#i am not lying it hurt so much

[dailytraingirl]

how much aura did i lose when i was best friends with a girl for three years and then i realized i had a crush on her and i was literally down bad i left secret coded notes in her locker and had this one hand sanitizer i used all the time because the scent reminded me of her's and my friends made up a song about us and then she decided to become popular and stopped talking to me and i was actually crushed and might have posted some embarassing tiktoks but seriously its like i was going through a breakup i cried so much and everyone thought i was so dramatic and today if she asked me to be friends again i would say yes i would give her a million more chances and she would hurt me a million more times

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.

[katyspersonal]

Lrb dear god, this reminded me of that time when Alfred-chan got sooooo mad at my post explaining why fans should respect bisexual headcanons for Maria and Malenia instead of pretending like they're canonically lesbians and that they get oppressed and erased by mxf ships with them. They kept vagueing that post for like a MONTH in their blog including in tags under reblogs of Maria fanart, passively-aggressively changed their url to character+sexuality to "spite" me and then even made a sockpuppet account to start shit with me in the comments.

They deactivated when me and Val completely obliterated their "you cultivate lesbiphobic following by telling people why they should respect all sexuality headcanons instead of acting cultish or assuming their experiences and stereotypes equal canon confirmation" garbage with actual facts and logic tho but I screenshotted everything fjthfgfj (I learned to document everything the hard way after they've changed the she/they pronouns to they/they pronouns ONLY to accuse me of misgendering, so thank you for making me wiser I guess 😎). Even more vile, as they, a white person, larped as an Arab in that sockpuppet to hold even MORE "privilege" against me in discussion gjtjfh Because for them race, gender or sexuality are just badges of honor and dishonor, they don't see these as traits of actual human beings. And Dr Eugene X, who worked with them and weaponized her race to accuse everyone who disagreed with her of racism, didn't bat an eye at such a terrible act too?? As usual, rules are not for their friends, lol

It is not even the worst thing Alfred did, and yet all of this just, just, JUST because I wrote a point on why bisexual headcanon people did nothing wrong and there is no ground to claim something is canon when it isn't. 🤦‍♂️ Like, they were soooo convinced that I hated lesbian headcanons and that I'd feel angry if they called Lady Maria a lesbian, when what I was angry at is this exact toxic behavior in the fandom. No matter how much you like a headcanon, don't be a bitch about it. Maria doesn't """belong""" to any gender or sexuality, she belongs to anyone who likes her and is invested in her complexity as a character!!!

Yet, apparently, common Malenia simps / Finlay shippers are no better than common Maria simps / Mariadeline shippers. Just, wild how after shit like this, many people have the guts to claim that it is "sexist redditbros" who are the biggest problem of creators in the fandom. 🤦‍♂️ They'd actually blush if they encountered what such self-proclaimed "feminists" do to their own (!!!) over headcanons. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[starheirxero]

Sooo, I thought about Lunar going He only hit me once about Eclipse, and stumbled across this really cool tumblr Blog talking about it

https://www.tumblr.com/annakenziesworld/750845019184922624/eclipse-only-ever-really-hit-me-once?source=share

I wanted to show you the angst, like a puppy shows it's owner a cool stick it found

Me to Lunar: Why the fuck you lying, WHY YOU ALWAYS LYING🎶

YEYSYESYYES I SAW THAT !!!! I've been thinking abt it sm since I saw it actually bc, while it was likely just a case of "it happened so long ago we forgor what happened", it can 100% be interpreted as Lunar repressing most of the memories from that time and only remembering the most "major" event and it's so fascinating to me! Bc like, I've thought it was weird they said he only hit them once too, bc I've always distinctly remembered Lunar telling Moon that Eclipse hit him twice!!

But as the clips show, honestly, it's a good bit over twice!! It's just probably likely that Lunar didn't clock it as anything notable or important because Eclipse just... kinda always treated them like that. They remembered the two hardest hits because those were particularly upsetting, but everything else just blended into the mix of "shitty ways Eclipse treats me." yk??? And then over time, more shit got repressed or forgotten, and they can only remember the day in the cafe.

Like again I know it's very likely entirely accidental, but it ended up being a pretty solid way to show memory issues via trauma! And that's not even accounting for the fact that depression (and their retconned ADHD 😔) can also cause memory problems!! So this little blunder can be attributed to their fucked up mental health in-universe which is both cool rep!! but also breaks my heart over Lunar so much BSJABSJS

[adhderall]

well as you can see besides being ugly as all fuck I'm also extremely bitter so that doesn't help at all in making me appealing. but it also comes with the territory you see, being treated as a hideous freak of nature for your whole life kind of does things to your psyche.

also going into shit in the tags as an extreeeemely jaded individual who's been on every side of the discourse and KNOWS it all VERY PERSONALLY so I know many people will find all sorts of different reasons to hate me (if they want ig) because I'm ~politically homeless~ at this point because I'm sick and tired of everything but whatever

(also fuck I ran out of space in the tags so another post maybe idk. )

[thebirdandhersong]

it's happened it's over it's done

[brazilian-whalien52]

I think Do Han is a really interesting character because he walks the line between selfish x assertive

I saw some people arguing the he is selfish because he left Ji Han behind and went to the US. Plus he made the contract with A Jeong even when it can fuck up her life. But I never considered this selfish acts but assertive ones? It is his life and he is living a toxic family dynamics. Yeah, it sucks that JH is in this situation but the fact is that he still also has the option to leave? DH does not want this life while JH wants it. Neither of them should shackle each other. The same way DH is not dragging JH out, JH should also not drag DH back. He should not live a lie for something he does not want. Plus with AJ it was a contract, he explained the risk to her until the point he knew but in the end this is a choice they made together.

Now, he is gonna have to make a choice when he finds out about DH and AJ being in love. Since this is a romance I believe eventually he will choose to give up on his fake marriage for their sake. However, if he choose to keep the fake marriage it will be a selfish act because this is something that he has direct control over. In this case he would be the one making both of them living a lie, over something that ultimately his happiness does not depend on? I mean, yeah the fake marriage is a solution he found. But since the beginning it was temporary and there are other paths he can take, are they harder? Yes. But they don't come at the cost of two people he deeply cares about.

And idk how to explain how this things are different between each other. But I guess it is a dilemma we queer people face a lot? Some of us back up from our families that is causing us pain but also we still want to be there with everything we love them. This is such a hard balance to fight and I don't think it is exclusive to queer people but is definitely a big part of our experience.

[windupaidoneus]

sorry if i am weirder than usual right now GRINS EVILLY but not too evilly. i dont know whats up with me today but its like a whole thing it might be the four hours of sleep if im honest

[running-in-the-dark]

I'm feeling alright today. finally put away about 2-3 months of clean laundry - it just kept piling up. it took three days (I got frustrated very quickly so I did sorting, then more sorting the next day, and putting everything away today) but it's done and I'm so happy! the floor in my room is visible now. I vacuumed! it feels nice.

I think tomorrow I'll put on new bedsheets (I have changed them once since we moved in. we moved in in April.), that'll be even better.

also, I looked up the number for the local child protective services office yesterday....

because I was once again woken up by the assholes in the apartment above us screaming at each other. except I'm fairly sure this time at least one of them screamed at their toddler too. and the toddler started crying - it sounded like they were saying ow... (I've heard this kid cry so many times and this sounded different)

i was still half asleep and I have a hard time telling if things actually happened then, so I can't be 100% sure that's what I heard, but the next time it sounds like that I will try to call someone (like, the yelling definitely happened, my husband heard it too - but I'm not completely sure what it was exactly. oh except the guy called his partner a stupid whore. that's how loud they were yelling....)

[pagesofkenna]

Just said "sheesh, Kenna, you're the smartest person I know" out loud while reading your tags on the FMA Truth and Ed's atheism post. Then I realized that Indiana probably doesn't care as much for this information as you might lolol

honestly i'd originally written a really annoying ramble about gods in fiction under that post and now i'm so glad i deleted it to write that much more succinct breakdown of my thoughts on the matter

[iwakuraz]

everytime I think even just a little bit that I'm starting to sort of get better at speaking aloud, somebody will say something horrible to me about my voice and ruin everything

[katyspersonal]

I really feel like such a helpless adult baby sometimes. Some things just take too long while to heal, and even when I think I've got no more pain left, something refuels it. Some wounds feel like putting a fireplace somewhere in innermost part of one's being; as long as it is there, there is a risk of someone throwing fuel in it and making it burn. And these fireplaces are so, SO darn hard to uninstall. Just.. how do I heal this?

[britneyshakespeare]

I feel like certain people on Tumblr have really been fighting for backwards progress when it comes to how we talk about mental illness and abuse. I see posts at least several times a week on my dash that seem to have the purpose of implying people with insert-mental-illness and/or insert-symptom are not abusive when they do insert-action-that-makes-people-uncomfortable, often times meaning to promote a more positive image of people with particularly stigmatized conditions, like personality disorders, mood disorders, psychosis, addiction, or neurodivergence. And I really really hate it because these posts almost always have the ultimate purpose of telling people not just "This thing is not inherently abusive," but often it comes across as "You were not abused."

I just find that to be really unhelpful and unintentionally hurtful, and for what? I believe that destigmatizing various mental conditions is a worthy cause, but at the same time this type of rhetoric seems to be so protective of people in whichever stigmatized group they're trying to advocate for, that it comes back around to a sort of respectability politics. Anybody can be an abuser. And someone's means and methods of abusing can very much be influenced by a condition they have. Why wouldn't it be? Their conditions will affect every aspect of their life and their interpersonal relationships. Especially if these issues are going untreated or being insufficiently managed. I don't understand why anyone would want to make it appear as if abusers are mostly neurotypical and mentally well people, or that if they aren't, then their conditions have nothing to do with it and the overlap is merely incidental. What? It makes it so hard for anyone who is a victim to come to terms and identify the dynamics of what they've gone through.

Addicts and mentally ill people don't have to be unproblematic in order to be humanized and accepted. And nobody profits from writing hard and fast rules about how abuse apparently works, drawing clear lines between which behaviors can, and cannot, ever be abuse.

[bittwitchy]

sometimes life w a v high pain tolerance means im still in pain but quiet abt it to not bother other ppl and sometimes it means im in such horrific pain for literally no reason (there is a reason oft just related to afab insides so ppl dont care) but i have to go to work anyways bc calling out is bad and somehow its ‘so brave’ to work while wanting to die as your insides torture you it feels like youre burning alive and your organs are breaking but hey we gotta go earn that dough right

[blueskittlesart]

there's something so tragic about aki admitting to makima that he just wants to protect denji and power and for them to be happy and then immediately being turned into a weapon to hurt them in the worst way possible

glad we are all in agreement this mademe start crying again btw

[anonymusbosch]

welp. meow meow meow