#i am not a day late wym

[rainnoblade]

my unfinished symphony / what have you done?

happy november 16th!!!

[dont-look-its-embarrassing]

Inner Ace pt.2

The Hunting Incident

I'm glad you guys like this idea! Personally, I couldn't really jive well with the image of Feyre just balls to the wall learning how to hunt suddenly and being perfect at it to survive. This storyline was my original bridge for that in my mind, so I am glad that it went well with you all :)

Update right before I post; I'm going to be honest I got EXTREMELY carried away with this one, so I apologize for the length...

Summary: As the time went by and tensions rose between the human lands and fae, the IC have been working tirelessly to try and maintain a balance and a new ally. As The High Lord and Lady cannot be outside their court for long (as other matters must be attended to in preparation for the war), Azriel is designated liaison for reporting back on the movements and whereabouts of the human queens. Having become friends through Feyre, Azriel finds himself spending more time with the human girl, coming to his own conclusion of close friendship and more? Late nights between the two have confusing tensions rise, that is until the Inner court makes a group stop to check in with Y/n before talking with the queens. An accident has not only the IC realizing this bond might go deeper then friends, but a realization within the Spymaster himself as he finds himself gazing at the beautiful woman more often than not.

Warnings: injury, cannon typical violence, fluff, sexual tension, (a little) angst, potential non-cannon faebane workings (ngl some of it is lost on me), non-cannon time (meaning it is a bit longer of a timeline bc wym this all happened in less than a couple years?!), injury, alcohol consumption

Pt 1 Masterlist

WC (I forgot this in the first part, oops): 11,301

The time that Feyre and the males came and went from her home left Y/n's head spinning. Although for a couple days, the relief and warmth within her home was notably missing upon their departure back to their court. Although Y/n understood that Feyre had in fact become an influential power figure within their world, the hole that she leaves when her presence is gone always has Y/n reeling. She wouldn't describe herself as some who is dependent on another person or her friends, but it sure does make the cold nights a bit warmer with the promise of seeing them tomorrow. Y/n had grown extremely close to the bunch within her home. As her status of 'best friend' with Feyre was any sort of key, the rest of the males quickly followed suit with dinners and time spent with each other talking and getting to know about the other party. Although Cassian had to be cut off with some of the stupid invasive questions he asked the girl, it only fueled the bond that they all began to share. It made the goodbye (although not for forever) harder for them all.

"You need to come back and see me." Y/n had eyed the Feyre down, not allowing her to break. "This isn't a request or some sort of bargain that I don't understand. You are going to make time for a sit-down gossip session like we used to have."

Laughing as if this plan would happen within a week, at most, Feyre had embraced Y/n in an all-encompassing hug.

"Of course."

Giving a nod and pulling away, Y/n's eyes had met that of the High Lord, Rhys. Upon a small chat with Feyre, Y/n had been informed that this man, or male, was Feyre's forever bond or something. He had offered a warm smile, one that Y/n sent back easily.

Again, something that the human girl didn't fully understand, but respected none the less.

"Thank you for letting us stay. I know that it was a risk, we won't forget that and are in your debt." The small eye roll that Y/n couldn't hold made him chuckle.

"Relax there, lover boy." A nickname that again, upon hearing about her best friend's lover, was given. It had caused an exaggerated aghast look when Y/n had used it only days ago, which also made her tense in worry that she had insulted him, but the loud laughs that Feyre couldn't hold in let her tension ease.

The chuckle to her right brought her attention to the gentle giant that she now knows as Cass. He was a breeze to get along with to say the least. Although her initial assessment as him being the biggest- thus- scariest was the most far off out of the three. Granted, he was a force to be reckoned with, but amongst friends he was nothing but a pile of jokes, laughs and warmth.

His large stature altered a bit sideways as he folded his large wings into himself further as to not hit his brother, turning towards Y/n.

"I'm offended I didn't get an invite to this gossip session." The human girl laughed while giving a hug into the side of the larger male.

"You can't gossip when the topic of the gossip is there." She joked. Shaking his head, Cassian offered another squeeze to her body before letting go and stepping back a bit.

Then all who was left was Azriel.

The very male that she admittedly harbored a small stupid crush on as his soft shadows continued to swirl around her space. They had had multiple conversations, but also multiple silences, just allowing each other to exist in the other's company. Over these past few days, it was found that they had very similar sleeping habits, finding it hard to find peace to rest and keeping them up to all hours of the night. Initially, the small creek of the Spymaster sneaking out of his room the first night had Y/n shooting up off the couch, throwing the book she had been reading to the ground. Azriel had apologized that night for startling her, but it was also the night they became comfortable within the space together.

"Can't sleep?" Her voice was soft, soft enough to have the spymaster's eyes flutter slightly at the sound. Her silhouette was illuminated by the hearth that still flickered in life, it made the curve of her form warm and inviting to his eye. The setting was oddly, intimate.

"No, sadly." He offered. Y/n nodded while taking ahold of her hands, laying them in front of herself. Azriel realized it wasn't a defensive or uncomfortable gesture, just one that was simply inquiring. Not knowing what else to offer, Azriel attempted to meet her halfway realizing he had stepped into her impromptu 'room' as she had given away her only beds to himself and his court. "Cassian snores."

Azriel winced the moment the sentence came out of his mouth. Never in his life has he felt so inept to talk to a female.

However, nothing could prepare him for the soft bell like sound of a hushed giggle that resonated from Y/n. Her eyes held mirth as she picked up the book from the floor and moved her bedding over on the larger seat, placing herself in one of the corners.

"Well, you are more than welcome to come here for some peace. I normally read until much later." Offering the seat on the other corner of the more comfortable couch Azriel couldn't push down the budding warmth that spread within his chest.

Y/n couldn’t help it. She didn’t know why her nerves settled with this fae in particular, but the dry remark of Cassian snoring had her defensive pacifism towards him dropping like the dead. He looked just as lost and hesitant as she was, she couldn’t help but giggle at it. The image of this tall, dark and handsome powerful being having the same reserves about someone as frail as herself made this whole ‘I should be worried’ thing seem petulant. If he truly meant her harm, she knew she would’ve already been dead.

He stood there for a moment, Y/n assumed he was trying to figure out what to do about the offer.

“There are some novels on the shelf under the stairs.” She offered. “You’re more than welcome to help yourself if you need something to pass the time.”

"Thank you." His tone was soft enough to match Y/n's as he took a step or two over to the desired pages. Assessing the shelf's titles, he grabbed one, grey in color. Brining himself back to the offered seat, Y/n made sure to do one more check to see if he had space to sit and adjust. Upon his weight settling on the cushion less than a foot away from her, she relaxed back into her position.

A soft silence settled over the two as the popping of the fire's light licked at their skin.

Azriel didn't know how much time had passed, he was a good chunk of his novel through, when he glanced back to the human girl. Y/n had been fully engrossed in the story that played before her. Luckily, the binding of the book didn't give way to the soft love story that unfolded within the pages. The glimmer in her eye caught by the Spymaster as a question flooded his mind. Without much thought, he let his inquiry slip through his lips, falling victim to the comforting nature of his company.

"How do you know how to read?" The deep baritone broke Y/n out of her trance. However, the question made an easy sly smile spread on her face. Slowly turning her head to meet Azriel's gaze, Y/n couldn't tell if it was the warmth of the fire that painted his cheeks in a dusty rose, of it he truly didn't think before he spoke.

Azriel wanted the floor to swallow him.

What was he thinking?

How do you know how to read? Really.

The laughs of his shadows taunted him as he swallowed, beginning to try and dig himself out of his never-ending hole.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that-" Scanning her face, that sly smile and raised brows queued him into her train of thought just enough to cut himself off. "You think it's funny." He whispered a deadpan.

"I think this is hilarious, to be quite frank." Y/n closed her book, placing it at her side while returning her attention back to the male. "Out of the two of us, I should be the one stumbling over my words and saying the wrong things."

A sigh followed through her lips; Az fought himself to lean closer.

"But here you are, all of you." Y/n gestured to the bulk of the male on the couch, "Do I make you nervous?"

Azriel allowed his shoulders to fall, melt into the space and even felt his guard lower enough for the girl to peek through.

"I haven't figured that out yet." He offered, placing his book down as well, allowing himself to turn towards the girl. A brief pause as they looked at each other.

"You were asking that because Feyre couldn't, right?" Y/n began. Az nodded a simple 'yes', allowing her to bring her knees to her chest, getting comfortable. "I barely knew myself when I found her, and we became close. I had maybe two, no, three books?" Y/n's eyes had glazed in memory.

"It was always on the list of things to try and teach her, but I could only work so fast." The spymaster quirked his head towards her at that, an elaborative gesture. "Survival seemed more important." Was all Y/n gave him. She had hoped it wasn't received as a 'I don't want to talk about it', but it was simply a sore spot for her. She had faulted herself on all the things she never got to do with her best friend, but truly, some things were more important.

"From when she left, I got better. Taught myself to read more sophisticated books to a degree and attempting to write when I could." Y/n looked down, blush coating her cheeks. "I still can't write very well. It isn't super legible."

Azriel had imagined this was similar to how his brother felt upon realizing the female in front of him was pushed aside on something so vital but simple.

"Would you like to practice? I can help."

"You are only going to be here for a couple days."

"I'll be back." Y/n was surprised at the instancy and promise that laced Azriel's voice. For her, she would be lucky to see Feyre again after this, but now, there is another promise for someone else to come see her. For someone else to care about seeing her.

"Okay." The heat didn't leave her cheeks for the rest of the night as their conversation continued after that, soft and vulnerable in nature. As the rest of the house slept, it would be a little secret of theirs and routine for the following days. Every night, right as Cassian would start to snore within the shared bedroom, Y/n could count on the shadow of wings and a soft hum of blue stones making his way down to the couch, grabbing a book on his way.

"I'll be back." Azriel said, bringing back Y/n the present. His tone wasn't as warm as that night, but the underlying promise still stood prominent between them. A small elbow jab into the side of Rhys had him turning to his mate, clocking the excitement in her eyes as she watched the two.

You are sending him back here upon the earliest opportunity.

Of course, Feyre darling.

Y/n hadn't moved from her spot and Azriel didn't know if he should go for an embrace like his brother or keep his distance. Everything in his being told him closer, closer, closer.

Closer. Closer. Closer. Embrace. She wants it. Embrace.

Or it was just his shadows pushing him towards her. Y/n had noticed during the time they spent together; his shadows couldn't help but flock to the similar nape of her neck like they had done the night they met. Upon its repeated offense, Y/n had assured the spymaster that it was a welcomed experience and to not worry about it. To her, she couldn't quite grasp the whole 'they are a part of me' conversation, so in her mind, every so often the slipped out from his control.

Azriel didn't correct this way of thinking at all. In fact, he indulged in it more than he probably should have. When she had left for the woods, a small cluster of them had followed her without much of her knowledge. Anytime her frame was out of his gaze a small tendril would follow, reporting back to its' owner of any inconvenience or issue that she might come across. It was a precautionary measure for his high lady's best friend, at least that is what he told himself as his mind eased with the quick sight of shadow darting behind her neck.

The brush of wind and breath against Y/n's ear had her shiver slightly. Even without a welcome embrace of the male, this was oddly more him.

As the group funneled out of the door, the promise of aid and help floated in her direction before they had disappeared into what seemed was the wind.

She wouldn't see anyone from that group again until a week or so later when a rapt on her door drew her attention from the meal she was prepping for that night. She hadn't been expecting anyone, her normal buyer for game wasn't set to arrive until next week and her produce hadn't grown in for the month yet to be selling, so Y/n was at a loss.

Hesitantly making her way to the door, she stopped to listen to see if anyone would inquire about who they were or what they wanted. Upon pressing her hands against the door in preparation to crack it open, a familiar breath against her ear made an involuntary smile take ahold of her features.

"You know, it is pretty cold out here. Could you please open the door?" The voice of Azriel came out muffled through the wood.

Y/n couldn't open the door quick enough to grab the male and drag him inside.

A small chuckle rung from him as he followed her in quickly.

"You can't do that!" She chastised, quickly closing the curtains and peeping out the window to make sure nobody was around.

"I didn't want to be rude."

"Ya? Well, be rude. You will get yourself killed otherwise."

"Am I supposed to just winnow in here then?"

"Win what?" Azriel stopped, placing a small sack down on the couch, turning to her with amusement in his eyes. His brow raised in question, asking to continue, it had Y/n nodding.

"Remember when we left?" Y/n nodded again; the motion making the spymaster's chest flutter. "It seemed that we just..." He searched for the word, "disappeared?"

"Yes, I assumed one of you had magic wind powers that no one told me about." Y/n knew she sounded stupid, ignorant even, but this whole experience made her ignorant to what felt like everything. However, Y/n would be as ignorant as she needed to be to elicit the loud laugh that came from Azriel. He was sat down now, all but sprawled on the couch in laze. The two had been comfortable before, now with his return it seemed they had entered a much deeper trust.

"No, that's not-" another laugh, "not how it works." Y/n followed suit, letting herself settle on the nearby seat. She giggled at the situation.

"What? You can't expect me to get that right first guess." Her giggles filled in the space between Azriel's now dwindling laugh.

"It is actually close now that I think about it." Looking to her again he began his short explanation. "It is some sort of magic. Cassian can't do it."

"Ah, I see. Doesn't have the ol' flare that the rest of you have?" The spymaster didn't want to think to clearly about the ease in which this girl pulled a relaxed smile from him.

"No, I guess not." He had continued with his little explanation, Y/n nodding the whole way through. Upon his finale she had adjusted herself to stand again. His eye's grazed over her form as she stood.

"Where are you going?" Her cheeks warmed.

"Just to add some more ingredients for dinner."

"Oh, speaking of which..." Az had reached for the bad he had tossed onto the furniture earlier, prying open the top. Reaching in he had grabbed a handful of a smaller pouch that resided in it. Upon tossing it towards Y/n, her hand instinctually catching it from the air. It was heavy and 'clinked' when it landed within her palm, that familiar weight and sound had the girl's eyes widening. "That is from the court."

"By the gods, this is a little much for a couple months, no?" It wasn't that Y/n was ungrateful, but a pouch filled as much as this one could have her living more than comfortably for a long time around here.

"It isn't that much Y/n."

"Yes, it is."

"Not for Rhys."

"Still, I feel bad."

"Why do you feel bad?"

"Because I feel like I'm using you guys."

"You are not using us."

"Really? Because how heavy this is I would say I'm using."

"Just take the coins Y/n."

"Okay."

Y/n twirled back towards the kitchen, quickly finding her stash of money and hiding it away. The quick banter between the two lingering in the air as a grin still remained on both of their faces. Following through with her plan, Y/n began adding some more portions to the already marinating meats.

The hours passed by quickly, an ease of comfort and warmth enveloping the two while Azriel got his tasks in order for what he needs to find and where he could go to find it. Y/n didn't pry much about his work, obviously seeing the tenseness gradually seeping into his form with each shadow that would return to him. So, as dinner came and went, the girl had made herself busy preparing his room and planning her route for the next day.

When she came back to the living room moments later, Y/n was surprised to see the lack of the hulking male that was once sat on her couch. Picking up her pace, she had quickly cracked the front door to see if he had left by foot. Upon finding no footprints on the snow, she shut the door and returned to cleaning up the place a bit more before his return.

Hours ticked by, Y/n had changed and prepped for bed quietly stepping back into her living room, grabbing the latest novel on her way. She had adorned a simple nightgown, nothing fancy or elaborate like what she had seen the Archerons wear after Feyre's departure, but the garment was divine to sleep in, emphasizing the "gorgeous silhouette" that her best friend had insisted about. She had worn it many times before, but the idea of the Spymaster seeing her in it had her heart skip a beat at the thought.

Y/n had taken her seat across from the fire that cackled, opened her novel, and began to read.

Azriel was annoyed.

He had gotten a whisper from one of his shadows about movement within one of the queen's guards and upon his departure, he didn't even have time to leave a note. Az knew that she wouldn't fret after hearing the summary of winnowing hours prior, but the thought of her looking for him without explanation about his absence struck a chord within his chest. He had been staked out for hours, not moving or even twitching from his position amongst the dark. The whispers continued to circle him, all reporting the same thing.

He had wasted his time tonight, there was nothing substantial going on with the Human Queen.

He let the vein in his forehead throb with the clench of his jaw. He had turned once more, checking the area around himself before settling on the decision to leave. His body almost longed for warmth despite his anatomy making it very hard for him to be actually cold. Azriel stopped his thought before he could dive any deeper on the thought of the specific heat he craved.

Home. Back. Beauty. Soft. Beauty. Leave.

It was a drug he couldn't quit. Without much else of a thought, Azriel had allowed his shadows to take him back to your little house that stood at the edge of the wall. Taking your prior conversation (and as much of a threat as Y/n could conjure towards him), he had winnowed right into the living room, bypassing the door.

Warm. Soft. Beauty. Look. Look. Look.

Azriel's eyes had trailed over to the couch, Y/n's form capturing his attention immediately. His shadows hadn't been lying, the way you laid was that of a spiritual sight. The curve of your body held gently by a soft looking nightdress that she must've put on after he left. The familiar lick of the hearth's light caressing her softly, almost akin to the most attuned lover, kissing her skin and shadows.

I was a sight that Azriel forced himself to memorize, and one that he knew he would see in his dreams to come.

It was obvious that you had been reading, the novel fallen on to the floor with some pages crinkled with its own weight.

Although Azriel didn't want to disrupt the sight of something so vulnerable and captivating, the thought of her sore body the next day from a fitful rest on the used couch made him move quickly. He had prayed to whatever deity that listened that his 'quiet' reputation proceeded him as he took steps on the creaking floor to get to Y/n without waking her. Upon his success, he let out a silent breath.

As effortless as she looked, Azriel had picked her up cradling her to himself as securely as possible without altering her form. Her slight sigh and twitch had him stalling for a moment, checking her heartbeat to ensure she was in fact still asleep. With his confirmation, he began his trek up the stairs and towards her room. He had passed by it multiple times during his prior time with his court, but holding her now as he placed her onto the bed, it stirred that inexplainable flutter in him.

Az had wanted to start helping Y/n on her writing tonight, but the subtle (although meaningless) shift in guard had pulled him away.

Tomorrow night then.

Y/n was ecstatic to have the spymaster around for as long as he did. Although only a couple days, the two had bonded and laughed with each-other. Much to Yn’s surprise, Az had been adamant on beginning her practice with a pen. It was a bit rough in the beginning, but by the end of his stay she was confident in some of the letters and how they flowed.

But sadly as all things do, he had to return home.

It was another awkward goodbye, this time the brush of his shadows lingered, almost matching the lingering gaze he shared with her. Y/n had sworn she almost got lost in it.

He had left her with the same promise as before.

“I’ll be back.” Then the male all but vanished from her door.

The next time he had stopped by it was in a flurry of motion, one that even had Y/n reeling. He had apologized before vanishing away only to be back in the middle of the night. Upon the sun rising, he had left a platter of produce on the table with another small pouch of coins and a note explaining his hasty departure.

It made Y/n smile, although disappointed she couldn’t see him more.

Occurrences like that became common for the two. His stays never lasting more then a couple of days at most before he was gone again. Through Azriel’s increased trips, Feyre had akin him to a letter boy with all of her messages and small trinkets that she wished to tell her still human best friend. As for Y/n? She couldn’t be happier in her life if she tried. Sure, Feyre wasn’t here with her next door and the male she has come to crush on like had their own demons to fight which took their time, but for the first time in a very long time Y/n felt remembered.

Even though the last trip that Azriel had taken tested the waters between the two, and Y/n would be damned if she didn’t stay up at night in embarrassment.

The breath against her ear didn’t startle Y/n anymore. She had become akin to the soft silken caress of the spymasters shadows and even reveled in their touch when they caressed her neck. The snow had officially begun to melt by now, the ground slowly becoming soft as the sky broke away to the sun once more.

“I need to wash the bedding in your room before you retire for the night.” She had twirled around, gentle and soft, adding to the allure of the scent of fruit that she had been cutting prior. There stood Azriel, as beautiful as ever, in her foyer looking over her form. It was a welcome gesture as since as much as she had tried capture his attention, he seemed as fortified as a fortress. Y/n would be lying if she said she didn’t attempt to try and test the boundaries between them. A glance here, accidental brush there, the best of her wardrobe when preparing dinner for herself hoping he would snatch her away.

The last thought was a bit much, but her mind didn’t care.

Az had noted a couple visits prior, sent a compliment towards her and the dress she had managed to adorn through the leftovers of the last coin pouch. It was a frivolous purchase, but she knew she needed to be a bit more open to receiving help as Feyre would have her had (and no doubt Azriel’s) if she didn’t.

“Don’t fret if it isn’t done until later.” The Spymaster assured. Y/n couldn’t help but throw a questioning glance at him. “I have to check something out for a bit and report. Might be a little while.”

“Shall I count you for dinner?” Y/n had hopes he would as she had missed him from his time away. “I’m going to grab some drinks from the market today, I was hoping you would try them with me.”

“I should hope so. If not this will be a long night.” Y/n smiled at that.

“Any specific types of drink you prefer?”

“Whatever you favor.” Azriel did not know much of human alcohol, he assumed there was the standard of wine, but that was as far as he had ventured. It wasn’t worth much to fae as it was not nearly as potent to have any sort of effects.

“Ah, I well then it’ll be a surprise to us both.” Y/n had turned around fully, back to her task, and also to hid the slight brushing of red that dusted her cheeks. She was embarrassed by her lack of experience, but he didn’t need to know that.

Obviously, Azriel figured it out, and quickly at that. Her hesitance with accepting his answer along with the slight rush of her heart and as a dead giveaway. Thinking about it now he assumed that there wasn’t much that this human girl could lie to him about that he wouldn’t catch. Az knew he can read people well, but this was almost effortless, as if he was attuned to those emotions.

He also knew that since her experience was limited, if at all, she would definitely have 0 tolerance.

Even if Az would be caught up in the most perilous situation (he wouldn’t be, but even so) he would make sure to find himself back at this little house by sundown.

As for Y/n, the idea that the male would be there for the experience brought a sense of comfort to her. Yes, it wasn't Feyre like she had hoped as since they had planned to get her 'inebriated' according to her best friend, but it was someone.

Y/n wouldn't be alone.

Plus, the person she would spend the experience with was a hulking dark and handsome male, so that was a huge bonus.

It wasn't long before Azriel had head out, making sure to bid a small farewell and promise to see her tonight. Y/n had taken this opportunity to not only tidy up the house, make sure his room was cleaned and ready, but also to make herself a bit more presentable to head into town. It wasn't often that she ventured this way, most times she was fresh from the forest and outside her house skinning the latest kill for fur and cuts of meat. Occasionally she would venture in with produce and some wheat she could grow year-round, both instances made for dirty work and one that wasn't very presentable.

Now as she ventures that way, freshly bathed, adorning new clothes and smelling like berries; Y/n felt new.

She had missed the glances her way from the men around her, and the warmth she was received with from the elderly women as she walked by. The way she had held herself was that of a below common person, but in the eyes of the people, she was anything but. If they hadn't watched the girl grow up there would be no doubt that she would be mistaken for the very thing they feared most from her beauty alone.

"Hello." Y/n found herself standing outside a small storefront, the walls adorned with bottles. Within the booth, a smaller man sat, a worn cap on his head. He received her with a smile.

"What can I help you with ma'am?" Y/n roamed her eyes over the shelf hesitantly. The different bottle heights, sizes and colors making her indecisive. The shop keep must've seen the nervousness in her eyes as he let out a small chuckle.

"I can give you some recommendations, if you would like?"

The breath of relief was audible from the girl.

"Yes please."

"What is the occasion?" The question wasn't targeted or sly of any sort, more so inquiring for a better understanding of what he should recommend to Y/n, but she couldn't help but nervously ring her neck where a small wisp hid as blush spread over her skin. She had a small hope that (despite not knowing how they work) her hand clasping over the small silken thing would stop it from potentially hearing the conversation.

"I have a friend coming for dinner tonight."

"Do you want something to pair with the meal or for after?" A small amount of mirth entered the man's eyes as he mentioned beyond the food. It made the color darken on Y/n's neck and spread to her ears.

"I'm not sure..." She hesitated; it was so out of her element for her to even think such a thing could happen for her. Yeah, aside a couple nights with Feyre where they wanted to "practice" and learn with someone they were comfortable with (at least some of it), Y/n hadn't been with anyone. The thought of her being entrapped in passion, much like the books she enjoys every so often, with another had her already nervous stomach filling with flutters. It only increased when the thought of the fae male being the one to spend it with. "Both?"

She didn't mean to say it as a question, really. The man's grin widened as he nodded, turning around to his inventory. He reached under the counter, shuffling some things out of the way before grabbing what he desired. Before a second passed, he had placed a short red bottle on the counter. Y/n eyed it carefully as the lowering sun's rays hit it perfectly to see the rose-colored liquid inside.

"Pair this with any sort of fruit or shoot it straight. It can be sipped on or mixed." Y/n nodded, checking the price as he turned around again. She could easily get the bottle and another with the ruminants of the coin purse that Az had brought his last visit. Upon fixing his room up earlier, she had seen another stashed away in his bag with her initial on it. She wanted to give the small delicate fabric bag back to the spymaster as she had felt bad for having it as long as she did, so a little drink would be the perfect occasion to use it on.

"Red or white meat tonight for dinner?"

As Y/n ventured back towards the house, the sun began to officially set beyond the tree line. She had picked up a bit of pace on her way back to make sure she had enough time to put on the slip dress she adored so much. Upon her arrival home, Y/n glanced at the windows (which remained curtain shut as to keep out the eyes of others) in hopes to potentially see the outline of a male. She had left fireplace lit and the candle lanterns around the house going as to make sure he had light if he did come back early. Entering the house however, Y/n didn't feel the presence of the shadows or their master within. Placing the alcohol on the table, Y/n made her way upstairs to change and freshen up her appearance.

Upon her satisfaction she made her way back downstairs and to the table where the drinks lie.

She had taken them out of the bag, placing the wine she had purchased for the meal on the small table. Keeping the smaller red bottle with her as she went to the cabinet, Y/n grabbed two cups.

She didn't have any fancy glassware so this would have to do. She highly doubted Azriel would mind.

Placing the cup she meant for him on the table next to the wine, Y/n couldn't help the wandering eye towards the little red bottle that stood ominously on the counter. The way the fire licked at the color looked taunting, but the continued flutter in her stomach at the thought of the spymaster had an idea popping in her head.

Maybe she should try it. Just a little.

Y/n had to make sure it was good before she served it, right?

Before she let herself think too much on the decision, the human girl had popped the lid off, poured a couple seconds into the glass, and shot it back.

The taste was not something she had expected in the slightest. It was sweet, to a degree, with a smoothness that allowed it to gently slide down her throat. The heat that came with the liquid surprised her. Her chest that had been tight all day with the image of her guest warmed and relaxed, the feeling still lingering, but did not have as much of a hold on her.

Y/n like this liquid, she had hopes Azriel would too. Maybe he would even compliment her for picking it out.

A small shy smile broke onto her features at the thought.

Azriel had watched as the sun receded below the tree line. He had done everything he needed to do with his report and check in, quickly making time to tie up any loose ends while he was there. Nothing violent (luckily, as he didn't want to scare a specific human upon his arrival home) but simple covering of his tracks and finalizing some plans before next month.

Everything was clicking into place perfectly as far as he knew.

Giving a small nod to himself, he felt his shadows pull him back to the small house, eager to see the girl within. He didn't fight them but simply allowed himself to appear withing the familiar foyer. The smell of food was the first thing that he had noticed. For a human, with the limited palette that they possessed, Y/n had somehow crafted her cooking to be palatable by fae standards. It had been a plus of his visits here as he could enjoy his time and not feel like he was starving unlike the trip to the other Archeron's house all that while ago.

The second thing he noticed was the bottle of what looked to be some sort of human wine on the table. Az allowed a small warm smile to spread at the gesture. It was sweet, like her, to pick something out that he knew she had heard him talk about prior when recalling his time with his family. It gave insight to just how much she had been listening to him.

The third thing he noticed was the second, smaller bottle sitting on the table slightly behind the human wine. It had been obviously opened as with his quick assessment Az guessed it was about half empty. Taking a step or two to the table, Azriel had picked up the bottle to examine it.

Upon a small sip of the liquid Azriel found It was strong, almost illusionary with its taste. Even he, as fae, felt the warmth go down his throat and a small heat to fill his chest. Confusion gripped him.

This was definitely not a human made drink. If he had any guesses, he would have thought this was some sort of sipping fae gin infused with some sort of floral to cut the bite.

Half the bottle gone made him notice the fourth thing within the house, Y/n's form on one of the seats reading. If the obvious red on her cheeks was any give away to her status at the moment, her lack of notice when he had entered the house would be the most obvious telltale sign.

Y/n was drunk. Deceptively so as she sat cozied up in the chair, obviously reading some sort of romance book.

Az had placed the bottle down a little harder than he normally would, allowing the small ring to jolt Y/n out of her fantasy.

"Azriel! You're back!" Springing up off the couch with more grace than any sane person who is drunk, Y/n had effortlessly gotten to Azriel and enveloped him into a small embrace. It made the male freeze, unsure if he should wrap his arms around the girl or wait until she removed herself from him.

How desperately he wanted to return the embrace.

So, fueled by the liquor that ran through her veins, he settled his hands just above her waist.

Y/n couldn't believe that he made it back for dinner. She didn't try to stop that joy from spreading to her face as the warmth in her body buzzed through her. She didn't mean to drink as much of the liquid as she did, but once she started, the confidence and buzz that came quickly after felt reliving from her crushing nerves.

"I have dinner ready! I also got some of the wine the man at the stall recommended!" Y/n all but burst at the seams with the male's small smile towards her.

"Did he also suggest the other bottle too?" The question was soft, careful to not seem as if she had done something unknowingly wrong. He wasn't upset or anything with her, just an ounce of concern resided in him for her head tomorrow morning.

"He did! It's wonderful too. Try it!" With or without her knowledge, there was very little Azriel wouldn't do for the look that Y/n gave him. Her eyes wide and shining towards him. Very few times had he every received something like this from someone. Az had watched his brothers receive these looks and vulnerability, but never did he think someone could feel safe enough with him to be worthy of it.

Here Y/n stood, almost toe to toe with the fae, giving the best attempt at 'the eyes' that Feyre had talked to her about when they were younger. It was stupid, she knew this, but it was the best time to try and test her effect with them. She made sure to bat her eyes a couple times to emphasize her request towards the shadow singer until he gave a little chuckle and broke away from the embrace. His scarred hands reached for the red bottle and not to long after he was taking a long draw of it from the cup Y/n had selected for him.

"And? Did I do well?" Y/n fished. Azriel gave in quickly.

"Yes, very well. It is quite good, just like how the food smells." Y/n jumped. "Is it ready?"

"Yes!" Y/n all but bounced over to the kitchen, grabbing a plate and handing it to Azriel who had followed behind her. They had sat to eat, allowing the small talk between them to carry. All the while, Y/n had opened the wine and began to pour for herself and Az. It was different then the red bottle liquid. More drinkable and less potent for her. The stall owner did in fact call the type to pair well as one glass became two, two became three, and soon the bottle was done.

Y/n was surely floating.

Azriel should have stopped her after the first glass. The slowing of her movements, softness within her eye, the normal sharp wit reduced to putty as she gently talked. All of it was also why he didn't. It had been so long since someone talked to him gently, reached for him softly, asked him about little details that would normally never matter about himself.

It was as addicting as the drink she had finished minutes before.

Her standing sent a small shock of surprise through him. Her reaching for his finished plate while holding her own had him slightly panicked. He had made notion to stand and take his own plate to put away, but the soft 'I got it' and gentle ease of her hand putting pressure on his shoulder to sit again kept him stationary. Everything in himself put the idea of her serving him in such a way put his nerves on fire. Maybe it was the gin, maybe it was the fact that he couldn't stop the way his eyes trailed the flow of that damned sleeping gown that had his hands twitching to grab.

"We can go to the couch if you want." She had returned to him and grabbed his hand, something that had Az analyzing her face to determine just how drunk she was. They had some physical contact before, but this was a new level.

Azriel luckily let her drag him over to the sitting room. She had guided him to the softest area to sit while she took position next to the male. Upon her placing herself next to him, all but draped on the furniture she let the drink drive her words.

"Is it cold?" Y/n forgot that the male couldn't read her mind, thus when the questioning look towards her and then the fire made a string of giggle slip from her lips. "When you fly silly."

Right, Az was the silly one right now. However, the inquiry was welcome as he settled into his seat and altered himself to see her more clearly.

"Not really. Only If I go really high, but it's dependent on the weather I guess."

"Really? I always thought it would be cold not matter what."

"I'm also just naturally hot."

"Yes, you are."

Azriel laughed.

"No, I mean physically."

"Ya, I know."

"No." Y/n couldn't help but let the confusion cross her face. She agreed with him, why was he laughing? Sure, she would listen to it any time he would give it to her, but it was lost on her why. "I mean I'm Illyrian, we are warm naturally."

The blush on her face all but multiplied and deepened in color, no longer just the drink affecting it.

"But I am glad you think I'm hot." Y/n tried her best to hide in her hands and hair, only for the male to gently reach for her jaw, tilting her head back for him to see. Y/n didn't stop his touch, nor did she stop her intrusive thought to test the theory of his warmth herself. She had strung her hand around his wrist, guiding his hand against her cheek. She didn't think it felt any different than her own hands., maybe it was because the fire behind Az's eyes distracted her.

She had shut her eyes, pressing his marred flesh into her soft skin.

Azriel was going to combust. He didn't know if it was from the ever growing affections for the girl (that he no longer fought as hard), or the growing issue she was causing if he let his thoughts slip for even a second (that he was fighting for his life against right now).

Y/n opened her eyes again, meeting Azriel's easily as a slow, easy smile spread over her. It was as simple as taking a breath. The comfort of it all was that of her relationship with Feyre, but this felt heavier. It was a welcome relief from all the cold and disdain she caught from her best friend's sisters.

"I'm really happy your here." Y/n dropped her hand, which still encased his. "I'm really happy you come to see me."

Y/n had to blink a couple times to make sure she wasn't imagining the slight color on the tips of his ears that she swore was not there prior. There was no look of surprise, or any sort of telltale sign of his that suggested that he was uncomfortable or upset at what she had said, but the wide-eyed look of his had her moving without her knowledge.

She felt her lips make contact with the shell of his ear before she had pulled away to see them doubled in color. Another giggle of hers bubbled out and into the room. Azriel was a statue under her touch, the only notable difference was his slightly heavier breathing that she caught sight of. Before mentioning it however, her head lulled to where his neck met his shoulder, trying to understand why the room seemed distorted more than it had before.

"I'm tired." It was the only conclusion in which she could come to about her predicament. She had felt the male above her nod and a rush of air. It seemed that the statue shadow singer had been holding his breath. Gently pushing her body off of himself much to her disappointment. He stood before her; however, Y/n gave no inclination to move. Her arms however raised in motion for him to succumb to her wishes as she didn't trust her legs to work. A small huff and chuckle exited him before allowing her to get away with such a behavior.

"Okay there little vixen, let's get you up." Her smile was contagious at the name, but she kept the rather heated comments to herself. As she settled into his arms, her own wrapped around his neck in a feeble attempt to try and make herself a bit lighter for the male, easier to carry. By no means was she a tiny woman, Feyre had gotten all the slim genes between them, and while she wasn't unable to live her life, Y/n had curves. Most of it was muscle from the years out hunting and foraging on her own, but it didn't stop the slight worry that she was in fact a bit heavy to Az as he carried her.

Each step that Azriel took was slow, calculated even. He had to try and control himself as to not scare the human girl staring at him so intently that it warmed him to his core.

He also prayed that if he moved slow enough, she wouldn't notice the problem that currently threatened to make itself know if she moves just a little. It sure didn't help that the flesh of her ass was held so easily against his arm, keeping her stationary against him.

Gods she was addicting, and so, so easy to become enamored with.

Azriel didn't understand how in just a couple of months that a human could be so dear to himself. He didn't doubt that the girl in his arms knew him in more depth than most within his life to this day. He truly believed she saw him.

He loved his family, but this was different.

Her bedroom came into view too quickly for Y/n's liking as she hadn't finished memorizing the feel of his chiseled body against hers. Swiftly, as the bed had come to view under her, Y/n had let go of the male and simply fell back into the comfy blankets and pillows below. Her mind swirled with her descent while the only thing that seemed to be in focus was the male of her affections.

"You can lay down too." Her own voice was foreign to her, no longer did she have control over the words that spilled out.

Azriel stood still, watching.

"I don't bite~"

Y/n had reached out to grasp his hand. Successful in her contact, she gently pulled him onto the bed, positioning him on his back, careful of his wings. Without much else of a thought, Y/n had moved his arm just right, allowing herself to curl up within the space it made against his torso. The warmth radiating from him had Y/n passed out in mere minutes, while the poor shadow singer fought demons to keep his composure and not jump the girl.

The next morning Y/n hadn't remembered the entirety of the night, but she sure did remember the little love-bite she had quickly delivered to his ear. She had apologized profusely if she had made him uncomfortable and swore off the sinning liquid. Azriel had insisted that she would in fact want to drink again, and that he didn't mind in the slightest about her welcome intrusion of his space. Y/n wasn't convinced but still took her apologies and made them breakfast while nursing her head.

Sadly, Azriel had to depart that day for a report he had to make to Rhys. This time however, he allowed himself to embrace Y/n, lingering slightly within her scent.

The most recent time in which Y/n had guests within her home, it was the entire Inner Court (or at least the ones she had met before).

"Y/n!" Feyre had yelled upon exiting the winnow into her house. Loud thuds had been heard from the second story before the familiar sight of the human girl raced past all the males and into the arms of her best friend.

"You're here!" If the embrace was any tighter, oxygen would be difficult to pass between them. The sight had made the males in the room melt as the familiar warmth of Y/n surrounded them. Even Azriel couldn't help the small smile that adorned his features despite the jab to his ribs from his brother.

"I am so sorry for the drop in with no warning, but the timing for our play with the queens seems to be now." Feyre had explained, pulling back to look at her.

"That is more than okay Angel, you're always welcome to come anytime you feel."

From the small amount of explaining and information that Azriel had given to Y/n prior through his visits, the timing of it all had seemed to be the most up in the air. They had enough on their plates and didn’t need another excuse to feel bad about being in her residence for the time being.��

However, despite having the support of the court even now, she did not have enough to plan for when they were gone in a week or so for her stock. Thus, the decision was that she had to go out to the market, and also the forest. She needed to hunt again just so she can tide her stock over and keep her clients that she had built within the market. Plus, Y/n had wanted to make Feyre's favorite from when they were kids, which required a deer.

"Take up the rooms you had last time," Turning to Rhys and Feyre she gave a small smile, "I'll wash everything and change it for you guys when I'm back if that is okay."

"Don't worry about it Ace, is the washing still where it used to be?" the fae girl prompted. Y/n nodded with a smile. "Then I got it, we have to organize our plan here anyway. It'll give us a bit of a break before getting back to work."

"Knock yourselves out then."

After giving a quick hug to Cass, Y/n's eyes settled on Azriel who had taken a couple steps back. Her body gravitated slightly towards him while he brushed the back of his hand against her arm. It gave the human a surge of confidence.

"Welcome back." Y/n had allowed the low tone of her voice to carry a soft undertone which had the spymaster checking to make sure his family wasn't snooping since they had wandered towards their living arrangements.

"I missed you." The softness in his voice made Y/n melt.

"I missed you too."

Grabbing her hunting bow and dagger, she stepped towards the door. Y/n hesitated before opening the door and looked to the stair that led to her old and new friends. As the sun began to set, the obvious specks of light suggested she would not be alone out in those woods. 

"I have to go and grab some things in the market and out..." Y/n trailed off. Azriel had glanced out the window briefly, not able to hide the small flicker of nervousness that showed there. Although Y/n didn't allow herself to let the moment proceed as she broke contact and turned toward the small table that resided near the door. She had taken out the small paper she had picked up some odd weeks ago and one of the pens Az had brought as a small gift. She had been practicing between visits and confidently scribbled the note down.

Out hunting for dinner. Be back soon, stay inside. The town is out.

Deciding that was enough, she strung her cloak over her small frame and headed out the door and towards the tree line, sparing a small glance at the shadow singer on her way out. Admittedly, she hated the forest during this time. There was a false spring that everyone had thought would bring the warm weather to only be hit by one more blow from the mother. With it brought a frigid cold and icy flurries that would no doubt melt by the end of the week. The snow and wind whipped all warmth she had away from her in a matter of minutes and the ever-concerning watchful eye of beasts who long to have her for supper also put her on edge. 

Her body still noticed the absence of her friend that used to go not these little missions together. Although the girl is currently residing back at the house, it still stung for when she would leave. Y/n never really got used to the feeling of loneliness that came with her best friend's freedom. Although it was a selfish thought, she did miss the time they would spend hours together just chatting and getting through this life together. She missed her. 

She was elated to have her back, even to this capacity. She would never stop being thankful for her return.

A cold tear shook her from her thoughts. Shaking her head, she wiped it away and moved on deeper and deeper into the forest. 

Although she pulled the bow closer to her body, she achieved no extra security and for some reason she couldn’t shake the feeling of lurking danger beyond the trees that surrounded her. The wind whipped louder, blocking out the sounds of the forest and any audible cues that would give away a predator or prey. It added to the nerves of it all. It's why nobody should ever have to do this to survive.

As her boots crunched in the snow below her, she allowed her mind to wander as she squatted down into the white below. Here she would stay for an hour or so waiting for a migration or flock to cross her path. Since the snow and wind was so bad however, she highly doubted she could cross many prey, let alone a deer. Predators however were another story entirely, and she was sure she would come across one. Settling down once again, she relaxed the bow and rolled her shoulders, causing the assortment of ash arrows and regular to jumble further. 

Hazel eyes flooded her thoughts as she waited. Specifically of a Fae man with wings that is currently resting within her residence that she had left at the door. One with blue stones and friendly darkness that always wrapped around the nape of her neck, it was almost as alluring as all the riches and security in the world. The night he moved her to the bedroom because he had felt unease about her resting on the couch while she had stupidly trusted a drink, the chance she opened her eyes and smiled at him, and he finally allowed a redness to spread over his face as she had kissed his ear. The late nights they would stay up and read, gentle conversation flowing from the both of them, it was intoxicating. Even more than the drink she is still haunted by.

Without the human girl's knowledge, Feyre had called it, and now Rhys owed her all new paints for her studio. The girl had probably the biggest affinity for the male in such a short time that either of them had seen. Granted it had been about two occurrences that the court had witnessed in person, but the closeness of the two and the flustered avoidance that the shadow singer would insist wasn't happening. It was all so obvious, and the first time that both of them where as readable as a book.

Hearing a snap in the twigs behind her, Y/n's body moved like water as she pulled her bow taught and aimed with a watchful eye to the intruder of her space. Loaded in the string was an ash arrow, until her eyes met with the very hazel she was just dreaming about. 

“It’s just me.” Azriel said with his hands raised, eyeing the tip of the arrowhead. Y/n sighed and lowered the weapon giving a small smile to him. Even with the weather around the two, the male didn’t look even the slightest cold. Sensing the small displeasure of the stare at her arrow she stepped closer and rubbed the back of her neck. 

“Ever since Feyre was almost killed and then taken by a Fae man, I’ve carried these. You never know out here, and I had a feeling if it were to happen again, I wouldn’t be so lucky.” She explained and he nodded slightly. The image of her suffering the same as his High Lady was nauseating but was worse as he knew she in fact wouldn’t be as lucky and most likely killed if she were to run into another enemy Fae. "I had it before meeting you all."

She had attempted to reason, hoping that he wouldn't take offense to her carrying the very thing that could kill him and his family.

Her nerves settled though when he nodded at her and offered a small smile to assure her there were no hard feelings.

“Why are you out anyway? I left a note; the town is out today, and I don’t want you all to get caught.” She poked before sending him a small smile as his shadows seemed to envelop her hands to try and keep them warm. The silken texture felt nice against her digits, as she brought them up to give a slight breath to hopefully add some warmth.

“I was worried.” It was simple and curt but the meaning behind it made flurries and warmth spread through Y/n's whole being. So much so, she felt as if she almost didn’t need the jacket. 

“Oh,” She paused and looked into his eyes again as she hesitantly stepped closer, feeling a heat radiating from the larger male form. It had been a since the drinking incident that they were so close together. Thinking back to that night, Y/n allowed herself to giggle.

“You aren’t even feeling the cold are you.” It was more a statement than a question, and it made Azriel let out a smile and sigh. 

“No. Perks of being an Illyrian I guess.” Y/n shook her head as she took another step into his warmth, allowing herself to fully engulf the memory of that night. He hadn’t stepped back or retreated from her body, so she took this as a chance to not only warm up slightly but also test the waters more openly, without alcohol. His eyes seemed to study her movements as his shadows still swarmed her hands, the curve of her body under the layers of cloth, the way her hair gently blew despite the howling wind, the way the snow reflected off her eyes. Even for a Fae she would be considered ethereal. 

Snap 

Before Azriel could even flinch and his mind could come back from the thoughts of the woman in front of him, Y/n had placed herself around his side with an arrow taught. 

A yell erupted from whoever broke their peaceful encounter as Y/n let the arrow fly. She registered the Faebane soaked sword before the male behind her could and the throwing knife that he let in the direction of the shadow singer. 

The arrow hit before Azriel processed what happened, and the man’s body hit the snow staining it with the familiar crimson. His eyes hardened at the sword that fell into the snow and the rage that permanently covered his face, he also noted the ash arrow that Y/n had buried in his chest with great pride. She was lethal, her abilities honed by pure survival and instinct. Even he was impressed by her response to danger. A pride that would soon turn to panic when the girl he became infatuated with turned towards him. 

“I understand why the inside part was necessary-” He began but shortly cut himself off when his shadows screamed, and his eyes found that very crimson on Y/n. “Shit.” He began. 

Y/n felt the dagger hit; she also knew that if she didn't put herself there it would've stuck the male behind her in the middle of his chest (although she highly doubted it landing as his shadows had coiled around himself without his realization she guessed). Luckily, she knew it didn’t hit anything too vital as it embedded into her shoulder, but it would leave one hell of a scar and at least a month of no hunting for her meals and trades.

“We need to go home.” She ground out. Azriel nodded quickly before scooping the smaller girl into his arms. 

“You know, when I imagined of your size in my arms, I did not have this scenario in mind.” He attempted to joke, but when it landed and Y/n wheezed, it was painful. He cursed again and quickly melted into the shadows to get home.

“You think about that?” Y/n wheezed out. Allowing a small tense chuckle to escape him, he took in the now significantly paler girl.

"More times than I care to admit."

Coming to the familiar door, he rushed inside whilst the few of his family talked over some food and a fire. His sudden appearance had startled the group, and it took Rhys to speak up about the startled and shaken look on his shadow master’s face. 

“Help her.” Such small words and yet the whole of the building into a frenzy. Launching up from the couch, Feyre cursed at the girl as she willed her magic into her smaller body to try and help heal her.

"What the hell happened?!" She exclaimed upon seeing the wound not close as she was intending. Unbeknownst to the group, Feyre had never seen her friend with this much blood on her. Sure, they had skinned and butchered game when they had got it, but it was never hers.

Feyre hated the sight.

Everyone did.

But none more than the male who had carried her back.

Cassian attempted to find any gauze and ointment that could take the edge off of her pain upon Feyre's directions to the cabinet, even if it was a slight improvement. The way the girl forced back her writhe of discomfort was not a welcome sight. Even Rhysand was with his mate tried to aid in the healing but to no avail, much to their shared displeasure. Azriel was on the other hand by Y/n’s face, watching to see any change and trying to comfort the small girl. 

“I’m not dead, just dying if you don’t get this thing out of me and stop the bleeding.” She bargained trying to sit up wincing as she went, but the High Lady of the house pushed her back down. 

“No, we are fixing this. Stay still. Please” Azriel grasped her hand trying to will his own agenda of her staying down and letting them heal her. He knew she would be fine. The wound wasn't fatal in the slightest and hadn't hit anything that would be a long-term issue.

The sight of this female, this human woman bleeding on a table with a throwing knife that was meant for him through his brain into a spiral. The nudge in his chest had begun to feel like the knife had hit him, not her.

“It won’t work.” She coughed. Everyone stopped to look at her as Cassian began unloading the things he found. “It was meant for Az, it’s coated in faebane and ash. Magic won’t work.” 

Scarred hands had grabbed hers, tight and almost pleading. A realization settled over Azriel as he held her steady. A realization that he didn't know what to do with, nor did he ever think would happen.

Almost if he sensed it too Rhys snapped his eyes to Azriel.

Rhysand looked to Azriel’s eyes for confirmation, he nodded and went back to holding her close, unable to think of doing anything else.

It was going to be a long month for Y/n.

Hope you all enjoyed! I got a bit carried away with everything.

Tag list: @rcarbo1 @cherryinsalemverse @kabekusa @hellohauntedturnstudent @optimisticbabydreamer @historygeekqueen @whhyyynottt @love-over-fears @alainabooks143 @ariaaira @snoopyspace @moonlwghts @meritxellao @paintedbyshadows @tiredsleepyhead @annaaaaa88 @willowpains @annamariereads16 @the-onlyy-angie @bbontenswhhore @rahdaleigh @casiiopea2 @littlemissfix-itfic

[amoreva]

FEIGNING FOR YA

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CHAPTER 4.5

pairing: luke castellan x fem!reader

summary: experiencing your new found freedom with luke and co (why does he smile at you like that?)

warnings: not proofread! slow burn, college au, smau, fake dating to dating, cursing, aged up! pjo charcters, parental expectations

a/n: so guess who lied about being back…do you guys forgive me?

series list | next

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yn.ln

♫ Her’s - Harvey

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yn.ln 🪽

tagged clarisselarue, chris.rod, silenabeau, lukecastellan

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chris.rod Top five best days 💪😩

seaweedbrain no invite?

yn.ln no<3 seaweedbrain fake. yn.ln big kids only 🤷‍♀️ seaweedbrain I AM A BIG KID lukecastellan says the twelve year old seaweedbrain kys.

clarisselarue GOODMORNING GORGEOUS

shelleythompson you should be studying.

*this comment had been deleted by the creator

travisstoll 📍?

chris.rod gatekeeping 😝😝 yn.ln southern okapi forest chris.rod bro…

lukecastellan my girl<3

lukecastellan marry me

lukecastellan please

lukecastellan one chance

thaliagrace too much 🤢 seaweedbrain ^^^ lukecastellan YOU ARE FHE EXACT SAME WAY WITH ANNIE seaweedbrain 🧏‍♀️🔇

clarisselarue posted a story!

silenabeau

Antique Alley • ♫ Hozier - Would That I

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silenabeau thrifting w/ clarisselarue

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user49 LOCATION??? 🙏🙏

user29 under the username 😀

user51 lit love that place

drewtanaka me, you, clarisse there, next friday?

silenabeau yes!!

clarisselarue ❤️

user3 old photos are so creepy, like wym that was a real person

user78 WAH WAH WAH cope

lukecastellan yn.ln, let’s go next time 🙏

silenabeau posted a story!

lukecastellan posted a story!

၊||၊ Malcolm Todd - Chest Pain

seaweedbrain posted a story!

seaweedbrain posted a story!

chris.rod

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chris.rod lately>>

tagged clarisselarue, silenabeau, lukecastellan, yn.ln

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lukecastellan MY GOAT posted 😩🙏

chris.rod anything for you bbg 😏 yn.ln let’s not 😚 chris.rod HE WAS MINE FIRST chris.rod homewrecker 💔💔 chris.rod tashi duncan, who? yn.ln well he’s mine now 🖕 user58 chris.rod lukecastellan who’s art and who’s patrick? 🤔

user25 wish I had friends like this

user123 I’D EAT A HORSE IF I COULD DO THSI INSTEAD OF STUDYINH

clarisselarue ❤️

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taglist:

@happy-mushrooms @m00ng4z3r @justanotherkpopstanlol @2hiigh2cry @celluifleur @yuminako @pookiebear16 @mxtokko @cxcillia @kai-islost @kidkrowk @iluvpjo @sofiacblair @cherryynovaa @dracoslovergirl @lalloronaisreal @jennapancake @urbanflorals @sweetstime @cherr-y-eji @thatbird-fromrio @itzlilywelch @annispamz @unseriousgirl @hanankhan8

[11queensupreme11]

Hi again queen! Ive come bearing gifts 🤲😊

Since we're coming to a close with act 1, I felt it would only be appropriate to draw some memes again to celebrate 🎉 I started drawing all of these a few weeks ago but school + my gachas have been pounding my accs with all the banners so....yeah, here🗣️🔥

Also, I will soon be sending you drawn memes for each yan too + a baldur one (because for some reason i really cant get their ship out my head lol idk if im projecting my HC but i think he wouldve ADORED her  – what would their ship name even be? balcy 😭??? (cuz it wouldve been pretty fucking ballsy of them to get into a relationship knowing Loki is there to do…Loki things, LMAO). I will send 4 of the yan drawings um later and if not later, then tomorrow or the day after! Then the rest will be sent a day or an hour after those. I just need to finish some things before sending them out

(tbh it wouldve been better to drop it at the end of act 1 but school has been horrendous lately so im not taking my chances 😭 better early than late)

++ read the new chapter too – QUEEN I AM SO SCARED 😭 when you first introduced anubis i thought he was super cute!!....then you dropped this chapter, and now im worried 😭???? Wym by others??? Wym screaimg for him to stay away or trying to escape??? HES CREEPING ME OUT AND WE WERE JUST DONE WITH UNCY HADES, like this went from sweet to…extremely unnerving 😭 BRING US BACK DADDYSEIDON I MISS HIM, HOW IS HE RN?? IS HE ABSOLUTELY LOSING HIS MIND LMAOOO

+++ saw that comment about Ra - i am foaming for a tsundere grandpa PLEASE

Also, welcome back! I wish you all the best w your exam results!

YEAH WE'RE GONNA HAVE A TSUNDERE/YANDERE GREAT GREAT GRANDPA-IN-LAW RA 😂😂😂😂😂😂 i'm gonna enjoy this so much, it's gonna be like the ares and percy beef except ra's not a fucking dumbass 😭

thank you for the drawn memes 🥺💖💖💖 i actually recognize some of these lmao thank you 💖 the beelcy one is very accurate considering beelzebub 1000000% stalks her socials lol

AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE OTHER FANARTS/MEMES!!!!! I WILL WAIT PATIENTLY OR AT LEAST TRY TOO LOL

(also omg you drew cú chulainn with his doggy 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺)

[diorsluv]

feather , part 17

“ like whatever, you’re a waste of time ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

jackhughes

liked by _quinnhughes, yourusername, markestapa, and 83,048 others

jackhughes ok guys let’s balance things out 🙏

tagged: yourusername, _quinnhughes

view all comments

yourusername EWW u said u weren’t gonna post that blurry pic of me 😰

yourusername um but also the caption?? wym 😭

→ jackhughes don’t worry abt it

→ _quinnhughes it doesn’t mean anything dw

→ trevorzegras jack wants a little peace in his life that’s all

→ colecaufield he’s mr miyagi

_quinnhughes the shopping cart was kind of uncomfortable

→ yourusername awww r u a little butthurt

→ _quinnhughes actually yes my butt does hurt 🤬🤬

trevorzegras isn’t that lake pic like really old

→ jackhughes yes

→ yourusername he has the chance to use it now bc he never posts me 🙄

rutgermcgroarty i’m scared another war’s gonna happen and i’m hiding out in your comments

→ jackhughes ur safe here bro dont worry 🫡🫡

→ markestapa me too

→ luca.fantilli i’ll protect you 😘

→ yourusername oh god should i be scared too

→ rutgermcgroarty you ARE the war yourusername

→ mackie.samo dude you weren’t supposed to tell her that

_alexturcotte i miss the lakehouse days let’s do it again

→ jackhughes well its definitely not gonna be the same as it was before

→ _alexturcotte dammit ur right

→ yourusername what why? am i the only clueless one here

adamfantilli i take it lil drizzy hasn’t seen it yet

→ edwards.73 BRO

→ markestapa DELETE THIS RN

→ yourusername seen what?????

→ dylanduke25 it’s too late now theres no point in deleting 😔

username26 NONONO GUYS WE HAVE TO KEEP HER FROM SEEING IT

username10 another war is brewing

username6 it’s the end y’all

username59 okay but like why should she care if she’s in a relationship

username70 well it was nice knowing all of you

username35 lord you’re all so dramatic SHE HAS A BF so it shouldn’t matter

missseraphina

liked by lhughes_06 and 1,001 others

missseraphina we messin around or nah? 💘

view all comments

username3 yall this is kind of embarrassing!

username85 LMFAOOOOO

username23 i swear to god this is luke hughes

→ username74 who?

→ username59 i mean he did like the post

username14 oh. my. god. is this why all the guys were panicking on jack’s post???

username32 aw i’m happy you found someone!!

→ missseraphina not official yet haha

username50 so… dryshughes is never happening is it

→ username61 the ship has officially sunken 😔

lhughes_06 maybe

liked by missseraphina

→ username75 NOOOO

username97 this is it yall. i cant live knowing theyre both in separate relationships.

→ username46 BUT HOLD ON NOW, HERS IS FALLING APART AND HIS ISN’T EVEN OFFICIAL YET

→ username17 uhh who r we talking about lmao

yourusername oh

this comment has been deleted

next chapter notes ) how are we doing yall.. ik ik it’s chaotic and shit BUT YOU’LL GET WHAT YOU CAME HERE FOR SOONNN and yall kept complaining abt bookmark but yall should really b complaining abt misssera whats her name HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONEEE (i originally didn’t plan to post this on jan 1 but it is what it is 🫣), sorry for starting the new year off with even more drama lmfaooo

tags: @aliaology @hockeyboysarehot @absolutelyhugh3s @jackquinnswife @freds-slut @love4ldr

[graciegoeskrazy]

i can stage a situation

warnings: r has an eating disorder, although it's not defined the symptoms are very similar to anorexia, yelling, lying, idk its lowk rough, i think i hate this? but i dont?

a/n: I have not a single clue who requested this but someone did so0ooooo THANKS ANON❣️❣️❣️

V IMPORTANT NOTE: I am by no means trying to romanticize or promote ed’s or anything of the sort. I’ve been a dancer for 16 years training in many styles, and I have seen firsthand how things like this can hurt people and those around them, but even then I will not claim to know every single thing possible about this subject - because I don’t. However, I did try my best and did research to try and write the best story I could without dishonoring the real-life issues people have to go through. All my love goes out to those going through this. <3

Your dad said he had a late night ahead of him. Something about recording with John or whatever, you didnt really listen. The point was he was going to be gone on a trip for the night, leaving Friday afternoon and returning Saturday morning. He would leave before you got home on Friday so, when Thursday rolled around and you decided you didn't want to spend your Friday night moping around by yourself, you called up your uncle Matty to see if you could spend the night. He, of course, with you being his favorite person, said yes. You told him to pick you up around 6 that night and to be prepared for a movie night.

You just weren't interested in eating. You couldn't exactly pinpoint the reason why. If you thought about it long and hard enough, you could probably figure it out, but thinking about it too much only seemed to make things worse.

When you got in the car the next day, Matty offered to cook you something, you said you weren't hungry and that your Dad fed you before he left. Both of those things were lies.

…

“I’m Home!”

“I’m in here.” You said, letting your voice guide him to the living room. You were scrolling on your phone while something was playing on the TV. He dropped his carry-on and case onto the couch and immediately went to you. Hugging you from behind and dramatically placing kisses all over your forehead and face. You squirmed out of his grasp and he smiled and came around to the other side of the couch to sit next to you. “I’m so sorry I’m late.” He said.

You smiled at him again.“It’s fine, Dad. Really. You don’t have to worry.”

He smiled back before changing the subject, knowing you weren't too worried about his tardiness. “How was your uncle’s?”

You shrugged. “Fine. We just watched a movie and hung out. It was fun.”

“Yeah? What did you have for dinner?”

You thought for a second, caught off guard by the question. “Spaghetti.” You finally said, remembering what Matty cooked for dinner white you sat on the other side of the counter.

Ross hummed. “Really? Was it good?”

“Delicious.” You said with a smile.

“Hm.” He knew you were lying - he knows you too well - but decided to not address it for now. “If it's your uncle’s-cooking then I beg to differ,” he said, getting up from the couch.

You can’t keep a secret from Ross. He can see through everyone, especially you, his daughter for crying out loud. Ross always had suspicions about your diet. He was the one who fed you of course, but he noticed the way you played around with your food during dinner. He also noticed how you always skipped breakfast and how you were always so tired and your energy was so low when you came home from school. He could see right through you when you told him about your endeavor at Matty’s, but he wanted to see for himself.

Ross | Did she eat at your house?

Matty | Wym?

Ross | Y/n. Did she eat when she was at your house?

Matty | No? She said she ate before she came. Y?

Ross | Did she snack on anything?

Matty | No? Not that I saw? What’s going on?

Ross | Nothing. Just wondering.

He sighed and marched up the stairs.

…

His main emotion was anger, but he couldn't tell why. Maybe because you lied to him, or maybe because he thought his baby girl was in danger and couldn't stand the thought of you being in pain. Truthfully, he was angry at himself. It started to become clear thatEither way, he tried to collect himself as he walked upstairs, sighing and shaking his head as he reached your bedroom door. He knocked.

“Come in.” You said.

He opened the door and leaned against the doorframe. You both watched each other for a second, waiting for the other to make a move first. You broke first and laughed. “You just gonna watch me like a creep?”

He walked into your room and sat on the foot of your bed. “Baby, I'm gonna ask you a question and I want you to be honest.”

Your demeanor changed along with his. You could tell this was about something serious but you didn’t know what. And never in a million years did you think he would see this clearly though you.

“Okay?” You said, clearly confused.

He took a breath before answering. “Did you eat dinner last night?”

It took you back. Your thoughts from earlier flooded your brain with the realization you were right…he is onto you. “Ye-yeah…at Matty’s house…”

He sighed. “I don’t like it when you lie, y/n.”

You let out a dry chuckle. “I’m not lying-“

His face remained serious despite your best efforts to keep it light. “Yes, you are. And you just did it again.” You gulped. He knew. “And you didn’t eat breakfast this morning ethier.”

You took a moment to think but came up with nothing. “I was full from dinner.”

“But you didn’t eat dinner.” He answered sharply.

“Of course I ate dinner! Why would I not eat?”

“Because I texted your uncle and asked if you ate or not and he said ‘no’! In fact, he said that I fed you before you left, which I know for a fact I did not.” You had nothing to say after that. There was no use in fighting. He knew everything you’ve been up to and there was no saving you. The room stayed quiet. Ross sighed and slowly opened up. “So, I'm going to ask you again, did you eat dinner at Matty’s last night?”

You hesitantly look him in the eyes. “…No.” You whispered.

Ross continued. “And did you eat breakfast this morning?”

“No.”

“Did you eat at school at all in the past week?”

“No.” A tear fell as you spoke.

“When was the last time you ate something?”

You shrugged slightly. “I don’t know?”

Ross nodded, trying to remain calm, and stood to sit back down closer to you. “Why?” He asked

“I don’t know-”

“Y/n…”

"I don’t know! I don’t!" you burst out, the words tumbling from your lips in a rush. "I just... everything feels off... and I just don’t feel like... eating."

Ross's eyes widen, a mix of concern and desperation. His mind went to the first things he could think of. "Is it because of school? A-are people... pressuring you into this or something? I-"

"Of course not. I’m not that naive," you cut him off, glaring at him, the frustration in your voice evident.

"I never said you were." He takes a step closer, his voice softening. "Where did this start, baby? I need you to tell me." His eyes search yours, pleading. "You’re hurting yourself, Y/N. How could you do this to yourself? I mean... you’re the kind of kid people dream of raising-"

"No, I’m not," you snap back, your voice trembling.

"Yes, you are."

"No, I’m not!" Your voice hit a volume Ross hadn’t heard in a while. "I’m a clueless, lonely, boring 13-year-old who was the product of a one-night stand, trying to figure out what to do with her life."

Ross's face pales, the impact of your words hitting him like a physical blow. "Is that what this is about? Baby, is this about Mom?"

"It doesn't matter-" you begin, rolling your eyes, but he interrupts you, his voice rising.

"Uh, it actually matters more than anything else on the planet right now. My baby girl is hurting. Not only that, but she’s hurting herself, and I will be damned if I just let something like this go."

You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "She was trying to make her life perfect... And so I thought... she’s trying to make her life perfect and I’m already doing this so what’s the harm if I keep going. I wanted to be perfect for her."

Ross’s eyes fill with tears. "You’re already perfect-"

"Will you cut the crap! I’m not! And you don’t understand it!" You feel the tears welling up, but you blink them back, refusing to let them fall.

"You’re right, I don’t understand it." His voice breaks. "I don't understand how you can continuously, for months and months on end, hurt yourself when you are already the definition of perfection to me-"

"Well, I’m not that to Mom. Do you think I would be doing this if she thought that? Do you think I would put myself through this if she thought I was the ‘definition of perfection’?"

"You are the prettiest girl I have ever laid my eyes on-"

"You’re just saying that-"

"No. I’m not." You look away, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak.

Ross sighed. "Why did you never tell me?"

"Because you wouldn’t understand, Dad- you don’t understand."

He reaches out, his hands trembling as they rest on your shoulder. "I can try."

"It’s not that easy," you whisper, your voice barely audible, tears at a level 10.

Ross nods, his grip on your shoulder tightening slightly. "We need to get you help, Y/N."

"I know." Your voice is small, but in that moment, you realize it’s the first step towards healing.

[the-tarot-witch22]

Hi, boo kinda little late with my feedback so I really apologise for that! And before i began with the feedback i want to say that I am very greatful to you for everything, thankyou for allowing me to participate and also those 3 songs and message?? You didn't had too ahh. But I'm indeed very greatful. Also I'm glad that it somewhat resonated because I was hearing "reassurance" again and again so I was like i feel like i need to reach mention this and what i felt was too that you needed some reassurance so I was like okay!! It definitely looked like he was tryna say I'm coming baby don't worry things will be okay wait for me. Don't worry at all-

Now coming to my feedback; Okay the sun card?? I mean getting this card even Intuitively is such a huge deal because damn. Also the messages for so assuring because indeed i do get very anxious sometimes and also definitely it indeed was a sign for me ngl. Also the take it easy damn i definitely need too-

Okay so the first song; 1. Car's outside-by James Arthur. Well i absolutely love this song and the fact I've this in my playlist too, the song definitely makes me feel sm emotions and longing idk how to explain. Like damn-Indeed this song has some personal emotions attached so ahh...!!!!!

*It's even more emotional now*

2. Double Take-by Dhruv. Okay so yk what's funny?? Like just a day before or two I saw the lyrics on this song suddenly popped out in my for u page, that have a 18+ thing and the fact most of us definately took those lyrics as something else due to it's sounding something else even after having this in our playlist and it being so popular at a point. And that part was popping in my feed again and again lmao. Like damn also the lyrics they are so cute and so like my pookie baby. Like do you feel the love?? Absolutely babe I do.

3. Just the way you are-by Bruno Mars. I heard this song for the first time i guess & Okay well okay hold up this had me in tears because...!! The lyrics. The fact I was feeling a little more insecure about my looks from a few days and he came up with this...like I've always been insecure and now whenever I do I'm gonna be reminded about this song and feel sm better..like i always was. (Okay i absolutely love this hooman and the hooman who chanelled the songs for me, so you know you both are so precious right!?? And i love you)

The fact each one of these songs seems so connected together and have something about eyes...like i love mine now lmao.

Okay well overall the messages and songs RESONATES with my situations and feelings it was like I definitely needed to hear them. And the fact the songs felt sm emotional and Beautiful, I'm literally very greatful and blessed. Thankyou once again for doing this for me hun, you are amazing>33 sending you sm move and good energy and I love you. 🫶🏻🤍🫂🧿

Hi love! Dw, always take your time my baby! And ofc! I was kept seeing and hearing those songs so I was like you need to hear that! Yeah it really was resonating and I am deeply grateful that you gave me those messages! And the songs were resonating too! I am glad I miss him, and it really felt like a hug, he is such a adorable man.

Thank you so much , I am glad you liked the messages I was kind of worried, but I am glad it gave you reassurance! And definitely "take it easy" was so many times.

1. Ikr, when I listened to those song for you, I was being emotional too, so ik wym, there definitely is longing between you and him ! I love that, I am also glad you liked the channeled song

2. Fr, it's 18+ and yet the lyrics are sweet, he was like let me give this to my baby

3. And you are my fav hooman too! (My baby - you) I knew he was very pick with songs but gave me the best for you, it's so sweet, I love to give things to you from your fs! I am honored to do so!

Thank you so much again too for participating! And trusting your energy with me, sending love to you as well my baby, take care! ❤️

[stateswscarlet]

Good morning Scarlet, I hope that you're doing amazing!

First of all, I wanted to thank you for all the amount of time you put in explaining the law to all of us and seeing all those success stories, we all know how good of a blessing you are in our life.

So, I've been working on manifesting my ex back for a few months now, more than a year actually, and it's kinda embarrassing to me. I'm naturally a visualizer and have inner convos, but when envisioning scenarios like us hugging, holding hands, and being together again (what I've always done before knowing the law and being in love with him) it feels too good to be true, even if I have a deep understanding of the law conceptually. I know part of this process involves letting go of attachment to the 3D and recognizing that my outer feelings (anxiety, fear) and thoughts (how will he change his mind, he doesn't love u anymore) don't define my true self (the inner man that is being happy and in a rs with him). However, despite this understanding, I still encounter challenges when I attempt to engage my imagination regarding these scenarios. I often feel unfulfilled or disconnected from the vision of us being together.

Furthermore, I've been feeling doubtful about all that lately. Different sources offer conflicting advice - some suggest focusing on feelings, while others emphasize decision-making. I've even studied materials from authors like Edward and watched Tom Kearin (BSW), and while I understand the concepts intellectually and have applied them before with success, I haven't seen significant movement. The only time I experienced progress was when I wholeheartedly believed in my ex's return, even if I wasn't necessarily thinking from the end (focusing on the 3D aka he is going to come back). However, now, as I try to embody the version of myself with him already, I'm starting to lose faith in the possibility of him changing his mind and coming back. Have you ever experienced a similar struggle or doubt in your manifestation journey?

I feel maybe my issue is linked to the "feeling" that I do not understand, do you have maybe some recommandations in terms of source, or YouTube channel or else ? I feel like I'll never succeed in this specific manifestation while I succeeded in others for instance my job and travels... it was so hard for me too bc for more than a year I was jobless and so focused on that, that one day I decided I am going to get a job no matter what and not thinking from the end and it happened while I didn't focused on how I felt, I wasn't like "I need to feel I'm already employed", so I am lost in all of that ..

thank you so much for the kind words!

“working on manifesting my ex back” im really hoping you only worded it like this for simplicity sake to tell me, but please stop identifying with manifesting (at all) or seeing anything as a process bc there is NO PROCESS. there is no work to be, no point A or point B, and no one is coming “back”.

the reason you feel disconnected is because you’re still dominantly believing the 3D as a fact/seeing it as unchanging/dont understand youre SHIFTING TO A DIFFERENT REALITY/STATE and not changing the current one. figure out which one. in other words, youre being accidentally 3D oriented.

“i havent seen much movement” excuse me? wym movement? eradicate that word from your loa vocabulary please theres no such thing as movement. do you HAVE IT OR NOT?

stop looking for more material. no coach or video or book can change how you feel internally if youre just looking for results and refuse to completely drop the outer man and their reasoning.

your sp isnt changing his mind, you SHIFT TO A STATE where you and them are together. the one in the current 3D is NOT the one youre in a relationship with nor will ever be, you have to fully drop that version of him.

if just deciding you have something fulfills you, then so be it. do whatever you enjoy.

[pumpkinsy0]

hcs for ponyboy experiencing a lot of dread and worry leading up to his birthday because he's not ready to be older and is feeling some pressure of having to start living his life? i could see this happening on his 15th after everything that happened with johnny and dally (since he kind of stopped living for a bit after that) but any birthday is good! (this is totally not related to the fact that my birthday is in a few days and im feeling a bit of pressure to make sure this year is going to be filled with all the teenage experiences ive missed so far in my life whoopsies)

understandable reaction from both u and pony honestly, but i truly do hope u have a good bday!! u deserve it, but dont rush life!!! the beauty of it is that its different for everyone, thats y we arent all a hive mind!!!!plus, theres no age limit to things u can do<333

• I TOTALLY SEE WYM HERE AND I AGREE IVE ALWAYS THOUGHT THE SAME!!! howeeevverrrrrr i must say that instead of his 15th bday, these r the emotions he would more so feel when hes in his late teens!! like 17-19ish, im leaning more towards 19 however bc johnny was 16 when he died, on ponys 17th bday, he could also feel this way

•i say 19 bc hes gonna b turning 20, the same age as darry was when all that bs happened, and he’d compare himself to darry a shit ton, he’ll kinda see himself as a failure if he cant push himself the way darry did

•while he feels like he has to start his life, he feels like he also missed out on a good portion of it BC of what happened, he feels like he missed out on his teens bc he didnt fully heal from what happened and instead grew up wayyy faster than he shouldve

•ONNNN TOPPPP OF ALL THAT, he feels like he has to live for johnny, dally???? ehhhhhhhh w all due respect, to a bit of a lesser extent

•ik hes haunted by that whole “stay gold” thing too, “how am i supposed to grow up and cope w this in a few days and stay true to myself while doing so” type deal”

•two and sodas jokes about him getting older make him sick to his god damn STOMACCCHHHH, darrys seen pony laugh and then quickly have the look of a soldier back from war and he knows that look bc he has it every damn birthday😭

•darry knows EXACTLY how ponys feeling and hes not the best w emotions so he tries helping how he can, and unfortunately for pony, this means having a talk w darry which is soooo awkward, but it makes him feel less alone

•i could definitely see pony accidentally (age????) regressing, maybe he doesnt notice it at first, but the gang sure do, he starts doing things he hasn’t done in literal years and its bc to him, its simple!!! as soon as he realizes he beats himself up for it and thinks its SO stupid and pushes ts to the farthest part of his brain

•pony doesnt want a huge celebration, so it doesnt feel AS in his face, but i dont think he would fully voice this as a WANT, more like a suggestion, which to b fair, the gang isnt going ALLL out but its still not as lowkey pony would like, however he appreciated them taking it down a few pegs

•on his birthday, funnily enough, i dont think he’d feel that emotional, hes just thinking “hm,,,”

[starryylies]

Hiii omg !! I love your writing smsm !! The way you write is so real and similar to the way that I do and I get way too self conscious to post so I made a blog separate from my old one for hopefully publishing stories !! Smut usually makes me uncomfortable but yours feels like it's happening between real people if that makes sense. Like some people write their stories and it never feels like people really say those things but I love your writing sm- 🫀

OMG HELLO!!! I’m so so so so so sorry for replying late, the last few days are hectic cuz of exams ahh my f the result showing :(

And like I think this is one of the best compliments I’ve received regarding my works. I often felt like I was pushing it or smtn cuz I don’t really have ‘experience’ like I’ve only fantasised or thought about it. so I always thought I was fucking up but this is one of the best thing ever, thank you so much

And I get wym when I read about Nsfw stuff I always feel uneasy, not because it’s badly written it’s because it seems so perfect.

From what I’ve learned from others regarding their real life experiences is that sex is not perfect apparently it’s very goofy many times cuz half the time you kinda fuck up but they say it’s ok.

Plus I guess I’ve always felt lacking or have insecurities regarding my body/looks so I try my best to insert the embarrassment/insecurity in my fics accompanied w/ praise. (It’s very self indulgent tbh)

And also I get it, even I get really self conscious like whenever i post all I can think of is how many likes or how many people will like it and all but I still do it anyways even if I think my post will not do well I still post cuz like if I won’t try I won’t know. And after I post I try (try: keyword) to keep my phone away so I don’t constantly check the amount of likes. This helps me I hope it can help u too but If it doesn’t it’s ok!! My chats are always open

So yea sorry for ranting but thank u so much and if anyone has smut suggestions pls do send. And like again thank you so much my day wasn’t that good hearing this made me feel so much better, you really don’t know how thankful I am to all of you guys who like my work.

THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU GUYS AS WELL

And thank you I hope you have an awesome day 🩷

[seiya-starsniper]

HI WYM IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY???? AHHHHH I DIDN'T KNOW

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRIEND!!!! I hope you had a wonderful day and that you got to celebrate in whatever way you wanted to!! Sending big BIG hugs 💜💜💜💜

HELLO FRIEND YOU'RE NOT LATE DON'T WORRY IT JUST STARTED 💖💖💖 And I am spending it nice and warm home cuddled up with my cats and bottle of wine ehehehehehe

[chuuniversal]

chuu — my dearest !!! i am wishing you a happy birthday today !!!! full of the most wonderful things that you deserve :] your favorite cake !! your favorite foods — your favorite everything !!! wishing for zayne to wrap you up in a huge hug and take you to the most beautiful places on earth !! WISHING FOR . ALL THINGS GOOD FOR YOU CHUU !!!! you are the cutest ever ( when we first became moots, i had wanted to tell you that i love saying ‘chuu!’ because it is just the cutest pseud ever but alas i got a bit nervous lol !! so now i will tell you that little secret of mine /lh ) though such a cute pseud is perfect for someone like you, because i think *you* have the most endearing personality ever !! how my day is instantly brighter whenever i see your url 🥺 as i’m sure is the case for many !!! we could call it the chuuffect ( chuu effect … ) heh ^^ i love you lots !!! i hope you have a wonderful day :] i had forgotten about differing time zones once again, so i will be a little late in your time zone and a little early in mine i think !! my apologies T T !!!!

IM DEFINITELY NOT CRYING WYM!?!? THIS WAS SO SO SWEET EVIE THANK YOU SM 🥺 you’re such a sweet heart man i really appreciate you! and pls don’t worry about time zones it’s all good bby 💗💗💗 XOXO ILYSM!!!!

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

i don’t think I ever outgrew the little kid ‘I’m not tired!’ [promptly falls asleep] thing

i literally just said ‘I know I need to go to sleep now for work tomorrow but I’m not at all tired’ and then proceeded to start swaying, from tiredness, trying not to fall asleep standing upright

the evidence would suggest, i am very tired. good night then

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1015: Morning Texting (King of Fighters)

Shingo: Morning, Leona-san! 😄

Leona: Shingo-Kun.

Leona: I hope your morning is going well so far.

Shingo: It is!

Shingo: I'm finally off today, but I haven't really thought about what to do yet

Shingo: Well, actually, I did thought about going to beach later, but given how we're already halfway close to summer being over, there's no doubt the place is crowded already lol

Leona: I see.

Leona: But question.

Shingo: ?

Leona: What does the word....."lol" mean exactly?

Leona: I've seen and heard it a few times in the past that I made me a bit curious of it's meaning for a short while.

Shingo: Oh. Well, I wouldn't exactly call it an actual word for starters. It's more like a slang if anything

Leona: Slang?

Shingo: Yep. At least when you're texting someone.

Shingo: See, Lol is short for "Laugh Out Loud". It's like how wym is short for "What You Mean" and so on

Leona: I see.

Leona: So basically, it's a shortcut to keep phone users from making a sentence or two.

Shingo: Something like that lol

Shingo: I could show you s few more examples if you want.

Leona: No thank you. I'll pass.

Leona: Though, I am curious to know more about that smiley face you typed out.

Shingo: Smiley Face?

Shingo: You mean this 😄

Leona: Yes, that

Leona: It looks cute.

Shingo: I agree!

Shingo: But this, my cool, silent friend, is what we call an emoji

Shingo: They're little facial pictograms you can type out to express how feel or just for the fun of it

Leona: Is that so?

Leona: And where do you get them exactly?

Shingo: You see the keyboard you're using on your phone right now?

Shingo: If you press the backwards sign on the top of it, you'll see a smiley face on the left.

Leona: I've found and pressed on the smiley face you mentioned

Leona: There's so many of them to choose from.

Shingo: Nice!

Shingo: Which one of these would u say it's your favorite?

Leona: 🐱🐱🐱🐱

Shingo: Ooh! Kitty emojis!

Shingo: Cute for text messages and as pets

Shingo: Don't tell Antoine I said any of that, he will always be #1

.........................................................................

Leona giggles lightly at the recent message as she begins to text Shingo back.

.......................................................................

Leona: Your secret is safe with me, Shingo-Kun

Leona: Don't worry lol 😉

Shingo: Well, would you look at that?

Shingo: You're getting the hang of this already! I'm so proud

Leona: Lol thank you~

Leona: I've hardly if ever texted anyone before. So it's nice to know more about it functionalities.

Leona: Have you thought of what to do for the day yet?

Shingo: Nope. My mind's still on blink

Shingo: But I have thought about a new technique to write down on my notebook

Leona: I see.

Leona: Well, I'm free for today as well. We could spend the day with one another if you like.

Shingo: Sure! I'm up for it!

Shingo: Got any plans for the two of us?

Leona: I was thinking we could walk, maybe even jog around town for a while. Then after that, we could head over to the training base to do a few sparring matches.

Shingo: Cool!

Shingo: But uh....r u sure you want me as a sparring partner?

Shingo: There's no way I could keep up with u speed wise

Leona: Perhaps.....

Leona: But you seem to be improving greatly in your combat skills as of late.

Shingo: U really think so?

Leona: I believe so, yes.

Leona: While you lack in speed and agility, you make up for it in strength, quick strategic think, and lots and lots of endurance.

Leona: Take your match with K' from a few days ago for example: not only were you able to hold your own against him within twenty or so minutes, but you've also managed to keep him on his toes for once.

Shingo: LOL yeah no fooling!

Shingo: Still kind 9f surprised that I've lasted that long tho

Leona: That, in it of itself, is worthy of being proud of.

Leona: And I'm sure that if you can try and emulate a similar method from your previous match to ours, it's possible that you'll be able to catch up with my movements in no time.

Leona: Not that I would make it easy for you of course 😉

Shingo: Lol don't worry. I wouldn't exactly any less from you, Leona-san

Shingo: I'll just have to work even harder to be a worthy match up to you!

Leona: Just try not to work yourself too hard, okay? I'm just glad we have the chance to hang out more if anything

Shingo: I'm glad too, Leona-san!

Shingo: It makes me appericate our friendship even more than before, u know?

Leona: Likewise. Your sweet and kind nature always manages to put a smile on my face 😊

.......................................................................

Shingo's heart melts into a smile as he places his hand onto his chest before he continues texting.

......................................................................

Shingo: U sure about that? Cuz I think yours is making me smile already!~

Leona: Lol Is that so? That's very nice to hear~

Leona: But back at the topic at hand, what's the location you want to meet up at?

Leona: I'm already heading to town as we speak.

Shingo: Already!?

Shingo: Okay. Do you remember that coffee place I work at?

Leona: Athena's Coffee Shop? Yes, I believe I know where it's located at.

Shingo: Great! Once I get myself ready, I'll meet you there in jiff!

Shingo: I'll try not to take too long along way

Leona: Take as much time as you need to prepare yourself. I don't mind the wait.

Leona: But do be cautious and mindful around the road once you come out outside.

Leona: I've noticed the traffic is starting to pick up on my end, so I don't want you to get yourself caught up in all of it, got it?

Shingo: Yes, ma'am!

@tampire

@illyrilex

@helsic

@cyber-wildcat

@theweebmaster31

@caleb13frede

@keyenuta

[saintobio]

i am honestly SPEECHLESS again… what the actual fuck. too much for my heart saint😭😭 all the surprises got me shook and im sorry for the long ass rant but let me go step by step:

this was shocking but expected… i just knew that eula didn’t really love her husband. she literally just used him to climb up. also that knowing smirk she had the other day when y/n was there… she knew about everything. mei mei… ofc. just like her canon self doing anything for money. as much as i dislike satoru, i dislike his dad and stepmom even more. idk if to wish for they downfall or not bc gojo’s dad deserves it but gojo kinda doesn’t. i feel so conflicted bc i actually love satoru but can’t help but feel hate and unpleasantness for him bc of his actions. the way he treated y/n when she didn’t do anything to him. the fact that it is bc of him that her heart condition has been getting worse. he has hurt her so much even i have spilled tears over his shit. but his stepmom is a horrible horrible person. satoru being the way he is is related to her; mostly his dad but also her. so like i truly dont know how to feel about this😭

always reading about him makes me happy… i love this dilf so much. i truly want y/n to fuck him just once. please saint😩😩😩

are you one of those countless men toji??😩 do you wanna show y/n what you’re thinking about? wanna treat her right??😏😏😏😏

wym that would never happen?!!! toji baby, dont be so pessimistic🙄🙄 i just know in an alternative reality him and y/n together and you cant change my mind🙄. though i’ll admit that toji knowing about naoya and eula and not telling y/n makes me feel some type of way… does toji know about eula’s plan?? like he doesn’t have to tell y/n but still idk it’s confusing😭😭 saint you got my feelings all over the place.

im usually all over a man being possessive but it doesn’t suit satoru. he has no right to feel possessive considering he a cheater who always put his mistress before his wife. like the audacity of this man bro. he too comfortable. im sorry but its too late for this shit.

i know y/n didn’t mean it as a payback for what he did with the diana shoes but YASSSSSS🤪🤪🤪 this got me so happy knowing he got a taste of his own medicine. but he still had it in him to get upset like man… have you got no shame??😭😭 he truly wants to act like he didn’t do shit and as if y/n is the one stepping over the line. y/n got so much patience i could never. also y/n talking about how she would never cheat back.. respect for my girl bc i would have cheated back a long ass time ago. or maybe gotten a divorce and be a single woman who can freely fuck toji or even better, just marry toji. especially during these times satoru acting like he cares so that it stings him more😹 i wanna see him crying

i literally cried reading this… i feel so bad for y/n bro. like why cant she catch a break? my poor baby😢😢 this is why im always saying i ship her with toji. every time.. every single time you get too comfortable with satoru this shit happens. it’s literally every time. its too much for her and she might truly end up dying like this😔

YOU FUCKER! YOU MOTHER.FUCKER!! I WILL REIGN HELLFIRE UPON YOU!! UGHHHHHHHHH I HATE THIS BITCH SO MUCH. SAINT PLEASE ALLOW ME TO DRAG THIS WHORE PLEASE. I CANT TAKE THIS. I CANT!! THE AUDACITY! i do not give a fuck that it is understandable where she is coming from. she is a fucking whore that deserves the worst. how dare she talk this way about y/n??? not even the evil stepmom talks shit about y/n like this stupid ugly racist stupid poor dumb lizard ass wrench does!! like how dare she??!! she doesn’t even love him or care about his problems to be getting so hurt. she just mad no other rich man would lower himself with a disgusting piece of shit like her. she is literally dog shit that you scrape off your shoe. stupid ass whore. i hate her.

this was honestly very shocking to me… i did not expect mr.gojo to end things with her. i truly did not. i thought it would take longer for him to do this since there are so many chapters left but now i see what the other chapters gonna be about. there’s so much more than just y/n, gojo and sera.

(TW.SUICIDE)TOXIC MUCH?!!! what the actual fuck???😧😧😧 this bitch really pulled the suicide card😹😹 as if we care, do me a favor sera and actually kill yourself. you’ll be doing the world a favor😹😹 wait actually no bc then there’s her family depends on her😔 ugh thats the only reason why ill try to not wish death upon her. her poor (no pun intended) sweet mom. i hit the 10 image limit but what does she mean she will make us pay?🤨🤨🤨 bro i can see this bitch teaming up with eula but idk since her hate is towards y/n and eula’s plan mostly affects satoru but then again sera doesn’t really love satory and is just in love with the idea of him so hmmm. IM SO SORRY FOR HOW LONG THIS WAS SAINT BUT BEFORE I SUBMIT THIS LET ME JUST SAY I LOVE YOU! thank you so much for this amazing story. this story is one of the few things i always look forward to.

HAHAH what a very detailed reaction!! thank u very much for sending these through <33 enjoyed reading them !! :’)

[bloodbagzz]

12, 55, 69, and 81! Go go go!

12. name of your favorite playlist?

darling i have so many goddamn playlists, wym my favorite!!!

the playlists i've had on repeat lately have been "brainworms" and "cheesin'" but some of my other favorite playlists are gods and vampires; monsters and kings, i'm why your bed's half empty, LoV as Kesha Songs Because I Can, nostalgia for a feeling, not a time; people, not places., poison/oxygen;love/suicide, and seeing power rangers but in space! always makes me giggle (rip voltron)

also, in honor of my chemical romance releasing a nEW FUCKING SONG: my mcr playlist: OH FUCK OH SHIT

55. favorite fairy tale?

not a fairy tale but icarus is my most beloved of mythology <3

for real fairy tales, the goose girl has always been my soft spot!!

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

oh man oh boy i am SO FULL OF FUN FACTS. here's an incorrect fact that came up the other day though: blood is blue in your veins but red when it touches oxygen. where did we, as children, pick that up??? it doesn't seem to be just a regional thing. i know tons of kids that picked that up from somewhere growing up. where did we learn that???? why did we all learn it???????

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

...i didn't know there was a. difference?? isn't it just regional terminology??? i grew up saying lightning bugs, though.

send me a number from the weird ask list!