#i am my father's daughter
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I hate talking to my father. Not because I'm traumatized by him or that I despise him, but he's so genuinely annoying to talk to.
It's like talking to myself when I'm uninterested in the conversation.
#i am my father's daughter#BLEGH#whoever made that adage tf#that also means i am annoying#fair i guess
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sometimes i forget that my best friend Paige is Guamanian and doesn't sunburn like I do and then we do something like go to the asian culture festival and sit in the grass for an hour and i come out looking like a lobster and she laughs at me as she hands me the aloe she only keeps in her house because her husband is paler than i am
#i call my complexion#zero to lobster#because it doesn't take much for me to go bright red in the sun#i am my father's daughter
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growing up as an only child daughter in a brown household, thinking that the nose and anger and ego I inherited from my father making me spend my entire childhood at odds with everything he wanted would make me the strongest woman. But it only ever made me a headstrong girl. It was only a blanket. I grew up and out of matching my father's anger with my own. I used to watch my mother in despair, why did she tell me time and time again, that it's easier to let it go. It's easier to be quiet and keep the peace. Oh keep! the! fucking! peace!, how I used to hate the way she'd plead with me. How couldn't she see how weak it was to simply back down and keep the peace. Couldn't she see that was losing. I never wanted to lose.
Except it takes a toll, constantly fighting, causing eruptions and chaos, internalising the destruction you cause to your mother's life. It's exhausting. And I had no idea that one day I'd leave home and I wouldn't recognise myself anymore. I would leave my father's home and I would become my mother. I'd lie down in front of stubborn louder friends and I'd finally just back down in the corner, scared to join an adult knife fight with my childhood sword. I don't know how to fight with non-father shaped people. Or maybe I'm just too tired.
I used to feel empowered and impassioned in my pain. I knew I was my father's curse, raised to be the son he never had. I knew he wanted me to think I was a boy but act like a woman. I knew to him I am his father reborn. And I'd try so hard to please him. I hated him, but I loved him. I worshipped him, and yet he disgusts me.
Love was the constant reminder that it was free. Love was an infinite source, except it only felt like love when I returned with exactly what he wanted. Love was knowing that there was a specific person I needed to be to feel loved.
Girlhood was trying to find how to be that person as authentically as physically and emotionally possible. Because I was angry, but I wanted to feel loved more. And every place I failed, it was finding the crushing realisation that, ultimately, I was too unloved to be steadfastly angry and too angry to truly feel loved.
Turning 20 was realising that I have no idea who I am. I crave attention but run away from the spotlight in case it turns out to hate me for who I become when lit. It's realising I have no idea what I believe, or that if I fight you too much you won't scream and threaten and then say sorry, and I won't squeeze my fists but let you hug me and let you forget it ever happened the next day. You might just leave. It's realising that the only thing I've learnt so far is that I am my father's daughter, and my mother's pain. But outside my quaint, brown, childhood home. I am just a lost only child, looking for new parents to save me from myself.
But now I've left the place where I learned to be angry. And it turns out being your father's only daughter isn't the armour I was led to believe. It's just a blanket I used to keep warm in a house constantly on fire. They don't set fires out here. It feels colder now. It's all so unknown.
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had to pull out this bad boy before i started punching walls
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i am my father's daughter
i am my mother's mirror
can i live up to the expectation?
#poetry#tumblr poets#tumblr poets society#poem#prose#poets on tumblr#my poem#short poem#quotes#expectations#living up to expectations#i am my father's daughter#my mother's mirror
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my dad when he hasn't called harry styles hot in 10 minutes
#this is HIS man. sorry ladies#im headcanoning my dad as bisexual. there's too much evidence#i am my father's daughter#maya talks
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so entranced by the sparkler candles that I burnt my own thumb
#there's a greek myth about this#I am my father's daughter#also fun fact: when you blow out these candles THEY REIGNITE THEMSELVES#REPEATEDLY#anyway my thumb is blistering now so that's cool
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"omg why dont you live a little?" i ordered my subway a specific way when i was 6 and i've never changed it since because i judge the sauce by its name
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Some Batfam Headcanons because the brain never stops;
Jason hates being called "Bruce's Son". But he hates it more when hes called "One of Wayne's Orphans/Wayne's child" because fuck you I'm his son-! wait no--
With the exception of Damian, they rarely refer to Bruce as "Dad/Father". Either it didn't occur to them/didn't see the need to/thought it would be strange. But when Dick/Jason/Tim/Cass are tired or injured it might slip out. And Bruce might just crumble a bit at it
Doesn't mean they don't say it to their siblings when Bruce is out of Earshot.
"Dad said you couldn't." "What do you mean Dad said I couldn't use that mug? It's my mug!" "You snooze you lose Timmy Boy-" "Jason don't be an asshole-"
That being said Bruce says "son/daughter/child" at every available opportunity he can after he knows that they have acclimated enough that they wouldn't be uncomfortable/know they can tell Bruce that they don't want to be called that.
First time Bruce called Dick "son" in a way that meant "You are my kid" and not in a "This police officer just called me son with a brow furrow" way Dick grinned and carried on with the conversation. Later he wondered if his dad wouldn't like someone else calling him Son; but Dick thinks about the life he was given because of Bruce and thinks maybe his dad wouldn't mind.
Calling Jason "son" is a hit or miss situation, even before he died. The first time it happened he was confused, he didnt think that was the relationship they had and it made everything change for him. He got frustrated--not angry--with himself and Bruce at this sudden emotional turmoil. Wasn't he just the kid Bruce picked up in an alleyway? Wasn't he just some street rat in bright Robin clothing? (He lets himself believe that he can be Bruce's son. If for only a little while).
Tim cries after Bruce is out of earshot, it would've been a year or so after his parents died and he was adopted. He didn't think he could have been wanted like that again. Even if you think the Drake's had A+ Parenting or not, I don't think he would have gotten a lot of confirmation of being wanted otherwise.
Cass smiles, emotions carefully concealed under her expression. She's grateful she found Bruce and he doesn't mention it if she leans a bit closer in a request for closeness.
Damian doesn't expect anything less, he only appears satisfied. But also relieved that he has gotten the confirmation that yes, Bruce wants and accepts him.
EDIT 10/11; hiii, i have added Duke, Steph & a Bonus in a reblog you can find on the same blog under my 'batfamily headcanons' / 'sore rambles' tag. have fun :)
#these are just my thoughts#they dont have to align with your own!#i am also trying to find a healthy balance between being emotional and being Angry for jason--#he wasnt the angry robin dammit! maybe emotional and a bit more physical but cmon#points at Dick 'Eldest Daughter Syndrome' Grayson#when dick gets older i would imagine that he would resent being called anything in relation to bruce#if its just for his angst phase when he first becomes nightwing or if hes dealing with his own identity/or going through a fight w bruce#i also find the father / son dynamic with dick & damian interesting so i might ponder on that a bit more#also giving tim insecurity issues about where he fits in with the batfam is important to my soul (i have problems)#sore rambles#lotuspowder rambles#batfam#dcu#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#cassandra cain#damian wayne#batfam headcanons#dc headcanon#headcanon#batkids#batkids headcanon#HI IF YOURE LOOKI
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this photo taken to commemorate the 15 actual minutes i spent staring at this shelf while making toast because i love it so much
#in those fifteen minutes i also discovered the reason my toast was taking so long was bc the toaster was unplugged#but hey nobody's perfect#also this shelf was made by a father for his daughters glassware collection i am honored to house my mugs here :')
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Person who is unusually angry on a recipe page about zucchini noodles: You can't just cut anything into ribbons and call it spaghetti!
Me: Well, if Washington can stick a feather in his hat and call it macaroni, then all bets are off, my guy.
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something magnificent about returning to work after a nice peaceful vacation only to discover that every piece of shit imaginable has hit the fan and the only way to fix it is to send a whole lot of emails :)
#look i am not a daddy’s girl by far#but i AM my fathers daughter#which means i can write a mean ass email#i’m very good at emails it’s one of my hidden talents#not a tag#from saph
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Judith - is she - is she alive? She's okay.
RICK GRIMES AND JUDITH GRIMES | a chronology
#making myself cry again#rick grimes#judith grimes#michonne grimes#carl grimes#the ones who live#the walking dead#twdedit#twoledit#tvgifs#ricksmarlene#my edit#mine#they have been through so much#their father daughter dynamic is unbreakable#this took ages but I am so happy with it
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Dad always said I was like him
Meijack and Chilchuck Tims Dungeon Meshi, Ryoko Kui
^ 1: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 2: Bug like an angel, Mitski / 3: Woodtangle, Mary Ruefle / 4: The Third Hour of the Night, Frank Bidart / 5 & 6: FROM THE MAKERS OF "TWO-MOM ENERGY DRINK," IT'S "LET YOUR FATHER DIE ENERGY DRINK,", Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 7: Batman: Year Three (1989) / 8 & 9 : FROM THE MAKERS OF […], Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 10: Wilt, CJ the X / 11: How Do We Forgive Our Fathers, Dick Lourie / 12: Milk and honey, Rupi Kaur / 13: And My Father's Love Was Nothing Next To God's Will, Amatullah Bourdon / 14: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 15: Someday I’ll Love Ocean Vuong, Ocean Vuong / 16: untitled, Joan Tierney v 17: Drunk, The Living Tombstone / 18: unknown
When your father tried his best to provide for you but he worked all the time and even when he was home he was either tired or stressed and he’s always liked to get drunk to relax and cheer up. When you know he values work ethics and respectability so you grew up to be capable and quiet. And when he says you’re like him you’re sort of puzzled, does he really know you so little, or does he know himself so little? But you like the feeling of your father ruffling your hair so you accept it, and still you stand next to your mother just as silent and just as stoic as her during family gatherings. He leaves again and again and when your mother leaves him nothing changes, really. You wonder if it’s more telling that you know him better than he seems to himself or that you don’t know him as much as you wish you did, or that you don’t think about him all that much these days. Out of sight, out of mind. And he’s never really been there, even when he was there, after all.
#It’s ok they do get in touch again and he prob at least lives to 40#Alright I’m ready to be normal about chilchuck again#Spoilers#I guess?#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#meijack#chilchuck’s family#meijack chils#Web weaving#alcoholism#cw alcohol#webweave#A couple more i liked are like a rearview mirror we’re not as close as we appear line and this french one from#Kristina Gauthier-Landry that goes like hands full of trout running up to you / look what i caught look / how much you love me#And this other one about chocolate coins that a dad arriving from work in middle of the night gives the happy little daughter running up#And it’s so anticlimatic and about transactional relationships and oughh ough it’s a good book#I am Chil is a complex absentee father truther sorry. Idc go see my analyses if you want don’t argue w me here#posts for which i am the target audience#Oh oh another one : So were we close? Or was it just the big things that held us together and the small things that let us fall apart?#The word father rotted in my mouth#Bc it’s left there to rot get it get it………..#Sigh. Like father alike daughter#I’m a truther that she’s more like her mom demeanor wise
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One thing I love about reading novels about different Primarchs is how differently they behave or apprach the contact with mortals or even Astartes.
For example with Ferrus, there's strict chain of command. He has his Second in Command, has his Captain, has his personal guard and only through them you can get audience with a Primarch. It's strict and structured as true military organisation has to be. Primarch on top of it.
Meanwhile Magnus is just having casual chats with a random transport pilot and just takes one of his Sons to chat Perturabo and such.
Now I just imagine Magnus being super casual on Prospero. My man probs walks streets of his kingdom finger gunning everyone like a buddy. Also just imagine being random person on Tizca with a question and you catch your 15ft Primarch King strolling by with grocery bag and you stop him to ask your question, only for a guy to grab random chair, turn it back rest first, sit on it and proceed to discuss the thing with you in depth in the middle of the street...
#Post#warhammer 40k#Ferrus manus#magnus the red#I love magnus even more#My man's a nerd hippie#I am so glad i made medea into a nerd hippie too she's her father's daughter through and through
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Idk if I'm gonna get jumped for this but....Iiii don't know if it's really appropriate to call Vander Jinx's dad. He definitely was her guardian, with huge uncle energy for sure, but dad? Like, dad is something really personal and requires a high level of closeness, and they didn't seem to share that bond. Out of all the kids Powder seemed to be the most removed from him and share very little traits/interests with him, and after growing up we don't see Jinx care about him at all. So, idk, to call him her dad seems more like a fanservice to me rather than what can be confirmed by the show.
He's defo her dad in the au, tho, because there he would spend a lot more time with her and because of Vi's death pay more attention to her, therefore tightening their bond.
UPD: I mean, Vander isn't even a part of her hallucinations. Now, you could argue that it's too traumatic for her even to remember him as is seen in season 1 ep9, but I think it's the opposite, actually. Knowing Silco he probably yapped about Vander all the time (and he literally does this in ep5), so Jinx definitely remembers him and thinks of him to some extent. But why then his hallucination appeared only once? Well, I think it only happened because Jinx was under extreme pressure already, plus she recently had a shimmer operation, which could've worsened her mental state, hence Vander appearing as a hallucination. Again, this is just how I see it, I may be wrong, but I do think this view of their relationship is rational enough.
#I'M NOT SAYING HE DIDN'T CARE FOF HER OR LOVE HER. AND THE SAME FROM JINX'S SIDE#i'm just saying that from my point of view personally their relationship wasn't close enough to warrant them the father/daughter status#am i partly motivated by my want to make silco her singular and definitive parent? yes. yes i am.#but if this opinion wasn't confirmed by the text i wouldn't have said anything about it. but it is not the case this time#you can absolutely argue with me on that tho lol. it's not THAT serious of an opinion and i won't take a hard stance on it🫡🫡🫡#just something i thought about and decided it was rational enough#and yes i know jinx wrote dad on vander's picture in the artbook. there's also a lot of stuff in the artbook that i choose to ignore and#consider them pure fanservice so. i don't care about that one either sadly#jinx arcane#vander arcane#vander and jinx#arcane critical#(?) i guess#arcane
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