#i am my father's daughter

[o-sachi]

I hate talking to my father. Not because I'm traumatized by him or that I despise him, but he's so genuinely annoying to talk to.

It's like talking to myself when I'm uninterested in the conversation.

[intosnarkness]

sometimes i forget that my best friend Paige is Guamanian and doesn't sunburn like I do and then we do something like go to the asian culture festival and sit in the grass for an hour and i come out looking like a lobster and she laughs at me as she hands me the aloe she only keeps in her house because her husband is paler than i am

[aswirlingvortex]

growing up as an only child daughter in a brown household, thinking that the nose and anger and ego I inherited from my father making me spend my entire childhood at odds with everything he wanted would make me the strongest woman. But it only ever made me a headstrong girl. It was only a blanket. I grew up and out of matching my father's anger with my own. I used to watch my mother in despair, why did she tell me time and time again, that it's easier to let it go. It's easier to be quiet and keep the peace. Oh keep! the! fucking! peace!, how I used to hate the way she'd plead with me. How couldn't she see how weak it was to simply back down and keep the peace. Couldn't she see that was losing. I never wanted to lose.

Except it takes a toll, constantly fighting, causing eruptions and chaos, internalising the destruction you cause to your mother's life. It's exhausting. And I had no idea that one day I'd leave home and I wouldn't recognise myself anymore. I would leave my father's home and I would become my mother. I'd lie down in front of stubborn louder friends and I'd finally just back down in the corner, scared to join an adult knife fight with my childhood sword. I don't know how to fight with non-father shaped people. Or maybe I'm just too tired.

I used to feel empowered and impassioned in my pain. I knew I was my father's curse, raised to be the son he never had. I knew he wanted me to think I was a boy but act like a woman. I knew to him I am his father reborn. And I'd try so hard to please him. I hated him, but I loved him. I worshipped him, and yet he disgusts me.

Love was the constant reminder that it was free. Love was an infinite source, except it only felt like love when I returned with exactly what he wanted. Love was knowing that there was a specific person I needed to be to feel loved.

Girlhood was trying to find how to be that person as authentically as physically and emotionally possible. Because I was angry, but I wanted to feel loved more. And every place I failed, it was finding the crushing realisation that, ultimately, I was too unloved to be steadfastly angry and too angry to truly feel loved.

Turning 20 was realising that I have no idea who I am. I crave attention but run away from the spotlight in case it turns out to hate me for who I become when lit. It's realising I have no idea what I believe, or that if I fight you too much you won't scream and threaten and then say sorry, and I won't squeeze my fists but let you hug me and let you forget it ever happened the next day. You might just leave. It's realising that the only thing I've learnt so far is that I am my father's daughter, and my mother's pain. But outside my quaint, brown, childhood home. I am just a lost only child, looking for new parents to save me from myself.

But now I've left the place where I learned to be angry. And it turns out being your father's only daughter isn't the armour I was led to believe. It's just a blanket I used to keep warm in a house constantly on fire. They don't set fires out here. It feels colder now. It's all so unknown.

[fluex23]

had to pull out this bad boy before i started punching walls

[ardenteuphonium]

i am my father's daughter

i am my mother's mirror

can i live up to the expectation?

[buck2eddie]

my dad when he hasn't called harry styles hot in 10 minutes

[cultivating-wildflowers]

so entranced by the sparkler candles that I burnt my own thumb

[kentucky-fried-tears]

"omg why dont you live a little?" i ordered my subway a specific way when i was 6 and i've never changed it since because i judge the sauce by its name

[lotus-lost-n-found]

Some Batfam Headcanons because the brain never stops;

Jason hates being called "Bruce's Son". But he hates it more when hes called "One of Wayne's Orphans/Wayne's child" because fuck you I'm his son-! wait no--

With the exception of Damian, they rarely refer to Bruce as "Dad/Father". Either it didn't occur to them/didn't see the need to/thought it would be strange. But when Dick/Jason/Tim/Cass are tired or injured it might slip out. And Bruce might just crumble a bit at it

Doesn't mean they don't say it to their siblings when Bruce is out of Earshot.

"Dad said you couldn't." "What do you mean Dad said I couldn't use that mug? It's my mug!" "You snooze you lose Timmy Boy-" "Jason don't be an asshole-"

That being said Bruce says "son/daughter/child" at every available opportunity he can after he knows that they have acclimated enough that they wouldn't be uncomfortable/know they can tell Bruce that they don't want to be called that.

First time Bruce called Dick "son" in a way that meant "You are my kid" and not in a "This police officer just called me son with a brow furrow" way Dick grinned and carried on with the conversation. Later he wondered if his dad wouldn't like someone else calling him Son; but Dick thinks about the life he was given because of Bruce and thinks maybe his dad wouldn't mind.

Calling Jason "son" is a hit or miss situation, even before he died. The first time it happened he was confused, he didnt think that was the relationship they had and it made everything change for him. He got frustrated--not angry--with himself and Bruce at this sudden emotional turmoil. Wasn't he just the kid Bruce picked up in an alleyway? Wasn't he just some street rat in bright Robin clothing? (He lets himself believe that he can be Bruce's son. If for only a little while).

Tim cries after Bruce is out of earshot, it would've been a year or so after his parents died and he was adopted. He didn't think he could have been wanted like that again. Even if you think the Drake's had A+ Parenting or not, I don't think he would have gotten a lot of confirmation of being wanted otherwise.

Cass smiles, emotions carefully concealed under her expression. She's grateful she found Bruce and he doesn't mention it if she leans a bit closer in a request for closeness.

Damian doesn't expect anything less, he only appears satisfied. But also relieved that he has gotten the confirmation that yes, Bruce wants and accepts him.

EDIT 10/11; hiii, i have added Duke, Steph & a Bonus in a reblog you can find on the same blog under my 'batfamily headcanons' / 'sore rambles' tag. have fun :)

[woolysocks]

this photo taken to commemorate the 15 actual minutes i spent staring at this shelf while making toast because i love it so much

[impuretale]

Person who is unusually angry on a recipe page about zucchini noodles: You can't just cut anything into ribbons and call it spaghetti!

Me: Well, if Washington can stick a feather in his hat and call it macaroni, then all bets are off, my guy.

[fumifooms]

Dad always said I was like him

Meijack and Chilchuck Tims Dungeon Meshi, Ryoko Kui

^ 1: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 2: Bug like an angel, Mitski / 3: Woodtangle, Mary Ruefle / 4: The Third Hour of the Night, Frank Bidart / 5 & 6: FROM THE MAKERS OF "TWO-MOM ENERGY DRINK," IT'S "LET YOUR FATHER DIE ENERGY DRINK,", Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 7: Batman: Year Three (1989) / 8 & 9 : FROM THE MAKERS OF […], Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 10: Wilt, CJ the X / 11: How Do We Forgive Our Fathers, Dick Lourie / 12: Milk and honey, Rupi Kaur / 13: And My Father's Love Was Nothing Next To God's Will, Amatullah Bourdon / 14: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 15: Someday I’ll Love Ocean Vuong, Ocean Vuong / 16: untitled, Joan Tierney v 17: Drunk, The Living Tombstone / 18: unknown

When your father tried his best to provide for you but he worked all the time and even when he was home he was either tired or stressed and he’s always liked to get drunk to relax and cheer up. When you know he values work ethics and respectability so you grew up to be capable and quiet. And when he says you’re like him you’re sort of puzzled, does he really know you so little, or does he know himself so little? But you like the feeling of your father ruffling your hair so you accept it, and still you stand next to your mother just as silent and just as stoic as her during family gatherings. He leaves again and again and when your mother leaves him nothing changes, really. You wonder if it’s more telling that you know him better than he seems to himself or that you don’t know him as much as you wish you did, or that you don’t think about him all that much these days. Out of sight, out of mind. And he’s never really been there, even when he was there, after all.

[aerionbrightflamed]

the penguin 1x04 / succession 2x01

[yes-asil]

Episode 3 came for MY soul

[ricksmarlene]

Judith - is she - is she alive?             She's okay.

RICK GRIMES AND JUDITH GRIMES | a chronology

[crazylittlejester]

i’ve yapped before about girl dad Wars but guys, guys:

Girl dad Time.