#i am more sick of blogging about it
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Final 24 Hours to Back “A Truth Universally Acknowledged”
The Kickstarter campaign to fund the publishing of A Truth Universally Acknowledged: Queer Fanworks Inspired by Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” ends at 1:15 p.m. Eastern time on December 5th 2024!
That means, as I’m posting this, you only have 27 hours left, and the minutes are ticking by. We’re funded, but we’d love your help to hit a stretch goal and to knock our initial goal out of the park. It’s not your last chance to get this book – we’ll publish it for all after we finish campaign fulfillment, and late pledges are enabled for just the print book and e-book – but you’ll get it well ahead of anyone else, and it may be the only chance to get our awesome merchandise, depending how many extras we end up post-fulfillment!
Wondering what it’s all about? Well…
With this third installment in our Queer Fanworks Inspired By… anthology series, we set out to explore the truth by which we at Duck Prints Press live: that a classic work without a single canonically queer character must be in want of a very LGBTQIA+ makeover! A Truth Universally Acknowledged: Queer Fanworks Inspired by Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, with 21 short stories and 20 full-page color artworks, is just that. 38 creators have contributed to this project, drawing inspiration from Pride and Prejudice’s characters and story to create delightful, thoughtful, intriguing, and (of course) very queer fanworks and Pride and Prejudice-inspired original works. For this collection, we encouraged our creators to focus on Sapphic/wlw relationships and/or transgender and genderqueer interpretations for their inspiration, though those are definitely not the only types of queer we’ve fit into this diverse collection.
Want to know more? We’ve done 8 posts with teasers from all of our authors and artists!
Teaser Post 1: Authors A. D. Williams, E. V. Dean, and Genevieve Maxwell; Artists Max Jason Peterson and Jagoda Zirebiec
Teaser Post 2: Authors Rascal Hartley, Vee Sloane, and A. L. Heard; Artists Saro/Legendaerie and Cris Alborja
Teaser Post 3: Authors Taliesin Owens and Linnea Peterson; Artists Aceriee (our cover artist!) and Tomowowo
Teaser Post 4: Authors Mikki Madison, Lucy K. R., and Shea Sullivan; Artists Zel Howland and Elizabeth Rose.
Teaser Post 5: Authors Téa Belog, nottesilhouette, and Em Rowntree; Artists Flore Picard and mcdad arts
Teaser Post 6: Authors Lyonel Loy, Sage Mooreland, and ilgaksu; Artists A. A. Weston and Amalia Zeichnerin.
Teaser Post 7: Authors Dei Walker and Terra P. Waters; Artists radicalhoodie, May Barros, and J. Radin.
Teaser Post 8: Authors J. D. Harlock and Xianyu Zhou; Artists Xanthe P. Russell and Kendall Pletcher.
So help an indie press get their next anthology off the ground, and get lots of great works of fiction and art! Win-win! Become a backer today!
#duck prints press#a truth universally acknowledged#i promise however sick you are of seeing me blog about this#i am more sick of blogging about it#but this is the final 24 hours and i'll shut up about it soon i promise
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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eating you and eating you and eating you forever and ever in order to become something completely other. fulfilling a specific niche that caters only to me and one other guy
#this isnt art but i would never do something like posting on my main blog . dont be silly#i made a different one w the sp3ctre tlq but visually this one makes more sense i think. i could be a stupid nerd about both comparisons th#body horror#< just in case anyone is icked out by dog thing . sorry#slay the princess#the pristine cut#stp#slay the princess spoilers#stp spoilers#the thing 1982#2 stp posts minutes frm each other but i am truly sick in the head over this game and i have been for years . its an illness and its chroni
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Not to whack a hornet's nest here but I seriously think some people should reconsider putting their NSFW posts in the main series tag. Multiple main tags, mind you. Those posts will still end up being visible in the main tag search.
You're still engaging in media that is directed to a younger demographic. If you're an older member of the community please think about who is going to see these posts. Not everyone in the community is going to be interested in seeing that kind of stuff. And considering the fact that there are still plenty of younger community members here, I think you should be more mindful about what you post about these characters out in the open.
#ttte#thomas and friends#thomas the tank engine#and then i whacked the hornet's nest.#and no this isn't a matter if a tag needs to be blocked or “if you don't like it just look away”#regardless of your age the media you are engaging with is directed towards children. you as an adult should be mindful about that#and i don't even engage that much with the fandom here but god i know more folks do#i have to wonder do you hear yourself when you're putting these out there? there are younger fans who are gonna stumble on this shit dude#i don't get angry on this blog i really don't. but i'm really sick of seeing a lot of weird shit in the tags#i'm mixing up the words “fandom” and ���community” but i generally don't like using the term “fandom” that much. it's 1 am#fauxtrainpost.txt#sorry about this one folks i just got tired
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Hi, hello. I stumbled upon one of your Fo4 fics on Ao3 a while ago. I think it's really cool that you're so unapologetically willing to write stuff about your OC.
I've gotten really used to people hating on OC or Self Insert fics that I can get really self-conscious about posting my works.
But you have a whole tumblr blog dedicated to your OC! And your writing is really good and I just think all the work you've done is so cool. I just wanted to let you know ☺️
You’re so sweet! 💕💕💕 Thank you, I’m always glad to hear when people happen to stumble on my blog and stick around!
And yeah, I did just kinda burst in here and shoved my feral kitten problem child with her Detective RoboDad for all to see, and I’m not ashamed of it. I never understood why people would get so mad about people posting about their own OCs even if they are self inserts, I don’t see anything wrong with that.
I did originally worry that the little flower child Jasmine/Rosalinda was too much like me despite the fact that our personalities are wildly different so I toned down some of her background and even thought about giving her a complete overhaul, but now I think SCREW IT- she’s a Mexicana now! Because I can write and portray an actual Latino character accurately so I might as well with her like I had planned from the start.
All that to say that I had my own insecurities, but thankfully I bloomed pass that with support from some beautiful Tumblr friends and I hope to continue making more content in the future. 💖💖💖💖
And Bestie, go ahead and go wild with writing about your own OC if it makes you happy. And yeet any haters out of the metaphorical window while you’re at it.
#I am aware that most of you probably don’t realize that Jasmines name isn’t Jasmine— but Rosalinda#Yeah. So uuuummm. Originally I had planned to reveal that fact as I surprise and I was gonna swap her name out but then….#This blog got a lot more attention than I thought it would. I was honestly just planning on like five people showing up.#And I’m grateful for all of this! I’m happy that people tune in to see what I have planned for Jas!#But also I hope I don’t end up confusing anyone with her lore.#And sorry for not posting my solo work as much. I go through episodes where I’m sick and it’s hard to generate content.#With writing with my friends it’s easier because I’m sharing the weight and it’s funner.#I plan to get some more snippets out of my head and even finish them react requests from a long time ago.#I have not forgotten about them I swear.#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#nick valentine#fallout oc#fallout original character
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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Pearl but as a Sky COTL person(i think their called moths)
Day 342
Just the newbies are called moths by the fandom! Canonically theyre children of light, but people usually call them skykids or skids for short
Have a moth Pearl and Grian :3
#daily pearl doodles#pearlescentmoon#grian#sky cotl#mod morph#sorry primal i am a bit sick and skids are my comfort zone#ill get to the mario and gem ones next time#btw there are other skid pearl doodles if you wanna see them!#just go into the skycotl tag on this blog#theres a few other nicknames that skids are called by the fandom#veterans for obvs reasons#i like to call skids who lead moths shepherds idk if anyone else also does#ikemen is also commonly used on insta and twitter#specifically to refer to. uh. the ones that look more attractive LMAO#usually valley or wasteland or rhythm ultimate hairstyle#although i think the sanctuary shell cape hairstyle was also popular#alright thats enough of me rambling about sky fandom haha
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just got a dm abt one of my posts and y'all please don't try and show the hermits (or any minecraft youtuber or content creator for that matter) my posts, i'm uncomfortable with it and don't want any of my posts shown to a cc. if they stumble upon it naturally that's unfortunate but i can live with it since i do maintag a lot (something i REALLY need to stop doing tbh i already know i need to make a tagging system just for my blog that wont clog results) but going out of ur way to show a cc is entirely different and something i am not comfortable with.
no hate to the person at all but even if i wasn't a little silly and weird with it sometimes i wouldn't be comfortable with it, i want my blog to be a purely fandom only space with none of the creators involved <3 please respect this
#which is imo how a fandom space should be#i'm old fashioned and it breaks the fandom etiquette rules i stand by#i ship and stuff and absolutely NO cc needs to be subjected to that please and thank you even if it's a non-ship post#not saying hermits and others cant hang out and interact if they wish hell no but like....#if you as any person with a following willingly go into a fandom space you have to expect to see some things you find weird#doesn't even necessarily mean ship just stuff the cc finds weird :v idk im not phrasing this right but like#the rule with shipping around any sort of media has been to keep it away and not show the creators anything !!! and thats fallen out#of practice the past few years with ppl getting more and more comfortable demanding boundaries and personal info from creators#which isn't right imo bc its like you're trying to see how much you can get away with. u want a guide on how to interact and social skills#which is... huh??? just be polite and keep anything weird away from them like what we were doing#some folks nowadays need “permission” to ship stuff even from SHOWS and shit with no real people and its like wow... huh....#u need it to be canon?? u need everything told to u by the show?? wheres the imagination. the spirit.#the making of everything so far removed from what it once was#like that guy that played nick from heartstopper that had to be outed to play a gay guy. like#idk im so sick of the boundary fandom ppl in mcyt 'what if they saw and made it uncomfortable!! im going to show them!!!!'#you are making them MUCH more uncomfortable than i am by GOING INTO THEIR FACE AND DEMANDING THEY LOOK AT IT!!#AND DEMANDING BOUNDARIES N SHIT... CRAZY.... idk the hermits especially its weird to me bc clearly they understand fandom etiquette#and the dynamic im talking about. most of them understand that by going into fandom spaces they will see things they dont like#which is why a lot of them only like fanart and answer questions asked by fans. even on tumblr !!! where the weird ppl are!!!#they also all seem to understand they are playing characters (citing joel cleo and grian as examples) for their audiences#which is. smth the audience itself doesnt understand most of the time anymore. oh my god they all died in real life in hermitcraft season 8#idk hermitblr used to be a lot more okay with hermitshipping n then a bunch of ppl from other fandoms moved in and its all more negative#and makes me sad. idk...#i never meant for this blog to gain almost 500 followers i just wanted to make silly little ship posts and now im scared to#bc ive gotten hate and its.... bwugh.... tempted to remake blogs and make one thats very clearly just for me and a few weirdos#whatever i went off on a tangent in the tags as usual just pls dont show creators my posts even non-ship ones for this reason#jamies bad posts#talking in tags#serious posts#<- ig??? idk
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SCREAMING AND BITING AND KICKING!!!!! THEY COULDVE BEEN FRIENDS IN DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES!!!
#I say screaming and kicking as I am wheeled away to sleep against my will#I’m going crazy I’m going crazy#Genuinely hurts my heart to think about#This is about Alex and Tim.#marble hornets#Oh my godddddd#This is so sick and TWISTEDDDD#THERE WAS A LOT OF MISUNDERSTANDING BETWEEN THE TWO PRE HORRORS BTW BTW ANS NOT TO MENTION JUST THE OPERATOR SICKNESS DOING ITS THING LIKE#UGH IDK#My entire perspective on Alex kralie character fucking shattered and broke the moment I read through the old marble hornets website#And looked at his blogs#:(((((#He’s so much more sad to me now fuck you#Okay gn#sol rambles#sol rants
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game), IDOLiSH7 (Anime) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Libel/Qual (IDOLiSH7) Characters: Libel (IDOLiSH7), Qual (IDOLiSH7) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - La danse macabre (IDOLiSH7), Post-Canon, Qual-centric, qual is having a normal one as always Summary:
I won't say "I wanted to stand by your side," or anything like that.
Arme made his choice. Qual has to live with it.
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shoutout to the 5 libelqual fans out there
#idolish7#la danse macabre#danmaca#libelqual#libel#qual#welcome to my sick and twisted mind palace#sorry. i've been thinking about qual so much recently that i started feeling physically ill#and that's not an exaggeration#i wasn't going to post this here because this is technically an art blog#and also i was embarrassed#and terrified#but i was asked to. so here i am#i really am more of an artist than i am a writer so this was fueled entirely by my illnesses#as i was typing these tags i genuinely felt nauseous again
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look okay it's bad to erase marvin's canonical sexuality and the fact that She Likes Men but i literally genuinely with all my heart think that she is a trans woman
#the repetition of in trousers = gender roles forced on him#i'm still alive and sick of counting#something's missing in my life... i have a family#i love being marvin SHE IS SOOO IN DENIAL#banging his groin with his fist#SHOULD HIS MOTHER BE BLAMED.#i tell him he's a person- he says i'm just ridickalous#btw she is literally distancing herself from her body and sense of self... man i can't begin to express how feral i am about this.#uhm also projecting onto miss goldberg because she is “perfect womanhood”#miss goldberg is transition goals#no literally she's obsessed with her !!!!#“made me what i am today” COME ON. FUCK.#also the constant references in both in trousers and falsettos to marvin being a boy. internalised transphobia you will never understand her#she's so attached to the women in her life and fails to be a “good man” for them as she tries to fit herself into a typical male role#and she's unclear and simplistic over typical male family roles (eg “daddy makes good money // that's what daddy's for)#“listen i'm a bastard bummer with a penis” she's so in denial my lord#a person who likes to lie too much SHE IS LYING TO HERSELF 😭#i try too much to impress other people#her suicidal thoughts as well! she is contantly thinking about how she will die or what will happen when she dies or whatever#LITERALLY DEADNAME.#how the body falls apart first the groin and then the heart..! she literally only considers her value as a man to be her groin#and even then she fucking hates it#uhm and also i feel him slippimg away. of course you do#“HE” is liyerally dying.#“people might ask does he feel awful that and was he grieved”#i'm done i'm tired now. maybe more coming soon#also pavelkaramazov if you see this *I* sent the in trousers ask i was just on anon because i hate my main blog#in trousers#marvin trilogy
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🤦🏽♀️
#I try so hard not to get political on blogs other than my personal but jesus fuck#I'm fucking sick of hearing about Trump#and the more I do the more afraid I am that he'll actually win the next election#god fucking help us all
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youtube for some inexplicable reason keeps suggesting videos to me about whether sonic 3 or mufasa will be the bigger hit at the box office and I'm not gonna watch the videos but also like. I really hope it's sonic-
#my reasons for this are as follows#1) I like the sonic movies#2) I am sick and tired of the live action disney remakes AND their obsession with sequels so to essentially do Both at Once is evil to me#and I need it to fail please ohmygod I cannot take any more of these please someone make it STOP#3) I have a very specific hatred of hyper-realistic cgi lion king remake and now they're doing ANOTHER ONE makes me mad also#also yknow what as an aside I'm gonna yell about lion king 2019 fuck it these are my tags on my blog and i am going to subject people to my#Weirdly Specific Opinions about a movie. anyways I mean again hatred for the life action remake obsession ASIDE like. it just fucking sucks#like for how much they hyped up how Realistic the visuals are and how Lifelike it looks uhhhhhhhh. it looks 'realistic' in the sense that#the models and textures are good and like that's all I can say about it#the actual animation like-#IT'S SO BAD. THE CHARACTERS DONT EVEN EMOTE IN ANY WAY AT ALL. IT LOOKS LIKE A BORING NATURE DOCUMENTARY BUT WORSE BECAUSE AT LEAST REAL#LIFE LIONS DONT JUST STAND THERE BLANKLY#and before you say 'oh but sage real life lions dont smile and have eyebrows and stuff' I KNOWWW#BUT ALSO LIKE. BODY LANGUAGE. COME ON. IF YOU DONT WANT TO STUDY REAL LIONS CAN YOU AT LEAST LIKE LOOK AT A HOUSE CAT OR SOMETHING#also it Extra pisses me off because the original lion king like.......... the animation is So Good.... and they clearly did their research#into cat body language.... and also THE ANIMATION IS SOOO GOOD......#and then the remake is um. well fucking look at it.#also they cant even get the ATMOSPHERE right like how do you even do that#ughhhh i haaaate that fucking remake i hate it soooo much#but uh. yeah anyways. hate lion king 2019 and sonic 3 needs to destroy mufasa
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lucian makes a 3 note tumblr post and suddenly everyone wants to put his ass on trial for every grievance the family has against him. okayyy what if we all killed ourselves
#fuck off..im serious like what is this. is anybody fucking seeing this#and nobody wants to speak for themselves it all comes down to one person having to relay the whole laundry list of my crimes#as if i ever get more than one check in a year. as if they know anything about me or who i am#beyond what apparently gets looked at on my blog and relayed to my mother. living in the fucking digital panopticon apparently#i hope everyone is happy! lucian is the problem! he’s always been so ungrateful and inconsiderate! let’s all make him feel trapped.#no wonder i had to get out of there. years of my life i dedicated to enduring my mother so that i could be near my sister#and every time crucify lucian day comes back around it’s everyone’s turn to tell me how i failed her as if i dont fucking know that#i dont need them leveraging her over me like a sick kick in the gut every time they speak to me. like they know how much i love her#burning bridges. fuck off. ive been chased back across the bridge every time.
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...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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Why must dieting be absolutely fucking miserable
#ed blogs please dni i am not associated with you#i’ve only been calorie counting for 2.5 days and i’m already SICK OF THIS#why is every food i like to eat like 200 calories per mouthful#i’m planning dinner because i’m SO hungry already and why is a dollop of mayonnaise like the same amount of calories#as a whole can of butter beans. what’s the reason for that#i’m NOT switching to light mayo. at that point i’d rather just cut mayo from my diet altogether#light mayo; reduced fat margarine; light cream cheese & reduced salt marmite all taste horrendous to me#light cheddar as well. i’m not eating it!!!#don’t get me started on having to cut out weed because i will just start crying#being sober turns me into such a hater but the last thing i need is anything that will increase my appetite#i’ll be fine in like a week once my body adapts to eating 2074 calories instead of like fucking… 3000 or whatever it was#most of which were junk. i’m very sad that i can’t eat more than one sweet or piece of chocolate per day but i’m just trying not to think#about it. and while i’m on the subject; since when are fibre one brownies so boring. i feel like they used to taste legitimately good#i’m going to take up running again. because then i will be able to eat more. but also i will be hungrier. i CANNOT win#they really need to invent a low calorie food that actually tastes good to me. every time i google it i’m like eurgh#celery and nuts. fuck off#if i didn’t have arthritis in my knee and a family history of heart problems i wouldn’t be doing this shit but alas! i probably should#i just want to take like 20kg of strain off my knees it should not be this hard. and yet!#personal
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