#i am legitimately done looking at this bit

[arolesbianism]

Richard vc damn I'm doing such a good job at committing to this bit rn I'm so good at acting scared (<- is scared (<- doesn't realize that she feels emotions))

[kavehayati]

Wow that was a very good session of haterism this is why I love this account 😻🤞✨

^^ also me cause I’d go right back to her wahoo

[dear-ao3]

the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)

Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2

hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long). 

what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.

the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)

and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024

and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!

anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.

but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go. 

first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now. 

what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness: 

george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt

fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.

we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory. 

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nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though

and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.

also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.

he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting

charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.

oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc

max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.

we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago. 

heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:

lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki. 

lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around

george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged

george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something

max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding. 

and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)

and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip

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then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama

haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”

in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.

adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where! 

ferrari? no that would be too obvious. 

mercedes? nah

williams? no too much of a shit show

aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show! 

that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025. 

apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power. 

he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari. 

fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.

by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).

lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:

"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."

mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:

mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical. 

lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….

and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."

max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."

and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can. 

a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile. 

but! there is more! 

daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.

which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.

which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off. 

and with that. the baku lore. 

theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events. 

such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:

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they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that

the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully

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and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.

speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls. 

then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks. 

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but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.

some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right? 

franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying. 

also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say. 

but alas. qualifying. 

i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE. 

so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box. 

max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that. 

slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster) 

charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won. 

and franco has never been to baku before. 

i think that's all the exposition that we need here. 

q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3. 

the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice. 

the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando. 

lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault) 

now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag. 

if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader. 

in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.

and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up. 

q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled. 

in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow” 

and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon. 

max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th. 

and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race. 

steaming on forward to q3. 

we had, for review, in q3 the following: 

both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri. 

right out the gate it was wild. 

“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment. 

everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer. 

here were the standings: 

charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando

and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-

wait a second what is that

could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!

oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk

meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.

and what do you know i have time

so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say

"the williams still has the air box fan in"

"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.

and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:

"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"

alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap. 

franco did tho!

and here were out qualifying results: 

p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex  p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel  p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban 

oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit. 

everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second

onto the race. 

notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.

and so, we head into lap 1.

charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth. 

someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid. 

by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a  spot to nico. 

also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.

and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio. 

yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being. 

franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL. 

lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past. 

george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break. 

on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th. 

and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap. 

several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo. 

“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly. 

mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando. 

and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do? 

they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race. 

remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.

lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits. 

thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo. 

mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!

meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control. 

several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done. 

ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place. 

charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said. 

carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th

this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.

also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.” 

max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not. 

but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”

this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to. 

meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working. 

lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando. 

“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too. 

10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:

oscar

+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george  +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban  +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu 

lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max

at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”

“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct. 

we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.

definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem. 

oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.” 

and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship. 

“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)

meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!! 

but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened. 

what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash. 

the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.

and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:

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but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car. 

which meant 

OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP

and george inherited p3! 

and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit! 

“yes!” he whispered over the radio. 

he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating. 

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he also got driver of the day! 

(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)

gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting. 

george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner” 

charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice. 

oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.” and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.

and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!

the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled: 

and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them

(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)

george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium

the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:

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and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran: 

-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management

-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically. 

-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season

-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)

-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red

-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters. 

-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)

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-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now” 

-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.” 

-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram. 

-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.

-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today! 

-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now. 

-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren. 

-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast

and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise. 

see you all soon!!!

[thatsmistertoyou]

maybe a hot take idk

look I know many people are upset about the pricing/fee situation of the TIT livestream (me included, I was pissed as hell that I got a large surprise fee), and I hope everything gets sorted out. I’m proud of the phandom for being loud and demanding fairness from the platform. you will not get shit past us.

I understand that. however, I completely disagree with some opinions I’ve seen (mainly on twitter but whatever) that charging for the stream at all is greedy, especially for people who have already paid to see the show. this is a weird take imo because this stream is supposed to be an opportunity for people who didn’t get to go to see it with an audience as a communal experience. but if you already spent money and don’t want to spend more, don’t!

and I don’t know anything about anything but based on the very little information dnp have provided about the cost of touring, I really don’t think they have the option to just do the stream for free. this is just my opinion, but based on how dan said he lost money touring WAD, i would not be surprised if the livestream paid for the rights he needed to release it for free on YouTube (and the extremely important rights to play All Star in the credits). just because he wrote and performed it doesn’t mean he owned it. it would not surprise me at all if the profits from the stream don’t go to dnp only.

and also, Things Cost Money, including livestreams. I think the platform has really showed their ass, but if we remove them from the equation for a second - everyone who put on TIT, including Dan and Phil, deserve to be compensated for their work. I don’t expect them to bleed money into this project forever just because it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I’m sure they’re doing just fine financially, but they are not and never have asked anyone to take food off their table to support them.

I actually find it really disheartening to see just how many people were like, legitimately, personally angry with dnp before they had even had a chance to respond to our concerns. I’ve been around long enough to remember when they announced TABINOF, there was an uproar about how they were sellouts because they were writing a book just like every other youtuber, making a shitty cashgrab when they had nothing to say. in the 2 days before we knew what the book would even be about, the Discourse had never been more annoying or mean spirited.

and it made me wonder, what are yall doing here if you assume the worst like that? have you just been waiting for the masks to slip? are you appalled that they participate in the heinous capitalistic act of selling their labor like everyone else? have your years of support not earned a little bit of grace when there’s a miscommunication?

I’m not saying approach everything like ‘they’ve never done anything wrong once in their whole lives and never will’, but the vitriol that seems to come out at minor fuck ups is alarming. some of yall do not like them and it shows. (I am looking directly at twitter dot com now)

I find that attitude really sad. after the TABINOF drama, I promised myself I’d never lose sleep over phandom nonsense again, so I’m going to bed, just had to get some thoughts out there. 💙

[scottishaccentsareawesome]

After everybody got back to Nevada after the Dagger mission, the whole squad came to the Hard Deck to celebrate. And Rooster and Hangman seemed legitimately cozy as they talked (and drank) in a corner by themselves.

Hangman was leaning with his back against the wall, and he was a little drunk so he couldn’t help but smile at Rooster (because yeah, the drunkenness is why).

And Rooster, also a little drunk, was standing in front of Hangman, and he had his hand planted on a spot on the wall just beside and above Hangman’s head, because he was a little drunk and didn’t want to fall over (not because it caused him to lean closer to Hangman), and he was smiling (strictly because he’s a little drunk).

“I gotta say, Bradshaw…you did a good job out there,” said Hangman.

Rooster grinned.

“Well, thank you, Hangman,” he replied, starting to waver a little, so he brought his hand down just a smidge, causing it to be just a bit closer to Hangman’s head.

“Yeah, you hit that target and I almost felt something akin to pride,” said Hangman, with uninhibited joy and dancing in his green eyes.

“Were you?!” Rooster exclaimed., his voice pitching just a bit to show his shock (and yes, still a little drunk).

Hangman burst out laughing.

“Well, you suck at darts, and I’ve cleaned up the bathroom after you’ve used it, so I was happy you could hit at least one target,” he joked.

“Hey, I am great at darts.”

“Oh? And no comment for the other thing?”

“…I am great at darts.”

Hangman burst out laughing a second time.

“…So you were proud of me, huh?” Rooster asked, with a wicked smile now.

Hangman shrugged, a drunken smile still on his face. “Yeah, I guess.”

“…Did you do your happy dance?”

Hangman gaped at him now. “I have no idea what you’re talking about -“

“ - Yes, you do.”

“I don’t have a happy dance.”

“Yeah, you do!” Rooster argued. “It’s the one where you go like - ” he started moving his fists in circular motions.

“I do not and I did not.”

“Oh my God, you totally did, didn’t you?!”

“Alright, I’m done being nice to you - “ Hangman started to push himself off the wall, but Rooster suddenly put a gentle hand on his stomach to stop him.

“…Hey.”

Taken aback (and slightly sobered) by the change in Rooster’s tone, Hangman stopped and looked him in the eye.

There was no malice between them now. Not anymore.

Just affection (some of it was drunk affection, yes, but there was also affection that would still be there after the hangover). “…Thank you,” said Rooster. “…For saving us.”

Hangman smirked. “Anything for a damsel in distress.”

Then Hangman did successfully push himself off the wall and he started to brush past Rooster now, when suddenly -

“ - I miss you.”

Hangman froze. Rooster’s words had been quiet, so he wasn’t sure if he was even supposed to hear them.

Slowly, Hangman turned back to face Rooster, who was looking right at him.

…So yeah, he probably was supposed to hear it.

Hangman sighed. “Then do me a favour…let’s save any further private discussion for after the hangovers wear off, OK?”

Rooster nodded. “OK.”

“G’night, Bradley.”

Hangman then walks through the crowd to the exit, clapping Coyote on the back as he leaves.

…And Rooster watches him go.

But he will be talking to him tomorrow…after the hangover wears off.

[fluentmoviequoter]

Pictures of You

Requested Here!

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!wife!artist!reader

Summary: While patrolling the fairgrounds, Lucy convinces Tim to have their picture drawn. She doesn't expect you, Tim's wife, to be the artist.

Warnings: fluff! mention of a bomb threat

Word Count: 1.3k+ words

Picture from Pinterest

“Why are you acting like you’re being punished? This is fun!” Lucy exclaims.

“Feels like a punishment,” Tim mutters, not slowing down as he looks around while he walks. “Fairground duty is not my idea of a good time, Chen.”

“What do you have against fun and showing you have a personality, Bradford?”

“If you’re having so much fun, why don’t you focus on that instead of me? You just do your thing, and I’ll do my job.”

Lucy groans but continues walking through the endless rows of booths. There’s food, games, face painting, vendors, and more local artists than she can count. Tim keeps his eyes on the people rather than the entertainment, only looking away when his phone rings.

“Bradford,” he answers.

“Bradford, how’s it going?” Wade asks. “We haven’t seen any indication that the threat was legitimate at any of the other venues.”

“Someone called in a fake bomb threat? Who could imagine such a thing,” Tim answers with his unique blend of sarcasm and grumpiness. “I haven’t seen anything here other than the usual suspicious individuals that show up for cheap booze and carnival rides.”

“It’s not a carnival!” Lucy interjects. “If you’re going to hate on it, at least hate on it correctly.”

“Sounds like you’re having a good time,” Wade teases. “Keep an eye out, the day isn’t over yet.”

“Yes, sir,” Tim answers.

“Oh, and one more thing, Bradford. Loosen up and have a little bit of fun for once, would you?”

“And risk finding out that the bomb threat was legitimate, no thanks. Bye, Grey.”

“Tim, look!” Lucy squeals. “Caricatures! Can we please get one?”

“We are on the clock, boot.”

“I’m going to ignore the ‘boot’ comment and simply remind you that I am no longer a rookie, but I’ll let it slide. I’ll say please again.”

“No deal. We’re here for work, Chen, not to get temporary tattoos or eat funnel cake.”

“You like funnel cake?”

Tim glares at Lucy before saying, “Not the point.”

“Tim,” she groans, tilting her head back. “What did Wade say?”

“To keep an eye out.”

“And to have fun?”

Tim doesn’t answer, and Lucy bounces in place.

“One booth,” Tim concedes. “And then we’re going back to foot patrol. Don’t forget why we’re here.”

“Sir, yes, sir,” Lucy answers, mock saluting him before she hurries to the first booth in a row of artists. “Are you more of a ten-minute portrait or a caricature guy? Do you know the difference?” she asks when Tim joins her side.

“You pick. But you only have five minutes before I leave, whether the picture is done or not.”

Lucy nods enthusiastically before she begins walking. She slows down to look in several booths while Tim keeps an eye out for anyone matching the description from the call this morning.

“This one,” Lucy decides before pushing Tim into the empty tent.

“Hi,” Tim greets.

You look up from the sketchpad in your lap and smile. “Hello, officers,” you greet. “How can I help you?”

“Hi! We want a caricature,” Lucy answers. “Oh, and I’m Lucy and this is Tim; we’re off the clock for a few minutes, so we wanted to have some fun.”

“We’re not off the clock, boot,” Tim grunts.

“Boot?” you inquire. “You’re a rookie?”

“Not anymore, he’s just grumpy and doesn’t understand how much fun I can be.”

“Well, Lucy, what kind of fun would you like to have? I can do, or at least try, just about anything you’re interested in. Though if you want a portrait in ninety seconds or less, there is a guy down this row that can do that.”

“Are they any good?” Lucy asks quietly.

You shake your head before gesturing toward two seats on the other side of your canvas.

“I’m giving you free reign, but if you can make it kinda caricature-like, I wouldn’t be opposed,” Lucy says.

Looking over at Tim, you decide what you want to do. The wedding ring on your fingers glints as you reach for a marker, and Tim’s eyes drop as he watches your hand before meeting your eyes.

“I’m going to regret this,” Tim grumbles.

“Tim, be nice,” Lucy scolds under her breath. She sends you an apologetic look, but you only smile.

“I’m used to it,” you promise.

“Lots of unwilling models?”

Turning your attention to your paper, you shake your head. “Officer Bradford, care to explain?”

“Lucy, this is my wife,” he says reluctantly before saying your name.

“Wait. Oh my gosh, I have so many questions!” Lucy responds.

“You only have four minutes, so make everything quick before I send you to check the portable restrooms,” Tim snaps.

“Tim,” you warn.

“Bradford?” someone asks from outside your booth.

You chuckle as Tim closes his eyes. He rubs a finger over his left ring finger, and you smile when his eyes return to you.

“Officer Thorsen, good to see you,” you greet.

“Hey, Mrs. Bradford,” he replies. “Makes a whole lot more sense now.”

“You didn’t think Tim would willingly have his picture drawn?”

“Aaron, you knew?” Lucy asks. “I knew Tim was married, but- Tim, why didn’t you introduce me?”

“I actually met Aaron on accident while I was at the station once,” you offer, adding the finishing touches to the caricature.

Aaron steps to your side, pressing his lips together to hide his smile before he radios for all nearby officers to meet at your booth.

“Thorsen, you just saved Chen from a long afternoon of checking the backside of this event,” Tim interjects.

“Worth it,” Aaron responds happily.

“Bradford?” Nolan asks as he approaches. “Oh, you got a caricature! Can we see?”

A small crowd gathers in your booth: your models, Aaron, Nolan, Celina, and two other officers wait to see your picture.

“You told Aaron to call for backup for when you get mad at me, right?” you joke, winking at Tim.

You smile at Lucy before turning the board around so they can see the finished picture. Tim remains impassive, but Lucy laughs, leaning backward as the other officers yell in surprise before laughing so hard tears come to their eyes.

“Who’s the boot now, Bradford?” Lucy asks through her laughter.

The picture of Tim as a cowboy boot with a police badge and Lucy as a puppy in a police uniform goes over well with every cop in the booth.

“I’m getting you back for this,” Tim says. “Both of you.”

“Don’t threaten civilians, Bradford,” Nolan chides.

“Don’t threaten your wife!” Aaron amends.

Celina and Nolan leave first, and soon you, Tim, and Lucy are alone in the booth again. Lucy happily takes the picture, holding it against her chest as she watches Tim.

“We got a bomb threat this morning,” Tim says softly. “So, if you want to head out early, I’ll be home as soon as my shift ends.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to pose for your own copy?” you ask.

“If you want to draw me, just ask,” Tim replies as he stands. “But we both know who’s on every page of that sketchbook.”

“Who?” Lucy asks.

“Me,” Tim answers. At the same time, you say, “Kojo.”

Tim rolls his eyes and snatches it from your side. He laughs as he sees the most recent picture of Kojo. After he flips a page, though, he’s met with a picture of him. Lucy coos, immediately commenting on how cute the two of you are.

“Let’s go, boot. A word about this, and I’ll have you assigned to cavity searches,” Tim says as he steers Lucy out of your booth. He turns back to you to add, “I love you. I’ll see you at home.”

“I love you,” you answer. “And don’t be too hard on her, I drew the picture after all.”

“You’ve got ring immunity,” he says, pointing to your wedding ring. “So, I make no promises.”

“Tim!” Lucy yells. “There’s funnel cakes!”

Tim rolls his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose as he steps away from you. You laugh as he waves over his shoulder, glad you got to see him, even if he will be teased about it for a while.

[sunrisecaminus]

Before reading this: two for egg laying stuff. If that's not cool, I get it. The rules said ask about kinks so I'm shooting my shot.

I have 2 only vaguely related things to offer to your ask box and then a related request if you'll have it.

1) y do we assume seekers r birds and not bugs? All the bird qualities ppl give them also apply to most species of bugs... More ppl should do stuff with bug seekers.

2) experienced a canon event irl and have discovered that laying eggs is.... Good. 🫣

Like, inserting anything just feels like inserting anything, but laying an egg was a completely unique experience and I don't think I've ever cum like that before? Like I legitimately have a condition called Anorgasmia, so I have only been able to do it twice before in a total of 30+ years. Laying an egg did not feel like giving birth (done that, don't recommend) or like how sex normally does. I have no way to explain the weird euphoria that happened and it had me questioning my life. 10/10 recommend to try all least once in your life everyone.

Whole ass came, everything was quite, looked at the person I was doing this with, who also looked shocked and we both had a "wtf was that" moment (first time trying this for both parties, not sure what the normal reaction is).

Tl:Dr the ask:

Can I request seekers having an afab reader who has their egg(s) inside them and has to lay them?

Message - This was the fic that took me way to long to try and make good. I have never written something about the laying eggs kink and so I wanted to try and make it seem like I am not stupid in this category. Hopefully it is ok, but please have mercy on me. ;-;

Starscream x AFAB Reader NSFW

Summary - You lay eggs and Starscream is there as your emotional and physical support.

Warning - NSFW, Laying eggs

Custom dress, draped down to the floor. Made out of expensive high quality cervelt, your outfit gave you a comfortable hug around your curves as you dipped the tea bag in your mug. Making tea while giving soldiers nothing but fear when they walk past you is your new hobby. You were told to not do anything while holding Starscream's eggs. Starscream was very over protective of you and after getting impregnated, he has non stopped told everyone to not touch you or do anything to make you angry. Someone tested it before and got their head blown off. Megatron is honestly a bit surprised in Starscream's new brave emotions, but he wishes the aggression would be more targeted on the Autobots.

It looked like you were not pregnant either…or it did…but only like if you were 3 months pregnant. With a baggy shirt or hoodie, it was very easy to cover it. If you wore a cropped top though or something revealing, it was honestly quite obvious you had a bump. Knockout said something along the lines of you having two or three of them heating up inside of you. It was fascinating for him and Shockwave to check up on you, knowing you are the very first ever organic to be impregnated by a Cybertronian. There was some concerning theories about if the eggs would even make it, but thankfully the amazing care you have been given on the ship has helped the eggs stay as healthy as they could possibly get…but it comes at a cost.

Knockout had said many times that the healthier the eggs are, the harder the shells are. Yes, it will still be very wet enough to slide right out of you, but it will be just a bit uncomfortable if they get too big. This would be a sacrifice you knew would happen before Starscream even impregnated you, so you and your Conjunx had enough materials and emotional support to understand the risks that your body might be damaged. Honestly you don't understand why Starscream was so caring for you, but you weren't going to complain that the second in command caught feelings for you. Sometimes he still acts like you were the one fan-girling over him, but it was the exact opposite. He was on his knees, bowing for you to be with him. It was quite amusing, because of course you said yes. Being together for so long, Starscream hasn't told you how much he has bene wanting to give you his eggs. It was one of the many things he thought about, but he was very worried about the risks and knew he needed to study more into human anatomy before he gives the idea to you that you could have his kids.

Sipping your tea, you walk through the massive hallways of the ship. Soldiers bow their heads to you anytime they pass, making you smile, knowing Starscream has scared them half to death. Take a few more steps, you feel movement in your lower abdomen. You put your hand down to feel what was going on, feeling around to find the eggs moving from your uterus. "…Fuck…" Immediately you call Starscream's coms and kneel to the floor. Starscream picks up and sounds like he was working on something. "What is it, my pretty?" You wanted to laugh from his little weird names, but right now the eggs seem to want to leave your body so you tell him exactly the matters at hand. "They are ready, it's about to happen, dear." After that you hear things dropping as Starscream tells you he is on his way. It seemed like he just threw whatever he was doing and ran to you the second you said that the eggs were ready, because you see him just a few seconds later in your hallway. Starscream bends down to your level to scoop you up. "There you are, it's ok, I got you." He was trying to be really brave about this, but you could see through the mech that he was horrified.

Getting into the birth room, you feel yourself being placed on the pillow with a bunch of soft towels. Starscream sits down next to you and rubs his digit over your belly as a way to try and massage you. All it was doing was making the eggs push further down from the pressure he was putting. You gasp from your insides moving around, but it didn't hurt at all…surprisingly. Taking your time and getting the dress to move away from your legs, you now just have to wait for the eggs. About ten minutes pass, you and Starscream are just talking about random things to keep your mind off of it, you feel your walls stretching out. "Oh! I d-didn't know this was going to feel g-good." You blush from the embarrassment as you try to put your legs a bit closure to each other. Starscream smirks and glides his digits from your stomach, over to your legs and spreads them with two of his sharp claws. You gasp and feel the eggs moving inside you from your legs widening, feeling as thought that the round shaped objects inside you just slid closure to freeing themselves from this fleshy cage. Knockout was right though, you felt them being hard shelled and quite big, so it was making you moan from each one of them rubbing against your walls. "Starscream! Ah, they are s-so big!" You turn your head up to watch Starscream stare at your pussy, patiently observing as your entrance opens. One slides out of you slowly, to the point where you wanted to just grab it and get it out of your system already, but it was taking it's time. It was probably a safer speed anyway to land on the towels below. Thank god these things were slimy, holy crap you don't know if you could have made it if they were stuck in your tubes. You don't have to push them out yourself either, it seems the eggs were working with your own body to slide out themselves.

One egg finally slides out of your body fully in view and it looked great! It had a beautiful palish color with nothing cracked or bruised (I didn't know eggs could bruise until I looked it up. It is rare though I think. I am definitely not an expert). Your body gave you some time to breath and relax before the next egg starts to prod itself out of you. Goodness this was torture, but somehow your mind was blanking and feeling nothing but joy. You thought it would be quick, but your body seems to like this feeling and doesn't mind that they are taking their time. Starscream seems the second egg lay next to the first one and puts a digit at your entrance and widens it just a little. "He said two or three. Lets wait it out for just another hour just in case ok?" You nod at him and try to breath slow and steady. In Starscream's optics, you were taking this so well. He didn't know he would feel proud in this moment, but goodness the way you are handling this important life event was amazing.

Some time goes by and Starscream rubs your belly to check. "You feel anything?" He looks down at you to check your physical body for anything bad. "No, nothing…I feel so tired." You were, for some reason, out of it from all this. Caring those eggs took all your energy and finally having them out was a relief. This seemed a lot less painful than normal human pregnancy, so honestly you could not complain. Starscream wraps you up and puts the eggs somewhere you couldn't see at the moment. He walks back to the bed and snuggles you. "You did so well, my love. I am so proud of you~"

[machine-babydoll-reborn]

Happy Pride Month everyone!

During Pride Month, you're probably going to see this document posted quite a bit. Either the whole thing or small snapshots of it. Usually in posts about how exclusion is ahistorical, and about how modern exclusionists would freak out if they saw how queer people labeled themselves in the 90s.

Now, all of these are beautiful depictions of gender incongruence, beautiful ways of describing genders that cisnormativity erases. But people seem to ignore that a couple of these entries... well... they seem to also at times describe age incongruence.

Take entry 53.

This person describes themself as sometimes being an 8-year-old "depending what day of the week it is". Maybe they mean it in a kink context? In the context of CG/L dynamics? Since it is listed after other terms associated with that kink space. But you can't argue that this is a completely normal way to view one's age.

Oh. And here's entry 19.

This entry... if it was meant in a kink context... there's no such indication. It's just... said. As part of this person's identity. "40-going-on-11". You could argue they don't mean it in a transage way. Purely metaphorically. But that might be a tough argument.

"Okay, but this is just one document!"

Do you need more?

How about this?

This is an excerpt from The Eternal Child, a paper on "infantiles". I tried to read the entire thing, but the mixture of highly medicalized language and explicit discussion (yes, I know it was called the Institute of Sexology, what was I expecting, but I'm very apothisexual) meant I had to stop. From what I did read through, it looks like while, yes, some cases might be better described as ageplayers in the modern day, others are extremely relatable depictions of age dysphoria.

So yes. The same place that the first SRS was done also had transage patients.

"None of these examples count because they don't actually use the term transage."

I'll give you that.

But do you know who did? Who was the first person to actually call themself transage? Back in good old 2008?

Randy Wicker.

Yes, that Randy Wicker. The gay rights activist Randy Wicker. The "involved in so many aspects of the LGBTQ rights movement that I'm having a hard time picking and choosing what I should mention here" Randy Wicker.

I hope you see the point I'm making. That transid people have always been intertwined with LGBTQ history.

Yes, this post is very transage-centric. That's what I am, that's what I know the history of best. If any other transid individuals want to reblog this with their own history, feel free. I welcome my siblings in arms.

The point is this.

We can debate whether non-gender transids are inherently queer, and whether a pericishetallo transid person should be welcome to celebrate Pride. Honestly, I'm not sure where I stand on this myself.

We can comment on legitimate issues within the transid community. Which, as I'm well aware, isn't picture-perfect. There should be good-faith discussion about that.

We can call out bad actors who use our terms and try to twist them to defend immoral activity. Who treat our community like it's a shield for them.

But this Pride, I don't want to see anyone claiming that a transid individual isn't welcome to celebrate Pride purely for being transid. You hear me?

[smolvenger]

The Ceremony (Loki x fem! Reader Oneshot)

Summary: You and your dear prince, Loki of Asgard, are finally getting married. But in order for the marriage to be legitimate, your wedding night and consummation must be witnessed...

Word Count: 5K

Warnings: 18+ SMUT Y'ALL ! SMUT! SMUT IN THE LAST THIRD! Voyeurism, loss of virginity, fem receiving oral, p in v sex, dirty talk, loss of innocence kink and some possessiveness kink. But lots of fluff, especially romantic, wedding fluff. Loki is a good protective fiancee/husband. I did wee research on Norse weddings but it's not about the accuracy, it's about the vibes.

A/N: This was written especially for @lokisprettygirl/ @lokisprettygirl22 (if I tag the wrong person, I apologize!) Follower Count Celebration as a submission! Wanted to try something I always wanted to write and get a new piece out there! Enjoy!

Comments, reblogs, dms, and asks about my work are always appreciated!

Taglist: @evelyn-kingsley @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over (with one small bit inspired by the weddings headcanons! :) ) @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @muddyorbsblr

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

“The Wedding Night must be witnessed by the court in order for the marriage to be valid,” Heimdall announced.

There was a silence over the table where all of you sat. Your jaw dropped and the look on the face of your intended prince Loki, became pure white. The other faces at the table all remained composed. Though Thor looked down a little, blushing.

Your dear Prince Loki asked you to marry him in his mother’s garden. You kissed him and said yes as you both cried happy tears and embraced. You were not born to royalty like he. You understood that there were certain parts of etiquette that had to be upheld. Traditions that would be honored. And everything you learned so far made sense and didn’t seem too bad or out of place. Bow to the AllFather as king. Use “please” and “thank you.” Watch your words. Show respect to the Allmother Frigga. All of that was common sense.

But this…this was different.

You had never lain with a man before. You and Loki shared heated kisses and embraces, but they were always interrupted before it could go further. Sif would walk in and clear her throat. Frigga would call to talk to her son. And then hearing on the insistence of a future princess being chaste, you thought it was pure dumb luck. After the engagement, both of you agreed to wait. So, there would be absolutely no reason for anyone to object to the marriage.

But the times you imagined what your first time would be like, you never imagined it being watched by others!

“There are…ways around it, but it is how it is done…and Y/N, your parents assured us you are…untouched, yes?” Heimdall asked, despite the slight embarrassment in his tone.

“Yes…yes I am,” you confirmed.

Loki glanced at you, then he stretched out a hand to hold yours on the table.

“We…we don’t have to do it. No one should force Y/N to do it!” he argued.

“First, we must guarantee a possible heir should Thor never have one.”

Thor flared his nostrils.

“Second and more important, we need certainty of the marriage’s consummation. It could risk annulment if not-then you both will not even be considered married.”

Loki moved his chair to be closer to you and wrapped a protective arm around you. You could feel him tighten up. Like he was going to whip out his daggers and fight Heimdall there and then.

“Could I have a say in this? A choice?” you voiced out.

The idea….of people all watching then turned in your head. It was a little nerve wracking. But something else was stirring inside you. Finally making love to the most desirable man in the nine realms as people watched became suddenly…titillating. You felt your lower innards already begin to anticipate it. It was no longer dread…it was excitement.

Loki gripped your hand and arm. Both of you shared a look and then you stared out at them. Faces all turned to you. Odin was quiet and crossed his arms. Frigga only folded her hands, but her eyes were soft. Her mouth half-open as if to speak, yet she didn’t. Thor’s eyes became giant, blue plates on his face, and he listened with intensity. Now they had to listen to you- their future princess.

“I say…we should do it. We will have the bedding ceremony. It’s tradition and might as well follow it. And that way, no one will question Loki being my husband, as he is in my heart already,” you announced.

Loki relaxed- you felt the muscles from his arm and the hold on his hand soften. He even blinked rapidly and began a slow smile.

“I have my consent for the bedding ceremony,” you announced.

Loki looked at them with a nod.

“If she is fine by it, then so am I.” he agreed.

Done and done. Heimdall nodded with a small smile-it was settled with only a minor conflict. The table then moved on to discuss other things about the wedding. One minute you were discussing the consummation, and next there was discussion of what color the bridesmaids would wear, and which roast meat to serve at the feast! When they got up and left, Loki practically pulled you aside. He touched your shoulders, his brow furrowed in concern.

“Y/N. Let me know. You don’t have to please them-you don’t have to let them force you to do anything you don’t want to. Please tell me- you can always tell me your secrets, darling. Y/N- are fine with the consummation ceremony?”

“Why do you ask?” you pressed.

Loki cupped your cheek with both hands. His voice grew intense.

“I swore to you to defend you. And this includes my own palace- I won’t let any of them humiliate you! I’ll kill them if they do!” he declared.

You leaned into his touch, kissing his hand. You gave him a smile. You reached up to touch his hand, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles.

“Loki…I…I am fine by it. I am…you need not worry. I think it will be nerve wracking, yes. I am not out of my wits to admit it. But it’s also…tantalizing.  I like the idea of people watching us when we do it,” you replied.

You heard him let out a long exhale. Then he wrapped his arms around you to keep you close. You both looked up at each other. You could sense the adoration in his eyes. He was protective-because he cared about you. And that made you even prouder to call him yours.

“My dear lady…and soon my wife…if this is not under any pressure, and your decision…then it is yours and ours,” he said.

You gave him a kiss on the cheek. He flashed a smile that could make Jotun itself melt.

“Then…only a week?” you asked.

“Only a week.” He confirmed.

“But Loki, when I lie with you the first time…Will it hurt?”

He smiles.

“Maybe not…unless you beg me to hurt you…”

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Seven days flew by. Before you knew it, the wedding arrived.

It was a beautiful, opulent wedding. Flowers decorated the place in every corner. There was going to be an altar, or a hörgr, placed on the throne room on a table. Even that was decorated. There were green ribbons tied around each column and table. After all, you were still marrying a prince! The guests were all bedecked in their finest clothes. Long silk gowns and velvet draping the floors. To make sure there was no doubt that this was a royal wedding.

      Your bridesmaids did their best to calm you in the other room before it began. One squeezed your hand. The other smoothed out the skirt of your dress. Assuring you it would be alright.

It made your mind wander. You were about to lie with Prince Loki for the first time in front of others. It made your heartbeat faster. But no... that was for later. Now you only had to stand by at an altar and make vows before the AllFather. That was all. Nothing complicated.

“I heard that prince Loki himself is nervous! Pacing about the halls in his cape! All because he wants to be good for you! He’s the same as you are now!” one gossiped.

“Really?” you asked.

“Yes, really! Everyone gets nervous on their wedding day, Y/N!”

You did notice a little crumb on your dress from when all of you had snacks of bread, cheese, and grapes to keep you satiated before the meal. You laughed and wiped it off.

Your own gown was a white one- to represent innocence. Virtue. Though now that you were about to become a princess it sparkled everywhere in the long, full skirt. It was as if you were made of diamonds. But there was a touch of sensuality to it. The sleeves fell off your shoulders and revealed your neckline and collarbones. You had to smile at the big of cleavage it did show. To give Loki especially what he had to look forward to. Tonight, and all his nights.

Then it was announced for the marriage ceremony to begin. Your own parents went over to stand by you to give you away. to stand in the front row. To see you, their dear little girl, on her big day.

Servants held out lit candles for everyone. Thor's own seemed tiny in his big hands. Only Loki and Heimdall, who was performing the ceremony, did not hold any. Loki, bedecked in his armor, a smaller version of his helmet (he was worried if he kissed you, the larger helmet would knock down and whack you on the head before everyone watching), and green cape, turned to Thor.

"Brother, do not fret. I'll do the fretting for you!" Thor assured like a puppy wagging its tail. Thor couldn’t whisper if he tried, but his tone of voice was soft.

"How do I look?" Loki asked, rechecking to make sure his armor was clean for the hundredth time.

"Like a groom!” Thor assured him.

"Good..."

Thor patted a large hand on his shoulder. Then at the presence of so many flowers, the god of thunder sneezed a sneeze that could rattle bones into his arm.

      The guests all took their places, standing around the great throne room. They began to murmur like an audience to a new play. Then a few lutes, woodwinds, and a harp began playing. It was finally time.

Down went wedding party. Walking slowly to savor the occasion. They stood in their places before the altar. The guests all smiled brightly.

But none as much as Loki when you walked out.

  You walked down. You wore a veil over your face and saw it through that filter of white. But thin enough you could distinguish everything. It glittered like snow in the moonlight. You sensed that the guests smiled at you.  Your mother and father escorted you down there. You saw the court shifting their faces. Just to get a glimpse of you walking by.

 But you saw Loki at the altar through it. And feelings overflowed your chest to see him.  Despite the trembling in his hands, when you walked out, he instantly relaxed. Both of you locked eyes. You saw a small ghost of a laugh that made his shoulders drop. The gold among his green and black robes seemed to glow even more.

You noticed Thor in his long, red cape and silver breastplate next to his brother. Odin in his own armor and Frigga with her hair done up and standing bedecked in a gold dress and an elaborate necklace beaming at you. Odin looked a little bored, but what did you care? You were marrying the love of your life! You would deal with your father-in-law’s nonsense later.  

As you approached it, you handed your bouquet of flowers to a bridesmaid. Loki was standing taller when you got closer. His cheeks were red. You felt him warm up as you approached him. Then he took the veil and, with his powerful hands, lifted it from your face.

      All the eyes were on you and your own bread was curdling in your stomach. But as you looked into his eyes, you felt it was all worth it. You had never seen Loki beam so happily in ages. Your father gave you a kiss on the forehead from over the veil.  He placed your hand on Loki's. He then looked at the prince. Loki gave your father a wink and then both of you turned to face Heimdall.

You felt the god’s fingers between yours as he held it. You were entering this union together. IT was all you felt. It was like the world was just a buzz. The ringing of bells heard only in the distance. You turned your head to admire his handsome profile, and he looked back at you. For only a second, it was as if the two of you were alone in the realm. Then with an exhale, you both turned towards the altar.

"Dear people of Asgard, we are here to witness the matrimonial rite of Prince Loki, God of Mischief and Y/N. Now-make your vows to each other,” Heimdall intoned with his own powerful baritone, he raised a hand.

You both turned to each other, holding hands before the altar. Loki looked at you with his beautiful, blue eyes, and though they were wedding vows, they seemed to come naturally as if they were words just appearing in his mouth.

"I, Loki, do swear before the AllFather and AllMother, take you to be my wife, my friend, my lover, and my companion. From this day until only death parts us. Before our family and friends, I pledge you my fidelity, refusing all others as long as we live. My softest words and tenderest embraces. The protection of my crown, my magic, my sword, and my body. In battle and in peace. In sickness and in health. In joy and in sorrow. I shall respect and love you boundlessly, no matter what may happen to me or what you may do. I shall support and cherish you each morning, day and night.  From this hour, as long as we both live."

The words from him sounded so lovely, you felt a small tear in the corner of your eye. But your smile never dropped.

With a steady voice, you said your own vows back at him. There was an exchange of swords between your families and Loki’s-to symbolize the protection you would give each other. Heimdall’s then brought two rings, conjured by magic. You each slipped a ring on the finger of the other. Perfectly fitting gold bands, golden as his helmet, as light, as warmth. Both of you peeked down at the pretty bands and how they matched each other. For both of you knew, two souls so in love they merged and melded as one.

“AllFather and AllMother, protect and bless them, guide them in their new union…” all began to pray.

There were a few final prayers and a hymn. Incense was lit in honor of Freya, the goddess of love, along with an offer of flowers. Then Heimdall turned you both to face the palace. Heimdall was a serious man, but you heard his voice declaring with joy from behind you.

      "The AllFather and Allmother Now, before all the gods, the people of Asgard, and -I now declare you both-Prince and Princess of Asgard. Husband and wife. Now...seal your vows with a kiss before all."

Loki turned his face to you.  You felt his hands go to your waist pulling you closer. He kissed you there in front of everyone. You felt his tongue push forward. and you let a small sound at the feeling of it. Definitely a more sensual kiss than the normal chaste pecks he would give you in his family’s presence. You could taste cinnamon on his tongue and feel the slight brush of his long eyelashes against your face from how close he was. Then he let go. 

Everyone raised their candles and cried "All praise the AllFather and Allmother. The Prince and Princess of Asgard!"

Then they blew out their candles and applauded. You and Loki held hands as music soared. Both of you walked arm in arm. Glancing at each other like excited children and then each other. Flowers petals were even thrown in your direction as you both made you way down there. Down to the feast.

 The meal was brief. At least, it felt brief for you. Talking and attending to so many people who came over to wish you both congratulations. Loki even made a toast, calling himself the luckiest man in the nine realms to be yours. There was more food than you could name. You enjoyed the foods served that you loved. Loki insisted that you have a break from talking to guests to eat your own food at your own wedding. You ate until you were full, but not surplus to where you would get sick. Good night, if you had to have your wedding night before witnesses, you were not going to vomit.

But the time was passing. Loki looked over at you. He noticed a servant take away your plate.

“My love…are you ready now….for the…the other ceremony?” he asked.

Your heart picked as if you were running, though you sat still. Then you nodded. You brought his hands to yours and kissed it.

“Yes, husband, I am,” you assured him.

Loki looked at Heimdall. He rose and all the happy chatter from the meal fell silent.  

“Now…it is time for the bedding ceremony…” Heimdall announced.

You were led into two separate chambers. Your bridesmaids dressed you out of your gown into a white robe. It was made of lace that was so light on your skin, it was a little cold. But it was beautiful, and you touched the pattern of the fabric of your sleeves to feel it. They escorted you out through the halls. You felt your blood course through you, but you did your best to put on a brace face. But there was some stifled and suppressed giggling from all of them- even you out of your own mixed excitement and nervousness.

You were led back out to the throne room. Now there were torches alight, but it was still dark. The night’s darkness had shone and spread her ink through, and one needed a lit candle to get around. There was a crowd of courtiers, all of whom were wedding guests. But most striking of all- a bed was moved to be there in that room.

It was a canopy bed with light, white drapes. enough room for the two of you to sleep-or rather, to not sleep. Thin as a summer breeze and just as delicate.  Right before the altar and there, the two thrones. The bed itself was surrounded by flowers around it, lovely white roses and a few green ones, complimenting the green sheets and green pillows. Such a bed could only be conjured there by magic, created by magic.

Loki was then given to you. He had his own silk green robe on. His raven curls dangled over his shoulders. You saw a peek of his delicious chest from the V of the robe and licked your lips. He walked up to you. He wrapped his arms in an embrace and then whispered into your ear.

“Are you ready, my dove? Are you ready?” he repeated.

“Yes…yes I am,” you answered.

There were the musicians- the harps, woodwinds, and you heard drums too. They began to play from the corner. The court gathered more lit candles-it was dark. But with music, the candles, the flowers, and the pretty bed, it did make it…romantic, oddly. It could be much worse. Much worse would be a rough, awkward tumbling before your parents.

Loki cupped your face. He looked at you- raw without all your finery. Seeing every bit of you. His eyes did have lust as they wandered to the skin that peeked from your lace, but there was more…he was quiet. His thumb traced over your lips.

“What is it?” you asked him,

You’re so…so…beautiful…so wonderful…” he murmured.

He gave you a kiss on the forehead. Then He then turned to all of them. He raised his arms out, a signature gesture with that smile that oozed charm and mischief. Such a man. No wonder it was easy to love him. And easier to marry him. Now you only had to lie with him and now that seemed easiest of all. His own voice made desire soak through you and you felt your legs squirm, a wetness growing between you as he said the words.

“Now, all of you wish to watch? Then watch. Witness just how much I love this woman. I adore her. I want her. And now that she is my wife, see how much love and pleasure I can give her in one moment…” He boasted.

He returned to you and began to kiss you. But deeper. It was a loud, wet kiss with more tongue. You could taste the feast on him, his breath. He groaned and he kept doing it, his hands wandering up your back, feeling how only one layer separated your skin from his. He removed his lips and voiced.

“And now…now your innocence is mine too…”

He pressed against you. You felt your own body against him, naturally. His hands went down to the tie of your robe. You began to take shallow breaths, your chest heaving. Loki’s eyes fluttered to see just some of how it moved with your breasts and his smile grew devilish. He only took one step away.

“All of this tucked away from me…not anymore now…let me take you in, my dear…”

He pulled on the knot once and it was undone. He then put his hands to your shoulders and gently slid the robe off. Dramatically revealing your shoulders, your breasts, your stomach. It pooled down to your feet in a puddle of lace, revealing all of you before the court.

The eyes were watching each inch of your skin. You raise an arm to cover yourself out of habit, feeling naked on the inside as well as the outside, but Loki gently removed your arms, smiling over your breasts, stomach, hips.

“You’re exquisite, Y/N…the softness…your shape…everything. And now they all will see you…and they’ll kneel before you as they do to me, it’s only what you deserve, my little princess. Let them see you…let me see you,” he whispered.

With a sigh he kissed you again, pressing his tongue further. He put his hands behind your head. You felt him get hard beneath the thin layer of his emerald silk robe. You wrapped your arms around him, you felt yourself moaning. You were pooling more to where you wondered if a bit of your desire would creep down your thigh. You felt their eyes on you-not in judgement. Maybe like Loki said- in appreciation. Seeing you as a piece of art to be admired. Seeing you as Loki saw you. A goddess in your own right, your own way.

He then picked you up- wrapping his arms around you and you put your legs around him. You let out a little gasp and he only chuckled lightly at you. You felt your own folds opening right before his body and you shuddered, and he did too- that most delicate, private part of you now felt against him. Made public. But in a display that was more for him than for them.

He then set you down onto the bed. Positioned to where you were lying down.

“I can’t believe you’re my husband now…that I’m married to a god…” you said softly to him.

He spread your legs with his long, beautiful hands. You peeked and discovered his own cock was getting hard under his robe.

“I may be a god, but I can show you what it is to be worshipped-my hands, tongue, and cock are your acolytes now…” he replied.

He began to untie his own robe to give him freedom.

“And they make offerings, like this…”

He dove onto the bed. He lifted your legs and plunged his tongue inside your entrance. You felt him lick up your walls-gently exploring.  The feeling of him tasting, sucking on each small bit of you. You begin to gasp and moan.  The crowd whispered lightly.

“L-Loki….it…it feels so good…where…keep…yes-oh!” you began to moan as he tasted you.

 You felt his nose and his breath there, cold against your wet pussy. He gave a peck to each part as he climbed up. Up to where the most precious bud of all was found. He began to lick your clit, slowly. But you felt a tingle all around you. You let out another moan for not only the throne room but for the whole palace to see.

“Oh! Norns-yes…please!” you voiced.

You tried to reach your hands down to feel hm, his hair, his shoulders. To never lose touch of your husband. He paused. You could feel him smile against your opening-his own altar.

“Yes-I want you- let them. Let all of them know who it is who gives you pleasure. Let them all know who it is who you belong to now. Let them all know, and anyone who tries to spoil my marriage, that no man can fuck you like I can…no man can pleasure you like me…”

You let out another moan in response. You could feel the eyes of the crowd widening. Maybe they too were a little aroused by this display. This was a ceremony- sacred and necessary. But this time it was…different. Your own pleasure was there at the center. You made another sound that would have made the AllMother herself blush. Loki’s voice rumbled through your body.

He removed his mouth. He then moved to stand up on the floor, towering over you.

You felt as if you were staring to fly when he tasted you, but you never left the ground. But you had no wings that were open. You had your legs.

He then finally undid the knot of his robe. You realized how wet you were. You ached for him. You were writhing, sighing out. You still felt your folds dripping both with desire and the teasing of his tongue.

“Loki…please….I ache for you-I want you, I’m so ready for you-fuck me into this bed and make me yours!” you mewled.

He smirked. He let his robe fall free of the knot.

“A beautiful little innocent begging for me….hm, I have both in one. A princess and a concubine. How lucy am I… How would that beautiful voice scream when I thrust inside her…”

You ached for release. You felt a throbbing inside you. How long would this take? Would you have to touch yourself before he was done?

“Here…take me…take your husband…make me-one with you. Continue this ceremony! You begged.

There were prayers given up by the crowd. Soft but present.

“Gods protect them. Gods bless them. Gods give them peace.”

There was no denial that Loki himself was a god from his body. Out came his chest-perfectly chiseled pecs and abdominals. Strong biceps and broad shoulders contrasting and complimenting his deliciously small waist. A trail of dark hair leading down to where his hard cock was against his stomach. It was leaking already-he wanted you as much as you wanted him. Maybe more.

With another devilish smile, he then leaned down and got on the bed.

“Now are you ready, sweet little dove, to take me-your god, your husband- are you ready to be my wife?”

You nodded with a whimper.

He crawled on top of you, taking a look over your body. Beautiful and all for him for the rest of his days. And norns, he was going to take care of it. He kept your legs open, then began to sheath himself inside you.

“Gods protect them. Gods bless them. Gods give them peace,” chanted the crowd.

Finally, finally he first entered inside. There was only a little pain-but you let out a shout.

“Oh! Oh-you’re! You’re so…so big! I’m so full!” you cried wantonly.

You could hear the smile in his voice.

“A large cock and a beautiful wife…what more could I want now? Yes- cry out. Tell them how much you love this cock. How much pleasure it gives you, my dear…”

He began to thrust into you. His hips snapping slowly. You were letting out gasps-it felt so good. Better than you could have imagined. You were getting dizzy. You squeezed your eyes shut except to see him. To enjoy the feeling. Each thrust to your insides, to your womb was natural. How he fits you as perfectly as the rings around your finger. A small hymn was being sung by the crowd as the music played. Gentle as a lullaby but instead was not an offering of your virginity to a god of both mischief and desire. But the volume was   matched by your whore-like moans and the grunts of Loki on top of you.

The volume of the song increased. So did his pace.

He picked it up. He lifted your leg to be on top of his shoulder. You could practically hear your skin colliding each time. He began to slam you into the bed. It seemed the altar nearby and each candle was shaking from the power of his thrusts.

“Oh! Oh-my-oh-gods, husband! You’re-oh!” you started to cry.

“Yes…yes bit by bit…I’ll-nrgh-claim you-norns-yes, here on this bed…. Have them-damn-have them all watch-yes-watch you become a wife-gods-watch me -yes-that good little princess, good little wife, good little whore, too-norns-here-taking me-taking me well-“

He then placed you to lean against the tall headboard of the bed. So you sat up, slid you up.

“Darling, uhm-what is-“you could voice.

He wrapped your arms against your waist and hit you deeper. And a finger went down to your bud, and you let out another cry.

You felt the bed shake-you heard the flowers shake with you, petals dropping. The singing and praying and music continued, already overwhelming you with the pleasure of your husband’s cock. And all of them watching you become awakened to the joys of the bedroom before all of them. For them to know how much you both loved each other. And with a gasping kiss, he began to fuck you harder, deeper.

“The-the-the beds! It’s going to-to-to break!” you fretted between each deep, fast thrust. You held onto his chest and kept him close.

“Let it break! Let it! Gods-yes, my little wife-fuck! Giving me everything-norns, gods…”

You were gasping, writhing beneath his touch, feeling it all as he pounded. He was repeating your name, his own hymn in his straining voice.

“My wife, now mine, finally mine-hela-every way mine-should-should have you on the throne too-yes-have you on my cock there, have them watch that too-nrgh!” he grunted with each movement.

And you felt something spinning inside you. You were not going to last. It was all overwhelming you. Sweet overstimulation. The drums were beating, it seemed hard, and his thrusts were getting harder. The harps played and you couldn’t make out the words of the hymn.

He was going at it. Rutting at you-showing both the grace of a prince and the power of a lover. Something was bubbling. Like the wings but about to take flight. You were starting to shake inside. It was growing, growing, you were reaching it, reaching the top. You clutched onto him as you were shaking, practically bouncing on it, the moving bed.

“Loki…I think…Loki I think-I think-I thinkIthink-I’m going to…I’m going to…”

“Then cum, princess-cum for your husband-for them-or-would you-nrg-rather I stop-stop letting you enjoy this!” he hissed out.

“N-no! Please! Please don’t stop! Please! Please-don’t stop! Don’t stop don’tstopdon’tstopdontstopson’tstop-“ you were begging.

He was pounding into you at a faster rate than you thought. He fingered your clip, circles matching the speed of his cock.  He gave began to repeat your name. Like a growl, and then his voice increasing in volume. You were spinning, thrown out of control, bursting up, and up

“My-My prince! I-“

You felt something in you-then you let out a last voice into a scream.

You felt it burst on you. Your first climax. You felt him give another quick thrust and he came too with a cry. Then he held you, his thrusting slowed. You nestled into him. Your pussy was shaking and quivering harder than you thought it possible.

As the witnesses all watched-the members of the court. Feeling this spectacle. Right here in this bedroom. There was a last verse of the hymn. Then a final repetition of the prayer as you felt his seed spurt inside you.

“Gods protect them. Gods bless them. Gods give them peace.”

Loki then looked up. You brushed his black locks to see his lovely face. He was all flushed, full of bliss. Enjoying the high as you were. You could feel the coolness of his sweat and his own body heaving as he caught his own breath. He pulled out but remained close to you. He whispered into your ears.

“How are you?” he asked.

“I’m…I’m okay,” you replied.

He pressed his forehead against yours.

“I love you so much, Y/N. I’m glad. For this…for you…”

You pressed back. You closed your eyes and smiled.

He went back to the group. He offered you the blanket and wrapped it around your shoulders. Warm and safe.

“Give us some water-a rag! Bring us our robes!” he ordered.

He kissed your forehead and held you close.

“You…You were wonderful, sweet Y/N…that was incredible-you did well…” he said.

The robes were returned and there was a wet rag. He cleaned you both up from between both legs. After putting your robes back on, he looked at them.

“I’d like us both to retire, please. Now. She needs some rest after today-and so do I.”

As you walked out, you both still locked hands-anchoring each other. Finally, you were both alone in his chambers. Once the heavy door was shut and you were surrounded by his favorite dark green walls, you both sighed.

He led you to sit down on the rug and made the fireplace start a pretty flame by just flicking his wrist. He brought a thick blanket wrap around the both of you.

“Here…let’s have our own little celebration-just us…wine?”

“I’d love some wine,” you agreed.

He then used his seidr and conjured two glasses of a dark, garnet colored wine. He gave you a smile.

“Here…let’s have a toast…”

He chinked your glasses.

“To the Princess of Asgard….my wife. And the start of our lives together…”

[amazingdeadfish]

Do u think u could make an opera version of mayor? I've seen a few artists make diff opera wukong/Mac designs but I think a opera mayor design would look very cool :D

Not gonna lie, I was nervous to do this, but, I don't regret trying out this challenge.

RAMBLES + (literally only two) REFERANCES BELOW THE CUT:

The costume is based on the classic armor outfit in Chinese Peking Opera. Since, we all know that the Mayor doesn't actually have that many identifiable characteristics or, much of a role in the LMK show other than being LBD's foot soldier or, thrall. So, I had to reflect that in what's probably an incredibly basic interpretation for what their design could be (because if you actually see the insane level amount of detail in peking opera outfits, you'll understand that this drawing is heavily simplified and lacks detail).

The mask, is, also simple. I tried to look at numerous references and get my head around the insane amount of possibilities of patterns and designs and what they mean, as well as what the colours symbolize, but all that's important is that blue symbolizes stoicism, black for integrity, and white symbolizes evil (but of course these meanings for colours have leeway in between depending on what source you look at. There is no definitive answer).

The mask is also important because it creates the most visual distinction from Mayor being a Jing instead of a Sheng (male protagonist). And, even though it's a basic mask, I did create it to imply an almost 'skull' shape to it. But it's discrete and, you have to be looking for it to be there (which I suppose fits because, Mayor being LBD's thrall wasn't revealed straight away)

Now okay look, I'm- I'm not an expert on peking opera at all, I had to do a bit or research to do this in order to actually understand what I am doing when it comes to designing an outfit for Mayor. You might see a hint of his Chief costume in the chest plate I decided to keep, and all those skull motifs to show that he is a thrall of Lady Bone Demon. But in short, he is a warrior, a soldier, a chief of war, and he fights and works for Lady Bone Demon. He is to be a character with heavy, dramatic armor, and a mask to not only symbolize his role in whatever theatre show he lands himself in, but also for the shrouded identity he has and, well, not exactly being the most in-depth or open character in the show :))).

Anyways, here's a beta design back when I legitimately had no idea what I was doing and had done like zero research apart from looking at references I lied and, thinking Mayor would have a 'lighter (less heavy) and less decorative outfit (clearly I changed my mind later on):

I am, glad I did not follow through with this design. This is, not a peking opera outfit. Not a conventional one at least, that would reflect who the Mayor is (because this mf is conventional as hell, fitting in with modern times with his suit and all).

And here are the, uh, two references I used (obviously there's more but, these two were the ones I really picked apart and analyzed and, have clearly referenced):

And yes, I copied the pose on the right.

Design is welcome for critique (again, I am not an expert on peking opera (it's such a vast, complex, and wonderful artform that the more I found out the more I was intimidated by) and possibly subjected to be redesigned later on should I look back on this months-years later and cringe horrifically.

[atomicpowered]

So I watched Hazbin. Let the record show that I am not a hater unjustly or unduly. I will put in the effort to fully experience the thing people are dumping on to see if it's legitimate. I went in with as blind a mein as possible given that I am Online and dialed in to various goings on in my swamp. My curiosity finally got the better of me.

I know some of the background of the show and the creator of said show, I have heard rumblings from the edges of my dashes and things passing megafauna-like underneath me. These cries of 'worst fandom ever!!' are pretty overwrought for what, by my eyes, is the pretty standard slew of agitated bees that follows this kind of thing.

Before I get into some thoughts about the show I do know that there was some talk about people not being properly compensated for their work on the newest, hottest, invader zim animated television programme. I have heard various things about what vivziepop (might be spelling this wrong I'm on a fight and bored so I can't check) has done, what fans of this show are capable of blah, blah— I get it. When you've been around the loop of this stuff as long as I have you know what many fandoms and sole operators are capable of. By my metric these examples are all pretty bad. Not the worst but not the best either. Definitely stand out from the other fan based background radiation on websites and in real life.

But I'm gonna talk about only what I've directly seen (the amazon joint and youtube pilot) for both brevity and my sanity.

I sell at conventions for a living, I've done so for years and have also been at that long enough to see swells and ebbs of trends that match up with their digital counterparts. Hazbin is… special. Not often do you see merchants throwing table balance to the winds to have MULTIPLE Hazbin (Helluva thrown in there too they're basically the same thing) monocultures for what they are hawking. I get the drive behind it too, no shade, make your bag, sex sells, but I can't overstate how rare this is! Even during the heyday of Genshin (lessening now) you still had different properties orbiting the cash cow on your display. Nobody just brought one thing and one thing only.

Now, on to what I have to say about the show. I'm sure some of these points have been echoed by a pngtuber with crossed arms but I feel compelled to throw my two bits in.

The show is all together, not good. Not horrific (barring some specific instances), but firmly overwhelmingly mediocre.I watched all of it, including the pilot, and besides occasional drama crossing my dash didn't interact with it much beyond that until now. Now that I have, I am very confident with my pre-watch assertions I made based on spitballing what I saw represented on and off line. I'm good at this kinda thing, you see certain patterns emerge from the data and you can make some accurate generalizations no problem. I frequently withheld a question when I would see groups of 14 year olds in pinstripe suits looking at my prints at weeaboo united or whatever convention I was at that particular weekend. Why are kids watching this show?

I know Why kids are watching the show, Hazbin is made (probably unwittingly) to appeal to kids! This is a neutral statement, I'm not saying it was to entrap kids or anything like that. The kids are a side effect drawn to what Hazbin Is. Not a target.

The appeal comes from a few main points. The characters are all designed like babies' first OCs, they drip little details and playground style power layouts. (My mermaid tail is blue and rainbow and I can shoot lighting and I have a pet sea turtle so obviously it is good or better than your flame covered tail and psychic abilities.) They are all based on a template that is easy to replicate and iterate on with enough play in secondary characteristics to make a bonafide example of some prime Do Not Steal. (Think Sonic, My Little Pony, Homestuck.) This playbook of style is sugar on a kitchen floor to ants.

The characters all say and do stuff with no deeper implication or subtlety, conflicts are raised and finished in minutes if not at least by the end of the episode. They have large gestures, big emotions, little depth, and huge expressions. They are stage acting, and the flat compositions in the storyboarding and directing reflect that. They are tell and almost never show. They walk on the screen and go I'M SAD or I'M MAD with no real subtle work. Yes there's sex, drugs, and alcohol, but, like. Conceptually you easily have characters acting like they're in saturday morning cartoons.

The overacting is great when you're sakuga brained like I am but it is so all the time and in your face that it just ends up feeling like those twitter videos of 60fps interpolated anime openings. (God I fucking hate those things.) Every character is moving and talking and wiggling around so much that it's like parents trying to catch the attention of a crying baby with hastily jingled keys. Even the swearing and the depictions of the more devious acts are so… juvenile. Everything feels like a combination of boys talking in hushed giggles at the back of the bus and what you scribbled in the back of your history notes among the drawings of the best realistic eye you could put out at the time. Like I highly doubt any of the audience knows what 'bolivian marching powder' is or does. And I don't think its main writer does either? Like one of the characters is in high profile porn, like at least make his vice a designer drug? It's like when kids speculate on what it would be like to be white girl wasted with barely trying a sip of Mom's vodka out of the cabinet.

So you got the combo of these character designs which mirror every tumblr sexyman since the bronze age and a very paint by numbers barbie house of characters. Of COURSE it bags kids like fortnight und cola. But like, why are people in charge just letting this rock? Is more my question. Who is letting Timmy get at a new glossary of stuff to yell at his substitute teacher? Don't answer, this is rhetorical. I'm all for letting kids self select but I kinda worry about this one and what it's doing to the teens. I'm sure someone more willing to explore that has said smarter stuff than me. But what I can see is you have the volatile type of person (kid or not) who is attracted to what I just listed grappling with badly handled (fumbled most of the time, let's be honest) adult stuff. This is the recipe in how you get a fandom that acts like this one acts.

My next thoughts concern Concepts and Themes. The ones here of heaven and hell are just kinda skated over as set dressing. In fact everything in the show is more like the plato's allegory of shit to stand on. It's basic on basic. Hell being an alright bunch and heaven being snooty know it alls has been done, demons that are niceys has been done, even interpersonal relationships set with a backdrop of a home for wayward characters has been done. Like again color by numbers isn't BAD! Just because these things have all been done doesn't mean you can't learn from and uplift your own idea with what came before. In fact, when you're having trouble making something a quote always comes to mind.

Wholesale ripping a chunk out of red letter media here: "Now I need to explain that I don’t think that all movies," ((Shows for my use case)) "-should be the same, or conform to the same kind of structure, but it works well in certain kinda movies. So unless you’re the Coen Brothers, David Lynch, Paul Thomas Anderson, Stanley Kubrick, Alfred Hitchcock, Lars Von Trier, David Cronenberg, Gus Van Sant, Quentin Tarantino, John Waters, Wes Anderson, Sam Peckinpah, Terry Gilliam, Martin Scorsese, Werner Herzog, or Jim Jarmusch, you really shouldn’t stray away too far from this kind of formula."

It's clear that this show has its roots in musicals. (Not just in the presence of musical interludes, the talky bits too.) Musicals often are color by numbers stories that expertly perform these fundamentals. They are a perfectly cooked egg. Simple, but a test. If you can't do the basics you cannot be expected to deliver on anything more complicated! It's also obvious that Hazbin's nest was lined with disney musicals specifically. I have my qualms about disney, especially the disney of today, but that's not for right now. Disney by and large knows how to color in said book to the point that it's a formula, and if you can't study this formula to excel at the formulaic you kinda deserve the crit.

You have rules and lore set by your world and you don't follow through with anything, your plots all revolve around introducing the coolest character yet or making your favorites even cooler but not like. Actually. Exemplifying what the hell is going on. I know people here are going to counter that they didn't have time it was only a handful of episodes with no knowledge if they were gonna get more, but so much of the show is donated to bad dialogue that goes nowhere, points and facts that the audience knows that are reiterated half a dozen times for no reason. They had TONS of time.

While I'm on the subject of dialogue, the dialogue is one of the things that is not mediocre but straight up bad. I already listed why above but to cite a specific example of something I haven't touched on, dear god you cannot lampshade your own bad writing by having the characters calling it bad. It is Marvel style spandex is stupid and comics are silly am I right guys 'jokes'. This 'joke' happens at least three different times in vitro and it made me audibly groan every time.

I am not a musical person nor am I musically trained but many of the songs are lyrically poor, abruptly plonked into the narrative, unfitting compositionally or, uh, poorly sung.The cast of VAs is insane, (looking at you David) and also often badly vocally directed. They are trying their best with the script but I'm more talking about how they are mixed. I found it hard to understand what was being said much of the time due to technical failures. Guys like Keith David can phone in a performance and Sell it to me better than some of the other actors putting their foot into it and that juxtaposition is also a form of whiplash that the show excels in. Vaggie is probably the worst offender for not being able to pick up the slack in this regard.

The characters being over and somehow under done lies also in their designs and the style that the show wants. I could talk for days about how much I dislike the sticks with a bunch of junk hanging off of them type of look. Nightmare to animate, no good character variation. I didn't even know what some characters were supposed to BE or represent. Alistor is a deer? Charlie is a faun of some sort? Where? Huh?

Too much red!!!! Too much!!!!! Red backgrounds, red characters, everything is a MESS, this is one of the things that actually gets me mad. There are no values! Everything fades into visual noise, which when you pair it with the animation constantly gesticulating at you and everything being bolted on with spirit halloween leftovers makes a leaf and stick tornado. (Nitpicky as well but pick a line weight and color and stick with it.) When blue or yellow came on screen I would audibly shout in excitement.

Multiple characters have tophats. Stop.

I'm not going to go into what I would do to fix the plot or design documents, I know it's been done to death.

God, where was I, I think I'll just finish this off with thoughts about the characters and then open the floor to comments or questions. I don't mean to make this a proper essay.

Charlie: I really dislike her, she's a weak character that has the IM TELLING HOW IM FEELING AND HOW YOU, THE VIEWER, IS SUPPOSED TO FEEL disease bad. Her design is one of the worst. I don't root for her much! Which is bad because she's the main character and I'm at least supposed to feel for her?

The snake guy: He had an arc. He's probably the most endearing.

Angel dust: the pathos they tried with his story beats is ruined by whipping back and forth between irreverent and WAY too heavy handed. People cried? What? Also the pig showing up for its two appearances to sell irl plushies was bad. His back and forth with other characters is hard to watch, and his capitulation to be better both feels forced and confusing. I don't think they know what to do with him. Why is porn bad in hell.

Husk: hi keith david. Bad design so fucking busy. They scaled him back from the pilot and I still flinch thinking about those tie downs. Why is alcoholism bad in hell.

Tv guy: better episode time than most of the other characters to the point where I suspect multiple writers to have been put in the time out chair

Nifty: Gir redux but with none of the heart

Vaggie: they were going for a wholesome lesbian relationship or toxic codependency and managed to do neither well. She has the weakest vocal performance, the name thing is bad, I thought she was supposed to be based off an owl or bird of prey but apparently not?

Mimzy: why are you even here

Lucifer: design so bad he falls into the background when he should stand out THE MOST. No episode, saying you're depressed and estranged from your daughter isn't an emotive beat you have to Show that by doing things.

There's so much I could say about carmella, the overlords, the other V's, adam, heaven in general, the over-designed incidentals, the exorcists, but I'm TIRED.

Alistor.

Man. This fucking guy.

His ethos is one of the worst in that hes just dripping in conflicting ideas from toe to head. He's based off voodoo? He's the 'coolest' one?!?!? He's word salad. Eldritch, forest, radio, dapper, fox like, the teeth, the staff, the vocal filter, he's a deer????! cannibal chaotic neutral shadow manipulator play pretty. He takes valuable screen time from everyone to blow keyframes and my time in being the 'coolest' most bad ass for real bro made in a lab to clinch a demographic annoyance.

Where do you go when you die in hell? If you died in heaven do you go back there? Nobody tried to crack getting into heaven before? Expediting a culling six months when you do it every year isn't as punitive as it comes off, where are the steaks? Why does charlie care so much about hell? Where are 'her people'? Why does charlie know that heaven wants to quell an uprising? Why don't angels know they can be hurt? Why does Vaggie not know? Why aren't people in hell doing like. Actual for real bad things most of time? You have a whole town of cannibals, something that's pretty rare, but barely anyone on any kind of watch list. Why is Lucifer estranged when he's clearly just awkward and it gets better almost immediately? Why does charlie not know anything about her country despite living there?

Auhhhhgh okay I'm done, I'm done. Like I'm frustrated okay!!!

[shattered-system]

The “Redefinition” of Systempunk

Updated version!

We're not typically an essay kind of blog, but there's something l've been turning over in my mind since l've seen it.

I have the post pulled up now actually, and about 11 hours ago @/the-alarm-system "recoined" (stole) the term systempunk in a long post, as well as designed a flag with its own meaning and I want to sort through some of it.

I also have a few personal pet peeves about their flag design, given that it's color palette clashes and the flag is way too busy. I don't expect it to spread far given that it violates several rules of good design (saying this as someone who has been to school for graphic design.)

I will not post it here, because I don't care to spread it any more than this post already may.

Their flag slightly predates my own version of the systempunk flag, but given that theirs was created for a separate concept with a stolen name, I maintain that we were the first.

We begin with their definition of systempunk.

“A term or Subculture surrounding the liberation of plurals and the critique of psychiatry."

First issue lies here. Both the destigmitization of dissociative disorders and critique of the psych field are extremely important discussions to have!

But they are separate discussions. There is absolutely overlap, but combining the two here is kind of shooting yourself in the foot, because then the conversation in that tag will be disorganized.

Have a systempunk movement AND an anti-psych or psych-critical movement. That way people can easily find the relevant discussions and terms.

This is followed up with a bit about the harm the psychiatric field has caused (not delving into that as that's not what this blog is about) and then circle back onto "the future is plural."

This is not one of the instances where OP means it in the "the future is destigmitization" sense, as they are pro endo. (On a side note, even ignoring the endo use of the phrase-- if I need to read about a slogan to understand the meaning of the slogan, it's a bad slogan. The point of a slogan is to communicate a concept quickly.)

The flag has black and brown stripes akin to the progress flag to represent systems of color, which is the only part of the design we have no critique for, but are describing anyway just as a bit of information.

The purple stripe stands for:

“Endo solidarity... endogenic systems are continuously harmed by antis who remain uncritical of psychiatry."

Once again, we are mixing two expansive concepts into one term.

The term anti-endo doesn't imply a position one way or the other on the psychiatry discussion.

Some anti-endos swear by the DSM5, others don't. Anti-endo is a term that means anti-endo/ endo-critical. That is all it means.

There is a difference between holding the DSM as the complete authority on mental illness and saying that a trauma disorder is caused by trauma.

I'm not sure if OP knows that and is choosing to cast anti-endos in a bad light, or legitimately confused. However, OP is a syscourse blog who is on a lot of blocklists and is spammy in the tags, and has likely been blocked by anyone who isn't also out looking to pick immature fights. (This is a system who made a post in all caps calling for an endo raid on #systempunk.)

Continuing directly from the last quote:

“[Antis] are against the liberation of plurals and deny a plural future in order to push singlethood onto others."

It's possible OP is referring to final fusion, which the anti-endo community is not a monolith on either. Most people we've interacted with are supporters of functional multiplicity (including ourselves.)

Most likely however, they mean that anti-endos "push singlethood" by telling endogenics that they can't have a trauma disorder without trauma.

And I could go into a whole tirade about that, but dozens of systems have done it before and I doubt any pro-endos have gotten this far. I am writing this for the anti-endo and on-the-fence audiences.

Visit @antimisinfo's helpful masterpost for a list of legitimate sources.

OP seems to believe that by “forcing” this singlethood, we are contributing directly to the oppression of systems. Hypocritically, OP themselves are contributing directly to the oppression of trauma victims.

Endogenics are not part of the "diverse experiences of plurality” (we are diverse, but united in origin) given that they don't exist. And if they did, they would have such a fundamentally different experience than trauma-formed systems that both groups would need separate language and tags to have space to themselves.

And endos already have a well-established punk tag for themselves. It seems they won't be happy until they chase trauma victims out of every space they create for themselves and steal every term. They've already stolen even the medical terminology used for CDDs.

The yellow stripe of the flag is meant to represent those with actual CDDs. Once again, psych stuff is brought up. However, I do agree with OP that those who do not want final fusion should not be pushed into it.

The pink and white stripes of the flag are entirely dedicated to anti-psych points. I think this would do wonderfully on it's own flag. But bringing the large range of discussion the anti-psych movement encompasses and the large range of discussion the CDD community has into the same tags is going to make it monumentally difficult to find the conversations you're wanting to have, and weaken both communities considerably.

There is a line of barbed wire across the flag that is partially for the same anti-psych movement as well as in favor of protecting and defending endogenic "identities." The ampersand stands for plurality.

There are fangs on the flag as well, encouraging systems to be loud and proud about their existence. And I agree that systems should make themselves known. However, endogenic systems don't exist, and their promotion will continue to drag us down.

I have read testimonies about traumagenic (real) systems being fakeclaimed or denied treatment by healthcare experts who, through exposure to endos, came to the conclusion CDDs are fake entirely.

Real systems seeking treatment and help after a lifetime of horrific abuse are being denied care.

Not to mention the setback of social acceptance by endos.

“Force plural liberation down the throats of others. Force the future to be plural."

[lil-binuu]

If he hits you once

TRIGGER WARNING: manipulation, possessiveness, domestic violence.

I'm a little late to the yandere party (sorry @peppymintdreams i couldn't help it)

This is fiction, not canonically accurate, and not romantic. (I do NOT condone any romanticisation of any kind of abuse.)

If you're underage, be weary as this is quite heavy and not like my usual content.

It is a bit weird to write this stuff, but I wanted to explore the idea of what barista would do in a situation where they realise that their life is not, in fact, a wattpad story and sometimes you can mistake someone who is actually really dangerous and a horrible person, as someone who you love.  And while ofc, this is not Elias canonically, i still wanted to write what he could be like as a more realistic person - especially because the abuse from his father would have affected him regardless, whether it turned into his own aggression or not.

830 words

packing your things to move to another safe house has brought up the topic of your freedom.

“Elias-“

“I’m doing this to keep you safe.”

He already knew what you were trying to talk about. 

“I- I know, but- I want to have freedom. I need to have freedom.”

“You already do.” He replied, blunt and rude. 

“No, I don’t. I can’t speak to my friends, or family, I can't even go outside.”

“You can’t when it’s this dangerous. Do you have any idea how easily you could die if I’m not there to protect you?” 

You hesitated. “I-I know, but I-”

“You don’t stand a chance out there, not without me.” 

You swallowed. You knew Elias was protecting you in a way you couldn’t yourself, but he didn’t have to say it like that. 

Elias stepped towards you, taking your hand. “You know I just want to protect you.” 

You nodded, eyes dropping to the floor. “I know.” 

“So let’s not fight about this.” He wrapped his arms around you in a hug. “You know I’m right anyway. You’re weak, Y/n. You can’t look after yourself, you need me.” 

You frowned. Maybe it was true and you just couldn’t accept it. Elias was there to protect you, why would you try to argue otherwise? He only wants what’s best for you. 

Elias pulled back, facing you with his eyebrows raised, expecting. 

“I’m sorry.” You answered, fulfilling his request. 

But why should you be sorry? It was a legitimate worry, your freedom. Didn’t Elias want you to have freedom too?  

“Come on, we need to keep packing.”

Elias turned away from you, back to the bag he was packing full of clothes. You couldn’t  allow him to change the subject, not when your freedom was at stake.

“Elias,” you sighed, “I wasn’t done talking-“

“Well I am.” His raised voice thundering over your own.

You don’t think Elias had ever spoken to you like this before. Like he didn’t even care about you.

“You can’t make me live like this!”

“I can and I will.” His words cut into you like a knife. This was a side of Elias you had never seen. 

He had never spoken to you like this before. He had never argued with you, never disregarded your feelings, but all of a sudden your concerns were dismissed. Your voice was dismissed.

You could only stand there and stare at him. 

“It doesn’t have to be like-“

“Are you trying to get yourself killed? Elias shouted, shutting you down completely.

“You seriously think you would still be alive if it weren’t for me?” 

Your frustration got the better of you.

“I don’t need you to protect me!” You yelled. 

A hand came down quickly onto your face. 

You froze. 

The side of your face almost numb from the impact. You could hardly register what just happened. 

You slowly looked back to Elias, swallowing as tears began to flood your eyes. 

His chest rising and falling quickly, you could see how angry he was. But did he just hit you? 

After protecting you for so long, promising to keep you safe, you never thought Elias would be the one to hurt you. 

Maybe you shouldn’t have protested against him so much. You didn’t need to anger him, if only you just listened to what he said without complaining. 

But his anger was now imprinted on your skin. 

Elias took a step towards you, reaching out his arm. Instantly you brought up your hands in front of your face. 

“Baby, why’d you flinch?”

You looked at him through the barrier of your arms, bringing your defence down as you realised he hadn’t hit you a second time. 

“I- I..” You choked on your excuse, tears rolling down your face.

“Baby?” He exclaimed, his bittersweet concern almost mocking.  

“You know I would never hurt you, right?” 

You blinked up at him, confused and scared.

He wouldn’t hurt you? He wouldn’t? But your face was red and stinging.

“B-but.. You..” Your hand raised to the side of your face, gently touching the injury. 

“Ah, but I didn’t mean to. I just got so angry, babe. You know I can’t help it.” 

“W- what?” you whispered, searching his eyes. 

He leaned down to your face. 

“Don’t argue with me and you won’t get hurt.” 

You finally realised what you had gotten yourself into. Elias wasn’t some protector, no, he was just another man who made empty promises to keep you around. His words were just lies, sweet lips and a sweet voice in the hopes that you would believe his sweet facade. 

Now you just felt stupid. Why on earth would you think that putting your heart and soul into someone like him would work out? It doesn’t matter how much you like him, under all the leather and chains, he’s just another man with issues.  

And you knew you needed to leave. There was nothing else for you to do.

Silently, you continued to pack. But you weren’t going to a safe house or staying with Elias any longer. You were getting out.

yualll this is kinda shit but whatev

Remember; If they hit you once, they'll hit you again.

And to all of my beautiful people out there, if someone treats you badly in any way it's never ever because of you and you are not alone. Call me up i'll beat their ass. Stay safe <3

[madlori]

Here's where I am with Buddie.

[CW: I am using the Buddie tag on this post, even though the gist of it is that I'm increasingly doubtful that it'll ever happen. This is NOT an anti-Buddie essay. If you'd rather not read about this topic, please keep scrolling. The bulk of the essay is behind the cut.]

-------

I've thought a lot about this over the weeks since 7x04 aired. It's not a secret that I'm wildly enthusiastic about the BuckTommy pairing (as are many fans) but what does that mean for my thoughts and opinions about Buddie, a pairing I still love and for which I am still writing fic (slowly but surely…)?

It's become increasingly difficult to reconcile hopes for Buddie with dread for a BuckTommy breakup, but if the show managed to pull off a breakup that did not destroy me, I would still be all in for a Buddie endgame.

But more and more, I don't think it's in the cards, and I'm increasingly okay with that.

First off, I know it's a common assumption that Buck and Tommy have an expiration date, and that it cannot last. That may very well be the case, but…the show is not acting like it, nor are they presenting this arc as if it's short-lived. Episodes 4-6, while also being about other things (especially the amazing Madney wedding plot in 6) were also a bit of a trilogy about Buck discovering his sexuality and taking tentative steps into a relationship with another man. It didn't go…particularly smoothly, but the events of 7x06 where they were concerned had a completely different tone. They had a much more settled vibe in the karaoke club scenes, from Tommy's very boyfriendly "check-in" look before he had to leave, to Buck's casual/distracted "Be safe" (as if he's said this before) and just how they spoke to each other and touched each other was much more comfortable than in the coffee meetup. Which makes me think it's been a few weeks and they've seen each other a few times in the interim.

And then that kiss. Putting aside that it was juxtaposed with a literal wedding kiss, there was nothing uncertain or hesitant about it. It felt like a very arc-capping kiss, coupled with the reveal to the rest of Buck's friends and family, and the clear message was "Okay, they're done 'getting together' now, they are together and will be together going forward, even if we don't see Tommy every episode (much as we don't see Karen every episode)." We know Tommy will be around through the end of S8, if not in every remaining episode. After that, we'll see.

A lot of fans have viewed one of the guys coming out as queer to be a first step towards a Buddie future, but I have to say I've never been super comfortable with that logic. I've always thought that if they were going to get together, or both be revealed to be queer, it would have to be at the same time, with each other, via them getting together. The minute they pulled the trigger on Bisexual Buck, I immediately thought that this made Buddie far less likely. Why?

Because it would mean that the writers/showrunners would be making BOTH their "hot younger firefighter" characters queer…separately. In separate storylines. Distinct from each other. And I just don't see that happening. I'm not saying it SHOULDN'T happen. I'd be over the moon. I'm saying I think that's unlikely.

As much as it pains me to say it, I think Eddie will be written as straight and will continue to be written as straight. I don't disagree with the many examples of queer coding we've all seen - the problem is all of them can be just as easily interpreted as arising from a different trauma. Almost everything we've seen from him that could very legitimately be read as breadcrumbs for a queer identity for him could also be rooted in his trauma over Shannon's death, his family trauma, his PTSD, or his general anxiety over being enough for people. He can be read as having sexuality crises. But he can also be read as having other crises with the same results.

I'm not seeing a sexuality crisis for Eddie in the future. I just don't feel like that's where they're taking him. They're taking him somewhere -- he's got storylines coming up -- but I think they're going to have to do with his family, possibly his friendship with Buck, maybe his relationship (I think we can all agree Marisol isn't going to last, she's like the anti-Tommy in that she's been around way longer but has infinitely less of a presence), and Christopher. That's a lot to deal with just right there. If I'm wrong, I will be delighted to be wrong.

But.

I think the show will continue to prioritize and showcase Buck and Eddie's very deep and emotional friendship, which is revolutionary in its own quiet way. Another thing that makes me think they're setting Tommy up to be a long term love interest is that one of the first things they did with him was affirm that he will not come between Buck and Eddie, give him his own relationship with Eddie and Chris, and have him show that he understands and respects the depth of their bond. Not to mention they've integrated him with the firefam. No other of Buck's love interests have gotten this treatment (Taylor had the most contact with the firefam, but I don't think anyone would say she was integrated, LOL). And it shows how committed they are to maintaining Buck and Eddie's friendship as a key emotional element of the show. Tim has also said this, repeatedly.

People often say that there's no explanation for how Buck and Eddie are with each other if it's not romantic - I read a fantastic essay that pointed out that this statement is the reason their platonic friendship IS so important. Men should be able to be vulnerable and loving with each other without it being romantic, as women can be. If we're unable to see a loving friendship without interpreting it as romantic or sexual, what does that say about the kind of male friendships we see everywhere, that makes this one so different?

I know this is an old anti-Buddie argument and I'm not anti-Buddie nor do I mean it's wrong to see it as romantic. I still do. I'm saying if it's not, if it never is, what it is, is already valuable and special, especially when one of them is now openly queer and dating a man.

Anyway. That's where I am with it, and my interpretation of where the show is with it.

[hannahssimblr]

She’s with the cocaine guy now, the girl with the pink hair. Forlorn look on her face as she tries to get him to drink some water. I feel her eyes on me as I pass. Of course they know each other, those two. I should have guessed. They’re probably on the same drugs. 

Evie’s in the booths now, with Claire, Shane and Jen. A jolt of anxiety at the sight of her there beside her bags of gifts, still crushed into the corner of the seats, but I adopt a nice casual stride over, drop onto the seat beside her.

“Hey,” she says, and smiles faintly before gazing across the bar to the table I just passed, brows knitting.

“Yeah, hey."

I nudge her gently. 

“Hey, who are those two? They’re a bit… intense.”

“Oh, they’re… from college.”

“Okay, well, can I be honest?”

“Yeah,” eyes on me now.

“That girl is weird. She was telling me about her polyamorous relationship and how her boyfriend is into bondage. Offered to tie me up in his house if I came home with them.”

Evie’s face twitches, then smooths out into something neutral, like a learned response. “Hm, okay. And what did you say to that?”

“Obviously I was like, fuck yes. Gimme some of that.”

She tries to smile, but it flattens. She tucks her hair behind her ear, looks away. “Okay, well, that’s clearly the only acceptable response.”

“Yeah, good offer, right?”

“Right. And him?” She gestures toward the guy, forehead on the table now, the girl scanning the place desperately for someone else. “Did he say something to you?” 

“Not really, just tried to sell me bag in the toilets.” 

“Oh.”

“I actually walked in on him trying to do a bump off the wall mirror.”

Her palm comes to her forehead. “Oh, God,” she breathes. “Sorry, I actually am just feeling a bit stupid.”

“What? Why?”

“No, I just thought he was drunk.”

“Um,” another glance at him, probably completely unconscious at this point. “He’s probably drunk, too, but nah, he’s out of it, Evie. No doubt. I saw him–yeah, it’s definitely drugs.” 

“Oh, well, that’s awful then.”

I can’t help smiling a bit. Seeing an innocence in her distress, finding it a bit endearing. An urge comes to comfort her about it, teeth worrying at her lip like a puritanical fourteen year old who just found out her friend went rogue and tried a cigarette. 

“It’s not that awful though, is it?” I say, dipping my head to level my gaze with hers. “You know, a bit of coke. It’s–everyone does it a bit, don’t they?” 

“What do you mean?”

“I thought you’d know since you live here now, is all.” 

She scoffs in outrage, indignant that others would have the temerity. “Well excuse me, but am I the only one who actually cared about the anti-drug posters hanging up in school? Of the woman with the horrible scabs all over her face? I couldn’t look at it. I had to avert my eyes if it was lunchtime, or whatever, and I was trying to eat a sandwich.”

I want very badly to laugh, but her face is so serious. Huff instead, an easy shrug, like, yeah, fair point. “I suppose some people get scabbed up a bit, to be honest, yeah. That’s a legitimate concern. Still, people will do whatever is fun. I think you’d probably have what’s considered quite an extreme view.”

“Do you do them?”

I blink. “Drugs?”

“Yes.”

Pick a thread in my jeans. From catching myself on a nail in some customer’s stairwell. “I have done, yeah. Not lately.”

“Hm.”

“Have I changed in your eyes?” 

“No, it’s… like. I just hate to feel naïve.”

“It’s fine.”

She brings her fingers to her nose, pinching at her nostrils. Like she’s wiping away phantom powder. Her nails are short, bitten-looking. “Maybe I should get with the times and start doing them, you think?” 

I laugh. “Yes, Evie. Very much your style.”

“Can’t imagine it, either.” A shake of her head, a look of amusement in her eyes, as she tries to picture it. Impossible. Like if Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls lit up a smoke. Makes me want to laugh—the absurdity, until a wave of protectiveness hits me. Glancing again at the table with those two as the backs of my hands prickle. Strange dread. A sort of knowing. 

She squeezes her hand, flexes it before reaching across the table for her drink. I remember that specific gesture. I learned she did it when she was nervous. When someone in the group asked her a question. Before she leaped off the rocks into the sea. She did it with me when she knew I was about to kiss her, neon light glowing through her ears like paper. Looking so serious, like kissing me back was something that required thought and preparation. It nearly killed me how soft she was. Now I don’t know what she is. 

“Whatever you do, make sure it’s because you want to. Not because of anyone else,” I say, then shrink, instantly cringing. Who am I, her dad? Sounding so superior, but I can’t help the way my voice is. How it reflects this horror I feel of these weird people circling her in the water. 

We both fall quiet for a beat, music thudding around us. Stupid lyrics, Shawty fire-burning on the dancefloor, or whatever her current dilemma is. I shouldn’t have said anything to Evie. Should have said “cool” or something, then I wouldn’t have sounded like a cop.  

“All I want to do is leave this party, to be honest,” she says, hands moving now to her stomach, chuckling at herself. “I’m so hungry. All I can think about is food.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m starving.” 

“You want to get some?”

Her expression is timid, embarrassed to have to say it. “Nah, it’s too late. Everywhere is probably closed.” 

Slip my phone from my pocket, then. It’s near one AM. “There’s places still open for sure. We can get the gang moving, if you want.”

Her lips curl into a smile. “I feel so bad saying it, but yeah, I actually do want to go. Is that rotten of me?”

“No, never.” I wave across to the others, deep in their own conversation. “Food,” I yell. “We’re getting food. Are you guys in?”

“Are you mad?” says Jen. “After that feast we had earlier? No, I’m good. You go.” The others nod. 

I turn back to Evie. “You okay if it’s just me?”

A flicker of something—panic?—crosses her face before it smooths into something practiced. My God. When did she learn to hide like that?

“It’s grand,” she says. “Yeah, we can go. I really just want food in me.” She finds her coat in the pile and stands up to shrug into it. “Claire, we’ll meet you back here in, like, half an hour.”

Claire looks startled. “You sure?”

“Yeah.”

I find my coat, too. Struggle into it and zip it all the way up, feeling the whole time Shane’s eyes on the side of my face. I look at him. “You better mind her,” he says. Joking voice, sure, but his eyes harbour a distinct threat. 

“Christ, Shane, relax,” Evie says. “He’ll hardly let me get killed at the kebab shop.”

We move towards the exit then, together, the sleeve of my puffer coat pressing into hers for a moment on the stairs, past party-goers slumped across the steps, boots kicked off, tights laddered at the toes. 

“You don’t mind abandoning your own birthday thing?” I say, and Evie laughs.

“No, not at all,” she says. “Get me out of here, quick.”

“Let’s go, then.” I hold the door for her, and we step out, shoulder to shoulder, onto the snowy street.

Beginning // Prev // Next

Corresponding LG Chapter

[pureshadough]

beast yeast 10 liveblog

Heard there's women in this one!

okayyyyy the beast raid being explicit canon is. innnnnteresting. Wonder if this suggests anything for the previous ones or no

light of passion voice HOLLYBERRY THE SHIELD IS A METAPHOR HOLLYBERRY WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK BEHIDN YOU. SHE HAS HER [NIHILISM] IN SHE CANT HEAR US

Alright.

DIED 2020 BORN 2025 WELCOME BACK COOKIES WARS

YOU.

her korean voice is gorgeous but she's also seemingly voiced by Erica Mendez (white lily & black pearl's VA) in english which is. fucking hilarious

it is embarrassing how excited i am to see her here right now. I missed shadow milk cookie.

whuo in the Fuck is this referring to

THEY FUCKING HATE EACH OTHER!! YES YEEEEEESSSS FUUUUCK YESSSSS

So he just called it obsessive love per personal experience. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

I'M *TELLING YOU* THEY'RE EXES

Girl we have a word for this and its called alcoholism

....oooooooooh that. Wow. Alright.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME

okay the fact it looks like there's vanillian pilgrims here is Terrifying?

Condensing my thoughts over a few levels down a bit just to talk about sugarfly. She's so mippy. really adore how they've explored the idea of a beast's minion defecting here and sugarfly as the subject being a character arguably representative of stockholm syndrome is such an interesting lens to view it through. Even when acting on the hollyberrians side it never seems like she really knows exactly what she wants or needs and knowing how thats rooted in depression long before she fell to sloth is a heavy hitter too. I really really like her. I think she might even usurp black sapphire as being my favorite minion and im not even done with the chapter yet LOL

a nap like this would fix me i think

sugar having this argument with hb right now and thinking God damn it if I let that clown prove himself right.

....Oh! That's a fucking awesome use of the requirement mechanic actually. Hell yeah.

HOW INCREDIBLY INTERESTING FOR SHADOW MILK TO BRING UP AND BE LOOKING FOR THIS EFFECTIVE APPLE OF EDEN WHEN SHE SHOWED UP EARLIER.

Wow! This is fucking Horrific!!!

Sugar is EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE at what she does. Sinking her teeth STRAIGHT into hollyberry's war trauma and framing every single hardship and loss as being in HER HANDS if she tries to leave her side. Legitimate textbook domestic psychological abuse tactics. Holy shit.

PITAYA MENTION ���🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

holly thinking of/hallucinating(?) white lily in this context is Fascinating in a way we don't have time to dissect rn but by god will i be thinking about it

i ADORE how talkative hollyberry and passion are!!!! it is genuinely such a fun window into how much her bonds matter to her decision making and state of mind such that it extends to her very own virtue. they surely have to talk with each other more than any of the other ancients do with theirs and it is delightful to read

I love her so fucking much.

i think we have a new winner of Worst Possible Fumble And Ensuing Crashout

yknow oomf kye made comment earlier that this might very well be the most explicit romance in the entire game period and it was Sort of a joke at the time but i think any room for doubt is completely eliminated at this point.

heart genuinely clenched reading this

aauasdksjhcgahgufuffbghfguaghkfbjhfgjfghfbhjbdgfafsdfgbjashfgdjhcbnasdhjasfd,

????!?!?!??!?!?!? ALRIGHT MAN! PUBERTY SPEED RUN!

So that was I think need a drink. Hollyberry needed a win for a LONG while now and this chapter has delivered in spades. This was so tightly packed and well executed that I think its usurped beast yeast 8 as being my favorite? No comments on that extra teaser scene with sugarfly here because I am straight up out of iamges and had to cut several joke comments from this post to keep it in limit as is but asauifgsdjhfSDFHJGSDFJKSDGSDGSFGB. FUCK. FUUUUUUCK. I am scared shitless of how this is all gonna wrap up and I WILL be seated.