#i am just. i am just sitting at my desk
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anyone solved the mystery of feet still cold in wool socks and slippers bc i would like to be free of this hell. tbh
#jay yells#i cannot fucking WIN#basement bedroom so sexy when it's not boiling in the summer and so unsexy when perpetually cold feet#i am just. i am just sitting at my desk#in my wool socks and slippers#space heater on#absolutely frigid toes#despite it all#sigh
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your webkinz missed you! 🌈
#mspaint mouse doodlie#my art#oc: tilly#dog#webkinz#fursona#furry#ive been wanting to make a webkinz themed art for a bit so i tried to just doodle one in spaint#i wish i couldve tilted the head like Real Webkinz Smiling but regardless i am happy with it :03#2000s#webcore#internetcore#?#i think ive seen those tags on webkinz posts#idk ive been feeling nostalgic and playing again#its still fun#my little virtual animals that also sit on my desk
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Unfortunately now that I’ve finally seen it, I 100% cannot stand the Solavellan ending and like I knowww that’s in large part because I’ve been functioning on a different level with the ship the entire time but it’s just sooo forgiving of Solas and sooo tragic for Lavellan and does not include the most fascinating element of their dynamic to me which is ‘Solas starts to see the value of the current world because of how much Lavellan loves it and is so deeply part of it’ and in fact fully discards it because Lavellan just fucks off to fade prison for “true love”
#datv spoilers#datv critical#it is not the worst thing about the datv ending (that’s the secret ending doing character assassination) but listen#I have spent so many years loving Lavellan in a ‘framed photo on my desk for over five years’ sort of way#and the entire game just feels so cruel to her (and those who loved the past games because wtf do you mean everyone is Ferelden is dying)#and then to have her end reward to All The Shit The World Has Done To Her For Over A Decade#is fade prison??? leaving it all behind for fade prison because she’ll get her kisses in???#anyways I think the solavellan ending should be that solas binds his godhood to the veil to sustain it and goes to live a mortal life with#lavellan and her dalish tribe and just shutting up about how things should be and how the dalish don’t understand#and just accepting how their culture is good and beautiful just as it is#and lavellan gets to share what she loves and build a beautiful normal life#they can sit under the tree planted for the death of my lavellan’s mother and watch her nephews play and enjoy both how even if the world#is radically different and was broken it has grown into something worth loving and#that all the effort lavellan expended to save everything was worth it#anyways I can and will talk about datv for hours but alas it is not in the same ways I can about dragon age in general#I am biting biting biting biting biting forever#brain thoughts
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drawing again for the first time in like a month 😭😭😭😭 me (ideal) and my actual ootd……..
#got a refurbushed ipad today and i’ve never felt so alive…… jk but i am in love#ipad fan but anti-apple 🤦#i loooove procreate sm . miss csp always tho i just don’t want to sit at my desk recently bc my bedroom’s workspace is just cozier :<#my art#digital art#illustration#artists on tumblr
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Expect clip posting to slow down due to irl nonsense.
Also from the 11th to the 18th I won’t have any computer access and very little internet access but I’ll schedule a couple clips beforehand for that week 🫡
#idk how often the posts will be. maybe 3-4 a week#12 hr workday + no real privacy in my room#means I could only edit late at night#or on the weekend#and it feels like such a waste of my tiny bit of free time#to be sitting at my desk pretending to do something as I wait for my mom to gtfo of my room#I think all the typing makes her suspicious idk man#it made what should have taken 45 mins take up to 2 hrs sometimes#so I will be attempting to do all my editing on friday/saturday and queue the posts#what I’ve been doing is scheduling 2-4 days of posts at a time#but like I said. doing it during the weekday is extremely time consuming due to being watched :p#on the weekends she’s less nosy and I can just wait for her to be asleep lol#if tumblr didn’t have an audio upload limit then I could just go all out for like 3 hrs and have a big queue lined up#it will actually take me less time to edit on a friday/saturday just cause I won’t be interrupted at all at nignt. lol.#tldr: I have very little free time and am interrupted constantly during the week#it will be easier for me to edit late at night on the weekend#and schedule the posts throughout the week#at the cost of no more daily posts (blame tumblr audio limit)#non voice post
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Hey, Arc is really good. Did you guys know that Arc is good?
#it's good.#i actually got up from my desk and did a little twirl around about it#and then felt so embarrassed i had to stop watching for a second and just sit and steeple my hands like gendo ikari#this isn't like. useful information or anything. i just wanted you to know my pain.#i haven't even seen the sad robot yet#but OH BOY am i looking forward to it a normal amount
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tagged by @melrosing to list 9 books I want to read this year…
tagging um… @calicobunnyrabbit @sanlupo @kulliare @pngjpeg ?
#I am not that literate it is embarassing. but at least I read. I met my goal this year#I am most excited abt sudden death… you dreamed of empires was my favorite book I read last year and it is the same author + translator duo#I HAVE 100 yrs of solitude it is SITTING ON MY DESK and I forgot it when I left for christmas#heretics of dune is unrealistic bc I’m so sick of duncan idaho. but I want to power through#idrc abt lotr but my brother loves it so I would like to read it for him#same with dracula#he also really likes moby dick but I just don’t think i can do that to myself#I don’t plan that far in advance so some of these I may not read in favor of other stuff I impulsively pick up. we’ll see.
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i have to read to my cat everyday for 30 minutes now for her to take a nap like im a fucking podcast to listen to for her to fall asleep. and i tried audiobooks and she doesn't care for it so now i am sitting here reading out loud king in yellow to placate her.
#teeth chattering#she also has a temper tantrum chair which is right next to my desk and where i sit because she can't be on my desk#there isn't enough space and i thought it was her mirroring no she just wants to be really close#and she throws a temper tantrum if the chair is too far away and cries like i have abandoned her on the side of the road.#....at least now i am reading again.#....now if i travel i have to prerecord fucking me reading out loud books so it can calm her down.#cats
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sometimes i think about my professor that used to like lowkey have a crush on me (he was at least 55.) last semester and every time i tell my friends about the stuff he did towards me i realize how u incredibly not normal that was
#🎀 - mello talks too much#OKAY NOTHING TOO BAD DONT WORRY#he asked me to take him to the airport one time and drive his car back to his house#he also would stand next to me during tests and just like watch me#like i’m not exaggerating#just WATCH me#at the desk next to me#and then he told me i smelled really good#and then he tried to give me a multitude of answers during the test#and then when i was sitting with my friend he like literally sat on the table i was at and starting talking to me like we are friends#and then he would be like ”he mello TEXT me and remind me to send out homework” like hello?? i’m not texting you??#and one time when i got my haircut he announced to everyone in my lab how he noticed n how good it looked#and NOW i see him sometimes and he steps on my foot and always says hi to me im in front of everyone#and he is so loud#so everyone in my bio class looks at me#also he zipped up my backpack for me like 2 days ago#which doesn’t sound weird but paired with everything else he did#AND THEN he asked for me to come to his field trip with his ecology class#which like#????#what#and he calls me smart like all the time#yeah#he was a strange guy#still see him which is insane#i am totally forgetting more this#things
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extremely fucked up and eveil that whenever I mirror my canvas my art looks like I drew in italics.
#i AM aware of it. and i am not going to fix it.#just pretend you don't see it#or pretend it's part of the vibe. idk.#idk what's causing this but I choose to blame my cat sitting on my desk and limiting my range of movement
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Some days I'm like nah this fibro is nothing and other days I'm out of breath just sitting
#like why am i fighting for my life when im just sitting at my desk#i need to lie down#i can't wait for the weekend#im gonna rot on tje couch the whole time#get some very needed rest#chronic pain#chronic illness#chronically ill#im so tired#fibromyalgia#fibro
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General reminder to other scrunched up sitters like me. Please do try and sit with your legs out and stretch your hamstrings once in a while if you can.
Maybe now even if you are able and have time
Brought to you by the startling realization I couldn't sit up at a 90° angle again without my legs screaming
And a few nights of wondering what I did to get sore legs turns out I just hadn't stretched
#self care#self care callout#it thows me constantly because i am surprisingly flexible in most ways#except my hamstrings and maybe hips are ridiculously tight like all the time#can i fold my 5 ft 10 self into a locker or under a desk still? yeah mostly.#can i reach behind me at really odd angles and get things with either hand or even my foot? sure#can i sit in an L shape with my legs flat and straight in front of me? absolutely not#my core strength is weirdly sucky too. can i hold weird poses for gremlin reasons? ye#can i do anything useful? no lmao#i guess my one arm has slightly reduced range of motion too still from the break cause i didnt do physio#but its not awful and doesnt hurt nearly as much anymore. i just cant quite do bullshit like i used to
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I also have your notifs on ❤❤
Your posts and Idololivine's were the reason I decided to join the tumblr nuca community as well! Always puts a smile on my face :)) (I'm the same anon as the one who binged your entire account that one time)
*WHIPS MY HEAD AROUND* you're still here?!??! *yells at the back room like i'm running a deli* OI IDOLOLIVINE? YA HEAR THAT??? THIS ANON wANTS TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOU
#feesh answer#do i have idololivine in the back room? we can dream#maybe my kitchen has infinite portals to unknown lands and entities far beyond my articulatory capabilitessesis#bruh..... you joined a thing.... and i partially persuaded you into this strange little offshoot of a corner of a fandom#YOU ARE STILL ENTERTAINED?!?!?!?!#well. like all things fandom. i hope u stay as long as u havin fun ehehehehehe#well now ALL of us have to sit in a room and stare at each other#except . now i have a face full of gummy worms#and the movement of my headwhip has caused my chair to start spinning at a barely perceptible speed#we are all sitting in an abandoned office building. the lights are off except for the hallway#i am conveniently seated in the centre of this donut-shaped desk#just.... slowly rotating.... and chewing..... and contemplating how we reached this specific moment in time#the bag of gummies remains on the table . free to all. possibly a little stale. but still free to all
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sorry to log on n rant but i need to rant
#tbd.#ooc.#cw complaining#ignore the tags if u dont want to see how my life is going shdfhsf#so im doing my masters yeah#and im like. 75% thru#shouldve been done last month#but bc of the year ive had my uni adviser was rlly nice and sorted a way to extend my student status for another year#to get my dissertation done#like i did my 4 essays n now its just dissertation time#n i was supposed to start it now n get booked in with my mentor n stuff but i cant fucking log into the website#bc u need a MFA#and the MFA app my uni uses wont acknowledge me bc i have a different phone bc my phone broke#and a different number bc my phone contract got cut off#so idk what to do lol i cant log in and do anything#ive rang the IT desk for help 59w9er3424234 times#and everytime i get thru to the actual line n im taken off hold .. they hang up on me#idk if its a system error or my phone bc its a shit old one#but i cant do anything#and my universal credit claim got closed#non uk oomfs its a benefits system#n they help u with money to pay bills whether ur looking for work or unfit to work which is what my doctor said i am bc#my mental health and physical health combines to make me a super loser#n he thinks i might try to K word myself if i take too much on at once after eveerything#like i cant even sit and grieve my dad that died not even 6 months ago yet because i have to much shit to fucking do#like i cant afford to liven now#i cant pay my bills. they keep bouncing and coming back worse#i have debt collectors coming @ me#i am stuck in catch 22 man like not even my support workers can help me rn#and im very lucky that i own my own home bc of my car accident when i was 15 lol but everyone is just telling me to sell it
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There was a girl... Curious girl Her mind drifted away, her heart was on the run... --- Okay sorry I started with "This is a Story of a Girl" and then I saw the opening and I took it! I have been an avid fan of Visual Kei since 1999, going into Jpop and Kpop with TVXQ, Brown Eyed Girls and SHINee. Junsu and TaBlo brought me to Korean music through a commercial with BoA and Jin Bora. Anyways.. I have never bought an album. I wasn't raised in a very well off family, we were comfortable and if we worked at it we could get the cool videogames and anime and things but. It wasn't until I moved out that I could buy myself stuff. I've just always had other things I had to buy or put money towards. So.. I gave my husband the biggest kirakira eyes I could. And I got to purchase my first album. I am so pleased with how hard Jeff Satur, Studio on Saturn and the printing company/album designers worked for this. It is absolutely stunning! I get it. I get the joy and fun that comes out of these albums. I knew it was addictive. Not me smacking my hands over SHINee albums. Can I just say the PAPER QUALITY on this beast?! Hello!? It's wonderful. My texture sensitivities were like: Yas. Rub that poster--wait no that's weird. I take that back. Cut that out. Mar's Demons Say No. Everyone must see your true self.
#Jeff Satur#Space Shuttle no.8#Album#Studio on Saturn#Excuse any mess I tried to clean up#My desk is just called The Forest for a reason#The glow is two of my monitors and the glow from below is my PC Oolong#Say hello#Lmao#I am sitting here like#Is it sacrilege to use the stickers on your laptop?#Can I do that?#Will I hurt the aesthetic?#Help I have never had an album before#Also screaming about Sunshine#I haven't read the book in the album#War Did This To Me
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"I feel like the thoughts have always been there, but they're just so easy to recall now."
Beau getting that headband of intellect really was just "woe, arcane Ritalin be upon you" huh.
#source: my meds just kicked in#adhdax#I have been an anxious wreck all morning because it is spring#and I always lose it a bit in spring#the meds don't stop that but man they do smooth it out#for example I was able to recall this quote/make that connection#it's also why I was able to make so many connections in the form of fic#the thoughts are always there#I just can't reach them until I am medicated#I went from chugging my leg under the desk like a train engine to sitting so quietly I can hear my tinnitus
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