#i am just scared of making any sort of investment

[talonpaw]

every year i see people doing art fight and i think “wow i wish i was doing art fight :(“ and then i Don’t Do It

[gender-euphowrya]

huge dev update my grandma is gonna see a psychologist

[rafeandonlyrafe]

bruised knees

words: 2.1k

warnings: mentions of blowjobs, losing virginity, virgin!reader (but fic is not smut), jealous! and overprotective!rafe, childhood friends to lovers, fluffy

rafe has been beyond overprotective of you his whole life. ever since you met in first grade and you let him borrow your brand new crayon box, only for a bully to come up and tug on your pigtails, causing rafe to pause his coloring to shove him away and tell him not to touch you ever again.

you smiled at rafe, the same smile you look at him with now, and he knew he would take care of you no matter what. you hugged him tightly and from that day on always shared your crayons, and everything else you had, with your new best friend.

“ready?” rafe slings his arm around your shoulder, pulling you towards the boat.

“yes!” you squeal, trying to navigate holding your tote bag and backpack at once, when suddenly both are out of your hands as rafe takes them and carries them down the pier.

“rafe, i can carry my own stuff.” you roll your eyes. it's a losing battle, your best friend will always lessen your load, hating seeing you do any sort of physical labor, feeling like that's his job.

“yeah, whatever.” rafe just ignores your argument, it's one he's heard so many times before, yet you make no attempt to take the bags back. “who all did you invite again?” rafe asks as you enter onto the boat, quickly beginning preparations for the day at sea, having gone through the motions so many times, knowing the boat like the back of your hand even though it's the cameron familys.

“uhh, topper, tina, kelce, steph, tiffy and hayden.” you go through the list of names in your head of friends that will be joining you and rafe on the yacht.

“how is tiffy since the break up?” rafe asks, knowing you like to talk while you work, pulling various lines while you straighten up the boat to make it more presentable, going through the motions together, always together.

rafes question launches you into a gossip session with rafe, spilling all the secrets your friends told you at your last hang out, but they know you don't keep anything from rafe, so it's no surprise when he knows as well, not that any of the girls would complain, rafe often takes over the role of protector to your friends as well, caring about who you care about.

“there's hayden!” you call to rafe, pointing down the dock to the parking lot where haydens truck just pulled in, a few minutes earlier than you expected anyone to start arriving.

“great.” rafe mumbles under his breath, making sure you don't hear his upset tone. he liked hayden at first, sharing some common interests (mostly golf), but then hayden got far too touchy with you, his gaze heating when it turned to you in a way that infuriated rafe, and he made sure to show hayden when you weren't around how much it pissed him off.

rafe is probably to credit for you never having a boyfriend for an extended period of time, but he can't help it, you're so perfect and no guy can possibly deserve you, so he has to scare them off before you get too invested and give them all of your attention instead of him.

“hey, heyds.” you greet him with a hug after he makes his way down the pier, making rafe grunts as haydens hand rests a little too low on your back for his liking, making rafes mind reel at the possibility of something going on between the two of you.

your other friends slowly begin to pile onto the boat, steph being the last one to get there as she is notorious for being late, which is why you told her to show up half an hour before everyone else, and somehow still managed to get there last.

“ready for takeoff?” you ask rafe, stepping away to join him at the wheel while your group of friends find places to sit while rafe navigates the boat towards the ocean.

“i am.” rafe nods, having disconnected the last line. no matter what is happening, you always sit next to rafe on the bench as he directs the boat, ready to be his second in command at any moment, even if its just fetching him a drink or checking the water depth.

“i can’t wait to swim.” you say with a sigh, having not gotten out into the water all week, which is rare with how much peace you find in the ocean.

“how about that one sandbar we took wheezie to?” rafe questions, wanting you to decide where he anchors the boat.

“ooh, yes.” you nod.

“she complained to me last night that you weren’t over.” rafe smiles at you when you let out a laugh.

“i don’t spend one friday night and she complains! ugh, i love that girl.” you grin thinking about wheezie, treating her like she’s your own little sister, having known her since she was born.

“you’ll stay tonight, right?” rafe asks, missing you sharing his bed like you do every weekend. 

“mhm, i’m not driving home after being out on the boat all day, gonna be so exhausted.” you roll your eyes.

rafe smiles at you, wrapping one arm around his shoulder, leaving him to drive with one hand, but wanting you close to him, secretly hoping hayden would look through the windows from the lower deck and see you all cuddled up into his side.

neither of you have ever broached the topic of taking things beyond just friendship, despite rafe desperately wanting to take things further, he doesn’t want to mess up the one good thing he has in his life. you’re such a source of brightness that when you’re around him he forgets all about his fights with his dad, or issues with barry.

“here.” rafe nods to you, immediately going to drop the anchor, planning to stay in one spot all day.

you help him make sure its secure before moving to the main deck with everyone else. “alright, who is ready to swim?” you shout with glee.

“you know i am.” hayden smirks at you, pulling his shirt off over his head.

“mhm, that’s why i like you, not afraid to get wet.” you say, rafe carefully watching the interaction, unsure if you meant the innuendo or not.

you take your tshirt off as well, tossing it onto the pile that everyone is making on the sofa, revealing swimsuits underneath their clothes. rafe also undresses, but slowly and quietly.

you tug your yoga pants down next, having kicked your shoes off upon entering the boat. you turn towards rafe, always checking in with him, seeking him out amongst the crowd.

rafe smiles at you, his eyes dropping subtly down your body, quickly checking out your pale lilac swimsuit before he sees a different shade of purple, this time blossoming around your knees.

hayden seems to notice too, a smirk growing on his face when he sees the localized bruises.

“what the fuck did you do?” rafe grunts out before he can stop himself and use the calming methods you so carefully taught him.

“what?” hayden turns to look at rafe, but he’s already charging at him. rafe shoves hayden backwards, making him stumble but he manages to maintain his footing.

“rafe, chill!” you shout, grabbing at his arm.

“did he-did you fucking blow him?” rafe questions, pointing to your knees. “how did you get those bruises?” “jesus, rafe!” you take a step back, but don’t drop your grip on his arm, not sure if he would try to pull away. “you seriously ask me that in front of all our friends? for your information i was working out in the garden yesterday and bruised my knees kneeling on the pavers. but thanks for embarrassing me.”

you drop his arm when you feel tears welling in your eyes, quickly turning and sprinting into the interior of the boat.

you throw yourself onto the bed in one of the two bedrooms, hiding your face in the white pillow as you cry. 

“y/n…” rafe says softly. you don’t jump at his voice, you expected him to follow you, but you don’t feel like talking to him.

“please, y/n.” rafe pleads, and you feel his weight dip the bed down as he climbs onto the mattress.

“stop it.” you whine when rafe pulls you into him, but you don’t struggle as he cuddles into you, pressing a kiss against your hair. you’ve cuddled rafe before, of course since you’ve been friends for so long, but never with this little clothing on, and you are very aware of how much of his bare skin is touching yours.

“i didn’t mean to embarrass you, y/n. i just… i just got so angry thinking about you possibly doing anything with hayden. i don’t like him. he’s not good enough for you.”

“why would you even think i would do that though? you know im a virgin.”

the words shock rafe, and you can physically feel him tense up. you pick up your head to look at him, brows furrowed together.

“i-i didn’t know that.” rafe just assumed you lost it to one of your short term boyfriends.

“no… no i would have told you, rafey. you’re my best friend, i… you told me when you lost yours.” you remind rafe of when he was 16 years old and had sex for the first time, calling you only an hour after to confide in you, partly hoping you would get jealous.

“i thought you knew that i wouldn’t want to hear about you sleeping with someone. i guess i just figured you kept it to yourself for my sake.” rafe doesn’t realize the implication of his words as they flow from between his lips.

“why would i?- wait… you like me?” you blink up at him.

rafe pauses. now is as good as time as any, especially with the growing threat of hayden and other guys who aren’t scared of rafe potentially taking you away from him. “yes. i love you. i think i’ve loved you since first grade.” “holy shit, you asshole!” you shout, and it’s not the reaction rafe was expecting as he tenses, waiting for you to run off, or get mad, but instead your shout turns into a laugh, “i can’t believe you didn’t tell me sooner!” and then your lips are on his, finally feeling the perfect meld of your mouths together as rafe quickly snaps into action, his lips moving against yours as he cups your face.

“i love you too, in case it wasn’t obvious.” you whisper against his mouth before resuming the kiss.

“thank fuck, i was ready to murder hayden just because i thought you liked him.” rafe laughs, tugging on your waist to bring your bodies even closer together, leaving his large hand resting against your bare back.

“pshht.” you shake your head. “he’s not even half the man you are.” 

“holy shit, i love you.” rafe repeats, taking you in for another kiss.

“my friends are never gonna believe that we finally got together.” you giggle. “i think they’ve all placed bets.”

“your friends?” rafe shakes his head. “baby, i think even our parents have.”

“i… i’m really happy we admitted are feelings.” you say shyly, a blush covering your cheeks as you look down, breaking eye contact. “everyone told me that you liked me too but i was too nervous to ruin what we had.”

“hey, it’s okay.” rafe says softly. “we have forever this way.”

you feel tears well up in your eyes again as you wrap your arms around rafe, pressing your head into his bare chest.

“gosh, i can’t wait to go tell everyone.” you admit with a giggle.

“yeah? wanna go get in the water too?” rafe asks, unsure if your friends waiting for your argument to be over to swim.

“hell yeah.” you slide off the bed, rafe taking a minute to check out your body, not hiding his heated gaze as you catch him.

“holy shit, you are checking me out!” 

“duh, you’re my girl now.” rafe smirks, also getting off the bed, placing an arm around your shoulder. “gonna give you bruised knees for a different reason, baby.”

“wait, rafe-” you begin, suddenly not feeling like swimming anymore, but he pulls you out onto the deck, seeing all your friends sitting awkwardly on the sofas, waiting for whatever argument to be over with.

“don’t worry baby.” rafe drops his mouth to your ear, making sure your friends can’t hear. “we can talk about that virginity of yours later.” rafe doesn’t give you a second to respond, placing his fingers on your chin and tilting your head towards him to press a kiss to your lips to the chorus of all of your friends letting out woops and claps, along with shouts of “finally!”

“i told you!” tiffy shouts, holding her hand out towards stephanie. “you owe me 20 bucks!”

taglist: @winterrrnight @bejeweledreverie @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @emma77645 @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk @starkeysheart

[pizzabox-box]

Fake Peppino and his clones part II

First part! You should read it if you haven't!

Alright so, fully fledged Peppi-no clones..oh boy.Let's dive into it. First off Peppi-no will actively avoid making a copy of himself. If one is going to show up it's going to be some sort of a freak accident.

So, what do we already know about Fake Peppino clones? They have poorer emotional control,their thought proccess is less coherent, act impulsively, they say things as they think them, and most importantly: they reflect whatever is going on in Fake's head and subconscious mind. This is Peppi-no's case is a serious issue.

These clones are basically a physical manifestation of all the guilt, all the trauma, all the..self hate, all the regret Peppi-no experiences. Combine that with the confusing set of two memories and you get a huge mess, drenched in fear, anger and existential dread.

They start off looking like Peppino but very quickly destabilize under all the stress from the internal turmoil. If Peppi-no is screaming internaly, his clones will scream externally.

They remember how they pled to not be killed. And how their pleas were mercilessly silenced. They don't realize that it's not actually them who died. They want to destroy this monster that hurt them. They are aggressive towards Peppi-no.

So imagine this you've got this..person... screaming bloody murder, trying to kill you, while also pleading you to not hurt it. It's scared, it's angry, it's confused it doesn't want to die. What do you do with it??? You can't just let it run off into the wild...and you don't want to kill it either...I seriously hope that Peppi-no won't have to deal with this situation. (oh who am i kidding, i'm probably drawing this situation right now, sorry)

(you're not sorry.)

(oh, look who's back!) Also a drawing.

In short, Peppi-no clones are completely broken. While Peppi-no himself is somewhat able to handle all the burden his clones snap like a twig under the pressure and go bananas the second they come to their senses.

Similiar thing applies to low tier clones (pizzas, droplets) except these things don't have any higher thinking, they just blindly mutter about Peppi-no's sins. Not ideal but better than fully formed clones.

Well, I wrote everything I wanted to. Hopefully I didn't forget anything important.

Unreleated but you know what is strange? I think about a spooky ghost and suddenly I get a question about a spooky ghost. I'm drawing Peppi-no getting sprayed by lemon juice and I get a question about how he would react to lemons. And just yesterday I was thinking "huh, Peppi-no clones are such an interisting concept. Strange that nobody asked about them yet" and BAM two questions about them the next morning. Are you guys watching me? Are you in my walls? I'm just kidding. Im glad you all are invested in this AU. It's just an interisting coincidence :D

[mothwingwritings]

E and Y for Chifuyu please!

Anon I want to kiss you directly on the open mouth for this one, I LOVE Chifuyu so let's get it. ▼ω▼

(Also yes, I am the worlds slowest human that takes 5000 years to respond so sorry about that I am still here and still answering I am just a little turtle typer ^^;)

WARNINGS: Yandere, mentions of stalking and hints at future kidnapping, Chifuyu being just a liiitle too invested in you, mentions of suicide if you squint.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

From the get go, they bare their entire heart to you. It’s one of the things that drew you to Chifuyu in the beginning, how open and honest he was with you. You were a little scared of him at first, his status as First Division Vice-Captain in one of the biggest delinquent gangs in Tokyo was off-putting, to say the least. Despite that, Chifuyu was never anything but kind to you. With all the things he would so willingly and eagerly do for you, some people even joked that he was maybe too kind. Chifuyu would go out of his way to take you to and from work/school (he always seemed to know your exact schedule, despite the fact that you don’t remember ever sharing it with him), and he was always conveniently nearby whenever something went awry, ready to step in and save the day. Chifuyu was also inclined to bring you daily little gifts and treats just to see you smile, regardless of the fact that you never asked nor expected anything of the sort from him. It was all a bit much, but it was so endearing when he would offer these things to you that you always found yourself unable to deny him.

He wasted no time in getting to know you, and was quick to share the secrets of himself most people would try and keep hidden away. Not long after meeting him, every tragic, harrowing, fucked up occurrence that had ever happened in Chifuyu’s life had been relayed to you in excruciating detail, his guts spilled through late night conversations and wordy text messages. Hearing all he has suffered through at such a young age is heartbreaking, and it kills you inside when you see the tears wavering in his eyes as he weaves his harrowing tales. It makes you want to embrace him, hold him close and protect him from any harm which may befall him, shield him from any pain the future may hold. He melts into your touch, clinging to you shakily when you wrap him in your arms, desperate for your warmth and affection. His vulnerability only makes you feel that much closer to him, privileged that he trusts you enough to share his weakness with you.

But after some time the initial attachment you felt with him begins to waver. His stories go from heartrending to downright threatening, the focus of them shifting from all the sorrow he has endured to all the harm he has physically inflicted on others (and still can, should the need arise). These dark conversations most often happen after you hang out in a group setting or when you give someone besides him a little too much attention. When it’s the two of you alone he’s always been a very calming presence, but the moment there are others among you he instantly becomes on edge-even if it’s his closest friend surrounding you. It unnerves you, the stark contrast in how he presents himself when it’s the two of you alone enjoying each other’s company, versus when others are around.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Chifuyu is a slow burn kind of guy, so he has the capacity to wait for a very long time before he makes any kind of move. He wants to observe you first, take his time getting to know you and how you operate before he makes his move to claim you.

Though he was quick to become enraptured with you, he doesn’t want to rush anything. He prefers taking his time learning everything he can about you, savoring the time it takes to pick up on all your eccentricities and quirks. Each new caveat he discovers about your personality is like a goldmine, and he takes careful note of each and every thing he learns about you, committing them to memory. Should you find yourself staying the night at his home, he’s already picked up on your favorite body washes/shampoos/perfumes through your scent alone, and has stocked up accordingly. Whatever food or drink you prefer he memorizes so he can surprise you with them later. Your favorite color, animal, book, artist-he knows them all and then some.

Chifuyu is more invested in you than he is with anyone, himself included, and he takes pride in being the one person who knows you better than anyone else does or ever could. He may even know more about you than you do yourself, it certainly feels that way sometimes.

He bides his time as he considers the ideal way to confess his deep, all-encompassing love for you. He wants it all to be perfect. The place, how he presents himself, the timing, it all has to be something that will take your breath away, make you feel for him just as strongly as he feels for you. However achieving perfection takes A LOT of planning and he unfortunately has other obligations he can’t ignore that take his time away from you. As much as it upsets him, he doesn’t have the means to just pluck you off the street and make everything work out for the two of you, so he has to do a lot of juggling of his responsibilities that ends up impeding his progress.

Unlike other yanderes, he actually wants you to stay as ‘you’ as possible for as long as possible, not wanting to upset your way of life more than is necessary. He wants you to be happy and thriving without compromising your normalcy, but even more than that he wants himself and your relationship with him to be your primary focus, the one thing that makes you happier than anything else in the world. He will do everything he can to please you, his ultimate goal being to bring you to the same lovesick state he has been resorted to in your presence. He couldn’t bear the thought of you feeling any other way, nor could he live with someone besides himself making your heart race.

That being said, if someone were to insert themselves between the two of you and monopolize your time, attention, or (god forbid) love, he would need to rethink his whole course of action. Whatever trash has you fooled enough to feel such a way doesn’t deserve to be in your presence, nor do they have the right to have even an ounce of your affection. Chifuyu can’t understand why you are even bothering with them, can’t you see how they’re stringing you along, using you for their own selfish gain? Each time they touch you he wants to scream, every time you laugh at his stupid jokes it makes him want to hurl himself into the sun.

He doesn’t understand why you are doing this to him… Wasn’t his companionship enough? Are you trying to upset him? Chifuyu would never hurt you, never betray you, but if you keep spending time with some other jerk… He won’t be able to live with it. If you don’t love him, if you prefer someone else… he can’t really see much purpose in hanging around. Maybe he should just get it over with and remove himself permanently from the picture, that way you can be with whomever you want and he’ll stop being such a burden to you. That is the power you have over him, to decide his fate on a whim, no matter how misguided that whim may be. He prays that you open your eyes and see how wrong what you are doing is, before he is forced to do something drastic you both regret.

The choice is up to you.

[hopeinthebox]

how do u curate your playlists? they're so good (listening to the glen powell one rn lol)

dearest anon, please know you've made my entire summer with this ask <3333 (here's the playlist in question)

now while i recognise you probably weren't looking for a legitimate breakdown of the process here, you've inspired me to take a deep dive, and i'm prone to getting carried away (and yes, i read high fidelity recently and rewatched the film and the series. but i'm sure that has nothing to do with it). so here goes, under the cut:

Lizzy's Guide to the Delicate Art of Making a Playlist

#1 - What's the Point?

There has to be a theme or mood or connecting thread for the playlist. That being said, as long as it makes sense to you, you've pretty much got this covered.

What's the story? Is it based on a mood, an event, a time in your life, a person, a character, a genre, an era, etc. etc. There's plenty to choose from, so there's plenty of playlists to be made. Go crazy, get weird with it.

(In this example, the overarching theme is: Glen Powell Hot (Twisters Edn.) with a sub-theme, if you will: Country Music for Beginners.)

#2 - Song Selection

Once the theme is set, I gather a few tracks that spring to mind immediately. In this instance:

• Why'd You Come In Here Lookin' Like That - Dolly Parton

• Cowboy Take Me Away - The Chicks

• Country's Cool Again - Lainey Wilson

All of these are fairly self-explanatory if you have been caught up in the Twisters press tour at all recently. No further comment.

From here I flesh out the ~general vibelist~ with more tracks, some classics and some deep cuts. I'm cross-referencing my own musical knowledge, previous playlists, spotify mixes (god forgive me, the occasional algorithm picks), and other user's Powell playlists (topgun-heavy, but you certainly can't blame them).

#3 - Order Matters

There's got to be some sort of flow to the playlist front to back, unless your theme is audio whiplash, for example.

Now here I am a devout follower of the High Fidelity rules, which are as follows:

Track 1 - Open with a killer - sets the tone, gets people invested

(Here, Lady Gaga's You And I ~ it's a banger, and it's country enough to get away with. Can't bring out the banjo prematurely, we'll lose people)

Track 2 - Bring it up a notch - let them know we're just getting started

(Alannah Myles, Black Velvet ~ country-ing it up a notch but staying firmly in the mainstream, because again, we don't want to scare anyone)

Track 3 - Cool it down - now we're settling in

(Chris Stapleton ft. Dua Lipa - I Think I'm In Love With You ~ Dua keeps us firmly rooted in the crowd pleasers, and we can sneak in some Stapleton)

N.B. There is a rule here that I don't abide by, the "only one track per artist" - there's three dolly tracks in this lineup alone and i stand by all of them. Provided you're not adding an entire album or two, I think you can get away with it.

Anyway, this three-track run fires us into a classic (Islands In The Stream) which melts into Tyler Childers and suddenly we're knee deep in Kentucky and you didn't even know it.

The trick is to not overthink it, which is always easier said than done. Ordering only has to make sense to you from start to finish. This journey's gotta go somewhere - throw in a few peaks and troughs, and the songs are just connecting the dots along the way.

#4 - As Does Shuffle-ability

Now, having said all that, I feel like this is a safe space to admit I am a chronic shuffler, so a degree of shuffle-ability is required.

All this means is that your underlying theme is evident throughout. Any wildcards are going to make sense wherever they pop up.

With this one, the thread of country through all of these tracks is what ties the theme together (saving a horse). There are some classics (Faith Hill, Willie Nelson), soul-heavy tracks (Secret Sisters, Leon Bridges), and and few more pop-adjacent (Haim, Ashe) but they've all got that twang - so it's shuffle proof.

#5 - Points for Presentation

A good cover, title and description can offset a multitude of sins. Don't underestimate the power of presentation.

Duration comes into play here also, where anything shorter than half an hour feels like it has nowhere to go, but over three hours feels insurmountable. Unless you're going for a compilation, year in your life playlist, or some background low-fi stuff, keep it tight.

And there you have it folks, my (lengthy) guide to playlist curation. Final note, don't love it and leave it. If you come across something new, jostle things around to get it in. Similarly, if something doesn't fit anymore, toss it. The beauty of the modern mixtape is you can edit it as little or as often as you like.

If you made it this far, I'm personally sending you a little kiss on the forehead. And to the anon who inspired this article of a response, I can only apologise. MWAH

[vengefulvermin]

Can i get more passage of time/music development yapping ☹️☹️☹️??? I give you official permission to yap the most you can im so interested

YES YES YES YES YES I LOVE THIS ASK

warning beneath the cut SCARY WALL OF TEXT WARNING 😱

decided to divide it into colored parts if you dont gaf about certain elements 😭

second warning all of this is unedited rambling so some points might contradict each other or just plain not make sense.

okay so for CONTEXTTTTT

i have diagnosed OCD, and like, roughly since the end of last year and the beginning of this one, the 'obsession' part of OCD that was negatively affecting me, was the concept of time. how fleeting it was. how it's basically unescapable ALL THINGS MUST PASS (get out of my head george harrison) that shit proper cold dead SCARED ME MAN. sleepless & haunting me in my dreams type shi. sometimes it still does. i try not to think about it too much

to cope, i found great comfort in the 70s-80s since at the time i was and still am hyperfixated on david bowie and that was sort of his prime (love his 90s-00s work tho.) i was also starting to think of how much parallels and similar experiences i have to previous generations and how it's not ALL that bad after all so far. i can still walk to a record store and roller skate if i really wanted to, or go to a diner.

okey here's where the life changing stuff happens. i decided i'd listen to pink floyd's the dark side of the moon. then TIME CAME ON. ohhhh god oh gosh golly god i was bawling and everything the whole song spoke to me on a molecular level. then i found out about DB's song also called time, and i ALSO crode to that. i was like. wow. i'm not alone on this feeling of utter desperation and helplessness as eventually all things Must Pass. (GEORGE HARRSION GTFO)

i used to be bitchy on how i whined i was part of the 'wrong generation.' i thought i was alone, but virtually everyone of almost every era has thought this. somebody who lived my dream life wished they had what i have now.

that's when i started to lowkey realize the parallels and oneness of human experience. i could go to a club in the 70s, and (granted the infrastructure and music remains similar) i could today. nothing would change on how i perceive events. there is no color filter on the past. unless you got huge TVs and stuff all over your house, you could walk around, and think it's the 80s. AND IT'S BASICALLY THE 80s. the way your parents or any other gen Xer saw the world with their *eyes* (not counting the changes in buildings and stuff) is the same as you today pretty much.

i already really enjoy subcultures, and particularly how they evolve and adapt. the indomitable human spirit prevails no matter how gentrified or 'banned' things become. nowadays i feel like there is No Youth Subcultures. at least, none that will pass the test of time and be memorable enough to be remembered in the books. nobody's gonna go to their child and proudly say: "when i was your age, i was a chav" or something. and i credit this to the lack of creativity allowed in the wider music industry.

HEAR ME OUT this is because 90% of youth subcultures had everything to do with music. and now, everything must be palatable. to be clear there's nothing inherently wrong with that type of music, but to me it speaks no soul. it has no risks. contemporary pop music is very much formulaic and this is because now more than ever entertainment (this also applies to movies btw) is more of an investment than passion. I WILL SPECIFY.

music production is so vastly different genre to genre, and we're not letting it flourish because of how much short form content is valued nowadays. LET ME COOK.

tiktoks are formulaic. algorithms are formulaic. WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE. there must be an instant hook or rift in music if you want to 'go viral' as a musician. digitized fame doesn't mean SHIT (to me), since clearly monthly listeners don't equate real world fans. album sales are being replaced with streams, and because of how ASS spotify treats its artists, newer, less established acts need to GET ON THE GRIND INSTANTLY to earn Coin. that means that to be smart and work with the exploitative system they're given, they have to make albums filled with 1 minute 30 second songs. so you can technically give them the most amount of streams possible. i feel with this formulaic approach, you can't get 6 minute long gutwrenching guitar pieces. no more 4 minute drum solos, hell avant garde experimental works were 2 people shout their names out at each other for 20 minutes. THERE ARE NO MORE FRANK ZAPPAS.

i'm not going to be one of those sad assholes who claim there's 'no more good rock music' and how it'll never be the same. as corny as this is, the next beatles or nirvana could be right under our noses and we'll NEVER know because of how fame is distributed. it sucks to see a small band beg on tiktok for streams to kickstart their career. but this is what we gotta work with. if we want subcultures to be created and thrive, we gotta go looking underground again, except unlike in the past it's a kajillion times easier now AND everything gets gentrified in 2 tiktok weeks. but this is evolution. MUSIC EVOLUTION

the end honk shoo honk shoo (it's midnight)

[lazy-b1rdy]

hey fyi about what i'm planning with this blog

DON'T WORRY I WON'T BE DELETING IT!!

I've just been thinking of making a new one for my art specifically, bc as of late, my personal art that isn't somehow connected with tsp hasn't been reaching anyone much.

This has been REALLY demotivating for me as an artist and is part of the reason i don't post as much anymore. It makes me think i don't matter beyond what i can offer to the community, no matter how silly it sounds.

i don't really want to abandon this account since this has been the most i have interacted with people on the internet and it's THIS CLOSE to hitting 300 followers - which, I AM SO THANKFUL FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS EVEN GLANCED AT MY SCRIBBLES AND THE THOUGHT THAT SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE SUPPORTED ME IS ASTRONOMICAL!!!1!!!1!!!1 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭

anyways i'm thinking of making this more of a spam reblog/tsp art blog and start a new slate on my internet journey. I know that it will be quite hard to start from scratch but i will write here when i'm going to make it!

But that doesn't mean i have any regrets.

the biggest ones was how i started it and how i'm running it atm.

if i'm gonna be honest.. i only started posting bc it was sort of a rebellion towards the people i knew and that have been bringing me down in other ways, and i knew back then that i was invested into this fandom and wanted to show my love and art on here!

it might take a few before i do since i want to do a few things before starting to post again but know that i still love you guys and this fandom and i don't think i will ever forget how much this account has let me grow through the year i have been posting.

I really hope i will follow through with this promise since i'm sort of known for not being good with commitment but i've been thinking about this for a month now even if it scares the living daylights form me.

Thank you for being my friend through the roughest times in my life, even if you didn't know.

[limbobilbo]

Hey guys quick question.

Is it normal to just open google images and look at spheres?

Because I don’t really know how to feel anymore. Everything in my life just feels listless and unimportant. Being socially awkward basically entirely ruins my ability to do anything, that and ADHD. I am completely incapable of expanding my social circle, because im terrified of either losing the friends I have or getting burned trying. Trying to be in a relationship is so difficult, the sort of half one im kind of in makes me feel awkward a lot and I want to try more and go further but I cant out of a personal fear. I keep trying to try things and failing, im bad at any game I try to get into, guilty gear, chivalry, 90% of single player games. I feel like a creative but any attempt at creativity just blows up in my face. Writing, acting, creating a documentary project, all of it is either bad or when im passionate about it, it gets no reception at all. It always makes me annoyed when I post something I put effort into or that I find funny it gets no traction because people only like shit memes I post. One of my best friends got hyper obsessed with something last year and now its basically 90% of my conversations with him and I don’t want to tell him that im losing investment in it, but I can’t tell him because I dont want to leave someone ive been friends with for six years. I think one of the worst things is that I want to do or at least try youtube but I cant get the true motivation to do it. University makes me unbelievably anxious for reasons I can’t describe. I want to be independent but im not employed and im scared of being more independent. Im sorry for the ranting, but I’m just listless, sad, scared and tired. And im sleeping poorly, and unable to lose weight.

And im fully expecting this to get two likes total because as I said when im genuine I get nothing.

[clickerflight]

Clove: Part 12 - Why?

Masterlist

Part 11

I love my boys, of course of course, but also have you seen Margie and Josh? IDK what this side plot is doing, but I am invested personally.

Content: Werewolf whumpee, vampire caretaker, so much fluff, so much panic, mentions of a child who is chronically ill

............................................

Everything smelled like Ephraim. Hyrum hummed softly, nestling farther under whatever was draped over him. He felt content and safe. Protected. 

Faintly, he caught the scent of Ephraim’s blood and his eyes flew open as he scrambled up to see what was wrong. Ephraim was sleeping in the bed next to him, and he woke up as Hyrum started checking him for where he could smell blood. There was dried blood on his shirt on the floor so Hyrum pulled the shirt Ephraim was wearing back and forth, trying to see whatever damage there was as much as his addled brain could manage. 

Ephraim reached out, taking Hyrum’s arms, making him whine. 

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Ephraim asked. 

“Blood,” Hyrum said, struggling to get free, to make sure the vampire was okay. “There’s blood.”

“Ah,” Ephraim said. He sat up, letting Hyrum go and lifted his shirt. There was a pale scar across his chest and Ephraim said, “I’m okay, see? There was a dangerous man at the cottage and he hurt me when we were fighting, but I’m okay.”

Hyrum brushed a finger over it, to make sure Ephraim was telling the truth, but true enough the wound was sealed and all that was left was the scar. 

“Oh,” Hyrum said softly.

Ephraim dropped the shirt and held his arms open, letting Hyrum plough into him. Ephraim held him for a while, soothing all of the spiraling little fears that had taken up residence in his brain the night before. Still, there was a quiet terror he couldn’t quite shake. He had gotten a tiny taste of what it would be like to lose what he had here and it had been devastating. The real thing would surely destroy him entirely. 

He tried to shake the fear. Just because there was a bad man at the cottage, it didn’t mean that it was necessarily Jack. Who knows how many bad men there were in the woods. Hyrum knew that Jack had friends so it stood to reason there were even more than that. In fact, at one point he’d been convinced that all humans were like Jack.

Still, curious and apprehensive at the same time, Hyrum twisted, grabbing one of Ephraim’s hands and closed his eyes, smelling it deeply. 

His hackles rose as his deepest fear was confirmed and he froze. 

Ephraim pulled him into a tighter hug as the werewolf began to hyperventilate, tried to pull closer to Ephraim, tried to crawl into his very chest so he could hide forever. 

“Goldenrod, hey,” Ephraim’s soft voice said urgently. “I know you’re scared. I know, I know. Stay with me, sweetheart.”

Hyrum made a conscious effort to calm down, pressing his ear against Ephraim’s chest and listening to Ephraim’s very slow heartbeat. Ephraim ran a soothing hand up and down Hyrum’s back, a touch the boy couldn’t have even imagined just a month ago. 

Hyrum quickly came to a realization, one that he had shied away from before because it couldn’t possibly be true, but now….

“You’re not going to let him take me,” he whispered in awe, twisting his head to look up at Ephraim, only really seeing the bottom of his chin. 

“No, I’m not going to let him take you,” Ephraim said gently. “And the next time he comes to cause trouble, I’ll…. I’ll kill him. And then he’ll never get to take you.”

Hyrum relaxed into Ephraim’s arms as Ephraim pressed a kiss to his head. 

“Thank you,” Hyrum breathed. 

“Of course, Goldenrod,” and Hyrum was too ecstatic and relaxed to hear the gentle and complicated sort of sadness in Ephraim’s voice. 

…………………………………….

Margie was exhausted. She had spent nearly all day working on the cottage and she had only cleared the front room. There hadn’t been any traps or curses in the kitchen or the storage room, but both of the bedrooms were hexed to the high heavens. 

Josh helped support her as she grumbled, unable to do anything else even with Josh’s help. They’d have to come back in the morning. Not for the first time, Margie realized she needed an actual apprentice, someone to take over for her when she was too weak to do this anymore. Most of the time she pushed the thought off to deal with when she was ‘actually old’ in her mind, but now, exhausted, feet aching underneath her and feeling sick to her stomach, Margie allowed the thought to actually stay this time and make a nest in her mind. Maybe she didn’t feel ‘actually old’, but she recognized that she was. 

She was faintly miffed with herself that she needed to be so run down to be able to accept thoughts like that, but here she was. 

She ran the people of the village through her mind, trying to think of who would work best for this sort of job. Someone who was careful and fairly neat in their actions. It would be useful if they had some knowledge in distilling and brewing, even if it wasn't specifically experience with potions. Lots of free time on their hands to learn this sort of thing and an ability to sort out magic by feel. Not likely to be bowled over by other people’s opinions. 

Just as she was starting to run the adults of the village through her mind, she realized the answer was right in front of her. Or, rather, right beside her helping her walk. She inwardly groaned. Still, there were worse people to work with and Josh met all the requirements. Well, most of them. While his business with wine and alcohol meant he had knowledge in brewing and distilling and gave him the winter’s off because of the money made during the summers and he wouldn’t have to tend to the grape vines he kept, he had three children he helped his wife look after so free time might not be as free as she liked, but he was the best option, especially after seeing him work alongside her in the cottage. 

“Josh,” Margie said in a croaking voice.

“Yeah?”

“Have you ever considered becoming the village’s magic man?”

Josh’s stunned silence lasted only a moment before he said, “Can’t say I have. Why?”

Margie grumbled a little before saying, “You were very helpful in there, and I can’t keep this up forever, you know.”

“Are you asking me to become your apprentice?” he asked, a wry smile on his sun tanned face. 

“If you have to know, yes.”

Josh thought about it for a moment before he said, “I think I could? I’ll have to talk it over with Anna first, of course.”

“Of course,” Margie grumbled. “Maybe I could teach her too. You could split the load between the two of you. She’s already proved herself useful when it comes to herbs and remedies and the like.”

Josh sighed. “Yeah. I guess that sort of happens when you have a child like Dimitri.”

Margie nodded. Dimitri was a weak, though resilient sort. He was almost always sick but still plowed on through life like he was going to live it to the fullest, no matter if it shortened his lifespan. It seemed to make his parents happy, though. The village often watched him carefully, wondering if this was going to be his last winter. 

Margie certainly remembered his birth and his first winter. Anna had nearly died giving birth to the child and he practically lived in Margie’s little hovel during that first winter with endless bouts of croup and any passing cold that decided to drop in for a visit. 

“I’ll walk you to your house and then I’ll let Ephraim know he can’t go back today,” Josh said matter of factly, and Margie bristled. 

“I can tell him myself.”

“Oh, no, old bird,” Josh said easily and Margie nearly cursed him out. He had been growing to be just as brazen as his wife. “You’ll go home and rest. Orders from the possible future magic man.”

Margie huffed. “Insufferable. Completely insufferable.”

“Your knees will thank me,” Josh promised. 

And Margie hated that he was right.

……………………………….

Guntar was kind enough to let Ephraim and Hyrum stay in his house while he was out working, and Ephraim was glad for it. He didn’t much feel like leaving the bed, and Hyrum certainly wasn’t up to it. 

As the two laid curled together, dozing off in intervals, there was a knock on the door which made Hyrum whimper, grabbing hold of Ephraim. 

Ephraim stroked his head, listening as a familiar voice called, “Ephraim!?”

Ephraim placed his hands over Hyrum’s sensitive ears and called back, “In here! Come in!”

The door opened and Josh shuffled in, eventually poking his head in. 

“Oh, sorry,” he said, surprised when he saw the two. 

“It’s fine,” Ephraim said. “Goldenrod and I had a bit of a scare, so we decided to just rest for today.”

“So I heard last night. Well, not that I actually heard it. Embarrassed to say I slept through the whole event,” Josh said. “Anyways, I went up with Margie to try and sort out your cottage. It’s a mess up there. The spells were laid pretty thick. We did what we could but the bedrooms are still hexed and trapped. We’ll be going up again tomorrow to see if we can finish…. Well, that’s if Margie can make the trip back up the hill. Her knees have been giving her some trouble, see?”

“Oh, thank you, Josh,” Ephraim said kindly, pulling up the blanket to hide Hyrum a little better. “I know you probably have things to do, but would you be able to drop by the butcher’s shop and ask Guntar if we can stay here another night or if we should find other accommodations?”

“Absolutely,” Josh said with a warm smile. Ephraim deeply appreciated that Josh didn’t pry as to why Ephraim couldn’t do it himself. He didn’t want to draw attention to Hyrum when he was so scared. “I’ll be back in a bit, then.”

“Thank you,” Ephraim said softly and Josh nodded, heading back out to do as he was asked. 

Ephraim stroked Hyrum’s head under the covers, laying his own head back down on the pillow, contemplating the situation. It sounded like he and Hyrum wouldn’t be able to go back to the house for a while, which left him in a rather sticky situation. He wasn’t certain how well Hyrum would do when it came to being around other people. As far as the vampire could tell, the werewolf was terrified of everyone who wasn’t Ephraim. 

And even after Josh and Margie got the spells cleared up, Ephraim would have to find someone to try and clear out Jack’s scent or at least cover it, or go do it himself, though he wasn’t sure how well Hyrum would take it. He supposed he would just have to see how Hyrum reacted after he had a couple of days to process everything. Who knew, Hyrum had proved to be rather resilient, if a bit hesitant. He could grow to like people after finding that they wouldn’t hurt him. After all, he had grown quite attached to Ephraim pretty quickly, so there was a good chance that all would be well. 

“Ephraim?”

Hyrum had shifted, poking his head out of the blankets, his ears flicking up once freed from the covers. 

“Yes, Goldenrod?”

“Who was that?”

Ephraim smiled. “That’s Josh. He’s a friend of mine. He’s married to Anna. You met her when Morticai was in town, remember?”

Hyrum nodded. “So he’s…. Like you?”

“I’m not sure I understand your question, dear.”

“He’s not going to h-hurt me? Or tell Jack?”

“Oh, no. Not at all.”

“Oh…. I just thought that humans were…..” Hyrum searched for the words for a moment before continuing with, “I thought they all knew Jack and that they’d help him.”

“No. People who would help Jack are pretty few and far between, really. The people in the village are my friends, mostly… maybe not Harry or Katrina. They’ve never really warmed up to me, but that’s alright.”

Hyrum mulled those words over carefully, his ears flicking slightly back and forth as he did so. “So…. what does Josh want then? Jack wanted to make me a weapon-” Doubtful, Ephraim thought to himself, “-And you want to keep me safe and M-Margie wants to heal people? Then what would Josh want?”

“He probably wants to take care of his family,” Ephraim replied. “You know, making sure his children grow up strong and are happy and have happy lives of their own.”

“Oh.” 

Ephraim supposed the idea would sound quite foreign to Hyrum, so he just let the werewolf process that information for a moment. 

After a few long minutes, during which Ephraim started to drift off again, Hyrum patted his chest to get his attention again. Ephraim gave it willingly, opening his eyes. 

“So… most people don’t want to make weapons, do they?” Hyrum asked. He sounded like he was coming to that conclusion himself and just wanted to make sure he was on the right track. 

“No, they don’t,” Ephraim assured him, though that seemed to leave Hyrum more confused. 

“Then, why would Jack want to make me a weapon?”

Ephraim had expected this question, though perhaps not this early. He thought it over for a moment. He could see no rhyme or reason to what Jack had done, and he certainly wasn’t trying to make any sort of weapon. Hyrum had turned up on the verge of death, for crying out loud. 

“Hyrum… I’m not sure he was trying to make you into a weapon. I really have no idea what he was doing, but I think he was just hurting you for the sake of it. I’m so sorry I don’t have an explanation, but what he did was not okay, and it was not normal, and I’m here to protect you now.”

Hyrum stared at him, and Ephraim wasn’t sure the werewolf really comprehended him. Hyrum looked down, distressed as he gently kneaded his stomach, trying to wrap his mind around it. 

“But….. Why!?”

Ephraim just held him closer while Hyrum whimpered softly, kneading his stomach harder. “I’m sorry,” he whispered into Hyrum’s hair. “I’m so so sorry. It’ll be alright. I’ve got you now. He’s not going to come anywhere near you.”

Ephraim’s heart could only break as Hyrum shuddered under his arms, hiding his face in his hands.

Part 13

Clove Taglist: @wolfeyedwitch @the-blind-one-speaks @whumpsday @extrabitterbrain @inkkswhumpandstuff @honeycollectswhump @whump-blog-reblogs @pigeonwhumps

[fairyniceyeah]

Request list for Fairy

sorted by date but not necessarily the order I'll write them

if you see I forgot to put your request here, please let me know so I can keep track of it!

⌛ 24.04.2024 - @dudadragneel

And the other one is smth I saw on Twitter today about how San tried to enjoy Coachella with the others but he'd get overwhelmed because there were too many people and he'd go back to the car to calm down (and this made my mind go places)

⌛ 16.05.2024 - Anon

Hi hi hi hi! I just read your Yunho fic and it was so cute 🥰🥰🥰🥰 you mentioned in it a tummy bug that has hit the group in that fic and I was thinking maybe that would make a good fic cuz I want to know what happened 👁️👄👁️

💎 21.06.2024 - @forever-atiny

Can I request day 21 of June of Doom from Woozi's perspective? ❤️

💎 14.07.2024 - Anon

hiii can you do a fic of seungkwan getting airsickness during the flight on nana tour & throws up a lot and is dizzy but the members (mainly jeonghan and dk) and na pd help him out

🧭 15.07.2024 - Anon In your last post about Seungnim there was a thing in the beginning of the fic where Chan was so worried and anxious because he thought he didn't know his dongsaeng got hurt...and he is so scared that he misses when one of the younger members are sick or sad without him knowing and I want to request a story with one of the members working to exhaustion without Chan knowing and he finds out when its to late... 02.10.2024 - Anon Love the idea of a younger member working themselves to exhaustion and hiding it from themselves and the other members/older members and then the members find out when its almost to late...

💎 20.09.2024 - Anon

Hi can we maybe get a migraine fic with Seventeen, you can choose someone from the maknae line and then any caretaker 😊

P.S LOVEEE YOUR WORK❤️

Inspirations

27.05.2024 - @dudadragneel

What about sick during an interview? That's been sitting on my mind for a while....

I don't know if you want an specific plot but I had a dream once (me and my sickfic-driven brain):

It's quite simple actually but maybe they start feeling sick as the interview goes on and they try to tell someone discreetly. Maybe they manage to get out of the place with an excuse, helped by another member (kind of like what happened to Beomgyu once)? Or maybe things can get bad enough that they end up getting sick right then and there (if you don't like it, then maybe they get so desperate to get out of there that they end up saying it out loud, maybe even asking for the interviewer to excuse him.

You might know by now that I am a sucker for public situations (although I don't like when they get sick in front of fans and stuff, so I try to work around it). Hope this helps? Or not???

I just couldn't think of a group: ATEEZ, Stray Kids or The Rose so I think this decision will fall upon on you and what you feel more comfortable with 😁

28.05.2024 - Anon 

Perhaps a member who has a solo schedule and the others are not aware that he came to work sick. While the sick member is suffering from a bad migraine and his symptoms increase so much that he feels overwhelmed so he calls one of his members so they can pick him up and finally take good care of him and pamper him.

28.05.2024 - Anon

how about for "sick at work", its someone being locked up in their studio for hours/days until someone eventually finds them there in a horrible state (tissues everywhere, snack wrappers, energy drinks/coffe etc?) and then they have to fight a sickie who is so deeply invested in their work?

06.07.2024 - Anon

Hi so I absolutely love your work and I was just sitting around when a name for a fic came to me...not a idea just the name...so I'm gonna give it to you and ask if maybe you can come up with something that fits with this name🙈 the title/name is "It's okay, no more". So I know this is a bit strange but I just had to request it...

[prismatoxic]

"I hope any of this was interesting"

OF COURSE IT'S INTERESTING, THAT'S WHY I ASKED !!!

that's literally so great, those points you've talked about are some of my favorite things from ptk and it's really exciting to know you're so invested in it! (well, duh. Obviously, you're the one writing it)

At first I was kinda wary about the whole dysphoria and gender stuff, I was sort of scared to read when provided the warnings, but as I kept on going (because well, I just couldn't stop. The fic is just that good) it turned out being a really really interesting exploration of Chilchuck's journey, and some things even I could relate to !! To a strangely deep, personal level what the fuck tox

And oh, fuck yeah. The worldbuilding aspect is top notch. Probably my second favorite part of the whole thing beside the dynamic between chilaios. It's just so good to get to witness this carefully crafted world and how each of the characters fit in it! I really fucking love the way it works so well but is also riddled with some deeply rooted issues. How chilchuck fits in it, or rather, how he doesn't fit in it but makes room for himself anyways, learns to work around it. It's fucking great. It just ends up being sort of the default I think about for when I imagine any more modern universe stuff within dungeon meshi. The car stuff! that's so clever and interesting! Ugh half foots don't even have cars!!! Wtf!!! So cool!!! How do I explain to my friends this without making them read your fic wtf !!

Been ranting for a bit too long, and didn't even mention chilaios too much, but. Their dynamic. Fuck yeah. It had me twirling my hair kicking my feet. Laios' daddy issues, how they manifest in his relationship with Chilchuck (from the beginning too, ugh. Saw it coming from miles away and I was ecstatic waiting for it to finally boil over) and how Chil ALSO has some Dad issues (he is simultaneously the dad and the son) and how they both fuck about it freaky style. They're so good, and this is the perfect Chilaios dynamic, where they belong. So good. I love weird queer sex and if we're lucky they'll be having lots of it. Eventually.

They are SO hot together. I'm going insane. It's just so hot, the fic didn't even have smut yet and I was already cartoonishly pulling on my collar like "is it hot in here??" From having Laios call Chil "sir" instead of his name. All the setup had me going crazy, you did such a good job!

Anyway. Rant over. I need to calm tf down. Ty for writing ^_^ but take your time at the fic, enjoy your oc brainrot hours freely and don't force yourself to be churning out chapters just because we like the fic, we can wait, and we will.

THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE THIS MESSAGE IT'S SO NICE...

ptk is my baby, i've put a lot of time and effort and love into it and it really does mean the world to me when people appreciate it for what it is ;_; and plenty of people do, it's surprisingly popular ?? but i get very giddy when people engage with it on a deeper level, where i'm writing it from

i do want to get back to it soon, oc brainrot or no i'm extremely determined to see ptk through to the end, and some time away from it has given me some fresh ideas. plus i do need to get to the penetrative sex!!!

anyway, you're very nice and i love how you view and appreciate my story, here's a preview of chapter 12 for you

"...Laios?” he croaks.

“Oh, g’morning,” Laios says behind him, the sound of his typing stopping immediately. “...Good afternoon, I guess,” he corrects himself. “How are you—Actually, forget that, I think I know the answer.”

Miffed by his warm tone in spite of the fact that he’s acknowledging Chilchuck’s abject misery, Chilchuck lifts his head to glare over his shoulder. “Why am I naked?”

Laios is, himself, only in a pair of sweatpants, his legs crossed and laptop balanced on top of them. The curtains beyond him are drawn shut, but the light that is coming through is still far too bright. His stupid smile is even brighter, though there’s a touch of concern to it. “You got hot,” he explains.

That tracks. “Don’t remember that,” Chilchuck mutters, rolling bonelessly onto his back with a groan and throwing an arm over his eyes. “Was I trying to claw my clothes off in my sleep?”

“Yeah,” Laios confirms with a little laugh. “And thrashing around. I helped you get out of them and you went right back to sleep.”

He’s talking quieter than usual, Chilchuck realizes. “So much for me taking care of you,” he mutters.

“It’s a symbiotic relationship,” Laios assures, and Chilchuck feels gentle fingers card through his hair. “Let me get you some fresh water.”

“Don’t use—” Chilchuck makes a strangled sound as Laios starts to get off the bed, the movement making him feel like he’s on a boat at sea. “...Don’t use biology terms about your boyfriend, dipshit,” he finishes when it settles. “Fuck’s sake.”

“Don’t be mean to me, I’m going out of my way to baby you right now,” Laios chides, voice receding from the room.

“Baby me?” Chilchuck squawks, lifting his arm to glare indignantly at the doorway, and Laios laughs out in the hall.

[chirpsythismorning]

I'm not trying to be a bummer but im genuinely scared Stranger Things may get cancelled. This strike is not looking good and as you talked about in another post the longer they wait the harder it would be to pull this next seasons release off. I will really be heartbroken if it is especially because of how invested I am with byler.

I’ve sort of touched on this before, but in the case Stranger Things doesn’t continue as a result of the studios refusing to come to a fair deal (this is still very, very unlikely), we’d have a lot bigger concerns than our favorite show being cancelled.

It would mean the end of entertainment as we know it, with any and every current show out there being cut at whatever point it was left off on, basically a complete dismantling of the industry.

And something like that occurring would have a ripple effect on all of us and our lives, bc as many have said, the prospects of AI has the capacity to interfere in all lines of work eventually, even outside of the entertainment industry.

That future would look pretty goddamn bleak, and we’d probably all be dealing with the effects of that in ways that would be a lot more serious to our livelihood than a fictional show continuing to its end.

Don’t get me wrong though. I love Stranger Things and movies and television in general, like it’s literally what gives me the courage to fight on through the boring day to day (🥴😭🫡). And yet still, the livelihood of everyone affected in a scenario like that concerns me because it would mean something very detrimental to our future.

While I am willing to consider the possibility of this scenario, because the state of the world is already pretty bleak as it is and will likely continue to be regardless of which way this goes, I also want to make clear that in the case of ST, this show not finishing is a very very unlikely scenario.

99% of current shows could be cut short by the studios as a result of the strikes, and ST would very likely be in the 1% that survived. So again, this is a very doomsday sort of picture I'm painting when I talk about this. That's what I mean when I say I'd be way more concerned about the world itself...

Because I do think ST ending before it's intended end (with contracts already written, mind you) would literally mean Netflix's downfall bc what else do they have that’s worth continuing or starting up, all while not finishing ST? I would argue nothing. They also have a bunch of spin offs and other projects in the works planned with the Duffers, and all of that would kind of not be worth going through in a scenario where the original show that inspired it all got cut short. It’s just not feasible.

I think I tend to juggle a sort defeatist attitude about it because that's probably just my way of handling all of this stuff that is largely out of our control. It gives me some sanity to at least make myself comfortable with the idea of it not continuing, all while knowing that is an unlikely scenario. Then in the case it does get cut (again, very unlikely), maybe I won't be so devastated.

Let's just call it what it is. I'm coping!

[isthisrealliiife]

On Lies I Didn't Know Were Lies

Hi everyone <3 I'm just gonna get straight to what if you're reading this, you most likely want to know about:

I did not mean to lie about posting the next chapter of an echo, a stain in July.

I have NOT abandoned an echo, a stain. 

It will be a minute before I recover my mojo.

And now, for those of you with vague interest in details, a bit more explanation:

By the time I graduated my program, finished my practicum, completed the requirements for certification, got my paperwork sorted, and was finally done, it was mid-July, and I was hardcore job hunting.

Great news! I got a job! As a school librarian! With a non-heinous commute!

So once I got that job, I ended up sleeping for more like nearly a month than a week, because apparently being sick for 10 months and then trying to accomplish every academic, professional, and personal goal you'd meant to achieve during that time while also tryna figure out how to pay rent with no income really fucks with your stamina.

Then I had a bunch of trainings to go to, and visits to fam and friends I hadn't seen in a year, and started my new job.

For those of you uninitiated in the agony and the ecstasy of being a K-12 teacher, this lands me in the DEVOLSON. (The Dark, Evil Vortex Of Late September, October, and November. Google it. It's a brilliant thing that I did not come up with but that is absolutely fucking true.)

The beginning of a new school year is fuckin' NUTS. I can't describe it. It's too much. Suffice it to say that even when you're returning to a school you've been teaching at for years in a position/at a level you've been doing for years, the beginning of the school year is always overwhelmingly busy and hectic and involves more pivots than every runway walk at New York Fashion Week combined. Starting a new job in a new position at a new school in conjunction with this is ... loooooooool. Anyway it's great, it's been great, I love my new job and my new school and my new students but when I tell you every iota of energy, creativity, mental acuity, and basic capacity to accomplish anything has been completely absorbed by my job, it's really not hyperbole lol. But, as my fellow New Jerseyan and hair band charmer Jon Bon Jovi would say, "we're halfway there." Sort of.

I'm not even going to try to predict when the next chapter of an echo, a stain will drop, and I won't make any promises.

What I will say is that with any luck, things will calm down in December and settle into far chiller rhythms. I'm gonna play me some Dragon Age: the Veilguard, sorry not sorry but I been waiting for that fucking game for ten years and for good or for ill, I need to KNOW.

Once that settles, it's probable I'm going to feel some inspo for a story I've neglected for even longer than aeas (WAY longer, in fact) and hopefully finish that fuckin thing or at least figure out where I want to go with it. After THAT (or possibly concurrent with that, tbh), I will return to aeas, whose place in my heart is precious and undiminished.

If you've read this far, thank you. I appreciate you. If you're pissed and are like "fuck your excuses!"

well... I mean, I feel bad about disappointing you, because I genuinely do appreciate people's investment in the story and understand the anguish of waiting for a chapter/ending that seems like it will never come, but also... damn, you don't gotta be mean about it looool.

Unfortunately, we live in a late-capitalist hellscape and so I have to work a lot and pretty hard to barely scrape by and I'm still recovering from being sick for a long time, so I only have so much capacity to do stuff. It's growing, but it's limited, so here we are! I am sorry for having fallen off, though. I really hadn't expected to.

But never fear, I'll be back -- and more importantly, so will aeas. Not gonna lie, I'm kinda scared by having been away so long, and worried that I won't be able to live up to the ambitions I had for the story, but that's not holding me back or anything. I'd rather try and fail than leave it hanging in the breeze unfinished.

It's just gonna take some time. Anyway, I hope y'all are doing well and that life throws some joy at you.

Also listen I am SERIOUSLY not gonna lie but if shit goes awry on that first Tuesday in November, it's gonna take me a minute to reconcile myself with all that. Just sayin'.

OK that's it I hope to be writing again sooner rather than later but thanks for even reading this if you have. <3

[stripedstarsblueflags]

i feel so high school (au) pt. 3.B: galex

this was literally supposed to be the most random silly hc and i got waaaay too into it? anyway here’s the rest of one of my f1 rpf high school aus, in which george knows how to ball and alex knows aristotle:

and george is like “that’s all mate? why’d you have to get so upset you left me hanging?” and because i’m a sucker for angst let’s give a really dramatic and painful reason for why alex can’t swim, maybe he never learned and was bullied, maybe he had a scary experience when he was younger with either himself or someone else. he doesn’t tell george whatever it was but george gets the hint that he’s not being given the full story.

and george is pretty privileged, he’s a rich kid, he’s lived in a bubble. he’s not used to someone actively avoiding him. so he gets both confused and frustrated and mad at himself for scaring alex away. he’s probably telling himself he just doesn’t tolerate disrespect, he is ABSOLUTELY denying any chance that he really enjoyed talking to alex in a way he never had with any other friends or that he felt a connection he didn’t really understand or that alex’s smile and his laugh are playing over in his head or that he cares way too much about what alex thinks of him. george is absolutely not going through any of that. anyway he starts sort of awkwardly pursuing alex, trying to just make small talk in the halls and alex is afraid of his own feelings so he’s not offering much in return and THEN

(why am i so invested in this)

the school year’s closing out and for the biology class the final project has to do with data collection and a report on a whale-watching trip. and george’s first thought is shit, is alex going to be okay, because he gets carsick and he’s scared of water so how’s he going to fare on a boat? and the answer is not well. the trip is mandatory for the final so alex can’t afford to sit out as much as he’d like to so here we delve into the realm of forced-proximity and like a caretaking hurt/comfort vibe. george seeks out alex at the beginning of the trip and for once alex doesn’t pull away, just let himself sort of sit a little too close to george on the way there and huddle behind his shoulder even when they’re not talking and grab his hand when the boat hits a sudden swell. george puts his arm around alex when he gets sick over the side of the boat and basically carries him below the deck and brings him water. and then when they finally get to see some dolphins or whales or whatever and everyone’s taking notes/videos/doing the science-y part george convinces alex to just stay below decks and fall asleep and he goes out with the rest of the class and does double the work so he can give his observation notes to alex to do the final.

and finally the trip is over and the boat docks, bonus points if george is the one who wakes alex up and holds him steady when they go onto solid land, and it’s darker along the pier and everybody’s getting into their carpools and alex just sort of says quietly, “i owe you one.” and george is about to say “don’t mention it” but instead what comes out is “you could come to the match this friday and we’ll call it even”.

and alex just smiles gently and says “maybe” and george’s heart sinks thinking that’s got to be a no but that friday comes around and there’s a water polo match (i’m making this one boys against girls cause my high school’s girls water polo team carried the entire school on their shoulders) and the boys get absolutely obliterated and as george is getting out of the water and teased to death he actually sees alex in the crowd!! and he beckons down for alex to come find him and they start talking immediately and george is laughing at himself and alex is like “i think you did really good :)” and george is like “:D really” and this is the start of alex not realizing he’s become george’s WAG and george doesn’t realize it either but it gets increasingly obvious as the school year finishes out and they both get way more devastated than they thought they would at having to spend the summer apart

and it looks like it might be right person, wrong time or the one that got away because things were going so well between them and it all just seemed to drop away come last day of term until george is at like the town center/community pool (yeah i know he would normally be at like a private club but george points out that that one’s way smaller and he needs as much practice space as he can get so he’ll take the down-to-earth overchlorinated approach thank you) and he’s leaning against the wall taking a breather with his eyes closed and a shadow falls across him and he hears a familiar voice,

“can you teach me how to swim?”

(this did turn into aristotle and dante but fucking hell this is what happens anyway)

happily summer after <3

[cowboyjen68]

Hey Jen!! Do you know anything about suits? I really want to buy a few but kinda scared if buying them and looking ridiculous because I literally don’t know what I’m doing lol. There’s so much suit etiquette and I just want to look nice! ): I kinda don’t care if my dress shirt has to be slightly down around the wrists I just wanna look good but scared of messing it up!? Ahh advice? Thank you💕

I don't know much about suits. I inherited my dad's 1970's wide lapel brown suit that he only wore for funerals and weddings. I was the only one it will fit because I am build like him. I haven't even had a chance to wear it for anything.

IF I had the money I would find an old style 1970's 3 piece demin brown suit like Wrangler used to make in a Western style. I had one as a kid and LOVED it.

I can give you some suggests of other butches who clearly know their suits and perhaps they can help. Tell them CowboyJen sent you.

Dapper Dyke has an instagram and website. Her speciality is vintage suits http://dapperdyke.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dapperdyke/

Search for WritingKnighting on TikTok She is british and has a pretty amazng suit collection with lots of knowledge.

On Facebook "Butch Fashion Club" has a lot of intergenerational sharing about clothing for butches of all kinds. https://www.facebook.com/groups/382112838884951

Find your style. It might be Western Cut, Modern suit, 1950 3 piece business fashion, 1970's wide lapel or 1980's slim fit. OR any combination. There are lots of styles And accessories can make a suit. There are Vests, suspenders (my favorite) , leather belts, pocket square, ties, pocket watches, socks to add a tiny bit of color, shoes, lapel pins etc. You get the idea.

Most mid sized cities will have a seamstress or taylor who can help fit a suit and it is less expensive than you think. Dry cleaners, wedding shops, even department stores like JC Penneys or similar will have a list or have a taylor on staff to refer you to. I well fitted suit is an investment of sorts.