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fairyniceyeah · 2 days ago

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💎🍚Eyes on you, eyes on me

Title from Eyes on you (SEVENTEEN)

Summary: While playing a game Jeonghan gets hurt. Jihoon blames himself. - A rewriting of Day 21: "Let's play a game" from Woozi’s perspective.

CW: injury, guilt

Whumpee: Woozi/Jihoon (+ Jeonghan) Caretakers: Hoshi/Soonyoung + Wonwoo

Let’s play a game, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.

Jihoon was most definitely not having fun. Not even in the slightest.

He had long overcome any insecurities surrounding his height, knowing it would be his downfall if he let it get to him. Most of the time it didn’t bother him that he was shorter than most male idols, even some female ones. He’d been able to brush it off with grace, enduring the bit of teasing that wasn’t worse than what Mingyu received for his clumsiness, Seungcheol got hit with just for being the (albeit very pouty) leader and Dino because he was the maknae.

So normally he didn’t mind and he wasn’t about to start getting insecure now.

If anything though, he was angry. Angry at the staff that had hung the signs for the Chaos game this Going Episode just out of his reach. They should have taken his height into consideration, just like people considered that Jun, Minghao and Joshua sometimes couldn’t follow very fast conversation and game explanations or considered the injuries any member had at times.

And he was angry at Hoshi who kept teasing him. He knew deep down that his best friend didn’t mean it at all, in fact he was probably trying to make the episode fun and simultaneously trying to lighten the mood seeing how Jihoon was getting more and more worked up. But right now, it didn’t help Jihoon in the slightest. In fact, it made it worse.

“Should I get you a box to stand upon?”, Soonyoung asked cheekily, winking at Jihoon.

Yeah. Funny.

“Leave it, Soonyoung”, Jihoon mumbled, feeling his nerves fraying.

It was going to be a humiliating episode for him for sure. And he hated getting humiliated unlike Mingyu and DK who he was sure had some form of humiliation kink. Okay, damn, his thoughts were really falling apart.

Even worse, his whole team was probably going to be the butt of Carat’s jokes soon. Vernon, oblivious as fuck, barely was any help and Jeonghan, their only hope, had gotten caught by their general leader when he had tried to cheat.

“Come on, you normally don’t care about being vertically challenged”, Hoshi teased further.

Something in Jihoon snapped at his words. Why couldn’t Soonyoung read the room and leave him alone?

“Go screw yourself”, he snarled, not caring at all that the whole part would need to be edited out due to his use of curse words. He was rather glad.

He wasn’t proud of his actions, of shoving his shoulder into Soonyoung’s chest as he stomped past, but at the moment he couldn’t care less about the hurt look he saw on the dancer’s face.

💎

He stood by the stairs leading down to the ground floor, taking deep calming breaths so he wouldn’t snap at another member or staff, when he saw the sign with the number 17 high up by the stairs. Wait, that was the number their team was looking for!

There was no way Jihoon was going to be able to reach that. He didn’t even need to test if he could reach it by standing on his tip-toes. It was much too high. He’d have to bite the bullet of asking for help.

Ashamed with how he had treated Hoshi, he knew that he couldn’t keep holding onto the anger boiling inside him. It was a team game and he was a team player. After taking another deep breath he called out for his Jeonghan-hyung.

If anything Jihoon knew he needed Jeonghan to keep him in line should he get snappish again and he wouldn’t take it to heart like Vernon might. Since both of them were the same height it didn’t matter anyways.

When his hyung approached, Jihoon helplessly gestured up at the sign out of reach.

Jeonghan actually groaned and mumbled: “I hate this game.”

That was just plain unfair. He didn’t get to be pouty too. Right now, Jihoon felt like he deserved to be the only one complaining. He crossed his arms over his chest aching with guilt and annoyance.

“You’re telling me that?”

Jihoon was stunned when he felt Jeonghan patting his head, cooing at him. It was plain rude and he was starting to feel angry again. He understood it was for fan service, yes, and that this section might need to be on camera since they were about to actually do something. Besides, he had already ruined one shot. So to keep himself from cursing at the older, he hit him - maybe a bit harder than strictly necessary - to satisfy his need for violence.

Even then all Jeonghan said was: “Cute.”

Okay. Two could play this game.

“You’re just pissed that you were caught cheating”, Jihoon said.

“I am not”, Jeonghan lied. Jihoon was sure of it. “Only that Seungcheol betrayed me like this.”

Yeah, that had been very unfair of the general leader, Jihoon had to admit to it. Jeonghan may have broken the rules, but again their team consisted of lazy Jeonghan, short Jihoon and confused Vernon while tall Seungcheol had annoying Hoshi and fucking tower Mingyu. It was deserved extra help.

As always Seungcheol started to pout when he heard his full name, yelling: “Hey. Stop pouting. You deserved that!” all across the house.

“Shut up”, Jihoon and Jeonghan called back.

Jihoon crossed his arms again, seeing that Jeonghan followed his example. Now that Jihoon saw Jeonghan stand next to him he felt a bit better. There also was no way that Jeonghan could reach that paper. It made Jihoon feel a bit better about himself, though he would never admit it.

After staring at it for a few moments, Jihoon’s patience ran out. “What are we gonna do about that?”

“I suppose, I could try balancing?”, Jeonghan suggested.

Did his hyung have a death wish? Jihoon whirled around to stare him down, disbelief cursing through his veins. How did Jeonghan think that would go?

“Are you crazy? You’ll fall.”

“I won’t.”

💎

Jihoon was about to reply something along the lines of “mighty last words” when Jeonghan just stepped forwards and stood on his tip-toes to reach the paper. His fingertips were nearly comically far away.

“Hold me”, he ordered and grasped onto Jihoon’s hand before he had even the slightest chance to tell his hyung how big of an idiot he was. All he could do was beg him to stop.

“Hyung, don’t!”, he called out, unashamed of his voice slightly trembling. Jeonghan was crazy. They were on the top of a long flight of stairs. If there was one thing the active toddler in him remembered was his parents telling him to never mess around with stairs. You could break your neck, sweetie, or worse. Be careful, please!

Jeonghan, apparently, never had had that particular lecture. He probably had been too lazy to be running around stairs as a child already. But at least common sense from the smarter than average man should tell him it was a terrible horrible idea. Yet, he just held onto Jihoon and edged further and further over the abyss below.

“Hyung!”

Jihoon held tighter onto him, not willing to let his friend fall. His palms were sweaty and he could practically feel Jeonghan slip further away from him. He may have started working out a few weeks ago but that didn’t mean he could already hold onto a grown-ass man, a grown-ass man much bigger than him no less. Especially not on top of stairs.

“Hyung!”

Jeonghan grabbed onto the paper and for a moment it seemed like maybe Jihoon had been a bit too overly cautious and that they would succeed after all. But then, as Jeonghan tore off the paper, it wasn't enough. No matter how hard Jihoon tried to pull them back up, he wasn’t strong enough. Not to save both of them.

“HYUNG!”, he screamed, their hands torn apart. For a moment Jeonghan’s face seemed frozen in front of him, various emotions painted on his face. Surprise. Shock. Fear. Desperation. Then he fell.

💎

Jihoon’s knees exploded in pain as he fell forward, only his body’s instinct to lean backward stopping him from falling down the stairs as well.

When he managed to recover from the shock of pain all he could see was his hyung - his loving, doting, smart, amazing, kind, gentle, sweet, helpful, mischievous hyung - laying broken at the bottom of the stairs, managers, staff, members crowding him and then hiding him from Jihoon’s sight.

He couldn’t control the scream that was torn from his throat.

All Jihoon wanted to do was rush down the stairs to Jeonghan, check on him, see if he was … alive. He surely was alive, wasn’t he?

You could break your neck, sweetie, or worse.

Jihoon couldn’t move, no matter how much he wanted. It was like he was rooted to the spot, frozen to the ground, set in stone. Everything was blurry.

💎

Suddenly strong arms wrapped around his chest and pulled him back, causing him to fall backwards and collapse into the person. He gasped, throat raw, and then he blinked up at the person.

His blurred sight - it was only then when he tasted the salty tears on his tongue that he realised he was crying - showed he was cradled in Wonwoo’s lap, the older man holding him tightly. Next to him sat Soonyoung who looked about as scared as Jihoon felt, but much more determined.

“Jihoon-ah?”, Soonyoung asked gently and held onto Jihoon’s hand.

For a moment Jihoon swore he could feel Jeonghan’s hand slipping from his again.

“Jihoon-ah? Are you injured? Does something hurt?”, Soonyoung asked and when Jihoon could only stare at him, chest heaving, he cupped Jihoon’s cheek in his hand, his thumb wiping away the tears.

Normally Jihoon would have killed Soonyoung for even thinking about doing anything like this but right now it was the most comforting thing in the world.

Slowly he shook his head. The pain in his knees had lessened mostly and he knew there was nothing they could do against the bruises there.

“Jeonghannie-hyung?”, he asked instead, before he was even aware he would ask the question, “is he okay?”

Wonwoo and Soonyoung exchanged a glance that made the blood freeze in Jihoon’s veins. “Please, is he okay?”

“Jihoonie”, Wonwoo finally said and held him tighter, “we don’t know yet. But paramedics are on the way and the others are taking care of hyung right now. We should focus on you.”

Take care of him? Jihoon didn’t understand. He was fine.

“You’re not fine, baby”, Soonyoung said with a sad smile, “you’re pretty scared, huh? I think you may be experiencing a bit of shock right now.”

All Jihoon could do was nod. He didn’t have the strength to lie and he did feel pretty shocked.

Suddenly Soonyoung let go of him. Jihoon gasped, not wanting to lose the contact. He didn’t want to lose Soonyoung too.

“Hey, hey”, Soonyoung said, sounding a bit further away, “I’m not leaving you. I’m just gonna elevate your legs for a bit, okay? Just until you feel a bit better. Just breathe, okay?”

Jihoon nodded and closed his eyes. Soonyoung’s hands were warm against his calves and he was not only elevating his legs, he was soothingly patting Jihoon’s ankle, giving him something to focus on. His head was still resting in Wonwoo’s lap and only now did he notice that Wonwoo was gently stroking his hair and softly humming a song.

Ulgo sipji ana

💎

Jihoon let the older members take care of him for once. His heart still hadn’t stopped pounding in his chest and he noticed he was shivering. He was terrified, shocked like Soonyoung had said. He couldn’t bring himself to move, to look, to go to Jeonghan for now. He was too scared of what he would see. He didn’t want to lose Jeonghan. He didn’t think he could ever stop the self-blame if something bad had happened. Why hadn’t he been stronger?

It took a while for Jihoon to stop crying and trembling. It passed like the blink of an eye, an eternity at the same time. Slowly Wonwoo helped him sit up, Jihoon’s back against his chest.

“Breathe, Jihoon-ah.” The producer could hear the older’s chest rumble as he spoke in his gentle, kind voice. “You’re okay. Hannie-hyung will be okay too.”

You don’t know that, Jihoon wanted to shoot back. But he couldn’t bring himself to speak the words.

You could break your neck, sweetie, or worse.

“I want to see hyung”, Jihoon said, his voice more determined than he felt. “I need to see hyung.”

“Okay”, Soonyoung replied gently and let go of Jihoon’s legs, “let’s go.”

He stood up and reached his hands down to help Jihoon up. With Wonwoo’s hand on his back and Soonyoung holding his hands, Jihoon shakily got to his feet. His knees buckled a bit under him but he managed to stay standing.

Soonyoung never let go of Jihoon as they slowly walked down the stairs together, Jihoon’s gaze fixed on the steps. He didn’t know how he would react when he saw Jeonghan and he didn’t want to cause Soonyoung to fall down the stairs too if he freaked out.

💎

Once they were at the bottom of the stairs, Jihoon noticed that the bubble of people surrounding Jeonghan was gone. Instead only Minghao was kneeling by their hyung’s side. The younger member was stroking away the tears on Jeonghan’s face. Jihoon didn’t know if they came from pain or shock. Some strands of hair stuck to Jeonghan’s cheeks that Minghao carefully peeled away, gentle as always. For a moment Jihoon could only watch. Jeonghan looked much more peaceful than he had imagined but it was still scary to see him so still.

“Please be more careful, hyung”, Minghao whispered, “it was terrifying. I was taking a break and was watching you and Woozi-hyung. Seeing you fall so suddenly … I … you really scared us today.”

Jihoon swallowed. He hadn’t even had thought about what the situation would do to the other members - he had only thought of Jeonghan and himself. He imagined it must have been so scary, maybe the suddenness of it all even more so than to Jihoon who was involved in the situation.

“I’m sorry, Eissa. I didn’t think”, Jeonghan mumbled. But Jihoon couldn’t believe the next words his self-sacrificing idiot of a hyung said “Are the others okay?”

He didn’t hesitate to interject, stepping forward, away from Soonyoung. His voice came out less angry than he had imagined, weaker than intended.

“So much is clear. That you didn’t think, I mean. Do you know how terrifying it was to feel your hand slip out of my grip and see you fall?”

Jihoon sat down and wrapped an arm around Minghao who had startled at his sudden appearance, letting the scared younger member rest against him. Even if Minghao was acting strong, Jihoon could see how he was scared and he wasn’t as heartless as some people thought him to be.

Only then did he finally look at Jeonghan, barely able to meet his eyes. I wish I could have saved you, hyung. I wish I had been stronger.

“I’m sorry, Jihoon-ah”, Jeonghan apologized quietly. “I never wanted to make you go through that.”

Jihoon didn’t really want to hear the apology. He didn’t think he could accept it yet. He knew he should have been stronger. But he also knew Jeonghan never should have played with his health, his safety like this. As loath as Jihoon was to admit it - this was Jeonghan’s fault in a way. He had decided to play. He had trusted Jihoon to hold him - and Jihoon had failed him - but still it had been his decision in the beginning to even try the stunt.

“I know, hyung. Please don’t be so reckless in the future”, Jihoon just said. I’m sorry.

But he couldn’t say those last words, because suddenly the door was flung open and paramedics rushed into the room. Jihoon squeezed Jeonghan’s hand tightly, hoping it conveyed the apology, and stepped back. Immediately Soonyoung was there, wrapping him in his arms again.

💎

Now all they could do was wait and hope that their Jeonghan would be fine.

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fairyniceyeah · 9 days ago

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💎 All 13 parts of my heart (Part 5/5)

Title from 1 to 13 (SEVENTEEN)

All 13 parts of my heart I All 13 parts of my heart II All 13 parts of my heart III All 13 parts of my heart IV

Summary: “What if we aren’t strong enough to weather this storm?”

CW: fighting

Whumpee: Woozi/Jihoon (OT13)

Woozi, who never cried in front of them. Not if he could help it.

Now, small, desperate sounds escaped him as he curled into himself, sobs shaking his trembling body as he hid his face in his hands. His whole body was wrecked by his distress and he was trembling, gasping for air.

At once the group froze, voices falling like the tide, until they could only hear his cries. The members were staring at him, mostly in disbelief, others in worry. It was so unexpected that nobody knew how to react.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”, Woozi whimpered, taking another step back until he was pressed against a wall, as if trying to hide from them. He looked so desperate, so young, so scared.

How had Seungcheol not noticed how hard the fighting was hitting him?

Seeing his oldest friend like that was heartbreaking. It wasn’t like Jihoon at all to break down over fighting. He always had been their mentally strongest and now he was reduced to pained tears.

Something stirred in Seungcheol that made him able to finally find his own voice.

“This fighting stops now”, he pointedly said to the group, his voice leaving no room for argument. He turned his back to them, showing them how disappointed and angry with them he was. He hoped they were smart enough to start working out their arguments.

As he addressed the sobbing member, Seungcheol took great care to speak gently, as if approaching a frightened animal. “Oh, Jihoonie, come on, let’s go outside for a bit and breathe. You’re gonna be okay.”

He wrapped his arm around the producer’s shoulders and pulled him close, leading him towards the door. As it fell shut behind them, the room was still silent.

💎

“Shh, come on”, Seungcheol whispered, rushing them towards an empty hallway he had spotted earlier. Jihoon stumbled behind him, shaking all over and a bit unsteady on his feet. The sooner he got to comfort him the better. The halls seemed endless as they walked, warping into longer tunnels as they moved.

Finally, Seungcheol spotted a secluded bench and sat down, pulling Jihoon to sit down next to him and wrapped him into his arms. The producer fell forward into Seungcheol’s hug, burying his face in Seungcheol’s chest and kept shaking. He seemed desperate, as if he would just shake apart if his hyung didn’t hold him together. “Oh, Jihoonie”, Seungcheol mumbled helplessly, kissing the top of unruly black hair. “I’ve got you. I’m here with you and I won’t leave you. I’ve got you, you’re safe, you’re okay.”

“They aren’t okay”, Jihoon whimpered, his hand grabbing onto Seungcheol’s hoodie as if he needed something to anchor him. As if he feared that Seungcheol would leave him. Leave him too, in an endless fight that spiraled out of control and couldn’t be stopped.

“They aren’t but they will be”, Seungcheol replied, hoping that he was speaking the truth. He wasn’t sure if things could be mended either. So he took to gently rocking them both from side to side, the motion comforting them both. His mind was reeling from the fact that he was holding a crying Jihoon in his arms. How could they have not seen how he was suffering under the fighting? Sure, Jihoon had never reacted to fights like this before, normally he would either tell them to get themselves together or snap at the members too if he was stressed. But there was no other reason for him to be this frightened right now. Seungcheol just wished he had seen earlier how it affected him. Running away to the studio when the group had issues should have been a neon sign that something was wrong.

“How do you know?” Jihoon’s voice was so quiet, so lost it was nearly swallowed by the fabric he pressed his face into. For a moment Seungcheol remembered that he was wearing expensive, borrowed clothes and Jihoon’s makeup would destroy them but he truly couldn’t care less at the moment. “They have been at it for days. I just … I … I can’t take it anymore. I am so tired, hyung. I am so scared. What if … what if we are already broken beyond repair and we just don’t know it yet?”

“You’ve really been hurting under all of the fighting, hm?”, Seungcheol asked, rubbing Jihoon’s back. He didn’t know what else to say. He really needed to get to the bottom of this.

But his words seemed to have triggered something in his dongsaeng, triggered something negative. Instead of receiving an answer, Jihoon pulled away at the words, leaning against the wall beside him and pulled his knees up to his chest, as if to protect himself. “I …”, he started, then shook his head. “You should go back and check on them. They need you. I can manage on my own.”

“You need me too”, Seungcheol replied gently, placing a hand on Jihoon’s knee. There was no way he would leave him now. Jihoon had been pulled into something that wasn’t his fault at all and he was suffering. Seungcheol needed to be with him now. “More than the other members right now. Hoshi and Joshua have it under control, I believe.”

If he knew anything about the members, despite his trust in his judgment having been broken over the past days, they all cared enough for their Woozi to put their fighting behind them for his sake. They would try for his sake at least and maybe it was the push they needed to start talking, forgiving and apologizing. In a twisted way, Jihoon breaking down may have been their saving grace.

While the members hopefully talked, Jihoon needed somebody to listen to him too.

So Seungcheol continued: “I’m sorry, Jihoonie, I should have noticed how much you were suffering.”

“You were focused on other things, hyung”, Jihoon replied with a humorless laugh. He shook his head, not daring to look up at Seungcheol. He seemed so fragile at the moment, disheveled and face streaked with tears and running makeup. Had he always been this … easily hurt? How much had he swallowed down until he couldn’t anymore?

“I was …”, Seungcheol said, trailing off for a moment as he remembered back to all the fighting he had witnessed, “but still, I should have checked in on you. I noticed you were never there and of course Hoshi and I noticed you refused to be part of this. It should have been enough of a warning sign, normally you would try to help.”

Jihoon just shrugged, wiping his eyes. “I … I’m sorry. I just couldn’t … I … hyung, you really should check on the group. What if it spirals further?”

Somehow, without Seungcheol noticing, he had pulled his defenses slightly up again. But Seungcheol would not ignore a member in need again.

“It won’t”, Seungcheol said firmly, “I promise. If I need to fix anything, I will do it later. I am not going to abandon you here. Let me in. Tell me what’s been on your mind. I am so worried about you right now, baby.”

Those last words seemed to finally tear down Woozi’s already crumbling defenses completely. With a small cry he threw himself into Seungcheol’s arms again, trembling. Seungcheol caught him and held him close, wrapping him into his embrace. For some reason Jihoon felt even smaller in his arms right now than he normally did.

“There is so much pressure, hyung”, Woozi sobbed, “I feel like I am breaking apart. The songs are not coming along as I like, I actually hate some of the new songs. They don’t feel right and I am so embarrassed to have them in the comeback. I don’t want them attached to SEVENTEEN. I know I will hate performing them and what if you and Carats hate them? I want to do my best but the company is always … the executives pressure me so much, I barely have time to breathe and sleep and eat at the moment. I am mostly just praying to get through the day without crying. I felt like I was drowning. Spending time with you and the members at the rehearsals, recordings and practices and other schedules were like a light in the dark. And then the fighting started and I never truly felt comfortable anywhere anymore.”

That was a lot for one person alone. It was the first thought Seungcheol had. No wonder Jihoon had broken down, if he had been in his place he probably would have started crying the moment the Seungkwan-Vernon-Dino-thing had started.

But it was Jihoon. Of course he had shoved everything down, had swallowed his hurt until he couldn’t anymore. Seungcheol just wished they had noticed, had noticed how much pressure the company had placed on him this time. The fights had just been the cherry on top. They had effectively taken Jihoon’s safe space away with their stupid disagreements.

“Oh, Jihoonie”, Seungcheol whispered, not sure what else to say.

How could they fix this? Of course he would speak to the CEO and demand for Jihoon’s schedule to be lightened, the comeback maybe be pushed back. But they all had truly fucked up. Even Jeonghan, whose plan to stop the fighting had been the right idea, had failed Woozi. Seungcheol, Hoshi and Joshua, who had just let it happen, were as guilty as the other fighting members. They had all been so lost in petty fighting, yes, even Hoshi, Joshua and Seungcheol, that they had truly lost sight of what was the important thing.

“I’m sorry you had to go through this. I’m sorry we didn’t notice. I’m sorry I didn’t notice.”

“I didn’t want you to”, Jihoon replied with a trembling voice, “I … I thought about reaching out but then the fighting started and I knew he just had to push through. There was too much happening for me to complain about my issues.”

“Jihoonie.” Seungcheol sighed, rubbing his hand over the younger’s trembling back. “I would have listened. Hoshi would have listened. Joshua too. The fighting consumed a lot but it wasn’t more important than you. You had so much happening to you, it’s not fair. There never should have been one issue so big that you felt like you needed to push your own problems down. We are still a team, a family. We would have wanted to help.”

“I know you would have but …”

“You do know that we care for you, don’t you?”, Seungcheol interrupted him. “Any of us would gladly have just told the executives to fuck off if we knew how they were pressuring you.”

“I was scared of that”, Jihoon said, the corners of his mouth lifting into a shy smile at his joke but it was quickly replaced by an uncomfortable expression on his face. “I don’t need you to do this on my behalf.”

“You do. It can’t go on like this”, Seungcheol insisted. “I promise you, we will find a solution and I will stay by your side for everything. I just … I just wish you would have told us earlier how you were suffering. If we truly hadn’t had the capacity to talk to you with all the fighting going on, we would have referred you to another member. Nobody would have left you hanging. We all care too much about you, about each other to let anybody suffer alone.”

Jihoon pulled away from Seungcheol’s embrace, so he could look at him, eyes shy and biting his lips.

“It doesn’t feel that way anymore. They are lashing out and hurting each other”, he whispered, “they are so vicious, so uncaring about the hurt their words can cause.”

Seungcheol sighed and adjusted Jihoon against his shoulder so he could place his chin on top of Jihoon’s head. It was times like these that he was glad he could hold Jihoon so easily in his arms. He knew what Jihoon was - perhaps unintentionally - referring to.

“We all know that you try to distribute the lines as equally as possible. It’s the company that makes you take away Jun’s lines, it’s not you. Jun knows that too.”

Jihoon shook his head, fidgeting. “I … at this point … I tried, I really tried. But I am so tired about fighting with the executives about it. I started giving Junnie less lines from the beginning now, just to reduce the amount of stress on me. I know I am a bad friend and I feel awful about it but … I just can’t do it anymore.”

Seungcheol pressed a kiss against his temple. “I promise you, hyung will fix this for you, okay? You aren’t a bad friend at all, the fact that you tried until you felt like breaking under the pressure shows that. Don’t feel bad about it, Junnie will understand your side. Nobody wants more stress on you.”

“Sometimes I wish I could just stop, you know? I am so tired”, Jihoon mumbled, closing his eyes as if to underline his statement but likely just a sign of how exhausted he was. “I just wanted to curl up on the dorm’s couch with Hannie-hyung or Soonyoung or Seungkwannie and watch a stupid movie. But they were fighting and Soonyoung was so exhausted with mediating. I just feel so lost and alone.”

“We will fix this, baby”, Seungcheol replied. “We are strong.”

“What if we aren’t strong enough to weather this storm?”

Seungcheol sighed, unsure what to reply. He too asked himself the same question. Despite his earlier thoughts and words, doubt gnawed at him. What if the fights had been too bad? What if even Jihoon’s breakdown wasn’t enough reason, enough motivation to soothe the hurts? What if apologies and hugs weren't enough anymore?

Their silence was broken by soft footsteps and Jeonghan rounding the corner. He looked unusually ruffled and his eyes were red, cheeks blotchy. It was clear he had been crying. His hair was in tangles as if he had run his hand through it like he did when nervous.

“Hey”, he said quietly as he approached cautiously. “I, uhm, I hope I am not interrupting. We wanted to know how you were doing. We’re so worried and were hoping to talk?”

Seungcheol looked down at their dongsaeng, not sure if Jihoon was truly ready to face the members again. It was clear that he was scared but he nodded resolutely. Jeonghan approaching calming and talking about we seemed to give him enough hope to try to see them.

“I … I’m not okay, I think”, he admitted quietly, trusting his favorite comfort hyung with his emotions, knowing Jeonghan would guard them like the treasure they were “but I do want to go and talk. Uhm … uh, how are they … doing?”

Jeonghan smiled brightly. “It will take some time but we talked. A lot. Cried a lot. But we are okay. Come and see.”

Jihoon stumbled to his feet and took Jeonghan’s outstretched hand, Seungcheol following them.

💎

The atmosphere in the room was much lighter than before. Seungcheol was astonished as he took in the members. All of them looked like they had cried, some were still sniffing. But their eyes were soft and their postures welcoming.

Dino, Seungkwan and Vernon were huddled together as one pile of maknae again, Dino sandwiched between his youngest hyungs. Vernon and Seungkwan were grasping onto each other too. Seungkwan had changed out of his wet shirt and was wearing one of Hoshi’s hoodies.

Minghao and Jun were smiling, Minghao’s head resting on Jun’s shoulder and one of his legs slung over Jun’s. Both were close to the maknae’s and they kept throwing fond looks at Dino. Seokmin looked a bit stiff and scared, as if afraid of the fragile peace, but he held tightly onto Jun’s hand.

Mingyu was curled into one giant ball of human, head resting on Wonwoo’s lap. He looked exhausted; he always got headaches from crying. Wonwoo had his hand in Mingyu’s hair, softly playing with it. He was still quietly crying but he smiled brightly at them when they entered.

Hoshi, also having changed clothes, and Joshua were sitting on either side of the members, rubbing backs and proving themselves to be silent pillars.

Tissues were strewn all over the room, as were half-empty water bottles. A homage to their emotions.

Jeonghan led Seungcheol and Jihoon to sit with them, completing the circle of members.

“There is a lot we need to talk about”, Jeonghan started, his voice pained. “We can’t just push this away. We need to give each other space and time to talk and process and forgive. But I know we can get through this. We are strong as a team, as a family.”

Seungcheol nodded, locking gazes with each member briefly before taking a deep breath. “Carats are right. We love each other too much to let this destroy us.”

The members nodded in agreement, smiles painted brightly on their faces. Jun was the first to get up and wrap Jihoon in his arms, the others following one by one until there were only Joshua, Jeonghan and Seungcheol left. They grasped each other's hand and joined the hug. At last, Seungcheol let his tears spill over.

Tears of relief and not tears of hurt.

Notes: Lots of thanks to everybody who helped me create this fic! Thank you to every anon and everybody who send in suggestions when I asked for help! It couldn't have done it without you!

Special thanks go to:

@sickiecloud

@sneezyminniejo

@dudadragneel

@itsoktobeconfused

@haifa8796

who all gave me amazing ideas to work with!

Masterlist links: Fairy's Full Masterlist Fairy's Masterlist - SEVENTEEN

#Kpop #Kpop blog #🧚🏻‍♀️#Title from 1 to 13 (SEVENTEEN)#kpop whump #seventeen whump #Seventeen #💎#OT13 Whump

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