#i am indeed speaking from experience

[thelostscholarofmcd]

do it op

The cringe urge to "rewrite" MCD with my self insert 😶

[thedeafprophet]

drunk prophet saying hi at 1 am. I love. flondon characters

and talking to people. I am easiest to talk to on Tumblr posts. I like discussing things but esp lore and meta. 👍

[sttoru]

“you’re important to me, satoru.”

the words pierce through the comfortable silence. your lover’s closed eyes flutter open and stare at the ceiling for a second, unsure if what he’s heard was indeed reality.

his cerulean eyes eventually dart to your face. they’re filled with a rare sense of vulnerability, one that only appears around you. however it fades quickly when satoru tries to keep the moment lighthearted.

“heh, i know i am,” satoru chuckles, though you don’t miss the unusual softness in his voice. the white-haired man leans into your touch as your hands come into contact with his cheeks.

your smile lights up the room. it fills satoru’s heart with an undeniable amount of love— love that he has lots of. the kind of love that makes him dream of a future, his future.

the kind of love that reassures him that he’s someone.

“good! i’m glad you do,” you reply and pepper his face with kisses. your lover melts into your embrace and his head falls back against the pillows once more, his fluffy white hair pooling around his head, making him look like an angel.

satoru gently pulls you on top of him, the duvet around your tangled bodies rustling. the cocoon of warmth provides the both of you with a comfort like no other. “what’s with the sudden sappiness, baby?” he teases, booping your nose.

satoru doesn’t hate it. in fact, it’s the exact opposite. he cherishes the affection, the gentle reminders that he’s loved and will be loved until the end of time. even if no one in the world remembers him anymore, he knows you will.

you let out a small huff of laughter before placing a tender kiss on his lips. “just wanna show my man the love he deserves,” you hum and run your fingers through his hair.

as you speak, satoru can’t help but bask in your heartwarming words, drinking in your love and affection like a man starved of water.

you lower your head and leave a trail of pecks along his throat and collarbone. you eventually rest your head on his bare chest and hug yourself close to his body. his pecs function as a soft cushion for your head— a warmth you don’t ever wish to lose.

“. . you’re too sweet,” satoru sighs. his arms wrap around your torso and he squeezes you tightly, yearning to hold you as close to him as he possibly could. his heart beats loudly in his chest and he’s sure you’ve heard it. he then kisses the top of your head and exhales through his nose.

“you’re killing me, babe,” your small giggles as you jokingly complain about the lack of air in your lungs make him feel an incredible amount of joy. a certain joy he only experiences with you.

to your surprise, satoru rolls you over onto your back. his hands are on either side of your head, fingers curling around the silky material of the pillowcases. his eyes glisten with a deep sense of passion that he wishes to convey.

your lover captures your lips in a tender kiss, his white locks brushing against your forehead. “mhh— god,” satoru murmurs against your bottom lip after gently taking it between his teeth. his breath hitches when your fingers tangle in his hairs, “what did i ever do to deserve you, sweets?”

after a couple seconds, he pulls away. he’s breathless and so are you. “so much. you did and still do so much. hell, you deserve even more than this,” you reply without missing a beat. you want him to know that you appreciate him for who he is and what he’s done for you— for the world.

you shake your head and pull satoru down for another kiss.

his eyes widen and he swears that he can feel tingles spread through his nose. it’s that sensation which happens before the tears well up in his eyes. satoru isn’t one to cry so easily, thus he decides his best to hold back his emotions.

your lover shuts his eyes tightly to stop the tears from forming and holds onto you like you’re his lifeline. he feels so alive, so appreciated— he feels like he actually matters.

and he does. he matters to you. not because he’s the strongest and not because he possesses great power which others benefit from. but simply because he’s . . . himself.

satoru’s lips detach from yours. again, due to your body’s need for air. if it wasn’t for that, he’d kiss you forever. he rests his forehead against yours, his breath coming out in short and quick pants.

your half-lidded eyes look up at his as well. your fingers run up and down his nape while you lovingly stare at each other. a small smile tugs at your lips the moment you feel his mouth connects to yours again a final time.

satoru finally opens his eyes, his face hovering above yours. you’re left stunned by the sight of him like this; vulnerable, defenceless, honest and just pure. you adore it whenever he drops his over confident, playful and cocky side of his personality to make way for his inner self.

“. . you’re important to me too. very,” satoru responds to your earlier words, his voice gentle and sincere. he flashes you a subtle yet soft smile, his blue eyes glistening with tears that disappear as quickly as they appeared.

he lowers his head and rests it next to yours before taking in a deep breath, his mouth next to your ear as he whispers one more request;

“please don’t ever stop loving me.”

[nanamiscocksleeve]

Natural Breeding Clinic - Prologue

warnings: MDNI, breeding kinks, general sex, mention of infertility and insemination methods

a/n: It's here. Finally.

Teaser - Prologue - Patient 1

You take a deep breath and sit down in front of the laptop, waiting for the other person to join the call. Never in your life had you heard about such a unique reproductive center but lately, you’d been feeling the pull to start your own family. You’d discussed this with relevant people in your life. Everyone had said if you really wanted a child, then you should go with the options you thought were right for you.

You’d done the research, looking into different doctors and fertility clinics, but this one just stood out. There were testimonials from several happy families, saying their methods, though unconventional, were effective, and the doctors showcased on the website were all incredibly striking, each one handsome in their own way. But it was the success rate that caught your eye. A 98% guaranteed rate that you would be pregnant, and that pregnancy would be healthy. The site didn’t go into too much detail on their method, but the wording caught your eye.

“A natural breeding clinic” they’d called themselves. You’d finally bitten the bullet and called, requesting an information session. The screen suddenly lightens and you focus your attention as an attractive woman with shoulder-length brown hair comes into view. She smiles in a welcoming way before speaking.

“Hello. Am I speaking with Mrs. L/n?” You nod and smile back, trying not to look awkward or uncomfortable. 

“Perfect! My name is Shoko Ieiri, I’m the main coordinating nurse here at Jujutsu Fertility. Thank you for scheduling an information session with us.”

“Yes, of course. I just needed more details before I booked an appointment.”

“Indeed.” Shoko claps her hands together before continuing. “Let me start by telling you a little bit about ourselves. We’ve been around for almost 6 years now. What sets us apart is that we focus more on women’s comfort than most other clinics. And we are sought out by people who are willing to use a sperm donor. We do not perform insemination services with sperm that are not from our own stock.”

“Your own stock? Are you associated with a sperm bank? And screen all the donors yourself?”

“Not a sperm bank in the conventional sense. We have 5 doctors who keep excellent health and their sperm is regularly screened to ensure quality. They are the only stock we allow for insemination.”

You blink to make sure you haven’t misheard. “The…doctors? Are you saying the fertility doctor I’d be meeting with will also be my sperm donor?”

“That is correct.” Shoko nods her head to confirm. “You will be meeting with the doctor of your choosing for at least 5 sessions. They will need to be at least once a week. Some women take the week off and come in 5 days straight.”

“5…sessions?” you ask, confused by the wording.

“Yes. It’s to ensure the insemination process has occurred an optimal number of times.”

“Wait…so…I’m going to be inseminated multiple times? How much downtime do I need in between each insemination?”

“Hardly any. Our method isn’t like a typical clinic. Most women leave feeling very normal and a lot more satisfied than when they came in.”

“Not like a typical clinic? So…you don’t use the catheter method?”

“We use minimal medical equipment in our inseminations.”

“Minimal…so what does the procedure entail?”

Shoko clears her throat and continues. “So it begins with you choosing one of our doctors. We highly recommend spending some time on this part. It’s essential that you feel attraction towards your doctor. Once you make a choice, they will reach out to discuss how your insemination experience can be optimized for you. You will receive a biodata on their sexual profile, their preferred methods of arousal, and other relevant details.”

“I’m sorry, but what?” You are at the edge of your seat wondering if you’ve entered an alternate dimension. Surely, this was all being made up? “Arousal, sexual profile- why would I need all these details? I thought sperm donors only gave information like height, weight, medical history and stuff like that.”

“Why wouldn’t they? You’re choosing to be bred by them. They would have to make sure their patient is satisfied with the experience.”

“Bred?” You bleat the word stupidly.

“Yes. We are a natural breeding clinic. We use the method nature has provided to us to ensure a pregnancy.”

The gears in your brain start turning and something finally clicks.

“Are-are you saying…I would be having sex with my doctor?”

“That is correct.” Shoko smiles gently at you, pleased that you have finally caught on.

“The human body doesn’t necessarily enjoy having medical equipment inserted into it. All that cold plastic, and the mechanical methods of insertion. It puts the body in a state of stress. Not good for implantation. So our doctors will inseminate you through the process of intercourse.”

 Her words fall like a fog around you. You can feel your heart racing, a flush creeping into your cheeks. It was…insane. The doctor of your choosing was essentially going to fuck a baby into you. As your mind starts pulling up the images of their doctors, each one impossibly handsome and striking, you feel a familiar throb starting between your legs. Wetting your lips, you try to talk to continue with the information session.

“I see. And…there are benefits to this?”

“Yes. Intercourse allows the body to relax, releasing happy hormones. In this stress-free state, in addition to the knowledge that your doctor is someone you’re attracted to and trust, the chance of an implantation doubles.”

You gape at Shoko, your mind reeling from all the information.

“And…when you say the insemination process will be optimized for my best experience…?”

“The doctor you choose will ask you extensive questions about your preferences. What turns you on, positions, dislikes, toys. It’s to determine if they will satisfy your breeding experience. If they feel they might not be a good fit, they’ll recommend another one of our doctors.”

You swallow, your mouth going dry. “I see. And…what else do I need to know?”

“We will start by collecting your medical history and run some blood work to make sure your body is ready for an insemination process. Women who have a domestic partner will need to get both a waiver and a consent form signed by their partner that they have been informed what happens for the insemination.”

“Of course. Makes sense.”

“You will be assigned an emotional support companion during this process. It will either be myself or Mr. Ijichi Kiyotaka. We are there to help ease your nerves and ensure you enjoy the process. And all patients must think of a unique safeword to use during the insemination process.”

“Safeword?” you parrot back, still processing.

“Yes. At any point during the process, should you feel uncomfortable, your safeword ensures all actions cease and your doctor will give you some space to breathe and reassess the situation.”

All you can do is nod along. Shoko gives you a look of reassurance. “I can guarantee that most women are pleased with the results. And our doctors are quite skilled in what they do. It’s natural to feel a little shy and embarrassed but at the end of the day, we all share a common goal- a healthy baby.”

Despite your initial shock, you feel some of your trepidation fade away. Shoko continues.

“If you are ok with all of this, I can send you the forms to get the process started. Once those are filled, you can take some time to decide on your doctor. Then we’ll set up a call with them.”

“Thank you.” You make a split-second decision. “Please go ahead and send the forms.”

“Excellent. I’ll send them to the email you put in your inquiry. Was there anything else?”

You shake your head no. “I think I have all I need.”

“Great! I look forward to assisting you again.” Shoko ends the call and you immediately go the the website again to look at the doctors, one of which will end up fathering your child. Such a hard decision. How will you ever make the choice?

@thesunxwentblack @kentocalls @actuallysaiyan

@belle-oftheball34 @jesssicapaniagua

@figmentforms

© nanamiscocksleeve original work | no copying, plagiarizing or translating

[starlostseungmin]

i think...i think i just found my new favorite fic of all time *crying intensifies* and this is going to my main because this fic fucked me over !!

NATIONAL ANTHEM.

Seungmin x reader. (s,a)

Synopsis: At first, you knew Seungmin as the guy you made out with on a flight home but once the plane landed, you discovered that he's the son of your father's rival candidate for the upcoming election, causing you to be caught between love and loyalty. (13,6k words)

Author's note: Happy birthday to the agent of chaos, Seungmin ☆

Some people might call it fate, serendipity, or kismet, but you're not the type to believe in romantic clichés like that, so let's just call it a coincidence.

It's merely a coincidence that the car got a flat tire on the way to the airport, causing you to miss the flight you were supposed to be on. Otherwise, you would have been sitting in seat 4B on a completely different plane next to a completely different passenger in seat 4A.

As you make your way to your seat, you notice him immediately. A young man sitting in the window seat next to yours, he possesses a rare, gentlemanly beauty. With refined features, a charming smile, and tousled dark hair, he exudes a sophisticated appeal. In other words, he’s the kind of guy who instantly catches your eye.

He glances up as you stow your bag in the overhead compartment, offering a polite nod. You take your seat next to him, trying to keep your cool even though your heart skips a beat.

There’s something about him that draws you in, something magnetic—a quiet confidence that doesn’t need to be loud or showy to be felt.

After you settle in and the plane takes off, you feel the urge to talk to him. You're usually not the type to strike up conversations with strangers, but for some reason, with him, you can't help it. Also, you realize that if you want something to happen, you have to start somewhere.

“Is this your first time flying out of here?” you ask, turning to him with a smile.

He looks at you, his lips curving into a small smile. “No, I’ve been here before, but it’s been a while," he answers, his voice smooth and calm, making something flutter in your chest.

You introduce yourself to break the ice and make interacting easier.

"Seungmin," he says, taking your hand and holding it for a moment as he introduces himself. "Traveling alone?"

"Yes," you answer innocently.

"Business or pleasure?" he asks, a playful glint in his warm brown eyes.

You stare into his eyes and faintly bite your lower lip before answering, "Hopefully, pleasure."

From there, the conversation flows effortlessly. You talk about everything—from favorite travel destinations to the books you're reading. Something about Seungmin makes it feel so natural, and before you know it, two hours have passed in the blink of an eye.

“I can’t believe we’ve been talking for hours,” you say with a low laugh, glancing out the window at the darkened sky.

The Atlantic stretches endlessly below, and the flight attendants have dimmed the cabin lights, casting a soft, intimate glow over the rows of seats.

“Time flies when the company’s good,” he says, his eyes lingering on you in a way that makes your heart race.

The space between you feels charged now, the conversation slowing as the connection deepens into something more. You can feel the pull—the undeniable attraction that’s been simmering since you sat down. Then you catch him glancing at your lips, and you know he feels it too.

Daringly, you lean in slightly, testing the waters, and he responds by shifting closer. The air between you is electric, and when his hand brushes yours, a spark shoots through you.

Both of you hesitate for a moment, caught in that intoxicating space where everything hangs in the balance until neither of you can resist any longer.

Your lips meet in a soft, tentative kiss, and the world outside the window seems to fall away. His kiss is gentle at first, cautious, testing, but when you respond, he takes it as permission to deepen it. He rests his hand on your cheek, and warmth spreads through you as his lips move against yours in a slow, intoxicating rhythm, making you forget you’re on a plane surrounded by strangers.

For those few moments, it's just you and him, lost in each other, the quiet hum of the plane fading into the background.

When you finally pull apart, breathless and dazed, you exchange a look that says everything. This isn't just some fleeting attraction. There’s something real here, something undeniable.

However, once the plane touches down and the cabin lights flicker back to life, reality begins to creep in. It's the altitude, the change in air, and the fact that you now have both feet on the ground. The intimacy of your shared moments with Seungmin starts to fade as you both prepare to disembark.

Everyone stands from their seats to gather their things, and you can feel Seungmin watching as you reach for your bag in the overhead compartment.

"So…" Seungmin begins as you both shuffle out of the row and into the aisle. "Can I get your number? Or at least, a last name?"

Your heart is still fluttering from the kiss you shared just hours ago, but you hesitate. There’s an inexplicable tug in your gut telling you not to give in so easily, to be cautious. You like him—really like him—but you're not going to make it that easy.

You flash him a playful smile. “Hmm... I’m not sure I should make it that easy for you,” you tease, shifting your bag onto your shoulder.

Seungmin raises an eyebrow, his lips curling into a half-smile. “You’re going to make me work for it?”

You nonchalantly shrug, trying to keep things light despite your racing heart. “Let’s just say I like a challenge.”

As you walk together through the terminal, the chemistry between you still crackling, you step outside and notice a car waiting at the curb. The driver, standing beside it, is holding a sign with Seungmin’s name. At first, nothing seems out of the ordinary, until you notice his jacket. The driver is wearing a dark blazer, but pinned to it is a familiar emblem—the logo of a political campaign.

Not just any campaign. It's your father’s rival’s campaign.

Your smile falters as you look more closely, and your heart drops when something clicks. You turn to Seungmin, your mind racing.

“Is that your driver?” your voice comes out sharper than you intended.

Seungmin follows your gaze, looking a bit confused. “Yeah. Why?”

Your throat suddenly feels dry. You clear it before asking the big question. “Are you from the Kim family? The same Kim family running for governor?”

"Yes," Seungmin answers, clearly puzzled.

The Kim family. The Kim family. Your father’s bitter rival in the upcoming election. This isn’t just some random guy you met on a plane—he's the son of the man your father has been railing against for weeks. You feel the blood drain from your face as the realization crashes down.

Seungmin’s expression shifts from confusion to concern. “What’s wrong?”

You unconsciously take a step back. "You’re... you’re a Kim," you say, still in disbelief.

Seungmin opens his mouth to respond, but you cut him off. "Your father and mine—they’re both running for governor."

For a moment, Seungmin seems to be processing what you’ve said. Then his face hardens slightly in understanding. You take another step back, the weight of everything pressing down on you.

“This changes everything,” you whisper.

He looks at you, his eyes searching. “No, it doesn’t have to," he says.

If only he knew how badly you wanted to believe him. But you can’t ignore the reality of the situation. Both of your families are in a brutal political war, and no matter how much you like him, getting involved with Seungmin could blow everything up—for both of you.

"How is it not? Your father accused mine of siphoning money from the city’s budget for his campaign."

"Because he did!" Seungmin says boldly.

"There’s no concrete proof!" you counter.

"Of course, because they know how to make things disappear. Your family is known for their generosity with hush money," he remarks bluntly.

You’ve never been one to argue about things that aren’t your business, but when it comes to your family, you naturally defend them.

"As opposed to your father’s blatant hypocrisy," you calmly reply. "He’s fighting the climate crisis, but his wife keeps taking private jets for her shopping trips."

You come up with a concrete data point. "According to the data, those trips contributed 58 metric tons of carbon—the same amount emitted by 4,625 cars in a day."

That seems to shut him up. His jaw clenches, and it's unfair how good he looks when he's mad.

The driver awkwardly clears his throat, glancing between you both. “Sir, we should get going. Your father’s waiting.”

"It was good to see you," Seungmin says before storming off, childishly bumping your shoulder as he passes.

"Goodbye, I guess," you mutter, scoffing in disbelief as you watch him walk away.

That concludes everything, officially making it an unpleasant coincidence.

-

It was just a coincidence!

That's what Seungmin has been telling himself after spending days wrestling with his feelings, convincing himself that it doesn’t matter, that you are just a fleeting moment, a passing fancy. But the truth is undeniable: no matter how much he tries to push you out of his mind, he just can’t stop thinking about you.

When his friend mentioned that you’re living separately from your family, something shifted inside him. The tension between your families has always been an obstacle, a reason to stay away, but now it seems more like an excuse. If anything, the fact that you aren’t on good terms with your family only deepens his curiosity—and somehow, his feelings.

Seungmin hadn’t planned to find your hotel room, but once he knew where you were staying, he couldn’t help himself. And now, as he stands there, waiting for you to open the door, his heart races in anticipation despite the cool facade he tries to maintain.

After a moment, the door creaks open, and there you are—your hair slightly tousled, your expression showing slight shock to see him there. His heart leaps at the sight of you, but instead of the warmth or excitement he hoped to see, your face remains cold, indifferent.

“Are you stalking me?” your voice is cool, a little too casual, as if you haven’t been thinking about him at all.

There's no going back now, so Seungmin pushes forward. "Well, you're not that hard to track."

You lean against the doorframe, crossing your arms in front of you defensively. “You shouldn’t be here,” you say flatly.

Seungmin notices the flicker in your eyes, something you’re trying to hide. He takes a small step closer, his gaze softening, and playfully says, “Maybe."

You stare at him for a moment, your expression hard, but he sees the hesitation in the way your fingers grip the edge of the door. You’re fighting something, trying to keep a wall between the two of you. He understands why you keep your guard up so high—you’re trying to protect yourself, your heart, and maybe even protect him from the mess that is your life right now.

“You shouldn’t be... with me,” you make it even clearer, but even as you say the words, your voice wavers.

Seungmin takes another step forward, placing his hand near where yours rests. “Let me in, and we'll find out."

Your eyes soften for a brief moment before you quickly look away, the conflict clear in your expression. It’s obvious that you want to shut the door, to push him away, but something is holding you back. Maybe it's the same thing that brought him here in the first place—the connection, the spark between you that refuses to be ignored.

The conflict in your eyes only encourages Seungmin. He leans against the doorframe, his eyes never leaving yours. "Why are you staying in a hotel anyway?" he asks, his voice casual but tinged with curiosity.

You remain aloof, folding your arms across your chest as you raise an eyebrow. “Why should I let my enemy know?"

The coldness in your tone is deliberate, a shield to guard against him, against what you’re really feeling. But he doesn’t back down; his smirk only grows wider.

His hand inches closer to yours as he leans in just a bit closer, making his presence suddenly more overwhelming.

“See, that’s the thing..." his voice drops lower, with a teasing edge.

“What?” you ask, trying to keep your cool even though the proximity makes your heart race.

“We’re enemies,” he states the obvious, his gaze locking onto yours with such intensity that it sends a shiver down your spine.

You let out a sigh, already prepared for whatever line he’s about to throw at you. “And what’s your point?”

Seungmin’s smirk deepens as he leans in even closer, his face now mere inches away from yours. His voice is low and soft, almost a whisper, but filled with mischief.

“Sleeping with the enemy is hot.”

Your breath hitches slightly, but you keep your expression in check, refusing to let him see just how much his words affect you. You tilt your head a little to the side, raising an eyebrow, but the corner of your mouth betrays you with the slightest hint of a smile.

“Is that so?” you respond with a daring smirk.

Seungmin lets out a low chuckle, his eyes flickering with something dangerous and alluring, like he knows exactly how this game is going to end.

As you stand there weighing your options, the tension between you and him becomes unbearable. You can feel the electricity crackling in the air, and despite everything, you find yourself taking a step back, opening the door wider without saying a word.

Seungmin’s triumphant smile tells you that he understands your silent invitation. Without wasting another second, he steps inside, the door closing softly behind him as the world outside fades away.

Before you can even catch your breath, he’s on you—his lips crash against yours with a force that makes you dizzy. The kiss is urgent, an explosion of passion and frustration that has been building between you and him for so long.

His hands grip your waist, pulling you closer as if the mere touch of your skin isn’t enough to satisfy the hunger between you.

All the walls you’ve built, all the reasons you shouldn’t be doing this, crumble in an instant. It doesn’t matter that he’s your enemy. Right now, all that matters is the way his lips brush against yours, the way his breath mingles with yours, the way your hearts seem to beat in sync.

In that moment, nothing else exists but the two of you.

-

Doing it on the bed is overrated to Seungmin, so he grabs you by the waist and swiftly hoists you up, setting you on the nearest table. Fortunately, it's sturdy and at the perfect height for whatever he's planning next.

He plants his hands on the table behind you and aligns his body with yours, fitting just right—hardness to softness, curves to hollows. Oh, he has so many ideas of what to do with you. On second thought, he's fine with paying the fine for property damage if it comes to that.

He leans in slowly, teasing your lips for a kiss, but just a millimeter away from contact, he moves to the side and whispers softly into your ear, "Do you know how many times I’ve thought about this moment?"

You look up at him, eyes wide and seductive, a grin peeking at the corner of your mouth. "I don’t want to know. I want you to show me."

Something flickers in his eyes—something that both scares and thrills you. He places a hand on your waist and glides it up your side, stopping at your ribcage.

"What is it about you..." His words trail off as he places a deep, slow kiss on your lips.

As he keeps your mouth busy, his hand palms your breast through your nightdress. When he pinches your hardening nipple, you gasp at the jolt of sensation.

To return the favor, you slide your fingers beneath his shirt, feeling the hard ridges of his stomach. He's soft yet firm, and if it weren't for the warmth under your fingertips, you’d think he was carved from marble.

"I just can’t stop thinking about you and our kiss," he says, a mix of wonder and disbelief in his voice, before capturing your lips again in a hungry kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth.

Seungmin’s thumb rubs your nipple just right, making your insides melt.

"Look at you, getting weak in the knees for me," he says with a triumphant grin.

He pulls his hand from the table and gives it a new task, sliding under your dress to grip your inner thigh, pulling your hips against his arousal, letting you feel the heat of his desire.

"And what we could have done after that kiss..." he continues, your lips meeting again in a breathless kiss.

Seungmin breaks the kiss to move his lips elsewhere—your neck, your chest. His hand roughly pulls down the front of your nightdress, sending your breasts spilling out. He wastes no time, his lips closing over your skin.

Your hand flies to his hair, tugging as he sucks hard on your breast. You watch as his tongue swirls around your nipple before he fills his mouth with your flesh.

"Seungmin..." you call breathlessly, unsure whether you want him to stop or keep going.

Hearing his name roll off your lips soothes something deep inside him, and he wants to hear it again and again. He pushes the hem of your nightdress up around your waist, and in return, you rip open the fly of his jeans, freeing his swollen member.

"Mmh..." you hum with delight, wrapping your hand around his length, hot and pulsing with desire.

Seungmin mirrors your action, palming your clothed core, his thumb tracing your engorged bundle of nerves. Soon, your underwear is damp with arousal.

"What is it about you, mmh?" he asks, eyes locked on yours.

He pulls your panties aside and runs his long fingers down your folds, drenching them in your essence. As his fingers drag down, he pushes them inside you, earning a broken moan from your lips.

"What is it about you that makes me want more..." He keeps pumping his fingers in and out of you, savoring the way your face contorts in pleasure. "And more, and more..."

As he continues, you fist the front of his shirt, pulling him close, your legs opening wider, bringing his cock even closer to where you want him.

He withdraws his fingers, replacing them with his cock. Your legs are raised slightly higher than the table’s surface, aching for more than just the feeling of his tip rubbing between your folds.

"Stop teasing me," you mutter.

His lopsided grin returns, and before you can react, he thrusts into you hard and fast, burying himself completely inside you.

Your breath hitches, and you moan his name, which he finds incredibly hot. He strokes his tongue over every inch of your mouth, claiming it as he angles his hips to hit your clit.

The tight grip of your body, your sweet mouth, your legs wrapped around him—perfection. He indulges in every part of you. His heart races, his need grows desperate, but he holds back, determined to wait for your high to come first.

When you finally shatter and convulse around him uncontrollably, he allows himself to thrust harder. He grasps your hips, your thighs, pressing your foreheads together so he can look into your beautiful, dazed eyes as he thrusts one last time, losing himself completely as he pours everything into you. As his breath saws in and out, he holds you tight, with no intention of letting go.

The theory is proven: sleeping with the enemy is hot.

-

It’s Seungmin’s third time staying over in your hotel room this week alone, and no, you're not complaining at all. You've already grown accustomed to him—Seungmin is part of your routine now, part of your life, and his absence leaves you feeling restless.

When you're not with him, you recall what he’s done to you: the way he kissed you, caressed you, all the things he's said. Your hand unconsciously flies down to your thigh, wishing he was touching you right now.

But don’t get it wrong—the non-bedroom side of Seungmin appeals to you just as much as the lover side, if not more. He makes you laugh, and he listens to you, even when what you talk about isn’t particularly interesting. He’s comfortable around you, and that makes you comfortable around him. You like how he fills the empty space in the bed, and you also like just lying with him in a comfortable silence that doesn’t beg for questions.

However, tonight is an exception.

As you lie on the bed with Seungmin, still recovering from the passionate lovemaking you shared earlier, you feel the weight of reality slowly creeping back in. The silence between you isn’t uncomfortable, but it feels heavy, as if there are things that need to be said.

You roll over slightly to face him and place your hand on his arm, fingers gently tracing the veins coiling down his inner arm. “I need to tell you something,” you murmur.

Seungmin turns his head to look at you, his gaze soft but curious. “What is it?”

You inhale deeply as you gather your thoughts, looking into his eyes as you begin with the one thing you're sure of.

“I really like you, Seungmin.”

“I know,” he says confidently, one corner of his mouth curling into a half-smirk.

You bring your hand up to cup his chin, gently scratching his jaw with your fingertips as you flash him a soft smile and continue speaking.

“What you don’t know is that my family isn’t speaking to me right now, and that’s something I’d like to change.”

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry,” he says earnestly, softly caressing your cheek.

“My family used to control me—I’m sure you know what that’s like. I rebelled, took off, and a year into it, I found out my younger sister was going through something, and I wasn’t there for her because I was trying to prove some... stupid point,” you explain with a dry chuckle.

His gaze remains steady as he listens to you without interrupting.

“I’m just trying to find my way back in, and I happened to bump into you along the way.”

“And I’m glad you did,” he says, catching your other hand in his and resting it on his chest.

You hold his chin, wanting all of his attention focused on you, because what you're about to say is the most important part of this conversation.

“Being seen with you would send the wrong message, and I really can’t risk making my family more upset right now.”

Seungmin’s eyes soften, and without the slightest hesitation, he nods in agreement. “I understand,” he says calmly.

“Don’t worry, I’m pretty good at secret relationships,” he adds with a playful smirk. “And all the sneaking around... it’s kind of thrilling. I find it really hot.”

You let out a soft laugh, suddenly feeling at ease. “Of course you do.”

Seungmin pulls you closer, gently brushing a strand of hair away from your face before placing a chaste kiss on your lips.

“We’ll keep it a secret, but I want you to know that it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

As Seungmin presses a tender kiss to your forehead, you feel the warmth and reassurance sinking in. For now, the secret doesn’t feel like a burden—it feels like a shared world that belongs only to the two of you.

-

In under a month, Seungmin has learned a lot about you.

In bed, you respond best when he goes slowly, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. But if he wants something more intense—or anything, for that matter—you’re game and eager to please. He couldn’t ask for a better partner.

Out of bed, you live by routine. You get up at the same time every day, then shower away the evidence of morning sex (because Seungmin loves starting the day off right). Your breakfast usually consists of a cup of black coffee and French toast. You share a kiss before parting ways; you get picked up at the hotel entrance while Seungmin makes his exit through the hotel kitchen.

During the day, you help your father with his campaign at the headquarters, returning to your hotel room around 8 or 9 when you have dinner with your family.

As for your evenings, they belong to Seungmin. When you’re not fooling around like hormonal teenagers, you spend time having late-night snacks, talking about random things, or just cuddling in bed—things Seungmin has never experienced with anyone before.

Day by day, he wants more of you, not less.

Tonight, you both decide to watch something on pay-per-view. You rest your head on his shoulder while your eyes are fixed on the large screen mounted on the wall. From time to time, Seungmin kisses you, and it feels so good having you near, as if he were made to be your lover.

Occasionally, you react to certain scenes in the film, your bare legs shifting beneath the hem of your nightdress.

“Are you wearing underwear?” he jokes into your ear.

You part your legs, giving him the opportunity to find out for himself. It’s funny that he only realizes now—you’ve never turned him down; you’re just as starved for him as he is for you.

Seungmin pouts when his fingers meet silky fabric instead of your tender flesh, but that doesn’t stop him from continuing to touch you. You gasp as he massages your clothed clit, and your head lolls on his shoulder.

It doesn’t take long before you’re wet, your essence coating his fingertips as he traces your folds. His cock aches inside the confines of his jeans, as if it’s been weeks since he last had sex, not just hours. He wants you again—craves that closeness, that connection, that unbelievable, mind-blowing pleasure. No amount of you is ever enough for him.

Before long, you give in and pull him down for a hungry kiss, which leads to another, and another, and another...

The next thing he knows, the credits are rolling on the TV screen—the whole film played while the two of you were busy with other things. At the end of the night, you climb into bed and nuzzle your head into the crook of his neck, wrapping your warmth around his body.

Seungmin brushes a stray hair from your face, his fingertips trailing over the smooth curve of your lips before placing a gentle kiss, tender and possessive.

“Goodnight,” he mutters when he breaks the kiss.

The next morning, he finds you wearing his shirt—the one from the very first night you spent together. He doesn’t know how to describe how he feels seeing you in his clothes, knowing you kept his shirt and have been wearing it; all he knows is it’s a good feeling.

Truthfully, he’s been feeling like this a lot lately—whenever you smile, ask for a kiss, or cross the room just to be near him. But also when the two of you aren’t together. He has spent the past few weeks in a euphoric high, grinning for no other reason than thinking of you.

There’s no doubt about it—Seungmin is stupid in love.

-

The fundraiser party is in full swing, the lights casting a warm, polished glow over the room as it's buzzing with conversations and the clinking of glasses. You stand beside your father, perfectly poised, playing the part of the dutiful daughter.

This night isn’t about you—it’s about him. Every charming smile, every polite nod you give is an extension of the image he wants to project: a perfect family, a perfect father. But you know the truth.

As you watch your father work the room, shaking hands and making connections, you know your role is to boost his image—not because he cares about you, but because you are part of his political strategy. Still, this is your chance to prove yourself, to show him you can be the daughter he wants, even if the real connection is long gone.

Then, out of the corner of your eye, you see Seungmin and his brother-in-law approaching. Your heart skips a beat, but you hurriedly calm yourself down, knowing this isn’t the time for emotions—it’s the time for control.

Seungmin and his brother-in-law stop in front of you and your father. Seungmin’s gaze briefly meets yours for a second, and despite the public setting, the intensity of that look sends a small thrill through you.

“Good evening,” Seungmin’s brother-in-law says politely and formally. “We’re here representing our father tonight, and he sends his regards.”

Your father, ever the politician, gives a thin, practiced smile. “Ah, yes, it’s unfortunate he couldn’t attend himself. I suppose running a campaign must keep him quite busy.”

There’s a subtle edge to his words, a slight sneer that isn’t lost on you or anyone, but fortunately, Seungmin and his brother-in-law remain composed, not rising to the bait.

“Of course,” Seungmin replies calmly. “He’s doing everything he can for the campaign.”

Your father’s gaze shifts to Seungmin, sizing him up before his eyes narrow in curiosity. "Seungmin, isn’t it? I’ve heard good things about you. You’ve been quite the asset to your father’s campaign, haven’t you?”

“Oh, please. I’m just doing the best I can to help,” Seungmin humbly replies, perfectly nailing the model son role.

“It’s refreshing to see someone so dedicated to their family’s success. We could all learn from that, couldn’t we?” your father says, glancing at you, making it clear that his praise for Seungmin is a thinly veiled comparison.

You keep your composure, your smile unwavering, even as a knot of discomfort forms in your stomach. You entertain yourself with the thought that your father has no idea what is really going on—that the very man he is praising is the one you are secretly seeing. The joke is on him.

“Have you met my daughter?" your father asks, gesturing toward you as if you haven’t been standing there the whole time.

Seungmin turns to you, his expression steady, but his eyes flicker with something only you can recognize. He holds out his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise,” you reply, keeping your smile polite. You have to continue acting as if nothing has ever happened between you and him.

Hours pass as you mingle with other guests, but the pressure of keeping up appearances starts to weigh on you. Toward the end of the party, when most of the guests are distracted, you slip away, catching Seungmin’s eye as you do. He follows discreetly, and soon you find yourselves in an isolated part of the building, the muffled sounds of the party still audible.

The moment he comes into sight, you let out a sigh of relief, allowing yourself to drop the mask you’ve worn all night.

"I missed you," he whispers as he steps closer. Before you can respond, he presses his lips to yours, the kiss filled with longing and the tension that has been building up since your last secret meeting.

"I missed you too," you murmur between kisses.

In the dimly lit, secluded hallway, you and Seungmin find a rare moment of peace. His hands cup your face, his lips moving urgently against yours, pouring all the longing and frustration of the past few days into every kiss.

It is reckless, but being with him feels too good to resist. In fact, it feels so good that you almost forget the dark shadow that has been hanging over your mind. Almost.

"My mom found out about us," you blurt out after breaking the kiss.

Seungmin freezes, his lips barely an inch from yours, his brows furrowing as he processes what you’ve just said. "Wait... what?"

“I guess we didn’t fool the doorman,” you say with a heavy sigh as the gravity of the situation sinks in.

For a moment, Seungmin just stands there, panic rising in his chest. If your mom knows, it won’t be long before both of your families find out, and he knows exactly what that would mean for both of you—and for his father’s campaign.

“So... you told her the truth?” he asks, focusing on the possibility that your mom might indirectly support this relationship.

“Obviously, I didn’t want to risk everything with my family for some fling that wasn’t going to last,” you reply meekly.

Seungmin blinks, then his lips curl into a teasing smile. "Oh, so it isn’t just some fling?”

“Seungmin, I’m serious!" you whine in frustration, giving him a playful slap on the chest.

"You can’t keep sneaking into the hotel anymore. It’s too risky, and if my father finds out...” You can’t even finish your sentence without feeling sick to your stomach.

Seungmin’s smile fades as he realizes the danger you are both in. It feels as if the walls are closing in on both sides, and it won’t be long before someone else notices the two of you together. His mind races, trying to think of a solution, somewhere you can be together without the prying eyes of your families.

Just as he opens his mouth to say something, a voice interrupts, and both of you stiffen.

“Seungmin?”

His brother-in-law is standing a few feet away, his eyes narrowing as he glances between the two of you, catching sight of Seungmin’s hand still holding yours.

None of you speak, and in that moment, it feels like the quiet before a storm about to break.

-

Seungmin’s brother-in-law has always been sharp, and tonight is no exception. As you and Seungmin slipped out of the party, thinking you were being discreet, he spotted the two of you. From the moment you met, he sensed something was already there. He observed further, noticing the sneaky glances, the looks that said more than words, and the way you interacted with each other. He must admit, both of you are poor actors.

When his brother-in-law corners the two of you in the hallway, Seungmin braces himself, expecting him to spill everything to his father immediately, knowing what he could gain from it.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?” Seungmin asks, suspicion creeping in. He knows his brother-in-law has always been loyal to the family, especially to his father, so this calm, nonchalant reaction doesn’t add up.

Instead, his brother-in-law glances between you both with a knowing smile and says, "You two are playing a dangerous game, but you know what? I won’t stand in your way."

That doesn't make Seungmin relax. If anything, the words make him more cautious. "And why’s that? Why are you suddenly on my side?”

“Seungmin, I already think of you like my own brother,” his brother-in-law replies simply, with enough sincerity to convince anyone who hears him. “I want you to be happy."

Seungmin remains quiet for a moment, still wary, but realizing he has little choice. Whatever his brother-in-law’s motives are, this is the only lifeline he has right now.

“So, what’s the plan?” Seungmin finally asks, keeping his voice steady.

“I have a boat. It’s docked not far from here. No one checks it, no one comes by." His brother-in-law reaches into the inner pocket of his jacket and pulls out a small set of keys, handing them to Seungmin. "You two can stay there, alone, as long as you need."

Seungmin’s gaze flicks from the keys to his brother-in-law’s face, still unsure if he can fully trust him. But this is the best option you both have right now. He decides to take a leap of faith and takes the keys from him.

"It's docked on the west side, slip twenty-three," his brother-in-law informs him. Before Seungmin can say anything else, he adds, “Oh, you may want to check the first aid kit on the boat.”

Seungmin’s eyebrows knit in confusion. “What for?”

His brother-in-law puts on a mischievous grin. “Let’s just say you’ll find some essentials in there."

Seungmin’s suspicion deepens, but he doesn’t question it further. Maybe his brother-in-law is being sincere, so Seungmin stops overthinking it. On a more important note, you both need a place to hide, and this is as good as it’s going to get. He glances over at you, and with a silent agreement, you both know you have to take this opportunity, no matter the risks.

“Thanks,” Seungmin mutters, cautious but grateful. “I appreciate it.”

His brother-in-law pats him on the shoulder, giving him a reassuring nod. “Just be careful,” he says.

With that, you and Seungmin slip away into the night, heading toward the boat where, for at least one night, you can finally be alone.

-

The boat is bigger than you thought it would be, bobbing gently in the moonlit water. As you step onto the deck, you feel a sense of freedom, as if, for once, the outside world can’t reach you. You settle into the small but comfortable space, the tension between you fading into something softer, more tender.

When it’s just the two of you, you can finally let your guard down and be your authentic self. You walk up to him and slip into his arms for a warm embrace.

"It's just you and me now," you say, resting your forehead against him.

"Just you and me," he repeats, gently tilting your head with his hand on your chin, and places the gentlest kiss, treating you like a fragile piece of art.

Seungmin leads you through the cabin, the scent of saltwater and wood lingering in the air, mixing with the faint aroma of the sea breeze drifting in from the open hatch.

“This is nice,” you comment, running your fingers along the edge of a worn leather couch. “But do you think your brother-in-law keeps any food around? I’m starving.”

He lets out a soft chuckle and makes his way to the small kitchenette, opening the fridge with a creak. “Looks like frozen pizza is on the menu,” he says, pulling out the pack and showing it to you.

As Seungmin prepares the frozen pizza and tosses it into the microwave, you head to the bedroom to find something comfortable to wear. In the bathroom, you find a soft bathrobe neatly folded on the top shelf. Without a second thought, you change out of your dress and into the robe. As you tie the belt around your waist, you sigh in relief, feeling a great sense of comfort.

By the time you return, Seungmin is plating the pizza, the smell filling the small cabin. He has also found a bottle of champagne in the cabinet, the label a little worn and the drink lukewarm. Both of you eat in comfortable silence, exchanging small smiles between bites, enjoying this rare moment of normalcy.

When the food is all gone, you lean back in your seat with a contented sigh. The dinner is simple, yet it feels more special than any you’ve had before.

Being the neat person he is, Seungmin wastes no time cleaning up after dinner.

“You can clean up later,” you tell him, sipping your warm champagne.

“There’s not much to clean anyway,” he replies, taking the dirty plates back into the cabin.

Remembering what Seungmin’s brother-in-law said before you left, you decide to go on a little hunt for the first-aid kit he mentioned and see what’s inside. It doesn’t take long to find it tucked away in one of the cabinets in the control room. As you open it, you blink in surprise.

“Well, well…” you murmur, pulling out a small Ziploc bag among the usual bandages and ointments.

Seungmin raises an eyebrow when you bring it over and show him. He shakes his head, already deciding it’s a bad idea.

You shrug, holding the pack out to him with a playful smile. “Why not? Let’s live a little.”

“We shouldn’t even be touching his things,” he says, leaning back on the sun lounger.

“What are you talking about? We’ve just eaten his frozen pizza and drunk his champagne,” you remind him, settling onto his lap.

“I can buy those things back for him,” he replies, folding his hands behind his head.

“But he mentioned it, so that means he’s fine with it, right?”

He shakes his head, eyes closed, unwilling to hear more persuasion.

“Come on,” you urge, taking a rolled blunt out of the bag and rolling it between your fingers. “Just one. It’s a special night, isn’t it?”

He opens his eyes and finds himself unable to resist you when you smile so sweetly. He reaches for the blunt.

“Alright, fine," he gives in, "but just one.”

You light it and take a slow drag, letting the smoke curl lazily into the air before handing it over to him. His fingers brush against yours as he inhales, and you watch as his shoulders visibly relax.

The two of you take turns smoking, the night enveloping you in a peaceful cocoon. The quiet of the water, the gentle sway of the boat, and the faint glow of stars above make everything feel far away, as if the world and its complications couldn’t touch you here.

“I could get used to this,” you softly mutter, your voice barely louder than a whisper as you nuzzle into Seungmin’s side, sharing the sun lounger with him, the blunt hanging loosely between your fingers.

Seungmin exhales long and slow, his arm coming around your shoulders to pull you close. “Yeah, me too.”

The smoke, the sea, and the quiet lull you into a different kind of peace—an escape from everything, if only for tonight.

With one last drag, you finish the rest of the blunt yourself. You rest your head on Seungmin’s shoulder, your hand on his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his breath. For once, you don’t feel like you’re running away from something.

“I wish it could always be like this,” you murmur, more to yourself than to him. “I feel happiest when it’s just us, alone like this.”

Seungmin shifts slightly, his arm tightening around you as if he wants to hold onto this moment forever. He presses a soft kiss to the top of your head, and your heart flutters in response. He doesn’t say anything at first, just holds you closer, and you wonder if he feels the same way—that the world outside seems so distant when it’s just the two of you.

“I feel it too,” he finally says. “When it’s just us… it feels like everything makes sense. Like we’re the only two people in the world that matter.”

His words make your heart ache with a bittersweet warmth. In a moment like this, it’s easy to forget about the chaos waiting for you back home.

Here, it’s just you and him.

You stare at him, your faces merely inches apart. The moonlight casts a soft glow across his features, and God, he’s just so beautiful. His eyes meet yours, and the longer you look into them, the more you see the depth of his feelings. There’s something tender, something vulnerable—you’ve never seen him look at you like this before.

Seungmin swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing as if he’s gathering courage. Then, in a soft yet steady voice, he says, “I love you.”

The words hang in the air, suspended between you, and for a moment, you forget how to breathe. He’s never said it before, and hearing those words now, spoken under the starry sky with the waves lapping gently against the boat, it feels… magical.

“I love you,” he repeats, his voice more certain this time, his eyes steady on yours. “I don’t care about the rest of it—our families, the politics, all of it. I love you."

Tears well up in your eyes, not from sadness, but from the overwhelming joy of hearing him say those words. You feel the sincerity in them, the weight of what it means for him to admit it, to declare it, despite everything.

You reach for him, cupping his face in your hands. Using your thumb, you softly rub his cheek. “I love you too, Seungmin, and I think I’ve loved you for longer than I can admit," your voice breaking as you try to hold back your emotions.

Seungmin leans in, closing the small distance between you, and kisses you softly, slowly, as if savoring the moment. His lips are warm against yours, and in that kiss, you feel everything: his love, his promise, his fear, and his hope.

-

It's the wine, the blunt, the sense of freedom you're feeling at the moment, and the way you keep replaying the moment Seungmin said those three words in the back of your mind—all of those things make you high, so high that you believe you're on the way to cloud nine.

As you sit straddling him, looking down at him, you feel more attracted to him than ever. It's his beautiful face, his short dark hair that complements his features well, how the white shirt he's wearing accentuates the breadth of his shoulders, and the rolled sleeves exposing the evident veins on his arms. Oh, he's just so fucking hot.

You prop your hands on each side of his head and look into the two orbs of his eyes. He remains unfazed by the intensity of your stare, but he would be stupid not to see the want in your eyes.

Unable to help yourself anymore, you lean in and kiss him, and it feels so good when he kisses you back, responding to your desires. But the kiss is just one of many; you want more, you need more.

As your lips are locked in a rapturous kiss, you take his hand and put it around your neck; his touch feels hot against your skin. To allow him more access, you untie your bathrobe and let it fall, pooling around your waist, exposing your bare chest to him.

Seungmin slowly rises from his seat, wrapping his arms around you without breaking the kiss. You whine when he finally detaches his lips and moan when he places them on your neck next.

"Seungmin," you seductively mewl his name as he nibbles on your ear, your head spinning when he sucks on the sensitive skin.

Your heart is pounding in anticipation of what he's going to do next. You look down and find him gazing at you through his lashes as he drags his lips down your chest. His hands are also making their way to the front when, all of a sudden, he does the unexpected.

Seungmin pulls your bathrobe back on you, tying the belt around your waist with his hand. You look at him in slight shock and disbelief; it's a moment later that you're finally able to speak again.

"Why not?" you ask, blinking at him.

"Not here," he simply says, endearingly tucking your hair behind your ear and then kissing your cheek.

What he does would usually make your heart flutter, but you feel bitter from his indirect rejection of your want. "Yeah but why not?"

"Because it's indecent," he innocently answers.

You scoff because back in the hotel room, Seungmin wasn’t shy about doing indecent things—some of which are far more than just indecent.

"Why? We're on a boat, we're alone, we're under a starry sky... it's romantic," you point out why doing it here would make for a special occasion.

He takes your hands and looks at you. "Then let's get inside."

"No," you flatly refuse with a pout.

"Come on," he says, shaking your hands to get your attention. Unsuccessful, he leans in and kisses your jaw before bringing his mouth close to your ear.

"I know another way to make you see stars," he whispers in a low, sultry voice.

Ugh! You hate how easily he cracks through your defenses. You smile at him and nod, allowing him to lead the way to the cabin, through the small living room, and finally into the cramped bedroom.

He grabs you by the waist and steers you to the bed, laying you down gently. He doesn’t hesitate to come on top of you, hovering above you as he captures your lips in a hard, deep kiss that consumes you whole.

Your hands refuse to remain idle; you pop every button on his shirt without looking, and when you’re done, you part it open, impatiently placing your hands on his body, trailing the outline of his abs with your fingertips.

Seungmin lets go of the kiss to take a breather, helping you with the shirt, shaking it off his shoulders, and tossing it aside. But the task is not done there; you loop your finger around the belt loop on his slacks and pull him close.

The head of his belt clinks as you take it off and hastily tear open the zipper. Without wasting a second, you pull his slacks down until they pool around his ankles.

"Oh, la la," you exclaim delightedly, biting your lips at the sight of him standing gloriously naked before you.

"Are you going to do something about it?" he asks, his voice heavy with assertiveness, hinting that he demands you to.

"Uhm... not sure," you coyly say, slowly wrapping your hand around his length and stroking it as it gradually hardens in your palm.

You land a few licks under the tip and around the length, and when you’re ready, you take him into your mouth, compensating the rest with your hand. He feels hot, hard, and veiny, slipping in and out of your mouth while you maintain eye contact with him.

Seungmin grips your shoulder, his nails faintly digging into your flesh, but he’s aware that it might hurt you, so he tangles his fingers in your hair, tugging at it when pleasure overwhelms him.

"Stop!" he gently says, though his voice remains assertive.

You slowly pull away with a string of saliva connecting your lips to the tip of his cock. He runs his thumb over your lips, separating them before shoving it into your mouth, and you gladly suck on it.

There's a loud pop when Seungmin takes his thumb out, and with his hand on your chest, he pushes you onto the bed, sending you lying back down. He parts your legs and kneels on the floor, wanting to return the favor to you.

All the times he has pleased you with his mouth, he’s done a wonderful job, so you lay on your back and close your eyes, knowing you’re in for a treat.

The kisses he places on your inner thighs are electrifying; his lips are soft as they land on your clit, and his tongue feels hot as he licks a long stripe down your folds. He uses two fingers on each side to pull your folds apart, diving in and drowning himself in you.

"Oh..." you moan as his tongue teases your entrance.

Every kiss, every lick, every place his tongue explores, and every gentle pressure he applies to your clit—Seungmin calculates everything to give you the utmost pleasure. But tonight, he isn’t being generous; he stops just when it starts to feel so good.

You almost groan in frustration, but before it can escape your mouth, he catches your lips in a hungry kiss, making you forget your complaints, your ability to speak, and your whereabouts, but not your wants.

You part your legs wider to welcome him, seeking that closeness, wanting his delicious cock as close as possible to where you want him the most.

"If you don’t put it in, I think I’ll die," you dramatically mutter against his lips.

Seungmin lets out a chuckle and kisses you again. "I want that embroidered on a pillow."

The feeling of your needs finally met—oh, there’s nothing like it. When it comes to Seungmin, though, you’re not sure you’ll ever be satisfied; you keep wanting more.

More of those hard kisses on your lips, more of those hands kneading your breasts and gripping your legs, more of those moans slipping from his mouth into yours, more of his cock slipping in and out of you, more of those hard, shallow thrusts making your eyes roll back—more and more and more...

He isn’t lying when he says he knows another way to make you see stars. As you hit your high and your eyes screw shut, you see nothing but stars.

Seungmin comes not long after, collapsing on top of you. His lips immediately search for yours, kissing you with such haste when they find you.

When you finally pull apart, you both lay there in the silence of the night, wrapped in each other and the warmth of this tender moment. The world outside feels far away, and for now, this is enough—just the two of you, tangled in each other, both of your heads full of stars.

-

Things are going well. Your relationship with Seungmin remains a secret, and the results of the pre-vote are out, revealing that your father is leading the race by an 8% margin. Everyone is happy, all is well—but you have this nagging feeling in your chest that things won’t stay like this for long. You hope it's for the better, and God, you hope that's true.

To celebrate your father leading in the pre-vote, your family holds a brunch this afternoon. Being invited to this is a significant step toward winning your way back into the family. Your little sister has taken your hand under the table, squeezing it as a sign of solidarity. She hasn’t said it out loud, but you can feel that she’s happy to have you here, part of the family again, even if only for a moment.

However, as the minutes tick by and your father doesn’t appear, a gnawing feeling settles in your chest. You try to brush it off, focusing on how far you’ve come. After all, you’re here, included, proving that you can still be the daughter your family wants you to be.

Then your mother calls you and asks you to follow her to your father’s study. She makes you sit on the leather sofa in anticipation. Her expression is soft, but there’s something behind her eyes that makes your stomach churn, and you know something is wrong before she even speaks.

“When was the last time you saw him?” she asks, her voice quiet but direct.

Your mind flashes back to that night with Seungmin on the boat. You haven’t told anyone, and as far as you know, no one has seen you. But your mother’s gaze is sharp, and she’ll know if you lie.

“I… I went on a boat with Seungmin,” you admit meekly, your voice small and low. “But we were discreet. I swear, no one saw us.”

Your mother lets out a heavy sigh, her hand going to the nape of her neck as she massages it lightly. She doesn’t say anything but takes out her phone from her tweed jacket, tapping the screen a few times before handing it to you. Your eyes widen as you look at the screen, the shock hitting you like a punch to the gut.

There on the screen are photos—compromising photos. Some show you smoking; others are more intimate, even naked. You feel the blood drain from your face. These are pictures from that night on Seungmin’s brother-in-law’s boat, now plastered across the internet.

“Mom…” you stammer, trying to make sense of it. “There was no one there except us. This can’t be happening. It wasn’t Seungmin… it couldn’t be.”

“I’m afraid you weren’t as discreet as you thought,” your mother says, her expression composed but with a grave undertone. “Your father found out about the relationship. He’s furious, and this… this could ruin everything for him.”

You feel faint and hurriedly lean against the table to steady yourself. “No… no, it can’t be. Seungmin would never—”

The idea of Seungmin betraying you is unthinkable, but the pictures don’t lie. Someone had been there, someone had taken them, and now your life is spiraling out of control.

“I don’t believe it’s him,” you insist, shaking your head in denial. “Seungmin wouldn’t do this to me. He cares about me.”

“Think about what’s best for you,” your mother says, her voice rising slightly as she struggles to keep her composure. “Whether it’s Seungmin or his family behind this, we can’t take any more risks. You need to stay away from him, at least until I can figure out what’s really going on.”

Your heart aches, torn between your love for Seungmin and the loyalty you’re still trying to prove to your family.

“I’m sending you back to your hotel,” she says in a tone that leaves no room for argument. “And you’re not to leave until I say it’s safe. Your father is already angry enough, and we can’t afford any more mistakes.”

Before you can protest, she leaves, the door clicking shut behind her, leaving you standing in the middle of the room. You want to believe in Seungmin, but now doubts plague your mind. A question gnaws at you: Is your love for Seungmin worth risking everything you have left?

-

The car ride back to the hotel is a blur of tears and shattered trust. Your chest feels heavy, the weight of betrayal pressing down on you, suffocating you.

The man you trusted, the one who held you close, is part of the very family responsible for leaking those photos. Whether Seungmin is directly involved or not doesn’t matter anymore—his family is, and that’s enough for you to push him away.

The car pulls up to the curb, and the doorman is there instantly, opening the door and offering his hand to help you out. You feel faint, your legs trembling from the emotions raging inside, but you force yourself to stand, to walk, and to keep your head up if you can.

Just as you step onto the pavement, a familiar hand grabs your arm. You stop in your tracks, your heart aching in your chest.

Seungmin. He’s there, his eyes wide with worry, as if he hadn’t expected to see you like this. And oh, the sight of him, the man you thought you could trust, brings everything crashing down.

Without thinking, you rush at him, your fists pounding against his chest in a fit of anger and betrayal.

“How could you?!” you scream through your tears, each punch that lands fueled by the pain inside. “How could you let them do this to me?!”

Seungmin doesn’t fight back. He just stands there, letting you hit him, his face filled with shock and pain as he tries to reach for you, to explain.

“It wasn’t me,” he tries to say, but the words are lost in the chaos of your emotions. “You know I’d never—”

“Stop lying!” you shout, cutting him off.

Your emotions hit their boiling point, the pain overwhelming you. “You expect me to believe you didn’t know? That this wasn’t some way to tear me apart?”

His eyes widen in disbelief, his hands reaching for you, but you slap them away. “I don’t know who’s doing this, but I would never let anyone hurt you like this. You have to believe me!”

“Believe you? After everything that’s happened? I’ve been humiliated, and you come here pretending like you had nothing to do with it?” Your voice rises with every word, and you’re too far gone, too hurt.

He tries again, stepping closer, but you shove him hard enough that he staggers backward. “I can’t even look at you right now. Get out! Get the fuck out of my face!” you scream, tears streaming down your cheeks.

Seeing you like this is painful for him, but not as painful as knowing he caused this. His hands tremble as he tries one last time to reach for you. “Please, don’t do this—let’s talk—”

Drawn by the commotion, hotel security steps in between you and him, blocking him from approaching you.

“Sir, you need to leave,” one of them says, placing a firm hand on Seungmin’s shoulder.

“Wait! Just let me talk to her!” He tries to push past them, but they hold him back, stronger.

It’s too late. You’ve already turned away, not even sparing him a last glance. He can’t bear the thought of being the cause of all this.

As the door of your hotel room clicks shut behind you, the silence fills the room, and everything comes crashing down again. This time, you don’t have anything left to fight with, so you let the pain and heartbreak consume you, sinking to the floor as tears flood your eyes.

It hits you now—you’ve pushed away the one person you thought you could trust, but everything feels broken beyond repair. It feels like you’re losing everything: your family, your trust, and the man you thought was different.

Leaning against the closed door that seals you off from the outside world, you wonder if there’s anything left to hold on to.

-

The more Seungmin thinks about it, the more certain he becomes that there is only one person who could have leaked the photos—someone who knew about the boat, someone involved. His brother-in-law.

He doesn’t waste any more time. He grabs his car keys and drives straight to his brother-in-law’s place. A storm rages in his chest, anger mixed with dread, his head full of accusations and possible answers.

When he arrives, he skips the courtesies and storms inside. He finds his brother-in-law leaning against the kitchen counter, looking surprised but not startled to see him.

“Seungmin? What’s going on?” he casually asks.

Seungmin doesn’t stop until he’s standing right in front of him, glaring into his eyes, refusing to be fooled again.

“You know damn well what’s going on. You’re the only one who knew about the boat, the only one who could’ve tipped off the paparazzi. Tell me the truth!" He slams his hand on the counter, causing a spoon resting on the edge of a bowl to clatter. "Did you leak those photos?”

His brother-in-law’s face tenses, the calm façade slipping, replaced by panic. “Look, Seungmin, before you go off—”

“Just answer me!” Seungmin urges, his voice cracking with anger. He can’t bear the thought that someone so close to him—someone he thought of as a brother—has betrayed him like this.

After an intense silence, his brother-in-law sighs and rubs his forehead. “Fine. Yes, I hired the paparazzi.”

Deep down, Seungmin knew this would be the answer, but it doesn’t stop the anger and betrayal surging through him. His hands ball into fists at his sides, his body shaking from holding back violence.

“You set us up? Why?”

His brother-in-law looks at him and licks his lips before answering, “It wasn’t just me, alright? I had permission—permission from your father.”

Seungmin could understand his brother-in-law’s motive: he wants to get on his father’s good side, to be acknowledged and approved. But his father? His own father, whom Seungmin respects and admires, someone he has helped campaign for because he believes in him?

“My father? He knew? He approved this?” Seungmin stammers, struggling to comprehend it.

“Your father’s been watching you, Seungmin. He knows about your little affair with her, and he’s not happy. So yeah, he gave the go-ahead. The idea was to expose her, make her the problem,” his brother-in-law explains, and as if he couldn’t say anything more stupid, he adds, “It’s nothing personal, just politics.”

Seungmin knocks everything off the table—plates, glass, spoon—all clattering to the floor. “You ruined her life for politics!" he shouts, hoping it’ll knock some sense into his brother-in-law’s crooked mind.

“You know how this works, Seungmin,” his brother-in-law says calmly, still leaning against the counter. “Your father is just trying to protect you.”

“Protect me? By destroying her? By ruining her reputation?” Seungmin’s jaw clenches as he fists his hands so hard his knuckles turn white.

“She’s not innocent in all of this, and you know you shouldn’t have gotten involved with her in the first place,” his brother-in-law says, his gaze piercing.

It’s betrayal upon betrayal. Seungmin’s mind is still struggling to process the fact that his father orchestrated the entire thing, using his brother-in-law to tear them apart.

Without another word, Seungmin storms out, but his brother-in-law daringly runs his mouth once more, “You’ll thank me later, Seungmin. Trust me.”

But Seungmin isn’t listening. His mind is busy planning what to do next—how to fix this, how to make things right. His number one priority is not letting his family ruin your life any further.

-

Seungmin storms into his father’s office, despite his father clearly being in the middle of an interview. His father hurriedly signals his secretary to escort the interviewer out of the room, knowing Seungmin is barely containing his anger.

The man behind the desk doesn’t flinch, already knowing why his son is there. He’s always composed and in control, but today, Seungmin isn’t going to let him keep that control.

“You set me up,” Seungmin spits, his voice sharp with betrayal. His father looks up, surprised but not shaken. “You used your own son to destroy her, to ruin her life, just because of some political rivalry?”

His father leans back in his chair, calmly putting his hands together in front of him. “It’s not about you, Seungmin. It’s about our family’s legacy. You were distracted, involved with the wrong person. I had to make sure you stayed focused on what really matters.”

“What really matters?” Seungmin’s voice shakes with disbelief and anger. “What really matters is that you took someone I care about and humiliated her! For what? Your campaign?”

“That girl was trouble,” his father remarks coldly. “She’s from a family that stands against everything we’re trying to build. You should have known better.”

“I don’t care about the politics!” Seungmin shouts, stepping closer to his father’s desk, unafraid for the first time of going against his father’s principles. “I care about her, and you—you ruined her for your own gain.”

His father stands, towering over the desk and staring intensely into his eyes. “You think you can just walk away from this? From your family? We’ve sacrificed everything for you, Seungmin. You’re going to be a part of this, whether you like it or not.”

“No, I’m not. I’m done with all of this. I’ll never be a part of this family again,” Seungmin says, shaking his head, done being a pawn in his father’s political games.

His father’s eyes darken, and a cold smirk rises at the corner of his lips. “You think this is all about one girl?” he scoffs.

“You’re naïve, Seungmin. You haven’t been in this world long enough to understand how power works. Sacrifices have to be made. And if you walk away from this family, from me, there’s more where that came from.”

Seungmin’s chest tightens with disbelief. “What do you mean by that?”

His father leans forward, his voice low and dangerous. “You think those were the only photos? There’s more from her past. I have them, and if you walk away now—if you so much as think about turning your back on this family—I will release every last one. She won’t have a life left to salvage.”

His father pulls open a drawer and takes out a file, showing Seungmin the photos he’s been keeping as a weapon. “But if you stay—if you fall in line and keep your head down until the election is over—I’ll make sure they disappear.”

Seungmin is hit with another wave of betrayal. His father had planned this all along, dangling her reputation as leverage over him. He expected manipulation, but this? This was beyond anything he could have imagined.

“You’re willing to destroy everything just for power?”

His father doesn’t flinch. “It’s not about power, Seungmin. It’s about winning. And I have won.”

-

TEN DAYS LATER.

The election is over, and his father has indeed won, but to Seungmin, it means he has nothing left to lose.

The man in front of him has torn apart the one thing that means the most to him, and for what? A title? A seat in the governor’s office?

As everyone gathers around his father, congratulating him and celebrating his victory, Seungmin can't help but wonder: does his father feel the slightest bit of disgust for what he did to achieve this win? Seungmin certainly does. He can't look at his father the same way anymore and he refuses being related to him apart from sharing the same DNA.

Seungmin makes his way toward his father, and when he's close enough, he extends his hand. His father doesn't hesitate and grips it, shaking it with a triumphant smile plastered across his face.

"Are you happy now?" Seungmin asks calmly.

"Well, I've won," his father replies with a sickening smirk.

There’s not a hint of remorse on his face for what he did to his own son, which only convinces Seungmin further that he wants no part of this anymore.

"But you've lost your son," Seungmin boldly remarks, each word carrying a finality his father can’t ignore.

Without waiting for his father’s reply, Seungmin turns on his heel and walks away—from his father, his family, everything. He leaves the office behind, as if it’s already become a distant memory.

There's only one thing left to do now.

He drives straight to your father’s campaign headquarters because he doesn't know where else to start. Your family is the only one who knows where you are, and although he doubts any of them would tell him, he can’t—he mustn't—give up.

When he arrives, the place is busy with activity, but it offers a different kind of atmosphere compared to his father’s headquarters. He balls his hands into fists in determination and enters the building without hesitation.

"Apologies, sir, but the headquarters is strictly for staff only tonight," a security guard blocks him from stepping inside.

"I need to talk to someone in there," Seungmin says, hoping the guard will understand and let him through.

"Unless you’ve already made an appointment, we can't let you in, sir," the guard says firmly, crossing his arms and standing in front of the doorway.

Reluctantly, Seungmin steps back, trying to come up with a new plan. He considers waiting outside until one of your family members leaves. It’s a flawed idea, but it’s the best one he has.

Then, as if by divine intervention, your younger sister appears at the reception desk. Seungmin takes a step closer to the entrance, ignoring the guard, and does everything he can to catch her attention, even calling her by her full name.

She looks over her shoulder and, upon seeing him, her expression turns cold and defensive. She never trusted him, and Seungmin doesn’t blame her. Still, he’s desperate, and this might be his only chance to find you.

“I need to know where she is,” Seungmin says, his voice steady but pleading. “I need to see her before it’s too late.”

Your sister crosses her arms, scrutinizing him. "Why should I help you? After everything that’s happened, why should I trust you?"

His throat tightens, but he meets her gaze with unwavering sincerity. “Because I love her. I had no part in what my father did. I’d give up everything to be with her. I already have.”

There’s a long pause as your sister’s expression shifts, her defenses slowly lowering. Perhaps she sees the earnestness in his eyes, the depth of his regret, and his determination.

She turns to the receptionist, writes something down on a piece of paper, and hands it to him. “If you break her heart again, I swear to God...” she mutters, leaving the threat unfinished.

Seungmin’s heart leaps. He’s just met her, but she already feels more like family than his own ever has. “Thank you," he says, his voice full of gratitude.

“She’s leaving the country tomorrow, so you’d better hurry,” she adds, turning away before he can say anything more.

Every second becomes precious as his heart pounds with a new sense of urgency. This is it. He won’t lose you—not to his father, not to the mess his family has created. This time, nothing will stop him.

-

The country house is quiet, almost too quiet. The only sounds are the soft rustling of the trees outside and the occasional creak of the old wooden floorboards beneath your feet. The room is stifling, but it’s your thoughts that press down on you the most. You fold another shirt and tuck it into your suitcase, packing for tomorrow, planning to leave nothing behind.

It was a mistake to come back here, and you know it now. This city was once a refuge; now, it feels like a prison, a place to hide. You’ve become a liability to your family, and your father made that painfully clear when he sent you here. You were told to stay quiet, remain hidden, and leave without a trace in the morning.

There’s no future for you here anyway.

Tears prick the corners of your eyes as you zip up the suitcase. You can’t take any more of this—feeling like a pawn in a game that was never yours to play. Leaving is the only choice left. It’s for the best, even if it means abandoning everything you’ve ever known. It’s not an easy decision, but you force yourself to push through it.

Then, suddenly, there’s a knock on the door, breaking the stillness of the night.

Your heart leaps, and for a moment, you freeze. You remember your father’s warnings: Never open the door. No one is to know you’re here. Stay hidden. You take a step back, away from the door.

Another knock comes, this time more urgent.

You remain still, holding your breath, praying that whoever it is will go away. But then you hear a voice—his voice.

“Please... it’s me, Seungmin.”

Your heart races at the sound of his voice, familiar and full of emotion. You badly want to rush to the door, to throw it open and fall into his arms, but the alarm bells in your head ring louder. You can’t. You shouldn’t.

“I know you’re in there,” Seungmin says, his voice breaking between words. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Please... just let me in.”

You clench your fists, torn between what you know is right and the ache in your chest. You stay quiet, pressing your back against the door, fighting the overwhelming urge to respond.

"I had to find you," Seungmin continues, his voice softer now, almost desperate. “I couldn’t let you leave without seeing you. I can’t lose you—not after everything we’ve been through.”

Tears well in your eyes as you lean your forehead against the door, trying to keep your emotions in check. You *shouldn’t* let him in. This is a mistake—all of it—but hearing him on the other side, so close yet out of reach, is tearing you apart.

“I just want to be with you," Seungmin whispers. "I love you.”

The words break something inside you, and before you realize what you’re doing, your hand is on the doorknob. Torn between fear and love, you know you shouldn’t open the door, but your heart is aching for him. No matter how hard you try, you can’t ignore the pull you feel toward him.

“Please, don’t shut me out," he mutters, his voice thick with hopelessness.

Your walls crumble almost immediately and with shaking hands, you unlock the door and pull it open, revealing Seungmin standing there, his face full of worry and relief. His eyes soften the moment they meet yours. Without a word, he steps forward and takes you into his arms.

He holds you tightly, his warmth familiar and comforting. He feels like home. Finally, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding.

Seungmin buries his face in your hair, whispering, “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

You pull back just enough to look up at him, your eyes searching his. In that moment, without thinking, you lean in and press your lips to his—a kiss full of longing and everything you’ve been holding back for so long.

In the quiet of that night, with the stars shining through the open window and the future uncertain, you know that, despite everything, being with him is the only thing that makes sense.

-

The soft glow of moonlight filters through the curtains, casting a delicate sheen across the room. Your naked bodies are entwined beneath the sheets, the warmth of the moment lingering between you.

Seungmin hovers above you, his chest rising and falling as he gently caresses your face, his fingertips tracing the outline of your cheek like you are something sacred. His gaze is intense but tender, as if memorizing every part of you, still unable to believe you are really here in his arms.

His touch is soft, but the weight of the emotions between you is palpable. You can feel it in the way his fingers brush over your skin. He hasn’t said much, but his eyes tell everything—relief, love, fear of what could have been if he had lost you for good.

“I almost lost you,” he murmurs, his thumb grazing your lips. You lean into his touch, savoring the feeling of being so close, so connected. “I don’t ever want to feel that again.”

You gaze up at him, your heart aching with affection. Here, in this moment, it is just you and him, and nothing else matters.

Seungmin lowers his head to place a soft kiss on your forehead, then your lips, as if sealing some unspoken promise between the two of you.

“Let’s go somewhere,” his lips brush against yours with every word. “Let's start over, somewhere far away from all of this.”

The invitation comes so suddenly that you don’t know how to react. You blink up at him, feeling a mix of emotions—hope, love, but also fear. You love him deeply, more than you thought was possible, but you don’t want him to lose everything for you the way you have for him.

“Seungmin…” you whisper, your voice barely audible as your hand comes up to cup his face. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to lose your family, not like I did.”

“I’m sure,” he says firmly, his voice filled with conviction. “This, us, it’s what I want. I want to leave all of this behind and just be with you.”

A tear rolls down your cheek as you stare into his eyes, seeing the truth in his words, the earnestness of his intentions. While it makes you indescribably happy, it also breaks your heart a little. He is giving up everything—his family, his place in their world—just to be with you. You love him more for it, but it's also a heavy burden to bear.

“You really mean that?” you ask, your voice trembling with emotion.

Seungmin nods, his forehead pressing gently against yours. “Yes. This is what I want.”

It feels like the world has finally shifted, like things are starting to fall into place. Even though the future is still uncertain, you believe in him, in the two of you together, and that's enough.

“I love you,” you whisper, pulling him down into a soft, lingering kiss. “As long as we’re together, everything’s going to be okay.”

He kisses you back, holding you tightly against him, and in that moment, everything becomes clear. This is not just a mere coincidence. This is fate. You and Seungmin, together, is fate.

-

The hum of the plane's engines is comforting, familiar, as you both settle into your seats, side by side.

The memory of that first flight together—the stolen glances, the whispered conversations—comes rushing back, but this time it feels different. This is a new beginning, a chance to start over.

Seungmin glances over at you, a playful glint filling his warm brown eyes. He shifts in his seat, turning toward you just like he had the first time.

"Hi, I’m Seungmin,” he softly says, offering his hand in mock formality, his smile full of warmth. “Traveling alone?”

You can’t help but smile back, slipping your hand into his. “Nice to meet you. And I’m traveling with someone very special, actually.”

You both chuckle, the familiarity of the moment easing the tension of everything that came before. It's like stepping into a memory but with the promise of something better ahead.

Seungmin’s eyes soften as he looks at you, and he leans in closer, his voice lowering.

“Business or pleasure?” you ask playfully, replaying the conversation that had sparked your connection all those months ago.

“Neither,” he answers, his voice gentle but certain. “I’m traveling for a happy ending.”

His words send a flutter through your chest, and you feel the warmth spread all the way to your fingertips. You look at him, your heart overflowing with emotion, knowing that this isn’t just a flight—it is a leap into the unknown, into something new and full of possibility.

You squeeze his hand, feeling the familiar warmth of his skin against yours. “A happy ending,” you repeat with a smile.

As the plane begins to taxi down the runway, he intertwines his fingers with yours, holding on tightly, unwilling to let go. You both stare out the window, watching the world fall away beneath you, your hearts beating in sync.

And as the plane lifts off, climbing higher into the sky, you know that whatever the future holds, as long as you are together, everything will be okay.

The past is behind you now, and in this moment, with Seungmin by your side, the world feels wide open, full of hope and promise. Into a happy ending, you go.

-

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[kanekisfavoritegf]

PERFECT LOVER: The Life of Nanami Kento the 35 Year Old Virgin

MINORS & BLANK BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT YOU WILL GET BLOCKED

SYNOPSIS: Kento Nanami, a 35-year-old introvert with a tendency to avoid social interactions, has made a conscious decision to steer clear of romantic entanglements. However, everything changes when he meets a new colleague at his birthday party, (Satoru's Idea). From the moment they meet, he is mesmerized, finding himself increasingly unable to resist her magnetic presence. Like taking a bite of forbidden fruit, he becomes ensnared by the allure, delving into a realm of infatuation and finding himself unable to break free. As he delves deeper into this newfound connection, Nanami begins to realize that he craves more than just a fleeting experience and yearns for more than just a fleeting taste of what she embodies.

Table of Contents

WORD COUNT: 1.8K

Part 2 1/2 was added to the beginning! So if you have already read it, skip to where it says “TWO DAYS LATER.”

CHAPTER THREE:

The drive from Kento’s apartment was short enough to make you consider walking next time. If there was ever another situation in which you’d be leaving Kento’s apartment in the morning.

“And where the hell have you been?” You practically jumped out of your skin at the sound of Yuki’s voice. You turned around to meet her smug face from across the hall, smirking like she knew something you didn’t.

“Such a warm welcome from my favorite neighbor,” You quipped, unlocking your door.

“You were at Kenny’s, right?” 

“Kenny? Who i– Oh! Kento. Yeah.”

Yuki followed in after you, her eyes lingering on the clothes you threw into the washer. It was only then that she realized you were wearing her university’s graphic tee. This might have been an ordinary occurrence any other day, but not when you spent the night at her old university friend and coworker’s house, especially not Nanami’s.

“You didn’t sleep with him, right?”

“No, of course not.”

“Good.” Yuki sighed.

“Good? Is he dating someone?” You felt your breath hold as you wondered aloud, only releasing it once answered.

“No, he doesn’t date.”

“Like at all?”

“Nope.”

“Is there a reason?” 

“It's not my story to tell.” Yuki shook her head. “He is touchy about the subject.”

You only nodded.

“Not even casual hookups?”

“Hey! No.” You would have been offended at the harshness of Yuki’s voice if her expression of horror had not been so amusing, “He is off limits.”

“What do you mean?”

“He is the lonely virgin; one hookup with you, and you will ruin him.” It was a little surprising to hear Kento was still a virgin, but not because of his age, but his demeanour. The way he carried himself. Indeed, he must have had someone he wanted to be with that intimately; surely someone would want him so intimately, but then again, you only knew him for a few hours; who knows what he is actually like.

“You make it seem like I am some succubus.”

“You might as well be Y/N.”You only rolled your eyes at her. “Listen to me, Y/N,” Yuki’s hands cupped your face like a child needing grave warning. “You can not deflower poor Kento.”

“He isn’t a child.”

“I know, but–” Yuki lost the words on her tongue, knowing no explanation would do it justice. “Just don’t. He isn’t Satoru or Suguru. He is a decent man, and if you slept with him, hell, if you kissed him, it would lead to places I don’t think you’d want to go to.”

“You hummed a sound of agreement and went to your bedroom to change. Thoughts of Kento are still in your mind; the more Yuki speaks about him, the more you want to pull back each layer of him to see what exactly makes him the way he is. 

Yuki’s words still echoed in your head as you showered “hell if you kissed him, it would lead to places I don’t think you’d want to go to.” But it was already too late. Kento Nanami was undeniably curious about you, just as much as you to him.

TWO DAYS LATER

“Hello, Mr. Nanami! If I read my email correctly, you are supposed to be showing me around today.” 

This was the first time Nanami had been caught off guard. For some reason, you stood in front of him in business attire, a skirt cut just above the knee, black stockings and a white dress shirt hidden beneath a black cardigan.

 He stared down at you as you stood before him, a nervous smile painted on your face as he did so. His expression was even more blank than he had given you three days ago. It almost seemed like he was angry, but the more he stared at you quietly, you couldn’t help but feel as though he may have just forgotten you. And the very idea of Nanami forgetting you made you slightly (very much so) annoyed. 

Was kissing strangers after housing them in his very nice, very clean apartment a common occurrence for him? Was walking around in shirts too tight around women clearly captivated by him an everyday experience for him???

Okay, you understood it wasn’t technically a kiss to be written in the history books and that it was you who kissed him. But that didn’t take away the feeling of aggravation snaking its way up your spine.

“I’m Y/N.” You stated.

“I know.” Was all he said in return, turning to his desk and logging into the company computer, leaving you standing there awkwardly as he faced his display screen.

You peered over his shoulder, letting a few braids dip down and lay across his chest as you watched him. 

Nanami only let out a shaky breath as you did so, doing his best to ignore the heat that came off of your body as you pressed into him from behind. It didn’t help that you smelled like vanilla and chocolate; whatever perfume you wore was slowly snaking its way around his neck and choking him.

Choosing not to acknowledge your closeness, he focused on your name, typing it in slowly as he waited for an email mentioning you. When it failed, he then searched the word intern, and sure enough, it popped up. In his spam, a place where all emails specifically from Satoru Gojo were sent.

NANAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, I need a huge favor: babysit the new hires and show them around the office. I missed the flight yesterday, so I’ll be back next week.

Thanks!! 

Satoru.

“How does one miss a flight and choose to return in a week, not the next day?” You asked, a small giggle escaping you. Kento only shook his head, huffing slightly, before turning back around to face you.

“I’m Kento Nanami.”

“I knew that.” You replied shortly, and if Kento could kick himself in the knee, he would ten times over.

“Yes.” 

“Yes?”

“Yes,” he repeated bluntly. Stay here one moment. When I return, I will give you a tour of this department. I shouldn’t be over ten minutes.”

Before you could even respond, he had vanished, disappearing down a corridor and around a corner, leaving you standing there, slightly bewildered.

Kento silently cursed himself in the supply closet. 

He was hiding.

 In a closet.

 Kento Nanami, the 35-year-old virgin, was hiding in a closet because a pretty woman smelled nice. It didn’t help that you had said his name the way you did. 

Smooth and slow and utterly… normal. Kento knew he couldn’t blame all his perverted problems on the object of his desire, no matter how much he wished to.

He sighed heavily, knocking his head into the door in front of him before opening it and emerging once again into reality. 

All he needed to do was keep himself calm and composed, not let his eyes drift to your lips, preferably avoid all eye contact, and not mention last weekend under any circumstances.

When he approached his desk again, you weren’t alone. Suguru stood over you as you leaned against his desk for support.

“Oh, it’s Mr. Nanami!” You pointed out, bringing Suguru’s attention to Kento as he approached you.

“Mr. Nanami?” Suguru smirked at you with a tilted head. 

“Should I not call him that?” You panicked for all of 3 seconds before Nanami cut in.

“No, no. It is fine.” Letting out a shuddered breath, “Call me whatever you want.” A weak smile went with his words as he twisted to meet the other man.

“Don’t you have a meeting to be in? Where is Yuki?”

“She is already in there stalling. I thought I’d welcome the new hire once again since Satoru has decided to skip his duties. Geto shook his head at the thought of Satoru sipping on mimosas and eating fresh fruit instead of doing his job, his very well-paying job.

“Well, I don’t want to keep you anymore. We can grab lunch or something later!” You suggested before sliding your way to the blonde man. “And you.” Nanami held his breath as you pointed his way, “You owe me a tour.”

“That I do.” Kento said, throwing a tight smile at Geto, trying to mask the ridiculous feeling of jealousy that began blooming in his chest. All Geto gave back was a knowing smile, a smile that you and Kento alike mistook for one given to yourselves, adding to the tension in the room.

***

Walking through the office was probably one of the most awkward experiences of your life.

Whenever you tried to open a conversation, Kento quickly shut it down or stirred it toward work. 

This would have been fine had he looked you in the eye at least once as he showed off every inch of the new environment.

“This is our break/rest room. A couch, blankets, pillows and noise-canceling earphones are stored away for when you need to sleep.”

“Ooo, that sounds amazing.” You peered inside since no one was currently rested. 

“Yup. All you need to do is flip the card to the red side, lock the door, and then, for at least forty minutes, peace is yours.”

“We pull many all-nighters here as the marketing team; with such a small group, taking forty minutes to one-hour breaks is pretty common.”

“Do you often sleep here?”

“No,” was all he said as he glanced over you, making his way to the kitchen, assuming you’d be following behind him promptly.

With each passing second, your patience wore thinner, and you couldn’t help but huff in annoyance.

As you stood in the final room of the floor, Nanami continued to drone on about the new kettle and fridge space, practically facing the wall opposite you.

“What is your problem?” You snapped at him.

“Excuse me?”

“Why aren’t you looking at me.”

“I am looking at you.”

“I am not talking about now; I am talking about this whole tour, or better yet since I approached you this morning.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You won’t look at me.”

“Y/N–” Kento started.

“You can call me Miss L/N,” You corrected, “I was nervous at the idea of starting a new job in a higher position than before, especially with all of you guys, who already know each other so well, so to be shown around by someone I “knew” it gave me a little bit of comfort. But if this is a problem for Mr. Nanami, then I can wait for Sugu- Mr. Geto, or Yuki to show me around after their meeting. “

“No.”

“No?” You repeated back at him.

“I am sorry.”

“Okay???”

“I struggle talking with women.”

“And looking them in the eye?” 

“Yes. To women I am attracted to, I struggle.” He now faced you fully, the tips of his ears burned bright red. You would have found this cute, had it not been utterly shocking.

Oh.

“It is ridiculous, I know, but I am trying to get it under control, so don’t worry about me. I am sorry if I have made you uncomfortable in any way.” And before you could respond, Nanami was back at his desk. Leaving you gobsmacked in the middle of the office Kitchen.

“Oh.” You whispered to no one, hand reaching out and touching your lips.

Preview...

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"CHAPTER FOUR" UPLOADED

[starogeorgina]

𝐅𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

Pairing: Alys Rivers x reader x Aemond Targaryen

Warnings: Smut, hints of breeding & knife kink, slight dubcon (under the influence of magic), swearing

“Do you believe in what I tell you, princess?”

You were tense; the question felt like a trick, so you didn’t answer, and Alys continued to brush your hair, standing behind you at the vanity. Your stepfather, Prince Daemon, had warned you that there was more to Alys Rivers than meets the eye. She was a trickster, a witch. And nothing Alys said was to be believed. Especially when she just said you’d be married and have a child before the week was over, and your babe would end the brewing war between your family.

However, you did find her alluring, which was the only reason you kept her close.

The castle was dark and damp, but you found comfort in it. Daemon had left on Caraxes a few days prior to returning to Dragonstone, while you remained with your own dragon in case anyone’s loyalties started to sway when the green army eventually arrived.

“You don’t believe me now, princess, but in time you will.”

They said Harrenhal was cursed, and you had started to suspect the raven-haired beauty was one of the ghosts that haunted it.

—

You weren’t sure what happened. One moment you’re being informed your uncle has been spotted on Vhagar nearby, and the next Alys head is underneath the skirts of your thick black dress, buried between your thighs, making you temporarily forget about the looming threat. You throw your head back as you buck your hips upward, and Alys slides her tongue further inside you.

Climaxing, you lay back on the bed, feeling limp. You expect the other woman to stop, but soft moans start falling from your mouth again as quickly as they stopped when Alys starts licking your oversensitive clit.

“Oh, fuck. That feels so good.”

Everything starts to become a haze of euphoria…

“Oh, little niece, I’m guessing the rumor of your virtue being intact was indeed only a rumor.”

You snap your head up, and you meet your uncle Aemond’s eye. How did he find you right away? Has someone told him where to find you? Did hearing your moans lead him right to you? Your mind was too fuzzy to think straight. You detested him. Kinslayer. Yet, Aemond, seeing you in such a vulnerable position somehow thrills you. You had wanted to wait until marriage before being touched. The stain of bastardy wasn’t something you ever wanted for your future children to experience.

“I am a maiden.”

Aemond scoffs, not believing a word you say.

“She speaks the truth, my prince.” Alys brings her head out from beneath your skirt and teases a finger between your folds, then slides it inside you. The intrusion was slightly painful, but not completely unpleasant. “Look at her face; see how she reacts to my touch. The princess has never felt pain or pleasure like it before.”

Aemond sits behind you on the bed, and the smile on his face fills you with nothing but hatred and venom.

“Craven!”

“You little-”

“Uh, gods!” You squeeze your eyes shut when Alys adds a second finger. She pushes the fabric hiding her hand up to your waist so your uncle can observe what she is doing to you. “I—I—”

You weren’t even sure what you were trying to say. Aemond notices your nails digging into your palms as your fists clench together and takes pity on you. He links your fingers with yours and holds your hand above your head until you climax again.

—

The last twenty-four seem like a hazy memory; you weren’t sure if it was adrenaline or magic causing everything to feel so... strange. You and Aemond married in an impromptu Valyrian wedding ceremony. One that would surely anger both your mothers, but in time they would see the benefits.

“It’s for the good of the realm.”

The witch's words echo in your head as she rubs circles on your clit while she uses her skilled tongue on the prince. You and Aemond sit beside each other on the edge of a large bed naked as Alys ‘prepares’ both of you to consummate your marriage. You still hated and blamed Aemond for what happened to your brother, but Alys convinced you that this would be mutually beneficial. You have gained the power of Vhagar as a dragon for the blacks, and Aemond would one day possess the power he seeks by marrying the heir to the throne.

A flurry of jealousy shoots through you as Alys gags on your husband's cock, but you can’t let either of them know that, so you hold her silky dark hair out of her face. You were equally possessive and proud, a trait of the dragon.

After a few more moments, you say, “Perhaps we should get on with it, uncle.”

Alys pulls away from the both of you; she wipes the saliva off her chin, then begins to undress. Aemond chuckles as he moves off the bed and stands between your legs. “Indeed, we should, wife. Lean back on the bed.”

When you lay back, Aemond lines himself up and slowly pushes his cock in. As you whine, feeling yourself being stretched around Aemond’s cock, Alys climbs onto the bed beside you and palms at your breasts. “In four moons, these will start to fill with milk to feed the prince’s babe. A healthy boy.”

The thought of you having heavy, swollen teats leaking with milk because of him causes Aemond to thrust into you faster. “You are mine to breed, and you’ll take my cock every night like a good wife until your stomach has swollen.”

“Day and night,” Alys giggles.

Feeling bold, you take one of Aemond’s hands, which is gripping your hip tightly, and bring it to your clit. Knowing what you want, he begins rubbing at it quickly. You didn’t want him to take pride in knowing how good he’s making you feel, so you latch your lips around Alys hard nipple to muffle your moans.

He groans, feeling you clench down on him. It doesn’t take Aemond much longer to spill his seed inside you, and even after he cums, his cock is still hard.

You remove your mouth from Alys breast. “Move up the bed.”

She does as you say, and you roll around on your stomach. Noticing Aemond’s clothes that have been tossed onto the floor, you bend down and retrieve his blade.

Alys stares at you wide-eyed when you spread her thighs open and use the blade to cut her small cloth off, then toss it back onto the floor. You had considered teasing her with the blade, but seeing the wet patch on the flimsy fabric covering her cunny, you decided to please her instead. You swipe your thumb through her folds, gathering wetness, before putting pressure on her clit. Arching your back, you look over your shoulder, hoping Aemond would have gotten the hint, but he looks lost in a trance, watching as your finger slides into the other woman with ease.

“Aemond…”

He takes the cue and slides his cock back inside you. His thrusts are rougher this time. You turn your attention back to Alys and start licking her clit while adding a second finger. Her soft moans encourage you to keep going, even after Aemond spills his seed inside you for a second time and makes you cum again with his fingers. You don’t stop sucking and licking at Alys clit until her thighs stop trembling.

You lean forward and rest your head on Alys soft breasts. Aemond slumps onto the bed, exhausted. He wraps his arm around your waist, holding you close. With one hand, you gently stroke the back of his long silver hair, and with the other, you run your thumb over Alys bottom lip.

“I believe in what you tell me.”

[robolvrr]

silk baby ✧⁠*°•

idw prowl x gn! human reader

nsfw. tags: lingerie, hatesex, petplay (wink), humiliation kink. let's get kinky.

you infuriate him.

it's almost insulting. the uniform your kind has given you, the shiny, golden lapels and glittering badge. you've served no war, fought no battles and have a fraction, no, a blink of his lifetimes experience in diplomacy.

when he first heard of your transfer from optimus himself he scoffed audibly.

files upon files were downloaded and analyzed of you immediately.

you're young. all of your people compared to cybertronians are. but you're still fresh-faced, no scars of time and still speak in those sweet, hopeful hums that makes his spark crackle.

he decides that reaction is hate.

and he shouldn't be feeling it, shouldn't be questioning his alliance and the brand on his chassis when he thinks about how easy this entire miserable planet could be wiped from the plane of existence.

somehow, humanity has managed to cause so many problems that not even his processors and planning can delegate the stress of having to pretend he was anything but superior to the generals, captains and presidents that adored to speak to them as if they were subordinate.

when you first meet prowl, you think, he must despise you. his frown on his angular features is stubborn and unmoving. he speaks to you like you're inconvenient.

"this is all wrong."

"do you even check your notes?"

"i am shocked to see just why they chose you for this role."

"don't bother me again until you find your voice. stop stuttering like a fool. you're an advisor, are you not?"

he's cruel. you're unable to find a response as he always slinks away, before you can seek a fellow autobot to properly report him.

sometimes, you can see the smirk in that disapproving gaze.

you do what most humans do. try to adapt. try to appeal. he likes to think in his spare time of you as a slobbering dog, trailing his pedes on all fours. drooling for even an opportunity of companionship.

you, on the floor. crawling. that's a bitterly tasty thought, indeed.

the rejected sentiments are visibly breaking you, slowly over time. starts with you trying to relieve his load in reports. attending his meetings, even though you're not required. he even heard you trying to argue with your own command, in some hopes they'd lessen their restraints on their current agreements with the extraterrestrials.

it's laughable. did he ask for any of this? no. you still do it.

dog. filthy, needy, pretty dog.

--------------------

you're frustrated.

you have so much pressure on you, all the time. all the poli-sci courses and straight a's don't compare or prepare for being the middle man between the united states and co governmental bigheads and literal, walking cars.

and jets. and motorcycles, you learn.

you should be out at parties. kissing boys and girls and someone you don't remember, crying about tests and complaining to your friends about the shitty sink and your shitty landlord.

instead you get this opportunity shoved in your lap.

to be taken seriously, you pin yourself in sleek hairstyles and make sure your appearance is flawless. your boots are polished. you smell like fresh laundry and evergreen.

most of the autobots have taken a liking to you, or at least listen to your points. most have gotten the common sense having lived on earth for as long as they had to not purposefully offend.

prowl? oh no. no, he made a point to make sure you felt belittled.

why does his opinion mean so much to you? is it because his tone is always cold? is it because you feel metaphorically and literally pinned under his gaze, some twitching fly beneath his precise needle?

he knows each and every weak spot in that barely nurtured ego of yours to jab.

you lie to yourself. lie that it makes you stronger. laugh like he's just jealous.

your sheets are sweaty. his voice is level, that you remember.

his hands. servos. so articulate.

you should feel sick when your own weasels from between your thighs.

you should feel ill for thinking of him when you see the slick wetness dripping down your forearm.

would he tell you you did a good job?

--------------------

the teapot in the shared downtime area whistles.

you're drowsy. caffeine does little to put any pep to your step so you resort to accepting your fate, hoping to bullshit your way through your rotation and worry about the repercussions later. today was boring. that was the issue - you're drained and understimulated.

not long enough it seems.

"slacking off, mm?"

a visible shake flirts up along your spine. the look you give over your shoulder is barely short of disrespectful.

"there is nothing else of importance for me to do. why would this room exist if not to relax between shifts?"

prowl towers. the doorways are higher, larger, to accommodate for humanity's new, glossy allies. you ignore the way his optics narrow. like he's studying you. like you've already fucked up.

"sounds more like failed excuses to me, diplomat. though.."

he's close. too close. uncanny valley crawls in your stomach as you struggle to forget nights ago. the dusting of his metal plates pattern similar to freckles.

that'd be cute if he wasn't awful.

".. mm, yes. you humans are so delusional. it's admirable, truly. patting yourself on your backs but too lazy to put in the effort to earn anything."

now it's your turn to frown.

"you're wrong. i work my ass off-"

"tsk, tsk, language."

"oh, fuck off!"

the tea kettle steams loud. and then it's jostled off the burner and you're scrambling, a scream caught in your throat.

cybertronians are strong. beasts, truly. they come in all shapes, sizes and talents but one thing is clear - they're living, breathing metal. there is little that can actually harm them.

prowl has your chin snatched between his digits. his helm is close and he has no need to breathe, but his ex-vents are sharp and his voice is still deliciously icy.

"see? animals, all of you. mutt. you bark and whine and complain. and i was supposed to take you seriously?"

your work shirt has lifted up your midriff. you ignore the throbbing at your core.

either he knows or he doesn't care, though it's prowl and it's rare he's in the dark.

there is no imagining how his vocals dip.

"predictable."

------------------

prowl finds fabric to be gaudy.

a prized trade elsewhere is commodity down here. he is much more trained on revealing what lays under that tight, useless suit of yours.

he doesn't bother answering any of your questions, only responding by yanking you by the back of your hair and letting his dentae sink into the flesh of your neck until it bruised.

he's rough. he knows you cannot take it, so when you're crying out to a god he doesn't know, his smile finally starts to edge his otherwise stern expression.

"good."

there's a snarl of disgust and despair when he gets all the buttons loose.

you are a spike tease.

underneath the bravado is the coverings of a slut.

it's gorgeous. soft, genuine silk. the straps are thin and bows dangle at the connections to heart-shaped lace that barely covers your chest. there's frill.

he tears a thread and unweaves it, just as he does with you.

your panties are yanked down your legs. they leave a red mark with how roughly he deposits them ..

for future observation.

his grip wrenches your hips, until a hole is found and he's jamming in and you're mewling, panting, huffing for him.

the "i hate you"s and "you're terrible"s just piston his pace faster.

his audials resort to memory banks that store all the pitiful expressions you make. he gets you on your hands and knees after all and when he's clutching your throat between sloppy thrusts, his grin is sharp and horrid.

"bark, puppy."

robolvrr 2024.

[soapoet]

A letter from your future spouse

like & rb if it resonates ♡

01.

Hello,

You must be up to something, because I cannot get you off my mind. Day and night you haunt me. I type away on my computer, answer phone calls, and I could swear I saw you in the corner of my eyes. At night as I begin to drift, I hear your voice and jolt up, only to be met with an empty room entirely void of you. When you're really here with me in the flesh, I look at you only when you look away. Will I be punished for these stolen glances? You and I, are we forbidden, and if so, who will be the judge?

I thought my life was stable, and in many ways it was. Though it was painted grey, dull. I lived dreary mondays every day of the week. I chased after new experiences, new achievements, new opportunities, new things. New, new, new, new. But it was not until you walked into my life that I truly felt the warmth of the sun and the rain on my skin. Was I colour blind all along? Because you show me colours I never even knew existed. You were truly new. A new light in my life that shines so brightly, but never hurts my eyes. Still I look away. It's not proper, is it? I've been caught up in the crossfire, amidst a battle between head and heart. You're in my heart, you have it in your hands, but didn't I say you are constantly on my mind too? It seems then, my dear, that this battle has a victor, and now I must prcoeed to gather up the courage to speak what I've so carefully kept hidden.

Oh, but you're so observant. You already know. You knew all along, didn't you? You so innocently sat there, knowing I'm a moth to the flame, and that come hail or shine I would find my way to you. You're a mastermind. An architect, the keeper of the blueprint to our tale. I am in awe of you. You were supposed to be a problem, a silly crush I could get over and never act upon, but now I'm thinking of things borrowed and blue. The first day that I saw you lightning struck. It marked the beginning of the end for many things in my life which I had kept around because it was fine. Not perfect, just fine. Suddenly I saw all the cracks and flaws, saw that which I would tolerate, go along with, even when I really didn't want to. You shook me to my core. In many ways, you ruined my life. For the better, I am sure. But for a moment there I wondered what horrors you had unleashed upon me. With your face so sweet and innocent I thought surely you would be unable to trigger earthquakes. And that even if you could, surely you were much too sweet and much too kind to do such thing.

Yet here I stand, amidst the rubble of what I used to call my life. Everything came crashing down because none of it was as stable as it should've been. I'm rebuilding, slowly, and could use some guidance or inspiration. What's your favourite colour? Would you like these tiles for the kitchen? I want to build my life up to look like the perfect home for you. I wish to keep you safe. You've weathered storms just as I have. Had to grow quickly, like dandelions through concrete. You're tired, and I don't want to see you quitting so I am building you a shelter. I promise to keep watch while you get some rest in my arms. When you're healed and strong enough I will provide you the space and time so you can chase your dreams in peace. You can use our home as the foundation for your castle. I know the power you hold, and I will be there to help you wield it.

Sincerely, your future spouse.

02.

Hello,

Coincidentally that is exactly when I knew. "You had me at hello" is such a cliché, but I swear that it is true. I always know trouble when I see it, and you are quite the nightmare indeed. I hope you take no offence to my words. I say what I mean and mean what I say. That typically results in problems, but to me it's another one to toss onto the existing pile. I have a lot of baggage, but if you don't mind, I won't mind yours. Maybe we could get a big storage locker and shove all our baggage in there, lock the door and toss the keys, skip town and never return. It'll all be auctioned off one day for somebody else to deal with. Wouldn't that be nice?

Where was I? Right. Hello. That's when I knew. I always do. I fall very quickly and passionately. Really I leap off into free fall all by my own judgement, sometimes perhaps lack thereof. I know a pretty thing when I see it, though pretty isn't enough, is it? I've learned that the hard way. As I've learned most things. Behind me lays a trail of burnt bridges and broken hearts, though most of those pieces are my own. Most people are unable to tell. I have a reputation, but I think the judgement is unjust. Wholly unfair. I have developed trust issues. Betrayal cuts deep. You know that, don't you? I keep people at bay, and guard my territory fiercly. I am very loyal and I am known for my equal bark and bite. I want to be your guard dog. I swear I will lunge for the jugular if anybody dares cross you. I am protective, albeit a little reckless. I have a lot of scars to prove it.

Little birdies may warn you of me. Tell twisted tales of my exploits. I've been called toxic. Perhaps there is truth to some of it. My love burns bright and hot, but it never wavers. I crave closeness, and wish to crawl into the heart and mind of my target of affections like a spider trespassing into your home to weave its webs in the darkest corners. I want to know you better than anybody else. Know your body, mind, heart, and your soul like it is my own. You will never be left wanting reassurance, because I have known doubt, and doubt is my enemy and I will fight it on sight. You will always know that I am yours. With me you have nothing to fear. Least of all me or my commitment to you and us.

Perhaps we both had to scrape our knees as we crawled through painful loves before we found each other. Together we'll be powerful. A dynamic duo, partners in crime. Those closest to me would come forward as witnesses to my ride or die nature, and you as my life partner will be my biggest testament to this part of my character. You're not too different, are you? You would die for your people, fight with your bare hands if you had to. Together we will face the world. I'll have your back and you'll have mine, a 360° of the battlefield. We can tear down and build up whatever we want. We can build an empire, or bring them down. With you by my side, everything is possible. I would move mountains and part seas for you. Your love is an enchanted rose and I am a beast, and I will wait for you. Come to me quickly.

Sincerely, your future spouse.

03.

Hello,

I hope my words don't bore you with their simplicity. I also hope that you've been well. I have so many questions, but let us not rush. There is no finish line in love, correct? I've been alright. Y'know, ups and downs. I've kept to myself a lot. Self improvement has become akin to an occupation. I always strive to do and be better. I may not seem the kind, but I have a soft heart which I guard closely. I like old timey romance and watch sappy things when I am down. Please don't tell anybody! I am a rock, but for a long time I was but a pebble, kicked around and misplaced. I have moved around a lot and all I want is to grow roots. Would you mind sparing a little spot in your garden? I just need a little sunlight and a fall of rain to grow. I promise I won't waste your time and do my all to never disappoint you.

My affections build slowly. Too slow for many, but I hate accidents and mistakes, at least my own. I strive for perfection, though people tell me it does not exist. I see it in you, though, so they must be wrong. Sure, you have your flaws, but the glue between your cracks glisten in the light and are still beautiful to me. I really do enjoy the simple things. Do you stop to smell the roses too? I have a gentle love to offer. A kitchen bathed in morning sunlight and the smell of pancakes in the air. I'll eat the first pancakes, because the ones I bring to you in bed should be perfect, and the first one never is. You deserve so much good, and I really hope I can provide a lot of that good to you by my own hands.

I am shy, and don't always have a way with words. I will tell you through music how I feel, or paint you on a canvas in all your favourite colours. I'll help you sculpt your dreams and wishes. I'd make a great assistant. I would love to follow you on your way up ladders and mountains. I believe in you like some believe in a higher power. You can put your faith in me too. Love is a choice, and I will make the choice to love you every morning when I rise. You are the kind of fun that doesn't make me ill. The adventure I am unafraid to embark on. We can play our own roles and support each other. I'll be of service to you at every step if you need me. In return I only ask that you hold me close and never let me go.

I fear abandonment, and have known a life without guidance. I've become rigid, and hope that you'll help me bend without snapping and show me the wonders of the unknown. With you by my side I won't be afraid. My skepticism will not be a hindrance because you lead me into uncharted territory as though you have a map, and I trust that you know where we're going. And should uncertainty rise, well, I have dealt with that beast plenty, and I can tame it and send it on its way should it bother you. I will always stand by you so that never again will you need to face challenges alone. You are a promise I will keep forever if you let me.

Sincerely, your future spouse.

04.

Hello,

Have you eaten? Taken your meds? Keep yourself hydrated. Take even just a sip. I apologise if I'm fussing, but I've always been a caregiver. People depend on me. At home, at work, even my friends. I get taken advantage of pretty easily, and I try my best to keep my boundaries. Though I am admittededly prone to a bit of a saviour complex. It's not so much that I don't think others cannot get up on their own, I just think they shouldn't have to. A helping hand is often rare these days. For many, even just the day to day grind is unbearable, so any chance to take the load off another's shoulders and let them rest and catch their breath I'll happily take.

I try my best to be fair, but often lose sight of what's best for me. I want to help and support everyone who needs it, but in my quest to save everyone, I have often abandoned myself. My care is often expected and thus taken for granted. Nobody seems to understand how much it hurts. Well, until I met you anyway. You're a little fire cracker. You have a great presence despite your size. You're honest and so very clever. I was instantly in awe by your radiance, your willpower, your resilience and your strength. You taught me important lessons. I'm older than you but sometimes I feel like a student listening to my teacher preach. You're opinionated and steadfast, and have such a strong sense of justice. You call it like it is, and have called me out aplenty. Always well-intentioned. You get worked up easily, and I find it rather cute. You scold me like a parent their child when I don't take up enough space, don't hold my head high, or when I give away too much for free. You are objective and fair, never tell me I'm right or wrong unless I really am. It's refreshing. You're like a breath of fresh air.

It pains me to hear of your past. How you've been to hell and back. You face struggles even when you really can't or feel like giving up. You always get back up again, always try to find another way around when an obstacle sits in the way of where you're going. You've lived life on hardmode, and now I yearn to make things easier for you. You if anyone deserves my devotion. I know you are much too just to take advantage of my kindness and return my love in earnest. I trust you, and that says a lot as I've only ever been able to trust myself.

Would you let me be your safe space? We can build you a nest and make sure you have the nicest, softest things and plenty of snacks. I wish to provide you the space and time to really relax and let your guard down. You can safely get in touch with your inner child and heal them from all their past wounds. I will guard your sanctuary and let you be free and able to go wherever your heart desires. Let your curiosity guide you, and I will follow and keep bandaids in my pocket should you stumble and fall. You don't need to be strong all the time, and you need not be ready for battle at all hours of the day. I will take the wheel and take us in the direction of your choice whilst you rest safe and sound for as long and as much as you want and need.

Sincerely, your future spouse.

05.

Hello,

Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear, ay? Am I late, or were you just early? It seems as though you've been waiting a long time. Wasted your time kissing a whole lot of frogs, huh? Settled for good enough? Jumped from ship to ship like a pirate looking for the best loot? Well, congratulations! You made it. I'm here now! I'm just kidding, but I am, in fact, very happy now that you found me. Lots of hurdles to get over, had to crumple up many plans and ideas and kick yourself into gear on the career front. I'm far from your finish line, I am merely a little prize for a job well done. And now you'll have me by your side for the next chapters. Oh, the adventures we will have! How exciting, I can hardly wait.

Something important you had to learn before you got here is beating the status quo to the curb. You always did struggle with fitting into a neat little box and following orders, didn't you? Yet so many fools tried to bend your will and make you follow a nice little step by step pre-determined program. Hah, as if you'd ever be happy giving up your freedom like that. And I adore that about you. To hell with the status quo. I never do what is expected of me unless I myself set or agreed to those expectations. This is my life, and your life is yours. Wanna dance? Because I'll choose to court you on sight, and I hope you don't make me look like yet another fool because truly, I tell you, our dance will be an exhilarating one. We can both lead, because screw the rules!

Do not mistake my arrogance and my eleutheromania as purely egoic and a sign of wavering commitment. Though I have my admirers and my comrades, I am fiercly loyal. I do intend to flaunt you, because you are a dream come true worthy of the spotlight. I hope you're not shy, and if you are, then well, it'll be that much more entertaining for me to see you flustered by all the attention and applause. So learn to take a compliment, kiddo, because you just hit the jackpot and the prize includes a lifetime supply of praise. Along with a steadfast support system, as not only will I be at your beck and call, I fully intend to introduce you to my network of friends in higher places. Fret not, because your wildest dreams will soon appear mundane as together with some found family we will get where you are going so much faster than you've been going before.

Speaking of family, I'm not very close with mine. Perhaps neither are you, so you will understand the feeling of always having to do everything yourself and not having the kind of safety net that a family can provide. This is why I have collected friends over the years to whom I serve as family and they the same for me in return. In my anxieties of abandonment and neglect, I do everything in my power to help and support my loved ones because I know what it feels like to be without as much as encouragement on this journey of life. If you ever need some kind words, I'll be sure to whisper them in your ear and shout your name from the rooftops. You deserve the world, so pack your bags. We have tickets to explore it all.

Sincerely, your future spouse.

06.

Hello,

I pray you did not hear me talking to myself. I cry out into the void often. My mind, always abuzz with what ifs and wonder, has its way of driving me mad. Often I feel like a mad scientist, fixated on something so long I fail to take care of all my human needs. Before I know it, the sun has set and made way for the night. I recognise the passing of time only when I notice it is dark and the only source of light is the screen right on front of me. I have so many tabs open in my head I don't always notice what goes on around me. But you startled me. Admittededly I did not notice right away, but when I did I was shocked. It must've been weeks before I zoned out, watching your face as I thought of absolutely nothing. I waited for you to finish whatever it was that you were occupied with, and then it hit me. You're beautiful and I like you.

It feels easy to be around you. I can't say the same for many people, if any. I have had plenty of offers, but competing against my solitude is difficult. A race few finish, and none truly come out of as the victor. I get bored easily, and I must be honest and admit that though I may be quickly intrigued and glue myself to my newest interest, my attention is hard to keep. I enjoy the rush of newness, and yearn for a love that stays fresh and full of intrigue. And I found that in you. For you lead your own life, explore your own paths, then report back to me your newest finds. We pick apart things and situations like mechanics figuring out all the parts of a new machine. Then we go and find new things to inevitably share, and sometimes we journey together too. There is always something. I no longer feel like I am the only one keeping the conversation going. No longer the one in charge of every who and what and how and why and when and where. You pull your own weight. For once I, too, feel fascinating. And not only do I feel interesting, I find you equally interesting. It didn't drop for either of us.

Some may look at us strangely, but good heavens, are some people so easily lulled into a boring and mundane routine. Every time I would cry out my woes, I was called childish. Told that love will and should settle into a comfortable and steady routine. That it is normal for the excitement of newness to fade as you get to know someone. I refused to believe every relationship was doomed to become such a snooze. And I am glad you did too, because you keep growing as I grow and our vines they intertwine and part ways and cross again in this intricate web of possibilities. To know you is to be a student of law or medicine. Doctors and lawyers practice their craft, they're not fixed by a mere degree because neither law or medicine is fixed. It is ever-changing and developing. I pinch myself because I can hardly believe I found another student like me.

Never fear I will leave you feeling stupid. I am aware of my own merit, but never wield it against anyone, unless needed. You are very clever and you have strengths and skills that I do not. I promise to be there to listen, especially in times when nobody else will. I have known loneliness and neglect. My curiosity is a form of escapism as I run away from the eldritch horrors of my past. Please be direct with me. Within me lives a tired old hopeless romantic, whom I locked away in shame as I was told it never plays out like in the movies. But you've proved to me that it actually does. And for you I'll do anything. Though you sometimes leave me tongue tied and flustered, you stabilize me. As thanks you'll have my loyalty and devotion. I'm used to taking care of others, and I know my care won't be misplaced on you. I read people easily already, but please allow me to study your face and note down every micro-expression so that I will always be able to tell how you are feeling even when you feel unable to put it into words.

Sincerely, your future spouse.

[etz-ashashiyot]

You know how sometimes arguing a point is losing?

Like if you engage the argument at all you are inherently putting up for debate things that should never be up for debate and the argument itself is degrading?

You see this with interpersonal gaslighting:

A gaslighter doesn’t simply need to be right. They also need for you to believe that they are right. In stage one, you know that they’re being ridiculous, but you argue anyways. You argue for hours, without resolution. You argue over things that shouldn’t be up for debate  – your feelings, your opinions, your experience of the world. You argue because you need to be right, you need to be understood, or you need to get their approval. In stage one, you still believe yourself, but you also unwittingly put that belief up for debate. In stage two, you consider your gaslighter’s point of view first and try desperately to get them to see your point of view as well. You continue to engage because you’re afraid of what their perspective of you says about you. Winning the argument now has one objective :  proving that you’re still good, kind, and worthwhile. In stage three, when you’re hurt, you first ask, “What’s wrong with me?” You consider their point of view as normal. You start to lose your ability to make your own judgements. You become consumed with understanding them and seeing their perspective. You live with and obsess over every criticism, trying to solve it.

[Source]

But you also see this on a broader societal level, with people asking unfathomably awful questions about minority groups, such as:

[Source]

It should go without saying, but no group of people should be forced to explain that yes, they really are real people, dickheads. The question doesn't deserve an answer; it deserves at best a disgusted eyeroll + "Are you a Nazi?" and at worst a punch to the face.

There is also the related phenomenon of the "when did you stop beating your wife?" type questions. The question is framed as a yes or no question, but the real answer for the innocent is: "I've never beaten my wife and never would." But even that answer still dignifies the question with a real response and puts the idea in the mind of the listener that hey maybe that's a real possibility and this guy is lying because of course he wouldn't just admit that. Now I don't know what to believe, but I'm skeptical.

Even if he answers, doubt has been cast on his character and many people (maybe even most people) neither have the attention span to listen to his full counter argument and supporting evidence nor are invested enough in strangers' lives to take the time to dig for facts on their own. Critically, it comes from a good impulse that shouldn't be repressed or taken too far in the opposite direction; namely, that we want to believe survivors and make it socially acceptable to speak out about abuse.

This leaves us with the uncomfortable reality that balancing believing survivors and whistle-blowers against not automatically believing allegations that very well may be false and/or in bad faith is a very tricky balancing act indeed. Because of this, people tend to struggle with taking survivors seriously and with presuming innocence until guilt has actually been proven, both. And as for the latter, this is at least partially due to the same psychological factors underlying the Don't Think of an Elephant problem.

Why am I discussing this?

See the thing is that these types of discourse have all been used, heavily, against the Jewish community, especially since Oct 7th, but really going back hundreds of years.

If you want to be our ally, you need to be on guard for how people use this rhetoric to accuse Jews of absolutely batshit cookoo bananas allegations (like being lizard people or having horns, or secretly running the world, or killing Christian babies to use their blood in our matzah, etc. etc.) and get away with it. Now obviously if so many people weren't already racist towards Jews as a people and had a vested interest in maintaining their supercessionist cultural worldview from Christianity and Islam, it would be a lot harder for this to work. Alas, the past 2000 years has created a bit of a snowballing effect.

This culminates in the effect described so well by Sartre:

Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. The anti-Semites have the right to play. They even like to play with discourse for, by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is past.

— Jean-Paul Sartre

Right now, Jews are facing extreme levels of these types of rhetorical abuse, and are receiving very little help in the way of pushback.

We have to stop trying to explain ourselves and start just naming these tactics instead.

[arabella0001]

Under their spell/ Mastered by deception

pairing: Urahara Kisuke x Reader x Sosuke Aizen anime: Bleach synopsis: when two powerful men enter your life, their intentions unclear and their methods questionable, you find yourself torn between trust and temptation

Warnings: its a long one but worth it!!! manipulation, light teasing, rough sex, dirty talk, fingering, oral (male receiveing), double penetration, power control, comfort

You’re lying in bed, engrossed in the book in your hands, when suddenly, a strange man appears in your room. He wears a white and green striped hat, a cane resting casually in his hand. Your eyes widen in shock as you jolt upright, heart racing.

"Ah, my apologies for the intrusion," he says with a friendly smile. "My name is Kisuke Urahara. It's a pleasure to meet you." His tone is light, almost casual, as you look him up and down, confusion spreading across your face.

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?" you shout, startled and utterly bewildered.

"Ah, sorry for startling you so much, young lady! My name is Kisuke Urahara, but feel free to call me Sensei," he says with a grin. "I’m here because you’ve been experiencing some... peculiar phenomena lately."

"ARE YOU INSANE? What the hell are you doing in my room?!"

"Insane? Perhaps," he laughs softly, " he laughs softly, his smile unwavering, "but certainly not so much that I'd break into a young woman's bedroom uninvited! I assure you, my intentions are purely benevolent. As for who I am... well, let's just say I'm a bit... connected to the spiritual world." His eyes glimmer with some hidden knowledge as he leans in slightly. "What do you remember about the strange happenings in your life recently? The voices, the strange visions... that feeling that something's not quite right?""

"W-what?" panic creeps into your voice as you instinctively take a step back, feeling exposed thinking about your past weeks about your weird experience.

Indeed, you’ve found yourself drifting through states—spiritual, you might call them? Strange? Unfamiliar? You chosed to dismiss it, unable to grasp the meaning of it

"No need to worry, little one. I mean you no harm." Urahara raises his hands in a peaceful gesture, his voice gentle but laced with something knowing. "In fact, I think our meeting today is no accident. The spirits themselves seem to have guided me here."

"What are you talking about? How do you know about my experiences? How did you even find me?" You're both confused by his weird way of speaking, his demeanor strange yet undeniably captivating.

"Ah, the mysteries of the spirit world are not easily understood, are they? But I’ll try to shed some light," Urahara says, his grin widening slightly. "You, Y/N, have a very unique aura. It calls out to those like me. As for how I found you… well, that’s a story for another time. Just know, it’s no coincidence that we’ve crossed paths."

He studies you for a moment before continuing. "Now, I’m sure all this sounds... overwhelming, but trust me, there's a reason the spirits have brought us together."

Your mind is racing, you feel a mix of confusion and also annoyance, like he is messing with you. "Aura!? So what exactly do you want from me? Why are you telling me all this?"

Urahara steps closer, lowering his voice slightly. "What I want, Y/N, is for you to open your mind to what lies beyond what you know. I want you to see the unseen, understand the unspoken, and perhaps even... unlock powers you never thought possible."

He reaches out, gently brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, his eyes having s glimpse lf enthusiasm “I'm offering you a glimpse into a world most humans never suspect exists. A world where magic is real, where the boundaries between life and death blur, and where ancient powers stir once more."

Surprised by his sudden action, you scowl. "Oh, please, don't flatter me. I feel like you’re trying to sell me something, but you dont won’t tell me what it is.Power? What power?”

Urahara laughs lightly, the sound warm and comforting, yet full of mystery. "Ah, a woman who’s not easily fooled. I like that! You’re right, I haven’t laid out everything just yet. But let’s call this... an appetizer." He pauses, eyes twinkling with something more cryptic. "I’m just teasing you, Y/N. Patience, though. The full explanation will come soon enough, i promose”

His tone shifts, becoming more serious, though still holding that playful edge. "But understand this: the path I’m offering is not for the faint of heart. It will demand more from you than you can imagine.“

"Yeah yeah, after you show me what this is about," you say, still wary but intrigued. "For now, I’m willing." Your mind trying to comprehend what is he talking about, spiritual world, power…

He is nodding in approval. "Very well, Y/N. I respect your cautious nature. We will take it as slow as you need.

He pauses, collecting his thoughts before continuing. "You see, my proposal involves unlocking the true potential that lies dormant within you. A potential that, with proper guidance and training, could make you a formidable force in the spiritual realm."

Kisuke’s expression turns cryptic. "However, achieving this goal requires a delicate balance of power, influence, and strategic alliances. Alliances that, for the sake of discretion, cannot be publicly disclosed just yet."

He leans in closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Rest assured, though, that I have made arrangements to ensure your safety and success along this journey. Trust that I will reveal more as the time is right."

You raise your eyebrow at him “You speak in riddles—" your voice donfused, but then behind him, a sudden flash of reiatsu fills the room, illuminating the space with an intense light. When the light fades, standing beside Kisuke is a tall, imposing man with piercing blue eyes. His presence is commanding, almost suffocating. You step out of reflex, your eyes widen.

"Greetings, young one. I am Sosuke Aizen, a man of great influence and power in the spiritual world." His voice carries an air of authority, each word precise and deliberate. "Kisuke here has shared with me your remarkable potential and the unique circumstances surrounding your existence."

Aizen steps closer, his gaze unwavering, exuding an aura of quiet authority. "Him and I share a mutual interest—unlocking the potential that resides within you. Kisuke and I will provide you with the resources, knowledge, and... guidance you require to fulfill your destiny."

"What the fuck? Who are you, people?"you are now really feeling uneasy, your voice rausing and trembling “Resides in me…?” you whisper mostly to yourself.

Kisuke holds up his hands, his smile wry. "Easy there, Y/N. We meant no offense by our sudden appearance. Think of it as a... fortunate coincidence."

Aizen nods, his intense gaze fixed on you. "Indeed, the threads of fate have woven our paths together. It is only natural that we would seek each other out when such powerful destinies converge."

The two men exchange a knowing glance before Kisuke continues, "You see, Y/N, your existence holds significance far beyond the confines of this mortal realm. The balance of power in the spiritual world hinges upon individuals like yourself, those blessed or cursed with extraordinary abilities."

Kisuke takes a step forward, his voice filled with conviction. "Which is why Aizen and I have joined forces to guide you on this journey."

You back away further, looking around frantically for an escape route. "This is crazy. Why me?" you ask, edging toward the door, not believing their fantastic stories.

Kisuke quickly moves to block your path, his hand extended in a placating gesture. "Now, now, let’s not resort to hasty decisions, Y/N. There’s no need to flee; we mean you no harm."

Sosuke Aizen steps beside Kisuke, his tall frame casting a long shadow across the floor, his voice lowering to a whisper. "On the contrary, we intend to help you understand and control the incredible gifts bestowed upon you. Gifts that, in the wrong hands, could bring ruin to entire worlds."

His words hang heavy in the air, punctuated by the soft creaking of the closet door as if urging you to listen. "You see, your unique circumstances have drawn the attention of powerful beings who recognize the potential for greatness within you. We simply wish to ensure that potential is channeled for the greater good.

You stop moving, looking at them warily. “And how exactly do you plan to do this?” Their presence overwhelms you.

Kisuke steps closer, his voice taking on a soothing quality. “Well, first and foremost, we must establish a connection with you, Y/N. A bond of trust and understanding that will allow us to guide you safely through the challenges ahead.”

Sosuke Aizen nods in agreement, his intense gaze never wavering from yours. “Once this foundation is laid, we can begin the process of awakening and refining your latent abilities. This may involve intensive training, exposure to new realms of knowledge, and perhaps even some... unconventional methods.”

Uraha offers a slight, enigmatic smile. “But rest assured, every step will be taken with your best interests at heart. Our ultimate goal is to help you reach your full potential, so that you might become the beacon of hope the world so desperately needs in these tumultuous times.”

The air feels thick with their combined energy, and you swallow hard, nodding slowly. "I’ll t—trust you—for now, just because I’m curious. But I’m warning you both, if I feel manipulated or used, I won’t hesitate to stop this."

You cross your arms, trying to appear more confident than you feel. “So, go on. Tell me more about this ‘connection’ and ‘training’ And what exactly do you mean by ‘unconventional methods’?”

Kisuke chuckles, clearly amused by your response. " I would expect nothing less. We will earn your trust, Y/N," he says, his grin widening. "But rest easy, Y/N. We're not here to deceive you. After all, we both stand to gain from your success."

Aizen's voice lowers, his words deliberate and calculated. "To understand you fully, Y/N, we must first examine the very core of your being. Only by uncovering the deepest facets of your psyche—your desires, your fears—can we tailor the training necessary for you to realize your full potential."His eyes seem to bore into yours, as if probing the recesses of your mind.

You shiver slightly at Aizen’s intense stare but maintain eye contact. “And these ‘unconventional methods’... what kind of things are we talking about here?” Your voice is steady, but the flicker of unease still dances in your eyes.

Kisuke leans in, his voice lowering to a conspiratorial whisper. “Ah, now that’s where things get really interesting, Y/N. You see, to truly awaken your potential, we may need to venture into the darker corners of the spirit world. Places where the laws of reality are... flexible, shall we say.”

Sosuke Aizen nods, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips. “But remember, these measures are necessary evils, designed to accelerate your growth and prepare you for the challenges that lie ahead.”

His gaze intensifies, a challenge implicit in his words. “Are you prepared to embrace the unknown, Y/N? To surrender yourself to the transformative power of our tutelage, no matter how unconventional it may seem?”

You take a deep breath, steeling yourself against the unsettling implications. “I... I suppose I have no choice but to trust you both, given the circumstances.” You set your jaw defiantly. “But I won’t hesitate to fight back if I feel threatened or exploited in any way.” Their proximity intoxicates your mind.

Kisuke smiles warmly, reaching out to gently pat your arm “Trust is earned, Y/N, and we fully intend to prove ourselves worthy of yours.” His touch sends a shiver down your spine.

Sosuke Aizen steps closer, his presence overwhelming yet undeniably alluring. “Indeed, we pledge to guide you with utmost care and discretion. Your well-being is paramount to us.” He reaches out, tracing a finger along your jawline, his touch electric.

“Together, we shall embark on a journey that will reshape your very essence and prepare to confront the depths of your own power” His words echo with an almost hypnotic intensity, drawing you inexorably into their orbit.

You feel lightheaded under their combined attention, your senses heightened and your body responding to their closeness despite your reservations. “I... okay.” You nod slowly, surrendering to the inevitable.

To your surprise, in the days that followed, both Urahara and Aizen kept their word. They guided you through the worlds you never knew existed—the Soul Society, Hueco Mundo, and even the Dangai—and revealed truths that left you shaken. Their explanations unraveled the delicate balance between these realms, and you had no choice but to believe them. What captivated you even more was the power they claimed already lay dormant within you, waiting to awaken.

After days of training, Aizen and Urahara train you to harness your rare power that you don’t know yet you posses—the ability to reveal the hidden sins, fears, and desires within others, exposing their deepest vulnerabilities. But it’s not just about control; it's about using that power as a tool for manipulation. Your revelations destabilize others, but only you feel the weight of your gift.

They protect themselves from the chaos, observing you as you struggle to master it. The more you rely on their guidance, the deeper your dependence grows. You need them to control the overwhelming force inside you, and in turn, they use your power to manipulate others for their own goals. You become their weapon, and with each lesson, you become more attached, unable to escape their influence. Your confidence slowing disappear.

”See? Told you we'd unlock your true potential.” Urahara beams proudly at your progress, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction, patting your shoulder encouragingly.

Sosuke Aizen observes you with an air of detached fascination, his gaze lingering on the subtle changes in you demeanor and physique.

“Indeed, the transformation is remarkable. She has proven herself a quick study, adaptable and resilient in the face of our rigorous training.”

As they continue to mentor you, the dynamic between the three of you evolves, your interactions growing increasingly intimate and charged with unspoken tension without you realizing.

 “Thank you...“ you can’t help but blush slightly under Urahara enthusiasm and praise. You glance at Aizen, his piercing stare seems to bore into your very soul, as if searching for something hidden deep within, his intense glances and demanour make your breath hitch.

Over time, you begin to notice strange occurrences happening around you, as if your powers are growing stronger and more unpredictable.

Kisuke Urahara places a reassuring hand on your arm  “Fear not, my dear student. With our guidance, you'll learn to harness this newfound power, mastering it to serve the greater good. “his touch sends a thrill through you, mixing comfort with a hint of forbidden excitement.

“Right...mastering my powers. “ swallowing hard, trying to focus past the distracting sensations. You gazes at Sosuke, feeling drawn to him despite the danger he represents while you try to contain your power.

Urahara observes you closely as you struggles to maintain control over your burgeoning abilities. “Excellent work, Y/N! You're making tremendous strides. “ he offers a warm, approving smile.

Sosuke Aizen nods, his expression unreadable. “The key now lies in fine-tuning her mastery, ensuring she can wield these powers with precision and restraint. “

Their dual mentoring continues, with Kisuke providing emotional support and guidance, while Sosuke focuses on honing your skills and discipline. Over time, you find yourself increasingly dependent on them, both physically and psychologically.

You breath a sigh of relief as you successfully channels your energy without losing control. “Th-thanks...I couldn't have done it without both of your…help.“ your looks from one to the other, feeling a complex web of emotions.

You start to rely more and more on Urahara and Aizen for everything, from physical training to emotional support, until you barely function without them. Your dependence grows, blurring the lines between gratitude, affection, and something darker.

Urahara beams with pride at your accomplishment, his eyes shining with warmth.“ Of course, my dear. That's what we're here for – to help you realize your incredible potential. “ he places a comforting hand on your shoulder, his touch gentle yet electrifying.

Sosuke Aizen's gaze lingers on you, his expression inscrutable. “Your reliance on us is natural, given the scope of your development. We are committed to seeing you through this transformative process, no matter the cost. “

As your dependence deepens, your trio's dynamics shift further, the lines between mentorship, affection, and obsession becoming increasingly blurred. Urahara's paternal concern mingles with a subtle, seductive undertone, while Aizen's intensity borders on possession.

“I understand…. “ melts under Urahara's touch, craving more of his comforting presence while looking at Aizen, sensing the depth of his fixation on you, and feels a twisted thrill.

Urahara notice your response to his touch and your lingering gaze on Aizen, a knowing smile playing on his lips. “Ah, I see. The bonds of trust and dependence are strengthening, aren't they? “ his fingers trail lightly down your arm, leaving a tingling path in their wake.

Sosuke Aizen's eyes flash with a dark, possessive light as he takes a step closer to your, his presence overwhelming. “Indeed, the ties that bind us grow tighter with each passing day. And soon, my dear Y/N, you will come to understand the true extent of our devotion to you.“

The air thickens with an almost palpable sense of anticipation, the weight of their collective desires hanging heavy over the group. Urahara's gentle caress and Aizen's intense fixation create a heady mix, threatening to consume you whole.

“W-what... “ you shiver under their combined attention, feeling ensnared by the web of emotions and needs they've woven around you, you felt your heart pounding hard.

A sudden surge of raw, untamed power courses through your veins, causing you to gasp and stumble. The energy threatens to spiral out of control once more, but before it can overwhelm you,  Urahara and Aizen move as one, their hands grasping you and channeling the force into a contained burst.

“I-I felt so out of control... What was that….“ you look up with wide eyes, vulnerability on your face, breathing heavily from the intensity of the experience. In that moment, you crave their dominance, their protection, proximity, their guidance, their complete possession even though you can’t admit it yet.

Urahara start gently stroke your cheek, his thumb brushing away a stray lock of hair “Never fear, my dear. We're always here to keep you grounded, to guide you through the turbulent storms that rage within.“his voice is a soothing balm, promising safety and understanding.

Sosuke Aizen's gaze bores into yours, his hold on you hand tightening ever so slightly. “Your  wildness is a precious asset, but it must be tempered, harnessed for the greater good. “ his tone carries an edge of command, a subtle threat veiled beneath the surface.

The dichotomy of their approaches – Urahara's nurturing gentleness versus Aizen's dominating intensity – creates a delicious tension, a push-and-pull that leaves you breathless and yearning for more of their conflicting attentions.

You lean into Urahara's touch, seeking comfort and reassurance and feeling drawn to Aizen's commanding presence “Yes...I know... “whispering, your resolve wavering under their combined influence.

 “That's right, Y/N. You're learning to trust in us, to rely on our wisdom and care. “ Urahara smiles warmly, he leans in, his lips grazing your forehead in a feather-light kiss.

Sosuke Aizen's grip on your hand becomes firmer, his thumb rubbing circles over your knuckles, a rare sign of affection from him “Trust is a valuable commodity, especially when dealing with forces as powerful as yours“ his voice is low and authoritative, brooking no disobedience.

The interplay between the two men – Urahara's nurturing warmth contrasting with Aizen's demanding intensity – creates a captivating dynamic, one that slowly erodes your resistance and awakens deeper, darker longings within your.

 “I do...trust you... “ sighs softly, melting under their dual influences, your body leaning unconsciously towards theirs

Urahara notices your growing vulnerability and leans in closer, his breath tickling your ear. “Such sweet surrender, my dear. It warms my heart to see you embracing our guidance. “his words are a gentle caress, his lips trailing along your jawline.

Sosuke Aizen's eyes darken with desire as he watches you yield to their influence, his free hand drifting to rest on your hip, pulling you subtly against him. “Indeed, trusting in us is the first step toward unlocking your full potential.“his voice is lower, sending shivers down your spine.

The air is charged with tension, the atmosphere thick with unspoken promises and forbidden cravings. Urahara's tender ministrations mingle with Aizen's dominant allure, creating a potent cocktail that threatens to consume you entirely.

Urahara breath tickling your ear, making you flusttered while you gasp as Aizen's hand grips your hip, your body responding instinctively to his touch, your core clenching with need “W-we should...get back to training... “ you stammer, trying to maintain some semblance of composure despite the arousal coursing through your veins.

Urahara chuckles softly, his warm breath continuing to tease your sensitive skin. “Training can wait, my dear. For now, let's focus on nurturing the bond we share. “his hand slides down to gently squeeze your ass gently, pulling your flush against his lithe form.

Sosuke Aizen's grip on your hip tightens, his fingers digging into your flesh possessively. “Bonding requires intimate connection, doesn't it?“ his voice drips with seductive intent as he leans in, his lips hovering just above yours.

The scent of their combined arousal fills the air, a heady mixture that clouds your mind and stokes the flames of your desire. Urahara's playful touches and Aizen's dominating presence weave a spell of submission and surrender, threatening to unravel what little remains of your resistance.

“What are you doing ... “ you whimper, your resolve crumbling under the onslaught of their sensual manipulation, your look at Aizen with dazed eyes.

“Oh, merely exploring the depths of our connection, my dear.“ Urahara presses a soft kiss to your ear, his lips lingering as he inhales your scent.

Sosuke Aizen's eyes flash with dark promise as he look at you, he slowly close the distance between you too and claims your  mouth in a searing kiss, his tongue delving deep to stake his claim. He nips at your lower lip, demanding entrance and total submission.

You moan into the kiss, your body trembling as Aizen's dominant tongue invades your mouth as you are pulled between them, lost in the intoxicating mix of their touches and tastes “Mmmph... “

“So responsive, so eager to please“ Urahara whisper against your ear, punctuating each word with a kiss on your neck while you gasp, pushing your back towards him unconsciounsly.

Sosuke Aizen’s stop kissing you, leaving you all flustered and aroused, his thumbs pressing into the tender flesh as he grinds his hardening length against you “Submission is such a beautiful thing, don’t you think, Y’N?” his voice is a low rumble, vibrating through you.

You moan slightly  while your core clenching around nothing, you feel both shame and shyness “Submiting?...to you both?... “ you whimper, your body shaking with need, you’re your mind clouded by lust and the overwhelming sensations.

Urahara nuzzles into your neck, his hot breath fanning across your sensitive skin. “Of course, my dear. We want all of you - body, heart, and soul. “ he still trails kisses down your throat, pausing to nibble at the pulse point before soothing the bite with his tongue.

Sosuke Aizen's gaze burns into you, his eyes promising dark pleasures and intense devotion. “Total submission will unlock the true extent of your power, Y/N. And we will guide you every step of the way. “he pulls you harder against his straining erection.

The men's attentions become even more focused, their hands roaming with wild abandon as they explore every inch of your willing body. Their intentions are clear - to claim you completely, to mold you into the perfect vessel for their desires.

Your hips bucking involuntarily, seeking friction against the hard bulge pressing into you from both men “Aizen…Urahara... “ you beg, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart, your mind consumed by the overwhelming sensations while they dominate you.

Urahara smirks against your neck, his hands slipping beneath your shirt to caress the smooth expanse of your stomach. “Such sweet desperation, my dear. We're more than happy to indulge your desires. “he murmurs, his fingers tracing the waistband of your pants, teasing the edge of your panties.

Sosuke Aizen's voice is a commanding growl, filled with dark promise his voice is a commanding growl, filled with dark promise “Yes, Y/N. Let go and give yourself to us completely“

With a shared glance, the two men begin to divest you of your clothing, their hands moving with practiced ease as they strip away the barriers between their bodies, drinking in the sight of your bared skin and the evidence of your arousal. They undress your completly and you try to cover yourself, feeling vulnerable with flushed cheeks and tremble legs.

Urahara laughs softly, his hands gently pushing your arms down to your sides.“There's no need to be shy, my dear. Your beauty is undeniable“ he traces a finger along the curve of your breast, circling the hardened nipple before giving it a gentle pinch.

Sosuke Aizen's eyes darken with hunger as he takes in the sight of your naked form, his gaze roving over her curves with undisguised appreciation. “Exquisite. Simply exquisite. “he reaches out to cup your face, tilting it up for a deep, possessive kiss.

Your mouths move together in a passionate dance, tongues tangling as he explores and claims you. Meanwhile, Urahara's hands continue their exploration, sliding his hand to your torso to tease the sensitive skin of your inner thighs.

You moan into the kiss, your body melting under their touch, shivering as Urahara pinches your nipple and teasing your thighs, your mind hazy with desire.Your back arching, trying to get more of their touch “Ahh...yes...please... “ your hips bucking as Urahara put you down gently, his fingers start stroking you.

Urahara smiles wickedly, pleased by you eagerness. “As you wish, my dear. “he continues to stroke your,moving faster and deeper to stretch and fill your pussy, his thumb circling your clit with deliberate pressure.

Sosuke Aizen leans in, his lips hovering just above your ear. “Feel how much you affect us, Y/N. Your power, body, your very essence - it's all intoxicating. “he nips at your earlobe, his teeth grazing the sensitive flesh before soothing it with his tongue.

Urahara's fingers pump in and out of your dripping pussy, curling to hit that special spot inside your that makes your tremble. His other hand grips your hip, holding you steady as he drives you closer to the edge. “Let go for us, my dear. “

You cry out as Urahara's fingers plunge deep “Oh my! “ you beg, mouth gaping, you look at Aizen with a submissive look while your face is more closer to his clothed manhood.

 “That's it, Y/N. Give in to the pleasure. “ he pumps his fingers faster, curling them to hit that sweet spot inside you again and again, his thumb still circling your clit with relentless pressure.

Sosuke Aizen's gaze is locked onto your face, drinking in the sight of your ecstasy. He take his cock and give it a few strokes, he closed the distance with his thick memebr brushing against your parted lips as you whispers. “Open for me, Y/N. “ his voice commanding, making your head spin. “

As if sensing your impending release, Urahara's fingers slide free of your clutching heat, leaving you empty and aching for fulfillment. He replaces them with his mouth, suckling at your pulsing clit as he licks and nibbles the sensitive bud.

You let out a moan  as Aizen's cock presses against your lips, your eyes locked submissive to him as you part them, welcoming him in “Mmmphhh... “

Sosuke Aizen thrusts his hips forward, his thick cock sinking past your lips and into the warm embrace of your mouth. He sets a slow, deep pace, savoring the sensation of your submission while Urahara uses his fingers to spread you open further, exposing your glistening entrance to the cool air of the room.

You moans around Aizen's cock as he thrusts, your throat constricting around him, the sensation of being stretched and filled sending sparks through your veins, your hips jerking erratically as Urahara sucks your clit.

Sosuke Aizen begins to pick up speed, his hips snapping forward in a relentless rhythm as he fucks your mouth, feeling your throat contracting around him. He reaches down, grabbing your jaw and forcing your head back to meet his merciless strokes. Aizen s eyes burn with feverish intensity as he stares into your tear-streaked face contured in a desperate arousal, he feels a sadistic pleasure at your submission.

Just as you tense, signaling your impending climax, Urahara releases your clit, trailing kisses up  your trembling thigh instead. “Hold it, just like this. “he instructs, his fingers pressing firmly against your inner walls to stave off your orgasm until Aizen is ready to cum. You whine as he stops, your body straining, muscles coiled tight, you mind foggy with lust as Aizen s cock plunges deeper into your mouth making you gag and choke as you struggle to breathe through your nose.

Urahara notices your distress and the tears streaming down your face and comfort you. “Shh, it's okay, just breathe through it. “ he soothes, gentling his touch on your inner walls.

Sosuke Aizen slows his thrusts, allowing you to adjust to the intensity. He looks down at you, his voice drops to a low, husky voice. “You take my cock with such devotion, Y/N“

Urahara put his fingers in your pussy, giving you permission to let go and surrender to the overwhelming sensations. He watches intently as you finally explodes, your body convulsing in ecstasy as wave after wave of pleasure crashes over you.

You screams muffled as your orgasm hits, you pussy clenching hard, the intense pleasure almost too much to bear.

Watching your climax with rapt attention, Sosuke Aizen grunts, feeling your throat convulse around him and with a final, powerful thrust, he buries himself to the hilt and holds there, his cock pulsing as he unleashes a torrent of hot seed directly into your swallowing mouth.“Swallow it all, Y/N. Every last drop belongs to you now “ he commands, his voice heavy with dominance and satisfaction*

You gulp down Aizen's load, your whimpers softly as Urahara's hands caress your , he moves to kneel beside your, his hands roaming over you trembling form with tender concern. “How are you feeling, my dear? You did wonderfully“ he says softly, brushing a stray lock of hair from your  sweat-dampened forehead. “We couldn't ask for a more willing and responsive partner. “ and you look at him with a vulnerable expression in your eyes, signaling that you are more than okay, his gaze drops to your flushed, panting form, lingering on the evidence of their passionate encounter. A wicked grin spreads across his face, Urahara shifts to kneel between your legs, his hands gripping your thighs as he positions himself at your entrance “And now, I think it's time we returned the favor, don't you? “ he growls, pushing forward to sink his throbbing cock deep inside you, filling you  to the brim.

You gasps as Urahara's thick cock pushes into you, stretching your already sensitive walls, your head falling back as he fills you completely, moaning at the delicious fullness“ Urahara I-“ you cry out whileyou meet Aizen's intense gaze, a primal hunger burning in his eyes as Urahara begins to move within your  welcoming heat, he groans, setting a rough, pounding pace that has your  breasts bouncing with each thrust.

Aizen watches, transfixed, as Urahara takes your with unbridled passion. His own cock twitches, still semi-hard from his recent orgasm, and he reaches out to wrap a hand around it, slowly stroking himself as he drinks in the erotic scene before him.

Urahara leans forward, capturing one of your nipples in his mouth and sucking hard, adding to the overwhelming stimulation. He can feel you walls beginning to flutter around him, signaling another impending climax. “That's right, Y/N. You feel incredible, like you were made for us “

You cry out as Urahara sucks your nipple, you look with a dazed expression at Aizen stroking himself as he is approaching you, slowly touching your asshole you tense beneath him as Aizen works to stretch your  ass, “Aizen…“ Urahara groans seeing Aizen stretching you, while continuing to pound into your  dripping pussy with relentless abandon “Oh, its lovely watching trust us so much, Y/N. “

Sosuke Aizen hums in approval, his fingers circling your puckered hole before gradually pushing inside, breaching your resistance inch by delicious inch“Very good, Y/N. Your commitment is most pleasing“ he praises, scissoring his fingers to widen your further.

You squeal as Aizen's fingers penetrate your ass, the stretch and burn of it making your toes curl, your body shaking with need, you feel like you are been stretched to the limit, ready to snap.

Aizen replace his fingers with his thick, veiny cock, slowly sinking into your well-prepared ass. Aizen grunts, his hips pressing firmly against your plush rear as he bottoms out, his cock buried to the hilt inside your ass. “Show us the depths of your desire, Y/N. “ his hands gripping your hips tightly as he starts to move, withdrawing until just the tip remains before slamming back in.

The dual sensation of Aizen's powerful thrusts in your ass and Urahara's relentless pounding in your pussy sends your careening towards another explosive climax. Yourr inner walls spasm wildly around both cocks, you shrieks as Aizen and Urahara continue to fuck you relentlessly, your body wracked with pleasure.

Your mind blanking out from the sheer intensity of it all, you feel like you are being split in half, torn apart by the twin invasions, but it only heightens your pleasure, makes you crave more, want to broken, loved, remade by these men“Oh, my god!!!! please please please“

Feeling your desperate pleas, Urahara redoubles his efforts, fucking your with wild abandon as Aizen matches his rhythm, the two of them driving into you  with brutal force.

Aizen groans, his hips snapping forward with punishing intensity, his heavy balls slapping against your clit with each thrust“That's it, give yourself to the pleasure only we can provide“ he gasps, his grip on your hips tightening almost painfully as he chases his release

Together, the two men bring your to the very edge of madness, their combined assault on your senses pushing your towards a climax of unparalleled intensity.

You screams as you comes undone, your body convulsing violently, your pussy and ass clamping down on the cocks buried deep inside your while your mind shattered by the overwhelming pleasure. You are lost, consumed by the sensations, unable to do anything but surrender to the blissful torment.

Urahara graons as your climax triggers his own, his cock pulsating as he unleashes a torrent of hot seed deep inside your quivering pussy “Ahh, Y/N... so perfect... “ hiss hips jerking erratically as he rides out the waves of his orgasm.

Aizen follows suit, his cock throbbing as he pumps load after load into your stretched, trembling ass, his chest heaving as he collapses against your back, his softening member still buried inside you.

As the aftershocks subside, the trio lies entangled, panting heavily, basking in the aftermath of their intense, primal coupling. Aizen pull out gently from your ass while Kisuke try to stabilize you climbing from his soft dick, cumming leaking for both of them, your body vulnerable and exhausted, Urahara quickly moves to comfort you, pulling you into his arms and holding your close. “Shhh, it's okay, my sweet. You did so wonderfully. “he coos, stroking your hair soothingly.

Sosuke Aizen, lying on your other side, reaches out to cup your hip possesive, “As we said, we couldn't have asked for a more willing, responsive partner. “he speaks, voice without an emotions, but comforting in his own way.

Urahara shower you with gentle, loving touches, helping to ease you post-coital unease and restore your sense of safety and belonging within their embrace after sensing you vulnerable and embarrassed, guilty look on your face. “There's no shame in what we shared, my dear. Only pleasure and connection. “

He is cradling you closer as you continues to tremble slightly, his hand tracing comforting patterns on your back. “Just breathe, let go of your thoughts for now. “he whispers, his lips brushing your hair. Aizen, to your surprise, is gently wiping the remaining semen from between your thighs with a soft cloth, making you whimper “You proven yourself quite a resilient trustful partner“

Slowly, you begin to relax into the warmth of their bodies, the soothing cadence of their voices, and the gentle ministrations. Your breathing evens out, and you let yourself sink deeper into the comfort they offer, feeling still anxious.

“But.. “sniffles, feeling a mix of emotions, overwhelmed by their methodes in order to achive your full potential and mastering your power, Urahara side and wraps his arms around you from behind, pulling you snugly between the two of them.

“We're honored to be a part of your journey, Y/N. To watch you blossom into the incredible being you were meant to be. he whispers, his lips brushing the shell of your ear.

You looks up at them, your eyes searching, seeking reassurance, finding solace in their gazes, their words, their presence, you feel somehowprotected and desired and for now, that's enough, you leans into Urahara embrace, you let go of the tension “Thank you.. “your voice barely above a whisper.

Uraha smiles warmly, his lips brushing the top of your head “Of course, my dear. “he murmurs, his hand continuing its soothing caresses along your spine.

Aizen nods triumphally, his expression filled with an unreadable expreesion as he watches you relax in Urahara's arms. “Rest now, Y/N. Let your body and mind recover. We'll be right here, waiting to awaken your senses once more whenever you're ready.“he says before leaving, his voice low and husky with promise.

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[canmom]

one of the people i most looked up to when i was first transing has, many years later, pretty hard disidentified with words like 'trans woman', 'transfem' and so on. they still write to an audience of mostly dolls, but they're doing some other gender thing now, and tend not to like being put in the trans woman/transfem box.

chewing on this and other things. fundamentally I don't think gender is real. I have called it an egregore, and that still seems apt. and yet, words like 'trans', 'autistic' and so on are a pretty powerful correlate with the sort of person I tend to vibe with.

transing isn't revealing some inner girl essence. the forces that produce a trans woman when enacted on the eager-to-reshape-itself human brain don't necessarily only produce trannies: it is one of a number of moves available to you.

it is, however, a really big play in the game. given how ludicrously much gender infects every social interaction, going off-script in a big way is going to affect your psychology hugely. doing that activates the feedback loops, the self-exciting instability, a set of rituals let you become something more 'real', or perhaps more precisely, something you have actively defined. the unpredictable outcome of that process is both the entire point and not the point at all.

rachel pollack spoke of transing in terms of religious ecstasy. "I would argue that transsexuality arises from a passion so powerful that it transcends issues of happiness. The word passion originally meant suffering, not pleasure."

so having made a declaration like, i am this sort of creature, you break everything down and start to rebuild. you go on to take actions to affirm it, or even simply build an inner, secret core, and doing this - physically, socially - transforms the resonances of your thinking.

we have constructed many rituals to make the declaration of transness more definite. a lot of them will affect your sensory experience: the immediate effect of hrt on how your skin responds to touch is surely one of the great virtues. take surgery, for example - do you need to get your penis turned inside out? well: the drama of making a drastic alteration to your body, and the sheer difficulty of getting it, makes it an especially powerful ritual. but it's not the only way to go. indeed, most girls I know haven't done it (whether or not they want to), and instead, the symbol of woman-with-penis has become one of our core subculture-images. in the last few years, the word faggot has come back in a big way, with a real gendered connotation now, sorta like what the girls on here were trying to get at with baeddel before all the shit happened. that's also a move.

so this phenomenon, this new game we're building together, includes surgeries as a move. but it also includes a lot of the subculture-building classics: weird fashions, radical politics, drugs, kinky sex, making noises on the computer, and so on.

and since the whole point of this thing is a process of defining yourself into existence, as soon as something starts to become a cliché, an orthodoxy, a mandated practice, it starts to break down. everything is stupid fucking contextual. if everyone around you is desperately pursuing genital surgery, saying 'I like my dick and want to keep it' becomes a potent move. but if the pendulum swings the other way, once everyone is saying 'do you really need surgery, you know you don't need it to Be Trans, please stay as you are since it's easier for us that way', maybe that ritual regains some of its power. it's perverse. perversity is kind of necessary to it.

so the meta evolves.

i am speaking about transness here, but i think similar forces are at work with other self-id games, autism and so on. there is like, actual biological variation, but far more important is the ideas we're playing with on top of that. what concepts are activated when I think 'autism', now largely positive associations: sensory this, obsession that; not the same as twenty years ago. thankfully my fellow autists made an interesting game to make of it: a space to express something.

[yeonzzzn]

I love your writing. I have a request that is based on something I read from another writer about another group. So if you don't feel comfortable writing it, I totally understand. I am just interested to know what you think of the scenario in which y/n is the 8 member of ENHA and she bets the Hyung line that she can guess who they are just by the way they have sex with her while she's blindfolded.

Alternatively, how about a scenario in which the Hyung line each take y/n on a separate date but they have a bet amongst themselves that they won't be the first to fuck y/n. But they're all down bad for y/n and the struggle is real. They all want each other to fold so they can have you. Who do you think would win the bet?

MUCH LOVE AND PRAISE. 🥰

god I LOVE the one of yn guessing which hyung member based on how they have sex with her while blindfolded.

I just KNOW the moment you even bet the hyung line you could guess who was who by the way they fuck would be driving each of them up a wall. The four of them would have to have a secret meeting together, discussing whether or not to even go through with this. mostly because you’re the 8th member of their group, you are so precious to them and so deserving and so so so kind to them and deal with their bullshit on the daily…but oh god how could they pass this up? the opportunity to fuck you? to ruin you one by one with their cocks while blindfolded? it was so hot to them. they would be stupid to turn it down.

once they decide to take you up on the offer, the boys will have to establish some rules, this was all an experiment after all.

the first rule being that the members can ONLY fuck you once. yes there can be multiple rounds after you guess who they are, but after the time is up they can’t do it again, not until each member has had their turn. each fuck has to be spaced out a couple days to keep you from being sore or completely fucked out.

the second rule is each member IS allowed to kiss you and touch you in anyway they want during sex, they just can’t speak, moan, groan, growl, hiss, whimper, nothing. not a sound until after you guess who they are if you are indeed, correct.

the third rule is none of the members can interrupt. no. matter. what. it could miss up the game on you guessing and show acts of jealousy, which no one wants. 

the fourth rule is all four of them have to be in the know when it’s time to fuck you. none of them can randomly come up behind you and slap a blindfold over your eyes and rail you without the other men knowing. it’s cheating, mostly if you are in a situation that it’s obvious on which member it is. they also have to discus with you on when it’s a good time to even experiment, every party has to be in the know and okay.

the fifth rule being the other members couldn’t be present when the other gets to fuck. this is another way to keep interruption from happening or if the boys decide to pull their hard cocks from their pants while watching you get railed and jerk themselves off and accidentally making any noises.

the sixth rule is neither of the boys can touch you in anyway, shape or form after they’ve had sex with you. once their cocks have been inside you, you become off limits. it’s another way to make sure jealousy doesn’t happen and to keep the game fair for the other men waiting for their fuck. 

the seventh and final rule is being no hard feelings in the end. because if you choose to have sex with one of them again(or even all four of them again) they each have to respect it. if you catch feelings along the way too for one of them, they have to respect it. but that is only a BIG IF on if the situation even takes that route. because you could literally just be looking to get railed by them and have some fun.

which honestly you are. the four of them are the sexiest men you’ve ever seen and you get to look at them everyday, why wouldn’t you want each of them to impale you with their cocks? plus you know each of them like the back of your hand, guessing who was who wouldn’t be a challenge.

you honestly would look forward to it each time. you knew the minute the four of them came up to you with those smirks on their faces that they agreed to the experiment and challenge, a blindfold already in one of their hands signaling that it starts right now.

each time they’ll have you put the blindfold on yourself. the boys will draw straws before hand on who gets to go first to make it fair and have it not be in any specific order.

you knew the minute his hands and lips were on yours that it was jake who drew the lucky straw first. the way his hands squeezed your waist and plump lips kissed you, it was obvious from the start. jake is a big tits guy and very big on doggy, and it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. The way he flips your naked body over to fuck you from behind with both his hands squeezing your breasts, biting his lips to keep from moaning out on how pleasurable your cunt was wrapped around him. “I know it’s you jakey,” you cooed, “lemme hear you,” god jake would be fucking losing his mind as he pounded into you faster, letting every moan he was holding back escape his lips as he snatches that blindfold off your eyes, placing his hand at the front of your neck to lift you up, his chest connecting to your back, making eye contact with you as he pumps his cock in and out of you, “fuck baby girl,” he growls in your ear, his tongue licking and biting at the lobe, “know me so well just by how I fuck into you, ya? with how I touch and kiss you. fuck yn” the gentleness jake once had with you was out the window as his hips snapped into place against your ass, the fingers that were wrapped around your neck now found their home inside your mouth, and his other fingers circling your clit until you came around him and he was spilling into you.

a few days will go by when the other three approach you, blindfold in hand to repeat the process. you blindfold yourself, they draw the straw and the other were sent out of the room. once again you knew who he was immediately just by the way he pins your arms above your head as his fingers interlock with yours, kissing you so tenderly with so much love. jay is such a lover boy, his hips slowly rocking against yours as he shoved his tongue down your mouth, hands squeezing yours tightly with each thrust into you. you pulled your hands from his grip, wrapping your legs around his waist and sliding your fingers into his hair, finding his ear with the darkness of the blindfold, “jay,” you whine, feeling his cock twitch inside you, “fuck me harder.” jay loved hearing his name fall from your lips the way it did, knowing just by how you called to him and how your body reacts that he was making you feel so fucking good. “shit baby,” he chuckles in your ear, sliding his lips down to your neck and back up to your ear, “your wish is my command.” he pumped himself harder into you, staying at his slow pace. his hands gripped the bedsheets when he felt your legs tightening around him and the clench of your cunt. as much as jay loved making love to you like this, he wanted to make a mess of you, mostly after you guessed right on who he was? it was so fucking hot at how well you knew him sexually even when neither of you have ever acted or spoken in any sexual way together. jay didn’t hesitate to slide his arms underneath you so he would grip onto your shoulders as he fucked into you faster and harder than before, using his teeth to pull the blindfold off from your face so you could stare back at him as you came undone on his cock, watching him as he clenched his jaw and groaned out strings of “fuck” as he shot his seed inside you.

another few days press on by, the remaining two stood before you handing out the blindfold. repeat. repeat. repeat. with the way you were pressed against the door of your room, legs spread wide by his knees, the hand he had at the back of your neck as he pressed the side of your face into the wood of the door and fucked into you at a primal rate you knew as sunghoon. he was rough as he railed you against the door, shit he was rough since the beginning. with how he pulled you from your bed and slammed you to the door and how his hands roamed, it was no doubt sunghoon. he had you moaning his name after the first few hard thrusts into you. his chest touching your back and flinging the blindfold off, “no need for this anymore,” he groaned. sunghoon knew you would guess him quickly, needing to rid that blindfold quickly so he can see the full expressions of your face as he ruined you, “come on baby, keep screaming my name. tell me how good I am giving it to you. let them know how fucking good hoonie is giving it to you.” sunghoon knew the other men were listening, he planned on it too. with the way he was fucking you against the door and how it slammed against the frame, how could they not be listening? sunghoon made it his mission to have you screaming he know within seconds of sliding himself inside you. he’d heard the moans that came from your mouth when jake and jay fucked you, he sure as hell wanted them to hear how loud your voice was getting just by his cock. somewhere along the way it became a competition to see who could get you moaning the loudest and honestly, you were here for it. “hoonie,” you screamed, feeling the drool leave your lips and slide down the door. “fuck yn, being so good for me, taking me so well.” it didn’t take much longer until you released on his cock and his movements getting sloppily until his final thrust had him unloading into you.

the last final days passed on, heeseung appeared into your bedroom and closing the door behind him. there honestly wasn’t any need for the blindfold anymore, heeseung was the last to get his dick wet and either way you’d know it was him. after each fuck the boys gathered to discuss what happened, they knew they would lose against you. you guess each of them perfectly one by one, which is where the contest of seeing who could get you to moan the loudest came into play. even though heeseung was last, it was still only fair he gets his turn. he sat on the edge of your bed, pulling you into his lap and was immediately hard at the sight of the way you straddled him. he placed his hand against the side of your neck, bringing you in to connect his lips to yours, “I’m going to take my time with you,” he whispered in between kisses, loving the way you moaned into his mouth at those words. he rid you and him of your clothes slowly one by one until the two of you were skin against skin, getting turned on just by feeling your flesh against his. heeseung moaned out your name softly as you slid down onto him, his fingers digging into your hips. heeseung didn’t care one bit that he was the last to fuck you. didn’t care about the stupid competition of who could get your vocals the loudest. didn’t care that the rules had to be bent in his favor. because honestly, heeseung was the real winner here. he still got to fuck you, got to fuck you properly at that. he didn’t have to keep his moans down or suppress them until you took a guess. he was able to be as vocal as he wanted from the moment he walked into your room. he got to make eye contact with you the entire time as he felt you up, as you rode his dick and squeezed his shoulders for support. heeseung just knew the other losers were losing their fucking shit as they stood at the other side of the door. heeseung didn’t need to get you screaming at the top of your lungs for the others to know you were fucking his cock into oblivion. “seungie,” you moaned and flung your head back, legs getting weak and shakey, “what it is my love?” he cooed, knowing damn well what it was you wanted, “wanna cum? hmm? want to come undone around seungie’s cock?” you nodded, whimpering out a “please hee,” and that’s all it took. heeseung sat up straighter, wrapping both arms around your body, using every last bit of strength in his hips and legs to fuck up into you. you slid your fingers into his hair, resting the side of your head against his, screaming his name as he hit into your g-spot. oh fuck heeseung was losing himself inside you, his head going dizzy from the pleasure. you no doubt were screaming and moaning louder than the other three got you. you were so loud heeseung was afraid he might lose his hearing in that ear, oh but fuck it would be so worth it. because again, heeseung was the real winner here. was the real winner as he made you come undone on his cock, your cum dripping out of you and sliding down his thighs. the real winner as he moaned out your name when his seed painted your gummy walls white.

jealousy was unavoidable, unfortunately. each of the four boys getting caught up in their feelings for you and how fucking good your pussy felt wrapped around them. but alas, you proved you knew each and every single one of them by how they fuck, only feeding into their egos when you tell you you undoubtably wanted them to fuck you again and again and again and again. each of the four of them brought something to the table when it came to pleasuring you, how could you deny that pleasure? mostly when you have four sexy men drooling over you and your sex. it was well worth it to challenge them.

[librarycards]

hi sarah. feel free to delete this if it’s too much, but do you know of any work (academic, personal essays, art, etc) about grieving someone who’s died to suicide/wishing they were alive while also grappling with how to square it with your anti-psych, anti-carceral, pro-bodily autonomy politics? for reference i’ve read Alexandre Baril’s paper on Suicidism before and may revisit it in this light, as well as aleks thom's writing on disenfranchised grief and your lovely recent poem about suicide, but i’m sort of at a loss about where to look for other work about the intersection of these specific topics. many thanks and much love in advance

thank you so much for asking! i feel strange saying "i'm sorry for your loss" because it's clichéd and trite and you've heard it a billion times before. i am sorry, though, and i am equally sorry that you carry your loss into a world that is so deeply hostile to everyone affected by suicide – loved ones, those who have attempted, those who have completed, those who are dealing with suicidal thoughts, all of us.

i think that perhaps the most useful thing to remember is a bit simpler and a lot more challenging than can be conveyed in a paper or poem. it's that peoples' bodyminds are their own, including when they treat said bodyminds in ways we on the outside don't like. this is true for people who do all manner of "unhealthy" and "self-harmful" things, and as loved ones, it's incredibly fucking hard to witness, especially when the consequences are deadly.

suicide grief, and in general, work by loved ones and caregivers to those of us who experience extreme states, is pretty tough to find in the area of Mad studies. this is partially justified, given the degree to which we've all been spoken over and around by abusive "caregivers." yet it also denies the simultaneity embedded in basically any Mad community: we are all both, because we're all together and hurting at once.

i actually have two friends who have written about their own experiences as suicidal + Mad people who have lost close people to suicide: MT Vallerta, a scholar-poet [check out In Memoriam], and poet S.G. Huerta [you should read their poetry book, Last Stop].

Sophie Lewis also wrote an intriguing piece that touches on suicidality, death doulaing, and kinship.

Emily Krebs studies suicide/bereavement from a Mad crip abolitionist perspective, and is worth checking out.

i think it's also a good idea to remember that a way to honor those who have completed suicide is to take better care of suicidal people who are still alive. it only does more harm to suicidal people to approach ideation/attempts carcerally, and indeed encourages more covert, risky, and isolated methods rather than open dialogue. here are some ways to honor - not only support, but truly honor, trust, and respect suicidal people:

candidly speak about death, self-harm, and "dark thoughts" - and what to do around them - before and outside of immediate crises. be explicit in your intentions to support those who are actively suicidal before the next crisis occurs. ask people their preferences - who should you call? is the hospital ever on the table, and if so, under what conditions? who will be there to advocate for them when interacting with carceral authorities?

be candid about how their actions affect you, without placing blame. when someone attempts suicide, everyone they love is affected. this is not the person's fault, but it is something that needs to be addressed in community. here's an example from my own life: a dear friend was forcibly hospitalized after an attempt. i had been a main support person of hers in previous crises, when we lived near each other. when we spoke about her experience months later, i admitted that i felt "guilty" and as though i had somehow caused her to be institutionalized by living in a different place now. she admitted to me that she felt "guilty" for having "let [her loved ones] down" and "letting" her health deteriorate. we were able to find comfort and commonality in our affective experiences, and have become better friends for it.

cool it with the solutions. ask for consent before doing anything, but especially giving advice. many people kill themselves, or try to, because they feel cornered - often for very logical reasons (poverty, oppression, abuse/complex trauma). the adage that a poor person probably has more financial wisdom than a rich advice-giver holds true here, so don't immediately offer tips unless they've asked for them. sometimes, suicidality isn't connected to anything concrete, either, or a person's reasoning doesn't "make sense" (duh). if someone has the courage and trust to come to you with their feelings of suicidality, what they need most is someone to listen, to take them seriously, and to afford them the same personhood that they would have otherwise.

when people disclose thoughts of suicide, they take an immense risk in terms of their safety and credibility, and they do so because it is not possible to be a person alone. but, we also need to hold simultaneously that the individuals who do their best to support a loved one, but are not equipped to do so, are also not at fault for somehow "killing" them. suicide is incredibly complex, and suicide grief perhaps even moreso than other types of grief.

i also don't have concrete answers as to what to do about this conflict between our emotions around suicide - wanting to save a person we love, wanting them to stop hurting, being willing to do anything to keep them around - and imagining a world against and beyond the institution in all its permutations. but i know we will move toward it together through open conversation and trust and collective risk. much love and respect to you for asking such a challenging question during a heartbreaking time. <3

[circeyoru]

The Raven’s Deer

[Alastor x Zestial’s Little sibling!Reader]

Part 1 (here) — Part 2

Zestial speaks in [archaic dialect redolent of early modern English], so something like Shakespearean English and you speak that same

Where as Zestial is a bat-like demon, you’re a raven demon with two pairs of retractable black feathered wings on your back. Your appearance was similar to that of an angel, but it was more of a mocking to them since you have an inky substance that would float around you

Different to Zestial who instills fear with just a look and/or his appearance, you tone it down and is arguably the more approachable of the two. Though others can’t see this as a free pass to bully you as you were more prone to violence than Zestial too

You do speak ‘funny’ as the modern sinners would whisper and sometimes try to instantly translate your words with their phones, especially those that were unlucky enough to meet your shopping requirements. But you can speak ‘normally’ in a way that everyone understands. You just don’t to watch them struggle more

Your big brother and you rule over your batch of souls in a small district that you two share and guard, your brother overseeing a mansion while you oversee the surrounding forest. Your people were your silent servants with powers that were useful to you and have signed contracts with you, soul-binding or otherwise

Being as old (do NOT use that word since you died young) ancient as you were, you’ve seen your fair share of the rise and fall of overlords. Though not one as interesting as Alastor. At first, you were merely enjoying some wine while you read whatever was in your collection. Then you heard screams of agony and pain in your room. You were positive there was no one being tortured at the moment, so where did it come from?

The radio had come to life on a shelve of yours. You twitched your fingers, bringing the radio closer to you, the screams were indeed from the device before you. But you never turned it on and this was the first time you heard such music. You left it playing to see when it would stop, to your delight, it never did

Well, until the culprit behind such an act came forward. The screams died down a bit, but not entirely gone as he made his name known. “Greetings, sinners and demons of Hell! I am Alastor, The Radio Demon!”

“Fitting.” You mumbled out as you listened, from then on, you’d leave the radio playing. Sometimes Alastor was hosting and other times it was those screams. You even talked about it with Zestial, expressing your fascination to this new demon

Your older brother, growing curious and intrigued, asked for Carmilla to host a meeting to see who were still surviving. As luck would have it, it was the day after the extermination. The pair of you were positive Alastor had been safe and alive since he was having a wonderful time broadcasting, all the while Carmilla, Zestial, and you listened and done your own activities in your safe underground room deep within the forest

Your ravens had been the ones to collect the angelic weapons for Carmilla to experiment and create her weapons, even perfecting her fighting style. Since you were more physical and violent than Zestial, you happily trained with Carmilla, even helping her. In exchange, she made sure your wings were even deadier than before, now having angelic coat. Your wings were your weapons

The meeting was uneventful to say the least, Zestial and you didn’t need it to see what Overlord was alive since Zestial could name every demon behind the scream on the radio. See, he was the one with more information and a nack for those things. The pair of you really do complete each other

What caught your interest (and maybe slight fancy) was Alastor. You and Zestial arrived right behind Carmilla and took your seats side by side, ignoring all the Overlords you passed by. Their aura and presence were lacking to say the least, it was no wonder Alastor could overthrow these bunch. You noticed Husk and Niffty missing though

The formal meeting between you and alastor came only when you were delivering some demon bodies to Cannibal Town. You dropped by where Rosie would be without checking if she had company, so you made quite an impression

Alastor blinked with his head tilted as Rosie suddenly got up from her seat and opened one of the bigger windows. Then you appeared, your wings undercovering from the cocoon you wrapped yourself around to enter through the window without breaking it. “Oh, so nice to see you!” Rosie hugged you, careful to avoid your wings even after you shifting it away from her. You returned the sentiment. “I always told you there’s no need to drop bodies for my people.”

“T wast a valorous way to ex’rcise. (It was a good way to exercise)” You waved it off. “Thy people w’re joyous to seeth me anyways, so I’m m’re than joyous to giveth those folk a valorous meal. (Your people were happy to see me anyways, so I’m more than happy to give them a good meal)”

“Oh, where are my manners? Here, allow me to introduce you to our rising Overlord friend.” Rosie guided you over to where Alastor was seat, he immediately got up when you neared. “This is Alastor, The Radio Demon, I’m should you’ve heard. And this is The Nightmare Raven.”

“Quite a pleasure to be meeting such a legend, I’ve heard tales of you!” Alastor bowed a bit, then taking your hand to kiss it. “Never in my weirdest dreams would I think we’d be meeting so causally, my dear.”

“Charm’d I’m sure. It’s a pleasure to beest meeting thee as well. Thy radio did broadcast given thee quite the nameth, broth’r and I has’t been listening and wast ent’rtain’d. (Charmed I’m sure. It’s a pleasure to be meeting you as well. Your radio broadcast given you quite the name, brother and I have been listening and was entertained)” You smiled back

Turns out, you and Alastor hit it off quite well and enjoyed your time well enough that Alastor started acting more intimate behind closed doors. A relationship even Zestial didn’t mind but he sure as hell threatened Alastor a bad time if your heart was broken in any way, shape, or form. Alastor swore, “I’d never leave such a beauty and terror alone. Why, I’d think your lovely sibling is worthy of all things!”

LIAR

The first year of his disappearance, you thought he was busy with a human contract up above. But there was none. The second year, you thought he was perhaps taking a break from interacting with you since you were a bit more clingy than he’d like. The third year, you thought an exterminator got to him. The fourth year, you accepted his disappearance and broke down. The fifth year, you were suddenly active when you caught wind that Husk and Niffty were alive but still bound by contracts, you searched high and low, but no Alastor. Not even his radio played new screams. The sixth year, Zestial comforted you and suggested you drop your interest in Alastor. The seventh year, you locked yourself in your forest. Only leaving and observing the city by your ravens

Alastor flinched when Zestial spoke of you, he eyed the raven on the ancient Overlord’s shoulder, it was on the side away from him, so he was a bit grateful. Perhaps it was a luck thing that you weren’t joining the meeting and Zestial came in your place with the raven. He did feel a shiver when Zestial spoke of your state, how you were not yourself and more drawn back and distant

He honestly never expected to leave for so long. 7 years, 7 exterminations. The times after the two of you met, both of you were tolerant of the other under your shared interest and use of the other. It was merely beneficial, like business partners. Yet he found himself more adaored by you as time passed. He had planned to confess and solidify the relationship between you two, but then came his disappearance

“May I see the darling?” Alastor asked, begged. He needed to make things right

Before Zestial could answer, or perhaps he was waiting for your cue, the raven on his shoulder screamed loudly, motioning its head as if to peck at Alastor. Then came Zestial’s cold tone, different from the previous carefree one when he greeted Alastor. “I believeth mine own sibling hast nay w’rds ‘r timeth to spareth f’r thee, Alastor. (I believe my sibling has no words or time to spare for you, Alastor)”

Note: Yes. I took a break from the requests. But you can still send your ideas for me to write. It's just taking time for me to come up with ideas on how to write it~ I love reading and writing some of your interesting and silly ideas~ Keep them coming!

Circe Y.

MASTERLIST

[lacucarachapisser]

morning bliss colin zabel x f! reader

warning : SMUT but mostly fluff. cringe. unprotected piv. slightly somno. dub-con. um boobs playing. quick nut. morning make out. a little ass spanking. lazy sex. a bit of cockwarming if you squint. lmk if im missing any im really bad at warning. 1.2k wc.

a/n : i’ve never written smut before so, i am so sorry if it doesn’t landed well. and apologies if there are too many grammatical mistakes english isn’t my first.

“for god’s sake, mare. it’s five in the morning.”

colin is on the phone. he complains while massaging his both temples by pressing the fingertips to the line of his eyebrows. you can hear his morning voice jumbled up with annoyance, though he managed to kept his voice down. he told you just last night how exhausted he was because work had been kicking him right in the ass over and over. working overtime, bringing it home, receiving calls in unusual hours, odd schedules, like hell they could stop.

“well… wouldn’t that be a perfect alibi? honestly it can wait,”

what is he talking about? he wakes up and sat at your shared bed, listening to mare’s voice over the phone. it is indeed still dark outside, you haven’t even feel the morning seep through the drapes. both of you slept back-to-back last night, and you still in your position, laying on your left side as your back facing him. there were time when you had to eavesdrop his phone call unintentionally.

you kept your eyes shut closed, pretending to sleep and didn’t bother to flip around because thus only makes him feel guilty— speaking from experience. he doesn’t want to wake you up early. so you stay still, breathing slowly like you always did when you’re asleep.

“give me 30 minutes okay? i need to—“

he stops and you bet that the other person on the phone is interrupting him.

“fine, 20 minutes. whatever.” the call ended in one click and a long exhales come out from colin’s mouth. “fuck me,”

you rarely catch colin saying cuss word in loathed way, and that makes you indeliberately flinch.

he throws his head back to the pillow, hand placing the phone back to the drawer and turns his head towards you. he had a hard time deciding whether he should get up from bed unnoticed or straightly wake you up because he running out of time. and deciding does running out his time.

he scoops your body, spooning you as his hand gently tracing along your waist and the other slipped beneath your underarm. oh does he misses you so much. it was irrational worry that dwelled within him every time he thought about the guilt. mainly because his jobs always interfering his time with you.

“baby..” he breathes in your hair, whispering and sounds extremely stressed, and needy? he hums, voices vibrate in your ears.

you didn’t say anything as you let him hold you from behind, chest pressed against your back. his muscular hand starts rubbing your tummy, up to your chest and squeezing your clothed boobs. and those act itself caught you off guard, which of course made your eyes arise in a wince. now you understand what colin have in mind. he was never a fan of a quick bite. he prefers having you hours, nice and intimate. but seems someone like to try something new to start the day.

“mmh…” your soul barely even there, despite the fact that you listen the whole time when he was on the phone.

he places soft kisses on your bare shoulder, up to your neck and to your jaw. he slightly get up with his elbow, hand still kneading your round breast, trying to get a better access to assault your tits.

as soon as your eyes turn to him, he quickly presses his lips on yours, busy adding some tongue, unbothered by the fact that you both have morning breath. perhaps since he aware of your mouth routine, you normally very much so strict with oral hygiene and you liked to force him to do so. skipping a coffee ritual and have a light bitter saliva to taste for each other wasn’t really that bad at all. and also, you love him anyway. gross? yeah love stinks.

his palm and digits playfully groping your tits, fingertips circle around the texture in the middle. those veiny hands always read your body like a bible, and yes he was greatly intrigued by the shape of your mind but also had a special fondness of your gorgeous chest.

“i promise it’ll be quick,” he turned you around so now you lay on your back, expeditiously spreading your four limbs, locking your arms above your head and found him already between your legs. he didn’t bother to remove your panties, he just brushes aside the fabric that covers your crotch and exposing your pussy.

like the quickest thief, the tip of his length already meet your fold, entering it deep just in case you can quickly adjust to his big hardened cock. he began to thrust you and adding some pace before start kissing and sucking on your collarbone. in between harsh breathing, you manage to speak, though your voice end up a bit squeaky. “what’s gotten into you..?”

his movement gets faster, abusing your throbbing cunt in belligerence way. was he mad at you? however when he looked at you in the eye, it somehow evoking a sense of benevolent yet miserable expression on his face. oh right… he just running out of his time.

with one deep thrust, he touched your most tender spot and you clenched him hard, a big wave of ecstasy start washing over you.

“c-col!”

he whimpered when the end of heavy orgasm hit and pushes himself deep in you for the last time, fill you up nice and full. “i’m sorry baby, i am so sorry. i need you so bad.”

he kisses you on the mouth and you reciprocate it with a lowkey soft smile draw on your face. you found it funny having him needy and thoughtless at the same time. oh your poor man. you hummed sluggishly, eyes closed as you try to recover from the feeling. he always put your first and perfectly fine if you say no. although seeing him being a little selfish like this was one of your top thing on your list.

“that was fast.” you whispered in between kisses.

“told you. i dont have much time,” he suddenly pull away and hide his face on your neck. “i hate my job,”

“no, you don’t,”

“yes i do hate my job,”

“don’t say that. you loved it.”

he peaks at your face and you give him your smile. “not as much as i love you,” he replies lazily.

“shut up,” those three sacred words is often popped up in every moment, somewhat you never expected at all. “how many minutes you have left now?”

“probably 13? 12?”

“do you think we can do another round?”

a sympathetic eye and frowned eyebrows shown on his face contour, lips curled into a ribbon of disappointment with melancholic wrinkles. a low grunt escape from his mouth and he probably think you’d get upset if he refuse. he was about to reply your question but instead you chuckle and wrapped your arm around his neck.

“i’m messing with you…” you poke his nose with your pointer “come on. let’s get up,”

he exhales and shakes his head “no. still too early for you, you go back to sleep.”

“don’t be silly. i need to change the sheets, come on.”

a soft laugh come out from his lips. he gives you last peck on your cheek before finally get out from the bed. you need to readjust your nightgown first before joining him.

“at least let me make you some coffee,” as you walk by passing him, heading to the door out, he smacked your ass and grinning in satisfaction. those makes you jolt but you honestly don’t give a damn. you used to colin’s habit.

“yes ma’am.” the smile on his face subsides slowly as soon as the sound of the clock catch his ears. only if he could just stop it because now he should be ready for duty might slap his ass at any time.