#i am incredibly antisocial
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rotherau · 1 year ago
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i hate "small towns" but like i would thrive in an actual small town. like i'm talking 8 people in the middle of fuck knows nowhere with like 1 building. it sounds like a dream
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rosetintedgunman · 2 years ago
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OOC
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not-pollux · 3 months ago
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I feel like my room is not that interesting lmao
@tonystarkwasrobbed @t1r3dart1st
Once again, this post got super long, so what would you steal from my room!
Ty dearly for the tag ^-^
@ultra-raging-ghost @q-starhalo @mysteriouswolf
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suzukiblu · 2 months ago
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Day seven of “obligatory sugar baby Kon” behind the cut. tw: implications of past grooming/abuse and the inherent problems in someone who was in that situation trying to flirt with someone actually age-appropriate. prev: (( chrono || non-chrono ))
“. . . ‘fast’,” Kon echoes awkwardly, glancing down at their hands. Tim tries not to wince. He definitely sounds like an idiot or a prude or–whatever. Just incredibly, incredibly uncool. 
He has actually never felt less like a prude since getting to know Kon well enough to notice things like how good the bastard looks soaked in Kool-Aid, but now is just . . . really not the time for thoughts like those, yeah. 
“I, uh–I’ve never actually, um . . . with anyone, actually. Guy or not,” Tim half-admits, though it feels stupid that being a virgin is something to admit instead of just a statement of fact. Normally it wouldn’t be, is the thing, but he just really doesn’t want Kon to think he sounds lame or antisocial or . . . whatever, exactly. “I actually would literally not even know how to, uh . . . give you ‘tips’ or anything. Unless I had like, the prep time to do some research, I mean. It’s just, uh–I don't date much, to be honest. Or, uh. Pretty much at all? Like, you're definitely more experienced than I am either, uh, either way, like that's just–I don't do much of this stuff. Any of it. I have in fact gone out with exactly two girls in my life and they both were definitely, um–also the ones who were making the moves and all.” 
It's not that he never want to make a move, just usually he's too busy being way too in his own head about it or something else entirely or–
God, he is rambling so much, Tim realizes, repressing a cringe when he realizes how blankly Kon’s currently staring at him. Because it is very, very blankly, that Kon is staring at him. 
Crap. 
“Uh,” Tim says with a grimace. “Sorry. Um. If you were expecting something . . . faster, I mean.” 
Kon should definitely not have anything that fast if he’s thinking of himself as a product, Tim’s basically positive, but also that’s actually not any of his damn business, but also he definitely needs to look into Kon’s dating history just to add a few names to his list for when he finally goes supervillain and just maybe look into–
. . . Kon is still just staring blankly at him. 
Tim fails to repress the cringe this time. 
“Uh,” he attempts again. “Kon? Are you . . .?” 
Kon turns literally crimson and ducks his head, but also doesn’t actually stop staring at him. 
. . . alright then, Tim thinks. 
“I do like you. I like you a lot. Like–I like-like you a lot, if I have somehow managed to not be embarrassingly obvious about that at this point,” he tries, borderline flailing in the conversation now since Kon is apparently no longer willing to use his words and he was already not doing that great with it when Kon was using his words, and he can’t even talk with his hands or anything because he’s holding Kon’s hands like an actual grade schooler, except probably no one ever has held Kon’s hands like–no, no, he is not far enough down the supervillain pipeline to be able to finish that thought process and deal with the psychological consequences of having to not burn down the system about it, he really cannot do that at any point in the next ten to fifteen years whatsoever. “This isn't–I'm just–it's not me not wanting to . . . take some pictures, eventually. Just . . . maybe we could wait a bit on it. Stick with the streets and buildings for a little while longer, maybe?” 
He tries for a smile and also tries not to cringe again over how weak an attempt it feels like, and then has the uneasy and uncomfortable thought that actually doing anything like that isn’t even really–is that ethical, even? Even the idea of doing something like that? Kon doesn’t really know Robin all that well, no, but they’re on the same team and the same side, and they’re teammates and at least arguably friends, and Kon also doesn’t know he is Robin, and– 
“Um,” Kon says, his hands tightening just a bit around Tim’s and his face still blazingly and borderline inhumanly red as his head ducks a little lower and his mouth curves into what is, in fact, the most unfairly soft smile that Tim has ever seen on the bastard’s face. “We could do that, yeah.” 
Tim was thinking about something, probably? Which hopefully wasn’t something important, considering just how ruthlessly Kon just fried his brain out of his head. Which is not even reasonable or logical, because all Kon did was . . . well, imply he was fine taking things at Tim’s pace and not actually going to get immediately bored if he didn’t put out and was actually interested in just being together, and also did it while smiling at him like that. 
Alright, fine, Tim knows exactly why his stupid brain got itself fried. He’s still apparently embarrassingly easy, though. 
Well, that’s not exactly new information in regards to Kon anyway. 
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funkyplantguy · 4 months ago
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for the prompt asks thing: how about scarian as musicians of some sort?
rubbing my hands together. excellent, excellent - featuring: drummer!scar and singer!grian (meet-cute! kinda)
- now, in all honesty, grian had assumed that the showers would be empty at this time of night. i mean, really, who showered at 3 in the morning on a tuesday night? (freaks, that was who, freaks, and a totally normal insomniac who had maybe been up a touch too late working on his latest music project). plus - he'd never run into anyone in the showers at this time before, at least not this semester. he'd been pretty quick to memorize the bathroom routines of the people on his floor - and then use that knowledge to avoid each and every one of them. he wasn't antisocial, per say, just very busy - and plus, if he was going to be wasting valuable time showering, anyway, he might as well make use of the frankly incredible acoustics in the bathroom. so that's how he found himself here, standing completely naked in the showers, his rendition of some old pop ballad tapering off into loud applause from directly outside his shower stall.
"that was really good!" came the voice (one that grian did not recognize - for better or for worse). "wow! you're an incredible singer." the shock of it all left grian speechless - speechless, and frankly a little incredulous at the nerve of his mysterious audience. really - who stood outside of someone's shower stall just...listening to them sing? what kind of stalker behavior was that? was it a fan who had somehow figured out where he went to college? he did have a fanbase, after all - small, but weirdly dedicated. but no, that didn't make sense - they would have had to have a keycard to get into the building, especially at this time of night when there wasn't really anyone coming. then who...?
a few moments and a hasty pair of pajamas later, grian pulled the stall door open to reveal -
oh.
oh.
sitting in front of him was a man - a very handsome man at that, all wide, green eyes and genuine, toothy smile. a very handsome man in a wheelchair, parked patiently in front of the only wheelchair-accessible shower stall on the whole floor - namely, the stall that grian had been using. hot shame rose in his cheeks as he shuffled out of the way, clutching his shower bag tightly to his chest.
"sorry," he blurted, sheepishly. "i...i, um...there's usually nobody taking showers this late at night during the week, and, uh, i didn't know that you...um...that...that anyone ever used...or needed to use...uh...oh god, sorry. yeah. sorry. i'll leave you to it."
he turned to scamper back to his dorm room, already anticipating the scolding he'd get from his roommate when he recounted the experience the next morning, but the man's loud laughter had him stopping in his tracks (and not because it was the most gorgeous laugh he'd ever heard in his life, no, definitely not that).
"it's okay!" the other affirmed, light eyes twinkling even in the dull florescent lighting. "no worries - i'm scar, by the way. i just moved in this week. had a bit of a late start - the university messed up some of my accommodations and originally had me over in schaffer."
"the dorms at the top of the hill?" grian gawked, his own blunder momentarily forgotten. "how do they expect you to get up and down that every day?" "my question exactly!" scar responded. "apparently, they "didn't think about that", so...here i am. a bit behind the curve, but hey, what can you do." "complain to the dean, frankly." "tried that. he didn't seem to care." "jesus. this place sucks." "you're telling me!"
a silence fell over the two, then, and grian shifted his weight from foot to foot, suddenly feeling...exposed, under the piercing gaze from the other. he felt like scar was taking him apart with his eyes, studying every visible piece of him and stringing together opinions - conclusions - based on what he saw. fleetingly, grian wished that he'd bought that cute, matching pajama set he'd seen when he'd gone shopping with mumbo the week prior.
"anyway," scar started again, smooth voice cutting easily through the tension. "your voice is really good! i play the drums - we should hang sometime! maybe have a jammy session." "i - a...a what?" "a jammy session! y'know, where you get together and jammy out?" "scar, i think you mean jam out. a jam session?"
"oooooh," scar responded, raising a hand to scratch at his cheek. "yeah, that makes more sense. i thought there was something weird about that, but cub said 'no scar, you're right, it's a jammy session'. i should have known better than to trust that rapscallion." "oh! cub? i know cub! he's dating my roommate, mumbo!" "no way! that's so funny - small world! cub's so annoying about mumbo." "yeah, mumbo's annoying about him, too. it's kinda cute." "definitely cute." they fell into silence once more, one thankfully much less tense than the previous. grian found his eyes darting from scar's eyes to his faded t-shirt, to the small scar above his eyebrow, to the way his long, curly hair fell messily over his shoulder - taking in every aspect of his face, taking him apart in the same way that scar had done to him, mere moments earlier. maybe it was the late hour - maybe grian was more tired than he'd thought - but something about this felt like a dream...like he was going to blink and scar would be gone. he found that he didn't want that to happen. he found that he wanted to wake up tomorrow morning and get to hear that laugh again - that loud, joyful laugh - maybe every day for the rest of his life. "a jam session would be nice," he found himself saying. "maybe you can teach me how to play the drums. i'm really rubbish at most instruments, but maybe drums will be the exception?" "sounds great!" scar chirped back, a warm smile settling on his face. "we'll make a drummer out of you yet. hey - here's my number. text me in the morning, and we'll compare schedules. alright?" "yeah - okay, yeah, i'll do that. goodnight, scar." "goodnight, songbird." it was only an hour later, swaddled in blankets and the comfortable sound of mumbo's snoring, that grian realized he'd never given scar his name. ah well. that could be remedied...at a later date.
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cosmerelists · 2 months ago
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Are Various Cosmere Characters a Cat Person or a Dog Person?
Sanderson was once asked whether Kelsier and/or Marsh would be a cat or a dog person, although not everyone was satisfied with his answer (@zephyscosmere). So, inspired by that post, I thought I'd deliver my own headcanons about whether various Cosmere characters would be a cat or a dog person if, you know, such animals existed in their part of the Cosmere.
(I should mention for full transparency that I am 100% a cat person. Will that affect my headcanons? Probably!)
1. Adolin: Dog Person
Not only is Adolin a golden retriever, but he would also have a golden retriever, and he would play approximately one thousand hours of frisbee with it per day.
2. Sadeas: Cat person
I simply cannot shake the image of Sadeas & Ialai plotting together...but also there is a big white fluffy Persian cat with them. If that's wrong then I don't want to be right.
3. Shallan: Cat Person
I'm torn on this, and I'll be interested to hear what you all think. But I feel like when Shallan was essentially on house arrest for most of her life, she had cats, and that they kept her company in her room and napped while she was drawing. And although cats therefore remind her a little bit of a bad time in her life, it wasn't the cat's fault, and she still likes them.
4. Hoid: Cat Person
Hoid is 150% a cat person. I can't even really explain this. I just feel it so strongly in my soul.
5. Vin: Dog Person
I mean, I kinda hate to say this, given that the only actual dog Vin ever bought she also killed immediately. But Vin is kind of canonically a dog person, given her relationship with TenSoon.
6. Hrathen: Cat Person
I'm realizing as I write this that I associate "plotter" with "cat person." But again, I can see Hrathen with a cat. I can see the cat sitting on his shoulder, looking somehow just as arrogant as Hrathen himself, and hissing at Sarene.
7. Kaladin: Dog Person
As much as Kaladin himself is a cat, he would nevertheless be a dog person, I feel. He'd be tromping through Hearthstone as a child with his loyal dog by his side, and as a Radiant he'd give his dog goggles when he needs to fly it around.
8. Gavilar: Dog Person
Gavilar only likes things that are very loyal to him.
9. Moash: Cat Person
Cats have definite boundaries, and if they don't like you, they let you know it. I feel like that would resonate with Moash.
10. Vivenna: Dog Person
This is just instinct, like my "Hoid is a cat person" headcanon. But I feel like Vivenna--and especially Azure--is a dog person.
11. Elend: Cat Person
I think Elend reads thick tomes with a cat on his lap. I also think Vin is cat-like, and that Elend likes her.
12. Vasher: Cat Person
I just think that since Vasher is a prickly misanthropist, that he would like to have another, smaller, fuzzier prickly misanthropist on his side.
13. Tress: Dog Person
[SPOILERS INCOMING!! WHOOP! WHOOP!] I think if your boyfriend has spent any time as a rat being terrorized by cats, you kinda have to be a dog person rather than a cat person.
14. Jasnah: Cat Person
Weirdly, the logic here is the same as it is for Moash. I think Jasnah would appreciate a cat's autonomy and unwillingness to pretend to like people.
15. Painter: Cat Person
He's an antisocial artist. I mean, that says "cat" right?
16. Lightsong: Cat Person
I've said in a previous list, if there were any justice in this world, Lightsong would have an incredibly spoiled Persian cat with him at all times.
17. Breeze: Neither
I don't think Breeze wants fur of any type to get on his clothes.
18. Allrianne: Dog Person
Specifically, one of those dogs you can carry around in your purse and which has a pink sparkly collar.
19. Steris: Cat Person
Cats have rules and strict schedules. Steris would appreciate that.
20. Wax: Both
In the Roughs, Wax had an immaculately fluffy cat who sat on his shoulder and kept primly grooming itself. In the city, Wax has a wonky-looking mutt who slobbers a lot. Wax loves them both.
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gardnhee · 10 months ago
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can we start over? - c.yj
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✸ tw/content. intentional lowercase, cussing, angst(very little), fluff, use of baby (only like once or twice.), reader is slightly antisocial in the beginning, not really proofread
✸ exbsf!yj x afab!reader
✸ note. yj drabble cs i love him an unhealthy amount
✸ song rec. start over - jacquees
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you stood in a corner like the awkward person that you are. away from all the chatter, laughter, yelling, and horny crowd. this is how you liked it, you indulged in your solitude.
the unbearably loud music rang in your ears, the fact that you were standing just a couple feet from the speakers didn’t help either.
you decided to drown the ringing by taking a sip of your cup, inhaling a sharp breath as the liquid cascaded down your throat.
“…who hired this dj? music’s unbearable…” you murmured as you frowned at the dj who stood a couple steps from you.
it was fairly boring for a while, the music slowly started to feel faint as the stuffy atmosphere began to push its way into your already tight space. you slightly squeeze the plastic cup in your hand, pressing your back against the wall.
you felt trapped.
deciding you’ve had enough of this, you walk away from the corner. as if you were popping a bubble; like a puppy opening its eyes for the first time, but instead of meeting with a fascinating world, you’re met with drunk shit heads who can’t dance, let alone walk in a straight line.
“where is she…” you huffed, looking for the coworker who invited you to this party, if you can even call it that. it’s more depressing than a fucking funeral.
pushing through everyone was a literal pain in the ass, the environment reeked of alcohol, and the air was incredibly thick. you were starting to regret even accepting the goddamn invitation.
go they said, it’ll be fun they said, “fun my ass.” you utter a small ‘tsk’ as a man twice your size bumps into you, not even having the common courtesy to apologize. god, this is horrible.
you somehow ended up in the kitchen. sighing in frustration, you rest yourself against the counter.
“i’m going to fucking kill-“ you started, but were rudely interrupted when someone walked into the kitchen.
your eyes slightly widened as you acknowledge the person. your ex best friend. fun.
he was whistling along to the horrendous noise these people call music, happiness basically oozing from his pores.
he turned his head to you, looking at you from head to toe in shock, shock which soon subsided and was replaced with an expression you can’t quite describe.
“oh.. hey.” yeonjun waved, mullet drenched in sweat as some loose hairs stuck to his forehead. he breathed heavily, his once joyful demeanor now engulfed in…uncomfortableness? melancholy? nostalgia? it’s been so long that you can’t tell anymore.
he slowly made his way to the fridge, giving you an awkward smile as you bite your inner cheek and look away.
it was silent for a while, you could feel his eyes burning holes into your face.
“yn?” he quietly said, arms crossed over the open fridge door. he looked at you, waiting for a response.
in all honesty, he didn’t expect one. at least not after ghosting you completely and then coming back a couple months later like nothing happened.
he scoffed and shook his head with a sad smile, sighing in disbelief. he was disappointed in himself.
yeonjun shut the fridge door and begun to lead himself out the kitchen, “yes?” you replied with urgency, you didn’t want him to leave. not again. not after losing him for months.
he chuckled, looking back at you. “you’re…not mad at me?” he asked, feet moving in your direction. he realized you aren’t so closed off anymore, you’re more…awake, as if you’ve come to terms with the gravity of things, and for that, he’s thankful. he can make things right now.
you grew nervous, a prominent lump built up in your throat, making it difficult for you to breathe. “i wouldn’t say i am - or was - mad, i guess i..“ you stopped yourself as yeonjun stumbled, falling onto you.
you tried backing up, but couldn’t. fucking counter…you thought, swallowing slowly as the smell of alcohol invaded your nostrils.
“yeonjun? yeonjun, you’re drunk.” you tried pushing him off, but he didn’t budge. instead, he laid his head on your shoulder, “not drunk, just… tipsy.” he blabbered.
it was silent for a couple seconds until you heard him sniffle. he was crying.
“wha…” he grabbed your waist, sobbing into your shoulder. “i’m so-“ he hiccuped, followed by a groan. “i’m sorry, yn, i’m sorry!” yeonjun cried, lifting his head in an attempt to look at you. you stood there, dumbfounded. heart hammering against your chest. he’s drunk. it was evident, yet he still denied it.
he peeked at you through his wet lashes, incoherent sounds slipping past his lips as he wiped his runny nose. “and you say you’re not drunk? look at you! why are you crying?!” you raised both brows in confusion, stroking his hair softly.
you’re supposed to be cussing him out for all the hurt he’s caused you, for leaving with absolutely no explanation, yet here you are, combing your cold fingers through his sweaty strands as he bawls into your shoulder. you’ve seen him like this more often than not; always manages to surprise you, though.
“i’m not drunk…. ‘m sorry” he hesitated, wiping the wetness from his eyes with the back of his hand. as you realize how close your bodies are, you nod, circling around him.
yeonjun turned, biting his lip. he wants to say something. you know he wants to say something, but he’s holding back and it’s making you anxious and impatient.
“would you maybe…want to leave?” you blink, all previous feelings of discomfort disappearing. “what’re you planning?” you question, crossing your arms as you sternly stare at him.
“maybe grab some drinks and then go to my place?” he smiled, which quickly disappeared when you displayed a doubting look. “i mean, i just want to talk to you…without all the noise…and the multitude of people.” your heart shattered, and you were sure your eyes softened, because his did too.
“fine.” yeonjun’s ears perk up, big smile on his face. “let’s go.” you nodded, grabbing his arm before he left the kitchen.
“i’m driving.”
“but-“ his eyebrows furrowed, “no buts, deny it all you want, we’re not risking it.” he sighed, defeat poking through the pout on his lips. he lowly hummed in agreement, walking out of the kitchen with you trailing close behind.
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“home sweet home!” yeonjun exclaimed, arms flying in the air as the bag of soju dangled in his hand. “yeonjun, be quiet, it’s late.” you slowly grabbed his arm, taking the bag of soju away. “i shouldn’t have allowed you to drink on the way here.” you sighed, placing the bag on the counter and taking out the already opened box of soju.
he pouted, stumbling towards the little coffee table that sat in the middle of his living room. “bring some soju, please!” he slurred.
you grabbed the box, nestling it under your arm as you made your way towards drunk yeonjun.
you sat down, setting the box on the coffee table. “oh…i forgot to bring shot glasses.” you groaned, fixing to stand up when yeonjun stopped you.
“no, it’s okay. i’ll go get them.” he smiled, patting your hand.
“but-“
“it’s okay.” he shook his head, standing up and making his way to the kitchen.
in a matter of seconds, he was back, sitting in front of you with soju in hand, two shot glasses already set on the table.
yeonjun held the bottle from the bottom with one hand, and swirled it vigorously with the other. you watched him closely, how his hands wrapped around the bottle, you wonder how they’d feel on your face-
“yn?” you blinked, snapping back into reality. “yes? i’m sorry.” you gulped, noticing a full shot glass in front of you.
as you were about to reach for the glass, you stopped midway. sighing as you plopped your arm down on the table. yeonjun noticed this and raised a brow, “is everything…alright?” he asked, pouring soju into his glass.
“yes…and no.” you admitted, “i mean i just…i missed this, you know? spending time with you. i missed being here. i missed this apartment.” you paused, staring at yeonjun who was now looking down at his thighs.
“i missed you.” you leaned forward, arms now crossed on the table. yeonjun snapped his head up, quickly grabbing his glass and gulping the liquid down.
“ahhh…” he set the glass down, frowning as the liquid burned his throat. “i missed you too yn…” he smiled weakly, you realized he wasn’t in the right mind for all the sappy stuff right now, so you decided to change the subject.
“tell me, what have you been up to?” you smiled, grabbing your glass, tilting your head to the side as you swallow the drink.
“me? hm…not much….” yeonjun leaned forward, smile spread across his flushed cheeks.
✸ ✸ ✸
you lost track of time, it seemed. but you weren’t the only one. yeonjun, too, lost track of how many shots he took. not that it mattered, he was already drunk out of his mind to begin with. “baby…..” he slurred, reaching out to you as you gasped. baby?? are you serious??
“yeonjun what…” you decided to stop yourself, not even questioning anything that came out of his mouth.
after looking around for a minute, you groaned. there is so much to clean up.
an unfinished 20 pack of soju on the table; only 4 remaining, some snack wrappers thrown on the table, and a drunk yeonjun who can’t even utter a proper sentence.
“‘m s’sorry” he hiccuped, head lulling as he smiled like an idiot. his lips glistened under the dim light, most likely from all the constant licking and drinking he’s been doing.
“let me take you to your room so you can sleep.” he shook his head violently, backing up against the sofa behind him as you made your way to him.
“no!” he pouted, looking at you with tears brimming his eyes. “oh you’re such a child, come on let’s go!” yeonjun pushed your hand off his arm, whining.
you stopped and huffed, sitting down beside him in order to comfort him, “why are you crying?”
“i f…feel like shit” he cried, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. “why do you feel that way?” you knew this was just a drunk fit of his, but you had to at least hear him out.
“‘cuz i ruined my chance with the person i love” he sniffles, staring into your eyes with his teary ones. you blinked, wiping his tears with your thumbs. “and who may that be?” you question, stroking his shoulder in a comforting manner.
“you.” you inhale sharply, blinking in confusion. you shook your head, chuckling awkwardly, “you’re just drunk, come on.” yeonjun stopped protesting, defeated by his own tiredness.
you wrapped his arm over your shoulder, dragging him while leaning against the walls for support. “goddamnit, what have you been eating? you’re so heavy.” you strain, sighing in relief as your eyes find his bedroom door.
opening the door was one thing, laying him on the bed was another. you pant, his body weighing you down. as a result you slipped and fell.
on top of him.
jesus fuck.
you froze when he groaned. “i’m so sorry!” you scrambled to stand up, but he grabbed your arm and pulled you against him.
“sleep with me tonight, please.” yeonjun whispered, lazy smile spreading across his face. you shake your head, “yeonjun, you’re drunk. we can’t be doing this. you’re not in the right mind!” you faintly shake your head, “please?” he insisted.
you sighed, pressing your forehead against his chest. “fine. but i will be leaving first thing in the morning.” he chuckled, nodding. “if you want to get comfortable, my shirts are over there-“ he hiccuped. you nodded and patted his chest in understanding. “just sleep, okay?? i’ll be right back.” yeonjun hummed, closing his eyes.
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you wake up groggy and disoriented, staring at the window as a ray of sunshine peeked through the curtain, making you squint and smile lazily.
you rub the sleep from your eyes and stretch, “good mor-“ you stop as you notice yeonjun isn’t in bed with you anymore. you look around the room once more, no sign of him.
a pang of worry and confusion washed over you. one would think it’s stupid considering the fact that you’re in his house, yet you can’t help but be alarmed.
what if he left you again?
‘oh that’s stupid, yn. pull yourself together.’ you shake your head and scoff, but the panic settles at the pit of your stomach nonetheless.
throwing the blanket to the side, you stand, yawning as you wobble towards the door.
“yn-“ yeonjun stops, doorknob in one hand and breakfast tray in the other. he eyed you as you stood there, eyes wide in confusion.
yeonjun blinked, “good morning?…” he lets out a breathy laugh, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him with his foot. “i made you breakfast.” you felt your heart squeeze at that. he smiled, walking over to the bed and signaling you to lay down.
and you did. you laid down, placing the warm blankets back on your body and smoothing them over in order to create a flat enough surface for the breakfast tray.
“thank you so much..” you gush as yeonjun placed the tray in front of you. he sat down, crossing his legs and smiling like a total idiot.
“you’ve been nothing but smiles since you walked in the room…did something happen?” you question, making yeonjun hang his head with an even bigger smile on his face. “you look so beautiful.” he mumbled, adjusting his position on the bed.
“what?” you looked up, cheek stuffed with food. he snorted, scooting forward and leaning towards you. “i said,” he wiped your lip with his thumb, eyes traveling to yours, holding them dearly. “you look so beautiful.” he chuckled at your expression, making his heart skip a beat.
“you’re making a mess, be careful, yeah?” you grab the tray, placing it to one side as you choke on your food. yeonjun stands with you, stroking your arms with his soft hands.
“hey, you alright?” you nodded, grabbing onto his shoulder for support. “it’s just…” you stopped, swallowing the lump in your throat. “you caught me off guard, that’s all.” yeonjun’s eyes softened, “i meant it.” he caressed your face as a warm smile tugged at his lips.
“why…why are you being so nice to me?” you stepped away from his hold, sitting back down on the soft bed. he sighed and flopped down beside you, staring at the curtains that blocked the sunlight.
“because i’m in love with you.” his eyes traveled from the window to you, “i’ve been in love with you.” you waver, eyes widening in confusion. “and i don’t want to mess up again.”
“so last night-“
“i remember.” yeonjun nodded, fidgeting with his thumbs as he bit his bottom lip. “i guess i was drunk enough to let that slip but not enough to forget.” he reasoned, gazing at you briefly before staring at his feet.
“it’s okay if you don’t want anything to do with me, i mean-“ you placed a hand on his, drawing circles on it with your thumb. “yeonjun, im in love with you too.” he stopped, shifting on the bed.
“what?…”
“im in love with you too.”
he stuttered, mouth opened for a few seconds before closing it again. you saw the glint in his his eyes before being pulled into a hug.
a long, warm, cozy hug.
a hug you’ve been craving for a while.
his hug.
you broke into tears, nuzzling your face into his shoulder. “oh god, yn, i’m deeply sorry. i’ve hurt you so much.” yeonjun ran his fingers through your hair, cooing softly.
you stained his shirt, but he didn’t care,“i missed you so much, you know? we stopped talking for so long. i thought i lost you for real…” you say between sobs, lightly punching his chest.
“i forgive you, dumbass.” he stayed quiet, you’re too nice. he didn’t deserve you, he didn’t deserve your forgiveness. yet you gave it. you gave something so precious to someone who doesn’t even deserve a single look from you.
yeonjun held your face in his hands, wiping your tears with his thumbs. he smiled, “how about this, you finish breakfast and then we can go wherever you want. i’ll explain myself. i’ll explain everything.” you nod slowly, grinning.
“there’s my yn, i missed you.” he quipped, earning himself a slap to his arm. he winced, rubbing the spot.
“is this a date then?” you question, grabbing another bite of your once forgotten food.
“hmmmmmmm” yeonjun tapped his chin, laughing as you whine. “yes dummy, it is.” he flicked your forehead lightly as you giggled.
you grab his arm, “let’s get ready then.” yeonjun didn’t budge as you tried dragging him along, “but the food…” you shook your head, “it’s gone cold, plus i know you’re somewhat hung over so let me treat you to food, hm?” you tapped his hand reassuringly.
“yn-“
“i’m not taking no for an answer.” he pursed his mouth, slowly nodding in defeat.
“perfect, where do you want to go?”
“how about…”
you both disagreed the entire way to the bathroom, laughing and giggling as jokes were thrown around between sentences.
you missed this.
you missed yeonjun.
he was willing to start over, and you were willing to let it happen.
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© GARDNHEE 2024, do not copy, modify, or upload on other platforms.
💌: im sorry this is lwk ass, i hope you enjoyed regardless! please make sure to leave a like, comment, and reblog!! thank you 🫶
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privatebooth · 7 months ago
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Since I dived into the pool of nostalgia, why not go deeper?
How did I even decide to romance Fenris? I could never imagine going after someone like him. From all the things we were being told during the development stage, I didn't think I could like him. Though honestly, after Zevran I didn't believe it was possible for me to ever like a game character so much.
Fenris was obviously prejudiced, and normally that would be a huge turn off for me. It's much easier to get along with more open minded people. Still, out of all those characters Fenris intrigued me the most, primarily because he'd been written by David Gaider, and I had faith in him. Then there were talks about a new approval system, and it was said that some romances could only be done trough rivalry, and I suspected that Fenris (with a mage) was the one they'd meant (guess they cut it out altogether in the end, thank the Maker! Never liked the concept of Rivalmance, and what a huge relief it was to learn that it was possible to friendmance him as a mage!)
Dumb as it is, what really cemented him as the one was a piece of Gaider's interview, where he talked about Fenris's aversion to being touched and how he would attack anyone who attempted it - except for Hawke. And it wasn't even dependent on Romance. Like, Hawke was the only one he didn't mind touching him. Even if it was due to the game mechanics (what kind of companion would attack the PC?) -which could be written off as his respect for the leader's authority, in the beginning at least - Hawke was his exception. I admit, I am weak for exceptions, and If it's you it's okay trope gives me life. So I figured it might turn into an interetsing relationship, even if one of the characters involved was angry, antisocial and hard to talk to.
All these thoughts had taken root in my mind way before I actually met the guy. Didn't want to be spoiled too much, so it took me much longer than it should have to meet him. I did the Bait and switch quest sometime just before the Expedition. Missed a lot of friendship points because of it, but it worked out for the best in end!
So, Bait and switch. Even after all these years, this fateful encounter makes my heart beat faster, and I don't mind replaying it over and over. Just, oh my GOD, it's incredible!
Fenris's introduction is so epic! It's badass as hell, sure, but the way he spoke... It was not the voice itself which alone deserves an entire article tbh, but the way it sounded. It was so composed and steady, even as he ripped into that guy's chest to crush his heart. And then he apologised(!) and started explaining himself, and readily answered every question, calmly as a sea... Think I turned into jelly just then.
Maybe it's because of my own weak ability to cope with stress, but soft spoken characters who manage to keep their composure and talk calmly in any situation often enthrall me. I was listening to his every word with baited breath while asking every question...
And then he asked for help, and I was exposed to his puppy eyes for the first time... What marvelous facial expressions he displayed right from the start!
Yeah, he managed to win me over, though all those nuances were superficial. I had no idea how deep it would get.
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 11 months ago
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AITA for how I tried to convince my RP partner that not all pwNPD are abusers?
The story is basically what the title says. I'm not giving out genders/ages for anonymity, but everyone involved here is an older teenager or young adult. Someone who I used to be friends with is incredibly biased against people with Cluster B personality disorders (antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder). In the past, she has implied that all people with narcissistic personality disorder are abusers and that all people with antisocial personality disorder are serial killers. Her reasoning for this is that she was abused in the past by someone with NPD and therefore considers ALL people with a Cluster B disorder to be dangerous.
(to be fair, I don't know if she feels the same way about BPD or HPD, since she has never mentioned either before and I don't dare to lol)
Although I was and still am scared to directly confront her about her viewpoints, I tried challenging them through the roleplays we do together. I introduced a character who would've likely been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder if she was older (she's 17 in the RP). She was portrayed as kind and generous, so I purposefully introduced her to show my friend that people with personality disorders can be good people, even if some of them are abusers. I didn't directly tell her that the character was supposed to represent narcissistic personality disorder, as none of us list the diagnoses of characters.
This wasn't the first character with implied NPD that I had submitted. Rather, there was another character who existed at the time and was just reduced to "insecure villain," which made them rather offensive as "representation." I later removed this character, although I originally tried to "fix" the character by balancing them out with better representation. So, I definitely wasn't trying to claim that people with NPD can't be abusers, ever. Rather, I wanted to show that people with NPD have the potential to be good and bad people.
Eventually, I one day had a mental breakdown for unrelated reasons and "apologized" to my ex-friend, admitting that part of the reason I'd introduced the character was to change her mind. While I don't actually feel bad for introducing the character, I still think I'm an asshole for giving a fake apology for something I don't feel sorry about, as I apologized with the intent of pushing her away rather than showing remorse.
After that, we've kind of put up a fair bit of distance between each other. She's being nice to me because... well, I've convinced her that I'm open to her ableist viewpoints by being a total pushover (another AH move of mine, yippee /s), and I'm staying on good terms with her because I don't want the drama and hurt that comes with formally ending a friendship. I feel like this is an ESH situation, with my friend being an AH for having shitty views and me being an AH for not knowing how to use the block button, but I wanted to hear what others had to think.
What are these acronyms?
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taraljc · 3 months ago
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every time I watch the scenes of SCORPIA training their operatives it's really driven home how much they don't want leaders they want soldiers who will blindly follow orders.
When Alex refuses to shoot the silhouette of a person, everyone tells him he has to get over it. but actual intelligence gathering organisations full of operatives who practice their tradecraft treat any individual as a potential asset.
It makes absolutely zero sense not to try to turn someone instead of just killing them out right.
I think that's why Julia was blindsided by John Rider. And also every single time someone fails in their mad plan to rule the world it's because of ego. Greif, Cray, Julia--even Kellner (Home Secretary), all of them fail because of hubris and ego. And the thing that I actually like about Yassen as an antihero is that you really see that he has zero ego about his work. He knows that he is good at his job and he takes pride in his skill but he feels no need to peacock at all. he has nothing to prove to anyone. he makes decisions and he doesn't second-guess them and that includes deciding to be an incredibly homicidal guardian angel for one Alex Rider for as long as the kid keeps popping up in the middle of SCORPIA missions.
just the look on his face when Damien Cray showed him the footage from the pre-launch and you can see the gears turning as he's trying to play it off his it's a kid don't worry about it no big deal and he's like you can see the little hamster on the wheel trying to figure out if the Department is actually investigating Cray or if Alex has just managed to once again blindly wander directly into an active operation and then he jumps through flaming hoops to make sure Cray doesn't kill the kid at the airfield.
I kind of wonder if Syl was written to be a foil for Yassen specifically. The Rider boys continue the proud tradition of corrupting the next generation of SCORPIA agents by showing them kindness and compassion and basic human decency.
Also the thing that I love the most about series 3 is seeing Kyra and Tom working together to save the day. It is possibly my favourite thing. Tom has gone from how dare you you have stolen my dream (top of the Feathered Serpent leaderboard) and are clearly trying to steal my best mate (not to mention shooting one-handed baskets over and over again in the school gymnasium) to really trusting her and liking her because they both know that the most important person in their life is Alex and that they will both do anything to keep Alex safe.
Kyra has finally internalised the idea that other people can be objectively good. that they can continue to choose to be good no matter how much it infuriates her because she simply cannot wrap her head it not because she's antisocial but because she has never been cherished and cared for this way before. When Tom is trying to explain to her that she and Alex have a thing for each other and she just looks at him like he's doing another stupid Star Wars quote and he just realises that she really doesn't know and instead of teasing her about it just drops it.
However long they've been traveling around the world (and I'm not entirely sure thousands of miles makes any kind of sense Europe's just not that big) they have at least spent their school holiday together without killing each other and that's pretty amazing when you think about it.
I also really hope that Jack and Mrs Jones get to know each other better not because I 'ship them although I am not going to lie I have my moments (I also have extensive headcanon about Ian and Mrs Jones that may or may not ever actually go anywhere.) but I really like the fact that Mrs Jones goes out of her way to go find Jack and be like hey this is a really great time to go on holiday I think you should visit your family as far away from the UK as humanly possible ok bye.
I think Mrs Jones and Jack understand each other and even like each other and are definitely bonded in their mutual desire for Alan Blunt to not be such a dick. and I love that Smithers is also on team our boss is a dick let's protect our teenagers.
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alenachelk · 3 months ago
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I am incredibly disappointed by Felix's absence, but also reservedly glad that he is true to himself and his antisocial nature!
He even created a sentimonster to tell Marinette everything instead of just coming up to her and telling her to her face. This is quite expected for him.
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their-pebble-bear · 2 years ago
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Them (BakuSquad X Reader)
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Note: Honestly this was a unofficial request and I'm here to please ;)
Gender Neutral Reader so everyone can enjoy ❤️
I also headcannon Sero being really good at languages. Is this true? I don't know.
I also don't write about Mina.
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Masterlist - Requests: Open
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Summary: The Bakusquad is pining after reader and they start discussing with themselves who deserves reader the most.
Warnings: None tbh. From now on I will not be warning about cussing. It's a given with me.
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Taglist: @antisocial-minnie
I am opening a taglist, just comment on the post of you wanna be added to my MHA taglist :3
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Maybe in some world, the boys would have been civilised about this discussion. But even as pro heroes they were still teenagers at heart.
"No, look I deserve to be with them. I'm a protector, can handle a thousand punches and I have the personality of a Golden Retriever." Kirishima said with a shark toothed grin.
All the boys groaned and looked at him with plain faces.
"Y'all are dumb. Of course I'm the most suitable. I'm strong, hard working, extremely dedicated and feriously loyal." Bakugou said with a smirk, putting his arms on either side of him, taking up most space and leaving them behind Kiri and Sero who sat on either side of him.
The boys all looked at eachother and nodded. He wasn't wrong but they wouldn't dare mention his temperament. They wanted to get home to their shift tomorrow and preferably not burnt.
"Guys, I know they will choose me. Nobody can deny these amazing eyes and incredible humour." Denki winked as he finger gunned.
They all stared dead faced at him and continued. He pouted as he huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Honestly I think I have the best chance, I mean I'm the linguistic here, sì? Le persone cadono tutte ai miei piedi quando comincio a parlare in una lingua diversa." Sero purred as he spoke in Italian, leaning with a hand under his chin and a finger swiping at his lips as he said so.
They couldn't really stop their hearts from beating faster, to stop the small flush of pink from appearing on their faces.
"Or I want all of you and we can all be together?" The person in question rolled their eyes as they shook their head.
They all looked at eachother and shrugged.
Yes it was that easy.
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sì? Le persone cadono tutte ai miei piedi quando comincio a parlare in una lingua diversa."
Sero said; "yes? The people all fall at my feet when I start talking in a different tongue."
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Please note! This is all my original work! I do not give permission to repost, credit yourself or steal my ideas. Reblogs are appreciated! The picture is not to be saved and used! That is originally made by my fiancé!
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aihoshiino · 28 days ago
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I‘m reading through Umineko atm and am at the last episode of the answers arc and that made me think a lot about ONK for some reason (or rather they‘re both occupying the same amount of brain space atm lol)
Super big fan of both and I still love ONK and many of its characters for what it tried to do, even if i really don’t enjoy the direction the ending is heading at the moment for many reasons, but one of them is the whole wrap up of the revenge-plot and Hikaru and Ai‘s relationship. I loved the 2(?) chapters where Aqua confronted Hikaru with Ai‘s timeless love letter, because it felt so human, their relationship and how deeply tragic and emotional it was but also very… real? So, to see the last few chapters flip-flop between „Kamiki is a really fascinating character with a lot of depth and deeply human“ to „He is just a mastermind manipulating liar and is just flat evil“ is really sad.
Hope it’s kinda understandable what I‘m getting at, english isn’t my first language so excuse any mistakes…
Maybe I’m just spoiled by how Umineko handled murder-mysteries and also tied those mysteries to its themes of love and relationships but, oh well.
ANON!!! I'M GRIPPING YOUR SHOULDERS!!!! THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING ALL THIS TIME!!!!!!
Obviously OnK even at its best doesn't quite reach the same heights as Umineko and even when the character drama and story are in their most well-realized forms, OnK's mystery is still kind of half baked lol. Which to be fairness to Akasaka, is a VERY different skillset than what he made his bread and butter doing but still. Very funny.
THAT SAID... I do think it's really fun to put Umineko and OnK in conversation with each other if only from a thematic/vibes perspective because I think they have some surprisingly similar things to say specifically about misogyny, autonomy and abuse. They were coming at it from very different directions, but they arrive at very similar places. "Lies are love" and "without love, it cannot be seen" aren't... not basically expressing the same sentiment after all.
Those similarities really do make it all the more disappointing where OnK ends up, though.
(Umineko spoilers behind the cut, as well as some trigger warnings; ROT13 filtered because the CWs themselves are also spoilers lol - traqre qlfcubevn, fhvpvqny vqrngvba, puvyq nohfr, cneragny vaprfg & pfn)
As much as I constantly joke about Ai of B-Komachi being Hoshino Ai's Beatrice, I think Hikaru is actually the most Sayocore character of Oshi no Ko which makes it so much more of a let down that OnK fumbles him like it does.
Like... Umineko lets you see Sayo at her absolute worst, the peak of her traumabrained depravity and nevertheless trusts that you will be able to look at her with love and empathize with her when the time comes and you start to see her heart. It treats her with such tender care, letting you excruciatingly understand every step she took down the path to finding the gold and blowing up the shrine until you realize that there really was no other way things could have gone for her. The environment of the Ushiromiya family is so incredibly poisonous and putrid that she was already one foot into suicidal ideation before she found out about her heritage and what Kinzo had done to her mother. Even if you can't agree with her actions, you can understand and sympathize with why she ends up taking them.
OnK... sort of seems like it's setting up to be doing this with Hikaru then takes a massive swerve?? It's bizarre. We even have an accidental parallel to EP8's "an accumulation of sins" moment during Ruby and Hikaru's first meeting where she fucking looks into the camera and is like "btw nobody is born ontologically evil, when people commit violent and antisocial acts their environments are almost always to blame" and that combined with how Aqua's first confrontation with him plays out and tbh the Movie Arc's characterization of Hikaru as a whole really makes it feel like the story wants you to see him as we're asked to see Sayo in Umineko - with love (read: empathy and an open mind).
But then ig it turns out he was, actually, ontologically evil and also has a serial killer cult??? So who even knows lol. What I wouldn't give to be able to pick Aka's brain for even 5 minutes as to wtf he even thought he was cooking with Hikaru in the end
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wsknbfanaccnt · 1 month ago
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Can you do the mental health one for Hanamiya? 👉👈
OKAY NORMALLY I WOULD REFUSE BECAUSE I ONLY DO REQUESTS FOR THE GOM+KAGAMI
but honestly this was so interesting to think about I can't resist so here we go
Hanamiya Mental Disorder
TW!!: mentions of sadism, self harm, mental illness, substance abuse
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Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) + Sociopathy
though Hanamiya is a little bitch, I can't imagine that he doesn't struggle with his disorder sometimes
I don't mean that he is a straight up sociopath either, it's more like ASPD with traces of sociopathy
so I say this because the one big trait of his is doing everything for his enjoyment regardless of how it might affect others
it's not clear if he does this outside of basketball, but I know for a fact that he's not a complete asshole
like for example he wouldn't kick a baby just for the fun of it
but he does have sadistic tendencies
not necessarily sexual either (tho he probably is like that in bed anyways) but just something about seeing pure despair in someone just lights a fire in him
I say Sociopathy because despite everything, he's incredibly intelligent and charming
that's the thing, he can be charming if he wants to and he's fucking amazing at it
when something doesn't go his way, he's the type to blame others for it, manipulating the truth and gaslighting everyone
and unfortunately he's also good at it, and people will believe him
he definitely will also get violent if he isn't satisfied with something, he'd probably pick a fight/hurt others or throw shit around and destroy his surroundings
but sometimes that isn't enough
I think he definitely self harms because of that, he needs to be satisfied one way or another and if he can't get that by being violent to others, he'll do it to himself
but he does so out of anger, and he rarely does it
discovered marijuana after high school and became addicted
it's not clear in the anime, but I think Hanamiya and Imayoshi would get along the most (despite Hanamiya hating Imayoshi lmfao)
they just relate to each other in ways that others dont
so in turn it's a weird friendship
even if Imayoshi is a bitch, Hanamiya had always found some comfort in Imayoshi's presence
tho he's never vulnerable with anyone, there's just a silent mutual understanding between the two
it's not a deep understanding, but they just get it ykwim?
he struggles with in the way that he has kind of a weird perception of himself, knowing that he is a genius but also trying to prove it to himself and others
the amount of manipulation he does would lead to some amounts of paranoia, needing to be in control of the situation 24/7
I honestly am not too sure if he would necessarily "struggle" with making connections since that would kinda require him wanting to make connections
but he does struggle in the sense that he can't empathize with people and he's blunt, always taking the easy way out since he doesn't care about others
since he deems himself superior to others, he has a fragile sense of self and crumbles if he feels out of control
occasionally experiences derealization
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idkaguyorsomething · 1 year ago
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Is it weird that I am perfectly fine with Araki giving Jodio a severe mental illness but still wish he had given Jodio a different one?
sorry it took so long to answer this one, i was trying to figure out how exactly to answer it, and it turns out there's a lot of different ways:
from a perspective of representation: mental illness is an incredibly stigmatized subject, and in mediums like manga and comic books even more so, as it is incredibly common for a lot of popular plots in those mediums to go "well, x character went crazy, that's why they're evil", as well as stories in general to associate a lack of empathy with a lack of ability to act in traditionally heroic ways. jjba itself has shown that, as part of dio's initial villainous characterization involves him showing a lack of empathy towards various figures such as dario or george (although this isn't the only way his villainy is characterized, as we're also shown right off the bat that he's very deliberately cruel). with jodio being set up as more of an anti-hero, giving him more traits that could be considered unheroic as well as a commonly stigmatized mental disorder, it makes sense to not have that sit quite right. but taking the history of the series into mind, jojo's is no stranger to exploring more shades of gray in its protagonists in its past. johnny and gappy have certainly committed far greater acts of brutality in their parts, while giorno, who jodio is set up as a parallel to, outright aspires to be a head of organized crime. even josuke, who is portrayed as one of the kindest and most pure-of-heart jojos, basically condemns a guy to a fate worse than death in his first arc. this isn't necessarily anything new the series is giving us, and the fact that the jojolands is largely portrayed from the perspective of jodio himself is a massive plus, as it gives us insight into his thought processes and helps us sympathize with a character we might not have done so otherwise (telling a story from the perspective of someone doesn't necessarily ask us to sympathize with them, but things like the goofy jokes he makes with dragona, his own insight on his diagnosis, and his clear love for his family go a long way towards making jodio likeable). one could view this as the natural progression of jojos tending towards the anti-heroic while araki explores more marginalized communities he's interested in portraying, or a poorly thought out decision that furthers stigma towards said marginalized communities. personally, i think it's still too early in the story to make any real judgements, but the way i see it it's kind of similar to the situation with jolyne. she's the only female jojo, and the only one besides jonathan who ultimately fails in her quest at the end of her part. there are narrative and thematic reasons for doing so, but it doesn't sit right with a lot of people, and that's perfectly fine.
from a medical perspective: according to the dsm 5, a person must fit at least three of the criteria for antisocial personality disorder in order to be diagnosed as having it, most of which jodio does fit. failure to conform to social laws and norms (he's a teenage drug dealer), deceitfulness (when barbara ann asks him where he is and if he's hanging out with paco, he lies), impulsivity (he destroys one of the lava rocks to try and get rohan to cooperate), aggressiveness (he kicks that one fucking cop until he's a stain on the ground, twice, although he is justified in his actions and this kind of willingness to fight people is essentially a requirement to be a jojo), reckless disregard of safety (again, practically a requirement for most main characters), consistent irresponsibility (assuming what we've been shown of him is how he acts all the time, yes, although the story so far takes place over too small of a timeframe to determine that), and lack of remorse (dragona has to remind him not to get too violent in the opening chapter with the cop). so he does fit most of the criteria, but it is also a requirement that, to receive a diagnosis, a person must be eighteen or older, with evidence of having fit some of the criteria before the age of fifteen. so by real world standards, jodio would be on track to being diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, but actually receiving it from a high school psychologist is bullshit. then again, this is the universe where the president made a cowboy race battle royale where the contestants had to collect magic body parts, so it's entirely possible that psychiatric standards in that world are just different. but you would be entirely justified in not liking his diagnosis, and there are several other disorders that fit the behavior that jodio shows. there's adhd (the impulsivity and tendency to get lost in daydreams and beating the shit out of cops), depression (the sense of emptiness he describes upon being given his diagnosis), anxiety (irritability and angry outbursts), and that's just some of the more common disorders. we haven't even gotten into some other full-on personality disorders or common comorbidities with antisocial personality disorder! from this perspective, your assessment is totally fair.
from a thematic perspective: as mentioned earlier, jojo's is no stranger to making its heroes increasingly reflected in shades of gray, and parts seven and eight especially make a point of contrasting their protagonists with their respective foils from parts one and four. johnny is a paraplegic gringo jockey twink that murders people so hard his friend the executioner had to tell him to slow down, in contrast with the jacked and kindly gentleman jonathan who impressed a stranger so much with his dignity that he immediately joined him in his quest. gappy is a quirky lil amnesiac who beats people to death with shovels while josuke has one of the more normal personalities of all the jojos and possibly the lowest kill count. at first it might seem like giorno and jodio are the most similar duo, since they're both criminals that act a-okay with murder, but while giorno's goals and reasoning for joining the criminal underground are motivated by a sense of empathy towards the people of italy and a belief in a higher ideology that passione can aspire to, jodio is a very self-centered kid. he has a very inflated idea of his own reputation, can't spot obvious traps, and the very first thing we're told about him is that he wants to be stinking rich. he also believes in the ideology of mechanisms, but it's an ideology that is explicitly centered around gain and his own material wealth, in contrast to giorno's philosophy, which involves ideals of self-improvement and certain boundaries that should not be crossed in the pursuit of power. giorno's ruthlessness stems from a place of compassion, so having his counterpart being someone who lacks the ability to feel empathy is a really interesting choice that gives the story a lot of places to go. the fact that the other criteria he fills, like impulsiveness and irresponsibility, stand in direct contrast to giorno's ambition and planning ahead, also adds further potential for the jojolands to explore a completely different sort of crime story than golden wind. so from this perspective, i'd say that your assessment is rather harsh.
tl;dr there's a lot of different angles to approach this question from. it's 90% probably that i completely misunderstood what you were trying to ask, though, so please tell me what i got wrong :P
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wawawawawawawawawawawawawa · 11 months ago
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okay, fuck it. let's talk about remorse. more specifically, the lack of it
there was a post going around a while ago that claimed that izaya couldn't possibly have aspd, because he feels remorse, and its simply so subtle that it's hard to pick up on, and he simply hides it to maintain his image. given that this post is a jab at me and my work, i feel no guilt nor will feel remorse over jabbing right back.
(especially since, if you pay attention to the wording of the post and OP themselves, it's clear that they had a... certain other neurodiverse headcanon for izaya, and was for some reason mad at me for having a different one)
(but i digress)
let's talk remorse.
first of all, the "lack of remorse" criterion isn't, as some might be tempted to think, the most important "hallmark" symptom of aspd. let's break down how disorders are diagnosed!
in the DSM, disorder symptoms are classed into criteria. these criteria are sometimes grouped together. here's the criteria list for ASPD in the dsm-5-tr, the most current version;
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under group A, we have the standard "this is what the disorder is like, and these are the symptoms of it. you need X amount to have this disorder." the criteria listed in groups B, C, and D are on their own because they are required for diagnosis. if the lack of remorse criterion was truly SO important that it was the hallmark of the disorder, the one symptom that sets it apart from all cluster B disorders, then it would be in its own group like those 3 criterion! but it's not, because while it's the symptom most people associate with aspd, it's not the hallmark of the disorder, nor is it explicitly required for diagnosis.
in fact, the main Thing about aspd is, uh, right there actually- a pervasive pattern of disregard for the rights of others. in layman's terms, aspd is categorized by a consistent behavior pattern of treating other peoples' boundaries, wants, needs, and human rights, as trivial. this overall behavior pattern is then identified by specific actions or feelings the patient has- hence the criteria.
i could end this post here, honestly- who cares if izaya does or doesn't feel remorse? it's not needed for diagnosis, and it's izaya's whole thing to violate the rights of others- he consistently treats people as his playthings, wether or not they want him to (usually not!) he disregards others' feelings (the suicidal girls come to mind wrt this) and is incredibly reckless with both his life and the lives of others. it's kind of a done deal!
but i won't because i have more to say!
so. izaya. remorse. he feels it, but keeps it hidden. he represses it. and honestly, he always has some justification or another for whatevet it is he's doing. his targets had it coming because they're monsters. or stupid and cowardly. or had it coming. or it doesn't matter because he's a god amongst men. BUT- he does feel remorse! ASPD cured!!!!!!!!!!!!
guys i hate to tell you this, but i've felt remorse before. sparingly, but i have. i am a Person With ASPD from Real Life, i've been diagnosed professionally and even had multiple second opinions check and re-check, to the point that it became a running gag. i, without a shadow of a doubt, have antisocial personality disorder. And I Have Felt Remorse.
(my verdict is it sucks and is terrible and i have no idea how you people do it. yall need like, medals or something)
because, as you might have noticed... a lack of feeling remorse isn't actually the only thing listed. now, a lot of websites don't actually list the second half of the criterion, they just say "lack of remorse" with no elaboration. it's hard to find a website with the proper informatiom on it, especially if you haven't read the dsm to see the full criteria list, so you don't know what you're looking for. truly, i don't blame laypeople for not knowing this- it's not easy to find short of going to the source itself
but if you're writing long posts filled with "facts" about a disorder that you do not have, you better make damn sure your facts are right lest you spread misinformation.
(hell, i HAVE the damn thing and i make sure i'm as accurate as possible, because i acknowledge that Having The Disorder isn't a ticket to immidiate expertise. but imo it's especially egrigious when you don't have it)
but, the criterion itself is defined as "being indifferent to or rationalizing" harmful actions. Or Rationalizing. you can feel remorse as much as you want, but if you stomp it down with justifications about how you were right, it still counts!
and finally, the name of the game with diagnosis of any disorder is consistency. if someone can make their abuser cry because of them and feel no remorse, that's not aspd. that's just a special case. if someone can make anybody cry because of them and feel no remorse, that's aspd.
similarly, if someone can make most people cry because of them and feel no remorse, with one- or maybe two- exceptions, that's... still aspd. because the behavior expressed most consistently is a lack of remorse. one or two exceptions to the rule don't suddenly make you not have aspd, especially if you have multiple other symptoms. (in fact, in some aspd circles people do talk about having "exceptions," kind of like the aspd version of a pwBPD's favorite person. pwaspd feeling remorse or otherwise not meeting criteria in incredibly specific circumstances is in fact a documented phenominon. once again, this happened to me and i've been diagnosed multiple times over. were all those doctors wrong, or does aspd just not work like you thought it did?)
izaya consistently represses most of his more vunerable feelings. that's another one of his main things. if remorse is included in this, which it would be given the pattern, then izaya most consistently does not feel (or otherwise accept) remorse. a few slips of the mask here and there, where he can't stomp it down or ignore it, don't change that the most consistent behavior from him is a lack of remorse. in fact, him feeling remorse here and there makes the portrayal of aspd more realistic, imo-
people with aspd are still people at the end of the day, and aspd is just another mental illness. people are varied, mental illnesses present differently in everyone, and people have good days and bad days where symptoms are more or less pronounced. any symptom isn't going to be set in stone in severity or even presence in someone's life- severity of disorder changes with age, someone's circumstances, or even day-to-day, especially with cluster B disorders, where the people who have it are defined as being "dramatic, emotional, or erratic" (pg 735)
things change. people change. mental illness isn't as simple as people think, and aspd isn't as different from other illnesses as you'd think. people with it- including izaya- will have their good days and their bad days and their rare moments where something breaks through the clouds and for one moment, you feel normal, however distressing the feeling may be
that's not proof that the illness was never there. that's just life with it!
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