#i am incapable of keeping my headcanons to myself so you get that too

[tina-nina]

I wrote this Marluxia/Axel one shot solely to hurt @our-raven-strife-universe, but you guys are welcome to read it as well if you want lmao. I promise it's just as angsty as everything else I write.

[count-lucio]

lucio headcanons because i can't help myself. just a warning that these are rather canon divergent, so keep that in mind while reading! anyway, with no further ado-

my objectively correct lucio 'headcanons' (i am normal)

- he has chronic nerve pain from the constant pain + stress his body was under while he had the plague - even after he comes back. he walks with a cane most days, and claims it's for 'fashion' (it very clearly isn't)

- the whole "missing an entire arm" business is a MUCH bigger deal than the way the game shows it- it's a genuine disability, not just a fun character trait. i'm begging you all to consider lucio needing (and wanting) to spend time with his prosthetic off. lucio phantom limb syndrome and phantom pains. lucio struggling to do things that require both hands on occasion and having to relearn everything after getting his prosthetic. lucio being too rough/too strong/etc with his left arm because he can't feel what he's doing. as much as he loves the gold he can't help but feel terribly insecure and incapable because of it sometimes.

- lucio is not even a tenth as stupid as the writers make him out to be for funny haha villain points. he's actually incredibly intelligent and a big fan of studying + reading "just because." he's very literate and articulate, just overexcitable (and maybe slightly over-emotional) and doesn't always express his intelligence in the best way (or stop and think before doing things). he's also fairly talented, and rather proficient in writing and playing piano - the grand piano in the foyer belongs to both him and nadia!!

- same thing goes for what an incompetent leader he's portrayed to be in the game... it's absolutely nonsensical that he alone was in charge of vesuvia for multiple years and that entire time knew nothing and learned nothing about being an effective ruler. perhaps he's not the most responsible leader at all moments and maaaybe he can be a bit. harsh. but i can't see military-tactical, hand-selected-to-rule-vesuvia-lucio being an INCOMPETENT leader.

- also, the previous count, count spada, took lucio in and taught him everything he knew - the game hardly touches on this and it's an absolute crime because i think the two of them had such a close (dare i say father-son) relationship and spada effectively took lucio under his wing and gave him the necessary training to be an effective leader before naming him his heir. the two of them were very... my parents hate me and i don't know what parental love feels like x i never married or had children and i regret it immensely, yknow ?

- his relationship with morga is much more strained than what's portrayed in canon - both her and his father were rather abusive throughout his childhood and he hides in the palace every time she visits vesuvia and makes nadia deal with her for him (i use 'makes' loosely - nadia would do it even if lucio didn't ask. she's not very fond of morga either and is sympathetic to lucio's fear of her).

- speaking of nadia, the two of them really don't hate eachother all that much. their relationship is much more complicated than what's shown in the game (everyone's is, really, it's all a lot more blurry and queerplatonic than what was written to make it work as a romance game) and while they most definitely butt heads quite often, she by no means hates him and they do, actually, get along a fair amount of the time. they have quite a bit in common and work well together. most of the time.

- contrary to popular belief, mercedes and melchior are not unruly and untrained- they're both trained impeccably, just in lucio's native language, making him the only person capable of controlling them. however when it is him in charge, the three of them are a force to be reckoned with (especially when out hunting) and mercedes and melchior move flawlessly alongside him, nearly predicting what he wants without him even having to speak it aloud. they're impeccably behaved- just for him and him alone.

- on the topic of languages- lucio was raised speaking something different than what is spoken throughout the game. there is no direct real-world equivalent but it's... scandinavian in nature. he has the faintest hint of an accent (and no, it isn't a jersey accent) but he's been speaking other languages for so long it's not quite as noticeable as it was during his mercenary days - although it is quite a bit more noticeable when he's drunk, and he's very prone to cursing in his native language.

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Guys I am on the edge I am losing it. I haven’t written fanfiction since freshmen year of high school, since then I’ve said all my writing will be publishable. And yet I am mere seconds away from losing myself to a Sully family adopting Spider fic what is wrong with me. The chokehold this series has on me. Anyways here are some headcanons that have been giving me holes in my brain:

-All the Sully's constantly argue over who Spider likes best, especially Kiri and Lo'ak. "That's my best friend" "NO, that's my best friend." "I knew him first." "Well, that's not fair you were born first. I've known him my whole life." Then dark horses Tuk and Neteyam come in like "You'd be surprised to learn spider actually likes me best." For a while after Tuk was born the competition was HEAVILY in her favor and everyone was mad about it. Neteyam doesn’t participate unless he wants to annoy someone, but no one thinks he’s in the running as much as he actually is. Spider has no idea this competition exists and whoever tells him is instantly disqualified so he never will. 

-This shit absolutely applies to Jake and Neytiri too if/when they officially adopt him. Which parent Spider likes best competition. Who can get him to call them mom/dad first wins. It’s absolutely RUTHLESS and everyone knows about it except Spider. I’m fairly certain Jake and Neytiri’s love language is borderline unhealthy competition. Bets are made, sabotage is attempted, Tonowari definitely tries to help his bestie Jake and whatever plan they come up with is dumb as hell, I don’t know what it is but it’s stupid. Ultimately, Neytiri wins. Jake is not sad about it actually. 

-Tuk is every parents worst nightmare. Her siblings are so much older than her, she has been desensitized to everything. When Lo’ak and Kiri were Tuk’s age they were fighting over a toy, but Tuk is pretty sure she’s ready for an Ikran. She is the ringleader of all her friendgroups and she can manipulate anyone into anything. She was the youngest to do everything in her family just to keep up with her siblings, and that means she knows so much more than all her friends her age. She taught them all the swear words they know, and she definitely told every child in the clan how babies are made as soon as Lo’ak told her and they were ALL way too young to know. 

-The entire clan is worried Jake and Neytiri will have another accident child. Only they were surprised by Tuk, no one else was. 

-Neteyam confides in Spider in a way he can’t with his siblings. Not only are they the oldest, but I think he isn’t afraid to not be perfect in front of Spider (This is why Neteyam is Spider’s favorite jkjk). I think they have a lot of chill talks up on the mountains, or they go flying and Neteyam’s just like “What if I fail at the hunt tomorrow?” or some shit and Spiders like “Well, it would be about time, and then you would just try again.”

-Spider is Mo’at’s least problematic grandchild, and the one that annoys her the least consistently. Kiri is still her fav tho. There is no Mo’at’s fav competition because everyone knows Kiri would win, but sometimes Lo’ak says he’s her fav because their names are similar and then everyone calls him stupid.

-Speaking of Mo’at, I’m pretty sure her and Jake get drunk together at least once a month. I don’t know what they talk about but GOD I want to. Only Norm has ever been invited and that was like one time and it’s because he and Mo’at are secret besties.

-Spider gives the best advice ever, because of being the only human child on Pandora he has empathy for everyone. He’s the best person to go to if you did something wrong because he’s for sure done something worse. Unfortunately he is incapable of taking any advice himself, and he is def suicidal a lil. You cannot convince me that kid doesn’t wake up every day wanting to die a little bit. 

-For a solid half a year certified dumbasses Lo’ak and Jake were pretty sure Rotxo was some sort of spirit from Eywa because they never met his parents and never saw him go home and he was always somehow around. They shared this theory with no one but each other, which is good because it’s dumb.

-I think once adopted, Spider is a mama’s boy. He craves physical attention and he has been raised essentially Na’vi in a way that Jake hasn’t. I think he would connect with Neytiri’s parenting style more, I think they’d do a lot of weird shit together that the other kids would rather die than help with, like cooking or mending shit. I think Spider would be literally delighted to help with boring household chores with his mother and that’s so mamas boy of him. He’s a “mother, do you need help with dinner, can I do the dishes so you can sit down?” kid while all the rest of them are gagging and calling him a suck up in the background.

-It comes to a head when he tries to help make lunch instead of going surfing with Lo’ak, Kiri, and Ao’nung, and they have to have an intervention. It’s very serious, everyone was there, Tsireya, Ao’nung, Rotxo obviously came because I’m convinced he doesn’t actually have a home. They treat Spider like a five year old going to his first day of preschool.

-Spider and Neytiri also both have experienced such immense loss, and it shaped them both so much at such a young age. I think the way they would talk about it would be similar, and it would be a connection discovered that wouldn’t be vocally acknowledged often but they would both have that. It’s a mutual understanding that the others can’t get as much that helps them get past any animosity and fear. It takes them longer to get to casual conversation actually.

-If Spider ever got an Avatar Mo’at would make them put off the full transfer until he was older 50% because of his safety and 90% because he’s forced to spend time with her every night when he goes back to his human body no matter where they are. She is vocally grumbling always about how her family never visits. He does not pretend to hate it.

-It started out because Spider wasn’t taking care of his human body well enough, for sure. He’s Jake coded. Mo’at was on Feed New Grandson For Daughter duty. But now it evolved and he’s popping out of the link after a long day of Spearfishing with the Boys (I believe this is Tonowari and Jake’s fav father/son + Rotxo bonding activity) and Mo’at is there with Norm and Spider’s dinner like “you will not believe what this idiot warrior did” and Norms like “Do tell” and Spider has his second dinner with the HOTTEST TEA in the Omaticaya camp that Norm and Mo’at can spill. And one time he’s like “Lo’ak fell off a tree today because he’s too used to the water now” and then when Lo’ak finds out about that he pushes Spider out of a tree (from a safe height).

-(He has to recount this tea the next morning to Jake, this is what he and Mo’at did when drinking, he pretends he wants to be up on current affairs in his former tribe but Jake Sully is a gossip whore and he isn’t hiding it well). 

-No one else is interested in this but Lo’ak. He cares so much. It’s Spider spilling the hottest tea with so much disinterest (he only cares because it’s Mo’at and Norm) and Lo’ak and Jake like gasping and then pretending they didn’t. 

-Obviously Kiri and Spider’s bond is insane and unbreakable but I think one time he stepped on a bug and she didn’t speak to him for the entire day. He probably has nightmares about that day. But also Lo’ak did the same thing once and she didn’t talk to him for a week so. 

-I like to think the rest of the Omaticaya do love Spider cause he’s just that weird little guy that’s always like crouched on the rocks and in the trees and shit. I think he and the Sully’s do have other friends and do spend time with others, but Spider, Kiri, Lo’ak, and then later Tuk, all spend literally every waking moment together because they all can’t escape that little feeling that they don’t quite fit in. 

-Tuk doesn’t feel this way she just wants to be there. Neteyam totally feels this way he just feels like he has to be responsible.

-Neteyam also spent every waking moment with them until he had Adult Business to attend to, like learning to be in charge. Now he just spends all his free time with them. His friends are probably like “Why do you want to spend all your time with your little siblings?” and he has Vietnam flashbacks to the 17 things that Lo’ak and Spider did that almost got them killed that week alone (but also he loves being with them all).

-When the Sully’s leave Mo’at is really sad but Norm visits her annoyingly for weird advice that he doesn’t actually need every day and she pretends to hate it but doesn’t because they are secret buddies. 

-Idk if this even happens to Na’vi but Neteyam’s human dna finds a way and he goes prematurely grey for sure. Kids so stressed it’s a miracle he doesn’t go into cardiac arrest. 

-Tonowari and Ronal literally don’t know where Rotxo comes from half the time. He’s just always there. One time when Ao’nung was a baby Tonowari turned around for like 15 seconds to stoke the fire and then there were two babies, Ao’nung and Rotxo, on the mat. 

-Lo’ak doesn’t think things through. Spider has no self preservation skills. There is a difference. So when Lo’ak suggests a dumb thing Spider will probably do it first cause he has recognized and acknowledged the risks, he just doesn’t care, whereas Lo’ak hasn’t realized yet. So he’ll test it out for Lo’ak first. The amount of dumb shit Lo’ak did went way up when Spider was captured because his human test dummy wasn’t there. 

-Once with the Metkayina, Spider and Lo’ak have found a kindred dumbass in Ao’nung (+ Rotxo). He’s never thought a single decision through in his entire life (neither has Rotxo, he’s just here to vibe). They are menaces.

-Unfortunately for everyone, Jake and Tonowari created them from their own very loins, and they too, are dumbasses. If the RDA ever leave them alone the amount of bad decisions the five of them (and Rotxo) will get up to will be astronomical. There’s at least one incident that gets Jake and Tonowari exiled from their respective marui for the night and they have an Adult Men sleepover on the beach that is like the most fun either of them ever had, but they pretend it was no fun at all when they come back. 

-After that Tonowari replaces Mo’at as Jake’s monthly drinking/gossip buddy. Tonowari has never met most of the Omaticayans, but he could ruin lives with some of the info he has. 

-This one might be out of left field, but I think every single Sully child has had a crush to varying degrees on Spider at some point. I think Spider has never even remotely fathomed that anyone on planet Pandora has ever or will ever like him, and if anyone ever did he might just die of shock. He thinks he’s dying a virgin, probably at a young age.

-Ronal and Neytiri go on pretending to hate each other long after they became friends just for fun. No one figured it out until Neytiri was the first choice babysitter for Ronal and Tonowari’s new baby for like the tenth time.

-If Spider ever beats anyone at anything he believes they let him win and literally nothing can change his mind. He’s convinced baby Tuk let him win in a foot race one time, and that Lo’ak fell out of a tree on purpose to let him win a climbing race. The most criminal one is his claim that Ao’nung got a hole in his net intentionally so all his fish escaped and Spider had more. The joke is that no one other than Neteyam or Tsireya would ever let him win. 

-The amount of times a Sully child accidentally dislocated Spider’s arm trying to pull him somewhere is way higher than anyone wants to admit, but Spider can now relocate his arm on his own like a pro. His pain tolerance is way higher than anyone’s should be. Kid just braces that shit against a tree and pops it back in and everyone is horrified every time. The first time it happened in front of the Metkayina kids Ao’nung threw up and then Lo’ak laughed until he cried. Spider shouldn’t use that arm for at least the rest of the day but he used it to shove Lo’ak for Ao’nung.

-Spider loves babies, will stop, drop everything to watch any baby, because he knows how much Na’vi treasure children and he never feels more important then when he gets to watch a little kid because he was trusted to keep the kid safe.

-Lo’ak and Spider are equally matched at sparring because Spider knows where Lo’ak is ticklish.  

-One time Kiri and Lo’ak had a sleepover with Spider at the lab. Norm pretended to hate it but then let them sleep in the room with Grace’s tank and also made them cookies. It was the best night of Spider’s life. Tuk was too little to go and threw the most massive fit ever about it so Neteyam stayed back to keep her company and he was Very Mature and Not At All Jealous about it. 

-They brought him back a cookie, and then everyone was tired all day because literally no one slept except for Tuk. They all took a nap halfway through the day all in a little puppy pile and that was the real sleepover. 

-Post sleepover, the amount of printed out images of human Jake Sully from video logs with like dumb things drawn on him that have made their way around camp is insane. Norm made the kids draw mustaches on him for sure. Jake can’t take a single solitary step without there being a picture of him with a dick for a nose on a tent pole. He was probably stressed about something and this was Lo’ak’s brilliant Cheer Up Dad plan. It was the worst plan ever, but for some unknown reason it worked, and Jake keeps cackling at them like a crazy person when he sees them. Retaliatory Norm pics are in the works, Jake got all the kids in on it this time. Tuk is really good at drawing pa’li shit on Norm’s head.

-Neteyam knows everything about everyone so when he gets in on teasing and jokes his are fucking crazy accurate and targeted, you’ll never recover. Tuk has picked this up from him and she has that little kid talent to destroy you. 

-Every single time someone goes somewhere Spider says some shit like “I hope I see you again!” and everyone knows it’s not a joke and no one finds it funny but he can’t stop doing it.

-The pact that was born between Ao’nung and Lo’ak to impress their respective love interests is the Fight Club of all pacts, either would kill the other to keep it quiet and not feel even a little bad about it. Lo’ak teaches Ao’nung to climb trees to impress Neteyam and Ao’nung teaches Lo’ak to surf to impress Tsireya. Ao’nung eats shit so hard that Lo’ak almost literally dies laughing but then Ao’nung doesn’t warn him about rip currents so he can rescue Lo’ak in front of Neteyam like he’s in Baywatch, coming out of the water all dramatically and with a lil hair flip and then presenting him with his half murdered little brother like a gift.

-The Sully children have been divvying up who gets what of Jake’s stuff when he dies since Tuk was like four. Obviously, they will be devastated, but it’ll be a little less sad when Kiri gets Jake’s coolest knife and not Lo’ak, or Tuk gets his best arm band before Neteyam can call dibs even tho it won’t fit her. It was a lot funnier before the RDA came back. 

-No one has ever dared to do this to Neytiri’s stuff. 

[zenkindoflove]

👶❤️

👶 ⇢ Eris as a girl or boy dad? Give us your favourite headcanons.

Answered here.

❤️⇢ What is your favorite Eris ship and why?

I am SO GLAD you asked. My favorite ship is of course Eris x Alexius, my male OC who I have written 100k+ words about their relationship.

When I started to really get sucked into the Eris vortex, I found myself dissatisfied with the popular canon character ships for him. I also always headcanoned him as gay, so when I started thinking of an OC for him, my first instinct was to think of a male.

This post from 3 years ago provided a very popular interpretation for Eris that I really love - "Eris is a dreamer. But he has no stars in his world."

I wanted to build and OC that would be Eris' star. The light that his world is so lacking. Eris' life is filled with so much pain and darkness. He has to constantly wear a mask to the point I think its hard for him to even know where his true self starts and the mask begins. So when I was building Alexius in my head, I wanted someone who would be a counter to all of that darkness. Alexius is friendly, boisterous, funny, and an optimist. He loves deeply and openly, and is generous with expressing that love - something that is very much out of Eris' comfort zone with how he was raised. And because of that, Alexius really pushes Eris to challenge how reserved and closed off he naturally is. And he also gives him the space to fuck up and make amends. He is smart and witty, something I thought would be essential in a partner for Eris. He keeps up with Eris' wit and even catches him off guard with barbs of his own. But the important thing is that Alexius leads with love and light. I really see Alexius as a strong presence who can see Eris' pain and darkness and provide him a different path. True healing and happiness for a long future together.

I also think there are a lot of things that Eris brings into Alexius' life too. Alexius finds himself playing into roles of what people expect of him as well. Expectations from his family for living in his father's footsteps. Expectations from friends to always be happy go lucky rather than sometimes being deep and introspective. Expectations from lovers to be casual and unserious. And with Eris, Alexius doesn't have those expectations. Eris appreciates both his sunny disposition but also his angry and sour moods. While usually in my stories Eris tries to initially keep him at arms distance, he is incapable of truly walking away from Alexius and does end up giving him a deep, loyal, protective love that Alexius has never known and finds fills his soul. He also provides a way for Alexius to figure out who he is outside of his family, to explore his other skills and talents.

Anyways, I know I used this opportunity to wax poetic about them, but like, clearly I'm obsessed. Once you get this deep, it's impossible to get out, and I don't want to.

Also have I mentioned they're hot together? They are SO hot.

Eris Week Ask Game

[katyspersonal]

you‘ve probably discussed this, I might have missed it. what do you think laurence’s motivations/goals were for everything he did? would you say he’s morally grey? had good or bad intentions?

I would not be surprised if I already discussed it and forgot myself! I am talking about Bloodborne SO much that I end up not remembering what I've discussed already :') I do think that he is morally grey; his most prevalent intentions were good ones, but I think he had some "badness" about him, mostly in the form of wanting to become the new ruling power in Yharnam! Okay I'll go bit by bit.. or try to.

THE biggest clue I have towards his good intentions is the fact that the holy blood is... well, a thing that heals. Not only we can witness it in the game first by using blood vials, but people do address it, verbally! However, I think the evolution and protection bit is really important here, if not MORE important.

There is a large possibility that beasts started becoming a problem even without the scholars messing with the dungeons! Yharnam stands on the "tombs of gods" that are related to the civilizations that actually messed with the blood first, Suspicious Beggar being unlike any other beast but a Loran one could mean that he inherited beasthood rather than developed it... even the very first Caryll Rune was the howling of the beast, and it is paired with the rune that points out beasthood is inherent for humanity:

We are talking about the setting where magic and aliens are real and where there were "first people" (Pthumerians) who caused irrevercible damage on the mortals in general, so the concerns could be real! My personal headcanon is that concerns over beasthood started to come up because meanwhile Kos was washed on the shore, thus abandoning her own concealment of the Eldrich Horrors; she was like Rom, since Sea and Lake runes refer to the barrier both. 🤔

But, yes, notice that Clawmark refers to the inherent thirst for blood within human nature, whereas Simon sarcastically refers to Healing Church's ministration as "beast cleansing", and Amelia's prayer goes like this:

(Sorry for always ripping excerpts from retranslation document ( x ), I am just incapable of working without it after discovering plenty of mistranslations fsdjhfdhs)

We can get a picture that the point of blood ministration is basically, 'The beastly nature within humans craves blood so it is better to satisfy it with some, but if you are not careful about it, you will just keep wanting more and more blood uncontrollably and become a beast anyways'! That's why people should fear the blood... yet, at the same time, seek it. Just in moderation. I would not say that it is a bad plan, but believing that religious agenda and presenting what were the stakes would be enough to keep people's will power strong is... strangely optimistic? Again, Laurence was a smart person, but he had more faith in humanity than, say, Willem or Micolash.

And at the end, besides healing properties and protection from the curse of beasts (that, again, might be inflicted on humanity genetically in this setting all history concidered), there is evolution factor too! There is a very important bit about Sedative:

Byrgenwerth people started to investigate Eldrich Horrors as soon as they returned from Isz, and also after massacre of Fishing Hamlet! I already talked about how Frenzy is relevant to bloodlust, hunt and Oedon here ( x ) and here ( x ), so it is still tied to 'feed your inner beast some blood so it doesn't rip you from inside'! But also, what could be observed directly was, 'if you peer into cosmic horrors too much you go insane and fucking die'. And ALSO:

Willem, and Byrgenwerth in general, pursued the Insight / Eyes Inside and cosmos as the means to improve the humanity:

So, like... it became plain that whereas the researchers could go insane and die from witnessing too much, they could also... NOT do that, and simply study mysteries of the universe normally - all they needed to do is to sip some blood sometimes! I actually can envision Willem, as well as Choir and Mensis that continue his ideas (albeit twisted) to believe that the "weakest must go"! That if someone died during research - it is a tool for the scientists coming after them, and if someone could not handle it then maybe they were not worthy! Meanwhile, I think initially Laurence disagreed with that and thought it would be better to just sip some blood when it gets hard, and evolution without the blood would simple have too much of a body count, with the "survivors" having lost their humanity (figurally OR literally)!

+ This is also an important observation in my version of lore and timeline, in which Healing Church and Byrgenwerth were one at first and Willem was the 'pope', so they were doing both blood ministration and research for eyes (most notable in Adeline's arc), and later Laurence elbowed Willem away to have more control over his own thing 🤔 This is not the most popular theory but the one I am satisfied with the most, I explained it here: ( x )! (fun fact: creator of that one BB fan manga centered on Lady Maria had that interpretation too! xD I feel validated.)

So yeah, in the conclusion, Laurence had plenty of reasons to put his faith in the blood! Healing, protection and evolution. But whereas the next most influential person (Willem) insisted that it was the worst idea ever, other people who LIKED the blood (Cainhurst nobles) apparently were doing it "wrong". They reveled in blood thirst and curse, whether truthfully or that was the prejuduice. Knowing Soulsborne settings, it was both. There must be the reason Lady Maria distasted it, okay? Maybe Fauxsefka too, if you believe she was one of the OG ones and not taken from Cainhurst as a child. Laurence needed to assert the blood healing, but also to have it as the good thing! A thing that connects you with the gods, whereas protecting and advancing your humanity, not corrupting it!

So, he needed to replace the oligarchy (Cainhurst), but to also not let someone else rise instead! Though I still could write it down as good intentions too, albeit twisted - Laurence could not TRUST someone else to act for the betterment of humanity, as well as to have courage to do sacrifices and morally burdening decisions. He was somewhat arrogant but he had the reasons to be, as a genuinely smart person. In his eyes? Micolash and Rom maybe were "smarter", but at the same time so detached from humanity that he could tell in the end they'd forsaken it, by their own will or unintentionally. And wasn't he right? Well, wasn't he?? Micolash is "You are too stupid to make such decisions" (derogatory), but Laurence is "You are too stupid to make such decisions" (affectionate)! Caryll was his equal intellectually but Laurence could tell he lacked the 'courage' and risk-taking streak (by being unwilling to mess with the blood, first of all). Willem was certainly smart, but not only avoided the blood like Caryll, but Laurence could tell he was prone to "gatekeeping". In Laurence's eyes, the 'peasants' deserved a chance for evolution too (and this is some contrast with his teenage "Sorry hun, I don't speak poor uwu" years xD Character development!).

________________________

Anyways, thank you for this ask very much! I LOVE talking about Laurence, he raised in amongst my favourite characters since recent times.. and also discussing the depth and complexity of his character is just what I need x) Yeah, sadly enough, he was not much better in terms of great sacrifices for his goals and machiavelism than Willem or other scholars he looked down on. But, Laurence believed that when HE did that it was different, because at least his ways were 'productive' xd In his opinion, I mean.

The concept of Laurence who was just evil and selfish asshole that wanted power and religious-ish control over everything does nothing to me :pensive: But, I do think that whereas ensuring his power and theocratical control was a necessity, he could still enjoy what he got even a little! I don't see it as corruption arc from nice and good person to a deranged asshole, but rather from a person with clear ambitious goals and comprehension of what it will cost to... well, a person horrified of the cosmic insight and gods that once guided him and getting obsessed with blood in the exact same way he warned others not to.

[maxellminidisc]

Silly but the DūnM3sh nonsense around the last episode has me thinking about how like idk mostly white autistic folks (of the vairety who are not in need of higher assistance) online act like ALL autistic folks exhibit the exact same symptoms and behaviors in social settings when like I find mostly other poc and a lot of women regardless of race have very different experiences with the sort of "stereotypical" reaction and behavior that's most often associated with autism. Which leads to a lot of you assuming we are neurotypical and then this line of thinking extends into your reading of autistic characters, be they headcanons or canon characters. Rest of this is going under a read more

Like idk for a poc, theres already very little grace given to us in social situations, especially when around white people. You guys dont realize but we are consistently aware that no matter what, when we enter a space with y'all there will always be an internal bias present in white people that will deem any behavior of confrontation as inherently aggressive or mean.

So we learn to navigate social situations with an already high level of need to analyze so many of the behaviors and cues of the people around us out of complete necessity. Neurodivergency or not, this becomes a matter of survival. And for some people, like me, the need to do this and possibly avoid and save yourself the pain of having people who's racism is a potential harm to you becomes a priority in your brain more than anything else you have going on. You cant completely shut everything else out about your neurodivergency but you learn enough to keep yourself safe. It's what I was forced to learn when I was like 5-13 because I was relentlessly bullied for my race and ethnicity, and later for my incapacity to not understand certain social cues or even break rules until I was about 12/13.

I'm not completely without symptoms and if anything some of them have gotten worse. I struggle now with knowing when to stop talking until I notice people start looking bored or annoyed and I sometimes dont talk enough for fear of being annoying to people I'm close to. Not to mention I'm ALWAYS double checking what I say in a way that's almost like a compulsion. Like constantly, to the point where before I say something with say like factual information, I like quadruple plus plus check everything on Google before I say it (and even then I might get shit wrong and my reaction to that is....oh boy). And even then I sometimes end up not saying anything because I'm too scared I said something wrong and mislead or upset someone. Or worse, this information is unwarranted and annoying.

If anything I'm someone who's neurodivergency made them OVER COMPENSATE the need to pick up on social cues, eye contact, sociability, etc because it was a way to defend myself (by making it harder to pick on me without push back) or keep myself safe.

But at the end of the day the constant need to keep up with ALL of this burnt me out by the time I was in college and it made me incapable of masking very many noticeable things anymore, especially my over sensory and stimming when I'm stressed (which isnt helped by the fact that I have synesthesia), the anxiety it produces, and ultimately that it leads me to having a panic attack and has me in the place I am now where that shame of freaking out in loud spaces gave me agoraphobia. Now my threshold for "neurotypical behavior" is like SIGNIFICANTLY shorter when I leave my house.

And I constantly apologize for sharing information when I do. Like I have it instilled in me now to say sorry for information I share because I think I'm bothering people. And my capacity to understand jokes is flawed if the person I'm talking to isnt someone I'm consistently around because I haven't completely been able to process the way they speak or their sense of humor. I sometimes take jokes that are lies, unreality, or sarcasm as literal and people have to say "oh no I was joking I made that up".

When I first meet people I'm actually told I'm way too quiet and kind of intimidating because I guess people can sense that I'm analyzing them like a lil computer and I look them in the eyes TOO much. Funnily enough one of my close friends in high school didnt like me very much at firsy because she asked me if I liked her after very little time of being introduced and I straight up said no without much thought as to why that would offend her alskdkdmkfkd but after a while of getting to know her more, we got close, and like most people, after a while they say I seem pretty "normal" and "nice".

And this isnt even touching on my emotional responses and my horrible rejection sensitivity. That would make this even longer. But the one thing I'll say is it's made my relationship with my family VERY bumpy, and especially tumultuous when young, and it's something they struggle to understand still A LOT.

And outside of situations where I cant mask anymore from exhaustion, I get why it's sort if unsurprising to me when I've met white autistic folks who mistakenly assume I'm neurotypical because I can just navigate conversations with a sheen of "normalcy" (and lol racism), until we talk and they're like oh shit I get it now (usually white people with ADHD can pick up on my neurodivergency much faster which is funny lol) where as other people of color with adhd/autism dont ever make that assumption, they just get it. They pick up on ME analyzing them and we just look at each other like 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️

[elialys]

I'm reading your anon messages and I love that you become a fringe/Anna guru... That is no one better for the title lol

And I kinda wanted to participate too hehe so... I just read the answer you give about season 4 and the hatred people had for Peter. I'm from that time, but I had forgotten how real it was. I was quite young while the fourth season was airing, and I always loved Peter and Polivia, but I have to admit that he annoyed me a bit at times hehehe, and I often felt like it wasn't the right time to focus on him, but today I don't know if that happened by the influence of what was happening in the fandom... Besides, I was so focused on the multiple theories that were floating around that I didn't fully enjoy that season. Recently, I rewatched the entire series, and it was great to just enjoy the journey already knowing the ending. I understood Peter's side much more and was able to see things in the character and in that season that I hadn't been able to see back then. I also can not express how much I agree with you that in the end, Peter was just a victim of multiple changes of paths from the writers and the bad execution of their ideas. I know that you're going to start rewatching it now... Do you have any expectations? (Some kind of revelation hehe) Or do you think your opinion will change about anything? Hope this doesn't upset you, I'm so excited that fringe fandom is active again! xx

Hiii! Thank you for your message, always happy to hear from other people who experienced the show live! ❤️

I am clearly VERY biased when it comes to Fringe and its characters, especially Peter and Olivia because I spent so many years of my life writing about them and their psyche, I can't untangle my own headcanons about them and their thought processes from what's actually canon. So I'll never claim my opinions to be sound or objective, they are definitely emotionally driven 😅

That being said, I do think the very very strong reactions/opinions that were all over the fandom back when the show was airing influenced us all who participated in it. Like, to this day, as I said before, I am incapable of reacting normally when people criticize some aspects of s4, even though they are *right* to do so, and I even agree with some of those things, rationally. Except that I am not rational at all when it comes to people being super harsh on Olivia and/or Peter in that season because, fandom trauma haha

I was actually thinking about how much/how well I remember the show, since I'm about to rewatch it after 6 years. I basically still remember the first 3 seasons by heart, I watched and rewatched them so much. But season 4? Some episodes, I only vaguely remember the plot 😂 Season 5 too, to an extent, but that's more because rewatching it back then was too painful and too closely linked to feelings of 'REMEMBER WHEN FRINGE ENDED AND YOU WERE HEARTBROKEN?'

I don't really have any expectations for my rewatch, save for the fact that I expect to be crying basically all the time. I've been waiting all week to start, and I keep randomly crying when I get thinking about some aspects of the show, especially the characters. Granted I'm hormonal but still, I'm slightly emotionally compromised, I feel like my 6 years of bottled-up feelings are bursting out, it's already been an interesting experience and I haven't even started 😂

I guess I'm most curious about how I'll handle season 4 now? I did rewatch it a couple of times after the show ended, but I hadn't really had any time to distance myself from all the BS lol. I don't expect my opinions to change much though, on anything. Like I said, I'm too wrapped up in old feels for me to be objective about anything xD

[letpaimonbitepeople]

Childe headcanons pt 3

featuring demiromantic demisexual Childe, his viewpoint on love (romantic and otherwise), his thoughts on his parents and siblings, him planning to become immortal, speculation on effects of Delusion use, and some shipping that could be with anyone

————————————

He always assumed...

No, it can't be love. Not in [their] heart, and certainly not in his own. He is as incapable of loving as he is incapable of being loved. It doesn't hurt him to admit that, he would insist, because it's a foregone conclusion. It was never a possibility. Maybe if his life had gone differently, maybe he would have developed those types of feelings for someone eventually. Or, maybe not. Either way, it would have been a matter of nature. But the Abyss purified him, excoriating away any potential for such unnecessary baggage so that his potential as a weapon could be unfettered.

Even his love for his family will be mere selfishness in the end, when he overstays his welcome in their lives. Feeling like he has anything good to give them is a joy for him that will never die, whereas Anthon, Tonia, and Teucer's joy—at receiving his visits, letters, and gifts—depends on a false pretense. None of it is real. Or at least, they won't think of it as having been real, and he won't disagree.

As for being loved? He sees the evidence to the contrary every time he meets the eyes of his parents and older siblings. The Abyss also preemptively freed him from the fear of being missed if his pursuit of power met an early end.

None of that makes him feel pain or regret, when he thinks about it objectively. (When he thinks about it 'objectively.') It is freedom.

————————————

"As a Harbinger I don't get many genuine compliments. Not on anything aside from my combat prowess, which, don't get me wrong, I do enjoy! But I get my satisfaction from my successes at vanquishing ever stronger foes."

————————————

"I'm not going to let petty things like death and aging stop me. Not until I've achieved my goal."

"You plan to obtain immortality, then?"

"Most likely. I'll have to do it before I'm past my prime. My ambitions may be greater than even I can accomplish in just a few decades, I'm aware of that. Signora was five hundred years old, did you know? It's well within a Harbinger's remit to pursue power that defies mortality. The Tsaritsa herself would approve, I think. After all, a weapon that wears out too soon isn't that useful."

————————————

"It's very sweet of you to recreate something of our first meeting as foes," Childe says, "even if everything else around us differs. You're as sentimental as I am."

"You admit it, huh? No hiding behind motivational quotes about how a warrior should live, or how a weapon should be?"

"Pfaha ha! I don't hide behind them, I'll have you know... They're the aspirations that are worth reminding myself about."

————————————

With a significant effort he has made very efficient through practice, he creates a dome of water around himself that'll protect him for a few seconds even after he swaps his Vision for his Delusion. That process he has also perfected: he takes off his Vision first, opens the pocket inside his jacket where he keeps its counterpart, and with a dexterous trick of the fingers he flips the Delusion up into his other hand at the same time he drops the Vision in. While he's attaching the Delusion to his belt he's also snapping that pocket shut and pulling the mask into place just in time for the Hydro dome to fall away.

It's hard to believe the Delusion actually drains him in any way when, every time he uses it, it gives him a second wind. As reliably as ever, he feels energy surge through him. It's a thrill that tops off his battle-euphoria and makes him wish he had something to kill.

————————————

[Shippable Character] is a student of Childe's eyes. They fascinate [them] endlessly. [They] witness so many expressions anchored there that betray emotions Childe seems to prefer to hide. Emotions he pretends he doesn't even have, or wishes he didn't, judging by his 'motivational quotes.'

————————————

He's used to physical pain, treasures it as lessons learned and life proven, but... He never gets used to the deep sting of knowing he'll always be a disappointment to his family no matter how many strong foes he vanquishes and no matter how high he rises in the world. He never gets used to the dread that even his dearest siblings will hate him someday soon and that he'll be alone after that, forever. He just buries and reburies those things in fake-it-'til-you-make-it acceptance and his own version of positivity. And, though he sleeps well at night despite the things he's done, every so often it gnaws at him that he has, perhaps, lost control of a large portion of his life.

————————————

The closest he's come to [adrenal fatigue depression] in recent memory was when he decided he'd make himself scarce while Shiki rediscovered himself. His mood had taken a pensive turn that, in part, led to him comparing the Traveler to the stars but not having the guts to say it to [their] face.

————————————

Blushing makes otherwise-invisible freckles appear across his cheekbones. They just redden more than the rest of his skin; they show up in the cold of Snezhnaya's outdoors, too. He's not embarrassed by them... Actually, he is, and that's the problem: he knows he has no reason to be, so the embarrassment is itself embarrassing.

————————————

he cried so much in the Abyss at 14 that his body stopped letting him cry for sadness, fear, or pain, but his eyes still produce tears for other purposes ofc

[staliamazing]

I'm gonna have a go, hope that's alright!!

What’s a fic you’ve read more than once?

Early morning rain by HeyGoodLookin on ao3! It was on a fic list @iansw0rld made for me right when we started becoming friends and I told her I a) watched Shameless, b) loved gallavich and c) loved reading fic! It's one I come back to for the cozy vibes and I have a soft spot for depressed Ian.

What’s a gifset you always have to reblog?

Gotta be thug Mickey with that damn gold chain (I am unwell) or Ian floating in the pool with all those leaves around.

What’s a headcanon you can’t stop thinking about?

To tell the truth I have been thinking far too much about other stuff (work, summer approaching, impending sense of doom that came with turning 20 etc etc) to have a good answer for this. I do like to imagine either Lip or Ian as left-handed though sometimes haha.

What’s a fanart you love looking at?

Uhhhhhh, next question! My fave gallavich fanart are all smutty and reveal wayy too much about myself so... I will say, Panic_Blooms on ao3's 2021 kinktober is a favourite collection of mine!

What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration?

If I had the time/inspiration and also skills, resources, and luck I would Love Love Love to write my own Shameless script and force all the cast to act in it. I'd also love to turn my fics into screenplays and direct them too! Seeing the things in my head come to life that way would be amazing.

What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show?

I've discovered the terms whump and hurt/comfort which are great for narrowing down ao3 searches haha! It's also been fun reading posts by @gallavichmeta and discussing analysis with other people in the fandom!

What’s an underrated trope or concept you’d like to see more of?

Hm, I'm not sure! I suppose a concept would be more of a film-makers view of scenes and blocking. OOH ALSO ALSO one of my biggest special interests as an autistic person is soundtracks so anyone anywhere who wants to talk about songs featured on the soundtrack PLEASE. please.

What’s your favourite season? And has this changed after multiple rewatches of the show?

The first handful of seasons remain my favourites! I've rewatched about 3 times since mid-last year and the nostalgia of them all never fails.

What’s a plot hole you wish had been answered or resolved?

Fiona getting custody of the kids then Not taking Liam with her when she leaves? I was so happy for her but like are you not responsible for a whole Being??? A child?

What scene or moment do you feel isn’t discussed enough?

That scene where you can see Ian's Calvin Klein's LOL in that burgundy shirt ... No but for real when him and Lip talk about them noticing Ian potentially being manic and going to the doctor and whatnot. Such a real, brotherly conversation. And then Carl coming in too. Such a special moment :,)

What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship?

SCRREAAAAAAAAAM why would you ask this I have so many. What comes to mind first is lyrics from 'How To Love You Today' by Son of Cloud...

"I'm learnin' how to love you today

And I'm a little bit stupid when it comes to this game

Sometimes it feels like the rules keep on changing

But I'll try to keep up just the same"

To me, this captures the insecurity Mickey faces in loving Ian and a deeper down feeling of being incapable of caring for him or not knowing how to but over everything wanting Ian to feel safe and loved.

What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale?

Love. Always love <3

Totally optional, fun Gallavich questions if you feel like answering….

Answer one or a few or all, whatever you feel like! No worries if you don’t want to play 💖 but if you do, let’s talk Gallavich…..

What’s a fic you’ve read more than once?

What’s a gifset you always have to reblog?

What’s a headcanon you can’t stop thinking about?

What’s a fanart you love looking at?

What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration?

What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show? Something else?

What’s an underrated trope or concept you’d like to see more of?

What’s your favourite season? And has this changed after multiple rewatches of the show?

What’s a plot hole you wish had been answered or resolved?

What scene or moment do you feel isn’t discussed enough?

What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship?

What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale?

Tagging: @sgtmickeyslaughter @bawlbrayker @shippergirl121fic @neanerbean @miilkoviich @deepeststarfishsong @golden28s @krystallouwho @m4ndysk4nkovich @joanna-olson @gembu-tortuesouscafeine @iris-writesx @redshirt2 @cal-tastrophe @midwestclover @tanktopgallavich @wh0lemilk0vich @jademickian @such-a-barbarian @zutaralesbian @transmickey @dynamic-power @milkovichrules @iansw0rld @crestfallercanyon @scurvgirl @thereyoflights @gallavichonly @redwiccanrobin @ohkate @astaraels @swiftfootedachilles @sam-loves-seb @jrooc @secret-gallavich @c0ffee-gh0ul @l0st4l1fe

And please feel free to tag others!! (I want to tag everyone in this fandom but that’s a bit much so I’m hoping people will answer and tag others) Also, please feel free to just jump in and answer the questions even if you haven’t been tagged! Can’t wait to read everyone’s answers 💖

[morporkian-cryptid]

“I strictly keep to my calling cards, and challenge myself with increasingly difficult heists… But what comes after that? What am I trying to get ahold of? What if the name Lupin is a curse passed down through the generations…”

(Blood Seal of the Eternal Mermaid)

I had a discussion the other day with @mad-man-with-a-book, about Green vs Red and the weight of Lupin’s name and family legacy. Which ended up turning into a full-fledged headcanon and character psycho-analysis, so I thought I’d type it up and post it.

The movie Green vs Red low-key suggests that there never was a “real” Lupin, ie that the first Lupin III before all the impostors was never even related to Arsène Lupin in the first place, but chose to take that name and the reputation that’s linked to it (kinda like Netflix’s Lupin series). While I like the idea, I still prefer the interpretation where Lupin actually is Arsène Lupin’s grandson, because there’s a lot of angst and drama with the weight of a family legacy. And as we all know, I love angst and drama.

For clarity’s sake, and to avoid repeating “Lupin” all the damn time, I’m gonna call Lupin I “Ichisei”, Lupin II “Nisei” and Lupin III “Sansei”.

By the time the anime takes place, Sansei has entirely accepted and made his the legacy of the Lupin name, and the responsibility that goes with it. But he still didn’t entirely choose it, it kind of got dumped on him without him asking. Of course he could have refused, he technically wasn’t obligated to participate in the race for the title of Lupin III; but as the grandson and direct descendant of Ichisei, there must have been a pressure and expectations on him that were way stronger than on other members of the family (then again, we don’t know how many grandchildren Ichisei has, according to the manga he was about as horny as Sansei, and Albert d’Andrésy could very well have the same relation to Ichisei as Sansei… but I digress).

Personally, but that’s just a headcanon, I think Nisei was a good thief but nowhere near the level of Ichisei, and that’s part of what pushes Sansei to outdo himself so much. We know very little about Nisei, but apparently according to the manga he was an absolute dickhead, and I’ve kind of latched onto the idea that he was awful and Sansei hates him, while also being forced to admire him because of his legacy. (I don’t know precisely how shitty a father, but I’m picturing very shitty.)

As a kid, Sansei admired his father just as much as his grandfather, because although Nisei couldn’t hold a candle to Ichisei, he was still a damn good thief by the underworld’s standards; and more importantly, he was a Lupin. Except Sansei didn’t like his father, because he was a dickhead. So, to free himself from that admiration for a father he despised, he had to surpass him, and become more worthy of the Lupin name than him. To be able to hate him in peace.

“Look, Dad, I’m better than you, I no longer have to admire you despite having always hated you.”

Regarding GvsR, I think that if Sansei was some random dude born in another family (but still the same person, with the same personality), he could have admired Arsène Lupin Ichisei and decided to take him as a model to become a thief, and eventually take his name once he felt worthy of it (which, knowing Sansei and his huge ego, probably happened very early on). That would have been an entirely free decision, a choice he made to follow in his idol’s footsteps.

Whereas if Sansei really is Ichisei’s grandson, he carries the weight on his legacy on his shoulders. The choices he has are: 1) follow the path traced for him by his family and become a (more or less talented) thief, 2) say fuck it and abandon his legacy because the pressure is too high, or 3) stick it to his father by deciding to be even better than the man whose shadow he grow up in, to free himself from that pressure; conforming himself to his family’s expectations while surpassing them, shattering them, to prove that they were wrong and he’s better than all of them.

His only way to free himself from his family’s expectation is to either abandon the way of the thief – something he is incapable of resolving to do because that would be a failure in his own eyes – or becoming the best damn thief his family has ever produced. To be free he has to conform himself to his family’s expectations. And honestly, I find that way more interesting than a random (genius, but random) dude who takes the name of Lupin and appropriates by choice the reputation of Arsène Lupin Ichisei.

Additionally, I like the idea that Nisei is dead, or completely out of the game and in prison forever, by the time Sansei gets his title. The concept of a dead father who you can’t prove yourself to anymore is also an interesting aspect to explore.

(a good Nisei is a dead Nisei.)

For context, I typed this whole-ass dissertation about the weight of the Lupin legacy and the lore and psychology of Lupin III into my friend’s inbox, all the while drawing a shitpost about the LoopGang’s collective braincell. This is a perfect summary of the dichotomy of this anime.

While I’m here, random headcanon: Sansei’s a trans guy, and while he was born with the last name Lupin, calling himself Arsène was his own choice.

PLEASE if you have thoughts on this, don't hesitate to add on!

[moved-to-void-kissed]

void im sorry im abt to be very self-indulgent but i would like to know for camellia (and i am about to send a second self-indulgent one)

S, you never have to apologise for being self-indulgent, thank you very much for this opportunity (and also the other one, which I aim to get to imminently!)

(question source: "New Ask Game!" by pisskid)

Send me one of my F/Os and I'll tell you..

- What made me like them - ..please disregard what was written here when this ask was first published because I now remember why I fell for her and it was because of this post entirely, from your forbidden romance assignments. Admittedly, I remember being aware of her and liking her as a character before that point, mainly because a) I like camellia flowers and b) we both have green eyes, but that was the post that started the whole thing off and became the basis for my selfship with her

- My favourite thing about them - I don’t know if it’s a precise favourite since I am notoriously utterly incapable of determining exact favourites, but.. the aspects you were talking about in the server last night about how she doesn’t care what has to happen in order for something to get done, and how she sees no distinction between people in terms of status because, at the end of the day, a fatal wound doesn’t care so why should she? Just, like- the fact that she’s like that but she still has the ability to care for others, and she does care about others, just.. only very few others and only in her own specific way of caring, is just something I find really interesting about her as a character. I used to be a similar way, myself (and sort of still am??) so maybe that’s also why it resonates with me.

- Nicknames we have for each other - ..I get the feeling we’d mostly deal in the more fancy traditional romantic nicknames, things like “darling” and “my love” (a bit like how it is with Luna, really) that could go either way? Only in situations where Camellia doesn’t have to keep up her normal strict formality, of course. Maybe in those she’d just stick to something like “my lady” for Telanthera, since.. she is supposed to be a noblewoman of some description.

- A headcanon about our relationship/friendship - ..Camellia was the one who taught Telanthera how to dance, because you said that she knew how to dance and would teach other nobles, and I already had had it so that Tel wasn’t initially in as prosperous a position as she is now while she was growing up, so it would make sense for her not to have learned that kind of thing, and.. the idea of it also makes me very soft so .w.

- My favourite image of them - well, to my knowledge there are only two different images of her in the first place, namely the sprite and then an art Chris drew. I think the sprite one wins out for me though, just because Camellia’s visibly holding a knife in that one, as she deserves to /lh

- Anything else! - I apologise for being the opposite of Blaine in the sense that I am usually too shy to send any asks about her, but thank you for making such a loveable OC (even if a number of your other OCs are arguably more “conventionally” loveable, and I do love a fair few of them in a platonic way, Camellia’s the one I fell for romantically, so  there =P )

I hope that all that was alright! Thank you again for sending this in, friend! ^-^

[wallwriterstuff]

Am I allowed to place in a request for Mr svelte tracker boi Demetri? I need my greek boi fix. 😅😂 My stimming (due to my slight autism and anxiety) has been kinda bad lately and I was wondering if you could do some headcanons on how he would be with a reader who has that going on? (For example, some of my stimming signs are restless, uncontrollable finger twitches sometimes, and sudden limb movements and facial twitches I can't control 😅) Thanks! Also, sorry if this is too touchy a subject!🙈

You most certainly are allowed and I cannot express how hard I fangirled when I realised it was you in my ask box. I played it very cool but just know I was dying inside from the moment I saw your username come up XD 

TW: Mentions of anxiety and sensory overload. If that’s a little personal to you please be cautious about reading this one!

I’m incapable of writing short things it seems so it’s another long one.

Self-stimulating behaviour, known more commonly as stimming, usually involves repetitive movements and/or sounds. Though it is most often associated with autism (I know when I first saw the word stimming that was where my mind immediately went to) everybody stims in some way, shape or form to relieve stress, tension, anxiety, boredom etc. Some ways are less noticeable than others such as nail biting or finger tapping, while others can be more obvious and disruptive to your social/daily life like licking certain objects or scratching at skin.

I learned all this from doing a bit of reading before taking on this request and if you want to know more then the link to the article I read is right -----> HERE <------ ! It’s informed my ideas for this headcanon request and though I’m open to discussions about the topic to help educate myself and anyone else who wishes to learn more, what I will not tolerate is any sort of hate or discrimination based on the links to developmental disorders and mental illness that stimming has. This blog has and always will be a safe space for anyone and everyone and a little respect for one another will help keep it that way. Be kind folks!

So without further ado, how would Demetri react to you stimming I wonder?

Part 1: Headcanons below the Keep Reading Line Part 2: Teeth (fic) Part 3: Control (fic) 

·         He honestly wouldn’t really notice for a while because, well, humans aren’t exactly designed to be as flawless as vampires

·         Impromptu nosebleeds, migraines, sneezes…they’re just glitches in a faulty system so why is the way your leg just bounced up off of the floor while your sitting any different to those other equally as involuntary things

·         He’s struggling right now to, after all he just met his very human mate and it’s quite overwhelming for him to have to adapt to all these new feelings and situations he finds himself in, but he deals because he can

·         Some days, you just…can’t

·         Getting attacked by a man with some bizarre fascination with your neck is bad enough but being whisked away by strangers is somehow even worse. At least in the first scenario once it’s over it’s over, now you’re just living an anxious person’s nightmare in a new place full of new people

·         Volterra was beautiful, but it wasn’t home. No cosy apartment, no neighbours cat to feed, no monotonous shifts at work…

·         Actually, most of the time you’re left utterly alone to navigate an unfamiliar castle, and the times you aren’t alone is when there’s a man claiming to be your eternal lover in front of you

·         Try to convince me this man doesn’t rip the band aid off and profess his love for you with dramatic flair just TRY

·         Your days are filled with endless boredom where you’re doing nothing at all until someone checks on you, and then fight or flight kicks in because oh HELLO Mr Vampire guard are you here to give me lunch or kill me?

 ·         Demetri had thought that perhaps you were okay with that, since you hadn’t really outwardly reacted beyond the way your cheek twitched up into a smirk once or twice as he spoke. Hell, you’d even winked at him…right?

·         You did that a lot so he really genuinely thought that maybe you were just trying to flirt with him, build a relationship with him. Your constant little winks and the way your fingers twitched when he was nearby, like you so desperately wanted to reach out to him…

·         It took a few weeks before he realised how wrong he was

·         You’d reached for a sip of water and your arm had just whipped outward from your body

          + You’d absolutely drenched him with your entire glass of water and could only stare in abject horror wondering what the supposed vampire would do next, since you’d interrupted him rather smugly detailing his plans for your first date

·         Silence

·         There was just silence

·         It only made your anxiety worse and the muscles in your face just spasmed without your permission and - god did you just smirk at him again, oh no        

         + “I’m glad one of us finds this amusing. If you did not like the idea there were other ways to tell me so.”

 ·         You almost want to cry from sheer embarrassment at this point because the date really had sounded like it could be fun and now you’d just straight up thrown water in his face like he’d insulted you in the worst way imaginable

·         So you come clean and tell him about your stimming

·         He’s really worried at first because autism? Anxiety he’s heard of but autism sounds very dangerous, are you dying? You’re probably dying. He’s going to lose his mate –

·         Another involuntary finger twitch from you forces him to calm down because your anxious enough without his worrying on top, so he kind of brushes it off and makes no big deal out of it

·         Squeezes your hand and kisses your forehead to try and reassure you all is forgiven, even if he does have to go change a very expensive looking designer shirt and god you’re so sorry

·         Of course, that kind of makes it worse for you because anxiety brain is activated and your 99.9999% sure he’s actually furious with you still and has only pretended to forget it while he’s plotting his revenge

·         You see him late at night when you struggle to fall and stay asleep, reading in the low lamplight at his desk across the room, his laptop propped open and a notebook before him but you’re too scared still to ask what it is he’s reading so intently (probably good suggestions on places to bury your body welp)

·         It’s a complete surprise to you therefore when he does take you out on that date he promised you not two weeks later

 ·         He’s chosen a nice overcast day so he’s in the least conspicuous clothing he owns

            + Demetri’s least conspicuous clothes still consist of the most chic and expensive brands you know of and he sticks out like a sore thumb amongst the quaint little market stalls he’s brought you to see

·         Despite the gloomy weather the people of Volterra are out in full force though, swarming the market stalls and chattering and laughing as flashes of gold and silver from jewelry hit your eyes, bright coloured fabrics following

·         It’s all just too much

·         There’s people everywhere and so much noise, so many colours and lights and people brushing past you…

·         Your fingers clench tight around his, his hand immersed in a glove to keep his freezing skin from chilling you too much

·         He squeezes back lightly, eyes shifting to glance down at you with the kindest smile on his lips

         + “Keep squeezing my hand whilst we find somewhere quieter to stand.”

·         Your fingers seemed to take turns pressing into his rock solid skin, an odd sort of comfort coming from the fact you know you can press down hard and he won’t so much as register the sensation, and Demetri squeezes back, just firm enough he knows you can feel the pressure of his palm on yours

·         He takes you to a quiet little side road where the noise is much more faded and there is so much free space around you you feel like you can finally breathe again

·         He still hasn’t stopped squeezing your hand, taking turns with you as you take some steady breaths and try to focus your senses a bit, one thing you can feel, two things you can see, three you can smell...

 ·         “I hope you can forgive me, I did not expect the market to be so busy today with the weather like this.”

·         His apology takes you completely by surprise because how would he even know you struggled with crowds? You barely know each other?

·         Seeing your surprise Demetri rather sheepishly admits as to what exactly he’s been reading all those nights you’ve seen him at his desk, and you’re a little overwhelmed to realise he’s been reading about you

·         Medical journals, mummyblogs, charity websites and more, if it had any information about autism and stimming he’s browsed through it and taken copious amounts of notes, observing you religiously to see what might be relevant to you and how he can help ·         +  “I read somewhere you self-stimulate to calm yourself when you are anxious or your senses feel overwhelmed, is that what happened?”                                    “Well, yes, actually, I…I…”

            “And did it help? Taking you away from the source of stress and letting you squeeze my hand like that?”

·         It had actually, you felt much calmer and Demetri’s obvious acceptance and willingness to help you manage your stimming and anxiety today were one of the first little moments you fell in love with him, looking back on it 

·         He didn’t stop there either. Together you sat down and made a list of all the things that you found most often triggered your stimming, and all of the things that brought you joy so he could figure out things to avoid and things you might like for your future dates

·         Within hours of arriving home you’d gotten a whole new daily routine set up so you weren’t left to languish and wonder what was going to happen next

·         Three days later an express shipment of your favourite smelling scented candles arrived alongside a Bluetooth speaker, supplies Demetri insisted were necessary for nice calming baths on the days your anxiety was playing up

·         He started doing mindfulness practices with you in the evenings

·         He never touched the volume controls for his laptop, speaker or TV, leaving it to you to control the volume so you could set it to a level you were comfortable with, and he religiously policed the noise on his floor to           + “Where are you going? The movie just started…”                                                    “To tell Felix to turn his music down.”               “You’re vampiring again Metri, I can’t even hear that.”

·         When he signed you up for Yoga and meditation classes at a centre in town you drew the line and told him he was going overboard, but bless him he had tried

·         Overall he’s a solid 15/10 for effort, even if some ideas are still experimental - you’re enjoying the deep pressure massages a lot though – and he sometimes goes a bit mother-hen trying to get you out of situations he thinks you’ll struggle with, when actually you’re coping just fine today

·         You love him dearly for it

[seven-oomen]

Please talk about Noah! Your takes are super interesting and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this!

(hope you're having a nice day!)

Alright then strap in! Because I am about to tell you why I think Noah Stilinski is;

A. Bisexual

B. Has the inattentive type of ADHD

Let’s begin!

First off, I think Noah Stilinksi is a bisexual man who has a preference for feminine presenting people. (As one would typically see women dress/appear in western society.) I don’t particularly have evidence for this, I tried scouring S3 to find clues of it, but honestly, I think this is just one of those, I headcanon it and therefore to me, it is true. If you have a different opinion, then awesome, you do you. 

I mean there are some looks between him and Chris Argent that can be interpreted as interested, but you’d have to look very closely. For now, it’s just one of those things, to me it’s like that, and I have fun with it.

Like father, like son right? Except Stiles would be more on the 50/50 scale of bisexuality where I think Noah is more on the 70/30 scale leaning towards feminine people.

As for his ADHD, I did find a lot of clues and tidbits there, so: 

Notice how the sheriff is frequently standing with his arms crossed as if he’s either trying to protect himself (trauma-based) or trying to keep himself from moving too much (ADHD based). This would also explain why the sheriff is often seen standing too still. He also tends to talk with his hands, which is another thing a lot of ADHD people have in common. Though to be fair a lot of NT people do this too.

However here in 3x01 we see the sheriff fully focused on this person while they’re trying to work something out.

Then the next second, Melissa enters the hallway and Noah’s undivided attention is suddenly on her, he barely remembers to utter out an excuse me before addressing Melissa. And he does it as if every neuron in his brain is suddenly focused on her. “Oh hey, Melissa!” 

*Brain switch. Undivided attention is now on Melissa.*

This is a form of hyper-focusing, and if you’ve been trained from a young age you do this while making it look NT-passing. You mask it. I do this. People with ADHD-C or ADHD-I that have a basis in trauma tend to this in my experience.

Like Stiles tends to do, the sheriff too, is moving around fidgeting in the blurry background. He’s talking faster than he can process which is picked up on by his stutters. While he’s trying to figure out a resolution to this conflict. 

You can also tell that there might be some RSD at play here due to the fact that he seems very keen to keep the peace in the scene and wants everyone to get along and let’s keep everyone around me chill. This may not seem like a stereotypical ADHD thing to do, but it’s very common in ADHD-I types.

In the scene with Deaton that he shares in this episode, as well as numerous scenes with Stiles and other characters. You can always see him thinking, you can practically see the wheels turning in his head as he tries to make connections and tries to focus on what lies ahead of him and what people are saying to him. 

Sometimes he successfully succeeds in listening and processing. You see this by his frowns, little head movements. But as soon as those arms cross or his frown deepens you can tell someone is trying to flip the switch, but the light’s not turning on. The information isn’t being processed by his brain. He’s trying to defend himself.

Again, this is a typical thing for someone with ADHD-I who’s been trained and has had extensive therapy to cope with his symptoms. For a while and for general conversations/problems, you are capable of holding the thread. When things get complicated, that’s when you start to see the thread unraveling in Noah’s head.

In 3x02 there’s a moment of impatience as he wakes the boys up but also clearly a look on his face that says a few things.

1. Omg Stiles has done it again.

2. Look at the state of this room where do I even begin? I don’t know, so I just won’t bother.

3. Oh no I have absolutely been here and now I have to deal with my son being in this state too.

So he does the most logical thing to him, he doesn’t deal with it. Just his executive dysfunction going off and thinking; nope I’m not dealing with this, I need to get work, I don’t have time to sit down (hence the mug in his hands.) Man is probably running late already and only now waking the boys up because he realizes they’re A. still in his house. And B. not off to school yet and he needs to get going too.

He has a moment like this in multiple episodes where his impatience and incapability of dealing with a situation in front of him causes him to physically drag Stiles away and using too much force to do it. Though judging by Stiles’s reactions, and the way he relaxes after being grabbed, the sheriff seems to realize how hard he is grabbing and eases up every single time.

And that seems like a little detail, but not knowing your own strength is also a thing that can correspond with ADHD. (Though it can occur in NT people and other conditions as well. Or generally, be caused by anger.) But for the sake of this essay or meta, I will attribute it to Noah having ADHD.

In 3x09 Stiles finally clues him in on what’s happening in Beacon Hills and we can clearly see that he’s struggling to process everything. One could attribute that purely to; 

1. Noah is trying to come to terms that supernatural creatures are real and this would be a lot for anyone to process. Which is a fair and a totally valid assumption.

2. However, we see signs of Noah already starting to believe something is up from the very beginning. There’s always been a side to the sheriff where he was willing to believe or give people the benefit of the doubt when it came to the supernatural. Like in 3x03 when he tells his deputy: “She saw something.”

This leads me to believe that the real matter at hand is that Noah simply can’t process all that information at that time and he needs a few days to think it over in order to do so. Which could be a sign of a processing problem due to ADHD. (Although as I have pointed out, it could also be interpreted as an NT just getting a lot of crazy information at once. Take it as you will.)

In 3x07 Stiles and Scott argue over whether or not to tell Noah what’s going on with the sacrifices. Stiles points out that they shouldn’t because his father is completely overwhelmed.

This can be attributed to several things and interpreted in different ways. Let’s lay down the most obvious one; the sheriff has no idea what’s going on, he has the FBI on his case, and multiple murders on his hands and essentially a serial killer. All of these on their own are enough to be overwhelmed by, yes.

I choose to interpret it as a combination of all of these factors combined with an inability to process this much information or information in general. Which is another symptom of ADHD-I.

We also hear him frequently telling Stiles and the other kids to ‘go home, get to class, go to school.’ Basically what he’s doing in moments like this is 1. looking out for them. 2. Unable to cope and process with all the information he’s been giving during that time and instead of lashing out at the kids, he tries a coping mechanism that’s called divert or redirect. Where you try to redirect people/thoughts/object into a direction or thought process that’s far more manageable to you. 

Which is something that I’ve been taught to do myself in therapy. And that is why I think it’s something Noah has been taught to do as well. Either in the Army/Police Academy. or during therapy sessions.

Now, this is what I like to call Noah’s; I’m trying to process what you’re trying to tell me face. And so far, I’m keeping up. You see the pursed lips, the frown on his face, the slightly squinted eyes. He’s focusing on what Stiles is trying to tell him.

Here he is looking away for a second, processing, trying to manage information. We see him frown further, his lip tensing further, he has to try harder.

He’s processing, processing, he blinks. And then this is the face he pulls right after the blink.

The frown has deepened, he's still following Stiles for now but you can see he’s starting to lose the train of thought here.

Stiles keeps explaining, pulls out the chessboard to explain what is going on.

And Noah has completely lost his train of thought. He has no idea what Stiles is saying to him anymore and no way to process all of the information that Stiles is giving him after this moment. He gets impatient, is annoyed at the things Stiles is telling him. That is because he’s emotionally, and physically overwhelmed. 

He deals with a lot of things in his job and he always seems utterly exhausted because of it. I think that is because his job is exhausting. But I also think it has to do with Noah not being able to filter sounds, stimuli, the inability to process things like an NT. I think Noah suffers from a high level of empathy, this combined with sensory processing issues results in someone who’s constantly trying to filter them out and failing. Resulting in chronic fatigue, turning to other means of dealing (Alcoholism), impatience, etc.

He also seems to have trouble regulating his emotions, as we see with his frequent snaps and jabs at Stiles but he also seems to try and be better about it and regret it when he does snap. We also know that in order to numb his pain and his emotions Noah turned to Alcohol to cope, as sad as it is, this is common in people with ADHD. Who often turn to substances to cope with their symptoms and their inability to regulate themselves, anything to numb all the feelings and their own shortcomings. Noah seems to have fallen into that trap too.

-

I think my favorite moment in this scene comes right after with this face:

And the question of; “Why is Jackson the Kanima?”

Which tells me a few things.

1. After everything, that’s the first question he truly asks as he leans back and tries to process things.

2. This may point to an inability to prioritize tasks/thoughts, which is another symptom of ADHD-I. Which for Noah seems to occur when he’s not on the job or with people he trusts and doesn’t have to mask for. (He does this too when he asks Derek at the station; “But if he doesn’t have a mouth, how does he eat?”) Suggesting that this is a more regular occurrence than we see on the show.

And at this point, I can no longer concentrate on this since I’ve lost my hyper-focus. But I think I managed to compile a pretty decent list.

And that is why I think Noah Stilinski is Bisexual and has ADHD.

Tagging: @mostly-vo1d and @artemisa97 since they are usually involved in these things too. You don’t have to respond of course, but if you feel up to it, join in.

[darkpoisonouslove]

I'm offering you an empty salt shaker - asks 2, 5, 6, 15 (go ahead, I know you have something XD), 16, 20, 25 (about Bloom searching for her parents storyline)

Starting this again because guess who accidentally hit the key combination for undo and lost half an answered ask! This bitch right here.

I answered 2 here.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*

Not that I can think of. It’s usually the source material that ruins things and fandom is tasked with fixing them later.

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?*

I didn’t hate it but Bloom x Icy was incomprehensible to me. Fics helped a lot and so did other posts from here and there and I can see it now. Also, I totally couldn’t see Griffin x Codatorta but that changed, too. Though, that was less fandom and more trashcankitty12 with an ask that made me think about it a little more in-depth so it was pretty much me roping up myself into yet another ship. But ooh, I also don’t think I had considered Palladium x Avalon before fandom but, yes, indeed, it is right there in canon. And I was so puzzled over the Riven x Nabu content I was seeing but after watching seasons 3 and 4, I can totally see where this is coming from. The people are right. That is a bromance right there.

15. Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?

I have no idea what is popular and what isn’t (but you’re right that I have something aka A LOT) so I’ll just list my strong opinionsTM, okay? I will try not to dump on Bloom too much also because it is not a secret that I don’t like her so there is no need for me to go in too much detail.

4kids is the superior dub. That is probably the most controversial opinion I hold. But don’t worry, I’ll try to top it and up the ante. XD

I love Enchantix but it has so many flaws as a concept and even more as an execution and the thing that is really pissing me off is how obviously centered around Bloom’s arc it is. It was clearly created for the advancement of her character and the other girls’ stories came as an afterthought which is why Tecna’s Enchantix was total bullshit. And for having a transformation that is specifically created around Bloom, hers was bullshit as well. I think they should have let her reearn it in order for her to be able to use all of its functions like miniaturizing. Also also, at so many points it totally sounds like Bloom is not upset about the fact that Domino and all of its people were destroyed but about the fact that that means she won’t get her Enchantix. Which btw was a hasty conclusion because at the time Enchantix became a thing, she was still on a mission to find her parents which would have definitely been a way to earn her Enchantix and she had a sign that they were alive. So her angsting over not getting an Enchantix because of what happened on Domino was bad form on the writers’ part.

That spell for good decisions in 1x05 was one of the show’s lowest and most ridiculous moments. It was only included to flaunt in your face how naturally being a leader comes to Bloom because “See? See!!!!!! She can make a good decision without using magic to help her!” So can the majority of the population (note that we are talking about ONE good decision, not an unbreakable sequence of such). She ain’t all that special. Plus, Tecna was written wildly OOC there in order to boost Bloom’s stats so to speak. I’m sorry but Tecna would’ve known that three against four doesn’t give them advantage since they are freshmen and the Trix were seniors at the time. God, that scene was stupid.

Flora is the most boring character in seasons 1-3, fight me about it.

The writers totally had no idea what they were doing with the witches throughout most of season 1 which is why Griffin’s characterization in that season is so inconsistent. Also, wtf was that in 1x06? She straight up tried to kill a bunch of 15-year-old girls. Take a chill pill! I’m glad they figured out a much better balance with her later on.

Not using the fact that Cloud Tower is a living organism more was a fucking wasted opportunity. Especially in season 3 when Valtor took over it. That could have made everything so much better. Also, the witches should have been used more. They were interesting but deserved so much better in terms of development.

Sky should have just fucking died in 2x10. What were these resurrections and Bloom getting healing powers out of nowhere for a total of 5 seconds? You know, that could have been a good setup for a Bloom x Diaspro romance. It would have been so much better if they’d gotten together right after 1x17 and dumped Sky’s sorry ass. Also, Diaspro deserved better.

Riven is the best Specialist but he is especially better than Sky. Remember 1x22 when he was trying to escape CT? He was trapped deep in enemy territory with monsters everywhere and so high above the ground, yet he found his way out. Sky would’ve fucking died out in the open at Magix against one single monster if Bloom hadn’t shown up to rescue him. And the show has the gall to imply that Sky is a better Specialist than Riven is? Please!

The teachers should be fined and sued for emotional and physical damage they haven’t protected their students from. Especially the Alfea teachers who in 1x02 practically admitted that the witches might maim a fairy and they still won’t do shit about it. Nice one!

Griffin and Valtor is canonical subtext and I have nothing more to say about this. It is all there.

Valtor up until 3x18 and Valtor from 3x19 to 3x26 are two different people and the prior is superior in every way. The show ruined him in the last third of the season because there was no other way for Winx to defeat him.

Speaking about Valtor, his whole thing with the Trix is despicable and I hate it so much. It is extremely cringy on their part and extremely underhanded on his and I can’t stand it. Not to mention that it is wildly OOC for the Trix because they are obviously better than that.

I cannot understand saying that Bloom x Valtor is love-hate. I see only hate.

It is ridiculous how easily the Trix beat Griffin in season 6 and how they nearly take control over CT in season 2. And it is also ridiculous that she had to wait for Winx to unspell CT in season 3. She is a teacher, the headmistress of the most prestigious school for witches, a veteran and has been Valtor’s partner (and he himself admitted that together they were unstoppable which means that she has to be pretty powerful and even somewhere close to his level of power). Can the show stop acting like she is defenseless?

The teachers should have been used more. It would’ve been so much better if they were there to at least help Winx if not lead their battles. And it would have made much more sense. Also, how come Ediltrude and Zarathustra literally disappear when it’s convenient and then reappear again (like they did in season 1 when the witches went to Alfea)? That���s just bad writing.

Sky is adopted. He doesn’t resemble Erendor or Samara neither in appearance, nor in character and I hate them enough to headcanon that he was adopted but nobody knows because they don’t want to have claims that he is not an “official” heir of the throne because he isn’t part of the bloodline.

Mike and Vanessa are much more parents to Bloom than Marion and Oritel are, especially when the latter were first released from Obsidian, and the fact that Bloom starts calling them Mike and Vanessa instead of mom and dad after she learns she has other parents is abysmal. Also, they are literally the best parents ever and I love them to death. (I also like Marion and Oritel but Mike and Vanessa are definitely the superior pair of parents if we’re ranking them. I like the idea that the two couples are actually super close and love each other like relatives, in fact.)

What the fuck is up with the magic in this show? There is literally, like, NO FUCKING CONSISTENCY WHATSOEVER! You can’t blink without the rules of it changing in some way. But what am I saying? That would imply that there are any rules which is just not true. Also, there is no clear distinction of how powerful anyone is after season 1. The balance of powers especially between Winx and the Trix is pretty much whatever works for the episode. Same for Winx vs Valtor. The fuckery on that account is unreal. Plus, some of Bloom’s major power explosions happen due to her getting angry. According to the official Wiki - “While practicing or harnessing positive magic, one must keep a compassionate heart, primarily by keeping their thoughts and feelings clear of all negativity, making them capable of attracting positive energy more easily. Thus, if one is plagued with negative thoughts or feelings such as sadness, anger or fear, then their magic will grow   weaker until they may even be left incapable of casting magic until said feelings pass.“ Read that and then read it again, let it sink in. According to the rules of the Winx universe, during some of Bloom’s most powerful moments she was actually using dark magic, not light such because it was fueled by rage. Way to keep it fucking consistent. And that is not just Bloom! FLORA out of all people attacks the Trix in rage in 3x12 when they hurt her sister aka she was also using dark magic at that situation (and then you have Wizgiz scolding Mirta for it in SotLK like it is a sin to use dark magic, smh). In some instances I would argue that it was more of determination to protect rather than anger which I would say would still result in light magic. But The Flora thing, Bloom vs Stormy in 1x09 (Bloom even says she got so angry so that was not a case of protectiveness), Bloom vs Icy in 1x26 and Bloom vs Valtor in 3x14 were definitely rage aka dark magic. And then Bloom is all “fairies don’t have any demons”. Guess again, bitch! Also, writers, you need a dictionary to start comprehending the words you are actually writing?

Now that I think of it, the whole arc in the Resort Realm was bullshit. If it is a magic-free realm, nobody should have any magic in it, period! What is this bullshit that you can use Charmix and Gloomix there because they have higher magical energy? That absolutely doesn’t matter! If there isn’t any magic in the entire realm, having a higher amount of magic in you will not matter because you still can’t use it... because there isn’t any in the realm!!!!!! What the hell! Honestly, the writers can’t comprehend what words mean and that is not the only instance in which it shows.

Someone told me that SotLK is better than Magical Adventure and I don’t mean to offend but that is simply not true. Magical Adventure is leagues above SotLK even if it has some structural problems. Like, literally everything is better. Bloom and Sky are even likable and communicate!!!!!!!! Literally when have you ever seen a better moment for their relationship than in Magical Adventure? If it had been all like that, I would have liked them as a couple.

I think I got everything that comes to mind rn out. Might think of more at some point. I was done and then came back to rage some more because I remembered I had more material.

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

I would have them make smart decisions because 99% of the shit they pull is so stupid it is unreal. I literally cannot tell how they are still alive. Oh, no wait! Plot armor. Yep, that’s it.

But if I had to pick something specific? Bring Nabu back. I sure as hell wouldn’t have killed him. That was an asshole move and I have no idea what the hell the writers were thinking when they wrote that.

And my second choice is - implement a magical system into the series because there isn’t one. Magic always works the way the writers need it to work to pull off their bullshit plot even if it contradicts everything that we’ve seen before. Please, for the love of god! Consistency is already dead; stop stabbing its corpse!!!!

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

Purest ship? Lmao, asking me this question is underhanded. XD If you mean no drama, then Flora and Helia Mike and Vanessa. But I think my actual answer would be Griffin x Faragonda because they have been through so much that we know of or we can deduce and they still stuck together. Sure, they had their ups and downs but it is obviously a love for life that has lasted through so many obstacles and keeps lasting. The reason why I can’t say the same for Mike and Vanessa is because we don’t really know that much about their relationship with each other. But anyway I love both these ships so much.

If you’re talking about a canon ship, though, then Brandon and Stella (I do not recognize the stupid relationship drama in season 4 as canon). He did lie to her about his identity in season 1 but it was for his friendship with Sky (alternatively, for his job and duty as Sky’s squire). I just love how obviously in love Brandon is with Stella and how much Stella doesn’t care about anything but him. She didn’t care that he was a “commoner” and - one of my fave moments - in 1x08 she only cared about his well-being rather than the competition. It was adorable and they are adorable and I love them so much. Pure serotonin, right there!

25. How would you end the Bloom searching for her parents storyline/Would you change the ending?

I would certainly change the logistics of the whole thing because, boy, did it make no sense at all. As for the actual ending, I’d argue that physically finding them is not the end of that storyline and she needs to “find” them emotionally as well which would definitely take more time than SotLK cared to address. Like, she got them out of Obsidian and boom, everything’s fine! She literally doesn’t know them! Those are her parents and she doesn’t know anything about them! Their touch and their voices are unfamiliar to her even and they have missed on so much that they will never be able to get back and you’re saying that everything is fine? Yeah, right.

I would have had her spend a year on Domino with them before season 4. The school year that started in SotLK? She spends that with them. Possibly even the one that starts in Magical Adventure as well. She learns everything she can about them and the family history. She also learns how to be a proper royal because she is the Crown Princess now and she has no idea what the fuck she is doing. I would have made seasons 4 and possibly 5 about that and added more politics in it. Layla and Stella are also princesses who will run their kingdoms one day so we could have had adventures in political relations with Winx Club. They are pretty famous so I am sure there would be rulers of other lands that see them as threats and don’t like them. There could have been tension about that and the whole thing with Domino being the planet of the Dragon Fire could have been addressed. Who would dare oppose them when they are the most powerful force? Are they the most powerful force after the 17 years the planet spent as an ice block? Are there old alliances to be reforged? What is the political climate in the Magic Dimension? All absolutely fascinating questions that would have helped the worldbuilding and made place for Marion and Oritel in Bloom’s life and in the show. We could’ve gone back to the feel of season 1 when they also had other things going on besides the big baddie of the season and it could have been a little more episodical with a loose theme to connect the season and the overarching story of Bloom finding her parents and her place in the world she was born in. That could have been positively epic... And a great way to retain the cast because the Company of Light were allegedly friends so we could have seen Marion and Oritel reconnecting with Griffin, Faragonda, Saladin and Hagen. There could have been resurfacing debates left over from the war. Kingdoms angry at Domino for something that happened back then in order to include flashbacks with the events. AND that would work out with the fact that the Ancestral Witches were still around and could have led to another epic battle that wouldn’t end with the destruction of a whole planet. Like I said, there were amazing possibilities... and they were all wasted.

Well, this was long... and just what I needed. I hope some (civilized) discussion will spark out of that because I am tired of screaming in a void and I want people to talk to me.

[whatyouwantedmetosee]

Thoughts on some Jack X Joey??

Boy howdy do I have a lot of thoughts!! (I actually love this ship, whoops.)

Disclaimer: a lot of my thoughts are from before the Illusion of Living, but now that I know the IOL stuff, I can’t not factor that in to my thoughts. So, various slight spoilers for the Illusion of Living under the cut!

Secondary Disclaimer: My information about the books is via other people, so I may have slight information wrong. This is a lot of headcanons anyway so please excuse any inaccuracies!

(It’s also honestly a lot of rambling character analysis rather than ship thoughts, so I guess if you want to hear my TED Talk on Jack Fain’s personality that’s in here too.)

SO! Obviously this one isn’t exactly like... an Obvious Pairing. But it’s one I think could, theoretically, be pretty nice.

First off: So like, I’m honestly just, gobsmacked, the amount of fuel for my sorta niche ship that showed up in the Illusion of Living? Joey Drew and Jack Fain have coffee and chat, that’s cUTE??? (Also apparently the audiobook puts weird emphasis on Joey enjoying their... meetings, which IDK, it’s probably intended as a like “haha yeah it’s a work meeting even tho we’re actually just having coffee for most of it” but tOO BAD I MADE IT QUEER NOW.

Anyway, on to actual thoughts, which I have split into mini chapters because I am physically incapable of being succinct:

Part One: The Accidental TED Talk About Jack Fain (Or At Least How I View Him)

A lot of my thoughts on this ship are affected by how I view Jack as a character, I think? I see him as someone who’s soft, and nice, yeah, and overall very chill, but I don’t really see him as a pushover, really? I feel like, Jack’s a character who can tell what people want, and then sorta... gently steer them in a direction, rather than just going with what they want.

So like, with Sammy - Sammy is real direct and blunt and rude, and somehow Jack manages to work with him well. This is actually sorta how I view that one IOL scene where Jack interrupts Joey and Sammy’s Gay Reminiscing:tm: - he sees Sammy getting off track and distracted, and decides to step in to keep things back on topic.

I feel like this probably is also how they’re able to work together so well, because Jack can tell when he needs to step in to keep Sammy on track, while also understanding how Sammy wants him to act and doing what Sammy wants him to do. (And as a side note, I honestly feel like Sammy probably knows this and appreciates it? Helps keep things running smoothly. Probably why he isn’t as much of an ass to Jack as he can be to other people.)

Basically, I see him as having a pretty good skill at like, working out people’s systems, working out how to please them, while also coming to compromises that help him also get his point across.

I also feel like, I’m not sure how much of Jack’s Big Attention Seeking Energy is him, so much as him filling a role to do what needs to be done? I don’t think he necessarily hates it, but like... Working with Sammy, someone has to be doing that role. He knows how to work with people, work an audience, get the attention the duo needs to be successful the way Sammy can’t. (Sammy outright doesn’t want attention, but alas, that doesn’t really pay the bills.)

But then, when you hear about Jack at JDS, he tends to get away from everything and be more chill - and I read that as more like, now that he doesn’t need to draw attention for his job, he’s able to settle down a little in that regard. Writing is a lot different from pleasing a crowd, so he doesn’t need to maintain that persona, and can slip into more comfortable habits, get some more peace as he works on writing.

(Also, wrt the one audiolog he has about not being too bothered about that one award being in Joey’s name - I feel like, if he doesn’t actually want the attention so much, I could see him... like, legitimately just not minding it that much, actually, rather than being passive aggressive about it or anything.)

Anyway!!! Those are my thoughts on Jack, so now we can move onto...

Section B: Jack/Joey? On This Blog??? It’s More Likely Than You Think 

So then, with regards to like... shipping with Joey. Note that we’re now sliding into even more headcanon-y territory.

I feel like at the very beginning, Joey probably misreads Jack a lot. He’s still kinda expecting that showy, charismatic, crowd-pleasing persona, the like... what he reads as wanting attention. (Which, true, Jack was seeking that out - because the job required it, not because he, specifically, wanted it.)

So, what he gets is a bit more of a surprise - a bit more chill, calmer. But, he still has that ability to work with people, even though he’s not using it on a crowd.

From the sounds of things in IOL, it seems like, the meeting stuff between Joey and the Music Dept. Boys goes pretty smoothly... but like, I get the impression that later on in the studio’s timeline, things go slightly less well between Sammy and Joey. (Stares at the conspicuous lack of Jack Fain in DCTL. Hm.)

But yeah, I like to imagine, Jack in meetings with Joey and Sammy, helping like... smooth things over more when changes need to be made or the music isn’t working out quite how Joey wants it to. Jack knows enough about Sammy to know how to appeal to his side of things, while also compromising enough with Joey’s side of things, incorporating the changes Joey wants but suggesting ways it could work better, helping tone down Joey’s helpful suggestions that wouldn’t work as well as he thinks they would.

I’m a big fan of the concept of like... Joey originally has a big crush on Sammy, he’s so mysterious, what’s going on in his head, etc. - but then, a lot more slowly, he gets to know Jack better, spends more time with him, slowly works out how Jack actually works. Learns to appreciate that more subdued charisma he has, the way he can tell how people work and work with it.

And then, it’s just nice to imagine a nicer more chill Joey ship. Have some nice meetings, get coffee together, casually make out in Joey’s office. That’s some good content.

(It also works nicely because I feel like... IDK, I don’t think Jack would just put up with Joey’s Being Joey, I don’t think he’s that much of a pushover. So like, IDK, in this scenario Joey learns to be a bit less of a jerk, maybe things don’t go so bad. Or, I mean. Stares some more at the conspicuous lack of Jack Fain in DCTL. Hmmmmm.) 

...

Also like, this is also good opportunity for a Joey/Sammy/Jack OT3, give Joey the best of both worlds. Jack cares a lot about Sammy, Joey is infatuated with Sammy and slowly grows to understand Jack, Jack helps Sammy and Joey clash slightly less and work together better, etc. It’s a different ship, but also good.

Act III: Okay But What If I Added Some Angst? Eh? Any Takers???

So, first up, consider: this very good post of Jack Fain thoughts by @inkyvendingmachine. Now hear me out:

Jack Fain, who (through whatever nonsense) ended up with his office nice and tucked away in the sewers where he has some peace and quiet. Due to Some Reason, be it poor memory on Joey’s part or unclear instruction when he demanded that the Ink Demon be locked up...

The Ink Demon gets locked away in the Infirmary... but, unbeknownst to Joey, Jack is still in there. Things don’t go well. Joey realises, and...

Well.

Add in some previous Jack/Joey shipping, and Joey suddenly realising what he’s caused, unintentionally or no. Lead that into either Joey losing it and turning to his weird ink nonsense, or Joey going further than he meant in attempt to somehow reverse what he did.

Throw in some additional: Jack is no longer there to help balance out Joey’s Joeyness. He’s also no longer there to help out with Sammy and Joey interactions - a Sammy who can tell something’s happened with Jack, but Joey sure isn’t going to just tell him what happened, and that certainly isn’t helping things here.

...

maybe i put something like that in my requirement au. just a little. its fine. i lov to cause myself pain

[feanorianethicsdepartment]

me two weeks ago: god these headcanons are burning a hole in my brain and there’s no way i can work them all into these fic ideas. i’ll just start up a blog to get them down and -

me now:

... fuck

okay, so with this blog blowing up way out of what i expected its proportions to be, i guess it’s time to introduce myself or something

hi! i’m mitzi, 25, they/them pronouns. i had a pretty active tumblr from early 2014 to mid 2018, when a growing sense of general malaise and a series of increasingly bullshit tumblr updates combined to drive me to give up on my main. i still refuse to redownload the app. i was still intermittently active until the great adult content ban, at which point i left this hellsite for good

fast forward to last autumn, when in the middle of trying and failing to do distance learning i abruptly remembered the silm exists and spent a literal month reading all the fic i missed since i was last in the fandom. over the course of that reading, i naturally began to both remember my old takes and develop some new ones. as it became increasingly obvious that online uni just wasn’t working out for me, i found myself having way too much time to think about terrible headcanons about terrible elves

trouble is, i no longer had a place to put them. twitter just isn’t as conducive to my trademark long rambling meta/fic hybrid posts, and those tend to be a bit slapdash for ao3? i really wanted to interact with the community, so i started planning my own fics, but those take a while to make if you’re me and are incapable of having less than three active projects running at once. for a while i was gonna check out whatever community there is on pillowfort, but then that stopped being an option

then! two-ish weeks ago, in a fit of sleep-deprived ennui, i did what i swore i would never do and made a new tumblr account. i started posting a headcanon a day, just to get them out of my head, but it turns out people like them??? a lot??? and i’m following people, and i’m liking posts on tumblrs i’ve been flicking through since i got back into the fandom, and i’m reblogging stuff, and i’m reluctantly ignoring stuff that doesn’t fit my theme, and oh god i have a tumblr again

so yeah. i’m retrofitting this blog from a strict headcanon dumping ground to a more general fandomblr. i’ll keep posting my headcanons - i’ve still got a ton left, y’all don’t even know about the mobster au yet - but this blog will be less focused around them. will reblog art and fic and stuff. no politics, not because i don’t care but because the world is terrifying and fandom is where i go to not have to think about it. this blog will stay focused on the silm and other tolkien stuff, but i do have other projects and interests, ranging from old-ass speculative fiction to twitch plays pokémon (yes, seriously.) if you want to find me somewhere else, i have a more general twitter, a still-under-construction old jrpg blog, and an ao3 account. don’t have any silm fic on there yet, but i am writing some

anyway, yeah! nice to meet you. gonna update some tags and change my url. i’ll leave you with a snippet from behind the scenes here at dumbfeanorianheadcanons (name change pending)