#i am in awe tbh

[fuckyeahisawthat]

“I don’t think that is what God wants. And I don’t think you want it either.”

This line of Aziraphale’s in the Job minisode keeps sticking out to me. Because this is the heart of the problem, right? This is how Aziraphale can see Crowley so completely and also not at all.

Because yes they suck at open communication and yes it’s because they had to hide their relationship for thousands of years and have so so so much trauma and fear to work through. But ALSO they actually do have a profound difference in how they see the world that keeps coming between them, and it’s not just theoretical but deeply personal to both of them.

Because Aziraphale still wants to believe that God is good. He can’t let go of that because his whole identity is wrapped up in being an angel of the Lord, and if God’s not good then what has he been doing for his entire existence?

And so when bad things are happening he falls back on This cannot be what God wants. The whole of season one, he refuses to believe that God could really want the world to end—even though we now know he knew this was a possibility before the world even started. He keeps going up the chain of command, trying to find someone to intervene. “That’s why I’m going to have a word with the Almighty and then the Almighty will fix it.” As if God doesn’t have all the information or hasn’t been paying attention.

And really, the events of season one reinforce this worldview for him. Because if the Archangel Fucking Gabriel isn’t sure what God wants, then maybe God did want them to stop Armageddon. Maybe it was Aziraphale and Crowley who were doing God’s work after all.

He’s gotten as far as realizing that Heaven’s orders are not the same thing as God’s will, but he still hasn’t detached the concepts of Good and Right from God in his worldview.

Crowley is a good person who does the right thing so he must still be an angel deep down. “I know the angel you were.” The only way Aziraphale can conceptualize Crowley saving Job’s children is, “Come on, you’re a little bit on our [God’s] side.” So Crowley’s fall was a mistake; Crowley belongs in Heaven, where he was so happy before the Fall. Why wouldn’t he want to be an angel again? And yeah maybe Heaven sucks now but God is still good, so there’s hope that the system can be reformed with a change of leadership, and Heaven can be made to actually do good, the way God always intended.

But that’s not how Crowley sees the world at all. He is operating with an entirely different understanding of reality. Because he figured out a long time ago (at least by the time of the Job job, but probably long before that) that you can’t base your sense of morality on what you think God wants. Not just because you don’t know for sure, but because sometimes God’s plans are fucking awful. God in Good Omens is not kind to Her creations. She doesn’t tolerate questions or doubts or disobedience. She’s capricious, turning on the creatures She made and killing a bunch of them when She’s in a bad mood. She punishes indiscriminately and disproportionately. She wagers human lives like gambling chips. The kids were supposed to be dead no matter who won the bet.

I think it’s interesting that Crowley is the one who introduces the idea in season one of “What if the Almighty planned it like this all along? From the very beginning.” That’s probably a comforting thought to Aziraphale, soothing his anxieties about going against Heaven right when he is feeling acute distress at the idea of no longer having a side. (And, in that particular moment, no longer even having a bookshop.)

But it’s not a comforting thought to Crowley. Have you seen what happens when God has a plan for you? It fucking sucks. Woe betide you if you’re the Barbie God decides to play with today. (At bare minimum, you’re coming back with some burn marks and a weird haircut.)

I’ve brought up the line “There are no right people. There’s just God, moving in mysterious ways and not talking to any of us” before, and I tend to focus on the “there are no right people” part. But also, there’s just God.

Aziraphale tends to draw a distinction between God’s will and Heaven’s orders when it suits him, and collapse that distinction when it doesn’t. Crowley almost never differentiates between God and Heaven. There’s just God, and She’s not going to explain why this is happening or listen to pleas for mercy (although Crowley still tries). You can’t trust Heaven or Hell, and you can’t count on God to show up and make everything all right. Sometimes God is in fact the reason that things are not all right. You’re on your own.

(And. Look. Crowley is right on this one. There are certainly aspects of their relationship where they’re both equally responsible for things being a shitshow, but the text is pretty unambiguous about Crowley, a demon, having the most accurate read on the nature of God in the world of Good Omens out of any of the metaphysical characters.)

Crowley rebuilt his entire sense of self, alone, after the Fall. He created himself anew and developed his own moral compass and sense of identity independent of both Heaven and Hell. “The angel you knew is not me.” When Crowley does the right thing, that’s not his angel-ness shining through; that’s just Crowley.

And from a like, trauma recovery point of view, it’s actually very healthy for him to have the realization that sometimes God’s just kind of a dick. He didn’t do anything to deserve getting kicked out of Heaven. None of them did. Just God messing them about because She didn’t like being questioned, or She wanted to see what would happen, or She needed two sides for Reasons and didn’t much care who was on one or the other, or She’s playing some fucked up little game for Her own amusement. (And if there was some Great Plan that required Crowley to fall…well, that is also fucked up. Because it doesn’t matter if there was a reason. It still hurt.)

And while Crowley in general is extremely patient with Aziraphale and his slow, halting journey away from Heaven…it’s gotta sting, every time Aziraphale doesn’t want to believe that God could be cruel, when Crowley is standing right fucking there. It’s gotta hurt when Aziraphale refuses to see something that Crowley knows to be true through his own lived experience. Because it should be enough. What happened to him should be enough to make someone who loves him walk away from Heaven and never look back. And it isn’t.

But of course Crowley is one hundred percent not going to talk about this, if he is even fully self-aware about having these thoughts, because it’s far too painful and vulnerable. (He talks to plants, goats, God, and no one in a bar at the end of the world, but never to Aziraphale.) And so he says “Tell me you said no” and “I think I understand a lot better than you do” because he can’t say Choose me. Just this once, choose me and he can’t say Believe me.

And Aziraphale is not going to think about all this and work it out for himself, because he has a massive lump of denial centered around exactly this thing, that sometimes God hurts people who didn’t do anything to deserve it. I’m sure he’s thought about the Fall in abstract terms, enough to be afraid of it, but not in terms of this is a thing that happened to a person I love. And he has certainly not allowed himself to draw any conclusions about the nature of God from it, because that is far too scary a prospect.

And so they’re stuck. Until they can figure out how to remove this massive landmine from the center of their relationship, they are going to keep having the same fight over and over again, and they’re going to keep hurting each other without fully understanding why.

[strawberri-syrup]

i am frothing at the mouth

[redroomroaving]

Daaaaaaamn this is so freaking cool

-265- by Ilya Popov

[hinamie]

some quick jjk eye paintings

[itwasmagic]

I am what I am 'cause you trained me.       ☆ reblogs are encouraged!

[vowofbrotherhood]

hollow

[hellomagicalsouls]

✨he looks heavenly✨

i am so excited to see this man in action for season 4. it's going to be full one tarot card, séance readings, all round witch shit. which is what i've wanted since day one.

the fashion, the vibe, the pose. beautiful. its giving klaus season one or the closest we'll get to season one.

and klaus season one will always be famous. the jewellery. the background, yes it dingy and grimy but im obsessed. i have way too many feelings on how good he looks.

i would prefer he had his curls but im willing to overlook it for this absolutely impeccable picture.

i am so excited to see him hopefully use his powers and maybe even enjoy using them. still worried about the damn tower tarot card but this. this is everything ive wanted in klaus.

when i think about klaus, this is damn near perfect to what i think. add curls and it is perfect.

[1hellofacookie]

Her job

is...

Beach?

and kissing women

kenjoy

[expectiations]

I still find it funny that people call eleven a "deadbeat husband" and their marriage "toxic" but twelve is the "perfect husband" and their marriage "wedded bliss" all because of the few moments we'd seen between 11 and River were them being "toxic". yes of course! let's ignore how the minisodes show how that description isn't true and even how little moments in the episodes themselves – "what? that's it?" (why haven't you kissed me goodbye? are you being sly on purpose so I'd kiss you first?) and "they wouldn't bury my wife out here" and the music room is the heart of the home and it's not a ghost story, it's a love story – show 11 cared and put in the work and yes, they're going to have disagreements like the ones in TATM because duh who doesn't but it does not mean it is the entirety of their relationship but people have taken it and made it the entirety of their relationship.

[napping-sapphic]

Send me every little selfie you take so that i can look at them whenever i miss you

[vetuhoh]

unfortunately for everyone in the tag, y’all wrote this on one of my posts and I DO in fact draw @lukeslywalkers @padawanduck @dramaticallytrue

[thordy]

[ladyohdeath]

i look inside myself and see 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 i see my red door, i must have it 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤

#LADYOHDEATH. an independent, highly selective & PRIVATE writing blog for R.IO V.IDAL / 𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇. 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐄𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄. written and loved by jinx (28). adults only allowed to follow as mature themed are ahead! 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄-𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐘. lover of female ocs. 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐜𝐮.

[ef-1]

burn your village | female rage playlist

[puretopia]

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

Cullen (taking lyrium): I am bound to the Inquisition. I will serve until I am no longer needed.

Cullen: I always wanted to be a templar, to protect people. After Ferelden, I served out of fear… and because I was compelled. I thought if I removed the part that kept me chained, I would find my own purpose again. There are templars who have been through worse. Once your sacrifices are made, is there no end? Are you leashed until the day you die, or lyrium takes your mind away?

Cassandra: Mages have made their suffering known, but templars never have. They are bound to the Order, mind and soul, with someone always holding their lyrium leash. Cullen has a chance to break that leash, to prove to himself—and anyone who would follow suit—that it’s possible.

i see the words 'bound' 'chained' and 'leash' and black out and start barking