#i am in TEARS over them
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someone just posted this quote and it just hit me that it wasn’t that nobody loved xie lian after knowing how far he’d fallen and everything he’d done. it was xie lian who was too terrified to lean on them and share what he was going through, or he tried and they didn’t have the full context to understand him, and it just made xie lian feel more alone which made him push them away even more. he had feng xin and mu qing the whole time and they never ever stopped loving him even when they saw him falter and fail. and it wasn’t that hua cheng was unique in loving him anyway but it was hua cheng that happened to be present for all of xie lian’s worst moments and none of it made him love xie lian any less, and hua cheng is not the exception to the rule but the proof that xie lian was always loveable and always deserving and always loved despite despite despite. and after finding hua cheng he opens his heart up to his friends once again and accepts their love back into his life when he had shut it all out for centuries. i am in TEARS rn when i said i can’t think about feng xin and mu qing this is one of the reasons why
#tgcf#tgcf meta#meta stuff#fengqing#xianle trio#yelling is a love language#idk i just came across something someone posted on twitter and saw this quote#and it just SENT ME#i still just cannot think about fengqing ok ok ok my asexual ass can’t handle it#they loved xie lian so much both of them did and they never stopped#all those arguments. hundreds of years of anger. all that rage just misplaced grief. which was just love with nowhere to go.#i am in TEARS over them
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the doctor telling the story of how he had a friend and they used to run together when they were boys but they grew up so different and missy saying she wants her friend back 😭😭😭😭
#i am in tears over them#literally#doctor who#me watching doctor who#the doctor and the master#doctor who 8x12#death in heaven
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I have a lot of leftover drawings in my gallery. [Blank Scripts AU]
[Content Warning: Images below contain Gore, Death, and Disturbing/Uncomfortable Imagery]
I find it a bit cute knowing they start out as crazy and then slowly settle into something calmer and relatively healthier after learning to adapt to each other's lust-turned-love. [Stanley did it first but hey :3]
#tsp blank scripts au#they love each other [genuinely] theyd rather die if theyre to go without each other by this point#hhmmm I hope the last few images arent too damning#These two go through a lot during the progression of their relationship#and I wanted to showcase that yknow?#theyre demented but theyre just perfect for each other kind of way#lovingly tearing each other apart and rebuilding each other to do it over and over again#repeating this dull process of endings over and over and finding ways to keep themselves entertained#this place was never even meant to be fun#but now that theyve gotten entangled with each other#they cant help but want to play around#even if its just for a little bit?#work can continue later right?#they love each other a little bit too much they actually need to be put in a separate cage#like a spider and a praying mantis#is it painful? yes. is it fun? also yes. do they like doing it only to each other and nobody else? YES.#their psych is genuinely so fun to explore and dissect#I had a lot of fun making these despite how deranged they look#something about them.... it drives both to do things they would never even consider doing to anybody else... but towards each other#you know what i mean? or am i just yapping nonsense again.#horror#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tsp#tspud#tsp au#tsp narrator#narrator tsp#stanley tsp#tsp stanley
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Echo’s world has gone decidedly… wobbly. Blurry. Fuzzy at the edges, and what-will-you-else. He can’t feel his fingertips, is his first thought. Kriffing overdid it on the glowing green shots, is his second.
“Holy kriff, Echo, that manhole-cover underneath you is moving!”, Fives exclaims, third. Or more like slurs into Lt. Jesse’s shoulder, who is himself moaning indistinctly into the Captain’s pauldron, who is in turn swaying back and forth gesturing at Commander Cody.
And it really is - the manhole cover, that is, once Echo stumbles off it with a shriek. Jumping up into the now open air with sudden force, steadying and then scraping across paveme-
“Are those kriffing hands?!”
In an instant, seven highly drunk pairs of fists and one blaster, courtesy of Commander Cody (the only one present who’s sober enough to be legally handling it) are aimed in a circle around the cover slowly being shuffled to the side, then the hands reaching up to palm at the edges of the hole -
- and are slowly being lowered again when two white-red painted helmets are heaved into view, along with chest-deep groaning and grunting. Two armored Corries collapse in a heap at Commander Cody’s feet, who stares down at them in open-mouthed shock.
Slowly, Echo blinks. Slowly, he raises a hand to snap his fingers in front of his face. No, still there. Slowly, Fives grabs for a piece of flank underneath his blacks and twists. Echo yelps, and slaps his hand away hard enough to hurt himself. “OI!”
“B’have, boys”, Captain Rex makes a brave attempt to slur out as he sways on his feet, still staring down at the trembling heap of armor at their feet. Whoa, Echo didn’t know they had those kinds of funky armor designs in the Guard. Very avant-garde.
“That’s blood, Ey’ika”, says Appo.
Oh.
Slowly, Hardcase raises his right foot, inching towards-
“Don’t even think about it”, Commander Cody snaps, and Hardcase’s foot whips back to the ground next to its companion. Fives chortles. “Yeah, genius, those are Commander kamas - they’d put you down in a second flat!”
“Why would two Corrie Commanders go crawling out of holes in front of 79’s, huh, genius?!”, Hardcase retorts, somewhat justly, Echo feels. Next to him, Commander Cody frowns, and kneels carefully. “Good question, trooper. Fox, can you hear me? Fox’i-“
Which is when one of the bodies - Commander Fox, Echo realizes with a shudder, The Marshall Commander Fox - convulses on the ground, and an arm rears up to nail Cody face-first with the back of a hand, sending him sprawling back into the pavement with an undignified squawk.
“Thorn”, the sad figure that is the highest decorated clone in existence groans, still faceplanted into pavement, “Thorn, I’m hallucinating Cody. Thorn, tell him to shut up.”
“Shuddup”, Commander Thorn heaves, loyally. Cody makes an affronted noise, braced back on his shebs. “Sdubid Codeh.”
Commander Fox’s visor scrapes against the ground with his nod, a sound that sends the surrounding vod’e cringing. “Yeah, you go, Thorn. You’re my favorite.” A considering pause. “Oh, kark. I need to call in medevac - Fox to Stabby, Fox to Stabby - the kriffing Narglatches are back on the lower levels.”
The Commander’s comm crackles to life, as he heaves himself over with a punched-out moan - oh, yup, that dark patch’s definitely not paint, and are those teeth marks?! On plastoid??
“I’m going to wring Senator Hliii’s neck, and then I’m going to twist him into a human kriffing meat-lasso to catch every last one of his little pets with”, sounds through Fox’s comm, who just hacks out a laughcough in response. “Pinging your location now. Where’s Thorn?”
“Pr’snt”, slurs Thorn.
“Concussed”, adds Fox, “We crawled out forty levels to behind 79’s, so no one would see us.”
Awkward silence follows.
“Uh, about that”, begins Rex, only to be interrupted by a deep groan from Fox.
“Oh, you’ve got to be kriffing kidding me! As if Cody’s ugly mug wasn’t - WHAT THE KRIFF ARE YOUR KRIFFING ARC KARKHEADS DOING IN MY HALLUCINATION, REX?!”
“Shuddup, Rex”, Thorn moans bravely.
#sw tcw#commander fox#commander thorn#commander cody#captain rex#tcw fives#tcw echo#tcw jesse#tcw hardcase#tcw kix#tcw appo#fox is very annoyed by the news that he miscalculated sewer exits by two alleys#‘out of my way kote’ he says and drags thorn two alleys over#why didn’t he kill the narglatches you wonder? so does cody#cody. cody. sweet cody. am i sentient? asks fox. no? are the narglatches classified as protected animals? yes? then what the kriff#do you think they’ll do to the non sentient military weapon that murdered a pack of protected creatures in the middle of coruscant?#good talk#NO screams cody HORRIBLE TALK ACTUALLY. VERY BAD NO GOOD HORRIBLE TALK#you’re delirious from blood loss fox. your vitals are concerning fox. pah. tell me something i don’t know#i love you and am worried ahout you fox says cody#….motherkriffer whispers fox through tears#and that’s how cody and rex fix coruscant once they get fox to a medbay with bacta and recover from ‘their’ hangover#stabby not only sends them foxs full unredacted medical file but also speederload of handcuffs and industrial rope#to keep him contained he says with a smile#rex and cody slowly inch back#thorn is fine don’t worry <3#he does keep telling various people to shut up on the way to being fine tho#obi wan thinks it’s hilarious#anakin thinks it’s very confusing#no i don’t know what this is either bear with me i’m not sleeping lmao
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Emmet month - Day 4: Memories
though Ingo may be gone, he'll never be forgotten
#submas#subway bosses#subway boss ingo#subway boss emmet#subway boss nobori#subway boss kudari#gym leader elesa#nimbasa trio#monthofemmet#my art#whew i am 4 days late ;;#anyway i let myself keep this one much MUCH less refined (as hard as it was to do that slkgj)#also bringing back the kid submas designs i did a looooong time ago#like them as young trainers that one#anyway of course i choose to do something sad with this one hehe#emmet sitting all alone in his apartment looking through old photo albums ;-;#gettin' tear stains all over the pages
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EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOURE DOING RIGHT FUCKING NOW
EVERYBODY SHUT UP IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the teru & reigen virus can attack at any time.#over the most miniscule things at that.#IVE CONSIDERED THE POSSIBILITY OF THEM BOTH LIKING IT BEFORE. BECAUSE OF REIGEN’S. TASTE IN MOVIES#BUT. AHHHHH!!!!! HAHGHHHGHG!!!!!!!!!!!#its REAL#teru finding reigen’s fdp poster. barely restraining his overjoyed wonder that someone else enjoys something niche he enjoys#teru in his most normalest voice ever: oh wow you like this movie too? what a coincidence! [jittering so bad he might burst]#the teru&reigen movie lineup must he INSANE#be*#i need to make a fic right now (is about to go to sleep)#the possibilities. (<-is insane and crazy and insatiable)#flashback to the flying dead pig comic. tear streaks down cheek#I COULD SENSE THE ENERGY FROM A MILE AWAY. CANNOT HIDE FROM ME#i think reigen would enjoy having someone to talk crappy movies with. but teru would genuinely love them i think so reigen would have to#tread lightly while speaking about them#reigen: yeah the direction in this movie was totally messy#teru concealing biggest saddest frown ever: it is just creative. you dont know a goddamn thing#reigen would not hide his truths [emoji] but he would pity the boy#teru&reigen seventeen hour discussion about old obscure movies (NO SURVIVORS RITSU CAUGHT IN THE BLAST AND KILLED)#im sick#i also love how this trivia is worded. its very deliberate if you get what i mean#‘[muttering out of side of mouth] also..if you didnt know…..’#its a fun piece of factoid to share. and i. i really. im im teally. i jsut . i am telaly gals thhat they worded it aaid ltit like thaey did.#THIS IS SUXH NOTHINGBURGER. IM SORRY#dude this is why i have the teru reigen family album. im desperate for the smallest of morsels. just a CRUMBBB PLEAAASE#GHHAHAHEHEHAJA !!!!! HHHRHEGEGAHAHS S AAWWHHHH AHHHHBABHAHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH!!! RRRRAGHSHHAAAGAGEGGEHHRHRH#mob psycho 100#mp100#teruki hanazawa#reigen arataka
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I LOVE Teen Stan and Ford, it’s sad they don’t get drawn enough, so thank you so much!
Does Ford ever help Stan when he gets overstimulated? Or maybe when he has a rage response and suddenly starts crying and calls himself stupid?
Here's the other post with Ford
#I am once again asking someone to write me a fic about these two posts. pretty please 🥺#this took me way too long to think off#the dialogue was escaping me#if you can guess what the book he's reading is... you won't win anything I just think it would be cool#maybe Stan got upset about his grades. or a boxing match ir something#sometimes I too bite myself. not deep enough to draw blood but enough to bruise. it's gotten better over the tears but still#now and then...#anywayszzzzzzzz#ask#anonymous#gravity falls#stan pines#stanley pines#stanford pines#ford pines#teen stan#teen ford#art#fanart#traditional art#watercolor#the last few drawings came out so nicely#both of them are emotionally constipated in their teen years (and onwards honestly) so instead of addressing the crying they ignore it#they pretend it never happened#btw here you can see my (successful) attempt at putting Ford out of the picture so I don't have to draw more#comic#long post#look at their socks#I forgot the 's' in 'books' I'm so stupid god
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Thought of Izuku falling from the sky and Katsuki catching him and them clinging to each other as they land/hit the ground.
Izuku starting to process everything and saying that he couldn't save Tomura but he may have reached Tenko? Also btw I think I'm quirkless, now, Kacchan, OFA is gone, I let it go...
Katsuki soothing him in an adrenaline high, breathy way, you did your best, you did your best, you're still a hero Izuku, you're the best GD hero around...
And then as everyone in 1a starts to descend on them in celebration, Katsuki literally fucking growling at them to give Izuku some space and some air, DONT FUCKING CROWD HIM!
And someone (probably Kirishima or Kaminari) complaining that HES THE ONE holding Izuku so desperately as if he'd disappear.
Katsuki telling that person to fuck off and squeezing his grip on Izuku as Izuku clings to him.
Izuku silently sobbing into Katsuki and not being able to tell which emotion the tears are from, because there are just so many.
#bakudeku#bnha spoilers#im hoping....#manifesting.....#please give us a soft moment i am SO BEGGING#hori i am outside your window with a boombox#in the rain#tears down my face#pls give them ONE MOMENT#bkdk#bakugou katsuki#izuku midoriya#the thought of katsuki being feral and protrctive of izuku the second this is over gives me LIFE#i may expand on this later#we will see
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I saw @qourmet's young madam lan art, and knew what I had to do.
#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan furen#horse#we need to name her horse IMMEDIATELY#Qingheng-Jun#She is stunning and beautiful and the design has me in a death grip#AND she's a horse girl? It was not even and option to not draw her.#Lan wangji has to get his biting and tearing and killing genes from somewhere.#Its maternal. He inherited the hunting instinct from his mother and an attraction to people who do crimes from his father#btw if yall haven't seen them; All of qourmet's prev generation designs are *so* good. I have genuinely gotten brainrot over CSSR and WCZ.#On every god that exists I WILL find a way to have them show up in the pd-mdzs comic canon. I've already scripted the comics. Its happening#Also it's been too long since I drew an equine. Why are there not *more* equines in MDZS. This is why I had to make the equineswap au.#I''m still not sure how a horse works. but I'm getting there.#Slowly I am creeping towards the necessary skill set I need to draw Qiyan Agula.#JQWS audio drama....I am gazing at you so fondly. I will return to you with power and strength (better comic skills to draw you)#we are a long way away but...that's the dream project.
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there really is a little evil part of me that loves it, when people don’t get over me. aww you’re still hung up on me after years of being apart? poor baby boy. i’m soo sorry that you feel like i’m irreplaceable and like you’ll never find anyone you can feel small and vulnerable and loved and at home with anymore. now, say. it. again.
#mostly i want past loves to get over it ofc because i don’t want them to suffer and just be happy again#but the sadist in me?#oh yeah no she is gleeful that you now realised what a gread thing you fucked up#and how desperately you miss the time and treatment#thank you for recognising how amazingly i treated you and what a dream of a girlfriend and dom i was#and no you’re not getting it back#but please go on about how it tears you apart how great i am#it’s at least a little bit of recompense for the heartbreak you caused me
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In order to fully understand why it was so hard for Mike to express how deeply he loves El, and why his speech at the end of season 4 was one of the biggest, most important moments for his entire character, we need to look at not just who Mike is as a person, but also everything that has happened since he met her.
Every single time he opens up his heart to her, something horrible happens to her or she's taken away from him almost immediately afterwards.
1x08; he's an awkward little ball of feelings that are way too big for a boy so young. He makes a nervous attempt at confessing and asking her out on a date; when he can't find words that she'll understand, swoops in for a kiss instead. She lights up immediately and smiles. It's a brief moment of hope and pure happiness. Maybe they can have some semblance of a normal life and be normal kids after this is all over.
Minutes later, all hell breaks loose-- they're almost shot, El pushes herself too far until she can barely move, she's almost taken away by the Bad Men, the Demogorgon appears, and she uses the very last of her strength to sacrifice herself to save him and their friends.
He has to watch helplessly as she disappears.
He spends a year caught between believing she's dead and hoping she's still out there somewhere (but if she is alive then why won't she talk to him anymore...?). Kept silent under threat by the lab, he can't confide in anyone or even acknowledge her existence, not with anyone except those involved... but everyone else is keen on moving on and pretending it never happened. He can find some solidarity in Will, at least, who is in a similar kind of emotional turmoil... but it's not the same and it's not enough.
2x9; he is finally reunited with El, and she runs into his arms like she missed him too. She tells him that all those nights he called out to her, she heard him; she was there reciprocating his feelings the whole time.
In a burst of emotions that he's been forced to suppress for an entire year, he lashes out at the reason they've been kept apart (Hopper), screaming and sobbing. It's a massive catharsis for him, and for once an adult is understanding enough to hold him and not punish him for it.
Minutes later, she is going to go headfirst into a pit of monsters, the place where Mike had just firsthand witnessed dozens of people (if not more) get ripped to shreds only hours earlier, and she is going to attempt to close the Gate-- a feat that he knows may take every ounce of her power, just like last time. He cries. He can't lose her again. She promises he won't, and before she can seal that promise with a kiss, they're pulled apart again.
He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.
3x1; all seems to be okay now. He and El are happily together, and he feels comfortable enough to be playful, romantic, and intimate with her. It's the most emotionally open we've ever seen Mike thus far.
For reasons he can't understand (bc there's no way Hopper explained himself beyond "I'm in charge so do as I say or else"), Hopper is angry about it and threatens to never allow him to see her again: the one thing he fears most.
He panics big time and fucks it up in the process by lying to her. During a frantic attempt to apologize while also abiding by Hopper's rules, he runs into her at the mall. He panics again-- if anyone finds her here, and knows that he was here too, it's all over, and Hopper surely won't hear reason. El dumps him cold on the spot, spurred on by Max and her rebellious attitude (and without any context of course). He isn't given much opportunity to respond. He knows he's in the wrong for lying to her, so what could he even say...?
He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.
It's a hard blow, and he retreats back into himself, unable to get any joy out of playing D&D (which he clearly hasn't lost interest in), back to the deadpan sarcasm and accidentally snapping a little too harshly at anyone whom he feels would take El's place.
3x6; no one seems to understand the danger El is putting herself in. Everyone is berating him for worrying about her safety. He's seen firsthand what these monsters do to people, he's seen firsthand how El pushes her abilities too far. No one is listening.
The words "I love her and I can't lose her again" burst out in his desperation, perhaps before he's even had a chance to realize how deep those feelings run, despite whatever protective walls he's tried to build around his heart to keep it from getting broken again.
Soon after, all hell breaks loose. El is nearly killed several times over, her leg is ripped open, she pushes herself so hard that she breaks herself and loses her powers completely. Her father is taken from her. She's shattered by all of this, and there's absolutely nothing he could do or say to make it better.
She tells him that when he admitted he loves her, she heard him, and indeed she loves him, too... But now she's leaving.
He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.
4x1; they've been apart for a few months, and write letters back and forth to each other. El's letters paint a picture of an ideal new life: she and the Byers family are doing well; she's starting school and it's going well; she's made new friends, she likes her new home, everything is going well. She seems to be thriving. She sounds happy, maybe even happier than she had been living in Hawkins. Maybe Max was right, maybe she's better off being her own person without him, and maybe the respectful thing to do is step back... It's a small insecurity that creeps up subconsciously. In his replies he holds back, afraid of clinging too hard.
Though there's little logic in it, he's afraid that if he tells her he loves her again, another disaster might strike and this lovely happy life she's finally found might get taken from her. After all, that's what always seems to happen when he does.
4x2; after months of waiting, they can finally see each other again. He wears her favorite colors, picks a handful of flowers for her, and falls happily back into step with how they used to be. Soon that same day, however, reality becomes clear and the facade crumbles. People he was told were her friends show up to torment and publicly humiliate her. She had been lying. She isn't happy here, she hasn't healed, she is right at the edge of a breaking point that he doesn't see coming at all. He can't believe she would lie to him, she's not the kind of person to lie... especially not about something like bullying, something that she was always so understanding about with him.
On that logicless subconscious level, he wonders if it's all his fault-- he should have known somehow, he should have been there for her. She protected him from his bullies, he should have protected her from hers. He tries to come to her rescue. She runs away from him.
He's helpless to save her, again.
4x3; after a night to process everything that happened-- and deciding that the betrayal he feels from her lying to him is nothing compared to the turmoil she must be going through right now-- Mike approaches her in the gentlest way possible, wanting to listen and trying to understand. El, however, isn't receptive at all to his attempts at reassurance. She is at an all-time low, she's given up. She believes she is unlovable, irredeemable, a monster, just a thing that doesn't even have those superhuman abilities to compensate anymore. Mike can't believe what he's hearing-- doesn't she know that she's always been so much more than her powers? She's always been so much more than what she lacks in quote-unquote "normalcy"... None of those things matter, they have absolutely no bearing on whether she's worthy of being loved, because he loves her, completely regardless of any of these things. He always has...
El starts flinging his restrained words back at him, the products of his insecurity and trauma-induced fear. That fear takes hold yet again, and he stumbles, afraid of saying too much or not enough, because surely both could result in pushing her away-- she's retreating, hearing none of it; nothing he tries to say consoles her.
Moments later, local police come knocking. She's taken away in cuffs, and she's so broken inside that she won't even look at him when he chases the police car down the street and promises he'll get her out somehow...
Once again, he has to watch helplessly as she drives away.
4x8/4x9; after days of driving through the heat and dryness of southwest desert, having narrowly escaped being shot at with military-grade assault rifles, witnessing the death of and burying a man whose last words were that El is in danger... After watching dozens of people get mowed down by a sniper in a helicopter, and watching that same helicopter be smashed into the ground in a ball of flames...
There she is. Just as powerful and beautiful and alive as she's ever been. When he runs to her and embraces her, she looks at him like she can't believe he's real. She's beaming a smile right from her soul and it's like all the insecurity and self-doubt that have plagued them both just vanish from existence now that they're in each other's arms again.
Like always, however, the universe comes crashing down soon after. Max is marked for a gruesome death and all of Hawkins is in danger. They're miles away and helpless, and the only possible way for El to save everyone is if she goes in alone. She's stronger than ever, but so is her foe. Once again, she descends to face all the demons of hell on her own, and Mike can't do anything.
She's losing. She's choking. She's dying. He's helpless.
He must be cursed. He must be. Being with her, loving her, allowing himself to admit he loves her, it always brings only pain and suffering and loss. His heart is so full that it's aching, it's bursting out of his chest, and he can't contain it any longer.
She's going to die and it's going to be all his fault, because he fell in love, and it's cursed her.
Just before it all crumbles into utter despair, the earnest support from his oldest and dearest friend-- one who's always shared and understood his feelings of helplessness-- sparks a light of hope in him: "You're the Heart." You're not helpless. You can save her.
The words that come spilling out of Mike's mouth are truer than any he's ever dared to speak before, and it's the most terrified he's ever been, but he has enough courage for this moment. Despite all of the fears that have been building, stifling, choking him to death for years-- fears that the light of his life will inevitably disappear again, and there's nothing he can do to stop it-- despite it all, he pours out his heart to her.
He loves her. He's always loved her. He loves everything she ever was, is, and could be. He can't imagine a world without her in it. She saved him, in every way a person can be saved. And he needs her to live. He believes in her.
And it works. It's music to her ears.
#stranger things#mileven#mike x el#mike wheeler#mine#mileven fuels my soul#'you can only have 30 photos at a time in one post' alright fuck you tumblr#had to collage the first set to fit everything in lol#but ohhh godddd i am so emotional about this dude#he doesnt struggle to say it because he has doubts. its not about whether or not he has feelings for her.#it is 100000% his own personal struggle with himself and his traumas#grabbing screenshots for that last scene though. GOD i was in tears AGAIN#SOMEBODY give Finn every goddamn award under the sun for that performance#the way his VOICE BREAKS!! he sounds so SCARED and VULNERABLE but also so COMPLETELY EARNEST#'i don't know how to live without you' in particular#i will never get over this ever in my whole life tbh#it was so beautiful#also i need there to be more discussion about the parallels between mike's and hopper's internal struggles#because it is almost exactly the same.#the black hole analogy... 'they didnt need me. i needed them. i'm not cursed I am the curse'#like... biggest of ouches#okie dokie ive spat my bars and dropped the mic now its time for B E D#edit days later: i very much regret not brightening the images. goddamn its dark af here
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Jean and Neil devastate me and here’s why
Jean and Neil are a promised pair. In a million ways, they are meant exist as two sides to the same coin, and even in the face of the fact that this promise has been broken, they are too alike for anyone to ever disregard the possibility of what if.
Neil Josten, is nothing. Jean Moreau, is nothing more than what he is.
Neil and Jean are mouthy players with an attitude problem and a debilitating wariness of adult figures. They are French-speaking menaces whose background muzzles them and turns them into liars. They are sold property whose singular source of familial love has been killed by a world of crime that they had no part in. Neil and Jean are young men whose survival instinct have been warped by the abuse they’ve suffered—men who think that their survival is a tenuous, fragile figment that will one day escape them.
Jean and Neil, who encountered the green-eyed boy with the number two on his face and found the will to survive. Who aren’t allowed to look at others that way but who find themselves beholden to a stubborn blond and somehow manage their slow trek out of hell. Jean and Neil, who needed each other to survive during their brief and tumultuous partnership in the Nest. Jean and Neil, who are owned by the same family under a new master, but are learning that the confines of their cage are farther than they’d ever imagined.
You look at them and you think, what would they have been like as a true pairing? We read between the lines to understand their careful and begrudging fraternity, and we take these small moments between them as a way to glimpse into whatever complex knot of connection they’ve amassed between each other.
But Neil was saved by a mother’s love, and Jean had been leashed too tightly to be spared half a decade of despair. Jean and Neil are the picture of what the other could have been, in an alternate life, and in this way, their connection slides into place in an unspoken, irrefutable way.
Jean says, I want to go Home, and Neil, who has learned what Home means to people like them, would evade the cops a little longer, piss off the Moriyamas a little more, if it meant offering Jean that sliver of peace.
There is so much potential between Neil and Jean, but it can never be fully realized. They were both a part of a broken Perfect Court, and it will always be the thing that both binds them and divides them.
#I am now finished with finals and read this immediately. I am rabid over everyone and them especially#I cannot fucking believe this book had me tearing up over sportsman-like conduct in a sport that doesn’t even exist#I don’t even gaf abt sports like that#aftg#the sunshine court#neil josten#jean moreau#all for the game#the foxhole court#jeremy knox#kevin day
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lukerosa arts (SHOCKING I KNOW)
#tears of themis#luke pearce#lukerosa#i am genuinely so insane over them lately#im trying to push my limits to bring my brainworms into artwork for the lukerosa nation to witness#IM STILL SO SAD AB ROSA NOT APPEARING IN HIS 4TH BDAY ART BUT ITS OK...I UNDERSTAND...#it feels so empty without her </3#but also glad to see luke more :`)#i just think 3rd bday evo cannot be topped it was so warm n heartwarming and lighthearted and wholesome aaaaaa#AND THE CONTEXT BEHIND ROSA SMOOCHIN HIS CHEEKS?? FDHJNGKDJGDF#anyways that card is GODLIKE i legit cannot wait until next tuesday i feel like im gonna die.#RAMBLING
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(...but what if I was?)
Li Lianhua / Li Xiangyi | Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023)
#mysterious lotus casebook#li lianhua#li xiangyi#lhl#my mlc gifs#thanks to the folks who helped weigh in on that last gif!#specifically thank you to:#the-surreptitious-albatross#lianxiaojie#and an apology...#to our dear a-fei#for including him in this gifset#I still believe that the feihua relationship is one of the most devastating tragedies of this show#because of the way that di feisheng grows subtly but significantly over the course of the show#and he comes SO CLOSE to loving and accepting llh/lxy for who he is and who he always was#and maybe he in fact DOES get to this point internally#but his last words to llh are inviting him to fight him like times of old#showing (in llh's eyes at least) a regression to their previous selves#a “self” that maybe llh feels he never actually was#which is why I specifically wanted a feihua scene in that last gif to juxtapose with the more obvious shan gudao scene#the subtext of that feihua scene is very sexy of them (I am looking disrespectfully)#but the text of the scene is brutal and tragic:#as di feisheng violently lashes out at li lianua for his perceived weaknesses#and while llh's initial reaction was at most faintly irritated up until that point#you can see that spark of genuine hurt and sadness in his gaze as dfs holds him at arms length#anyway this has been “things about mlc that make me want to tear my hair out at 3AM”#thank you for coming to my ted talk
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He's simply the sweetest
#bad omens#nick folio#he's so baby#you ever think about how he's spent all of his adulthood with them so far#or am I the only one shedding tears over that ?
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me after learning it's now canon that the tweels have violent sibling fights and therefore the headcanon is finally proven true:
#meraki mumbles#I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT OTL#you can't give me two deep-sea predators and then expect them to *not* beat the life out of each other when they're livid#they do not fall back on the human ways of dealing with anger#they can tear each other to shreds!!!! they're terrifying when they're angry and fighting!!!!#floyd saying their fights can sometimes get so serious it risks both of their lives...#i am so ill about this fact >_<#imagining the both of them fighting over you AAAAAA orz#i love my murder eels <3
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