#i am holding his giant fucking hand as we SPEAK

[onemillionfurries]

IM SO FUCKING AUTISTIC GOD I LOVE DR BALDHEAD SO FUCKING MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AUUUUGGGHHHHHH

[styxwanderer]

The Wrong Fake Identity | Twisted Wonderland |

[you turn into a cat beastman because of crowley being an ass]

<Part 1> Part 2 part 3 Part4 part 5 part 6 part 7

<Please ignore my grammar mistake as i do not speak English as my mother language, thank you and please enjoy!>

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*

"Due to the covered overblot incidents occurring in Night Raven College, the government of each island is requesting an inspecting, but you as somebody that originated from none of these islands are unrecorded by the government. Grim is fine because he can be disguise as a familiar but you, oh, what ever shall we do." Crowley spoke, hand on his check as if he was the most miserable person in the world. The person standing infront of him, the most respected and admired student from NRC. Managing to capture hearts and admiration since the incidents with the overblots stand still. 

"When will this be?"

"Tomorow morning."

The enthusiastic tone contras to the alerting news. 'Why didn't you tell me sooner you OLD CROWW!' you screeched in your head. you had been called to headmaster office as he give his revelation. You wished Grim is here with you and blasting the old crow with whatever insult that come to his mind, but he chooses to bail on you, opting to wait on the now cozy ramshackle dorm you both share. 

A bit of panic did manage to etch to your mind because you don't want any of them to take you away from your friends. "What do you propose?" 

"Simple, you will be locked away hidden in the cottage island you found near that ca-"

" Fuck no." 

" -or you accept this envelope I had gracefully taken time to buy with my own money and try your best to act accordingly. Oh, how good of a person am I."

" Why do you even suggest the first, when you'd had gotten me a fake id?" his shenanigans starting to irk you. you could even feel a vein popping out.

" For the drama of course. then after this go to sam to get your photo taken for the id"

you sigh as you opened the envelope containing your passport and id. 

" Headmage.."

"yes?"

" What the fuck is thisss?" you point of the id specifically on the species where a bold letter is etched on it.

"beastman?"

"Ah did i get the wrong one? oo.. oohohoo, my bad.. but it's too late for a chance now. Oh, look at the time, it has gotten so late! you better get to Sam now before he closes his shop. The inspection is tomorrow so good luck!" he pushed you out of his office and slam his door on your face.

' THE FUCKING AUDACITY OF THIS BITCH ! ILL PICK YOUR FEATHERS TILL YOU GO BALD OLD Crow' you grumbled as you begrudgingly make your way to Sam. 

Save to say, at the end of the day you left Sam anticipating the next day chaos and you are left with the illegally obtained transforming potion and a complete id and passport. Grim is laughing nonstop at the revelation enjoying whatever torture that will come to you the day after. 

Crowley had been cursed at least a hundred times in your head. you drank the potion to change you into a beastman as you fall asleep.

" i wonder what beastman you will become." Grim said as you both nuzzled up to sleep.

The morning come sooner than you wished, the lights blinding you awake. 

"God dammit when did the sun get shinier"

you went to scratch your ears only to find it gone. This had made you jolt awake, bolting to the giant mirror you go, accidentally waking Grim in process. 

"UWAAA!! what's the rush y/n?" Grim sleepily asked.

The mirror reflects your new figure, and you could only be one thing, and that is MORTIFIED. 

you screeched in distress. 

" WAAA!! what's your damage dude." Grim spoke now fully awake as he went to approach you who are crouching holding your new ears.

" i... I had become..."

" NYAHAHAHAHAHA!!! out of all beasts you have to become a cat! i can't wait till Ace and Deuce sees this!!!" His loud laugher filled the room. You don’t even know there is such thing as a cat beastman. You had thought all beastman is the undomesticated version of every animal, yet here you are in a tip pointed ears of not a wolf, not a lion but a GOD DAMN CAT. Your tail swishing in distress.

"Just you wait Grim, once you have a misfortune, I'll laugh it up your face!!" your retort went on deaf ears as he kept laughing

Poor you can only power through the embarrassment, not at all excited to meeting any of your friends. 'They're gonna have a fieldtrip about all of thisss' you cried. 

a brilliant idea come to mind, you decided to just go class with a hat and tuck your tail hiding it under your jacket. wishing the day had not start but ended. 

from your understanding back in your world, you know how many sickfucks is there obsessing over cat girls/boys. you hope today is different. please lord. 

<*>

the bell has rung signing students to enter the classrooms, that includes you in a hat and jacket to hide the transformation. Ace and deuce spotted you as you entered the class.

" Yo! y/n! what's with the hat and jacket?" Ace greeted you as you went to your usual seat. 

" aren't you hot in all of that layer?" deuce followed

" Listen, Y/n got --" 

in a speed of light, you quickly grab his muzzle shutting whatever information u rather not share with this mischievous creature.

" If you don't shut up, I won't buy you the premium tuna can anymore!" you huffed. 

"no fairrr!!" Grim whined 

the conversation was cut short as crewel entered the building

“Right, pups, get to your seat. Today we will have an inspection authorized by the governments since there is several overblots that occurred in this past month.”

“What? Why did they just tell us now?” Ace questioned

 The whole class was shocked by the revelation. 

“quite pups, as your homeroom teacher I expect you to be on your best behaviour. Now –“  crewel stopped in his track as he stared at your soul. 

‘Professor Crewel, please let go of my uniform misconduct, just this time.”

“y/n I believe the headmage had given you solution for this inspection, you would not need the whatever disguise you are wearing.”

“ uhm.. no this is not a disguise actually--”

“As I mentioned, there would be a inspection so I cannot oversee your uniform misconduct. Now take it of.”

You were sweating bullets. ‘FUCK!’ your head is ringing with alarm. You don’t know what to do so you just sat still. Crewel started to approach you.

“oi, what’s the big deal y/n c’mon he is getting mad!” Ace said

“They might have an allergy reaction to their head! Deuce chimed.

‘ thanks, but not helping deuce!!’ you mentally shriek as crewel is now standing Infront of you. 

“ now stop with this tom-foolery, I expected better from you.” He reached for your hat.

“AH! Wait-”

Crewel had yanked the hat off showcasing your cat ear. 

The silence before the collective gasp makes you want to curl up in your blanket. 

“PUWHAHAHAHHAH!!! You can’t even be a legit legit beastman !! ” Ace laughter break the silence as you flush in both anger and embarrassment. 

“ Pfftt, Domisticated beastman..” deuce joined in.

“ SHUT UP!!”

Crewel cleared his throat gaining an abrupt silence from the Adeuce duo, tapping his whipping stick repeatedly. 

“explain..”

“ Headmage, Crowley-“

“ haaaaaa, show me the id and passport.”

You quickly took them out of your bag and place them on your desk as he inspect both of them. 

“HAAAAA… unfortunately I still cannot allow you in that atrocious get up, so remove your jacket and hat” he signed loudly again, engraving in his mind to kill the old crow, after all you are always his favourite students, how could that crow torture you so relentlessly. Maybe if he get to give you the adoption paper this crow wouldn’t dare to mess with you anymore?

You sigh, relenting to your fate. Any speck of pride you have over yourself vanished. As you let your tail swish free. 

Ace is trying hard not to laugh over your embarrassed red faced. But honestly both are just captivated by your new look. The way your ears twitch and your red face, the way your new feature give you a docile look. Both ace and deuce suddenly find their textbook or the corner of the room fascinating as their face are getting darker.

These reactions are of course not limited to ace and deuce but to the other students as well. Crewel watch in disdain as his precious ( soon to be) children is getting flaunted by these beasts. He mentally take note to keep you safe from there unruly teens, but priority. His number one priority now is to get Crowley in his chokehold. 

 <*>

“RINGGGG!!”

The bell signing for lunch ended the class, causing you another brain aneurism, because now you have to go to the packed cafeteria, with guaranteed display to everybody attending NRC.‘FUCK FUCK FUCK’ 

“c’mon prefect lets go get lunch!” deuce said

“I’m so hungry!! Lets go hurry before they ran out of the good stuff!”

 “Easy for you to say! You don’t have a cat tail or ears…” you suck holding grim as you hesitated to walk out of the classroom.

“how bout this! I can hide you with my body!” Deuce said enthusiastically

“haaaaa, alright.. thanks” you went to cling to his back as you let grim down opting to squeeze the article on his back, using your meat shield to your fullest potential.

Deuce face burn bright with how close you are to him, ‘this is like a hug from the back!’ he squeal internally. 

“r-right! Just stay close to me!” if he was given the opportunity then why not use it. He will definitely treasure this moment till the day that he passes.

“H-Hey! I can be your shield too you know!.”

“Deuce beat you to it, pal.” Grim jeered

You peek from your meat shield giving Ace a tongue out as you went back to hiding. What can a guy do when your insult is also cute. He can’t but just try to save his pride as he hides it with his teasing, just like a kindergartener. 

The four of you arrives at the cafeteria as a realisation dawn on you. You needed more meat shield. 

You dragged ace to line with deuce as you slid you press yourself against the wall creating and effective human wall, Ace didn’t mind being a flesh wall he just hoped he is  facing you instead of the other way around.

It all went swimmingly the four of you were spotted by your other friends.

“ what the hell are you up to?” Epel asked still unaware that you are clinging to their back hiding behind them. 

“Oh us? We are just here to get some lunch right? Deuce?” 

“o-Oh yeahh righttt! We are hiding anything at all.” 

Ace hit deuce foot as he grumbles at his idiocy and deuce to panicked to retort.

“yeahhh.. right” Epel narrows his eyes suspiciously.

“seriously guys today is the inspection day at least behave yourself while these governments representative are observing us.” Jack huff, crossing his arms disapprovingly.

“seriously! We aren’t ,making any trouble promise!” Ace the pro mischief maker he is, retorded without fail

“I double that” deuce half-shouted.

“ohh? The why did your heart rate is higher than normal?” the humanoid,Ortho joined in ganging up on acedeuce duo, 

“CEASE THIS NONESENSE IMMIDEATLY, HUMANS” 

“eep!” Sebek’s loud voice seems to ring harder on your ears making you let out an involuntary sound. 

“ Not so loud crocodile boyy, my ears are ringing.” Grim grumbled as he hold his ears.

“ I feel you now Grim.” You mentally said.

“ AH what is that!” epel accused as he slip past the human wall you created and be greeted with you.

“no wait!” Deuce tries to save but he was too late.

You in cat ears and tail.

Your ears continuously twitching. 

You have tail.

“uh hi? Epel?” 

Epel wondered if the mushroom in his plate is the right kind of mushroom or is he about to die and be greeted by one final sight of you. 

Is this bliss?

IS this heaven…?

“ oi.. Epel? Whats the problem?”

The other three curious of what Epel was seeing push through.

And there you are as a beastman. A cat beastman.

Jack howl.exe has stopped working

Sebek zigvolt.exe stopped working

Ortho.exe has taken rapid shot 

He is making sure his brother gets to see you like this as well. The picture is auto sent to Idia’s device.

Jack’s fluffy white tail began frantically wagging

Sebek the loudest of the loud manage to be the quietest.

The three of them felt blood rushed up their heads, while Deuce and Ace share a sense of ‘i get you.’ Vibe to the other four. 

In collective silence the four of them created a bigger human wall shield continuing adeuce duo’s wall.

“the wall keeps getting bigger and bigger! Yeahh! This will tell people that the great Grim is passing through!! “ Grim shouts.

 You would laugh at his antics but now just not the time. 

You pick grim up as to cover yourself with him as well, using his body to cover as much face as you can while u hunched trying to be invincible. 

Of course this meant letting go of ace and deuce much to their disappointment. 

The sixth of them wish they were born as some werebeast so easily carried by you and 

“We need explanation but for now let’s get some food.” 

With the group all agreeing to stay in formation you went. To get the food in line. 

You had manage to make grim cover your ear while u get food for him and you, you of course give him extra chicken for all the hard work.

Everything was going swell, or so you thought.

“BOOO!” 

In a speed that u had never achieved before you jump very high up into a table in an offense position hissing. Only then you had realized you fucked up. 

Grim had fallen off your head showing full out your new cat ears and tail.

‘Oh great sevens.’ You wanted to mentally bash yourself because what the fuck is that reflex.

The old bat had froze in his track as his eyes widened at your new form. He found your new form rather endearing, plus what kind of reaction can you show now? 

The whole cafeteria had gone silent so have your before jack covered you up with his jacket and scooped you up off the table and ran. All the other first year in tow.

“ MIND YA OWN BUSINESS, There is nothing to see here!” You could hear Epel shouted. 

“Run run run!” Ortho speed hover. 

“I WILL STUN YOU IF YOU FOLLOW US HUMANS!” Sebek shouted.

You could hear vil shouting to Epel for him to stop and order to Rook who is still in a paralyzed mode.

You could hear Riddle threatening Ace and Deuce to stop or not he would cut off their heads which only make them ran faster. Trey and carter trying to calm their dorm leader while also thinking of a plan to steal u away. 

Floyd was whining about how they are taking the little shrimp-cat away from him to jade. 

Azul still stuck in his trance.

Kamil shouting for you to come back, 

jamil silently planning murder to get u back.

Leona chuckling saying something about a hunt to ruggie who is also chuckling in amusement.

Silver shocked with how sebek is involved, but then again you are involved so he should’ve expected it and also your new form. Malleus also is laughing, amused.

Truth be told the first year gang had scoop you up not only to save you but also to fulfill their desire, your new form that had enhance your cuteness should only be for them and theirs only. They found you first! Not those second or third year! You belonged to them! You are one of us! They do not want any body to see you like this. They don’t deserve it.

Although Sebek won’t mind sharing this sight with Malleus he thinks no body deserves to see you like this especially with their lust filled eyes.

Lilia chuckle as he snapped out of his trance.

“Kufufufu, it seems the kitten has been kidnapped by a big bad rebellion.. it’s time to teach them to know their place isn’t.” 

“ father.. what are you planning?” 

“Truly a wise word, Lilia. Whatever shall we do to teach these rebellious kids to never steal from a dragon.”

“You mean a lion?” Leona  now annoyed with the declaration. 

“ you and them? Ha you are most incompatible with them.”

“Are you sure about that? She is a beastman now, and most beastman are in the reigh of sunset savanna, ultimately my kingdom. Plus i am the original of their beastkin, she would be most compatible with me.”

“She could live in luxury in briar valley as the wife of a king instead of just some lousy king.”

“Ha what is that?”

“Or a general wife you kno.”

“Not you too Lilia!.”

“Excuse me! I know them more and better than any or you!” Riddle now involved in the conversation.

“ oh my, i can’t even imagine the fate they will have if you get to her.”

“Ha what do you mean by that?”

“What i meant is simply, your “rules” is definitely going to be atrocious to follow. If she were with me she would live happily in riches.”

“And wet underwater? Oh how bad that would be for her poor skin. She would much rather go with me draped in fame and gold.”

“ as if! She would rather be with me!”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Fine let’s settle it like a sensible being. The one who manage to capture her first would have the right to be with her.” The lion declared.

“Such a wise statement coming from you, Rook prepare yourself.” 

“Ouii, a game of hunt! I agree.” Standing tall beside the fair king, he readied himself. 

“This whole thing is dumb, of course they would choose me, but for the sake of your dignity i will participate this game. Besides i have to collar a few underclassmen of mine” The red hair boy stands.

“Oo sounds fun, Jade, Floyd we will have a change if schedule, it seems to be perfect day for hunting.”

“Yes, Azul.”

“Yes,Azul~”

“As if you all could beat me the crown prince of briar woods himself.”

With the whole dorm agreeing to play the game of hunt, they set the hunt to begin after school finished (curtesy of Riddle), lets just say you might want to wish that your group got a memo of this and tries to save you from them and not take you for themselves of course .

Meanwhile-

“Of course they wouldn’t choose me.” 

“But… if i can catch them then they will have no other choose, hahaha.” The flamey blue haired guy spoke

[3251 word]

>>To be Continued<<

.·:*¨༺ ❈ ༻¨*:·.

[milkibabe]

♥ Family Camping Trip w/ Kenny ♥

✢ summary: headcanons on going on a camping trip with Kenny’s family

✢ authors note: heyy since my first post blew up i'm deciding to do all of the boys ;p

✢ gender: reader is implied to be female <3

✢ warnings: nsfw, mentions of weed/smoking

Kenny Headcanons

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT below cut!

𝒮𝐹𝒲

Begged you to go camping with him for months.

When you finally took some time off to go with him, he was ecstatic.

"We're gonna have so much fun"

Was confused why you packed so much stuff.

"What do you mean you still need to brush your teeth?"

Boy is an animal I swear, he can be so nasty.

You, Kenny, and Karen played 'I Spy' while in the car.

Kenny loves when you play with his little sister, it makes his heart melt.

"You'd make such a good mom"

Kenny just casually drops that while you're unpacking, like it isn't the sweetest thing you've ever heard.

You cannot escape his kisses, you've lost count of how many times he's kissed you.

You'll just be getting the fire wood ready for the campfire and he'll sneak up and kiss you on the neck from behind.

"There's my pretty girl"

Kenny is already rugged by nature, so camping is really his element.

When it's just you around he'll purposely be shirtless to get your attention.

Seeing him chop wood... while shirtless??? You nearly exploded at the sight.

"Whatcha lookin' at hm?"

He gives you a cocky grin that makes you roll your eyes.

Stupid, sexy Kenny.

He is a night owl. He prefers to do everything later at night with you.

He always sleeps through breakfast, so you always nag him to eat lunch.

"Only if I get to eat you for lunch" He grins at you.

You groan and push him away. Dude can be so cheesy.

Never lets you wear your own sweaters or jackets. He wants you to wear is giant, orange parka, always.

He saw you shiver and immediately draped it over your shoulders.

His parka smells like his cologne and weed.

You always tell him "Babe... you're gonna make my hair smell like weed.

Speaking of weed, boy is always offering you some.

"Babe, can we please smoke by the water?"

You look at your phone. "Kenny, it's like 3 am..."

You, of course, do it anyways. It's fun getting high with your hot, blonde stoner bf.

*Queue Moonlight by Kali Uchis*

He makes sure to bring plenty of water for the dry mouth and your favorite snackies when you get the munchies.

He loves to feed you the snacks himself, he loves spoiling you.

"I want to do this with you every night for the rest of my life"

𝓝𝓢𝓕𝓦

Everyone already knows Kenny is a horny ass man, so it was no surprise when you couldn't get him off of you.

Cannot fucking resist teasing you every second.

Would whisper in your ears in the car while you're just minding your own business.

"Can't wait to fuck your brains out"

The face you made when he whispered that satisfied him a lot.

Everywhere you went on that trip was a place to fuck.

The tent? Yep. Some random isolated place in the middle of the woods? Yup. The showers/bathroom? You betcha.

Asked you to go skinny dipping with him in the middle of the night.

You were freezing cold of course.

This dude has the audacity to say "Aw, you can come to me to conserve warmth"

Obviously, this whole thing was a ploy to hold you while you were naked.

He would instantly start to suck on your neck, while massaging your ass with both hands.

You dug your fingernails into his back and in response he bit your neck.

Your moans made him grin, he loved how easily you melted into his touch.

Turned you around so he could grind his cock between your ass.

Wrapped his arms around your shoulders and whispered into your ear while he grinded against you.

"You're fucking perfect"

When shit was getting super heated, he walked you over to an isolated rock so you could hold yourself up on it while he fucked you.

You held on to that rock for dear life while he pounded you.

He loved watching how your body looked under the moonlight.

His favorite thing about standing doggy style is being able to watch himself pull out all the way and slam back into you.

Always riles him up when you stroke his ego.

You whine out, "Ah, its too big Kenny!"

Kenny smirks and says "Aw, but you take me so well, baby"

He only fucks you harder when you whine and whimper.

Takes him forever to cum, you probably came three times by now.

That's fine by him, he enjoys overstimulating you.

You were losing your grip on the rock and your legs could no longer stand, so he has to hold you up.

Kenny knows his job is done when you are about to collapse.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum"

He finally hits his climax and he pulls out to cum all over your ass.

"My favorite sight in the world"

He's proud of the work he's done but notices you about to pass out and quickly uses the water to wash you off.

"My sleepy little princess"

After drying you off with a towel, he puts his parka on you and carries you back to camp.

"Ooh, remind me to fuck you while you wear this next time"

Dude's always thinking of the next time he gets to fuck you smh.

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Congrats on 1000 you deserve 10000000 and I love you very many ♥️ for the requests:

J, mafia AU, smut, ring

You know how I like it 😉😘

Mickala!!! 😍😭💖

Thank you so much, I couldn't have made it without all of your lovely support. I'm so happy to have found you as a friend. Hope you enjoy my silly little Mafia AU!

Coup d'etat

Rated: E

Words: 999

Tags: Mafia AU; dark Eddie Munson; intrigue; blood and violence; bondage; nudity; explicit sexual content; consensual non-con

“Nice pool,” Eddie drawls, walking back from the patio into the house. “Could’ve made a bit more of an effort to clean it. I said to leave the place as you’d like to find it, Dick.”

Richard Harrington’s eyes scream bloody murder, but he doesn’t dare speak. Jeff and Frank have him flanked on either side, guns ready in their holsters, and Gareth is manning the door. Just a precaution. Harrington has been in the business for long enough to know he has lost. All of his most loyal henchmen are dead or on the run, and the more fickle ones have joined Eddie’s side.

“Aw, don’t pout.” Eddie pats the man's cheek jovially. “This is just how it works. Survival of the fittest and all that. Now, I believe that concludes our little tour of the house? Or am I forgetting something?” 

Harrington’s face twitches. Jeff laughs and rolls his eyes. 

“The bedroom, Eddie?”

“Ah, of course!” Eddie snaps his fingers, like he only just remembered. “Shall we, gentlemen?”

*

A giant bed dominates the far wall of the master bedroom. On the mattress, wrists tied to the headboard, is a boy. The soft, muted light glows off his naked skin. 

“Ah,” Eddie mutters. “That’s what I’m talking about. Turns out you can follow directions.”

Harrington says nothing. The boy, who stopped tearing at his restraints when he heard the door open, stares at him with wide, panicked eyes. 

“Dad? What- … Who are those people?”

Eddie coos. With a few long strides, he’s at the bed, sinking down onto the mattress. One of his hands finds the boy’s bare ankle, sliding up his leg to a firm, freckled thigh.

“Aw, darling. He didn’t tell you?” 

“Tell me what? Leave me alone, perv!”

The boy tries to shy away from his touch, but he doesn’t get far, bound in place as he is. Eddie chuckles. 

“Shhh, honey,” he scolds, cradling that pretty face with both hands. “It's okay. The name's Eddie, I work for your dad. Well, worked.”

The boy blinks at him, hazel eyes large and confused. Eddie laughs softly.

“See, the firm’s under new management. My management, to be more specific. I’m trying to keep it minimum bloodshed, so your old man’s gonna make himself scarce and I’ve agreed not to bother him. In return, I get to keep this fine house … and everything in it.” 

Understanding dawns in those pretty eyes. 

“No! Don't- don't touch me. Stay away from me.” 

Eddie makes a soft shushing sound and wipes the first tears away as they spill over.

“Oh no, sweet thing. It’ll be alright, I promise. I’ll take such good care of- wait a sec.” 

Because one of his hands has just slipped up to the boy's temple, fingers carding through thick, chestnut hair - only to come away red and sticky. The boy flinches, but Eddie grabs his jaw, holding him in place so that he can comb his hair aside. There’s a large, bleeding bruise on his temple. For a moment, the only sound in the room is that of the boy's hitched breathing. 

“Dick?” Eddie growls. “Explain this?” 

“He fought back,” Harrington mutters defiantly. “What was I supposed-” 

Eddie has him up against the wall, gun to his throat, before he can finish the sentence. 

“Are you kidding me? Trying to slip me damaged goods? I should fucking kill you, you son of a-” 

“Eddie,” Frank mutters. “C'mon, man.”  

Eddie blinks. 

“Right,” he says. “Get him out of my sight.” 

Relief washes over Harrington’s face as the gun disappears from his throat - only to be replaced by incredulous horror a second later, when Eddie holds out his hand before his face, palm up. 

“Go on, Dick. It's traditional, right? A sign of respect.”

Harrington growls. His hands curl into fists. Eddie smirks, raising an expectant eyebrow. Then, quickly, as if the touch will burn him, Harrington bows his head and kisses Eddie’s rings. 

“Not so hard, was it?” Eddie calls after him as he is escorted out. The door clicks shut. 

Eddie's smile slips. 

“Shit, Stevie,” he breathes. He's back on the bed in an instant, tilting the boy's head with gentle fingers to look at the injury. “What'd you go and do that for? I told you not to fight.” 

“And I told you it had to look convincing,” Steve retaliates. “Was I just supposed to let them tie me up and tear off my clothes and thank them for it?” 

Eddie's mouth twists into a grin. 

“We both know that's how you like it, honey.” 

He leans in, claiming those plush lips for a long, filthy kiss. Steve puts up a brief symbolic struggle, but Eddie growls warningly and slips a hand between his legs, and his protests turn into the sweetest little moans. Eddie only allows them to part once they're both out of breath and Steve is starting to buck and grind in his hold.

“Everything went well, then?” Steve asks. His voice is hoarse and raspy, and he needs to stop halfway through for another moan. “The- … the security codes all worked?” 

“Flawlessly, you sly little minx,” Eddie murmurs. He bites down on the perfect stretch of that long throat, rolls Steve’s balls in his hand, and delights in the full-body shiver it gets him. “That old asshole didn’t know what hit him.” 

Steve lets out a breathy laugh, rolling his hips to meet Eddie’s touch. 

“Good. Now untie me, so we can celebrate.” 

“Oh?” Eddie smirks, crawling further down and leaving a trail of biting kisses all over the soft skin of Steve’s chest and stomach. “But I am celebrating already.” 

Steve groans. “Eddie, c’mon!” 

“Ah-ah-ah, Stevie. There’s people out there who think I’m gonna ravage you tonight,” Eddie tuts, grabbing the boy’s twitching hips and blowing a warm stream of air on that pretty, flushed cock. Steve fucking mewls. The sound is like the sweetest music. “Be a good boy now. Gotta make it convincing, no?”

Part 2

More celebration ficlets

[my-castles-crumbling]

bone - @jegulus-microfic - word count: 327

"Potter!"

James looked around to see Regulus walking towards him, his expression thoughtful.

"Er...yes?" He didn't mean to be awkward. It was just...

"I want to talk to you about Sirius," Regulus said, coming to a stop a few feet away.

"Alright," James nodded nervously, looking around a bit. Speaking of Sirius...

Regulus took a small breath and murmured, "I've thought about what you said. And...alright. I....okay."

"I-er-that's great! It's just...can we talk about this later?" James asked, distractedly looking around again.

Regulus gave him a searching look. "James. You've been begging to talk about this for ages. Why are you-" But he was interrupted by a giant black dog that bounded back toward them, holding a bone in its mouth.

James cleared his mouth as Regulus gave him another look. "He's a stray," he muttered, not meeting Regulus's eyes. He could always tell when James was lying...

Regulus seemed to take a minute to contemplate asking more but then just shook his head and got back to his original train of thought. "As I was saying. If...if telling Sirius is what you want, then alright. We can."

The dog froze, staring between the two, and James rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly. "I, erm, good! Good, Reg, but can we-"

Regulus, however, looked furious. "Bloody hell, Potter! This...this is difficult for me, you know that! I would've thought you'd be excited!"

"I am!" James hurried to reassure him, now completely sure he was fucked. "I am, it's just-"

"Then...then, do something!"

But James felt very stuck, standing between Regulus and the dog.

"Alright, then," Regulus said, throwing his hands in the air. "I guess you've changed your mind? You don't want to tell Sirius we're dating?"

And shit.

With a thunk, the bone in the dog's mouth fell to the ground.

Because the dog was no longer a dog. He was now, of course, Sirius.

"You're what?"

[ancha-aus]

Rewrote some of Sansnautica and am very happy with the new flow <3

So a large sneakpeak <3

----

They deliver him back to the large bed thing before pulling the hand back to remain near the edge of the cavity.

Okay. What now? He can’t see his stasis gun anywhere and he has no way to know how to leave this area. Is… is it just waiting for a better moment to eat him?

Oh god wait what if this isn’t one of those mer beds but like some kind of dinner plate?!

The large being frowns at him before looking to its side and behind them. One of those large arms reaches for something and Sans is eyeing the small holes in the wall again. He isn’t sure if he can make it much less where they lead…

The arm and hand return and Sans tries to dive out of the way but suddenly a pile of that kelp is left on top of him. Oh fuck he really is about to be eaten isn’t he?!

The large hand returns and Sans back peddles out of the way and hits the edge of this weird bowl with his back. The large hand just moves and nudges the kelp around before it leaves for a moment. It returns quickly with some of the sea moss lichen stuff. The hand nudges the stuff around and Sans can’t help but watch the process curiously.

Which made it that Sans somehow didn’t notice the second hand reaching for him and grabbing him. Sans struggles but it does nothing as he is held within the sturdy, yet oddly gentle, hold. The other hand continues to move stuff around and makes sure that the new kelp and moss stuff touches every part of the mushroom bedding thing.

Then he is deposited on top of it in the middle of the now very soft surface. Sans sinks a tiny bit into the kelp cushioning.

Sans looks back at the giant confused as the fear and panic of before slowly makes room for just confusion. What is going on? Why is he kept on this thing that reminds him a lot of what the mers made for him ages ago in the little cave? The nest thing? It still feels weird to think about these things as nests because it means that the mers make nests. Then again what does he know?

Okay. Sans. Focus.

What do you know?

There is a giant mer. That easily defeated a ghost leviathan that had been about to kill Sans. The giant grabbed him and transported him to this area.

A tiny part of his mind speaks up ‘Carefully too.’ which. Fair. Sans does not have a single scratch or even bruise on him. And Sans bruises very easily with his single hp.

And once here… He left Sans in this nest, oh fuck it really is a nest isn’t it? And just… kept watch?

Sans pulls up his legs and knees and puts his arms on them. Leaning on his crossed arms that way as he just stares back at the giant.

So… he isn’t in danger. Probably. Pretty sure he would be dead in that case. Which still leaves him without a reason for why he could be here.

------

I like this much better :D (And yes @mikimakiboo It is a bit of a reference to what we spoke about :3 I loved it too much to let it go :D)

[leakyweep]

Okay so yeah I'm doing both :D They both would have such different approaches... I'm living!!!! @stephisokay also that cake was amazing and exactly what I needed to do this ask!

Warnings: Afab reader, degradation, mention of brat taming, piv sex, doffy is so mean i am so sorry i want him to call me a slut, corazon is a sub and we love him for it, not proofread, MINORS DNI

Song to enhance the vibe: "Wallflower" by Tim Atlas

- Doffy

So, we all know he has quite a big personality already. So for a person to stand before him, unflinching, unafraid... It entices him. Not only to test your limits, but to see if this is just a facade or not. He finds himself in competition with you, two giant temperaments fighting for dominance, inside and outside of the bedroom.

He'd begin by trying to scare the shit out of you, but when you just give him an attitude, he realizes you really have no idea how much power and influence he has. He assures you that he could have you killed just by speaking back to him, but he wants to play with you.

When he gets you to bed, he doesn't expect you to try and dom him. He should've expected it, seeing how you hold yourself to such a high standard, making sure to keep yourself well-groomed and managed. However, he shut that shit down quick, resulting in a bit of brat taming on his side. You refused to go down without a fight, but he was quickly overpowering you with that absolute fucking shlong he has between his hairy ass dad legs.

"That's right, you fucking overzealous slut. Think you can take me over in the bedroom?" he paused the merciless pounding of his cock deep in your weeping cunt to pull your hair towards him, meeting your tear-stained face. You were babbling absolute nonsense about how you wanted it harder, even though you were basically sobbing between broken syllables.

He laughed, pushing your face into the plush comforter and pistoning his hips to fuck you with thick length as deep as he could, his giant palms holding your ass and guiding it back and forth on his cock in time with his unapologetically rough thrusting.

"I'll teach you not to have such a bad attitude, slut. I'll fuck it right out of you."

And that he did, until you were squirting around his cock, begging him for release after release, until he was planting his seed deep inside your cunt over and over, making a mess of his pink satin sheets.

- Corazon

Now, I want you to imagine a man who would shrink in your presence, even though he stands at a whopping height. One who would devote himself to you, constantly surprising you with flowers and candy and all of your favorite things.

He wouldn't be intimidated by you, per say, but he recognizes how confident you are, and how you realize you don't even need a measly man such as he to live. He knows you're comfortable enough to be completely alone, to leave him whenever, to find any other man, so he makes sure to treat you like the only person in the world.

In the bedroom, he makes sure to be obedient, kissing your feet if you asked him to. He always made sure to take care of your orgasm first; his favorite way to see you cum is around his fingers as you pull his hair and guide his hand thats using the vibrator on your clit. The way you moan his name through clenched teeth, praising him for doing so well, making sure to show him exactly how thankful you are for him...

"Aw, baby, you love that, right? The way I take care of you for being so good to me..." Your voice is as sweet as any chocolate he's bought you, lulling him into climax after climax with your praises. The way he whimpered your name when he came, bucking his hips into your hand, your cunt, whatever was enveloping him... it didn't matter to Corazon.

He would take whatever he could from you, and he would thank you over and over again for it as he spurted cum into your mouth, onto your back, wherever he could get it. He loved seeing you a mess with his ejaculation; it was an image he would have permanently etched into his mind.

Aftercare with this man is unbelievable; he showers you with massages, showers, baths, meals... whatever you ask him for, he will deliver. He loves you so much, and he wants to show you.

[sinner-sunflower]

A HH Lucifer-centric AU 4/?

PART 1 , PART 2, PART 3, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22

Thanks to your support, I am so committed to this. When I finish this, I plan to make it into a long, proper, one-shot- better format and everything!

I've been doing these chapters in the middle of work lmao, so if you see a typo or some edits, it's me rereading it after work.

I'm trying to include more Alastor but he's pretty hard to write.

I used Velvette so much here cos I love her as that bitch you love to hate. She is obviously the spokesperson of the Vees

---------------------------------------------

The hotel lobby is filled with unbearable silence as hell's overlords and high members of the Ars Goetia arrive one by one.

Just a few hours ago, Alastor heard from Carmila Carmine that the king had called a meeting for the top ruling people of hell. Charlie doesn't know why her dad called for it in the hotel.

The Ars Goetia (minus Stolas) were whispering among themselves and shooting the sinner overlords dirty looks every now and again. The overlords were good at pretending they couldn't hear anything. Apparently, they at least have the sense to know that that would be a fight they cannot win.

The hotel's residents collectively claimed it as their spot. Husk is talking with Angel quietly, keeping him distracted and out of view of Valentino, Vaggie is holding her spear as she keeps a close eye on the strangers in their home, Nifty is obsessively cleaning a corner of the bar (Husk keeps telling her that it is still dirty just so she won't venture elsewhere), and Cherri is playing with an unlit bomb in her hand.

Rosie and Stolas decided to approach Charlie and Alastor at the bar at the same time, both slightly bowed to her.

Charlie: Prince Stolas. Rosie.

Stolas: Hello, princess.

Charlie: How's Octavia?

Stolas: Via misses your outings together. But she is fine. She's with her mother today.

Rosie: Not that I'm not happy to see ya, Alastor. But why exactly are we here? Our Carmila has not stated a reason why.

Alastor: You know as much as me, my dear.

Stolas: It must be dire. His majesty rarely calls for the Goetia's presence. He is not here yet?

Charlie: No. He went down in Sloth earlier. I'm worried. After what happened yesterday, I..

Rosie: Yesterday? Did something happen, sweetie?

Charlie realizes the slip up and backtracks.

Charlie: Nothing, Rosie!

Rosie gives her a look that tells her they're going to be talking about it later. She gives the overlord a weak thumbs up.

Meanwhile, Velvette decides enough is enough and they have wasted too much time waiting.

Velvette: Ugh! Vois, let's go. This is a fuckin' joke.

Carmila: Velvette, calm yourself.

Valentino: Why should she? I had very important shit to shoot today and me being here is making me lose money.

Alastor: Then perhaps you should step down. Having to attend the bare minimum duty of their title must be so difficult for someone so... undeserving.

The Radio Demon has a giant patronizing grin plastered on his face. Alastor's comment prompted Vox to speak up.

Vox: Oh, you timely piece of shit! Fight us right now, Alastor!

Alastor: How unbecoming. Throwing tantrums in front of royalty!

Velvette: I for one, don't want to sit here waiting for a no-show fossil

Charlie's demon side flares as the demon insults her dad.

Charlie: How fucking dare you?!

Random Goetia: You shall know better than to disrespect your king, insolent pest.

Velvette: Ha! You think we're scared of a bunch of birds?

Alastor: Should have known you three cannot behave for a simple meeting haha!

Soon everyone was yelling obscenities at each other, filling the hotel with chaos. Before a proper fight could break out, the door opens with a bang, silencing every demon.

Lucifer has arrived, following him were the other Sins. They were arguing amongst themselves from behind him. Charlie can only catch glimpses of what is being said as voices overlap each other.

Beelzebub: Bel-

Mammon: Are you fuckin-

Satan: Wrath is-

Leviathan: We cannot-

Asmodeus: Evacuation-

Belphegor: Grown another mile-

Lucifer says nothing the entire time and just takes a seat in the middle of the semi-circle table he conjured up. With the way the table was placed in front of everyone else, Charlie gets the feeling of deja vu of her hearing in heaven. But now her dad will be the one passing judgment.

Most of the sinners in the room back up as the Sins continue to argue with their full form.

Lucifer sits back and raises a hand and the yelling stops.

Back then, she never really understood why demons were afraid of her dad. He was always a silly and happy guy when spending time with her. But one time, she sneaks into his rare meetings with the Sins and sees why he was called the devil.

The anger she saw then could have given her Uncle Satan a run for Uncle Mammon's money.

Lucifer: Thank you all for coming on such short notice. I will cut to the chase. I have called you all here because something is brewing at the very depths of hell. Something that may affect us all.

Stolas: The Ars Goetia is at your disposal, sire. But may I ask what is this about?

Belphegor: I can answer that. A few months ago, an anomaly appeared at the edge of Sloth. It was not a problem until-

She pressed her touchpad and a hologram screen appeared showing the infected ground.

Not a single demon didn't widen their eyes.

Angel: What the fuck is that?

Belphegor: We wouldn't have called you all here if it was not this severe.

She taps and shows a mutilated demon pig.

Belphegor: This is Patient Zero. An animal on a nearby farm made contact with the anomaly. It instantly infected the whole body, controlling the creature whilst killing it slowly. If it can affect an animal like this, we fear what it may do to-

Velvette: And what do you expect us to do about it exactly? Why the fuck would we care about some old place we can't even go to.

Belphegor is briefly stunned by the interruption but ignores the sinner's disrespect.

Belphegor: Because you would have to be naive to think that it will stop in Sloth. We cannot be too careful.

Velvette: So you think we would risk our lives? Yeah. No thanks. How do we even know that it will affect us? It's just a pig. The worst we can get is horrible floor decor.

Lucifer stands up and moves silently towards the middle for everyone to see.

Lucifer: Free will does not mean you are free from consequences.

The king starts to remove his shirt to everyone's panic, except Belphegor.

Mammon: Woah woah, mate. The fuck ya doin?

Lucifer shrugs off the last piece of clothing to reveal the glowing, infected marks. It has not been a day since he touched it but the veins are already covering the entire right half of his torso.

Charlie: Dad!

The princess attempts to go to her father's side but Vaggie holds her back.

Lucifer: Shall we proceed without any more interruptions?

---------------------------------------------

What to look forward to in Part 5:

the rest of the meeting

more dialogue from the other Sins. Cannot decide what personality to give to Leviathan.

My HC for Satan is he's like one of those old butler types but has a jacked body (I know he has that workout app, but I'm leaning more of the liver king type of a gentle strongman with anger issues. I don't want him to be a fuckboy gymbro)

more badass lucifer

the Vees getting scolded like the children they are

[weeeeeekly]

quarter life crisis – ot5 tomorrow x together x afab!reader

˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊

blurb !!! Reincarnation can bring soulmates together despite their time apart. Being a huge fan of TOMORROW X TOGETHER helped you get through the struggles of entering early adulthood. You would thank them personally if you ever could but when you possibly get the chance it’s more than what you could ever hope for.

info !!! txt are still idols, reincarnation au, soulmates au, polyamory, throuple²… they’ll all eventually date each other, mc has mental health struggles, universe assigned lactose intolerance, team no kids, glasses wearer, lives in the middle of fuck nowhere but still a city (just go with it), pet names used are “our love” and princess, & not edited.

wc: 1.1k

WARNINGS !!! NSFW, MDNI, 18+, extremely self-indulgent, soft yandere!txt, mentions of mental health & self-harm (nothing graphic) for entire series

author’s note !!! This is fiction!!! this is made up!!! I do not condone breaking in, stalking, and other ulterior motives to get close to someone you are romantically interested in.

why are there not more ot5!txt x fem/afab or gender-neutral reader… mandatory note that i do not think txt act like this in real life. I also cannot come up with a blurb for the life of me, so please peep the info tags.

˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊

CHAPTER FOUR

You really were having trouble falling asleep.

Every time you closed your eyes, your mind would either pick the memory of Beomgyu holding your face or their expressions when you asked about hiatus. TXT already took up most of your waking thoughts but now they’ve invaded your sleeping thoughts.

It wasn’t your fault, worrying about pulling an all-nighter again, unfortunately. The lack of sleep would catch up on you but right now you could waste a Saturday doing mundane chores. Like laundry.

Having to haul a giant ass laundry bag down the hallway, into the elevator, and down another hallway to the laundry room. One of the few cons of living in your apartment is that you didn’t have individual washer and dryer units, but no other complex was affordable yet close enough to the hospital your roomie worked at.

The laundry room was empty at 1 AM, not shocking but welcoming. The rows of empty washing and dryer machines brought you some comfort as you counted out quarters from your favorite coin purse. It was never a bother to come downstairs to do laundry, offering every time to do your roommate’s too, as it reminds you of your favorite movie.

Humming to yourself one of your favorite songs, when two pairs of hands grab you causing you to shriek and drop to the floor.

“Are you okay?” Kai’s voice above you calls out as he helps you.

“Sorry. We wanted to be funny.” Soobin apologizes as the washing machine’s timer ends.

“It’s fine.” You mumble as you go to transfer the clothes to a dryer.

Kai stands next to you, a little too closely, “Dear Sputnik?”

“It’s my favorite song.”

Out of the corner of your eye you can see Kai grinning.

Soobin asks, “Can we help?”

“That would be great once it’s done drying.”

˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊

Gumz stick to you just like their name intends as you carry the laundry back to your apartment. They even stay to help you fold the clothes and put away yours in your dresser.

Small talk was fine between them, just some awkward pauses when they couldn’t think of certain words. You understand though because the English language is difficult.

You walk them to the front door, “Thanks for helping me out, guys.”

Kai opens the door and stands on the welcome mat as Soobin leans against the door frame and stares into your eyes with a softness in them.

“Come over?”

It feels like you forget how to speak in that moment with the way Soobin’s looking at you – with fluffy brown hair, slightly pushed back showing his forehead and dimples on full display. You know Kai is also looking directly at you with a hopeful smile on his beautiful face that makes you want to run your hands through his dyed blond hair. You nod, afraid that your voice will crack if you open your mouth.

Kai extends his hand out as you hold his hand. Soobin gently pushes you forward, keeping his large hand on the center of your back and never straying further. It takes all the will within you to not think inappropriate thoughts and before you know it, you’re inside their apartment with the other boys smiling at you with a certain fondness that you can’t describe.

“Back from doing laundry so soon?”

Yeonjun pats the seat next him – coincidentally the empty, middle spot – surrounded by the others as he puts on a movie. You get comfortable in the seat as Taehyun hands you a bowl of your favorite snacks. You pop a piece of candy as you wonder how they knew your taste in snacks, but ignore it, tributing it to a coincidence.

As you start getting into the movie’s plot, Yeonjun scoots closer as he throws a hand over the pillow behind you.

He’s probably just trying to get comfortable. Nothing weird.

But when you put a few more pieces of candy in your mouth, Yeonjun leans onto your shoulder to whisper in your ear, “Did Soobinie and Huening help you?”

Nodding as you try to scooch away before you answer your personal delusional question of what it would be like to kiss THE Choi Yeonjun. Beomgyu turns to you and tilts his head, so you offer some candy that he happily takes.

“As a thank you, make a group chat for us?”

“Okay.”

Discreetly taking your phone out as to not interrupt movie night, you hand your phone to Yeonjun to make the chat.

gc with 6 cuties

            you hi

            soobin hiii

            taehyun hey

            huening (⋆ˆ ³ ˆ)♥

            beomgyu hello

            hottest it boy heyyyyy

            you oh my god

Yeonjun snickers as you let out a sigh, locking your phone. You turn your attention back to the movie as it’s almost over now. You sit back against the pillow and let your eyes close – just to rest them for a minute.

Once the credits roll, TXT start to clean up until Yeonjun tells them to be quiet as you fell asleep. Taehyun hovers over you as he gently takes your glasses off and places them on the table as Beomgyu brings a blanket from his bed.

“I wish she would stay forever with us.”

“Don’t wake her.”

“I call the couch with our love tonight!”

“No fair!”

“We’ll get her to sleepover again tomorrow before Monday and stay in the apartment while she’s at work.”

Yeonjun pushes Beomgyu out of the way to sleep next to you. He wants to snuggle, but he’s afraid you’ll freak out if you wake up right now, so he’ll wait until later.

˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊

You don’t remember when you fell asleep, but you wake up a little later when you feel a head on your shoulder. Turning, you find Yeonjun sleeping peacefully. The MOA inside you is screaming right now as this is a dream come true. You close your eyes again and hope you fall back into dreamless sleep as no dream could be better than your life recently. You just hope that Yeonjun continues to sleep on your shoulder and when you wake up again you’ll feign innocence to keep your friendship.

masterlist | previous | next

author's note sorry for the late post!! hopefully i'll get the next chapter finished earlier in the day :)

[rubendiasthoughts]

Ruben Dias as a boyfriend - headcanon

Hi guys! I wrote a little something about Ruben as a boyfriend, so hope you enjoy this!

-First of all I think Ruben would be a soft dom even in daily, normal situations.

- He would never let you carry anything when he is with you. Let's say you two are doing some shopping together, he's carrying all your bags for you. If it's grocery shopping he will be taking all the bags to the house, he doesn't want you to lift a finger. We all know he is a giant, and a strong one too, so why wouldn't he, right?

-I think Ruben with his love for a good routine would totally try to teach you some good habits. For example, he would make sure you are staying hydrated, reminding you to drink enough water. Or maybe even when he comes back home from training he is like "have you eaten something angel? " and you tell him what you have eaten that day but he decides it's not enough nutrition for you so he would be like "gonna cook something for you, gotta make sure my girl is well taken care of". He would give you a kiss on your forehead and get to the kitchen. And let me tell you - the fact you get to watch him in the kitchen means you have already won, the hottest view 🥵. Then when you two are seating at the table eating the dinner he is watching you, making sure you are eating and when you two are done, he gets you to sit on his lap and gives you a quiet "good girl" along with a kiss.

- Okay we already established the man is a giant, so I am convinced he would be more than happy to help you whenever you have trouble reaching for something. Let's say you are in the kitchen, cooking dinner for the two of you, Ruben is seating at the table, talking to you, watching you making dinner. Whenever he sees you getting on your tip toes trying to reach something at the top shelf, he quickly steps in and gives you a soft "let me help you, pretty girl".

- Whenever you two are out in public together, he is always touching you in some way. It's either holding hands, his hand around your shoulders, or on your back. He just wants you to feel safe and protected at all times and this man would do anything to protect you.

-The pet names Ruben would have for you 😍🤰 I think the ones he would use the most would be angel, baby, sweetheart, sweet girl, pretty girl, love and of course he uses portugese pet names too. And very often before using the pet name he would add "my" to it - like my pretty girl, my angel - which would obviously make it even better 🤤

- He compliments you all of the time. Let's say you two are going out on a date so you get all dolled up for him. So you are doing some finishing touches to your makeup in the bathroom, he walks up to you, wraps his arms around you from behind, gives you kisses on your neck and whispers into your ear "such a pretty girl, what did I do to deserve you? ". But he compliments not only your looks. He would always tell you how smart, kind, hardworking, talented you are. He would literally make you feel like a princess.

- Okay, but obviously he would be such a soft dom in the bedroom too 😍

- So I think he would have his moments of being a very soft lover. On the nights he just wants to show his appreciation for you he would be taking his time, kissing all over your body, taking it slow but still making sure you loose your mind. On those nights he usually fucks you in missionary, looking deep into your eyes, holding your hands in his above your head, telling you how much he loves you and how good you are being for him. When you two are done, he cleans you up, holds you in his arms while giving you soft, little kisses and a lot of praise. The king of aftercare 🤴

- That being said, he absolutely loves to fuck you hard and rough. On those nights he would totally manhandle you, he would get you in any position he would like to have you in. He pounds into you relentlessly, your little moans and whimpers only giving him more motivation. The way he speaks to you remains the contrast to the way he is fucking you. He would be all praise, whispering dirty things in your ear that would only give you more pleasure. He'd be all like "fuck angel, you feel so fucking good", " such a good girl, letting me fuck you like this".

- He would love choking you and spanking you during sex! He loves your little gasps for air when his hand is around your neck, he always adds just the right amount of pressure - not wanting to hurt you, but only add to your pleasure. Whenever he fucks you from behind he can't hold back from spanking your ass, for him it's a way of showing you who is in charge - he loves the way you let him take care of you, always trusting him completely, letting him do all of this to you. He gets off on the thought that you are his and he can do whatever he wants to you.

- He enjoys eye contact as well. Especially if he is fucking you in front of a mirror. Let's say he has you bent over the bathroom counter, he is fucking you from behind, grabs your jaw harshly. "Look at me when I fuck you" he groans in your ear. And if you have trouble with keeping your eyes open he would be all like "look at me or I'll just fuck your mouth instead" and when you do as he says he goes "that's my good girl".

- He loves it when you cry because of how good he is fucking you. That is literally the only situation in which he wants to see your tears and see you cry. He'd be all cocky about it too. He has this smirk on his face and asks you " What is it baby? Am I fucking you to good? " or he would be like "I know you can take it sweetheart, just a little bit more".

Okay that's it for today. I enjoyed writing this so much and I still have some ideas so maybe I could do a part two if you guys like this? So let me know please ❤

Also a reminder that you guys can send me your ideas if you want to!

I apologize if there are any mistakes or if something sounds weird or awkward but I'm just starting out writing and also English is not my first language. But I will be working on this so please be patient with me! 😇

Kisses, sending lots of love ❤

[dreaming-medium]

Animals Without Direction

Chapter Ten - By First Light

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Masterlist

It was well past midnight when you returned to the keep. There was a fresh gash in your side.

The job you were sent on was supposed to be simple. Just a wolf spotted near a farm owned by an elderly couple. They couldn’t afford to hire a mercenary themselves, so they came to the Jarl for assistance.

And who did he send out? You.

And what did you find? A pack of wolves. Easily seven of them. You took care of them, of course, but not before one got a nasty swipe at your side.

No, you have not been able to sleep yet. Your brain feels like it’s being squeezed by a giant’s hands. Your eyes feel sunken into your skull.

It certainly is not helping your general attitude, either.

With one hand pressing into the wound, you limped slightly into the keep and towards the throne room. You always reported to Chan first thing before going to wash up.

The gash wasn’t too deep at all, it was more annoying than anything. With your healing abilities, it will most likely be closed by the morning, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt like a bitch.

It looks much worse than it is. To anyone passing by, you look like you’re bleeding out.

Silence fills the hallways of the keep. Your boots drag along the stone with uneven steps. 

“Fucking wolves,” you grumble under your breath, “Demons straight from The Void.”

There’s only been one instance of Chan being asleep when you’ve gone to report in from a mission. Tonight apparently makes two.

But the throne room is not empty, no, there’s one person standing at a table.

Minho’s back was towards you, he was sitting at a chair at the end closest to you. If there was a plate of food in front of him, you couldn’t tell.

You’re about to turn to leave but he speaks up.

“He’s asleep.” He says without turning to look at you.

“I pieced that together.” Your voice comes out much weaker than you intended.

‘Damn this wound.’ You think to yourself.

This makes Minho turn to look at you with an eyebrow cocked. His eyes quickly scan your figure, hovering on the hand that’s holding your side.

He tongues his cheek and turns back around.

“I did not think a simple wolf was too much for the all-mighty mercenary.” He chides.

You roll your eyes and sneer at the back of his head. “One is not. Once the number climbs to about six or seven it becomes a bit difficult.”

Minho nods his head and picks up the tankard in front of him, taking a long swig.

You shift your weight from foot to foot. “I will speak to him in the morning then.”

The way to your room is through the throne room. Meaning you have to walk past Minho.

A log crackles in the fire.

Taking a deep breath, you take painful steps towards the doorway across the room, each intake of breath feels like needles in your side.

“Should you not be going to see Felix?” Minho calls across the room.

You do not stop walking. “Do not pretend to care.” You roll your eyes, not that he sees it. “I will be fine by the morning.”

“You’re bleeding on the floor.”

“I am fine.” You grit. “Goodnight, Minho.”

Minho sighs.

“Some days I believe you to be intelligent, others you prove yourself to be witless.”

A shot of anger goes through your chest and you finally stop walking. You turn in place, hand still holding your wound tightly.

“Do not speak to me like that, Minho.” You growl. “Have we not had this talk before or are you the witless one who cannot remember a conversation that was had a month ago?”

You make sure to put extra venom into your words, teeth bared and eyebrows furrowed. The room grows warmer as your blood boils.

Minho stares at you from his seated position at the table. Even from a distance you can see the anger flashing in his eyes with a dangerous glint.

You were playing with fire here.

“Has it only been a month?” His voice low, “Did it only take a month for you to find your way into a second court member’s bed?”

Your jaw drops and your eye twitches, “What has possessed you?” You ask incredulously.

Minho sticks a grape in his mouth, one eyebrow raised in a cocky manner. “First the Squire, now the Rogue. Who is next? The Mage?”

The Rogue? Is he referring to you leaving dinner with Seungmin two days ago? What is he on?

Hotter and hotter your anger boils. Every time you think you’ve taken a step forward with Minho, he launches himself ten paces back.

You’re so shocked at his words that you can’t even form proper words. Where is this coming from?

“I— what are you saying?” You sputter.

Suddenly, you can’t even feel the wound in your side. Your attention is on the advisor and his wild accusations.

“I watched you leave dinner with that dopey smile on your face. Do not pretend to be ignorant.”

Is he serious?

“Seungmin wanted to tell me something pertaining to an assignment he completed but did not want any prying ears to hear it!” You bark at him, taking a step in his direction. “What is this all about?”

Minho rolls his eyes and looks at the wall to his left, away from you.

“You spend every moment of your spare time with another man, what is one supposed to think, Y/N? I am not stupid, no one in this court is.”

“Why do you see me as no more than a common whore? Have I not proved myself worthy of being among you? Or do I need to run my sword through your chest before you finally listen to me?”

Minho snaps his head over to you, a sneer on his face. “Is that a threat?”

“Typically when someone insults my honor, I do not sit there and take it.”

Minho rolls his eyes, “You do not sit there and take it? Pity, and here I thought the men gave lay to you for a reason.”

That was it.

In a blink, you marched over to where he sat at the table, with one blood soaked hand and one clean one, you grabbed the pristine collar of his shirt and yanked him from his chair.

Both of your noses were only about a centimeter apart. Your eyes were full of venom and hatred.

“I am not a whore. I am a mercenary who has fought tooth and nail to be the woman I am.”

Minho’s one hand plants on the tabletop and the other grabs your wrist in a vice grip. His eyes are glaring at you with an equal amount of anger and something else you couldn’t put your finger on.

“Why is it the moment I speak with a man you point your finger at me calling me a tramp? Every member on the Jarl’s court is a man. Am I supposed to keep to myself and never speak to a soul?” You tighten your grip on his collar and his does so as well on your wrist. “Why can you not treat me with the respect I deserve?”

The two of you stare so closely into the other’s eyes. Minho’s teeth are bared in a growl like state.

“You know,” you say with an evil smirk, “If I did not know any better, I may even say that you were jealous, Lee Minho.”

A wall of emotion flashes through his eyes, his pupils dilate and an actual growl tears from his throat.

Faster that you can blink, you’re turned around, an arm wrapped around your neck. He’s placed you in a sleeper hold from across the dining table.

Your back screams from the awkward angle. The wound in your side feels like it’s leaking even more.

“Jealous?” He gnarls in your ear. “Let us make one thing crystal clear. I am not jealous, I am angry that you believe you could simply seduce your way into my men’s beds when you had nothing nice to say about Miroh since your arrival.”

You struggle against his hold, his grip on your neck only tightens. “Do you not think that if I hated Miroh that I would have left a long while ago? What is holding me here? Nothing. Are you only seething because it is not your bed that I am trying to land in?”

His breath is hot against your ear, he exhales with each movement that you make against him in an attempt to keep you there. His hold may be like concrete, but you sure were giving him a rough time.

Minho squeezes your throat and a cry falls from your lips at the pressure. He’s one step away from cutting off your oxygen.

Thrashing against his arm, you pull and pull on his forearm but he doesn’t budge. “Do you truly not see the respect I have for this hold? Do you not see that I regret that way of thinking? But what else was I supposed to think when it was all I was fed my entire life!

“The Jarl is starting a war to free the Elves of Erbus. I am prepared to sacrifice my life in order to see that happen and you think that I am simply acting as a cock warmer for your court.”

With one last thrash, you finally yank yourself away from Minho. Your body turns and you stare daggers at him.

He’s looking at you differently, there’s still plenty of anger, but his eyes are moving all around your face. Both of your chests are heaving from exertion.

Minho opens his mouth to say something but a door slamming open takes both of your attention.

Your hand flies to your sword and Minho turns his entire body towards the door, hand at the dagger on his belt.

Your jaw dropped as soon as you saw what it was.

The messenger slumped against the door, his hair wet and greasy. His entire body was covered in dirt and soot, every article of clothing on his body was ruined.

But that’s not what made your heart sink.

Blood streamed down the sides of his head on both sides. He’s holding his stomach the same way that you came in doing, but both of his hands were completely stained red.

His hair draped in front of his face, but the skin you could see was beaten and bruised.

Blood is oozing through his fingers and leaving puddles on the floor.

The messenger lifted his head as much as he could. Both of his eyes were swollen and black. His lip was split and there were several gashes and chunks missing from his skin.

Bile rose in your throat.

You hadn’t seen someone this horrible looking since…

“He’s an Elf,” you choke out, “we sent an Elf to Erbus.”

“Get Chan.” Minho commanded, taking large steps towards the door where the messenger fell to his knees. “Now, Y/N!” He barked and your feet were moving.

“Guards!” You heard Minho scream as you sprinted out of the throne room, “Someone get Felix! NOW, GET HIM NOW.”

As fast as your feet allowed you, you sprinted through the keep. You had never been inside Chan’s room, you had only known where it was.

You were peeling around corners, the exhaustion you felt previously nowhere to be found.

An Elf. They sent an Elf.

His ears. They cut off his ears. Your throat tightened and you willed yourself to run faster.

As soon as his door was in sight, you screamed. “My lord!” You yelled, as soon as you got to the door, you started banging on the wood as hard as you could with your fists.

“My lord! Get up! My lord!” Over and over again you bang until the door is ripped open by an extremely startled Chan.

His hair is tossed and messy, eyes wide and alarmed with his mouth open in shock.

Chan’s eyes are wild as he looks your body up and down. He stops at the wound on your side, but you don’t give him enough time to say anything.

“The messenger, my lord.” You pant out desperately. “He was an Elf, my lord. He is back. He was an Elf,” you repeat and tears well up in your eyes even more. “My Lord, they— they—“

Chan doesn’t give you enough time to finish. His face shifts to a look of absolute horror, his face pales and he stumbles back a step.

You reach forward as quick as you can and grab his wrist. “Minho sent me to fetch you, please. My lord we have to go,” you beg him and pull his wrist.

Chan’s face hardens, but he makes no move to take his wrist from your hand. You pull him out of his room and down the hall.

Within a few seconds, he snaps out of his stupor and the two of you run through the halls together. After rounding the first corner, you drop his wrist.

“Where?” He barks.

“I know not if they brought him to the healing ward or if he’s still in the throne room.” You respond.

This time, it’s Chan’s turn to snatch your arm, he pulls you into a side hallway and both of you continue running at a decent clip.

It was now that you notice his lack of clothes.

He’s shirtless and only wearing a pair of soft cotton trousers. By the sound of his feet hitting the stone, he’s barefoot. The only thing covering him is a deep red silk robe around his shoulders, but it’s not tied in the front.

The robe billows behind him as the two of you run.

Within a minute, you’re bursting through the doors of the healing ward.

His choice in coming here was the correct one. 

Minho and another guard are standing against the wall while a disheveled looking Felix does everything in his power to close the wounds on the messenger’s body.

Minho’s hands and clothes are covered in blood and his eyes are wild.

Both of Felix’s hands are emanating a yellow glow as he attempts to use restoration magic. His palms pressed to either side of the messengers head, cupping where his ears should be.

The messenger appears to have passed out. His body limp in the bed, not even his fingers twitching.

You and Chan walk into the room, you stay closer to the door and Chan marches over to the bed, looking down at the messenger.

A gasp tears from Chan’s throat and his hand flies over his mouth in pure shock.

“What happened to him?” Chan demands.

Sweat is dripping down Felix’s face mixing with his own tears. Violent sobs are wracking his chest.

“I know not!” He cries, “I have never seen anything like this before. This cruelty is beyond even what you would find in The Void.”

The light surrounding his hands keeps flickering.

“He is so young, Chan. I’m trying, I am but his wounds are beyond my skill.”

“Then get Hyunjin. You,” he points to the guard. “Go!” Chan commands to the guard who takes off out of the room.

“Hyunjin won’t be able to do anything, Chan. There’s nothing else we can-“

“Try, Felix.” His voice is so stern, yet it’s cracking. Chan reaches down and grabs one of the messenger’s arms gently yet tightly.

Your throat tightens and the tears that were sitting in your eyes finally fall.

They did this to him. They tortured this boy. He couldn’t have been older than twenty winters. This poor boy who was just doing his job.

They cut off his ears, beat his body until he couldn’t move.

“Chan I do not think-“ Felix cries but Chan cuts him off.

“Keep going.” He begs with a hard, even voice. “Keep trying.”

“Chan it is not working!” Felix cries back.

“Fucking— Keep going, Felix!“ Chan bellows, his voice catching at the end.

“It is not WORKING.” Felix screams.

Chan turns away from the bed with his face hidden in his elbow. The Jarl walks away and towards the wall opposite of where Minho stood.

“I cannot.” Felix cries, his eyes staying on the boy’s broken body. Tears are streaming down his face and onto the sheets. “Chan, he is-“

Felix is cut off again by Chan slamming his fist into the wall. A roar tears from his throat and his head falls against the stone next.

Silent sobs wrack your chest, you try to stay as silent as possible. The tears falling from your cheeks down to the stone floor.

“Chan.” Felix calls out with a shaky voice.

The Jarl makes no move, he keeps his head against the wall.

The soft light of magic that was coming from Felix’s hands flickers out. Hard, violent sobs come from his throat as he reaches over and grabs the messenger’s hand.

Almost every finger is broken and bent the wrong way. Felix holds it as if anything as gentle as a breath would break them more.

His knees buckle and he falls to the floor, still holding the messenger’s hand.

Minho is silent as he walks over to the bed. Carefully, he reaches over and parts the messengers tunic towards the top.

Sobs fill the room.

“What are you doing, Minho?” Felix asks through cries. He stands up shaking from the floor to watch his movements.

As soon as his sentence comes out, a startled gasp follows it. Both you and Chan look over.

Minho’s face is pulled into the angriest expression you’ve ever seen him muster. Those dirty looks he gave you in the throne room are nothing compared to this.

You and Chan both took careful steps towards the bed.

A gasp left your throat just like Felix’s when you saw it.

Chan’s declaration of war.

It was nailed into the messenger’s chest. Blood soaked each entrance wound.

You felt nauseous, the world was spinning. His cruelty knows no bounds. Your eyes squint shut to try and stop the tears from flowing even faster.

The floor seems to tilt and you have to sit down on the bed behind you to try and get your bearings.

Chan was eerily silent. But you just knew that he was positively seething.

“Minho. Please go wake up Changbin.” His voice is entirely too even, too calculated. He is past the point of anger.

You open your eyes and look over at the Jarl. His eyes are fixed on the letter still on the messenger’s chest.

“I want our soldiers ready to march by first light.” His voice strong and calm. “Sisk Killoran will know terror before the end.”

[gilgamushroom]

HOW TO SELL YOUR SOUL TO BILL CIPHER ‼️‼️ (+ Terms & Conditions CRACKED)

It took.... way, way too long to decode this, so I'm just gonna post it here lol. So!!

From the adorable baby bill page, we've got "ONE EYED KING" which once you put it in the laptop leads to.....

A totally normal recording with no secret messages! Nope, it's never that simple. Morse code reveals a "NAITSUAF" which can also be used in the laptop...

Well, that's fun, now let's click on and go to the contract

Which has a silly little code at the end which translates to "YOU ARE NOW TWENTY ONE GRAMS LIGHTER" and that should be all! except... jesus fucking christ...

Now HERE are the hours of my life that I will never get back. The translation goes:

this contract is legal and binding 🟨 we reserve the right to use your likeness 🟨 voice and small town pluck in whatever nefarious manner is deemed necessary 🟨 sans soul 🟨

your soulmate will not recognize you and will walk right past you on a cold autumn day 🟨 never making eye contact 🟨 not even processing that you have eyes at all 🟨 no amount of interaction will move them to a place where they can remember 🟨 in feeling 🟨 they thousands of lifetimes you have already spent together 🟨 each time choosing whatever form would keep you closest like otters holding hands in a tumultuous rivers 🟨

you were birds 🟨 you were trees with roots entangled 🟨 drinking in the sunlight together 🟨 wherever we go next 🟨 whatever you choose 🟨 I will always be right there with you 🟨🟨 thats done 🟨 buddy 🟨 congratulations 🟨 you have chosen bill instead

mcdonalds reserves the right to put a giant yellow m on your torso and forehead and send you walking through a crowded times square while you scream 🟨 the fries 🟨 the fries 🟨 they don🟨t degrade in nature 🟨🟨🟨 it🟨s an immortal food 🟨🟨🟨 they will be in the landfills long past our deaths 🟨🟨

good god 🟨 the things🟨s i🟨ve seen 🟨 me 🟨 who am I 🟨 oh i🟨m bill🟨s previous lawyer 🟨 he put my soul into a quill pen so I can write his legal documents until the sun snuffs out like a candle in this sick universe 🟨 I used to be so hot 🟨 I was so fine 🟨 now i🟨m fine print 🟨 speaking of which 🟨

bill reserves the right to put your soul into an inanimate object 🟨 a strange creature 🟨 a concept 🟨 a sentence 🟨 a tasteful but rusty mason jar with wildflowers in it 🟨

if at any point you wish to have visitation rights with your soul 🟨 you will be swiftly denied 🟨 unless you had a cool day planned for the both of you 🟨 then bill might want to come along 🟨

by signing this document you forfeit any rights to eating soul food 🟨 it will turn to ash in your mouth 🟨 a fitting punishment for a fool who squandered the only true gift life owes you 🟨 bill reserves the right to dress your soul however he deems necessary 🟨 especially if your soul was a nerd before acquisition 🟨 soulmakeoverrr 🟨

your soul may become fractured and placed into different objects 🟨 this has no purpose and will not resurrect you if you die 🟨 signee has forfeited all rights to any afterlife 🟨 including but not limited to 🟨 heaven 🟨 hell 🟨 purgatory 🟨 big corner 🟨 flow state 🟨 the dream house 🟨 the reincarnation processing center 🟨 axolotl🟨s tank and consequences hole 🟨

signee can no longer board the soul train and is advised to discard all bellbottoms 🟨 signee can no longer have a puppy as a best friend 🟨 they can sense what is gone 🟨 cats are indifferent 🟨

signee may experience occasional demon possessions from horculus the red 🟨 plabos the merciless 🟨 morbus son of mortem 🟨 plaga the oozing and other such common demons roamimg earth searching for weakened 🟨 empty vessels 🟨

tips for ripping your soul out at home 🟨 watching youtube commentary channels 🟨 attending an extended family event with an open bar 🟨 using generative ai and asserting that you are creative 🟨 turning a blind eye to human suffering 🟨 amassing more wealth than needed 🟨 purchasing a blue checkmark

AND THAT'S THAT. I am seeing this code in my sleep :D Anyways, as they say, always read the fine print, unless it's THIS long in which case by god just take this post instead 👍🏼

I'll go back to seeing these symbols whenever I close my eyes now. Take care and don't sign your soul away uninformed <3

[shamelessboiledwater]

Before the cages get lowered in lava Luigi ask to say something before dying and Bowser allows it thinking he was going to beg to be spared but instead Luigi goes on a rant about how wrong this wedding is starting with "you are down right disgusting for doing this to the princess!" Saying this shocks everyone even the other prisoners then continues before could speak "and not to mention the freaking wedding is only one side I mean you actually think will love you for all the pain and suffering your putting on her shoulders!?" He yelled making Bowser suddenly shut his mouth in amazement, for a moment of course 😉 "I mean even if the princess falls for you you already ruined it but 1 terrorizing her people 2 for hurting her land and 3 for forcing her to marry you! You literally made the wedding about your freaking self No lady or princess likes that, it's downright mean, disgusting and rude! YOU EVEN MADE THE DAMN CAKE MORE ABOUT YOU THEN BOTH OF YOU!!" He yelled out scaring everyone a little bit and he was now walking back and forth in his cage (who knew the little guy had it in him) "and finally you no good snail turtle for brains dog water breath of a king didn't think how she might fell about this if she really loved you! You would have let her in the wedding plans but nooooo it had to be all about you, you, you! You literally not once asked how she felt about any of this and thus is why you are always alone you giant angry turtle!" He said panting heavily before turning around and sitting in his cage everyone was in shock and Bowser was the only person staring at him now as everyone whispered to the person closest to them Luigi was half expecting Bowser to kill him right then and there as he was about to turn around "the wedding is being put on hold we are going back to the dark lands!" Bowser yelled then looked at Kamek "put that green scared a cat in a guest room this instant and do not question my order" he said walking off as the island started rising

Leaving the mushroom kingdom and later Luigi was taken to a room with the princess shocking both of them "you had a lot of courage saying that stuff to Bowser" Peach said as Luigi rubbed the back of his neck "you don't have to tell me twice" he said, they decided to talk about stuff while Bowser was in his studies walking back and forth trying to get Luigi's angry face out of his head it turned him on a little bit wait what Bowser focus! He roars before punching a wall trying to understand what's happening is messing with his head he's seen Peach angry but it never made him feel like this as Kamek walked in Bowser grabbed ahold of him pulling him closer to his face "You said when your eyes land on someone you would begin to feel butterflies in your stomach!? Why the fuck am I feeling like this after getting disrespected at my own wedding!!" Kamek tried his best to calm Bowser down rubbing his hand "your majesty I'm sure these feeling will pass you said it yourself you love the princess maybe you're just a little nervous and upset because of what happened at the altar" Bowser for some reason didn't like this letting Kamek go "you don't understand it's the way he looked at me with those dark baby blue eyes...his..his cold but yet sweet voice and his..soft...skin.." Bowser said slowing realizing he fell in love with that no good girl stealing and ugly Mario's little brother then it hit him he was in love with **Mario's** little brother a evil smile showed up on his face "I know a way to get back at that short mustache wife stealing Mario! I'll date his brother and steal away the thing most dear to him...yes..yes! Mario would have no choice but to back off if I make his brother love me by marrying him instead!" Bowser's smile turned into a wicked smirk as Kamek was loving all of this "would you like me to let everyone know of the new plans?" He asked as Bowser looked at him "no I'm gonna do this nice and slow for now don't want greenie getting any ideas"

If your wondering where Mario and Donkey Kong are they're climbing the side of the island that is all I'll talk about it later no promises tho (that's a lie >:) )

[buttercuppup0]

My first actual story so be nice!!

TW: A bit of cnc, spanking, forced bj!!

I’ve tested your patience for the last time and you’re determined to make my bitch mouth pay. I knew that running my hands over your thighs and bulge while I told you about how many times I touched myself and came without permission would anger you, but not this much. Already hard from the teasing I achieved, you grab my hair and slam me to the floor, whipping out your cock in one swift motion. Without saying a word, you push my unwilling mouth down on your long shaft, making me gag and unable to breathe. You hold your length down my throat for what feels like forever as my head begins to go fuzzy and stars dance across my vision. Then suddenly and violently, you begin to fuck my face with a merciless force and rhythm.

“Are you sorry now, you dumb slut?” you exclaim as you hold my head back by my hair, mascara running down my face and spit choking me up. Choking on air and unable to speak, you throw me to our bed and force your cock down my throat again until you’re satisfied. You grab handcuffs we used in a recent scene and you throw them over my wrists as I cry out and plead for you to let me go and that I was sorry. I begged and screamed about how sorry I was, but nothing was going to stop what you were about to do with me.

You’re in it now, ready to punish me fully with the right equipment just a closet door away. You throw the door open looking for your first implementation of punishment and settle on a cane and paddle. You hit me hard. I cry out but you soon stuff my mouth with my panties, hitting me again and again. The paddle is first which hurts so bad, but not as badly as the cane hurts. I am certain I am going to have giant welts by the time this is over, if I even survive.

THWAP!

THWAP!

THWAP!

I think I'm going to pass out as my body and mind numbs itself from the abuse. Then you’re on top of me, I try to fight you off, but my legs are weak and hands are tied. All attempts to scream or get away are met with your hand across my mouth while your other hand starts to rub my needy and swollen clit.

“I knew you liked my abuse, you whore. I can tell you LOVE how I treat you, slut. Look how worked up you’re getting!” you tease as my back arches and we’re pressed up against each other, as close as physically possible. A cry escapes me as I also let out a slight moan while you massage my cunt. You laugh at how pathetic I am, deciding then that I’m in need of your cock.

You position me on my back and pry open my legs as I kick and try to scream. You pull me in closer and slam into me as tears fall down my face and you tell me “I’m sorry princess, this is what brats get. C’mon you love it, don’t cry…”. Your rock hard cock pierces through me with a sickening pace and sounds of my soaked pussy fill the room. Your thrusts are rigorous and forceful as you begin breeding my needy pussy. I give up and let out a moan for my Daddy and his lovely cock. “Cum for me” you say as my pussy spasms around your cock. My pussy tightens and takes you even deeper into my small womb as warm spurts of your cum coat my insides.

You cradle me in your arms and coo about how good of a girl I was for letting Daddy use her like that. We cuddle and sleep in warm blankets for the rest of the night.

[strangedreamings]

S2E6 (spoilers abound)

Do we have to see Jaehaerys' body in the opening credits every week now?

Hi, Jason! Glad to see you're just as full of yourself as ever. He doesn't want to make a move without Aemond and Vhagar. Wow, and here I thought Tyland got all the brains.

"I am the Prince Regent, not a dog to be called to heel." Honey, you're both, and the sooner you can accept that, the happier all of us will be.

Ironrod suggests marrying Alicent to the Red Kraken (the current Lord Greyjoy). Dude, who do you think you are, Otto Hightower?

"The longer we wait, the more chance (Daemon) will prevail." No, no, keep waiting -- Alys and the curse of Harrenhal will drive him completely mad soon enough.

"My uncle is a challenge I welcome, if he dares to face me." I don't know how to break this to you, Aemond, but this crush of yours is not reciprocated.

Aemond fires Alicent from the Small Council and is a misogynistic dick about it. Alicent accuses him of still being angry about losing an eye. Honey, you're the one who wanted his nephew's eye taken in revenge, where did you think talk like that would lead?

Corlys wearing his Hand of the Queen pin. It looks good on you, dude.

Ah, the Sowing of the Dragonseeds. Rhaenyra's desperation for additional dragonriders is going to get a bunch of people killed or maimed.

The Small Council knows she is reaching and for fucking once, I agree with them. Maybe they'd take her seriously if she didn't sound like she was talking to her younger children.

Ser Steffon has so little Targ blood in him that it's not going to matter. Rhaenyra, this is such a dumb idea.

"Then perhaps the gods will favor us." Not unless the writers are going off-book (again).

Hi, Daemon. Which dead family member are you going to see tonight?

And he's back in the throne room, lovely. "The Heir for a Day" shit again? That must be really pressing on Daemon's conscience now that Viserys is dead.

Speaking of, hi, Viserys! Good to see you in (relative) health again. I hope HBO is paying all these cameo actors well, they all seem to be having a blast tormenting Daemon again (who looks truly devastated right now). HBO, you'd better be getting Matt's For Your Consideration campaign ready for next year's Emmys.

Ooo, a Rhea mention, even if we don't see her! I'll take it.

It's entirely possible that none of this is actually Alys or the curse's doing -- Daemon's conscience has more than enough fodder to torment him with. He hurt his brother, all three of his wives, and his daughters. It's about time all of that bothered him.

"...Stop watching me." And you still think you're fit to take KL by yourself? You're never leaving the Riverlands, Daemon.

"Daemon Targaryen asking for help?" "Counsel." He's losing his mind one night at a time but dammit, he's still got his wit.

"In three days' time, the winds will shift." Grover Tully is gonna die.

It's so dark in this cave that I can't tell which dragon that is. In the book, Steffon attempts to ride Seasmoke. Oh, it is Seasmoke. Thank God somebody said his name because he looks nearly black in the darkness.

"Do not show fear." Too late, Steffon is freaking the fuck out.

Just burn/eat him already, the tension is driving me nuts.

Is that dragontamer seriously just holding a long stick? Against a giant fire-breathing flying reptile?

Finally! Holy shit, that took FOREVER.

The Hull brothers are so goddamn hot. But don't think I didn't notice, Ryan, that the first person we see after Seasmoke's little barbecue is Addam. :P

So, is this madam TRYING to start a rebellion or what? "And his rightful heir denied her seat." Yep, she's trying.

"You have forgotten to fear me." You're going to have to do more than slap him, Rhaenyra.

Oh, the madam is working for Mysaria, got it. This really could work.

"This becomes you." Yeah, a sword in her hand so she can actually do her own fighting. Too bad nobody taught her how to use it.

Didn't the French Revolution start because of a famine? The smallfolk don't care who's on the throne as long as their bellies are full.

Oh Dear God, Otto as Hand to Aemond? Well, at least those Small Council meetings won't be boring.

Aemond's going to smother Aegon II with a pillow, I just know it. Aegon whimpers when he sees Aemond and you can't blame him. TGC is killing it with the agony, he needs a For Your Consideration campaign too.

"I remember nothing." I don't believe you and, unfortunately, Aemond doesn't either.

Rhaena and Joffrey come across a scorched area but they're in the Vale, who could've done that? Now she's in Aegon III and Viserys II's nursery with the boys and a baby dragon that I assume is Aegon's Stormcloud. Cute little dragon.

"You hate it here." Jeyne, you're not doing a damn thing to change her mind.

"Wild." So, are we talking Grey Ghost, the Cannibal, or Sheepstealer? Fuck, I guess this means the Rhaena-Nettles fusion rumor is true, if the wild dragon is Sheepstealer.

Rhaenyra is sending care packages to the people of KL. I fucking LOVE this!

Dammit, I don't want to like Gwayne Hightower but the actor has been making that fucking difficult. "He's kind." The delivery of that, you can tell Gwayne knows that's what Alicent wants to hear.

Rioting in the streets over Rhaenyra's care packages. Okay, maybe this was a bad idea, but it's certainly sowing rebellion.

Larys was born at Harrenhal? That explains SO MUCH. Him aligning himself with Aegon II is interesting and he's right, Aemond wants to kill his brother. Let's see where this goes.

Daemon's vision again. Looks like Aemma's death, great. I truly think Daemon loved Viserys, he was just too self-centered to express that love properly.

"Lord Grover is dead." Called it! Oh, Alys absolutely fucking killed him.

Addam and Seasmoke. Seasmoke misses Laenor and he can presumably tell that Addam is Laenor's kinsman (half-brother).

Is Seasmoke LAUGHING at Addam?

Holy fucking shit, I did not appreciate that jump scare!

Mysaria's backstory is fucking dark, even for GRRM.

Well, this is a ship I never thought I'd see on this show. I don't ship it but I'm sure there are fans out there who are absolutely thrilled right now.

Rhaenyra on Syrax, there's something we haven't seen in a while.

They're ending the episode there? We know it's Addam on Seasmoke, this isn't exactly news to the audience. Bah.

Preview for next week. "With these dragons, peace will be restored." *laughs from having read "Fire and Blood"* And they call Helaena a Dreamer.

[captainmvf]

Assorted scenarios and incorrect-quotes-ish of my casted Miitopia squads and characters I originally posted to Discord over the years. Collected under the cut.

Some of this stuff is either shippy or were made during certain events. The earliest dates back to 2019.

Thief Moroko: (honks car horn) "Get in! Losers!" Scientist Maxie: "You do have a license, right?" Thief Moroko: "Haha! License?" Thief Moroko: (crashes the car)

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Warrior MVF: "I like violence." Scientist Maxie: (sitting in the shade, drinking a smoothie) "What if I do something?"

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Flower Magnitude: (smiling widely) Flower Magnitude: "I'm always angry!"

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Cat Suiuus: "Vibe check!" Cat Suiuus: (holds rock over Magnitude's head)

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Warrior Megatron: "Aren't we best friends?" Cleric Optimus: (holding Valentina's hand) "No." Chef Valentina: "Get lost."

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Flower Magnitude: "None of you should ever be parents." Warrior MVF: "Agreed." Cat Suiuus: "I have three kids." Everyone:

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Cleric Issac: "So… I might have lost the cars…" Thief Moroko: "YOU DID WHAT?!?!?"

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Warrior MVF: "Hmm…" Great Sage Mike: "What's up?" Warrior MVF: "If you turn your staff upside down it will probably become a pogo stick or you could ride on it." Great Sage Mike: "…you've just blown my mind."

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Flower Magnitude: (shows a picture of Suiuus) "Have you seen this idiot? They knocked down one of the inn walls last night and then slept for nineteen hours."

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Great Sage Mike: "Don't tell Val I did something bad." Dark Curse Jack: "Okay." Dark Curse Jack: (tugs on Valentina's uniform) "Mike did something illegal."

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Mage Gotham Vermillion: "Normalize going to Burger King at 3 am." Mage Gotham Vermillion: "Normalize falling asleep inside the Burger King." Mage Gotham Vermillion: "NORMALIZE filling up your empty milk jugs with drinks from the sofa fountain." Mage Gotham Vermillion: "NORMALIZE FIGHTING THE MANAGER." Mage Gotham Vermillion: "NORMALIZE." Mage Gotham Vermillion: "FINDING." Mage Gotham Vermillion: "AND KILLING." Mage Gotham Vermillion: "THE BURGER KING." Flower Magnitude: "Bad day?" Mage Gotham Vermillion: "GREAT DAY."

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Flower Magnitude: "Dude… did you fucking kill someone?" Mage Gotham Vermillion: "Oh HO ho ho!" Mage Gotham Vermillion: (leaves) Flower Magnitude:

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Mage GV: "I don't kill people." Mage GV: (proceeds to traumatize millions with her unnecessary mysteries)

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Thief Moroko at the begining of the quest: "Yeah I'm a bad bith you can't kill me." Thief Moroko at the end of the quest: "You guys are actually pretty neat and I'm going to miss you all."

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Tank Aries: "What would you have done all day if you lived in a perfect world?" Thief Moroko: "I dunno, maybe stayed inside and played with a light brite."

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Thief Moroko: "Woah, we need to spruce up St. M's resolution board." (pops open a marker) Princess Blades: "Oh yeah, kill count shouldn't be on there." (also opens a marker) Thief Moroko: "'Be a good dog lover' is excellent." Princess Blades: "She already has dogs. What about 'dress cuter'?" Thief St. M: "What are you two doing?" Thief Moroko + Princess Blades: (screams)

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Great Sage Mike: "I call this one, 'Kiss the Lip'." Great Sage Mike: (tries to do a skateboard trick but trips over onto his face)

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Thief Moroko: (takes skateboard) "I'll show you how it's done!" Thief Moroko: "I skate fast and I eat a-" (tries but also lands flat on his face)

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Thief Moroko: "This shit sucks. I just want to go home and pet my dog."

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Thief Blades + Thief Red: (making arts and crafts) Thief Moroko: "Let's do crimes."

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Scientist Maxie: "I have my life together." Chef Valentina: "You tried to summon a giant lizard to expand land mass."

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Pop Star MM: (starts speaking French) Thief St. M: (speaks French back) Everyone: Princess Blades: "This whole time… MM COULD SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?!"

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Mage Yaiba: "When MVF said we should go camping I asked if there was a flat screen TV and Maxie assured me there was. When we got there and I didn't see one I asked Maxie where the TV was and he took me outside and pointed at the trees and said 'There it is! Nature's amazing entertainment!' and I am still so fucking mad bro." Scientist Maxie: Mage Yaiba: Scientist Maxie: "Are you still mad about the TV-" Mage Yaiba: "I'M NOT MAD AT THE TV."

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Dark Lord Bender: "So, it has been brought to my attention that you refer to Creation as your archenemy." Warrior MVF: "Yes." Dark Lord Bender: "Well? What did she do? I stole your teammates, tried to kill your friends, actually stole your face and your teammates faces, and caused massive havoc throughout Miitopia. I also have tried to take your face this entire year now, but it’s this woman who deserves the title?" Warrior MVF: "You have no idea how annoying she is."

Thief Moroko: "Blinking contest?" Thief Red: "You're on!" Thief Moroko + Thief Red: (rapidly blinking at one another) Thief St. M: (sipping water in the background)

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Cleric Issac: "This life is pain." Thief Red: "Have you ever flown on Air Canada?"

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Thief Moroko: (inflates a balloon) Thief St. M: Thief Moroko: (places it over Blades) Princess Blades: (sleeping) Thief St. M: Thief Moroko: (takes a knife out and pops the balloon)

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Cat Suiuus: "I'll show you a 'Vibe Check.'" Cat Suiuus: (picks up a watermelon and crushes it in their bare hands)

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Thief Red: (crying) "DOLLY PARTON WAS THE BEST SINGER!" Thief Moroko: (yelling and holding a broom above his head) "YOU FOOL! IT'S HATSUNE MIKU!"

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Vampire Candy: (playing Mario Kart) "Imagine your mom calling you a casual at video games." Thief Moroko: (also playing) "St. M does that all the time."

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Cat Suiuus: "Boneless cereal." Cat Suiuus: (slurps milk)

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Dark Curse Jack: "Dear Diary. I couldn't find my diary so I'm writing this on Mike's Kung Fu Panda 2 DVDs."

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Vampire Candy: "Check out this frog." Elf Deathly: "I have eyes." Flower Magnitude: (in the background) "We're never going to beat the Oblivion Lord and her minions like this."

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Flower Magnitude: "Name one of the largest dinosaurs." Warrior MVF: "Paleontologist." Flower Magnitude: "Well I can't argue with that."

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Scientist Maxie: "This year couldn't get worse…" Thief Moroko: "This could be Homestuck."

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Scientist Maxie: "When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying." Thief Moroko: "And?" Scientist Maxie: "You still are."

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Thief Moroko: "Stop posting cringe, bro!" Darkest Lord Mike: (smashes a fist atop of him)

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Scientist Maxie: "You are a horrid little man." Thief Moroko: "Aight." Pop Star MM: "Your food doesn't taste good…" Thief Moroko: (feels his heart shatter)

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Dark Lord Bender: "Who sent this five-year-old to fight me?!" Warrior MVF: "I'm seventeen…"

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Princess Blades: "Who's that guy in green over there?" Thief Moroko: "Oncler." Mage Yaiba: "Blocked."

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Warrior MVF: "I'm ready to fight back! I'm ready to save this world! I'm going to-" (trips on a treebranch) Dark Lord Bender: (laughs hysterically in the distance)

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Chef Valentina: "And he's an elf, and he's a vampire-" Princess Blades: "And he was a skater boy."

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Princess Blades: "He was a skater boy." Thief Moroko: "She said see you later boy." Mage Yaiba: "He wasn't good enough for her." Warrior Bumblebee: "She had a pretty face." Tank Aries: "But her head was up in space." Thief Red: "She needed to come back down to Earth."

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Warrior MVF: "All my friends are gone… Taken by the Dark Lord…" Horse: (neighs)

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Thief St. M: (throws the horse at the dark lord) Warrior MVF: (screams in despair)

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Warrior MVF: "My horsey horse,,,, my horsey frond,,, mihorseyhorrseandfriends,,,,,," Cleric Optimus + Chef Valentina + Mage Yaiba:

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Thief Moroko: "Oh God… Give me one reason to go to work in my silly little outfit…" Divine Spirit: "Birds aren't cheap, my child."

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Scientist Maxie: "I feel like I'm forgetting something." Thief St. M: "If you've forgotten then it wasn't important." Thief Moroko: (out in the rain) --- Scientist Maxie: "I remember now!" Scientist Maxie: "My water." (refills his glass) "Forgot to refill it." Chef Valentina: "Where's Moroko?" Scientist Maxie:

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Traveler: "Here's a new quest." Warrior MVF: "Cool! What do you need us to do?" Traveler: "I need a bunch of twerkies slain and-" Thief Moroko: (grabs the quest paper and eats it) "No."

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Scientist Maxie: (fighting a red dragon) "Come on! I need backup!" Princess Blades: (tapping his phone) "Just a sec! I'm feeding my Mii-opet!"

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Thief Moroko: "Wanna try on a friendship bracelet?" Scientist Maxie: (sighs) "Fine…" Thief Moroko: (handcuffs him)

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Warrior MVF: (crying in bed) "Dear God… Please give me one reason to get out of bed…" Guardian Spirit: "Horses are not cheap, my child."

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Dark Curse Jack: (loudly hammering nails into the coffee table) Great Sage Mike: "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" Dark Curse Jack: (stops hammering to look at Mike, then the table, then back at Mike) "I think it's obvious."

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Warrior MVF: "Hey Optimus, wanna see something funny?" Cleric Optimus: "No."

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Flower Magnitude: (hovering in the air due to sheer anger alone)

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Scientist Maxie: "Those are some big blade fans…" Princess Blades: "I AM A HELICOPTER."

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Warrior MVF: "God works in mysterious ways THROUGH YOU. I get it though." Scientist Maxie: "That's horrible advice."

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Warrior MVF: "WHY DID YOU DO THIS?!" White Sage: "I don't know, I'm a little freak."

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Flower Magnitude: "Hey you wanna try some of my pink lemonade?" Cat Suiuus: "Of course!" (dips entire hand in and licks it) Flower Magnitude:

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Flower Magnitude: (having a good time, drinking tea) Warrior Bumblebee: (crashes through the window) "WE NEED TO BORROW SOME MONEY!" Flower Magnitude:

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Warrior MVF: "Wait. You're invited to the new playthrough?" Flower Magnitude: "Nope. Elton John challenged me to a fight. I can't make it."

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Mage Will: (driking Banshee Tears) Pop Star Quince: "YOU MELTED A BANSHEE?! YOU SICK FREAK!"

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Chef Valentina: (injured in bed) "Listen. No time to explain. Get my keys and use the small one to open up a chest downstairs. There's tickets to the cafe next Wednesday, call MVF to tell her that they're for her." Thief Moroko + Scientist Maxie: Chef Valentina: "Listen ass clowns. Just open the chest and get the tickets." Scientist Maxie: "What kind of medication are you on?" Thief Moroko: "I'll get the doctor-" Thief Moroko + Scientist Maxie: (get bonked on the head)

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Cat Fluffy: "I can deny it no longer!" Cat Fluffy: "I am small."

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Dark Lord Bender: "You're just a little hater." Warrior MVF: "Yeah? And?"

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Mage Will: (laying in the middle of the forest) "…" Thief Grimsley: (naruto sprints behind him) Mage Will: 'I may have a mask but I can still see.'

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Warrior Clover: "Grimsley's hair makes him look like a catboy." Mage Will: "You're insane."

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Thief Grimsley: "I've been writing a book, you see." Imp Quince: "Really? What's it about?" Thief Grimsley: "It has an unreliable narrator. The main character is but a middle schooler." Warrior Clover: "Really? Does he have a favorite food?" Thief Grimsley: "Well, I can't say that for now, but he hates thinking about touching this cheese in his school's yard." Mage Will: "…is he a wimpy kid?"

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Imp Quince: "I'm sorry. Who are you guys?" Team Starshine: Scientist Maxie: "We came into your grandfather's restaurant all the time." Imp Quince: "Right…" Warrior MVF: "We have 'Favorite Customer' cards." Thief St. M: "They also count as organ donor cards." Imp Quince: "Oh. He warned me about you guys. Threats of violence and refusal to pay bills." Pop Star MM: "He remembered us!"

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Genie Archie: Scientist Maxie: (gunning it across Miitopia just to argue with him) --- Cleric Optimus: "…where did Maxie go?" Thief St. M: "He scented a rival in the wind."

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Cat Fluffy: (dancing while on the rowboat) Cleric Oblivion: "You shouldn't do that." Cat Fluffy: Cleric Oblivion: Cat Fluffy: (dances harder)

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Imp Quince: "Okay gang. We gotta infiltrate the Dark Lord's castle. It's disguise time." Everyone: (dressed up in E Boy/Girl gear as a sick guitar rift plays)

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Imp Quince: "Heya boy! Ready to ride off to save our friends?" Horse Saturn: 'H̿͛ͣg̥̼͇j̗͇͎v͍̘̝g͔̦̺ã̹͈̠d̲̭̹K͊̔A͚ͥB̫͈̽K̈͋J̞͓̦k̻̟͖b̗̞̱j̻͍͕ḣ̺̪̦A̖̮̗f̲̥͈ḳ̜̻̼b͊͂ͩj͈̟̦b͍͚͙.' Imp Quince: Imp Quince: "Haha! That's right!"

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Great Sage Mike: "Awwww. : ( You're all alone? You're just a kid? Come on, I'm your big brother now and we'll get some ice cream." Warrior MVF: "Yeah this is weird but okay." --- Great Sage Folur: "What you got hurt again? You going to cry? Going to tear someone apart? Fall down a canyon?" Imp Quince: "Why do you hurt me so."

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Cat Fluffy: "Hey whatever happened to that other thief?" Thief Moroko: "Oh, uh, St. M left on a cruise to travel around the world." Cleric Oblivion: "That's odd. I heard she hated water." Cleric Optimus: "And water." Chef Valentina: "And the world."

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Imp Quince: "Yes. These are my Neksdor teammates. Yes they are all goth." Cat Fluffy + Scientist Ghostworx + Cleric Oblivion:

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Thief Moroko: "Okay WELL I guess I'll meet you in front of Lotus Lake." Thief Moroko: (skedaddles away at breakneck speed) "HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!"

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Flower Daë: "Do you have any regrets?" Thief Grimsley: "Absolutely! Thanks for asking."

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Mage Will: "Making breakfast for my beautiful teammate!" Thief Grimsley: "Who the fuck is burning down the kitchen?"

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Imp Quince: "Come on Lear!" (trying to pick up a fifty lbs barbel) "Time to pump some muscle!" Princess Lear: "No."

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Ghostworx: "Got ya a gift." (throws a bar of soap at Oblivion)

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Ghostworx: "I hate you all so much." Ghostworx: "Except you Moroko. You're the worst." Thief Moroko: "You can say light things like that now that you have skin. Say one more mean thing and you will regret it." Ghostworx: "I already regret skin. I never wanted this."

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Tank Augustin: (rowing the boat) Princess Lear: "…your backside is on fire." Tank Augustin: Princess Lear: Tank Augustin: (visibly smoking)

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Tank Augustin: "I got a surprise for you!" (holds out a dead spider cricket) Princess Lear: (screaming)

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Imp Quince + Tank Augustin: Princess Lear: (surrounded by gold) "Quit staring, I'll buy anything you need."

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Imp Quince: "Yeah! Just me and the boys!" Tank Augustin: :D Princess Lear: "…" Flower Daë: :) MFF Michael: (hard stare)

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Thief Moroko: "Hah! You have legs! I can run faster than you!" Scientist Ghostworx: "Oh yeah…" (kicks him)

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Warrior MVF: "What up!" Pop Star Ti Gold: "Anyone want pizza? It's on me." Flower Magnitude: "…" Imp Quince: "Oh boy people."

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Thief Grimsley: "Bending a spoon with my hands is the same as bending a spoon with my mind. I use my mind to control my hands, you see."

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Cat Fluffy: "You look like someone who buys cryptocurrency." Scientist Ghostworx: (injured on the ground) "Just tell me to kys already…" (/s)

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Thief Grimsley: (crouches down in front of cigarettes and a long string of pepperoni) Thief Grimsley: "What kind of idiot would lose a fresh pack of smokes, a lighter, and a big fucking piece of pepperoni?" [The trip wire under the cigarettes and pepperoni is plucked.] Thief Grimsley: "Right on- What the fuck?" [Explosion.]

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Imp Quince: "I cannot attend work today. I must buy twenty-eight lightbulbs at Home Depot."

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Mage Will: "Awww! You're radiant oday, Saturn!" Saturn: "Kill." Mage Will:

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Thief Grimsley: (gets his face back) Imp Quince: "YES! I'm so glad to see you aga-" Thief Grismley: (leans in really close to Quince and whispers) "They took my fucking eyes."

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Princess Lear + Scientist Ghostworx: (smacking each other in an argument) Tank Augustin: (smacks himself to feel included)

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Princess Lear: "I forgot my wallet." Mage Will: "What a joke! I have as well." Thief Red, the bartender: (starring at them)

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Scientist Maxie: "I can't beleive we're all not original characters…" Will + Grimsley + Lear + Archie + Optimus + Megatron + Rung + Blades + Bumblebee + Ti Gold + MM + Valentina + Mike + Bender + Judith + Michael + Laurie: (nodding, resigned) Scientist Maxie: "Well! I suppose that is everyone!" Tank Augustin:

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Imp Quince: "Alright. If you were leader what would you propose?" Warrior Clover: "More team building exercises." Mage Will: "We teleport." Thief Grimsley: "More bees." Cat Fluffy: "More fish." Scientist Ghostworx: "Nothing." Cleric Oblivion: "Don't pick me." Tank Augustin: "More time to beat up evil!" Princess Lear: "You get to look at me." Flower Daë: "Better dreams." :) --- Mage Will + Thief Grimsley: (walking away from the scuffle) Mage Will: "I can't believe you tried to beat up a cat." Thief grimsley: (wet, smells like fish, and has a few bee stings) "Maybe she should keep her mouth shut." Cat Fluffy: (a meter away)

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Scientist Ghostworx: "Nobody wins but me." Scientist Ghostworx: "Excellent."

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Cat Fluffy + Thief Moroko: (looking over a boulder) Terror Fiends: (starring at them) Thief Moroko: "Okay. I got a plan. It's what my teammates did with me when they needed to slam a direct hit." Cat Fluffy: "Excellent. What's the pla-" Thief Moroko: (throws Fluffy at the Terror Fiends)

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Vampire Candy: (crying) "ALL OF YOU ARE HORRIBLE!" Cat Fluffy + Scientist Ghostworx + Princess Lear: "Googoogaga." Imp Quince: "Hit 'em with the googoogaga!" Cat Fluffy + Scientist Ghostworx + Princess Lear: (beating up a minotaur)

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Imp Quince: (being mad) Flower Daë: "JESUS CHRIST YOU'VE BEEN MAD FOR A WHOLE MONTH AT WILL JUST STOP-" (uses Restoring Whistle)

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Thief Grimsley: (playing Rock Paper Scissors with the bot) Arcade Bot: "Oh dear. Stop! You've run me dry!" B( Thief Grimsley: (taking his fortune) "Why, no need to feel down." Mage Will: (been projecting the correct answers into his head throughout all the rounds)

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Scientist Ghostworx: "You all have no idea how much work I put into this team." Princess Lear: "Oh really now? How much work?" Scientist Ghostworx: "Self-restraint."

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Tank Augustin: "Why did you do it?" Cat Fluffy: "For the money."

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Darker Lord Mike: Chef Valentina: "Blue Michael." Thief Moroko: "Cotton-Candy Lord of Darkness." Mage Yaiba: "Cookie Monster." Princess Blades: "Neon Blue Bad Hair Day." Warrior MVF: "Blue Man." Darker Lord Mike: (tearing up)

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Dark Lord Hope: "Oh? You play music. How amusing-" Princess Lear: (plays the first four notes of Megalovania on a piano) Dark Lord Hope: (explodes)

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Warrior MVF: (packing her bags) Cat Suiuus: '?' "What'cha doin' there, sport?" Warrior MVF: "I'm going to go watch someone get beaten up by a chocolate bar this seventeenth!"

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Cat Suiuus: "Yesterday I had my first ever thought."

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Team Starshine: (getting interrogated by police) Thief St. M: "You will find that none of us will talk." Warrior MVF: "And there's this Dark Lord who's super mean and he took all my friends and I've been trying to get us to save the world so we can go home and this Quizmaster who might not exist and-"

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Flower Magnitude: (beaten up but still standing) "Fun Fact: Elton John does not have any eyes behind his funny shades." Flower Magnitude: (wipes away some blood from their face) "You don't want to know how I found that out." Flower Magnitude: Flower Magnitude: "I took them off of his face… with a punch." Flower Magnitude: "Maybe."

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Princess Lear: Princess Blades: Princess Lear: Princess Blades: Princess Lear: "You're old." Princess Blades: (snaps)

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Imp Quince: (lazily scrolling through the TV channels) His Team: (watching him) Warrior Clover: "…don't you wanna go adventuring today?" Imp Quince: "Meh." Cleric Oblivion: "You've been like this all summer." Flower Daë: "Come on. Let's do a summer thing before it's over." Scientist Ghostworx: "We could die." Princess Lear: "We will not die." Imp Quince: "Let the Darker Lord take a few more places. I'm gonna eat more ice crea-" Mage Will: (shakes him)

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Dark Lord Hope: "That horse…" Saturn: Dark Lord Hope: "His smug aura mocks me…"

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Dark Lord Hope: "If he's your Great Sage then why's his leitmotif part of my later theme?" Imp Quince: "Your what?" Darker Lord Folur: Imp Quince: (squeaks)

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Princess Lear: "You can't hurt me! We're on the same team!" Scientist Ghostworx: (breaks their glass beaker and threatens Lear with it) "Don't fucking try me."

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Imp Quince: "Miss anyone from where you're from?" Tank Augustine: "Oh yeah!" (starts to gush) "Besides my niece and service dog, I'm always working with this man who has a cat and he's very scratchy on the eyes but he's very sweet! One time I baked him some breakfast for work and he was so flabbergasted that he didn't speak to me the whole day! He's also a cyborg like me and has these bulks forearms with claws and spikes-" Imp Quince: "Claws?" Tank Augustine: "Yep! That's also his last name!" Imp Quince: Tank Augustine: "He's also a doctor!" Imp Quince: 'I don't wanna go to a doctor named Claw what the fuuuuuuuu-'

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Tank Augustin: (rewiring the circuits in his arms, humming) Scientist Ghostworx: 'I wonder how he came to be part machine… I could have easily possessed his mechanical parts in my older body…' Cat Fluffy: (pokes Augustin) "Hey. How did you get to be like that?" Tank Augustin: "Oh this?" (closes arm) "I slipped on a banana peel." Scientist Ghostworx: Cat Fluffy: "What the fuck." Tank Augustin: "Right into a hamburger meat processor." Scientist Ghostworx: 'We are only meat now… Makes sense.' Cat Fluffy: (nods) "Banana peels are no joke."

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Vampire Candy + Vampire Maddox: Imp Quince: ’Oh no.’

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Team Starshine: “You guys had to beat up the sun too?” Team Electric: “Yeah and we got this weird mad scientist who needed a face.” Team Starshine: “No shit!”

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Dark Curse Perenelle: “I am so full of rage as to what the people of the sands did to me and my husband.” Flower Daë: ’She’s cute in a mad science-y kind of way.’

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Dark Curse Perenelle: “What’s with the Elder God?” Imp Quince: “You mean Ghostworx? They’re harmless.” Dark Curse Perenelle: “No your fucking horse.” Imp Quince: “Saturn? He’s our love and joy, our baby, our-“ Horse? Saturn: “Shush. The Eldest is listening.” Imp Quince:

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YFF Laurie: (asleep) MFF Michael: (shakes her awake) YFF Laurie: "ERF- Michael!" MFF Michael: (signs) 'Can you take me to Cracker Barrel?'

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Princess Blades: "YOWCH!" (holds his wrist) "My wirst ouch! Ouch! I think I put too much strain on it…" Warrior MVF: "Oh no!" (looks at his wrist) "Aww… Let's get you some ice." --- Princess Lear: "WOAH! OUCH!" (holds his wrist) "I think I twisted it or something… Ouch…" Imp Quince: "So? I'm not holding your hand."

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Tank Augustine: "If shorts are called shorts then why aren't pants called 'longs'." Mage Will: "Damn. That. That fucked me up. I need a break."

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Princess Blades: "Hit the SLAY button." Princess Lear: (unconscious on the floor)

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Genie Archie: "You order will be out shortly." Princess Lear: "Epic win!" Genie Archie: "…your order has been delayed."

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Imp Quince: "-and I just feel like I'm not up to the task and I'm going to fail and-" Great Sage Folur: (pondering his orb) "Uhuh…"

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Scientist Ghostworx: “Imagine if this world was a video game and our survival was dependent on Quince.” Cat Fluffy: “You’ve been watching too much YouTube go take a nap.”

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Imp Quince: "Maddox! Distract those fiends!" Vampire Maddox: "You got it, boss!" (starts ham-boning and doing a lil dance with his legs) Fiends: (starring)

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Thief St. M: Scientist Ghostworx: Thief St. M: 'Punk.' Scientist Ghostworx: 'Edgelord.'

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Saturn: (playing Horse Plinko and winning)

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Tank Fort Max: "You have my gun." Tank Aries: "And my gun!" Tank Augustine: "And my gun!"

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Tank Augustine: "Uh oh!" Tank Augustine: (loads a glock) "I'm out of MP!"

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Pop Star Electra: (new picture of desktop space with two monitors and a 'Lit' neon sign) "New setup." Imp CB: "Ut." Pop Star Electra: "Not what it says."

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Tank GB: (looks at Dinah) "My lovely queen…." Tank GB: (looks at CB) "And who could forget dear rat boy?" Imp CB:

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Great Sage Momma: "What would you like for Christmas, Rusty dear?" 'He's such a good champion, I bet he's wishing for peace and hope for all the world-' Warrior Rusty: "A PSVista." Great Sage Momma: "…" 'PSVista…'

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Warrior Rusty + Flower Ashley + Tank Greaseball + Thief Moroko: (sitting in the inn) Flower Ashley: "Aren't we supposed to be doing something?" Elsewhere- Quizmaster Magnitude: (collapsed on the ground, surrounded by coffee beans)

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Imp CB: "I SUMMON POT OF GREED TO DRAW THREE ADDITIONAL CARDS FROM MY DECK." Genie BV: "That’s not what it does." Imp CB: "ROLL MY DICE!" (throws dice at the wall) "THAT IS WHAT IT DOES! POT OF GREED- DRAW THREE- I SUMMON POT OF GREED TO DRAW THREE ADDITIONAL CARDS FROM MY DECK. AND I SUMMON POT OF GREED TO DRAW THREE ADDITIONAL CARDS FROM MY DECK. THEN I PLAY MAGIC FORCE, WHICH ALLOWS ME TO PLAY POT OF GREED ONCE AGAIN TO DRAW THREE ADDITIONAL CARDS FROM MY DECK." Tank Greaseball: "You know he’s right." Genie BV: "And I attack and I win, right?" Imp CB: "NO." Genie BV: "You don’t have any- you don’t have any monsters." Imp CB: "OH HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE HERE." (summons Cat Suiuus) Genie BV: "What?!" Warrior Rusty: "Aw you got the Celtic Guardian." Imp CB: "MY TURN, I SUMMON DARK MADI- MAGICIAN!" (summons Mage Yaiba) "I ALSO SUMMON JACK’S KNIGHT." (summons Warrior Clover) Genie BV: "What, how? You can’t summon a bunch of cards on one turn, that’s against the rules!" Imp CB: "YOU NEVER SAW THIS COMING, I SUMMON POT OF GREED TO DRAW THREE ADDITIONAL CARDS FROM MY DECK." Genie BV: "That’s not what it does! It doesn’t do that!" Pop Star Electra: "That is what it does!" Genie BV: "It doesn’t-" Cleric Pearl: "I play Michael Jordan in… attack position!" Imp CB: "THAT’S WHAT- THAT’S WHAT IT DO, BV!" Chef Buffy: "That does what it do!"

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Warrior Rusty: (comes back to his room at the inn) "…?!" Imp CB: (in the room already) "Surprise! Man, you have got to get a better lock on your window." [The window is shattered.] Warrior Rusty:

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Horse Saturn: (nudges Quince) Imp Quince: “??” Horse Saturn: (puts an egg into Quince’s hand) Imp Quince: ‘Egg…’

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Princess Poppy Blood: "Dear Quince, Do NOT come to the castle. I baked an absolute dog shit cake. Just absolutely fucked it up. I'm so sorry -- Best wishes, Poppy."

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Tank Augustin: (keeps missing the moles) Tank Augustin: (shaking in anger) Tank Augustin: "Go-Go-Gadget Never Find the Bodies."

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Thief Grimsley: "Hey if I was going through smething would you guys be there for me?" 😔 👉 👈 Thief Moroko: "No." Thief St. M: "No." Thief X YZ: "No."

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Warrior Megatron: "I've been reading your blog. Are you transgender?" Cleric Optimus:

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[Team Starlight is facing a sleeping dragon.] Tank Greaseball: "Don't say a word." Pop Star Electra: "...fergalicious." Tank Greaseball: "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Pop Star Electra: "Oh so when I play it at Scrabble it's not a word but it is now?"

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Princess Lear: "WE have all of the pronouns now!" (He/Him) Imp Quince: "What the FUCK are you guys talking about?!?!" ( / ) Cat Fluffy: "It's $500 for new pronouns." (She/Her) Scientist Ghostworx: "Pay up." (They/Them)

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Imp CB: "Apartment complex? I find it quite simple." Imp Quince: "You're telling me a shrimp fried this rice?" Warrior MVF: "Based? Based on what?"

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Imp Quince: "Bitches." Scientist Ghostworx + Cat Fluffy + Princess Lear: (idle, not paying attention) "What?" Imp Quince: "Kill." Scientist Ghostworx + Cat Fluffy + Princess Lear: (abruptly snap to attention to go attack the monster)

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Imp Quince: "Let's get right into the action!" (pokes Saturn for Horse Whispering) Saturn: (shocked) 'You POKE Saturn?! You STAB Saturn?! JAIL! Jail for a THOUSAND YEARS-!!!' Saturn: (dragging Quince away by the back of his outfit) 💢 Imp Quince: (screaming)

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Quizmaster Magnitude: "Okay Rusty! You ready to take home all the gold in this bonus round?" Warrior Rusty: "You bet I am!" Quizmaster Magnitude: "Radical! Here is your question: What is E-Y-E-S?" Warrior Rusty:

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Quizmaster Magnitude: "My questions are NOT that hard!" Quizmaster Magnitude: "Now identify this rock for your prize of five bananas!"

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Great Sage Momma: "Well Rusty, it's Pride Month. You know what that means." (begins to walk away) Warrior Rusty: "What? Huh? You want us to save gay faces?"

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Warrior Rusty: "I'm sad..." Mailman: (starts to beatbox) Warrior Rusty: "Stop."

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Warrior Rusty: "What do we get if we win?" Quizmaster Mags: (holding up a bundle of bananas) "Five bananas." Scientist Coco: "And if we lose?" Quizmaster Mags: "One banana." Warrior Rusty: (whispering to his teammates) "The stakes are high..."

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Warrior Rusty: (waking up after being knocked out) "Guh....." Warrior MVF + Chef Valentina + Great Sage Mike + Tank GB + Imp Joe: (hovering over him) "You okay? What's the last thing you remember?" Warrior Rusty: "I remember... The Alamo..." All: (cheer)

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Thief Moroko: "Oh, so you like trains? Name every train." Warrior Rusty: (cracks knuckles)

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[Horse neighing in the distance.] Scientist Maxie: "Someone's stealing that horse!" Chef Valentina: "Quick, MM! Call the cops while we help!" Pop Star MM: "Okay- Oh, cops are bad, actually…" (starts dialing the Dark Lord)

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Tomato Bros: (spits up ketchup) Tank Greaseball: (swallows it whole and regains HP) Tomato Bros: Warrior Rusty: Flower Ashley: Thief Moroko: Tank Greaseball: "…I like tomatoes."

. Chef Dinah: "Knowing what you know now, what year of your life would you return to?" Tank GB: "September tenth. Two-thousand and one." Chef Dinah: "…please take this seriously." Imp CB: "I would go to six million years into the past to reverse evolutionary results." Chef Dinah: "You weren't even alive then!" Warrior Rusty: "I second September." Chef Dinah: "NO!!!" Warrior Rusty: "September of two-thousand and fourteen. I wanna play Five Nights at Freddy's for the first time again." Chef Dinah: "Oh?" Chef Buffy: "I want that too!" Chef Buffy: "Where would you go, Di?" Chef Dinah: "I'd go to my final class of baking school to redo my final of course!" ✨ Pop Star Electra: "I would go back to the year of February eleven, twenty-twelve to stop Whitney Houston from-" Warrior Rusty: "WE'RE IN A KID-FRIENDLY GAME!"

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Dark Lord Bender: "RAHAHAH! I'm on the cusp of victory here, meatbags!" Warrior MVF: "You haven't won yet... NOW! MM!" Pop Star MM: "Ultimate Attack!" (puts her mic in her mouth and makes horrible noises) Dark Lord Bender: (gets hit with horrendous mic feedback)

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Extra ship interactions:

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Cleric Issac, trying to flirt: "So, uh, hehe, are you a big spoon or little spoon?" Thief St. M: "I'm a knife."

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Mage Will + Thief Grimsley: (on a date looking at the stars) Thief Grimsley: "The stars are beautiful night…" Mage Will: "Yes!" Thief Grimsley: "Do you know what else is beautiful?" Mage Will: "The 30% Discount at the Traveler's Hub."

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Flower Magnitude: "…" Princess ???: "What?" Flower Magnitude: "Can you take off your shades just this once?" Princess ???: "Fine." (takes off shades) Flower Magnitude: Princess ???: Flower Magnitude: "You're actually kind of ugly."

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Thief St. M: (sniffing) "Something is burning." Cleric Issac: "Just my love for you…" Thief St. M: (staring at a burning toaster)

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Thief Grimsley: "Life dropped an epic husband, the rarest of its loot table, and I was lucky enough to win the need roll." Mage Will: "I love you but please don't say that in public."

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Genie Archie: Scientist Maxie: "WHY ARE YOU BIG?!" ///

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Amibo Lover Wysteria: "Look! Someone's so happy to see you!" Quizmaster Magnitude: "?" (turns to see where Wysteria is gesturing) Imp Joe: (tail wagging so violently it decimates the bushes he's next to) "/////////" Quizmaster Magnitude: "//////"

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Pop Star Electra: ✨ Tank Greaseball: "////////////" Warrior Rusty: (slides up next to Greaseball) "Tell him 'You have beautiful eyes.'" Tank Greaseball: "Thanks." (turns to Electra) "I have beautiful eyes."