#i am historically Bad At Explaining Things

[wakeup01]

Dronezoned

“As you can see here, the ancient Egyptians once believed that mummification was a form of…” The narrator droned on from the television speaker.

“Sigh.” Rae bemoaned next to you on the couch, with exasperation. “Bud, I hate to say it, but I think I’m demoting you to drone status.” The TV suddenly switches off, half way through the latest episode of ‘Historic World’.

“What….I….why?” You sit up in a panic and glance across at your young friend. You had met him a couple of months back and found him immediately charming, and admittedly, rather cute. But it quickly became clear how high maintenance and demanding the 24 year old could be. A fact that was solidified when he had described his expectations of his friends, and the consequences of letting him down.

He turns towards you momentarily, his piercing eyes affording you a second of their time before he leans back and stretches his arms. “Look, you’re just not great ‘best friend’ material. Weekly episodes of ‘Historic World’ topped with yet another superhero movie? Death would be a more exciting prospect. Face it, you’re kinda boring.” Rae places a hand softly upon your shoulder, as if he was delivering bad news about a family member. “Even Charlie had more going for him, and he liked painting those little models. Now? Now he’s a drone that likes being my big butt’s seat. You understand.” Rae smiled at you warmly, it was a look that scarcely disguised the weight of his words.

“No—please! I can do better. Give me a chance to prove myself. I don’t want to be like the oth—others.” You stammer erratically, recalling the time he proudly showed you his previous bff ‘rejects’. Imagining the same thing happening to you causes you to shudder.

“See, this is what I’m talking about. ‘Give me a chance to prove myself’. Wah wah. Dull as dishwater dude. I gave you a shot and it just doesn’t work.” Rae explains with fake resignation, slowly getting to his feet. “Oh well, let’s get this over with then.”

“Just wait. Bud—we can work this-“

*snap*

Your pleas immediately screech to a holt, like slamming the brakes at a red light. His snapping fingers inexplicably steal your undivided attention. Your eyes going crosseyed at his outstretched hand.

“Engage. Stand up.” You go to laugh, but your legs involuntarily lift you from the couch. “Good. Face towards me.”

“R—Rae! What’s ha—happening? Why am—“

“Talking mode off.” Your mouth snaps shut the second the words leave his lips. “Dude. I kinda thought this might be the case. I had you chipped about a month back. You know, when you thought you got stung by a bee. God, you were annoying then too.”You wriggle slightly on the spot as he openly chastises your apparent ‘inadequacies’. “Makes this whole tedious ordeal much easier. Now, come on, be a good drone and take those clothes off before we both die from sheer boredom.”

You tell yourself you will absolutely not strip in front of your attractive friend. What you tell yourself and what your body does, however, is a different matter. Your hands feverishly remove every item of clothing as if you were on fire.

“I’ve never seen you move with such excitement before. Sure you’re not into this already? Your dick is hard bud, how humiliating.” You blush as you feel cold air brush against your nethers. “Hm? Maybe you want to be my ddf, my dumb drone forever? Hehe.” He teases while trying to hold back a wide grin.

He walks up to your frozen body and snaps a metal ring like device around your neck. It tightens against your body. “Trust me dude, you’ll be much better like this. More…interesting.” Your eyes follow a shimmering wave of squeaking rubber as it travels down from your neck, passing over your chest and stretching over your groin. Turning everything it touches into smooth plastic. Your dick begins to swell to a unbelievable size, feeling like the most intense erection of your life. Your cock embarrassingly hardens, bounces and slaps against your stomach. You see the flared tip pointing up at you, the sunlight reflecting off its unnatural surface. There was no denying it, it looked like a plastic sex toy. For all intents and purposes, your dick was a huge rubber dildo. Your veins were moulded onto the shape.

The wave travels all the way down to your feet, encasing your toes in the slick substance. Your new shiny skin felt too tight for your body, as if it was being vacuumed sealed. It pushes on you until your physique begins to match the other drones Rae had shown you. Giving you a basic set of abs on a slim frame, and inflating your butt into a firm round bubble. Rae sure had a type…

The rubber slips between your enlarged butt cheeks and invades your entrance. Your insides are coated and ribbed, becoming a slick chute with a clear purpose. Your body instinctively pushes your hips out, making your rear entrance spread out enticingly behind you. The humorous pose - much to your own chagrin, felt comfortable and befitting for your newly uneven body proportions. You were essentially a living fuck doll, inside and out.

Humiliating as it was - standing to attention, with your butt on display at your friend’s whims; you really needed to cum. You’d surrender just about anything right now to blow a load. You needed relief from this aching, pulsing sensation that racked the space between your legs. Teetering on the edge, a single touch would cause you to explode. Hell, a light breeze would probably suffice. The dull throbbing made your groin subtly rut back and forth at the air, trying to find some feedback.

Attempting to keep yourself together, you momentarily shake away the pleasure coming from your dildo. You cringe as you look pleadingly at Rae, praying that he’ll reconsider. Or maybe just let you cum at least…

“No, no this doesn’t work for me. Bleh. Sorry bud, but I’m revoking your facial privileges.”

‘My what’, you think, before the answer quickly presents itself. The sensation was like no other, feeling your lips meld together, ears flattening against your head. And then, then your face effortlessly smoothes over, like a wave washing over it, blurring all the details as your features fade into the rubber. The hair on your scalp slips free and falls to the carpet like a wig. Your face had been left completely blank, like a mannequin.

“Go on, feel it. It’s amazing.”

On request, your fingers run across your face. Your plasticised skin is incredibly sensitive. Senses had seemingly been enhanced. Every touch sends a jolt to your oversized dick. You desperately try and find your mouth, your nose….your eyes. But it’s like stroking the surface of a rubber ball. You had been stripped of your identity! A burst of anxiety overwhelms you, but at the same time, a weird sense of contentment. Your face, it was, it was gone. Blank. Anonymous. Smooth. Smooth. So unbelievably smooth. It felt….nice.

“Let’s see…you look the part. Now lets demote that whole ‘friendship’ status. I think you’re ready to be wiped. That ‘blah’ personality needs to go. Say goodbye ‘bud’. Drone. Purge.”

For a millisecond you wonder what he means and then your back stiffens like a plank, the most intense pleasure shoots up your groin and is expelled out of your rubberised dildo dick.

PURGE.

You climax on command. Cum splashes across your sleek chest and showers around you. Your mind is drowned in a fuzzy haze of pure horniness, one that shows no sign of clearing. A whirlpool swirls in your head, washing away the thoughts caught in its pull. No post nut clarity greets you as you lose yourself to the emptiness. Quite literally lose yourself, your identity and everything you ever held true squirted out of your dildo. Your dull, barely noteworthy personality dribbling down onto the floor into an embarrassingly small pool.

P U R G E.

You attempt to think, to think of anything. To bring forth a single concept, an idea. But it’s all for naught. There is *nothing* to think about. Not a single idea left in your brainwashed head. Quite literally washed, washed clean. Your mind is stuffed with pure nothingness, thoughtlessness, an overwhelming absence that fills you to your core and becomes everything you are and ever will be. You are no longer a person, an ���It’. A thing. A husk. ‘You’ are gone.

YOU ARE PURGED.

YOU ARE DRONE.

IT IS ACTIVATED.

“Drone wiped.” A monotone voice announces. Yours? It sounded like it was coming out of a small speaker. After all, drones don’t have mouths. “Relationship demotion complete. Drone status achieved.”

“Geez. About time…” your fr—master groans, rolling his eyes.

The concept of ‘friend’ was now unknown to you, friendship was something between two equals. You were not equal. A single word takes precedent over your mind. OWNER. He was your owner. A master of charm and taste. He was perfect in every conceivable way. Every facet of his being was mesmerising. You were awestruck to even share the same space as him. He was everything. And you were just his simple drone.

“Yeah, this suits you much better. What’s your new designation, drone?”

“Drone AS032. Sir.”

“Yeaaaaaahhh. I’m not gonna remember all that. I guess I could write it down, but eh. Why bother? I gave up on distinguishing my individual drones a while back. There’s just too many at this point. You’ll all identical anyway.” He shrugs apathetically.

“Of course S—Sir” You reply, stuttering slightly. Was that really all you were? All you were…to him? Surely you were better than all the others. You feel a sudden swell of concern hit you, something felt wrong.

“Oh. Still resisting there? Impressive, but I know a little trick that’ll help. Wanna see?” Rae steps forward and then reaches down to your groin. With a loud *pop* he removes your ridiculous looking cock. Simultaneously, you feel a similar pop in your head, like a radical change in air pressure. It felt amazing, a permanent sensation of being high. Floating like a balloon in the sky, filled with nothing but air. Your doubts dissipate faster than they appeared. Of course you were just a simple toy, how could you think otherwise? Just look at your cock. It was unmistakably a dildo. Your cartoonishly large balls were fused to the base, looking full. You could feel them in his hand, his fingers brushing over the hardened surface. Every touch was a lesson in frustration; feeling on the cusp of relief but the possibility being completely denied. Without the phallic protrusion, your groin was just smooth shiny plastic with an unremarkable bump.

“Cock toy detached.” You announce redundantly, while Rai marvels at your enlarged plastic rod. He places it down beside the couch, the tip pointing straight up as it sits on the flat base.

“See, that’s better. Drone. Activate service mode.” A pleasant tingle converges on your head, filling it with an intense desire of subservience. To submit without question. “Loosen rear entry. Hm, you’re so much more interesting like this. Don’t you agree Drone?”

“Yes sir. It exists to serve.” You obey, pulling apart your cheeks with your hands as your ribbed pleasure hole automatically stretches wide.

“Whatever. I just need to fuck you and then we’re done.” Rae remarks coldly, removing his clothes. The sight of his bare muscled chest is only a reminder of his superiority, you couldn’t help but feel amazed in its presence. That was doubly true when all 8 inches of his glorious dick rose into view. Unlike your own, his was demonstrably *real*; something you would soon have proven to you firsthand.

“Yes sir.” You repeat. Betraying no hint of personality. Incapable of saying anything else. Your body leans forward slightly while master Rae’s hands roughly grip your sides. Whatever small part of your old self that might remain is about to be fucked, fucked throughly out of existence. That little voice - no longer in control, would have to sit and watch themselves be initiated into their new role as a glorified sex doll.

“Darn. I always forget something.” Master bends you further over, and then subsequently pushes something cold against your hips. “A drone isn’t complete without fuck handles. You know, for when you get FUCKED.” You don’t see them, but you can feel a set of pliable rubber bars fuse to your body. His fingers then wrap around them, positioning you like you were a mere toy. The anticipation was palpable.

And then it just happens. Without a word, Rae dispassionately fucks you from behind. His thick cock easily sliding back and forth without resistance. Only the plapping of your plastic rear echoes in the room. He uses you in the same way one would use a fleshlight. That was basically what you were after all. With a lone grunt, master unceremoniously cums inside you, his seed filling up your rear cavity. He hastily pulls out and lets his juice slowly slide out from between your huge round cheeks. You continue to just stand there, joyously being debased as you feel your hole become frustratingly empty. Empty like your head.

“Well done, drone. Here’s a reward.” The compliment lit your tiny world alight with satisfaction.

With a sudden jolt, Master Rae kindly pushes your own dildo cock into your rear, your balls resting against your smooth parted cheeks. You could feel it nestled inside of you, as if you were fucking yourself. It was - to put it simply, an odd sensation. Your body couldn’t help but rock slightly back and forth, pushing your rear outward before clenching around your shaft. The slightest of movements brought about unbelievable pleasure to your hardened rod, but there was still no sign of relief. It did, however, make sure to keep you appropriately docile. You desperately needed to be given instructions.

“It exists to serve.” You admit once again with complete submission to your flawless

owner. He had successfully claimed you as his own. Standing with your legs together and your cock throbbing inside your ass.

“Sigh. I guess. Drone…footstool mode.” Rae utters with pure indifference as he sits back down on the couch, turning the television on again. “At least now you have some use.”

“And that’s how they became what pop culture commonly refers to them as…” The shows flat narrator continues before the channel quickly switches, being replaced by the sounds of a loud action scene and gunfire bouncing around the room.

“Yes sir.” You fall to your knees in front of him as he leans back in his seat. Your dildo is lodged further up your hole. His legs lift and rest his big feet on your nulled face. Even without a physical nose you can still smell his sweaty boy soles. You were proud he deemed you worthy of such a honour. The scent makes your dildo cock rhythmically pulse inside you. Your body locks into position, seizing up like a statue. Your arms lifting up to hold his legs in place. He turns the television up and completely disregards your existence below him as he taints you with his foot stench. You were just happy to be of use to your master. To worship him like a god. You would stay here for eternity if he asked you to. Not that you would have a choice anyway.

….

“Oh crap, look at the time. It’s been half an hour already.” Rae sits up, shoving his ripe toes over your head. “Damn. You know where the other drones are kept right? I’m sure there’s space in there for one more mindless, obedient, pathetic reject drone. And hurry up. I’ve got a new best friend candidate coming by and you already stink of feet dude.”

“Yes sir.” You obey, without a hint of hesitation.

“Oh - before I forget, engage mute mode.” He quickly adds, loudly pulling open a bag of chips. As instructed, you say nothing in response. Instead you quietly get up from the ground and begin to move towards a familiar door, a door that just an hour ago would have filled you with dread. Now though, you open it without concern, delivering yourself to your new storage space, walking down the stairs into the dim basement. Every step caused your hips to sway, squeezing your hole around the plastic cock filling your insides. The scent of master Rae still wafts around your face. You hear the sounds of masters other playthings shuffling around in the dark as you join your place amongst them, feeling their smooth blank bodies brush against yours. The crowded room sits in silence, patiently waiting to be of service again. Or until the next boring friend is deservedly added to the group.

After all, he was right - you’re far more interesting like this. Like a dutiful piece of furniture. An object he would - on rare occasions, use to rest his sweaty feet upon or, if you’re lucky, to empty his hefty balls inside of. That was the purpose he deemed fitting for you. That personality you had just got in the way, not that you had much of one to start with. Even still, Master Rae had been very kind to fix that. Purging your boring identity to leave beautifully pristine nothing in its wake.

You feel your own cock shudder inside your gaping rear as you wistfully think of your new owner. At him successfully demoting you to drone status. A sensation obviously shared by the rest of his drones, as they vibrate all around you in bliss - indulging in the joy of sheer emptiness.

[genesisgijinka]

Do you have any tips for drawing backgrounds? Yours always look so nice

aww thank you! As for tips...

Tip #1:

Find references. I sketched the cover for chapter 4 three different times, because the first two didn't evoke the majesty of the Prism Tower in the way I wanted it to. And then I saw this

I think you can see how this translated into the cover

Tip #2:

Do studies. Be it from photos (your own or from a royalty free website like pixabay, but watch out for AI garbage bc the perspective is usually wrong) or from real life. It's not cheating, it's encouraged, and it's industry standard. Idc if you have photographic memory, get something from real life in front of your eyeballs and draw it. Try and keep your reference close to your drawing so that it's easier for your eyes to flick back and forth between the two. This is how you can train your eyes to really see what's going on in an image. Compare angles, shapes, sizes, and distances.

I use clip studio paint for Genesis, which has perspective rulers and they're super handy for speeding up the process (first image) and again, is not cheating. It's a tool to use in your arsenal. A little tricky to use, but once you get it down, it's fantastic. I also really recommend using other mediums, like a sketchbook and a sharpie (2nd image) or dinking around in Paint (3rd image). Limiting yourself in challenging ways is a great way to grow fast. Experimenting like this is also great for finding a style or technique that you click with

Tip #3:

Be aware of the cone of vision. This is a technical skill, but it's one of those things that you don't necessarily have to draw out every single time (tho I'd recommend doing it at least once to burn it into your memory better). If your drawing is looking wonky, the cone of vision being breached is a likely culprit. I'll link a video to someone who can explain how to do it better than I can.

Tip #4:

Learn how to draw things the same size in perspective. This is probably the thing I use the most. For example;

You have a tiled floor in a room. The lines going to the vanishing point are easy to do.

But how do you do the horizontal ones going across the floor?

Step 1: draw two horizontal lines, and put an X in one of them, going from corner to corner

Step 2: Going from the center of the X, trace a line back to the vanishing point

Step 3: from one corner, draw a line that goes through where that center line hits the tile edge

Step 4: at the end of this new line is where the next tile will start

Step 5: Rinse and repeat as needed

Ta-da! You now have tiles that are all the same size

This also works for vertical things like windows or telephone poles

One of the most useful applications I've found this trick for is making sure that everything is the right size. Sticking a person in a drawing is an instantly recognizable way to show scale

Whilst sketching the cover for ch 4, I'd accidentally made the doors way too small in the buildings in the back, so I slapped some people down to make sure they were the right height (This is in 3-point perspective, so the trick still works, regardless of if it's 1-, 2-, or 3-pt perspective owo b )

[dihalect]

i need to post about palestine on facebook but i'm fucking terrified

[pirategauguin]

Teha'amana was the native wife of Paul Gauguin during his first visit to Tahiti in 1891 to 1893. It was common at that time for French colonists to take native wives; the wives simply referred to as vahine, Tahitian for "woman". These vahines were often underage children, as was the case with Teha'amana, their marriage being arranged by their family for reasons of status or financial advantage. The marriages were generally not legally binding. All three of Gauguin's vahines, the two he took after Teha'amana eventually returned home while Teha'amana herself declined to continue their relationship when Gauguin returned to Tahiti in 1895. Teha'amana undoubtedly saw herself as conventionally married according to her local customs, but for Gauguin the marriage was clearly a temporary arrangement. Nevertheless, he did profess a tender love for Teha'amana in his journal Noa Noa. Pierre Loti's Le Mariage de Loti, a book that influenced Gauguin's decision to travel to Tahiti, was an immensely popular account of such a marriage twenty years earlier, although in that case the marriage was actually a fictional composite of many casual liaisons indulged by Loti during a two-month visit to Papeete. In Loti's account his wife was fourteen years old, while in Gauguin's account Teha'amana was just thirteen years old.

These things are true. I want to make it clear that I do not condone these actions. However, this blog is not meant to refer to the real Gauguin. There is a degree of separation between the Gauguin from history and the fictional portrayal of Gauguin in the musical Starry. I do try to make this clear, as I have pinned a post discussing this to the top of this blog.

The difference between a real person from history and a character based off of that person is an important distinction to make. A character is not a real person, they are used as tools in a story and this may involve exaggerating certain elements of their historical counterpart and eliminating others, or for the sake of the plot, it may make more sense to put a character in a position the real person was never in. Beyond the plot, another reason these things may be done is to better convey a message that the writer(s) want to share. Applying this to Gauguin, if I remember correctly, the historical Gauguin never directly stated how he felt about how he had left the Yellow House. The Gauguin in Starry, however, has a line in the last song of the show that makes his view on this very clear: "I want to live again so I can stay." The character of Gauguin regrets his actions because that was what was right for the story the writers wanted to tell.

I do think this is an important discussion to have; the bad things historical people have done is something that should be talked about and recognized to be Not Good, but if these things are not relevant to the story being told, they should not be brought up as a reason to dislike the character. Not that a character doing bad things means that you're wrong to like them, but I could make a whole other post about that.

[tanadrin]

I would love to hear the rant about social media doomerism and conspiracy

I’m on my phone right now but the summary version is something like:

Humans are bad at integrating information into their worldview accurately bc of various cognitive biases

Social media incentivizes us seeking out content that excites fear or anger or irritation

Social media thus causes us to form negative impressions of the world bc it mediates so much information consumption and discourse these days

This general negative affective impression is subject to high confirmation bias and ppl in general are really bad at divorcing an affective impression of a thing from their dispassionate reasoning abt a thing

(Bc one of the functions of an affective impression is to “cache” our conclusions about a topic to save time and effort later)

(In general if you are a cynic and pessimist you can fall prey to these biases w/o social media but I think social media makes more ppl susceptible to them)

People don’t want to be dupes so they seek refuge in cynicism. We treat cynicism as wise or worldly when in fact cynicism makes you a dupe and an easy mark for grifters. Cynicism and low trust foster conspiracism, paranoia, and antisocial politics

(This is why so many congenitally contrarian folks seem to flit effortlessly between the far left and far right; it’s not horseshoe theory, they’ve just cooked their brains on this stuff)

This is a world where populist anti-social politicians like Trump and the AfD thrive, bc they will lie about how everything is terrible and people will nod along, bc it explains why their social media is full of awful stories of, like, immigrants eating pets and shit

But it doesn’t just have to be insane lies only a moron could believe. It can be any impression about a fact in the world that it is difficult to personally check and which is vulnerable to being swayed by anecdote

This is how we get a word where people think crime rates are higher than they’ve ever been when in fact crime is falling

Or child predators lurk around every corner when in fact children are safer than ever

Or the American economy is in a recession when in fact it’s doing historically well by just about every available metric (now with full employment AND low inflation!)

Because in a big world even where things are in general good and getting better you can always produce infinite individual examples of shitty things and pipe those in a steady stream into people’s eyeballs, and then point to that and leverage people’s low trust attitudes and their cynicism which tells them they are smarter than the experts and go “statistics is just a fancy way to lie! The world is secretly terrible! Every bad thing is even worse than you thought and every good thing is a lie!”

(Nevermind the whole phenomenon where anything that is complicated or that someone does not themselves understand gets treated like it’s actually secret and a conspiracy.)

And here I know I have to include some disclaimer about how this is not to discount individual cases of suffering or struggle, which are real, or that there are indeed some really awful things happening in the world right now, which there are, but you know what?

I’m tired of doing that. People with reading comprehension operating in good faith ought to be able to deduce that general statements do not obviate particular exceptions, and people who cling to their doomerism as a kind of emotional life raft do not generally argue with me in good faith.

Sometimes doomerism is a load-bearing pillar of their politics, which I think is dumb—I think you can be a leftist or a progressive without being a doomer! In fact I think doomerism is antithetical to useful politics!

Sometimes they are just depressed and treatment-resistant. Sometimes they are just angry misanthropes who want to feel justified in their misanthropy. Some doomers are themselves in bad circumstances and feeling hopeless about that—to them I am enormously sympathetic. Though a lot of doomers will admit they personally are doing OK—this does not seem to be most doomers.

But I think in general cynicism and doomerism and a worldview dominated by a general nebulous air of Everything Is Awful and by abstract nouns with threatening auras is not conducive to wisdom or understanding or useful politics or leading a happy and fulfilling life.

[moonshinedyke]

I am literally fucking BEGGING you all to also acknowledge the racism behind the terms "non-man" and "non-woman" and how they're used in queer definitions.

Black and Indigenous queer people have literally been talking about this since the definition was COINED but there's literally NO acknowledgement of this when pointing out why "non-men loving non-men" and "non-women loving non-women" are shitty fucking definitions to force on a whole community.

"Nonman" and "nonwoman" are terms that have been historically used to describe the degendering of black people in society. And words can obviously be used to mean different things- we don't have to stop using these terms altogether. But forcing these terms on a whole community of queer people is really fucking antiblack.

Not to mention that it blatantly degenders a lot of 2S lesbians and gays as well. It basically tells them that they can't be 2S and as a lesbian or gay at the same time, because then they would be "contradictory." I seriously hope I don't have to explain how racist it is to exclude a large portion of Two-Spirit people from your queer label because they don't fit into your neat little white gender binary.

Like these definitions aren't bad to use for yourself personally- but stop forcing them on all lesbians/gays. And if you're advocating for why these shouldn't be used as the most prominent definition, PLEASE acknowledge the racism aspect of it.

[thepersonperson]

Sukuna’s Loneliness Part 5 (Sukuna Did Nothing Wrong in the Heian Era, Probably)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Some notes before we start.

1) Big content warning for in depth discussion of historical slavery and the exploitation of minority groups.

2) I will be mainly using the TCB scans for the manga because of their accessibility. 

3) Raws are from Mangareader(.)to.

(Click images for captions/citations.)

Preface

This is another case of me making everyone suffer the consequences of my fic research. I finally got my hands on 100+ page THESIS on the lives of the lower class in ancient Japan that references multiple peer-reviewed sources. This is my holy grail. Please read all of it. (Thank you Mr. Breann M Goosmann!) Whenever I quote something, I am quoting this source. Most of what I'm summarizing is directly from this source.

Gege may have failed to write a proper backstory for Sukuna, but one was clearly set up using the actual history of that time. So I'm here to infer what's in those gaps using this document.

The Class System in Ancient Japan

During the Heian Era (794–1185) a social caste system called Ritsuryō (you can read more about its application here). The upper class was called 良民 or Ryōmin (good people) and the lower class was called 賤民 Senmin (low people).

The kanji 民 (Min) used for both of these classes can be translated as citizen instead of person. The Wiki page I linked uses the citizen translation. I have decided to change that to people because of 3rd group of people excluded from this system: The 非人 or Hinin (non-people).

Ryōmin included court nobility, citizens, professions that served the court, and tradesmen.

Senmin included servants and slaves.

Hinin included criminals, the deformed/disabled, and those working professions considered "unclean."

The most notable thing about this class system is the mobility between Ryōmin and Senmin. Committing crimes, selling oneself into slavery, aging, paying off debts, and doing good work allowed people to rise or fall from the ranks accordingly. Hinin, however, were confined to their class for the most part because many were viewed as innately "unclean".

Ironically, the best way to understand how this class system functioned is to understand what being "unclean" meant to it.

Uncleanliness (Kegare)

穢れ (Kegare) is a term that can be translated as the following: uncleanliness, defilement, pollution, impure.

晴れ (Hare) is a term considered the opposite for Kegare and can be translated as the following: to clear up, clear skies/sunny, renew, dispel, sacred, pure.

Both of these terms largely inform of how ancient Japan functioned and evolved over time. And though not a black and white dichotomy, it can be generally understood that society was organized in a way to minimize Kegare.

What's interesting about Kegare specifically is its complexity and its impermanence. Rather than being something only bad people have, anyone could acquire and dispel it through the proper rituals.

From the Kojiki, a Shinto document compiled before the introduction of Buddhism, and therefore before the Heian, separates Kegare into 2 categories:

1) Touch Kegare: Defilement through the physical contact with something unclean such as bodily fluids and the dead.

2) Transgression Kegare: Defilement through sinful actions.

"These versions of pollution appear as transient, exorcised relatively simply through misogi (cleansing ritual), seclusion from society, or expulsion of disorder causing elements."

This understanding of Kegare then evolved with the introduction of Buddhism to Japan. (This began in the Nara Era and extended well into the Heian.)

"As Jacqueline Stone explains in her study of deathbed rites and rituals, someone who had become enlightened was considered to have a “pure” mind, while those with a deluded mind were said to have a “defiled” mind. Monastic Buddhists also followed their own codes of “pure” conduct such as refraining from the eating of meat and killing of animals."

The old Shinto understandings of Kegare still carried over with the physical avoidment of unclean things such as dead bodies and blood. However, Buddhism introduced the idea that certain groups of people were innately impure. This includes the Hinin who were uniquely ostracized by this system.

"Hinin, like all outcast groups were bound to their “defiled” status. However, unlike other outcasts, they were also cast as blasphemers of Buddhist doctrine afflicted with karmic illness."

But despite being seen as this innately impure, the religious institutions were closest to them. Of the few places in society willing to tolerate and deal with Kegare, they offered outcasts "positions" where they could beg, display themselves as what happens to people who don't follow religious doctrine, and help with jobs considered "unclean". Since outcasts were considered permanently defiled for the duration of that life, they could touch impure things such as the dead, the sick, and blood on behalf of those avoiding temporary Kegare.

This is exploitation point blank. And though this suggests outcasts had some agency when it came to their survival, it doesn't remove the systemic coercion driving their situation.

Please keep this in mind as I explain why Sukuna did nothing wrong.

Sukuna is Hinin

Though there is plenty of debate on what makes someone Hinin, the general consensus is the following:

"All agree that hinin were considered defiled by others in society and looked at with some contempt. One medieval reference book called the Chiribukuro explains that hinin and other outcast groups “are alike in that they are shunned by human society.”"

But when trying to define Hinin more narrowly, this is the result:

"the term hinin indicated a very specific group of social outcasts isolated from the community and cast aside due to disease or deformation. In his description of hinin, Nagahara explains that those referred to as “kojiki-hinin” were of the lowest social class, physically isolated from their families and communities and therefore excluded from society and economic activities in the medieval period."

Sounds like Sukuna, right?

Sukuna does not refer to himself as Hinin of course, but he does call himself 忌み子 (Imigo).

To quote myself from Part 1, Imigo can be translated as "Abominable Child", "Unwanted Child", or "Shunned Child." None of these translations in my opinion get across how severe Imigo is. It's closer to meaning "child who should've never been born". Like the child's very existence is an affront to god. (If you play Elden Ring the Omen are called Imigo in Japanese for this reason.)

And since we know that Sukuna is canonically a conjoined twin, aka someone with a visible deformity, this all indicates he was considered afflicted with a "karmic illness" that would classify him as Hinin.

This means that from birth, Sukuna was designated as fundamentally unclean and non-human. Within that society, there was no route he could take to remove himself from this uncleanliness and be seen as human.

The following views of Hinin were considered controversial for their time (during the Kamakura Era aka right after the Heian):

"Although Nichiren believed in the karmic nature of certain diseases, he also understood that this kind of disease was not a hindrance to salvation."

"Undoubtedly, Eison envisioned hinin as the physical representation of the Bodhisattva Monju and advocated that compassion and charity were the appropriate response to karmic illness."

And since these controversial views of *checks notes* considering Hinin worthy of compassion and salvation were documented after the Heian, I don't think it's unreasonable to assume Hinin had less advocates during the Heian.

In other words, Sukuna could not exist within human society without being shunned or exploited. The manga itself suggests this has always been the case.

As you can see Sukuna is absolutely miserable performing a ritual someone of this lower class would be responsible for overseeing. All while the people he is helping regard him with disgust. (By the way there is a purification ritual in Nara called Yamayaki that involves burning an entire mountainside. Something Sukuna's flames would be very good at.)

This is also from the same chapter where he's assaulted by Yorozu who assumes he's lonely because he's strong. She's wrong about this. Just like Kashimo who assumes Sukuna cares little for love for the same reasons he does.

Love from one person is worthless when compared to the nonstop ostracization that comes from institutional discrimination. At most, love can offer relief from that pain. It does not eliminate it. I'm saying this as a minority myself. I love my friends dearly and they love me as well, but I still wake up and go about my day with the soul-crushing knowledge that most wish for me to not exist.

Sukuna is not lonely because he's not loved. Uraume clearly does. It's that for circumstances beyond his control, he has been excluded from human society and forced to constantly be around people who exploit him for the very traits they scorn.

Sukuna pretty much confirms this himself when he talks to Mahito.

And you know what? Sukuna deciding to kill all the people exploiting him is completely justified. (Imo, he can even kill the non-sorcerers that discriminate against him as a treat.)

The Cannibalism was Justified too, for the most part.

Another thing to note about Sukuna. He was born starving and he died starving.

Famines and natural disaster were frequent and extremely hard on the commoner population during the Heian. The fact Sukuna was born starving indicates he was of lower birth to begin with since nobility hoarded the resources to avoid starvation for themselves.

One way for commoners dealt with famine was via foraging. We actually see Sukuna doing that when he meets Uraume.

Now there are several very interesting things we learn from this.

1) Sukuna hunts and eats elk/deer. Something massively taboo for the time. Especially since deer were considered sacred animals back then and even to this day.

2) He appears to wander around and owns very little. This is further in line with him being Hinin per the following:

"Clearly, welcome could be revoked at any time, which meant that hinin had to be prepared to leave any location at any given moment. This mobile lifestyle also meant that hinin could only afford to carry essential daily items, such as cooking utensils and begging bowls. The image also reveals that the hinin were never officially invited to stay in that particular area. Instead, they sought out their own locations to set up communities."

3) Despite Uraume being alive and fresh human meat, Sukuna does not immediately see them as food. Nor does he attack them. This, combined with him not taking the dead villagers for eating and preparing deer/elk instead, suggests that cannibalism is not the default for him.

Back to famines, it's also not unheard of for people to resort to cannibalism during them. The logic is simple: An outcast with no support network eats humans to survive.

And given the frequency of death from natural disasters of this time, there’s a real chance he never had to hunt humans in the first place. As Hinin, handling the dead is one of the few jobs he’s allowed to do. So it’s possible the worst thing he did was desecrate corpses in the name of scavenging.

Furthermore, if Sukuna is considered a non-human, is it even cannibalism to begin with? Is a hungry animal evil for eating a human?

I may consider Sukuna human because I refuse to partake in his dehumanization, but it needs to be understood that in the context of the JJK's story, there is not a single character that refers to Sukuna as a human. He's not even referred to as a man. He's either a curse, a monster, or at the very end, a sorcerer. Sukuna has been so dehumanized by others that he himself identifies as a "curse". This is also separate from "cursed spirit", leaving him in his own unique category of non-human.

Sukuna may not see eating other people as acts of cannibalism. After all, they are the ones who decided he was non-human at birth. (And since he is taboo, eating the deer/elk can’t make him more taboo than he already is.)

The following is an excerpt discussing the dehumanization of the starving:

"This strange image is from the Scroll of Hungry Ghosts and the huge emaciated creature depicted is just one of many of the numerous depictions of hungry ghosts or gaki. Invisible to humans, the gaki depicted are the spirits of greedy or jealous individuals karmically punished for their covetous thoughts with perpetual hunger for bodily excretions such as urine or feces."

"The protrusions of the stomach, the red-tinted hair, as well as the greying of the skin, are all genuine symptoms of starvation. In this light, our image appears significantly different. Instead of an invisible monster attacking a man, we have a disfigured and suffering human reaching out for humanity."

The phenomenon of hair during red or blond from starvation is called Kwashiorkor. Gege may be color blind, but Sukuna being depicted with pink or blond hair appears to be deliberate and in line with Kwashiorkor.

Sukuna was probably framed.

The only crimes Sukuna is accused of by Jujutsu Society is murder and cannibalism. As demonstrated by the previous section, there could be a pretty good reason for the cannibalism. But what about the murder?

Another thing that should be noted about Sukuna is how his destruction is largely retaliatory in the modern era. Every kill or kill attempt is made as a response to a challenge that was directed at him first.

When Sukuna first incarnates, Megumi says this to him:

Yuji may be Megumi's target, but remember that Kegare spreads through touch. Sukuna coming into contact with Yuji has made them both unclean. In other words, Sukuna has been informed that in this life, 1,000 years later, where he has yet to do any harm (Those comments about the women, children, and massacre are still sus, but they could've been about the Merger.), he will be attacked by sorcerers no matter what. It's not unreasonable for him to then attack them on sight.

But even when he does that, most of them survive until Shinjuku. During the culling games, Sukuna kills only 2 sorcerers—Ryu and Yorozu. Ryu is given a chance to walk away, but he doesn't. Uro flees and is spared. Yorozu is the sole person Sukuna seeks out to kill and that’s just for his Gojo plans.

And in that month Sukuna has before the showdown with Gojo? Nothing happens. He kills no one and just lounges around. Eating his own corpse is the only cannibalism. He absolutely could have eaten Tsumiki’s body to further crush Megumi’s soul, but he doesn’t.

Then when it comes to the actual showdown, Sukuna kills 3 sorcerers total. It's also very telling that after Sukuna is dead...no one blames him for what happened. They blame Kenjaku, hell even Gojo, but Sukuna isn't mentioned once. Higuruma is convinced that Sukuna was playing around. Kusakabe agrees that Sukuna’s manner of play isn't what they’re super worried about, it's Kenjaku.

The worst thing Sukuna does is Shibuya and that too has nuance to it. The twins aren't killed for fun. Sukuna punishes them for making demands of him. The citizens of Shibuya? Collateral from dealing with Jogo and Mahoraga. (He only really kills Haruta for the sake of it. And let's be real, he deserved that.)

And though the Shibuya civilian deaths are an objectively bad thing Sukuna has done, the fact they are not intentional gives credence to the idea that Sukuna didn't really target them in the past either. This suggests that the "murders" Sukuna did in the Heian were likely retaliation against people challenging him or trying to subjugate him. In other words, self defense.

And if he did wipe out a village, it was probably collateral. But that's kind of the thing. Did Sukuna even kill innocents by accident? The only confirmed kills of the Heian are those of the Subjugation and Military Squads. You know, people who may have attacked him for simply being "unclean".

Who am I kidding he absolutely was attacked for being “unclean”. This is how Angel talks about Sukuna and the incarnated.

She doesn’t care about saving the lives of innocents, all that matters to her are things that she deems evil are purged. Sukuna to Angel is ontologically evil and doesn’t deserve to exist. She targets him more than other incarnated players while ignoring Kenjaku who is responsible for this mess in the first place. She also quite literally did something she deemed wrong and evil so she could follow him into the future and make sure he died. (Move over Gojo Satoru we've got a new minority hunter.)

But it’s not like her attitude is new. Jujutsu Society is notorious for trying to kill things they deem "bad" such as Yuji and Yuta. The striking thing about the wanted executions of these literal children is that the higher ups giving the command make other sorcerers do it for them. Going back to the ideas of Kegare—spilling blood and touching corpses makes one impure so the outcasts are to deal with it. This is the logic driving their decision to coerce Yuta into a binding vow to kill Yuji.

("No matter how many cursed spirits you kill, it's proof of nothing!" <Please take note of how Yuta's good deeds do nothing to earn the higher ups' favor because he's seen as inherently evil.)

Yuta is essentially scapegoated through this manipulation and Yuji initially treats him like an enemy. In the same way characters like Kusakabe blame Gojo for refusing to execute Yuji. Despite the higher ups being responsible for the system functioning this way, the people they’re manipulating bear the brunt of responsibility to other characters.

Who's to say Sukuna isn't also a victim of this scapegoating? His power is comparable to a natural disaster. It would be very easy to blame one on him. After all, the higher ups of the Heian, the Fujiwaras, did exactly that to Uro.

Uro’s situation is much worse than Yuta’s however. She is a military slave. This distinction of military slave is important because unlike domestic slaves, they were allowed to rise through the ranks and be given awards despite their status.

And since Uro is a Sukuna parallel, there is a pretty good chance he was a slave at some point during the Heian.

Slavery in the Heian

A little detail I left out when discussing famine in the Heian. The asymmetrical wealth distribution was so severe during this time that commoners would sell themselves into slavery in hopes of not starving to death.

An example from the Kamakura Era (after the Heian):

"As the article shows, during the three years of the Kangi famine (1229-1232) and several recovery years following, various common people sold themselves, their relatives, and their retainers into slavery in exchange for sustenance. Not only would an amount be given to the seller, but also presumably whoever now owned the sold individual would be responsible for feeding and providing shelter for that individual. In this way, the common populations of Japan created a strategy for survival. There was no certainty that a new owner would fulfill this obligation, but the promise of reprieve from daily struggles was impetus enough for the sale."

Another example from the same era:

"A didactic tale from 1283 tells the story of a small family consisting of a mother and son, who after experiencing severe famine, came to the realization they would soon starve to death. In the hope of saving his mother, the young boy offers to sell himself into bondage, and although the mother disagrees, he goes ahead with the plan."

Yes this is as bad as it sounds, but there is one thing I would like to get out of the way—this slave system did not function anything like the chattel slavery during colonialism. Strangely enough, these slaves had some rights they could fight their owners in court over. They could pay off debts and be set free. They were allowed to be married and have children with those outside of their class. They were not kept in cages or in chains like animals. (Silver linings! /s)

The term used for these slaves was 奴婢 (Nuhi) which roughly translates to “bonded person”. This is more in the contractual sense rather than the physical sense since most were slaves by contract or debt.

This kind of sounds like something binding vows could do, right? Well binding vows share no kanji with Nuhi using 縛り(Shibari) instead. However, Sukuna introduces the concept of binding vows with chains and a handshake.

Sukuna was also born unwanted to a starving mother during a time when starving people sold themselves or their relatives into slavery to survive. This can mean a lot of things for his upbringing and none of them are pleasant.

Here is a summary of what jobs Nuhi did:

"As stated previously, wealthy households frequently obtained slaves and assigned them to various domestic tasks. However, sources further illuminate trafficking of women into the sex trade of Kamakura Japan."

If you noticed, Sukuna's Cursed Technique is perfect for this. He can chop up veggies, butcher fish, till farmland, slash and burn farmland, light fires, and every other non-violent thing a knife and fire can be used for. If he wasn't exploited for exorcising curses, he absolutely would've been exploited for domestic tasks.

And to get to much more depressing line of work Sukuna could've been subjected to as a child, I'd like to discuss why someone as masculine as him would be associated with women's work in the first place.

The Treatment of Women in Ancient Japan

"In Japan prior to the Heian and Kamakura periods, women played prominent roles in religious activities as miko, which was akin to a female medium or female shaman...Since miko functioned as a sacred and integral part in religious communities, issues of impurity did not appear to be an issue. Instead, it was Buddhist ideas that linked the female form to impurity."

With the introduction of Buddhism, women began to be seen as innately impure due to the blood and fluids associated with childbirth and mensuration.

"In the Heian period, Buddhist temples such as such as Enryakuji and Tōdaiji, began barring women from entering the premises due to their defiled nature."

"prominent Buddhist discourse painted women as innately defiled and therefore unable to achieve enlightenment in their own female bodies."

"To be born as an innately defiled female was considered a karmic punishment for past actions."

Though not ostracized as much as outcasts, women were seen as innately unclean in a similar vein to Sukuna. Women were expelled from religious institutions but not the courts, while outcasts were tolerated by religious institutions and barred from the courts. (The courts and temples operated independently of each other, which is why it was possible for noble women to hold power despite being designated as unclean.)

A few months ago I made a joke about this panel:

"Sukuna’s two options were helping Uraume transition or becoming a girl himself."

This is still mostly a joke, but I do think Sukuna identifies more with women than with men. Not that Sukuna is a girl, but that he relates to them and their struggles better. (Keep in mind he does wear a women's yukata and a men's obi at the same time as Yujikuna.)

It's important to note is that this mystery woman here wears the clothes of a Miko or Shrine Maiden/Priestess—the main group of women that was displaced and persecuted because of the new religious doctrine. And like every other group without a proper social safety net, selling themselves into slavery became a survival strategy. They did have other options of course. In the case of Asobi, the Priestess that used to serve the courts, turned to entertainment and sex work after their exclusion.

"Either riding in boats or setting up shop on busy routes to the capital and religious sites, Goodwin argues that these performers were part of independent, possibly female-run organizations, which were not stigmatized until the later part of the Kamakura period. However, as Wakita Haruko has examined, at least some women involved in sexual entertainment were female indentured servants, serving as security on a loan issued by their parents."

In this way, the exact identity of the Miko in Sukuna's path may not matter. She might be a representation of those who accepted their exclusion and did their best to survive on society's terms. If the South choice is meant to represent returning to who Sukuna used to be, then it can also mean the types of struggles Mikos faced are his as well.

However, there was a temple that continued to accept women as followers—the Muroji Temple in Nara. Interestingly enough, this temple contains an inner sanctuary devoted to the founder of Shingon Buddhism, the type of Buddhism Tengen brought over. The mountain this temple is located on is also associated with a dragon spirit. Since there is historical precedent of at least one temple accepting a group of people seen as innately impure, a place like this may have also been a sanctuary for Sukuna.

With the information we have, it's not really possible to know exactly what awful thing happened to Sukuna. The most important takeaway from this is that the suffering he experienced was systemic. He didn't get unlucky with a few ignorant and bad people. This was the direct result of the Heian class system dehumanizing people. In other words, his choices were severely limited.

Sukuna's Other Choice

Going North with Uraume appears to be very similar what he did back in the Heian—taking in an abandoned child and looking after them. What makes this choice slightly different this time around is that the class system that oppressed him no longer exists in the modern era. Yes, he’ll absolutely face discrimination for being deformed, but the complete denial of his humanity at every turn for his appearance is gone. He won’t be treated as untouchable and inherently evil. Legally speaking, he has drastically more rights. Violence won’t be his only option moving up in the world.

I will always loathe that Sukuna had to die to obtain this. And that the “reformed” modern Jujutsu Society refuses to acknowledge the systemic failures of their institution. Kusakabe makes it very clear he still believes the immediate extermination of anything deemed “evil” is a valid way to go about things, even if it means the death of a child…as long as he doesn’t have to do it. (Hence him blaming Gojo for it, just like the higher ups.) After the fight, everyone passes blame around, absolves themselves of any wrongdoing, and decides no one is really at fault.

There were people at fault for this. There are institutions at fault for this. But their failure to confront those things directly is probably why Sukuna rejected Yuji’s offer so viciously. Instead of trying to understand Sukuna on his own terms, Yuji showed him the value of a simple life he was never allowed to have, then told him to die or go back into the cage.

Yuji offered Sukuna pity but no autonomy, which is exactly the way Hinin were treated by the religious institutions of old.

"However, Hosokawa argues that even in veneration of hinin as representations of Manjusri, Buddhist monks continue to discriminate against this outcast group and further perpetuate their low position in society. Hosokawa explains that although activity involved in charitable works towards hinin, Eison cared little about the salvation of hinin because he saw outcasts as divine only within the context of the ritual of assembly. Therefore, all charitable works directed at hinin were merely ceremonial. Hosokawa advocates the view that Eison believed hinin lacked ‘nature,’ meaning they were unable to study or practice Buddhism. Essentially, without nature, they had no ability to escape the cycle of re-birth through the study of Buddhism."

Sukuna even thinks of modern sorcerers like the ones of old. Why would he ever want to return to that?

His goals are simple; eat, play, and pass time until his dies. That’s not really evil now is it? But the people attacking him don’t know that. None of them ever stopped to asked because they assume him existing freely will bring evil.

But what does Sukuna do when he’s given a month-long truce a body he completely controls? He does what every minority group does when they are no longer being actively oppresed—he rests. He doesn’t go around killing or tormenting for fun. With his newfound freedom he secludes himself and lounges.

The fight in Shinjuku is essentially a group of well-meaning people from a corrupt institution beating an outcast that was ostracized by it into submission. Albeit for very good reasons.

Why did this fight change his mind?

If Sukuna is basically reliving past trauma via the Shinjuku fight, why did he decide this group of sorcerers was worth listening to? The simple answer of course is he lost to them. Sukuna believes the strong impose their will and the weak follow suit.

I don’t think that’s quite right. Sukuna used to be weak too. He was a child once. He used to controlled by others stronger than him. By his own logic he should’ve stayed like that, but he trained to get stronger and eventually rebelled.

Since Sukuna is a known liar and hides his feelings under several layers of repression, I’m inclined to believe this statement is also smokescreen. And after reading the Uraume Epilogue I am certain of this. But for now let’s revisit the Shinjuku fight, starting from the battle that made me realize Sukuna is indeed a pathetic sopping wet cat underneath it all—Sukuna vs Gojo.

Sukuna vs Gojo

Something fans picked up on during this fight was how Gojo dogwalked Sukuna when it came to Hand to Hand (H2H) combat. During their fight, Sukuna fails to land a single punch on Gojo’s face. It takes Yuta possessing Gojo’s body and fumbling around in it for Sukuna to finally punch that face. But it’s not just Gojo he sucks at with H2H combat. It’s everyone. Here is a compilation of Sukuna getting hit in the head or face.

This seems to conflict with Sukuna’s ability to learn anything visually. He sees someone do something and he can copy it immediately. This contradiction can be explained by him being Hinin.

Sukuna was considered an untouchable. Educated people were of a higher class and believed unclean things like him were to be avoided at all costs. This means that whatever education Sukuna obtained for himself was always at a distance. Aka watch and copy. And since H2H is mostly taught through body to body contact, Sukuna wasn’t allowed a proper sparing partner outside of the attempts to kill him.

In Part 2, I go over Sukuna’s fraud allegations for his copying of Gojo in particular. This is what lead me to realize that Sukuna spent 6 months plotting to kill a guy he met for 10 seconds. This insane level of pre-planning is also shaped by him being Hinin.

We know for a fact that Sukuna hunts deer/elk and that it’s safe to assume he driven to this because of his Hinin status. If you know anything about hunting, it’s that most of it is playing psychological mind games with creatures that are somehow complete geniuses despite having 2 brain cells. You don’t chase after a deer with a gun, you become obsessed with them. You study every little habit of theirs; when they hunger, what they eat, and where they defecate. Using this information, you set up the bait and wait in hiding for the perfect opportunity to kill them.

This is pretty much what Sukuna does to Gojo. He’s got a hunter’s obsession with him. In Part 4, I explain how this obsession might actually be unhinged courtship, but I don’t lay out why Gojo of all people seemingly means this much to Sukuna. This too can be explained by him being Hinin.

I’ve said it over and over, Gojo and Sukuna are twin flames. They are the strongest, isolated, dehumanized, exploited, self-taught, and really bad at showing affection. Part of this obsession is driven by Sukuna seeing himself in Gojo. He's being ordered around by others weaker than him in the same way Sukuna used to be.

But take note of this “I owe you a debt.” It’s easy to assume he means payback for punching him in the face. However…Gojo did actually do Sukuna a massive favor. He suspended his execution, even if it was primarily to save Yuji.

As I discussed before, Kegare was infectious. You touch something unclean and you become unclean yourself. By laws of Jujutsu Society and by social stigma around Kegare, Sukuna made Yuji equally as impure as himself. And Gojo went screw that, I’m going to look after you. He gave Yuji direct lessons, made sure all his basic needs were met, and treated him like a human. Behind everyone’s backs he hid the final finger, intending to let Yuji live for the duration of his natural life.

To Sukuna, Gojo is someone who would have taken him in and advocated for his humanity under different circumstances. Gojo is someone Sukuna would’ve loved to have as a teacher. And so he copies him. He learns and improves his own sorcery as if Gojo had intentionally taught him.

Through the Shinjuku fight, his experiences within Yuji, and Megumi’s memories, Sukuna gets a taste of what could’ve been. With Megumi in particular, he also gets to see what it’s like to be raised by someone who actually cares. Though not intentional, this is how Gojo teaches Sukuna love. This is why when Sukuna looks at Gojo, he thinks about love.

Sukuna choosing to go with Uraume is him copying Gojo one last time. After seeing that even if you’re isolated, exploited, and miserable, there’s still fulfillment in using your power to make sure someone else doesn’t go through what you did. It may not remove all that pain, but it makes it easier.

And bringing back Kegare’s opposite Hare (晴れ). The kanji used are in the Appare Da (天晴れだ) when Sukuna tells Gojo, “You cleared my skies.” (The Da at the end of this statement means it was pretty heartfelt too.) With this additional context, I think it can be taken to also mean that Gojo made Sukuna feel like he wasn’t impure.

Sukuna vs Yuji

Yuji and Megumi are the ones who ultimately make Sukuna realize that it's worth pursing guardianship regardless of marital status or blood relation. They are the two of Gojo’s students/children that are directly compared to Uraume.

Yuji who is also the same as Sukuna, fills the role of Gojo when he first chooses to look after Megumi. When he prevents Megumi from being sold by his father. Sukuna has seen both versions of this memory.

Since Sukuna is a twin to Wasuke and they are also the same, JJK 265 is Yuji showing Sukuna an entire alternate universe of the normal life he could've lived if he had been seen as human.

And even if he can’t ever be seen as human or live normally, Megumi tells him it’s ok to be improper and cherish someone anyways.

None of these 3 realize how greatly they’ve affected Sukuna. He barely admits to it even in death. But Sukuna had secretly wanted this from the start. The cracks started showing when he first tried to teach Megumi in his special little tsundere shark way.

There's also something to be said about Uraume making it to adulthood in a time where famine was rampant and parents would sell their children into slavery just to eat. Their cursed technique manifested around the age of 6, just like Megumi. The fact they survived means Sukuna was already doing a pretty good job as their guardian.

Other Things this Changes

I'm also looking at Sukuna's fondness towards Jogo in a whole new light. I thought that Jogo wanting nothing of him was the main reason he was favored. But there's more to it that that. It’s that he regards Sukuna’s life as inherently valuable. Jogo believes in a world where Sukuna has the right to exist as he is and how he wants. No one will try to control him or condemn him for something he had no say in.

He also stands out in his devotion to curses of any background. Mahito basically looks like a human, Choso and his brothers are half human, Sukuna is fully human, and Jogo accepts them all no questions asked. He’s willing to fight for people who exist differently than himself.

There's also that added “wanting to be seen as human” element. Jogo’s world is one where Sukuna would finally be seen as human. It’s the same logic that drove Choso to side with the Disaster Curses. He knew how difficult human society would make the lives of his brothers (both of which have 2 faces like conjoined twins), so he chose to fight for a world where that kind of discrimination no longer existed. (Which is why it's really sad he died and no one mourned him properly.)

And yes we can condemn the mass slaughter of humans as the wrong way to go about this. But the core problem is that Jujutsu Society branded them as taboo and in need of extermination or containment. They were driven into a corner and believed violence was the only way out. The only reason Choso was able to change was other sorcerers giving him a chance despite the hurt he caused. Something Sukuna didn't get outside of the offer to be caged.

Am I being too lenient with Sukuna here?

Absolutely. I am extremely biased.

To me at least, the type of "evil" Sukuna is has a lot nuance. It is very significant that someone as strong as him, who could basically do whatever he wanted (theoretically), took one willing servant in a time where slavery was widely practiced. (If you read the linked document, it's kind of up for debate how legal slavery was at the time.) It's also significant that the Heian crimes he was accused of were limited to cannibalism and murder. He's clearly got rules about his evilness and I really like that about him. I wanted to find the logic driving them and I think I've finally struck gold.

This didn't fit anywhere nicely. But consider the following:

"Earthly sins, on the other hand, were those that only affected individuals or forbidden actions, such as rape or cutting living flesh."

Sukuna's CT cuts living flesh. His very CT was considered impure in the Heian. The flames however, are more aligned with purification. It's just a neat little thing that shows Sukuna's duality imo.

He's also really good at archery. And though this is likely because his flame CT is a bow, he probably got good at it to hunt deer/elk on top of temple duties. (Just another way he enjoys corrupting the divine.)

But please remember, the only reason I've done all of this is because of Umineko's...

Without love, it cannot be seen.

[rivkae-winters]

Edit: the app launched and Is down- I have the initial apology video in a post here and I’m working on getting a full archive of their TikTok up ASAP. I’m letting the rest of this post remain since I do still stand by most of it and also don’t like altering things already in circulation.

Warning for criticism and what I’d consider some harsh to outright mean words:

So I’ve just been made aware of the project known of as ‘lore.fm’ and I’m not a fan for multiple reasons. For one this ‘accessibility’ tool complicates the process of essentially just using a screen reader (something native to all I phones specifically because this is a proposed IOS app) in utterly needless and inaccessible ways. From what I have been seeing on Reddit they have been shielding themselves (or fans of the project have been defending them) with this claim of being an accessibility tool as well to which is infuriating for so many reasons.

I plan to make a longer post explaining why this is a terrible idea later but I’ll keep it short for tonight with my main three criticisms and a few extras:

1. Your service requires people to copy a url for a fic then open your app then paste it into your app and click a button then wait for your audio to be prepared to use. This is needlessly complicating a process that exists on IOS already and can be done IN BROWSER using an overlay that you can fully control the placement of.

2. This is potentially killing your own fandom if it catches on with the proposed target market of xreader smut enjoyers because of only needing the link as mentioned above. You don’t have to open a fic to get a link this the author may potentially not even get any hits much less any other feedback. At least when you download a pdf you leave a hit: the download button is on the page with the fic for a reason. Fandom is a self sustaining eco system and many authors get discouraged and post less/even stop writing all together if they get low interaction.

3. Maybe we shouldn’t put something marketed as turning smut fanfic into audio books on the IOS App Store right now. Maybe with KOSA that’s a bad idea? Just maybe? Sarcasm aside we could see fan fiction be under even more legal threat if minors use this to listen to the content we know they all consume via sites like ao3 (even if we ask them not to) and are caught with it. Auditory content has historically been considered much more obscene/inappropriate than written content: this is a recipe for a disaster and more internet regulations we are trying to avoid.

I also have many issues with the fact that this is obviously redistributing fanfiction (thus violating the copyright we hold over our words and our plots) and removing control the author should have over their content and digital footprint. Then there is the fact that even though the creator on TikTok SAYS you can email to have your fic ‘excluded’ based on the way the demo works (pasting a link) I’m gonna assume that’s just to cover her ass/is utter bullshit. I know that’s harsh but if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it’s probably a duck.

I am all for women in stem- I’ve BEEN a woman in Stem- but this is not a cool girl boss moment. This is someone naive enough to think this will go over well at best or many other things (security risks especially) at worst.

In conclusion for tonight: I hope this person is a troll but there is enough hype and enough paid for web domains that I don’t think that’s the case. There are a litany of reasons every fanfic reader and writer should be against something like this existing and I’ll outline them all in several other posts later.

Do not email their opt out email address there is no saying what is actually happening with that data and it is simply not worth the risks it could bring up. I hate treating seemingly well meaning people like potential cyber criminals but I’ve seen enough shit by now that it’s better to be safe than sorry. You’re much safer just locking all your fics to account only. I haven’t yet but I may in the future if that is the only option.

If anyone wants a screen reader tutorial and a walk through of my free favorites as well as the native IOS screen reader I can post that later as well. Sorry for the heavy content I know it’s not my normal fare.

[topazadine]

Things that immediately turn me off a fiction book

I'm pretty picky with what I read, because the time I spend reading is time that I could spend writing. I generally know if I will like a book within the first chapter, and I feel no shame in giving up if I'm not vibing with it.

And no, I don't believe in the "oooh read further it warms up" because does it? Does it really? Do I want to waste time finding out?

Frankly, at this point in life, I read more nonfiction than fiction because there's just so. many. bad. books. that are getting published. Worse than fanfictions.

Anyway, here are the things that make me give up. Maybe hearing this will help you as you write your own masterpiece.

Too Many Proper Nouns

Three characters maximum in the first chapter or two. Do not throw dozens of people at me. I will get confused and give up. Let me get to know the main character, by themself or with a few of their closest companions, before you make me remember everyone else. And go deep with those characters! I want someone to stick with!

You can reference other characters, to create a sense of a deeper world, but do not go all-in on them. Make it clear that they are just there to provide a bit of context, and we don't have to remember them yet. We should only be meeting three characters maximum.

Throwing Us Immediately Into a Dramatic Action Point

This is controversial I know, but I hate when something immediately starts with a battle. I don't care if any of these people live or die. I don't know them. I haven't grown attached to any of them.

Even just a page or two to get to know them first will help. You can have them gearing up for a battle, thinking about what's going to happen, maybe talking to their friends, maybe checking their armor, whatever feels natural for them. But do not just start with stabbing people! I don't care about them yet!

Too Many Details

Many this is just me, but I simply do not care about every piece of armor your character is wearing. I don't need to hear a play-by-play of every single color of every single thing because I don't care. Pick out a few specific things for me to focus on and that's it. Stop overloading me with colors and patterns and armor styles.

Yes, yes, you've done your research on historically accurate gear. That's great. It would be good for a movie. But if I have to look up different armor pieces every five seconds, I am glossing over it and moving on. I don't care. I'm here for the story. If I wanted an infodump about medieval armor, I would simply pick up a nonfiction book (and maybe I will).

White Space Syndrome

Tell me what the overall scene looks like instead of all these hyperspecific details of certain objects, like carts or emblems or whatever. I want to know where I am!!

Don't just say "a forest." Tell me what kind of forest. Tell me if it's a young forest or an old snarly forest or a swampy forest or a cold alpine forest.

Don't just say "a castle." Tell me if it's a bustling castle or a gloomy castle or a rundown castle.

Don't just say "on the sea." Cold sea? Tropical sea? Far far away from land or is land in sight? These are the things I want!

Too Much Backstory

For the love of god do not explain the entire history of this culture in the first chapter. The first chapter is for getting to know the characters we're going to be following. You can introduce those things slowly and carefully as the story unfolds.

I get that fiction writers are delighted by all the worldbuilding (or research, in historical fiction) they have done. But the reader does not care right away. They need to get invested before all those little specifics matter at all. My eyes glaze over and I give up because I don't want to have to remember all of that all at once. It's like you just threw a college textbook at my face.

Plus, if you're doing third-person limited, you have to remember that the character is not going to be thinking all of that! They won't say all of that either! Because they know all of that!

Even a general on the brink of a major battle is not going to go "yes, this all dates back to when we took Iuanfutila back in 181, when the brave Iuanfutilans protested the rule of our Yawwbaawnwhryr leaders ...." They are focused on the present moment, and they may discuss the backstory later. Tell us what we need to know now because that is what the character would be thinking too.

"Oh, but Topazadine, how will the readers understand the context if I don't tell them??"

There's a battle. Two groups are at war. Or something was stolen. Or two people are fighting. Whatever. We understand those things. We can get the basic gist of how things are going to play out by just showing us these things happening. Then, as we have gotten a feel for the characters, you can tell us more about the context.

If you walk into a store that's being held up by an armed robber, do you give a shit about his backstory, or do you only care once that person has been arrested and you have to testify? I think we know the answer. You're not going "ohhh why is he doing this??" at first. You're going "HOLY SHIT THERE'S A GUN WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NOW???" and then you'll care about the other stuff later.

Too Much Play-by-Play

I also do not need a play by play of a fight scene. I need to know the general movements, and then the overall atmosphere. I want to feel what the character feels rather than feel like I'm watching a football game.

Your reader will fill in the gaps if you give them enough information, but when you overload them with every single action, they're now trying to keep track of what went where instead of how this moment is supposed to feel. And now the action and drama has gone out of the writing because it's become a manual of fighting techniques.

Pointless Dumb Conversations

"Oh, could you turn around for me? I want privacy."

"Sure, of course, I'm a respectable man." Manfred knew that a lady-in-waiting would be unsettled by the presence of a strange man, so he wanted to be respectful.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Oh my god no one cares!!! No one!! We don't need this exchange. Cut it. This is stupid. Unless something is actually happening or something is meaningful about them saying this, shut up.

How to Not Write a Horrible First Chapter That Makes People Ragequit

Can you tell I'm mad today? I started and stopped three different books because they were all so bad.

Three characters max in the first chapter, with deep discussion of each. (One or two is better.) General appearance, demeanor, profession, whatever.

Restrain the urge to infodump! Dribble it out over the chapter!

Give the setting more attention than random little details that ultimately do not matter. I don't need to know the pattern of the curtains on the horsecart that's about to be burnt. Don't care.

Do not give a play by play of every single action that a character takes because it's boring and no one cares.

In media res is great but do NOT start with a big climactic intense battle or fight or whatever because we don't know these characters and don't know who to root for (or why we should care).

Your character is not going to give us a history lesson in why this conflict is happening. Do not do it yourself either. Give us just enough to get intrigued and no more. Think how your characters would think and what they would prioritize in discussions.

If a conversation is just pleasantries and has no purpose, drop it, we don't care.

[devine-fem]

I know a lot of people don’t read for Ra’s Al Ghul and understand because it is hard to find good characterization and solos for him period but if you need a reference here’s the complexity of Ra’s Al Ghul’s character, especially if you wish to write him.

Let’s extablish this: Ra’s Al Ghul is evil. He is a villian but not purposeless, he has motivations, ideations, as to why he does what he does. The Demon’s Head is a philosophy after all.

In the comic I’m going to talk about frequently, Ra’s aims to topple empires built upon the betterment of humans but to the destruction of animal health, habitation, ecosystem, and people who are a threat to the Earth itself, he then makes sure the next person who takes this Empire aims to either shut it down or improve it in a way that no longer allows said empire benefit from malicious means.

Batman: One Bad Day explains Ra’s Al Ghuls youth and loss of his home and family at the face of a siege, with nowhere to go and no protection, he was left defenseless until he was protected by the wolves in the wilderness which led him to believe that the forest itself protected him. This is why I have a hard time hating Ra’s personally, I could never hate someone who’s gone through every catastrophic event of our ancestory, I imagine he’s victim to a lot of historical tragedy and any attempts to find happiness in a pure, authentic way probably was snatched from him. He’s likely seen the worst of society and I couldn’t hate him for that.

It’s important to note that Ra’s Al Ghul can love within centuries of his life, then he can be abusive.

He believes all life to be just as worthy and precious as another. He believes all life is worth being saved though after all the hell that humans has put the Earth and it’s children through he has grown bitter and angry. He’s experienced the pit madness over and over, it’s likely simply a part of who he is.

Over spending hundreds of years alive, so much grief and death every single year for centries, he’s become traumatized. Now he attempts to save humanity from itself because of one bad day.

Ra’s Al Ghul has even said that Jason Todd’s unnecessary death caused him to grieve, so much so that he sought Jason’s body out and brought him back to life.

Here is Ra’s Al Ghul breaking down and tears for having to put his pet down so he’s very much not emotionless.

Here is Damian arguing with his father over whether Ra’s Al Ghul’s ideations are correct or not. Damian’s feelings toward Ra’s are likely extremely complicated but I am sure there is more bad than good but that doesn’t mean it’s all bad.

Here is Ra’s Al Ghul telling Damian that he is proud of him and has a deep respect for him. Also note that in Birth of the Demon, Ra’s Al Ghul has said that he prefers Bruce and him to be allies instead of enemies and even considers Bruce his son.

Ra’s still wishes he could be allies with Bruce and fantasizes about fighting alongside him to this day.

Ra’s threatens Damian’s life but immediately after admits that he was just bluffing, and he would not have hurt Damian.

When Ra’s mortally wounds Bruce, he lets Damian have a moment with his father given that he’s the one who fatally wounded Bruce in the first place.

Ra’s says explicitly that he was doing what he is doing for Damian’s future. He states again that he does not believe one life is more important than the other, even humans.

I think it's very important that what Ra's does is extremely traumatizing and would not make sense to a child. He functions in a way where he thinks he is right and what he is doing comes from a place of love and compassion, including the things he does to Damian.

Whether you agree with his philosophy or not is up to you, but he truly believes he's doing what he is doing for the bettering and benefit of his family.

In conclusion, he is somewhat human, he's somewhat of a madman, he believes human life is valuable but as valuable as a healthy bird soaring through the sky, his actions come from a place of love though sometimes (often) he may be abusive. He would not kill a man without reason, he would not kill an animal without reason, he says above that he thinks killing to survive is different from killing for pleasure, he believes he's doing the same as killing to survive. And finally, he has no interest in anyone or anything that does not fullfill his role as the demon’s head.

[armoredsuperheavy]

The Complete Raffles, Annotated (Rebind)

Who is Raffles?

Written by E. W. Hornung, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's brother-in-law, dedicated to ACD, and inspired by the Sherlock Holmes stories, but starring A.J. Raffles, a gentleman of leisure and recreational crime rather than a detective. Accompanied by his admiring friend and narrator, nicknamed "Bunny", mischief is afoot.

It's very shippable, and if you have an interest in historical fiction, Edwardian London, or are a Holmes/Watson fan, you owe it to yourself to check it out.

The Annotated Version

I originally found the annotated stories on the Raffles Redux website and was struck how complete and informative the annotations assembled by Sarah Morrissey and Genevieve L. Morrissey were. In addition to explaining many obscure things the modern reader would otherwise have completely missed, they also collected profuse illustrations from past editions.

I was dismayed that this great addition to the original, public domain Raffles tales was only available (at the time) in this ephemeral form. My reading was greatly enhanced by all these insights into the period and places of the stories. When I recently discovered it was available in an Amazon print on demand edition I immediately bought it.

What a bittersweet experience it was to have the text! Yes! YES! The text is out! In a nice big block with breathing room for the annotations and a handsome typeset at that! What a thoughtful design, but what else should I have expected, considering how well done the annotations were?!

But what was bitter, you ask? Well, that cheap thin cardstock cover, which immediately curled up like Hokusai's Great Wave after I perused 3 pages of the first story. This was infuriating. This book deserves so much better. But! We have the means of production. I couldn't do anything about the "perfect-bound" spine, but i could definitely fix this woefully inadequate cover.

Views of the text, annotations, illustrations.

Let's Rectify This Injustice

I sliced the covers off and removed as much paper from the spine as possible. Scrounged out a moderately "old timey" sheet big enough for endpapers, cut and attached them. Glued mull and an Oxford hollow type kraft paper tube on this bad boy. And then built a case, using the remainder of the endpapers sheet to stretch the book cloth supply.

Then, fortuitously, from the discarded flimsy cover, I was able to salvage the JC Leyendecker portrait of Raffles. This piece was originally done for Collier's magazine, and oozing "late Edwardian cruising". Brother can you spare a light? JCL was a magician.

A sleep overnight in the press and now the complete annotated Raffles (x Bunny of course) finally has the proper treatment, complete with that exquisite side eye right where it deserves to be.

I am Back (ElmoFire.gif)

This is my first finished book project in 4 years. It felt great to get back into it.

I'm finishing up a number of Dead Dove Publishing projects that were partially done when I ground to a halt in summer of 2020. Wish me luck and stay tuned for more...

ArmoredSuperHeavy, 25 Dec 2024

Fanbinding project #162

[allwaswell16]

A One Direction fic rec of fics I think you should read twice as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers. You can find my other recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis / Harry -

🍒 This Multiplicity of Powers by @helloamhere

(E, 149k, X-Men au) Maybe there’s a universe where he doesn’t have to keep all his secrets on the inside. But this isn’t that universe.

🍒 There’s Such a Lot of World to See by @crinkle-eyed-boo

(E, 125k, Doctor Who au) Louis has seen a great many things throughout his travels in time and space, but only one he can’t explain: He keeps meeting the same boy, who says the same thing to him each time.

🍒 And What If I Were You by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom

(E, 109k, blind Louis) For Louis, will losing his sight give him the clarity to realise what is right in front of him? For Harry, will losing the love of his life give him the strength to finally open his heart?

🍒 ghost of you by beckywritesthings / @beckydoesthings

(E, 109k, Star Wars au) when Harry Styles, esteemed Jedi Knight, finds out he has to work with the hot-tempered Mandalorian Duke, Louis Tomlinson, he’s prepared for it to go poorly. But it doesn’t, testing both of their boundaries of what they deem acceptable for a partnership.

🍒 Black with Autumn Rain by whimsicule / @baroness-elsa

(T, 93k, magical realism) Harry is a journalist, Louis has lots of secrets and the moors aren't exactly the ideal place to rekindle a lost romance.

🍒 Nothing But You On My Mind by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense

(E, 83k, royal) Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles. Unfortunately for him, that means being faced with the Prince's constant innuendos, incessant dirty jokes, and relentless flirting. 

🍒 Unveiled by @phdmama

(M, 65k, omegaverse) most surprising are the people. There is a crowd gathered, filled with men and women, some in what looks to be a military uniform, some in what must be the street clothes in this Land. There are no robes. And not a single one of them is veiled.

🍒 Old Photographs & Times I'll Remember by @jaerie

(E, 53k, time travel) H.S. was likely the man in the photographs as well as the owner of the suitcase. Who was he? Why had his suitcase found its way into Niall’s attic? Was he still alive and well somewhere in the world? A camera, a suitcase, and a relationship forged through time.

🍒 Tied to Fate by @littlelouishiccups

(E, 52k, ghost) After his estranged father’s death, Harry inherits a castle in England that has belonged to his family for generations and he knows nothing about. When he breaks up with his boyfriend, Harry decides England is the perfect place for a small vacation. He isn’t prepared to meet Louis Tomlinson

🍒 The Second Hand Unwinds by @kingsofeverything

(E, 51k, time travel) Louis Tomlinson is one of the first members of NASA's top secret Chrono Exploration Program. When things go wrong and he's sent further back in time than planned, he has no other option than to show up on his ex-boyfriend's doorstep.

🍒 Tied Down by HamPalpert

(E, 48k, crime) The most interesting case in Liam and Niall's careers falls directly into their laps, courtesy of an epic fuck-up of one Harry Styles, partner to the almost-infamous drug dealer Louis Tomlinson. 

🍒 take my hand (and my heart and soul) by bananasandboots / @anylessreal

(M, 45k, amnesia) the one where Harry hasn't spoken to his best friend in sixteen months and can't remember why.

🍒 And That's The Tea by @2tiedships2

(M, 27k, soulmates) the one where Louis loses his soulmate before even getting the chance to meet them, and he is in no way prepared for the kind of distraction his new friend Harry proves to be.

🍒 No One Like You by myownspark / @myownsparknow

(M, 19k, historical) Where Liam and Niall are art historians discovering the truth about two nineteenth century painters on opposite sides of an artistic divide.

🍒 I Am the Blinking Light by @dearmrsawyer

(G, 19k, ghost) There is a legend of a lighthouse far out to sea. It can’t be found on any map, and those who do find it never return. They say a ghost haunts the lighthouse, and you can hear it calling out in loneliness on the ocean waves.

🍒 Have Me And Hold Me by @letsjustsee

(NR, 5k, established relationship)  a wedding day AU in which Louis will let nothing stand in the way of a perfect day - especially a little rain.

🍒 No One But You Got Me Feeling This Way by runaway_train / @runaway-train-works

(E, 3k, camboy) The one where Harry has a particular desire that only Louis can fulfill

- Rare Pairs -

🍒 I Had Rather (series) by sunsetmog / @magicalrocketships

(E, 261k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) Nick and Louis like each other, but sometimes that's not enough.

🍒 Miss Missing You by harriet_vane

(M, 16k, Liam/Louis) Louis wakes up after an accident with a year of memories gone and something not quite right about his relationship with Liam.

🍒 Favourite Boy by wordsnnotes / @quelsentiment

(T, 8k, Louis/Zayn) Zayn and Louis have been hook-ups for the past three years and Zayn is getting frustrated with it, but doesn't know what to do about it.

[alacants]

novandy headcanons?

what this ask is forcing me to do is confront how much of my conception of novandy is not my own thinking but was downloaded directly into my brain from anon bff who is the real expert here. like, i have a broad-strokes vision but i lack the minute knowledge of lore to have specific headcanons about specific events. (am i just a sentient sock puppet? maybe.)

ok my take more or less is:

for novak playing tennis against andy and then losing was frustrating in the moment but fun in the longterm. not saying that he enjoyed losing, lmao i think we're all on the same page there, but it didn't get in the way of the relationship.

for andy playing tennis against novak and then losing was very much NOT fun and very much DID get in the way of the relationship.

ever since it did novak has wanted and believed in the happy ending where they get past everything (expectations, disappointment, rivalry, interpersonal family drama, etc) and reconnect and have a special relationship again. just two old friends watching their kids play as the sun goes down.

the weight of expectation on andy—singlehandedly overcome the 77 year british men's tennis curse—was placed there by forces outside of his control.

the weight of expectation on novak—make my country proud, look after my family, make their sacrifices worth it, make my sacrifices worth it—was placed there by himself.

if as young players a magical wish-granting creature had presented novak with the chance to trade his future trophies for andy's health, there was 100% a point at which he would have made the deal, even if he later had cause to regret it. that moment passed. 

there was not a point at which andy would have made the same deal in reverse. and yet if you gave him the option of a do-over now, he wouldn't take it.

we talk a lot now about what roger's said about not wanting novak to crash the fedal lovefest. (even though—sidenote—if you ask me it took novak's ascendance to solidify the fedal lovefest, like once he was on the radar roger once and for all abandoned the dreams of glorious solitary splendor and fully embraced that rafa is GREAT rafa thinks i'm great rafa is my most special rivalfriendsituation. fuck this new kid.)

but at the time it wasn't just novak who seemed poised to do so. that is historical revisionism. in march 2009 the murray-federer h2h was 6-2. they were BOTH monster rookies and they were BOTH considered disrespectful kids with bad attitudes, and they were BOTH upsetting the established order of things, the established order where roger wins wimbledon and rafa wins roland garros and every so often they switch it up just for fun and they say all the right things about the sport and about each other and we all collectively achieve tennis nirvana.

(and at the same time they liked rafa and roger, to varying degrees, and it stung when they were written off.)

i'm just recapping bff's latest fic aren't i. well. they were right. flaps my sentient sock puppet mouth.

as far as novak is concerned, it was never supposed to be just him dethroning fedal, it was supposed to be him and andy, battling it out for all the big trophies and inheriting the mantle at the top and making the world acknowledge them. reality went differently and novak is still mad about it.

at some point, when you are mad enough that you can't have the thing you want, you might as well burn the rest of the world down instead. 

to this day novak really thinks of the two of them together on the same level! god this gets me so good every fucking time. #1 andy murray truther, i said before, and this is not a headcanon it's fact. "andy's the greatest returner i've ever played" is?? he???? and i'm saying that as a big 4 believer! (someday everyone who refers to the big 3 era is going to wake up locked in an interrogation room while novak explains his passions to them.)

i would love to know how much of current day novak believes that if he repeats this aloud often enough he will get that happy ending. 

PRIOR TO NOVEMBER 23 I WOULD HAVE SAID IT WASN'T GOING TO HAPPEN albeit mostly due to non-tennis reasons. i'm team kim.

but just when you think you've got it figured out, trust ultimate self-made cyborg-villain-hero-monster novak djokovic to knock over the table.

i genuinely have no fucking clue what's going to happen in australia.

[keytomind]

I am currently in my soft era and I am completely content with it.

I am done raising my voice. I am done being angry, especially over things that are out of my control. I have no desire to flex on anyone - I don’t care if you think I’m tough, weak, smart, dumb, attractive, ugly - I could care less. I am done being loud and I am even done with flirting - too many dick pics and bad attitudes have ruined women’s perceptions of men and I am done explaining myself to people who are incapable of receiving the message. People only believe what they wish to believe and cognitive dissonance is a son of a bitch. I am done proving myself to anybody but myself, and I accept the challenge.

I am done with things that no longer serve me any good. I am done with attitudes that are meant to bring me down. I am done with being a people pleaser. I am done with living a life that others wanted me to live. I am done with reaching out to people who need me, but do not want me. I am done wasting precious time and I am done with my past life.

I am the person who smiles at dogs… and horses… and donkeys. I smile at every child, even the little shits who scream obnoxiously just for a little bit of attention. I smile at them with a laugh. I smile at the touch of rain, beating off my skin. I smile at the sight of a delicious plate of food, whether I prepared it myself or if it was served to me by a young person just trying to make a living. I smile at the little old lady who is all by herself, believing that this world has passed her by and nobody gives a damn about her anymore. I smile at the jackass who thinks he is hotter shit than he really is - if they only knew.

I smile at the stranger who looks like they are having an awful day. I smile at the billboard that offers me an inspirational quote. I smile at the drawing that my niece made for me years ago and I refuse to throw away. I smile at the historical artifacts of my late brother. Sometimes, I smile at nothing at all, simply because I am happy and I have finally learned to manifest the life that I wish to live.

I used to interpret being “soft” as being weak, but rather than being weak, I have only grown stronger as I am more in control of my life than I have ever been, and with that comes tremendous strength. Being soft is a superpower that can only be manifested by someone who craves to grow, someone who wants more or better for themselves.

There is nothing left to prove. This is now my soft era, and I have grown to be stronger than ever.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

do you think that some of Harry's actions could be more than simply abuse? like i often take note of his small social groups/dislike of social situations, inability to regulate/understand emotion, lack of filter, hyperfixation on things, etc. and interpret him as an autistic character. i think there's also mirrors between magic itself and neurodivergence (just in the same way magic is often a metaphor for queerness within media), as something that someone is born with and has to hide from the wider world, historically regarded as "freakish", and the statistics that show that neurodivergent kids are more likely to be abused.

it could just be me projecting (as im autistic myself), but i'm curious if you've got any thoughts on this?

Honestly, I personally headcanon Harry as ADHD (because I have ADHD and am familiar with it), so I really get it.

How he interacts with people, his being so smart, but very unfocused in classes, his tendency to fail himself by overthinking things (when it comes to spell casting), and his issues with emotional regulation and occasionally understanding others (He's very compassionate, but he isn't the best at actually knowing to how to approach people. Like, not understanding why Cho was crying after Cedric died or just throwing Ron's blanket over Hermione in Deathly Hallows after Ron left because he didn’t know how to comfort her. Or in OotP when he saw Lavender and Praviti giggling about him, and he was sure it was about what the Prophet wrote and not that he got hot over the summer. He can be super awkward like that) can all be very easily read as Harry having some kind of neurodivergence.

I think that's a super valid reading of his character regardless of the type of neurodivergent you think he is. I mean, it's the 90s and the Wizarding World, so it's not like he'd ever get a diagnosis. Neither he nor anyone else is going to consider it, I mean, as bad as the muggle world at the time is about neurodivergence, the Wizarding World is probably worse.

Now, I'm not sure about magic in the Wizarding World being easily read as an allegory to autism (or anything similar). Like, you can read it however you want, but I don't personally see this treatment of magic as a whole.

I actually think the 'Harry is neurodivergent headcanon' extends to how he interacts with magic in an intuitive way that goes against how the textbooks teach but is easier for him. Like, I truly believe that one of the reasons he doesn't bother studying much is because how magic is thought about by most people is not how Harry understands it, and if someone only bothered to explain things to him in his own terms instead of the textbook terms he'd be the second coming of Merlin.

But Harry himself being neurodivergent is something I am 100% behind.

[fitzrove]

I went to see the Kaunas State Musical Theatre production of Elisabeth !!!!!! This was a super inventive and atmospheric non-replica version that I really enjoyed, so I’m writing down some rambly review thoughts down below.

(^ not the rudolf i saw - saw him as slutty lucheni kssk)

TL;DR - excellent production, very pretty, weird in thought-provoking ways. They never go the easy route on anything, it’s a dark fairytale!!! (Btw usually when people say that they mean it’s hot elisatod romance but I don’t mean that XD)

Table of Contents

1. Stage design / sets

2. Costumes

3. Orchestra and singing

4. Ensemble choreographies

5. Characters, relationships

STAGE DESIGN / SETS

RATING: 9/10

First of all - oh my god am I refreshed by a new production not looking like Schönbrunn/Vienna 2012 or like a bad copy of the Vienna original. In Kaunas, the whole colour palette is gothic, muted and dark, with lots of golds, browns and faded blues accented with red, white and gold light. We shift from scenes that look like a faded 19th century painting to dark ones with high contrast (the latter especially in the scenes with Death).

Instead of a file splitting the stage, there’s a kind of “ring” lit up at the edges (which changes colours) that lifts up to create an upper level, and descends to make a pool/mirror. There’s frameless mirrors on the walls, and the floor of the stage - to my knowledge, installed specifically for Elisabeth - can look wet or reflective depending on the scene. Characters sometimes see themselves in the mirror as they look at the floor. I’m not sure I’m explaining this properly but it looks really cool, I don’t really see many new productions go back to the ‘artifice’ and unreality themes reflected in the original set so it was cool to see!!! And of course, prop mirrors carried by the characters also sometimes appear.

There’s a screen at the back of the stage (above where the ring goes) that can be used for projections, and it’s used sparingly but to great effect. Often it’s just a black generally “wet” or fabric-y texture; during both Schattens there’s a misty grey graveyard that looks really cool; Hass is red; during Kitsch Lucheni has no props but we see funnily quick zooms into dinner plates with pictures of the Imperial family on them. It integrates very well into the more solid parts of the set!

Other solid setpieces include Death’s boat (a simple, non-ornate design out of a metallic-ish material with mysterious writing on it) that descends from the ceiling to take people away (no carriage here). It’s complemented by three similarly shaped vertical golden pieces, also with writing on them, which appear in scenes with court power dynamics present.

There’s also a big dark oval thing that appears a few times as a sort of threat from Death/to emphasise his presence. I like the boat more than the pieces, maybe because I don’t fully understand what the pieces mean heheh. I guess it adds to the “unknowable” vibes which I do enjoy, the set is generally very non-literal and symbolic which is cool. The movable parts of the set are extremely versatile: the same four dark pillar blocks can be used for almost any scene (coffee house, Boote in der Nacht, IGNM…) and fit it well, and Elisabeth’s coffin (seen in Prolog) becomes her bed (or some side table she was lying on as a prank XD) and then a garden table.

Another very visible part of the production are the portrait faces !! Members of the ensemble hold up historically accurate pictures of Elisabeth’s relatives (including Rudolf heheh…) with light-up edges during Prolog and Sinking World, which then change into a billion portraits of Elisabeth (which Lucheni can’t stand to see) at the point of each number when they sing her name. I like it so much, it was one of the things I knew about this production that made me interested enough to want to go watch it!

COSTUMES

RATING: 8/10

Disclaimer - I am a historical accuracy hater when it comes to Elisabeth costumes. Firstly, exact reproductions are creatively boring; secondly, it’s not the point of the show; thirdly, in many cases it’s simply not possible for theatres to put excessive resources into a costume seen in one or two scenes in a single show. State-owned repertory theatres in smaller countries reuse like crazy!! So that’s a disclaimer to start with hahaha. I want costumes to look good and make sense, not compare them to irl pictures ksksks.

I really liked Kaunas Elisabeth’s portrait dress, which also served as her Hungarian coronation dress :D It’s like a golden sparkle explosion sksks, which stands out very strongly from the rest of the stage and the simple brown and black dresses of other ladies present - it gets the point across. In general, Elisabeth is the only really colourful member of the cast with her white nightgown, dressing gown and (historically accurate xD) black and white ribbon outfit, which emphasise her uniqueness and isolation; she also wears a completely black outfit towards the end. Rudolf (both adult and child) and Franz Joseph have identical faded blue (coat) + light cream/white costumes (pants), which are SO much better looking than the overly saturated bright cyan things we’ve been seeing in some recent productions skkss.

I was initially sceptical of Death’s outfit (he never changes it save for covering up his tits with a scarf/towel thing when he’s playing doctor sksk) because it looks a lot like the pleather Schönbrunn outfit I don’t like :-D But it’s actually constructed completely differently!! The way the leather jacket falls makes it have more work uniform/ferryman vibes, and then for some slutty reason he has pants, a corset (?) and no shirt underneath XD I think it works, man chest is not my favourite aesthetic but it’s distinctive and fits the storytelling…

LOVED Lucheni’s outfit!! :D To me it’s meant to be basic and everyman-y and it definitely was here, BUT it’s lined with red everywhere inside (and the soles of his shoes are red too), and for reasons that will become apparent later, that made me insane. Also leather pants slay xD

Additionally, I really liked Sophie’s outfits and the Frau Wolf’s salon costumes, with golden hoop skirts that were open at the back. I especially liked the outfit of Frau Wolf herself omg, it’s a Prussian (I assume akaksk) uniform coat draped over the bodysuit+skirt combo that the girls wear. Looks so cool and I really like the idea and symbolism of that! also the frau wolfs I saw were really hot in their role skskksks, special mention here also to Elisabeth’s chief lady-in-waiting on the second day because dommy mo---

At first I was a bit annoyed at some of the ensemble costumes for lacking individual details (the ones in Vienna 92 have so much going on), but tbh the uniform look they went for with them (especially concerning colour palette) really emphasised Elisabeth’s isolation from the court and ordinary people, so I liked that. I guess I appreciate the outfits for how they come together to create the show, even if the individual ones aren’t crazy pretty to me or anything hahah. Although the ones for Elisabeth’s ladies-in-waiting had amazingly pretty bodice/corset parts!!

ORCHESTRA AND SINGING

10/10

I liked the orchestra, it was definitely more of a full “opera house” type sound which I find nicer than musicals with less-than-3-people “bands” lol. Sounded good!! A special note must also be made about the fact that the KSMT seems to cast more flexibly than bigger productions, which is great. I don’t like it when every performer has the same musical theatre/pop combo voice which is too common rn lol, it just seems boring to me. But we got a lot of fuller/lower female voices (than there usually are in musicals) and more operatic male voices in both leading roles and the ensemble, which made for a more interesting overall sound. It wasn’t too operatic either, just the right balance I think.

The soloists were seriously impressive!! Some crazy long notes in Schatten 1, an insane IGNM reprise opt-up from Elisabeth… I really enjoyed the performances despite not understanding any lyrics heheh.

ENSEMBLE / CHOREOGRAPHIES

7/10

I saw the show twice and didn’t like some of the ensemble choreographies first lmao. It’s a very operatic style of directing - the only “proper” dancing is Elisabeth and FJ waltzing, and a “Death’s shadows” dance group that accompanies him in a few numbers - with lots of simple, repeated arm and leg movements, either synchronized or in “waves”. For some songs it fits really well because of the melody - the coffee house scene and Hass come to mind, both were well done - but in others like Alle Fragen I was skeptical upon first viewing.

In Alle Fragen specifically there’s lots of extremely repetitive, non-synchronised crossing themselves, chest-beating (mea culpa), kneeling, etc. At first I found this a bit kitschy/weird, and didn’t really like it. However, I changed my mind when I visited a church the morning before show #2 and actually saw two guys do the exact same thing upon entering it!!!!!! It’s a reference to actual self-blessing rituals, at least among Lithuanian Catholics, which seems really inventive heheh - making a localized reference the main target audience would really notice/understand !!! So upon second viewing, I ended up liking it.

CHARACTERS AND RELATIONSHIPS

Probably the most important aspect heheh. In the two shows that I saw, Franz Joseph, Elisabeth, Sophie and several ensemble members were played by different performers each day, but Rudolf, Death and Lucheni were the same each time. Gonna ramble about each character one by one I guess kskssk.

The two Elisabeths I saw (Marija Arutiunova and Gabrielė Bielskytė) were very different!!! Gabrielė was a more “traditional” Elisabeth, a bit melancholy from the start and becoming further so as the story progresses. I enjoyed her performance a lot and her vocal performance was flawless. Marija, on the other hand, I was concerned about at first because she’s SO enthusiastic (almost annoyingly hahah) in “Wie du”, practically bouncing off the floor hahah. But that actually ended up working really well. A common worry people have about newer Elisabeth productions is that she comes across too innocent and Disney Princess-y; from the first number I was afraid that would happen, but to my surprise, that was not at all the case. She plays a really strong character arc and the Elisabeth of act 2 was practically unrecognisable to me from Elisabeth in act 1. She was so full of joy and life at the start and her environment just sucks all of that out of her!!! It’s such a cool way to play it and I ended up really liking that.

They do a really clever thing in “Prolog” and “Wie du”. Prolog has Elisabeth’s body on top of a stone coffin under a white sheet, as a setpiece. At the start of Wie du we find out that it was Elisabeth herself the whole time - she emerges from beneath the sheet and spooks her dad lmao. Something something symbolism and smooth scene transition XD

Much like Marija’s Elisabeth characterisation, I was also skeptical of the Elisatod in this production at first XD Especially with how Marija played it - again, enthusiasm. The blocking between them is occasionally very POTO music of the night skksks. BUT (as a known hater of romantic elisatod skks) the touchiness actually worked for me because of how Death was portrayed (more on that later) and also because of how their relationship played out.

Elisabeth, as a teenager, seems fascinated by death as some romanticised adventure (one among many other adventures to be had) - she’s not afraid of it, finds beauty in it, etc. A very realistically adolescent point of view, also present in Der Letzte Tanz (though it’s much less gentle this time)!! But by the time her first child dies (Schatten 1), it dawns on her how horrible and cruel and unfair death (Death?) can be - and this is perfectly portrayed by Death handing her a knife in this scene and acting as if it’s totally normal and he’s helping her somehow. She’s completely broken down and distraught while holding it and snaps out of it when FJ comes up to her and hugs her. Such a strong turning point!! And he offers her the knife several other times. Overall I really see this as a symbolic relationship (my favourite type), Death is not at all “some guy” but a personified concept that Elisabeth has a constantly changing relationship to.

Also - the prologue and the prelude to DSF (whenever the judge is speaking) have a young Elisabeth (literal child actress) coiling the “red string of fate” around her hands, mouthing along the judge’s lines. So neat!! In the prologue, Death descends in his boat because she slowly pulls him in (he’s holding the string in his hand). And right before Lucheni goes to stab the older Elisabeth, the child stops him by laughing in his face… mm crunchy symbolism >:) he’s haunted heheh

Death himself (Egidijus Bavikinas) is a weirdo XD I called him “silly rabbit” at intermission and the name stuck aksksksl. He’s good at his job (quite kind to people when they die) but doesn’t really get most human concepts even though he sings Rondo and says in the prolog that he loved Elisabeth ksks. He’s a bit outraged/genuinely surprised when Elisabeth marries FJ, and genuinely perplexed when Elisabeth doesn’t kill herself despite repeated friendly suggestions skksks. He doesn’t seem ever to do cruel things intentionally, he’s just there to put people on his boat (except Rudolf for some reason skks). I think my interpretation of him might be slightly impeded by not understanding the lyrics - he just seems aloof (in a neutral, non-mean way) even at moments when I know he’s singing stuff like “you love me more than you love your husband” hahah. But yeah, I think he’s fine, he sings well and is occasionally unintentionally funny which entertains me enough.

Lucheni is a SLUT xD Martynas Beinaris normally plays Rudolf but has apparently been mainly Lucheni for quite a bit now, and I had him as Lucheni both times. I guess the right word is “flamboyant”, very energetic and with lots of flair, it was always a great joy to watch him go. I liked the way he says “Death” in the prologue skls, seems a bit obsessed… And of course, I can’t not mention the ending of the show!!!!!!! Elisabeth and Death get into Death’s boat together, it starts to lift up, and slowly we see that Lucheni has hanged himself with the red thread of fate that binds the two, and his last act is to reach up towards the boat, eternally unable to join them…………. the symbolism… gay repression... or something… love it!! (Reminder that Lucheni has red all over the more hidden parts of his costume… red inner linings of the coat, red soles… the gay repression interpretation writes itself skskls. Obsessed)

Franz Joseph is there adlskks. He was very good both days, I liked a moment the second day (with Raimondas Baranauskas) between him and Elisabeth when they almost hold/touch hands after Rudolf dies :’) and he was very excited to hang out with Elisabeth kssk, he’s just giggling and running around in Bad Ischl which was pretty fun (though he puts on the imperial mask pretty quickly after).

The FJ and Sophie relationship was soo well drawn! There was a symbolic thing where he gets dressed in the lead-up to “Jedem gibt er das seine” - attendants do the rest, but she puts white gloves on him as she tells him to be cold and hard. In Bellaria, he angrily takes his gloves off and throws them on the floor; Death picks them up and wears them to lead her offstage, perhaps as a form of comfort? Really cool!

Rudolf (Jurgis Jarašius) is my meow meow… he takes one big swig of a wine bottle during the song right before Schatten 2 and then falls facedown on the floor and has to be picked up by Death (indirectly - Death makes his shadow angel people put their hands all over Rudolf to do group bondage on him two separate times skslls, yay xD). After Schatten he falls on his face again and FJ walks up to him singing to him (Rudolf I’m so angry with you) and looks vaguely disappointed WHILE RUDOLF IS STILL LYING ON THE FLOOR and Rudolf has to slowly get up while FJ disapproves kskslsl. He has big fluffy hair and he’s gay but doesn’t want to know what that is and is vaguely scared of it skksks, just has weird obsessive feelings about tits out leather coat man (he stares a lot and tries to run to him, leans in as if wanting to get closer, but Death keeps rebuffing him and tossing him away skks). The todolf is weird and indirect in this production, there’s a quick kiss that lands somewhere in the cheek-lip area ksksks and a repeat of the head-hug/caress that Death does to Elisabeth. It’s weird and freaky and kind of cool lmao. After Rudolf shoots himself, Death closes his eyes for him, which is a pretty sweet moment. Also on the second day he was rage-weeping during Spiegel which I really like.

The Mayerling staging in this production is great!! After Spiegel, Rudolf tries to run out of the room but is blocked by a mirror (held by one of Death’s shadows); he tries again, but one by one the mirrors surround him from all sides and he’s just stuck in this small narrow space with nowhere to go, just forced to face himself over and over. Very piercing and accurate allegory for mental illness!!! Enjoyed. Put him in the torment nexus heheheh

I guess that’s all of my most important thoughts… :D Will add if I think of something else!