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#i am having A Time with college right now /neg
ornithological · 5 months
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there is/was an adult breeding plumage wilson's phalarope in donegal today 😳😳😳
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floral-hex · 3 months
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real sad boy hours
#why? just ‘cause.#actually I’m here at this chess tournament my brother is entered in. sitting by myself in the lobby waiting for him to finish his last game#and I’m honest to goodness trying not to openly weep. I feel so stupid#hold on. give me a second bc just writing this makes#makes me start crying a little and there are people around#life is too short#I love this kid. I’ve loved watching him grow up. and I’m always ALWAYS aware that everything is passing so fast#will I be here with him next year? will he outgrow all of this?#we don’t hang out as much anymore. he’s got his teenage things going on. his own life.#I don’t know. I’m trying to appreciate these moments as much as I can#it’s hard though. I feel like shit. my head hurts. my tinnitus has been driving me crazy#it’s hard to be present when you’re in a fog#last night in the hotel room we didn’t even really hang out. he just played on his phone until he slept. which is totally his right.#I just… I just hope I’m really appreciating this time#ok now I feel stupid for kind of crying in this hotel while lots of people walk around#i don’t know what more I could even do now. it’s not like I’m allowed to go watch him play or I can do anything but wait#I suppose I have to keep asking myself ‘am I appreciating this enough?’ and if I’m not then try to work on that#life is really shitty right now but I know there have been countless times I wish I’d been more present#so I wake up tired today and drink coffee & 5 hour energy and still I’m tired and my head hurts but I’ve still gotta try. just a little.#in a couple of years he’ll be off to college and have his own life#and it won’t be him and I going to the movies or driving him to school or having dinner together#anyway… juuuuust sad. and lonely. straight up not having a good time#but also I’m glad I’m here if only to hang around my brother a little bit#IAN! stop! god I feel so stupid letting myself wallow like this. it’s not helping. it’s just making me sad. focusing on the negatives.#whatevs. I’ve got major depression. suck my butt. I’m allowed to be sad sometimes.#this weekend didn’t really go like I thought#I guess I expected to read more and shoot the shit with my brother and hang out more but it’s whatever. life happens.#my mental & physical health has been bad for a couple months now so I couldn’t have reasonably expected to suddenly be great just because 🤷🏻#oh well!#text
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negative in tags cuz i like writing tags note: there's 2 other posts expanding on this post just a little idk if they'll be posted before or after this one but they are or will be all on the same day
#]]???#]]H0K0#QUEUE#07/20/23#now that ive had time to think i do feel genuinely sorry for the things i said especially as of recent to certain people#they werent right & although i would apologize to them i dont want to bother them & i dont really want them to bother me either#i think id be afraid of arbitrarily pushing a deadline to reply on myself again instead of giving my time to think & lash out again#but i believe in that “energy” i put out like cursing (not full as rituals just sort of manifesting) & general negative energy#i dont think i can retract said energy so all i will say now & hope for is that they live a nice life & future#if i didnt feel so isolated i would have treated my friend group right#keeping in mind that it was NOT their fault i felt isolated#i literally isolated myself & only really had them as friend group. i only went outside when i had to for doctors appointments#the only thing is i wish they engaged with me more especially my art#but i wouldve been happier with what they gave me if i had other sources for that so it isnt their fault#i only had them & my partner basically for attention & due to the fact i would refuse to meet new people i unfortunately went to thinking#any attention is good attention. so i would fight to get attention. & yeah it worked. ultimately i believe thats what made it hard to stop#especially step away because to me in my head i was thinking “finally”#& this is for me to say to myself & not prove anything anything...that was fucking toxic#I should have just talked to more people and thank god i am now#i mean im goijg to college & im excited. ive been trying to talk in some more servers. (although its a bit hard cuz fatigue)#although seeing them in things i enjoy still gives me a lot of anxiety i dont wish any ill will on them anymore because they dont deserve i#i hope i can get back in therapy to learn how to better break down my walls & trust people#it is rather sad that even my own partner doesnt know a lot of my past & he jokes about me being an enigma. i might share a thing i made#but not explain why because i think its inadvertently exposing weakness#i still have my own struggles to overcome but theres no reason why i need to inflict people with pain#& for all of that i am incredibly sorry#i unblocked a lot of people because to me its like finding peace with myself#(and thats a personal thing i dont think anybody needs to unblock anybody for anything if they dont want to.)#(it's ultimately removing them from my account because blocked users are still attached to your account under a setting)#out of tags but this isnt a direct apology but more of a self reflection hence all the talk about myself
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star-sim · 7 months
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boy's night ☆ riki nishimura
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☆ summary: riki had no game, no rizz, which was why he employed the help of his six friends to text you. warning: having seven boys on the phone trying to text a girl does not give good results! ☆ genre: fluff, all enhypen members make an appearance, boys being boys, very stupid, it's getting rizzy in here but clearly i have negative game ☆ warning(s)? no just silliness :3 ☆ word count: 1.7k words
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"Oh my god, she texted me!" was the sentence that completely destroyed Jake Sim's house.
Tonight, Riki was having a sleepover at Jake's house. It was supposed to be a chill night, a night in which Riki could bask in his friends' presence before they went off to college again.
There were many perks to being the youngest in his friend group. It seemed like Heeseung, Jay, and Jake forever saw him as their baby, after all, when they all met as children, Riki was a snotty little four year-old, constantly tattling on the older boys. Regardless, it was nearly impossible for them to not fuss over him, constantly asking if he ate yet or if he needed help. Sunghoon teased the ever-living shit out of Riki, sure, but the older boy never hesitated to take Riki's side whenever there was an argument. Sunoo and Jungwon were closest to Riki in age, but that didn't stop them from watching over him closely, like mother cats stalking their cubs.
Though, there was one thing that Riki had to admit that he hated about being the youngest: he was the most inexperienced.
Whenever his friends got their 'firsts,' he was always too young to care. It seemed like all his friends got to experience their first crushes and heartbreaks almost simultaneously, only for them to not be there when Riki had his.
Even when he was now a senior in high school, he had absolutely no idea how to talk to girls.
He'd heard all the stories about Heeseung and his antics at college, all the flirting tips that Jake liked to give out to Sunghoon and Jay, and all the crazed texts that Sunoo and Jungwon sent as they went through relationships.
Even so, Riki had never experienced teenage love for himself.
Enter: You.
You were the cute girl that sat in front of him in his Macroeconomics class. If it wasn't for the fact that Riki absolutely hated Macro, he would blame the fact that you were just so pretty that he couldn't bring himself to focus on the lecture about the New York Stock Exchange.
Initially, Riki had no intention of pursuing you.
You were cute, obviously, but hearing you talk to your partner in class was enough for him. Plus, it wasn't like Riki had any experience— even if he wanted to talk to you, he had no idea how to!
Except, thanks to his nosy friends, your name had been discussed what felt like a million times by the end of the week.
"So... [Name], eh?" was the first thing Sunghoon said as Riki's camera turned on during their weekly weekend FaceTime calls.
"This is so exciting, Riki," Heeseung said as he joined the call.
"Wait, how do you know her again?" Sunoo's voice cut in. "Sorry, my Wi-Fi is bad. You said you know her from Macro?"
With a little more prying, his friends managed to get a middle-school level confession out of Riki.
"I-I just think she's really pretty, and like, she's really smart," Riki huffed, "I don't think she likes me like that— I've never even spoken to her! Like, I can't talk to women, I straight up am a mess and the other day—oh my god— she looked at me and I think I almost passed out. What do I do? I actually cannot do thi—
".... But you think she's pretty, right?"
And that's how Riki managed to get your phone number. With the help of his friends (that felt more like them feeding into his delusions), he worked up the courage to stutter out a simple question.
And when you smiled, nodding enthusiastically as you typed your contact into his phone, Riki felt his soul leave his body.
So, it wasn’t hard to imagine the havoc that engulfed Jake Sim's house (the place of the sleepover) as Riki's phone pinged, your contact name showing up.
It was already late at night, so the boys were raiding Jake's pantry to get midnight snacks. 
The moment that Riki announced that you had just, in fact, texted him first, everyone stopped in their tracks.
"Oh shit!" Jay shouted as he jumped over Jake's sofa, bowl of cereal still in hand.
The sound of crashing as Heeseung knocked over the ramen cups, as well as cutlery dropping abruptly and cabinets slamming filled the house.
"Oi, don't mess up my kitchen!" Jake yelled as his feet pounded against his stairs, scrambling so fast that he practically glided downstairs. After Jungwon spilled milk on his shirt, he was half-way through putting on a new shirt as he clambered down.
"What did she—" Sunoo pushed Jay out of the way, knocking the older boy over as he plopped down next to Riki on the living room carpet and peeked over his shoulder— "What did she say?!"
Within seconds, all six of his friends were huddled around Riki, pushing each other out of the way to catch a glimpse of what you said.
"Move your fatass head!"
"I can't see!"
As his friends argued, Riki stared at his phone, chewing on his bottom lip. His heart was pounding in his chest. He only saw the notification, and didn't see what you said yet.
What if you said something crazy, like "I just found out about that one time in first grade when you peed yourself at the playground" even though Riki and all his friends agreed to never speak of that incident again?! Or, what if you confessed your everlasting love for him in a long paragraph?
His head was spinning.
"Wait, did you open the message yet?!" Jungwon abruptly yelled into Riki's ear.
"No..." Riki answered slowly, watching the way all of his friends' once tense faces soften with relief.
"Oh my god," Jake sighed in relief.
"Phhhhheeewww!" Heeseung said dramatically.
"Why?" Riki frowned. "What's wrong with opening the message?"
"[Name] can see if you read her message if you open it," Sunghoon said matter-of-factly. 
"Why is that a bad thing?"
All of his friends groaned.
They taught him a trick: swipe just enough so that he could see the message, but not enough that the system marks it as read.
Hey, was all you said, much to Riki's relief.
"What do I say?" Riki asked, clutching his phone. His eyes flickered to his friends as he sucked his bottom lip under his teeth pensively. "How do I respond to this?"
"Just say 'hey' back!" Jay blurted.
"No!" Heeseung shook his head profusely. "Anything but that!"
"Why not? You want him to say haiiii instead?" Sunghoon nudged the older boy.
"No, no, no!" Jungwon reached across to smack Sunghoon's knee. "All of you are wrong."
Jungwon turned to Riki. "Just respond with an emoji."
They all groaned loudly.
"Okay, anything but a goddamn emoji!"
Riki ended up typing out a simple hey in response. He had to make Sunoo press send for him, squeezing his eyes shut. Riki immediately shut his phone off, placing it face down.
"I don't want to see if she responds or not!" Riki moaned. 
Within a minute or two, his phone pinged again.
"She responded!"
Even though you only asked, How was your day?, the entire house was once again invigorated. The boys shrieked, whooping and hitting Riki's shoulder, so loud that the house probably shook.
"Oh my god, it's happening!"
"Ouuuuu, she wants you, Riki!"
"Everyone shut the fuck up, it's time to lock in, oh my god it's actually happening—"
And just as everyone settled back down, ready to give Riki their mind-blowing advice, his phone dinged again.
[Attachment: 1 photo]. It was a silly picture of you, one of those cute ones that showed your eyes, clearly taken on the spot. 
"OHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Shewantsyousobadohmygo—"
According to Jake, if a girl sends you a picture of herself, no matter how silly or cute it is, she is head over heels for you.
"One message at a time!" Jay yelled over Jake's shoulder as they tried to figure out how to respond. "You need to answer her question first and then respond to the picture!"
"No! Don't respond to the picture!" Sunghoon, who was all the way in the guest bathroom, yelled from behind the bathroom door, his voice both booming and muffled. "She'll think you're weird!"
"I agree," Sunoo said.
"I agree," Jungwon mocked him in a nasally voice, earning a slap to the shoulder. "Just heart the picture!"
But their arguing fell upon deaf ears.
"Riki, what are you doing?!"
Riki was on his own, his heart beating at the tip of his fingers.
I hung out with my friends today and it was fun, how was yours? was his first response. Pressing on the picture, he responded, You look cute.
When Riki glanced over at his friends, they were sprawled across the floor, crying aloud dramatically.
"It's over."
"You're insane."
"Fumbled."
Riki threw a pillow at them. "I didn't fumble— Oh shoot, she's typing!"
The house was once again filled with screaming and crashing as they scampered to Riki's side.
You typed for a few moments. Everyone was at the edge of their seat, simply begging to see how you'd respond. But then, you stopped.
"Good game, guys."
"100% over."
Riki chewed on his thumb, his eyes glued to his phone screen. Did he creep you out? Was it weird for him to say that you looked cute? Did he fuck up?
But then you finally replied.
My day was just filled with homework, very boring, you replied. Maybe if I spent it with you it would have been more fun.
Oh.
My.
God.
Riki's hands shook as he typed back another response, completely ignoring the complete and utter disaster around him. He didn't know what came over him. He wouldn't say any of the things that he typed out loud, let alone to your face. It was like he was possessed by some spirit that gave him the courage to type. Without even noticing it, his heart was palpitating in his chest, his entire face, neck, and ears covered in a red shade.
I'm free tomorrow, he typed. 
"RIKI WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU—"
Okay, you simply responded. 12PM. The Block. Let's have fun.
"D-Did she just ask you out?"
Riki glanced at this phone, then at his friends, who stared at him with eyes as wide as saucers and their jaws dropped to the floor, then back at his phone. He blinked. "Yeah."
"Yes?!"
Riki blinked again. "Yeah."
.
.
.
And then it hit him.
"Oh my god, [Name] asked me out...!"
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daretoassume · 1 month
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spiritual lessons i learned before turning 20
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it was exactly january 1st, 2021, when i began my self-development journey. i think most of us experienced some unpleasant things in 2020. that year led me to my spiritual path and taught me many things about loving myself. i spent my whole year by myself, meditating, reading books, and practicing conscious manifesting. these things brought out the best in me and guided me on how i perceive the world and life in a better way.
1. don't try to fit in. after all, you are not here to stay.
in my high school days, i always wanted to fit in because it was so hard for me to make friends while observing my other classmates; it was so effortless for them. i wanted to have that friend group, so i tried to fit in by doing what they were doing so i could be acceptable to them.
it was so unhealthy to dislike other people, judge them behind their backs, and waste each other's time. i became someone i am not. i eventually left them because i realized, "if these people i am with can speak negatively about others behind their backs, what makes me think that they are not going to do that to me as well?"
we all want to feel like we belong, but being someone you are not is not the way to feel like you belong. isn't it exhausting always trying to fit in to feel like you belong?
you are supposed to stand out. you are supposed to have your own personality and embrace your qualities. after you love yourself enough and embrace yourself, the right people will come to you, and you will not feel like you are trying to fit in. our life is too short to spend trying to fit in; we might as well look within and be who we are meant to be.
2. don't follow the crowd they are also lost.
it is almost the same as the first one, but this one concerns following society or social norms. we are taught to do one thing because it is more acceptable than the other. who is accepting it? did they say something when they accepted it? are they proud because we followed them?
i thought i had always wanted to be a flight attendant, so i took a tourism degree. where does that thought come from? it was from my family; growing up, they mentioned that i should either be in hospitality or take a tourism degree. i wanted them to be proud of me, so i took that degree, thinking it was my dream.
while i decided to choose that, i didn't consider any other degree because i thought i wanted that for myself. i was not aware. this is the first thing i learned in 2021: to choose the life i want for myself; unapologetically, i am now following the path i am supposed to take while in college.
there is always something in our hearts that we want to do. follow that even if you think it is ridiculous. follow that, even if other people think it is ridiculous. just because you do something different doesn't mean you are crazy. i mean, the world is crazy enough, and following the crowd without awareness is one of them.
3. when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
everything is perception. the meaning you give to everything in your life becomes your reality. and if we think about it, this is a life-changing lesson. the way you look at things determines whether you are going to be mad, happy, sad, or envious. our eyes don't see; our eyes are the only tool our mind uses. and our mind will determine what perception it is that we have.
do you believe that people are kind and friendly or out to get you? whatever you choose, that is what you will create for yourself.
it is about changing your attitude towards situations that did not come your way. change how you look at things in a way that will serve you better so that what is outside of you doesn't control what you feel.
it doesn't mean that if you change your perception, the situation will change as well; it will not, but it will change how you see it. it is how we see things that make us live better. it is inside what we need to change to see life in a beautiful way to create a beautiful life we will love to look at.
remember, where we focus our energy, it will expand. it is nice to develop positivity and love just by focusing on it. i don't mean to have toxic positivity. of course, not every day is love and light; we can dwell on it, but we also have to know when to stop.
4. don't take it personally.
i have learned this the hard way, and i am still learning. other people might say something about us, but it is not about us; what they say is more about them. when somebody calls me "dumb, ugly, stupid, weak, worthless," it is not about me; it is about them.
tell me, what kind of person will say that to another person if they are mentally sane? maybe they are having a bad day and decided to put that on me; perhaps they feel that inside and put that on me (without being aware); it is never about us.
the same goes for someone who calls you "beautiful, nice, amazing"; do you think a person will tell you that if they don't already see that in themselves?
hurt people hurt people, and healed people heal people.
but whenever you are being judged and criticized negatively, remember that a person who is love and light will spread love and light. try not to get upset with people. what they say or what they do is powerless without your reaction. if we get frustrated, we take their trash and make it our own. how can we see life better if our environment controls our thoughts and feelings?
5. introspective work is the most important thing to do.
we are the only ones in our inner world; why not make it a safe space for us? try filling it with love, positive thoughts, and kindness. our inner world reflects our outer world.
you see, if you feel good, you do good and smile at the world. but when we are feeling negative, especially mad, we sometimes put that on other people. if we feel envious, resentful, anxious, or depressed, these are things that we should work on inside, not outside.
we cannot control what is outside; the environment, the situation, and the turbulence on our journey are beyond our control. what we can only control is what is inside.
everything starts within. even in manifesting, we don't look at our reality and ask, "where is it? where is my manifestation?" we see that in our minds first before it comes to fruition. we believe and feel that we already have it; we even fix our self-concept to align with the vibration of what we want before it manifests in our reality. all these things come from our inner world.
do much reflection on how you speak to yourself in your mind, and be aware if it is kind or tormenting you. suppose you think that the outer world is quite harsh. in that case, people are being unkind, or you feel negative about life, turn to your inner world; maybe you are neglecting something inside of you that needs the most attention and introspection. 𓍯 entryfromsane003 (extracted from the old blog two years ago)
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anothermansjeans · 4 months
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hear me out...
youtuber reader making a tiktok of spencer teaching while she's sitting in on one of his classes and people just thirsting over him in the comments
the comments... they'd be feral
cw: talks of serial killers, college girls love spencer reid (im a college girl and can confirm), comments are thirsty
wc: 526
youtuber!reader masterlist
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Recently, Spencer has been doing some guest lectures at the nearby college. It was something he loved doing– teaching, that is– and he invited you to sit in on one of the lectures after hearing how jealous you were of all those college girls who audited (though you’ll never admit you were jealous, those words were completely out of Spencer’s mouth).
You sat in the back of the room, making sure not to disturb anyone who was there to actually learn. You couldn't help but to peek your phone out and capture some moments on video every now and then.
“And so the United States has the highest number of serial killers in the world.” He spoke with his hands, all eyes zoning in on them, “but according to a study, the number of active serial killers has decreased. This decrease could be because of the lag time in identifying serial killers.”
The lecture went on for another hour, and you captured a few more moments, from more serial killer facts to a joke. “A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, ‘In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative.’ But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, ‘Yeah, right’.” Unfortunately, no one really got the joke, but he quickly moved on from it. When it was over and Spencer finally finished speaking to the last girl, you walked up to him with a cheeky smile.
“Wow, Dr. Reid, you were so great up there. Do you mind giving me a private tutoring session,” you batted your eyelashes as he scoffed.
“Funny.”
“I’m just doing what all of those other girls did! They were practically drooling over you.”
“They were not!” His voice went up an octave, causing you to laugh.
“Mhmm,” you straightened out his tie as you spoke, “I got some footage of you teaching. Can I post it? You can watch it before answering, and you don't have to feel like you need to say ‘yes’. I just thought–”
“You can post it.”
You paused your movements and gave him your full attention, “you're sure?”
“Yeah.” He brought his hands to your hips, giving them a quick squeeze, “I trust you. I also know how your followers act, and I'm interested in seeing the comments.”
A cackle left your mouth, “oh my, God. Your ego.”
“I do not!”
“Mhmm, whatever you say babe.”
++
Bonus: some comments
@ user: GIRLLL BARK BARK BARK
@ user1: y/n can you fight?
@ user2: HIS HANDS??? girl not to be THIRSTING OVER YOUR MAN BUT WTF
@ user3: you are so strong… i see that girl in front of you checking him out 😭
@ user4: how are you not currently frothing at the mouth
@ user5: he's SMART and KIND and HANDSOME AND YOU ARE LIVING THE LIFE WE ALL WANT
@ user6: i am trying to be so respectful girl 😔✊
@ user7: god has favorites and you're one of them fr fr
@ user8: why are YOU BOTH SO ATTRACTIVE
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youtuber!reader taglist: @im-a-ghost666 @lyd14k4y @happiestcat @hauntedtv13 @obi-wansgirl @charismatic-writer @navs-bhat @itsleilabxtch @strabarrybat @hiireadstuff @cherrybb-ily @wietske27 @mynameiskelly @mcntsee @aremuslupinsimp @universallyblizzardlove
let me know if you would like to be added or removed!
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v-hope · 4 months
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glad you’re missing TF bc me too, i wanna see them finally settling and knowing they’re ready for the next big step in their lives or even just discussing building a family after grad or when they’re at a good stage in their careers🥺🤧
pairing: jeon jeongguk x reader
genre: slight angst, flufffff, established relationship, non-idol au
warnings: pregnancy scare, mentions of condoms, mentions of unprotected sex
word count: 2.3k
a/n: um. hello after years lolll. i started going through very old requests in my ask box yesterday in case i found anything that’d bring some inspiration to my very uninspired self, and i found manyyyy tiger flower ones and this one in particular reminded me of a headcanon of mine that i never wrote nor mentioned (i think) but for some reason it was??? an actual Thing???? in my mind????? so yeah lol here i am. i don’t think anyone even cares about tiger flower (minus one person. u know who u are<3) anymore, BUT fuck it, i missed them and enjoyed writing this. i hope whoever reads it enjoys it too, bye<333
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A pregnancy scare wasn’t something you were expecting only two months into moving in together after your graduation. It wasn’t something you were expecting at all.
At most, you and Jeongguk had agreed on getting a puppy as a new addition to your family of two. Said discussion happened when the two of you had only been together for a few months, a little over a year ago, where you both agreed on moving in together after you graduated college and then get a puppy right away.
Moving in together was not up for debate — you knew so the moment Jeongguk got a job in the last year of college and so did you, saving enough money to get a decent place and looking for apartments throughout the entire year, so you could secure a lease as soon as your previous ones ended. On the other hand, although you were still excited as hell to get a dog, once you were settled in your shared place, you were both too busy and overwhelmed trying to keep up with your new jobs and all the new changes in your lives to even think of adding another responsibility on top of them all, let alone one that had to do with a living creature.
If neither of you felt ready to get a puppy yet, how the hell were you supposed to raise a child?
Your heart beat so fast against your chest, you felt like you would pass out any moment, as you paced around the bathroom while you waited for the pregnancy test to tell you whether you’d bring another human being to the world in nine more months or not. Endless thoughts running through your mind as you did so, and you internally cursed at yourself for not having waited outside with Jeongguk instead — God knows you needed his arms around you to bring you comfort.
You definitely needed Jeongguk to hold you, you realised the second the alarm you set as soon as you took the test finally went off, managing to somehow turn it off with your shaky hands, and fighting not to drop your phone as you took a deep breath and closed your eyes for a moment before taking a look to the test on the sink.
Once you earned enough courage to finally open your eyes and focus them on it, you exhaled all the air you didn’t know you were holding up until then — instant relief washing through your body.
Negative.
You were given another chance not to raise a child when neither of you were ready.
And yet, a part of you couldn’t help but feel a little bit disappointed, empty even, now that said possibility was out of the way.
Although it was not the right time, a family with Jeongguk was something you’d always be happy about — and something you were only now realising you longed for way more than you thought you did.
Coming out of the bathroom and meeting a very distressed Jeongguk waiting right outside the door, you shook your head no right away, just like that letting him know you were on the clear this time around.
He let out a heavy, shaky sigh, rubbing his eyes with his palms as he processed the news, before he pulled you into his arms like you so badly needed him to — melting into his familiar touch and inhaling his scent as you felt yourself begin to calm down.
He said nothing, you said nothing. Your arms around one another and feeling each other’s comfort were all you needed right then.
Jeongguk didn’t let go until he felt your body stop trembling, only pulling away enough to rest his forehead on yours and cup your face in his warm hands.
“You okay?” He wondered; for a change, not being able to tell what the expression on your face meant right then.
He genuinely didn’t know whether you were relieved or not. And, therefore, he didn’t know how to react to the news. Yes, he had sighed in relief a minute ago, but that was as much as he’d let himself express until he knew how you felt about the whole situation.
You nodded, still a little bit stunned — not knowing whether you should say what was on your mind. Then again, it was Jeongguk the one in front of you, holding you. You knew you could tell him anything and he would understand, or at least try his best to do so.
“Is it wrong that I feel a little bit disappointed?” You finally mumbled, catching his attention. “I mean, I know we’re not ready, and we haven’t planned it at all and I would be so fucking terrified had it turned out positive, but, I just…”
“I get it,” he stepped up when he realised you wouldn’t talk anymore, gently reaching for your hands and holding them in his. “Of course I’m relieved we’re not having a baby right now, but… a part of me really wants to start a family with you now”.
“Now?” You playfully raised an eyebrow.
“Not now,” he panicked. “But, I mean, in the near future, but not that nea—ugh, you get it”.
You couldn’t hold back a giggle, biting your lip when he rested his head on your shoulder, embarrassedly hiding his face in the crook of your neck.
“I know,” you reassured him, running your thumb on the back of his hand. “I can’t wait to start a family with you either. It’d be cute, wouldn’t it?”
He nodded — one hundred percent on board with it, yet pensively.
Up until that day, you hadn’t really discussed your future together. It was more of a given. Unspoken, but you both knew you wanted everything with each other. From moving in together, to getting married, to having kids, to growing old together.
Maybe it was finally time for you to actually bring those thoughts up.
“What do you think is a good age for us to start trying?” Jeongguk wondered, his voice gentle as ever.
You puckered your lips as you pondered your options. “I mean, we’re only twenty three this year… Maybe in another two or three more?”
“Yeah…” he quietly agreed. “We still need to get the hang of living together on our own…”
“Getting a puppy…” you added.
“Save some money” Jeongguk considered.
“Get a bigger place”.
“Get married”.
You smiled at his addition, feeling the by now very familiar butterflies fill your stomach. Reaching your hand up to cup his cheek, you sweetly ran your thumb over the corner of his mouth.
“You wanna marry me?”
“I am marrying you, Y/N” he confidently stated, only to feel his cheeks burn the next second when he caught the way your eyes lit up. “I mean, if you’ll take me, of course…”
You giggled once again, this time throwing your head slightly back as you rejoiced at the new bit of information your boyfriend had just provided you with. “I am marrying you so hard one day, Jeon Jeongguk”.
He beamed, giggling against your mouth as he searched for it and trapped your bottom lip in between his smiling ones.
You couldn’t help but let out a breathy laugh of your own, wrapping your arms around his neck when he held you up by your thighs and took you to the sofa only a few steps away in your living room — not letting go of you for a second as he carefully lied on his back with you on top of him.
Lying your face comfortably on his chest, and running your fingertips up and down on it, you let out a contented sigh.
“So, kids sometime after we’re twenty six?” You returned to your previous conversation, before you got carried away by your desire to spend the rest of your lives together.
He hummed in response. “We should already have achieved all our previous goals by then, so I think it’s the most reasonable”.
“After twenty six it is then” you settled, smiling brightly when he reached for your hand and interlaced your fingers. “How many would you like?”
“Two or three would be nice,” Jeongguk confessed. “I’m okay with as many as you’re willing to have, though”.
“I always thought two… a girl and a boy” you admitted, feeling him smile against your head. “But I wouldn’t mind having three of them with you” a smile curved up your lips at the simple thought.
He chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to your head. “Two girls and a boy, or two boys and a girl…”
“What if it’s three girls?” You looked up at him.
“That’d be nice” he smiled.
“And if it’s three boys?”
“That’d be nice, too”.
“Mhm…” you squinted your eyes, suspiciously staring into his. “You want at least one girl so bad, Jeon Jeongguk”.
“I didn’t say that?” He defended himself.
“I can see it in your eyes” you playfully poked his forehead.
He rolled his eyes in amusement, tightening his hold on your hand to stop you from poking him again. “Well, sue me for wanting a mini version of you”.
Your heart melted, and you were pouting before you knew it. “I want a mini bun, too”.
“Too bad, we’re only having three girls now” he teased.
“Shut up,” you whined, slumping your face back down on his chest. “You just created a new need for me”.
Jeongguk’s chest trembled as a blissful laugh escaped his lips, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you so close to him you almost found it hard to breathe. You would never complain about it, though, let alone when his lips began to pepper kiss after kiss on the crown of your head.
“I love you,” he said. “And honestly I’ll be happy with whatever sex they are as long as they’re ours and we raise them together”.
His words brought tears to your eyes and a lump in your throat, being apparently still too sensitive over the whole situation not to feel like crying when he said the most reassuring words you needed to hear.
“You’re gonna make me cry” you let him know, looking up to meet his doe eyes once more. “But I’ll be the happiest as long as that’s the case, too”.
Jeongguk smiled timidly, gently pushing your chin slightly up for your lips to come in contact with his; pressing a soft kiss on them before his arms were once again tightening their hold around your waist.
“I’m sorry” he mumbled, nuzzling your hair.
“What for?” You questioned.
Jeongguk shrugged, fingers drawing small circles on your back. “For putting you through this…”
You chuckled, burying your face in his neck. “It takes two to make a child, bunny. Which we didn’t get to make, by the way”.
“I know,” he pouted, holding you somehow tighter against his body. “But last time I was too horny to go get a condom”.
You snorted. “Nothing we haven’t done before. We just tested our luck for the hundredth time and it backfired on us for once”.
Although you weren’t looking at him right then, you knew a pout had just formed on his bottom lip. You tenderly kissed his chest, in hopes of making the sad look on his pretty face go away.
When you felt him be distraught still, you decided to switch the mood a little bit.
“Still, I did have the scare of my life, so we’re going on a sex strike for a bit”.
His mouth fell open in disbelief, pulling you up by your shoulders so he could look you in the eye. “You’re not serious”.
“I am” you stated, trying your best not to allow your lips to break into a smile. “One month at least”.
“At least?!”
“Aren’t you the one who went twenty one whole years without having sex?” You raised a teasing eyebrow. “This should be nothing to you”.
“Petal…” he whined, hiding his face in your neck. “It’s not the same now”.
“Why not?”
“Because I got a taste of it with you two years ago and I can’t control myself around you now, you know it”.
“Sucks to be you” you shrugged. “One month starting today”.
Letting out a defeated cry that could only have you finally releasing the laugh you managed to hold for so long, he rested his head back against the couch.
“Can this month end already”.
“So you’re just accepting your fate?” You were the one in disbelief now. “You won’t even try to convince me otherwise?”
“No, it’s up to you” he said, closing his eyes as he threw an arm over them. “If you don’t want me to touch you then I’ll just keep my hands to myself and suffer in silence”.
You half cooed, half laughed, not having expected such a touching answer to your playful question. Then again, it was Jeongguk the one you were dating; you should know better by now.
Removing his arm from his face, you pressed a brief kiss on his nose. “I love you, bun” you ran your fingers through his hair. “As if I’d be able to go a whole month without jumping your bones”.
“Now don’t say it like that” he laughed, throwing one of his legs over your body and making you lie on your sides now.
Properly face to face now, you cupped his cheek and gently caressed it as you rested your forehead on his. “Give me two weeks tops to shake the fear off my body?”
He nodded, lovingly bumping his nose on yours. “As long as you need me to”.
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urfavstargirl · 1 year
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inner man challenge! (´。• ᵕ •。`) ♡
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hey babes!! okay, i know i said i was going on break but i got this sudden inspiration and yk i had to make a post!! so this challenge is called the inner man challenge, because it's all about fulfilling your inner man and staying in the wish fulfilled!!
WHAT IS THE GOAL FOR THIS CHALLENGE? ★
making the state of the wish fulfilled your dwelling state
fulfilling your inner man
falling in love with imagination
not caring about the 3d
FIRST STEP! ★
this is crucial! remove the intention of manifesting to be for getting in the 3d!!! "but girl.. the whole point of manifesting is to get it in the 3d" okay yes, if u want to believe that i can't change your mind. but to get it in the 3d we need to be fulfilled, and you can't be in the SOWF if you are still trying to get it! read this if ur still confused <3
me personally i feel like the reason why some people don't get results from methods, challenges etc is because they are doing the method to get it in the 3d, not to feel fulfilled. but thats just me 🤷🏾‍♀️
SECOND STEP! ★
now for the fun part, decide what you want!! df, db, sp, a billion bucks in ur account, being the smartest of ur class, moving out of your paren'ts home, getting into your dream college, literally go wild!!
THIRD STEP! ★
fulfill your inner man when your inner man needs fulfilling! if something bad arises in the 3d that shakes ur confidence, fulfill!
having the urge to look in ur bank account to see if you have a billion bucks? close your eyes, imagine your inner man looking at her bank account and seeing the numbers go up by the second!
one of your family members makes a comment about how ugly you are?? would your inner man care?? NO! bc she's fine asf!
if anything 'bad' happens in the 3d, imagine your inner man saying "uh.. thats cute but i'm living my dream life rn sooo.."
WAIT, IS THERE A SCHEDULE? ★
there's no schedule to this challenge!! no "in the morning say 1409834 affirmations, in the afternoon vaunt for 3 hours, in the night do starfish position and affirm for the void" NO!! literally just fulfill your inner man when ur inner man needs fulfilling!!
"don't force yourself to do a method you don't want to do! don't force yourself to visualize the same scene someone else even though it doesn't create any feeling of knowing inside of you and feels like a chore to you. don't repeat affirmations if you don't want to and don't repeat an aff you don't resonate with. do what you think is fun! and do what feels natural to you! by taking the pressure of being perfect off yourself, it's easier to imagine in order to experience, rather than to get it in your 3d." - @remcycl333
HOW DO I STAY IN THE STATE OF WISH FULFILLED THE ENTIRE DAY? ★
no need to stay in the SOWF the entire day, we are always changing states! for example, right now you're in the state of reading this post, and i am in the state of writing this post. it's all about making the SOWF your dwelling state! so if you accidentally stay in the state of lack 7 times but you are in the SOWF 8 times, then the SOWF is your dwelling state! (btw don't count the times you enter a state lmao)
ANYTHING ELSE? ★
get off tumblr, just delete the app.. like this place is literally just making you overconsume. you have better things to do!
if you have a negative thought don't spiral and think all your progress has gone to waste. breathe in and out, your inner man has it and that's all that matters.
have fun!! this challenge isn't like other challenges (soo quirky i know 😜), it's meant to fulfill you instead of making you stress about the 3d. make fun scenarios in your head, vaunt, just have a good time!!
WHEN you get successes (whatever you consider to be a success: feeling that your inner man is fulfilled, or getting it in the 3d) send it to me or make a post about it using #star's-inner-man-challenge!
if you have any questions let me know in my inbox, bye yall!! 💞
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To Reject a Vampire
Male Vampire Yandere x Gender Neutral Reader (CW: Non-con, vampire, biting, blood drinking, depressed reader, mind control, smut, blowjob, forced imprisonment, dead dove: do not eat, general yandere behavior) Word Count: 3.4k  (Vampire comm that took me way too long.) 
You were walking back home late one night with your friend, Jaime. You had known each other since childhood and remained inseparable. In fact, the two of you even lived right next door to one another. He had left for college for some years, but had returned as soon as he had become a registered nurse. The two of you often hung out when you were both off work and that sometimes led to walking to the gas station a couple blocks down the road to grab some snacks. You were both laughing from recounting a particularly funny memory you both shared when the sounds of laughter and chatter between the two of you suddenly died down into silence before he spoke. "Hey… there's something I wanted to ask you…" Oh no. Not again… "Have you maybe reconsidered us dating? I know you said no before but-" This was an ongoing problem with Jaime, the only thing really marring an otherwise near perfect friendship. He kept persistently asking you out. This had been going on for years now and your frustration finally got the better of you, making you snap. "NO!" You yelled interrupting him, "NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOO!!! It isn't happening! I am totally and completely uninterested in having any type of non-platonic relationship with ANYONE! Stop. Asking. It is NEVER going to happen. Not in this world or the next. Not in any way, shape, form, nor fashion! Get. It. Through. Your. Thick. Skull." You were panting after your outburst. A few seconds passed and you realized how harsh you had been as his face went from stunned silence to utter broken despair. You could practically hear his heart shatter. He often got a bit dejected when you had rejected him in the past, but this time you were much more harsh. With a sniff he started sobbing and running off towards home, leaving you to walk home alone in the quiet night. Sighing you slowly trudged home, sure that Jaime just needed to sulk for a few days before your friendship resumed with the both of you pretending like this awkward episode never happened. And, more than likely, that is just exactly what would have happened. Had a chance encounter on his way home not irreversibly changed Jaime forever. And not for the better. As Jaime was running home his tear filled eyes blinded him to the danger that was stalking him from the shadows. A sneaky predator who loved the taste tormenting his prey imparted, and how much sweeter when his meal was already flavored with the sweet marinade of sorrow and heartbreak? Suddenly Jaime was tackled into a dark alley that he was passing, the vampire easily dragging him back into the void where no eyes could pierce, firmly clasping his hand over Jaime's mouth to keep him quiet. The unknown assailant put his nose into the crook of Jaime's neck and inhaled deeply, savoring the mouthwatering scents of all the negative emotions Jaime had been experiencing that night. The current one being abject terror as the figure behind him didn't even acknowledge his vain attempts at struggling. "I'd tell you not to struggle, but it is really much more fun when you do," mused a deep man's voice. Jaime, whose first thought was that he was getting mugged, now thought that he was going to be raped as his attacker licked and kissed his neck in the same manner one's lover would. And he flailed all the more vigorously. Unperturbed, the man now violated Jaime in an altogether different and unexpected manner. Sinking long fangs easily into the soft flesh of his neck before sucking him nearly dry. It was amazing how thoroughly a vampire could drain a victim. Jaime died, but his murderer was not quite done with him. He loved sowing discord and chaos in any way that he could manage it, and having seen the spectacle early of you rejecting his victim he knew there was ruination and mayhem to be had by creating a fresh, unguided, love-sick vampire. So he bit open his wrist a bit and let the blood flow into the parted lips of our dear departed Jaime. Within an hour he would no longer be so dear nor so departed. And the unknown vampire stepped into the shadows and was never seen there again, happy with his meal and the knowledge that he had certainly derailed more than one life that night. When Jaime woke up hours later, just as the sun was rising, he had a major migraine, a sharp pain in his neck, was chilled to the bone, and felt like he was starving. His memory was spotty, he thought maybe he had been mugged, but he still had his phone and wallet on him. Maybe just assaulted by some crazy person. Whatever had happened he was alive and okay, so he shakily got to his feet, dusted himself off, and made his way home. By the time he had reanimated you had been in bed for hours. Though you hadn't really slept well. You felt so guilty for exploding on him like that. Sure, he kept asking you out, but it wasn't too often and you could have gone about rejecting him just a bit more gently. He had been really hurt, what if he didn't blow it off and resume your friendship like he usually did? After a few days had passed with no contact from him you began to get a bit more anxious, though it was still technically within the normal timeframe of when he usually started talking to you again after you turned down his advances. Still, given the way you had lashed out at him you figured that you should maybe be the one to check up on him instead. Jaime had a reason for not talking to you, what with his transition into a blood feeding immortal taking up most of his time. At first he had no idea at all what was happening to him. He felt cold and feverish and was beyond fatigued. He called off work from the first day, thinking he had a minor flu of some sort. All his senses were disorienting him. His body was adjusting to more sensitive vision, sense of smell, and even touch. The second day he felt better, but had an insatiable hunger, no matter what he ate nothing seemed to satisfy him. He ate a huge breakfast before work and at lunch he ate a lot as well. Some of his coworkers at the hospital even joked about how he was inhaling food that day. Jaime had no clue why he felt like he was starving no matter how much he ate. As someone in the medical field any number of possible causes went through his mind. Nothing really fit. A more concerning symptom was that whenever he was around a wounded patient, whenever he had to do a blood transfusion, or even just whenever he got the faintest whiff of blood his hunger flared up. His senses flared in sensitivity. He could almost have sworn he could hear the heartbeats of those near him. He realized he was craving the blood. It scared him, the thought made him nauseous. Admirably he managed to push away his quite literal blood lust for a couple days, but eventually he could fight his need for blood no longer. It was late at night at the end of his shift and he was beyond certain the coast was clear so he snuck into the storage room where the blood packs are kept and sunk his teeth into one, unknowingly growing fangs as he pierced it and sucked it dry. If the obvious signs hadn't been enough to clue him in on what he now was then innate instinctual knowledge that filled him with his first ingestion of vital human essence did. He was a vampire. A million thoughts raced through his mind, but his first priority was sating his hunger. He quickly grabbed some bags of blood and stuffed them into his coat for later before leaving for home. He was oddly excited, eager to test out what new abilities he had. A day later, when both of you were off work, you finally got a text from him asking to hang out with no mention of what had occurred between the two of you the other night. You breathed a sigh of relief, now things could go back to normal. The two of you had arranged for you to come by his house in a couple hours so the two of you could hang out, order pizza, and play video games. Just like the good old days. Things went entirely normal with no odd deviation or indication that Jaime was now a creature of the night. And it set the pace for your friendship to resume as if nothing had ever happened. Or so you thought, in the weeks since the two of you first started hanging out again Jaime had steadily been experimenting and training with his new found abilities. He had learned that he had an absurd tolerance to pain, extremely quick reflexes, and unholy strength. But, most importantly, he learned that he could compel anyone to do his bidding. He had plans to use this technique on you, but it wasn't quite perfected yet. Though every time he used it he got more and more effective. All he needed was practice and time. So while you went about life and continued your longest running friendship in blissful ignorance of what was to come he was readying himself for the day he could make you love him. When that day arrived it started like any other, you two hanging out at his place on a day when you were both off. But it definitely didn't stay that way. Jaime was at the point with his skill where he no longer even needed to issue commands verbally, he just needed good eye contact to assert his will over another being. "Hey is something wrong? Why are you staring at me so intensel-" You instantly went still and quiet. It was like you were trapped in your own body unable to do anything. When Jaime asked you if you would go out with him you wanted to say no but your lips were not your own and you said yes in a monotone voice. Jaime wore a shit-eating grin as he scooted closer to you and kissed you deeply. You were repulsed and afraid, why weren't you pushing him away, why weren't you slapping him, why were you returning the kiss? You wanted to scream and run away but you could do nothing to control your own body. Instead you wrapped your arms around him and made out with him. Jaime was thrilled, he bit your neck carefully and fed from you as you clung to him. You felt a sharp pain in your neck but could do nothing against it as he tasted your blood. For you it was hell, like a much worse and very real version of sleep paralysis. For Jaime it was heaven, he had never felt closer to you than in that moment. His beloved was finally in his arms and could do nothing to leave them. But he most certainly was not satisfied with that alone for long. Jaime carried you bridal style up to his bed. He very carefully undressed you, as if you were the most delicate doll to ever exist, and stood for a moment admiring every inch of your exposed body. You wanted to shout for help. To cover up. To run. To fight. ANYTHING but lay there under his unwavering gaze. But no matter how hard you tried to fight it you simply couldn't, you were a hostage in your mind, able to see and feel everything but do nothing. The first thing he did, after disrobing, was to attend to your sex. He touched your crouch carefully, as if afraid to hurt you. Like you might shatter at the slightest rough touch. He ran his eager hands, shaking with excitement, over every inch of you. He stroked your cheek tenderly and played with your hair, felt over your chest and thighs and hips. When he had thoroughly explored you and there were no more areas for his hands to discover he decided he needed to go deeper. The vampire took two lubed fingers and slowly worked them into you, gently prying your entrance open and stretching you to be ready for him. He savored every sensation and fold inside you, hard as a rock as he imagined his cock where his fingers were. You couldn't even cry as he violated you, you were denied even that emotional release. And this remained the case even as he slathered his cock with lube and aligned it with your entrance and made his way inside you with his slightly above average dick. Jaime was torturously slow as he "made love" with his dear partner. You just wanted this nightmare to be over, you wanted to believe that at any moment you would wake up sweating in bed like you would from any bad dream. You had to stare wide-eyed, made to take it all in, as he looked at you lovingly. He kissed you deeply, and once more you were made to comply, parting your lips so that he could move his tongue inside. Jaime happily rubbed his tongue against yours as he worked towards filling you with his hot seed. As he approached his climax he gripped your hip painfully and picked up the pace, really drilling you as deeply and as forcefully as he could, his balls slapping into you with each painful thrust. Right before he came he slowed down as much as possibly, wanting to draw out the sensation for as long as he could. Slowwwwwwly pulling out before sliding just as slowly back in, repeating this a few times before thrusting forward and emptying his balls into you as he bit the side of your neck that he left untouched earlier. You came too just as he did, your body now betraying you even further than it had already and in the most humiliating way. He drank a bit before sliding his dick out of you and kissing your cheek. "That was amazing babe! I love you so much!" And as a puppet pulled by its strings you replied, once more in monotone, "I love you too." And the illusion was shattered. It wasn't real. He may have had you, he may have even had your vocal chords, but he didn't have your emotions. And he soon learned that no matter what he tried, even though he could get you to do almost any action, he couldn't force you to love him. Jaime tried for weeks to force love for him into you, keeping you locked away in his house whenever he left for work. You tried to leave, of course, but simple orders lingered in you even when he was no longer present. You couldn't leave or get help in any way. All of your existence now amounted to was enduring his increasing frustration with being unable to make you love him interspersed with periods of anxiety while waiting for him to get home from work and torture you all over again. You were no longer aware of exactly how long you had been trapped, the days all kind of blended together. Most days he had work at the hospital and those days were all largely the same with little to no variation. Jaime would get up and make you breakfast in bed, insisting that he was trying to spoil you. You, in a mix of depression and defiance would not take a single bite and just stare at the plate that he brought to you on a tray with your favorite morning drink. Inevitably he would get frustrated, snap at you, force you to eat against your will, and slam the door as he went off to work. Then you were left alone, it was probably the only almost decent part of your day, but everything just seemed so hopeless. Inevitably the blood sucking parasite would be back and you couldn’t leave no matter how hard you tried to. At each attempt it was like someone seized your body and squeezed you into immobility until you submitted. When your “lover” got home he would fawn over you, often giving you a little gift. A small gesture you supposed was meant to somehow make you forget everything and fall helplessly in love with him. A small sweet treat, a flower, a tiny teddy bear. Anytime he tried this tactic you always ignored it or threw it across the room. Either way the result was the same. Jaime would snap, he would not even bother forcing you mentally as he grabbed your weak arms and bit painfully into your neck. “No please! I’m s-sorry!” You would cry, always regretting your action but never being able to stop yourself from denying his gifts when he offered them. And for the next part he would use his ability of compulsion to make you stop fighting. In his fury he wanted to hurt you a bit, but not TOO badly, and he enjoyed, for a moment, the fantasy that you were a willing participant. Most of the time he would then have you remove your clothing before sliding himself inside you, biting and kissing and sucking your neck as he did so, whispering how you were all his and about how much he loved you softly into your ear. Sometimes he would instead utilize your soft lips, jamming his hard cock down your throat, making you service him. The heat of your wet mouth combined with the sight of you looking up at him with his cock in your mouth was almost enough to make him blow his load immediately. You were just so beautiful. No matter the method that he chose it always ended the same. After his finished unloading into you his mind would clear and then be filled with rage as you were unable to reciprocate his love and enjoyment of the forced intimacy between the two of you. Jaime would angrily shove you aside, leaving you to clean yourself up, while he slammed the door to the bedroom and went to go make dinner. When it was ready of course he always found you laying where he left you, sobbing. Then he would, roughly, force you to your feet and drag you into the bathroom where he would run you a bath. This is where he would feel really guilty and suddenly turn soft. Every time. Gently shampooing your hair and cleaning your body, tenderly attending to the bites on your neck, happily babbling about how much he loves you and he knows you’ll love him eventually, you just need more time to adjust was all. Jaime would then clothe you himself and carry you down to dinner. You wouldn’t eat willingly, too catatonic by this point in the evening to do much of anything, but that was okay. Jaime was still in his sweet phase, all the anger having left earlier. He would feed you himself but compel you to swallow with his vampiric power, he always made your favorites. He had diligently learned to cook them perfectly for you over the years even though he otherwise did not enjoy cooking. After dinner he would always make an effort to spend some time with you, not getting angry when you were still, and when it was time for bed he would carry you up in his strong arms and lay you down as if you were made of the thinnest glass, a complete 180 to how he treated you when he first got off work. He would snuggle up to you from behind and hold you close, ending each night by telling you how much he loved you and saying he knew deep down you loved him back and one day you would be so happy with him. You hoped he was right, you hoped you could just be happy waking up in his arms, because if not this cycle of abuse juxtaposed to tenderness would never end.
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princessxt · 3 months
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hiii, i loved your hotch fic so much, could you maybe write a spencer reid x daughter one where he and the team interview y/n as a potential unsub and then reid finds out she's his daughter that he didn't know about, or any plot you want to write :) i hope you have an amazing day <3
You can make a request in the comments or by asking me a question!
You can see the list of who I write about here
like and follow to encourage me to keep posting<33
She Looks Like You
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Pairing(s):Spencer Reid x Daugther Reader
Gender:Fluffy
Warning: none?
——————♥︎♥︎——————
Spencer never imagined himself in a family, with a wife, children, a dog and a house with a white picket fence. Contact with girls his age was embarrassing, as he generally couldn't stop talking about subjects that bored the girls. He had only two relationships in his life, and in both of them, the ending was devastating for Spencer. The first was in his last year at college. He met a lovely girl, dated her for a few months, but she disappeared from college. without telling Spencer. For a while he thought the worst could have happened to her, but when he contacted her family, they just told him she was fine and for the boy to leave her alone. And in his second relationship , well, we all know what happened to Mavie.those were the losses of Spencer's life.
He could get over it, after all, he didn't think he would have a family anyway.
He knew that his work took a lot of time, and that could strain a marriage, in addition to how dangerous it would be, considering what happened to Hotch's wife. He may have been shaken by his last relationship, but he didn't let it destroy him. , and now you're here, trying harder than ever to continue saving lives.
The case the team was on was not a case of a serial killer. A couple had been murdered, and the only evidence the local police had was a strand of hair, from the killer, which according to the tests was a woman.
It didn't take long for the team to put together a profile, which led to a young girl.
They didn't have the motivation, but they had in mind that during an interrogation she could say something that would be useful for the case. When the young woman was already in the interrogation room, the agents entered.
"Are you Y/N Y/L/N?" Hotch asks, sitting in front of the young woman, making the young woman look at him with contempt. Spencer was behind Hotch, just watching her, finding her face familiar.
"Unfortunately"She throws her body back and leans against the chair, bored.
"Do you know why you're here?" The older man looks at the files in front of her, waiting for the right moment to show them to the girl.
"It looks like I'm suspected of something." She looks at Hotch, staring at him.
"Do you recognize this couple?" He shows the photos of the crime scene, with the dead couple in one of the photos. Her reaction was not what the agents expected. In the profile, they said that when the killer saw the photos of the crime scene , she wouldn't have a negative reaction, and would just stare at the photos, without a sign of remorse, but Y/n, the moment she saw the photos, turned her face away, feeling her stomach turn and her lunch return to her throat. Place your hand over the photos and close the file.
"Look, am I going to get arrested?" She looks at Hotch, angry that he showed her those horrible photos.
"You can leave at any time. But first, we need a DNA sample." Hotch takes the folders off the table and places them on her lap.
"DNA? Don't you need a warrant for that?" She gets up and grabs the coat that was on the chair.
"Not if you let us collect it willingly and make everything easier." Hotch follows her with his eyes, watching her go to the door.
"Bad luck for you, I'm not the type to make things easy." He opens the door and leaves, without looking back, leaving Hotch and Reid alone in the room.
"Do you think she has something to do with murder?" Spencer finally speaks.
"Her reaction wasn't what we imagined. We need a mandate, we'll only know for sure when the results come out." Hotch gets up from his chair and leaves the room, going to provide the mandate.
A few hours later they were already at the door of Y/n's house, with the warrant in hand, ready to collect the DNA.
They knock on the door and the girl answers, looking disappointed by the agents at her door.
"Let me guess, they came to get my DNA?" The agents agree and she gives them space to enter.
"Mom, those agents are here!" She shouts towards the second floor of the house.
The agents deliver the warrant to the girl. A few minutes later, a woman, approaching 35 years old, appears. Spencer could recognize her from miles away. It was Melissa, her first love. The one who disappeared without telling him anything.
"Do you really think my daughter killed that couple? This has to be a joke." She sits next to her daughter and takes the warrant from her hand, reading it in a few seconds.
"I'm Agent Aaron Hotchner, and this is Dr. Spencer Reid." Hotch follows the manual, and introduces himself to the girl. When she hears Reid's name, her body tenses, and being a profiler, Spencer notices it. .
"A saliva sample and a strand of hair. Get it over with." The girl gets up and comes face to face with Hotch, who takes all the materials needed to do the collection. He takes the saliva sample and the hair, leaving the house then.
They take the sample to the laboratory. The next day, the result went directly to Garcia.
"Guys, I have some bad news, the DNA is not compatible. I'm sorry" Garcia says on the other end of the phone, the team sighs in disappointment, knowing that whoever killed the couple was still out there.
"Wait, here in the files it says that she is compatible with an agent." Garcia says and everyone looks at each other.
"What do you mean compatible with an agent? Is there any document saying she's adopted?" JJ says and gets closer to the phone.
"It doesn't say anything, I'll try to get into the file, just a minute." She stays silent and everyone in the room can hear the keyboard making noise. A minute later, Garcia sees the last thing she could imagine on her screen. one "Oh no" and the whole team is confused.
"Garcia, what did you think?"Emily asks, crossing her arms.
"I'll send it to you" is the only thing she responds. After that, the agents received a file over the phone, and what was written left everyone in shock.
"Spencer, is she... is she your... daughter?" Derek asks, staring blankly at the document. Spencer didn't know what to say or how to react. This had crossed his mind when he found out that Y/n's mother was Melissa, but he believed that if she was pregnant she would have told him.
"Reid, is that possible?" Hotch looks at him, who was motionless.
"I dated her mother during college, maybe it is." He didn't know if he wanted that to be true or a lie. He started thinking about everything, and remembered the date of birth he saw in Y/n's file. a few months after Melissa disappeared. He no longer had any doubts.
"Thanks Garcia, if you find out anything else let us know"JJ hangs up.
"So, she's no longer a suspect." Emily tries to change the atmosphere in the room, drawing everyone's attention to the case.
"Spencer, can I talk to you?" Hotch calls him and they leave the room.
"This is something very important, Spencer. Go figure it out, take the rest of the day off and talk to Melissa and Y/n, you have a lot to discuss" Spencer agrees. He grabs his things and goes to Melissa's house, knocking on the door.
She opens the door and says "I was waiting for you. I knew that after Y/n's exams came out you would come here. You can come in." She gives Spencer space to enter.
"You knew, and you didn't tell me anything."Spencer stops in front of her, in disbelief at everything that was happening.
"Would you like something to drink? Water, juice, beer." She goes to the kitchen followed by Spencer.
"You can sit"She points to some benches on the kitchen counter. She goes to the fridge and takes out 2 beers.
"I don't drink." Spencer says dryly.
"Then some water"She takes a bottle of water.
"Where is Y/n?" he takes a sip of water, calming down.
"He's at a friend's house, he won't be back until night, we have all the time in the world to catch up." She mocks the last part.
"Does she know? That I'm her father?" He says.
"She don't even suspect it."
"Why didn't you tell me?" He looks at her, remembering the past, the time when they were together.
"You were about to graduate and join the FBI, I knew that when that happened, she and I would be in the crosshairs of anyone who wanted revenge on you. I did it to protect my daughter."
"I would quit the FBI without thinking twice. I would graduate and look for a good job so I could take care of her. You should have told me, given me the chance to see my daughter grow up" At that moment, Spencer's eyes were about to look fills with tears, thinking about all the memories he missed in his daughter's life.
The silence in the kitchen was embarrassing. Neither of them knew what to say.
"I want to be part of her life from now on." Spencer breaks the silence.
"I don't know if she'll want to. Last night she spent the night talking about how idiots you and your colleague were." She laughs.
"I want to at least try, help me get her to support me." He looks at her, who avoids looking into her eyes.
"I can talk to her tonight, explain everything, and if she wants to see you, I'll call you." She says and finally looks the doctor in the eye.
"What is she like? Is she smart, kind?" He asks wanting to know more about her.
"She looks like you. She's smart, kind to people she likes, but she has my personality." She smiles remembering her daughter.
The rest of the afternoon was peaceful, they talked a little more about her the girl. When Spencer returns to the hotel, he waits for a response from Melissa, to find out whether or not Y/n wants to have contact with him. It doesn't take long until he receives a message from Melissa.
*Tomorrow, at 4 pm at the cafe in the center, she will meet you there*
He smiles reading the message, but feels nervous about having contact with the girl, now that he knows she is his daughter.
The other day, Spencer couldn't stop thinking about her date with Y/n, he thought about bringing something to please her, but he didn't know what she liked.
When it was time, Spencer went to the cafe, sitting at a table and waiting for Y/n. She arrived some time later, going directly to the table. Both, not knowing how to greet each other, just exchanged a "Hi".
"So, did your mother explain everything?" Spencer tries to calm the atmosphere. The girl only responds with a "Yes."
Spencer and Y/n knew that creating a father-daughter relationship would be a challenge, but they both liked being challenged.
——————♥︎♥︎——————
Hii, if you have a better idea for a title, you can tell me in the comments!
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shycloudkitty · 7 months
Text
Could this Valentine's Day be any better?
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Summary: Unfortunately, you are sick this Valentine's day. All the plans you made were gone to trash. Although, Leon still tries his best to make it a special day for you and him. And by best it means… the one that both of you will remember for the lifetime. ;)
Pairing: Death Island! Leon × Gn! Reader
Tags: Tooth rotting fluff, leon calling reader sweet nicknames, leon being a caring boyfriend. (A bit of negative self-talk from the reader's side), Also there's a few Nsfw jokes and a bit of suggestive content so…Not that much so don't worry.
A/N: If you couldn't tell, I wrote this while I was sick and college exams being like a week away 🥲. Also I am single and valentine's just around the corner and yes, I am sick🥲🥲🥲. Personally, not a fan of this combination (It sucks here😭). Anyways, it gave me the perfect opportunity to be delulu about Leon.
So that's what this is - me being delulu, but I hope you all enjoy this fic and have a good day. Thank you to @nexysworld and @luniaxi for beta read🥰
(Also I know it's not Valentine's Day today. Like I said I was terribly busy🥲)
WC: 4.5K
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It's Valentine's Day. The day of love. The day of sweet chocolates, beautiful bouquets and heartfelt love confessions.
It was a special day for couples, young or old. A reminder that pure love never grows old or wither away, in fact it only grows deeper as time passes by. The day was a reminder to cherish it as long as you can.
Which is what you would have been doing with your boyfriend today, if you weren't sick. Yes, you are sick, why? Because you have bad luck. A really terrible one.
Out of all 365 days in the year you had to be sick today. The most important day and say goodbye to all the romantic plans you made. The candlelight dinner, the cute dinner outfit you bought. But, no now you have to kiss it all goodbye and just grumble about what could have been.
To say that you were disappointed and angry was an understatement.
You blamed the seasonal changes for the condition you were in. You are in bed, not even having an ounce of energy to sit up properly, a bad throat, headache, body pain, cough and fever.
The only good thing was that your high fever had almost subsided only because of your sweet, caring, most down to earth person, your boyfriend made it his mission to take care of you during these tough times.
The moment he knew you were sick, he dropped everything he was doing and immediately wrapped a blanket around you after he had you settled in bed. Making you hot tomato soup, your favorite ramen, chamomile tea, anything that would help you feel better.
You were in your bed, trying to take a good rest but the body pain you had was making it really difficult. It was noon right now but what could you possibly do besides resting anyways?
“It will get better, just rest. I'm here.” He said as you complained about the condition you were in. He tried to soothe you with the sweetest smile he could muster, his warm blue eyes reassuring you that it will in fact get better even if you didn't believe it.
You clutched your head when you felt the pain coursing its way in your head, giving you a migraine. “I can't sleep Leon…it's so difficult.”
Leon could see the tears of frustration slipping from your eyes as the overall pain troubled you from getting you even a moment of relaxation.
And it broke his heart to see you in so much pain. Knowing he couldn't take the pain away entirely. Even if he was cooking you hot meals and soup it was still going to take some time to heal.
If it was up to him he would move mountains just for you to feel better even for a second. He wished he could just snap his fingers and take all the pain you had and give it to himself. Obviously, he wouldn't say it out loud cause he knew it would get you upset but he really wished he could do all that.
He was willing to suffer, if it meant you would never have to.
Your tired body slowly felt the warm calloused hands, slowly bringing you in his arms and hugging you tightly but keeping his hold gentle, so as not to cause you any discomfort as he cuddles with you. And pulled the blanket over you both to keep you warmer.
You looked up at him with a tired face as he gently rubbed your back with his hand. Slowly massaging your back with his strong fingers, trying to get rid of those sore spots. You felt his soft lips on your forehead giving you a loving kiss, which already had you melting in his big arms.
“Feeling better?” He asked in the softest voice possible and brought his other hand to your temple. Rubbing the sore spot with his thumb gently, which had you crying in pain earlier.
Your eyes slowly closed and a soft relaxed sigh escaped your lips as you gave a small nod. His gentle touch, the sweet voice, the soft kisses surely gave you a moment to relax.
Leon peppered soft, gentle kisses across your whole face while still massaging your back and temple. Soon he moved his hands to your waist to pull you more close so you were pressed up against his chest.
You looked up at him, opening your eyes for a moment, looking at him and wondering how could he even tolerate to even stay this close to you, while you had a running nose & weakness all over.
You didn't feel pretty or cute right now, you felt sick and horrible. Hell, even you wouldn't stay this close to yourself. But here he was… smiling down at you, massaging your sore spots, cuddling with you, trying his absolute best to help you regain your health.
“Have something to say, Darling?” He asked when he noticed you staring at him, lost in thought.
You sniffled a bit and replied. “You know… you will get sick if you stay so close to me.”
You heard a warm chuckle, feeling him hug you tighter. “Worrying about me even when you are sick? You are too sweet for your own good, y'know.”
You rolled your eyes and hit him lightly on his arm. “I'm not kidding.”
Leon chuckled once more seeing the glimpse of the playful attitude you always had. It made him feel better that you were feeling better enough to talk.
He smiled and shook his head lightly. “I will be fine. Relax.”
You huff and say. “You say that now, but if we both got sick at the same time there will be no one to take care of us. Like how will I take care of you? When I'm not even able to get out of bed?”
It wasn't like you weren't grateful for his actions. Of course you were, but if he got sick because of you, the guilt would definitely hit you in the chest about it. Also being sick definitely made you cranky.
Leon raises an eyebrow at your words and tries to hold in a chuckle seeing you argue with him on this, trying his best to be serious. He then smiled and cleared his throat and slowly replied. “Well… first off I'm not gonna get sick. Second… even if I actually got sick, I'm pretty confident I could still take care of you.”
You looked up at him again, a bit touched with his words. “Are you sure?”
Leon playfully rolled his eyes. “Honey, I got infected with viruses you couldn't imagine. This is nothing. So yes, I'm sure.”
Well… he had a point. But you still had something in your mind that you were itching to ask.
You sighed, snuggling up closer than possible. Trying to relax your mind with his scent. Trying to remind yourself that he was really here and not to some far off mission.
You bit your lips nervously. “Are you mad at me for ruining this valentine day?”
Leon’s expression softened further as he realized that you feel guilty. It wasn't your fault, you couldn't control it. Plus, this didn't ruin anything. Yes it was a bit stressful but that was okay, your health was more important than valentine day. If anything this brought you both closer than ever.
“Baby… you can't ruin it just cause you got sick. I love you. Always. Why would I get mad at such a thing? If anything I am glad I got to spend this time taking care of you.”
He pressed a kiss on your cheek and continued. “You can't ruin anything. Ever.” You sighed softly as he said that. A bit relieved that he at least doesn't think it was the worst valentine day ever.
You closed your eyes, feeling the body pain ease a bit. The medications and the cuddling was really taking a number on you. Almost ready to fall asleep.
Leon noticed how you became less chatty, slowly falling in and out of sleep. He slowly sat up in bed, careful not to disturb your sleeping form. And took hold of your legs and slowly started to massage the sore points present in the legs. Fingers applying firm pressure to relieve any pain that you were still having.
A sleepy sigh escaped your lips when you slowly felt the pain go away, transferring you into a state of deep relaxation…
Leon smiled to himself when he saw you sleep, free from any migraines or body pain that you may be having. He continues his massages till he is sure you won't wake up. He then puts a warm blanket over you, and softly whispers. “Get well soon baby, I have a surprise for you tonight…”
Leon gently kissed your forehead and moved away. Now he had to prepare for the surprise…
(Few hours later…)
You woke up after 3-4 hours. Your eyes slowly opened as it adjusted to the surroundings, you turned your head to look at the clock on the nightstand.
5:30pm
You sighed and looked up at the ceiling. You were definitely feeling a lot better now. The body pain was still there but it wasn't that bad. You were still feeling weak but didn't feel like you still had a fever.
A few minutes later you heard some shuffling outside the room. You lifted your head to see what was going on and saw Leon entering the room. He smiled when he saw you were awake.
And came by your side and kissed your cheeks lovingly and mumbled. “Good evening baby… Feeling better?”
You thought about it then gave a small nod with a sigh. “Mmhmm…”
Leon smiled and planted a few soft loving kiss across your face. “Good… Because I have a surprise for you.”
Your ears perked up as soon as you heard that magical word. Surprise. You looked up at him and said, “A surprise…? What is it about?”
He smiled seeing the small spark in your eyes at the mention and gave a wink. “A valentine dinner for us at home, prepared by yours truly.”
Your eyes widened and raised yourself slightly on your elbows to look at him properly. “Wait- As in… A dinner date for today at our home.”
His smile widened further as he took both of your hands and gave it a light squeeze and nodded. A blush rising in his cheeks. If you didn't know any better he was getting a bit shy and a tad nervous too. Such a cutie pie.
“Well… I thought since you were so upset about the whole situation and I know you had plans and everything… So… I decided to bring those plans to you.” You could swear his whole face turned into a cute puppy as he told you about his plan.
Your heart melted, no you felt like your whole body melted and formed a puddle in bed. The thought of him doing so much just to see you happy and cared was enough to give you a whole swarm of butterflies in your stomach.
You were glad Leon came into your life, glad that he chose to be with you. You didn't know what you did to deserve to have this amazing man all to yourself. His icy blue eyes, his sweet demeanor, the way he made you feel… It was amazing.
You didn't know what love was until you met him. Yeah, you thought what love was before him but being with him was just… magical. He remembered almost everything about you. Yeah, yeah the bar was in hell and whatever bullshit.
But if a man like him, who literally fought bioterrorism for a living. Who probably had the most stressful job on this planet did such thoughtful gestures, who almost turned into a puppy when he saw you, looked at you with such warm and sweet eyes… It was hard not to fall in love with him.
You gathered a bit of strength and immediately hugged him tightly, burying your face in his neck and dropping a kiss there. “Thank you… I love you.”
Leon chuckled as he hugged you back. “Love you too. And it's the least I could do.” he saw how your eyes almost started twinkling and how your face brightened up to a few notches. And that's how he knew the job was well done.
Leon dropped a light kiss on your lips and softly said. “Want to get ready for it?”
You gave a nod and he smiled. “Good…Want my help with any of it?”
You were still feeling a bit weak from the illness but it was a lot better. But you weren't stupid enough to say no to his request. So you agreed.
Leon being the gentleman he was, helped you get out of the bed and basically carried you to the bathroom to help you shower. Why would he let you walk when he could just pick you up like a cat and go wherever he wanted?
As you both entered the bathroom he helped you get out of your clothes, prepared some hot water bath, lit some of the scented candles that you preferred to have while taking a bath.
You relaxed in the bathtub while he started to wash your hair. Gentle fingers massaging your scalp, threading through your hair replacing the leftover pain with a feeling of pure bliss. You had a smile on your face as he continued and looked over at him.
“Thank you…”
He met your eyes and smiled. “For what?”
“For… everything. You are the best boyfriend I ever had.”
Leon's smile brightened, feeling a surge of pride in his chest, he then kissed your forehead. “At least I'm best at something.”
You chuckled as he poked your cheek playfully and went back to washing your hair. He then tilted your head a bit and slowly poured down water on your hair to get rid of the shampoo. He then helped you shower through the rest of the body.
When you were done, he helped you get out of the bathtub and wrapped a towel around you. You looked up to see him, to see his face getting scrunched up lightly as he focused on wrapping it tightly around you. You loved it when he would do that, he looked so cute when his nose would just scrunch up lightly as he focused on whatever he was doing. It was simply adorable.
“I feel like a kid getting help in dressing up after parents made me bathe.” You made note as he searched for your clothes through your closet.
Leon had a hearty laugh at the comment and gave you a playful shrug. “Get sick like a child, get treated like a child.”
He turned towards you, taking out the outfit that you previously bought for the ‘dinner date’ you both were supposed to have before you got sick. And helped you wear it.
You smirked at him. “Oh really? Should I start calling you daddy then?”
Leon paused for a moment, his eyes immediately flicking back to you. That nickname always did something for him. And you knew that very well…you couldn't help but just poke him a bit.
A blush rose in his cheeks as cleared his throat and said. “Uh huh… Why don't we just focus on the task at hand. Which is getting you dressed.”
You couldn't help but giggle as he avoided the topic. “Oh you don't like that? I could swear that you did.”
He gave you a stern look and narrowed his eyes a bit. “Babe… don't.”
You chuckled and decided to play dumb. “What? I was just asking.”
Leon cleared his throat again, his blush deepening and slowly said. “I am glad you are feeling good enough to tease me like that. Having fun?”
“Very”
“I could tell.”
You chuckled, deciding to cut him some slack. It's not like you wouldn't like to test his patience a bit more… Maybe after dinner you might.
Leon finished helping you dress up then he also helped you with your make-up, helping you tie your hair up in a bun when you finished giving touch ups to your face.
“Like a doll. You look amazing.” Giving your ass a light smack.
You squealed in surprise which made Leon grin wider and hug you tightly in his arms. And peppered kisses all over your face. “Feeling better?”
You nodded with a bright smile. “Yes, very much so.”
Leon grinned. “Ready for the big date then?”
You eagerly nodded and Leon took a blindfold from his pocket and held it in front of you. “Want you to wear this first.”
You gave a mischievous grin, opening your mouth to come up with a quip but Leon beat you to it. “It's for not ruining your surprise, dummy.” Rolling his eyes at your antics.
You scoffed playfully. “Hey, I didn't even say anything and stop calling me that. It's mean.” You gave a fake pout and Leon couldn't help but chuckle.
It was moments like these that made him feel like that life was worth living. The small domestic moments that he never thought he would get to experience. That perhaps it was worth fighting all those man-made monstrosities and risking his life, if this is what he came home to. His safe haven.
You were worth protecting and taken care of. You deserved every bit of love he had in himself and even his life if you wanted.
Leon turned you around as he tied the blindfold around your eyes. When he finished, he gave another light smack on your ass which made you chuckle. “Well this refreshes some memories.”
Leon kissed your neck and playfully whispered. “Want me to refresh them even more after the dinner?”
You blushed and even if you couldn't see his face because of the blindfold. You bet he was smirking down at you. “Well… Maybe?”
Leon chuckled, taking your face in his hands and kissed your forehead. “Well… I guess you have one more surprise after dinner then.”
You blushed even more and looked away. He grinned seeing you at a loss for words and smiled. Knowing he won that. He then took your hand and said. “Now dinner. Careful not to stumble down on anything.”
He then guided you out of the bedroom, helping you walk down the hallway to your surprise in the living room. He then stopped and slowly removed your blindfold.
Your eyes fluttered open and saw the scene in front of you. Your eyes widened and your hands flew to your mouth to contain the excitement filling your body.
The living room seemed like it was heaven of some sort. Filled with her favorite flowers, rose petals on the floor guiding the way towards the table, present in the middle of the room. The table was decorated with a beautiful centerpiece, filled with roses. The whole room was decorated with red balloons and candles.
If you didn't know any better, you would have thought you were gonna get proposed or something.
Wait-
You immediately turned around and gasped as you saw him down on one knee. An engagement ring in his hands looking up to you like you were his whole world. You were his whole world.
And it seemed like the whole world stopped for a moment, just for the two of you to have this.
You had like dozens of questions running through your head. Like how the hell did he plan all this? Did he take some help? Of course he did. But how did he do all this, the planning and decoration? And was this really even happening? Or your imagination? Was he really proposing to you? Like right now???
Leon noticed that you were well… speechless. So he took one of your hands and gave a gentle squeeze. That seemed to get you out enough of your confusion and shock. Your voice came out in a little whisper. “Leon… I…”
You didn't realize at first but you had started tearing up. Wiping your tears, you looked down at him and he was almost there, on the verge of tears but holding it in for your sake. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze and cleared his throat. “Did you like it…?”
You had a small chuckle & managed a nod while you were tearing up. Oh, it wasn't even a question that you liked it. You loved it.
Leon looked down at the ring in his fingers once more. He had a whole speech prepared on how he always thought you were the one. (Which Claire and Sherry helped him prepare;)). Now he swore he forgot all of it when the actual moment came.
Leon cleared his throat and looked up at you. You looked stunning, even with tears running down your cheeks you looked the most beautiful person ever stepped on this earth. He took a deep breath and started. “Well… to start… this is not how I planned things would go…”
Leon saw you getting confused a bit then explained. “I was originally gonna do it in the restaurant we were gonna go to… but then you fell sick and I had to bring some improvisation to my plan.”
Leon saw your little smile peeking and his confidence rose up a bit. “Umm… I had been thinking about this for a while. Like a year... And you were also dropping hints all over so yeah, I wasn't dumb enough to not understand them…”
You had a small chuckle and shook your head lightly. It was true, you tried to tease him with some videos of couples getting proposed to all he used to reply with was a small “hmm… nice.” And avoid the topic. And now that he was here he seemed so…vulnerable.
He continued. “I know you felt like you ruined this Valentine's Day. But you could never do that. You could never ruin anything. I know I said that earlier but I want you to understand that fully. Everything about you is… Perfect. Magical. There aren't enough adjectives to describe what it's like when I am here with you. You make me feel… safe and loved.”
You felt yourself tear up more when he said that. You could have never thought he felt like that with you. But you knew he was saying the truth the way he was looking at you.
He interlaced his fingers with yours when he gave a gentle squeeze again this time. “The past few days when you were sick, I loved taking care of you. To show you the love you've given me. The love you show me when you take care of me after missions, patching me up, preparing me delicious food even when you are busy with your office work. It's just… I can't believe that I deserve all that. And yes it's not the first time I took care of you but moments like these… helps me to show you and return that love your way.”
He takes another deep breath to calm himself, not yet realizing that he was tearing up at this point. “So, with all the hope I have right now, thinking I haven't exactly messed up all my speech… Will you marry me?”
You didn't know how you were even exactly standing right now after his speech. You were speechless. You had so much to say… but you couldn't even come up with one word. You gulped and took a deep breath and slowly replied.
“Yes Leon, of course I will marry you…”
Leon sighed in relief and let the tears flow from his eyes freely, holding nothing back and slipped the ring on your fingers. And stood up properly this time. He immediately brought you in his arms, cupped your face and kissed you. Pouring all the love he had for you, the love that couldn't be expressed by mere words only by actions.
You immediately wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him back with all the passion you had for him in the moment. His body pressed up against yours. Feeling his warmth and excitement pour into you.
You both slowly pulled back, foreheads still touching and in each other's arms, having a big dumb smile on both of your faces. “Leon… I… don't know what to say… you… did all this?”
Leon gave a light chuckle and shrugged. “I had help.” And kissed your forehead.
You sighed softly and looked down at your ring. “So now I'm your fiancée hmm?”
Leon nodded and hugged you more tightly. “Yeah. Deal with it. You are not escaping that.” His tone got a bit playful as this continued.
You giggled and playfully said. “Actually, kind of looking forward to be Mrs. Kennedy.”
Leon grinned and cupped your face once again. Having the softest eyes he had for you at the moment. “Oh yeah? Me too. The name suits you.”
He then kissed you softly on the lips again, rubbing your back and just holding you in his arms like you would drift away right now.
You both stayed like that for a moment and he asked. “Feeling hungry yet?”
You chuckled and nodded. “Yeah a little bit. What do you have for me?”
Leon grinned and pulled away, taking your hand in his and walking towards the table in the center. “Come with me, I will show you.”
And so you did. Your heart is still beating with excitement that you will soon get married and be his partner for life. And you couldn't wait for the day to come.
Maybe this Valentine's Day wasn't that bad after all.
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Phew. So that's done. Ngl I started this a few days before Valentine's Day. I was definitely gonna post it then but exams took priority 🥲. I also think I went too delulu over him lmao. But anyways, I really do hope you all enjoy this like I am sorry if this wasn't that good. Half of the time my brain wasn't working.
And I hope you enjoyed Valentine's Day with your loved ones. Have a good day🥰
-Bella
235 notes · View notes
starswguru · 6 months
Text
❝ message in a bottle ; 마크이
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𖥻 pairing: college!mark lee x female reader
𖥻 contains: college!au, fluff, slight angst, second chance romance
𖥻 warnings: swearing, marijuana & alcohol consumption / english is not my first language and this is my first work ever on tumblr so i am sorry if there are any grammar mistakes or misspellings
word count — 4.06k
synopsis — you and mark were in a situationship for a few months before things ended poorly when you got too scared of your feelings and he had to leave the country for an exchange program in london. now, six months later, you were at a party with your friends and discovered mark was back in town.
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AND just like that, your whole world stopped spinning for a long and torturous minute. in the blink of an eye, you went from being over-the-moon excited — and slightly intoxicated — with the idea of partying with your friends during the first summer night before heading to your hometown in the next couple of days to being paralyzed, feeling all your blood get drained far away from where it should be in your body. in the blink of an eye, you went from being a happy girl with the arrival of the last member of your friend group to someone terrified with the sight of a ghost from the past. a quick glance, unintended by all means, in mark’s direction was all it took for the memories from that previous year to come flooding back to hit you like a lost train.
“hey, princess,” he said. his cheeks burning in a shade of shameful red, but something stronger than him was preventing his stare from going anywhere else other than your eyes. there was a blunt hanging between his teeth. “how you doing?”
“that’s it, guys; i’m done with this. i’m just gonna change my major or something like that! everything’s going terribly wrong, and i can’t keep torturing myself by studying this shit.”
you dropped your head and rested your forehead on your arm that lay on top of the desk in front of you right as the confession slipped from your lips like a dangerous poison that you should not have taken. it was the first time you’d ever said it out loud to someone else to hear — other than the mischievous voice inside your head — how you truly felt about the english major you were pursuing. the fear of judgment and of being too hasty about this decision was corroding every last bit of your emotional health, and because of it, you could sense that a storm was coming. what if you did change majors and ended up not adapting? how would you find a job, or better yet: how would you support living all by yourself if you couldn’t even pick an undergraduate academic path? time was running out, and the unbearable clock inside your mind wouldn’t give you a break. the tick-tacking of the goddamn thing was going to drive you to insanity at any point soon.
“hey, chill for once, okay? it’s normal to feel like that and to want something new. hell, i know i had to change my major twice before finding out what i actually wanted to do. jae did the same thing. you’re not alone.” jeno offered you a small yet reassuring smile or someone who didn’t quite know what to say but still wanted to see his friend more relaxed.
“exactly! take a deep breath and think things through with an easy heart. if you need help, we’re here to help you." swallowing the last bite of the sandwich he had bought earlier, renjun tapped the notebook in front of him. “how’s that linguistics project going?”
as you raised your head, you shook your head in a negative sign. “i mean, it’s good. too good, actually… and that’s sort of the problem. like, the dude i’m working with is super sweet and really fucking good at this class and so he’s kind of doing the whole thing by himself and dragging me along with it ever since we started. i feel terrible, even if he says it’s all good and stuff, but it is what it is, i guess.”
before either of the guys could express any opinion about what was just said, a guy with freshly cut black hair — it was even possible to see the drawing of a spiderweb on the left side of his undercut —, earphones in and a large yankees shirt approached the desk, more specifically you, and offered a genuine smile that wasn’t common to see between two colleagues who were only working on a school project together at you. the unknown man squatted so he could be at your height and unlocked his ipad’s screen to the word document the two of you were using to write notes together, or at least that was the initial idea because the reality was that mark was doing all of it alone, proudly.
“oh, hi, y/n, you good? just wanted to ask you a quick question… have you taken a look at this topic right here? i know we’re only supposed to work on it in two weeks but i was wondering if maybe you’ve come up with the same conclusion as me.”
feeling a thousand times more embarrassed than if a professor asked you to present a thirty-minute seminar alone in front of the whole class, you felt the tip of your fingers getting cold and a thin droplet of sweat rolling down your temple. “uhm, hey, mark. yeah, about that… look, i didn’t really have a chance to look at that yet, i’m sorry. i can barely manage this week’s assignments, let alone two weeks from now. i- i’ll text you when i read it, okay?”
you didn’t know it at the time — or if you did, you had an enviable ability of discretion — but every single time mark heard his name escape from your heavenly drawn lips, his heart would skip a beat or two and he felt like he was about to combust at any second. it was the first time in his whole life that he had ever felt that way about someone and dealing with feelings of that magnitude was both weird and extraordinary, which meant that the ravenette wasn’t completely aware of how to process them. mark’s solution for his overwhelming thoughts whenever you were around was to take charge of everything he could in that project, to make you feel relaxed about that one particular class. the canadian was terrible at linguistics, for his skills were much more reliable during literature classes: he could interpret and internalize poetry from the eighteenth century like it was nothing, and plays written in latin during the roman empire were of natural understanding for him; and yet, ever since the first day of that semester in which it was requested that both of you joined efforts to build the complicated assignment, it was impossible for mark to not pull all-nighters reading texts and more texts, watching one video class after another that broke down the subject of that class just so he could give his absolute best when the time came to work alongside you and you didn’t find him an idiot, as most people in that university usually did after meeting him for the first time.
mark just wanted to impress you and the last thing he could be worried about was doing all that alone, as long as it meant that he could still have the minimum interaction with you.
“yeah, sure, that’s cool. if you need anything let me know, alright?”
you were still in a state of complete shock. no words would come out of your mouth, making it impossible to answer properly the question directed at you by the boy that a year before was the reason for many sleepless nights and therapy sessions, through no fault of his, which was even worse, because mark was perfect and you hated yourself for how everything ended.
a cold breeze, too cold for a summer night, hit the both of you with enough strength to make you shiver and it was only then that you realized that none of your friends were around anymore. you were alone again with mark for what had felt like a lifetime since he left the country for an exchange program in london and with enough unspoken words to make the whole situation a million times more uncomfortable than it needed to be. what were you supposed to say right now? “oh, hi, mark, long time no see! listen, i’m really sorry for being horrible to you last year, i’ve spent the last six months torturing myself because i only woke up to the fact that i had let the perfect guy for me get away too late to try and fix everything”? you ran your fingers through your hair, knowing that there were no words of your knowledge that could make it easier, that could put together again the pieces of what had once been something magical that the two of them were building.
you couldn’t care less about all those times your therapist tried to be kinder to your heart than you had ever been, or how your friends always tried to distract your mind from the constant haunt of self-collection and, to be honest, didn’t really mind that yes, after all the effort and studying, you had managed to change your major to something you actually enjoyed if the price for it was to drop the perfect crystal piece that was mark’s precious heart. there were no words that could take that back, and going against every piece of advice that was given to you, you had imagined more times than you’d like to admit how this encounter would play out: what you would do, what you would say or not say, how it’d feel… but none of those scenarios inside your mind was anywhere near to the real sensation of being in front of him again.
mark looked taller — or maybe it was just the feeling of missing him crushing your soul and clouding your judgment —, the slim body now gave way to the body of a man who went to the gym and tried to truly take care of his health, his hair that previously used to be as dark as the t-shirts he used to enjoy wearing was now covered in a shade of red so bright that it reminded you of his favorite superhero’s suit. even still, the one thing that caught your attention the most were his eyes. before mark left, before the whole chaos, they were always big and full of life, like those of a curious cub and you could always feel a cozy warmth travel across your body when mark looked at you with such brightness; however, it seemed that ever since the canadian got back in town, they were opaque, closed off to the outer world as if his eyes were now carrying some kind of intense melancholy behind them. the familiar redness in his sclerae, months ago, used to always be accompanied by an excited and smiling version of mark lee, but that night the only thing apparent to you was that lee was holding on to weed like some kind of way to numb the break-up pain.
the redhead had lived a thousand different lives during his exchange: saw and learned things that he knew he would never have achieved if he hadn't accepted the opportunity to go to england and yet, his mind couldn’t recall any of those experiences with the genuine happiness he should’ve felt like any other normal and grateful person would if they were on his shoes; to mark, ever since you left him all alone, he had turned into nothing but an empty shell of what should’ve been the real mark lee. what were his experiences, his learnings, his funny stories if, at any moment, he was allowed to at least call the person he loved and share all of that with her?
“yeah, i guess i’m okay.” you answered, holding back a cry that was stuck in your throat before looking away. “you?”
a shiver went down the english student as he waited for his project partner to arrive at the coffee shop you two had agreed to meet at to finish for good the agonizing linguistics document. it didn’t even seem real that you were finally concluding the most stressful and endless project of your university career until that moment and despite the sweet taste of reaching the finish line, mark had on his lips a bitter one, because he knew that the very instant you pressed “send” on the body of that e-mail to your professor, all of his excuses to talk to you would come to an end. it was only the beginning of november, you should spend at least a few more weeks studying together if said professor were to follow a normal academic calendar like the rest of his fellow colleagues of the department.
mark would only have one last chance of making this work out and that chance was right there and then. anxiety and fear were destroying the boy with more strength than he himself was biting through his nails waiting for you to arrive.
“gosh, mark, i’m so sorry!” you said in a panting tone when you finally managed to get to the coffee shop and met the guy that, by that point, had already become your friend. “the bus took forever to get to the stop i needed and then the subway was also chaotic… anyways, i’m sorry that i’m late.”
the both of you stayed a long time in that coffee shop, not only finishing the assignment but also laughing together and watching a few episodes of modern family on his computer as a way to relax after all the constant flow of negative emotions the both of you were facing during that semester due to not only that particular class but also all the other ones with their enormous reading load. by the time you had indeed finished what you were supposed to do, you were feeling so comfortable in mark’s presence that you didn’t even notice when you heart started to race faster and faster before the mundane things the lee did: the way he smiled from ear to ear, or how kind he was to everyone around him. you were starting to fall in love with how mark explained all the different concepts he used to build his arguments across the paper like someone would explain the most basic things to a child, and you thought it was sweet the way he would say “dude” and “no way” every couple of sentences that fell from his lips. but, above all, unconsciously, the way mark seemed to glow every time he looked at you was ethereal to your eyes.
as soon as you sent the hated file, it started to rain on the outside of the coffee shop, but contrary to the ideal scenario, you couldn’t stay in there just waiting until the climate conditions became more favorable because the two of you had places to be at, on opposite directions. there would be no other alternative but to run to the nearest subway station, or in the brunette’s case, the bus stop.
mark immediately took off his hoodie to shield you as best as he could from the rain, in exchange for you protecting his backpack that contained his computer as if your life depended on it, the moment you two stepped outside the establishment and something of a thunderstorm was taking over the avenue. mark couldn’t help it and ended up laughing at the situation you two had found yourselves in, thinking about how he wished he was a little less broke and had a car to take the girl of his dreams back to her place without having to worry about the rain, or how he wished he was stronger to pick you up and carry you to the subway station and, with that, spare your shoes from coming in contact with the soaked surface of the sidewalk. before you could notice, you were right in front of the stairs that led to the station.
“bye, i think.” you said, giggling along with him while you tried to fix your hair that, despite mark’s hoodie’s protection, still got wet from the rain.
the lee was going to answer you like a decent and proper person, he really was, but in that very moment, a raindrop fell from the marquee above you and somehow managed to hit you right on the forehead, which made you close your eyes, but mark kept his wide open. with an automatic reaction of his body, almost like an involuntary movement that he was incapable of controlling — such as the beats of his accelerated heart — his left hand traveled to your neck while his right thumb was busy drying the solitary raindrop slowly, to give his mind time to analyze every little inch of your face so close to his. mark tried to respond with words to your farewell, but his impulse to kiss you was far stronger than any cohesive phrase that his brain could formulate in that moment.
the literature student, now in his final semester, nodded as he bit his lower lip and those opaque eyes fell to the floor beneath his feet after stepping on the remaining of his blunt. mark didn’t even know why he started that conversation in the first place, it was obvious that it was impossible for him to stand close to you without it affecting some part of him — whether for good or for bad — and even still, there he was, not managing to say a single word to you, nor being able to get closer, just feeding that giant gray and terrifying cloud that grew over both of your heads due to the impasse of what this was and what it should have been.
unlike his mind, that was only able to repeat tirelessly the day he finally built the confidence to kiss you, yours was in a hurricane of terrible memories that involved the brief, yet intense, relationship you two shared — or whatever the hell one could call it. how was it even possible that something that lasted only four months could leave such deep scars?
if mark was trying to hold back a smile remembering how it felt to have your lips on top of his, you were only torturing yourself with the replayed image of mark being crushed in front of you, by no fault other than your own. it was your fault that fear was allowed to consume every single good thing that the lee had ever given you; it was your fault that you’d thought that whole thing was a sick and sadistic joke from the universe and that, in reality, there was no way someone like him could've ever fallen in love with you. in the deepest, darkest, cruelest part of your soul, you were convinced that everything was your fault and not your mind trying to destroy you before something so pure and happy.
you were a sinking ship, navigating towards a port with not a single sight of a lighthouse’s spark to help you, not knowing how to reach the treasure that awaited your arrival because other people had already destroyed the lighthouse. the ability to grope around, trying to find yourself in the darkness you’d placed yourself, was stripped away from you the second you gave in to the bruises that were caused by third parties, and mark knew it wasn't your fault, although it was still difficult to try and be the guide to someone that wouldn't allow them to have access to the heat and light from the fire he tried to offer.
without even realizing it, the silenced cry stuck in your throat for months on end started to escape, not giving you any power to control it. you felt anger, sadness, frustration and you were missing mark… all at the very same time, in an endless swirl triggered by the mere vision of having mark back into your reality.
just like the first time you kissed, the unconscious answer of mark lee’s body to the sound of you crying after such a long time being away from you was to wrap his arms around your body without allowing himself to give too much thought to the action that just took place. if it was even possible, noticing you needing him in any way, shape or form was a true calling for him and it didn't matter how much time could've gone by, the lee couldn't ignore it. to love you and protect you was just as natural as breathing.
between the supplications for your tears to stop and hair strokes, mark then began to feel something that he thought was dead coming back to life inside the hollow box that was his chest. for months now, the redhead just knew that his heart was no longer there. instead, it must've been put inside a bottle and thrown away into the ocean that separated his emotions from his rational mind, as if he wasn't even the owner of his own feelings.
“please, princess, don't cry. i’m begging you.”
the cruelty of your mind wouldn't give you a break for not even a single second ever since the last time you've heart mark’s melodious voice so close to your ear, and the fact that it carried the same heavy tone of request didn't help with your genuine desire to stop your sobbings as your face was pressed against his chest. in that moment, the last thing on your mind were the looks that other people could be directing at the two of you; you could only see the desperation all over the face of the only man you've ever truly loved. he was in such pain that day — the day you told him you didn't want to see him anymore. soon, though, that image was replaced with the memory of the gut-wrenching feeling of chronic emptiness that filled your chest the following week and you came to your senses that you had make a mistake, but that it was also too late: mark was in another country, it was far too late to ask for forgiveness.
“i know you probably hate me right now. i shouldn't have done that, i shouldn't have said that, i was such an idiot, stupid… i'm sorry, mark, i don't know what was going on in my mind to treat like that, i-”
that sobbing wouldn't allow you to form coherent sentences properly and the way you were crying so helplessly was becoming melancholic instead of just sad to the man holding you. if only mark could get into your merciless head just how he would never be able to hate you, not in a million years, not when there was so much love, desire and adoration intrinsic to the image he had of you, then maybe that big gray cloud would disappear forever and the two of you could just live like he hoped for. all mark wanted was to have the privilege of loving you again.
“y/n, look at me” mark held the red and tear wet face of his beloved girl with kindness while his tone of voice was filled with all the firmness the moment could ask for. “for christ’s sake, y/n, i love you. i could never hate you. dude, really, for once just keep your head out of this and focus on what i’m telling you right now. i love you and this whole time i was thinking of you. only you.”
even if he knew you wouldn't answer anything for a few seconds, or maybe even minutes, mark just allowed a sweet smile to appear on his lips while he delighted himself with the feeling of being allowed to hold your face once again, to stroke your cheeks and to place small, delicate kisses all over your beautiful face — which he knew would force your breathing to slow down, giving you the chance to calm down again. the canadian was smelling like the combination of weed and beer, but somehow, your body knew how to identify the familiar and characteristic smell of his cologne; the same smell your searched for and ached for during the coldest nights, when missing him was too overwhelming it almost felt like a hole was being digged up in your chest. that familiarity was the reason for the shy smile that took over your lips, that opened a breach for light and happiness after all those tears while mark traced your lips with his thumb, admiring you like you were some kind of artwork created just for him.
“i was made to stay just like this with you, princess. and i’m not leaving this time.”
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lesbianslvt666 · 1 year
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hiii i saw that your requests are open🤞🏼 ok one thing i can’t get out of my head is reverse cowgirl with ellie ,, like we all know she’s an ass girl so i think she’d love it
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Cw: smut with a bit of plot, birthday girl Ellie, StrapOn!(both kinda?) cum! and spanking and something more but i am too sleepy to remember
The night before Ellie’s birthday you were still struggling to find something to gift her, i mean is not like she has everything or that she was too picky with gifts, but you wanted to make it special.
it was her twenty first birthday and your friends couldn’t come over for a party (her birthday was on a Monday), you wanted to make her day happy still. Until Friday which was when the surprise party was gonna take place, so you needed something to keep her entertained until then.
You looked up from your phone, calling Dina for any advice, but as you were walking back to your place from work you stumbled over a sex shop.
“Hello?” Dina was calling for your name over the phone.
“I was gonna ask you something but i think i found the answer, talk to you later Dins” you hanged up the phone, didn’t let her even say her goodbyes and.
Your eyes scanned the place, small but fun.
Colored LEDs separating different sections.
The gay section had pink lights, the kinky section was lit with red lights and the lesbian with purple ones.
Aha!
Long strap on, two sided and it vibrates.
The pretty pink color paired with holographic glitter.
She was gonna love it.
The next day was hectic to say the least.
You called Ellie as soon as you woke up from your class, hurriedly getting ready and telling her how much loved her and to please save the day for you.
She did.
After the most excruciating hours of your entire college experience.
You finally arrived to Ellie’s.
She opened the door as soon as you nocked.
You didn’t waste no time, as soon as she was in front of you you started to kiss her, hands roaming up her waist to her back to her breast. The pretty gift bag hanging from your fore arm.
She closed the door after you, not once braking the kiss, passion tinting her every move.
Her hands naturally traveled all the way down to your ass, she spanked you once.
With all the force you could gather you separated from the kiss, action that made her groan in frustration.
“I have a gift for you babe!” You said, extending the bag to her, she took the bag and went back to kissing you.
You giggled at her eagerness.
“Please baby, just open it!” You said in between kisses.
“I’ll do it later, right now i want you” and before she went back to kissing you your hand moved to her neck, wrapping your hand around it but never pressing or squeezing.
“Do what i say baby, i know you’ll like it” your words followed by a kiss on the cheek, you walked to her room, removing one clothing item every other step until you both where in her room.
You completely naked, standing in front of her bed.
“You nymph” her words laced with amusement as she took the strap out of the bag, looking up at you.
No time was wasted, for as soon as she saw you all naked and ready she was already getting off her clothes, kissing you on the process.
She sat down on the bed, man spreading while her back rested upon the headboard.
The strap standing proud upwards ready for you, your eyes lit up in lust, crawling up to her, pretty tits bouncing with every move you made.
She couldn’t take your teasing any longer, manhandling you she took you up her torso, purposefully missing the strap, she kissed you while you where un top of her.
You body moving front to back to try and get sone friction, she was too good at this, she always felt this good…
But she stopped your moviments.
Handling you to now give her your back, strap ticking your pussy, she took the rest of the length and massage your clit with the tip.
Your wetness falling from your cunt down your neg and her mouth watered.
She inserted the strap on you, your pussy swallowing almost instantly, you were so needy, so ready to take it.
She gave you time to adjust, cock warming so deliciously, your juices falling to her own pussy, essences mixing with each other on her cunt.
“Can i baby?” Her words patient, lust making her body desperate.
“Yes fuck” you started to move yourself riding her so good with your bubbly ass bouncing on her crotch, the strap hitting inside tour tight warm walls and Ellie felt she was gonna go insane.
Her own part of the dildo inserting so good with every bounce, every move, the shape of it creating friction on her clit.
She spanked your ass every now and then but she was about to cum and she wanted for you to do so at the same time.
Her tatted hand circling, finding your clit and massaging roughly.
You went insane.
The pleasure so intense, both of you feeling like you’ll reach the pick at any second.
Ellie did first, franatically pushing the strap in to you (and herself) so hard she came loudly, filthy words mixed with moans and grunts and so you came after her.
Both rode your highs together. Before you toon off Ellie kissed your ass, pretty cheeks in display for her, so, might as well.
You giggled at her sweetness, falling down to her side cuddling her.
“Let me get you clean” she said trying to stand up.
“Nuh huh, stay here i wanna sleep” she laughed at your words, barely making sense.
She still stood up and cleaned both of you.
Laying down back with you she kissed your forehead.
“Happy birthday baby” your words almost indecipherable.
But she understood with her heart, you are her twin flame, her soulmate, her everything.
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deesseshesca · 3 months
Text
What truth must I accept to move on ?
What again ? No ! No ! No ! You swore it will be the last time…
Good night pretty souls, today we are checking on your situation. Why did it needed to happen ? How can you alchemise it ? 
Choose the image that’s speak to you and allow yourself to soak ONLY what’s reasoning with YOUR SITUATION 
Rules and Disclaimer 
I am the type of tarot reader to say as it is. Nothing is sugar coated but everything is sent with good intention. If you are not ready to face some truth, you should vagabond somewhere else. 
MINOR DON'T INTERACT WITH THIS POST 
MINOR DON’T READ THIS POST 
CHOOSE AN IMAGE 
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PILE 1 
Ace pentacles, ace wands (reverse), page swords (reverse), chariot, 999
Good night to my type A people, welcome to your reading. So lately you have concocted the most perfect budgeting plan to attend to your goals in the most efficient and successful way. I am also getting that you brought cute little things to ensure to motivate you throughout this saving journey. You know you're going to need to make some sacrifice on the way. Which can be frustrating in summer, especially when you see everyone around you spending a bag. I want to congratulate you for the healthy mindset you have regarding your money. Most of you are saving for your first car or first apartment. Someother to fund a change of career, thinking of starting nursing school or just to survive college. While others are trying to start a side hustle like becoming a lash tech or a nail tech. While harboring this tunnel vision mindset, I'm getting that people around you are not very supportive. Going as far as mocking you. But the truth you must accept: the journey towards your goal will never go smoothly. Pile 2, you are the type to plan for hours down to the very second. Anticipating everything that can go right or wrong. And when it does not go your way, you say ‘’fuck it. It ain’t even  worth it anyway. If it was really meant to be it will be easy’’ BULLSHIT ! You are the problem. You are to focus by the end of the journey, that you forget that you have to walk through the journey. Not just fly to it. Sometimes on your path something might stings or feet might hurt. The real issue is that you are missing stamina and only want to feel good. Good job, you have your priorities straight. But girl, you ain't just saving for some Mcdonal meal or a new lip gloss. You want a car, a house, a new career. Since the goal is bigger it requires more sacrifice. Letting go now, wil be like taking a big ‘’L’’.Head up, discipline over motivation. Building muscle is hard and it takes time just like a habit. Plus you have to stop thinking that life is happening to you. Babygirl, everyone got issues, you are not the only. Imma touch your heart when I said this, you are not the strongest soldier, so pick it up and keep it pushing. Because this victim mentality is making you act sour with people around you. I’m afraid to announce it to you, but you are the bad energy, you are the negative vibes rn. Hold on, before you click off this reading after this beautiful drag (you must admit…) is you have too much potential. And is pissing me off that you are allowing it to slip away from your hands. You are capable of standing strong on your boundaries and to create an amazing plan. That’s some qualities one will take a lifetime to master and you are born with it. Don’t become forceful, be the amazing leader you are meant to be. Don’t give up ! You will be rewarded in your finances/career. Finish what you started. The worst is that you know all that already. What’s funny is that you keep saying you don’t care, but your mind screams for it, your soul keeps reminding you that it wants it and your pinterest ain’t giving up on the vision yet.  Do do everyone a favor and go get it.  Do a deep life clean so you can make room for some new energy. Reflect on your life choices.
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Super shy -Newjeans
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PILE 2 
Death (reverse) , ace cups, magician (reverse), emperor
You were meant to read this. Now ! Right now is giving the biggest scam in history just like what’s happening in your life. I’m hearing the tiktok that goes ‘’ Ok now, where’s the camera now. I must be getting prank now’’. The reality…you don’t want to move on.  You yearn for a past that ain’t never coming back. You also don’t want to deal with anything that can trigger you. But you can’t claim you heal, if you have the same reaction when the universe sends you variation of the same problem. And isolating ain’t going to help your case. But the universe finally got the message. Lucky you, you are getting to send a friend. Someone that will bring the sun back into your life. That person will trigger you (in a good and necessary way ) and she will not allow you to sabotage the way of y’all friendship. I’m understanding : poor timing, don’t have resources, cocky, delulu, personality disorder, force = I think you are going to have a Karen moment in a shop close to your house. She is going to trigger a crisis in you. Instead of looking at you like you are crazy, like most people do. That person will play along. Y’all going to be 2 crazy bitches in the store. And instead of feeling cornered, you will weirdly feel valited because usually when you act out people call you crazy. You just found another crazy person. Everytime will go back into the store, she will always be there. You will try to avoid her , but nah she will jockly always go to you. That person will grow on you. I’m feeling the opposite aesthetic. I see her being a bimbo and loving it and you our little emo angel. Honestly, I fell in love with her energy while channeling her. I was trying so hard to stay serious but nah, I ended up having a dance break. How can u notlove her, she’s a sweetheart. Girl, you might THINK, that you ain’t doing enough. But your spirit guard, the universe, anyone that allows themself to see more than what you project and I can assure that you are on top of your game. Especially after everything you went through and put up with. Keep your focus and discipline. You got this babe ! I’m proud of you ! When you are ready, let go of the version of you that no longer serves you. You don’t need to pay the price of your mistakes. 
I’m hearing: ‘’ You deserve this friendship’’ 
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POP - NAYEON
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PILE 3 
Knight swords, ace pentacles (reversed), seven cups, High priestess, 1313 
Everything was fine until it wasn’t. When did it all go so wrong? It happened so unexpectedly. The only thing left standing is your BFF/sister. You never thought life would take u off overnight. I’m hearing you failed some important exams or your parents are very good but they badly gambled the finances and you have to pay the price for it. The truth is … it is always in front of your face. It’s been a while that you have been seeing and feeling that your studying routine is not working for you. But prefer to pretend that is everything else but what’s ahead of you. You always had a feeling that your parents were awful with money but did not dare to try to know how badly. Is not too late…yet. For a while now you pretend to be happy. Thinking that the more you fake it, you will finally feel it. Now you are down bad emotionally. You never thought you would ever be there. Babe is the the time to give in into distraction. Now you need to pull the rag under your feet and face your fears. You want to know what happiness is really about. You know it is time to do some deep healing. To question your self belief. From the silliest question to the most disturbing. ‘’Is my fav color really red ? What do I actually think about the government ? ‘’ You need some shadow work. Is not the time to act, is the time pounder. Also is your life. Babe nobody is behind you. If you want to take 1 year or 1 month at the crossroad nobody is coming for you. As long as you are confident about your choice. Is time to start fresh ! Step out of your comfort zone. You will learn a new skill that will get you some abundance and recognition. Be confident and trust in your decision. 
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What is love - TWICE
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soberpluto · 5 months
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Know Your Soul Purpose With Your Big 3
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It's been so much time since I've been here, but it's amazing to be back! Now, here's a topic I was wondering about today...
All our configurations hold divine meaning, in that before we are born, our souls chose the type of experiences we needed to undergo as part of our next visit on Earth. What makes us "us" is perfect in design. And what we're "made of" can be neatly seen in our birth charts. No birth nor birth chart happen by chance.
While it’s accurate that specific karmic work (which is part of our life's mission) is indicated by studying the positions of Saturn, its aspects, planets falling in water houses and the configuration of lunar nodes, I feel we can also find great part our soul's purpose (our main lessons) by analyzing our Big 3. This is equal to drawing a picture of the blueprint of our unique navigation system, our compasses through our human experience.
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To make a draft of your soul's blueprint, take these steps!
Look at your chart to know your Ascendant, Sun and Moon signs and chart ruler(s). If your rising sign has two rulers, take them both into account. In my case, I always use whole sign system.
Identify the houses of your placements.
Start drafting your Ascendant, Sun and Moon signs' significations using the tables below, including both positive and negative traits. If we're moving through life based mostly on our positive qualities, it's very likely we're on the right track. Conversely, living constantly under the influence of our negative traits marks potential blockages to get where we need to be.
Add to your blueprint areas in which you naturally express your placement's traits (houses). This is important because you will know where your mission will be accomplished more easily or naturally.
Have fun!
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If you're having a bit of trouble to come up with yours, take my own example...
I am proud of myself when I present to the world as passionate, powerful, magnetic, and intuitive (positive Scorpio rising qualities). I realize that when I become vengeful, jealous, obsessive and/or mournful (negative Scorpio rising qualities), I am attracting unnecessarily challenging circumstances that hinder my lessons in my life. My personality (rising sign) projects most in my physical appearance image and identity, in my close communities and in the pursuit of my dreams (Chart Rulers in 1st and 11th house). I feel my life has meaning when I act as a nurturing, sensitive, creative and empathetic person (positive traits of Cancer sun), but when I become needy, emotionally instable, insecure and/or manipulating with others (negative traits of Cancer sun), I realize that I am blocking myself from living in my fullest potential. The area where my conscious self (Sun sign) shines most is in my path towards higher learning, distant travelling, truth seeking, legal affairs and spirituality (Sun in 9th house). I feel safe and fulfilled when I can be brave, independent, assertive and passionate (positive Moon in Aries traits). But, when I realize that I'm repeatedly reacting in a violent, selfish, impulsive and/or inconstant way (negative Moon in Aries traits), I know that am blocking my ability to be peaceful within myself and move ahead in life. My emotional needs (Moon sign) are best taken care of through my habits, health care, daily routine, service to others, jobs, and pets (Moon in the 6th house).
Now, what information can you derive from this description? What does this tell about my purpose in this life?
Naturally, I am pulled to creative, healing and spiritual work. I studied Industrial Design in college, but I've expanded my career in other directions, including developing and managing intermittently art and esoteric online businesses while also holding an office job in Change Management. I am also the eternal student, self-learning and passionate about higher knowledge. I like to share my insights with others and help them find their own truth, their own awakening. I am drawn to intense (and sometimes not so positive) experiences and relationships, and have drastically changed my own image, jobs and spiritual views along the years. I've certainly went through a lot of turmoil, but also have gained significant life lessons and valuable wisdom thanks to the way I approach life. I cannot help to be deeply emotional, empathetic, passionate, excitable, idealistic and inspired, for the good and the bad! Even though it's not been an easy road, I realize that little by little my purpose is being fulfilled... and I hope you all do!
What about you? Let me know what you find out about yourself!
Thanks for reading! 😘🖤
Written by @soberpluto
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leatherfaceish · 1 year
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FATAL ATTRACTION HOTLINE
You fall victim to a hotline serial killer on campus, unbeknownst to you that it’s your classmate Mickey attempting to fulfill his desires.
RATING — MATURE & EXPLICIT PAIRING — mickey altieri x gender-neutral! reader GENRE(S) — drabble, ghostface! au, 1997! au, stalker! au, college! au, crime, smut, thriller WORD COUNT — 4k WARNINGS — mature content, heavy (seriously) dark humor, intense situations, manipulation, weapon used: knife, petname used: baby, humor towards suicide as a distraction, dumbification, stalker! mickey, mickey is an ass, reader dies btw SMUT WARNINGS — sexual content, dub-con (consent is given), prey/predator dynamic, biting/marking, dry & clothed handjob, unprotected intercourse, creampie, double orgasm, spit as lube, hair-pulling, dark! mickey is basically feral for you RELEASE DATE — APR 13TH 2023
AUTHOR’S NOTE — i think this is the most fucked up thing I've written to date, and yet it's kind of tame? lmao but the reader's entire thought process being like "i want to see how this ghostface FUCKS." absolutely took me out. and i wrote it. also yes i changed the title because i’m worried this site will have a field day with this one.
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NAVIGATION | MASTERLIST | FEEDBACK
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“Calling at such a late hour?” The robotic voice seemed to lean into the microphone, almost cackling at the time you’ve dialed the hotline written on the bathroom stall. “You must be desperate.”
"When was the last time you felt something?" Your finger tapped at the numbers on the wall, the stall seeming to fit you just right in the moment of your weakest. "Like really—feel."
"Jumping head first into the suicidal thoughts tonight, aren't we baby?" Their voice made your heart nearly skip, but the tears along the corner of your eyes were hot enough to keep you grounded.
"I'm serious." 
"So am I." It felt like a joke to them, your brow furring and teeth gritting almost seeming to be heard by them over the phone. "Did you even read the message on the wall?"
"The writing?" You questioned, eyes finding the marker written words along the wall again. "It's fading."
"It's been there for a few years now."
A junior, or a senior.
"Do I really need to tell it to you straight? Can't you read it for yourself?" You could hear the smile on their face by now, even if a box that changes their voice was held over their lips.
You wanted to speak every syllable you could make out before they could say anything else, but they were already ahead of you.
"A disclaimer from left to right: A sexual experience that ends in demise. One you'll never forget, and no one else will either!"
You sat quietly, reading along with them until you realized just what you had called into. From first glance, the number seemed to be from someone who had once been in your position. Sitting in the abandoned dorm's bathroom stall crying your eyes out, up to your neck in the negatives of life and school, and so miserable that you just wanted one person to speak to that understands.
"I didn't read that part." You spoke just above a whisper.
"Let me guess: You thought this was just a suicide hotline? Someone to listen to your problems and give you advice or the answers you're looking for, maybe even some hope?" They couldn't hide the laughter in their voice, almost cherishing your innocence and stupidity. "Someone who would make you leave the call feeling better about things?"
"Is that not what you do?"
You could hear them losing their patience, the huff before they spoke seeming to make your head rush. "Read the fine print again."
Sexual. This hotline was for sex. But why was suicide mentioned?
"Are you a guy?" The question to you seemed so small and quick, but they weren't playing short.
"Is that your preference? Men?"
"Why do you ask that?"
"The sexual part, baby." Their voice didn't grow faint for a second, almost as if they held the phone even closer to the voice box to make things more apparent. "It's the 90's, you could be into anyone these days."
"So, you are a man." A conclusion, and his laughter on the other end.
"I can only provide dick. Such a shame, isn't it?" You almost couldn't help the cackle that left you, his interest peaking.
"Why were you crying?" Finally, he seemed sincere.
"Bad day."
"One of many in this school."
"You're a student?"
But his shortness made itself up in other bits—like now, when he ignores your dig into his personal life.
"Do you understand who you've called?" He seemed to teeter on his sanity, voice raising a volume higher than before to make his point. "What I am going to need from you now?"
"Don't hotlines have consensual guidelines?"
"I'm no normal hotline." His teeth sounded gritted, his patience leaving him fully. "You dialed the number." His voice returned soft, his sing-songy tone almost mocking. "You even pressed the dial button. And here you are, clueless."
"C-Clueless? How does this even work? You feed some sick person a bunch of nonsense until they do what you ask?"
"Have I asked you to do anything for me?"
You almost had to rethink the entire conversation, but he had never truly pried so much. Even now, minutes into the conversation, you could hang up and move on. Maybe even call a real hotline.
"Let me guess, you're considering hanging up?
"What if I do?"
"That would only piss me off, baby. Think harder. How can I be so sure of this working?"
Your mind was blank, only listening to his robotic voice in your ears like a guide.
"I don't understand."
"Sex for a faked suicide." He cackled, speaking slowly. "That's who you called. You set yourself up, all because you want to die so badly. Wouldn't you prefer to go out shaking and orgasming than cold and lifeless?"
"How do you know what I want?"
"Sitting in that lonesome bathroom crying all night isn't going to solve any of your problems. But talking to me, letting me take control of your life and your fate could." He spoke rapidly, like gun-fire—as if he had been waiting a long time to say these things to someone who was dumb enough to call. "Stall three from the door, right?"
The conversation turned predatory, his voice growing darker and shorter as he spoke on.
"Look at that—" He said the three words just above a whisper, your shaking body listening like the world was in slow motion. "I can even see your shoes beneath the door."
It was a dream, you felt like you weren't conscious as you noticed the swaying black dress cut roughly at the end. One that of the grim reaper, or better known to your town as the outfit of the Ghostface killer.
"P-Please…"
"Please what?" You could hear his grin, could feel his energy through the door and through the mask he wore like it was a fire. "Tell me what you want, baby."
"I-I can't…"
"Want me to make it go away?" His voice returned to the annoyed tone it sometimes held, a tilt of the Ghostface mask letting you see the white face through the crack of the door towards side of the lock.
"How?" Your voice was a whisper, but in such an empty space, the bathroom seemed to echo the word off every wall.
"Tell me you want me." His voice was stern. "Tell me you want me to do it."
"I-I want you to—" Your voice shook. "d-do what?"
"To fuck you. And then to let you go."
Every racing thought has brought you here. Every mention of wanting to end your life, negative thoughts in your mind like they lived there—it all carried you to this one, unhinged solution.
"And if I say no?"
It was the loudest sound in so long, the clash of the pager against the crack of the door where you could once see his mask peeking through. Even with a squint of your eyes, you knew the phone number across the screen was your cell number.
"I know who you are." Another smile behind his mask, a hefty breath through the voice box, and the killer seemed to be in heaven. "I'll kill you either way. So, why not agree to the fun part?"
The tears falling down your face had grown hotter as you shook in fear, splashing onto the tiled floor of the old bathroom in tandem with a dripping faucet. As everything grew silent, and your mind fell even quieter—you spoke.
"I want you to do it."
"Where do you want it done?" That rough tone again, he wanted quick answers.
"I-In my dorm."
"Live alone, huh?"
He pulled the pager back, slipping it into his pocket and pressing his hand against the lock of the door to feel the coin-slot ridge. All it needed was a turn, and then you were all his.
"How do you like to be fucked?" This was clearly his favorite question, a light tone of excitement in his voice as the dark eyes of the mask peered through the crack of the door once more.
"D-Deep. It's better that way." You spoke in cut words, still shaking as you heard his breathing stutter from what you said. "I like to feel e-everything."
"Everything?" He repeated, only the question was rhetoric. "I'll make you feel everything."
And there it was again, that rise in his voice that told you he was up to something. With so little words being spoken, you could only make out his movements—and without skipping a beat, you knew just what he was doing.
A clean knife prodded into the line of the lock outside of the door. A safety feature added to help those outside get in when necessary, even if it was against the safety of the one inside. You could hear the sharp object click in, turning until you saw the lock slip from inside the wall back into the door. And just as the thin door squealed open, you found yourself face to face with death.
"This—" The robotic voice was somehow louder with the door open, a short step into the single stall making you shake more from his presence. "isn't your dorm room, is it?"
Your head shook rapidly, going along with what he said in order to not cause any harm to yourself. You wanted to scream, every fiber of your being truly wanted to—but you knew the knife in his hand would slice your throat with ease if you did.
With every sexual experience comes the part where your stomach is twisting in anticipation, such as now.
"Then let's go there, shall we?" He spoke kindly, a façade making your body ache with the idea that he's not all that bad, as he offered you his gloved hand.
The fabric of his glove was thick, enough to keep blood or any liquids from soaking in and staining. Your hand cupped his palm, his fingers taking hold of yours with a tight grip. Just as it crossed your mind again, that he's not so bad, your neck was met with the sharp metal blade.
"This is how this goes. We walk out, hand-in-hand—all romantic like—and we make a b-line for your dorm room. Any attempt to run or get help, and you die on the spot."
"O-Okay…" The knife trailed the skin of your throat, begging to press into your flesh and retrieve some reaction from you that's pure pain. But the man seemed to linger his touch lower, his free hand falling upon your waist like it had been there before.
He was stern, uncaring of your tears being wiped away by your own touch, and most certainly rushed as he pulled you forward at a fast pace. "Good."
You had almost forgotten the journey you normally made out into the abandoned dorm. Lined off with caution tape, and only one door that allowed you in and out without being seen—the eeriness of the building being so quiet and stuck in time was just as scary as the killer walking you along its halls.
"Take it easy." The voice box over his mouth seemed to click with his words, sounding faulty as he pressed you forward and out the door of the old building. "This won't take long."
There were thumps and bumps all across the ground as you walked by housing holding sorority parties. The man's grip tightened every time you walked by someone. Anyone getting particularly close made you cling to him in a loving way. Anything to make you appear normal. Anything to keep you alive right now.
"Walk slower." The louder music was coming from your own dorm, a party that had started long before you made a move to the abandoned dorm still going strong. "Costume party. What idiots."
He was right, a sea of costumes immediately melting the two of you into the party like you had been there the whole time. From pulls on your waist, to jolts of your body forward to rush you into corners, you had finally gotten through the most packed floors and into your dorm room.
The cool air made your skin rush with goosebumps, a moment in time seeming to stop everything as you spun to face the masked man. He was skilled, clicking your door shut and locking it—all with the knife he once held to your throat returning to his hand.
You could hear his voice box click, hear the thumping of your own heart in your ears almost louder than his voice.
"This is where you want to die?" He asked, pointing the shiny knife at your small bed in the middle of the room. "Right here? On your own blankets?"
You bit at your tongue, eyes growing glossy as he took a step towards you every time he spoke. It wasn't until he was right in front of you, the faintest hint of his cologne moving into your nose, that you could even comprehend what was happening.
Tears seemed to pour slower, but your body needed more air. You seemed to stifle, sniffling in deep breaths and trying to swallow it all down into your lungs as fast as you could.
One sniff, and you felt nothing. Another, and you smelled something familiar. One more deep breath, and that hard-to-miss smell of someone you know finally broke through.
The white mask was tight on his head, held in place as he tilted his head slightly in curiosity. Your sniffling had stopped, glossy eyes matching with what would be his glowing brown irises within the eyes of the mask.
"M-Mickey?"
He didn't move. He didn't have to. It was simply meant to be—that you found out.
"Now you really can't live after this, baby."
He spoke with such confidence, his knifeless hand raising the Ghostface mask up and off his head until his chiseled face was in your view. His wide teeth, fang-like canine in your sight, and it was truly your fellow student Mickey Altieri.
You took in his clean appearance, the sweat dripping down his temples and jawline from the thick mask he had worn for nearly an hour now. His outfit was just the same as the costume shown on the news for the last few years—banned, then unbanned, and now favored by many.
"I finally got you right where I want you." The man had a squeak to his voice when he was excited, a Cheshire grin on his face. It all made sense now, how you knew his emotions even without being able to see him before.
You wanted to breathe, suck in his scent and reassure yourself that he would never do something like this. The lighthearted film major with an affliction for gore and horror—you should have known he was a red flag deep down.
But his lips attached to your own, moved to taste you with his tongue and suck the oxygen from your lungs like he could steal your soul that way. His lips tasted metallic from the voice box that had been pressed against his mouth most of the night. He swayed you side to side until his arms were wrapped securely around your waist and there was no way you could leave him.
And when the breath was finally returned to you, you could truly see the craziness in his bright irises and blown pupils.
"Tell me you want me." His lips pecked at yours between his sentences. "Tell me you want me to fuck you. Just like before!"
His pink tongue poked out between his lips to press into your skin, lapping at the dried and salty tears along your cheeks all the way down to your collarbones. There, you felt his teeth. Pearly whites leaving a small bruise on your neck as he awaited your magic words.
This was it. There was nothing you could think of past this. And there was no running far enough away from him.
"M-Mickey." He halted at his name being said slowly and softly, his eyes turning warm as they peered up at you from below your chin. His gentle smile, the one that made your heart skip a few times before you knew he was capable of this, it still gave you butterflies. "I want you to be the one."
"Oh—" His body language was confused, but his eyes were wild. Looking between your gaze and the mark he left on you, you could see him hesitate from reaching to grab his knife and cut you right there. "Oh—fuck, I thought I'd never here you say those words."
His hands were shaking, leaving the thin fabric of his costume where he rubbed his sides to grab hold of you again. His fingers were tight against your clothing, pulling at whatever he could get off of you right then and there.
It was his sense of giddiness that almost made you forget he planned to kill you afterwards. How his tongue stuck between his aligned teeth every time he saw more skin. The animalistic sounds he made as he licked and kissed at you until his weight pressed you into the mattress.
"You taste just how I imagined." The man cooed, losing all of the cool and collective he once had with his voice box.
His hand slipped down, the knife covered by his costume now poking into your side as he felt at the wetness growing between your legs. His coated fingertip raised towards his mouth, your juices making his eyes clenched shut in euphoria as he moaned.
You didn't want to admit that his fingers dipping back down against you felt good, or that how he appeared now—so out of his mind from your taste and your unclothed body beneath him alone—made your head spin. The man had been tailing you all along, stalking you until he knew what headspace you were in, that you would soon call his hotline and make yourself his victim.
It was meant to be creepy, but as his hand took your wrist and pressed your cupped hand against his hard length—you couldn't regain the sense to feel scared.
"Look at what you do to me." His head hung, eyes staring at you darkly as he used his fingers to press your hand into him until he was grinding against your touch. You could feel the stain of precum spurting through the fabric of both his underwear and the costume, sucking in a deep breath when you felt him twitch when you rubbed him on your own accord.
The man was going insane—even if he was already previously. 
"I want you." He groaned, his weakened neck laying his head onto your shoulder as you kept your rhythm against his clothed cock. "I want to feel your insides."
"Then why don't you?" He hissed at your words, his hips thrusting into your hold until he was rutting against you. If he didn't slow down now, he wouldn't fuck you like you want him to. "Mickey."
His name made his hips stutter and stop, eyes finding yours again. It was almost like he forgot why he was here, so drunk on you that he just wanted to fill you up. You could see him waver, bite down on his tongue, and then be sent into overdrive.
Mickey moved quickly, pulling at your hips until your body was facing flat against the mattress and your head was buried against your pillow. You could hear his costume being ripped in certain places, feel his body heat closing in on your backside—but what was most appalling was the feeling of his fingers pulling your underwear down your legs until they hung at your ankles.
It was almost rewarding, feeling his tip at your wet entrance. The saliva from his mouth had drooled enough onto his fingers when he was collecting your wetness to add to it all, and every inch of him that slipped into you made a squelching sound.
"Fuuuck—fuck, fuck, fuck!" His words got louder and louder, his cock being held by your walls trying so hard not to fill you with his cum just from one pump in. Mickey was at a loss, your body heating up just right until your warmth made him feel alive.
"This is what I wanted." His motion to pull out was cut off by his tiny rut back into you, just a small feeling of needing to fuck you fast dissipating when he remembered you like it rough. His head fell into your neck when he slammed into you harshly, feeling you clench around him like never before. "This is all I wanted…"
"M-Mickey." You cried with his words, short but sweet to him as he filled you up only to pull out and thrust back in with such vigor that your entire bed was shaking. "Do what you want to me, Mickey."
His hair was a mess, the discarded Ghostface mask being shaken off the side of the bed from his hard thrusts and landing on the floor going unnoticed by the two of you. So lost in each other, everything seemed to slip away.
If only he had you sooner.
The hand at your waist lifted, the weight of his body holding you down into the mattress and giving him enough space to fuck you deep and fast. You could hardly form words, and he couldn't make any other sounds except moans.
It wasn't until his free hand pulled at your hair, enough to raise your head to let you speak, that you remembered the entire premise of this transaction.
"Do you like me now?!" He asked with a boiling anger in his voice but a rumbling orgasm approaching. "All those times you turned me down. And you could have had this."
"I-Is this how you do it?" You spoke through broken cries and gritted teeth. "You wait for some poor girl to call your hotline, whaling into the phone about wanting to die. All so you could talk her into letting you fuck her first before you kill her?"
"The perfect way to die." He groaned, pressing himself deeper into your walls as they clenched around him sporadically in the race towards your orgasm.
You could feel his hot seed start to fill you, his thrusts running messy just as your body shook and went firm. Orgasms taking over both of you at the same time, you wanted nothing more now than to find a way out of this.
"Mickey?" His hand was still in your hair, but your head had fallen back onto the pillow. "I-I just—"
Your skull felt his strength, head lifted back up from the cool pillow with the sharp knife on your throat once more. You could feel drips of blood falling down your neck and staining the pillow.
"Just want to stay alive?" Mickey had returned to his unhinged stature, almost as if it had never left him for a second. "Baby, baby, baby." He cooed, his thumb pressing into the side of your cheek with his fist that held the knife. "I got my end of the deal…"
"Please—"
"You've gotta get yours." The knife was piercing, the blade having been recently sharpened finely until it could cut through almost anything. As you felt more blood leaving your neck, you could hear his soft voice in your ears—almost as if he were God himself speaking to you during your final breath.
"And just so you know—" There it was, one last time, that huge Cheshire grin in your peripheral. "You were my first."
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© leatherfaceish — all rights reserved. do not plagiarize, repost, or translate any of my works without my permission. do not post my content on other sites, especially claiming them as your own! reblogs and feedback are seriously appreciated <3
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