#i am gonna miss it when this is all over | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

livelovecaliforniadreams · 9 months ago

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#i can't handle the cuteness that is them #i am gonna miss it when this is all over #so much cute content daily #like what even?#polin #penelope x colin #colin x penelope #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #love #nicola coughlan #luke newton #bridgerton

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luck-of-the-drawings · 10 months ago

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"And soda; runs off into the street..." "...and soda... is totally okay!"

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #cw blood #something something cracking open a boy w the cold ones #IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES I MISSED I SWWWEAR TO JEBEDIAH. IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA DIE IT NEEDS TO BE DONE #ALSO RRRAAAHAHHHGHGH CAN I JUST TAKEA SECOND TO SCREEAAMM ABT HOW MUCH I LOVE SODA AND EMIZEL.. LIKE THERYE SO CUTE....#THEY ARE HOMIES THAT KISS EACHOTHR GOODNIGHT. THEY CARE SO MUCH FOR EACHOTHER. SODA LOVES SODA AND SODA LOVES YOU #do u guys remember how willing he was to share blood w his vampire bestie. like cmon. remember when emizel memorized sodas Soda Schedule.#LIKE CMON.... they just have eachothers backs so much. ouhhh my god... ANYWAY SO THE ART HUH. I FEEL LIKE I SCRAMBLED W IT FOR A WHILE #DRAWIN IS HARD..... i think i did well in the end tho.. i like the lil heart beat effects. and i hope i made soda look Suffieciently Scared #i ALSO had fun w the teeth. i however did not have fun w the walls. if i had more drugs i mightve done every brick in more detail #but i didnt WANNA!!!! this will suffice.I HOPE IT FLOWS WELL&THAT ITS CLEAR... IVE STARED AT IT SO LONG IT IS NOW VISUAL SOUP. HELP!!!#i want my comics to have more Pauses and Space and Thought and Momence. i feel like normally they go so fast. but THIS time #i think i did good.... huuoouhhhh.... comics are HARD art is HARD but i am HARDER. or something. OH YEAH I HAVE MORE ART THINGS #soda was RLY HARD FOR ME TO DRAW FOR A MINUTE..but i like where his design is now. i wanted his hair to be curly swirly.like soda fizz #i THINK thats all my thoughts for now. if u have thoughts u should spill them in the tags i looooove reading tttaaggsss #have a goodnight i gotta go to work soon. maybe. unless the casinos power goes out AGAIN. OR SEOMTHING... UUGHHH MY SCHEDULE IS IN SHAMBLES #I THOUGHT I WAS WORKIN 3 DAYS INA ROW SO I RENTED A WHOLE DAMN HOTEL BC THE JOB PLACE IS FAR AWAY.. I HAD TO CANCEL THE WHOLE RESERVATOn #annd im MMMMAD ABOUT IT!!! like ill get over it ofc BUT IM PEEVED!!!! IM INCONVIENIENCED AND GENTLY AGGRIVATED. BUT OVERALL FINE.#hope yalls weekend goes well. sleep well. if u get the chance to.

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hplonesomeart · 2 months ago

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Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye

#the hell am I so anxious about? maybe it’s just overstimulation stuff #hoping it’ll die down because I can’t keep enjoying myself when I’m like this #seriously is starting to mess with my flight responses over the tiniest things #like yea obviously I needed to stay logged out of Tumblr so I would focus more on schoolwork #but uhhhh gonna be transparent and say a huge part of it is the jolts of anxiety :(#like even the thought of logging back here has caused me to feel like sweating #my brain kept saying ‘no I don’t want to I can’t do that’ even when I felt bad for missing out on others posts #like I want to be here so I can support my mutuals dammit!!!#I’m a mess. I’m such a broken mess oh great lovely spectacular #maybe the culminating stress of final exam deadlines is worsening stuff as well #I can’t tell you why I’m like this I just am 🙃#anyways thinking I’ll start adapting to the distance. Sorry but being a shut-in is more appealing right now #I just need time to be with myself and not be so invested in the lives of others #anyways what’s something mildly positive I can wrap this up with so I don’t seem pathetic….#ah yes the final Puzzle sketch here was drawn today before a class period #one of my fellow classmates noticed and audibly asked me ‘is that Mr. Puzzles?’#IT TOOK EVERTHING IN MY WILLPOWER TO NOT LET OUT A GIDDY SHRIEK #Felt like my eyes bulged and I jolted in enthusiasm jskjsksp spontaneous happiness?? actally experiencing the feeling of fitting in??#anyways I responded with a very normal ‘WAIT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM???’ while trying to suppress grinning or going ‘teehee’#anyways now it’s my personal mission to keep initiating conversations with her because AUUUUUGH SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS I’M LOSING IT #proceeded to talk about Murder Drones & TADC like holy SHIT I didn’t think I would ever find animation peeps in my psychology class auuu 😭💜#it’s a MIRACLE man this may be a sign that college won’t be isolating anymore yaaaaayyy #PUZZLE IS SINGLE HANDILY HELPING ME TALK TO PEOPLE BOTH ONLINE AND IRL THIS IS WILD #all hail the best comfort character seriously holy shit—like imagine she never noticed me drawing Puzzles!! I’D STILL BE LONELY AS HELL #okay sorry I’ll stop typing like a teenager and go back to pretending to be well-versed in speech & conducting myself ‘normally’ :3 #doodles #sketches #hplonesome art #not tagging with Puzzles because hahaaaaa don’t look at me

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svtskneecaps · 3 months ago

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if i get a purgatory 3 before the year is out i'm so sorry i'm going to be INSUFFERABLE

#qsmp #local purgatory poster is going to go fucking FERAL sorry!!!!!#like obv i'll tag appropriately and i probably won't put it in the maintag #but REEEEEEEE i have deadass no joke been vodwatching the purgs this past week just organically.....#like i went back to bolas day 1 and crow day 3&4 and i'm starting on some of aimsey's vods #probs that's gonna. have me backwatching panda tho. bc. that's my team.......... and i miss them...... a lot.......#crow day 4 also helped remind me that badboyhalo is The Gringo Ever tho #the raccrow team was a blessing and also had me jumping over to the fuckin event where bad teamed w soarinng #i'mf ucking all over the place i am going through withdrawls #where is the spanglish when i need it. what is happening. im going crazy #i am this close to relearning java via trying to reverse engineer the purgatory disaster mod #you all would be FUCKED if figuring out where to even START wasn't so intimidating #bc i can absolutely 100% make a knockoff purgatory called 'burger sorry' if the fucking forge documentation stops scaring me #once i get over the barrier for entry there will be nothing stopping me #count your days. the purgatory at home could be coming for you. once it stops. scaring me. ahaha.#shut up vic #block game brainrot #long tags

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skunkes · 4 months ago

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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)

but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.

the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore

#talkys #my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading #to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want #to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing #never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it #nothing seems very worth it #im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true #well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's #moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai #delete later #even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions #my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years #and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came #im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that #<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave #and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever #and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l

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foxgloveinspace · 1 year ago

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People jumping ship cause of the new masks is very ahhhh. Telling. Tbh.

#very much so #tell me you where only here cause of the looks without telling me your only here cause of the looks #listen. I miss the old masks already too. that’s not the point.#you can mourn for something without that taking away your joy for it.#‘it’s all moving so fast’ iii has been turning red since July.#‘they’re evolving too fast’ or we just got here later then others.#‘I can’t even listen anymore’ sucks to be you. the music that has been put out hasn’t changed so I don’t understand this one #‘they’re gonna get cancelled over this’ ok. I guess this is just thinning out the people who were real fans and who where fake fans #I’m gonna be a sleep token fan til the end. if this is the way they want their image to go? I’ll follow. if we get heavier music next?#sounds fucking amazing to me. (I listen to heavier stuff anyway).#idk I just think it’s so so so fucking telling. that if your jumping ship cause their Live Performance Aesthetic has changed… you didn’t #mean it when you said sleep token was important to you.#like I’m 100% MOURNING the old masks. I am BMO with Finn’s old hair sobbing about the old masks.#but I know this too shall pass #this is how I fucking felt about Vessel’s mask change #and to everyone going ‘what about Vessel and the Chior!’#1). VESSEL HAD A MASK CHANGE EARLIER THIS YEAR!!! he isn’t gonna change masks again so fast those fuckers r expensive!#2). the choir did have a change?? they wherent wearing robes at all and where in body chains they looked amazing #I get we are all neurodiverse and hate change but take a deep breath before you renounce all your sleep token love #I’m guessing Vessel will get a new mask in April again. for the kick off show.#tonight was a closing show. and he didn’t FEEL GOOD. I wouldn’t be surprised that if he was gonna do something with a new mask #if he pushed it back because he didn’t feel good.#he performed a whole show while we could TELL his throat was hurting. fuck.#I want to wrap him up in a warm hug and give him hot water with honey in it.#idk I’m rambling. it’s just telling.

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itsmistyeyedbi · 25 days ago

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There's so much I want to write and so much I want to read, but I can't fully engage with much of anything right now and it's killing me😭

#so many fic ideas! i thought about a zuri x farah one with zuri doing her hair #and them talking about their experiences regarding their hair and how its perceived #i wrote my general thoughts down on it and it would be !!!#so interesting!!#(especially since things concerning race aren't really... there in game ig - and idk if i want it to be for a variety of reasons)#(but exploring it with them could be !!!!!!!)#i thought of a mini series of zuri and adam going on drives together as their relationship progresses #i also wanna write something with zuri and bobby after the events of book 3 #with bobby seeking her out with more genuine intentions than he does in book 2 and contrasting the two #i wanna write a few scene rewrites just for just #and there are so many fics i wanna read! i've missed so many of them and they all seem so interesting and fun #but i am suffering💀#i'm in a different country for an extended period of time (for me at least) when i really didn't want to be #(travelling in general isn't really for me - not when my parents 'plan' it)#i'm struggling to sleep because it's not my bed and i am constantly aware that its not my bed #all my energy is going into being as okay as i can be while counting the days until i can go home #(and i know as soon as i'm on the plane i'm gonna feel like this wasn't so bad so i dislike that it still mostly feels like it is)#and i forgot to take the pill for days now so my period just started for the second time this month💀💀#make it stop PLEASE #this ended up being a more personal rant but like UAUSGSH #i just need it to be over #chichi.txt

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zivaninja · 1 month ago

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Blue Bloods finale things/spoilers under the cut that I wanted to yell about:

• Jamko parents!!! Parents!! Oh how far they've come 😭

• I'm going to miss Eddie Janko so damn much, that's my girl.

•Jack and Erin getting married!! They finally got their happy ending. And the looks on their faces at dinner as they decided to keep it to themselves was just so 💜😭

• Danny's face when Henry tells him to find his person to come home to. He already knows.

• Danny Reagan! Asking Maria Baez! On a date! And her saying yes! He doesn't need to go look for his person because she's right there besides him. And the look on her face when she agreed!!

#blue bloods #jamko #jerin #daez #eddie janko #i'm going to miss so many of these characters so fucking much #crying over jamko on tumblr gone midnight I suddenly feel like i'm 18 again when I literally just turned 25 yday #I expected jamko parents and we knew that jack and erin were back together but getting 3/3 for my ships? blessed #jerin getting married again feels so right. their chemistry is unmatched #(the way jack looks at her. I get it.)#and then danny asking baez on a date took me out #the implication that he thought about what henry said for a few days and all his thinking led him back to maria because she's his girl.#and he just knew he had to take that leap.#(It's fine i'm going insane over here)#i am a bit miffed that we won't actually see anything beyond him asking her out and it was slightly open ended #but considering that we knew that danny didn't want to act on his feelings bc he didn't want to risk the pain of losing her/her getting hur #the fact that he asked her out was hugely significant #the fact that he specifically said it was because he had been thinking about what henry said to him is making me lose it #they obviously hang out outside work anyway but this is Different. you could tell by how almost nervous danny was 😭 but #she was right there with him. as she always is. they're partners in every sense.#and baez knows it too!!! the look on her face!! danny will tell her one day what it was that henry said and she'll Know.#god I am going to be thinking about them for the forseeable #3/3 on my ships and a good ending on a series finale is so rare for me #anyway i've been watching this show weekly since like 2014/15 and had watched it before that with my dad #so it's so strange that it's ending. it's one of the first shows that i've watched week in and out for donkeys years that is ending and it'#gonna be odd to not have that show in my watching list anymore #shut up g #(good god sorry about the tags I had to get that all out)#if anyone actually read any of that and still wants to come yell about these things please do :)

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selfinflictedgunshotwound · 7 months ago

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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible

#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything #i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by #while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi #i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real #problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about #and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real #or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason #i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place #because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk #negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual #i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed #a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO #i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait #and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life #like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it #just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy #i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy #and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation #because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life #anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is #to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck

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wantonlywindswept · 1 year ago

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me: hmm who to romance who to romance

me: gets to the party scene

me: wait why is everyone all ready for sex now I BARELY KNOW YOU

#bg3 #ace problems #i know bg3 is all about catering to the people #infamous bear scene made that obvs #but like #i need a romance first! backstory! history!#it should take more work than this to enter a relationship with companions!#why yes i did romance fenris in da2 why do you ask #also kaidan in mass effect including no romance in me2 #look i'm too ace for this shit #anyway can't get over gale talking about his ex all the time #(tho he did compare me to his cat so point in his favor)#so i'm def gonna go karlach and maybe?? halsin?#cos apparently there's poly #larian how am i supposed to decide if i wanna sleep with halsin when i've said .5 words to the man #honestly #maybe i've missed out on a bunch of companion interactions??#idk man #EDIT TAGS: OH APPARENTLY YOU CAN'T SLEEP WITH HALSIN YET #okay that makes more sense now #edit again: ALSO WHY IS 'SHARING SOME WINE' AN INVITATION TO SEX #LARIAN PLEASE I'M WAY TOO ACE FOR THIS #this party is a minefield #EDIT 3 THERE IS NOT NECESSARILY SEX AT THIS POINT IN TIME

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princekirijo · 9 months ago

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Imma be honest with you chief this week has not been fun. At all

#oh boy i had a terrible three days time to go tell my tumblr followers about it!#ah no but jokes aside y'all.#i started my job on monday and i actually like it so far!#i haven't done any actual work or anything quite yet cause its all onboarding at the moment #but so far so good! all my colleges are lovely #so you might ask why is this one of the worst weeks of my life? two words #FOOD. POISONING.#this shit is straight up EVIL #im doing better today thank god but yesterday??? omfg #“look im being uber dramatic here but when am i not to be fair”#But seriously #ill try not to go into too much detail but. 10 hrs. yeah.#my throat feels like someone has shoved a metal ball down it #i havent eaten anything today #and I'm missing two days of training over this 😭#this is so embarrassing first week on the job and boom food poisoning knocks me out for two of them #im gonna be the food poisoning guy 😭#i hope y'all are having a better time than i am

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blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk · 5 months ago

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tomorrow is my first day back to work and I'm a lil nervous

I haven't been able to get anything written for here bc I've been trying to get a couple other things written (updating my Bill Cipher redemption fic and starting a Gyutaro x reader x Daki because I make poor life choices)

but I'm on light duty for a month, basically just sitting at the register checking people out, unable to do any stocking or anything bc I'm not allowed to lift anything over 15 pounds so I can't lift totes, bend much, or reach much, so I'm allowed to bring something to do in between customers... maybe I'll get some writing done? I feel as if I'll be slacking off bc that's how my brain works

but you know what, I kill myself for that store normally, I don't work full time simply because I can't afford medical insurance if I did, but even working only part time I give my all while I'm there, I'm not someone who slacks off. so if I'm healthfully and approvedly permitted to slack off and take it easy for a month, I guess I'll take it (... plus, I mean, I'll still be working, just light duty, it's not like I'll show up and get paid to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, I'm still gonna be ringing out customers)

ANYWAY MY POINT IS-

get those last requests in! after I get home from work tomorrow, I'll be closing the askbox and won't open it back up till this batch is finished and I swear I mean that this time 😂

#mod post #should I have ordered Jessii Vee merch knowing I am not getting paid for two weeks bc I didn't work for two weeks ? maybe not #BUT DAMMIT THIS IS WHY I HAVE SAVINGS #'weirdness all the way ' button and YANA 'be kind' button and squishy pink gummi bear COME TO ME #... been uh. been doing a lot of impulse online shopping while I've been sitting at home bc idk it scratches a certain itch in my brain #and my mama has been nice enough to be buying most of my food when I usually buy my own just bc it's hard for me to walk around much rn #but I'm feeling a lot better physically I just get tired easily so hopefully I'm gonna be back to buying my own food soon #like I appreciate everything my mom and lil bro have been doing for me but MAN I don't like being UNABLE to do shit myself you know?#I took a shower this morning and it exhausted me and Mom had to be in there to help me the whole time in case I lost my balance or smth #it's better than it was the first week but I still hate feeling like I've temporarily lost some of my independence #I can't wait to shower by myself again and for it not to drain me #which is such a small thing to want and miss but like #OKAY TAG RANT OVER THIS RECOVERY IS JUST DRAGGING #I'm getting old tbh that's what it is I'm 30 and don't bounce back like I used to 😂😂😂😂

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rosicheeks · 5 months ago

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