#i am going to write an ESSAY about how good it is to see roi actually smile sdkjmlfjgk

[brightblessed]

[irena-dubrovnaa]

damijon, timsteph, dickroy and rosecassie (as in wondergirl lol <3) for the ship bingo xoxo

OUSGISSHJ i could write literal essays abt each one of these

1)

okay so i have very mixed emotions about this one, bc on one hand i feel like in main continuity it wouldn't work out, but maybe in like an elseworlds thing it could??? but im also very much a fan of them not being romantic but not also being traditionally platonic so i just settle for calling them "a secret, more sinister third thing". also they're both trans. so like. t4t best friendship that only they (and me) really #Get. i just have so many complicated feelings about their lore and friendship and how damian's friendships are so inherently complex because of how he operates on a personal level and jon simply understanding and not needing damian to change a thing, they're just so content existing w each other and within each others spaces. i very much appreciate how even after all the change they've gone thru they're still close and care about each other, and i am also a massive fan of them both getting along with each others People

2)

OH LORD OK TIMSTEPH OK i don't think ive ever actually talked abt them before, but i should. they're t4t bi4bi most definitely. i actually did enjoy their relationship to an extent while they were dating but it wasn't entirely my cup of tea bc i tend to ship them w other people but the appeal was definitely there, like it was clear how much they cared for each other, its cute and its there and i can get behind it. i do actually prefer their dynamic as exes because of how rare it is to see m/f friendships without ulterior motives on either part, ESPECIALLY if the characters in question are exes, so it's actually refreshing to see them still have a caring dynamic without secretly being hung up on each other. i also think tim's regret over ending it the way he did was nice to see, because while it wasn't out of character to ghost her it also wasn't out of character for him to look back and realize "i could/should have handled that better" so i feel like it does well to convey how he does actually still love her even if not romantically anymore

3)

H. HHHH. SHAKES THEM

i feel like their dynamic in preboot comics is a hell of a lot better than anything the new 52 or rebirth had to offer. i miss when roy and donna were dick's best friends honestly. i feel like their relationship was sidelined a lot in favor of jason and roy and dick and wally which sucks because??? they were fine as they were?? they've got a lot of love and care for each other, especially in the 80s and 90s comics, they're always complimenting each other and telling each other how well they're doing but they're also not afraid to call each other out if one of them does some stupid shit, i think thats good for both of them. i also think roy's relationship w the bats would be funny, as well as dick's relationship with the arrows. they've both got similar family dynamics but also very different in a loooot of ways

4) NOBODY EVER TALKS ABOUT THIS SHIP SO *IM* GOING TO

i literally can't get over their rivalry, like they hated each other so much but also there was just something so unexplainable about them to me??? like idk i just always loved how they interacted even when they were arguing and fighting. i just KNOW if dc let cassie be butch in the 00s during the peak of their rivalry they would have kissed. i feel it in my bones. it's also nice to see since they've both got more complex relationships w the people around them it would be nice to see them sorta bounce off of each other in the respect that they've got a lot going on and they know how the other feels so they bond over the struggles of navigating relationships and friendships and just life in general. i also think it'd be funny to watch diana smack slade for saying smthn out of pocket at like an in laws family dinner or some other gathering but thats mostly just bc i think slade should be smacked in general

[androgynousblackbox]

Dude, I keep seeing The Succession, but it's like, do people binge watch this thing?? Because I just have to take it in little by little because it's just so fucking good, my brain feels so fucking full and satisfied that I HAVE to masticate on the debauchery I just saw for a while before I can submit myself for more. Like, Roman is my favorite fucked up little guy. The way that he is literally the scapegoat of the family and the ONLY ONE who anyone ever speaks about receiving the worst punishments, but they were brainwashed by their father to believe that he liked it as a child despite he insisting otherwise? The way that he is the ONLY ONE that Roy ever puts his hands on and that makes Kendall to immediately jump on his defense, yelling at his father despite the whole entire season being literally a puppet at his hands? Masterful, beautiful. This is the good drama that I wish I could ever write. Ah, man, I could literally write an entire essay on how the writing on Kendall is. As a character I don't care too much for him, he is not fun for me, but it's so well constructed and so fundamentally pathetic that I have to admire that. The whole submitting to Roy feeling so much like selling your soul to the devil and then, immediately after that, his sibling all talk about how fucking dead he looks. Like a fucking corpse that is just moving around. The way that the house they go to have a meeting for I don't care what is literally reeking of dead because a fucking animal was stuck on the chimney and meanwhile Kendall tries to pretend nothing happens. How he keeps repeating "dad's plan was better" and fucking no one believes him. The petty ass thieving that is his literal only way to rebel because it's the only thing he can control, the only thing that Roy can't touch. I am still on the fence about Shev. On one hand, I understand that she wants to believe that she has principles and she probably thinks that she is in fact a good person, but still falls into childish fighting with Roman, still disrespect the shit out of Tom because she believe herself with the right to do anything she wants and literally all it took for her to abandon a perfectly good political career was the promise of more power that she actually has no fucking clue what to do with. Like I get that she is a pampered queen, but like, compared with her two brothers, she is really getting the short end of the stick in terms of character depht.

MAN! But the way that the wife of Roy just reads her for filth and feels weirdly misogynistic because she literally never says anything like that about ANYONE ELSE? Like, what the actual fuck is up with that? Cool moment though. Anyway, I am just now around season 2 and I will be definitely reading the scripts the first chance I have, but I love this shit so much. Even the fact that sometimes the camera is handheld feels intentional in some way? I don't know if it actually is, but to me it always feels like we are merely guests on something that has clearly nothing to do with us. Not just like a play, but also a intruder that neither of these people want, a third person they can't escape from no matter how much they would like to. It's maybe a testament to how realistic all these characters feel, but every time the camera moves slightly while persueing a character I remember that someone was there, someone else was watching this happen. I don't know how to explain it, but something about it just feels cool to me. I like that aesthetic because it immediately remind me to The Office, but while the Office was intentionally set up like a documentary thing where people sometimes interacted with the camera man, this crew goes completely unrecognizable for these characters. Like we, the audience, was really never supposed to be there or we were so far removed from the status of these people that they couldn't give less of a crap about us. Like they were the gods of this world as they thought themselves to be and we mere mortals.

I love this show so much. I can't believe that it took me this long to discover it.

[katierosefun]

can I ask where you are in your Succession watch? what are your faves and current ships, if you have any? (sorry if you've been asked this already!)

okay okay okay so i have THOUGHTS, and i'm glad that you asked!

anyways, i'm on episode 2 of season 2! so still relatively early, but i can't wait to watch more! my current fave characters are shiv and willa, if only because i just . . . i really love shiv out of the three siblings? i pity kendall, and i'm slightly more intrigued in roman than i was at the start of season one--because like, idk, all the roy siblings are plainly not great people, but i can't help but want them to have . . . at least . . . somewhat okay lives? like, kendall's most sympathetic when you see him getting chewed out by logan + when you see him around rava and his kids (the season 1 finale when he's dancing with his kids . . . the song i wanna dance with somebody but the lyric being i wanna dance with somebody who loves me . . . and cutting to kendall . . . dancing with his children . . . yeah no i actually felt my heart twist at that scene). and roman's interesting to me in that he's like . . . a pretty textbook definition of an immature asshat, but when he has good moments, he seems to actually have good moments? (like, especially when they were all out at connor's house? because roman seemed to genuinely care if kendall was getting himself high or not, and i think there was partially guilt there on roman's behalf. but like. i think he does genuinely care about his older siblings, so i'm interested in seeing more of that depth.)

but rambling aside: shiv is probably the character i'm most drawn to, just because i always gravitate towards the oldest-and-only-daughter type characters. she's interesting to me in that she's separate from the company, and she's working politics, and i think that gives her some sense of I Am a Better Person Than the Rest of My Family--and maybe that's somewhat true, but from what i've seen, there's def. a seed of that roy family fucked-up-ness in her too, whether she likes it or not. but like, she's trying, i think. in her own way. she's manipulative, absolutely--but god, when she told nate in season 1 that "wouldn't it be nice to just...wake up in the morning and not feel like a shitty person?", my heart broke a little for her. my heart broke a lot for her when logan said "you're marrying a man beneath you because you're scared of being betrayed!" and my heart broke for her when she was rambling to tom about how she's not sure about her relationship with him but then ended it with "fuck, i love you" and oh boy oh god is she just a mix of all these little characteristics that i think are just genuinely, depressingly relatable in that she's smart + clever and seems to have it all but is pretty clearly Messed Up from her own perception of love + desire + etc etc etc. (so. it's delicious.)

i wish i could write. like. a whole essay on willa too, in that i didn't really know what to make of her character at first, and given that she doesn't have a whole ton of lines, i still . . . weirdly adore her? maybe because of her iconic line to tom, when she said "at least i'm only getting fucked by one of the roys, yeah?" like GO OFF WILLA!!!! I LOVE U!!! just because i think willa's . . . she seems so unassuming, but it's pretty clear that she can see right through everyone in the roy family. it's also really interesting to see her relationship with connor (who . . . like . . . yeah, at first i felt bad for him, but now i don't really like him because he's like. he's the type of person who thinks he's a good person, which makes some of his dickhead qualities that much worse. like, if you're a dickhead but know you're a dickhead like roman, that's slightly more endearing than being a dickhead and still thinking you're the Good Guy, which is what connor roy feels like to me). idk. willa honey pls date me instead <3333

oh, and i suppose for male characters, i lowkey love tom. like. he's insane. but i fucking love him. he's a pathetic bisexual man. he's my pathetic bisexual man. i want to rattle him around in a box. i want to punch his face but i also want to kiss his stupid forehead and tell him to actually talk to his wife. also, to figure out his feelings about cousin greg because tom sweetie . . . that's not how you talk to your crush <3 i love him. i thought he was the saner one in the roy family mess. i was so wrong. he's so stupid. i love him. i can't talk normally about him because every time he shows up on screen i just go "oh, MAN" really loudly because there's not a single boring moment with this stupid pathetic man

as for ships . . . tbh, i'm kind of a part of the "roy sibling x therapy" bandwagon, but if i want to be honest, i'm def. part of that crackhead energy of whatever's going on between tom and greg. because. like. are they insane? yeah. do i want them to make out and then kinda destroy each other? yeah. (no seriously because starting from episode one i was messaging one of my friends just screaming "WAIT SO THEY'RE REALLY LIKE THIS? STARTING AT EPISODE ONE?????" because what the fuck do u do with that energy.)

but on a more serious note, i think a part of me genuinely unironically likes the idea of tom and greg together because outside of their weird-ass energy, there's a sadder component to them in that like. it seems like tom's genuinely. lost around the roy family. like, i think shiv does love him--in whatever her definition of love might be--and greg genuinely loves shiv (distressed sad sounds), but also? but also, i think tom likes taking care of people, and more than that, i think tom needs someone who's genuinely sincere. shiv is absolutely . . . well .. . . . i love my girlboss gaslighting queen so much, but when i say sincere, i also mean someone who doesn't play in, like, 4d chess as a hobby, you know? i think tom might need someone like that in the long run, which breaks my heart because on the other hand, i also really pathetically adore

tom and shiv because okay okay okay they're also awful for each other, but i just. like. i'm weirdly so invested in their stupid awful marriage. a part of me wants them to be happy together. another part of me wants them to divorce because that might make them happier. a third part of me just wants them to keep up this funny weird marriage and now that it's an open marriage, tom can live his best "I Have Two Hands" life by being with shiv and greg--

but outside of that, tom and shiv just feel like a huge tragedy to me. i've been vaguely spoiled for season 3 (. . . . i have no idea what's up with the nero references, something something pushed his pregnant wife down the stairs?), so i'm already bracing myself, but oh god. i don't know, they just make me so sad, so sad because i think they both actually love each other but they also don't actually love each other but also they were happy at some point but also i don't think they're ever going to get that happiness back and AGGGGGH

i'm also weirdly digging kendall and stewy? like, i dunno. no one can break your heart quite as much as your best friend, and i think stewy genuinely cares about kendall. (and rava cares about kendall! i think i ship kendall with anyone who actually GENUINELY loves him, because i think kendall's different from his siblings in that . . . i think he has genuine people in his corner who actually give two shits about where his life goes? whereas it seems that roman doesn't have anyone except his siblings, which is a pretty volatile relationship, and shiv has tom, but we've already discussed how volatile that relationship is . . . idk, my heart always feels something for kendall whenever he's around stewy and/or rava. like! look at those people. they care about him! they're pissed off at him, but i think they're pissed off at him because they know he can do better or that he's capable of being better. pls kendall ditch your stupid family and either date stewy or work things out with rava and be a better dad idk dude just break the family cycle, you lame pathetic meow meow)

[lousimusician]

I Want You Back (Part 1)

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: Peter was too blind to realize you were slipping from his fingers.

Word Count: 1,145

Warning: Angst (This series is gonna have lots of angst, just so you know)

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

When I had you to myself, I didn't want you around

Those pretty faces always made you stand out in a crowd 

~~~~~~~

You were young and inexperienced when it came to dating but you did know one thing.

It wasn't supposed to be this hard.

You shouldn't have to feel like you were constantly fighting for any kind of attention. And if that made you sound clingy, so be it. It still wasn't right. 

Peter Parker. The love of your life.

Or at least, you thought.

The boy who tried so hard to ask you out, coming up with plan after plan to get you alone and finally tell you how he felt, had been ignoring you and you had no idea as to why.

You knew he was Spider-Man. You knew he had responsibilities. You knew that and most of all you understood it. You'd let him leave dates or cancel them if he had to. Especially after the blip, things were a mess and the people needed a hero more than ever.

But you're patience was really being tried when he decided not to show up without telling you, letting you wait for hours just to hear half-assed apologies after.

And with every unread text, unanswered phone call, to even the times you had to compete for his attention in school, you felt your heart break a little more.

And especially right now, laying on Peter's bed for about two hours, your phone held loosely to your ear as you listened to Peter's voice mail for the twelfth time that night. You felt your heart break that much more.

You didn't leave a voice mail. You don't anymore. He never checked them anyway. With a sniffle, you hung up the phone, and fought back the tears you knew would fall regardless.

It shouldn't be this hard.

You sat up on his bed, and glanced out the window, seeing the night sky. And with a sigh, you decided you finally had enough and stood up, wiping at your eyes.

With slow movements you grabbed your bag off the ground and walked out of his bedroom.

"May?" You called out. 

"In here sweetie!" She yelled from the kitchen.

"Hey." You greeted, seeing how she was in the middle of making dinner. "So, I think I'm just gonna head out now."

May frowned, "Still nothing from him?"

You looked down at your feet, as you felt fresh tears building up, and shook your head. You hated crying in front of May, especially when her nephew was the cause of it.

"Oh honey." She said sadly and you knew she could tell you were trying not to cry. "Come here." She walked over to you and pulled you into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry, I really don't know what's gotten into him lately."

You wrapped your arms around her, as the tears started to fall. "I just-  I miss h-him." You sobbed, as May ran a comforting hand up and down your back.

"I know, sweetheart, I know. I'm gonna talk to him-"

You shook your head. "No, please don't. It's fine I swear." You muttered as you pulled away from her.

May's frown deepened as she looked at you, wiping frantically at your tears. She sighed. "...Alright. But I hate seeing you so upset."

You nodded. "I'm...yeah, I'm just gonna go now. Thanks May." You said as you started heading towards the front door.

"Walk home safe!" She called after you, and you hummed in response.

You shut the door behind you as you pulled out your phone and quickly dialled MJ'S number. It rang three times before she picked up.

"Hell-"

"You were right." You sniffled into the phone, cutting her off.

"Are you crying?"

"...Just a little. But you were r-right. He didn't show a-again. And I called him like twenty times a-and I've left even more texts b-but he won't respond, he keeps doing this to me and I don't know what t-to do anymore." You rambled, getting into the elevator.

MJ sighed. "You're not gonna like what I have to say."

"I usually don't." You lightly laughed, trying to feel any other emotion than the intense heart break you did feel at the moment.

"I think you either need to sit down and talk about it with him or just break up. He's been doing this to you for months now and you're miserable."

"Yeah." You sniffled, "I didn't like what you had to say... b-but I'll think about it." You mumbled, before saying your goodbye's and hanging up.

~

Peter sat perched on top of a roof on one of the many buildings in Queens, just waiting for someone to save or a criminal to stop.

Peter didn't know what time it was, he usually didn't when he was out on patrol, all he knew was that it must've been late and he knew he was forgetting something but he couldn't figure out what.

He had his phone in hand, quickly typing out an essay he had left to the last minute again.

"Karen, give me a synonym for impulsive."

"Impetuous, rash, hasty-" Karen's voice was suddenly cut off by a ringing. "(Y/N) is calling again, should I decline it?"

Peter groaned, "Again? Yeah you can decline it, and can you put her on mute."

"Yes."

"Thanks." Peter mumbled, finishing the sentence he had been stuck on for the last seven minutes.

"Peter?" He hummed in response. "Are you still dating (Y/N)?"

 "What? Of course I am." Peter mumbled.

"Really? Then why do you keep declining her phone calls and ignoring her text messages?" Karen asked.

Peter shrugged, "I dunno. She's been a little clingy since the blip. Which I get, but Queens still needs saving. Don't worry I'll make it up to her somehow." He said, furiously typing away on his keyboard.

"But there are no threats right now." Karen said skeptically.

"Might be... I just don't want to not be here when a threat does come along. But me and (Y/N) are fine, she understands my responsibilities. Hey, what were the major themes of Hamlet again?"

"Madness, Revenge, Religion, would you like me to list more?"

"No that's fine." The sun had been setting, and the roof was getting more and more uncomfortable. Peter sighed, "That should be good for now, I'll finish this later." He said, putting his phone away and getting up.

He stretched, before swinging away on a web to see if he could find anything to do.

Peter would eventually look back on this moment, wondering if he had just been a little smarter and answered the call, maybe just maybe he could've saved your relationship from crumbling in the weeks that followed.

~~~~~~~

Oh darlin' I was blind to let you go

_________________

A/N: I'm not too happy with how this came out, but it is just mostly set up for the parts to come which will definitely be even more angsty and interesting

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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[four-loose-screws]

What would you rank all the fire emblem games that you have played.

Thank you for waiting, anon! This essay is finally finished! XD I don’t know if either of us ever intended for this to end up so long, but it did.

It’s interesting to see how each person experiences each game, so I hope everyone enjoys reading this. If anyone wants to ask questions for more details or just for conversation, please do!

I did a tier grouping ranking as well as ordering from bottom -> top, because that helped explain my feelings a little better. This isn’t really reflecting my nostalgia or personal feelings for the characters/world quite as much as “how much fun I had in my initial playthrough(s).” Because I think that’s what these sorts of lists are generally asking for.

First, I’d like to make a general statement about why I love FE games so much: Well, most simply it’s because I have more fun playing FE than any other series. That much is obvious though, right? I also love them because they all stand out in their own way, with their own unique combination of features, and because they are all super ambitious titles. It may lead to some rushing and half-baked ideas, but ambition is what excites me the most in any series. Even if the creators are not able to fully realize the ideas they had, the hard work still wows me as I play, and I can see hints of the full vision they had in every nook and cranny. Even the lowest games on this list are pretty high up there for me in fun level. The “fun but flawed” games just had glaring issues that interrupted the fun from time to time.

...FEs 1 & 3 are overall exceptions to the “unique and standing out rule,” being early games in the series; and FE6 set up post-Famicom FE, so it’s pretty basic, too - but they still get their own awards for setting a solid foundation for a fun video game series that withstands the test of time.

I can’t fully explain it, why I attached to FE the most over all other game series out there. But when I play FE, I usually don’t think about what’s not so great about the games. I just have fun. The gameplay always has me thinking, and I get engrossed in the stories and unlocking convos and supports.

Basic Tier

These games are really hard to judge properly in the ranking system, because they are just so basic for the series.

FE1 / FE11

When FE11 came out, I remember it getting so much flack for being really, really boring. But I didn’t get that. I like FE gameplay and storytelling at its core, so I don’t need the bells and whistles to have a good time. I knew this is where the series started, and was surprised with what content there was considering this is a remake of a game on the Famicom (NES).

FE1 set a very solid foundation for what the core of the series would be. Load it up next to a modern game, and it feels so the same and different all at once. I’ve only played a little bit of FE1 itself. I just can’t get through it because FE11 is SO similar to FE1, so you really only have to play one to get the whole experience. I didn’t feel like playing the same game over again at the time, so FE1 is still on my unfinished list.

Basic, solid foundation for the ages / 10

FE3 / FE12

After FE11 played it “safe” and took an “upgraded graphics with a few new ideas tacked on” approach, I was blown away by how much FE12 did, even if it was more for worse than better sometimes. It added so many conversations, was the first to tinker with the idea of a more fleshed out Avatar, added more story… and so on.

From what I’ve read recently, the new story stuff isn’t that great, but I don’t remember now. I’ve only played this game once. Overall, despite some clunk with the giant maps and so on, this game really challenged itself to improve from FE11, and it’s how I learned to love remakes that aren’t afraid to deviate from and add a lot to the original!

Set the stage for what kind of fun and ambition an FE remake could have / 10

FE3 is way more of a classic than any of us in the West can truly understand. It sold insanely well (the best in the series until Awakening I believe?), challenged the programmers to put FE1 on the cart as well, long before re-releases were a thing in the industry, and the game even made it to the Super Famicom Mini! I haven’t played it yet because again, it’s hard to get the motivation to play through the slow speed and clunkiness when I’ve already experienced the remake, but I’m looking forward to it some day.

The good ol’ days of the Super Famicom & SNES / 10

FE6

This was the first game without Kaga (the series original creator), so it set the stage for a future without him. The series might have strayed far from his plans for story and such, but this game, while it was pretty basic, firmly established a new foundation for the series on a new system, and gave a glimpse of what greatness the future had in store.

Overall though, this game is harder to commit to memory than others, except for classic characteristics like how terrible Roy is until, finally, BAM he gets his sword in the final stretches of the game; and running in circles from Douglas so you can avoid fighting him and successfully recruit him after the chapter.

Awkward, but sets a solid foundation for post-Kaga and post-Famicom FE / 10

Fun But Flaws Distracted From The Fun A Lot Tier

FE16

I really, really hate to say it, because this game tries to mix up the FE formula with the school setting and other new features and changes, and brought in a good mix of old and new, just like all the other FE games. But this game left very little impact on me for such a big experience. And I’m leaving out the fact that trying to play all four routes is dull as heck when I place the game this low. I’m basing it off of just how much I enjoyed the first playthrough.

Overall, I was most turned off by the class system. Which is funny, because I’ve seen others praise this as FE’s best class system. Everyone’s different. Classic classes like troubadours are just gone. The top tier classes are super limiting. Of course, you can just stop one tier down, but that’s not emotionally satisfying to me - I want my characters to reach the top! Despite having such free choice, I feel more limited than anything. If they’d just stopped at 4 tiers and not tried to go to 5, I think that would have been best. They had to stretch out the available classes too much to get to 5. ...Although being able to have an army of dragon riders is awesome, I’ll give it that. Dragons are too cool. 

I was also really disappointed by the story. Fire Emblem has established that it can write a really emotional plot, and not be afraid to pull punches, with games like 4 and 8. I was expecting a huge contrast between part 1, where everyone is friends and classmates, and part 2, where war rips them apart, transforms them into different people, and forces them to brutally slaughter each other.

But in reality…the hate between Dimitri and Edelgard has nothing to do with the school at all… That was jarring to me. Of course there is no one right direction to take a story in. But the worldbuilding and story writing… feels even less coherent than Fates. That’s an accomplishment.

This is the one time I say ambition was really just too much. The game didn’t get enough polish. A game about the seasons doesn’t even have seasonal differences...

While my friends who don’t usually play Fire Emblem have had a fantastic experience with this one, after all I’ve been through, I found that I liked other FE’s more.

I think the best part about this game is the characters and supports. After Fates had a ton of supports in it just because it had to have them, the creators of this game weren’t afraid to change up the support formula once more, so they could balance quality and quantity. ...And then, ironically, this game went for the (almost entirely) mute, personality-less avatar character. Funny how that works out. XD

Dragon Lord Army Go! / 10

FE14

I feel this game deserves way more credit than it gets, while also agreeing with the critiques. The ambition was as great as ever. But then it got stuck in development hell and we got what we got. (For those who don’t know, the team was divided in two - the team that wanted a more fanservic-y experience, and the one that wanted to make a standard FE.)

I think the gameplay is the best part of this game, Conquest is great, and the gimmicks are indeed gimmicks, but still fun. In offering three different experiences, the entire package will please few, but that was the point of the multiple routes, to give everyone one route they would like, not to please everyone with all three.

But beyond the gameplay, the story is all over the place, the multiple routes just create more questions than answers; and features like an increased number of support convos and children feel like they are there only because of a desire to bring back “popular” features. After multiple food/cooking supports in a row, I couldn’t take it any more. There was so little that the characters were actually talking about in their supports vs. Awakening. I generally feel that more supports = better, because character interaction through supports is of course a highlight of post-Famicom FE, but in this case, the numbers did not do any favors.

Bringing back weapons that don’t break didn’t feel well done, either. I just ended up using basic weapons the whole time because I didn’t want to deal with the drawbacks of the higher level weapons.

Back to a positive for me: The hub world was neat, though it needed some convoluted story writing to be included. I was amused by going through the different features and collecting the items. I agree with Nintendo of America taking out the “petting minigame,” but since I lived in Japan when Fates released, it was amusing to do on the train and weird out the bored Japanese people who peered over my shoulder.

Since all three routes were different, this game was fun enough until the end in comparison to Three Houses, of which I am STILL trying to slog through the last route one year after release. But Fates was made for every route to be different, whereas Three Houses was not, so it’s not surprising I feel like that.

But time for the real talk about this game… why is everyone’s HP so low??? What happened?????

Up and down and all around in quality from start to finish / 10

FE15

I really want to like this game more. Oh, do I. It’s absolutely GORGEOUS, the character art makes my heart skip a beat, the game proved that full voice acting does fit FE really well, it fleshed out things like the dungeon crawling & story, and added support conversations & skills, etc. while still staying kind of basic, retaining the feeling that the original was on the NES. The momentum for the fun and ambition that an FE remake could have transitioned well from FE12 to here and led to this being a stunningly presented game.

But the creators totally missed the point on what were the defining features of the game in my opinion, and that mismatch of vision ruined a lot for me. I loved the imbalance, struggling as I placed my units in corners of maps just to survive, until I obtained all those OP items, and my super soldiers marched into battle and did wild and amazing things. Valbar with +5 move and 40 speed with the Speed Ring is the one thing I remember the best of FE2 and oh man was it fun, and did I love it.

And I mean, I understand why the creators weren’t going to keep that imbalance, it doesn’t make the game good for everyone. It’s just something I found fun, and made the game stand out among the other FEs. But the developers really just replaced old imbalance with new imbalance, the dread fighters being the one thing I remember in particular.

And they defined FE2’s best defining features as “the maps and the terrain effects” and I just did not agree. That was the stuff I DISLIKED about FE2! And that’s what they wanted to keep most? The terrain that made battles one giant miss, and the gigantic maps where I’d spend half the time just getting to the enemies? No thanks.

Then the story only cranked up the horrible treatment of the women, with Faye… being Faye, and I hated the direction they went in with Celica’s story...  Ugh.

For every step or two forward, there’s one back / 10

FE10

FE games are always ambitious, but this one cranked the dial up to 10 and tripped over itself a lot. Still, it provided (even if it is info dumped) an intense and satisfying ending to the Tellius saga, and is another classic for the ages. I found the pacing boring and slow until then, though.

I think now that I’m older I can appreciate the story much, much more - and how it shows the story and aftermath of the Mad King’s War from multiple points of view -  but the lack of the support conversations, and too much going on for any aspect of this game to be properly refined, still make this one lower on my list.

If only I could have played it more than once, to really get a good memory of the events of the game. My Wii actually scratched up my disk (How this happened, I don’t know, and it’s the ONLY disk my Wii ever slaughtered). It only held out long enough for my sibling and I to enjoy one playthrough each. I’ll get to playing my Japanese copy eventually!

Part 4 = Laguz Royals Emblem / 10

Somewhere Inbetween Tier

FE5

The last of the Kaga games. Still clunky and difficult, but with it’s own super unique features in capturing, stamina, and stealing weapons.

The brokenness of staves is not at all a flaw, but a feature in my opinion. Encouraging bizarre thinking and finding new ways to plow through maps is fun. I would probably be critical if this was a modern game, but I think older games need these quirks to stand out among modern titles with better graphics and decades of gaming history behind them.

And you still can complete the maps in a more traditional manner if you are determined. I did even for Reinhardt’s map.

Also, I gotta say... I don’t agree that this is the most difficult FE overall… it just has the hardest individual maps. The difficulty spikes are all over the place. The game goes from bashing your head against a wall to snoozefest constantly.

Fog of war was a mistake though, if I was a time traveler, I’d go back and make sure the programmers never figured out how to include it. XD

Steal ALL the tomes! / 10

FE13

Experiencing this game and its release in real time was an experience. The fandom really, truly thought this game might not only be the last FE ever, but also that it might not get a localization. Thinking there would never be a localization, I spent a night of my first trip to Japan buying a Japanese 3DS and a copy of the game. I only had 2 weeks on that study tour, but I was so determined that I used some of my precious free time to go shopping for it. To afford it, I even used the money my college gave to me for food, then subsided off of cheap convenience store meals with what little I had left. I barely had any true understanding of Japanese at the time, but I wanted other fans to experience this game, so I worked as hard as I could to translate as many supports as I could. This game is why I got into translation, and was what I really thought might be the end, so it will always have a special place in my heart for that.

Now to actually talk about playing the game itself. I really enjoyed it the first couple of times. Who cares that pair-up and the kids were OP, you either blast through the game with them and have a good laugh, or ignore them, set some challenging rules, and enjoy having at least a little challenge. I didn’t care much that the supports were a little lower quality because of the sheer number of them, I eagerly awaited unlocking each one, and reading what the two characters would talk about. (We fans have fanfiction to turn to if we hunger for more development. :p) The bonus content was plentiful, and a great fanservice-y way to bring the series to a close.

After all is said and done though, the game left me feeling empty when I thought about replaying it any further. The maps and story felt empty in comparison to previous games. Now that it’s been 8 years since the initial release, I’d of course enjoy a replay or two, but after having played FEs7-9 5 or 6 times in a row before moving on to the next game… anything less than that level of excitement was surprising for me. I placed this game kinda high on the list because it’s fun when you play it. It’s just doesn’t have as much replay value, I feel.

Also, as a group, the children characters are my favorite in the series. They all come from deeply traumatic backgrounds, and the way they work through that trauma and navigate being given a second chance, but also not a true second chance because this timeline is different from their own, is endlessly fascinating for me. I don’t know if other fans give them enough credit, so I wanted to point them out in particular.

Would have been a fantastic way to send off the series, despite the flaws / 10

FE2

This game is flawed, imbalanced, makes me want to throw things, and it’s all, somehow, in a way that makes me LOVE IT. ...So long as I’m playing using an emulator with a speed up button.

This game is so hard, and the hit percentages are such garbage. But as I played, and unlocked more and more OP weapons and items, until I reached a point where the zombie dragons - what once took all my efforts - were an enemy that can easily be slaughtered in 1-on-1 combat... I felt so satisfied.

Old games need some kind of charm to make them still worth revisiting in a world of much better graphics and features that have now had decades to be refined. For me, this game has that perfect kind of quirky charm in spades.

The maps and terrain though… I have no words, just bash your head into the wall and you will understand how I feel.

Also, this game reminds me of Zelda 2 in it being a black sheep of its respective series… that’s a fun little nugget of info.

Duma’s sprite / 10

FE7

I don’t remember this game as well, despite it being one that I’ve played about 5 times? I don’t know why, it’s yet another fantastic Fire Emblem with its own ways that it stands out, managing not one, not two, but three lords, introducing the tactician, and so on. Guess time has just not been kind to my memory on this one.

I remember being really impressed with the length of this game back in the day, and Hector’s mode offering enough differences to make it totally fun to replay the main game again.

Lyn gets kind of pushed to the side (because that’s what generally happens to women main characters in Fire Emblem, if there’s a male lord around), but having the three lords was really fun. With three people, you get a great balance between all of their personalities, and they all play off of each other well.

Of course I loved Lyn and Hector, most everyone does, but I was always just as much of an Eliwood fan. His average stats pushed people away from liking him as much as the others, but I always looked up to his kindness. Eliwood / Ninian was an especially favorite pairing for my sappy teenage heart. Eliwood was just so romantic and sweet to me.

And though the game was made easier with international audiences in mind, the developers hadn’t invented all of the “easier/for convenience” features yet, so this is the last time we got to enjoy some “harder” features like needing to buy weapons during battles, and a convoy separate from the main lord. That’s cool if you like that stuff.

Unlocking the paralogues is hard though / 10

Favorites Tier

FE8

When it comes to FE8, while there’s plenty to like about the gameplay (despite the game being so easy, but again, like I said with Awakening, you can just set your own challenge rules), what I really love to ramble on about is the story and its emotional impact. Lyon is so precious and kind, but has so many inner conflicts stewing deep inside of him, leading him to elder magics, and… The Demon King is just ends up as a sideshow compared to Lyon coming face to face with his own demons. Both the characters - and many players, I’m sure - hope and hope to find a way to save him, but there just isn’t one. There are never any real leads. There’s nothing. Only the harrowing reality that some people cannot be saved, no, that some people do not want to be saved. The inevitability of Lyon’s demise, and seeing it all play out, packs a punch most plots can only dream of.

But it’s not like I won’t talk about the gameplay features either. Bringing back much of the best of FE2, the overworld map and everything to do really enhances the experience. I mean, yeah, I guess two side dungeons isn’t that much to get excited over, I can see that critique… but I didn’t care, it allowed me to easily chase support conversations, and (with some RNG abusing to obtain enough Boots and money to buy the stat-boosting items, but hey, whatever it takes) I could max out my characters’ stats and truly “complete” a Fire Emblem game.

Sacred Stones is so awesome.

Finally! A postgame! I sure hope the developers keep this up in all the future games… oh. / 10

FE9

This is the first FE game I ever played, so it will always occupy the most dear and special place in my heart, even if FE4 eventually won over as my favorite.

Do you believe in first sight? I do, and this is what taught me it’s real. From the first second of the first cutscene, I was enthralled. ...And that’s saying something, when the FE9 cutscenes are the kind of thing only a mother could love. But I just knew. I may have been a wee lass of 14, but I knew a love that would last a lifetime was being born. ...Or that would at least last 14 more years. I can’t predict the future. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and hate Fire Emblem with a burning passion? 2020 has taught me that tomorrow is always a big fat question mark.

Fun fact: in case you are wondering exactly what inspired my very initial interest in this series, it was a TV commercial. Probably this one. I just remember Ike running, of all things. My sibling and I both thought FE9 looked interesting from this commercial, and sought out the game all on our own with zero private knowledge that anything FE even existed.

This is where obsessions are born. Or mine at least. / 10 

FE4

As I’ve established, this is my favorite of favorites. The bizarre way money, arenas, items, and more were handled, actually made the game more and more fun for me. Big maps are just so fun. Gen 1’s story is a tale for the ages, and Gen 2’s story is… well, classic FE, which never gets old for me. It will never cease to amaze me even today what the SNES/S Famicom could handle.

All I’d want added is a “warp between conquered castles” feature. I’m completely neutral on a remake otherwise. Of course a lot more could be added and detailed upon that I’d be happy for, but that’s my one specific wish.

Calvary Emblem Forever / 10

Bonus:

FEH

I played this game every day for around 2 ½ years before I finally felt I had to break the habit, so I’m not leaving it out! This title got a lot of flack for simplifying FE gameplay, but… looking at it that way completely disregards the niche app games fill, and the interesting ways developers view what type of games app games should be, and how the developers work hard to both innovate for the format yet stay faithful to the source. It is surprisingly deep, and the maps + higher focus on unit skills make you think entirely differently about how to win in what is, in essence, the same gameplay as the main series.

Plus, what fan couldn’t get suckered into the fanservice of it? My best moments include attaining a +10 Nephenee while only spending money to get 2 of her, the other 9 were all F2P orbs; and becoming a Narcian/Valter shipper after supporting them on impulse because they were both on my flier team, and realizing the sick, twisted chemistry afterwards. Discovering rare-pairs is fun.

Also, finally, this game dared to nerf magic users a bit by making them RNG 2 only. If only the main series could do something like that.

I really enjoyed Heroes a lot, I just quit solely because it was a time drain. It was time to move on and play other things. And I’m glad I got out when I did. Seeing the game stoop to over-the-top powercreep (above and beyond what it was always implementing) and add the monthly service to keep the $$$$$ raking in was hard to watch.

Perfect app-style game gameplay-wise and fanservice-wise, but why aren’t gacha illegal yet / 10

FE Warriors

Oh yeah, this game exists too! It’s a Warriors game. If you like the formula and it never gets old for you, you’ll have fun with this game. If you don’t mind the limited game representation too much, you’ll have fun with this game. For me, the answers to those questions were a yes, so I enjoyed FE Warriors. Yay for wailing on hordes of enemies / 10

[thefledglingdm]

7, 37 & 38, please! 💕

aaaaaaaaaaa thank you!!!!! these are SO POSITIVE, thank you for sending this after a v stressful day bc i am an anxious child. this got a little (very) long so the answer is below the cut!!!! thank you again!!!!!! 💖💖💖💖

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

oh there are SO MANY parts of once that i am incredibly proud of???? like that’s one of the best pieces i’ve written in a long time. it was hard to pick, but i think the moment riza realizes she’s truly in love with roy is my favorite in that work:

She inhaled, breath shaky. She needed to get herself back under control. “But you are about to do something reckless. Something wrong. I swore to protect you the day I agreed to work with you. That’s why I’m here. That’s why I’m pointing a gun at your head.” Damn it, damn it, her hand was starting to shake and her voice crack and she needed to be stronger than this. Every breath was agony when she said, “This is pure hatred, and I will not let it take you.”

You will not, Riza vowed. She spoke it to the universe. She would spit in God’s face if They came down to try and argue with her.

You will not have him. You cannot take him. You will not take the man I love.

And of course, of course that’s the moment she knew what this was. That she gave in and stopped denying and pretending. Riza Hawkeye loved Roy Mustang with every fiber of her being, with everything that she was, and that knowledge settled over her like a blanket and yet changed nothing because she had loved him for years. It was as if she had been looking at all of her memories through a filter, and now with the haze gone she can see the sharpness of the lines and brilliance of the colors and she loved him, she loved him, she loved him.

i just. *jenny slate scream.* the pain. the love. the drama and angst of realizing that she loved him and didn’t want to live without him at the exact moment she was closest to losing him forever (literally and metaphorically), which is then mirrored by roy in the next scene???? i’m weak.

37. Talk about your current wips.

ok there are 2 big ones. the flame-witch and deadshot, my role-reversal FMAB fic, which is just. i’m sorry i haven't updated it i’m at this really frustrating writer’s block where i KNOW what happens next, i just don’t know how we GET there exactly. there are so many things i can’t wait to SHOW YOU ALL because there were some questions that i had after watching the series that weren’t answered, that we are going to dive into and answer together. also the what-ifs spiraled out and i just. what would a riza raised by a lone berthold look like? how would that affect how she saw the world? what if roy was a sniper wouldn’t that be sexy? how would riza react to ishval? how would she build her team, what would happen? how would she and roy build this incredible trust and friendship and fall in love if they don’t have the history of growing up together? because they WILL fall in love have no fear.

i also can’t write about the flame-witch without giving a shout-out to @royaidaydreams, who is the editor and the wall i bounce ideas off of who usually bounces better things back at me. she is so awesome and amazing and i really really appreciate all the work she’s done in making that fic what it is!!!! (she’s also just really sweet & cool)

and THEN there’s the blood runs stale, which is a hunter x hunter vigilante au. which is just pouring out of me rn because i am at the whims of my muse, sorry. sweet, sexy, pining kurapika who is a badass with a heart of gold who turns into a marshmallow when he sees the tall glass of water that is dr. leorio paladiknight. it’s fun and cheesy and campy and the found family is real. i also want to write another leopika that is straight-up the opposite and is the long-winded, mutual-pining, slow-burn, enemies-to-friends-to-lovers campy smut fest. so look out for that bullshit.

what i’m learning is i love writing about trauma? ok that sounds weird and shitty but like. i think stories and writing can be a cathartic release and a means for people to see themselves in a story, and by reading about/watching someone else heal, they can begin to do so, too. (though that’s not for everyone and that’s super valid/important!) i work in a really high-emotional-octane field, and i think the ways that people heal and move on from trauma - in the good, bad, messy, “weird,” complicated, ugly ways - are endlessly fascinating to read about and discuss because trauma is not pretty and i don’t want to romanticize it, but i want to write stories for whom people can see that anyone can heal from what they’ve been through and find something a bit better at the end of it? a fic i once read had a line that read “isn’t the point of working so things get better that they actually get better?” and that literally changed my life. griftings if you’re out there i love you. but yeah those are my wips

38. Talk about a review that made your day.

truly? all of them. any of them. if you so much as breathed on my fics i lost my mind. thank you so much. 

but ummmm. yours, miss firewood-figs, are always lovely!!!! and so sweet!!!!! as is @kallutozoldyck whose reviews are always highly anticipated and just so very nice and aaaaaaa? aaaa!!!! 

but also the user MissSteph22 sent me a gif (YOU CAN ADD GIFS TO AO3 REVIEWS!!!!!) in their very essay review for and i’ve been so lost without you (are you lost without me, too?) which made me cry??? 

honestly tho if you’ve ever clicked on something i wrote i face-planted into my pillow and yelled thank you ALL. sorry again this was so long i hope this doesn’t come across as self-absorbed thank you for reading and this ask and aaaaaaa!!!!!

[yaraaflor]

Character Ask: Richard John Grayson-Wayne aka Nightwing

ah my one true love

first impression: my first exposure to dick was the teen titans animated show so like that version of him was my first impression. its not a totally inaccurate portrayal but i did get the sense that he was super serious all the time and had anger issues, however i still liked his character. he was a good leader and friend.

impression now: i mean dick is just such a dynamic, multi-layered character. theres so much i could say about him but i really feel like i understand him more now, how kind and generous he is, how smart, what a good leader he is, how he pushes himself to the limit and really doesnt give a damn about himself sometimes. i feel like i relate to him on many levels and thats probably why hes my fave but. i also think hes just as close to perfect as a man can get. like he has flaws but above all his goodness shines through.

favorite moment: theres so many scenes of his i love but. that issue where he and donna reunite and talk about stuff and then they get almost robbed so he beats the guys up and is showing off in front of donna is so cute i cant stand it. shows what a dork he is at the same time as showing what a good friend he is.

idea for a story: i really wanna see dick donna kory and roy grow into the polycule they were meant to be, i wanna see how dick and roy fall in love but roy still loves donna and dick still loves kory, and the same is true for donna and kory. i wanna see how they all live close to each other and how they coparent lian and mar’i and maybe have more kids. i wanna see dick and donna being the platonic soulmates of the century. i wanna see donna and kory’s wedding where dick cries through his best man speech. i wanna see them live their best lives. i would write it myself but honestly, i dont think i would do them justice. also it would be 100% fluff if i wrote it.

unpopular opinion: i hate, hate, hate the court of owls storyline. i detest it and i especially detest dick’s part in it. i think it’s stupid, i think it’s overdramatic to the extreme, and i think it detracts from dick’s character a lot. it ruins his relationship with haly’s circus. i could really write an essay on how turning dick’s relationship with gotham into one that was pre-determined by an secret evil society completely detracts from his independence and choices as a human being. i wont go into detail but i hate it. i refuse to interact with any content that depicts dick as a talon.

favorite relationship: when it comes down to it it’s gotta be either dick and donna or dick and dami. i think dick and donna wins out for me bc they are truly the ideal platonic couple and i am wildly jealous.

favorite headcanon: this is a sad one but robbie long was named after him (u know how the titans called robin “robbie”) and he was robbie’s godfather. :( he was so upset when he died 

[nomanwalksalone]

BOOK REVIEW: DANDYSMES

by Réginald-Jérôme de Mans

Who better to discuss dandyism than Massimiliano Mocchia di Coggia, the cover star of 2013’s I Am Dandy: The Return of the Elegant Gentleman? If only one could have judged that book by its cover! In Dandysmes, the art historian and esthete (and writer for Dandy magazine, another credential) displays the intellectual finesse and historical sensibility that Rose Callahan’s earlier picture book, with its indiscriminate inclusion of grifters, cosplayers and bigoted creeps, lacked entirely. 

There’s a danger in our latter-day dandy syncretism: the rolling of anyone who dresses in flashy or anachronistic jackets and sportcoats into a loaf of the indigestible and incoherent.  By its title, Dandysmes acknowledges various different types of dandies, and different conceptions of the dandy, all seen through the prism of Beau Brummell, the putative dandy zero.  

There are multiple and multifarious dandyisms, all with values Brummell probably never intended.  His intentions, if not his actions, seemed to lack any political component, contrary to the philosophy Baudelaire imputed to the dandy, a liminal and decadent figure.  Brummell’s dress was restrained, but not conservative: contrary to the retrophilic and reactionary motives of certain modern dandies, Brummell’s styles drastically changed contemporary fashion, in fact making it far more casual, a trend those dandies of today decry.  

Brummell was a male thirst trap, a fairly close parent of today’s obnoxious Instagram influencers in creating dramatic hyperbolic vignettes like inviting his admirers to watch him getting dressed in the morning (a commoner’s version of the lever du roi).  He encouraged the most excessive legends about his rigor (such as having different makers for the thumbs of his gloves and the rest of his gloves, polishing his boots with champagne, or going through piles of cravats in the morning before knotting one successfully).  Later dandies favored excess itself rather than that excessive rigor: Count d’Orsay and Disraeli were famous for being decadent fops; Oscar Wilde favored velvets and other flamboyant materials Brummell had spurned for broadcloth; Boni de Castellane (who probably would have rejected the title of dandy out of hand) was an ultraconservative aristocrat who literally made his living off of the privileges of his noble birth.  Mocchia de Coggiola cites them all in his essays.

What he does right is to acknowledge the subversiveness of dandyism, even if he never goes so far as to acknowledge the necessarily political nature of dandyism, indeed of any different style of dress than the unremarkable.  Dandies are those who stand out, at least superficially through the styles of dress they have appropriated and recontextualized from different classes, places or times.  Mocchia di Coggiola recognizes that dandyism today turns Brummell’s old dictum upside down: dandies are those who today’s John Bulls would turn around seeing in the street. 

He provides us a fun repertory those dandy-adjacent fops who fail at elegance, such as the gagà, a dandy’s country cousin, and the retro-eccentric, so obsessed with returning to an imagined old order that they rebuild a synthetic, polyester version.  

The author falls rather wide of the mark in his describing American dandies.  He admits the Anglophilic, Italian remove of his point of view in his chapters on the English gentleman and the upper-class Oxford Hunt Ball, which even still undersells the worship in those pages. Writing so intelligent yet somehow evades the why of how the British look took hold (Waterloo and the shattering of French power, the triumph of Industrial Revolution bourgeoisie – and clothing for convenience -- over entrenched aristocracy; the reach of the British mercantile and colonial empire that brought Indian cotton to Manchester and Australian wool to Bradford…) and the persistence of systems of privilege that still allow the insulation of the most favored and often least deserving to continue what is now, despite Brummell, indulgent costume… And just like the politics of clothing, Mochia di Coggiola often describes yet refuses to admit how today all elegance is costume. 

Mocchia di Coggiola comes so close to recognizing this costumery over and over, notably in an interview with Giancarlo Maresca, the founder of the Italian men’s style club Noveporte, that opens with a young lady dumbfoundedly asking a party of dinner-jacketed Noveporte members if they were filming a movie… Like far inferior clothing authors, he occasionally imputes to the well-dressed or well-born unrelated qualities of intelligence, eloquence and good character. 

Through Brummell’s prism, we see different things, apparently: squinting hard enough blinds some to affectation and costume.  Dandysmes is an interesting, entertaining visit to various types of dandies and their habitats.  Ultimately a thoughtful reader should come to the conclusion that its author refrains from: getting dressed like we thought about it can make someone stand out today, even if Mocchia di Coggiola’s dandies are expected to think about other things too.  Alas, we can’t impute the intelligence of that thought from someone’s dress or the eloquence and pedigree of the words they use and quote.

[multsicorn]

What are your top three favorite ships (relationships or friendships) at the moment?

At the moment! That’s a good question (thank you)....

Number one has definitely gotta be Jack/Parse, from Check Please. I can’t believe I’ve been obsessed with this ship for almost three years now! ... and I’ve got a discord where I talk about it more days than not. As to why, ugh, there’s an essay that I keep writing in my head about that... maybe tomorrow I’ll take a break from being almost done (any day) finishing my writing tools and actually write it instead. That’d be fun. Cause the thing about Failing At Life, you see....

Number two as of this week is Flint/Silver (though I believe the usual order is SilverFlint? but anyway) from Black Sails. Friendship? Relationship? Neither really applies to these two, exactly, but I’m very much a fan of something that in many ways resembles a relationship while keeping the shifting balance of power struggle and uncertainty of trust that they have in canon. Which is after all, what I find appealing. Everything from ‘in my head, you are not welcome’ to Flint shooting his own protection... jesus, it’s a lot. I love ships dancing on that thin line between enemies and everything else. (This is the other ship, btw, that I’ve been reading on ao3).

Third!... I don’t have a single good answer, so I’m going to cheat. (Don’t I always tend to do that? Ask me for three things, you’ll get seven. Or none. Cause I got overwhelmed by the seven. But, um, anyway.)

A couple of ships from things I’ve watched now/recently.

Third, cause I do spend more time thinking about it, cause I watched the series over a longer period of time (I do not like the current trend for binge tv... but that’s another post), and cause it has SONGS to listen to/watch forever, is Pearl/Rose from Steven Universe. (Rose/Pearl? idk.) “do it for her! that’s how you know you can win -“... I could quote every line of that song and write an essay just on it too but I will Not. (uh. maybe later. if anyone wants). Anyway - yeah - sure - the Pink Diamond reveal changed a lot of stuff - I really was into the original knight-and-lady dynamic, along with all the added great queerness/weirdness of how gems do things, and the complications of ‘I’ve got to be there for her son’ (also a wonderful! song!!! lol I love musicals). But I’m never gonna say no to adding fucked-up power dynamics in an angsty backstory. Who do you think I am.

And, fourth... Allison & Vanya (or possibly Allison/Vanya? I’m not definitively opposed) from The Umbrella Academy. ... The thing with the ordering here is that while I spend more time, I am sure, thinking about Rose/Pearl, I am more likely to read, and to read about, Vanya and Allison. So. ~shrug emoji~? And - the thing there - this is exactly what I said when liveblogging the show, I’m not sure I can be more specific - is “he made me his accomplice,” is “you left” - “I didn’t want to leave *you*”. I. just. okay. I did not grow up in an academy for superheroes, obviously, because those don’t real, but the way this show depicted a group of people dealing with their shared fucked-up childhood and family, was very extremely excessively #relateable to me, and Vanya and Allison most of all. That book! All those deliberate (and sometimes overly much) attempts at friendship! The near final confrontation and the actually final confrontation!!! I am making so much sense!!! ... but, anyway. When I first dug through the ao3 tags they were dire; I hope there may be something better now. And I want to do Something... I don’t know what... but Allison is not, I’d imagine, going to be sanguine about having her throat cut! for fucking ever. And Vanya’s not going to be quite as apologetic as she probably should. And I’m okay with incest - if someone else goes there - it’s not a hard no for me, generally, but since my feelings about this show are so very much, personally, about family... I don’t know if I’ll want to go there myself. Then again, the actresses are *damn* pretty, so maybe, lol.

(Honestly, I just? Don’t have the same ‘as long as it’s porn or angst or ideally both give it to me’ um, lack of standards at least at the start for f/f ships I love as for m/m. And I need material to fan the flames of fannishness. Hence, 1, 2, 3, 4... but I love these things, so I’d like to figure out how it can work for me.)

Anyway! I promised you seven, didn’t I? I can’t count. I meant six. Because, after, I love my old ships just as much, I think about them just as much, as newer ones. (No, not Glee. That’s just on my blog cause it’s still on my dash after all this time).

Fifth... I still think about my John Laurens (not anyone else’s, really, but mine), just about every fucking day. I left Hamilton fandom quite decisively, several years ago, for several reasons.. (oh, the ship is Hamilton/Laurens of course), but I can never shake that story I was gonna write and will never write. Apparently. - It goes like this.

John Laurens was trying to die in the war. For good reasons - his apparent utter inability to change anything in the world - (I know that’s not a good reason! don’t talk to me!) - and for worse ones (being gay, his lover married, feeling so guilty about the former that he wanted the latter, oh, John). He almost succeeded, at the very last minute - in history he did succeed. But in my AU, he wakes up - the war’s over - and he’s gotta figure out What To Do Next. “Dying is easy, living is harder,” yeah? One of the (many many many) things I loved about Hamilton is how it went in on that, only not for Laurens, of course, cause he died... and that’s the story that keeps singing in my brain; there are, fractally, lots of details, of course, but that’s the outline, the story of this ship.

Six! I need to finish this post. It is 1:24 am. So the fact that Roy/Ed from Fullmetal Alchemist (it is really a very great show - ships aside, when I rewatch, I just love it) is still enough of a favorite that I wanna count it will. Lol. Stand mostly on its own. I have been rereading rainjoys’ corpus of fic for them continually for a dozen years now. And just a few days ago I was talking irl about this great idea I had for a roleswap AU... even though it was inspired by shippynes, the AU itself isn’t shippy. It’ll, also, be a different post! And I love magic science and geniuses who disobey their commanders and it is 1:30 am goodnight <3.

[flamegodess]

Let The Darkness Fall

Chapter 8

Genre: royai vampire AU, angst, romance

Rate: T

Enjoy!

--------

“At least you don’t have to write a twenty pages essay about the history of alchemy. Twenty.” Roy complained as he entered through the window in Riza’s bedroom the next morning. She laughed shortly as he lay on the bed next to her.

“Well, I was anyway doing all the stuff in the house, so there’s no punishment for me. Oh, he mentioned not talk with you anymore because‚ I’m distracting you from your studies’ .” She replied.

They couldn’t have lied last night so Roy had decided to blame it all on himself and told his master that he had taken Riza to a party. The whole night. Of course he had been angry at them both, but it was nothing compared to the earlier events.

“Don’t go to school.” He murmured sleepily.

“I have to. Even though I feel like sleeping the whole day. ” she yawned and closed her eyes.

“So you’re no longer angry?” He wanted to make sure everything was good between them and that she understood that he felt nothing for Bridgette.

“No. I figured out you are a mess and don’t do all the nasty things on purpose.”

He closed the distance between them and her scent flooded his senses.

“Do you need all your blood at school?”

“Serve yourself. Who could have thought that someone could be so hungry in the morning?....and for blood. ” Vampire or not, Riza could't understand how it felt to be thirsty for blood.

“You make me hungry.” He replied and his lips lingered on her exposed neck. He climbed on her careful not to be too heavy. His eyes glowed red.

He leaned on her chest and sunk his fangs into her neck. That moment, she realized that indeed,it was impossible for him to have this kind of bond with someone else. Again, she wanted to scold herself for being so naive, but decided to enjoy the moment.

***

“Is that blood?”Rebecca asked at school, brushing away Riza’s hair .“And that’s some kind of mark? ”

“Yes, Rebecca, a vampire visited me last night.” She answered and they both started to laugh. “It’s just a scratch from some branches. I did some gardening this weekend.” She lied rubbing the blood away from her neck.

“I have no idea how you can think about boring things like gardening when you’re living with that hottie alchemy guy.”

Riza arched an eyebrow. “Really, Rebecca? He’s boring... And ignorant. And we never talk about him.”

“I know... But do you think you could introduce him to me? I mean, if you are not interested in him... ”

Riza rolled her eyes. “I doubt this is a good idea. My father doesn’t share him.”

“Hmm...I hardly think there’s nothing between you and him. That’s why you’re creating all these excuses. He’s probably responsible for this hickey.” She continued to annoy Riza. She was used to her friend assumptions. Though... This time she was right.

***

Riza returned home as usual in the afternoon. Roy was probably studying with her father. She was sometimes afraid that one day she would return home and that Roy wouldn’t be there. She was afraid that one day, her father would realize that he was a vampire.

Those thoughts flew away the moment she entered her bedroom. A tall, beautiful woman with long dark hair was sitting at her desk arms crossed. She got up gracefully and closed the distance between her and Riza.

“Do you know who I am?”

Yes, she knew. She recognized her, but decided to shake her head.

“I am Bridgette and as I think you realized, I’m a vampire.” She smirked and licked her lips, but to her disappointment, Riza didn’t step back.

“If you’re looking for Roy...”

“No. I was looking for you, little human. And he’d better not know I visited you, understood?” she asked and frowned.

“But he will scent you anyway, in fact, I think he already did.” Riza replied a little proud that she had started to understand how these things worked.

Bridgette huffed amused. “Some of us, the old vampires, have mastered some skills. One of these skills includes the ability not to be scented. So he won’t know I paid you a little visit unless you tell him.”

Riza arched an eyebrow. Since when has her bedroom became a vampires' den?

“I will be brief and I want to make myself understood, so pay attention, weak creature.” She suddenly said, her silky voice changing to a sharp one and her eyes glowing red. “You will stay away from him. See of your own world. You are supposed to be only a source of blood, so stop considering yourself more.” She whispered and tilted Riza’s chin threateningly.

“There is nothing between-”

“I’ve heard this before and I’m not here for negotiations. You will do as I say.” She added trying to burn her with her gaze. Riza gulped silently and pulled her head away from the woman’s grip.

“Why don’t you just kill me, then? It would save a lot of words.” Riza had no idea where this words were coming from, but she felt like a wave of adrenaline had crushed upon her.

“Because he would be a mess after that. More than he is at the moment. Also, killing a branded human is punished severely by the council. However, I know you will obey me because otherwise... Your little human friend would suffer greatly.” She added and her lips curled up.

Rebbeca. So she had been spied.

“You can’t just come here and threaten to kill my friend because your relationship doesn’t work and you decide to blame it all on me.”

“Shut up!”She whispered and her cold hand gripped Riza’s throat,pressing her against the door. “I will do as I want. So mind your life. Do your job as a feeder and leave me and Roy alone. Do it for your friend, at least.”

Her hand loosened the grip on her neck and pressed the thumb on her brand. Riza shivered. With a smile upon her face, Bridgette dug her nail in her brand, making Riza choke painfully. She gripped her hand trying to unclench it from her throat and finally she let her go.

“I hope I made myself clear.” She added as she stepped back and jumped out of the window as if nothing had happened.

Riza leaned with her back against the door until she reached the floor and hugged her knees. Again, the hell had just happened? Roy had broken up with Bridgette before she became his feeder so she wasn’t the reason for that. However it looked like Bridgette didn’t want to accept the fact that Roy simply didn’t have feelings for her.

[theonyxpath]

Well, in a manner of speaking, Luke. This week wraps up our Lunars Kickstarter for a deluxe edition of this Exalted 3rd Edition sourcebook. The 72 hour warning just went out today, and we’re already seeing a dramatic upswing in pledges!

Look below in the Kickstarter section of The Blurbs! for more info and links!

Looking forward to see how it wraps up, and thrilled so far with how it has been going. Next up, we’ll be taking a couple/few weeks off and then starting the Contagion Chronicle Kickstarter for our Chronicles of Darkness “crossover” chronicle book.

More news on that as we get closer to the start, but if you want to get started with early Contagion Chronicle info, go ahead and check out the link to Matthew’s character creation session in the Onyx Path Media section of The Blurbs!, below.

Wraith20 Book of Oblivion art by Ken Meyer, Jr

Meanwhile, last week I placed Print On Demand proof orders for five different projects, and I expect to put out a couple more in this coming week. They’ll come my way whenever the PoD printers get them done and out, but it is still really great to know so many of our projects are nearing the finish line.

(PoD Proofs are the books printed out just like they will be for any of you who order them from DriveThruRPG, just early so that I can look through them and make sure there aren’t any printing errors.)

In the Monday Meeting this week, we reviewed our thoughts about next year’s brochure and found them good. Thanks to all of you who sent me your thoughts, either in the comments or directly!

We’ll be setting up a separate meeting group to handle what we’ll actually be putting into the brochure, it’s size, how many we’ll print, all that stuff, now that the strategy has been set in the larger Monday Meeting.

Signs of Sorcery art by Alex Shiekman

Having just had a full schedule review meeting last week, this week’s reports on the projects were done in record time. We had a few discussions on switching a few of our developers around; mostly because of some of their life issues.

This is really an important part of what we have been trying to do for years at Onyx Path, and which has been working out very well with our in-house dev crew being able to pitch in and resolve issues this last year, in particular. If a creator needs to ease back, or even drop out for a while, we want to work with them to make the transition something that is actually a good thing, or at least minimally disruptive, as they tackle the challenges of their “real” lives.

If you listened to last Friday’s Onyx Pathcast where our crew interviewed Rich Dansky, you’ll hear him mention how the chance to develop Wraith20 had him dancing with joy. But, you’ll also hear him talk about the real-world losses that occurred while Wr20 was being worked on: he lost three cats, both his parents, and went through a divorce.

Through all that personal upheaval, we were prepared to reconfigure the development of the project in whatever way Rich needed, and ultimately Matthew was able to help Rich finalize the project by providing both creative and process support.

EX3 The Realm art by Gong Studios

It might have been easier to just drop Rich when the rest of his life, day-job included, started to slow down progress on the project, but I am very glad that Onyx Path is able to maneuver to support creators like Rich through their tough times.

It’s not easy and does not come without cost. I know we have lost fans who wanted/needed their KS’d books earlier, and while most of our backers understood the reasons, some didn’t. Nor are we always perfect in how we work things out.

But we’re trying, Ringo. We’re trying real hard….

Changeling20 Players Guide art by Ken Meyer, Jr

It’s what we do so we can take all of you to the many amazing game lines, the…

Many Worlds, One Path!

BLURBS!

KICKSTARTER:

With our Kickstarter for the Deluxe version of EX3‘s Lunars heading into the last three days, we are well over 400% funded and have over 2175 backers! Multiple Stretch Goals have already been achieved, and we’ve just gotten started. So c’mon and get your beast-form on and join the fun!

The Story Told Podcast has a wonderful interview about Lunars: Fangs at the Gate: https://thestorytold.libsyn.com/bonus-episode-5-exalted-lunar-ks-interview-with-eric-minton

ONYX PATH MEDIA

Illustration by Michael Gaydos

This Friday’s Onyx Pathcast is a Sell Me On episode where our titanic Trio take the suggestions they received from our listeners on Twitter, and give five minute spiels on the wonders of ten Onyx Path game lines. If you ever wanted to know why one of these lines is cool – this is the episode for you!https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/

And Here’s More Media About Our Worlds:

If YOU have a podcast, YouTube or Twitch channel, or talk about games on a blog or other website, and want to perform actual plays or make reviews of our games, please reach out to the Gentleman Gamer on the Onyx Path forum. From there we’ll share emails and get you started, so when you do start producing content we’ll be able to promote it on our blog and YouTube channel!

In case you missed it last week, we hosted an Exalted character creation session for Lunars: Fangs at the Gate. Here’s the link to the video Neall Raemonn Price, Dixie Cochran, and Matthew Dawkins put together: https://youtu.be/cRr9WZHa2PA

Matthew’s also been busy running They Came from Beneath the Sea! for the folks at Red Moon Roleplaying! Here’s the latest episode in that series: https://youtu.be/QM2f6njFwng

And to show Matthew clearly has too much time on his hands, here’s a link to a character creation session for the upcoming Contagion Chronicle! More sessions will follow: https://youtu.be/STOec6if8NE

We have a new game to show you this week, with Occultists Anonymous – an actual play of Mage: The Awakening 2E – having put a first session up on YouTube. Check it out, as the viewer numbers are shooting up already: https://youtu.be/r6NroG9vRe4

Devil’s Luck Gaming continue with their excellent costumed Scarred Lands actual play: https://www.twitch.tv/DEVILSLUCKGAMING

Red Moon Roleplaying also uploaded their finale to the Changeling: The Lost 2E chronicle they’ve been running: https://youtu.be/cjRkH8HHJ5I

And last but not least, one we might have missed from a few weeks ago: Garblag Games has several episodes of their Scion series up on YouTube and we seriously think it’s worth checking out: https://youtu.be/yXz0Quc_Ln0

Please check any of these out and let us know if you find or produce any actual plays of our games!

ELECTRONIC GAMING:

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is now live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is both rolling and rocking!

Here’s an update from the App devs:

Onyx Dice!  We’ve recently released the Changeling: The Lost, Trinity Continuum: Aeon dice, and now the Geist dice.  Next up on our radar is: Demon: The Fallen,  Mummy: The Resurrection,  Kindred of the East, Vampire Dark Ages, and Mummy: The Curse.

We have a serious issue on the Pixel and Motorola phones that prevent the user from using the app correctly.  A fix is coming shortly.  A temporary workaround is to minimize the app without shutting it down, and then restore it.

ON AMAZON AND BARNES & NOBLE:

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue you bought it from. Reviews really, really help us with getting folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these fiction books:

OUR SALES PARTNERS:

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the Screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

We’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Now, we’ve added Changeling: The Lost 2nd Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

And you can now order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/manufacturers.php?manufacturerid=296

And available this week! Deluxe Changeling: The Dreaming and Deluxe Beckett’s Jyhad Diary! The additional books we have after the Kickstarter ship-outs are done are now at IPR!

DRIVETHRURPG.COM:

On Sale This Week!

This Wednesday, we’re thrilled to offer the second Exalted 3rd Edition novel: False Images by Aaron Rosenberg and Lauren Roy! PDF, physical book PoD, and ePub versions will all be available on DTRPG, and in the Kindle and Nook stores!

CONVENTIONS

UK Games Expo: May 31st – June 2nd Gen Con: August 1st – August 4th Save Against Fear: Oct 12-14 GameHoleCon: October 31st – November 3rd We’ll also be back at PAX Unplugged later this year.

And now, the new project status updates!

DEVELOPMENT STATUS FROM FAST EDDY WEBB (projects in bold have changed status since last week):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

Geist2e Fiction Anthology (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)

TC: Aeon Ready Made Characters (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Trinity Continuum Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum Core)

TC: Aeon Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Heroic Land Dwellers (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Monsters of the Deep (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Tales of Aquatic Terror (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Masks of the Mythos (Scion 2nd Edition)

Scion: Dragon (Scion 2nd Edition)

Wraith20 Fiction Anthology (Wraith: The Oblivion 20th Anniversary Edition)

Redlines

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Creatures of the World Bestiary (Scion 2nd Edition)

Chicago Folio/Dossier (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Let The Streets Run Red (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Cults of the Blood Gods (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #1 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Distant Worlds (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Second Draft

Tales of Good Dogs – Pugmire Fiction Anthology (Pugmire)

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Scion Ready Made Characters (Scion 2nd Edition)

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Scion Companion: Mysteries of the World (Scion 2nd Edition)

M20 The Technocracy Reloaded (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Development

Hunter: the Vigil 2e core (Hunter: the Vigil 2nd Edition)

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

WoD Ghost Hunters (World of Darkness)

Oak, Ash, and Thorn: Changeling: The Lost 2nd Companion (Changeling: The Lost 2nd)

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Memento Mori: the GtSE 2e Companion (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Pirates of Pugmire (Realms of Pugmire)

Manuscript Approval:

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

CofD Dark Eras 2 (Chronicles of Darkness)

Editing:

V5 Chicago By Night (Vampire: The Masquerade)

V5 Chicago By Night Screen (Vampire: The Masquerade)

Spilled Blood (Vampire: The Requiem 2nd Edition)

Scion Jumpstart (Scion 2nd Edition)

CofD Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Witch-Queen of the Shadowed Citadel (Cavaliers of Mars)

Post-Editing Development:

Signs of Sorcery (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Night Horrors: Shunned by the Moon (Werewolf: The Forsaken 2nd Edition)

Tales of Excellent Cats (Monarchies of Mau)

Wr20 Book of Oblivion (Wraith: The Oblivion 20th Anniversary Edition)

C20 Novel: Cup of Dreams (Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition)

Aeon Aexpansion (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

M20 Book of the Fallen (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Indexing:

ART DIRECTION FROM MIRTHFUL MIKE:

In Art Direction

Ex3 Monthly Stuff  

Chicago By Night

Aeon Aexpansion

They Came From Beneath the Sea!

EX3 Lunars

Hunter: The Vigil 2

Shunned By the Moon – Sketches and finals coming in.

Contagion Chronicle – AD’d for KS.

Scion Jumpstart

VtR Spilled Blood – Going over notes.

Marketing Stuff

In Layout

Dystopia Rising: Evolution

Book of Oblivion 

Signs of Sorcery

Proofing

M20: Gods and Monsters – PoD proof ordered.

Pugmire Roll of Good Dogs and Cats – PoD proof ordered.

Adventures for Curious Cats – Waiting on art fixes.

Trinity Core – Putting inMind Meld changes.

Trinity Aeon – Putting in Mind Meld changes.

Ex3 Dragon Blooded – PoD proofs ordered.

Geist 2e – 2nd Proof.

C20 Player’s Guide – Waiting on fixed piece of art to do 2nd Proof

In Media Res – Inputting proof corrections.

The Realm – Art is arting, book is proofing.

At Press

Scion Hero – Printing. PoD proof getting worked on.

Scion Origin – Printing. PoD proof ordered.

Scion Dice – At Studio2.

Scion Screen – At Studio2.

Fetch Quest – At Studio2 prepping for shipping.

False Images – EX3 novel – On sale at DTRPG.com this week in PDF/PoD/eBook versions.

TODAY’S REASON TO CELEBRATE: 

Our friends at The Bodhanna Group have published their first book! Wizards, Warriors and Wellness: The Therapeutic Application of Role Playing Games is a short booklet that gives a basic overview of the benefits that can be gained through intentional use of Tabletop Role Playing Games. It introduces readers to the therapeutic value of RPG and how this can be focused for treating various mental health disorders and behavioral challenges. One warning: although this should be enjoyable and informative for gamers of all sorts, the therapeutic strategies inside are for trained professionals. https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/268200/Wizards-Warriors-and-Wellness–The-Therapeutic-Application-of-Role-Playing-Games Congrats to all the team at TBG!

[lacrimis]

The Cimetière des Rois or Cimetière des Plainpalais, is a cemetery in Genève, Switzerland.

Writer's Phrases:

Only fools never change their minds.

When you reach my age, you will have lost your sight almost completely. You will see the yellow color and shadows and lights. Do not be worried. Gradual blindness is not a tragic thing. It's like a slow summer evening.

We publish so that we do not spend our lives correcting what we write. The truth is that it is published to free itself from the book and think of another. As for me, I reread very little of what I wrote. Although from time to time I reread passages of what I wrote and sometimes they please me. And I say: where did I get all this? Surely it must be plagiarism, because it's good.

I do not reread, I forget easily, but everything I publish supposes ten or twelve versions, the last one adding an obvious oversight to make it appear spontaneous.

Prisons seem abhorrent to me ... Certain men should be killed instead of directly imprisoned. Neither my enemies can I desire imprisonment, but death.

A blind man is a prisoner. I've been blind for a long time. I started to go blind when I started to see ...

I think taking a test is a lot less painful than going to a cocktail party. Cocktails are a boring organization.

How is it that God who became man, who is in favor of the poor in spirit, the humble, the disinherited of the earth, will be self-conscious as a beautiful being? It would be an unjust act of God. It would be a racist act of God, impossible. Therefore, Christ must have been downright ugly, and all the paintings that show him handsome are pure laziness.

In memory, everything is grateful, even misery.

War is horrible, but life is terrible. Maybe it's better to die on a battlefield.

Now there is a human science called computer science. What an ugly name for a science. It is a disgrace that information replaces culture.

Life is nothing but death that is shining.

To write poems one has to be naive and not very intelligent.

I thought of a labyrinth of labyrinths, of a winding labyrinth that encompassed the past and the future and that somehow involved the stars.

In the dream of the man who dreamed, the dreamer awoke.

The true story is not what happened; is what we think happened.

I do not like what I write; however, regrettably I can not write anything else. As a young man, I wanted to be Chesterton, Lugones, Quevedo, I wanted to be Hugo, but evidently I was not, or I was in a defective way. So I resigned myself to being Borges, and the people were very lenient towards me.

I wrote too much. I would be satisfied if, after my death, I was left with a couple of short stories, a short story, a book of poems, a poem.

I'm not modest, I'm just amazed to be known. I ceased to be a man invisible at fifty, and one can at any moment discover that I am an impostor.

I'm skeptical, but I do not congratulate myself on that. I want young people to have the right to hope.

Greed is another folly, for I know rich people and poor people, and I have not noticed that a rich man is happier than the poor. Meanwhile kidnappings, robberies are done by naive people who believe that if they get rich, they will be happier, which is a serious mistake. Although indigence is not a virtue or an extraordinarily advantageous thing.

A monetary crisis is not the cause, but the consequence of a poor political-economic administration of a country. Saying well ... our economic crisis - which is also ethical - originates, fundamentally, from the money that was stolen.

The writer must be submissive and should not try to understand too much what he is doing, because any conscious act can lead to losing the work.

We are a dreamless dream. This dream is called universal history, and each of us is a symbol of that dream.

Hate is more terrible than violence.

Organizing a library is a silent way of exercising the art of criticism.

In a newspaper, news is often written. Of course, silly. The news that the newspapers give refer to topics that do not interest me.

On several occasions, I tried to smoke marijuana, but I always failed; I finally opted for mints.

Ulysses: it was not written to be read, it was written for something far superior, it was written for the author to become famous, to be analyzed, to figure in the history of literature.

If I do not repeat the others, I repeat myself and maybe I will not go beyond a repetition.

A person's face is moving and difficult to be fixed in a memory.

Everyone talks about the supposed benefits that health brings to the individual, but I think health is a precarious state that does not presage anything good.

Life is a conjecture.

The grossest temptation of an artist is to be a genius.

Irony: something that I appreciate and recognize, and that I am totally incapable of.

Simplicity - Poem by Jorge Luis Borges :

It opens, the gate to the garden with the docility of a page that frequent devotion questions and inside, my gaze has no need to fix on objects that already exist, exact, in memory. I know the customs and souls and that dialect of allusions that every human gathering goes weaving. I've no need to speak nor claim false privilege; they know me well who surround me here, know well my afflictions and weakness. This is to reach the highest thing, that Heaven perhaps will grant us: not admiration or victory but simply to be accepted as part of an undeniable Reality, like stones and trees.

Jorge Francisco Isidoro Luis Borges Acevedo (Buenos Aires, August 24, 1899 - Geneva, June 14, 1986) was a writer, poet, translator, literary critic and Argentine essayist.

In 1914, his family moved to Switzerland, where he studied and from where he traveled to Spain. When he returned to Argentina in 1921, Borges began publishing his poems and essays in surrealist literary magazines. He also worked as a librarian and public university professor. In 1955, he was appointed director of the National Library of the Argentine Republic and professor of literature at the University of Buenos Aires. In 1961, he was distinguished in the international scene when he received the first international award of editors, the International Formentor Prize, shared with the playwright Samuel Beckett. In the same year, he received from the then president of Italy, Giovanni Gronchi, the decoration of the Order of the Commander.

His works cover the "chaos that rules the world and the character of unreality in all literature." His most famous books, Ficciones (1944) and O Aleph (1949), are collections of short stories intertwined by common themes: dreams, labyrinths, libraries, fictional writers and fictional books, religion, God. His works have contributed significantly to the genre of fantastic literature. Scholars have noted that Borges' progressive blindness has helped him to create new literary symbols through imagination, since "poets, like the blind, can see in the dark." The poems of his last period talk with cultural figures such as Spinoza, Luís de Camões and Virgílio.

His work has been widely translated and published in the United States and Europe. His international fame was consolidated in the 1960s, aided by the "Latin American Boom" and the success of Cem Anos de Solitude, by Gabriel García Márquez. To honor Borges, in his novel The Name of the Rose, Umberto Eco created the character "Jorge de Burgos", which in addition to the similarity in the name, is blind - just as Borges was staying throughout life. Besides the character, the library that serves as the background of the book is inspired by Borges's short story "The Library of Babel" (a universal and infinite library that covers all the books in the world). The writer and essayist J.M. Coetzee said that "Borges, more than anyone else, renewed the language of fiction and thus paved the way for a remarkable generation of Spanish-American novelists"

[bloodstainedangelic]

My Experience with The human Condition

I feel like I should start writing this somewhere so maybe someone sees this and avoids some of the mistakes i've come to make threwout my life. I dont exactly plan on this being a autobiogeph, But things are confusing at the current moment. Let's get Started Let me start of by intreducing myself Hi, Im Roy Otherwise Known as janro a Afrikaans Raised South african 22 year oldAnd Im a Psycopath of sorts Now my Grammer or Spelling wont be a real reflection of my Brain so to speak, or my Character im in general bad with spelling but im good with words I guess. Im not a Psycopath in the general sense of what most people think , No I dont hurt people I have yet to murder someone in case your wondering. But I dont feel things like people should, Happiness IF you could call it that comes for me in the form of anger and immense moments of depression Tho im not sure what those Emotions really mean, Its the closest I come to feeling anything tho, Im not sure what anything is really, I find it impossible to learn anything from anyone, I think it might have to do with the fact that I usually Find myself better the work.Its a bad habbit because of that I learn to hate almost everything I do, Yet i Tend to be good at it, Everything ive ever undertaken ive either excelled at or simply never bothered to even try at it. I have no Motivation for anything It seems Pointless I dont see the purpose of running the hamster wheel of a life we tend to live, Im lonely So lonely yet I have a beautifull girlfriend thats wonderfull really. Shes amazing, A little one the only thing probably keeping me around my Beautifull little child. But that hurts me in the same breath because I want to see the world and expierence everything from every corner of the world in hopes that i find something that brings me Purpose, But now Because of her im forced to run the hamster wheel. And this is has been the hardest undertaking of my life. a year at college to get a Degree thats gotten me Nowhere and Taught me nothing, The person "In Charge" of teaching us" was so incapible him self I actually found it amusing in times so now with no Safety net noone to run to, No more Money to study Further, I sit here everyday Trying to find a job im totally unprepared to do. Maybe I am Ready but You see im intentionally or unintentionally self destructive I dont know, I cant afford to see a Therapist to try and deal with my Problems. If that would even help, So here i Am hoping some Stranger reads this and Borrows me a ear or some advice, Im trying to briefly Summarize my Current Situation So IF you're not interested in the full story Stop here. As a child I use to excell at everything I did at 12 I was already taking care of my Drunk of a dad, And teaching my Mother and sister how to cook, How to teach, How to handle there work and school life's I've always been the helpfull Silent kid that helps everyone els out with a smile but never quite getting anything in return, Well not In the general sense atleast. See I thrive on Others Emotions Im kind of a Morphic Person I adapt my Personaly and Characteristics to the person im talking to, So "Me" as a person my "Personality" Doesnt exsist its totaly Dependant on my current situation Because of that i've found it easy to Manupilate people Especially People who think they have the upper hand. When someones Following my Everywhim I feel this " At home" feeling And I guess because of this My life turned out the way it did. See for me Nothing Ever works out the way its suppose to, Im a Hopeless Optemist at time but its never worked out not even once, I've never had a plan work out before Yet I cant bring my self to "Just go with the flow" Because I tend to feel very little 99% of the time I've always been the calm and Colected person in my Family so everyruns to me if theres trouble or if they have problems. I'd love to run to someone I know for help right now, But I dont think anyone I know has the brain cells to understand the odd situation im in. Basiclly Im stuck in a puddle and ive got no way out. Theres no branch to latch onto no doors to open threres nothing ahead, I'd love to say all I need is for someone to give me a chance but im not sure I can get what they need from me done, Every Dream ive ever had ive had to toss into the wind because of one or another situation Either money family or loved ones. I feel like Im not good enough for anything anymore I've always had this rock solid self confidence lately none of thats left, Im the kind of guy that can write a 4000 Word essay on the spot usually and right now i dont even know what to write anymore, My Life is a Shit show right now, And ive got no outlet So im hoping this provides me some kind of support. I've lived a complicated live uptill now I've dealt With a Drunk for a dad thats sold everything ive almost every owned when i was living with him I turned to drugs to Feel something at some point But I litterly Stopped that Addiction simply by doing so much drugs that i'd be able to go to the hospital if i OD'd or Feel so shit that I can mentally start to restructer the addiction as a "Pain in the ass" "A hassle" It wasnt some Therapy or Rehab that helped me Just me simply Lying to my self and Ya I do get Cravings from time to time , But Eh. after that I spent 3 Years sitting at home trying to find a job And eventually after Interview and Interview failing I ended up Going to study and it this point im sure you know how that ended, And now im a Neutral Rock that cant feel anything but Crushing Self Pitty and Demotivation towards every daily act Its gotten to the point where i'd rather be hungry for 2 days straight then get up and make my self some Instant noodles or a Cheese sandwitch The other day I had such bad Stomach Cramps That i fainted, Probably because of the lack of neutrition but Eh I dont have the money to see a DR and I cant be Bothered trying to Improve my Diet as an Example I use to Weight About 90KGs Athletic Guy with Big "Muscles" I weight 42 KGs atm I Disgust my self when i look in the mirror lately When i see how ive let my self just Rot I honestly looked better on drugs Hell all the photos on this twitter I was high as all shit. I cant Off my self cause what about my kid. And That would be to much of a hassle honestly I mean ive been trying to kill my self slowly for years but still. I cant improve my life because I have no motivation And to improve it I would need a job and at this point I cant even remember what I had for Breakfast. Ooh And ive been Self Medicating with 7 Types of Anti Deppresants None of wich work btw All they do is make me feel "Edgy" when I forget to take them. But yeah I mean Shitts Tuff Im having some real "First World" Problems at the moment but to be honest i'd rather be in a warzone or some apocelyptic fuckery of a area atleast there id have a daily in and out and hell maybe the idea of getting murdered everyday might drive me to do something with my life althought thats doubfull But yeah if you got this far I think I owe you a Alot, and hell maybe you feel the same but I just want someone to fucking help me. I Feel fucking broken And I really just need some Help.

[makingnewenemies]

Hi Hi Hi. Here is a little blurb I wrote off the top of my head about all my friends on this year’s Group Picture Vol. 8. I love them all. I love their songs. And I love that we still keep up this stupid tradition; and somehow the comp keeps getting better and better. Thanks everyone! Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays :) - walt

Sour Guy - All Those Plans Were Wrong

Last summer Kris Schobert (Sour Guy, Walter Etc. / Mitty core member, Ernie…) was admitted to the hospital… and then again… and then again…. I think he spent like a month total in the hospital. It was not chill. But when he got out, the whole experience gave him a bit of clarity and new perspective on his life and the decisions he has made thus far. I won’t speak any further for him, but Kris… hey, nice song! And your quality home recording production and continuation of the WMAHMO slop sound doesn’t not go unnoticed! This song made me tear up in a coffee shop the first time I heard it. 

Slaughter Beach, Dog - Big Band

Slaughter Beach, Dog are randomly GP staples by now but also one of my favorite bands and greatest friends. This song is a bit of a sound change for them, swapping mid tempo soft rock John K Sampson vibes for a theatrical late 60’s / 70’s sound that is a bit more light hearted than normal and I LOVE IT. It’s catchy, it makes me laugh, yet its so true. Glad to have these boys back this year.

Teal & Jer - Alphabet

Portland’s dreamiest duo Teal & Jer (Chain, Riled, Loose, lots of projects) bring a quirky alt edge to our otherwise bland and boring comp. Without them, we’d just be us. I personally would like to hear more Teal solo work??? Teal???

Milk Flud - Rodeo

If you don’t fuck with Milk Flud then you can get out.

Chase Hoyt - Health

Chase Hoyt (Ubu Roi, Feed, Chaz and the Minions of Chaz, The Rodeo…) is a GP fixture by now, and important asset to MNE because it’s his classic rock sensibilities that balance out the overload of folk / indie rock that we swim in. This song not only has a comically true message (health is the most important, i agree Chase) but the vibe, especially the chorus, has my head bobbing and me feeling like I’m on a grassy hillside at an outdoor concert in the 70’s, but also one glass of wine deep making homemade pizzas at an Air BNB with a girl I love, and that is a nice combo of feelings. “Let’s wrap it up / I’ve embarrassed us all enough”

Dry Goods - Learnt Nothing

You hear that flawless acoustic finger picking? That masculine story telling voice that sounds somewhere between a suburban Bob Dylan and a cowboy singing to the emptiness of the high desert? Yup, its Russell Park AKA Dry Goods and FKA Weston Bookhouse coming at us with another folk masterpiece, but this year adding in some new elements we aren’t quite used to- namely some cruisey guitar solos! Rumor has it Dry Goods is in the studio recording a new album right now and I would not be bummed out if this song were on it.

Byronius Punk - Beautiful Things

I just spent 3 weeks with Byronius Punk (Ian Farmer of Slaugher Beach, Dog / Modern Baseball) at his studio The Metal Shop in Philadelphia making a record with his beautiful mind and his new drum machine- so this song really hits home for me. I could write an essay on why this is the perfect Group Picture song- my three main points being - 1. It is a song about the act of creating. (“in everything that exists there lies a certain beauty / I want the world to know how much it all means to me”) which is exactly what Group Picture aims to celebrate. 2. It’s a song written and performed by someone who is usually more in the background of his bands (bassist / backup vox / recording engineer) but here has a platform to express his own individual style and skills, which is exactly what Group Picture wants to promote. 3. It has a Milk Flud name drop, which is a classic and classy GP / MNE move. Thank you Ian. You rule.

Dante Elephante - It Bothers Me

Dante Elephante are Santa Barbara legends and their new album “Rare Attractions” shows them evolving their sound into more loungey and ethereal territory. I am so glad they have joined GP this year, because I see singer / songwriter Ruben almost every weekend when he DJ’s at The Tavern in Ventura and I drunkenly annoy him / vaguely fan boy out on him. Dante being on Group Picture is a sign that our friendship extends beyond Saturday nights at the Tavern. Also their album vibes hard. Check out Rare Attractions on Spotify.

Peanut Butter Cups - Highest Quality

Petition for Aaron Kovacs (Peanut Butter cups, Lauren Records CEO, Winter Break and Summer Vacation drummer) to finally put out a full album? This catchy lo-fi pop rock is undeniably infectious. Fun fact: I’ve been hanging with this boy for almost 10 years and I’ve never heard him sing, but then he sends me these recordings and I’m like wtf your voice is so cool! If he makes a full album, MNE will put out the LP and still give him 100% of the digital income. That is how much I like Aaron’s style. 

Anika Pyle - Young Love

I once wrote a song with the lyric “I’ll probably see her on tour but she won’t be on Group Picture this year.” I’m so glad I was wrong. Welcome to GP Anika Pyle! Anika (Katie Ellen, Chumped) plays raw emotional pop rock songs and this gem “Young Love” is just the tip of the iceberg. When her vocals max out at the end of the tune and you get a little bit of musical goosebumps, that is the feeling you get for a full 30 minutes of watching her play live. Anika, please come in and stay for a while! 

Walter Etc. - This Would Only Happen to Me

Ok ok enough of the soft emotional bullshit. Here’s a song about someone coming to kill me! It’s 100% true. If you’re reading this, help!!!

Jake Lee - Good Run

Jake Lee (Bleeding Gums Murphy) strikes again with a lo-fi indie gem in which we hear Jake Lee reflect on his gaime from last year. Sounds like he made some interesting choices and is coming to terms with them? Or did I miss the mark, Jake? He is and always will be one of my favorite songwriters and his voice in this fuzz effect is not a bad look, I have to admit. The only way my life would be better is if Jake made a full album. Cheers homie.

Babytooth - State Quarters, OR

Technically, this is Babytooth’s official debut on Group Picture, but Portland, OR singer / songwriter Isabel Zacharias had a song on the comp last year that blew me away. It was her vocals and lyrics that hooked me then, and are still yanking me now. Now backed by a full band that gives dynamic range to her songs, it was still that first line “now you know you want a girl without a phone” that had me nodding “yup i love this”. Fingers crossed for Babytooth to become a GP staple.

Trashbike - Weasel

Trashbike is Bread (Blowout, Walter etc., Donkey Lips) and his homie Ru playing the pedals. He told me he wrote this song while stumbling home from the Bye and Bye. Bread is like a sexy emo prince, can’t you hear it? This song rules and I really hope Trashbike is more than just a one and done GP band. I would listen to a few albums of soft songs like this, wouldn’t you?

Banned From Japan - Vegan X

Welcome back to the Socal Valley punk rockers Banned From Japan! If you know that singer / songwriter Matthew Earle has been sober for a few years, this song is hilarious, simultaneously poking fun at vegan straight-edge and himself. The music rips and his vocals are catchy af. Fat Wrecks Chords come and sign Banned From Japan asap!

Walter X - Winter Shy

Ok. This is a bit meta. Walter X (Michael Mahaffie and his WMAHMO / Walter Etc. hardcore chip tune cover project) covers an old Walter GP song as his own GP song. Pretty niche MNE content! This song, in this Lifetime-esque style, his vocals so clear but so gruff, those guitar harmonies, the creative intro and chip-tuney bridge…. this literally gives me chills and is so much better than the original. I encourage anyone reading this to go check out his own original music under the name Jump Cut. It sounds just like this but with Michael’s own songs, shedding the limitations of the musical simpleton Walter songs.  Also, check out the full Walter X album on Spotify! What a talented dude…

Curling - Genkai Trip

Curling released their MNE album “Definitely Band” this year and the musical arrangements / song structures absolutely floored me. Genkai Trip is a song that got left off the album, but lives on through GP! Singer / guitarist Bernie Gelman noted “There's some pretty wacky guitar overdubs where Jojo and I each doubled some guitar parts while the other person was playing with the trem on the guitar, so you get this really weird detuning effect.” and yup that is Curling in a nutshell for you. Always excited to play around with gear and recording techniques that are way beyond my level.  I think this is an extremely underrated band and highly encourage the world to check out Definitely Band on spotify!

Ali Muhareb - DIY Hell

Ali? What the hell did you even make this song? It’s intriguing in the verses and then when the chorus busts out it sounds like if Dough Martsch were an up and coming artist in Portland in 2018. I actually had to text Ali to ask what these guitar sounds were and, if anyone is interested, he responded, “I compressed two guitars together through a virtual amp. And they’re both running through this sick pedal I got called the Data Corrupter.” For sure Ali! Thanks for a bad ass tune.

Dakota Loesch - Don’t Solve My Mysteries

I’ve been listening to a lot of Dakota’s music (solo, Animal City, Lemp Lungs) recently. I keep coming back to it, and its not a mystery. After hundreds of songs in his pocket, songs like “Don’t Solve My Mysteries” still sound musically and lyrically fresh, like Dakota has never had writer’s block in his life. When I listen to his music, I feel like it vicariously breaks down my own creative barriers. For instance when I first heard this song and he dropped the hook “just don’t solve all mysterious” I had that knee-jerk urge to ditch what I was doing and go write a poem or something. His will to create is just that contagious. Combine that with the Casio-keyboard bedroom drum machine vibe that I love so much about his songs like “The Basmati Rice” and you have a 10/10 GP banger. 

Jerbear - Nowhere Girl

Jerbear is Jeremy Murphy (Teal & Jer, Riled, so many) and he is the king of a few things: weird bad guitar tones, asymmetrical organic song structures, rad lyrics that I never understand, and a voice that is universally loved. He stole my heart with Cranberries in the Cosmos on a previous GP, but I think Nowhere Girl takes the cake. Jer- when do we get the full solo album? Please don’t fall into the category of GP lost wonders. You’re not too shabby at this music thing! 

Hemingway - Catch My Cool

Catch My Cool is a B-side from Hemingway’s You Will Never Be Happy.

I played drums in Hemingway at this time and I always vibed that Benny didn’t really like the way this song came out int he studio. I don’t get why? That vocal melody, soft sad and surfy guitar leads… it makes me wanna hold hands with a girl on Christmas Eve while walking down some bougie street looking at Christmas Lights. It sounds like a Starflyer 59 worship track and I love it for that. Benny, you made a mistake. This song should have made the album. 

Alex Maddox - The Hypocrit’s Dilemma

I’ve heard Alex play this song when we get together to jam, and he always laughs it off as a Walter Mitty rip off song. But honestly, this is what I wish WMAHMO would write about if we made a folk punk record today. If you listen to this song knowing that Alex Maddox was a guy who quit his high paying job to travel Europe in his van, surfing and skating and working on farms, the lyrics to this song are way more wanna-be Walter Mitty. The song depicts a transformation in his paradigm and is completely raw, authentic, and sincere. Alex inspires me to chase a wholesome life that is designed for and by myself, rather than the obvious and sterile template that is provided for us, and this song exemplifies that 1000%. 

Uncle Uncle - Nira (I’m Alive)

We played with Uncle Uncle last year in Santa Barbara and I honestly think we should have opened for them. They are actually a good band, both live and recorded. Stylish, friendly, and comically laid back- they might be the quintessential Santa Barbara band. A semi-new band, Uncle Uncle is gaining momentum quickly, and I won’t be surprised when the day comes that Kevin and Dom big time me on State st. Til then, I’m just glad I get to claim that they were on a Group Picture. 

Humphrey Orlando - Set U Free

Ah, Humphrey. No, Humphrey accompanied by Toast. Two legends as old as MNE itself. What is there to say? I could listen to their wandering ballads til I fall into the Big Sleep, and still the melodies linger on…

[belizedeservesbetter]

Angels in America is Absolutely Perfect In Every Way

This play leaves me so speechless how am I supposed to write a review of it? 

Oh boy. 

What can I say that hasn’t already been said? 

I keep putting off writing and posting this review because whenever I feel like I’m ready to say something coherent about it, I get completely bowled over how amazing it was. This playbill pic was the first time I saw Millennium Approaches, and I’ve seen it two more times now (thanks cheap lotto tickets) and I’m still so awestruck by it. I already know I’m gonna forget to write about half the things I wanna talk about. 

The play itself is obviously amazing. We all know this. It isn’t called one of the best plays ever for nothing. It’s amazing and complex and detailed and every time I reread it I get something completely new from it. 

Every character is so well-rounded and so perfectly written. They feel like real, flawed people. Every character has their vices and virtues and things that make them tick and things that make them happy and sad and angry and frustrated. All of these characters feel love so deeply to the point it’s crippling. 

I could literally talk forever just about the play itself so I’m gonna put that aside because we know it’s amazing and go straight into this specific revival.

The Short Version: Holy shit this is the best thing I have ever seen ever. 

Long Version: 

Literally every aspect of this production is impeccable. 

Can we talk about how Marianne Elliott took the HUGE themes of decay and destruction and literally built the world around that? The way the set in Millennium Approaches slowly backs away and practically abandons its characters?? The way Perestroika is literally set in the void until the very last scene?? How at the top of Perestroika Harper’s scream of pain literally blew away the remains of the set? My mind was blown. I love Marianne Elliott and The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time is one of my favorite shows of all time (next to Angels, actually) so I knew she would do an incredible job with it but I didn’t know it’d be that good. 

The way she has imagined The Angel is literally stunning. Everyone in the audience was expecting the Angel to crash into the ceiling and be this beautiful magnificent being all in white, but she did the exact opposite of that. I will never be able to get the image out of my mind of the Angel shadows lifting her up and  carrying her over to Prior. She is literally the embodiment of spiritual decay and it was so incredible to see. 

Andrew Garfield as Prior Walter is literally sensational. SENSATIONAL. He brings such a deep strength and pain to Prior and this fear and heartbreak and rage that is so beautiful to watch. His Prior really does emphasize how absolutely devastated he is that Louis left him. I really think his Prior is grounded in love, in love for Louis and love for Belize and eventually love for Hannah but it’s when he realizes that he doesn’t want to die and wants more life and demands it from heaven that he truly becomes the best version of himself, which is stunning to see. Garfield’s “more life” monologue makes me tear up just thinking about it for too long. He’s baring his whole soul out on stage each night and I don’t think I’ve ever been so moved by a performance before. 

Louis is my favorite character and James McArdle did not disappoint. He was absolutely exceptional in every way and was perhaps my favorite of the cast. He brings so much to the character. Like Garfield, he brings so much vulnerability to the role, and this all consuming guilt and self-loathing and rage. His Perestroika monologue to Belize when they’re at the fountain in the middle of the play was incredible. It’s hard to articulate my thoughts on him and Louis because so much of his greatness is the small things he does and reacts and the small ways Louis grows and changes throughout the play, which McArdle was amazing in doing. 

Denise Gough is just as good as everyone says she is and more. She’s extraordinary as Harper and makes you laugh and ache until her final monologue, where she makes you weep. 

Nathan Lane. ‘Nuff said. 

I am already going on too long so I can’t talk about everyone in depth so here we go, speed round version. Nathan Stewart-Jarrett is incredible as Belize. He owned the stage every second he was on it, and, likewise, his scene describing heaven to Roy brought tears to my eyes. Susan Brown is excellent as Hannah/others and I love her more and more each time I see it. Lee Pace is fantastic. His “Why are you hurting me?! I love you!” literally breaks my heart. Amanda Lawrence and Beth Malone are both absolutely exquisite as the Angel.

Everything about this show was perfect in every way. 

I’ll never stop talking about how amazing this production was, and I’ll never be able to say enough about it either. This is a play that was really important to me when I was just beginning to find myself and find who I wanted to be and is still incredibly important to me now. For my play survey class in college I literally wrote a 16 page essay on it. I’m on my college’s radio station and literally talked about it for ten straight minutes. This is a play that means so much to me and I’m ecstatic that it’s going to mean so much to so many people now that it’s back on Broadway. 

Here’s what everyone else said and I basically agree with all the rave reviews EXCEPT The New York Times didn’t love Lee Pace but I did 

https://www.amny.com/entertainment/angels-in-america-review-1.17670742 

https://www.newsday.com/entertainment/theater/angels-in-america-review-1.17627439

Time Out New York

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/25/theater/angels-in-america-review-nathan-lane-andrew-garfield.html

And I can’t find Sara Holdren’s review for The Vulture but I love her and she loved it too