#i am going to work and doing the dishes and showering and i am doing all of it with the underlying feeling of dread and exhaustion
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having to do physio exercises every day of my life really feels like i don't get time off work after hours like gotta come home and do physio and by the time i'm done i gotta eat, get showered, go to bed, wake up, work again, who came up with this shit?
#i love days off...... i wanna do hobbies......#it is 8pm i am on the floor after doing physio and guess whats next?#that's right! food then shower then bed then work!#i literally turn down social things because i've got to do physio instead#front of house was having a party tonight and they invited me and i was like#sorry i've got pt on monday can't slack off now#anyways i'm gonna go grill a cheese and wash dishes#this has been a Vent Post
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lack of sleep makes me weird
#if i am being generous i got maybe 1-2 hours of sleep last night... i am more inclined to gauge at less than 1#which meant i was cleaning cat litter at 3 am and deleting various accounts and apps off my phone at 5 am#and playing sudoku for an hour or two around 6 and then showering and doing dishes#i have spent the past several hours also seriously contemplating getting rid of everything i own#(i know that's not smart which is why i was doing my phone to try and redirect the urge... it only kind of worked)#and the idea of putting on clothes for work makes me want to curl in a ball and die#i also deleted youtube off my phone because shorts were rotting my brain as bad as tik tok used to except the algorithm was shit#and i didn't realize how much i'd been using it recently because i am so bored#i have book brain and that's why i didn't sleep... i want to read the next book but i can't because i won't want to stop#and then going to work will be torturous#it's already gonna be stupid hard
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long post so i GUESS i’ll put it under the cut
so i’ve been really reflecting lately on my self diagnosis of autism, especially since i’ve been really coming into myself and managing my anxiety better than ever before, and ive been wondering whether it might be that the symptoms i thought were attached to being autistic are just how anxiety manifests in me and the things about myself that i thought proved that i dont have adhd in any way may also just be how anxiety manifests in me. because also even though ive really related with autism and the social symptoms, i’ve never really been sure i have sensory processing issues, at least not to the extent that the dsm specifies in order to be autistic. and what i really HAVE related to is the inability to just sit down and get shit done. so i took another self assessment with this clearer knowledge i have of myself and how i really function as a human being when im on my own and living as an adult and
the only ones that arent high levels are literally the ones that i can directly pinpoint as one of my biggest concerns with my anxiety. impulsivity is the one that makes adhders more likely to butt into conversations or keep going on for a long time or make decisions and later regret them. as you may have noticed i am particularly long winded when im typing, but is that true of me in real life? like at all? not really. i struggle to get two words out sometimes. i was selectively mute in my childhood. i can say for a fact that the reason for this in my hyper-awareness of the potential of making a faux pas or embarrassing myself in social situations. and i have decision paralysis due to the same phenomenon. im very aware of the potential of disappointing other people if i make a bad decision. im not sure if impulsivity would manifest itself in the “typical” adhd way if my anxiety wasn’t there, but i have no way of ever knowing that because it is.
and forgetfulness. i beat that shit out of myself when i was younger. i can clearly remember a time in elementary school, then in middle school, then in high school (before i started writing sticky notes for myself) when i would get myself in trouble just simply because of forgetting about assignments. my family is very academically oriented. my parents wouldnt be SUPER mad at me if i was trying my best and didnt get good grades, but i knew they would be disappointed if i didnt try my best. i have so many systems in place so as to never ever forget about schoolwork any more. you have no clue how revolutionary it is for me that college professors actually put all of the assignments for the semester of the syllabus. one of my biggest gripes about high school was that the teachers would just assign homework seemingly at random? it was easy to forget if you werent writing it all down, ok? and for appointments? same deal. my parents kind of took care of the remembering appointments part before i got older and by now i do have these systems in place for myself. i do often forget to make calls, mostly because i dont make a point of writing it down as a task for myself because making calls gives me anxiety. yeah.
also i sat here and took this assessment and wrote all of this instead of working on my 2000 word midterm paper due next tuesday for which i have exactly one sentence written. listen, procrastination is a universal trait, but i just felt like it was relevant.
#not saying this necessarily proves anything#and of course i know professional assessment is the only true way to know#but i have anxiety#and possibly adhd#how do you think i handle the medical system?#i really shouldve had therapy at this point in my life but thats too difficult to get started lol#OH#also#i am fucking SHIT at creating habits for myself#i have to physically force myself to even go and brush my teeth every night and every morning#and washing my face only gets done half the time because its easier to not do it and i get bored if im in the bathroom too long#i have to make every task i do more interesting for myself or i wont do it#i used to hate taking time out of my day to even shower before i started listening to music in the shower#and i like to watch shows or videos while i cook or wash dishes or fold laundry#damn i maybe shouldve considered this more seriously sooner#i forgot to consider the world in which all social anxiety does not automatically equal autism#i need to stop typing now#i really have work to get done#ugghghhghghghhhhh#cloudy rambles
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I really hate how much my brain hates to do new things sometimes
#oops i’m ranting in the tags apparently#tw for uhh depression and anxiety and eating difficulties in the tags if you read them#i made it to the door of a cafe two blocks from my flat#i’ve walked past it a dozen times in the six months i’ve lived here#and the menu looks good it’s coffee and breakfast foods and sandwiches#and they have donuts from a donut place i like#but it’s in a building with like three doors right next to each other and i didn’t know which one it was#and now i do bc i thought to check the address online#and made it to the door but it looks small and there were People there because it’s like noon duh#and i couldn’t see if there was more table just by peeking through the window while trying to look like i wasn’t peeking in#so i stood a foot away from the door and then left and went to my normal coffee place one block in the other direction#but i still haven’t gotten FOOD which is … not great i haven’t eaten anything in a couple days#i mean i had chinese food that i split between sat and sun as my lunch at work#but i should probably eat something but i’m tired of only going to the chipotle near safeway or the pizza bar which isn’t open yet anyway#which leads us back to i hate my brain and i’ll probably just end up getting chipotle again#but there are so many local restaurants that i want to try!! but i’m so picky about food while also hating to ask for modifications#and i used up most of the energy today dragging myself into the shower for the first time in dayss#and i need to do laundry and go grocery shopping and do the dishes and and and#and i’m still fucking exhausted even though i passed out on the couch last night and didn’t drag myself out until like 11 am#and i have work tomorrow so laundry NEEDS to happen because i worked eight days in a row and have zero clean work clothes#and i can hear my stomach growling at me because coffee was not enough and i know better and i’m really not trying to starve myself to death#but goddamn i just don’t want to have to do anything#i hate this#why brain why#mental health: deteriorating#my ramblings
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This has got to be the worst move out yet
#packing perils#student living#Uni shenanigans#ace is a mess#oh my god. okay so we start on Tuesday ive been gradually moving my stuff over to my friends house#cus were moving in together in September and shes staying in her place over the summer so well have everything in one place to move in#so take some stuff over to hers on tuesday before her shift then we walk to work together i collect her keys and say bye#go back to mine pack up some more stuff warned her i planned on doing 2 trips while she was working so start figuring out whats going#end up with two tote bags a crate a box and a large bag of boxes decide ill take the heavier tote bag and the box on the first trip#as i cant really carry much else with the box due to its awkward size even though its not particularly heavy and cut through the park to#shave off some time feel pretty good when i get there it wasnt unbareable esp after Saturday when carrying 4 heavy shopping bags ended up#covering me in bruises and scratches and messing my back shoulder and neck up so i feel like underestimated myself on this trip and like i#can take everything on the next trip well its already late in the day cus my mate does evening shift so by time i get back its half 9 so i#decide to cut through the park again to save time but the large shopping bag with my saucepans casserole dish etc is difficult to carry due#to how bulky it is and the crate tho it has handles is also unwieldy so my arms are being bruised and scratched up i cant waste time carryin#everything back home just to put one thing down at this point but im considering putting the biggest bag down in some overgrown plants in#the park speeding to my mates and coming back for it its a stupid and risky idea but its getting dark the sun is almost completely set and#no matter how often i rest i just cant manage it and my damn brain starts worrying about being murdered so i ditch the bag and i can move#much quicker now so rush to my mates and rush back reassure her as im leaving hers that i am bringin her keys back its just after 11 at this#point cus its over 35 minutes to get to hers i get back to the park in just over 20 my bag is still there! and i dont get attacked get my#stuff to her room then hustle to get to her job before she finishes at 12 get there a few minutes to spare shes not ready to go yet anyway#she tells me shes not comfortable with me walking back in the dark i should stay at hers i cant ive got an assignment so she says shes#walking me to mine then going to her boyfriends 5 mins down the road get back to mine shower have dinner and crank out my Wednesday 4pm#assignment by 7am go to bed get about 2 hours sleep before tge fire alarm is tested and then ive got to be up for a meeting with our new#landlord anyway and ofc its raining come back from our meeting grab food and start packing up some more sht get buses over to hers this time#together come back pack some more hope the rain dies down a bit but it doesnt look like its stopping and i somehow fcked my foot carrying#stuff earlier so she texts a coworker asking if they can pick us up they agree so organise a few more things but then a puddle causes their#car to break down the next bus is in over half hour so mate decides shes gonna run to her boyfriends to charge her phone while we wait for#the next bus to be due while shes gone i finish sorting things she then calls asks me to book a taxi cus the rain has only gotten worse when#taxi arrives realise that student accom is basically flooded deciding what to do while at hers cus the weather is unbareable she goes to get
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The thing is that I did the dishes and showered and went to work this week and I'm unable to be proud or happy about any of these achievements because I would just rather be dead
#it's such a weird feeling#my psychologist will ask me how it's going tomorrow and I will tell her that I did those things and she will say that's good. are you proud#and i will have to say no i would rather be dead actually#yes i was able to do things i couldn't before. yes that is an improvement. no i'm unable to feel happy about it.#i am going to work and doing the dishes and showering and i am doing all of it with the underlying feeling of dread and exhaustion#and an increasingly real wish for death#personal
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who to call to clean up after an "accident" than your sick and twisted military boyfriend? :D (dark!ghost x dark!fem!reader, 18+)
cw: dark!reader, dark!simon, horror movie vibes, graphic depictions of character death/murder, unhealthy relationship dynamics, one slip of daddy, smut, unprotected piv, simon "spit in my mouth" riley, reader and simon are kinda psycho :D
you've been so nice to her. really nice. you've let it slide off your back whenever she doesn't do her dishes. you pretend you don't notice when she borrows your shoes from the hallway and wears them out to dinner. you hide yourself in your room when she has her awful, loud guests over, and you have never once said anything about how she takes her sweet time in the shared bathroom in the morning and makes you late 2 days a week for work.
but this? this?
she needs to keep simon's name out of her fucking mouth.
"excuse me?" you say finally. your roommate is shrugging on her jacket to leave, her purse in her hand as she types on her phone, using it as a way to not make eye-contact with you. her long nails are tapping against the screen, and it feels like fucking drip water torture. "what the fuck did you just say?"
she sighs, irritated, rolling her eyes as she keeps tapping away at the screen.
"you're so dramatic, it was just a fucking joke."
"you know, i let a lot of things slide," you laugh, humorlessly, and you cross your arms over your chest as you follow her into the kitchen. "but you need to be careful what you say."
"i don't do anything except call it like i see it," she says, tossing her hair over her shoulder and looking at herself in the reflection of the mirror hanging on the wall. "you need to just...go out more. man like that isn't gonna stay for long if you don't give him something to go for. he's bored, you know. when you have him over here all the time. and i've totally caught him peeking at me after i shower, y'know."
"well why the fuck are you wearing nothing but a towel when my boyfriend is here, anyways?" you snap. "he's trying to be polite, he's a guest. what if i wore a fucking towel when you had your guy friends over?"
she laughs, poking at the edge of her lip to fix the gloss of her pout. "trust me, honey, no one's looking at you in a towel."
you step back, a little shocked. she rolls her eyes again, sighing.
"i didn't--"
"are you kidding me?" you retort. "you're the worst fucking roommate in the world, and i put up with all your bullshit, and now you're going to go so low as to insult the way i look just to make yourself feel better?" you make your way around the kitchen island. "you don't wash your fucking dishes, you steal my fucking clothes, you're always late on your rent so i have to spot you--"
"you know what, just because i'm fucking happy, and you're not, doesn't mean you have to take it out on me!"
"i am happy, you sorry bitch!" you cry. "i'm so fucking happy, you're the only thing in my life making me constantly miserable!"
"oh, shove it up your ass, you ungrateful little shit!" she snaps. "you're just so fucking insecure and hate me so badly just because simon would rather fuck a girl like me than have to spend another minute with--"
the crack of cast iron against her head shuts her up. it dents the side of her head easily, and her face smacks against the countertop before she crumples to the floor.
it's so fast. one minute, she's yapping, high-pitched voice straining your ears. the next, she's silent.
and she won't say simon's fucking name again.
you watch with bated breath as she folds into herself, her head hitting the hardwood last, a slow puddle of blood beginning to grow under the tendrils of her hair as your eyes move to the heavy pan you're still holding in your hands.
fuck, that's a lot of blood. god, you thought she was just full of fucking air.
you drop the pan once the rush of anger leaves your chest. it thunks onto the ground, and your hands shake as you see the specks of blood that are on the back of your hands, sprinkled over the shirt you wear. it stains your bare legs, even your toes, and you don't even want to look at the spray of it along the counters.
you should be crying, you think. you should feel bad. you're trembling a little, but you think it's just the adrenaline beginning to fade and not the guilt you know is supposed to be racking your insides.
you turn your eyes back to her. her eyes are dull. she doesn't move. it's so quiet now, utterly silent, and you take a deep breath as you take in the silence that you've craved for a long while now. you make your way quietly out of the kitchen, stepping over her body before going for your phone that sits on the coffee table in front of the couch.
you keep your eyes on her as you put your phone to your ear. it rings, and you tilt your head to the side as the blood begins to spiderweb under the kitchen table.
"'ello?"
you blink, looking towards the door. you clutch your phone a little tighter to your ear.
"simon?" you say softly. "a-are...are you busy?"
he hums lowly, chuckling, "no' at the moment, swee'eart, why?" he asks. "mmm...missed y'r voice..." you close your eyes as you hear the buckle of his belt. you try not to picture your giant of a boyfriend leaning back on his worn couch and shoving his jeans low enough to fuck his fist. "tolk t'me, luv...tell me 'ow much ya miss daddy."
you clear your throat gently, willing yourself to ignore the soft squelch of what you know is his hand around his cock, to not let it distract you from what's more important. "uhm...i liked the flowers you gave me, simon. t-they were beautiful."
the sounds on the other end of the phone quiet. you hear shuffling, and then a few moments later, the clink of his car keys.
"tha' right, baby?" he asks, and you close your eyes as you hear the front door of his flat opening. he's already on the way, already coming.
"yeah," you sniffle. "really nice sunflowers."
a yellow flower. he huffs on the other end of the phone, breathing a little easier.
"good girl," he murmurs, and then the line cuts. you set the phone down, making your way back to the kitchen and taking a seat at the table. you watch as the blood continues to curl over the floor. you make no attempt to help her; you just swing your feet under you as you look at her spoiled outfit, just grateful she isn't wearing your shoes or one of your jackets. you would hate to have to throw something out that she got all dirty.
there's a curt knock at the door ten minutes later, and then it opens. simon shuts the door behind him, cracking his neck by moving it from side to side before narrowing his eyes at you. you bite your lip, blinking, forgetting suddenly why he is here when he looks so fucking good. he's got a sweatshirt on under his windbreaker, worn jeans tucked into his boots; you like these jeans, his ass looks incredible in them.
"wot happened?" he asks. you stand, remembering your place. your lip starts trembling, and simon's eyes soften just a little. he's wearing his balaclava, hood up over his head and jacket zipped up, shadowing any true expression on his face. his gait sounds heavy as he lets his hands out of his pockets, coming towards you. when he steps into the kitchen, his eyes dart towards your roommate who's still on the floor, laid out unnaturally just by the oven.
he lets out a low breath, clicking his tongue under the mask. you hold your breath as you wait for his reaction.
"bloody hell," simon mutters, reaching up and throwing his hood off. you wring your hands together nervously, your eyes beginning to sting with tears. you brace for the accusations, for the inevitable terror of facing the music. simon is military, for fuck's sake, why the fuck did you think turning to him would be a good idea?
"i...i-i--" you start, looking up at him, and he holds up a hand, taking the side of your face into his palm before smoothing a gloved thumb over your bottom lip. you blink in confusion, not understanding.
"'s olright, baby," he shushes you, shaking his head. "don't cry."
"simon, i--" you sputter a little, gripping his wrist gently. "i just--i couldn't do it anymore, she just--"
he pities you. maybe you can explain. maybe if you tell him a warped story of what happened, he can help you. he must know someone. he must have important friends, he must--
he uses his free hand to move his mask up over his nose, and you lean into him when he bends, kissing you warmly. your eyes flutter shut, and you shuffle closer as he kisses you sloppy, kisses you hot. you mewl as he slips his tongue into your mouth, licking over your teeth and humming low as he pulls away. his eyes are flashing.
mmm. love.
"hmm..." simon licks his lips, smiling a little. he looks over you, almost pensive, his eyes scanning over your face before he settles back on your eyes. it's tender, the way he looks at you. romantic. "let's get this off of ya."
he reaches for the large shirt you are wearing, pulling it up and over your head. he crumples it into a ball before tossing it on top of your roommate, nodding his head behind you.
it's then that you realize simon isn't going to do the noble thing. he isn't going to call the police. he isn't going to turn you in, make you explain, he seems uninterested in knowing what really happened. no, he already knows what happened. but that's not important.
his pretty, perfect girl got into a little trouble. and he's going to make this go away.
"go on, luv. take a nice shower, yeah?" simon turns you around and pushes on your back gently. you suck in a shaky breath when he fondles your ass, pulling on your panties gently. "mmm...take these off, too."
you slip your panties down your legs, handing them to him.
"they have blood on them, too?" you ask, wiping your face, and he chuckles lowly.
"nah," he shrugs, stuffing them into his back pocket after taking a little sniff. "these are just for me."
jesus fucking christ, there's really something wrong with him. there's something really, really wrong with him.
and something wrong with me.
simon looks you up and down, his eyes catching on your naked body for just a few moments before he nods his head again.
"go on," he tells you. "before i get distracted." you pause for a moment, tilting your head back a little as he reaches out and cups one of your breasts in his big hand. you bite your lip, swallowing back a heavy breath as he flicks his thumb over your nipple gently. "greatest tits 've ever seen," he mumbles, scrunching his nose under the mask before he lets you go. "yeah, go on, baby." it takes everything in you to walk away when you see him reach down with that same hand and grip his bulge through his jeans, adjusting himself as he turns back to the mess in the kitchen.
when you shut the bathroom door behind you, you hear shuffling in the living room. the coffee table scraping. the couch being pushed. the rustle of the rug you have there. he grunts a little, and you hear his boots track from the kitchen back to the living room.
you turn the water on hot. you decide to take a bath, not looking at yourself in the mirror as you sink into the tub and plug the drain. you make the water scalding, and it soothes your sore muscles as you rest your cheek against the edge of the tub and stare at the door.
you're not sure how long you stay there. long enough for the water to nearly slosh over the edge of the tub and for simon to swing the bathroom door open, seemingly done with his...tasks.
he's taken his sweatshirt off. just a black t-shirt tucked into jeans, and there's a slight pant to his breaths that tell you he's exerted some energy. you notice he has his gloves still on, but before he touches you, he takes them off and tosses them into the sink.
"move over," simon mutters, starting to undress. you look up at him as he undoes the button on his pants, shucking his shirt off and into the corner before dropping his jeans. the water swishes as you sit up, and you swallow hard when simon kicks his boots and pants off, his cock hanging heavy as his mask is the last to hit the floor.
fuck, he's so pretty.
he has no regard for his size. he simply steps into the tub behind you, taking a seat. he looks comically large in your small bathtub, and you squeak a little as the water spills over the edge of the bath and wets the floor. he hums as he feels the hot water on his back. you don't say anything as his hands start to turn the water a little red. you just look up, away, at him.
you shuffle between his legs, tucking yourself into his space. you can't help but look him up and down, admiring his naked physique. he's just hot. big arms, thick thighs, sunburnt tattoos and scars cutting across his face. he hasn't shaved today, so there's some stubble along his jaw, but your eyes focus a little too much on his girthy length, heavy as it sits on his stomach and leaks a little there. his fat stomach, all solid and pudgy, such a nice place for you to rest your hands.
"you did good today," simon says finally. you look at him, and he tilts his head to the side. his approval makes your chest warm. "callin' me like tha'. wot a good girl you are."
keeping quiet on the phone is what he doesn't add out loud.
you purse your lips, trying not to keen at the praise, but it's hard not to when he reaches over and slides his hand over your shoulder, thumbing at your jaw.
"i-i didn't...didn't know what to do," you admit, and he clicks his tongue, shaking his head. you didn't know what to do, so you called him. level-headed enough to not do something rash and call someone else, no, you called him.
"mmm...tha's wot i'm 'ere for, luv," simon soothes you. "made such a little mess..."
you close your eyes. it's sick. deranged. fuck, it feels nice.
why don't i feel anything?
"i know. i'm sorry."
"nothin' ta be sorry about."
you slump into his arms, resting your cheek on his solid chest. you can feel his cock pulsing against your tummy, and you adjust yourself in the water, straddling him as you rest your chin on his pecs and look up at him through watery eyes.
you aren't sad. no. not sad at all. simon has shown you what he will do for the you. the lengths he will go. what he'll forgive just to take care of you. he's so capable, so understanding.
sick. twisted. mine.
"then i'll just say thank you," you mumble, grinding your hips slowly. simon hums, a wicked smile coming over his scarred face. he licks over his bottom lip, big hands gripping you by the fat of your hips as you grip the edges of the tub for stability. "say thank you to my big, strong man for taking such good care of me..."
he chuckles, his eyes lowering, watching your tits sway as you fit your pussy over his length and grind down on him.
"tha' so, baby?"
you nod.
"mhm," you whine. "how can i thank you, my big boy? how can i show you how grateful i am for cleaning up after me, hmm?" you bend at the waist, kissing him wet and warm, and he hisses as you suck his tongue into your mouth. he tastes like cigarettes, and normally you would curse him for it, but right now it tastes so much like him, and you lick around his teeth trying to taste more of that sweet nicotine.
"fuck--such a naughty little girl..." he snickers, reaching down. you sigh when he slides his big palms over your ass, forcing you to grind slower, the tip of his cock sliding through your folds leisurely. you grip the edges of the tub tighter, pressing down to give you more leverage to grind down harder. "make such a mess, oll the time..." you gasp when he presses into you just enough, the tip breaching your entrance and forcing you to squeeze around him, your cunt trying to suck him in. "olways needin' me ta pick up afta ya..."
you giggle, sliding your hands up his chest, gripping his shoulders for leverage as you sink down onto him. he grits his teeth as you do, his eyes focused on the way his cock disappears inch by inch until you're seated down in his lap, his length kissing deep and twitching excitedly. he always feels like a teenager again whenever you fuck--like you're the first pretty girl to ever wet his cock.
you cup his cheeks finally, smoothing your thumbs under his eyes as you bring his gaze up to meet yours. you swallow hard, looking down at him.
"i-i love you, simon," you breathe. he stills underneath you, his jaw clenching as he frowns just a little. you come a little closer, nuzzling your nose against his, your thumb falling to trace the outline of his torn lip. "i should've said it a long time ago...i-i..."
"heart's beatin' out y'r chest, luv," he mutters lowly. "'s olright...'m not goin' anywhere."
it's so disgusting. you should be fucking ill. you should be scrambling to the toilet, your breakfast halfway up your throat. you should be crying, emotional, begging simon to tell the cops that it was all your fault, because it is. he should've come here and made you do the level-headed thing and confess your terrible crime.
he shouldn't be here, sitting underneath you in your tub, cock-deep inside of you after helping you commit murder and then fucking clean it all up.
"what did i do?" you gasp, sitting up. you move to get out of the tub, but simon growls, putting two firm hands on your ass and shoving you back down on his cock, making you cry. "w-what did i do? s-simon, why don't i feel bad, why am i not sorry--?!"
simon tsks, feigning comfort. he juts his bottom lip out into a pout, mocking your little cries.
"oh, luvvie, don't start cryin' now," he chuckles. "don't start pretending like y'care."
uhm...
"simon--"
"no one likes a liar."
you're still trying to pretend, and he knows this. you're still trying to act how someone normally would react. someone normal, someone who thinks rationally, would never have picked up the pan in the first place. and even if they had, they would've scrambled, cried, picked up the phone and confessed, called an ambulance as they tried to get her to start breathing again, put both hands on her chest and tried to get her wake up.
but you didn't. you watched, unnervingly calm, as she stained the hardwood with her blood. you watched as her eyes glassed over, lifeless, and you watched as her insides began to paint the floor in abstract shapes as you gave it time to spread. and not once during that time, or waiting for simon, did you think to help her.
you didn't want to help her. and you certainly didn't think she deserved to get back up. maybe she hadn't done anything quite harsh enough to deserve death in someone else's eyes. annoying, overbearing, rude.
but it's hard to feel bad when she talked about simon. when she called him by his name. when you've seen her let her towel slip when he's in her vicinity, trying to coax him into her room when you're looking away.
you should've taken one of the throwing knives that simon hides in his boot and thrown it at her then, just for that.
"we're cut from the same bloody cloth, baby," simon says, almost accusingly. you grip the edges of the tub, trying to stand again, but he cants his hips and fucks up into you, drawing a frenzied moan out of you. you reach for his shoulders as he does it again, his tongue darting out before he licks a fat stripe over your pebbled nipple. "'s olright. 's okay, luv. don't worry. don't hafta get y'r hands dirty, swee'eart, i've got it."
"but simon," you whine, but all he does is shake his head. you don't have to put on this morality act for him. you don't have to pretend that you are sorry for something that you had every right to do, you don't have to explain to him why you aren't feeling the way you should be feeling.
simon doesn't care about how you should feel. he only cares about how you actually feel.
"she was in y'r way," simon grunts. "always bein' a bloody brat." he fists your hair and brings your mouth to his, groaning as you tighten around his cock. "'ow many times did she fuck ya over, baby, hmm? 'ow many times did she steal y'r fuckin' things, come outta the loo wearin' nothin' but her fuckin' knickers, yeah? 'ow many times?"
you kiss him, frantic, digging your nails into his pecs and dragging them angrily.
yeah. fuck her. fuck what she did to me, fuck the way she behaved, fuck her stupid face and her stupid attitude and her stupid little games.
"called ya names..." he's hitting your sweet spot now, making you cry from pleasure. your pussy feels so hot, squeezing him because you know he's right, and the way he fucks this time makes you think he really knows what you are and knows exactly how to get you there. "wot a fuckin' twat. deserved every bit o' it, baby."
you meet his eyes, dark and cruel. he's still moving, still holding onto your hips and drawing out little whines, but it's different suddenly, it's more. you nod, understanding.
simon is terrible. no good. his head isn't in the right place, maybe it never has been. you wonder, briefly, if this is what he does when he's at work, if these are the things that he's used to. maybe simon has been in service too long--maybe he doesn't understand that you aren't at war here, that you can't just kill and clean up, that you aren't in the field.
"she deserved it," you whimper, and he grins, all teeth, all mean.
"tha's it."
"she was such a bitch."
"fuckin' right."
"she got what was coming for her."
"nnghhh--fuck, baby, gonna make me fuckin' cum, tolkin' like tha'," he hisses. you practically smack him as you grab onto his scarred face, gritting your teeth as you glare down at him. his lips part, and you spit in his mouth as he fucks up into you, thighs hitting your ass with a wet smack that makes your head spin.
"and i'll get rid of the next bitch that so much as looks your way, simon."
the kiss is searing. hot, blinding, white noise fills your ears as he cums with you, stuffing you full as he cums hard, a pained groan leaving him as he collapses against the porcelain tub with a harsh thud. you follow him, chasing after him, kissing him between heavy breaths as you don't make any effort to move off of him. when simon opens his eyes, he can't help but smile.
he's never seen his reflection without a mirror.
#awwwwwwwwww thanks for taking care of me pookie#thanks for indulging my terrible mind and telling me its okay ;)#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost mwii#ghost x reader#cod#call of duty#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley smut#simon thoughts#dark!ghost#dark!simon
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Uncharacteristically upset about The Disabilities tonight. Thought I was over this by now. What the fuck
#why could I not have been born fucking normal. or at the very least had all this shit set on later#why could I not have had actual good doctors who didn't let me get so sick I'm now permanently fucked up forever bcuz of it.#I'm so tired of going to bed every night wondering if I'll have a heart attack because my chest hurts and is squeezing and I Know it's-#-from my ribs but if it Was my heart I'd never know. and my heart doesn't work properly anyways.#I'm tired of needing to lay down after I do basic fucking things like take a shower or washing one dish#I'm sick of wanting to go outside or run or dance and not being able to anymore#I'm so sick of not being able to go to class or draw or play video games bcuz my neck seizes up after too long#I'm sick of always being in pain.#I'm sick of being sick.#I'm so over this shit dude. there is no god because surely one of them would've had enough mercy to fucking kill me before all this#fucking Christ dude I'm so fucking done with all of this bullshit. I need to be put down or some shit#and what's worse is I know I comparatively don't even have it that bad. so I have no reason to be as upset as I am.#I'm royally fucked up but not enough to actually matter.#armchair speaks#vent post#I mean fucking hell dude. my parents were gonna have me terminated bcuz the doctors thought I was gonna have birth defects#they probably wish they'd gone thru with it atp. can't say I'd blame em either
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my daily routine essentials!
this is my current list of tasks that help me feel motivated, confident in myself, and able to overcome any major hurdles that ADHD throws my way. many of these are non-negotiable for me as they help me move on to the next task without anxiety or decision paralysis. i encourage everyone to find what works best for them! ♥︎
morning:
wake up at 8:00am
brush teeth and take meds
shower, wash hair, and get dressed
simple am skincare routine
make bed and open blinds
brush hair and do makeup
eat a quick breakfast
daily tasks:
accomplish scariest work or personal tasks first
practice guitar for at least an hour, ideally longer
practice piano for at least 30 minutes, ideally longer
complete workout or stretching routine of the day
evening:
start wind down at 8:00pm
tidy up bedroom and office
pick clothes + pack bag for the next day
complete pet related tasks
eat a snack and do dishes
write out to-do list for the next day
brush teeth + pm skincare routine
get into pyjamas and brush hair
go over dream life script or pinterest
yoga nidra + SATS
asleep by 12:00
#becoming that girl#dream girl#dream life#girlblogging#glow up#it girl#productivity#that girl#clean girl#pink pilates girl#wonyoungism#self care#self improvement
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7 Days - Chris Sturniolo Fanfic ("No Hands" Extension)
。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆。。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆
Summary: Over the next 7 days, Chris made sure to use his reward whenever he got the chance. After winning the bet, his hands had seemed to gravitate towards your body. He would caress, kiss, and hold you more than normal, if that were even possible. In the 7 days that he could do whatever he wanted, you felt nothing shy of love, lust, and exhilaration. You were considering making the deal a permanent thing.
Warnings: MDNI/ smut/ chrisxfem!reader/ bf!chris/ sexually suggestive content/ touchy!chris x needy!reader/ slightly obsessive! chris/ fingering/ use of "you"/ PDA/ couldn't tell ya how many words
A/N: This is an extension of my fanfic "No Hands." To understand the context of this fic, check this one out. This has a lot of words, because there are 7 days' worth of blurbs in this fic, given the title. I am still new to writing, so bear with me. Interactions are appreciated! Pls don't steal my shit. Thx! 💋
Shoutout to @twirler2009 for this super sexy suggestion.
。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆。。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆
Day 1
Nick, Matt, and Chris had left the house to film a video. Their parents would be coming to visit from Boston the next day. You decide to get a head start on cleaning while no one else was in the house. You do the dishes, wipe off all the surfaces, sweep and mop the floors, and do some laundry. The scent of cleaning supplies, laundry detergent, and a freshly lit candle fill the air. The boys arrive back home and take in the look of the house.
"It looks great in here!" Nick says in awe.
"Wow. Thank you for cleaning. Normally I have to do all the work," Matt says, shooting you a smile.
"Oh, shut up, Matt," Nick and Chris say in unison.
Chris immediately approaches you. He takes you into his arms, lifts you up, and spins you around. Once your feet hit the floor, his hands meet your face, and his lips find yours. He kisses you long and deep, sliding his tongue into your mouth. Chris normally touches you in front of his brothers, but he's never kissed you around them like this. It’s clear he’s going to make the most out of this deal.
"Umm. HELLO, Chris! Me and Matt are still standing here," Nick says waving his hands, trying to capture Chris' attention. Matt looks down at his feet. The two of them don't know how to react to seeing Chris swap spit with you.
Despite Nick's attempt to stop your kiss, Chris doesn't move away from you until he wants to. He prolongs the kiss for a few more moments.
"Thank you so much for cleaning. You didn't have to do that," he says, placing a final peck to your lips.
"We get it Chris! You and your girlfriend kiss. Now can we please stop before I actually throw up. Thanks!" Nick says covering his eyes and walking out of the room.
You, Chris, and Matt giggle as Matt follows Nick out of the room.
"I'm going to go take a shower, then we can watch a movie or something," Chris says leaning in to kiss you again.
"Oh yeah? Just like how we watched a movie yesterday, right?" you say, flicking up an eyebrow and kissing him back. Just remembering his mouth touching you where his hands couldn’t, causes your skin to break out in goosebumps.
"I mean, I'm down for that too," Chris says, winking at you.
He picks you up and you wrap your legs around his torso as he carries you to his bedroom. Chris sits you down gently on his bed. After grabbing some clothes, your boyfriend approaches you. His eyes scan your face. When his gaze lands on your lips, his tongue skims across his own. He just couldn’t get enough. The two of you are never going to be able to get anything done with this constant need for physical contact. He tilts his face towards yours, missing the warmth of your lips and the sweet flavor that accompanies them. You avoid his lips and softly peck the tip of his nose.
"Go take a shower, Chris," you say.
Chris grabs your chin and pulls you towards his face.
"Only after you kiss me," he says, pressing his lips into yours tenderly.
You practically melt into Chris as he draws out the kiss. Every movement that his mouth makes is very thought out, wanting to savor your taste and touch while he leaves you to take a shower.
。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆。。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆
Day 2
While Matt and Nick go to the airport to pick up their parents, Jimmy and Mary Lou, you and Chris go to the store to pick up some materials before they close. Mary Lou had sent you a grocery list because she planned on using a family recipe to make dinner the next day.
While walking throughout the aisles at the store, Chris insisted that the both of you push the cart together. Your hands wrapped around the bar of the cart, and Chris' rested on top of yours. Chris stayed behind you, sandwiching you in between the cart and himself. He pressed his body against yours as the two of you searched for the items on the list. Chris lifted one of his hands and moved all of your hair to one side. He put his hand back in its place and began to kiss your neck.
“Chris,” you gasp. “We are in public.”
Chris’ lips move to your ear as he tightens his grip on your hands.
“I won fair and square. Remember?” he whispers. You can tell he has a grin on his face by the tone in his voice. His lips then reconnect with your neck, biting down and sucking gently.
Eventually, Chris moves your hair again and switches sides. Your mouth had fallen open, your heart was pounding, your mind was fuzzy, and your knees were weak. You grip onto the cart tighter, needing stability. The feeling of him devouring your skin made you stop in your track's multiple times. Chris kept pushing forward, forcing you to continue walking. Now that you’re unable to think clearly, Chris has to guide the cart down the correct aisles. He only glances up with his eyes to navigate, his mouth never leaving you. By the time you reach the register, your neck is flushed all over and Chris' lips are swollen.
“Did you guys find everything alright?” the cashier asks as Chris throws the items onto the conveyor belt.
“Yes, we did,” Chris says, slowly looking at you with a smug look on his face. The sight of you all hot and bothered along with the markings on your neck suddenly remind him of something.
“Oh, wait! Do you guys sell condoms?”
You shoot Chris a look, silently telling him to shut his mouth.
“What?” he says, confused by the look on your face. “We used the last one last night…I know you remember,” he smiles at you cockily, clearly proud of his performance after he got out of the shower.
You shove your elbow into his ribs.
“Chris!?”
“Umm… yeah. There should be some like 4 rows to your left,” the cashier replies, his eyes looking between you and your boyfriend.
“Okay. You stay here and I’ll go grab those,” Chris says, placing a kiss on your forehead and shooting finger guns at you before running off.
“I’m sorry about him,” you say to the cashier as he scans your items.
“Don’t worry about it. What’re you guys making?” he replies, changing the conversation topic.
“Lasagna.”
“Is it date night?”
“No, his parents are coming in town. His mom is going to cook a family recipe tomorrow night.”
“Ahh. I gotcha,” the cashier says as he scans the last few items.
You see Chris returning with a bottle of Pepsi and two packs of condoms in his hands. He places the items on the conveyor belt.
“Hey. Thanks man,” Chris says shooting the cashier a smile.
“No problem.”
Chris turns his attention towards you, his expression full of enthusiasm, as he points to the second box of condoms.
“Look what I found! I literally thought flavored condoms were like a figment of my imagination but turns out they’re very much real. We have to try them. Do a little taste test. You know?”
There is simply no other way for you to react to Chris’ excitement than to palm your face and slowly shake your head. The cashier lets out a chuckle as he puts the last few things in a bag. Chris pays the cashier while you load the bags in the cart.
“You guys have a great night,” the cashier says with a smile on his face.
“Oh trust me, we will,” Chris says smirking at him as he places you in between himself and the cart once again.
。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆。。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆
Day 3
The smell of lasagna and garlic bread makes your mouth water as Mary Lou finishes cooking. Everyone floods into the kitchen and a line is formed. The food is set up buffet style. Whenever you and Chris get to the front of the line, he fixes your plate of food first and then makes his own once you’re satisfied. The two of you then walk to the dining room to join everyone else. Chris sits both of your plates down on the table. He then pulls his own chair out and immediately sits down. You look at him and furrow your brow. Chris always pulls your chair out for you, and you start to wonder why he didn’t this time. As soon as you begin to reach for the top of your chair, you feel Chris’ arm sneak around your thigh.
“What’re you doing?” he questions, staring up at you with “innocent” eyes.
You look up confused and everyone else seems to do the same. Chris then stretches his legs out.
“I want you to sit with me.”
“Chris there’s a seat right be-fucking-side you,” Nick says clearly confused.
“That seat’s taken,” Chris says nodding his head towards the completely empty chair. “This one isn’t.”
Chris nods his head downward and opens his legs even wider, dusting off his thighs. He moves his arm to your waist and gently pulls you onto his lap. He then picks up his fork and starts to eat nonchalantly. Everyone else has halted, all looking around slightly puzzled.
“Chris, why don’t you just let her sit in her own chair?” Jimmy asks, genuinely wanting to know the reasoning.
“Because she insists on going to her own house tomorrow so me, Matt, and Nick can spend some time with you guys one on one.”
“You’re more than welcome to join us,” Mary Lou says, smiling at you.
“I really appreciate it, but I think we can go a day without seeing each other,” you laugh gesturing at Chris with your eyes.
“How much do you want to bet it won’t even last an entire day?” Matt asks giggling.
Chris rubs small circles over your thigh with his thumb while everyone gambles. The stakes get higher and higher. Everyone looks to you, waiting to hear your response.
“I would love to bet all the money that I have; but I’m not very good at winning bets,” you say, shifting in Chris' lap and giving him a smirk. There's a stiffness that begins to form underneath of you. A soft peck is placed on your shoulder as Chris begins to gently squeeze your inner thigh, desperately trying to control himself.
。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆。。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆
Day 4
The next morning, Chris wants to stay in bed a little longer than normal, not wanting you to go back to your house. He holds you close hoping to keep you that way forever. As you say your goodbyes to everyone, Chris is right on your heels. While talking to Jimmy, Chris slides in between the two of you, hugging you tightly. You have to look over his shoulder to continue the conversation, as if nothing happened. After a few minutes, he releases his tight grip and lazily slumps his body against yours. You finish your conversation with Jimmy and begin to step towards Nick and Matt. Chris interlocks his fingers with yours, holding your hand as you walk a singular foot. He sits on the arm of the couch and pulls your body against his while you talk. Finally, you chat with Mary Lou. As your conversation continues, Chris hugs you from behind and places gentle kisses to the top of your head.
"Okay, Chris. I get that your upset, but can you please release her from your grasp for 3 fucking seconds?" Nick asks.
"Oh, Nick be nice. I think it's sweet," Mary Lou states, showing Chris a small smile.
"Mom, you may think it's cute now, but you don't realize that this is an every single day occurance," Matt chimes in, backing Nick up.
Chris walks you to the door after you say a final goodbye to everyone. He wraps his arms around you, burying his face into your neck. He gently grabs your chin and places a longing kiss to your lips.
"I love you," he somehow manages to mutter.
"I'll see you, tomorrow. I love you," you say before walking out of the door. Despite your words, you knew that your night would end with you asleep in Chris' bed.
You sat at your house for hours, bored out of your mind. There was no Chris to keep you entertained. You could detect the feeling of your skin being left untouched. His text messages could only do so much.
You willingly take an Uber to Chris' house, not wanting him to see your car there, hoping to prank him. You sit on the edge of his bed, waiting for him to arrive. Eventually, the front door creaks open and Chris calls your name. The sound of 3 pairs of footsteps head towards your direction and you can hear Chris, Nick, and Matt talking.
"Chris she isn't here," Matt says.
"Yes, she is."
"Chris you are fucking insane," Nick replies.
Suddenly the door busts open and the three men enter the room. Matt and Nick's eyes grow wide when they see you.
"I knew it," Chris says, a huge grin taking over his face. "Get your ass over here."
You slowly start to walk towards Chris. He speeds up the process by grabbing your arm and yanking you towards him. His hands slide under your pajama shorts and squeeze your ass roughly as he hungrily kisses your lips. He seems like he's been starved for attention.
"That is disgusting. Let's get the fuck out of here," Nick says pushing Matt out of the room before stepping out himself, slamming the door behind him.
。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆。。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆
Day 5
You feel something brush across your collarbone. Then something touches your jaw. Now your cheek. There's pressure on your lips.
You flick your eyes open and see Chris on top of you, peppering you with kisses to wake you up.
"Goodmorning," he says continuing to kiss your body. "Nick and Matt left so we get to spend the morning together."
"Okay," you say, smiling up at Chris.
You softly kiss his lips before he turns over. He pulls you on top of him and you nuzzle up to him quickly.
His hand gently massages your head, and your hand runs up and down his abs.
His hand draws patterns on your back while you twirl his hair around your finger.
Your thumb grazes across his stubble while his fingers slide back and forth in the waistband of your shorts.
The two of you stay in bed for hours, soaking in the presence of each other as you touch one another in any way that you can.
。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆。。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆
Day 6
Chris asks if Nick and Matt will have a game night with you two. After lots and lots of convincing, they finally agreed. Chris had his heart set on Twister, for whatever reason. Matt chooses to hold the spinner for the first round while you, Chris, and Nick play.
“Alright guys, left foot on blue,” Matt says.
The game doesn’t go smoothly for very long. After just a few more directions, you, Chris, and Nick are all intertwined with each other.
“Right hand green.”
As you reach for the green dot, you slip, pulling Chris down with you.
“Nick wins,” Matt says laughing at the flailing limbs on the ground.
“Yes! Give me that fucking spinner,” Nick replies, snatching it out of Matt’s grasp.
You, Chris, and Matt prepare to take your turn.
“Right foot red,” Nick says, starting the three of you off.
After a few more rotations, Matt falls on his elbow, leaving just you and Chris. He gives you a competitive sneer.
“Left hand yellow.”
You are now on all fours with you head under Chris’ torso. He is straddling your body with both of his hands on the left side of your hip.
“Right hand red.”
You move your hand and your back arches as you stretch to reach the circle. Your head is now directly between Chris' kneecaps. As Chris moves his hand, his face is placed right at the top of your arch, staring directly at your ass.
“Hey, maybe we should try this position tonight,” Chris jokes.
Matt’s eyes go wide and Nick screams.
“WHATTTTT?! Christopher you are fucking sick. I am not playing this game with you anymore. You need help and now SO DO I,” Nick says, dropping the spinner. Matt starts to make his way out of the room and Nick follows right behind him.
Chris hits the floor as he begins to laugh, rolling onto his back.
“I win,” you say, straddling him before leaning down to meet his lips.
。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆。。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆
Day 7
You and Chris had planned to meet your friends at the movies. You were really liking how touchy Chris was being, given his reward. It is for sure that you didn't want him to stop anytime soon, even though this would mark 7 days of you losing the bet. To ensure that Chris would be extra touchy, you decide to wear a more revealing outfit; a low hanging top with the tiniest jean skirt that you own. You meet Chris in the living room. When you enter the room, you find him sitting on the couch, his phone in his hand. The sound of your heeled shoes grabs his attention but doesn't hold it for long. You give him a spin and his jaw hits the ground.
"I am so glad I won this bet. There is no way I would've survived if you decided to dress like that and wouldn't let me touch you."
You can practically see the drool coming out of his mouth.
"Well, what are you waiting for then?" you question, walking over to him, coming to a stop between his legs. He looks up at you from his seated position. You can see the want in his eyes. He slides both of his hands under the back of your skirt. Your thong didn't cover much. Chris gently squeezes your, almost completely bare, ass under your skirt. He throws his head back as he swallows hard, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. He brings his head back forward and rests his forehead on your stomach.
"You know what? Maybe we should just stay home," Chris suggests.
You pick his head up by sliding your finger under his chin, forcing him to look into your eyes.
"No. We can't do that. Our friends are waiting on us," you say seductively, gently pulling down his lower lip with your thumb.
You begin to slowly back away from him and walk towards the door, dramatically swaying your hips. You pull out some lip gloss from your bag, purposefully dropping it on the floor.
"Come on, Chris."
You turn to look at him before bending over to retrieve your lip gloss, revealing the thong underneath of your skirt. You stay in that position until Chris makes his way over to you. As he smacks your ass, you stand up, leading him out of the door.
"You just wait until we get back home," he says with trouble written all over his face.
Before heading into the theater, you make sure to grab a blanket from your car, knowing that your legs will get cold. Chris places his hand in your back pocket as the two of you walk to meet up with your friends. You hit up the snack bar, grabbing some popcorn and two Pepsis. As the group files into the theater, Chris makes sure that the two of you go first. He wants you to sit in the end seat. You sit down, draping the blanket over your legs. The two of you chat with your friends while you wait for the movie to start. Eventually the lights dim, and everything goes quiet.
Throughout the entire movie, you are desperately trying to get Chris' attention. You begin to slide your leg up and down Chris'. You can see him trying to keep his composure. You then glide your hand onto his thigh, rubbing it gently. He wraps his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him. You remove your hand from Chris' leg and grab some popcorn. You can see Chris turn to you from the corner of your eye. You need him. Bad. You begin to eat the popcorn gradually, piece by piece. You provocatively take the popcorn into your mouth, pulling in each piece carefully with your tongue. You look at Chris, making eye contact. After the last few pieces slide into your mouth, you slowly take your fingers into your mouth, one by one. After licking the mixture of butter and salt off of each finger, painfully slow, you let your tongue graze across your lips and release a soft hum. You place your hand back on Chris' thigh and face the big screen once again. Chris' eyes are still fixated on you. You trail your hand up his leg, getting closer and closer to his dick. You barely graze over it with your pinky. Chris pulls you even further into him.
"What're you doing?" he murmurs.
"Nothing," your eyes never leave the screen.
"You look too good to be doing this right now," he says kissing your temple tenderly.
"You think I look good?" you ask, turning to finally look at him.
"Without a doubt."
You lean into Chris' ear, letting them rest of your fingers meet your pinky.
"And what're you going to do about that?" you question, pulling away from his ear.
"Take the fucking popcorn," Chris mutters lowly, pushing the bucket into your hands.
He slides his hand under your blanket, immediately feeling the wetness pool between your legs. Without hesitation, he moves your thong to the side and dips his fingers into you, curling them right into you G spot. You walls pull him in and you start to squeeze your legs together, searching for more pressure. You grip onto the popcorn bucket, shoving some into your mouth to drown out the sounds of your whimpers. You begin to squirm around in your seat slightly. Chris speeds up his pace, pumping his fingers in and out of you. You start to bounce one of your feet up and down. You take one hand off of the popcorn bucket and grasp onto the arm of your chair, squeezing tightly as you feel your insides tighten. Luckily, a joke was just made in the movie, earning a laugh from the crowd. You were discreetly able to let out a low moan as you came onto Chris' fingers. He pulled them out of you and grabbed some popcorn out of the bucket. He watched you catch your breath as the buzz died down. He then tossed the pieces of popcorn into his mouth, making sure to lick the remnants of you off of his fingers after he was done. He shakes his head as his tongue pokes against his cheek, a scoff falling from his lips.
"Just wait 'til we get fucking home."
#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#the sturniolo triplets#sturniolo triplets#nicholas sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo smut#smutty fanfiction#smutty smut smut#blurb#chris x you#chris x reader#chris sturniolo fanfic#bf!chris
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pretty genius boy
summary: spencer gets a haircut!
a/n: i am obsessed with jesus spencer and boyband spencer so… i decided to do a little fic abt him because he’s my husband (im delulu)
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the front door to mine and spencer’s apartment opened, signaling that he was home.
he was earlier than expected.
and so was i.
i kept washing the few dishes that were left in the sink, blowing at a strand of hair that tickled my face when it grazed my cheek with my lips drawn to the side without looking up as spencer wandered into my line of sight, greeting me with a quick “hey” that caught my attention. he wasn’t looking at me, but at a file from work in his hands.
when i looked up i dropped the glass in my hand and then flinched when it hit the sink basin with a loud thud. “oh, my god!” i raised my voice is shock. “your hair!”
he flinched at the glass thudding into the sink and then pursed his lips into a smile. “yeah,” he nodded. “what about it?”
i scoffed, abandoning my chore with soap still clinging and dripping from my hands. “what about it?” i reiterated. “spencer… you chopped it all off!” i reached him and we stood toe to toe and i was craning my neck to see his new haircut. he looked very different.
he frowned a little. “is that bad?”
i shook my head quickly to make his frown disappear. “no, no, it’s just… i thought someone broke in at first glance.” i stifled a laugh, reaching a soapy hand to his hair. “give me an hour and i’ll tell you how i feel about it.”
spencer nodded, laughing gently to himself at how i was looking at him. “okay.” he leaned down to my height and kissed my forehead. “i missed you.”
“i missed you too.” i smiled into the second long contact. “and i miss your hair!” i frowned.
he smiled. “it was too hot.”
“you’re right.” i agreed with my arms crossing over my chest.
“i think you misunderstood the correct meaning of the word ‘hot’ in this context.” spencer told me.
i whined. “stop being so… genius. let me mourn the loss of your beautiful hair.”
spencer rolled his eyes. “okay. you mourn, i’m gonna go shower.”
i nodded and watched him disappear into our bedroom before walking back to the kitchen. i dried my hands and grabbed my phone, dialing penelope’s number.
“hello my lovely!” she answered the phone in the same cheerful manner she always does. “what’s up?”
“spencer got a haircut.” i told her.
she gasped, already intrigued. “what’s it look like? please tell me it’s not bad.”
i laughed. “it’s not bad it’s just… i wasn’t expecting it at all when he came home. it’s so short.”
“how short are we talking?” she asked.
i hummed. “think like… harry styles from one direction, but less fluffy.”
the woman squealed over the phone. “oh, reid has a boyband haircut!” i could hear her typing quickly before she stopped, there was silence and then she giggled.
“what’s so funny?”
“i can’t wait to see his hair! he always has good haircuts. and if it’s anything like harry styles i’m going to go insane.”
i laughed. “i told him to give me an hour to get used to it. i like it when it’s long because i can braid it.”
she gave me a pitiful ‘awe’ and then asked, “do you think he’ll grow it back out?”
i hummed. “have you seen all the haircuts he’s had over the last few years? he never sticks to one for too long.”
penelope agreed with a simple hum as i started walking towards our bedroom. “i’m gonna go, just wanted to update you on the ever changing plot of my life.” i chuckled, seeing the bathroom door adjoined to our bedroom open slightly.
“i enjoy the updates. say hi to boy genius for me!”
“i will.” i laughed and then hung up the phone prior to pulling the bathroom door wider for my entrance and then pushing it partially closed again. spencer was hidden behind the dark olive green shower curtain but that didn’t stop me from peeking around it to stare at him.
his back was to me but i still focused on his wet hair that was a few shades darker and the smallest sight of muscle definition over his back.
maybe i didn’t need an hour for his short hair to grow on me.
i withdrew my head from the shower curtain and left the bathroom, smiling to myself with the fond thought of him in my head.
i went back to the kitchen to finish the dishes and by the time i was done spencer was back in the room with me, a tee shirt covering his chest and sweatpants covered his legs.
“hi.” he rounded the island in the kitchen to stand beside me at the sink, back to the counter. he looked down at me with the same kind eyes he always had.
i smiled and shut off the running water so that i could move and stand between spencer’s legs. “hi.” i studied his messy towel dried hair prior to reaching up and touching some of the strands, twirling them between my fingers, then letting my hand slide down to touch his face. i looked into his eyes before saying, “i know it hasn’t been an hour, but it’s grown on me.” a smirk slipped over my lips as he grinned as well.
“i knew you wouldn’t need an hour.” he teased lightly, leaning down to capture my lips with his for a brief second.
i scoffed. “how did you know?”
“i’m a profiler, honey.” he reminded.
i nodded gently, sighing contently. “ah, yes. i forgot.” my smile reflected my teasingly feigned innocence that spencer smiled at. “but seriously, i love it. it suits you, and you’re as handsome as ever.” i winked, smiling widely. spencer kissed me again. i could feel how his lips curled into a grin. “pretty genius boy.”
spencer tucked his head into my neck. i knew he was smiling.
i put my fingers in his now short hair, loving how easy it was to comb my fingers through it now.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fic#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid imagines#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid scenario#criminal minds#penelope garcia
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SKZ arguing over the bill
Pairing: ot8!skz × gn!reader (individually)
Genre: fluff
Request: yes!
Warning: mentions of food, reader never pays lmao. Changbin, Chan, Seungmin's were heavily inspired by "Telling your Stray Kids boyfriend you can’t afford to eat out with them" by @ronnierites . If you don't allow this pls lemme know and I'll delete this post. Not proofread
A/n: that's kinda a new format, hope you guys like it! And this have been on my to do list since forever lol sorry for the wait
Bang Chan
Doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable
But he wants to spoil you so badly
Would let you pay if you were uncomfortable but he wants to make sure you get it he would love to pay for you as well
"You know Chris, I can pay for it."
"I know."
"So?"
"I'd rather do it. But thank you baby."
"But-" you stopped talking once you saw his card swiping. You truly should be used at this point "oh."
"Why do I feel like you're unhappy?"
"It's not that I am not happy, it's just that you always pay."
"It's my pleasure."
"But I don't know, I don't want you to think you're being pressured or something like that."
"Babe, I don't feel like that at all. Don't you worry. You're always doing so much for me, that's just a little 'thank you' of mine."
You gave him a little smile and proceeded to hug him, feeling safe in his warmth.
"I'm so lucky to have you."
"I should be the one saying it."
Lee Know
Bro you don't even spare a chance
He's paying before you even have a chance to take your wallet out of your pocket
I'm surprised you even try tbh
"Should we ask for the bill?"
"Oh, I already paid for it, don't worry."
You looked dumbfounded at him while he was finishing his food. You didn't see him talk to a waiter and you're sure he didn't pay for it before you two had your meal.
"What? When?"
"When we were asking for the dishes. Didn't you see it?"
"No?" you tried to recall the moment with no success "Why would you pay? I feel bad that you pay for everything all the time. I don't feel like reciprocating enough."
His eyes soften and a little smile comes to his lips while he watches you pout. If only you knew how much you did for him.
"Hey, look at me. It's okay. You already reciprocate with everything you do. That's already perfect"
Changbin
He pays with the money, you pay back with kisses
Sorry but that's his boyfriend duty
He is physically incapable of not paying for everything
"Hey baby. I'm off work in 40 minutes. I'll pick you up so we can have lunch, okay?"
You were glad that for once you were on a voice call with him instead of being in a face time like you'd usually do. This way he didn't see the way your smile dropped so quickly.
"Um, I don't think I'll be able to."
"Oh? Why?"
"I'm kinda... broke right now. I haven't received my last payment yet."
"Okay? What does that have to do with anything?"
"I don't want you to be the one who always pays for our things. I should be able to pay sometimes."
"You don't need to. That's my boyfriend duty. You know I don't mind, I actually enjoy it quite a lot."
"Still bothers me though. I'd hate to not contribute at all."
"You can always cuddle with me and shower me with kisses. That will make me happier than anything money can buy."
Hyunjin
Stop he'll be like genuinely so sad if he can't pay
He would let you pay if you were really insistent
But then he'll go like :( and you would let him take the bill out of pity lmao
"Hyunjin, stop looking at me like that."
"But darling, I can pay. You know it doesn't bother me."
"Just this once, let me pay, okay?"
"Okay"
"...Jinnie I really need you to stop that."
"I'm not even doing anything."
"Oh God" you sigh and let your head fall, knowing the man beside you won the argument once more "Fine. You can pay."
He didn't waste a second, swiping his card as fast as possible just so you couldn't have the time to change your mind. After he payed the meal, he took your hand in his and started to walk in the direction of the restaurant's exit with a triumphant (and really sweet) smile.
"I swear I don't get why you like to pay so much."
"My love should be treated as royalty, and that includes me paying for everything you wish for."
Han
Bro is offended
Believes with all his heart that he should be the one paying
Tries to distract you when the time to pay comes
"Were you paying while I was in the restroom?"
"... perhaps."
"Han."
"Baby. You know I like to pay for you."
"But you do that all the time."
"It's my way of showing love! If you ask me, I actually don't think it's enough. It's the least I can do."
He could see in your eyes that you weren't convinced. Unfortunately (for you), he only saw that as an opportunity to spend even more money. Maybe then you would believe him.
"C'mon, lemme show you a little bit of love. You can pay me back with thousands of kisses if that's what's bothering you."
Felix
He loves to pay.
If he could, he would pay for absolutely everything that you could ever want or need.
But if that's something which really bothers you, he will let you pay as well
Tries to do that "the one who invites is the one who pays" thing and fails
"Felix. Don't even dare."
He looked at you confused until he realised you were staring at the credit card in his hand, probably hoping that it could disappear before the waiter came back with the bill.
"C'mon, it's just a small lunch. I can pay for it."
"No. I invited you. I pay."
"Actually, if you think about it, I'm the one who suggested this place."
"Two years ago."
"Still counts."
"Not as an invitation though. I'm the one who asked if you wanted to come here."
Felix sighed, knowing he wouldn't be able to convince you of otherwise. If only he could.
"Okay. Next time it's on me."
Seungmin
LMAO sorry you're 100% not paying
Don't even try
Boyfriend duty pt 2 except he is even more dedicated somehow
"Why did you bring your wallet?"
"I wanted to pay for this one."
"... why?"
"You always pay for everything."
"And I don't plan on stopping so you can take your wallet away."
"Minnie, please. I don't want you to be the one who always end up paying for everything."
"But I want to. I wouldn't mind paying for every single thing for the rest of our lives. So you can't take your money away of my sight because I'm paying."
"For the rest of our lives huh?"
"Don't tease." But you didn't miss how the corners of his lips lifted once he thought you weren't looking anymore.
I.N
Rock, paper, scissors. The winner is the one who pays
It's funny and neither of you can complain about the outcome of it because it's technically fair
Except you always throw scissors first and never noticed it
And Jeongin doesn't have the heart to tell you
"We should change this game."
"No way" he said while giving the money to the cashier whilst trying to hide his grin from you "Not my fault you are horrible at this."
"Seriously though, I think you're cheating. It's impossible for you to win every single time."
"How does one cheat at 'rock, paper, scissors'? Besides, you won yesterday."
"After losing at least 50 times. And I got to pay for some ice cream. It's not the same as paying for a whole meal."
"Get better at this and maybe you get to pay for a whole meal one day. C'mon, we can have some milkshake now. Maybe you'll win this time."
You had a feeling you wouldn't though. He was sure you wouldn't.
Reblogs and feedback are appreciated!
Dividers by @cafekitsune
#celi headcanon#skz fluff#stray kids soft thoughts#stray kids#stray kids soft hours#skz x reader#stray kids fluff#skz x you#stray kids x reader#skz#bang chan skz#bang chan fluff#bang chan#lee know#lee know fluff#changbin#changbin fluff#hyunjin#hyunjin fluff#felix#felix fluff#han#han fluff#seungmin#seungmin fluff#i.n#jeongin#i.n fluff
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🗡️ “I’m all for platonic intimacy but this…?”
the subtext of romance is really peeking through 🗡️ friends to lovers scenarios
Person A going to person B’s house to watch a movie but getting looped into playing drunk card games with B and their parents
Working out together and A insisting on spotting B and adjusting their form
B playfully poking A in public and promptly getting tackled
B patting A’s cheek only to accidentally linger as they notice how the light catches in A’s eyes (A is DESPERATELY trying to not blush)
“Here’s the garage code.” “… Why am I receiving this information?” “You’re already over here a lot. My parents think it’s better than a key.”
Forced close proximity at a LAN party because there’s not much room at the table (and A’s arm keeps brushing against B’s, messing up their aim, but if anything the space between them decreases as the night goes on)
The “Oh, is B coming too?” to “A kidnapped me to come here and hang out” pipeline
Going from quick and funny head scratches to absentmindedly stroking/detangling their hair while chatting with friends
“Do I smell okay?” “You smell normal.” “Which is…?” “Like lilac and gooseberry.”
A melting into B’s hug after a long and stressful week
B helping A deal with a major headache by rubbing/scratching their back
A heating up B’s ears with their hands because B forgot ear muffs in winter
“My mom thinks you’re really pretty/handsome.” “My mom thinks you look like Adonis/Aphrodite.” “Can you ever take a compliment?”
Candid pictures give away the softness in B’s eyes when they look at A goofing around
B not minding when A gives them a long hug in public, even though they aren’t big on PDA in general
B drawing a shitpost and sending it to A, A setting it as their lockscreen, and months later B realizes that A still hasn’t changed it
B’s family automatically assuming that A might join for any family function and making A’s favorite dish accordingly
“I have to go into the office this week. Can I crash at your place since it’s closer?”
Hanging out for hours —> “I don’t want you to drive home this late.” —> waking up in each other’s arms because they both refused to let the other sleep on the floor/couch
“My clothes reek of you.” “You could’ve just told me to take a shower.”
#friends to lovers#writing prompts#writing inspiration#writing scenarios#imagine your otp#fluff prompts#slow burn#working out is homoerotic and you cannot tell me otherwise#also I did make this a mixture of things that could absolutely just be platonic or romantic#it’s up to the writer to decide how spicy they want to get with the scenarios
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Hello! I hope you are doing well 😌 you are my fav writer and I just wanted to to throw out this crazy brainrot request to u bc I am SICK over it
So Florence nightingale syndrome right? Toji is like a professional boxer or whatever something athletic bc he's a fucking beast and he gets hurt, like his leg or something, and you become his at home occupational therapist. So you're like taking care of him and he's getting feelings for you while also being a stubborn ass bc u push him constantly so he can get better. and he's super hesitant to accept his feelings bc he's a Playboy of course.
I'm just picturing this one scene where you're helping him up and he's leaning on you and he says something like "are you sure you can handle me princess?" Idk I'm insane I'm sorry 😭😭😭😭
Pairing: boxer!Toji Fushiguro x f!caregiver!Reader
Warnings: Fluff, frustrated Toji, Florence nightingale syndrome, Toji has an injured leg and is a little bitch for a bit
*This was so fun to work on and now I'm having thinking a little too hard about boxer toji (I'm ovulating) sofjsof enjoy!
Discord 18+ - Twitter - Ko-Fi
Toji never really thought he’d be dependent on someone, yet now he can’t even take a shower standing up. After an unlucky boxing match, Toji ended up in a cast and crutches. That’s what he gets for not listening to his son who told him it was around time to retire.
“I’m not a fucking skeleton, I’m good in my field. I can do this for a couple more years.” How he wishes he could swallow his fucking words. He thought that after getting the cast off he’d go back to normal, and he’d have no issue with mobility. He shouldn’t have an issue moving his fucking leg again, he’s been moving it for more than thirty years, why should three months of not moving it change much?
Apparently he can’t do anything, which is why he has someone with him all day every day, helping him so he can get better. Toji’s main issue? He gets frustrated when someone tries to help him.
“Be careful, it’s hot.” You smile at him as you put his dinner in front of him. He has a scowl on his face as you set it down in front of him. He tried to help make dinner but he couldn’t stand for too long. He’s mad, but not at you. He could never be mad at you.
Toji wasn’t necessarily fond of you when you started working with him; he hates being dependent on someone else, and he knew that he would have to depend on you for pretty much everything. You try to help him though, and he should be more appreciative of you because of it, but in reality he feels like a fucking baby. He’s grown to like you though… A little too much for his liking.
You leave him to eat, going to wash the dishes since he can’t do the task yet. Perhaps his own bowl and spoon, but not everything that needs to be cleaned. You watch him from the counter, watching his refusal to pick up the spoon and eat the soup you made him. Earlier he was so prideful, telling you that he would help you every step of the way during dinner, and he couldn’t even finish one third of it. You were proud of him regardless.
“It’s really good, Toji! The potatoes you helped peel really added a touch to it.” You’ve gotten close enough to be on a first name basis. You see each other every day, you stay in the same house, of course you’re close enough to talk to each other so casually. It doesn’t mean you should though. You’ve always managed to keep a very professional relationship with patients, but there’s just something about him that makes it hard for you to be normal around him.
“Don’t talk to me like I’m a fucking kid.” He says, pushing the bowl of soup away. He’s not hungry anymore. Toji stands up, his hands holding on to the table to support himself before grabbing his crutches.
“Toji, if you’re not eating it, can you try to bring it over to me, please?” You ask. You know the soup has cooled down, if he spills it, he’ll be fine.
“If you want it, pick it up yourself.” Toji is clearly mad. You don’t take it to heart though, because you know it’s with himself and not you.
“How about we go to the park tomorrow? It’s supposed to be a nice day out.” You talk to Toji who tries to watch a documentary. He’s not all that interested in what he put on, caring more about what you have to say. He might not show it, and he tries to deny it, but he has the biggest soft spot for you. “We can also get some ice cream, if you’re in the mood!”
“Hey… I’m sorry about earlier. I was just—” It’s hard to get an apology out of him, but sometimes he knows he’s in the wrong and he feels the need to apologize. He doesn’t want you to be mad at him, even though you’re clearly not upset with him. You’re so understanding and patient with him, he feels like he doesn’t deserve that.
“You’re fine, Toji.” You reassure him with a smile, your hand going over his balled up fist. You feel your heart skip a beat as you touch him. You’ve crossed the line past a professional relationship, and you should set some boundaries within yourself– But his other hand goes on top of your own before he brings it up, softly kissing your knuckles. It’s hard to set boundaries when he feels the same way.
“I’m tired.” He tells you, and you stand up to help him get up. Toji usually denies your help, but this time, he has no problem accepting it. You just want the best for him, and there’s some things that he can’t do completely alone. He has to take baby steps. He’s using you for support, and he’s scared that he’s too heavy for you. He asks you, “Are you sure, princess? Can you handle me? I know I’m pretty big.”
“You’re fine. I can handle you.” You reassure him, and you begin to walk to his bedroom. His room was previously on the second floor, but ever since his injury, he’s moved his bedroom to the first floor. You get him to his bedroom, helping him on the bed. You smile at him before saying, “Let me grab your crutches. You left them in the living room, right?”
Before you can walk away, he grabs your sleeve. Toji’s slowly realizing that he can’t fight off the feelings that consume him when you help him, and he’s usually not a fan of them. Toji’s been tied down once before, he certainly doesn’t want that again. But with you, it’s different. He doesn’t mind the idea.
“Will you lay down with me?” He asks, and you suck in your bottom lip between your teeth. You shouldn’t. He caresses your cheek with the back of his hand before he prompts himself up to kiss the corner of your mouth.
“Toji, you know this isn’t something I can do.” You tell him as he looks lovingly into your eyes. “I’m here to help you get better.”
“You can help me get better by laying down next to me.” Toji responds. You grab the hand that so lovingly touches your cheek and kiss it, before bringing your lips down to meet his momentarily. He swears he hears fireworks when your lips meet, even after you pull away.
He’s most definitely in love with you.
“I’ll go get your crutches. Good night, Toji.”
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#toji fushiguro#jujutsu toji#toji zenin#dilf toji#fushiguro toji#toji fushiguro x you#daddy toji#toji imagine#jujutsu kaisen toji#jujutsu kaisen x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x y/n#jjk toji#toji fluff#toji x reader#toji x you#toji jjk#fushiguro
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Babysitter Takes it Well
NMIXX Sullyoon
Tags: named OC, age-gap, cheating, rough sex, choking (barely), sneaking, blowjob, cumshot, doggystyle, missionary, dirty-talk, pussy eating, squirting, not proofread, porn-type of smut
Beomgyu opens the door as he sighs heavily after a tiring working, he finally gets home after staying in the office for the whole night
Walking the through the kitchen, Beomgyu saw a woman leaning towards the counter of the kitchen, reading something, as he looks at her, he noticed her bending down, resulting for him to stare at her ass hidden in the jeans, he gives more look, before making his presence felt
"Mr. Yang, you're home" the young woman greeted, walking towards him
"Good afternoon, Sullyoon, what are you doing here?" Beomgyu greeted and asked to the girl
"I just put Yoojun into his afternoon nap sleep, and Mrs. Park is out meeting with her friends" Sullyoon said, making the man nod
"I see, thank you very much for taking care of my kid, I don't what will happen to him" Beomgyu thanked giving her a hug
Beomgyu took this as an opportunity to grope Sullyoon's ass, and immediately, Sullyoon widened her eyes feeling his palms in her buttcheeks, massaging them a bit as she bit her lip through his touch, trying her best to contain her moan
"It's nothing, Mr. Yang, you know I like hanging out with Yoojun in your house and besides, I am on vacation, so it's not like I am loaded in work" Sullyoon pulled away from the hug, getting shy from the thought
"Awww... me and Jihyo really appreciate your time spending with our kid, alright I'll just be upstairs, can you prepare a little snack for me? I'll just take a shower" Beomgyu asked
"Sure, Mr. Yang" Sullyoon agreed, before the man wentupstairs, with Sullyoon taking a deep breath
Beomgyu went upstairs and strip himself off, before stepping into the shower room, letting the water run through his skin, as he thought of Sullyoon's ass earlier, it immediately give him a boner, as he imagine the young taking his cock
Sullyoon prepare a sandwich in his table, calling him to know the status of his lunch
"Mr. Yang, your lunch is ready here!!" Sullyoon called, but to no avail, no response came after
Sullyoon tried to call him once again, but no response came once again, as she walk upstairs to look for their bedroom, while she try to look for him, Sullyoon finds herself looking at their bathroom, leaving a shock expression on her face seeing the naked man
Sullyoon stare at the man in the shower, while sneaking at him, Sullyoon noticed the huge boner of his dick, as she silenty gasp for the size of the man, Sullyoon hide behind the door, touching her tits as she can't stop looking at his twitching dick, even so that she started rubbing herself through her jeans
Sullyoon leans through the door, closing her eyes, as she rubs her digits to her clothed pussy, letting a little moan, she goes faster and faster, until she didn't realized that Beomgyu was already done with the done
As he walked outside the door, he gasped at the sight of Sullyoon touching, leading the for the girl to flinch in the sound
"Sullyoon what are you doing here?"
"Ummm... I just want to call you that the sandwich is ready" Sullyoon reasoned, immediately waking out of the room
Beomgyu smirk a little as he come of an idea in his head, where he wear his fitted and a shirt before going downstairs, there he saw Sullyoon washing the dishes
"Ehem" Beomgyu called, flinching the girl as a result
"There's your sandwich, Mr. Yang" she pointed, and immediately return to washing the dishes, and Beomgyu sat down in the stool and take a bite of the sandwich
"Peanut butter and jelly, my favorite, thank you, Sullyoon" Beomgyu smiled, receiving a smile
Beomgyu put down the sandwich in the plate, and walk behind Sullyoon, as the girl immediately flinched from his touch on her shoulder
"What are you doing in the room?" Beomgyu asked, rubbing her shoulder, causing for Sullyoon to widen her eyes
"Ummm.... like I said, Mr. Yang, I was about to call you for your snack" Sullyoon stammered, tensing from the touch of the old man
"Really? So you didn't sneak on me while showering?" He whispered
"Umm... sir, no I am not" Sullyoon breath heavily
"Really? Then why does it look like that you are touching yourself when I came out?" He whispered once again, this time, giving a kiss on her cheek
"Mr. Yang, I think you're being too close- AHHH" Sullyoon shriek, feeling some arms hugging her waist
"Have I told you that you have such a good body? I guess that's a benefit being young" Beomgyu whispered, reaching for her tits, making her moan
"Mr. Yang, I'm sorry that I sneak on you, I promise, it won't happen again" Sullyoon pleaded, breathing heavily while she grip hard on the counter
"I know, Sullyoon, but if there's one thing we could also forget, is what about to happen now" Beomgyu answered, thrusting towards her ass, making Sullyoon moan and hold his ass
"Might as well show you how Yoojun was created" Beomgyu said, touching her chin
Sullyoon leans towards his lips, as they makeout in the kitchen, Sullyoon moaning giving Beomgyu to enter his tongue in her mouth, exploring it
"Not a bad kisser" Beomgyu complimented, kissing her neck, while continuing to grope her small tits
"What are we going to tell Mrs. Park if she find out?" Sullyoon asked, holding his hands
"She won't find out" Beomgyu answered, pulling down her shirt, and exposing her bra
"Besides, it will come out bad, if she find out that I cheated on her with the babysitter" he added, as he burying in her chest
Keanan holds his head, as he pull away thr bra, exposing her pink nipples to suck
"Your kids are so lucky, cuz they will suck a tit this good" Beomgyu commented before continuing to feast on her nipples
Sullyoon moans in pleasure, as she gets a hold of his hair while rubbing his body with her hand
"Is this how you suck Mrs. Park, Mr. Yang?" Sullyoon asked
"Yeah, but yours is more tasty" Beomgyu answered, making out with her once again
Sullyoon started gasping as Beomgyu started rubbing her pussy through her jeans, while Beomgyu is licking her neck
"Yes, wet that young pussy of yours" he chuckled, increasing the pace of his finger, before stopping that caused Sullyoon to gasp
Beomgyu leans towards and kiss her once again, not allowing the woman to breath, before he pull away, leaving Sullyoon gasping for air
"You look so hot gasping for air" Beomgyu smirked, before letting Sullyoon touch his crotch, she starts to rub while they makeout once again, as Sullyoon took off her shirt, leaving her in her white bra, before kneeling down, biting her lips while staring at the bulge of his boxer
Beomgyu pull down his boxer, causing for his cock to spring, grabbing her in surprise
"It's so bigger in close look" Sullyoon said, jerking him off
Sullyoon licks the tip first, making the older man gasp from her touch, before putting it in her mouth, she started slowly, before trying to take it inch by inch
"You suck so good for a teenager, young girls are scary this days" Beomgyu chuckles, creating a staring contest with Sullyoon who tries to take his whole length
Beomgyu gets a hold of her head, giving assistance, as Sullyoon widened her eyes to the sudden widening of her throat, he let go of her head that leaves Sullyoon gasping while jerking him off, she takes on his balls, making the man groan to the skills of the woman
"Ughhh... you suck so good, fuck!!! You even know how suck balls" Beomgyu groan, forcing his cock to twitch
And Sullyoon enjoys the noise he makes, as she gets hypnotized by his cock resting on her pretty face
"Stay there, stay there, feel my cock on your face, I'm gonna mess that beautiful face of yours" Beomgyu said, rubbing his cock on her face
Seeing Sullyoon bit her lips leaves Beomgyu craving, he made her stand up and bend over the country, taking her jeans, as he started to grope her ass
"Do you know how I always wants o get close to this?" He asked, spanking it causing her to flinch
"How can young lady like you have a juicy ass like this?" He whispered, making her giggle
"And how can someone old like you can still be this good?" Sullyoon mocks, leaving the man surprised
"Oh, you're about to see, you'll see why Jihyo marries me" Beomgyu said, putting Sullyoon's arm in her back, pinning her to the country
He started slowly by putting the down in her pussy, letting out a moan as she feels her insides immediately getting stretched
"Ohh fuck- UGHH" she moaned before getting her face pushedto the surface of the counter
"Now you will feel what Mrs. Park feel every night"
Beomgyu started thrusting forward, leaving Sullyoon to moan to every thrust she receives to him, Beomgyu continues to pin her in the counter, while getting a hold of her slim waist , as he fasten his pace in thrusting inside of her
"Oh yes, please fuck me" Sullyoon moaned, drooling over the surface, as she was fucked by an older guy who was pinning her on the counter, looking like a helpless little girl
"I just realized that you have a beautiful hair" Beomgyu complimented, getting a handful of it to pull, causing Sullyoon to groan while arching her back
"Ohh yes, pull my hair" she moaned, rolling her eyes, as she become helpless to the thrusting the old man is giving her
Skin slapping sounds echoes through the house, combing it with the moans the freak are doing, was maybe enough for someone to hear what's happening there, as Beomgyu hugs Sullyoon's body, holding her neck and thrusting hard inside of her
"Squirt for me, Sullyoon, I want you to coat my cock with your squirt, make me cheat to my wife" Beomgyu whispered, biting her neck, leaving a hickey
"Ughh- yes please, Mr. Yang, fuck me harder, I'm close to cumming" Sullyoon responded, holding his hand
Beomgyu start to rub her clit, leaving Sullyoon moaning hard, reaching her limits, as she reached her orgasm, coating Beomgyu's cock with her own squirt
"Now that's a lot, Sullyoon" Beomgyu commented, pulling out and letting go of her grip
Sullyoon immediately fell to the counter, as she tries to squirt more while she is still in her high
"Young woman are really amazing" Beomgyu praised her, kissing her neck
"Young ladies are really amazing, you take my dick so good, Sullyoon" he added making out with
"But we're not done yet, I'm about to paint your face with my cum" he added, pulling Sullyoon's hair that made her chuckle, before they walk towards the leaving room while leaving scattered clothes on the floor
Beomgyu sat on the couch, while Sullyoon sat on the floor between his legs, licking the juices of her squirt to his cock, Sullyoon bob her head up and down towards Beomgyu's cock, making the old man groan towards her bowjob
"Now I see why Mrs. Park marry you, Mr. Yang" Sullyoon gasped when she pull out his cock off her mouth
"Then you will enjoy if I fuck your pussy more, and I came to it" Beomgyu said, pulling Sullyoon to sit on his lap
Sullyoon grind herself to his pole, with Beomgyu targeting her little tits, he aligned himself in her pussy, lowering it down further his cock,
"Yes... shove it down my pussy, Mr. Yang" Sullyoon moaned, making out with the old man
"Bounce on my cock, Sullyoon, ride my dick" Beomgyu ordered, before returning to sucking her tits
Sullyoon started riding his dick off, as her moans and the sound skin slapping to each other echoes through the living room, Sullyoon always wonder how can Mr. Yang got a woman like Mrs. Park, and now she finally got that answer
Beomgyu pushes Sullyoon down on the couch, and he continue to fuck her in missionary, Beomgyu explored her body, taking a better look to the 19-year-old body who was supposed to be babysitting his kid, but instead babysitting his 43-year-old cock
"Ughh... yes... Mr. Yang, your cock is fucking me so good" she moaned to the thrust of the old man
Beomgyu pulled out, and starts eating her out, Sullyoon gets a hold of his head who licks the corners of her pussy, slurping, that makes Sullyoon squeal so loud
"Your pussy is so tasty, it's been a while since I taste a pussy this juicy" Beomgyu said, making out with the girl
"I'm home!!!" A voice outside called, making the 2 looked at the door, they immediately walk back to the kitchen, wearing both of their tops and act like nothing happened
"Heyy hon," Jihyo greeted to the man in the counter
"Heyy hon" Beomgyu greeted, smiling while holding Sullyoon's head who was deepthroating his cock
"Have you seen Sullyoon? She's usually just sitting on the of the living room" Jihyo asked, making Sullyoon widen her eyes and almost look over the counter
"Idk, I just came out of the bedroom, maybe he's in Yoojun's room" Beomgyu answered, holding her head in place and going deeper in her throat
"I see, anyway, I'm sorry that we couldn't have an alone time together, like I swear, I want to have sex with you, but Yoojun is here, and he is too young to have a sibling" Jihyo said, making Beomgyu smile
"Don't worry, I understand, maybe 2-3 years" Beomgyu said, making Jihyo laugh
"Alright, I'll be in the garden, I'll just water the plants there, since our maids are gone until next week" Jihyo said, walking out of the kitchen
Beomgyu pulled out of her mouth, leaving Sullyoon gasping for air, after getting suffocated with his dick on her throat
"Might as well continue this in the bedroom" Beomgyu said, pulling the woman's arm and dragged her through the room
Beomgyu pushes her to the bed, and immediately aligning itself in her pussy
"Someone seems angry" Sullyoon teased before getting a slap from the old man
"Shut up, if she will not let me fuck her, it's fine, I have someone who was tastier, younger, and better to fuck" Beomgyu growled, fastening the pace of the thrust
Sullyoon started screaming through the hard pounding of the man, with Beomgyu getting a hold of her hair, causing her moan in high pitch tone, Beomgyu fucks her hard, causing the young woman to pull out some curse words
"Ughh!!! Yes!!! Harder!!! Mr. Yang!!! Fuck me like how you fuck Mrs. Park" Sullyoon shouted, her legs shaking
"You want to fuck you like how I fuck my wife?" Beomgyu asked, before gripping on her neck, causing Sullyoon to choke and getting a blurry vision
"Jihyo loves it when I'm manhandling her" Beomgyu stopped pounding before continue to pounding
Sullyoon's moan broke down, when less air going through her throat right now, Sullyoon gets a hold of his ass, trying to stay composed through the thrusting of the old man
“You’re doing great, Sullyoon, not bad for an 18-year-old” Beomgyu said, feeling Sullyoon’s pussy tightened around his cock
Beomgyu continues pounding the teenager in his bed, with the bed rocking hard because of his thrusting, Sullyoon started screaming because of the pleasure, leading for Beomgyu to shove her face in the mattress, concealing the noise she creates from her mouth
It was then that Sullyoon reached another orgasm, Beomgyu pulls out feeling the squirt of the woman around his cock, drenching the bedsheet as a result, her legs shaking in the end as Sullyoon tried to ride off her high from the orgasm
“Yer cock desnhtroyj mi shu gud, mishter homsh” Sullyoon muttered, gasping hard through the bedsheet
Beomgyu flipped her around, slapping her pussy with his cock, with whining because of her pussy’s sensitivity, as Beomgyu tries to reach his orgasm, returns inside Sullyoon’s pussy, as he fucked in the mating, Sullyoon pulled the man in a kiss, as she tried to conceal her moans because of how the old man gives her pleasure
Beomgyu pulled away from her lips, before targeting her neck, biting it and leaving a mark, as Beomgyu feels the time is close for him to reach limits, fastening his pace thrusting inside Sullyoon
“Sullyoon, I’m close” Beomgyu breathed, trying to form a strength to speak
“In my face, Mr. Yang, cum in my face, I want to taste your tasty cum” Sullyoon gasped, biting the man’s shoulder
Beomgyu pulled out of her pussy, while gripping in Sullyoon’s hair, with Sullyoon immediately going to her knees, and starts to suck him, leading the man to gasp because of the pleasure he receives from the girl’s mouth
“I’m close, Sullyoon” Beomgyu moaned, still gripping on her hair
Sullyoon pulled out of her mouth and start jerking the 43-year-old man with both of her hands, sticking out her tongue, Beomgyu reached his limits, and shoot his seed towards Sullyoon’s pretty teenager face, hitting her mouth, cheek, forehead, & nose, some even went down to her body, with Sullyoon taking all the cum from the old man
“Now this is why Mrs. Park marry you?” Sullyoon chuckled, scooping all of the cum that was that planted on her face, not leaving a single drop, she proceeds to sucks the remaining cum on his cock, making the groan from the sensitivity of his orgasm, sitting down in the mattress
“Thank you for the intense fucking, Mr. Yang” Sullyoon giggle, putting a finger in her mouth, savoring the remaining in her hands
It was then that the door suddenly opened, revealing Jihyo who was holding Sullyoon’s clothes, gasped at the sight of her husband and babysitter both naked in their bed
“Hon, do you wonder why Sullyoon’s clothes- What the fuck, Beomgyu? What is this?” Jihyo asked, shouting at the man, making the two surprised, Sullyoon immediately covered her body with arms, while Beomgyu did nothing
“Honey, I can explain- and you, young lady, fucking my husband, seriously?” Jihyo called to Sullyoon, making Sullyoon awkwardly smile
“It was Mr. Yang idea, Mrs. Park, I couldn’t resist, I’m sorry” Sullyoon reasoned, making Jihyo roll her eyes
“Oh you, Beomgyu, come here, you’re so dead, we need to talk about this, you old man, Sullyoon, here’s your clothes” Jihyo said, pulling the man’s ear and walked out of the room, leaving Sullyoon in floor, naked
“I guess, I got out of it” Sullyoon asked to herself, trying to stand up and went to the bathroom
____
-Just testing to publish here with my first smut in tumblr, hope someone will see this
-Wrote this before Sullyoon's birthday, that's why she's 19 here, despite that she is already 20 now, just didn't change the age since it's part of the story already
#nmixx#nmixx sullyoon#nmixx smut#sullyoon#sullyoon smut#sullyoon x male reader#kpop x male reader#kpop smut#idol x male reader#idol x reader
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Activation Energy and Executive Dysfunction
A bunch of people (with executive dysfunction I assume) reacted a little disheartened to how I described the phenomenon.
The gist is that I used activation energy, a concept from chemistry, as a model for how executive dysfunction can keep you from doing things. Activation energy is the minimal energy that has to be available for any chemical reaction to occur and that amount is specific to every reaction.
Executive Dysfunction to me means, that this activation energy is always high, even for tasks other people experience as spontaneous reaction (yes the amount of ae and spontaneity of a reaction are not connected necessarily but bear with me here). A good example is showering or feeding yourself or sometimes getting up from the couch.
The tricky thing here is that the energy put into trying to reach activation energy is still *expended*, so while it might seem like nothing happens, you still get drained, making it harder to reach activation energy levels.
So what can we do?
In synthesis, if your activation energy is too high you basically can do two things: you either add a catalyst, or you find a different way to get to your result altogether.
The latter can be choosing a simpler recipe to feed yourself, graze on random items without making a meal until you are full or ordering food for example.
This is not always possible, but it *is* worth thinking about. An example from my life would be that I open my mail outside at the trash bins and immediately discard what I don't need because otherwise, I have paperstuff flying around my appartment that I don't get rid of.
"Weird" is not something that should factor in here. Make it functional and helpful.
The catalyst is my favourite solution however, and I can give you some tips here that you can *immediately* use. I won't know if they work for you, but they do for me (sometimes! be kind to yourself).
CATALYSTS AGAINST EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION
Have your tasks broken down: when you have energy, make sure that the thing on your to do list is something you can *actually* physically immediately do. Don't write "make reservation", but "call restaurant" along with the number. Not "clean kitchen" but "move dishes to sink" etc
Doorway Effect: The Doorway effect describes that silly thing that, when we cross a boundary, we sometimes feel like we've been soft reset ("what was I going to do?"). A hypothesis for why this happens can be that it helps our brain create separate contexts which then aids memory creation. What it can do for you is that it is an easy way to change context, which then frees you up to start something new more easily. Try it! Physically go through a doorway or open a different window on the computer, sometimes that is enough.
Costuming: Similar to the Doorway Effect, we are changing context in a low effort way here. Concentrate on putting on your shoes instead of taking out the trash or put on some rubber gloves if you plan on cleaning. Might be enough. Sometimes putting on mascara is enough for me to go "oh I am out of couch potato mode now"
Move! Put yourself where you need to be to tackle your task. That can already help.
Pressure: This can be done by setting a timer that will go off soon. Challenge yourself to get up and go before it rings - might stress you into inaction sometimes, but it can be helpful. I love visual timers for this as it helps with my time blindness
Prepare! If you are in a state of flow and have energy to spare *use it*. This includes breaking down your task as already described but also preparing your space - this can be a cleaned up desk or a caddy with cleaning supplies in a prominent spot.
And my absolute favorite: Throw a dice. When it is really bad, one thing I can always do is throw a dice (via an app, typing "d20" into the search bar or physically having one on me - which I usually do now). I tell myself that if I "make the roll" I get up and do it and if I don't, I try again in 20 minutes. This changes context easily, removes responsibility from me and makes the whole thing playful. I usually go with a d20 and tell myself to get going with a result over 10. If I have a particularly bad day I might need 15+ to do something. Just try it.
In short, what we are trying to do is
minimize friction by frontloading as much thinking and preparing as we can
make a context change as easy and small as possible
And remember: the goal is never to Always Be Doing Something.
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