#i am going to self destruct | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ajthepeach · 5 months

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erm

i drew the silly again

*grabs u by the shoulders and shakes u around*

no bcuz u dont even UNDERSTAND. the TORTURE i went thru to get his clothes the right color SEVEN LAYERS. six markers and a crayon kill me now

also forgive my horrid handwriting and crappy paint pens and also MY ONLY SKIN COLORED MARKER IS DYING AAAAAA.

#ddvau #ddvau fanart #cuteguy #i am going to self destruct

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whorenerdking · 2 years

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mom: you know I’ve been reading this article about anxiety and it says that a lot of people with anxiety are in their head too much, getting out of your head sounds like a great idea! much better than taking medication that’s actually helping you.

me: gOd wHy dIdNt I tHiNk oF tHaT bEfOrE

#I am going to self destruct #just because you don’t like the idea of being on medication for the rest of your life doesn’t mean it’s bad #there are plenty of people that have to take medication FOREVER for things that they can’t help #or things that they need help with #like I’m gonna be on anti depressants and anti anxiety meds until the day I die #and I’m perfectly fine with that cause you know what?#because of those medications the day I die is going to be MUCH FURTHER AWAY than if I wasn’t on them #christ #it’s not a bad thing to have to rely on medication #it’s like telling someone who’s paralyzed just to get up and walk #this is why I need to not live with my mom anymore

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angelicstalker · 8 months

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I FEEL DISGUSTING

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brokenxheart · 2 months

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If they only knew....

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andi-o-geyser · 10 months

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all my favourite characters are just me seeing them and going "damn you sure do clean up well but I'd much rather see you grinning with blood between your teeth"

#also known as the 'i could fix them but its so much funnier to watch them go feral' phenomenon #i just want to see somebody who's usually composed covered in blood on their knees- *i am shot and my body is dragged offstage*#mizu being happy for one (1) second with her husband VS a fucking demon cutting people apart stopping at nothing for revenge #percy de rolo as a prim and proper lord VS possessed by a demon with a thirst for vengeance and burning orange eyes #james flint as a clean shaven british navy officer VS with a full beard and no morals beating a man to death with his bare hands #ellie williams as a sweet innocent kid VS a bloody tattooed woman on a self destructive quest for revenge knife fighting to the death #vi having a good day VS in a drag on knock out fistfight with another woman (i need her in a way concerning to feminism)#jason todd as robin VS the fucking red hood (he is covered in blood and half his mask is gone and i am going insane)#surprise! they're all on a quest for revenge #blue eye samurai #critical role #black sails #the last of us #arcane #batman #mizu #percy de rolo #james flint #ellie williams #vi arcane #jason todd #andis thought geyser

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eggsistential-breakdown · 2 months

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Reincarnation Bluesverse + Will Wood lyrics

1.1 & 1.2 (couldn't decide which I liked better so have two of them) & 2

Fic: @reblogincarnation-blues's The Mirrored Heart chapter 1

Song: ... well, better than the alternative

3

Fic: @marypsue's What Friends Are For

Song: BlackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA

4 & 5

Fic: @marypsue's Something Borrowed, Something Blues chapter 17

Song: Mr. Capgras Encounters a Secondhand Vanity: Tulpamancer's Prosopagnosia/Pareidolia (As Direct Result of Trauma to the Fusiform Gyrus)

Kept these very fast and loose to try to break out of a creative slump. Based more off of vibes than silly trivial things like canon and facts and anatomy. None of these should be taken literally or metaphorically or physiologically or radiologically. Twice divorced gray eyesed Ian still lives rent free in my head sorry

#ironically forgot the title of the first chapter of tmh lol #had to take a break from the big project because lineart was driving me insane and i miss colors #been going at a snail's pace sorry #transcendence au #gravity falls au #tau art #ian beale #alcor the dreambender #mira ramachandran #rosa darling #reincarnation blues #the mirrored heart #my art #digital art #was aiming for under an hour each #got around 1.3 hours each good enough #chock full of mistakes but i am not looking anymore! time's up #the way i did these kind of self destructed the documents as i went so i can't really go back and fix the things i want to #these are all like older rb ip in the rb renaissance now #there's so much new stuff!!!!! so exciting so many new things i will maybe draw someday #i just think tdge ian is a silly little goober i would put on a hamster wheel

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taffywabbit · 1 month

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I don't know who needs to hear this but smoking cigarettes in a non-smoking rental unit isn't cool or rebellious or "aesthetic", you're just an inconsiderate asshole and you're ruining the place for all future tenants because I can guarantee no landlord is EVER going to put in the work necessary to get that smell out of the walls once it's in there. you're not sticking it to anyone in authority, you're just making the available options worse for other people who are gonna need a place to live in the future and can't afford to be that picky

#buny text #my current place smells like smoke and i don't notice it usually until i leave for more than like 6 hours and then come home #and it hits me like a wall and i am immediately overcome with embarrassment about literally every time I've had someone over #when i go somewhere else i notice all my clothes smell like it too #don't do this shit I'm serious. if you're going to maintain a terrible self-destructive habit at least go do it outside

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phoenix----rising · 2 months

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𝐼 𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑔𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑒...𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑔𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒𝑠, 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑦 𝑐𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑛...𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑦 𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑔𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑛 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑚𝑒, 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒...

𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑠, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑠... 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒, 𝑖𝑛 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒...

𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑧𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑎𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑜 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑔𝑛𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑎𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛 / 𝑒𝑣𝑜𝑙𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛....𝐼 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑙𝑦...

𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒...

𝐼 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠..

𝐼 𝑖𝑛𝑣𝑖𝑡𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑠𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑤𝑡ℎ 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑒𝑣𝑜𝑙𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛...𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑢𝑝𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐷𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑒/𝑈𝑛𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑒/𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑡𝑜 𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙 𝑙𝑖𝑏𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛... (𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑝𝑟𝑎𝑦𝑒𝑟... 𝐿𝑜𝑙)

𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑢𝑚𝑏𝑙𝑟 𝑎𝑝𝑝...𝑏𝑦 𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙... 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑟𝑒-𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑡...𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑖𝑔𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢...𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑢𝑛𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑒/𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑝𝑢𝑡/𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑚𝑖𝑡 𝑀𝑜𝑑𝑒...𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒/ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑦 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑤𝑡ℎ 𝑠𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 "𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑙𝑦" 𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑜𝑛 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒...

𝐴𝑙𝑠𝑜, 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑛𝑎𝑖̈𝑣𝑒 𝑜𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑦, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑙/𝑝𝑠𝑦𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑐/𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑣𝑎𝑡𝑒/𝑠𝑎𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑝𝑢𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑙𝑦 𝑜𝑛 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒....𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑓𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑎𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑑....𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑝𝑠𝑦𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑐 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙...𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑒𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑙, 𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙, 𝑝ℎ𝑦𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙 𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔...𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑛 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑣𝑜𝑖𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑦...𝑁𝑜𝑡 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡. 𝐷𝑖𝑠𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑘𝑒𝑦...𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑖𝑓 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑟 "𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑎𝑐𝑘", 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑟𝑢𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑒𝑓𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑠...𝑃𝑒𝑟ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑠 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑔𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ 𝑢𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑡ℎ... 𝐼 𝑜𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑑, 𝑡𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑟 𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑑...𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑... 𝐴 𝐿𝑂𝑇...

𝐼𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑚𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑒𝑣𝑜𝑙𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑢𝑝𝑜𝑛 𝑚𝑒...𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔... 𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑤𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝑤𝑒 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑗𝑎 𝑣𝑢 𝑒𝑡𝑐...𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙...𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡'𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑛𝑜𝑤...𝑅𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝐼 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑎 𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑤𝑎𝑦...𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝐼 𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑑... 𝐾𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝐺𝑃𝑆... 𝑅𝑛, 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑓𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑝𝑎𝑡ℎ... 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙/ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡.. 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑢𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑙𝑒𝑔𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑒𝑗𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑝𝑝𝑙𝑠 𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑔𝑦/𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢...𝐼 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑏𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑤𝑛 "𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒"...𝐼 ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑤𝑡ℎ...𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑖𝑡...𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑛... 𝐾𝑎𝑟𝑚𝑎...𝐼 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑔𝑜 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 "𝑣𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑚" 𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦...𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑎 𝑣𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠...𝐼 𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑑 𝑝𝑝𝑙 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡’𝑠 𝑜𝑛 𝑀𝑒! 𝐴 𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑓𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛....𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑀𝐸𝐴𝑁𝑇 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢...

𝐴𝑛𝑦𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠, 𝐼 𝐴𝑀 𝑟𝑒𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛... 𝐴 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔...

𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟...

#Sry for the grammar errors I needed to vent...#if you are someone i cut/blocked out of my life and you are Still trying to check up on me: mooove on...#everything is meant to be but not all things are meant to last...give gratitude for the experience and move on with love forgiveness and #understanding... I am not going to repeat the cycle...#I know who I am and what/who is meant to be in my life and who/what is some kind of distraction...#Again...I release soul ties karmic contracts trauma bonds self-destructive behaviors ppl and energy that no longer serves me....Asè #personal #personal diary #The more I go within..The longer I sit with my shadows...The less and less space I am able to hold for the bullshit around me..#It’s a bizarre paradox...

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hel7l7 · 5 months

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I’m in that weird stage of healing from smt where things are new and good. But the fact that it feels new and different terrifies me and makes me spiral into some sort of crazy panic mode because I just want control….

What I had in the past was not better than what is now. Repeat. I am only comfortable in chaos because it is what I know best. Repeat. I can learn to get used to a new version of me and it won’t always feel scary and uncomfortable. Repeat.

#i tend to just want to run back to whatever self destructive thing i am most craving #i am not gonna call them #i am not gonna hurt myself #i am going to be kind to myself and take care of me #tomorrow is a new day and all this uncomfortable stuff will pass #everything always changes #it is ok if I need some time to adjust to changes even if those changes are positive

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onaperduamedee · 1 year

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"Was it hard?" "What?"

#the wheel of time #wotedit #moiraine damodred #wot on prime #lan mandragoran #mygifs #wot show spoilers #mine: wot #married to death #you're a cool one #blood #this brooding one #the colouring could be better but I don't have the emotional strength to spend more time #Moiraine is on a self-destruction bender #remember when she was described like an avalanche #yeah that #that's the second time she pulled the whole I am going to die alone and nuclear #she's probably on the hunt for the Forsaken on her own because of course why not

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that-butch-archivist · 2 months

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1 out of 4 accelerated summer courses finished today. Next to go is Chem.

#i have not told my friends who are being supportive of me going to college #but i am very behind on chem #pretty much on top of english and psych #mind you the chem isn't hard it's just very time consuming and i work 50 hrs a week overnight #not even by choice on some level there's just literally nobody to work overnights #and It Is Such A Problem my single other coworker keeping nightshift alive at this 24/7 job and i are ... we have rioting to do #but anyways this is largely because i was having troubles with my adhd meds #and then hit the self destructive dread #which is such an odd problem to have when every other part of you is banging on the walls ready to go and kick ass #but so it goes #but i will catch up because i must and i want to and because i must #and because i didn't realize most of the people in my bio class were also going for the nursing program #i love the people on my bio class i'm super excited now #archivist talk #the archivist regrets starting nursing school #the archivist will get through it they just have to whine about it a little first #i was telling the archival assistants (my cats) but frankly one is too busy getting the zoomies and the other is trying to figure out #the best place to lay on me #and i shall not disturb her #my fair lady of orange #okay i work at 7P goodnight

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yzafre · 10 months

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Roxas: Had the Halloween town kids throw bombs in his face for multiple missions in a row before finally breaking down and smacking them around a bit.

Ventus: The dwarves were rude and refused to talk to him, immediately resorted to chasing them down and whacking them.

Characterization I see frequently: Ah, yes, Roxas is the one always willing to throw hands and Ventus is a smol sunshine boy.

#kh #kingdom hearts #these are really silly examples but the point stands!#in fact I think it expands when you look at their full screen-time #I am once again begging people to watch a full let's play of Days #don't get me wrong Ventus IS brightness and sunshine #but he also has the energy of a chihuahua ready to fight the world and I will stand by that #where as Roxas will tend to just try to avoid it until he Very Much Can't #now I think Roxas does BITTERNESS better than Ventus or Sora #but bitterness is not temper #in fact bitterness is usually negative emotions left on the backburner until the resentment caves in on itself #I suppose this is up to interpretation but from my reading...#a lot of times Ventus seems to burn out his anger then let it go #whereas Roxas doesn't do anything with the emotions until he/the situation self-destructs catastrophically so it ends up being nastier #but on the day-to-day?#yeah no Ventus is going to be the one reacting first #you can also exchange Sora for Ventus for some of these arguments #though I think he lands somewhere between Ventus and Roxas for short-temperedness #all this is more complicated than this reductive commentary of course #you have to take in how and in what orders the characters were introduced and marketed #the difficulty of getting the handheld games historically and the biases that set in before they were easily accessed #not to mention stock archetypes for fandom joke set-ups that then perpetuate the characterization...#like there's a LOT to how this came to be #but it Gets To Me sometimes #yza talks about a thing

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bookgobloblin · 1 year

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Fionna and Cake screenshot redraw because the Star has an IRON GRIP on my brain right now original screenshot under the cut

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cream-and-tea · 3 months

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oh man the judge/calliope and pallas&agnes thoughts are really eating holes in my brain tonight,,,,,,

#about to ramble extensively in these tags so bear with me lol #anyways it makes me want to run in circles bc there r like. the similarities of course there are.#judge and agnes separated from their families and home for better or for worse trying to make their way back to that.#calliope and pallas absolute gnarled messes of self loathing calcified by extremely destructive magic.#both duo’s have the undying loyalty have the tenderness have the when is a monster not a monster oh when you love it #of it all.#but then there’s the fact that what judge and calliope have going on is very much romantic+sexual where pallas and agnes are Not #and that undeniably colours so many of their interactions #so the intimacy in both of the relationships is expressed in a different context #and there’s also agnes primarily concerned with her own survival vs judge’s dedication to a larger cause and quest #pallas priding themself on control of their powers vs calliopes unmanageable werewolf transformations #the fact that pallas and agnes meet at 17 and are total strangers #while judge and calliope have known each other since they were kids and growing into each other #judge wanting to protect agnes from pallas and warning her to Be Careful Because They’re A Killer while calliope #(<- has killed and will kill again) is literally standing at her shoulder #agnes BONE DEEP conviction that pallas will never hurt her despite everything vs calliope having hurt judge VERY badly in the past #and judge forgiving him for it even tho they didn’t want to be forgiven #this is probably incoherent but i am THINKING i am pondering #these four…. god.#wip: ghost story

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khaotunq · 1 year

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a little top flop for ur dashboards ♥ mostly for @sollucets because it's their fault

#tuserrowan #only friends the series #ofts #rowan in no way prompted this but #i've been feeling like absolute garbage this week and #in the midst of hating myself creatively i remembered rowan's reaction to this moment #and i laughed my way to photoshop #so here i am plaguing their tag <3 #anyway.#no but seriously #ouch???#going back to being self destructive in my void now thank u #ofs top #my gifs #mine: only friends #mine: top #it makes me giggle too much to not put in my gifs tag i guess

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mozart-the-meerkitten · 1 year

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It is so funny to me in Phineas and Ferb episodes/movies when Doof's schemes go awry and he just. continues to tag along with whatever's happening. Like he's not doing anything in particular he's just there following Perry and whoever else happens to be there around. And they just. let him do that. I just watched the Canada episode where at the end he was like "can we go to Niagara Falls now?" and the OCWA was just like ".... sure, why not." like everyone knows this man is not an actual threat and occasionally they just humor him and it's so funny to me. xD

#phineas and ferb #dr. doofenshmirtz #silliness #it's even funnier when he actually ends up HELPING the good guys #he's been actually arrested like maybe twice in this whole show I am in season 4 #my theory is that since perry obviously could like. turn him in at any time he's just CHOOSING not to #because doof is. I mean he basically foils himself most of the time #the man puts self destruct buttons on everything #but perry has realized that if doof keeps doing his schemes then perry gets to stay with his kids he loves #so perry's just accepted that he now has to be doof's frenemy and embraced this #so they've got a mutually beneficial relationship going on here

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