#i am going to CRY and it is all his fault. >:(
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reblogging comment review from @zyafics
it’s 6:47am and i went “why not” so here i am reading ⬇️
You were home.
PAUSE DID I MISS SOMETHING
Your father, with his disheveled hair and red-rimmed eyes, swung the bottle in his hand dangerously close to JJ’s head. Each wave of the bottle sent droplets of amber liquid flying, dotting the floor like gruesome confetti.
god this paragraph eats ur descriptions 🤌🏼 (the amber liquid, the droplets on the floor? yeahhh i know u ate with that)
It was Rafe.
ohmygod im spiraling right now
You felt a surge of nausea, your stomach churning with revulsion of yourself. The nightmare still clung to you, the vivid memories of his hands around your throat making it hard to reconcile the image of him sleeping so peacefully.
what if she runs away (i would eat that up🤭)
Sleeping around—no, not just sleeping, practically baring your soul to one of the people that had destroyed your life? That had taunted and beaten your brother? Your friends? That killed a cop and got away with it? The thoughts circled in your mind, relentless and unforgiving. The cool night air was a temporary relief, but it couldn’t wash away the shame eating you alive. How did it come to this? How did you go from hating Rafe to being tangled up with him like this?
why am i so scared of the upcoming angst
Maybe you were holding on to the only person who managed to pull you out of Ward’s grasp, fooling yourself into finding some good in someone who had caused so much pain.
stockholm syndrome (it’s not… i think)
Rafe's voice cut through the air, his tone urgent, "How the fuck did you not see her leave? Did someone take her?”
he’s so protective of her i’m so in love 💍
Rafe's head snapped up, his blue eyes widening in relief as he caught sight of you. "Thank God," he breathed, his shoulders visibly relaxing, “Fucking hell, Maybank.”
THE FUCKING BUTTERFLIES 🦋
His arms were around you in an instant, his warmth enveloping you. His hands rested gently on your back; fingers splayed wide. For a moment, you allowed yourself to lean into his embrace for the last time, the tension in your shoulders easing ever so slightly. Barely looking at him, you pushed him away, your movements sharp. His hands fell away from you, confusion flickering across his features like a shadow passing over the sun. The hurt in his eyes cut through you like a punch, but you couldn’t bring yourself to dwell on it.
STOP STOP STOP
You hated the fact you could pinpoint the sincerity in his voice so easily. It nearly killed you.
LET HIM IN PLS 🛐🛐
“It was a mistake.”
i’m actually holding my breath pls gigi let me breathe 😭😭😭
Rafe could act cold and stoic all he wanted; you could hear the hurt in his voice and sense the sadness in the words. He sounded broken.
"You're angry,” Your mouth ran dry, your heart lurching into your throat. "I’m sorry.”
"Sorry?" he seethed, his voice a low growl that sent shivers down your spine, "Angry? You think you mean enough to me to make me angry?"
SHUT UP RAFE
“Stop it,” Your voice broke a little, fighting the waterworks that were threatening to run down your cheeks, “Stop making it sound like it meant nothing to you.”
no bc i would lose it in that room (absolutely go kill bill or disney princess cry idk yet)
“And whose fault is that? Hmm? You said you didn’t want to stop. You wanted it, you wanted me.”
You staggered back, feeling as if the ground beneath your feet was shifting, uncertain, and unsteady.
"I wanted it," Rafe repeated, fingers digging into his chest, his voice raw with emotion, "I wanted you."
the way my stomach rolled oh my god u r incredible at creating emotions
The anger that had driven him was gone, replaced by a hollow, almost haunted look
love the description of haunted had to take a sec to think what that is
He finally looked at you, his eyes bloodshot and filled with a mix of pain and regret. “I... I couldn’t stay away,” he slurred, his words thick with the effects of too much alcohol. “I tried, but...”
RAFE MY ANNOYINGLY POOR BABY
“It’s not, Maybank. I’ve done enough damage for a lifetime. It’s the reason why you’re sleeping on the other side of the bed instead of right next to me.”
actually stop hurting me pls and thank u
It took you hours to fall asleep. You lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, the events of the past weeks replaying in your mind. You thought of Rafe, of the hurt in his eyes, the way he had looked at you like you were the only thing keeping him tethered to reality.
THE ONLY THING KEEPING HIM TETHERED TO REALITY STFU UP
Rafe’s gaze flicked to you as if he was memorizing your features, from your eyes down to your lips. You could see the gears turning inside his brain and it made you sick to your stomach when he took a deep breath, his eyes hardening with resolve, “Run.”
STOP MY HEART IS RACING 🫨
Without thinking, you ran to Rafe, your heart pounding with fear and relief. His arms wrapped around you tightly, and gently pulled you back, his eyes searching yours to make sure you were okay, but before you could assure him you were fine, he kissed you. His lips pressed firmly against yours, and you felt his tongue gently parting your lips, exploring with a tenderness that made your knees weak. It felt so…real, it nearly brought you to your knees. As cheesy as it sounded, it felt like time stood still for you, the rest of the world ceasing to exist.
ITS LIKE A CRIMINAL LOVE STORY PLS 😭
“Baby, you—“ he coughed, blood seeping through his teeth, "You gotta go home.”
STOP STOP STOP STOP
“I’m not leaving without him,” You made the mistake to glance back one last time, your heart breaking as you saw Rafe's eyes close, his body slumping against the ground, “No, no, no! Keep your eyes open, I swear to god—” Your hands trembled as you tried to staunch the flow of blood with your already stained clothing, "Stay with me," you pleaded, your voice cracking.
i’m actually gonna kill u gigi u have no idea
As you were led out of the police station and into a waiting car, your mind raced with thoughts of him, lying in a hospital bed, fighting for his life, by himself. You couldn't bear the thought of him waking up alone, without knowing that you were there for him.
If he ever woke up.
for once in ur life i need u to be crazy and jump the car
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
FINAL THOUGHTS | omg. OHMYGOD??? okay one thing i absolutely love about this chapter is your emotional development and connection. the way that reader had to pull back because of her nightmare, because of what it means to be with rafe in the real world, the way she withdraws from him and it hurts him until they get to that argument. and that ARGUMENT; rafe being vulnerable while also pushing back, while also being sharp and anger? that PIERCED MY SOUL because u did it so well i actually held my breath and stopped breathing and just stared at how well u managed to capture emotional moments without exaggerating it. then then, him looking at her face trying to memorize her features before telling her to run? to kissing her because he couldn’t stand it anymore? screaming. AND THEN HE GOT FUCKING SHOT?? i saw spoilers that he got shot but i was so wrapped in the story i FORGOT 😭 it literally took me out 😭😭😭 I NEED HER TO JUMP OUT THE COP CAR OR SOMETHING PLS STAY WITH HIM 😭
THE OTHER SIDE OF PARADISE - rafe cameron (+18) - four
request: "a rafe enemies to lovers 🫣 the reader is jjs sister the whole drama before but then she gets left behind on the ship and rafe ends up comforting her and then yea that’s all I got you can do whatever else the rest 😛"
warnings: angst; gun violence; blood;
word count: 7.1k
You woke up confused staring at the oddly familiar ceiling, filled with posters ripped from the old magazines you’d gotten at a second-hand store. When you were sixteen is sounded like a great edgy idea.
You were home.
What the—? How?
Sitting up, the room felt stifling, the air thick with the stale smell of old wood and the faintest hint of your father’s cigarette smoke, a scent you had hoped never to encounter again. The heavy feeling in your chest wasn’t just the dread of being back; it was the oppressive memories flooding back, threatening to drown you.
The sound of a muffled argument seeped through the thin walls, pulling you back to the present.
Your heart pounded in your ears as you recognized the angry, slurred voice of your father.
He was shouting at someone, probably your brother, just like he used to. The familiar clinking of bottles and the crash of something being thrown sent a shiver down your spine.
No. This wasn't real. This couldn’t be real.
You swung your legs over the side of the bed, feeling the rough carpet under your feet, grounding yourself in the moment. You stood up shakily, each step toward the door feeling heavier than the last. The hallway stretched out before you, longer than it should have been, and the flickering light cast eerie shadows on the peeling wallpaper.
As you approached the living room, the noise grew louder, more distinct. Your father’s voice, filled with venom and rage, cut through you like a knife. You reached the doorway and peered in, your breath catching in your throat. There he was, towering over your JJ, his face twisted in anger. Your little brother was cowering, trying to make himself as small as possible, his eyes filled with fear. The scene was a haunting echo of so many nights you’d tried to forget.
“No,” you whispered, fear and anger bubbling up inside you. “This isn’t happening.”
But it was.
Your father, with his disheveled hair and red-rimmed eyes, swung the bottle in his hand dangerously close to JJ’s head. Each wave of the bottle sent droplets of amber liquid flying, dotting the floor like gruesome confetti. JJ flinched with every movement, tears streaming down his cheeks, and the sight made your heart ache.
“Get out of my sight, you worthless—” your father roared, his voice a terrifying growl.
“No!” you screamed, stepping into the room before you even realized you were moving. “Stop it!”
Your father turned, his bloodshot eyes narrowing as they focused on you. For a moment, there was a flicker of confusion, as if he couldn’t quite believe you were standing there.
Then, recognition set in, and his scowl deepened.
“You,” he spat, the word laced with bitterness. “You think you can just walk back in here and tell me what to do?”
The room seemed to shrink around you, the walls closing in, suffocating. But you couldn’t back down, not now. Not ever again.
“Leave him alone,” you said, your voice trembling, “He’s a child!”
Your father took a menacing step toward you, the bottle still clutched in his hand. “You’ve got some nerve, coming back here and talking to me like that. Looking exactly like her!”
Every instinct screamed at you to run, but you stood your ground. “I’m not afraid of you Luke,” you lied, your voice barely above a whisper.
His eyes flashed with anger, and he raised the bottle, ready to strike. You braced yourself, every muscle tensed, waiting for the blow.
“Dad, please!” JJ’s voice broke through the tension, small and desperate.
“Don’t hurt her.”
The plea hung in the air, a fragile thread that seemed to hold back the storm for just a moment. Your father’s hand wavered, his eyes darting between you and JJ.
Then, with a roar of frustration, he threw the bottle against the wall, where it shattered into a thousand pieces. The crash echoed through the house, a final, violent punctuation to the nightmare unfolding around you.
“You’re a coward, you know that? Hitting on your own children. You’re trash.” you spat out, the words flying from your mouth before you could stop them.
His face twisted, “What did you say to me?” He lunged at you, his hands going straight for your throat. Fear surged through you as his fingers tightened, cutting off your air supply. Your hands flew up to try and pry his grip loose, but he was too strong, too relentless, too driven.
Black spots began to dance at the edges of your vision. You struggled, gasping for breath, but his grip only tightened. The room started to spin, and just as you thought you might pass out, his face began to shift, blurring and changing. You blinked, trying to clear your vision, and when you opened your eyes again, it was no longer your father choking you.
It was Rafe.
Rafe's face, with a sickening grin, loomed over you. His eyes, filled with a cold, calculating malice, bore into yours. “You thought I’d be any different?” he sneered. “You signed your death sentence, pogue.”
The terror was overwhelming, a wave of cold dread washing over you.
Your heart pounded frantically against your ribs, but you couldn’t scream, couldn’t call for help. His grip was like iron, unyielding and merciless.
You fought against him with all your strength, but it felt like trying to move through quicksand. Every movement was sluggish, every attempt to break free met with resistance. The walls around you seemed to close in, the room becoming a claustrophobic prison.
As the edges of your vision began to fade, a new sound cut through the suffocating haze – JJ’s voice, calling your name. “Sis! Please, wake up! Wake up!”
With a final, desperate burst of energy, you tore yourself away from Rafe, his grip suddenly gone. You were falling, tumbling through darkness, and then–
You jolted awake, gasping for breath, your body drenched in sweat. The familiar ceiling of the motel room came into focus. The terror of the nightmare clung to you, and it made it hard to breathe.
Your hands went to your throat, feeling for bruises that weren’t there. It was just a dream, you told yourself, trying to calm your racing heart. Just a nightmare.
As your breath began to steady, you turned your head, feeling the sheets rustle against your skin.
The dim light of the room cast long shadows, and your heart sank when you saw Rafe lying next to you, his chest rising and falling in a deep, peaceful slumber. He was naked, his body partially covered by the sheets, a stark reminder of what you’d done hours ago.
You felt a surge of nausea, your stomach churning with revulsion of yourself. The nightmare still clung to you, the vivid memories of his hands around your throat making it hard to reconcile the image of him sleeping so peacefully. You quietly slipped out of bed, trying not to wake him, and grabbed your clothes, dressing quickly.
Standing in the small bathroom, you splashed cold water on your face, trying to wash away the remnants of the dream. The coolness against your skin brought a brief sense of clarity, but it didn’t banish the lingering sense of dread. You looked at yourself in the mirror, your reflection pale and haunted.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. You had to get out of here, clear your head, and figure out what to do next. Slipping out of the bathroom, you grabbed your keys from the nightstand, sneaking one last look at Rafe. He was still asleep, completely unaware of the fear inside you.
The motel hallway was dark and quiet, with the faint hum of the vending machine being the only noise. You made your way to the exit, and the cool night air hit you like a splash of reality. It felt like you were stepping out of one world and into another, the contrast so stark and jarring.
You took a few more steps, but your vision blurred, and you felt lightheaded. You slumped against the wall, struggling to catch your breath.
The panic attack hit you full force, your chest tightening, and your mind racing. You couldn't let Rafe see you like this. You couldn't let anyone see you like this. You sank to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest, trying to focus on something, anything, to calm yourself down. You started counting your breaths, focusing on each inhale and exhale, trying to slow your racing heart. You thought of JJ, of how much he needed you to be strong. You couldn't fall apart now, not when there was so much at stake.
You kept counting, kept breathing, the cool air helping to clear your head. Slowly, the tightness in your chest began to ease. The world started to come back into focus, the shadows in the hallway retreating.
You wiped away the tears that had slipped down your cheeks and stood up, feeling a little more in control.
Sleeping around—no, not just sleeping, practically baring your soul to one of the people that had destroyed your life? That had taunted and beaten your brother? Your friends? That killed a cop and got away with it? The thoughts circled in your mind, relentless and unforgiving. The cool night air was a temporary relief, but it couldn’t wash away the shame eating you alive. How did it come to this? How did you go from hating Rafe to being tangled up with him like this?
You thought of JJ, of your friends, the people who had been there for you through everything. They’d never understand.
Hell, you didn’t even understand it yourself. You stopped and leaned against a lamppost, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. You had to sort through this mess, had to figure out what was real and what was just the lingering effects of captivity and longing. Maybe you were holding on to the only person who managed to pull you out of Ward’s grasp, fooling yourself into finding some good in someone who had caused so much pain.
An hour later, you made your way back to the motel. Each step felt like a struggle, the guilt and self-doubt threatening to consume you entirely. You couldn't shake the feeling that you'd betrayed everything you stood for by letting Rafe into your life, even if it was just for a moment of weakness.
As you approached the entrance, you saw him standing at the front desk, looking worried and disheveled. He must have just woken up, throwing on some shorts in a hurry. His expression was tense as he spoke to the front desk guy, hands moving rapidly, gesturing around.
Your pulse pounded as you walked in, not sure of what to say, what to do, how to approach him. The memory of the nightmare still lingered, haunting you like a specter refusing to be exorcised.
Rafe's voice cut through the air, his tone urgent, "How the fuck did you not see her leave? Did someone take her?”
The front desk guy shook his head, his expression apologetic. "I apologize sir, but I haven't seen anyone come through here."
With a deep breath, you stepped forward, revealing yourself to him. "I'm here," you said quietly, voice rough from not speaking since you woke up.
Rafe's head snapped up, his blue eyes widening in relief as he caught sight of you. "Thank God," he breathed, his shoulders visibly relaxing, “Fucking hell, Maybank.”
His arms were around you in an instant, his warmth enveloping you. His hands rested gently on your back; fingers splayed wide. For a moment, you allowed yourself to lean into his embrace for the last time, the tension in your shoulders easing ever so slightly. Barely looking at him, you pushed him away, your movements sharp. His hands fell away from you, confusion flickering across his features like a shadow passing over the sun. The hurt in his eyes cut through you like a punch, but you couldn’t bring yourself to dwell on it.
You took a step back, putting some distance between you and Rafe, needing the space to breathe, to think, to figure out what comes next.
Your gaze flickered to the floor, unable to meet his eyes, unable to face the consequences of your actions, "Just needed some air," you muttered, your voice barely audible even to yourself, “Sorry for not leaving a note.”
Rafe's expression shifted from relief to concern as he watched you, his brows furrowing with worry.
"You okay?"
You couldn’t bring yourself to meet his gaze, "I'm fine," you replied, your voice lacking conviction even to your own ears. "Just felt a little nauseous.”
His hand reached out tentatively as if he wanted to comfort you, but he hesitated, letting it fall back to his side. “I just woke up and you were gone, and I...I panicked."
You hated the fact you could pinpoint the sincerity in his voice so easily. It nearly killed you.
“We should go back.”
"Will you... will you be okay?" he asked, his voice hesitant.
You nodded, trying to muster up a reassuring smile, but it felt hollow and insincere. "I'll be fine," you lied, the words tasted bitter on your tongue, “Just need some rest.”
“Okay. Okay, yeah, let’s go back.”
As you stepped inside the room, the early sunlight washed over Rafe's face, highlighting the worry etched into his features. He watched you carefully, as if afraid you would’ve disappeared again at any moment. He tried to reach out and grab your arm, but you moved too quickly, and he was left grasping air.
You offered him a weak smile, ignoring the look on his face, "I'm sorry for leaving like that," you said, your voice tinged with genuine regret. "I’m fine.”
You didn’t think he believed you. He was watching you so closely. He took in how disheveled you looked. The mess of your hair, and barely laced-up shoes so you could get out the door faster. Rafe’s eyes pierce into your own, searching them for something as he took a deep breath to calm himself.
It took several tense moments before he finally spoke, “Is this about last night?”
Your body froze, panic taking over every single one of your muscles. What were you supposed to tell him? Lie? Tell him the truth and make him hate himself even more? Keep your pain down to hold his?
“It was a mistake.”
You went straight to the chase.
He stalked closer to you, and you took a step back reflexively, “A mistake?” he echoed between labored breaths, “A mistake?”
“Yeah," you stammered, trying to articulate your thoughts, "It's not right. We, we're just lonely."
You despised yourself for even hinting at it, but the tumultuous month spent with him had been bewildering, to say the least. You questioned whether you were truly good for each other.
"I thought..." he began, his voice trailing off as he struggled to find the right words.
The pain in his voice pierced your skin, a reminder of the consequences of your actions. But you needed to put yourself first.
“I’m sorry.”
Rafe's face contorted, his features tightening into a mask of disbelief. And you couldn’t blame him for whatever he was about to unleash on you.
“So, what? You're just gonna walk away?" He tried to bark, but his voice quivered from grief, “Stop looking at me?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” He scoffed, lips twisting into a sneer, as he started to pace around the room, his movements restless and agitated. “That’s funny.”
Rafe could act cold and stoic all he wanted; you could hear the hurt in your voice and sense the sadness in the words. He sounded broken.
"You're angry,” Your mouth ran dry, your heart lurching into your throat. "I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” he seethed, his voice a low growl that sent shivers down your spine, “Angry? You think you mean enough to me to make me angry?”
His words struck you like a physical blow, a slap to the face. You recoiled instinctively, the weight of his fury bearing down on you.
"I don't know what I mean to you," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper as you struggled to maintain your composure. "I just know that I can't keep doing this."
Rafe's laughter was bitter and mocking, a harsh sound that echoed off the walls of the room.
"Can't keep doing this?" he repeated, his voice laced with derision. "And what, exactly, is 'this'? Fucking? You can’t even say it.”
“You’re being an asshole.”
"An asshole?" he spat, "Is that what you think of me?"
You held his gaze, refusing to back down despite the hurting coursing through your veins. "You're acting like one.”
“Maybank,” His voice was still harsh as he lowered his head to try and meet your eyes. He was close enough that you were able to smell him, "You don't know anything about me, remember? Maybe the fucking really did confuse you.”
“Stop it,” Your voice broke a little, fighting the waterworks that were threatening to run down your cheeks, “Stop making it sound like it meant nothing to you.”
His eyes shut tightly, “Why are you doing this?”
“Because it’s wrong! Rafe—don’t you see it? I can’t do this, not with you of all fucking people, okay?”
He looked down at the carpet, a look of shame falling over his features as he ran a hand over his face, “You knew who I was since the beginning.”
You felt a surge of frustration rising within you, mingling with the anguish that threatened to overwhelm your senses. "Yeah, and every time I look at you now, I see everything that's wrong with me."
“And whose fault is that? Hmm? You said you didn’t want to stop. You wanted it, you wanted me.”
You staggered back, feeling as if the ground beneath your feet was shifting, uncertain, and unsteady.
"I wanted it," Rafe repeated, fingers digging into his chest, his voice raw with emotion, "I wanted you."
The admission hung in the air between you, everything left unsaid. You wanted to reach out to him, hug him as you had just hours ago, but you knew you couldn’t.
“We can’t.”
His eyes were slightly dewy, a somewhat defeated look to his gaze as he walked towards the door.
“Well, congrats Maybank. You won.”
The sound of the door slamming echoed through the room, the finality of it hitting you like a punch to the gut. You stood there, motionless, as the silence enveloped you. The weight of everything that had just transpired pressed down on your shoulders, threatening to crush you.
You sank to the floor, your back against the wall, and the tears came in a torrent. Sobs wracked your body, each one more painful than the last, as the reality of your situation washed over you. You had pushed him away, and hurt him, but what other choice did you have?
The quiet was almost eerie.
You couldn't deny that you had felt something for Rafe, something more than just anger and resentment.
But it was twisted, born out of shared trauma and desperation, wasn’t it? Wiping your tear-streaked face with trembling hands, you tried to gather yourself. You still needed to get home. In five days. How the fuck were you going to live in the same room with Rafe for five days after what went down? You couldn’t, you needed the money to pay off the men taking you back home.
You sat on the motel room floor for what felt like hours, the silence pressing in on you.
The weight of your words, of the confrontation, was suffocating. Eventually, exhaustion won out, and you crawled into bed, your mind too restless to allow for more than fitful dozing.
It was around 4 a.m. when the door to the motel room creaked open, startling you awake. You sat up, your heart pounding, straining to see in the dark. The figure that stumbled through the door was unmistakable: Rafe. His movements were unsteady, his clothes disheveled, and the sharp scent of alcohol hit you even from across the room.
“Rafe?”
He didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he leaned heavily against the doorframe, his eyes unfocused. He looked lost.
The anger that had driven him was gone, replaced by a hollow, almost haunted look. You had done that to him. You got out of bed, approaching him cautiously.
“What are you doing?” you asked, your voice tinged with worry.
He finally looked at you, his eyes bloodshot and filled with a mix of pain and regret. “I... I couldn’t stay away,” he slurred, his words thick with the effects of too much alcohol. “I tried, but...”
You sighed, the concern battling within you.
“Rafe, you’re drunk. You need to sit down.”
He let you guide him to the bed, his body heavy and uncooperative. Once he was seated, you grabbed a bottle of water from the small table and handed it to him.
“Drink this,” you instructed.
He took a sip, his hands shaking slightly. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, staring down at the floor. “For everything.”
It was the first time he ever apologized to you. You didn’t know what to say. Part of you wanted to comfort him, to tell him it was okay, but another part of you was still reeling from the emotional whirlwind of the past few days.
“You need to sleep this off,” you said instead, trying to keep your voice steady.
He nodded but didn’t move. Instead, he reached out, his hand brushing against yours. “I don’t want to be like him,” he confessed, “I can't."
If you allowed him to keep sputtering out his drunken thoughts you would’ve ended up crying your eyes out again, so instead you squeezed his hand, “Let’s just sleep, okay?”
He nodded again, his eyes drifting shut as the exhaustion and alcohol finally took their toll. You helped him lie down, covering him with the sheets. As you laid back down, you watched Rafe’s breathing even out, his face softening in sleep.
The next few days passed in a blur of tension and silence. That night?
It never happened.
Rafe didn’t spare you a glance from the moment he woke up, choosing to care for his hangover by himself. You and he moved around each other like ghosts, the motel room becoming a prison. You barely slept, the nightmares coming back with a vengeance, leaving you exhausted and on edge.
Every time you closed your eyes, you saw your father, Rafe, or the haunting echoes of your past, blending into a relentless cycle of fear and regret. You knew he’d been having nightmares as well, but you pretended to be asleep every time he woke up, chest heaving.
He seemed so caught in his torment. You could see it in the way he clenched his jaw, the way his hands would flex into fists and then relax as if he was battling some inner demon. He avoided you, constantly, and when he did speak, his words were clipped and distant. Your shared meals were silent, the clinking of cutlery the only sound breaking the oppressive quiet.
Even the TV stayed off.
On the fifth night, you lay awake in the dark, listening to the rhythm of Rafe's breathing from the other bed. It was uneven, indicating he was also awake.
“You’re not gonna end up like him.”
Rafe's breathing hitched, and you could almost feel his eyes on you through the darkness.
"I mean it," you continued, turning slightly to face his silhouette. "You're not your father, Rafe."
He didn't respond immediately, but you sensed a shift in the atmosphere, a subtle change in his posture. Finally, he sighed, the sound heavy and laden with years of unspoken fears and insecurities.
"How can you be so sure?" he murmured, his voice raw.
You took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "Because I've seen you. I've seen the parts of you that fight against becoming him. The parts that want to be better. And that matters."
He let out a bitter laugh. "I'm not sure it’s enough.”
“It is.”
“It’s not, Maybank. I’ve done enough damage for a lifetime. It’s the reason why you’re sleeping on the other side of the bed instead of right next to me.”
You wanted to reach out, to reassure him that he wasn’t alone, but you knew it wasn’t that simple.
“I’m still here,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “And I’m not leaving.”
“You already did.”
Ouch.
Before you could utter a single word, he turned his back to you.
“We’re leaving tomorrow. Sleep.”
“Rafe—”
“Goodnight.”
It took you hours to fall asleep. You lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, the events of the past weeks replaying in your mind. You thought of Rafe, of the hurt in his eyes, the way he had looked at you like you were the only thing keeping him tethered to reality.
The next morning, you didn’t bother much with packing, only shoving the pieces of clothing you’d collected in a backpack. It felt torturous, to be so close to Rafe yet so far away. He didn’t speak a word as he packed his things, his movements stiff and mechanical. You wanted to break the silence, but every time you opened your mouth, the words seemed to stick in your throat. The taxi drive to the port was just as unbearable. You stared out the window, watching the landscape blur past, your mind racing with thoughts of what could have been, what should have been.
Once you arrived, you and Rafe stepped out, the silence between you as impenetrable as ever. The boat that would take you both back home loomed ahead. He took the lead, heading towards the ticket booth with his shoulders hunched, and you followed, your steps heavy with reluctance.
You were still scared shitless of those men. They were only helping you because at some point Rafe had helped them smuggle drugs into the States, and that did not leave you the least bit reassured over their intentions.
Finding a spot on the deck, you both settled into a tense silence, the hum of the boat’s engine and the cries of seagulls filling the void between you. The sun was beginning to rise, casting a golden hue over the water, but the beauty of the scene did little to ease the knot of anxiety tightening in your chest.
He leaned against the railing, his gaze fixed on the horizon, his face a mask void of any emotion.
You watched him for a moment, torn between wanting to reach out to him and the fear that doing so would only make things worse.
Finally, unable to bear the silence any longer, you cleared your throat. “Rafe,” you began hesitantly, “I—”
Before you could finish, he turned to you, his expression weary. “We don’t have to talk about it,” he said, his voice flat. “Not now.”
You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Okay.”
“Just stay low, stay quiet. My dad got eyes everywhere.”
From the corner of your eye you spotted one of the men. Tall, burly, with a scar running down his cheek. He simply nodded towards the cargo boat and for a minute you’re taken back to your first day stuck with the Cameron’s, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was about to go terribly wrong.
Rafe walked in front of you again, entering the ship, rounding his way through the halls behind the sketchy guy, only stopping when he knocked on a door, after a moment, it swung open to reveal a bald shot man, eyes way too big for his face, which flicked over you and Rafe, a predatory smile curling his lips.
“Well, well, look who decided to show up,” he drawled, his voice laced with mockery. “You’re late.”
“Had some complications,” Rafe replied curtly, his posture tense.
The man’s smile widened. “Complications, huh? Well, come on in”
You followed Rafe inside, your heart racing. The interior of the room was pretty dark, the air thick with the smell of smoke and something you couldn’t quite identify. Nor did you want to.
“Rafe,” the older man said, his voice cold and commanding. “I was starting to think you’d forgotten about our arrangement.”
“Never,” Rafe replied, his tone clipped. “I brought the money.”
He handed over a thick envelope, and the man behind the desk took it, flipping through the bills with a practiced eye. After a moment, he nodded, satisfied.
“Good,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “Now, let’s discuss the other part of our deal.”
Rafe stiffened. “I told you, I’m out. I’m not running anything for you anymore.”
The man’s eyes narrowed, his smile turning dangerous. “I don’t think you understand. You don’t get to just walk away.”
You felt a chill run down your spine as the tension in the room escalated. The man behind the desk stood up, his gaze shifting to you.
“And who’s this?” he asked, his tone menacing.
“No one,” Rafe said quickly. “She has nothing to do with this.”
The man chuckled, a low, sinister sound. “Oh, I think she has everything to do with this.”
He took a step towards you, and instinctively, you backed away, your heart pounding in your chest. Rafe moved to place himself between you and the older man, his jaw clenched.
“Leave her out of this.”
“You see, your daddy dearest called in last night. Told me about a loose piece he had to get rid off…a pretty one. Guess this is her?”
"That's none of your business," Rafe growled, his voice filled with a warning, body still shielding yours.
The older man laughed, the sound grating against your nerves. "Oh, but it is my business, Rafe. You see, your daddy and I, we go way back. And when he asks for a favor, I don't say no."
You felt a surge of terror at his words, your mind racing to find a way out of this situation. "Rafe, we need to go," you whispered urgently, tugging on his arm.
He didn't move, his eyes locked on the man before him. "We're leaving," Rafe said firmly, his voice unwavering. "Now."
The man smirked, his gaze shifting between you and Rafe. "You think you can just walk out of here? You're in deep, Cameron. And now, so is she."
Rafe's jaw tightened, his hands clenching into fists. "We're not doing this.”
The older man took a step closer, his eyes gleaming with malicious intent.
"You have two choices, Rafe. You either do as I say, or she pays the price like Ward asked.”
Your heart pounded in your chest, fear coursing through your veins. You couldn't let Rafe get pulled back into this world, but you also couldn't bear the thought of what might happen if you stayed.
"Rafe, please," you pleaded, your voice trembling.
Rafe’s gaze flicked to you as if he was memorizing your features, from your eyes down to your lips. You could see the gears turning inside his brain and it made you sick to your stomach when he took a deep breath, his eyes hardening with resolve, “Run.”
Before you could process his words, Rafe launched himself at the older man, tackling him to the ground. The suddenness of the movement caught everyone off guard, but you knew you had to act quickly. Heart pounding, you turned and bolted out of the room, dropping your backpack in the process, your footsteps echoing down the dimly lit corridor.
Behind you, you could hear the sounds of struggle—grunts, crashes, and the thud of bodies hitting the floor. You didn’t dare look back, knowing that every second counted. Rafe had told you to run.
The ship's layout was confusing, with identical-looking hallways and doors leading to who-knew-where. You sprinted through the maze of metal and dim lights, your breath coming in ragged gasps. The distant sound of shouting and commotion indicated that the fight was far from over. You turned a corner and collided with one of the burly men from earlier. He grabbed your arm, his grip like a vise.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he snarled.
Panic surged through you, but you fought it down, remembering the self-defense moves Rafe had taught you back at Ward’s island. You stomped on his foot and jabbed your elbow into his ribs, wrenching your arm free as he grunted in pain. Without wasting a second, you continued running, your legs burning with effort.
You burst onto the deck, the cold, salty air hitting you like a slap. The early morning light was just beginning to brighten the horizon, casting long shadows across the deck. You looked around frantically, searching for any means of escape. Your eyes landed on a lifeboat secured to the side of the ship. Without hesitation, you made your way towards it, fumbling with the ropes that held it in place. Your fingers were shaking, but you managed to free the boat. As you were about to lower it into the water, a rough hand grabbed your shoulder and spun you around. It was the man with the scar, his face twisted in anger.
“Going somewhere?” he sneered.
You tried to fight him off, but he was too strong.
Just when you thought all hope was lost, a loud bang echoed across the deck. The man with the scar froze, his grip loosening. You took the opportunity to break free, scrambling away from him.
Rafe stood at the entrance to the deck, a gun in his hand and determination in his eyes. The man with the scar raised his hands slowly, backing away.
“You okay?” Rafe asked, his voice tight with concern.
“I think so.”
“Come here.”
Without thinking, you ran to Rafe, your heart pounding with fear and relief. His arms wrapped around you tightly, and gently pulled you back, his eyes searching yours to make sure you were okay, but before you could assure him you were fine, he kissed you. His lips pressed firmly against yours, and you felt his tongue gently parting your lips, exploring with a tenderness that made your knees weak. It felt so…real, it nearly brought you to your knees. As cheesy as it sounded, it felt like time stood still for you, the rest of the world ceasing to exist.
Until reality broke you again.
Rafe's body tensed suddenly. You heard a muffled sound, like a distant pop, but it took a moment for your mind to register what had happened. His grip on you loosened, and he staggered, his breath hitching in pain.
No, no, no, no.
"Rafe?” You caught him as he fell to his knees, eyes darting around, searching for the source of the shot. Your eyes nearly popped out of your head as you watched a showdown between the so-called human traffickers and the fucking police. This had to be a fucking nightmare, no way, were you getting caught in a crossfire.
Rafe clutched his side, blood seeping through his fingers, staining his white shirt. His face was scarily pale, and he struggled to stay upright.
"You need to...get out of here," he managed to say, his voice strained, “Right now.”
“I’m not leaving you, you fuckin—Shit, Rafe. Fuck!” You looked around frantically, your heart pounding in your chest. The island, which had seemed like a safe haven moments ago, now felt like a trap. "Can you walk?" you asked, trying to keep the panic from your voice.
“Does it look like I can walk, pretty Maybank?”
A sob broke through you, “Don’t try to be fucking funny, you got shot!”
“Baby, you—“ he coughed, blood seeping through his teeth, "You gotta go home.”
"Stop talking!" you repeated, your voice trembling with desperation. You looked around again, trying to find a way out, a way to save him, anything. But the chaos around you was overwhelming. The police and the traffickers were engaged in a fierce shootout, bullets whizzing through the air, ricocheting off metal, and splintering wood.
Rafe's hand tightened weakly around yours.
"Listen to me," he said, his voice just a whisper. "You have to...Go gome."
Tears streamed down your face as you shook your head. "I can't leave you here."
You knew you had to move, had to find help, but leaving him there felt like tearing your heart out. As you turned to peek around one final time, you heard a shout from behind you. "Freeze!" a police officer yelled, his gun trained on you.
You stopped, your hands raised, your mind racing. "Please, help him," you begged, pointing to Rafe. "He's been shot."
The officer's eyes flicked to Rafe, then back to you. "We need to secure the area first," he said, his tone firm but not unkind.
"Please," you repeated, your voice breaking. "He's dying."
The officer hesitated, then spoke into his radio. "Officer down, need medical assistance immediately."
Another officer approached, his gun drawn, and you saw his gaze soften as he took in Rafe's condition. "We'll get him help," he assured you, "but we need to get you out of here safely."
“I’m not leaving without him,” You made the mistake to glance back one last time, your heart breaking as you saw Rafe's eyes close, his body slumping against the ground, “No, no, no! Keep your eyes open, I swear to god—” Your hands trembled as you tried to staunch the flow of blood with your already stained clothing, "Stay with me," you pleaded, your voice cracking.
His eyes fluttered open briefly, a weak smile touching his lips.
"You... have to... go," he whispered, his breath coming in shallow gasps, "Go."
Before you could respond, you felt strong hands grip your shoulders, pulling you back. "We need to get you to safety," one of the officers said firmly, trying to drag you away from Rafe.
"No! Let me go! I can't leave him!" you screamed, fighting against their hold.
"Ma'am, we need to get you out of the line of fire," the officer insisted, his grip tightening as he pulled you to your feet.
Through your tears, you saw more officers surrounding Rafe, their voices urgent as they called for medical assistance. You watched helplessly as they began to administer first aid, their movements efficient but hurried. As the officers dragged you away against your will, your eyes never left Rafe.
You struggled against their hold, but their grip was unyielding. "Please, don't let him die," you sobbed, your voice breaking with despair.
"We're doing everything we can," one of the officers reassured you, guiding you towards the edge of the deck where a police boat was waiting.
You stumbled, your legs weak with fear and exhaustion, but the officers held you steady. As you were helped onto the police boat, you turned back one last time, your heart breaking at the sight of Rafe lying on the deck, surrounded by officers and paramedics. You clutched the railing, your knuckles white, as the boat pulled away from the ship, the distance between you and Rafe growing with each passing second.
The journey back to shore was a blur of sirens, flashing lights, and the distant sound of helicopter blades cutting through the air. The police officers tried to reassure you, but their words were lost in the whirlwind of your thoughts.
When the boat finally docked, you were met by a flurry of activity. Paramedics rushed forward, checking you for injuries, while police officers asked you questions about what had happened. You answered them mechanically, your mind still focused on Rafe, praying that he would survive. Hours seemed to pass in a haze of questions, medical checks, and statements. You told them everything. Finally, you were allowed to sit down, your body heavy with exhaustion. A police officer approached you, his expression kind but serious.
"Rafe Cameron is being taken to the hospital," he said gently. "He's in critical condition, but the paramedics are doing everything they can."
You nodded numbly, the weight of his words pressing down on you. "Can I see him?"
“’No visitors will be allowed, kid. We checked your backgrounds. If he survives, he’ll be taken into custody, his father is Ward Cameron, the feds are going to need him.”
You nearly threw up at how easily he said, “if he survives”. There couldn’t be no fucking ifs, he wasn’t dying. Not like this. Not after everything.
Your knees buckled, and you had to sit down, the reality of the situation pressing down on you like a ton of bricks. The officer helped you to a bench, his face sympathetic but firm. “I understand this is hard, but we need to follow protocol. He’s a key witness and suspect in multiple ongoing investigations.”
You nodded, your mind barely processing his words. The world felt distant, and surreal. “Can I at least know which hospital?”
The officer hesitated for a moment, then relented. “St. Michael’s. But you won’t be allowed to call until we clear things with the authorities.”
“Call? I want to visit.”
He sighed, taking a seat next to you, “Kid. I’m really sorry, but you won’t be here. You’re a kidnapping victim and there’s a direct order to take you back home, you’ve been reported missing for over a month now.”
Your mind reeled, struggling to process the officer's words. Missing? For over a month? It felt like a lifetime and no time at all had passed since you'd been caught up in this nightmare.
"I can't leave him," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "Not like this."
The officer's expression softened. "I understand, but this is out of my hands. We need to get you back to your family. They'll be worried sick."
What family?
You wanted to shout in his face. JJ was still missing for all you knew and Luke hadn't stepped foot home in months. You felt a surge of helplessness.
“I can't just leave him."
The officer looked taken aback but remained resolute. "We're going to get you home safely. You'll be able to follow up on Rafe's condition, but right now, you need to come with us."
The officer stood up, motioning for you to follow. Reluctantly, you got to your feet, every step feeling like a betrayal to Rafe.
As you were led out of the police station and into a waiting car, your mind raced with thoughts of him , lying in a hospital bed, fighting for his life, by himself. You couldn't bear the thought of him waking up alone, without knowing that you were there for him.
If he ever woke up.
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Villian and Violent
SPOILER WARNING ! SPOILER WARNING ! SPOILER WARNING!
If you haven't watched Outer Banks season 4 part 2, DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT READ THIS
AN: this fic is strictly for @jlovesjj, I DO NOT write for Rafe <3, she is just a very very sad girl, in light of the recent events, I am trying to provide her with any comfort so she can stop crying. Thank you and good day.
Pairing: Rafe x Reader, bsf!JJ x reader
Warnings: It's sad, angst, death, violence, not edited (She's impatient)
You all look up to the statue that the crown was hopefully in. All you you could barely see due to the sand storm enclosing you all.
"Hey! I'm gonna go up and scope it out!" Rafe shouts over the deafening wind in your ears.
"I'm not leaving it up to him!" JJ shouts back to the group, you can practically feel Rafe rolling his eyes as he grabs your hand. Like hell is he letting you leave his sight.
"No, I'm with you!" Kiara says, joining JJ. You look back and barely see Sarah and John B struggling, She doesn't look okay, so you hear JJ shout to them.
"Hey! John B, you two sit this one out, okay? We'll find the crown..." That's the last you heard as you and Rafe make your way up the hill. Once you make it to the top of the hill, you and Rafe both meet each other's eyes. Then he starts trying to climb up the statue, he doesn't get three feet up, before the wind knocks him back down, You look at him and realise once he stands back up that it wasn't just the wind it was also his hand still bothering him. He holds it close you his chest, looking at you as both Kiara and JJ come racing up the hill.
"Hey! I can't get up there, not with this hand!" He shouts at JJ and Kie. You see them both have a conversation that you can't hear, even with them a few feet away, it's hard to hear yourself think.
"Right now this is our chance! They've taken everything away from us. They're not gonna take this too!" He pulls down his mouth covering so Kiara can hear him better. "I gotta do this, I gotta do this for all of us. I mean, hey, it was my fault to begin with. So, I mean, I should be the one to fix it."
They hug each other and JJ moves over to you and Rafe, getting ready to climb. You step up to him and say, "Hey, you're my best friend, so don't do anything stupid."
He hugs you and speaks, "I'll try."
He lets you go and looks to Rafe, Rafe helps him step up onto the platform, "You got it!"
"Hey! You'll get your cut!" JJ yells, before beginning his climb up. Rafe and you both climb down to stand with Kie and watch JJ as he moves up the statue. You hold Kiara's hand as you watch some of the old loose rocks fall around him. Suddenly he's only hanging on by one hand. You gasp as Kiara shouts his name.
Once he finally gets himself to the large platform you feel as though you can finally take a breath. As you watch JJ you hear a voice. "They have to be up here!"
You all meet each others eyes, Rafe speaks first, "Shit, here they come."
Kie shouts to JJ, trying to get his attention, but he seems confident that he can get the crown in time. "Hey! You stay here. I'll go down and buy us some time."
Kiara nods as you step to go with Rafe, "What? Rafe, are you crazy? They'll kill you!"
"I'm a killer too, I've got nothing to lose." He shouts then looks at you, "You're staying here."
"You can't make me." You yells back firmly. He knows that there is no use in fighting and you're losing time. he makes his way down the hill with you trailing behind him.
Rafe makes you stay back as you approach the group of Mercenaries, he has the luck of the storm not his side, so that they don't see him coming. He goes and cuts the man from behind, as he works with that man you see one heading your way. You're by the man's side so while he looks through the scope of his gun you shove the barrel down and jam the butt of the gun into his jaw. It knocks him down for a second before you step back and he grabs your ankle, tripping you. You stumble as he gets up and he makes his way towards you. Without any weapon, you're out of luck, he's already grabbed his gun, so you make a run for it.
You head into the small village, trying to outrun the guy. You stumble into a deserted house and looks for anything that could be considered a weapon.
"Come out you little bitch!" he shouts, by the door frame of the house, she sees the barrel of the gun and jumps out for the behind the wall and slams a stone to his head. Blood starts flowing from the top of his head, but that only slowed him down and made him more angry. He did happen to drop his gun of the impact, you grab it and slam the butt of the gun to his forehead before you can even think about what you're doing. he falls to the ground with a heavy 'thump', and you finally take a breath. You hang onto the gun, just for safekeeping, as you set a mission to find Rafe. That's when you hear a soft gunshot in the distance, you immediately perk up and try to run to the source, but with this wind and all the walls that carried it, it could be from anywhere. You head down different passageways and alleys and houses.
Once you travel far enough and the storm starts slowing down, you can finally hear something. You think it's Rafe, your worst fear is him being hurt or worse but what you come upon is much worse than anything you can imagine. You can now recognize that the sounds you heard was not in fact Rafe, it was Kie, she was leaning onto JJ's legs, crying, then you realise the small movements of JJ's chest is gone, that he sits there lifeless. You drop the heavy gun and start to tear up, Kiara doesn't even look your way, you don't think she even cares about anything other than JJ in this moment.
You start to feel your knees buckle before strong arms wrap around your middle, You'd try to get them off but you realise you have no more fight left in your body, after the days of being on the run with lack of food and water, it's finally caught up to you, and all it took was seeing your best friends body lifeless on the ground. You move a little, mumbling something about getting off of you and then you hear a whisper, "It's me, It's me."
At the sound of you boyfriends soft you, you finally let yourself fall, letting out a horrendous sound out of the back of your mouth. Rafe lets his back fall down the wall with you in his arms. You both sit the on the stone in each others arms as he rocks you back and forth.
You can't even think, a life without your best friend in it's not a life worth living.
Rafe shushes you, saying soft words into your ears. You don't even notice when the rest of the group stumbles upon you guys, you don't think you even care.
You feel pathetic as Rafe carries you back, he has to set you down to go up a large sand dune, but he doesn't let go of your hand at any point. You sit next to him as he buries a grave for JJ's body, you watch him as he lowers it into the sand, you shake as he slowly covers it back up with sand.
You sit with your back to his front as you sit before the fire. You have cried all your tears, your eyes feel dry and body feels weak, as Rafe supports your body. Your eyes get heavy as Rafe whispers to you, "you'll be alright, I promise."
You don't believe him, you think he's lying, but it was nice to hear anyways.
Likes and Reblogs are appreciated
#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#outerbanks rafe#rafe x reader#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron fanfiction#obx x reader#outer banks fanfiction#jj maybank#jj mayback x reader#jj mayback imagine#outer banks#obx season 4#obx#obx 4#Spotify
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After The War: Foxx Hunting (Prev <-)
"Commander."
On anyone else, the tone would suggest simple statement. But there was a lilt. A slight inflection, I had long learned to spot, at the end of the word. That made it a greeting. A call. Monotone filled with subtle, near untraceable mocking.
"Tired of running yet, Commander? Or do you want to struggle more? You can, if you want. I can let you. We have time. After all, it really won't change much. There's no where you can go."
Head tilted ever so slightly, at an almost an invisible angle. Posture, military perfect, impossibly so. That perfection bought with pain, torture, born out of brutal necessity. His lips quirked, in an amused curl. At just that same, impossibly slight amount. Too small and indistinct for his tormentors to notice. To take from him.
Just enough to stay human, I had thought. Too stay sane, I had hoped.
I was wrong.
My biggest mistake hunted me. Had all the power in the GALAXY now, to hunt me. All the time he could ever dream, in which to do so. And it was all my fault. Me. It had to be. I... I was the only thing that changed. Tried to make things... things BETTER!
How arrogant. Hubristic. Who the fuck was I? To think I had the RIGHT, to shape and change the fate of an entire GALAXY to my whims? I didn't even know the story. Had been GUESSING, based off STAR WARS. So... so fucking confident. A-and what did that get me? Oh god. O-Oh god!
The blaster burns on my arms and legs screamed, as I forced myself up, one more time. Always, please god, always! J-just one more time! Don't give out on me yet. Not.. not until we are safe. Then. Then! We can cry. Howl and weep, break down and scream.
(My fault. My Fault. MY FAUL-)
None of the characters were an exact match. People were and weren't where they should be. Plots happened out of sequence or not at all. So why? WHY? Did I believe so hard in the Clones? IS it because I loved, still LOVE, the Vode? Did that trust transfer? That emotional connection? Was I tricked? Or was I just a fool? Does it MATTER in the end? If the result is the same?
I brought a monster, straight to Power.
Now they're dead. All my brothers, my sisters, my mentors and friends. Dead, dead, DEAD! Glowing weapons on the ground and a temple filled with DEATH. D-Did the nurseries get out? Please, oh god, let the children have survived my mistake.
Blood stains my robes. Only a tiny fraction of it, is mine.
Sticky and slick, oily and so many colors. The blood does not mix. Too many species, too much ash from the air. If I do not clean or remove it soon? I am likely to get chemical burns, from the reactions developing on the cloth. But again and again. My mistake finds me. A pursuit predator. Intent on wearing me down.
"How long will you try, Commander? You know just as well as I do, that I can afford to wait you out. You'll drop eventually." His tone was so mild, even as his words were horrifying. Overhead, a transport kept steady pace, as I desperately ran from commandos on the streets. "How many days has it been without proper rest? Rations? To stop and think? We've survived far worse then this, Commander. For far longer. We can endure, can you?"
I pull my magic around me, through my screaming legs, to fling myself across a jump they shouldn't be able to make.
Despair surges, as behind me... I hear jetpacks. Ah. They've gotten better gear, at long last. E-Everything I've ever wished for them. Gear and food and safety, at long last! A-At long last. I have to laugh, hysterical and afraid. I just... I just never thought my wish? Would be fulfilled for the purpose of hunting me down.
(I'm so tired. Please, god. No more. Let it stop. Let this nightmare END!)
Jumping, I land in a roll on a level several floors down. The impact is ugly. Agony on my burns and bruises. I may have not taken any direct hits? But those glancing strikes? Still leave marks. Trails of seared, blistering, blaster burns. Like tiger strips. As though you hade been struck, by whip made of fire. Not to mention the concussion grenades.
Yeah, half way through the attack, the Clones had stumbled. Either broken free of the Not Sith's control or come to their senses, deciding to switch to non-lethal weapons. Probably trying to go for the capture instead of the kill. But given the sheer variety of the Knights? One Being's sedative was another's lethal toxin. And the gas attacks...
I... I'm still not even sure if... if Master Rim'Llahiy survived long enough, to get to the healers. The seizures were BAD. He... he didn't deserve that. All he'd ever done, was keep the gardens. Live a quite life. T...Try to defend his home.
Around me, as I run, screens light up. Somehow, I'm the focal point. I... I don't know how he's doing this. It has to be Sketch or Gear, one of the Slicers. Who else could hack into so many systems so easily? The... the knowledge that they're helping him? That everyone of the Guard is HELPING him hunt me? I feel sick.
Was any of it real? Was I friends with ANY of them? Or... Or was I just them happy little slave master, patting myself on the back, because I didn't beat them, unlike the others? Aren't I gracious. Don't you just love me? Say thank you for my grace. Let me feel good about my self! My pretty little charity of the day! Before I skip back off to fairy land! Leaving you all in hell.
Do I deserve this? I... I have to deserve this... right?
Even though I tried. Even though I fought and fought and FOUGHT. Even when that Not A Sith BASTARD tried to kill me at every turn, just to shut me the fuck up, and I WOULDN'T. Because they deserved to be free. Because it was WRONG. Because we took VOWS, remember? Days and days, convincing and campaigning.
I have to... to somehow, deserve this. Because? B-because if I DON'T?
Then What Have I DONE?
City levels and blocks blur together. I couldn't tell you where on this god forsaken ecumenopolis I am anymore. But the others! The others have gotten off planet by now. Surely... surely! They have escaped! Right? They HAVE too. I-It HAS to have been worth it. Becoming bait. M-making myself a target. This... this one last time?
It.. it was WORTH it. Right? Right?!
Please! Please god! Let it have been WORTH IT!!
I skid around a corner. Too tight, not judging it right in my panic, my shoulder clipping the wall hard. Scraping flesh through my robes. Just more bruises and hurt to add to the pile. I don't slow. Can't slow. Feel it but push the pain away. The crash later will be ugly, when I release the magics flowing through me. When the adrenaline fades. But... but either I will live to endure it? Or it will not matter at all.
Too late, though, I see the trap.
I have been corralled. Like a a sheep from my first life, harried by dogs into a pen. Tricked into a corner. No where left to go. The platform I thought was a street? Was an alley between two buildings, leading to a third. A perfect little killbox with only one way out. I stumble, horrified, as I register the truth too late. Spin, already knowing it's too late to double back. But hoping... HOPING....!
Jetpacks. The commando squadron of the guards, touching down at the entrance, a solid line of armor and skill. Better weapons, jet packs, upgraded armor. They... they even seem rested. For the first time in years.
A stark reversal. Now it is I, who is barely holding on. Now I am the one, who has been ground to dust, by the exhaustion of fighting without end. Of running and running. No real food and no real rest. No medicine. No help coming. I want to laugh, scream, weep. So it's to be poetic justice, is it?
But I can not give in.
Forgive me. But I can not, WILL NOT give in. Body exhausted, I draw my blade. The plasma humming as the magics charge. The alleyway fills with light. I took Vows. Owe my soul to the Galaxy and it's people. Regardless of Regime, I have service I must complete. And to do that? I have to be alive.
(I don't care, that they took over. Let them have it. But how could you? How COULD YOU?! The Temple was my home. I am a hypocrite. Here, at the end, I must face that. And now I know it to be true.)
The ship over head dips lower, kicking up a hurricane of wind. My robes whip around me, but I do not move from my opening stance. Ready, not ready, but resigned to it none the less. The Commandos are a silent wall as, from above, a rip cord descends. Clipped to it? Marshall Commander... no, Supreme Commander Foxx.
The Clones newly elected Emperor.
A man I THOUGHT was my friend.
He looked nothing like Commander Fox of the Vode. Hair too long and curling. Face deceptively young looking and boyish. Non regulation piercing hidden under the helmet all Guards wore, day in and day out. They hadn't been able to customize their armor like the others. So they customized themselves.
He wasn't in armor, now. It was somehow worse. The dress uniform an affront, a reminder, like a curse of broken glass. I... I hadn't even known he owned such a thing. It made sense, given his old position. Yet, somehow... somehow? I doubted this was the uniform he had been given. It looked... looked Regal.
"Are we done, now? Got it out of your system? Or should one of us put you on the ground first? Grind your face right against the filthy floor?"
His voice was mild as ever, as he calmly unclipped himself, let the cord retract. He tucked his hands behind his back. Strolled forward with measured steps, assessing eyes, like a general examining untested troops. Picking me apart for weakness, looking for openings in my stance. Injuries on my body. I had seen him do this before. Just... just never thought... it'd be used... a-against me. (How arrogant, I had been.)
"This can stop at any time, Commander. All you have to do? Is stop running. You don't have to worry anymore. I'm not going to hurt you. We're not going to hurt you. You've struggled long enough, don't you think? It's time to be done. To come home. Be taken care off. That's all we want to do, Darling. Commander."
"Surely you can see, that it's BETTER this way? No more war. No more Knights on sabotaged missions. Diplomats to war zones. Children where they shouldn't BE. The Order can be SAFE now. YOU can be safe now. Loved and precious as you always should have been. It's okay now, Commander. Come here. It's okay..."
Foxx's eyes blazed with conviction. They had been brown, like his brothers. They... oh god, they SHOULD have been brown. But as I stared into his face, at those unfamiliar eyes on what should be so familiar a form? Red stared back. The red, Red, RED, of the Fallen.
Foxx had been... had been Energy Sensitive. The Cloners had fucking LIED, when they said it wasn't possible. I had always suspected. Didn't dare bring attention to it. Didn't want my friend to be... to be KILLED. Experimented on. I should have trained him. Done more.
Desperate people will reach for anything, to stop themselves from drowning. And the Dark offers such tempting things. Vengeance and Power. Freedom, no matter the cost. It pays sweetly then corrupts slow. There is always a cost.
I can not risk it.
Shifting my weight to my front leg, in preparation to surge forward, I never get the chance. A two fold thwip! And sharp pinch in my upper arm. I got the first. But the second... a? Dart? No. NO! Panicked, I flood my body with the magics meant to purge drugs and... instantly the world spins. I have somehow just made it worse. W-what?
"Confiscated from slavers, 'bout five months back. It's a high end drug." The Commando with the dart gun said, as though commentingon the weather. "Fairly new, too. Made to react specifically to the Cosmic Energies. Our esteemed Chancellor, may he rot as he deserves, had them developed through several shell companies."
"Really wish you hadn't done that, Commander. Cause, see, the side effects? Are pretty nasty." Foxx commented. Various helmets nodded, the guards body language sympathetic but lacking any remorse. What ever it took to bring me in. To make me Safe.
"Now you're going to be sick for a while. But on the other hand? You are a stubborn one. So maybe this'll give you time to think, hmm? Time to enjoy the pampering a bit. You'll get used to it, learn to be good for me. I know you. You're a smart girl."
My legs couldn't hold me anymore. Despite struggling, I couldn't keep my blade at the ready. Helplessly, I watched as he watched forward. Used a single finger, on the hilt, to push my blade to the side. The lightest of tugs, stealing it from me entirely. At long last, the tears came. I... I was scared. Really, really scared. P-please... Foxx, please...
"Hunts over, Commander. It's time to stop running. You've lost."
"But, that? That's okay. You can lose now. Be weak. Wretched and pathetic and flawed. You don't have to be perfect any more, Commander. I've got you. You're Mine. Ours. Perfect, just the way you are. And today?"
"Today is the start of the rest of your new life, Commander."
"Welcome to the Empire."
#threepandas#yandere#yandere x reader#yanblr#reader insert#yanderecore#bad end after the war#bad end after the war au#sci fi yandere#yandere clone#yandere clone troopers#yandere clones#yandere star wars#but not really#off brand star wars#i cant believe its not star wars!#foxx is twink Fox#yes his name is intentionally misspelled#i like to think im very clever#knight reader
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Oliver Queen when found out his son had remained friends with Jason Todd
Oliver Queen stood by his window, drawing back his bowstring, a steely focus in his eyes.
Oliver (whispering): All right, stand still.
As he prepared to take his shot, Roy was chatting with Jason when he caught sight of his father on the balcony, bowstring drawn and arrow ready. Acting on instinct, Roy tackled Jason to the ground just as Oliver released the arrow, which narrowly missed them both.
Roy (breathing heavily): Could you not try to kill him?!
Oliver (shouting angrily): I was aiming for his leg!
Jason, unfazed, lay on the ground, smirking.
Jason (mockingly): Destroy my leg, but spare my life… I respect that.
Roy rolled his eyes as he stood up.
Roy (grinning): He says he respects that it wasn't a kill shot!
Oliver (frustrated): I don’t care about his opinion! But thanks nonetheless!
Jason picked himself up, brushing off the dirt and ready to stir the pot.
Jason (tauntingly): Are you still butt hurt that I made you cry like a baby when I called you out?
Oliver’s face flushed with anger.
Oliver (defensive): That was allergies, you idiot! Just stay away from my son—you’re a bad influence!
Jason laughed, crossing his arms.
Jason (smirking): Hey, it’s not my fault I took care of your son better than you did!
Oliver’s expression hardened as he considered nocking another arrow.
Oliver (shouting): You son of a bitch! I did take care of him!
Jason stepped closer, challenging Oliver.
Jason: You kicked him out of the house and stripped him of his hero status when you found out he was on drugs!
Oliver (poorly defending himself): He’s alive right now, so it worked out! I am a good father!
Jason laughed, shaking his head.
Roy: Jason, let’s just leave.
Jason: No, no, I love this I'm not leaving until he cries!
Jason stepped forward, raising his voice.
Jason: Good fathers don’t disown their kids and refuse to help them! You make my father look like a saint; at least he tried! He was a hypocrite for most of it, but you kicked your son out instead of helping him! Just because he's turned out fine doesn’t fix anything!
Oliver shook with rage, angrily preparing another arrow, but Dinah suddenly walked outside and snatched it away.
Dinah: Act like an adult, or I’m calling off date night!
Roy put his phone away, having texted Black Canary about the argument upstairs.
Roy: Thanks, Dinah.
Dinah: You’re welcome! Good to see you again, Roy and Jason. I don’t like you that much Jason, but Oliver is overreacting.
She smacked Oliver lightly on the back of the head before going back inside with the arrows. Oliver groaned, resting his forehead on the railing of the balcony.
Jason: Want to cry again? I can slash the tires on your new car if you need some extra motivation.
Roy chuckled and shook his head, but Oliver, visibly irritated and embarrassed, pulled out his phone.
Oliver (firmly): You know what? I don’t care if you two are adults. I’m calling Bruce and telling on you!
Jason's eyes widened, panic flashing across his face as Oliver retreated to his bedroom.
Jason (threateningly): Old man, I will throw a rock through every single window of your house if you dial his number!
With a defiant smirk, Jason bolted toward the mansion, with Roy hot on his heels, secretly enjoying the chaos.
How it started
#oliver queen#jason todd#roy harper#roy harper arsenal#red hood#green arrow#microfiction#flash fiction#batfamily comedy#batfamily#batman#batfamily chronicles#batfamily shenanigans#headcanon batfamily#batfamily headcanons#batfamily microseries#batfamily fanfiction#script fic#part of my batfamily flash fiction#batfamily fic#batfamily funny#batfamily fluff#dc fanfiction#batfamily chronicles flash fiction#batfamily flash fiction#bruce wayne
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Adam: Cain, look everywhere for Charlie.
Cain: Yes dad.
*Lucifer and Adam were being ushered into a limo taking them to an interview because the humans thought they were some famous couples getting married, which made Adam and Lucifer separated from the rest of the group*
Adam internally: I wish I was getting married to Luci.
*they were shoved in a room that was preparing them for the interview*
Adam: Did you really mean it?
Lucifer: Mean what?
Adam: Mean it when you said I was beautiful.
Lucifer: I meant it 100%, the last few months have been a worse Hell than the one we live in because you are no longer in my life and it is all my fault. I am so fucking sorry.
*Lucifer reached over and caressed Adam’s cheek, Adam’s lip trembled and Lucifer was so tempted to kiss him*
Adam: I forgive you.
*the crew swept in and got them ready, Adam blushed even more realizing they thought he was a woman when they put him in a stylish dress, put extensions in his hair, and put makeup on him, he noted that Lucifer was practically drooling because of how the dress clung to his body, they were led out to a cheering crowd and smarmy talk show host that made them both think of Vox, Adam gently nudged Lucifer*
Adam: Maybe he is related to Vox.
*that comment made Lucifer giggle, they sat down as the crowd cheered*
Talkshow host: You two are the talk of the town, getting married and having a baby-
Adam: Babies, I recently found out I am having twins. A boy and a girl.
*but Adam was looking right at Lucifer when he said this, the teary smile Lucifer gave Adam melted Adam’s heart*
Lucifer: Twins…… they will be as beautiful as their mother.
*pretty much everyone in the audience went awwwww hearing that*
Talkshow host: Wait, where is your engagement ring?
Lucifer: Don’t worry, she accidentally dropped and I forgot to give it back.
*Lucifer pulled out the most beautiful ring Adam had ever seen, but he noticed Lucifer’s lips moving without saying anything, Adam nearly started crying tears of joy when he realized the lip movements were saying “I love you Addie, will you marry me,” Adam just held out his hand and nodded while he made the lip movements sayin “I love you too Luci,” Lucifer slid the ring on Adam’s finger, he realized what this meant, once the divorce between Lucifer and Lilith was finalized he was actually going to marry Adam, Adam couldn’t help it and he gave Lucifer a very passionate kiss as they clung to each other*
Cletus: How can you celebrate that freak.
*Cletus was pointing at Adam which made Lucifer glare at both Cletus and Keenie, but Collin looked uncomfortable because he didn’t want Adam to get hurt*
Lucifer: DON’T TALK TO MY FIANCÉ THAT WAY!!!!!
*Lucifer went into his demon form which caused the studio to catch on fire, Lucifer then picked up Adam*
Lucifer: We need to find Charlie now.
*Adam nodded, he already cared a lot about Charlie and he hoped that Charlie would care about him too, Lucifer then held Adam as he flew off*
@things-arent-what-they-seem66
Stoliz Au
Adam sipped on his coffee out of his "Hell's Greatest Boss" mug as he overlooked Pentagram City. His workers, Lute and Emily were at the conference table trying to figure out ways they could get to the human world.
Adams oldest son Cain sat there on his phone looking very interested in anything that had to do with work.
Here at Adams Angelic Assassination, they started out by protecting sinners. Either from other demons or from angels on extermination day.
Turns out people would pay a pretty penny to have someone on earth killed.
It has been a few years since Adam was cast out of heaven for questioning things. They took his halo and his powers before casting him down.
Lute and Emily didn't want him to be alone in Hell so they willingly fell. Adam reconnected with his son who was homeless at the time.
They all needed money so that's when Adam came up with the idea for his business.
Lute sighed: It's impossible! There is no way to the human releam without our angelic powers.
Emily: It's okay Lute, we'll figure something out.
Adam turned: She's right Lute! And I actually have a plan.
Lute: You do?
Adam: I do. I know of a book and where I can get it. It's our ticket up top.
Yes Adam knew where to get this book, but could he sneak in and out without being noticed.
Emily: How will you get it?
Adam smirked: Leave it to me and my stealth skills.
*Adam scouted out the royal palace, he knew the largest collection of demonic grimoires were housed in the Morningstar palace including one that could take him to Earth, thankfully Adam still had his angel wings so he fly over the gates surrounding the palace, there was a party going on, his eyes went to Lucifer who was off in a corner drinking while Lilith was talking with her friends, Adam’s heart filled with longing over seeing his first love, but Adam was here for a reason and it was to get a spell book, he hid his wings thankful for the all black outfit he took to wearing now that he could use to hide in the shadows, but before he could open the door to Lucifer’s room, he was tackled by a pair of hellhounds who dragged him to Lucifer*
Adam: Shit.
*Lucifer was chugging down a bottle of absinthe when he saw a pair of hellhound guards drag Adam in front of him, Adam had a sheepish smile on his face and he couldn’t help but realize how handsome Adam was, in fact he had a strong desire to pin Adam to the bed and have his way with him since he hadn’t shared a bed with Lilith since Charlie was born*
Hellhound 1: We saw this man trying to sneak into your room.
Hellhound 2: What should we do with him?
Lucifer: I will deal with him myself, don’t tell anyone what you saw.
*the hellhounds handed Adam over to Lucifer and the former angel reluctantly followed Lucifer up to his room, once they were alone Adam became nervous*
Adam: Look, I can explain-
*Adam’s words were cut off when Lucifer kissed him on the lips, Adam found himself returning the kiss enjoying the feeling*
Lucifer: I missed you so much Adam, in more ways than one.
*Adam felt himself getting wet with desire, one of the punishments was they took away Adam’s favorite thing, his dick, before throwing him out of Heaven and now he had a pussy instead much to his annoyance, but now he saw a way to use it to his advantage and it would give him something he had always wanted*
Adam: You realized what you missed out on and now you can have it.
Lucifer: Yes.
*they ended up on the bed, they kissed as they frantically pulled off their clothes down to their underwear, Lucifer rubbed the underwear covered erection against the wet area of Adam’s panties, they pulled off their underwear and Lucifer slid into Adam, Adam had to hold back a moan of pleasure by biting into Lucifer’s shoulder which made Lucifer even more turned on, Adam moved his hips along with Lucifer’s thrusts, after a long and passionate dance on the bed, Adam climaxed and Lucifer cum inside of Adam*
Lucifer: That was amazing, is there a way I could convince you to come around more often.
Adam: Maybe if you let me borrow a grimoire to help me with my new job.
Lucifer: Done, but you must come back to me at least once a month. How about full moon night?
*Lucifer had the grimoire appear in Adam’s hands*
Adam: Sounds perfect to me.
*they both fell asleep, Lucifer holding Adam and Adam holding the grimoire, in the morning Adam had to get dressed and sneak out, but before he could sprout his wings, he fell off the balcony and onto the table which had Lilith having breakfast with her friends.
Adam: Sorry, I fucked your husband….. actually I’m not sorry.
*Adam sprouted his wings and flew off*
@things-arent-what-they-seem66
#hazbin hotel#adam#hazbin hotel adam#lucifer#lucifer morningstar#hazbin hotel lucifer#adamsapple#adam/lucifer#guitarduck#minors dni#stolitz au
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continuation to this post:
Meg who unintentionally and absolutely illogically gets worried when Lester gets sick after the ghoul incident and he doesn't really understand why would she do that
until he does
#meg will fidget with literally anything and stare at him non stop#and ask him so much questions which is strange (why would she ask so much questions; why she asks him to make a stop; why she stares at hi#as if he will disappear; why she frowns so much at him? he is fine?)#so she asks him questions OR doesn't ask them at all just looking at him because he is tired and sick and how for the fuck he i—#—what if he will die? she can't lose him not again he almost died je was so pale she can't lose him again its going to he her fault—#and lester doesn't really understand why she seems so unnerved but tries so hard not to show it until he stops to yk stretch or smthng and#and practically blanks out and all he can hear is his little sister's voice why it is so small why it sounds so scared is she crying why—#why would she cry he is fine why is his cheeks wet ow that hurts and then he gets conscious and realises after a pause what had happened an#and sees meg that is so so scared and oh gods im sorry i didn't mean to scare you whats wrong why are you crying—#oh#and lester will get it after some time and try to make sure that she is okay that my dear meg is not your fault i am fine just a#a little tired and its okay shhhh#i am a sucker for when lester is sick af#the author is also sick with harsh flu is had fever (39°C) for 2 days straight but now is getting better#toa#lester papadopoulos#meg mccaffrey#sunflower siblings#love them#and they love each other#platonically
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"Ah man, my dad's dead" me, just now remembering that my father is in fact, actually dead and has been for almost 3 years
#i was thinking about his family and talking to them about him and it just hit me that hes gone#that i don't get to talk to him ever again#that he won't get to watch my little brother get married next year. or even meet his fiancée#he won't meet my children that i want to have#he missed his first great nephew being born#he missed meeting my first boyfriend. and my first heartbreak when i found out he was married and lied to me the whole time#he's the reason i had a mental breakdown and can no longer leave my house without having a panic attack#his genetics are why i have such deep depressions and go days at a time without sleeping because I'm manic#from my height to my gray hair to the shape of my face are all his#the autism and the bipolar disorder and even the pcos and insulin resistance. all from him#that my siblings and i are closer than anyone else and would do anything for each other is because he taught us to be#that i never got my college degree and now live in abject poverty are also partially his fault#since he died I've been angry and bitter about him. but also full of grief and i want nothing more than to see him again#i still don't know how to live with him gone. my world shattered and fell apart the day he died. what am i supposed to do?#how to i go on without him? how do i deal with his sisters without him. how do i deal with my mother without him? how?#this got a lot sadder than i anticipated it was supposed to be a funny post and the grief overtook me#i started crying and im laying down so now there are tears in my ears and i can't hear#fuck#dead dad club
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[ 𝚙𝚛𝚎-𝚝𝟸 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚊 #𝟶𝟸 ] 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚊𝚕
IT'S OFFICIAL THE SECOND TRIAL IS HERE BABYYYYY oh god now they're going to suffer even more
(Warnings: mentions of attempted suicide, physical violence (prisoners get injured and beaten up and also Eiji and Kei's relationship gets mentioned), toxic relationship dynamics and heavy implications of self-harm)
Miki: Eiji-san?..
Miki: Eiji-san, can you hear me?
Eiji: .. Ah, sorry.
Eiji: I just.. I was too deep in thought, I guess.
Miki: I-it's okay! I just didn't expect you to be the one getting distracted this time, haha..
Eiji: What was that?
Miki: N-nothing!
Miki: B-but seriously, a-are you okay? You've been acting a bit weird lately..
Miki: Did something happen? Y-you can tell me!
Eiji: I'm fine. Don't worry about me.
Miki: .. If you say so.
Miki: So.. You know why we're here, right?
Eiji: .. Yeah. Because of the second trial.
Miki: *nods* I.. I thought it would be a good idea to talk about everything that happened after the first trial.
Miki: Would you be okay with that? I-if you're too tired, I completely understand-
Eiji: No, you're right. We do have to talk about it.
Eiji: There's.. a lot of things we have to discuss.
Miki: Ah, do you want me to do most of the talking? I can do that-
Eiji: NO!
Miki: *screams*
Eiji: .. Sorry.
Eiji: I will do it. You can just sit here.
Miki: U-um..
Miki: O-okay then..
*sounds of Eiji getting up*
*sounds of Eiji's footsteps*
Eiji: So.. Many of the prisoners feel like completely different people now.
Eiji: Some of them are acting like the complete opposite of their past selves and some of them are acting like.. if you took their personality traits, even the good ones, and made them much worse.
Eiji: It doesn't even matter if they were voted guilty or innocent. All of them are equally bad.
Miki: Eiji-san..
Miki: Are you saying our judgement was incorrect?
Eiji: .. I don't know.
Eiji: Maybe.
Eiji: No, it would definitely be better if we just voted all of them guilty-
Miki: So that they could suffer even more?
Miki: Eiji-san, I respect you a lot..
Miki: But I think a lot of prisoners finally got the confidence they needed this way. They feel so much safer now too!
Miki: Who knows what they would do if all of them were voted guilty..
Eiji: I'm not just talking about their personalities, but their relationships too.
Eiji: Those who were friends are basically enemies now or their relationships are just much more toxic now.
Eiji: You know who I'm talking about, don't you?
Eiji: I mean, our relationships with the prisoners are different too now.
Eiji: .. Let's begin.
Eiji: Prisoner 001, Miyagawa Akio.
Eiji: He got the well-deserved guilty verdict last time and his ideas and thoughts were rejected. Serves him right, honestly..
Eiji: I wish I could say that without feeling worried, but.. I can't do that because of what happened.
Miki: .. So you are worried about him.
Eiji: Because he was voted guilty, I knew that I will have to punish him for his sins. At first I just wanted to beat him up, but..
Eiji: I-I guess I underestimated how passionate I am about that kind of stuff.
Miki: He got a head injury because of you, Eiji-san.
Miki: A really.. bad one.
Eiji: Guard 002, with all respect I have for you, you think it was bad just because there was a lot of blood-
Miki: ISN'T THAT ENOUGH FOR ME TO SAY HE WAS SERIOUSLY INJURED?
Miki: Miyagawa-san.. He got traumatized both physically and mentally after that.
Miki: If it wasn't for me.. If I didn't manage to stop you before it was too late..
Miki: I think you would have ended up killing him, Eiji-san.
Eiji: ...
Eiji: S-so what? He deserves to die anyway.
Miki: He's only 16 years old-
Eiji: Anyway, about his personality. Akio definitely feels like a different person now, but he still has many personality traits he had before all of this.
Eiji: As I said, his ideas were rejected. Which means we have basically told him..
Eiji:"You're not a king nor a god that you think you are".
Eiji: And considering that because of his head injury, it's much more difficult for him to do most things, now he feels like he actually isn't as smart and talented as he thought.
Eiji: It's hard for him to walk without feeling dizzy and feeling like his head is spinning, so he often needs help when he has to go somewhere.
Eiji: He's also a bit more quiet now, though he's still very loud whenever we try to talk to him.
Miki: And for a good reason. You're the reason why he's like this now.
Eiji: Stop blaming me. I wasn't the only person who decided to vote him guilty.
Eiji: If it really was the wrong decision, then it's our fault, not just mine.
Eiji: He's more quiet now mostly because it's harder for him to talk now. I also almost never see him reading or studying anymore.
Eiji: .. I-I guess it really was a fitting punishment for a "genius" like him-
Miki: How can you say that?!
Miki: What if that injury really is serious? You know I can't take proper care of him, right?
Miki: What if his life will get worse because of it? What if..
Miki: .. What if he will die if he doesn't get any help?
Eiji: All of them are going to be executed by me anyway, so-
Miki: HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT AFTER WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM??
Eiji: ...
Miki: .. You wanted to talk about everyone's relationships too, right?
Miki: Do it. Tell me more about them.
Eiji: .. Well, Akio never really had any friends in this place, though he could often be seen with Aimi and Riku. I assume it's because of them being high school students, so they got along well, since they all are almost the same age.
Eiji: But if Akio's verdict was "Guilty", Aimi and Riku, on the other hand, were forgiven.
Eiji: And that has changed their relationship dynamic a lot.
Eiji: You see, after being voted guilty, Akio started becoming more and more.. unstable. He claims that he hears someone's voice sometimes and he can even see that person. There was a time when Naomi told me that Akio couldn't sleep because he felt like he was being choked by that person.
Eiji: Some prisoners also say that they can often hear Akio mumbling to himself and Aimi thinks that he's actually saying someone's name repeatedly.
Miki: .. I-I think I know what's going on here.
Miki: I'm not sure about that voice he hears and that person who has tried to choke him, but.. What if he's actually saying the name of his accomplice?
Miki: That would also explain.. well, that incident.
Eiji: .. I'll ask Aimi to pay more attention to what he says. That information could be useful for us.
Eiji: Anyway, because Akio's hallucinations have started getting worse and worse, he couldn't take it anymore and ended up having a breakdown in front of all the other prisoners.
Eiji: And he tried to ask Riku for help and grabbed his hand and I don't know what exactly he said, since we arrived when it was too late, but Riku did not like it.
Eiji: I'll talk more about it later, but.. After that, Akio slowly walked back to his cell, even though it was still hard because of his condition and..
Eiji: *sighs*
Eiji: I'm assuming he tried to make his injury even worse by beating his head against the wall.
Miki: .. You know that he had a reason to do that. And it wasn't just about "trying to make it worse".
Eiji: Fine, what else do you want me to say? This guy is not doing well. That's it.
Eiji: Now, let's talk about the person who stopped him from doing that to himself when we weren't there. And also, the only person he can trust right now.
Eiji: Prisoner 002, Hanasaki Aimi.
Eiji: Ah, the poor girl who was bullied by her entire class.
Eiji: She was voted innocent and her ideas and thoughts were affirmed.
Eiji: .. I still don't trust her.
Eiji: As I said, her ideas were affirmed, so I assumed that she will try even harder to make friends after this and she won't be so shy anymore..
Eiji: .. But she is actually much more quiet now.
Eiji: She still acts nice and she's still very polite, but now she doesn't really try to become friends with anyone in this prison.. except one person.
Eiji: And that person is Akio.
Eiji: She was the one who stopped him from basically killing himself and she's also the one who takes care of him, holds his hand when he's having trouble walking and I think I also heard her read a book out loud for him once.
Miki: Isn't she so nice? I still don't understand how such a kind person like her can be a murderer-
Eiji: I wouldn't trust her so easily if I were you. Sure, she's nice to Akio now, but she stopped talking to Riku after she found out what he said to Akio.
Eiji: Just so you understand, she completely ignores Riku now. She doesn't even look at him.
Eiji: She's acting like this with some other prisoners too now: she tries to avoid Yurika and she has also called Asahi out once for his behavior.
Miki: But I think that's understandable?..
Eiji: What I'm trying to say is.. It's kind of interesting, don't you think? Aimi already knew that all prisoners are murderers and she already knew that they are not good people and they obviously have flaws, but when it was the first trial, she still insisted that she likes them all and wants to be friends with them.
Eiji: But now, she doesn't try to become friends with any of them except Akio, who also can't really do anything without her help anymore.
Eiji: .. I feel like I'm starting to see a connection here.
Eiji: Anyway.
Eiji: Prisoner 003, Ishizu Shun.
Eiji: Sadly, he was voted innocent, so his ideas and thoughts were affirmed.
Eiji: Come on, I know you regret voting him innocent.
Miki: .. W-what else was I supposed to do?..
Miki: If we voted him guilty, who knows what he would do and how he would act!
Eiji: So you admit it? You admit that this guy is unpredictable?
Eiji: So you admit that this guy is dangerous?
Miki: .. Ishizu-san is just..
Miki: .. He's just very hard to understand..
Eiji: He sure is more confident now thanks to his thoughts being affirmed. It's not a good kind of confidence, it's a very annoying kind.
Eiji: Also, is it just me or he doesn't care about his ex anymore?
Eiji: I mean, he openly flirts with both Kei and Eiko now, even though when Eiko herself said that she's interested in him, he rejected her since he's "taken".
Eiji: He also rarely mentions being in love with his ex and now he doesn't even say stuff like "I did this for her! I just wanted her back! I just loved her so much I had to kill her new boyfriend for her sake!"
Miki: Maybe he just.. forgot about it?
Eiji: I doubt it. Though I can't say that him being in love with her was an act, this guy's video showed that he really did care about her in his own twisted way.
Eiji: Although..
Eiji: We haven't actually seen her face. We've only seen her new boyfriend's face and that's it.
Eiji: Maybe we should make him talk more about that guy this time.
Eiji: And also.. now that he's more confident, he refuses to take no for an answer.
Eiji: .. Especially when it comes to Kei.
Miki: ...
Miki: Eiji-san..
Miki: Are you worried about-
Eiji: I'm not.
Eiji: I just find it disgusting how he started to take more and more advantage of Kei now that the guy can barely move. I don't remember him being so "dominant" before Kei got punished.
Miki: .. So you are worried-
Eiji: I'M NOT!
Eiji: A-anyway, Shun and Eiko are much closer now since both of them were forgiven unlike Kei.
Eiji: .. And they sure like to remind Kei about them being "superior" to him all the time.
Eiji: .. I don't want to talk about him anymore.
Eiji: Prisoner 004, Chiba Naomi.
Eiji: She was forgiven and her ideas and thoughts were affirmed.
Eiji: I guess she's mostly fine, but still.. I feel like something is wrong here.
Miki: Why? Chiba-san is so nice and understanding and she always helps me out when I need advice..
Eiji: Just like Shun, she's much more confident now. And why would she start acting like that if she's truly sorry for her sins?
Eiji: She wanted us to vote her guilty, remember? I thought that she would ask us to rethink our decision, but no, she just accepted it and moved on.
Miki: W-well, maybe she just.. you know, started to see her crime differently? Like, maybe she doesn't think it was that bad anymore?
Eiji: If she's not lying, her victim really was a child. Do you think it's okay to just go "Oh, maybe me killing that kid actually wasn't a big deal"?
Miki: But what if she had her reasons-
Eiji: I don't care about her reasons. She's a child murderer and her victim most likely was one of her students. And now she thinks that her crime wasn't even that bad and doesn't try to make us change our mind.
Eiji: She says that she simply doesn't try to do it because "we're the guards, so we know what we're doing", but I know she's secretly happy that she got voted innocent.
Miki: .. Again, you're saying my decision was wrong?
Eiji: .. Um-
Eiji: I'm just saying that now we can see that Prisoner 004 actually wouldn't try to become a better person and she actually doesn't think that her crime was that serious. Voting her innocent helped us realize it, so..
Eiji: Maybe you were right in some way.
Eiji: Ah, and even though she's still acting like everyone's.. uh, mom, basically, her ideas were affirmed, so now she's more strict with the younger prisoners.
Eiji: If she sees someone misbehaving, she will tell them to stop it and if they don't, she might actually get angry at them.
Eiji: Though she's mostly nice to all prisoners who are still kids.. except one of them.
Miki: ...
Eiji: .. Yeah, I'm talking about Asahi.
Eiji: And even though I would gladly vote Naomi guilty this time, I support the way she treats Asahi.
Eiji: Yes, I know that he's most likely your brother, but you have to admit-
Miki: I-I will talk to him about it, okay? I will.
Miki: I'll prove his innocence to you, Eiji-san. I'll prove that he really deserves to be forgiven.
Eiji: The next prisoner is-
Eiji: .. Prisoner 005, Sanada Kei.
Eiji: He was voted guilty and his ideas and thoughts were rejected.
Miki: .. I still have no idea how you just.. can be so cruel to him without feeling anything.
Miki: He's your brother! If I had to vote Yano-san guilty-
Eiji: Are you telling me someone like him deserves forgiveness?..
Eiji: Guard 002, he's the one who turned my life into a living hell.
Eiji: He.. He always was weird. And I had to protect him from other kids and people in general because of that.
Eiji: .. I remember him thanking me for that once.
Eiji: But then something happened and.. He started beating me for no reason every single day after that.
Eiji: He actually almost killed me once, no, twice! Maybe even more times!
Eiji: He's literally the reason why my whole body hurts all the time, why don't you get it, Miki?! Who cares about him when my body will never truly heal and it's all his fault!
Miki: .. *sobs*
Miki: I'm sorry.. I really.. I didn't mean to..
Miki: It's just.. I'm used to trying to see the good in all people and..
Miki: I thought that maybe Kei-san still deserves forgiveness..
Eiji: *sighs* Listen, I can't deny that I kind of admire that trait of yours.
Eiji: But Kei doesn't deserve any of your forgiveness and kindness. Trust me.
Eiji: .. He refused to believe that all of this was real and that he really is going to be punished until I actually came and.. well, gave him what he deserves.
Miki: I still remember his cries and how loud he screamed from all that pain.
Miki: But that's.. weird. I thought Kei-san was a much more..
Eiji: Same. Remember him saying that he's not afraid of pain and that he can handle it all or something like that?
Eiji: .. It turned out to be another lie of his.
Eiji: He's so used to being the one who hurts people that he has no idea what to do when someone hurts him.
Eiji: "More pain means more love"? Sure, whatever you say, Kei. You agree with what our mother used to say only when you're the one who's inflicting all that pain.
Eiji: .. Something is bothering- um, I just find something very confusing though.
Miki: Really? What?
Eiji: For some reason, I noticed that Kei already had a lot of scars on his body even before his punishment.
Miki: Wait, what?? W-were they bad? Why didn't you tell me?
Eiji: If I did, you would never let me punish him.
Eiji: Even I got scared, but only a little bit.
Miki: .. Don't you feel at least a little worried for your brother?
Eiji: W-why should I care? Maybe someone just got "a bit too rough" with him or something, I don't want to think about it. It's none of my business.
Eiji: Anyway, Kei still hangs out with Shun and Eiko very often, but now it's not because he wants to. He can't even leave his cell without anyone's help because of how much pain he's in, haha..
Eiji: Ahem, so Shun and Eiko are the ones who drag him out of it and they just make him follow them around. Actually, I feel like now they spend even more time together compared to the first trial.
Eiji: But don't you even think that this guy is just a poor victim and we absolutely have to forgive him this time-
Miki: Should I remind you that he almost got beaten up because of Maruyama-san?
Eiji: I have no idea who I should believe, but she told us that he was acting creepy again and she wanted to defend herself.
Eiji: I don't trust her most of the time, but since it's Kei.. I can see him saying something and Yurika getting mad at him for that.
Eiji: If that was the case, I can't blame her.
Eiji: .. I still can't believe that he actually got saved by someone though.
Eiji: Prisoner 006, Yoshioka Eiko.
Eiji: She was voted innocent and her ideas and thoughts were affirmed.
Eiji: Well, she did thank us for forgiving her, but I'm sure she didn't actually care about her verdict. She's just not that kind of person.
Miki: She is.. very affectionate with you now because of you agreeing to vote her innocent.
Eiji: Yes, and I hate it.
Miki: "Do you though?.."
Eiji: However, I feel like she actually did change as a person.
Eiji: She openly admits that she likes Kei and Shun only because of their appearance, but still keeps them close because she likes the attention she gets from them.
Eiji: So it's like.. She said that she knows Kei will never "truly" love her and she also said that it would be easy to forgive her because of her looks, but now she agrees that she and Kei aren't actually that different.
Eiji: Also, even though she was one of those prisoners who refused to accept that all of this is a real thing, she has recently started asking me more questions about Milgram.
Eiji: Like, how it works, who created this place, why we were chosen as the guards, all of that..
Eiji: I have no idea why she's so curious about it now.
Miki: Maybe after the first trial was over, she started to realize that this isn't just a game and our verdicts really do have consequences?..
Eiji: Or maybe she just wants to spend more time with me.
Eiji: I don't get it though. I'm not that, uh.. "attractive" and I never give her any attention, so.. why me? Is it just her trying to make me forgive her again?
Eiji: .. No, she's not like most prisoners here.
Miki: But I think you're very pretty, Eiji-san!
Eiji: Um, thank you?..
Miki: Still not my type though.
Eiji: I wasn't even trying to.. never mind.
Eiji: Prisoner 007, Yano Asahi.
Eiji: He was voted innocent and his ideas and thoughts were affirmed.
Eiji: And, well, he reacted to it just like a spoiled kid his age would.
Eiji: He thought that it was going to happen anyway and now he's sure that no matter what he does, he will still be forgiven, because.. you know, he's a child.
Miki: But isn't he right-
Eiji: Well, that's not gonna happen.
Eiji: I never judge anyone only based on their age. No matter how young or how old they are, I will make sure they will get the verdict that they deserve.
Eiji: And because all of them are murderers, all of them deserve to be-
Miki: I know, you don't have to say that again.
Eiji: .. Huh?
Eiji: U-um, okay, let's talk about how he acts now.
Eiji: Prisoner 007 is much more confident now and I rarely see him cry or throw a tantrum, though he still likes to use his.. uh, "cuteness" to get what he wants.
Eiji: However, he's now surprisingly good at controlling his emotions. I have no idea what happened to him, but he's much more polite now and I almost never hear him swear anymore.
Eiji: Eh, he's probably just trying to manipulate us into voting him innocent again.
Miki: But what if he actually did change? What if he's trying to become a better person?
Eiji: I doubt it. He always has this.. weird smile on his face. Like I want to punch him whenever I see him smile like that.
Eiji: He keeps ordering other prisoners around too, again, he's just more polite about it now and it's harder to tell that he really is just using them.
Eiji: I should mention something about his personality and his relationship with other prisoners. Now that Akio is no longer as narcissistic as he used to be, Kei can't even leave his cell without anyone's help and.. we'll talk about Riku later, Asahi and Shun are basically the most "powerful" male prisoners now.
Eiji: However, Shun is still disliked by mostly everyone and they don't really like Asahi either, but it's hard to deny that this kid is much better at making everyone believe that he has "changed" and that he really is more nice now.
Eiji: It's like.. this kid has all the power now.
Eiji: "Andou siblings really rule this prison now, don't they?.."
Miki: W-well, I wouldn't say that.
Miki: True, he is much.. uh, "nicer" now and people are starting to like him a bit more, but he's still just as vulnerable.
Miki: Like.. For some reason I'm starting to feel like he wants more attention from me now? Like now he requests even more things, but he always asks me to get him something and not you.
Eiji: "I think it's because the prisoners don't like me that much in general."
Miki: But when you don't count all the food, toys, clothes and other things, he just.. wants to spend time with me. Like he actually wants to know more about me and he keeps asking me so many questions..
Miki: .. It's still hard for me to get used to him calling me "Miki-nee" though.
Miki: He doesn't even know that we're most likely related..
Miki: And speaking of him still being one of the most vulnerable prisoners, Kei-san wasn't the only prisoner Maruyama-san has attacked.
Miki: Yano-san was her victim as well.
Eiji: Again, it's kind of justified. Naomi said that she saw everything with her own eyes and I usually don't trust her, but I will do so this time.
Eiji: Basically, Asahi's been taking full advantage of Yurika's status as a guilty prisoner and her punishment and he eventually got tired of his "good boy" act and he spilled some really hot tea that she made for him on her. He claimed that it was an accident but both Naomi and Yurika could tell that it wasn't one.
Eiji: Yurika had enough and, well.. decided to take her anger out on him.
Eiji: I stopped her before she could actually injure him though. He only got a cut on his cheek from her nails and that's all.
Miki: Thank you, I appreciate it.
Eiji: .. I-It's not because he's your brother. I would do the same thing even if it wasn't Asahi. I can't let those prisoners fight each other like that.
Eiji: *laughs* Though of course they would try to do that. They are murderers after all.
Eiji: Speaking of Yurika..
Eiji: Prisoner 008, Maruyama Yurika.
Eiji: She was voted guilty and her ideas and thoughts were rejected.
Miki: I'm still finding it so hard to believe.. I mean, I thought she seemed like a nice person when I first met her..
Eiji: Is it just me or you voted her guilty only because of what she said about you that time?
Miki: .. I really do want to save everyone here.
Miki: And I will do anything to achieve my goal.
Miki: *gets up* Who does she think she is to go and say that I'm just doing this to make everyone trust me?!
Eiji: Okay, okay, calm down.
Eiji: Fine, let's not talk about it. You have your reasons to vote her guilty and I have mine.
Miki: .. Y-you're right. Sorry.. *sits down*
Eiji: Her punishment was a bit different from Akio and Kei's punishments. It wasn't a physical one, it was more about.. mental pain, I guess?
Eiji: Since her thoughts were rejected, she lost all the potential freedom she could get and now she's back to doing what she hates the most.
Eiji: She has to act as everyone's maid now.
Eiji: We don't have to bring anything to prisoners personally, we can just ask her or, you know, make her do that. She can also serve them food now.
Eiji: I know, that was very smart of me. Less work for us~
Eiji: .. I wish I could say that, but her temper is.. something.
Eiji: When I first told her about her punishment, she cried. Loudly. She cried like a little baby.
Eiji: And when I tried to make her stop, she almost punched me, but oh well, she obviously wasn't able to do that.
Eiji: And now, whenever she refuses to listen to my orders, I just remind her that I can make her punishment even worse and she listens to me.
Eiji: But now her relationship with the prisoners is much worse. People either see her only as their maid, they think she's scary or they even find her annoying.
Eiji: She's used to be close with all the female prisoners, but now Aimi is one of the prisoners who thinks she's too dangerous, Eiko just makes her do everything for her and even though Naomi actually tried to be nice to her at first, Yurika wasn't as nice. Her relationship with Reina is.. complicated now.
Eiji: Prisoner 009, Kuroki Riku.
Eiji: He was voted innocent and his ideas and thoughts were affirmed.
Eiji: .. I still have no idea how you could have forgiven someone like him.
Eiji: He obviously just wanted to make us feel bad for him.
Miki: Even if he did, he still was in pain and he needed help. If we voted him guilty, I think he would start acting even worse.
Miki: Just imagine what he would do if he found out that he was going to be punished!..
Eiji: But guess what? Now that his thoughts were affirmed, Akio almost killed himself because of him, Aimi left him and pretty much all prisoners don't want to do anything with him anymore.
Eiji: Because I remind you, this guy actually wanted his childhood friend to die.
Eiji: Let's go back to his fight with Akio. Again, I still have no idea what Akio said to him, but I do know what Riku told him and what made Akio.. do what he did.
Eiji: After Akio said something that made Riku angry, Riku, just like a normal boy his age, said this:
Eiji: "Go and die then."
Miki: ...
Eiji: .. We shouldn't find Akio's suicide attempt surprising after this considering his mental state and how much he liked Riku.
Eiji: So? Are you going to defend him this time too?
Miki: .. I will talk to him about it. Of course, he can't just say things like that, but I want to understand why he did it.
Eiji: Well, I'm sure he will appreciate you still trying to defend his actions, because I remind you that this happened while all other prisoners were watching.
Eiji: And yeah, Aimi stopped seeing Riku as her friend after this.
Miki: "She's a victim of bullying, of course she would leave him.."
Eiji: And all other prisoners kinda stopped talking to him after that. Their conversations are just really awkward now, especially because Riku still refuses to apologize for what he said and claims that it's all Akio's fault.
Eiji: He has no one to talk to anymore. Akio and Aimi are doing great without him, Shun is having way too much fun with Kei and Eiko, Naomi and Reina have no idea how to help him, Kei simply can't do anything for him right now, Eiko and Yurika don't care about what happens to him and Asahi says that he's "bad" so he doesn't want to spend time with him, though I'm sure he's doing it just to make him suffer.
Eiji: .. It's kinda interesting, actually. They know that every single prisoner here is a murderer, but they were mostly fine with that fact until now, when one of them has almost killed the other prisoner with his words.
Eiji: And.. he went back to his unhealthy coping mechanisms because of all of this.
Eiji: He's okay with doing literally anything to make people look at him, including hurting himself in different ways.
Eiji: I literally can't even leave him alone with a fork and a knife anymore and I have to watch him while he eats.
Miki: .. Again, I will talk to him about it.
Miki: I want to save everyone in this prison. Especially Yan-
Miki: .. I mean, my brother and Riku.
Eiji: And finally, the last one.
Eiji: Prisoner 010, Himura Reina.
Eiji: She was voted innocent and her ideas and thoughts were affirmed.
Eiji: Honestly, I think she's one of those prisoners who have changed the most.
Eiji: She's like a completely different person now.
Eiji: She's no longer pretending to be someone she's not. She almost never mentions the whole "I'm actually the most dangerous murderer in this prison" thing anymore.
Eiji: She's also very.. calm now. To the point of showing almost no emotions.
Eiji: She doesn't make dumb jokes anymore, she doesn't say things like "Oh, I actually have more than 50 victims", she isn't that loud anymore.
Eiji: .. And she also was the one who protected Kei from being attacked by Yurika.
Eiji: If that doesn't prove that she has changed, I don't know what will.
Miki: .. What if she actually always was capable of that? What if she always could protect someone like that and we just didn't know?
Eiji: Well, I can't say anything about that.
Eiji: She and Kei are actually surprisingly close now. She's the only person here who isn't afraid of him and doesn't take advantage of his condition.
Eiji: I was shocked at first, but now that I think about it..
Eiji: It makes sense. Their personalities are actually very similar.
Miki: So that's why she's been asking me to take care of him so often lately..
Eiji: .. What surprises me the most is that Kei never flirts with her or tries to impress her. I guess it has an obvious explanation, but if we trust Yurika's words, he's still more than capable of being annoying in that way.
Miki: Well, maybe he just sees her as a friend? Isn't that nice?
Eiji: Don't say that. I can't imagine this guy having friends that actually like him.
Eiji: She isn't that close with Yurika anymore and when I asked her about it, she sounded like she was.. disappointed in her? I guess she wasn't prepared to see the real Yurika.
Eiji: .. That's all I have to say.
Eiji: *sighs*
Miki: So.. Do you still want to vote all of them guilty?
Eiji: Why are you even asking me that? Of course I do. Actually, I want to punish them even more now that I've seen what kind of people they become after being forgiven.
Miki: But isn't it natural to start acting more calm or confident after being forgiven?
Miki: Just like you said, their ideas and thoughts were affirmed. Of course, they think that they were the ones in the right now.
Eiji: .. I wanted to talk to you about something.
Eiji: You don't have to think too hard to notice that all, or at least, most prisoners like you much more than me.
Eiji: Most of those who were voted innocent are thankful to you for saving them and they're hoping to be forgiven this time again.
Eiji: And those who were voted guilty are this close to begging you to save them from me and forgive them.
Eiji: It's like..
Eiji: It's like you're a goddess of this place, haha..
Miki: .. Hehe, come on, I-I'm just doing my job..
Eiji: Don't try to forgive all of them this time though. Be more careful. They're obviously going to try and take advantage of your kindness.
Eiji: Now, let's go and interrogate-
Eiji: !
*sounds of Eiji falling on the floor*
Miki: Eiji-san!
Miki: A-are you okay?!
Miki: Are you hurt? What happened?
Eiji: .. W-why..
Eiji: Why is everything so.. blurry now?
Miki: Please, tell me if you're not feeling okay! We can just interrogate everyone tomorrow-
*sounds of Eiji trying to get up*
Eiji: I'm fine. I'm fine, I can do this.
Eiji: H-huh?..
Eiji: "Why am I feeling so weak?.."
Miki: Eiji-san, your body is shaking. A-are you feeling any pain? Maybe discomfort?..
Eiji: I told you I'm fine! Let's just go and begin the second trial already-
Eiji: Ah-
Eiji: .. T-thank you.
Miki: If it wasn't for me, you would fall again!
Miki:*sobs* Eiji-san.. Please, just tell me what's going on..
Miki: I just want to help you!
Eiji: Guard 002, let me go.
Miki: I can't do that when you look like you're about to-
Eiji: JUST LET ME DO MY JOB, MIKI!
Eiji: WHY CAN'T I HAVE AT LEAST ONE THING I ACTUALLY ENJOY DOING? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING?
Eiji: I'M BASICALLY NO ONE BECAUSE OF YOU NOW, WHY DON'T YOU GET IT?!
Eiji: ...
Miki: .. Eiji-san? Eiji-san, can you hear me?
Miki: "I should let him have some rest.."
Miki: "What did he mean by me ruining everything though? Was he talking about everyone's verdicts?"
Miki: "I doubt that he's jealous of me being more respected by the prisoners or something like that.."
Miki: ".. I'm a goddess of this place.. What did he mean by that?"
Miki: "It doesn't sound bad though, hehe.."
Miki: "Trust me, Eiji-san, I will save everyone in this prison. I will forgive them for all their sins and I will guide them."
Miki: "I will save everyone, Eiji-san.."
Miki: ".. Including you."
***
???: Hm?
???: What is going on with that screen?..
???: Ah, it's you!.. Sorry, I forgot your name again.
Jackalope: .. Maybe we should have chosen someone else.
???: *laughs* You're right, you're right.
???: No, seriously, I still don't understand why I was chosen. I mean..
???: Look at me. Why would you make someone like me the guard of this prison?
Jackalope: You're asking way too many questions for someone like you. By the way, I left your guard uniform at the door. You can go and get it, I'll open the door just this once.
???: Really? Okay..
*sounds of slow footsteps*
[ ??? opens the door ]
???: Wow!..
???: .. I-it doesn't look that comfortable.
[ ??? closes the door ]
???: And why would I even wear it? Didn't you say that I'm not allowed to leave this room?
Jackalope: True, but now you'll actually be able to participate in the trials.
Jackalope: As always, you'll be able to see everything from here. You don't even have to leave.
???: .. Does that mean I can participate in the voting process too now?
Jackalope: Absolutely! You can even say hi to the other guards if you want.
Jackalope: That girl is very cute, by the way, so I doubt that you'd want to lose your chance-
Jackalope: Wait, or are you-
???: Hmm, I think it will be too hard for them to accept the fact that there's a third guard hiding somewhere.
???: .. I think I have an idea. You already did that thing to the first guard, right?
???: I think I know how I can interrogate the prisoners without letting the other guards know anything.
Jackalope: You remember that you still have to vote though, right?
???: I do, I do. Don't worry, I won't disappoint you~
???: *yawns* Sorry, looks like I've spent all my energy for today.
???: Hehe, I wish I had a stuffed animal that looked like you-
Jackalope: Don't even think about it. Cuddling with a guy? No thank you.
???: Calm down.. You know I can't even be in the same room as you anyway.
???: But before I go to sleep, can you answer my question already?
???: Why was I chosen?
???: I mean, I can't even participate in this trial properly. I just spend all my time in this room.
???: I'm also not that interested in "saving" or "punishing" those prisoners..
Jackalope: .. Well, let's just say that all guards have their reasons to be here.
Jackalope: That guy wants to see his brother in pain and he wants to get his revenge on him. The girl is harder to figure out, but I'm sure she has her goal too.
Jackalope: You also have a reason to be here. Why don't you think about it yourself?
???: Hm...
???: Maybe you're right.
???: Either way, I don't think I'll lose much if I participate in this thing.
???: I have nothing to lose anyway.
#i can't wait to see the results of their t2 polls like it was so hard to figure out their canon verdicts too#you can tell me who you're planning to vote innocent/guilty rn if you want! :D#every day i remember that eiji is an obvious victim of abuse who still has so much anger inside and doesn't know what to do with it#so he just immediately jumps to violence and saying that it was everyone else's fault and not his. and then i cry#like at the same time yeah eiji MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT AKIO DESERVED HIS PUNISHMENT but also. idk it just feels realistic#also something about yurika attacking some of the weakest prisoners here just.. says so much about her#like sure she's unhinged! she's a little insane! but she's also too scared to attack people who can actually fight back#so yeah she'll just go for the guy who can barely walk and a child. akio really got lucky this time#and remember when i said that riku's t2 version probably won't be that bad. i-i was wrong#also say hi to the third guard :) actually you can send asks to him/interact with him if you want!#he can't leave his room but he can still talk to others just not in person#(also i am not tagging all of them.)#🎤 voice dramas! 🎤#milgram#milgram oc#milgram project#ocgram
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about to finish Spider Man 2 (the game) and i love this univerce. they understand the need for a comunity so deeply, and it does not feel like an empty promise, because their treatment of Miles's comunity puts Pete's lack of it, and his almost unsucsessful attempt at it with puting Harry into the mix, into the full focus
Miles actually manages to 'redeam' his enemy!! like Pete never did!! i have been begging for this since the uneccesery death of Phin!!
like, Pete's point of view is: if i secrefice enough of myself i'll manage to save the world, and Miles's attitude is: if i relay and gain strengh from the support of my comunity ill manage to save the world. and it shows!!! Miles is there to represent what Peter isn't!!
Peter was there to make sure Miles do the same mistakes as him, and now that he sees that Miles did learn, from Pete, from his mom and eveyone else, he feels inaducite, to the point where he agreed that he just needs to become better and to secrefice even more of himself to keep up.
but Peter, you are not less because someone else is there for you, you are MORE because of it. and im obsessed they actually deliverd to us on this, to the point where i am not even done with the game but i m incredibly happy with it
#spider man ps5 spoilers#spider man#spider man 2 ps5#insomniac spider man#god im obsessed with this univerce#my favoritve peter parker hands down#and he is doing all that#even before the symbiote#while still being nice#sweet#a jokey cheesy joked sweetheart#he is such a sweetheart#HIS CRYING ON THE TOWER WHILE MILES TOLD HIM ITS NOT HIS FAULT???#IM GOING INSANE#I already thought we hit gold with the peter and miles fight i always wanted#with the “i am here to save my family. to save YOU Pete!!!”#i was dead#but them entering Pete's head and seeing him crying over may???#and miles helping him through that???? GOD#ITS EVEYTHING
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imsoo normal about guys byw
#sprry this is the start of my downfall im actually going to theow up and vomit and die#fronting daily actually sucks!and i have no restraint on my curiiusity and i have to figure shit out and i literally want to die#cause like i found out shit i didnt want to and its entirely my fault too bro i cant even be upset cause i went looking for it ughhh#i should be allowed to die afterschool so i dont have to feel anything else tbh thatd be a pleasure great thing whwatever#this is genuinelky the repeat of my downfall again literally september all over again and its just march jesus fucking fhrist bro need todi#the nervous system is so dumb what is ooottfvgvsh or whagevr i hate that dumbass acronym i hate healrhcare#serenity save me 🙏 save me serenity 🙏 come home#everyone keeps sayng that but qith donald trump#anyway back to me i need to scream and not just to serenity cause i feel bad🤭 no emojis are tood enougu anymore bro im going to kms#killing myself so fucking hard like a vampire driving a stake through his heart sort of shit ykwim like a siren drowning ro sokething poeti#save me sid 🙏 sid save me actually hed laugh at me for hthis lowkey which is soo deserved cause real bro why am i breaking down at midnight#on a dchool day too bro again and again i dont want to go to mf schooll and be obsessed w k. hes fine but i genuinely cant do my work#lowkey would iet be weird to talk to my ex ab my relationship with him cause like yea i miss him ykwim and i need closure but i got a crush#cause like on one hand its like i was the one who brokenup ykwim like even if the circumstances werewei4d whatever its like why would i hav#the right to even bring it up and i alr crushed on a new guy and like ignoring the uguult i do like him ughh broni want to kms#i love love i just dont love lvoe for myself cause ugh bro i hare one guy idc ab his crushes but he made me hear ab them lke idc idek him#sorry u had a bad experience w bi girls like idk what u want me to say ??? surprise me too ??? tff ugh i hate love girls#i need a gf but the thoigjt of liking a girl genuinely deeply scares me to my core cause i like girls but ppl dont like that i do ykwim#all mu friends are fucking gay bro idek why im so worried ab liking girls like who is there to disappoint but myself and my entire family#noo pressure qt all being oldest and queerest like ok yeah its midnight happy new years. i need this blanket tobsuffocste me#sleep wrappedup alr like a borito burito i dek and its not enoughh i need a soul crushing embrafe to sleep#ok im done i got post vent clarity i need to sleep#post#erics tag#delete later#serenity needs this as a ref in the morning#i beed my mom to cry to but j cant tell her any of this id rather be eaten alive by bugsbro and if i just cry to her without a reason#shell fs go througj my phone and fimd out why anyway so wjats the pointtt my god i tqlk too much and vent too much#gota flair forbthe dramatics ivguess mb
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hey. hey universe. hey fucker universe.
no one said you could bring back the Wednesday Curse, bitch. fuck off with this shit i didn't need any of this first thing today.
#the Wednesday Curse is related to a span of about... almost 10 years of every single wednesday having something major go wrong#''major'' is a strong word but it would always feel big and afterwards would be when i would notice it was wednesday#it was a lot and i got very tired of it very quickly but it eventually stopped and i stopped noticing wednesdays#because they stopped being bad every single week#i would wake up on a wednesday bracing for whatever terrible news i would learn or whatever horrible thing would happen inevitably#and i stopped having to do that#my dreams lately have been absolutely horrific and last nights/this mornings was.... worse than usual in a way i wasn't anticipating that's#made me very very worried about a dear friend i can't easily reach out to and i'm doing my best at waiting patiently for a response#but it's hard and then the tire on the car exploded *again* so we're scrambling to figure out how to fix that and we've got a plan#and at least 3 butches on the job and it's going to be okay in the end but i have extreme car anxiety and tires going out is one of the mai#triggers for that and i'm just#i'm also still dealing with the tail end (hopefully) of an upper respiratory infection which makes all the crying i keep doing difficult#because i keep needing to hack my lungs out because breathing sucks rn even though i've had all my meds for it#and i'm just... it's just... anyway#i'm having a rough morning#but i am surrounded by people who are very lovely and care a lot and are willing and able to help with whatever they can#and that's helped a lot and it's just... i know i gotta wait patiently for resolution on things and i'm gonna do my best#to calm myself down and try to be less anxious but i'm only able to do that because of the love that surrounds me and it's a lot#it's all a lot and idk man#the spectre of my dad is doing his best to ruin it but he doesn't exist here in this space it's just a bad memory and no one is at fault
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.
#so i just finished s1ep2 of the bear (i don't really get it so far but ok)#and there's this scene where the main character calls up his sister and tells her about the mental shit that has been happening with him uk#and like even though this feeling is always there but lile i can't help but feel like my life would have been so much better with a sibling?#like one id have good relationships with uk???#and ik ik found family and forming meaningful relationships outside is an option but like in this capitalistic individualist society? is it?#anyways that's not the point it's that there's always stuff no body in the world would get except people who grow up with you innit?#be it school or hometowns or families and it would have been nice to have someone help me not feel this complete overwhelmness all the time#and without me feeling like im exaggerating or thinking that the person would judge me or having to keep telling everything repeatedly#but then i think would that even matter when I am the one who's the problem and like can't work to form that connection with anyone?????#like i for the life of me cannot share anything beyond the surface level or without making a joke out of it#and it seems funny but i trivialise so much of the fucking shit that happens so obviously no one takes it seriously not their fault right?#and like how fair to my friends that i literally almost always been superficial and lowkey untrue with them in exchange for their honesty???#at this point i feel like i don't even know what i truly feel or truly am because whenever i look back at my past self im like wtf#idk most of the times it just feels like being 'stuck' in a glass container and me not 'letting' anyone in if that makes sense?#ik im being very annoying about it but im just so tierd of feeling like this its been a decade & its way too long to constantly feeling dead#and im so fucking stubborn in my sadness that i won't even go get help after years of crying about wanting it & now finally having resources#it's like this mental block which i can't seem to remove and i feel like even if i do get help ill still be untrue so what's the point!???#yeahhhhh anyways i'll delete this later i don't journal so tumblr will have to make do#vi.txt
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Session 20/24 and I've finally felt brave enough to rant about my father. And my therapist was like, you're right! It's shit! Like yeah, fuck him for not trying to change anything, I am doing better and working on myself.
#I was ready to cry because everything about it is so frustrating to me#I was able to forgive my mother for a lot of things because she's really trying now#but my father? still that egocentric asshat that doesn't listen to me#and I should not feel bad about not wanting to do anything with him#because to an extent it's his own fault#ugh rant over that needed to get out today#already buying cake today instead of tomorrow because I am going through it#all the love to you guys I hope you have a good week🖤
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I don't know why the thought of people drinking and having fun triggers me so much. I think it's because of the family reunions I had to go with my mom when I was a kid and they had so much fun drinking and blasting music and I could not have that so I was just sit in a chair next to my mom or in her lap because I didn't have anything more to do other than watch them chat about everything. All I ever had to do was watch them laugh loudly while I was filled with that all boredom inside of me and I couldn't do anything to join them.
There were the adults, there were the kids, and there was me. A too mature child, the middle, the none. The "thing"
#The thought of people having fun makes me want to rip the skin of my face off#Because I never had that#I was in constant obedience mode ready to do whatever the people told me to#I hated other kids because they weren't like me. I was much superior to them.#I hated being perceived as a kid because I never was thanks to all this bullshit my parents put me through#It was half part of my nature half their fault. But never mine#It wasn't mine because I didn't force myself to be like this. I was raised to be like this#I have always been much more intelligent than the other kids mostly because of that. I was The Dream Child. The angel.#How can you as a parent fuck up your children's mind for your own satisfaction?#I have always been my dad's favorite out of his three children since I was born. Probably even before I was ever born.#He raised me with all this “You're the special one” thing and my mom did it crying to me about how awful my dad was#Obviously the other kids didn't have to go through this. They had friends. They had each other. They had loving parents#I only had this fucked up family and the dream of having fun#Being mature. Being an adult#My dad always told me I was going to be different from the others. And I am. In the worst way possible. Thanks dad.#Vent#tw vent#venting
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☕️
#i feel crazy#i think about him every single fucking day#for over a year#idk if this is what love is#or if im just like mentally ill#i try to look into my heart and mind and try to understand but i dont know#all i know is that EVERY SINGLE DAY from morning to night i think about nothing but him#bc it's like#if im on a walk im like oh how nice cute birds i wish he was here so i could hold his hands and look at the birds w him#when a new show comes out im like ohh i wish we could cuddle in bed and watch this#like i just wanna be with him#all i want is to be spend every day with him#just like chilling and excersising and cleaning and showering and having fun literally everything i wanna be w him#literally i wanna fkn cry#like fr when i take a shower im like.. wow i wanna wash his hair and lather him w soap and clean him 🧍🏻♀️#i wanna go for runs w him. i wanna go skinny dipping with him#i just wanna do all the things with just him#it's the only fkn thing i can think abt it's driving me crazy#am i broken? i feel like other ppl dont get like this#like im not even exaggarating or anything#since january 24 2023 i have been thinking abt him 24/7 365#????????#???????? i wanna scream like genuinely is there smth wrong w me?#ppl who are madly in love still have their own lives#i cannot do anything but think of him#i mean i've been struggling extra extra much w school bc of my feelings for him#it's not his fault ofc but fr im so busy obsessing over him that i dont even do my assignments#i think theres smth wrong with him i genuinely want my entire existence to revolve around him
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FUCK I FORGOT I NEED TK DO TH TNING.
#NOOOOOOOOO IM SO SAD NOW.#i am going to CRY and it is all his fault. >:(#/nbh#kinda.#꒰ঌ♡ 𝟽𝟽𝟽.ramble
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