#i am giving the benefit of the doubt and hoping this was not sent with snark in mind

[nyandela-catalogue]

have you guyz considered chsnging ur namez bcz of the situation

A.K. doesn’t own religion or Shakespeare or names.

While we aren’t religious, we still acknowledge the names came far before TMC existed.

(This unintentionally became a long response, so I put it under readmore to spare you.)

—————

Cesar goes by Ces bc it’s cute + it fits. Brutus (who doesn’t talk here) is his “counterpart”. Think “Et tu, Brute?” No, he is not an introject of Julius Caesar, but you get my point.

Jonah (also known as Joner) is a name from the story of Jonah and The Whale. Jonah is also just a very cool name. I wish we were named Jonah. (I suppose there is still time to change that since we haven’t changed our legal name yet, although it would be tricky socially, at first.)

Adam is a very common name. There is also the story of Adam and Eve. Adam doesn’t want to change his name because of personal reasons, but he also accepts the names “Ada”(ay-duh) and “Marley”.

Mark is also a very common name, though there are religious texts that use it as well. He also goes by Marky sometimes, but he prefers that nickname stays within the system.

I- Lee Judas -need not change my name for any reason.

There are 120+ of us (that we’re aware of) from various sources and causes, my friend. What we show is what we’re comfortable sharing + what is thematically-appropriate for this blog in particular.

Like Jonah mentioned previously, we have 64 other sideblogs aside from this one.

Anyhow, the four mentioned + their “AU” derivatives have considered changing their names, and some already are working on doing so (ex: D!Cesar goes by Strawberry Cheesecake, L!Jonah goes by Lemon Bar, etc).

It’s absurd to expect people to change their names because of a situation (mostly) unrelated to their existence. However, I understand where you’re coming from.

I bid you well.

-Lee Judas👑🪽

[marbles-for-breakfast]

I mean, no one actually knows for certain how traumagenic systems form either. The theory of structural dissociation is pretty speculative when it comes to DID. We don’t know exactly what causes most brain differences. The brain is really complicated, and even when we’re able to pinpoint what about the brain causes the differences, the WHY of it is impossible to determine with any sort of certainty in the vast, vast majority of cases.

But aside from that, why do we need to know exactly how we formed in order to accept that this is how we are? Is it really so unbelievable that some people are just born this way? If being plural/multiple is something that can happen, which it obviously is, why are we so sure it can only be caused by one thing? How would you even prove WHY someone is plural/multiple? And if you can’t prove why someone is plural/multiple, how can you prove that all systems are caused by trauma? And if we can’t prove that, why are people so certain? Because it’s not from looking at the science.

So, does telling other people they’re not valid make you feel more valid? Does telling yourself a bunch of tumblr/twitter users are the reason you’re not accepted feel more manageable than grappling with the reality of society’s ableism? Are you simply in an echo-chamber of misinformation and demonizing of other perspectives?

I have an honest and non-judge mental suggestion for the asker here. If you really want to know what someone believes, ask THEM. I know endos can probably be a little hostile to anti-endos because of the whole telling-us-that-our-material-reality-is-fake thing, but I’m sure some people would be willing to be patient and respectful. A lot of us really do just want anti-endos to listen and try to understand. That’s why I try to come across as kindly as I can (even though people can read whatever tone they want into my words), and all I really do is try to explain.

I see some genuine questions on this blog, which makes me sad because I know they’re not going to find any answers here, so I try to give my own and I hope the original question-askers will see them. I just wanna have a genuine conversation where my own existence isn’t called into question or framed as a debate. I just want to refine my opinions and expand my knowledge.

I want to learn about my own system through talking to others. I can’t do that if the tag I’m using is filled with people trying to tell me that we must have some secret hidden trauma we have no evidence for, and if we don’t, we’re not real. Does no one think it’s a bad idea to tell someone who might very well have a dissociative disorder that they’re not real?

Just…. just listen to people when they tell you what their experiences are. That’s all I want. It’s all I ask. I don’t need to give you a source for my experiences being real. It should go without saying that in a space like this, we should believe each other when we talk about our lives. Why does that suddenly stop when it no longer fits the narrative you were told when you first learned about DID? Why is it unthinkable that what you first heard isn’t the full story? Isn’t that usually the case with stuff like this?

Anyway, the only way we’re going to move forward with our understanding of osddid and multiplicity/plurality as a whole is by first believing each other. Or at least being willing to believe SOME things. At least be willing to LISTEN. Again, that’s all I ask. Other endos/inclusivists who feel similarly, lmk. I want to get a sense for how many people feel this way.

this might be a rude thing to ask but i'm not even a system and i'm just curious like. how do endos think systems work? like. how would it form without trauma? spontaneously?

i don't know ... It's honestly confusing

[lunarlando]

girl dad lando doing his babygirl's hair (she has his curls for sure hehe)!! he struggles a little but does a decent job at the end ~ maybe following a tutorial video or wifey is guiding him but creative freedom to you ❤️

so cute, thanks for the request! x

feel free to request more :)

“You’re in charge of one thing before we have to leave for brunch with your family.” 

Lando glances up from where he's laid out on the carpet tickling a wildly giggling Estelle to see you with your hands on your hips. 

You’re still one of the many shirts of his that you’ve resorted to using as pajamas since your currently seven month pregnant belly has popped, and you’re looking at him very pointedly, but he still smiles fondly at the sight of you. It’s just an unconscious thing that his face does, that it’s been doing since the day he met you. 

“Mama!” Estelle squeals, pointing at you excitedly. 

“Hi, my darling!” You wiggle your fingers at her, beaming at your little girl with enthusiasm.

“What’ve you got for me, babe?” 

“Be the best husband ever and do your daughter’s hair.” 

“Pretty sure I already am the best husband ever, but alright. Reckon her hair looks just fine the way it is, don’t you think?” He aims a sideways glance towards the toddler. Estelle’s hair is an exact replica of her father’s, tight curls that like to do whatever they want, as evident by the tornado of brown framing her chubby cheeks at the moment. Lando smacks his lips together, bobbing his head understandingly. “Yeah, okay, I’ll try my best.” 

“Thank you, love.” 

He scoops Estelle off the floor with an over-exaggerated grunt, climbing to his feet with her slung over his shoulder the way she always loves to be held by him. She shakes with peals of cute toddler giggles, patting him on the back surprisingly firm for a one year old, making him groan. “Woah, you’re getting so big and strong, Stell! C'mon, let’s go do your hair.” 

You press a grateful kiss to his cheek as he passes you, booping Estelle’s nose playfully before they make their way down the hall to the bathroom. 

Lando sets Estelle down on the bathroom counter, squinting at the items you’ve left next to the sink for him. A few combs, a small brush, a tiny water mister thing that he has no idea what to do with. 

As if you sense he’s confused, you call from the bedroom, “D’you need some help getting started?” 

“No, no. I’ve got this,” He calls back, grabbing a comb off the counter. “Dada’s got this, doesn’t he, lovebug?” 

Estelle is too preoccupied with looking at herself in the mirror to hear him, though if she did, she probably would’ve said no. He has no idea how to do her hair. Sure, he knows how to do his own hair (barely), and hers is similar to his, but it’s different. 

He pulls up the photo album he’s got on his phone of pictures of Estelle—ones he’s taken, ones you’ve sent him whilst he was away—hoping one of them will help him draw inspiration for today’s look. 

One that particularly catches his eye is a photo from the mini holiday you all took during summer break a few months ago, where Estelle’s springy curls are pulled into two bunches towards the top of her head. From what he remembers, those bunches quickly ended up smeared with applesauce, but they were adorable while they lasted. 

“Think this might be the one, how ‘bout you?” Lando turns the phone towards Estelle, showing her the photo. She aims a gummy smile at him, wiggling around happily. “Yeah, s’cute, innit? Alright, here we go.”

—

“Babe, would you c’mere for a second?” 

Lando’s voice rings out from the bathroom after twenty minutes of silence, save for the occasional giggle. You’re all done getting ready, and as much as you want to pop your head in to see what’s happening, you’ll give your husband the benefit of the doubt. You pad down the hallway as fast as your pregnancy waddle will let you, not knowing what to expect. 

“How’s it going in here, my loves?” 

Lando stands back with his hands propped on his hips, head tilted. “I think I did pretty decent, no?” 

Estelle’s got two tiny sort of space buns on her head, a little messy, but better than you were expecting, given Lando’s inexperience. She leans in your direction upon laying eyes on you, making grabby hands at you until you scoop her up. You shift her in your arms so she can see herself in the large mirror. 

“Look, baby! Who’s that over there?” You coo encouragingly, pointing at her in the mirror with a big smile. Estelle mumbles something unintelligible, patting herself on the chest happily. “That’s right, it’s you! Dada did a fantastic job with your hair, didn’t he? You look so cute!” 

Lando tosses the comb he’s holding behind his back and up over his shoulder, catching it and pretending to run it through his own curls in one smooth motion. “Call me Stell’s personal professional hairstylist.” 

He’s serious about it too, giving a straight face until you manage to come up with a response. 

“Is the racing not working out for you? Had to find another job?” You joke, chuckling lightly. He scoffs, bumping your hip with his. You reach up to give him a kiss on the cheek, then hold Estelle up too. “Give dada a kiss?” 

Estelle knows the word kiss very well. Execution, not so much, but she tries her best as she plants what has to be the world’s wettest kiss to Lando’s cheek too. A younger Lando might’ve wiped the slobber away immediately, but dad Lando has no problem with it. He’s changed a lot since his younger days, especially since becoming a first time parent. 

You’re both still navigating that journey together, but you’ll have a year and then some more experience once baby girl number two makes her arrival in t-minus two months time. But for now, you’ll cherish every moment with Estelle before your focus is split between two kids. 

“Oh, thank you for the kiss, lovebug!” Lando chirps, booping her nose gently. “Usually I’d charge top dollar for a mint hairdo like this, but I’ll take that as payment since you’re so cute. You get it from your mum, don’t ya?” 

“I dunno about that,” You hum, leaning into him. “Her dad’s pretty cute too.” 

You don’t have it in you to tell him one of Estelle’s bunches sits higher than the other, not when he’s smiling down so proudly at the two of you like you’re his world.

[tiathecreator]

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ my love mine all mine. ( dick grayson ) !

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎.𖥔 ݁ ˖✎ᝰ synopsis — " nothing in the world is mine for free, but my love, mine, all mine, all mine. " blk reader.

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟwarnings — possibly ooc dick ( i never write characters how they actually are lol ),angst, possibly hurt/no comfort ( ? ), unrequited love ( sorry y'all), she's a doozy y'all, dramatic x 100000.

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚ tia speaks — i need to stop listening to mitski while i brainstorm new fic idea because i just keep writing song fics. but alas, here we are. i literally love this album and i lowkey might make a masterlist for my song fics because i write sooo many of them. i hope y'all like this because i am proclaiming song fics to be my brand. i also suggest listening to the song as you read the latter half of this. dedicated to @pinkhoodi cuz this OUR man.

"you'll be there, right?"

"are you kidding me? i wouldn't miss it for the world."

"where's dick?" your mother asked as you took a seat next to her at the dinner table. she was expecting the young man's presence, having gone as far to prepare one of his favorite side dishes and a little extra to take home. "i thought you said he was coming tonight?"

"more excited to see him than me, hm?" you joked, attempting to avoid your mother's question. she gave you a deadpanned stare, causing you to sigh dramatically before answering. "he told me that he couldn't make it a few hours ago, i just forgot to tell you."

"oh, honey..." your mom started, but you shook your head and offered her a reassuring smile.

"ma, it's not a big deal. i told him we could just celebrate another time," you lied, resting a hand on her shoulder as she gave you a sympathetic smile. your eldest brother sat across from you, having noticed dick's absence, but chose not to mention it. having heard the topic of conversation, he grabs your attention to congratulate you.

you were a small fashion designer, often dealing with making pieces for special events for the small city of bludhaven. you work out of a small shop that you rent with some of the money from your designs as well with the income from being a art teacher for the local elementary school. you took a leap of faith and sent a few of your designs to a big name corporations and they loved them, immediately offering you a position. this was your dream and everyone was excited for you.

and now, you're at the celebratory dinner your parents planned in your honor. the same dinner that dick was supposed to be at, pouring you a glass of merlot. he hadn't said a word. he hasn't answered your calls nor your texts. you tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, trying to convince yourself that this was just a misunderstanding on his part, but you couldn't help but care about his absence.

but this was your night. so, you sucked it up and smiled for the pictures with your friends and family. you laughed at the jokes. you even gave a big teary speech with the power of brandy.

"did you drive tonight?" your second eldest brother asked, watching as you swayed a bit before turning to look at him.

"no. i figured i'd have a ride home given that this was my celebration and i knew i'd drink, but..." you shrugged. "i'll probably just get a taxi."

"get in," he opens the passenger door, gesturing for you to get it. "i'll give you a ride."

you stared at him for a few seconds before giving him a drunken smile. "awww big brother, you're too kind."

"yeah, yeah. just remember me when you're rich and famous with your own fashion line, okay?" he said as you got into the passenger seat, drunkenly settling in the seat before turning to him and giving him a cheery smile and a thumbs up. he huffed a laugh before closing his car door.

he rounds the car, gets in, and begins to drive. he glances over at you before sighing at the melancholic gaze in your eyes.

"so," he started, his tone gentle. you perked up at the sound of his voice, turning your head to look at him. "dick didn't show."

"yeah," you sighed out, turning away to look out the window. "he didn't come."

"why?" he asked the pressing question that you were sure many others wanted to ask at the dinner as they noticed the empty chair to your left.

"he just... didn't come."

"you two fighting or something? because i can't seem to think of another reason as to why he wouldn't—" your brother started but you cut him off.

"i don't really wanna talk about it," you rubbed eyes, effectively messing up your makeup for the night. you didn't want to talk about how your best friend wasn't there to celebrate your greatest achievement to date. that was a tomorrow ( read: next week ) problem. "he didn't come. that's it."

there was a pause before he sighed. "okay."

"okay," you repeated, slouching back in your seat before smiling to yourself. "drop me off at the bar by my apartment? i could use one more drink."

"i think you've had enough to drink for one night," he responded as the parking garage of your apartment building came in the view.

as he pulled toward the gate of the garage, you looked out the window, noticing a familiar figure sitting on the hood of a car in front of your apartment building. you let another tired sigh before looking ahead of you.

"yeah, you're probably right."

you woke up to someone pounding on your door, coupled with the pounding headache as a consequence from last night's drinking. you remove yourself from your bed, dragging your feet over to your door as the knocking continued.

"yeah, yeah, i heard you the first time," you groan as you open the door, keeping the chain lock secured as you did so. you rubbed your eyes as you asked "what?"

"y/n," you startled at the sound of his voice, immediately looking up and being met with the guilty gaze of dick grayson with a bouquet in his hand. hurt and anger filled you as you rush to close your door, unsuccessful as he shoved his foot in the crack of the door. "y/n, please. i'm sorry! just-just listen to me for a second."

"go fuck yourself, grayson," you said, leaning your full body weight on the door as you tried to get it to close despite his foot being in the way. "move your foot or i'm gonna fucking break it."

"just let me in so we can talk, y/n. okay? i just wanna talk," he begged as he tried to push the door open and away from his throbbing foot.

"i said, move. your. fucking. foot." you emphasized your words as you threw your body against your door, further crushing his foot. he removed his foot, allowing you to close your door. you leaned against it as the tears welled up in your eyes.

"y/n, please. just let me in. i know i fucked up, just let me in, so we can talk," he spoke through the door. you scoffed aloud, shaking your head at the desperation in his voice. you thought about leaving him there to talk to the door as you wallowed in self pity in your bed, but your hoping heart got in the way of your vengeful mind. you stood up and undid the chain lock before open the door and walking away, allowing him to let himself in.

"why?" was the first thing you said when he closed the door behind him.

"y/n, i know you're upset—" he started, but you shook your head.

"why didn't you come?" you asked again.

"i didn't mean to flake on you like that. okay, you know you mean the world to me. i just got so caught up yesterday, y'know? like with work and barbara, i just lost track of—"

"barbara? you missed the dinner because you were with barbara?" your voice cracked as you stared at him in disbelief.

barbara.

it was always barbara.

it was barbara when he didn't come out with you for your 21st birthday. it was barbara when he missed all 10 of your calls when you found out your apartment was broken into and you just needed a place to crash for the night. it was barbara when you got rejected from your dream fashion academy and dick was the one person you wanted to comfort you and tell you that you were still good enough.

it was barbara when you finally worked up the courage to tell dick that you had been in love with him since you first met and he tells you that he finally got barbara to agree to give him a chance.

and each time, you sucked it up and forgave him, whether he knew he hurt you or not.

"yeah, i had some time to kill before the dinner and she asked me to come see her. and i mean, she's my girlfriend, so of course i went. and then i realized that it had gotten pretty late and by the time i would've gotten to the dinner, it would've been over. i came by last night, waiting for you to come back. i got this big bouquette and a cake from that shop on 2nd—" he rambled, sitting the flowers down on the counter and pacing across the floor as he tried to redeem himself.

"you missed my dinner for barbara? the dinner that my family, who lives 3 hours away, planned to celebrate me achieving the one thing that i've wanted since i could write...for barbara? for a little alone time with your girlfriend? you mean i sat through two hours of my mom coddling me because the one person i wanted to celebrate with, who i wanted to support me, didn't show because you were with barbara?" you interjected, fighting tears and swallowing the lump in your throat. dick stopped his pacing to look at you, a huge sigh leaving his body as he scratched the back of his neck.

the two of you stood in silence as you stared at the nervous man in front of you. dick opened and closed his mouth, searching for something to say as he notice the quivering of your bottom lip and the dewy glaze of your eyes.

"yeah," he broke the silence. "i know i fucked up yesterday, but that's why i'm here now. i wanted to fix my fuck up. y'know, take you out for like breakfast or to the art museum a few towns over with the fashion exhibit i told you about. we can spend the whole day out celebrating."

"well, i don't want to celebrate today. the time to celebrate was yesterday at dinner which you missed so," you shrugged at him, turning around walk into your kitchen area, hoping to contain your emotions for a few more seconds.

"i know this is important to you, okay, and i'm sorry that i missed the dinner yesterday, but i think you're being a little unfair to me, right now. i mean, i know that we're best friends and we always want to be there for each other, but i also have a life of my own. you can't always have me, y/n," he said.

you can't always have me, y/n.

the words rang through your mind as your head fell forward and your shoulders began to shake as the dam broke. your tears fell rapidly as you silently cried, refusing to make a sound to save the little bit of dignity you had left.

maybe you were being unfair. it was just a dinner and he was trying to make it up to you now. he was a busy man and you knew that, so him clearing his schedule for you was a good sign that he was sorry. and beside, he was right. you couldn't have him.

but just a little part of you, a very naive part, hoped that you could one day matter more that barbara when it came to dick.

you sniffled and let out a weak laugh. "you know what, you're right. i can't expect to have you all the time."

"y/n, you know i didn't mean it like that," he tried, approaching you to pull you into a hug as your tears still fell. you pulled away from him as you moved to lean on the sink. you crossed your arms before letting out another watery laugh and looking at the man.

"i think you should go home," you give him your best smile. it was strained and shaky, but it was all you could muster up.

"y/n, what about the museum—" he tried again. you shook your head for the umpteenth time.

"i'm not up for it today. you can make it up to me some other time but i really can't look at your face right now," you walked to your front door and held it open, waiting for him to walk out.

"no. i'm leaving you here to cry because i missed your dinner," he looked at you, frustrated that you suggested that he left you alone in the state that you were in.

"it's not about the dinner, dick," you exasperated. "i just think you should go. i'll give you a call when i'm free, okay?"

"y/n..." he started, not moving from his spot.

"dick, please leave," you finalized, gesturing to the door as you held it open. he began to walk to the door, dropping his head in shame. "take the flowers, too."

"the fl—you love daisies."

"barbara loves daisies. i like lillies. i appreciate the thought, but i think you should take them, too," you told him. he looked at the bouquet on counter before retreiving it and making his way out the door. he was silent as he left out of your apartment. he stopped in front of you for a few seconds, opening and closing his mouth a few time before leaving. you closed the door lightly behind him and slid down the door, resting your back against it as you allowed yourself to cry once more.

nothing is the world belongs to me, but my love, mine, all mine.

nothing in the world is mine for free, but my love, mine, all mine, all mine.

© tiathecreator 2023. all rights reserved.

[whimsicalwritingsandmore]

Want You Back | ateez x reader

Pairing: werewolf!ot8!ateez x werewolf!reader

Genre: fluff mostly, romance, poly, a little angst?

Warnings for this chapter: fighting, mention of a sharp object.

Word Count: 1550 words

a/n: yeah, I couldn't wait to share this! I'm lowkey worried I'm being too repetitive in the chapters; I don't think I am when I re-read previous ones but ✨overthinking.✨ so I'll always be grateful for your feedback, and I hope you enjoy! <3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 8

Hongjoong flew across the room.

You know when someone is beyond infuriated and enraged, but they maintain an unmoved and unflustered disposition? That was Jisung at the moment. Despite the boiling rage that simmered and seethed inside him, Jisung displayed a calm and undisturbed expression, almost like a statue, and that could never be a good thing. Undeterred by Chan’s urges to stop him, Jisung tossed and hurled Hongjoong around while Yunho and Yeosang attempted to rescue their leader…so they could deal with him themselves.

"Is it fun to mess with someone's feelings? I don't think it is. Maybe you need a really good wake up call, coffee clearly can't help. Don't worry, this won't hurt much...at least for me." Jisung casually stated.

Jeongin lodged himself by the door because he wanted a good view of Jisung in action. Meanwhile, San and Jongho struggled to restrain Seonghwa and Mingi from pummeling Hongjoong, and Wooyoung was torn between cheering for Jisung and helping Yunho and Yeosang.

But then he realized there were enough people to handle the situation and Hongjoong deserved it, so he slipped out of the café and went searching for you. 

Wooyoung was furiously livid but at the same time, he was wretchedly heartbroken. He couldn't believe Hongjoong would ever do something like that and it was eating him alive that he didn't realize sooner. Wooyoung liked to give the benefit of the doubt to people. So, when Hongjoong coaxed him into hanging out with Lila, it was mainly due to the former's reasoning being that Lila was on her own and they should make her feel welcome.

But you also felt alone too and as Wooyoung recalled every time he essentially stood you up and listened to Hongjoong, he could feel his heart crack little by little, the pain being unbearable and unrelenting. He felt like he was slowly losing his mind, the aching feeling over the idea of losing you completely because of his foolishness, was burning like a fever and consuming all of his thoughts. It was like a hurricane, ripping through him with no mercy.

Wooyoung refused to entertain that thought and pushed it away as far away as he could. He was going to fix things on his part, and if you would have him, he would stay here in the human realm with you. He did not mind giving up his status, position and responsibilities. Rather, he preferred to help you with the café. He didn't care for the power and ranking being an alpha brought, he cared about you, and his alpha wanted you, forever and for more. 

Just like the first time he met you.

It was nearing the Christmas season, and Wooyoung convinced Yeosang to venture out to see the activities that were taking place in the main town. However, the latter found the weather to be much too dreary and cold for his liking, so he plopped himself on a bench and sent Wooyoung for a coffee. 

Wooyoung scoured every tent until he stumbled upon yours. Along with Seonghwa, the two of you planned to hand out complimentary coffee and tea for the cold weather alongside some biscuits. When he approached and met you face to face, his heart began to do somersaults and he could feel himself burning up in the cold weather. There was a connection between the two of you that united each other’s hearts. You were graceful, humorous and so pretty, the kind of beauty that radiates from within. As the two of your hands grazed one another and the familiar sparks erupted, it was like every single puzzle piece fit perfectly where it belonged.

And as the other boys came in together, it became clear that the puzzle was complete. 

Wooyoung had no idea where he was going till he saw you standing near a lake. Just like the first time he saw you, you were still charming and enchanting from afar. In an entire big city with so many scenic views, all he could see was you and he rushed to you with no time to waste.

In the meantime, you stood at the lakebed ferociously irate and riotously bitter. You could feel the flashes of irritation and raw rage thrumming through your veins. Your mood sharply decreased and soured like a lemon after the confrontation and in the moment, you wanted to do nothing more and just fiercely smack Hongjoong.

How did it end up like this? 

And was it even going to get better? You had a bad feeling it wouldn’t.

"Y/N! Y/N!" Wooyoung hollered.

Surprised, you blinked in confusion and turned to see Wooyoung hurriedly sprinting towards you.

"Wooyoung? How did you find me?”

"I just wandered around and saw you from across the street."

“You can’t just wander Wooyoung,” you chastised, “You need to be careful out here.”

Wooyoung felt that similar feeling he always felt when you reprimanded him. It felt like home again, when none of this happened.

He stood in front of you and got a good look at your expression. Despite your rigid form, your face was streaked with dry tears. He could imagine all the emotions you were currently processing. All because of them.

He then fell to his knees as he bawled.

"Please don't leave me." he then whimpered.

"Wooyoung..."

"I'm ready to give it all up for you, Y/N. I'll do whatever you need me to. My life means nothing without you in it. Please, please give me a chance."

Wooyoung couldn’t bear to lose you. He silently hoped things would get better from here, but just like you, he too had a bad feeling that loomed in the air.

"Get up Wooyoung." You spoke softly.

How is this going to go? It wasn’t just two of you, there were nine of you. One, who had already dug himself deeper and deeper in a hole, slashed a bond that was meant to be so divine and seraphic. But what about the others? They were willing to repent and atone for their actions. But…was it enough? Was there any possibility of going back to how things were before?

And Hongjoong, how do you just forget all he said and did?

It’s not like you could meet again for the first time.

You assisted Wooyoung from the ground and cupped his face to wipe away the stray tears. However, you felt it again, that bad feeling and suddenly, from your peripheral you noticed a looming figure coming towards the both of you with a sharp object in hand. Noticing the blade in full view as it neared closer, you pushed Wooyoung out of the way and tried to block it. The miscreant stumbled forward, reeling from the block and swung blindly in your direction. Despite the pounding blood in your ears, you outstretched your arm to grab the perpetrator’s wrist, only to have the blade gnash your hand and then feel a sharp sensation in your side.

Wooyoung counterattacked and managed to rip the blade out of his hand before plunging into the culprit. 

You collapsed to the ground, shaking as the pain seared through your body. In your blurred vision, you saw Wooyoung’s silhouette rush towards you, bawling your name like his life depended on it. 

The blade was coated with an extract from the deadly nightshade - crushed belladonna and nerium.

You didn't know what else happened, everything around you became indistinct and all you could remember was just Wooyoung's cries and a slight apparition of Minho before it all went black.

In the meantime, the others felt it. Your bond went desolate again. But unlike last time, this time there was no lingering presence. They couldn’t feel you whatsoever as a blackhole took over instantly.

Chan’s phone snapped everyone out of their trance. Jisung felt the shift in Chan’s aura, and as he zeroed in on Chan’s call from Minho, he knew it wasn’t good. That's the only reason why Jisung let Hongjoong go. Minho spoke loudly amidst the screams from Wooyoung and Chan felt his blood turn cold. 

No, no, no.

This can’t be happening.

“What’s going on?” Seonghwa asked, “Is Y/N okay?”

When Chan spluttered out what happened, an avalanche of pain crashed over them without warning. There was now a profound emptiness in each of them, even Hongjoong, threatening to swallow them whole. Their spirits felt like it was sinking like a stone in water and misery tried to seep in and envelop them like a wet blanket, heavy and smothering.

“We need to go now.” Chan firmly stated.

Each of them bolted out behind Chan leaving Hongjoong and Jisung behind.

Jisung looked at Hongjoong, and saw the grief washing over him but also realization. 

“I had told Mingi I was wary of him, but you? I don’t like you one bit. We’re not done here but if that look in your eyes means anything, then you know you better get to it. All of this is your fault, if you only had a backbone to stand up to your mother. But mark my words Hongjoong, if anything happens to Y/N, I’m coming after your whole family.”

Jisung muttered a spell in Hongjoong’s direction and left Hongjoong to himself and his grief.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist:

@eastleighsblog @sehun096rainbow @greensnakeglobep @satsuri3su @zonked-times @sugarrush-blush @lomons @explorewithd @chatsgotmytongue @scarfac3 @popcatx0 @angrynightnight @sannieluvrr @idfkeddieishot @alicia-dpa @park-simphwa @puppyminnnie @mysticfire0435 @sundayysunshine @chngbnwf @dementedaly @thunderous-wolf @itsmeregan

a/n: hello again! just wanted to let new readers know, if you're interested in being part of the taglist, you can send me a private message or in the ask me anything! It'll be easier for me to see! if I missed your message, please PM me and I'll add you in asap! thank you! <3

[spot-the-ableism]

https://www.tumblr.com/homochadensistm/762029424206020608/do-not-open-this-persons-archive-and-go-to-october

just was made very uncomfortable with the use of the r-slur (especially as an autistic person)

“The R-word, also known as the R-slur, is a hurtful term that remains prevalent throughout social media, according to a Kantar Social Listening study. The research shows that when social media users are posting about people with intellectual disabilities, 7 in every 10 of those posts are negative, and 6 in 10 contain a slur.  The R-word is a form of hate speech that stands for “retard,” “retarded,” or other offensive words ending in “-tard.” While “mental retardation” was originally introduced as a medical term in 1961 for people with intellectual disabilities, in the decades since, the R-word has become an insult used all too commonly in everyday language. Those who use the R-word often do so with little regard for the pain it causes people with intellectual disabilities—and the exclusion it perpetuates in our society.” -source

there’s not exactly any perfect resource I can point to that explains everything correctly so I will explain, since I will be @‘ing homo with this information I genuinely do think it’s that because their first language is not English they probably don’t know about the reason why people are upset, so I am using the benefit of the doubt.

“Retard”, “retarded”, “retardation” and “retardant” are all words that mean to slow or delay something. It’s originally a French-ish word.

there are many different contexts that the word is used, not all times is it a slur.

But the reason it is, is due to almost a hundred plus years of systemic abuses to intellectually disabled people, epileptics, people with learning disabilities and people with autism and schizophrenia.

for almost a 100 plus years people were sent to institutions or asylums to live out the rest of their lives abused or dying, many many people died in those institutions.

they were diagnosed with “mental retardation” which is actually an umbrella term for all sorts of mental and neurological disabilities, many people with Down’s syndrome, facial deformities and differences, people without the use of their vocal cords and more were also treated in these asylums and institutions and were among the many effected by the rampant systemic ableism and eugenics of the time.

there is this idea that asylums and institutions are not bad, when in reality it’s been almost 200-300 years of them and you can have families and friends and people who wrote books about it and they’ll tell you what it is. Hell.

so why did I give you that context?

well the reason “retarded” or “retard” is a slur is because of those institutions and asylums treatment of people they called the R slur.

their autonomy was taken away, they had no rights, anyone calling out the abuses of institutions were for a long time also penalised, and the eugenics of the time had swayed way too many peoples opinions of the rights of the neurodevlopmentally disabled.

over time things got better and the eugenics of it all started to be penalised, but the fact remains that the r slur is incredibly hurtful and harmful to people still to this day.

there is generational trauma that comes with being neurodevlopmentally disabled or having intellectual disability.

so a lot of people are very insulted and upset at the usage of the word as a slur to insult or belittle others.

I hope that makes sense to you @homochadensistm

[nalyra-dreaming]

Can’t wait for people to flip when they meet “Privileged French White micro-aggression compilation”’s mentor, Mr. macro-aggression colonizer superiority complex Marius “I married a thirteen-year old former sex slave and adopted him as my son” de Romanus. Marius is his own trigger warning. Wait until they hear about Marius’ disciplinary methods involving whips and willow switches. Or the fact that Marius sent his son-wife to a brothel to learn “important skills”. Or that when he told Lestat about Those Who Must Be Kept, Marius literally framed Akasha’s genocidal tendencies as “taming savages”. Oh boy, it’s not gonna be good.

Like… Who do you think Lestat learned his skewed world view from? Moving to America was probably a bucket of cold water to Lestat. I would like to give Lestat the benefit of the doubt, as his father was an asshole aristocrat. Lestat quickly learned how privileged he was, even as a disgraced marquis’ son. His genuine horror at how the racist fat cats treated Louis said everything to me. I don’t think anyone understands that Lestat is interested in doing better. He is. He’s working through it. He will fuck up, because nobody ever gave him a look outside his little world.

The thing is, vampires do end up in ruin when they stay behind as the world around them goes forward. Just like humans, when we get stuck in outdated ideals. It’s heavily implied at the end of the Blood Communion novel that Marius is slowly going mad. All vampires do, at some point, go through a period of madness. Some just come out of it better than others. In the IWTV novel, Louis eats grass and mopes around his brother’s rectory for a while after Armand hesitantly leaves him. Armand kills his own coven. Khayman loses his memories for a while and wanders the world, snacking on mortals’ bone marrow. Daniel becomes mute and obsessive, luckily finding an outlet in model trains. Poor Lestat lost an eye and had to be restrained, before he slept for a long while. Thorne got tied down for a while. Benji and Sybelle. Unm. Well, Benji ended up with a podcast and Sybelle delved into the piano. And Louis, of course, tried to kill himself once— but it changed his relationship with Lestat for the better.

Okay, so I went on a meta tangent, but the point is, Marius is an even bigger fuck-up than Lestat, and covering him is going to get pretty ugly. And even more existential. I hope viewers stop and philosophize, you know? Everyone stops to question the nature of mankind and how we fall if we don’t move with time.

And as far as Marius goes, hope Justin Kirk is prepared. 😅

P.S. I swear I’m not high, just tired. 🥱

:))

(For those who think the "eating grass" is an euphemism here: "I was picking at the grass, and tasting it, though the taste was bitter and unnatural. The gesture seemed natural.":))

Marius... is going to be something. Which is part of the reason why I keep saying that Justin Kirk will be perfect if he is, because it needs a very seasoned actor with a lot of thick skin to pull him off (and, I mean, Justin does not shy away from difficult characters as we know *nods at Succession*).

It will be interesting to see what kind of wounds they will put their proverbial fingers in.

Like, the casual racism and superiority complex Marius employs has to clash with Armand's recast, too. Not necessarily with the choice (of Amadeo) per se, but with the circumstances. I am betting real money that there will be some very uncomfortable meta commentary on sex slave trade in combination with racism coming up right there (and I for one want them to make that commentary! Even though it will probably lead to more fandom drama.).

These vampires are children of their times, and they do change/adapt/grow, but... slowly. (I am not so sure about Lestat getting his world view from Marius, I think there is a reason why Lestat never became the pupil Marius wanted him to be, and I do think that Lestat might be willfully ignorant at times, which can come off a certain way, but his own backstory is more to blame here than Marius, imho.)

I do not need Marius to be a good character to enjoy the fuck out of him, on the contrary.

I am not sure if the show will go the "whip" way. They might insinuate. I think they will, as with other scenes let the mind of the audience do the rest, which will be more than enough, too. I mean, the audience can read up on it all in the book *coughs*. There's no need to go more explicit than needed.

But yes. I hope Justin Kirk is prepared :)))

And... I hope the audience is prepared as well.

[4rtificialfolio]

It’s Complicated, My Darling - Chapter 1

Chpt. 1: “Cat got your tongue, doll?”

“Ada is an operative in the 1940s from Brighton in England, sent over to New York City to work with the Americans, uncovering secrets and spying on potential suspects. She meets a handsome young man, Nick Folio, on the train into the city; little does she know how that moment would change the trajectory of her life”

Parings: Nick folio X OFC (Ada Chapman)

Word count: 1.6K

Chapter Warnings: brief mention of war, slightly suggestive, explicit language, fluff

Series master list

(see masterlist for overall warnings, chapter begins below the cut)

Ada

May 20th 1941

New York City, USA

7:00 am

Dear Diary,

Yesterday is still a haze and I barely slept all night, tossing and turning thinking about him. I still can’t believe my luck or lack thereof. Things are always too good to be true and yesterday proved that. God damn you, Nick. It had to be you didn’t it? Who am I kidding, we met once and he’s cute but that’s it. I don’t know him, he was just an attractive man on the train who just so happens to be the man I’m being told to track. It can’t be so different from any other mission, can it? I can do this, I’m bloody brilliant at this job and this mission will be a piece of cake, I hope.

In other news, Dad sent another letter. He thinks they might have to evacuate soon, after the raid on the Portsmouth docs the whole town is on edge but hopefully, it won’t come to that. Denis is already missing and I don’t know what I’d do if I lost Dad and Peggy too. I can’t think about that, I shouldn’t.

Anyway, I’ll be back tomorrow. 

I’m sure I’ll have a more interesting update after I’ve started my undercover work today,

Ada

-

The Precinct, 9:30 am

My train was delayed today, my first day on the cover job and I’m already late. Great first impression Ada! 

“Miss Chapman, I presume?” a middle-aged man, with a not-so-flattering navy blue suit and a grey homburg hat that he definitely should’ve thrown away in the 30s, calls my name from across the ground floor.

“A little late but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt considering It’s your first day”. By the affirmative tone of his low, grumbling voice, I assume he’s the captain; Michael Brewer. I wonder if he knows he’s missing a button on his shirt?

“Yes sir, nice to meet you. Apologies for my Tardiness” 

“Please follow me, I’ll take you to your desk so you can settle in. We run a tight ship here Chapman and I expect the very best from my employees, no less. let's hope you can keep up” I internally snicker at the tight ship remark. If it truly was a tight ship, I wouldn’t be here. If not for the fact I’m here undercover, I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at that sentence; but something about it unsettles me. Alarm bells ring in my head. Michael will be on my watch list.

The tour is pretty mundane, I’ve only been hired as the secretary for my department so there’s no need for me to see the entirety of the precinct however, one room, in particular, catches my eye. The captain’s office, I’ll have to make a mental note of its whereabouts. Michael has been rambling on about the pride and joy of the precinct, and how he’s “built a family he can trust”; I refrain from laughing, being late on my first day is one thing but being fired for rudeness on the first day? I think I’ll pass. Before I know it, We’ve already reached my department floor. It’s nothing too extravagant but it’s certainly the biggest. The criminal investigation department has the most employees in the entire precinct, from the constable to the detective team, the sergeant, translators, the medical examiners and then there’s me, the accountant and secretary. I know Nick is a detective and, in fact, I’m pretty sure he’s the lead detective. Speaking of him, I wonder if he’s in today?

Before I can allow myself to get carried away with my wondering thoughts, Michael finally finishes his boastful rant and shows me to my desk.

“Right chapman, this is your desk. You’ll be doing the majority of your administrative work here but it’s important to store any important and private documents in the file room and I expect them to be logged at the end of each shift. Understood?” Having to lock them away might be a slight problem, I need solid evidence for this case but having access to the file room could be beneficial.

“Yes sir”

“I’ll leave you to settle in and meet your colleagues, we’re happy to have you, Chapman”

“Well look who it is!” an oh-so-familiar voice averts my attention, making me turn away from my desk.

“Nick? Uh I mean Mr Folio” Addressing another boss of mine by his first name, today is just tip-top.

“What’s with the formalities Doll? Please everyone calls me Nick around here, Mr Folio sounds way too formal for my liking”. My breath hitches and I chew on my bottom lip as he calls me ‘doll’. Doll, I like the sound of that. He looks extra sexy today. Sure he looked handsome in a black tank top, but now? He’s wearing a white spear point collard dress shirt paired with navy blue suit trousers with white stripes, a brown, white dotted tie and brown leather oxfords. I can’t help but stare, the top two buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned and his sleeves are rolled up to his elbow, showing off his tanned, veiny arms. Heat flushes across my body down to my core, he’s hot. Real hot and I’m flustered. 

“Cat got your tongue, doll?” He smirks. There’s that damned nickname again.

Everything about him entices me and I know these feelings are wrong, but I just can’t help myself. I’m supposed to be working against him, spying on him and digging for info but he’s just so sweet to look at.

“Sorry just a little tired, what did you say?”

“I said I was about to go on lunch and you owe me a lunch date, care to join?” A date? I’m sure it’s just a figure of speech.

“Sure! You’ll have to pick where we go, I’m afraid I’m not familiar with the city yet” Nick quickly grabs his suit jacket and grey fedora from his desk at the back of the room and gently puts his hand on the small of my back to lead me out of the precinct. A tingle surges up my spine at the light contact, causing a slight shiver.

Nick takes me to a cute little diner about a block away. There’s a yellow and red sign that reads “Fred’s cafe & diner” and a couple of cars parked out front including a new, mint green chevrolet fleetline. Dad told me about these new cars in one of his letters, he thinks they’re an eyesore but I quite like them. 

We settle into a small booth in the corner, right by the window that overlooks the narrow street next to the diner. I’m conflicted, I’m sat across from one of the most, if not the most, handsome men I’ve ever met. His eyes are so dreamy; he’s practically eye-fucking me from across the table, looking down ever so slightly at my lips, as I make small talk about the fleetline out front, and my stomach turns to goo. I begin to wonder what what his lips taste like, how he’d look pushing me up against the wall; but it’s a fleeting thought. Stay on track Ada. A waitress takes our orders and there’s a tense silence among us.

“So doll, how are you enjoying the city so far?” I wish he’d stop calling that.

“It’s not too bad, I really miss the beach and my family but I love the livelihood here. It's a nice change” Home, I miss home. All I want is to hug Peggy and Dad but until the war is over, this is home in the meantime.

“Damn I don’t know why you’d pass up the seaside to live here of all places, but I’m glad you did” Leaning forward on his arms, he smirks.

“Really?”

“Sure, I get to look at your pretty face every day. Sounds like a nice perk to me” He winks. My cheeks turn a subtle shade of pink whilst I find myself attempting to stop a cheesy grin from spreading across my face.

“How about you? How does life here compare to Maryland?”

“Hmm It’s good, I love the job but I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the war. I used to be a detective back in Maryland but I was relocated here to help with the war effort” Sometimes I forget about the war; moments like these make me feel normal and happy as if there’s not a single care in the world. But then I read the paper and I’m brought back to reality.

“Watch’ya thinking in that pretty little head of yours?” Concern starts to grow on his face.

“I was just thinking of home and the war, you know? I miss my family and life before it all started” My heart sinks thinking about it all.

“Oh doll, we don’t know each other too well yet and I know I can’t compare to your real home, but I promise I’ll do my best to make you a home away from home. Can’t stand to see a pretty face frown.” Is this the right guy? I mean, really? This is the so-called dangerous man who’s supposed to be stealing money from the precinct? I’ve never met such a gentle, caring soul; and not to point out the obvious but, fuck he’s handsome, I wouldn’t mind feeling his hands on my hips sometime. No, no I can’t think like that. I have a job to do, I mustn’t lose my focus. My thoughts are quickly averted as Nick says my name from across the table, signalling our lunch break is almost over. Come on Ada, snap out of it. 

“Thank you, Nick. I’m sure I’ll feel right at home with you”

With you? Shit.

 I am royally fucked.

-

AN: Sorry this took so long! I was in a really long writing slump but i'm hoping to get a chapter out every two weeks (no promises). I'm really looking forward to you guys seeing what happens between Nick and ADA. Ada has very quickly become my favourite character I've ever written. Please let me know your thoughts! Again, please let me know if you'd like to be added to my tag list for this series :)

reminder my inbox is always open if you’d rather send your thoughts about this series or any of the omens members anonymously (no fic requests).

Tag List: @iknownothingpeople , @dsireland86 , @vinyardmauro , @thatchickwiththecamera , @blackveilomens

[cegiel-athelia]

Zayne’s Tranquil Heart (Tender Moments) ending rewritten

My ramblings on the story. There will of course be spoilers, so read only if you wish.

I do not know exactly when this story takes place in the present Zayne’s timeline, but I am guessing that MC and Zayne are not yet in a romantic relationship.

I honestly did not like the way the story was written. I felt that certain aspects of Zayne’s character were not properly conveyed. Also, I did not like MC being a pushover — she has always been a strong yet amiable character in the game.

Seeing as I am upset about this Tender Moment, I have rewritten the ending. Self-serving, but who cares?🤷🏼‍♀️

So this entry will read as follows:

Summary > Rant > Rewrite.

I hope that despite my evident annoyance with this story, you would at least enjoy the rewritten version.😊

====================================

Summary

Apparently, MC contracted a bad cough and she goes to Akso Hospital and sees Dr Greyson, not Dr Zayne. Greyson prescribes her medicine and advises her to admit herself, which she was not inclined to do.

By this time, Zayne had already walked by the examination room once and she hid herself. But he had seen her and returned.

He helps himself to her medical record and repeats the same medical advice Greyson gave.

So, she admits herself, much to her chagrin, but forms the intention to escape in the night, which she does and gets caught by Zayne.

Strangely, Zayne doesn’t stop her, but offers to send her home.

In his car, she asked if he was mad at her for sneaking out and he says ‘no’ in a roundabout fashion, talking about catecholamine production and whatnot.

He drives her home and she gets better after a few days.

She returns to the hospital thereafter to collect her Hunter’s Health Certificate, which I assume hunters require in order to be granted or to renew a license to hunt.

The said certificate was sent directly to the hospital and Zayne has it with him because she needs to clear her cardiac evaluation.

She goes to see him and he refuses to sign the certificate and then abruptly ends the conversation by telling her to go find another doctor, because he has to get to a meeting.

Hence, the poor girl sits indefinitely at the waiting area thinking of what to do next — planning how she has to tell Cap. Jenna that her certificate would be delayed.

She (much) later receives a text message stating that her certificate was successfully submitted. The story then ends on a happy note.

====================================

Rant

Giving Zayne the benefit of doubt that he actually had a meeting to be at, there was no reason to tell MC to go find another doctor when he is her cardiac doctor and primacy care physician. Who else could she have gone to to get the certificate signed?

Compounding matters is the fact that he had aided her in escaping the hospital. Although not a crime even in such context, it is that he thought it was fine to ‘punish’ her for it that frustrates me.

Zayne knows that her job as a hunter is important to her. By not signing the certificate, it jeopardises her career, and we already know how Zayne feels about MC working as a hunter. Given that his actions were out of concern, it was still disproportionate and uncalled for.

Even if he attempts to draw clear lines between Zayne, the individual, who aided her out of the hospital, and Zayne, the doctor, there is still a clear overlap between what is personal and what is professional because he only knew of and encouraged the action through himself as the individual, yet made himself the judge, jury and executioner.

Sorry, Zayne, I disapprove. 👎

I heard that Zayne is an ISTJ, as am I. He’s a Virgo and I’m a Capricorn (both Earth zodiacs). I usually understand him and his actions, but this one bewilders me. Too OOC for my liking even if they are painting it as if he wanted to ‘teach her a lesson’.

MC, baby girl, I dont have your patience. I would have left the hospital the moment he told me to find another doctor and I will do just that to prove my point.

Still, I admit that I have a soft spot for Zayne and I picture the reconciliation differently. So here is my rewrite of the ending of the story.

====================================

Rewrite

Wearing a stern expression, Zayne got up and proceeded to leave the office, “You should go and find another doctor. I have a meeting soon.” He did not even care to look into your eyes as he made his way towards the door.

“Fine.” You uttered defeatedly. “If that is how you want to be, I understand.” Your words bore more formality in comparison to the ones used in your usual, casual conversations with him.

He paused, retracting the hand that had reached for the doorknob. “Excuse me?” His head tilted slightly just so he could glance at you from over his shoulder.

Needing to keep your composure, you inhaled and exhaled deeply. “I am saying that, I understand if you refuse to sign my certificate.” You swiped the certificate from his desk. “I will do as you have suggested and find another doctor — one who can be reasonable.”

By this time, Zayne had turned towards you, his eyes narrowing at the biting comment.

It took a lot for you not to crumple the paper in your hand from the anger that was flaring inside as you made your way towards the exit, coming close to where Zayne stood.

“Well? Are you going to keep standing in my way?” You seethed, returning him the disrespect of not looking him in the eyes while speaking to him. “My time may not be of equal importance to yours, but it is important to me nonetheless. As is my job.”

You had slipped between him and the door, but you hesitated to turn the handle, because slowly but surely, your composure was slipping. Your lips were trembling and your vision blurring from accumulated tears.

“Y/n..” he finally spoke. You could hear him turn to face you. “I’m—”

“Look, Zayne…” You interrupted, still refusing to regard him. You did not want him to see the droplets that were rolling down your cheeks. “You have made your choice and I would be a fool to hope that you’d change it.” Your voice broke slightly. “I shall not take up any more of your time.. Dr Zayne.”

You turned the doorknob but he catches you by the wrist, and pulled you flushed into him. A surprised gasp escaped your lips.

His warmth radiated around you. You hated that just this alone could comfort you. You hated that you could not maintain your anger towards him, as much as he deserved it this time.

You found yourself burying your face against the space between his chest and shoulder. The material of his lab coat absorbed the tears on your face. His scent filling your nostrils, soothing you against your will. The stiffness in your body ebbed away like a wave drawing back from the shore.

Clutching onto his lab coat with your free hand, you mumbled in a tone that was now soft and exhausted from the fall in adrenaline, “Did you not say you had a meeting be at?” He hummed a short, wordless reply, but made no further movement.

Gingerly, you looked up and found him returning your gaze. “I’m.. sorry for my outburst.” You muttered as you pulled away from him just slightly. “I’ll be leaving now.”

Still, Zayne did not loosen his arms which were wrapped around you. His green eyes reflected the remorse that he felt from hurt that he had caused. He started, “I apologise if I made you feel as though your job was insignificant. I should have been more… mindful of your feelings.”

“You are entitled to your opinion, Dr Zayne. In any case, the fault is mine — I ought to have listened to your advice. You have every right to not endorse the certificate. It’s just…” You paused, attempting feebly to leave his hold, but he held on fast. “It’s just that I cannot understand your refusal to acknowledge your participation that night. Do I embarrass you?”

His eyes widened at your words and he sighed. “Hardly” he said softly as he gently tucked the hair behind your ear. “It seems that the manner in which I believed would instil a lesson has backfired; and I admit that I am the one to blame.”

You smiled faintly, feeling the normalcy gradually returning between the two of you. He finally freed you from his arms and graced you with a small curl of his lips.

“So…. You admit that you were my accomplice?” You broke the silence, failing to hide the mischievous grin on your face.

He sighed, bringing his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I have no intention of implicating myself.”

Folding your arms at your torso, you huffed at him. “Fine, be that way.”

Another sigh, “Hand the certificate over.”

“Hmm?” You questioned.

Without waiting for you to comprehend his words, he retrieved the document from your hand, placed it flat against the door, and in a smooth motion, he appended his signature with his pocket pen. When he was done, he turned to hand it back to you.

“Zayne.. I don’t know what to say…” You murmured in disbelief.

He closed the distance between you to affectionately pat you on your head like he usually does. “Promise that you’d obey to your doctor’s orders moving forward.”

Feeling relieved that it all worked out in the end, you gave him your brightest smile as you nodded “Mm! I promise, Dr Zayne!”

[pseudobun]

An open letter to Randy's World

Dear Randy,

I don’t know if you'll ever see this, given that I blocked you, but I know that hasn’t stopped you from seeing other people’s posts in the past. I knew you personally for a week, although I was aware of your reputation long before that. Despite trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, I must admit that I give up. You reminded me so much of my brother in certain ways, which perhaps led me to empathize with you. While I’m not going to diagnose you, it’s evident that there are some issues you’re dealing with, and I thought that with a bit of guidance and kindness, you could truly change for the better. Maybe you still can, but that kindness can no longer come from me.

I understand you’re upset that I messaged your mother on Facebook, but please remember that you told me all but her first name without any prompting. You asked me multiple times last night to meet you in real life, despite knowing my age and my clear request not to do so after the first time. I didn’t inform your mother about any allegations against you. I merely mentioned that you were sharing a lot of personal information with me unprompted, and I was worried for your safety. Because I am worried. I still am. I also brought up the pet names you sent me repeatedly after I left the first one on read, again out of concern for your safety. Not everyone has good intentions.

I like to believe I did the right thing. I like to think I was respectful and handled all interactions with you appropriately. The people I’ve consulted agree that I was only showing you basic kindness. Throughout our interactions, I made a conscious effort not to use any terms that might be considered pet names, despite my inclination towards Southern hospitality. For my efforts, I was left questioning whether I was wrong to message you with basic kindness. I was so distressed by the idea of accidentally grooming a child that I was physically ill after logging off for the night.

As I mentioned to your mother, I have siblings your age. I’d be horrified to receive a message like the one your mother received. My hope was that she would take action to prevent you from being on a site like this, given that you aren’t fully aware of the potential ramifications of your actions. Unfortunately, it seems that wasn’t the outcome.

I truly wish I could have helped you, Randy. But I have to consider how things appear, regardless of my intentions. I am almost a decade older than you, and I cannot allow you to continue messaging me in the way you did last night (such as asking me to take you to Washington and using pet names right before I logged off). Regardless of my intentions, you were choosing to misinterpret them, which puts me in a difficult position. I’m sorry, and I hope you are able to grow and find the help you need.

Sincerely,

Stevie "Evie" G.

[flagellant]

king being Indigenous doesn’t exempt you from the racist assumption that a member of the occupation single-handedly controlled and changed an extremely old industry that would not have fallen so easily.

Oh okay this was much tamer than I assumed phew.

1. Don't fucking call me king, thanks.

2. Forgive me if I'm making a wrong assumption but I'm going to guess you must be the person I have blocked, yes? I really don't want to name you because I don't really enjoy using my follower base as a pack of hounds, and you deserve that privacy.

However, I deserve your fucking respect, and when I've given countless different sources, spoken and confirmed with numerous people living in Japan, am getting in touch with people whose literal entire career is soy bean innovation and agricultural historic documentations and there is literally not a single source that does not explicitly confirm "Blanche Appleton was one woman hired by GHQ-SCAP and she did in fact have singular control over this industry at the time", I'm getting sick of you. I've linked you to some of my sources. It isn't my fault you don't read them.

I would really appreciate you not call me racist on baseless assumptions that you are making. It isn't me that's ignoring reality and history to tell a narrative. It's you. I cordially invite you to look at the sources I've sent and either apologize or shut the fuck up and never come at my face again. I try very hard to be patient where I shouldn't have to be, and you've pushed me to where I won't be patient anymore and give you the benefit of the doubt nor the respect of privacy.

If you try and start shit with me and continue this harassment despite being blocked by me, respectfully, and with complete sincerity, I really hope for your sake you shut the fuck up, stop your shit, and don't.

[badaziraphaletakes]

I stumbled across a post from August last year that made me uncomfortable. I'll include a screenshot, and I can provide a link if need be (for context, comments, seeing if maybe I got something wrong or didn't scroll down far enough to see if they apologised). It's just that I don't want to point fingers at people, only at bad takes. Apologies if this has been sent to you already.

Now I'm not sure if this refers merely to the "naked man friend" situation, but the date and the comments about "cheating on Crowley with God" imply that it's also about the Final Fifteen. I've tried to wreck my brain for other, less offensive interpretations, but I can't come up with one, but I do want to give op the benefit of a doubt. Either way I think it's completely contrary to how Neil and Terry told the story so far, and how they characterised Crowley and Aziraphale.

Thanks for your amazing work, it really heals something in me!

Agreed - this one made me uncomfortable too!

Sincerely hoping people don't actually want this to be Crowley's attitude towards Aziraphale. I don't think it will be. He knows how traumatized Aziraphale has always been by heaven (see: the end of the Job episode).

Aw, thank you so much! I am so glad to hear that! It's been healing for me working on this blog!

-Mod X

[dalchiid]

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 37

A story of obsession, fear, and lust. You're a maid whose Masters forbid you in meeting their guests for the night but your luck runs dry when you run into them and catch the attention of Lord Hoseok himself. He's smitten from the beginning and thus, your fate has been decided.

Pairing: Yandere Vampire Hoseok x Fem/AFAB Reader

Word Count: 7,076

Warnings: 18+, Yandere, Obsession, Possessive, Angst, Fear, Blood, Biting, Dub-Con, Eventual smut

Will add or remove warnings based on what's in each chapter.

I do not condone the behavior being exhibited in my work. This is solely for entertainment purposes and I hope if any of you are ever in a situation like this that you have the chance and ability to run away from it. Take care out there.

DO NOT copy, edit, or repost my work anywhere.

Chapter 37 Warnings: Yandere, Possessive, Obsession

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When Hoseok reads the letter your heart is in your stomach. He clearly looks annoyed but you hold onto hope that Namjoon is right and that Hoseok will accept what you've given him. You think he reads it a second or even third time because of how long he's taking. It makes you bite your bottom lip in worry. When finally he sighs and brings the letter down onto the desk in his study he brought you into your ears and brows perk up waiting for an answer.

"Well," you ask. "How is it?"

Hoseok sighs again. He still looks annoyed. Bringing a hand up to his eyes where he rubs them harshly with his fingers.

"Fine," he grumbles.

You hum questioningly. "Fine?"

"Yes fine, Y/N."

Your lips purse because he sounds the least bit fine about it.

"If it's fine then why do you sound mad?"

"Because I am mad."

You visibly deflate before him.

You don't need to ask him why he's mad because you know but it doesn't stop him from complaining.

"I told you Hyun-Woo is fine. I don't know why you need to do this."

You frown his way and he can sense it because he mumbles a "Don't look at me like that" under his breath.

"Hyun-Woo isn't fine. It doesn't matter how many times you say it and I want to do this so that he can get better."

Hoseok twists his neck in agitation but when he looks at you his expression softens.

"The things I do for you."

You lick your lips. "So it's okay? Will you send the letter?"

He sighs with a subtle roll to his eyes. "Yeah I'll send it but that's it. Don't get ahead of yourself and think that I'll allow you to see him in the long run."

You figured that much by yourself so you nod with a small "Okay."

The two of you are alone together after Hoseok went and fetched you from his brother. You recall Namjoon giving you a reassuring smile when you hesitated to leave. It's what kept you going so far and now that Hoseok approved of the letter you feel like some weight was lifted off of your shoulders.

"So when can we send it," you ask.

"It'll be sent."

Your face drops as that weight that had been lifted comes to rest upon you again.

"Hoseok."

"It'll be sent. Don't worry."

That's the thing. You can't help but worry. He says the letter will be sent but how can you be so sure about that? He can easily lie to you and say it's been sent when in actuality it wasn't.

He seems to sense your worry because in a big show of exasperation he opens his drawer and fishes out an envelope and a stamp. He folds and slips the letter into the envelope and grabs his pen where he begins to scribble the information needed on the front. You watch him as he stamps the top right once he's done writing and brings the envelope up to shake it into your face.

"See? Done." He slaps it back down onto the table. "I'll have it sent out tomorrow. Happy?"

You nibble your bottom lip.

"Stop that." His words are soft as he pries the petal that makes up your lip from between your teeth. "I promise I'll have it sent tomorrow. Now, no more worrying."

You don't know if you can fully trust him, as per usual, but you'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

Hoseok leans himself against the desk before grabbing you to draw you into his arms.

"How was your time with Namjoon? Did you do anymore reading?"

No you didn't. You spent the time in his arms talking about your life. He wanted to know more about your past and you told him as much as you could. You told him that most of your life was spent catering to the Baeks. You had no real childhood and how you have no family. He looked concerned but you laughed it off and told him that you were fine.

Much like Hoseok he asked if you wanted to learn about your family. That if you wanted he could have a detective sent to find out about your parents but you told him no. You were okay with not knowing who your family is because you had a found family with the head of servants. Ji-Woon was all you needed even though he didn't treat you much like a daughter. He was your boss but he cared for you and you cared for him.

Namjoon asked if you missed him and you admitted that you did. You wonder what he's up to but you imagine he must be doing just fine.

The rest of the time was with you finding out about Namjoon's childhood. He's always been close with his brothers. His mother tried making his upbringing as normal as possible despite his father. The other mothers were just as kind to him, he said. All the mothers were nice to the other children but they, of course, held their own in high regards. Unlike Jimin and Jungkook's moms though Namjoon's could be strict. She wanted the best for him but she never spoiled him. She wanted him to learn how to correct his mistakes and to learn from them. He admits he's been far from being a perfect child but he tries his best. It made you smile.

Your silence goes on for a little longer than it should and Hoseok pulls back a little to look at you.

"Y/N?"

You hum questioningly.

"I asked how your time with Namjoon went."

"Oh! Oh it was fine. We just talked for a bit. Not much else."

"About?"

You shrug. "About our lives. He learned about my childhood and I learned about his."

He squeezes you tight with a hum.

"You know I can always get that search for your parents going."

You shake your head. "I'm just fine without them."

Your response makes him hum again.

For others they might want to know more about their parents but not you. It's not something you want to break your head over. They may or may not have had reasons leaving you behind but to you it doesn't matter. You wish Hoseok and Namjoon would see that.

Hoseok breaks the hug apart so he can look down at the letter. He purses his lips before picking it up to look at the front and back. He has a frown on his face but he switches it for a pout.

Looking back up at you he places the envelope back down before tapping it twice.

"I'll have the letter sent out. For now though let's focus on something else."

"Okay." It's all you can say before Hoseok leads you out of the study.

By the time Hoseok had fetched you it had gotten dark out. The vampires are free to roam everywhere around them without sitting under the sun.The curtains are open to show the way both the front and back of the house is lit by lights. Around this time you would be getting ready to call it a night but ever since you came here it's been different. Now you're accustomed to being up the whole night. Until the early morning sun changes the hues of the sky - it's when you would find yourself falling asleep. It's no different now but you're surprised to see when Hoseok yawns.

"Tired," you ask.

He nods his head. "There was a lot that needed to be done today. My brain feels like it's on fire." He gives a pained expression. "Think I'm getting a headache."

"Don't you have anything for that?"

"I do but I think I'll be fine." He turns to you with a smile. "So what do you want to do?"

You look off to the side as he brings you two to a stop in the hallway. You're near the playroom and you think about searching for something in there but then you recall what happened to you the last time you were in there. It sends a shiver up your spine and you decide that's the last place you want to be right now.

"I don't know honestly."

Hoseok hums before grabbing your hand and bringing it up to his lips. "We're free to do whatever you want."

You purse your lips as you think.

Normally by now, with Hoseok, you would spend time in his room or the garden. You feel like doing something different with him though. Not for his sake but your own. You're always locked up in the house but you doubt he'd want to go outside at this time. To do what? You're not entirely sure. You just know you want to do something outside of the norm.

"You're thinking really hard."

You grunt. "Trying to think about what to do."

"You know we don't have to do anything. We can just relax."

Looking up at him you can see he's looking a little tired and it's dawning upon you that he might not want to do anything. You guess it wouldn't hurt to rest.

"We can just rest for now."

His brows draw together in concern. "You don't want to do anything?"

"You look tired."

"Still. If there's something you want to do we can go do it."

He's so persistent it almost makes your eyes roll.

"Hoseok, you're tired and you have a headache. Let's just rest. There's always tomorrow."

Like a weight being lifted off his shoulders, his body sags.

"Are you sure?"

You give him a deadpan look to which he smiles.

"Then let's head to our room then. I want to change out of these clothes."

Hoseok looks grateful to you and you don't know how that makes you feel. You only decided on a night in because if it were you feeling the way he does you wouldn't want to do anything. You may not like him but you're not an asshole. You'll let him rest.

The rest of the way through the house is quiet but he keeps his body close to yours. Your arms rub up against each other and you feel the way his fingers brush up against your own. It tickles a little and you itch to pull it away so you can avoid his tender touch but you don't. It's odd why you don't but you try to keep your irritation down to a simmer. You remind yourself that you promised him you wouldn't be as aggressive with him anymore and you, admittedly, kind of regret that. But you know that if you want to make your time here go as smooth sailing as possible you need to keep the promise. Do what you have to do so that when the time comes you can leave without him suspecting a thing.

If you're always pushing against him he'll limit your chances of freedom. So you know you have to play along and play along well.

When you reach his room he lets you in before following after you. You hear the way his feet drag on the floor and when you look at him there's a grimace on his face. It brings you to a pause as he walks around you to head to the closet.

He doesn't seem like his usual self and you don't know how it makes you feel.

"I'll grab our pajamas. Think you can get the headache pills I have under the bathroom sink?"

Oh right. You forgot he has a headache. His voice is low as he speaks and the grimace is maintained as he shuffles around. He squint his eyes when he turns the lights on and you figure this might be more than just a headache.

You walk into the closet after him and tap his shoulder. He whips his head around to face you but you can tell he instantly regrets it because he winces and places a hand to the side of his head.

"Are you sure it's just a headache," you ask.

He nods his head. "Pretty sure."

"Do you feel nauseous?"

Licking his lips he goes back to grabbing your pajamas. "A little but it's nothing bad."

"Hoseok," you start. "I think you're having a migraine."

He sighs. "Maybe, maybe not. I'm sure I'll be fine."

You shake your head even though his back is turned towards you. "Pills for headaches won't be enough for that. You'll need something stronger."

Hoseok turns and hands you your clothes before he begins to slip his clothes off in front of you.

"I don't have anything stronger." His words are muffled by his shirt but you hear him all the same.

"Then wait here."

"Where are you going?"

You don't answer him as you slip out of the room in search for a maid. No one is around this side of the hall so you have to walk pretty far. You're back near the stairs and from up top you see two maids talking to each other at the bottom.

"Excuse me," you say but they're too absorbed in what they're talking about so you speak a little louder. "Excuse me!"

The two maids look up at you and bow. It makes you cringe because you're not used to being the one being waited upon.

"What can we do for you, Lady Y/N?"

You bite your bottom lip for a second of nervousness. You don't know why you feel so nervous. Maybe it has to do with the fact that you don't know what the help thinks of you. Do they like you or not? Do they just tolerate you because you're with Hoseok? Their eyes and ears are everywhere. Do they see you with Namjoon? What do they think of that? Did the news spread around about what happened to you after the incident with Jimin? Back at home every single one of the help would have been known. You figure it must not be that much different here. People love to talk.

"My Lady?"

You snap out of it and stutter. "O-Oh um, I just wanted to send for someone to bring up some water and any medication for migraines. Hoseok needs it."

The two women bow at you before straightening up. "We'll have it sent up. Don't worry."

You nod at them before heading back to Hoseok's room where you find him sitting on the bed with his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands.

"Where did you go," he mumbles.

You give him a onceover before changing your clothes.

"I went and had some maids find you something for your migraine. They'll have it brought up in a bit."

He hums.

After you change you head towards him. Staring at him you realize how vulnerable he looks. You've never seen him like this. It's a bit unnerving. You've taken care of Hyun-Woo once or twice before when he would get like this. You know what to do but to do it with Hoseok? To take care of your captor? Life really likes making you the brunt end of a joke.

You sigh and jut your hip out as you stare at him. Despite not really wanting to the innate need to care for someone who is sick or injured kicks in. So you straighten up and rest your hands on Hoseok's shoulders.

"Come on. Let's lie you down."

Without question he lets you maneuver him around until he's slipped under the covers. You go to turn the lamp on your side on before turning off the ceiling light. The less light there is the better.

Hoseok groans as he tries to rest his head comfortably on his pillow. You can't tell if it's out of pain, pleasure or an odd mix of the two.

You slip under the sheets to join him but stay perched on your elbow so that you're hovering near him. Your body blocks the bedside lamp and the frown that marred his face begins to soften.

It's nothing but silence as you look at him.

He looks so innocent like this. Eyes closed with the occasional scrunch of his nose or brows. He looks like he could never hurt anybody. Instead he's the one in pain and you're looking down at him devoid of all emotion. You have the brief thought of smothering him with a pillow but you actually find yourself hating that idea. Even though he deserves it. You're not going to start thinking why that idea bothers you because you're too afraid of what the answer will be. You don't think it's because you care for him per say. Still you don't want to think about it.

There's a soft knock on the door and you welcome them in. One of the maids from before comes in with a bottle of water and pills that rattle in her other hand.

"Here are the things you asked for, my Lady." She hands them to you with a smile. "Is there anything else that you need?"

You shake your head. "No that will be all. Thank you."

She bows to you before slipping out of the room leaving you and Hoseok alone again.

You turn back to the man who has altered your life completely before reading the back of the bottle. You see that it says to take two pills so you shake them out of the bottle and open the bottle of water.

"Hoseok," you say.

He doesn't answer at first and you think he might have fallen asleep.

"Hoseok." Your voice is more firm and this time he answers you.

"What?"

"Here. Take these. It should help with the migraine."

He doesn't open his eyes at first but when he does he frowns. He sits up a little and for some reason or another you bring the pills up to his lips. Hoseok looks up at you with wide eyes that seem to shine in the dim light. Your eyes widen as well and you're about to pull your hand back but Hoseok's lips part to let you slip the pills in.

With a bit of hesitation you drop the pills in his awaiting mouth and hand over the water. He takes it and drinks everything down until all that's left are his wet lips and a half empty bottle.

"Good," you ask.

He nods his head before handing the bottle back to you to close and place on your nightstand. When you turn back around you see that he lies on his side facing you. His eyes ache to keep open but when your body blocks the bedside lamp from him again he closes them without a wince.

Hoseok sighs. "Sorry."

Your brow raises in question. "For?"

"For getting like this. I wanted to spend some time with you but then this happened."

Your face goes blank before him but his eyes aren't open to see. As much as you would have liked to leave the house you know he had no control over this situation. It's not his fault...

You never thought you would say a sentence like that. It's not his fault. There are a lot of things he has fault in but not this. You can be petty but not so petty to hold his health against him so you just sigh.

"It's not your fault. Things like this just happen."

Without thinking your hand comes up to push his hair out of the way. It freezes for a moment near his forehead and you question yourself why you're doing this. You just figure that maybe it's because when you get like this there are certain things you'd like to be done for you. To be doted upon. It still doesn't explain why you're doing it to Hoseok of all people, but you try not to think about it. You just do as is without question.

Your fingers slip into his hair where you spread the soft strands apart. He doesn't have any wax in it to keep it swooped off his forehead like he normally would so it doesn't feel tacky. Hoseok sighs at your touch but you ignore it as you continue to brush his hair back and scrape your nails across his scalp the way he would do to you.

You're doing this because it's what you would have done to Hyun-Woo, you think to yourself. It's what he would have liked and you're just a caring person. That's all.

Hoseok sighs in comfort at your gentle touch. You wonder what he must be thinking but you think you'd rather not know. Some things are better left off in the dark but it seems like you won't be given that peace.

"I love you. You know that?"

Your hand pauses in its movements as Hoseok's eyes open to look up at you. There's adoration in them and it's all directed to the object of all his desires. You. It bears so much weight that you have to look away to try and ease your discomfort but even then it's still too much.

"Hey."

Hesitantly you turn to look back at him to see him give a pained smile.

"Thank you. For everything." His eyes close then before he moves his head against your fingers to encourage you to continue where you left off.

Your lips pout in thought.

You don't know how to accept his feelings. It feels like too much. After the reality of it all how can he say these things to you? It's unthinkable yet it comes so easily to him. In all honesty it worries you because when the time comes for you to leave, you can scarcely imagine the man he'll become when you're gone. It doesn't just worry you. It scares you. And with you running your fingers through his hair in comfort - you're not helping the situation. You're just making things worse and making him fall even more deeper in love with you, but right now you'll just let things be as they be. You'll worry about everything when the time comes. For now you just wait until his breathing evens out, until you call his name and he doesn't respond because he's fast asleep. You wait until then to turn so you can turn off your light and lie down completely in bed where you grab your phone and hold it close before unlocking it.

Hoseok is completely knocked out so you don't even think twice when it comes to opening up your text messages and sending one out to Namjoon and the other to Yoongi.

To Namjoon:

You: Hoseok is asleep.

To Yoongi:

You: What makes you love Hoseok? Besides the fact that he's your brother.

You wait a little bit until your phone vibrates and you see that you get a response from both men almost immediately.

Namjoon: Everything okay?

Yoongi: That's a loaded question.

You purse your lips to avoid biting your bottom lip raw. You're feeling a little bit of everything. A little bit of anxiety and a little bit of sadness. It's leaving you feeling just a tad bit confused.

To Namjoon:

You: Yeah it's just... I don't know. I guess it's just that I miss you.

To Yoongi:

You: Sorry. You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

Yoongi's answer doesn't come as quick but Namjoon's does.

Namjoon: I miss you too, princess.

You smile.

Namjoon: What did Hoseok say about the letter?

You: He approved of it. He said he'll have it sent out tomorrow.

Namjoon: I'm relieved to know. I'll make sure he sends it out otherwise he'll seemingly forget if you know what I mean.

You do know and you're thankful Namjoon will see this letter issue through. When you're about to send your thanks the phone vibrates with a message from Yoongi.

Yoongi: I have an idea as to why you asked and I don't mind answering...

Yoongi: Despite his shortcomings Hoseok has a lot of love to give. Even if he's hurting he'll always love. He's a breath of fresh air and he's what I call my battery.

Yoongi: He energizes me. Keeps me going with his positivity. He honestly inspires me a lot.

Yoongi: Like I said I have an idea as to why you asked me this. I can't tell you what to do or how to feel but if you were to ever give him a chance you'll see what I mean. Again I can't tell you how to feel. You've been through something I can't imagine to be fun. He's taken a lot from you I'm sure but yeah...

Angling the phone's screen towards Hoseok, you use the light to see his face. He's completely knocked out and you see how utterly peaceful he looks.

You think of Yoongi's words and how it can apply to you. You don't think you could ever give Hoseok a chance. Not in a million years. There are too many things that he's done wrong. Once upon a time things were okay but they're not now. He ruined that not you and now you're left with broken trust. It's sad when you think about it but it's the reality that you're living.

It's hard to think of a response back so you leave him on read. Namjoon too. You take the chance instead to delete all the texts just in case Hoseok goes to read them. Your privacy is not safe with him around.

You flip onto your other side and wonder what you should do now. You're not tired at all and there's nothing to do. Are you expected to stay locked up in here because Hoseok is asleep? You think on that until a thought springs up in your mind.

You could leave, right? Maybe leave and do something then come back before Hoseok can wake up. It's risky but you're bored.

Turning your head his way you shine the light from your phone's screen on him.

He's definitely knocked out. You think about shaking him a little - calling his name to make sure but you don't want to accidentally wake him.

If you're going to leave you figure that now would be the time to do it. It takes an immense amount of courage to get you to stand up and even more to get you to the door. Your hands are shaking and you don't know why. It's not like you're making your escape now... Should you do that? Everyone is awake now. It'll be too risky so you think not but how far can you push before someone notices?

Licking your lips you turn the doorknob and slip out into the hall where you close the door softly behind you. The next move is to walk away and it takes you a couple of seconds before you find the will to do so. Your heart is beating a mile a minute but you remind yourself this isn't you trying to escape. It's just you're looking for something to do to keep you entertained. That's it. Where will you go? You're not sure but you know it's far from Hoseok.

You're power walking through the hall and your eyes are everywhere. Your grip on your phone is tight as you nibble your bottom lip. Any maid that you come across ignores you but you know you're not safe. Any one of them can easily sell you out to their Lords and it makes your heart hammer faster and harder. You can feel your heart beat in your throat and it makes it hard to swallow. When you reach the stairs you hesitate.

You look down them towards the entrance door. You're so close. Could you possibly try and slip out just to see the area around you? It's just a test to see how security is at this time.

You nod to yourself. Yes, that's it. It's just to see.

"You seem nervous."

You jump at the sound of a voice behind you. When you turn to see who it is you freeze when you notice it's Taehyung. He is expressionless but you can only imagine what he must be thinking.

"Where's Hoseok?"

Licking your lips you make a lame attempt at stretching your hand out towards the direction that you came from.

"He's asleep."

Taehyung's brow raises in interest. "So I'm assuming he doesn't know that you're making a little escape right now."

The anxiety within you turns into flames and you react in irritation.

"I wasn't trying to escape. I'm just bored."

"You're bored?"

"Yes." You can barely believe yourself but you'll go with it.

He doesn't seem to believe you but after a second his other brow raises and he gives a small pout.

"Whatever you say."

You release the tension in your body before rolling your eyes.

You weren't exactly planning on leaving but Taehyung doesn't need to know the specifics. Instead you cross your arms and shift your weight onto one leg. He eyes your new stance but you know he's listening in to your heart that's rattling in its cage. He can easily call you out on it but instead he angles his head before looking off down the stairs.

"Come with me."

Your brows furrow as you frown. "What?"

Taehyung starts his descent down the stairs without you but he pauses for a moment to look up at you.

"I said come with me. You're bored and so am I." He turns his back towards you and continues down.

You're left feeling just a tad bit confused but you follow after him anyway. You could have said no to him but you feel like he wasn't really giving you an option here. He caught you acting suspicious. It's your fault and now you have to deal with the consequences.

You huff out a sigh that you know he heard but he says nothing about it.

He doesn't stop moving when you both reach the bottom of the stairs. He keeps going until you both enter the kitchen and he goes in search of something.

You're standing by the door as he digs through the pantry in the far off corner. The kitchen is empty but spotless. You can smell a faint scent of a type of cleanser used to clean everything up and whatever mess there once was after dinner is no more.

"Y/N."

You're pulled out of your thoughts when Taehyung peeks his head out to wave you over. You're hesitant at first but walk towards the pantry where you see he already has two bags of chips in his hands.

"Here."

He pushes them into your chest where you hold them close before he gathers some other snacks. It confuses you on why he keeps grabbing things and you question him on why so many snacks.

"Jungkook is waiting in the playroom. They're mostly for him."

Your heart skips a beat and the anxiety from before comes back. It catches his attention because he turns around and towers over you with a raised brow.

"Your heart beat is accelerating. Why?"

Looking off in discomfort you squeeze the bag of chips closer to you. "Jungkook doesn't like me."

Taehyung huffs a deep laugh that catches you off guard.

"Jungkook doesn't like a lot of people. Who cares?"

Your cheeks grow warm in mild embarrassment. "It's just... Wouldn't he get mad if he finds out you brought me along?"

The vampire before you rolls his eyes. "He may not like people but he's not an asshole so he'll get over it."

Licking your lips you look down at your full arms.

Is Taehyung right? Jungkook is hard to read but you know, despite what others like Namjoon says, he absolutely despises you. Otherwise he wouldn't talk about or to you like you're scum.

"If you're done feeling sorry for yourself you can help me grab some drinks."

His comment just makes your cheeks grow warmer. You can't help but frown in his direction but you'll keep quiet. The last thing you want to deal with is one of Hoseok's brothers with an attitude. Especially when that brother is Taehyung. He definitely scares you the most.

After grabbing everything the two of you head towards the playroom. He doesn't say anything else to you but you know he can hear the way your heart beats. It's not regulating. Just constant thump, thump, thumps that don't seem to want to calm down. It makes you swallow deeply and hold the drinks and snacks tighter to you. It's frustrating to feel this way and you're about to back out on this hangout but something happens. Something changes and you're suddenly feeling calm. You don't think you've ever felt this calm before. Like all your problems are gone and you have nothing to worry about. You would go along with it but it makes you feel just a tad bit suspicious. What's going on?

"Better," Taehyung asks.

You look up at him with a tilt to your head.

He can tell you're a lot calmer now. When he looks at you he gives you a knowing look and you can't help but ask "How?"

He shrugs. "Don't worry about it. Just try to keep calm, yeah?"

It strikes you then that just maybe Taehyung has something to do with this. Can he control your emotions? That... that's amazing, you think. You want to ask him more about it but he seems done and walks past you into the playroom.

When you step in you see Jungkook sitting on the couch staring at his phone. He doesn't look up at you but you know he knows you're here.

Taehyung drops everything he has on the desk in the corner where all the PCs are at then turns to you with open arms. You walk over to him to give him everything and it's at that point does Jungkook stand up to join you.

"What are we playing today?"

Jungkook shrugs. "I don't care."

"PUBG?"

"I don't care."

Taehyung huffs. "PUBG it is." He turns to you. "Do you know how to play?"

You shake your head. "No. I'm okay with watching though."

"That's no fun." He pouts and it's the first time you can say he looks cute.

He doesn't look scary for once. It's a welcome change.

"Trust me it's fine. I don't know how to play games."

"You were playing something back at the Baek's."

Your attention snaps over to Jungkook who spoke up. Your eyes widen a bit. You didn't expect him to remember that. That was back when you were having the withdrawals and he was mostly there to play something himself.

"Oh," you start. "But that doesn't mean I'm any good."

There's a subtle roll to his eyes. "Whatever you say." He heads over to a PC and sits down to start things up. "Ready whenever you are, Tae."

Taehyung looks between his brother and you with a raised brow. He looks like he wants to know more but there's nothing else to say about the situation.

"You can watch me play," he says.

He sits down and motions for you to sit next to him. You do and watch as he turns everything on and signs into his account.

"Do you at least know what the game is about?"

You nod your head.

"Do you?" He looks interested to know.

"Yeah. I watch people play video games so I know." You shrug.

"Why just watch when you can play too?"

"I didn't have time to play. I've only ever worked."

"That sounds sad."

"It sounds pathetic." Jungkook chimes in and it makes Taehyung laugh.

Unlike Taehyung neither you nor Jungkook laughs. For obviously different reasons. Him because he could care less and you because you didn't find it funny, but you try and ignore him.

The two brothers load up the game and put on their headphones. Taehyung adjusts the volume so he can continue talking to you much to your surprise. He's going over the basics of the game and what you should or shouldn't do.

"Don't hesitate. Hesitation is the killer of games like this."

"I figure," you say.

"Have you seen anybody play battle royale games?"

You nod but then you realize he couldn't see since his eyes are on the screen. "I have. Mostly Eternal Return: Black Survival. Have you heard of that game?"

"I have actually." He smiles. "Seokjin loves that game. He's been trying to get us to play that with him."

The light hearted conversation with Taehyung makes you smile. You never thought that both you and Taehyung would talk so easily like this. You thought he hated you as much as Jungkook. The idea of it all actually makes you hesitate because you remember Jimin. He annoyed the hell out of you and you thought things were going okay between you for once until he pulled the rug right out from under your feet.

Your switch in attitude goes unnoticed but you try to ignore it for your sake more than anything.

The match in the game starts and you watch as Taehyung makes his way through and grabs everything he can to try and survive. Jungkook appears on the screen a few minutes after and the two of them talk as they play. You keep an eye out for any opponents but before you can even spot them the brothers do and take them down. It amazes you how fast their reflexes are.

"I think there's someone behind the hill there." Taehyung says.

"I see him."

Jungkook takes him out quickly and takes the bike the opponent had. The brothers work well together and you're so into what's happening that you don't notice your phone going off. It's vibrating on the table and it takes Taehyung giving you a quick look to notice anything.

"What," you ask.

"Your phone is vibrating."

You hum questioningly and grab the device. When you do you see the call has ended and that you have two missed calls from Hoseok. It starts to ring again and you're quick to pick it up.

Before you can even says hello his panicked voice speaks up.

"Where are you?"

"Oh um, I'm downstairs with your brothers."

"What?"

You can hear the sound of rustling sheets as he goes to sit up.

"Which ones?"

You don't know why it matters unless he's worried one of them is Jimin.

"Taehyung and Jungkook."

"Oh." There's a pause. "I'm coming to get you."

You suck your teeth and pout. The sound catches Taehyung's attention. He looks between you and the phone and motions with his chin. You look at him to ask him what was up when he speaks.

"Let me talk to him."

At that moment his character is gunned down and Jungkook whines.

"Taehyung."

"Give me a minute, yeah?" He takes his headphones off and takes your phone from you. "Hoseok. Yeah. Y/N is with me... I invited her. It's okay."

He continues to talk to his older brother as you watch the screen. Jungkook is trying to revive him but he's swiftly gunned down as well and they only make it to 15th place. It makes Jungkook tsk but he doesn't say a word. Instead he grabs a bag of chips and pops it open to eat.

"You're more than welcome to if you want. Okay then. Suit yourself." Taehyung hangs up your phone and hands it back to you.

You look down at the device before looking back up at him.

"What did he say?"

"He'll be joining us shortly."

"Oh." You can't help the way you sound. Like you're disappointed and you are.

To this Taehyung huffs a laugh. "He didn't say you have to leave so you're welcome to stay and maybe play a game with us now that you know what to expect."

Your eyes widen a fraction as your heart skips a beat. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

Taehyung looks at you confused for a moment before he shrugs. "I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. Why? Should I not?"

Your eyes trail over his face as you think.

He doesn't have to do this you realize. He can still be the cold Taehyung he was before but for some reason he's changed his mind about you. You don't know how that makes you feel to be honest. You definitely prefer this version of him that's for sure and if he's giving you a chance that means you have one less person in this household that dislikes you. That's not to say that you actually believe he likes you but that you've become tolerable to him.

"Y/N?"

You snap to attention at the call of your name. Taehyung is waiting for an answer.

"Can I trust you?"

No, you don't think he should because you have every right to get the hell out of here and break his brother's heart. He doesn't need to know that though. Not for now at least.

You nod your head. "Yeah. Yeah you can."

He smiles at you. It barely reaches his eyes but he smiles nonetheless.

He grabs a bag of chips and hands it to you to which you grab it with a barely there smile of your own. Like a peace offering you guess and you accept it.

Taehyung starts talking to Jungkook and promises him he'll play better. The youngest only shrugs but you know he's holding his brother to that promise.

You oftentimes forget these men are actually related to each other. The way they treat you is a stark difference to how they treat each other. There's love and acceptance. Happiness and little spats that get resolved within the minute they happen. It's a little bizarre to you. One, because you don't have a family and never experienced this and two, Hyun-Woo and his brothers never treated each other like this. They are triplets. You would think they got along with each other better but they don't.

It's a bit odd seeing them treat each other with love but it's not bad. Would you ever miss this? Could you ever? You don't know to be honest.

You don't know.

[shalomniscient]

Hello! I wanted to to write you a dm but those are closed but I think that post you made today was perhaps about me (if we‘re talking about the f1 racer arle „idea“) but that was a total oversight on my part. I wanna clarify that I‘m NOT a minor, I’m 19 years old, I’ll even send you a photo of my passport if have to😭🙏🏼 I’m really really really sorry if I made you uncomfortable, feel free to block me if that’s the case! I just sent it anonymous because I‘m shy about my own ideas and what others may think of them but I completely forgot that you won’t be able to see my age like that. Again, I am REALLY sorry I hope you can forgive me😞 (I‘m gonna be honest I have tears in my eyes rn because I feel so bad)

NO NO ABSOLUTELY NOT IT WAS NOT ABOUT YOU MY FELLOW F1 ENJOYER I ASSURE YOU !!! my age rule only applies to people who come in my inbox off anon because i can actually check for myself. on anon, i’m giving them entirely the benefit of the doubt. a few hours ago someone disregarded the guidelines i’ve written in my pinned post about asks off anon, which is why i made the post. but you’re good! and i like your f1 idea very much! feel free to send more stuff about it into my inbox <3

[seabirdtxt]

Hi, I’m Bird. welcome to my sideblog! i hope you have a good time :) thanks for reading! 🩵

Ask box is: On hold

WIP tracker

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Rules & TOS:

- I am using this blog as a place to put my self-indulgent fandom fics. i don't proofread or beta my stuff so if i make typos no i didn't 🫡

- blank blogs please do not +follow! i will assume you are a bot and block/softblock you. You can remain empty/anon as long as you have some profile customization and maybe a post/reblog or two

- you can send asks/requests and i'll tackle 'em asap but please don't expect too much of the social aspect from me, i struggle with socialization like a feral cat

- i write reader fics. this means: gender neutral, no physical description/indicators, no gender-biased nicknames clothes or scenarios, you/yours and they/them pronouns only.

- do not call my Reader she/her, or any fem-aligned nicknames. im dead serious, this is a ‘block on sight’ thing, it kicks up my dysphoria and it's the same reason i won't read fem!reader fics. i won't block for the first time, but if you commented on something or sent an ask/request and I deleted/didn't respond, this is probably why. I'm giving y'all the benefit of the doubt that maybe you didn't check my page first though! but continued behavior will earn a block .

- i’m not holding a taglist atm, you either perceive me or don't. (if i ever write smth longer that warrants a taglist i’ll be sure to mention it!)

- no bigotry or discrimination allowed, please use your good judgement when consuming media, etc. there will be no bitchin in my kitchen!

- no reposting, copying, or heavily referencing! plaigarism is the 8th cardinal sin 😊 yes this includes feeding my writing to AI. don't do it.

- re: above ^ making stuff inspired by/expanding on concepts is totally fine though! i'm inviting everyone to come play in my sandbox :3c if you do, please tag me! i'd love to see and rb from you 🥰 (AI is still 100% off the table though)

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Request Rules:

currently in genshin/sagau fandom so mostly stick to those themes please! (and do let me know if you want canon or other AU settings! otherwise i'll assume sagau)

i won't do crossovers sorry! i'm not too knowledgeable on many other media or fandoms and i'd rather not butcher something im not familiar with!

willing to write both platonic and romantic! (specific character romance with the male characters only, sorry, but platonic is free game!)

i write kinda slow tbh, so please don't send me anything that is time sensitive or has a deadline bc i probably won't make it in time :')

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General Tags:

Writing -> #seabird.txt

Doodles -> #seabird.png

Asks/replies -> #seabird.inbox

Personal -> #seabird.exe

Reblogs -> #seabird.rb

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Masterlist below the cut:

Glitch in Irminsul AU

SAGAU setting, where the Irminsul tree behaves like a GIT repository, and the Creator's arrival accidentally merged old branches into the current data.

Blog Tag - [p1] [p2] [p3] [p4] [p5]

[hc1]

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Bloodletting AU

SAGAU cult au, the Creator descends to Teyvat with no obvious godly powers and is rejected by the acolytes, until it's discovered that their golden blood has strength-enhancing properties.

Blog Tag - [p1] [p2]

[rb1] [rb2]

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Voice of God AU

SAGAU cult au, set pre-isekai. The Shouki no Kami is powered up and connected to Scaramouche, who then experiences a sudden jarring connection to the Creator.

Blog Tag - [p1] [p2] [p3]

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Wish Upon series

Stardust AU, canon setting. Wanderer tries to catch a fallen star to get a blessing from Celestia and obtain a heart. Instead, he gets you.

Blog tag - [p1]

Misc. fics

Not aligned to any specific AU or series!

[200 Follower Event tag]

[Creator!Reader and Cyno's bad jokes] [dollmaker!Reader and the scara gang]

🔞 [18+ tag] 🔞

[queen-scribbles]

okay just one more: 19. "Your voice is so calming." for my beloved Tragen and his beloved Jaesa (oooor Tragen/Marii 😉)

Did I take the excuse to further enable Tragen/Marii? Yes, yes I did. Did I make it self-indulgent as hell? Also yes. Did I hoard this for two weeks to post as your birthday present? Also ALSO yes. Happy birthday, darling, I love you and hope I got your girl right.🧡💕💖 ----

Marii had a bad feeling about this meeting from the moment she and Tragen stepped off her ship.

She couldn't put her finger on what, precisely, was behind the feeling, but that wasn't unusual. Tragen had picked up on it too; she could sense his shimmering caution before she said anything.

Good we're on the same page, she thought, resisting the urge to rest her hands on her lightsaber hilts as they walked down the hall under escort.

This was ostensibly a diplomatic meeting, with all the trappings. But Marii couldn't shake the nudge from the Force there was a more nefarious intent to the (armed) soldiers keeping pace alongside them, the location chosen for the meeting... Their hosts were hiding something and it had her memorizing details as they walked. How many doors, how do they seal, how many guards, are there blind corners--

"Aramarii." Tragen's voice pulled her from her calculations and she realized they'd reached the room that was their apparent destination.

"Sorry. Admiring the architecture," she said, as if this wasn't one of the blandest, most run-of-the-mill space outposts she'd set foot on.

A smirk pulled the corners of Tragen's mouth, but the escorts were unamused. They halted the progress in the vestibule prior to the main chamber and one held up a hand.

"You will leave weapons here before meeting the Leader-Elect," he said.

Like hell. Marii rolled her eyes. Normally it wouldn't be a problem, but with the feeling curled in her gut she was hesitant to comply this time. She couldn't see Tragen's face from half a step behind, but she hardly needed to.

"Beg pardon?" he asked in that rich, rolling tone that was somehow soothing and sent sparks of heat skittering down her spine at the same time.

"Your weapons," the guard repeated, unfazed by the heavy tonal hint to reconsider. "You will leave them here." He looked pointedly at the dualsaber hanging from Tragen's belt.

"Your coalition has made acts of aggression against my people in the past," Tragen said levelly. "While I am willing to give the benefit of the doubt, and discuss a possible alliance if your feelings toward us have changed, I would be unwise to walk into such a meeting unarmed."

The guard was implacable, mildly mocking smile that had Marii's hackles rising. "And we would be unwise to allow such a powerful individual access to our leader so armed, Commander. We are well aware that both you and your... bodyguard" --he flicked a look at Marii before returning to staring at Tragen-- "have a connection to the Force. You will hardly be defenseless." He gestured to a small case. "Your weapons will remain."

Tragen stared the man down a few moments longer, undoubtedly running risks and benefits, then nodded. "Very well." He unclipped the dualsaber and set it where the man indicated.

The bad feeling spiked until Marii could almost physically taste it and had to swallow it back. "Are you sure?" she murmured to Tragen, moving with far greater reluctance to leave her twin shotos with the dualsaber.

"Sure of their intentions, no," he murmured back, and the shiver that rippled down her spine had nothing to do with the situation, "Sure in our abilities?" He smiled and reached to smooth wayward hair back from her face. "Absolutely."

"On your lead then, Commander," she said, casting a last look at their weapons as she followed him into the main chamber.

Leader-Elect Brin sat behind a small podium on a raised dais, but rose to bow in greeting when they entered, flanked by guards with blasters in hand and electrostaves slung on their backs. "I must admit pleasant surprise you agreed to this meeting, Commander Xo'ric. Sith are not known for giving second chances. Although," he cocked his head as he returned to his seat, "given who is allowed to join and remain at your side, I suppose it's clear you are different."

"It... would be correct to say I am not a typical Sith," Tragen said carefully, tone the most guarded Marii had ever heard it.

She almost snorted a laugh at the sheer understatement of the words.

"Our good fortune, then," Leader-Elect Brin said with a smile that didn't set her at ease in the slightest, "that the Alliance is led by a merciful Sith, who is willing to come hear us out despite past... differences."

"Merciful but not naïve," Tragen said. His posture was relaxed, but there was a tenseness to him in the Force that told Marii his concerns were no more assuaged than hers. "Given your coalition's previous opinion of the Alliance, and openly hostile actions, it is curious to have you reach out so abruptly."

"You are wise indeed to wonder," Brin said. He had that same almost-mocking look as the guard in the vestibule, like he knew a secret he wouldn't be sharing. All of them did, come to think; Brin, the original escort, the guards in the vestibule and here flanking the dais. "Let us say you have impressed us, Commander. Impressed me, with your resilience, resourcefulness, determination. Especially now that you no longer hide behind the Eternal Fleet and that warship. Your people are fortunate to have such a leader."

We certainly are, Marii thought with a smirk of her own.

Tragen held up a hand, giving a small grateful nod. "Not that the compliment is unappreciated, Leader-Elect, but there was a reason you asked to meet, wasn't there?"

"There was." Brin stood, stepped around the decorative podium. The atmosphere shifted as he did so, making Marii's ears pop.

She fought the urge to scowl at the sensation. Wouldn't want them to think she disapproved of the meeting when it was the brief rush of unbalance. Her hearing implants dulled the effect somewhat, but she wasn't entirely immune to the underwater-y muffling feel that came with air pressure changes.

The thought clicked in as Brin halted, hands folded in front of him and that mocking half-smile on full display. They were on a space outpost. A sealed, atmospherically controlled space outpost. There could only be such a shift by design or catastrophic damage.

It was followed swiftly by the realization that hadn't been an atmospheric shift--she couldn't feel the Force danger-nudge that had been there since they stepped off her ship. Now it was her instincts, her gut, screaming at her that something was wrong. She moved closer to Tragen in the same moment he shifted his weight to be leaning toward her.

"Does your Alliance know how fortunate they are? Do they..." Brin chuckled. "...value you enough?"

"I'm hardly a mind-reader," Tragen deflected. He was scanning the room, as Marii was, for details, ways out, where the guards stood. "But I would say so, based on the differences they've put aside, the support and dedication they've shown to both me and the ideals of the Alliance."

"Really?" Brin scoffed. "Because I heard that when you went missing, it only took a couple hours for them to listen to the first power-hungry politician who clawed her way into their attention span."

"And who is now in prison," Tragen said coolly, arms crossed and weight leaned on one leg so his shoulder almost brushed Marii's. He still sounded so calm. "I don't believe Saresh's footsteps are ones you'd wish to follow."

"Of course not." Brin flicked one hand in a dismissive gesture. One that apparently also cued the escort to step close once more. "I don't want your fickle Alliance, Commander. I want their credits. Their resources. So I hope, for your sake, they value your as highly as they should."

Ransom? Seriously? Marii struggled not to let the incredulity show on her face.

"I assume you're aware of the galaxy-wide resource crisis, Brin?" Tragen drawled. He leaned ever so slightly further back, his shoulder brushing hers. Be ready. "The Alliance is not immune to it simply because we stand independent of Empire and Republic. Do you really think we have the excess to pay a ransom?"

Brin laughed at the skepticism in his voice. "I think if they value you as highly as you believe they do, your people will find it somewhere. Trim different budgets. Skim a little on bribes. Cut an operation or two. Thank you for being so obliging as to leave your weapons outside," he added as the vestibule door slammed shut. "We would prefer this go with as little fuss as possible. And the Force will be no help to you; I've made some new friends who saw to that."

Marii instinctively glanced around the room but didn't see anyone or anything out of the ordinary. Brin wasn't lying though; there was an emptiness when she experimentally reached for the Force that made her stomach turn.

"Mm, you really thought of everything." Tragen's tone was still level, but familiarity had Marii catching the faint edge of amusement.

Because they hadn't actually thought of everything.

The guards were closer now, blasters in hand.

Marii kept her breathing even, her stance relaxed even as internally she coiled to spring. She was pretty sure she knew what Tragen was planning.

"I do my best," Brin preened. "Especially where providing for my people is concerned. Do all of us a favor, Commander, and come quietly so we do not have to harm you." He gestured to the quartet of guards, who closed the rest of the distance. The nearer two extended their blasters to nudge Tragen and Marii along.

They struck in tandem, in such perfect sync no one watching would believe this was improvised with no prior communication, grabbing the guards' guns and yanking them forward by the barrels. Marii's got off a shot that went half a meter wide, his grip deadlocked on the hilt. That was fine, she didn't want the blaster.

She stripped the electrostaff off his back even as she knocked his legs from under him. The weapon hummed readily to life, its weight different from a dualsaber or training stave, but not enough to be a problem.

Tragen stood at her back, having performed a similar move. "Can you get the door?" he asked even as Brin shouted and the rest of the guards rushed forward.

"'Course," she grinned. Slicing a door was one of the first things Theron had made sure she could do when she joined. "If you can hold them off?"

He grinned back, electrostaff humming as he spun it around his hand. "Of course."

As if four on one odds were no serious concern.

Marii nodded and hurried to the door controls. She confirmed it was actually locked before pulling off the panel and digging for the wires she needed. (Nothing more embarrassing than putting extra effort into a door you could've just opened.) Fortunately this station was truly run of the mill in all areas, not just visual design. It only took a few seconds to find the right wires--even when distracted by watching Tragen fight--and shift connections to bypass the lock.

"Tragen!" she called, already dodging through the door as it opened.

He'd follow. She'd deal with the guards waiting in the vestibule. Who both fired the second she came charging through.

Good instincts. She blocked one, but the other singed her hair it flew so close. She cracked the guard across the face, wincing a little at the sizzle of contact and cry of pain. But the staff was set on stun, and they were trying to kidnap her and Tragen, so she wasn't going to feel too bad for him.

The other guard swung wildly with his own electrostaff and she ducked, the lethal crackle passing over her head.

Marii pivoted, sweeping one foot in a spin kick aimed at his ankles before she straightened. She only caught a glancing hit, made him stumble, but that bought her a couple seconds before his next strike. Which, in turn, gave her time to block.

"We want him alive!!" Brin's voice bellowed from the main chamber, even as there was a (muffled) cry of pain and Tragen emerged into the vestibule. It wasn't fair for someone to look so good disheveled, it really wasn't.

The distraction of his arrival gave Marii an opening to knock aside the guard's staff and land a solid hit to his gut that took him down.

"I think they like you better," she teased, spinning the electrostaff with a flourish.

Tragen rolled his eyes but couldn't entirely hide a smile. "Get the door, Aramarii," he said, scooping their lightsabers from the case.

"Not that I blame them," she drawled as she checked the door controls and pried off the panel. "You're far more charming."

He huffed a laugh. "I don't know about far more, but," he swung a one-handed strike at a guard who followed them through, "you are trouble."

The door hissed open.

"Very useful trouble," Marii grinned. She grabbed his arm and dragged him after her into the hall.

She could still feel the Force's absence, throbbing at her temples. She shook it off, calling up her memory of the layout. They'd passed two or three rooms on the way that might lead to barracks or somewhere with more guards--

"Stop them!! Take them alive!" blared over the comm system. Tragen and Marii were only halfway to the nearest blast door when it shut.

"This way!" Marii checked her stride and pivoted so sharply Tragen almost ran into her. If this was your bog-standard space outpost, there'd be a more circuitous--but harder to lock down--route to the hanger over here. They just had to get there and out before the hanger could be locked down.

It was a bog-standard outpost. The door opened to reveal a hallway headed the direction she expected. They didn't waste any time taking it, Tragen now fallen half a step behind to follow her lead.

Behind them rose the clamor of doors opening, comm chatter, pursuit on general. It drove them faster, Tragen surely aware of the same thing looming in her thoughts. Hanger lockdown only took a minute or so at most. They were on a very tight chrono if Brin thought to alert them.

Of course, it might've been locked down from the moment they were out of sight upon arrival. That would be the smart thing to do, in case things went muja-shaped. But Brin struck Marii as just arrogant enough to think it an unnecessary precaution. She counted doors as they ran, noting at a fleeting glance one open room looked to be a rec center with game tables, one a vivarium, lizard-like creatures lounging on trees, one-- Ah.

"Keep going!" she called to Tragen even as she braked to dodge inside one of the rooms. He didn't argue, but she caught the concerned furrow of his brow before losing sight.

A quick trip-strike combo knocked out the comm center operator, and Marii jammed the electrostaff deep into the guts of the console and left it there as she bolted back out and after Tragen.

"Left!" she hollered as he approached a crossways intersection. The guards dangerously close on her heels had to hear, but it was the last turn before a straight shot to the ship. She dug for an extra burst of speed and narrowed the gap halfway as they closed in on the hanger access.

Tragen half-turned as she drew closer, relief she'd caught up shifting to worry when his gaze went back over her shoulder. "Marii--!"

The metallic ting of a grenade being primed was her only further warning before the flash-bang exploded against the floor next to her. Marii's vision went white, heavily interspersed with colored spots, ears ringing from the proximity. She hung onto enough of her wits to guess the hand that grabbed her arm, pulling her the direction they'd been heading, probably belonged to Tragen.

"This way." That was his voice, still level and soothing despite the circumstances. Barely starting to breathe hard. "Any other turns?"

Marii shook her head, almost gasping as they stepped beyond whatever was dampening the Force and it came back in a rush. "Last door," she said, throwing one hand out to trip the controls with the Force as they reached it.

Tragen gave an appreciative grunt. "Good timing," he muttered. It made her wonder how much--or little--he'd felt the Force-loss in the first place. There were some benefits to a lesser connection.

The white was starting to clear from her vision but the spots remained as they raced up the ramp of her ship.

"I'll get us flying," Tragen said, hand reluctantly slipping from her arm. "Can you get to a seat?"

Marii nodded, blinking rapidly. Her head ached, her vision still dim and spotty, but she knew the Defender well enough to navigate blindfolded. (A boast she and Kira had actually tested, once upon a time.) "I'll be fine."

Tragen headed for the bridge with rapid steps, and by the time Marii had strapped in one of the holo-room jump seats, the engines were whining and the hip lurched into motion. She'd've flown it smoother, but she wasn't about to complain at his piloting skill if he was getting them out of here.

She could feel his urgency, the hesitation at semi-familiar controls, and then relief, briefly, that she assumed meant they were out of the hanger. Probably being pursued, if he was still tense. Or he was worried about being fired upon, but outposts like this weren't usually armed--

The Stranger dropped in a sharp dodge to the left. Maybe this one was. Guess Brin gave up on taking us alive. Or thinks they can just cripple us...

But there were no further spikes of emotion from Tragen or sharp changes from the ship.

Still blinking to clear spots from her eyes, Marii unbuckled and moved to the more comfortable bench seat curved around the table. She closed her eyes to block out the pulsing light of the archive bank (light in general) and rested her forehead against the table. Grateful as she was to not have the throbbing Force-absence anymore, the flashbang aftereffects were more than enough to give her a headache.

Fortunately the ringing ears had cleared up with no sign of actual damage to her implants. She heard footsteps clear as day when Tragen joined her.

"We're clear, and I've plotted course." The headache retreated slightly as he spoke. There was a pause, the seat cushion shifting as he sat next to her. "Are you alright, Aramarii?"

"I will be," Marii mumbled into the table. "Soon as the headache clears."

"Good to hear," he said with a sympathetic chuckle, and the ache receded again. His hand came to rest on her shoulder, the warm weight making her bite her lip. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Just... keep talking," Marii said. Stars, she'd never normally admit this, but he deserved an explanation. "You... your voice is calming. Soothing." So soothing. "It's... helping clear things up."

"Ah." She could hear the smile in his voice. "Of course. What would you like me to talk about?"

It really was unfair, the things his voice did to her. "I don't care, anything. Are you alright?" She cracked an eye to look at him, but things were still spotty. He looked fine. "Did I miss any recent Vette shenanigans? Oh-! Why do you seem to like my ship better than yours?"

It was something she'd noticed, the handful of times they'd handled missions together, only once had they used the Celestial Dawn. And that had been a mission to Ziost, in the heart of Imperial space. (Neither of them had spoken much. Ziost was an unpleasant memory for them both.) A couple times they'd used a shuttle, but otherwise, through casual suggestion or off-hand declaration on his part, they'd wound up using the Wayfaring Stranger. Not that she cared; it was a familiar ship to fly, and the Alliance was paying for fuel. It just made her wonder.

Tragen chuckled again, his hand starting to move in long slow sweeps up and down her back as he thought. It took a moment before he spoke. "A few reasons, I suppose. The foremost being appearances. This blends in better most places we go. And for those who do recognize it..." He hesitated, hand still moving in slow sweeps on her back. "A Jedi's arrival inspires hope more often than not, and a Sith's fear. Given what I'm... we're trying to accomplish with the Alliance, I would far rather the former."

There was a note of melancholy in the words that made her wonder how long he'd been stuck with the mere sight of his ship striking fear when all he really wanted was to help. It made her heart squeeze and she slid her hand over to rest on his leg.

"The other reasons are, admittedly, more selfish," Tragen continued, tone a bit sheepish but still warm. "The Dawn is an Imperial military vessel by design, and no amount of renaming it or Vette strong-arming me and Jaesa into movie nights will change that, not really. It's... austere. Livable, but all sharp edges and hard angles and dim lights and..." He sighed. Marii rolled her head to the side to peek at him, just in time to catch his free hand raking through his hair, gaze fixed on the far wall. "The Stranger's more..."

"Homey?" she offered.

"For lack of a better term. Welcoming. Comfortable." He shifted on the cushioned bench, thigh pressing against hers. "Better lit."

"Mmm." It made her smile that he specifically singled that out. "Can't you change it? If it bothers you that much? At least the lights. You aren't on Imperial payroll, so to speak, anymore. It's not like it would raise eyebrows."

"I've thought about it," Tragen said, his touch faltering as it traced up her spine. "But it would have to be completely stripped and... remodeled, and I'm not so selfish as to waste resources on such a project that could be put to better use elsewhere."

"Just selfish enough to regularly borrow my ship b'cause yours is gloomy," Marii teased. The headache was gone, as was the spots-infused vision, and she straightened.

"Ah, but your ship comes with the added bonus of your company," Tragen countered, amusement glittering in his eyes.

She almost put her head right back down on the table, to hide a blush rather than fight a headache this time. You can have that anyway. "So there's an ulterior motive," she said playfully.

"I told you it was selfish," he drawled, tucking her hair behind her ear.

Marii gave a faux-gasp. "You mean you aren't perfect?"

Tragen chuckled, fingers lingering against her jaw. "I know that's the popular rumor, but no." He smirked a little and tipped her chin up. "I did, after all, abuse my authority to get the partner I wanted for this."

She had been a little surprised when he brought her instead of Lana for what was supposedly a diplomatic meeting. But then, if he suspected something wasn't right about their invitation, the two of them did make a good team in a fight.

"Scandalous," she murmured, smiling. His voice always did things to her, but pitched low and just for her like this never failed to make her toes curl. "But it can be our little secret."

"Mm. Good." His hand slid to cup the side of her neck as he guided her in for a kiss.

Marii leaned into it, hand pressing his thigh for balance, trying to get closer but stymied by the table and the bench's curved design. It was so hard to find time for them, with the Alliance spread in so many directions, nurture what had started months ago in the training room with a sparring match and blurted 'You think I'm beautiful?'. If the time traveling to and from a (botched) diplomatic mission was all she got, she'd be damned if she didn't take it. She slid partway into his lap to work around the bench problem, arm circling his neck for balance as their legs tangled under the table.

Tragen laughed into the kiss before pulling back just enough to murmur, "I take it your headache is gone, Aramarii?"

"Mmhm," she hummed, shiver rolling down her spine when he said her name like that. "But maybe you should keep talking, just to make sure it doesn't come back."

He gave her a fond smile, thumb rubbing arcs on her cheek. "There is one more reason I like your ship, and by extension, working with you." He leaned forward to whisper in her ear. "I don't have to fly the ship."

Marii curled in with a laugh until her forehead rested against his shoulder. "That's right, one of your weaknesses," she needled. "Sorry it didn't completely work out for you this time. Though you did alright getting us out of there."

"Hmm, thank you," Tragen said with a huffed laugh. "I was more motivated than usual; didn't want your ship getting damaged. Oh, our lightsabers are still up there, on the copilot's seat unless my flying knocked them off-"

He shifted as if to go get them and Marii grabbed the front of his shirt to keep him sitting. "As long as they're on the ship it's fine. They're not going anywhere."

"You're alright with lightsabers potentially rolling around the bridge of your ship?" he drawled, brows arched.

"We're in hyperspace, Tragen," she pointed out. "It's smooth sailing from here to Odessen." But he did have a point. She just wasn't ready for this to be done yet. "...Alright, maybe we should get them somewhere more secure. Then we can relocate" --she kissed his temple-- "to my quarters, maybe."

Tragen chuckled, his thumb rubbing small circles on the nape of her neck. She hadn't even noticed his arm slipping around her shoulders. "Not done with me yet?"

Not by a long shot. "Have to take what I can before the responsibility and datawork get their claws into us," Marii said dryly. She tapped her heel against his calf. "All I'm thinking is there's more room to stretch out."

Comfortable as the seat was, they were both of a height to make this niche a tight fit for cuddling attempts.

"Mmm, tempting." He nudged her closer to steal another kiss, this one almost chaste. "I like how you think."

Both the words and the tone in which they were uttered made something curl in Marii's gut. She couldn't think of a better--more clever--response then humming in gratitude as they untangled themselves and slid off the curved bench seat.

She wobbled slightly upon standing, equilibrium apparently still off from that damn flashbang. But she steadied herself quickly enough and followed Tragen to the bridge.

One shoto had dropped in the dip between seat and back of the copilot chair, but the other and Tragen's dualsaber had indeed rolled under the console and needed to be retrieved. The weapons locker was just outside Marii's quarters, making it an easy destination after they stowed their lightsabers.

Marii rubbed her temples when Tragen wasn't looking. Walking plus the console lights had the headache teasing the edges again. Not that she'd admit--

"Need me to talk about something again?" He was smiling sympathetically when she looked.

She huffed a sigh and dropped onto the bed, shoving off her boots. "I'd never turn it down. And, again, don't give a damn about topic. Winning dejarik strategies. Recite the plot of your favorite holovid or book, I don't care." Knowing him, he actually had those memorized. She was just annoyed the headache was coming back.

Tragen joined her, tugging off his boots as they settled in. "Once upon a time..."

Marii rolled her eyes and laughed as she whacked his arm.

He chuckled. "I'll think of something."

"I know you will."

Contrary to how it started, she had a good feeling about what was left of this trip.