#i am falling in their hell

[the-crow-binary]

Imagine Dracul going to Marie and Laura's tombs in the castle and talking to them. Imagine him telling Marie that he loves her so much. But he's beginning to love Hector and Mathias too, so he doesn't know what to do. Maybe he feels guilty for falling in love with someone else, maybe he's asking her for her blessing in letting him love again.

Maybe Mathias and Hector overheard this because the Castle led them to the Forbidden Wing.

Oh 🥺🥺🥺🥺 The FEELS. I AM CRYING.

Not Dracul feeling trapped in his love for Marie, thinking that loving again is like betraying her, but he can't help himself. He needs Marie to tell him it's okay. 🥺

Mactor hearing this, and it only makes them want to take Dracul with them even more ❤️ They'd feel so bad for him, but also be so touched... 🥺 Maybe they started to doubt they even had an impact on him, until now. ❤️

[wardingshout]

Zelda goes mushroom girl

[lethal-spaceship]

please more dipcifica i am on my hands and knees 🙏

SIR YES SIR also feel free to give me any dipcifica requests (twirling my hair giggling)

when I got this ask I was like:

[skrs-cats]

set after leafpool dies, before the bonus scene w jayfeather dealing w that grief gets resolved. guess who was bitter over a certain cardboard character bitch not being included in that

Next

[giulliadella]

Bill Cipher's anatomy UPDATE!

Alex Hirsch is going to kill me one day.

So, for those who don't know, I'm the weirdo who did speculative biology of Bill Cipher, mostly as a fun exercise. I'm a biologist after all.

And now, on the stream, Alex Hirsch brought me the unused Bill's anatomy drawing from his book. I lost my mind:

So, now, I can tell you what my spec bio got right and what I got wrong and I can expand on the anatomy a bit!

Btw, this is going to have a NSFW part. I am VERY serious about that. Also, warning for anatomy drawings I guess.

WHAT I GOT CORRECT:

Bill Cipher is an invertebrate! He has a hydroskeleton, which he calls "arm juice", not bones. SUCK ARM JUICE YOU PERSON WHO SENT ME THAT ASK, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

And he's also segmented, although he has more segments than I saw. This isn't unusual, internal structures often keep the segmentation that external structures lost. I was very correct about his exoskeleton splitting in the middle to form a front and back plate and that his limbs protrude through the gap.

His skin is black! It's funny how many people needed to tell me that he's wearing gloves. No he's not!

I accidentally got right that he has a liver. I thought "this dumbass eats and drinks so much shit, if he didn't have a liver he'd be dead by now" and I was right. Considering the size of his liver, I was also right about him being a carnivore (or mostly carnivore). Carnivores have large livers because livers are used to process proteins and for uric acid cycle. Since carnivores consume lots of protein, they need a large liver.

His stomach is in the center! I didn't explain on my previous post why I placed it there, but it actually makes a lot of sense. The center of an equilateral triangle is its "mass center", so if an animal looks like a triangle, it would make a lot of sense that its stomach would be there, so that the extra mass from the meal wouldn't tilt its balance.

I also got right that his intestines are in his lowest segment and his brain in the topmost.

WHAT I GOT WRONG:

The entire reproductive system. It's MUCH freakier than expected!

Bill has ears! They are on the sides of his head. They aren't really ears, just tympanal membranes. They are located where Brett is trying his darndest XD

The hat is probably not a part of Bill's body. He used it as storage for extra organs during Weirdmageddon, Holy Moses on a Motorbike! However, if it IS a part of his body, then it could be used as fat storage.

He has 20 lashes. I would have never guessed. They could still be used to sample scent, a lot of animals have scent sampling tentacles.

His feet! He probably has velcro-like structure on them, like geckos. This could mean that Bill could glue himself to walls and walk on them if he wanted to. Little insect motherfucker.

He has a singular anus! And it's between his legs. Do with that information what you want.

AAAAND UPDATES!

I can finally show you Bill's entire digestive system! I couldn't do that in my original post, since I couldn't figure out what would go after the small intestine. Alex Hirsch has cleared that up for me and also, I think Bill uses some form of Malpighian tubules-like structures for urine excretion.

And, now... The reproductive system. AKA, the fun zone and creative juices.

NSFW!

Bill Cipher is a fucking freak, but maybe that isn't entirely his fault. It's in the genes of Euclydeans as species. (His love for BDSM isn't though. "He's got it all figured out", as Ford said.)

So, in case you don't know what a vagina dentata is, it was like an occult belief that women can grow teeth out of their vaginas. Bill Cipher's genitals look like a fucking vagina dentata. So that's why he thinks that teeth are hot - they grow out of his reproductive system.

Now, those aren't really teeth. They look like sharp-edged fleshy protrusions that Euclydeans probably use to tighten the grip during mating. It could probably be used for stimulation as well. That's why Bill doesn't like his sides being touched - the genitals are inside, but rubbing them feels violating.

Euclydeans are most likely one of those species who use pain to sexually stimulate their partners. It's not that uncommon on Earth either (don't look up reptile hemipenes, especially not turtles) and for creatures that are covered in smooth exoskeleton, some piercing action would be highly beneficial for transferring seminal fluid.

This also gives us the option of Bill Cipher being a biological female, who has a vagina with those weird teeth-like protrusions. However, it is entirely possible that males also have similar genitals. Bill calls his thing that's dripping "creative juice", so maybe it is seminal fluid? In either case, it's very freaky, but it fits him so well.

This also means that male Euclydeans most likely don't have a real copulatory organ, or, maybe, they do, but the female has to "bite it off" during mating to absorb the sperm. If they don't have the copulatory organ, they do it like birds, with just pumping, but unlike birds, they hold onto each other's thing with flesh teeth.

I am going to hell for making this art, but you are going with me for seeing it:

It also occurred to me that, since I believe Euclydeans use their bricks to produce sound... they would probably be loud. Fanfic authors, you know what to do.

@mitsu-the-witch you requested this, now live with it. I am going to burn my degree.

[regenderated]

"rank the doctors" based on what!? which one is my favourite? which one i think is objectively the best? which one is most fuckable? which one has the nicest voice? best costume? best actor? best writing?

[tubbytarchia]

For the ranchers a bit more shleep i just really like charakters comfy and nice:Dc /nf

Eepies. Jimmy woke up to really sore wings but its okay because Tango

[marrfixated]

Okay so maybe I am less sick than yesterday at least

[yudol-skorbi]

laudna is SUCH a delightful character to draw

[bayetea]

jason and hazel's beef in hoo was always way more interesting than whatever percy and jason had going on sorry. the differences in gravity and intrigue in the jason/hazel relationship vs jason/percy are only further compounded by the ways they're connected and the ways that their stories are similar

because 1. they have a HISTORY they knew each other before he went missing!!!!! they were in the fifth cohort together!!!! hazel is the ONLY person on that ship that was in jason's life before he disappeared and had his memories stolen. yes they didn't know each other well but I really think that was a bad writing choice rick made. can you imagine if they used to be friends/if jason had been a big brother figure to hazel only to go missing for months and then they have a very awkward reunion on the argo because he barely remembers her and then she's even more betrayed because he doesn't wanna save nico initially. the drama. we could have had it all man

2. beef between a son of poseidon and a child of zeus/jupiter from the grace family? yeah been there done that why are we doing this again. god I wish we had gotten a big fight between a child of jupiter and a child of pluto instead

3. their beef regarding nico was way more high stakes than the silly alpha male posturing rick was trying to force between jason and percy especially considering how mega nerfed jason is written in hoo because no one's allowed to be on equal footing with percy

4. the tacit layer of betrayal in jason being hazel's ex-centurion/praetor only to end up choosing chb (to be clear this particular conflict belongs to jason and reyna and is more impactful between them - but since hazel is actually on the argo and reyna isn't she can still be an opportunity for this camp jupiter/camp half-blood conflict to be explored with jason)

5. I'm just gonna say it - I think hazel ought to have complicated feelings about white authority figures in a military camp as a black girl from the freaking jim crow era (not that this would have ever been explored satisfactorily in the books because as far as rick is concerned hazel is colorblind and hardly ever thinks about race despite growing up segregated. which is crazy unrealistic but whatever)

6. something something about the parallels that jason and hazel have about making hard choices about their pasts in order to have a more fulfilling future

7. this isn't necessarily interesting in and of itself but I just think it's neat that they're both big three roman kids with greek siblings that they didn't grow up with. what could have been interesting is jason seeing how close hazel and nico are and feeling some type of way about everything he never got to have with thalia and some exploration into how that impacts his feelings about the rescue mission

8. they both have really awkward romantic conflicts in their pasts that intrude upon the present (whether he and reyna were ever even slightly romantically involved or not) because the jason/reyna thing is written as a initial source of conflict/uncertainty for jiper in the same way that hazel/leo (sammy) was a conflict for frazel to grapple with. this is interesting to me because hazel is connected to reyna and jason is connected to leo. like there could have been a moment of connection over letting go of pasts loves to wholeheartedly pursue new ones in the way that both of them are (were) with piper and frank

(unrelated but having no frank or hazel pov in mark of athena sucks So Bad and I hate it. it was the first time they ever have relationship problems and we only see it through someone else's pov. I am going to bring this up forever because I'm still mad about it)

9. they both died. this bullet is a joke but I just thought I should put it here

10. percy is a well-established character and hazel and jason are new in hoo. percy has 50 povs in hoo and hazel has 28. economically speaking it would just be a more effective use of your limited pages to spend more time developing important interactions and conflicts between two new characters (esp new big three kids) who already have a more interesting foundation than the one involving our previous protagonist of 5 entire books

11. beryl grace and marie levesque. that's all

imo hazel and jason are the most weirdly written new additions to the main cast but I strongly feel that rick severely underutilized the way that characters like those two could play off of each other. hazel isn't just a sweet little cinnamon roll she is passionate and contemplative and morose and guilt-ridden and jason isn't just a bland rule-follower he is kind and committed and loyal and conflicted and they're both painfully self-sacrificing and I just think it's such a shame that these two characters with great concepts on paper and so many obvious threads to connect them didn't get as much as attention as.... whatever happened in kansas did

and I mean if you like the jason/percy conflict that's fine, but I think it's worthwhile to compare the merit of them because rick chose to centralize and build up to one more than the other when he had such perfect material to expand on the other instead and I think that says something about his biases. and I think part of the issue is that rick struggles with strengthening tension and applying complexity to conflicts between male/female characters that aren't romantic or onesidedly antagonistic like clarisse/percy. we have several noteworthy conflicts between male characters but when women are involved it's like rick doesn't know how to put them on equal footing and apply platonic depth. imo this is just another reason why big three girls (hazel/thalia/bianca) don't get to be as powerful and transformative in the overall narrative as big three guys (percy/jason/nico). all this world-changing narrative weight is afforded to big three kids but hazel in particular is weirdly excluded from all of that and doesn't get to have much impactful interconnectedness with the prophecy or with other big three kids. what happened to big three kids being super dangerous when put together or when they're on opposing sides of conflicts!!!!!!!! we had impactful percy/thalia and percy/nico and jason/percy and jason/nico conflict where is the fleshed out jason/hazel beef!!!!!!

anyways tldr all I'm saying is that jason and hazel complement each other well and rick was too hung up on the Colliding Of Alpha Male Strong Dudes (that he didn't even write well) to see everything that hazel and jason could have had instead

[fuckyeahisawthat]

“I don’t think that is what God wants. And I don’t think you want it either.”

This line of Aziraphale’s in the Job minisode keeps sticking out to me. Because this is the heart of the problem, right? This is how Aziraphale can see Crowley so completely and also not at all.

Because yes they suck at open communication and yes it’s because they had to hide their relationship for thousands of years and have so so so much trauma and fear to work through. But ALSO they actually do have a profound difference in how they see the world that keeps coming between them, and it’s not just theoretical but deeply personal to both of them.

Because Aziraphale still wants to believe that God is good. He can’t let go of that because his whole identity is wrapped up in being an angel of the Lord, and if God’s not good then what has he been doing for his entire existence?

And so when bad things are happening he falls back on This cannot be what God wants. The whole of season one, he refuses to believe that God could really want the world to end—even though we now know he knew this was a possibility before the world even started. He keeps going up the chain of command, trying to find someone to intervene. “That’s why I’m going to have a word with the Almighty and then the Almighty will fix it.” As if God doesn’t have all the information or hasn’t been paying attention.

And really, the events of season one reinforce this worldview for him. Because if the Archangel Fucking Gabriel isn’t sure what God wants, then maybe God did want them to stop Armageddon. Maybe it was Aziraphale and Crowley who were doing God’s work after all.

He’s gotten as far as realizing that Heaven’s orders are not the same thing as God’s will, but he still hasn’t detached the concepts of Good and Right from God in his worldview.

Crowley is a good person who does the right thing so he must still be an angel deep down. “I know the angel you were.” The only way Aziraphale can conceptualize Crowley saving Job’s children is, “Come on, you’re a little bit on our [God’s] side.” So Crowley’s fall was a mistake; Crowley belongs in Heaven, where he was so happy before the Fall. Why wouldn’t he want to be an angel again? And yeah maybe Heaven sucks now but God is still good, so there’s hope that the system can be reformed with a change of leadership, and Heaven can be made to actually do good, the way God always intended.

But that’s not how Crowley sees the world at all. He is operating with an entirely different understanding of reality. Because he figured out a long time ago (at least by the time of the Job job, but probably long before that) that you can’t base your sense of morality on what you think God wants. Not just because you don’t know for sure, but because sometimes God’s plans are fucking awful. God in Good Omens is not kind to Her creations. She doesn’t tolerate questions or doubts or disobedience. She’s capricious, turning on the creatures She made and killing a bunch of them when She’s in a bad mood. She punishes indiscriminately and disproportionately. She wagers human lives like gambling chips. The kids were supposed to be dead no matter who won the bet.

I think it’s interesting that Crowley is the one who introduces the idea in season one of “What if the Almighty planned it like this all along? From the very beginning.” That’s probably a comforting thought to Aziraphale, soothing his anxieties about going against Heaven right when he is feeling acute distress at the idea of no longer having a side. (And, in that particular moment, no longer even having a bookshop.)

But it’s not a comforting thought to Crowley. Have you seen what happens when God has a plan for you? It fucking sucks. Woe betide you if you’re the Barbie God decides to play with today. (At bare minimum, you’re coming back with some burn marks and a weird haircut.)

I’ve brought up the line “There are no right people. There’s just God, moving in mysterious ways and not talking to any of us” before, and I tend to focus on the “there are no right people” part. But also, there’s just God.

Aziraphale tends to draw a distinction between God’s will and Heaven’s orders when it suits him, and collapse that distinction when it doesn’t. Crowley almost never differentiates between God and Heaven. There’s just God, and She’s not going to explain why this is happening or listen to pleas for mercy (although Crowley still tries). You can’t trust Heaven or Hell, and you can’t count on God to show up and make everything all right. Sometimes God is in fact the reason that things are not all right. You’re on your own.

(And. Look. Crowley is right on this one. There are certainly aspects of their relationship where they’re both equally responsible for things being a shitshow, but the text is pretty unambiguous about Crowley, a demon, having the most accurate read on the nature of God in the world of Good Omens out of any of the metaphysical characters.)

Crowley rebuilt his entire sense of self, alone, after the Fall. He created himself anew and developed his own moral compass and sense of identity independent of both Heaven and Hell. “The angel you knew is not me.” When Crowley does the right thing, that’s not his angel-ness shining through; that’s just Crowley.

And from a like, trauma recovery point of view, it’s actually very healthy for him to have the realization that sometimes God’s just kind of a dick. He didn’t do anything to deserve getting kicked out of Heaven. None of them did. Just God messing them about because She didn’t like being questioned, or She wanted to see what would happen, or She needed two sides for Reasons and didn’t much care who was on one or the other, or She’s playing some fucked up little game for Her own amusement. (And if there was some Great Plan that required Crowley to fall…well, that is also fucked up. Because it doesn’t matter if there was a reason. It still hurt.)

And while Crowley in general is extremely patient with Aziraphale and his slow, halting journey away from Heaven…it’s gotta sting, every time Aziraphale doesn’t want to believe that God could be cruel, when Crowley is standing right fucking there. It’s gotta hurt when Aziraphale refuses to see something that Crowley knows to be true through his own lived experience. Because it should be enough. What happened to him should be enough to make someone who loves him walk away from Heaven and never look back. And it isn’t.

But of course Crowley is one hundred percent not going to talk about this, if he is even fully self-aware about having these thoughts, because it’s far too painful and vulnerable. (He talks to plants, goats, God, and no one in a bar at the end of the world, but never to Aziraphale.) And so he says “Tell me you said no” and “I think I understand a lot better than you do” because he can’t say Choose me. Just this once, choose me and he can’t say Believe me.

And Aziraphale is not going to think about all this and work it out for himself, because he has a massive lump of denial centered around exactly this thing, that sometimes God hurts people who didn’t do anything to deserve it. I’m sure he’s thought about the Fall in abstract terms, enough to be afraid of it, but not in terms of this is a thing that happened to a person I love. And he has certainly not allowed himself to draw any conclusions about the nature of God from it, because that is far too scary a prospect.

And so they’re stuck. Until they can figure out how to remove this massive landmine from the center of their relationship, they are going to keep having the same fight over and over again, and they’re going to keep hurting each other without fully understanding why.

[sanasanakun]

People try too hard to make Curly an active participant in Jimmy's abuse. Isn't the whole point that he's passive in everything Jimmy does? Abuse occurs because he actively doesn't do anything? Not to call someone out or be mean, but I saw a post saying Anya's ID being in Curly's locker at the beginning shows that he intended to prevent Anya from filing an HR report and I disagree. I get where that interpretation is coming from, but I think it's a little uncharitable. I don't like being too kind to Curly because he's like...a morally mid dude at best lol But if we're going by the HR report interpretation, I would say it's more likely he requested Anya's ID in order to file an HR report on her behalf. After all, the only way to contact Pony (that we see) is in the cockpit, he's the Captain, and Pony Express sucks bad so I wouldn't put it past them to only allow the Captain to use the communication device thing. As we see before, Curly is the only one able to use tools around the ship that you would think other employees could use (ex. Swansea should be able to use the axe if he's the repair guy. Idk why they'd need an ax but that falls under manual labor which Swansea is designated for as the mechanic/fixer dude. But it has to go through Curly). I never got the vibe that Curly moved to actively protect Jimmy. He just lets things happen without say a word; Jimmy walks all over him, and by extension, the whole crew. I get why people would think that because he gives the whole "Hey Jimmy, we can get through this together, bud" spiel right before the crash. This part interests me a lot because there's so many ways to interpret Curly's intentions there. My interpretation is that Curly is on autopilot mode. The responses seem so stilted in comparison to Jimmy's. Like it's the kind of thing Curly's said before again and again and again when Jimmy's gotten in trouble. However, as others previously pointed out, I don't think Curly ever dealt with Jimmy doing something this irredeemable. He doesn't know how to respond, so he just goes for the default "You've gotten through tough situations before. Work through it one step at a time." Like the response is lame af lol I think he was in shock; he was scared (and just so I can say it one more time: he's super lame).

Anyway, this is way longer than I intended and I've said things a billion people have already stated. But uhhh tldr the whole point of Curly's character is he's passive; he never acts. He just watches. Making him an active participant in the abuse by taking actions to cover for Jimmy (like preventing Anya from filing an HR report) defeats the purpose of his character. He's a bystander.

[yandere-wishes]

I NEED HIM CARNALLY!!❣❤❣❤❣❤❣ HE'S SO YANDERE CODED!!

[orangechickenpillow]

(Vibrating like a wet dog) I need you to crawl inside my head and watch this movie okay that's the only way you'll understand

[azelmaandeponine]

Ford overestimated his brother's social skills and charisma, thinking that this alone would allow Stan to survive on his own out there. Also, Stan screamed that he didn't need Ford or anyone when he was driving away from home and Ford probably believed that Stan was cutting him from his life by saying that. And the fact that, from Ford's perspective, Stan never tried to contact him again (we know that this is not true but Ford don't) just made this seem true.

Also, if someone didn't desevered Stan was Filbrick. Stan spent over ten years homeless, in poverty, going in and out of prison and getting into trouble with bad groups of people because of Filbrick's decision of kicking him out of home. Stan could have easily died or been seriously hurt in that span of time, under those conditions and that would be Filbrick's fault not Ford's fault.

Yes, tbh. On both accounts.

Ford probably did think Stan'd be fine because of his social skills and charisma. And with caller ID not being a thing, Ford would have no idea Stan did call him during that time, but hung up without saying anything.

And yes, Ford is not the villain here. Filbrick is.

[liorlen]

hate me baby, maybe i’m a piece of art~