#i am excited for the womens world cup but i will barely be able to watch it because it is all in the middle of the night for me

[probayern]

unfortunately i miss the bundesliga already

[gallusrostromegalus]

I was raised agnostic and tend to remain ambiguous on theological matters.

-but my house has a porch on the second story that affords me a terrific view of my neighborhood and the Colorado Front Range and I was partaking of some peace before the 4th Of July Finger-Loss Festivities begin, and I have had a

~*Spiritual Experience*~

I just watched my neighbor try to unload an actual wooden pallet that had to have been forklifted into the back of his insecurity pickup worth of fireworks.

Except that he does not have a forklift in his garage.

He does have so much sports memorabilia and cardboard boxes of unsold MLM Merchandise and patriotically themed camping gear and posters of women in bikinis and flags of suspect political organizations in his garage that there is only BARELY enough space for the fireworks and certainly none for his truck.

So he had to unload the individual boxes of recreational explosives from the back of his truck and stack them in the minimal space he had cleared by hand. This is a tedious and time-consuming process as this neighbor has purchased a wide variety of recreational and locally illegal explosives instead of many of just a few types, so the individual boxes are rather small.

He begins, and this is crucial to what happens next, by cutting apart the industrial-grade saran wrap his explosives dealer had so carefully wrapped his merchandise in, and discarded it unsecured on his lawn.

Where Outdoor Conditions sometimes happen.

His process for unloading the fireworks is to 1. Climb up through the gate into the bed of his pickup truck (a feat made unusually difficult due to the slope of his driveway, and this man's fascinating decision to wear the world's Siffest and least Flexible Denim Overalls. 2. Once in the pickup bed, he selects ONE (1) box from the pile He is apparently from a niche religious institution that doesn't believe in stacking things. 3. Carries it awkwardly around the palette that barely fits in the truck bed 4. His wife yells "Be careful!" when he nearly falls out of the pickup. 5. He Yells "SHADDUP!" back at her. 6. The Large German Shepherd barks from inside the house. 7. He yells "SHADDUP!" back at her too. 8. He sets the (1) box down on the gate 9. Slowly and awkwardly climbs out of the pickup bed 10. picks the box back up, and carries it into the garage.

Question: Aren't you going to help this poor man? Answer: Absolutely Not.

There's four military veterans, MANY dogs, and several people with dementia in this neighborhood, all of whom are terrified by this chicanery every year and many neighbors have repeatedly asked him to maybe do the fireworks somewhere else. (This is the Eighth Year Running he's held a major demolition event in his driveway, and for those of you who can do math, you may be able to guess the precipitating incident to this little ritual) Additionally, I live in Colorado, a state marginally less prone to spontaneous and catastrophic conflagrations than a rotting grain silo, but only marginally. Our recreational explosives laws are written accordingly.

I am in fact calling the Non Emergency line to report Fireworks violations, and reading off the brand labels to someone named Dorothy, who is gleefully totaling up a SPECTACULAR fine for my oblivious neighbor.

However, while I'm on the phone with Dorothy, I notice the wind begin to pick up. and by "Notice" I mean "The Industrial Saran Wrap he left on his Lawn earlier is suddenly swept up about 100 feet into the air by an updraft intense enough to make my ears pop" And by "Pick Up" I mean "I look up to see the sky has turned a fun and exciting shade of glass green, and the bottoms of the clouds are bumpy and rounded, and the overall effect is not unlike looking up through the bottom of the cup at God's Matcha Boba Tea."

For those of you who do not live in places with Inclement Weather, these conditions mean "You have about 30 seconds before a Major Meteorological Event Occurs."

I move under the eaves. "Hang on Dorothy." I say, nose filling with Petrichor. "The show is about to be cancelled." "Oh, that doesn't matter!" Dorothy cheerfully informs me. "It's illegal for him just to possess those, no matter if he actually gets to set them off or not." "Terrific, because he's gotten maybe five boxes out of a hundred inside."

Sometimes, the weather gods are Merciful and give you a verbal warning, typically in the kind of thunderclap that makes your ears ring.

The Gods were not merciful today.

It's not often that I am in the time, place, correct angle or in a properly observational frame of mind to see this, But I got to see it today. Huh. I thought. I've never seen a cloud just DIVE for the ground before. Oh. I realized as it got closer. That's RAIN.

Sometimes, a thunderstorm will form in such a way that the rain that would normally be distributed over an area of say, five to tent square miles, is instead concentrated into an area of say, my neighborhood exactly.

So today, I was granted the rare privilege of being able to actually see the literal wall of water descend from On High and DIRECTLY onto my porch, my street, and my neighbor's truck, and his pile of unwrapped fireworks.

The sheer impact force of the downpour immediately scatters the teetering pile of fireworks boxes in the back of the truck, like the wrath of God striking down the tower of Babel. Boxes tumble, then are washed out of the bed of the truck by the deluge. Smaller Boxes are carried down the road in a little line by the stream forming in the gutter, like little impotent explosive ducklings.

My neighbor was definitely yelling something, but I could not hear what over the DEAFENING noise several million gallons of water makes upon high-speed contact with the earth's surface, but there was a lot of arm-waving and faces turning red as he went looking for the saran wrap that had probably blown to Nebraska by now, while his wife started disassembling the complex three-dimensional puzzle of interlocking material goods in search of a tarp. They do not have a tarp. They have one of those wretched Thin Blue Line flags though, and my neighbor jogs out in a futile effort to cover what's left in the truck.

Which is when the hail begins.

"HELLO?" Yelled Dorothy. "HI!" I shouted. "WE'RE HAVING SOME WEATHER!" "OH GOOD!" she shouts back. "WE NEED THE MOISTURE!"

I watch for a minute longer, but the loss was immediate and catastrophic- the hail is the size of marbles and dense and cares not for your pitiful cardboard and cellophane, ripping the boxes asunder and punching holes in the few things covered in plastic. The colors on the Thin Blue Line Flag are seeping all over the remains of that it was supposed to protect in a particularly apt visual metaphor. Not even the few boxes that made it into the garage are spared, as the German Shepherd escapes from indoors, and in an attempt to assist her humans, jumps directly into the small stack of not-yet-ruined boxes, scattering them into the driveway and deluge. She even picks one up so her humans will chase her around the yard, before dropping it in the gutter to be swept away.

So. I was raised Agnostic -but even I can recognize when God slaps someone upside the head and shouts "NO!" at them.

---

(If you laughed, please consider supporting my Ko-fi or preordering my book of Strange Stories on Patreon)

[greynatomy]

proud of you

lucy bronze x reader

second to last world cup fic. yhis was supposed to be my last, but i saw another in my inbox that’s i should start on.

my requests are closed as of right now. i’ll open it back up when i’ve finished doing the ones i could do, so bare with me.

i will still be writing ones of my ideas and have a couple almost done so keep a lookout for that.

letme know what you think!

-grey

———

In the stands, decked out in England jerseys, with your last name displayed proudly on your back, your two year old daughter, Evelyn, having ‘Mama’ on hers.

“Are you excited bubba?”

“Yeah! Mama win?” She looks at you with her big innocent eyes.

“We don’t know yet, so we’ll have to wait and see.”

It’s a very intense game, as expected. It is the final of the Women’s World Cup. Everyone was getting pushed, pulled, taken down. Evie did find it amusing whenever she sees someone fall.

In the twenty-ninth minute was when your heart stopped, Spain’s very own captain, Olga Carmona, scored a goal that erupted their fans into loud cries and cheers, you were glad that Evie had some ear protecting headphones, while England fans looked disappointed. You kept your hopes up. There’s still lots of time left.

But all your home diminishes once your heat the whistle for full-time. You were very proud of Spain, especially Lucy’s Barcelona teammates that you grew close with, despite having a shitty manager.

“Mommy dey los?”

“They did bub. But that’s okay, we’re still super proud of Mama right?”

“Proud Mama.” Evie nods in understanding. “We see Mama now?”

“In a little bit bub.”

Your heart breaks for your wife, even more when you see her collapse to the ground in tears. You want nothing more than to wrap your arms around her and comfort her, but you want to give her some time with her team and peers.

After the medal and awards ceremony, family and friends are now allowed to go down onto the pitch. People ruching to go to their footballer relatives. You take a bit longer, trying to pick up all the toys, snacks and whatever else you brought for your daughter to keep her entertained during the match.

Stuffing everything in the backpack, you put the straps over your shoulders and carry Evelyn on your hip, making your way down to the pitch. Once on the grass, Evelyn starts to wiggle, wanting out of your arms, so you put her down. She starts running as fast as her little legs could. In the distance you see someone crouching down, holding her arms open, waiting for your daughter to get to her.

“Mama!” She yells out, excited to be able to hold her Mama again after so long.

Lucy wraps her arms around her baby, spinning in circles. She suddenly feels her neck become wet, pulling her daughters face from her neck to look at her.

“What are you crying bubby?”

“I miss you so much Mama!” She cries, her bottom lip jutting out.

You can’t help but admire your wife and daughter together. She has truly been the most amazing wife throughout your relationship, especially with your pregnancy. You gave her a real hard time and she was a champ through it all.

“Hey, Darling.” She wraps her free arm around you, leaning down to give you a kiss, only for it to be blocked by a hand pushing you away.

“No! My Mama.”

You pout, playfully being sad. “But she was mine first.”

“Bu-but mine now.”

“Well, what if I told you that’s you’ve got to share both Mommy and Mama in a couple months?”

Lucy’s confused. Why would her daughter have to share them both.

“What?” You daughter asks.

You grab a small jersey from the backpack. On the back, it reads ‘Bronze 2.”

“No way!” Lucy starts crying again, you joining her. “Really? It worked?”

“It did, Hun.”

She puts Evelyn down and wraps both her arms around your waist, giving you a tight, but gentle embrace. She pulls back and grabs the sides of your face with both hands giving you and passionate kiss.

“I love you. Oh, I’m so excited.” She mumbled against your lips.

“I love you. And I am so proud of you. You made it this far, be proud of yourself for being here. You played hard and made us all so proud.”

She picks Evie back up in her arms. “You’re gonna be a big sister!”

“Sister?”

“Yeah! There’s a baby in Mommy’s tummy.”

“She eat baby?”

“No, bub. The baby is gonna grow really big so Mommy’s tummy is gonna grow big and keep baby brother or sister safe.”

“Wow! Hi, baby. I sissy!” Evie has her face pressed up on your stomach.

Lucy wraps her arms back around you. “Thank you.”

“For what?” You question.

“For loving me.”

“It isn’t difficult to. I love you more.”

“Not possible.”

[13-frinfransstudios]

MY STORIES ARE TRASH !!!

This year as a writer is going good so far. I am in a Philippine organization for writers and are able to communicate with them. Most of them being writers on Wattpad, which is just the community I belong in.

But these past few days, I watch these writers post the amount of people that have read their story and commented on it, while I watch mine barely getting any traction. I also saw them update 30k-80k words a day while I write 1k words after 2.5 hours. This kind of made me feel insecure of my work and maybe a little envious (not to the point that I despise them, though I still love my writer friends and support their works).

I start to think that my story is not good. It's silly, pointless, and does not even contribute anything to literature. What is the point of my writing? What's the point of this story anyway? It's just about two women having sex and telling themselves they're not gonna be in love with one another but they are! It's not a cool action-packed adventure filled with secret mafias or demon eyes or a mystical fantasy world. It's just nothing but a trash!

My stories are trash!

...

I start to drink alcohol and stop writing, just to feel something a little bit. Alcohol kinda gets me pumping. (Don't worry I'm no alcoholic Last time I drank was only on New Year and I only drank one cup and that's it) Suddenly, I am on the floor, with my stuffed toys, contemplating about my dreams as an author that I've been chasing since I was 13. I remember how excited I was to write, to jot down different ideas, then to now. Back then I was not filled with worries or insecurities, just simply writing stories that have the same trash quality as I make them now, thinking how great the story I'm writing it.

Then it hit me. Back then, the amount of readers don't cross my mind, I don't overthink about the words I write, and I am aware then that my story is nothing compare to the published books I so love but that didn't matter then. I know my stories are trash because it's all messy and what. But despite it, I think it was a good trash. That was my mindset: for now, I'll be good trash. All this time that's what I've been thinking of my book. That's why I never mind my mistakes so much!

I am 20 years old. I'm still quite young and inexperienced, yet I'm worrying about the things I'm not suppose to worry about yet. I feel like I'm putting so much pressure on myself. I need to remind myself that every writers have their own way of writing and own pace. Each and every one of us have our own genres we are good at. And I shouldn't be worried about readers when I am just starting because no matter what story I write, it will find its audience.

And also, looking back at my old writing, I knew that I am growing as a writer. The way I wrote my story then at 14 is different now. I learned quite a lot these past few years, and I know I still have more things to learn.

And if there's something that my 14-year-old self know better, is that if no one will ever love my story, then I should. I need to treat my accounts as a fan account for my stories as a way to promote it but I need to have editing apps so I think I will need to play Roblox until I get tired enough to download it (the struggles of being a slight-gamer).

Anyway, this is just a rant. I don't know how to end this...

[michelleliloia]

Coverage Times That Men's Sports are Given Compared to Women's Sports Part 2

A personal experience that I have when it comes to knowing male versus female athletes happened over the summer. This past summer I worked at the Women’s PGA tour (LPGA). I had female golfers walking right in front of me but I couldn’t name a single one. However, I am able to name a handful of male golfers that I am familiar with. Also, there were not nearly as many parking lots filled for the LPGA as there is for the Men’s PGA tour (PGA). This is because female golfers aren’t as known or popular as male golfers so people aren’t going to come out to watch and support them. Still, having these female players walk right in front of me was extremely cool but it would’ve been even better if I knew who they were. I am not proud of this and I want to become more engaged in women’s sports. At one point in my life I wanted to be a professional soccer player and I know I would hate it if I wasn't getting the same fair treatment as the men. In women’s sports there are fewer camera angles which means there aren’t as many angles of action shots and not nearly as many instant replays. This makes the game seem slower and less exciting for the viewers. There are also many prejudices against women when it comes to sports. Women are perceived to be weaker and have less talent than men. Why is it that there are these prejudices? It is because women are not given the fair opportunity to prove themselves like men are given. Since they barely get any attention, no one is talking about their athletic abilities and the strength that it takes to be that good of an athlete. “The assumed gender when speaking about any sport in the U.S. is men, unless there is the word “women” in front of it - NBA vs WNBA, March Madness vs Women’s March Madness, World Cup vs Women’s World Cup, etc. When speaking about women’s sports, we have to specify, whereas with men, they are still considered the default” (Bubel, “The Disparity in Women’s and Men’s Sports”). Men should not be the default when the name of the sport does not specify the gender; there should be no default gender. It is ironic. Women’s sports are not covered the way men’s sports are because people aren’t as interested in them. But, would equal coverage result in gaining more viewers and interest in female sports? I think it would.

[screamingatanemptyroom]

One Shot Werewolf Story

So... first of all, Next part of PFTS should be coming out soon. It's going to take some work to make sure that I pull all the threads that's I've placed in all the worlds together without plot holes, so apologize for how long it's taking. Will probably finish this last world in 2-3 parts, with possibly 1 or two extra parts from Liam and the Traveler's perspective.

Now, back to the story at hand. About a week ago, I wandered into the werewolf side of Wattpad. It was very... interesting. Never written about werewolves before. Thought it might be fun to try my own using my own style. (Women who constantly think they aren't pretty or good enough for the man, men who force physical intimacy and growl "mine" aren't really going to work for me.)

Anyways, It's about a 13k oneshot. It's a bit out of my norm, so I hope you guys enjoy! (Also I would love to hear ideas on what to title this.)

Here it is:

________________________

“I can’t believe you read this garbage!” Alyssa’s coworker held up the book in her hand, staring at it with disgust. “What do you see in books like this, anyways?”

Alyssa sighed, looking up at the book in question. The cover showed a shirtless muscular man holding a busty woman while scowling at the camera, with the title written across the top in bright orange words: “The Alpha’s Timid Mate.”

“I don’t read it for fun.” She muttered, reaching up and snatching the book back. Opening the large roller suitcase behind her, she found its place among the hundreds of other werewolf books and put it away carefully.

“Then what is it?” Her coworker asked with a tone of disbelief.

“Research.”

“Really? Research? For what? When your werewolf boyfriend shows up out of nowhere? “ She let out a derisive snort. “Sure.”

“…You don’t understand.”

She doesn’t understand us. The wolf in Alyssa’s head spoke up silently.

“That’s what I said.”

Can we eat her? Her wolf seemed excited by the idea.

“No. You know we can’t. You don’t even really want to. You’re just acting out because you’re upset I won’t let you watch horror movies any more.”

I am not acting out! But since you mentioned it… bring back the horror movies!

“No.”

“What are you talking about?” Her coworker frowned; confused by the conversation she could only hear half of.

Turning to her briefly, Alyssa shrugged. “Sorry, I’m just having a small discussion. I’ll be free to talk shortly.”

“Don’t bother.” The girl walked away, whispering under her breath. “Freak.”

Should have just eaten her.

“Wolves don’t even eat people. Stop pretending.”

How do you know? Maybe WEREwolves DO eat people! You have no clue! You haven’t found a pack yet. Even though you PROMISED!

“I know, I know.” Alyssa rubbed her forehead tiredly. “It’s harder than I thought it would be.”

I’m lonely and bored! I want to go run! I want a pack!

“Anything else, Your Highness? A bone on a silver platter?”

The wolf paused at that, pouting quietly … I’m hungry. Feed us something tasty.

“That I can do. We’ll eat on our lunch break.”

Steak?

“…We’ll see.”

As her wolf silently cheered, the door to the bookstore she was tending opened. A strange smell reached her nose. Mint and pine along with another scent she couldn’t quite place.

Alyssa looked up and was startled. The man who walked in looked like he had stepped off the cover of one of her werewolf books. Muscular, handsome… his brown hair just long enough to frame his green eyes. And tall… Alyssa had always known she was short, but never felt quite so at a disadvantage height wise as she did at the man’s approach.

He looks like the lead from book #298. Her wolf suggested in an interested tone.

“I was thinking book #645, but I see your point.”

Why do you think he’s here?

“I don’t know.”

As he moved closer, his gaze meeting her own, Alyssa stepped back, the sound of her wolf’s growl filling her mind.

HE’S A WEREWOLF! … even better, he smells strong… an ALPHA? QUICK, MATE HIM!

An alpha? Crap. Alyssa had done enough research to know that was bad news. “Look here, missy, I am not assaulting some stranger just because…”

Then let’s switch over to wolf so I can do it!

“No!”

“Excuse me…” The man spoke up, his voice hesitant and trailing off.

Alyssa turned and hurried out the back. Passing through the bookshelves, she heard someone following close behind, and picked up the pace. The door squeaked loudly as she forced it open, slamming against the wall as she broke out into a run towards the back alley.

“Wait!” The man’s voice called out.

Seeing that they were now alone, she stopped in her tracks, and turned, more irritated than nervous. “What?”

“…” He seemed thrown off by her sudden change, but shook his head, studying her closely. The man seemed to recognize something, and moved quickly to stand next to her. “You’re…” His eyes widened, and he reached out to grab her. “A werewolf? My mate?!”

YES! I knew it! Her wolf’s scream of excitement echoed in her mind.

Alyssa sighed tiredly, reaching into her bag. “Well, crap.”

________________________

It had been a terrible day.

Lewis listened to his family arguing, wishing for the thousandth time that he wasn’t in charge.

“Nightfang’s pack could wipe us out!” Gary, his Beta, slammed his fist on the table, the force of it scattering plates and cups.

Lewis’s mother stood up, and despite her height only coming only to the enormous man’s chin he shrunk down in fear. “…Did you just mess up my kitchen?”

“…”

“Then you’re gonna be a good boy and clean that up right now, yes?” She raised an eyebrow. “Or you won’t have to worry about that Nightfang pack. There won’t be enough of you left for them to fight over once I’m through.”

“…I’ll clean it up right away, Ma’am.”

“That’s what I thought.” She turned to Lewis, patting his shoulder comfortingly. “What’s you plan to deal with this, dear?”

“My plan?” His voice came out slightly more stressed than he meant it to.

“Well, you’re the alpha. Your father left it to you to protect us. “

“Yes. Of course… a plan… which I definitely have.”

Gary and his mate Berta glanced at each other from the other side of the table.

“He doesn’t have a plan.”

“Did you really expect him to?”

“Hey!” At Lewis’s hurt exclamation, Gary shrugged.

“No offense, Alpha, but since your broth… since Nightfang left and took half the pack with him, things have been a little disorganized. You have to admit that’s true.”

Lewis walked over to the window of the cabin, leaning on the sill and staring up at the cloudy sky. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We were supposed to help each other. Help the pack. But now it’s all just one huge mess and I’m the only one left to take care of it.

Hey, you’re not alone! His wolf’s irritated voice burst out. I’m always here. We’re stuck together for life!

I’m aware. He chuckled quietly. Glad to have you, Buddy.

So… Can we go find our mate now?

You know we can’t. There could be an attack any day now. Besides, I’ve already visited all the packs within driving distance. She’s not there.

Maybe she’s human, like our mom. We should go to town and find her.

Yeah, just go to town and pick up a mate like going to the grocery store to pick up milk. No problem with that.

She’s probably waiting for us! She’s wondering what’s taking us so long to find her. What if she thinks we can’t provide for her? Hurry, you have to find her…. Bring steak… no… four steaks… fatty ones! It will show that we can feed her… make her fat! She’ll definitely want to mate with us then!

Nothing turns women on more than shoving red meat in their face and telling them that you’ll help them gain weight.

Like you would know? Who have you dated? Regale me with tales of your vast experience.

Hey! You haven’t dated either.

I have instincts, at least.

“Lewis?” Gary’s voice broke him from his silent talk with his wolf.

He turned back “We’ll tighten up the patrol schedule.” He rubbed his forehead.

“It will mean giving up territory.”

“I’m aware.” The words came out as a growl. Territory was everything. In the old days it was a pack’s survival. The instinct to protect it at all costs remained, but Lewis had no choice. “Their safety matters more.”

The pack has to be protected first.

Agree. His wolf sounded unhappy, but stood by him, as always.

“Alright then. Continue with training, and preparing for if Nightfang brings his pack for war.” Lewis sighed. “Hopefully they’ll wait until the colder weather passes.”

Although it might be just delaying the inevitable.

“You are all dismissed.” As he stood up, however, his mother stopped him with a smile.

“Can you pick up some milk, dear? I’m out.”

“… Sure, Mom.” He held back a laugh thinking about his conversation with his wolf, knowing that no one else would get the joke. Maybe I’ll pick up my mate while I’m there.

He headed into town.

As he parked his car and walked towards the supermarket, however, his wolf suddenly started shouting in his head.

She’s here!

Lewis frowned. Who? Nightfang or one of his followers?

No, you idiot! Our mate!

Where? He skidded to a halt, staring around frantically. His heart started to race, as he prepared to meet his soulmate… the one he had been waiting for his entire life.

In the bookstore! His wolf wasn’t much better, barely able to communicate in its excitement.

He opened the door, ignoring the soft chime that sounded out to alert a new customer’s arrival. His eyes scanned the room, trying to spot… something. A familiar face, a special feeling. How do you know if someone is your mate…?

His silent voice trailed off in shock as he stared at… her.

She was beautiful.

Dark curls, the tips just barely brushing her shoulders. She was short… very short. He felt awkwardly tall, wondering if she would dislike his height. She seemed to be packing a book into a suitcase, but then turned to face him.

Her grey eyes widened at the sight of him.

Does she feel it too?

QUICK, FEED HER!

With what?!!! I don’t have any food!

Why didn’t you bring the steaks?!!! Now she’s going to think we’re weak and she’ll starve as our mate! What if she leaves us?!!

Human women don’t need steaks for courtship… watch.

Lewis cleared his throat. “Excuse me…”

She turned and rushed out of the store.

…

…

…You were saying?

…Maybe you were right about the steaks.

He followed her out to the back of the shop, cringing at the suspicious looks that the customers in the shop gave him.

I’m chasing after a girl into a back alley. I’ll be lucky if no one calls the cops.

She’s our mate! We could never hurt her!

They don’t know that. She might not even know that!

To his shock she stopped and turned around once they were out of the store. Placing her hands on her hips, she glared at him. “What?”

“…” She was even more mesmerizing up close. Lewis nervously cleared his throat, stepping closer.

Her scent filled his senses. Lilac and spring and… wolf?

She’s a werewolf! That’s awesome! Let’s shift and show her how strong our wolf form is. It’s much better looking than the human look.

“You’re…” Feeling stunned, he reached out, wanting to touch her, to hold her hand. “A werewolf? My mate?”

This is amazing! His mate, his soulmate was standing right in front of him. Would she be happy too? Was she excited to meet us?

She didn’t seem shocked. Didn’t seem happy either… or angry, or afraid. Her face just showed mild… annoyance?

Does she not feel the bond?

“Well, crap.”

As she spoke out with a matter of fact tone, Lewis’s hand neared her shoulder, only to spasm and drop as he fell to the ground shaking. His mate stood over him, staring down at him blankly, the Taser in her hand still sparking.

Well, crap. He silently echoed his mate’s words as darkness overcame him.

________________________

Alyssa sat on her favorite chair, holding her favorite mug, drinking her favorite tea, wrapped in her favorite blanket, hoping it would improve her mood.

It wasn’t working.

Mostly due to the large man on her living room floor, just now waking up from the effects of her Taser… and the large animal sedative she stuck him with after he went down. He blinked his eyes, seeming confused and disoriented.

He’s adorable. I bet his wolf is good looking! Can you ask him to shift? Her wolf hadn’t shut up since they met the other werewolf.

“Shush. He’s waking up now. It would be rude to ask him before we’ve talked. “

Spoilsport. At least show him all the hamburger meat we have frozen.

“Why would he want to see our hamburger meat?”

THAT will show him how effective we are at gathering food! We can be an asset to his pack! If he doesn’t have a pack he should follow us around, and we can fatten him up! … he’s too skinny.

“He’s not skinny… he’s very muscular.”

What if there’s not enough prey in the winter? His muscles will go away. He should have a nice little layer of fat.

“Do not fatten him up! I like him like this.”

“Excuse me?” The man on her living room floor struggled to sit up. Leaning back against her TV stand, he blinked a few more times, obviously still fighting off the tranquilizer. Looking around, he just seemed more confused. “Where am I?”

“My home.” Alyssa told him, taking another sip of her tea.

“Ah.” He paused, awkwardly shifting his weight and raising his hands which were tied together with silver chains, like his ankles. “Why am I tied up?”

“…” She stared at him silently a few moments. “You’re a werewolf.”

“…Yes. So are you?”

“You said I was your mate.”

He blushed at that, avoiding eye contact. “Sorry. I know that was awkward. I was surprised. I’ve been looking for years since I reached adulthood.”

“You’re an alpha?”

“Yes.” Straightening his spine, he forced a cocky looking grin. “A strong alpha of a great pack.”

“So now you know why you’re tied up.”

“…pardon?”

Alyssa rolled her eyes. “I’ve done enough research to know when an alpha finds his mate, it tends to get physical… and non-consensual… real quick.”

He still seemed confused. “Research?”

She set down her tea and blanket and dragged over the enormous roller suitcase. Opening it, she displayed hundreds of paperback romance books. She pulled one out, showing off the cover, which showed a half-naked muscular man holding a woman tightly as she half-heartedly pushed him away.

The bound man looked at the picture. “The Reluctant Mate of an Alpha? What is this?”

“There are 983 books on werewolves in my possession.” She pulled out her notebook, quickly flipping to the “alpha” section. “88% of them feature an alpha werewolf as the male lead… and 92% of those characters force their mate to engage in physical intimacy… mostly hugging and kissing… within the first few minutes of meeting them.”

“You… you’re getting your information from romance books?” He looked horrified. “Where’s your pack?”

“No pack. Abandoned as a baby. I grew up in the foster system.”

A low angry growl sounded from his chest. “What pack abandons a child?!”

“The kind of pack that I’m probably better off being abandoned than raised by.” She tapped the book again. “Back to the fact that I’m apparently the mate to an alpha wolf.”

“Not apparently!” He looked distressed still. “You ARE! Can’t you sense it?”

She ignored him, putting the book back carefully. “You know that alpha wolves aren’t even a natural thing… only happens with wolves in captivity. Wolves in the wild tend to form family units. “

“…But we aren’t normal wolves? We wouldn’t have the exact same pack structure.”

“Exactly. Thus I can’t use my wolf encyclopedia to gain information.” She frowned. “That would have been preferable, honestly. I don’t really like the alphas in these stories.”

If you’re not going to mate with him… can we eat him?

“Stop asking to eat people. You know the answer.”

Lewis’s eyes grew wide. “Did you say ‘eat PEOPLE?”

“Don’t worry. There’s a strict ‘no eating people’ rule. It’s just a phase she’s gone through since I let her watch 80s horror werewolf flicks. She thinks its funny, but its not. “ She threw her hands up helplessly. “This is WHY we are on a horror movie ban!”

This is unfair!

“It’s perfectly fair! Even if you ignore the moral implications, you wouldn’t even like the taste of human flesh!”

What about hot sauce? Didn’t you say hot sauce makes every thing taste better?

“Yes… hot sauce does make everything taste better.”

“Wait… are you going to EAT me?” Lewis questioned with a panicked tone, scooting backwards closer to the door.

“No. I told you, there’s a firm ‘no eating people’ rule in place. We’re done discussing that.”

“But…”

“We’re discussing whether or not hot sauce would make your flesh taste better if we ate you… hypothetically.”

“Oh.” He thought it over. “I do like hot sauce. But I don’t think wolves do.”

“No. It would give them diarrhea, probably.” Alyssa nodded. “See. Even hot sauce wouldn’t help.”

Then if we aren’t going to eat him, can we please just MATE with him?

“No eating. No mating.”

“Wait, can we not put a strict no mating rule in place just yet? At least not a permanent one?” He paused. “Also, if I promise not to engage in any alpha behaviors like you see in your ‘research’, can I please be untied?”

“…” She studied him warily. “I suppose.”

“Great!” He held out his wrists, smiling with relief as she started to untie him.

“I have plenty of tranquilizer anyways.” She muttered.

“…pardon?”

The bonds slipped free. The man rubbed his wrists, careful to not make any sudden movements. Relieved by his apparent honesty in not trying anything, Alyssa headed back to her chair and wrapped herself back in her blanket.

Grabbing her tea, she took a sip of the lukewarm liquid and smiled. “So what brought the great alpha into my place of work today? Were you looking for me?”

________________________

Lewis was unsure how to answer his mate. Panicking, he said the first thing he thought of.

“Actually I was going to go buy milk.”

She raised an eyebrow. “In the bookstore?”

“Yes! I mean, no!” He covered in his face. “I was on my way to the supermarket, when my wolf… sensed you.”

She tilted her head, seeming more interested. “Your wolf? What’s he like?”

TELL HER I AM VERY STRONG!

“Umm… he’s strong…”

TELL HER I CAN MAKE HER FAT!!

No!

How else will she know I can provide food for her and our children?!

No. I’m not saying we’ll make her fat!

ITS IMPORTANT! TELL HER HOW FAT WE CAN MAKE HER!

“Are you okay?”

“WE’LL MAKE YOU REALLY FAT!” Lewis blurted out… and then stared at the ground in embarrassed horror.

“…” There was a long silence.

“My wolf says that’s very attractive.” She shook her head. “She wants you to know that we have several pounds of hamburger in our freezer and that we are happy to contribute food to you and your family.”

She’s smart and stores plenty of meat in her freezer! Please convince her to stay as our mate!

“So would you like to come visit our pack? He asked, wincing as she pulled what appeared to be a miniature Taser out of thin air. “Just visiting! No mating!” He relaxed as she hid the Taser away again “…Where were you even keeping that?”

“Secret pocket in the sleeve…. It’s not my only one, so don’t think I’ve given you any advantage.”

Lewis tried to think of something that would appeal to her. “I know you don’t have a pack… it would be a chance to get to know others like you… “

“… I would be able to refine my research…” She muttered, staring down at her notebook. “Plus my wolf really wants to…”

SHE’S GOING TO SAY YES!

Shush!

“Sure. Why not?” She shrugged, holding out her hand. “I guess we should officially meet if we’re going back to your pack together. I’m Alyssa.”

Alyssa! Her name is pretty!

“Nice to meet you Alyssa.” Lewis smiled brightly. “I’m Lewis.” He shook her hand, trying to stay calm at the shocking feeling of touching her. It was almost painful, as if every cell in his body were screaming at him that he’s met his soulmate. Overwhelmed, confused, he glanced over at his mate, only to see her calm expression.

Does she not feel this? Are we just delusional?

She’s our mate! Of course she feels it!

She’s not acting like it. Maybe we’re wrong? Lewis felt a stabbing pain in his chest at the thought. She was his mate. He had waited his whole life to meet her. He belonged to her.

What if she doesn’t want us?

… His wolf didn’t have an answer to that.

Maybe she can sense our weakness… our failure.

No… we’re not weak! We’re alpha of a strong pack!

That’s fallen apart because most of them felt I wasn’t the best one for the job.

We have to be strong. We can’t fail our pack or our mate. Don’t show weakness!

I’ll try.

Lewis forced a calm smile as he looked at Alyssa. “Should we head over and meet the pack?”

“Hmm… Aren’t you forgetting something?” She angled her head, studying him.

“What?”

“Didn’t you say you were on your way to pick up milk when you met me?”

“OH SHOOT!” He jumped to his feet. “I’m glad you said something! You saved my life!”

“By remembering milk?”

“You don’t realize how horrible my death would be at my mom’s hands if I had forgotten it.”

“…” She raised an eyebrow, a slight smile at the corner of her mouth. “You’re welcome, then.”

I like her smile! Let’s help make her smile more!

Agree.

Lewis ran to pick up some milk while she packed a bag for the trip. When he returned, he was shocked by the number of suitcases she had brought with her.

“Are all these clothes?”

“Don’t be silly.” She looked at him like he was an idiot. “It’s my research.”

He was almost afraid to ask, but felt he had to. “… They’re all filled with werewolf romance books… aren’t they?

“Not just books… “ Alyssa seemed a little defensive. “There’s some weapons. And a few changes of clothes.”

“If you’re staying a few days at least, do you need to take off work?”

She shook her head. “No need.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. “

“…Okay.” He didn’t want to pry. At least not yet. Maybe one day she’ll trust us enough to tell us more.

He packed her bags into the car, glad for his superhuman strength as he lifted the suitcases filled to the brim with books. Alyssa sat in the passenger seat, clutching a notebook and a small messenger bag, which also appeared to be filled with books. As they headed outside of town, an awkward silence fell between them.

Say something witty! His wolf finally lost patience with Something that will make her think we’re smart!

Open to any suggestions, Buddy. I’m having trouble thinking straight with our mate so close, much less think of something smart to say!

Aren’t you supposed to be the more intelligent half? I’m supposed to be the stronger one.

You’re the one always saying that wolves are super intelligent creatures and I should listen to you more!

Now we’re being silent for too long! What if she thinks we’re an idiot?!

You’re not helping…

“So how do werewolves mate?” Alyssa asked calmly, the question almost causing Lewis to swerve off the road in shock.

“…”

…

“Sorry, I don’t think I heard you. Could you repeat the question?”

“How do werewolves mate?”

… I think I preferred the awkward silence.

No! This is good! She’s showing an interest in mating!

“Umm… Not differently than humans… you learned about that in health class, right?” He desperately hoped he would not have to have a “birds and bees” talk with his mate right after meeting her.

“Oh.” She sounded slightly disappointed. “So we don’t mate in wolf form?”

I’m game.

SHUT UP.

“Typically no… I mean I guess it’s possible…” He felt himself turn bright red, feeling super uncomfortable. “But usually its in human form… at least from my understanding of what mated couples say.”

“Hmm..” She seemed to be listening to something. “No, I don’t think his wolf is impotent. I think it’s a cultural thing.”

HER WOLF THINKS I’M IMPOTENT, WE’RE SHIFTING NOW!

We are currently driving down a highway! We are not shifting any time soon! Besides, what on earth do you think you’re going to do in wolf form that’s going to convince her otherwise?

I’ll show her my genitals, to reassure her.

THAT DOES NOT REASSURE WOMEN! ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US TASED?!

“So I bet that means that werewolf pregnancy follows human rules then. “ She sighed, frowning while pulling out her notebook and writing a few things down. “There was only 3% of books that presented mating and pregnancy while in wolf form, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“… I see.”

“How long does pregnancy last? 19% of the books depict a shorter pregnancy cycle, but I wasn’t sure if it was just to get the plot to move faster.”

“Normal 9 months.”

“Number of children per pregnancy?”

“One… unless you have twins.”

She groaned, leaning back in her chair. “So no advantages at all? So disappointing.”

SHE’S DISAPOINTED! TELL HER TWINS RUN IN OUR FAMILY! WE’LL GIVE HER SO MANY CHILDREN!

“Twins run in our family!” Lewis nearly shouted.

“Really?” Alyssa studied him, looking slightly interested. “Do you have a twin?”

Great. I really had to bring HIM up.

“I do… but he left the pack.”

“Does that happen often?”

“No.”

“I see…” She made a few more notes. “Obviously the villain.”

“…” I mean, she’s not wrong. “Any other questions?” Please be something easy.

“Will mating with another werewolf change my menstrual cycle?”

“…”

…

Do you know?

Nope. Nothing in the instincts about this. Do you?

Nope.

He cleared his throat. “Sorry, I don’t know the answer to that question. One of the pack might be able to answer it. Maybe Bridget? She seems pretty knowledgeable.”

“Bridget? Your sister?”

“No… she’s just one of the warriors in the pack..”

“Hmm…” Alyssa thought that over. “Is she pretty?”

Lewis shrugged. “Seems pretty normal.”

“Do you two get along?”

“She follows orders, so I guess?”

“I see.” He could hear her pen scratching against paper again. “The female side character who will try to chase we away, maybe? How exciting.”

“…” Lewis decided he didn’t want to ask anything about it. For the sake of his sanity if nothing else.

They spent the rest of the car ride in silence.

________________________

Alyssa felt increasingly nervous the closer they got to pack territory.

I think we’re almost there. This area smells different.

“Different how?”

It smells like our mate! I like it!

“Hmm… Do you think he pees on trees to mark his territory?”

Isn’t that normal?

“It’s normal for wolves… do you think he does it in human form too?”

“I DON’T MARK TERRITORY AS A HUMAN!” Lewis spoke out frantically. “Can you stop talking about me like I’m not here?!”

She turned to him, curious by his reaction. “Don’t you talk to your wolf?”

“All the time, but I do it SILENTLY!” He paused. “Do you not know how to?”

“Oh I know how to, I just think it’s really rude to leave her out of the general conversation. She’s here too you know.”

“That makes sense… I guess…” He sighed, rubbing a hand through his hair. “Well, I assume you know since you were commenting on the scent markings, but yes, we’re in pack territory. “

Alyssa nodded, her heart rate increasing slightly. She didn’t like this. Going to unfamiliar places. Meeting new people. Especially people who may have a culture or rules that she didn’t understand. They might not like her.

How could they not love us? We’re a strong, beautiful female… at least when we’re in wolf form.

“Hey!”

We’ll be just fine.

“I hope so.” She took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves.

A warm hand hesitantly grasped her own. She felt an electric shock traveling up her fingers from the touch, but kept her face expressionless. “Are you okay?” Lewis’s voice was quiet, a comforting sound.

I like his voice. His touch his very warm!

“If you’re worried… I know that you might not believe me, but the pack is very friendly. You’ll feel very welcome.”

“In 42% of the books the pack is welcoming to a stranger… usually because she’s the alpha’s mate. In the rest they are either wary of the unknown person, or distrustful or unfriendly. “ She thought it over. “I guess it’s not bad odds.”

The car came to a stop. Lewis squeezed her hand one last time, and then stepped out, getting her suitcases from the trunk and back seat. Alyssa stared down at her now empty hand, feeling frustrated.

I trust him.

“You trust everyone. It’s my job to keep us safe.” She got out of the car, staring around at the area. There were several nice houses, all scattered far from each other. The place was quiet, peaceful, surrounded by woods. She liked it.

He won’t hurt us. He can’t. It would be like hurting himself.

“You’d be surprised how low people can sink if they want.”

No I wouldn’t. I lived through all the same experiences with you. But wolves do better with a family. We’ll do better with a pack.

“I haven’t agreed to that yet.”

We’ll see.

Lewis carried her many bags without seeming stressed by the weight. “I’ll bring these into the main house. Do you want to come along? Or you can wait here, I can show you around.”

She glanced around at the forest around her. “I’ll wait here.”

“Ok. I’ll be right back.” He looked slightly worried about separating from her, but after a brief hesitation, he walked away.

Alyssa strolled around the clearing by the car, feeling calmer as she took in the fresh air.

I like it here. We should live here.

“We’ll see.”

Also mate Lewis before another female gets him.

“I don’t think that’s how it works. In 82% of the books, being mates meant soul mates. Only small exceptions made for if mates rejected each other and such… for the drama, I suppose. “

Don’t take chances. Even with an impotent wolf we should claim him sooner rather than later. He has fatty steaks in his house. I can smell them.

“That’s what’s important to you? And I told you, I don’t think his wolf is impotent…”

“WHO ARE YOU?” A strident voice called out.

Alyssa turned to see a beautiful young woman walking towards her with a suspicious expression. She had shorter, curly blond hair and bright green eyes, towering over her in height. Alyssa sighed slightly as she realized she would probably be the shortest werewolf here by a good amount.

We’re short but feisty! Don’t underestimate us!

“I’m Alyssa.” She waved cheerfully. “Who are you?”

“…” The young woman seemed confused. “Bridget.”

The bitch side character! Maybe she’ll shout at us to “stay away from her man!”

“You don’t know that. Maybe she’s nice. She’s pretty.”

She is pretty… but it would be more fun if she were hysterical and tried to scare us off.

“…Who are you talking to?”

“My wolf.” Alyssa grinned at her. “She’s wondering if you are going to scream at us and tell us to stay away from Lewis.”

The woman seemed stunned. “Why would I do that?”

“All the books have it.” She pulled out her notebook and spread out the books from her messenger bag. Holding up one where a woman in a ripped dress stood next to a large wolf titled “The Alpha’s Runaway Love”, she pointed to a smaller, angry looking woman in the background of the cover. “See… in 79% of these stories there’s a strong female side character who is desperately in love with the alpha despite him being mated to the main character and tries to drive her away.”

“… Are those… romance novels….?”

“But I really hope you aren’t that character type. I think you seem like an awesome older sister type.” She stepped closer, which highlighted the height difference between them. “We’ve always wanted a cool, pretty older sister like you. “

“…” Bridget seemed genuinely overwhelmed. “Umm… first of all… I don’t want to scare you away from Lewis… I grew up with the guy. He wet the bed once when I slept over when we were five… ruined my favorite princess sheets…”

Alyssa started taking notes.

“I was just curious about who you were…” She rested a hand on Alyssa’s head, almost seemingly despite herself. “Are you Lewis’ mate?”

“Yep! He found me in a bookstore.” She paused. “Do you know if mating with a werewolf changes your menstrual cycle? I asked Lewis, but he seemed like he was having a seizure and said he didn’t know.”

“…” Bridgett’s face spasmed at that, she seemed to be holding back a laugh.

“Also… I brought hamburger meat… do you want some? “

“So…” Bridget’s voice trailed off.

“So?” Alyssa tilted her head, confused.

“SO CUTE!!!” Alyssa was pulled into an enormous bear hug, squeezed almost uncomfortably tight as Bridget continued to yell. “YOU’RE ADOPTED!”

“What are you doing with my mate?” Lewis’s strained voice made Alyssa want to look over, but she was still trapped in the hug.

“She’s my little sister now, Alpha.” Bridget’s voice was calm, but stern. “If anything happens to her, I will destroy you.”

Alyssa smiled at her as the tall woman set her down. “Really?”

“Really.” Bridget grinned back. “I’ve always wanted a sister too.”

“Awesome!”

As the two girls began chatting excitedly, Lewis cleared his throat. “Guys? I hate to break up the love here, but the pack is gathering to meet Alyssa.”

He walked over towards Alyssa, stopping in his tracks as Bridget grabbed her first and tugged her in the correct direction. “Come on, let’s hurry up! I can’t wait to introduce you to them!”

“She’s MY mate! I want to introduce her!”

“Too bad, so sad, bedwetter! If you weren’t so slow maybe you could have grabbed her first.” She laughed.

“Hey, you promised never to mention that again! What if you scare my mate away?!”

“Even better, she’ll just live with me and my family.”

As they moved, Alyssa tapped her arm, leaning close. “Is this really okay?”

“Is what okay?”

“I mean… he’s your alpha… is it okay to be like this with him?”

Bridget smiled. “Don’t worry. He’s a good alpha… a strong fighter, a capable leader… but he’s very kind. He prefers his pack feel comfortable enough to joke around with him. Says if they can trust him enough to make fun of him that it means they’ll trust him enough to have the uncomfortable conversations as well.”

He’s a good leader.

“Maybe…”

Let’s mate him!

Alyssa groaned at the expected response from her wolf, shaking her head slowly.

They arrived in a clearing in the woods, where twenty or thirty people had gathered. Everyone looked very different, with skin tones, eye and hair color varying widely from person to person. People of all ages chatted excitedly, watching their approach. They did have one thing in common though:

They were all tall.

We’re… tall… too.

“We’re short.” Feeling uncomfortable, she hid behind Bridget, who growled at the crowd.

“Don’t you guys make my sister uncomfortable! Sit down, you’re scaring her.”

The crowd looked very confused at that, but sat down on the grass anyways. Besides the three of them, only one man remained standing. He was enormous, a head taller than even Lewis, who Alyssa already considered very tall. He was broad as well as tall, his muscles nearly bursting out of the flannel shirt he was wearing. His face was covered in a bushy beard, his dark hair cropped close.

Overall Alyssa thought he looked very intimidating. She watched as he approached, a hand grasping her hidden Taser in her sleeve.

“This is my Beta Gary.” Lewis’s calm voice was reassuring, but she refused to relax her vigilance as the large man bent down to look her in the eye. “Gary, this is my mate, Alyssa.”

“Hey there, Alyssa.” The hair-covered face broke into a friendly smile. “We’ve been hoping Lewis would find a nice mate for a while now. Glad you’re here. If anyone gives you trouble you let me know, I’ll knock a few heads in.”

Alyssa grinned back at him. “Nice to meet you, Gary. You’re really large.”

Ask him if we can sit on his shoulder! I want to be tall!

“It would be rude to ask to sit on his shoulder right after meeting him. We’ll ask him later.”

But…

Before her wolf could complain too much, Gary reached out and picked her up easily, placing her on one broad shoulder and steadying her with a single hand. “How’s this?”

Alyssa looked around. “This is GREAT!” She laughed.

Bow before us mortals! WE ARE TALL!

“My wolf is very happy right now. She was sad that we were so much shorter than everyone.”

HEY! You were sad too!

“Well you can ride on my shoulder anytime you want.” Gary laughed. “My mate Berta and I always wanted kids, but…” his voice trailed off slightly. “Well, anyways, feel free to come to us if you ever need help.”

“OR ME!” Bridget burst out. “I’ve already claimed her as my little sister!”

Lewis stared at the three of them, looking slightly tired. “Do I get any time with her as her mate?”

Gary and Bridget glanced at each other. “… We’ll see.”

Putting Alyssa down in front of the pack, Gary winked at her as if to reassure her before taking his place standing behind the Alpha. Lewis stepped forward, his manner becoming stronger, more confident as he addressed the crowd.

“Everyone, this is my mate Alyssa. She’s one of us, but she doesn’t have a pack. So I expect you all to make her feel safe and welcome.” He looked around, smiling as everyone nodded obediently.

“Welcome!”

“We’re glad you’re here!”

“Maybe Lewis will stop moping so much now!”

The cheerful voices of the pack made Alyssa feel calmer. She waved at them, speaking up. “Hey everyone! Like Lewis said, I’m Alyssa. I don’t know much about werewolves… I’ve only grown up around humans, but I’m excited to learn more.”

They seem nice.

Her wolf was happy about the packs’ reactions. No one seemed thrown off by her introduction. No one was glaring at her or even seeming suspicious of her.

It’s a good thing, right?

Before she could respond, Lewis spoke up, distracting her. “Let’s take you back to meet my mom.”

________________________

Lewis was relieved that the pack introduction went so well. Not that he was overly surprised; most of the more disagreeable pack members had left in the split with his brother. Who was left were either the ones too reasonable to be sucked into his rhetoric, or the very loyal ones to himself or his father.

Either way, I guess it’s a good thing.

He led his mate towards his house, breathing a small sigh of relief when Bridget and Gary didn’t insist on following. He liked them both a lot, but they could be a lot. Especially since they seemed to have instantly bonded with Alyssa.

Just admit it. We’re jealous. We want to bond with Alyssa too.

We don’t know what all she’s been through. She was abandoned by her pack as an infant. Her only knowledge of us doesn’t paint Alpha’s in a good light… or at least they don’t seem to. Lewis resolved to get his hands on some of those books and read through this. It might help us understand how she views us… and how to reassure her.

I like her. His wolf’s voice was filled with a patient care. Even if she doesn’t like us just yet, I hope she’s happy and feels safe here.

I do too. Lewis desperately wanted to reassure his mate. He could feel her anxiety through the bond. Even when she was smiling she didn’t feel safe. But he didn’t know how to help just yet.

They reached the house, and as they were about to enter, the door swung open and Lewis’s mother rushed out. Making a beeline for Alyssa, she hugged her tightly, grinning.

“I’M SO HAPPY YOU’RE HERE!”

Alyssa seemed shocked at the sudden appearance of his mother. Lewis tried to step in. “Mom, don’t scare her…”

“Finally someone normal sized!” Alyssa burst out, hugging his mother back.

“I know, right? They’re all way too tall!” Lewis’s mother stepped back, patting her head fondly. “I forgive them since they’re all such good people, but still, I’m happy to have someone I don’t have to strain my neck to look at.”

“Mom, this is Alyssa, my mate.”

“I figured as much dear. You’ve never paid so much attention and care to a single person before. “ She grabbed Alyssa’s hand. “Come in, I made food.”

Our mother understands! She’ll show our mate how much food we can provide!

Alyssa glanced at him. “My wolf wants to make sure that the hamburger meat we brought got put in the fridge.”

“I took care of it.” Lewis puffed out his chest, feeling accomplished.

His mother just shook her head. “Boys. Why don’t you take her bags up to the room next to mine while I get her something to pad her stomach?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” He grabbed the suitcases full of books, weapons and clothes and rushed up the stairs. Her room was on the opposite end of the house from him, right next to his mother’s rooms.

Why is she staying so far away from us? His wolf whined in his head. What if something happens? How will we protect her?

She already doesn’t trust us. Hopefully the living arrangements will make her less nervous. If she doesn’t like it, she might go stay with Bridget instead. Do you want that?

No. Stupid Bridgett. She brought up the bedwetting incident. Our childhood shame bared in front of our mate! What if she doesn’t like us now?

We were young. I can’t imagine she would hold it against us… although yes, it is very embarrassing.

As he neared the kitchen once more, he overheard Alyssa and his mother talking. About to announce his arrival, his mouth slammed shut as he heard his mate’s question.

“So Lewis’ brother is a villain, right?”

“…” His mother sighed. “How much has he told you?”

“Just that he has a twin, and he’s not with the pack.”

“Well, I guess you haven’t known each other long… you’ll hear it anyways, might as well be from me, since he’s my son.” She sat down at the counter, rubbing her forehead tiredly.

“I had three children, actually. Twins boys and a younger girl. My husband was the Alpha of the Western pack, and although it’s not set in stone, usually one of the children of the Alpha will inherit the position.”

Lewis could hear Alyssa’s pen moving as she frantically took notes. He silently laughed, even as his chest hurt at the sound of his mother’s disappointed tone, leaning against the wall to hear how she would describe their situation.

“Now, I’m not a werewolf, you know. I’m a human who happened to be mates with a werewolf. So maybe I didn’t instill the idea of pack values as strongly as I could have.” She sighed. “Lewis seemed to get it naturally. He got hurt when he was ten… the first time he transformed, just to protect an elderly pack member who was being attacked. He’s got a large scar on his left elbow from a hunter’s arrow. Werewolves heal well… but the scars remain.”

My other son… Benjamin… he wasn’t nearly as concerned about the pack’s well being. Just obsessed with being strong. Being in charge. My daughter Emily seemed to feel very similar.”

“Seems pretty Alpha-like… at least how the books describe them.”

“But that’s the thing. Alphas SHOULD be strong. My mate was very strong, in fact. But their strength exists to protect and feed the pack. Strength and power for its own sake has no purpose… and often leads down a dangerous pack.”

“…”

“My mate died.” His mother whispered, the pain in her voice breaking Lewis’s heart. “Lung cancer. Even werewolves can die from disease. They heal… but not fast enough for more aggressive wounds or diseases. They’re not immortal.”

“I’m sorry.” Alyssa seemed genuinely concerned. “How did you survive losing your mate?”

“It helps that I’m human.” Her voice was still quiet. “The pain is still there…it’s like a piece of your soul missing. But I had family, pack … people who needed me to keep waking up each morning. And I’m glad I have.”

“So what happened next?”

“My mate’s will left the pack to Lewis.” His mother shrugged, turning back to stir the contents of a pot on the stove. “It was an obvious choice to us. He is strong, careful… puts the pack first.”

“But Benjamin didn’t agree?”

“He rebelled. Said Lewis was weak. Tried to fight him, but was pushed back by the loyal members of the pack. In the end he took almost half the pack with him to start a new one… including my daughter who also thought Lewis was too weak to lead.”

“…” Alyssa was silent. Lewis leaned against the wall, desperately trying to sense his mate’s emotions. Was she disappointed in him? Did she think he was a failure.

“He goes by Nightfang now… his group is our pack’s greatest threat.”

“…” Suddenly in the silent kitchen, Alyssa chuckled. “Seriously? Nightfang? Did he think that was a cool name?”

Lewis’s mother laughed too. “I know, right. I mean, it’s a serious situation and all, but seriously… he sounds like a villain in a Saturday morning cartoon.” She looked over, and chuckled again. “Alright, Lewis. Stop hiding around the corner and come join the conversation.”

Shamefully, Lewis ducked his head and entered the kitchen. He noticed Alyssa didn’t seem surprised by his presence.

She probably can sense when we’re nearby. It means our bond is slightly stronger!

It also means she knows we were eavesdropping like a creep!

Well we were… not like it’s much better if she doesn’t know.

“So…” He spoke up, trying to appear less awkward. “Can I help with dinner at all, Mom?”

She smiled, reaching up high to pat his head as well. “I’m pretty much done. How about after we eat you show her around the territory?”

Alyssa seemed a little more relaxed, to Lewis’s relief. “I’d like that.”

WE GET TO SPEND TIME WITH HER! THIS IS GREAT!

Play it cool! She already knows that half the pack left because we’re too weak to convince them we’re a good Alpha. If we look like an idiot too…

OH SHUT UP! His wolf snapped at it. Don’t pretend you’re not super excited. We’re the same person!

…Stupid wolf.

Silly human.

... Lewis was excited. So excited he could hardly breathe. His mate was right here, in front of him. She was smart, beautiful, friendly… at least to everyone else… more than he could have ever dared to dream of.

I just want her to like us… any ideas?

I still vote for bringing her food or showing her our genitals. .

… Never mind… I’ll think of something.

________________________

A few weeks passed.

Alyssa sat on the cool grass, watching Lewis in wolf form teaching some of the younger pack members how to fight.

“Watch out for each other.” His voice resounded her mind. “You can’t be so focused on the enemy that you lose track of what’s behind you.”

Having never spent any time prior to this visit around other werewolves, she was interested to find that although she did understand some of wolf language – a combination of scents, sounds and body language – the majority of the time werewolves simply spoke through mental communication.

Lewis batted one of the young wolves aside, snapping at another’s flank and using his weight to push a third to the ground, baring his teeth. The fallen wolf whimpered slightly, more with frustration than pain.

“Alpha, I thought we had to focus all of our attention on the attack, and not stop until the enemy was dead?” The youngest of the three, a male wolf named Teddy, finally spoke up, his tail between his legs. “How are we supposed to do that AND watch our backs?”

“Who told you that?” Lewis seemed shocked. “You are nothing without your pack! Only by working together and looking out for each other will you be at your strongest.”

“It was Uncle Ben…mmph” Teddy’s voice was muffled as the other two wolves tackled him.

“Sorry Alpha, he’s a little dumb.” Teddy’s sister Lara apologized, grinding her brother’s muzzle into the dirt with a paw. “Of course we aren’t going to follow what the traitor Nightfang taught us.”

“But LARA…”

“SHUT UP and let me get us out of this, idiot!”

Lewis stared at them for a few minutes, and then laughed silently in our heads. “It’s okay. I know he was in charge of teaching fighting for years. It’s a different strategy, but give my idea a shot before you dismiss it, okay?”

“YES ALPHA!” The three younger wolves shouted in unison.

“…” Alyssa studied Lewis with a thoughtful expression. He was kind enough to the pups, even when they challenged him and brought up his brother’s name. He didn’t lash out, just calmly guiding them forward. If she didn’t know better, she would think the mention of his brother didn’t bother him at all.

But she could feel it.

Behind his kind words, there was a deep agony. Fear, hurt, betrayal. He resented that his brother left the pack, that he split the pack with his leaving. He regretted that he had let his brother teach the pups… that he taught the pups to be killers rather than to defend and protect the pack. Feared being compared to his brother at every turn.

But mostly… he blamed himself. Hated that he wasn’t a strong enough Alpha to force the pack to stay together. He wished desperately that he could be a better leader… more like his father.

Alyssa rubbed her chest idly, feeling a pain in her heart that wasn’t physical but still wishing to ease it. She could sense his self-doubt, his feelings of helplessness, but was unsure what to do with the knowledge.

Over the last few weeks, they had spent a lot of time together. She had come to recognize that he was as kind as he first seemed, very different than what her book research had led her to expect. He was strong… she could see that in every move her made, especially in his wolf form… but he didn’t seem to place his importance on that strength.

His mother had described him well. He was strong, careful… and he put his pack first.

The closer they got, the more she learned about him, the more she could feel through their bond. His emotions, his mental state. She couldn’t hear his thoughts, not unless he was mentally communicating in wolf form. The information she was getting, however, was almost more than she could bear.

It made her terrified to guess what he could sense about her.

That’s how bonding goes. He is our soul mate. We can’t hide from him.

“…” Alyssa ignored her wolf, mad that she was telling the truth.

“Are you okay?” Alyssa looked up at Lewis’s mental question, startled to see his wolf’s face right in front of her own. “Did something upset you?”

“… What would you do if something did?”

“Help you. No matter what.” His mental voice was firm… reassuring.

“What if it was you that upset me?” Alyssa was curious how he would answer that.

“… If I did something, please let me know… I don’t want to hurt you, even by accident.” He paused. “If you don’t feel comfortable telling me… then my mom or Bridget would be happy to listen. And of course beat me up for whatever I did…”

SORRY WE UPSET YOU MATE! WOULD YOU LIKE MEAT?! Startled, Alyssa realized she could hear Lewis’s wolf directly. He sounded a lot like Lewis, but slightly more… straightforward.

TELL HIM WE LIKE MEAT! Alyssa’s wolf shouted with frustration. OR SHIFT SO I CAN TELL HIM MYSELF!

“How can I hear your wolf? I thought that could only happen after mating?”

Lewis shook his head, the motion strange appearing when performed by a wolf. “I’m not sure… I’ve never been mated before… but I think as our bond deepens we’ll hear more. I can’t hear your wolf now… if she’s speaking…”

I AM SPEAKING! TELL HIM I WANT THE STEAK HE HAS IN THE FREEZER!

“…But if you were in wolf form I might. Their control is a little stronger in that form. One day we might be able to hear each other’s wolves even when in human form.”

“…”

We like you, Mate! We think you are smart and pretty and smell nice! We spend a lot of time arguing over what would make you like us! Lewis’s wolf chimed in.

“Shush…” Lewis tried to interrupt, but the wolf kept talking.

I wanted to bring you meat and expose our genitals to reassure you of our virility, but he insisted that would make you mad.

His wolf is smart. Alyssa’s wolf approved. That would have made me happy.

“…Your wolf and my wolf are on the same page. I have no desire to see genitals, though.”

“No worries, there’s a firm ‘no flashing’ rule in place. “

Her stomach rumbled. “Wouldn’t say no to a steak though!”

Hooray! We’ll bring you the tastiest of the steaks!

See, he loves us enough to bring us the best steak! We should mate him now!

Lewis ran behind a tree and shifted, quickly changing into loose fitting shorts and t-shirt. Alyssa had learned the hard way that the pack had very little sense of modesty.

After numbing her brain to the sight of naked people who had transformed back from wolf form multiple times, she had come to somewhat accept it as normal.

She was still glad that Lewis tried to not be naked in front of her. Although she was now realizing that this might have more to do with avoiding his wolf’s desire to show off genitals then anything else.

“Let’s go.” He smiled, the expression causing her heart to skip a quick beat, and held out his hand. After a short hesitation, she took it, feeling as always the thrill that came from touching him.

They walked together in silence.

As they neared the house, Lewis spoke up. “You know everyone likes you here.”

Alyssa tensed up. “But…?”

“No buts. They just like you.” He let out a quiet sigh. “You don’t have to try this hard.”

“…”

“You look relaxed when you’re talking with the pack. You’re smiling and joking around… you’ve even got half of them addicted to those werewolf romance novels… I mean your research…” He chuckled, squeezing her hand with his own. “But I can feel it, Lyss. I can feel how stressed out you are… how hard you’re trying to make them like you.”

“I…” Alyssa started to talk but then fell silent.

I told you he knows us.

“I’m not judging.” He smiled bitterly. “I wish I had met you much earlier. I don’t know what your life has been like leading up to now. I just want you to know that people like you for the weird, lovely person you are. You can try to relax a little.”

Alyssa thought his words over. “Growing up… being liked… it was safer. Especially if you were the weird kid who had a wolf voice in her head. I learned early how to read people, and act the way they wanted. I’ve grown out of it some… it does get very tiring. But I don’t know if I could completely stop, even if I wanted to.”

“That’s okay.” He grinned. “Just know that I care about you... honestly maybe more than that, although it’s just been a few weeks. You never have to try to get on my good side.”

“I don’t think we ever tried to do that.”

We tried to scare him off. And instead he treated us better than anyone else.

He grinned. “Good. Then I guess I got to see a closer side to you than most… even if it was not meant as a compliment.”

Alyssa felt scared by this. His care. His acceptance of her. Even worse by the fact she could feel through the bond that it was completely genuine.

“Don’t let it worry you too much. Let’s just take it a day at a time for now.”

She sighed with relief at his words. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” He thought it over for a moment. “Wait? What about your job at the bookstore? You’ve been here two weeks without notice? Do you still have a job?”

“You don’t need to worry about it.”

You’ll have to tell him eventually.

“If you say so.” His expression and mental state were a little sad, but she ignored it.

She would take it one step at a time, just like Lewis suggested.

________________________

Lewis was going a little crazy.

It had been a month. He spent every day at his mate’s side. Every day talking with Alyssa, laughing with her, getting to know her more and more. As they grew closer, he couldn’t help but wish for more.

They had just returned from a run through the forest in their wolf forms. He loved spending time with her wolf as well. She was much smaller than him, with silver fur and grey eyes that saw right through him. Her wolf self was much more open and playful, often pulling him to play or run through the forest. His wolf was enamored with her, yelling out offers to feed her or provide her with pups… or both. Her wolf was in hearty agreement, only to be silenced by Alyssa, who still seemed somewhat uncomfortable about the whole situation.

Lewis was happy. He hoped she would continue to stay with the pack… stay with him. He just wasn’t sure how long that would last. Fortunately she seemed completely unconcerned about how much time she took off the bookstore.

He shifted back behind a tree, changing into his clothes stuffed nearby and staring down at the ground until he heard she was done doing the same. Stepping out of his hiding spot he grinned and offered his hand.

“Should we get something to eat?”

Alyssa took his hand without hesitation. “Sure. What should we make?” Lewis felt his heartbeat speed up at her casual use of “we”.

STEAK!

STEAK PLEASE!

Their wolves chimed in, making them both shake their heads.

“How about pasta?” He asked. Feeling the wolves’ disappointment he added “We can have meat in the sauce.

YES!

Our mate is the best!

Lewis couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Her wolf likes me at least.

“ALPHA!” Gary’s panicked voice caused him to turn, seeing the large man running towards them fully naked.

Seeing Alyssa look towards the ground, Lewis couldn’t help but growl with annoyance. “Can’t you put pants on?”

“No time.” He skidded to a halt, trying to catch his breath. “It’s your brother…”

His heart stopped.

Benjamin. Nightfang. His brother. His enemy.

“What has he done?”

Gary’s face was grim. “He’s invaded. The South Segment.”

Lewis pulled off his clothes, shifting to his wolf form.

“Are there any of our pack patrolling in the area?”

“I let Teddy and Lara take that segment… it was supposed to be our safest area…” Gary rubbed his face looking horrified. “I thought it would be okay.”

“Stay here. Protect the pack. I’ll get the young wolves.”

His silent voice projected across the entire territory.

“Everyone. We are under attack. Go to your designated areas. The Nightfang pack has definitely invaded the South Segment, but it could be a distraction. DO NOT LET DOWN YOUR GUARD! Watch each others’ backs. I’m going after Teddy and Lara who were last seen in the attacked area. Listen to the Beta while I’m gone."

He hesitated mentally, continuing to run as fast as possible to the south segment, and then reached out privately to Alyssa.

“Please keep yourself safe. If you want to fight I won’t stop you, stay near Gary. If you want to stay out of the fight, go hide in the house with my mom. The pack is instructed to guard it. “

“I… “ He trailed off, unsure of how to finish the sentence.

TELL OUR MATE YOU LOVE HER!

He wanted to. He wanted to express the thoughts, the emotions that had slowly sprouted within him in the time they had spent together. To say everything he had wanted to say when he was by her side.

But he couldn’t.

We’re not strong. We can barely protect our pack. She won’t want us. She doesn’t trust us yet.

He reached out for what he hoped wouldn’t be the last time to his beloved mate.

“Stay safe.”

With that, he continued towards the south sector.

Calling out for Teddy and Lara as he neared the attacked area, Lewis wasn’t getting any answers. He tried not to think too hard about what that could mean.

They might just be unconscious… they might not be… His wolf trailed off, hesitating.

I don’t know what Ben… what Nightfang is capable of. He might kill them. But if there is a chance they are still alive… we have to try.

He slowed down, his paws silently stepping on the soft earth. He stayed on high alert, listening for any possible signs of the intruders.

Don’t let your guard down. Someone is close. His wolf could feel the intrusion on the Packs’ territory, it bothered him.

There, in the clearing! Lewis spotted two small wolf forms laying still on the ground. Praying they were just knocked out, he crouched down and inched closer.

They were breathing.

He let out a silent sigh of relief. Scouting around, there were at least two from the NightFang pack in the clearing with the pups.

Only two.

Where’s the rest of that bastard’s pack?! Where’s Ben? His wolf snarled within him.

It’s a distraction.He had known there was a possibility. But he couldn’t leave the two young wolves for dead. He couldn’t.

And Nightfang knew that.

Let’s save them quickly and head straight back. Hopefully Gary will keep things together until we return.

I miss our mate. I hope she’s okay.

… Me too.

Lewis attacked from the shadows. Normally he would owe them a noise, some sort of warning of his approach. He should give them the chance to surrender. To run away.

He didn’t warn them. They had invaded his pack’s territory. Kidnapped and attacked their young wolves. They knew the consequences.

One wolf screamed in pain and fear as his hamstring was shredded between Lewis’ teeth. He shifted in his confusion and shock, the bloody mess even worse in human form. Lewis had already turned to the next one.

He snapped at the enemy’s flank, and as the wolf dodged to avoid his teeth, used his much heavier muscle mass to push him to the ground. He grabbed his throat, resting his canines against the carotid pulse. The wolf grew still, not wanting to push him into ending his life.

“SPEAK! What is that traitor’s plan?”

The wolf whined at his mental command, but stayed silent. Lewis began closing his jaw. We don’t have time for this. The pack is in danger. Our mate is in danger.

“He’s attacking from the West!” Sensing death close by, the wolf began to mindspeak. “He wants to wipe out your pack while you’re distracted.”

Lewis opened his jaw slightly, considering his options. If I let him go he could warn the others.

Kill him.

He surrendered.

The pack must be protected.

Let me knock him out.

“Weakling.” A snarl came behind him, and he realized it was the man whose hamstring he had torn out. Swinging a metal bar at his head. At the same time, the wolf he had pinned bucked with teeth bared, trying to throw him off and attack.

Lewis dodged, clamping down his teeth as he moved, tearing the carotid and jugular with the sharp points of his teeth. He let go, tasting blood, knowing that the wolf beneath him was dead.

One left.

Before the attacker could say anything, Lewis jumped, fangs bared, and tore his throat out as well.

We did it.

He nudged Lara, the older of the two wolves, relieved when she woke up right away.

“Grab your brother and go to the main house.” His tone didn’t allow room for argument. She nodded silently, shaking awake her brother, and the two ran into the forest.

Lewis couldn’t help but chastise himself as he watched them move away. I hesitated.

You’re our kind half. I am the viciousness we hold, the killer instinct.

I’m weak.

We have to have both, or we’ll either be a tyrant killer or a ineffective Alpha. Now stop having a personal crisis and go SAVE OUR MATE.

Lewis nodded grimly, padding off into the forest towards where he could sense the pack.

It’s time to end this.

He ran into more enemy wolves as he neared the center of his territory. This time he sighed, giving up control to his wolf. His wolf seemed relieved at taking over, fighting both enemies to severe injury or death before moving forward.

Mate. He picked up the pace.

________________________

Alyssa had never been in a fight before. At least not with other wolves.

Don’t worry, I got this. Her wolf took over and leapt at the nearest attacker. Gary and Bridget were to either side of her, their much larger wolves defending her flank.

“There’s a lot of them, but I think we’ve got control.” Gary communicated calmly, his frantic attacks never slowing.

“They seem disorganized. “ Bridgett’s silent voice conveyed her disapproval. “Did they come here just to die?”

As her wolf continued to fight, leaping nimbly in between the snarling wolves, Alyssa studied her surroundings.

This is too easy. They’re injured… starving… what have they been doing in their territory?

Her wolf had no sympathy. Bad alphas make bad packs.

She looked around in the chaos. Everywhere she looked wolves were snapping at each other. Blood stained the cold ground, trampled into the dirt churning it into mud. Howls and whines of pain filled the air.

“I don’t see him.” She communicated to the other pack members.

“Who”? Gary trampled his enemy into the mud, his jaw locking on the throat of the other wolf. “Lewis?”

“No. Benjamin. I don’t sense an alpha in this group. Shouldn’t he be larger or stronger than the rest? Where is he?”

“Maybe the Southern Sector? An alpha fight?”

“No.” Alyssa’s mind was racing. “He doesn’t seem like the type to respect Lewis enough to fight him head on. 64% of the stories show the villain attempting some sort of sneak attack. The South Sector was a distraction… and so is this. They sent their weaker, injured members to fight us.”

That means….

She took off for the main house.

Alyssa! Bridgett called out. Where are you going?

To where the real fight is.

She crashed into the house, skidding to a halt at the sight of Lewis and his mother.

No… it’s not Lewis.Their faces were very similar, but everything else was wrong: his scent, his expression, his posture.

He smells dangerous… aggressive… Her wolf complained. He’s everything our mate isn’t.

I don’t like him.

Me either… he’s scary.

We should be careful.

She kept a defensive posture, her hackles raised, her teeth bared.

Benjamin looked down at her with a mocking smile. “Ah. The princess is here.”

His mother glared at him, holding a gun in her hand. To Alyssa’s shock there were already two large wolf bodies on the floor, cooling blood spilling from multiple bullet wounds. “Don’t you look at her, Ben! You came here for me.”

“It’s Nightfang now, Mother.” Ben laughed. “And you can’t tell me what to do. Not anymore. You lost that right when you betrayed me to side with my weak brother.”

Alyssa advanced closer.

“Oh don’t give her that crap, Benjamin. You might pretend to be mysterious and evil but you’re just pathetic. You aren’t Nightfang, or Eveningclaw or even Morning-freaking-wood. You are Ben. A bitter little boy who is mad at his mommy and daddy for giving the pack to your brother.” She kept her gaze on his, and his green eyes had trouble continuing to look into her own. “Never understanding why they made the choice, even though it’s obvious to anyone else.”

“Oh really?”

“I’ve only known you for a single minute and I wouldn’t trust you to be in charge of a self-cleaning litter box, much less actual people’s lives. “

“Well, well, Princess. That’s just needlessly cruel. Trying to rile me up? Distract me?” He shook his head sadly. “That only works in stories. It’s true that I’m very disappointed in my parents’ choice. They thought I was too violent to lead. That I didn’t care enough about the pack. But I did. I’m the only one who does.”

“Sure.” She circled around, spotting one of her bags close to the wall.

“Be careful, Alyssa.” Lewis’s Mom called out, still pointing her gun at her own son. “He’s dangerous.”

“You used up all your shots in the initial attack, Mom. Don’t embarrass yourself by pretending it’s still a threat.” Benjamin reached out and took the gun from her. “I forgive you for killing my men. But you should some respect when addressing her.”

“What are you…?” She looked over at Alyssa, who stayed silent.

“You didn’t tell them? ...Interesting.” He rubbed his face, a mocking grin starting to form. “Maybe you don’t even know?”

“Shut up. “ Alyssa leapt forward, reaching for his throat. Throwing himself backwards, Benjamin shifted as he moved. At the change she miscalculated, slamming into the much larger wolf, her teeth closing on only the fur around his neck.

“You want to fight? I’ll fight.” His wolf charged, snapping at her flank while she twisted desperately to avoid him. He was larger, stronger… but she was definitely more agile.

This isn’t a winning strategy. We can’t face him head on. Her wolf was directing the movements, keeping them alive from moment to moment as Benjamin pressed the attack.

I know that… Circle around towards the back of the room. I have an idea.

They growled, running in and taking a small chunk out of his foreleg before darting in the direction Alyssa had spotted earlier. Benjamin howled in pain, slamming her with his weight, throwing her smaller form enough to slam her against the wall. At the impact she shifted, turning into her more vulnerable form.

I don’t like this. We’re easier to kill this way.

“Not excited about being naked either, but it’s necessary.” She muttered, her hands working quickly.

“He should have protected you better than this.” Benjamin laughed silently in her head. “He didn’t even realize what a treasure he had.”

SLAM!

A grey form jumped through the air, landing on Benjamin and knocking him to the ground. As they straightened up Alyssa recognized her mate with a sense of terror and relief. Relief that he was here. Terror that he was now in danger.

The two alpha wolves circled each other.

“You should have just found your own territory.” Lewis silent voice was grim, full of his authority as Alpha. “Even with your treachery, I was willing to let you go.”

“That’s because you’re weak. This is MY territory. MY pack. You are the one who has to die. And as for your lovely mate who you know so little about… how about I take her too?”

He sighed at his brother’s words. “You’re forcing me to kill you.”

“Lewis, push him my way!” Alyssa called out silently through their connection.

“That’ll put you in danger!”

“Trust me!”

Lewis ducked his head, the almost submissive posture throwing his brother into confusion. As Benjamin hesitated, Lewis charged forward, aiming not for his throat or other vulnerable points, but at his feet. Throwing all his weight behind it, Lewis tripped him up, pushing him back- straight towards Alyssa.

“Here you go! Be careful!”

“Thanks!”

“You just put your mate in harm’s way! She’s defenseless!” He snarled, turning his attention to Alyssa’s vulnerable state. “Fool!”

BZZZT

His form seized for a brief moment and collapsed to the ground,

“Nope!” Alyssa grinned and held up her Taser. “He just trusts his mate!”

“…”

“…”

There was a brief stunned silence.

“I’m so glad you’re okay!” Lewis’ mother leaned against the counter, looking relieved.

“Just one more thing.” Alyssa held up a finger. Reaching down, she grabbed her overly loaded suitcase filled with her research books.

BAM! And raised it over her head, slamming it down on top of Benjamin.

“Oof.” Both Lewis and his mother winced, but made no move to stop her.

“That’s for attacking me. Not to mention what you’ve done to Lewis!” She then reached down and pulled an ampule out of one of the pockets, stabbing Benjamin in the arm with it.

“What is that?”

“Tranquilizer.” She answered, making sure the drug injected okay.

“It’s very effective.” Lewis laughed silently in their heads, and then slowly shifting back to his human form. His green eyes met her own, and neither looked away for a long a moment.

“Are you okay?”

“Are you alright?”

They asked at the same time. Alyssa smelled his blood and panicking, ran over to look at him closely. “Where are you hurt?”

She grabbed his arm, finding a small cut there, and continued to look at his limbs.

Lewis froze. “Umm… Could we do this with clothing on?”

“…” Alyssa stepped back, rubbing her forehead as she realized that they were both naked and she had been feeling him over. “…Sure.”

“…Well” Lewis’s mother broke the silence with an awkward cough. “I’m going to go see to the pack. You two… talk.” She gave them a thumbs up and slipped out.

THIS IS A PERFECT CHANCE TO DISPLAY YOUR GENITALS! WHY DID YOU RUIN IT!Lewis’ wolf spoke up, frustrated.

“That’s not even a wolf mating ritual.” Lewis hissed. “Will you leave it alone?!”

Don’t worry! Her wolf chimed in. We don’t think you’re impotent anymore!

“See…”

So we should just get straight to the mating!

AGREE!

Lewis and Alyssa sighed slightly at their wolves’ excitement, and looked down at Benjamin, still unconscious on the floor.

“What do we do to him?” She asked, feeling tired.

“Do you still have some of those chains?” Taking the object she handed to him, Lewis bound the now human form of his brother, sneaking in a single kick in the process. “We’ll send him to the Council. He’s broken every law that I know of.”

“… You know in all the stories where he’s not killed the villain escapes and causes trouble again.”

Lewis sighed at that. “I know it would be safer to kill him. But… I…” He trailed off, looking conflicted.

“It’s okay.” She patted his arm, avoiding the injury she found before. “If you were able to kill him so easily you wouldn’t be you.”

“I worry sometimes that I’m too weak to be an Alpha.”

“I know. And I’m sure there’s probably some perfect balance of strength and mercy… but you don’t have to have everything figured out right away.”

“…thanks.”

She shrugged. “Besides, isn’t your sister still out there? Maybe the council can use Benjamin to figure out where she is.”

After handing Benjamin off to Gary and Bridgett to guard (And having them both fuss over Alyssa to make sure she was okay) the two went back to their rooms to change. Alyssa stared at the wall of her temporary bedroom, feeling conflicted.

He’s our mate. He’ll understand.

“I know. And that’s what scares me.”

Finishing her brief hesitation, she walked over to Lewis’ room, knocking on the door.

“Come in.”

“We need to talk.”

________________________

Lewis was extremely nervous as he waved his mate to sit down on the bed. He took the chair on the other side of the room.

What if she doesn’t want to stay?

She’s our mate! His wolf answered his nervous thoughts. She won’t abandon us!

“I don’t know what you told him, but your wolf is right.” Alyssa spoke up. “We won’t abandon you. Not over something silly like your evil twin brother trying to invade and kill us all.”

Lewis let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “That’s a relief.” He leaned back in his chair. “So what do you want to talk to me about?”

She stared at the ground a few moments before painfully continuing. “So I told you I grew up in the foster system, right?”

“Right.”

“So the part I didn’t tell you… is that a few years back, around the time I turned 18… a weird guy came and found me.”

Lewis growled. “Did he try to hurt you?”

“No. Quite the opposite. He said he was a friend of my family. He wasn’t one of us… definitely human.” She ran her fingers through her hair, obviously unhappy. “He wouldn’t tell me who they were, or why they abandoned me. He just said they had no choice.”

“That’s crap. I don’t know their situation but their only option was to abandon a baby?” HE shook his head. “Something’s off.”

“I thought so too. I told him to get lost.” She hesitated. “And he gave me a million dollars.”

“What…?

“He said it was a small gift from my parents. I don’t know who my family is, or what they were involved in, but it’s probably big… and definitely not good.”

Lewis processed this for a few moments. “So your job at the bookstore?”

“I actually own it. But I have a manager run it. I stop by occasionally and shelve books while I look for new research.”

“So…” He grinned. “Does this mean you can stay longer and not worry about losing your job?”

“…”

“… Is that what you’re thinking about?” Alyssa demanded, her hands twisting in the fabric of her t-shirt. “You’re not worried about unknown schemes, powerful families… who knows what nonsense could happen! I swear, haven’t you ever read one of these novels?!”

Lewis picked up the book on the table nearby. “I started reading through a few at your suggestion.

“The Seductive Alpha’s bride?” She raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“It’s research! I’m trying to learn how to be a better mate!”

He’s hoping to learn how to make himself more attractive! His wolf added.

We already think you’re both attractive!

Great! Let’s mate then!

Agree!

“Not yet!” Alyssa stepped in as their wolves got carried away once more. “Although she’s right… we do think you’re attractive…”

“Really?”

“But how about we go slow… like a date, first?”

“A date!” Lewis jumped up, his mind racing. “Yes! Let me grab my car…”

“We were just attacked… remember?”

He stopped at her gentle reminder. “Oh. Right. How about after we get things sorted out?”

She smiled, the expression causing his heart to race.

“I’d like that.”

They fell into a comfortable silence.

“So how accurate has your research been so far?” He asked after a while, curious.

“The books?” She thought it over. “You know, considering the Alphas and the relationships I’ve read about?” She looked him over again. “I’d say I was a little surprised.”

“In a good way?” His tone was hopeful, he couldn’t help it.

“Yes. As for the future though?” She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “The majority of these stories have a happy ending. But we’ll just have to see.”

Lewis touched the spot that had been kissed, smiling. “A happy ending, huh? I’d like that.”

[theblvckvenus]

A Starting Point

Summary: Chris’ meeting today didn’t go as planned and turns out you’re the stress relief.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: *18+ only*, NSFW, smut, porn, oral sex (m recieving), dirty talk, cursing, choking, daddy kink

*feedback very much welcomed*

Things had been busy recently as Chris was in constant meetings for his new venture A Starting Point. The site hadn’t gone live yet but he seemed to have daily meetings with Congress men and women which stole his time away from you but left a feeling of immense pride in your stomach. With all that had been going on in the world, your mental health hadn’t been all the good but knowing your Chris was out there trying to change it was helping immensely. Due to virtually everything being closed you’d spent the day inside, wearing one of his shirts, cleaning his place up as best you could, and even preparing dinner which sent a warmth emanating through the house.

6pm and right on cue the front door opened and you heard his heavy footfall through the hallway before you saw the familiar figure in the doorway. Large shoulders filled the wooden frame for a moment and the tense look on his face was briefly replaced with a look of satisfaction at seeing you curled on the sofa in his clothing.

“Evening sweetheart.” He said hands moving up to undo the tie around his neck, as he slowly made his way across the floor. There was an edge to his voice, probably forged in the stress of the day but it played dangerously on your mind.

“How was it?” You asked lightly standing to make your way over to him.

“He doesn’t want to join.” He sighed quietly “Too risky in the current climate.” He mimicked the accent as he closed the gap between the two of you exhaling a softy sigh.

“It’s like they hear my name and their guard goes up.” He growled lightly, hands tightening into loose fists as they snaked round your waist to bunch lightly at his shirt.

“It’s going to be okay.” You said sweetly looking up into troubled green eyes, as you stood in front of him now happy to be returned to his arms. “And if it’s not we will figure out some other way to get to them. But for now you should just... relax you seem stressed.”

As you spoke your arms slid round his muscled torso clinging your frame gently against his. “I am.” He answered quietly his lips pressed against your hair, words almost lost in them. “And you’re right I need to de-stress.” There was that gruff edge again, that lifted your head back up to look at him.

“You want my help with that?” You asked quietly searching his hues once more reading the subtext. He nodded lightly, still toying with the material of his tie in his fist, kissing your head as you watched him.

“That wide eyed look you give me, it almost makes me feel bad for what I’m about to do.” He chuckled wryly, hands moving up to cup your soft cheek in his palm, squeezing gently. “You want to help daddy out y/n? After the day he’s had.”

You nodded, in all honesty you’d missed him whilst he was travelling around and it was about time you both got the attention you craved.

“Use your words babygirl because you won’t be able to in a moment.” He said quielty, the hand at your waist guiding you over to the large couch. When he sat down an exhaustion was evident in the heaviness of his body, it hurting you to see it.

“Yes I do. More than anything.” You said quietly, glancing down to meet his gaze. As he regarded you above him Chris widened his legs, sitting in that wide legged position you’d seen too often. As he did you knelt between them, nestling comfortably between his calves.

Your hands moved to the zipper of his suit trousers but suddenly you were pulled backwards sharply by his hand clamped to the back of your neck. “Did I say you could touch yet?” There was that edge again, you hated to admit how much it excited you. Sure nice Chris was great but this one, this one that was so firm and controlled, he was all yours. Shaking your head you settled back against your heels looking up expectantly. It only took a moment for him to free himself, your eyes widening lightly as you saw him stand erect. He chuckled at that same look you were giving him leaning forward to brush your cheek again before his thumb pushed in between your lips opening them for him.

“So pretty. God I wish I could take you with me and keep this mouth under the desk for all those fucking meetings.” He said quietly, his thumb exploring your mouth causing you to drool lightly against his skin. The hand at the back of your neck guided you closer, knotting itself in your braids to give him complete control as he pulled you to his tip. “Remember what daddy taught you.”

It didn’t take more than a moment for you to sink your lips down around his shaft pushing him down to the back of your throat. Your head bobbed up and down the length slowly, mouth so full of him that you could barely breath. One heavy hand stayed at the back of your head controlling the pace, using your mouth as the tool he wanted it to be. You were rewarded with a low moan from Chris and as you managed to lift your eyes you saw his head leant back against the back of the couch, eyes fixed up at the ceiling as he relaxed into you. As much as he was in control you know you were helping him right now, letting him be the force you knew him to be.

The sight of him caused you to speed up your motions lifting your elbows to his knees to hold yourself up between him, as you continued useing your tongue to greedily beg him to release. “That’s my girl, y/n.” The sound of his voice was directed down again, evidence that he was watching you once more and his controlling hand jammed you down hard. Your lips were pressed to the skin at the base of his shaft now, causing you to choke slightly on his dick, throat tightening round him. You used the last of your agency to move your head side to side pushing him round your throat as you did and the primal sound that rewarded you from his lips was unlike any other you’d heard before.

You had only a half second to catch breath before there was a hand tightly around the front of your throat, cutting off your air supply again. His thick fingers pushed your chin upwards so you had no choice but to look up at him and the sight of his darkened green eyes caused you to whimper softly from wet lips.

“You make it all worth it.” He murmured, using his hand on your neck to lift you from the kneeling position, other hand slipping under your thighs to pull you up into his lap. “At least here I know the outcome. You cum when I say, you breathe when I say. Right babygirl.” You couldn’t even nod, eyes still huge and fixed on him, cheeks wet with a smart of tears.

He chuckled angling your hips up lightly teasing you with his tip at your entrance running it through the wetness between your folds. “I know I know it’s baby’s turn now right.” He said slipping his supporting arm out from under you to drop your hips down onto his, forcing himself deep within you. “My good little stress toy aren’t you?”

——

@afriendlyblackhottie

[arvinsescape]

The Princess and The Guard.

A/N: Sorry for the late update, I had my first vaccination and it made me really sleepy so i couldn’t bring myself to write! There is a time skip in this to move their relationship along but I hope you enjoy! The next chapter will have much more angst as things are starting to happen! I would love to hear your feedback and i will accept construstive criticism. 

This series is not historically accurate and is not intended to be so please bare that in mind when you are reading, I am no real expert on how royalty works (even if I am from England).

This series will contain misogynistic language and views, violence, death and nsfw content. I will always put the relevant warnings into each chapter!

Teaser, Chapter one, Chapter two, Chapter three, Chapter four

Warnings: Language, Smut (Minors do not engage), thigh riding, talking of first orgasms. I think that’s it for this chapter!

W/C: 4K.

Chapter Three:

You sat around the dinner table as you were forced to converse with the Duke. This was the first time you’d been forced to spend time with Oliver for longer than a few moments, you quickly grew bored of the conversation and his constant moaning about the poorer people, along with his bragging about his achievements. Your mind couldn’t help but go back to the last few months with Tom and how things had changed between the two of you, if your parents knew they’d probably disown you.

Harrison’s wedding was a beautiful affair, everyone was enjoying seeing the happy couple, it was a rare occasion where the staff where able to celebrate in their own quarters and given the night off. Your parents watched in pride and delight as Harrison and Ellie danced around the ballroom, completely captivated by one an another. It was almost like no one else was in the room, your eyes consistently found Tom’s. He was one of the only members of staff able to celebrate with the rest of you as he was Harrison’s personal guard.

It was getting late as Harrison and Ellie retired to bed, most of the nobles had left by now, your parents having gone to bed a while ago. As you said your goodnight’s to the remaining people, you headed into the corridors and towards your bedroom, you were quite tipsy by this point, Harrison having encouraged you to ‘live a little.�� Your thoughts had drifted to Tom and how he walked you back to your room a lot these days, as if he was thinking the same, you heard his voice, a smile making its way onto your lips.

“Princess. Allow me to walk you to your room.”

“I would love that Tom.” You smiled as you looked back at him, watching as he fell into step next to you.

“Tonight was a beautiful night. You looked beautiful.”

“Thank you Tom.”

You walked in a comfortable silence until you reached your bedroom door, as it always seemed to be the case when you and Tom did this, no other staff where in the corridors and you couldn’t be more thankful for that fact.

“I’m glad Harrison found his happiness, I truly hope you do to.” He smiled as he spoke to you and you bit your lip as you looked at him.

“I hope you do too Tom.” The alcohol in your system was making you slightly more brave. “Nightcap?” You asked as you pointed to your bedroom, gesturing for him to come in.

“Princess-“ Tom went to say, apprehension clear in his tone.

“No one will know, I’m in charge of getting myself ready for bed tonight.” You almost pleaded with him, you wanted to spend more time with him, he was becoming addictive. He nodded slightly as you both made your way into your bedroom, you made sure to shut your bedroom door, knowing that if anyone was to disturb you now they’d have to knock.

You poured two glasses of wine, handing one to Tom as you both took seats at your small table, one your mother insisted you needed in a bedroom. He looked slightly uncomfortable, this would be the first time he’d ever been into your bedroom.

“Tom, relax.” You laughed. “No one is going to know.”

“Sorry, I just, I never expected to be here.” He said and you smiled.

“Most men would jump at the chance to be here.” You teased and now it was his turn to smile.

“I enjoy spending time with you princess, but this is improper, as much as I like being here and with you, it’s improper.” The nickname was making your heart beat faster, he really was the only person who could call you that and it didn’t make you want to roll your eyes.

“Can I ask you something?” You asked and he nodded, you felt bolder than usual, moving closer to him. “Do you want to kiss me Tom?” You asked and Tom visibly gulped.

“I think you know the answer to that question.” He spoke, his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip as you looked at each other.

“That’s not a yes or a no.” You whispered, faces incredibly close. You heart was hammering in your chest, although this would not be your first kiss, it would be the first kiss that meant anything to you. The tension between the two of you was thick, Tom’s eyes had darkened slightly as his eyes flicked from yours to your lips.

“Yes.” He answered confidently and you smiled.

“Then please, Tom, kiss me.” You whispered back and that was all it took before you felt his lips on yours. It felt too good to be true. His lips were softer than you’d imagined. You felt as his hand placed itself on your cheek, it was soft, caring, almost as if he was frightened of hurting you. The kiss was innocent and sweet until your thoughts drifted elsewhere and you found yourself pushing your lips harder against his, deepening the kiss.

Tom didn’t hesitate to kiss you back, just as firm, his hand slipping into your hair as he carefully removed your grip, your hair falling around you. You couldn’t help yourself as you moved to straddle his thigh and your mind became clouded with lustful thoughts. You’d never done anything above a kiss with another man but you were not naive, you’d been educated on the sexual side to relationships.

His hand had a firm grip on your waist as your hands slid into his hair. You pulled back slightly for some air and Tom took the opportunity to plant kisses down your neck, you moved your head to the side, sighing in pleasure, it felt good, a kind of pleasure you’d never experienced before. You felt a need grow between your legs, a need that felt as though it needed to be shifted, this was new and exciting to you. You ground your hips against Tom’s thigh, the pleasure felt like nothing you’d ever felt before, you moaned.

Tom hummed against your neck, before pulling away. “Y/n.” He said and you reconnected your lips, cutting him off. You moved your hand down his chest, hand falling into his crotch as you felt his hardened length and he moaned. “Y/N/N.” He said again before pulling back completely, you looked at him with furrowed brows, halting your movements.

“Have you ever done anything like this?” He asked seriously and you shook your head. “I’m sorry, I need to go, I don’t want to take advantage of you.” He said as he moved you off him.

“But Tom, I started it. Do you not want to?” You asked, embarrassment settling in your chest.

“It’s not that I don’t want to. Fuck, I want nothing more than to have you fall apart on me but you’ve been drinking.” He said as he cupped your cheek in his hand, he smoothed his thumb across your cheek before dipping his head down and capturing your lips in his, the kiss sweet and soft. “Goodnight Princess.”

You’d had countless dreams about that night, ones had you going further. You’d wanted to do it again, the pleasure you’d felt was like nothing you had before and it intrigued you. You’d asked Annie about it, her cheeks growing red as she answered your burning question of what happens after.

“It’s what happens before you orgasm, your highness.” She said, cheeks redder than a tomato.

“Does it feel good?” You asked her and she nodded.

“Forgive me, Princess, but why do you ask?” This time it was your turn to feel embarrassed.

“It doesn’t matter, I was just curious is all. Some of the women were talking about it.” You lied, you were well aware of what an orgasm was and how sex worked but you were never told how truly pleasurable it felt and how it ignited excitement and passion in you.

“I’ve found you have to do it with the right person for it to feel the best it can.” She added as she brushed through your hair.

“You’ve done it more than once?” You asked and she nodded.

“I had feelings for a guy I used to meet in the bar before well.” She cut herself off, you knew she was talking about Tuwaine, she’d never admit it but you weren’t blind. “I found it always felt better with him.” She added.

“Did you ever enter a relationship with him?” You asked.

“No, he wasn’t the relationship sort of man.” She answered.

You’d found yourself wanting to do it again, it had you seeking out the brown haired guard, trying to find him alone. Tom made you feel things no one ever had before and it wasn’t just aroused, he made you laugh and smile, made you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world to him just by looking at you. You’d found yourself in the library with him two weeks later.

Tom’s lips were on yours, you’re not sure how you got into this position, pressed up against a bookshelf as Tom kissed you like his life depended on it. You’d bumped into each other on another one of your late night ventures, you practically jumped at one an another, the tension between you both was thick.

“You look amazing.” Tom said and you almost accused him of being a liar, the silk of your nightgown being no where near as flattering as some of the gowns you wore but you were too wrapped up in his lips trailing down your neck.

“Tom.” You breathed and he hummed. “I want to-“ you cut yourself off suddenly feeling embarrassed, he pulled back to look at you, hand cupping your neck.

“What? What do you want?” He asked and the look he gave you made you feel safe, like he wouldn’t judge you for anything you were going to say, you suddenly felt a surge of confidence under his stare, he really did make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

“The other night when we- It felt good.” You said and he smiled. “I want to do it again.” You added. “Please Tom.” You almost begged and he nodded.

“Not here.” He spoke and you nodded, suddenly remembering where you were, anyone could catch the two of you. He took your hand in his and laced them together, carefully, and quietly manoeuvring you both through the halls and towards your bedroom. Once you were both sure no one was watching you both you entered your bedroom.

“Are you sure you want to do this? That you want it to be me?” He asked and there was a vulnerability to his question that you didn’t like, sure you weren’t supposed to be doing this but it didn’t feel wrong, it felt so right in a way you couldn’t explain.

“Tom, I’m sure.” You reassured him as you cupped his cheek and kissed his lips.

“You’re so perfect.” He said as he smoothed out your hair. “If you’re sure?” He asked and you grasped his hand, moving him to sit on the chair he had two weeks ago, a sense of déjà vu hitting you. You moved to straddle his thigh again, his hands instantly finding your waist as he softly gripped them. A sudden feeling of vulnerability settled in your chest, you knew he’d done this before, what if you weren’t as good?

“Have you done this before?” You asked and he furrowed his brows as he moved a hand to smooth out your hair.

“Yes, I’ve had sex before, but never with a woman like you.” He said and the sincerity in his eyes had you feeling more secure instantly. “Don’t think about them Princess, I’m not. Now let me make you feel good.” He grinned and you reconnected your lips, the kiss growing deeper quickly.

He licked your bottom lip and asked for entrance which you happily granted, your tongues entwining together as Tom took control of the kiss, his hand slipping to cup your neck as yours found his hair. You felt your need for him grow as you felt yourself dampen at your core. You ground your hips against his thigh and sighed in pleasure.

“Feel good?” Tom asked as he placed a string of kisses down your neck and you hummed in response. His hand moved under your silk nightdress as you continued to grind into his thigh, his fingers leaving a hot trail in their wake. He moved to your underwear and guided you to move it to the side, your core making contact with his clothed thigh, you moaned quietly, this felt so much better.

Tom moved his hands to your waist as he started to guide your movements and you gasped at the pleasure, this felt better than anything you’d ever done before. Your forehead rested against his as he watched your movements, seemingly entranced by you. You hand fisted his hair as you moved against his thigh, small moans escaping your lips. Tom’s eyes connected with yours and they’d noticeably darkened.

“You look so hot like this.” He spoke and the words went straight down south, making you wetter than before, you were sure the evidence would be on his thigh, but you couldn’t find it in you to care. You felt a knot forming in your stomach as Tom guided your movements, taking full control as he moved you towards your high. You were sure this couldn’t feel any better and Tom proved you wrong as he tensed his thigh and you moaned louder than before, Tom’s hand shooting up to cover your mouth.

“Fuck Princess, you sound so hot but we can’t risk anyone hearing, you need to be quiet.” He spoke and the tone was something new, you’d never experienced this stern tone from Tom and it only served to turn you on more. “I can feel how wet you are through this material, so wet for me. Gonna make you come all over my thigh.” He spoke again and you moaned against his hand.

The knot in your stomach was foreign but it felt good, it had you wanting to move yourself against him faster.

“Tom, I’m. I don’t.” You stuttered over your words, they were muffled by his hand. “I need more.” You settled on, you were unfamiliar with what you needed to do but you were becoming consumed by the pleasure you were feeling, everything felt good.

“You close baby?” He asked and you just looked at him innocently, unsure of exactly what that meant and he groaned as he took in your expression. “Fuck, you are.” He said as he tensed and relaxed his thigh in a rhythm that had you almost seeing stars. The coil in your stomach felt ready to snap, you were convinced that it couldn’t wind any tighter. Tom must have sensed this as he pulled back to cup your face with one hand, looking you straight in the eyes as he spoke.

“I’ve got you Princess, you’re safe. It’s okay, come for me. You’re safe with me.” He spoke again and you threw your head back as you moaned louder, his hand covering your mouth again. The coil snapping as pleasure consumed everything. Tom continued to move you against him and you became more aware of how loudly your heart was beating as your vision blurred slightly, it felt amazing.

Slowly your vision returned to normal as did your senses, you looked and saw Tom already looking at you, you smiled lazily at him, a sudden sense of tiredness taking over. His hand cupping your cheek as his thumb smoothed over it. You were on cloud nine and you were so sure nothing could ruin this moment for you.

“Thank you.” You spoke and Tom smiled.

“Anything for you Princess.”

You’d done it a few more times over the past few months, you even took it a step further and brought each other to orgasm as you ground your crotches together. Watching Tom fall apart became something you found intoxicating, everything about him looked hot when he did it. You hadn’t gone any further than you learned was called dry humping but you felt like you were ready for more, ready for him to touch you with no clothing there.

“Y/N?” Your mother broke you from your trance. You looked at the rest of the table and found everyone looking at you expectantly.

“I apologise, I was distracted for a moment.” You said and your mother shook her head in annoyance as Harrison bit back a smile, you remember the day he found out.

“Y/N, I know.” Harrison spoke vaguely as he entered your room, you furrowed your brows as you looked at him.

“What?”

“About Tom.” He said again.

“I-“ You stopped yourself unsure of his reaction. “How did you know?”

“Little sister, I have been aware of his infatuation with you for years, he is my closest friend, I’ve noticed how much happier he is. It didn’t take much for me to figure out something was going on. Then I caught the two of you kissing in the library last week.” He said, smile on his face.

“Wait. You’re not mad?” You asked.

“Mad? No. Does he make you happy?”

“Yes.”

“Then honestly, that is all I care about. Be careful though, mother and father must never find out.”

 Harrison was incredibly supportive, he was much like you, he didn’t believe that you couldn’t have happiness in order to perform your duties. Having Harrison know made it much easier on you and Tom, Harrison helped sneak Tom into your room so he could hold you until you fell asleep, he also made sure Tom was gone from your room before anyone else arrived.

  “I asked if you wanted to go for walk down by the river next week.” Oliver smiled, there was something off about him, you just couldn’t put your finger on it. His smile was sweet but almost sickly sweet, like he was forcing it but not in the way as though he was uncomfortable, it was strange and you couldn’t put your finger on it.

“Are you asking me on a date?” You said, almost bored.

“Yes, I suppose I am.” There was that smile again, almost as though it had an ulterior motive behind it.

“I will think about it.” You said.

“She will go.” Your mother interrupted.

“What?” You protested. “I just said I will think about it.” You snapped.

“You are being rude.” She snapped back.

“Forgive me but I do not see how that was rude. I said I would consider a date with him, I did not insult the man.” You snarled, Harrison laughed and concealed it with a cough.

“That is enough.” Your mother suddenly stood from her seat. “I apologise for my daughters incredibly bad manners Oliver. I will be in touch later in the week but right now I believe we need a family meeting. Y/N, Harrison, study now.” She snapped angrily as she made her way out of the room, you, Harrison, and your father in tow.

You all made your way into the study, your mother angrily slamming the door behind you all.

“You have read too many story books. Life for a Princess does not play out as those children’s stories do. You do not marry for love, you marry because it is expected of you and you marry to carry on the family name and lineage. I have heard enough of your excuses and we shall be choosing your suitor promptly.” Your mother spat at you as tears slipped from your eyes. You were thankful your parents didn’t know about Tom and what you’d been up to.

“But mother-“

“That is enough! I have stood by and watched you make a mockery of this Royal family for long enough, you will be like your brother, you will behave and you will get married by the end of the year.” She interrupted as she made her way out of the room.

“Father, please.” You pleaded with your father, he looked guilty for a second before he composed himself.

“My daughter, I have always wanted what is best for you. I have always wanted you to be happy but your mother is right, you cannot continue this path of rejecting every man who asks. It is decided, we shall be choosing who you marry.” He said as he followed your mother out of the room, leaving you and Harrison stood there.

“Harrison, what do I do?” You cried as your brother took you into his arms and tried to comfort you. “I love him.” You concluded and Harrison nodded.

“We’ll figure this out, I promise. If I was King, I’d allow it.” He clenched his jaw. “You deserve to be happy but we need to be smart about this. If you and Tom have any shot at a future, we have to be smart about this.”

You found yourself in your room that evening crying uncontrollably. You heard a soft knock at your door as you tried to compose yourself. You got up from your bed as you answered the door to be met with Harrison.

“I thought you could use a pick me up, don’t worry no one knows we’re here.” You furrowed your brows in confusion before Harrison practically shoved Tom into your room, shutting the door quickly. You looked at Tom for a second before you felt the tears again, you couldn’t control yourself as you practically fell into his arms and cried into his chest, his arm wrapping around your waist as his other ran through your hair.

“Hey, hey, hey. What’s happened?” He asked as he held you.

“My mother, she’s insisting that I marry, she’s going to chose a suitor and I don’t want her to. Tom, I want you.” You cried and he held you tighter.

“Baby, you knew as well as I did that this couldn’t last forever. You were always someone I could never truly have, not forever.” He said into your hair and you only cried harder.

“It’s just not fair.”

“I know it’s not fair but it’s the reality, I’m sorry Princess.”

“But Tom, I love you.” You said as you pulled back and sniffled, wiping your nose. It was the first time you’d said it out loud but it was the truth, you truly did love him. He smiled sadly at you before picking you up and moving onto the bed with you, cuddling you into his chest, you felt safe, almost happy to be back in his arms.

“I love you too Princess. I always have.” He said and like you, this was the first time he’d said the words. “It sounds harsh on those women but they could never fill the void you created. I don’t think I’ve known a moment in my life where you haven’t consumed my thoughts.” He spoke and your heart warmed, he felt the same.

“I don’t care what happens Tom, I really don’t. I want you and I’m going to try and find a way to keep you.” You said as your tears subsided and he pulled you closer.

“Even if we’re not together Princess, you’ll always have a part of me. You’ll never truly lose me.” He whispered as you felt a wave of tiredness wash over you, letting yourself fall fully into the comfort of his arms.

“I’ll find a way Tom.” You whispered.

“Shh.” He whispered back, hand running through your hair as you fought to stay awake. “Get some sleep Princess. I always knew I couldn’t have you forever but I sure as hell will cherish what we have together forever.” He whispered into your hair as you succumbed to sleep.

**

Taglist: @allthisfortommy , @bi-lmg , @bigassnocash , @thoughtfulfireangelpersona , @aidinniram , @minejungwoo , @hommyy-tommy , @nellabellaa 

If you would like to be added to the taglist, please let me know!! 💕

[omgrachwrites]

The Princess and The Duke - Chapter Nineteen

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: As the Princess of Spain, you were always supposed to marry King James of England to make an alliance between Spain and England. When he marries a woman at his court for love, you are married off to his best friend, Sirius Black the Duke of Bedford to keep the alliance. However, the court is riddled with secrets and a rebel in the North starts to rise against the Throne. Royal AU.

Warnings: fluff, angst

Words: 2596

Disclaimer: This gif don’t belong to me!

A/N: I can’t believe that the next part will be the last one :( thank you guys so much for all your support and love for this series, I couldn’t do this without you! I’ve obviously changed canon for this part, I didn’t want it to be too samey and from the beginning of this, I had a different idea that I changed at the last second because it will be more sad this way, I’m sorry! Hope you guys enjoy this part and please let me know what you think! I love you all! xxx

Chapter Nineteen - This is Halloween

Sirius smiled over at his beautiful wife as she was writing a letter to Sophia, her hand resting on her stomach, it was her due date a couple of days ago, so the baby would be coming any day now. Today it was the Halloween festival and tonight, the King and Queen were going to be throwing a Halloween feast. The court was excited to tell ghost stories on the night when the veil between the living and the dead was the thinnest. After all, there were rumours that the Tower of London was haunted by a Grey Lady.

Tensions were also running high because such an occasion as the Halloween feast would spread among the common people, and Voldemort could attack the castle. However, Dumbledore’s spells had been holding up so far, they had been for more than a year. Sirius trusted him for some reason; he trusted that the outlawed magic would be able to keep them safe.

He called over to Y/N as she folded the letter over, “you’ll have to use your family’s seal, mine is still missing,” he smiled as she nodded over at him. Sirius’ seal had been stolen out of his locked drawer a couple of weeks ago – stolen by somebody who had good skills in lock picking – and it hadn’t been found since.

“Why would anyone want to steal your seal?” she asked, sealing the letter with her own seal, taking Sirius’ hand as he placed it on her shoulder and she kissed across his knuckles.

Sirius smiled as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, “I honestly have no idea, darling. The only people who know where I keep it are my closest friends,” he mumbled more to himself, thinking nothing of it.

But, Sirius noticed Y/N biting her lip, looking nervous, “do you think that anyone had been acting strangely lately?”

He hummed thoughtfully at his wife’s question as he pressed a soft kiss to her perfumed cheek, “hmm, no one I can think of, why?” he asked and he felt Y/N tense in his arms.

“You don’t think that Peter has been acting differently? More nervous?”

Sirius laughed as he dismissed Y/N’s worries, Peter wouldn’t harm a fly if that was what she was worried about, “nervous is his default setting, he can’t get any more nervous, the man is practically scared of his own shadow.”

At his words, he felt Y/N relax slightly as she leaned her head against his arm, her lavender scented hair brushing against his skin, “perhaps you’re right, I’ve just been so worried about everything lately,” Y/N said with a sigh.

She stood up from behind her writing desk and she turned to face him, with a sweet smile she cupped Sirius’ stubbled cheeks and pressed a warm kiss against his lips, curling her fingers through his hair. Sirius smiled against her lips as he kissed her back, they’d been married for a few years now and they were about to have their third child. But he still got butterflies every time she kissed him. Even if it was the merest touch of her lips.

“You have every right to be worried after everything we’ve been through,” he smiled as he pressed his forehead against hers, “but I won’t let anything happen to us, Snivellus has been jailed and he was the traitor, you know that. Everything is going to be alright, we’re going to be fine. Would you like me to take that letter to the courier before I have to leave for the Knighting Ceremony?

Y/N beamed at him as she placed her hands on his chest, “would you? That would be amazing, thank you sweetheart.”

“Of course, darling. I love you,” he pressed a kiss to her cheek and she grinned back at him.

“I love you too.”

Sirius smiled and was on his way out of his chambers when Y/N called his name, causing him to stop in his tracks. When he glanced over his shoulder he was surprised to see that Y/N was holding up his seal. He frowned at her and tilted his head in confusion, “I found it in a couple of drawers down. Maybe you just misplaced it?”

Sirius shook his head, “no, I searched everywhere, I tore that desk apart trying to find it, it had definitely been stolen.”

Y/N let out an exasperated sigh, “what in God’s name is going on?”

Sirius was still pondering on that question as he made his way down the hallways, on the way to give Y/N’s letter to the courier. On his way back, he noticed that Peter was standing on the battlements of the castle, looking off into the distance, almost like he was waiting for something.

“Pete?” Sirius called out, frowning when Peter jumped a mile high and swivelled his head to look at Sirius, “are you ready to leave for the Knighting Ceremony?”

Peter nodded, his watery eyes darting back and forth, refusing to look Sirius in the eye, “of course, let’s go,” Peter offered him a tight smile. Sirius could see what Y/N meant, he did look more nervous than usual. Shaking his head, Sirius and Peter started down the corridor, making idle small talk as they reached the Throne Room.

As Sirius walked into the candle lit room, he winced at the sweet sickly smell of the ceremonial candles. Knighting somebody always felt like a holy ceremony and Sirius supposed that it was, because James had been put on the throne of England by God himself. Sirius watched as the shaking young boy approached the throne and kneeled at the King’s feet. The boy, Arthur, was barely older than sixteen and he was about to become a protector of the realm. Sirius remembered just how nervous he had been at his own Knighting Ceremony.

James looked down at the nervous boy benevolently as he began the ceremonial vows, “do you promise to serve your liege lord in valour and faith? Do you promise to protect the weak and defenceless, live by honour and respect the honour of women?”

Arthur spoke up in a shaking voice, “I solemnly swear to do this.”

James smiled as he moved the sword from Arthur’s left shoulder to his right, “then it is my great honour to dub thee, Sir Arthur, Knight of England and Wales. Arise, Sir,” James helped Arthur to his feet and the golden haired boy turned to face the court, grinning when the court cheered for him, he now looked far older than his years.

Sirius chuckled as he clapped Arthur on the shoulder, “congratulations, I look forward to protecting the realm with you.”

Arthur beamed as he inclined his head, “thank you, my Lord. As am I,” Arthur smiled as he took the arm of a pretty young woman and departed from the room with her.

Sirius grinned as James took off his crown and got up from his Throne, “that was a great ceremony, James.”

James shrugged nonchalantly, “had to be done, the boy deserved it,” he smiled, “how is Y/N? Wasn’t it her due date a couple of days ago?”

Sirius nodded, thinking about his poor wife, she just wanted to bring their baby into the world soon, “she’s doing well, thank you. She’s just getting a little impatient now,” Sirius chuckled, “I should get back to her, because I want to be at her side this time.”

“Of course,” James nodded and clapped Sirius on the shoulder, “you must go to her, Lily and I will see you tonight.”

“Your Majesty,” Sirius bowed his head as he departed from the Throne Room.

On the way back to Y/N, he noticed that Peter was whispering in the hallways, Sirius couldn’t see the face of whoever Peter was talking with, for he was shrouded in a cloak. Peter was pointing to the North wing of the castle, where the royal chambers were situated. Sirius felt a heavy sense of foreboding in his stomach and Sirius was intent on interrupting them.

However, the voice of a servant spoke in Sirius’ ear before he could make his way over to Peter, “My Lord,” the voice was filled with panic and Sirius turned to face the servant.

“What is it?”

“It’s your wife, my Lord. She’s gone into labour.”

Sirius gasped, straight away all other thoughts flooded from his mind until he thought of nothing but, Y/N, “take me to her,” he demanded, striding down the corridor after the servant, forgetting all about Peter and his mysterious guest.

-------------------------------------------

You had been in your chambers humming to yourself as you picked out a silken dress with accessories to match for the Halloween feast that evening when you felt a searing pain shoot through your stomach. The pain knocked the wind right out of you and you clenched your fists on the end table as you cried out and then you felt the dam inside you burst, and you knew that you were going into labour with your third child. There was no denying it.

“Andromeda!” you called out, your voice a high pitched whine.

Seconds later, Andromeda scurried into the room and looked at you all hunched over, “God, Y/N! Should I get Sirius?” her eyes were wide and you could tell by the tone of her voice that she was panicking. Though, that didn’t make you feel better. You were just thankful that Johnathan and Elena were being taken care of by Remus and his wife, Mary.

“No,” you gasped as you felt another contraction and you gritted your teeth against the pain, “there’s no time, just get me to a midwife, this little one wants to come out now.”

Andromeda nodded as she helped you out of your chambers and into the hallway, “take deep breaths for me, can you do that, Y/N? Just like we practiced, do you remember?” her voice was calmer now and in turn, that made you feel better.

You nodded as you took in deep breaths, crying out at the searing pain, “I want Sirius,” you sobbed, “I want him.”

Andromeda nodded as she rubbed your back, “he’ll be at your side, Y/N. I promise,” as you passed a servant who looked at you with wide eyes, Andromeda called out to him, “you! Find the Duke of Bedford and tell him that his wife has gone into labour! Quickly, bring him to the birthing chamber!”

The servant nodded, “of course,” he squeaked before running off down the hallway.

“Thank you, Andromeda,” you gasped, clutching at your stomach.

“You’re welcome,” Andromeda gave you a kind smile as you both hurried to the birthing chamber.

You dearly wished that it was appropriate for you to give birth in your own chambers; you knew that you would be more comfortable. As soon as Andromeda helped you into the birthing chamber, the scent of lavender hit your nose. Apparently, it was supposed to calm you but at the moment, nothing but the sight of your husband could truly calm you. You had barely been situated onto the bed when Sirius came bursting into the room.

It was inappropriate for a husband to be at his wife’s side as she gave birth but seeing Sirius’ handsome – but worried – face made you feel better, “my love,” Sirius got to his knees at your bedside and took your hands in his, “I’m here, my darling,” he stroked your hair and you squeezed tightly at his hand.

“I can’t do this,” you cried, you were exhausted already and you’d hardly even started.

“You can sweetheart, I know you can, you’ve done this twice before. I know you can do it once more, beautiful.”

The midwife looked up at you with an urgent expression on her face, “you have to do this, Duchess, you have to start pushing. If you don’t, you’ll be putting your child at risk, and you don’t want that, do you?”

“No,” you sobbed, “no, I don’t want them to be at risk,” with the first push, the longest few hours of your life began.

Hours later, you lay exhausted with your baby boy in your arms as Sirius sponged your forehead with cool water, and you looked up at him lovingly. He had been such an amazing help, you couldn’t gave gotten through this without him.

“I love you,” you whispered.

Sirius grinned and kissed your forehead, stroking through your hair, “I love you too, you’re incredible and I love our son, he’s so beautiful,” he teared up as he lovingly gazed down at your sleeping son.

You smiled as you looked at the little boy in your arms, “he is,” you agreed, “would you like to hold him?”

Sirius wiped the tears of joy from his cheeks and nodded, “yes please,” his voice broke and you smiled as you passed your son over to his father. Sirius sniffled as he kissed his son on his forehead, whispering against his soft skin, “I love you little one.”

You curled one hand around Sirius’ arm as you leaned your head against his arm, looking up at his gorgeous profile. You bit your lip as you brought up the name that you wanted to give your son, “I wanted to call him Reggie, is that okay?”

Sirius looked up at you with wide eyes, his eyes were soft and warm as he smiled and pressed a kiss against your forehead, you felt his tears wet against your cheeks, “that’s more than okay, Reggie would have absolutely loved us calling our son after him. He’d always joke about it when he was alive,” there was a bittersweet look on his face as he looked down at baby Reggie, “he looks like a Reggie,” Sirius chuckled.

You nodded in agreement as you threaded your fingers through Sirius’ hair, “he really does,” you laughed tiredly as you looked at the huge grandfather clock, “we still have time to make the feast, it hasn’t even started yet.”

“Absolutely not,” Sirius gave you a protective smile, “you’ve just given birth, I’m sure that James and Lily won’t hold it against us if we can’t make it.”

A few minutes passed where you sat with your little family, Andromeda had just left so that Elena and Johnathan could meet their baby brother, suddenly the door burst open and in walked palace guards. You and Sirius exchanged a worried look as Sirius passed Reggie back to you and you felt a strong sense of fear in your stomach.

“Can we help you?” Sirius asked before he was pulled up roughly by the guards.

“Sirius!” you cried out as you glared at the guards, “what do you think you’re doing!”

The guards ignored you as they clapped Sirius in irons, “Sirius Black, The Duke of Bedford, you’re under arrest for high treason! You’ll be spending a couple of days in the dungeon until the King and Queen can arrange your trial but you don’t deserve that kindness!”

“High treason?!” Sirius almost laughed, “I haven’t even done anything to warrant me getting arrested! Y/N!” he called, reaching out for you as he was dragged from the room.

“Sirius!” you screamed and made to get out of bed when the midwife stopped you with a stern look on her face so you had no choice but to lay there with Reggie. You felt like you were in complete and utter turmoil, what had happened while you were giving birth to your child? Whatever it was, Sirius couldn’t be involved because he had been with you the entire time.

-------------------------------------------

@smiithys​ @elayneblack​ @amelie-black​ @siriuslyjanhvi​ @pregnant-piggy​ @lindatreb​ @mabelle-cherie​ @hxrgreeves​ @britishspidey @mads-bri​ @classicrocketqueen​ @sxtansqueen​ @hufflepuffzutara​ @potters-heart​ @bruxa0007​ @ourstarsailor​ @fific7​ @galwithbluethoughts​ @2410slb​ @sunles​ @krismeunicornbaobei​ @theincredibledeadlyviper​ @deathkat657​ @lonegryffindor2005​ @writing-your-heart-out​

[wolvesandpetals]

Postscript. Part 2 of 3.

Loki x Sylvie "Our divorce never went through" Modern AU. Angst, Rated T.

Masterlist of my fics here.

---

He meets her again next week, same place, same time. This time, he doesn't buy coffee, just donuts.

[[MORE]]

She sits down with a fond smile. "You've grown your hair out", she comments, remembering the short brown mop that is now long and black.

His smile is tight, and he doesn't speak. He digs into his briefcase and wordlessly pulls out the papers and a pen.

It hurts how he wouldn't even talk to her, but she knows it's what she deserves.

She picks up the pen, ready to sign and get it over with. The familiar proximity to him, combined with the unfamiliar coldness, makes her feel things she can't quite describe. She feels like she might break in his presence, and she needs to get out fast.

"Don't you want to at least read that first?" He asks, amused.

She shakes her head, and continues signing.

"How do you know I'm not making you sign your possessions away to me?"

"Enough!" She finally snaps. She closes her eyes, willing the tears back. "I was twenty-one, I was scared, and I was foolish. I made a huge mistake. Do you have to keep reminding me of that constantly?"

A solitary tear slips off her left eye, and Loki melts. He is defenseless against her tears, his carefully acquired armour insteantly falling away. He has never been able to see her cry and sit idly by. "I'm sorry." He says at once. He lets out a small, nervous laugh. "I guess I'm still a little bitter. I don't know why. It was so long ago."

She takes in deep breaths, trying to calm herself.

"Do you want something to drink?" He asks hurriedly.

She shakes her head. "That's not a good idea."

He pauses. It's a decision he has to make within the next ten seconds, and he does. He picks up the papers, and puts them back inside his briefcase. Sylvie stares at him, perplexed, as he orders two coffees for them.

He smiles softly. For the first time, she notices the wrinkles that are starting to form around his eyes. Time, it has been kind at least to his physical appearance. "How have you been?"

"I'm okay." She says quietly. "I've been... busy, I guess."

"Travelled the world?" He asks. That was one thing she wanted to do, one reason she wanted out. He told her he'd go with her. "You go, I go", he said. But she didn't believe him.

"Yes." She says sadly. "The world gets old quickly though."

"Really?" He asks, a little surprised.

She nods. "Everywhere I went, I just-" she hesitates. She really doesn't want to confess, it hurts her pride. But this might be the last time she's seeing him, and if she doesn't say it now, she will never get another chance. "I travelled from city to city, country to country, and the only place I wanted to be was back at our old apartment in The South Bank."

He's stunned by her unexpected confession. "I moved." He informs her. "I couldn't stand to be there after you left."

She nods again, forcing a smile on her face. "Did you ever go back?"

"I couldn't." He tells her honestly. "I dropped out of college, as you know, moved in with my brother, and started a business. I've been working on it since."

"What kind of business?" She asks curiosly.

He ignores his lawyer's voice in his head warning him not to disclose anything about his financial situation. "A bar."

She laughs. "You always did love your alcohol."

He chuckles, a hundred memories flashing back.

---

The very first night he saw her was at a bar. She was with her friends, and he was with his, and he asked for her number. He kept texting her right from the moment, until his friends teased him mercilessly and he had to pause for a while. They talked till 4 am that night, till his cell phone died.

Their first kiss was also at a bar. They were out with their friends, drunk out of their minds, and though they had both agreed to take it slow, she cornered him near the basins and pleaded. "I can't." And he understood. He felt it too, the need to crash his lips against hers.

"You're mine." He had told her one everning, while she rested her feet on his lap and leaned back against her chair. She had nodded, flushed. Right there in the open rooftop bar, she knew, she would never be the same again.

"I need you." And off to his dorm it was.

---

"What about you?" He asks.

"I am a stunt coordinator now." She says proudly.

It's his turn to laugh now. "You always did love your daggers."

There's a silence that's comfortable, and Loki takes a moment to steal a glance at her. She's still just as beautiful as he remembers, and it hurts.

"How are your parents?" He asks.

"Fine." She says with a smile. "How are yours?"

"Same." He doesn't elaborate. He always had a strained relationship with his father, and that hasn't changed.

Sylvie steadies herself before she asks the next question. "And is there a future Mrs Loki in the picture?"

He shakes his head. "No."

"Really?" She asks, surprised. "I'd imagine there would be a line of men and women."

"Yes. There have been a few." He confesses, and she feels her heart sink, until he speaks again. "But nothing real."

She nods, knowing exactly what he means. "It's been the same for me." She tells him honestly.

The waitress calls his name, and he gets up to grab their coffees. Sylvie watches him leave, his silhouette the sole object of her focus as everything else fades away, and suddenly she realises exactly what has been missing from her life.

Loki hands her the coffee. Sylvie takes a sip, burning her tongue a little.

They used to do this every single morning in the campus. Meet for coffee, talk about everything and anything in the world. It was their thing. She hasn't been able to have a cup without thinking of him ever since.

"Thor's married now." He says, rekindling the conversation.

"Sif?"

He shakes his head. "Jane. He met her a few years ago."

Sylvie stares into the brown of her coffee, stirring it and watching it swirl, like the thoughts in her head. She never thought Thor would marry someone other than Sif, but she guesses people are replaceable.

She is irreplaceable.

One day soon, Loki would marry someone that isn't her. The thought hurts more than it should ten years later.

It hurts to look at him and feel the same surge of feelings that are supposed to have gone away. After all, it was her decision to end things, and she has no right to feel this way now.

She wonders if he-

"Do you remember Mobius?" He asks abruptly, before she has a chance to truly indulge in the thoughts in her head.

How can she forget? He was a senior, and one of Loki's best friend.

"You'll never guess what he does for a living." Loki says, grinning.

They used to play the guessing game, and she'd always lose, but she wants to try nevertheless. "FBI Agent?"

"No." He says, his grin widening.

"Boy band manager?" She tries again. Finally, her eyebrows rise in curiosity, signalling her defeat.

He looks excited as he says the words. "Jetsky salesman."

"No way!" She laughs. "Those things still exist?"

"According to him, they do." He joins her laughter. "According to him, they sell."

"I don't believe him." She says bluntly.

"Neither do I." He agrees.

She glances at him, then at the campus grounds outside the window. There are more trees now, and more students, and more shops with "Free WiFi" signs. "This place has changed quite a lot."

"Ten years." He whispers. "Everything changes. You've changed."

She knows she has. But she's curious to see the changes in the eyes of someone who once knew her best. "Me? How?"

He shrugs. "You're... less wild now."

She snorts. "I assure you, I'm not."

"Less headstrong then." He corrects. "Less impulsive."

She doesn't respond, doesn't tell him he's right. Instead, she says, "You've changed too. Less... mischievous."

She's right. When she left, she took that part of him with her. For the next few months, he was severely depressed, barely coping. Mischief was the last thing on his mind.

He takes the final sip from his cup, and hers is empty too. He picks them up and throws them in the nearby bin, and the dreaded moment arrives again. He pulls the papers out once more, and she steadies herself.

"Do you ever wonder..." She stares into the distance, unable to look him in the eyes. "What would have happened if we had met a few years later? When we were older and wiser?"

"All the time", he admits. He has pictured a hundred different scenarios in his head over the years, where they stumble upon each other, and their romance awakens one more time. He also pictures scenarios in which they meet differently, and at nights, while he locks up his bar, sometimes he can picture her walking in for one last drink.

"I'm sorry." She tells him sincerely. "I shouldn't have given up on us so quickly."

"We wouldn't have made it if we kept going." He counters. "It would be toxic. We would have resented each other more."

"Do you resent me any less, though?" Her voice is timid, young.

"I don't resent you, Sylvie." He clarifies. "I just... I just don't think I can relive that hurt again. It was the worst phase of my life."

She nods, and picks up the pen, ready to sign. He places a hand over hers, stopping her, and she knows he feels the familiar jolt of electricity too, but neither of them dare to comment on it. "I'm sorry too." He tells her sincerely. "We got married too young. I shouldn't have proposed so soon."

She gives him a tiny smile, and continues signing away. He looks at the menu on the wall, so that he isn't staring at her. He reads the name of each item but comprehends nothing at all, his mind focused on one thing and only one thing.

It takes less than ten minutes for her to sign all the papers and for him to put it away in his briefcase. They both get up, knowing it's time to go their separate ways again.

"Take care of yourself", she says, teary-eyed.

And he can't help it. He can't resist the temptation to hold her in his arms one last time. He hugs her, tentatively at first, then tighter when she reciprocates. It lasts longer than what is appropriate for two people who are now strangers. When they part, tears are falling down her cheeks and clouding up his eyes.

"Take care of yourself, too." He tells her, his voice hoarse with emotions he's struggling to hold back. He holds out the door for her this time, and walks her to her car, and for the second time in his life, watches her drive away from him forever.

(To be continued. Don't kill me.)

[theamberwriter]

Ficmas Day 1: One More Sleep [Tenya Iida]

Pairing: ProHero!Tenya Iida x Fem!Reader

Song: One More Sleep by Leona Lewis

Word Count: 5.4k

A/N: I tried to get this done a few days ago, but I was just so tired 😭 Anyway, I hope that you guys like it!

~

Tenya rubbed his eyes groggily, staring at the ceiling. He rolled over to look at the clock on the nightstand. 3:43 AM. How frustrated he was by this. He should've been asleep hours ago. He sat up, deciding it was no good. Sleep wouldn't come, not until you were here by his side.

    He checked his phone for the date. December 21th. Four. More. Days. Five more grueling, restless nights. Tenya figured he should've been used to this. Spending time apart. Your relationship had been that way since the beginning. You traveled for work while he stayed put. Doing the hero gig he'd always dreamed of.

    But now - so close to Christmas - it was impossible to think of anything else but you. Here. In the bed you'd spend nearly a year deciding on because he insisted you had to look at all the options first. Your side was barely worn. It made his heart ache in ways he was too stubborn to admit.

    Tenya wondered if it's be too cruel to ask you to stop. To stop traveling. To stay put, just for a little while. No more calling at wild hours. No more flickering signals or long distance fees. Just you and him. Together in the home that you'd bought. The place you made love and fought and kissed endlessly to make up for lost time.

    But when was enough, enough?

    He swung his feet out of bed, put on his glasses, and slid on his slippers. A blue bathrobe hung from the best post. It was one you'd bought him last year from somewhere over seas. You had said it reminded you of his eyes. Apparently you'd worn it considerably before gifting it. It was drenched in your scent by the time it reached his hands. The collar smelled like your shampoo, the rest of smelling of your favourite spray. You'd bashfully admitted you wore it because you missed him. And this one little thing made you feel closer.

    Your smell had been washed from it by now. But he silently wished it was still there as he put it on. He only flicked on a few lights as he made his way to the kitchen. A warm cup of tea on a cold, snowy night sounded wonderful. Tenya looked out at the piling snow as he waited for the water to boil.

    He worried your flight would get delayed. Or worse – it'd be put off until after the storm passed. Sure, he'd video chatted you early that evening. But he felt like he'd die if he had to wait even a single day more than he already had to. He ran a hand through his hair. What a funny thing love was.

    Tenya had never expected you to come into his life. He never really expected to share love with anyone. It was just another thing his brother talked sweetly of. Telling him, “Tenya, you'll know when she's the one.” Tenya breathed his brother's every word like gospel.

    Except for that one.

    What had Tensei meant by you'll know – it wasn't very informative. It didn't help too much. It only kept him guessing as he passed attractive women. Until Tenya found you. It wasn't love at first sight. Not entirely. But the first words he thought when he saw your face? I just found my wife.

    It had been such a nauseating, powerful experience. One little glance as you said 'hello' from your new spot at a desk in his agency. Tenya had rushed away, and left out the back so he wouldn't have to pass you again.

    It was the single most powerful moment in his life.

    Many things had changed over the years. You were one of those earth shattering experiences for him. Breaking open the egg that was the world. Showing him more than he would've thought possible. Four years ago, that thought that he'd fall in love with a stranger and get married to them just two years after would've seemed ridiculous. But here you two were.

    You worked as a travel writer. Going to exotic places. Trying new things. Meeting new people. While Tenya was living his dream. Fulfilling his brother's legacy as Ingenium. He never thought being alone could feel so hollow and bitter and cold. He'd never really felt lonely when he was alone, until you two made a home together. Tenya worried that home was too boring for you. Surely it had to be after seeing so much of the world. It gnawed at him. No matter how much reassurance you gave him that coming back home to him was always the best part of the trip.

    Tenya contemplated his tea as he poured in the water. Watching as a deep red color soaked out from the leaves. Only four more days, he kept reminding himself. Five more nights, and she'll be with you. But the mantra didn't help at all.

    Tenya went to his reading chair by the window. Yours was next to his, a table separating them. Your side was stacked with books. Even your chair had a few on it. Bookmarks spouted from a few. Tenya was sure you'd never finish them. But watching you try was endearing nonetheless. Your wedding picture sat on the table, along with a vase of your favourite flowers. He went every day to get one while you were away.

    He counted twenty three. Twenty three flowers. Twenty three days apart. But only four more until you were back in his arms. Until he could kiss you and hold you. Feel your warm skin against his own. They'd made you stay longer, so you'd have writing material through the first of the year. Didn't they know you had a husband and a dog to get back home to?

    That picture encapsulated the best day of his life. A face splitting grin on his own. You wore a goofy smile because he'd made you laugh. Tenya cried when he saw you come down the aisle. Though he desperately tried to hide them. You teased him later about that. He simply covered you with kisses.

    A small lump formed in Tenya's throat as he watched your dog slump sadly down onto the floor in front of your chair. He rolled his eyes up at Tenya and whined, his tail wagging only once. Things just weren't the same with you away. Tenya blew on his tea with a sigh.

    “I know boy, I miss her, too,” he said softly. Then took a sip. The hot tea did nothing to warm the cold that settled in him.

    Only four. More. Days.

    Tenya didn't sleep much after that. Dozing on the couch until the morning light woke him up. He was very stiff and chilled to the bone. Like someone had left a window open. Tenya searched the house, simply pushing the heater up when he found no cause for alarm.

    Tenya was very surprised as he let the dog out. The snow was ludicrously high. Five feet, give or take. He was willing to say give. Your poor pooch could barely get down to use the bathroom. Tenya just knew he was going to have to shovel a path for him.

    Was his ideal morning bundled up and shoveling snow? He was fairly sure that no body's was. But he diligently donned his his coat, hat, scarves, gloves, and snow boots. Being a good dog father and shoveling a path down into the yard.

    Tenya chuckled at the thought of you out here last year in the snow. A hair dry plugged into the side of the house. He yelled at you about the hazard, trying to argue that a hair dryer was not the most efficient way the clear snow. You started a snow ball fight after that. You'd both gone in drenched, and took a nice, hot, steamy shower together. His body tingled warmly at the thought, his face (and quite a few other places) feeling hot.

    After shoveling, it was shower time. Then he made himself and the dog breakfast (yes, he makes the dog's food because he is a very good doggy daddy). After was time to tend to all the chores he'd been putting off in the wake of his depression. This included wrapping your gifts. Tenya knew you'd be home for Christmas, but it'd been too painful to wrap them before. Between his loneliness and the excitement that bubbled in him at the thought of you coming home in a few days, he felt numb but jittery. One canceling the other out.

    And there was still so much to do.

    Ochaco and Izuku had accidentally, inadvertently invited themselves over for Christmas. They wanted to throw a party. And somehow Tenya had gotten wrapped up in it all. He hadn't been able to get a hold of you to try and talk them down. So he did the responsible thing and said he'd take care of it all. They gushed about what to bring and who to invite, he just had to take care of the house and making sure everything was perfect. He supposed this was a sort of coming home celebration for you, so it didn't annoy him quite as much.

    Tenya measured the dimensions each and every package he wrapped. Then he measured the wrapping paper. The process was tedious, but it ensured every piece of paper was used to the fullest. He pulled off the smallest pieces of tape that he possibly could, so he didn't waste the roll. Honestly, Tenya thought of how you might react as you opened them all. The excitement, the embarrassment, the sheer happiness that he wanted so much to bring you. He'd gone overboard, sure. But you were worth every penny. And all the burnt fingers. The thing he'd tried to make you did not go as well as he wanted. But Tenya just knew you were going to love it.

    After wrapping, he figured having a nice tree to put them under would help. He'd only gone out and bought one. Nothing was decorated. That was something you two usually did together. There wasn't a tinkle of a light anywhere to be seen. Though he knew Ochaco and Izuku expected the place to look as warm and cozy as it always did this time of year.

    The decorations were stored in a closet under the stairs. You had made it a giant Janga tower. Honestly, Tenya was a little scared to pull everything out. If he was crushed to death by decorations, no body would know for days. He studied your tower for a while. Thinking about when you'd put them in. You had struggled tremendously. He'd just chuckled. Tenya always thought everything you did was endearing. In it's own sort of way. In the love touched way.

    When Tenya was sure nothing was going to fall, he started to pull things out and organize them into piles. Garland, ornaments, outside lights, indoor lights, the tree angel, upstairs decorations, table runners, stockings – he sprinted through the house as he sorted. He planned to start upstairs, then work his way down.

    By the time he finished the upstairs it was early evening. He'd missed lunch, stopping only briefly to feed the dog. Now it was dinner time. He had no gumption to cook, though. So he heated up leftovers and sat at the table. Tenya stared at your empty chair as he ate. It was made up with a place mat, and a book, and your favourite mug.

    Three more days.

    It surprised him in the morning when there was a ring at the doorbell. Tenya had been up, working slowly at things around the house. He wasn't planning on company. Nor for Ochaco and Izuku to be standing behind the door. They had their own bags and piles of things in their arms. They grinned widely at him.

    “What a surprise,” Tenya said, then moved aside. “Come in out of the snow. I hope the roads weren't too bad.”

    They nodded and ducked in. “Thanks!”

    “Most of the snow is melted already,” Ochaco pouted. “Izuku and I built a snowman yesterday, but he was just a pile of mush things morning!”

    Izuku looked around, clearly surprised by the bare walls and shelves and tree. “Tenya, you haven't started decorating yet?”

    Tenya looked away ashamedly. Eyes wandering on their own to a picture of you. His guests' eyes followed. Ochaco's grin dropped.

    “Oh,” she said, putting her stuff down. “You're probably waiting for [Name], right?”

    “Tenya, if you didn't want to have the party, you could've said something,” Izuku insisted.

    Tenya had tried to tell them he didn't want to throw the party. Not at his house anyway. But they were so excited that they didn't listen. “It's fine. [Name] is coming home on Christmas. It'll be nice to have everyone here to welcome her back. I've just been putting it off. I didn't want to decorate alone.”

    Ochaco hugged him tightly. “I'm sorry, Tenya. We're here to help!”

    “Yeah!” Izuku looked disproportionately determined for the task. But Tenya was glad that his friend was as enthusiastic as ever. He needed the energy boost. “We're going to make it amazing for when [Name] comes home! You have nothing to worry about.”

    The pair ran off, doing what, Tenya didn't know. But he sure was glad to have friends like them. They helped him finish decorating downstairs. And he made them lunch. Soon everything was dripping with sparkling lights and garlands and glitter. Three stockings hung on hooks that suctioned to the wall, one for you, one for Tenya, and one for the dog. He hoped to add more stockings in the near future. But how was that going to happen when you were barely home together long enough?

    Ochaco and Izuku treated Iida to dinner that evening. Taking him to a restaurant down the way. They chatted quietly, mostly going over holiday plans.

    “We're going to my parents' on Christmas Eve,” Ochaco noted, looking over the menu. “Then Deku's mom and All Might are coming with us to the party Christmas day. I hope you don't mind.”

    Tenya shook his head. “No, it'll be nice to see them.”

    “Are you doing anything Christmas Eve? You could always come with us,” offered Izuku.

    “I'm going to my parents house. Tensei and his wife will be there.”

    Ochaco's eyes lit up. “I didn't know he got married!”

    “Not too long before I did. She's a lovely woman, and takes very good care of my brother. We're all very grateful to her.” Tensei smiled lightly, thinking about his brother's wedding. It'd been a very beautiful ceremony with many tears. He was best man, and dreaming about the day he was going to propose to you.

    They ate and talked and laughed. For just a little while, Tenya felt like himself. Izuku and Ochaco walked him back home. It was dark now, and cold bit through their coats.

    “Oh, before we go – I have invites for you to pass out at your agency.” Ochaco produced a stack of envelopes from her pocket. “Could you give them out next time you go in?”

    “I managed to get a few days off to prepare for [Name]'s arrival, but I can run them in tomorrow,” Tenya said, taking the stack.

    “Let us know when you're back,” said Izuku. “We'll help you decorate the outside.”

    Tenya shook his head. “You've already done so much, I couldn't ask for more.”

    “It's really no problem. We don't mind helping.”

    “Very well, then.” Tenya nodded. “I'll see you tomorrow.”

    As Tenya shut himself in for the night he sighed, leaning his head back against the door.

    Just two more days.

    Tenya set off bright and early the next morning. The air was still frosty and the sky looked like it wanted to flood the ground with more white. He was going to try and make this trip quick. He'd been getting increasingly pitying looks. He didn't want to hang around long, to see their eyes boring holes in him.

    He hesitated at the doors, watching as his breath floated up to the sky. Even with gloves on, it felt like the cold seeped through from the door handle. Tenya didn't bother going to his office. He stopped at the front desk. The woman there smiled up at him.

    “Good morning, Mr. Ingenium,” she greeted. “How can I help you?”

    “I need you to distribute these to all of the staff and heroes,” he said, pulling a large stack of envelopes from his coat. He'd spent the entire night trying to remember all of the staff at his agency.

    “Can do.” She took the envelopes. But she didn't shift her gaze. “You look tired, sir. Are you doing okay?”

    “There's a lot to do, is all. My wife will be home in a few days.” Tenya cleaned his glasses, looking for an excuse to break eye contact.

    “Right,” she bit curtly. “Your wife.”

    Tenya leaned on the counter, hoping to charm her with a smile. He was far too tired for this today. He was going to have to hire a new secretary sometime soon. “Izumi, it would mean a lot if you could pass these out to everyone. I'd be very grateful.”

    The woman softened. “Anything you want, sir.”

    He nodded. “Thank you.”

    Tenya left swiftly, before he had to endure anymore one sided flirting. The distaste his secretary expressed for his wife got tiresome. Along with her not-so-subtle hints for him to have an affair with her. He had more important things to worry about. Like making sure you came home to a magical display.

    “Izuku,” he started, phone to his ear as he walked down the road. “I just left I should be home....soon....”

    “Okay Tenya!” Izuku cheered from the other side. Then there was a long pause. “Tenya?”

    But the man was distracted by the window he was passing. “I'll call you back when I get to the house.”

    “Wait, is something wro –”

    Tenya hung up, staring at the window display. It was perfect. It was just what he was looking for to top off the season. You were going to love it. He rushed in, demanding the display in the window. He wasn't usually the type. But he was just too excited. The clerks gently packaged it, tying neat bows around the box. Tenya had to stop himself from sprinting full force down the road.

    He rushed a message to Izuku when he got home. But there was no hope of sitting still for him. By the time Ochaco and Izuku got there, he'd already had half the outside decorated. He was on the roof, hooking up the lights. He waved down at them.

    Ochaco floated up the rest of the boxes for the roof. Izuku nearly floated away as he tried to help finish the lights. Tenya caught him and hauled him down. It felt like they were back in UA as students with the ensuing chaos.

    Tenya treated the pair to a home made dinner. They had a few drinks and some laughs. But honestly, he just wanted to chug through the next few days. Today was the twenty third. Two more days to Christmas. Two more days to you coming home.

    The trio examined their handy work when the sun went down. The house glowed and twinkled. It really did look like a winter wonderland. Tenya just knew you were going to love it. He was looking forward to seeing your face as you watched the display they made.

    Just a few more days.

    The morning of the twenty fourth was a lazy one. He didn't want to get out of bed. Tenya wanted to lay there until the following night. When you'd be there with him. To finally warm the thorough chill that hadn't left him in days.

    But eventually he pulled himself up, going to the vase in the living room.

    “Twenty five,” he muttered, slipping a flower in. “Twenty six....you'll have a very big bouquet this time, [Name].”

    Tenya set to breakfast. He'd lost all his fire from yesterday. He was a tired shell now. He was so sure you were going to love what he found for you. But now one, long agonizing day laid ahead of him. The house was decorated, inside and out. Presents were wrapped. The tree was ready. Filled to the brim with perfectly packaged gifts, awaiting your arrival.

    Tomorrow would be the party. You'd arrive after dark, hopefully with people still around to greet you. You wouldn't have to worry about a thing. Ochaco and Izuku were going to take care of all the other little details. All of the invites read a potluck and BYOB. In the meantime, he had to wait the day out. The only thing he had to look forward to distract him was seeing his family later that evening.

    Christmas morning was to be lonely. Then, by three, the house would start filling up. By eight, you should be walking up the front entrance. By 8:01, you'd be in his arms and smothered in kisses. With any luck, you'd be making love by midnight.

    Tenya went out and shoveled snow again. More than two feet had fallen in the night. The more snow that fell, the more he worried the weather was going to be too rough for your plane. He needed you, sooner rather than later preferably.

    The day seemed to crawl away. Only a few minutes had passed every time he glanced at the clock. Had it always been so difficult to entertain himself? He'd already showered, made lunch, brushed snow meticulously from the front porch and back deck. He uncovered all of the decorations he'd put up the day before.

    He was impatient by the time he had to leave to see his family. Even the ride there drove him crazy. The road seemed to stretch. The cars squeezing from every side. Would the tedium ever cease?

    As the evening with his family began, he discovered it would not. Even as he laughed with his parents and brother, as he listened to stories and shared a few. His eyes never left his watch for long. It didn't go unnoticed, but it was left unmentioned. Just a look exchanged around him.

    They knew, of course. That he counted down every second until he'd see you again. The light and fire you brought into his life was wonderful to see. But how they wished you didn't leave so much.

    Tenya went to bed when he got home. But sleep didn't come. Not for a very long time. He tried to force himself asleep, just a single thought leaping in his head.

    One. More. Night.

    A new tickle of joy danced in his chest as he realized the day. Christmas. You were going to be home. He was going to be counting down the hours until he saw you.

    Tenya zipped through his morning. Shoveling the fresh few inches of snow. Hand making the dog's food for the next week. Making breakfast for himself, showering, and pulling out the outfit you'd picked over video call a week ago. Just a red sweater with stripes and snowflakes and charcoal grey slacks. He spent time cleaning, making sure every inch was dusted.

    He had his fire back – until he checked his phone just after lunch.

[NAME] (Wife)

My plane is being delayed. I won't be home until tomorrow. I'm so sorry, my love, I wanted to be home for Christmas. So, very much....

    Tenya felt a little bit of himself break. He slumped in his reading chair, phone discarded on the table. He stared blankly ahead of him. His worst fear had come true. One more day had turned into two. And with this snow, two could easily turn into three or four.

    Ochaco and Izuku came not too long after. They knocked on the door, rang the door bell. The dog barked. Eventually they tried the handle, letting themselves in. They exchanged a worried look as they spied their friend. They could see the hollowness of his eyes.

    “Tenya...?” Ochaco whispered.

    “She's not coming,” he muttered numbly.

    Izuku put a hand on Tenya's shoulder. “What do you mean?”

    “[Name]'s flight – it's been delayed. She won't be home until tomorrow....” Tenya could barely scrap his eyes to his phone. He didn't want to look at it. To see anything else that might ruin him.

    “But she'll be home, at least.”

    “You don't understand. You two have each other. Tensei will be spending the holiday with his wife. And I have her. If [Name] isn't here....”

    Izuku and Ochaco glanced at each other again.

    “We'll still have a good time, Tenya,” Ochaco said, trying to cheer him up.

    “Yeah, people will start to be here soon! You won't even know she's missing!” Then Izuku began to panic. “Not that we don't want her here. But maybe getting your mind off of her will help. Not that you shouldn't miss your wife on a holiday but –”

    Tenya chuckled. At least something was normal. Izuku eased some at the sound. He and Ochaco set up the kitchen, while Tenya put away anything he didn't want broken. You never knew if someone was going to get rowdy.

    As the first people showed up, the booze flooded in. Tenya had only meant to have one. But he was having a self-pity streak. One became two, two became three. Different Christmas mixes that people brought, some made right in his kitchen; homemade egg nogs, and Christmas cocktails, holiday ciders. He claimed they were just to try. Normally, he'd be following people around. Putting down coasters, ensuring that they didn't slosh on the couch, making sure no one was scuffing up the floors. But Izuku was already doing a pretty good job of that. Probably to make sure Tenya didn't have to worry. But it left him too idle.

    Tenya chatted with his co-workers as they came. They complimented his house, saying they wouldn't have expected anything else from an Iida. He went around, greeting everyone. Thanking each person for coming. Each drink numbing just slightly more. He spent a good deal of time talking to Izuku's mom and All Might.

    He was caught in the middle of an inescapable conversation with his insufferable secretary when Izuku came to tap him on the shoulder. His friend pointed towards the entrance to your house. Tenya's eyes followed his arm, going wide at what they found. They swept to the clock on the wall – it only read 5:23. In alarm, he triple checked what he was reading, to be sure he was right. With a puff from his quirk, Tenya launched himself.

    You screamed as he tackled you. He kept you upright, making you didn't fall. Tenya smooshed your face with too many kisses to keep up with. He squeezed you tightly in his arms. You could smell the liquor on him. Since when did he drink? You hoped this wasn't the start of a bad habit.

    “[Name]! You're here!” he exclaimed in disbelief. He held you at arm's length, looking you up and down just to be sure you were real.

    You laughed, nodding. “Yeah!”

    “But your plane –”

    “I – uh – I lied.” You glanced away from him, your face hot. “My flight was actually bumped up. I wanted to surprise you. I wasn't expecting you to get stupid drunk.”

    Tenya sunk to the floor, and pulled you into his lap. He was so cute with his goofy grin and the pink dusting on his cheeks. He rubbed his cheek against yours. Your guests chuckled at the sight. You pulled him in for a long, hard kiss. So glad to finally have him in your arms. You could feel every bit of his body against yours. You had to calm his hands as they roamed freely over your body. They were dipping into places that shouldn't be caressed in public.

    Finally – no more counting the days.

    No more nights between you.

    No more hours to wait.

    You two were together. And it was the sweetest feeling in the world.

    “Why wouldn't I have been upset by the delay?” he rambled. “I've missed you, and I didn't want to think of another day without you here. I needed a little boost. Drinking was perhaps not the best choice.”

    Tenya clung to you all night, never letting you out of his sight. Seeing everyone was lovely. You really couldn't have asked for a better homecoming. The lights he'd put up outside were spectacular. And the warm cozy air your home had taken on was supernatural. Or maybe it was just because you were glad to be home.

    It was nearly midnight when everybody finally left. Ochaco and Izuku had stayed to help you clean. Tenya wouldn't let you go long enough to do anything. You were about to force him upstairs when he stumbled over to the tree.

    “No, no, no – you have to open this. While it's still Christmas. Please,” Tenya pouted, and forced a little black box with a shimmering silver lid into your hand. The childish pout on his face was adorable, but he really should've been getting to bed.

    “Tenya –”

    “Open it.”

    You eyed him suspiciously, but planted yourself on the couch. He adhered himself to your side. He held you closely, head on your shoulder. A red ribbon was tied lovingly around the box. It was always too beautiful to unwrap. You had a suspicion Tenya hadn't done this himself. He packaged things neatly, but aesthetics weren't his forte.

    You pulled the ribbon, then peered into the box. You looked at him, then in the box, then back again.

    “You did not go out and spend a fortune,” you scolded.

    Tenya shrugged. “You deserve the world.”

    “Tenya!” But you couldn't deny it was beautiful.

    It was simple, with a thin silver chain. Hanging from the end was a pendant. It had your birth stone in set on the part where the chain went through. And there was immaculate scroll work around the edges. Tenya took it briefly from your hands, the pressed the sides.

    The front popped open. A lump pressed in your throat. A miniature of your wedding photo was nestled inside the frame. Tenya turned it over, revealing both of your initials along with your wedding date on the back.

    “I left the other half open, for when we have a family of our own,” he muttered drowsily. “I love you more than the world. I'm very happy you're finally home. I'd be very happy if you didn't have to leave again.”

    “I love this. I love you,” you murmured in reply, then turned your head to kiss him.

    You put the locket back in the box, then helped him stand. You hauled Tenya upstairs, and got him changed. He insisted on brushing his teeth, even though he coud barely stand up right. The necklace took up a home on your night stand. You were going to wear this every day that you could. It was your new favourite piece of jewelry.

    Once you were settled into bed, he immediately took you in him arms. He hummed in content.

    “How would you feel about being a secretary?” Tenya slurred, nuzzling his nose into the back of your neck. “I'm going to need a new one soon. Mine is gonna get fired.”

    You sighed. “I actually wanted to talk to about that. I wanted to wait until you were sober. But – I'm going to quit my job. That way I can be home with you. If we want a family....I'm also tired of spending so much time away from you. You can't imagine how lonely the world is without you with me to see it.”

    Tenya sighed. “I want your....baabbeeezzz...”

    You chuckled. “Tenya? - Love?”

    A light snoring told you he was out cold. You smiled to yourself as he snuggled closer to you. You relaxed into him. You'd been waiting for this for ages. Or, it felt like ages anyway. You didn't want to be away from him anymore. Coming home to the one you love? It was amazing. But getting to stay home with them? That was the best Christmas gift you could ask for.

~

[unholyhelbig]

Title: Centerfold [Pt.2]

Ship: Beca Mitchell/ Chloe Beale

(Read Part one here)

Beca Mitchell’s phone was a box of constant communication. She had her emails redirected so that she could feel every single time she needed to address something at the office, even if she was there and the soft pinging culminated in the very screen she stared at. She had a multitude of contacts and would video chat with the team in Italy, and sometimes L.A.

So, what she knew deep down, was that it was impossible for her not to look at her phone all day. Physically she had to check the notifications to keep her world running. Emily intercepted most of them, keeping her deep stare on her own screen before glancing up at her boss every couple of minutes. They were both on edge and Beca didn’t much appreciate the tension that sparked between them.

She held her breathe each time a new ping sounded off until eventually that lull of anxiety was hushed to a dull ache in the pit of her chest. She went through her morning meets and a new presentation to her team about how their coding for a new watch wasn’t up to parr- they had a few days to fix it before it dropped, and the CEO made sure she knew that.

When the notification from Chloe did finally come through, Beca almost didn’t’ notice. She registered the pink of the logo that slowly shifted to a deep purple. But the name? Oh, the name she hadn’t clocked for a few seconds after that. And even then, Chloe Beale? Her Chloe, actually responded.

Beca lilted the computer screen and frantically looked up at Emily, who was already at her door. She didn’t bother to knock. Instead, she situated the office and closed the blinds and very coolly, but not so coolly, pressed her back against the wood and breathed.

“Dude,” Beca said.

“I know,” Emily said “Did you read it?”

She hadn’t read it. She hadn’t even thought to read it because her mind got stuck behind the massive roadblock that was Chloe Beale and her stupid pun username. She opened the application and hesitated over the message icon. She was supposed to be playing it hard to get like she didn’t’ care if she even got a response. But she did care and apparently so did her assistant because she was right behind her, blindly gawking like her halo fell into her eyes and blinded her from right and wrong.

“If I click this she’ll see that I read it and then there’s no going back.”

“You don’t want to go back, do you?”

“You told me to keep her guessing,”

“Truthfully, I didn’t think you’d even get a response.” Emily shrugged sheepishly “Figured you would forget about it in a few days and… open it.”

Beca frowned but hovered the mouse over the message. She wanted to close her eyes but felt like she was watching a car accident, complete with the red and blue flashing lights and the metallic crunch of metal. Either way, she couldn't avert her stare. She didn’t want to.

Chloe: Hey stranger. I must admit that I was never expecting to hear from you again, big shot manager. I’ve kept my tabs on you… New York is my home, so if you’re serious about coffee, so am I.

Her breath caught in her throat. Chloe Fucking Beale had said yes. Her childhood love had agreed to coffee that neither of them could probably stomach. Chloe Fucking Beale who was a playboy model with more than a million Instagram followers, and Chloe Fucking Beale who she was pretty sure she still loved.

There had been other people, men, and women that she had thought she fell for. She folded into soft touches and stronger commands. She was happy for months at a time and on one rare occasion a full year with a man who ran his own tours of the city. But none of those relationships had ever been like the one she had with Chloe.

Beca pulled in a long breath that filled her lungs with stale coffee and copy paper. She tilted her lid and looked to Emily because she was the expert. And Beca was frozen. That same cold excitement filled her and it also rocked her ever-loving shit. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t think.

Emily looked at the darkened screen, then at her boss, then back at the screen before lunging forward and typing back a reply. Perfect. Are you free this Saturday?

It turns out that Chloe was free that Saturday and if she wasn’t, she didn’t’ say a word and quietly cleared her schedule. The day was quickly approaching and Beca really wanted to know why the New York Branch put her in charge of everything when she could barely figure out what to wear to a simple cup of coffee.

This felt more like a simple cup of coffee.

Emily eventually got tired of the barrage of pictures she was getting and took a cab to Beca’s apartment an hour before the actual date. They settled on black jeans and a blue button-down that Emily pulled closer to her chest for extra measure because according to her “You look good in anything and Chloe won’t be able to make eye contact with you.”

Then she was on a subway that smelled like stale snow and hot morning breath. They picked a small shop downtown that not many people knew about. It was a feat in the city to find a place that wasn’t packed like a sardine can and Beca trusted Chloe’s judgment tenfold.

Beca got there first, and her palms were sweating despite the cool atmosphere that swept through the little shop each time the door opened. It was a meta cross between a thrifted bookstore and a café. People sat and ate and read and the scent of what Beca imagined old magic to be, mingled well with coffee grinds and fresh pastries.

She ordered a simple black americano and settled by the front window, the glass fogged from a warm contrast with the cold of the busy street and curved lettering faced the patrons. There was a simple logo and one barista behind the counter. She chose a random book and pretended to read, but only skimmed the same paragraph over and over again.

Her main focus was on the door and the bell that chimed each time it was opened. One of those times, after a businessman and a hipster kid hugging his laptop close to his chest, it was Chloe. Soft and vibrant compared to the rest of the dim academic setting.

Her hair was pulled behind her ears and a pair of golden framed glasses rested on her nose. She had aged like wine and the wind that blew in behind her carried the sweet scent of southern peaches through the front door. She wore a white sweater with a plaid peacoat and high wasted jeans, and Beca knew she was staring.

Everyone was, they couldn’t’ help it. She overtook the room with a warm and sparked presence. If anyone recognized her they didn’t’ say a thing, out of saving their own face or because the girl in the centerfold of the latest playboy was wildly different than the one standing in front of her. This… this was her Chloe.

She didn’t’ know if she could hug Chloe, if touching was okay, but as she stood to greet her, she was pulled into the warmth of the woman. She was wrapped in overwhelming touch and emotion and she buried her nose into Chloe’s hair as they held onto each other, not quite willing to let go of the familiarity before realizing that it was inappropriate not to.

“Wow,” Chloe ran her hands down Beca’s arms, stopping at her elbows “You haven’t aged a day, have you?”

“It’s the lighting in here, I think it’s one step up from basement overhead.”

Chloe laughed and it was a magical sound. The only thing more intoxicating was her smile, which never seemed to leave her lips as she ordered her own drink, something loaded with sugar and caramel, and leaned forward across the table to get a better look at her date.

Beca sipped her coffee and quirked an eyebrow “What?”

“I haven’t seen you in ten years, I think it’s perfectly acceptable for me to study you.”

“There’ll be plenty of time for that,” She tested “What have you been up to all these years?”

Chloe leaned back in her seat and cupped her mug. It was a russet red and steam rose from the pale liquid that soaked inside. There was a sickeningly sweet odor to it and part of Beca regretted ordering nothing but a black coffee. It seemed like a disservice to the atmosphere of the shop.

“Oh, a bunch of stuff here and there. I used to be based out of LA, I did a lot of acting there. Little stuff like soap operas and a couple of commercials. It wasn’t for me, though so I moved here to pursue modeling and it’s been going well. Really well.”

Beca didn’t’ want to mention the playboy magazine or the curve of Chloe’s legs and the way her skin shown under the bright summer sun. She never returned it to Jason because he never asked for it back. It was an unspoken solidarity between the two.

“That’s amazing,” Beca smiled, feeling excitement in her chest “Anything I would recognize?”

Chloe hummed into her drink “Mm, maybe a few things. It depends on how you feel about Playboy. I never thought you were much of a reader.”

Beca looked down dejectedly at the old spined book to her right. It was true, she hadn’t read the Catcher in the Rye and she barely got through the introduction paragraph because of the nerves and the heartbeat that beat so strongly against the inside of her wrist right now.

“I’m not usually. But I do enjoy looking at the pictures.” Beca flicked her stare back towards the woman across from her “Though, that’s not the reason I reached out to you.”

“Truth is, I’ve always wanted to message you, but you looked like you were doing so well. Like you were so happy. I didn’t want to throw you off or seem like I was chasing something that we used to have.” She said, “So I waited.”

It was Beca’s turn to laugh, “I felt the same exact way. We’re both pretty stupid, then huh? Waiting like this for something we knew… for something we knew we wanted.”

Chloe smiled wider and clinked her mug against Beca’s yellow one, not spilling any of the mostly full drink. “To being stupid. And getting to know each other all over again.”

And that’s exactly what they did. They sat and talked until they were the only two in the coffee shop and Beca even dared to kiss Chloe when they got to the subway platform.  She tasted like caramel and sunshine if such a thing was even possible.

But it was because she had found Chloe. Centerfold Chloe. High school Chloe, and most importantly, her Chloe.

[thedumpsterqueen]

Standards of Performance, Chapter 8: Heartbreak and Lattes

From the Beginning,  Previous Chapter

AO3 Link

Only announcement for this week: I've started a new job, and my schedule is such that a weekly update is unlikely without the quality being verrrry questionable. Therefore, I've decided to move off a set schedule, but I PROMISE I will update at least twice a month. Thank you for your patience and understanding; I know a set schedule is preferable but I wanna make sure this doesn't go to shit. Also... apparently this isn’t showing up in the tags I use, which sucks - so reblogs help a lot if you’re able. I love you guys <3

Summary: You’re the BAU’s newest intern, desperate to prove yourself amongst an established team of much more experienced profilers. Agent Hotchner, the seemingly infallible team leader, sets strict expectations for your performance. He commands your respect without even trying, but is there something more to your relationship than a simple desire to impress your stony-faced boss?

Chapter Summary:  In which decisions are made and overturned and many cups of coffee are drunk.

Words: 2666

Rating: Explicit, 18+. Warnings on AO3.

Pairings: Hotch x Reader, Hotch x You

You were sulking.

Not enough to affect your work - you’d have to go through something much worse than heartbreak before you risked your internship. But your home life was beginning to resemble a timelapse straight out of an overdramatic teen movie wherein the protagonist’s crush asks someone else to prom. Your apartment was a pile of half-done laundry, takeout containers, and case files; your evenings filled with sad Spotify playlists and too much red wine. 

And work? Not much better. Seeing him stride into the office every morning, filled with power and purpose and completely oblivious to the fact that he had shoved your heart into a metaphorical blender with a simple response to a seemingly innocuous question was really starting to wear you down. You had been so sure, that was the thing - so convinced by the team’s reaction to your story that it had all meant something. And maybe it had. But he had looked you in the face and told you it didn’t, so that was the answer that mattered.

So maybe sulking was the wrong word. ‘Spiraling’ was more accurate. A controlled spiral, mitigated only by the fact that 1. you had appearances and responsibilities to maintain and 2. Aaron Hotchner wasn’t actually the reason you showed up to work every morning, despite what it had seemed lately.

And it had seemed like that. You remembered getting the phone call that you had been accepted for an interview for the BAU internship, and the phone call that you made it to the final round, and finally the phone call that you had gotten the position - each more exciting than the last. You remembered meeting him, shaking his hand, completely oblivious to how much he was about to fuck up your life. Even when you first started to feel something for him, you convinced yourself it was nothing - a harmless crush wrought from your veneration and respect for one of the best in the field. Someone you admired. Someone you wanted to be one day. But then he’d made the unfortunate move of revealing bits and pieces of himself to you, exposing tiny slivers of humanity and emotion you were convinced didn’t exist, until you realized he was a person, an incredible one, and it wasn’t just admiration you felt anymore. It took all of a few months and a handful of genuine conversations until you were this far gone, and after he made it clear that your pining was one-sided, you knew you had to stop your fall there. 

So you tried.

You kept your conversations strictly professional. Avoided driving with him or sitting next to him on flights whenever possible. Disallowed yourself lingering glances. But it was still too goddamn much. He was still too goddamn much.

The next case pushed you over the edge. It was bad (not just normal bad, BAU bad), and it was no one’s fault, not really. You got called in late, the evidence was shoddy at best, and when all was said and done, you caught the unsub, but only after he’d killed 4 women. The last one died moments before you arrived and apprehended the killer, and despite the delay of those few minutes being, again, no one’s fault, the team was at each other’s throats the whole trip home. 

You were slouched in the corner of the plane trying to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. Morgan and Reid were sniping viciously about something completely unrelated to the case, because despite everything they’d just endured, they would never outright blame each other for what went wrong. Hotch, deciding he’d heard enough, raised his head slightly and said quietly,

“They’re not always going to end the way we want. We did all we could.”

And you were just done. You couldn’t stand to be around this pillar of strength and compassion and resolve. You needed to hate him for rejecting you, and you couldn’t. So you marched over to his seat, and, steeling yourself, you said what you’d been wanting to say since he broke your heart:

“I need a day off.”

It had sounded more dramatic in your head.

“A day off?”

You nodded. Hotch gathered himself, seeming to realize that such a request wasn’t unheard of (though perhaps in his department it essentially was) and nodded. 

“This case was difficult. I wish I could say exceptionally so. Get me your paperwork by tonight and take tomorrow off.”

You went back to your seat, relief overshadowed by disgust that it wasn’t, in fact, the 4 deaths you’d just been privy to that had broken you - it was the crush on your boss. You’d handled this case like a champ, in fact, because you were so absorbed in self-pity that you couldn’t feel anything else.

You needed to fucking recalibrate.

***

You were determined to make the next 24 hours the most self-indulgent, healing 24 hours you’d ever experienced. Quiet breakfast at a cafe? Planned. Self-improvement books? Downloaded. Vibrator? Fully charged. 

No man was going to keep you from focusing on the internship you’d been gunning for for years. No man was worth that. You were going to cry, you were going to journal, you were going to masturbate, and you were going to get him out of your head.

You were going to march into the quaint little coffeeshop two blocks away that you’d Googled last night, you were going to order the cinnamon spice latte that an indie food blog had called “the epitome of fall,” and you were going to go for a nice, early morning walk.

Except you weren’t. 

Because the next morning, when you turned to leave after grabbing your drink from the barista, you saw Hotch sitting at the table by the window. And Hotch saw you. And you weren’t equipped to handle this situation, because you were only 4 pages into your self-help book so far and honestly, the smile that lit up his face when you made eye contact would’ve broken you even if you’d read all the ‘how to move on’ manuals the literary world had ever produced.

So you obeyed his beckoning hand and sat down. 

“Thought you’d be up to something much more exciting on your one day off.”

You smiled wryly. “This is exciting. I haven’t had coffee that wasn’t made out of an ancient breakroom pot or a hotel carafe in months.”

Hotch chuckled. “I’m afraid you’ve made a mistake by coming here. Breakroom coffee is going to be impossible to tolerate now.”

“That good, huh?”

“Better. Try it.”

His eyes on you, you took a sip of your latte, and swallowed the most delicious concoction you’ve ever tasted in your life.

“Holy shit.”

“Indeed,” Hotch confirmed, ignoring your vulgarity. “I’ve been coming here before work for years.”

“I hope you don’t mind if I impose on your hangout,” you laughed. “I haven’t tried many coffee shops around here, but I imagine this is hard to beat.”

“Not at all. But just know - this is my table.”

You grinned. “Understood.”

You still went on that walk. Still read that book. Still spent the day trying to think about anything else but the softness of that moment - you and Hotch sipping lattes, bathed in the light of the early morning sun.

But on Thursday, the next day, bright and early, you found yourself at that coffee shop again. This time, you took a seat at the table adjacent to his. He looked up and smiled.

“Glad you heeded my advice.”

You smiled back and gestured to the heaping pile of files in front of him. “Not like there’d be much room for me anyways.”

You finished your coffees in relative silence and left at the same time for the office.

Friday, you learned Hotch’s coffee order: flat white with an extra shot of espresso. 

Saturday, you happened to arrive before he did, so you ordered his drink and set it on his table. Ten minutes passed and you thought he wasn’t going to show up, but he soon bustled in looking frantic. You waved him over, and he smiled when he saw the coffee waiting for him.

“Sorry, got stuck on a phone call,” he apologized. Like you were expecting him. Like this was something you guys did now.

You supposed it was.

Sunday, you got called for a case before you even made it to the coffee shop. You sat down in the conference room at 6 am, groggy as all hell. Hotch entered after you and handed you a mug, saying nothing before moving to address the team.

There was a small sticky note attached to the mug that read, “It’s no cinnamon spice latte, but it’s caffeine just the same.”

You fought to keep a grin from splitting your face, and ignored the team’s knowing smirks.

The case was in a small town in Colorado. The motel the team was staying in was less than ideal because of the location - bare bones, broken heaters, probably had the same bedsheets since its opening over 50 years ago. There was a small coffee pot in your room, and after you arrived Sunday evening, you walked down the street to the small convenience store and bought a bag of ground coffee.

When you handed him the cup Monday morning, he looked at it like it was salvation itself. Which, judging by the dark circles under his eyes, it may well have been.

“Long night?” you asked, loading into the back of the SUV. 

“Always,” he responded from the front seat. He took a sip of the coffee. “I don’t mean to offend, but this is terrible.”

You gasped in mock indignation. “I’ll have you know that is genuine Folgers pre-ground gas station coffee.”

“It tastes like it was made in a toilet,” he grumbled. He took another sip and smirked at you in the rearview mirror.

You’d long stopped trying to get over him.

 After the case in Colorado, the team was given a merciful break from the rapid-fire calls they’d been caught up in the last few months. 

You and Hotch continued your pre-work ritual, showing up to the coffee shop earlier and earlier each day. For you, it was a conscious attempt to spend more time with him. He didn’t acknowledge the extra 20 minutes that had worked its way into the morning routine, but you could only hope his intentions were the same.

One particularly chilly fall day, you burst in the door 10 minutes later than your unofficial meeting time. Hotch shot you a patented raised eyebrow as you unwrapped your scarf and took your seat. 

“Overslept?”

“No,” you retorted, “I was trying to make breakfast and my stove stopped working. Again. Maintenance can’t come fix it for two days.”

“Did you eat?” he asked.

“No, I was just gonna grab a muffin or something here.”

He nodded and went back to his laptop.

The next day, you sat down to a metal thermos on your table.

“What’s this?” you asked him.

“Oatmeal,” he responded without looking up. “You said your stove was broken.”

You opened the thermos to a puff of brown sugar-scented steam and the feeling that your heart was going to burst out of your chest.

“Thank you,” you whispered, afraid your voice would crack if you spoke any louder.

He looked over at you with an expression softer than you’d ever seen him wear. “You’re welcome.”

 A week later, you’d miraculously worked your way through the backed-up deluge of paperwork from the last few cases, and after clicking through the morning’s emails, you slammed your laptop shut.

“We should go for a walk,” you said to Hotch, who somehow still had a stack of files in front of him that was threatening to surpass the table’s weight capacity. 

“A walk?” Hotch asked, looking at the aforementioned files as if he were afraid they’d hear him considering the idea of a break.

“Yeah,” you responded. “Come on. It’s so pretty outside, and it’s gonna be too cold soon. Besides, we’re more caught up with work than we have been in months.”

“Speak for yourself,” he quipped, but he packed his briefcase just the same.

It really was beautiful outside. As soon as you stepped out the door, a gust of wind sent red and orange leaves skittering across the sidewalk at your feet. You wrapped your scarf tighter around your neck and motioned to the park across the street.

“Want to walk through the park?”

Hotch shrugged, a noncommittal ‘yes’, and followed you.

The park was sprawling, packed with massive trees in the midst of displaying their autumnal colors. Despite the early hour, there were joggers and dog-walkers populating the dirt path that meandered through. You strolled side by side, making idle chat about the weather and the holidays coming up, until you came to a bench set beside a pond in a small grove. Hotch took a seat and you followed his lead.

Reclining your head against the back of the bench, you exhaled. “This is the closest I’ve come to being out in nature in forever. I need to do this more often.”

Hotch murmured his agreement. “I’d apologize for the lack of free time, but I’m afraid it only gets worse.”

“When you officially join the team, you mean?”

“Yes.” He cleared his throat. “Assuming that’s something you’re interested in.”

“Of  course I am,” you said, “but I didn’t think it was really up to me.”

“It’s not - I give the final recommendation.”

“Better start buying you more coffees then,” you teased, looking over at him.

“Unfortunately, as Unit Chief, I have a responsibility not to accept bribery.” He smiled back.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. You studied his face - the stern curve of his brow, the carved structure of his jaw, the stress lines set in from decades of sleepless nights and unspeakable losses. Despite the increasing time you’d been spending in close proximity, you were mesmerized, as always, by the stormy intensity of his eyes meeting yours. You were close enough to smell his cologne, and you were reminded of the night in his apartment when he told you about his family. If you thought you’d fallen for him then, it was nothing compared to how you felt now, after starting each morning sitting beside him in the quiet peace of that downtown coffee shop.

“We should get going,” he murmured, not checking his watch, not shifting his gaze from yours. You nodded, not fully comprehending his words, feeling dazed at his nearness.

It was impossible to tell who made the first, imperceptible shift. All you knew is you scarcely had time to think before his hand was on your jaw, cradling the back of your head, bringing you to him. His mouth met yours and you closed your eyes instinctively, melting into his warm body beside you, fisting the front of his jacket in your hands.

You couldn’t remember ever having been kissed so decisively before. His fingers gripped into the base of your skull, his forehead nearly pressed against yours, and despite the chastity of your closed mouths, you whimpered into his. He stiffened at the sound and pulled back, still holding you, inches away.

You saw the shift in his eyes before he moved. It was as if he consciously closed some gate, walling himself off. His pupils, blown, started to retract to their normal size, frown returned, hand drew back. You watched, heart still racing, unable to speak as he turned to grab the briefcase sitting at his feet. Only then did he look back at you.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and if his low voice was meant to betray any hint of emotion, you didn’t hear it. 

He stood, walked around the back of the bench towards the path, and paused.

“I’ll see you at the office.”

You were too shell-shocked to reply.

[greynatomy]

it’s you

kyra cooney-cross x reader

request from wattpad

been wanting to write a fic for kcc and it finally happened

———

After winning their first World Cup match, the Matildas do a lap to show their appreciation for all the fans that came out to watch them play. Kyra Cooney-Cross signs a couple posters and jerseys, thanking all she comes across.

Looking out to the crowd, she locks eyes with the most beautiful pair of eyes she’s ever seen. Stuck frozen in her place on the field, she can’t seem to look away. Charli, who decides to jump on her back, makes her look away for just a second to steady her feet again, looks back out to the crowd. Unfortunately for her, those pair of eyes that had her enchanted were no longer there.

On the coach ride back to the hotel, Kyra could not get those eyes out of her head. She wished she could’ve seen who those eyes belonged to. Charli could tell something was bothering her friend, wanting to help Kyra out.

During the quarterfinals against France, Kyra constantly looks to the crowd hoping to spot some familiarity, but having no luck. Not spotting those same eyes during the match didn’t mean Kyra stopped checking, barely paying attention to the game.

The match ended with penalties, Australia winning 7-6, making them move onto the next round.

Lookout out to the crowd, there you were again, Kyra locking eyes with you a second time. She moves her eyes across your face, trying to memorize all of your features, you plump lips to your button nose. You were beautiful. Walking towards where you stood in the stands, Katrina jumps around her excitedly, making Kyra celebrate with Mini.

After the small burst of excitement from both Matildas, she looks back up to the stands, but you were gone. Kyra hoping you would be at the next match.

The semifinals against England ended with the Australians broken-hearted. No one was celebrating, but still made the rounds to thank all of their supporters.

Australia then lost third place to Sweden, putting them down at fourth place with no medal. They were bummed, but they felt accomplished with putting women’s football out there. So, they celebrated with each other, with their fans, with their family.

Even through all the celebrations, Kyra was a bit down, not having seen you anymore the last two of her matches. She didn’t know if she’d ever see you again, kicking herself for not getting to you sooner.

A month later, Kyra moves to the North of London, having been signed by Arsenal. She was excited, especially getting to be on the team with her fellow Aussies.

The first day of training for the new season, she’d been welcomed to the team with open arms. Introducing and being introduced to all the players on the team was all smiles, Caitlin and Steph then walked her to the staff who’d she’d see basically everyday.

Walking Kyra over to where a couple cameras and lenses are splayed out, Steph gestures to a figure sitting on the bench occupied by her laptop.

“And this is our team’s main photographer. The best in the business.

Locking eyes with the photographer, Kyra freezes in her spot. It was you, the girl from the crowd. The girl who she couldn’t stop thinking about the first time she’d seen you. She couldn’t believe it. She finally found you.

“It’s you.” Kyra said in a soft tone, confusing her fellow Aussies.

“Hi.” You give her a shy smile.

Caitlin and Steph noticing the tension between the two of you, leaves you both be.

“I haven’t been able to get you out of my head ever since I saw you back home. Well, my home. Unless you’re also Australian, then it’s your home too.”

Your laugh breaks Kyra out of her rambling.

“I am Australian. Moved here a couple of years ago.”

“Uh, well, I’m Kyra.”

“Y/N. Pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure is definitely all mine.”

She shakes your hand noticing you to be shorter than her.

The next few days, you and Kyra often speak, her always finding a way by your side, her reasoning being that she finally found you and wanted to make sure you wouldn’t disappear again. You were fine with it because of all the pictures you get to take of her, also not minding all the time you had spent with her.

About two weeks after officially meeting, Kyra decided to ask you out on a date. You, of course, said yes. So, here you are, putting your finishing touches on, when you hear the sound of your doorbell go off.

“Be there in a second.” Putting your heels on, you open the door to be met by Kyra.

“Wow. You look beautiful.” She said in a breathy tone.

“Thank you.” You give her a shy smile, cheeks heating up. “You look beautiful as well.”

“Um, these are for you.” She holds out a bouquet of flowers. You take them, quickly putting them in a vase. “Ready to go?”

Kyra was the perfect gentlewoman. She opened the passenger door open for you getting in and out of the car. Pulling your seat out for you at the table.

Conversation flowed easily between the two of you at dinner. She told you about her family, her football career and she found out about how you became a sports photographer. You both also found out you were born just a couple of weeks after her, making her older than you.

Dinner was lovely. You insisted to pay half of the bill, which she declined saying that you could get next time. You teased her a bit about there being a next time making her flustered. Not wanting the night to end just yet, you two are taking a stroll around the city.

Seeing you shiver from the cold, she took her blazer off and draped it over your shoulders. Gaining a bit more confidence, she wrapped an arm around your waist, you leaning onto her.

On the drive home, she kept her hand on the gear stick, which you grabbed and intertwined seething your hands on your lap. Parking the car at your apartment building, she walks you to your front door, hands still linked together.

“Thank you for taking me out on a date.” You started.

“Thank you for agreeing to let me take you out. I’d also like do go on more in the future.”

“I’d also like that.”

“Okay. Well, goodnight Kyra.”

“Goodnight Y/N.”

She waits for you to close your front door to start walking back to her car, kicking herself for not getting a kiss. So she walks back to your door, giving it a knock, the door opening instantly.

“I forgot to give you your jacket ba—”

You’re cut off when you feel a pair of lips on yours, hands cupped on both your cheeks. After your initial shock, you deepen the kiss, wrapping your arms over her shoulders, her hands moving down your waist. Kyra pulls away first.

“I couldn’t leave without a kiss.”

“I’m glad you came back.”

You pull her back for a second kiss.

“Would you like to come in?” You ask, resting your forehead on hers.

“I’d love to.”

[im-whatchamccallit]

Circles//Kim Doyoung (NCT 127)

Pairing: Kim Doyoung x Fem!Reader

Genre: Series/Multiple parts, Mafia/Crime!AU, Suggestive, Angst, Fluff, Potential Smut in future chapters

Warnings: Suggestive content, mention of guns and murder, mentions of the mafia and organized crime

Word Count: 4.5k

(A/N: So, like I said in one of my last post, I’m trying to start a series so that I will have a reason to post more often and not let this blog die the way I did before. Only problem? This was the first thing that came to mind and I’ve been terrified it won’t do well so please leave feedback if you like it so I know to continue it. This is also my first NCT 127 post so... Yay! Also, I recently read about how taboo a lot of people think the mafia/crime AUs are in fanfiction and I want to be cautious of their feelings in regards to this which is why I also haven’t posted it but I just want to post something while getting out of my writers block. But, again, leave feedback on whether you love it or hate it, leave request if you want, anything’s appreciated.)

Masterlist|Guidelines

You’ve seen elegance but never at this level, eyes glued to the ceiling that seemed to reach heights you could only dream of, not even thirty basketball players stacked onto one another’s shoulders able to graze the top. The sparkling from the crystal gold leaf chandeliers adding to the fairytale-like atmosphere as servers of all kind bustled around you offering food and drinks at any given chance, your hand reluctantly staying at your side as you declined their generosity. You were starving, but you had a job to do and, that job, was Song Minhyun.

He was the newly appointed Don of the Amarillo family, his father passing away from an unknown condition only a week ago but, based on how fast Minhyun made the world aware that he was now in control of all the illicit acts committed in the name of Amarillo after years of having their identity protected and undisclosed, even going as far as to threaten and betray the various families beneath him in an insane power trip, it was clear his father’s death was no accident. But you were never a fan of that man, he was creepy with a bad attitude to match, so this task wasn’t some gesture of vengeance for him, it was strictly about you and your family.

Just like the Amarillo’s, your family went under an alternative name, Nio’s, which closely resembled the name of the pharmaceutical manufacturing company masking it, Neo Tech. It always made you laugh considering no one caught on to their association, given Nio’s were the largest distributors and exporters of controlled substances in majority of the Eastern hemisphere. But joining Nio’s wasn’t a life you wanted to live, you were practically forced into it, but once you’ve engrained yourself into a life of organized crime, it was impossible to leave. You lived every day with the mindset of kill or be killed, Minhyun’s threats to expose your operations to the NIS who, after the death of Nio’s founder, Kim Dongwan, assumed your family officially ceased activity in the crime syndicate, being your main motive for taking him down. Sure, you were ordered to handle the assassination but, considering you could face life in prison simply for everything you’ve done in the name of Nio’s, you were more than willing. There was one problem though, Song Minhyun was an absolute dream.

Your thoughts seemed to fade into nothingness when you initiated conversation, going with the plan to seduce and kill him only to find he was much more enticing than you anticipated. He was a year or so older than you yet spoke like he was some immortal seer, his wisdom and life stories drawing you in and leaving your heart racing. His smile was so wide and gummy but eyes sharp and attentive, never leaving yours even as he drew you further from the crowd which, according to Taeyong, was not part of the plan. And you couldn’t begin to understand how fucked you were.

You didn’t know where he was taking you, too focused on his words while simultaneously adjusting your silky white dress to reveal more cleavage from the already plunging v-neck and your walk becoming sultrier to expose more of your leg from the thigh-high slit.

“You know, you shouldn’t focus too much on your looks when you’re naturally beautiful.” Minhyun spoke, your eyes darting to him as your hands returned to your sides, a shy giggle echoing in the now deserted hallway he lead you through.

“Can you blame me? Standing next to an attractive man can really mess with a girl’s self-esteem.” You admitted, suddenly feeling like some high schooler in a rom-com.

“Well, I can help with those insecurities. Just tell me where to start and I’ll make you feel like an absolute queen.” Your breath hitched as his body turned to face you, hand reaching to cup your neck but it was large enough that his thumb could glide over your bottom lip with ease, smudging your red lipstick against your skin teasingly but still holding your gaze.

His presence, the sheer dominance he exuded made you whimper in a mixture of fear and pleasure. You weren’t going planning to escape yet he made the initiative to hold you close to him, an arm wrapped securely around your waist making a heat rush through you that could only be described as want, no longer aware of your duties and no longer caring. He was perfect, and you wanted a piece of his perfection. Maybe for the night, maybe forever, you decided you’d choose after whatever surprise he had for you was done in the dark office he dragged you into, your excitement blocking out the burning gaze from just down the hall.

Minhyun shut the door, not bothering to lock it seeing that you were so willing and easy to remain with him. He knew who you were and what you were planning to do. You were an orphan taken in by Nio’s, trained to be a child soldier for a man who couldn’t even hold his own against Minhyun’s father, now under Taeyong’s rules and orders. But knowing that his first encounter with Taeyong was less than stellar and the sudden ultimatum to forfeit all their assets to the Amarillos or be handed over to the police for sentences that can range from 50 years to death for each and every one of his precious borgata, the only thing Taeyong could do was kill him and you, unfortunately were just a pawn in those plans.

“You know, your looks are nothing to be insecure about. You’re beautiful beyond comprehension.” He spoke lowly, inching closer and guiding you to his large desk just by the window, the moonlight that seeped through the blinds the only form of light allowing you to take in his features.

You gasped as he grabbed your hips, spinning you and pressing you over the desk. You sighed in contentment at the feeling of his hands caressing up your thighs, dress riding up and slowly revealing the black thong you had, a low chuckle leaving his lips at the sight. Not just because you were practically bare before him, but at the pocket pistol held securely in its holster that you managed to forget about. It was a Glock 42, making him proud that he did his research on you because, if he was in your position right now, and the number of murders you committed were accurate, he’d be a goner already.

“(Y/n), if only you were as smart as you are beautiful.” He said, your eyes widening at the way he spoke but, more importantly, he knew your name. Your real name. Not the one you were given for this mission.

“How’d you-Ow!” You whimpered as he grabbed your hair, pulling you upwards until your back was flush with his chest.

Tears were pricking your eyes, your breathing heavy as you felt a cool metal press to your temple swallowing hard while simultaneously attempting to reach to your thigh discretely to find your own gun, only to find it was the one in his hand.

“When I read about you, I was so intrigued. So curious. You know there’s only one photo of you online and it’s a mugshot from when you were still living on the streets?” He laughed out loud at that, ignoring the way your body thrashed against his in an attempt to free yourself, head leaning further away from the possibly cocked gun in fear that he was finished monologuing already.

“But you’re really weak. And I’d usually like that in women, especially when they’re this submissive but, them wanting to kill me is a deal breaker. So what am I to do if I have the opportunity to murder my would-be assassin?” His lips were pressed to the shell of your ear, your eyes squeezed shut as you tried to silently apologize to the Nio’s. Sorry that you let your guard down, that you let some pretty face turn you into some horny teenager, the only plus side to your death being that it wouldn’t be Taeyong killing you because you knew how much he loved to torture before doing the deed. And with that final thought, you were ready to die, just hoping that someone else could finish the job you’ve failed tonight. And they did.

The sound of the door colliding with the wall was all you heard, followed by two hollow gunshots. Your eyes flew open as you felt Minhyun’s body fall limp against yours, hand slowly releasing your hair until you could move again, quickly shoving him off to adjust your dress to cover yourself before facing your silent savior, your heart stopping at the fierce, angry, “don’t move or I’ll kill you too” gaze Doyoung was giving you.

It was one thing to piss off Taeyong, you knew what to expect, but with Doyoung? He wasn’t a killer. In fact, he was the medic of your unit, coming along in case things went awry and someone needed instant care. He was a gentle person with a snappy attitude, but never one to act on his threats, so to see him with a gun in his hand, a body lying face first in blood from its skull and chest created by the man himself and approaching you with a scowl so deep you thought his baby face would finally start to wrinkle, you felt more fear than when you were almost dead.

“D-doyoung. Thank yo-“ You gasped as your head turned, eyes stinging with tears and cheek burning in both embarrassment and from the harsh impact his hand left.

You slowly peered up, afraid he’d strike you again just to see Yuta and Haechan slipping by silently, giving you a brief glance while collecting to fallen shells and your gun from Minhyun, only to leave you alone once more with the unpredictable aid.

“Doyoung-“

“Let’s go.”

Those were the only words he said before turning to head out of the office, your body immediately following close behind. He was silent the entire time, stuffing the pistol back into his waistband before buttoning his suit’s blazer to conceal it, leading the both of you through the still bumbling party and to the exit. Everything he did felt so tense despite being so normal. The way he spoke to the valets, how he entered the car without bothering to open the door for you, even his group call letting everyone know the task was done felt hostile. But you said nothing, continuing to wait idly by and praying he forgot about the situation.

You were tempted to break the awkward silence looming between the both of you on this seemingly hours long drive but, from the way he was radiating heat from how angry he was, you felt staying silent would be best. But you didn’t want to stay silent. You wanted to thank him for saving you while simultaneously screaming at him for slapping you, but also have one normal conversation with him. It was painful to admit that for the past few years you both weren’t exactly friendly with one another, no one seeming to care as “this was strictly business”, and you hated it. You never said it but you loved the Nio’s members and knew they loved you and each other as well, but for some reason the only two people that kept this family at arms length were the core members, Lee Taeyong and Kim Doyoung.

You knew Doyoung wasn’t a fan of the family ever since his father introduced him to that life, pissed he didn’t follow in his older brother’s footsteps and leave as soon as possible. He was supposed to be the heir to the family and be the boss of the 18 people living under his roof and the 7 working overseas in China to keep production there running and, as much as you didn’t want the responsibility, he was in too deep to run away. He opted to stop training for field work, developing a phony passion for medicine and surgery which led to him becoming the emergency medic for the team and no longer catching his father’s fancy for taking over their empire, leading to his heirship being rescinded. And as for the spot as heir? Doyoung’s father ordered Taeyong to fill. You knew Taeyong a lot better than the others but were utterly shocked to see him take over so easily. He was obviously a natural born leader but he had a habit of complaining about not always wanting to be in charge, using you as his unwilling therapist when he felt like reverting to his unintimidating, crybaby self. But there was no exit at this point, so what more could you do than make the most of a bad situation by befriending one another and having fun when you felt your lives were no longer in danger? And, whether they liked it or not, they were going to have fun with you and the rest of their constantly growing family.

“Y-you know, I was more scared of you then being killed back there. I’ve never seen you so mad.” You laughed, hoping to at least get a smile or something from him, your eyes glancing over to see his grip on the steering wheel tighten at your words. Maybe you should’ve just shut up.

“Doyoung, I’m sorry I put you in a situation where you had to kill, I know you hate stuff like that but, if it wasn’t for you, I’d probably be dead. Besides, it’s kinda like medicine if you think about it. Except you saved a life by taking one rather than just giving drugs to- OW!” You cried out as he slammed on the brakes, the only thing keeping you from flying through the windshield being your hands on the dashboard and the seatbelt crossed over your chest and waist.

“You bitch!” You snapped at him, watching his blank expression as he removed his seatbelt and turned off the car.

“Meet me in my office. You have five minutes.” Doyoung said plainly, your eyes fixed on him in bewilderment as he exited the car with no concern for you.

You let out an annoyed breath, your fear from before mixed with anger as you hurriedly followed his lead, leaving the car and speed walking to the front door he was entering through. To your surprise, most of the guys were there, not sparing either of you a glance as they knew what had happened and knew better than to interfere, but one person didn’t keep quiet.

“(Y/n), what the FUCK did I tell you?” Taeyong growled, your body practically jumping as he cornered you in the entrance’s corridor, eyes burning with anger and panic that you knew he had no way of controlling. He was always a hothead.

“I-I-“

“I’m having the meeting with her, Taeyong. Don’t bother. You have two minutes.” Doyoung spoke, voice fading as he continued down the hall to the small office he typically frequented to buy and sell shipment for Nio’s personal and professional use.

As soon as he was out of earshot, you grabbed Taeyong’s hands, eyes wide and teary as you tried to plead with him to save you.

“You went off where we couldn’t see you and didn’t even complete the mission. You could have been dead by now.”

“I know and you can punish however you want but, Taeyong, Doyoung is pissed, and I don’t know what to do. He already slapped me, now he’s not even speaking to me,”

“He never talks to you.”

“He does sometimes, when he wants to be a sarcastic asshole! But, please, Taeyong, talk to him. Calm him down so he doesn’t hurt me again.” You tried to use a soft voice, hoping to strike a sympathetic nerve in the doe-eyed man.

“(Y/n/n),” Taeyong sighed, cupping your face and making you lock eyes with him.

“You fucked up and made Doyoung do something he’s sworn to himself and us that he’d never do. His anger is justified. But I’ll be there for you whenever you’re in danger, whether it’d be an enemy or anyone living in this house, I’ll never let you get hurt.” He gave a warm smile, your lips curling to mimic his.

“But not tonight. You put us all at risk as you need to face the consequences.”

“Taeyong!”

“I’ll visit you in the infirmary later tonight.” You whimpered in fear as he kissed the crown of your head and pushed you in the direction of the office, heels clicking against the white marble floor as you stumbled to what might be your imminent doom.

You could taste blood in your mouth from the way you bit down on your tongue to ease your anxiety, your once statue-like body moving forward with caution although the chilly air was urging you to retreat. You couldn’t turn back because Taeyong would just escort you to Doyoung himself but if you went straight to Doyoung, who knows what he’d do. You couldn’t even take a second to cry over your dilemma once you noticed the dark brown mahogany door. The office was soundproof, something you both loved and hated. Whatever Doyoung wanted to scream at you would go unheard by the men possibly showering and preparing for bed after a somewhat successful evening, but then they wouldn’t hear you scream for help. It reminded you of earlier tonight, making the situation a bit more lighthearted until you realized you could’ve died then and would possibly die now.

“Oh god,” You breathed out in a whisper, shutting your eyes and taking a deep breath as your hand gripped the steel doorknob, turning it and entering the spacious and organized room.

“Doyoung.” You spoke lowly, shutting the door behind you but refusing to move any closer to him as he sat with an unrecognizable file before him.

“July of 2016, you were assigned to deliver a new batch of amphetamines to Xu Minghao who ran the Chinese operations of Sebong. Instead of cooperating with Weishen, AKA the Chinese sector of your own team, you thought doing the drop off yourself would be fine, only to let your guard down and let it slip that you were in Nio’s which promptly lead to you not only being ambushed, but Sicheng jumping in to save you and being shot in the lower back in the process.” He said blandly, flipping over the page to yet another as you swallowed hard at the memory, accidentally mentioning Haechan’s name and revealing you weren’t just a middle man in their operation but a direct asset, and Winwin payed the price for your stupidity.

“I remember just fine, but-“

“February of 2017, you knowingly entered enemy territory in Kyoto without alerting Yuta who, as you’ve always known, is in charge of our Japanese affairs. He has people over there for a reason, to handle the shit we can’t while we’re in Seoul. But you waltz over there and initiate a gang war that has only now been resolved.” He said, voice growing in annoyance and animosity that was a complete 180 from his once emotionless tone, your voice caught in your throat as you also remembered that day. You were on vacation and thought it’d be fine as long as you went in some disguise, but you were too well known and the fact you couldn’t speak Japanese only made it worse. You even remembered how Yuta refused to talk to you for months as he traveled constantly to fix your mistake.

“I-I know I fucked up that time but I tried to explain and I-“

“And that brings us to tonight! You had to stay in the spotlight with the man threatening not only your life but everyone you know in Nio’s and neighboring groups, and lead him back to the apartment we set up for you for a simple and quick execution, but you decide to go further into his mansion, expose yourself to him, and allow him to nearly murder you with your bare ass out!” His voice was strained as he screamed this time, your eyes watering as he pushed the large leather chair back to stand, making his way around the desk to approach you.

“I’d remind you about what happened in 2013, but I’m sure you’d never forget that.” He said with no emotion once more, your eyes low as you tried to suppress the urge to touch your slightly sunken head. Your our only job was to shoot if you saw someone escaping during an exchange but, instead, you were hit yourself, every medic working hard to keep you from dying and leaving you with a partially shaved head and a new metal plate in your skull.

“But I want you to tell me who saved your ass that time, (Y/n)?” His voice was playful now, emotions changing like an out of control radio station. Sometimes you wondered if he was just as mentally fucked as Taeyong.

You gasped when you felt his hand gripping your face, forcing your head up and back until your eyes met, a fire behind them that made your stomach swirl in fear but enchantment. You almost even forgot about how rough his grip on your jaw was because his hands were so soft, the warmth he let off no longer intimidating but causing you to turn to putty in his hands and wanting to fall against him in comfort and bliss. But the sudden harsh flick to your forehead made you realize he was anything but comforting.

“Stop acting like a touch starved dumbass and answer me. Who the fuck saved you from bleeding out in a filthy warehouse in the middle of fucking Daegu?” He said harshly, your eyes darkening as you tried to keep your composure.

“You did.”

“And you decided that me handling the responsibility of operating on you was some sentimental, heroic act and that from that day forth, you would make it everyone’s job to save you? That it was my job to save you?”

You felt your eyes tearing up again, lip quivering as a sob threatened to escape you and he could only let out a scoff, harshly pulling his hand back as he watched you cry.

“And now you’re crying.”

“I tried to thank you, I tried to apologize for making you save me yet you won’t let me! You slapped me! You’re screaming at me and making me feel bad when I already fucking feel bad. I know I’m fucking up and it’s hard on you guys but I-I just don’t know what to do! I’m tired and sick of having to live every second of my life knowing there is no one in this world I can trust and that I can never leave and that’s all I want, Doyoung! I just want to leave and be a normal person.”

The silence between you was deafening, almost loud in a way, but it was allowing you both to take in the words you said. You could see the look of conflict and annoyance on his face through your tears, a glimmer of what you both hoped and feared was sadness in his eyes as he rolled them to look anywhere but you. And what Doyoung saw of you was a breeding ground of trauma and dysfunction.

You were no different from anyone there, your life story was so similar to most of theirs that no one had time to pity you. You joined Nio’s when you were only 10, hair matted and filthy like the clothes you wore, hands stained red with blood and a look in your eyes that screamed frustration but hopelessness. You were the perfect tool for his father and it was sad watching yet another lost soul fall into this lifestyle. But you proved to be so capable of yourself, strong and competent but, after the death of his father, something in you changed. You were emotional, distracted, constantly agreeing to do task but never fully connecting mentally. He even noticed you screaming in the middle of the night from nightmares. Whether you remembered or not, you and Doyoung were close, so close it managed to shift the atmosphere of Nio’s into something enjoyable and worthy of being part of, but he knew it wasn’t good for you to stay. Not for any of you. So he gave you a chance to leave, a chance to live your life the way you had always told him you wanted, but you didn’t take it. Your reason? Taeyong. You never explained why he was the reason you were staying but the way you constantly clung to their leader like you were his lapdog was all the clarification that he needed. For Doyoung, the closeness you shared and the desire you both had of living normal lives was nothing compared to the same greed for power you shared with Taeyong. So he stopped trying to save you, stopped focusing on how to help you preserve what little of your sanity was left until now. Seeing you at your breaking point made it clear to him that even if this life would follow you forever, letting you go was better than having everyone killed from your mistakes. And, if you left, whatever problems haunted you would be yours to face alone, and he was fine with that.

“You will never be a normal person. And whatever life you choose to live will be as stressful as this one because you’ll spend every second looking over your shoulder wondering who’s out to get you. But, you’re dead weight now, and it’s unfair we’re the ones that have to keep carrying you. I don’t care when or where you go, just leave.” His tone was harsh and cold, the relief you felt at his words not enough to ease the pressure in your chest.

Doyoung’s no longer had power to make these decisions once Taeyong was appointed as leader, so you knew without the boss’ approval his word meant nothing. But, if you had the chance to run, why not take it? Maybe for one day, you could be free, probably take the time you needed to hide away from Nio’s and the crime world you knew all too well. You had no set plan, but sticking around trying to making one would do you no good.

“T-thank you. Thank you for everything.” You said with a small voice and deep bow, Doyoung not bothering to look at you as you hurriedly exited the room to head to yours and pack any belongings you needed for your new life.

You knew this life was hard to leave yet lived with the ignorant optimism that there was always some escape and no turning back. Unfortunately for you, you were simply a butterfly living in an airtight jar and, no matter where you turned, the air you needed was nowhere to be found and, tonight, was the beginning of your suffocation.

[dini73]

Together - Chapter 5

A little something for a special someone on a special day.

Boom!

“Ah, fuck!”

Tommy startled awake, still half asleep, trying to make sense of the dull bang that penetrated his dreams, followed closely by Alfie, cursing like in the old days. Only, well… only it nothing was like it was back then. No wait, that wasn’t true, this voice, his voice still provoked that strange feeling of excitement tension and warmth Tommy would never get tired of and dreaded ever losing.

He forced himself not to drift back to sleep to dwell in memories, realizing that he was here, by his side. That he had been for decades now. That it was real. That there was a they. They. Him. Alfie…Alfie – a painful moan reached the covers and settled on Tommy’s pillow. It whispered in his ear. Yeah, Alfie. Alfie. Oh shit!

“Alfie?! You alright?”

“Did that fucking sound alright to you, Thomas?”

Drowsily, Tommy reached for the bed side lamp, pinching the bridge ofhis nose when he sat up on their bed. His heart was racing after he realized he had nearly fallen asleep again.  He forced himself to open his eyes and saw that the chair Alfie used to put his clothes onto when he undressed, had fallen over and blocked the door. Alfie himself was leaning onto that door; he’d obviously been trying to get out, and was now panting, his face was contorted with pain.

As fast as his stiff bones allowed Tommy rushed out of the bed and over to him, getting the chair and lifting it up with one hand, while reaching around Alfie’s shoulder with his other arm.

“Hey, Alfie?”

Alfie leaned into Tommy’s embrace, closed his eyes, wishing he’d hear anything like “sweetheart” or “love” added to the question. But Tommy had never used any pet names for him, not in all these years and Alfie felt an anger crept up from his belly, through his throat, up to the head, which felt incredibly hot, before he freed himself from the hug and spit out:

“Alfie what? Alfie Solomons, yeah? Why don’t you call me Mr. Solomons, hm?!”

“What? Alfie, what…why were you stumbling around in the pitch dark?”

“Oh, fuck you, THOMAS! I have to piss, I couldn’t sleep, I miss Errol and I am fucking blind! It’s always damn dark for me now!”

Okay, that blow had hit.

Leaning against each other and the dark wooden door, their bodies were pressed together close enough to feel each other’s heartbeats drumming between their chests, to feel the other man’s breath upon their cheeks. Tommy had to pull himself together with all the control he had left in order not to lose his composure. He wished scenes like this would be new for him, but they had invaded their life more and more often during the last months, eating away Tommy’s strength and energy like a plague. He loved this huge, warm, and bearded manifest of intellect, wit, power, and ailment so much. He loved his solid rock and still there was nothing he could do but watch as this once indestructible mountain slowly but constantly being eaten away by that corrosive bacterium.

All his life there was nothing Tommy feared more than being helpless. And now he had to watch helplessly as Alfie’s health was getting worse and the once intimidating man appearing more and more a shadow of his former self. Since he could remember, Tommy had never allowed himself to show any weakness, he simply couldn’t for the sake of survival, and he wouldn’t start to do so now.

While Tommy knew that Alfie was slightly exaggerating about being blind, he also knew that the emphasize was on ‘slightly’; Alfie was still able to see most of the things that went on in the light of day, but only  just barely. But losing his beloved Errol a few months ago had been a true tragedy to Alfie from which he seemed unable to recover.

Alfie had always loved the dog deeply, but the more his eyesight has been decreasing, the greater his love and dependence on his loyal companion had become.

What Alfie needed now he could only get from the man he had spent the last decades with.

Tommy had to shift his head away from their closeness a bit to move the chair out of the way.  Pushing Alfie out into the hall then there was no need to say anything. They didn’t need words to know that Alfie was sorry for yelling and grateful to have Tommy by his side. They knew Tommy was deeply sorry for Alfie’s loss and that it tormented and frustrated him to no ends that he could neither bring back Eroll nor Alfie’s eyesight.

“You gonna wait here, listen to me taking a piss?” Alfie’s deep voice grumbled.

“Guess I’d rather wait here and listen to you cursing me and the whole fucking world, eh?” Tommy rasped back.

“A clever man you are Thomas Shelby, always have been.” Alfie went on rambling while he went into the bathroom, leaving the door slightly ajar.

Tommy couldn’t help but smile when he leaned onto the wall. “So it was my intellect then that captured you and made you stay by m…” He had to clear his throat. There was no reason to be asking this question, even if meant as a joke. Tommy felt the years aching in his bones. Looking up the ceiling, a headache creeping up the back of his head, he longed for a cigarette. He hadn’t had this desire in forever. But right now, he wished he could smoke nonchalantly and then casually accompany Alfie back to the bedroom. But the old walls of their home had long since ceased to see anything that resembled nonchalance.

From inside the bathroom came a disgruntled shout: “Oi Tommy, lavender? That how you like me to smell for you now?!”

Alfie was welcomed with a beautiful smile when he stepped out of the bathroom. Over the years the number of smiles had grown, but they were never quite enough, if you asked Alfie. The good thing about them was, that they had been sincere ever since Tommy had come to Margate. So, it was pretty much the only thing Alfie had never teased Tommy about throughout all their time together, cherishing them far too much.

And Tommy, well he had just grabbed that bar of soap during his last shopping in a hint of sentimentality. Why not think back to the women in his life with a certain heartfelt nostalgia? It hadn’t just been Lizzie who liked this smell, no, the most cherished memory about this tiny violet piece of scented soap was that his mother had used for special occasions. Not that she had many occasions to use it; more often, it was the scent of curd soap that Tommy remembered when he thought of his mother. But the lavender brought with it more pleasant, optimistic memories of her.

“You coming? Or planning on getting me pneumonia?”

Startled from his thoughts, Tommy offered Alfie his arm. A few years ago, this gesture had still felt strange to him, but Alfie loved being able to hold on to his arm. Thinking about it now, the occasions when Alfie had gently nestled on his arm had been rare. He'd used Tommy's arm more often to hold it almost painfully, or pushed it down in a last rebellion, as if to prove to Tommy that he still had the upper hand. But Tommy had never bothered. He knew Alfie would always be the stronger one of them, in many ways. Not to mention, he was the only person to whom Tommy had ever given himself completely, who he’d opened himself up to.

Tonight, they both seemed to dwell in the warmth of one and another’s heat, enjoying their closeness. And no grudge was held when Tommy helped Alfie climb to bed, instantly nestling up to him under the same blanket.

It was overwhelming, and who was Alfie to complain about the sudden closeness?  A closeness he had longed for too long, a closeness that had always been so hard to get from Tommy even when they were physically close.

And now he couldn’t do anything but close his useless eyes and lean into Tommy’s touch, a touch that felt like velvet floating over noble wood as Tommy caressed Alfie’s cheek. Those rugged cheeks that needed to be awoken by Tommy’s fingertips like jagged rocks thirsting for a cold stream. Tommy traced every furrow life had drawn as carefully as if Alfie would burst into a thousand pieces under his touch.

Alfie inwardly rolled his eyes and let out a low grunt.

“Hmm?”

“Now, look at my little fawn.”

“God, Alfie. Fawn?” Tommy couldn’t help but laugh against Alfie’s neck- he had just wanted a kiss.

“That’s by far the most ridiculous name you have ever given me,” he said, smiling lovingly and planting a heartfelt kiss on Alfie’s dry lips. But the latter broke it and stated:

“Hmm, might be, Tommy boy. But fitting. Look at you, as delicate as ever and still on guard.” His voice got lower and nearly broke when he whispered: “Always afraid something would startle you.”

The accusation slightly lingering between them, Tommy pressed his body against the man he loved dearly.

“Nothing could have ever scared me off once I finally had the guts to get here, Alfie and you know that.”

“What…” Alfie tried to ask, confused, as he felt Tommy slowly climbing over him, a skinny leg now next to each of his thighs. But before Alfie could form his question Tommy’s thick hands cupped his face. Hands that Alfie had always thought too bulky for the rest of the fine body.

“Listen to me, Alfie Solomons.” And it was from the experience of many years together, rather than what he could see now, that Alfie felt how icy blue eyes penetrated his soul, boring through his heart on their way. He swallowed hard.

“I will never leave you.”

And before either of them had the chance to even think or breath Tommy clashed their lips hungrily together.

Shivering lips opened like the starving mouth of a young bird savoring the hot tongue that demanded attention.

Their aching bodies started to grind against each like a ritual of a thousand years, something that had always been there. Or at least should have been. Their worn bodies fitting into the other one as if some gracious god had created them for nothing else.

And suddenly, they were not old men, long forgotten by the ones that had once feared them. No, they were some careless, strong men, vibrating with life and youth, exchanging all the delicious fluids the body could offer. They were meant for this. They were meant for each other. They were meant to be together. Forever.

Their orgasms hit them hard. Almost too exhausting but for the amazing high it rendered.

Fast, restless breaths echoed throughout their room as they tried to come back to their senses. Slipping out, Tommy lay down on his back, shuffling as close to Alfie as possible.

And for a while they just lay there.

Both stared at the ceiling for a while before their hands found each other and their fingers gently stroked over the other's soft, wrinkled skin.

They knew this was exactly what they had always longed for, had desperately searched for during their youth and then later thought they could find it with somebody else.

A wave of unbelievable gratitude took hold of Tommy as Alfie’s voice drifted through his post-coital bliss.

“Guess what I heard today on the radio, my love,” Alfie said, his enthusiasm making his voice sound years younger.

“Hmm?” Tommy had already been nearly asleep, and the mischievous tone of Alfie made him suspicious, but he was too tired to pay much attention to it.

“Karl Marx, that old communist himself, got a statue today at Highgate cemetery.” Tommy drowsily wondered why Alfie was telling  him this in such a triumphant voice. Alfie went on: “They said, ‘the face has formidable benignity, the face of a father who would chastise his children but always in sorrow’. Think your little communist lady back then would have liked that, no?”

“God, Alfie.” And no darkness in the world could prevent Alfie from practically feeling Tommy's eyes roll.

Tommy slowly positioned his head on Alfie’s chest.

“Benignity, hm?”

“Yeah.” Alfie pondered  “Always wished I could have been that wise Jew, owning benignity.”

Tommy slowly stroked Alfie’s wild hair that was streaked with tiny drops of sweat like the grass from the dew.

“Wouldn’t have done you much favor back then,” he whispered while closing the last of the distance between them.

“Come here,” he ordered, without any sharpness in his tone.

They shuffled around a bit, Alfie still mumbling incoherently when Tommy finally embraced Alfie in his arms, realizing he had never felt more at ease.

Yeah, it may have taken him decades to relax and just accept certain things, well accept himself and his needs and shortcomings, accept Alfie and him, but just look at them now. He smiled. Here they were, Tommy, now the big spoon, after years of him being roughly embraced, held close by a protective Alfie as he painfully shook during sleepless nights, chased by his nightmares. Tommy’s eyes started to burn, and he was glad they were already closed…

Once Alfie’s expression relaxed and his breathing got slower and deeper, Tommy leaned over, kissed his forehead, and whispered: “Good night, benign Jew." Only to add, barely audibly, “My love.”

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