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grey-water-colors · 3 years ago

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After All This Time (Bucky x Fem!Reader) Part 4

It's short, but I cried writing it. I've hit a bit of a writers block, but I think I've got that sorted out. I just needed to take a thinking shower and I got it. This will be my longest series and I'm trying to eek it out a bit, but I'm still new at this, so please have patience.

Summary: The real world is a scary place, even more so when you’re alone. You live alone in a apartment filed with the figurative ghosts of your memories. You’ve both changed since you last met your fiancé, but can love mend the gap after all this time.

Pairing: Bucky x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Talk of torture, death, triggers. Mentions of humiliation. Sadness, depression, self-loathing. ANGST. Fluff comes next time I think.

Word Count: 2,066 Shorter than usual, but I think I make up for it in feels.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A knock at the door startles Y/N out of her thoughts. She hadn’t really left the apartment for anything other than her job, which was only two days a week. Despite having almost completely shutting down, the house was clean.

Y/N opened the door and gaped at the person on the other side.

“Steve? What are you doing here?”

Steve just smiled. “May I come in?”

She opened the door wider so Steve could walk through, then shut the door gently. She turned around and watched Steve walk to the couch on the opposite wall and take a seat. She opted to perch on the arm of the wingback.

“To what do I owe this visit?”

Steve laughed quietly, amused with her. “I could say I just wanted to visit an old friend,” he smiled.

Y/N smiled but it fell as soon as it came. “But that isn’t the case is it?”

Steve sighed and she could see the same wear and tear in his eyes that every soldier carried around. He looked older, despite looking only in his 30’s. She supposed war does that to people though.

“I’m here to apologize for Bucky. He was out of line. I could hardly believe that he did what he did. I had hoped that if I gave him time, he would come here and do it himself.”

“You don’t need to apologize for him. I get it. I really do, and to a certain degree, he was right. But I have my own reasons for being here.”

Steve just nodded. “Has Sam told you about him?”

She let out a harsh laugh. “He didn’t need to. I was there. I know full well what he went through.”

“I wish I knew-,” he paused. “I wish I knew how to help. To ease his burden.”

“We all have our crosses to carry, some heavier than others. What we, and hundreds of others, went through was a horrific experience that isn’t easily put into words. He seems better though, right?”

Steve nodded, looking for words, “He isn’t the same.”

“None of us are,” she whispered. “That’s not the point of it though. If you’re trying to get the old Bucky back then you’re beating a dead horse. Help him become who he is now. Someone with more baggage than any person should ever carry. Don’t try to change him.”

“I’ll work on that. Speaking of people who have changed, are you ok? Sam says you haven’t been down to the VA in a while. He’s getting worried.”

Y/N shrugged and looked away. She wasn’t ok, but if she told that to Steve, he would do everything in his power to help her and she didn’t want his kind of help.

She put on a small smile. “If we’re going to talk about people changing, I think we should talk about you. What happened to scrawny Steve? You were my height the last I saw you and now you’re a buff giant.”

He laughed. “I’ve a lot to catch you up on.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Steve. Before you leave, I’ve got something that I was hoping you’d give to Jam- Bucky.”

“Yes. Of course.”

Y/N handed him a letter. The writing on the outside just said ‘Bucky’.

“I’ll get this to him.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a knock on Bucky’s door, then Steve walked in. Bucky looked at Steve with a look of sadness and self-loathing.

“What’d she say?” he whispered.

“That there was no reason to apologize.”

Bucky huffed. “Bullshit. I yelled at her. I called her weak and pathetic,” he looked away. “She would say something like that though.”

Steve sighed. “She gave me this to give to you.” He held out the letter.

“What’s in it?”

“No idea. She didn’t say and I didn’t ask.”

Bucky nodded, reluctant to open it.

Steve stood up and walked to the door. “I’ll let you read that in peace. I’ll be in the gym if you need me.”

Steve walked out and Bucky stared at the envelope in his hands. It was thick, and there was something small and lumpy in it.

He looked at, debating whether to open it or to put it in a drawer and leave it there till ate him alive. Curiosity got the best of him.

He opened the seal of the envelope with care, being sure not to rip it. When it was open he turned it over and something fell into his lap. His heart dropped.

There, on his lap, was the ring that been used to propose to her with. The last he had saw it, it had been nestled next her dog tags in the master bedroom. Why was it here?

He pulled out the folded paper and opened it. Smaller papers fell out onto his lap. They were old and had yellowed with time. He picked through some of them. His Social Security card, his birth certificate, and his bank papers. Everything he needed to restart his life outside of the avengers.

He finally started reading the letter.

~~~

Dear James,

Can I even call you James anymore? The only other person who called you that was your mother and maybe your sisters. There are so many things that I wanted to tell you when I saw you. To say to you, but then things, well you were there. I feel like I owe you a bit of an explanation.

As you know, I was to leave a week after you. My orders were to fly to London to work there for three weeks, then get new orders. That’s not important though. What is important is that week that I spent alone was torture.

I wasn’t raised ignorant of the troubles of the world. Just like the rest of our age, I grew up in the Great Depression. My parents lost their job, and we almost lost our house. I grew up with the aftermath of the first World War. According to my mother, my father never recovered. War does that to people. It rips away your soul, takes your very being. I knew that.

When the second World War started, I would lay awake next to you and pray that US wouldn’t get involved. It was my worst nightmare. When the US did join, I knew, somehow that our lives were over. You probably don’t remember that I spent almost every waking moment with you. I was so happy when you proposed, but heartbroken as well. I just knew.

Knew that we weren’t coming back.

I spent the days of that week after you left getting things in order. Papers in the lockbox, hide the lockbox key. Cover the furniture to preserve it. I took care of everything. I left the ring in the lockbox.

I spent my nights awake in your chair, wondering what you were doing. Wondering if you were thinking of me. I’ll never know.

I was in Germany during December of 44. I was traveling with a group of soldiers. Everything happened so fast. Gunshots, yelling, blood. So much blood. That shade of red in the snow will always be etched into my brain. The German soldiers took prisoners, I was one of them. Out of the 25 I was traveling with, I ended up being the only survivor.

I transferred into the hands of Hydra. A replacement for a dead lab rat. My predecessor. They tortured me for so long. Wore me down to nothing. Humiliated me for game.

Every night as I laid in my cell, all I could think of was you. The memories of us in those three years. How perfect they were.

Of course, they weren’t perfect. We had fights, but they were never too bad. The apartment itself wasn’t great either, but it was home. The ceiling leaked in the bathroom, the floors creaked in the hallway, and the water took fifteen minutes to heat up. When you’re being tortured though, I guess that the mind only sees the good. I fixated on the apartment. It became the safe place. The only place in the world where the monsters couldn’t get to me. I held onto this place as long as I could.

But as much as the apartment was my safe place, all my memories of it were with you. So you had melted into that feeling of safety.

After they blocked away those memories, I didn’t even know they were gone. I became their puppet, a lab rat with no past or identity. Until I met you again. I didn’t know you, those memories were tucked away. My heart knew you though. I felt safe around you, which didn’t make sense because you were the Winter Soldier. Oh, but we worked well together. We did a couple missions, and I was living off an emotion I didn’t even know the name to.

Love. I didn’t know what that word even meant anymore, or what it felt like, but my heart reminded me every time you looked at me.

In the end, it was my fault that you ended up with the trauma you carry around pertaining to me. I got emotional when it was time to go, and we both suffered the consequences for it.

That happened in 1997. I went onto ice for the last time with a damaged windpipe, minor brain damage, and no memories to speak of. I was sent to Africa, and was going to be undergoing testing there, but my handlers got killed. I remained on ice for 27 years until Wakandan soldiers found me.

Shuri worked for 6 months to get rid of all the damage done to me with help of the notes that traveled with me. I spent 7 more months drowning in everything. I remembered everything. Every test, every horrid thing they did to me. But the worst part was remembering you. Remembering you and knowing what happened to you broke me.

It turns out I was right all along. We weren’t going back. I had to come to terms with the fact that you weren’t going to come back to me. So I reveled in the memories of you. Of us.

I had so many emotional setbacks, I was stuck reliving memories just from small triggers. A wrong look could send me spiraling into a black hole. But then I’d remember the apartment.

I couldn’t wait to go back. The one thing that had kept me sane, alive, and hopeful. The king paid for a plane ticket and I was back in New York. I wasn’t ready.

I had been so stuck in remembering that I didn’t, couldn’t, process the new. Still I persisted, until I could be in that apartment again. I had convinced myself that it would fix everything.

That it would fix me.

But you probably know that isn’t how life works. Those same memories that propelled me and kept me afloat, are now the anchor that drags me under. I’m drowning in the memories, and they cling to me. I’m trapped in a prison of my own making, unable to leave the ghosts haunting my memories of things that will never be again.

I stay awake at night reliving the days where I was happy, carefree, and in-love. But the truth is that I can’t sleep in the bed we shared because you aren’t in it. I can’t look at pictures of us, because we aren’t them anymore. I can’t wear the ring, because we are strangers.

So I live in a museum of things that shouldn’t exist anymore because I can’t move on. This apartment is killing me inside, but I can’t leave because I’ve convinced myself that this is the only place I’ll be safe.

The truth is, I am safe in this apartment, because the only thing that can hurt me here is myself.

Along with this letter, I’m also returning the ring. It belongs to you. I have also included your bank account numbers, so that you can access your accounts. I’m sure you won’t have as much trouble as I did.

I’d offer you a key, but I don’t think you’d ever want to step foot in here again. Truthfully, if I were you, I wouldn’t either, lest you get stuck here too.

Maybe in another life we could have been together longer, but just not in this one.

Love,

Sincerely,

Y/N

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes #bucky barnes au #bucky fic #mcu #mcu imagine #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel universe #the avengers #x reader #reader insert

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tsunfucker · 3 years ago

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The End of Evangelion [Theatrical Trailer]

(Screen text: So, everybody just go and die...)

Staff (in Japanese alphabetical order)

Random women's voices: You don't really know if it's love until after the infatuation stops. Men just want a mother figure who'll spoil them. Men...You doit with them once and they think they own you. Ritsuko? Yeah, that's okay,too. You'll be sorry for that. That's not romantic in the least. Men are all scum... Don't think I'm going to forgive you!

----------------------------------------- TITLE SCREEN: THE END OF EVANGELION Neon Genesis Evangelion Cinema Edition - Air/Sincerely Yours (My Pure Heart For You) -----------------------------------------

(Screen text: Then, why are you here?) (Screen text: ...Is it okay for me to be here?) -----------------------------------------

Premiering July 19 (Sat.) Advance tickets including original poster on sale. General admission: 1500 yen Students: 1200 yen Created by the EVA Production Committee (Project EVA) Distributed by Toei Studios, Inc. This film is animated. -----------------------------------------

TITLE SCREEN: THE END OF EVANGELION Neon Genesis Evangelion Cinema Edition - Air/Sincerely Yours (My Pure Heart For You) Premiering July 19 (Sat.) Created by the EVA Production Committee (Project EVA) Distributed by Toei Studios, Inc. -----------------------------------------

Toei Studios, Inc. logo in triangle

Eirin (Eiga Rinri Kitei Kanri Iinkai = Motion Picture Code of Ethics Committee) registration in circle

(Vertical screen text: Neon Genesis Evangelion Cinema Edition)

The End of Evangelion Episode 25: Air/Love is destructive. :Translated Script

OPENING SCENE Shinji stands silently before the lake created by the explosion of EVA-00, triggered by Rei in episode number 23, which also destroyed Tokyo-3.

SCENE: Hospital - 1st Cranial Nerve Department Shinji in Asuka's hospital room (No. 303), Asuka lying in bed -----------------------------------

Background announcement: Sections 2 and 3 of the East Wing will close at 6 p.m. today. Staff are requested to finish all work by 4: 30 p.m.

Shinji: I... I'm scared of both Misato and Ayanami... Help me... Help me, Asuka. Hey... Wake up! Come on... Wake up! Come on... Hey... Asuka... Asuka... ASUKA!! Help me... Help me... Help me... Help me... Help me! Call me an idiot like usual! HEY!!

(Shinji shakes Asuka roughly so that she rolls onto her back... Her hospital gown opens to reveal her naked except for her underwear... Shinji locks the door to the sickroom and his breathing gradually becomes faster and heavier ending with a muffled grunt (off screen). He stares down at the ejaculated fluids covering his right hand.)

I... I'm scum...

----------------------------------- TITLE SCREEN: Episode 25 - Air -----------------------------------

SCENE: NERV Command Center- Makoto, Shigeru and Maya talk as they sit in the dark and drink coffee. -----------------------------------

Maya (off screen): What!? Total prohibition of access to and from Headquarters!?

Makoto (off screen): I guess we're still at First Level Alert...

Maya (off screen): Why? Wasn't Kaworu* the last angel? (*Literally: "that boy")

Shigeru: That's right. All the angels have been destroyed.

Makoto: Isn't there supposed to be peace now?

Maya: Then, what'll happen to NERV? and the Evas? I wish Dr. Akagi was here...

Shigeru: NERV will probably be disbanded, and who knows what'll happen to us.

Makoto (off screen): We'll just have to stick it out until the Instrumentality Project starts.

SCENE: Misato in her car - turnout overlooking the new lake (Tokyo-3) -----------------------------------

Misato (to herself): Having reached its limit as a colony of flawed and separate entities, Humankind is to be artificially evolved into a perfect single being. The Instrumentality Project... An ideal world... And to achieve this the Committee plans to use not Adam or NERV, but Eva. Just like Kaji predicted.

SCENE: SEELE monoliths - Gendo and Fuyutsuki -----------------------------------

SEELE 01 (Keel): The promised time has come. With the Lance of Longinus now lost, complementation using Lilith is impossible. Our only hope is to proceed with EVA-01, Lilith's sole clone.

Gendo: While different from SEELE's scenario...

Fuyutsuki: Humans have existed to create Eva. (ambiguous)

Gendo: Humans should evolve into a new world. That is the purpose of the Eva series.

SEELE 09: We have no intention of giving up our human forms simply to enter the Ark called Eva.

SEELE 12: It is merely a rite of passage... To bring about the rebirth in those who are imprisoned.

SEELE 05(?): The fate of destruction is also the joy of rebirth.

SEELE 04(?): A sacrament to unite God, humans, and all other life forms in death.

Gendo: Death gives birth to nothing.

SEELE 01 (Keel): Then death is what you shall have.

(SEELE monoliths disappear)

Fuyutsuki: Humans exist because they have the will to live... And that is the reason she remained within Eva.

SCENE: Rei lying in bed in her apartment. She wakes up (looking surprisingly like Yui), looks out the window to see the full moon illuminating the night sky, and leaves. Gendo's glasses lie twisted and broken on the floor behind her. -----------------------------------

SCENE: Shinji lying awake in his room with his headphones on The tape counter reads 00:00:00 and the battery indicator flashes empty. -----------------------------------

SCENE: The new lake (The ruins of Tokyo-3) -----------------------------------

SCENE: NERV Computer Room Misato hacks into the system using a laptop computer. -----------------------------------

Misato: So, this is the truth behind Second Impact... (Screen flashes and alarm sounds) Have they noticed me!? No, that's not it! It's starting!

SCENE: NERV Command Center Alarms sound... emergency indicators light... -----------------------------------

NERV operator (background - male): No. 6 net - audio communications severed! Goura ground circuit, inoperative!

Fuyutsuki (to phone): Switch the left side over to blue emergency communications! Use the satellites if you have to! That's right! What's the situation on the right?

Person on Phone: Negative! All outgoing network and data lines are being cut off!!

Fuyutsuki: Are they after MAGI?

Shigeru (off screen): Data entry from all external nodes. (on screen) They're hacking the MAGI system!

Fuyutsuki: Just as I thought. Is it coming from MAGI-2 in Matsushiro (Tokyo-2)?

Shigeru: No, it's at least 5 MAGI type units. Hacking verified from Germany, China, the U.S....

Fuyutsuki: SEELE is mustering all of their forces. 5 to 1 odds... Not good.

Shigeru (off screen): No. 4 firewall breached!

Makoto: Locking the main database... Negative! We can't stop their invasion!

Maya (off screen): It's entering a deeper level! (on screen) Even the back-up circuit can't stop it!

Fuyutsuki (thinking): This is bad... Capture the MAGI system and you capture everything.

SCENE: Ritsuko in her cell -----------------------------------

Background announcement: General Quarters: Second Level Alert! Repeat - General Quarters: Second Level Alert!

(Cell door opens)

Background announcement(cont'd): All personnel report to designated posts at once.

Ritsuko: I know... MAGI's self-defense system.

Security staff at door: Yes. Lt. Ibuki at the No. 2 Command Center has the details.

Ritsuko: Even an abandoned woman has her uses... How egotistical.

SCENE: Misato approaching Command Center with phone -----------------------------------

Background announcement: Second Level Alert currently in effect! All B-floor non-combat personnel evacuate at once.

Misato: Status report?

Makoto (on phone): Hyuga here. Tokyo-2 has just issued Special Order A-801!

Misato: 801?

Makoto (on phone): That's right. Abolishment of special legal protection for NERV and transfer of all command to the government of Japan.

(Elevator door closes)

(NERV Command Center - Maya and Makoto)

Makoto: It's an ultimatum... Yes, and MAGI is being hacked. Things aren't looking good.

Maya: Ibuki here. Dr. Akagi has just begun protective countermeasures.

(Misato appears on elevator)

Misato: Ritsuko!?

(Ritsuko inside MAGI)

Ritsuko: (thinking) Am I acting foolish? Men and women are so illogical... (speaking) Isn't that right? (reaches up to Casper) Mother...

(NERV Command Center)

NERV operator (male): Goura ground circuit recovery rate up to 0.2%

Misato: How much longer?

NERV operator (female): No. 3 cable, Hakone back-up circuit still inoperative.

Makoto (off screen): We should just make it. Dr. Akagi is amazing, one more minute to the end of page 120... And only two-and-a-half more minutes until deployment of a primary firewall.

Misato (thinking): Just hacking MAGI? They're not going to let us off that easy... probably.

Fuyutsuki: MAGI is only the first skirmish. The bastards' objective is the direct take-over of headquarters and the two remaining Eva units.

Gendo: Yes. With not only Lilith, but even Adam in our hands....

Fuyutsuki: No wonder the old men are so worried.

(MAGI displays turn green)

Maya: Hacking against MAGI has been stopped. (off screen) A Danang Type-B defense screen has been deployed. External access is impossible for the next 62 hours.

(Ritsuko emerges from MAGI)

Ritsuko: See you in a bit, mother.

SCENE: SEELE monoliths -----------------------------------

SEELE 06: Ikari has executed a Type-666 protection program on the MAGI system. It won't be easy to breach.

SEELE 07: It appears that we will have to forego acquisition of MAGI.

SEELE 01: I had hoped to solve this peacefully, but that is not possible now. Take over the entire headquarters directly, at once!!

SCENE: Road by the lake - JSSDF officer with military phone -----------------------------------

JSSDF officer: Commence operations as planned.

(Soldiers pop up... aircraft fly... tanks and missiles fire... all hell breaks loose)

SCENE: NERV Command Center Alarms sound... Screens go blank... -----------------------------------

NERV operator (female): Radar sites 8 to 17 have gone dead!

Shigeru (off screen): JSSDF tech battalion advancing through Goura defense perimeter!

Makoto (off screen): Two battalions approaching from Gotemba!

NERV operators (background): Three air squadrons confirmed approaching from Mishima. Close down Futagoyama and Komagatake routes at once! Invasion through Goura 2nd defense perimeter point A... Currently engaging enemy.

Fuyutsuki: It seems that man's ultimate enemy is also man.

Gendo: General quarters. Go to First Level Battle Stations.

Maya: Battle Stations!? (whispered) But the enemy isn't an Angel... They're human like us.

Makoto (whispered): But they don't think that way.

SCENE: Outside NERV War scenes... NERV guard stabbed in back... Gates open and alarm sounds -----------------------------------

NERV Soldier: Hey, what's going on? Hello!?

NERV Lieutenant: What's going on?

NERV Soldier: The south hub-station...

(Truck explodes... Black suited troops move in.)

SCENE: NERV Command Center - More alarms... -----------------------------------

NERV operators (male): Daigatake tunnel cut off! Fire at West No. 5 freight entrance! Invading forces have entered Level 1! (female): South hub station off-line!

Misato: The forces attacking the west side are a decoy! If their real target is the Evas, they'll be going after the pilots! Have Shinji stand by at EVA-01, quickly!

Makoto: Affirmative!

Misato: Where's Asuka?

Shigeru: In sickroom 303.

(Shot of Asuka lying in bed)

Misato (off screen): Put her into EVA-02 anyway.

Maya: But her synchronization with Eva hasn't recovered yet.

Misato: Yes, but she'll definitely be killed if she stays there. The best place to hide her is inside EVA-02.

Maya: Affirmative! (to headset) Stop medication to pilot. Prepare for launch!

Misato: As soon as Asuka is inside EVA-02, hide it in the underground lake. It'll be found almost immediately, but it's better than leaving it in the cage. Where's Rei?

Shigeru: Whereabouts unknown... Unable to locate!

Misato: She'll be killed. Find her, quickly!

(Rei floating in LCL tank)

(EVA-02 launch)

Makoto: EVA-02 launched via No. 8 route. Stabilize at a depth of 70 meters.

Misato: Launch EVA-01 next! Deploy it inside the Geofront!

Shigeru: Negative! The pilot hasn't arrived yet!

Misato: What!? (Shinji verified on monitor screen) Oh, no....!

Background announcement: Closing all Central Dogma barricades up to Level 2. All non-combat personnel, evacuate via route 87.

(Shots of gates and barricades closing throughout NERV)

(NERV Command Center)

Shigeru (off screen): No. 3 underground barricade destroyed! Enemy Forces invading Level 2!

Fuyutsuki: The JSSDF have committed almost an entire division... It's only a matter of time before they take us over completely.

Gendo: Dr. Fuyutsuki, take care of things here.

Fuyutsuki: I understand. Give my regards to Yui.

(Shots of fighting and mayhem)

(NERV Command Center)

NERV operators (male): No response from Group 2! Communication with No. 77 Computer Room negative.

Shigeru: No. 52 monorail destroyed!

Background announcement: Explosion confirmed at No. 3 hub-station. Numerous dead. Damage unknown.

Makoto: This is terrible. Even Angels would be better.

Misato (thinking): It's no surprise... We're not used to killing other humans.

(More shots of death and destruction- female NERV officer drags the body of her comrade down a passage way, only to be struck down by a barrage of bullets from an invading JSSDF soldier)

JSSDF officer: Cut the cables starting with the red ones...

(NERV Command Center)

NERV operator (male): Level 3 Block B invaded! Defense impossible!

Shigeru (off screen): Enemy also confirmed in Block F! Main Bypass under crossfire!

Misato: Abandon Levels 1 to 3! Combat teams, retreat! Release Bakelite into all passages and pipes up to Section 803!

Shigeru: Affirmative!

(Shot of Bakelite being released)

Background announcement: Commence Bakelite injection from Section 703. 30 seconds to completion. Commence Bakelite injection from Section 737. 30 seconds to completion... (continues)

Misato: This should slow them down a bit.

Makoto: Major Katsuragi! No. 47 route has been cut off... Group 3 is unable to advance! If this continues Shinji will be...!

(Shot of Shinji hiding)

(NERV Command Center)

Misato (off screen): All non-combat personnel avoid close combat. (Misato takes out and loads her pistol) (on screen) The enemy are professionals... If you can't fall back to the Dogma, it's better to surrender. (whispered to Makoto) Sorry, take care of things here.

Makoto: Sure.

SCENE: Outside NERV -----------------------------------

Background: Mt. Futagoyama under control - Seal off Nagao Pass at once! *afirmitive* Visual confirmation of No. 1 Command Center explosion...

JSSDF Division Commander: This is more difficult than expected.

Sub Commander: We never get the easy jobs.

SCENE: NERV Command Center Makoto and Shigeru take out and ready small arms. -----------------------------------

Makoto: This is bad... We were never equipped with full-scale anti-personnel defense systems.

Shigeru: Yeah. Only counter-terrorist measures at best.

Makoto: If the JSSDF mounts a serious attack, we don't stand a chance.

Shigeru: Come to think of it, the reductions in funding for anti-personnel defense measures probably had this in mind from the beginning.

Makoto: That's entirely possible...

(Explosion in Command Center... Attacking forces move in...)

Background: No. 2 Command Center - Invaders on lower left floor.

Shigeru: (Handing pistol to Maya) Release the safety.

Maya: I... I can't shoot.

Shigeru: Of course you can! Just pretend this is training!

Maya: But I wasn't shooting at people, then!

Shigeru: Idiot! Shoot, or we're going to die!

----------------------------------- TITLE SCREEN - THE END OF EVANGELION EPISODE 25' - Love is destructive -----------------------------------

SCENE: Rei, staring into the tank containing the remains of her destroyed counterparts -----------------------------------

Gendo (off screen): Rei... I thought you'd be here. (on screen) The promised time has come. Let's go.

SCENE: Dead NERV personnel litter the passageway -----------------------------------

1st soldier (off screen): Level 2 completely secured, over.

2nd soldier (on radio): No. 2 Command Center - Still unable to secure original MAGI system. Currently engaging enemy on lower left floor.

JSSDF officer (on radio): Commence heat dissipation procedures on the fifth Malbolgia at once.

(NERV officer raises arms in surrender - JSSDF officer fires a round into his head, places his foot on the body, and fires two more shots.)

JSSDF officer (female): Eva pilots are to be terminated on sight. Unconditional execution of non-combat personnel authorized.

JSSDF officer (on radio): Yanagihara and Shinjo squads, enter lower levels immediately.

(Shinji hiding... and found by three JSSDF soldiers)

Soldier: 3rd pilot found - will proceed to eliminate. (Places barrel of gun against Shinji's forehead) Nothing personal, kid.

(Misato charges in firing to the rescue)

Misato (cynically): Nothing personal here either... (Shoots soldier) Come on... Let's get to EVA-01.

SCENE: Misato and Shinji in parking lot- Misato listening to enemy movements on a dead soldier's radio -----------------------------------

JSSDF radio: Yamagishi squad at No. 7 cage, report your status, over. Purple unit secured. No problems with Bakelite infusion. Red unit appears to have been launched... Currently searching for launch route used.

Misato: Damn! They're trying to prevent physical contact between Shinji and EVA-01. There's no time to lose... Quick, Shinji... (pause) Do you want to run away, or go to Eva? - Pick one! (Shinji says nothing) -If we stay here we'll die for nothing!

Shinji (whispering): Help me, Asuka... Help me...

Misato (exasperated): Hiding behind a girl at a time like this!? Running from reality... Lying to yourself!? Doing things half-assed is the worst thing you can do! So, stand up! Stand up!!

Shinji (whispering): No... Let me die. I don't want to do anything.

Misato (angry): Stop talking like a spoiled brat! You're still alive, aren't you? So, do all you can to keep yourself alive, and then die afterwards!

SCENE: NERV Command Center The battle continues... -----------------------------------

Fuyutsuki: Forget about here! Give top priority to isolating the Terminal Dogma!

Makoto: Everything else has been destroyed... Why don't they just blow up the Command Center, too?

Shigeru: I'm sure they'd like to take us out in a single blow, but the original MAGI system is right below us.

Makoto: They want the MAGI system intact, huh?

Shigeru: But we're defenseless against BC (biological and chemical) weaponry. If they use those, we're in trouble.

Makoto: N2 weapons, too...

(As if by coincidence, an N2 warhead drops, opening up the Geofront)

Shigeru: Speak of the devil!

Makoto: Isn't that a bit extreme!?

Fuyutsuki (smirking): Playing a bit rough, aren't we?

(Numerous missiles strike the Geofront directly)

Maya: Why do they want the Evas so badly!?

SCENE: Misato and Shinji in Misato's car - Scrapped Eva prototypes. -----------------------------------

Misato: They plan to initiate Third Impact - not with Angels, but by using the Eva series. 15 years ago, Second Impact was caused by humans on purpose. (Flashed shot: Second Impact) But that was in order to minimize the damage by returning Adam (flashed image: Giant of Light) to an embryonic state (flashed image: Embryo in attache case) before the other Angels awoke. (flashed image: graves) Shinji, we humans were born from a being called Lilith, who is the source of life just like Adam. We are the 18th Angel. (flashed image: DNA) The other Angels are possibilities of what we might have become - humans that gave up human form. (flashed image: Kaworu - Rei) Sadly, we had to reject each other - even though we're all human... Listen, Shinji... You must destroy all of the Eva series. It's the only way to stay alive.

SCENE: Office of the Prime Minister of Japan (Sounds of construction in the background) -----------------------------------

Prime Minister: The phone lines have gone dead.

(Screen text: Nagano Prefecture, New Tokyo-2 Prime Minister's Residence, No. 3 State Office)

Secretary: Yes, sir. Ballistic warhead impact was confirmed three minutes ago.

Prime Minister: The Instrumentality Project that NERV was secretly researching... Initiating Third Impact to annihilate mankind... The mere thought sends shivers down my spine.

Secretary: Humans must be the only creatures able to despise their own kind.

Prime Minister: All that's left is to take care of the NERV headquarters facilities.

Secretary: Do you want Germany or China to undertake the re-development?

Prime Minister: No - We won't be taken advantage of. Seal it up for 20 years, just like old Tokyo.

SCENE: Outside in the Geofront. -----------------------------------

1st soldier (on radio): Surface heat receding. High-pressure steam discharges have also subsided.

2nd soldier (on radio): Initial location of all units completed.

JSSDF Sub Commander:: Dogma Level 3 and the purple unit have been secured.

JSSDF Commander:: And the red unit?

Intelligence officer: Found in the underground lake at a depth of 70 meters. The pilot's status is unknown.

SCENE: Asuka curled up in the fetal position inside EVA-02 Entry Plug -----------------------------------

Asuka: ...I'm alive...

(Shots of depth charges firing and exploding around EVA-02)

Asuka: (Whispered at first then repeated growing louder and stronger) I don't want to die... I don't want to die... I don't want to die...

(Another voice mixes with Asuka's)

I don't want to die... (You're still alive) I don't want to die... (You mustn't die yet) I don't want to die... (You must live) I don't want to die... (I won't let you die) I don't want to die... (Don't kill me) I don't want to die... (You're still alive) I don't want to die... (I won't let you die yet) I don't want to die... (You must keep living) I don't want to die... (Die for me!) I don't want to die... (You mustn't die yet!) I don't want to die... (Die!) I don't want to die... (You're alive!) I don't want to die... I don't want to DIE!!

(Flashback to Asuka as a child with mother)

Child-Asuka: Mama... So this is where you've been? Mama!

(Asuka clasps her mother's hand and EVA-02 awakens.)

SCENE: Geofront lake -> Giant cross-shaped explosion -----------------------------------

1st soldier: What the!?

2nd soldier: Did we get it!?

(EVA-02 emerges and starts fighting)

Asuka (thinking): Mama... Mama! I understand now... The meaning of the AT Field. It's always protecting me! Always watching over me! (speaking) Always... always together! Mama!

(Misato and Shinji in Misato's car)

Maya (on radio): EVA-02 has activated! Asuka's okay! She's alive!

Misato: Asuka!?

(Asuka fighting)

JSSDF officer: The cable! That thing's power cable! Concentrate all fire power on the cable!

(Cable is severed)

Asuka: Shit!! Even without the cable... I still have 12,000 plates of special armor... and my AT Field! I can't lose! Not against you!!

(JSSDF forces are easily beaten by Eva-02 and Asuka)

SCENE: SEELE monoliths -----------------------------------

SEELE 01: The loathsome Evangelion... Do they stand in our way yet again? It seems that one must fight fire with fire.

SCENE: EVA-05 to -13 released -> Asuka -----------------------------------

Asuka: The Eva series!? They've been completed?

(NERV Command Center)

Fuyutsuki: Deployment of all nine units equipped with the S2 system!? Isn't that a bit excessive? Or, do they plan to initiate it here!!?

(Eva series land)

Misato (on phone): Listen Asuka. You must destroy all of the EVA series. I'll have Shinji there to help assist you soon. Do your best. (changes lines - to Makoto) We can get to EVA-01 via emergency route No. 20, right?

Makoto (on phone): Affirmative. We've secured three seperate power sources just in case. As long as you enter within three minutes, you can reach the No. 7 cage directly.

(Misato starts dragging Shinji)

(Asuka in EVA-02)

Asuka: I have to destroy them all? Is she forgetting she's talking to a convalescent? Nine units in three and a half minutes... That works out to only 20 seconds apiece!

(Asuka attacks)

Asuka: Erst! (German: "That's one!")

SCENE: Misato and Shinji - Emergency Elevator R-10-20 -----------------------------------

Misato: Here it is.

(Shots fire... Misato is hit, but they enter the shaft and the door closes)

1st soldier: They got away...

2nd soldier (to radio): Unable to terminate target. Standing by for orders to pursue...

JSSDF officer (on radio): Negative. That area is scheduled for demolition. Pull back immediately.

2nd soldier: Yes, sir.

(Misato and Shinji in passageway)

Misato (slumped against wall - labored breathing): Th... That should hold them off... for a while. I'm okay... It's not as serious... as it looks. (staggers to feet and opens gate) There's still power - We can make it.

(Misato pins Shinji against gate)

-Shinji... from here out you're on your own. You have to make the decisions by yourself - without anyone's help.

Shinji: I... I can't do it. I just can't... I can't pilot Eva if it means I'm going to hurt or even kill other people. I have no right to do that. I thought that piloting Eva was my only choice... But I was just fooling myself. I don't understand anything - I'm not worthy to pilot Eva. There's nothing that I can do for other people! I've done terrible things to Asuka, and even killed Kaworu... There isn't a shred of kindness in me! Only dishonesty and cowardice... If I can only hurt people, then I'd rather not do anything at all!

Misato (angrily): I'm not going to feel sorry for you. If you don't want to be hurt, then just die without doing anything at all!

(Shinji starts crying)

-Crying won't help you now!

(Misato's tone becomes gentler)

-You hate yourself, right? That's why you hurt other people... Because you know that hurting other people is more painful than hurting yourself. But, no matter what happens, remember that it was your decision. And that makes it worthwhile, Shinji - Because you decided by yourself! So stop lying to yourself... Think about what you can do... And then live with your decisions.

Shinji: But you're... you're not me! You don't understand anything about ME!!

(Misato slams Shinji against the gate)

Misato (harshly): So what if I'm not you!? Are you just going to give up now!? If you stay here and do nothing, I won't forgive you! I'll NEVER forgive you!!

(Misato's tone changes to desperation)

-Nobody's perfect. You realize that you've made a mistake, and then regret it... That's all I've ever known. Nothing but empty happiness and hating myself. But... I feel like I always grew from the experience!

Misato (gently): Listen, Shinji. Pilot Eva once more and find yourself. Pilot Eva to face the questions "Why did you come here?" "Why are you here?" Find your own answers. And then... after finding yourself... come back to me.

(Misato places her cross in Shinji's hand)

Misato: It's a promise. Now, go.

(Misato kisses Shinji deeply)

Misato(sultry voice): That's a grownup kiss. We'll do the rest when you get back...

(Misato pushes the stunned Shinji into the elevator and then collapses)

Misato (weakly): If I knew it would end this way... I would've done like Asuka said... And changed the carpet... Right, Pen-pen? Kaji... did I do all right?

(A ghostly Rei stands above Misato, then an explosion -> Shinji crying in elevator. Looking at Misato's blood spattered cross and tasting her blood in his mouth, Shinji slides into the corner, sobbing.)

SCENE: Asuka fighting Eva series -----------------------------------

(Shinji standing in front of EVA-01 encased in solidified Bakelite)

Asuka (on speaker): Jeeez! Don't they ever stop!? And I can't even count on that idiot Shinji!!

SCENE: Terminal Dogma - Gendo, Rei and Lilith - Ritsuko sitting at edge of LCL pool -----------------------------------

Ritsuko: I've been waiting for you.

(Ritsuko stands and draws a gun... Asuka fighting... Back to Ritsuko)

Ritsuko: I'm sorry... I secretly altered MAGI's program earlier. A daughter's final request... Mother... die with me.

(Ritsuko presses something in her pocket, but nothing happens.)

Ritsuko: It didn't activate? Why!? (Pulls portable terminal from pocket - Casper-3: Rejected)

(gasp) Betrayed by Casper! How could you, Mother? Choosing your man over your own daughter...

(Gendo draws his gun)

Gendo: Ritsuko Akagi, I truly... (Gendo's lips move, but you can't hear him.)

Ritsuko (surprised, but then smiles): ... Liar....

(Gendo shoots Ritsuko, who falls back into the pool of LCL before a ghostly Rei.)

SCENE: NERV Command Center The battle rages on - Maya monitors EVA-02 via laptop computer -----------------------------------

Makoto: What's happening outside?

Maya: Less than a minute before EVA-02 reaches its operational limit! At this rate, Asuka will...!

(Asuka fighting the Eva series)

Asuka: I can't lose!

(Shinji sitting in front of EVA-01)

Asuka (on speaker): Not with Mama watching me!

Shinji: Mama... Mother?

(Back to Asuka fighting)

Asuka: These are the last ones!

(As Asuka finishes off the last Evas, one of the Eva series' swords comes flying at her... She stops it with her AT Field, but it turns into the Lance of Longinus)

Asuka: The Lance of Longinus!?

(The Lance pierces the AT Field, then EVA-02's head... Asuka shrieks and EVA-02 powers down... Asuka clutches futilely at the controls)

(NERV Command Center)

Maya: Internal power source depleted... Operational limit reached. EVA-02... down. What!? The destroyed... Eva series!?

(Eva series reactivates)

Maya: The Eva series have reactivated!

Shigeru: Are they're going to finish her off!?

(Eva series flock over EVA-02 and rip it apart like carrion birds)

Makoto: What's happening?

Maya: (gagging) I can't look! I... I can't watch anymore!

(Maya's laptop shows EVA-02's body display blanking out piece by piece.)

Makoto: This is...? EVA-02!?

(Geofront, where EVA-02 is being ripped apart)

Asuka (snarling): I'll kill you... Kill... kill... kill you... Kill... I'll kill you... I'll kill you all... (repeated)

(EVA-02 attempts to reactivate)

(NERV Command Center)

Makoto: Berserker?

Maya: Asuka! Stop!!

Asuka: Kill you all... I'll kill you... I'll kill you all... (repeated)

(Asuka's arm splits in two as a Lance of Longinus splits EVA-02's arm - Eva series impale EVA-02 with their lances)

(Maya gasps - Shinji sitting in front of EVA-01)

Maya (on speaker - screaming): Shinji!! EVA-02! Asuka! Asuka... she's...!

Shinji: But I can't pilot Eva... There's nothing I can do...

(EVA-01 breaks free from the Bakelite and clutches at Shinji)

Shinji: Mother!?

(Terminal Dogma - Rei and Gendo)

Gendo: Has EVA-01 finally awakened?

(NERV headquarters pyramid explodes upwards in a giant cross which turns into wings - EVA-01 appears howling in the Geofront with a demon's face and a set of wings)

JSSDF Sub Commander: Evangelion Unit One?

JSSDF Commander: It's the devil himself!!

(Shinji subdued inside EVA-01 entry plug)

Shinji: Asuka...

(Shinji sees the mangled remains of EVA-02 and screams)

Shinji: AHHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

(Screen text: To be continued )

-Episode 25 End Credits spiraling in helix with end theme, Thanatos: If I Can't Be Yours)

The End of Evangelion Episode 26: Sincerely Yours/I need you. :Translated Script

Screen text: I wish to express my deepest thanks to all the staff, cast, friends and especially the five young ladies who helped to bring this picture to its conclusion once again.

Thank you, Hideaki Anno

Red Cross w/ black text- THE END OF EVANGELION ----------------------------------- SCENE: Terminal Dogma - Gendo and Rei before Lilith -----------------------------------

Gendo: Adam and I are now as one... For this is the only way to be with Yui again. The forbidden joining of Adam and Lilith.

(Rei's arm falls off)

There's no time... Your AT Field can no longer hold your shape. Let's begin, Rei. Release your AT Field, the barrier of your heart. Complement your imperfect heart, leave your useless body... Merge all souls into one. And then, take me to Yui's side.

(Gendo places his hand on Rei's left breast and begins to merge with her)

(Rei cringes as waves of pleasure course through her body, a small gasp escapes her lips.)

----------------------------------- TITLE SCREEN: Episode 26 - Sincerely Yours (My Pure Heart For You) -----------------------------------

(EVA-01 in Geofront - Shinji subdued inside EVA-01 entry plug)

Shinji: Asuka...

(Shinji sees the mangled remains of EVA-02 and screams)

Shinji: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

(Terminal Dogma - Gendo and Rei)

Rei (startled = unspoken): Ikari...!

(EVA-01 bursts free of its restraining plates and its wings form into a cross)

(The Lance of Longinus pulls free of the moon and flies toward earth as if drawn by EVA-01)

JSSDF Intelligence Officer: Unidentified object approaching at high-speed from the outer atmosphere.

JSSDF Commander: What!?

(NERV Command Center)

Fuyutsuki: No!... Not the Lance of Longinus!?

(The Lance of Longinus stops just short of EVA-01's throat.)

SCENE: SEELE monoliths -----------------------------------

SEELE 01: At long last our hopes are to be realized.

SEELE 04: The original Lance of Longinus has returned as well.

SEELE 09: While somewhat fewer than planned, it will have to do.

ALL (chanting): Return the Eva series to its rightful form. Evangelize humankind and restore us to our true form. With indiscriminate death and prayers, we return to our original state.

SEELE 01: And let all souls find peace. Now, let the sacrament begin!

(EVA-01 is crucified by the Eva series and lifted upwards)

SCENE: NERV Command Center -----------------------------------

Makoto: EVA-01 has been captured!

Shigeru: Altitude 12,000 meters! ...and rising!

Fuyutsuki: SEELE bastards... Do they plan to use EVA-01 as the well of souls!? ¹

(Eva series release EVA-01... Shinji in entry plug with marks on palms)

SCENE: SEELE monoliths -----------------------------------

SEELE 09?: EVA-01 has been marked with the stigmata (sacred insignia).

All (chanting): To restore the Tree of Life!

SEELE 01: Our servants, the Eva series...

(Keel appears) Their existence has all been for this one moment.

(Eva series move to the positions of the Sephroticum and shine in circles around the cross of EVA-01)

SCENE: NERV Command Center) -----------------------------------

Shigeru (off screen): The Eva series have opened up their S2 systems!

Makoto (off screen): Dimensional values inverting! They're going negative! Measurement impossible... Numerical expression invalid!

Fuyutsuki: An anti-AT Field...

(Eva series form into the Sephiroticum (Tree of Life))

Maya: All the data are just like 15 years ago! Then... this really is... The prelude to Third Impact!

SCENE: Outside NERV -----------------------------------

1st soldier: S2 system level critical!

Background: Abort operations! All units pull back at once!

2nd soldier: We... We can't maintain molecular attraction any longer!

JSSDF Commander: Mission... failed...

(A massive explosion envelopes the Geofront)

SCENE: NERV Command Center shaking from the force of the explosion -----------------------------------

Shigeru: Direct impact! Surface layers melting!

Makoto: Second wave excavating the headquarters periphery! It's exposing the outer hull!

Background: Main JSSDF force annihilated!

Fuyutsuki: They're just physical shock waves! Set the absorbers to maximum level - It should hold!

(The explosion expands outward from the Geofront, revealing the egg of Lilith: the Black Moon)

SCENE: SEELE monoliths -----------------------------------

SEELE 08/09: With the Purification of the Red Earth... That bespeaks time eternal...

SEELE 11: First, return the Geofront...

Keel: To its true form.

(Pull-back shot of the Earth and Lilith's Egg)

Fuyutsuki (off screen): The egg of Lilith... the genesis of human life... the Black Moon... We have no desire to return to that empty shell, (on screen) But even that depends on the will of Lilith.

SCENE: Terminal Dogma -----------------------------------

Gendo: It seems to have begun... Rei, take me to Yui's side.

(Rei's abdomen tightens around Gendo's hand)

Gendo: What!?

(Rei absorbs Adam's embryo along with Gendo's right arm, and rejects Gendo)

Rei: I'm not your doll.

Gendo: Why!?

Rei: Because I'm not you.

(Rei's arm reforms)

Gendo (strained): Rei...! Please! Wait... Rei!

Rei: No. Ikari is calling me.

Gendo: Rei!

(Rei ascends to Lilith)

Rei: I'm home...

(Screen text: Welcome back.)

(Rei is absorbed into Lilith... Lilith's heart starts beating... Her legs reform and she descends from the cross... The mask of SEELE falls off and Lillith takes Rei's form)

Gendo: Rei...

SCENE: NERV Command Center -----------------------------------

Shigeru: Unidentified high-energy source approaching rapidly from Terminal Dogma!

Makoto: AT Field verified! Analysis pattern blue!!

Maya: It's not... an Angel!?

Makoto: No! It's... a person!? It's human!

(Lilith-Rei rises through the Command Center... Lilith-Rei's hand passes through Maya, who shrieks in terror)

(Shinji inside the suspended EVA-01)

Shinji: Damn... Damn... Damn... Damn!

(Lilith-Rei appears)

Shinji: Ayanami...? Rei...!?

(Shinji screams as Lilith-Rei focuses on EVA-01 and cups it in her hands)

Shinji: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!!

SCENE: SEELE monoliths -----------------------------------

All (chanting): Evangelion Unit 01's pilot... Complement humankind with your imperfect ego.

Keel: The moment of the Third Retribution has come.

(Eva series form into pattern)

SCENE: NERV Command Center -----------------------------------

Shigeru: The Eva series' AT Fields are resonating!

Makoto: And amplifying further!

Fuyutsuki: Has the assimilation with Rei begun?

(Eva series take Rei's laughing faces... Shinji/EVA-01 scream and EVA-01's core is exposed... Shinji clutches futilely at the controls)

Shinji: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ASUKA!!! AHHHHHH!!!

Shigeru: Psychograph signal down!

Makoto: Destrado² materializing!

Fuyutsuki: Surely the pilot's ego can't take much more...

SCENE: Shinji, curled into a ball within Eva-01's entry plug -----------------------------------

Shinji (whimpering): No... No... No... No... No... No...!

Kaworu (off screen): Do you want it to stop?

(Lilith-Kaworu appears)

Shinji: Is that where you've been? Kaworu?

(Shinji resigns himself to Kaworu's outstretched hands... The Lance of Longinus approaches EVA-01's core)

SCENE: NERV Command Center -----------------------------------

Shigeru: Solenoid graph inverting! ego barrier weakening!

Makoto: AT Field shifting to pattern red!

Fuyutsuki: The Fruit of Life possessed by Angels, And the Fruit of Wisdom possessed by humans...

(The Lance penetrates the core and merges with EVA-01 into the Tree of Life)

Fuyutsuki (off screen): Having obtained them both, EVA-01 has become like a God. And now it has been restored to the propagule of souls... the Tree of Life. Will it become the Ark to save humankind from the nothingness of Third Impact? Or the demon that destroys us all? Our future lies in the hands of Ikari's son.

Maya (clutching at Shigeru's sleeve): Did... Did we do the right thing?

Shigeru: How should I know!?

(Lilith-Kaworu transforms into Lilith-Rei with hands cupped around EVA-01)

Yui (voice): This Rei is your heart... Your very hopes and dreams...

Rei (voice): What do you wish for?

SCENE: Inside Shinji's Mind (In a park - Shinji as a child) -----------------------------------

Shinji (voice): I see... It's just like when I started the cello. I thought that if I came here, I could find something...

Child A: Come on, Shinji!

Child B: Let's build a castle!

Child-Shinji (smiling): Okay.

Child A: Oh, here comes Mama!

Child B: We have to go home now!

Child A: Bye-bye!

Child A and B (laughing): Mama... Mama!

(Shinji builds a pyramid (NERV headquarters) alone, and then destroys it... Crying, he starts to build again)

(Random thought sequence - inside Shinji's mind)

Asuka: Jeeez! I get so pissed off whenever I look at you!

Shinji: Because I'm like you...?

Child-Asuka (crying): Mama!

Asuka (sleep-talking): Ma... ma...

Shinji (staring at Misato's cross): Mama...?

Misato (voice): I wasn't able to become Shinji's mother after all...

(Kaji's and Misato's college apartment)

Misato: Mmmm, let's do it.

Kaji: Again? Aren't you supposed to meet your friend at school today?

Misato: Hmm? Oh yeah, Ritsuko. It's okay, we still have time...

Kaji: We've been cooped up here for a week now...

Misato: Yeah, but I think I'm getting the hang of it... so come on...

(The lovemaking begins and continues in the background)

Misato: I probably just did this to prove that I existed.

Asuka: How idiotic! It's just two lonely adults comforting each other.

Ritsuko (precisely): We want to feel needed, even if it's only physical.

Misato: I feel wanted, and that makes me happy.

Asuka: It's just an easy way for you feel that you're worth something.

Shinji (disgusted = thinking): This is Misato? She does... this?

Misato: Yes, this is also me... The melting into one another's hearts... The me that Shinji doesn't know. Reality does involve pain, but you just have to accept it.

Asuka: Aaahh... I wonder if I'll act like Misato when I grow up?

(Shinji and Asuka in Misato's apartment)

Asuka: Say... wanna kiss?..

Misato: You mustn't!

Asuka: Or are you afraid?

Misato: It's not something kids should do.

Asuka: Okay, here goes...

Asuka: You don't understand anything! Stay away from me!

Shinji: (Hand twitching) ... I do understand.

Asuka: No you don't, you IDIOT! (Asuka kicks Shinji - Shinji's hand convulses) You really think you understand me!? You think that you can help me? That is so ARROGANT! You couldn't possibly understand me!!

Shinji: How can I understand... If you don't say anything? You don't say anything... You don't talk to me... How can I understand you? It's IMPOSSIBLE!!

Rei: Ikari, did you try to understand?

Shinji (sulking): I tried...

(blue image of Shinji in Asuka's sickroom from 'Air')

Asuka: Idiot! I 'know' about your jerk-off fantasies of me. Do it again like usual... I'll even stand here and watch.

(Rei, Asuka and Shinji inside an empty train - Asuka standing over Shinji)

Asuka: If you can't be all mine, then I don't need you!

Shinji: Then, be nice to me...

Asuka/Misato/Rei: We are nice to you.

Shinji: LIARS!! You're all just hiding behind a smile! You just want to keep things ambiguous!

Rei: Because the truth hurts us all... Because it's very, very distressing.

Shinji: But ambiguity only makes me insecure.³

Rei: That's just an excuse...

Shinji: But it makes me afraid... Afraid that I won't be needed again someday. It makes me uneasy! It worries me! Let me hear your voice! Interact with me!! Care about me!!!

(Shinji and Asuka in Misato's apartment - Asuka sitting dejectedly at table)

Shinji: I want to help you in some way... and to be with you forever.

Asuka: Then, don't do anything. Don't come near me anymore... Because all you ever do is hurt me.

Shinji: Asuka, help me! You're... you're the only one that can!

Asuka: Liar... (Shinji cringes) To you, anybody will do! (Asuka gets up from table and backs Shinji up against the wall) You're afraid of Misato and the First... and of your mother and father, too!

Shinji: Asuka...

Asuka(cont'd): You're only using me as an escape - because that's the easiest way not to get hurt!

Shinji: Asuka, help me!

Asuka: Because that's the easiest way not to get hurt!

Shinji (desperately): Please, help me!

Asuka (angrily): You've never really liked anyone!

(Asuka shoves Shinji, who crumples to the floor, taking the coffee pot with him)

Asuka (angrily): You're all you have! But you've never even learned to like yourself!! (staring disdainfully down at Shinji lying helplessly amidst the spilt coffee) How pathetic...

Shinji (weakly - getting to his feet): Help me... Somebody... Somebody help me... Help me... Help me... Me... Help ME!! (throws the table aside) Don't leave me alone! Don't abandon me! Don't kill me! (picks up a chair and throws it at Asuka's feet)

Asuka (coldly): ... No...

(Shinji strangles Asuka - Komm Susser Tod (Come Sweet Death) begins to play)

SCENE: Third Impact (Psychological scene - Flashing, random shots: crayon drawings of death, fish in a bucket under the sun, a dog lying dead on a street, fish head in a jar...) (Flashing screen text: "Evangelism", "Dead Sea Scrolls", "Shito", Various episode titles from the TV series, etc.) -----------------------------------

Shinji: Nobody understands me.

Rei: You didn't understand anything.

Shinji: I thought it was supposed to be a world without unpleasantness... without uncertainity.

Rei: Because you thought that everyone else was like you.

Shinji: Betrayed! You've betrayed my feelings!!

Rei: You've misunderstood from the start. You simply assumed without asking.

Shinji: Nobody wants me. So, everybody just die.

Rei: Then, what are those hands for?

Shinji: Nobody cares whether I exist or not... Nothing will change. So, everybody just die.

Rei: Then, what is that heart for?

Shinji: It'd be better if I wasn't here either. So I should just die, too.

Rei: Then, why are you here?

(Shinji as a child, crying with a large travel bag next to him)

Shinji: Is it okay for me to be here?

(Screen text: "Silence")

Shinji (screaming): NOOOOOOOOOOO!!

----------------------------------- SCENE: NERV Command Center -----------------------------------

Makoto: Pilot's response has infinitely approached zero!

Shigeru: Eva series and Geofront passing through the E layer! -And still rising!

(Shot of Black Moon rising)

MAGI announcement: Current altitude 220,000 km. Entering F layer.

Makoto: All Eva units - still active!

Shigeru: The Anti-AT Field from Lilith... it's expanding further! It's materializing!

(The earth's surface under the Black Moon turns white spreading outwards and Lilith-Rei emerges, cupping the Black Moon in her hands)

Makoto: Anti-AT Field critical limit exceeded!

Shigeru: No...! If this continues, individual life-forms will be unable to maintain their separate entities!

(Lilith-Rei spreads her wings)

Fuyutsuki: The Chamber of Guf (Hall of Souls) has been unsealed... Has the door to the world's beginning and end finally opened?

(Souls begin to gather around the Black Moon)

(Countless Reis begin to turn people into LCL)

Rei(s): The world is overflowing with sadness. People are surrounded by emptiness... And loneliness has filled their hearts.

(In the Command Center, Makoto is dissolved into LCL by a smiling apparition of Misato... Shigeru dissolves while cowering under the console trying to escape from multiple Reis)

Fuyutsuki (smiling at Yui floating above him like an angel): Ikari, did you finally meet Yui, too? (dissolves into LCL)

Maya (hands trembling over keyboard): AT Fields... Everyone's AT Fields are disappearing. Is this the answer? Is this what I was searching for? (Ritsuko appears- quickly types on Maya's laptop) (gasp) Dr. Akagi...!?

Ritsuko: Maya...

Maya: Ritsuko! Ritsuko! Ritsuko! Ritsuko! Ahh!

(Maya dissolves into LCL - as her dismembered hand flies across the screen, the words "I need you." are visible on the PC display)

SCENE: SEELE monoliths vanish one after another -----------------------------------

SEELE 01: The beginning and the end are as one. Good... Everything is as it should be...

(Keel appears... and then dissolves into LCL, leaving behind the mechanical remains of his lower body)

SCENE: Gendo lying on floor in Terminal Dogma -----------------------------------

Gendo: I've been waiting for this moment for so long... To finally be with you again, Yui. When I'm with Shinji, I only hurt him. So, it's better that I do nothing.

Yui: So, you were afraid of Shinji.

Gendo: I don't believe that I can be loved by others... I'm not worthy of love.

Kaworu: You're just running away. You simply reject the world before you get hurt.

Yui: Afraid of the shapeless, invisible barriers that separate people...

Rei: You just closed your heart to others.

Gendo: So, this is my retribution. Forgive me... Shinji.

(Demon-like EVA-01 bites Gendo in half... Rei II picks up Gendo's fallen glasses. The three clones of Rei stand together.)

(Eva series impale their cores on the Lance replicas with gasps of ecstasy... Countless crosses spring up as a red wave speeds across the earth's surface... Souls flow from the Earth to the Black Moon and then into Lilith-Rei's hands... An eye appears in Lilith-Rei's forehead into which the EVA-01/Lance cross plunges itself and disappears...)

SCENE: Inside Lilith-Rei - Shinji hears laughing voices and sees countless spirit-Reis flowing towards a red core -----------------------------------

Shinji: (gasp)Ayanami... Rei?

(Inside Shinji's mind - Flashing psychological scenes)

Random voices (Asuka, Misato, etc.): I hate you. I wouldn't be caught dead with you! Don't get me wrong... Do you really think I could ever like you? You have nothing to do with my life anymore. Get away from me! ... and don't call me anymore! Stubborn bastard... Don't follow me around anymore. Your type makes me sick! I'm sorry... (laughter) We're nothing more than friends. Annoying bastard... Why don't you learn to give up? There's no way I'd ever go back to you. I HATE YOU! Go away! (laughter) It'd be better if you'd never been born. Dammit, get away from me! I hate you! You're a pain in the ass! (laughter)

(Asuka's voice) Wimp...

(Shinji, lying on his back)

Misato (over Shinji): If it's that painful, you can stop.

Rei (over Shinji): If you really don't like it, you can run away.

Misato (voice): Do you want to be at ease? To feel at peace? Do you want to become one with me? To have our bodies and souls... become one.

Asuka (voice): But, if I have to be with you, I'd rather die!

(Empty theater - Jesus Bleibet Meine Freude (Jesus, Joy of Man's Desiring) begins to play... Real-life scenes of urban Tokyo)

Shinji (voice): Hey...

Misato (voice): What?

Shinji (voice): What are dreams?

Misato (voice): Dreams?

Rei: Yes, dreams.

(Packed theater)

(Screen text: Do you feel good?)

(Three girls standing still in crowd)

Shinji (voice): I don't understand... I don't really understand reality.

Rei (voice): So, you can't understand the gap between other's reality and your own truth.

Shinji (voice): I don't know where to find happiness.

Rei (voice): So, you can only find happiness in your dreams.

(Crowded street- camera focuses on three individuals; dressed as Misato, Rei, and Asuka)

Shinji (voice): Then, this isn't reality... Because no one is here.

Rei (voice): Yes, it's a dream.

Shinji (voice): So, I'm not here either.

Rei (voice): You were trying to remake reality with convenient fantasies.

Shinji (voice): Is that wrong?

Rei (voice): You were using fabrications to escape from reality.

Shinji (voice): Can't I dream alone?

Rei (voice): That would not be a dream. It would just be compensating for reality.

(Packed theater -> empty theater)

Shinji (voice): Then... where is my dream?

Rei (voice): It is the continuation of reality.

Shinji (voice): Where is... my reality?

Rei (voice): It is at the end of your dream.

(Flashing Japanese text and images)

SCENE: Blood/LCL gushes from Lilith-Rei's neck as she leans backwards Shinji and Rei merged together in the sea of LCL -----------------------------------

Shinji: Ayanami... where are we?

Rei: This is the sea of LCL... The primordial soup of life. A world without AT Fields... without your own shape. An ambiguous world where it is impossible to tell where you end and other people start. A fragile world where you exist everywhere, and thus exist nowhere.

Shinji: Have I died?

Rei: No, everything has just been joined into one. This is the world you have been hoping for... your world.

Shinji (releasing Misato's cross from his left hand): But... this isn't right. I don't think this is right.

Rei: If you wish once more for the existence of others, the barriers of the heart will separate everyone once more... And the fear of other people will begin again.

Shinji: That's all right... (disengages Rei from him and clasps her hand) Thank you.

(Shinji and Rei, Shinji's head lying in Rei's lap)

Shinji: I feel that there were only hateful things there. So I'm sure it was okay to run away. But there was nothing good in the place I ran to, either. After all, I didn't exist there... which is the same as no one existing.

Kaworu: Is it okay for AT Fields to hurt you and others once more?

Shinji: I don't mind. But, what are you two within my heart?

Rei: Hope. The hope that people might be able to understand one another.

Kaworu: And the words 'I love you'.

Shinji: But that's just pretending - a self-intoxicating belief... like a prayer. It can't possibly last forever. Sooner or later I'll be betrayed... And they'll leave me. Still... I want to meet them again, because I believe my feelings at that time were real.

SCENE: Shinji rejects Human Instrumentality, Lilith-Rei collapses backwards and her wings vanish... EVA-01 breaks out from Lilith-Rei's eye and grows wings... The Black Moon divides into sections and explodes, showering Lilith-Rei with LCL which falls to Earth and spreads outward...) -----------------------------------

Kaworu: Reality is in an unfamiliar place, and dreams are within reality.

Rei: And the truth is within your heart.

(Lilith-Rei's body begins to fall apart)

Kaworu: For it is the hearts of people that create their appearance.

Rei: And new images will change peoples' hearts and appearances. Images... the power of imagination... The power to create your own future, and to make time flow.

Kaworu: But people must act of their own free will, or nothing will change at all.

Rei: So you must find your lost self on your own... Even if you lose your own words, or become lost in others' words.

(EVA-01 grasps and splits the Lance of Longinus... The Lances impaling the Eva series burst and disappear)

Rei: Anyone can return to human form as long as they can imagine themselves in their own heart.

(The Eva series go silent and fall to Earth... Crosses rise into the heavens)

Yui (voice): Don't worry. All living things have the ability to return to their original form... and the heart to go on living. Anywhere can be heaven as long as you have the will to live. After all, you're alive... and you can find the chance to achieve happiness anywhere.

(Rei appears before the now silent EVA-01... EVA-01, the Lance, and millions of crosses continue to ascend into space)

Yui (voice): As long as the Sun, the Moon and the Earth exist, everything will be all right.

SCENE: Water drop- Yui caressing Shinji's cheek -----------------------------------

Yui: So, you'll be okay now?

Shinji: I still don't know where to find happiness... But I'll continue to think about whether it's good to be here... whether it was good to have been born. But in the end, it's just realizing the obvious over and over again. Because I am myself.

(Shinji emerges from the sea of LCL... Lilith-Rei's head splits)

Shinji: But mother... what will you do?

(Flashback to 13 years ago - Fuyutsuki, Yui and infant-Shinji)

Fuyutsuki: Humans create Evangelion to copy God... Is this our true goal?

Yui: Yes. Humans can only live on this planet, but Evangelion can live forever... together with the human soul that dwells within it.

(EVA-01 and the Lance of Longinus float in space)

Even after 5 billion years, when the Earth, the Moon, and even the Sun have disappeared, it will still exist as long as even one person still lives. It will be very lonely, but as long as that one person still lives...

Fuyutsuki: It will be the eternal proof that humankind has existed...

Shinji: Good-bye, mother.

----------------------------------- TITLE SCREEN - THE END OF EVANGELION ONE MORE FINAL: I need you. -----------------------------------

SCENE: Lilith-Rei's split head... Misato's cross nailed to post... Silent Eva series stand crucified in a LCL ocean... Waves of LCL gently lapping at the shore... Asuka and Shinji lie side by side on the beach... Shinji turns to see Rei standing over the LCL sea - then Rei vanishes... Shinji moves over Asuka begins to strangle her, but with a caress of his cheek, she stops him and he starts sobbing uncontrollably. -----------------------------------

Asuka: How disgusting.

(Screen text: Fin)

-blank screen-

Notes:

1- Literally, "as a medium"

2- Destrado: According to the theory advocated by E.Weiss, the energy of the self-destructive impulse. It is the antonym of Libido. Its meaning is different from the energy of "Instinct of Death", advocated by P. Federn, the master of Moltedor-Weiss.

3- Literally, "pushes me into a corner"

'Ego': The barrier of another or one's self.

"blank screen": In the original Japanese release of the film, after the screen text, 'Fin.' is shown, the screen goes completely black and no ending credits are shown. Audiences waited in the cinema for around 5 minutes to make sure the film was really over.

#dsmp #dream smp #dsmpblr

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seventeenlovesthree · 3 years ago

Text

I posted 7.248 times in 2021

826 posts created (11%)

6422 posts reblogged (89%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 7.8 posts.

I added 8.279 tags in 2021

#anime - 2101 posts

#digimon - 1286 posts

#fanart - 802 posts

#bayern - 661 posts

#bayern münchen - 659 posts

#fc bayern - 657 posts

#taichi yagami - 582 posts

#koushirou izumi - 537 posts

#die mannschaft - 507 posts

#sailor moon - 487 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and when i met certain people in my life who were naturally like this and still made me feel loved and accepted i had to adjust to it first

My Top Posts in 2021

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99 notes • Posted 2021-07-03 18:16:24 GMT

"There it was, that one moment that you will remember in the end, that will keep you awake at night. The moment you are working for as a footballer, the moment you are training and living for. That moment, when it's in your hands alone to get your team back into a knock out game, causing an entire football nation to fall into ecstasy. To get this chance and wasting it pains me awfully. It pains me for the sake of the entire DFB team, my teammates and our coach, all of those who have trusted in me to be there at the right time. But most of all, it pains me because of all the Germany fans out there, who supported us despite the difficult forecast throughout the tournament!

Thank you for your support. 🙏🏻"

100 notes • Posted 2021-06-30 08:26:53 GMT

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120 notes • Posted 2021-02-16 20:07:33 GMT

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145 notes • Posted 2021-06-13 10:11:41 GMT

Personal positive takeaways from the EUROs

I don’t care that he couldn’t maintain his form (because neither could anyone else), Robin Gosens is still a mentality monster and I adore his fighting spirit to the core, showing everyone what this team can be about. The urgency of a Lukas Podolski, the will of a Miroslav Klose, the humilty of Per Mertesacker... I hope this boy will still go places.

Everything Leon Goretzka stands for. The values, the spirit, the urgency. Sending hearts for the sake of equality, diversity and love. I can’t even applaud him enough.

Jamal Musiala is our future and I cannot wait to see him thrive soon, looking at that young little Bambi out there, even if he didn’t get many chances to shine yet, was pretty amazing.

A rainbow armband for every successful tackle, every scream of joy, everything it stands for. Bowing down to our captain, Manuel Neuer.

Mats Hummels’ redemption arc - he is one of the clear winners of this tournament and, for the first time since WC 2014, I can truly and genuinely say: I am tremendously happy for him, f*ck that own goal, he came back with the best attitude one could wish for and I’m here for it.

Thomas Müller being our real coach - his enthusiasm, his attitude and his way of leading, also being a positive role model for every younger player who also already displays talkative and supportive behaviour (looking at Goretzka again here!) is everything we were missing in the past two and a half years and whether he decides to stay or not... It was an honour to see him out there again.

Joshua Kimmich, our future emotional leader - there have been those before him who suffered the same defeats, but came out of it stronger. I can’t even tell you how much he reminds me of Bastian Schweinsteiger sometimes and we all know how THAT turned out in the end... <3

The team spirit - you could feel it, you could hear it, you could see it. Whether it’s playing music together, fooling around, holding hands... I for one couldn’t notice any divide within the team and its groups and even if the results on the pitch are what matter in the end, this is the way to go for the future. It always has been a good sign and I’m sure it will be one again eventually.

The glimpses of future success - I can’t even list everyone I want to continue seeing in the future, but Sané, Havertz and Gnabry already showed us what could happen next. Again, ALL players had their inconsistencies and there is literally no need to blame a single player for any of our defeats. They’ll be finding themselves. And they’ll find each other. Give it time.

Honourary mention: It’s not over yet, but all of this wouldn’t be half as amusing and entertaining if it wasn’t for Christoph Kramer, Per Mertesacker and Bastian Schweinsteiger doing their best to provide analysis, banter and support. Let me quote Basti here: “I will [get in touch with Thomas Müller eventually], but right now, it’s best to leave him alone.” Thank you for being marvelous, nostalgic as hell and beautifully honest.

I might add to this list soon, but at the top of my head - this is what will remain.

209 notes • Posted 2021-06-29 18:30:28 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #personal #huh it really is interesting that there's still so much football present in my review #i mean yes digimon has been consuming my entire soul this year #amazing

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niuniente · 5 years ago

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Anon who asked me 3 strangest (paranormal) thing ever happened to me

I’m sorry, I completely forgot that I made a promise to answer them when it’s not like 3am. But here you go now. Thanks for the ask back then, I guess it’s been 2 or 3 week already (sob, I’m sorry).

I’m actually going to tell 4 as a compensation.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Uninvited Sleepover Guest

This happened perhaps 7 years ago. I had a wide bed, wide enough for two people. I need lots of space as I toss and turn and spread like a starfish to every direction when I sleep.

I woke up and I noticed I was sleeping on my right side just at the edge of the bed. Very strange as I always sleep on my back, tangled with 8 pillows and 1-3 blankets. When I got my eyes open and realized my unnatural sleeping position, I felt how the mattress moved behind me. The same way as when someone gets up and leaves the bed. A big person, a grown up.

“Good, now it left!” I thought myself and turned around to spread all over the bed, and I fell asleep happy that I could sleep freely again. Apparently I had slept at the edge of the bed some time already and felt sore.

It wasn’t until morning when I woke up and remembered this and went “...WAIT WHAT, WHO OR WHAT WAS SLEEPING IN MY BED WITH ME?!”

I still don’t know was it something to be called what or who, because in Finnish we have 1 gender pronoun “hän” but yet everyone is simply called “se”: it. I’m it, you are it, he is it, she is it, they are it, god is it, president is it, God is it....

I don’t know either why it was on my bed. This has never happened before or after that.

Countess of Brune

This happened when I was 19 or 20. It’s a long story so I tell a short version of it.

I had vision while sleeping (not a dream). I met my inner child, who told me that I had been countess Brüne in 17th century. So in 16-something-something. I also saw a short vision of that life time.

After waking up, I had a feeling that Brüne was a German surname (so not a name of a place of a manor), and it’s written either with U or Ü. I had never heard that word before, so I wanted to research it. Back then I didn’t have good internet access. I could use my landlord’s computer and internet but only for a few minutes. I found only a short mentioning that Brune was a medieval German surname.

Fast forward to year 2019. By that time I had visited Berlin many times and wanted to start German studies, as I had fallen in love with the language. I visited nearby second hand shop and there were - first time ever - books in German, meant for teenagers. I thought I will buy one as it’s only 1 euro. It will help me with upcoming German studies.

I opened the book and saw the name of the previous owner:

Markus Brune.

The first evidence ever that Brune is a German surname. I told about this in a post here and also here . German followers told me that Brune and Brüne are indeed surnames in Germany. I did some research and found out:

- Brune/Brüne is a medieval surname which later rose to be a noble German family line. - Napoleon had an officer in his army called Brune (in 1804). He was a count.

So, Brune is a German noble family line that has counts and countesses in it.

Perhaps in some gallery or in old German manor there’s a painting of me or my husband count Brune there. I’m sure I could dig out more information if I had fluent understanding of German and money to travel freely around Germany for research.

The Shadow Creature

This happened more than 10 years ago. I woke up not feeling well and by the time I was walking to catch my bus to school I decided to skip this day. I went back home and back to bed.

As I was laying on the bed I heard noise coming from the hallway. I listened it and suddenly I hear my door being opened. It’s 7am, dark winter morning. First I thought it might be my landlord but why would he come in? He has never even seen me. Then I thought it must be my mother! Perhaps she’s heading shopping to a big city and wants to see if I want to go along!

I turn on my back. My front door is behind a corner next to my bed. I see how a really tall shadow figure with no facial features sneaks in, half-crouching, behind the corner. I think it’s mom and I try to say that she can turn on the lights as I’m awake.

But I can’t speak.

The tall figure notices me. It’s skinny and it has got really long limbs. It comes very slowly to my side and bends down, just in front of my face. It curiously looks at my face tilting its head (it has no face, it’s just a shadow). It’s just a few inches away from my face when I finally manage to make “HMMH”-sound. It spooks and disappears hastily, and I get my eyes open.

I’m laying on my bed like “....Okay, that definitely wasn’t mom.”

I have seen the same figure once after that. Both of my siblings have seen it, too, in different locations. It seems to be a “race” of its own. They are harmless, curious and very shy, running away as soon as someone spots them. I heard they are curious about people who have sunny, happy energy.

I have seen one photo taken from an American man’s basement, which featured the creature. We saw the photo together with my sister and we just looked at one another and went “That’s it! That’s the Shadow Thing! I can’t believe someone has photographed it!”

Here’s the photo:

Out of Body Experience (OBE)

I had this when I was 19 or 20, in November. It’s very remarkable and long, close to near-death experiences people have. I will tell only a short version here.

I was laying on the floor on a mattress on my stomach. Suddenly I felt like someone would have been yanking my legs upward. I thought it’s not physically possible, knees can’t bend like that. On 3rd yank, I sprung out of my body.

I ended up in a place of nothing. Just darkness and not even darkness, because nothing existed there; not even the darkness. No direction, sound, temperature, weight.... Nothing. I heard later that this is the space between physical and death realm but I didn’t know where I was.

“Oh fuck, I’m out of my body!” I said to myself. I could feel that my body is somewhere really far away, like on the other side of the globe. I had no idea how I can get back.

I had learned about angels as guardian spirits so I yelled them to help me. Two gigantic(!) angel men, one with blond hair and one with brown, came to me immediately. Brown haired guy took my left hand, blond my right. Suddenly I was out, in a summer scenery and I was watching myself from 3rd person perspective. I had 360 degree vision with no limitation, which I had never heard (I heard about it from NDE-person when I was 30. She had experienced the same. Until that I thought I had imagined it).

I thought that I what if my hand slips? If it slips, will I be yanked somewhere horrible again? The blond angel heard my thoughts and said to me; “Don’t worry; I can carry you.”

Then we were back in the dark nothingness with him and he was holding me in his arms. He was so huge I fitted his upper arms and my hands didn’t reach even near around his neck. He was probably 5-6 meters/ 16.5 - 20f tall. I was boggled that he was so kind and concerned of me. I managed to say my thanks and tell him that I’m really scared and would like to go back home.

“I’ll take you there,” he said.

I saw my body and my vision was spinning as I came back. I felt how I was placed gently within my body. I could see cupboards and the whole room, even when my eyes were closed. When I was placed back to my body, the angel said “Ok. Now you can start to gently wake up”.

My eyes shot open but my vision didn’t change, as I had already seen the room with eyes closed.

I was so afraid it would happen again I didn’t dare to go to sleep for hours. I later learned that the blond angel is my guardian angel.

#paranormal

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allie1804-fan · 4 years ago

Text

A Doorway is Opened (Chapter 2)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

It was June 2020 and progress was being made with plans to re-open film production - Keanu would soon be heading back to Germany to continue shooting the Matrix 4. With the lock-down restrictions on meeting friends lifting, Keanu invited Hannah to dinner at his house. He even cooked - a dish of spaghetti with prawns, fresh tomato and lemon that his sister had taught him. This would be their first meeting in 2 months and their last in 2 months due to the shooting schedule.

After dinner, they went through to his living room and sat on the sofa to talk through the latest draft of the script.

“So, you’re glad I pushed you on this aren’t you? Gave you something to do in lock-down huh?”

“Yeah OK you win”, she laughed. “I’m grateful to you for giving me the confidence to try”

She carried on:

“You know these past couple of months I’ve felt like the clouds have lifted, the clouds of grief …. and I know that’s partly just time passing but it’s also thanks to you and your friendship” she spoke in an almost whisper. When she met his gaze he was blushing again!

“The screenplay gave me a real focus for the first time since Mark died you know other than helping the boys and just putting one foot in front of the other”

He nodded his understanding

“I kind of feel like a plant coming back to life after a long dark winter”

He smiled to think he’d helped her to loosen grief’s grip on her soul.

“I heard a theory about this before. They said that your grief is always the same, the same size and just as painful but your life grows around it and cushions the pain”

Keanu nodded his agreement

“For me” he said, “sometimes my grief bursts forth like an alien from my chest when I least expect it. I hope we find a way to express your concept in the movie when it’s made - I love it so much. You have some beautiful ways of explaining grief”

“Well like I said, that one’s not mine, it’s just one I found that really resonated with me”

“You’re too modest”

They looked at each other. Somehow, the atmosphere had changed with the sharing of such deep feelings. Keanu looked at her, soft brown eyes holding hers for a few moments longer than felt comfortable. Suddenly he shook his head as if a shiver went through him

“Where are my manners, would you like some more wine”

“I better not, I’m driving and I’ve already had one glass” she said.

“You could always sleep over, in the spare room I mean, I mean I’m not hitting on you or anything, not that I wouldn’t want to, oh God! ……….”

By this point, Hannah had started laughing at his befuddlement and he started to giggle as well.

“Sorry for being such a dork – could you stay though?” he beseeched her with his eyes, or do you need to be back for the kids?, I know I sound like I’m begging, I kind of am I guess ……….. it would just be nice to talk some more ………. I mean what with we me going away for 2 months, Facetime just isn’t the same!”

Hannah took pity on him and placed her hand on top of his and stroked it softly

“1 I don’t need to be back for the boys, they’re at their grandparents this week and so 2, yes I could sleep over and 3 yes please, more wine!”

Keanu beamed and leapt up to fetch the bottle from the kitchen.

“What were we talking about before I started being a total dork?!

Hannah chuckled “oh grief, death, our usual cheery stuff!”

“Oh yes, of course we were, what else is there after all?!”

A ghost of a smiled showed on Hannah’s face.

“Do you mind telling me some more about Mark? How long were you together”

“Wow, over 30 years - we were just kids when we met, literally in elementary school. But we didn’t go out until I was 17, nearly 18. I guess I kind of stalked him until he caved in! We knew we were in love about a month in I guess and we got engaged whilst at uni but married just after. I was 23 so we had been married 27 years when he died”

“Wow you were so young to be getting married!”

“I know right! - when I think Toby is already nearly that age, it freaks me out big time. Anyway, I guess you almost know the rest, from the book. We were lucky in so many ways to find each other and stay in love throughout.

A comfortable silence fell as she reflected and wondered about his romantic history. She hoped their current intimacy meant it would be OK to ask.

“What about you? Who have been your big loves, if it’s OK to ask”

“Sure – I mean I think I can be confident of not seeing any of this in next week’s National Enquirer! Let me see, errrrm there was Penny. She drove with me from Toronto to LA when I left there to pursue my career. It wasn’t exactly serious - she knew how focussed on my acting I was, but she was special, my first steady girlfriend I guess.”

Keanu then told her about a few other steady girlfriends in the 80’s and early 90s. None of them had lasted beyond a year. Film and promotional schedules often overtook his time and took him away from LA making it hard to sustain relationships.

“And then there was Jennifer. We had a long distance thing largely as I was away filming the first Matrix not long after we hooked up. I think that added in my head to the romance of it all. Writing her letters on my little typewriter after long days on set, posting them from thousands of miles away. Once I got back to LA things felt less sure, she was never confident in us, always needing reassurance and I think she found the celebrity thing both exciting and overwhelming - like she was part way a fan, partly my lover, you know? Then she got pregnant and everything changed”

“Oh so Jennifer was the mother of your baby, the one who died?”

Hannah knew this one fact about him but had steered away from looking stuff up on-line about it. She counted him as a friend now so if anything was to be shared, it had to come from him.

“Yeah, Ava’s mother. 19 years ago…….so much water under the bridge.”

“Do you think about her often now?”

“Who? Jen or Ava?”

“Both I guess”

“Yeah sometimes. You know in a sliding doors type way, especially at Christmas. That’s when we lost Ava. Christmas Eve 1999. What about you, do you think about your lost babies?”

“Yes sometime of course ……. but I think it’s different for me. My lost babies paved the way for Josh. If they’d lived, he wouldn’t be here, so I don’t mourn them as maybe you mourn your daughter, do you see? Of course I do think of them and every Christmas we’d hang stars and angels on the tree for them. That’s how we remembered them and the pain of their loss.”

Hannah was quiet for a few moments, remembering

“Do you have a way, a ritual to remember Ava? Do you and your family do something to remember her?”

“I guess they always just try to make sure I’m not alone at Christmas. That’s threatened to happen a couple of times and then Brenda or Janey or Alexandra have stepped in you know to rescue me! Stop me embodying my meme!”

“Your meme?”

You know, “Sad Keanu”?

“That one must have passed me by! I’ll get the boys to explain to their boomer mom!”

“I’m so glad you’re a boomer mum as you say and not all over it when it comes to press and internet stuff about me. It’s refreshing. Makes me feel I can be me without all that stuff informing who you think I am. Sometimes it gets in the way with new people, you know? I know I can be myself around my old old friends like Alex (he was in Bill and Ted) and Rob (he was in the band with me)

“Wait you were in a band?”

“Yes back in the 90s, Dogstar. Our folk thrash punk band”

“Sounds interesting – I clearly wasn’t paying enough attention back in the 90s!”

“Well we weren’t exactly topping the charts so that would probably explain it!”

“Can I hear some of your stuff?”

“Sure”

Keanu fetched some cds and had a look through to pick a song, going for “And I Pray”.

“Gosh, a man of many talents” she praised “what did you play?”

“the bass”

“Cool”

“wanna listen to some more music? I can hook up my phone to the speakers and we can play things on Spotify”.

“Sure, so you’re au fait with all the new tech? I took me ages to get there and I still have loads of cds and vinyl”

“me too - believe me I’m generally way behind the curve with technology but my god-daughter and my kid sister both played a role in bringing me into the 21st century”

They spent the next couple of hours, huddled on the sofa, scrolling through music choices on his phone and sharing both his and her favourites as well as reminiscing about bands they’d grown up listening to and great concerts they’d been to.

It was around 1am, with Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here” softly playing that Hannah’s head lolled onto Keanu’s shoulder, the impact startling her back awake

“sorry, sorry” she said embarrassed

“hey no worries, you wanna go to bed now?” he asked

“Yeah, as you saw, my eyes are closing”

“Come on, let’s get you set up in the guest room, I’ve got a spare t-shirt you can sleep in if you like and there’s a new toothbrush in the en-suite with your room.

The room was a pretty one, perhaps decorated with his god-daughter in mind she thought. Once he’d shown her where things were and how to work the shower, Keanu bade her goodnight with a light kiss on her cheek. Despite being so tired, it took Hannah a good half hour to fall asleep. She touched the cheek where he’d kissed her and giggled inwardly at herself for feeling like a giddy teenager. In the past 2 months, she’d recognised her growing fondness for Keanu, putting it down to a mix of absence making the heart grow fonder and the Covid crisis making her susceptible. She’d found him very attractive way before she met him but she certainly hadn’t expected that he would reciprocate those nascent feelings. Tonight his lingering gaze as they talked about grief, his befuddlement trying to get her to stay and his soft goodnight kiss all made her wonder and maybe even hope. Tomorrow was another day.

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#keanu #keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves fanfiction #keanu reeves imagine #fluff #romance #miscarriage #stillbirth #same age

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kingofmyfancyheart · 5 years ago

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“Don’t you dream impossible things?”

On Friday August 2, 2019 one of my biggest dreams came true. I met my favourite musician, role model and best friend: TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT. Here’s my story:

So it was on a Tuesday evening when I received the message of messages on twitter. The Direct Message from Taylor Nation. I was just casually looking at my phone since it had been around 6 PM. I also got a message from Tayswiftdotcom about the ME! Vinyl, which I won… But of course I read the message from TN first and I was SHOOK. I don’t know my exact reaction, but I must have been in shock. I was even wondering if this really would be for secret sessions??? I first told my best friend – the one I trust with my heart – as fast as I can. It went like ‘OMG E’ ‘OMG KSJOD OMG’ and she knew what it was. She actually didn’t know more info. SHE JUST KNEW.

I told about the message to my parents, sister and another best friend too. My sister knew a bit about secret sessions and stuff already, but my parents didn’t. My mom was even a bit scared that I would get kidnapped or something jsfkdjsfldjs but I comforted her. This was all real and TN is real. Verified. Legit. It was real 100% SURE. The message was real. As soon as I read the message, I answered with my information and then the waiting began. And the wait seemed to be SO long!!! Although it wasn’t THAT long, but feeling wise… I kept checking my DM’s. Did they read my reply already? Fortunately I had things to do in the meantime. This helped me to distract myself from social media.

I got the call on Thursday, July 18, around 10 PM. It was after my mom’s birthday. I received a call waiting as I was calling with my sister already. It took me a few seconds to realize though. So I said “wait, I got a call” and checked the screen… and then I saw a US phone number. I immediately got back to my sister: “THEY’RE CALLING!!! I NEED TO HANG UP NOW.” So I hung up, but TN also did. So… I immediately called them back, while I ran upstairs with a notebook and pen. I didn’t even think about how much this call was going to cost me… I just didn’t realize, HAHAHA. I sat down behind my desk without even turning on the lights and waited. Then I heard “do I speak with Mrs. Jennifer?” and my nerves went SKY HIGH. It was Michael from Taylor Nation. The conversation remained 16 minutes and 23 seconds. I know, quite long, but that’s because of my lack of English… haha. During the call they invited me officially to go to the UK for… an event.

After the call it was time to rearrange things. Luckily enough I still had two weeks left. My sister helped me much with searching for flights and an accommodation. I’ve not much personal travel experience… I just really needed a little help. I wasn’t going to travel on my own, but with my mom who still had days off. We booked our accommodation in a lovely place near London. Of course I would have LOVED to sleep in the big city, but well… I’m definitely going back once. It was a nice and calm introduction to the UK for me.

On July 25 I had a lunch with my best friend E. We also had a little shopping spree. Of course I wanted to have a new outfit for this special day. AND I WASN’T THE PERSON WHO FOUND THE DRESS. No, my best friend spotted the dress and I immediately was like ‘YES!!! That’s it!’ It looked so romantic, lovely and it was screaming Lover at me.

In the two weeks before my flight I’ve been so excited. It’s been such a weird time, like… When I scrolled through my timeline and saw tweets about secret sessions (stuff like ‘which pose would you choose?’), I was giggling and thinking ‘wait, so I’m going to be THERE??? LIKE REALLY THERE – IN HER HOUSE?????’ It felt so insane and surreal. I couldn’t believe it.

We arrived in the UK on Thursday August 1 and took it slowly. We didn’t have much time and both my mom and me needed some time to acclimatize. We decided to stay just in the countryside of London, which was really okay to me. Actually I loved it very much. I love nature and more local places and especially the place where we stayed. On the other hand, our place still had this big shopping mall with shops like New Look, H&M and Top Shop. It was a small town, but not that boring haha.

Around 4 PM we were arriving at our accommodation, where we met the guest lady (Arie). She was so kind and friendly!!! And the house looked beautiful and lovely just like the town. My mom and me had room 5 which was one of the attic rooms. Normally we would have shared a bathroom with room 6, but that day we had a private one since room 6 hadn’t been booked yet.

So, when the guest lady was introducing herself, she also complimented my t-shirt. I wore my Meredith shirt from Taylor’s collection, so that was really nice! She even told me she was going to search for the shirt online! She needed it hahaha!!! That conversation made me like this lady even more.

But well… the day went by and suddenly it was Friday. August 2. THE DAY OF THE EVENT. And NOW I really felt the nerves and excitement. Yes, this morning I finally felt the nerves. Although it came even more later on the day, but I’ll talk about that soon. First things first, people. I’m the princess of details. (Taylor is the queen!)

We didn’t plan anything specific this day except for the event. I think I woke up around 7 AM first, but then I was going back to sleep. And then I woke up again around… ehm, 8:45 AM perhaps? I don’t know, but I woke up before my alarm set. (I set my alarm for 10 AM.) I ate my oats breakfast while staying in bed. Like, it was still a holiday, so let’s serve myself some breakfast in bed. My mom was also awake and had the same breakfast. After breakfast I watched one episode of Gilmore Girls and then afterwards it was time to get ready, I guess.

I was wearing the new bought dress and a flower headband, which seemed a really good idea. But I’ll come back at you about that later. We booked my taxi for 1:30 PM. I asked mom if she would walk with me to the gate. In this way she could see by herself who was going to bring me to the meeting point. It would made me feel a bit more safely. Also, it was a bit unclear whether the return taxi was included in the same booking as the afternoon one or not. This all ended well though. :) I arrived on the exact time as Google Maps told me I was going to be. This meant I was waaaaay too early, but well… Better early than too late, right? That’s why I brought a book with me (can you see me? – by Libby Scott & Rebecca Westcott). During the taxi ride the driver asked me where I was going. “Do you have to work?” he asked and so, I was like “no… I got invited for some event…” that’s it. Of course. I didn’t dare to tell ANYONE about this except the five people, who I trust with my whole heart. That was quite hard for me btw, since I’ve always been so honest to everyone. So, when I was arriving at the meeting point, I went into the lobby to sit down somewhere. I thought: no way that there’ll be someone already this early. But then there was this girl… she was on the phone, though, but I thought immediately: could she be invited too??? We were looking at each other a few times and then she hang up. She decided to sit near me and then… she (@yntcdtyler) asked. “Are you her for…?” And we were both like ‘YES!! FINALLY I CAN TALK WITH SOMEONE ABOUT IT.’ Apparently, I didn’t need to bring a book with me.

Later on more Swifties were arriving and for some reason we recognized each other immediately. Even though we didn’t really know each other. Or well… Sometimes WE DID KNOW each other. Like, that one time I met one of my fellow DUTCH SWIFTIES (@danique99xkiss) for the FIRST TIME AT THE MEETING POINT FOR A SECRET SESSION. Like… HOW??? APPARENTLY TAYLOR DECIDED TO INVITE US BOTH!! FOR! A! SECRET! SESSION! And we weren’t the only two Dutch Swifties. There were like six or seven people, who had Dutch as a native language. And there were so many different internationalities!!! People from Belgium, Spain, Croatia, Germany, Canada, even Singapore!!! But I was so glad with my fellow Dutchies. It made me feel a bit more comfortable. It was nice to meet everyone out there right before the evening of our lives was going to start.

Around 4 PM someone from TN walked over to us. She greeted us and took us with her, while everyone was thinking ‘IT’S STARTING!!!’ But unfortunately when we were inside, we still had to wait for like an hour. Hahaha, but well, we were together and again: it was so nice seeing everyone there! I just knew everyone was going to be sweet. We all had one big common interest. We were all here for the same reason. I sat next to my fellow Dutchies Danique, Britt (@alltoowonderland13) and Mila (@taylaaahhh-13) and also behind Laurens (@gotthatwhitetshirt) and a few other people. While everyone was mingling, walking around and talking with each other, I just sat there… Although I tried to talk too, but socializing isn’t my best treat. @ London Sessioners: Sorry if I was a bit quiet… I’ve always been the shy, introvert person… Please don’t think that I didn’t like you all, CAUSE I DID!!!

We had to leave all of our stuff in this room and couldn’t take a bag with us. And then, around 5 PM, we were about to leave… NOW IT WAS STARTING. FOR REAL. So everyone walked over to the door, where we were waiting to get on the buses. I stood next to Mila and realized that I hadn’t drunk water, yet. But in that moment I started to feel a bit dizzy or something… Maybe because of the nerves? So I decided to take a glass of water anyway. I didn’t want to faint omg. Mila and I got on the first bus and… I just kept thinking: THIS IS REAL!!!!

When our bus was arriving at THE HOUSE, someone from TN told us that that we had to pretend we’re excited, hahaha. They were going to film us, when we ran of the bus. Well, of course we didn’t need to PRETEND everything. Our feelings were ALL REAL. Duh. Oh btw, my first reaction to her house was like ‘omg this is really the house of a queen! It looks so royal!’ Like, it was so big!!!! I actually don’t know what I was thinking, when I walked through her front door… I guess I was just very impressed. And in shock. Oh and when we were all standing in the bus ready for our run, I said to no one in particular ‘I hope I won’t fall during my run’. I really felt my legs shaking jkdsfjksjf but fortunately it went well. I think I looked SUPER happy and enthusiastic.

Taylor’s house smelled so good. So, I don’t know exactly what I was thinking on my way through the hallway, but I know that for a moment I really thought (OKAY THIS IS GONNA SOUND REALLY WEIRD)… I really thought for a second that one of the security said ‘goedemorgen’ to me. I mean ‘good morning’, but in Dutch. I DON’T KNOW WHY I THOUGHT SO OMG, I’M JUST CRAZY HAHAHAHA. I think I was dreaming. But I really heard him saying ‘good morning’ in my own language, BUT THAT’S SO IMPOSSIBLE HAHAHAHA! @taylornation please confirm so I could decide if I’m really crazy or not

Anyway. I tried to take everything in so carefully. I just wanted to remember this experience very well, so I was paying attention to the most small details. She had so many perfumed candles around her house!!! And there was a cupboard in the dining room with many boardgames. The dining room was a very light and bright room because of all the windows and glass doors, which were all open widely. We were allowed to walk onto the porch too, where we could find cold drinks. Inside there was a table with pizza and burgers and also one with vegetables, fruit and Lover M&Ms (those were SO cute!!!) I remember how at first everyone was just walking around and looking at everything. No one dared to touch something lol, but soon enough people took food and drinks. And later people were sitting on the chairs. It was very surreal and bizarre to be walking around her house as casual like that. In the garden there was a trampoline too and two soccer goals. We thought those soccer goals were Joe’s idea, but that’s actually bsh*t. I mean, we all know Taylor can play soccer. Riiight.

Inside the house I was still a bit quiet and shy, but I really had the time of my life. I promise. I was just enjoying the smell of her house and the people surrounding me in silent. Besides, actually I just really couldn’t wait to hear her album!! But it was really amazing to spend time with the group of sessioners in London. At some point You Need To Calm Down was playing and everyone in the dining room started to sing SO loud. Like, really, REALLY loud!!! I was in shock!! And of course I just sang out loud with them! Some lyrics we even sang out LOUDER, like for example the sentence ‘AND SHADE NEVER MADE ANYBODY LESS GAY!!!!!’ That was SO awesome. I was standing next to the girl in the red dress (@taylorisglowinginthedark) and we immediately looked at each other after that sentence with this big smile <3 I really think Taylor heard us. She MUST HAVE. @taylorswift YOU MUST HAVE.

Not much later after this moment the listening session was going to start, but just before we go to that I still want you to tell about something. At another point there was a butterfly flying through the dining room and THAT WAS SUCH A MAGICAL MOMENT. For me it felt like Taylor was inside the room, but like, undercover. Hahaha. I know, surreal, but this whole day was surreal. So. But it was really one of my favourite moments. I mean, everyone was looking at the butterfly. It connected us just like Taylor and her music connects us <3

So, time to go into her living room. WHAT. YES. I SAT IN HER FREAKING LIVING ROOM!!!!! I SPEND A WHOLE EVENING WITH TAYLOR AND 70+ SWIFTIES. I sat somewhere in the back, because the room was full already when I walked in. But I found the perfect place. Inside a fire place btw hahahahaha, which wasn’t on fire of course hahahahfdhsfosjfosjf why did I say that? Of course it wasn’t on fire, sigh. My mind. Anyway, I sat half in the fire place and next to the air-conditioning AND a tissue box. So, perfect place. I shared the tissue box with Zita and Danique immediately, because I just KNEW we were going to need that. The parents from some Swifties were also sitting in the back on couches, and Tree of course, while we sat on those light pink blankets laying across the floor. Taylor put multiple cushions as well on the floor, so it looked all cosy. I loved the atmosphere. Up in the front there was a big chair with a side table, where obviously Taylor was going to sit with her iPod. THE IPOD. WITH THE MOST PRECIOUS THING. LOVER. We’d been surrounded by candles again and much wood. It was just a really cosy and warm place. Just as warm as her heart.

And then. . . . . . .Taylor walked in. AND WE SCREAMED. AND CRIED. AND SCREAMED. AND YELLED. She walked in from a door somewhere in the front, which lead to the kitchen, I guess. But I’m not sure. She was wearing a very soft and sweet outfit: pastel green shirt with stripes, white shorts and sneakers with stars pattern. I remember how I was just staring at her. I guess all I thought was ‘THIS IS REAL. SHE IS REAL.’ Her voice was so friendly and soft as well. It was truly amazing to hear all the backstories straight from her mouth. I could have listened to her FOR HOURS. I really wouldn’t mind. I was smiling really big the WHOLE time. I’m truly honest when I’m saying that I liked each song on the album. Also, Lover gave me many 1989 vibes, but more grown up.

During the listening session Taylor held a short break, so we could stretch legs and taste her SELFMADE PASTEL COLOURED RICE CRISPIES. AND THEY WERE DELICIOUS!!! Very sticky, but still very delicious. It was the perfect snack after hearing the most emotional song EVER.

Taylor took us outside while holding the plate with snacks. Although I was just realizing this in the dining room. Then I realized it was TAYLOR HERSELF who was walking in the front hahahaha. I really was on cloud nine. There were some Swifties who were allowed to jump on the trampoline. I didn’t hear this by myself at the moment, but apparently at that moment Taylor was saying ‘THOSE ARE MY KIDS’. After this she walked over to the parents – with a glass of white wine – to introduce herself, which is SO Taylor. And of course the parents took their children with them. It was all so amazing. The fact that she was just standing in the middle and talked to us in this casual way. Surreal. Taylor asked if people didn’t need to go to the toilet, but yeah, of course not. We all wanted to stay there with her. Duh. Hahaha!

After a while we were walking back inside for the second half of the listening part. First I was thinking of going to the toilet, but then I saw everyone going inside the living room and I thought ‘oh whatever’. Hahaha, I still had a place somewhere in the back though. But again not a bad place. Maybe it was even a better place. I had a bit more space now. I was still sitting next to Zita and Danique, and also to a girl with very cute cat shoes and @taylorisglowinginthedark. She had been sitting IN FRONT OF TAYLOR during the first half, which must have been a whole experience by itself!!! That’s also a reason why she wanted to sit more in the back now. I could understand. She wanted to give other persons the chance to have this kind of view also.

I tried to listen very carefully during the session. I couldn’t take my eyes off Taylor, but just because I didn’t want to miss a single thing!! I loved it so much how she was singing along with each song and doing those little dances. SHE’S SO CUTE, FUNNY AND SUCH A DORK!!! <3 When I was listening to the songs, I tried to let my body and feelings speak. I wanted it to experience as calm as possible, so I would let the songs sink in deeply. I thought that would possibly help me to NOT forget anything about this evening. If I’ll be listening to her album again on August 23 (or later), I hope I can remember everything again so clearly like I’m back again in her living room. This was such a special night. Once in a lifetime experience.

So, I said it already that I liked each song and that’s really TRUE. I’m not lying to you and also, this is just MY opinion. Personally I didn’t think during any song ‘meh…’ I also have some favourites… Track 7, 8 and 10… Not saying anything more. Just that.

After the listening session we were allowed to look into the DELUXE JOURNALS, which was such an honour. Unfortunately I didn’t hold one in my own hands, but well, I saw them and they looked really beautiful. And I was going to buy them (all) anyway. Hahahaha. Ever since we’ve heard about the content, I decided that I just want them ALL. GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL. My feeling between the listening session and the individual meet & greet was… weird. The evening was almost over, but the best part had to come now. And I just felt… I don’t know. But I know that I was walking from inside to the porch and back a few times. Mostly I stood with fellow Dutchies Mila and Danique, but sometimes it became a bit hot inside and so, I walked over to the porch. OH by the way, right after the listening part we got selfmade baking stuff again!! This time Taylor made VERY CUTE HEART-SHAPED PINK LOVER COOKIES. And since I’ve been a cookie monster, I ate them immediately of course. Although they were actually too beautiful to eat, but yeah… Wouldn’t it be rude if we did NOT eat them directly?

During the wait before the meet & greet I just couldn’t catch up with my mind anymore. I had so much stuff to process. It was TOO MUCH for my brain. But well, I survived anyway. But yeah, this evening was very surreal and a whole new fan experience.

Luckily I didn’t black out during my meet & greet with (THE ONE AND ONLY) Taylor Alison Swift. Since it all took a little longer than expected, some Swifties were given priority. For example, when people had to catch the train or booked a taxi. Something which I did indeed. Around 9:30 PM I told TN about this, but they were letting me wait anyway. Maybe it wasn’t necessary to give me priority, but apparently later on it was.

And then. . . . . . . I was in line for THE MEET & GREET. When I was standing there, I looked over my shoulder for a moment to check at my Dutch friends and was like ‘eeeek I’M ALMOST THERE’. I was standing behind the sweet girl from Singapore and we were both so nervous. Also, my eye decided to irritate JUST at that exact moment. Like, WHY???? Fortunately, I had everything under control before my moment with Tay. And I was so happy with the huge mirror in the hallway.

I don’t know the exact time of when I was walking into the living room. I didn’t wear a watch jksjdlfdsj, but I know what was happening at first. When I just entered the room, Taylor said to me, very enthusiastic, “THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING OVER!” followed by the BEST. HUG. EVER. It was a really big, warm and REAL hug. She didn’t let go until I was deciding to (unfortunately). After her “THANK YOU” I was like “YOU’RE WELCOME” and told her how I would have come anyway. How I’ve done anything to come, because I just had to be there. Something like that.

Then I told her that I came with my mom. So she responded “Oh, she’s here?!”, but I was like “no, she’s still in the bed & breakfast”. Then Taylor said “oh, could you thank your mom for me for taking you here, please?” which was SO SWEET OF HER. How she thought about my mom <3 During our conversation she had this very sweet and friendly face the whole time. SHE’S JUST SWEET, PERIOD.

At some point Taylor also called me Jenni, probably because of my necklace. So I was like “it’s Jennifer actually, but…” and then she was a bit confused. She responded: “Oh, I always thought it was Jenni! But I’ll call you Jennifer then.” And just how she said my name and nickname… such a moment. It felt so personal. Hearing your full name said by one of the biggest musicians. I just--

When I told her that I liked each song on the album, she was like “REALLY??” when she held up her hand for a HIGH FIVE. LOVE HER. Oh, and also, HOW COULD I FORGET THIS???? Taylor also said “I like the flowers in your hair!!!” which was such a sweet comment!!!!! I’m so happy that I wore the headband. I just thought ‘this is very Lover era, so I should wear it’, but didn’t think of THIS.

Then it was time for our picture.Taylor asked me if I was thinking about a pose already. I answered “maybe we can hug and ehm… hold hands??” So she asked me “oh, and do you want it like this…” – she took my hand and hold it in a ~normal~ way and then she intertwined our fingers – “or this?” And immediately I was like ‘YES!!!’ Then she hold me even closer to her and SNAP! PICTURE TAKEN! Afterwards I thought ‘I hope this picture turned out well??? Did I smile?? How did I look?’, but I didn’t ask about the picture anyway. Right before I walked out, Taylor was saying to me “SEE YOU ONLINE!” and so I responded “see you at a concert!!” and that’s that. Wow.

Outside the room the sweet, blonde girl with the camera – from TN – was waiting for me. She asked how it was and I was like “good”??? I didn’t really know what to answer, I was just in awe. I also got a customized bag with merchandise. And then I was walking into the bus, where everyone asked how it was and again I was like “GOOD”. Nothing more. I was really on cloud nine now and so much in shock.

When we were all waiting inside the bus to go back to the hotel, I felt really dreamy and sleepy. I also really felt the urge to call MY SISTER!! Or just someone, but I wanted to call my sister first <3 But yeah, we didn’t have our phones yet. So I talked a bit with my neighbour, which was the sweet girl from Singapore! Although she was talking more than me, but well :) I loved her energy. Then after some time the bus was going to leave. It was … ehm, around 11 PM? When the bus was driving away slowly, it came past the meeting room. And. . . YES, the curtains were open. So we had a little sneak peek inside and saw TAYLOR!!! Which made us scream of course haha. Unfortunately someone from TN decided to close the curtains then, which she did slowly though… And she was waving, haha. She looked sweet and friendly. A sweet goodbye :( <3

Back at the meeting point I was waiting outside with Britt. It felt weird to be back at that place, while having a Lover Secret Sessions tote bag with me. Like, SOMETHING VERY BIG HAPPENED TONIGHT. WE MET ONE OF THE BIGGEST POPSTARS. TAYLOR. SWIFT. TAYLOR SWIFT. WE WERE AT HER HOUSE!!! Britt was also panicking a bit, because she didn’t really know how to go back to her hostel. But luckily we fixed that together (and with a local AND Stephanie from TN!! SWEET!) and she booked a taxi, so she was safe apparently :) And then my taxi arrived at 11:30 PM. . . . . . .

I’m posting the story on August 18, which is more than two weeks later. I had some time to let it all sink in, which was quite hard. Like, it was just SO surreal. I keep using this word, but it’s just the only thing I could come up with. My feelings during this evening cannot really be described actually. I enjoyed EVERY. SINGLE. MINUTE. I wouldn’t have wanted to miss this experience!! I’m very grateful for the chance. Thank you @taylornation SO much for inviting me to @taylorswift‘s house. And thank you Taylor for letting me in your house! <3 I didn't tell you everything I wanted, since I had this whole list of things. But well... I had the time of my life with you and all the other Swifties. And that's what matters. This has been one of the happiest days of my life.

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worldcakecakecake · 6 years ago

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Feliciano and the King of Hearts

Chosen by the gods as the Queen of Hearts from the moment of birth, we follow Feliciano’s story as he grows into royal life, learns to rule, go against age old customs, and his relationship with his husband to be, the King of Hearts.

Chapter 1 I Chapter 2 I Chapter 3 I Chapter 4 I Chapter 5 I Chapter 6I Chapter 7 I Chapter 8 IChapter 9I Chapter 10I Chapter 11I Chapter 12 I Chapter 13 I Chapter 14 I Chapter 15 I Chapter 16 I Chapter 17 I Chapter 18 I Chapter 19I Chapter 20 I Chapter 21 I Chapter 22 I Chapter 23 I Chapter 24 I Chapter 25 I Chapter 26 I Chapter 27 I Chapter 28I Chapter 29 I Chapter 30 I Chapter 31 I Chapter 32 I Chapter 33 I Chapter 34 I Chapter 35 I Chapter 36 I Chapter 37I chapter 38 I Chapter 39 I Chapter 40 I Chapter 41 I Chapter 42 I Chapter 43 I Chapter 44 I Chapter 45 I Chapter 46I Chapter 47 I Chapter 48 I Chapter 49 I Chapter 50 I Chapter 51 I Chapter 52 I Chapter 53 I Chapter 54 I Chapter 55 I Chapter 56 I Chapter 57 I Chapter 58 I Chapter 59 I Chapter 60I Chapter 61 I Chapter 62 I Chapter 63

I continue to take forever posting, but please be patient, work …plus a lot of traveling now that I’m back in Europe. Posting this from Germany, more specifically and fantastically, from the Heart’s Kingdom capital, Berlin. I hope you enjoy and continue to await updates…even if sometimes they take months.

… Also, WARNING: THIS CHAPTER HAS NSFW

Chapter 64

They couldn’t explain it as anything else. It had been dark magic, Khaos’s magic especially. Ludwig had created dark magic with ease, letting it control him and be used to attack Feliciano. When they had announced it to a room full of dignitaries, all those eyes fell on him with question, fear and precaution, some who stood by him moving aside, fearing that he was capable of releasing it that instant. Ludwig hadn’t been able to take that silence, those judging eyes, as if they were glaring to Khaos instead of the Heartian King. He left the room when he couldn’t take that aggravation, hands tightening, biting his lips to not let himself shout, scream, even tear up for the castle to see. The slam he gave to the doors as he exited made many cringe, while others thought on how they could help, some beginning to know that they had to begin the books of generational power and Khaos’s dark magic.

It took three days for Feliciano to fully heal and be allowed leave of the nursing room. He did so with energy and elation, the type that made many question if he had truly been hit by a dark spell.

More important than anything was meeting with Ludwig, embracing and assuring each other of their ever-present love, as well as ready to research and find out about this new side his king just presented.

Ludwig hadn’t come to visit him at all during his time in the nursery room, and when he finally exited, he wasn’t there either, just the pierce to bring him into gloom. He settled off to look for him, many in the castle telling him the same of not knowing whereabouts, of how they had barely seen him the last few days and how haunting things had felt in the castle since. He checked their room, any rooms of leisure, kitchen, dinning, hall, even the ballroom. He only managed to feel his presence in the King’s library, hidden well between its many items, Feliciano knew.

Nobody, only but the King was allowed entrance unless they deemed it so, but Feliciano had already snuck in there enough and his desperation to see Ludwig was stronger than whatever old rule. He gently made his entrance, trying to make his steps subtle, the taps to be confused with the grand clock in the room. He settled deeper into the many old shelves of books, deep into its engulfment, not spotting Ludwig yet and fearing he wouldn’t be here either. That’s when he caught the sound of fabric, as gentle as his steps, Feliciano only catching it because he heightened his senses to find his beloved. He didn’t reveal himself instantly, watching instead as Ludwig leaned back on an old stack of books, playing with a deep red ribbon, wrapping it rather harshly around his hand. He didn’t word, stressed, and Feliciano feared he was even trying to hold his breath as he made this exercise. He would cover his hand in the ribbon, turn it about as if trying to find some change, before he untangled and started again in his other hand.

“Amore…” he called gently, thankfully not startling him, only an empty rise of his eyes, before he turned back to his activity. He gave him no greeting, not even something whispered, like back in those days that he pretended he wasn’t there. Feliciano would not let that happen again. He let himself come near, wrapping his arms around his own, laying on his shoulder, and despite whatever blocking Ludwig tried to do, he leaned towards it, for once stopping his wrapping, breathing and actually relaxing.

“I missed you,” Feliciano started.

“It was…only three days.” Although he had missed him as much, holding himself from letting his arms wrap around him.

“Are you…are you all right?” Feliciano then took his face, forcing him to look into him, watching the other soothe in those bright brown eyes.

Ludwig sighed, given up to them. “I hurt you…I am not,” he managed to admit, trembling as he raised his hands, dearly placing them on Feliciano’s arms, ever so softly pulling him closer. Feliciano let himself fall and completely be depended on his arms, his chest, his usual embrace.

“I’m certain that it wasn’t you.”

“Feliciano-”

“I know you would never, ever, do something like that against me.” He hated to mention this, but they had to address it. “You hold Romulus’s tainted dark magic…we…should have expected this,” he saddened.

Ludwig sighed, becoming looser. “I shouldn’t have done this either way…I really should have…kept my distance in the end. I did what I did to protect you…and I failed horribly at it. Our marriage only made this stronger…this wasn’t supposed to happen…this isn’t what I was planning.”

Feliciano only held tighter, insulted, biting away tears. “No,” he scolded rather harshly in this comfort. “Our marriage was our destiny, our happiness and just the strength this kingdom needs.” He looked up to Ludwig again, shinning eyes resonated well in this dark room. “I am blessed to have you as my husband and will risk anything to always keep you mine. We got Khaos’s books for a reason and I promised you that we will find a way to deal with this with the information. I admit we were focused on other readings and we could have momentarily forgotten…but it’s never too late to get you in control of it, to even use it in our favor,” Feliciano trusted and hoped.

“After what I did to you, I refuse to use that magic again.”

“The best way to come into terms and control it, is by accepting it. Whether you like it or not, it’s still a power that’s part of you and it’s there for your disposal. I know it’s scary and…with what happened to me especially, but we’ll be really careful, and make sure you learn everything so you can make something that is Khaos’s yours. I’m sure you won’t do this again.”

Ludwig felt like he hadn’t smiled since the day of the accident, chuckling and taking a dear hold of Feliciano’s hand. He raised it to his lips to kiss in length, then letting it caress over his jaw.

“I was also in the same position when…finding about all this and…having to use Augusta’s harp. It is intimidating, but…I’ve learned that the best way in dealing with it, is facing it head on, unafraid and confident.”

“When did you become so wise?” Ludwig chuckled.

“I am Queen of Hearts, Ludwig! I have to show my position proud.”

“Even when you cry when you read those horror stories?”

“Of course!”

“And when you’re the real rainbow cookie thief.”

Sudden silence.

“How did you know that?” Feliciano trusted to reveal himself.

“You left them in our room, plain to see.”

“Fine, I might be Queen but I still don’t know how to behave.”

They laughed and enjoyed from this small innocent moment.

Thus the studying began, the intense reading that kept Ludwig awake for hours in their shared bed, Feliciano most of the time having to take the books away from his hand so he could focus on getting some rest. Egildhard and others who had dedicated to learning about dark magic, would sit on for hours with Ludwig, getting him to try basic spells, getting that very control he wanted and even other difficult tactics that he did well to master and grow. Ludwig begged for the confining spot they had for this specific kind of training, no one but his given teachers, healers in the area at whatever emergency and ready cleansing potions that Ludwig liked to take afterwards, hoping it could wash away any evil.

After weeks, Egilhard found him ready to join Kiku and Feliciano in their usual battle training. That day, when Ludwig had entered the room, he did so shy and hesitant, afraid to even look at his usual opponents, who in turn smiled and were more than glad to have him back.

“Ludwig! You are back with your rulers!” Egilhard called out from his usual watching spot, the same smile as the Queen and Jack. Feliciano had to hold himself from jumping and clapping.

“Well, the rules had remained the same. I encourage you to try out everything you have learned. We have healers in the vicinity, and we will act quicker than last time if anything. Are you all ready?”

The three nodded, taking their positions, Ludwig the one that looked the most nervous.

“Begin!” Egilhard called out.

Feliciano started and went again with that energy orb spell, but this time, proof of his practice and power increase, he created many more, the training room a beautiful show of lights, and, which was indeed new to Ludwig, there was a reflection on the floor, like that of water. He knew there was reason for it, but for now, it didn’t show any effect. Kiku knew what it did though, having practiced on a spell that avoided its attack, using it to slide through this reflection like ice, ready. Feliciano began to swing dangerous balls of light like it was a game, picking any random one and just hurling, creating quite a beautiful show to Ludwig. Kiku, now unsheathing a pretend sword, began swinging, breaking them apart with a spell of his own. Feliciano, seeing his approach, did the amazement of getting as many orbs as possible to circle like a large ring, pushing it towards Kiku, sparks exploding beautifully in the reflection, hurling and tiring Kiku in silence, now having no other choice than to sit and regain energy, hoping that Ludwig could take it and distract Feliciano.

The King was actually fearful to face him, especially after these new spells that reminded well of his coming as Ace, but he did have to practice himself, and show his King power, and so he ran and began to formulate something in his mind.

Seeing his approach, whatever the reflection held, Feliciano intensified it and so Ludwig found himself slowed, weakening, every movement more of a force to make. Ludwig knew there was something in the dark spells he could use, that could liberate him, but still so hesitant, still so fearful.

When the force of this spell became too much, basically constricting him to slight pain, Ludwig decided on releasing and testing. He conjured a dark rope like light, managing to whip it to the floor, crashing like glass the reflection under him, revealing the familiar terrain of the training room, where he could move as he wished again. Before Feliciano could bring it back, that very same rope that still lingered he used to wrap around Feliciano’s leg, making him trip and loose his spell all completely. Feliciano quickly stood after cutting the rope with a spell of his own, then creating hardened red shields, ready for the close-up combat. Ludwig engulfed his hands in a dark magic, surely to intensify his punches. He was nervous as he walked forward, fearing what it could do if he didn’t keep his control, but Feliciano’s believing smile as he came closer made him smirk too, bringing forth the confidence to let him throw the first punch.

They kept well in their battle, both their spells doing well to defend and attack, in their deadly rendezvous giving just the time needed for Kiku to fully regain himself. He cut right between them, skillful, hidden, without any kind of expectance, leaving both Ludwig and Feliciano surprised as he managed to stop the dark magic Ludwig had used in his hands. There was a moment of impression as Ludwig now looked to his normal pale hands, Feliciano just as wondered, it was the weakness that Kiku did well to use and trip them.

Kiku stood ready for surely the battle that would come to him, sword, energy spells around him that grew like flowers, ready to act as a shield at whatever their fierceness.

Ludwig and Feliciano gazed between themselves and decided to go at him together. They struck their hands, and from its unwinding they created strong lighting bolts, lighting the entire arena in fierce colors that had many of the soldiers moving back. They stood back to back, uniting, intensifying and making it grow across the room. Kiku was frightful.

In coordination, exact, as they should be one mind as King and Queen, did they raise their hands and omitted their attack. Kiku tried what he could to hold it down with his sword, but it was too powerful, and so he had no other choice than to find cover in a makeshift rock in the area. Ludwig and Feliciano let the lightning dance around the room, loving its splendor and then feeling proud to know that they made it with their combined magic. Kiku couldn’t leave them in that for long, and so he settled on strong wind spells, enough to misdirect the direction of the lightning until Ludwig and Feliciano had to cover themselves. They continued using their combine magic to create a shield to protect them. It was in its shadow that Feliciano got an idea.

“I’m going to make this shield grow and blow, but I need you to use a Polynia spell with it.”

Ludwig’s eyes widened, being that a dark spell. “What? No! We haven’t done that combination! It could go horribly wrong!” He heavily worried, using instead more energy to keep the shield going.

“The books do say that it can be combined with other magic! We won’t know until we try. It's best if we do it now to practice and see where we could go with it!” Feliciano was so sure and ready, for once Ludwig being the one that feared, still crouching in his position as he kept the shield alive. He breathed, knowing that he could be just as brave, just as powerful and daring.

“All right,” he decided, with a determination that made Feliciano smile.

“We’ll make sure Kiku doesn’t get hurt,” Feliciano promised, beginning in silence the spell that made the shield grow as he wanted. Ludwig, still slightly as fearful, began his own incantation, finding concentration and control when he directed the movements of his hand to the ground, letting the spell arise, combining its air with the magic they used for their shield. In amazement to all, they saw the shield grow and even diminish, destroying every spark of lightning Kiku had taken to his control, now heading his direction, ready to attack the poor Jack with all its force. Kiku had no escape, summoning the hands of surrender that made Ludwig and Feliciano win.

In an amazing instant of cease, in a single slash of their hands, the spell engulfed the lightning to nothing, and the shield was gone, peace once again in the training room.

What came next were applauses, from Egilhard and the present soldiers. It was not the kind of reaction they were expecting, but the three royals had smiled, standing and joining to present themselves and hear Egilhard’s new words.

“Beautiful work! The three of you! Kiku, you broke a dark spell! How did you do that?”

“It was an intensified Zara spell. I actually read about it in one of Khaos’s books.”

“We will practice well that spell the next few days then…everyone will,” he called out loud for even the soldiers. “And a combine of dark and Heartian magic, amazing! This is the kind of thing you all should do here! Releasing everything you can do to grow our advantages. Ah, each day I see you three fighting here, I grow even more hopeful.” And the three agreed, with a breath of relief to keep their minds at bay with issues about the war.

“We shall continue our practices in three days’ time.”

“I don’t believe there’s an issue with practicing tomorrow either,” Ludwig told.

Egilhard raised an eye, “sir…isn’t it your birthday tomorrow?”

To be honest, with all the planning, dark power training, calculating, establishing and law enforcing of taking kingship the passing weeks, Ludwig had all forgotten about his own birthday, seen in the width of his eyes, the stilling of his being, his words froze as he tried to find an explanation that didn’t involve telling them that he forgot. The others saw it obvious enough though, smirking.

“I believe I should give you a day to unwind and calm yourself from all the turmoil of war planning, to celebrate a day as the one of your birth. So then, till next time,” Egilhard smiled, making his way to leave, along with several soldiers that followed him, ready for their own training regimen.

Usually, when it was a royal’s birthday, especially a king’s, a new one at that, it was celebrated in the usual lavish ball, but Ludwig had denied it this time, instead just asking for a dinner to spend with his family and some time to relax without any kind of imposing duty. As promised, no rushing servants for the job of the day, no scheduled harsh training, no war planning, no signing, no law abiding, just no one coming to him to break a calm that he had long missed since turning king. He had forgotten the last time he had woken this late in the morning. This time he could enjoy just gazing and cuddling with his husband, not even words to interrupt the serenity.

“I want to give you your present now,” Feliciano gleamed, raising in excitement.

“You got me something?” Ludwig was honestly surprised.

“Mhm!” Feliciano stood from the bed and headed over to one of the many drawers in their wardrobe, an area that had been protected by Pookie for a while now, who would hiss and growl every time Ludwig tried to reach for it.

“Good job,” Feliciano congratulated him, picking up a wrapped package, cuddling Pookie before he took his spot in the bed again, handing over the gift, wanting Ludwig to immediately open.

Too slow in Feliciano’s opinion did Ludwig rip the red packaging with a golden bow, until he was presented with a book, a richly decorated one of trees and birds, probably the most beautiful book cover Ludwig had seen in his life. He stared in utter aw at its design before he read the tittle. “All the Adventures of Dietrich and Irmhild…all of them, this actually has all of them,” Ludwig gazed upward to Feliciano curiously, but still with a shine in his eyes that weakened him to childish wonder.

“Yep! All the stories collected from all over the provinces of the Hearts Kingdom. It even has versions from the Japanese province,” Feliciano glowed proudly.

“How…did you find this?”

“It took asking a bunch of Vikings,” Feliciano laughed. “I was looking for a copy for some time now and read that there was a complete collection somewhere in the Norwegian Province. I contacted Lukas and he managed to find it. In return, I paid him a trip to visit his brother in the Spades Kingdom.”

Ludwig already held the item dear, flipping through to the pages to see it golden, well intact, nothing to prove of age or mold. The stories were divided in their province of coming, with art and borders that brought more enchantment in Ludwig’s eyes.

“This is…this is…amazing, perfect, beautiful…thank you!” He was truly taken, not expecting such a touching and rare gift already so early in the morning of his twentieth birthday. He couldn’t keep his eyes off it, tempted to already begin its reading.

“Do you still like them as much as we used to when we were kids?”

“To be honest, not as much, after all, so much time has passed and I grew other interests, but the stories are still dear to me and I was already thinking of re-reading some, just…never had the time or chance.”

Feliciano cuddled closer, his arms well wrapped around him as they belonged. “Well, you have most of the day, and you can read me a story every night before going to sleep,” he fluttered beautifully, Ludwig chuckling and bringing him more into his arms, his eyes detaching from the book for once to stare into his.

“I’ll be glad to.”

And Feliciano kissed him in thanks and expectation.

Ludwig was in the book the entire day, hours in one of the reading rooms, Feliciano in his own book as well, holding to each other’s hand as they lost themselves in the stories the pages presented, relaxed and like time was now truly theirs.

Around the midafternoon, Ludwig and Feliciano joined the cooks in making a cake, a pink one with fruits and marshmallows that towered high. For their dinner, the dessert was imposing from its sitting in the table, none really eating all the food as they wanted an instant piece. There was enough for the whole castle to eat. Ludwig and Feliciano had enjoyed many pieces, had even brought along with them to their room to enjoy as Ludwig read.

“…they had saved the couple from the deep waters, not minding at all entangling in its current and soaking their traveling clothes,” Ludwig read, resting on the floor, leaning his head to the bed, on either side of him Feliciano’s naked legs as he instead took seating on the bed, taking constant bites of the cake pieces they had brought.

It was like Feliciano was keeping him caged to keep on reading the story and Ludwig did not mind, one arm wrapped around one leg, caressing sweetly. “They had lost time of the day to continue their traveling to Tokyo and so had found settling in an abandoned church along the way. They covered what they could to keep it warm, making a dazzling fire and hanging their clothes to dry from there. The sounds of the night worked well like lullabies, the air enchanting, beautiful, making their gazes between one another heated and wanting…” Ludwig suddenly halted, reading that part again, getting some wrong connotations from what was supposed to be a children’s tale. Thinking perhaps just him jumping to conclusions, he continued.

“…their want for each other could not be held for much longer. They knew they had to act, especially in such a beautiful night, with just the air, just the romance they could succumb to, all their private wishes for once to be released the closer they came, the more their hands looked for more of their skin.” Yes…this was happening. As he rummaged through the next pages of this particular story, Ludwig realized that what followed was a detailed telling of the two main characters’ love making.

“Um…”

“Why did you stop?” Feliciano wondered, not at all perturbed, enjoying still from his cake. Ludwig wondered if he had even heard.

“Feliciano this is…uh…” how could he even word it?

“Come on, Ludwig, it’s nothing we haven’t heard or read ourselves.”

“But these are…childhood heroes…having sex.”

And Feliciano still shrugged. “These are from the Italian tales that were meant for adults. I had heard about it, just never actually…read it to truly see.”

“You really…don’t mind?”

“All natural thigs, Ludwig. Go on, I find parts like these to be beautiful and they’ll be lovely in your voice.”

Ludwig blushed, only getting more shaking.

“Don’t worry.” Feliciano leaned and placed a kiss on his head. “It’s just us. Think of it as part as any other story you’ve read till now.” He smiled in that accepting way that had Ludwig sighing and agreeing, making himself as comfortable between him as he had been for the night.

“…they kissed with that fire blazing behind them, its fuel heating more of their kiss, of the daringness to continue threading free skin.”

Feliciano hummed, loving indeed how the words coming from Ludwig’s mouth made him feel just as heated.

“Dietrich had for so long loved Irmhild’s legs, and what an honor it was to finally have them to his holding however he pleased, threading and taking to his wants.” It was in that exact moment that Ludwig took strong notice of the very pair of legs he found attracting himself, covering well both his sides of vision, now colored and glowing beautifully under the dim lighting of the room.

“He continued forward until he reached his center, drinking his glory, his shouts bringing heavenly glow into the church, more blessing than whatever ritual had long ago taken place.” Ludwig began a soft thread and scratch, his words and tone working an enchantment that had Feliciano slightly moaning. Ludwig smiled as he noticed what his words were doing, taking more embrace of those legs, letting his face lean and fall on them.

“He was above him, taking well the delicacy that laid under him, wanting to his ruling, for no one to dare to take from him and-” Ludwig had been persuaded by the color of Feliciano’s skin and the images in his head enough to fall to the temptation of a kiss. Feliciano hummed and swayed to the kisses placed, Ludwig letting the book close and fall to the ground uncaring. He turned to face both those legs in their entirety, kissing, licking all over them until he dared begin a soft thread up. He took the inner fullness and softness of his thighs, slightly biting, salivating it all in his owning, hands caressing their own way up, until they teased at the hem of his underwear, fingers escaping to take better hold of his backside, as velvet as his legs, pushing him more into his mouth, until he could kiss all his hips.

Feliciano moved wherever was necessary to give him more access, even letting those fingers begin the removal of the garment, kissing behind in its thread down his leg until it was off and he could focus back on his center, which he readily began to take into his mouth. It was surprising how daring he sucked and licked, like an experienced art, that familiar nervousness forgotten to pleasure his lover how he knew and could. To Feliciano, Ludwig’s mouth was already above the reach of great pleasure, his loud moans now decorating the room, letting himself fall to the bed slow, sometimes arching when Ludwig sucked just the right spot.

His mouth on his member was not enough, Ludwig wanted the taste of his stomach and sides, which he began to take, leaving an occasional bite that increased the strength of Feliciano’s shouts. How he loved it, only making him bite harder, hands now caressing at his back, while Feliciano let his own hand traverse his own, as well as his hair and strong arms.

Further up Feliciano’s chest Ludwig went, leaving the ground of the floor until his body joined Feliciano on the bed, on top of him as he decorated him whole in kisses. Feliciano could now wrap his arms around him, scratching, pulling, leaving his own kisses against Ludwig’s head as he instead left them on his collarbone and neck. Ludwig reached Feliciano’s mouth, a kiss heated and passionate that had them writhing across the sheets, always asking for more, driving themselves madden for each other, only a need for a breath enough to dispatch them, into a lock of eyes that kept them frozen in that moment.

Their want was clear, the moment of initiation there and in that silence it was decided, more assurance in the way Feliciano threaded his fingers gently across Ludwig’s face.

“Do we…tonight?” Ludwig still wanted to question aloud.

“Yes…” Feliciano accepted so blissfully already.

“Are…are you sure? Are…you ready?” Ludwig was ever as nervous, but his want was stronger tonight.

“Definitely.”

Ludwig could tell in the utter epitome of dream he represented, taking his face yet again to land him back on their kiss, on wild hands threading the necessary to heighten, to slowly remove articles to reveal more of their skin to small fires that glowed in the room.

Finally, there was a moment that their naked bodies laid against each other, an exhilarating enough that warmed them, painting them red and giving shivers of delight. Ludwig managed so Feliciano could have his head rested by their pillows, checking constantly they were both comfortable in the bed, his eyes and hands getting distracted and placing them once again to grab, to feel and soothe against that amazing skin that continued Feliciano’s hums. Their groins rubbed deliciously together, that cradle of their hips electrifying, having them already grabbing to the sheets tightly as if dear life was hidden in their silk. But Ludwig wanted that depth, and Feliciano wanted him entirely inside him, needy and humming that request, words lost in the foggy haze of their passion. Ludwig could understand it though, letting one hand start a soft thread from his feet, down his legs, to his thighs, his ass, and finally his entrance, testing a single finger, a widening and wetting spell under his breath as he inserted, spinning softly, creating that needed space as well as louder moans and mewls from Feliciano’s mouth. Delightful they were, having Ludwig smirking, testing to do so faster, harder, earning the roll of eyes, arch and screams that he wanted. He dared a second finger, trying the third, until he knew Feliciano was ready to take his own erection, yet he halted, he stared, to that last bits of virginal essence, shown more physically in the promise necklace that still Feliciano wore, the only item on his naked chest.

Despite how dark the room was, Feliciano shone still as reddish, orange and even rose as a sun, truly a beauty, a majesty worthy of being Queen and an Ace, and Ludwig felt so small, so human, but he was to dare at heaven, take it and enjoy from it as if he belonged to be a god as well. Feliciano breathed out, air in heat that tainted him in more colors of love and passion. Ludwig could not remove his eyes as one hand traversed through the bedside table, scourging until he found a familiar red collar.

He remembered how Gilbert had given it to him shortly before they had left on the trip around the four kingdoms, to use if ever this very moment occurred. Ludwig to this day was surprised that it had survived all the countless of things that happened, to be able to wrap around perfect to that delectable neck, one that Ludwig reached to kiss as he angled his hips, tip where it should, body ready, hands gentle and kisses loving. They both enjoyed those kisses, not minding its lengths, its distractions for what was meant to happen next.

“Is it all right?” Ludwig was ever cautious.

“Mhm,” Feliciano nodded, with a slight tremble, one that didn’t make Ludwig so sure.

“Feliciano, are you really-”

“Yes, please, I am,” he was able to convince still, a devotion Ludwig could see clearly in his eyes, that raised his hips, took Feliciano’s hand tightly, laying them as comfortably as he could upon the bed.

“I-I’m going to, okay…”

Feliciano nodded once again and afterwards Ludwig began a smoothing push, both admitting soft, different, but the deeper Ludwig went, Feliciano’s soothing expression grimaced and groaned, away from singing moans. The immense pleasure that started surrounding Ludwig wasn’t worth seeing Feliciano like this. He was ready to depart, but Feliciano raised his hand and kept a strong hold on his shoulders, potent enough to even have his nails piercing the skin there, slowly raising his legs to wrap them around Ludwig.

“Do-don’t worry…please continue,” Feliciano wanted to push on. He kept telling himself that he was ready, that a little pain was not going to ruin it. He could take it.

Ever so careful and worried, Ludwig pushed on slow, hating how Feliciano proceeded to cringe, but he was following the demands of the pushes Feliciano managed with his legs, until Ludwig knew for sure that he was buried deliciously and fully inside him.

It was glorious, like truly engulfed in unimaginable heights, but through that cloudy haze of pleasure he could still see Feliciano’s pain, having to pull himself from this heaven, away from thrusting on like instinct and his want called for, but love and care for Feliciano showed stronger as he lay still, breathing heavily above him, gazing between one another as they let themselves be adjusted and discover. Oh, this was enough, this was fulfilling, amazing, Ludwig wrapping well around him, intermingling breaths and settling with that welcoming of their sex.

“Are…are you all right?” Ludwig managed to word somehow.

Feliciano could only nod, as the piercing passed, as ecstasy began to make its entrance, as light came, as Feliciano’s small groans turned into melodic moans.

“It-it’s, wonderful,” Feliciano breathed out in dream as it slowly turned into the bliss so many had spoken about. Oh, it was so much more than words, or tales, or even pictures. It was an union unlike any, as they said, becoming their one, their power, released in this air of grandeur pleasure.

“You…you can move now,” Feliciano sounded almost hypnotized.

“Are you…really-”

“Yes, I am, just please…” his legs tightened around him, bringing his hands to his back, caress as sweetly, a wonderful touch to add to their present union. “Let’s give in.”

The content, the adoration in his eyes and even the way his body relaxed to the pleasure was just enough for Ludwig, who began to pull, then, in a wonderful friction, in, his first thrust announced in a loud moan.

“More…” Feliciano asked, expecting the strengthening and speed of that fulfill. But Ludwig remained cautious, and despite the amazement and the continuing increase of dreaming haze in his mind, he began slow, with sweet caresses, kisses against Feliciano’s neck that assured him more that Feliciano’s moans were now of indeed deep pleasure.

As the assurance grew, he confided to give in to speed, to take more of those depths, relishing on the skin surrounding him, joining Feliciano in decorating the room in their sounds.

“More…” Feliciano begged more loudly, and this time, oh truly this time, did Ludwig let himself give fully in, harsh, with speed, force, all sparks of lighting and beautiful storms in their bed. It shook, it bounced with their force, all red, all shouts, their union ruling and giving more sparks of love to continue them in those thrusts, in wraps of arms, kisses, strong, wanting to keep that bliss, their heaven. Ludwig quickly learned to use well the strength presented in his body, it aiding to find a spot that had Feliciano losing sense of all the tangible around him.

Only but Ludwig, oh only Ludwig, taking in his all to something that was turning to his mightiest need. They repeated words of love, of makings of strength and speed, until that wanted forever had to reach a peak that they had to accept if even unwanted.

It exploded, it tainted magnificence, they fell harshly but ever so comfortable in their arms, in that comfort, Feliciano still keeping his legs strong around Ludwig’s waist, and Ludwig kept himself inside him, still relishing by knowing well that he was in his queen’s depths, taken for him, all for him, only for him, Ludwig repeating that claim in unintelligible words, kisses and even bites of showcase.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” was their mantra, kisses continuing until exhaustion reached them, until they desired sleep, although wanting to remain in the sweat of what was their deepest passion, together, wraps well around them. Part of Ludwig wanted to hope he could keep himself inside him for all the night, to always keep them unified, hoping for new pleasures to easily pick up and start again. Comfort had won though, content in the naked press of their skin, their easy breaths as they settled into sleep, well into their crooks as continuation of their love making. Ecstasy it was even with eyes closed, in dreams.

Unnoticed went the change of Feliciano’s promise necklace, now red with a beautiful white floral design, uniting in the center to the usual heart of the kingdom.

The promise had been fulfilled, kissed then by the sudden entering of a single red rose petal.

#gerita #Feliciano and the King of Hearts #fatkoh #f&tkoh #gerita fanfiction #gerita fanfic #gerita fic

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thatfairyfangirl · 5 years ago

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True Colors Chapter 30

Finding Mike was the easy part...interrogating him however, that was another monster entirely. Eventually the task was left to Vision and Wanda, the two who seemed to be unaffected by his powers. You watched via monitor a safe distance away, arms crossed, stern disbelief painted across your face, streaks of red and blue dancing through your hair as he broke your heart and tore your childhood memories to shreds of playtime into something twisted with every word.

“Why? Why would you hand your best friend over to people who want her dead?” Vision demanded. Wanda could feel him knocking around the back of her mind, trying to effect her thoughts...a trick she knew all too well.

Mike sat in the middle of a blank room, hands chained to a table, but in a way he'd be comfortable. He leaned forward, looking up to the camera, sure you were watching. “Because she's not my friend.” Bucky came up behind you wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “You see dad wasn't exactly what you would call faithful.” He continued. You knew full well that he was referring to your dad, he was the kind of guy that all your friends called him that. “And neither was my mom… He never even acknowledged he had a son, letting some overly pius bigoted asshol raise me to hate what I am while you,” you jumped a bit as he slammed his hands against the table. “You got the love and support. You were handed everything while I was beaten for being me.” Bucky's grip on you tightened as all the color washed out of you... You had a brother?!

“Where are they?” Wanda asked in a cold calculating voice, wanting this to be over.

“Oh Germany, Washington-” he panned up to the camera once more, “Philadelphia…anywhere really”

“We have to go.” You snapped as you pulled from Bucky's arms. “Friday patch me into Cap.” You moved briskly as you spoke. “Schmidt is in Germany.” You burst into Bucky's room as he followed slowly behind, still somewhat in the mend. “And they have eyes on my mom.”

“Ok, you two go take care of your family. We'll contact you if we need you.”

~~~~

The night sped past as you made the drive home go as fast as possible. You hated that your small suburb offered no decent place to land a quintet. Driving was your only option to get there. Normally you loved the drive, you loved the colors of the leaves and singing along to the radio...not this time. This time the car was silent as you prayed to anyone listening that you weren't making the drive to find a couple of corpses. It was nearly 4:30am when you finally pulled into the driveway.

Leaving your things by the door you rushed up the stairs to first your mother's room then your Nana, both sleeping peacefully. You let out a sigh of relief as you pushed your fingers through your hair, the color finally returning to its usual vibrancy as you calmed down a bit. You were there now, they were safe. “Moms going to be waking up in about an hour for work. We may as well stay up until then.” You could barely finish the statement before a yawn kept onto your lips.

“You go ahead and get a nap Doll. I'll stay up.” All this talk of hydra had been getting to him, you could see the fear of sleep in his eyes. With a smile you shook your head, reaching up to kiss his cheek Before moving across the kitchen to start a pot of coffee… after the news you had just gotten you weren't exactly ready to sleep in the idea that your childhood friend was actually your half brother and trying to kill you.

Mugs in hand you sat at the kitchen table, letting the steam wash over your face as the clock on the wall slowly ticked away at the time. “Why are they even doing this to me?” You finally asked, breaking the silence. “I could see the watchdogs or the friends of humanity targeting me...but HYDRA?”

“It's because of me. To get you out of the way or to use you as leverage...but it all boils down to you're in danger because of me.” He looked down into his coffee as he spoke letting his hair fall over his eyes, ashamed of what he was putting you through.

“No...I mean yes I'm sure that has something to do with it...but Mike...that was a long game. He had my entire trust he could have killed me or snatched me at least a dozen times...And now he's my brother?”

“How are you with that?” He asked as he raised his head a bit, the blue of his eyes peeking out from behind his dark hair. You wished that was a question you could answer as your face became void of expression and your head shook a bit.

“I remember dad as this amazing guy...and now... Mike had been in this house more times than I care to count...play dates, birthdays...he never once even acknowledged that he could be his son...how messed up is that?”

Bucky nodded in agreement. “You think there is any truth to it?”

“I don't know...maybe...I mean, the mutant gene is passed on by the father, even if he didn't show any mutations...and the chances of two mutants popping up in the same small town with powers tied to their emotions AND possessing natural talents for the performing arts…”

“I think you should talk to your mom about it before you let what he said get to you Doll.” You nodded agreeing with him before glancing up to the clock on the wall, hearing the echo of your mom's alarm clock going off upstairs.

Your mother shuffled down the stairs, her hair a tangled mess, eyes barely open as she rounded the corner into the kitchen. Bucky sat quietly looking up to her, waiting for some kind of reaction of both of you being there but she seemed to look right past both of you as she made a beeline for the coffee pot. “Coffee’s fresh.” You said with a forced smile. She was just awake enough to nod but still somewhere in that dream state that she didn't find anything off about being told that.

With her first sip she turned around leaning against the counter. The rising sun was beginning to peek through the kitchen window, shining a bright beam across Bucky's face, illuminating his eyes.

Your mother's eyes caught the image and her heart stopped. “Ohmygod” she exclaimed with a gasp. The mug shattered against the tile floor as she grasped at her chest reminding her heart to beat and her lungs to breath.

“Mom! Calm down it's just us.” You tried hard not to laugh as you got up to fetch the broom and dust pan from the hall closet.

“I see that. What are you doing here? Outside of scaring me half to death.” You explained to her the situation and that you felt safer with her and your grandmother being protected. “Then I'm calling off and going back to bed.” Suddenly Bucky could see where your love of sleep came from.

“Sorry I scared you Mrs (y/l/n)” Bucky offered almost meekly as your mom bent down to help you pick up the parts of the broken ceramic. The growing light in the room caught the stone of your ring, causing the colors of it to sparkle and dance.

“A ring like that you better start calling me Mom Sergeant Barnes.”

“Only if you call me Bucky.”

“Deal.” She said with a smile as she shooed you away from the mess, taking the broom and dust pan to do it herself. “You kids go to bed I'll take care of this.”

You nodded with a smile before giving her a quick kiss to the cheek and a soft “love you mom” before you both began up the stairs. You were astonished to see new additions to the wall on your way up, framed copies of your album and the Dazzler album you were part of next to a poster of your musical. You stood there for a moment gazing into the image of you leaning against Mike dressed as Joseph in his amazing colored coat. “Oh mom...what are the chances of Mike being my brother?” You could hear the clinking of the mug bits as she dropped them all over again.

There was a brief silence as she added two and two together in her head. She knew full well your father had a tendency to stray when he was alive...And she knew his mother was one of the girls. “Possible… I never had the heart to tell you that your father had a real problem with running around.”

#marvel #marvel x reader #Avengers #avengers x reader #bucky #Bucky Barnes #bucky x reader #Winter Soldier #winter soldier x reader

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telltheworld-phff · 6 years ago

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Chapter 46, part I: My best friend’s wedding

Carol did have to thank Princess Sofia for the little push she had given her a couple weeks ago. She decided to be bold and to give Harry the chance he’s been patiently waiting for. She was more loving towards him, not that she wasn’t before, but she was loving in a way enough to show him, because she was still afraid of speaking about it, that they did go to a next level.

When they thought luck was finally getting on their side, their schedule became so packed and full that they barely had the chance to see each other. Harry had to go with his grandmother to a long visit up north, Carol’s work was going amazingly and she was hosting workshops and training programs. She started easy, with all the BBC employees in London. She had to adjust her hours because of the amount of shifts they had and it came out as a huge success. They were starting to create a magazine and everyone was contributing with ideas and photographs and contact information to some people they wanted to interview. That’s why her boss said they should expand to other countries.

And that’s when she thought she’d go mad.

And that’s when her already full schedule became even fuller.

Because she had barely spent any time at home.

Because she was receiving lots of angry texts from her sister, because she had missed all the fittings to her dress.

Because she had promised her mom, she’d be in Brazil for at least two weeks to help her with the last errands for the wedding.

She was frustrated because obviously she had too much on her plate, and that’s when she opened her e-mail and dreaded opening the message that said “Planned Trips”. With a sigh, she opened it and saw all those places she’d be able to visit, but at the same time she just wanted her home. She just wanted an opportunity to breathe.

Her schedule for the next two months was something like this:

April

2-6 Copenhagen, Denmark

10-12 Cologne, Germany

25-27 Paris, France

May

4-9 Warsaw, Poland

14-19 Stockholm, Sweden

23-27 Johannesburg, South Africa

It’s not like she didn’t like traveling (she still hadn’t left London to go anywhere), or that she didn’t like her job and to be traveling with something she had created. It was just...

It all was happening so fast, and even though she was spending a lot of time in her office, sometimes she still pinched herself to see if it wasn’t a dream that she was about to wake up from.

She loved everything that had happened in her life.

What she wasn’t comfortable with was the pace things were happening.

Just when she had settled down to the idea of living abroad, dating and prince, getting a master degree and finally totally catch up with her workplace and tasks, people started to add things to her ever growing piles of things she had to give attention to.

She closed the e-mail and took a breath. Freak out right now wouldn’t help her go anywhere.

She closed her eyes for a few seconds when a colleague knocked on her door and asked if she was ready to the conference call.

She wasn’t. But she lied and went anyway.

She had just arrived in London from Germany, letf her suitcase at home and went for something to dinner.

“Hey babe.” she said when he picked up his phone. She was at a Sainsbury’s buying her dinner. “How are you?”

He smiled when he heard the endearment.

“I’m better now. And you?”

“Tired. Bit stressed.” she said while getting a bottle of orange juice. “But tomorrow I’m working from home, so I have time to pack. I can’t believe the wedding is next Saturday.” she said after paying and walking back to her place. “My mom must be so disappointed because I couldn’t get there earlier.”

“I know! Seems like it was yesterday.” he said leaving the car in front of his cottage. He too was working all day at St. James. “And I already told you, Carol. Your mom understands that you didn’t go earlier because of your job. Your very good paying job.”

“It seems that you want to date me for my money, Harry. Do you? Do you want to date me because of my money?”

“You know I want to date you besides your money… Already told you that.”

They both laughed and she took a moment to appreciate his laugh.

“Is your dress ready?” This had become an inside joke because he knew she hadn’t been to any fittings.

“It is. But I don’t know if it’ll fit… might’ve lost a few pounds these days. Let’s not mention that to Hailey. She’s been complaining about the fact that my mom lives in another country and all the fittings went smoothly. I live in the same city and was always busy and never found time to go to a single one...” Carol laughed at that while walking towards her flat.

“Oh boy...” Harry said loosening his tie. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

“Yeah… I mean. I’m not the bride. No one will be looking at me.”

“I will...” he answered.

“Well… you’re my date. You’re obliged to.” they both laughed while she opened her flat’s door.

“I miss you.” Harry said and she could actually feel how much he meant it.

“Me too...” she answered biting her lip.

“Can’t wait for this trip. Your work is stealing you way too much from me.” he said and actually pouted at that.

She laughed because she knew he was pouting. But she didn’t comment on his statement, just like he knew she wouldn’t.

“So I heard you and Sofia have been texting each other.” Harry said after a comfortable silence between them.

“We are!” Carol sounded excited. “She’s such a sweet person, and she’s giving me some advice. We are going to have lunch together when I’m in Stockholm next month.”

“I knew you’d like her. Carl Philip scored big when he married her.” Harry went to the kitchen to heat something for him to eat. “She’s someone you can trust. You know, in my circle you have to be careful with what you say or do. It’s sad that we can’t just make a friend at a park or bar, that we have to constantly watch our behavior. So I think it’s important for you to have someone you can trust on. She’ll help you a lot.”

“He did. Didn’t he?” Carol smiled. “But it’s weird that I’m developing a friendship with a princess.”

“You’re developing a relationship with a prince… Thought you’d be used by now.” Harry said and Carol went silent once again. “She’s the first of many, though.” They both laughed at that.

“Who knows?”.

She had checked her e-mail account twice while waiting to board the plane. She was still working, even though she had promised herself she wouldn’t. The plan was: get up early, go for a stroll at the park, go back home to pack and start working by 9. Then, she’d take her full lunch hour so she could get a manicure and then go back and work until 4:30. Then, it was vacation time for she had taken a few days off, on holidays. But obviously she woke up early and decided to check her e-mail. What was going to be just checking became full working and when she realized it was already mid-afternoon and she hadn’t done anything.

She answered to the last e-mail and started leisurely browsing.That’s when she saw the news:

“The Marshal of the Realm is delighted to announce that HRH Crown Princess Victoria gave birth to a son on April 10, 2018 at 5:48pm.

Both mother and child are in good health.”

She couldn’t help but be thrilled. Her Royal watching-heart was happy for the family and Swedish christenings were the most fun ones to watch.

She sent a text to Sofia, congratulating on her newborn nephew.

She felt her phone vibrating, but they were calling all passengers to board, so she didn’t see who was texting until she had found her seat. She had got two messages.

H: Safe trip, babe. See you in Brazil.

S: Thank you, Carol. He’s so cute. Also… a little secret: his name is Arthur. Xoxo

She took her time to answer to both of them, and then texted her mom saying she was on her way home.

The flight was uneventful but long and tiring. She arrived at Sao Paulo and had a connection to the other flight.

Her mom had decided to get married in Fernando de Noronha, one of Brazil’s postcard and one of the most wonderful places on earth. But since it was an island and also a natural reserve, getting there was difficult and even bureaucratic.

When she finally arrived in Noronha, several hours later, her mom and Flavio were waiting for her.

She received the most calming and comforting hug from her mom. That lasted forever and they both teared up.

In Portuguese there’s a word that means “I miss you”, and it’s called “Saudade”. In that moment both mother and daughter, that had never been this long apart were witnessing and feeling that saudade was painful and bittersweet.

After the compliments, they boarded the rental car and went to the hotel.

Carol was so tired and jet-lagged that she only wanted a shower and a bed to nap. She didn’t even wanted to go sightseeing just now. She needed rest and probably food. Brazilian food.

After she had her check-in and went to her bedroom, she found a giant bouquet of pink roses on her bed. She knew who had sent that before she got the card. And even in her state, she appreciated his gesture.

“When you get this bouquet, it’ll mean that we are only a couple hours apart. Hang in there, my love. I am on my way. -H.”

She smiled and smelled the flowers. She asked the reception for a vase and put them on water.

She took a shower and tried to wait for him awake. But her tiredness took the best of her and she fell asleep.

When Harry arrived at the hotel, he first asked for Maria and Flavio. He wanted to congratulate them and thank them for the invitation he didn’t think he’d get.

The hotel manager that was waiting for him on the reception told they were at the beach. And for him to get there he would have to simple walk towards the end of the lobby. Harry was impressed by the beauty of this north eastern Brazilian island.

He soon found Maria that just forgot he was a prince and embraced him like he was his son. She asked him a few things she had learned. She was fussing over him like a caring a protective mother and he had forgotten how this felt like.

Flavio also greeted him like part of the family and he even spotted Hailey on a jet-ski, playing with some unknown person.

“Where is she?” he asked as soon it was polite enough to change the subject.

“She’s taking a nap.” Flavio answered.

“I think you could also enjoy a nap.” Maria said. “Room 202.” she blinked at him.

He politely excused himself and went to the room. He asked his P.O’s to just leave him be for a couple of hours. The island was secure, the hotel was only booked with wedding guests and to be honest he didn’t give a damn about being spotted.

He only wanted to be with her.

With the woman that had turned his world upside town with just a smile.

The woman that would soon be, officially, his girlfriend.

He knocked on the door and no one answered. He tried to see if it was locked. It wasn’t.

As quietly as he could, he entered the bedroom and saw her sleeping peacefully on the bed.

He couldn’t help but smile.

He took of his shoes and shirt and laid beside her on the bed. He caressed her face and she smiled. He gently pulled her body towards his and his heart felt content when he noticed that even sleeping, her body recognized his. Because she snuggled on him without even noticing.

In that moment Harry knew for sure that he had made something right along the way. That the wait was worth it. Because Carol had said, without saying a single word, that she was his. In the most sincere way.

IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE Y’ALL!!!!

I know it’s a short chapter and that you deserve more. I know. But I thought it was best for me to post this, and then work on the rest of it than to post it all God knows when.

Happy Holidays and thank you so much for reading my story and for sticking with me during the laptop break. It still isn’t fixed, but let’s not focus on it. Shall we?

The next chapter will probably come on the new year, but I’ll do my best to post it sooner.

As always, let me know your thoughts on this chapter and suggestions to the other ones.

#When you tell the world you're mine #Chapter: 46 #Prince Harry #Prince Harry Fanfic #Royal Family #Royal Fandom #PHFF #Fanfic #Fanction #Royal Fanfic #royal fanfictio #prince harry fanfiction

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