#i am done being quiet

[shinyperfectiongentlemen]

I wasn't born to be ruled by stupid men.

I wasn't born for others to decide how I should live.

I wasn't born for them to make choices over my own body.

I wasn't born to die so young.

I WAS BORN TO BE ALIVE.

I WAS BORN TO FIGHT.

I WAS BORN TO SURVIVE.

NO ONE, ESPECIALLY NO MAN, WILL TELL ME WHAT TO BE AND HOW TO BEHAVE.

I MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS.

I AM MY OWN PERSON.

I AM ALIVE.

[bread-wizards]

I actually think Dorian and Orym should fight more.

Remember when their slowly building tension over and entire episode (full of passive aggressive remarks and blame throwing) led to threats? And how after, Orym thanked Dorian for handing over the crown sadly because he knew Dorian would be mad at him? And Dorian couldn't even look at him because he was legitimately hurt, thinking Orym was disappointed in him for doing what he thought was right? That was peak.

The fact they went from that to their current closeness and trust is the best part of their entire dynamic. Their relationship was hard fought and still will be. They will fight for it because they respect and care for one another deeply, and their disagreements don't change that, only improve it.

[arom-antix]

I bring to thee some quick late night Viktuuri sketches because I think we could all use some fluff

[hidingoutbackstage]

This one moment drives me absolutely insane

[itspileofgoodthings]

ALSO I am learning how to teach very introverted students, something my natural skillset as a teacher does not help me with.

[sketchy-scribs-n-doods]

i'm a little sad at how sparse steddyhands and stizzy art and writing is on here now after the finale (thankfully, i am still digging through the couple thousand fics up on ao3 so i'm not totally bereft)

because during the airing of the season there was new stuff in the tags every day, sometimes even every few hours, but i think the finale really punched all of us in the face

there's lots of good stuff from before s2 to go digging through of course, and ao3 and twitter still have some new art and fic and memes if you go looking for it, but the difference from before and now seems a bit stark

don't misunderstand me, this isn't me being defeatist, just being a bit melancholy (and mad at the s2 finale tbh lol) about it. shout out to the regulars i see in the tags still making stuff and posting jokes, ya'll are doing the most and i wish you all the passion and motivation and time to create in the world <3

[trekkele]

something something something the Waynes refusing to allow the Kanes to give Martha a jewish burial because it would “look bad” if she wasnt buried in the Wayne Crypt or whatever.

Something something something about Thomas and Martha Wayne being the only ones buried on the manor grounds after Bruce returns from his world tour.

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

Ok I'm done putting up with this and I'm done asking anonymously. Please tag your posts about the conflict between Israel and Palestine. All of them. Next time I see an unfiltered post I'm asking in DMs so hopefully people will actually see it and respond and I don't have to look at their unfiltered blog while I wait. And if that doesn't work I'm unfollowing no matter how long we've been mutuals.

If you try to put words in my mouth or claim this post is taking any specific stance on the issue I will block you.

[defiledtomb]

I was wondering if you'd be willing to offer free content in the near future on Patreon/Tumblr. I know you've mentioned Tumblr is a bit overwhelming. And that's totally understandable. This isn't a critique or anything. I used to support every month but the few content updates are always posted for paid members. I was hoping (I'm sure i'm not the only one) To get some free updates here and there. I hope you're doing okay regardless. Have a good day.

I totally get where you're coming from, and I hope you know where I'm at too-- currently I'm working two jobs, searching for an apartment and getting through a separation that for all intents and purposes is just like a divorce with its own legal processes and emotional turmoil. In Sweden you don't have to get married to be in a legal relationship. Anyway, I am also just now getting back into ouro development and the Patreon has been for people who want to support me during this transition, it's completely voluntary! If not for Patreon, I would declare a hiatus, so I hope you understand that I update patreons as a thank you for their help. If I gave those updates to everyone, what would be the point? Besides that, I don't want to share my innermost feelings and my personal journey in public but keep it with those that are in the inner circle of my dev journey. But! I will resume public posting as soon as the new public demo is out! And answer asks and engage with the crowd once again, rest assured<3

[thevalleyoftriumph]

One final ask before I head to bed

How does second meeting chosen go?

I’ve a hc that second simply comes to visit after showdown, to make sure chosen is alright, I’m curious what everyone’s thoughts is on that

He’s on beasts “yeah alright I trust him” list, but beast trusts him in combat, what about regular day to day things? Just hanging out? Eating sandwiches? That’s gotta be different right?

And chosen and killer, do they like him? Are they envious of him? Does one like him more than the other?

How quickly do they realise that uh. Second doesn’t remember how showdown ended. And who realises first?

Idk idk there’s a lot that can happen and I’m curious of your hc’s for it. Going to bed now. Goodnight

HEHE GOODNIGHT ANON!!! thank you dearly for the Even More questions <33 i hope you have a very nice sleep

as usual, responses are under the cut ^_^

1: How does second meeting chosen go?

Oh man okay. So like, if we don't count the brief meeting before the final fight, and then the little bow interaction after, then the two would've officially met sometime later I'd say? Somewhere between Showdown and Wanted for sure, I'm a sucker for the hollowheads actually interacting lol.

I'd say it'd be a very big "hey wait a minute what the hell are you doing here" moment at first, before Chosen just sorta resigns himself to the fact that Second is probably going to just keep dropping by to check in every once and a while whether he likes it or not [and if he's secretly fine with it because it's an excuse to actually clean up the house and keep the kitchen stocked instead of wallowing in his room all day well then that's his business and no one needs to know that damn it]

I think out of the three, Killer is actually the most trusting, and actually pretty fond of Second! Chosen is close behind, but he's got a healthy dose of respect for the guy after seeing them in action so there's a bit of "man you could totally kick my ass if you felt like it. That's cool I think. Please don't do that actually." in there lol. For the most part they like Second after a while, and warm up to them.

You'd be right to assume that it's definitely different with Beast though! Beasts little "trusted people" list can be pretty solidly split between "ally in combat" trust and "genuine everyday trust" , and while that does slightly spread to the others [ie, Chosen can respect and appreciate Second, but was a bit hesitant at first thanks to Literally Everything] it's mostly seen in Beast. Honestly if it saw Second again outside of a battle it'd probably briefly think "oh shit is something happening do I need to like. Attack someone. What's going on why're they here" and it'd take some time to unlearn that association with them.

Despite all this, though - despite eventually warming up, Chosen is shockingly the most hesitant to actually start liking them to any degree. Killer does the fastest, mostly because they're probably the only extroverted person there to match Second's energy, and Beast is next up solely because of previous reason to trust them, but Chosen?

Sure, he knows Second is on his side. He knows they're doing this to be a decent person and to be nice. He knows they literally saved him and their friends. But despite logically knowing that Second is [mostly] harmless, he cannot stop the instinctive fear that comes with the whole "watched this guy murk his best friend/brother like it was NOTHING" thing. It's not major, in comparison to a lot of things. It's not even enough to prevent him from interacting with Second, especially not in polite company. But it IS enough for him to be on edge for a while.

Though again, after a bit of time passes he does end up putting a lot of his real genuine trust into Second. They are the first person the three think to go to for help, after all. That is, at the very least, one thing they agree on.

To add on; I think Killer likes Second for their creativity, Chosen likes Second for their kindness and eagerness to help others, and Beast likes Second for their strength and their loyalty to their friends [mostly because it relates to the need to protect those it cares about.]

2: How quickly do they realise that uh. Second doesn’t remember how showdown ended. And who realises first?

I'm gonna be so honest it's either Killer or Beast who put two-and-two together first. Killer because any time they bring it up to ask Literally Anything, Second just kinda politely nods along with this confused look and they know damn well Second's just playing along and has no idea what they're on about. Killer is pretty observant when it comes to other sticks and their feelings [probably the only emotionally aware alter there lol]. Beast because, well, surely someone that powerful would be displaying that power as much as they can, right? Be it as intimidation to ward off anyone wishing to do them or their loved ones harm, or maybe just as a casual brag, or even just for stupid everyday tasks. Anything to use the power given, anything to acknowledge it and the things they've done. To Beast, the only way it makes sense that they wouldn't is if they didn't know.

Chosen finds out literally the day of Wanted just like in source simply because I think it's a little funny lol. He's got his suspicions before that but he mostly just brushes it off as like.. trauma blocking the memory Mostly out like how his own memories do.

So like, while I don't know the FULL amount of time between Showdown and Wanted, let's just for the sake of discussion say it was about ehhh a year or two. Not saying I think it did but just for timeline purposes - feel free to stretch this out or compress it depending on the time You Personally think was between it.

With this in mind; if Chosen finds out during Wanted two years after Showdown, then Killer and Beast probably realize at first that somethin' ain't right with Second over the course of 8 or 9 months after Showdown, and ACTUALLY figure it out 2months after the 1st year passes [or 14 months after Showdown if that's easier for you to visualize]. Compress or stretch that timeline as you see fit bc timelines in AVA are a mess lol, but regardless; Chosen's a little slow on the realization here because it'd be funny.

This next half of the post isn't in response to any question and is just misc. rambling about anything that comes to mind about these guys interacting because you got me Thinking-

-but I just like the idea of Second meeting Killer and Beast and Knowing That That's Happening. LIKE IDK I feel like they'd end up getting along individually after a while. Second would probably be a little perplexed at first before just going No that makes sense carry on ^_^

I also like the idea of Beast, having since decided that Second is worth trusting Personally [which would take a hell of a long time considering the last time it trusted someone outside of battle it ended with Dark dead [presumably] somewhere and new issues regarding bugs/spiders.] had taken one look at Second, and one look at the CG, and went "no absolutely not you cannot go out fighting things as self taught fighters your stances are WRONG your punches are WEAK and you are NOT PROTECTING YOUR MIDDLE. Get INTO the sparring room I am TEACHING YOU PROPER TECHNIQUE" lol. Very aggressive signing and glaring. Chosen and Killer are in full support of this but for different reasons [Chosen just prefers the people he knows to be safe and able to protect themselves, Killer is silently cataloging as much as they can about the others' fighting styles]

Anyway I just think Beast is so used to itself knowing how to properly fight AND Dark knowing how that when it sees self taught fighters who are half its size and used to video game mechanics vs actual living experience, it just short circuits and briefly forgets that it's supposed to be scary and intimidating and instead is like Okay I gotta fix that they're gonna get themselves killed and that's gonna be REALLY upsetting for us. It's like when people joke that they were in the middle of a breakdown and then someone says something so baffling that they just. Stop crying. It is the FUNNIEST thing to me.

[kakusu-shipping]

Satiating myself for Captain Pikachu content with a Selfship Moodboard, because I need it <3

[skoulsons]

The last tale of Ghost just took me almost an hour to beat

[sydbarrettism]

🔥 pink floyd fanfiction

i have a lot of thoughts about pf fanfics so uhh sorry if this gets long and rant-y im just very opinionated #peaceandlove

idk if it's unpopular but a good chunk of the ones in ao3 are umm... not exactly the level of writing im used to compared to some my other fandoms. to put it nicely. (mainly talking about the slash fics) there are okay ones, but the best fic i read in ao3 was essentially a gen fic.. so... Yeah. anyway i've read a lot of good ones in livejournal but trying to navigate that site was like using a metal detector to find treasure and it's either i get a gold coin or some random piece of metal

also in the ao3 sphere i think that we need more fics about the guys being in messy unlabeled situationships rather than anything about them being loving boyfriends to each other (exceptions may apply in moderation). i don't think these guys have the emotional intelligence to say "i love you" to each other in a way that feels like they're in a normal romantic relationship do you get what i'm saying?

anyway that's all what i've thought of for now thank u for sending me this ask ���

[milo-is-rambling]

I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?

[ourceliumnetwork]

apparently we're not out of the woods on holiday trauma responses just yet - i'm hoping we're on the tail end of it but like. good lord.

[secondpersonpoetry]

hi! oh my goodness. i am SO sorry i didn’t say anything earlier. i did read everything a couple days ago, and i Have been chewing on it, rotating it in my mind, etc etc…..and the graphic has been my phone lockscreen since i first read it!!!!!

frankly i am obsessed and have also been a little frazzled this month lol. saw your post late because of the general whirlwind that is december and then couldn’t quite get my thoughts into sufficient words n got worried “oh no would it be weird to say something now…..” which is incredibly silly in retrospect, so sorry for that. 

i’m relatively new to hockey fandom and the Narratives don’t always quite click for me (yet, at least :)) because i don’t know all of the lore for a lot of the popular pairings haha, so it means a lot that you’ve taken time out of your day to break things down for me and share your own thoughts <3 tysm. again, super sorry for the delayed response. i’m very sorry if you felt as though you’d wasted your time or something along those lines :’) just wanted to let you know that i really appreciate you and the time it took you to get everything down and make the graphic!!!! and like i can’t overstate how much your tags both over here and on your other blog have helped me to Get It since the start of this season, so thank you.

but now the house is quiet, the in-laws are gone, and no new work stuff until january :) so i can finally get some stuff down. every point you brought up hits in it own way but gosh you are very incredibly right the mcstrome of it all…..that’s sort of the lens i’ve been listening to the song through since you mentioned it.

the golden boy and the “draft bust” and the ever present notion of “isn’t it all about old friends? like everything? all of it?”.  like idk looking back on a bestfriendship from when you were a teenager that was Super intense and the lines were blurred and maybe realizing (if you hadn’t had the words or the “guts” or awareness or wtv to put a name to it at that point in your life) that y’all were a smidge more than just friends. 

best friends forever until you just aren’t! growing up and growing apart. it’s just the way things go but it can and will ache for a damn long time! you think you’re over it until their birthday or the holidays roll around and you wonder in a distant sort of way who they’re spending it with. what you would’ve hypothetically gotten them as a present if you still spoke. what do they even like nowadays, anyway?

maybe having the friendship end subtly. going from playing and traveling together and living in one another’s pockets to 2,080 miles of distance? (i may have my timeline/details confused here so sorry in advance) texting as much as you can at first but he’s a phenom he’s mcjesus he’s the next in line he’s expected to win the cup with his new team and end the drought for Canada. and they have him now but he was yours first, wasn’t he? but it’s fine. because you’re busy too. you’re captaining the team now. you’re gonna get the memorial cup that he couldn’t. it’s fine. you’re fine. you don’t even have time to worry about it anyway. 

one conversation a week turns to one a month turns to once in a blue moon turns to stale words until it goes cold. these days you can’t quite seem to remember who ended things, but does it really matter all that much now?

or maybe it doesn’t end like that at all. maybe it ends in a flurry of angry words and digs in some or other of the endless hotel rooms you’ve shared together over the years. who knows!

and that’s not even getting into the rest of the 2015 draft class. or the ld19 of it all! ooh hoo hoo. you grew up with him but he’s not your waiting room. he grew up with you but he’ll grow “old” (end his career) with someone else. and isn’t that just something! 

i don’t think it’s totally them, but sort of the sentiment of “I hope you get everything you ever wanted and I hope I never hear a word about it.” I want one ticket off of your carousel!!!! merry christmas, please don’t call!!!!!!!

dylan being sent up and down and traded around until finally landing in washington, a place where he is clearly at home and LOVED for the guy and player he is!!!!!!!! watching a game and seeing all the strome jerseys in the crowd……..wagh.

all that said. some other songs that are mcstrome to me in various ways: hot & heavy by lucy dacus (lol kinda the whole song). before the world was big by girlpool (“i just miss how it felt standing next to you wearing matching [jerseys? sweaters?] before the world was big”). happiness by Taylor swift (“i guess it’s the price i pay for seven years in heaven”), cut your bangs by radiator hospital (maybe? possibly? unsure. i like the whole dog thing there). i’m so glad i feel this way about you by insignificant other (!!!!!). there are so many THEM lyrics in there……..waough.

anyway. other things off the top of my head: 2015 connor specifically saying something like “hey let’s wait a minute so we can see this” to stand by the stage when dylan was getting drafted after him. MAN. you reminded me of the fact that they couldn’t even make eye contact at the handshake line!!!!!!!!! they didn’t go to each other’s weddings!!!!!!!!!! (do you think once upon a time they ever thought they’d being each other’s best man?). just a couple months ago dylan liking the tweet of connor getting that goal during the playoffs!!!!!!!! makes you wonder if he texted him………..

lol this was all over the place and i was probably wrong on some things and there’s SO much more that someone else could say way more eloquently, but i digress. i dunno everything about them is so nuts to me!!!!! needless to say i will be incredibly sat for the game january 21 🙂‍↕️

thank you again for your time :) hope you have a good one and a happy rest of the holiday season! <3333333

what a lovely message to receive 🥰😭🥹 i had to break it up into chunks because i couldn't sit down to read all of it at once without just. bouncing right back up and shrieking. i am also at heart terribly shy so i understand the struggle but it is never too late to say something <3 you are always welcome here

first!!! i love sharing!! i think most of hockey tumblr loves to see people finding out the Lore for the first time and the wonderful thing about hockey is that. it keeps going on. so there's years and years and generations and generations and always something new to learn about. i've learned to just not be afraid to ask!!! between different teams and players i'm always discovering new narratives (learning about the sharks old man yaoi rn... cbj rarepairs...)

no... to my heart's despair... you have the timeline right. i think in the best most tragic sense there's a mcstrome narrative where it is truly that nothing went wrong. the love was there. we couldn't do enough to save it because we didn't see it slipping away. i didn't notice when you didn't call until you never did. i don't know you now but i still remember when i did, do you?

HE'S NOT YOUR WAITING ROOM?? passing out. i do see "i hope you get everything you ever wanted and i hope i never hear a word about it" as them because!! they didn't go to each other's weddings!!! i don't wish you harm but i'm not going to put myself through that!! i hope you're happy and i'm never going to look on purpose.

i love dylan strome so much and the best part is that they all love him so much too. he wore a cool vintage ovechkin jacket!! and got slapped in the face with a tortilla!! he loves to gently rag on the rookies!! it just takes some time, everything'll be just fine. you're only on the middle of the ride.

OKAY WHEN I READ THIS PART I SCREAMED BECAUSE I DO HAVE A MCSTROME PLAYLIST AND!!!! HOT & HEAVY BY LUCY DACUS IS IN FACT ON IT!!! SO IS CUT YOUR BANGS (BUT BY GIRLPOOL SO DOUBLE JINX)!!!! i have dorothea by taylor swift on there but i don't know happiness so i'll have to give all the other songs a listen. mostly i just shrieked because i was like NO YOU GOT THE VIBES EXACTLY

🧠〰️🧠 truly the mind meld happening here. the handshake line. the mutual wedding non-invitations. i won't block your number or your name on twitter i just hope i don't see it come up on screen!! i do think that we got confirmation the last time they played each other that dylan did text him to say congrats on a milestone but i would have to check the archives

p.s. i think you said it perfectly eloquently :) what matters is that you said it at all and i was delighted to read it 💕