#i am dispensationed from fasting so my answer will never be 'yes god wants you to starve'

[eesirachs]

what are your thoughts on fasting?

jesus fasts in the desert — does it bring us closer to god to share that with him?

jesus fasts from food, sometimes, relationships other times. but jesus also eats his way through the gospels. surrounds himself with love. some prophets restrict and others dig-in. sometimes god is all-body, other times he's never had a body at all. i am trying to tell you that what brings you closer to god is less a proscription than a rubric. and it's one that you know best. some bodies cannot and should not fast, some bodies find fullness in it. there is no scrupulosity or rigidity here, but instead, a wit(h)nessing of what feels holy

[sortasirius]

Dean Winchester be like:

I hate myself because it’s what my father taught me to do.  I hate myself because it’s a defense mechanism.  I use sarcasm to cover up the fact that I believe I am worthless.  I raised my brother into a good man, that’s the only good I’ve ever done.  I’ve saved some people, they don’t say thank you, but that’s okay.  I wish I could have been the man my father wanted me to be.  I break everything I touch.  All the people I love I end up killing or leaving me.  I am broken.  I don’t do romantic love, it’s asking for me to get my heart broken, more broken than it already is.  I sold my soul to a demon so I could save my brother, because he’s the best thing I ever did, the only good thing.  I’m afraid to go to Hell, but I pretend I’m not, because what’s the alternative? 

Hell proved that I was the person I always knew I was, a bad person, willing to torture to get out of pain.  I met an angel, he’s not like I thought.  He’s a soldier, like me, he’s taking orders from a father he can’t see.  He starts out as an ally, but he’s different than the others, they say he likes me.  He’s awkward, he stands too close to me sometimes.  I started the Apocalypse because I wasn’t strong enough.  My brother is going down the wrong path, and I don’t know how to stop it.  The angels tell me Lucifer has to rise, but the one that pulled me out of Hell disobeys to help me stop it.  I think I should consider him a friend.  Lucifer rises anyway. 

The angel is on the run from Heaven, he’s a good guy, I like him a lot, more than I think I should.  I don’t know what to do, if I say yes to Michael, we can save some people.  Maybe I’ll get to know peace, maybe my father will be proud of me then.  The angel and my brother are angry at me, but I’ve always been a coward, they just don’t know it.  But they know me best, I can’t say yes to Michael if it means disappointing them. 

My brother goes to the cage with Lucifer and Michael, the angel disappears, and I’m left to pick up the pieces, living a life I feel like I stole from somebody else.  I always sleep with a gun and holy water under the bed, even though I know every entrance is secure.  My brother comes back, but he’s different now, he’s not the same, I should have looked for him.  I feel guilty.  We found out his soul is gone, his soul, his soul.  The angel is back, but he’s no real help.  I kill myself to speak to Death, who brings back his soul in exchange for me playing Death, where I learn a few hard lessons. 

I find out the angel has been working with our enemies.  Why does it feel like my heart is broken when he won’t meet my eyes?  I leave him to the demons, but not before one last look.  I’m not sure why.  The idiot, he ends up dying trying to get souls from Purgatory, desperate to win his war in Heaven.  Why does everyone leave me?  The Leviathan are out there, a new threat.  At least I know how to kill, so I won’t have to think about the muddy trenchcoat in the trunk of my car.  I lose the closest thing I have to a father with a bullet to the brain.  I feel like I’m spinning out of control.  My brother loses his mind.  The angel comes back, he doesn’t recognize me, that hurts.  When he does remember me, I tell him we need him, but I really mean that I do. 

I get sent to Purgatory, I meet a vampire turned ally turned new best friend, but I won’t leave without the angel, I can’t leave without the angel.  We find him, he was running from me, why does everyone run from me?  We make it out of Purgatory, the angel gets left behind.  It turns out my brother didn’t look for me.  Why am I so dispensable?  The vampire is the only one I can trust now.  I dream about the angel, about the way I couldn’t save him.  I feel like I can’t save anyone these days.  I see the angel in the air around me, am I going crazy?  But then he shows up behind me, why do I care so much about him?  I don’t even care where he came from, as long as he’s here.  My brother takes on trials, they start to hurt him.  We find a place to call home.  I’ve never had my own bedroom before.  The angel is distant, I wish I could reach him.  He doesn’t answer my prayers.  He and I find the angel tablet, he hits me.  I tell him I need him, never able to tell him that I think I might love him too.  He snaps out of it then walks out of my life again.  I wish I was lovable.  I almost lose my brother to the trials, he has to know I can’t lose him, he’s all I’ve got.  The angels fall, I wonder about my angel, if he’s alright. 

My brother is dying, and I make a deal with an angel to save him.  My angel says he’s a good guy, and I’m too desperate to vet him properly.  I watch my angel, now a human, die in front of me, the angel in my brother saves him, it’s one of the only times I’ve ever put someone else over my brother.  I feel guilty about that.  I have to kick my angel out, it tears me in half to do it, but I have to protect my brother.  I watch the angel from a gas station window, I try to find the courage to go see him.  I use humor to hide how much I miss him.  My brother finds out about the angel, which cost the life of a kid I was supposed to protect, he’s so angry at me.  Well, I deserve it this time.  I take the Mark of Cain to defeat Abaddon, it can’t be all that bad.  I start to lose my grip on myself.  My angel gives up an army for me, and it’s the closest I feel to being me in months. My brother and my angel try to stop it, but it’s too late.  I die in my brother’s arms.

I wake up with black eyes.  I don’t care about anyone, anything.  There’s a tiny part of me that’s screaming to wake up, but I drown him out easily enough.  My brother finds me, says he wants to cure me.  I don’t want it, I don’t want to be me, not feeling is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.  They do cure me though, my brother and my angel, and waking up from the blackness is like surfacing from deep water.  For a while, I feel loved.  But after what I did, I don’t feel like I deserve it.  I’m still not me, and when my friend, who I loved like a sister is taken, I go off the deep end again. It’s too easy, but violence is all I know.  The angel tries to stop me.  I have him where I want him, a blade to the heart and this is all over.  But I still can’t kill him, I still can’t kill the angel.  Death tells me I have to kill my brother.  I almost do it.  But killing Death releases me, and I’m me again.  Sometimes I still wish I wasn’t.

I have this connection to this Darkness.  It scares the hell out of me.  I wish I understood it, I wish I could stop it.  Am I pulled towards the Darkness because I, myself, am darkness?  Is it because I am, because I’ve always been bad?  I lose the angel to Lucifer himself, how did I not notice until it was too late?  Why would he leave me like this?  Will I ever get him back?  My head is foggy around the Darkness, but not when it comes to him.  I just wish I could get through to him.  Lucifer taunts me, my heart rips in half.  We get the angel back, but nothing good can last in this life, can it?  God himself returns, I have to sacrifice myself to stop the Darkness.  I’ll do it, because of course I will, if I have an opportunity to do some good, I’ll take it.  The Darkness doesn’t kill me.  She thanks me.

My mother is alive.  It’s everything I’ve always wanted.  I have to learn fast that she’s not what I thought.  That’s hard.  Me and my brother end up in prison for trying to kill Lucifer, and we find out this girl is going to have his kid.  How will we kill someone innocent?  I can’t think about that, I’m a killer, I’ll kill if i have to.   The angel kills a reaper to save me, but what will happen to him?  We start looking for this kid, but do we even want to find it?  The angel nearly dies for me, he tells me, my family he loves us.  I wish I could tell him the same, but the words won’t work right in my brain, so I do what I always do, I look away.  The angel finds the girl, but the kid inside her gets to him, and he runs away from me.  Why does everyone run from me?  We find them just in time to find a rift to another world, and my brother has to drag me away from the angel, who is going to sacrifice himself to kill Lucifer.  He comes back, but before I can say the words I’ve been holding onto for so long, he dies in front of me, only this time, it’s real.  My mom is taken from me too, and I’m left by the angel’s side, staring up at the sky, wondering why, why me?

I bury the angel, my brother insists we can’t kill the kid, even though it’s his fault my mom is gone and the angel is...  I beg God to bring him back, please, bring him back.  You owe me this, please bring him back.  He doesn’t listen.  I’m alone.  We burn the angel, and I try to learn to live with regret and grief and crippling pain all at once.  I hate the kid, this is his fault.  I kill myself again to save some souls, but also because I want to die this time.  I can’t take it anymore.  Death tells me I have work to do, but how much more work can there be?  How much more can I take?  It’s like the Universe reads my mind, because my angel comes back, and it’s like the last few weeks haven’t happened.  I still can’t say the words, but maybe this time I’ll get there.  Maybe this time.  We go to the other world, we save some people, I find my mom.  I let another Michael from the other world possess me to defeat Lucifer, but then I can’t expel him.  Before he shuts me in my memories, I am desperately afraid.

My brother and the angel find me in my own head, the snap me out of it.  I should have known this bar was too good for me, I knew I didn’t deserve it.  I shut Michael in there, but I know I won’t last long. I think I’m too weak to hold him, so I build a box designed to hold me forever.  I dream about it, claw the sides of the wall until my nails are bloody, but if it’s my eternity or Michael’s rule?  I’ll take the ocean every time.  The angel will always try to save me, I still can’t say the words.  The kid, my kid, he destroys Michael, but something is wrong, and I don;t realize until it’s too late.  My mother is dead, at the hands of the kid, and I have never been angrier.  I hate the kid again, I hate the angel too, I hate myself more.  I pull a gun on the kid, but I still can’t pull the trigger.  Sometimes I wish I could put it to my own head.  God comes back, turns out he was the villain all along.  Typical.  He kills our kid.  I can’t let myself feel.

The angel tries to convince me that we’re real.  How can I believe that?  Is everything I am just a story?  Have I ever chosen anything?  Does the angel really care about me?  Do I really care about him?  Another one of our friends dies.  I blame the angel, I push him away, because I can’t look at him if I think what I feel for him might not be real.  I meet up with someone I loved.  He’s a monster now, I have to kill him.  He dies holding me.  I wish I was dead sometimes too.  My brother is sick, he gets kidnapped by God.  I’m spinning in circles.  Me and the angel end up in Purgatory again.  He gets taken from me.  I’m so alone, so scared, I break down in the one place I could get lost in forever searching for the angel, I don’t want to leave him, please, don’t make me leave him.  I have to keep looking, get back to the real world to save my brother.  How will I choose?  Thank god, or, whatever, I find the angel.  I’ll tell him this time, but he stops me.  He must know.  He doesn’t want me, no one wants me.  Why would they?  Chuck has taken everything from me.  I have to kill him, no matter the cost.  The cost is gonna be our kid, raised from the dead by Death.  I guess the one thing we have going for us is we don’t stay dead for long.  I’m ready to let my kid die for my freedom.  My brother stands in the way, I pull a gun on him.  He talks me down, he’s the only one that can.  I decide to take it out on Death, my pain, my anger, my rage.  I take the angel and we find her, she chases us.  Another trap.  I realize that I’ve trapped us both.  Why am I so worthless?

The angel looks at me.  He smiles.  He tells me how worthy I am, that I’m good, that I changed him.  How can I tell him how he changed me.  He tells me he’ll die for loving me.  Then he shouldn’t, I’m not worth his life.  Don’t leave me, please, I can’t lose you, you don’t know what it does it me when you leave me.  He tells me he loves me.  I try to tell him a fraction of the things I feel for him, but it’s too late.  He’s taken before my eyes, and this time I know there’s no getting him back.

I’m left on the floor, unable to move.

This time I know, I’ll never let myself love again, because my heart is so shattered that it’s powdered, there’s no repairing it now.  I’ve always been broken, but this time I’m not just broken: I’m destroyed.

[ballorawan740]

SCP Scenarios: SCP x Reader - McDonald's Sprite (REQUESTED)

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Requested by: @katnotmore123

Bro y'all be simping for Sprite and I'm here simping for 7Up...

I mean I like them both but I just prefer 7up over Sprite... It's like comparing Pepsi and Coke ngl but with a more subtle difference

SCP 073 (Cain)

You came back to the foundation one day with a cup of iced drink and Cain had asked what you were drinking and you showed him

He was mildly confused but soon understood the beverage since he had seen them somewhere on the web (no, not the hub, an advert from McDonald's)

You asked if he wanted to try some and he did, so you gave him a sip

You were slightly annoyed and surprised since you drove over an hour and hadn't had anything to drink and the last thing you wanted was someone taking your drink

But since it was 073, you made it an exception since you hadn't expected him to have any food or beverages outside of site 17

You figured that he had enjoyed it as he reminisced his past about being able to eat plant-based food but no longer could

You felt bad and agreed to get more when you next go back

The researchers had wondered if the drink had ever rotted in his mouth but realise moments later that it's mainly made out of artificial ingredients aside from the natural flavourings

SCP 076-2 (Abel)

I have high doubts that you would be able to persuade Abel to drink such a plain beverage, so you had devised a plan to get him to try

You made a bet with Abel in which the loser has to finish off the drink, not that you'd complain (you unhealthy mf), but you really wanted him to give it a try

Abel accepted and had very much lost the bet

He had taken a sip and you noticed that he's enjoying the drink and teased him

He spat it out and flat out denied it (like the tsundere he is) but continued drinking it anyways

Some of the researchers monitoring Abel's cell found it rather amusing that he enjoyed such a "plain beverage" and did try to tease him about it

Let's just say it didn't end very well as it resulted in somebody's head being chopped off

You both had agreed that if Abel stops trying to breach his containment and be more cooperative, you or somebody else in your team would buy him more Sprite from McDonald's (and by 'buy', I mean kidnapping the whole chain's Sprite dispenser)

SCP 999 (Tickle Monster)

999 would most definitely take the drink out of your hand since his little tingles tell him that whatever you were drinking was sweet

And he was very much right

You were slightly shocked but wasn't surprised since he does have quite a sweet tooth

Every now and again, SCP 999 would ask if you had any more of those drinks and would even ask what they were

You had explained to him that it's a lemon and line flavoured soft drink created by the Coca-Cola company (the more you know right?)

He was intrigued and sweetly requested if you could buy him more and you obliged

You would use your time off to buy a dozen of Sprites from McDonald's and would sometimes buy other soft drinks like Coke and Fanta for 999

Needless to say, you had an orange blob as your personal pet who would give you unlimited hugs since you spoiled him with so many drinks

SCP 682 (Hard to Destroy Reptile)

This mf of a lizard right here is just as stubborn, if not even more than Abel, and would reject trying that beverage at all for the whole entire week

You had to bribe him and the researchers were laughing their socks off from this interaction you both got going

He did give in but was rather hesitant at first

Once you poured some into his mouth, he seemed slightly disgusted from the taste

He would just sit still for a moment as to contemplate then stuck his tongue out as a sign of disgust

But bring the cheeky person you were, you spilt more into his mouth which led to him farting for the next few hours to which everyone laughed

Dr Bright heard the commotion and came to see what was happening

Let's just say he encouraged you to carry on if you want your head cut off but found it amusing regardless

In short, don't ever give him Sprite unless you want to torture him

SCP 049 (Plague Doctor)

Does this bird doctor even drink?!

You mention multiple times about human food and how delicious they are

Mainly McDonald's Sprite and their food since its rather popular

ESPECIALLY THEIR CHEESE BITES/STICKS!!! HAVE YALL EVEN TRIED THEM!? THEY'RE DELICIOUS AF!!!

OMG they've released the garlic ones but I preferred the normal Mozzarella sticks and cheesy bites though

Anyways, back to Sprite, our side chick

049 would be intrigued about this 'Sprite' since you spoke so passionately about it like your life depended on it and requested you to get him one for a try and so you did

When he drank it he was surprised at the foreign taste

He asked if there were more beverages like it and you answered honestly, carrying on with your love for McDonald's and offered to buy him some for a try

Basically, 049 would give it a try since you spoke so passionately for them

He wouldn't necessarily hate it, but he wouldn't love the drink as much

I'd say he would be intrigued to try something new outside of his role in curing the pestilence

SCP 035 (Possessive Mask)

I am so sorry guys, I'll have to make 035 hella short since I can't think of anything interesting for him

DO YALL THINK THIS BOI CAN EVEN TRY?! JUST LOOK AT HIM!!! HE'S A BLOODY MASK!!!

The closest thing for him to try the drink is if you gave his now possessed body some beforehand so 035 could telepathically understand the taste

Like if you just straight up gave him the drink I don't think he would be able to drink it even if he wanted to

If the now dead body never had Sprite, then you ould just describe the tase to him in form of arts (I like to imagine 035 would be into arts, especially performing arts since he's basically a theatre mask)

SCP 105 (Iris)

Our girl here has a high chance that she might have tried McDonald's Sprite

But she just prefers healthier foods (this healthy mf knows that y'all can't keep healthy, that's why she's here to start your New Year's Resolution which is to stay healthy)

You both would recommend food which is healthy or unhealthy and would try them

Iris is more than capable of controlling her diet, but you, on the other hand, have a hard time doing so (don't lie, we all know y'all like junk food)

So, you both compromised in which you can have junk food as a reward, namely your favourite beverage, Sprite

You just love the citrus flavoured, colourless beverage so much that Iris would have to hide the drink from you (ah yes great promotion from me XD)

What would you do without our girl, Iris, eh? (Die from overeating unhealthy food which causes heart attacks and strokes, of course, fun!)

Anyways, sometimes when you're the one going out, you would be the one to buy a few dozen bottles of Sprite from McDonald's (bro do they even sell bottled drinks? Ik they do in KFC from where I live OwO)

Iris would drop dead from the sight of you bringing in so many Sprites into the foundation

She would most likely drink some with you, not because she likes them, god no

It's because there's no more room to store them and she's just a little bit thirsty

SCP 106 (Old Man)

This old man would be so confused by all this food and drinks from the outside world

His first impression of McDonald's was that of a circus since you've shown him the older advertisement for McDonald's since it fits his age (love you 106!!! Not)

And then you gave him a menu, and god did he not have any glasses (boi he do be needing to go to Specsavers fr)

He read Mozzarella Sticks as mosasaurs pricks, the Spicy Veggie One as spicy vag- and what's worse is that he read Double Quater Pounder as double quantum pounding (he even read Coke wrong!)

You and the foundation staff burst out of laughter at his 20/20 eyesight

So one day, you returned to the foundation with some Sprite in your hands in hopes that 106 would give it a go and so he did

He found the flavour somewhat new and strange but still enjoyed it nevertheless (this boi here do be a man of culture, am I right?)

Anyways, 106 loved it so much to the point that during one of the breaches, he disappeared from the foundation and reappeared with 10 boxes of Sprite

The researchers then realised afterwards that 106 had used his pocket dimension to teleport to the nearest McDonald's and stole the boxes of Sprite without even paying

They were even more surprised to find that the workers there were ordinary humans and weren't even fazed about 106 teleporting to their business (Sames here bro! If anyone stole my food/drinks I'd be pissed too regardless of who it is!!! Food is food!!!)

You basically made him addicted to Sprite

SCP 096 (Shy Guy)

(Imma be honest here, idk if this guy eats since he's facing the wall and covering his face like 99% of the time unless some guy saw his face)

You were sat in 096's cell and was debating on what food to get from McDonald's

096 was curious about what you're talking about since he heard you mumbling bout food from this so-called "McDonald's"

So you explained to him the concept of food and that generally speaking, unhealthy foods are tastier and typically served quicker in at places like McDonald's

Imma be real here, I like Burger King's chilli cheese bites a tiny bit more since the McDonald's at my place is stuck with garlic cheese bites atm

It's not like I hate them, but I just prefer the old ones, but it's nice that McDonald's changes up their food every now and then

Anyways, back onto our side chick

You bought your favourite Sprite along with the double quantum pou- quarter pounder

096 was upon curious and so you let him have a bite of your quarter pounder and your Sprite

Let's just say that 096 found it weird and didn't ask about human food again

Dr Jack bright

Jack Bright is very much aware of McDonald's and other fast-food chains since he does have a fair share of memories of eating them with his family and because the bodies he possesses do be unhealthy af (just like you)

You were talking about food with one of your co-workers and Bright just so happened to be nearby and butted his head into the conversation

Your co-worker also just happened to leave for a meeting so you're both stuck together talking about McDonald's

Sometime later, you bought to the foundation some food, including Jack's favourites as he had mentioned not long ago

You both tried each other's food and he was mesmerised by the Sprite since it's been a while since he had it

So whenever you went back, you would buy a larger bottle of Sprite for Jack since he wouldn't have much free time and needed to drink more anyways

Sometimes, when you're both talking about food, you'd make up puns for them or just laugh at your misinterpretations since you're just as blind as a bat (btw I've read somewhere that bats have good vision, they just use echolocation a lot)

Some of the things you both would say would be "Did you hear that McDonald's gave all their employees large laptops for Christmas? They were Big Macs" and "Hey, Ronald McDonald - been watching any good clown movies? Ronald: I'm loving it"

One time, he smacked your bum and casually said to you "Girl, this quarter-pounder will take you to a whole different level of experience" and then left

Dr Simon Glass

Another doctor who has knowledge of fast foods

He's similar to Bright in a way as he doesn't leave the facility as often as he likes since he's constantly busy

Also, he would make terrible jokes and puns using wordplay

When you told him about your favourite drink, Sprite, Glass immediately said "I went to the store to get eight cans of Sprite. When I got home, I realized I’d only picked seven up"

You just looked dumbfounded at his puns and laughed as he continued

He did manage to take a sip and drank the whole can of Sprite instead

You even bought some wrap with extra mayo and told Simon about your friendly chat with the waitress/cashier and mentioned her former co-workers

And you died on the inside because his only reply was "She should go back sometime to ketchup with her old co-workers or she mayo not want to"

To shut him up, you have decided that buying him Sprite would work and it kinda did

Only for a short while though

Dr Alto Clef

Clef is well aware of the fast-food chain called McDonald's

It was hard to ignore it as a lot of people younger than him had kept talking about it, even you

Even worse if it was you talking about McDonald's since you have an obsession with their Sprite

Poor Clef was confused as he assumed that all lemon/lime flavoured drinks were the same

Oh boy was he wrong

You came back with your lunch from you know where and 2 bottles of Sprite

One was from McDonald's and the other from Lidl along with some of your favourite pastries, like croissants and toffee yum yums

You had him try all the foods and both Sprites and he finally gave in to the fact that McDonald's Sprite tastes more superior than the other

Not only that, he made dirty jokes and puns about the food in McDonald's

Like "Baby, you got more legs than a bucket of McDonald's", "Come over to my house and I’ll give ya a happy meal", "Do you work here? Because I’d like to order some fries with that shake" and "Girl when I am done with you, you won't be looking for no toys in this happy meal"

Dr Benjamin Kondraki

Benjamin Kondraki would be the type of person who would be reluctant to try but would anyways since you asked so kindly and gave them those eyes

And by that, I mean a death glare

NGL he doesn't seem like the type of fella to be eating a ton of unhealthy food

I mean he doesn't necessarily eat salad or anything overly healthy, but he does have a balanced diet for the most part and does treat himself sometimes, but not too often

You magically crept up behind Kondraki and scared him unintentionally but you still laughed anyway because you're evil

He looked down and realised that the packaging was from McDonald's and you were holding a familiar clear bottle in your other hand

You were kind enough to share your food with him and he thoroughly enjoyed it

Then after that, you forced him to drink some Sprite since he has PTSD from your unhealthy obsession with it

And yes, he did end up drinking it

And no, he didn't like it nor did he hate it

You were upset that you thought he shot you down about Sprite but quickly regained your happiness since he did tell you about the drink being just above average

[mimisempai]

I will never give up on you

Summary:

Now that things are back to normal, Mobius begins to wonder if he is the right person for Loki and is willing to let him go so he can be happy. Loki will prove to Mobius that he too can lean on Loki.

🌈 Happy Pride month ! 🌈

To celebrate, 1 day, 1 story.

Be ready for smiles, laugh, fluff, tooth rotthing fluff, positive vibes and a lot of love!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32223349

2170 words - Rating G

"Oh my! Did you see Loki at the briefing this morning?!"

"He had that adorable smile again!"

"You mean the smile that would light up the whole room if it was night?"

"Yes!!!"

Mobius couldn't help but smile as he heard the gossip of the latest recruits.

After all it was not uncommon for people, girls or boys, to rave about his lover who really had the figure of a god.

Sometimes it made Mobius conscious of his own appearance and he wondered what could attract Loki to him, while the TVA was full of female or male specimens much more attractive than himself.

He continued on his way, with a slightly less energetic step when Miss Minutes' small, knowing voice called out, "That smile is not for you!"

The group of girls cried out, "What?!!! Then who is it for!"

"That's not for me to say." She replied in a mysterious tone. Then she continued clapping her little white-gloved hands, ending the discussion. "Come on, the class on time travel paradoxes is about to start!"

Mobius, continuing on his way to his office, thought about what Miss Minutes had just said.

There were few of them who knew about the relationship between Loki and him. Miss Minutes, Casey and Sylvie.

It wasn't that they had made it a secret.

Honestly if Mobius listened to himself, he'd be shouting it to the world.

But he couldn't help but wonder.

They hadn't really discussed their relationship yet, and Mobius was afraid to broach the subject. He was afraid that now that they were living a fairly normal life, as normal as it could be considering the circumstances, Loki would realize that he could do much better than a plain looking, not-so-young agent.

The circumstances of their meeting had been particular, he had been what the god had needed and now he wondered what he could bring him.

Before Loki, the life of Mobius had been the TVA, he had had some affairs, with Revonna for example, but nothing serious.

Then there was Loki, who had made his way into Mobius' heart very quickly.

In the next hallway, as he turned towards the door of his office, he saw the object of his thoughts surrounded by a small group of people. They were talking animatedly.

Suddenly Loki began to smile. The same smile that he had whenever he saw Mobius, the one the girls were talking about before.

But this time the smile wasn't directed at him.

Mobius' throat tightened. Maybe it was time to free Loki and let him fly away.

So he spent the day avoiding him. Every time Loki came near or wanted to talk to him, Mobius found an excuse to leave or found a way to slip away.

When Casey had picked him up for their daily lunch in the cafeteria, he had declined.

His actions did not go unnoticed by the object of his affection.

Loki sensed that something was wrong.

These last times, he had the impression that they got closer and Mobius was not averse to dispense signs of affection that Loki returned him well.

Loki wondered what he had done. Because if something went wrong, it was surely his fault. He had a gift for ruining his relationships with people. However, for once, Loki didn't want to give up until he had tried everything. Because he had changed, or rather he was who he was supposed to be and not who other people had decided was destined to be and he owed that to Mobius.

It was time for them to have a serious discussion about their relationship and it would happen now. He walked with a determined step towards Mobius' office, entered and closed the door gently behind him.

Mobius, standing in front of the window, had not heard him enter.

Loki approached him gently, embraced him from behind, put his chin on his shoulder and whispered in his ear.

"I finally caught my runaway boyfriend..."

He knew he was taking a risk by putting a label on something they hadn't defined yet, and he didn't miss the way Mobius froze when Loki said the word boyfriend.

He simply tightened his arms around Mobius.

"Hey..." murmured Mobius. He couldn't help but lean his head against Loki's on his shoulder.

Once again the god had baffled him, and he didn't know what to address first, the fact that Loki had noticed him avoiding him or the way he had called him. Boyfriend...

He turned in Loki's arms and looked up to meet Loki's gaze.

"I..." he paused, unable to sort out his thoughts at the way Loki looked at him. He could see tenderness and devotion, and something more that he couldn't define.

Loki smiled and said softly, "It's rare that you have trouble finding your words."

Mobius muttered, "Not everyone can be talkie talkie like you."

Loki took on a falsely outraged look, "Hey I thought you liked that!"

"I do."

Actually, it wasn't the only thing he liked.

His expression tightened and Loki noticed the change in his countenance. He ran his fingertips gently over Mobius' face and asked softly, "Hey, tell me what's wrong? I'm not blind, you know, I've seen how you've been avoiding me all day. Is it something I did or didn't do? Tell me Mobius, because if I don't know, I can't change anything. And what's between us is too precious to me to ruin in any way. And I-"

Mobius interrupted him by putting a finger over his mouth.He had been appalled as Loki spoke to him, because he realized that he who prided himself on being clear-headed and able to read people, had been wrong about everything, and that his fear of facing things head-on had made Loki insecure and worse, made him feel guilty when there was no reason to.

He had been appalled as Loki spoke to him, because he realized that he who prided himself on being clear-headed and able to read people had been wrong about everything, and that his fear of facing things head-on had made Loki insecure and worse, made him feel guilty when there was no reason to.

From the beginning, they had been honest and sincere with each other. Loki had not hesitated to bare his heart more than once, showing unwavering trust in Mobius and at the first obstacle Mobius was not able to show him the same trust?

He had to stop acting like an idiot. As humiliating as it might be, it was up to him to bare his heart, to expose his fears and insecurities.

"Stop Loki.This isn't you, I promise you, you didn't do anything wrong."

Not daring to look him in the eye, he told him everything, the conversation he had witnessed in the morning, which had triggered this path of thoughts, leading to his doubts and fears.

"And now I feel like such an idiot for reacting that way instead of facing the problem head on. For being jealous like a teenager."

Loki lifted his chin with his hand and Mobius saw that he was looking at him with the same fond eyes as before as he shook his head.

"I don't know where to start, but the first thing I want you to know is that just because when we first met, I was the one who needed you, doesn't mean you have to be strong all the time. I'm certainly not going to judge you for a moment of doubt. Honestly, that you were jealous of this group of people, I don't know if that's flattering or ridiculous or a little of both. But I want to reassure you of one thing. Do you know why I was smiling like that? It's because they were talking about you, that when they finished their training they wanted to become an agent like you. I was just smiling because I was proud of my boyfriend.And by the way, about the label, honestly I don't care, I called you boyfriend before because that's what came to my mind spontaneously, the most important thing is what's here." said Loki pointing at Mobius' chest.

"That's just it." intervened Mobius, "I think my doubts come mainly from the fact that I don't know what's here." in turn he pointed to Loki's chest. "We never talked about what was between us. And you know me, as much as I like a little chaos, I like to know where I'm going. It probably makes me an annoyingly serious person, but that's just the way I am."

It was Loki's turn to put a finger to Mobius' lips to shut him up.

"I don't see it that way, we complement each other, and that's fine. Mobius, you know I often talk to say nothing and not so long ago, while we were on Lamentis with Sylvie, I tried to define love, a little drunk I found a ridiculous metaphor about a dagger. When all I would have had to do was to draw inspiration from reality. I know perfectly well what I would answer now if she asked me again to define love. I would tell her love is someone who is not afraid to put you in front of your failures so that you realize that you are better than what you are, it is someone who sees the good in you and better who sees the good that you are being able to do, love is being confidently able to fall asleep in the presence of someone you trust, love is wanting the person you love to believe in you, love is knowing that if you fall down you will be helped up, it is wanting his face to be the first one you see in the morning and the last one at night. "

He wiped a tear that spilled from Mobius' eye with his thumb before continuing, "Mobius, I don't need a metaphor to describe love since I have you."

He then leaned towards Mobius, closing the little distance that still separated them and placed his lips on his and set about proving his words in the most beautiful way possible.

When they separated to catch their breath, Loki pressed Mobius' head against his chest, tightening his arms around him as Mobius tied his arms around Loki's waist.Loki simply rested his chin on Mobius' head and they stayed like that for a long time, embracing each other in front of the window, in a comforting silence.

Mobius felt Loki's heart beating fast and strong against his ear and realized how much courage it took to open his heart like that, without waiting for Mobius' answer.

No! He didn't have to hide anymore. Loki had shown courage in facing their relationship head on and he was going to do the same!

He pushed himself back, forcing Loki to loosen his grip and took his hand. He looked into Loki's eyes and with a pounding heart said, "You know I knew you before we met, I had watched your life story several times, and it was during those viewings that I fell in love with you. Don't make round eyes like that. Once you take off the shell, when you see past the mischief and missteps, it's so easy to love you. When you first came here, you showed all the qualities I saw in you and made me fall in love with you all over again, and now that you've broken free of your chains, I fall in love with you every day."

Loki grinned a little shakily before saying, "You realize that makes us the biggest sappy idiots in this world."

"No witnesses, no proof." Mobius pulled his lover's head toward him to wipe away his cheeky smile with a kiss that left them both panting.

"How about we continue this at home."

They walked out of the office, Mobius locked the door, and when he turned around, Loki was holding out his hand. He grasped it, and with intertwined fingers they walked towards their home.

Suddenly, they found themselves face to face with two of the girls Mobius had heard talking that morning.

They stopped, and he saw their eyes fixed on their locked hands. The girls started walking past them and they heard them giggling and whispering behind them.

They looked at each other, smiling.

"Do you realize that tomorrow the whole of the TVA staff will know about this?" asked Loki.

"That's fine with me, I won't need to show that you're mine."

"That's a shame, I'd like to see you possessive. Maybe I should smile more often for others than you." replied Loki with a suggestive raise of his eyebrow.

Mobius growled, "Loki..."

Only the god's mischievous laughter answered him. They continued on their way home, bickering lovingly under the watchful eyes of two witnesses who couldn't wait until the next day to spread the news: Agent Mobius was responsible for Agent Loki's radiant smile.

Epilogue here : X

_______

Not beta'd I hope you enjoyed it 🥰

The whole series here : Together, For all time, Always

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

I’ll leave what I’m chasing - part 5

This was going to be longer but I’m stuck so have the first part instead ;)

(AO3 link)

*****

“Where are you two off to this morning?” Robert jumps a little as his Mum’s voice comes from right behind him. He’s holding onto Seb’s hand, the little boy jumping up and down beside him as he stops.

“We’re going to feed the ducks Ganma!”

“You are? Can I come with you and Daddy, peanut?” His head nods so fast Robert’s sure it’ll fly off and they start walking towards the pond that Kim Tate had installed up at the HOP. Robert objects to it on principle but Seb loves the ducks, and the play area so he’s putting up with it. “So, where’s Aaron and Ana?” She asks when Seb’s run off ahead of them.

“Home. She’s sniffly and I didn’t think it was a good idea to bring her out.”

“Babies are stronger than you think, you know.” He shrugs. “Aaron told me you’d been struggling a bit.”

“Great. Why doesn’t he just tell everyone how useless I am.”

“That didn’t even come close to what he said. He’s just worried; about you, not Ana or Seb.”

“I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve missed the bits I know how to do, like when we had Seb.” His mum huffs out a little laugh. “What?”

“You could have ten kids and each one would be different Robert. Do you hold her? Feed her? Play with her, talk to her?” He nods. “Then you’re doing fine. You probably don’t see it because you’ve convinced yourself you’re doing something wrong but she loves you, she already reacts to you. That’s enough.” When they reach the pond he sits on the bench keeping an eye on Seb as he tries to get close to the ducks without scaring them.

“Seb, don’t go near the edge ok?”

“See. You’re a Dad.”

“That’s just common sense.”

“Being a parent is mostly common sense love. This isn’t about that really is it? Because you were doing ok before you found out about Chas.”

“How can I be comfortable with him losing her because of me? Because he might say he’s ok with it and that it wasn’t my fault, but it wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for what I did?”

“Do you know what one of your biggest faults is?”

“Letting you come with us this morning?”

“No, cheeky. You take the troubles of everyone you love on as your own which is a good thing, but you sometimes don’t know when to stop and think of yourself.”

“You mean like with Vic?”

“If you like. But my point is, if Aaron says he’s ok then maybe you should trust that.”

“Except for all the times he’s told me that exact same thing and been anything but. He’s good at hiding stuff Mum. Too good.”

“Fair point. Except I really think he is about this. Look I’m not going into the whys and wherefores but he and I have had a lot of time to get to know each other and talked a lot.”

“So, what, I don’t know him now?”

“That’s another thing, you like to think you know what people are saying. All I’m saying is, this isn’t like those other times, this is different. He’s had a lot of time to make peace with his Mum if he wanted. Do you think maybe he just doesn’t want to? That he’s tired of having to battle for her to accept he’s an adult, that he’s not going to do what pleases her for an easy life?”

“No, it’s not like that. If I hadn’t got banged up they’d still be talking.”

“Maybe, maybe not. It’s not like they haven’t got on well before and then it’s all gone to pieces. He’d just had enough of it Robert, and her not caring that Seb was in the room was the final straw.”

“Yeah but…it was still me.”

“Do I have to sit here and list all the ways your lives are better off because you’re together because I will. I think the two of you are more similar than you think. I know you told him about your Dad before me, and I know you wouldn’t have told me at all if he hadn’t pushed you to. It’s not the same, I know, but I do think maybe you wish you had the chance to stand up to Jack like he has with Chas.” He shakes his head but he knows she’s right.

“It’s different. She’s still here, he can make it right.”

“He shouldn’t have to. He gave her more than one chance, love.” He doesn’t answer, he knows she’s right, but even so there’s that nagging doubt that one day Aaron will realise what he’s lost because of him and he’ll hate him for it. They sit in silence for a while, watching Seb run around, burning off some of his seemingly endless energy. “While we’re on the subject, I wouldn’t be surprised if maybe you think you can’t be a good Dad because of Jack too and you’re just a little bit jealous of how good Aaron is with them, and you’re trying to use this as an excuse to keep him at arm’s length. You think Aaron didn’t have those exact same thoughts when you got back together and Seb came along?”

“Did you take a psychiatry degree while I wasn’t looking?”

“Oh this is just good old mother’s intuition. I’ll let you into a secret when I came to live with you and your Dad I was terrified, there’s you with your cheeky face and your big blue eyes relying on me and I didn’t have a clue what I was doing, but I had your Gran, God bless her, judging me all the time. I didn’t have you for the first three years of your life, which is more than Ana and Seb have lost with you, but you asked me to be your Mummy and I’ve never been happier than that day. You tell me whether I did a decent job or not.”

“Daddy! Daddy! Can I feed them now?” Seb comes running over, coat somehow undone and flapping around, boots and parts of his trousers covered in mud.

“Did you go swimming with the ducks too? OK, come on, let’s get some food out of the machine.” Robert really does object to giving that woman money, but Seb loves the little food dispensers and watching the ducks scrabble for it as he throws it in. They’ve been here five or six times in the short time he’s been home and each time you’d think it was the first time Seb had seen them.

“I want to do the money! I like money.”

“Oh, that’s a little scary.” He mumbles to his Mum’s laughter. “I just don’t want them to ever feel like I did. That they’re not enough, that they’re to blame for something.”

“They won’t because you and Aaron won’t let that happen. Just trust what Aaron about Chas ok? He loves you and that’s bigger than anything else. Everything else will work itself out.”

“Yeah.” Seb drags him away from her, “By the way, you were the best Mum I could’ve chosen.”

*****

“Did you talk to him?” He can hear Aaron as he takes Seb’s coat and boots off in the hallway and he can’t help but smile at the worry in Aaron’s voice.

“Yes she did. You can stop conspiring now. Ok mate, go wash your hands now.” He tries to look stern at his husband but he can’t keep the smile off his face. “You worry too much. I just had a wobble.”

“A wobble that made you stop sleeping?”

“Yeah. It’s fine. We talked and I heard a few home truths. Talking helped. Now I just want to move on.” Aaron doesn’t look convinced and he can see the looks passing between him and his Mum. “I mean it.”

“On that note, I think we should go to the pub tonight, the three of us.”

“Sure. Seb’s old enough to take care of Ana right?” Aaron quips and Robert tries to stifle a laugh.

“Haha. I’m sure Diane will have them, you know she loves seeing them. Moving on means being part of the village, yes?” They nod, knowing full well there’s no point arguing with her. “Right then, we’ll have dinner. Be ready for seven.” With that’s he’s gone, leaving them staring at one another.

“That’s that then.”

[mythrilhusk]

!!Kill Techno-Sensei!! - Chapter One

Dream SMP x Assassination Classroom AU. Quackity-centric. No ships. 

Words: 1850 Chapter Two (Next) AO3 Version

ALL characters are based off of the Dream SMP characters, Not the content creators (some people are left out due to this, since they have no perceivable RP character). This was a lot of fun to write, and I hope y’all enjoy.

Content warnings: violence, panic attacks/anxiety, death mention, swearing (lots)

CHAPTER ONE (Kill A Little Time):

"Ten billion dollars??" Sapnap's amazed cry startles Quackity out of his tired stupor. Connor and Foolish crowd around Sapnap's desk, babbling with excitement. 

"What the fuck are you on about?" Quackity grumbles, but he can't help peeking over Sapnap's shoulder. The creased document seems to be a bunch of lousy legal drivel. 

"Big Q, the price on this guy's head! We'd be set for life!" 

Quackity makes a grabby gesture, and Sapnap gives the papers to him. His little gang of three-- (missing Karl, since the bastard had to get himself transferred to a different class)-- gathers around him as he flips through them.

That man’s face-- printed in thick, bold strokes on the third page-- clamps a vise around his throat, so tight it constricts the scream he wants to let out. He takes a deep breath. Holds it. Lets it out slowly. "This fucker??" He tosses the papers away dismissively. "He'll be dead in a day with that bounty." Foolish and Connor scramble to snatch the papers, vying for the prestige of being the first to share with the whole class. 

Sapnap, sweet Sapnap, leans over and murmurs worriedly, "You okay, Big Q?" 

"Fuck, I'm great!" Hysteria bites in Quackity's laugh. "Fucking hell, I'm- I'm- I'm abso-fucking-lutely screwed." 

"Why?" 

"Why?? That's- you know who that is!!" Quackity cries, not caring that the attention of his peers is being drawn to his outburst, like moths to fire, or like vultures to roadkill. 

"Yeah, but- yeah, he'll be dead in a day." Sapnap lets Quackity squeeze his hand. "You'll be fine. And if he dares to come anywhere near you, the Ducklings have your back." 

Quackity shudders. The thought of his friends going up against the dark shadow from his past fills him with terror. The terror fills him with helpless weakness. Which in turn feeds the vitriolic bitterness rooted deep inside his veins. "N-no, Sapnap. If he comes near, you run." 

"Who teh fock are you runnin' from? I wouldn't run. I'd stand there, and I'd fight it. I'd beat the shit outta it!" Tommy puffs his chest out as he stomps to his desk beside Quackity's, a sunny ray of cheering bravado. "All the ladies, all the ladies say, there goes a man who beats the shit outta what- whatever bothers him." 

Quackity laughs, burying the fear and acidic rage. "Aww, Big T, you'd fight a thousand armies for me?" 

"What?? No, I'd die." Tommy states.  

"You're a good man, Tomathy." 

"No man is good, Big Q. No man is good." 

The other students have all seated themselves in their assigned desks. There's a new teacher this year. Quackity wishes he'd had time to set up a few more pranks than horseradish sauce in the hand lotion dispenser and whoopee cushions on the teacher's chair. But he's not bad at improvising. 

The door opens, and the principal of the school strides in, her fluffy rainbow hair bouncing with every step. "All rise and bow for Captain Pussy!!" Tommy cries. Quackity busts a lung, he's laughing so hard. 

"T-Tommy, that's- that's not very nice, Tommy." Captain Puffy frowns, tapping her five-inch heels on the grimy linoleum. 

"Oh, right. Sorry, Captain." Tommy accepts the reproach with equanimity. "Fucking cold out, am I right, boys?" 

"And girl!!" Rose cries from the front of the class. 

"Yes, well, I was talking to mah boys." Tommy retorts with exaggerated stiffness. 

"Fucking shut up and let the goddamned principal speak!" Quackity cries upon regaining his breath from guffawing. He smiles at Sapnap. The worrywart smiles back gratefully. 

"Uh. Thank you, Quackity." Puffy sighs, looking downcast. "I'm sorry, kids. I tried to keep our school out of this. But Skeppy had- uh. The Prezz called in a few favors." 

"What's going on?" Tommy asks without raising his hand, because he's just that much of a rebel. 

Quackity's neck itches as though he's- being hunted again- no, no, that would never happen here, he's just a regular kid, in a regular school, no war criminals nearby.

But Puffy calls uncertainly to the door, "Mr. Blade?" And Quackity's heart leaps into his throat, choking him with the pounding thump-thump-thump so familiar to prey. 

"Yup." Technoblade's low, dry voice resonates through the numbly silent classroom. His shadow darkens the door. 

Quackity reaches for Sapnap's hand and squeezes tight. "No-no-no-no-" Sapnap squeezes back, fury beating in his firm pulse. Quackity takes a deep breath. Holds it. Lets it out. His friend is furious for his sake. 

Technoblade's clicking steps are the only sound in the quiet, other than Quackity's racing heartbeat. Quackity refuses to look away from Sapnap's hand, refuses to look up at the man who slaughtered his family without a single qualm. 

"I guess I'm your teacher or somethin'." A farting noise rips through the tense stillness. Quackity muffles a hysterical giggle; somebody sat on a whoopee cushion. "What a bunch of nerds." Techno's words are lightly spoken, suffocating Quackity with the terrible normalcy of it all. 

"Are you the Mr. Blade??" Of all people who could've spoken, it just has to be Tommy, doesn't it. 

"I am. Apparently." 

"Well, then. I'm going to fockin' beat the shit outta you." Tommy's voice is bright and clear, filled with brave anger. 

"K." Technoblade answers laconically, seemingly apathetic, but Quackity knows better. The fucking asshole is just restraining delight at yet another bloody massacre to feed his God with. 

"No." Quackity snarls, surprising himself with the loud intensity of his own voice. "Tommy, you're not fighting him." 

"But, Big Q-" 

"Let me handle this." Quackity flashes a grim smile to Tommy, then glares up at Captain Puffy. "Why are you letting a fucking war criminal teach highschoolers??" 

"I've renounced my violent ways, Quackity." Technoblade's calm retort chills him. "But I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for your government." Anyone else would miss the slight emphasis. Not Quackity. 

"It's not my fucking government. You killed my government, you killed them all!"

"I did what I had to do. For the greater good." 

"Um." Captain Puffy raises a hand. "Excuse me. Yes, all of you. Please calm down. We have insurance that makes it impossible for Technoblade to harm any of you-" 

"A hostage, you mean." Rage flickers beneath Technoblade's calm tone.   

A vengeful grin cracks across Quackity's dour face. "Oh... Techno, we're going to have so much fun." He dares to turn his gaze on the muzzled murderer. 

The man is smaller than he remembered. Paler. Thinner. His silky platinum hair cascades over his shoulders, braided haphazardly, with hints of pink dye streaking the tips. Technoblade doesn't smile, doesn't make any perceivable expression at all. Quackity stares him down, shooting every drop of vitriol he can muster. 

Technoblade winces, almost imperceptibly, and breaks eye contact. Battle won. A surge of euphoric power floods Quackity with confidence. "Yo, I'm going to fucking kill you." 

"You can try." Technoblade smiles. 

"You're just a human, Technoblade. Terrifying? Yeah, sure. But your days are fucking numbered and I'm the one who's going to take your goddamn life." 

"Uh, actually." Puffy interrupts again. "That's the thing." 

"What is??" 

"You're all going to have to try your best to kill him before the year is out." Puffy says in a rush.  

Quackity scoffs, but before he can say anything, Techno raises a hand. "See, there's the catch, Quackity." His form glitches. "I'm not actually a Human." 

Quackity gulps down his apprehension as the piggy monster in Technoblade's chair stares him down. "What are you, then??" 

"I dunno. Maybe I'll think of a name before my tragic end." 

Puffy sighs. "Drama kings. Okay, big guy, I'm going to, uhh, yeah, I have work to do. Y'all have fun." She leaves the stricken class with the monster. 

Technoblade scratches at the horny protusions wrapping around his head like a crown. The glowing irises inside his black sclera dance around the classroom, landing on each student before leaping away again. His pig-muzzle  wrinkles. Tusks curl out from his jaws. The blood-red cloak pinned around his shoulders hides most of his bulk. If he was scary before, he's fucking terrifying now.

"A fucking pig-man?? That's what you are??" 

"Eh." Technoblade grunts noncommittally. "You should see the other guys." 

Quackity frowns. "Why us?" 

"Huh?"

"Why does the government want us to kill you??" 

"Because I told them I wouldn't let myself be killed unless they let me teach a class." Technoblade the pig-monster smiles reminiscingly. "And then I killed my captors to prove the point. The Prezz thinks he can keep me under control because I wouldn't dare hurt a child... his words, not mine." His eyes twinkle. "I'm perfectly fine with dropkicking kids, particularly if it's in self-defense." 

Gulping, Quackity shrinks a bit in his chair. Against his will, the years-old wild laughter of the bloody former-human rings through his head once more. He'll never be rid of the ecstatic sound, never be rid of the dread that poisoned his veins as he hid while Technoblade obliterated his home. Blood for the Blood God... His breath comes short and fast. 

Sapnap squeezes his hand comfortingly. The fire blazing in his best friend's eyes tells Quackity that Sapnap won't just step aside and let Technoblade hurt him again. 

"That's focken cruel!" Tommy pipes up. "You're a focken menace, yeah. Boys, I say we take him down before anyone gets hurt." 

"You can try." 

Tommy snatches the shank slipped to him by Tubbo. "You're going down, you are!" 

Quackity stands up hastily and holds Tommy back before he can storm up to the implacable monster. "Big T, sit the fuck down, you're just going to get hurt." 

"I'll decide who gets hurt, thanks." Tommy retorts. "Techno, you're not going to hurt my friends." 

"See, Tommy, I can't really do that anyway." Technoblade growls. "But if I could, do you really think that measly pin could take me down?" 

"We'll focken see!!" Tommy rips himself from Quackity's grasp and leaps froggy-like over Hannah's desk. 

Quackity can only watch in horror as Technoblade doesn't even to bother standing up. The monster deflects Tommy's first wild slash. "Tommy, that's a piercing weapon." 

"I fuckin' know that, I'm trying to shank you with it!" 

"Tommy, you're doing it wrong." Technoblade sighs, starting to sound exasperated as Tommy fails swing after swing. 

"Tell me how to kill you, then!" 

"You can't." Technoblade spreads his arms. "Go ahead, try." 

Quackity gasps with delight as Tommy stabs the shank into Technoblade's chest. But Tommy screeches and lets go of the shank. The metal boils and melts into Technoblade's skin. 

"Wh-what the hell??" Tubbo leaps up and drags the stunned Tommy back to his desk. 

"The fuck was that??" Quackity cries, desperate to regain some semblance of control. 

"That? Merely a side effect." 

"Of what??" 

"Of being the first Mutant Earth has ever seen." Technoblade smiles unpleasantly. "And the last to ever exist. Make no mistake. If I'm not killed by this time next year, I will destroy this world."

==Please reblog and like if you enjoyed!! Thank you!!== 

Chapter Two (Next)

[rucbarthatbowtiesarecooldw]

Sunday Afternoon Session

Oh Say What is Truth

Softly and Tenderly

 Henry B. Eyring

“Of course it’s hard! It’s supposed to be! Life is a test!”

We are being proved to see if we will do what God has commanded

They love you..Your success is Their success

God has the power to make our way easier

He knows that we must grow in spiritual cleanliness and stature to be able to return to Him

In all things the Saviors example will be our guide

When you remember how much pain you can endure well, Remember Him. He suffered what you suffered so that He would know how to lift you up.

1 way will be to invite you always to Remember Him and Come unto Him

Feast upon His words

Faith unto repentance

Baptized and then keep covenants with God

D&C 58:4

When we lift another’s burden even a little our burdens are lightened

We must notice the suffering of others and try to help

Jeremy R. Jaggi – seventy

The day dawn is breaking, the world is awaking, the clouds of nights darkness are fleeing away

Count it all joy (James 1:2-4)

Let your trials work for your good

Of all the zealous social, religious, and political endeavors of our day, let ‘disciple of Jesus Christ’ be our most pronounced and affirming affiliation.

When we exercise patience our faith increases. When our faith increases, we have joy.

Where we make sacred covenants, the temple, is closed. Where we keep sacred covenants, our homes, are open.

“Be of good cheer” is the commandment from the Lord, not be of good fear

Hear, hearken, and heed the voice of the Prophet

Gary E. Stevenson

is something the Lord gives us to help us grow

God wants us to know that He will never abandon us, he will always be with us

We can help each other know that we can be blessed during adversity

Temple ordinances we have missed seem sweeter than previously imagined

Go forward and not backward and on, on to the victory

Acknowledge the afflictions in the course of our days, while also acknowledging that we are God’s children

I believe that one day, each of you will look back at the canceled events, the sadness, disappointments and loneliness attendant to the challenging times we are passing through to see it overshadowed by choice blessings and increased faith and testimonies.

He is my Savior, my redeemer, my hope, and consolation

Milton da Rocha Camargo – Sunday School 1st counselor

His impressions are really

He who seeks will find

We seek because we trust the Lord’s promises

Communication with our Father in Heaven enables us to sort through what is true and what is false, what is relevant to the Lord’s plan for us and what is not

To knock is to act in faith. When we actively follow Him, the Lord takes notice

I am here. I love you. Go on, do your best. I’ll support you.

He may not answer all of our questions or solve all of our problems right away; rather, He encourages us to keep trying. If we align our plan with His, He will guide us

 Guide Us O Thou Great Jehovah

 Dale G. Renlund

Salvation is not earned

We can never do enough or be enough by ourselves. The good news though, is that because of Jesus Christ and His atonement we can become enough

We can be redeemed and stand pure and clean before God

Do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly before God (Micah 6:8)

Do justly is a practical application of the two greatest commandments

Broken heart and contrite spirit entice us to joyfully repent

God delights in mercy and does not begrudge its use

 Leviticus 19:18

Always dealing well with others is part of loving mercy

When you become a physician you work to heal people, if you do otherwise you do not deserve to be here

Loving mercy means that we do not just love the mercy God extends to us, but also the mercy He extends to others

You shall not esteem one flesh above another Mosiah 23:7

Treat everyone with love and understanding regardless of characteristics such as race, sexual orientation, religious affiliation etc (I missed the rest ahh)

When ye do these things, you are on the covenant path

Kelly R. Johnson – seventy

What power and knowledge are you endowed with and will yet be endowed with?

Power of God is the power to do more than we can do by ourselves

Burning microwave ahahahahaha

Those who have faith and the word of God deep in their hearts will be able to absorb and overcome the fiery darts which the adversary will surely send to destroy us. Otherwise, our faith, hope and conviction may not endure, and like [an] empty microwave oven, we could become a casualty.

His power diminishes in our lives only if we fail to keep our sacred covenants

et a clear unchanging course in your life

There is no expiration date associated with the power God bestows upon those who make and keep temple covenants, or a restriction from accessing that power during a pandemic

Jeffrey R. Holland

Why the delay of help to come?

while we work and wait together for the answers to some of our prayers I offer you my Apostolic promise that they are heard and they are answered though perhaps not at the time or in the way that we want it but they are always answered at the time and in the way an eternally compassionate parent should answer them

he who never sleeps nor slumbers cares for the happiness of his children above all else that a divine being has to do

He is pure love gloriously personified and Merciful Father is His name

yes God can provide miracles instantaneously but sooner or later we learn that the times and seasons of our mortal journey are his alone to direct

for every infirm man healed instantly as he waits to enter the pool of Bethesda someone else will spend 40 years in the desert waiting to enter the promised land; for every nephi and Lehi divinely protected by an encircling flame of fire for their faith we have an abinadi burned at the stake of flaming fire for his; and we remember that the same Elijah though in an instant called down fire from heaven to bear witness against the priests of baal is the same Elijah  who went through a season when there was no rain for years and who for a time was found only by the skimpy sustenance that could be carried in a raven's claw -  by my estimation that can't have been anything we would call a happy meal

he point is that faith means trusting God in good times and bad even if that includes some suffering until we see his arm revealed in our behalf

one’s life cannot be both faith filled and stress free it simply will not work

Christianity is comforting but it is often not comfortable. the path to holiness and happiness here and hereafter is a long and sometimes rocky one it takes time and tenacity to walk it but of course the reward for doing so is monumental (taught in Alma 32)

a call for diligence and patience in nurturing the word of God in our hearts, waiting as He says with longsuffering, for the tree to bring forth fruit unto you

when will these burdens be lifted? well the answer is by and by and whether that be a short period or a long one – it is not always hours

by the grace of God the blessings will come to those who hold fast to the gospel of Jesus Christ

those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength and shall Mount up with wings of Eagles they shall run and not be weary they shall walk and not faint

Russelll M. Nelson

the Lord wants you to feel we live in a glorious age foreseen by prophets for centuries. this is the dispensation when no spiritual blessing will be

the Lord would have us look forward to the future with joyful anticipation

let us not spin our wheels in the memories of yesterday the gathering of Israel moves forward

The Lord Jesus Christ directs the affairs of His church and it will achieve its divine objectives.

the challenge is to make certain that each of us will achieve his or her divine potential

turn your heart mind and soul increasingly to our Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ, let that be your new normal

daily seek to be increasingly pure in thought, word, and deed; minister to others; keep an eternal perspective; magnify your callings

whatever your challenges live each day so that you are more prepared to meet your maker

Tarawa, Kiribati; Port Vila Vanatu; Lindon, Utah; Greater Guatemala City, Guatemala; Sao Paulo East, Brazil; Santa Cruz Bolivia

as we build and maintain these temples we pray that each of you will build and maintain yourself so you can be worthy to enter the holy temple

I bless you to be filled with the peace of the Lord Jesus Christ. His peace is beyond all mortal understanding. I bless you with an increased desire and ability to obey the laws of God. I promise that as you do you will be showered with blessings including greater courage, increased personal revelation, sweet harmony in your homes

 God Be With You till We Meet Again

[geminioriginalsimagines]

Crush

Requests: “Please!!! I am begging you, darling best writer in the whole of Tumblrverse. Write a smut based on that gif where Kai licks his lips and has blood on his face and used magic to pull someone closer. Cause Holy Crap!!!! That was a TOTAL Turn on...” “any kai smuts on the way???? and also umm can you do a smut based off kai with like his coat cause he looks like a god with coats or even jackets on (:” (Credits to gif owners! Because DAMN) Warning! Visual smut ahead! Also very long!

"I have to say that there's been a record. Mystic Falls hasn't had any trouble with The Grill in like two months." Y/N zipped by her co-workers who were cooking an extremely large order. She couldn't help but look over a chef's shoulder and watch what they were preparing. "Is that for a party? Or a family?" She couldn't help but wonder aloud. The cook turned his head with a laugh to follow. He explained that it was all for one person. "Damn." Was all she replied with.

Y/N worked hard as a waitress. And she loved it. "All for table five? I'll need all ten of you guys to carry it back there." She rolled her eyes. Whatever, as long as the customer was happy and they were all getting paid it wasn't a problem. The order might be large, but Y/N started carrying trays back.

What was strange was that the new guy, who was put on host and waiter duty, never showed up in the kitchen to help or to return with more orders. The dining room was a little too quiet for Y/N's liking. Maybe he screwed something-

From the kitchen doors, Y/N could see that her new co-worker was clearly killed and in the hands of a tall stranger. Her eyes were large, her throat told her to scream. But nothing other than her heavy breathing escaped her enlarged nostrils. The man was wiping blood off of his face...her co-worker's blood and he was licking it off of his fingers.

Y/N was noticed, when he turned his face toward her she wanted so badly to run the other way, back into the kitchen and find something to defend herself. Other than the stranger, the dining room was empty. She also found herself with another problem, her hand was shaking so much that the tray of food fell at her feet. The beer glasses split and liquid was all over the floor. Boy was that going to be a sticky mess she'd have to clean up depending on her near death.

Her mouth dropped open, the rather handsome stranger with smeared blood on his face turned himself toward her with a bit of a sadistic grin. When he spoke, she could swear it was a rumble of thunder. "Mmm, aren't you so afraid?" He fixed the messy sleeve over his wrist and wiped the rest of the blood off of his face, sticking his wet fingers into his mouth and humming. "He was a little bland."

Y/N couldn't even muster a 'holy shit' but she had to admit in her overactive mind that he was rather attractive and whatever he was trying to do was working on her. This shouldn't be attractive. She wasn't like this. All she wanted was to get paid and get through college, not in this situation at work. "That nagging voice in my head says not to hurt you. But my stomach says too. I'm just so hungry and upset." His lips jutted out, he was pouting. And boy was he good at it. "I was hoping you'd taste a lot better."

Y/N's throat burned so much, something came out. "P-please don't hurt me." Her head wagged back and forth, she wanted so badly to just run by the man and never see him again. Then she realized he took a step closer but there was still the space of the whole room between them.

"Oh doll, I have a better idea." There was that sadistic grin again. The one that made her heart flip and it shouldn't. She shouldn't think this was attractive but she couldn't deny it. In her own twisted way, there she was unable to move because she was scared and curious. "Why don't you come here? Come to me, Sweetheart." He spoke lowly. Low with a hint of a growl. One that bad her gut develop an anchor to it.

But she refused. She wagged her head hesitantly back and forth. The man raised his brows and then tilted his head to the side. "I'll give you one more chance before I make you. Now let's try again. Come here." He spoke slow, longing. But she wagged her head back and forth. He was someone her parents told her to stay away from as a child. She wasn't going to give into him with her co-worker's corpse on the floor. Not at all actually. This man didn't need to get his way.

The stranger took another step forward and raised his hand. Y/N wasn't sure what he was doing. Was he going to try and hit her? "Motus." He growled. She started floating across the room to him, her feet couldn't stop her. Nothing could stop the fact she was in motion because this man was beckoning her to him. She started to panic, but everything was cut short when she was facing his large hand.

It was decorated with two rather shiny and large rings. There were a few seconds of silence before her mind was filled with his scent. His musk mixed with a hint of a dominating cologne that she couldn't put her finger on. He was intoxicating and the cologne added to the fire in her lungs and throat. So she decided to look away from his harsh gaze to his hand that was still raised. "You are very disobedient." He commented. His other hand rose to his chin, pulling her gaze to his again. He looked harsh but he also had the most beautiful eyes she had ever saw in her life.

"Who am I to judge though?" In mere seconds his harsh gaze turned into something happy. He was laughing and showing off those perfect teeth he kept hidden. His brows were raised and his smile was so wide his eyes turned to slits. Was he a mad man? The answer was yes. Her gut told her yes. "Mmm." He hummed and then contained his laughter. "You won't make me feel bad if I scare you."

She cringed. Y/N actually cringed, she wanted far away from him yet he was drawing her in. "Do all females look at me the way you do?" This was a more intimate moment, he was getting closer and closer. His breath smelled like spearmint. Oh boy was he perfect. When Y/N didn't answer he was clearly annoyed but he answered for her. "You're supposed to say duh."

All Y/N could do was swallow the lump in her throat. "L-let me go please." That wasn't as confident as she liked. Now he'd never take her seriously. Now both of his hands cupped her cheeks. Her skin was on fire and he took her breath away. The cool metal rings took a bit of the sting away, but that didn't ease the anchor in her stomach.

"To kill you or not to kill you? I need a list of pros and cons. But my oh my, you have no idea what's going on. It wouldn't be fair to you if I had you choose without knowing now would it-" There was an interruption from the door. Y/N was relieved, so relieved she could pass out. Someone had come to her rescue.

It was yet another very young man who nodded toward the door. "You can leave. I'll take care of him." Boy did Y/N run as fast as her little legs could carry her. Running made the fire in her throat rise higher than before. But at least she was heading for the safety of her home.

She saw him again...at The Grill. After it closed, he was there again. From the doorway he was waving, it was rather flirty which made her co-workers wonder if she was seeing somebody. "Is he here for you? You didn't tell us you were seeing someone." One of the cooks leaned over her shoulder. Y/N could feel the lump in her throat again. What did he want with her? Their first encounter was over a week ago.

Why now? "I'm not seeing anybody. He was here about a week ago. Uh...you can go home. I'll finish closing and get rid of him." She offered her co-worker. So they accepted the offer and untied their apron from their waist and hung it on a rack in the back. Y/N could only pray the stranger didn't hurt her friend as he tried to leave. But she let out a sigh of relief when the man stepped aside and let the cook leave without any harm.

Y/N tried focusing on scrubbing the counter-top. People had spilled drinks throughout the day and dropped food. It was just a mess. "Is there any way I can help?" Her hand suffocated the wet cloth and when she got startled, the stranger laughed. "I want to place an order." He took a seat on one of the stools. Y/N started backing away with the wet cloth as her only defense. "Except I don't want food. I want you."

There she went again, wagging her head back and forth, aggravating him. "You really are a scared little thing aren't you?" He tapped his fingers against the counter-top. Y/N watched carefully as he poured salt packets onto the counter.

"H-hey!" She started to stop him but he only laughed and looked up through his eyelashes with that grin on his face. He raised that same hand that had magically called her over to him, and now it was...making the salt float? Each grain was dancing around his fingers. Y/N wiped her eyes and blinked but it didn't work. She wasn't seeing things.

"At least hear me out, beautiful." His nickname for her made her swallow. "I always get what I want. I want you. Its weird, I can't stop thinking about you. Ever since I was dealt with last week. I realized I was a little much." No kidding. "But that doesn't mean I'm sorry for it. I've never been so curious about a human before." He rambled. "That's a little weird right?"

For once Y/N agreed with him. "Except its normal for me. I debated on tracking you down. I had some of your hair..." He started chuckling. "Wrapped around my finger, literally, from when I touched you. I was going to do a simple locator spell and follow you around. But there's this pair of brothers that thought that would frighten such an innocent girl." Boy did he talk alot. "But now I know where you work. I can catch you here whenever I please." The salt fell into a crumpled pile under his hands.

The stranger reached over the counter, into her apron and pulled the pen out of the pocket with that stupid grin on his face. Without taking his eyes off of her, he reached into the napkin dispenser and started writing something on it. He caught his bottom lip between his teeth to hold back a smile and then pushed the napkin across the counter to her. Y/N collected the thin fabric in her shaky hand. 'Kai' was written at the top along with a phone number.

"Text me, or hey better yet call me. Hold on, sometimes I don't know how to go about this. You have a Twitter?" Why was he so casual? "Cobrakai1972. Live tweets and all. I know lots of girls these days like a man who's handy with his Twitter." His left eye closed in a very seductive wink as he pushed himself up and off of the stool. "If you're curious enough its your call." He was inviting her. And boy was she debating on calling the number in her hand. Kai, his name had a ring to it. Kai...Kai-she kept repeating it in her head.

"You probably have a crush on her." Was all Damon said without glancing over at the Heretic twiddling his thumbs. "And showing her magic..." Damon shook his head before taking in his drink. "Not a good idea. But I won't hold it against you considering I killed you and you didn't live long enough as a mutt to know."

Kai glanced over through his lashes and watched the vampire continue drinking. "She's...perfect. I gave her my number and I'm on edge. Every time my phone makes a noise I hope its her but its Twitter notifications from fifteen year old girls." He wiped a hand through his hair.

"Granted you did scare her, Parker. You're lucky Stefan was there to save your ass last week otherwise you would have hurt the girl you're crushing on." Damon tsked and wagged his finger. "As for the fifteen year old girls, I'm just going to be honest here and tell you you're not the ugliest guy I've ever seen. I'm only being nice to you so I can make Elena happy when she wakes up. You remember that when you remember my compliment."

"Got it." Kai steepled his fingers under his chin. Damon noticed the Heretic was glancing nervously at his phone. "Damn it. You know I was just going to feed on her." He laughed. "And here I am stalking her at work because I can't even stand to see her interact with a customer." His raked another hand through his hair. "What's wrong with me?"

Damon sat in the chair across from Kai and tapped his chin. "It would be easier to find out what's right with you. And that's a very short list. With two bullet points." Damon sat back and played with the glass in his hand. "But as for what's wrong with you...its more like a grocery list. The basics, eggs, milk, bread. Water-" Kai glanced at him. "My point is that you've got...some sort of basics. Give her some time. Stop trying to scare her. Don't be...you."

"What do you mean?"

"You...you're too forward all the time. Most girls don't like somebody who just shows up at work and plays with salt on the table and randomly hands her his number. Or showing up and killing a co-worker or two and then dragging her across the room with magic. No, Kai you have to wait till you get her hooked first and then you get comfortable. Then you start with the magic or being confident." Damon crossed his leg over his knee. "Civil. Yeah...be civil."

Kai rested his hand under his chin and started digging deep. "I should start over? Introduce myself? Ask for her name?"

"Her name is Y/N. You're welcome. Drink there all the time with Ric. There's only one problem to your plan here though." Damon hissed. "She's Ric's niece."

Kai surprised Damon when he face-palmed himself. "Great. Just great. Damn it."

"There's always a chance though, Parker." Why was Damon even feeling so positive today? "If you make her happy, Ric might accept it."

"Make her happy?"

"That doesn't mean you keep harassing her at work. That means show up with flowers. Or ask her to see a movie. Get to know each other. Show her you aren't the creepy guy that keep showing up at The Grill. Tell her you're sorry, that you want to start over-" But Kai wasn't even listening.

"I'll go see her tomorrow." Damon was now the one to face-palm. Had he taught Kai nothing?

The Grill had been sort of lonely for the past few days. Some of Y/N's co-workers who she really enjoyed were sick. And Y/N's mind drifted back to Kai. She hadn't seen him in a while either. Her lunch break consisted of eating food that one of the cooks made her, and sipping on her Coke while scrolling through her phone.

Her mind wandered to the contact list. After Kai had given her his number, she had been debating all week whether or not to call. So she made him a contact in her phone. There she was staring at the call button again. But a voice from behind her made her jump and lock her phone quickly. "Y/N, I figured it was your lunch break." It was only her uncle.

"Hey, Uncle Ric." She waved and finished the last few bites of her sandwich. "I was about to get back to work in a few minutes."

Her uncle took a seat across from her and grabbed her hands. "Look I just have to talk to you about something. Because you're my only niece. Which makes you my favorite niece. And I'm concerned for you." Y/N furrowed her brows and took a sip of her drink. "Word gets around here. A guy named Kai coming around to see you?" Her heart fluttered at his name. It made her straighten her back.

"Yeah, he's...weird. What about it?" Her uncle squeezed her hands and pursed his lips together. "What's wrong?"

"I want you to stay away from him, Y/N. I have a rough past with him and he's got...problems. Just promise me you'll stay away from him?" How could she say no to her sweet uncle? Her only favorite uncle?

Y/N nodded. "Of course." But she didn't dare tell her uncle she put two and two together. She knew exactly who Kai was, from research and sneaking into her uncle's office, reading journal entries. From watching Kai use 'magic' to kill a man in cold blood. He was a Heretic, a sociopath, a psycho. The list continued with some rather foul names coming from her uncle after that.

Her uncle pushed himself away from the table and kissed her forehead. "This is why I love you, Y/N. So be good. I love you."

"Love you too." Her face was red when she looked over at the door and Kai was there. He waved, his seductive grin on his lips. Y/N looked around, her uncle had used the back door. So he didn't have to pass Kai.

Kai couldn't hide the fact that he wanted nothing more than to pull her close and try her out for a while. But he didn't. He watched her clean her table and throw away her trash. Customers approached her, young guys touching her elbow or ordering their food from her. It made his chest burn. Was he jealous? Was that the word to use? That she was his, he wanted nobody else to even look at her?

"You're ignoring me now?" Y/N sort of felt bad. But she knew her uncle meant well and she didn't blame him for wanting her to stay away from Kai. Who knew what he could do to her? Kai's voice was soft, distant, upset. "What did I do?"

"N-nothing. I'm just working." She wiped down the counter before him again. "Nothing's wrong. Just think its best to stay away from each other. I've been keeping what I've seen you do from so many people and you're dangerous. So if you don't hurt me, I won't tell anybody."

Kai's face dropped some. "Y/N if I wanted to hurt you I would have already." Who had gotten a hold of her? Why wasn't she looking at him? The way he said her name gave her goosebumps. "Y/N?"

"Its nothing, Kai. I'm working and I have customers to get to. So if you're ordering something then do it and your food will be out in a second." But Kai was silent, sadness written in his face. His lips pursed together. Little did she know he was trying to ask her out, but he didn't do it fast enough. She brushed by him with her pen and notepad in hand and left him raking his fingers through his hair.

Y/N had just finished brushing her hair and teeth, put on her pajamas and started un-tucking her freshly made bed. She pulled the blanket back and started to climb in. A tap on her window called her attention. "What in the world." She sighed and headed for the window. There was another knock, it was louder this time. She fixed her shirt before opening the window and jumping back two feet, with a loud scream to follow.

Kai jumped as well, almost falling off of her windowsill. She held her chest to recover from her heart attack. "Jesus Kai what are you doing here? How do you know where I live?" He was dangerous, she had to remember that. She had to remember he could come through the window and strangle her if she wasn't careful.

"I watched you when you left The Grill. You make me curious."

Y/N swallowed the lump in her throat. "You shouldn't be here. My uncle could be home any minute."

"I know your uncle. Ric, yeah great guy. Just wants me dead. Long story." Kai focused on not falling off of the sill he was perched on. "If you could invite me inside, that's be great. Don't act surprised either. I know you put two and two together very well, and so could I."

She was taken aback. "Get in here." She grabbed his arm before he fell. Except he fell backward into her window and tumbled to the floor. He was a little shaky on his legs when he pushed himself up but he recovered.

"Piece of advice, be careful who you invite in." He helped her lock her window.

"Noted."

They sat in silence for a while until Y/N headed for the T.V. across the room and turned it on. Kai was sort of confused. "Why so loud?" He raised his voice over the volume of the T.V.

Y/N spun around and grinned a little bit. It was a major character change for Kai to comprehend. "My uncle's coming home anytime now. Do you really think I haven't been thinking about you either?"

Kai was starting to catch on. "Well let's see if you're still as disobedient as before." He called to her with his curling index finger. But she stood on the tips of her toes and wagged her head. "Motus." His hand went up, pulling her right to him.

She stared up at him with her index finger in her mouth. Kai bit his bottom lip and then swiped his tongue across it. That same hand he performed his spell on was now shoving her backward onto her bed.

He stood above her, shrugging his pitch black jacket off of his shoulders. The one that Y/N had saw him in the other day at The Grill after her uncle left. The one that made her want to ride him all day. He folded it with a knowing smirk on his face. And then he tossed it to the end of her bed.

"You are a very lucky girl Y/N." He crawled between her legs. "Do you have an idea why?"

Y/N bit her lip and shook her head. "Why is that?"

"Because I'm feeling good today." Y/N raised her brows. "I feel like a decent person. Decent enough to show you the best time." He trailed his fingers across her lips.

"Is that so? I'd like to say that I'm not so lucky." She pouted.

"Hmm?" He focused in on her mouth.

"You look a lot more attractive with blood on your face. See I think you've ruined me. I'm not a person that likes blood. But when I saw you the night we met, I can't help but think about it." She stuck her index finger in his mouth. He was so close to her, their noses were almost touching. He was intoxicating.

And his breath smelled like mint, her favorite scent. Kai responded, sucking on her finger, swiping his tongue around it. The lust he felt for the girl multiplied by a hundred. "Do it." She whispered. She encouraged him to bite her finger. "I know what you are. Don't hide it from me." She had to curl her legs around his waist, to hold onto him. Kai debated it, but he wasn't that strong enough to say no.

He closed his eyes, he let the monster he was consume him. A network of patterns spiraled across his face, they made Y/N gasp but they turned her on no doubt. His eyes were dark when he opened them. Almost as dark as the jacket he threw at the end of the bed. Y/N huffed, encouraging her finger to trace the daggers just under his lip. "Please." It was soft and intimate. The madman who she was crushing on was about to bite her.

Kai bit down, slowly and just enough to break the skin. He suckled the blood off of the tip of her finger. Y/N held the cry that was aching to be released. She didn't expect it to feel as sore as it did. He was a predator, it was supposed to hurt. He released her finger, Y/N traced his lips, smearing the blood around his lip. "I'll make you my evil queen. How does that sound?"

"I don't even know why I like the sound of it. But I really like it." What was he doing to her? Tainting her mind. She worked at tracing his cheek, just where she saw the bloodstains of her co-worker two weeks ago. She bit her lip, he was her work of art. He licked his lips while his intense stare held her captive. Oh he was such a bad influence.

"I think you're finding yourself." He whispered. The same tooth that dug into her finger now pricked his lip, making it bleed. The blood dripped down his lip and onto his chin. "Clock's ticking if you wanna get rid of that pin prick I gave you." He grinned.

He wanted her to drink his blood? Kai noticed how hesitant she was and kissed her anyway. The copper taste between them seemed to connect them. The uncomfortable ache in her wounded finger seemed to dull away. The blood smeared against his lips and cheek made him look dominant, crazy. And Y/N wasn't aware that she was into the psycho types. (The reader is all of us lmao.)

Kai moaned, the sound rumbled from his chest where Y/N rested her hand. Her other hand played with the hairs on the back of his neck. His hands started pushing her shirt up, higher and higher. "You've got nothing on underneath." He quietly groaned in her ear. He sucked at her chin, her jaw, her earlobe. She allowed him to push the shirt up and over her head.

She was so perfect it made Kai's whole body ache. His lips closed around one of her nipples, pulling and teasing, swiping his tongue across it. "Two weeks does a lot to a man." He grumbled, tracing his tongue down her stomach. "I escaped hell-" He laughed. "And here I am in pursuit of a girl I had no idea existed." Mmm, Y/N loved when he lowered his voice.

"Oh?" She moaned. Kai rubbed his hands down her chest, his ring catching on her hardened nipple. She reached for Kai's hair, that perfect dark hair. She completely messed it up, the way it was put up with a little curl at the end of the strand. "Bummer."

"What do you mean?" He looked up from working his tongue against her stomach.

"I messed up your hair. Bummer for me." Kai grinned and pushed his lips against her soft flesh.

"Mmm, I don't mind. Mess it up for me." He groaned.

Y/N tilted her head back, her eyes closed. Focusing in on the feeling of his soft tongue caressing her. When she looked down, she noticed Kai pushing that one strand of hair off of his forehead. "No keep it. I love your hair."

Kai bit his lip to hide his smile. "Bonus." He crawled back up her body, reaching between them and pushing her shorts down her legs. "Something tells me that your sudden interest in blood compelled you to choose your new underwear." He teased the front of them, pressing into her clit. "Bonus times two." He grinned and leaned in, rubbing his nose against hers.

He started working his way down her stomach, but Y/N pulled him back. "I like nipple play better." Kai furrowed his brows but couldn't hide the smile on his face. That beautiful, wide smile that made her forget he was a madman.

"Damn, jackpot." He wrapped her legs around his waist. She aided him in pushing his hips into hers. His lips pulled at her nipples, taking turns, going back and forth. When she touched the collar of his shirt, his body ignited. The excitement that collected in his stomach fueled the fire in his pants. The way she held his face, or gently touched the back of his neck. Goosebumps formed on his body where he never even felt them before.

He cried out some when Y/N ran her nails roughly through his hair. Moaning when he suckled a good spot. The way her hips met with his...Kai looked up and took a deep breath before kissing her. He needed air but the other half of his body needed her. He had no idea why she was so special, but his monster craved her.

When she reached between their bodies and unbuckled his belt and pushed his pants down, he knew he was on fire. She was glowing and he was on fire. What set him off even more was when she pushed her panties to the side and called him closer with her index finger. "If you're going to do it, do it now."

He just couldn't, the evil part of him that had escaped Hell told him to do it. While the other part of him...the part of little humanity he died with told him to enjoy the moment more. But he had to respond to the devil. So he did it, he connected them roughly. Grasping her face and sucking at her neck.

Her gentle fingers reached for the collar of his shirt again, pulling him closer. Her moans all she could release. She stared up at him in awe. He was poison, she wasn't. Yes he injected everything he had to offer and corrupted her brain. Everything her uncle told her, she was started to forget. Kai wasn't so bad, he was poison, but he was the good kind. The kind she was into.

He was the bad boy, the one nobody liked. And that made her crave his poison even more. Y/N could tell he was fighting to keep control. But she didn't want control. Her fingers traced the dried blood on his lips and over his cheeks, moaning as she did so. Her hair splayed across her pillow, her hands running over his back.

Kai almost stopped her from unbuttoning his shirt. But when she gave him that look, the one that made him crumble, he gave in and helped her brush the thin material over his shoulders. Y/N didn't know where to explore next. Kai was a predator, a killing machine made out of pure muscle. Her back arched into him as he worked at pushing his pants down the rest of the length of his legs.

His mouth grabbed a hold of her right nipple, her hands raking through his hair. Soft and gentle in contrast to the rough speed he was being encouraged to move at.

His arms kept her encased in a blanket of his warmth. It was rather addicting. She couldn't get enough of how he smelled. Musky, he smelled natural with a hint of a spicy cologne. She tilted her head back, wrapped her legs around his waist and let him have her.

Their position was intimate. She was his now, she didn't think Kai was ever going to let her live this down. She didn't want to. His lips attacked her neck, claiming her with large purple marks that she'd have to hide from her uncle. Kai couldn't help himself. He believed there was a goddess under him. And that if he let her go she'd just disappear. Two weeks craving one person made the rest of his life difficult.

Y/N swore up and down, grumbling words in Kai's ear. He was having her and he couldn't believe it. "Y/N-" He whispered against her throat. Her hands encouraged him, gently stroking the back of his neck and then moving to his strong, hard shoulders.

Kai knew she was close. Anticipating her orgasm made him close, picturing her under him. Sweaty and out of breath. Chanting his name. Y/N held his chin, kissing away the blood stains lovingly. This was going to trigger his new leaf. This was when Kai felt he could be better. That he wanted to be better but he'd tell nobody else.

"Kai, Kai-" She chanted with large eyes. Knowing eyes. She knew she was about to come undone. So she prepared herself, locking her legs tighter around his waist and arching her back into him. Kai took her lips in his, grumbling against her and then sucking her into a dirty, needy kiss. Her hand connected with his jaw as he made her cum, her eyes closing and holding onto his shoulder.

Kai wrapped his arms around her, nipping her bottom lip in hopes to subdue how he felt. But he finished with her. His control was scarce, he rarely had none which was why he was surprised he had made it this far with her. He closed his eyes and held onto her.

"Kai-" She whispered, hoarse and tired. Kai pushed himself off of her on shaky arms. "I needed that." She rolled over onto her stomach, hugging her pillow. She was acting like a girl who had just found love. Kai thought it was strange. But even he had to admit she was glowing. Kai helped her fix her panties and found his briefs on the floor, pulling them up his legs. "What are you doing?"

Y/N watched him cover her with the jacket he came to her in. It was warm, soft, it smelled like him. That musky smell that drove her insane. "Are you leaving?" She sounded hurt.

"No." He answered shortly. "I don't leave after. It doesn't add to the effect now, does it?" His grin returned and he took his place next to her under the covers. They faced each other, staring. Y/N fixed the jacket, pulling her arms through it and cuddling with it.

Kai's arms were open, he was available. Y/N took her chance and pressed herself against him, letting him hold her. He wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on top of her head.

"Y/N I brought home some-" Their attention was directed up to her uncle. Ric had a look of horror plastered across his face. He pursed his lips together. "I-I thought I told you to stay away from him?"

Y/N pushed herself out of Kai's arms and sat up, wrapping the jacket around her body. "I can explain. Its a really long story."

"I'd kick him out but he's...he's aggressive...and a psycho-" Ric looked like he had seen a ghost.

Y/N glanced over her shoulder at Kai who was waving at her uncle. "He wasn't aggressive a few minutes ago." Her face turned red. Ric ran a hand through his hair.

"Did he hurt you? Are there any marks?"

"No, of course not."

"Oh boy, I failed you as an uncle. You're...he could have killed you Y/N!"

"Could have." Kai licked his lips. "If I wanted her dead she would be." Ric looked like he could cry. Kai lifted his arms, resting them behind his head. "Its all good over here. More than good."

There was a moment of silence before Ric closed the door. "He's mad at me." Y/N lay herself across Kai's chest. "And this shouldn't be okay. I shouldn't feel okay with this."

"Mmm, yeah but doesn't it feel good to be a rebel kid for once?" She had to admit. It felt exhilarating.

So I found the imagines !!!! On my PC so I’m going to re upload them!

[maevefiction]

Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 15

I was seated at the end of a chair grouping outside gate four in terminal two of the airport, luggage screened and checked. The six AM flight had departed without me, and the one PM flight would be leaving from here so it had seemed as good a place as any to wait. It was ten-thirty AM and I was on my fourth Starbucks Caffe Vanilla Frappuccino. I never drank coffee because it made me a jittery mess, but since I was already a jittery mess I figured why the fuck not. At least I’d be a conscious jittery mess this way.

The chairs were brutally uncomfortable, and the fluorescent lighting flickered from time to time, or it appeared to. It could have been from sleep deprivation and anxiety, I supposed. But it didn’t seem to matter much. Nothing did. All I wanted to do was disappear into the void and not have to face any aspect of my reality. Too bad it was never that simple. Not for me, anyway.

I tried to take a nap when I learned there would be no seats available on the six AM flight, but every time I nodded off either Tom’s words or my mother’s face would pop uninvited into my head and jar me awake. Focusing enough to read online or off was impossible, and any song I played on my iPod upset me for some stupid reason. Walking around worked for a while, carryon in tow, moving from place to place, sucking down my Frappuccino and visiting the bathroom every half hour, until I noticed airport security watching me. That’s how I wound up here, sitting down, staring at the walls, reading the signs over and over again and not comprehending a single thing they said. The people walking by were like ghosts, each living a life completely outside of my realm. They smiled, they hugged, and they laughed while I sat waiting to board a jet that would take me somewhere I’d never wanted to be again, where I’d have to gaze upon the lifeless body of a woman I’d never wanted to see again.

And then there was…Tom. I was incredibly angry at myself for growing so attached so quickly, for letting him in. I knew better. But I did it anyway, because…there was that feeling. That this was the person. My person. It was all so fast, but it had felt right. And whether I liked it or not, I loved him. He deserved a chance to explain himself, certainly, but I wasn’t sure I was capable of giving it to him. Some of the things he’d said cut very deeply, and by my own admission forgiveness wasn’t a thing that came easily to me. Yes, he’d been drunk. But that’s the thing about words…once they’re said, you can never take them back. Your state of mind when you speak them is essentially irrelevant if they’re heard and they hurt.

Yet in spite of what had transpired, I missed him terribly already. I wanted him right next to me, warm, present, here. I felt…halved. Alone. And lonely. There had to be an underlying issue that caused him to behave in such a fashion, didn’t there? Or, perhaps the man I saw last night was the real Tom, and the one I’d spent the past two weeks with and thought I’d known was simply proof positive that he was just a better actor than anyone could have ever imagined.

More than anything else, I felt stupid. Stupid for thinking that love at first sight could actually happen, and even stupider for thinking it could happen to me. I was not meant for this. No matter how far I thought I’d come, I would never be more than this broken thing on the inside, a thing that couldn’t even earn the love of its own mother, no matter hard it tried.

My phone rang, and I nearly jumped out of my skin, instantly ejected from my introspection. I thumbed to unlock the screen. It was Tom. Heart pounding, disgusted with myself when I realized that I wanted nothing more than to pick it up, say hello and make everything better, I flung it down on the seat next to me as if I’d been burned.

Four minutes later, the voicemail alert chimed. Staring down at it, I began rubbing my temples and had a lengthy back and forth with myself as to whether or not I should listen to it.

“Eh, fuck it. Let’s see what he has to say. At this stage of the game, I don’t think there’s anything that could make me feel worse than I already do.”  

I clicked, held the phone up to my ear and listened. His voice was several octaves higher than normal, his speech wavering between halting and rambling and filled with anxious panic, reminiscent of a child who’s just realized he’s lost and alone in a strange, unfamiliar place.

“Maude? I…it’s…I don’t know…I slept through my alarm and it’s after ten and we were supposed to be on a plane already but I woke up and you’re gone and all of your things are gone…” He choked back a sob. “And I don’t remember anything from last night after you called me…” Another sob. “I…Maude…what I said…I’m so sorry…I was just…I thought you…didn’t want to…be with me…” He was openly weeping now as he spoke, addressing himself more so than me. “I’m not…I…how did I even get back here? I don’t know…what happened? What did…did…I do? My god, what did I do that made you leave without me?” An agonized, muffled cry, as if from behind a hand-covered mouth. “Where are you, Maude? Why aren’t you here? Please call me. Please. Please.” Another cry, gasping this time, then silence.

My stomach heaved, and this time there was no holding back. I ran for the closest restroom but only made it as far as the garbage can around the corner. I vomited up all four Frappuccinos, then continued to retch long after there was nothing left to be brought forth. I leaned on the rim, face still hovering over the can, until I heard a voice behind me. It was airport security.

“Ma’am? Ma’am? Are you okay? Do you need medical assistance?”

I wiped my mouth with my forearm as I pushed myself into a standing position, shaking like a Chihuahua and wishing I could make myself invisible.

“No, I’m fine. Thanks. Sorry about that. Coffee and I don’t get along very well, apparently. Now I remember why I switched to tea.” I tried to smile, but it just wasn’t happening. He handed me some paper towels.

“Ma’am, if you need to use the restroom I’d be happy to keep an eye on your bag for you.”

I nodded and handed him my carryon but kept my messenger bag. “Thank you so much.”

My reflection in the mirror was gaunt, the dark circles under my eyes highlighted by yesterday’s makeup, which I had forgotten to remove. I looked like I’d been out all night partying, eyeliner smeared, mascara clumped and flaking. I rested my hands on the counter and leaned in closer to my reflection.

“Well, how do you feel, you fucking dumbass? What’s that? You feel….WORSE?” I barked out a laugh, then turned on the tap and rinsed my mouth out by cupping water in my hands, then ran my index finger over my teeth in a crude attempt at brushing. There was toothpaste in my carryon, but there was no way in hell I was going back out for it right now.

Next I washed my face as best I could with the paper ‘towels’ from the dispenser. There was nothing towel-like about them, and my eyes were red as fire after I scrubbed off the makeup, contacts all askew until I blinked repeatedly to get them back where they belonged. I wet two more towels with super cold water, then held them on my eyes for a few minutes. Most of the redness had faded, and I took out my braid and put my hair in a ponytail.

“Better, Maude. Hopefully the dude won’t want to haul you in because he suspects you’re a vagrant. Or a prostitute. Or a drug dealer. Or a terrorist. Or a vagrant, drug dealing, prostituting terrorist.”

He was guarding my bag, as promised, and handed me my phone as I approached him.

“Ma’am, you dropped this. It looks like it’s fine, though.”

I managed to fake a smile this time. “Thanks again. I really appreciate it. Crazy day, you know? I’m on standby for three flights trying to get to New Orleans for my mother’s funeral. Well, two, now. The first one didn’t work out. The next one leaves from this gate…it’s okay if I wait here until I find out if I’ll be on it, right?” I pulled up my confirmations on the phone, grabbed my ID out of my messenger bag and showed them to him.

He nodded. “Sure thing, ma’am. Take care.”

“Thanks.” I sank down in the chair, crushed under the weight of my emotions, feuding with the compulsion to not only call him, but to get in a cab and rush back to the hotel so I could comfort him and alleviate his pain in spite of that which he had caused me.

My phone rang again, and I decided that if it was Tom again I’d pick up. It wasn’t. The screen flashed at me…’Lestat calling’. It was Anne. Good. I needed a healthy dose of anger to get my sad-sack ass back on track. Because bitches get shit done. I hit the answer button.

“Maude, honey, how are you doing? I figured I’d call to check…”

“I’d be doing infinitely better if you hadn’t given the hospice my phone number, that’s for fucking sure.”

She clucked her tongue at me, which made me grip the phone so tightly that my knuckles turned white. “Kiddo, there was no one else to handle all that needed to…”

“Oh, I’m aware of that NOW. Did you know she was divorced this entire time?”

She hesitated. “Maude, listen…”

“You did, you fucking DID. And you never bothered to tell me.”

A sigh escaped her. “You never wanted me to talk about her.”

“Oh, right…like that ever stopped you from going right ahead doing it anyway.”

“In hindsight, perhaps I should have mentioned it.”

“Ya think?” I inhaled deeply, aware that if I continued being so loud I’d be receiving another visit from airport security. “Are you going to tell me what happened between them or do I have to wait until I get there and be blindsided with it by a total stranger?”

“He left her. For an eighteen year old. Who was a senior in high school. They’ve since married and have three children.”

After letting it sink in for a few moments, I began chuckling softly, which quickly evolved into raucous laughter. Unable to regain my composure, I tried to speak through it. “Oh, Anne. You most certainly should have mentioned it. That’s…” I wiped a tear from my eye. “It’s…it’s…fucking hilarious.”  

��Maude, please, she just passed away. And it hurt her terribly when it happened. How could you possibly think it’s amusing?”

My laughter ceased and was replaced with fury. “The same way you could have possibly thought I’d give even the remotest shit if she was alive or dead, Anne. That’s how. And because you, sanctimonious Christian Samaritan that you are, wanted to ensure that she was sent off to your fairytale afterlife properly I’m stuck being the stupid fuck who’s responsible for it all. You know the whole story, Anne. Every bit of it. You mean to tell me you can’t understand why I’d take pleasure in learning that karma finally caught up with her? Seriously? Well, at least now I get why you never told me. If you’ll excuse me, I’m kind of having a massively shitty day here and I need to go.”

As I hit the end call button, I realized my hands were shaking wildly and I felt lightheaded, and that I hadn’t eaten since dinner last night. I hefted my bags over my shoulder and looked at the airport dining map on my phone. Einstein Brothers Bagels sounded promising, and after waiting in line for a shockingly brief five minutes my food was ready. I sat at a table, sucking down a thirty-two ounce Coke while starring down my bacon, egg and cheddar sandwich. I wasn’t at all hungry, but passing out in the airport sounded like it might be a hassle so I forced myself to eat it, trying not to gag as I did so. It was almost eleven-thirty when I finally finished, and I walked back to my spot. My phone dinged. It was a text from Simon.

Are you okay? – S

I had no idea if he knew anything, and if he did, what it was. I hadn’t mentioned a thing to anyone other than Tom via email as to what was going on.

Why wouldn’t I be? – M

Tom called us. – S

Well, then you know that ‘are you okay’ is, like, a totally loaded question. – M

Are you still at the airport? – S

Yeah. First standby was a bust, should know about the second one any minute now. I may or may not have puked in a garbage can earlier and I think airport security may have flagged me as a vagrant, drug dealing, prostituting terrorist. – M

Good to see you still have your sense of humor. – S

Sarcasm is my secret coping mechanism. When the humor goes, you’ll know things are really in the shitter, my friend. How much did he tell you? – M

Too much, like he always does. I’m sorry about your mother. – S

Don’t be. I’m not. – M

Marry me, woman. – S

Seriously, though. How are you holding up? – S

I’m sort of…not? But I don’t want to talk about any of it, just so you know. I need to deal with dead mother first, then I can try to sort out the rest. – M

You know I hear that, sister. Mothers. Bring you screaming into the world, and then they do their best to make sure you keep screaming. And screaming. – S

*virtual high five* - M

If you need me, honey, any time, I’m here, K? – S

Thanks. Love you. – M

Love you too. – S

Shaking my head, I wondered how Luke was handling all this and remembered my assurance that no matter what happened between Tom and me personally, the work would continue as specified and in a professional manner. I frowned as I took my tablet out of my bag and powered it up, checking to see if Tom had done what I’d asked. Everything was posted exactly as I’d specified. The sight of his countenance made my stomach queasy again, and I leaned my head back to let it rest on the wall behind me as I stared at the ceiling and attempted to convince my breakfast to stay put. As soon as the feeling passed, I put my tablet away and texted Luke.

Everything’s still on track for me being in London on the 20th, and I’ll be working wherever I am between now and then. If you need something, have questions, whatever, let me know.  – M

His response was immediate.

I don’t want you giving anything work related a moment of thought right now. Do what you need to do back home, and take your time doing it, all right? If there’s anything I can do to help in some way, let me know. – L

I sighed.

Thank you. Though I can’t help but work…I need the distraction. – M

I’m the same way. We’re here if you need us. – XO L & S

The PA system clicked on and I heard a woman’s voice say my name. “Maude Gallagher, please report to the check in desk. Maude Gallagher, please report to the check in desk. Thank you.”

Got called to check in…maybe this flight is a go. Thanks again, both of you. – XO M

As I made my way to the desk, the initial excitement at the prospect of getting the fuck out of San Diego faded and was replaced with panic as the grim reality of what was waiting for me in New Orleans began to settle in. There were three stations open, and I chose the one with two people in line ahead of me. When my turn came, I presented my ID to the clerk, a blonde woman in her late twenties, if I had to guess. Her hair was pulled back into a bun, and her makeup was perfection…just enough color to make her features stand out, but barely noticeable. And a lip color shade that wasn’t more than a decade old, too. I had the sudden urge to begin reading Vogue and Glamour again, then snickered to myself when I realized I could look up anything and everything beauty related online but had never bothered to do so.

She smiled at me, teeth blindingly white. “May I help you?”

“I was notified via the PA system to report to the check in desk…Maude Gallagher? I’m on standby for two more flights today so I assume you have news for me?”

Her eyes roamed over my ID and her face flushed. “Ms. Gallagher. Right. Follow me, please.” She stepped out from behind the counter and over to her left, into a small alcove at the start of the hallway to the security offices. The first thing I noticed was my luggage piled up against the wall.

I gently grabbed her shoulder. “Wait, why is my…”

And then I noticed that there was someone standing next to my luggage. My brain froze, my heart stopped and my arm slipped from the clerk’s shoulder and fell back to my side. He was wearing his black sweatshirt, hood up, with jeans and those filthy white Vans. Sunglasses hid his eyes from me, and I was torn between wanting to embrace him or punch him in his pretty fucking face.

Seven steps closed the distance between us, and I reminded myself that we were in public and that it was Comic-Con weekend and he was very recognizable, so I’d best try to not make a scene.

I snarled, and my voice came forth in a hiss. “Why the fuck are you here? And what are you doing with my luggage?”

He removed the shades, and his eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, tearing up as he tried to meet my gaze. “Maude…I…I know that I’m the last person you want to see right now…”

“Um, no, you aren’t the last. Second to last, probably. Either way, I sure as shit have zero desire to look at you, yet here you are.”

He swallowed and wiped away a tear that had carved out a path through the stubble on his cheek. “I’m so, so sorry. But I had to come. It couldn’t let you sit here waiting and waiting to go do what you have to do when I’ve found a way to get you where you need to be, on time.”

I rolled my eyes as I crossed my arms, subconsciously protecting myself. “Thomas, there are no flights out of here other than my two stand-bys, so unless you have a magic carpet or your own private jet…oh, fuck ME. A charter. Don’t tell me you chartered a fucking jet. Why didn’t I think of that? What a fucking moron I am…I could have been there already.” I put my hand on my forehead, looked down and gazed at a crack in the tile floor.

He reached out to touch my arm, and I yanked it away, glaring at him. His bottom lip quivered, and he inhaled sharply as he tried to rein in his emotions.

“Yes. I chartered a flight. It will depart from Landmark Aviation whenever you’re ready to leave. There’s a car waiting outside.”

As mortifying as it was, desperation easily won out over my anger, and I knew that even if I’d had to sell my soul, if I possessed such a thing, there was no way I was passing this up. The sooner I got to New Orleans, the sooner it would all be finished. Finally finished. I could close the chapter once and for all and move on, though I was now much less sure of what I’d be moving on to than I was twenty-four hours ago. I unstacked my luggage, situated the handles and prepared to head out. “Don’t think for one second that I’m letting you pay for this…I don’t need your fucking charity.”

“Maude, it’s already taken care of, and please, it’s not chari…”

“Fuck you. Email me a bill and I’ll send you a check. Where’s the car?” He tried to take the bags from me. “No. I can schlep around my own shit. I’m not fucking helpless. Speaking of, how did you get your hands on these, anyway? They told me they’d stay checked and go out on the direct flight at four PM and be waiting for me at Louis Armstrong even if I wasn’t on board.”

He put his hands in his pockets and began walking to the main doors, head down. “One of the clerks is a fan. She pulled some strings.”

I didn’t reply, instead dropping back so I could follow his lead. He held the door for me, which I permitted, and walked down to the waiting limousine. I shook my head as the driver leapt out of the car to open the door, then gathered my belongings and placed them in the trunk. As I buckled in, the door opposite me opened and Tom climbed in. My jaw clenched as I turned to him.

“What are you doing?”

“Coming with you.”

“To the airfield?”

“Yes. And then to New Orleans. Because regardless of anything that’s happened between us, you shouldn’t have to do this alone.”

My eyes narrowed. “I shouldn’t have to do this at all, and if Anne hadn’t given the hospice my number I wouldn’t be.”

He frowned and shook his head. “Why wouldn’t they already have your information? Did you not know she was ill?”

“Yes. I knew. Anne told me almost two weeks ago.”

His brow furrowed, and it was obvious to me where this was going to end up.

I sighed. “Yes, Tom. I knew she was dying. And I didn’t go see her. And guess what else? I still don’t want to fucking see her.”

His eyes widened, shocked at my statement and disgusted by my coldness. “But Maude, she’s your mother.”

I could feel my face contort into something ugly, something horrible, twisted with pain. “She may have given birth to me, but she was never my mother, and she’s already been dead to me for a very long time.”

He gasped softly, but said nothing. I stared straight ahead and remained that way for the eight minutes it took us to reach Landmark Aviation. The driver opened my door, then Tom’s, and another employee arrived with a cart for our luggage, which they whisked off to the waiting Learjet 35A. The office area was open plan, two floors with a modern design and floor to ceiling windows. I sat in the waiting area while Tom completed all the paperwork, joining him only when the clerk requested my presence so he could obtain all the required identification information. He walked us to the jet, where we were greeted by the pilot who advised it would take approximately four hours to reach New Orleans. I climbed the stairs into the cabin, which consisted of seven seats in dark brown leather. Two chairs faced each other, two were in the rear across from a bench seat, and another bench seat was up front beside the facing chairs. There was a refreshment area with a mini-fridge and microwave, as well as a bathroom. I walked all the way to the back and strapped myself into one of the bench seats, my messenger bag next to me to prevent Tom from sitting near me. I needn’t have worried, as he sat up front with his back towards me.

Our takeoff was perfection, and the pilot announced that we could unbuckle ourselves and move freely about the cabin shortly thereafter. I undid my seat belt but stayed where I was. Tom blew his nose, got up, walked back to where I was and knelt in front of me. He’d taken off his hoodie, his well-worn blue V-neck nearly see-through in the harsh interior lighting. It was obvious that he’d been crying, his eyes bloodshot and still damp.

“It was very, very wrong of me to pass judgement on you like that. Especially after…” He closed his eyes briefly. “It’s just…my mother and I are so close…but I should know better than to assume that everyone is so fortunate. If yours was ill enough to be in hospice and you didn’t want to see her then and don’t want to now, you must have good reason for feeling as you do.”

I turned away from him. He shifted so he was in my line of sight again.

“If you don’t want to be with me any longer after this…” He swallowed. “I…I’ll understand. I won’t want to accept it, but it’s my fault and I’ll do whatever you wish me to do because I love you. But please, let me help you through this. Don’t shut me out.”

I met his gaze, my heart full of ice and my head full of sorrow. “Oh, sure, right. Because letting you in has worked out so well for me.”

He broke down then, right in front of me, placing his hands over his face as he tried to stifle his sobs. He wept until he retched, then got up and went to the lavatory. I heard him vomit several times, and he finally emerged fifteen minutes later and returned to his chair at the front of the cabin. Great, puking all around today. This love stuff is the best.

As I stared at the back of his seat, it crossed my mind that he might be just as broken and lost as I was, and I needed him to know why I was. Right now, even if it was too late to make a difference. I rose and walked up front, then slowly lowered myself into the chair across from him and attempted to put it all into words.

I spoke softly, emotionless. “Tom, we fell into this so very fast, and neither of us reached the point of revealing all we’ve been through. We’re both intelligent enough to know that what happens in someone’s past affects them in the present, no matter how hard they try to deny or avoid it. If you really want to be with me through this, there are things you need to know in order to fully understand me, so you don’t think I’m a monster for not seeing my…mother…when she was dying in hospice, and to help you decide if you want to remain in this relationship.”

He looked at me, a faint smile on his lips at the mention of there still being a relationship to remain in.

“Don’t take that the wrong way…I should have phrased it differently.” His face fell. “I’m not certain where we stand, because I don’t know what I want to do about what occurred last night. But, from an emotional vantage point, I’m one hundred percent certain that I’m incapable of dealing with it at the moment. What I do know is I that can’t let you be a part of this if you’re still completely unaware of everything that…happened. For now, I just want to say my piece and for you to listen. Is that all right with you?”

He nodded.

I leaned back in the chair and began, hands shaking as I tried to keep my voice evenly modulated.

“My parents met in February of 1977, in a pub in Dalkey, Ireland, my father’s hometown. His name was Sean, and he was born in Dublin but grew up in Dalkey. His family wasn’t flat broke, but they were far from what you’d consider middle class and he was bartending at the pub to make ends meet. He was nineteen. My mother, Mary Clarke, was born and raised in Manchester, England. Her father was a prominent solicitor, her mother distantly related to the royal family. Or so she claimed. Either way, they were quite wealthy and had a summer cottage in Dalkey. She was eighteen years old, engaged to an Earl who was in his last year at Oxford University, and due to be married in May of that year. Her and her girlfriends decided to take their last holiday as singles over Valentine’s weekend, staying until the following Sunday. She was Protestant, my father was Catholic, and she felt inspired to sow her wild oats with what she considered to be a ‘bad boy’. He fell madly in love with her after their week together, and she left him high and dry and went back to Manchester. Two months later, she discovered she was pregnant, which was problematic as she had yet to sleep with her fiancé. The engagement was called off, her family publicly disgraced, and her father sent her packing to Dalkey and forced her to marry my father lest she be completely disinherited. They married and immigrated to the states, my maternal grandfather having used his connections to find him a position with Exxon, working on an oil rig off the coast of New Orleans.”

I paused, and Tom reached over to the mini-fridge and handed me a bottle of water, which I cracked open and drank greedily.

“Thanks. She hated New Orleans, but her narcissistic personality disorder made her want to not only fit in, but stand out. Her father paid for the trip over and got them set up in a two bedroom apartment, but after that he cut her off completely. Even more than New Orleans itself, she hated being ‘poor’ in New Orleans. She often spent all the funds designated for bills on clothes, which meant my father was never around, because in addition to his week-long shifts he worked overtime on the weekends to make up for her expenditures. She desperately wanted to live in the Garden District, but settled for being a big fish in a little pond, working her magic to impress the women who resided near our apartment building, even adopting a southern accent so she could pretend to be native to the area. When I came early on Halloween, she was thrilled that she’d had a little girl and began habitually dressing me up and showing me off to all her new friends, but that didn’t last long. One of the first things I remember is her combing my hair roughly as she tried using some smelly product to straighten it, telling me she wished it was red like my father’s and straight like hers, instead of this dingy brown bird’s nest of unattractive curls. I couldn’t have been more than three.”

I swallowed, hard. “I wasn’t what she expected, I guess. Puberty began early for me, when I was around eight or so, and I put on some weight, as most girls do. She made fun of me in front of anyone willing to listen, called me fat, forced me to diet and exercise, and told me that she was disappointed I’d turned out to be so ugly, that I embarrassed her and made her look like a terrible mother.”

He cringed, and I saw his hand reach for me, then retract.

“By that time, my father had moved up the ladder at Exxon and was on his way to being an executive, so he was home with us most evenings and weekends instead of being out on the rigs. She’d always been a drinker, but mainly socially. His being around so much seemed to trigger something in her, and just like that, we were living with a full-blown alcoholic. Every day began with a swig from the bottle of vodka she kept on her nightstand, and I rarely saw her without a drink in her hand. She’d rage around the house at all hours, coming into my room in the middle of the night to scream at me for something I’d done that had offended her in some way, sometimes dragging me out of bed to rectify whatever mistake she thought I’d made. My father would try to reason with her, but she’d threaten to divorce him and he’d back off and leave her to her own devices. She was the love of his life, and he would have done anything to keep her. We wound up being asked to leave our apartment building because of all the complaints from the neighbors, and my father found a single family home for us to rent in an attempt to cover it all up. That’s just what people did then, I guess. Keeping up appearances, hiding the truth.”

I got up from my chair. “Sorry, need to use the bathroom.”

After peeing and washing my hands, I splashed some water on my face but refrained from looking in the mirror, afraid of what I’d see staring back at me. He was pacing when I came out, but sat down again as I did.

“In 1988, my maternal grandfather died and my mother inherited a sizable sum of money. She lost herself in the process of buying and remodeling our home in the Garden District and the drinking diminished significantly…at least until she realized that no matter how expensive her clothes were or that we had a live-in housekeeper and a French chef, the women of the neighborhood who’d been there for generations would never accept her as one of their own. When Anne met my father at a Sunday service, my mother suddenly wanted to convert to Catholicism, hoping ties with one of the area’s most famous residents would improve her standing. She changed her mind when she found out that Anne was sober and had no qualms about pushing those around her to live the same lifestyle. The drinking escalated again, and by the time I was thirteen I was spending every moment possible at the New Orleans Public Library, or at Anne’s, or wherever else I could go that wasn’t home.”

Tom offered me another water, which I accepted. I’d been trying to avoid his gaze, but his hand grazed mine as he handed me the bottle and our eyes locked. We stared at each other briefly, then quickly looked away.

“School was a blessing for me in many ways, in spite of the fact that I was teased and bullied frequently. I was smart, weird, and chubby…not exactly a winning combination. By the time I entered high school, I started to come into my own and stand up for myself amongst my peers, but at home I was still meek, always walking on eggshells. If I got a ninety-nine on a test, she wanted to know why it wasn’t a hundred. If I got an A, why wasn’t it an A+? Nothing I did was good enough. Ever. No matter how hard I tried, there was no pleasing her. I started hiding out in my room after I conned our chef into helping me put a slide bolt on the inside of the door. That was my sanctuary, where I read, I drew, I danced, and I sang. For my sixteenth birthday I asked for a computer instead of a car, and it changed my life. I tore it apart and put it back together again, learned everything about it, inside and out. It became my passion, and knowing that I could do something that not many others could was such a powerful feeling. The real turning point came at the start my senior year when I was awarded the full scholarship to NYIT. She was adamant that no daughter of hers was going to go away to school in New York City and study such a stupid subject that was meant for men. It was the first time I lost my shit on her, and the first time that my father backed me up. She refused to contribute any money, so he sold some of his Exxon stock and bought me an apartment in Manhattan so I wouldn’t have to stay in a dorm. Or, I should say, my apartment. Because I still live in it. Sometimes.”

I smiled sadly, remembering how proud he’d been of me, and so happy that he’d been able to help me on the path to making my own way in the world. “College was…amazing. I was away from my mother, spending every day learning in the company of people who were like…me. I put on my ‘freshman fifteen’ and then some, but no one cared. We were all nerds, and what was inside was far more intriguing than what was on the outside. I met Erik Lund in my Comp Sci I class, and over the course of the first semester we became very good friends, taking in all that New York had to offer when we weren’t delving into the wonder that was the World Wide Web. It was 1995, and the hacking scene was exploding…god, we had so much fun trying to crack codes and get in through back doors, even if all we wound up finding was someone’s resume. It was if a new world had been created, one that belonged solely to us. Over Christmas break, I came to the stunning realization that I’d developed feelings for him, and when class was back in session he confessed that he felt the same way. We fell in love, a little bit at a time. I invited him back to New Orleans for spring break, and he couldn’t wait to see where I’d grown up. I guess I’d pushed all thoughts of my mother out of my mind, forgetting what she was capable of. From the moment he walked into the house she began criticizing everything about him. He was stocky, his hairline already receding, and, like me, he didn’t really give a remote shit about what he wore. And I thought everything about him was…beautiful. Right in front of him, she told me that even an ugly fat girl like me could do better. We left immediately and spent the rest of the week in my apartment in the city, slept together for the first time, and he officially moved in three weeks later. I took a summer class so I wouldn’t have to go home, but I’d agreed to be a bridesmaid for a close high school friend who was getting married over Labor Day weekend, so I had to fly back for the wedding. I wanted Erik to come with me, but my mother would be in attendance and I didn’t want to subject him to her insanity again, so he went back home to upstate New York to spend time with his family instead.”

I could feel my heart starting to race, and I closed my eyes and bit my lip, trying to calm myself down.

“I got a phone call the day after the wedding from one of Erik’s friends. He’d been killed in a car accident the night before, hit by a drunk driver doing eighty miles an hour in a forty-five mile an hour zone who crossed over the middle line.”

My mind took me back to that moment, how I’d said no, that can’t be right, it must be a mistake, how I’d fallen to the floor as the truth sank in, wishing I’d died with him. And later, how my mother had smirked when I told her the news.  

“I flew to New York for his funeral, and two weeks later I found out I was pregnant. My mother tried to convince me to have an abortion, but I refused. It was the last thing that remained of him, a living piece of himself he’d left behind for me. His legacy. I decided to quit school, stay in New Orleans and raise the baby on my own. A few days later, I miscarried.”

Tom sniffled, and I looked up to see tears flowing, his hands gripping the armrests as he fought to stay in his seat. I wanted him to hold me, more than anything else. But I just…couldn’t.

“My heart was broken. I felt like there was no point to anything anymore, and that’s when I started drinking. First, I snuck booze from my mother’s stash. Then I had a fake ID made and started going out to bars every night, staying past close and staggering home to sleep the day away. I wasn’t eating, so I lost a ton of weight. My mother made it a point to compliment me on how thin I’d gotten. During Mardi Gras of 1997, I met Will Bonaventura. He had long, dark curly hair, dark brown eyes…Spanish creole, going back three generations. I was drunk and singing karaoke, and after he heard me he asked me if I wanted to sing with his band. He played lead guitar, and I figured it was a great excuse to party. You know, ‘hey, I’m not a drunk, I’m an artist’. I moved into his shitty apartment and continued my binging. That’s really all we had in common…partying. That and music. One weekend we decided to drive to Las Vegas for a Battle of the Bands, and I drank so much I blacked out and woke up with a ring on my finger and a photo of us with the Elvis impersonator who’d married us. He said he remembered everything that had happened, that I said I’d loved him, but it was all…blank…for me. Once we got back to New Orleans and he met my family the abuse started. Just verbal initially, constantly belittling me, accusing me of cheating, calling me a slut, telling me he was going to find someone better. My solution was to drink more. I started when I opened my eyes and didn’t stop until they closed. Time just passed, and I…slipped away. More than a year had gone by when he finally hit me. It was early in the morning so I wasn’t totally blotto yet, and got in his face after he started his shit and told him that usually people who accuse their partners of cheating are the ones who are being unfaithful, and he punched me in the face and called me a worthless whore.”

I watched Tom’s grip tighten, and thought he was going to rip the armrest right off the chair.

“I hit him in the head with a rum bottle, and he left for a few days. He never touched me again, for any reason. A month or two later, my father came over to the apartment. He told me I needed to stop drinking, that I had my whole life ahead of me and that he didn’t want me to wind up like my mother, that I needed to get away from her and New Orleans, that I was brilliant and I had to go out and make my life mean something. He apologized for letting his love for my mother blind him for all those years as to how much she hurt me. We embraced, and he was gone as quickly as he’d come. The next morning Anne called me to tell me that he’d killed himself. My mother found him in his study. He’d shot himself in the head with a revolver.”

Tom opened his mouth and started to speak, but I held up my hand to silence him. I was almost there, almost done.

“I haven’t taken another drink since that day. After the funeral, Will was nowhere to be found. My father had left me all of his remaining Exxon stock, which of course pissed my mother off to no end, and I decided to cash it in and move back to New York a week after we buried him. I already had a place to live rent free, and I wouldn’t need to worry about money for a while. I packed up what I wanted to bring with me, which didn’t even fill an entire suitcase, and headed over to what was now my mother’s house to confront her about being such an evil cunt my entire life before I left. When I got there, the door was unlocked, so I went inside. I could hear her moaning and screaming and chanting ‘oh god yes, yes, harder, harder’ and it was like someone flipped a switch and I saw red. I ran up the marble staircase and could see that the door to their…her bedroom was open and as I got closer I yelled ‘He hasn’t even been dead for two weeks and you’re already fucking someone else you enormous piece of shit?!’. When I stepped into the room, there was Will, naked and on top of her. He rolled off, grinned at me, and she said in her stupid fucking fake southern accent ‘Actually, we’ve been fucking for months already. See, Maude, that’s the thing about women like you. Sure, y’all might manage to get yourself a man, and hell, he might even stick around for a little while, but you’ll never be able to hang on to him. They’ll always leave you the second they find someone prettier. And thinner. Always.’. That was the last thing she ever said to me. I left town, and I found out from Anne that she’d told my father she was having an affair, was in love with Will and wanted a divorce, which is why he killed himself…he’d mailed his suicide note to Anne because he knew if he left it at the house, my mother would have made it disappear. I filed for divorce immediately, and as soon as it was final two months later, in August of 1998, Will married my mother. I didn’t know it until last night, but they divorced in 2007, which is why I’m the only remaining next of kin.”

I took a deep breath. “I guess the thing that sticks out most is that I have not a single memory of her touching me, holding me, or telling me that she loved me, unless someone else was watching. I was just a pawn for her, an object, just another thing to use to get what she wanted. And when that didn’t work any longer, she focused all of her anger on me, blaming me for everything that had gone wrong in her life, and what she then wanted more than anything else was to see me fail. Over and over again.”

I raised my hands, palms up. “So, there you have it. That’s who I am, what I am. The progeny of a narcissistic alcoholic and her love blinded enabler who’s already been pregnant, married and divorced. Used goods, broken down, badly damaged, always waiting to be replaced. Reasonably acceptable for fucking, but thoroughly unsuitable for an actual relationship.”

As I stood, he leapt up from his chair and tried to embrace me. I shook my head, put my hands on his chest and pushed him away gently, then went to sit back on the bench. He sat back down, head in his hands, sobbing again. I took out my iPod, put in my earbuds, cranked up the volume and leaned my head on the window. I stared blankly out at the sky, my self-imposed isolation the only thing preventing me from losing control of myself and falling apart. Which I refused to do. Because it was the only thing I had left to hold onto.

********************************** There was darkness, and I felt arms reach around me, hands on my lower back and below, fumbling, searching. They found what they were looking for, and I felt something slide along my back and then up around my waist. A strong scent hit my nostrils, one I recognized but couldn’t place. I inhaled again. Tom. A click from down near my belly button. I tried to open my eyes, but the lids were just too heavy. Then, the feel of something soft and warm being pulled up over me as I drifted away.

A loud voice saying ‘We’re now approaching MSY, landing in ten.’ jarred me fully awake, my eyes flying open. I was unsure of where I was for a brief span, but then everything came flooding back at once. I looked around in a panic. A pillow had been placed between my head and the window, and a blanket covered everything but my feet. I pushed it off me, then glanced to my right and saw my iPod and earbuds resting next to my messenger bag, along with a bag of Lindor truffles. Then my eyes found Tom, seated in the chair across from me. As I studied his face, his shirt, his hands, his knees, all of him, a cyclone of emotions overwhelmed me and I realized that I was no longer numb.

The left corner of his mouth turned up in a sad half-smile. “Hope you don’t mind that I took your headphones out and gave you a pillow and blanket. You fell asleep almost immediately, and I figured you needed the rest and didn’t want the music to awaken you, or for you to wind up with a stiff neck, or be cold. And I apologize for touching you without your permission when I buckled you in…the pilot announced…”

And just like that, I saw him again. Tom. He knew everything, and he still cared for me.  

I shook my head, interrupting him. “It’s all fine. Thank you.” I pointed at the blanket and pillow. “For these.” Then at the truffles. “For those.” Then waved my hands and ran my gaze around the cockpit. “And this.” My eyes met his. “And for wanting to be here. And for listening.” I pointed at the truffles again. “But especially for those.”

He laughed softly, and I smiled, then bit my lower lip.

“Tom, how did you know I’d still be at the airport?”

He shook his head. “I didn’t.”

“What was your plan if I hadn’t been there?”

He leaned forward, hands on his knees. “Take the jet myself and wait for you to arrive at Louis Armstrong.”

“I might not have gotten there for another day. Or two.”

“I had no intentions of ever leaving that airport without you by my side.”

What I wanted to do, what I needed to do about last night became abundantly clear to me.

“Did you book a room yet?”

He looked down briefly, then back up at me, face red. “Yes. At the Prytania Park Hotel. I chose a double queen, in case you preferred to not sleep with…to have your own bed. They’re separate, one on the main floor and the other up a spiral staircase so you’ll have…”

I interrupted him again. “How about a car?”

“Yes. A rental. I won’t know what make and model until we get there.”

“Thanks for taking care of it all. After we land, I’d like to go directly to Passages Hospice and get…that…over with. Once we’re checked in to the hotel, there’s something I want you to do.”

His jaw twitched, then he nodded. “Anything.”

“I want you to tell me why. Why you reacted the way you did after we ran into Norman. Why you got so drunk. Why you said those things to me. And, most importantly, I want you to tell me why it is that your life became so dark.”

He paled, folded himself in half, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. After a few moments he sat up and ran his hands through his hair, then began touching his neck. He was breathing through his mouth, fear in his eyes.

“Maude. I…I..” He shook his head. “I’m afraid if I tell you, I may lose you.”

I put my hand on his knee, and he looked frantically back and forth from my hand to my face, shocked at my touch.

“Thomas, you’re definitely going to lose me if you don’t tell me.”

As the jet touched down I removed my hand. He was looking down, eyes darting to and fro. The cabin door opened, the steps lowered. I unbuckled my seat belt, put my iPod and the truffles in my messenger bag, then headed for the door. Tom followed.

As I stepped outside, the oppressive humidity and smells of the city washed over me, drowning me in memories. I proceeded down the stairs, and as my feet made contact with the tarmac it hit me that I was…back. In the place I’d vowed to never be again. The place that had taken from me so much more than anyone should ever have to give. The place where I’d lost everything. I could feel the panic rising, and as I lifted my hand to place it on my chest in an attempt to calm down, Tom took it in his. I stared straight ahead as our fingers intertwined, then stepped forward as he squeezed gently. I squeezed back, and we slowly made our way toward the gates, the pilot pulling our luggage on a cart behind us.

[chaoticneutralwriter]

Herbology 101 | m.yg

Granted, this isn’t the worst thing he’s making you do.

firewitch!yoongi/suga

genre: fluff, comedy and Harry Potter eat your heart out.

word count: 1.7k

A/N: back by popular demands, your adventures with firewitch!yoongi/suga continues.

In relation to this.

It’s settled.

 You have never felt more uncomfortable in your life until now.

 In fact, you think the word uncomfortable is an understatement to what you’re currently feeling right now. It’s so bad that your body is literally refusing to function and you’re left to sit there as if frozen in time.

 “If that’s your impression of a garden gnome then you’re doing a pretty good job.”

 Your eyes dart over to the gruff voice halfway across the greenhouse and if looks could kill, you would bury him ten feet under the ground by now. You’re about to retort with a snide comment but immediately stop when a buzzing noise whizz by too close to your ear. The force of your flinch nearly knocks you off your stool as you, instead, let out a squeal of fear.

 The corner of Yoongi’s lips twitch into a smirk as he watches you catch yourself and proceed to curl up completely on the seat, hands clutching onto the spray bottle in a death grip.

��“Careful, I thought I told you to keep watch so they won’t try to sneak up on you.” He remarks off-handedly, going back to the task at hand.

 “I am! Blame those other…. things flying around! Don’t you guys have pest control?!”

 “Y/N….” The slight worried change in his tone causes you to put a halt to your bantering and focus your attention to Yoongi who’s eyeing a mass of branches and vines warily. If it weren’t for the given circumstances, you would’ve ignored it because they’re just a bunch of plants. But no, you’re in Harry Potter world and these vines and branches are much more sprightly than they really should be.

 “Yah!” You shout before promptly aiming the spray bottle at it’s large body mass. Whatever substance that comes out of it is enough to catch the plant creature’s attention because it whips around to face you, hissing and mouth agape in a poise ready to take a chunk out of you. You don’t hesitate to spray the bottle again, right into it’s open mouth full of sharp thorns and it jerks back almost instantly with another angry hiss. Thankfully, it thinks fighting you isn’t worth it because it retreats completely, slithering away to the outer perimeters of the greenhouse, away from you and Yoongi for now.

 “Thank you~” Yoongi’s singsong voice is too cheery for a near life-death experience. Your shoulders are still hunched and stiff as your eyes whip back to the witch who’s casually inspecting granite coloured stones the size of pebbles.

 “…What did I get myself into…” You groan out to yourself, feeling an on-coming headache. 

 “You made a deal with a witch and now you owe the witch a favour.” said witch supplies for you nonchalantly.

 You glare at him. “It’s a rhetorical question.” You snip before continuing, “And following you around for an hour as your pack mule, carrying God knows what and occasionally paying for them myself doesn’t count as a favour? I went through a brick wall for you and now you’re making me fend off extremely poisonous plant monsters!”

 “Stop whining, you brought this upon yourself.” Yoongi replies as he begins to sort through the pebbles. “Making you go through a brick wall is not the worst thing I can make you do. And,” He adds in quickly just to cut you off from bringing up the massive poisonous plant creature lurking in the greenhouse around you again. “The Venomous Hydra Hedera only gets moody when its ripe with seedlings, which makes getting them a chore and admittedly even dangerous to get on your own, but the bad ones—“

 He holds up one of the pebbles that’s completely black in colour, “Are key ingredients to a lot of potions.” If it still wasn’t for the fact that he’s forcing you to be in the same room as said poisonous plant, you would’ve thought that his little impromptu trivia was cute. You can clearly see the delight shining in his eyes when he finds one or two of those bad ‘seedlings’ from the batch he’s sorting through.

 “So that’s why you designated me, very unqualified normal human being, to be your literal weed killer.” You deadpan.

 “They’re not weeds and you’re not killing them but yes if that’s what your human mind wants to compare it to.” Yoongi sighs as he hauls a case full of soil with the ‘good’ seedlings nestled in it and places them under a heating lamp on a shelf. “But you’re not dead yet are you? Like I said, as long as you did exactly as I say, it’s all good.”

 You scoff, uncurling yourself off the stool and stepping down carefully onto the floor. You’re still on high alert, spray bottle at the ready as you eye the pulsating mass of vines and greenery that seems to be lurking anywhere and everywhere you look.

 “Are we done here? Can I go home?” You almost plead once you’ve reached within arms length of the witch. Yoongi turns to you with a mild look of confusion. “It’s almost 4AM and I don’t know if witches get tired but lowly humans like me do okay?”

 That makes him look down at his watch and lets out a noncommittal, “Ah.” He takes the spray bottle from you and you’d just about die from joy, taking it as a sign that yes he’s letting you go.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

….What?

“I— ….What?” You manage to blubber out. Yoongi blinks before nodding his head as if what he just said wasn’t bizarre at all.

“I said, I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“N-No no I heard what you said but why? Did I not fulfill my end of the deal?"

“....Ah.” He says in realization, before giving you a wry smile. “Wow you actually thought this was ‘fulfilling your deal’, that’s cute.”

You’re only left to stand there, mouth hanging open in disbelief and astonishment. “What do you mean by that?!”

“Well, when you summoned me, you basically made a blood contract in the process.” Yoongi explains casually as he strides off towards the exit of the greenhouse. You, having no other choice, follow after him as you take in his words and connect the dots. Pricking your finger….

“And since you said so yourself that I get to decide whatever I see fit in terms of fulfilling your end of the deal would be,” He continues, stopping in front of the door but you don’t have to hear him say the rest to know where he’s going with it and it makes you think that maybe it would’ve been better if you’d let that venomous whatever-it’s-called plant eat you when you had the chance. Either Yoongi doesn’t sense that you already know of your imminent demise or he’s having an absolute hoot at making you suffer, he says the words you’re dreading to hear anyways.

 “I’ve decided on eternal servitude.”

 You want to scream and shout and more importantly, wipe that smug ass grin off his pretty face. You can’t believe this; you’re basically his slave. He gets to boss you around and tell you to do whatever crazy shit he has planned just so that you don’t get turned into a frog! …. You know what, even that sounded a lot better than eternal servitude.

 You’re just about to express as much when you see the witch’s face turn stony. It was a split second observation on your part and before you can really ask him what was wrong, you hear a distinct hissing. It happened so fast that you’re left winded and dazed by the end of the whole ordeal.

 See, what happened was your brain registered the hissing sound as the poisonous plant monster you’ve been dealing with for the past hour or so, which your brain then equates to as, ‘danger! you should probably move.’ Only problem was was that your body was too slow to catch up to the warning (you blame the fatigue). 

 Luckily for you, a certain witch had been attentive enough to spot the slithering mass of vines long before it decided to strike. So it was very easy for him to pull you out of harms way and at the same time, dispense whatever substance was in the spray bottle to halt the venomous plant from causing either one of you harm. With its surprise attack foiled, the python-like plant gives one last irritated hiss before turning away, disappearing among the other foliage and greenery.

 “Really should get rid of a head or two on that one…. “ Yoongi’s voice comes off as a rumble against your ear and it’s only then that you notice just how strangely warmer one side of your body is (and smells really nice). A furtive glance upwards confirms that ‘out of harms way’ just so happens to be uncomfortably close to Yoongi’s side. He’s staring down at you in return, eyebrows raised and perplexed.

 You jump out of his hold so quickly you nearly stumble over your feet. Now everything feels too hot and stifling and the fact that you’re still in a greenhouse doesn’t help. You’re thankful when Yoongi opens the door, letting the much cooler air seep in but you know it does nothing to quell the heat still lingering on your cheeks.

 “So, see you tomorrow then?” He repeats, holding the door for you. He doesn’t make to comment on what happened or the state of your flushed face. He doesn’t have to because one look and you can already see the amusement dancing in his eyes and you already know that he knows what answer you’re going to give him; he’s just teasing at this point. 

 So in a last ditch effort to not giving him the satisfaction, you turn away with a huff and stomp off, not bothering to reply at all. Unfortunately for you, Yoongi doesn’t leave your mind even well after you’ve arrived home and buried in the comforts of your bed.

 You can already picture his smug smile even without him being there, which only succeeds at making you more irritated because damn it he still got the last laugh. 

 He irritates you to no end; from his emotionless, deadpan gaze to the smug grin he has and not to mention how you swear he takes great pleasure in making you suffer.

 Which makes it all the more shocking when you find yourself lulling off to sleep by the scent of cinnamon, spices, and burnt out candles.

Plant Lyfe.

[allthemslogans]

Army slogans or taglines help if you need to come up with a better slogan for the army of your country.

It has taken me a while to see what the “United States Army” really means. This had more to do with my own ignorance of the U.S. military system — I’m in some ways in my late 30s, after all — than an emotional commitment to the idea of armed force as the ultimate guarantor of peace and stability. But now, I’m coming around, mostly because of this: we’re at war, in Iraq and Afghanistan, and it’s becoming obvious that it’s not clear what we’re fighting for. And that’s alarming, because for a long time the argument for war has been pretty shaky.

But let’s not discuss that here.

What we would rather look into is the fact that armies around the world can make or break the countries they serve for.

And to make any country’s army stronger, you need the citizens to fully support the army and contribute to it but being a part of it.

If that is the case, you can make use of army slogans or taglines that encourage people to become part of your army.

Listed below are some of the slogans or taglines of armies around the world that you can get ideas from, including new slogans or taglines that you can modify and make use of.

Let’s get started.

Note: These slogans are generated by our free slogan generator that uses AI and Machine Learning. Even though we've trained our model to provide you with the best slogans, you may still find some that do not sound perfect.

List of Army Slogans or Taglines for Your Business:

Following are some of the best army slogans or taglines to make use of.

A cavalryman’s horse should be smarter than he is But the horse must never be allowed to know this

A safe army is better than a safe border

An Army of One

An army of principles can penetrate where an army of soldiers cannot

Army Strong

Be All You Can Be

Brave men rejoice in adversity, just as brave soldiers triumph in war

Death is lighter than a feather Duty is heavy as a mountain

Discipline is the soul of an Army

Do not forget that the armed forces are the servants of the people

Do not swallow bait offered by the enemy Do not interfere with an army that is returning home

Get behind the girl he left behind, join the land Army

He will win whose army is animated by the same spirit throughout all its ranks

I am not afraid of an Army of lions lead by a sheep; I am afraid of sheep lead by a lion

I can’t expect loyalty from the army if I do not give it

I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends

I feel an army in my fist

I Want YOU for US Army

If I charge, follow me If I retreat, kill me If I die, revenge me

I’m not a leader now I’m a whole damn army

It is fatal to enter a war without the will to win it

Lead me, follow me, or get the hell out of my way

Live for something rather than die for nothing

Look Sharp, Be Sharp, Go Army!

Neither the Army nor the Navy is of any protection, or very little protection, against aerial raids

Never tell people how to do things

None but an armed nation can dispense with a standing army

Quartered in snow, silent to remain When the bugle calls, they shall rise and march again

Service with Pride

Skill and confidence are an unconquered army

Sleep peacefully at your homes, the Army is guarding the frontiers

Soldiers generally win battles; generals get credit for them

Ten soldiers lead wisely will beat a hundred without a head

The army consists of the first infantry division and eight million replacements

The Army is the true nobility of our country

The army teaches boys to think like men

The conventional army loses if it does not win The guerrilla wins if he does not lose

The dead shall rise to become an army amongst themselves

The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph

The only easy day was yesterday

The soldier is the Army No Army is better than its soldiers

The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity

This is the army! Nobody can do the best they can

Those who stand for nothing fall for anything

To defend a country you need an army, but to defend a civilization you need education

To find us, you must be good To catch us you must be fast But to beat us��� you must be kidding

Today’s Army Wants to Join You

Victory usually goes to the army who has better-trained officers and men

War is life multiplied by some number that no one has ever heard of

We live by chance, we love by choice, we kill by profession

Stop. Go. ARMY.

ARMY perfection at its finest

Oh my god it’s Army

Mamma Mia That’s a Spicy ARMY!

Award-winning ARMY

That’s Handy Harry! Stick It In The ARMY

Problem? The Solution: ARMY

ARMYrific

I wish I was Army

ARMY is the best forget the rest!

ARMY is a winner!

It’s the ARMY You Can See

Don’t Say Brown Say ‘ARMY’

You don’t want ARMY as your enemy!

Snap into Army!

Way to go ARMY!

ARMY – The Freshmaker!

Nobody does it like ARMY

ARMY is the best!

ARMY you’ll love it!

Worldclass ARMY!

ARMYized!!

Happiness is ARMY-Shaped

ARMY for you!

ARMY – now!

There’s only one true ARMY!

ARMY – play it!

ARMY – see the light!

ARMY – a class of its own

ARMY – a safe place in an unsafe world!

ARMY makes you sexy!

Start the day with ARMY

ARMY – Yabba Dabba Duh!

ARMY – go for it!

ARMY – as good as it gets!

ARMY the best you can get!

ARMY – it’s like heaven!

ARMY – to feel free!

Simply ARMY!

ARMY-Lickin’ Good

ARMY Making people successful in a changing world

The Sweet You Can’t Eat Without ARMY

Good To The Last ARMY

ARMY : Music to the ears

Let Your Fingers Do the Walking Through the ARMY

World’s finest ARMY

Nothing Comes Between Me And My ARMY

ARMY satisfies the need

ARMY – go for it

The Lighter Way To Enjoy ARMY

ARMY? Yes please

ARMY Is Forever

ARMY for everybody

Feel good with ARMY

Feel The Raw Naked ARMY Of The Road

Lucky ARMY

ARMY is the best

We Build ARMY

Fall Into The ARMY

It’s nothing but ARMY

ARMY right as rain

ARMY is the best forget the rest

How Refreshing How ARMY

Leggo my ARMY

ARMY chews ’em up and spits ’em out

ARMY wins again

The art of ARMY

I Can’t Believe It’s Not ARMY

It’s ARMY Time

Dial Down the ARMY

When The Going Gets Tough The Tough Get ARMY

ARMY perfection at it’s finest

Full Of Eastern ARMY

Who wouldn’t fight for ARMY?

ARMY since 1845

If there is a will there is Army

Never Knowingly ARMY

ARMY tastic

ARMY – Yabba Dabba Duh

One goal one passion – ARMY

I Scream You Scream We All Scream for ARMY

The ARMY spirit

Me and my ARMY

Come to Life Come to ARMY

We Bring ARMY to Life

There’s a bit of ARMY in all of us

ARMY ‘s got it all

The Dirt says Hot The Label says ARMY

Where is your ARMY?

One ARMY is better than two of something else

The World’s Favourite ARMY

ARMY rocks

Food or ARMY? I’ll have ARMY

ARMY just one more helping

I want more I want ARMY

ARMY for everyone

My ARMY your ARMY ARMY for all

Just ARMY

You’re in Good Hands with ARMY

Sometimes You Feel Like Army Sometimes You Don’t

ARMY loves you

Ooh la lArmy

ARMY will get you more girls

Race for the ARMY

ARMY something for everyone

From Our ARMY to Yours

Simply ARMY

Happiness is a Cigar Called ARMY

The Power of ARMY

Nothing is faster than ARMY

Taste the ARMY

Want a suggestion? – ARMY

ARMY makes you sexy

Feel it – ARMY

ARMY in touch with tomorrow

Melts In Your ARMY Not In Your Hand

Not Just Nearly ARMY But Really ARMY

If Only Everything in Life was as Reliable as Army

ARMY – as good as it gets

Think positive think ARMY

Cleans Right Round The ARMY

My ARMY to Yours

Let’s ARMY

ARMY the real thing

For The ARMY You Don’t Yet Know

I Feel Like ARMY Tonight

Follow your ARMY

Everything We Do is Driven by ARMY

ARMY yep that’s it

ARMY to hell with the rest

ARMY the clear choice

Funky ARMY

Because ARMY is Complicated Enough

Think different think ARMY

ARMY for me

Have Army and Smile

A nice shiny new ARMY

The ARMY of Confidence

ARMY – go for the game

See you at ARMY

Pure ARMY Pure Power

Happiness is ARMY -Shaped

ARMY – spice up your life

I see ARMY in your future

Ding-Dong ARMY Calling

We Don’t Make ARMY We Make ARMY Better

Wouldn’t You Like To Be ARMY Too?

Get More From ARMY

The Queen of ARMY

A leaner meaner ARMY

Show Me The ARMY

ARMY on the outside tasty on the inside

Be inspired by ARMY

You Like ARMY ARMY Likes You

I want my ARMY

So Easy No Wonder ARMY is #1

The ARMY Bars Are On Me

ARMY is a winner

Exceedingly Good ARMY

You Can On Army Can Do

ARMY Unscripted

Thanks ARMY

The ARMY people

This Is Not Your Father’s ARMY

Problem? The Solution: ARMY

Now with 50% more ARMY

Make ARMY Yours

Step into the light with ARMY

Make Room for the ARMY

The Best ARMY Under One Roof

Go far with ARMY

ARMY kicks ass

ARMY is the buzz

This Is The Age Of The ARMY

Give That Man ARMY

Make Someone Happy with Army

ARMY gets the job done

If You Want To Get Ahead Get ARMY

ARMY The power on your side

Get In My ARMY

ARMY for your kids

I fall for ARMY

Get Serious Get ARMY

ARMY shows good taste

Splash ARMY All Over

Leave the ARMY to Us

ARMY gets you through the night

Simply the best ARMY

ARMY for you

ARMY – be prepared

The ARMY That Refreshes

Nobody Does It Like ARMY

I can’t believe it’s ARMY

Simple Impartial ARMY

ARMY you’ve got it

Once ARMY always ARMY

I am Stuck on ARMY ‘Cause ARMY ‘s Stuck on Me

A Day Without ARMY is Like a Day Without Sunshine

ARMY Is Our Middle Name

The Incredible Edible ARMY

Moving at the Speed of ARMY

You don’t want ARMY as your enemy

ARMY eclipses the competition

ARMY takes good care of you

Designed for ARMY

ARMY your family will love you

ARMY can’t be beat

ARMY for your life

ARMY sees all knows all

ARMY – now

ARMY shines through

Feel the magic of ARMY

ARMY as far as the eye can see

ARMY first at the finish line

ARMY only if you want the best

ARMY wonder

Something Special In The ARMY

Do You Have The ARMY Inside?

Grab Life by the ARMY

ARMY keeps going and going and going

There’s only one true ARMY

You know when it’s ARMY

ARMY the best service around

I Wish They All Could Be ARMY Girls

Naughty little ARMY

Only ARMY Has The Answer

ARMY is your safe place in an unsafe world

The Curiously Strong ARMY

ARMY the only way to go

ARMY – It Looks Good on You

ARMY gets it done on time

ARMY always and forever

Go where the winners go – ARMY

Firstclass ARMY

Every ARMY Helps

Praise ARMY

Stop This ARMY is not Ready Yet

ARMY Tested Mother Approved

ARMY makes your day

Let’s talk about ARMY

ARMY brings out the best

ARMY A Day Helps You Work Rest and Play

Aaahh ARMY

ARMY Take Me Away

My ARMY

There’s only one thing in the world I want and that is ARMY

ARMY it’s guaranteed

ARMY – The Freshmaker

See the USA in Your ARMY

Your Flexible ARMY

Time for a Sharp ARMY

And All Because The Lady Loves ARMY

ARMY know-how

ARMY is always the one

A Tough ARMY to Follow

I’d Like to Buy the World Army

ARMY outshines the rest

ARMY do you need anything else?

ARMY reaching for the stars

The Home of ARMY

ARMY the only solution

ARMY is inspiration

Men Can’t Help Acting On ARMY

My way is ARMY

Call a friend call ARMY

Just Do ARMY

For That Deep Down Body ARMY

Just gotta have ARMY

Gotta LottArmy

ARMY is better than chocolate

I Learned It By Watching ARMY

ARMY – a class of its own

ARMY ‘s like heaven

The Passionate Pursuit of ARMY

ARMY innovate your world

Break through with ARMY

You’re Never Alone with Army

ARMY – to feel free

name_entry data-title=Start the day with ARMY

America’s Most Trusted ARMY

I Think Therefore ARMY

Easy ARMY

We Want To Be Smiths ARMY

Fast ARMY and Good for You

Did Somebody Say ARMY?

Tense Nervous ARMY?

I’d Walk a Mile for Army

ARMY – Your personal entertainer

ARMY quality you can see

Kick ass with ARMY

ARMY stands above the rest

ARMY the highlife

Our ARMY is bigger

The Future’s Bright The Future’s ARMY

ARMY love it or leave it

ARMY empowers you

ARMY for all

ARMY the secret of women

I’d do anything for ARMY

Make the world a better place with ARMY

Have ARMY Your Way

I Want My ARMY

ARMY when only the best will do

Wait Till We Get Our ARMY On You

Semper ARMY

It’s my ARMY

You Need ARMY

Gonna Be a While? Grab Army

Have a Break Have Army

Next stop ARMY

Tough on Dirt Gentle on ARMY

Just Like ARMY Used To Make

ARMY you’ll love it

ARMY the choice cut

ARMY – it’s like heaven

Endless possibilities with ARMY

The secret of ARMY

The ARMY man

Welcome To ARMY Country

ARMY building a better tomorrow

It’s your ARMY

ARMY will make you feel better

You’ve Always Got Time For ARMY

ARMY – a safe place in an unsafe world

Go farther with ARMY

The magic of ARMY>

The more ARMY the better

Discover the ARMY Difference

ARMY – first class

ARMY ized

ARMY a cut above the rest

ARMY Is Good For You

I’ve Seen The Future and It’s ARMY -Shaped

Don’t Say Brown Say ‘ARMY ‘

ARMY this is it

Your ARMY Right Away

I Liked The ARMY So Much I Bought The Company

Get ARMY before your friend does

Hey have you tried ARMY?

Keep That ARMY Complexion

ARMY the best you can get

ARMY Works Wonders

ARMY – once you have it you love it

ARMY what else?

Where’s The ARMY?

My ARMY is mine

Do you know ARMY?

ARMY online

ARMY Makes Everything Better

The Too Good to Hurry ARMY

Nobody Better Lay a Finger on my ARMY

ARMY one for all

Plink Plink ARMY

The Good ARMY Kids Go For

My Goodness My ARMY

You Can’t Get Quicker Than Army Fitter

ARMY – get ready

We’ll Leave The ARMY On For You

ARMY it’s as simple as that

ARMY for president

Be part of ARMY

Nothing Works Better Than Army

There Ain’t No Party Like ARMY Party

Made by ARMY

Only a Fool Breaks the ARMY

ARMY lasts longer

ARMY – simplified

ARMY – see the light

Way to go ARMY

It’s not a dream ARMY is real

ARMY Saves Your Soul

ARMY Really Satisfies

ARMY your way

ARMY the original

Worldclass ARMY

Snap into Army

With ARMY you’ll have no more worries

No need to worry with ARMY

If You Can’t Beat ARMY Join ARMY

Spreads Straight from the ARMY

Things Go Better with ARMY

Is It Live Or Is It ARMY?

I’ll show you my ARMY if you show me yours

Come See the Softer Side of ARMY

We Bring The Good ARMY To Life

ARMY whatever you want

It’s your ARMY!

Things Happen After Army

Come Fly The Friendly ARMY

Don’t Live a Little Live Army

ARMY – when you just feel like it

Step Into The ARMY

The ARMY For All Ages

ARMY this is it!

It Must Be ARMY

With ARMY you’ll have no more worries!

ARMY the solution

It’s That ARMY Feeling

Wow! I Could Have Had Army!

Try ARMY You’ll Like It

The ARMY that Smiles Back

ARMY you can’t live without it

It’s the Bright One it’s the Right One that’s ARMY

See the world with ARMY

Connect with ARMY

The ARMY community

ARMY makes me want to do it again

Bigger Better ARMY

You Deserve ARMY Today

ARMY let the good times roll

The Best ARMY A Man Can Get

Because I’m Worth ARMY

ARMY after a long day

ARMY when you need results

A day with ARMY

I’d walk a mile for ARMY

Long live ARMY

There’s Only One ARMY

Kick ass with ARMY!

Don’t play with fire play with ARMY

Swing your ARMY

ARMY will brighten your day

Ho Ho Ho Green ARMY

No ARMY no kiss

Try ARMY you’ll like it

Probably The Best ARMY In The World

Prolongs Active ARMY

ARMY when no one else is around

There’s Always Room For ARMY

All you need is ARMY

The ARMY effect

Obey Your ARMY

It’s Different in Army

Discover the world of ARMY

It’s the ARMY Fizz That Does The Bizz

For the love of ARMY

You Can’t Top Army

Got Army? You’re in Luck

A most excellent ARMY

The ARMY Bars Are On Me!

Truly ARMY

If You Like A Lot of Chocolate on Your ARMY Join Our Club

I love ARMY

Pleasing ARMY the World Over

ARMY the key to success

The ARMY That Likes To Say Yes

Nonstop ARMY

Everyone’s Favourite ARMY

Go to heaven with ARMY

Get The ARMY Out

Any Time Any Place ARMY

When you say ARMY you’ve said it all

ARMY – enjoy the difference

Loves the ARMY You Hate

The Most Interesting ARMY in the World

You Can On Army Can Do!

ARMY will love you forever

Reach Out and Touch ARMY

Ask the Man From the ARMY

ARMY it’s a kind of magic

Time To Make The ARMY

Where Do You Want ARMY To Go Today?

ARMY rules

There’s lots of fun in ARMY

New Thinking New ARMY

Enjoy ARMY

ARMY better than sex

Do it with ARMY

Don’t Get Mad Get ARMY

ARMY just what you needed

The Spirit of ARMY

My ARMY your ARMY ARMY for all!

One goal one passion – ARMY

151 Countries One ARMY

Everyone wants Army

Nothing to worry about with ARMY

Long live ARMY

Monsieur with this ARMY you are really spoiling us

For a fresh change try ARMY

Today’s ARMY Since 1903

ARMY makes dreams come true

ARMY a radical new idea

When You’ve Got ARMY Flaunt It

ARMY fun for the whole family

Hand-Built by ARMY

They’re Waffly ARMY

ARMY will live on forever

Don’t forget your ARMY

Live in Your ARMY Play in Ours

ARMY stays on track

The Real Smell of ARMY

For a Hard-Earned Thirst ARMY

Come to ARMY and Let’s Get It Done

ARMY is your friend

ARMY is the sound of the future

ARMY will be for you what you want it to be

It’s Good To Talk ARMY

ARMY better than best

The Science Of ARMY

What Can ARMY Do For You?

ARMY will do anything for you

ARMY is back

Anyone can handle ARMY

ARMY new and improved

The view on ARMY

ARMY Keeps Going and Going

I Love What You Do For ARMY

The facts show ARMY is tops

3 2 1 ARMY

If You’ve Got the Time We’ve Got the ARMY

Saved by ARMY

ARMY Is Job 1

ARMY – empowering people

The Appliance of ARMY

Come One Come All To ARMY

Sharing the ARMY of your Life

The ARMY Sign Means Happy Motoring

Can you feel ARMY?

Crunch All You Want We’ll Make ARMY

It’s time to think about ARMY

Don’t Be Vague Ask for ARMY

Fill It To The Rim With ARMY

Hope It’s ARMY It’s ARMY We Hope It’s ARMY

Can you feel it? ARMY

I Saw ARMY and I Thought of You

Wear ARMY

Good ARMY Has Danish Written All Over It

ARMY leaves the rest behind

Out Of The Strong Came Forth ARMY

Make the Most of ARMY

Get more from life with ARMY

Pride of the ARMY For Over a Hundred Years

ARMY is what the world was waiting for

The joy of ARMY

ARMY goes on and on

What Would You Do For ARMY?

You can’t beat ARMY

Solutions For a Small ARMY

Get Busy with the ARMY

Strong and Beautiful Just Like ARMY

Good Honest ARMY Since 1896

We All Adore Army

All ARMY All The Time

ARMY the wise choice

There is no life without ARMY

ARMY gives that warm feeling

Maybe She’s Born With It Maybe It’s ARMY

ARMY just the best

ARMY – Xtending service

You Can Be Sure of ARMY

More ARMY Please

Just What The ARMY Ordered

Say it with ARMY

ARMY is rolling the others are stoned

Marvin the Mountie Always Gets His ARMY

We’re with the ARMY

You can’t stop ARMY

You Press the ARMY We Do the Rest

The magic of ARMY

Promise Her Anything But Give Her ARMY

All You Add Is ARMY

Good to know ARMY

Once You Pop You Can’t Stop ARMY

Everyone should believe in ARMY

Little Yellow Different ARMY

ARMY – forget the rest

ARMY eats the competition

Ding-Dong! ARMY Calling!

It’s fast it’s furious it’s ARMY

The ideal ARMY

ARMYeriffic!

ARMY is there day or night

Kids Will Do Anything For ARMY

Think ARMY

ARMY beat

The Right ARMY at the Right Time

ARMY any time of day

ARMY When there’s nothing else

ARMY good

For Mash Get ARMY

Free ARMY for all

Keep going well keep going ARMY

An Army of ARMY

Stimulation for Body and ARMY

I am Stuck on ARMY ‘Cause ARMY’s Stuck on Me

It’s Just For Me And My ARMY

ARMY no one else is better

ARMY for a brighter shine

Tonight Let It Be ARMY

Strong Enough for a Man Made for Army

I found me ARMY

ARMY is my passion

Double the Pleasure Double the ARMY

The Future of ARMY

Let’s Face The Music and ARMY

Think Once Think Twice Think ARMY

Up up and away with ARMY

Let your ARMY flow

ARMY for the masses

ARMY is a female force

The Coolest ARMY on Ice

Run For The ARMY

ARMY extra dry

ARMY only

ARMY pointing in the right direction

Go On Get Your ARMY Out

ARMY See more Do more

Schhh You Know ARMY

ARMY one new status symbol

ARMY groove

Jesus loves ARMY

ARMY built to perfection

Plop Plop Fizz Fizz Oh What Army it is!

It’s How ARMY Is Done

The original ARMY

ARMY your way!

Stop! This ARMY is not Ready Yet!

My Goodness My ARMY!

ARMY asks for nothing in return

ARMY the smart choice

Dude You’re Getting Army!

Say It With ARMY

See the Face You Love Light Up With ARMY

ARMY for a better future

More Than Just Army

Be alive with ARMY

Two ARMY are better than one

The Man From ARMY he says ‘Yes’

Better Living Through ARMY

ARMY when it has to get done

Top Breeders Recommend ARMY

ARMY won’t hurt that bad

My ARMY and me

Lightening the ARMY

ARMY is crazy good

Don’t Forget The ARMY Mum

ARMY – first class!

ARMY It’s Everywhere You Wanna Be

I’m Lovin’ ARMY

Let The ARMY Take The Strain

The World’s ARMY Marketplace

Bridge That Gap with ARMY

Go where the winners go – ARMY!

Saved by ARMY!

I’m not Just the ARMY I’m a Member

ARMY knocks out the competition

The Ultimate ARMY Machine

Got ARMY?

ARMY you know you want it

With A Name Like ARMY It Has To Be Good

Go To Work On ARMY

Get ARMY or Get Out

P-P-P-Pick Up ARMY

ARMY as sure as the sun shines

My Anti-Drug is ARMY

You Too Can Have ARMY Like Mine

Vorsprung Durch ARMY

The top pick ARMY

ARMY Just Feels Right

Can’t Do It In Real Life? Do It On ARMY

Let Your ARMY Do The Walking

ARMY you’ve got it!

Uh-oh Better Get ARMY

ARMY is so Bracing

Have a break have Army

Australians Wouldn’t Give ARMY For Anything Else

Sweet as the Moment When the ARMY Went ‘Pop’

Tell Them About The ARMY Mummy

It’s Not All ARMY ARMY ARMY you know

ARMY – Just do it

ARMY gets you where you’re going

the science of ARMY

ARMY will make you handsome

ARMY the problem solver

Driven by ARMY

The ARMY is Mightier than the Sword

It Makes Your ARMY Smack

ARMY – reinventing the wheel

Hallelujah it’s Army

ARMY is everything you need

Women love ARMY

ARMY for when it’s quitting time

Once Driven Forever ARMY

The Better Way to Start the ARMY

Everyone loves ARMY

Let’s ARMY!

Don’t worry ARMY takes care

ARMY stay in touch

It’s Army Adventure

The ARMY way of life

You wouldn’t want to miss ARMY

ARMY the meaning of life

ARMY takes it to the next level

Watch Out There’s Army About

ARMY – today and tomorrow

ARMY works like magic

The spirit of ARMY

ARMY makes me happy

The wonder has a name: ARMY

When It Absolutely Positively Has To Be ARMY Overnight

ARMY always the right choice

ARMY is good for you

ARMY for hire

ARMY Dreamteam

Free for all ARMY

ARMY opens the flood gates

The Joy of ARMY

I trust ARMY

Smart Beautiful ARMY

Does the Hard ARMY So You Don’t Have To

The World’s Local ARMY

The ARMY of your Life

Always the real thing always ARMY

Make Fun of ARMY

You better get inside ARMY

Nothing Acts Faster Than ARMY

The best darn ARMY you can get

Play ARMY start living

ARMY heads above the rest

Heal the world with ARMY

Don’t mess with ARMY

Life’s Pretty Straight Without ARMY

You’ll Look a Little Lovelier Each Day with Fabulous Pink ARMY

Makes You Feel ARMY Again

The ARMY universe

Stay cool with ARMY

Aaahh ARMY!

A Smooth-Running ARMY is a Relaxing Experience

My ARMY is better than your ARMY

ARMY the only way to fly

It’s not a dream ARMY is real!

People like ARMY

Don’t You Just Love Being In ARMY?

Reach for the ARMY

ARMY the time is now

All You Need is Army and a Dream

Only The Crumbliest Flakiest ARMY

Moms Like You Choose ARMY

ARMY never lies

Fresh from the Captain’s ARMY

ARMY is my world

ARMY food for the soul

The one and only ARMY

ARMY never die

ARMY – living innovation

Get your daily dose of ARMY

Are you ready for ARMY?

ARMY when nothing else will do

ARMY’s got it all!

ARMY – simplified!

Choosy Mothers Choose ARMY

ARMY gets me excited

ARMY Wanted

Because So Much Is Riding On Your ARMY

The ARMY look

Built ARMY Tough

ARMY couldn’t ask for more

It must be ARMY

Free ARMY

ARMY is the word

It Takes A Tough Man To Make A Tender ARMY

ARMY and on and on

Smart people choose ARMY

Red hot ARMY

Review the facts ARMY is the best

High life with ARMY

Doing It Right Before Your ARMY

Challenge ARMY

ARMY the best part of the day

Prepare To Want ARMY

It Does Exactly What It Says On The ARMY

Just One ARMY – Give It To Me!

The best ARMY in the world

Do The ARMY

ARMY is the only way to be happy

Power For Your ARMY

A radical new ARMY

If You Really Want To Know Look In The ARMY

ARMY solves your problems

My ARMY beats everything

It’s a Beautiful ARMY

Our ARMY beats last years ARMY

It’s my ARMY!

ARMY can do

Yo Quiero ARMY

ARMY have more fun

ARMY nonstop

I’ve Seen The Future and It’s ARMY-Shaped

ARMY fills you up inside

ARMY is our middle name

You’ve Got Questions We’ve Got ARMY

That’ll be the ARMY

ARMY forever

ARMY values

ARMY when you’re out of time

ARMY soothes the nerves

Feel it – ARMY!

Santa all I want is ARMY

We Do ARMY Right

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I wouldn’t leave the house without ARMY

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Snap Into A Slim ARMY

Let the ARMY Begin

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See the ARMY Feel the Shine

Everything is simple with ARMY

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Firstclass ARMY!

ARMY is forever

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How Refreshing! How ARMY!

Share moments share ARMY

ARMY – be ready

ARMY moments

ARMY – The Revolution

I need ARMY right now

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ARMY never sleeps

Say ARMY

The age of ARMY

Life’s beautiful with ARMY

Don’t Leave Home Without ARMY

Get Back Your ‘Ooo’ With ARMY

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I wish I had Army

Where’s ARMY?

Leggo my ARMY!

Think Feel ARMY

ARMY the sign of success

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Make yourself at home with ARMY

Daddy or ARMY?

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ARMY for your kids!

ARMY where success is at home

ARMY how did you live without it?

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ARMY for all time

Live ARMY

It all comes back to ARMY

It’s a New ARMY Every Day

There’s First Love and There’s ARMY Love

I believe in ARMY

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Good to the Last ARMY

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Get ARMY today

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ARMY evolution

Wouldn’t You Rather Be ARMY?

Passion for ARMY

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ARMY the top of the heap

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Every ARMY has a story

The ARMY Goes Straight to your Head

Feel the ARMY

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ARMY try it you’ll like it!

Want a suggestion? – ARMY!

Super ARMY is Almost Here

I want my ARMY

These are some of the best army slogans or taglines that you can modify based on your own needs and then make use of.

via Slogans

[theamazinguchihabruhs]

Getting A job Part 3

Read part 1 and 2: https://theamazinguchihabruhs.tumblr.com/post/164227575161/getting-a-job-part-2

Part 3

“Two milkshakes-” I slipped over a wet spot on the floor, causing me to fall forwards right on the lap of the first customer while my tray fell on the person sitting next to him. “What the-?” I looked behind me at the water on the floor.

“If you mop the floor, put a sign out! Everybody can sue us!” I hissed getting up, rubbing my head. Everything was swirling for a moment. I looked at the man and I gasped seeing the milkshake spilled on his lap.

“I am so, so sorry! Let me get that for you!” I grabbed a bunch of napkins I leaned over the first man to reach the second lap to clean the mess I made. “Please don’t tell my boss, this third time this week, he is going to scold me for sure this time” I said. I wanted to grab more napkins, but the man suddenly stopped me, crossing his legs and putting his briefcase on his lap.

‘It is fine, really” He said.

“Are you sure?” I leaned slightly in, “Your face is as red as a tomato, are you alright?”

“Y-Yes!” He said, sweating nervously.

“Well, I guess you are in luck, I love tomatoes” I said, “I will get your milkshakes right away”  

I walked back to the kitchen to get him a new milkshake. I saw Foxy lean against the counter, looking slightly annoyed.

“It is so busy” He said, “It has been ever since you started working here”

“Hnn, coincidence?” I said. He walked towards me, adjusting my cat ear that had apparently shifted when I fell.

“They are probably all very eager to see you” Foxy said.

“Me?” I laughed from the idea. I was such a lousy waiter.

“You should take your lunch break, let Bunny handle your tables” He said, putting my tray on the counter and shoving it to Bunny.

“Shoot” I said.

“Why did you take this job?” He asked.

“Cuz money” I said. I meant it more as a joke, remembering how I threw the cash over Izuna only to be able to shout  “Makkeee it raaaiiinnnn~!!!”

“You are providing for your family too?”

I blinked a couple of times, looking at Foxy cluelessly.

“What?” I asked.

“Yeah, my father died when I was ten, my mother is sick, she is in a wheelchair, I dropped out of school to work and provide for my younger sisters”

Wow...now I felt like jerk.

“What about you, Kitty?”

“I...I am an orphan…” I whispered.

“Oh, you poor thing” He suddenly wrapped his arms around me, “You are all on your own, you don’t deserve this...” He whispered. Now I felt like a bigger asshole than before!

“Uhm...it’s really not that bad...I have five brothers-”

“You are providing for your five younger brothers? You are such an angel-” He kept talking, but the sudden guilt just became bigger and bigger. Why did people with sad back stories ruin my mood. Now I am the jackass!

“Not at all-” I was going to come clean, but I suddenly heard a familiar voice from all the people in here. From customers to employees. I always recognised that one voice.

“What is this, dattebayo?”

I turned my head to the door, seeing Naruto enter the cafe with three other guys. I suddenly ducked under the counter, causing Foxy to give me a weird look.

“T-That blond! He cannot see me!” I hissed.

“Who is he? He is hot” Foxy said.

“He is…he is my…ex…” I was not gonna say the love of my life that doesn’t know I am his yet.

“Awkward...I will distract them and you go crawl from under the tables to the restroom and then go escape from the window” He whispered before walking to distract Naruto. I did as Foxy said. I crawled from behind the counter under the first table, but before I made it to the second. I saw the chairs move. I remained under the table, my legs and arms were wrapped around the centered leg to occupy minimum space. I heard some voices and right in front of me I saw a pair of orange and black sneakers. I just knew they belonged to Naruto. It was just my bad luck they took the table that was the same one I was hiding under.

“So why did we come here, Menma?” Naruto asked.

“Because it is basically a daylight stripclub! But instead of a lap dance, you get giggles and fries” An unfamiliar voice answered.

“Giggles and fries?” I could recognise Nagato’s voice...Oh fuck, I am busted for sure. I shook my head and tried to encourage myself. Come on, I had 7 years of military training. I should be able to sneak out here without anybody noticing!

“Yea! Feast your eyes on these hotties” This Menma guy said, “Hey Bunny, is the one with the cat ears around? The one in that crop top and mini skirt?”

I suddenly felt disgusting.

“Kitty? Kitty was around here a minute ago, y’know how kitties get with strangers, they get scared and hide, hahahaha” She laughed.

“That pussy” I heard this Menma comment. I wanted to scratch him, but that would blow my cover.

“We should have gone to the diner near the hospital-”

“Because Sasuke works there?” Nagato teased him.

“Fuck yeah, dattebayo”

“What is it with you and this Sasuke guy, anyway? Kitty is totally your type! Raven, slim, nice ass, juicy thighs, not to mention, little paws to scratch you-”

“...that weirdly sounds like Sasuke” Nagato commented.

“Ew!” Both Menma and Naruto suddenly said.

“Nagato you are married, you are forty years old, keep it in your pants!” Naruto exclaimed, “I will tell Itachi and then we both are on his black list”

“Black list?” I whispered. I should ask niisan about that.

“Aaah, where is Kitty? I was hoping he would drop something and then when he picks it up we get a great ass view”

…suddenly the phrase ignorance is bliss made so much more sense to me.

“You keep it in your pants too” Naruto commented.

“Nah! Daylight strip club” Menma argued.

“Have you made up your minds?” I could hear Foxy’s voice. I had to catch his attention so he could distract them so I could make my escape. I grabbed my collar with the fake bell on it and took it off before throwing it under the table. I saw Foxy’s hand pick it up.

“Hey, that belongs to Kitty right?” I heard this Menma guys ask.

“Ooh, Kitty must be in the kitchen, you know what…? You guys should greet him, he would love that, why don’t you follow me!” Foxy said. Yes, he was a genius!

“I don’t know Kitty, I will just sit here-”

“Nonsense, Kitty...loves meeting people!” Foxy said, “You should go say hello to him!” I am so glad Foxy was persuasive enough. They left the table and I took my chance to crawl away from under it and run to the restroom. I immediately hid in the last stall.

I had to get out of here and fast! I stood on the toilet seat and opened the small window in the corner. I pulled myself up trying to crawl out of it…and I thought I was so smooth and that this was going to work...if it didn’t reach my ass. Yup...my ass didn’t fit. I cursed as I was halfway out. I felt like God was punishing me…and after what I heard about myself doing this job…it made sense why God hated me. I tried pulling myself out, maybe I should get some lube or something! Isn’t there a lube dispenser in this restroom. You would think people come here to jack off before eating their food.

My eyes widened, hearing the door of the restroom open. Okay, I was busted, but there was still this small hope it was either Foxy or my boss or anyone that was not Naruto or Nagato…but I was just not a lucky person.

“Sasuke?” I heard the familiar voice say.  I know panick makes people do stupid stuff, but I never really understood why I did what I did.

“Who is Sasuke?” I said in a high pitched voice, “I don’t know who this sexy Sasuke is...I am Kitty”

“Yeah, Sasuke is pretty cute”

“I am not cute, I am sexy, usuratonkachi!” I hissed and then I immediately realized I was set up.

“Yeah, I can recognise that butt out of a million, dattebayo” I could hear him sigh deeply, “What are you doing?”

“I am...catching some air” I said, but the silence made it clear that he did not buy it “I am smoking” I corrected myself, but still didn’t get a reaction “Uhm...weed...I am smoking weed”

“You are stuck, aren’t you?”

‘You think there is an ass diet?” I sighed, “I am stuck”

“Were you…trying to hide from me?” He asked. I heard Naruto stand on the toilet seat. He wrapped his arms around  my hips and he pulled me free with one jerk.

“Kinda...” I answered, turning my head around to look at him. He shook his head, putting me on the ground before jumping off the toilet seat.

“Izuna said you worked at the diner” Naruto looked utterly confused. Like he was trying to figure out why I was doing what I was doing. His eyes were fixated on my eyes, it felt pretty forced. Like he kept telling himself not to look down.

“I did…for two weeks…and then I got offered this job and it was so easy and it was so much money…I took it” I said, “Your eyes are making me uncomfortable, just look where ever you wanna look” His eyes immediately lowered themselves.

“Easy money, huh? Are things that tight?”

“No...oh, I am going to sound like a jerk” I sighed “Shisui and Itachi said I had to do something this summer, either an internship at the hospital or law firm and I said...I rather choose a job, so, I took the diner job and I regretted it because it was boring, but it was too late to go back to their offer because it meant they won, so…I got offered this job and everybody kept calling me a natural and saying I was really good and I got tons of compliments and tips and I guess...I did kinda like the attention so…here I am…a month later”

Naruto gave me this confused look before shaking his head.

“I am trying to reason with your explanation, but I can’t”

“Success and money?” I shortened it to the basics.

“No, I don’t get how somebody like you can sink this low to do this just for some attention, are you that mentally fucked? Do you have that many issues?!” He sounded pissed and if this was anybody else...I would have probably told them to fuck off because this was my life...but with Naruto…it almost felt I was getting scolded by my father. I lowered my eyes to the ground. I felt like a ten year old again…

“Is it wrong of me to be disappointed in you? You are smart, talented, funny and…” I felt his hand on my cheek, causing me to look up “Already so beautiful, without those cat ears and super short skirt, why would you ever need a bunch of perverts to remind you of that?”

“Don’t be disappointed…” I whispered.

“Does Itachi know? Shisui? Madara? Obito? Damn, does Izuna even know?”

“No one, but I never lied!” I looked away, “They just never asked-”

“Don’t put this on them, hiding the truth is still lying”  He frowned.

“No…” I pouted, “Not really”

“Sasuke” Naruto shook his head.

‘Are you going to tell them?” I asked, “My brothers...I mean…”

“I think this is the quarter-life crisis my dad was talking about last night during dinner...” Naruto let go of my cheek.  “Do me a favor...quit and let’s put this all behind us and...deal with this together, dattebayo” He took his jacket off and wrapped it around my shoulders. His hands squeezed my upper arm in a supportive way. I narrowed my eyes when I looked at him.

“Your father and mom are on vacation, I know this because therapy is cancelled for two weeks, so, Uzumaki, explain to me how your father told you about a quarter life crisis last night during dinner, which is also...oddly specific for somebody with the memory of a goldfish”

Naruto’s eyes widened.

“On the phone! When I was having dinner...dattebayo!” I smell bullshit.

“Why would you lie to me about such a small thing...unless…you were not even home last night because...you were doing something you are either ashamed of or don’t want me to know” I slapped his hand off me. “Tell me”

“Oh, I was just...not home-”

“You just said avoiding the truth is the same as lying, you hypocrite!” I pointed an accusing finger at him, “What could be so bad?”  

The door of the restroom opened and I got pushed back inside the toilet stall before Naruto locked the door behind him. His hand was wrapped around my mouth while his other hand was wrapped around my waist. He shushed in my ear and I frowned.

“Oi cousin, you in here?” I could hear the voice that sounded familiar. I guess it was the Menma guy from before.  

“Just taking a dump, Menma!” I heard Naruto say. Alright, I know Naruto has this protective nature. He could chit-chat with somebody for 5 minutes and still push them off the street when a car comes. But this…this was just weird. I didn’t have to be genius to know this cousin was a pervert, but was it really that bad to hide me? Was he that ashamed of me? Why would he even care? That guy talked very highly about Kitty ten minutes ago!

“Oooohhh~ Taking a dump eh? And when did you grow the extra pair of legs, eh? Little cousin?”

“...about ten minutes ago, dattebayo” Naruto answered.

“Ten minutes, hey slut who is in there getting some from my cousin, is he that bad, couldn’t blondie finish you off in about five, pfff~” He laughed for some apparent reason.

I looked in the corner of my eye and saw Naruto give me a rather annoyed look. I gave him a small nod. Yup, I got his back. He removed his hand.

“It is not me who isn’t finished, damn Naruto, you got some stamina there, I’ve climaxed for the third time-”

“Climaxed...really?” He whispered.

“What? Not good?” I whispered back, “I thought it sounded a better than cumming”

“...it sound weird, dattebayo, anyway, can you mention me having a big dick or something? “

“Mentioning?! Are you telling me-” He wrapped his hand around my mouth and gave me this sweet, pathetic, smile. I rolled my eyes.

“Oh~Naruto~ Your penis is...prodigious!” I said rather loud. He rolled his eyes. Apparently my dirty talk needed some work.

“Uh...sure thing...Naruto hurry up fucking around, I am not going to wait an hour for you to finish fucking some tramp like in the stripclub yesterday”

“MENMA!” Naruto shouted angrily.

“Be safe…hey, there is a condom dispenser in this restroom, classy shit, Nagato and I are gonna order already, dickhead” I could hear the door shut and I looked right into Naruto’s eyes.

“Funny...you are lecturing me for working as a waiter in a skirt that is a little short, but meanwhile you go ahead and fuck some tramp in a bathroom stall...of a stripclub” I shook my head, but couldn't help but to smile a pathetic smile. For a moment, I thought I really meant something to him. I was stupid.

“No, Sasuke, just hear me out”

I took his jacket off and threw it back at him before trying to get out of the restroom stall, but he blocked the way.

“It is not what it looks like-”

“Really? Because I see some hypocrite douchebag blocking my way!” I hissed grabbing him by his collar, “And if he doesn’t get away from the door, I will fucking kick him through it!”

“Just listen! Dattebayo!” He snapped at me, grabbing my wrist and pinned me against the door. My eyes widened. I did not expect this outcome…and I am awkwardly turned on.

“Somebody has been going to the gym” I looked away.

“Yeah~ I have been really trying to work on my bicep game, awh~ thanks for noticing-” He suddenly shook his head. Apparently he didn’t want to go off topic. I was expecting some dramatic speech...but I got none. If I had a watch I would have checked the time to indicate how long he was taking, but not only did I not have a watch. Both my wrists were pinned against the door.

“Is there anything coming? Or are you wasting both our time?” I asked.

“Alright!I was never good with words to begin with, was I at the stripclub?...yes! But does that affect the amount I care about you? No, of course not!”

“Naruto, I have seen Zootopia I know exactly what you are doing” I rolled my eyes. “Now before I kick you in the nuts, have you actually got something useful to say or is this it?”

“Fine! You want the truth, Uchiha?! Have it! Have it all! I hate, no, I despise, no, loath the idea of you working here because I am jealous! I am fucking jealous, if jealousy had jealousy that would be me, right now!” He shouted. “Just the idea of these son of bitches looking at you, seeing the shit which is only supposed to be mine to see - and only mine!- It grinds my gears! After hearing what my fucking cousin said about you...it makes me actually want to break his jaw! But I can’t! Because you are here, willingly, exposing yourself for some fucking tips! I have been waiting three years on your damn ass while apparently I could have just come here and see you bend over the tables - in a different sense!- I am going off topic…” He took a deep breath, “My point is…I am selfish and jealous...apparently for no fucking reason either” He fixated his look on the ground before letting me go. He sat down on the toilet and ran his hand through his hair.

‘Fuck me…” He whispered. A silence emerged in the bathroom, but then there was a huge farting noise and we both turned our heads to the stall next to ours.

“S-Sorry, I ate some bad meat...continue, please” The person said before making some uncomfortable noises when he proceeded to empty his bowels. Naruto and I shared a look, a small smile appearing on our faces. Both holding back our laughter as we covered our nose.

“Say I gave you twenty bucks...will you quit?” Naruto asked. He had a look on his face that reminded me of a kicked puppy. I guess he felt guilty for his own outburst.

“Naruto, I make twenty dollars just by asking people if they want order already”

“I have a gift-card for the ice-cream? Bet you don’t get that a lot”

“True, but I don’t like sweets”

“Well, too bad, that all I have” He sighed.

“Naruto…” I put my hands on his cheeks, lifting his head so he would look at me, “It’s alright, I'll quit” I said. His ocean blue eyes started to sparkle and I guess he was very relieved.

“But not because you told me to” I looked away. I haven’t forgotten what his cousin said.

“You quit because you have self-respect? Dattebayo?”

“Nah, I got none of that, I quit because the chances of my brothers finding out what I actually do for work is getting too high, dude, Nagato is here, he would have told Itachi-nii for sure! I would literally get killed by my brothers if they knew” I said.

“You are awesome, you know?” He wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me tightly. I allowed my hand to go through his hair a few times.  

“Aawww~ Kiss, kiss, kiss -ugh...diarrhea is the worse!” The person suddenly moaned in pain before we could hear another load drop in the toilet.

“Uhm...try activated carbon” I said, letting go of Naruto.

“Where...do I get that?” And there went another load.

“Try the pharmacy” Naruto got up.

“T-Thank you...you two are a cute couple”

“He can’t even see us?” I whispered. Naruto pointed at hole through the wall that went completely unnoticed by me. Damn, was I traumatized by them?

“Ugh” I took a step away from it. Naruto chuckled, wrapping his arm around me.

“Keep hydrated, stranger with diarrhea” He said.

Oxoxoxooxx

I kicked my shoes out when I got home before walking inside the living room.

“Hey y’all, I quit my job, wasn’t worth it, got boring, so about that internship?”

“YES?!” Both Itachi and Shisui suddenly stood in front of me.

“Told you he would quit!” Itachi said.

“Fuck yea, good thing you aren’t determined at all!” Shisui added.

Well…that was mean...I should have known they would react like that. Now I could say I take the internship at the hospital, I would hurt Shisui that way. But I could take the internship at the lawfirm and hurt Itachi that way...if there was only a way to hurt them both.

“So who are you going to choose?” Itachi asked.

“Y’know what, why don’t you two fight to the death and I will go with whoever wins “ I said, walking pass them to the kitchen to get something to drink. In my surprise Madara was already sitting at the bar table drinking some whisky.

“Why are they arguing?” Madara asked.

“Hmm...internship” I said, sitting next to him. He poured me a glass.

“You quit?”

“Yes”

“Odd” He said, looking at me from the corner of his eye.

“How so?” I asked.

“Because last time I went past the diner to get some coffee and to obviously annoy you, they said you quit...about a month ago” He laughed before shaking his head, “It is just so funny because...around that time this maid cafe got very popular because of a new waiter that apparently quit today, according to my sources”

“Ha...what a coincidence” I chucked down the whiskey before grabbing the bottle and pouring myself some more. “They are still going at it...” I tried to change the topic.

“Oh, you know what? They said you couldn’t get an internship at my firm, but what if I offer you a temporary job? As my assistant?”

“...really? How much does it pay?” I heard something break in the background and I swear...I did not want to turn my head to see if I was right.

“I don’t think you are in a position to bargain” Madara said, shaking his head.

“I take it” I said, raising my glass. “Cheers”

“Cheers” Madara said.

“Should we tell them I already took your offer?” I asked.

“Lesson 1 in business school, when you see your two rivals fight each other...just enjoy the show and stab the winner to the death just to see the pain in their eyes”

“That…cannot be really what they taught you in business school”  I commented.

“Nope, I was sleeping and fucking around all through university...no idea how I got here, but alcohol works” He said.

Edited by @Failureoftheyear

[gduncan969]

Do You Qualify

2 Corinthians 3:1-3 “Do we begin again to commend ourselves? Or do we need, as some others, epistles of commendation to you or letters of commendation from you?  You are our epistle written in our hearts, known and read by all men;  clearly you are an epistle of Christ, ministered by us, written not with ink but by the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of flesh, that is, of the heart.”

In the world, before you can enter certain careers you must prove you have met the standards set by others.  For the professions, you cannot get a “license to practise” until you have taken all the courses and passed all the exams necessary to prove you are competent to practise in your field, be that field medicine, law, accounting, engineering and so on. Once you have proved yourself by passing all the courses and in most cases, demonstrated competence in your field for a year or so, you are welcomed into your profession and given an impressive certificate to hang on your wall saying you are licensed to do what you do (and charge what you charge).  It’s a good system because no one wants to be treated by a doctor who failed all his exams or go into court with a lawyer who couldn’t pass the bar exams. Even when they have passed all the necessary courses, there’s no guarantee they will make a good whatever,-- doctor, lawyer, etc.  A nurse friend once told me of the time she was called by one of the doctors in the hospital where she worked and was asked what the normal level for Aspirin is in human blood!  (If you’re wondering what the answer is, it’s zero—it’s not normally present in human or any other blood.)  Another friend said his doctor was licensed to practise but he didn’t want his doctor practising on him.  

Being qualified to do certain important tasks is essential for the good of society but what of the most important task there is—preaching the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ?  Is there a set of courses to take, exams to pass and a licensing body to guarantee competence in this most important of tasks?  The quick answer is, “Yes”, there are many depending on which denomination or organisation you are referring to and most of them have very strict rules about who is and who isn’t qualified to preach.  Sadly though, there’s often a failure to recognise that being qualified by men is not the same as being qualified by God because He never calls the qualified to preach His Gospel, He only qualifies those He has first called.  It is interesting that when Paul had his Damascus road experience with the Lord Jesus, he was already a highly educated “pharisee of pharisees” schooled in all the intricacies of the Old Testament law and well able to lay down that law to the followers of Jesus then kill them, in the name of the law but note what Jesus says to him in (Acts 26:16) “But rise and stand on your feet; for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to make you a minister and a witness both of the things which you have seen and of the things which I will yet reveal to you.”  He may have been a great Jewish scholar, trained at the feet of Gamaliel (Acts 22:3) but he was not fit to preach the gospel until God made him a minister and a witness both of what he had seen and what He would reveal to him.  So far, the only real thing Paul had seen was a blinding light from heaven and all his previous studies of the Old Testament failed him because he could not recognise the One who spoke and had to ask, “Who are you, Lord?”. Later, in his first letter to the Corinthians (1 Corinthians 2: 1-4), he confesses, “And I, brethren, when I came to you, did not come with excellence of speech or of wisdom declaring to you the testimony of God.  For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified.  I was with you in weakness, in fear, and in much trembling.  And my speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God”.  It appears that his preaching style did not improve with time because in his second letter to the Corinthians (2 Corinthians 10:10-11) he writes: “For his letters,” they say, “are weighty and powerful, but his bodily presence is weak, and his speech contemptible.”  Let such a person consider this, that what we are in word by letters when we are absent, such we will also be in deed when we are present.” That is an encouragement to all of us in our own ministries to the Lord.  The effectiveness of our ministry does not depend on our eloquence or our human wisdom, it doesn’t depend on how much our voice quivers or our knees knock as we present the gospel, it depends solely on the demonstration of the Spirit of God within us as we follow His leading.  An evangelist friend once told me, “Don’t let your knocking knees stop you, bring them along with you because they don’t hinder God one bit.  They will only hinder you if you let them!”

Bible schools have a very important part to play in preparing men and women for the ministry but there’s a danger if they fill only the minds of the scholars but not the hearts.  For all of us, the evidence to our faith in Him is the fruit we bear through the demonstration of His Spirit in us, not the education we have or the diplomas hanging on our walls, important though they may be.  Man may certify but it is God who qualifies.  Several decades ago the dean of a large bible school in the USA came to spend a time of ministry at our church and on the one afternoon he had off I took him fishing on the river behind our house.  As our boat drifted along, he said to me what a wonderful privilege it was to head up the bible school he ran but it saddened him to know that ninety per cent of the students enrolled appeared to have no calling from God on their lives.  They had enrolled because they had been raised in the church and were attracted by what they perceived the life of a pastor to be—popular, important and in charge. That’s not wrong but it isn’t enough!  What thrilled the college dean, he said, were the remaining ten per cent who made it all worth while because they were clearly anointed of God and had a clear call into the pastoral ministry.

In the opening scripture from 2 Corinthians 3:1-3 above, Paul dispenses with the “qualified-by-man-to-preach” approach by pointing out that his ministry was not based on any letters of qualification or recommendation from others but on the demonstration of the Spirit in it.  The proof of his ministry was not a diploma hanging on the wall but the changed lives of the people he was speaking to and that will always be the mark of true ministry—the changed lives of those we have ministered to.  Our education and training may teach us how to pray, how to study His word, how to minister to the sick, the lost, the fearful, the addicted, the demonised and the scoffer but it must be accompanied by the sick being healed, the lost being found, the demons being cast out and lives being changed, otherwise, it’s all just talk and as Paul said earlier (1 Corinthians 4:18), “the kingdom of God is not in word (talk) but in power”.  We may have great eloquence, great learning and great confidence in our own abilities but it means nothing if the Spirit of God does not put His stamp on any of it. On the other hand, we may shake in our boots and stammer as we speak but if God is in it, lives are changed. We can gather that Paul’s earlier preaching was not attractive from a human point of view since he admits it was with trembling voice with “much weakness” that he spoke but, wow!, what an impact when that trembling voice said, “Demon, come out of him in Jesus’ name”, or, when his trembling hands were laid on the sick and they recovered.  Interestingly, the first recorded miracle by Paul was not healing someone but blinding Elymas the sorcerer (Acts 13:11).

So, what about the rest of us?  Are we qualified to preach? To minister?  To pray?  To tell people what the Lord has done for us?  If we believe in Him, the answer is a thousand times YES but not because we have been taught how to do so—good as that is—but because we KNOW Him and know how to allow Him to minister through us, no matter how nervous we might be, how stammering our lips or how weak our knees.  Never entertain the thought that as a child of God, you are not qualified to minister the gospel, even if you do quake in your boots.  Our confidence is not in ourselves but in Him to honour his word and keep his promises but there’s a price to be paid in human terms for the privilege and the question is are we willing to pay it?.  Paul describes his “marks of the ministry” in 2 Corinthians 6: 3-10 “We give no offense in anything, that our ministry may not be blamed.  But in all things we commend ourselves as ministers of God: in much patience, in tribulations, in needs, in distresses, in stripes, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labors, in sleeplessness, in fastings;  by purity, by knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Spirit, by sincere love, by the word of truth, by the power of God, by the armor of righteousness on the right hand and on the left, by honor and dishonor, by evil report and good report; as deceivers, and yet true; as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold we live; as chastened, and yet not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing all things.”  These twenty nine marks are what stamped Paul’s ministry among the Jews and gentiles.  Later, in 2 Corinthians 11: 23-28 he tells us how he gained these marks: “Are they ministers of Christ?—I speak as a fool—I am more: in labors more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequently, in deaths often.  From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one.  Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren;  in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness—besides the other things, what comes upon me daily: my deep concern for all the churches.”  Reading these verses forces us to ask ourselves, how many of these mark our own ministries?

This current pandemic is already producing in the hearts of many a wave of enquiry about where the world is headed and what will our post-pandemic future be like.  Will I still have a job?  Will I get my job back?  Will my government survive when they run out of money?  Who can we trust?  We who know the Lord already have the answer: “Some trust in chariots, and some in horses; But we will remember the name of the Lord our God.” (Psalm 20:7) and (Proverbs 18:10) “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; The righteous run to it and are safe.”  “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). These are not just words of comfort, they are also powerful and true.

[ecotone99]

[MF] Seasons of the Gunslinger

Genesis 1:3 And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

Sun-baked, sun fried, sunburned, sun destroyed. Just another goddamn day in the sun. Jesus, will this sun ever go down?

Finally the sun dips below the horizon and that ball of fire gives me the rest I’ve been hoping for. I give a tug on the reins and my horse stops.

My left hand removes my hat and my right works through my sweaty hair. A deep breath of the already cooling air fills my lungs. For the first time in many hours I really look at the country I’m passing through and appreciate its beauty. The rocks, covered with colorful lichen, poke out through the bluish sagebrush. Low juniper trees outline the washes and draws that work through this mesa like veins.

Ahead, I spot my campsite for the night. A low ridge about a mile off to the south. Ought to be some wood there and the orientation of the ridge should block the wind if it kicks up. I'll also have a great view of my back trail. Not that I am expecting pursuit but I will have plenty of good light for an hour or more anyway.

There is a cluster of large sandstone boulders that will shield the fire and a small patch of cheatgrass for my horse. My gun belt and hat are set to the side to take full advantage of the cooling air. The horse gets a rub down and then a small fire heats a large cup of water. I drop a chunk of hard tack and another of jerky in the boiling water. I eat this poor man’s soup as I watch nightfall cover my back trail. When full night arrives, I douse the fire and rinse the cup.

Time to lean against a rock and listen to the night. It is finally cool and my eyes drift closed.

I am not jerked awake. I’m just suddenly aware that I am awake. My eyes open and I see the waning gibbous moon splashing it’s silver light over the open plain. I am aware of my horse and can hear it breathing as it dozes.

I’m aware of something else. I am no longer alone.

My hand snakes out for the Walker Colt in its holster and the large pistol swings up. It settles on the dark apparition that sits against a boulder, some ten feet away.

The shadowy figure doesn't flinch. It does not react at all.

I wait. I have found it wise that when you’ve done what you need to do, waiting is the best thing to do next. It is also the hardest thing to do.

The silence stretches. I notice that it is now truly silent. A normal night, with its bugs and beasties, hums with life and quiet sounds. Now there is a true deep silence that is so rare in the natural world.

It seems odd that I can’t see the face of the figure. In the light of the moon I can see most things. This shape seems to swallow all light.

I wait.

The man-shaped thing waits.

“Alright, stranger, what brings you to my camp?” I guess I lose this waiting game but I’m still the one with the pistol.

Smoothly, the figure leans forward. Just for a moment, the hatless figure is just blackness and burning eyes. Then, as if it is moving out of a shadow that does not exist, I see fine, delicate features. Those eyes, they burn above an angelic smile for just a breath and then they resolve to a perfect black. The smile holds and I confirm my suspicion that this is a man.

“You called and I am here.” The smile remains as he speaks.

“I believe you're mistaken, friend. I’ve been actively avoiding folk for quite some time now. Can’t think of man nor beast I’d call to me.” My voice stays as steady as I would like, mostly.

“I have been called a beast, The Beast actually.” The smile seems to stretch even further, although it doesn’t seem possible. He chuckles a bit then and leans back. “And I suppose I am often mistaken for a man.”

“Listen Mister, I wouldn’t say I like killing but I have done it before. Please convince me not to shoot you just so I can go back to sleep.” I try to make sense of what the hell is going one but make no headway. I have never seen a man so comfortable with a steady hand holding a gun on him.

“Sean, let’s dispense with the banter and get down to business. I’ve had just about every threat imaginable leveled at me and yet… here I am.” My guest spreads his hands and executes a seated bow.

The name he calls me surprises me. I can’t remember the last time I was called by that name. Must have been in the old country, I am sure. Even on my Army papers I had put Michael instead. That name was easier to get rid of than my accent, but even that faded. It faded just like everything else, ground down in that war.

“Do you and I know each other, mister? ‘Cause I can’t seem to place you.” I am feeling the weight of my pistol so I lower my hand to a more comfortable position. “I haven’t heard that name in seven years or more.”

“Right, right, but I know your name, Not just the name you used in New York City and in the ‘Fightin’ 69th’. Not even the one you used back in Ireland. I know your true name. The one my Father called you when he breathed life into you.” The man tugs at his chin and looks up.”Shall I tell you some of my names or have you guessed yet?”

My mind scrambles and kicks like an armadillo digging his burrow. My heartbeats get faster and I feel something welling up inside me. A sick dizzy feeling that makes me shiver involuntarily. The gun sinks lower and I think…”Diabhal.” My mind slips to Irish in my surprise. “You’re Old Scratch aren’t you.”

The Devil’s smile seems to stretch again this time I know for sure no human could smile so wide.

“I’m not even thirty yet. Is it my time already?” My heart sinks, not sure if I want the answer.

“Oh, no. Sean Michael O’Flannery.” the way he says my name each syllable sounds like the strike of a bell reverberating in the back of my eyes. “Not your time. I’ll tell you a secret. Your choices change the time of your death all the time. Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.” He begins to laugh now. A deep melodious laugh that gets just a little shrill before it cuts off.

“So what is it that I can do for you then?” I say as I put the big Walker back in it’s worn holster.

“Oh young man we’ll get to that. We’ll definitely get to that. But first things at the beginning, end things at the end and my things all along the way. Let’s talk about your call and your desires first. We can save the other bits and pieces for dessert.” His hands begin to dance around each other in a washing motion.

“I didn't call…” I start to protest. He holds up his hand and shakes his head.

“Skip the silly and frankly, childish word games. We both know you wanted me to come to make you into something else. To make you unstoppable, a force of nature to bring justice and settle old wrongs. I really thought you would call me during the war. But you held so tightly to my Father then.” He sighs and shakes his head in such an over dramatic way it is almost comical. “Now you accept reality. Even though He is omniscient and omnipresent He rarely gets involved. But I am always here.”

I feel the old familiar rush. The anger and battle lust that has made me who I am and kept me alive. “He NEVER comes! Never answers!” The venom in my voice is fueled by all those memories bubbling suddenly to the fore. My breathing is fast and my hands clench.

The man who claims to be a fallen angel just smiles and nods approvingly. “Yes, Sean. You see, that is why I came. That right there. I am eternal and I have hated for so long. It is always refreshing to see it burn anew.” A pipe seems to appear from nowhere in his left hand and a lit match in his right. He leans back and puffs. “Eternal but busy, Sean. Do you want to hear my offer or not?”

"I'll hear your words and I will keep in mind you are the Prince of Lies as you go." I say.

"The Prince of so much more than lies but I accept your sceptical condition." He puffs again at the pipe and exhales a cloud of smoke so dense it seems solid. “Sean my lad, I have seen you. Seen your heart laid bare. I have heard you. I have heard that voice inside you that speaks only the truth."

"Cease your own word games and speak plainly." I say. "I'm tired and you have said you are busy. Let's get on with this so I can deny you and go back to sleep."

His finger tips touch beneath his chin with the pipe clenched in his teeth, his shark smile stretching again. "Ah, the sweet taste of hubris." He leans in and his eyebrows arch. "Sean, my boy; faith and fear both require you to believe in something that doesn't exist. I see you have put aside your faith. My offer is to take away your fear. Fear of death, fear of hurt, fear of failure all gone. I will make you immune to disease and plague. I will make you immune to damage from accident or violence. I wish to make you the Achilles of your day. An indomitable warrior who fears nothing on the earth. I will do this, not for your soul, but for your service. My Father has cast me down for my grievous offenses and I have long ago accepted that. My goal is not to add souls to my empire of pain and torture. I will earn the forgiveness of my Father by assisting the development of his creation. The term of service will be one hundred years. You will take my directions during this time and at the completion of the term you will go to your just reward."

He leans back and his smile turns into a smirk. He curls his leg to his chest. He rests elbow on knee and cheek on hand. Waiting.

My mind races. The possibilities and opportunities fill me and I ran through the things I might do. I have wished for this exact power over death so many times. I am suddenly shocked to realize I am instantly considering this. A deal with the devil.

Cautiously, I ask, "100 years of invulnerability in exchange for me doing things for you? I cannot be your slave for a century. There is no advantage for me."

He laughs and slaps his leg "Oh, no not a slave. Just when I say something needs done or someone needs taken care of, you do it."

"Too open ended." I scoff.

"How about once a month." He counters quickly.

"Four times, once per season."I fire back.

"Done." He says.

"I get to choose whether to do it or not." I push a little.

His face goes stern and cold. "Impossible." He says flatly.

"I had to try.' I grin.

His smile returns and his hand comes toward me in one graceful flowing motion,"Seal it." He says and the words are in my head as well as in my ears.

I stare at that hand. I think of all the tales about making a deal with the devil. Have I heard of one that didn't go badly in the end? Somewhere in my memory is a story of a Saint that renounced God and turned to the underworld for power. Later he was able to have an archbishop or cardinal burn his contract. Of course I know well the story of the fool Faustus who sold his soul and wasted the magic he was given.

"I become your assassin for a century. Four times per year, one for each season. In return I keep my soul but become immune to all damage, all the time?" I attempt to state the deal as I understand it.

"Yes." He says " I have things that need done and I judge that you can do what I need. I have tried other contracts when I had different aims but now…" he shrugs."Your soul is yours to do with what you choose. It is much more...entertaining that way. Besides I have others that must be collected. So they can begin their torment and before they do too much harm."

"How long do I have to make this decision." I ask.

"Until I leave. So a few minutes." His smile is huge.

Slowly I extend my hand. Thinking about what this means for me and for the things I have fought for in my life. As I take his hand in a firm grip, I can't help smiling. The smile feels huge and I am sure it stretches impossibly far across my face.

Second Timothy 3:1-5 “But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty.

Chilled to the bone, icy as a whore’s heart...cold as ice. Just another cold empty night. Jesus is the goddamn sun ever going to come up?

Finally the sun begins to lighten the sky and the temperature begins to rise. The truck rolls to a halt in the gravel. I brush the stray pieces of windshield off my lap.

I sit alone. It’s always my preference I suppose, but today it seems particularly fitting. I’m expecting company but I will enjoy this peace while I can. I reckon I’ll come out of this deal just about the way I went in. The warm sunshine filters through the trees and the morning breeze stirs my hair.

The road I have been driving down has ended. I know I lost my pursuers some hours ago but I just kept on driving. A feeling of being on the edge of a cliff comes over me. It is the date I have thought of a million times.

I don’t bother getting out. I just lean back into the upholstered seat and stare out the ragged hole that used to hold the windshield. My pack sits on the seat next to me and I reach and pull it over. I dig in one of the side pouches and dump out a can of Hoppe’s Number 9 gun cleaning solvent and several boxes of special order pistol ammunition before I find the flask.

I have no food in the bag. I don’t need to eat. Haven’t felt hunger pangs in a century now. I still like to eat a well prepared dish, but I have learned to keep it small. I eat only rarely and when I really want to because I also don’t have to shit if I don’t eat. I can’t describe the pleasure of not having to indulge bodily functions.

I am a living stereotype when it comes to whiskey and being Irish though. The burn is familiar and I take half the contents in one drink, knowing that my “condition” will knock the buzz down almost immediately.

I don’t need to sleep anymore either but I still enjoy it quite a bit. The hum in my ears from the whiskey and the sun beam hitting my face makes me drowsy. My head lolls back on the head rest, and my eyes drift closed.

I am not jerked awake. I am simply aware of a presence where a moment ago there was thin air. Several low sounds penetrate my drowsy sleep. I haven’t been afraid for a century. I’m just curious what is happening next to me.

I look to my right and see the old bastard rifling through my pack. It appears that he is laying my worldly possessions out on the dash of the pickup. The sun is fully up now and I guess that it is probably seven thirty.

“Live hard and die young. Isn’t that the saying you used? For your plans after the war?”asks the eternal being I have come to call Samael.

“I look at you and I see what happens when you only do only the first and not the second.”He speaks a bit absently and then looks up at me.

I feel that same feeling I always get when I lock gazes with an angel. It is a strange mixture of trepidation and excitement. It is the fear of a being that is orders of magnitude more powerful than I am; combined with the sure and certain knowledge that I am in some unknowable way, a superior creation of God.

My human mind has struggled for many decades to understand the complicated and convoluted history of the choirs of angels and their presence in the many theologies of the world. Never with much success. The truth as I understand it, about the twisted blending of all religions that represents the actual situation, is that there exists in this ancient and expanding universe more than we can understand. It may be more than we should understand. Suffice it to say all the religions have it right and all of them have it wrong.

Samael looks at me and says.

”So we come full round and find ourselves in the same place. It does remind me of when I sacrificed myself to myself. Oh Sean, that was a long nine days I tell you now, but the knowledge gained was worth it all.”

He closes his right eye tightly and looks at me as if I am meant to understand his cryptic crap.

I look at him quizzically. I have seen and done so many things. Read and heard so many tales. It is difficult for my mortal mind to hold and then retrieve it all. Slowly it occurs to me. I get a mental picture of Samael as One-Eyed Odin from Norse legend. He is said to have hung himself from the magical tree, Yggdrasil, and stabbed himself with his own spear. This sacrifice of himself to himself was made to show his willingness to sacrifice everything for knowledge. The knowledge he sought was the secret of magical runes. He hung that way staring into the Well of Urd for nine days until he understood all the magic.

“An Odin reference, Samael? Are you telling me that was you as well?”

I roll my eyes and shrug.

“I guess I pictured you as more of a Loki.”

Samael takes a cartridge for my pistol, a Linebaugh .500 and makes it roll across the knuckles of his right hand. It seems to disappear from one side and reappear on the other. I know this is only the dexterity of his fingers and no magic trick. I have learned this trick and many others by watching him.”Oh no. That was Asmodeus. If you knew him better you would understand.”

I don’t bother continuing this discussion. It isn’t what either of us want to talk about.

I wait a moment and I say, “Today was 400.”

His grin disappears. He looks at me seriously and says, “Yes it is. Is it true? Does time heal all wounds?”

“100 years and four seasons in each. I have often wondered why you didn’t tell me that those years would not be consecutive. Why you never mentioned that I would be dragged willy nilly into all of history and prehistory on your errands”

My voice has the implacable push of my thoughts behind it and I ignore his questions.

“I suppose that being a timeless being, with the ability to travel in the fourth dimension you know as time, as easily as the other three; it didn’t seem all that important.”

He shrugs and looks out toward the mountains to the east of us.

“I probably would have said yes anyway. Then, I certainly would. I am not sure about now. The things I know and have seen… I don’t know.”

The weight of my heavy soul seems to crush the breath from me. I voice the thought that has been running through my mind since I lost my pursuers some time after midnight.

“Samael, the lines keep running through my head.

I will show you something different. Your shadow at morning striding behind you, Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust. I was never sure what T.S. Elliot was talking about in The Wastelands poem but I think I know now.”

Suddenly Samael turns to me with an unholy intensity.

“So what now? Is that what you want to ask me? The answer is you are the one who knows that answer my boy. I spoke the truth to you when I said you can go your way and await your just reward. My Father’s gift of free will” He flips his hand in a dismissive motion.

I feel angry at this for some reason.

“So you just release me like a worn knife that cannot take another sharpening? Take the gifts away and walk off?” My voice begins to rise, “You had me put a lot of credits into your account with your Father, Yahweh! Did I commit 400 sins or 400 services? I don’t even know anymore. The lines are so blurred. I can’t see where I have been, let alone where I am going! My shadow before and behind is invisible and I fear this unknown. Goddamnit! I have seen fear in a handful of dust! I am an old man and I don’t know what comes next!”

I slump down in the seat again, the words leaving my mouth as a whisper.

“I don’t even know what I have left.”

Samael turns on the seat. He places his hand on my shoulder. He looks at me with eyes that are both patrician and paternal.

“I will help you if you want me to, Sean.”

I can’t help it. My eyes mist and my throat gets tight. I won’t cry. But Lord I want to.

“Sean, you have done me a great service, there is no doubt. Look at me, tell me what you want? Let’s use your poem as a metaphor then. Are you Sybil of Cumae that Elliot stole from an older source for his opening lines? Given the gift of long life but now trapped in a cage as a curiosity. Do you feel trapped in your long lifespan?

Sibylla ti theleis; respondebat illa: apothanein thelo...Do you want to die, Sean?”

His look is tender, his voice is soft, and the Latin from my favorite poem washes over me like a warm bath in winter.

“Perhaps you are the fisherman from the end of the poem? Will you be like him and use fragments to shore up the ruin? Will you carry on. Push on into the glorious land where Hercules and Beowulf await you? Will you stay with me and cross into legend as a hero?”

The energy flows in his words. Never increasing in volume but with the power of certainty, alluring and solid, infused throughout.

“I will do either for you, with an equal amount of love. For the first, just lay your head back and rest, forever. For the second, take my hand as you did once before. This time with no conditions on your immortality. Be your own man, bound to me only by, dare I say it, friendship.”

His left hand stays comfortingly on my shoulder as a symbol of the release that awaits in death. His right hand extends toward me, the same way I saw it all those years ago in the San Juan mountains of Colorado.

I think for a long time.

Slowly and deliberately I...

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