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genevawrenn · 1 year ago

Text

Fit & Bagi's conversation transcript about Philza and what ails him today (02/28/2024);

[/rp from 2 hours and 32 minutes in FitMC's VOD (2:32-2:42)]

FitMC : So have you heard any fofoca recently? Got any gossip, tea, drama? Anything?

Bagi : I haven't heard fofoca recently at least about me because I am waiting for y'know Tina to check her room, so we can have some new fofoca?

F : I see, I see, okay.

B : But um, do you know what's happening to Phil?

F : All I know, with Phil, ever since that stuff appeared on his shoulders he has been acting strange. His kids were both really worried about him. When I brought up a sensitive topic he seemed to get really upset with Tallulah, so I'm just—I don't think he is himself recently. Something is definitely bothering him or something's up.

Empanada : It's bad.

F : I don't know, what do you think? *Both read Em's sign.*

B : I agree with Empanada, it's really bad. Because Chayanne and Tallulah were really upset, like it didn't look like Phil. He seemed different, like maybe possessed?

F : Yeah, maybe, maybe.

B : With some disease, I don't know. And they ran away from him.

F : Which is definitely not normal.

B : That's really sad because Chayanne and Tallulah really really love Phil. And Phil looked like he was trying to get away from them. Going inside of dungeons alone and leaving them in the house. I don't know all weird, the weird thing about his shoulders, the purple thing on his shoulders, it looks like that crying obsidian you know?

F : Oh, wait a min—cause it's got like the purple in it?

B : Yeah, that glows a little bit?

F : Ramon do you have a crying obsidian on you? Put it on the ground, I just want to look at it real quick.

B : And I think they had one of those inside the lake, the little lake they have next to their house.

F : Oh interesting. It's like the same colour of purple.

B : Yeah. Do you think its a type of corruption or something? Like what happened to Slime when he was being—well I don't know...transformed by codes?

F : Oh, yeah. Mhm, I remember that. That seems to happen on this island, doesn't it?

B : Yea. Like a contamination or something.

F : Yea it could be a disease, yeah definitely he wasn't himself. *Looks at the obsidian again* But yeah, it looks the colour purple is almost identical to what was on him.

E : Crying obsidian sucks.

Ramon : So crying obsidian is toxic?

B : I don't think so. But maybe a piece of crying obsidian appearing at his place could mean something?

F : Hmmm, maybe.

B : It's not normal to have crying obsidian inside of lakes.

F : It's an unusual place for it to spawn.

B : Yeah, exactly. So it was put in there but, why? Just for decoration or different purposes? I mean it could be just decoration.

F : It's—it's a weird decoration if that's true.

E : I asked him on our birthday and he said its nothin'. I asked him why there was one in his pond it was there on our birthday.

B : Wait, Empanada, did he answer you?

F : He said it's nothing...hmmmm.

E : He said not to worry about it an its nothing :(

F : It must have some significance then it has too.

B : He said not to worry about, maybe it really...I don't know the meaning of this because I never went to the nether. Everyone talks about the nether but I was never there.

F : Yeah but crying obsidian is also useful for making weapons cause it can make respawn anchors which can be used as explosives.

B : Oh you remind me of something. Okay, okay let me try to remember this...Phil had a diamond backpack that the 'Federation' gave to him?

F : Yeah, yeah must be nice.

B : No but it's really weird because the Federation isn't giving anyone anything because they want us to buy stuff.

E : Chay burned it.

B : That was really weird because the backpack came with a letter from the Federation, but not sure if its from the Federation. And a really weird backpack, a diamond backpack and the bunnies are trying to sell us everything so it doesn't even make sense for them to give Phil a diamond backpack. They would at least charge something, like, give me at least a thousand coins for the backpack, I don't know.

F : So you are saying that Phil didn't get it from the Federation?

B : I think maybe its something else, not the Federation.

F : I didn't even think of that.

B : He got a backpack from someone because think about it, the bunnies they don't even give us free food. Every time we need food they aren't even giving us food. Why would they give us diamond backpacks, that doesn't even make sense?

F : You are absolutely right. Like, I didn't even think of that.

B : If you stop to think about it, the shoulders and the back was exactly the place he was contaminated. So maybe it's related to the backpack?

F : You are right, it was all over his back, I didn't even think of that.

E : I listened to Phil's and Lulah's convo and he said he did it to protect them from HIM

[Fit mutes and tells chat : You ever talk to someone and just be like 'I'm fucking stupid?' That's how I feel right now.]

B : Oh yeah, I remember that Phil said that he was trying to protect the kids from 'him'. And he said a couple times the word him but no one in specific that we know, I think. It was always 'him'.

F : But he specifically said 'him', right?

B : Yeah, don't know who 'him' is but he was talking about 'him'.

R : Tio Phil was being a little harsh on Chay and Lulah.

E : He got really mad at Tallulah.

F : You might be onto something Bagi, maybe it is some sort of like he is being possessed or something.

B : Here Fit, check this *gestures to Em's sign*

E : Called her a stupid egg HE WOULD NEVER

F : *Reads aloud the sign* Oh you are absolutely right, Phil would never call any of his children stupid. Something is up, yup.

B : So if you see Phil and he's kinda weird, that's probably what's happening.

F : Well I am glad we had this chit chat so we are both on the same page. Okay we need to be really careful.

B : If he needs anything, oh yeah, and we need to be careful that's right. Because we don't know what he is up to.

F : Cause yeah if he's berating his own eggs, insulting his own eggs, it could turn south very quickly.

*Ramon nods*

F : I'm worried, Ramon.

E : Don't ask him questions, he will think they told us more.

F : Never a dull moment on this island.

B : We should keep the kids safe. Chay and Tallulah can stay here if they need, they already know that but if they need anything they can come to us.

F : That's a good idea yeah, as long as they have somewhere to go.

B : I mean for now I really don't know if I can help Phil, so I am just trying to keep the kids safe.

F : That's the most important.

B : The real Philza would appreciate it.

F : Yeah, keeping the kids safe that is the first priority. That's good stuff, isn't that right you two? *Addressing Em and Ramon who nod.*

B : I think Phil needs to deal with it.

F : It's always something on this island, Bagi, it's always something.

B : There's always something.

[Bonus transcript between Fit and Ramon 3:09-3:12 relating to Philza's affliction]

Fit : Ramon.

*Ramon nods after they both teleport home from BBH's place*

F : When we were talking with Bagi about Philza it made me realise something. I remember, a long time ago, this was a few months ago, remember when I was dealing with all the black concrete? Like all the dark matter that was on the island?

I specifically remember Philza mentioning a thing. If I recall correctly, he mentioned something called the 'Ender King'. And I am starting to wonder if maybe that's what's been messing with him. Cause think about it; the crying obsidian, the obsidian, that's what you find in the End Dimension, right?

*Ramon nods*

F : This things called the Ender King...he thought he was seeing things and we thought maybe he was just imagining them—but now we can see there is something on him. Something we can see with our own eyes. I just wonder if it's related.

Ramon : So now it's not only in his mind?

F : Exactly cause at first we thought maybe he was just imagining these things but it's clear this is actually some sort of outside force. And that's why I am a little bit more concerned now. That's why I am way more concerned.

R : That sounds dangerous. Not only for him but everyone.

F : Yeah, cause if his behaviour towards Tallulah and Chayanne yesterday, or the other day, is any indication then this could be a problem for a lot of us. So we really gotta keep our eye on him and support him anyway we can.

F : *sighs* But, man, when it rains it pours. Cause we have our own problems to deal with, Ramon. Especially tomorrow, I mean Friday. I can't ever remember what day it was, I am so frazzled. So much going on at all times on this island. When it rains it pours.

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gutsgutsgutsfordinner · 2 months ago

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Nine Sols AU Time

We're calling it the Bloody Knuckles AU because we like shit on the nose round these parts

And because Yi punching things sounded sick enough to dredge me from a slump, so we're running with it.

In this AU, Yi is more of a fist fighter than the mystical blade-fu that Eigong and Jiequan use.

(Visuals pending, i am a rusty, crusty ass drawer of things)

Branch point is one of the last in-person meetings Yi has with Heng in canon, where she refuses a place on New Kunlun and he leaves instead of coming inside.

Here, Yi decides to bear the brunt of another confrontation with his parents to spend a little more time with his sister, a comfort he has been missing through sleepless nights at work on the Eternal Cauldron.

The experience alters his priorities and trajectory substantially, natch, and it isn't long before he withdraws his support and expertise from the project; if his sister, the one person who has been with him and supported him always, and literally saved his life, will not join him in this endeavor, then he will not leave her behind.

This goes over extremely poorly, but not so terribly that Eigong kills him. That will come later, because even in the reality where Yi makes the correct decisions sometimes, he still has horrible taste in role models.

He opts instead to return home and help support his sister and ailing parents, and this transition is a bit of an undertaking. He sees problems and thinks of technological solutions that he no longer has the infrastructure to support, and meets with constant frustration.

But he does eventually come around to a simpler life, embracing blisters and Bloody Knuckles. Eh? Ehhh?

As tempting as it is to dig into the meat of Programmer/Scientist-turned-Farmer Yi struggling to reconnect with his hometown, we're not stopping here.

Some years come and go, and Yi builds a life. He works the fields and helps his neighbors, practices the Tao best he can, and spends as much time as he can with Heng. The symptoms of their species' death are mounting, more and more homes overtaken by fungal flowers, and every moment is precious.

So of course, Eigong picks about then to tie up some loose ends. She became increasingly paranoid after her star pupil cut and run, thinking that he must know about her responsibility for the disease killing them all. She leads force of state police and geno-soldiers to raze his village to the ground, under the auspices of culling a new, more virulent strain of the infection.

Yi tries to fight them off, smashes body armor and carapace until the skin peels from his knuckles, but he's overwhelmed. He tries to sacrifice himself to spare Heng from Eigong's blade, but instead she skewers both of them.

The Fusang sustains him as in the original, but he doesn't take a 500 year root nap this time.

Kuafu finds him just a short while after when he comes to mourn, and speeds Yi's recovery with modern medicine and a few jury-rigged modifications to the Jade System.

Yi wakes up with a fairly enormous chip on his shoulder; between years of manual labor and this second chin-clip from Death, he's all fury and hard lines. He's bigger, meaner, bereft; kindness and light were stolen from him. Between the roots and the Jade System, he's unsure if he can even rejoin Heng in the Dao.

With nothing to return to, and no future for himself, let alone his kind, his only line of action is obvious:

Return to New Kunlun and confront what it and his former fellows have become: the last bastion of his kind, and a black monument to sin.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

You can ask me things if you want. I'm gonna keep churning this out whether you like it or not, so get used to seeing this dumb mf in your nine sols tags

#nine sols #au #alternate universe #fanfic #fan fiction #punchline #bloody knuckles au #bloody #knuckles

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sugarpopss · 11 months ago

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Lamb, Pig, It's All The Same

Alright here's more Aegon with gout fic. idk. I don't have a tag list but I am gonna tag @bucknastysbabe bc I bounced some of this off of her before it sat in my drafts for two months, and @who-told-you-this-was-butter and @khaleesihel bc they're my howl drool cream over Aegon buddies

Fem reader, Aegon being a pathetic whore but like in a fun sexy way

The gout preferred to strike at night. It would violently jerk Aegon from his slumber and have him crying out with the sudden pain, panicked thrashing hindered by both his afflicted joint and his swollen stomach-for your husband did so love to gorge himself into drowsiness, despite repeated warnings from the maesters and scoldings from his own mother.

It was Aegons gasping and crying that usually awoke you. The overwhelming panic you’d felt at the beginning of your marriage, when you’d known nothing of the crown princes illness-possibly by design, but you’d not be caught making the accusation-had been overcome in the months since the first, terrifying night. By the time the summertime warmth of your wedding had frozen into winter, you were wrapping your arms around Aegon before you were even fully awake. He always leaned into you with all of his weight, seeking the comfort you provided him like a lamb searching for its mothers shadow.

“Hush, dearheart, it’ll fade. You know it will fade soon enough.”

It was all nonsense, really, that you murmured into his hair, but your soothing words and safe embrace gave Aegon something to anchor himself to while the pain ran its violent course. Despite the constant, grating irritation that usually marked Aegons presence in a room-and that ground your nerves to dust time and time again-his cries made your heart ache. Perhaps you were simply weak for a beautiful man in distress, because you always found yourself coming to his side when he glutted himself like a prized hog then whined so pathetically for you to soothe his belly.

When Aegon sniffled against your shoulder you just couldn’t help but to coo and stroke his hair. Nevermind the tears and mucus he was no doubt spreading all over the fine Myrish lace of your nightgown, the idiot usurper-your idiot usurper-was in pain and frightened. And although it surely made you a damnably terrible person, you found Aegon to be at his sweetest when he was reeling and needy. Not completely lost in the throes of the pain, of course, but when the attack began to ease and he nuzzled against your skin, seeking warmth and comfort and kind words and rewarding you with his gorgeous lilac eyes, red rimmed and watery, turned up to you with all of the mindless trust of a newborn lamb.

The knowledge that Aegon only sought your comfort because you happened to be closer at hand than a jug of wine did little to sour how much you enjoyed peppering kisses over his fever warm cheeks-cheeks which only seemed to grow fuller and rounder time trod on, but gout was not called the ‘fat mans disease’ for nothing. The fool was nearly incapable of self soothing without something in his mouth, a fact that had perhaps led your mind towards less appropriate thoughts of a hypothetical night upon which, after the pain had faded to a more manageable ache, you’d shrug off your nightgown and offer him your breast. You were confident that Aegon would take it eagerly, after all. Doesn’t every pathetic lamb need something to nurse?

Sometimes you gave up on holding him altogether and applied a cold herbal compress to his inflamed knee. As you sat on the edge of your own marital bed and pressed the damp, sticky rags to Aegons knee and watched him writhe and cry, your thoughts always grew strange. The affection-fine, perhaps a little bit of power as well-you felt while holding and comforting your husband went quiet. In its place arose thoughts of the Queen Consort tending to her own ailing Targaryen. You didn’t enjoy these thoughts, but they came nonetheless. Perhaps these men with dragons blood in their veins were somehow prone to affliction, or perhaps it was as simple as the fact that a loyal wife and a nursemaid were very much interchangeable.

Even if you were slightly uncertain whether you’d care for Aegons pain at all if he wasn’t so beautiful and needy and helpless when it struck.

Perhaps this man, this family, this city-they all brought out the worst in you. Or perhaps you were just a little too fond of your husbands flushed face and hitching cries.

#aegon targaryen ii #house of the dragon #house of the dragon fanfic #aegon targaryen fic #aegon targaryen x reader #aegon ii x reader #chubby!aegon ii #my writing #alright lets go with the feedism angst #this isn't even really feedism??? idk

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sea-snail-mail · 7 months ago

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/karamrafeek/754196219096694784/help-karam-al-nabih-and-his-family-rebuild-their?source=share

Hello, I hope you and your family are well. Can you please help me recycle the post on my account? 🌺 And help rescue my family from the war in Gaza? 🙏🙏

Hello everyone, I am Karam Al Nabih from Gaza. All my dreams have been shattered now in Gaza. I am a software engineer in my last semester, but now my home, my dreams, and my university have been destroyed.

All my dreams have been destroyed 😞 I hope you share , support and donate

Repoooost & donate please after read my story, that's urgent! 🇵🇸🍉

Please don't skip helping me and my sick mother to rebuild our lives. Any donation, even a small one, will make a difference 🙏🙏

Donate even if it is 10 euros or 15 euros or more، The smallest donation makes a difference in my life

is currently at 11000€/20000€

I sincerely appreciate your help and look forward to your continued support🥺❤️

https://gofund.me/7c433301

Vatted by @nabulsi @90-ghost

Hello! Im truly so sorry about everything, thank you for reaching out I'll do as much as I can to help!

Guys please donate to and share Karam's gofundme. They are close to their goal with €11,273/€20,000.

Here is a link to the nabulsi verification post: link

and a link to them on a gaza support spreadsheet (75): link

Here is a link to Karam's main post in case you are unable to open it: link

And here is their story written from their gofundme in case you have not seen it along with extra information:

"Meet Karam Rafiq Al-Nabih, a resilient 23-year-old whose dreams were shattered by the devastating October events. Once filled with aspirations of graduating as a successful engineer, Karam's life took a drastic turn when his family's home and his university were destroyed by bombings.

Now, Karam and his family find themselves in dire circumstances, residing in a makeshift tent with inadequate necessities of life. To add to their plight, Karam's mother battles incurable diseases exacerbated by the harsh conditions of displacement, extreme cold, and lack of proper care. Their only ray of hope lies in the possibility of seeking refuge outside the Gaza Strip, where Karam can continue his studies and provide better care for his ailing mother. However, the journey to a better life comes with a hefty price tag. The coordination alone costs $5,000 per person, not to mention other essential expenses.

Together, we can make a difference in Karam's life and help alleviate their suffering. Your generous contribution will go directly towards funding their travel expenses and providing them with the opportunity for a brighter future.

Every donation, no matter how small, brings us one step closer to helping Karam and his family rebuild their lives. Let's come together and show them that they're not alone in their struggle.

Donate today and be a part of Karam's journey towards hope and renewal. Thank you for your kindness and compassion.

Sharing is caring

The cost of coordination per person is $5,000. This means that the travel cost for me and my mother is $10,000. The cost of treating my mother abroad is $3,000. The cost of completing my studies is

$3000. The cost of living in Egypt is $4000. The Go FundMe commission is $640. This means that this equals therequired amount. In my account to cover all costs"

#free palestine #palestine #free gaza #gaza #free rafah #rafah #fundraiser #gofundme #gaza gofundme #gaza fundraiser #signal boost #vetted gofundme #vetted gfm

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druidshollow · 1 year ago

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Wandering Aimlessly with Everlasting Joy and Many Small Flowers, One Quick Glance debate Eleven Rivers' health, and what should be done about it.

(this is an iterator logs-style thing I wrote for my oc lore- i havent finished it but im posting it anyways lmao) ((cw for ableist language))

MSF: I call upon the Act of Indecision.

WAEJ: Wait-

MSF: I have no intention of changing my stance, and it seems neither does Wandering Aimlessly with Everlasting Joy. I propose we bring it to vote. Unless Wander wants to change his mind?

WAEJ: No. If it needs to come to the act, then so be it.

?: What say the rest of the Council?

?: If the act has been called, then it is law.

WAEJ: Before we vote please consider the morality of this situation- we are all aware of the emotional intelligence of the iterators. What would Eleven Rivers say?

MSF: Self-preservation is natural instinct, he could only be expected to disagree with this decision. As their parents, we must make these difficult decisions for them. I am closer to Rivers than anyone else. I can assure you all that he is suffering, with no evidence of getting any better.

WAEJ: There is- just a moment- here. There is evidence that unstable neuron disease is treatable, that there are ways to ease their suffering and even decrease their memory loss. This research by Flight to the Sun, Homeward Descent and A Fleck of Flame prove this. Please, look it over.

MSF: ...I am just as aware of Flight to the Sun, Homeward Descent's research as the rest of you. We have tried these methods with Eleven Rivers. Here- records of the memory arrays reformat of 1233.864. His memory remains just as spotty as before, if not worse. This chart shows the increase in lapses of thought- something quite traumatic for an iterator to endure.

MSF: They were created with such incredible neural networks, minds we cannot even hope to comprehend living with. For a being of their status, holding thousands of memories and tens of trains of thought at once are entirely normal. For these thoughts to be interrupted is mortifying for them. When Rivers is shocked, for a moment, there is near nothing.

WAEJ: This is a symptom of UND. All iterators ailed with it experience this.

MSF: Of course. But Eleven Rivers is especially distressed by it. He has been more moody and aggressive since he's been getting worse.

?: Aggressive?

MSF: In his conduct with his group. I would think Wandering Aimlessly with Everlasting Joy would agree, having seen how he speaks to Glass Incident.

WAEJ: ...It is true that Glass has been uncomfortable with him.

MSF: He is lashing out, disturbing his group. If you will look at this chart here, I have graphed the increase in shocks and, in neuron fly analysis, the increase in anger. It is my belief that his suffering is only being exasperated, and that he will only grow increasingly aggressive.

?: Do you think Eleven Rivers could be a threat to the rest of his group?

MSF: I believe so, if not directly than indirectly.

WAEJ: Taboo law protects us, and protects his group as well. When he and the twins quarrel we split them up. Yes, it is true that his symptoms are worsening, and yes, he is growing more frustrated, but if what Many Small Flowers, One Quick Glance has demonstrated supports anything, it's the fact that he is triggered by his suffering! As their parents it is our duty to eleviate that pain!

MSF: He's treatment resistant. I've demonstrated that, if you've been paying attention.

WAEJ: It doesn't make sense. It's a science, Flowers, on a base level they are all the same!

MSF: I've never seen Glass Incident lose herself in a shocking fit before.

?: Your professionalism, please, you two.

MSF: Apologies, High Councilmen.

MSF: The depth of my argument is in the fact that Eleven Rivers has been resistant to every attempt I've made to help him. Here's another record- a partial neuron fly reset from the date 1229.236. The same as my last example was documented- brief improvement followed by a heavy decline.

?: We see he is being disturbed by his flies more and more. What is causing this increase in active UND symptoms?

MSF: The hardest part. We do not know.

WAEJ: There are teams working on finding the source of his new symptoms. They have only been at it for two major cycles.

?: That is a long time, in the smaller scheme of things.

MSF: Perhaps it would help relax you all to the idea if I demonstrated how his shut-down would work. If I may.

MSF: These are the blueprints for the Demolishers. They are designed to be as efficient as possible. It will only take 60 minor cycles for the demolition to be complete if we deploy fifteen Demolishers. Eleven Rivers will feel no pain. His power will be shut off beforehand, all his neural processes cancelled, and his puppet will be removed beforehand, as a sign of respect. He will wake right up again, perhaps as something easier done by.

WAEJ: This isn't what he would want. It's wrathful to end his life without him ever even knowing.

MSF: Wrathful? I am only concerned with his and all the other corners' well-being.

#druid writes #oc posting #rain world oc #rw ancient oc #flowers #wander #flowers is falsifying evidence here btw!! hes literally fucking lying to get what he wants #gaslights the entire far north council. shows them fake evidence and says that he has rivers best interests at heart #ableism #cw ableism

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junjiya · 7 months ago

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/karamrafeek/754196219096694784/help-karam-al-nabih-and-his-family-rebuild-their?source=share

Hello, I hope you and your family are well. Can you please help me recycle the post on my account? 🌺 And help rescue my family from the war in Gaza? 🙏🙏

All my dreams have been destroyed 😞 I hope you share , support and donate

Repoooost & donate please after read my story, that's urgent! 🇵🇸🍉

Donate even if it is 10 euros or 15 euros، The smallest donation makes a difference in my family's life!!🙏🙏

https://gofund.me/7c433301

Vatted by @nabulsi @90-ghost

hi, of course. I do not have the funds to donate at the moment, but I will when I can. for now I will share. here is the link to the campaign.

“Karam Rafiq Al-Nabih, a resilient 23-year-old whose dreams were shattered by the devastating October events. Once filled with aspirations of graduating as a successful engineer, Karam's life took a drastic turn when his family's home and his university were destroyed by bombings.”

“Now, Karam and his family find themselves in dire circumstances, residing in a makeshift tent with inadequate necessities of life. To add to their plight, Karam's mother battles incurable diseases exacerbated by the harsh conditions of displacement, extreme cold, and lack of proper care.”

“Their only ray of hope lies in the possibility of seeking refuge outside the Gaza Strip, where Karam can continue his studies and provide better care for his ailing mother. However, the journey to a better life comes with a hefty price tag. The coordination alone costs $5,000 per person, not to mention other essential expenses.”

“Every donation, no matter how small, brings us one step closer to helping Karam and his family rebuild their lives.”

#palestine #gaza #free palestine #free gaza #all eyes on palestine #all eyes on gaza #boost #pls rb

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fatuismooches · 1 year ago

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Hello smooches, its been a while since i popped up here. Been busy with school since i missed like a whole semester bcs i was hospitalized 💀 now i have to catch up with everything.. (pls send help-) anyway, I hope u and the others are doing well 🙏💞

Also, i want to share a very messy Capitano brainrot or a very random thought that have been plaguing my mind for the past few weeks 💀 and its about him having separation anxiety (or fear of losing someone he loves), especially towards *cough* fragile!reader *cough*

I know it is VERY ooc of him, but to me just the thought of someone like him having that just tug a string in my heart 😔

Just think about it, that man must have been through a LOT before he became known as the strongest individual in teyvat and being feared by many people, even being called a monster bcs of how strong he is when he is on the battlefield. Even how bloody his hands are, there's still "someone" (cough reader cough) who really cares/loves him, accept whoever he is and makes him happy. But suddenly that person fell sick and their health keeps deteriorating everyday while he doesn't know what to do to make his sick lover better? (Sure, he can protect reader from any harm. But, can he protect them from getting unknown disease?) Don't mind me, i'll just lie down here and cry-

Also i have this scenario in my head, like the way he walked so fast as soon as he finally touches the front door of their shared home when he came back from expedition just to find reader. He NEEDS to see them with his own eyes, even though all of his subordinates and their house attendants already told him that reader is fine on the letter he recieved everytime he asks how's the condition of his sick lover.

The moment he sees reader, weakly trying to walk towards him to welcome him, he just basically grabbing onto them and hugged them and they can hear tiny quiet aborted breaths coming from under his.. Helmet(?), mumbling breathy words that sound jumbled together but due to their proximity they can vaguely make out a 'it's okay, they're here, they're still here.. and alive.. and not gone..' Reader, after hearing that and seeing him like this for the first time, it really made their heart squeeze painfully and hugged him tighter

Again i'm so sorry if this doesn't make any sense, i really need to get it out of my head ASAP but i also tried to make it as not messy as possible 😭😭 anyways, i really hope that u have an amazing day smooches! 🙏🛐💞

(It seems that everyone already completed Fontaine really fast, and then there's me who barely have time to play and missed some events in 3.8 too 😭 æügh- rip primogems 😔 also, Neuvillette.. the temptation of wanting to pull for him is too strong after seeing his drip marketing 😩)

-🥝

🥝 ANON!!! OH MY GOD I MISSED U SM. I WAS WORRIED BUT IM SO GLAD YOU’RE OKAY. Ahh that sounds really stressful I hope you’re making sure to rest and take breaks too :( *hugs you* But I am doing well, thank you 💞💞

But OUH. YOU RETURNED WITH SOME HEART-BREAKING DIDNT YOU 😭. Noooo the way you described his past makes me so sad :( Yes, there are a lot of people who respect him, but of course there will always be people scared of him. His great reputation won’t stop rumors from floating around, but he’s come to accept that. Especially when he has someone as lovely and kind as you, who shows their love without a moment’s hesitation, what other people think doesn’t really matter. Really, he’s come to value your opinion so much, he always takes what you say seriously even when it’s so obvious you’re joking.

OUCHHH I CANT EVEN PUT IT INTO WORDS. He’s so used to fighting things, things that have a physical form of course. That’s how he can protect you. But what can he do when sickness has no form? What use is he when he can’t cut through what’s ailing you with his sword? His hands are made for battle and killing but there is nothing he can kill that would make you better.

Well now you’ve got me thinking about that too 😭 When he walks in he doesn’t even acknowledge his staff, just walks straight to your room to make sure you’re okay. I feel like the Fatui soldiers in his squad have grown to the point where they try to get everything done as soon as possible just so their captain can have even just a moment more of time to spend with you.

He would get so worried just seeing you out of bed, his heart rate would spike for a second and quickly support you and get you back to bed. But first he would just hold you tight, enough so that he can hear your heartbeat, feel your warmth and pulse, and know that you’re still truly here with him. He just needs to know you’re alive, he often finds his hands near your chest and wrist, to feel you breathe in and out. It’s really comforting to Capitano considering how he deals with death every day. After those few words he lets out, you know he didn’t mean for you to hear them, but now you have and you’ll do your best to reassure him. Just guide his big hand to your heart and let him feel the beat of your heart, how as long as he’s by your side you’ll swear to keep it beating for him :(

THANK YOU FOR THIS 🥝 ANON I’ve been missing Capitano a lot and your brain rots with him never fail 😫For the sake of my heart fragile reader got better thank you very much <3 And don’t worry about Fontaine or Genshin in general! It’s not going away and you should focus on yourself and your life first :) But when you do play I promise you’ll have a great time, Fontaine is very pretty and relaxing :) (Yes… join me in pulling for Neuvillette >:)))

#smooches talks #🥝 anon #fragile reader <3 #capitano love notes <3 #GIVING U A HUGE HUGE AN KITH 🥝 ANON!! I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING AN AMAZING DAY AS WELL LOVE <3

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silentbeauty998 · 4 months ago

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It's taking over me

It's taking everything I have

To keep myself from wanting to

Be apart of you

Inside my ailing mind

I bribe myself to think that

I am made for you

What can I do for us to make it through?

I know it's hard to see the wounds inside of me

I'm hiding underneath all my suffering

And even if I cry, I'll never close my eyes

To see through all the lies you bestowed to me

When all is clarity, the hate you gave to me

With all sincerity hurts like a disease

The wings that brought you here will take you far and near

But you will always be no angel to me

Lyrics by Mr. Kitty - 0% Angel

An emotional song and then there's me:

Catchy song 🤭

#mr kitty #electronic music #Spotify #song #music

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ammg-old2 · 2 years ago

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Chronic illness is well hidden from society.

Before I had a name for what ailed my body, I thought of myself as dehydrated and out of shape. I believed that the physical discomfort I’d experienced for years — numbness, pain, tingling and pins-and-needles sensations throughout my body — must be traceable to a cause of my own making. At that time, I looked at chronic illness as an outsider. It was a thing that happened to others, not to me.

That changed on Christmas Eve 2014, when a neurologist at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital read my M.R.I. and confirmed that I had relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis. This form of the disease, as the name implies, is characterized by unexpected flare-ups and periods of remission.

I was 26. I realized right then that my dream of being an artist, and the unconventional lifestyle I expected along with it, was over before it began. Four months after my diagnosis, I received my first infusion of high-dose intravenous steroids. In the fall of 2015, under the care of a neurologist, I began a monthly intravenous treatment of medication that blocks immune cells from entering the brain and spinal cord. I travel 65 miles to a site in the Hudson Valley for the infusion therapy.

Treatment has been successful, and I have remained in a state of remission while taking it as recommended — every 28 days, indefinitely. But even today, nine years into managing the illness, I struggle with the chronic nature of my condition. I am always aware that if lose my access to regular treatment, I’ll be at risk of severe disability.

Though I don’t like to admit it, every choice I make is determined by my need to maintain uninterrupted access to medical care. This has made my illness the truest navigational force of my life. Rather than orient myself to the cycle of the moon, I orient myself to the cycle of infusion. And it has become a system in my creative work. My body is a clock.

Every 28 days, I point the camera toward myself to document my illness and care. I have used my time as a patient in the infusion suite, a place where I sometimes feel powerless, to reclaim my autonomy as an artist and photographer.

In the infusion suite, both my body and my mind become containers for information. My body holds the new intelligence of the medical drip. As the fluid flows through my body and into my bloodstream, my mind is usually inundated with information from the staff.

Since my diagnosis I’ve thought often of my aunt, who has lived with progressive multiple sclerosis for years. Without health insurance, she did not have access to advanced imaging, diagnostic testing, medication or lifestyle guidance until her disease was very advanced. Instead, she found ways to self-medicate. Now in her early 60s, she is immobile, hardly able to speak and unable to navigate the social programs for which she is eligible.

Whether or not we’re aware of it, we all live in fragile bodies that require tremendous care and attention to function. Each and every one of us exists on a spectrum of illness, often dipping in and out of it. And yet, we also exist in a culture where it is taboo to talk about being sick, and the taboo can allow shame to fester among those who are chronically ill.

Still, I choose not to dwell on the scarier moments of managing the disease — the psychological burden and angst caused by my symptoms as well as the precarity and inhumanity of health care access and costs in the United States. The sophisticated treatments that exist today make this the best time in history to live with multiple sclerosis — if you can get access to care. The politics of this cannot be avoided. To be sick is political.

Maintaining all the pieces to continue to receive care in the current system is exhausting and stressful to navigate. Patient education and advocacy have been critical to my health care experience.

I came of age and of illness after the Obama-era Affordable Care Act established protections for people with pre-existing and chronic conditions. Yet even with this framework and my participation in private insurance, now supplemented by my employer, the recurring thought of losing my coverage and being denied my medication causes me much distress.

We are not prepared for problems that cannot be solved, and living with that reality is part of being chronically ill. There is no practical end. How do we break the silence to begin to discuss pain, loss, a broken health insurance economy, overworked nurses and the precarity of care?

With the coming 2024 presidential election, there will surely be renewed calls to repeal and replace Obamacare. The threat and fear of losing access to care will loom for millions. Even with the recent and ongoing events of the Covid pandemic, an adequate and sustainable system remains out of reach. Hundreds of thousands of Americans have already lost and are still losing access to care as Medicaid pandemic protections expire.

Political responses to this crisis of care matter. But so do personal and artistic ones. What if chronic illness, long concealed and misrepresented by popular culture, was made more visible? What if it was more often a subject for art?

#politics #american politics #medicine #healthcare #disability #ableism #insurance #medical insurance #photography #multiple sclerosis #needles tw

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fantasies-fairytales-n-fics · 2 years ago

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Thranduil and Josie Pt. 118- Opponents

Summary: Josie prepares for what should have been her first Thanksgiving with her King. She finds an ailing Narcisse and he clues her in about Catherine. An eviction is given. Josie is blown away by Legolas's appearance at the gathering. Narcisse's green eyed monster comes out and causes Jo and the Prince some trouble. Jareth is back with a vengeance. Raven fights for her life. An anticipated moment arrives.

*Warnings* Mentions of animal death, alcohol use, angst, language, violence

Stories Stories Stories Masterlist

Nov. 24

It was Thanksgiving and had been a week since you had last seen or heard from Garrett but that was not surprising since you pretty much made him feel like you never wanted to see him again...and at this point, you didn't. Your dreams of him and Raven, both at Lestat's and here now made sense. It was a future prediction of him sleeping with the enemy.

It had also been a week since you had seen Narcisse...and much longer since you last saw your dad. You were now becoming very worried about him. He wouldn't just leave you like this....like everyone does.

"Lola...is there a chapel of some sort here? I would like to go light a candle for Thranduil if there is one?"

"Yes Josie. It's on the first floor near the east wing."

"Thank you. I'll be back shortly to gather you both for the evening's feast."

The chapel must have been three times the size of Stephane's chambers and there were lit candles everywhere. You knelt down and lit one for your King, then began speaking to him as you cried.

"It's Thanksgiving and I'm here without you, my love. I am all dressed up for tonight's big feast and party and it's the last place I want to be. It is a time to be thankful and be with family, but it will never be the same without you. This would have been our first Thanksgiving together which makes it all the harder. Wherever you are, I pray you can hear me somehow. I know you are with me. I've seen the signs but I want more...I want you back....Please...please help me get through this. I am so lost...I have lost me without you."

You blew a kiss into the air for him and then went to leave. As you made your way to the exit, there was a small room off to the side with the door open. Inside was Narcisse just sitting there in a daze, appearing to be in some sort of distress.

"Stephane?" you softly said as you walked in, concerned for him. You decided you could get over the kiss he forced upon you... for now. "Are you...alright?"

"I don't understand how she could do it."

"She? Whom are you speaking of? Do what?"

"She...she killed my horse.."

"Wait...what?? Your horse...Arion? Who, Stephane?"

"Catherine, that evil vile woman...she killed him and fed him to me."

"Oh my god...ok... try to calm down and tell me what happened. Who is Catherine?" you asked and placed your hand on his shoulder.

"I am sure you will certainly meet her tonight. She's been back a few weeks but lingers in the dark corners watching me like the wicked witch she is."

"This...Catherine...she's a witch??"

Narcisse chuckled. "No...but her personality says otherwise."

"Wait....is this the woman I saw you embracing in the halls last week? and speaking to outside of the stables the day you and I went to your villa?"

"You saw her and I? Jo, I can explain that..."

"Stephane, what is there to explain? Except the fact you looked terrified of her."

"Yes...well...now you see why. She's a thorn in my side that I cannot get rid of."

"Is she....your um...partner?"

"She is...but unfortunately I cannot change that...I'm afraid."

"Narcisse, forgive me for saying so, but...why would you stay with a woman like that? This is your castle, your kingdom is it not? Why not just kick her to the curb?"

He laughed. "I love your terminology. You definitely shed some light on my darkened world Jo. If it were that easy, I would have done it ages ago. Catherine is like a disease with no cure. She has made it clear that what she did to my horse is nothing compared to what she is capable of and that, I do not take lightly. No one leaves Catherine and does not pay a hefty price."

"Then may I ask....why did you ever become involved with her to begin with?"

"As in all relationships, I did not know her well enough yet and well...my track record with my past wives wasn't any better. All these damn rumors make me out to be some kind of monster...contrary to what you may believe, I am not some soulless animal."

"Stephane...I...I never thought that you were."

"Even after I stole a kiss from you?"

"That does not make you soulless. I...I didn't know you had previous wives? Is Catherine your..."

"God no. I had two...both had passed away. Hence where the rumors began that I had killed them. They were arranged marriages by my father who's only goal was for me to produce an heir. I was young, only fifteen. I didn't know a thing about women or about love. My first wife died from the black plague and my second wife, from a miscarriage. She bled to death. After that, I had given up on being with anyone. My father had also passed so I did not have to worry about him forcing me into any more marriages and I told myself I would never marry again. Then many years later, I met Catherine. She was quite different then, or so I thought. Her jealousies and insecurities became very apparent soon enough and she has made my life a living breathing hell ever since. So you see, luck does not befall on me in the thing called love. I'm sorry...I rarely speak of these things."

"So...you've never been in love?"

"That...is a rare jewel I have yet to see..."

The way he looked at you with those beguiling blue eyes when he said that put you in some kind of feels.

"Well...If I had my powers, I would take care of her for you." you giggled, trying to get him to smile but it failed miserably. He stood right up.

"I appreciate the gesture Jo, but I need you to stay as far away from her as you can."

"And how do you propose I do that when she is staying here and will be at dinner this evening? And why? I have done nothing to her?"

"Oh but you have....she saw me kiss you....well, her spies saw us and informed her...and she knows about you being at my villa as well. In fact, I think it would be best if you took Legolas up on his offer and returned to Mirkwood. I would never forgive myself if she did something to you because of me. The weather is clear now, there is nothing keeping you here..."

"Stephane....I....I cannot go back there...you know this and you know why."

"Well I am sure Haldir would love to take you and Leean to Lorien with him. Any fool can see he's madly in love with you and you would be safe there just as you would in Mirkwood. Surely you didn't think you would remain here forever?"

"Well...no...but...ok maybe? I..I like it here...I thought...you liked having me here too?"

"Jo, you know I do. I do not want you to go but that is beside the point. I'll give you a few days to make arrangements. I am sorry Jo...I had no idea Catherine would be back so soon. If not for her....I...I would have loved to see your beauty in my presence every day...but some things...are just not meant to be."

Narcisse tried to keep his composure as he admired how absolutely stunning and sexy you looked in your party attire. To him, this seemed to be the hardest thing he ever had to do by letting you go.

"Wow, yes well, you certainly got that right..."

"Jo..I am not trying to hurt you...I.."

"No..it's fine Narcisse. I get it. What's one more person I care about disappearing too? I am more than used to it by now. So, I guess if you see my father who has also abandoned ship, you can let him know where I am at....when I figure that out...which I am going to go do right now. Happy Thanksgiving Stephane.."

"Jo..wait...please...I care about you too, that's why I am doing this!!" he shouted after you.

You kept going because tears were consuming your eyes and you were damned if you would let him see you cry over him.

You were all dressed up in a burgundy sleeveless and backless dress and heels, with no place to go but to the dining hall and try to find Legolas and Haldir. God you despised heels but it felt nice to feel pretty again. You dried your tears and quickly went back for Lola and Leean, the you all headed to the hall.

When you walked into the hall, you saw Haldir on the patio conversing, chalice deep in wine, who stuck out like a sore thumb with his platinum long beautiful strands and perfect braid that draped down the back of his head. The weather had done a 180 from sub zero temps to spring like weather and you certainly weren't going to complain about that.

As you walked up to him, you were trembling, trying to not break down. Being so very overwhelmed was an understatement.

"Hey." you squeaked and tapped his shoulder.

Haldir turned and his mouth dropped wide open as he unintentionally glanced up and down your body.

You giggled while fighting back the tears because all you wanted to do was hug him and not let go, but you refrained so as not to embarrass him.

He saw right through your fake smile and glistening eyes.

"Hey...my Jo...sweetheart....what is wrong?" he asked lovingly as he placed his hand on your face.

"I...I can't do this Haldir..." you whispered as a tear snuck out of your eye. "I...I need you...I need to talk to you."

"Follow me."

He took your hand and led you to a secluded corner in which you then threw your arms around him and broke down.

"Jo Jo...what can I do?"

"I...I may need to go back to Lorien with you...I..mean, if that's alright?"

"Jo...are you really asking me if it is alright? You know better than that. I have told you many times you are always welcome to come there with me.....but why are you mentioning this?"

"It don't matter why...I just wanted to make sure it was alright with you. It won't be for a few days yet, but I just think it will be for the best. I..I can't go back to Thransuil's halls...I just can't...and I...I cannot stay here anymore. Besides...Legolas needs to go back. He's the King now."

"Did I hear my name?"

Legolas walked in from another patio door, smiling at you. You forgot to breathe at the sight of him. The way the light shone on him, he looked like an angel. For a split second, you could have sworn he was Thranduil in his silver robe.

Thranduil had been wearing a very similar robe when you first laid eyes upon him....and all you could envision was that memory.

My god, he was so beautiful.....and so was Legolas.

Legolas's facial expression quickly matched yours when he saw you as well.

"Josie...my lady...I...I have never seen such a vision in my many millenniums."

You chuckled. "Legolas, you are too kind but surely you are exaggerating."

"Not in the least my lady. You are of true beauty that I cannot remove my eyes from."

"I am sorry Jo, but I must agree with Legolas." Haldir said with a grin.

"Yeah well, you both don't look too shabby yourselves."

Your eyes locked solely with Legolas's and it didn't go unnoticed by Haldir.

"My lady, may I escort you to the patio for a drink?" Legolas then asked as he extended his elbow.

"Lola, would you mind remaining inside with Leean? I think it's a bit too cool for her to be outside."

She smiled and nodded at you, then sat down and picked Leean up to hold her.

You turned back to Legolas and hooked your arm around his then proceeded to the people filled patio as Haldir followed, muttering a sarcastic sigh at Legolas for acting as if you were his date.

Narcisse was standing with some woman sipping on his wine diligently and all smiles. When he saw you attached to Legolas's arm, his smile melted into a frown.

Legolas poured you a glass of Dorwinion's finest and then himself.

"A toast...to the Queen, for you are something I am so very grateful for on this Thanksgiving day....and everyday before and for everyday to come after." Legolas sweetly said as he raised his chalice.

"I second that." Haldir agreed, raising his also.

"I third that." Narcisse cut in as he walked up raising his cup with a grin at you. He was clearly feeling pretty damn good on the spirits.

"So, Jo...did you decide on going back to Lorien with Haldir?"

Legolas's facial expression went completely flat as he stared at you.

"You are...what?"

"Can I speak with you??"

You grabbed Narcisse's arm and drug him off harshly.

"Did you just do that on purpose??! To make him upset with me?"

"It was a simple question Jo. Remember, we just spoke about it?"

"Yeah like only an hour ago! I have had no time to talk with Legolas yet and I am willing to bet you knew that. I saw you watching us just now. I don't know what kind of game you are playing, but I'm not your opponent like you called me and I will not tolerate you hurting Legolas or anyone I love, which I thought I had made perfectly clear to you already with my arrow pointed at your chest. You know, I just don't get you. One minute, you're kind and caring and the next, you're a full blown dick. I don't like games Narcisse."

"So you....love him now?"

"What?? I did not....do not twist my words or this conversation...and if I do, that is surely NONE of your business or anyone else's for that matter!"

"Point made and taken." he said in a cold tone then walked back to the two stunned elves who both heard the entire quarrel.

"If you'll excuse me, nature is calling. I think I have indulged in a bit too much of this fabulous vintage. After the feast, there will be dancing and games in the ballroom and festivities by the water, also...more drinking down in the cellar. Hope to see you all there. It's quite an afterparty." he said with a smirk and headed out."

"So it is true. You will not return to Mirkwood with me but will go to Lorien with Haldir..."

"Legolas...please let me explain...."

"I need to relieve myself as well."

The peeved Prince set his glass down and also left.

"Well...I can see this night is going to be just freaking lovely." you reeled and slammed down your wine.

Raven was on her way to see Thranduil again when something began to feel off in the forest....as if she were not alone. Almost a dozen of Jareth's wendigo's came out of the trees and circled about her. She closed her eyes to focus and then opened them, ready to start torching the beasts one by one.

Wings of fire blazed from her back and then she began blasting them.

Within seconds, she had wiped them all out but it had also wiped her out as she stumbled off.

She made it to Thranduil's door and collapsed against it, waking him at his desk where he had fallen asleep writing to you again.

"Who is there?" he asked as he cautiously approached the door.

"It...it's me. I..."

Raven's head fell against the door, almost passing out.

"What is wrong with you?"

"As...if..y...you care." she mumbled.

"I do not, it is true. It was a simple inquiry."

"Yeah...thanks...for that after all I have done for you."

"All that you have offered has been for your own gain so spare me your intended guilt stratagem, for my heart is as hard as stone when it comes to you."

"Keep shooting your mouth off Elvenking. After what I just endured, don't think I am not willing to just walk away and leave you to rot."

"Well well well...looks like you defeated my army of darkness." Jareth teased as he appeared out of nowhere.

Raven gasped and scurried back against the door.

"J...Jareth...where...have you been?"

He walked over and leaned on the wall, hovering over her.

"Don't you worry your deceiving little head about that. Did you really think I would not know what you have been up to? What is it with you that just cannot seem to be trained? All I have ever asked was for you to love me, but betray me and you would suffer...and yet that just has not sunk in. Here you are again, where I have ordered you not to be...playing with an elf...oh...and do not think I do not know of your indiscretions with the vampire either. The clothes you were wearing that you stupidly left in our room, reek of him. He too will pay a price for crossing me. I believe I have had it up to my wits end with you and you no longer serve me any purpose. Chance after chance I have given you which was one too many. Time is short and yours is up."

A clock magically appeared and he pointed at it, advancing the time as his fingers twirled in the air.

"Jareth...please...you...you hurt me...and you..left me all alone. I..thought you loved me? I...I can do better...I swear."

"No, I do not believe that you will. I hurt you because you defied me and you still did not learn your lesson. Now, I must do more...and it will only hurt for a few seconds, then it will all be over."

"Jareth no!! Please!!! I love you!!"

"You will say anything to spare your pathetic life. We both know you don't mean that."

Jareth glared at her as his eyes began to glow yellow. Raven threw her hands over her ears and began screaming in pain.

"I...I will...kill you..." Raven screeched.

"What's that? I can't hear you? I think you need to put that fire out that you're thinking of using on me."

Jareth placed his fingertips under her chin and her entire face began to freeze over with ice.

"There. That's more like it.. I have much of my mother's powers in me. She would be so proud right now. Too bad she isn't here to watch you freeze to death....and there's nothing you can do about it. Do you know why that is my love? Because you are weak."

Jareth's words echoed through her mind and enraged her, enough so that she was able to will her fire to the surface, melting the ice.

Jareth watched in disbelief as Raven stood up, free of his power....and now she was just flat out pissed. She cocked her head as if she were loading a gun, which instantly brought her fire out.

"I would choose wisely Raven. Have you forgotten that I have a fire in me much bigger than yours! You are no worthy opponent in this game!"

Thranduil's voice came through the hole in his wall as he watched with one eye.

"FIRE!" he barked.

Raven grinned and stared the wicked goblin king down with burning eyes.

"Time is short....and your is up." she snarled.

Her fireball promptly grew and then she shot it at him, causing a massive explosion and blowing Jareth through the air.

All was then quiet as Jareth laid still on the forest bed until Gollum came running out screeching.

"You dids it! You dids it my precious!! Ding dong the wicked king is deads!! Yes yes yes!!!"

"Don't be so sure of that." she proclaimed and went to check him. "And where the hell were you? Just watching as he was going to kill me?? you little chicken shit!"

"We has no powers! What were we supposed to do?"

"I don't know, maybe bite his ankles or something? Seems your style."

Gollum grinned. "Yes it is!! But NO! No! We couldn't do thats! Master would squash us like a bug or even worse, throws us into the bog of eternal stench!"

"How is that worse? You already smell like Jareth wiped his ass with you."

"Do either of you think you could hold your harrowing tongues and extract the gem?! I assure you he is not dead. Only the book of shadows can destroy him." Thranduil snarked.

'Yes!! The precious! We must gets it!"

"No wonder he wants it so bad." Raven muttered as she cautiously crept up to the unconscious Jareth after what Thranduil said.

She hesitated as she stood a foot away from him.

"Gollum...take the ring." Raven whispered.

"We won't takes the precious, you takes it!" he also whispered while cowering behind a tree.

"Take the ring!!!" Thranduil bellowed.

Raven jumped and gasped. She was startled so much that she dove forward and plucked the citrine gem from his finger without delay, then quickly returned to Thranduil's door and placed the ring on her finger.

"Before I free you from here, I want your word you will not kill me. No tricks, no games Elvenking!"

"What good with that do me. I still need the violin or neither of us will escape this evil realm with all that lurks within it." Thranduil indirectly answered and released a sinister grin because Raven was only a pawn to him and when she no longer served him a purpose, he would end her for all that she had done.

"Speak for yourself King. I can fly out, remember?"

"And Jareth will be right on your tail, unless he is detained by that which I intend to unleash."

Raven briefly dithered because she knew the Elvenking was one never to be trusted, but he was right. Jareth's dark kingdom and forces went on for miles and she knew she would never make it out before he captured her.

She put the ring on, closed her eyes and sighed....then placed her hand on the door. The ring lit up like the sun and the door made a click, then she slowly pulled it open as she trembled. All that was in view was his desk and the lit candle that was upon it.

"Th...Thra...Thranduil?"

@redeemer46

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tales-from-nocturnaliss · 2 years ago

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30 Days of Autism Acceptance 2023 - catching up!

Figured it'd be a fun thing to do this year, since, y'know: this is the year that marked my official diagnosis as autistic. I'll answer several questions at once since I missed the previous days from not knowing this existed (social mishaps ftw!)

If you wanna participate, check out @birdofmay's blog or click through this link!

1 April: The typical introduction question! Tell us something about yourself.

I'm a 42-yo Belgian writer of Dark Fantasy who was diagnosed autistic this past January after a few years of absolute hell trying to figure out wtf was wrong with me. Turns out: likely intense autistic burnout!

On a more positive note though, I also likely have symptoms of ADHD - which is positive because it makes me able to function in the world on a more NT level I'd say, like doing things on a whim, enjoying change and exploring and, in a way, balancing the autism out. Mostly. The conflictual needs and wants have caused me a lot of mental and physical stress that I'm still trying to recover from.

On a fun note now: I have two cats I adore, a husband who's sometimes just as dysfunctional as I am (likely why he sniffed me out when we were still teens << but we only really met when I was 29; he remembered me from seeing me at school though!), currently unemployed because health, love to fangirl my characters (and anime dudes <<), somehow have a wide circle of friends of all nationalities and personalities because individuals are awesome and fascinating (I'm obsessed with psychology and emotions), and... Yeah. If you'd like to know anything else, do simply ask :D I love answering questions.

2 April: When were you diagnosed and when did you know that you're autistic? If you're self-diagnosed, when did you first suspect that you're autistic and when were you sure?

So it's both, actually. Last year, a good friend of mine talked to me about how she thought she was autistic, and shared a lot of info on women-specific autism... and that's when I saw that everything I thought I knew about autism was but a tiny fraction of a very wide spectrum. I recognized myself in what I read. I was on a quest for self-understanding to finally know what ailed me. I needed to know (which, let it be said, seems to be an autistic trait unto its own <<)

That was August. In October, I decided I had to be tested. November through December, five tests. Result in January. Diagnosis confirmed. I was ELATED. Because, finally, my whole life made sense. I am still so immensely relieved and happy to know.

3 April: How good or bad is your memory for things people say? For example verbal instructions.

My memory's gotten worse over time, likely from years of over-stress. I tend to let a lot of things leave my memory - including things people say. Verbal instructions... Because I know I have a tendency to forget, I prefer them written so I can read them over if/when needed. It's why I do everything official via email, put in appointments in my phone's calendar immediately, etc.

Funnily enough, I still remember a few words from one autism test I did back in November. So there's some logic to what's retained and what not. Repetition of words seems to be key.

4 April: Were/are you in special education? Regular school? Home schooled? A private school? Did it change over time? Did/do you like it?

I was in regular school. I'm 42. When I was a teen, depression wasn't even recognized as a real disease. Autism? Never heard of that. I was just an anxiety-ridden, fragile, naturally heavily bullied young girl who suffered ten years of depression afterwards and intense social anxiety. ... Damn I hated school so much. XD (and myself for just not fitting in :3; )

5 April: Did/do you have accommodations at school/IEP? If not, do you think it would help/have helped you?

I imagine it would have, had we known I was autistic.

6 April: Can you understand what people say when they talk fast, or do you lose track after a while? Was it different when you were younger?

Good question, with 'younger' feeling so far away... I did notice my speech recignition declined these past years, like when watching movies. However, since trying ginkgo and ginseng supplements to alleviate ADHD symptoms, and how magically they also alleviated anxieties and stress overall, I notice my speech recognition improved again.

So, to answer: in general I understand people who talk really fast, best of all in french (my native language). However, I do lose track if people talk in monotones. I think my brain gets bored and nopes out of there.

7 April: Do you have other diagnoses? What are they? Do you think that some could be incorrect?

I don't. Which I think is a mistake in itself, because I relate too intensely and completely to AuDHD perceptions. I was told it might be my higher IQ (officially 119, but I couldn't do the language tests as my brain demanded: in all three languages I know. So it's a bit higher) causing conflicts with the autism. Like, I was told a normal person thinks in a fast, straight line; autistics think in zigzags to get to the same point. They said I take the zigzags like they are a fast, straight line. And I'm like: okay sure I feel your point, but what about my mind always feeling torn in different directions and my inability to focus and how sometimes I adore change and other times not etc etc?

I'm not diagnosed AuDHD, but live that way anyway. Because that's what feels right. And trying to treat a possible ADHD has helped me. So instinct >>> NT experts, tyvm.

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Aaaand tomorrow I'll continue these day by day :D woot to catching up and focussing and getting something done!

#30daysofautismacceptance #2023 #actually autistic #likely audhd

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