#i am debating if i want to fix it or not
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WIP
I'm normal. [lie]
#jayvik#arcane#arcane s2#cosmo.wip#it looks like jayce is sucking viktor off and that. is not the intention#i am debating if i want to fix it or not#anyway. i cant not share updates on this im actually very proud of the line work since i dont. usually do this#jayce talis#viktor arcane
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“oh the gods are bad the gods are bad” i actually realized i dont give a fuck. crazy concept i actually realized i do not give a fuck lmaooo. people have lived not liking or worshipping the gods for so many fucking years its actually CRAZY like people honestly just go about their day to day lives. they believe or they don't! big whoop! they just care about the price of milk and if the world isn't ending!!
#average exandrian citizen here with the weather report: it is raining fire which i don't like and eggs are 9$ a pack. pls fix this first#where will i go when i die? don't care! hopefully not the hells! i don't worship but my friend does and that makes them happy.#but none of us like corrupt chruch officials! lets take them down#but first i want to enjoy my weekend off from working in the fields because again; i am a NORMAL CITIZEN WITH NORMAL PROBLEMS#can we just agree we need to stop ludinas and end the fucking squabbling? STAY AWAY FROM A DIVINITY DEBATE.#its interesting but not the time! every time we indulge it again its counter productive#obviously i am loving this and having so much fun and am super into the choices the players are making! they're doing a fantastic job#i'm just being a bitch lmao#critical role#cr spoilers#bells hells#campaign 3#cr3#andis thought geyser
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I feel like the real philosophical divide on that robot/clone poll is between the people having some sort of existential identity crisis about free will and Selfhood and so on, and those of us looking at our mortal shell and going 'who would build THIS on purpose'
#this is probably some big religious debate with a fancy name#happily for me I don't care about religious debates so I don't have to know that part#I can just call this philosophy 'Victor Frankenstein Was a Jackass''#tbc I'm talking about those of us who want to see the design specs#vs people having some kinda Deep Thoughts about Humanity and Free Will and so on#Yo. Promotheus. Why am I allergic to carrots.#FIX IT.#(I know it's Prometheus. go watch the Critic )
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more intimidating peppino please. more butcher knife peppino!!! more heavy weight boxer arms peppino PLEASE. FATSTRONG SHOTPUT/HIGHLAND GAMES PEPPINO PLEASE!!! legs like tree trunks!!!
You
#answered#//#///#////#/////#peppino#YOURE RIGHT THO#i still havent drawn him like#more realistic; i still draw him stylized#but he is supposed to give off these vibes#im still debating if i want him to have equally muscular tree trunk legs to match his arms#but i think i like it mostly fat#VERY strong thick thighs that look soft#please also consider#i havent drawn it yet but I think hes a very good handyman#he does basically all the repairs around the shop#partially bc he literally couldnt afford to hire people to fix shit#but also bc keeping ur hands busy is a good thing#do what u will with this information#okay i am so fucking seepy gn yall 💖
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i gotta think up some goldmoon facts
#i have a lot of like. facts. but i haven't put them into Words yet#also sorry. there are Nouns. but a lot of them are place names due to the whole thing being about a journey#i am a little picky about how they move around the continent. i don't even want to draw any fixed illustrations until i have#an idea of what their traveling looks like. i've had many internal debates abt how they carry things around#ocposting#sometimes i just give up and static over that in my mind so i can come up with character stuff#but not enough. so i usually need to be prompted to think about Characters#also yes i Do have a map i've been filling it out as i come up with things
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so I kind of fell into the roblox rabbithole
#(warning these tags are just goona be me yapping)#the pressure fix isnt exactly new at this point but shhhhh#that was the one that started this all that was the gateway drug#for those curious the other two are regretevator and phighting#im actually kind of really embarrassed by this. like yeah be cringe and free but#I may be cringe but I am Not free#(plus people can be really mean abt this stuff and I dont want random people yelling at me for the crime of liking a game)#heavily debating making another sideblog just for like. stuff im afraid to post on this one for fear of being Cringe
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just realized my fatal flaw and the great struggle of possibly the rest of my life. while watching a cdrama.
#a sock speaks#local construction#fundamentally I lack the confidence needed to be a writer or a teacher#on the one hand I can't brazen my way out of this by pretending to be confident. I need to actually have the knowledge and skills I claim.#on the other hand I can't just say I'll be confident once I have more knowledge and experience. I have a master's degree!#I want to get more school but more school on its own will not fix this#I've let opportunities pass by because I was depressed. I didn't see how I could be enough for them.#or I was too tired (because I was depressed)#but sometimes it's bc I'm not sure if trying would make things better or worse (that one's on the OCD more than depression)#it makes sense that I lack confidence because of inexperience. but I can only gain experience by going for it. doing things badly is good.#it makes sense that I'm scared to face criticism. I've faced my whole community against me.#I've been stuck at someone's house debating scripture for hours with a migraine and no food. I think that was mildly traumatic for me.#but in most cases I am physically safe and the physical fear is irrational. I can work on this with some gentle exposure therapy.#but I need to bring together the effort to organize my thoughts and the bravado to hold my ground in an argument#and I can only build up this confidence with practice. I need to write. I need to do public speaking.#I'd need a platform for speaking (I'd hate to do a podcast or vlog but it'd be good for me)#but I should write! why am I not writing more? I need to write. writing is the way forward#several years ago I was in such deep despair with life that in order to survive I told myself#that I just had to survive. I didn't have to achieve anything or prove myself in any way as long as I stayed alive#and I went to grad school in Georgia not because I saw a path to a career in biblical studies but because school made me want to be alive#(extremely bizarre case of grad school not being the problem. I know.)#I know I missed a lot of benefits I could've had if I'd been mentally healthy when I went. but it's okay because it kept me going#I can go back to school or not go back. do biblical studies or do something else. I don't have big expectations for myself#but as my mental health improves it occurs to me that I COULD do more if only I believed it was worth the effort#I don't need to fear failure when the alternative was not even attempting it#I need to write. I need to write. I need to write.#I'm thinking I might start a newsletter or blog or something. some Bible stuff and some church/social commentary. just kind of open ended.
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this just in - for some reason i forgot how bunny ears work smh. anyway MY BUILDAH (im waiting for my switch controllers to charge cause im playing on the tv 💀)
#i am debating on inking and coloring#but thats usually where things go WRONG#i mean theyre wrong frkm the get go but whatever#hes so bored with everything always just like me#my time at sandrock#mtas#mtas builder#i think imma make some more stuff but idk i just wanted to draw him 😤#also when i finally get my tablet fixed its over for you bitches#its me im bitches
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#Okay so tw cuz im gonna rant about suicide#so back in July I planned on killing myself today#I told myself I needed to try n get better n if I couldn’t that was it#and I’ve tried I really have#and I’m obviously still struggling but not to the extent I was#like I’m depressed n my ed is getting worse#but I’m finally hanging out with D n she��s just so much fun to be around#im calling my bestie more and she sounds genuinely happy to hear from me#im doing a bit better with my parents to n im seeing my cousin more who I’ve missed so much#I have plans for break for the first time in years#im finally getting piercings#it’s crazy cuz even just 2 weeks ago I didn’t think Id be ok today#but I am like today isn’t gonna be another attempt I’m gonna make it#and that’s wild to me bc I was so bad over the summer I was constantly debating it that’s why I set the date#And I don’t think I’m fixed and there’s a big chance I’ll attempt at some point in the future knowing me#but right now I feel like I have a reason to try and I haven’t felt like that in a long time#okay I’m done now just wanted to say that#screaming#tw suicide#tw suicide mention#kinda
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.t
#mmmmmm debating buying a new pc#theres nothing wrong with my pc atm lol its just i have the opportunity to rn#and my pc isnt quite powerful enough for some of the things that i want to do like 3d modelling and larger games and video editing and such#esp that i'll be doing increasingly more of over the years#plus if i do get one then my current one wont go to waste i think id give it to my sibling since hes always mentioning#how he'd like to get a setup like mine#whenever shes over she goes on my pc to do speedruns lmao#like its good mid-teir pc its worked well for me#so its not desperate#i am debating getting a new laptop too this one is like 4 years old and is starting to show it#but idk im very much a 'use it till its dead' guy#like my phone's power button has been broken for like half a year so it hasnt turned off in months..... but i cba to fix it#like i GUESS i could get a new phone but ughhhhhh do i really have to it works fine#anyway i guess i should ask some tech guys about this i found some good ref websites#em if u see this lmk what u think i should do lol im pondering#i think tbh i might hold off for a bit before i get any new big purchases but i may get some small things like new clothes that#i need and such idk lol#that or id sell my current pc idk but im sentimental lol
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Today at trivia: learned a baby hedgehog is called a hoglet. You've many hedgehog themed shenanigans here and I thought you'd like to know if you didn't already 💕
YEAAAHHHH LIL HOGLETS !!!!!! an UPMOST important fact to know...
#snap chats#class ended early since we were just introducing ourselves but i still managed to have the most annoying night oh my god#first my professor accidentally shook my bad hand and i didnt tell him it was A Bad Hand#people usually tell me i have a really good handshake but now my handshake look AWFUL like im sorry prof my hand has cysts in it#awful first impression and those are big to me..#it gets worse though cause i went to get eggs and detergent and my card declined For Some Reason???#the only strange thing i did lately was get gas LMAO I DONT ??? UNDERSTAND.#i mean i got my shit with another card i have but i didnt get the receipt the first time since i thought it was in the bag#but no it gets worse cause i cant even get into my dorm building cause for some reason my id card just. does not open that door#IT OPENS MY DORM ROOM BUT NOT THE BUILDING DOOR and then i couldnt find the housing department room#so i have to email them tonight. to fix my stupid card ig.#but no so i ran back out to ask the clerk if he still had my receipt and He Didnt. Fair Nuff so he just gave me a rough estimate#which is SOOO fun so heres to hoping i didnt underpay my credit card. overpay Ill Live itll prob just be a few cents more#AND THEN I HAD TO DO THE AWKWARD THING WHERE I SIGNAL TO THE DESK CLERK TO LET ME IN. AGAIN#but yeah... AND THEN I HAVE CLASS AT 8AM on god i might just skip since i want to drop the class anyway#but thats also MAD disrespectful.. ill just hope class ends early idk..#so yeah. terrible night. it WILL get worse.#maybe ill make eggs.... not like i can buy food. i mean i CAN but ugh i hate doing credit card payment that shit so extra#and to top it off as i was leaving the store Again some mate was liek 'excuse me sir- oh im sorry excuse me ma'am'#MY GUY I AM WEARING A SUIT AND A FACE MASK AND I HAVE SHORT HAIR STYLED LIKE A DEBATE CLUB MEMBER#YOU WERE RIGHT THE FIRST TIME I PROMISE LMAO kms. fr.#ok im done ranting SORRY. thank you for the reminder baby hedgehogs got cute as hell names..#im gonna try to think of old people to feel better...
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I think one of the reasons the Harris / Walz ticket has so much momentum is because the campaign is genuinely trying to put out this vibe of fun. Like that's all the "brat" thing is, the coconut jokes, just being kind of silly and fun.
And I think it's working, because let's be real, we are all exhausted. It's been all about preserving democracy, defeating fascism, the past eight years. The message has been "vote for us because the country is literally on the line". The vibes are not good when we are stuck back at that fight, and not even discussing trying to make progress on things like housing, healthcare, education, etc. And the fight to just stop fascism? All still true. Project 2025 is real and is extremely scary. We can't let that man back into office.
But the vibe was "vote for us otherwise we're all fucked :(" and now has shifted to "get in, we're making popcorn and then bullying fascists." Like a lot of the issues conservatives bring up, the Harris / Walz is just not engaging them in good faith, as they shouldn't. Republicans bring up abortion, and some of the Dems are just like, "you want 14 year old to give birth? Weirdo" and just leave it at that. Like YES, that's what you should do. Because it SHOULDNT be a debate. And it's working. This is how you defeat the identity politics thing Republicans have been trying to push for a while. Just mocking them for the stupidity of it all. "Like seriously? You think a book can make someone gay??? Hahaha." None of the Republicans are reacting well. They can't stand it. Vance even complained about bullying!!! Like do you KNOW who picked you as vp??? It's actually laughable, because they have no room to stand on when it comes to bullying.
And a huge part of the mocking and dismissing of Republicans is that the message is clear - we are done debating all this stupid stuff. We've won the last two elections' popular vote - most Americans do NOT want christo-facism. It's time to move on. And that's what gives me hope, and the feeling of hope I think a lot of people have picked up on. It's time to address all the issues we've all wished we've been addressing the past decade. It's important we move onto that, and that's the message I'm getting from this campaign (We're not going back). I think it will resonate with a lot of people, because plainly, we're all just sick of this same old news cycle and fake rage bait over things like "should women have rights?", "Should gay people be allowed to exist?" The general populace have answered YES to both these multiple times, and it is time to move on. Maybe I'm being naive, but I am genuinely excited at the idea of putting to bed these debates (it's exhausting trying to fend someone's very existence ) and moving on to actual economic and social policies that could fix a lot of deterioration over the last 2 decades.
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Got made redundant champs
#freakova speaks#God is challenging me this year#he is whispering in my ear hoping I will lose my sense of moral and empathy and snap#And oh my god I wish I would#it was going so well after everything that happened#But alas it happened#I guess this is the best way to go out#and I always said I would go down with the ship#last year someone wanted me to leave it for a dead end job at a factory#and holy fuck am I glad I listened to my gut#I would NEVER have forgiven myself if I left before my boss and his business died#But now the job I had has ended….its sad#Despite everything. I will miss it#not the shit hours mind you but still#So what’s next?#aside getting my car fixed and retainer replaced (thank you god much needed)?#I guess focus on my business while I wait for the next job opportunity#I’ve been offered a job but I am debating on it tbh#I might do seasonal but eh I’ll think about it
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Unpopular opinion but the persona 5 ui is too much.....
#8 years later yeah but it's obnoxious and now there's a few smt games that are borrowing a lot of style from it#p3 reload and soul hackers 2 and now this metaphor refantazio games all have this overstylized uis#and somewhat related but i really doubt they actually fixed the plot in smt v but i am kind of interested in the b plot#for revengeance but I'm debating if I want to buy it or not#anyway something something capitalism breeds innovation only to get 5 carbon copies of a successful product
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'fixed' is a strong word here, i think even if he'd stayed on board veilguard still would have been a soft 6/10 at Best just based on the nightmarish production cycle alone
i definitely don't want people to take this post as a defence of gaider lmao, to the best of my knowledge he still hasn't walked back any of his previous bullshit takes (which he's Definitely had more than enough time to do by now & instead just elects to sound vaguely smug/bitter when it comes up on bluesky so. not a lot of hope there tbh). the biggest things we're missing without him at the helm would definitely apply more to tonal cohesiveness & how the lore is generally treated. ea getting their fingers into things & having the game suffer for it was to be expected, but based on past games i still thought we would at least be getting compelling parts (i love dragon age, but i definitely won't go around saying it's objectively Good lmfao)
whether he stayed on or someone was brought in who functioned similarly where it mattered & made up for some of the real world-related shortcomings & blind spots (would have been the ideal in this situation), i think weekes was just Not the correct choice for taking the lead here. from the outside, i would assume the choice was made on seniority & previous experience working on the games which makes sense on paper. but the cohesiveness & maturity of the writing is just completely missing. it is so, so painfully emotionally shallow & it's glaring in the scant character interactions we get.
given how many people love the writing of da2, i don't even know if it would have been an issue of crunch here since we've seen it pulled off in a short period of time before (another point where having ea breathing down everyone's neck this time didn't help tbf). but a lot of that success can probably be attributed to having a lead who had a strong sense of the setting & would have been able to bring everyone up to that same level. apparently having the shorter timeline was actually a benefit to the da2 development, since there was less time to go back & forth with decisions.
anyway all that is to say, i think 'we got objectively better written games under gaider than we did with weekes as lead' is a pretty fair statement to make. i have no doubt that there are other people who could have delivered a Better game than either of them could too, and i honestly wish we were living in the timeline where that theoretical person ended up with the position instead
im definitely not a fan of this man on a personal level for several reasons but guys im starting to think da lost a load bearing wall when he left
#i Do agree with your addition btw i should say fdsghjm#i just want to clarify that i am Not campaigning for gaider here i really hope no one takes this that way fdsghhj#like god forbid bc that is Not what im saying i believe if i ever met the man irl he would trigger my fight response#(i actually dont like weekes either i think every single one of these well known writers for bioware needs to get off social media lmao)#i just think he was better at the job than weekes In General#they made him write this beefy lore bible during dai's development which is apparently a google doc that only a handful of people have#access to and i guess we just Did Not Use That this time around??#or used very little.#& its evident that someone on the old writing team was doing some heavy editing that isnt present this time around#the layoffs didnt help in the slightest but i think if the leadership was Better & more concerned with the big picture of the project rathe#than just a few limited areas of personal interest#we still could have had something way better in the end to show for it.#like i think we all knew this game would always be flawed on a fundamental level#dragon age games are Fun but 'good' is. debatable (affectionate)#but this is a different type of bad (which doesnt even succeed in fixing previous issues)#and the whole 'just write your own fanfic! :)' attitude from epler still makes me so fucking mad yk#it feels like it bled into this game across the board#which was Definitely not the vibe previous games' productions had
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:(
#i also wish i wasn’t god’s greatest martyr like#why am i constantly falling on my sword for stupid shit#like do i really just love being unhappy????#why do i take every opportunity i can to punish myself#like!!!!!!! what is this ever present guilt and why should i have to put myself through constant suffering in an attempt to absolve it#it’s like i’m allergic to just picking the easy way out#peace is so foreign to me it’s like i can’t function unless i have at least 2 things making me miserable and if i can’t find them#i will CREATE them#something about stability is like so unachievable to me and it’s always me who’s blocking my own blessings#god#i want better for myself#anybody else in these conditions would not be having the problems i am having#my life isn’t BAD#it’s just my own sheer inability to take control of it and live in it#i just let stuff happen to me instead of initiating anything at all & i just do the bare minimum to coast by and then wonder#why nothing improves#when 6lack wrote prblms it was about me .#anyways back to the ever present mental debate of ‘am i just lazy or do i need to be medicated’ lol#an anti depressant would probably fix me i won’t lie
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