#anyways back to the ever present mental debate of ‘am i just lazy or do i need to be medicated’ lol
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:(
#i also wish i wasn’t god’s greatest martyr like#why am i constantly falling on my sword for stupid shit#like do i really just love being unhappy????#why do i take every opportunity i can to punish myself#like!!!!!!! what is this ever present guilt and why should i have to put myself through constant suffering in an attempt to absolve it#it’s like i’m allergic to just picking the easy way out#peace is so foreign to me it’s like i can’t function unless i have at least 2 things making me miserable and if i can’t find them#i will CREATE them#something about stability is like so unachievable to me and it’s always me who’s blocking my own blessings#god#i want better for myself#anybody else in these conditions would not be having the problems i am having#my life isn’t BAD#it’s just my own sheer inability to take control of it and live in it#i just let stuff happen to me instead of initiating anything at all & i just do the bare minimum to coast by and then wonder#why nothing improves#when 6lack wrote prblms it was about me .#anyways back to the ever present mental debate of ‘am i just lazy or do i need to be medicated’ lol#an anti depressant would probably fix me i won’t lie
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Oblivious
Request: Hey your writing is awesome! For Thirsty Thursday, can I request an Axl Smut where he has a huge crush on Y/N and he flirts with her and they end up having sex? Hope you like this one, thx! ❤️ (sent by anon)
Pairing: Axl Rose x reader
Info: Smut [oral, male receiving; public place, car sex]; 2903 words;
A/N: Sorry it took me this long baby, I hope you like it.
Y/N smiled warmly as Guns N’ Rose’s occupied five stools at the bar. Without a word from them, she immediately began to prepare their orders, talking to them as she did so.
“You guys were great tonight.” She said to all of them, though her eyes focused a bit more on Axl.
“You liked it?” Axl asked, a half-smile/half-smirk plastered on his lips as she handed him his drink.
“Of course!” Y/N grinned, handing the others their drinks as well. “Your solo was so fucking good tonight!” She said to Slash, receiving an almost shy, bashful smile in return.
“Thanks, Y/N.” He said, taking a sip of his drink and moving his attention to a group of girls that took some seats at the bar not far from them.
Y/N chuckled at his behavior and turned her attention to the other drinks that she needed to make.
“You look good tonight.” Axl said with a smile, letting his green eyes roam over her body. Her boss didn’t care about what clothes his employees wore as long as the customers were served, but Y/N didn’t show up to work all dressed up like one of the other bartenders. She was working after all, not trying to get laid in the middle of her shift.
“Axl, I’m wearing jeans and a shirt and I reek of sweat and alcohol.” She deadpanned, hoping he couldn’t see the faint blush that she felt present on her cheeks.
“That’s your power baby, you always look good.” He smirked, drinking from his glass as his eyes fixated on her lips.
“Shut up…” Y/N chuckled, dismissing his flirting like usual. There was no way Axl Rose was interested in her, so why flirt back anyways?
[…]
Even though Axl flirted with her regularly, this night was different. He was flirting with every chance he got, complimenting her looks, saying, in the classiest way he could muster, how hot she was… anything, he flirted any way he could.
Everyone could see the effect on her, even Axl. She would smile shyly once she looked away from him and he would catch her staring at him many times.
Despite his redoubled efforts to make his interest in her clear, Y/N still wouldn’t flirt back. He didn’t think she understood that he was serious about it.
After watching Axl’s wasted attempts at flirting with her in between his own flirting with girls, Slash waved her down and ordered another drink.
“Axl’s seems interested in you…” He trailed off with a knowing smirk.
Y/N rolled her eyes. “He’s just joking around; he doesn’t mean anything.” She said, placing his drink in front of him. Slash had a very confused and unbelieving look on his face as she did so. “What?”
“You’re shitting right?” He chuckled, looking into her eyes.
“Hum, no?” She asked though it sounded more like a question.
“You’re really thinking he’s just joking?” He asked, taken aback by her level of what could only be described as either unparalleled blindness or stupidity.
“Why the hell would he flirt with me?” She asked as if there was no obvious reason. In her mind, there wasn’t.
“For two reasons. One, he wants to fuck you. Two, he never shuts up about you, he’s a fucking schoolgirl with a crush…” He rolled his eyes, mentally replaying every time Axl had started to speak about her in his talks with him.
“Slash! What the fuck?!” She complained, slapping his arm.
“What? It’s true!” He raised his arms in surrender. “Go ask him if you don’t believe me.”
“I’m not gonna ask him that, get bent…” She spoke, walking away from him and gathering the dirty glasses left by the other customers.
Walking away from him meant walking away from Axl as well, what gave Slash a chance to talk to the guy.
“Axl!” He called over the loud music, dragging his attention away from Y/N.
“What?” He asked, finishing his drink.
“She’s not getting the hint man.” He said, pointing to Y/N. “You gotta be more obvious.”
“More?” Axl asked, eyebrows raised in surprise. “How the fuck can I be more obvious?!”
“I don’t know. Ask her out on a date or something. She thinks you’re just messing around.” He shrugged. “She didn’t believe me when I told her you liked her.”
“Fucking shit, how can she be so oblivious?” Axl groaned, getting up from his seat and walking to the end of the bar where she currently was. He let her finish some guy’s drink and then called her. “Your shift is over soon right?”
“Ten more minutes, I guess. Why?” She looked at him briefly while pouring another drink, this time for herself.
“I want to talk to you.”
[…]
Her nerves were buzzing inside her body as she ended her shift. The last ten minutes had been pure agony, trying to think about the reason why Axl wanted to talk to her.
She took in deep breaths as she left the very small room made for the staff so they could store their belongings and soon was once again greeted by booming music. She scanned the bar for a little, finding Axl in his original seat, and nervously made her way to him.
“Hey.” She greeted. Axl smiled at her as he turned around in his seat. “You wanted to talk?” She smiled back, trying to look as relaxed as she could.
“Yeah.” He answered, finishing his drink and getting up. His hand came in contact with hers and held it. “Let’s go outside.”
Y/N tried, in vain, to stop the butterflies inside her stomach at the simple gesture. She let him guide her outside the club through the back door.
She leaned against the wall while Axl let go of her hand and looked at a group of friends chatting and passing by, waiting for them to leave. The night was way cooler than the day had been and now Y/N was deeply regretting not bringing a jacket.
Axl noticed her rubbing her arms to try to keep them warm. “Here.” He smiled, slipping his jacket off and placing it over her shoulders.
Y/N smiled up at him too in a silent thank you and as the action left their noses only a few centimeters apart, she realized how close Axl was to her.
“So-” She trailed off, moving a strand of hair behind her ear and looking away from Axl’s piercing, green eyes. “What did you want to talk about?”
Axl nodded, once again taking one of her hands in his. “I’m not going to fuck around.” He warned, but that went without saying because he was not one to hold his thoughts back. “I like you. A lot. And I thought I had made that clear by flirting with you, but apparently, you didn’t get it…” He chuckled as he saw a faint blush cover her cheeks. “Look at me.”
Axl lifted her head with one hand underneath her chin. The sight knocked the air out of her lungs in a second: a street lamp was shining its light behind him, making a halo of a shitty golden color form around him; the color of his hair was more vibrant than she ever remembered seeing it and his green eyes had a crystal quality to them as he looked down at her.
“I think you like me too and that’s why I flirted. I want to give this a shot.” He said, briefly scanning her entire face. “But if I misread things, just tell me that. Because I don’t want to go around flirting for nothing.”
Axl was right, as he usually was when it came to her. She had been dreaming about being with him for months, imagining dates and talks and intimate moments to the point where her heart ached for not having them.
“I like you too.” She said.
Axl smiled at her, a little bit of relief crossing his expression. “Then why did you keep shooting me down?” He asked, confused.
“I didn’t think you liked me.” She shrugged. “You’re you, you can have any girl you want, why would you want me?”
Axl looked at her with the most unbelieving expression she had ever seen on someone. “Why? Look at you.” He cried out. “You’re beautiful, you’re hot as fuck, you’re so fucking smart, you’re kind… I can go on but I think you got the point.”
Though Y/N enjoyed all the compliments he gave her, the second one made her insides twist the most. In a bolt of confidence, that she couldn’t tell where it came from, she smirked at him. “Hot as fuck?”
Axl laughed, throwing his head back for a few seconds before looking back at her with a matching smirk. “Yes. Hot as fuck.”
He leaned down for a kiss, letting go of her hand in favor of holding her waist and pushing her up against the wall. Y/N’s hands settled on his hair, running her fingers between the silky strands and curling them around her pointer.
Axl’s mouth moved slowly against hers, but it didn’t make the kiss any less hot. It was lazy and hungry at the same time, his tongue coaxing her lips apart and playing with her own.
He began to press his body closer against hers, making any space behind them disappear. His hands had ventured underneath her shirt and were roaming her sides, still innocently, as one of his legs slid between hers.
Her grip on his hair became tighter at the newfound pressure on her clit, adding fuel to a fire that had been burning inside her since he first started flirting tonight. The action had Axl groaning softly against her lips, the kiss becoming faster and even hungrier than before.
Once again, a bolt of confidence surged within her. One of her hands slowly left his hair and began making its way down his front, blunt nails running over his faint abs before stopping right on top of his hardening cock.
“What do you think you’re doing baby?” Axl asked curiously, holding himself back so he wouldn’t push against her hand. His mouth had left hers in exchange for her neck, peppering wet kisses across her skin until he managed to find her sweet spot.
She bit her lip for a few seconds, debating whether or not to voice the current desire taking over her thoughts. Ultimately, she went for it. “I want to suck you…”
Axl pulled back from her at those words, looking into her eyes to confirm that she was serious. She was if the intense look she gave him was anything to go by. “Who am I to say no to that?” He questioned rhetorically, a small smirk adorning his lips. “Where do you wanna-”
His question was stopped as Y/N dropped to her knees in front of him. He thought she would want to go somewhere else, but he wasn’t going to stop her.
Her hands quickly undid his jeans, tugging them lower so she could pepper kisses over his clothed cock. Her breath was warm and her lips looked downright sinful, pressing up against the raging bulge inside his underwear.
She didn’t tease for too long and soon his underwear was pulled down as well, finally freeing his cock. With her eyes locked on his, she licked a long line over her palm, wrapping said hand around his cock and slowly jerking him off.
She gave him a tentative lick, enjoying the strangled groan that left his lips, before wrapping her lips around the tip, playing with her tongue around it.
“Y/N…” He moaned lowly, tone demanding yet soft. “C'mon don’t be a fucking tease…”
She high-fived herself internally for being able to get such reactions out of him and then began to move her head, taking him further down her throat until the tip was nestled against it and her nose was pressing against the hair at the base. His scent was intoxicating and Y/N could have spent the entire night just resting against him, but she’d much rather hear him moan her name and have his cum paint the insides of her mouth.
His hand had made its way to her hair, holding it in a loose ponytail as his eyes glued themselves to her lips. She was peering up at him, watching the way he was biting his lower lips and how his chest was moving more quickly with each movement of her head and tongue against him.
“Fuck baby, look at you…” He groaned, using the hold on her hair to quicken her pace. “On your knees in the middle of the street… only to have my cock shoved inside your mouth…” He moaned, weakly thrusting his hips as one of her hands cupped his balls. “Such a dirty fucking slut…”
Her free hand was resting against his thigh, nails digging against the pale skin as he continued to dictate the pace he wanted. He was getting close with each movement and she could tell that by the way his cock twitched against her tongue.
A bit later he was pulling her up, pressing a feverish kiss to her lips. “Don’t wanna cum in your mouth…”
“Wanna go to my car?” She mumbled against his lip, reaching for the keys in her back pocket.
“Yeah.” He answered, giving her one last kiss before fixing his clothes. “Let’s go…”
Their walk to the car was fast even with Axl constantly planting kisses on the skin of her neck. She was quick to unlock the doors and get in the backseat, letting Axl sit down too and then climbing on his lap, hastily throwing his jacket to the front before he was helping her remove her shirt.
Her bra came off next and soon Axl had his mouth attached to her left nipple, sucking the nub in his mouth while his left hand teased her other nipple and his right hand began to rub her clit over her jeans.
“You’re so fucking warm…” Axl groaned, pressing his fingers against her core. “Bet you’re soaking wet just from sucking my cock, isn’t that right?”
“Yes…” She moaned, moving her hips against his hand. “Fuck me please…” She begged, undoing her jeans, and encouraging him to slide his hand her underwear.
Axl complied easily, rubbing her wet folds while helping her get rid of her pants. It was a bit of a struggle to do because of her converse, but soon she was sitting in his lap in only her underwear.
“Axl c'mon…” She whimpered as he continued to rub her, wanting his cock inside her.
They both worked to get his jeans open again and soon Y/N had her hand, once again, wrapped around him. She lined herself and slowly slid down, moaning at the stretch. It had been a while for her and Axl wasn’t exactly small, much to her delight.
“Fuck baby…” Axl moaned as she sat all the way down. She had her eyes closed and a strong grip on his shoulders. “You good?” He asked, moving a few strands of hair out of her face.
Y/N nodded wordlessly. After a few more seconds, she began to tentatively move up and down on him, moaning with the pleasure. She had been so close to her orgasm just from sucking him off that she knew it wouldn’t take long to get there again.
Axl had moved his hands to her ass and was helping her move, knowing, just like she did, that this wouldn’t last long. They picked up a fast, harsh pace, the lewd sound of sweaty skin slapping against sweaty skin filling the car along with their moans and pants.
A little shift of her hips had his cock continuously hitting her g-spot, making her head drop forward and a loud cry of his name leave her lips. Her legs shook on either side of him, the movements of her waist growing desperate as pleasure took control of her body.
“Fuck baby… You’re going to cum on my cock?” Axl moaned, snapping his hips against the same spot as fast as he could.
“Yes please… Please fuck!” Y/N cried out, moving one of her hands to rub her clit.
“C'mon then… Fucking show me how good I’m making you feel…” He coaxed, taking one of her nipples in his mouth.
That action seemed to be the breaking point, and soon Y/N was moaning out his name with her head thrown back. Axl was doing everything in his power to hold off his high but as Y/N began to beg for his cum, he was no longer able to hold back.
“Fuck… Shit. Fuck!” Axl moaned, keeping his hips still and flush against hers, shooting rope after rope of cum inside her.
Silence settled in the car for a few moments as they recovered, Y/N humming contentedly as she rested against his chest, feeling his hands caress her skin.
“You have plans tomorrow?” Axl asked out of the blue, breath still erratic.
“No why?” She answered, sitting up straight and looking into his eyes.
“How about we go out tomorrow, just as two?” He smiled, pulling his hair away from his forehead.
“Want me to pick you up?” She smiled back, helping him out.
“I’ll meet you at your place at seven.” He kissed her temple. “We’ll choose where to go then.”
------
Finishing Thirsty Thursday/100 followers celebration.
Thank you so much for reading. Likes, reblogs, comments and any kind of way you show me you liked this are endlessly appreciated💛
Requests are closed.
Let me know if you want to be tagged so you know when I post fanfics.
Thanks @dustnbones for beta-reading this; check out her fic blog @dustnbonesfics💛
#axl rose#axl rose x reader#axl rose x you#axl rose smut#axl rose fanfic#axl rose imagine#guns n roses#guns n roses x reader#guns n roses x you#guns n roses imagine#guns n roses smut#guns n roses fanfic#guns n' roses#guns n' roses x reader#guns n' roses x you#guns n' roses imagine#guns n' roses smut#guns n' roses fanfic#gnr#gn'r#w axl rose#thirsty thursday
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ANYBODY I KNOW? / Short fic
#39 from this prompt list.
Again, I’m struggling with these last few prompts. I think it might have something to do with my mental state right now. So once again, I’m not too sure about this one, but at least it’s finished. Sorry I couldn’t do better.
Having a bad day and the other noticing
Florenzi really wasn’t doing well today. He was only half present on a good day, anyway, but today it was really bad. The teacher had called on him numerous times already, only to get a vague mumble in response, and David could tell Frau Liebherz was about to lose her shit and Florenzi about to get in serious trouble.
He wondered why he even cared. It wasn’t like he and Matteo were even friends. Leonie had warned him about the guy – he’s lazy, and a stoner, and can’t be trusted, had been her words. Sara hadn’t seemed to think quite as badly about him, but what David had seen in class seemed to fit in pretty well with Leonie’s assessment.
Still, though, David felt bad for the guy. His blue eyes looked a bit dull most of the time, but today, they were puffy and red-rimmed. David didn’t think Matteo could have smoked enough to get that effect during the five minutes he had left the classroom earlier to “use the bathroom”, so there must be something else bothering the guy.
Secretly, David sided with Sara on one part of the latter’s opinion on Matteo, and that was that he was cute. He had seen guys that were objectively a lot more handsome, but somehow Matteo made messy blond hair, pale skin, oversized pants, woollen sweaters that looked like he’d raided his grandfather’s closet, and eyes blue as the sky work.
“Matteo Florenzi!,” Frau Liebherz called, and both Matteo and David startled out of their daydreams. “I have had enough! You haven’t heard a word I said all class! You’re expelled from this class, go see the headmistress about what to do.”
“Ask her to repeat the difference between the thyroid and the parathyroid gland,” David hissed at Matteo, who didn’t make a move, visibly upsetting Frau Liebherz even more.
“Uhm…”, Matteo mumbled, hesitating. “No, uh, I was just wondering, Frau Liebherz, if you could maybe, uh, explain the difference between the, ummm, thyroid and the…”
“Parathyroid,” David whispered as loud as he dared.
“And the parathyroid gland.”
Frau Liebherz looked annoyed, but started delving into the differences between the two again, and before she was ready with her explanation, the bell rang.
David had packed his stuff together in a matter of seconds, and by the time he was out of the door, he noticed how Matteo still sat on his chair, slumped over his desk, alone in the empty class.
He owed Matteo nothing.
But he couldn’t leave him sitting like that, obviously in distress.
“Matteo? Are you okay?”
Matteo barely reacted.
“Yeah,” he mumbled. “Thanks for earlier.”
“Uh, you’re welcome. Are you sure you’re okay though? I could go get somebody…”
“I’m fine,” Matteo snapped. David huffed. Help a guy out and get treated like shit. Should teach him to believe Leonie in the future. He wanted to walk off, when Matteo turned away his head sharply, but not before David caught on to the tears welling up in the other boy’s eyes.
And that was enough for him to crouch down next to Matteo, and tentatively put a hand on his arm in a futile gesture of consolation. Matteo jerked under the touch at first, but then he relaxed and sniffled.
“Hey…” David felt inadequate. “Want to go out somewhere with me? Take a walk by the river? We don’t have to talk or anything.”
Matteo looked up at that.
“Don’t – don’t you have a class?”
David shrugged.
“I can skip it.”
He didn’t know what to expect, but it wasn’t Matteo fixing his big blue eyes on David, and staying quiet for a few long minutes, before suddenly saying “Let’s go, then,” and moving so fast David had to jog to catch up.
They walked, and David wanted to ask what is going on, but Matteo seemed not in the mood to talk.
But then, to David’s surprise, the other boy spoke up.
“Why did you come here with me? Why did you help me out with Frau Liebherz? We’re not friends, we haven’t even talked before today.”
Damn. David had hoped not to get into that. He shrugged again, non-committaly.
“I don’t know… You looked like shit. I just figured you could use somebody today.”
Matteo’s face hardened, and David was quick to continue.
“Listen, sorry, I don’t mean anything bad. We don’t have to become best friends or anything, we don’t even have to talk about whatever it is, I just – well. I wanted to help if I could. I mean –”, he faltered when Matteo glared at him. “Yeah, uh, sorry. Never mind. I’ll just go back.”
“No, uh –”
Matteo grabbed David’s hand, and David stood still. His eyes went to where their skin touched, and when he looked up, he was sure his cheeks were burning. However, Matteo seemed a bit breathless himself, and he quickly let go of David. David felt the loss immediately.
“Sorry, I – you, you don’t have to go, I mean.”
Matteo sounded a bit hesitant, and David felt the nerves emanating from the boy.
“Okay, let’s sit down then.” He found a bench and did as he suggested, looking expectantly up at Matteo, until the latter gingerly sat down next to him.
“We don’t have to talk,” David said after they had sat in silence for a while, “but if you want to, I’m listening.”
Matteo seemed to debate whether to say something or not, and David just looked around, not wanting to pressure the other boy.
Suddenly Matteo blurted out, “I’m gay.”
It came so out of the blue, that David was unsure he understood correctly. He whipped his head towards Matteo, who was watching him minutely.
“Okay,” David simply replied, and he noticed how Matteo’s shoulders sagged in relief.
“Yeah. I mean, it seems like it should be the least of my worries right now, with my dad fucking off to Italy with his mistress, and my mom in the hospital, and me having to go live with some strangers in a flat share, and failing Biology badly, and Spanish too if I’m honest, but –”, he took a deep breath, and David’s head reeled with all the info dumped on him, “somehow being gay feels like the thing that’s on my mind most. I’m afraid to tell my friends, and I have… this… crush…”
His voice faltered, and an adorable shade a pink crept on his cheeks. He turned his eyes away from David.
David didn’t know what to say.
“I’m sorry about your parents, and having to live on your own. And I don’t take Spanish, but I can help with Biology if you want. And as to the other thing… I think your friends would be cool with it. And if they aren’t… Well… I am kinda into a boy too.”
Matteo’s eyes flew up again, staring at David.
“You are?”
David nodded, noticing Matteo sounded a bit overwhelmed, and not trusting himself to speak right now.
They didn’t move for a long beat, and then Matteo whispered, “Is it… somebody I know?”
David nodded again, fascinated by Matteo’s blue eyes, staring into them.
“And you?”, he breathed out. “Anybody I know?”
“Yeah,” Matteo murmured.
If David had been watching him just a bit less intensely, he wouldn’t have noticed Matteo’s eyes dropping very briefly to David’s lips, and his pupils dilating slightly. As it was, though, he didn’t miss any of Matteo’s actions, and they set loose a horde of elephants in his chest.
“Who?”, he asked, bluntly, needing to know for certain.
“I’ll tell you if you tell me too,” Matteo said, and when David agreed, he started counting. “On three. One, two, three –”
“You,” they said simultaneously, confidently, strongly, looking each other in the eye.
David saw his own wide smile mirrored on Matteo’s face, and then, slowly, they leaned towards each other until their mouths found each other.
When they finally let go, Matteo grinned.
“Best day ever,” he said into David’s skin, and David couldn’t agree more.
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Real to Me (A Sanders Sides Princess and the Frog AU) Prologue
First | Next
Summary: Virgil Bast grew up in a poor neighborhood in New Orleans, learning from his family’s work ethic and never once slowing down from the day he could get a job of his own. He’s always been kept company by his best friend, Patton La Bouff, son of the richest man in New Orleans.
Prince Roman of Maldonia has always been surrounded by praise, money, and almost anything he could ever want. Prince Remus, on the other hand, has never really been what you might call the pride of Maldonia.
And the Shadow Man has only ever wanted to punish those who’ve done wrong, helped along by his Friend on the Other Side.
Relationships: Platonic moxiety, eventual prinxiety
Characters: Virgil, Patton (eventual Roman, Remus, Janus, Logan, C!Thomas)
Warnings: None for this chapter! (There will be eventual unsympathetic Janus and Remus, but they get redeemed. There will also eventually be racial prejudice, but no slurs or physical violence.)
Word count: 1644
A/N: Hi, I’d like to preface this fic by saying that I’m not black. Although I am non-white, I also don’t have the same experiences as black people do and therefore cannot do their stories justice the way that they can.
I really debated on how best to write this au, because I want to give the best representation that I possibly can, and I even considered just scrapping it. However, I was really excited about it, and in the end I wanted to provide what representation I can, because as a racial minority myself, I know that some representation (so long as it’s accurate) is better than none at all.
There are no internal monologues about being black in this story, because I don’t know how that would go. I also realize that not all black people share the same exact thoughts/opinions and since I can’t use my own personal experience with racism for this, I figured it best to leave out the internal aspects of it altogether, so that I don’t misrepresent the black community. There is, however, some racism aimed at some of the characters by others. This is something I felt like I could accurately write about, having witnessed and experienced racism myself. The racism is there, presented, and condemned, but I don’t offer much more than that. Discrimination on the basis of race and/or color is something that too many people have faced, and I felt that it was too important to leave out of the story altogether (especially considering it’s part of why Tiana struggled to get her restaurant in the movie itself).
If you made it this far, thanks for reading!! This is something I’ve worked hard on, and I really hope you enjoy it! This first chapter is going to be mostly characterization and setting up the rest of the story, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!
Without further ado, I give you Real to Me!
“Just at that moment, the ugly little frog looked up with his sad, round eyes and pleaded, ‘Oh, please, dear princess, only a kiss from you can break this terrible spell that was inflicted on me by a wicked witch!’”
Virgil felt Patton lean over to him to loudly whisper, “Here comes my favorite part!” Virgil mentally prepared himself for what he knew was coming next.
“And the beautiful princess was so moved by his desperate plea that she stooped down,” Patton was leaning in now, “picked up the slippery creature,” Virgil was leaning away, “and kissed that little frog!”
Pat gave a squeal of delight and grabbed the cat that was walking by, squeezing it so tightly its eyes seemed to pop out. All while Virgil was dramatically sticking his tongue out as far as he could.
That was one thing about his friend that Virgil would never understand. How could Patton possibly think that the story was anything but unrealistic and unsanitary? The princess could’ve contracted some disease! Or maybe the frog was lying and he wasn’t even a prince?! Who came up with those stories?? He needed to have a talk with them.
“...and they lived happily ever after!”
He heard Patton sigh with delight before looking at Virgil’s mama with pleading eyes. “Will you read it again Mrs. Bast?”
“Sorry, honey, we’d better be heading home,” she said with a kind smile. “Say goodbye Virgil.”
“There is no way I’d ever ever EVER kiss a frog. Yuck,” Virgil ranted as he gathered his things from around the room.
“Even if he turned into a prince after?” Patton asked.
Virgil nodded hard. “Especially if he turned into a prince. Princes are just rich boys who do nothing all day but ride on their horses and dance with pretty ladies. I’d have to do all his work for him!”
“Nuh-uh!! Princes are brave, and polite, and after you’re married, they only dance with you!” Pat defended.
“You don’t kn-!”
“Evening Eudora!” Patton’s daddy called as he turned into the room.
“Daddy! Daddy!” Pat jumped up and down excitedly. “Look at my new dress!!” He twirled around to show off the fluffy, sky blue gown Eudora had sewn for him.
“Why, I’d expect nothing less from the finest seamstress in New Orleans!”
“Well thanks, Mr. La Bouff,” Eudora Bast replied. “Sorry to leave so soon after seeing ya, but we’d best be heading out now.”
Virgil vaguely heard Mr. La Bouff give his well-wishes to his mama as Pat was walking over to say, “What if the prince wasn’t lazy and boring? Would you marry him then?”
“I’d only marry him if he wasn’t just some prince in a book,” Virgil stated matter-of-factly. “He has to be a real person that I can talk to.”
“Well duh, silly! You can’t marry a book!” the blond boy laughed.
“Virgil! It’s time to go home baby, your daddy should be home by now,” Eudora called to him.
He ran over to where his mama was standing in the wide, elegant doorway and shouted, “Bye Patton!”
“Bye Virge!!”
~
Virgil always liked the ride home. He could watch the other people on the tram, and wonder what they’re like, and stare out the window at the fuzzy streetlights in the distance. Plus he got to lean his head on his mama’s shoulder and feel the tram rock side to side. It made him feel safe.
When they got near their neighborhood, Eudora whispered, “Go ahead and pull the cord.”
Virgil waved goodbye to the driver as he hopped off the tram and onto the sidewalk. He looked up at his mama as they walked down the street. “Why does Pat wanna marry a prince so bad? He’s already a prince, pretty much.”
“I don’t know sweetheart.” The lights made his mama’s face look so warm. “Maybe he wants to make it official. You could ask him sometime.”
“No,” Virgil said thoughtfully, “I think I’ll just help him find his prince. Oh! That can be his birthday present this year!!”
Eudora laughed lightly and smiled down at him. “I think that’s a great idea, hon.”
Voices rang out from houses along the streets, and Virgil could see families laughing together through some of the glowing windows. The two of them stepped up to the old, brown house and the door that creaks when you open it. As soon as he stepped inside, Virgil smelled the most amazing gumbo in the world, the kind only his daddy could make. He could almost taste it in the air. That, in combination with the yellow light coming from the kitchen and his daddy’s heavy, brown coat draped over the living room chair made Virgil feel like there was a fire in his chest, the kind that you have at Christmas.
“Daddy! We’re home!!”
Mr. Bast looked over his shoulder at the two coming inside, and smiled big. “Hey, Virge! I’m almost done chopping veggies, you wanna help me finish?”
“Yeah!! Can I taste it?” the boy asked as he dragged a chair over to the old stove.
“I’d be hurt if you didn’t,” James joked, helping him up. “How ‘bout you put these peppers in?”
After they’d let the ingredients stew in the pot for a while, Virgil put the wooden spoon to his mouth and his daddy asked, “How’s it taste?”
“Hmm…” Virgil tapped his chin a bit before quickly sliding to the floor, running over to the cupboard, and grabbing a bottle of tabasco. He dashed back over to the pot and shook in some of the sauce. “There! Try it!” The curly-haired boy handed the spoon over to his dad. He laughed as his daddy made a big show of tasting it.
“Mmm, now that has to be the best gumbo I ever tasted!” James grabbed Virgil under the arms and swung him to the ground. “Why don’t you go with your mama to call the neighborhood over? I’ll grab the pot.”
Virgil slid out of his daddy’s arms and nodded before running to the door. He flung it open and shouted as loud as he could, “Hey, everybody! I made gumbo!!” His mama reached where he was standing on the porch and stood behind him proudly, while the neighbors greeted him with “Woo! That smells good!” and he replied with “I made it almost all by myself! My daddy helped a little though.” Mr. Bast spooned out some gumbo into everyone’s bowls, and one by one they picked up their spoons.
It was quiet for a little, the kind that happens when your family’s sat around the table and it’s been a long day, but now you get to eat something and it barely even matters what it is because you’re all eating it in the same place at the same time. Then, though, people start saying things like “Mm-mm-mmm!!” and “this is fantastic Virgil, you must’ve gotten your daddy’s talent.” He could barely stop smiling long enough to chew. (His mama didn’t say anything about chewing with his mouth closed.) (This time.)
~
That night, when Virgil snuggled under his covers, he was smiling. He felt his mama sitting down on the bed by his feet. James was standing right next to her.
“You know the thing about good food?” Virgil looked up at his daddy. “It brings folks together from all walks of life. It warms them right up and it puts little smiles on their faces.” He tapped Virgil’s cheeks when he said it. James pulled a piece of paper out of his shirt pocket and showed it to Virgil, a drawing of a beautiful golden room with fancy tables and soaring ceilings. There were lots of people in the picture, musicians and waiters and diners with nice clothes and big feathers. “When I open up my restaurant, I tell you, people are going to line up for miles around just to get a taste of my food.”
Virgil sat up at that. “Our food.”
“That’s right, baby. Our food,” his daddy laughed and handed him the picture. The boy held it gently in his hands, like it was the most precious thing in the world.
Suddenly, Virgil got up and said, “Oh, look!” He stared out the window.
“What is it, hon?” Eudora craned her head to see what he was looking at.
“Patton’s fairy tale book said if you wish on a star, it’s sure to come true!”
James smiled at him and said gently, “Well, you wish on that star. You dream with all your heart. But remember, Virge, that star can only take you part of the way.” Virgil looked away from the star and back at his daddy. “You’ve got to help it along with some hard work of your own, and then, yeah, you can do anything you set your mind to. Just promise me one thing.” Virgil held his eyes. “That you’ll never, ever lose sight of what’s really important. Okay?” He nodded hard, twice, just to be sure his daddy knew he was serious.
His mama reached over to rub the tight black curls on his head. “See you in the morning, baby.”
“Get some sleep,” James told him.
“G’night,” Virgil whispered as he snuggled deeper into bed.
When the door closed, he hopped up again and went to the window. He could still find the star he had been looking at earlier — it was the brightest, and almost in the very middle of the sky. Almost like it was standing on a stage, waiting to be seen. Virgil closed his eyes and held the drawing to his chest. “I wish, I wish, I wish…”
Rrrrrribbit.
Virgil slowly turned to see the frog on the windowsill.
If he screamed, it was nobody’s business. (His mama and daddy were lucky enough to enjoy his company that night.)
~
A/N: Ok so I realize that it’s a lot of just quoting the movie, but I liked the way they set it up so I figured why fix it if it’s not broken right? But from here on, the characters deviate more from those of the movie, so the dialogue will be a whole lot more of my own :) it’ll be a lot more interesting next chapter, I promise. (And Virgil will be grown next time.)
Taglist: @prinxiety-shipper101 @meowthefluffy
#if anyone wanted to comment on this maybe#i would be forever in your debt#👉👈#even if you just pressed and held the a key in the tags#anyway thank u for reading 🥺#prinxiety#sanders sides#sanders sides fic#platonic moxiety#virgil sanders#patton sanders#sanders asides#real to me#real to me fic#princess and the frog au#poc sides#poc roman sanders#poc virgil sanders#childhood friends moxiety#childhood friends
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Fantastic Four Vol 1 #153
Wed Jul 31 2019 [01:24 PM] Bocaj: The number pile doesn’t stop from getting taller [01:24 PM] Wack'd: Say hi to Tony Isabella, who has the thankless task of wrapping this up, and then will never be seen again [01:24 PM] Bocaj: Hi tony [01:24 PM] Umbramatic: bye tony [01:24 PM] maxwellelvis: Introducing and saying goodbye to Tony Isabella [01:25 PM] Wack'd:
[01:26 PM] Umbramatic: pffft [01:26 PM] Umbramatic: i love ben [01:26 PM] Bocaj: They’re talking more slowly. This would be fun to see voice acted [01:26 PM] Wack'd: So it turns out the only way to break out is to do things slowly. You know. Ben and Johnny's specialty [01:27 PM] Bocaj: Pfft [01:27 PM] maxwellelvis: Beeeeeeeeeeeelaaaaaaayyyyyyy thaaaaaaat phaaaaaaaaseeeeerrrrr orrrrrrrrrdeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr [01:27 PM] Wack'd: Reed gets Johnny to create a constant heat source that will eventually melt the top of the cage [01:27 PM] Wack'd: Which works [01:27 PM] Bocaj: Science [01:28 PM] Wack'd: They are immediately recaptured [01:28 PM] Wack'd: I swear to god sometimes Fantastic Four is just 80s Doctor Who [01:28 PM] Bocaj: Dammit tony [01:29 PM] Wack'd: "Don't get angry or threaten them. The only thing to do with male supremicists is to debate them calmly and rationally"
[01:31 PM] Umbramatic: i mean "male supremacists" and "stagnated mentally" at least go together I guess? [01:31 PM] Wack'd: So Reed, Johnny and Ben are hit with some sort of ray that saps their will to fight, and then they are thrown into an arena [01:31 PM] Wack'd: And then Thundra refuses to sleep with Makizmo so she is also thrown in the arena [01:32 PM] Umbramatic: i am imaging them all just being [01:32 PM] Umbramatic: yeeted unceremoniously into this thing [01:32 PM] Wack'd:
[01:32 PM] maxwellelvis: insert Jazzy Jeff footage [01:33 PM] Bocaj: I can’t believe Makizmo is an incel [01:33 PM] Bocaj: Hahah just kidding yes I can [01:33 PM] Wack'd: "I'm tryin' to build a brand here, Matchhead!"
[01:34 PM] Bocaj: Stumpf [01:34 PM] Wack'd: Reed you are literally the only person I've ever seen call you "Mr. Fantastic"
[01:35 PM] Bocaj: I think it’s been pointed out a lot what a incredibly cocky name choice that was [01:35 PM] Wack'd: Dammit Buckler that's just Thanos
[01:36 PM] Umbramatic: gremlin thanos [01:36 PM] Bocaj: Everyone else goes super descriptive or deprecative and he’s like “from now on everyone call me Mr Fantastic” [01:36 PM] Bocaj: Hey that is basically just Thanos what’s the deal [01:36 PM] Wack'd: I mean it's a coincidence or Buckler being lazy because he immediately gets burned to death by Johnny [01:36 PM] Wack'd: I do not blame Buckler if he's just been kinda phoning this in [01:37 PM] Bocaj: (Reed not only insists that everyone call him Mr Fantastic but he also then insists that the team be named after him. What a dill pickle) [01:38 PM] Wack'd: Hey actually this is Buckler's last regular issue! [01:38 PM] Wack'd: So it's kind of a shame he's phoning it in, actually [01:38 PM] Umbramatic: aw [01:39 PM] Wack'd: So Makismo decides he's gonna kill them himself and then he fails to do that so he turns the anti-fight-ray back on because he's a sore loser [01:39 PM] Bocaj: With a dumb name [01:40 PM] Bocaj: Machismo, what a rube [01:40 PM] Wack'd: Meanwhile it turns out Medusa--okay so y'all remember the basic premise here is that one future timeline is ruled by men, one is ruled by women, and they're slowly merging together which will destroy both timelines and also the present [01:41 PM] Wack'd: Well Medusa left earlier to get Doom's time machine, slip into the lady-timeline, and bring back a buncha ladies as reinforcements [01:41 PM] Wack'd: Unfortunately the anti-fight-ray effects them too, but Medusa's immune because she's an Inhuman [01:42 PM] Wack'd: So she beats up a buncha guards to buy Johnny some time to melt the anti-fight-ray [01:42 PM] Wack'd: Which I guess doesn't count as fighting? That feels like a cheat but it did specify fighting rather than general violence so [01:43 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Mikizmo has this thing where he can harness nuclear energy [01:43 PM] Wack'd: And he's about to use it when Thundra and Ben punch him simultaneously, causing him to explode [01:44 PM] Umbramatic: boom [01:44 PM] Wack'd: A...happy ending?
[01:44 PM] Bocaj: Get dunked guy [01:44 PM] Wack'd: Okay so ladies are fighting male oppressors, that's a plus [01:44 PM] Wack'd: But they're also smooching male oppressors which 😬 [01:45 PM] maxwellelvis: Um, I think you misread that, Wack'd [01:45 PM] Bocaj: I don’t want to know what Reed’s idea of sexual equality is [01:45 PM] Wack'd: And also the Femazons kept men as slaves which goes completely unaddressed [01:45 PM] Umbramatic: oh [01:45 PM] maxwellelvis: The guys who are getting kissed are the Femizon's men. It's all the Machus men who are being beaten up by their oppressed women. [01:45 PM] Wack'd: So the women fight back against their oppressors [01:46 PM] Wack'd: And the men...smooch their oppressors [01:46 PM] Wack'd: Still not great! [01:46 PM] Bocaj: Seduce your way to the top [01:46 PM] Bocaj: Like male drone [01:46 PM] Bocaj: Drow [01:46 PM] Umbramatic: osadocfJNWDGFHNATRG [01:46 PM] Wack'd: Anyway with the problem fixed Reed, Johnny, Ben, Medusa and Thundra are expelled from this new world back to their own [01:47 PM] Wack'd: Except it's *not* Thundra's own, so???? [01:47 PM] Bocaj: It’s not her world anymore [01:47 PM] Wack'd: It's not any of theirs anymore! [01:47 PM] Wack'd: That was the point! [01:48 PM] Wack'd: Ah yes, "the sexes are equal by choice", truly an accurate descriptor of earth in 1974 and also in general
[01:49 PM] Umbramatic: *Edward Elric faceplam*
[01:49 PM] Wack'd: noooooooope nope nope don't care for this one bit
[01:50 PM] Wack'd: I know eventually Ben and Alicia will see other people [01:50 PM] Wack'd: And I am not looking forward to it [01:50 PM] Umbramatic: oh
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Fetters of the Mind
Alternative title: Depression is a Bitch
I mostly wrote this earlier in the week when I had a day like this. If you needed Aymeric telling you it's going to be okay, just pretend this isn't about Serella ; ;
I need to get up, Serella told herself for what felt like the hundredth time in the last hour.
There were people who would doubtless have need of her today—because when didn’t they, she thought with a grumble—and she had much to do besides. The knowledge of that did not provoke her into action as it might have on another day.
She was…tired in a way that she had not been for some time. Tired in a bone deep, spiritual sense that moved beyond the physical—though she was also physically tired despite getting a rare full night’s worth of sleep.
She felt as though she were fettered to the mattress, weighed down by something she couldn’t see sitting on her chest. It was hard to breathe, even as she struggled to understand why. Something akin to fever—because it couldn’t just be a fever and she was fine, she told herself— warmed her head and made her uncomfortable, her thoughts hazy.
She had been fighting off a mild cold, she knew, but this was…different. Sure, her head felt like someone forcibly shoved cotton bolls inside her skull but this was a darker, more insidious ache that had gripped her bones.
Even as she knew that she had to get up, she burrowed under the blankets with a weary sigh. The simple act of opening her eyes exhausted her, so she simply lied there, awake but not present.
The house creaked under the harsh, frigid winds outside, and though it tired her she shivered from under the blanket. She should get up to add logs to the furnace, or at least stoke a fire in the fireplace downstairs. Even through the duvet she could feel a chill settle in the house. She’d have to be the one to do it—Aymeric had left for work some hours ago.
The thought of him working himself sick as he always did while she lie there caused guilt to slither uncomfortably in her gut. Her trauma was not so bad as his, and doubtless his own emotional damage from the things inflicted upon him in his life caused him no small amount of trouble, and yet he still got up and dealt with it today. Here she lie wallowing for not feeling good.
Stupid. Weak. She berated herself, even as she couldn’t scrape together the energy to move.
From downstairs, Rhalgr let out a loud, yowling mraw, doubtless to alert her that he required feeding. Her ears picked up Vardr padding impatiently on the main floor along with his sibling, and would doubtless come to hound her for food in the next few minutes if she didn’t feed them.
With herculean effort, Serella pulled herself out of bed and trudged down the stairs—if she couldn’t take care of herself, she could at least take care of those that relied on her.
What about everyone else that relies on you? Guilt hissed.
What indeed, apathy replied.
Still, since she was up she might as well tend to the furnace like she knew she should. She could do that much, surely.
Her pets were fed, though her mental state must have been evident even to them, as they looked at her curiously when she did not lavish them with more affection beyond a few pets. While she was thinking on it, Vardr needed to be let out—she couldn’t imagine that Aymeric had the time to do it this morning before he had to run to work.
She was going outside anyway, she reminded herself as she slung a coat on and ushered her faithful companion out the front door.
She hadn’t even realized this was one of Aymeric’s coats until she picked up his scent faintly off the collar. Not bothering with the fastenings, she wrapped it tightly around herself and breathed as deeply as she could to glean what comfort there was to be had from his scent. As Vardr trotted nearby in search of a good place to relieve himself, Serella dragged herself to the furnace.
She saw that there was more wood chopped and lined up for use than there had been last she checked—Aymeric or Uthen’s doing, most like. Perhaps a combination of the two, and she simply hadn’t paid it any attention. In a better state of mind she would make a note to herself to thank them.
She was just glad she didn’t have to relight the furnace and had recently cleaned its flute, as she needed only to toss in a couple of logs and shut the door.
Frostbite duly delayed, Serella paused long enough for Vardr to conduct his business in the bushes before ushering him back in the house.
Her lover’s coat duly hung upon the rack again, she lingered a moment in her living room, her tired gaze drifting to the stairs leading back up to her bedroom. For how heavy her limbs felt they seemed an impossible, impassable mountain, and a part of her wondered if Aymeric minded coming home to see her passed out on the couch. Again.
Don’t be so lazy, she chastised herself, even as she was slow to climb the steps. If you’re so tired, then you should be in bed—or are you just faking it?
An absurd question to ask herself; who was she putting on this supposed theater for? Her pets?
Knowing that didn’t ease the guilt, the feeling like she was pretending. Because she was the Warrior of Light—she had stable income, a home, a loving, extensive family she had chosen for herself, and a purpose in her life. There were so many others with so much less, so why did she have the right to grouse?
Such thoughts were silly, she knew; her disposition didn’t prevent such feelings, though that knowledge didn’t prevent their intrusion in her mind all the same.
Flopping unceremoniously atop her bed and burrowing under the duvet, she closed her eyes and forced herself to sleep again. At least then her thoughts were quiet.
When she woke next, it was to the sound of the bedroom door opening. Blearily cracking her eyes open she found the room almost completely dark, save for the light flooding in from the hallway. Even as unfocused as her eyes were she recognized Aymeric’s tall frame in the doorway.
“Ella?” He said, clearly surprised. He crossed the room in long, quick strides and seated himself on the edge of the bed. “Are you alright?”
I’m alright, her usual reply instantly sprang to mind—though even when she had given the easy lie before, it had been on…better days.
“I’m just tired,” she wound up saying, voice cracking from disuse.
He tilted his head and looked at her with such concern that the guilt she had managed to forget about clamped down on her stomach again—he had enough to deal with, she didn’t need to foist her moods upon him.
“I was thinking of making tea,” Aymeric spoke up. “Would you like to have a cup with me?”
She hadn’t realized she’d foregone food and drink for the entire day until he offered. Her stomach, reminded of the hour, protested her neglect with a rumble.
“Come, dear one,” he coaxed her with a kiss to her temple. “Let us sort out dinner together, hm?”
Though her limbs still felt leaden she forced herself out of bed again—though stiffness had settled into her bones, and she figured moving around a bit would benefit her.
She tried to walk down the steps with more grace than she had managed that morning, though how successful she was remained up for debate. Aymeric didn’t comment either way, for which she was grateful. She sat on one of the stools at the counter and stretched out her legs, wincing at the loud protests of her muscles from her neglect.
“What kind would you like?” He asked, already filing through the sealed tins of the various blends she had available.
She found the question odd for him, creature of habit that he was. “Don’t you mostly drink Coerthan tea?” She asked.
“I am open to suggestion,” he answered easily with a smile over his shoulder. “You seem to have a more experienced palate for such things.”
“…Orange and cinnamon.” She answered hesitantly. “It’s sweet on its own from the oil in the orange peels.”
The curious arch of his brow told her she had his interest, and he plucked the labeled tin off the shelf with enthusiasm and took to preparing the kettle.
“Sorry,” she apologized on reflex. “I didn’t…I didn’t make anything for dinner.”
He looked at her in surprise. “You have naught to be sorry for.” He replied.
“Feel like I do,” she tried not to grumble, truly she did. “I was home all day.”
“Resting, I should hope,” he replied easily. “I am not the only one who has been worried.”
“Worried?” She parroted, straightening in her seat.
“Uthengentle came to check in on you when you did not answer your linkpearl,” he explained as he filled her boilermaster kettle with water.
Serella’s stomach dropped. “I was asleep,” she said, and hoped that he wouldn’t pry too deeply into her sleeping for almost an entire day.
“Have you been feeling ill?” He asked, flicking the switch to the kettle on and turning toward her.
“I think I’ve been fighting something off.” She latched on to the out.
He nodded but still looked concerned, peering at her from the other side of the counter.
“How can I help?” He asked—and just this once she cursed his perceptive nature.
“I don’t know.” She answered helplessly.
“That’s alright,” he said. His expression was soft as he spoke. “I am here for you,” he laid his upturned palm upon the counter in offering. “In whatever way you need me.”
She blinked down at his offered hand, surprised that he was using her own tactic for when the nightmares plagued him. It surprised her even further that she hesitated in accepting it—for how touch oriented her affection was, why did the thought of him touching her fill her with such dread? He had only ever been soft with her—what was wrong with her?
“I know,” she said, and she felt like she was tainting him when she brushed her fingers along his to coax his hand into closing. “I-I’m sorry—“
“Ella, look at me.” Aymeric spoke patiently.
Feeling keenly aware of the reversal of roles, she swallowed the lump in her throat and did as he asked. He regarded her with a soft but worried smile.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He said with emphasis slow and sweet like honey dripping from his lips.
“Alright,” Serella said, and almost to herself added, “I’ll…I’ll be alright.”
“I know.” Aymeric said, pouring her tea in her favorite chipped green mug. “I will be here regardless, love.”
“Thank you.” She said, for the tea and his tenderness both.
Dinner wound up being an entirely indulgent affair of sliced meat, cheese, and some freshly baked bread Aymeric was kind enough to make.
The second they situated themselves on the couch their pets were on them in an instant, Vardr warming their feet while Rhalgr sat stubbornly in Serella’s lap. While grateful for their comfort, she made a point to keep her plate well out of Rhalgr’s reach as she nibbled.
Their conversation was about anything but what was bothering her—because she still didn’t really know besides—and she was glad for it. She was glad for him.
She was glad for all of her boys, she amended after supper when they laid in bed together. A little less touch averse after having some food and drink in her system, she laced her fingers with his and tried not to laugh when Vardr flopped down and took up much of the bed so they wound up pressed together regardless. Rhalgr, doubtless aware of his mistress’ distress, molded himself to the curve of her hip and promptly began a mix of snores and purrs that only a cat could accomplish. She felt herself smile as a softer sort of exhaustion overcame her. Her eyes drifted shut.
“I love you,” she heard Aymeric say.
“And I love you.” She answered without thought.
She felt him squeeze her hand as she drifted, aimlessly, into slumber. She hoped he knew how much he meant to her, even in her darker days.
#aymeric de borel#serella arcbane#ffxiv#depression#hi i hate my brain have i mentioned that before?#i'm mostly just sort of using this as a vehicle to write out how some days just sort of happen don't mind me#i am as ever your shield
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Walking in a Winter Wander-land!
Brunch is one of those words that as soon as I hear it there little me inside that does a little dance. If you want me to get out of bed suggest brunch! One of my favorite places in Edinburgh for Breakfast, Brunch , Lunch or Dinner is Dishoom. I love everything about the place. The décor, the smell, the food and the fact that the toilet has a pull chain, I just love.
Sausage Nann (no coriander), Fire Toast and a Flat White was a fantastic way to start a Saturday. Sitting in the Permit Room with all the hustle and bustle of fellow Brunch-ers helped warm me up after practically risking my life for Bombay’s best.
3 days of being stuck inside because of the Beast from the East meant cabin fever was setting in. I needed to get out and do something. Usually at weekends I sway between being active, going and doing things and staying in the flat and having a chilled lazy few days. Cabin fever made this Saturday’s decision was a lot easier, I must say! I hadn’t ever seen Edinburgh in the snow, not proper snow anyway, and with it being successfully picturesque on a normal day, whitewashed Edinburgh was a sight I had to see.
Once fed and watered it was a wander we needed. The decided route for the day? It was up Calton Hill, followed by the length of the Royal Mile...although in reality we made a few stops and detours along the way. But hey is it really a wander if you have everything planned out?
After a lap of a snowy St Andrews Square we headed up to Calton Hill, nearly getting hit by a car on the way, which always makes life a little more interesting. With the snow being pretty thick and this being a top tourist spot the snow had turned rather icy. Can’t say I managed to keep a straight face watching the non-locals tackling the stair case shaped ice rink, with half their bodies being wrapped around the hand rail. We, safe to say, chose to take the alternative path up round the hill. At the top we were greeted with views all the way past Leith out to Fife. Everywhere you looked there was a dusting of white as like the icing sugar on top of a Victoria sponge (the cake cravings started here).
From Calton Hill we wandered down a path to the bottom of the Royal Mile, The Cannongate. We took a wander round to see Arthur’s Seat however we didn’t risk climbing it as that isn’t how I pictured myself going and I am still debating some of the final details of my funeral (it is going to be good so definitely save the date). Off up the Royal Mile we went. Just as I was starting to move into Spring the snow shoved me right back to winter so I thought it was only right to shove myself even further back to Christmas. There is a beautiful little Christmas shop half way up the Royal Mile which is open all year round. As soon as you step inside of it you feel transported into a festive Aladdin’s cave. Christmas decorations, snow globes and wreaths galore. They had hand painted Christmas baubles which displayed some of Edinburgh’s beloved monuments which would look fabulous on my tree. I couldn’t justify buying a Christmas decoration in March so made a mental note to make a visit as soon as the 1st of December hits.
Our next stop up the Royal Mile was into the Tron Krik to the market. I love on my wanders around Edinburgh popping in and having a browse at what’s on offer. There is one stall in particular I always look and debate buying from every time I go. They sell great prints of Edinburgh, which are so full of colour and character, but the reason I have never bought one is the sizes on offer weren’t big enough. Today I decided to ask about their one large framed print and turns out they had larger prints the whole time. Just goes to show, don’t ask, don’t get! Although, wish I had used that logic 4 months ago...
We continued up to Edinburgh Castle. The castle doors were closed due to the weather, however the snow cover esplanade was glorious. From here we risked our lives, those stairs had not seen a grain of salt!, getting to the Grassmarket and round onto Grayfriars Kirkyard. After many previously failed attempts at trying to hunt down Tom Riddles grave, today was the day myself and the young ‘he who shall not be named’ finally met. I must say though the view Tom has, I would argue is one of the top spots in the Kirkyard. Two snaps for you Tom!
By this time the cold was starting to set in and we both needed a warm through. As Dale Winton would say ‘Bring on The Wall’ (please bring back that show, it was the best Saturday night TV ever!). The Wall is one of my favourite coffee shops in Edinburgh, located on Cockburn Street. That said, last time I was there I was looking forward to my usual, cake served with ice cream, only to be served with a lonely slice of cake. With my bar lowered it was to my delight to be presented with Cake WITH ice cream AND caramel sauce! Could my day get any better? yes it could, I even got the prime people watching seat.
I don’t think there was a better way to spend a snowy Saturday than wondering in the winter wonderland that is Edinburgh and bookend-ing it with food. Here to more snowy Saturday’s – but preferably between the months of November and February.
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Craigslist - Ch3
Summary: James and Sirius are looking for a roommate for their Los Angeles house - Remus has just moved from Dublin needs a place to rent while he goes to graduate school. One Craigslist ad later, the three of them find themselves living together and shit is bound to get complicated. Featuring trans Remus and the wonder of Wolfstar.
Author’s Note: Sorry, sorry, sorry to have left anyone in suspense. I could give you tons of excuses for why this chapter took so long to write (working three jobs, finally coming out to my parents etc) but there’s also just the fact that this one didn’t want to be written. There are a lot of voices in this chapter and they spent most of the time talking over one another in my head. Anyway, enjoy this mess of a chapter, in which Remus meets the other queers that make up this motley crew, everyone gets blisters from Ikea construction, and someone is pushed in the pool. I should also mention that Remus’ experience of his gender is based on my own gender journey™ and does not speak for every trans guy etc. etc. Onwards!
You can also read this story on Ao3 or FF.net :)
Lily E: So you want me to come over to the mansion for a party? Me: I told you, we're building furniture, it isn't like it's going to be a star-studded affair. Lily E: I don't know about that, James is going to be there right? Me: Yeah but Lily... Lily E: Okay okay. You want me to bring coffee? I'll pick up Mary on the way for some more backup. Me: Am I even breathing? Of course I want coffee. She's the one that I met at the department welcome party right? Lily E: Yeah. She lives like a block away from me so we see each other all the time. Me: I really liked her. Lily E: We'll see you at 2! :)
In the morning, I tiptoed downstairs before either James or Sirius woke up so that I had time to shower and get changed without having to put on my binder again on the way down. After cleaning up, I pushed my suitcases to the side of the pool house, trying to make room for the boxes of furniture that the Ikea guys would be bringing. Sirius and James said that we could build out on the patio so that we'd have more room and then we'd carry everything into my space to set it up. That way everyone could work and hang out in the same area. It only took a minute or so to get everything out of the way, so I wandered into the main house to watch TV and make coffee and hopefully have a few minutes of relaxation before the backyard was inundated with cardboard and spare screws.
Sirius was even awake before noon, if people were going to coming over, he would get up early (apparently 11:30 am was early for him) so that he had time to make sure his hair was washed, blow dryed, and presentable for the company. James assured me that this was normal for him, that it was part of his routine. I tried my utmost not to laugh at this but (unsurprisingly) did not succeed.
"I know, I know," James said, running a hand through that crazy hair of his, "Sirius is, well, he's a bit extra."
I raised my eyebrows and James folded, "Okay he's absolutely ridiculous. But he means well."
“What does it say about you that you’re his best mate?”
James shrugged, “That I have a heart of gold and can’t resist a basket-case?”
“Takes one to know one.”
“Very rude thing to say Lupin. And to think we took you in.”
“Took me in? I am paying rent you know, I’m not a lost puppy.”
James shrugged and busied himself pouring milk into his coffee.
I continued, "I mean Sirius does have really nice hair...both of you do. Actually I was wondering if it's a requirement for living in the house...?"
"Don't worry, your hair is passable enough for you to stay."
"You don't think I could use a new conditioner?"
James leaned against the counter of the kitchen, his long lanky body stretched out like a lazy cat. He was wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with the name of the NPR radio station that he worked for and a set of old sweatpants that looked like they’d been turned soft with over-wear. His glasses kept sliding down his nose a bit as he spoke and he hesitated, perhaps not sure whether to use the hand not holding his coffee mug to push them back up or to continuously muss up his own hair. He was, objectively, quite handsome in that annoying I’m-not-even-trying-this-is-how-I-woke-up fashion I never seemed to pull off. I tried not to blame this on him. "I mean I think maybe Sirius has some extra moroccan argan oil that you could borrow."
"What even is that?!"
"I honestly have no idea," James sipped from his coffee mug nonchalantly, "Something that Sirius puts in his hair once a week and then wraps it up in a towel so he looks exactly like some basic white girl who just got out of the spa."
"I'm really looking forward to seeing that."
"Ugh I don't know why. I can’t unsee it"
I pulled a shot from the espresso machine at the counter and grabbed some almond milk from the fridge. Once the coffee was made, I perched myself on one of the bar stools near the enormous kitchen island.
"So what time is the furniture coming?"
"Around 2 this afternoon. Did you guys get in contact with your friends?"
"Yeah Marlene and Dorcas are coming over around 3 after Dorcas finishes practice for the day."
"Practice?"
"She works for the Galaxy and she's there for their practices and stuff. Used to be a soccer player in college."
"They really didn't have to come over to build my furniture."
"Is this going to be a thing with you?" James looked smug, "You know, like you're always going to be saying that people don't have to do things for you?"
"What? I--"
"Anyway chances are Sirius is going to put the legs on the wrong side of your bed and fuck the whole thing up or something so don’t thank anyone just yet."
I grinned at him, "He does seem pretty confident about his building skills for someone that didn't even know Ikea existed."
James rolled his eyes and sighed, "Yeah well he's confident about everything isn't he?"
______
By two in the afternoon James and I had settled into comfortable silence, each tapping away on our computers while old 30 Rock episodes played in the background and we waited for the Ikea guys to arrive. Sirius emerged from upstairs in a cloud of steam and cologne. His hair was, after all the discussion between James and I, looking perfect -- like he had somehow managed to make it silky, smooth, shiny and healthy without making any effort at all. He actually flipped it as he descended the stairs and James rolled his eyes at his computer without even looking up.
“Sirius you’re the gayest fuck I’ve ever seen.”
Sirius laughed, “Watching a lot of gays fuck recently James?”
“Yeah right! Your friend Evans is coming over today right Remus?”
I narrowed my eyes at him, “I don’t see why that’s relevant James.”
Sirius saw me and threw himself down on the couch next to me, I shook my head at him. "You smell nice."
"I know." The cheeky bastard winked at me.
James tapped out a text on his phone, "Don't compliment him Remus, he's already got more self-confidence than is normal for several people."
Sirius grinned, "Turns out I have enough talent for several people too so it actually works out perfectly."
"Talent," I said, "talent doing what?"
"Wouldn't you like to know."
I must have blushed bright red because James couldn't stop laughing.
“Can you fucking stop Sirius?! You’re going to give him a goddamn heart attack and we finally found someone sane to live in the pool house.”
I was going to protest this, I didn’t need James coming to my rescue and I’d be happy to put Sirius in his place myself, but before I had the chance to voice any of this the doorbell rang. Padfoot rocketed downstairs barking madly and Sirius threw himself over the back of the couch to run down the hall to the door as well. James, on the other hand, hadn’t moved at all, hadn’t even looked up from his phone screen.
"LESBIANS! THE LESBIANS ARE HERE," Sirius bellowed.
For a moment I wondered whether I should meet Marlene and Dorcas at the door or stay put but by the time I had decided to get up, Sirius' loud voice echoed down the hall "What the actual fuck? You're not our lesbians."
"No, we're not anyone's lesbians. Sirius this is Mary, Mary this is Remus’ mental new roommate. What have you done with Remus? Did you kill him already?"
Lily Evans appeared in the doorway to the hall looking as if she’d somehow captured the sunset, her long red hair shining, her bright green eyes flashing and in her hands, two large cups of coffee. I'd never seen anything more beautiful. She set her bag down on the kitchen island and as she did, her eyes fell on the La Marzocco in the corner.
"You didn't tell me that you had an espresso machine here Remus."
Oh, she was angry. "I mean, erm, I didn’t realized that I did until this morning."
"So why did I stop and get coffee?"
"Because, you love me and value our friendship?"
She pushed the cup into my hand a bit roughly but laughed anyway, "God knows why I do. You're nothing but trouble."
Mary walked into the room closely followed by Sirius, who was already trading hair-care secrets with her. She was shorter than Lily by a bit, with a heart shaped face, large soft eyes, and short dark hair with straight bangs. We’d met once before at the departmental mixer that was meant to entice visiting prospective students to attend USC. Since we both studied film, Lily had gotten us talking and we’d spent the better part of the party debating the best superhero movies, the idiocy of colorblind casting, and whether or not live-action movie remakes of anime were always doomed to fail. Today she was wearing an oversized button down shirt and leggings and smiling from ear to ear as she humored Sirius. "Yeah,” he said, “but I use the coconut oil in the summer when it gets hotter 'cause my hair tends to get more brittle around then."
Mary smiled at me, "Hey Remus."
I hugged her, she smelled like rosewater, "Thanks for coming. I know this isn't probably the most exciting social event that you've ever been invited to."
Mary shrugged, "Well it was either this or read and annotate another book of theory that I should have started much much earlier in the summer so, at least building furniture includes good company and free food.”
“Yeah,” Sirius snapped in front of James’ eyes, since he was unabashedly staring at Lily, “James order that pizza.”
The doorbell rang again.
I let the Ikea guys around the back and had them stack all the boxes on the patio. I tipped them and by the time they’d left and I was back in the kitchen, everyone was grouped around the kitchen island looking over the pizza menu and arguing about the perfect toppings.
“No dumbass,” James was saying, “Dorcas is a vegetarian.”
Sirius giggled, and said in a whisper, “vag-itarian.”
Lily knocked him over the head with an open hand.
“What?! I’m allowed to say that. She’s my lesbian.”
“Pretty sure that I’m Dorcas’ lesbian, dog-breath.” A girl I assumed was Marlene was leaning against the back sliding door that I had left open. She had big blue eyes, black eyeliner so sharp that it was borderline dangerous, and blonde hair that cascaded over her shoulders and in gentle waves. She was willowy with long arms and legs and pale skin that made her bright red lipstick stand out even more. She was dressed in a old Ramones t-shirt that was once black but was now a faded grey and was tucked into high-waisted black jeans. My immediate impression was of a girl that had spent her whole life being the hot one, and with an entrance like this one, she might give Sirius a run for his money to win the award for most dramatic.
Behind her stood another girl with dark skin and incredibly curly hair that was shaved on the right side. She was a bit taller, with a gold septum piercing and a Los Angeles Galaxy t-shirt. She had a wide nose with a smattering of freckles across it and her cheeks, even a few dotted her full lips. She wrapped an arm around Marlene’s waist and smiled down at her, and when she spoke her voice was measured and reassuring, “You know we could have just come through the front door.”
“Sure,” Marlene smirked, “but look at their faces.”
Sirius ran over and grabbed Marlene, picking her up and spinning her around before she smacked him enough times that he put her down. Then he put his head between her breasts and she pushed him away.
“You fucking asshole,” she laughed, “You can’t get enough huh?”
Sirius turned to Dorcas as James greeted Marlene with a normal hug.
“You better be giving her so many orgasms.”
Dorcas raised her eyebrows, sizing up Sirius who was almost the same height as she was, “More than you did you big queer.”
James went around the room and introduced everyone, “Marlene, Dorcas this is Lily and Mary and that over there is Remus Lupin our new roommate and the one who is forcing us into slave labor this afternoon.”
I waved a bit half-heartedly. If I’m totally honest, I sometimes get a bit awkward around lesbians. It’s not a misogynist thing, they just tend to be able to spot gender-nonconformity better than gay guys or heteros. I think it must have something to do with the fact that butches are so accepted as a part of lesbian culture in the way that really femmey gay guys can sometimes be on the outs. It doesn’t really matter, I guess I’m just always nervous that they’re going to say something, out me in a way that will make other people notice what they may have overlooked before. Plus, I did spend quite a bit of time as a butch before I began transitioning. Sometimes I really miss being a part of that family.
Dorcas nodded at me, “Nice to meet you Remus. I hope these idiots haven’t given you too much trouble.”
“No,” I smiled, “But I’m sure they will.”
Marlene squealed, “Oh my god listen to that accent.” She crossed the distance between us in two short steps and just as I went to stick out my hand she swept me into a bone-crushing hug. I panicked and patted her awkwardly on the back of the shoulder. She smelled fresh, like clean laundry and lavender and some sharp citrus fruit that put me in mind of summer and elaborately fruity mixed drinks that disguised the amount of alcohol contained within. She let me go eventually, but only as far as her outstretched arms reached, which she had on my shoulders. She looked over at Dorcas and grinned.
“He’s fucking adorable. Can we keep him?”
Sirius laughed a booming bark of a laugh that sounded remarkably like Padfoot, “You can’t have him Marls, he’s mine...I mean you know, ours.”
A chorus of “Ohhhhhhhh” went up from James and Marlene and James winked obscenely at me while nudging Lily in the ribs (she looked less than thrilled about this, rubbing the spot in her side where James’ elbow had hit and looking put out). I extracted myself from Marlene just as Dorcas began to lead a chant of “Freudian slip, Freudian slip!” at Sirius. For the first time in the few days that I met him, embarrassment flit briefly across his face before he expertly replaced it with sassy defiance (apparently his go-to look).
“He should be so lucky,” Sirius gestured to his body, “to have all of this. But you know I’m a free spirit, uncagable, unflappable, uncomparable.”
“Incomparable,” Mary offered, “you can’t just make up words.”
“Oh Mary darling,” Marlene offered, “Sirius does whatever the heck he wants, literally all the time.”
“And the world, is better off for it.” Sirius supplied, “Now it seems to me that we’re all just fucking staring at one another when we should be staring at one another while holding booze. James, order the damn pizza already.”
James got on the phone, muttering something about having Sirius’ credit card number memorized and once we were all supplied with beer or some ridiculously strong mixed drinks that Sirius had whipped up we trooped out to the backyard and divided the boxes up so that a group of two or three would tackle each piece of furniture. I smiled, sipping my beer, and thought vaguely that mixing alcohol and flat-pack furniture construction may not have been the smartest idea. If I had any luck, most of the bigger items would be finished before anyone got so intoxicated that they couldn’t decipher the instructions (which, after all, only had pictures and not written steps). Sirius and Lily started putting together the bed, James sat with Dorcas and Mary and began on the dresser and Marlene stood next to me staring at the pile in between large gulps of something with pineapple and rum in it.
“I should warn you,” Marlene stressed, “I consider myself far too beautiful to work up a sweat.” She laughed as she said it, and the way she cocked her head reminded me forcefully of the same gesture Sirius had made a few times already. The two of them really were a dynamic duo. It was as if the same being had been split into two queer people, one dark and the other light -- the yin and yang of overconfidence, stunning looks, and that weird borderland between charming and insufferable. I wasn’t sure whether she was being funny or trying to get out of helping or both? The comment disarmed me, and I didn’t exactly know how to answer this pronouncement. I settled for shuffling a bit back and forth from one foot to the other.
“Erm…”
She must have taken pity on me, “I am just kidding! Jesus you are new aren’t you? Okay, I’ll do my best to be a reasonable human for a bit and we can bring you into the kiddie pool one foot at a time.”
I must have looked as confused as I felt at this.
“We’re kind of a weird but dangerous gang,” she shrugged, looking out at an already squabbling Lily and Sirius, “it’d probably best if you don’t dive head first into it or you’ll catch the strange.”
“Don’t worry,” I assured her, “I’m good with strange.”
“Then you’re going to fit right in here. Now pick a box and let’s get all this heavy lifting over so we can drink for real.”
The building went largely without major incident. Sirius did accidently try to hammer his own thumb and at one point James put the legs on the wrong side of the desk but no one (either human or furniture) was seriously maimed or broken which was a triumph considering. It only took two hours to put together everything but the side tables and the shelves, which I was planning to do in front of the TV the next day. The back patio was scattered with discarded instructions, the odd screw or plastic piece that had seemed suspiciously extra, and piles upon piles of now empty cardboard boxes. The pizza was passed around, second and then third drinks were poured, and everyone was nicely buzzed by the time the sun had started to creep down into the treeline and the warm summer breeze had cooled into a balmy and pleasant evening whisper.
Marlene and Dorcas turned out to be hilarious company. They struck a balance, Marlene flitting around and seemingly unable to stay on either one task or one topic for more than a few minutes at a time, Dorcas followed after, redirecting Marlene, teasing her, and largely keeping her as focused as possible. Marlene had a habit of leaning back against Dorcas whenever they stood near one another, so that Dorcas would wrap her arms around Marlene’s waist and this seemed to encapsulate their relationship as I observed it. Dorcas, a bit quieter, nevertheless was whip-sharp, with a sense of sarcasm that lashed hilariously but not maliciously out at James, Sirius, and Marlene in turn.
Sirius and Marlene, on the other hand, only seemed to dial one another up. They were waging a noisy and over-the-top war of the wills, trying to out-do one another in ridiculousness and shock value, which led to overly detailed jokes and jibes about one another's’ sex lives, fancifully extrapolated stories that got grander and more unbelievable as they were told, and at several points, all-out physical play-fighting which left both of them complaining about the other’s attacks on their hair.
I sat on the edge of the pool, jeans rolled up and toes swirling through the water. Lily was next to me, working on the same something that Marlene had been drinking earlier. I gathered that this pineapple concoction was one of Sirius’ specialties and accordingly, I had decided to stick with beer. Lily, on the other hand, was on either her fourth drink and I was about to suggest that she perhaps have a water or two before Sirius poured anything else for her to drink. However, he looked awfully busy -- he, Dorcas and James were trying to arrange the cardboard boxes into a fort, standing the long ones up and using the shorter ones as building blocks or mock furniture. Marlene was of course sabotaging the building, sneaking from side to side kicking over boxes while trying to avoid being swept up into the arms of her girlfriend.
Mary sat down on my other side, adding her feet to the water and gripping the edge of the pool with her hands. Lily looked up and smiled at her.
“Having fun Mary? You’re awfully quiet.”
Mary rolled her eyes, “I’m not sure how anyone could get much of a word in with those four around.”
“Yeah,” I agreed fondly, “they are a bit more than I’m used to.”
“The decibel level alone,” she stated, but with more edge to her voice, “it’s like looking after my three nephews, I’m exhausted. I don’t think I could ever live here if they’re like this all the time.”
Lily laughed, a golden sound that hung in the air before her, causing James to momentarily look away from his cardboard construction like a dog catching sight of a squirrel, “They are literally building a fort with boxes so perhaps the comparison isn’t entirely unfair.”
“I kind of like it,” I shrugged, “I can just sort of observe. Anyway, it’s nice that they don’t care about looking like utter pillocks. I miss being that care free.”
Lily nodded but Mary looked at me strangely, “But you’re so mature. I mean, I…” she blushed but soldiered on, “you seem like the kind of guy who prefers um...I don’t know...different company. More grown-up or intellectual company.”
Lily intervened, “I think Mary means you seem like an old soul.”
Mary nodded quickly, “Yeah, that’s one of the things I like most about you.”
This struck me as odd considering Mary and I hadn’t spent much time together at all. Sure, we’d got on well at the departmental event, but I didn’t think we’d spent enough time together for her to determine the age of my soul at all, or to make a list of things that she liked about me, marking ‘old soul’ as the most liked. I didn’t like what was happening here. She seemed to have decided that in some way she or I or maybe the both of us were above Sirius, James, Dorcas and Marlene. Why? Because they were loud and exuberant? I gazed back over at their makeshift fort, which they were now trying to get a roof on without knocking over the walls. Marlene had apparently given up her attack and was stretched out on one of the lounge chairs shouting directions which Sirius and James were studiously ignoring. Dorcas had gotten ahold of a fat marker and was drawing windows on the outside of the walls.
I smiled at Mary but inside I was feeling the beginnings of anger bubbling up in my gut. “Just because they’re loud and like to have a bit of a craic doesn’t mean they’re un-intellectual,” I snapped at her and she looked taken aback, “perhaps you should lighten up a bit Mary. It’s a drinking session not a seminar.”
I stood and withdrew my feet from the pool, walking away while trying to avoid looking back at what I’m sure would be Mary’s angry face. Where did she get off insulting my new roommates, my new friends? I was feeling oddly protective of these fools and their cardboard house and their stupid fruity drinks. Something in her undertone, something in the intellectual snobbery that turned me off from many of the graduate students I’d met in the past, something about a cis straight woman sneering down her nose at a group of queers. I knew that I was probably overreacting, it was probably partially the beer making my anger spike higher than it normally would have (I definitely felt it rush to my head as I stood from my place on the edge of the pool). But these weirdos had given me a place to live, had already made me feel at home, accepted, one of the gang as Marlene put it.
It was a short skip from thinking you’re smarter than someone to thinking you’re better than them. And another small jump to thinking you know what’s right for them. I shook my head attempting to clear it. Poor Lily, she was going to have to do some damage control with Mary but, I reminded myself, she’d been the one to bring her in the first place. I walked over to James, who had finally got the roof to stay and was standing back from the fort admiring his handiwork.
“Well done mate.” I grinned at him, forcing myself to leave the unpleasantness of Mary’s jugement behind, “Now I’ll have somewhere to live for that rent I’m paying you.”
“Are you kidding Lupin? You couldn’t afford this place. We’re going to be listing this masterpiece on Craigslist for double what you’re paying for that hovel of a pool-house.”
Sirius poked his head out from the inside of the fort, his hair sticking out of its bun at all angles, “Bullshit! There’s no way I’m letting anyone else live here! This is my damn castle. I just finished the throne for christsakes.”
“Permission to enter, your highness?” I bowed low.
Marlene laughed from her chair and hollered at me, “I imagine he’s been asked that a few hundred times before!”
Sirius shot her a scathing look before nodding at me in mock solemnity and affecting an over-the-top British accent that likely would have sent Lily into a rage, “Permission granted my good sir, do watch your head.”
The inside of the fort was a bit stuffy and unsurprisingly smelled overwhelmingly of slightly damp cardboard as a few of the boxes had drinks or pool water splashed upon them in the construction of the fort. It was dark and in the fading sunset light filtering in from outside I could just make out the stack of smaller boxes that Sirius had arranged to create a kind of weird chair. It didn’t look like it was going to support his weight but it was decorated with some of the leftover hardware from the building which caught the light and glinted silver.
“Allow me,” Sirius continued in his accent, “to give you the royal tour.”
“Carry on, my liege.” I laughed.
“Over here,” he gestured to one corner of the fort, “you’ll find the grand reception hall where the lords and ladies gather to shower their king with gifts, affection and compliments.”
“As well they should, your highness,” I supplied, trying to suppress a giggle.
“And here is of course, the royal throne. Perfectly constructed to flatter the royal behind, which is of course the king’s most valuable asset.”
“Asset?” I laughed, breaking character, “Really?!”
“Don’t sass me Lupin.” Sirius barked, “a royal must be both mentally and physically a paragon of beauty and class.”
“Wait but I thought you said you were the king?”
Sirius looked scandalized, and clutched a hand to his chest. “You wound me, mortally. How dare you speak such to your king?!”
“Well I don’t know how you got to be king, I didn’t vote for you.”
“TREASON.” Sirius yelled, “TREASONOUS SLIME. GUARDS!”
Dorcas’ head looked around the side of the entrance to the fort.
“What are you screaming about you fuckwad?”
“THIS PEASANT HAS DARED TO QUESTION MY ROYAL LEGITIMACY!” Sirius pointed at me accusingly and I saw a flash of mischief in Dorcas’ eye that I didn’t like the look of, “OFF WITH HIS HEAD CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD.”
Dorcas looked mock-seriously at me, “Did you, sir, question the legitimacy of our lord and savior, king of the box-fort and royal jackass, Sirius Alastair Gerald George Harold Anthony Black the Third of his name?!” I marveled that she was able to come up with so many middle names at the drop of a hat and then briefly wondered whether Sirius didn’t actually have several middle names. Maybe that was his actual name? Impossible.
“I did!” I pronounced defiantly, “And I shall continue to do so! Liberty for the people!” I thrust my fist into the air at the same time James pushed one of the walls in on me, resulting in a mess of cardboard and limbs. Somehow in the confusion, James and Dorcas managed to each grab one of my arms, shouting things like “Traitor!” and “Death to the rebellion!” and “Long live King Sirius!” I found myself extracted from the remains of cardboard castle and frog-marched to the edge of the pool. It only then dawned on me that perhaps I should have thought through my rebellion before committing to the cause. But it was too late to turn back now.
“End the monarchy!” I cried, trying to push back against my captors and get a foothold on the slippery wet edge of the pool, “We shall not be enslaved by tyrants!” I caught sight of Lily and Mary, still sitting where I had left them, both looking incredulous and confused at the pandemonium issuing from our end of the pool. Dorcas laughed until she was tearing up and Marlene shouted from her place behind us, “END HIM MY KING!”
James turned, struggling to keep a hold on my right arm and looked straight at Sirius. I twisted around to look at him too. He was drawn up to his full height, having extracted himself from the ruins of his cardboard castle and he looked down his nose at me in mock-disgust, his haughty cheekbones and strong brow making him momentarily look truly like the royalty he was pretending to be and he extended his thumb sideways before rotating it to point down. It was only a half a second later that I was hitting the surface of the water, the screams of triumph echoing behind me as Marlene, Dorcas, and James yelled “LONG LIVE THE KING.”
At least, I thought, emerging to the surface sopping and laughing so hard I didn’t think I’d be able to stay above the surface of the water, at least Mary had taken the brunt of the splash.
#craigslist#goddamnit i love these fuckers#long live the cardboard king#wolfstar#remus/sirius#hp fanfiction#marauders fanfiction#remus lupin#sirius black#james potter#lily evans#my fic
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