#i am also in love with adam
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now i haven't finished the dream thieves yet (i'm like,,, 7 chapters away from finishing) and i think this may contain spoilers???? but i'm not too sure yet. i'm basically gonna word vomit. i'm sorry for not using any quotes, i wish i could but i only have the ebook version and a very limited storage space on my phone where i can only have ~two books downloaded
like a normal person, i enjoy listening to video essays, see what creators want to explain to their audience and leave with a certain view, try to come to my own arguments about certain points in the videos, see if i can apply some points to other aspects of my life etc etc. (this was the type of shi that helped me with my eng lit essays rip i miss alevels) and like a normal british citizen i looked up stuff about classism in the uk. in the end, i found a video essay about classism in general and how the ultra rich try to mimic being poor to get away from their hard issues that comes with being rich (which, frankly, is probably a lot less compared to someone who is working class).
recently, i was talking to my friend about specifics in the book about certain characters and i remember we went onto the convo of making music playlists for the characters. they said "it's gonna be hard for adam [...] cuz his whole thing is about being unknowable" and it always struck me with how unknowable he truly is when reading his character because his character is intrinsically linked to his working class background. (context: i'm a middle class child of immigrants who built themselves in the uk)
it's very clear the kind of social commentary stiefvater wanted to make using adam's character with how isolating and alienating it can be coming from a working class background trying to assimilate yourself into a society of those protected and privileged enough to not have any problems with accessing opportunities. how class is a huge obstacle between interpersonal relationships and feeling safe enough to be vulnerable with your issues with being working class. how difference in class can cause one-sided shame because of the meritocratic society we're living in. how, no matter how much money you earn or how many connections you can make, your attachment to your working class identity can be enough reason to aim for something supernaturally larger than yourself.
it's evident that other characters overlook adam's social class because he's a "self-made man" (or smth) and mainly because he's their friend: adam. however, when we get a chapter in his pov, class is a driving factor in how he interacts and views everyone. we can see the privilege gansey and ronan have for being able to not even consider class as an intimidating aspect about themselves to a normal person, but it's everything to adam in the sense that he feels like his earned money doesn't give him access to a similar respect.
now that i truly think about it, it was a good idea for adam not to join them in monmouth manufacturing because it just feels like they're... mocking him in an indirect way? they have the ability to choose to live in a nice place and instead chose to live in a random, run-down building because it seemed aesthetic. adam was forced to live in a rundown trailer because that's all they could have afforded. i know gansey had good intentions for wanting adam to join them, but everything that he likes as an aesthetic (monmouth manufacturing, the run-down camaro, eating mint leaves instead of gum) can seem like he's flaunting the fact he can choose that lifestyle without any consequences.
back to the point of the meritocratic society (which we usually assume in books that take place in a similar world as our own) creating shame because of their class: the assumption that because someone has worked hard to earn what they have gives them a right to be proud. but this is the opposite for adam as he fights with the fact that he could have maybe be seen as even more equal to gansey if he had just been born with wealth.
we can frame it as, maybe, despite gansey's desire to appear working class, it only broadens the distance between him and adam. it only worsens adam's difficult relationship with his class shame despite probably wanting to be more relatable or even laid-back.
when reading the second book after his sacrifice, i was confused as to why adam was so un-adam-like. i mean, in the first book i didn't really understand him because of his huge insistance that his class makes him inherently inferior to everyone he surrounds himself with and i don't see class as an issue myself.
however, his sacrifice basically was watering the seed of ambition that was planted when he decided to aim for aglionby. it becamse clearer to me how much this opportunity to be superior, even if it's supernatural and terrifying, is important for him understanding in what he thinks he lacks. by those thoughts of what he lacks, he thought that this chance to be cabeswater's channel could be a way to compensate for his inferior social class. or something.
anyways, thank you for coming to my ted talk. this is not proofread, and my sister keeps nagging at me to shower. also i simp for gansey do not think this is me trying mischaracterising him i'm just trying to understand the theme of class in this series and having gansey as a figure to compare to is literally integral.
#the raven cycle#the raven boys#maggie stiefvater#adam parrish#richard campbell gansey iii#ronan lynch#social classes#my sister looked at my screen and went 'what the freak why are u writing a reddit post'#i told her i was on tumblr n she said it was the length of a reddit post#i am in love with gansey#i am also in love with adam#and his unknowable-ness#i need to get this off my chest because i cannot keep bothering my friend with my stupid theories and analysis#i also don't share it cuz ik they already know it#help i need to finish reading it instead of analysing this
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No further questions necessary your honor
#windyart#scribble comic#the hollowridge disaster#hiiii have another silly comic that popped into my brain the other day#sorry for so many silly comics lately i am working on way big projects atm and i do these to chill out in between those big sprints#and also i have been thinking about these guys so much i love them so dearly#adriel#adam#knife#dragonfang#gore#blood#um. idk what to tag this as#crunch
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Shoutout to Kyle Adams for singing "Drink with Me" right at Enjolras. Facing him directly, staring into his soul, his voice breaking. 12/10 I'll never recover
#my friend who's never seen les mis also loved kyle adams' (full) performance so I am SO validated#she also was like 'he sang drink with me RIGHT at Enjolras'#les miserables#les mis musical#kyle adams#grantaire#bern speaks
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alright i'm going to be a brave little toaster because this is my blog and i can write whatever i want forever! hilson, yes. toxic yaoi, yes. I get it! I do! It's great! but also... we as a fandom need to be way more insane about the women in this show. we need to step it up. 2025 should be the year of Being Crazyinsane About House MD Women. join me in the trenches, comrades. it's liberating
#house md women appreciators i see you and i love you#i see so much hilson. and hilson is great!#but also: we need more love for the girls independently and not just as part of house's team/in the context of their relationship to house#being crazyinsane about thirteen since 2023 has made me 100% embrace 'i am cringe but i am FREE'#i have no more fucks to give#and it's great!#house md#allison cameron#lisa cuddy#stacy warner#amber volakis#remy thirteen hadley#martha m masters#jessica adams#chi park#<- park is not a woman to me he's a lesbian. nonbinary lesbian. gender is lesbian. something something. but canon#says they're a woman so in the tags of this post they go#dominika petrova#i hope i didn't forget anyone major#anya shush
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"I'm the dog they put with cheetahs to keep them from going crazy in captivity" x "I'm the cheetah that is threatening to go crazy" 4 ever
(I make a webcomic about them)
#GODDDDDDDDDDD I love them#theyre so.....#I just.#good. theyre good#I need the comic to come back NOW...#no I dont. I havent finished enough yet#I've finished 7 episodes so I gotta make 3 more minimum but 8 more ideally. which is. a big gap..#anyways I got up early to draw this cause I couldnt sleep#and someone shared it in a server I'm in and I was like. oh I have to#but now I'm super tired and I can sleep#so good night. enjoy my beautuful art of my beautiful vampires#'good ngiht' it is 10 30 am.#sleep. she betrays me yet again.#anyways working on coming back working on kickstarter stuff working on book 4#working on commissions working on my patreon...#work work work work#trying to be forgiving of myself LOL working like 50-70 hours a week and still feeling like its not enough#imagine if I WASNT on meds rn. I'm focusing better and there's still just way too much sheesh#super need some support but also I'm chillin#I was assigned an editor and she has not given me a single note#so I'm like uhhh. rlly feeling aimless and lonely#I'm doing very good work its some of my best stuff#but...#yeah. idk. just a lot HAHAHA#but I got like 45 mins to do a quick drawing#for my mental health...#time and time again#adam and steve#ttawebcomic#adam
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#I am literally going insane!#gif three is giving. practicing a presentation or pitch. or statement. specter ross era. they're a team!!!!#and mike's like. analysing but also. the touch so familiar gentle 🥹🥺#and GIF FOUR. I HAVE STARED AT THIS FOR HOURS NOW?#happiest they've ever been because they're! in! a relationship! now! open close comfy loose happy happy happy themmmmm them them#they're just??? they're literally each others. couldn't be more compatible. more simpatico. with any other.#they invented being in love. no one will ever be it like they are#anyway thank you t-mobile for my monthly put-them-in-situations + remove-the-context + brainstorm-it-from-there -athon 🙏#suits#suits tv#suits usa#marvey#harvey specter#mike ross#gabriel macht#patrick j adams#harvey x mike#mike x harvey#tmobile#t mobile#t-mobile#late to the party on this one lol but I am turning up the music! marvey party never stops
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The Exorcists’ Masks of Virtue
The vast majority of Exorcists in Hazbin Hotel have a notable design element that other angels don’t: their masks are missing an eye. Specifically, the right eye.
I believe this is a reference to the Bible, Matthew 5:29. Jesus says, “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”
He’s being hyperbolic. Mr Free Healthcare was not pro-mutilation. What he means is that you have to be willing to make sacrifices to prevent sin. The context of the eye metaphor is him condemning adultery and warning that even something as easy, casual and small as a look full of lustful intent can lead to further, worse sin if you don’t notice your sin, hold yourself accountable for it and do the work to not let it influence your decisions. This will probably be hard. It could be very, very painful. Changing your perspective can feel as horrible as plucking out your eye, so many people can’t bring themselves to do it. But although it won’t feel that way in the moment, it’s healthier for our general wellbeing in the long run to abandon traits and behaviours that damage ourselves and/or others.
(You may notice that Jesus’s teaching that you can have sinned, redeem yourself by giving up sin and thus escape damnation is the founding principle of the Hazbin Hotel. You may also notice that it contradicts everything the Exorcists believe.)
The Exorcists seem to follow this idea of painfully excising badness for the sake of the greater good devoutly to the point of placing it above teachings like ‘Thou shalt not kill’, with their job being to remove sin, in the form of sinners, to protect Heaven. Hence the missing right eyes. They’re a declaration of moral righteousness and inability to stumble.
But the truth is that the Exorcists all have their right eyes. Their flawlessness is a facade. Underneath, they are untouched, think themselves morally untouchable and, as shown by their horror and outrage when even one of them is killed, would much rather be physically untouchable too. This perfectly represents their complete unwillingness to acknowledge their own faults, let alone improve. They are never the ones who sacrifice. They force the sinners to sacrifice and don’t compensate it with any salvation. They metaphorically rip out the sinners’ eyes, but still condemn their entire bodies as inherently, permanently sinful. So they’ll just have to do another Extermination to get the other eyes! And another one to cut off their right hands! And so on until there’s nothing left.
The only exception to the rule is Vaggie, both in appearance and character. Her mask has the left eye crossed out instead. Even before her expulsion, she’s set apart to the audience as an Exorcist who has the capacity to, shall we say, see a different side of things. Her mask having its ‘sinful’ right eye reflects her understanding that the Exorcist worldview is wrong.
When she almost kills a demon child, her hateful vision clears. She discards the part of herself that’s an unquestioning, merciless agent of death, terror and grief… and as punishment for what Lute perceives as treacherous weakness, gets her eye plucked out.
Of course Lute leaves her with only the ‘sinful’ eye. It brands Vaggie forever as the inversion, a perversion, of what the Exorcists are meant to be.
You know, all this talk of eye removal in the Bible reminds me of another line - ‘an eye for an eye’. Adam directly quotes it in “Hell is Forever”. He uses it to frame the Exterminations as Old Testament-style punitive justice; the sinners did harm and so they receive it. But putting aside the debate about how ethical the concept of revenge is, the entire point of taking an eye for an eye is that it’s proportional. The punishment fits the crime. If someone cuts your eye out, you shouldn’t murder their whole family in front of them and then slowly disembowel them to death. That would be the sin of wrath. You should just make them pay without excessive pain or collateral damage. This is the fairest form of revenge.
The Exorcists don’t do that! The Exterminations aren’t proportional to the wrongs of all they hurt, nor was Vaggie’s brutal punishment equivalent to her extremely mild insubordination. Lute literally takes Vaggie’s eye, and more, after Vaggie does nothing to her! That’s the opposite of the phrase! Adam and his soldiers are wrathful and cruel, deriving satisfaction from others’ suffering. But they just can’t stop going on and on about how disgustingly evil the sinners are, in total hypocrisy… despite some of the sinners being far better people than the genocidal Exorcists are… it’s like they’re obsessed with specks of dust in the sinners’ eyes when they have massive logs stuck in their own. Oh hey, that’s in the Bible too!
#both emotionally and symbolically i am rooting for vaggie or charlie to take out one of lute’s eyes#i was like ‘cool vaggie’s missing the opposite eye to her former mask!’#and then i went back and saw that her mask was also different#and then i went down a rabbit hole of biblical mentions of bad things happening to eyes#i know god and jesus (and the holy spirit) probably won’t appear in the show#at least not in person#but i do cherish the mental image of adam and his genocidal army hanging out#when jesus christ bursts in with a whip#and gets all ‘you have made my father’s house into a den of thieves’ on them but an order of magnitude more intense#because HE SAID LOVE ONE ANOTHER#WHERE IS THE LOVE#HE SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED IT#i’m not christian! i’m a hardcore atheist!#religion is just as fictious to me as egyptian mythology#however i am also autistic and have major special interests in mythology and folklore#so here i am fervently writing analysis of the sermon on the mount#hazbin hotel#hazbin vaggie#hazbin hotel vaggie#vaggie#hazbin hotel exorcists#hazbin exorcists#hazbin hotel analysis#hazbin analysis
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“i believe in the idea that old bits of equipment have songs built into them already, like a ghost in the walls.”
#i love the way his mind works so much i don’t even know how to talk about it#this is such a fascinating insight into his creative process#also idk which of these interviews came first but i love that he speaks in such similar patterns about the same idea#it’s clearly a thought he’s really spent time with#and i also love how adamant he is that he can’t play the piano 😂😭#alex turner#arctic monkeys#alex vid#am era#lulu posts
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I just uploaded the draft of my last Johnlock fic on AO3, to be posted on New Year´s Eve. It's 221 words.
I also just put my whole novel, based on a Johnlock fic, into one document and formatted it to send to publishers. It ended up being 221 pages.
#i take it as a sign that it's indeed finished#the page number made both me and my husband tear up#what are the bloody odds??#i didn't expect this christmas to be as transformative as it has been#i also didn't plan to finish my last johnlock fic and my original johnlocky novel at the same time#this really is goodbye and it feels so bittersweet#i love those boys#both john and sherlock and my john and adam#but i also am excited to focus on writing about fertility female bodies and motherhood which is next on my list#i'm moving on and it's both exciting and sad#now cross your fingers that someone will want to publish the novel
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here together
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#lobotomy corporation spoilers#abram lobcorp#i didnt know that the song that plays during day 48 ending is called 'here together'.#couldnt hear it well because i typically have my sound low (sensetive to louder sounds) and also the dialog fucked me up#so when i pressed on it to hear it. to actually listen to it. then to see the name and remember what it Looked like#i got teary eyed. sorry.#it happened quite. afew times when finishing this shitty thing#i was thinking of how camren's not quite corpse looked as if it were reaching out to him inside the container#how it looked as if she had wings. abrams words. the line from one story that was--#something like 'we were hoping it was just one big prank and she would hop out fro. around the corner with a smile on her face'#how do you move forward when all you think you cause is pain? when everything else youve done only brought to bring people you love to thei#downfall and demise inside agony and fear as they lay dying. none of that was merciful. none of that was just. they were told to carry on#her dream and he views as if all he had done was to become cruel and wasnt fit and never even began to finish what she started.#it was so striking to me. the language he used. sleeping. alseep. waken. when all the others never sugarcoated it#in lobcorp they always said it straight. 'suicide' 'killed' 'dead'. but he used something far more.. peaceful? kind in wording in a way.#softer. describing death as if it were a merciful thing. an end that suits them and not something to be afraid of. to just... sink. to slee#to be with carmen again. to put everything to an end#the place they built with their hands. to have it just... stop. not in a way of repeating and staying in the moment#but of a permanent end. to 'sleep'. to die. to just.... stop. forever. to see no more. to do no more#to not be able to do Anything for when ever he had done Something it just cause agony. cruel hands partaking in acts he so deeply#regrets. everything is just regret. it sounds nice. to move on. to just move forward. but how can you move forward when all you think you#bring to those you cherished and couldnt leave behind is pain?#ill likely move this somewhere else as well. ive been meaning to talk about abram#the rest as well actually. mostly just the few final days w abel adam and abram since i am STUCK ON DAY 49#oh dear i uh typed a lot in the tags. oops
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post saw 2004 bathroom trap situationship
#real to me#adam voice. yeah hes like. well hes married .. hm? oh yeah to a woman. yeah but theyre like getting divorced .. he still says hes not gay#but yknow .. i think i love him but he shot me and its kinda a sore spot#haha get it.#lawrence voice. it doesnt make me gay .. what? i was married to a woman i Am married to a woman. yeah well .. hm? well maybe i do love him#its just .. a lot. i also shot him and he stalked me. of course we havent spoken about it are you crazy. jesus christ#chainshipping#📹
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I need an answer why do y'all hate on s7 like it's in vogue here what is going on I fucking loved that season. like hello? I can't decide if s5 or now s7 is my favourite of the show it was that good of a watch to me
I missed the closeness of the scoobies so bad I didn't even realize until we hit episode three and I was aching for it. oh, god. and the spuffy of it all! I can't even get into it right here but ohhhh. oh. and DAWNIE my sweet girl oh sweet niblet I love her so much. anya's episode? probably one of my favourite episodes of the entire show tyvm. I really liked kennedy and honestly I think she made a great second in command for buffy when she actually listened, though I think she'd be a god-awful leader. almost all of the episodes held my attention that weren't, y'know, bewitched bothered bewildered part two electric boogaloo over there. and DRUSILLAAAAAA ik she wasn't real but IDC I was fawning every time she was on screen both as the first as actually her oh I just adore her I'll never understand her and I don't even care. taking it back actually getting into the spuffy of it all for a second because oh my GOD they had an actual conversation about themselves where she neither ran away nor punched him!! and the montage of everyone screwing, only to cut to spuffy simply cuddling? to show THAT'S their intimacy? 'bout fuckin killed me it did
them kicking buffy out of her house and then literally no one saying ANYTHING about how she was RIGHT except spike ofc really bothered me. and gosh the way they just kinda... did buffy's plan anyways. a little different, but not really? still invaded the vineyard when half the reason no one was listening to her was bc they didn't wanna go back that. but that was like the biggest issue I had the entire season honestly. there was no riley to make me furious, 15 minutes of angel that I hated every second of but is so small it's whatever, and robin wood kinda annoyed me once he turned on buffy and spike there but y'know he gets less relevant so pshh. I'll admit I also got a bit peeved at myself every time I smiled at something andrew said but he grew on me wayyy quicker than I was expecting or wanting I get why he shows up in fics so often now he's entertaining to watch
anyways. I'm sure there's like a billion million things I've missed in my endeavor to simply enjoy myself while watching but as it stands? I love this season. I love it to bits and pieces and I think it was incredibly fun. y'all might just be the biggest haters in the world cause I am SO glad I decided to actually give it a go
#like sure we've had the scoobies ofc but like I was reminded of earlier seasons scoobies here. and I missed it very very much#the ONLY reason I've not mentioned anya's death in the cons part is bc I've already gotten into that in a separate post#but that was NOT OKAY. WHO DID THAT. WHO LET THAT HAPPEN TO HER. WE WON'T HAVE WORDS I WILL JUST USE MY CLAWS#I need to read s7 fics NOW I need them oh my great heavens I'm going a-hunting#I was SO. WORRIED. watching this season. cause I'd heard bad things about s6 but I'd heard even WORSE about s7#but I liked s7 so much more???#I think s6 has stronger individual episodes but as a whole I enjoyed s7 more y'know#I just had a good time the ENTIRE time which I cannot say about s6 at all#also I know like objectively s5 was WAY better than s7 but oh I just LIKED s7. plus s5 has RILEY that's automatically of the bad to me#also I think glory is the best villain this show ever had the neither the first nor misogyny guy come even close to her#but hey it wasn't as bad as adam at least imo#I absolutely loved this season but please do start a conversation with me cause I am genuinely curious why it's so disliked#I wanna know what I overlooked lol#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer
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#i am lying down just staring into space#the agonies#cmjf#codymax#love and hate and also adam cole#to love is to hate for max
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Truly, imagine if trains
(Hermitcraft recap with another jet lag reference, we win these)
#jet lag the game#ben doyle#adam chase#jltg#sam denby#hermitcraft recap#zloyxp#lyarrah#I am loving these references please keep it up#also i find it hilarious this account is half jet lag half hermitcraft at this point#you WILL watch hermitcraft and the recap
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so i’ve been. THINKING lately.
you can find many similarities in both stories but there are also huge differences…
in cain and abel’s story cain murders his younger brother because of his jealousy and because god preferred abel over him, which is obviously similar to how chuck’s pride made him envious of jimmy because he’s more likeable and made their mom laugh etcetera etcetera..but i’d say abel was a pure guy, he didn’t do anything bad, he was like. basically the purest human being at that time (well it’s not really difficult to be the best person when there’s like 4 people in the whole world and two of them literally got kicked out of heaven but anyway). and cain murdered him. which is clearly not the case with jimmy and chuck because obviously in the legal point of view chuck is a better person than jimmy …
and we’ve got esau and jacob, which is i think a really underrated story. i mean i love cain and abel but i think people often forget about those two. esau, (technically) an older brother, always gets tricked by jacob. jacob buys his birthright and steals his father’s blessing that was meant for esau. and esau rages at him because. i mean. that’s not a nice thing to do. but in the end jacob becomes one of the Main Characters in the genesis… personally i think this story is more… idk, specific? there’s just something about the younger brother constantly tricking the older to get what he wants, even though the reasons not always are completely selfish. BUT! in the end esau and jacob made peace which is (spoiler alert😨) not the case with chuck and jimmy ………..and also jacob didn’t really have a redemption arc and esau just. idk. moved on with his life. got a family and all that. so he basically became a normie. but yeah ANYWAYS!
so yeah. i’d really love to hear ur thoughts and opinions on this one because i am a little bit insane about all this stuff as you probably noticed
(also if i messed something up or if im wrong anywhere please lmk lol it’s been a while since ive read the old testament…….)
#the best thing to do at 4 am .#better call saul#jimmy mcgill#saul goodman#chuck mcgill#personally i think that. idk#cain and abel’s story is CLASSIC#everyone knows what happened to them and why it happened to them. it’s very straightforward#but honestly i think cain is too evil for chuck#i mean yeah chuck surely is fucked up but he’s not THAT bad#and i think he definitely always had some fucked up sense of love for jimmy and man they just know each other too well#while cain and abel don’t really seem to care about each other and cain is just like. yeah this guy pisses me off im going to kill him 👋bye#and esau&jacob seem to know each other reallt well and they know what they’re capable of#ALSO jacob was his moms favorite!! just like jimmy!!!!#and yeah jacob is obviously much more sly and clever than abel#but. honestly. when i think about it like this#i just. you know.#i think jimmy wouldn’t be like this fucked up if their relationship with chuck was better#i mean. i don’t THINK i KNOW#this is a fact#chuck is one of the most important figures in jimmys life#he and kim is his whole world#which is EXACTLY the thing with cain and abel. there are LITERALLY no other people in the world except for them#they are the only people that exist for each other and THEY HATE EACH OTHER#and it’s PAINFUL#(yeah im ignoring adam and eve’s existence)#while esau and jacob are like. you know. this is an important part of the plot#but no one seems to really care about it#idk how to explain there’s just so much going on there that this thing doesn’t feel that BIG and INTERESTING and IMPORTANT#man idk this is hard
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sci i have a vintage donald duck anthology <3 i appreciate that you have some odd hyperfixations bc i have a TON
🤝
we love duck
#hmm. trying to think up other obsessions i have that you guys don't know about.#douglas adams.#i've bought and read Every Single Douglas Adams book. multiple times.#i think i've read the entire hitchhikers guide to the galaxy trilogy of 5 like. 7 times.#that's not including the times i've listened to the audiobook.#um. uuum.#i don't know if any of my other interests qualify.#i am. pretty normal about everything else.#drag queens maybe. but not. like. i don't watch any media about drag queens. i'd die before i watch rupaul (sorry)#but i like to know all the drag queens local to me and follow and support them.#also lately i've become obsessed with coatis. they have a long snoot and i think they're really neat.#i begged my mum to bring one back for me from mexico. and she brought me a stuffed toy coati. and i love him a lot.#they look so friend. i met loads of them on my last trip to mexico and i haven't stopped thinking about them since.#they're like. elongated raccoons. like if you put a raccoon in a taffy puller. i love them.
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