#also idk which of these interviews came first but i love that he speaks in such similar patterns about the same idea

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

“i believe in the idea that old bits of equipment have songs built into them already, like a ghost in the walls.”

[inawickedlittletown]

Sooo I started to read other articles. I didn't after reading the ones that came out right after the episode that justifiably got everyone upset.

This one from tv insider had Tim saying this:

Moving on to Buck and Tommy’s breakup, talk about your approach to it. Why was Tommy sure that Buck would break his heart?

Tommy’s older and Buck is very new to this, and whether Tommy was correct or not, I think what he felt like was exactly what he said: I’m not your last, I’m your first, which is a special thing to be, but as Tommy says, it doesn’t usually end up being the same thing. And I think based on what we know of Buck, he’s maybe not wrong. Buck’s a little impulsive when he’s feeling a certain kind of way. He’s like, move on in, bring your couch. So I just think because Tommy’s a little older and wiser or maybe at some level he feels like he doesn’t deserve Buck, I don’t know. But I think he accurately diagnosed Buck. Buck’s still figuring himself out, and boy, that would be quite risky to move in with that guy as much as you would love to.

That does seem to be Buck’s go-to, which isn’t the best.

Exactly.

Are we going to see Buck single for a significant period of time now? Is he trying to figure out what he wants really out of a relationship?

Yeah, I think that’s right. As Tommy said, you’re still figuring yourself out, and his options have increased by 50 percent of the population. So knowing Buck, that’s going to be choice overload. He’s got to navigate that with a little self-awareness.

--

So they definitely planned for this. That's what this reads like...they wanted to break them up so that they could send Buck through a period of exploration. Tim says everything Oliver said here in much nicer terms. His view of Buck is so...Idk, it's like he sees Buck as a kid that still doesn't know what he wants. And he decided to put that view right into Tommy's head too. It's a little jarring I guess but this show...has it ever been consistent?

What sucks is that 8x05 was written like they were doing so well. And then right off the back with 8x06 we have warning signs in the date scene with the girl that approaches Buck and how Tommy sort of shrugs off Buck checking her out. I really do wonder where hot waiter fit into this and I'm so glad we didn't see Tommy like checking hot waiter out or something. But I guess that scene was there to sow the seeds. We have Buck spiraling because of the Abby thing and we have Tommy maybe not realizing but reinforcing for himself that he's a stepping stone for Buck and being okay with it in the status quo.

The way that Tim speaks about Buck asking Tommy to move in, he makes it seem like Buck is just barreling in without thought...like if they went through with it Tommy might be proven right. But then what is the point of the scene with Josh where Buck is right on the cusp of an "I love you" just to then be like no actually Tommy knows how this ends and he can read Buck and knows they're not forever. But Tommy is not a mind reader.

Where there is hope is in that Tim doesn't outwardly say anything about Tommy being gone for good. As someone else pointed out the Lou interviews were done by buddie journalists with a bias so there is a question to how much that colored what we got and why they were so determined to close the door fully. Also...why did we get exit interviews in the first place for a character that only had three episodes...it's so odd.

The writers made a point of leaving this open. Do I think we'll get Tommy back any time soon. No. But after the doom and gloom and the time to mourn this a bit I want to be positive and there is really no knowing. Tim says he thinks Buck will be single for a while...okay fine...picture that being the rest of this season.

Buck won't just jump into another relationship...and Oliver gets his Buck slut era 2.0...what if S9 brings back Tommy? What if this is the long game...or at least the thing they can have in their back pocket if Lou is available later on to come back. But that's not something they can promise or that they can commit to and Lou isn't on contract clearly and Oliver wouldn't know if that's the plan...hell even Tim probably doesn't know if they'll do that. Or I'm giving him too much credit because as we've seen this season storylines have been rushed to close up at breakneck speeds so it would be an anomaly for him to prolong something like this.

All this to say, showing the network and Tim that bucktommy matters to a lot of people and that Tommy matters...it may just make a difference.

[acourtofthought]

My love! I have something in my mind. I like Elain as a character, I wouldn't say I love her we don't know much about her for me to say i love her.

yet a couple of things bothered me when speaking about Elain. One of them is the flower thing. I will not bring up the neglect of Feyre because that's on another point. But the fact that people say she could've planted crops and not flowers. While this is a valid point, I seem to recall the one who brought Elain the flower seeds.. was Feyre.. so if we're going to say "Elain should've planted crops" shouldn't we say Feyre should've bought her crops?

The second thing is more for the neglect to care for Feyre as the youngest, while she wasn't as cold as Nesta, and Feyre herself says so. It was always interesting to me, how when it came to Elain the IC would say things like "Elain is different" Rhys himself said this. What is so different about Elain's situation? Is it because she chose to stay with them? is technically acting as one of the shadow twins, cleaning learning, and caring? which may be a way to make amends and this is why is different.

IDK what do you think about this, my love

I've missed your asks!!! I agree with your first point. Feyre bought Elain the seeds so if planting vegetables was such an obvious thing to do than why did Feyre buy Elain flower seeds? Yes, she knew Elain loved flowers however she had no issues asking for help in other ways (asking Nesta to chop wood for example). So why not say, "I'm going to buy you vegetables too, could you try to grow them?" I do think Sarah also addressed this entire thing later in ACOTAR, when the sisters are in their new estate and Elain says she'd like to plant a vegetable garden by the greenhouse if she could learn enough about it over the next few months. For whatever reasons, it doesn't seem like it was feasible for Elain to grow a garden in their cottage. To your second point, I think what Rhys is saying boils down to what Sarah has been telling us about Elain all along (in the books and in interviews). Rhys is Illyrian and knows he will do whatever is necessary to protect his people. Feyre, as his mate (and now with Illyrian anatomy) will do whatever is necessary to protect their people. The IC will do whatever is necesary to protect the people. It doesn't matter if they need to lie, steal or murder, they will become monsters to do what needs done. Rhys tells Feyre that Elain is Elain and Nesta is Illyrian at heart. To me that means that Nesta is exactly like the rest of the IC, he senses in her the ability to do whatever needs done to protect those she loves and it bothers him that she didn't follow through with that in the human lands. In contrast Elain is not written as morally gray (not like the others). She is not willing to do whatever needs to be done at any cost, it seems her character has limits. She's not revenge seeking, cruelty bothers her, etc. That's not to say Elain isn't just as strong but her strength lies elsewhere, in her kindness and generosity, her willingness to apologize for her mistakes, her ability to see everyone's POV (not just this person or that person because of her relation to them), offer forgiveness, to openly express her affections (something Sarah even mentioned in interviews, where Nesta and even Feyre found it difficult to be as open / as soft in their love as Elain). The NC is a land of lethal beauty, they will play the role of Dark Lords and Death personified when they need to. Nesta fits in to all of that. Elain does not. She refused the leathers, returned TT without looking back, was quick to deflect what she did to the King in the war, seemed shocked by Nesta's brutality with the King. I think Rhys knows that Elain is not Illyrian at heart, she is not the NC at heart and that's why he would not have expected her to do whatever needed to be done while in the human lands. I think he sees that her nature was more nurturer than survivor / warrior. Is that fair? Maybe not? But at the same time, is it fair to expect all people to behave in exactly the same way? I always think back on the Hunger Games. When Katniss left, she didn't insist Prim head out into the woods to begin hunting in her stead. Instead, she focused on what Prim's strengths were, to use her goat to bring in cash flow and asked Gail to continue hunting for her family. Prim also became a doctor / healer like her mother and I rarely see anyone give backlash regarding her character. I don't think I've ever seen anyone hold it against Prim that she did not become a hunter / warrior type the way they hold it against Elain for not hunting. If Elain were not in the house I imagine it would have felt like a Civil War in that place, what with Nesta, Feyre and their father. But Elain managed to maintain a decent relationship with all three and I think the role of peace maker is often overlooked but something that is at the core of Elain's strength and why I think she'd make an amazing High Lady someday.

[silverflqmes]

໒⦂ 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐂𝐒.

notes. reposted from wp!

genre. fluff + crack

ft. tooru oikawa, ryuunosuke tanaka, osamu miya, yu nishinoya, hajime iwaizumi

female implied reader but no specified pronouns were used so could be gn too

➫    𝓞𝗜𝗞𝗔𝗪𝗔   𝓣𝗢𝗢𝗥𝗨   ୨୧   ˎˊ˗

⌗ ok the idea of kids for oikawa is just >>

⌗ LOVES YOU SM && IS THE SWEETEST TO YOUR KID && SO UNDERSTANDING LIKE PLEASEEEE HXJDKDKD

⌗ your kid likes him more because he shares his milkbread with them && spoils them completely with gifts🧍‍♀️

⌗ "y/n-channn it's not my fault they like me more than their own mother😝"

⌗ loves you equally as much as your child && would do anything to keep you both happy; if he finds the father eeeek sorry for that unfortunate soul who bouta receive the wrath of oikawa LMAOOOO

⌗ you asked oikawa to watch your kid for the day while you went for a job interview && he ended up showing them the entire star wars franchise🧍‍♀️ when you came home they were all like "hello there"

⌗ also annoys you 24/7 abt having more kids cuz he wants yours to have a buddy😭 but also cuz he-

⌗ "y/n-chan pLEASE WE JUST NEED FIVE MORE FOR A TEAM🥺"

⌗ "I SAID NO >:("

➫    𝓣𝗔𝗡𝗔𝗞𝗔   𝓡𝗬𝗨𝗨𝗡𝗢𝗦𝗨𝗞𝗘   ୨୧   ˎˊ˗

⌗  at first- you didn't tell ryu about your kid cuz you were afraid he wouldn't wanna see you anymore, but ofc he found out-

⌗ he wasn't mad or anything, he was just awestruck && uH- tearing up a bit cuz your baby is just so cute🙈

⌗ "can i hold them🥺"

⌗ dhdjksk he's so gentle with you && your kid, always making sure to treat you both so sweetly with extra love && care ❤️

⌗ tanaka can't cook unfortunately- but he makes up for it by playing all the time with your kid && taking them out to the park && stuff, yk?

⌗ definitely picnics together awww

⌗ talks about his volleyball adventures with you guys && how they took down a bunch of "shitty boys"

⌗ you yelled at him for that one when your kid started saying "shwitty boys" LMAOOO

⌗ y'all would totally be a badass family ngl, i can see y'all walkin into the mall w shades n sum kinna dorky matching shirts w the baby in the stroller, shades on n a bottle in one hand LMAOAOAO

➫    𝓜𝗜𝗬𝗔   𝓞𝗦𝗔𝗠𝗨   ୨୧   ˎˊ˗

⌗ ngl 'samu was awkward at first with the idea of kids, so warming up took a bit eeek

⌗ but once he did- my gosh was he so sexy to watch; like girl watching him put the baby to sleep with a story made your heart soar && the way he speaks so softly >>>>

⌗ HE COOKS, LOTSA ONIGIRI

⌗ not that you mind, but damn he makes loads of diff kinds of dishes that are sooo immaculate

⌗  'tsumu comes over every now && then to visit && he's all like 🥺🥺

⌗ "OH! y/n-chan, seems like they like me more than 'samu HAHHAHAHAHA"

⌗ you just laugh at their back to back banters about who was better && the baby just giggles, clapping their hands together which just makes the boys melt ahhh

⌗ "stupid 'tsumu.. y/n, yer seriously not going for that piss head, right?" idk i feel like he'd ask at you at some point if he's feeling a little down

⌗ "why would i when his brother is all i need && what our sweet little one needs as well?" eeek he felt so touched xhsjskks he could almost cry but he didn't ofc👨‍🦽

➫    𝓝𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗢𝗬𝗔   𝓨𝗨   ୨୧   ˎˊ˗

⌗ CHAOS.

⌗ okay when nishinoya saw that you had a kid he was like a kid on christmas day; he was so damn excited he nearly tore down the entire house LMAOOO

⌗ ngl he gives your kid more attention than you sometimes🧍‍♀️there's either two reactions you can have here: either you're giggling at how adorable that is or you're jealous asl LMAOOOO

⌗ good luck in the bedroom later noya🤠

⌗ ANYWAY- although he's always playing with your kid, he always offers for you to join && together you all play cute little games or with toys, depending on their preference && stuff like that yk

⌗ cannot cook && do not allow this man ANYWHERE near the kitchen OR your baby- cuz girl one day you left nishinoya w your kid while you shopped for groceries && you came home to an italian dinner gone wrong😐😐

⌗ "y/n-cHaN pLEaSe- WE WERE JUST MAKING YOU A LOVELY DINNER DON'T TAKE THE POPSICLES AWAAAAYY!!1!1!"

⌗ "if you didn't eat the last oreo, then i woulda been more forgiving, now hurry up so i can make something edible🙄"

⌗ that entire night both noya n your kid follow you around like lost puppies on sum 🥺🥺

➫    𝓘𝗪𝗔𝗜𝗭𝗨𝗠𝗜   𝓗𝗔𝗝𝗜𝗠𝗘   ୨୧   ˎˊ˗

⌗ NGL IWA'S THE REAL MOM HERE LMAOOO ITS YOUR KID BUT HE'S BETTER AT THE MOTHER ROLE

⌗ you had reason to believe this had to do with his previous affiliations with volleyball🚴‍♀️

⌗ always takes care of both of you, cooks, cleans && just shdjsks he literally does everything to make you feel as if you're both on cloud nine

⌗ oikawa invites himself over a lot to your house to play with the kid eeeek iwa gets annoyed sometimes, but he appreciates the company && your kid's always like "papa, isn't he from tv?? the volleyball player who kicked your team's butt!"

⌗ iwa glares at oikawa cuz he knows he prolly said sumn && oiks jus smirks before giving your kid the sweetest smile && the teary eyes LMAOOOOO

⌗ you laugh at this && just to annoy hajime you allow tooru to join you all for dinner && he goes on abt how iwa used to be as a child && teen, stuff like thatt

⌗ lowkey your boyfie gets embarrassed LMAOO YOU'D CERTAINLY GET IT TONIGHT

⌗ "haj but his stories about you both were so cuteee, please let him come over more! he can even babysit too while you and i do something special.. y'know🥺👉👈"

⌗ "ughhh, fine. but you owe me a lot i hope you know! especially if he gets to hangout with them all day," he's very much attached to your kid && it shows dhjsksksks

notes. single mom headcanons was cool and all.. but single dad hcs sound kinda nice too🤭 maybe after exams..

↳ return to main masterlist . request rules . send an ask

[sophaeros]

love your blog, if possible could I get an Albert and Jules lore dump? I read your other post but I am hungry for more context (and sources)

omg hii glad u like it here !! 😋 umm ok i can try to do like a rough little timeline w notable moments maybe? whatever comes to mind lol

in err 1991 i believe when julian was 13 he got sent to that one swiss boarding school to curb his alcoholism (did not work clearly) and two years later when julian was 15, 13 year-old albert also arrived. julian stayed for two years and albert stayed for six months. julian had this to say about their meeting SNIFFLES. theyre never beating the soulmate allegations i fear

How did you become friends at first? Julian: Two of us arrived in a private school in Switzerland. I felt I had nothing in common with the others. They were so different from people I knew in New York, they were obsessed by clothes Haut Couture. I missed New York so much, it’s really a part of my soul. Meeting Albert was a relief. At last, someone with whom I could talk. There was immediately something, a feeling of complementarity. We talked a lot of music, of our band plans. We gave ourselves 2 years to create a band or to bury this dream. After 2 years, we gave ourselves 2 more years, (laugh).

— the strokes for les inrockuptibles, march 2002 (x)

after albert moved back to la he and julian lost touch until 1998 when albert moved to new york at 18 to go to film school and find himself or whatever. and of course they have the most red string of fate ass second meeting oh my god it makes my stomach hurt. I COULD LITERALLY SEE HIM FROM MY WINDOW. why arent they in a stupid hallmark movie romcom COME ON

“When I first came to New York,” marvels Hammond, resplendent in red and black winklepickers, “the way things happened to me, it was like there was someone… doing it. I moved into my apartment, it was directly across the street from where Julian worked. Like, what are the odds? I could literally see him from my window.”

— albert hammond jr for q magazine, april 2002 (x)

and so albert becomes the final member of the band, completing the set ❤️ (the talk, 2013)

Albert, did you have to try out to be in The Strokes? Yeah. I remember when I met everyone. I met Julian first, then Nikolai, got really drunk one night, and then I went to go try out, even though Julian told me later that in his mind I was already in the band. How come? I was an okay player, I could play chords and stuff, but I looked awesome. (Laughs) I just looked like there was only one thing I could do: be in a band.

albert and julian lived together for seven years from 1998 to 2005 when julian got married, they had two apartments together and the first one is the most well known, it's the dumbbell shaped one. idk about the layout of the second unforch

ehhh scrubbing ahead a bit. julian wasn't there for albert's intervention in 2009 because he was on his solo tour

but happily in 2013 we get albert releasing his comeback ep through julian's label cult records (and then he leaves cult records in 2015. c'est la vie.) (nme september 2013)

“I’d been talking to Julian about wanting to release something on his label since he started it,” Hammond Jr explains. “He was like, ‘Let’s put out a song’. So I went, ‘Alright, I’ll start working with Gus [Oberg] and maybe after we do a few songs there’ll be one that’s fun in there.’ I sent him the first, ‘Cooker Ship’, and he was floored. I got an email back with a million ‘yes’-es on it!”

speaking of which. i've posted this before but SIGHHHH (the talk 2013) that song is for his fucking then-gf justyna. (well, most likely. i dont think hes ever outright stated who he wrote it for but the mv is pretty domestic (for the most part......) and theres a bit where theyre kinda dancing in the living room which is one of the things albert told an interviewer he and justyna did a lot → vice june 2015 but of course i suppose you never know)

Kind of like The Strokes’ song “You Only Live Once”… Julian wrote that. I’m in the band, but I still take his lyrics like a fan would. You always relate lyrics to yourself, and I even do that with him even though he is one of my friends and we lived together when he was writing it. God knows what they were truly about. But it came full circle when he was over listening to “St. Justice” from my new solo EP. It was really cute, he was like, “Is this lyric about me?” And I was like, “…no, man.” It really wasn’t, but it was a good circle because I’ve felt that way about so many of his lyrics. When we got in the band, Julian had such a vision, he was just a strong writer, so the first three records are all his.

and then there's. whatever the fuck is up with one way trigger. i'll make a post about that swear

ending this post here i think bc otherwise i'm never gonna post this SORRY. i'll try to think of more but the tragedy of julian/albert is that it's actually really hard to find fuel for them. unlike milex where they're apparently physically incapable of not being all over and waxing poetic about each other. but then what you Do get is kinda crazy. such is life

[bellzsad]

No wait, elaborate on the dob being problematic post please. I feel so uneducated lol 💜

okay so first of all let me preface by saying: i LOVE dylan obrien. like, you see all these interviews where he's acting like the dream romcom love interest, and his connection with his castmates, and his personality. like it think that's a quality of his that we should praise. i also want to say that i am SO scared to post this ?? toxic girl fans are scary asf. but i've been wanting to make a post like this for a while, because like, yes, he is one of my fav actors but you can't say that you love him and not acknowledge some of the questionable things that have happened. ALSO let me say; i'm not saying that he should get cancelled. i'm not saying that he should face consequences, i just want to bring light to all of this because i think it's wrong to just overlook these things and act like nothing happened ?

okay so first: the twitter post. basically what happened was that when the overturn of roe v. wade and everything was going on, dylan tweeted "fuck your bible". this upset a lot of people, rightfully so !! he said it in the context that abortion should NOT be banned, as people were using the bible as an excuse FOR it to be banned. i respect that, HOWEVER - you can't just say that, i feel ? i don't know, i'm not religious so please don't take my word on this, i don't speak for the people, but just in general, like... that's someone's beliefs and religion. i think there was a better way to go about sharing his opinion. like, don't put down other people's beliefs because of your own? the message just comes across wrong and i know the intent was not malicious, but it's seriously something that makes me raise my eyebrow.

then we have rachael lange, who is dylan's current girlfriend. they started dating early 2023, i believe. for some background info, i guess, she's a model based in nyc.

so this is the main point of this post, because this is what honestly makes me the most upset, i guess ? so when people found out that they were together, obviously as people do, they did some digging. TURNS OUT rachael had some twitter posts, actually not some, but MANY racist tweets from her past. she said the n word, she joked about having pictures of children on her phone or smth (also hate tweets calling taylor swift a whore, which i'll get to later !!) - idk, you can look it up, i'm not going to get into the specifics on here. point is that it was terrible. she was at least 15 at the time here. the tweets span from like 2013 to 2015, but the taylor ones were in 2017. which like… you know not to say those things when you’re 15 ?? not to mention when you’re 16 and 17 and 18 or whatever. so age is NOT an excuse here.

HERE'S MY TAKE: and before you guys go "omg, bel, are you excusing racism? are you saying it's okay?" i am NOT saying that. do not put words in my mouth! whenever i look at controversies and things, i try to look at it from all angles. i try to understand every side. i try to step in everyone's shoes. so here's my thing:

dylan probably didn't know about the tweets before getting with rachael. do i think that after the tweets came out something should've happened? yes. however, if you spend time falling in love with someone, just to find out that they did something in their past - it's hard to just stop your feelings like that, understandably. i'm sure rachael now is, hopefully, not like that. i hope she's better. also, if you always focus on the past, you can't move on, so i can understand why dylan is still together with her, BUT:

he didn't even acknowledge the tweets? he's always been very open about his opinions and beliefs, and how people shouldn't be treated like that and yada yada so it's a bit hypocritical of him to just... not say anything. not address it. and CONTINUE to date her. the image he puts out is so positive, yet this is making it pretty negative, so...?

but anyway, we can't do anything about it. i just think that the whole situation is problematic asf, like yeah it's not dylan's fault for his girlfriend being an ass in the past, but this with everything else just feels a bit weird ngl.

OKAY i'm moving on now, the rachael thing is just sm, if you want me to elaborate please lmk because yeah

so the last thing is a SOMEWHAT a rumor. i want to make that clear. it's a rumor, HOWEVER there's a lot stacked up against it, so make of that what you will.

taylor swift hired dylan obrien to star in the all too well film alongside sadie sink a few years back. that was fine, dylan and taylor were then connected and that became a fun friendship that people were fans of! they were clearly on good terms. THEN he starts dating rachael, and it's like... what? because this man has not been to a single eras tour concert. but whatever, right? it is what it is.

but there's also gracie abrams, who is basically like taylor's little sister now. they have a song together, which is rumored to be about dylan obrien, because dylan and gracie were spotted together (prior to rachael and dylan becoming a thing) once. ONCE. dylan has been spotted with a bunch of girls before, such as sabrina carpenter, chloe grace moretz, etc., which obv sparked dating rumors but like whatever ?? however this just gets complicated because gracie is related to taylor, and if gracie's new song "cool" is about dylan (rumored), then things are a bit messy.

AGAIN, just a rumor. so this honestly to me isn't that problematic, but something definitely happened between taylor and dylan (most likely rachael + her tweets) to split them up, so it's not THAT innocent. but at the end of the day i don't really care about this taylor gracie stuff compared to the other two because it's a rumor and honestly just seems like a relationship that didn't work out. still worth mentioning tho.

THAT'S IT holy shit so scared to post this. again if u want me to elaborate LMK because i swear i'm not an asshole! i am just trying to view things from all angles and all perspectives and want to give ppl the benefit of the doubt (unfortunately i always see the good in people)

[ashtray-girl]

Sorry if i'm bothering you but i really wanted to rant abt Johnny and Moz and hear some of your thoughts about these two certain topics that i can't get out of my head:  

I find it incredibly weird that Johnny and Morrissey (as far as we know) never became friends again or never tried to reconcile their relationship after the breakup - like how do you go from being best friends and hanging out with each other 24/7 to "We haven’t known each other for 35 years - which is many lifetimes ago." as Morrissey said on that letter. The strangest part to me is that, since the break up and to this day both Johnny and Moz never hesitate to mention again and again how much their relationship meant to them in the band and how much they loved each other during that period of their lives - i mean the way they describe each other and the words that they use come straight up from a romance novel. Also the fact that Morrissey continued to write songs abt how much Johnny meant to him and like Johnny getting that swallow tattoo on his neck and other weird stuff like why care to mention each other so much and make everything so dramatic when you - as you claim - haven't known each other for a lifetime? And idk on a personal level if it would be me in their situation i would at some point try to fix whatever we had if we obv meant that much to each other after all these years.

In all honestly when i read abt Marrissey Johnny sometimes just comes off as someone who suffered (and maybe still does) from internalised homophobia, when you read the way Moz talks abt him in his lyrics it definitely gives off that vibe "Though she needs you More than she loves you " , "Love is natural and real But not for such as you and I" or "I am born to hang but not to have kids and to never be wed - no, to someone whom I don't even love" and that interview when Moz said that "That perhaps Johnny Marr was in fact madly in love with me, but didn't feel he could act on that - or that he didn't have the courage to ever take it any further?'" And i don't want to seem like i'm trying to bash Angie or anything but i find they way the got married pretty weird and almost rushed in way like would they even get married if Joe Moss hadn't insisted that they do? Even Andy thought it was weird "They got married in some evangelical church. It was pretty bizarre. There were only about 10 of us there, including the crew. The ceremony only lasted about 15 minutes. I was a witness. Afterwards they hired a function room in the hotel and we had champagne and a buffet. It was a nice day, but it was just weird. It didn't seem real. You know what it's like in America - everything's plastic and phoney. It just didn't seem like a proper wedding. No relatives were there."

Anyway sorry for the long rant!! I just wanted to say that i absolutely love your Marrissey ramblings, Have a nice day :)

Hi anon! don't worry you're not bothering me at all, i'm always down to talk abt marrissey haha i'll just have to reply w/2 separate parts bc there's so much i want to say lmao 1. i've been chatting to @loathsome-tonight abt this (comparing notes, so to speak) and both of us agree that the "no-contact" situation after The Smiths' breakup is essentially bullshit, and for quite a few reasons: - first of all, there's proof they were exchanging notes around the time Morrissey was recording Viva Hate - when Johnny Rogan first published his book Morrissey and Marr: The Severed Alliance Morrissey predictably wanted no part in it, and Johnny only got involved bc he felt pressured by the author getting a bit too close to his friends and family. however, once the book came out Johnny apparently felt compelled to call Morrissey and reassure him abt the extent and the reasons of his involvement - when Morrissey released The Last of the Famous International Playboys, Johnny apparently sent him a note to congratulate him on its success - if you've read Morrissey's Autobio, you'll know he sent Johnny a letter in 1992, to which Johnny replied telling him he was sorry for everything that happened and taking "full responsibility". they then met each other and went for a drive on the moors - after that meeting, their relationship seemed to improve. in a 1993 interview for Select, Johnny said: "the relationship between me and Morrissey is the best in the group, of the four of us. i still see him now. i called him last night. last time i saw him was a couple of days before he went to do his recent album. we let a bored media get the better of us, but there's always been a certain telepathy between us even when we didn't see each other. we played a game with the press and they played with us, but it's not true life. no, we're friends." - then, the trial happened. and that's when things went south again between them. being interviewed with Bernard Sumner for The Face in july 1996, and being asked if he and Morrissey were still friends, Johnny said: "not... (pregnant pause) not particularly... [...] if i'm too glib then people think i'm being disrespectful and if i'm too serious they think there's a reconciliation on the cards. i just don't have any feelings about it." except a month earlier, once again being interviewed with Bernard Sumner (for the NME this time) he was playing quite a different tune. asked if he was still in contact with Morrissey, he said: "occasionally. last time we met it was a really nice experience. it was really good to see him, especially since a... a feud that didn't really exist had become public property. and because of the relationship we had it was time to resolve it in private and do something ourselves because it was really quite a serious situation. i was tired of being involved in other people's games and i wanted to do something for us. [...] i know it's interesting for other people, but it's kinda private. i certainly don't wish him - or anyone i've worked with - ill. life's too short." whatever happened between them at that time, it seems like 1996 was quite a turbulent year for their relationship... - years after (seemingly) going their separate ways, in 2008, they met once again. this time in person, in a pub in Manchester. apparently they even talked abt a potential Smiths' reunion, but Johnny already had other engagements with The Cribs, so nothing was done abt it - in recent years, Johnny also mentioned exchanging emails with Morrissey so even tho i highly doubt they're still in contact now, there was definitely a time when they were on speaking terms, even after The Smiths broke up. however, it seems like their relationship was quite volatile and hot and cold, with them being fine one moment and being snarky the next. personally, i've found it surprising how none of the biographers/journos that wrote abt them directly challenged them on this, bc ultimately it's very easily disprovable.

[1lostone]

Author interview

@myulalie tagged me and I’m pretty excited to do this.

1. How many works do you have on ao3:

219 I think a good bit of those are probably podfic, but I’m not mad about it. 

2. What's my total ao3 wc:

2,277,720. This is due to my need to write ridiculous wordmonsters.  

3. What are my top 5 fics by kudos:

Some of these are pretty old. Maybe I’m past my prime. :D 

Hey There Little Red (Teen Wolf)

Love The One You’re With (Star Trek AOS)

Nowhere Man (Teen Wolf) 

Five Times Stiles Needed A Crash Course On Wolfy Behavior And The One Time He Figured Shit Out. (Teen Wolf)

What The Moon Showed Me (Teen Wolf)

4. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes, always!  But sometimes it takes me awhile to remember. I tend to save them up and do a whole group at once. 

5. What fic has the angstiest ending?

Um. I’m not sure. Probably Little Lion Man- but it’s more ambiguous than angsty.  Still, my friend said she wanted to slap the green off Spock's cheeks, so ...

6. What fic has the happiest ending?

Weirdly, I think it’s It ain't easy to get to heaven (When you're goin' down) - the one I wrote about Aaron and Jesus from TWD.  I made them work for their happy ending. 

7. Do you write crossovers?

Sure. I write just about anything. 

8. Have you received hate on ao3?

Of course. Who hasn’t. 

9. Do you write smut?

Yep.

10. Have you had a fic get stolen?

YES AND I HATE IT A LOT.

11. Have you had a fic get translated?

Yes! 

12. Have you co-written a fic?

Sort of. The intentions were good and we decided it was best if we just stick to our own lanes :D 

13. What's your fav ship?

Lord.  I dip between ships like crazy. I don’t know if I have a favorite per se. 

14. What's a WIP you want to finish but never will?

SPICE. (I WILL FINISH I WILL!) 

15. What are my writing strengths?

Honestly, I’ve been so burnt out on writing lately I don’t know. I think I can tell a good story, and I’m good at resolving angst.  I think that's why I'm clinging to podficcing- I can still be a part of fandom, but idk. I need my writing mojo back.

16. What are my writing weaknesses?

It can take me 809012 words to describe a sneeze. I can also take myself too seriously. 

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages on ao3?

I have done it, but only with much help and handholding from people who actually speak that language. My 10 years of French 30 years ago would only annoy a native speaker. 

18. What's the first fandom you wrote for?

X-Files and CSI. I can’t remember which was first, it was a whole hot minute ago. 

19. What fandom/ship have you not written but want to?

UM. There are so many.  I’ve been in the Good Omens fandom since the book came out IN THE NINETIES but have never been brave enough to write anything. Maybe I can this year. . . 

20. What's your fav fic you've written?

Hmm.  It’s hard to pick one. Probably a tossup between Weep, Little Lionman, and in the bed where you lie. 

I’m always hesitant to tag people, but if any mutuals do this, tag me so I know you took it on! 

[sockgate]

i made an observation when i saw the documentary. i wanna know your opinions over it as well. so basically dont get me wrong i really loved all the parts which had louis and his current band, i think all of them are hilarious and definitely respect and enjoy louis' company a lot and i also think that louis admires them a lot and is close with them. now saying this i also think that all the footage which were used regarding 1d was deliberately dull??? like for example at the beginning when they're showing the bts content from 1d era, i know that moment was describing louis' feelings regarding the band disbanding right but regardless of that dont you think a deliberate decision was taken to include 1d scenes where they just dont look like they are close or like yk amicable......and then after that both the scenes with niall and liam it was majorly kinda awkward and short lived and not as exciting you would think it would be and its interesting knowing that liam and louis were hanging out in the hotel room and the camera person only came when louis was leaving liam's room...it definitely could be that all the 1d boys, like louis, have been on camera 24/7 so their purpose of hanging out surely wouldnt include a camera.....but regardless dont you think the way 1d scenes were kinda presented in the doc was really dull and almost included no chemistry amongst the boys...like i feel like they could have used better videos. cause the way louis talked about 1d in the whole doc was very uplifting and different from whatever scenes that were used. now idk if it was cal's intention cause i read your post about cal aurand yesterday or it was charlie's intention, tbh i am sort of questioning charlie's motivation a little bit ngl...with how he brought up the kid and all that. or it was louis' choice personally....or maybe im thinking too much out of nothing that could also be a possibility. regardless what do you think about this?

hey anon, thanks for asking for my input!

regardless of what was filmed and what 1d footage was available, it does seem deliberate the way in which the footage was included. maybe that's just how the boys were backstage for that final show (very mellow, not speaking to each other much due to what was about to happen). and imo facing simon in that moment (which... why was he featured so much in the first place) couldn't have made them feel any better. the way that the voice over and interviews overtop of the footage did compliment that "they're beginning to drift apart" concept as well. it is very interesting to contrast the 1d scenes to lt band, they are portrayed very differently!

going back to cal, it's clear he had involvement with this to the point where the footage was provided without much pushback? since when was sony ever okay with louis speaking out after his time in 1d? i find it interesting about this is i'm surprised he was allowed to release the footage (since it contains their likeness while as a unit of 1d). if you consider the input cal had early on with the boys stunting and being photographed like zoo animals, i'd say him being at the la n1 show made perfect sense. he literally choreographed and participated in the stunt being carried out just like he was doing in the 1d days ten years back. bc what else is bg if not a sony stunt that has backfired in every respect from the start.

i know not everyone agrees and that's fine, but it seems to me that charlie knew exactly what he was getting into when he was brought on for the project (mid 2019, possibly earlier). i think the intent behind this is to solidify the underdog and misunderstood member of 1d and dad image. ultimately what came of that was this documentary. i think of it like this: charlie is an employee of louis. louis meets this director and has this overarching thing he needs to get rid of. he also has a tour coming up and has a team who'd rather sit on their ass than promote him properly (i don't think they're unable to do much with his circumstance, but i think sjpr and seven are to blame in some respects). and so charlie agrees to the terms. he comes with louis to events and promo and starts to record and bg begins unravelling the way it does (hello b setting herself on fire, hello boobgate). so louis makes the decision to have this be apart of his next move. and somewhere in there sony/simco and whoever the fuck else said, yes. take our footage and our content and do your thing. but do it our way. (i.e. simon and xf being huge parts of the start of the film and NEVER portrayed negatively). obviously, charlie deciding to participate in this to this extent is something that he agreed to. i don't necessarily agree with that choice, it seems like louis confides in him and trusts him to do this for louis and his career.

[sunburnacoustic]

I’m curious what “whole thing about Matt’s past/compliance/ghosts” you’re referring to?

@pure-hearts-stumble his past - all the conspiracy theorist stuff he used to talk about back during the BHAR and Resistance days. There used to be room for nuance and Matt liked to walk the line, he said it was half a character act since BHAR was so much about revolutionary ideas, but wouldn’t be straight when asked if he was serious. 

Soon after, conspiracy theories especially in the US, started to show an uglier face and just ended up becoming outlets for racists to be racist, and that’s where Matt began stepping away from them. He now says that while he once used to believe that conspiracy theorists were in some way bringing out truths that were getting buried in the regular news cycles, and that they were some sort of resistance, holding power accountable, speaking truth to power; he says it quickly became clear that they were just people spreading unchecked misinformation. And like, that’s not to say that we’re always presented with 100% truth and nothing is ever hidden, but rather that conspiracy theorists aren’t like. Investigative journalists.

Still, there are smartass music reviewers that like to bring up Matt’s past as a conspiracy theorist in the 00s as an aha-gotcha moment to discredit Muse as musicians. Which doesn’t even make sense.

Matt’s brought those themes back on Will Of The People, he says his past experience of being around those spaces means he can see what draws people to conspiracy theories. That’s sort of what Compliance is about. It’s not like, in support of overthrowing a government lmao. But it is written from the point of someone influential who is exploiting people’s fears to convince them to, idk, join a cult, hand over power, stop thinking critically for themselves etc.

“You’re running scared, you’ll run into our arms/Come join our clique, we’ll keep you safe from harm/Out toy soldier, you’ll do the dirty work/Stay loyal to us, we’ll take away the hurt/We have what you need, just reach out and touch/We can save you!/We just need your compliance!/You will feel no pain anymore//We won’t let you feel lost anymore…”

The themes are all over the song: people’s fears and emotional vulnerabilities being exploited for misguided causes. Worse causes. It’s kinda clear what Matt’s singing about, it’s written from the POV of the manipulative leader in the song. They’re the kind of themes you can imagine must be very interesting for a musician or writer to explore lyrically, and certainly were even until about 10 years ago. Those themes are very much in the Muse wheelhouse.

But the line “Fear is controlling you” has thrown a few people on the left especially. When the song came out, there were far too many people that asked if Matt was an antivaxer because of that line. Even in the NME interview he’s basically had to confirm that he in fact is fully vaccinated and is not antivax, within like the first three paragraphs of the interview. Which must be exhausting for him, given he thinks he made it quite clear what the song was referring to.

Ghosts also has one eyebrow-raising line, “lest we forget the Great Reset”, which as a term also is the name of some racist conspiracy theory about ‘whites being replaced’ or some shit. I don’t know why Matt chose to use that specific word, but again in the NME interview he states that the song was about losing loved ones during the pandemic.

But yeah, especially in a fraught time like this, Matt often gets asked to clarify his politics, and I think we sometimes take an American reading of it (and yeah, I’m saying ‘we’ because even as a non-American myself, I think sometimes we all just get used to the US perspective because we hear about it so prominently).

Just rambling here so ignore this completely…

Especially within the last few years, quite a few people have been talking about Muse not being political enough, especially given their (and Matt’s) fondness for revolution and bold themes. It’s not a new complaint, I remember an interview where the interviewer mentioned it to Matt, saying people were criticising Muse for not being political enough… this was in 2000. But it has come from everywhere, like from fans, from people in the press, from people that urm, know Matt’s past. From Justin Hawkins lmao (frontman of the Darkness, remember them? They released a proper weird album last year so they aren’t gone… anyway, that’s besides the point. He’s become a sort of music industry journalist? He’s got a YouTube channel, and he reviewed Won’t Stand Down when it came out and said something along the lines of, if Muse were specific in their political messaging, no one could touch them. It’d be so powerful they’d blow everyone else out of the water. I think, no doubt they already do… it’s something to think about, I’m neither agreeing nor disagreeing with him. He’s right that if Matt properly let loose I don’t think anyone could touch him, and we got a taste of that on We Are Fucking Fucked. An uncensored Matt would burn so bright we couldn’t look. But also, the tempered and considered broadness of their music does make Muse Muse. I won’t say). People pushed Matt in interviews on his political leanings in the 2009 days, they did it post-Brexit (someone started shit about him being a leaver for a bit and then he had to clarify that he was pro-reform, not pro-Brexit), and now with the whole thing about Matt’s past, and Compliance, and Ghosts even and everything. And his answer has always remained the same, it hasn’t changed in years.

But I wonder, is it in some ways America-centric, the way people keep needing him to clarify further when he’s said what he’s said multiple times? He often says he’s roughly ‘left-of-centre’, and it’s occurring to me that it’s possible a lot of us read that as left of the American centre. When he, as a Brit, is far more likely to have been talking about being left-leaning from the POV of… most other places in the world.

The NME interview from last June comes to mind.

“We want a new type of revolution,” Matt argues […]. “I think everyone knows we want a revolution, but we definitely don’t want a bunch of authoritarian lunatics from the right. That’s the last thing we want.

“And also we don’t want a total communist situation on the hard left either. I think what we want is something completely new. I don’t think it exists out there at the moment, but I think there’s a new type of politics that could emerge. I would call it Meta-Centrism. It’s an oscillation between liberal, libertarian values for individuals – your social life, the ability to be whatever gender you are, all that kind of stuff – but then more socialist on things like land ownership, nature and energy distribution. It’s oscillation between the two poles.”

It’s not what you’d associate with the American center, god no. But that’s closer to the centre of the political spectrum in most other places, in fact, as far as economic centricity goes, that’s pushing left.

And I mean, language can be tricky sometimes. In the very next sentence, Matt also says, “I think there’s a way of doing that but there’s no language that enables people to think that way. You’re either hard left or you’re hard right… I’m not with any of these; I feel like there’s a third way. There’s no existing side that describes what I’m looking for yet…I’m fundamentally anti-authoritarian – that’s just my nature.” I don’t think the wrong language should preclude the right intentions, and also you can see he’s talking about polarisation and the eradication of nuance (which is like, hmmm, who could it possibly benefit if people can’t meet in the middle, agree to concede even a little, or see their opposers as basically human. Who, I wonder).

It also strikes me that the ‘left’ Matt is talking about is most certainly not the American left either. It’s proper, radical anarchy. It’s a complete overhaul of democratic systems, and certainly far from even a pipe dream in mainstream American politics.

So maybe it’s just a very American reading of political beliefs of people not from America? And in the wave of everything that’s been happening, all of the rest of us have also forgotten how to read global politics. Somehow, all of us but Matt apparently. Makes me want to zoom out a bit; idk, I’ve just thought about this before and wanted to write it down somewhere. This seemed the blog to do it.

Anyway, if you haven’t, I do recommend reading that NME interview, it allows Matt to elaborate a lot more than an Instagram caption or a Twitter post would, and elaborate he did.

[finelinevogue]

Okay this is probably something so sooooo different from other requests you have got.

Can you actually imagine if you were part of 1D. Like you are the only girl there and you and Harry are secretly dating?

Can you do one where the 1D are doing a interview and the intervier is keep on asking questions that is inappropriate to YN and she does not know what to say. And Harry and the boys com to the rescue.

Or

Can you do one where their in stage singing and YN and Harry is just playing around dancing all while singing

Or

Do you remember the BRIT Awards 2014 when Harry was late because he was having a ‘wee’ can you do that but like YN and Harry were just in the bathroom having a quick s3x.

You can which ever one you want but idk where this idea poped but yeah. I like the last one you don’t have to do it tho.

ok im going to try the last one but idk whether it’ll be any good :/

Being in the most successful band in the world was a title that you couldn’t quite understand still.

3 years since being formed on the X Factor you still struggled to wake up every day and remind yourself that this was your life. ‘This’ being the lead singer in One Direction. Alongside you was the other lead, male, singer; Harry. There was Niall who played lead guitar, Louis who played the piano, Liam who played the bass guitar and Zayn who played the drums. You were all a family, well except from you and Harry - that was something different.

It hadn’t taken long for you and Harry to ask you out and originally you’d said no. You thought he would’ve given up and it was his persistence that made you fall for him. You wanted stability in a relationship and Harry proved that he could provide you that.

You loved your relationship with Harry. He was perfect, at least to you. He knew exactly the ins and outs of you. He was able to detect when you were sad and would flourish you with chocolates and flowers to grow a smile back on your face. He knew all your favourite movie quotes and your favourite book characters. He wrote every song about you. You, about him. He made you laugh until your belly hurt and he made you experience unexplainable feelings.

He was a temple of love and it was all for you.

Just like now, as he thrusted into you from behind. He had you bent over the bathroom sink, making you watch him claim you his. His movements were primal and he wasn’t stopping for anyone or anything.

“Fuck you feel so good Y/N.” He grasped your hair and pulled your head back, groaning when he saw your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes were shut tight and mouth hung open in breathlessness. “Open your eyes. Open your eyes and look at yourself.” You did as you were told, moaning at the sight.

He had your dress hitched up around your waist and panties pulled to the side. You were lucky your hair had been done down so that it wouldn’t be obvious what you were doing. Harry was in a gorgeous black suit with a heart printed shirt. You’d picked out his shirt because it matched your dress. It was your first appearance out as an official couple and you wanted to make a statement. The Brits was a good place to make that statement.

“Fuck H, you feel so good.”

“Yeah? Love you so much baby. You’re so beautiful.” Your phone started ringing on the side of the counter. “Ignore it, fuck. I’m nearly there. Y’gonna come for me? Yeah?”

All you could focus in was the way Harry struck into you. He was hard and fast, gripping your hips to help force you back and push him forwards. The sounds were sinful and the pleasure was pure. Nothing would ever feel as good as this. He was pounding you so raw and you knew that you’d have a mass of bruises tomorrow from his grip.

“Wanna come so badly, mhm.”

“Come for me then, baby. Come and then i’ll fill you up so good.” He whispered into your ear, the sounds of your phone still ringing long forgotten. You were both on a cloud so high that nothing else seemed important anymore.

You did as Harry told you, your whole body shaking. Harry had to grip your waist tighter, as your legs were failing to work for themselves and hold you up. As you came, he coated your walls white. Feeling so full had never felt so good. You were so fucked for him, literally.

“Keep all of me in there and i’ll lick it out of you tonight.” He demanded as he pulled out of you, now feeling empty.

He helped you stand up properly and fixed your hair and makeup with you. “So pretty.” He told you, kissing you on the lips once, twice, three times.

“As are you.”

You both walked out of the locked toilets and down the corridors of the O2 arena, where the Brits were being helped. Harry was laughing at something you said when a lady rushed up to you both.

“Where’ve you two been? You’ve won a bloomin’ award and the rest of your band are on stage now!” She seemed cross, but also mixed with a little bit of star struck nerves. You and Harry didn’t miss what she’d said though and took each others hands whilst running off down the corridor.

Harry was in front of you, you not being able to run as fast with your heels on. As you entered the main arena you heard Liam speak.

“I don’t know where you are Harry and Y/N..” Before he spotted you both running down the centre aisle. Harry ran off a bit, leaving you run on your own.

You were scared of breaking your ankle, however, so stopped to try and take them off. You forgot they were buckled though which made the process harder. Before you got the chance to properly undo them, you felt someones, Harry’s, arms tuck underneath your legs and around your back and hoisting you up to carry you bridal style the rest of the way.

“You and your bloody heels.” He rolled his eyes and you kissed his cheek confidently.

As you got to the stage, Harry put you down and took the microphone off of Liam. “Really sorry! We were having a wee.”

Although everyone knew otherwise.

[dontworrysunflower]

You Make It Better | h.s.

warnings: DEPRESSION, i apologize if i do not portray it correctly, i wrote what i could figure out from the internet. if this triggers you PLEASE DO NOT READ OR READ WITH CAUTION, nudity (? idk they shower together), very cheesy sorry

a/n: this is something i wish i had rn because even thought i’m not diagnosed and definitely think am depressed so ig that is where this came from. please, if you ever need someone to talk to, my messages are always open and i have no life so i’ll answer as soon as i can, asks (anonymous too) are always open. also i’m bad at endings so excuse that. (and writing his accent but we’ll ignore that)

word count: 2.9k

feedbacks/reblogs appreciated

masterlist

It was a late Saturday morning when you realized it was going to be a really hard day with your depression. You had woken up earlier than Harry, which was very rare. His arm was tucked between your neck and the pillow, hand laying softly on your arm, your head just below the right swallow tattoo on his chest, the inked butterfly on his stomach stretching with every even breath he took in his sleep.

It wasn’t much longer until he eventually woke up, his fingers suddenly grazing your arm as he fully opened his eyes to look at you. He lets out a guttural groan, stretching his legs under the blanket.

“G’mornin’ lovie,” he said groggily, voice rough as he bends down to press a light kiss to your hair. You don’t move, only your nail lightly scratching his side. His face scrunches up in confusion, and you knew if you were to look up at him you would burst out in tears just from how cute he is. “(y/n)?” He asked, moving down on the bed to be face to face with you. “You okay, baby?” His nose nudged yours, but again, you don’t react. You don’t even look him in the eyes.

All you do is shrug to his question, a little hum falling past your lips.

Then it struck him, and you see the exact moment when it does. But his face doesn’t change to a sympathetic look, he doesn’t frown at you with a sorry look.

Instead, he gives you a small and sleepy smile and pushes a strand of your hair away from your face. He scoots closer to you, moving you to sit on his lap, his boxers laying low on his hips, his inked fern leaves peeking through.

“Another one of those days?” He asked quietly as he moved to put his head right next to yours, his eyes looking up at you.

“Yeah.” You mumble, reaching over to grab the pendant of his necklace, rubbing the green cross with your soft finger.

“How bad?”

You continue to drag your finger over his cross pendant, eyes fixated his chest hairs. You sigh heavily before parting to answer. “Nine.”

“Hmm.” He kissed your forehead. “What made it a little betta’?”

You finally looked up at him, his emerald eyes still had a glassy look, still not fully awake. You’re hesitate to speak, your mouth opening and closing, thinking whether or not you should say what’s on your mind.

Very early in your relationship, you told Harry that it was hard for you to open up to people. You told him your illness made you feel like a burden towards everyone you know, you told him that there may be days where you wouldn’t want to see him because you’d feel like you're getting in the way.

But unlike the other people you’ve been with, he understood and was patient with you. And even though there were days that got really bad, he stayed by your side.

“You can talk to me, baby.” Harry took your hand that was holding his pendant, his finger grazing the skin of your thumb.

Your lips slightly quirk up, but not enough to really show that you were happy. But he could see it.

“You make it better.” You maneuver your hand that was in his to now hold his hand, bringing it closer to your chest and play with his ringless fingers.

When he doesn’t say anything, you look up at him worriedly, scared you’ve said the wrong thing.

But when you do, his face was the definition of happy. He was smiling so wide, his dimples were showing. There was a light hue on his cheeks, bringing his face to life.

You wish you could be that happy right now.

He brought you closer to his chest and pressed his lips to your matted hair. “Wanna just stay in bed all day?” You nod against his chest. “Whatever you want, love.” His arms tightened around you, bringing you impossibly closer, giving you a silent message of I’m here for you.

“Do you want something to eat? Some tea, maybe?” He asked sweetly as he started to pull away, his feet hitting the wooden flooring on your shared bedroom.

You looked up at him, hesitating to answer, but his fingers scratch your scalp in encouragement, his green eyes looking down at you sweetly. “Could-” you hesitate. “Could I just have some tea, please? Peppermint, if we have any.”

He nodded, bending down to press to place a kiss to your nose. “Anything to eat?”

You shake your head and bring the duvet to your face.

Before he can get too far, you grab his hand, getting his attention as he starts to walk away. “What’s up, baby?”

“Can I have a kiss?” you asked shyly, afraid he’ll reject you.

Instead of answering, he just leans down to peck your lips, but you hold his jaw and keep his close.

You give him one last peck before you pull away slightly, lips bruised to a pink color, faces still close.

You peck him one last time then back away, bringing the duvet to your chin.

“Don’t be too long.” You mumble.

He chuckled and kissed your head before walking out of the room.

•••

He comes back a couple minutes later, two mugs in his hands, a banana in between his lips.

You sit up against the headboard, the duvet just under your stomach that’s covered in one of Harry's old striped shirts.

“Thank you.” You mumble as you take the pastel orange mug from Harry’s hand.

You both sit quiet as you sip at your hot beverage, Harry offering you a bite of his banana after a while, but you decline.

Harry takes your empty cup and leaves it on his side table, the banana peel hanging from the rim of his mug.

“Do you wanna do anything?” He asked beside you, taking your hand in his.

“Ca-” You hesitate, scared he’ll say no or you feel like you're being selfish for what you're about to ask. “Can we just cuddle?” You asked with a pout, looking down at your lap.

He lets out a little giggle, getting under the white duvet. “I’d never say no to your cuddles.”

He pulls you close to his chest, the hair on his legs tickling your silky ones. His tattooed arm comes to lay over your stomach.

After a while, your eyes begin to sting, your sight becoming blurry, tears falling down your cheeks.

Harry seems to feel your salty tears fall on his chest. He plays with the ends of your hair and then rubs your arm. “Let it out, baby.”

Your shoulders shake as you sob, uncontrollable tears falling down your cheeks.

Harry held you tighter as you hiccuped, breath evening, eyes shutting as you fall asleep.

•••

When you woke up, the room was drastically darker. Harry’s side lamp was the only source of light.

Harry’s torso was against the headboard, one hand tangled in your hair, the other holding up a book as his eyes scan every word on the page.

When you shuffle under his touch, he closes his book and lays it by his side. “Hi.” He leans down to kiss your head, his hand now by your waist, playing with the hem of your (his) shirt you’re wearing that has risen up.

“What were you reading?” you asked meekly after you yawn, moving your arm across his fern tattoos.

“Love is a mixtape.”

“You love that book.” Your head moves up and down with his chest as he laughs. “Can you read some to me?”

“Sure, baby.”

•••

He had read a chapter or two when you realized, a small gasp leaving your lips. “Weren’t you supposed to go to the studio today?” You held up your weight against your arm, your hand digging into the mattress under you.

Your face scrunched up in guilt, your mind racing with the thought of getting in the way of Harry’s music, never wanting to be the reason he stopped working.

He just hums and and folders the corner of the page he was on before closing the book and leaving it on his side table. “I called Jeff when I was making the tea that I wasn’t going to make it today.”

“But why? You were excited to-”

“No one that matters, baby. There was no way I would’ve left you here by yourself.”

“I would’ve been fi-”

“No, you wouldn’t have and you know it.” His voice changed completely, more firm and stern than how he was talking earlier today. “Baby,” he started, he shifted in his spot on the mattress, turning completely towards you, taking your hands in his. You’ve always loved when you held hands. Loved to feel the comparison in size from your to his and your thumb always grazed his cross tattoo. You always get butterflies when he touches you, and that hasn’t changed since the beginning of your relationship that felt like so long ago.

“It’s okay to not be okay. I know it’s a struggle and everyday I wish I could take this pain from you, but I can’t. The best I can do is be there for you and hold you. And you may feel like you don’t deserve it, but you do. You deserve happiness and more. You may feel like every little thing you do bothers me and others but you don’t. I love you with my entire being, (y/n), and I’m surprised you haven’t gotten tired of me.”

You scoff through foggy eyes, but his dimples and freckles are still prominent in your vision.

“In the rare times that we’re not together and I’m with other people, the first thing people ask me is how you’re doing. Shit, I even get asked about you in interviews and fans I meet on the street ask about you.”

You’re full on sobbing now, his pretty words too much to handle, an overwhelming feeling of love and gratitude and happiness filling your chest.

“You’re not a burden, baby.” He said softly as he pulled you into his lap, his rough fingertips sipping the salty tears from under your eyes. “Say it, please.”

You take in a shaky breath, but an even, firm breath comes out, the ache in your chest a lot lighter, less painful. You lick your chapped lips before speaking, “I’m not a burden.”

His lips press to your temple, the warm skin. You both cry, holding each other tighter than what you thought was possible. You nuzzle your face into his neck, breathing his warmth and scent.

He sighs and gingerly kisses your forehead, his finger twirling the ends of your hair.

“Wanna go take a shower?” Harry asked, your legs tangled with his under the comforter. “We can watch a movie or something after, yeah?” He pushed back the stray hairs that had fallen out of your ponytail, the tie loosening its grip on your hair as you moved around the bed throughout the day.

“Yeah.” you mumble, eyes droopy again, energy slowly fading as the sun faded from the sky.

“C’mon, baby.” He wiggles away from you, standing on the side of the bed, his hand out for you to grab.

You move the duvet off you, goosebumps forming on your exposed legs and arms because you were only wearing one of Harry’s old shirts.

He takes your hand as you scoot closer to the edge of the bed, your feet softly landing on the wooden flooring of your bedroom.

Harry raises your intertwined hands and tenderly pressed his lips to the back of your hand, his dimples smile forming when he sees a blush form on your cheeks. “C’mon, love.” He leads you towards the bathroom, quickly turning on the light.

You walk behind him as he makes his way further in, opening the glass door of the shower to turn on the water, letting it get warm before he turns around to you.

He lifts his own shirt up, exposing his tattooed chest. “You too, love.” He chuckled at you as you just stood there in front of him.

He drops his shirt before tugging at the hem of yours, his eyes looking into yours for approval. You give him a small nod before he brings it up your torso.

He helps you undress the rest of the way, which was quick because you only had your underwear left.

You stayed close as Harry quickly undressed. The butterfly on his stomach expanded as he took in a deep breath, his hand reaching towards you again to lead you to the spraying shower.

The foggy glass door springs open and Harry steps aside for you. “Ladies first.”

Harry’s hand leaves yours to lay it on your back as you step into the steaming shower.

•••

Harry just finished washing your hair, his fingers raking through your wet strands, his chin resting on top of your head. Your hands mindlessly run up and down his back, your cheek against the swallow tattoo on his chest.

His thumb rubs against the side of your face, catching your attention. You look up to his green eyes looking down at you already, his dimples lightly denting his cheeks. “You’re pretty.” He spoke softly, his eyes shifting around your face.

You sheepishly look down at his chest, lightly tracing the butterfly tattoo on his stomach.

He chuckles at your shyness and kisses your forehead. Even though you can’t see it, he looks at you like you hung the moon, he looks at you like a goddess even though you have demons on your shoulders. “Which one’s your favorite?” He whispered in your ear before pressing his lips to it.

You hummed as you leaned back, Harry’s hands on your hips still keeping you close. Your eyes scanned his body, your mind at battle.

You suddenly lift yourself up on your toes, holding on to his shoulders for leverage as you look at the tattoos that cross over, inching close to his back muscles.

“The little guitar doodle, thing.” You said before you unknowingly let out a little giggle, you finger lightly grazing the darkened skin.

“There’s that laugh.” He spoke softly, a small grin widening on his face. His emerald eyes shining in adoration. “I missed it.” His fingers curl the ends of your hair. Your hands move to his face, delicately holding his gorgeous face against yours.

“I love you. Thank you.” You said quietly, tears fogging your sight.

He shakes his head without hesitation, wet curls falling between you. “Nothing to thank me for.” He lifted his head to press a hard kiss on your nose, making a small giggle leave your lips. “There’s that beautiful sound again.” He roughly kissed under your eye, your giggles getting louder. He pecks the corner of your lips before migrating slightly to nip at your pink lips.

Your shoulders relax as you sigh into the kiss, your fingers lightly grazing the skin on Harry's shoulder, his around your waist, giving you a small squeeze.

The warm water cascades behind you, flowing through your hair and falling down to your feet.

He slowly pulls away, so slow that it seemed like he didn’t really want to pull away. Wet strands of his hair fall into his face, your fingers quickly leaving his shoulder to rake them back. “Wanna finish up and get to bed?” He asked quietly, his chipped fingernails faintly grazing the skin of your hip.

You nod, backing up as Harry moved closer to turn off the water behind you. The steamy glass door opens with a pop, Harry’s feet stepping onto the white floor mat to grab towels hanging on the wall. He quickly wraps one around his waist, droplets of water descending down his inked frame, some falling down from his hair onto his shoulder.

You slowly step out of the shower beside Harry, grabbing the towel from his hands and unfolding it to dry your hair and body before wrapping it around yourself.

“Do you want one of my shirts, love?” He asked as he walked out to the bathroom (still completely wet with a water trail behind him) to his dresser, looking through his casual wardrobe.

“If it’s okay with you.” You stayed in the bathroom, watching him move around the bedroom.

“Of course, lovie. That’s why I offered.” He comes in front of you to hand you some clothes, just a pair of his boxers and his old ‘Hot n Hard’ shirt. “Always want you in my clothes. He pecks your nose and pulls away, a small dimple piercing his cheek as he smirked. “Also like you with no clothes.”

You narrowed your eyes at him and pushed at his shoulder, shaking your head at him.

By the time you slid on the shirt he gave you, he was leaning against the doorframe, pink boxers hanging loosely under the fern tattoos. “Can I help with your skincare?” He asked shyly, his cheeks turning the same color as his boxers.

You don’t hesitate to nod, stepping farther into the bathroom to let him in.

He pats the counter, his other hand going to your back. “Sit for me, baby.”

You jumped onto the counter, silently watching him as he gathered your different products, you had too many to count (and didn’t need).

You sat quietly as you watched his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, tongue poking out of his lips. His rough fingers gingerly patting stuff on your face, laughing at your whines when he was dragging down your face instead of smoothing up. “It’ll give me wrinkles!” You groaned.

So now he’ll do the same with his skin.

What? He doesn’t want wrinkles either.

•••

yay!!!

@chillingonlife @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @letsgoparty-ah-ah-ah-yeah @tom-hollands-wife @acciosiriusblack (i know some of you probably only meant the instagram things but i hope this is okay)

(lmk if you want to be added/taken off taglist)

[matan4il]

OK I hope this makes sense because I feel like some of my thoughts have been a little crystallized and I'm hoping for your opinion since your actually queer and very insightful.

So I know some fans pine for the days of the early promotion of Buddie when Stark and Guzman did goofy things together and even attended award shows. I get it and I missed it a little too. But I always felt like when the show settled on this was a true love scenario they scaled back on it for reasons of not making it silly or meme worthy.

Then all the interviews for My Policeman came out and Dawson and Styles addressing their approach to love scenes and their friendship and how they handle it now. They speak of it rather beautifully and they want you to see it that way. But also address their roles as actors friends, the promise to always smile and hug forever.

And that brought me back to Brokeback Mountain and Jake and Heath were protective of their roles. Even Jake later coming out and saying that Heath refused to be and Oscar skit because he didn't want it to be a "gay joke". He just wanted people to see the love.

So again it brought back to why in my head the change in the promotion changed and this really was what I was thinking. If they make Buddie Canon I don't think they ever want it to be funny or like a meme you know. I'm not implying either are deep in the closet characters but they are definitely different then say TK and Carlos. Especially TK who's main struggles aren't his sexuality, it's his internal trauma. Or that they are even the same as Henren.

Especially coupled with the fact that both Oliver and Ryan are very masculine men you know. They are friends. I feel like they want it to be respected.

Also off topic Didn't you also post some lovely gifs of was it Russian WW2 military queer movie? I never watched the show but I remember looking them up after you posted them. What was it called?

I probably sound a little caffeine induced but hopefully some of my point made sense.

Hi wonderful Nonnie!

Thank you so much for this lovely ask! And if it’s okay, I’ll start by addressing Firebird, the Russian queer film for which I posted the gifset you mentioned here. I am SO happy you liked the set (the original post has a link to the movie’s homepage, BTW), and you should def watch the film! It’s visually stunning, the love story is very moving IMO and the thing that got to me the most is that it’s a real story. It’s not WWII, but the 1970��s, the height of the communist regime. As someone whose family suffered under the communists after the end of the Nazis and Fascists’ era, I have to admit that speaks to me. My great uncle wrote a book about what it was like for my family, being Jews under the communists, when the individual was considered the property of the state, so it could do with him or her as it wishes, and when anyone could report you to the party with real or made up accusations that were always taken at face value. Add antisemitism, homophobia or any other type of bigotry to that type of society, and you can understand why a gay love story during that time is especially poignant. One of the two men whose romance is depicted was involved in the making of the film, because he wanted their story known. Here’s just the first gif from that set:

As for promotion, I have no doubt that Ryan and Oliver would not want Buddie taken as a joke. Both of these men are, like the other actors you mentioned, very protective of their characters and clearly understand them in depth. They’ve also both spoken up in favor of Buddie, so should our ship go canon, undoubtedly they’d want it to be treated with respect. IDK if that’s the only reason why the promotion has been shaped as it has been. There’s also been drama that I think in general made Ryan for a long while there wanna do PR a lot less. But I have no doubt that if and when Buddie go canon, they will talk about it, and will do so with the utmost love for this pairing and their family unit. I think they all know what Buddie would mean to queer viewers, like when you look at that supportive vid JLH sent for a same sex couple who are Buddie fans. Hell, even Gavin, who plays Chris, has been asked about Buddifer becoming a family, and he said he would love that. We have never seen them treating the idea of Buddie with anything other than respect and positivity, and if that’s the case before our boys have even gone canon...

I hope I managed to answer the question! I’m so grateful for your kind words and for your interest in my perspective. Have a beautiful day, lovely! xoxox

(and as always, if anyone’s looking for it, here is my ask tag! xoxox)

[musette22]

Hey!

Firstly I’d love to hear your thoughts about the Josh interview ! And secondly I’m interested to see if you agree, from the recent questions he has received about playing Bucky (also brought up at the end of the Josh interview) I get the feeling that Sebastian is kind of done with his time at Marvel? Not in a negative way, it’s obvious that he’s super grateful and I’m sure if they ask him back he would (if his schedule allowed), but if they didn’t I’m not sure if he’d be that disappointed. I think he’s kind of closed that chapter in his life I guess? He’s happy with how his character ended and he has closure? I mean he was was like 28 when he first played him and now he’s almost 40; it’s also probably a lot different now that key people he worked with on those movies (Chris, ahem) have moved on and aren’t around anymore. do you get the same vibe?

Oh my god, I'm such an idiot 🤦🏻‍♀️ When I got this ask I was like "oh yes, must answer right away!" and then I forgot 😑 I'm so sorry!!!

But anyways, as for thoughts on the Josh interview: first of all, I just really love Josh, and how kind and welcoming and open he is, and how at ease Sebastian clearly feels with him. That’s always so good to see! And I loved that Josh opened with the old Tom Holland joke and Sebastian actually took the opportunity to be like ‘sometimes I’m like, what am I doing, has this gone on too long?’ 😂 Also, I felt for him when he was like ‘and then his movie obliterated mine’ - I know he was joking because obviously Spider-Man was going to do much better but still, I was a little like ‘ouch’ 😅

And also, it was interesting to see that when Josh asked him why Sebastian was drawn to these big personalities when it came to the roles he picks, Sebastian sort of deflected and started talking about how amazing his co-stars were and how that makes all the difference. I wonder if there was a reason he didn’t give a straightforward answer to that question or if he just got sidetracked while being his usual humble self. What he said about fame was also very interesting, I never really thought Sebastian was fame hungry, exactly, but I kind of felt like he liked being famous to some extent? And I guess he does enjoy some of the perks to fame, but hearing him speak about it in this interview he seemed almost turned off by it, you know? Which I guess is understandable given the shit he’s given on a daily basis, but yeah, it was interesting to hear him talk about it so frankly. 

And ALSO (sorry, I’m rewatching it now and keep seeing things to comment on) the things he said about him being 39 and having been around for a pretty long while and that it’s taken a lot of hard work and people helping him to get people to keep paying attention to what he’s doing... That really struck me, it just almost felt like he felt like he was maybe saying too much, and it really hit home for me how much Sebastian is just a normal guy with goals that he works hard to achieve, but who’s also frequently frustrated when things don’t go as easily or as quickly as he’d like. Idk, that just felt very honest and real to me and I liked it but also I feel for him because he’s also dealing with those same struggles and insecurities we all are (getting older, trying to get noticed and be appreciated and stay relevant and all that). 

And then there was the thing I mentioned in this ask as well, about being the internet’s boyfriend and instead of commenting on how insane some people get, he just said he was grateful and that he loves when people feel a connection to him. Ugh, this man. He’s a special one 💖

As for what you're saying about Sebastian & Bucky/Marvel; I've been getting that impression too for a while now, but I never know if that's just me projecting or not 😅 It's entirely possible Seb will announce another Marvel project soon, which he may or may not already know about himself, but part of me also thinks he's ready to move on, for exactly the reasons you mention. And additionally, his career seems to be gaining momentum at the moment, so I can imagine he'd want to make the most of that and take any new and exciting opportunities that arise. That's not to say he hasn't loved playing Bucky and being part of the Marvel family, but yeah, I don't get the impression he'd be very disappointed if they didn't ask him back either tbh. Let’s see what happens, I guess! <3

[mariesocuniverse]

Relationships: NCT 127

Maeil (aka Daily)

there are two meanings to their ship name

first is, of course, their names mashed together but the second meanings is much cuter and the one fans use to explain their dynamic

When Mae found out their ship name was Maeil her first reaction was “Oh? Is it because I make sure to let Taeil hyung I love him daily?” while cuddling Taeil on a couch

he’s the same age as Mae’s older brother so she treats him as such

her brother is literally like “Are you replacing me with Taeil? I’m your reall brother!” and she’s just there sweating

part of Taeil’s hype squad and will fight donghyuck for the position of president

like the two were on vlive and spent a good fifteen minutes arguing about their positions in the club Mae won but donghyuck refuses to acknowledge it

he could be doing something simple and you can see Mae in the background with a big smile cheering

he’s also like her personal teddy bear whenever she wants cuddles and/or wants to rest

there are just multiple gifs floating around nct twt of Mae tackling Taeil for a hug or her just clinging to him on a couch because she’s either tired and wants to rest or just wants cuddles

absolutely adores his voice

there are multiple compilations on youtube about all the times Mae compliments Taeil on his voice and him just blushing the whole time

Maenny

was lowkey intimidated bc the man is a fucking tree and basically towers over her

but then he saw him play around with some other trainees and that thought disappeared real quick

he’s more like the protective older brother than like a parent like Doyoung or Taeyong

can and has used his height to his advantage when it comes to scaring people who hurt Mae or do something to make her sad

he was one of the first people who found out about her old company and he looked like he was about to storm their building probably would’ve if it weren’t for Mae

one of the first people she became friends with because he always answered questions she had when she was a trainees

before debut there were times people could see Johnny walk somewhere and Mae is just trailing after him like a lost puppy more like running because the man’s legs are long and he walks faster

there was this one time someone asked where Mae was and Johnny just shuffled to the side to reveal her behind him

his large frame was just big enough to hide her from everyone’s vision unless you walk past the two

you know that one vid of predebut nct performing Under The Sea with Johnny wearing the fish head? Mae was supposed to join him dressed as Ariel but the idea was cut last minute

there was this one time Mae couldn’t see something bc she was too short so Johnny lifted her up and put her on his shoulders

okay enough about Mae’s height

during shows he’s always encouraging Mae to talk more when she seems unsure whether to give her input or not

johnny, after an interviewer asks a question: “what do you think Mae?”

absolutely melts whenever she does aegyo because no matter how old she is he’ll always see her as the cute kid who followed him everywhere

MaeTae

honestly it’s hard to pinpoint where Taeyong’s protective parental energy started getting directed to Mae

like it might’ve been somewhere predebut but she doesnt know when

she’s like 50% sure she just blanked out and suddenly Taeyong appeared in her life scolding her for not taking care of herself

it’s not like she’s complaining abt it she’s really grateful to have someone like him in her life

when her family got worried abt her joining a group filled with guys he personally went to her house and calmly explained how Mae will be taken care of and how the group will make sure that she’ll be safe

first person to know if there’s something between SM and Mae that the other members don’t know about

he was also the first member to know about what happened with Mae and her old company

she knows she can trust him with anything

he found her alone crying in one of the practice rooms and she just poured her heart out to him

Whenever they go places as a large group he looks for Mae first before counting the other members

she got lost once and now he doesnt want her out of his sight for more than five minutes

she got him a “world’s greatest dad” trophy as a joke that he has on a shelf in his room

YuMae

you know how yuta acts with mark and winwin? yeah he does the same for Mae

if he isnt giving a hug to mark he’s all the way across the room with Mae giving her a back hug

Mae: does nothing

Yuta: aigoo look how cute she is :)

she doesnt ignore him tho she just returns the affection

likes to jump on his back for a piggy back ride or just run and jump to give him a hug

there was this one clip that went viral of Yuta talking to someone and he just pauses for a moment before turning around to catch Mae, who seemingly came out of nowhere, into a hug and turned back to his conversation

neither yuta nor the other person seemed fazed so this seemed like a regular occurrence to them

he teaches her japanese!

its beneficial to both of them because Mae can learn and Yuta won’t forget any Japanese while living in Korea :D

really really really loves his smile

like real whipped (A/N i wrote this while watching the under the sea performance and now im going through it)

like she sees him smile and that makes her smile and that makes fans smile

Can and has glared at “fans” and other people who make her uncomfortable whether it be at the airport or during their schedules

There was this one time Mae was walking ahead of him when there were fansites following them and he just pulled her back into his arms because he noticed an anti of hers was nearby

It’s like a lion trying to protect a kitten

2Young

again did not know how Doyoung because like a parent to Mae but she just ended up rolling with it

She just has this aura to her that makes you want to care of her and give her love

whenever they go eat together with the group he always put food on her plate, regardless of whether the managers glare at him or not he glares back anyway so they back off

“doyoung she’s been put on a diet-” “she’s going to eat whether you like it or not”

one time Mae got sick with a fever and he just burst into her room with medicine and soup

if taeyong has the “world’s greatest dad” trophy doyoung has the “world’s greatest mom” trophy that he says he’ll throw it away but has it perched on his desk

Mae’s also one of the members who like to clown him

she’s the one of the reasons he already has gray hairs

Mae has a folder of embarrassing photos of Doyoung’s childhood that his brother sent to her and refuses to delete it

she cant do anything about them tho bc Doyoung got his own folder of babie Mae pics courtesy of Mae’s older brother

Haechan has tried and failed to gain access to either of those folders

MaeHyun

major sibling energy

but not like the bickering kind of energy but more like very soft and uwu

there are a lot of people asking them “are you sure you’re not related?” during interviews and fansigns

Fans are just waiting for the two to do a duet bc come on SM you have a real life Disney prince and princess here

Let Mae be the Jasmine to Jaehyun’s Aladdin and perform A Whole New World together

She likes to poke his dimple

There’s this one vid where Jaehyun and Mae are sitting together and she just pokes his dimple and Jaehyun’s smile gets bigger

joked about if he could let her meet yugyeom and bambam bc of 97line and he just went no <3

when jaehyun was inkigayo’s mc nobody could approach her with the infamous inkigayo sandwich bc she was always with him not like anyone could try considering mae has several bodyguards wherever she goes

you know how jaehyun won the alpaca plushie in nct life? he gave it to mae bc he know how much she loved plushies

Honestly the majority of the plushies in her room were given to her by jaehyun

She has a bear named after him uwu

MaeWoo

Loves the energy he gives and thinks he’s so funny

He never fails to make her laugh whenever she needs cheering up

they used to be shy around each other when he first joined the group but they caught each other having a midnight snack so they just talked at 3am eating ramen until doyoung found them and told them to go to bed

now it’s just tradition for them to go to a convenience store together and eat ramen or whatever snacks they decide to get

nobody is allowed to join them its only a MaeWoo thing  

Mae has natural aegyo but Jungwoo has taught her to use it to her advantage which she does but not often

Another one of Mae’s cuddle buddies

She just thinks he looks so soft so she just clings to him whenever he’s nearby

Major uwu energy over here when it comes to the two of them together

idk why but i dont see him as the type to be protective when it comes to her dating

he’s more like

“you dont have a boyfriend yet? damn people dont know what they’re missing”

or on the other side of the spectrum

“good luck to your future boyfriend he’ll need it if he’s gonna date you”

2Ma/MaeKyung

Older brother that doesn’t feel like an older brother

Majority of the time he kinda just feels like they’re the same age or younger so newer fans get shocked when they find out she’s younger

Like there was this one time Johnny the two were playing Smash Bros and Mark was whining because he lost and Mae was jumping in the background cheering it was his fourth loss in a row but he won’t say it

they were kinda awkward around each other at first so johnny literally had to stick them in a room together and didn’t let them leave until they talked to each other

it worked and they just vibed and rambled about different topics like trainee life and what mark’s life in Vancouver was like

speaking of Vancouver

one time during their stay in Vancouver they wanted to have a friend date but he lost her at a mall and took twenty minutes trying to find her until she used the announcement service to call him

he wouldve ask his Vancouver friends to go with them but some of them had a crush on mae so no <3

When she first starting writing songs and her own lyrics she went to Mark first and asked if the lyrics she wrote were good

They were amazing and Mark made sure to tell her that :D

mae’s reaction to his dream graduation was one of the saddest things czennies have seen so when she found out he was coming back she would not let go of him

Literally could not stop smiling whenever mark was with the rest of dream filming for Resonance

It’s just very wholesome and czennies are willing to riot if SM decides to separate them

Maechan

You know how I said Maehyun was the soft and uwu type of siblings? Well Maechan are the bickering type of siblings

You know the ones who like to bicker over minor things but still would protect each other for life

they have so much dirt on each other on trainee days lmao

Haechan to Mae: lmao what a loser

Haechan when someone insults Mae: listen here you little shit

The only person allowed to clown her is him and the rest of NCT

he heard a trainee talk shit about her once and they still can’t look haechan in the eye

he’s only a few months older than her but he uses the “i’m older!” card whenever he can

“i’m older therefore i get to go first” “excuse me sir but you’re only three months older than me” “but im still older”

they fight for the title of the favorite 127 maknae but they both know that can do what they want

Mae is more lenient towards the hyungs during yaja time than haechan is tho so she just vibes whenever they go to scold him when the games over

they do team up a lot so they’re a menace when they do something together

especially in games

their competitive nature plus their brain power together? its over it even started

50% of the time they have to be separated from each other when it comes to choosing teams

the other 50% is someone choosing both of them because they want that easy win

Those two are willing to risk it all even for a bag of chips

[goldenkamuyhunting]

(1) This is more a confession than an ask, (i don't know anyone who reads GK and i NEED to speak about it, i'm sorry lol). Sometimes i feel a little sad about what will happen to Ogata, i mean, i know that maybe he'll survive due to the "Survival Road" theory, but IDK... There's so many things that i want to see, and also, being alive is the best thing that can happen to him? I still want to see him not feeling guilty anymore, i want to see him "free" and without his ghosts...

Hum...

the situation with Ogata is complicate. He's on the survival road so he should survive unless Noda drastically changed his plans.

Noda said: "I don’t intend to write Golden Kamuy as a manga that’s mainly about solving the gold mystery. I write it thinking of it as a story of each person searching for their role in life. Because I write it like a drama with multi-protagonists, I feel that I have to write each character with some depth, or else the work would end up half-baked." [Noda Satoru from Yukimura Makoto x Noda Satoru Interview: Part 2]

So I think that the idea isn't that 'staying alive' is the best that can happen to Ogata but more like 'finding his role, his place'.

Premise: we still miss a piece in Ogata's story, which might be relevant.

Noda provided us with this information:

Q50: Tsukishima’s life was hinged on learning Russian. How did he do it? I’m curious about whether he went to classes or used study materials available in Japan, or had to learn on site. Noda: Russian knowledge was used merely as a pretext for the army so it’s not that he needed to learn it immediately. He started learning after getting out of prison, from Tsurumi and on site. Ogata was studying together with him, but he wasn’t as diligent about it as Tsukishima. [Q&A section from the Golden Kamuy fanbook translation courtesy of @piduai]

This means, in 1897, Ogata was with Tsurumi and Tsukishima in Vladivostok. Ogata was born 22nd of January, 1882, meaning he was 15 at the time, yet they chose him, who didn't even know Russian like Tsukishima, to take part to such a mission. Why? Who found him or recommended him?

We aren't even sure he was already part of the army back then.

Did Hanazawa himself do it deluding him into the idea his father might hold some interest in him? If it was Hanazawa who pushed him into becoming a sniper this would make an interesting contrast with how, instead, he wanted Yuusaku to remain innocent... but truth is we've no idea. It could have been Tsurumi who picked him up.

In 1901, at 19, we see he's a second class private under Tsurumi, meaning he has recently joined the army (second class private is the first rank you get and it was kind of a 'training' rank, which is why everyone who took part to the war was already a first class private) yet Central came to chose him as a spy for Tsurumi despite him being so young back then anda relative newby in the army.

There's likely a story we don't know yet about Ogata being chosen while being so young. Maybe the trip in Vladivostok could have been just because he was an amazing sniper already (but still, how they came to know him?) but for Central to come to believe they could use him against Tsurumi... well, this is kind of big.

Why this premise?

Because as I don't know his backstory my understanding of him might be flawed.

Anyway, from what I could observe, Ogata has lived, up till now, tied to his personal disgrace and his toxic copying mechanisms to deal with it.

Almost everything he does or comes to believe is tied to his father in a way or another.

He kills his mother so that his father will come back.

He pities the kidnapped Koito because he believes him to be discharged by his father same as him.

He kills Yuusaku because he believes this will bring Hanazawa to get interested in him.

He accepts to kill Hanazawa because this will give him a chance to talk with Hanazawa himself.

He believes he lacks something fundamental because his father didn't love him and his mother.

He saves Shinpei from his father likely because he saw himself in the way the man rejected his son.

When he tells Asirpa about 'his last talk with Sugimoto' he basically has 'Sugimoto' says all he wanted Hanazawa to say, including mentioning his mother's name and Hanazawa's favourite food.

He interprets Wilk's intentions toward Asirpa as matching Hanazawa's intentions toward Yuusaku, assuming Wilk too wanted to make an icon out of her and that's why she had to remain 'innocent'.

And, as if to drive home better the message Ogata is still tied to his father we got this:

iOf all the disguises he could chose for Ogata, Noda put him in a disguise that remarks a father/son bond.

So I like to think that part of Ogata's arc will include him dealing with his relationship with his father.

The other part needs to probably include facing his unresolved feelings of guilt. Ogata and Yuusaku's dynamic raised the question of 'does guit for killing people exist?'

Ogata claims it doesn't, yet he's haunted by what he did to Yuusaku (and, possibly, to his mother) and it gets worse when he deals with Asirpa. That's because he comes to see Yuusaku in her... but considering the many parallels between Asirpa and his mother, because he also sees his mother in Asirpa.

Meanwhile Asirpa has her own problems..

Not only she has been entrusted with basically carrying out to complexion her father's plan and from the start of the story her involvement in it was tied to Wilk (first she wanted to avenge him, then to see if he was Nopperabou, then to understand why he betrayed the Ainu and why he was killed, currently she has to fulfil his dream as well as dealing with the grudge Tsurumi had against him), making her a person who's also acting due to the strong ties she has with her father... but the thing is further complicated by how she too decided she could kill (especially if this is to protect Sugimoto)... but when she was about to do it to save her own life, it's a flashback of Ogata falling after her arrow hit him what stills her hand.

Asirpa didn't want to kill Ogata on the ice field, she threw that arrow by mistake, due to Sugimoto startling her. Up until the moment she discovered Ogata lied to her, she was determinate into considering him a friend and had invested a lot into their relation. Her feelings for him due to the betrayal were, of course, complicate but what was clear and yet she tried to bury it because she too, like Ogata, uses as copying mechanism to hide her own problems, was she felt guilty for almost killing him, yet she never actively faced it but this messed her up.

So their arcs might overlap because they're dealing with similar issues (ties with their fathers and guilt) and copying mechanisms (attempting to bury problems deep inside themselves instead than facing them).

Said so, I don't know if their arcs will overlap because they will intersect or merely because they will narratively mirror each other.

Sekiya's arc overlaps the one of Tsurumi's past but the two never met, Sekiya's arc is merely used as a stool to better drive home the message for the Tsurumi's past arc.

We'll see.

Now, I don't know how Ogata's arc will go beyond that I expect him to survive, if his failure to deal with his issues will become the motivation for Asirpa to instead manage to deal with her own or if they'll both suceed.

Ogata had more than one moment of 'save the cat' (also known as 'pet the dog' trope, it's a moment in which a villain does something nice with no gain, or that even brings disadvantage to him, these being making sure Huci was spared, saving Shinpei, rubbing Koito's back and, although it was only mentioned in a Q&A, repaying the old man who helped him in Karafuto with a cod fish) which are typical of redemption arcs. I doubt Noda wants to go for a redemption arc in a traditional way but it could be he's aiming to a growing arc, in which Ogata grows out of his problems.

On another note chap 296 reminded us Hijikata is needed so as to bring the land deed to Enomoto. If Hijikata were to die in this arc though, this would become impossible. Ogata has been sent there by central likely to retrieve the land deed. If it'll be possible to use the land deed maybe he'll be the one who actually could bring it to Enomoto (it's speculated his grandfather too might have fought on the Shogun's side so it's possible his recommendations into involving him in Army work came from there).

Either way they'll better hurry as Enomoto canonically died on 26 October 1908 and in GK we're in 2008 already, spring being in chap 241 so I'm not sure if we're still in spring or we've moved to Autumn already.

So anyway I think Ogata's arc will definitely go somewhere in form of personal improvement, possibly also in form of moral improvement but I'm not so sure about it because really, there's a long way to go.

Would it be better for him to die instead than just survive and psychologically improve?

The real key here is not that people in the story were presented as 'better off dead' but that, before dying or through dying they got what they longed for.

Nikaidou saw again his brother, Toni could repay Hijikata, Usami heard from Tsurumi the words he wanted to hear, the overmentioned Sekiya rediscovered the existance of God and so on.

For others, like Kikuta or Koito senior, death didn't really provide anything but they still died with hope because, before it, they got what they wanted, Kikuta believed Sugimoto would cause Tsurumi's downfall, Koito senior managed to destroy the cannon, Toraji managed to save Sugimoto by managing to throw him away for the first time.

None of those people was saved by death, it's not like death is presented like their way out to the pain, it's either the realization of something before dying or the accomplishment of something before dying that gave them 'salvation'.

Now... I don't know what Noda is planning for Ogata and if his plans were forced to change due to some reason but, since Ogata was introduced back in chap 4 (before Tsurumi and, possibly, at the same time as Hijikata as I think Kasahara is referring to him) as a major player, Noda should have had plans for him, his arc and its conclusion.

I don't know if I'll be satisfied with them, or if the fandom at large will be satisfied because surely with Ogata he's playing a complicate game, but I want to hope the plan will be more than him just 'living'. There would be no point to having kept him alive for so long otherwise, Noda could have just killed him on the ice field.

Though well, this is just me. We can only wait and see how his arc will develop.