#i am also half asleep as i am writing this
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The ending of peaceful property, much like the entirety of the show, was bittersweet. I really tried to hold in my tears, but ended up crying anyway.
The ridiculous part is that it wasn't the sad backstory or Home's goodbye with his grandpa that made me cry. No, it was Home's silly little song and dance wearing that bright orange outfit that broke me. To me, it was the most impactful scene in the whole series. For me, this was the climax of the story. Because to me, this scene represents everything I feel this show was about. It was the perfect culmination of contradictory emotions.
Yes, this show has its flaws. Yes, it is nowhere near perfect. But I loved it anyway. There was so much love and effort poured into this series and it shows. Everyone involved in this project tried their best to present something meaningful and wholesome, and I appreciate that genuine love and passion.
Finding comfort in your own home with the people you truly love amidst the cruelties and unfairness of life-to me, this is what this whole show was about. To be able to laugh amidst the difficulties of life, to feel deep sorrow even in the happiest of times, to survive the harshest struggles without a moment of weakness yet fall apart because of a simple sentence, to love the person you hate and hate the person you love, and so much more that makes us human-this is what this show gave us.
It started as a silly little ghost show, and ended up becoming an exploration of family and home. While watching this show, I laughed, I cried, I became angry, I felt frustrated, I felt helpless, I became excited, I felt disheartened and so much more. To me, a show that managed to make me feel so much is a good show. I had a wonderful time watching it.
Was the ending of this show happy or sad? You could say it was neither, or you could say it was both. And that is why I think it was the best ending for this show. I am glad that my ragtag family of weirdos can stay together and start a new journey together. Suradech is alive and well, and so are the other four, and that's all I wanted from the ending. Because as long as you live, the possibilities are endless.
Peaceful property will always have a place in my heart.
Side note 1: I really appreciate the fact that Suradech remained the mvp till the very end. He really saved the day. Suradech is the ultimate best boy. Making a shades wearing bodyguard without any dialogue so endearing to the point I was willing to get into a fight for him is the real achievement of this show in my opinion.
Side note 2: I have a lot of things to say about family and familial love in this series. This is something that has been brewing in my mind since the first episode so my thoughts re all jumbled. But I will write an essay once I manage to organize my thoughts.
Side note 3: I was not scared by the horror part of this show. I don't know if it was because I am genuinely that unbothered by horror or because I was too busy appreciating the ghost makeup. Whatever the reason may be, the primary emotion I associated with the ghosts was sadness, not fear. The team truly did a great job with the ghosts.
#peaceful property#peaceful property the series#i will miss my tragic horror comedy#i had so much fun watching it#suradech is still the mvp of this show#yes i will die on this hill#but yeah it was a bittersweet experience#also the tonal whiplash i got from the thk trailer playing right after#one moment i am feeling all these bittersweet emotions#the next moment i am seeing whatever it is that fadelstyle are doing in that sauna#shocked me right out of my feels#i totally forgot thk is going to be on the same slot because i was so invested in the last episode hence the shock#anyway it really was a really fun watch for me#i am writing this as i am half asleep btw
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Dear humanity,
I am talking to you about my suffering and the suffering of my children.
I have not met or seen my children for more than a year😭🙏 because I am in Egypt, and my children in Gaza are going through difficult and desperate conditions🙏😭.
They are unable to obtain the basics of life🍉🍉. And who brings them water and food in light of the difficult conditions and high prices there.
I also have a severe fear of losing them🇵🇸🇵🇸. Please help by donating🙏🍉
. If you cannot help, please share🙏🔻 There is news about the opening of the Rafah crossing this month, and it is the only chance I can meet them, please help🙏😭
My has been verified by @bilal-salah0 @heritageposts @frustrated-froglet
Ahmed is living abroad alone and far from his family😭
https://gofund.me/708653bf
Click to donate link gofund.me The family is in dire need of donations. Every donation makes a difference. Please.💔🇵🇸🍉
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#free palestine#palestine#gaza#free gaza#palestinian genocide#gaza genocide#artists on tumblr#end the occupation#boycott israel#gaza strip#hatsune miku#save palestinians#help palestine#support palestine#save palestine#palestine aid#all eyes on palestine#aid for gaza#gazaunderattack
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modern!au
"you know, after i watched paddington, i'm fully convinced animals can talk. you know⎯like in toy story. but they're hiding it from us," you rambled, tapping your finger on your chin like you were in deep thought.
alhaitham flipped over on his stomach, shoving his face into his pillow, "please, go to sleep." his voice is muffled as he pleads, which prompts you to go on.
"and another thing," you continue, "does a straw have two holes? or just one? but there has to be two, right? since there are two holes in a straw."
alhaitham turns around, laying on his side as he listens to you, "you do realize you just answered your own question, right?" he mocks you.
you roll your eyes in return, threading your hands through his hair and ruffling it as revenge. you pretend not to hear him sigh out of content, "yeah. but like⎯if it has two holes, why do we only drink out of one?"
this time, alhaitham does not sigh. he groans, "it's getting too late for these kinds of questions."
you raise your eyebrows, a grin slowly appearing on your face, "oh? so i've finally frustrated the curiosity out of you,'" your sentence turned into laughter at the end.
"you have not," alhaitham countered.
"i think i have," you brush your thumb over alhaitham's eyebrow. he held your hand over his eyebrow and rubbed his thumb over it. he takes your silence as a sign that you are succumbing to exhaustion and you are finally about to fall asleep. but he was wrong.
"i just have one more question," you blurted out.
"only one?" he looked up at you with sleepy eyes. the sight made you want to giggle. alhaitham looks vulnerable. he looks adorable, you think.
"only one," you reaffirm, and rub your thumb across his eyebrow once more, "do you think we're together in every universe?"
the question caught him off guard. you never asked questions like these. most of the time, your questions range from shower thoughts to absurdities. but something seemed more intimate about this one.
alhaitham does not know if you two would be together in every universe. the universe is vast and unpredictable. there are endless possibilities and endless outcomes. it would be impossible for you two to be together in every universe.
that being said, he hopes that you two are together in most of them. alhaitham⎯though he holds disdain at your questions⎯could not imagine a life without them. he simply could not think of a world where he doesn't listen to the sound of your voice every night. he could not visualize a world where he wouldn't be a recipient of your love and your warmth.
to envision a world without you in it is like envisioning a world without it's sun. the world would be shrouded in darkness, without a single bit of light. there would be no warmth, and everything would have froze to death and died.
he looks at you while he thinks about his answer. if he had to wake up every day, and your face wasn't the first thing he saw, alhaitham knew he'd be miserable. he spends at least ten minutes of his morning admiring you. without you, what would he do?
there would be no one to brush his teeth with. there would be no one to eat dinner with. there would be no one to talk to in the middle of the night. life truly seems empty there. he pities all the other alhaithams in the vast universe that have to live without you. it must be horrific, living like that.
so, he makes sure to make this universe count.
"c'mere," he pulls you down to lay with him. you're on your side now as alhaitham pulls you closer, "i'll tell you my answer."
your eyes perk up, having been anticipating his answer the past few minutes. would he disagree or agree? does he think you two would last over different dimensions?
"really? because i think that we'll⎯" alhaitham cuts you off by placing his hand on your jawline and pressing his lips onto yours. it's slow, soft, and quite sensual. his other hand travels down to your hip, slowly rubbing circles on the bone as he continues to kiss you. you don't seem to mind or pull away, as you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him back.
your legs are intertwined with alhaitham's as you pull away. suddenly, you feel a lot tired than you did a few minutes ago. was this alhaitham's plan all along? did he just try to kiss you into exhaustion? whatever just happened, it would not work. you will get your answer.
you lean on his chest for one minute, and then you fall asleep.
alhaitham didn't intend for that to happen. it was just a small bonus. what he really wanted to do, was to appreciate what he had in front of him. to not take you for granted. he considers how lucky he is: he is here, in bed with you, and he gets to listen to you ramble. he is privileged enough to hear the sound of your voice, your laughter, your thoughts. he just wanted to show that off.
but now, you're entangled in his limbs, dozing off peacefully as you relax into his chest. you'll harass him more about his answer later, but for now, he only mumbles it to you.
"i hope we are together in every universe."
#when in writer's block... write alhaitham#he might be ooc idk n idc#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham x you#alhaitham x yn#genshin x reader#i had no idea where the fuck this was going#i just wrote this bc i wanted to write something so it is not that good#i am also half asleep as i am writing this#cowboyheyxu.archive
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neighbor!toji finds you sitting in front of your apartment door late at night as he's coming home and at first, he's really not planning on saying anything. he still doesn't know you, he hasn't talked to you – the most you've gotten is a look and a nod whenever you happen to take the elevator with him or when you just bump into him on your way out. and he really isn't the type to make small talk but with your knees pulled to your chest and your head rested on top of your hands, you look miserable and toji finds it very hard to ignore you.
he keeps stealing glances at your curled up figure as he searches for the keys in his pocket and it's only when he's got the door open, he swallows the weird lump in his throat.
"y'wanna come inside?" his voice is raspy, tired, but it does the job of luring you out of your little bubble.
there's a moment of silence.
toji isn't stupid, he knows the dangers of the world and it doesn't take him long to realize how strange his offer might sound. his eye twitches out of sheer embarrassment as he averts his gaze, rough fingers fidgeting with the keys in his hand.
"that would be really nice actually, yeah."
there's no suspicion in your tone, nothing that would indicate that you're thinking what he's thinking. toji's mossy green eyes meet yours and he's met with a look he knows all too well.
exhausted.
"just so i can charge my phone?" you're already trying to apologize for yourself. to tell him that you'll only stay for as long as you need, afraid that you're bothering him.
but he just gives you a hum, patiently waiting for you to push yourself off the ground. for a moment, you stand next to him in front of the door, waiting for him to step inside first but when he gestures to go in before him, you don't argue with him. your hushed 'thank you' doesn't go unheard.
his apartment is tidy. probably even more so than your own. it looks surprisingly cozy – the light isn't a big, bright one but a dimmed down one instead and the sight of his big couch makes you let out a soft sigh. from the corner of his eye, toji observes you. he hasn't had anybody over in a long time and now here you are.
he tells you to take off your shoes and to take a seat while he goes to look for a charger, giving you the perfect opportunity to take a better look around the place – dvd's, old magazines and newspapers, a few movie posters and one singular plant. it's not a lot but it still feels like a good home.
at the sound of his voice, you snap out of your thoughts. your fingers brush against one another as you take the charger from him with another 'thank you'. a
"you're not going to kill me or anything though, right?"
...
for a man his size and his age, he feels a bit small under your gaze. you're blunt more than anything and he's just a little caught off-guard by your question.
"no."
"that's good."
you break the eye-contact to look for a place to plug in the charger and he feels relieved. "you feel safe."
you say it like it's nothing.
"i wouldn't've accepted the offer from anyone else, i think. well, maybe from the lady across the hall but then again, she'd just scold me for being up so late and i'm way too tired for that."
the words slip from your lips as if they're light as air while toji needs a second to really hear you, to know that he isn't making you uncomfortable. that in your eyes, he isn't scary or threatening in any shape or form. perhaps you're just naive for putting your trust into a stranger like this but toji still can't help but feel a little warm inside.
he doesn't say anything and you don't mind his silence. you do thank him a third time and let your lips curl into a proper smile when he almost unintentionally raises his brow at you – like it's weird that you're doing that.
he ends up bringing you a glass of water before joining you on the couch, both of your eyes set on the tv screen and the show that plays on it as you eakt for your phone to come alive again.
it doesn't feel wrong to just be with him like this.
it's right enough for you to let your exhaustion sneak up on you. your eyelids grow heavy without you even realizing it and then you're already dozing off on your neighbor's couch.
your quiet snores are so unfamiliar, the mere idea of somebody being able to fall asleep in his presence so surreal that he's left sitting there dumbfoundedly. regardless, he reaches for a blanket before throwing it over your body ever so carefully and turns down the volume of the tv as to not disturb you.
a stranger, a neighbor. somebody, who makes him feel a bit more alive. a silly comment, a blunt reply. a smile and a thank you.
a push to keep on going.
#soggy wet cat toji strikes again#everything i write is always very self-indulgent but this is like . next level#this is very VERY selfship coded okay#this is also . very not proofread#like i am half-asleep rn..#but i needed to get it out#ilove him#wahhhhhhh#also reader has no keys i only now realized that i didn't say it in there anywhere lmao#ahh whatever i sleep now#zzzzzzzzzzzzz#toji#mickey is daydreaming#miji
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I feel like I need to know more about Todo and Yuki’s relationship as mentor and mentee. Like they seem the same flavor of person which is very different from what gojo and megumi have going on.
But also Yuki is very adoptive “dad” coded in the way geto’s relationship to the twins is very adoptive “mom” coded.
In that Geto seems to take on primarily a caretaker role than a mentor while Yuki is more a trainer and life coach than she is a caretaker. Which is something you don’t really see given to female characters in anime.
Like Todo lives by her words and fights by her example. Everything he knows about jujutsu she taught him and Todo’s a very skilled and violent fighter and that reflects back perfectly on Yuki’s own fighting style. It’s so very anime mentor it’s insane she is just introduced to us as Todo (this absolute menace’s) teacher before anything else. I’ve never actually seen a female anime character be introduced this way.
in contrast to Geto who serves as the caring parent who was tragically taken from the girls violently and too soon and the girls wish to honor him and live how he would have wanted them too despite the ungodly situation they find themselves in. Which is such a stereotypical anime mom trope it’s almost funny. He even fits in with the still very much in love with and still speaks highly of the father that abandoned the family in hopes that the kid will one day understand and forgive them. He is essentially the mom from Full Metal Alchemist.
Gege that fucking deranged cat actually flipped the script on us and it’s so interesting which is why it’s so frustrating how little we actually end up getting off yuki when all her little scenes point to such an interestnn in character.
She is introduced as one half of a crazy dynamic that we never actually get to see put to screen and that’s such a shame. Because Yuki is such a welcome addition to the tropes of female characters we need more female “dads”
#am I making sense#somebody tell me if this makes sense#I’m half asleep writing this#not that there’s anything wrong with those moms but come on#have some pity on those mothers why are y’all always killing em off while the dead best dad gets to#thrive and be powerful?#she’s also still very feminine which is a nice m#her role in the story is just different#I just need more female kickass mentors that are also parental figures I don’t think this is too much to ask#gege when i fucking catch you#that fucking cat giving us amazing female characters and then never using them 😭#he just be spamming maki for real but atleast we get that#throwing thoughts to the void#gege akutami#jjk#justice for yuki and todo’s relationship#jujutsu kaisen#yuki tsukumo#tsukumo yuki#aoi todo#todo aoi#todo jjk#yuki jjk#geto suguru#satsugu#suguru geto#Geto jjk#I don’t even care how but the damn cat needs to bring her back#or give us another flash back or something#just expand on the complete insanity that would have been these two running the streets together
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I am getting this off my chest once and we're not talking about this again. In my personal opinion it is a mediocre album by her standards. Firstly it's too long. More songs does not equal a better album. Sometimes some songs deserve to be left on the cutting floor for a reason. After a time the songs start blending together because sonically they sound very similar.
Secondly the lyrics. They're clunky in a lot of places I'm sorry. The annoying part for me is that she's capable of writing better songs!! Folklore showed that. Red showed it. I don't understand why she's backsliding like this.
Okay also this is probably not applicable for everyone but personally I do Not appreciate the way the fandom just bullied Joe Alwyn and are now coming up with all these takes about how the album is actually not about her relationship but about her experiences™️. Where was this energy 6 months back? And I'm sorry, but I can't find it in myself to be sympathetic towards a multi-millionaire who can definitely afford to go to therapy and get the help she needs while selling out stadiums on her world tour.
Lastly, the thing that disappointed me the most was that the whole album cycle was marketed as a more mature folklore but it turned out to be something that Red era Taylor would have probably written and rejected. I guess the main reason I'm so disappointed is because she is definitely capable of doing better!! She has done it before!!
Overall maybe she needs less yes men and more people to say that hey maybe this isn't the best direction to go album wise. (Don't come at me with the Braun controversy because there are two ends of being extreme and both are equally harmful).
Again. I'm not saying it's all bad. I think it could have been a wonderful album if she'd cut it down to 12-14 songs, polished up the lyrics and shaken up the production a bit. Songs like my boy only breaks his favorite toys, loml, who's afraid of little old me and I can do this with a broken heart definitely show that the potential is still there. All I'm saying is that it's definitely not her best work.
#i am half asleep while writing this#so i am sure a lot of this is incoherent#swiftie moots - please look away#i am just a bit irritable after the last few days lol#also halsey did a way better job describing mental illness with manic imo#anyway i feel like a lot of this is going to get me sniped but oh well#ttpd critical#anti ttpd#ig?
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How/when does Jersey end up saying I love you?
oooooh! okay, so i was going to write it out ( i am jennifer slowpez so in nina fashion, i am spoiling it, what's new? ) but there is a part after this...if we remember this ask i am obsessed with where raven is diabolically patching jersey up via the tiny child sized hellokitty carebear bandids kyle bought for the kids he works w in the elementary school via that one anons delicious input...genius really.
*raven vc* pero like, so you know, they pull away it's awkward fml. dawg, they are about to *dreamy fit asf rm tolkien posh british vc* have a cheeky little snog like that entire whumpshot...anyways!
( ALRIGHT THIS IS LONG, VERY UNHINGED AND ROUGH SORRY I HOPE YOU SMILE LAUGH AND CRY PENDEJOS <3 )
kyle notices that the vinyl record player is playing their sadie hawkins first dance song ( idk what song it is but its an abba song because thats gay rights baby! its probably my love, my life or andante andante...branch in my eyes ) and theres a bowl of skittles, but only the red ones are in it...because stan still eats around the red ones bc only kyle can have the red ones....brb crying!
yadda yadda yadda. and i think on the tv, the screen is paused over a brand new episode of say yes to the dress ( if we recall, before i deleted chapter six...which was a disaster but also a masterpiece rip, ravenstan was being so boyfail cute in it in his armani suit and was rizzing the hell out of kyle with his crunchy boy knowledge of plants...when stan came over for their #hate fashionably late, kyle was stress-watching say yes to the dress...which is his favorite show because he claims to be allergic to romance, but secretly thinks its really beautiful that people can fall and love and get married...AAA )
but anyways, when they start dating say yes to the dress ( shoutout to when ravenstan forgot what it was called bc adhd and called it Are You Down With The Gown ) became their show and kyle very quietly is like "were you going to watch it?" and stan getting nervous, trying to deflect because they always watch it together is like uhuhuhHhHh and kyle, sad laugh shaking his head is like "baby" *yersey swearing* "dude...baby dude...my guy...just guy, fuck, you know you can watch it without me. we're not...Together. *hurts worse than his ribs* you don't have to wait for me." and stan is like "i-i know. i was going to...i-i Wanted to! i just--i couldn't. i couldn't watch all the people in...."
Love :(
he doesn't say it. but jersey kyle can FEEL it.
he winces. hard.
he wants to fucking die...he wants to say something but he's so stupid and he ruined ravenstan's life, words fail him but STAN!!! grabs his hand and is like "-because! because i knew it would make me miss you. and fuck it. FUCK EVERYTHING KYLE I FUCKING MISS YOU!!!! i miss you and i LOVE you and i don't--i don't care if you can't say it back! i don't have to wait for you, but i WILL! i want to! i'll--i'll wait forever! YOURE MY FOREVER. people tell me they love me everyday, but with you--i can feel it. I. Just. Know. and that's enough! you're enough. YOURE ENOUGH, KYLE BROFLOVSKI. just the way you are. and i'm sorry...i'm sorry i pushed you and tried to change you. i was just, i was insecure about it i guess--and--and--"
cue kyle smiling like an idiot ( the rare kyle smile ) like "...stan?"
ft. stan still yapping smh like "oh my god, i miss you SO much! curb only got into the trash because you weren't here to remind me. and i had pasta from this five star restaurant the other day and oh my god, ky. it was TRASH! yours is so much better! and-and i think i broke the washing machine earlier, oh my god, it sounded like an explosion, i can't find anything, i--"
kyle...literally still trying to get stans attention smh going
"stan? hey? stan???? Stan???"
stans still yapping btw ( oh my god when he is passionate the man never shuts the hell up hes like rambling himself into a corner ) like "and theres this new exhibit in the aquarium and theres this huge red fish in it and i wanted to send it to you and be like 'this you' but were fighting and I HATE FIGHTING WITH YOU. can we stop fighting? :< i miss you. will you please come home? curb misses you, i miss you, i--"
*jersey vc* STANLEY MARSH!
*stan doing the wide flustered doe eye thing with the lip ring lip bite combo that makes kyle like actually criminally insane with love feels*
speaking of...
he leeeeeeeeeeeeeeans in...
gently grasps ravenstan's face
KISSES THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SHIT OUT OF HIM.
and says
and i quote...
"Te amo." <3
AAAAAAAAAA AND THE CROWD GOES WIIIIIIILD :')
-uncle nina, gratuitous undivorcer of ravesey style
#i'll edit the tags in a second#but is everyone happy#theyre in love again#i promise#*impastor craig vc* by the power vested in me i now pronounce my beautiful gay sons that i tortured for half a year#Undivorced ;-; <3#I CAAAAAAAAAANT BELIEVE IT#no one get used to it im still gonna have them do miserable break up things and create drama dont worry about THAT#BUT I CANT BELIEVE JERSEY KYLE SAID I LOVE YOU#I AM SO PROUD WOW THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL#now i can write the jersey kyle Can say i love u meme#( which is my favorite ask meme its so funny ily robot kyle )#he is like...i have so many feelings...i am excited? frightened? ex...frightened?#I CANT BELIEVE JERSEY KYLE SAID TEEEE AMO#SMILE PENDEJO NATION WE ARE SOOOOO BACK!#is anyone else crying or is it just me is it just jersey and raven and me and curb and the entire internet#UR WELCOME! YOU ARE ALL NO LONGER CHILDREN OF DIVORCE! TIME TO REJOOOOOOOOOOOICE YALL#*passes out The I Survived The 2024 Ravesey Divorce And All I Got Was This Stupid Teeshirt stupid teeshirts*#my sons in love my sons in AMOR bitch!!!!!!#that rizz was crazy also this was too happy so pls note they quite licherally almost smashed but kyles bones are broken#NOT THE ONE THAT MATTERS THO but he did still get stanbanned by sexy nurse raven lamE#*teri vc* at least he'd die doing what he loves...LITERALLY!!!#i admire his dedication like i too would risk it all to get risque and frisque with ravenstan but no they just#watched say yes to the dress and fell asleep on the couch#The End <3#everybody chant NINA!!! NINA!!!! NINAAAAAAA!!!
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hiyaaa i didn't know how i should respond to ur reblog of my commentary on your hq+thighs post but i'm just glad my blabbering made you happy in some way! just wanted to revisit it to show it proper appreciation. you're such a sunny positive presence on here and tysm for the fantastic filth that was that hc collection. i'm still beaming that you added in ushiwaka from my comment when i was still just a random new follower! sending hugs <3
HIHIIIIII omg can i call you yam ?? IT MADE ME SO HAPPY. i was really nervous writing for haikyuu omg. it meant very much to me > < i’ve read your tags over and over since then !! ALSO. A SUNNY POSITIVE PRESENCE IS SOOOOO SWEET OF YOU TO SAY. that has me smiling so harddmdmdm i love you ALSO . moot !! new moot !! is that okay ?!
#🦢— mail !#🤍 from: yam !#IF ITS OKAY#ALSO IF U WANT A DIFF NAME FOR UR TAG / ME TO ADDRESS U LEMME KNOW !!!!!#also i’m half asleep writing this i really should be in bed so#i’m sorry if something i said makes no sense#tis 4 am rip#OH WAIT#DID I SAY THANK YOU ?#THANK YOU AGAIM#OKSLEEP
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I saw someone using this Picrew for their original characters, and I wanted to try it myself for my own. Click for better quality!
Part 2 of MySadBlorbos
#“produce content” they said and here I am at 00:15 half asleep making this mess#no one forced me to#I just wanted to waste time#Also the Triad refers to herself as one individual - but other Systems may not#the other evil#writing#characters#wip#greek#or#hellenic#persian#italian#yemeni#mythology#hades and persephone#death and the maiden
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parksborn au where harry is a prince. that’s it. i’m not awake enough to think of anything else but harry is a prince and somehow him and peter become best friends as kids and grow up constantly aware of each other and the struggles they face but their struggles are completely opposite from each other’s and and. and. and.
#parksborn#thinking of like. like 8 year old prince harry sneaking off during an event and meeting stuck in poverty peter parker#recently orphaned living with his aunt and uncle but sneaking out at night to explore or something or just to do something because he hasnt#been able to sleep much since losing his parents#and harry is like imma be honest i have no clue where i am#and peter is like ur literally the prince?? this is your kingdom????#and harry is like yeah but also i have left the palace grounds a total of 17 times#and peter is like ok well there’s a litter of puppies being raised by the street dog i’ve taken care of since i was 5. wanna meet them#i said im too tired to think of more and then i thought of more#and now it is the only thing i can think of#god the way i would be writing this right this second if i wasn’t literally half asleep currently
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writing is hard when youre trying to continue a story you wrote half of like ten months ago
#actually writing is just hard in general#i didnt fall asleep til like six am so im also super tired lol#anyways#logical error go brr#bwuh#also i lied ive already doubled the wc in this and im not done yet#(which isnt necessarily long. its like 2.3k words rn. i have no idea if thats long lol.)#so it was less than half written but whatever lol#and i still have to write a whole ‘nother scene after this one#which isnt even done lol#anywaysss im procrastinating lol#x#x chatter
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i think maybe an implicit assumption of a lot of anti-porn or porn-skeptical sentiments is assuming that sexuality is opposite to rational thought.
there's a sense that you have to shut down your brain to get off. and that's a sexy notion--both in the sense of having widespread appeal and being kinda kinky :P--but it's deeply flawed.
in particular, there is an underlying sense that rational thought is the core defensive mechanism of all things decent and prosocial, and it must stand guard against our base, carnal natures to prevent disaster.
on both fronts, the notion is wrong: rationality and sexuality can coexist, and rationality is not harmless while carnality is harmful--both can be positive sometimes and destructive other times.
yet the so-called rational mind is often treated as the last bastion against predation (both as victim and assailant). porn with "problematic" themes is sometimes treated like a unique tool of regressive brainwashing compared to other forms of storytelling, but this seems to assume that the rational mind vanishes in service of sexual pleasure, leaving the subconscious vulnerable to implantation of backwards ideas. in actuality, i don't think porn is more likely to change someone's mind than any other kind of art, i just think it's often more honest about its hang-ups.
explicitness can seem tactless, but arguably the rawness of expression allows us to feel the whole of our responses to topics that may feel taboo and untouchable in the everyday.
and that's another thing... rather than a unilaterally celebratory attitude, i think pornographic stories can--intentionally and unintentionally--elicit challenging feelings: dread, ambivalence, confusion, disgust, and fascination, among other things. these may not be sexually arousing, but they are a different kind of stimulating.
and even if creators didn't intend for you to treat their work as anything other than, ahem, fap material, i think you can challenge yourself to read it as a story and to analyze it the same way you would other works.
if you fear losing your rationally-based moral compass in a whirlwind of carnality, then try and see if you can hold pleasure and pain together simultaneously. choose to make meaning of the work you have deemed meaningless.
when we approach with some curiosity, i think challenging topics in porn can act as a trick mirror that reflect a side of us that we may not have wanted to see, but still needed.
i would like to transmute the energy used to reject and avoid topics that trigger the discomfort of confronting the evils of our world into energy used to witness and examine our relationship to those evils. sometimes, they are so alien to us that they become objects of exotic fascination. sometimes, they are closer to our hearts than we may think. either way, i hope we can move past the idea that sexuality and thoughtfulness cannot coexist harmoniously.
#indexed post#It's extremely late I'm half asleep this might not be super coherent#I'm keeping reblogs on as a bravery exercise but please be patient#I also am like super guilty of drawing this dichotomy myself. I'm almost embarrassed to post this lest we reexamine my old writing and find#This topic's sticky fingerprints everywhere#But again. Exercise in bravery.#Anyways really I just wrote this because I get mad that people assume porno comics are all just schlocky nonsense#Its like You dont even kjow the heartbreak. The intrigue. The bitterness and the overwhelm of the humble sex cartoon#Anysays I have autism and I want people to take the art I care about seriously. What else is new
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goodnight gamers!
#ash rambles 💚#it's been a pretty solid day! i didnt do much other than play j.udgment for hours straight tbh#and hey. I'm fine with that#I've had a lot on my mind as of late with just life and everything being pretty nuts so I'm glad to have that escape#i hope everyone is doing good#one day I'll organize this blog more and write some more fanfic also#... one day- i know i've said that time and time before#yawwwnnsss I'm so sleepy.. its about 1am rn so I'm about to snooze. just got to chapter uhhhh 8 of the game 👍🏽#something thats been on my mind a lot as of late is that i spend a lot of time supporting and writing shit for other peoples f/os and ships#which is great. it's awesome. it makes me happy. whenever i write these things there is never a doubt in my mind that the character LOVES#the shipper. when i say theyre soulmates i wholeheartedly mean that from the bottom of my heart. yet it's only when i write my own shit that#i get all insecure about it. especially in the case of my dearest husband since I really do just love him so much. i never do allow myself#that same grace huh? i never let myself be loved despite how i am towards my selfshipper friends#it's just been something that's been on my mind lately and it's something I'm trying to get better at. sometimes it's just hard to believe#that they really do feel the same. I adore these characters so much it makes my heart ache. that kind of love doesnt always come easy#okay now I'm just sleepy rambling#feel free to ignore this LMAAAOO#i am literally half asleep rn#gn gamers! sleep good! or good morning too if that applies#I'm gonna go fantasize about my husband + some y.akuza crushes and knock tf out#goodnighty!
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.
#the last few weeks have been wild symptom wise#first extreme problems falling asleep#then a few days with an opressive fatigue making me fall asleep after half a day#the stomache problems#and now just no hunger at all and feeling like my body and brain is rotting from the inside out#slowly turning to liquid and taking away my ability to function or enthusiasm for anything#you know what i'd like#a few days of just feeling good#like idk maybe a weekend of just feeling like myself#or maybe even just normal depression i can handle that just fine feeling a little sad and stuff is whatever to me#but dissociating and not feeling like I am in my body and brainfog and having no thought or feelings and no hunger or sense of taste#and when i put on music it makes me want to scratch my ears off thats hell please stop that#also yay to me for writing things out and the realising#“oh this isn't just feeling weird. you're going through it”#“if you hate yourself do this if you hate the world do that if you hate everyone... quick question#what should i do when i feel like i need someone to insert a straw into my brain and blow into it realy hard#and make it bubble up like soapy water?#i feel like that one john galm album thats basically just the coolest saddest guitar you've ever heard and him inaudibly screaming lyrics#my brain is in the state a crumbled up empty soda can on the sidewalk is in (meanwhile that should be my throat) :c#meow#i have one strand of thoughts and it's the equivalent of cat wailing#I CANT EVEN LISTEN TO MUSIC#I was like well maybe i should just listen to music.. until i remembered... the horrors#am not made for this#get the blow guns out lads and lasses#personaltext
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working on a couple og fiction projects and i think i'm slowly coming to understand why Hussie shit the bed so hard after cascade like, metatextually
because like [S] Cascade was a full on Culmination right. a good amount of the plotlines up until that point had reached a sufficiently gorgeous climax, there was the possibility of it developing even more, and the stakes had been overcome even though they were at an all-time high.
like they had to destroy two entire universes for this sun! three of the main characters die and come back as Gods! the score is absolutely banging and thematically appropriate, the visuals are stunning, the way the website itself changes is insane. Newgrounds fucking Breaks. homestuck becomes the webcomic that breaks Newgrounds
But the thing is... how do you top that, narratively?
Hussie has already established that death kinda doesn't mean anything. It has now been established that entire universes can be destroyed without the really main core cast being hurt. It's a taste of the 'escape the narrative' end that Homestuck was always building to but the problem is, this time, even when they escape their own narrative-
they're just stuck in another narrative. back to square one. and like, there's something to be said about that! about escaping your narrative (the beta session) and then finding yourself in someone else's (the alpha session)- but that never really gets utilized to its full potential in Act 6.
so like you're Andrew Hussie and you're seeing that everyone is expecting incredible things from you. your little webcomic has somehow attracted legions of fans, ensnared a team of musicians and coders and artists who are in love with what you have built, and changed fandom culture also. that is a Lot Of Pressure. so how do you continue the story after Cascade?
I feel like the impulse of the artist is to escalate. It is always to escalate. And that's all exasperated by the nature of continuous long-form content that has an audience to give its reactions in real time.
It's an impulse I struggle with a hell of a lot, because the thing is, there's a certain expectation you as an artist, you as a writer, have set in place for your audience. You have promised an experience and it is your job to deliver that experience. And it's not that you've promised to give fans the experience they expect, or even want necessarily, but you've promised to give them an experience in line with your vision.
But the thing is, sometimes your vision needs to be reworked along the way. Sometimes your ambitions get the best of you and you aim slightly too high, and when you look to the future every carefully laid plan is a kinked out mess. But you can't share those fears because just as you have given the audience the expectation of what your art is, you have given them an expectation of who you as an artist are, even indirectly.
if you have this veneer of irony and insincerity, people will expect it. if you give the veneer that you know exactly what you're doing and that everything is part of a grand plan, the audience will believe it, at least at first. if you have just created one of the biggest cultural phenomena in recent memory, they will expect you to be the kind of person who would have been able to create such a thing.
I don't want to speculate about what Hussie might've been personally feeling because like, I was 13 when Cascade dropped, nor do I want to speculate on any arrogance or insecurities he might've had, because that's real personal shit that has no place in the conversation.
but I can tell you that when you don't expect something to blow up, and it does, there's a certain fear of the thing you have created. You see the audience reaction as you write and there will always be the question in the back of your mind: where is the point where people lose interest?
so the impulse of the artist is to try and escalate and to keep attention on them at all costs. and thus, the impulse of the writer is to jump straight into finding the next bigger thing- the next white whale- the next thing to top their Cascade- while forgetting the important fact that when telling a story, to reach that higher climax, there has to be trust in the continuity that they're building.
You have to trust that you already have every tool in your box, and that you'll find new, creative ways to use them. You have to step back and look at all the new ideas you're getting and figure out which has something that could be useful and which you're just using to distract yourself from your own story. You have to stymie your own urge to self-sabotage your work with bullshit implicit bias or flights of whimsy.
More than that, have to trust that what you've built is enough for someone to love it, not just for flashy visuals or catchy music but because the story you're telling is one that is resonant to someone.
To have trust in your audience isn't only limited to trusting that they're smart enough to 'get it'. It means trusting that they will experience and continue to want to experience your work. It means putting your faith in the fact that people want to hear you out. It means swallowing your pride when they don't- and it means learning new techniques to tell the story you wanted to tell in a way that will communicate what you want to tell them better. It means trying to meet people where they are in such a way that it doesn't compromise what you want.
Or maybe Hussie just didn't know what the fuck he was doing. Maybe I'm just projecting too hard because I loved Homestuck and now its spectre haunts me with every comic script I write. Maybe I don't even really know what I'm saying.
All I know is that if media is a conversation, we've lost contact with Andrew Hussie years ago.
#homestuck#idk if this counts as meta so much as the ramblings of a half-dead starving artist but hgjbkjk#honestly writing the last understuck chapter i can see myself falling into the pitfalls#like my writing is a lot more polished now! its snappy its quick its true to life#but also the quick snap from event to event just#didnt leave much time for anything emotionally resonant to settle#maybe im thinking too hard#its midnight and im half asleep#am i making any sense?? oh well#might delete later hbjkj#sam's thinkin again
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tagging system for my blog bc this blog desperately needs organization. also it is subject to change
racc chit chat - my own written out post things racc rbs - reblogs :D raccs in a trench coat - talking abt system stuff racc info - info about my page for me (like this post!!) racc tags - tag games & just generally posts I was tagged in me core [ 📀 ] tommy's tag for art & hc's that remind him of his source
fronting tags will be added to our posts just in the form of "fronting: alter name🕯️"
#ngl this is here more for me to remember bc i WILL forget#also I am writing this half asleep so it might not be the most comprehensible thing yet but eh who cares#racc chit chat#racc info#fronting: blurry🕯️
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