#i am actually here to rant about my real irl in real life life

[strangeswift]

.

[madstronaut]

word-tasting aka literary synaesthesia 101

when I tell you some of the best writing I've ever read are these promptfill drabble fics spurred by nothing but a few key words? this must be the closest equivalent of IRL witchcraft because damn! absolute magic in the kitchen with these challenges I would watch 24 seasons straight no breaks of cook-off competitions feasting solely off seasonal drabbles and prompt&challengefills alone that I've read across this hellscape

I have been meaning to go through some of my latter moots' works and this unusual omegaverse ficcy by syo absolutely arrested me

I actually started writing this little ramble back in August but due to some IRL loss/sad anniversaries of late, put a pin in it to resume ranting (affectionate) later and THE TIME IS NIGH folks

Reading: reminiscent by @syoddeye

ah where to even start? this brought out such a viscerally emotional reaction in me as I happened to be reading it during several very different seasons, namely - horny (before), grieving (after), acceptance (now). I will not elaborate further, yall know the drill.

During grieving I had a hard time recalling how excited I was in the before (I originally wrote 'when I was horny' and laughed my ass off) about all that this fic made me feel because in so many ways the emotions became too real for me instead of cathartic - I only say this as the highest of compliments to sy as a writer, tbh, as I feel a fic that makes me emote or gets a strong response/reaction out of me is high prose/praise in my book

sy has a way of writing to really not just bring our favorite broken boys to life but really let you walk in their skin, feel what they feel, see what they see, so to speak -

It takes a second. Simon shoots a look at Soap to silently convey incredulity, but he might as well take a blade to the neck. The seat across from him is empty. Before memory strikes, he’s on his feet,

my GOD the whiplash here is so, so familiar - just that raw grief of having those familiar habits built around someone being ripped away

The room reeks of damp earth and pine, a hearth in a lonely, snowed-in cabin. It gathers the force of an avalanche, pummeling into him and stealing his breath. It settles an invisible weight on his chest and limbs. Buried to his neck in memory, he forces himself to move. He’s dug himself out of the ground before. He’ll do it again.

I can smell this sentence and it smells like a masterpiece. I am not as eloquent as sy is here with their words but if that "buried to his neck in memory" line was a snack it would probably be those melt in your mouth non-chew luxury chocolates they sell at the seasonal bryant park holiday market that I buy and stash away so I can savor it slowly and greedily without sharing it

The days pass, surreal yet sharp and excruciating, as if he’s a surgical patient and the anesthesia didn’t take.

yes. this is too real. I described a grief season before as having my eyelids cut off and having to crying constantly to keep seeing - and to keep myself from seeing. I cried reading this sentence, because it made me feel seen. 100/10

I have a soft spot for omegaverse stories but I love this one in particular for all that it typically isn't - what happens if you lose a mate you never bonded with? how do you navigate the reality of what is really a horrific world if you get down to the tacks of what being so driven by instinct could really entail? what could CoD Omegaverse really be like if we just stopped being horny for like two sec- (can you tell I'm a sucker for AUs)

It gnaws and bites like flies to see former friends turn their noses up at you. Cracks and shifts your insides, uncovering anger as old and boiling as a deep-sea vent.

I am feasting on the angst here. how do you do it sy?! make pictures and scents and sounds and sensations of real memories?! an absolute masterchef of wordsmithing

He just lets you wail. In retrospect, it’s clear that he swapped a cudgel for a knife. Dissected your rage with a mind trained to defuse explosives.

once again, CoD writer characterizations are 😘👌 I think often of the roles given to johnny to fill both in the in-game lore/canon and in the myriad of amazing fics out there and the ones I love best are the ones that seem to really embody his spirit - even when the fic will deviate from canon details - and also honestly, seeing how much the writer loves and sees the character by how they're fleshed out through their eyes/writing - if you've ever seen a portrait of someone and noted the differences/touch-ups, only to realize you are seeing the person as the artist is seeing them - quite a similar experience I had reading this

The tide’s out, and you stand on shore, waiting for the crushing grief.

😭😭😭 once again noting reading this felt at turns raw and cathartic. incredible

The portrait of your best friend bears witness from atop the mantle. In uniform with a buzzed head and a serious expression, it’s him, yet nothing like him... As Johnny followed your parents into death, you’re left alone, subject to the whims and mercies of an aunt who sees only your designation. 

It's him, yet nothing like him.... *MW3 flashbacks*

also still entertaining a fanciful urge to write a small dissertation as a/b/o designation as allegory for going through life as female-presenting and/or oppressive societal/gender expectations-

Your nostrils flare at his vinegariness, the feeler he sends to test the waters

i fucking love that line. VINEGARINESS! truly feel this is what creepy would smell like

Familiar, somehow, and powerful... Citrus wrinkles your nose, beckoning you to relax.... Instincts like cicadas, buried to avoid that which would exploit them, dig their way out of the ground.

Cedar and myrrh, stone and soil—a burst potent enough to cow the eldest member of your family, forcing her to retreat a step. This close, your nose finds the word it was looking for. Sepulchral.

I read with baited breath anticipating simon and sister's meeting. unfffh physically shivered at how good these lines were. the angst! the suspense!

You refuse an obligatory invitation-

HAHAAHAHAHAHA i am also obsessed with the sister in this fic

also I learned the word spoor reading this fic and I have the biggest crush on fics that make me learn/look up new words (looking at you, yeyinde-)

Simon cloisters for two days. His scent returns to normal, slowly rolling over the house like a thick fog.

beginning to wonder if the sister has synaesthesia but in a/b/o - I actually had a friend in college who had synaesthesia (you would NEVER peg him as such, he was like a very chill buttoned-up finance/tax bro but once we coaxed this detail out of him he talked about how the word 'and' always felt 'purple' to him and he casually noted things like "you smell pink" or "you look blue/silver" - that last one he said of me which was very puzzling lol)

As if the house needs another ghost. 

me, reading this line:

The floor creaks under his foot, but he stops the second you tense. You hold the makeshift cold compress in place and apply pressure. Another stilted silence passes, and you catch a whiff of citrus. Simon’s eyes snap to you. “She’s cracked the case,” his hand creeps toward yours, giving you time to let go before he steals the compress and pulls away.

if this is not the most simon of simon things to do... obsessed with this grieving meek gentle giant

I love the made-up science of a/b/o and the backbending logic leaps fanfic writers do to create the wonderful word of sex pollen and heats and ruts and etc. but the hyperosmia...a new level of a/b/o horror!!! gah i loved this

All the scent blockers in the world cannot deter the repugnant or unscrupulous.

ah yes, when a/b/o is still rooted in reality in many ways...

It’s difficult to keep a straight face as Johnny scruffs the stranger, bringing him to heel. Your brother compels the miscreant to apologize and then sets him loose, satisfied he’s neutered the man.

it is a fact of life, i will be attracted to all shades of johnny canon and fanon - also the use of 'scruff' and 'neuter' here is just 😘👌

But has it ever occurred to you that I might want someone? That maybe this isn’t just about your life? That being saddled with you isn’t easy?

ugh this was so hard to read because i feel like as an eldest sibling it has stripped a very raw part of that part of me naked when reading this. i hate sometimes how painful it is to unleash inside thoughts in emotional moments, both for the speaker and listener. 100/10 writing once again

The impulse to apologize and flee attempts to puppet you,

unffffff how to word this? this is true for me in all the seasons i've re-read this so far - i find it ultimately incredibly cathartic to see these uncomfortable sensations and feelings put to paper. and yes i am gonna keep rating sy's writing 100/10 throughout this ramble, no one can stop me

Simon pokes through the shirt, face blank and mouth shut. Soap’s chewing on something. Rather, something’s chewing Soap.

hahahahaaha i loved this mental image

“No, you’re shutting me out. Goin’ away.” “‘I’m right here.” Soap frowns tiredly. “Why don’t you want to come? Meet my sister?”

i love how generally speaking soap is universally seen as very adept at reading the room/sensing emotions - we stan a self-aware king✨

“I want to be.” It’s not a whine; it’s hardly a complaint. It’s a statement of fact delivered with resignation.

🥺🥺🥺 yes this also made me cry lol, 10000/10

Simon admires the droop of Soap’s dark eyelashes on his skin and even breathing. Closest thing to heaven he’ll ever see, he thinks. 

i love secret romantic simon

Soap’s arm tightens its hold as he slightly flares his scent, a plume of woodfire as inviting as his words.

hmmmmm that's where simon learned it from

Soap can’t pin him on the sparring mat, but he can with a look. “Doesn’t have to mean anything.” To you. Doesn’t have to mean anything to you.

if it were an ao3 tag i would favorite 'mutual unfulfillable pining'

But poking through the thick, funereal brume is juniper and pine. The hours preceding heavy snowfall. It’s an odd combination, grounding and sharp, petrous and serene. A graveyard in the dead of winter.

once again absolutely shivering at all the synaesthesial descriptions. I can see these smells!!!!!!!!! also +2 for having me look up brume and petrous

The mirth bleeds from his eyes. “No, I’m realistic. Something funny in the MacTavish line. Fucking dreamers, the two of you. Wanting things you can’t have.”

screeeaaaming

He wordlessly moves so you can slide the lemon bars into the heat. You inhale deeply, drinking in the tart citrus as a palate cleanser, and shut the door.

i find it interesting the sister is baking treats that are citrusy, the scent associated with relaxation 🍋

Still. It crowbars a smile out of you. Reminds you of Johnny.

crowbars a smile- 🥹🥹🥹 a whole movie scene in a single verb, mwah mwah sy need to re-up my infinite supply of chef's kisses that are running low because of this fic-

also the very subtle song and dance of the second story being told through their scent interactions is once again just 😘👌

“She’s just late.” “Like Soap, then.” Price‘s posture is confident and easy. He’s handling this better than the sergeant. “Better.”

aWWWW SIMON YOU BIG-ASS SOFTIE YOU Even in death, his sergeant’s a solid bridge. The foundation of a fucked up home.  A familiar blend of heather and rain draws his attention to the entrance. In his chest, something settles. “It’s what he would’ve wanted.”

the ending here made me cry MULTIPLE times but all I'll say here is that as someone freshly and unexpectedly grieving, I found this fic supremely confronting, cathartic, and now comforting to see a world where broken promises can still be kept even after death and loss in its own way can still be transformed as a gift, even when you're unused to gifting - and receiving.

i wanted to write something more poetic and eloquent to honor the writing but all i will end with here is that this was supremely unique and beautiful and it is truly not even one of the most unique a/b/o fics but but one of the best pieces of writing I've seen across my many fandoms over the years... a billion kudos to you sy for this, and a special extra kudo for helping me in its own small way to navigate grief in the last few months 🫂🌱

[princelance]

a movie........

time for a rant that has been a looong time coming because

the FUCK??? NOOOOOOOOOOOO PLEASE NO NO NO PLEASE GOD IF YOU'RE OUT THERE NEVER LET THIS MOVIE SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY NEVER EVEN MENTION THAT SHOW EVER AGAIN IN MY PRESENCE it should fucking DIE and stay DEAD

the WORST fandom i've ever come across/been part of. everyone was so fucking braindead. god the bullying here was So Bad. vld fandom was the epitome of 'you can't enjoy what you like'. and the bullies were like, some of the most popular blogs here. the content creators (among others ofc) here were NASTY. the people making decent art were so fucking rude to almost anyone that didn't bow down to them and agree with their views on the show, sitting on their high horse like they were fucking gods or something when they were like, 17 or something. mind u voltron was a show about ugly transformers lions and a bunch of kids in space meant for 7 YEAR OLDS. like stfu it's not deep, it's not important. i get that this is the internet i really do but apparently everyone was a pedo and homophobic and racist and needed to be cancelled because they weren't pure angels. i hope the people who liked the show, both teens and adults alike, have grown up and learnt what those words actually mean and why you shouldn't just casually throw them around. i hated you all. u had to be so careful about what you said on here, it was like north korea or something. i remember how kids got bullied into deleting their harmless fanfics, the fucking voice actors got bullied on a daily basis, it was BAD. i remember i got hate for having shiro as my icon and the background was the bi flag colours. I AM BI. also, so what if i had headcanoned shiro as bi, you couldn't have stopped me or anyone else from thinking that, and also IT WOULD NOT HAVE MATTERED, HE'S FICTIONAL, HE'S JUST LINES AND PIXELS. i know this is going to shatter some of your worlds (or at least would have back then), but a random ass nobody on tumblr headcanoning a character as bi when said character is "actually" straight/gay/whatever is NOT going to affect irl queer people in any way, it does NOT have real life consequences. who gives a fuck. since when has the fandom given a shit about canon anyway? fuck you.

okay, i've been bitching about the fandom enough (no i haven't, there's no way you can ever bitch about the vld fandom enough). what about the actual show? well. once again it's meant for 7 year olds. who cares if it was good or not. i've seen seasons 1–6. i liked season 1, didn't really like anything after that since the show seemed to change so much. the first season kind of has a different vibe completely? idk how to explain it, it just kind of feels like the actual show and then the rest was just a long fanfic by someone who was in love with keith's character. but since i was watching the show with my sister who was 10 at the time, it was fine, otherwise i wouldn't have kept watching after seeing season 2 i don't think.

here are a few negative things about the show imo:

making keith the main character out of nowhere after s1 (where he definitely wasn't the main focus) was so dumb. god the showrunners loved keith sooo much, it was so stupid. keith was nooot a leader. whatever.

making keith the black paladin was also so fucking stupid my god. and yes, everyone here wanting LANCE to become the black paladin just because he was the fandom favourite (don't get me wrong, he was my fave too) was so fucking braindead too honestly. shiro or allura. no one else made any sense.

canon allurance SUUUCKED. like holy shit that was so bad and horribly written, even lotor and allura had a better love story and had waaay more chemistry (and their relationship ended badly, rightfully so). and NO klance was never ever ever going to be canon, you were so delusional. like lmaooo did we even watch the same show? i just really enjoyed their dynamic and that's why i shipped them together, whatever. but yeah, like i said the bullying here was disgusting and everyone was cancelled, great, klance seemed to be the only thing you were allowed to like so in that sense i was lucky.

everything they did with allura in the later seasons............ you know what? i'm not even going to start. because wtfffffffff, as a storyteller myself i ?????? what in the world were they thinking. but yeah whatever it does not matter.

the point of this post is that EW EW EWWWW FUCK THAT SHOW AND FUCK YOU, if you were in the voltron fandom in 2017/2018 i personally hate you

[karlachismylife]

I woke up (was sleeping cuz I spent the night crying over fucking higher math, might go back to sleep for a little bit more cuz I don't wanna face the world and am still tired) and saw that my Russian words post was reblogged by a bunch more people I respect and look up to (that also happened in one previous wave of popularity that post gained a day or two ago). And like, first of all, I am intimidated by being perceived by people so way out of my league. Second, this definitely shows that there's a writing circle in this fandom of very talented writers and it's not that big. And while my ego definitely wants to somehow worm my way into that circle to be with the cool kids, I very much understand what a chasm separates my writing and their writing, so it makes me feel self-conscious about it again. Especially because I spent last days writing absolute silliness and all these people manage to write incredibly gripping, emotional and deep things. Like very psychological and smart and clever. And finally, I am a little scared to be seen on that scale and by some of those people, because they are so opinionated + well-spoken + have quite clear standpoints. And I am scared to be seen with my potentially problematic/bad/shallow character interpretations and very shallow texts. Cuz I won't be able to back it up substantially, won't be able to defend why I don't write deep enough/why I don't put in more effort/why I mischaracterize the characters so much. What if I actually wrote something problematic. I never intended to, but I might have just done not enough research and self-education. Or something. I don't know.

Obviously I am not actually visible on that scale, it's just one post with writing aid, none of my works reached those people. But what if. I am not smart, and I am immature, and I don't really have anything meaningful to offer. I am usually fine with this, like, I do believe there are also needed stories about raccoons being befriended through the power of cartoons and apple slices, or short fluff pieces with no plot other than two people loving each other and kissing. I am usually pretty comfortable in this niche.

But right now I just got such a strong wave if anxiety. And I know this is just a corner of the internet where no one even could name my full name and I have no chances of meeting any of you irl. But this is a place I want to belong to. I wanna be in the fandom, and I wanna be someone people know as, well, maybe the hyena CEO, or maybe as the fluff gorilla, or - my dream - as Karlach x Soap weirdo. Like. I wanna share what I have with people and be accepted. I feel so very grateful every time I get the feeling of being accepted from notifications, or messages, or asks, or anything. When people show interest and enjoy my things. I am anxious to lose it in case I turn out to be not good enough (which is the motto of my life). I'm pretty chill about being not good enough for many things, it's just facts and well, that's just me. But when it's about something I really really wanna be a part of, like the community here, this scares me, because this failure will hurt like a hundred others didn't.

I'm sorry for ranting, I might delete this later, I see the new asks guys and I will be trying to write something today, I just woke up and I'm a mess and it's not a real problem but it just made me cry for a moment. I'm okay, I'll be fine, I know I'm here to just enjoy myself and hope other people will too, so I'm not like going into hiding or anything. Just needed to say this, cuz whenever there's "fandom discourse" I am so scared I'm actually part of whatever problem people are discussing. And stuff. Yeah gonna go have a cup of tea and sleep a bit or at least lie down. I'm sweaty, temperature regulation is not a thing my body is good at, lmao.

Love you all so much, eternally grateful for all the love and attention I receive from you comrades. It feels incredible, today is just an anxious day.

[elbiotipo]

Someone in the notes on your post about food in fantasy mentioned connection between at least early modern production of sugar and colonialism and slavery, and while I 100% agree that it's something that should be known, I think that if you want to have lighthearted fantasy setting there are definitely ways to work around this.

Like sugar is also produced from sugar beet. I don't know could it be done without modern equipment (production started at the very end of 18th century so while industrial equipment was primitive it was), but like you may do something with it, like some wizards developing production technology.

In the same vein, crop exchange in the Old World was mostly peaceful, or at least it wasn't due to slavery. Like rice was already grown in Egypt in 1000 BCE and made its way to Spain by 7th century CE. Bananas were grown in Turkey by 15th century CE. And tons of agricultural goods come from West Asia both ways. What I am trying to say is that if your world has equivalent of Americas your Europeans* could have just acquired potatoes and corn without colonization (because they were more ethical than irl or because they didn't have resources for conquest or because American nations were strong enough to stop them). Like potatoes and such are just crops, sailors could have picked them as a supplies and then someone decided to grow them at home.

This is like a suggestion specifically if you want to have a world for costume drama without dealing with heavy themes. I would suggest describing it specifically to point that out, and I can't say that it's very politically aware but definitely not worse than "they just have it" or "yes there are overseas colonies but pay it no mind".

*Because that's usually the case in examples that are discussed, from what I heard East Asian fantasy set in East Asia also suffers from this for the same reason, but I didn't read enough of it to say

Let me say you make real good points and I broadly agree with you. I do think the history of colonialism and where our foods came from is important (I do research that so no doubt). And I also agree that sometimes, those themes are too difficult to board properly, especially in a lighthearted story.

However, in fiction, it's not so much that I want people to do more "clean" ways of getting those crops. Many people told me "well, what if they get it through trade, or what if they got it through magical portals and such" my point is not that you find a "colonialist free" way to have potatoes in your setting, my point is that every crop in real life has a history behind them, and when you place them in your setting, I think you should consider that. Not only because you will learn about real life and its history, but also because of the storytelling potential.

I mean, I do have "worldbuilding fundamentalist" in my bio, and I think even if you don't sketch the entire world, you should at least know where your heroes are. Much of modern fantasy loves to adopt the "medieval" aesthetic, while in fact presenting a world with widespread trade, urbanization, a growing artisan class, etc. (I've done a longer rant about it here). Those things aren't just aesthetic choices, they are different societies that have different dynamics and they do affect the kind of plots and characters you might make on them.

I don't think fantasy should shy away from exploring themes such as imperialism and colonialism, trade and politics, intercultural contact and social change. One reason why I'm so insistent with the theme of crops and trade is that it's because it's emblematic of those issues. Sure, you don't want to explain the potatoes or chocolate in your setting, whatever. Don't you WANT to, though? Don't you want to explore beyond the pseudo-medieval aesthetic, and explore what an American or African -inspired setting might look like? Of course, you could and should also make your own new settings, but exploring actual history, geography, biology (at the broadest term, natural history) will make you a better worldbuilder and a better writer, AND also let you learn more about the world.

Sorry if this rant is a bit unfocused, just woke up from a nap after some wine, but this is why I'm so insistent with the stories that can arise just by considering the crops in your setting. Imagine what else can you write.

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

i just need to happily ramble about irl friends who care when i'm not doing very well mentally. i'm not nearly as talkative in real life as i am here, and the fact that my college friend group accepts that means so much to me. the fact that they want me around is always a pleasant surprise. that i'm no longer in friendships where i'm the only one that ever reaches out first. the fact they'll call out to me in the corridor, they'll sometimes text me first. the fact they actually notice when i'm absent. one of them is content just ranting to me about various things and he loves being the main speaker in the conversation. doesn't mind that i'm often unsure what to reply and he laughs when i do occasionally manage to crack a joke. he remembers the names of things i like. another friend asked me to tell her about the story of one of the games i play. one of my friends has been so lovely and sweet about the fact that i've been lethargic from insomnia keeping me up half the night. i've accidentally fallen asleep on the bus next to her a few times and she wakes me at my stop. today, i was mortified to find i'd actually been leaning on her a little when i'd drifted off. she was surprised at my apology and offered her shoulder still. people are really so kind

[my-castles-crumbling]

Greece anon here

Thank you for what you said about the eras tour rant I went on, it's really helped to calm some of my nerves.

Also good news! We didn't sell the tickets to strangers but to someone my mum works with and they will probably be able to grab the merch we want when they go to their show if we give them money for them so I probably won't have to worry about merch lines at all which is good. But if the lines are short when we go we might go anyway just to see what's left yk.

I have got the loop experience 2 earplugs because I saw a bunch of people recommending them but I'm really scared I'll be able to hear my voice really loudly in my head. I'll see when I get there whether the noise is bad enough to have to wear them.

It is almost only 10 days away and i am freaking out!!!! There is no way I am seeing Taylor swift in 10 days that's not real. She's literally my favourite person in the world and I'm going to see her in real life I am so EXCITED!!!!!!!!!

How did you organise your bracelets? I want to put the ones I get from other people on my wrists and keep the ones I've made separate but I just found out that wembley don't allow metal carabiners inside so I am trying to come up with a new way to hold them. My bag has a bunch of compartments (because I like to organise) so I might just have them loose in one of the big compartments lol

I'm going out with my friends on Wednesday (including the one I'm going to the eras tour with) and I'm going to be yapping about it so much they're going to be sick of me but I don't care because I'M GOING TO THE ERAS TOUR!!!!

I'm trying to get everything that I need to get done over summer break done before my show so after I can just lay and think "oh my god that was amazing I'm so sad it's over" but I tried to open the book I have to read yesterday and I just kind of stared at it for a while, not a lot of reading happened... But I opened it!!! And that counts as progress 😌

I'm so happy I'm actually going to the eras tour!

I got my tickets over a year ago (11th July 2023) and I have been waiting so patiently I can hardly control myself anymore. Like on the 16th August I am going to be AT THE ERAS TOUR!!!!! it's crazy I can't believe it. I watch a livestream of every single show (yes, every. Single. One. I know it's excessive but I just love it so much) and soon it will be MY show. I have seen it through over 100 grainy livestreams at like 2am and during classes and MY SHOW is so close I am so excited I could throw up, my stomach hurts if I think about it for too long.

This was long and it was mostly me rambling but once I get talking about it it's hard for me to stop so sorry but hey it could have been worse! How are you? I hope you're doing well, summer sucks sometimes cause of the heat but sometimes it's great, and I hope it's going great for you!

Hi!!! Ahhh, I'm so excited for you! You have to update me on how it goes, okay?

I organized my bracelets where I had my inappropriate ones on one arm and my g-rated ones on the other lol. Because I knew kids would be there. TBH my biggest regret of the show was that I didn't trade a lot though! I'm super socially awkward irl so I was scared to go up to people, so I only got a few trades done, so don't do what I did! Luckily when I went to the movie later on I was braver, but I still have like ten of my own bracelets left :(

I'm doing pretty good, my summer is going well! I can't wait to hear about how amazing your show is! <3

[silverview]

hI it just clocked for me that you wrote that tlw smut fic - absolutely loved it btw 👏🏼 ngl i'm just as fascinated about this episode as you are, and am honestly *obsessed* with your thoughts on it so please Tell Me More 👀

aahh thank you so much!!! i'm so glad you liked it!! 🥰 (for anyone who might be interested, my the last weekend fic is here, but obviously it's pretty dark so PLEASE read the warnings)

thank you for the opportunity to rant some more. i hope i'm coherent. if you have any thoughts yourself i would LOVE to hear them too!! and pls feel free to dm me any time about this or any other episode! (this goes for anyone, my dms are open, i am very friendly and i live to yap about shows)

actually, to talk more about tlw, i need to talk more about its similarity to simon says. at their cores, they are both interrogating what creators owe to fans, and they are both horror stories about what your fans might do to you if you disappoint them. if your work doesn’t please them, if you hurt their feelings online – what will the fans do? will they weave an elaborate web of lies around you, ruin your life, and trick/coerce you into sex? in these episodes they will!

nobody talks about how chas's punishment is in kind. i don't mean the nine years. i mean the specific nature of the punishment, the tables turned against him. "loving someone who hated you." he failed to honour the parasocial contract with his fans, and so he is subjected to the ultimate parasocial rejection. manipulated into caring deeply for someone, believing in a real mutual emotional connection, only to discover it was just a facade. that the person he loved never even said i love you back.

it's a dark revenge fantasy for the fan who's had (for example...) their tv comedian crush be a little mean to them on twitter. a nightmare for the tv comedian in question. i think, consciously or unconsciously, it's a very personal story for them and especially for reece, who is on the receiving end of a lot more obsessive fan behaviour and understandably has a much stronger reaction to it.

i mean, who's really being queerbaited in tlw? not the viewers, not in the traditional sense. chas is being irl queerbaited to death. some people say the deception was too obvious – that he shouldn't have accepted only seeing his partner on weekends, for example. but the humiliation of being easily deceived, of accepting scraps, is important to the punishment. like 🤡 when you let a showrunner transparently string you along.

a little over seven years ago, i sent some fanmail to one of my favourite creators, and we started dating. we are still happily together now, and i am still a fan. but the transition was hard. we self-aware parasociality enjoyers like to think we have things in perspective – that we know we're just projecting and we actually have no idea about the real, flawed human being who exists in private. but knowing that intellectually and being confronted with the reality of it are two very different things. creators and their fans, regardless of positive intentions or demographic similarity or anything else, inherently approach each other with different mindsets which inevitably create discomfort for one or both parties. it's a really interesting and fertile kind of dynamic and i think tlw and simon says are both fascinating explorations in that space.

i think simon says is reasonably authentic and respectful to the fan perspective (never forget they did enough research to drop their own ship name in the podcast about it 🫠) but i see it as a major oversight that simon's reaction to the mention of fanfiction is to say dismissively, "no, it's more sophisticated than that." my partner – who seven years ago would have been confused by or dismissive of this sort of fan culture, but who has learned a lot by living with me – turned to me and said, "a real fan wouldn't say that."

i don't have a neat segue here, i just have one more dumb thing i wanna add about tlw, i'm crazy about this comment from someone on reddit:

he is a prettyboy!! a very pretty boy!! 🥰 but here it's clearly being used as a euphemism for slutty, which i love. oh chas. you poor little pretty monster. you will always be famous. i wonder if reece would be more comfortable with his own attractiveness if he was handsome instead of pretty.

[acacia-may]

Let’s pour some salt together, Acacia~!/lh 💖

If it’s not too much trouble, can I ask #7 generally, #10 for Fairy Tail and Black Clover, and finally #25 for Demon Slayer?

It’s several questions and a bit all over the pl s so I hope you don’t mind… 😅

Cheers, Erika! 🥂 Thanks for the chance to get a little bit salty about so many different things! ^^

Necessary disclaimer above the cut: These are just my own personal opinions based on my personal tastes, perceptions, and feelings regarding the series, stories, and characters and their relationships. I genuinely have the utmost respect and absolutely no ill will towards anyone who has a different opinion than me. In fact, I have always said that one of the greatest things about fandom is that we can all experience and perceive these amazing stories and characters in very different ways but still love them. Even some of my dearest fandom friends enjoy different pairings than me or see our shared favorite characters in wildly different ways than I do. I personally find it very rewarding to have respectful conversations about our differences of opinion, and I hope that my opinions will also be respected. Also, I don't vibe with just mindless bashing things, so even though this is about to get very salty and a little snarky, I'll try to keep it respectful and all in good fun. I am not tagging anything and am hiding my thoughts under the cut so you all don't have to be subjected to my hot takes and "Salty Acacia," if you don't want.

MAJOR Spoilers for Demon Slayer below the cut. You've been warned.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

ATTACK ON TITAN/SNK. My sister says I need a swear jar because I can just rant for hours about how I was just so personally, viscerally disappointed with how that series ended (made all the worse because I had several years of investment in it). As a disclaimer, I still like my favorite characters and the side story "No Regrets" will always be **Chef's Kiss** but yeah...you could not pay me to watch or read it ever again.

But again, disclaimer, that's just me. It's my cousin's favorite anime of all time, and he loved the ending. Everyone's different.

As for anything else from fandoms I actually talk about...I'm not sure there is anything. Like everyone with an online presence, I have definitely been disturbed, appalled, and otherwise very upset by things I've seen on the internet, but that's what the block button is for (and I know it's all peace, love, & good vibes around here, but I block aggressively, actively, and unapologetically when the situation warrants it). As a general rule though, I try not to let what other people think get to me and ruin the things I love, and in that way, I don't think I have ever had a situation where something was just completely 100% ruined for me by a terrible fic, toxic fandom, or anon hatred ect. ect. I have certainly distanced myself from certain pairings and certain fandoms because of that, but I wouldn't say any of them have ever reached the level of "I can't stand it now." If anything, I sometimes feel a little contrary and dig my heels in on that thing in a petty revenge, "Well in that case, I'll just like this more" kind of way, if that makes sense?

All of that said, I have no patience for nasty, toxic fandom environments, and I stay away from those even if it's a media I really like i.e. you mentioned MHA in one of your salty asks...I wrote my one platonic friendship fic and got the hell outta there (nothing bad happened to me but it just wasn't worth it to take any chances). But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy it in real life and sometimes talk about it with my sisters and irl friends. I just don't want to discuss it online. It's not worth the headache & drama.

I definitely get fandom fatigue sometimes where the aggressiveness and toxicity of the fans of a certain pairing or character I already don't like just intensifies my dislike for that thing. But that's really only ever happened with things I already don't like or don't have an opinion on at all, which I don't think that really fits the prompt here.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

Fairy Tail: The anime-only Celestial Spirit Arc by a landslide. It was so boring and had so many pacing issues. I literally fell asleep during it and didn't even both going back. I'm also super bitter towards that arc because my sister got so bored during it that she quit the anime (right before getting the best arc Tartaros). I keep begging her to pick it up again and just skip the stupid Celestial Spirit Arc but she swears she is a completionist and would never be able to do it. So yeah. Can't stand that one! The only positive thing I could remotely say about it was that Levy on the game show was kind of entertaining, but overall the whole arc was kind of just like a boring bizarre dream I'd like to forget about.

For arcs that appeared in both the anime and manga, I really didn't like that flute arc (which a google search has informed me is actually called the "Eisenwald Arc"). I'm glad we got Gray and Erza introduced as characters, but the arc had a lot of pacing issues and just went on for way too way, imo. They could've wrapped things up a lot faster, also I just didn't get the whole "evil flute" thing--it was really random and kind of bizarre (also not the most well thought out plan in the world). I will say this arc gets more points than the Celestial Spirit Arc because my sister and I had so much fun making Kokushibo flute jokes.

Black Clover: Gotta go with the anime only arc here too because again, it was boring and didn't have a lot of bearing on the series as a whole. It also felt like a major let down after the high stakes of the Elf Arc. Honestly just not a fan of that one.

If I had to pick a manga arc...uh...I honestly don't know. Maybe the Sosshi village arc? But only because I thought it was better in the anime where they really took the time to flesh out Magna's backstory. It felt more rushed in the manga, but I don't dislike it as much as that anime only one.

If I can pick a character arc, freaking FINRAL'S!! Like what happened here?! It was so, so good...until it wasn't. I JUST CAN'T WITH THE AMOUNT OF REGRESSION. It makes me want to beat my head against the wall even more than he is! But I think this was about story arcs, not characters arc so I'll refrain from ranting here.

25. Would you change the ending of Demon Slayer?

This is kind of a complicated one. My sister and I were just talking about this because she feels there was too much character death, but I feel it was a justified and appropriate amount for the high stakes of the series (even if it was devastating). So for the sake of this discussion, let's assume that the author had a "character death quota" (or a set number of characters who were going to be killed off by the end of the series). If that was the case, I would have axed Uzui at the end of the Entertainment District Arc and saved Genya in the final arc.

If there was a believable/reasonable way that Muichiro could have gone into god-mode and defeated Kokushibo without dying, I would have saved him too, having Uzui take his "death slot." Then I would have saved Genya by having Sanemi die to protect him (which would have been a much more satisfying ending to his arc, in my opinion).

As sad as the other deaths were (*weeps about ObaMitsu*) Muichiro and Genya were children. While it's realistic for them to die, it's especially tragic, and if I got to rewrite the ending, I would prioritize saving them.

Though to be perfectly fair, I would have been much happier with the ending if Uzui had died in the Entertainment District Arc and any of our heroes who died in the final battle survived instead. I'll forever be salty that Uzui of all people somehow managed to survive to the end when so many others did not, especially since his arc had already wrapped up and him dying in the Entertainment District would have been a satisfying conclusion to his story whereas so many other characters who did get axed had storylines that felt unfinished (Genya especially).

Also, Himejima should have played the flute at Kokushibo causing him to lose his cool in the infinity castle so much faster. I'm really upset this didn't happen. (Kidding but I would’ve loved to see him just go completely unhinged over the flute. I make way too many Kokushibo flute jokes…)

[thedvilsinthedetails]

Just a rant

no tws ig

I fucking hate tumblr

I hate it. I hate how my life revolves around a trashy site with a piece of shit CEO. I hate the way I can’t not check it because my life has always revolved around people who don’t give a shit about me except now it’s 

people online as well as people in real life.

I hate how obsessed I am over how many notes every post of mine gets, whether it gets any reblogs, any comments or whatever the fuck - any interaction. It’s not because I want to be famous or anything, just because I want to believe that someone fucking cares what I have to say, someone actually finds me interesting because goddamnit I KNOW that 90% of the things I say in real life are crappy and stupid and generally unimportant. 

I hate everything except my friends on here [obviously] 

Most of all I hate how this is all my fucking fault because slowly but surely I’ve managed to turn the thing I used to escape from everything that holds me back irl into all those things except fucking amplified. 

This is just another thing I’ve managed to wreck - proving once and for all that I am, in fact, the problem. 

[deepfriedpaddymayne]

i feel like augustin was making paddy's storyline a bit less bleak than it was historically and i was looking forward to seeing what they would do with them in s2. well, i guess joke's on us for getting attached to a frenchman...

I put off answering this ask because I KNEW that the moment I did I would start rambling and it sounds like that time has come so I am sorry in advance my friend

But, yeah, you've hit the nail on the head. Part of my attachment to having Augustin in s2, and to Augustin and Paddy, is specifically the fact that I just would really, REALLY like for Paddy to heal. I know that historical Paddy Mayne never really recovered from Eoin McGonigal's death, but they have taken other narrative liberties with the show and characters, and also, and this is kinda snarky, I just don't think that makes for a very interesting storyline to watch? Obviously grief in real life CAN be, and often is, like that, but when you are watching a show, you don't wanna sit through a character stuck in the same loop of grief for four seasons. Especially because (1)this show is not a tragedy. Yes, tragic things happen, but an important element of tragedy is the futility of the characters' actions to prevent the tragedy from happening. While this story STARTS with a tragedy, that first jump that doomed so many of them, we know that it won't END that way, because we know that most of these men will live, and more importantly, we know that their actions are not futile. With that in mind, the idea of Paddy's ending being him alone with his grief doesn't really sit well with me. Also because, (2) it's not like it would be hard to showcase that a part of Paddy will forever be defined by the loss of Eoin, while still giving him a healing process and a happier ending than he got to have IRL (there is a whole other rant here about how queer people engage with historical fiction and especially biographical historical fiction, which I actually wrote a wholeass essay about a few years ago lmao. Anyway).

And at least for me, it's important that part of that healing process DOES involve him having a romantic relationship again (I would be fine with it being just implied, the way it was with Eoin, though I would prefer it if it wasn't, because if Stirling gets to fuck his made up girlfriend in the sand, then Paddy should be allowed to kiss a man, but I digress). And the reason for that is that... ok, let's talk about Eoin. We actually know SO little about Eoin. There are hints here and there, but Eoin's main role within the story is loving Paddy (and also dying. And haunting the narrative). Which is fascinating, because I feel like while Paddy is casual about it, he does have a bit of a Thing about being unlovable and unlikeable - he tries to own up to it, but he slips a few times, like when he remarks that he will go to Stirling's funeral because Stirling liked him, FOR SOME REASON, and also his general deer-caught-in-headlights look when Eoin offers him affection, like he can't quite believe it's happening. Which is partly why the loss of Eoin hits SO hard - because Eoin loved him, in spite of everything about him, Eoin loved him so much that it was his main defining trait. And I fully believe that once he died, Paddy also saw that as losing the only chance he was ever going to get at love, because who else could ever love him, when he has the heart's invisible furies within him?

And THAT'S when Augustin enters. He meets Paddy at his absolute worst, he watches him try to prove to him how ~fucked up and terrible~ he is...  and he is immediately delighted. Like, yes, Paddy and Augustin drive each other up the wall IMMEDIATELY, but also Augustin likes him SO MUCH. My man watched Paddy try to shoot himself in front of him to prove a point, after manhandling him into the sand and holding a knife to his throat, and then was like omg girlllll are you single? Yes and that's why you are like this? Oh I am sorry but also good to know. AND THEN HE WATCHED HIM ATTACK HIS FRIENDS BECAUSE OF A FUCKING PIANO and was still just so happy and charmed when Paddy's way of apologising was cooking them a gazelle and suffering NO consequences. Like GOD he was down SO bad SO quickly, and that was after seeing the absolute WORST of Paddy, and sure, that's because Augustin is also insane, but so is Paddy, so they'd be great together. And I think that would have been so meaningful, for Augustin to grab Paddy's cheeks and squeeze them and go, "FUCK YOU, I AM GOING TO LOVE YOU, WITH ALL THE DEMONS". Can you imagine? What it would be like for Paddy, who thinks he's never going to be loved again, to have someone who doesn't just love him in spite of the warning signs, but because of them?

The way I see it, with Augustin out of the picture, there are two possible routes the show can take. The first is remaining closer to history, probably giving him some sort of healing process that involves his community but without a romance, accepting that Paddy's chances at romantic love really did die with Eoin. Which would be, like, fine, but I have already explained why I don't love it. Or, they give Paddy a different romance, but the thing is that I sincerely doubt they are gonna be able to manage something that's as interesting as whatever Paddy and Augustin have got going on - they've really captured such a unique, fascinating dynamic, and I don't think they could replicate it with a different character. Similarly, the new character would either not experience Paddy at his worst, which makes the romance less meaningful imo, or they would just have to make Paddy regress to episode 5 levels of insanity again, which would not be especially interesting to watch, since WE HAVE ALREADY SEEN IT.

so, yeah. tbh I am just going to put on my clown nose and large shoes and bright coloured wig and hope that we get Augustin back for s3, cause I do genuinely think he is the best character progression possible for Paddy. and also because I want my insane frenchman back goddamnit

[0pawprint0]

Fickle Fandom

Warning: crass language (I have no filter)

I need to rant about something I’ve noticed. Unfortunately, I deal with a person like those I’m about to talk about in real life and it’s not fun. This essay/rant is extremely informal and just me getting my thoughts out there, so please excuse the text talk, slang, shortcuts, etc. I am also very tired when typing this, so please cut me some slack if I don’t say what I’m wanting to in the most eloquent way!

I’m sure a lot of people have noticed that fandom spaces have become incredibly toxic. What used to be a fun place for weirdos (/pos) to feel safe and accepted is now being torn to shreds by people who can’t stand others having fun. TikTok is a great example of how a safe place for fandom behavior quickly became a cesspit of negativity. This post mostly focuses on cosplay. TikTok was basically built on cosplay. That used to be the main thing you’d find on the app! As more and more people started using it, it started to have different kinds of content, and now cosplay tends to get shoved down in favor of something more appealing to a wider demographic. Unfortunately, this means a lot of mean-spirited people have too much to say about a community they are not even part of.

The hate for cosplayers is unreal. Cosplayers aren’t doing anything wrong. We are dressing up as characters for fun. It is not hurting you. If you see something you don’t want to see, it is not hard to swipe past it. Ignore it. Interacting with it will ensure more content like it will reach your fyp. But some people just want to be mean and love the chance to get to do so. People make fun of cosplayers now like it’s their job. They insult them and throw fits like toddlers the moment they see them. Most hate for cosplayers is rooted in ableism, by the way! Fun fact! The word "cringey" has been twisted by sad people to target neurodivergent individuals. Many cosplayers (not all, but many) are neurodivergent. Many cosplayers are lgbt+, too. And you bet homophobia and transphobia is rampant in fandom spaces, too!

The hate doesn’t stop at people who don’t have nerdy interests, either. Oh no. Even people from fandoms are rude towards cosplayers! People will complain about "cringey" cosplayers "ruining" fandoms. Spoiler alert: there are cosplayers in every fandom. Kindly, get over it. People enjoy their fandoms in different ways! Some people write fanfiction and draw fanart, some consume fanfiction and fanart, some only interact with the original media, and some cosplay. All are valid ways to enjoy it! Hating on others for how they interact with their fandom is ridiculous, to say the least. The people ruining fandoms are the ones who can’t stand seeing others have fun. I’m sorry your life is so boring you can’t stand seeing others being creative and having a good time. However, that doesn’t give you the excuse to be a dickhead. Policing how someone expresses their love of something is not cool. Anyone who does this is actually a pathetic little weenie.

Let me get into my personal experience! Remember how I mentioned I have someone like this irl? Let me tell you about the interaction that spurred this rant! I am preparing for a con at this very moment. This weekend! Some context here: I am a cosplayer. I have been doing it for years and it’s a hobby that I love and don’t plan on giving up on anytime soon. I am also someone who is very inspired by drag and I enjoy doing my makeup inspired by cartoons and drag queens. This person absolutely cannot stand it when I decide to even put on a little makeup for the heck of it. Oops, I’m also someone who does my makeup occasionally outside of cosplay! The incognito nerd saw me carrying some of my makeup to my bag and stopped me to go, "You’re not gonna dress like a CLOWN, are you?" This could be taken literally, but I’m pretty sure it was meant to be an insult. This person insults my makeup often, claiming I don’t do it right (there is no right way to do makeup, btw). They also generally insult the way I dress. I told them no, but why would it matter?

"Because it’s embarrassing! Don’t embarrass me!" Babe, YOU embarrass ME tbh! I literally told them straight up, "This place is going to be filled with cosplayers and people like me. I don’t know what to tell you." If you are someone who gets embarrassed of cosplayers, a con probably isn’t the place for you. What used to be a safe space for cosplayers is now overrun by people who don’t know how to have fun. I should not have to worry about being harassed and made fun of at a place where people like me are supposed to thrive. Please, loosen the stick in your asshole ever so slightly so you can see that cons are meant to be fun! If you’re easily overloaded by "cringey" stuff, please stay home. You sour the mood and suck the life of everyone around you. Okay, sponge mop?

I can’t even get into how some other cosplayers treat cosplayers. That is a whole other can of worms I simply cannot get into right now. We will be here all night. Cosplay is not a clout contest. It is not about who is most accurate to the character. Cosplay is supposed to be FUN! And it is for everyone! No one is too old to cosplay. No one is too fat to cosplay. No one is too skinny to cosplay. No one should feel restricted because of skin color. No one should feel restricted because of gender. No one should feel restricted because of money. No one should feel bad about cosplaying, ever. People can stylize characters. People can make closet cosplays. Cosplay is for everyone. If I see any more cosplayers bringing other cosplayers down, I’m gonna lose it.

My point is, fandom spaces aren’t as fun as they used to be. I miss when I could walk into a con with a barely recognizable Juuzou Suzuya cosplay and still get complimented for trying (real experience! Those cosplayers were so kind!). I miss when I didn’t feel like I’d be judged for entering a space I should feel safe in. I miss when I could drag up my cosplay as much as I want without someone telling me the makeup is too much. I miss when fandom spaces were fun. If you can’t handle fandom activity in a fandom space, you should reflect on why you don’t like it. Most likely, it’s jealousy others can enjoy themselves so freely. Let others have fun. Just because you’re miserable doesn’t mean everyone else has to be.

[s0lace-1n-s0l1tude]

So, I've wanted to talk about this for a while now

But it's crazy how insufferable some of the people that got into classic literature thanks to social media and/or Bungou Stray Dogs (don't tell me it was thanks to Bungou to Alchemist,I know you got into it because of bsd,don't worry,me too) can be

I saw a lot of people say things along the lines of "he's just like me fr" or "i'm just like them fr"while talking about the author

Be for real,are you really?

While you may relate to the same issues or at least some of them,as much as they might be "just like you fr," huge chances are they were not

They were living,breathing people too at some point, and people are way more complex than that, and no one is actually identical

The best example I have at the moment are "Dazai kinnies" but not the Bsd one(bsd dazai kinnie here),the irl one

You might kin characters but not the authors

I understand Oba kinnies,because while he is very similar to Dazai,he is still different and fictional

And this isn't an attack to people that kin this kind of characters,we all have our own issues, and I wish you the best

Kinning a character is fine,no matter what level of kinship you feel

You might not kin a character on every aspect, and that's fine,it doesn't mean that you're a "fake kinnie" or something

(I also need to specify that I am part of the people that got into that kind of literature through social media, and there's nothing wrong with that,as long as you're respectful)

Now let's hop on to the next subject of this rant

Now,I feel the need to state that this is my opinion

In my opinion,bsd isn't that disrespectful

Because the characters aren't meant to accurately represent the real authors

I'm pretty sure that at no point did Asagiri state that they were supposed to

Sure,they have some similarities and some are enhanced (for example,how Dazai's suicidal tendencies are mostly treated as a joke throughout the show but at the same time, are dealt with very seriously,especially in the novels) but they are also vastly different from their real life counterparts

But I'm bad at explainations anyways

So,thanks for coming to my TED talk, I guess

[dirtyoldmanhole]

real dweeby navel gazing time

i think one of the reasons i am having genuinely, so much fun with this gunter slowburn fanfic despite sitting at a literal 53k words rn and with it probably being close to 90k all said and done, is it's ... writing the ship i see myself in the most by far on both sides.

like, ever.

this shit is the rawest most honest shit i've ever written.

i've talked a little bit about how corrin's memory wipe stuff is literally a 1:1 to my anesthesia/childhood surgery/physical therapy conga line of bullshit. even aside from the helpful textual 'here's how this works from a medical event standpoint' there's the 'here's the emotional scars that it will leave because yes it is a bodily/mind violation of a sense, over and over, and jesus all of this of this stuff goes so well thematically to the straight up fantasy bullshit of nohr with the underpinning of being hyper-aware to the themes of "power" "use" "what it takes to survive by emotionally dragging yourself through a minefield" etc. stuff i've been ruminating over since being conscious lol.

then my body's so whack from a physical joint perspective that there's also almost word for word conversations from gunter's side that i've had with my gf about how to navigate certian shit from a kink perspective but also like... how to maintain dignity when your body's kinda physically crapping out on you due to the march of time.... without loosing the sexytimes u know?

the concept of dignity in the face of being broken is a huge theme in this fic that gets echoed. very poignant for reasons you fates players know.

amusingly there's a scene near the end where corrin's helping him to shave after his stroke. (in one of fate's "clearly having a giggle at my expense" coincidences i've been in contact lately irl with somebody who's also gone through a stroke and man is it not easy) and it's this kind of perfect blend of she's helping him, technically, with something that could just be... god awful self loathing brainspace wise for him but it turns into this amazingly hot kink scene with some serious sizzling power exchange.

the dream, man!

there is a real thin line between being able to laugh at yourself *while* keeping that dignity to pointedly.... having to not look in the mirror some days. desire and shame being some real fucked up entangled wires too, in that sense.

the tumblr uwu approved discussions re: tricky medical/'my body is crapping out on me man and i can't hide it'/kink shit and having to be ~valid~ all the time gives me the hiiiiiveeeees man (and i'm not knocking it for other people, i know why it exists, but it sends my hackles up u feel).

and yet this fic still feels like, hot, in the fun sense.

there's enough fun whacko fantasy taboo elements in it that it doesn't feel .... oh no this ain't sexy this is Too Real, you feel, or too much like a trauma fic(tm)

there's the sexy yandere villain ossan (lol), corrin herself has one hell of a sex drive (and honestly that's yet another huge focus, that wish fufillment fantasy of this 'pure fragile princess chick that's fought over like a prize by everyone else' who gets to choose 'no i actually want the hot villain kthx'. she actually rants to him several times about being fought over and having everyone else from nohr/hoshido project all the shit on her.

(and him being all, I got you, I get it.)

he actually does!!!! that's the funniest darkest most ironic thing!! he's got that weird blend of being aware enough from a kink perspective and just 'went through enough shit' life perspective of why sometimes the most sacred, profound thing you can do for somebody is to break them when they ask for it. sometimes in the dark u just want the brain wires to go bzzt.

there is a weird as hell comraderie in the sense of facing very specific demons that only they have (which, again, hilariously, goes so well with the themes of revelation! invisible enemies/demons that only you two know about.)

and then i have like yet another essay in me about how literally every character i've RP'ed is a suspiciously similar to his whole... archetype.... like all of my RP partners have gravitated to playing the chicks in the het relationships and i've always RP'd the snarky older guy going through life snarking at shit and being a closet misanthrope (there's probably some presentation/gender-aligned stuff going there but this is already navel gazey as hell lol)

anyway

tl;dr i haz feelz

[3416]

i’m another new leafs fan, and wanted to say how much i enjoy your commentary :)

it’s been disappointing to see all the hate from proclaimed fans after their exit. do you have any thoughts about how sports (historically) have a predominantly male fan base, and how that contributes to the negativity?

anyway, just wanted to say thank you for posting and sharing your thoughts :)💗

fjlksjfkls it truly warms me that anyone cares enough about what i have to say to check my blog, but thank you for the sweet words 😭🫶 hope you're enjoying the leafs.

those same people hating will be back in october (or just stay all summer and simmer over their fake trade proposals) and then proclaim they're in a toxic relationship with their sports team instead of just taking responsibility for their own life and doing something that makes them ACTUALLY happy, but i digress. i think a lot of these men are loners who don't get the social interaction irl and have gravitated online, and i can't even talk shit about THAT aspect of it bc here i am too lol, but also. like. they never seemed to learn to regulate their emotions about things. it's one thing to be so invested that you get upset when your team loses, but like... they're not attached to the team conceptually or any of the players in the same way a lot of the time, so i don't understand what they ARE attached to. they're chasing sentimentality from their youth or community of rooting for your local teams, but it SEEMS like they're miserable doing it and just don't know how to escape the cycle of it, and that's something i will never understand. i've gone through PLENTY of obsessions and hyperfixations over the years, and when things start to negatively impact my life, i have to actively step back and fall out of it or remind myself there's a real life. like you don't earn moral points for sticking through something that makes you miserable so you can say you've always been a real fan. no one gives a shit if you've been there 30 years or 30 seconds. some of these people don't know how to remove themselves from it though... and maybe i care too much about the negativity myself, but it really does just seem to take over the spaces i inhabited all year just fine. i'll take a break in a bit and get back to optimism but lol

in the end, no i don't have some grand thesis. it's all the same takes i assume men who care intensely irl and yell at clouds just put to the internet instead to find common ground with other shitheads, but they seem to think THEY'RE the majority, which is hilarious. i think the majority of fans are probably casual fans in the gta and ontario in general and don't hold opinions as intensely negative as they do, but who knows... what i DO know is that all the women i've met through sports enjoy it in a much more fun and hilarious way than most men so ljdlsfjklsf. being able to prioritize fun over just WINNING (esp when u dont care.. abt the individual players themselves like? what do u even want them to win for???? what is motivating u.. i don't understand men lmao) makes for a way better time and a healthier fandom. anywya, thanks for giving me yet more opportunities to rant here, LOL.

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

For the DCA fandom ask game: 5, 9, 19, 20?

(gonna link the post here in case anyone wants to see it)

5.)if you make content, what's your favorite piece you've contributed?

I don't actually make a lot of stuff in general, mostly just small doodles and aus. Favorite au would probably be my witch au just cuz I've expanded on it more, but truman show au would be up there if I actually talked about it as much as I think about it (the ranking would be witch au, truman show au, winnie the pooh au, narnia au, dentist au)...If we're talking about doodles, though, that changes every time I draw something new cuz I kinda like seeing how different my art comes out every time-my favorites are the things I draw for moots, cuz I like reading their reactions and how happy it makes them, which is why I try to draw stuff to show how much I appreciate their hard work and wonderful ideas!

9.)what do you think of the dca's canon appearance? Scary? Cute? Something else?

I think it's really interesting-wouldn't call it cute and it isn't really scary, but I just love their designs and how creative they are-it's also really neat to see how the fandom interprets their designs as well, because if you look a lot of people have their own spin on it and it's so fascinating to see people's individual renditions of them.

(also would 100% hug and snuggle with because they're just so silly)

19.)do you think you'd actually get along with the dca if you met them irl?

Nope, absolutely not; chances are they'd immediately hate my guts. I am kind of a prickly person in real life to people I don't know well (which is kinda dumb considering the fact that to get to know someone you have to have not known them at some point but i dunno my brain is weird), plus I change personalities and demeanor every time I talk to someone different-I can be really introverted to one person, loud with another, sarcastic and cynical, optimistic and humorous, etc etc. also I tend to accidentally be a lil too brutally honest about what I think about people or try to analyze them a little too deeply, which would probably mean me calling sun n'moon out for all their issues in the first two weeks...not really a good idea-and that's not to mention the very loud very abrupt rants about philosophy or history or sciences or random facts or literally anything under the sun, which most people tend to find a bit strange. So yea, I'd probably be kicked out of the daycare pretty fast.

20.)free space! talk about whatever's on your mind!

the urge to create a self-insert for myself to actually envision the situations in my head is so strong but I lack the capability to actually draw myself properly so we're just stickin with the 2 ft tall sona for now till i can make something and shove it into gitm and other ideas