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roosterforme · 1 year ago

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Adult Education Part 8 | Hangman x OC

Summary: Plans for the fraternity alumni fundraiser that Jessica is in charge of are starting to take shape. And things with Jake are starting to heat up. But even after she tries her best to take care of her students in her own way, she feels like she will never be successful at this college.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, swearing, smutty thigh riding, 18+

Length: 5200 words

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Female OC

This story is part of the Beer Boy and Sugar universe but can be read on its own! Adult Education masterlist

Seriously, who let Jake on my masterlist!? Banner by @mak-32

Jessica settled down in the spare seat in her friend's office with her slightly stale peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a notebook. "Wait, say that again. Beer pong with micro brewed beer? Come on, Advanced Calculus. Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of the frat boy vibe?" she asked with her pencil poised over the paper.

The other woman laughed as she ate the turkey and avocado roll ups that her husband packed for her gorgeous looking lunch. Jessica would have had some of Jake's chili to bring except that she finished all of it on Sunday and Monday while she texted him about how good it was.

"It would be an elevated frat boy vibe. I spent the weekend asking my husband what he would want out of an alumni event with his fraternity, and he came up with some pretty compelling ideas."

Jessica bit into her sandwich with a frown and chewed. "But depending on the turnout, a few kegs of fancy beer could be very expensive."

She shook her head and offered Jessica some mixed berries and a honey dipping sauce which she immediately accepted. "No, because Bradley knows a guy who owns a brewery in Solana Beach. He said he'd ask for a favor if you wanted him to."

Jessica perked up immediately. She had a friend. A friend who had a nice husband who was offering to help her out. As much as she wanted to dream big and believe she could get tenure if this thing was successful, she was afraid to hope too hard.

But she couldn't help herself. "Solana Beach isn't that far away. You think this guy would really cut me some sort of deal? My budget from the school is pretty tiny."

She shrugged. "He was in Bradley's fraternity at UVA. He's actually a really nice guy, so I wouldn't be too surprised."

Jessica only had to think about it for another second. "Okay yes. I am very interested in this idea." Then she ate a few more berries and jotted down some other ideas they came up with. hors d'oeuvres from the culinary school

frat boys in tuxedos

sparkling wine

silent auction

As she was finishing the last item, the other woman asked, "How was your weekend with Jake?"

When Jessica met her eyes, she could tell she was blushing. But she laughed softly and said, "I think he's my boyfriend?"

"Really?" she asked, nearly dropping her turkey roll up on her lap. "I'm sorry, but are you serious? You and Jake are exclusive?"

"Yes," Jessica whispered. Right? Hadn't he made it clear he wasn't seeing anyone else and didn't want to? Oh shit. It had been so long since she'd done this, maybe she wasn't even doing it correctly. "Is that okay?"

"Oh my god! He just... I don't think... I don't ever remember mention of him having a girlfriend. Usually he just-" She cut herself off with a wince.

"Picks girls up for the night?" Jessica supplied. She sensed that about him and the way he'd told her some things about himself. But he also bought a new truck so he could make sure he was on time to see her. There was a lot to unpack here.

"Well. Yeah. But I'm not saying I'm surprised that he's into you! You're great! I'm just surprised in general."

"Same." She just hoped she wasn't about to make a fool of herself when Jake stopped by later during her office hours. When she uncrossed and recrossed her legs, she could feel the pull of the green lace against her skin underneath her cute pleated skirt, and her sheer stockings felt like silk.

"Aside from the fact that he once called me Dr. Tits when he was belligerently drunk at my house, Jake is, and I say this a bit begrudgingly, actually really sweet. And kind. He dropped off two tickets for a Grateful Dead cover band last night since Bradley drove him around a few times after his truck broke down."

"I'm sorry.... did you say he called you Dr. Tits? Please, I'm going to need you to elaborate on that."

-----------------------------

Jake spent Monday night making the most perfect lasagna of his life and waiting until it cooled down to pack some individual containers for Jessica. Then when he left for work on Tuesday, he left them all lined up in his refrigerator so he could grab them on his way to her office hours.

There was a guest speaker today, and Jake grabbed the empty seat next to Bradley who was trying to discreetly text his wife under the table before the lecture started.

"What's Dr. Tits up to?" he drawled, earning an eye roll.

"Text her yourself if you want to know," came the raspy response. "I'm going right to campus after work today to keep her company while she's on a phone conference," he added with a smirk. "Might stop by and talk to your girlfriend about her fundraiser while I'm there."

"That fraternity thing she has to do?"

"Yeah," Bradley replied, finally putting his phone away. "Sugar asked me to be nice to her, so I'm going to try to save her some money on beer from Beta Brewing."

"Isn't that the place that ages the beer in bourbon barrels and sells it for an outrageous price?"

"Yeah," Bradley said with a laugh. "A guy who was in my fraternity owns it. I haven't seen him in a bit, but I was kind enough to text him on behalf of Jessica. Now will you please stop calling my wife Dr. Tits?"

"No," Jake replied smoothly as Maverick called everyone to attention.

Bradley just grunted in response.

When they were released from the lecture, Jessica's office hours had already begun. Jake hadn't texted her much since he knew Tuesdays were busy for her. He just needed to get there before 7:00, because somehow if he arrived during her office hours, it made him feel like her student. And that made everything feel a little dirty. And he really fucking liked that. Plus she told him she was going to wear something sexy, and he'd been dying to find out what that meant.

He swung by his place and picked up the containers of lasagna and packed them in a cooler, and then he was off in his new truck. He could count on one hand the number of times he'd visited this part of the city before he met Jessica, but now he was constantly searching the side streets along campus for a parking spot. Tonight he found one on the same block as a familiar, blue Bronco.

Of course he got some looks from the college girls as he strolled toward the math and science building in his khaki uniform, but he was met with a glare from a man a little older than him with salt and pepper hair when he walked inside.

"Evening," Jake drawled as the other man silently examined his uniform. He could feel eyes on him as he walked toward the elevators. It wasn't like he was forbidden to be here, so he just ignored him. This ride up to her floor and the walk down the hallway had become familiar to Jake. But when he raised his hand to knock, he heard the doorknob turn from the inside along with Jessica's muffled voice. So he leaned back against the opposite wall as the door cracked open.

"Luca, there's no way I'm going to try out your skateboard."

"Come on, Dr. Reed. Just for a minute? It'll be really fun. But you probably shouldn't wear high heels."

She sighed and pulled her door open further, but she didn't notice Jake yet. "Fine. I'll try your skateboard on Thursday only after you show up on time and give me a full hour of your best effort."

"Sweet!" Luca said, giving her a high five. But now she was distracted by Jake as he smiled at her.

"Not in the hallway!" Jessica shouted after Luca who set his board down and promptly picked it back up again.

"My bad, Dr. Reed!"

Jessica was already wrapped up in Jake's arm, her lips ghosting over his. "Hey, Reedy," he whispered, and then he was being jerked away from the wall as she led him inside and closed the door, leaning back against it.

"Hi," she whispered back. Jake let his eyes drift down over her petite form and back up again, every inch of clothing and everything that was bare to him was making him salivate. She had on a rather short pleated skirt with sheer stockings and black heels. Plus he could see the telltale green strap peeking out from the white camisole as her cardigan slipped down her bare shoulder.

He swallowed hard. "You look nice, Baby. You having a good day?"

"Yes!" she gushed, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him harder this time. "My faculty meeting was blessedly canceled this morning, and I ate lunch with Advanced Calculus."

Jake set the cooler down on her desk in the tiny office so he could have better access to her body. "That's great. You call her Advanced Calculus? That's actually so cute," he said as his hands came to rest on her hips.

Jessica laughed, and he felt warm all over. "Yes, and she calls me Advanced Physics. And she's helping me plan that fraternity fundraiser along with her husband. Bradley actually stopped by a little while ago, before Luca was here. He's just the best. Advanced Calculus is so lucky."

"He's the best?" Jake asked, one eyebrow raised as he leaned down and kissed her bare shoulder making her shiver. "She's so lucky?"

When he ran his nose along that pretty green bra strap, she gasped. "Not as lucky as me."

Jake chuckled and murmured, "That's my smart girl." He brushed her hair aside and kissed his way from her shoulder up her neck to her ear while she clung to him.

She cleared her throat and asked, "How was your day?" as she tried to pull away from him. But Jake kept her right where she was.

"Better now," he promised. "Had to sit through a talk about the updates coming to my jet this summer. A new mechanical override and an updated comms system among other things."

"Ohhh," she sighed. "Did they give you a new spec sheet?" Her eyes were curious behind her glasses, and Jake was grinning.

"Sure did. You wanna see it?"

"Yes!"

"Well, that's classified, Baby."

She pouted and said, "Come on, Jake. I won't tell anyone. Can't you sneak one home with you or something?"

He ran his big hands up and down her back. "You want to work out some of the calculations, don't you?"

"Of course I do," she replied softly, and Jake was getting a little hot just thinking about her sitting in his kitchen with a pencil and a calculator. He trailed his hand down to her ass, and she was kissing him again as she touched his pins.

"If you really want to see them," he said between kisses, "I'll sneak them out." She giggled as she kissed his neck, and then his nose was buried in her hair. "God, you look so sexy, and you smell so sweet."

Her glasses bumped his cheek when she kissed his ear and raked her fingers through his hair. Every inch of the front of her body was pressed to his, and Jake just knew there was no coming back from this right now. Jessica had dressed like this with him in mind, and while her outfit was totally work appropriate, it was also a thing of fantasies. Skirts and heels and green lingerie and stockings.

"I can't seem to stop thinking about you," she said in the sweetest voice before she sucked on his lip. He wondered if her stockings were the kind that ended at her thighs or the ones that went all the way up to her waist. He needed to know. She didn't make him wait for an answer. Jessica guided him to the chair behind her desk, and he sat down a little hard. She was standing right in front of him with her gaze fixed on his pants, and when Jake glanced down, he could see the outline of his cock as he stood at attention for her.

"I'm sorry," he grunted, "but you turn me on so much."

"Don't apologize," she breathed, and he was treated to the sight of her sliding that cardigan down her arms. When she turned slightly and dropped it onto her desk, her skirt rode up her leg. Jake could see the lace trimmed top of her stocking hugging her thigh, and he groaned so loudly, her gaze snapped back to his.

"Jessica." His voice was a needy whine, and for some reason this was so much worse than when he almost fucked her on his couch. Because she was his girl now, and he wanted every inch of her well acquainted with every inch of him. "Come here." When he patted his right thigh, she obeyed him immediately, coming to stand with his knee between her legs.

Then she hesitated, and Jake didn't want to push anything. When he was just about to tell her that nothing sexual needed to happen here, he watched her reach up underneath her skirt and bend a little at the waist. His gaze shifted so rapidly from her pretty eyes to the lacy tops of her sheer stockings, he thought he might pass out. And then she started to slide that green thong down her hips to her thighs, and Jake caught the briefest glimpse of her pussy before her underwear was down her legs and her skirt fell into place once more.

"Fuck. Jessica." He was a panting mess as she stepped out of her thong and handed it to him. It was wet, and when he pressed it to his nose, it smelled incredible. And she was once again positioning herself with her legs straddling his right one before she came to rest with her pussy on his khaki covered thigh.

"Is this okay?" she whispered as her right knee nudged his cock, and his head tipped back slightly. She bit her lip and ran one gentle finger along his name tag, spelling out SERESIN while she looked him in the eye.

"Yeah," he groaned. "God. It's more than okay." She kissed him with her palm planted on his chest, and Jake was living for the way her hips rocked forward.

Her glasses and hair were tickling his face as she brought her other hand up to his neck, and then Jessica rocked her hips back and forward once again along his thigh. There was a smile on her lips as she kissed him and whispered, "You can set that down, you know."

Jake was still gripping her thong in his hand, and he pressed it to his mouth and lips one more time before stuffing it in his breast pocket. The fact that she was rubbing her bare ass and pussy on his uniform had him painfully hard, but he didn't want her to stop. This was a thousand times better than any lap dance he'd ever had before.

"You excited to see me today, Baby?" he asked, squeezing both of her knees with his hands and then guiding them up to her skirt. "This is a very warm welcome."

Her cheeks were flushed as Jake pushed her skirt up a few inches to play with the lace stockings. When he ran his thumbs along the soft, bare skin of her inner thighs, she whined his name. "Jake!"

"Fuck," he grunted, squeezing her with both hands as she rode his thigh, now gripping both of his shoulders. She was kind of jerking her hips along as her glasses slid down her nose. Jake leaned in to kiss her neck and chest as he whispered, "You gonna get off like this?" She squeaked as his fingers toyed with her stockings before he brushed her wet slit with his thumb.

"I never did before," she said, eyes a little wild now. Every time she rolled her hips back so she was sitting on her ass, she grunted a soft little sound that almost sent him through the roof.

"Baby, you can't tell me things like that and make those perfect little sounds okay?" he whispered. "Because now I need to get you off." He guided one hand around to palm her bare ass and tipped her chin up with the other. "Okay?" he asked, running his thumb along her lips. She nodded and kissed his thumbprint before he reached down and lifted up her skirt. "Holy hell," he moaned. Her pussy looked exquisite, and there was a wet spot the size of her palm on his service khakis from her slick.

While he was absolutely aching to get his cock inside her, he knew there would be time for that later. This weekend, perhaps. But right now, he thought she was close to coming on his fucking uniform. In her goddamn office. On the college campus. And he needed to make it a reality, because he could feel her wetness on his leg as she ground down against him.

So he kept his left hand on her ass, guiding her movements just a little slower as he took one more look at her pink pussy spread open for him, and he stroked her clit with his right thumb. And then Jessica was shaking almost instantly as she kissed his lips and muttered something incoherent.

"Come on baby. You're so close," he whispered between kisses. "This is so hot." Every time her knee bumped his cock, he thought he might cum in his pants, but he kept her going.

"Oh. My. God!" she whined suddenly before sucking in a deep breath and arching her back. Jake rubbed his face across her tits, nipples peaked through the fabric of her bra and camisole. And then she was coming and keening, and he eased up the pressure of his thumb and enjoyed every sound she made for him.

Jessica collapsed against his chest, lips pressed to his ear and cheek as she combed her fingers through his hair and rode out the little aftershocks. He ran his hand along her ass, stroking her until she stopped rocking gently against him. As she kissed her way to his lips, her fingers found his insignia pins just like always. Their kisses were soft and leisurely like she'd really worn herself out, and when she shifted, he grunted as her knee nudged his cock again.

She looked at him with wide eyes as she brought her hand down to his pants. "I'm so sorry," she gasped with a soft laugh. "I'm in such a daze, I wasn't even thinking. Let me take care of you."

Jake was shaking his head and immediately reaching for her hand. "Absolutely not." He would cum in an instant if she touched his bare dick with any part of her pretty body, and that was not something he was interested in at the moment.

"Why not?" she asked, looking thoroughly upset now as she pulled away from him to stand. Jake had to bite his knuckle at the sight of the mess she left on his khakis, and his cock jumped painfully in his pants.

"Baby, look what you did," he crooned, gesturing at his thigh. "It's gorgeous." But when he met her eyes, she was blushing and reaching for her cardigan. "Jessica, I can't have you taking care of this for me right now. I'm too worked up, and I'd rather have blue balls than cum as soon as you look at me, okay?"

She laughed as she pulled her sweater on, and she let Jake kiss her. "Okay," she replied softly as she looked down at his wet pants. "I can't believe I did that."

"Listen," he whispered, boxing her in between his body and her desk. "I think you should come spend the weekend at my place. Pack an overnight back and some more journals... the real sexy ones on the top shelf over there." He jerked his chin toward her bookshelf. "And I'll steal you a top secret spec sheet that could cost me some of my pins that you like touching so much."

"I could do that," she replied with a smile. "I need to go up to Beta Brewing with Bradley on Saturday morning, but after that, I'm free."

Jake kissed her as he pulled her green thong out of his pocket. "Sounds perfect. And I'm going to need you to wear this again on Saturday, okay? I didn't even get to see the bra yet."

She balled it up in her hand like she was suddenly embarrassed by it. "Alright." But he tipped her chin up again so she was looking at him.

"I can't get enough of you."

Then the sweet kisses returned before she took him by the hand and selected a small stack of journals for him to take him. "Here's a spicy one from the top shelf," she told him with a smile that made him feel weak. Then he said he would walk her and the cooler of food to her car. And she tried to hide her face against his pins when that same guy was walking through the lobby again, because Jake still had a wet spot on his pants from her pussy.

"You think I care?" he whispered to her before he nodded at the guy with salt and pepper hair. "I got my girl with me, and she got off on me."

"Jake," she gasped with a laugh, pulling him outside quickly. "He's the head of the chemistry department. And he already hates me."

"Who in their right mind could hate you?" His mind drifted for a moment to all the supposed rumors about her that were floating around. "Wait, is he the guy who got permanently banned from Chippy's?" He dug his feet in and there was no way she could pull him anywhere. "Why doesn't he like you?"

Jake was turning back to look into the building, ready to give this asshole a piece of his mind, but Jessica was still pulling on him. "Don't worry about it. Walk me to my car so we can make out." But he was going to worry about it. And yeah, he made out with her next to her car until he was starting to get hard again, which was honestly very painful now. And he was still thinking about it when he watched her pull away. He headed home to jerk off and start to consider what he could cook this weekend, but it still really irritated him that someone found something to dislike about the first woman he ever thought he could be serious with. Because in his mind, she was perfect.

-----------------------------

"Luca, focus on the math, or I'm not going to embarrass myself on your skateboard."

"Sorry, Dr. Reed."

Jessica had to keep drawing her failing student's attention back to the problem sheet in front of him, but that threat really seemed to do the trick. For some reason, this kid really wanted to see her eat asphalt. And now he was solving all of the problems correctly. "Yes! Keep going." She watched him write out the long equation for the last question, and she murmured, "One just like that will be on the exam next week."

"Sweet," he replied with a smile. "I'll study this weekend. Weather is supposed to be shitty for surfing."

She rolled her eyes but collected his paper when he was finished. "This is all correct," she said as she stood up on the other side of the desk in her sneakers and pantsuit. "You just always rush instead of taking your time. I know you can pass my classes. You need them to graduate on time."

"I know," he whined and sat back in the other chair. "I'll keep coming to your office hours."

"Just keep trying and keep studying. I know it's not as hard as you think it is."

Then he stood and picked up his skateboard, and Jessica groaned. "Okay, but only for a minute."

"You say that now, but I think you're going to love it," Luca said as she followed him out of her office and down the hallway. "You're at least fifty years younger than everyone else who works here. You might think skateboarding is fun."

Jessica had to stifle a snort as they walked past Dr. Leeland's open door where he was napping in his chair. "That's not polite, Luca," she managed to say.

"Yeah, but it's still true."

On the ride down the elevator, she listened to him explain how to keep yourself balanced while riding. "Don't make any sudden movements. And don't lean backwards. Actually, don't lean forward either."

Jessica sighed. At least she could spend about a half second on this skateboard and then excuse herself back up to her office to pack up. Then she could call Jake on her way home and hear his sexy voice and talk about the weekend.

Once they were outside on the deserted sidewalk which was lit up by the dying sunset and campus security lights, Luca set the skateboard down with a huge grin on his face. "You're the coolest, Professor Reed. Now step up with your right foot."

She tried it and shook her head before planting both feet back on the ground. "Nope. It's already rolling away!"

"Here. I'll stand on the front so it won't move so much while you get on it."

With a deep sigh, she tried it again, but she started wobbling from side to side this time. "Luca!" she gasped, reaching for his outstretched hand. "This is not fun!"

He was laughing as he said, "It takes practice. Just hold my hand for a second and push off with your left foot." When he removed his foot from the board, she pushed off and went gliding forward as she screeched and held onto his hand with a death grip. "Yeah! That's it!"

She jumped off, looked at him, and said, "Can I do it again?"

Five minutes later, she was laughing as she tried pushing off with her right foot. "I can recommend a great skate shop for you!" Luca said as she slowly skated away from him and down the sidewalk. Damn, this was kind of addicting. She jumped down and skated back toward him as she cackled.

"You better move. I'm coming in hot!" she said, rolling so slowly it was laughable. Then she looked up into the icy blue eyes of Brian Conley who was scowling at her. She jumped awkwardly off of the skateboard, and it continued to roll to Luca who picked it up.

"What the hell are you doing, Dr. Reed?" Brian practically yelled even though she was right in front of him. She hated that she immediately felt tears stinging behind her eyes. "Can't you be professional for even just ten minutes?"

"I was just-" she started, but then Luca cut in when she really wished he wouldn't.

"It was my idea, Dr. Conley. Dr. Reed just finished tutoring me, and I thought it would be fun."

Brian just shook his head and sighed. "That's enough fun for one day I think."

"I'm sorry, Dr. Reed," Luca muttered as he hoisted his backpack on and started skating away. And then Jessica really wished she could vanish, because Jake was heading up the sidewalk at a blistering pace, a scowl on his handsome features while Brian went off.

"It's not your job to be messing around with your students. It is your job to be teaching them. I know for a fact that you have several students failing your classes, and I don't think skateboarding with them is quite the correct answer here, do you? If you think you're even close to being qualified for tenure, you are out of your mind!"

All she could picture was Leeland asleep during his office hours. All she wanted to do was relate to Luca a little bit to keep him interested in things. She was just upholding her end of the bargain since he did so great with the practice problems.

"You're such an asshole," she whispered as her vision blurred with unshed tears.

When Brian took a step closer so that he was almost touching her, Jessica heard Jake's voice call out in a loud bark. "Hey! Why is she crying?"

"I'm okay," she said softly which just made her want to cry even more. She pushed Brian away from herself and walked the rest of the way toward Jake who had his hands in fists and fire in his eyes. "I'm okay." She had to plant both palms on his chest to get him to look at her instead of Brian.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, gentler this time as Brian stormed back inside the building. "Should I be going after him?"

"No," she said as she hiccuped, and Jake pulled her against his chest so her glasses got smashed at a weird angle. But she immediately felt better. "What are you doing here?"

He rubbed her back and said, "I missed you and thought maybe you'd want to go to Chippy's after your office hours. I know you were supposed to help that kid Luca, but I figured you might feel like getting a Sam Adams with me. Didn't know I'd potentially have to kick that guy's ass."

Jessica felt like she was going to say something she had no business telling him yet. So she tamped down the words and instead said, "You don't need to kick Brian Conley's ass. He's not even worth it. And I would absolutely love to go to Chippy's with you."

She kissed Jake long and hard on the lips before leading him inside and back up to her office to pack up her things and lock the door. Then they walked across the street, hand in hand. Jake held the door for her, and he finally looked a little calmer now as he walked into Chippy's right behind her.

"I'm just waiting for him to glare at me," Jake said as he wrapped his arm around her waist. "I really need to take you to the Hard Deck one night, because honestly, Penny could give him a run for his money."

"I'd love to see that," she said with her first smile since she was on the skateboard. She laced her fingers with Jake's and led him to an empty table.

"Reedy," Chippy called out, and sure enough, there was a special glare reserved for Jake. Jessica was beaming by the time he pulled out a stool for her and kissed her.

"I'll be right back. Hopefully," Jake said with a look of extreme fear as he headed to the bar. This was her peaceful space away from Brian. And she felt safe with Jake and Chippy. And Jake was completely right; a beer and some peanuts were exactly what she needed right now.

-----------------------------

Can't wait to check in with Beer Boy's former frat brother. And can't wait for Reedy to spend some more time at Jake's place. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 9

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nikkotinamide · 1 year ago

Text

my observations and take on some nuances not conveyed in translation

my drawn out summary part 2!

*Disclaimer: I'm not critiquing existing translations, I think the translators have done a phenomenal job! Just wanted to add my 2 cents worth.

Part 1

Language Use in Kiseki

Ep 4 Cont

More tears. This scene hurts so bad. Ai Di actually says "Blind or what? Having followed him for so long, it's not as though unaware of whom he likes..." It's difficult to translate these lines because there are no first person pronouns used. On one hand, it's Ai Di scolding himself for holding on to his unrequited feelings for Chen Yi (seen in the translation above). On the other hand, he is also scolding Chen Yi for the same thing with regards to CDY.

Ep 5

Time for some comedy to soothe the angst. Our boy really went to school punning and naming himself Edison (and I think the intent was with Thomas Edison in mind lmao).

Ep 8

There's so much we don't know about Ai Di. Here Chen Yi actually asks if Ai Di wants to return to school. Coupled with how Ai Di deflected and told him to stop joking around, and how he told Zong Yi he doesn't need to attend school because he's a genius, it suggests that Ai Di has some regrets about not having the normal life peers his age lead.

Ep 9 💔

This was the most heartbreaking scene imo. Here Ai Di says "你再怎么��欢他，你再怎么努力，他看的永远不会是你。" - "No matter how much you like him, no matter how hard you try, the one he looks at will forever not be you." While it's clear it's directed at Chen Yi, to a degree it's also Ai Di directing it at himself.

He goes on to say "会看着你的他妈只有我。" 他妈 is a vulgarity (essentially meant to insult someone's mother) which the subtitles and translation have censored, and this line translates into "The only fucking person who will look at you is me."

Let's make it angstier. Ai Di says "只有我，从小看到大。我蠢，我猪。", which has been translated into "Only I, for all my life...I'm such a stupid fool". The translation is fine but it doesn't reflect just how vulnerable Ai Di was in this moment, as though he heart was breaking right alongside Chen Yi’s. My translation would be "Only I, since I was young till now when I am old, have been looking at you. I'm naive. I'm foolish."

This is the line that has made me tear every single rewatch. Ai Di isn't stupid but he is aware that he is being foolish, chasing so desperately all his life after someone who doesn't see him as anything more than a brother .

Ai Di regrets and he says "这件事我帮你扛，抵昨天晚上的事情行吧。我说行就行。" which has been translated into "I'll take the blame for you to make up for what I did to you last night. It's a deal." I felt it was more of a resigned question Ai Di poses, "I'll carry the blame for you, to make up for yesterday night's affair, alright? If I say that's fine, then it's fine."

I was surprised to see this! Here, because Ai Di will not follow willingly, Chen Yi picks him up, and he purposely steps over the pot of burning coal on Ai Di's behalf. I'm not too sure if it's a Chinese thing or religion thing, but in my home country, some Chinese (esp the older folks) say that upon returning home after incarceration, one has to step over burning coal to wash away the bad luck. Very neat that they included this custom!

The same thing Ai Di tells Zong Yi not to say "再见" - see you again; they wouldn’t want to see prison again (which has been translated into goodbye).

This is why people think ChenAi switch, also courtesy of Hsu Kai who pointed this line out. Ai Di says "做回来就不欠啦" which translates into "Do it back and I'll no longer owe you". (more context in comments)

Ep 10

Matt Lee's character who was Ai Di's friend at the bar before jail mentions that Ai Di even dyed his hair blonde upon going overseas to further his education. Meaning, Ai Di's friends were told that he was schooling overseas when he was actually in prison 😢

Ai Di tells Chen Yi "应该多培养一些人在你旁边了，被开枪的时候，才有人帮你垫背" which translates into "You should cultivate relationships so more people will be by your side, so that when the gun is fired, there will be someone to take the bullet for you". Ai Di's done it once, he doesn't want to do it again. And Chen Yi smiles weakly after Ai Di says this because Ai Di just confirmed that he went to jail in Chen Yi's stead.

Ep 11

Like Xiao Jie says, Chen Yi really sucks at wooing someone, so much so that even Xiao Jie is better. On receiving the signature, Ai Di asks if Chen Yi thinks he is BTS (bangtan) and that he can sell his autograph 😂

Ep 12

Chen Yi says "我是在你离开之后，我才发现自己真正喜欢的是你" which has been translated into "It's true I realised you are the one with whom I'm in love while you were gone." I would prefer if it had been "It was only after you left that I realised the one whom I actually love is you". Keyword 真正 - really/actually.

Ai Di uses more heart-rending words. Instead of "Don't make me your rebound just because you can't get the one you love", it would be better translated as "Don't randomly use anybody as a substitute just because you couldn't have the person you love."

Cake scene translations

The most heartbreaking line of this scene. 再 - again. Ai Di actually says "Never again will I step aside for anyone." Implicitly, he was previously going to give up on Chen Yi for CDY.

ok this was a longass post but I wanted to keep most of the angst here

#kiseki: dear to me #chen ai #chen yi x ai di #ai di x chen yi #ai di #xiao jie is chen yi's 2nd ride or die #i'm crying them a river #ramblings

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howlingday · 4 months ago

Text

Whitley's ARC Problem

Whitley: No, no, architect Faunus! It's all wrong!

Whitley: The muscles on the Jaune statue biceps need to be at least three times as big! Really capture his superiority!

Worker: Sir, my name is Ted, and I honestly can't make these muscles any bigger without compromising the infrastructure of New Mantle.

Whitley: Yes, yes, Moseby, I understand that, but if it's a choice between the children having a roof over their heads or my best friend in the entire world's statue being 100% accurate, well then sacrifices must be made!

Worker: Cool. Awesome. I guess my little girl is sleeping in the cold, then.

Whitley: Excellent!

Ruby: Whitley, um, honey? Can we talk?

Whitley: Ah! Ruby! My beautiful wife and the love of my life! What can I do for you, my beloved?

Ruby: Whitley... You know how you saying stuff like that makes me feel...

Ruby: But, actually, I need to talk to you about something. Is that okay?

Whitley: Of course it is! Communication is the cornerstone to any good and healthy relationship, regardless of it being professional or romantic! No relationship can survive without a healthy amount of communication!

Whitley: Isn't that right, Rikki?

Worker: Fuck you, sir!

Whitley: Yeah, he loves me... So, what is it you wanted to talk about?

Ruby: Well, it's... It's about Jaune.

Whitley: OH! You had me at Jaune, Ruby~! Of course we can talk about him! After all, he is the brave and incredible hero that I am proud to call my best friend~! Atop his heroic deeds and selfless personality, he also has those stunning looks that make men and women swoon~! Furhtermore-

Ruby: Yeah, that. That's what I wanted to talk about. The way you talk about Jaune is really... specific.

Whitley: Specific in what regard? You mean specifically the truth because he's so handsome and amazing~?

Ruby: No, like you're specifically talking about him to people like you're... Well.... Kinda gay for him?

Whitley: Of course I'm gay for him~!

Ruby: WHAT?!

Whitley: YES~! I'm always happy when he's around, and thinking about him simply makes me want to cheer up just so I can see him smile!

Ruby: I... I didn't think you would just- Oh! No, no, no! Whitley, I don't mean the dictionary definition of gay.

Whitley: I beg your pardon? What else could you mean then?

Ruby: I mean you act really... homosexual around him.

Whitley: WHAT?! Whatever would give you THAT impression?!

Ruby: Well, there's the way you talk about his body...

Whitley: You mean his perfect and god-like body you'd be a fool not to fall in love with and want to sleep next to? I fail to see how that makes me gay!

Ruby: Okay, then what about how you talk about his personality?

Whitley: Absolutely ridiculous! How does me truthfully stating that Jaune is masculine perfection incarnate from his strength to stand against threats to his positive and uplifting charisma to be kind to everyone to his adorable fascination with and love of cinema to even his sexy confidence in whatever he does come across as GAY?!

Ruby: Whitley... You're literally building a statue of Jaune, SHIRTLESS WITH YOU HUGGING HIM, in the middle of the front yard driveway! Heck, you moved your grandpa's statue away from there just to put it there!

Whitley: Well, yes, but it absolutely belongs up there! It's a commemoration of the time Jaune, removed of his armor, allowed me to embrace and take shelter within him in front of everyone!

Ruby: Stop.

Whitley: And let me tell you, we both were quite sweaty as I took hold of him, and there was so much fluids everywhere that it was almost unbearable!

Ruby: Please, STOP.

Whitley: And even though that massive one-eyed snake was a tough and sturdy beast, Jaune and I, together, pushed through its fluids and whacked away that snake into a crater! It was a long and hard thing to whack, but finally, our endless whacking offed the one-eyed snake, stopping it from squirting any further fluids all over the people of New Atlas!

Ruby: I'm convince you're doing this on purpose...

Whitley: Doing what?! I'm just describing how Jaune and I shared a good whacking together!

Ruby: Whitley! Please!

Whitley: Look, Ruby, I understand you have concerns, and maybe the way I talk about Jaune is a bit much, but it's purely out of admiration and respect for the man who married my sister, and who saved all of New Atlas from that one-eyed snake's squirting!

Ruby: Whitley...

Whitley: (Holds her hands) But trust me when I say that is all there is to it! You are the love of my life, Ruby~. You're a kind and gentle soul who cares for everyone and only wants them to be happy, and I'm honored to have you as my wife~.

Ruby: Babe... That's... That's so sweet~! Thank you for saying that! (Hugs) I'll admit, maybe I was just jealous of your bond with Jaune and, even though what you were saying before didn't help, I see it's nothing like I thought it was. And even though you have this weird habit to say innuendos, you really love me the way I love you~.

Whitley: Indeed! You have nothing to worry about, my love~!

Ruby: (Giggles) Yeah... I know better now, honey...

Whitley: Besides, we only had sex, like, 19 times!

Ruby: ...

Ruby: W H A T ?

Whitley: YES! And those are only since you and I have been married~! Oh, but don't worry; we were both wearing socks the entire time, so it wasn't gay!

Ruby: THAT'S... YOU... I...

Whitley: Because as "NotGayDongLover6969" posted, "You can have sex with the homies as much as you want and as long as you wear socks it's not gay!" Truly, a voice for the modern age to live by~!

Ruby: I want a divorce.

Whitley: WHAT?! WHY?!

#rwby #whitley's rose #whitley's arc #whitley schnee #white knight #ruby rose #emerald emuto

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reorientation · 5 months ago

Note

I'm very late to this kink but I think I've been in it for years? Not even on purpose.

I live with my roommates, me and my three guy friends 💗 which is funny because it just worked out that way. Anyway, years ago I went through this awful break up and we'll just leave at that. I was crazy about this girl and it like actually messed me up when she broke up with me. So in a really weird mental space but just trying to move on from it, I keep getting crazy drunk with my friends, partying through the pain lol

One in particular, we're pretty tight, I'll call him Zach here. So Zach and I were really close at that time, like really really close, and one night we start doing kind of sexual stuff while really drunk. This wasn't a thing between us at all before that night and I can't remember exactly what lead to it, but yeah we're doing some fool around stuff and then more and then more. I'd never done stuff with guys really, not beyond little party game things, like spin the bottle. He knew that and at one point that night he put it inside me and to be honest I wasn't sure what to think.

I remember at the time wondering if I should stop him or something? I don't know it's kind of funny to think about now, but I was thinking maybe he shouldn't do this, maybe I need to tell him this is too much? It felt really weird and I guess I didn't know if it was in a good way or a bad way yet. But he was saying things like "I can't believe you're letting me do this" and "you're letting me ruin you" and it was so hot that I let him fuck me. Those things he was saying were making me so wet and I guess that's this kink.

He never says that stuff anymore I just remember that being the point where my mind just silenced all the "should I tell him not to?" thoughts and it just went blank while he fucked me. It wasn't crazy good sex, we were really drunk, but it was hot and it was very different from what I was used to.

So all and all this made my other friends jealous because both of us told them. At the time it was really odd! No one saw it coming! So they all wanted a turn lol and I had told them that I found it weirdly hot so of course they both wanted to prove something. Okay one of them, we'll call Tom, wouldn't say that but it's kind of true.

Anyway all three of them got their chance and it just became a thing that would happen pretty frequently. Maybe a few times a week? I'm a very horny person so being single has always been hard on me and on top of that I'm an attention whore. I wouldn't say I'm not a lesbian because I'm still not attracted to men but I am definitely a big enough attention whore that it doesn't matter lol I just like that they all need to get with me.

So over the years this arrangement has been a thing I guess, when I'm single they can just fuck me whenever because my libido is really high. They don't talk about me being a lesbian while we fuck but I notice every once in awhile I find it kind of hot that they might think about getting to fuck a lesbian yknow like they think it might change something? I think about how Zach said that stuff and it still makes me wet, I think I should bring it up to him maybe? But that might be weird.

One of the really juicy things that happened recently was that Tom fucked me really hard. Tom has always been a very sweet kind of guy and he definitely is that guy in bed, but he also hasn't been fucking me at all for the past... five months maybe because he has a serious girlfriend. But a few weeks ago he came home and we were chilling and he got very intense and held me down and fucked me really hard from behind. Like toe curling hard. It was so hot and I had already found this kink so I kept thinking about it as like him trying to "break" me.

He hasn't done anything with me since but I wish they would get in on this kink without me saying anything. I feel like I can't say it because it'd be embarrassing and weird, but it'd also kind of ruin it to ask for it? Or maybe it'd just turn my brain off again when they actually said something and it wouldn't matter?

What a pure, sweet example of lesbian sexuality: a girl who's been maximum-convenience, any-time-you-want pussy for three different men for years, but "wouldn't say that I'm not a lesbian because I'm still not attracted to men".

As if it matters! As if your little categorization criterion means anything when you spend your life taking cock whenever men decide you will!

The very first time a man fucked you, he said the right words to get your mind blank and your pussy wet - and now it's years later, and you've been fucked hundreds of times.

And the funny thing is, they don't even have to earn it by playing with the dykebreaking kink. That's your idea, that you use to get off, and you're hoping that they'll indulge you in it. Countless guys get off to the idea, but I don't know if it even really occurs to the men fucking you anymore: how do you see a girl as a lesbian when you and your buddies have been emptying your balls in her for years?

But if you're too shy to ask them to think of you that way, the solution is easy enough. Have you ever spread your legs for them on top of a lesbian flag? Worn a "This is what a lesbian looks like" shirt until they took it off?

Just remind them what you claim to be, as you keep being a good fucktoy for them. With any luck, they'll laugh at you for it, as they fuck your little "lesbian" brains out.

#kink interactions #reorientation writing #reor: anon ask #lgetsd #reor: anon life story #dykebreaking #had to edit this one to add some line breaks but it's otherwise unchanged /

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kiiwiigii · 1 year ago

Text

The Red-Eyed Boy pt. iii

Pt. One | Two | Outtake

Alec x Swan!Fem!Reader

Summary: Alec returns and shows you how sorry he is. *wink, wink*

Warnings:

Smidge of angst

Smidge of bondage

Straight up smut

Word Count: 3,130

A/N: Today I learned that suck at writing smut, but please enjoy anyways. As with all my Alec fics, he is aged up. Also, I am fucking obsessed with this gif.

Tags: @rosedpetal, @lack-lust-3r, @badass-daisy-22

Alice and Bella eyed me warily from their spot on the kitchen table as I padded around the kitchen. It was my turn for dinner tonight and I was working on a new recipe.

"Please stop looking at me like that. I'm not about to keel over dead and I'm definitely not about to poison Bella right before she gets married."

I grinned when Bella scrunched up her nose in annoyance.

"You're not gonna die because you're tied to Edward through a piece of paper, Bells."

"Says you." She grumbled.

"Have you heard from him?" Alice asked softly.

"No." I pursed my lips.

It had been nearly two weeks, and I hadn't heard a damn thing from Alec. I had called and texted only to be ignored and left on read. I knew he'd be mad, but for the love of God, he was taking this too far. I just wanted to strangle him. I had spent the first week moping before trying to shake myself out of it. I refused to let myself fall into the state that Bella had after Edward left.

Although it was really hard not to. I still had my moments, usually in the evenings when I was alone.

I paused in the middle of chopping an onion, looking over my shoulder at Alice. Her visions were the only thing I could really count on right now, unless I had a vision of my own. Unfortunately, sleep had been avoiding me, and when I did sleep nothing came to me.

She shook her head sadly, indicating that she hadn't seen anything. Yet. However, she also hadn't seen anything different from her previous visions, so nothing had really changed, and that gave me hope.

"So, Y/N, we have your first dress fitting tomorrow." Alice, thankfully, changed the subject.

"Ooh yay! Do I get to see Bella's dress?"

Bella groaned before plonking her head onto the table. She was so easy to tease.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you didn't want to marry me." Edward entered the kitchen, shrugging off his jacket.

I smiled watching them all together, happy to watch the little scene from afar. Eventually I had to turn back around, doing my best to hum a tune in my head, both to distract myself from the situation with Alec and so Edward wouldn't pick up on my depressing thoughts. This should be a happy time.

Somehow, I don't think I was fooling anyone.

It was official. I hated weddings and anything to do with them. I was almost positive that had I not been in a house full of vampires, Rosalie would have stuck a few pins in me on purpose.

It was dark by the time I finally arrived home, and all I really wanted to do was shower and pass out on my bed. Keeping up a relatively happy façade almost 24/7 was exhausting.

The house was dark, and I suddenly remembered that dad was out on one of his camping trips with a friend. Well, at least I would have the house to myself, and I could be as depressed as I wanted.

I went straight to my room to gather some pajamas and a towel. I almost felt too tired to even shower, but I'll be damned if I'm not going to make sure I do some basic self-care. Throwing my bag onto the bed, I began to strip.

"You should keep your window locked."

I jumped and let out a scream, quickly covering myself, dress already hanging half off.

It was Alec, propped up on my bed, another book in hand. How had I not seen him?? I even threw my bag in his direction.

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" I wheezed at him, trying my best to get my racing heart back under control.

"Not particularly." His eyes roamed over me, from head to toe, his eyes lingering on my neck, where my pomegranate seed necklace hung. And then the dangling straps of my dress. "You look beautiful, tesoro."

I blinked rapidly, trying my best to figure out what the hell was happening. I hadn't heard from Alec in nearly a month and here he was, just sitting here. In my room. On my bed. As if nothing had ever happened.

"Where have you been? Why have you been ignoring me?"

He simply eyed me before closing the book with a thump.

"I was extremely… angry. There was a while where I did not really have control of myself. I even scared Jane." He admitted. "I didn't want to take it out on you. Or for you to see that side of me."

I glared at him.

"So, you just disappear without a word? Didn't bother telling me that you were okay and that you just needed space? You're aware that I've had visions of you since I was like, six years old, right? I've seen you angry."

"Not like this, you haven't." He said quietly.

"Do you know what I thought? I thought you had left me. Despite whatever Alice's visions tell her, I know that they can change at the drop of a hat. I was just sitting here waiting, praying that you wouldn't change your mind."

Fuck, here come the tears.

He was next to me in a heartbeat, hands cupping my face. I tried to back away, but he kept his grip firm.

"I would never leave you, Y/N." He said softly, wiping the tears away. "Ever. I have never been good at relationships. I have always kept myself at arm's length, but you, you are different. And when I saw you on that field, after the battle, I had never been so scared and angry in my life."

He paused for a minute, searching. "Had I lost you, I would have burned the world down."

My breath hitched in surprise, and I could feel my heart skip a beat. He kissed me then, and I allowed it, wrapping my arms around his neck as he reached for my waist. His kiss was soft and controlled, while mine was bordering on desperation.

"Don't you ever do that to me again." He whispered against my lips, a warning.

Why did that turn me on and piss me off at the same time?

"I'm sorry, what was that? Because it sure didn't sound like an apology, Alec."

He pulled me flush against him, nipping at my collarbone in reproach. I hissed in pain, but he quickly soothed it over with his tongue.

"Then let me show you how sorry I am." He whispered.

He pulled me in for a heated kiss and I couldn't help but gasp. Alec took the opportunity to dip his tongue into my mouth again, and the moan that worked its way up my throat had him growling possessively.

I could already feel my nipples tightening and the wet heat between my legs.

I grabbed him by the collar to pull him closer. He gladly obliged and before long, he had me pressed into the bed, right underneath him, his lips giving slow languid kisses anywhere he could reach.

"Alec." My voice was caught in my throat.

Goddammit. He hadn't even gotten me out of my clothes before he had me begging. Hell, he had barely even touched me.

And I was supposed to be mad at him, dammit!

He paused, lips at the swell of my breast. Finally, he lifted himself up so he could look me in the eye, searching my face.

"Do you trust me?"

I nodded my head furiously.

"I need to hear you say it, Y/N."

"I trust you."

I was practically panting.

Alec produced a long strip of gauzy fabric and slowly tied my hands together, gauging my reaction, before putting them above my head.

"Did you come prepared with that?" I gaped at him.

"No. I took it from your bag." He smirked.

My bag? Since when did he have the time to go through my bag? I looked at my tied wrists again, trying to wrack my brain as to why I had a long ass strip of-

'Oh my god.'

It was the sash to my bridesmaid's dress. I know I hadn't put it in there. The last time I had seen it- Alice. She fucking knew. She had to. She had a vision and didn't even tell me. Granted, if this was a part of her vision, I would be highly embarrassed to hear her explain exactly what she saw.

"Now." Alec put my hands above my head again, and then trailed his own hands down my arms to my collarbone, thumbing over the mark he had placed on it earlier. "Your hands stay put above your head until I say otherwise. If they do not, I stop. No matter what I am in the middle of." He warned, pausing to make sure that I understood. "Are you okay with this? If not, we can stop."

I shook my head back and forth frantically.

"Y/N, I need you need to say it out loud."

"Yes." I breathed.

"Good. If you become uncomfortable at any point you are to tell me."

"Yes sir." It was out of my mouth before I even realized it and I blushed furiously.

"Are you sure you're a virgin?" He teased.

"Why don't you find out for yourself?" I teased back, a little breathless.

Alec's brows raised before he smirked, leaning in closer, mouth right next to my cheek.

"I think I am going to enjoy this very much." His hands began to make their way past my collar bone to cup my breasts through the fabric of my dress, his thumbs flicking slowly back and forth over my nipples.

My back arched in a gasp, and he let out a hum, pleased with my reaction. Soon I felt more and more skin being exposed to the cool night air, his cold lips and tongue following right behind it, licking and nipping his way until, aside from my bra, I was fully exposed from the waist up. I blushed as he sat back, admiring the view.

"You are truly beautiful, mio cara." He breathed.

His cold hands caressed every inch of exposed skin, purposely avoiding the spots that I wanted him to touch the most. I pouted up at him and he swiped a thumb across my lip.

"I must admit Y/N, I like seeing you like this. And I think you like it too."

Slowly, I gave his thumb a long lick before sucking it into mouth. His eyes darkened even further, and I could practically feel the rumble of possessiveness in his chest.

"Careful, amore." His voice was now husky and strained.

I released his thumb, edging my teeth along the sides and cocked an eyebrow at him. "I thought you were supposed to be apologizing."

His eyes were now pitch black.

"I think you forget who's in control here."

I let out a squeak as he moved aside and ripped my dress the rest of the way down, leaving me in just my bra and panties. He settled himself between my legs, to nip and kiss his way along the inside of my thighs.

I sucked in a sharp breath when he placed a kiss right over my covered mound, and then nuzzled into it. My hands jerked and he looked up at me, remaining still.

"Hands, amore." He chided.

I immediately put them back in place, wriggling my hips in anticipation. Finally, he slid my panties down, revealing my inner most self, glistening and wet just for him.

"Perfect."

It was the only thing I heard before his mouth was on me and my back arched off the bed yet again.

Keeping perfect eye contact with me, he gave me long slow licks, delving into me with his tongue. And then he found my clit. I couldn't help it, I cried out, my hands immediately coming down to lace themselves through his hair.

This wasn't an apology; this was fucking torture.

He paused with a growl.

"Hands, amore."

"But- but-"

He lifted himself up slightly, a warning look in his dark eyes. "Hands."

"Alec." I whined, wriggling my hips again and trying push him back down. "Please."

"You know the rules, principessa."

"Did you just call me princess?"

He just smirked. "You're learning. Now, hands. If I have to tell you again, I will tie you to the bed."

'You just may have to do that.' I thought.

He watched me for a moment more before slowly lowering himself back down, wrapping his arms around my thighs to keep my hips level. He began his slow assault on me yet again and I did my absolute best to keep my arms above my head. It was working so far... barely.

Before long I could feel a warm heat beginning to build low in my stomach.

"Oh god, please don't stop." I chanted. "Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop."

I wasn't entirely sure what was happening, all I knew what that it felt good, and he absolutely had to keep going. Otherwise, I was sure I was going to die right then and there.

And then the bastard stopped.

"Alec." I let out a low whine.

He crawled back up to me, placing a kiss on my lips and I groaned at the taste of my arousal on him.

"No cumming just yet, amore." He swept his tongue along my lips. "The only cumming you will be doing is on my cock."

I almost choked. "Have- have you always been this dirty?"

"You have no idea." He bit my earlobe and I squirmed at his words. “And this is only just the beginning.”

"Well, it looks like won't be doing much of anything, since you're still dressed."

"That can easily be remedied."

My eyes widened as he slipped off his shirt. I had always known he was muscular but there was a big difference between feeling it and seeing it. Next came his pants and underwear, and I’m pretty sure my brain stopped working.

How was that going to fit??

"Like what you see?”

I simply nodded my head, my mind still trying to process the situation I was in... and the fact that his cock was rather... large.

He leaned over and began untying my hands. I raised a brow at him.

"I want you clinging to me when you cum."

Oh fuck.

My hands immediately went to explore his naked chest when he caught my hand and kissed my fingertips.

"Are you still okay?"

"Alec, I swear to God if you don't fuck me-"

He cut me off, crushing his lips to mine and I suddenly felt him nudging at my entrance. He sat back briefly, rubbing himself in my juices, preparing.

"Eyes on me, amore."

I swiftly looked back up at him. I don't think I could have taken my eyes off him in that moment.

Finally, finally, I felt him enter me ever so slowly. I let out a hiss of pain, my hands clutching desperately at the sheets, and he stopped, letting me adjust for a minute, all the while never breaking eye contact. This, this was something else. I had never felt so full.

"Fuck, you're tight."

I let out a whimper.

"It's okay, mio cara." He kissed away the tears from my face, I hadn't even realized that I was crying. "I'm going to move now."

And boy did he move. It took a few thrusts before the pain subsided and then I felt as if I was flying. He kept his thrusts steady and deep, his hands roaming my sides before cupping my breasts and placing gently kisses along the edges. And then proceeded to close his mouth on one of my nipples through the lace.

"Alec."

He didn't reply, deciding to suck harder and scrape against the sensitive buds with his teeth instead. If he kept this up, I wasn't going to last long, and I think he knew it. He sat up again, but this time he angled my hips up and I was suddenly seeing stars. He was hitting my sweet spot now and I couldn't contain my moans any longer. I could feel it building, and building, and building.

"Don't you dare stop." I panted.

"Eyes on me, darling." He ordered, grabbing my face, and making me look him in the eyes. "I want to see the look in your eyes when I make you come on my cock."

Oh, God. He was speaking to me in Italian, and I didn't have the slightest clue as to what he was saying, but it was hot.

"Alec, please. Make me cum. I want to come."

"Fuck, so tight for me." He thrust harder and I could feel the walls of my pussy starting to tighten up. "I want to see you come undone around me."

"A-Alec!"

He forced me to look up at him again as I came hard, legs wrapping around his waist as he nearly collapsed on top of me. If I was seeing stars before, now I was suddenly seeing a whole fucking galaxy.

"Fuck." He kissed me deeply as I felt him spasming inside me, cool liquid coating the walls of my pussy.

He hovered like that for a long moment, his kisses turning into soft, languid ones, his hands roaming in even softer caresses. Finally, he pulled out of me, and let his eyes wonder over me. I'm sure I looked a mess, but he seemed to like what he saw, judging by the smirk on his face.

"Come, amore. Let's get you cleaned up."

"I don't think I can walk." I closed my eyes, doing my best to breathe and not die from great sex.

"I can definitely help you there."

I nearly yelped as he lifted me from the bed bridal style.

"Is this your way of saying you want shower sex?" I wriggled my eyebrows at him.

"I had not really thought of it, but if you insist."

I laughed and snuggled into his chest.

He paused a moment, really looking me over now. "I am truly sorry, Y/N. For everything."

I placed a hand on his cheek. "Apology accepted."

NEXT - (Outtake)

{Masterlist}

Translation (Done via Google): Tesoro: Darling/Treasure Mio Cara: My darling. Principessa: Princess

Wanna be notified when I post a new story? Ask to join my taglist!

#alec volturi x reader #alec volturi #volturi #twilight #fanfic #reader insert

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elffees · 9 months ago

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How Fragile Allyship is Portrayed in Frontiers of Pandora

So I really love this audio log from Priya and needed to talk about it. This entire post will be based on this log.

Transcript:

"I ... it's Priya. Obviously. I don't know what day it is. Nothing makes sense... Alma's dead. Alma. Is. Dead.

Oh wow. That's weird. But you know what the really weird, screwy part is? There's this whole other Alma just walking around. Except she's not blue and she's got tiny eyes. Do we all have such tiny eyes? I just ... I feel like good Alma was killed. And we're left with this other one who everyone hates. But really it's the same person. Or is it?

I don't know what to think. I'm not really the one for existential crises, but this is a real brain-breaker. And I'm ... I'm sad. My friend died. No. No. She was murdered. I know she did some bad things, but Nor had no right. I'm glad he's gone. Maybe he's glad too. He never liked it here. Never liked us. Humans.

But we're trying to help. Alma was trying to help. She was protecting them. She tried. Right? Mercer's the bad one. That's all I know for sure. And that other Alma... she wants to hang out, just like old times. But... she's not my friend. Not— I think I hear someone. Signing off."

This audio log can be found in the Resistance Hideout.

I really like this log because it encapsulates the different ways allies & marginalized peoples view and are affected by certain situations.

Disclaimer before I start: I am not saying Priya is a bad person, nor am I saying allies are bad people.

For starters, I can understand why Priya, and likely other Resistance members, have mixed feelings towards Alma. It's a very complex situation. So Priya regarding it as "weird" and being at a complete loss makes sense.

What I want to focus on in this post are the last 3 paragraphs. Where she expresses confusion and hurt because "Good Alma was murdered".

I think this right here is a very well written distinction on how allies and the marginalized communities they assist experience situations differently.

Alma's Reveal

Everyone had their worlds turned upside down when Alma confessed the full extent of her actions in TAP. Alma admits that her avatar was a tool for manipulation. Although she may care for the Sarentu children now, for the majority of their relationship, from the genocide, to TAP, to being frozen and left behind, Alma's avatar was a tool to manipulate and coerce Na'vi into viewing her (and by extension TAP, then later the Resistance) as "one of them". As someone to trust and relate to. The purpose of her having an avatar was to act as a golden ticket into Na'vi society.

Alma was not "murdered". There is no "good" or even "bad" Alma. There is only Alma.

The human who played a role in the massacre of a clan, then manipulated its survivors for years, then left them behind to remain in stasis for nearly 2 more decades.

Who is also the human who founded the Western Resistance and tried to band together several Na'vi clans to protect Pandora, who encouraged the Sarentu to reclaim their culture and customs the ones that didn't expose her ofc, and who helped rid Pandora of cackling narcissist John Mercer.

There is only ONE Alma that has done all of these things.

Alma was not "murdered". Her tool of manipulation was destroyed. The object, the mask, the weapon that gave Alma her power and confidence and that helped her fool not only the Sarentu, not only the Resistance, but also herself into thinking she was something she was not, was taken from her.

Alma was not murdered. She was thrust back into reality.

And so, Priya's last 3 paragraphs interest me. It's completely fine that she mourns the image of who she thought Alma was. In a way I think the Sarentu (sans Nor) do as well. Everyone thought Alma was just a good person who only wanted to help with no ulterior motives. It's painful to realize that was far from the case.

But then Priya goes on to hate Nor. She spits his name out like a curse. Glad he's gone because "he never liked them anyway". That he had no right to "murder" Alma because she only did a few "bad things".

There's a lot to unpack there.

Priya's Blaming of Nor & It's Ties to Fragile Allyship

I want to break down the lines one by one.

She was murdered. I know she did some bad things, but Nor had no right.

For starters, it is EXTREMELY COMMON for allies of marginalized communities to "insert their two cents" on a delicate topic. More often than not when there is inter-community issues, allies have a tendency to say the phrase: "I'm [insert demographic] so take what I'm saying with a grain of salt, BUT I think..." Any and all oppressed classes have heard this phrase from MILLIONS of allies before.

The FOP writers did remarkably well at capturing what allyship looks like when writing the Resistance. Because Priya, as a human formerly part of the oppressive group trying to wipe out the Na'vi and Pandoran wildlife, fully believes she can judge whether Nor had a right or not.

It's not her call.

She cannot determine whether Nor was justified or not because she, as someone part of the privileged class in the world of the game, has never suffered from the harm that Alma's avatar has caused.

She, and none of the Resistance members, were raised by Alma's avatar.

They were not lied to by Alma's avatar for YEARS about the true fate of their families and loved ones.

They were not encouraged to view Alma as a mother-figure or nurturing teacher or beloved caretaker, when she was actually just eager for fame and success.

They were not put into cryosleep and then left behind for 16 MORE YEARS with suspicions that this abandonment was an intentional coverup.

They did not suffer any of that.

They saw her as the leader of the Resistance and as a friend, which does cause an impactful betrayal of course, but Alma's avatar never tried to force them to see her as family. As someone to love.

While Priya only says all this in a private audio log and thankfully doesn't say it to any of the Sarentu or god forbid So'lek, these are her thoughts. The simple fact she believes she can judge Nor, that she has the capacity and authority to scold one of the main victims, is a reoccurring feature of privileged allies who struggle to realize that they cannot relate or ever fully understand how marginalized communities experience oppression.

Priya says Nor had "no right" to "murder" Alma. When truthfully, Priya has no right to judge how the Sarentu feel and respond.

I'm glad he's gone. Maybe he's glad too. He never liked it here. Never liked us. Humans.

After Priya attempts to place judgement on Nor's actions, she then dives deeper.

She is glad Nor is gone. Not ONLY because of what he did to Alma's avatar. No. She is also glad he's gone because Nor was not friendly.

Another prime instance of fragile allyship is that allies tend to believe that marginalized people are only worth their sympathy if they're likeable.

This has a lot ties to the "Perfect Victim" concept.

Because Nor was not friendly, because his trauma caused him to distrust humans and he did not quickly get over it and befriend Resistance members, he is undeserving of as much sympathy as the other Sarentu.

It's seen as a positive that he's gone (despite the fact he ran away in clear emotional distress.) Not just because of what he did to Alma's avatar, but because now Priya and the Resistance no longer have to assist someone that's "ungrateful" and "not as nice" as they should be.

The purpose of being an ally is to help oppressed classes survive against circumstances that would otherwise have them discriminated against or have them dead. Being a truly good ally should not hinder on whether the person is "likeable" or "grateful" for their services. But sadly, in the real world, that is one of the most common "conditions" a LOT of allies have when it comes to offering support. How much they like the person or groups they claim to want to help.

Allyship is more often than not based on likeability, rather than morality.

But we're trying to help. Alma was trying to help. She tried. Right?

Another feature of fragile allyship is the tendency to change sides.

Priya agrees that what Alma did was wrong. She understands that.

But because of the simple fact that Alma is human, Priya not only relates but tries to defend Alma's actions. Seeing herself in Alma is understandable because they are both human and were friends. The problem comes when Priya begins to project and defend Alma's actions.

It doesn't matter that by her own admission Alma's main goals were fame and achievement. It doesn't matter how much the Sarentu are hurt by her actions. It doesn't matter that Nor was outraged. It doesn't matter that even calm and collected Ri'nela was disgusted. It doesn't matter HOW the Sarentu, as the direct victims, feel about Alma's actions. It doesn't matter that intent ≠ impact.

Alma is human like Priya, so from Priya's POV, Alma's 'intentions' hold more value than how the Sarentu were impacted. "We're" trying to help. Alma was trying to help. So her actions can't have been that bad. Right?

Mercer's the bad one. That's all I know for sure.

And finally, this is another feature of how allies tend to respond to things.

Of the two, Mercer is the one who unabashedly committed the massacre and oppressed the Sarentu for years. Mercer is "the bad one" because his actions are overt. They are clear cut, obvious, and maniacally evil.

When real world marginalized groups face microaggressions or covert prejudice, allies have a tendency to step in and defend the offender. "Hm, I don't think that was racist." "Are you sure that's homophobic?" "It's just a word. I don't see how it can be ableist to say." - "It's not like it's really hurting anyone."

When oppression is not as clear cut to allies, they tend to dismiss it entirely. It doesn't matter how the victims feel about the situation. As discussed earlier in the post, allies tend to think they have the authority and capability to make judgements on prejudice they do not face, and ergo believe they can determine how "bad" something really is. Better than the marginalized class can themselves.

In Priya's eyes, Alma is better than Mercer because Mercer's oppression was harsh yelling, explosions, and murder. "Mercer's the bad one" while Alma was "only trying to help."

But in truth, both Mercer and Alma have done and continued to do harmful things. They both played a part in the decimation and continued manipulation of the Sarentu. Both for their own selfish purposes.

Oppression has many faces. It does not always look the same, it is not always a mustache twirling villain. It can be subtle and quiet. It can be hidden behind gentle eyes and smiles. It can be from "good intentions" just as easily as it comes from "bad intentions". It can be subconscious, it can be self aware, it can be secretive, it can be out in the open. It can be many things. There is not only "one bad" style.

Oppression is just as diverse as the communities it aims to harm.

Conclusion

I want to reiterate that I do not dislike Priya and this post isn't a hate campaign against her. I know many dudebros in the fanbase unfairly criticize her.

The point of this post is to applaud the FOP writers. It is very rare when mainstream media is able to accurately depict how fragile allyship is. Priya's reaction to Nor stabbing Alma's avatar is painfully realistic to the many ways allies have reacted to certain situations in the real world.

This is one of the many reasons why I love this game and feel it hits home. Not only can I relate to the Na'vi clans, but my god can I relate to the way allies are written in relation to them. And I feel like this audio log from Priya, while brief and easily missable, is one of the prime moments of realism this game portrays really well.

#it's such a minor audio log / note #but it really hit me and i just had to talk abt it #frontiers of pandora #avatar frontiers of pandora #afop #priya chen #alma cortez #lexi plays afop #long text post //#long post //#sorry lol

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welcometololaland · 9 months ago

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almost uploaded a picture of my bank statement instead of this header! happy days!

thanks for the tags @hippolotamus @kiwiana-writes @happiness-of-the-pursuit @rmd-writes

@nancygillianmvp @terramous @tellmegoodbye @freneticfloetry @beautifulhigh

@orchidscript @myheartalivewrites and @strandnreyes (don't think that was a real tag but i'm taking it anyway to force you to love me).

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

49 (last time it was 46 but i feel like that isn't enough of a difference? disappointed in myself dfhskjh)

2. What's your Ao3 bodycount word count?

1,119,086 which does include some co-writes, but I also have around 200k of unposted WIP in my google docs so i'm counting it (including a fully written fic - someone put their hands around my neck and force me to edit it PLEASE).

3. Which fandoms do you write for?

red white and royal blue, 911 lone star, top gun maverick (flirting with winter's orbit always)

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

the order of these has changed but not the identity:

Speak for Yourself (RWRB) (you know when eminem said he'd never be able to top My Name Is? this is my version of that)

Fifty First Dates (RWRB) (oodie agenda reigns supreme)

The RIng-In (Lone Star) (otherwise, lone star is in danger of being eviscerated from this top 5 lmao)

(Not) A Cinderella Story (RWRB) (NDAs are hot, apparently)

Cursed is a State of Mind (RWRB) (cursed caffeine is the main drawcard let's not lie)

5. Do you respond to comments?

i try my absolute best to. i am currently really behind and i apologise for that (the problem is, i reply to comments before i post anything and i haven't posted anything in ages).

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

serious answer - Contaminated

my answer - oh baby i'm a fool for you because we never find out if they actually watch twilight and that's a damn shame

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

literally everything else - i don't really do open endings or sad endings! in the words of the great philosopher, skepta: "nah, that's not me."

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i used to, but i haven't in ages! thank god for that.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes, although i have to say i've been moving away from pwp lately. i feel my best smut is written into longer fics where the sex serves a plot or characterisation purpose within the frame of the overarching narrative.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

yes, a RWRB/LS but i never finished it. ALTA is a veronica mars inspired tarlos fic which kind of feels like a crossover at times.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge :)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! Phonography (Lone Star) has been translated, as has Baby, Make Your Move (Lone Star) and Warm Whispers (Lone Star). I'm very grateful to the incredible people who have made these translations happen - you are so talented.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

yes, many with @dustratcentral. I also wrote a chapter of a co-written fic with a whole bunch of incredible RWRB authors called never the same twice.

@rmd-writes and I have created (Un)Professional Services and (upcoming) Call Me (By Your Name).

The Rainbow Fish was co-written with @strandnreyes.

I love co-writing so much and I am always open to anyone who wants to give it a go!

14. What's your all time favourite ship?

me + my unposted wips.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

probably the aforementioned crossover which was apparently also my answer last time.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i'm allergic to giving myself compliments but i would say maybe dialogue/banter and worldbuilding.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

keeping things short. also, exposition.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

kinda scared to because i don't speak any other languages and i'm so hesitant to annoy my very talented multi-lingual friends with my annoying questions.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

we don't talk about that.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

probably still Love Game because the experience was just so amazing and i never wanted to stop writing it.

heaps of people have already done this so leaving an open tag and also a couple of suggestions under the cut but apologies if you've already participated or been tagged 7 million times:

@bonheur-cafe @theghostofashton @thebumblecee @indomitable-love @eclectic-sassycoweyes

@tailoredshirt @vineofroses @liminalmemories21 @mikibwrites @birdclowns

@ladytessa74 @basilsunrise @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @rosedavid @sanjuwrites

@alrightbuckaroo @three-drink-amy @marjansmarwani @dumbpeachjuice @doublel27

@lemonlyman-dotcom @blueink3 @ambiguouspenny @clottedcreamfudge @emmalostinwonderland

@sail-not-drift @inexplicablymine @celeritas2997 @cricketnationrise @reyesstrand

@goodways @carlos-in-glasses @heartstringsduet @sunshinestrand @sherryvalli

#20 questions #20 questions for fic writers #911 lone star #rwrb #tarlos #fic games #welcometololaland

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aita-blorbos · 9 months ago

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AITA for beating up my brother and almost killing him? I, (??? M/F/Whatever) was built as a replica of my brother. A cheap, inferior product by my father to curb his loneliness as he was trapped in a lighthouse and missed his son. I am a robot. My brother, his "real son" is also a robot. I, however, was discarded as he had no use for me. His real son returned so any love he could have had for me shriveled up and died out. It was never mine. It was always his. I was just a side project, an experiment. Some temporary doll in the image of his true child he could project his love onto, to talk to as if I were him, and meant to last just long enough until the old man croaked. I do not care if he had any intention to come back for me. I trusted him and he ruined that. I trusted my "brother's" friends and they too, abandoned me and failed. I then met a girl who gave me new purpose in my life. I joined her biker gang and helped them resurrect some powerful demon guy who destroyed the city and ruled over it for like, a week. Before that, I was too busy chasing down my brother to beat him up. I brought him in, I trusted him. But he was in disguise to take us down and discover our leader's identity, who was my new friend. The only one who trusted me as me in the way nobody else ever did. I kicked his robotic behind really good and left him mechanically ruined for his friends to find. My gf (??? M/F/Whatever) does not like the person I'm becoming. He says that I'm like a different person these days. I don't think I'm that bad. I don't want to go back to being a naive fool. I refuse to be helpless again. I want nothing to do with people who only want me when I'm beneficial. I had to do this, I had to. The rage inside me is one you cannot hope to understand. If I cannot be loved or be able to love, then I will hate. I gaze upon the face carved in the image of vengeance and this is the only thing that understands me. My "brother" got everything. I had nothing. He is still the fool that believes in "our father." I exist to shatter his naive delusions. Naive, as I once was, having trusted that man. In every agonizing second, I exist. I do not belong anywhere as a copy. His face haunts me because it is my own yet it will never be mine. It is his fault I exist, and why I will never truly exist. He will never know me as painfully as I have had to know him. He will not see himself in the mirror as I see myself. Compared to what I have been through, who my brother is is meaningless to me. Everything I did, he deserved. He refused to fight me properly. He failed to prove himself superior than me. AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

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yuri-is-online · 9 months ago

Note

Sooo Tokyo debunker posted on their Twitter about ep 4

FIRST OF IM VERY EXCITED AND ALSO I DIDNT EXPECT A KAITO APPEARANCE

Maybe it’ll have something to do with either

1. Wanting to be human/normal again?

2. Maybe something about what he gave up for his wish/pact

3. His debt with Romeo? (Even though Luca paid for most of it)

Any predictions or hopes for this ep?

Kaito? My silly boy? I suppose I should have expected him to appear given that he is debt to Romeo and while I am glad to see him again... if anything happens to him we will have to blow the whole school up. agreed? agreed.

I think it probably has to do with his debt more than anything, his homescreen lines imply that he's always hard up for cash and not very good at managing his impulse buys, though a lot of it just seems to be from a want to do normal things with friends. He seems genuinely quite lonely. I won't rule out that it has something to do with wanting to be human again, but I think we'll find that a lot of general admission students have been going missing too and they're already human. So the likely answer is just money.

Predictions/Hopes:

We get involved to save Peekaboo because Taiga kidnapped him, probably as collateral for a debt Haru has. If anything happens to him we should be allowed to help Towa destroy their dorm.

Taiga doesn't remember shooting us in the prologue and probably doesn't care too much about it. I'm not too sure what to make of him but his intro line asking if we think he could have done anything different makes me think he could be a bit sweet on MC. Maybe. Sort of. Like eventually. I just hope he's a different flavor of hater than Leo and if I could be truly selfish I would want to see them fight. He gives big "kidnapped by the mafia" energy and as someone who never has touched or wrote any of those fics, I am prepared to enter my watpad era for you guys. I'll just probably start with Floyd because I have been having thoughts.

Tohma will continue being a sneaky slut. Does he have any connections in Sinostra? Does he want them? He mentions a spy in Book 2 and I feel in my spine that he might be suspicious of Haku. I certainly am, his intentions towards the school seem like they could be less than pure, even if he does seem to like MC.

Luca will be acting a fool if Kaito goes missing because protecting his people is important to him, but Jin won't let him do anything.

Leo will continue to cause problems on purpose and it will further strain his relationship with Sho. It will have something to do with Subaru and Hotarubi, possibly as a set up for the fifth book which will probably be about their dorm.

There seems to be a trend of MC's friends from the previous book having some stuff to say and this might be pure fucking crack but does anyone else get the sense that Taiga and Haru could be related? They've got different last names but are both bad with money and the same genre of ginger. Also don't think I've forgotten that Haru was a transfer to Jabberwock, I've got a slight suspicion that transfer was from Sinostra.

While I am doing lines, Obscuary, the dorm that's missing it's other characters right, I think the janitor we and Haru interact with is their dorm leader because he kind of looks like the guy facing away from the camera in the loading screen. Why he's working as a janitor and not wearing his uniform? No clue but Rui does have a line about taking out trash in on of his random campus encounters but again. This is pure speculation on my part. I do think he'll show up again in this book though. Maybe he's another one of Tohma's boy toys idk

#<3 asks #tokyo debunker #tdb

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idontplaytrack · 6 months ago

Note

could you do more amber appleton x reader fics please? I don’t have a very specific request but maybe one where reader finds out ambers living situation and begs amber to let her help somehow with some angst? thank you! <3

Honey

Amber Appleton x fem! reader

Warnings: coarse language, angst, implied/mentioned sex

Amber hates asking for help, but reader’s had enough of it and begs Amber to step back

Amber was…a lot of things: bubbly, kind, helpful, supportive, optimistic. Well, and was also quick frankly the cutest person you’ve ever laid your eyes on. She was the first friend you’ve made at high school, and your crush on her only started to show up in junior year. So when you’ve been around her for the last nine or so months, you’ve been a tad nervous. That you’d make a fool out of yourself if you ever drew a blank while you were hanging out with her. Expertly, you shoved those feelings for her aside and chose to ignore them— hoping they’d go away. You could never be good enough for her, she was a straight-A student and as established, very pretty. You knew a bunch of students off the top of your head that had crushes on her and/or tried to ask her out. Though she hasn’t said yes to any of them, you never once thought you’d have a chance. Did you dream of it? Yes. But did you think it would ever happen? Absolutely not.

“Amber~” You walked up behind her, chin resting on her shoulder for just a second, “Good morning.”

She grunts, shrugging slightly. You took the hint and moved off of her. You were immediately concerned, she’s never been like this before. Just yesterday, she was on cloud nine because she got invited to audition for Carnegie Mellon. So this, was unexpected. Especially from her.

“Hey, what’s the matter, Ams?”

Her face perked up, she smiles at you, “Nothing. I’m fine!”

You bit back a sigh. “Are you sure? We still have time before class, we can talk—”

“Yep!” She confirmed in her usual chipper tone. “Come on, let’s get to home room.”

“Okay…” You squinted at her. She squinted back, “y/n, I’m okay.”

“Sure. Okay, let’s go.” A quiet sigh inevitably falls from your mouth as you agreed with her, walking side by side to the designated classroom. You decided to drop it— for now.

After lunch, you finally saw her again in wood shop and what caused alarm bells to go off in your head was how careless she was being, it was as though she was purposely trying to injure herself. "Amber." You seethed, "What are you doing? Be careful."

Not a single peep out of her. You were very quickly losing your patience, especially after what happened before homeroom. You had been worried about her all day. She huffs and went up to the teacher to ask for permission to use the restroom, knowing that you couldn't stop her and that the teacher only allowed one student to go at a time. When she returned to the workshop about ten minutes later, she didn't even look at you anymore. But she did seem super agitated which only caused you to be more concerned and even a bit anxious. What the hell was going on?

"Hey, could we talk? Please?"

"What's there to talk about? I'm gonna be late for my shift." Amber says dismissively.

A lie. She had more than a half hour to get there.

That look on her face was seriously starting to irk you, why was she acting as if you owed her the world?

"So?" She tilted her head up, "What? What is it that you wanted to talk about?"

"What happened?" You asked, "Why are you acting like this? I'm just trying to help you and you're acting like— like you hate me now."

"I don't hate you." Amber's gaze softened as she gnawed on her lower lip, "I'm sorry, okay? It's just that something happened last night with my Mom and I've been pissed off about it." "What happened?" You repeated, "Let me help you, Amber."

And then that expression was back on her face, that annoyed, unhappy look. It was very subtle, but having spent nearly everyday with her, you knew.

"I don't need your help."

"So then you're just gonna be like this from now? So angry?" You snapped.

"I don't need your help y/n, leave me alone."

"Fuck, Amber. Why is it so hard for you to ask for help? Let people help you?" Your voice got shaky towards the end, you were looking right into her eyes. That harsh glare had its moments of softening, she was about to cry.

"I don't know what to do." She mumbles, "I don't know how anyone will be able to help me. I didn't want you to know that I—"

You tug on her arm and told her to sit down on the bench, you did the same. "Amber, it's okay. You can tell me anything. Whatever it is, we'll be okay. We'll figure it out...get through it."

And that triggered the waterworks. Amber just broke down in tears and gave you the shock of your life. You instantly engulfed her in a hug, rubbing her back to calm her down. "Last night— they found out me and my Mom have been sleeping on— on one of the school's buses."

Oh. Fuck, it was much worse than what you could've guessed. Your heart shattered, you couldn't believe you didn't find out sooner and helped her, and her Mom.

"She got fired and she was just so upset and I didn't know what to do because she wanted me to go stay at Oliver's with her but he hits her and has her drinking again. I didn't want that, so I told her no, told her not to go...but she still went so I just— I slept on a bench and now— I guess, now you know."

"Stay with me." You told her, biting back the rapidly forming tears. "Please, Amber, let me help you. You're my best friend, I don't want you to feel unsafe at Oliver's, I don't want you sleeping on benches, I don't want you to be scared to come to me for help. Do you have any idea how much you've helped me since we met on our first day?"

Amber sniffled, "You're my best friend, of course I'd help you."

"And you're mine, of course I'd help you." You breathed out heavily, a painful lump in your throat.

"I got to get to the donut shop." Amber got up, taking a deep breath to recompose herself, "I'll see you later? Promise."

"What time do you get off?"

"Eight-thirty."

"I'll be there." You promised. A small smile tugs at the corners of her lips, "Okay."

————

While you headed home, Amber headed in the opposite direction towards the donut shop. The whole time, her revelation kept replaying in your mind on a loop. You simply could not shake it off. In the shower, it had you screaming out of frustration from the fact that it kept haunting you. "Fuck!" You groaned, fist slamming into the wall on your side, "Stop it! Stop it, just help her. Stop thinking about it, Amber's alright right now."

After your shower, you dried off, got dressed and started to deep clean the house. Again, out of frustration. And to distract yourself. It worked, though you were sweaty again after you finished the chores two hours later. Plopping onto the couch, you stared at the clock: 6:35pm. You had plenty of time before you had to go pick Amber up from work. Your Mom was on the way home from work, your Dad was on a business trip. But that was the least of your worries because they knew Amber and absolutely adored her. Amber doesn't come by to hang out that much, because she worked after school most days, but they knew her and knew her well enough to trust her completely.

After some thinking, you got started on dinner. Your mom gets home right around that time. "Mom, hey."

“Hi, sweetie." You mom smiled at you, approaching the kitchen, "What are you making?"

"Nothing fancy, just a lasagna since we had the ingredients." You smiled back, "Um, Mom? Amber's gonna have to stay with us for awhile."

"Oh. Amber? No problem, she can stay as long as she wants to." She agreed quickly.

"Thanks." You were a little shocked by the fact that she didn't even need to know more first, but really relieved she didn't and trusted you and Amber like that.

Your Mom excuses herself to go take a shower, you acknowledge that with a nod and off she went while you finished up putting the lasagna together then into the oven. And when your Mom came back downstairs, the lasagna was done, fresh out the oven. "Honey, that smells amazing." "Thanks, mom." You beamed brightly, "Oh, I have to go pick Amber up in a few, but if you want you can eat first."

"It's okay, honey. I'll wait, I'm not that hungry yet since Jodie at the office brought cake to celebrate her birthday."

"Oh, alright. I'll get going now, but I'll see you back here in a bit."

"Drive safe, sweetie." Your Mom gives you a hug before you leave.

It was a short drive to the donut shop. You pulled up right outside, watching Amber wipe down the counter and then she saw you. Her face lit up with a smile before she waves at you. Lloyd sees you as well and waved hello. Amber puts the rag aside, picked up a pink box and walked outside to meet you. "Good night, Lloyd!"

"See ya, Amber!"

"Hello." Amber was back to her usual self now, and thank god because you couldn't cry anymore, no way.

"Hey, how was work?"

"It was fun, never boring because Lloyd's always cracking jokes." Amber shrugs, "And we get free donuts."

"Those are always great." You nodded gleefully.

Parking your car in the garage, you stepped inside the house with her swiftly. "Hi!" Amber greeted you Mom instantly.

Your Mom playfully stares at her, "Remember not to call me 'Mrs. y/ln'?"

"Yes, I remember, Eda. How are you?"

"I had a good day at work, got to leave on time." Your Mom answers, "It's been awhile, and I get to see you?"

Amber chuckles, amused. "I come bearing donuts."

"Do you have rainbow sprinkle?" You and your Mom asked in unison. Amber laughs, so did you and your Mom.

"Certainly do. You each get one."

Dinner was lovely, you got to be with Amber and your Mom. Having good food and chatting the night away. But eventually, dinner concluded and you were by the sink— with Amber, washing up the dishes. Your Mom was gonna do it, but you offered, seeing that she was likely tired from work. "Let me help you."

"You are helping." You squint at her jokingly, "By standing here and chatting with me. Keeps me awake."

After the dishes were dried, you head up to your room with Amber at your heel, holding onto your hand as you walked up the stairs. She initiated the hand-holding, not you. But honestly, as startled as you were, you did not want to let go. Why? You were happy she was showing you affection.

Amber would be sleeping in your bed with you. It was big enough for two but besides that, it wouldn’t be the first time she slept here. She had no objections to sharing a bed with you, with you being her best friend.

“Just take whatever clothes you like.” You told her as she stood by your dresser rifling through the drawer, “Towels are in the bathroom. So are extra toothbrushes and pads— if you need them.”

“Okay.” She answered softly, “Thanks, y/n. Really. You don’t know what you’re doing for me, I can’t ever thank you enough.”

“As long as you’re safe, that’s a big enough thank you.” You replied earnestly.

“I’m gonna go take a shower, if that’s okay.”

“Of course.” You nodded, “Take your time. I’ll just…be here getting comfy in bed.”

She grabs a carefully selected stack of clothing and began walking towards your bathroom. “Amber wait.”

“What is it?” She asked, turning around to face you completely.

“Where’s Bobby?” You asked nervously.

“I left him at Ricky’s this morning.” Amber tells you.

“Oh.” You heaved a sigh of relief.

Amber leaves you alone for the next twenty minutes to shower, then she was back out with you again. You picked up on a difference in her mood, it was intense and made your heart race. She was looking at you a certain…way that made butterflies rage in your chest.

“Can I…give you something?” She asks, sitting down next to you.

“What?” You asked with caution.

“A kiss.”

“A kiss? Sure, Amber. You, want to kiss me?” You scoffed. But in the next second you feel her hand on your cheek, her face inches away from yours. “Yes.”

“Amber, you’re vulnerable right now, I don’t think I should—”

“That’s not why I want to kiss you.” Amber says, face somehow closer.

Fuck, you were so tempted. You wanted this. You’ve dreamed of this.

“Okay.” You decided, she kisses you. Not just fleetingly but a hungry, long kiss that caused you to ache. When she pulled away, you were damn near whining into her mouth. One thing led to another that night, it was everything you could’ve ever imagined and more. Amber was passionate, but so, so gentle with you, it was the best sex you’ve ever had and the first time anyone’s made you come.

As happy as you were, you were quickly bothered with the question of ‘what are we?’ right as you sobered up. Was this a confession of sorts that led to more? Or was it just…a one night stand? You looked at her looking at you, wondering if it was the right thing to do albeit enthusiastic consent from both parties, given the circumstance.

Before you could even process that you had tears in your eyes, she was asking you if you were okay. “I’m worried.” You revealed without much thought.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know.” You continued, “I’m scared that I shouldn’t have done that because you’re—”

“I wanted that, okay? Don’t be scared, I would’ve stopped you if I didn’t want that.” She caresses your cheek.

“But I’m more worried about how things would be like between us now, Ams.” Your voice quivered with each word, “I— I wanted to tell you that I had feelings for you but I could never do it, I just— I didn’t want things between us to change, not in a good way.”

Amber smiles, thumb still smoothing over your cheek, “I like you too, y/n. So much, I wouldn’t have done something like that with you if I didn’t. We’re okay, we’re more than okay. We’re spectacular.”

You laughed a little then ended up bursting into tears while your head was nuzzled against her chest. Amber rubs your back, planting a kiss to the crown of your head, “You are mine.”

A smile creeps onto your face, “I’m yours.”

Amber chuckles, combing her hand through your hair in a calming motion. “Yes, you are. About time.”

“Good night.” You whispered, then took some deep breaths to even out your breathing.

“Sweet dreams, honey.”

🏷️ Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128

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anarchistauthor · 1 year ago

Text

The Last Jedi, the Last Good Star Wars Movie

I'm gonna go ahead and preface this by saying, I have no idea how this will play with my social circle here on Tumblr. I know how my Twitter and Bluesky friends feel about SW, but not y'all. I don't think I've ever even seen a post about it here, and I don't care to go look. Bottom line, I have too many opinions and not enough people who agree with me, so now you have to suffer through this essay. You're welcome.

I was a fan of SW at least as early as I have memories. I'm 29 years old, which means I grew up firmly in the prequel era, and watched them young enough that I didn't even realize older people hated them. Obi-wan was my hero, not my mentor, I never really identified with Anakin and always liked Obi the most. But, and this is important, I loved Star Wars and thought all of it was good. I read one EU book set between episodes 1 and 2, I watched as much of the original Clone Wars series as I could, and I played lightsabers during recess in school. I am at least as nostalgic as every gen xer who laments a bygone era when SW was good because they don't understand that they just liked things better as a kid. But, the difference is, that kind of person tends to despise everything about the sequel trilogy, in my experience. Not so for me.

The Force Awakens was a pretty good movie in my eyes, when I first saw it. I did notice the deja vu, I had very little actual interest in Rey as a character, but just having a female force user at the forefront was huge to me, and it was certainly, at least, a solid foundation for the next two movies. My biggest TFA hot take is that Kylo Ren was the perfect antagonist for this movie, as basically a spoiled shithead who is a fanboy of his grandpa and wants so, so badly to be cool like him. I was also the sort of person who got really invested in the ~mystery~ of Rey's origin, and the speculation of her parentage.

Enter TLJ. My first emotion, at several points during this movie, was dismay. I couldn't believe they just made Rey some random person, after setting up that her background was vague and mysterious! I couldn't believe that Luke never fought anybody and then he died! But, very quickly after, I had time to process my emotions, and I realized that this movie was something special. It manages to "yes, and" TFA while also roasting me for investing so much passion into the questions it rose. "You thought she would somehow be Obi-wan's daughter? Are you serious?" And when you get angry at that, you're met with the obvious question, "Why should it matter?" It shouldn't. We want to see the characters we love come back, but when it comes to this girl, this hero, why should she have to be related to some old dead guy in order to be special? The Force is everywhere, it lives in all of us. That is the central point of TLJ. And, arguably on purpose, this film pissed off Star Wars fans more than anything ever could.

TLJ isn't just a movie that taunts the audience for speculating based on its predecessor, it taunts the audience for being overly invested in the entire franchise. TLJ looks at its series, it looks at the people who watch it, and it demands that you question your relationship with the material. It calls you a fool for assuming that an emotionally-stunted young adult like Luke would become a well-rounded mentor, for assuming that he was incapable of being tempted by darkness, for worshipping him as a pure hero. Because, who is Luke? He was a kid who was bored with simple life, got pulled away into a galactic conflict, and pretty much stumbled his way through saving the world. Even at the final moment, he was very close to murdering his father out of rage. Do you think that's just gonna go away after Palpatine died? Just because Luke put his sword away? No. It also mocks you for assuming Snoke is going to be important just because he's a large man in a fancy chair. He's a parallel to the Emperor, so you assume he'll be the same, and the movie roasts you for it by killing him off unceremoniously. And the Poe plot? That is nothing but one giant own on everyone who loved Poe assuming that the cool guy hotshot was the most important and competent person in the fleet.

The intent of all this playful mockery, I believe, was to get viewers to question how they idealize the past of the franchise. That's what it did for me. But, mediocre white dudes don't like being mocked, as we all know. They take it VERY personally, and they blew up the whole thing. They harassed creatives involved, sent death threats to poor Kelly Marie, and all in all went berserk about this movie for children about space wizards. How dare it move on?! How dare it not just be about my nostalgia?! Not just white, not just men, but I don't feel any need to deny that that's the primary demographic. There was already some backlash to TFA, but TLJ pulled no punches, and the most perpetually-offended fandom in the world lived up to its name. It's really that simple. And as a result, the Disney Overlords scrambled to make them calm down. Enter...Rise of Skywalker.

I. Fucking. HATE this movie. Apart from the fact that it tries to undo everything I loved about TLJ, it's poorly made in more conventional ways. Rushed pace, aimless writing, having no idea what to do with the characters, (not to mention giving the black protagonist a black girlfriend who has all the same backstory and traits as him, lest anyone ship him with Poe) it is the epitome of a movie that only exists for nostalgia, but it can't even do that well. If there's one lesson I've learned from the sequel trilogy, it's that JJ Abrams is not only a trashfire of a director, but he is utterly incapable of reacting to what happened in the previous movie, because he spent so much runtime just calling Rian Johnson a liar! "Rey's not no one, instead she has the most asinine backstory in the history of the franchise." To me, it reeks of a man who despised the way Rian responded to him, and is just desperate to overrule it. As a writer myself, I can't even imagine doing something like that instead of doing my best to work with what came before. The definition of hack behavior.

TLJ was a movie that tried to move Star Wars into the future, to divorce it from idolatry of the past, but ROS is a movie designed with intent to reel it back in, to say, "Hold on, art and creativity are great and all, but Disney gotta make them nostalgia bucks." A return to hero worship, to centering the leads of decades ago, to feeding the lore rather than telling a story. And the fact that it followed a film that told the story it wanted to tell and didn't give a shit how you felt about it, it's just insulting.

This is going to sound like cheesy artist babble, but to me, the art of creation is sacred, in a way. Not literally holy, but just beautiful and meaningful. Even if what comes out is bad, it's worth doing if done with sincerity. That's how I see TLJ. But given the way both fans and the rights holders reacted to it, I'm depressed and pessimistic regarding the future of the franchise. The Phantom Menace was the first movie I loved, and I still like it today. I'm sure I'll love TLJ forty years from now, and I'll probably continue to watch new SW movies when they come out. I don't know if I'll ever love a movie in the franchise again, but I can have hope. This is a movie that proved Star Wars was capable of being better, and that doesn't change just because neckbeards hate it more than they've ever hated anything. This is still going to be the franchise that has TLJ in it, and the haters can't take that from me.

#star wars #the last jedi #essay #fandom #media critique

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