#i am THAT CLOWN whose hopes are up even though i should know better!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

makeste · 4 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 292: You Say Jeans

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “well anyway here’s that Touya reveal I foreshadowed like a million years ago, viva la 2020.” Dabi was all “hello world, I’ve killed 30 people and today I’m going to explain to you all why” before he proceeded to explain ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but everyone was so distracted by his tale of child abuse and hero conspiracies that they didn’t much seem to notice. Can’t Ya See-Kun’s Shark Friend was all “IS THIS THE END OF HERO SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT”, and Horikoshi was all “STAY TUNED”, and then Dabi set himself on fire and leaped off of Machia’s back like the chaotic evil, I-just-bleached-all-my-brain-cells weird little fire man he is, ready to burn everyone to crispy bits before they could even react properly to his whole big revenge speech. Fortunately he did not succeed on account of THE RETURN OF THE JING, THE JOAT, BEST FUCKING JEANIST, back from the dead by popular demand in what critics are calling “the best fucking comeback since Jesus himself.”

Today on BnHA: Best Jeanist snatches up Machia and the rest of the League with his fiber steel cables before you can say “more like BEAST JEANIST amirite.” Dabi gets all worked up and lights Hadou on fire which is a real JERK MOVE, and is all “THIS RIGHT HERE IS ALSO ENDEAVOR’S FAULT”, which, NOT SUPER CONVINCED ON THAT, BUT OKAY. Anyway so then he burns up all the cables holding him which is crazeballs btw, and then he and Shouto start fighting, and so basically the whole thing is a literal hot mess and we’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile Tomura wakes up and summons some Noumus, and poor Jeanist has to deal with those on top of the still-attempting-to-rampage Gigantomachia, and everyone else is all “we can’t help you on account of we’re all half dead”, and so it’s looking really bad. And then -- and I can’t stress enough how much I don’t even have the faintest idea how to segue into this next part -- the chapter ends with Mirio!?! just sort of POPPING UP OUT OF THE GROUND all, “SURPRISE, BITCH”, and it literally was so surprising that I am still just kind of speechless. WELL-PLAYED, I GUESS, lol wtf.

lol okay so the first page in the RHA scan is just the “three musketeers” movie promo image that we all already saw a few days ago. but it does confirm that (a) it is indeed a movie, and (b) that it’s set for a summer 2021 release! how exciting

okay so now back to our special Dabi edition of Making a Murderer

“ray of hope” oh hell yes. SAVE US MR. JEANIST

I guess he had a TV in his private hero jet or something?

gotta say, “dammit Dabi” does not even remotely sound like Authentic Best Jeanist Dialogue to me though. gonna need Caleb to see to this. well but what do you guys think? does Best Jeanist curse?? I personally feel like he’s one of those guys who NEVER EVER swears no matter what, except under the most hilariously trifling circumstances. like he’s eating an avocado one day and he accidentally stains the cuffs of his beloved jostume green and he’s all “FUCK”

btw how fucking rich is Best Jeanist though that he has his own fucking plane? the thought just suddenly occurred to me, you know? like even Endeavor, whose agency has its own on-site luxury apartment suites for all of his interns, still drives around in a dinky little car that Bakugou has declared to be too small. which, I guess we know why he felt that way now, seeing as the guy he previously interned with apparently gets around in Jeans Force One

anyway so back to the part where Jeanist shows up to save the day!! YEAH JEANIST WOOOOO

ILU JEANIST YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST!! HUGS AND KISSES!!!

lmao we just saw Gigantomachia take out like a hundred guys not ten chapters ago. and Best Jeanist shows up and takes him down in like two seconds. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES LEAGUE OF VILLAINS. BET YOU’RE WISHING YOU’D TAKEN HIS QUIRK NOW, AFO. GET FUCKED YOU OLD SPUD

KACCHAN IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM AWW

SIDE NOTE, IIDA, YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE WORDS LATER ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY AGREEING TO PUT HIM BACK DOWN. YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CHILD IS STILL DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM HIS MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS, RIGHT? WAY TO ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY THERE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CLASS PRESIDENT NOT THE CLASS CLOWN, COME ON NOW

LMAO DABI IS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO DO THE PLOT MATH

SHOULDA CHECKED MORE CLOSELY MY GOOD MARK. LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED THE “MADE IN CHINA” STICKER ON THE BOTTOM. YOU HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. OR ACTUALLY, I GUESS THE MORE ACCURATE WORD HERE IS JAMBOOZLED, AHAHAHAHA. JEANS

HOLY SHIT DABI

I legit almost thought that was Tomura for a second. you two look so alike now with the white hair and the crazy eyes

meanwhile, Shouto is still crying and it’s a lot to take, you guys. lotta feels

ffff come on Jeanist you better do something awesome again here, the mood of the chapter is starting to slip now

YES, GOOD, THAT’LL WORK

WELL YOU TELL ME, SPINNER. I GUESS THAT MEANS BEST JEANIST IS OFFICIALLY THE STRONGEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES NOW. SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES

ffff now Spinner is trying to wake Tomura back up. nah, how’s about we not do that

OH MY GOD HADOU YESSSS

MY GIRL OUT HERE WITH THE “NO THANK YOU” BOUT TO CURBSTOMP THE BIG BAD WITH HER QUIRK KSFHLKLK WHO HERE HAD “HADOU SAVES THE DAY” ON YOUR WAR ARC BINGO CARDS, YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!!

HEY!!!!

fucking son of a... fffkfkff... someone please reassure me that fire isn’t Hadou’s weakness. someone. anyone. also could someone please dial an ambulance and send them to Horikoshi’s house. but not just yet. first I’m gonna need you to wait about fifteen minutes or so while I take care of some things

well all right then, Dabi. so you wanna go on then and explain to us all how this, too, is somehow Endeavor’s fault?

oh I see, you’ve decided that since he’s responsible for “creating” you, everyone you hurt and kill is in truth really being hurt and killed by him! well now, that sure is convenient as fuck I guess

(ETA: that’s a nice effect with the panel sides getting all warped by Dabi’s quirk though, just noticed that.)

amazing how quickly you used up that sympathy card my guy. Shouto please kick his ass, I’m fucking done lol, you can all sort out the rest in therapy later

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DIAL BACK DEKU’S EMPATHY STATS JUST A LITTLE BIT, HOLY --

“TODOROKI-KUN IS HURT THE MOST”, HE SAYS, WITH HIS ARM BONES SHATTERED INTO LITTLE TOOTHPICK-SIZED PIECES. I MEAN, HE’S PROBABLY TALKING MORE ABOUT MENTAL ANGUISH GIVEN THE CONTEXT HERE, BUT STILL. THAT’S ENOUGH HEROICS FROM YOU ALREADY FOR ONE DAY

NOOO JEANIST

LOTS OF SMOKE IN THE AIR RIGHT ABOUT NOW AND MY BOY’S STILL DOWN A LUNG. GOD DAMMIT

“if the number one suffers a total loss here, this country will fall to pieces” well okay, real talk though, I think the “country falling to pieces” part is pretty much unavoidable at this juncture. you all are just gonna have to try your best to pick up those pieces after the fact and see what you can do with them. if I were you I’d be less worried about the number one’s reputation and more concerned with the half-dozen child soldier interns who are still on the field and very much at risk of being burned to death should you suffer that “total loss.” please try to keep it together here for them

OH FOR FUCK’S

I really thought RockLockRock was gonna come into play here. USE YOUR QUIRK TO LOCK THE ROPES IN PLACE YOU DIP!! if he seriously just sits there and does nothing when his quirk could be the deciding factor I am cancelling his useless ass cute kid or no cute kid shfkjdls

(ETA: is he even there?? did he and Manual just hightail it out of there?? “well good luck, children.”)

also, we’ll put this aside for now to perhaps speculate about later, but what’s with Tomura remembering his dad’s house yet again in that far right panel?? and being itchy again?? I still have yet to fully work out the psychological mechanisms at work as far as his itchiness goes, so I’ll admit this is intriguing to me. it seemed like it was connected to his decay quirk, but then why is it acting up again now. what is this lol

yuh oh

forgot about these guys. looks like these heroes aren’t having such a fun time

oh fucksticks

excuse me ma’am but I don’t like this. you do know that my kids are all there, right. all burnt and impaled and broken-boned and the like. well except for Iida. he’s fine still. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I FEEL LIKE WATCHING HIM GET TORN APART BY FOUR HIGH ENDS, WTF

HORIKOSHI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

god fucking... okay look. Horikoshi. you win, okay!? congratulations, you win, this is your show and we’re all just sitting here at your mercy. fine. go ahead and just kill off everyone ever, then!! what am I even gonna do about it. stop reading?? fuck

this whole thing really went from zero to fucked before I could even blink huh. I really thought this was gonna be a turning point chapter for the heroes. shows what I know I guess??

meanwhile this motherfucker is just SCREAMING

ngl, if I wasn’t currently terrified on account of things suddenly taking such a drastic turn for the worse, this would be the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Jeanist my man, I hype you up like it’s my job because you are the greatest fucking meme character in the history of time, but make no mistake, you are also highkey WORTH ALL THE HYPE AND THEN SOME

seriously, though. don’t fucking mind him you guys, he’s just standing here in the coolest pose of all time taking on Gigantomachia all alone with one fucking lung because the substance pumping through his veins is COLD-BLOODED LIQUID DENIM, and DENIM FEELS NO FEAR

Best Jeanist really needs to get his own theme song. -- oh my god I just finally thought of a title for this post. lmao and it’s the dumbest thing. omg

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKI BROS ARE OFF IN THEIR OWN DRAMATIC LITTLE FIRE WORLD

which one do you think is the Mario and which is the Luigi. well, but I mean, Dabi clearly thinks that he’s the Luigi though and that’s why he’s so mad. nobody wants to be Luigi. what a life

THAT’S IT, SHOUTO!! POINT OUT ALL OF HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT, I WANT ANSWERS

JUST TO CLARIFY, IT’S THAT NATSU, NOT SOME OTHER NATSU!! SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!!

OH, WELL IN THAT CASE

BUT OF COURSE. THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE, holy shit. okay I’m just gonna go ahead and say it, Dabi is a piece of work. I really thought this arc would make him more sympathetic at long last, but it seems like it’s doing just the opposite?? this is like an anti-redemption arc. I don’t relish the thought of venturing into the fandom tags once I finish reading this lol

(ETA: well folks, I’ve done it. and actually it was pretty interesting because there are apparently like ten different things that people are mad about, and so it’s like. each post is a new adventure lmao.)

so Shouto is all “BRUH HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT” and Dabi is all “YES”, basically? like, he says he’s completely lost his feeling for anything. omg. but you were so sweet. how does that even happen

“finally I can kill you” okay for real what the heck is your damage bro?? can we not. I like Shouto just the way he is, un-killed

oh shit and now the Noumus are here

cue Bakugou diving in to save his mentor, STAB WOUNDS BE DAMNED!! actually it would make more sense for it to be Iida, but if Kacchan is really fixin’ to go full Shounen Dumbass here then he might as well go all out, y’know

-- unless of course, Deku decides to activate another quirk??

“last I checked, the main character of this series was still me” OH? WELL I SUPPOSE THAT IS TRUE, SO PRAY TELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT LEFT UP YOUR SLEEVE YOU SUICIDAL BRUSSELS SPROUT

fucking love how he’s all “HAHAHA WITH MY NEW QUIRKS I CAN STILL DO STUPID SHIT EVEN WITH MY ARMS AND LEGS GROUND TO A FINE POWDER” btw. what can I say. Deku gonna Deku

FMMFHDKUHK W H A T

HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT THE WHAT. QUE THE FUCK

(ETA: okay look, all the love in the world to the brave scanlators who take time out of their lives to translate the leaks every week just so we can read the chapter a couple of days early like the addicts we are. that said, translating Mirio’s signature “POWER!!” -- which was already written in English in the original scan -- to “POG-CHAMP” is just a whole new level of wtfuckery from them lmao. is the Lida person back at it again?? amazing.)

MIRIO!?!?! SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY?!?! POGS HIMSELF UP OUT THE GROUND TO BEAT THE NOUMUS LIKE IT AIN’T NO THING. JUST LIKE WE ALL PREDICTED!? I’M SORRY, DID YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE FROM ASTROLOGY DOT COM DIDN’T HAVE THAT ONE IN THE CARDS?? WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS?? TODOROKIS PLUS BEST JEANIST EQUALS MIRIO??

hot damn. Tintin really saw the writing on the wall with the impending Dabi Discourse and was all “NOT SO FAST” lmao. “HERE’S A BRAND NEW THING FOR YOU ALL TO DISCOURSE ABOUT” MIRIO YOU WILD CHILD. YOU GLORIOUS THUG

MEANWHILE LET’S NOT FORGET WHAT MIRIO HAVING HIS POWERS BACK ACTUALLY IMPLIES. HOLY SHIT. SUDDENLY WE CUT BACK TO ALL MIGHT’S OFFICE, ALL THE WAY BACK AT UA. ERI BRANDISHES HER TOKOYAMI-GIFTED BUSTER SWORD, A DETERMINED GLEAM IN HER EYE. “I HEARD YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC WITHOUT ME.” OH. MY. GOD

#bnha 292 #best jeanist #todoroki touya #dabi #todoroki shouto #midoriya izuku #hadou nejire #toogata mirio #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

489 notes · View notes

starfire-s · 4 years

Text

here’s a list of the best, mediocre and worst kdramas i watched in 2020

no one asked for this but it’s happening because i have thoughts (also all opinions are my own if you disagree then get well soon i guess... no i’m kidding make your own posts about it don’t hate me please) ahsjsj anyways click to read a lengthy post and if you actually read the whole thing then thank you i hope you enjoy this wild ride!

THE BEST KDRAMAS -

mystic pop up bar - this show had everything i ask from a kdrama literally i can name it all found family (to real family), well thought out characters, a mystery plot, special effects, soft romances that were well written, a happy ending! no show in 2020 even comes close to how good this one was! the writers literally guided you throughout the whole thing so you could come up with theories and didn’t do a ‘aha! gotcha’ thing where they want to prove the audience wrong but they wanted us to be right and satisfied! the worst part about the drama is that it’s still so underrated and people just brush it off as some random fantasy show but it’s so much more than that! 1000/10

flower of evil - who doesn’t want to see lee joon gi being the son of a serial killer, living with the name of a man who is in a coma, and hiding his real identity from his wife who is a detective? this show constantly had me at the edge of my seat on a weekly basis so the emotions i went through while watching this are unparalleled! the writers also did such a good job on writing a coherent story that made sense and tied up all the plot points in the end. just a really satisfying show to watch! 10/10

where your eyes linger - i literally bought a $8 viki pass to watch this show so it should tell you everything you need to know about how i feel ahsjsj the episodes were 10 minutes long but we got a good story with well written characters who got character development in a total of 80 minutes it’s insane! honestly it’s still hard to believe this show had rookie actors because they were just so emotive that you could feel all the happiness, sadness, yearning and pining! probably one of my fave kdramas this year because of the acting that i always constantly rewatch! would recommend 10/10

crash landing on you - okay so this drama was actually released on my birthday last year and it was a time in my life when i was going through a lot so maybe it’s the comfort this show provided me through that time this is why i have such a soft spot for it? like the romance was good, it was funny, there was found family, the nk soldiers were all softies, there were strong female leads, soft male leads!!! ahh!! no other show on this list made me think about the unification of south korea and north korea irl because i wanted se ri and jeong hyeok to be together 4ever! but the only issue i had with this show was the ending they gave seung jun if they didn’t do that i’d give this show a 10/10 but just for that they get a 9/10

psycho but it’s okay - this was one of those shows where you’re literally like ‘wow everyone here needs therapy’ but this show was amazing i loved the story telling and how each episode related to children’s book/fairytales! the writers also did a good job with how carefully they talked about mental health in depth without villainising their characters but actually tried to make the audience understand why they were this way which included all the side characters too who had a well thought out story in each episode! also the dynamic between moon young, kang tae and sang tae was everything to me the actors all did an amazing job portraying their characters, it truly was a healing drama. the only thing i didn’t like about this show was the whole plastic surgery plot with the mother like that was very far fetched but it provided drama so i’ll let it slide because the rest was amazing. this show is a solid 8.5/10

18 again - another underrated gem! who would’ve thought a remake of that zac efron movie could be this good!! lee do hyun stole this show for sure the way he portrayed his character and gave heart eyes to his kids (when he’s only 25 irl was the best thing i saw this year ahsjs) i loved the family dynamics in this show, i loved how it talked about what it’s like to be young parents and how society still think it’s taboo to be divorced! it’s a show that makes you laugh and cry at the same time and that’s why everyone should watch it! however, the biggest clown thing this show did to me though was that i got sls for the first time while watching a kdrama... hwang in yeop if u’re reading this i love u and u deserved better 🤡 that aside this show was a 8/10

itaewon class - i actually didn’t watch this drama as it was airing because i thought i wouldn’t enjoy the plot but when i watched it i binged the whole thing in 2 days and my biggest regret is i didn’t watch it sooner! everyone knows i have a soft spot for park seo joon since he’s my favourite actor i’ve literally watched all his dramas like he could star in the trashiest drama out there and i’d still watch it and be like wow (looking at she was pretty 👀) this show aside from the acting had one of the best revenge plots in a kdrama! just watching a character realistically hustle his way to reach the top while fighting the corrupt man whose son killed his father was so so satisfying to watch! however, the love triangle in this show was questionable idk what they were trying to do with that but it personally annoyed me! but still i’ll give this show a 7.5/10 because i enjoyed it a lot!

do you like brahms? - kim min jae and park eun bin.. that’s all you need to know about why this is a good kdrama! i’m usually not a big fan of melodramas and everyone knows i prefer rom coms but this show was just so perfectly melo that i loved all the angst and pain we got!! also just watching two introverted people awkwardly fall in love was amazing! the characters story arcs were also handled pretty well with song ah finally learning to speak up for herself and joon young learning to express how he truly feels! but... the love square? was probably the most annoying thing the rest in my opinion was nicely done! i know people had mixed feelings about the ending but i loved that after all the pain joon young and song ah went through they got a happy ending together! 7/10

find me in your memory - okay this show started off very slow and it was confusing at the start but as it progressed everything in the plot started to fall into place! i mean this show really took opposites attract to a new level where the male lead could remember every single detail from his life but the female lead had to forget some of her traumatic memories to help her cope with her life! they were also tied together through a mutual character who was a big part of their lives in a different way! just an interesting melodrama with interesting characters i liked it! and moon ga young... i love you queen!!! 7/10

THE MEDIOCRE KDRAMAS -

more than friends - was the storytelling in this show groundbreaking? no. was the acting decent? yes. also probably the main reason i stuck with this show until the end! i think we can all agree lee soo had the best character development on this show he started off as a bad boy who wore one ear stud to actually becoming a well liked character... who else did it like him? no one. also the chemistry between the mains was 🔥 but the second male lead was so annoying is there a opposite word for second lead syndrome because i had that for sure! i think the best part about this show was the people i watched it with on here... shoutout to the five of us ahsjsj also this show introduced me to a talented actor/singer like ong seong wu (y’all know my kpop knowledge is nonexistent so no i didn’t know he was in a band called wanna one) all in all a predictable show but i had fun watching it so 6.5/10

tale of the nine tailed - i didn’t actually watch this show i watched it through gifs and instagram posts ahsjsjs so am i qualified to talk about my opinion definitely no... will I talk about it anyways yes lmao. lee rang deserved better that’s all goodbye and take care. 5.5/10

start up - probably one of the most awaited opinions. y’all thought this would be in the worst kdramas section but i decided to give this show some rights. the show started off strong, lost it’s way after episode 6 and then the last episode gave me what i wanted so i have mixed feelings. the writing was not the best i think we can all agree, love triangle as a plot device? wow so groundbreaking 🤡 the characters on the other hand... i loved every single one of them i mean ship wars? i don’t know her. the show had a lot of potential that was wasted but we also got some cute moments between the characters so there was really no winning or losing with this show? but in all honesty you can’t put a talented cast together like this and then just decide to give the audience a mediocre plot but the writers did exactly that! i think i can redirect y’all to my ‘crimes this show committed’ post for a in-depth analysis. lastly nam do san was a GOOD and REFRESHING male lead and ji pyeong was also a GOOD and FUN second male lead!!! this show gave me the ugliest ship war ever that i was transported back to my high school tvd days so thank you for that!! but the cast was loveable and all had a lot of chemistry together so here’s a 5/10 maybe that's too generous but... i think the reason why i didn't enjoy watching this show as much was definitely because of the tag on here lmao

THE WORST KDRAMAS -

the king eternal monarch - i miss clowning this show so much. the amount of braincells i lost while trying to understand this plot... i should be compensated by the writers. however, woo do hwan was a treat to look at on a weekly basis... however the writers kept decreasing his screen time even though he had a dual role... make it make sense? and i cannot comment on the plot of this show because i still don’t understand anything? also in my opinion tae eul and lee gon were the most bland couple of 2020, there was no chemistry between them and there was just a random kiss in episode 5 and they randomly said i love you... where was the development? also lee gon was soooo boring and such a one dimensional male lead! literally all the side characters were so much more interesting and the cast was good... but this plot. 2/10

do do sol sol la la sol - i wanna fight the writer who decided that the plot twist on the show would be that jun is a minor? i had no expectations from this show but it looked cute and nonsensical but that plot twist made me run the other way so fast that i never looked back! just because jun is a boy they really thought this would be excused like lmao we all have critical thinking skills???? the clown behaviour. a solid 1/10

record of youth - i hate this show so much. imagine not utilising park so dam who just starred in the biggest oscar winning movie to her full potential. imagine just making her a love interest to park bo gum’s character in the year 2020. i watched it up until episode 6 and i kept waiting for her character to get development... but it never happened so i dropped this show. also this show featured the MOST useless love triangle i have ever seen in my life like what was the point? also park bo gum’s characters family was straight up annoying (minus the grandpa) but they got so much screen time like that should’ve been given to park so dam... also villainising a gay side character for no reason at all in the year 2020? this show was a waste of my time i want the 6 hours i spent watching this back. -100/10

backstreet rookie - i watched one episode of this and literally wanted to rip my eyeballs out of my head. idk what ji chang wook was thinking when he signed this drama i think he lost his ability to read because that's the only reasonable explanation for why he chose to star in such a dumpster fire show! this show had a racist character... had a high schooler kiss an adult... sexist jokes... just the worst things you can think of in a drama... this show had it. i still can’t believe so many people watched this show to the point where it had better ratings than pbio... really made me question everyone’s taste? but sorry can’t relate my taste is excellent so here’s the rating this show actually deserves -1000/10

if you made it this far... thank you for reading. let’s continue to love some kdramas together and get clowned by others in 2021! looking forward to it 😅

456 notes · View notes

hardskz · 5 years

Text

a penny for your thoughts.

pairing — han jisung x female! reader

genre — trope inversion of the soulmate au, college au, enemies to lovers, angst and fluff-ish, smut; oral, possessiveness kink, praise kink, safe word, size kink, first time

synopsis — life isn’t easy when you belong to the 1% of the world population that has a soulmate, know who your soulmate is and happen to be utterly in love with said soulmate’s best friend. alternatively, jisung can hear all of your unfiltered thoughts and has heard enough of your horny fantasies to the point where he wants to throw up, so he takes matters in his own hands.

note — i think i’m gonna cry this work is my 11k word BABY i’ve never been THIS invested over a fic. this is purely self-indulgent and an emotional rollercoaster ride if you ask me. this fic is all over the place it’s chaotic and i apologize in advance for many italics you are welcome i hope you CRY and SUFFER with me because completing this bitch was a midlife crisis in itself. that being said, i appreciate any form of constructive criticism so pls go ahead and rip my baby apart sdkjl

“You’re staring again,” Hyunjin notes. Seungmin and Jeongin stifle a burst of laughter while Felix, whose head is resting on Hyunjin’s lap, sends you a look that resembles Candace from Phineas and Ferb whenever she finds her brothers creating some whacky futuristic shit, laughs like a madman and then resumes to call her mother with an ear-splitting MOOOM! because she’s so certain that her brothers are busted this time.

“Am not,” you huff as you tear your eyes away from the guy just sitting a little bit farther away from you, basking in the warm glow of the sun. Today he’s sitting in the perfect angle, giving you the best view on his side profile. His signature cap is perched right on top of his head but even then, you can see how his eyes brighten up and how the corners of his lips tug upwards as he laughs at his friend’s joke.

“You’re a worse case than the Mary Sue protagonist of every romance anime ever.” Seungmin snorts before he playfully nudges your side with his shoe. “Just say you want Seo Changbin to bang you and go.”

“Hey! We have a child present!” Hyunjin chastises, to which Jeongin rolls his eyes.

“I’m not a child. We’re all in fucking college.”

“Fine, not a child then. The baby has been corrupted! Don’t swear, it sounds so wrong coming from you!”

“Shut up. It’s called freedom of speech!”

“It’s ‘shut up Hyung’ to you!”

Felix groans in distress and is probably rethinking his life choices. Seriously, what does Felix, resident hopeless romantic, see in Hyunjin? Sure, he’s good-looking and a great friend when he’s not bitching around or hovering over the nearest trash can after taking too many shots. But a romantic? Please, Hyunjin can’t even eat without making a mess out of his shirt.

“I don’t want him to bang me,” you mutter and receive a collective ‘yeah sure’ look. “Fine, I don’t want him to bang me only. He’s nice,” you retort before your eyes flit back to him for a millisecond. By now, Changbin has put his hands on the grass and is leaning back, enjoying the sunlight while listening halfheartedly to the other guy blabbering.

“And hot. We get it. Now get dicked,” Seungmin deadpans, earning flabbergasted looks from everyone and a smack from Hyunjin.

“Show a little more empathy, you dickwad. She’s whipped.”

“Anyway—“ Felix sits up, earning a pout from Hyunjin but he blatantly ignores it, and directs the conversation back to the previous topic before the other two bump heads, “(y/n), you have his number. You’re not strangers, so why don’t you just make a move?”

You glance at him with horror in your eyes. “What do you expect me to do? Ring him up and ask him to hang out with me because I find him cute?”

“Uh, duh? Last time I checked, that’s how you ask someone out.”

“Absolutely not.”

“New idea.” Seungmin butts in. “Why don’t you ask Han Jisung—“

“No.”

“Agreed.” Hyunjin shoots you a nod of approval before Seungmin can start yet another interrogation about your bitter hatred towards Jisung. Jisung, who happens to be said friend of Changbin that is laughing beside him right now. “He must think he’s so much better than us because he’s hanging out with the senior geniuses of the music production major. Then again, Seo Changbin and Bang Chan are on a different level than us commoners.”

“Speaking of Chan,” you quickly say to steer the conversation away from the personification of everything you hate. “Where is he? It’s so weird seeing the trio incomplete.”

This time, Jeongin chimes in. “Haven’t you heard?”

“Heard what?”

“Chan and that one language major — you know, the one who collapsed a while back?” When all he’s met with are clueless faces, Jeongin sighs. “Seriously, you guys should keep up with campus news. I swear, everyone and their mothers already know by now. But anyway, they’re soulmates. It’s also the reason why Chan has been pulled out of the boxing team until the end of the semester and had to cancel their training camp as soon as she broke down.”

Felix does a double-take. “But Chan’s the ace of the boxing club!”

“It is what it is.” Jeongin stretches his legs out, shrugging. “What else is to expect when you have the proximity link and need to be around your soulmate within a certain distance unless you want death?”

“Poor guy. Must be a smack in the face for him, now that he’s got a soulmate and happens to have the worst link one could have.” Seungmin says.

“The tattoos are worse though.” Hyunjin fires back. “I mean, you’re literally born with a tattoo of your soulmate’s name and then grow up knowing that you have one? And even if you never meet them, you won’t have better chances with others if you want some romance. Who in their right mind wants to have a lover who’s got someone else’s name tattooed on them since birth?”

“No one.” You chuckle. “Absolutely no one.”

In another lifetime, another universe, you and Jisung would probably be on better terms. He’s sunshine on legs and looks decent from an objective point of view.

In another lifetime, another universe, you’d like to believe you’re childhood friends and have been neighbors ever since your first shit in your diapers. Perhaps you would be clowned from being inseparable once in a while, but you’d go with it and then shrug it off as if it was nothing.

In another lifetime, another universe, you’d like to believe that being soulmates doesn’t equal the downfall of two people. Sure, the fact that people are bound to each other and the danger of growing too dependent on that person remains, but it probably won’t be so frowned upon. Probably. Hopefully.

However, as much as you want to twist it, another lifetime is not this lifetime, the reality.

In reality, you and Jisung are only neighbors because the universe has some kind of inexplicable hatred towards you. Seriously, you must’ve done something wrong in your previous life to be punished in this one. And because the universe has sadistic tendencies and loves to make you suffer, the laws of the universe are just as equally fucked up.

The concept of soulmates is a lot of things, but most of all, it’s a mystery. There are endless possibilities for soulmate links, not all of them discovered. And unlike popular belief, soulmates do not have to necessarily share the same link. So voilà, even more fuckery from the universe.

There’s only one reason that justifies your wholehearted, unfiltered hatred towards Han Jisung. Well, only one reason that seems justified in this lifetime.

The tattoo is simple; just fine black characters under your collarbone that are nicely hidden under high-cut shirts.

But the fact that it’s his name tattooed on you since birth remains.

“Let me crash here for the night.”

“No.”

“Let me crash here for the night, please.”

“My answer is still no.”

The exasperation is plastered on Jisung’s face as he tries to keep his temper in check. Truth be told, it’s damn satisfying seeing him wanting to rip your head off but refraining to do so. Perhaps you’re enjoying this more than you expected at one o’clock in the morning. For the past five minutes, Jisung has been asking you to let him stay over for the night. You’d save him out of his misery and help a neighbor out who locked himself out of his apartment at this hour — well, if he wasn’t Han Jisung.

By now, he’s growing more impatient with every further rejection. “Oh come on, all my friends live on the other side of town and you can’t expect me to ask the old grandma next door! At this rate, I’m gonna freeze to death overnight!”

“Then go break a window or something,” you deadpan, ignoring the dramatic hand gestures he’s making to accentuate his words.

“The fuck? I’m not going to break into my own place.”

Not wanting to draw out the pointless conversation any longer, you’re about to slam the door shut when he blocks your action with his foot. “C’mon, just this one night. Please.”

He’s not budging anytime soon. His bullheadedness reminds you of Seungmin, who always tries to get Hyunjin wasted whenever you attend those Greek frat parties. Seungmin, who always succeeds in getting Hyunjin wasted, followed by Hyunjin hugging a bucket for the next few hours as he tries to get over the hangover. With a defeated sigh, you gesture Jisung to come inside and don’t wait for him until he’s taken his shoes off at the entryway.

“Look, I know you don’t like me—“

“Well, ‘don’t like’ is putting it very lightly—” you scoff once he’s caught up to you in the living room. It’s not exactly spacious; the couch takes up most of the room and college assignments are spread all over the minuscule coffee table.

“You could at least treat me like a decent human being.”

That statement is enough to get your ears flaming. You whip your head in his direction, voice getting louder. “How can I when your existence is making my life worse than it already is! And I mean it literally! Just seeing your name whenever I look at myself through the mirror sickens me!”

“Stop acting like you’re the only victim here.” Jisung snaps back in the same manner. If there was a little bit of etiquette in the first place, it has all vanished now. “I’m not having it easier when all I hear from you is the dozen ways you want Changbin to fuck you dumb!”

You freeze.

“Cat got your tongue? It’s already bad enough that you have those kinds of thoughts about my best friend every single day.”

“But I thought— y-you had the proximity link?!” This has to be a joke. A very bad one at that. His proximity link is the very sole reason why you lived next to him. His soulmate link is the only reason why you’ve been stuck together like glue since you could walk.

Jisung taps his foot impatiently, running his hand through his hair. “That’s what I thought too until I started hearing things that nobody said around me. First, it was just a few thoughts every other day, but now you’re like an annoying radio that I can’t switch off.”

“Why didn’t you tell me then? I would’ve—“

“Stopped fantasizing about Changbin’s dick? And then you would’ve jumped to the next person. I don’t care if you like him or not, it’s none of my business. Changbin’s hot, anyone with eyes can tell. Besides, it’s not like you have a chance anyway…”

You feel your blood boiling at his underlying message and cross your arms. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jisung doesn’t bat an eyelash and says in a mocking tone as if stating the obvious. “No doubt that Changbin will make you feel good. But could you return the favor?”

That’s a low blow. Even for Jisung, that’s a low blow.

“I get that you’ve got a dirty mind. But those are just fantasies. Could you really execute them just the way you had in your head? You don’t even have experience in the first place.”

“If I sucked you off right now, you wouldn’t even be able to speak properly!” God knows what went over you when you countered. At this point, rage has taken over your brain and you don’t even realize what you just said right away. Not that it matters anyway; all you see is red.

Jisung just raises a brow, clearly unimpressed by your outburst. “Prove it,” he challenges casually and then flops himself onto the couch, legs spread wide. It’s an open invitation. “Go ahead, make me see reason with your oh so mind-blowing skills.”

The only thing you’re able to do physically is gape at him. He is joking, right? As if he actually means it—

“I knew it. Shameless in your head but too flustered to say it out loud, let alone following up with your bold statements.”

That seals the deal. You’re fuelled by anger and the desire to prove him wrong as you drop on your knees and are on eye level with his crotch. However, your spirit dissolves the longer you silently stare and realize that you have no fucking clue on what to do. Jisung is painfully aware of that too.

“I’m more terrified than turned on seeing your angry face.” He lets out an exasperated sigh before he pulls you up and directs you to sit on his lap. “Obviously it’s not working when neither of us is in the mood. You gotta get in the mood first,” he mutters, hands settling on your hips.

The look in his eyes is more composed now, but you can tell he’s being observant. As if you have clues written all over your face, he keeps you under his stern gaze. Then his eyes droop lower to your lips and he slowly leans forward.

Not even a second later, you firmly plant your hands on his shoulder and push him back. “No lips.”

If Jisung is judgemental about your sudden stunt, he doesn’t comment on it. “Anything else, your royal majesty?”

You’re too tired to react to his mockery and roll your eyes. “No marks.”

“I can work with that,” he mumbles more to himself rather to you. Then he leans forward again and buries his face in the crook of your neck. Surprised by his actions and new to the unfamiliar sensation, you tense up. Jisung seems to take notice of that too.

“Relax,” he orders, rubbing circles on your hips to help you loosen up.

Well, that’s easier said than done. It’s already bad enough that you’re gradually exposing yourself as the complete amateur you are, and out of all people who could’ve been the first to do any form of sexual advances on you, it just had to be Jisung. Perhaps you shouldn’t have rejected that one kid in high school who was the only one who ever had a crush on you. Even if that kid wasn’t your type and not a serious commitment anyway, maybe you would’ve at least some sort of experience with dick.

“A-ah—“ your breath hitches when he nips on the patch below your earlobe. He smiles against your skin as if he just made some scientific discovery and swipes his tongue on the same spot, eager to make you squirm. Not wanting to slip up anymore, you clamp your mouth shut with a hand.

“Let me hear you, baby. Just relax, I got you.” When the fuck did his voice start to sound lower and raspier? Where did ‘baby’ come from? All rationality and resistance leave your body when he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him.

The cologne of musk lingers strong on him, almost intoxicating even, and you can’t form a cohesive thought anymore. The only things you are painfully aware of are an arm forcing your chest flush against his and his hot breath all over your neck.

You’re so far gone that you fail to notice that you’ve started grinding on his lap. Jisung moans softly into your neck as he encourages you to move with his hands.

“On your knees, baby,” he whispers after a while. A rush of disappointment runs through your veins once he detaches his lips from you and slides you off his lap, but all of that is forgotten once you see the prominent bulge in his pants.

Right. There’s a reason why you ended up in this predicament in the first place.

Jisung urges you to touch him with a simple nudge. “C’mon, baby. Take it off.”

You don’t waste time discarding his sweatpants. Just when you’re about to tug his underwear off, you notice the wet patch on the fabric. A surge of mischief washes over you as you boldly cupped his hard-on over his boxers, causing an obscenely loud moan from him.

He flinches, definitely not expecting that brashness from you, and throws his head back. “S-stop teasing me already and take that goddamn thing off or God help me what I’m going to do if you push my buttons.”

That. That was a threat. That dealt much more damage to you than you like to admit.

As much as you want to watch him break and see if he’d make his threats come true, you decide against your feelings and hook your fingers under the waistband and tug the fabric down in one swift motion. A groan leaves Jisung as his cock, fully hard and leaking precum, is exposed to the cold air. He’s certainly above average; on the longer side probably, and you’re conflicted on whether to think fuck, I want him in my mouth right now or fuck, how on earth is that supposed to fit into my mouth?!

You don’t get far with your inner conflict when a hand grabs a fistful of your hair and slowly urges you closer. The next thing you know, something is tapping your lips and before you fully register it, the tip of Jisung’s cock lies heavy on your tongue.

You carefully look up and meet Jisung’s hooded eyes. His shirt has ridden up a bit and flashes just a little bit of his toned stomach. That’s just enough of an indicator to see that Jisung is holding himself back, in case his irregular breathing hasn’t been a dead giveaway.

Jisung opens his mouth, about to say something, when you give an experimental suck on his dick. “Do something— f-fuck, a little more, baby.”

That’s enough to build your confidence up. You slowly take in more of his dick, sucking carefully and making sure to cover your teeth. The rest that doesn’t fit in your mouth is barely covered with your hands, and you messily try to coordinate your hands, switching between rubbing the base of his dick to cupping his balls.

“Mmh, use more pressure,” Jisung whispers, not trusting the stability of his voice when you fondle with his balls. A groan leaves him when you suck harder on his cock and switch back to swirling your tongue around. For a total beginner, you are holding yourself up better than he expected. Fuck.

“Focus on the tip fir— hhh- aa-ah...” His brain blacks out for a moment when you swirl your tongue around his tip and dare an experimental hum, the vibrations going straight down to his dick. The grip on your hair loosens, but it’s still firm enough to experience a sharp tug. “You’re doing good baby. So good.”

The combination of his sounds, the decent taste of precum on your tongue and the way his adam’s apple bops is enough to send you into sensory overload. You notice the way Jisung tenses his thighs, as to keep them still. You’re about to pull out completely to prevent your drool from getting on your face. However, before you get the chance to complain, he forces his length back on you that it grazes the back of your throat, nearly making you choke.

“Fuck, I— I’m gonna— s-soon—“ he hisses and you take it as a sign to speed up. At this point, your jaw hurts and a mixture of drool and precum drips down your chin. It’s borderline disgusting if you think about it, but the delectable sounds leaving Jisung compensates for it.

He sharply tugs on your hair, ordering you to pull off, but you slap his hand away. “I’m going to spill in your mouth if you don’t pull off right now—“ Jisung chokes on his words when you interrupt him with a hum as if to say so what? It doesn’t help that you’re looking up at him with teary eyes and a lot of conviction, even though you’re visibly struggling to keep half of his dick in your mouth.

When he cums, it’s accompanied but drawn out moans, and you forcing yourself to swallow the horrible texture. It’s not horrible per se, but you’d gladly refuse to swallow a second time if you were given the choice.

Jisung looks down at you with flushed cheeks and is about to wipe off the drool or cum or whatever liquid is staining your bottom lip, but you quickly block his hand. “I’ll clean up by myself.”

For a minuscule second, he looks defeated; he looks borderline disappointed, but before you can pinpoint his feelings for sure, his expression changes. “But what about you?” he asks, eyes raking down your body and stopping at the waistband of your pants.

“I’ll deal with it on my own.” You shrug, avoiding his eyes. All of sudden, you find it hard to breathe in the room as the realization settles into your brain. You just sucked off Jisung. Jisung, out of all fucking people.

“You sure?” Your eyes flit to him who looks like he’s been observing you the entire time. His breathing has calmed down, his lips look a little bit plumper than before and his hair sticks out in all different directions. Looking at his current state makes you feel sick, and your undying hatred for him starts growing again. It’s your fault that he looks so fucked out and—

Why the fuck did you even do that?

“Yes. Now stop asking before I change my mind and kick you out.”

Before he can have the last word, you turn on your heels and rush into your bedroom, ignoring the fact that your underwear is practically drenched.

You wake up to the smell of pancakes emerging from the kitchen. “What are you doing?”

“I’m making breakfast?” Jisung throws you a questioning look and then plates the last batch of pancakes from the pan. “It’s the least I can do after you were friendly enough to let me crash on the couch.”

Your eyes wander to the countertop to the two plates stacked with pancakes. Jisung finishes up the second plate and hands it out to you.

You stare dumbly at the plate. It’s too early for your brain to mouth filter to work, so the first thing you spit out is, “How do I know you didn’t poison it?”

“Are you fucking serious—“ Jisung squeezes his eyes shut, mutters something inaudible under his breath before he puts on the fakest smile he can muster. “I can take a bite if you really insist.”

“Give me that plate.” You point to the other plate on the counter. Presentation-wise, it looks the same as the one Jisung is offering you, minus the visible steam.

“There. Wanna switch again or can I finally eat?” he scoffs when you walk past him to get cutlery and sit at the dining table; it’s essentially a round wooden table where one of the legs is about to break. Two plates and a pitcher at most take up the entire surface. You really should consider buying a new table, but you have better things to spend on rather than that.

From your peripheral vision, you see Jisung rolling his eyes. Perhaps you were making an entire unnecessary circus, critically cutting through the pancake and inspecting each and every side before stuffing it in your mouth. But again, in your defense, it’s too early in the morning to show basic etiquette towards him out of all people.

You have to admit that visually, the pancakes look good. What you didn’t expect were the pancakes to taste just how they look. It looks like you couldn’t contain your surprise in you, judging by the amused smirk that finds its way onto Jisung’s face as he claims the chair across from you.

“As if you could actually cook,” you splutter because there’s no fucking way you are giving him that satisfaction of the day.

However, it seems to bemuse him even more. “You literally eat this every day and know the recipe by heart. With the excessive number of times you recite the ingredients a day, obviously, something got stuck in my brain,” he explains while cutting through his own portion.

The rest of breakfast is spent in silence. You both finish at the same time and while you’re washing the dishes, he’s stayed put in the chair, mindlessly checking something on his phone.

“You didn’t have to cook, you know. You could’ve just left.” you start. It’s already awkward enough that he’s still here. Bloody hell, you should’ve just waited with the plates and ushered him out of your place instead of just getting away as fast as possible from the table. Now that you think about it, this was probably the only time you two were somewhat amicable at such proximity. (Even if you didn’t talk at all. Still, it’s progress.)

He drops his phone on the table with a soft ‘bang’. “It’s the least I could do. Besides, I was starving too.”

“In other words, you’re taking advantage of my fridge?”

“Exactly.”

Just as you’re drying your hands, he’s about to leave. “I’ll get going, lecture’s starting in a few. And, uh, thanks for letting me stay here.”

You just shoot him a weird look. “You already thanked me once. How often do you wanna repeat yourself?”

Jisung rolls his eyes. “Fine, next time I’ll just leave without a word then.”

It’s when he’s finally out of the door that his last words sink in.

“Yo, I have pics of sweaty Changbin in a jersey. How much do you wanna pay for those gems?”

You nearly choke on air. “What the fuck?” Really, that’s the only appropriate reaction.

“Hyunjin, this needs more context.” Felix looks like he’s seriously second-guessing his taste in men before shaking it off with a sigh and elaborates. “He’s been trying to find out some scoop about Chan for the campus blog and caught him in his angry boxer mode and Changbin was also there assisting him. Hey, did you know that Chan doesn’t tape his hands before punching the bag? Fuck, that’s so intimidating but so hot at the same time—“

“Yah! I’m your boyfriend! How can you say that in front of me?!”

Changbin. Changbin in a jersey. Changbin in a jersey and drenched in sweat. And Hyunjin seriously has HQ pictures of that Changbin.

It really, absolutely shouldn’t have been the first thing that crossed your mind, but the idea of that Changbin — bonus if he still has anger pent up in him — barging into your place and instantly throwing you on the bed—

“I’m not a perverted creep who’s gonna buy pictures of him that he doesn’t even know exist. Besides, isn’t that a violation of his rights? He never consented to those pics. This is college, you’re only working for the campus blog, not fucking Dispatch.” you deadpan.

“So you don’t even want to take a sneak peek at a picture?”

“No.”

You barely stepped a foot into your apartment when Jisung storms out of his own place and stops in front of you. “You fucking liar.”

“Excuse me? What the— hmph!”

The next thing you know, Jisung forces his way into your hallway, slams the door shut and crowds you against it. His face is invading your personal space, eyes enraged and jaw locked. Even though his anger is far from justified as you haven’t glanced at him ever since he stayed over, a tiny part of you believes that you pissed him off for good. It's not the first time you witness him angry. However, it's the first time you witness him look as if someone murdered his family and was trying to get revenge.

“I thought you took care of it yourself!”

“Took care of what?”

“Did you already forget that I can read your mind?!”

You scrunch your nose, trying to connect the dots in his words. It doesn't take long for you to realize that there’s no point in trying. A frustrated groan leaves you. “Why are you getting so riled up? I just breathed and you stormed into my place!”

“‘Bullshit. You weren’t just breathing,” he snaps, and you flinch when his hand lands a few inches beside your face with a loud pang. “You were thinking of Changbin again! And I mean that in the thousand sex positions and locations you want him to bang you kind of thinking! And also—“

“Also what?”

“I know you’ve been pent up for days. Seriously, why don’t you just get off like every other sane human being?”

His brutal delivery leaves you flabbergasted. How the fuck does he know that? No. No. No. He doesn’t know. He can’t. Just because he can read your mind doesn’t mean that you didn’t pleasure yourself after giving him that blowjob. Jisung’s probably bluffing — he has to be bluffing.

“W-why should I answer you?” you stutter. Suddenly the walls look much more interesting. When was the last time you painted the walls? Maybe it’s time to switch things up—

“Are you really about to get all cocky with me? Give me a break.” Jisung chews on his bottom lip after little deliberation. “You wanna know why? Because one of my best friends is going through a hard time that can utterly destroy his entire future thanks to the fucking universe! If that isn’t stressful as it is, I also see and hear all kinds of things you want Changbin to do to you. And your fantasies are also affecting me.”

You stare at him as if he sprouted eight new legs. “So you’ve also been…?”

“Sexually frustrated? Fuck yes. And it’s all your fault. So take responsibility and do something against it before I do.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“So what if I am?”

A cold shiver runs down your spine once you meet his stone-cold gaze. Frustration is displayed all over his features, from his labored breaths to the raised brow. He’s not playing mind games this time, he’s actually frustrated.

There are a billion red flags, a billion blinking signs saying NO DON’T YOU EVEN THINK OF DOING THIS! DON’T BE A FUCKING IDIOT in your mind. There are so many countless reasons why you should listen to your head, but the way Jisung is lusting after you is terrifyingly attractive.

You don’t trust your voice to respond verbally. Instead, you look down at your trembling hand and tug at the hem of his shirt. It’s just then when you also realize that your thighs are clenched. Fuck.

Jisung takes the hint. In the blink of an eye, he’s yanking you to your room, kicks the door shut with a loud ‘thud’, and manhandles you on the bed. You’re too stunned to react, and gulp when he hovers over you and strips off his jacket, leaving him in a white shirt that doesn’t hide his toned arms.

“Use the color system, alright? Green when everything is alright, yellow when you want me to slow down, and red when you want me to stop for good?” he asks.

“I know what the color system is,” you mutter, tearing your eyes away from him.

“That’s not an answer to my question.” he presses.

“Fine, color system it is. There! Happy? Now get on with it—“

Jisung pins your wrists above your head vigorously. “You don’t call the shots here. I do.”

Your stomach swoops. You really should’ve listened to your brain. This Jisung isn’t comparable with the Jisung you sucked off a few days ago. That Jisung was cocky — he’s always cocky, what are you even saying — but he still gave you room to breathe. This Jisung is downright scary.

“Good thing for you, I know exactly what you want me to do—” he starts sinisterly as his thigh settles firmly between your legs, pressing up against your clothed core. You suddenly regret wearing a skirt. “—and trust me baby, even if I couldn’t read your mind, I would do all those things because that’s what I plan on doing to you regardless.”

The look he gives you should be illegal. He shouldn’t be in the position to look down at you, as if he’s the king and has free reign over the consequences you are about to bear. Your head suddenly feels dizzy, and it’s way too hot in the room. It’s as if your bedroom has morphed into some vacuum as you’re desperately trying to breathe. Your system ceases to function once he presses his thigh even harder on your cunt, and all you manage to make is a pathetic whimper.

A menacing grin makes its way to his face. He’s clearly thriving on this ego-boost and continues to grind his thigh on you until your hips start to sway along. It seems like you found your voice again once he leans down and nibbles on your neck. Your moans are barely audible at first, but they slowly turn into drawn out mewls and labored breaths.

Your eyes snap open when he suddenly retreats his thigh and holds your hip in a vice grip, stopping you from moving. “W-what the fuck? Why did you stop?”

“Tell me what you want me to do.”

“Huh?” You squint at him. “But you can read my mind!”

“I want you to say it out loud.”

There’s no way in the universe that you’ll do that. You’ll gladly wipe off that shit-eating grin out of his face whether he likes it or not, but with his hold on your wrists, that is deemed impossible.

You should say something out loud though. Yellow. That would save you from the humiliation. You could regain at least an ounce of control, not feel so pathetic anymore. It’s a simple word, just two syllables, six letters. The tables can be turned to your advantage. It’s easy.

You don’t.

“You’re embarrassed, aren’t you? You can’t say all those filthy thoughts in your head out loud because you’re ashamed, huh? Not when you love feeling so powerless, subject to anything I do to you. Face it baby, just admit that you’re a needy little bitch who wants to get off on my fingers so bad, and I’ll give you what you want,” Jisung growls in between hot, wet kisses he leaves on your neck.

“I—“ you whimper after some difficulties, “I’m your needy little bitch w-who wants to get off on your fingers.”

Jisung’s head pipes up, his face just hovering a couple of inches away from yours. With that little distance between you, you know it’s not a trick of the light and that his eyes are blown up with hunger, hunger, and more hunger. "Not just any bitch, but mine? Do you like it when I call you mine?"

You nod. From there on, it’s a chain reaction.

He wastes no time slipping his fingers past your panties, mindlessly trailing along your folds. You throw your head back in pleasure, bucking your hips into his touch. A cry leaves you the moment he slips a finger inside you, his thumb simultaneously flicking your clit. It’s sensory overload, rendering your rationality to a standstill.

Your utter downfall is marked once Jisung adds a second finger, never slowing down. He groans at the way you clench around him like a maniac, and the sounds he makes send jolts all over your body. You’re writhing under his grasp at this point, overstimulated by everything yet at the same time, you feel your arousal slowly fading.

“Does my baby feel good? Are you close?” Jisung asks, nipping on your earlobe.

“I don’t know,” you whisper.

“What do you mean, ‘you don’t know’?”

The pit in your stomach grows. You’ve never experienced claustrophobia, but right now, it’s like everything’s suffocating you. “A-as in I don’t fucking know!” you exclaim shakily.

Jisung stops his movements. The weight on your wrists is lifted, and he looks at you, face unreadable. “(y/n), color. What’s your color?”

“Green. It’s just...” your trail off, avoiding his eyes.

“Just...?”

“I’ve never come before,” you confess in defeat. You really can’t believe that Jisung out of all people is the one to make the call of judgment. “I mean it! I’ve tried getting myself off but I never managed to... so cut me some fucking slack because I’m trying my best here and am still new to everything!”

Jisung stays silent. He stares at you in… confusion? disbelief? You really have no clue how to read his expression. Something negative for sure, though. He’s Satan’s spawn, for fuck’s sake. He’s probably thinking twice about going down on you, thinking about the gravity of a mistake he’s dealing with this time. He just has no clue how to articulate his irritation—

“You’re so cute, fucking hell,” he whispers.

You do a double-take. What? What did he say?

A small chuckle escapes his lips. As if he doesn’t mind. Wait. He doesn’t mind. “I’ll take good care of you. Trust me on this,” he says.

“That’s a little late coming from you, your fingers are literally up my vagi— h-ha-aah—“

“Just shut up and let me do the work.” Jisung rolls his eyes as he works you up again, fingers moving at a slower pace this time. Within minutes, he’s reduced you into a panting, stuttering mess. “You look so tiny and helpless underneath me. How adorable,” he coos, to which you just whine.

“Yeah? You like it when I call you tiny? Like it when your tight cunt already feels stuffed with just two fingers? Maybe we should stretch it to a third one, think you can handle that?” he presses on. That’s when he rams his fingers into a particular spot, making you arch your back. A knowing smile makes its way onto his lips. “Found it.”

“N-no, fuck— t-too much—” you babble, but he continues to abuse your sweet spot without remorse.

An unfamiliar pressure builds up in your abdomen, threatening to burst. Your whines grow louder, breaths shallower. You squeeze your eyes shut as you thrust your hips into his hand, desperate for more friction. “Jisung, I think I’m gonna—”

“Oh no, not like this,” he growls. “Keep your eyes open. I want you to look at me when you cum. So you’ll remember that it was me who made you cum for the first time. It’s me who’s making you feel good.”

That is easier said than done. You manage to open your eyes, though with a lot of difficulties. Scratch that, your eyes are barely open. Jisung is a blurry image, and you’re unable to register everything he says, the sound of his fingers squelching in your heat blaring in your ears.

You deem it fucking impossible to keep your eyes open when your orgasm hits you hard, body spasming from the sensation. But you keep on trying, keep forcing to set your eyes on him.

It’s all worth it though when the reward you get is a proud smile on his face, as well as streams of praises coming from his mouth.

It’s a continuous pattern that goes as follows:

1. You spend your days glued to your friends.

2. At least one of them (usually, it’s Seungmin) preaches how you should get your shit together and ask Changbin out.

3. Somehow, Changbin manages to leave a strong presence in your fantasies and you end up daydreaming about a scenario that stars him, you and a bed (if you’re feeling more daring, any other kind of surface or object he could pound you into.)

4. Jisung notices and forces the horniness out of your system.

5. You tell yourself that it’s the last time Jisung has such control over you.

And then the cycle repeats.

But here’s the thing: you find yourself doing no. 5 you with less conviction the more it happens. No. 5 is a formality at this point. You don’t know when you went the wrong path, but are you really in a position to complain? Jisung is good with you, he’s good with his fingers, even better with his mouth.

But then there’s this side of Jisung after he’s ruined you. He knows what you want to eat after you’re all cleaned up, knows what show you want to watch, knows if you want to just drop dead in bed or need someone to force you to finish your uni assignments. In short: Jisung is good. If you ever said that out loud and someone caught wind of it, they might assume that you liked him.

But Changbin. You like Changbin. You like Changbin you like Changbin you like Changbin—

You like Changbin, right?

“You’ve been looking at me as if I had the word CLOWN written over my forehead. Do I have something on my face or what?” you cross your arms and are met with your friends quickly averting their eyes from you.

Felix is the first one to break the silence. “Is that a new dress?”

“Not really. I recently found it when I cleared out my closet and decided to give it one more try. Why—“ you pause, and your expression turns grim once it dawns on you. “I look ridiculous in this, don’t I?”

“Yeah.”

“No!”

“You look like a clown.”

“Seungmin-Hyung, did you really just???”

If your crippling self-esteem hadn’t reached its all-time low before, then it definitely did now. “Geez, thanks,” you deadpan.

Jeongin is panicking, trying to provide some damage control as Felix snaps at Hyunjin and Seungmin. “Nobody cares about your two cents!”

“Well, but she asked for our opinion!”

“Nobody cares about your honest two cents!”

“Let’s just have lunch at the burger place and talk about this later, Hyung!”

You’re still dazed, chuckling dryly like those cartoon characters usually do when their soul leaves their body after someone dragged them. The entire situation is downright sad to witness. Is this a sign that your period is coming soon? That’s it! That probably explains why you’re acting so uncharacteristically sensitive today—

“The dress suits you, (y/n). You should wear it more often,” Changbin says.

“Hah?” you flinch and you’re sure your soul actually left your body when you turn to face Changbin smiling genuinely at you. Out of your periphery, you see Jisung and Chan behind him, but that’s not the point.

What? The? Fuck? Did he really just? Did Changbin just… compliment you?

You don’t realize how long you’ve dumbly stared at him until Jeongin nudges you. “Uhhhh, thanks!” you squeak out, cringing at how your voice just went up by an octave. You can feel Jeongin facepalming internally at your response, but you don’t blame him; you’d most likely do the same.

Changbin just smiles before he turns away to get to his next class, tugging Jisung and Chan with him.

Nevermind. Wearing this dress was the best decision you’ve made in your entire college career. The way you suddenly beam almost gives Felix whiplash — it’s obvious in the way he stares at you as if he ended up watching a comedy instead of the melodrama he was expecting. Hyunjin seems just as flabberghasted, Jeongin is still cringing from the secondhand embarrassment, and Seungmin just grins.

“Ah, so lover boy is the reason, I see.”

You roll your eyes at him. “Oh my god, just shut up, Seungmin.”

Jisung is eating you out with such fervor that has you sobbing and thrashing around. He’s merciless in every literal sense, keeping your hips planted on the couch with his hands to the point where veins are bulging out, and lapping up your juices with his tongue, continuing even though you already came. He only pulls away, lips glistening in your release, once you tug on his hair despite his orders to not do that.

“Already spent now? But baby, we just started.” he pouts. “Or is it because it’s me? Would you defy if Changbin was the one eating you out?”

You stare at him with blown out eyes. Why the fuck is he bringing up Changbin now? The words hang heavy in your throat and are threatening to burst, but the death stare he delivers stops you from doing so.

Something’s not right.

“Don’t tell me... you’re wet again because I just mentioned Changbin. Changbin this, Changbin that, huh? It’s always only Changbin, Changbin, Changbin. And I thought I was doing you good all along,” he rages, making you flinch. He can be terrifying when he wants to be, but this time, he seems completely out of it. “You know what? I’m fucking done with holding back. You’re mine, got it?”

With that, he dives back into your cunt, sucking harshly on your clit as he slides a finger in you. You try to pry him off, but his weight is restraining you to the sofa.

“Jisung, it hurts— ouch—“ Panic starts to rise in you when he finally detaches himself from your nub, but instead, moves down to your thighs and starts sucking on the skin with a force much harder than you’re used from him. “What are you doing? S-stop—!”

“You’re mine, you’re supposed to be mine. I am literally written on your skin. So why can’t you just wish to be with me? Do I have to mark you up so that you’ll finally get it?”

It hurts. It hurts. Once you feel teeth on your skin, you burst into tears. “Red, Jisung, red!”

As if it was the spell to break the cast, Jisung finally snaps out of it. His features break once his eyes meet yours. Regret sticks onto him like a second skin, and he slightly moves his hand in an attempt to reach out to you. Your muscles react faster though, and you instinctively pull your legs towards yourself and shy away from him. The way his face drops by another layer of remorse tugs at your heartstrings, but the impending fear overpowers everything else you’re feeling.

“What’s going on? What went over you?” you ask.

Jisung’s breath is shaky. He feverishly opens his mouth several times, but no sound is coming out. He’s struggling to find the right words, maybe trying to find a somewhat reasonable justification for his behavior. In the end, he lets out a defeated sigh. “I can’t do this anymore without having feelings—” his voice is weak and vulnerable and you’ve never witnessed him break down like this before, “—I like you. I like you the way you like Changbin. I just...”

Silence.

“Leave,” you whisper, but in this silence, your voice rings out loud and clear. This is… too much weight for your heart to carry.

Jisung complies. He grabs his belongings from the floor, slips on his shirt, and leaves with his head hung low. His footsteps grow more and more distant, but then he stops.

“Are you really in love with Changbin?” His voice cracks.

You don’t muster up the courage to face him. “Just read my mind.”

It’s silent again. Too overwhelming. You’re waiting for yet another outburst of him, waiting for his “I want you to say it out loud”, because that’s how the conversation always goes.

The last thing you hear is the front door falling in its lock with a soft click.

You like Changbin. You like Changbin you like Changbin you like Changbin you like—

You like him, right?

Things have changed.

You and Jisung haven’t crossed paths ever since, not even passed each other by in the hallways. It’s weird since you’ve grown used to seeing him every day outside of your apartment complex. You’ve never really acknowledged each other’s presence with a wave or something in the sorts; it was just a second where your eyes met, and then your days went on.

That being said, you run into Changbin quite frequently. If you ever exchanged words, it’s nothing more than friendly small talk and the one or other compliment about his music. Talking to Changbin is nice; he makes you smile.

You know a little bit more about Changbin now, like his favorite ice cream flavor or the fact that he has a pokemon plushie named Gyu. It’s cute, and you chuckle when you think about how you’d pay good money for that information a few weeks ago.

Changbin is nice, and there’s nothing more to the story.

The chaotic quartett you call your friends however, doesn’t seem to buy it. They are loud and nosey and have eyes, so it was set in stone that they’d tease you about it sooner or later. It’s all fun and games, and you played along with it at first, because that’s how you guys are. But as time went on, when the banter became so repetitive and blown out of proportion to the point where they have made clowning you about your small interactions with Changbin the pinnacle of their entertainment, you’ve begun to be fed up by it.

“Will you finally stop bringing him up in an indecent manner every single lunch break? Or even better, stop bringing him up altogether?” You snap, which shocks everyone at the table because you never snap.

Nobody has time to react as you quickly stomp away to grab some fresh air. You mutter out every curse under the sun, not intending to let your anger take over you this much. You’ve only made it past the door when Felix catches up to you, placing a hand over your shoulder.

“(y/n), what’s the matter? Clearly, something’s bothering you. And I know it’s not because of just Seungmin.” Concern is woven in his smooth voice.

You have to admit, it was a smart and calculated move from your friends to send Felix your way. He’s always been the compassionate one out of your little friend group. Like a pillar, he’s the one who keeps you all grounded (and he’s the one to drive your asses back home after the wild Alpha Beta Gamma frat parties).

“I don’t like Changbin that way, I realized. So it’d be very much appreciated if you asses didn’t allude to that every time,” you huff.

Felix sends you an understanding smile. “We can work that out. You know that Hyunjin and Seungmin in particular can be insensitive and sometimes don’t realize they’ve taken things too far..”

“Fine, but that’s not the main thing that’s eating me up alive, Felix.” you sigh. The words seem to flow out of your mouth like a waterfall. “I’ve realized I’ve never really liked Changbin. Okay, fine, he was just a crush I had but I don’t like him.”

He nods slowly, his brain processing your ramble. “So you like someone else.”

“Yes. And I don’t know how to fix it because we got into a huge fight.”

“Talk to them. That’s the only thing left to do.” His response is immediate, and he says it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Every relationship has its ups and downs, and if you want to be committed, you have to fight for it. If you were made for one another, you’ll make it.”

The last part makes you laugh internally. If only he knew.

“Let me guess, you expect me to barge into his place to sort things out,” you say.

Felix gives you the look of judgment. “I mean, you could also show some human decency and text him in advance so he’s also prepared. But that works fine too.”

Come to think of it, you’ve never been to Jisung’s apartment. That’s about to change when you knock on his door sometime in the evening, shortly after sunset.

Jisung’s face immediately drops once he opens the door. “What are you doing here?” His voice is soft, drenched in regret.

It’s not that his appearance has reached rock bottom. He still takes good care of himself; however, you pick up the dark circles under his eyes and his complexion seems a little paler. Not sickeningly pale, but in a sense that he hasn’t seen the light of day for a few consecutive days.

You shift your weight on one leg and fiddle with your fingers. “Can we talk?”

Jisung gulps. “Yeah, sure,” he mumbles after a moment of hesitation before inviting you in.

“I’ve thought a long time about this. Everything, really,” you start awkwardly as soon as you’re both standing stiffly in his living room. “I, um…”

You cringe inwardly as your voice trails off. Truth be told, you’ve rehearsed what you wanted to say many times a few hours ago. Even wrote down the entire speech. Then threw the draft away, only to compose a new one. And then again and again and again. After what felt like an eternity, you had polished your final speech and memorized it from top to bottom, even making sure that your flow sounded natural. But now that this is the real deal, your mind goes blank. Of course, of fucking course, your illiterate brain had to give up on you in the situation that mattered the most.

Jisung purses his lips. “Do you want something to drink first? No need to rush—”

“I don’t like Changbin!” you blurt out. Jisung stares at you in confusion. “I mean, I used to like Changbin — I still do, he’s a nice guy! Don’t get me wrong — but that’s all he is. He’s… nice. I like him, as a friendly guy. I had a crush on him, but now it’s just, uh, like. Platonic! Yeah, platonic.”

Despite him nodding slowly, you know that he is still lost. You would be too if you were on the receiving end of this painfully clumsy delivery.

You give yourself a mental slap as you take a deep breath. It can’t get any worse than this. Definitely impossible. You’ve already proven to him how bad your public speaking skills are. Might as well get over it with the bluntest words. “I miss you. And not because of the sexual things we did, but everything else. I miss you coming over, miss the movie night, and all that. I miss you, Jisung.”

He stares at you silently. Your eyes search his face for any sign of emotion, and for one too many times, Jisung is impossible to read. Okay, perhaps you did manage to tell him what you wanted to tell him even worse than whatever the fuck your initial attempt was.

But then his blank armor cracks. Little by little, his eyes soften, disbelief and remorse on display for you to see. Jisung is looking at you as if his world has fallen apart even more. He’s looking at you as if he’s clinging to the last threads of reason, trying to make sense of the situation. He’s looking at you with eyes that could hold stars behind them, stars that were supposed to burn out yet shine brighter than the universe.

“How can you say that? I hurt you. I made you cry! I was being a selfish asshole who put out his anger on you!” he exclaims, voice breaking towards the end. Pain clouds his red eyes, and he’s fighting to keep the tears at bay.

You slowly prod closer to him, testing the waters. He doesn’t react once, not even when you stand directly in front of him. Not even when you gently place your hands on a shoulder each. Not until you say, “It’s alright. I’m alright. No hard feelings.”

That’s his breaking point. Tears stream down his face, while quiet hiccups jump out of his throat. “How can you be so nice to me?” His sobs are muffled as he eases into your touch, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. Instinctively, he wraps his arms around your waist, clinging onto you as if you’re his lifeline.

The answer is simple, you say to yourself, as you thread a hand in his hair. “We’re soulmates.”

The weight of the words hangs in the air, shattering the previous tension and all the worries in your heart. It’s liberating, finally being able to say it out loud without feeling like an abnormality for saying those words with happiness. You’re soulmates. You’re soulmates, and that’s okay.

Jisung’s sobs resound throughout the room, and so do his countless, tiny yeah, we are’s. You need a moment before you register the wetness on your face. It feels like an eternity standing in his warm embrace, even after there are no more tears left to cry.

“Can I kiss you?” Your voice is quiet, barely above a whisper, but Jisung catches it. two fingers gently lift your chin so that you’re facing him. You almost melt when your eyes meet, his gaze filled with adoration that makes you want to burst at the seams.

“Yeah. I’d love that.” Jisung smiles.

It costs you your willpower to tear your eyes away from him before they flutter down to his lips. Despite his bottom lip being a little cracked, they look inviting and you wonder what they taste like. You expect him to nudge you, expect him to tell you to hurry up and do something because you’re pretty sure you’re staring at his lips for far too long.

He doesn’t. The grip on your chin is loose as if to tell you to take your time and go at your own pace. But the longer you wait, the more reluctance builds up. It’s a lot of power he’s given you; hell, it’s the first time he hands the reigns to you.

“Can you… uhm… I’ve never done this before, so yeah…” you look at him with a crooked smile.

The breathless chuckle that leaves him sounds like music to your ears. Jisung moves his hand to the back of your neck before closing the distance between you.

The kiss is short and sweet, but that alone suffices to make the butterflies in your stomach burst. The faint taste of coke lingers on him, and before you know it, you’re kissing again. Jisung’s lips are like an addiction, reeling you back in for another one. Somewhere along the way, the kisses change. Innocent presses of lips are long forgotten, replaced by teeth playfully tugging on your bottom lip, and Jisung kissing you deeper to the point where he steals all oxygen out of your lungs.

Your hands slide down his chest, tugging on his shirt. Startled by your bold actions, he pulls away, but you catch him back into another liplock that leaves the two of you breathless. All you can think of clearly is Jisung Jisung Jisung—

This time he forces himself away from you. Gasping for air, he places his forehead on yours. “If we go farther than this, then I don’t know if I can control myself.” His warning is barely above a whisper.

“Then don’t,” you whisper back.

That’s all the reassurance he needs before leading you to his bedroom, all the whilst latching onto your lips once more. He doesn’t let go of you until your back hits the soft mattress and he’s on top of you. Warm, slightly calloused hands trail from your cheeks to the hem of your shirt.

“Color?”

“Green,” you respond, smiling up at him. The sun has long vanished at the horizon, replaced by the dim moon and stars. Despite only a little light surging past the blinds into the room, you can see Jisung’s features crystal clear. The endearing smile is cast into the back of your mind, so is the delicacy in his touch, fingertips lightly grazing your skin as he sheds all your clothes off until you’re left in your underwear. After hearing your complaints, he discards his own clothes with an amused glint in his eyes.

Jisung takes his time pounding every single detail of your features into his memory. His hands roam all over your body, inciting goosebumps. You lean into his touch with a sigh and flit your gaze to him once he stops on a particular spot.

The look on his face is unreadable, but the hesitation in his voice speaks for itself. “Does this bug you?” he asks, uncertainty laced in it as he runs his finger over each character of his name that’s inked under your collarbone. You shake your head with a hum that turns into a soft moan once he leaves kisses on the spots his finger burned before, one for each letter. Eventually, his actions spiral out to sucking lovebites and rutting his bulge against your heat, enticing louder whines out of you. Your vision morphs into blurriness as you move your hips in sync with his, locking your arms around his neck to pull him even closer to you.

“(y/n), baby…” Jisung heaves for air, “Is it okay if I…?.”

“Please,” you mewl, “want you inside me.” Your desperation must’ve shone through your tone, as Jisung presses a loving kiss on your forehead before he reaches over to the nightstand for a condom, grinning like a lovesick idiot.

In books and movies, this is the part where the virgin would reach peak nervousness. Too many fears would be inhabiting their mind; the fear of pain, fear of not fulfilling their partner’s needs, fear of the entire situation, essentially. Whatever they depict in those books and movies, it doesn’t match up with the warmth and want pumping in your veins. Even after Jisung slipped your and his underwear off and slid the condom on his leaking cock, there’s no sign of fear bubbling in you. It’s rather the opposite; you nudge him to finally slide into you.

“So impatient,” he tuts playfully, and because he can’t help being a bit sadistic, he teases your dripping entrance with the tip of his cock. Tears begin to form in your eyes from the frustration of clenching around nothing. You feel like crying for good once he slowly pushes into you. The stretch feels unfamiliar and completely different than what you’re used to from his fingers, but it’s not unpleasant as you throw your head back. While you’re adjusting to his girth, Jisung observes your every expression, faltering whenever you scrunch your eyes shut.

“You still there?” he asks in hushed tones, caressing your cheek.

In awe about his concern, you nod. “I’m fine. It’s just… new. I’ve never done this, but I guess you already figured that out.” It takes you a moment to catch your breath, and then you give him the green light to continue.

The way Jisung has your hands firmly against the bed lacks the usual roughness; he isn’t gripping your wrists as if he’s about to cut off your blood circulation. This time, he has intertwined his fingers with yours as if he doesn’t ever want to let go of you. A firework of colors and stars is all you see as he thrusts into slow and deep and with all the passion he has to offer. His lips don’t leave space for a breather either; he kisses you with so much fervor that it swallows your heart up whole. At that instant, you realize that he’s claimed your heart and isn’t going to give that up any time soon. You don’t mind, because you know that you’ve committed the same crime.

It’s not long after until you feel the orgasm building up. Jisung brings one hand down to flick your clit, and just like that, you unravel beneath him. His own release follows suit, a muffled groan coming from his lips as he spills into the condom.

It’s quiet for a moment, no words spoken between you except for harsh breathing. Eventually, Jisung slides his softening dick out of you and disappears for a moment to clean up, returning with a damp towel for you to freshen up a little, as well as a glass of water.

“I think I won’t be able to walk tomorrow,” you say after you gulped down the drink in one go, voice devoid of emotion. A laugh leaves Jisung. The way you deliver it is so casual as if he didn’t just have his dick in you minutes before. “Also, isn’t this the part where we should cuddle?”

“So bossy, your royal majesty.” He even takes a bow before he climbs back on the bed, pulling the covers over your bodies, and scooting up to you. He says something else, but you don’t register what exactly. All you care about is being wrapped in his warm embrace. The stench of sweat isn’t prominent on him anymore. Instead, it’s a huge cloud of Axe overpowering your senses. You would complain, but you’re too blissed out to bother.

Jisung must’ve noticed at a certain point that you’ve wandered to daydream paradise. “You’ve been quiet for a while. A penny for your thoughts.”

“But you can read my mind.”

“I want you to say it out loud.” His answer comes like a shot while his hand is brushing through your hair. “That, and your thoughts are too jumbled and my head is going to malfunction if I try to decode everything running in your head right now.”

The corners of your lips quirk upwards. “I’m just thinking about how we did everything in the wrong order. It’s just now that we kissed, before that I only sucked you off or something. We’re so fucked up.”

“If you word it that way, we definitely didn’t follow the book.” Jisung laughs in agreement. The vibrations from his chest causes you to bubble up in warmth.

“I don’t mind, though. That’s not the point. I’m happy.” You don’t have to look up to know that his eyes lit up. “Jisung, I’m happy that you’re mine.”

The hold around your waist tightens, and you feel a soft kiss being pressed on top of your head. “And I’m happy that you’re mine.”

In another lifetime, another universe, you probably wouldn’t have to go through these struggles. Society would normalize having someone that completes you. You wouldn’t go through countless stages of denial, countless stages of frustration, and countless stages of doubt.

In another lifetime, another universe, you potentially could’ve been on even worse terms. Just like in those cyberpunk movies, maybe you two would be enemies, one fighting alongside the government, the other assisting the villain who tries to overthrow the system. Star-crossed lovers, that’s what you two would be dubbed as.

In another lifetime, another univer—

No need to fantasize about what could be. The only lifetime that matters is this lifetime, this universe, your reality. In reality, people like you live in hiding. In reality, society is doubtful towards people with soulmates. In reality, people like you are destined for a tragedy. It’s taken you a long time to wrap it around your head.

That’s alright though. You’re alright. You’ll always be alright. The universe might have not played in your favor in this lifetime, but you still found each other. Perhaps, the universe will be more forgiving towards you in your next lifetime. Or the one after. Who knows? Whatever happens, at least you know you have one person you’re bound to meet wherever you are, whenever you are. One person who won’t ever let go of you. One person you won’t ever let go of.

“Yeah, I’m yours.”

#i'm never writing a oneshot again this is too stressful for my heart #stray kids smut #skz smut #han jisung smut #jisung smut #stray kids dark hours #dom!jisung #sub!reader #jijiri.txt #smut.mine #i winged the ending so pls go easy on me dlskjflkjsa

5K notes · View notes

amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines · 4 years

Text

Reggie//i can't let you go now that i got it

Request: your last reggie mantle imagine was soooooo cute it was.... BIG FAV i'm still grinning! could you please do one where reader and reggie have been best friends their whole lives? she's super protective and sweet to him and like? she's been in love for years but has been hiding it well?? she gets him to come away with her to college because 'screw this town' and they live together? but eventually she starts going on dates and it makes him realize he's in love with her too?? mutual love confession

hey! so before you go any further trigger warning mentions of abuse, specifically around reggie and his dad. it’s not in detail but it is mentioned a few times so don’t read if that upsets you. the last thing i want you to be is sad. i hope you all have a good day anyway, whether you’re reading this or not! (title is from Børns ‘electric love’)

- For 18 years

- Reggie Mantle has been the only constant in your life

- Even when you were babies he was there

- Your mom’s sat beside each other in baby class, cooing and awing over each other’s kids

- All while 6 month old you stole 6 month old Reggie’s toy

- And then he cried so hard he vomited on not only himself but you as well

- Which then made you cry even louder

- And then your mom’s were asked to leave

- So instead

- It became a weekly thing for your mom to take you to The Mantle’s

- While her and Mrs Mantle gossiped and drank tea

- You and Reggie would hit each other with various stuffed toys.

- As you got older

- The weekly visits turned into daily ones

- Especially when you moved three houses away from him

- You and Reggie started to see each other more than your own parents did

- Your mom still went over once a week

- But when she arrived you were always usually there

- Either stood in the kitchen getting a snack

- Or lying on Reggie’s bed watching an awful movie he just ‘had to show you’

- They usually involved a hybrid of two animals

- Sometimes mythical, sometimes not

- But in all of them they were usually taking over the world

- They also always had the same four actors in

- But despite how much you protested

- ‘reggie? are you being serious? we watched this one last time.’

- ‘no, we watched molemaid last time. this is medusamaid. they’re completely different’

- ‘oh, sorry. my mistake’

- You actually secretly loved them

- Because they made him happy

- You would watch in awe as he laughed at stupid jokes

- And how his eyes would always light up at a particularly gruesome part, no matter how badly CGI’d it was

- You also listened to the countless of theories as to how ‘hurrik9’ is clearly the prequel to ‘hellhounds’ because ‘they’ve got the same main character! it doesn’t matter if they’re not played by the same person. y/n, they’ve got the same name.’

- You also listened to him complain about the inconsistencies between ‘werewombats 1’ and ‘werewombats 2’

- ‘no matter how much the director stands by the decision to make them turn on each other, despite the first film clearly stating that that’s the last thing they’d do.’

- But the thing you loved the most about it

- Was that he was only ever this way with you

- You’d been sworn to secrecy when you walked in on him watching ‘dinocano vs uniquake’

- And you promised never to tell anyone about his secret passion

- Or the fact that he had a stack of notebooks filled with plots and mini scripts for his own films.

- Reggie may have gotten popular

- But to you, he’s still the same Reggie you’ve always known.

- Whose scared of clowns but won’t admit it

- And cried when watching Edward Scissorhands but if anybody asks it was you

- And who hates hot chocolate, but its the only thing he’ll drink when he’s sick

- He also only eats pink marshmallows in months ending in R

- And white ones every other month

- But in December he has both...because its Christmas.

- Yeah, you and Reggie are best friends

- Always have been, always will

- But it doesn’t stop you from wanting more.

- It doesn’t stop the longing looks when you think no one is watching

- Or the lingering touches whenever he hugs you

- It doesn’t stop your heartbeat picking up whenever he walks into a room

- Or how you forget how to breathe whenever he looks at you

- You look forward to everyday, even if you have a pop quiz or homework you only remembered the night before

- Because he’s going to be there to make you smile

- Even if he isn’t doing it on purpose

- You look forward to the countless of texts he sends

- No matter how weird or ridiculous

- Like when he text you at half three in the morning to ask if birds were real because somebody told him they weren’t.

- You then got a text straight afterwards telling you that it would be great idea for a plot

- And you still answer every single one

- No matter how stupid they are

- It’s really a wonder how you get any sleep with your phone being on loud all the time

- But it’s worth it

- Especially when you get texts like

- ‘he’s done it again’

- Reggie’s relationship with his father complicated to say the least

- You remember when you were younger they used to be best friends

- Reggie idolized him

- And you’d have conversations in Reggie’s tree house, about how much he wanted to be just like his dad when he grew up

- But when he did grow up

- And started to develop a personality that didn’t just revolve around football

- Reggie no longer wanted to be just like his dad

- He wanted to be the furthest thing from him

- The first time it happened

- Reggie tried his hardest to hide it from you

- And for the first time in 8 years

- You went two days without seeing each other

- On the third day though

- You’d had enough

- So you went round to see him

- But when you asked his mom if he was in

- She lied and told you he had just gone out

- Even though you could clearly see him trying and failing to hide on the stairs

- So you did what any normal friend would do

- You climbed through his bedroom window

- With about as much grace and steal as you could muster

- Which surprisingly, wasn’t a lot

- And you gave him the fright of his life

- ‘what the hell are you doing here?’

- ‘you’re avoiding me’

- ‘i’m not. i’ve just been...busy’

- ‘doing what? fighting?’

- ‘what?’

- ‘your eye’

- ‘oh yeah...that’

- That was when you knew something was wrong

- You’ve known Reggie your entire laugh

- And you know the three things he’ll always boast about

- Girls, football and fighting

- ‘what happened?’

- When he told you

- You couldn’t believe what he was saying

- You wanted to find Marty Mantle and give him a black eye...see how he likes it

- But Reggie begged you not to do or say anything

- ‘it’ll only make it worse’

- ‘but its wrong. he should be locked up’

- ‘who’s going to believe me?’

- ‘me’

- ‘see...it was only one time anyway’

- So you agreed, reluctantly

- And you so wanted to believe it

- But then a few weeks later he turned up to school with a bust lip

- A month after that another bruise around his eye that he tried to hide behind sunglasses

- And by the time graduation rolled around

- Both of you had lost count of the sunglasses and excuses

- For three years he’d been trapped in a house with a father who thought hitting was the same as love

- And a mother who pretended it didn’t happen

- But now college was round the corner and that meant a chance for both of you

- Or at least thats what you thought

- ‘you didn’t get in?’

- ‘i didn’t get in.’

- ‘to any of them?’

- ‘nope’

- ‘reggi-’

- ‘it’s fine. my dad has always wanted me to work for him. i guess this will make him happy. even if i am the cleaner’

- ‘reg-’

- ‘please go’

- That summer was the longest one of your life

- It was even longer that the time Reggie had to get his appendix out and so you couldn’t hang out for a 3 weeks.

- For two and a half months

- You heard nothing from Reggie

- You text, called, DM’d and even E-mailed

- But you got nothing

- You went round at all times of the day to try and talk to him

- And every time Mrs Mantle answered and told you he was either out or busy

- Doing homework was her favourite excuse

- And Reggie has only ever done homework when you were doing the majority of it

- You even tried climbing in through his window again

- But he locked it

- So you watched every morning as he dragged himself into his dad’s car

- Wearing a stiff suit and a miserable expression

- No matter how hard you tried to get to him before the left

- How fast you ran or how early you got to his house

- They were always long gone before you managed to get anywhere close to him

- You missed the midnight texts about nothing

- You missed his stupid jokes

- You missed watching an entire room light up whenever he walked in

- You missed the way he made you feel, even if he was unaware of it

- You even missed watching his god-awful movies

- You just missed him

- And when he missed your leaving party

- That was the final straw

- At 7am the next morning

- You shoved the last of your boxes in the back of your car

- Said goodbye to your parents

- And drove away

- Three houses down the street

- Making sure your parents had gone back inside before stopping

- You sat outside for a few minutes

- Trying to think of what to do or say

- You knew his mom would answer the door

- And that you’d get the same excuses

- You also knew from the past few experiences that his window would still be locked

- So you threw rocks at his bedroom window in the hopes that when he’d check to see what it was, he’d leave it unlocked

- And he did!

- You watched from behind a bush as he hung his head out the window to look around

- His brow furrowed and hair messy

- Clearly he’d just woke up

- You couldn’t help the smile twitching at your lips

- You’d missed that face

- Climbing the window was a lot harder than it used to be

- Mr Mantle had taken the ladders away

- Another reason as to why he sucked

- But you managed eventually

- And you almost died only twice

- Which is good

- It’s better than three

- You landed on the carpet with a loud thud that made him jump half way across the room

- ‘y/n. what the hell are you doing here?’

- ‘it’s moving day. and i must say i’m very disappointed at the lack of preparation on your part. have you even started packing yet?’

- ‘it’s not funny y/n’

- ‘i know. do you see me laughing?’

- ‘i’m being serious y/n. just leave’

- ‘no’

- ‘what?’

- ‘the last time you told me to leave, i listened and i didn’t see you for two months, so no’

- ‘what about college’

- ‘what about it?’

- ‘it starts in three days’

- ‘i know. and if we stand here any longer we’re going to miss it. so get packed and lets go. it’s a nine hour drive and i’m not doing all of that alone’

- ‘you know i can’t go’

- ‘says who?’

- ‘my dad, every single college i applied for and me’

- ‘listen to me reggie. you are my best friend, you have been since we were babies. there’s not a part of my life you haven’t been in. do you really think that would stop at college?’

- ‘we didn’t spend the summer together’

- ‘and it was the worst summer of my life’

- ‘same...but that might have been because i was spending 12 hours a day in an office’

- ‘rude. but i’ll take it!’

- ‘i did miss you though. it was weird not seeing your face everyday’

- That makes your cheeks heat up and you have to force the flutter in your chest to go away

- ‘it always cheers me up’

- There it goes again and you want to claw at your chest until it’s no longer there

- Hope is a terrible thing to have when you’ve been in love with your best friend for your entire life

- ‘you always cheer me up’

- Oh dear...

- ‘i love you...a-as a friend. this summer has been the longest and most depressing for both of us. i don’t want to live the rest of my life like that. i need you reggie. so please pack your bags, say screw you to your dad and to this town and lets go’

- ‘what about money? where am i going to live?’

- ‘we’ll figure that out on the way there. just hurry up’

- And he did

- You and Reggie threw the majority of his belongings into any bag you could find

- He took all the money he’d been saving out of the poorly disguised fake plant

- And wrote a nice little note for his parents

- You also may have added a few choice words to it

- But what Reggie doesn’t know won’t hurt him

- And the two of you climbed into your car and never looked back

- The 9 hour car ride was the most fun you’ve ever had

- It was like you were trying to fit the entire summer you’d lost into those few hours

- It was filled with off key singing

- And stories of your summer

- His favourite being about Archie being tricked into going skinny dipping by himself

- You laughed loudly like nothing had happened

- And cried silently because everything had

- Thankfully when you arrived on campus, it was already night

- So you managed to sneak Reggie into your room

- And when you nervously told your roommate

- She just grinned at you

- ‘it’s fine, my boyfriend will probably be staying over a lot too’

- ‘oh, he’s not my boyfriend’

- ‘we’re not together’

- ‘...okay’

- She said with a knowing smile and you and Reggie shared a look

- And a year filled with adventures started

- Reggie got a job as a bartender with a little help from Veronica

- And you started your classes

- But nothing is ever easy

- At least not when it involves you or Reggie

- It turns out hiding a whole human is a lot more difficult that you anticipated.

- It involves Reggie squeezing into your closet

- And a whole team of people to get him to and from the showers

- But it was also difficult for another reason

- Because it was easy to hide your feelings from him when you lived in separate house

- But now you’re sharing a room

- And a bed

- And every time he would wrap his arms around you

- And pull in for a half asleep cuddle

- You’d forget how to breathe

- You’ve never been more excited to wake up

- Because he’d be all messy hair and parted lips with just a little bit of drool coming out of them that it would be cute instead of gross

- And when he said good morning in the same deep, tired voice

- You wanted to live in that feeling forever

- But then 2nd year rolled around and everything changed

- It all started when you moved into your own apartment

- You knew you had to but there was a part of you that hoped you could keep everything the same

- You found a tiny, two bedroom flat that you could both just about afford

- Reggie was so happy to have his own room

- ‘i won’t have to sleep next to you and your freezing cold feet anymore’

- ‘i’ll just sneak into your bed when your fast asleep and put them on you then instead’

- ‘i thought we were supposed to be friends’

- It took a few weeks to get used to an empty bed

- But eventually you started to sleep properly

- And it was quite nice to have your own space again

- It meant you could study without having to listen to ‘nighthawk nightmare’

- Honestly, you don’t really know what the plot of that one is

- But you’ve still seen it 7 times

- You may be in love with him but it doesn’t mean he can’t be annoying sometimes

- And you were happy with going back to admiring from afar

- Your heart can’t get broken that way

- In fact a small part of you thought he felt the same way

- That one glimmer of hope you felt a year ago

- Came back all of sudden

- And soon

- You became aware of the lingering touches

- And the gifts he’d buy you just because

- He also asked what you wanted to watch for your movie night

- And he’s never, ever done that unless you were sad or sick

- And even then, when you broke your arm a few years ago, he chose the film

- The way he looked at you suddenly felt different

- You would feel him staring, but when you would check he would always be scrolling through his phone

- And you’re sure the was a little bit of flirtiness in his tone whenever he spoke to you

- But just because you think you can’t be burnt if you stand far enough away from the fire

- Doesn’t mean that the sparks can’t jump out and get you anyway

- Because all of sudden Reggie started bringing girls home

- And every time you saw a t-shirt that wasn’t yours on the sofa

- Or a pair of shoes discarded by the door

- You felt yourself die a little

- After a few weeks of this

- Something in you snapped

- You’d spent the majority of your life pining after some boy who saw you as nothing more than a friend

- And sometimes a small part of you thought as just an escape route

- So you moped for a few weeks before deciding it was finally time to move on

- Reggie would only ever see you as a friend

- And that’s fine

- The only way to move on, is to move on.

- So you waited for the right guy to move on with

- And there were a few

- But none of them were right

- Until you met Daniel

- Sweet Daniel with curly brown hair and dimples

- Who studied history

- And spent his days sitting in the coffee shop on campus

- For a few weeks the two of you spent your short interactions stealing glances and exchanging shy smiles

- That evolved to small talk with flirty undertones

- Until finally he asked you out

- And you said yes

- And you kept saying yes to each date afterwards

- They were fun too

- He’d take you to museum's and on picnics and at night he’d pick you up and you’d go star gazing

- He would make you laugh when he’d tell you a joke

- And make you blush when he’s whisper in your ear while staring up at the sky

- But he wasn’t him

- And that killed you

- It doesn’t matter how many time he takes you to watch some unknown indie film thats supposed to be the greatest thing ever made

- It has nothing on standing outside the only cinema in town that’s showing ‘sharkcano vs tigerana’ in the freezing cold with Reggie wearing an absolutely ridiculous costumes that Reggie threw together last minute and somehow roped you into wearing too.

- But what hurt even more was watching how Reggie acted around you when you and Daniel started dating

- He looked hurt whenever he saw the two of you together

- And you would watch him roll his eyes whenever you mentioned him

- Until eventually he would just avoid you all together

- Do you know how hard it is to avoid someone when you’re living in the same 2 bedroom flat that barely gives two foot to yourself?

- It’s hard

- But Reggie finds a way

- Eventually you’re more roommates than friends

- And you really don’t know how much more you can take

- You feel like you’re about to break

- And Daniel can see that too

- So on Friday night he invites you to go drinking with him and his friends instead of staying in and moping

- ‘bye, i’m going out’

- ‘wait’

- The speed of which he runs from his room and into the living room where your stood, startles you to say the least

- ‘what?’

- ‘don’t go out with him.’

- ‘why not? what ever george has told you about is a lie. george does that. he once told a bunch of people that you streaked in an old people’s home and almost killed his grandmother’

- ‘because he isn’t me’

- You’ve dreamt of those words

- Built them up in your head for years

- But in all of your daydreams, there’s never been a scenario like this one

- Not one where you’re about to leave to go on a date with another guy

- ‘reggie? what are you talking about?’

- You need to make sure he’s saying what you think he’s saying

- Because you can feel yourself hoping again

- And you know if he doesn’t mean what you want him to

- You don’t think you’ll be able to recover

- ‘i love you y/n. you’re my best friend, you always have been, you always will be and i love you.’

- ‘reg-’

- ‘please tell me you feel the same way’

- ‘i-’

- In your head you had a full oscar worthy speech planned out just in case this ever happened

- But now you’re here in the moment.

- You have no idea what to say

- ‘it doesn’t matter. just leave’

- ‘no’

- ‘what?’

- ‘do you really think i’m going to walk away from you after that? when have i ever walked away from you?’

- ‘i-no’

- ‘i love you too by the way. if you care’

- ‘shut up...wait really?’

- ‘yes i do. i’ve loved you for as long as i can remember so are you going to just stand there or are you going to kiss me?’

- ‘i’m definitely going to kiss you’

- ‘good’

- And he does

- He’s standing in front of you before you can catch your breath

- His hands reach up to cup your cheeks

- His lips part as he stares down at you

- And you’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he’s looking at you

- Like you’re everything good and light in the universe

- And like he’s also been waiting just as long for this moment

- Maybe he has

- Maybe he’s been waiting all his life for this

- He just didn’t know

- You feel whatever breath you had left leave your lungs

- His lips are soft against yours, but he gets his point across

- And you’ve never been happier

- All the heartache and tears

- The laughter and stupid jokes

- The 3am texts

- The constant worrying

- The early mornings and late nights

- The damage to limbs from trying to fit in tiny closets

- And the scrapes on your ankles and bruising on your legs from crawling through his bedroom window

- They’re all worth it

- ‘are you still going on your date?’

- ‘what do you think?’

- ‘good. because they’ve just released werewombats 3’

#reggie mantle #reggie mantle imagine #reggie mantle x reader #reggie mantle x you #reggie mantle x y/n #reggie #reggie imagine #reggie x reader #riverdale #riverdale imagine

176 notes · View notes

delaber · 4 years

Text

Chipped

Rafael Casal x Reader

Note: I love when you send me prompts 😭 I asked for angst and you delivered! Thanks to all the lovely anons and to @theatrenerd86 of course!

Words: 3K

Warnings: fist fight 🙃

Tagging: @exrthangel @theatrenerd86 @lonelydance @ohsoverykeri @summerofsnowflakes @ramp-it-up @alexander-hamilhoe @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @riiyy @mysearchforgratification @janthony-stan @sillyteecup @biafbunny @einfachniemand @cashskid (Imma keep tagging you unless you say something lol).

The minute you stepped in the door, everything changed. Time seemed to slow down. The music became distorted. Rafa could've sworn that the lights dimmed considerably. The billiard ball rolling in slow motion in front of him suddenly wasn't as exciting anymore. All he could focus on was you and the heavy heartbeat in his chest.

You looked around the room, shot him a small wave from afar and headed straight for the bar as his senses seemed to return to normal, time speeding up again.

You'd shown up to the party late and even though Rafa had only seen you from a distance, it was obvious to him that something was wrong - again. Even though you had held your head up high, your confident body language was outshone by the fake smile and the sadness in your eyes. Rafa watched your squared shoulders as you poured yourself a drink while trying to look brave. And although you were doing a splendid job pretending everything was alright, he didn't believe a second of it. You had never been able to keep anything from him. He knew you too well.

"Are you seeing this too?" Diggs mumbled as he had also noticed the way you were carrying yourself.

"Yeah," Rafa breathed as he looked at you wipe away a small tear, the smile still broad on your lips. His heart was aching in his chest. It hurt seeing you hurt.

"What are we guessing?" Diggs continued in a quiet mumble, "Rob?"

"Definitely Rob," Rafa said darkly. Of course you were crying because of your asshole fuckboy of a boyfriend. The biggest fucking clown to ever walk the face of the earth. Mr Dickbag himself. Rafa's nemesis.

Rafa and Diggs had absolutely hated Rob from the minute you had introduced him to them - not only because the man was absolutely no good, but also because he had come out of nowhere, pulling you away from Rafa at the worst possible time. Before Rob, you and Rafa had - much to Rafa's satisfaction - flirted quite heavily. Hell, on special occasions, Rafa had even been granted access to your bed! But from the moment you had met Rob, everything had been about him, and Rafa had been degraded to being your old buddy again. ...And he absolutely fucking hated it! And he hated fucking Rob for stealing you away. Fucking Rob with his fucking stupid hipster haircut and his fucking badass Michael K Williams scar.

"We should go talk to her," Diggs said quietly, and put down the billiard cue without looking away from you.

"Yeah, I'll see what I can do," Rafa answered without really paying attention to Diggs.

"You? Alone?" Diggs arched an eyebrow at Rafa, "are you sure that's a good idea? Last time you nearly broke them up."

"That's still the plan," Rafa sent his friend a challenging look, "or do you want him to continue breaking her heart?"

"Of course not. You're just... partial," Diggs sent Rafa an equally challenging look. He was all for you and Rafa getting together, but he also knew that Rafa was in neck-deep water.

"Shut up, dude. I know what I'm doing," Rafa mumbled and started walking towards you with determined footsteps before Diggs could stop him.

"Don't stir shit up!" He heard Diggs yell behind him.

Rafa ignored his best friend and took a few brisk steps towards you before he was standing by your side. You were pouring yourself half a glass of tequila, downing it in one go.

"Hey..." he smiled when he caught your eye.

"Rafa!" You jumped a little at the surprise of suddenly having him in your face, "hey. How are you?" You poured yourself another tequila, your fake smile still broad on your lips. You hoped he hadn't noticed your rather weird mood.

"Better than you it seems..." Rafa eyed the contents of your plastic cup.

"Is it that obvious?" You shot him a look.

"You're drinking tequila as if it was water..." He leaned in close and spoke quietly so only you could hear, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," you lied, "I wouldn't want to ruin your night," you said quietly. The truth was that you actually did want to talk about it. Maybe with Jasmine or Emmy - but definitely not with Rafa of all people! You already knew how he would react; he hated Rob and would go absolutely ballistic.

"You could never ruin my night," Rafa smiled softly. "Come," he said and grabbed your hand, tugging you along. You followed him hesitantly but ended up sitting down next to him on a small bench outside the house, determined not to tell him a thing. However, as he immediately put his arm around you and pulled you close, the treacherous tears started welling up in your eyes the second you felt his hand caressing you.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked softly.

"Yes. I'm just having a really shit night," you mumbled while wiping away an annoying tear.

"What happened?"

"Nothing, I'm okay," you croaked, trying to keep him away.

Of course Rafa didn't believe you, and in a matter of seconds, his expression changed dramatically, "Did Rob hurt you? If he hurt you, I swear to God I will kill him!"

You looked over at Rafa whose nostrils were flared, clearly already angry at the scene he had set in his own mind without even knowing if Rob was involved or not.

"He didn't hurt me, Rafa. Stop jumping to conclusions just because you don't like him..."

"So this has nothing to do with Rob?" Rafa arched an eyebrow at you.

There was no way back now. You knew that Rafa would do absolutely anything in his power to get you to tell him about what had happened. You shot him a sideways glance, trying to determine how angry he was before you admitted to Rob's deeds. "It's Rob, alright - but he didn't do anything on purpose."

Rafa clenched his jaws shut and curtly said, "just tell me what happened."

"Promise me you won't hate him..." you whispered while biting your lip.

"No. What did he do?!" Rafa demanded through gritted teeth.

"He - uhm -" you considered shooting Rafa a lie but knew that he would see right through you immediately. Eventually, you decided to tell him the truth even though you knew nothing good would come of it; "Rob - uh - accidentally kissed someone else last night," you mumbled quietly while carefully examining Rafa's face. He looked as if he could punch something so to diffuse the situation, you quickly added, "- but he feels really bad about it and he told me everything straight away!"

"He cheated on you?" Rafa tried to say as calmly as he possibly could although he was doing a horrendous job. Of all the terrible things Rob had ever done to you, this one definitely took the cake.

"He didn't do it on purpose!" You added quickly, "Please don't be mad at him!"

"Why are you defending him?" Rafa said desperately. His face was distorted, his eyes livid, "He cheated on you! Tell me you broke it off with him!"

"He didn't do it on purpose. He's been going through some stuff lately and he told me that he feels terrible about it..."

"Good!" Rafa said angrily and gritted his teeth, "fucking suits him right. Say the word and I'll deck him in his smug face!"

"Stop trying to save me, I can handle myself! This has absolutely nothing to do with you..."

"I'm the one who has to see you like this," he said softly.

You shot Rafa a look, "you pulled me aside!"

"Yes! Because I see right through your fake smile - and it hurts to see you like this!"

"Rafa, I didn't ask for you to take care of it."

"You'd do the same for any of your friends. I don't know why you can't see that he's bad for you!"

"It's just a rough patch! I know he loves me, he's just been stressed lately."

"Are you not listening to what you're saying right now?" Rafa desperately pulled at his hair, "The guy made out with another girl and you're excusing it? You should be livid!"

"I am livid," you shot Rafa a hard look, "why else do you think I'm sitting out here, talking to you about it? If I didn't care that he kissed someone else, I would obviously be inside right now, enjoying myself!"

"If you're truly upset about it, don't excuse his behaviour! Break up with him! He's toxic as fuck!"

"Would you stop that?!" You said sternly, "I know you aren't his biggest fan but he's my boyfriend."

"Why are you even with him? He's a fucking low life!"

"He's a low life?" You said in a shrill voice, not able to hold back anymore, "as opposed to whom, Rafa? To you?"

"As opposed to anyone!" Rafa spat, "why can't you see that there are so many guys out there who are a million times better than fucking Robert Havert?!"

Rafa's words hit a little too close to home and you got really angry with him, "you really want to go there?" You couldn't help yourself.

"Go where?" Rafa shot you an irritated look

"Riddle me this, Rafa; do you by any chance consider Rob competition?"

"No," Rafa said curtly, looking away from you.

You crossed your arms and tapped your foot, "really? Because you've been sending me some weird fucking signals lately while trying to break me and Rob up."

Rafa's feelings were bubbling inside him and before he could stop himself, he spat, "Of course I consider him competition! Isn't it obvious that I'm in love with you?! You and I had something special before he came along and corrupted you!"

"He didn't corrupt me!" You answered through gritted teeth.

"Why did you turn your back on me then?" Rafa said loudly, his voice breaking. He instantly looked ashamed of himself. He obviously hadn't meant to show you so much of his emotions.

"Because I fell in love with Rob! ...What you and I had was a mistake..." you desperately cried out, "sleeping together was obviously a mistake!"

"If it was a mistake, why did it happen three times?" Rafa spat angrily before his eyes became glossy. He was panting hard, his face all screwed up, "please don't regret me," he croaked, his chest aching horribly, "you can't be serious..."

"Of course I don't regret you, Rafa. But we would've never worked out."

"...Because of him?" He shot you a dark look, his chest heaving up and down.

"No, Rafa," you desperately put your hands on him trying to calm him down, "Because you're you and I'm me. We've been friends for ages."

"I don't want to be friends," Rafa whispered before he angrily looked away from you.

"Rafa, honey," you whispered while searching his face, "I love you - but not like that..." you put your forehead to his. Your hands were now on his chest and you could feel the heavy heartbeat through his shirt. "I'm sorry if I-" Your words were drowned by a car door slamming hard and a voice behind you yelling loudly; "Step away before I punch you in fucking the face, Casal!"

Rob was coming at you and Rafa at full speed, an aggressive look in his eyes. You let go of Rafa as if you'd been scorched by fire and ran to your boyfriend, trying to stop him from beating up your friend. You hadn't told Rob about you and Rafa's escapade but Rob had long ago figured out that Rafa was into you - and you knew that he had been looking for every excuse to fight it out with him.

"Everything's fine, baby," you tried, "Rafa didn't do anything. We were just talking. Everything's fine, I swear!"

Rob's eyes were huge, his nostrils flared as he gently pushed you aside and went head to head with Rafa, "what the fuck are you doing, Casal?! Are you trying to get with my girl?"

"I'm protecting her from you."

"And you plan on doing that by hooking up with her?"

Rafa stood up straight, trying to make himself a few inches taller, "I plan on doing that by actually showing her some emotional support!"

"Don't fucking touch what isn't yours!" Rob was snarling angrily.

"Rich coming from you," Rafa said calmly with a small growl, "do you feel like a big man when you cheat on your girl?"

Rafa's choice of words had Rob shooting him a sickening smile, "that's right, Casal," Rob smiled humourlessly "she's my girl. Not yours. And you know what? She never will be yours. You will never get to touch her, to kiss her, to fuck her. She will never want you. I know you've been dying to experience it but you will never get to see her with your cock in her mouth," he said devilishly.

"Rob!" You interjected, disgusted with how your boyfriend was talking.

Rafa couldn't help himself. He knew he would be disloyal to you and that it would escalate the situation immensely, but he was desperate to wipe away Rob's stupid grin so he too smiled before he calmly said, "oh, you don't think I know what she looks like with my cock in her mouth?"

"Rafa!" You hissed loudly from behind your boyfriend.

Rob's smug face fell considerably and although Rafa could hear the disappointment in your voice, he continued, "what? She didn't tell you?"

In a matter of seconds, Rob's face went from red to purple. He took a firm grip in the collar of Rafa's shirt and plunged his head forwards. Rob's forehead hit Rafa's face with a sickening crunch, and Rafa staggered backwards but was on his feet not long after, decking Rob in the face with his closed fist.

"Please stop!" you pleaded them and tried to pull them apart, but Rob punched Rafa in the stomach, causing him to fall to the ground with a thud when all the air was knocked out of his lungs.

Rob plunged forward, put a leg on either side of Rafa and started hitting him repeatedly.

Rafa was desperately trying to defend himself against the rain of fists that were coming at him, but was so busy trying to avert Rob, that he didn't have the ability to fight back. Luckily, Rob was grabbed from behind by two guys that hurled him backwards and off of Rafa. Rob unsuccessfully fought to wrestle himself free from Oak and Anthony'a grips while yelling, "I'm going to break your fucking skull!"

Meanwhile Rafa, who was now back on his feet, was trying to wrestle himself out of Diggs' grip, responding with a "I'd like to see you try, you fucking pussy!"

As Rob and Rafa were trying to fight the men off of them, you stepped in, "what the hell is the matter with you two?" you bellowed.

Rob looked as if he had almost forgotten you were there, the sound of your voice immediately making him stop squirming in Anthony and Oak's arms as he looked at you. Ant and Oak released their grip on him, and instead of flying towards Rafa, Rob took a few deep breaths, his eyes piercing through you as he tried to calm himself down.

"How about breaking my skull now?" Rafa yelled at him while squirming around in Diggs arms hoping to break free.

Rob's gaze flew towards Rafa, while Oak and Anthony took a step closer, ready to punch him to the ground if he tried anything. Rob felt the two men nearing him and looked as if he had only just realised that if he jumped Rafa again, he would have to deal with Oak, Ant, and Diggs too. He took an ultimate decision and with a last look at you, he huffed, turned on his heel and angrily walked away with balled up fists.

Diggs loosened his grip on Rafa who immediately ran to you, "are you okay?" He almost yelled, his voice laced with concern, "I'm so, so sorry you had to see that!"

You looked up at him with a dark expression, "how fucking dare you!" You started out in a whisper but your voice gradually became louder as your tone changed to anger, "how dare you talk about me like that! As if I'm some conquest that you brag about to your mates!"

"I know I'm sorry," Rafa panted, avoiding your gaze, "Heat of the moment."

"Rafa look at me," you searched his face, "this is over," you said slowly, painfully aware that you were breaking his heart in front of his friends.

"It's over?" He looked as if he didn't understand what you were saying.

"We can't see each other anymore. It's over!"

"What? You're choosing that clown over me? What does he have that I don't?"

"Rafa why can't you see that you're just as big of a clown as he is!"

"...what the fuck are you talking about?!" He panted desperately, "I'm just trying to make you realise that he's a dick! I'm helping you. He's treating you like shit!"

"I don't need or want your help. What I want is for you to stay the fuck away from me," you said angrily giving him a small shove. With one last look back at Rafa, you turned on your heel and desperately ran towards your boyfriend who had almost reached his car.

Rafa watched you chase after Rob. He watched you desperately explain the situation to him. Watched you apologise of all people. Watched Rob take you in his arms as if he was the one who had to forgive you. He watched you kiss Rob's cheek before you started crying. Rafa's heart was aching horribly. He almost couldn't stand still.

He watched you get in Rob's car, kiss the man passionately before he pumped the speeder, sending Rafa a smirk as you once again kissed his cheek. Rafa painfully watched you drive away and all he was left behind with was a black eye, a chipped tooth, and a broken heart.

#rafael casal x reader #rafael casal #daveed diggs #blindspotting #rafael casal imagine #rafael casal fanfiction #bay boys #they gon fight #heartbreak

75 notes · View notes

gayestnerdsinfiction · 3 years

Text

Rivalry

requested by @micapearls (ed hearing jon full body laugh for the first time)

Ever since he first met Jonathan Crane, Edward has had an unshakable fixation on eliciting any type of emotional expression from the other man. To the untrained eye it would appear Jonathan was unable to experience any human emotions beyond displeasure and annoyance. Jonathan doesn’t cry, he doesn’t shout when they argue, he doesn’t allow any facial expression to inadvertently cross his stoic features. Over time, Edward has been able to get a better feel for the subtle cues that indicate his partner’s emotional state, but Jonathan still makes an effort to hold his feelings and opinions close to his chest. Edward wants so badly to break him of this habit. He’s lost count of the amount of meaningless arguments he’d blown out of proportion in the hopes of making Jonathan visibly angry. But perhaps that’s just trauma reenactment.

It was after one such failed attempt to goad Jonathan into an argument that Edward finally got what he was looking for. He had unsuccessfully tried to get a rise out of the other man, throwing out the cruelest, most spiteful things he could think of. Things he didn’t mean, things he doesn’t want Jonathan to think he meant. Unfortunately, this only resulted in Jonathan disappearing off into the lab, leaving Edward to sulk alone in the living room. He’s sitting on the couch, staring absently at the television when Jonathan finally reappears from the basement, his expression as austere and unreadable as ever.

“I’m having a drink,” the older man announces, breezing past Edward and into the kitchen. He removes a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet and holds it up for Edward to see. “Do you want one?”

Edward doesn’t particularly care for whiskey but he can recognize a peace offering when he sees one. He nods wordlessly, sliding to one end of the sofa to make room for Jonathan to sit if he wanted to.

Jonathan pours the two drinks, bringing them into the living room and handing one to Edward. He accepts. Takes a small sip, trying to ignore the unpleasant taste.

“What are you watching?” Jonathan asks as he sits down a respectful distance away from Edward.

“News,” he says. “I’m looking at it more than I’m really watching it.”

Jonathan studies the screen for a few moments, sipping his own drink steadily. “Turn up the volume,” he says abruptly.

Edward obliges, directing his own attention to the TV as well. The reporter onscreen is standing in front of the Gotham University campus. There are cop cars and officers crowded around the building, many of them with heavy tactical gear and weapons.

“Shit, I hope whatever this is doesn’t screw up the heist I had planned for next weekend,” Edward mutters as he puts his drink down on the table.

“…As you can see the police are behind me attempting to negotiate the release of the thirteen hostages currently being held on the University grounds.” The camera cuts away from the reporter to show a closer shot of the police officers at the scene. Edward can make out commissioner Gordon speaking into a walkie-talkie at the front of the group. Bullock stands beside him, looking generally burly and gruff but otherwise not contributing much. “The location and condition of the hostages is unclear; all we know is that those thirteen students and faculty members are trapped somewhere in the Joker’s sadistic maze. More updates on the way as we continue to document the most recent criminal exploits of Gotham’s most fearsome criminal.”

“Ouch,” Jonathan says dryly. “Seems unfair that I’m not the most fearsome criminal in this city but I suppose there’s no accounting for taste.”

Edward, in the meantime, is too busy trying to navigate the mixture of anger, surprise, and jealousy that has begun burning in his chest to even register Jonathan’s comment. “He—I feel like I’m having a stroke, I mean, did that reporter say what I think she said?” he splutters, standing up from the couch to gesticulate wildly at the screen.

“What’s your problem?” Jonathan asks. “Joker does something like this every week, you can’t be surprised at this point.”

“You don’t understand,” he snaps, ignoring the heat he can feel rising into his face and ears. “I was going to do a sadistic maze at the university. Me! That fucking clown stole my idea! I mean, am I the only person with any goddamn integrity in this vile city?” He collapses back onto the couch, throwing his arms up. “I had the whole thing planned out, all the pieces built and ready to be set up and he just swoops in with his dollar store makeup and awful dye job and ruins everything like he always does. I mean, do you know how hard it is to build a maze from scratch and make it appear with fully functional traps and people in it before the cops show up? It’s not easy, I’ll say that. And it’s not cheap either!”

Jonathan watches Edward’s hysterical monologue in silence, takes a few moments to digest the entirety of the rant, and then bursts out laughing.

Edward’s jaw drops. Usually when Jonathan laughs it’s little more than a sharp exhale or the hint of a smile. But this laugh is a loud, unrestrained cackle, so raspy in places it almost sounds like a wheeze. It’s the first time he’s ever seen his partner seem genuinely tickled by something and he can’t even enjoy it because it’s at his own expense. He can’t tell if he’s more shocked to see his partner’s entire body wracked with laughter, or more indignant that he’s being laughed at in the first place. He snaps his mouth shut, his face screwing up into a scowl. “It’s not funny.”

“It absolutely is. Your whole thing with the Joker is hilarious.”

“It is not! He’s completely destroying my reputation, my career in this town. I mean, now I can never do that heist I had planned because the Joker already did it and everyone’s already accusing me of ripping off his costume and gimmick. If I even mention that I had the same idea, then people are going to try and accuse me of stealing his fucking intellectual property too.” He gets up again, pacing almost frantically around the room. “It doesn’t even make sense for him to do something with a school, I mean, I’m the one whose whole aesthetic and MO has to do with knowledge and learning. He should go terrorize a fucking comedy club or something, leave the higher education to those of us whose brain cells haven’t been fried by a vat of acid.” He glares at Jonathan who is still doubled over with laughter. “Stop laughing at me, I’m serious.”

He raises a hand to cover his mouth, though it does nothing to soothe his amusement. “I’m sorry. But you have to admit, you sound ridiculous right now.”

“I fail to see how this is ridiculous.”

“You’re demanding artistic integrity from a man who dresses like a clown and kills people for fun.” Jonathan manages to stifle his laughter a bit, but Edward knows he’s never going to let him live this down. “Besides, neither of you went to college so I don’t see how you have more of a right to a university based maze heist than him.”

He rolls his eyes. Jonathan loves to point out that Edward never went to college because it’s the only real accomplishment he has that Edward couldn’t easily replicate. Just because Jonathan suffered through nine years of higher education that would have driven Edward into a murderous rage doesn’t mean he’s better than him. “A maze is a type of puzzle is it not? Last time I checked I was the prince of puzzles which, in my eyes, makes me more entitled to use mazes in my traps. I also think it makes me sound cooler. I mean, ‘clown prince of crime’? How pathetic is that.”

“They’re both pathetic,” Jonathan says. “I don’t know why people keep trying to call us princes like we’re not all broke psychopaths.”

“I’m not broke.”

“But you don’t deny being a psychopath?”

Edward continues to glower at the other man who is still fighting against a smile. “I can’t believe you’re not on my side right now.”

Jonathan shrugs. “I mean, you have to admit your costume color schemes are remarkably similar.”

“They are not! My preferred color scheme is green and purple, his is purple and green, okay, they’re distinctly different!”

“Edward,” he says, using that tone he always takes when Edward is acting irrational, “Don’t you think you’re taking this a bit too seriously?”

“Not in the slightest,” he insists, knowing that this is arguably a stupid thing to care about. “You’ll never know what it’s like to always play second fiddle to everyone’s favorite costumed criminal. At least people are scared of you. Everyone just thinks I’m some kind of joke thief.”

“Well, maybe you need to give them something to be scared of. Show them you mean business.”

“Oh yeah? And how do you propose I do that in a way that is both on brand and not derivative of the Joker’s own crime sprees?”

Jonathan’s smile changes, becoming less humorous and more devious. Edward can see the familiar gleam in his eye that indicates the Scarecrow’s mind is hard at work. There’s the Jonathan he’s used to. “I bet I could give you a few ideas,” he says slyly, finishing the rest of his drink in a single swallow. “If you don’t have any qualms about torturing people.”

Despite the fact that he’s still annoyed with Jonathan for making fun of him, Edward can’t help but flash a smile back at the other man. There’s just something about those clever, sinister eyes that always draw him right back in. “What did you have in mind?”

#i know this was a long road to walk to fulfill the prompt but I hope u enjoy #scriddler #scarecrow #riddler #jonathan crane #edward nygma #batman #dc #my writing #joker #just a reference tho bc he's stinky

40 notes · View notes

charliedawn · 3 years

Text

The Joke's on Us part 4

Warning : possessive behavior.

A dark shadow floats on top you and gently caresses your face.

" Soon..We'll be reunited, old friend."

Penny gasps, recognizing that shadow from the deep confines of his memories..Maturin had mentioned him when they were still friends.

" Shardik.."

At the mention of his name, the shadow quickly turns towards Penny whose breath stops. Shardik's smile widens and he floats on top of Penny to stare at him straight in the eyes.

" Ah..You must be one of the creatures Maturin created. A shame, I really thought you would be more..impressive ?"

Penny only snarls at him before responding with a threat.

" What were you doing ? I swear that if you touch her..I'll kill you."

The entity, far from being intimidated, only laughs loudly at Penny's menace which seems to amuse him more than anything.

" Really ? And how will you do that without your powers, Penny ? Don't forget that I am as powerful as you were and as old as Maturin. Funny, the old turtle really thought you and Pennywise could stop me when he is gone. Imagine how much he was disappointed when he realized that your hatred towards humanity was blinding you. He never got you those powers to use them against humans, or children..He wanted you to protect them. But, now that the old turtle is dead and you two are too weak to stop me. I'll be able to rule over that planet. I'll suck upon its energy until there is nothing left. I'll even start with you little charming town. Derry, is it ?"

Penny glares up at him, but had to admit that he can't protect you like this. Now that he is only human, he is happy, happier than he's ever been..but..The shadow chuckles evilly in the shell of his ear.

" That planet has been without order for much too long..It passed its life expectancy hundreds of years ago..But don't worry, as soon as I will have ate her, Maturin's powers will be in me and I will make sure to bring an end to humanity.."

Penny growls at the mention of you being eaten by Shardik and tries to jump on him with a roar.

" Don't you dare touch her !"

However, he suddenly wakes up, covered in sweat and sees that you are the one who woke him up. Your eyebrows are tensed in obvious worry and, without any words, Penny wraps his arms around you. He had felt fear before..but not like that..never like that..His heart is racing against his ribcage and he is holding onto you like it is the last time.

" P..Penny ? Are you alright ?"

Your question makes him open his eyes and come back to reality. You are running your hand gently on top of his head, smoothing his hair in the process to calm him down. He finally steps back and looks at Pennywise that had woken up as well. The both of them had felt it..He was coming back. You look at the both of them with a confused expression and finally ask, tired by the secrecy of both men.

" That's it. What's going on ? Why do you look so grave all of a sudden ?!"

Penny doesn't answer, he only stands up and gets out of the room without another word. You turn towards Pennywise, hoping for some kind of explanation. He doesn't peep either and only returns to the sofa that had become his bed for the time being. However, you don't let it go and sit in front of him with a determined look on your face.

" Now, you're going to tell me what's going on."

You didn't mean to make it sound like an order, but you couldn't just let them fend for themselves anymore. Pennywise finally turns towards you and sighs loudly before telling you what this was all about.

" Penny and I always had a very deep connection with Maturin, we could feel his presence and so could he. However, Maturin is not the only entity out there. The world has at least 12 entities guarding it. One of them being Shardik..Shardik is one of the twelve guardians of Beams that hold up The Dark Tower. It is a cyborg bear that stands over forty feet tall and one ugly unkillable bastard with more energy than millions of suns. He was pissed to know that I killed his brother and wanted to come and exterminate this planet on which lives his brother's murderer..But like many, he was scared of us. But now that we lost our powers ? He's coming, and with you being the turtle's successor ? We will all die for sure."

You lean against the back of your chair and sigh loudly. You only are a painting teacher..Of course he would crush you. But, that didn't mean you had to give up.

" Well, aren't you the optimist ?! Why don't you show me how to fight instead of complaining ?!"

He ignores you and only turns his back to you as he pretends to fall asleep again. You stand up and suddenly throws his blanket off. That get a reaction and you can hear a growl from him as he stands up to face you menacingly.

" Why ?! You want to know why ?! Because of this !"

He suddenly takes you by the shoulder and digs his thumb in your wounded flesh. You whine in pain and Pennywise immediately retracts his hand.

" Do you really think that you'll ever be able to vanquish Shardik the bear with a human body ?! He would squish you in an instant! Learn how to heal yourself, then we'll talk about your fighting skills.."

You glare at him: deep inside, you know he is right, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating. You humph at him before leaving the room to join your bedroom, but then, you hear someone crying upstairs. You follow the sound and find Penny, sitting on the floor and leaning against one of the corridor's wall. He looks up at you when he hears you approaching and you crouch by his side with a reassuring smile.

" Hey..We're going to be okay..Alright ?"

You try to comfort him, but he only sobs.

" What if..What if you can't beat him ? What if the only solution is for us to get back into who we were ?"

You sigh, knowing that if there were to be no other solution, you would have to break your promise..You would have to hurt them, one way or another.

" I guess I'll have to change you back. I know that I prefer you to have the choice but..If there are no other solution, I'll have to break my promise. I can't let you die. Not when I know I could have avoided it.."

You sit next to him and you both stay quiet for a moment, lost in your thoughts until Penny looks at you with his eyes full of uncertainty.

" And what if I don't want to get back to what I was ? What if I want to stay human ?"

You can't help but smile and tears start to build up in your eyes..Why couldn't the universe leave them alone ? You are so close to them finally accepting their new forms..

" Then, I'll guess it'll be my job to be sure that you don't have to."

He smiles back and before you know it, you are both holding hands. You don't try to get it out, even though you know that at any moment, Penny could come back to his old ways. You're not scared of him, you aren't even sure if you ever really were ? You don't even notice that Pennywise had climbed up the stairs and is now looking at the both of you from afar with a slight frown. He only turns away and waits when he is safe in is bed to grunt.

" What does she find in him..?"

Unaware that his eyes glow a slight orange in the dark for a second.

The next day, you decide that it's grocery shopping time. However, the two clowns are still sound asleep and you take the opportunity to get out alone. Once in the street, you take a breath of fresh air and start walking towards the shop, wondering what you should buy for the two men. You enter the shop and start looking around. You are lost in your thoughts and don't see another person coming in your direction. You suddenly collide with said person and look up to see a man with blue eyes and a nice smile.

" I'm sorry. I didn't see you there."

He extends his hand towards you and you take it with a grateful smile.

" No. It's me. I should have looked where I was going."

His smile widens as you shake his hand. He introduces himself.

" I'm Dan. I don't really know my way around here. I'm the new teacher from down the block."

You smiles politely and introduce yourself as well.

" I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you. I'm the Art teacher of the neighborhood."

His eyes seem to light up at the mention of you being an Art teacher.

" Really ?! You're the Art teacher ? My cousin never stops talking about you. Tom ?"

You seem to remember last time and wince at the memory. Seems like Tom hadn't said anything about the incident..You try your best to keep your composure and automatically feel that you need to make amends somehow.

" Do you want..Do you want a coffee ?"

He smiles again and nods.

" Sure ! Lead the way."

You take your groceries and pay them before getting out. You end up in a small coffee shop and both take what you want before sitting outside.

" I'm sorry. You must think it's weird that I never came before. I just moved in from the States so..Tom isn't even aware that I'm back yet."

Oh. Well, you still hoped that Tom hadn't talked to anyone about what had happened. You smile and shake you head.

" Not at all. Tom is a very nice boy and I always like to meet the families of my students. It helps to understand them better. Although, it's the first time I actually invite a member for a coffee."

" I should be honored then."

He takes a sip of his coffee before winking playfully at you. You blush and let a small chuckle.

" To tell you the truth..Tom and I have been quite distant since our older brother died. I do sometimes feel guilty for leaving him, but.."

You see that he is concerned and put you hand on his compassionately.

" I'm sorry..It must have hurt."

You had heard about Tom losing a brother, he did have a period when he could only draw dark things. Horrible things. It must have been a shock for everyone in his family. Dan smiles gratefully at you before answering.

" Don't worry. It's been a year now. I'm stronger than this."

You smile sadly at him, but then feel two very familiar shadows looming over you from behind. A hand grabs your shoulder and squeezes it in silent warning.

" Hi Y/N. Who is this ?"

Penny..And Pennywise is certainly not far behind. Dan stands up and stretches his hand towards them with a bright smile.

" Oh ! Sorry ! My name is Dan, I'm the brother of one of Y/N's students. And you are ?"

You are about to answer when Pennywise does it for you. He takes his hand and smiles forcefully.

" Pleasure. My name is Robert, and this is Bob. We're her roommates. Unfortunately, she seems to have forgotten about us this morning. You should have woke us up, Y/N. We would have helped you with the groceries."

He may sound calm, but you know better: the way he pronounces the last word makes you understand that he is pissed. Even Dan seems to understand as he retracts his hand and addresses you one last smile.

" Well..I should go. It was nice to meet you, Y/N."

However, he still writes something on a piece of paper and hands it to you.

"Here is my number, just in case."

He then gives one last nod in acknowledgement to the two men before turning and walking away. You have cold sweat running down your back as you can feel the murderous glares of the two clowns behind you.

" Let's go. Shall we ?"

Penny finally ask, more like commands as he grabs you harshly by the arm and drags you towards the house. You just have the time to get your bags. As soon as you are home, you run towards the kitchen and pretend to be busy with putting the grocery items on the shelves and in the fridge.

" W..What do you want for..?"

You don't have the time to finish your sentence as Pennywise suddenly comes behind you and wraps his arms around you.

" Now, princess..You're going to turn around and face us. We're not angry. We just want to talk."

"..Just want to talk..?"

You repeat with a broken voice, making sure that you heard right. Pennywise only nods slowly and you gulp loudly before turning around with your eyes closed tight.

" Come on, darling..You know that we want to see your eyes..Come on."

You tentatively open one eye, then the other in shock. They are not angry..They are very mad. You see that their eyes have changed colors and their skins are white..the same white than a few weeks ago. Suddenly, Penny takes you by the throat and pins you to the fridge while Pennywise presses his nose again your throat. He then inhales deeply and growls perceptibly.

" Looks like your little stunt hurt us more than we thought..I'm smelling your fear, sweetheart. And it smells delicious..One more minute, and we would have surely taken our true appearances back."

You don't understand. You hadn't hurt them, so why are they taking their clown forms back ?! Why are they angry even ?! You try to breathe, but Penny's mouth is against yours in a second..You open your eyes wide 'Everything makes sense now. They are jealous. Pain..They're in pain. You whimper when he bites your bottom lip. But, you don't open your mouth and he groans.

" You are going to open that mouth, sweet thing..Or I'm not sure you'll have a mouth to close at the end of the day.."

You open your eyes wide and tears are falling down your face. You don't have a choice but to open your mouth. But before he could do much, Pennywise gets a hold of him and throws him away from you.

" What the heck, Penny ?! When I said we were supposed to talk, I didn't mean by putting your tongue in her mouth ! Jeez ! Get a hold of yourself, kid !"

For a moment, shame and guilt seem to take a hold of Penny and he shakily stands back. He seems confused himself..Why did he do that ? Pennywise is taken aback by the clown's kiss..Where the heck did he even learn that from ?! Pennywise then returns to you, curled into a little ball on the floor and his heart tightens..Sh*t. They got carried away..Again. He sighs loudly and takes back his human form. Penny also loses his white skin and his yellow eyes. He wants to approach you but, you cry out.

" Don't touch me !"

Penny freezes and tries to nuzzle your neck as an apology, but you frown and push him back.

" No, Penny ! I'm angry ! You didn't have the right ! I didn't want you to be my first kiss ! I wanted someone who loved me !"

He looks up to Pennywise for help, but the older clown just shrugs. He has no idea of what to do..Truth is, he doesn't even know what all the problem is with "first kiss". He knows that a girl had to remain pure in order to marry when he was still alive..But he thought that rule had been abandoned long ago ? However, you seem very upset and Penny doesn't like it when you cry. He tries to think of a solution, of anything to make you forget what happened..He wants to get out the music box, but in your rage, you grab it and smash it against the wall. To your horror, you realize too late what you've done and Penny roars before pouncing on you, his teeths bare and ready to chomp on you. Pennywise tries to make him get off you, but he is too weak and Penny doesn't have any problem pushing him aside. However, Pennywise falls and knocks his head against a nearby table. You can see blood, and so does Penny. Penny quickly gets back to his human form and shakes Pennywise to wake him up.

" Pennywise ! What's going on ?!"

Pennywise only groans in pain when Penny shakes him again. You instantly come by his side and automatically feel the sweat covering his arms and forehead. You then see a strange mark on his neck and blood starts getting out from his nose, eyes and ears. You quickly unbutton his shirt and gasp in horror.

" Oh my God.."

He was covered by black sports that seemed to spread all over him like a..a disease.

" P..Pennywise. Did you have the..?"

" The black plague ?"

He guesses and you nod. He sighs and finally nods.

" Yes. It was not as bad as my family though.."

You bite your lower lip..By how fast it was spreading, he had a few hours at best. The disease seemed to have survived with him. You are about to call the ambulance when Pennywise stops you.

" Don't..Don't call the hospital. Those bastards won't know what to do..They're not prepared. Plus, they could get infected."

You sigh before remembering that..

" Pennywise..You bit me."

Your voice is shaking as you wonder if you will have it too..? Pennywyse's eyes widen and he curses.

" Sh*t. I have no idea.."

You have trouble breathing and put your hands in your pockets as you pace back and force, wondering what you should do ? You suddenly feel something inside your palm and quickly get it out to look at it. Sam's number..Inviting him could maybe break the deal and make them return to what they were ? Save them ? You shiver at the thought. Yes..But at what price ? You look back at Pennywise, his eyes are closed and his breathing very bad..You don't have a choice. You call him. It doesn't take you long to have him on the other side of the line.

" Hello ?"

" Sam ? Hey ! Could you come over ?"

You emphasize on his name, which make both of the clowns groan loudly in disapproval. However, they know what you're trying to do and don't try to stop you.

" Yeah ! Sure! I'll be right here !"

You force yourself to smile, still wanting to sound excited as to see him. However, the clowns seem to slowly change and growl loudly in the background. You hang off and look at them with a small sad smile.

" You know that it's the only way..Please, don't make this even more complicated than it really is."

Both clowns seem to understand your sacrifice and Pennywise slowly takes your hand with, for the first time in forever, tears in his eyes.

" Thank you, sweetheart."

You only nod and then, ask Penny to move him upstairs, as for Dan not to see him. He reluctantly agrees and helps you move the man upstairs. You then ask Penny to go hide in the basement. You prepare yourself and it doesn't take long for the doorbell to ring. You take a big breath before opening the door and letting Dan in. He looks around and finally smiles at you.

" Hi. So, what did you want to talk about ?"

You bite your lip and start thinking of a good reason for his presence.

" I..I just thought that it's been a long time since I've last had company and I wanted to see you again.."

He smiles and nods before sitting down on the couch. You gulp loudly before sitting beside him and looking at everything but him. He seems to catch on your nervousness and gently runs his hand on your back to soothe you.

" Hey, if you're not ready, I understand. I can wait and.."

" No !"

You hadn't meant to sound so desperate, but Pennywise was dying and you didn't know how to save him but to hurt him the only way you could. You take Dan by the collar and suddenly kiss him on the lips. He seems surprised at first, but reciprocates soon enough. You open your eyes and see that his are closed, he is actually enjoying the kiss. You smile. Maybe it wasn't so bad ? Penny and Pennywise would go down to the sewers and you would get to have a normal life back. However, you should have known that things wouldn't be so simple. Dan starts to be more persistent and slowly slides his hand up your thigh.

" No, Dan, wait.."

But he doesn't wait and only deepens the kiss to shut you up. Suddenly, someone pushes you apart harshly and you see Penny that took back his original form. He glares at Dan and growls menacingly before taking you in his arms and running in the basement. When he stops, you call him, nervous and scared that he would hurt you.

" Penny ?"

You ask, afraid that something had gone wrong..But, Penny only smiles with his multiple rows of very sharp teeths before answering you in his familiar high-pitched singing voice.

" ~I'm back.."

You smile in relief, but Penny suddenly takes you by the throat and you only have the time to look at him with widened eyes.

" Don't look at me like that..We wouldn't want Shardik to come and get you.."

When you fall into complete darkness, you barely hear Penny adding something in the shell of your ear.

" Don't worry. When all of this is over, we'll make sure to remind you who you truly belong to..You've been playing with us for too long, pet. With no humanity to abide by, there will be nothing to hold me back.."

Whereas upstairs, Pennywise enters the room transformed as you and takes Dan by the neck to kiss him harshly. However, when Dan opens his eyes, Pennywise is standing before him with a large grin.

" Surprise, shawty ! Not the person you were expecting, huh ? What ? Never kissed a clown before ? Remember that when the girl says no, it means no."

And then, without a warning, Pennywise sinks his teethes into Dan's shoulder. However, he doesn't scream. Pennywise feels something acid in his mouth and quickly steps back with a sour growl.

" You aren't human.."

Dan only chuckles before sitting on the couch in a nonchalant manner. His skin quickly turning to a pale shade of white and his eyes brighten almost mischievously.

" Man..Didn't think it would take you this long to figure it out.."

#fandoms #fanfic #imagine #pennywise 1990 #pennywise 1990 x y/n x pennywise 2017 #pennywise 2017 #pennywise x reader

31 notes · View notes

curiosity-killed · 3 years

Note

Hi....If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite MXTX characters (top 5 from each novel)? And why? I'm sorry if you've answered this question before.

Aw of course I don’t mind! Though I feel like my answer is going to be a disaster bc I love these casts so so much aha let’s see:

✨ SPOILERS AHEAD ✨

MDZS/CQL

1. Wei Wuxian

Ah so I feel like this is obvious based on the sheer quantity of things I produce and the effort I put into hurting him 😅 but yeah! I love how much of a classical tragic hero he is and I love how much love he has and how that gets twisted around and shaped into a collar of spikes around his own neck. I saw gif sets of wwx before I ever knew about CQL and my reaction was “fuck. I’m going to love him” and I do! And I love that he does learn from his past and I love most of all that he learns to accept the love he is given and is able to make a happy ending in a place of being loved and held in respect and appreciation

2. Wen Qing

On the other hand, I did not expect to be like “mine now” with Wen Qing. Don’t get me wrong, the sexy immortal look got me but it wasn’t really till I started writing fic that I was like ohhhhh Oh Boy. Wen Qing is brilliant and ruthless, fiercely loving and aloof and cold. I love that she gets the lose-lose challenge of balancing what is right for her family vs what is right in the world, what she owes to her sect and what she owes to individuals. The golden core transfer is my favorite dubious science experiment in p much all media I’ve consumed. She gets to be so human—prickly and tough and also achingly gentle and afraid and putting on a tough face and sometimes still crying. “I’m sorry and thank you” ! Im!!

3. Jiang Yanli

The first fic I wrote for this fandom was literally “Jiang Yanli died no she didn’t” lmao I do feel like I underserve Jiang Yanli in that I often fall prey to using her to further the complexity that the male characters are permitted while denying her the chance to be given the same space for development and breath — something to work on! But in that, I really genuinely love how tightly she binds herself to her family and how she tries so hard to be what others need her to be—and then she does make a choice for herself and for a single moment at least, she gets to be loved and to be happy and to have this, a husband and a son and a place, for herself. And terribly I love how much she permeates the story still after death. She is the unspoken voice, the face turned from the camera but always still present, carried in the hearts and names and memories of the ones left behind

She deserved better but—I am weak for the tragedy of it all

4. Jiang Cheng

Another surprise (tho hardly surprising in hindsight): Jiang Cheng is just...horribly understandable. He makes terrible choices and his greatest heroism is undone by a choice made for him or, in the case of “killing the Yiling Laozu” is a lie. He is such a youngest sibling who doesn’t want to be the youngest until all at once, he’s the one in charge and he doesn’t want it at all. He is full of anger and hurt and so much love he doesn’t know what to do with it, doesn’t want it anymore, has no place to put all of its terrible, overwhelming flood.

5. Lan Wangji

I almost didn’t put Lan Wangji or Jiang Cheng on here and then I realized that this is sort of a list of characters I’m pickiest about in fic and...yeah. I think what I love best about Lan Wangji is his journey of grief and healing and through that, his decision to step into world. Where Wei Wuxian’s decision to travel and be removed from the cultivation world (in varying degrees depending on your headcanon preference lol) is really, really important to me, Lan Wangji’s decision to go from being an isolated lone agent working apart from the systems of the world to being involved and invested in changing those systems and working to make them better is also really important to me. I’ve talked before about how relatable Lan Wangji is to me (esp with regards to our interaction with the outer world) and there is something deeply hopeful and comforting about post-timeskip Lan Wangji being in his like mid-/late-30s and still making decisions and growing and changing and choosing to invest himself in the world and the future

yeah. i have thoughts here that I don’t really have the maturity, life experience, or articulation to put into words but Lan Zhan Good basically

TGCF

1. Xie Lian

suuuurpriiiiise!! Yeah honestly mxtx’s mains in TGCF and MDZS really just hit all my buttons basically. What appeals to me most of all about Xie Lian is, fittingly, how he is humanity taken to extremes. His capacity for incredible kindness and compassion is equaled with his capacity for cruelness and ruthlessness. His heaven-shaking highs are matched with calamitous lows. He is the hyperbolic of what it is to be human—and he is also the small moments, the wildflowers and the maple leaves and the mundane chores and the comfort of whispered conversations late into the night. I could quite literally go on for pages about what I love about Xie Lian but I am not Hua Cheng and can restrain myself LMAO

2. Hua Cheng

of all the characters on these lists, Hua Cheng is the one I’m pickiest about tbh! When I say I love him for similar reasons as Xie Lian I don’t actually mean this as being similarities between the two but the fact that both of them so richly convey mxtx’s points about the nature of humanity and what it is to be human. Hua Cheng is both the boldest and most arrogant of all and also the most vulnerable, the one who shies away from the truth because he’s braced for it to hurt and isn’t sure he can take it. He is gory blood rain and an umbrella to shelter a fragile bloom; he is a blade whose wounds only heal if he permits it and he is a sacrifice that he brushes aside as a fit of madness. *pats his head* this boy can fit SO MUCH inside him that he refuses to acknowledge

3. Jun Wu

Definitely my favorite antagonist in recent reading. I was doubtful of him from the start (something something issues with authority something something probably should talk to my theoretical future therapist shhh) but the unfolding of his reveal was so delightfully painful and exquisite that I was like “YES!!!” reading all of it. About the epitome of a satisfying plot twist imo. But about the character himself, I love how he parallels so many — Xie Lian in his rise and fall, his glory and disgrace; Hua Cheng in his fixation and ruthlessness; He Xuan in losing himself to the plot and not knowing how to move forward. I love that he feels beyond human in a way the others don’t—he’s so old and has gone through so much and he doesn’t feel things the way humans do anymore, doesn’t remember right how love squeezes the heart or how hate can exist without acting on it. I love that he thinks he knows how to control everyone and that it’s such mundane things that fool him: Xie Lian’s absurd stubbornness, Hua Cheng’s foolish faith, Yin Yu’s...emotional maturity??? Not Sure how to verbalize that one. But in the end, he is defeated by both the humanity of others and by his own—he’s so tired. He’s exhausted in a way that gods and ghosts aren’t meant to be. He is, under the armor and the masks, the curses and the power, human—benevolent and cruel, evil and good.

4. He Xuan

I love my fish man! No but really I love how He Xuan is so fixed on his one goal that he refuses to acknowledge anything else in his (after)life—which doesn’t make it go away. I love that he is left unmoored, purposeless through the very act of completing that which gives him purpose. I love his long con and the ways he clings to himself but loses himself not in the act but in the telling himself it’s an act. I love that he tries to be a moral man and then becomes a ghost king, a calamity. His reveal is also terribly badass and I do love his bone fish wholly unironically. Like I’m not going to get a He Xuan tattoo (for one thing I’ve been meaning to get a tattoo for 5 years and still haven’t gotten around to it) but also. B o n e f i s h

5. Mu Qing

Of course! The Jiang Cheng of tgcf lol Mu Qing (which my phone desperately wants to autocorrect to my Qing) is so...gah he’s such a mess! And he so fully commits to the belief that no one will ever see and understand him as he is but will always view them through their own convictions about him and his actions — which is simultaneously heartbreakingly lonely and also. Sir You Are a Clown. I genuinely think he’s owed apologies from both Feng Xin and Xie Lian for their treatment and assumptions of him and think that he would be HORRIBLY offended at the thought (while secretly touched? But like secretly even to himself). He will never explain himself and will just clam up tighter the more people accuse him and it’s such a self-sabotaging behavior and also so horribly relatable. I love u sir, you’re a disaster

SVSS I have not read but I do really like the moshang art 😂

#long post #asked & answered #lol sorry this is so long and incoherent #the truth is that I really love these stories and their casts #and I think it’s v hard to extricate the characters from the cast #because they are so deftly and beautifully interwoven #but here are the characters I think are my favorites lol #loosely in order #tgcf spoilers #also this is why I prefer tgcf to mdzs tbh?#jgy is intellectually interesting to me and a good antagonist #but not personally compelling in the way jw is

22 notes · View notes

thoughtfullyyoungduck · 4 years

Text

And he said, I hope you know how to swim

A/N: this is for the gift exchange from @itfandomprompts! My giftee is @iheartthoreau who asked for shy skinny dipping lovers and jealous Eddie. I’m sorry it’s out so late, I hope you enjoy it anyway!

Summary: The Derry midnight breeze is freezing, Eddie notes, still dressed in a shirt and pants and dreading having to get rid of them. He’s bare foot now, standing on top of the quarry and peering down into the glinting lake. Next to him, also bare foot, Richie looks over his shoulder, and laughs, bright and innocent.

warnings: skinny dipping, mentioned of nudity (but nothing graphic)

read on a3o

The atmosphere of six best friends who’ve just moved past the worst stages in their life cackles in Eddie’s brain.

He’s buzzed up, energized beyond all logic by the laughter and loving gestures so carelessly tossed around in their group. Pennywise is dead, and with it the looming threat following each of them around and the teasing unhappiness hinting at what they were missing but not giving any clues as to what.

It’s all over now, and a road full of new opportunities lays ahead of them. Everyone is acting loose, ecstatic with the weight that fell off their shoulders. Eddie’s feeling a tad guilty too, for calling Myra and informing her that way about their upcoming divorce that he’s going to set in motion as soon as he’s had a good night sleep, but he felt so brave after surviving a literal killer clown, that he wanted to get it over with as soon as possible.

A part of him was also frightful that he’d lose his courage, between now and getting home, that he’d look around his house and accept that this was all he was destined for, a mediocre life with a wife he didn’t love and a job that sucked the joy out of all employees. Myra deserved better though, and that’s why Eddie’s guilty eyeing his phone, debating on calling her back. He won’t take back what he said, because he’s relieved to have put it out in the open, but he’s unsure if he should have been more empathetic towards her feelings in all of this. If he should have ended the call after telling her to take care.

Bev notices his wandering eyes from where she seated beside him on the couch, the woman still laughing a stitch, shifting forward and hiding his phone in between seat cushions. Out of sight out of mind so to speak.

‘We’ve got time to worry about it tomorrow Eddie.’ She says, and she’s right. Tomorrow both him and Bev will have to deal with the intricacies of divorce and separating a company and a home. Tonight is reserved for the losers only.

‘Yeah Eds, and here I was assuming that after twenty years we’d have some stuff to catch up on.’

Richie regards him from the floor, legs tossed up upon the couch with his body upside down. His glasses are sliding off, but he’s lazy to fix them, so he looks like even more of a goofball than normal. If Eddie could, if he didn’t feel like his intentions would be even more noticeable if he did, he’d scoot over to Richie, adjusting his glasses and letting his fingers trail his cheek and bask in the skin to skin contact.

‘You never did anything interesting before we went to college, what makes you think you’ve done something interesting after?’ Eddie’s tongue is sharp, a façade he builds to stop speculation about his feelings towards Richie, though the truth is that he is intrigued and he craves to know every small detail about his life outside of Derry.

‘No you guys are not starting this again. I’m sick of your bickering,’ Bill interjects, rolling his eyes at the pair.

‘I reject that big Bill, we’re hilarious, you can’t be sick of us bickering when you haven’t had the pleasure of hearing it for the last twenty years. Michael, back me up here buddy.’

‘Sorry Rich, I’m not getting involved in the slightest.’

‘Yeah guys come on, can’t we have one quiet night in?’

‘What so Eddie can just call me boring and I’m supposed to let it slide? Me? I’m the fireworks on the Fourth of July, the highest roller coaster in the park and the whipped cream on strawberries, but I am not boring.’ Richie changes positions, almost accidentally knocking over his beer bottle. He theatrically waves his arms back and forth, trying to animate his words and add conviction.

‘Okay, okay you’re not boring, but don’t overrate yourself either. The most adventurous thing you ever did in high school was skip a class to read a comic book in the school’s bathroom. Not exactly daredevil behavior.’

Bev sips from her whiskey, winking at Richie whose face turns beet red for a reason Eddie can’t decipher. It’s not until Bev conspicuously blows out a gust of air with her lips puckered that Eddie connects the dots.

‘Didn’t you say you ditched because you were smoking with Beverly? Dude did you fucking lie about that? I was worried you’d die and get cancer ever since that day you piece of shit.’

‘No I definitely did smoke. I swear.’

‘You’re not kidding anyone Rich, I vouched for you all those years ago, but I’m not doing it again. Little Richie was a comic book nerd who just pretended to be really cool. We never ever smoked together.’

The losers all holler, clapping their hands together and cheering on the exposure of their foulmouthed friend, debunking all the story Richie apparently made up where he and Be had to sneak out at night to smoke inconspicuously, with the exception of Eddie and Richie. Eddie, because he’s busy glaring at Richie and Richie because he’s busy tapping Bill’s hand away, teasingly disheveling his hair.

Eddie wishes he was brave enough to give these little affections to his friend, especially after witnessing how soothed Richie got when Eddie hugged him after Neibolt, when he had dropped his face into the nape of Eddie’s neck and stayed there, swaying on his feet of exhaustion. It would only make him a good friend, a best friend, but Eddie is still so damn afraid.

He might have had the power to separate from his wife and kill an abstract form of his deepest fears, but Bowers angry yelled words, such as fairy and faggot, swung to his head any time he and Richie graveted closer while walking, haunt him even now.

Touching is off limits the words tell him, so he shows affection the only way he’s ever known towards Richie, by bickering and pulling pigtails.

‘I should have expected that.’ Eddie nods vehemently, laughing as Richie’s mouth drops open in a shocked manner.

‘Are you kidding me? Eddie Spaghetti is the one telling me I’m a loser?’

Eddie flips him off, ignoring Mike’s whispered; ‘he’s got a point’, in favor of levitating his full attention on Richie. The giggling in the room elevates an octave higher.

‘You all laugh’, Richie addresses the entire group, ‘but was I not the one who came up with the idea for the list?’

Abruptly, all sounds snap off, as everyone is snapped back to the past. Even Richie is, at face value, confused about the word he spoke, until the concept and creation of the list is brought to the forefront of everyone’s mind.

‘Holy shit.’

‘Oh my god Mike please tell me you still have it.’

Mike shakes his head with a far-off look. ‘Sorry guys, I don’t know who had it last but I never found it again.’ He’s saddened by it, like he did them all an injustice by not holding on to a flimsy piece of paper.

The List, capital L, was nothing more but a checklist, composed with all the fun and dangerous things the losers all had hopes of doing after graduating high school. Eddie remembers now, the hushed laughter and uncompromisable joy that came with the simple idea of these things, how everyone pitched in and added dare after dare while him and Stan exchanged glances and hoped to god that some things would never be executed.

‘That’s okay Mike, I’m just happy we can all remember making it.’ Ben smiles reassuringly Mike’s way, who smiles back and takes a deep breath.

‘Wait, I think I can recall some of the things we wrote on there. Hold on’, Bev squeezes her eyes shut and snaps her finger in the hope it will get to her faster. ‘Oh’, she exclaims, startling Bill who chokes on his own saliva, ‘we were going to visit Europe, do a high rope parkour, rock climb and some other things I can’t remember right now.’

‘Didn’t we also agree to volunteer in a hospital and go camping in the national forest?’ Ben asks, awaiting confirmation.

‘Yeah we did, Stan was throwing a fit over going camping because of the environment and the dirt, but we were well on our way to convince him.’

‘Wow,’ Richie breathes, chest puffing up and head dropping back into the couch so his face isn’t visible to the rest. ‘I forgot all about that, but come to think of it, I’m pretty sure I did most of those things with Bryan.’

And who the fuck is Bryan? Certainly not Eddie, sweating in fear from the things that were being listed, searching for the most extreme dares he’d seen happen on tv to suggest, doing anything he could to impress Richie. Eddie was terrified of most of the activities on the list, like Bev’s idea to waterski in the ocean, or Mike’s zip lining idea, but he would have done them if it meant he could bask in Richie’s attention, impress Richie to rid himself of scared baby Eddie was so sure he must have been in Richie’s eyes. So who the hell was this Bryan stealing his thunder like that?

‘Who’s Bryan?’ Bev inquires with a smirk, winking at Richie blush ridden face. Eddie’s jealousy rears its ugly head, flaring up and making his head woozy. He simultaneously both considers choking Bev and thanking her for the question.

With Richie’s secret fresh on his mind, the way he’d so shamefully admitted that he was gay and they were the first people he’d ever found the courage to tell, Eddie wondered if Bryan was perhaps someone Richie had been romantically involved with.

Richie would have deserved it, Eddie argues in his mind, to at least for a short period of time have someone love him back as fiercely as he dons it out, but Eddie’s also furious that he stole Richie out from under his nose.

Which is illogical, because even if he and Richie had managed to stay in touch, and Eddie confessed – not much chance there, as Eddie didn’t even tell anyone he was gay when Richie did - there was no guaranty that Richie would’ve reciprocated.

‘No one snoopy’, Richie argues with a jittery leg, ’just some guy I hung out with for a while.’

Bev appears unconvinced, but she’s also respectful towards Richie's decision to not say anything. ‘So which ones did you complete?’

‘I went to Europa senior year of college, smoked a bunch of weed, went zip lining. The normal kind of stuff.’

Zip-lining, or smoking weed for that matter, causes Eddie skin to crawl, not that he’d ever admit it. He hates that that’s not the case for Bryan.

‘Well thanks Rich, none of us ever did anything on the list without the other losers. I guess you didn’t miss us too much.’ It’s not fair, of course it’s not. He can tell by the eagerness to spend time together that Richie was very lonely, and experienced the same aching emptiness where his friends were supposed to be as the rest of them.

The bitter tone of Eddie's speech, and the way Richie’s eyes turn a little dimmer extinguishes the fire of Eddie’s envy. Richie deserves better than him in every way. An apology lies at the tip of his tongue, ready to jump into the open and hopefully aid the wounds before they’re fully developed.

Sensing the impending hurricane of trouble on the horizon Mike is eager to intervene, playing mediator for two forces that are about to collide. ‘Well I mean, we probably wouldn’t have gone through with most of them anyway.’

‘Speak for yourself’, Eddie waves him off, spiteful that Mike has a good point. He would have found a way to undermine their plans and make it so that he could back out without appearing like a meek lamb, for at least half of the activities. If he had known about Bryan’s existence though, he would have done anything. He feels ready now to do anything, to one up him and establish his spot as Richie’s number one.

‘Prove it,’ Bill dares with a lopsided smirk, certain he’s got Eddie beat. He sustains eye contact, reaching for the bag of chips on the table and gnawing on it with the most smug aura Eddie has ever witnessed him having.

‘I would’, Eddie defends fiercely, ‘but we can’t do any of the things in Derry.’

‘Sounds like a cop out to me.’

‘Yeah, sure Big Bill, because you can easily find a zip line here in Derry. The town that refused to spend money on renewing the library back in the eighties is no doubt going to have that installed by now.’

‘What about skinny dipping?’ Ben proposes innocently, having no idea the kind of strain he’s putting Eddie under.

‘That’s a great idea Ben, I forgot we put that one on the list.’ Beverly acknowledges despite Eddie’s frantic head shaking. The room temperature drops down and rises back up steadily, at least according to Eddie. He’s starting to sweat, something he never does and takes pride in – in the office he’s the level headed one, and that’s saying something – and he pulls at his collar to allow some air to ventilate.

Everything except that. A swim in a dirty lake that was most likely infected was a whole plate of different bacteria, and being naked in front of the man he’s in love with is not something Eddie is particularly fond of. He almost asks for a different thing to do, but that would truly be a cop out, and he both refuses to back down in front of Richie and give Bill the satisfaction of being right.

‘Good luck with that Eds, question before this all goes down, am I allowed to use this in my next bit?’

‘Actually,’ Bev interrupts, ‘I think you should join him too.’

‘Hey I wasn’t the one that said I’d be willing to do anything.’

‘No, but you were the one who added it on the list in the first place. C’mon Richie, It’ll be fun. For us, not for you guys, but we’ll get a good laugh out of it.’

Richie is hesitant, same as Eddie, readjusting his glasses again. Eddie is sure that if he says the word Richie will tell everyone to back down for him. He wouldn’t even make fun of Eddie for it, should Eddie give any indication that he wouldn’t want him too. He thinks back to Bryan, and how he wouldn’t have backed down for such a thing, and how in awe Richie must have been seeing the man abandon all safety precaution and go for it, Eddie’s mind is made up instantly.

‘Let’s do it.’ He says without leaving room for argument, nodding at Richie as he looks to him. He hopes Richie will go with it, but is also confident that of course he will. As kids they followed each other everywhere, and surely that hasn’t changed.

‘Really? I mean yeah – sure I guess. Bring it on.’

-----

The Derry midnight breeze is freezing, Eddie notes, still dressed in a shirt and pants and dreading having to get rid of them. He’s barefoot now, standing on top of the quarry and peering down into the glinting lake. Eddie’s jumping from one foot to the other, annoyed that dirt is clinging to his skin and branches are piercing his soles, even more aggravated at the idea of cleaning them in infection filled lake water. Bev better keep her end of the promise, and be waiting near the end of the lake with a pair of fresh pressed towels.

Next to him, also bare foot, Richie looks over his shoulder, and laughs, bright and innocent.

‘I forgot how high this was.’

It is high up, but they’ve done this jump at least a hundred times before, so Eddie’s not worried about the plunge. He’d assume Richie isn’t either, but the man keeps glances towards the path they took to get up here, uncharacteristically silent.

‘It’s okay if you're too scared to go through with it Eduardo, I won’t tell the others.’ Richie smirks when he notices Eddie’s glance, crossing his arms over his chest.

The movement makes his shoulders bulk, highlighting just how much bigger Richie is compared to Eddie. Eddie’s mouth waters, and he starts to worry about how he’s going to have to get through seeing Richie’s naked shoulders in the flesh.

‘Just get undressed will you? Hurry up.’

‘Why? Eager to see my bare ass?’

‘Yeah, because who doesn’t think jumping naked into a lake they frequented as kids is the epitome of sexiness? No you self-centered idiot, I want to get it over with so I can go back to the Inn and grab a warm shower.’

With one last peek, Eddie moves backwards, standing away from the ledge and begins to unbutton his shirt, before thinking better off it. Richie picks up on his hesitation, shifting backwards too and motioning his head towards the ridge.

‘Do you want me to show you how it’s done?’

‘No,’ Eddie objects, ‘I’ll go first.’

‘Why? I’m not going to stare at your junk while you're jumping in if that’s what you're worried about Eddie. I’m not that kind of gay.’ Rarely does Richie toss aside an opportunity to grant Eddie another humorous nickname, so the use of his real name spooks Eddie just enough that he opens his mouth to apologize without even realizing what he’s apologizing for.

Richie’s facial expression, set in a grimace and squinting his eyes defensively, are a dead give away that Eddie’s words are being taken the wrong way. If only Richie knew that Eddie wanted him to go in first so he could avoid the same temptation Richie thought he was forcing on him.

‘Richie no, that’s not what I meant I-.’ Heartfelt compliments are not something Eddie has had a lot of practice for these last few years, and he’s not doing a good job catching up on them either. Therefore he sighs and hopes that he can find another way to prove to Richie he’d never accuse him of something like that. ‘Whatever, just go first already.’

‘Fine but turn around okay?’

Eddie listens to him, back towards Richie and the jump off, though he doesn’t really understand the request. With Richie comes a lot of flair, and he was more or less been prepared for a joke about how Eddie got to confirm how big his dick is in reality.

He waits and listens carefully for the sounds of clothes being dropped on the ground, and he can’t stop his mind from secretly imagining how Richie looks like without them once he distinguishes it. Eddie shakes his head, scolding his own mind.

The next few moments are filled with raspy breaths originating from Richie, footstep sounding further away and then closer again in an erratic pattern. He must be scared of the jump. Under normal circumstances, Eddie would ask to jump in at the same time, but since Richie asked Eddie not to turn around, he won’t.

‘If you don’t jump in the next five minutes,’ Eddie teases, the way Richie used to tease him, ‘I’ll push you in.’ A second later Eddie hears Richie’s loud whooping as he plunges down into the dark water.

Eddie spins, the only thing greeting him the dark with very little light clearing up his path, from the moon. He’s having a hard time to even see where the cliff ends, and he can’t disguise Richie in the water at all.

‘I’m coming in’, he yells to the void, in case Richie can’t discern his body in time and needs to move out of the way. He takes off his clothes, goosebumps erupting on his skin, and folds his pants and t-shirt up neatly, touching the ground with his hands to find a dry spot to lay them on. The air is cold, and so Eddie refuses to linger on top any longer than he has to.

He jogs up to the ledge and darts off before his mind can conjure up the thousands of things that can go wrong from swimming in the dark this late at night. His body flies through the air and connects with the water in one swoop, a pit of glee bursting in Eddie’s stomach. Jumping from the quarry equals freedom, a hot summer day and love for all of his friends, but in particular Richie.

Eddie keeps his head underwater until his lungs burn, eyes closed and allowing himself to just feel all the sensations. Then, something tickles the back of his leg, and the peaceful moment is over. He kicks back the surface, away from the spot where he could swear something touched him, and searches around for Richie.

Richie, with his wet black hair clinging to his forehead, strands of it sticking out in every direction, and his droplet covered glasses, roving more of Eddie’s heart each minute they’re near each other. He’s never looked more beautiful, and Eddie has never had to fight the urge to kiss him as much as he does now.

‘See, I told you I wouldn’t stare Eds, I can’t even see anything with all these splatters on my glasses.’

The moon reflects on the water, so that it’s impenetrable, and neither Rich nor Eddie can look down and see their lower body parts.

What Eddie can see is enough anyway, Richie’s shoulders and part of his chest hold Eddie’s attention, and he forgets to respond to Richie’s comment.

His eyes land on a dark bruise, just on the bottom of Richie’s neck, a remnant of their fight with Pennywise earlier that day. Without thinking, without standing still on the consequences of such an action, Eddie swims closer, stretches his arm out, and lingers his fingertips over the bruise. He carefully positions his body to not touch any other body part of Richie’s except for his fingers on his neck.

He makes an inquisitive noise, thumb stroking over the injury in what he hopes to be a calming matter. He physically can’t pull away, entranced with the way he moves and responds to him, trying but failing to get his fill of Richie clenched.

‘Eddie’, Richie whispers, scared to break the silence and the intimate moment. ‘It’ll be fine. And hey, at least he didn’t do anything to my dick.’

‘Yeah, would have been a shame if it were to become even smaller.’

Richie snorts, retaliating the jest with a wave of dirty water aimed at Eddie.

Eddie gasps, spitting out a bit of water that managed to sneak into his mouth. ‘Oh you’re on.’

The two of them chase each other, and if it weren’t for the fact that they were both naked, Eddie would have thrown his entire body weight in the game to push Richie underwater. As it stands, they just splash back and forth until they’re exhausted and the remnants of their laughter dies out, barely enough energy left to stay afloat side by side.

‘Did you have this much fun with Bryan?’ Eddie asks, a bit envious. He hates how he’s still stuck on the Bryan thing, hates that his mind keeps popping images of them doing the exact same thing only to end it with a kiss.

‘What?’

‘With Bryan, the guy you did all that other stuff with?’

‘Oh no, me and Bryan – we were never together like that.’ Back at the hotel room, Eddie figured that that was a ploy to distract Bev, something Richie just said because he couldn’t comfortably admit the real intent of their relationship. But he’s never lied to Eddie, and his eyes, magnified by his glasses, seem so sincere, Eddie has no other option but to believe him. ‘I-I’m- some other guy already has that place all taken up.’

Eddie stupid, oblivious and dense and everything in between. He knows Richie isn’t talking about him, he knows he could never be the guy Richie would hold all hope out for – he also secretly hopes it’s none of the losers -, but he wants to be so bad. Just one time, just one kiss and he’d be sated enough to let go of his feral behavior towards any potential love interest Richie might have. Just one time.

‘Richie’, Eddie starts, biting his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. He’s taking a huge risk, by foreseeing a rejection but hoping that Richie won’t drop him as a friend because of this. If Eddie doesn’t do this, he’ll never stop wondering what it feels for their lips to meet. He’ll never get over Richie because he never got to experience any with him.

‘Can I kiss you?’ He risks releasing his lip.

Richie is visibly shocked. ‘What? What the fuck? Eddie is this a joke?’

The joke is, as usual, all on Eddie who regrets ever opening his mouth in the first place. He could try to laugh it off, say that it was a joke, but that would mean that he pretends to make a jest out of something Richie has struggled with for his entire life. He’s stuck between a rock and a hard place. Left with no other options but to further dig his own grave, Eddie decides to be honest. At least that means he gets to keep part of his integrity.

‘No Richie of course not, I wouldn’t do that to you. I’m sorry. Look I like you but it’s obviously one sided and I just wanted to know what it felt like to kiss you but it was a stupid request and I shouldn’t have asked you that. Oh god, I never even asked if you were dating someone –‘

‘Eds?’

‘- Fuck can we please forget I said anything so we can still hang out?’

‘Eddie?’

‘What?’

‘Yes. Please kiss me.’

Eddie gapes with his mouth open, struggling for breath and for words. He’s half convinced he misinterpreted the words, but his tilted head proves otherwise. Eddie doesn’t question it further, counting his lucky start for once, and leaning in to his emotions and Richie, breaching the water to get to him.

Their kiss is surprisingly gentle for the ungovernable lead up prior to it. Richie’s lips taste like lake water, but deeper underneath lies a tang of something distinctively Richie. Eddie can’t wait to devour him whole once he’s cleaned up. Their lips move together in tandem, a perfect harmony that for once neither are willing to break.

They pull back, Richie’s arms circling Eddie’s waist, and he smiles. His smile mixed with the love stricken gleam in his eyes, mysteriously tells Eddie that Richie feels the exact same way he does. His chest caves with happiness.

‘I like you too, if it wasn’t obvious. A lot more than Bryan.’

‘For the love of God can we never mention that again? It’s embarrassing. No, Hush’, Eddie says urgently, covering Richie’s mouth with his palm when he opens his mouth to conjure up another joke.

‘Fine,’ Richie says while pulling away from Eddie’s hand. ‘How about we talk about something else then? How the fuck are we supposed to get to our clothes?’

#my writing #reddie imagine #reddie fic #reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrack #richie and eddie #adult losers #it chapter two imagine #eddie x richie

69 notes · View notes

whywouldisayprinter · 3 years

Text

A rookie mistake

Fandom: hunter x hunter

Characters: Tonpa, Hisoka

No pairing

Tags: pre-canon, hunter exam, Hisoka being Hisoka, Tonpa being Tonpa, slight homophobic thoughts, mentions of blood and murder (it's Hisoka what do you expect)

Summary: Tonpa the rookie crusher sees his newest victim walk in, accompanied by flamboyance and the smell of bubble gum. It...does not go as expected.

On ao3: @ Maironsmaid

A rookie mistake

Tonpa was having a field day. Six rookies already fell prey to his friendly facade, taking a big sip of his prepped lemonade.

The doors opened again and Tonpa perked up. Could it be another rookie? Ahhh yes. It seemed to be. At least he hadn't seen the person before. Tonpa was sure he would have remembered a man dressed like clown. The fuchsia hair not really making his appearance any less flamboyant.

Tonpa snickered. A dandy like that should be easy to discourage.

He waited till the tall man had collected his number and then slowly made his way over.

He would compliment the newbie on his atrocious hair before offering one of the lemonade cans. Yes, that should work.

And if he, against all odds, turned the offering down Tonpa was more than sure that, with some well placed slurs and comments, even this candidate could break down into beautiful tiny pieces of failure.

"Heyyyy, welcome to the hunter exam! My name is Tonpa and I am something like an unofficial supervisor. Making sure the newbies all feel welcome and know what's happening. Nice to meet you - ?"

A slow salacious grin spread over the clown's face. Tonpa gulped. This was...not the reaction he had expected.

"Ohh, a small welcoming party, how awfully nice of you~ "

The clowns voice sounded sultry and Tonpa took a step back. He faked a laugh "yeah! I try to make everyone feel right at home, answer any questions that might occur. Oh, you didn't tell me your name! "

He really, really wanted to get this over with. The way the man leered at the other participants most definitely gave Tonpa goose bumps.

"Hmm, you are right. How undeniable rude of me ~" the clown chuckled and Tonpa did not want to hear that sound ever again.

"You may call me Hisoka. Though I don't see any reason why you should refer to me at all." The clown - Hisoka - looked Tonpa up and down lips curling in either amusement or disgust, Tonpa wasn't sure.

What an asshole. This painted dandy of a clown thought he was better than him. What would he do? Give him make-up tips?

Tonpa balled his fists, disgust settling in his stomach. Ohh he would relish when this guy went down.

He tried to keep his friendly mask in place as he grinned up at Hisoka "What a nice name! It's quite unique isn't it? Really fits you! What do you say" Tonpa dug out two cans out of his bag "a toast to our new friendship?"

He held one of the cans out to Hisoka, hoping the other would accept so Tonpa could finally leave his unsettling presence.

His opponent raised an eyebrow, golden eyes, what kind of freak had that eye colour anyways?, slowing looking between the can in Tonpa's outstretched hand and Tonpa's face.

"My, how remarkably nice of you. Tonpa ~ "

He took the can, Tonpa gulped again as he saw the claw like nails of the man, and studied it for a moment.

Couldn't this idiot hurry up a bit? Tonpa fumed. He was this close to eliminating another rookie, but this ridiculous clown acted like he had all the time in the world.

A humming sound sound startled Tonpa from his thoughts. Hisoka, giving another hum, looked up from the can. His smirk caused cold sweat to break out on Tonpa's body. Tonpa suddenly felt like he had made a big big mistake. He took an uncertain step back, knees feeling like they could barely hold his weight.

"My my Tonpa, what a naught boy you are ~ " Hisoka's sing song in that low salacious voice of his was the most terrifying thing Tonpa had ever heard.

"Thinking you could poison me? How ambitious."

He flinched as Hisoka's hand crushed the can, the liquid running down, a strawberry pink puddle on the dirty floor.

His gaze snapped back to Hisoka, whose eyes were tracking the rivulets of pink liquid dripping down his hand.

"Hmm, how disappointing. Not even close to the colour of blood. And here I thought I could have some entertainment. Maybe I should kill you instead. I bet your blood would made your face nearly bearable to look upon ~"

Tonpa turned around and ran. He might liked to play his own psychological games with the rookies, but this man? He was mental, a psychopath! Who thought it was okay to let this murderous clown compete! Did they want everyone to die?!

The sound of a cold laughter followed him as he made his way as far away from Hisoka as possible.

Next year. Next year he would be more careful while looking for rookies to crush. No way he would underestimate someone like that again.

#ithoughtyousaidprinter #hisoka morow #hunter x hunter #ao3 fic #fanfiction #hxh #hxh tonpa #long post #cw mention of blood #cw mention of murder #cw slight homophobia

10 notes · View notes

rpmemesbyarat · 4 years

Conversation

RP meme from "The Company of Wolves" film

Any presents for me?

She's a pest!

Pest, pest!

You have to come out sometime - you can't sulk in there forever!

What makes you so different anyway!

It's not because I want you, either

Poor little lamb!

You don't know these things, you're only a child!

There, there, pet.

It's a long way through the wood, but safe by daylight. Safe if you keep to the path.

Once you stray from the path you're lost entirely!

Never stray from the path, never eat a windfall apple and never trust a man whose eyebrows meet!

A wolf may be more than he seems. He may come in many disguises.

The worst kind of wolves are hairy on the inside, and when they bite you, they drag you with them to Hell!

Don't they have girls where you come from?

Come out of the shadows. Let me see you, my love.

So you think I'm handsome?

The first thing I noticed about you - was the way your eyebrows meet.

I told you I heard a wolf last night!

Your children - but not my children! Whore! Adulteress!

You hoped I'd never come back!

I thought the wolves had taken you!

I'd never let a man strike me.

Oh, they're nice as pie until they've had their way with you. But once the bloom is gone, oh, the beast comes out.

When the real wolves mate, do the dogs beat the bitches

afterward?

Of course you won`t stay a young girl much longer.

Caught you, you snotty-nosed ragamuffin!

Least said soonest mended.

Shall we play now?

Does he hurt you?

If there's a beast in men, it meets its match in women too.

I've brought you a little present.

They're the best of all roses, picked from the grave of a princess.

They say that priests' bastards often turn into wolves as they grow older!

Waste not, want not!

That's a horrid story! I didn't like it at all.

The Devil's one thing, but a priest making babies is another! I don't think our priest would have it in him.

You can't trust anyone, least of all a priest!

Well, what a silly game!

He only asked me to walk with him. What's wrong with that?

Don't stray from the path!

Why are you so crabby today?

I like you well enough.

Well why won't you kiss me?

You're afraid, aren't you?

That wasn't very good. Give me another!

Have to catch me first!

Wolf! Wolf!

Get your hands off him!

Don't you hit my boy!

I'll cool you off!

Where have you been? And in such a state!

This is all these beasts understand. Kill them before they kill you.

Clowns are what the village boys are!

When will Daddy have done with the killing?

A hard winter brings out the wolves.

We must hide in the trees!

Douse the lights! Into the trees! Quietly!

How can a wolf be worse than it already is?

Are you going to tell me a story?

No one would have suspected a thing.

A taste of what's to come!

So - I wasn't good enough for you. I was, once.

The wolves in the forest are more decent!

Where did you hear a story like that?

It's not a story, but God's honest truth!

But what pleasure could there be in that?

The pleasure would come from knowing the power that she had.

When I killed it it was a wolf, and it turned into a man.

Seeing is believing.

Get it out!

Whatever it is, now it's dead meat!

Maybe you shouldn't go.

Mind you don't stray - and take something to protect yourself with.

How about a knife?

You're not afraid of anything, are you?

You're a fearless child, I'll say that.

You won't be lucky twice.

Let me come with you - you'd be safe with me!

Go into the woods with you? After what happened last time?

Did I scare you? I am sorry.

At least you have your clothes on.

Lost your horse?

I know the very place up the way for a picnic!

Don't you know how strong that stuff is?

I don't believe it, even though I see it.

Aren't you afraid of the wolves?

Why should I be frightened of wolves?

You must know the worse wolves are hairy on the inside.

Old wives' tales! Peasant superstition!

Here - take my hat as a token of good will. Wear it, until we meet again.

Get you back to Hell from which you came!

What do you know about my kind?

Are you very much afraid?

It wouldn't do me much good to be afraid, would it?

What big eyes you have!

All the better to see you with.

They say seeing is believing, but I'd never swear to it.

You must be wet through. Why don't you take off your shawl?

Your kind can't stomach clothes either.

I love the company of wolves.

Poor creatures. It's freezing cold out there, no wonder they howl so.

You're a bold fearless girl, aren't you?

And now you must give me back my gun, my dear.

Are you our kind, or their kind?

My home is nowhere.

My, what big arms you have.

Will you be honorable and pay me, or not?

I never knew a wolf could cry.

You'll be all alone.

This is holy ground!

Can you speak?

Are you God's work, or the Devil's?

It will heal, in time.

No! Don't shoot!

As you're pretty, so be wise

Wolves may lurk in every guise

Sweetest tongue hides sharpest tooth.

#rp meme #rp starters #rp memes #roleplay memes #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #the company of wolves

16 notes · View notes

welllpthisishappening · 4 years

Text

Welllp These Are Books: the February 2021 Edition

Most of my last month was spent on deadline and waiting for people to respond to my emails, which meant I did not have the time (or energy) to write much of anything, but had plenty of time to read, quite frankly, an absurd number of books. Some of which were very good, some of which were very cheesy, and some of which I have now told multiple people was quite possibly the worst book I have ever read. As always, though, what are my opinions if I am not sharing them with the internet? Ridiculous headlines, links, and those aforementioned opinions under the cut. As always, part two, feel free to send me any and all recommendations. It cannot possibly be worse than this one book. Seriously, you’ll understand in a second.

———

Quite Possibly the First Book I’ve Gone Out of My Way to Buy On Release Day Since Breaking Dawn, Which Says a lot About Me. As a Person.

A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas

Nesta Archeron has always been prickly-proud, swift to anger, and slow to forgive. And ever since being forced into the Cauldron and becoming High Fae against her will, she's struggled to find a place for herself within the strange, deadly world she inhabits. Worse, she can't seem to move past the horrors of the war with Hybern and all she lost in it.

The one person who ignites her temper more than any other is Cassian, the battle-scarred warrior whose position in Rhysand and Feyre's Night Court keeps him constantly in Nesta's orbit. But her temper isn't the only thing Cassian ignites. The fire between them is undeniable, and only burns hotter as they are forced into close quarters with each other.

Meanwhile, the treacherous human queens who returned to the Continent during the last war have forged a dangerous new alliance, threatening the fragile peace that has settled over the realms. And the key to halting them might very well rely on Cassian and Nesta facing their haunting pasts.

Against the sweeping backdrop of a world seared by war and plagued with uncertainty, Nesta and Cassian battle monsters from within and without as they search for acceptance-and healing-in each other's arms.

I’m not kidding when I tell you that I was counting the days until this came out. I was kind of indifferent to Nesta after the original ACOTAR books, but intrigued enough that I was like, I need to read this, and then I did read this and now I care quite a lot about Nesta. And how in love with Cassian she is. And vice versa. Because, let’s be honest, dude is in l o v e. There were some parts of the story I was not super into — namely, Ferye having to die in childbirth. Like, you’re telling me Cassian could have his guts hanging out at one point and we don’t know how to do a c-section? Nah, that ain’t it. Also, pregnancy as a storyline is not always my favorite thing, but more on that in a second. Also, also, here’s a bunch more words about ACOSF.

A “Huh, So That Happened” Sort of Ending. Which Was Disappointing.

A Vow So Bold and Deadly by Brigid Kemmerer

Emberfall is crumbling fast, torn between those who believe Rhen is the rightful prince and those who are eager to begin a new era under Grey, the true heir. Grey has agreed to wait two months before attacking Emberfall, and in that time, Rhen has turned away from everyone--even Harper, as she desperately tries to help him find a path to peace.

Fight the battle, save the kingdom. Meanwhile, Lia Mara struggles to rule Syhl Shallow with a gentler hand than her mother. But after enjoying decades of peace once magic was driven out of their lands, some of her subjects are angry Lia Mara has an enchanted prince and a magical scraver by her side. As Grey's deadline draws nearer, Lia Mara questions if she can be the queen her country needs.

As the two kingdoms come closer to conflict, loyalties are tested, love is threatened, and an old enemy resurfaces who could destroy them all, in this stunning conclusion to bestselling author Brigid Kemmerer's Cursebreaker series.

I loved the first book in this series. Absolutely adored it. So much so that I pretty quickly got the second one and read it. Enjoyed that on its own, but like I said in that one ask, I’m fairly certain A Curse So Dark and Lonely could have very easily been a standalone story. Should have been a standalone story? There was just SO MUCH going on here, and not nearly enough of it was resolved. Plot points just hung by the end of the trilogy, I was not ever entirely convinced Rhen and Harper were actually in love, let alone liked each other, and I thought Rhen got the very short end of an exceptionally cracked stick by the time the whole story wrapped up. Really, I think this tried to do too much in not enough time and there should probably be another book. Also Lia Mara getting pregnant was dumb. There I said it.

Free Books On Amazon Unlimited That Were Better Than Expected, But Also Read Like Fic

The Bargainer Series by Laura Thalassa

Everyone knows that if you need a favor, you go to the Bargainer to make it happen. He’s a man who can get you anything you want … at a price. And everyone knows that sooner or later he always collects.

Callypso Lillis is a siren with a very big problem, one that stretches up her arm and far into her past. For the last seven years she’s been collecting a bracelet of black beads up her wrist, magical IOUs for favors she’s received. Only death or repayment will fulfill the obligations. Only then will the beads disappear.

But for one of his clients, he’s never asked for repayment. Not until now. When Callie finds the fae king of the night in her room, a grin on his lips and a twinkle in his eye, she knows things are about to change. At first it’s just a chaste kiss—a single bead’s worth—and a promise for more.

For the Bargainer, it’s more than just a matter of rekindling an old romance. Something is happening in the Otherworld. Fae warriors are going missing one by one. Only the women are returned, each in a glass casket, a child clutched to their breast. And then there are the whispers among the slaves, whispers of an evil that’s been awoken.

If the Bargainer has any hope to save his people, he’ll need the help of the siren he spurned long ago. Only, his foe has a taste for exotic creatures, and Callie just happens to be one.

No one is going to be able to convince me this wasn’t ACOTAR fan fic. I don’t care about timing or dates, or whatever. The similarities just...did not stop. In all three books, even. There were three books in this series, by the way. Most of which I really enjoyed. I read them all in like four days of email waiting, so they must have been doing something right. Des was a good love interest and I really liked the flashbacks in the first book. Also Callie didn’t super annoy me. That being said, whoever edited this book. Oof. Some of the prose was so goddamn cringe, I literally lol’ed. Right out loud. Every now and then it was like we had to be reminded that Des was a BAD GUY ™ but it felt very Edward “I’m a killer, Bella” Cullen, and Callie’s internal monologue was occasionally hysterical. Not in a good way. Also Temper was the worst. She was so annoying. Every time she talked, I was like, oh, her again. The first book was the best one.

HITTING ALL MY ROM COM BOXES! BASEBALL! ROMANCE! PINING! ONLY VAGUELY UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN THEY HAD SEX IN THE PORT JEFF DUGOUT BECAUSE I’VE BEEN IN THE PORT JEFF DUGOUT.

Fix Her Up by Tessa Bailey

Georgette Castle’s family runs the best home renovation business in town, but she picked balloons instead of blueprints and they haven’t taken her seriously since. Frankly, she’s over it. Georgie loves planning children’s birthday parties and making people laugh, just not at her own expense. She’s determined to fix herself up into a Woman of the World... whatever that means.

Phase one: new framework for her business (a website from this decade, perhaps?)

Phase two: a gut-reno on her wardrobe (fyi, leggings are pants.)

Phase three: updates to her exterior (do people still wax?)

Phase four: put herself on the market (and stop crushing on Travis Ford!)

Travis Ford was major league baseball’s hottest rookie when an injury ended his career. Now he’s flipping houses to keep busy and trying to forget his glory days. But he can’t even cross the street without someone recapping his greatest hits. Or making a joke about his… bat. And then there's Georgie, his best friend’s sister, who is not a kid anymore. When she proposes a wild scheme—that they pretend to date, to shock her family and help him land a new job—he agrees. What’s the harm? It’s not like it’s real. But the girl Travis used to tease is now a funny, full-of-life woman and there’s nothing fake about how much he wants her...

Living her best life means facing the truth: Georgie hasn’t been on a date since, well, ever. Nobody’s asking the town clown out for a night of hot sex, that’s for sure. Maybe if people think she’s having a steamy love affair, they’ll acknowledge she’s not just the “little sister” who paints faces for a living. And who better to help demolish that image than the resident sports star and tabloid favorite.

Legit, I saw the description for this and I was like—did I write this? Kind of. (Shameless plug to read my own rom com, it also has baseball and pining) It didn’t matter, I loved it. Seriously, it hit all my rom com boxes: childhood friends, best friend’s sister, coming back home under duress, FAKE DATING and, let’s be honest, I am not immune to the use of “baby girl” as an endearment. Every time Travis called Georgie “baby girl” I was like, oh, ok, this is cool. It was cool! I only have two quips. One, that the fake dating didn’t last a little longer. The pacing of the story felt very quick, but that’s also this genre’s style. So I kind of get it. And two, that it happened in Port Jefferson, which is a town in Suffolk County that I have not only been to, but have spent significant time in. Meaning I could picture every single thing, knew exactly where they were and have used the exit on the Northern State Parkway that the final moments of the book took place at. The Port Jeff girls basketball team won a Long Island championship last weekend. In real life, not the book.

In Which Spinoffs Continue to be my Kryptonite. Especially Well-Written Ones

Mistletoe and Mr. Right by Sarah Morgenthaler

Lana Montgomery is everything the quirky small town of Moose Springs, Alaska can't stand: a rich socialite with dreams of changing things for the better. But Lana's determined to prove that she belongs...even if it means trading her stilettos for snow boots and tracking one of the town's hairiest Christmas mysteries: the Santa Moose, an antlered Grinch hell-bent on destroying every bit of holiday cheer (and tinsel) it can sink its teeth into.

And really...how hard could it be?

The last few years have been tough on Rick Harding, and it's not getting any easier now that his dream girl's back in town. When Lana accidentally tranquilizes him instead of the Santa Moose, it's clear she needs help, fast...and this could be his chance to finally catch her eye. It's an all-out Christmas war, but if they can nab that darn moose before it destroys the town, Rick and Lana might finally find a place where they both belong...together.

I mentioned The Tourist Attraction in my January list, and this is the second in the Moose Springs trio. And it’s so good! I wish people were all as nice to Lana as Rick was. It’s what she deserved! More small-town antics, more kissing, another moose. This one was just as cute as the original book, especially because it brought back original characters and Zoey and Graham were so goddamn adorable as a committed couple I genuinely feared for the state of my teeth.

Enjoy the View by Sarah Morgenthaler

Former Hollywood darling River Lane's acting career is tanking fast. Determined to start fresh behind the camera, she agrees to film a documentary about the picturesque small town of Moose Springs, Alaska. The assignment should have been easy, but the quirky locals want nothing to do with River. Well, too bad: River's going to make this film and prove herself, no matter what it takes.

Or what (literal) mountain she has to climb.

Easton Lockett may be a gentle giant, but he knows a thing or two about survival. If he can keep everyone in line, he should be able to get River and her crew up and down Mount Veil in one piece. Turns out that's a big if. The wildlife's wilder than usual, the camera crew's determined to wander off a cliff, and the gorgeous actress is fearless. Falling for River only makes Easton's job tougher, but there's only so long he can hold out against her brilliant smile. When bad weather strikes, putting everyone at risk, it'll take all of Easton's skill to get them back home safely...and convince River she should stay in his arms for good.

Wrapping up the Moose Springs trio, this one might have been my least favorite, but that’s not really saying much. Since I loved them all pretty equally. River and Easton’s banter was grade-A, top-notch, which is a one-way ticket to my reading-heart. Maybe part of the problem (I say problem like there really was one) was that most of the story took place on a mountain. I kind of wanted more small-town shenanigans, and updates on the condos and the state of the town and Graham being mayor. Still, this was very cute. I swooned multiple times. I’ll probably read anything Sarah Morgenthaler writes from here on out.

Seriously, What Is YA? Does Anyone Know?

The Beautiful by Renee Ahdieh

In 1872, New Orleans is a city ruled by the dead. But to seventeen-year-old Celine Rousseau, New Orleans is a safe haven after she's forced to flee her life as a dressmaker in Paris. Taken in by the sisters of the Ursuline convent in the middle of the carnival season, Celine is quickly enraptured by the vibrant city, from its music to its fancy soirées and even its danger. She becomes embroiled in the city's glitzy underworld, known as La Cour des Lions, after catching the eye of the group's enigmatic leader, Sébastien Saint Germain.

When the body of one of the girls from the convent is found in Sébastien's own lair--the second dead girl to turn up in recent weeks--Celine battles her attraction to Sébastien and suspicions about his guilt along with the shame of her own horrible secret.

After a third murder, New Orleans becomes gripped by the terror of a serial killer on the loose--one who has now set Celine in his sights. As the murderer stalks her, Celine finally takes matters into her own hands, only to find herself caught in the midst of an age-old feud between the darkest creatures of the night, where the price of forbidden love is her life.

Like I said last month, I put a hold on pretty much everything Renee Ahdieh had written in my library. And this was just as good as the last series I read. Her world building is just—chef’s kiss, gorgeous. I dream of writing this airy, magical way, that makes you feel like you’re in New Orleans. That being said, I do not know what kid is reading this because apparently this is YA and I had to read every single word to figure out what was going on. Now, I know there are two more books in the series, but this one felt like a lot of set up and I spent most of it being like...will this make sense eventually? It did, but only during a very rushed climax of final few chapters. The sequel isn’t available on Kindle at the library, and I haven’t bought it yet. So, that’s probably kind of telling.

In Which You Cannot Always Depend On Old Favorites

No Judgments by Meg Cabot

When a massive hurricane severs all power and cell service to Little Bridge Island—as well as its connection to the mainland—twenty-five-year-old Bree Beckham isn’t worried . . . at first. She’s already escaped one storm—her emotionally abusive ex—so a hurricane seems like it will be a piece of cake.

But animal-loving Bree does become alarmed when she realizes how many islanders have been cut off from their beloved pets. Now it’s up to her to save as many of Little Bridge’s cats and dogs as she can . . . but to do so, she’s going to need help—help she has no choice but to accept from her boss’s sexy nephew, Drew Hartwell, the Mermaid Café’s most notorious heartbreaker.

But when Bree starts falling for Drew, just as Little Bridge’s power is restored and her penitent ex shows up, she has to ask herself if her island fling was only a result of the stormy weather, or if it could last during clear skies too.

I love Meg Cabot. That should be stated upfront and at the very beginning because for a very long time I have claimed that being Meg Cabot was my dream job. I’ve read pretty much every book Meg Cabot has ever written and was fairly certain I’d be into these once I did read them. Only I was...not. Not really. Everything in this book happened so quickly, I felt like I was the one in the hurricane. People were kissing and then they were having sex and there was a storm and pets and then—it was over? The pacing was all over the place, I had no idea why Drew and Bree liked each other, some guy kicked a dog at one point?? It was weird. Which leads us to—

No Offense by Meg Cabot

A broken engagement only gave Molly Montgomery additional incentive to follow her dream job from the Colorado Rockies to the Florida Keys. Now, as Little Bridge Island Public Library’s head of children’s services, Molly hopes the messiest thing in her life will be her sticky-note covered desk. But fate—in the form of a newborn left in the restroom—has other ideas. So does the sheriff who comes to investigate the “abandonment”. When John Hartwell folds all six-feet-three of himself into a tiny chair and insists that whoever left the baby is a criminal, Molly begs to differ and asks what he’s doing about the Island’s real crime wave (if thefts of items from homes that have been left unlocked could be called that). Not the best of starts, but the man’s arrogance is almost as distracting as his blue eyes. Almost…

John would be pretty irritated if one of his deputies had a desk as disorderly as Molly’s. Good thing she doesn’t work for him, considering how attracted he is to her. Molly’s lilting librarian voice makes even the saltiest remarks go down sweeter, which is bad as long as she’s a witness but might be good once the case is solved—provided he hasn’t gotten on her last nerve by then. Recently divorced, John has been having trouble adjusting to single life as well as single parenthood. But something in Molly’s beautiful smile gives John hope that his old life on Little Bridge might suddenly hold new promise—if only they can get over their differences.

This isn’t a sequel SEQUEL, but another one of those “exists in the same universe,” or same town, as it were, and it was better than No Judgments. Molly and John actually had a few legitimate conversations before they started kissing. The conflict was still weird and sort of forced, this was not Meg’s usual banter (I fell like I can call her Meg at this point, y’know?) and, again, the ending just felt like it...happened. I don’t know guys, maybe I should just reread The Boy Is Back. Or that quasi Persephone-Hades series. It’s been awhile. On that one, at least. I read The Boy Is Back like six months ago.

ABSOLUTELY INFURIATING ROM COM THAT I CANNOT BELIEVE I FINISHED, SOMEONE GIVE ME A PRIZE FOR FINISHING THIS

Fight or Flight by Samantha Young

The universe is conspiring against Ava Breevort. As if flying back to Phoenix to bury a childhood friend wasn't hell enough, a cloud of volcanic ash traveling from overseas delayed her flight back home to Boston. Her last ditch attempt to salvage the trip was thwarted by an arrogant Scotsman, Caleb Scott, who steals a first class seat out from under her. Then over the course of their journey home, their antagonism somehow lands them in bed for the steamiest layover Ava's ever had. And that's all it was--until Caleb shows up on her doorstep.

When pure chance pulls Ava back into Caleb's orbit, he proposes they enjoy their physical connection while he's stranded in Boston. Ava agrees, knowing her heart's in no danger since a) she barely likes Caleb and b) his existence in her life is temporary. Not long thereafter Ava realizes she's made a terrible error because as it turns out Caleb Scott isn't quite so unlikeable after all. When his stay in Boston becomes permanent, Ava must decide whether to fight her feelings for him or give into them. But even if she does decide to risk her heart on Caleb, there is no guarantee her stubborn Scot will want to risk his heart on her...

When I tell you guys that this was the worst book I have read in recent memory, I am not kidding. Might actually be the worst book I have ever read. Bar none. And that’s saying something because one time I had to read Ender’s Game in college and that, like, physically pained me. This was awful. Awful people. Awful plot. Awful resolution. AWFUL. Where to start? Well, I’m not going to apologize for spoilers, because God help us all, do not read this book. Ava has been through so many horrible things in her life it was like someone was trying to set a record. Bad parents, cheating ex-boyfriend, dead former best friend who was former because of the cheating ex-boyfriend. Naturally, this made her a control freak because—of course, or something. And Caleb! Oh my God, fucking Caleb Scott. The dickwad. I’ve never rooted for anyone to not get the girl more. When Ava “broke up” with him (they were never really together) I might have cheered. Shitty things does not give you an excuse to be a dick, and Caleb was a dick. Seriously, he started crying about how his ex-fiance KILLED THEIR BABY and I was like—this cannot possibly be a real book. It was! With lots of abortion opinions out of FUCKING nowhere, and weird possessive behavior from, like, every dude in it. Both Ava AND her best friend (not the dead one, a different one) got assaulted at one point. I kept reading solely because I was desperate to see how they rationalized Ava and Caleb getting back together at the end and they didn’t. He showed up on her flight when her boss came up with a fake work trip so he could sit next to her on the plane. What? WHAT?? It was so dumb. So bad. I can’t believe I read it.

#book recs #fiction rec #rom com recs #fantasy recs #laura reads books #i swear i do other things besides read #really #welllp these are books

13 notes · View notes

uservillanelle · 4 years

Text

Killing Eve ― 3x03 (Review)

Alriiight clowns, who’s ready for some 3x03 discussion? I don’t even remember how many times I’ve seen the episode already, but there are still some points I’d like to point out/talk about. So let’s get started!

Andalusia

As bad as it sounds, I enjoy seeing Villanelle do her job. It’s exactly where the show can show off some really incredible places in the world and of course explore different, creative ways of killing someone. However, this time in particular I don’t think it was realistic enough the way they did it. I mean, what kind of strength does Villanelle need to have in order to throw the tuning fork like that and instantly kill a person? You’d think it would take a lot more effort to have the tuning fork pierce human skull. No?

Anyways, another thing is the nanny that Villanelle also killed. I believe only the pianist was her target, since she appeared to be rather taken aback by hearing the baby’s cries through the baby monitor. She didn’t expect anyone else to be in the house. She could’ve easily left without anyone seeing her, but she didn’t. “You really like that baby, huh? It’s not even yours.” So this kind of explains why she killed the nanny, since the baby wasn’t hers? But then again... I think this scene was needed for her to be able to take the baby and eventually this thing would escalate into her need to find her family.

The Bathroom

Carolyn and Mo are analysing the circumstances of Kenny’s death. And what’s better way to do it than in a bathtub? Classic Carolyn. This reminds me of Villanelle’s “I have a thing for bathrooms, actually.” One of the recurring themes that the show expresses in such a natural way.

The fact that the head of MPS still claims that it was suicide despite the lack of note or motivation. Makes me wonder just how many more cases like these are marked as ‘suicide’ when in reality there’s a lot more to the story to uncover. KE is really into all this shady stuff, hm?

Eve is SO done with Carolyn this season. She deserves it though, after betraying Eve but it is just so satisfying for me, at least, to watch them interact with this new formed dynamic. It’s refreshing that Eve was in a way replaced by Mo, who now is basically Carolyn’s assistent and not Eve. She did make her point for not wanting to work for Carolyn anymore, so she found someone else, while Eve is still active and in the game, just in her own way. Gotta love independent Eve Polastri.

Meetings Have Biscuits

Eve is really taking charge this season, not gonna lie. She basically set up this whole meeting, invited Jamie (whose name I constantly keep forgetting) and even ordered everybody on what they should be doing since neither Carolyn nor Jamie showed the initiative to work with one another. “You can have a biscuit when you tell me what the point of you is.” GOLDEN LINE!! I don’t usually agree with Carolyn, but YES! I’m not really sure what is Jamie’s role here. You can have Bear, who already helped to solve the rubbik cube’s puzzle while Jamie did what, exactly? I have a bad feeling about him but I’m not going to say it just yet... in case I’m wrong and do I hope I am.

Young mother with baby and grandma

I absolutely ADORED this scene in all ways. We got to see Villanelle interact with an actual baby without her doing any harm to him! That’s a rare gem we might not get to see again, so let’s appreciate it! Not only that but we got to see A BABY interact with A BABY. Villanelle’s a literal child and I love her to pieces.

Ever since Villanelle found out that Eve’s alive she’s been back on her BS just like Dasha said and apparently it’s been DAYS. “What got into you?” So.. Dasha doesn’t know that Villanelle knows about Eve. Meaning Dasha is not communicating with Konstantin and probably doesn’t know about Eve. Then again, last episode she and Villanelle did have a talk about how she can’t go down the same road again. So is Dasha pretending not to know what’s going on or she truly isn’t aware?

Villanelle gets her next postcard. It’s London. She freaks out and we all know exactly why. Yeah, it’s like, WE also should be freaking out about it because Villanelle will be going to London in episode 3. Eve and Villanelle usually got her first reunion in episode 5 in previous seasons. So it does feel too soon and that’s exactly what Villanelle says next. “I’m not ready! How about that?” Of course she needs to prepare first. She’s extra like that. Not only she says it but she is actually nervous and her body language is TOO loud about it.

This brings me to my next point... Dasha sees just how much of a mess Villanelle is and proceeds to “encourage” her once she hears that she’s not ready. “All you need is anorak and a face like cheese”. Okay, hear me out. Last episode Dasha and Villanelle were having a conversation about Felix and how Villanelle will have to “guide” him, encourage him and make him believe that he “can be good”. This is exactly what she’s doing with Villanelle now, or am I seeing things? Last time Villanelle picked up on that, this time she doesn’t because she’s too invested in thinking about Eve and preparation. Then she agrees with Dasha and we see her give this sort of satisfying look which only indicates just how twisted she is. I mean she can’t be that stupid to not realize why Villanelle is the way she is... and STILL encourage her to go to London. Like.. I’m sure The Twelve has many more assassins up their sleeve so why not send someone else to London instead? No. It has to be Villanelle for the show’s sake. It has to be Villanelle because EVE is there and the idea of the Twelve possibly wanting to recruit Eve keeps appealing to me more and more... this might not be the case at all but why would both sides keep setting Eve and Villanelle up even after they seemed to be “over” one another?

On a lighter note, Dasha placing the baby in the trash bin is the most hilarious thing I’ve seen. INCLUDING Villanelle’s reaction. Sooo damn good, but it didn’t seem like anyone saw Dasha do it at first. It’s only later when someone heard the baby crying, people showed up. This show man.. there’s nothing else like KE in television and it’s a fact.

Eve

Let me just start with “But before I go on, you have to understand that once I tell you about them, your lives are in danger.” “Then don’t tell us.” “They’re called The Twelve.” Eve’s really not giving a shit about anything as it seems LMAO! I mean, at least she gave them a warning beforehand? This is yet another recurring trait of Eve’s. She doesn’t care about other’s needs except her own. It happened plenty of times back in S2 and it happened in this season. For example when she called Kenny and asked about the drinks and as soon as she got the answer she needed from him, she hung up not giving a chance for Kenny to say anything. Then now, and the way she treated Mo once she asked if he could trace the Geneva account for them. This reminds me of a scene in S2 where Eve basically ordered Kenny to help her find Villanelle by saying “you work for me.” This is exactly what she’s doing with Mo now. “Did you take this job thinking it would be easier? If you did. quit now. Cause it’s only getting tougher.” This is her own way of manipulation and getting what SHE wants. She even did it with Villanelle back in 2x05 when she asked for her help while interrogating the ghost. She did it and basically had to ASK Eve for a ‘thank you’ which wasn’t even genuine from Eve’s part. It’s not the best thing to have or do... yet I’m not sure if Eve is even aware of what she’s doing or when she does it. Hopefully it won’t cause major trouble further into the story. Hopefully.

The time has finally come. Eve is finally beginning to realize and hopefully accept her feelings for Villanelle. I’m not saying she was in denial before, but more like avoiding the topic in general. Until this episode. I mean the sexual tension between her and Villanelle whenever they meet and especially in this episode was WAY too strong for her to handle and she went for it. She went for the kiss which, can mean a million things, like Sandra mentioned in one recent interview. It can mean she went for it to catch Villanelle off guard, it can mean that she simply gave into the temptation... and accepted the fact that yes, she IS attracted to the assassin and this way unlocked this very personal character journey we are about to see. After meeting Villanelle she still went to the office and all she said was “I don’t want to talk about it.” Clearly it all was too much for her, as it was FOR US, so it’s understandable. But when she came back home and got instantly paranoid, thinking Villanelle was there just got me thinking of just how big of an effect does Villanelle have on Eve. She definitely caught Villanelle’s strong scent there... and then the recording. Sure, she was scared and angry and at first turned it off ASAP. But something changed soon afterwards... something that made her turn the recording back on and bring it to her ear... and close her eyes while taking in Villanelle’s voice. She IS admitting and she DOES wish Villanelle was there. This was a moment where she had time to process everything on her own without anyone else around her. She needed this... and the reveal is just so delicious. I’m sure we all know how the episode really ended, huh?

Now that the reunion happened and Eve found out that Niko apparently discharged himself from the fascility and moved back to Poland, I’m very intrigued to see just how much will Eve and Niko’s dynamic change. Will she still try to get Niko to come back? Try to convince him that there is still a chance for the two of them? Or is she only going to visit him to tie the loose ends and be done with the guy? I do think that the kiss and the meeting itself changed things for her so I cannot wait to see just how her and Niko’s relationship will escalate/end. Niko, on the other hand, is still pretty much UNSTABLE and he’ll cause trouble. I’m telling right now. This is no good so I hope Eve will leave him as soon as she comes and be done with him since she DOES deserve better than him, too.

The Accountant

First, I’m actually glad Suzanne decided to dive deeper into the core of The Twelve. Last season we didn’t really get enough of information about them and this one seems to be way more focused on it. Meaning the story is moving forward. And by story I mean the actual plot.

Sergei Korchmarev. AKA Charles Kruger. As far as I understood he was the one to stole 6 million euros from the Twelve WHILE working for them? He did that and then asked Konstantin to get him the money to “buy him some time” to find the “scoundrel”. So 6 million wasn’t enough for him, hm? Why do I have a feeling he’s been stealing the money for something bigger than his own greed? It has to be for something “bigger” but then again, guess we won’t be able to find out as Villanelle blew his brains out.

Again, both Konstantin and Carolyn knew him so that makes me even more suspicious. They seem to be working on different sides now but who knows really? This whole thing just keeps me on my toes, as it should but I want to know a bit more of this whole situation. We are left in the dark and we’ve been there for the past two seasons.

Villanelle

Villanelle in the perfume shop is the definition of a drama queen. Period. The way she described the custom scent she’d like was so captivating and telling. Like, she knew exactly what she wanted and that’s power. Smelling like Roman centurion means smelling like power. “I want to make people gag with it.” It has to be THAT strong, she wants people to know just how much strength she’s carrying, but most importantly Eve. “Well, we have some lovely floral fragrances for ladies over here.” “Maybe I should describe to you what I’m thinking.” OF COURSE he had to suggest some “lovely floral fragnance for LADIES” which is the complete opposite of what Villanelle describes next. So the overly too big suit that she chose to dress to meet Eve should have that very scent sshe was talking about. After all, she does see herself as a warrior.

I wonder if them throwing a baby in this episode is the only reason for Villanelle to have this need to find her family. Sure, Konstantin hinted last season that some members of her family are still alive and right now he doesn’t seem too keen on helping Villanelle find them. Though, knowing that she will be going to Russia in 3x05 means that Konstantin, or someone else, will find out about the location of her family memebers in next episode. It should really be interesting because we haven’t seen Villanelle interact with ANY family members before. Plus... I have a feeling they will force for OKSANA to come to the surface yet again and I am here for it.

I can’t help but point out, yet again, that after receiving the postcard, Villanelle went to London to buy perfume in preparation for the reunion with Eve, then went to the toy’s shop where she bought a talking bear and a very adorable bear shirt for herself and THEN went to meet Eve. Only afterwards all that she actually went after her target, which should be the main reason why she was in London in the first place. Love comes first for Villanelle. Job after. That’s ironic, because the previous two seasons everything was about JOB for Eve. She let her marriage fall into pieces but she didn’t stop working and obsessing over Villanelle.

Can we just appreciate Villanelle in police officer’s uniform? I mean... she can kill whoever the hell she wants if she will be wearing that. Almost makes me want to be arrested by a cop lmao!!

The bus scene

It’s been over 4 days since the episode came out and I STILL cannot believe we got a villaneve reunion AND A KISS!! Like... I was worried the scene would be too random and I didn’t want that. It was random. That’s why it was so surprising for all of us, because we couldn’t expect them to meet so soon and on a bus. There were no indications we will see them meet and that worked really well.

At the same time I feel like if we cut out the bus scene from the episode, the main plot wouldn’t be affected. This scene could easily be replaced with another one while this one could be thrown in next episode or have them meet in second episode if they found out about each other during the premiere. That’s why I don’t like that aspect... I wish the scene was there because it was NEEDED to be in that episode at that time, you know? It’s only about the placement. I wonder why they decided to include it in this particular episode.

Other than that the scene itself was PERFECT!! I made a separate in depth post/anaylsis of the scene HERE in case you haven’t read it yet!

Carolyn

I’m soo glad that we’re finally seeing more of Carolyn investigating things openly for us, viewers. The previous two seasons we barely saw anything she did because she was THAT private and had so many secrets we could only wonder what the hell she’s thinking or doing. Now, though... we can see she’s working on Kenny’s case and is actually trying to solve this mystery surrounding his death. That includes her setting up the meeting with one of her former lovers, Henrik, to find out about the Geneva account.

Now, I was soo sure Villanelle would go after her so I kind of was prepared to lose Carolyn or have her escape somehow. None of that happened, though they did make us worry for a minute or two during which Carolyn wasn’t moving and had blood/bruises on one side of her head. Again, Villanelle is THAT extra to go through the trouble to nearly shoot Carolyn only to get to the accountant. And we actually got to see Carolyn fearing for her life despite having met Villanelle several times. She knew what Villanelle was capable of so the aftermath of this helped us see that she indeed had feelings but often decided to ignore/avoid them and this way stay in denial. “I’m fine” says a woman who looks like a mess and is shaking at the same time. It’s okay to admit things, Carolyn.

Overall Thoughts

The first two episodes were there to set the entire plot up, including Eve and Villanelle find out about one another and now that they know... shit’s going down and this episode was definitely the strongest one this season so far. This is very promising since the episode was written by Laura Neal, who will be the showrunner for S4!

We got to see plenty of action, funny moments, AT LEAST 6 different Villanelle outfits and we got a moment with her and actual baby. PLUS VILLANEVE KISS!! What else could we want?!

As always, if any of you guys have any predictions/thoughts on previous or future episodes don’t hesitate to ask/message me about them so we could chat and discuss our favorite show together! Thank you guys for reading and see during the review for 3x04 next week!!!

#ke spoilers #killing eve #villanelle #jodie comer #sandra oh #villaneve #eve polastri #ke review*#ke*#ke 3x03 review #ke s3 #ke 3x03 #the kiss™#villaneve is canon bitches #creation

98 notes · View notes