#i am Scared
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bpd is being TERRIFIED of being forgotten but also wishing people couldn’t perceive you. so weird
#actually borderline#actually bpd#being borderline#borderline blog#borderline culture is#borderline pd#borderline thoughts#borderline vent#bpd#bpd blog#mentally unstable#actually mentally ill#borderline problems#borderline life#quiet borderline#living with borderline#borderline personality disorder#borderline#bpd vent#bpd thoughts#bpd culture is#bpd shit#bpd relatable#abandoment issues#attachment issues#i am scared#mental illness#im going insane#bpd mood#bpd problems
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More Magic and Mystery lets gooooo
#back on my bullshit#i cant get the beast! theory out of my head#i am SCARED#it would be so sad omg#praying for some comfort for our boy#magic and mystery#coil#m&m dazai#dazai osamu#dazai#fanfic#fanfic au#that-one-raccoon’s art#my art#cw eyestrain#slightly#EDIT: my dumb of assery didn't realize you couldn't see dazai at the bottom so i fixed it
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more scared of getting old than dying young
#venting#actually mentally ill#i hate it here#die#mentally fucked#i am scared#im dying#dying inside#dying young#feelings#alone with my thoughts#too fucking much#deppresing thoughts#kinda depressing#tw depressing thoughts#depressing shit
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rtd i am begging
#doctor who#donna noble#tennant doctor#i would say rtd do not blow this for us but honestly i AM begging#see yall on sunday (when i can watch the giggle)#i am scared
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I'm writing this scared and upset, because I am hoping someone could help me see things more clearly. A nightmare scenario has happened. I received a call, from a person I don't know well, but who has my name and my number, and lives nearby. This person described to me, that there were people on her doorstep, looking for someone with my name and description. My fake name that I use so I wouldn't be found.
This person swears they didn't tell on me, but I am unsure. The story of the people looking for me were 'we are the parents of x, we haven't seen them in 8 years, we just all want to see them, their siblings miss them'. I admitted that it probably was my parents, and I explained why they were looking for me, and asked to be kept a secret from them, as I was sure they would try to drag me back to a life of violence, and I barely escaped. The person calling asked me if I was lying! And then offered to call my parents and tell them I no longer live in the city. I panicked and said no, because if my parents knew this person has my contact, they would be harassing them endlessly until they got my location. The person calling just laughed, not taking it so seriously, and I begged them to just pretend they don't know me.
The location they were looking for me, is not that far from where I live! I am now too scared to go outside. If they ask anyone closer to where I live, people here know my fake name, they'll tell them! Neighbours and people I introduced myself to, they don't know my story, or that they shouldn't betray my location, I felt it safer to be kept a complete secret.
I don't know what to do. I don't have enough money to move right now, or the resources. I am scared to go outside. This is completely insane, they're walking around in the city asking door to door, for my location, under pretense they're just so worried and aching to see me! My mind is going insane from one scenario to the next, if they find my location I can't stay, I'll die. I am thinking about how to get to work tomorrow unrecognizable, I'm working on changing my appearance as much as possible. My life has come to a halt. I can't think about anything but impending confrontation that will decide whether I get to live the rest of my life or not.
It's literally a matter of luck whether I'm found or not. If they stumble on someone dumb enough to point them in my direction, I'm done for. If they search for a while and find nobody willing to point them anywhere, they'll maybe give up. I already called one person on the block and asked them to not betray me, but I don't have numbers for most of the people, and it's terrifying.
Also, I told one of my roommates my situation, because they heard me on the phone, and first they looked down on me for thinking this is an actual threat, but when I explained how serious it was, they started complaining how this is stupid and they now feel uncomfortable living with me if there's people who might come in and cause violence or disturbance. Which hit me like 'now that you're associated with dangerous people you're a burden on society, you shouldn't drag us innocent people into your mess' like this is my fault. Made me feel worse. Roommate is not on my side.
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drew this in-between anxiously checking the polls to see if i will have rights by this time next year.
i know there will be so many more people more disenfranchised by the laws imposed on our lives and on our bodies if trump is voted into office, but i'm still scared. i will be 18 next year and i may not get to transition into the man i have waited for over a decade to be, and i am scared.
but it doesn't mean i wont fight. it doesn't mean i won't continue to be loudly queer and it doesn't mean that i won't find a way to be me and fight for my rights. if trump makes it illegal to get trans healthcare safely, i will do it myself, and i will fight for others to do it themselves, too.
#sorry for potential incoherence i'm posting this at 4 am after a breakdown and a full 24 hrs of worrying over this shit#i am not even an adult yet and i have to worry about whether i will even be treated like one when i am.#i am tired#i am scared#please fight#youre not alone#harv's art#trans artist#trans community#trans man#trans rights#election 2024#harris walz 2024#digital art#digital painting#digital aritst#i don't think this will see the people i want it to#but i can try#trans#transgender#transmasc#trans pride#transfem#trans women#trans woman#nonbinary#genderqueer#genderfluid#agender#bigender
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this is a threat
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Heyyy, here's the thing, I've got an idea for a fanfic that I'm absolutely dying to write.
It's a fanfic where Regulus has no magic and, when he doesn't receive the letter from Hogwarts that was his last hope, his parents, being the example of parenthood that they are, decide to abandon him in front of a Muggle orphanage.
When he realizes that no one will come for him, not even Sirius, he begins his plan of revenge against his entire family. And the witch world.
There will be Jegulus (I don't know if it's game over or not), Wolfstar (I don't know if it's game over either) (come on, there's always the possibility that they'll all die) (and you know it).
I think it's going to be mostly angst, but with a bit of comfort. I think.
The name of the fanfic will be "Watercolor" and my name on ao3 is BlueStarLost.
That's it, I hope you like it!
#fanfic#harry potter#marauders#marauders era#regulus black#sirius black#james potter#remus lupin#jegulus#wolfstar#lily evans#pandora lovegood#writing#fanfic writing#i am scared#thats it
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can I play Link in the upcoming live-action movie please
I'm 5'5", strong and athletic, and I can yell "HYAAAH" for days
c'mon it'll be great I promise
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So that using Price as leverage idea against Nik.
Would Nik’s captors also kidnap Price or simply just threaten to do so?
Would they keep Price somewhere separate so Nik couldn’t speak to him or would they just threaten to shoot Price in front of him?
When would Nik crack?
ooh it could go in a lot of ways and they're all so good i can't choose 😵💫
But, if you want Nikolai to break, let's go with both of them being captured. It's Nik they want, it's information that only he has. (C'mon, with the things that guy has been through, I'm sure SOMEONE out there wants this man dead/captured lol) So the only way to get to him is by Captain Price.
I think if they simply just "threatened" to harm Price while he's not there, Nikolai wouldn't budge. Its nothing new, he sees through their bluff, he knows by the time they get to John, John and the boys would already be alert. (seeing as Nikolai is missing)
Now, where to keep Price. I feel like it wouldn't be their first time dealing with something like this (being captured), and they both trust the others ability to make it out of there soon. That is, considering they're separate. Because John's also tough to crack, he wouldn't make it easy on them.
But put a bloody and bruised John Price in front of Nikolai, and that's when shit gets serious. This man has endured all sorts of torture before, but this is by far the worst. The one thing he values the most in this world, right there in front of him, being threatened.
Price knows this, he can't do anything about it but beg Nikolai not to say anything. There is too much on the line, too risky. He doesn't care what happens to him so long as the captors don't win. Maybe he can't speak, maybe he can, but he's still begging Nikolai not to say a word.
Nikolai on the other hand lost all rational thinking the moment they brought Price into the room. He can't think straight, his head is ringing, heart pounding. It breaks Prices heart to see the man in such a state. He's bruised up also, but the sheer look of terror on his face when Price enters the room is something he'll never forget. Nikolai is seething. How dare they take something so beautiful and ruin it. Nobody touches the Captain.
If he was by himself, he'd already be on his way home. But now he's got nothing. No escape plans, no tricks up his sleeve. There is Price's life on the line and his only hope is the 141 finding them soon. He doesn't doubt they're searching, he just prays they make it quick.
So.. he'd maybe resist at first. Coming back with smart replies, trying to negotiate. Eyes flickering between the men and Price, who's currently on the floor, blood dripping from his head. Trying to stall, just enough to not let anything out before the boys arrive. But each passing minute his hope wears thin, with each blow Price takes his heart stops. He can't do anything but watch. And when exactly does he break? The moment the muzzle touches Prices head, the world stops spinning.
For the first time since he arrived there, his tough guy act drops, his voice cracks as he shouts, "Wait... Please." Theres a click from the gun.
Price barely looks up at him, trying to stay focused and not pass out, voice hoarse as he whispers; "Nik.. Don't."
Nikolai's reasoning is long gone, he just begs them. "I'll tell you. I will! Just.. put the gun down."
Nikolai's tears stained face and horrified expression is the last thing Price sees before a gun hits the back of his head and knocks him out cold.
#is this? anything??? idk i justwent with what came to my head#sorry#does it make sense#should i kms#anywayJEHSKEJSJFJ#yeah. i just think that Price is his entire world#and Nikolai is only a man. he can't let it happen#no?#yeah#nikprice#cod nikolai#answered#thank you anon! i hope this answers your question. if it doesnt- feel free to beat me up#i am scared
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uh oh
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i was trying to find rosekiller fics (I am desperate for fic recs btw) and i found barty x voldemort and regulus x hermione????????????? what is happening in this fandom wtf 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
#i am scared#wtf is going on#marauders era#marauders#dead gay wizards#fanfic#nico’s shitty thoughts#rosekiller
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tim fearon does it again ladies and gentleman
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I grew up in a scary world
but I was never scared
the haunted houses in which we lived
the people who may hurt me
the screaming of family
the people who leave me
me almost dying
heights...spiders.. roaches...bugs..bees
all those things and more scary things
but I got over it in a few seconds
but you
you scare me everyday
I'm scared you will drift away
I'm scared you will stop talking to me
I'm scared you will go away one day
I'm terrified of you
that we will never even get the chance
to talk to you outside of the screen
N.B.
🌻
#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#spilled words#spilled writing#spilled poetry#sunflower#my poetry#poemblr#poems and poetry#original poem#orginal writing#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writers and poets#poems on tumblr#poets on tumblr#poetblr#i am scared#where are you#don't leave me#dying inside#the tortured poets department#scary#haunted#my writing#writers#writing#a blog for the heartbroken#i need you#mentally exhausted
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HIGHLY UNORTHODOX WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
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Man, I’m going to be out when the new episode drops… and I don’t know when I’ll be able to sit and watch it..
I sure hope nothing bad happens! And that it’s a completely normal and fun episode!
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