#i am ROLLING

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

You go right ahead and use that bag of dicks. Bags of dicks all around for miserable wastes of space, fictional and real life cunts.

Bless you, anon. I am laughing so hard that I’m shedding tears.

[elitefourkylewantstobattle]

Nothing could've prepared me for this popping up at the start of an adult film.

[devourcr]

i'm being pretty concise with my ask responses rn. just to get some answers out. i do like to make my initial responses to asks relatively concise just in case it's not a vibe for the other person.

and also, it's a lot easier for me to get shit rolling.

[nanamis-bigtie]

guys do not ever eat spinach lasagne it's too powerful and will make you dead with full and lazy

[gromitcore]

just found the most incredible review for of mice and men

[antvnger]

*Scott and Ant-Mun both read this*

Who are they talking to, you or me?

((*snorts* I don’t know, but if they’re talking to me, I can see why.

Why?

((Both of you exceed great himbo energy.

((It’s a compliment! I mean it as a compliment!

((Anyway, Anon, I laughed very hard at this, thank you. It is quite tempting, but I have a lot to juggle right now, and I’d have to watch Barbie a few more times to get the feel if I decided to do it.

But I’ll be honest, “I’m Just Ken” has been playing in my head all day, and tbh that’s a jam.))

[faithfulcat111]

"Upon reading Thomas Malory's 1485 classic Le Morte d'Artur in what I believe is approximately the original Middle English with some adjustments for spelling, I discovered Arthurian legend is a veritable gold mine of literary drama! But, like a gold mine, it's 99% dirt and rocks, which is why, despite my briming, unbridled enthusiasm, no one gives a shit about King Arthur." - Jack Rackam

[thecrimsonhelmet]

@dramatisperscnae

Things Dick and Jason have done to each others apartments over the years

Jason likes to hack into Dicks security system once every few months to “keep him on his toes”

Dick rescued a hamster and kept it in Jason’s apartment because it was closer and felt like the hamster would be better fed (Jason hated it at first but now will kill anyone that touches him)

Jason dyed all of dicks sheets red after he got blood on a pair and it wouldn’t wash off so his brother wouldn’t find out

Dick threatens to disclose the location of Jason’s apartment to the rest of their siblings at least once a month and in retaliation Jason steals his throw pillows

Jason sometimes leaves leftovers or ingredients for meals in dicks fridge when his fridge runs out of space

Dick likes to buy Jason gifts or souvenirs and then hides them in the apartment randomly and waits for a text whenever Jason discovers what he’s done

Jason has an emergency weapons stash hidden in dicks apartment that dick pretends to not know about

They both can and will stress clean the others place if they’re badly injured to help them out

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

How Bill was defeated and captured by Ford in my Gf AU! He basically just tricked Bill into accepting a deal that trapped him within Ford's mind and under his control :]

He may have gotten a little out of hand though....

>:)

Next post :]

[shotmrmiller]

getting shot down by ghost without even asking him out or anything because he'd heard from one scottish bird that your type of guy was exactly like him and thinking back on it now, all the qualities you'd listed for your dream man do sound like as if you were describing him. yikes.

you don't take his rejection to heart, even though it does lightly sting but before you get a chance to explain that said scottish bird is an idiot and very mistaken in his assumption, ghost is telling you that it'd never work, you'd only get hurt and that you do take to heart because what does that mean, exactly? does he think you some dewy eyed farm girl looking for love? that you can't have casual sex with someone without eventually wanting for more?

"tha' ain't wha' i said. you'd get hurt, i mean look at ya." what about you? it's not like you'd let any of what happens behind closed doors affect your performance or anything, you and kyle always keep things professional while in the field.

also, is he aware that he doesn't have to have a reason to not want to sleep with you, or anyone else for that matter?

"you're small," he states, as if fact.

small? small where? your irritation dissipates, shoulders bleeding tension as genuine worry begins to set in. his vision might actually be going bad. could it be the black paint he wears under his mask? is it even safe to use on the face let alone near the eyes? did he read the instructions?

but then you realize he's looking at your legs, or specifically, what's between them and things click, and now you're wondering how someone so bloody brilliant could be this fucking stupid.

"while i appreciate your concern, lieutenant," you pointedly snap, "that's not even- i'd be just fine." he's a big guy, for sure. massive, if being honest. his neck alone is easily bigger than both your hands and you've caught him once or twice having to duck his head to enter the debriefing room but him being so endowed that it poses a threat to you is idiotic at best.

he hums, long and low in his throat, as he peers down at you through heavy lidded eyes, and raises his right shoulder in a shrug. "as you like," and that's the one and only warning you got.

simon had given you as much foreplay as needed, had lapped at your pussy until you forgot what day of the week it was, curled and scissored his fingers until his bedsheets were sodden and it still hadn't been enough. he'd only fit about a fourth of it in before he took pity on you and fucked your thighs instead until he got close, pushing his ruddy tip back into your aching cunt because "spillin' outside is a waste," and sent you on your merry way.

you're no quitter though and after some shopping online, your saving grace (dilators) will be here in a week.

(now to find soap and rip the rest of his hair right out his scalp for wagging his tongue.)

[venom-bitez]

I love (despise) Art‼️

[thehappyfeminist-22]

^ BEST OFMD POST I'VE EVER READ ^

we don't talk enough about the saddest part of izzy's death, which is stede standing there on deck watching ed break down and realizing his plans to have good sex for the second time in his life are going to have to be delayed by at least 48 hours over this

[egophiliac]

was this anyone else's first thought, or

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

...Turns out gay sex actually was the solution.

(This is basically a redraw, come read the real deal over at Tiger Tiger)

[jhonskii]

GET YO MANGY ASS ON

IT IS DONE

[literallygwenandjinx]

my favorite part of arcane season 2 was when ekko and jinx got married and raised isha and ruled over zaun together. truly an amazing ending wouldn't change a thing haha