#i am BORED but its fine
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i love being sick. ive been taking my cold meds by putting the little 20mL medicine cup in a line of shotglasses with cranberry juice in them. its like enrichment in my enclosure. bc otherwise i will think about how miserable i am being sick rn and probably die about it idk
#i am BORED but its fine#tried working on stuff earlier but i cant focus on anything productive for long so im feeling. stuck#i have already done retail therapy about it (and spent more money than i probably shouldve.)#(but! not as much as i COULDVE. so im gonna be glad for that at least lmfao)#video games are next ig but im too antsy to sit my ass down just yet. been pacing for like 20 minutes hdlsgk#tried doing some ~☆°yoga stretches°☆~ a minute ago but.#that just was a Very Fast Reminder that it was having covid last time that kicked my joint pain kicked into high gear so i. gave that up rq#was gonna make art but HOOBOY my hands are NOT cooperatingtoday#shaky and achey as fucc#so uhh. yeag#clearly ''coping mechanism'' is my middle name lmfao#anyways#bee speaks#covid round 2 is kicking my fucking ass but. ill be fineee✨️ im just losing my mind a little bit nbd lmao
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"you said you like me. are you sure about that?"
#the trainee the series#the trainee series#the trainee ep11#janeryan#jane x ryan#offgun#off jumpol#gun atthaphan#gmmtv#thai bl#bl drama#i have to say i am immensely annoyed by this show atp lol#BUTTTT#this was cute :(#what a shame though because it was heading into a good direction but then the writers got bored and everything became repetitive#also the whole judybahmee bait? i will never forgive them for that lmao rip#like okay if its not meant to be fine#but then dont?? bait it????#im so pissed#at everything#djkhfd#but anyway at least these 2 finally got their shit together i guess#sigh
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i actually like hate people who refuse to watch animated movies just because theyre animated. im so sorry your taste in movies sucks.
#like people like that are so fucking pretentious to me#“im an adult i dont watch cartoons” bro you fucking suck and dont know how to have fun#its ART. PEOPLE LIKE ART. PEOPLE ENJOY ART.#WHY DO PEOPLE HATE ANIMATED STUFF SO MUCH????? I DONT UNDERSTAND#PEOPLE SPENT HOURS ANIMATING THAT SHIT#HOURS UPON HOURS#LIKE GOD DAMN I AM SO SORRY YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND AND APPRECIATE ANIMATION#IDK HOW PEOPLE DISLIKE ANIMATION#WHY#IF YOU DONT LIKE A CERTAIN STYLE THATS FINE. I DONT LIKE CERTAIN ANIMATION STYLES#I DONT FIND THEM THAT APPEALING AND STUFF#BUT LIKE#NOT ALL ANIMATION IS THE SAME? THERES SO MANY DIFFERENT STYLES#LIKE IDK PEOPLE JUST PISS ME OFF WITH THIS#SO MUCH#ID LOVE TO WATCH SOME OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES WITH MY FAMILY BUT THEY REFUSE AND THINK MY MOVIE CHOICES ARE BORING CUZ THEYRE ANIMATED.#MOTHERFUCKER THE SPIDERVERSE MOVIES HAVE MORE DEPTH AND MATURE THEMES THAN YOUR STUPID FUCK ASS “ADULT” LIVE ACTION MOVIES#STFU#sorry#had a moment here
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can the mtt commit more crimes that just murder please i know theyre the MURDER time trio but ppppleasse,,,, please,,,,,,
they'd be terrible to be next to on the highway. horror's going 160 mph amd has long past gone over the speed limit. dust's out for BLOOD and by blood i mean your tires. he's somehow sniping those round rubber wheels from the high moving vehicle with the precision of a master fruit ninja player. if your car explodes or flips over in the process that's not his fault. and then to make matters worse for everyone on the highway killer's in the backseat scratching up the doors and windows of your car with a knife everytime horror gets close to another car and oops he accidentally just disfigured your face also did i mention theyre all drunk during this
ok so theyve all got the classic face WHY DONT THEY ABUSE IT!!!! horror gets to do a little paper mache to cover up his head hole and then wearing glasses. killer i dont know what the FUCK he can do to get rid of his perpetual tears but let's just pretend that theyre conveniently gone for now. and then all dust has to do is put down his hood! anyways identity theft is cool. imagine how much they could totally fuck up classic's reputation with this. set up fake tinder profiles and then scam people for their credit card info/free dates (while ordering every expensive thing) and stealing wallets. walking into various grillby's's around the multiverse and telling terrible jokes. like ACTUALLY bad jokes. and then of course just being a huge piece of shit at the bar. god theres so many things they could do pretending to be classic. which one of us is hikaru looking ahh except the only difference between the three is the color of the stains on their clothes (either gray (dust) black (killer) or red. well faded red (horror))
ROBBERY!!!! ROBBERIES PLURAL!!!??? train robbery gas station robbery bank robbery GOVERNMENT robbery (what would you rob the government for?? documents??? idk) anyways. mtt robbing a train except its just a really shitty plan and they dont know jackshit about what theyre doing. killer's taken over the conductor's cabin and now he is booking it. how fast are trains allowed to go idk but the maximum. anyways meanwhile horror's on the tracks fucking up the rails with his strength or whatever (listen i know he's weak but picking and choosing what hcs i believe in is my art) and dust is there to teleport him away before the train crashes into him and turns him into a trolley problem victim. and then of course that shit doesnt fucking work and the train just ends up flipping over and catching on fire or something (killer survives because of course he does he's killer). and then in the end dust just has to flip the entire train over and they just stroll into the part that actually HAS the money
and then they go out and get ice cream. sometimes the murderers need to take a break from murdering and just do NORMAL crime yk???
#dragging this absolutely ancient draft out of the trenches because i've been having a scene in my head that fits this#i mean not REALLY related to this since its not a crime. more like him reckless abandon of life! their own lives! yeah they die#imagining.... trio driving around in the mountains. dust's driving ans horror's in the passenger and killer's in the back seat because he i#and dust just starts speeding up like...... much more than he really should be in the fucking mountains#and killer points it out and now all of a sudden horror is absolutely terrified LMAOOOO trying to get dust to slow down#and then they crash. but if there's no one more determined in the world killer can always load a save and theyre alive again#and dust is STILL speeding when they come back even with the knowledge that they die and horror's still terrified#but dust just tells him to calm down and loosen up a little bit!!! theyll come back afterwards anyways and they dont even die in pain#and after a few more deaths horrors just like. ugh. fine. you know what FINE ILL GO ALONG WITH IT#he says as he starts laughing along with dust because man!! the feeling of looking out at nature right before they die in a blaze of glory#is GREAT!!!! and then you know something something horrordust have trust in killer to bring them back after they all die#something something horror is willing to give up his usual reservations to have fun with the other two#and its so fun afterwards.... because nobody but them gets hurt!!! dust and horror wouldnt wanna hurt anyone after their au lore#and killer has no reason to in this scenario. so it all works out for them!! the only people getting hurt are them and lowkey they deservei#the sans in the au is probably sooo confused as to why the world is reloading even though theres no human doing so 💀 killer you GOOF#theyve probably all died so many times but only they remember it. soooo cute.... only they get to see each other at their weakest 💔💔💔#killer absolutely abuses the save point when theyre all together i just knowww ittttt sooooo well#he wants everything to continue not restart or go back??? ok but everything IS continuous with these two#not like they stay doing one thing over and over anyways so its not really perpetual. anyways dust and horror would get bored along with hi#if they just kept doing the exact same thing over and over trying to find every possible ending. nahhhh#triglycercule this is sooo unhealthy none of them would do this!! ok well they make each other worse who said it was ever gonna be healthy#screw EVERYONE in the violet banquet discord server who indulged me in my trio waltz dancing in a field of flowers at 3 am. brainrot now...#this scene i described in tags totally happened in my trio meet each other fic btw. just that it hasn't gotten to this point at ALL yet 💀💀#tricule rant#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#sans au#utmv
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steddyhands modern au inspired by this post:
(1828 words, themes of kink but nothing explicit, established blackhands & gentlebeard-centric. Happy Pride!)
Stede picks up leatherworking in the wake of his divorce. He's not exactly sure how it ended up being such an important hobby for him, only that he had always admired the intricate designs on his horse's best bridles, and with little else to do with his time, he decides to give it a go.
It's rocky going at first, but he's having fun working with his hands for the first time in his life, and there's a sense of satisfaction in seeing the design come to life as he works. With practice, his skills improve, and he learns how to make things that are truly one of a kind.
He starts off posting his pieces online, as a way to reach fellow enthusiasts, but quickly finds himself with a rather large audience. Stede’s style is unique, and, after many requests from his followers, Lucius encourages him to make some more basic pieces he can sell. It's not about making money for Stede, but another way to meet new people who share his interests- as Lucius keeps telling him, it's sad that his personal assistant is the main person he talks to these days.
So Stede sets out on a new adventure, and has quite the time designing a new range of patterns for the market. He makes purses, belts, bracelets, and, most importantly, dog collars- all still with his unique designs embossed into them, of course. He rents a booth at his towns monthly craft fair, and very quickly finds himself with a new group of friends in the other regulars- Pete, his usual neighbour, who sells an array of wooden figures he carves, Roach, who runs a stand for his bakery, and Frenchie, who isn't actually a stallholder, but is almost always busking near his friend Wee John’s stand of knitted goods, bringing life to the market even in the pouring rain. There's also Buttons, another regular at the market. Nobody is exactly sure what he does there- he doesn't sell things, or seem to buy anything either, but rain or shine, he's there with the birds.
Stede’s been doing this a few months by the time June rolls around. As he's setting up his stand, he notices that the area is much busier than it’d normally be at this time of morning. Lucius, who got roped into helping run Stede’s stall somewhere down the line (despite his protests that this is not what personal assistant means… But hey, he got a boyfriend out of it, at least), reminds him that there's the parade today, too- not realising that Stede had no clue there was a parade today, and especially not that it was pride. Stede immediately jumps to fretting about the amount of stock he’s brought, and Lucius takes the cue to escape, saying he’ll go and grab them coffee (but really, he's off to flirt with Pete)
Lucius is still missing when Ed stumbles across the little leather stall. Stede’s just ran back to his car to fetch his last boxes of inventory, and by the time he returns, Ed’s already begun to narrow down his choices. Stede greets him, starting to tell him that they're not actually open yet, but before he gets more than a couple of words out, Ed’s exclaiming “You're a Kiwi!!!”
The two of them smile at the shared recognition, and Stede says he’ll make an exception, just for Ed, and asks him what exactly he was interested in. Ed tells him that he's looking for a collar “for his boy”, and points out the particular design he was looking at. It happens to be one of Stede’s favourites from this latest run of work, a fact he mentions to Ed. It leads them into a discussion about Stede’s craft, and Ed’s Izzy, and then everything in between. Ed’s listening intently to the things Stede’s telling him, completely drawn in by the process, and by Stede himself. He watches as Stede stamps Izzy's name into the collar, and Stede even lets him have a go at one of the stamps.
Lucius reappears sometime in the middle of this- only to immediately retreat again, seeing Stede engrossed with Ed. He sets up camp at Pete's booth opposite, watching this man flirt intensely with his boss- and Stede flirt back just as hard. Does Stede even realise he’s doing it? Lucius had known Stede was gay since before Stede even admitted it to himself, but this is on a whole other level.
The pair stand there so long that Izzy comes to look for Ed- the two of them are manning a float on the parade with their crew, and it's past time for them to get geared up. He's already worked up, frustrated to have been left to set up everything alone, when Ed had just gone to see if he could get them both coffee. So maybe he's a bit of a prick, approaching with a brash “where the fuck have you been, Edward”, to which Stede brings the same energy, giving a bitchy “Ed! Do you know this guy?” Izzy tenses, ready to snap, but then Ed cuts in, excitedly telling Stede that this is “his Izzy!” Which confuses the hell out of Stede.
Forgetting his earlier attitude, he asks Ed if he “really named his dog after his friend”, only to be met with confusion right back from Ed at where the hell Stede got the idea he had a dog from. Stede gestures at the bag with the collar in it, to which Ed has to tell him, “oh, no, that's for him.” Ed tells Stede that they're here to run a float for their local leather society, and while Stede is certainly shocked by what Ed’s saying, he's not finding himself… uninterested. It's simply that he’s never even considered any of this before, especially not that people would use the things that he made for this, but Ed sounds so enthusiastic about it all. He tells him about how his friends would love to see Stede’s work, about how classic leather gear is always so fucking boring- but not Stede’s stuff, no, Stede’s stuff is “fresh” and “fascinating” and unlike anything Ed’s ever seen before.
Ed's enthusiasm is incredibly infectious, so when he invites Stede to come back to see their float, he readily agrees. It’s a concept Izzy’s less than enthusiastic about. He doesn’t really want to bring this man who’s dressed like he just walked out of a HOA board meeting to their kinky little corner of the world, but he is having a lot of fun watching Stede squirm, so decides not to raise a protest. He does demand he gets his long-overdue coffee first, though (Stede pays for it- as “compensation for him distracting Ed from his job”, he says, not giving Izzy a second to process before he's tapping his card)
By the time they return to the float, Fang, Ivan & Jim are waiting for them, all already geared up. Stede is stunned silent at the sight for about 5 seconds, before he starts actually looking at the quality of Jim’s harness, and proceeds to go off about the poor quality of the craftsmanship, about how the hardware is tacky and completely the wrong choice with this leather, how his “ten year old daughter could do a better job!!!”
There's complete silence from the group, until Izzy, of all people, bursts into laughter at Stede’s audacity (and, the fact he was staring at Jim's tits completely unabashedly, like he hadn't even noticed them in the first place). Izzy's laughter sets Ed off as he tells the group about Stede’s misunderstanding- “you didn't say he was a person!” “I mean, he's my dog”- and soon everyone's having a friendly giggle at Stede’s mistake.
It's somewhere in the middle of the retelling that Ed remembers that this whole thing happened because he was buying Izzy a gift. After a moments fumbling, he presents Izzy with the collar- It's a rich, deep black, embossed with a rolling pattern that resembles waves. It’s made from a firm enough leather to take the tooling, and to remind Izzy that he’s owned while he’s wearing it, yet still soft enough for long term comfort. Izzy's eyes immediately lock on to it, an unreadable expression coming over his face, and Ed turns it; first so he can really see the design and Izzy’s name embossed into it, and then so he can see the small “Ed ♥” on the inside of the collar, right over his swallow tattoo.
“I did the heart,” Ed says to him softly, intended only for Izzy’s ears. Izzy's eyes flick up to Ed’s, and he raises his chin to give Ed the room to put it on. Ed buckles the collar around his neck almost reverently, a test of the tightness turning into a caress of Izzy's neck. It's a perfect fit.
It's as though something comes over Izzy; so twitchy and abrasive earlier, now silent, staring at Ed with a look akin to worship in his eyes. He obediently tilts his head for a kiss as Ed's fingers move to his chin- It's a sight to behold, and one that has Stede intrigued. He wants to know more about this lifestyle, and these men in particular. He wants to be the one to put that expression on Izzy's face.
The moment breaks as Ed and Izzy pull apart, and Ed calls for the crew to finish the last bits of set up. Izzy shakes himself a little before running off to bark orders again, but even still, there remains a softness to him that wasn't there before.
Ed turns back to Stede with an apologetic smile, already obvious that he has to get going. Before he can speak, however, Stede jumps in -“My business numbers on the card in the box… I'll be around all day”- Ed’s smile turns more genuine at that, promising to stop by if he gets a moment, and that he’ll send his friend's Stede’s way- “if he wants that kind of business.” Stede says that he does, actually- that he's seen a whole new world already today, and, while he was a little taken aback at first, he can feel the passion Ed and his friends have for this life. If there's one thing that's ever mattered to Stede, it's other people's enthusiasm. Maybe he doesn't completely understand yet, but he would like to try.
One year later, Stede’s back at the market on pride weekend again, far better stocked for the crowds this time around. Lucius is finally free to spend the day flirting with Fang & Pete to his heart's content, now that Stede’s roped his own boyfriends into helping him run the stall- and into modelling the merchandise. Ed loves that part, while Izzy needs a lot more convincing, but the puppy eyes Stede & Ed weaponise against him make a very good argument.
#Despite what this post may imply; i actually know very little about the art of leatherwork#Im also not saying Stede got into leatherwork because of his repressed leather kink. But im not not saying that.#(This is not to say that i personally think leather gear is boring- i totally see the beauty in simple/plain designs & i get that the#style is all about the look of straps and hardware. but also. i know in my heart Edward ‘likes a fine thing’ Teach would be head over heels#for fun unique pieces. Its the whimsy of it all)#(not to turn this into OFMD meta but. You can like both; in fact. You can have the leather AND you can have the florals)#ALSO. dont ask me why izzy would find a big difference between wearing gear on the float vs the stand. it just felt right#(ok i do have reasoning. its the directness of it. in the parade its very part-of-a-crowd; every interaction in passing. running the stand#is direct interactions + they are specifically looking at Him. it feels different. but he does it because he loves his partners)#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#edward teach#stede bonnet#izzy hands#israel hands#blackbeard#blackhands#edizzy#gentlehands#stizzy#gentlebeard#blackbonnet#steddyhands#fanfic#sort of... i dont really consider this fic; more. scenario description but ill admit this ended up way closer to fic than i planned#but the weird stylistic choices are because. this wasnt intended as fully fleshed out fic.#i am not a writer & i dont want to be. im just a guy with ideas over here; and the best way to share ideas is through words#(Please dont count the commas per sentence ratio. Thats between me & god)#also. I cant believe i wrote something that can be tagged as gentlebeard centric. Who am i.
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no because m still confused at everyone saying this is a bad/boring event. Every Single Server Wide Event these past 6 months have been very lore and riddle focused, with a minor focus on pve during those lore events. it felt unbalanced. the admins have stated before that they want to do events for all playstyles. this is our First Time getting a proper server wide event for a different play style.
the pvp guys need their enrichment too. there is still lore and riddles in this event but thats the minor focus! and thats okay! sometimes other playstyles need to be accommodated and have a place where everyone knows its gonna happen! main island has a gentlemans agreement to not go stupid go crazy between the islanders and that makes it boring for the pvpers. sure they Can set up their own little scuffles with rules but theres something fun about The Hunt that you cant do on main island.
the pvp guys dont get to show off a lot in events. a lot of them dont participate in the lore events point blank OR they get assigned to pve clean up duty while the loreheads get to learn secrets. if you arent able to find entertainment in this event its okay to stop watching for two weeks! ur fellow fans will keep you updated on here/twitter/discord.
#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#like to be clear on my bias' the guys i watch the most is all of active team bolas. fitmc. etoiles. and pac#i am very biased to not enjoying pvp. everyone who knows me know my least favorite part of mcc is the fact that 75% of#games played is pvp focused and theyre Boring. purgatory event is fun to watch regardless of if its the really good pvp guys like etoiles o#fit. or if m in pathetic wet cat village watching them commit ritualistic suicide by burning to death.#not every event is for you or your streamer and thats fine! but if ur actively malding over a game ur not in especially once the stream end#maybe you should sit this event out#mald in ur discord while the streams going or ur vod watching. but if you keep malding once you disengage from the video#its time to take a break from watching until the event is over#its been over a year since this event NO reblogs for u newbies. do not restart discourse
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(rant incoming)
#okay. let's process together#why did i feel so annoyed when my mom said that the pictures i was posting on insta looked a little boring?#(it's not like a picture of me it's just some book and crochet stuff(#but here's the thing. i have no idea how i'm supposed to do better than that#sometimes i'm actually enjoying myself on insta and othertimes i really feel like i am not cut out for it#cause if i'm taking a picture of something it's so people can see the thing i am taking a picture of#i 100 percent understand the mindset of wanting an aesthetic picture that looks really nice#but i usually don't know how to execute that#sometimes! but not always#usually not.#and like. in that case i would ask the people in my family who are actually good at this stuff for help?#but i want to be able to do it myself because i don't want them to have to do even more stuff for me#and yeah okay fine YES it is another taking up space thing#but like#ugh#i don't know how to fix this#instagram is kinda fun and cool but it's so not me when it comes to posts#i hate videos and pictures of myself#and visual art is not my thing#and i feel a little lost and confused and i just want people to read my book so i can make enough money that i don't have to get#a horrible normal job#and i don't want my stupid relatives to be right and i never wanted to do instagram in the first place#and the money i saved up from my old job is running out! and i'm a little scared!#and i have a wedding coming up#and stuff is just. ugh. it's not the worst but it sure ain't the best#probably i need to pray and ask God for help instead of posting on tumblr#(in my defense i wanted to process my emotions)#anyways if you made it this far pray for me?#i've been trying to not freak out about all of this for a while but it's kinda pushing its way out now#which i hate. it's just all a lot
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Look, there's so much that I love about certain otome but I really don't finish every route every time ?? But 7'scarlet, Steam Prison, and Norn9 all got completed! So they get the rec spots!
Honorable mentions: Nightshade (ninja otome, same artist as Norn9 thus I love it even if I haven't completed every route - Switch) Period Cube (I also fully complete it and the art is very nice imo and I enjoyed it a lot but it has really bad reviews from like. everywhere I see. but here's my shill of appreciation anyway - PS Vita) Sweet Fuse (it's just really fun to yell at men for being sexist - PSP)
But genuinely, there's a lot out there! Do the research on the game before you buy them! Not all otome are for everyone.
#moe talks a lot#why the hell am i spending so much time on these answers for otome just wondering#im asking myself this constantly while drawing them#also i am a hino defender and i want to throw hands with every single reviewer for the game (that ive read)#he deserves so much more appreciation IMO but i also dont wanna fight with people about it#everyones gonna like different dudes its fine just dont call him boring ill cry#im currently playing 9 RIP that someone bought for me and its also enjoyable but i havent done AS MUCH as id like to properly rec it#but well see because oh baby those character designs#ive already adopted like .... three characters#one isnt even an LI i just have adopted her as my daughter#wait whats that me adopting a side character while calling myself a freak for side characters? no way!#you have to understand first and foremost..... i am a huge fan of supporting casts#if i told you that the local cop has a beef with a 12 year old in 7scarlet is that anything?#i actually JUST googled bc I have been talking about the kid a lot tonight and i kept saying hes 12#and im like i actually dunno how old he is#oh my god hes actually 12 how do i do it gang
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pov u r going to comicon in a few months so u went charity shop hunting for a cosplay and found half of it in a singular day :)
#me#my face#cosplay wip#cosplay#can. can yuo g. can yuo guess who im gonna. coughs. can y#the last half are some matching pants and a wig... maybe a mask also idk if i should get a custome one or just rock a normal blue defult on#cuz thats kinda his brand ig. boring ass.#oh i also need a briefcase i spose. thatll be much harder to find cheep tho.... if its a cheap beat the hell up one tho#itd be literally perfect#anyway. young girl to boring old man pipeline starts here folks. :)#edit: i am not going for full 100% likeness tho btw. i will add some buttons and the triangles to the suit ofc but i dont care tooo much ab#missing the breast pocket. plus i can paint the clouds on the tie itll be fine ^_^. my shoes will just be my work shoes#theyre not the most comfy things in the world but theyre black and the same general ish shape and i wear em all day already so im used to e#unless i find some cheap shoes that're more similar cuz my work shoes have a pattern on em idk...#either way i go for comfort over anything else with cosplays anyway so this all works out :]
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Hate how in every thread where someone asks for challenge ideas for pz most answers are just 'make it as hard as possible' I dont want to make a run with highest zombie and rarest loot settings, eternal winter, no guns or cars, take all negative traits or whatever! i want a goal other than just 'survive'
the problem isn't that it's too easy to survive, it's that i dont have a point to work towards and then it all feels sort of pointless...
I like challenges like 'get from one end of the map to the other' or 'collect all ingredients + the recipe magazine and make a pizza' collecting all versions of certain items is also fun, as well as giving your character a backstory and goal and rp
if anyone has fun ideas for goals what to do in pz, feel free to leave them in the notes :*
#there are some people who come up with fun ideas but the majority is just edgy gamerbros who suggest you just make it harder and thats all#i dont want to make it harder! i am very content with my sandbox baby settings thats not the problem!#i just want something to work toward not just sort of hole myself up in a safehouse and survive - thats boring#I like working on my base (and gathering specific tools/materials for it) thats cool i guess#i collect toys and plushies and other cute things (and decorate my house with them)#i find cars and farming boring so i havent gotten very far in the skill so i want to work on that more (problem is its boring... but im try#going to a specific place is cool too (driving is hell to me so its a challenge)#anyway fuck the edgelords! making things harder doesnt mean its more fun!#also playing with easier settings is fine and you dont need to make it super hard to prove how badass you are!#anyway im thinking thoughts#mine#project zomboid#pz
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every art critic, teacher or tutorial maker who tells you that your character designs must be conventionally attractive or appealing is a big fat liar
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something about how when a guy sonic character has nothing going for him in canon or is from a game people dont like people will flesh him out and write 500 page fanfictions about him detailing their au backstory for him anyway. if he does something really really bad whether it was a mistake or fully intentional people are willing to think about and understand why he did what he did. or theyll just ignore it entirely or blame it on bad writing. but when a girl sonic character does any of those same things shes treated like the spawn of satan
#and im not saying you should never ever do any of the things i just mentioned#sometimes its fun to see what you can do with a character that sega themselves neglects#sometimes things can be blamed on bad writing#but how come when shadow does somehting people dont like its blamed on the writers not shadow himself#but when amy does something people dont like they always take it out on the character and dont blame it on the writing#or when knuckles or silver fall for a villains tricks its fine they were manipulated its not their fault#but when lanolin does the same thing shes stupid and mean and all that stuff#people like mephiles but hate elise even though theyre both from sonic 06 and never appeared in another game after that#people will be obsessed with characters like infinite and gadget for reasons they literally made up#but then ignore any girl character that they think is boring or underdeveloped#like. hellooooooo is anyone else seeing this. am i imagining all of it
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idk how people format this stuff but RAAAAH.
#my fics#bedivere fgo#Tristan fgo#fate grand order#idk what their ship tag would be#but WOOO. CHAPTER ONE OF EIGHT.#i was so proud of this and then i realized how fucking. stilted and kinda boring (pejorative) and not boring (non-pejorative) like i wanted#it to be but its FINE. ITS FINE#ignore grammer fuck ups i might have missed when editing btw i am stupid ♥
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Well, my Proctectomy surgery is officially scheduled.
Pre-op stuff is in January. The surgery is February 5th.
....
#Owen rambles#personal#Proctectomy#Barbie Butt surgery#chronic illness#disability#actually disabled#im sooo not looking forward to this. it has to be done. but. ugh. hate that its one of the most painful and demandinf surgeries with the#most difficult recovered even if things go well. like this shit is worse than giving birth (according to moms whove had to done.) like...#fuck.#i can handle pain. its just pain. itll get boring fast. but ugh. im not looking forward to being hospitalized. especially since this#hospital is an hour away. meaning ill be alone.#imma be fine. itll be fine. but i am scared.#wish leonard mccoy was real and would just give me a pill to grow back a healthy colon. TnT
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i LOVE procrastinating this is fun i KNOW i have assignments to do but i cannot bring myself to do them. i am actually bored out of my mind. i have assignments to do and im bored. i COULD do assignments but i can't be bothered to start
and then im stressed as i realize ive eaten my whole day up doing nothing. is this laziness? i heard being lazy meant relaxing but im doing everything but these assignments. and i feel awful
#posts#were my irl friends right in their joking manners?#do i have some form of adhd to match my autism or am i just lazymaxxing but with some 4th wall narrator in my mind that tells me#“you know its due right. you are WASTING TIME” and i say “i know but how to start doing”#and brain goes “*shrug*” so i go back to being bored#bored and stressed.#im senior year these grades define whether im keeping my school offers. i need to MAINTAIN THEM. bare minimum. that's ALL they want.#bare minimum is do assignment in meh quality so at least i dont get a 0#and i don't tank my grade by like 20% (turning my 80s into horrible 60s) and risk losing acceptances where minimums were 70 or 80s#i would rather do a shitty job than do no job. i need JOB i need PRODUCT to SUBMIT. ON TIME FOR THAT MATTER. if not on time than no grade.#writing this has inspired me to do the least best i can as long as i finish the assignment and i have it done. like not piss poor but like.#no perfectionism. fuck it all my assignments be due today and tommorow we threw out the concept of getting 90s#when we started getting 70s on stuff i DID put effort into#so as long as i pass and my overall grade looks the same ISH give or take 1-2% i should be fine#unis and colleges count the 2nd smemester too and if anything its more lax there#if i get better grades next sememster i can throw out piss poor clss (animation is looking to be the worst but not by big margin)#and replace it with a cooler grade to form my better GPA#because they only count 5 gr12 credits and mixed with my film dual credit i get 6 credits#anyways enough ranting i accidentally hyped myself up i will go find a tutorial for The Program#and try not to kill myself if the interfaces do not look 100% the same (the tutorials use a previous version of same app)
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have a new mental disorder im naming transit blues where im perfectly well adjusted [citation needed] right up until i miss a bus by one minute which triggers a depressive spiral so bad that the only reason i do not kill myself is because i know in 3 hours ill be literally fine again and actually mildly embarrassed about the suicide ideation at that point
#good idea generator#bus drove away without me#i also dont wanna hear it from anyone abt how tasteless suicide jokes are bc im not joking#suicide ment /#like im fine. im fine because i will be fine in 3 hours as mentioned in the post#one of those things where the trigger is so nothing that my behaviour is extremely unreasonable#and everyone assumes im overreacting for comedy#but i dont really wanna be like no this is a serious problem for me#bc it is a deranged problem to have. and probably indicates underlying issues i need to address#but also the internal experience at this point is borderline boring#ohhhh booo you want to die? you want to kill yourself? yeah thats what u said last week and u werent serious then either. bozo#and the worst part is im not serious. but i am serious. but also i know im not serious#i feel like im a teller at a bank that keeps being robbed at gunpoint by the same guy#and at this point im pretty sure its just blanks. but i still gotta take him seriously just in case this time he'll really do it
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