#i am 24 and will never abandon YA

[crowleysgirl67]

Family Business

Author: @crowleysgirl67

Word Count: 3782

Parings/Characters: NCIS team, BAU, (Y/N) Gibbs, Hotch x Reader (eventual)

Warnings: NCIS/CM crossover, show warnings, angst,   

A/N: Thanks for reading! Loosely based on NCIS S3 E 23/24 the hiatus,

“(Y/N)” 

You turned at the sound of your name and smiled as you saw your dad approach with Fornell in tow. You abandoned your new team mates, who watched with curiosity, and met him in a hug. “What are you doing here?”

“We had other business to discuss and I mentioned you and your team were here.” Fornell chuckled. “You know he can’t resist seeing you.”

“Please you’re the same way with Emily.” your smile never faded.

“Plus he wants to scope them out ya know how dads are.” Fornell smirked as Gibbs rolled his eyes.

“Well come on then. I’ll introduce you.” you hooked your arm through your dads and led him over to the team. 

“Special Agent Gibbs, this is my team Dr. Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, David Rossi, Jennifer Jareau, and Emily Prentiss. Penelope Garcia is our tech analyst who isn’t in the group right here. Nor is our team leader Agent Hotchner.” He gives a slight nod as you introduce everyone, obviously sizing them up a bit. 

“Guys this is Special Agent Gibbs, NCIS.” 

“Gibbs?” Morgan questions, looking between the two of you.

“My father.” you smiled, glancing over at him catching the small smile that graced his face before it disappeared. 

Hotch emerged from his office and appeared at the top of the steps, looking down watching. Rossi spotted him and waved him down, “Come meet Agent Gibbs”

Confusion crosses his face as he comes down the steps, “I’ve already met her, she's on the team.”

“Not me Hotch.” you smiled and rolled your eyes. 

His attention shifted to Gibbs “Special Agent Aaron Hotchner.” he introduced himself. 

“Special Agent Gibbs” he shook his hand in a firm grasp. 

You shook your head slightly as they sized each other up. You understood he just wanted to make sure you were safe, but sometimes it was ridiculous. Their weird spell was broken when a cell rang, Gibbs unclipped it from his belt and answered “Gibbs.”

He took a few steps away to listen to his call. When he was finished you approached him to say goodbye knowing he had to go. After your goodbyes you headed back over to the team.

“What?” you asked, feeling a little weird as they stared at you. 

“So that was your dad huh? Interesting guy.” Morgan says.

You shrug, “He’s my dad.” you did worry that they were profiling him but you didn’t dwell on it as Hotch beckoned everyone to the conference room. Time for another case.

***

“What the hell was that?!” Hotch shouted at you. 

“What do you mean what was that? It’s my fucking job!” you seethed. Who the hell did he think he was? You did your job, you weren’t out of line.

“You could have been hurt, or worse.” 

“So could anybody! Rossi, Derek, you! Any of us could!” you crossed your arms.

“You’re different.”  

“How the fuck am I different?”

“You’re young, you haven’t been doing this as long.”

“Are you kidding me? I’ve been doing this since I was eighteen.”

“Under your father, sure.”

Your jaw dropped, “Your excuse is that I’m inexperienced because my dad taught me? My father is one of the best damn agents there is and I will not stand here and take this.” you stormed off.  

***

You clenched your jaw but kept quiet. The plane ride was tense and you felt a little bad for the others that they couldn’t relax a little because Hotch was mad at you, again. It wasn’t as if you tried to get in trouble, it was just something about him treating you differently than the rest of them that pissed you off. Sure you were the youngest but that didn’t mean you weren’t capable. Hell you’d been doing this for years. This work was in your blood, who you were.

Protecting people was your job, even if it meant you were in harms way. Standing in front of that kid today was no different. The unsub had been waving a gun around and the kid would have been in the crossfire if you hadn’t stepped in. 

By the time the plane landed you’d finished your reports and dropped them in front of Hotch as you deboarded faster than the rest of them. You were half way across the tarmac by the time they got off. 

“Who the hell is that?” Morgan asks as you run up to a man in a red sports car.

“Does she have a boyfriend?” JJ asked.

“She’s never mentioned one. Can anybody see him clearly? Maybe it’s just her dad. We don’t know what kind of car he drives.” Emily suggests. “I think his name is Tony.” Spencer joins them on the ground.

“Slow down, pretty boy. How do you know that?” Morgan looks at him.

“I caught a glimpse of her cell phone screen when she was texting.” he shrugs as they watch you get in the car and the two of you take off.  

***

When you walked in Monday morning you headed straight for Hotch’s office. Might as well get the yelling over with. You were feeling a little better after spending the weekend with your dad and friends. Ziva and you did a little sparring to help you work out some of your aggression. You flex your bruised and a little bit bloodied knuckles and roll your shoulder a bit where she’d gotten a good hit in. Open handed you tapped on Hotch’s door in lieu of knocking. 

“Come in.” he said without looking up. 

You walked in and shut the door, which made him look up. He regarded you as you crossed your arms waiting for him to start. 

Instead of yelling he said, “You’re hurt.” 

“Oh this is nothing. Just did some sparring over the weekend.” you shrug off his comment. You’d had worse which actually caused permanent bone pain.

He looked pointedly at your bruised knuckles, “Since when does sparring do that?”

“When you spar with a former Mossad officer. She is ruthless.” you chuckle softly.

“Was there something you needed?”

“Uh.. You’re not gonna yell at me? You were pretty pissed earlier.” you were confused. You had expected to be yelled at not this.

“No. Anything else?”

“Uh… I guess not.”

He nodded and went back to his work effectively dismissing you. You left his office confused, not that you minded not being yelled at. In fact it was nice not to be, but you were confused why he had a change of heart. It crossed your mind that one of the others might have said something to him. You were with them all weekend you didn’t see how they could have. 

“Yo (Y/N). You ok?” Morgan asked, walking up beside you. 

“Huh? Oh. Yeah I’m fine.” you answered distractedly.

“Yeah cuz you sound fine. What’s up?” he slung his arm over your shoulder. 

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. But thank you for your concern, that's sweet.”

“Ok, I’ll drop it if you answer a question for me.” he grins.

“You want to know who picked me up?” you guessed.

“Exactly. So who is he?”

“Tonys a friend, he works with my dad.”

“Just a friend huh?” he raised a brow at you.

“Yes.” you roll your eyes and nudge him, “He’s like my big brother. You tryin’ suss out if I’m dating anyone? Because the answer is no.”

He didn’t get to say anything else as JJ came over.

“Conference room in five.” she said as she passed. 

“Ya heard the lady.” you chuckled and ducked from under his arm and headed that direction. 

After the case debrief, everyone scattered to gather their things to meet on the plane. You were the last one out as you slipped your phone from your pocket and sent a group text to Tony, Ziva, Mcgee and you included Abby. Although you were sure it wasn’t her she would get a kick out of this.

*Alright, which one of you did it? Fess up.* you sent the text and grabbed your bag after making it back to your desk. Their responses rolled in quickly.

*Ooh you’re in trouble* you chuckled to yourself at Abby.

Ziva: *I don’t know what you’re referring to.* 

Tony : *Did what? Whatever it was I plead the fifth*  

You: *Who got to my boss? He didn't yell at me today.*

Ziva: *Is that not a good thing? I am confused. You were just complaining about him yelling at you.*

Abby: *gasp* (Y/N) are you disappointed he didn’t yell at you?

Tony: *Do you like him???*

You: Shut up Tony. 

Abby: *YOU DO!!!! That’s so cute!!!! 

You: YOU’RE MISSIN’ THE POINT! 

You: *Who did it???*

Tim: *I did. I texted him a video from your phone of you sparring with Ziva, with a caption about you being upset about being treated differently. I then deleted the evidence.

Tony: *Go probie! I didn’t know you had it in you.*

You: *Awww Tim. <3 Thank you, that was sweet.*

Tony *Hold up! That’s it? You’re not gonna call him out?*

You: *No, it was sweet.*

Tony: *Sweet?! You’d kick my ass if I talked to him. Hell you’d try to kick Ziva's ass too.*

Ziva: *She would not get far.*

Tim: *I thought she was doing pretty well the other night.*

Ziva: *I was going easy. Gibbs was not too happy with the small bruising she acquired from that.*

Abby: *That’s his baby. Of course he’s unhappy when she’s hurt.*

You: *Guys you realize I’m still here right?* 

Tony: *Back to my point. What the hell (Y/N).*

You: *It’s sweet coming from Tim. He isn’t as gung ho to fuck somebody up over my feelings being hurt as the two of you are. I love that about you but sometimes you gotta just let me bitch.*

“What’s got you smiling like that?” Morgan slid up next to you.  

“Geez fuck!” you jumped and slid your phone in your pocket. You’d been so absorbed in your text conversation you hadn’t heard him approach.

He laughed and you shoved him playfully.

“Didn’t your mama teach you not to sneak up on a lady?” 

“I don’t see Garcia anywhere.” he shoots you a shit eating grin.

“Derek, you are a little brat.” you admonish, but grin back anyway.

*** 

When you arrived at Rossis, you were surprised to see that Hotch and Jack were the only ones there. 

“Am I early? Didn’t you say six?” you asked Rossi as he invited you in.

“I did. You know how everybody is. Fashionably late.”  

“I suppose that’s true.” you chuckled softly. 

“You alright?” he took notice of your arm in a sling. It wasn’t there yesterday after you closed the latest case.

“Yeah. Just an old injury acting up. Keeping it immobilized helps.”

He nods, “Well make yourself at home. We’ll be in full swing before you know it.”

You smiled and made your way in taking a seat near Jack who was coloring. 

“Hi Miss (Y/N).” Jack smiles at you.

“Hey Jack. Whatcha colorin’?”

“Tow Mater.” He shows you his coloring book.

“Wow. He looks really good buddy.” you smiled softly.

“Thanks! Do you wanna color too?”

“Sure. I’d be happy too.” you adjusted the sling a bit before sliding down next to him on the floor.  

Hotch found himself smiling as he watched you color with Jack. You were very attentive to him, even after everyone else arrived. 

“You’re really good with him. Thank you.” Hotch slides next to you on the couch. 

“He’s a good kid. You’ve done well Hotch.”

“I can’t take all the credit, Hailey did most of the work.”    

“You both did great. He seems well adjusted for losing a parent so young. It’s hard.” you watched Jack giggle at some magic trick Spencer was showing him.

“How old were you?” Hotch glanced your way. 

“I was seven.” you rubbed your arm. The accident had robbed you of your mother and twin sister and left you hospitalized for months.    

He squeezed your shoulder gently, “I’m sorry.���

You give him a small smile and pat his hand gently, “I’m sorry too. Losing your spouse is incredibly difficult. I’ve watched my dad all these years.” 

***

You excused yourself when your phone rang and stepped into an empty office to take the call. 

“(Y/N)” Tony's voice was grave over the phone, cluing you into trouble. 

“What’s happened? Who's hurt?” you gripped the edge of the desk with your free hand. 

“There was a bomb your dad…” he started

You didn’t hear anything else as you felt your knees give out and you sunk to the floor. “No! No. no no.” you chanted as you struggled to breathe, to focus. 

The door flung open as Hotch and the others filed in. They had seen you go down, their concerned faces went unnoticed by you.

“Is he alive?” you gripped the phone so hard you thought it’d break.

“Yes...” Tony’s voice faded away as Hotch pried your phone from you to get details. He was alive, the relief swept through you. Whatever else you could deal with as long as he was alive.    

Your brain was in overdrive as you scrambled to your feet, “I’m sorry, I have to go. I have to go.”  

“(Y/N).” Hotch said, making you look at him. “You’re in no shape to drive. I’ll take you.”

“I.. ok.” you nodded. He was right, it was a bad idea for you to drive yourself.  

The ride to the hospital was a blur as you stared out the window trying to compose yourself. Hotch didn’t say anything as he drove, just kept glancing over as he watched the tears slip down your face in silence. 

“(Y/N)!” Abby cried out as she saw you approach.

“Abby” you hug her. “How is he?”

“He’s in a coma.” Abby gives you the grim news.  

***

You hadn’t left the hospital since you got there, and by extension neither had Hotch. You spent most of your time in a chair by his bedside, holding his hand and staring blankly between bouts of tears. It had been three days and you were getting worried he wasn’t going to come out of it. 

You wondered how your feelings had been compared to what he had gone through after coming home to find his wife and one daughter were murdered and his youngest in a medically induced coma to heal from the wreck. If his feelings were half as intense as yours, you didn’t understand why he hadn’t lost his mind. In comparison he hadn’t been in the coma that long, yet you were losing your mind.  

Tony stopped by briefly to check on you and bring you a bag. He knew better than to try to get you to leave. 

“She likes big comfy clothes when she's in distress. Also she bites her lower lip, so watch out for that. She hasn’t done it in a while but I suspect she might start. It’s almost as if it's an unconscious act. She’ll do it until she bleeds so stop her if you catch it.” he said casually as he stood next to Hotch as they watched from outside as you sat in a chair beside Gibbs bed. The large oversized hoodie Tony brought already on you, like a security blanket. 

“Why are you telling me this?” Hotch glanced at him.

“While I may be the joker of the group, I’m not stupid. You care about her.” Tony doesn’t look at him.

“She’s a part of my team of course I do.”

Tony shakes his head, “We both know it's more than that. As her friend I’m speaking for all of us, hurt her we’ll hurt you. She’s been through enough already.”

Hotch can’t help the small smile. He was glad you had such caring friends. 

Tony stepped away to tell you goodbye before returning to work, they still had a case to solve. Hotch watched as you hugged him and pondered his exchange with Tony. 

Director Sheppard had arrived again and you let her have the room. You were currently on the bench outside of the hospital room, head in Aarons lap and asleep as he stroked your hair. He was quietly talking to Dave who had stopped by to check in. The team had started coming in shifts to help relieve him. He had gone home for a little bit to shower, check on Jack and catch a few hours of sleep.

A flurry of activity going into Gibbs room stopped the conversation. Hotch turned as much as he could without waking you to stare into the room to see what was going on. He couldn’t see much with the doctors in the way but he could see the Director's face in relief. Gibbs must have woken up. 

Aaron was reluctant to wake you, as you hadn’t been asleep that long. He knew he needed to but he was determined to give you a few extra minutes or at least until the doctors were through. When they looked to be about done he gently began to rub your back, “(Y/N). Time to get up.”   

It didn’t take him as long as he expected to rouse you and you sat up. You rubbed your hands over your face to wipe away the sleep and looked around. “What’s going on?”

“Miss Gibbs?” the doctor stepped out before Aaron could answer you.

“Special Agent Gibbs.” He corrected the doctor for you.

The doctor took it in stride “Your father is awake.”

You jumped up, “Can I see him? How is he?”

“You can see him but I have to warn you, he has amnesia. He doesn't remember anything from the last fifteen years.”

“Oh no,” You whispered as you wavered on your feet a bit. Hotch stood wrapping an arm around you to keep you steady.

The doctor gives you a sympathetic look, “Try not push him to remember. We want him to try to do that on his own.” 

“Ok.” you nod and turn to look at the director and dad through the window.  

“You don’t have to go in until you're ready, kid.” Rossi gave your shoulder a squeeze.

“Thanks Rossi, but it’s not gonna hurt any less, might as well get it over with.” you gave him a small, unconvincing smile. Hotch dropped his arm allowing you to move freely as you walked to the door. 

You walk through the door and both turn to look at you. 

“Shannon?” he had so much hope in his voice, it hurt. 

The dam breaks and the water works start at him calling you your mother. “No daddy it’s me (Y/N).” 

“You didn’t…” he trails off as he looks at you.

“No. I survived.” you knew what he was trying to say. You made your way over and sat in the chair beside his bed. 

His calloused hand cupped your cheek as he wiped your tears away. Not that that did any good against the steady stream. 

“You look so much like your mother.” 

You let out a half laugh half sob, his pain was probably fresh. In his mind it was fifteen years ago. You had been too young to know the details of when and where he was told. He never talked about it, even after you’d gotten older. He had been deployed when it had occurred, that much you knew.

“They weren’t sure you were going to make it.” 

You met his eyes, surprised he would even talk about it. You weren’t sure how much he remembered yet. Staying silent you let him continue. 

“You died twice. At least that’s what they told me when I was able to come home and see you.”

“I don’t remember much, but I only thought it was once.” you remembered very little about the crash. It was always flashes of memories, you did however vividly remember dying.   

“What do you mean?” he looked at you questioningly.

“I only remember dying once. It was cold and dark and I was scared, but then mom and Kelly were there. Mom..” you cleared the lump in your throat. “Mom said I had to go back. We couldn’t leave you all by yourself. She said I was the strong one, I’d made it this far. Kelly hugged me and said to tell you she loved you and that they were gonna be waiting for us.”  

He was staring at you and something flashed in his eyes as he remembered more. “You never told me that.”

“What was an eight year old me gonna say? You’d just lost your wife and daughter. I lost my mother and twin sister. Really I was too traumatized to do much other than work on healing.” you sniffled. 

He didn’t say anything and scooted over to make room on the tiny hospital bed, before patting beside him. You were careful as you climbed up next to him, you didn't want to hurt him more. He pulled you into his side and kissed your head.   

***

You’d taken two weeks off work to help your dad out. During that time you and Hotch texted everyday even if it was just a check in text. You loved your dad but he was stubborn and you vented to Hotch about it.

You: Am I this bad?

Hotch: What happened now?

You: He’s not resting. I threatened to tie him to the couch unless he took it easy. I’m glad Jenny made him take a little vacay but dude chill!

Hotch: Yes, you have a tendency to be just as stubborn. Like father like daughter I suppose.

You: I deserve that. 🤪

Hotch: It’s not always a bad thing.  

You: You wouldn’t say that if you had to deal with me 24-7. 

“(Y/N) Door.” your dad yelled from the kitchen.

“I’ve got it!” 

You: BRB dad needs me.

You jogged downstairs and answered the door, surprised to see Hotch standing on the other side of it.

“Hotch? What are you doing here?”

“Coming to see you. Got a minute?”

You glanced back in the house, “Yeah sure. Dad, I'm stepping outside!” you shouted and stepped onto the porch. “So what brings you over?”

Hotch shifted on his feet seeming almost nervous. 

“Hey whatever it is you can tell me.” you said softly.

“I feel like a teenager asking out his crush.” he chuckled, “Which is in essence what I’m doing. Would you like to go on a date with me?”

You smiled, “I’d like that.”

“Great, maybe now you can keep her off my ass about stuff.” Gibbs huffed appearing in the doorway.

“Dad!” 

“I’ll try” Aaron laughed.

[ssinboo]

down bad.

summary: You and your long time bestfriend smoke together

or

in reply to this lovely ask!

pairing: DJ!Bad boy!Vernon x Fem!Reader

word count: 1.6k (8~ minute read)

warnings: drinking, partying, weed, very explicit making out, extremely inaccurate drug use (I have asthma, i have never come even close to a single weed)

a/n: Sooo incredibly thankful for the unending love on my previous fics! The past two months have been so hectic and all your comments gave me so much joy!! I apologise for being M.I.A, but I am working on the second part of As it was! as well as some very abandoned wips!

With a hypnotising smile, Vernon Chwe waltzed into your life like he belonged. A part-time DJ at the place you waited tables during your first semester, he was a womanising, chain smoking, asshole.

He was also your best – read: only, – friend.

You just got each other. his awkward, out of this world kind of humour was just up your alley. It wasn’t uncommon for you to burst out laughing at a stupid meme sent in your chat.

Tonight, he was DJing at a new club, a high-stakes sort of place downtown that had lines that wrapped around the block every Friday night.

This could very well be the moment he will make it to stardom.

Heading straight for the venue after your shift, you make quick work of wading through the crowd to find your bestie. And he’s talking to a guy, looking all important.

You blow him a kiss, which he makes a show out of catching and placing his palm over his lips.

The stubborn butterflies that find your stomach don’t go unnoticed.

You did have a teeny, tiny, itsy, bitsy, little crush on your best friend. Maybe it wasn’t so little, after all. Not when he plagued your mind 24/7 with flirty smirks and caring gestures.

Vernon was a touchy guy by nature, his hands always finding their way to your body; Which wasn’t an issue at first but quickly developed into a problem as you found yourself falling for him.

“Hey, handsome,” You greet him, immediately getting pulled into his arms.

“There’s my girl,” Not a cell in your body can resist his warm words, you were his girl and would always be. Vernon wraps his arm around your neck, kissing your cheek.

You’d picked out his fit for tonight, an all-black ensemble with a knitted black top and cross jewellery, your favourite. But it still messes with your heart to see the chain draped over his collarbones.

“Thought you weren’t comin’.”

“Oh, please, I couldn’t miss your biggest gig yet.”

He smiles, nuzzling against your temple.

“Didn’t know you had a girlfriend,” The guy he was previously talking to finally makes his presence known.

“Nah…” Vernon laughs, “Man, you know I don’t do relationships– This is my homegirl, my best friend. She’s my ride or die.”

There’s only so many times you can hear those words and still have a reaction.

You force a smile, telling the stranger your name.

He’s a little shorter than Vernon with a slender figure and a defined chest that is visible even through his shirt. Bleached blond hair that falls over his forehead flawlessly and bedroom eyes. God, hot people only hung out with hotter people.

“I’m Chan, nice to meet ya.”

“Chan’s a dancer, you have to see him, man. He’s fucking amazin’” Despite his arm not leaving your shoulders, Vernon emphasises his words with large gestures, sending your head crashing against his chest more than once.

You slap at his arm, smoothing down your hair before turning to acknowledge Chan.

“Well, I’ll keep my eye out for you.”

Chan smiles.

You hear Vernon’s name being called out.

“That’s my cue,” He kisses your hair, and reaches out his hand to fist bump Chan.

“Give em’ hell, pretty boy,” You cheer, watching him walk away.

Before you can even dread the awkwardness of losing your common friend, Chan is easing you into conversation.

“Come on, let me get you a drink? I’ll show you the best spot on the floor.”

He takes you to a corner close enough to the stage where you can see Vernon but not insanely close to the booming speakers. You’re more than happy to have room to breathe in the packed club.

Chan returns with your drinks; he brings you a fruity cocktail with pretty colours and an undertaste you can’t be bothered to figure out.

Vernon is a master at reading a crowd.

He can and will pick out the exact song to fit the mood, he knows by heart every timing to drop the beat and get the best reaction. You always find your body moving against your will when you watch him.

“Do you dance?” Chan leans over, having to scream in your ears over the music.

You shake your head vigorously, denying this mischievous look he bears.

“Come on?” He reaches for your hand and since your drinks have long been discarded, you don’t have an excuse.

Chan escorts you to the floor, where it is a lot more packed than your excluded corner. The blinking LEDs are almost blinding, especially when they follow the beat.

Once you stop caring about your own inability to dance, you realise how right Vernon was: Chan is a fucking dancing machine.

His body is moving in ways you could never imagine someone could, every turn of his hips dripping in precision. Now, with the alcohol simmering in your bloodstream and Chan’s contagious moves, you can’t help but find yourself swaying along with the pounding bass.

Two hours.

That’s how long you’re having fun on the dance floor with Chan to the sound of Vernon’s carefully curated playlist.

You were so enraptured by the ambience, you happened to miss the way Vernon’s eyes did not leave your figures once.

And you think you might have gotten yourself a new friend. The night was so much fun in his presence and as Vernon is walking toward you both, it can only get more fun, right?

You smile, jumping in your place with open arms to congratulate him.

“You killed it!” You exclaim, clinging to his arm.

Vernon is burying himself in your arms, nuzzling at your neck.

“Dude, you are the best DJ they’ve ever had,” Chan taps at his shoulder, joining in on your praise.

“Oh, I’m sure of that!”

“Seriously?” Vernon questions, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. He can smell the lingering fruity scent of your drinks.

“Of course!” Chan agrees.

You nod.

“I’ll trust your judgement, then,” He chuckles. “Wanna get outta here?” Vernon turns to you before looking at Chan.

Shrugging, you both look at Chan – Who has the slyest smile ever.

“Oh, hell yeah, I got something for you.”

You weren’t a big smoker. Sure you ‘dabbled’ every now and then, mostly whenever Vernon had some and you were in the mood to relax. OKay, maybe every now and then means twice and the last time, you thought you were going to die because you stood up too fast and got dizzy.

But Vernon and Chan are so into it right now.

Vernon is splayed out on his beaten up couch, laying against you with his legs over the second-hand coffee table you had to gorilla glue back together after it broke during moving.

And Chan is spread over the armchair, blunt between his pointer and thumb as he talks about the artful choreography of Michael Jackson’s thriller – Though, you zoned out minutes ago.

It’s only when Vernon is nudging at your side, offering you the blunt when you wake up.

“I’m not sure…” You whisper quietly, “You remember last time, it was too much.”

Vernon licks at his chapped lips, leaning back straight. He glances at Chan for a second before he stares back at you. “ We can try something else, might be better than pullin’ straight from it.”

You have no idea what he means by that, but you trust him.

So when against your better judgement, Vernon brings the burning bud to his lips, chest rising as he pulls, you’re surprised. But he doesn’t inhale or exhale, no.

He reaches for your cheeks, pulling your lips toward his. So close, untouching yet you can feel him so clearly.

The smoke tickles at your lips, stinging at your eyes until you say fuck it and inhale. You feel its warmth at first, following its path through your system, lazily pooling into your lungs with its languid daze.

And you think it’s all he will do, just so you will smoke and that was the plan. But when Vernon watched your eyelids droop above your adoring gaze, he couldn’t hold it anymore.

So he crashes his tongue into your parted mouth, devouring your taste with an unfound hunger; Specially when you’re humming so sweetly into his lips. It’s nothing near a chaste peck. Saliva drips from your connected lips, his grip on your neck tightens, bringing you further into him so he can ravish every bit of your eager tongue.

There’s a heat that burns in your chest, hotter than the blunt he holds between his pointer and thumb. And you melt into the shape of his body, dripping, seeping into every crevice, fingers reaching for his chest, curious touch mapping out every inch of his skin you can grasp.

You’re moaning against his lips, brain hazy under the intoxicating drug that he exudes. You wrap your arms around his neck, closing yourself off to the world and diving deeply into the perfect bubble he has created for you two and leans into you, chest rising and falling into yours.

And when the kiss ends, you’re panting, lips covered in a mixture of your saliva and his, reddened and swollen with his attention. Vernon smiles, running his tongue along your lips.

“Do you feel it?” He whispers, pressing kisses along your jaw.

“Huh?”

Oh, you feel nothing but the bubbling desire that pools along your stomach, burning through your veins with its lingering longing. By kissing you, Vernon has given you a taste of heaven, so how must you go on, knowing what his lips feel like?

You’re so busy with your thoughts of his kisses, you don’t notice the show Vernon makes of running his lips along your neck or the wink he sends Chan.

Vernon liked to say he wasn’t a possessive person, especially when it came to material assets, he wasn’t attached to his laptop or phone, and would happily lend his clothes to friends.

But when it came to you, there weren’t limits to his possessiveness, you were his from the moment you first smiled at him.

“…Fuck,” Chan grunts, looking down at his very obvious hard-on.

[atherix]

Kisses 32 for midnight mumscarian

and/or

Touching 24 for any couple in midnight

👀 oooooo-

Look I'm not gonna lie I am. Going to use a lot of these as an excuse to write Redscape-heavy scenes so 👀 BUT ya know-

Ask Prompts!

32. “stay strong” kisses

"Mumbo!"

Everything is hazy but he hears his name, loud and clear. It's the only thing that feels real as he looks up, seeking out the familiar faces of his mates. He only finds Scar running towards him. He blinks as the Elf drops to his knees in front of him, quickly moving his hands to the injury on Mumbo's chest.

Scar looks distressed.

Mumbo doesn't like it when Scar is distressed. Scar should be smiling and laughing- Scar should be dancing with the wind as he casts spells beyond Mumbo's wildest imaginings, Scar should be chasing Grian around the manor, Scar should be showing Tubbo all sorts of new and interesting things about magic-

Scar shouldn't look so afraid, so breakable.

Mumbo reaches up, brushing Scar's hair back behind his ear, and Scar's gaze snaps up to his.

"I'm fine," Mumbo says, and they both know he's lying. "Where's Grian? You should- go help Grian."

"Grian's fine," Scar says, and Mumbo pauses. "He can- he has it handled. More handled than we did. Come on, we need to get this taken care of."

Scar's hand is warm but it trembles, fear and worry making the man unsteady. Mumbo blinks and cups his face gently.

"Hey now, love, we've seen worse before," Mumbo murmurs, brushing dirt away with his thumb. "It'll be alright."

The amount of trust he finds in Scar's eyes is almost painful, because they both know that doesn't make any of this alright. The silver buried in Mumbo's shoulder burns more than anything he's ever felt before, and Grian is out there fighting in a way he's never fought before, and this moment of peace- this moment of quiet, tucked away in the shuddering shadows, out of sight of their enemy- isn't any sort of true peace.

There's no such thing as peace in war.

Mumbo presses a gentle kiss to Scar's forehead- an action that might usually elicit a playful that tickles! from the Elf. Now, Scar leans closer to him instead, all jokes and teases about his mustache left abandoned.

Grian lands now, stumbling as his feet touch down before collapsing next to them. "Mumbo," Grian breathes sharply. "You need to-"

"Silver," Mumbo murmurs, still holding onto Scar. "If I heal without getting it out-"

He doesn't even finish before Grian is rooting through his bag, pulling out a steel knife- the same one he bought Mumbo all those years ago, at the festival Mumbo broke Isolation to attend with him. Mumbo hasn't seen that thing in ages- figured it had fallen somewhere.

Now, he supposes, he knows where it went.

Scar makes a strangled sound next to them. "You're not really going to-"

"We don't really have any other choice," Grian says, looking at Mumbo with a furrowed brow- worried eyes. "My love, this is going to hurt, but-"

"Trust me, nothing hurts worse than silver," Mumbo tells him sharply, breathing in sharply as the pain flares up in his chest.

"I'm sorry," Grian says, shuffling closer. "I am- so sorry, I had no idea this would happen, I don't know how-"

"It's fine, really," Mumbo says, voice wavering. "We can- talk about it later, yeah? Let's just- just get this-"

Scar's hands, still trembling, are gentle as he takes Mumbo's face in them, turning his attention to the Elf. "Like you said, it'll be alright, yeah?" Scar says quietly, leaning closer and pressing a quick kiss to Mumbo's lips. Mumbo's attention fully on Scar now, he misses the quick look shared between the once-Avian and Elf; instead, he lets Scar kiss him again.

He forgets, for just a moment, that nothing is alright.

24. whispering in their ear, lips touching the skin

(The pairing I am choosing for this one is... drum roll please... Cleo/Ren! Well, technically Cleo/Ren/BDubs with mentions to Ren/Martyn and Cleo/Ren/Martyn, but-)

Cleo chuckles, running their fingers along the lip of the cup. BDubs leans into their side, both watching the flustered Werewolf across from them.

Ren clears his throat. "As I was saying, Lord Cleo," he starts, his attempts at formality more endearing than annoying to the Zombie Vampire's ears, "I was thinking that- maybe... if you might be so inclined, dude- ah. Well, I was thinking-"

"Allegiance to my Coven," Cleo says. "You help us and we help you, correct? Help you and your Mage run from the little Wolves chasing your tail."

Ren coughs. "Well, I mean, when you say it like that-"

Cleo sets their cup down and BDubs leans forward, bright eyes on the Werewolf. "So to get away from a bunch of Werewolves you seek help from Vampires?" BDubs asks, a hint of mirth in his voice. "Oh, that's funny. There's some kind of irony there."

The Lord stands from their seat and walks around the table, and Ren audibly swallows as they tower over him. His ears flatten and he smiles in a way that feels more like a grimace, an attempt to not bare his teeth at them. Cleo chuckles and leans over, resting their hand on the back of his seat.

"Lycanthropes tend to keep distant from us," they say, raising a brow at him. "And vice versa. Yet here you come to us, requesting our help to run away from your old pack..." They lean closer, next to the Wolf's flattened ear, and quietly say, "That's quite daring of you, is it not? To walk into the den of the Werewolves' greatest enemy..."

Ren straightens up, but he isn't quick enough to hide the shiver Cleo's words send down his spine. They chuckle.

"Well, luckily for you, I like Wolves," they add before pulling back, standing straight again. Ren's face is flushed and he fidgets in his seat, glancing between Cleo and BDubs with wide eyes.

BDubs laughs and bounds over, leaning on the arm of the chair Ren is sitting in. "That means she likes you," BDubs tells Ren, as if the Wolf hadn't parsed that together himself. "And she won't kill you for your audacity."

"Oh- that. That's good," Ren laughs, and Cleo snorts.

"Oi, BDubs! Has Etho been convincing you I'm dangerous again?" they ask, as if everyone sitting in that room doesn't already know they're dangerous. "Killing him has never even crossed my mind." They glance down at Ren, whose smile is strained for an entirely different reason now. "After all, I can respect a man who would risk his own safety to protect his mate."

Ren's eyes brighten and his tail wags instinctively. "Oh, good! Thank you. You are very appreciated, thank you."

Cleo laughs and reaches over, setting a hand on BDubs' shoulder to encourage the excitable man to give the Wolf space.

"Of course, my help doesn't come for free."

[azzahrahumaira]

April 8, 2024

Ya Rabb, I know how sinful and despicable I am and I know I don't deserve any of your blessings, but please let me tell you about everything. I know You are the All-Seeing and the All-Hearing, but still, let me be like a 7-year-old now and pour my soul out to You. Because You're the only one I have. Because I know that despite everything, You wouldn't judge me like those people. Because You are always willing to listen to me. Because unlike people, You have never hurt me. Not even once. I know You love me so much, You always have.

Ya Rabb, I know there's millions of people who love Palestine and are trying their best to support Palestinians reach liberation, but why, why do I feel like I am the only one in this journey? I know this is incorrect, I know I am saying this because I am feeling sad, but ya Allah, I always feel like everyone around me DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK about Palestine. It's not just about one person, not two, not three, but many people—they say they love Palestine, they say they wanna be part of Palestine liberation movement, they say they wanna support Palestinians, they say this this and that but look, what TF have they been doing? Where TF have they been? I know. I know they still love and care about Palestinians (to some extent) but what's the meaning of love if you aren't willing to put in the effort? I am not saying I am perfect. No way!! I know precisely how awful I am but at the very least I always try my best to always remember Palestines in my day-to-day life. Those people are way better than me. They're more fluent in English. They're smarter. They're older. They're braver. They're more knowledgeable about everything. They're more mature. They're more stable emotionally. They're WAY BETTERRRRRR than me but why, why they aren't trying harder? Why they don't want to be all in? Why they much prefer to talk, listen, watch, read, consume "normal" stuff (whatever normal may look like to them) than about Palestine stuff? Why do I always have to be the one who brings it up first? Why do I always have to be the one who have to take the initiative? Why do I always have to be the one who does everything by myself?

Ya Rabb, I love doing the things I do. I am grateful my humanity is still intact and I still deeply care about Palestinians. But sometimes it just feels so tough. Sometimes I feel so lonely. Sometimes I just want to give up. But please, ya Allah, when I am going through a low moment, don't ever let me quit. Don't let me abandon Palestinian cause. Don't let me ignore their excruciating ain and their generational suffering. Don't let me forget their faces and their voices. Don't let me be a hypocrite. Don't let me be a coward. Don't let me be a loser. Strengthen my Iman, ya Rabb. Purify my soul. Help me be a better person. Help me learn English Spanish and Arabic. Help me educate myself and others about Palestinian cause. Help me raise awareness 24/7. Help me encourage myself. Help me follow Jenanmatari's footsteps—because I really wanna be like her. Help me get through all of this. Help me be a better friend for Palestinians. Help me be a good person, ya Allah. Aamiin

[elliebear666]

My therapist said she wonders if my preoccupation with my ex was just because she abandoned me... and when I said, "I was madly in love with her. I love her now, even if I'm not IN love with her anymore." She nodded and said, (paraphrased) "Well, what I meant is that... her abandonment of you opened up every old abandonment wound. It wasn't like they left you at the laundromat and you never saw them again. But... they abandoned you emotionally, and required you to provide for their needs and mediate their relationship, in a similar way to how **** wanted your effort and time and was very preoccupied with having her own needs met, but seemed unwilling to provide for your needs. And then, when you were in a bad spot, even though you were there for her basically 24/7, she wasn't receiving that same level of care and so she left when you needed her most. You no longer were providing for her needs and therefore you weren't beneficial to her."

I was like... "Yeah..."

Idk. Yeah, her abandonment of me reopened every wound from my past. Her ridicule, her abuse, her rejection and abandonment, the breadcrumbs of affection, the half in half out, eye rolling at my interests, wanting me to partake in things she wanted to do but rarely seemed interested in doing things I liked doing.

So... idk. Maybe my therapist is right?

Maybe the reason I can't let go is because her abandonment of me mirrored so much of my childhood trauma and abandonment that I give her the same level of importance in my mind as all the other shit that happened in my childhood.

I can't say. I know that I truly, deeply, unconditionally loved her. She could have continued to be a jerk to me, and as long as she was giving me breadcrumbs, I would think she was providing mutual sustenance.

Idk. I feel like I'll never be able to forget her. Which maybe this is part of my journey: learning how to let go... accepting what I can't change.

I don't think things happen for a reason at all.

I think life is naturally chaotic, and we try to create order out of the madness. That's what humans do.

Idk. I still miss her. I don't know if I'll ever not? I wish I could forget she ever existed. I just... I don't think that it was the abandonment that seared her into my mind. I think it was everything. Every little thing.

:/ That's life.

So I'll keep missing her. I used to think about us getting married... which is crazy. I used to think about living with her. About growing old together. How I would have stood by her side through every single hurtle, and built her stairs every time an obstacle was too tall to simply climb over. I wanted to learn everything about her so I could cater to her needs. I wanted to build a life with her.

And my.... being a disgusting loser? Didn't help. No wonder she left me. Idk. I shouldn't say that. Only disgusting people do the shit I did. Who the fuck does that shit? Jesus idek.

Idk. I think I was so consumed by my shit that I couldn't see outside my own lens of pain.

Whether I pushed her away, or she was never mine to begin with?

I will continue, in some ways, to long for her. To see her smile one last time. To catch the scent of her hair again. To taste her.

But she's in someone else's arms now.

And I... am alone. Alone and empty, even though so many men want to be with me.

It hurts. So fucking much. I try to repress it and disassociate from it, to pretend it doesn't. But... she took a piece of me when she left. And I think I'll never get it back.

Ya girl is crying again. Fuck. This is going to haunt me. Perhaps until the day I die. Was it the emotional unavailability? Was it the potential I saw in her? Was it the good times? Was it the mutual abuse? The chaos? The lies and manipulation?

I don't know. Whatever it is, I still crave it like a drug. A drug I know I'll never be able to have in my system again. I might get to a point where I'm not craving as much, but all it takes is one bad enough day, and I'll relapse into her, to agoni6zng memories and shattered dreams. To pathetic what ifs and wishes and hopes.

I still haven't been able to say goodbye to her, though I desperately try. I fear that the words are stuck on my heart, or carved into the organ itself. It beats with a limp since she left.

There is an emptiness in my bed, a pain in my heart, a lump in my throat, hole in my soul. She shot right through me like a bullet.

Although I've been bleeding ever since I was young, she widened that wound and more blood seeps out than before.

And yet? Sometimes, I think I'd tear myself open if it meant I could see her one last time.

I hate this. I want to not give a shit.

I am addict. Addicted to a love that may never have even existed.

Goodbye to the dreams, and the dreamer that awoke when I was in love with her. They both died long ago. The dreamer was a... cage. He wasn't real. He wasn't me. And yet, my captor was captivating, and I fear I will never be able to take eyes off of the shadow in my peripherals.

Goodbye, dreams. Goodbye, dreamer.

[themoontaxi]

hanna!! hii could i have a medium pancake with a banana <3

and a hug for you too <3

hi raven! <3 finally got around to it…

so i didn’t wanna go with “oh you know i think you’re funny” and “i heard that you read a lot” again cause i thought that was lame, so i went with my gut and listed some things i thought you might need to hear. it got kinda relatable and very therapeutic for myself too haha. it’s more of a soft vibes playlist, hope that’s okay :) here ya go:

🥞 - 15 song titles that i associate with you or your blog:

-> explanations:

simmer: feel your feelings fool!

tired as fuck & sleep well beast & rest my chemistry: i hope you can fix your sleep schedule <3

lost & blender & will it all work out?: hi fellow overthinker, i’m sure it will work out somehow somewhere sometime

darling are you gonna leave me: abandonment issues much? same bestie. if you’ll never bleed you’ll never grow

pressure: let me carry some of that weight for you <3

nothing revealed / everything denied & you don’t have to be lonely: take off that mask and try to let people in

dissolving: simply existing is enough sometimes!

they’re in love, where am i? & i know alone: yearning 24/7, huh? giving you a big hug <3

redemption: it’s okay, you can forgive yourself! you’re not your mistakes

🍌 - my favorites and why:

sleep well beast: i loooove the national! and this is such a good lullaby

rest my chemistry: such a good classic. what a vibe. i think no one is upset when this is comes on

blender: currently obsessed with 5sos and this song is so great to jam to. love the production as well.

nothing revealed / everything denied: this speaks to me sm. i love all the experimentation with sounds and the lyrics are just exquisite

redemption: just discovered it today actually but it was so soothing to me and got me emotional

okay enough rambling. hope you enjoy!

[s-n-a-k-e-p-i-t]

So I finished the Grisha trilogy

In anticipation for the upcoming Netflix series combining Shadow and Bone and Six of Crows, I decided to give the universe a try. I have been recommended Shadow and Bone over and over for YEARS after seeking similar books to the Shatter Me series by (the literal loml, seriously this book changed my life)  Tahereh Mafi--if you haven’t read it, please go rent/buy the first book and ENJOY--but anywho... I was recommended this series because I google searched “books with boys like Warner” because

SPOILERS BELOW for Shatter Me, Shadow and Bone, Storm and Siege, Rise and Ruin:

I love Warner and who doesn’t like a dick ish male character that the female protagonist hates and soon we learn of their tragic backstory and slowly grow to love through a story of redemption (friendly reminder, I am now a dramione person, I wish I could be surprised) 

So ANYWAY. Started the first book. I feel like the characters are kinda lacking in it. I don’t really care for anyone and I don’t feel like there’s enough Alina introduction to make her a compelling character. The first book also felt like a lot of traveling with very little plot... very Deathly Hallows--but it was the first book of the series. I’m considering the fact that I read the trilogy as one big book on my kindle adding to the fact it felt like nothing happened, because when I finished book 1 I was only 30% of the way through it, but still it’s very difficult for me to recall specific events as nothing really felt climatic at the end of the first story. 

The SECOND book however, saved my Tolya, Tamar, and the now second loml Nikolai was significantly better. This was also the book I confirmed I hated Mal. Maybe I hate that he had ignored Alina forever and was pining and he literally didn’t think twice about her and then suddenly because she was interested in someone else he was like WELL WHAT ABOUT ME. Idk. Not my cup of tea. Also let my track record show that I never like the childhood best friend to lovers character (except for Gale in hunger games, unpopular opinion go ahead sue me) But anyway I could see her with Nikolai WAY MORE than Mal. I was honestly surprised that wasn’t explored more. 

And shocking to me, and I’m sure everyone who knows me, I LOVED the third book the most which is never the case, I always hate the conclusion books-often they’re rushed, super anticlimactic, or just messy in general. I felt the pacing finally hit its mark, the story was intriguing, we were done hunting finally and it was all coming to the build up face off. This was where I started reading faster. Mal being the third amplifier, I literally tweeted “MAL IS THE WHAT” on my 1d/5sos twitter and everyone was like Emily wtf are you talking about and had a solid breakdown about it. I also started to like him more after the White Cathedral stuff went down, but still the idea that she had to kill him to get his power didn’t make me upset. My head went: great she can do that and be consoled by the ever amazing Nikolai for the rest of time, PERFECT. The near cousin thing w the Darkling though? I was like PLEASE DONT JACE/CLARY ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. But despite my distrust and dislike of Mal, I thought the ending was super strong and I did actually like it, it felt realistic that she lost everything but him essentially. 

I was on my way to read Six of Crows after this series, so I could be up to date with the show, but my friend recently recommended The Cruel Prince and I read 75% of the book last night. I couldn’t put it down, so Six of Crows- though I’ve heard even better things about it- will have to wait a little longer.

Now back to why I was referred this book. Was the Darkling like Warner? If you need something like the Shatter Me series would this be a good fit for you? I don’t think so. I don’t think you go deep enough into the Darkling in his own words to make them comparable and I don’t think there’s enough self reflection either. I got a very stand offish vibe from the Darkling and while ya Warner isn’t the golden child for spilling feelings, I feel like he is more human and simply tortured by his past than the Darkling. So this one unfortunately did not fill the Shatter Me hole in my heart. And I am sad, but I will keep searching.  

[whiterabbitsystem]

hi!! we’re the white rabbit system

i’m rabbit :) i have ᴅɪᴅ, ʙᴘᴅ, and ʙɪᴘᴏʟᴀʀ 1. professionally diagnosed in 2018. i’m in therapy and rarely post about our trauma. we don’t believe you can have a system without trauma, sorry!

no syscourse <3

♡ age 26. check out our carrd for more info ♡ on this blog you’ll mostly see posts from..

👼 sam. 27 she/her. host (derogatory)

cohost. bisexual. in a relationship <3 artist. writer. antisocial attention whore. piss poor punk. introvert. gets the worst of our bpd symptoms

🐇 wyatt. 26 she. host (affectionate)

main cohost. bubbly bunny. loves all things cute sparkly and pink. also creepy spooky and dark😈 mj’s twin. & the only alter who identifies with the body. am baby. extrovert. very much in love <3

👽 frances. 29 she/her. anp/work host

the cool older sister we always wished we had. brilliant, optimistic, carefree, kind, she keeps the peace in the system. she’s the calm within the storm. born artist. always drawing on something

⛽️ baby. 22 he/him. primary protector

goes by baby or miles. came out of dormancy to take over as our main protector again. he goes mute sometimes under stress and drowns out intrusive thoughts with painfully loud music. detests wireless earbuds and bad drivers

🤡 moxie! 22 she/her. deranged clown

chaotic neutral clown + ringmaster of this circus. acts super chill but is actually dangerous. hides it with humor. xtra protective of us. she can be unhinged, violent, hysterical. or she can be the life of the party. listens to mona and no one else — acab + blm !! 🐷🔫

🎧 mona. 24 she/her. god’s favorite

born from our catholic guilt. raised by wolves. she’s like if 80s goth & 90s grunge had a baby. still considers herself catholic but is very anti religion. it’s complicated. pro-choice & huge supporter of abortion <3

💣 michael. 18 he/him. introject

sensitive sweetheart with a sinister side. just wants to be loved. codependent. Babie 👶🏼. chaotic neutral. bi. power bottom. major abandonment issues. writes fanfic. loves experimenting with makeup and dressing like a slutty victorian vampire

📓 alaska. 17 she/her. ANP babey

ex host during our teenage years. reads a lot of books to escape. writes poetry about our past. collects books + cd’s of all genres. smokes a lot of weed to cope with constant anxiety + drinks a lot of wine. romanticizes everything

🐸 terra. ?? he/they/she. cryptid

genderless cryptid. switches between a feminine + masculine form. conspiracy theorist. #actually psychotic. in touch with nature but terrible at keeping plants. adhd. always stoned & spending our money on weed. huge nerd. they love frogs!!, dnd, video games, comix, memes, urban legends, weirdcore, unreality, kermit the frog

🚬 mila. 25 she/her. tire fire

learning to speak russian. heavy smoker & drinker. bottles up all our anger into a molotov cocktail. shows no emotion. never takes anything seriously. super sarcastic and slightly narcissistic <3 dirty commie lol

🧺 val. 30s. she/her. system mom <3

val is our mom <3 matron saint. stress smoker. caretaker, protector, soother. takes care of the chores around the house. always makes sure we have food in the fridge. makes us take our meds, shower, clean up, etc. ya know, mom stuff™. she loves singing and music and adores amy winehouse. she has a voice like a disney princess

🐀 ryan. 23 they/she. (ex) persecutor

human or rodent? yes. filthy street rat. failed experiment. untameable menace >:) reformed persecutor. trauma holder. queer as in fuck you. not allowed to shave our head anymore :c **prefers to be called rat

💸 frisk. 19 he/himbo. pleasure seeker

gen z meets 90s baby. pretty boy. poly pan and promiscuous. thrill seeker. impulsive i guess. makes a lot of memes. uses humor as a coping mechanism. hypers*xual. listens to mostly post malone + lil peep. so basically i’m a fuckboy… /j

🛼 jenny. 15 she/her. intrusive thot <3

teen alter in a 26 yr old body. proud slut. not a minor. i like sex weed boobs boys and barbie ♡⃛ britney spears is my idol. jesse is my boyfriend. he makes me wanna feel pure again ♡⃛ ♱

🦇 dez. 26 she/her. gatekeeper/hbic

short for desdemona. boss bitch. fierce witch. gatekeeper/system manager. maintains our appearance. never leaves home without doing our hair & makeup. buys most of our clothes & has the most influence over our style. takes over as host in times of extreme stress or crisis

🛹 max. 10-14 she/her. cool kid 😎

cooler than all the adults here. frequent fronter. bitchin’ ballerina. funky lil lesbian. vampire bleehhh 🧛‍♀️. baby goth. really into skateboarding

[tinyboxxtink]

"Clueless" *Part 3*

Okay so my dog ended up being totally fine, and luckily I had most of this written beforehand. <3

PS- REALLY shouldn't have watched the actual movie while writing this...lulz. Count how many actual lines from the movie you catch.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

Tag List:

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@wanniiieeee

@milkshqke

@gibbs274

@aprildecker-blog

@objection-argumentative

@word-scribbless

@stars-in-the-skies-world

-----

He drove back up the Beach House, but you and Ariel had abandoned it for a loft in the city, no forwarding address. He asked himself why he was putting so much effort just to get back in contact with you. He couldn’t explain it, it was like something against logic.

He dialed Ariel’s number.

IGNORE.

Redial.

IGNORE.

Text: “Answer your phone!!!”

Redial.

“What do you want?”

“I want to talk to Y/N,”

“Well she doesn't want to talk to you,”

“What did you tell her, Ariel?”

“The truth,”

“I don’t...I can’t even begin to imagine what that means in your language,”

“Oh whatever Raf, what does it matter what I told her? She’s MY friend, not yours!”

“You don’t OWN her Ariel,”

“Don’t I?” She smirked. “I feed her, I clothe her, I give her a roof to sleep under. I even gave her a cute necklace with her name on it, like a collar,” she smirked.

"You're evil," he sneered.

“I’m a saint,” She scoffed. “Do you know where that girl would be without me? Do you know the years it would take in a therapist's office to heal the emotional trauma I so selflessly saved her from? Her life will be enriched and better because of me, how many girls can say that about you?"

“Oh right, like helping her hasn’t served you any purpose?”

“What purpose could it possibly have?”

“Please, if I ever saw you do anything less than 90% selfish I’d die of shock,”

“Oh that would be reason enough for me,”

“Look, I get it. You've never had a mother so you're treating her like your personal Barbie doll,"

“And what, you wanna be her Prince Ken? Or, lawyer Ken,”

“She’s NOT a Barbie doll!”

“You’re right, she’s not. So I’m not going to let you play with her emotions,”

“What does that even mean? For fuck’s sake Ariel, I just want to be her mentor,”

“Really?” Rafael could hear her rolling her eyes through the phone. “You’re trying THIS hard to mentor some girl you met less than 24 hours ago? REALLY,” She chuckled.

“I may not be ‘Harvard’ smart BRO, but I’m not stupid. I know when a guy has let’s say, less than moral intentions with a girl,”

“It’s not like that,” He growled. “She’s a sweet girl, Ariel. And I’m not going to let you try and change her into your clone,”

“Wha--my clone? Please, Raf she could NEVER reach my level. Believe me, I’ve tried for four years. She’s a good sidekick,”

“This isn’t over,”

“Isn’t it? You have ZERO idea where we are,”

“Please, there’s maybe 5 places in Manhattan you’ll go, and they’re all on the Upper East Side. It’s not hard,”

“Well then, I guess we’ll see who’s better at hide and seek!”

CLICK.

------

Ariel rolled her eyes with a smile just as you walked in the living room.

“Who was that?” You asked, toweling your hair from the shower you had just exited.

“Mom,” She rolled her eyes. “She wanted to make sure we weren’t tearing this place up,”

“Oh?” You asked, suddenly hopeful. “Was she going to ask Rafael to check?”

“What? NO,” Ariel shut down that thought quickly. “I assured her she didn’t need to send that dog over here to sniff around you anymore,”

“Ariel,” You rolled your eyes with a sigh. “I’m a big girl,”

“I know sweetie,” She walked over and scrunched your face. “Such a big girl,”

“Whatever,” You rolled your eyes again walking back to the bedroom.

“Hey…” Ariel grabbed the TV remote. “Do you wanna watch Clueless?”

“What? ….Why?”

“I don’t know, you mentioned it yesterday and now I can’t stop thinking about a young Paul Rudd,”

“....Who looks exactly like present Paul Rudd,” You laughed.

“I know right? I want the magic face cream he must use,” She giggled as you both sat down on the couch to watch the movie.

----

“See, Cher isn’t a bad person, right? She saved Tai,” Ariel gestured to the TV.

“Am I Tai in this situation?” You eyed her.

“Well, yeah,” She shrugged. “Duh,”

“I’ll take it, I love Brittany Murphy,” You shrugged.

“RIP,” Ariel made a sign of the cross with a kiss looking up to heaven. “We should pour one out for her,”

“On your mom’s thousand dollar rug?”

“Okay, so maybe just pour one for us,”

Her phone vibrated wildly; it vibrated so hard it fell off the coffee table onto the floor. You picked it up to put it back, but you happened to glance at the screen.

BHOLE BARBA: You can’t keep her from me forever, Ariel

Wha….keep who from him? You? Did...was he...did Ariel….?

“Alright, who’s ready for mimosas?!” Ariel said in a singsongy voice as she returned with two flutes of champagne.

“What is this?” You held the phone up to her. She read it, her eyes grew wide.

“I...He’s talking about the Adele CD I borrowed from him forever ago, he’s weirdly possessive about ‘her’,”

“Ariel,” You interrupted her with a stern face.

“What?” She played dumb.

“...How could you do this to me?” You asked with a hurt expression.

“Do what?” She rolled her eyes with a laugh. “Protect you from my loser ex brother?”

“You--! Oh my god,” You couldn’t believe it. Your own best friend was trying to mess with your happiness?

“Oh come on Y/N, it’s not that big of a--” She rolled her eyes with a laugh, pissing you off even more.

“It IS a big deal!” Tears stung your eyes, you hated that you started crying when you got angry. How pathetic was that?

“Why? You can’t possibly be in love with him or something,” She scoffed.

“NO! Of course not,” You crossed your arms. “But he could help me with school, with my career! Don’t you want me to get a good job, eventually move out of here?”

“Maybe I don’t!” She yelled suddenly.

“...What?” You asked in disbelief.

“Look, Y/N,” She sighed. “I...you...we both know under normal circumstances, we would never be friends,”

“...I mean, I guess…” You shrugged.

“Oh come on,” She gave you a look. “You’d have to explain every sentence you spoke to me,” She had crocodile tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Oh come on Ariel,” You sighed and sat next to her. “You’re NOT stupid,”

“I’m stupider than you!” She cried.

“...More stupid,” You corrected her.

“See?” She sniffled.

“Okay, but-- still,” You took her hand. "You're my best friend. Do you think that if I don't have to live with you anymore, I won't be your friend?"

"Maybe…" She looked at the floor.

"Ariel!" You cried. "Really? Come on,"

"You come on!" She was actually getting upset now. "Look, Y/N. I don't have...friends,"

"What?" You snorted. "You have the biggest social circle I know!"

"Yeah but--" she tried to find the right words. "They're not like….friends, friends ya know? They're more like…. followers, or leeches, of--"

"Sycophants," you chuckled. She did surround herself with as many people who would tell her she was amazing as possible.

"I don't know what that means but probably, yes," She nodded. “You’re the only one who I can actually talk to, you’re like my little sister,”

“....Right, so…? You think I’ll just give all that up if I move out? If I don’t need you financially anymore?”

“Maybe…” She mumbled. “But ALSO, if that stupid asshole gets into your head about me!”

“Oh God…” You put a hand over your head. “Ariel,” You took both of her hands and looked at her very seriously.

“You are my absolute best friend in this entire world, no…’boy’ could change that! I’ve known you so long, I know you completely. Nothing he could tell me would make me turn on you, I swear it,”

“Really?” She raised an eyebrow at you.

“Really! You held a hand up like an oath. “AND, even if-- WHEN, I get financially stable and can live on my own two feet, I will ALWAYS be your friend,” You used the oath hand and placed it in hers again. “I swear it,”

“....Okay, but absolutely ZERO sleepovers here,”

“Oh, my god, ARIEL,” You gasped. “I JUST want to talk to him about law stuff!”

“Yeah, that’s what he said too,” She rolled her eyes, not believing either of you.

“He did?” You felt your face fall.

“Ah HA! See? Disappointment!”

“Shut up,” You hit her. “I don’t care, we should just be professional anyway,”

“Uh huh,” She nodded sarcastically.

“Are you going to give me his number or not?” You gave her a look.

“No,”

“ARIEL,” You crossed your arms.

“No, then you’re going to immediately call him and give him ALL the power,” She wagged a finger at you. “I’m going to give him YOUR number, and if he calls you, he calls you,”

“Ariel…” You gave her another look.

“What? You don’t believe me?” She feigned offense.

“I really don’t,” You shook your head.

“Alright FINE,” She pulled out her phone and opened her texts with Rafael, typed in your number and hit SEND.

“Happy?” She showed you her phone.

“....Maybe,” You hid the giddiness that was building in your stomach.

Almost IMMEDIATELY after sending the text, your phone lit up wildly.

“Good god I’m gonna get out of here before the nerdy phone sex starts,” She ran out of the room with her mimosa in tow.

“Shut up!” You hissed, mentally preparing yourself for this phone call. The phone call you’d been waiting for for days, even when you thought he was a “player”. You took a deep breath and hit ANSWER:

“Hello?”

“Y/N?”

“Yeah who’s this?” You asked coyly.

“It’s...Rafael, Barba…”

“I’m sorry, who?” You teased.

“Ariel’s….brother?” He skipped the asterisk that went along with “Brother”.

“Ohhhh right right right,” You nodded, keeping him nervous. “Yeah, Ariel told me all about you,”

“I knew it,” He growled thinking about Ariel and her lies. “Whatever she said, she’s lying,”

“Oh so you don’t want to be my mentor?”

“Wha--?” He was shocked. Did Ariel actually change her mind? Or dare he think...a change of heart?

“Yes! I mean, I do! I absolutely do!” He may have said that a little too overzealous, so he dialed it back. “I mean, if I have some time I’d be up for it, if that’s okay with you,”

“I might, maybe…” You were twirling your hair in your fingers. “When do you think you might have time?”

“Well you know I was thinking--” He started, but there was a knock at the door.

“Oh sorry, one second,” You got up and walked over to the door and swung it open to reveal Rafael standing there, right in front of you. He was dressed in a black suit with a pink tie. As amazing as he looked in street clothes, you thought you might mount him right there in that suit.

“I have some time right now,” He smiled, acting as if he was still on the phone. You couldn’t help yourself, you leapt into his arms and kissed him, HARD.

-------

“Hello? Y/N?”

You snapped back to reality, Rafael was talking to you on the phone.

“Oh! Um, Yeah, sorry what?”

“I said I have some time right now, if you wanna meet for coffee or something,” He half laughed, still enchanted by your awkwardness.

“Yes! Sure! I...let me just get dressed, just text me the address, I’ll meet you in a few,” You were so glad he couldn’t see how beet red you were from that little fantasy you had just been in.

“Sounds good,” You could hear him smile; even through the phone it made you weak in the knees.

You hung up and ran to Ariel’s room, hoping she’d help you get dressed.

What could you wear to impress him?

[thedevildomdaily]

Demonic Possessions Ch 3.Mr. Happyface Sunshine Boy & The Best Route Responses

NOTE: I hope you're enjoying the new fic. I feel much happier and less exhausted. n_n Let me know in the notes or via private message your thoughts on anything related to the fic and/or my characters. I do want to develop relationships between all of the characters before the NSFW stuff happens. I hope y'all are cool with that.

Warnings: Just typical swearing this chapter

Lena was reluctant to say, “I think our exit from your bedroom this morning gave Levi the wrong impression...and it made him uncomfortable.” Lilly and Asmodeus had completely different reactions. The human was concerned, knowing how much anxiety Levi could have in situations that made him feel awkward. His younger brother, however, thought it was hilarious!

And of course he would. He interacted with the nephilim as intimately as possible, purposefully allowing his brothers to assume something happened with her. He didn’t realize just how strongly Leviathan would feel about it. It was quite amusing.

“Uhm...Lucifer?” Lena hesitantly called to the eldest demon. He, of course, looked irked by his brother’s exclamation and exit from the group. “My tour guide just ran away. What do you want me to do?” She accepted Lucifer as her ‘boss’ while staying in the Devildom. There was something about his demeanor, his smug expression, that irritated her a little. The way he looked down at her (quite literally) with an indifference.

“Satan. Escort Lena to her first class.” The blonde’s face was stuck in a book as he walked behind them. He sighed, and nodded, “Right. Follow me Lena.”

Lucifer continued before she could walk away, “Leviathan will be in each of your classes. Follow after him, even if he’s reluctant to walk with you. If he tries to actually abandon you, remind him that I told him to escort you and there will be consequences if he fails.”

Her eyes widened at that statement. That was a little extreme. It made her think that Lucifer really didn’t like or trust her at all. He absolutely wanted the indigo-haired otaku to stick with her, even against his will. “Ugh...okay…”

After agreeing to relay the message, Lena and Satan divided from the group. He at least had this first class with Leviathan and herself. Maybe it wouldn’t be so awkward? It was definitely premature to be getting jealous over her; they’d known each other for less than 24 hours. She’d really hoped to run into her brothers, but she’d settle for seeing them at lunchtime.

~

“How should I approach Leviathan?” Lena finally asked Satan. He seemed so absorbed in his reading that she didn’t really want to bother him too much.

Satan snapped his book shut in a nonchalant manner, and looked upwards as he thought. “Why would you want to approach him? He’s pretty much the greatest shut-in I’ve ever seen. He’s not one for making friends unless they are 2-D characters in his video games.”

Lena frowned, “Well for one, that’s really harsh. Two, that’s exactly why I’d like to talk to him. I want to be his friend, especially since he’s my ward under command of Mr. Happyface Sunshine Boy…” The nephilim mocked Lucifer’s stance and Satan froze for a moment.

“Did you just…?” He couldn’t believe someone referred to Lucifer as ‘Mr. Happyface Sunshine Boy’. Satan was on the verge of dying and sinking into Oblivion over that. He had to cover his mouth with his fist, trying his best to refrain from revealing the true joy he was feeling.

Of course caught on to him trying his best to hide the laughter. “What, is that not accurate? How about Sir Jubilant VanLaughs A Lot? Dr. Giggling WonderHugs?” she smirked and tried to peek at Satan, to see the tears beading-up around his eyes. His ears were red too and it was so cute and hilarious.

“S-top it..” he murmured. There was very little air left in Satan’s lungs, “I can’t. I think I will always refer to Lucifer as Mr Happyface Sunshine Boy...it’s so wrong…”

The two made the rest of the trip to the third floor alchemy lab mocking the eldest demon brother. Apparently he and Belphegor weren’t huge fans of his. Lena would take note of that as leverage for getting Belphegor to warm up to her later on if necessary. She wanted him to just give her a small chance if possible. Leviathan too. She thought she’d gotten off to a good start, talking games and anime the other evening before dinner.

Speak of the devil(haha)! Leviathan was sitting alone at a potions table, his face still glued to his phone. There was an empty seat beside him, so Lena actually bolted to it just as the bell rang. The demon’ eyes widened beneath his long bangs at her suddenly beside him. And since the bell rang, he couldn’t get up. Not that there were any other seats available now anyways.

“Looking to escape me?” Lena whispered, “too bad son! You’re stuck with me like glue until my time in the Devildom ends. Your delightfully charming brother Lucifer wanted me to let you know.” This caused his face to glow red and he gripped his DDD tightly. She couldn’t even tell if he was angry or embarrassed. She assumed both, but decided not to let up. If he was going to run, she would chase until he caved in. It was a little exciting.

~

As soon as alchemy ended, the third oldest brother tried to bolt, but Satan and Lena both took his arms. The blonde decided to help out in exchange for the laughs she gave him at Lucifer’s expense earlier. She may be worthy of his little club ya know? Besides, he would somehow get blamed for leaving Lena otherwise unattended to if Levi didn’t cooperate.

“WAAAAGH!!!!” he exclaimed, “Let go! Physical contact is a no for me!”

“Will you please listen to me for a moment?” Lena asked. He shook his head ‘no’. It made her sigh and she let go of him. “Fine...I wish you’d just talk to me for a moment. I mean, wouldn’t Ruri-chan give me a chance?”

That caused the demon to freeze. What did she know about Ruri-chan!? Still, even though she was taking a wild guess, Lena was right. Ruri-chan always gave her friends the benefit of a doubt and was eager to hear anyone out.

The third oldest looked first to Lena, and then to Satan. Where she was looking dejected, his brother looked pissed. He’d tell Lucifer in a heartbeat if he were to run off again he was sure. He was already going to hear about it when he saw Lucifer next anyways and he was afraid he was going to get grounded from purchasing anything on Akuzon for a month.

“W-wait.” He stammered as Lena started to pull away from him, “That was a low-blow using my precious Ruri-chan against me!” He eyed her sternly and sighed, “What do you have to say to a shut-in like me anyways?”

“Firstly, I want to say this: Stop talking down about yourself. There’s nothing wrong with being an Otaku or an introvert. You’re way too hard on yourself and if it’s because your brothers make fun of them, then just ignore ‘em. They all have flaws too. Some of which are way worse than nerdy obsessions…” Lena gave a side glance at a knowing Satan. He had gone on a solid tangent about Lucifer earlier, and then remembered his anger towards Mammon.

Lena continued, following the brothers into the hall slowly, “Next, I want to address what happened with Asmodeus.” She couldn’t believe she was having this talk with a grown-ass demon. “Not that it is ANYONE’S business, but nothing happened between us last night. He was just being his flirty self. His implications were to just play a joke. He’s rather mischievous isn’t he?”

“You’ve got no idea…” Satan grumbled.

“I may be 5’4” and I am a half human. But I am probably older than Solomon himself and I don’t feel threatened at all by Asmo so you have nothing to fret over if you’re just concerned for my safety.” She knew that wasn’t the case. It was really cute knowing he was a little smitten by her in such a short time.

Leviathan saw the chance to get through this embarrassing event and move on. “Yes...I was just concerned about you and didn’t know how to address it. Asmo can be extremely lecherous and I didn’t know if a nephilim could resist his charm abilities.”

“Well I couldn’t deny that I was a little curious…” Lena snickered, “I’m just not that easy. And it's really nothing to get worked up over. His and my relationship is of it’s own and I wouldn’t let it stop me from pursuing others…” The brothers paused and blinked before looking at each other, not quite understanding what Lena meant. The expressions made her laugh some more.

“What does that mean exactly?” Satan asked. He’d glanced at the time and motioned for them to hurry on to their next class.

Lena played it coy at first, “I dunno..you tell me.” The blonde frowned and glared at her. She was just as bad as Asmo it seemed. “Fine. it’s means that I’m non-monogamous. I believe in open relationships…”

Leviathan’s brows raised and Satan got a little embarrassed for pressing the matter. “I see...well then I’m certain Asmo wouldn’t mind if you did decide to…you know what? Never mind. We’ve no time to discuss this. Get to class and I’ll see you both later. Leviathan. Don’t abandon her again or Lucifer will tie you up like he does Mammon…”

That made his older brother gulp and start picking up the pace, “C-Come on Lena!”

The nephilim laughed and followed after Leviathan to Advanced Demonology & Ethereal Beings. It seems that she had managed to fix things with him, only to embarrass Satan next. These demon lords were such easy targets and she wasn’t even trying. The only reason Leviathan didn’t get further involved into the conversation was because he wasn’t entirely sure he grasped what she was saying for one, and the fact that he swore he saw Lucifer in the distance glaring at him caused Leviathan to be distracted for another.

~

The two barely made it to their next class. Both Belphegor and Beelzebub were in there as well. After welcoming Lena and reviewing the material from the previous day, the instructor had the class silently read a couple of chapters and answer the corresponding review questions. Typical school stuff.

Bored, Lena decided to take her new DDD for a test drive by chatting with Levi who looked as extremely bored as her. She also noticed that the youngest brother was sound asleep and drooling so much. She snapped a picture of it for a later date. Too cute!

Lena:“So are you going to go shopping with us after school today?”

Levi: “Yeah I guess. There's a comic shop I want to show you that has crane games I want to try my hand at again.”

Lena: “Sweet! Should I invite the twins as well?”

Levi: “Lol you can try. Beel will go if he can eat somewhere. Belphie is totes salty w/ you still I bet!”

Lena: “Well he is the baby I guess? Lol I don’t want him to hate me though!!! T_T ”

Levi: “ROFL!! 1000% The baby! Idk how to get him to like you. Start with Beel first. He only listens to him.”

Lena: “Totally get it! My bros & I won’t listen to anyone else. Lol well, we only listen to Azri. He’s Boss Level diva and we don’t want him nagging at us! Kinda like a certain big bro of yours amiright!?! ;D”

Levi: “OMD!!!! ROFL!”

Leviathan actually chuckled a bit in the quiet classroom and Beelzebub took notice. Actually a couple others noticed. It made Lena giggle under her breath too and she put her head down on her open text book.

~

When class ended, Leviathan waited for Lena to get some additional assignments from the instructor so she could catch up. She didn’t look like it, but the nephilim was a solid A student and enjoyed learning new things. It came with being one of the oldest females alive in the human world, and going through the struggles of inequality. Like hell was she going to let her gender decide her ability to learn. She was glad her father was so progressive and allowed her to go to school and do pretty much anything her brothers did.

“It looks like the two of you are getting along better.” Beelzebub said to Leviathan as he nudged Belphegor awake.

Leviathan was going to choose the tsundere path during this play-through. “I don’t know what you mean. We’re fine. It’s not like I was personally upset with her, a 3D world member.” Sure. Sure.

“So you’re just afraid of Lucifer’s punishment?” Belphegor asked with a huge yawn between words, “Then why were you two giggling and texting each other during class?”

His two brothers stared at Belphegor dumbfoundedly, “how could you possibly know that?! You were sound asleep!” Levi exclaimed.

“You were snuggling your book as a pillow and now it’s covered in drool again…” Beel added. He held it up by the ‘dry corner’ to show a long slime trail dripping off the bottom. “Satan is going to be mad because he just got you this replacement.”

“Oh hey guys!” Lena interjected as she joined them, “Sorry it took a moment Levi.” He waved it off. “So did you ask them?”

“Ask us what?” Belphegor gave the nephilim a suspicious look. He still didn’t trust her and of course he was still salty about losing his clubhouse in the attic to her.

Lena took the opportunity to actually get a chance to talk with Belphegor, “Last night Lilly, Asmo, and Mammon decided to take me on a big shopping trip to get a few necessities and to show me around the downtown area.” She tried to gauge his face for a mood change, “I wanted to see if you two would like to join us?”

The twins thought for a moment. Clearly Beel was waiting on his twin’s response because he was being supportive of him and his feelings. It was extremely sweet. To nudge them into agreeing, Lena decided to pander a little.

“Lilly told me that you would be the perfect person to show me where to get some good local food, Beel. Oh, uhm is it okay to call you that?” She asked cheerfully.

Beel’s full attention quickly shot to Lena, “Yes! I can definitely take you on a food tour through the city!” he chuckled, fully game to dine with her and totally forgetting his brother in the process. “And you can call me Beel, that’s fine!”

Belphegor could see what Lena was doing. She was clearly trying to charm the both of them like Asmo or Mammon when they wanted something badly. He was definitely not going to fall for it…

“And Belphegor...Asmo said you were the one to help him pick out those extremely soft pillows he’s got; the comforter too! Now, I’ve never been into the Celestial Realm or anything, but I imagine that must be what a Heavenly cloud feels like!?” Lena boasted, “Could you pretty please help me find something like that? You must be an expert finding the right fit…”

“Of course I am. I have a huge collection of different types of pillows…” and he fell for it!

By the end of their discussion, Lena had both Beel and Belphegor agreeing to tag along after school. Leviathan told her she chose the best Route Responses for the both of them and the Event would be successful.

They went on to their next class, and agreed to join the twins and others at lunch time to discuss the trip.

[sugar-petals]

SuperM as Subs

↪ A/N. UGH these guys have me fucking spiraling. very excited to bring you this, please indulge 👀

○ warnings ⚠️ 18+, dom/sub, kinks galore, gender-neutral dom!reader

3.5k words | bullet points | this is all over the place there is so much to say i—

⌈ ten

— motto: kitten has ‘ten’ in it, but so does intense.

wowza honey

best choke out you’ll find

the stamina, too, oh lord. ten can handle a lightning fast riding without blowing up in two minutes

all while you choke him

with a waist harness on and ankles bound

bondage looks so good on him; he’s flexible and enduring. imagine a hogtie... art. 

such a beautiful man.

literally, rope marks, imagine that

we need to talk about his pain threshold as well there

things that have other guys screaming are a mere tickle to him

i can’t emphasize enough how lucky you’ll be. this fella does not have to be trained much. experience? abundant. talent? more than vast. he knows precisely how far he can go with what kind of kink. that is invaluable.

and now, the most mind-blowing part. stress: he encourages you to take it all out on him. in his mind, that’s an extra treat and a promise he gets it raw how he loves it. 

your satisfaction is his fuel, as is seeing you unwind. 

the whole progression from heavy beginnings to breathless ends

the boy needs you to go, for the lack of a better word, buck-wild

so yes, ten is your number one (pun intended) address for all things messy. he asks you to hatefuck him, you spoil him with it.

the sheer masochism of him

are you kidding me

listen i’m not a fan of the sin concept but in this case... you can sin all you want with him

tl;dr: angry sex is his thing. strong emotions. guts will be rearranged.

about the elephant in the room: yeah, this guy can bust some extraterrestrial, dazzling, sexy as hell moves

that means one thing. contortionism. you can bend him into every position you desire and fuck him like that. he’s petite but don’t worry. your babe’s strong

in fact, you can sit on his face and get one ferocious rimming daily

things will get wet wetter wettest

surprise surprise vice versa he likes his own ass filled with plugs and vibrators

the type that buzzes him into a delirium while you slap him. with his neck turning red and those pretty almond eyes going wide. 

they do hold the universe. he’s just so enthralling.

btw. talking about toys. having a fleshlight ready to make him moan and ruin his orgasm is a veeery good idea.

chances are you will draw cute english or thai interjections from him

in return, you can call him your prince and kiss him all over for aftercare. he’s no different, thinking of you as someone figuratively and literally noble to him. he’s thankful you fulfill his greatest sexual dreams. it’s true, you’ll really worship each other.

he’ll do his little mona lisa smile and doze off in your lap...

sub!ten is just priceless okay

10/10

i need a moment

⌈ kai

— motto: local strip club found bankrupt.

oh mY GOD nini

he knows how it’s done

did he go to sub school or something

you’ll find him at the stove around 6:30 AM in his apron

making you breakfast pretty much butt naked otherwise

flustered and sexy butler kim right at your service

looking very sculpted

dancing a little, as usual, he’s getting into it

in other words, you’re sure to get those eggs fried well

now, besides his skimpy clothing and waiter allure

kai as a submissive is almost definite to be an epitome of organization. he’s just good at it. period. lube and protection are always in the house.

you do your part doing maintenance for toys and cracking the occasional whip but really i mean... as the great oh sehun once said... never don’t mind about a thing when jongin gets the chance to put something in order

so lean back — kai is a service sub. he’s the type who wants to break a sweat for you

and have that very visible because he doesn’t own clothes anyway. well, well.

something more about organization

fucking according to a schedule sounds about right

you have it all planned out with a special calendar book just for that purpose

but don’t believe he’ll be boring and hyper-structured beyond that

kai is the precise opposite of dull as a lover but that’s a huge duh

he has both the acute sense of bashful romance and strong erotic feelings that come with a regular eyebrow wiggle

he likes to provoke the wild animal in his partner

reckless abandon

kai is 100% guaranteed to make you let out the beast. he enjoys feeling you go all out and grip him, pin him. everything hands-on is good.

grinding and gyrating is always part of sex. hell, even floating and flying. fuck gravity.

you need a certain level of dexterity. and hey if you don’t, you will pick it up from him in a solid minute

what i’m trying to say is that it won’t happen that the two of you rub against each other in the sheets like two blocks of wood (even when going into aftercare!). it will be fluid, ever-moving, energetic right and left with the mattress creaking all over the damn place

sex with jongin is one thing for sure: fucking fast. he won’t mess up his tempo if you know what i mean. the two of you will be thrusting and moaning until complete fatigue sets in

he whines a lot i’m telling you

it’s the surefire way to know kai is into it, being genuinely vocal is one of his best qualities as a sub

besides handling any rough pace 

this guy will have you sneaking into his gym room and have a quickie on the next best workout bench

and lord knows what else. 

the bathroom is another destination. wet!kai, the yearning romeo, is an image you won’t forget

prepare to get your hands on all of that

he’s gonna melt right into ya

and that is sub!kai for you

⌈ taeyong

— motto: vanilla? hardly heard of her.

to use an nct pun: the options are— limitless.

and another: you’re signed up for a... long flight.

and you’re gonna be the: boss

who gives it to him

and i’m warning you

he’s shy about it but

taeyong is simply insatiable. take his kinky reputation at face value.

what doesn’t he do

the softest softcore (feathers to tease him) to the hardest hardcore (edge play, hallelujah), the whole spectrum without any efforts for transitions

so you guessed it, a normal bedroom really won’t do.

neither does a standard dom

but since you’re knee deep into taeyong — go figure, you’re reading this — news flash you likely aren’t one

plug in all of your toys and cameras for date night. he needs his good dose of lube-dripping fantasy, homemade with a bunch of latex thrown into the mix

yeah i know that will escalate quickly

he wears it well i’m telling you

and also greatly enjoys you donning it for friday evening

it will frustrate him to the max which is a sight to see indeed

no other sub in super m gets harder boners over latex. that’s how it is. he’s just so drawn to the material and how much authority it gives you in particular

noona/oppa kink incarnate

hell, even daddy/mommy

he calls you that when you are forehead to forehead and catching your breath

because man these orgasms are going to get you so high, bodies gently intertwined

and very, very drenched

not just skin-wise

so let me underline this

your dear taeyong, no matter how innocently he can blink at you, gets his daily nutrient intake from cum. 

what fancy-schmancy protein shake is he interested in other than yours like literally none

put him on a leash together with baekhyun and you have two salivating, ultra dirty boys

so ready to please and swallow everything up

taeyong is a handsome handful

you’ll be horny 24/7

or 23/7 maybe because aftercare

where we revert back to adorable yong. he clings to you a lot, you nuzzle him all the time, the affection is off the charts

he’s pouty and sweet, smiling to himself

holding him tight gives him a big sense of security. 

safe to say he wants everybody to know he belongs to you in terms of PDA, too

it’s not restricted to domestic intimacy and sexual aftermath

taeyong truly has the perfect ratio of freaky and soft

god worked hard on him

⌈ lucas

— motto: when bigger is better, things get wetter...

ready for take off are we 

yukhei is one flirty crackhead you’ll love it

teasing will go back and forth

there might even be play fights and wrestling involved. messing around on sofas and carpets, you know the deal. things won’t get too rowdy, he’s being his 6′ baby self and you don’t want to use your whole bag of tricks yet vice versa

lucas eventually lets you win anyways

and acts like he’s lethally injured ffs

he’s an aquarius don’t come for him they roll that way

in comes the patient-doctor roleplay. yep that’s how the story goes

and you sure as hell get to take care of um

luke’s big lightsaber

alright

it’s throbbing a bit too much and needs medicine

so think of yourself as a jedi master training your disciple.

read: edging the living soul out of him. 

rough handjobs are just perfect

as is going on a rodeo trip getting the guy to tame those bucking hips with a lil punishment here and there. and with punishment i mean tickling even when he is close to orgasm

uh-oh

wong yukhei is a cutie pie but he has just about a bucket of cum for you spilling all over the place

he might get a lil embarrassed about it, that’s the sweetest thing

cleaning it up will be his greatest pleasure

so

ready for subby lucas yet?

he’s juicy

so what else do we have... 

(besides that he sounds like harry styles is dubbing him and that voice is going to turn you on so hard)

if his dominant doesn’t have an ounce of a muscle and biting kink that’s, how to put it, a missed opportunity

just licking him and leaving marks everywhere just has to be the biggest feast in history. you have him parade around sleeveless just to see the hickeys on his arms. 

and you don’t have to be frugal. it has to scream mine mine mine. yes, xuxi has some arm sensitivity going on. he needs your mouth on him doing chaotic stuff that leaves his jaw hanging open. to the point of you eating your brunch off his chest and shoulders.

there i said it 

breakfast with yukhei is cancelled. it’s breakfast on yukhei

as for positions: things are usually more chill and standard. just how much missionary will there be, you’ll lose count. he’s good at it. lucas has the condensed passion of ten people, it will be more arousing than you’d think. it’s also a good pause to your usual activities, you both get a chance to um take a breath

if he feels cocky, wong brathei likes to lift you up during sex and here we go again with a staring contest... which ends with a bright smile and kissing 

what did you expect

always remember this one thing. in his big himbo brain only one thought floats around and that. is. his. love. for. you.

a whipped boy

he’s irreplaceable.

patient xuxi reports speedy recovery

⌈ mark

— motto: good boys go to heaven after debuting a couple times more

sirs and sirettes, mark lee.

what did you think the “m” in super m stands for? mario, man, massive, market, model?

nope

SuperMark is what keeps the planet spinning

now here it goes

let’s get one assumption out of the way first

you’d think he fucks how he talks but you’ll be surprised

everything’s slow slow slow

the pace is very casual for someone who raps and thinks that fast

mark is just too friggin’ cute

a blushy cupcake

innocent and always curious what you’re up to

just perfect for all sorts of gentle dominance

you can reassure him when he gets nervous which happens every now and then

and put him into soft sweaters and blankets when he feels cold

maybe even building a pillow fort and just caressing him ad nauseam literally for minutes on end.

tousling his hair would be adorable beyond belief

the same goes for giving him cheesy pet names

or feeding him sweets

you can bet chocolate is his favorite. 

but it’s not just all about pampering him

keen how he is you can expect a lot of gestures of attention from mark, like carefully selected presents and foot massages

there’s a real gentleman at your hands.

a gentlemark

he might have come up with that himself 

you bet there will be lots of humor involved mark just can’t do serious sex

his intellect is yeahhh... superhuman

as much as his heart is squishy for you.

it’s hard out there. this world is tough

but mark is a safe haven to return to and have wholesome hours in bed with

30% sex, 70% aftercare.

you think that’s impossible? look into his puppy eyes and tell me all you’ll do won’t be spooning

it’s an art form and mark is just too inviting not to do a brush stroke on the canvas. 

and after you’re done spooning things are back to more caressing

a smooch left, a smooch right

for the 30% he might need a bit of outside support because his inner perfectionist compels him

so he’ll text johnny at 4:30 in the morning with urgent questions

because his mind is racing and he promised to wake you up with a set of spicy stuff

sex veteran johnny will calmly explain it to mark but also keep it short and simple

because man how early can someone text you 

and mark appreciates a crisp how-to that he won’t forget

even when you are chest to chest feeling each other’s breath and his brain almost shuts down

at the end of the day...

you say hey canada lemme get my hands on those big thighs of yours and ding ding his pants are off. he responds so easily to guidance

and his dancing skill always helps to get groovy with you

so

bust down markiana

you’re that bitch and you know it

⌈ baekhyun

— motto: you and me, relax and ch...oking

leader on the streets 

screamer in the sheets

even the most peace-loving, noise-sensitive neighbors are going to dig the things that come out of his mouth as caused by you

just how good are his lungs

imagine him making audios for you. yes, god is real.

you just hit the lotto

the things his mouth can do 

byun baekhyun is a synonym of oral fixation when will merriam webster admit it

if there’s one person in super m who can nail the picture perfect drooling ahegao face without hesitation it’s him

he will pleasure you with his tongue so vigorously

that level of spit blowing will haunt you

and the slurpi—

THE NOISES. we can’t talk about the noises. nope, nope. the noises are not meant to be described to this world. 

you’ll suffer from incurable lust once you picture it

you know what his voice can cause

that would trigger a mass hysteria

anyway. moving on. 

baeks is the type to appreciate a mix of cheek-on-cheek cuddling and getting his brains banged out

you can toss him around, grab him by the hair, fuck him absolutely stupid

while also kissing his forehead and playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. as if he doesn’t want you enough already this will have baekhyun needy for so long

he’s the king of slutty behavior

and making both of you crack up with mid-sex jokes about who knows what, suho’s butt mole or something

he’s just too hilarious. on the other hand he likes being creative and concentrated

in his free time you’ll probably find him reading erotic stories, sketching sexy stuff (i.e., well, you) in a journal, or even a manual to the kamasutra. it gets him all hot and bothered to the point where he can’t stop being chatty about it.

baekhyun’s arousal always first manifests as a wave of words or texts 

your part of the equation is distilling the essence of said texts and getting to work on that perky body of his

and praise him plenty. baekhyun loves a lot of verbal affirmations and you’re glad to shower him with it.

kink-wise: he really has a gazillion ideas to try

costumes, gags, whips, pet play, sounding, collars, semi-clothed sex, cock rings, suspensions, you name it

as the cherry on top, a three- and fourway could be part of your routine for sure. 

that being said he might have a few dicks in him physically or mechanically because geez bacon loves fucking machines and dildos

he is 100% ready to embark on one hell of an anal odyssey

how much he can stretch out you can probably guess. and he’ll make jokes about it either way to turn you on

you’ll be certain to exhaust and stuff your lil’ darling to the brim but i’m telling you what you already know

he’s gonna be the happiest ahegao boy in the world

and throw peace signs when you take pictures of him fucked out

that’s byunbaek for you. one of a kind

a subby gem

⌈ taemin

— motto: 500 points to slytherin! 

this is what you’ve been waiting for i know I KNOW

red carpets out for the sensual sub king and nation’s p.r.e.t.t.y. boy

the international bombshell blonde

a bdsm luminary

DEITY

now, listen. 

some erotic feats are truly hard to execute

but there is always one guy who’s the exception 

and his name is lee taemin

no matter how unrealistic or complex your imagination of sex with him is

with this man, most of it can become real

effortlessly

because he’s a) an open-minded lover b) rich enough to rent ten dungeons — per hour and c) closest to perfection we as a human race have ever come 

taemin is a pro at bringing all kinds of your and his fantasies to life. that’s why it’s important that you sit down to talk about how your intimate encounters could look like every other week

primarily, as far as his taste is concerned

we’ve all heard about his tales of creepypasta romance

literally he’s been an idol for so long and still comes up with new baffling ideal type stories

so according to those

he wants to be run over by you and thinks that’s hot,,, but i say... we stick to flipping him over... like on a bed,,, no car involved

this pal is macabre you have to be an embodiment of the law to rein him in

police roleplay much. arrest this provocateur!

furthermore and on a lighter note

besides being jailed

lo and behold, chained up and decked out in lace, draped on a lip-shaped art sofa is how he feels the most in his element

add a mask and a corset 

just how glamorous is he

this guy has mastered all techniques of drawing you in with the most elaborate seduction. 

tremendous!

including dance: for your eyes only. 

prepare to have your loins set on fire.

because within the 4 walls of your home his every move will be pure danger loaded with sexuality. it would be even more of a public menace than he already is when performed in front of a crowd

keep those handcuffs ready officer

because it is your mission to stop that guy 

the more restraints the better

put five harnesses on him i don’t care as long as it contains him

and once that’s done

taemin likes to be stimulated and teased with you running silk fabric all over his body

he also enjoys you creating artistic pin-up-esque photography of him

with sultry eyes and puckered lips

and no worries. taemin will put his plump lips to good use elsewhere, too. all. over. the. place. servicing his dominant is an honor.

and those moans will be like a melody.

the literal only weak spot he has

is to kiss and tell. taemin gets carried away in conversation and feels pride when the topic switches to you. so... if you lick his earlobe and call him your slave, jongin knows the very next day and finds it very entertaining. 

taemin won’t deliberately spill the beans in a group chat but one-on-one with a close friend? he’s too excited not to talk about your chemistry and lets some juicy details slip if he can’t control himself.

taemin requires a dom/me who’s definitely not insecure and wants others to know who’s boss.

on the flipside, if you enjoy voyeurism? he is your man. it’s a matter of perspective entirely.

so to speak — even his weakness is a strength.

that’s all you need to understand about him

in sum: you got yourself quite an ace 

taem will press your number and you’ll have no sorrow in the world.

we truly are blessed by his existence

peace out

© submissive-bangtan 2017-2019. all rights reserved. do not repost.

[babblable]

SO, I am so sorry, but I can't decide what to ask for the character ask meme, so I'm asking EVERYTHING for Jackie pls forgive me ;w;

1. How likely are they to have a stuffed animal? What kind? How many?

They currently only have one stuffed animal atm. Their Sheepy Sleep Sheep. Or Fluffy as Jackie calls it!

If they had any more stuffed animals, they'd name every one of them. They do not though, only got the one.

2. What does their bedroom look like?

Currently, unless they're bunking with Abbigull in her captains quarters, it looks like your regular Salty Squabble barracks. I don't know if they're able to personalize it or not, due to the barracks being for crewmates hired for short voyages rather than long staying family.

Regardless, their room has always been pretty empty. Jackie doesn't have a lot of belongings. They didn't have enough to fill their studio apartment and what they had there is all being abandoned due to Reasons™️. They certainly don't have enough to fill a room right now.

3. Do they collect things for themselves? What do they collect?

Things to chew on, mostly? And Jackie, the child brained dumbass that they are, will put damn near anything in their mouth. They also like to collect gears, bits, bobs, screws, small pieces of metal and tools, though! Also anything dinosaur related. They LOVE dinosaurs.

4. Do they cuddle/snuggull/hug in their sleep? Do they talk in their sleep?

Jackie is the kind of toon that needs pressure when they sleep and thus snuggulls Very Much Into Things, but really only allows two birds, a dog and maybe a rat they've known for a while to be PEOPLE they snuggull into. Otherwise, they mostly just burrow into blankets and hug Fluffy.

5. What are they most afraid of? Does it cause them nightmares? How bad?

Haha, Listen to Warships for your answer to this one! :D

6. How do they respond to stress? Any habits they have when stressed?

Oh boy. They respond to stress mostly by becoming irritable and itchy. If it gets bad enough, they begin to stress molt and combined with their scratching? Depending on what causes it as well, they have gotten physically ill and lost their lunch before. Not Good. Tbh though, Jackie is easily prone to stressing out. They may not look/show it, but this penguin is a ball of anxiety with damn near no skills to manage it, yet.

7. Do they prefer warm, mild or cold baths/showers?

Warm baths, tbh! Showers are nice but they're small and sometimes the strength of the water from the showerhead hurts. Also, they can't splash around as easily in a shower, so not as fun! Don't expect them to come out actually clean though. They learned how to bathe from their dog Todd.

8. What's their view on socks/shoes/pants?

They wear pants usually anyways, so their viewpoint on those is just: [Meh!]

Socks and shoes though? That's a different story. They can't wear socks bc of their talons, but they can wear shoes! It's a learning process, tbh, but they're doing it! They can't figure out how to tie them though. Hmm...

9. Do they like ice in their drinks? how much?

Yes and no. Depending on the drink. They don't drink as many cold beverages as they used to anymore, but when they do, it's usually either icy cold or has plenty of ice in it.

10. Do they have a comforter? What is it?

Yes! Fluffy! Their Sheepy Sleep Sheep!

11. Favorite article of clothing/accessory? Favorite home decoration?

Hmm... Probably their light up sneakers! As for their favorite home decor... they don't really have any.

12. If they could live anywhere, where would it be? What kind of house would they have?

A lighthouse by the shore! With a sunrock to lay on!

13. Favorite game to play with family/friends?

Any game! Even dangerous ones!

14. Favorite moment in their life right now?

Hm... Perhaps their Mama Abbigull holding them til they fell asleep in the nest in the drifting cube. They had never felt more safe than in that moment, in the arms of their Mama after such a frightful day.

15. If they could have any pet, what would it be?

A frog! But they really really do love their dog Todd. He's a very good boy! The BEST Boy!

16. Chili, Soup, Stew or Other? What kind is their favorite? Why?

Soup! Jackie gets colds easy and soups are lighter on their already sensitive belly than the other two.

17. What's their opinion on their childhood, if they had one?

:'D Haha! Warships!

18. What's their view on their siblings?

They haven't quite adopted any yet, so I couldn't tell ya. Although one person is close enough to start being considered...

19. Who do they miss the most right now?

Their best friend, Legs and friend Bilgerat. Legs deserves an explaination the most out of all their friends and Bilgerat deserves to be told what went down, but also to enjoy his vacation.

20. What kind of touch do they need the most right now? Forehead kiss? To hold someone? To be held? [Insert other options here]?

To be held or hugged. Always. Tbh, more specifically from Abbigull and Legs.

21. What do they think their base needs are?

Water, Play, Attention, Todd, Fluffy, Sleep, Food. In that exact order.

22. Opinion on touch in general?

They Cannot Handle. It causes them severe physical pain if from a stranger, unprepared for it, and/or it lasts for too long.

23. Soft, stiff, normal or fuzzy blanket?

Soft and fuzzy!

24. Do they have a secret hideaway they retreat to?

There is a garden hidden away in one of the parks they like to go to...

25. What is their deepest desire right now? Will they work to achieve it?

To get away from Mortis. They'll do their best, but really, they have very little faith in themself and for good reason when compared to him.

26. What's something they're in denial of, if anything?

Wanting to be Bilgerats sibling. And also their worth.

27. What's something they're starting to admit to?

Abbigull being Mama Your Honor.

28. What would they do if they could go back in time?

Dare I say... leave the Glacier Rider.. They had plenty of opportunities to just. not go back to her. But they did.

29. Their favorite color?

Yellow!

30. Do they celebrate their birthday? How do they do so? How would they like to?

They've never celebrated before and honestly wouldn't unless the one person who knows when their birthday is threw them a party or did something to initiate the celebration.

31. How often do they get sick/injured? How are they when they're sick/injured? Sleepy? Needy? Bored? Fussy? [Insert Something Else]?

Jackie gets lethargic as hell and incredibly needy. Growing up a sick kid, their immune system isn't the greatest and combining that with what else they went through? Yeah, no, they're pretty prone to getting sick. It doesn't help that they really don't know what to do other than eat soup and sleep to make it better.

[captain-of-the-historicfuture]

~hello~ !! For the meta asks!: 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, 21, 24, and 25 :))

Hello!! Thank you for sending these; I was really excited to see that ask game and I was hoping somebody would send some in. It still took me a while to actually answer them though, and for that I apologise. But without further ado! Some meta answers (under the cut because they ended up being fairly long, whoops):

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (Consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway.)

I thought of a few examples, but they could basically be grouped together under a common theme: whumpy/angsty scenes that were self-indulgent as all heck. The whole self-indulgent aspect often required the characters to be just the teeniest, tiniest bit OOC and/or necessitated rather unrealistic plot circumstances. So it was simply easier to keep such scenes as maladaptive daydreams, rather than trying to think of explanations for the character/plot issues…or exposing myself to judgement for them LOL.

Receiving permission to write/share one such scene anyway is an opportunity I can’t let slip by though. It might be because I’m writing this while running on zero (0) hours of sleep—let’s hear it for insomnia, y’all!—but I suddenly couldn’t remember any of my newer ideas under this category. However, I did recall a one-shot I had started writing a couple of months ago that sort of counts? “Sort of” because I could actually be arsed to write it since I was, ya know, writing it. Only got about six hundred words down though.

…should I share those six hundred words…?

………nahhh. I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet.

But here’s the gist of it: Coulson and May (because of course it’s Philinda) were married for quite some time before the Attack on New York. But then Coulson DiedTM and then got ResurrectedTM. But gasp of horror, he had to lose his memories of his romantic relationship with May because reasons. (I actually did have some ideas for those reasons but sshhhh this is about me yeeting context and setup.)

The first half of S1 still happens as normal (except MayWard doesn’t happen because??? Vows) and it’s now post-E20 “Nothing Personal”. The morning after (or a morning soon after, whatever) the T.A.H.I.T.I. reveal! May’s mom—who doesn’t know about GH.325 and whom May fed a cover story about Coulson divorcing her or something equally as oof, IDK—shows up at the hotel and starts ripping into Coulson for breaking her daughter’s heart, then dragging her back into the field with her ex-husband (him), then accusing her of terrible things and forcing her away again.

Poor guy’s confused as heck, and so is the team, and soon enough so is Lian. The only one who understands what’s going on is May, and she’s freaking dying off to the side like why is this happening to me and eventually everybody’s like! Explain??? (Was thinking about including something from Coulson like, “Are you still keeping things from me?” Just for that extra smidge of angst, yay!)

So yeah then May gives a, like, two-sentence debriefing that elicits more questions than answers. Coulson decides to take May aside and they have a heart-to-heart. Lots of feelings and angst and hurt/comfort and at some point plenty of kissing too. Just! May hiding her feelings for Coulson’s sake but really magnified, plus some actual apologies and consideration of the grief May’s been through on Coulson’s part.

And uhh yeah that’s basically it I dunno hdsjncjshd. I warned y’all it’s OOC, plot-bendy, and very self-indulgent!

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

I don’t think I could name a single character for this. I get different things out of taking on different voices, you know? I guess recently I’ve found myself gravitating towards more taciturn and introspective points of view, like JQ from my original novel Rosewood or M. Yisbon from my…other original novel Temple.

Generally, however, I like tackling stories from an outsider’s perspective. That’s why I so rarely write my more “substantial” (serious? demanding? for lack of better words?) projects from the PoV of my “preferred” character. This usually means writing from their love interest’s perspective, but not always. With shorter fanfic, using a more removed/unconventional/niche PoV can be really fun. Like, I once wrote a canon compliant ficlet purely(-ish) about Philinda from Tony Stark’s perspective. That isn’t always sustainable with stories that demand more character development or closer character studies, however, which is why it’s a good thing I like writing drabbles!

9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

My word counts tend to run long, but I usually only write one-shots for fanfic. If I’m even inspired with a novella- or novel-length story idea for a fandom, you already know I’m in deep with them. And if I actually find the motivation to plan and execute that idea? Dangg. That’s only ever happened…twice, maybe thrice, and I’m in a lot of fandoms.

At times, I wish I could go for more of a middle ground ’cause, like, you know what I love to see? An AO3 dashboard with several completed novellas for my ship/character of choice. I mean yes, I hecking love >90k fics, but sometimes I’m in the mood for quick reads…and what am I supposed to do when I burn through all the drabbles and 2k one-shots? (Besides despair and/or reread my faves desperately.) Novellas are basically always safe for me LOL, and I’d hope to be able to give as much as I take.

Ultimately though, I think I’m okay with where I am with regards to that. I wish I could write more in general, but I’d be okay with “writing more” just meaning “writing more one-shots”, ya know? More than okay, really. I have mad respect for fic writers who have, like, a hundred or more one-shots under their belt for this one ship. The fandom ecosystem would be incomplete without them (as well as every other type of writer, but sshhh that’s the type of writer I’m closest to being right now).

I’m definitely a plotter, and I definitely prefer it that way. It’s cool having such a detailed record of my process. I like feeling like a frazzled genius on the brink of a major discovery with all of my different outlines and colour coding and many drafts and various websites.

12. Do you want your writing to be famous?

Not exactly. It might be cool if my original works were recognisable in the world, but I don’t think I’d want to be recognisable. As for fanfic, I’d low-key enjoy gaining a place in that fandom’s community as a fic writer. Like someone who gave and got fic gifts from fic writer friends, who participated in challenges and GCs, who received writing prompts on Tumblr, whose name was known for doing a certain trope/genre a bunch of times… Ya know what I mean?

Unlikely to happen when I’m so hecking hesitant to publicly (i.e., outside of AO3) claim credit for my writing, but fjnskfsjhfjs. A writer can dream, right?

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Of those three, tags are the easiest for me, for I have a reliable system for figuring out those.

Next easiest would probably be titles. For fanfiction, I like to use titles that are a quote from the source material. You should have seen all of my old Hamilton fanfic… I was really proud of some of those titles. And I don’t mean, like, whole lines—usually only two to five words. It’s a unique type of wordplay that I just love dabbling in.

And lastly, summaries. Sometimes inspiration strikes me and a snappy and intriguing synopsis just jumps out—one that I’m quietly pleased with—but most of the time I’ll spend way too long trying to think of such a synopsis and eventually just go with whatever I’d come up with so far. And live with my quiet dissatisfaction for the rest of time.

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (Plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations...?) Tell us about them!

Typically, no. If I have deleted scenes, I save and publish them separately, but that’s about it. I sometimes think of AUs for my own work and might talk about them in my author’s notes—might even talk about writing them—but I never really do anything with them.

Although…

It’s not uncommon for me to decide a plotline isn’t working for a certain story or to think of an interesting but undoable arc for a certain character, but what I’ll do is make a whole new story for those ideas. Once I’m done developing the original idea and the branched-off one, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell they grew from the same roots. Does that count?

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as (film, webcomic, animated series, etc.)?

That depends on the story. I’ve actually written stories in other mediums—movie screenplay, musical stageplay, poetry, TV show scripts, play scripts, roleplay—but the novel does tend to be my comfort zone. Sometimes, if I have an idea that I think could work, or would even work better, as another medium, I’ll label it as such in my folder of ideas and decide not to write it as a novel.

Most of the time, my non-book projects are collaborations. I’m working with five different people on six different story ideas: two webcomics, one stage musical, one anime, and two animated TV shows. Little concrete progress has been made in any of those, mind you, but they’re still fun to discuss!

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

Absolutely. But I’ve been writing stories since I was five years old, so we would hope so, huh?

I wouldn’t say my writing’s changed completely, though maybe that’s just my insider’s perspective.

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Oh gosh, I can’t believe you’d make me choose. Writing is just such a wonderful experience for me; I love just about everything to do with it. Admittedly, not all the time, but. Since that barely qualifies as an answer, however, I’ll give you this—

The endings. Not only that intense feeling of rightness when you wrap up that last sentence, but also the moments before. The adrenaline of knowing you’re almost there but you gotta push just a bit more to actually get there. And also the part right after—the real wrap-up, honestly: the revision and the editing. Heavens, I love revising and editing my work.

Which is not to say I don’t like writing it out for the first time, too—there’s nothing quite like seeing your cursor scroll to the next page, like going from a blank expanse to a Oh man, how many more lines are even going to fit on this page?, like watching that page counter tick up another number. However, there’s something cathartic about finally ironing out those problems I had to force myself to stop worrying about earlier because “just finish the first draft dangit”.

I guess that’s not really the end of the writing process, but whatever. Close enough (as fic writers are wont to say).

Another thank-you for these asks, and feel free to come back with more at any time! ;P

Send in fun meta asks for your friendly neighbourhood writer!

[dreamiehrs]

deskmates ➛ n.jm

genre: fluff, high school au, deskmate!jaemin, kinda strangers to friends to lovers, reserved!y/n

pairing: jaemin x you

requested: yes

note: this was requested by this lovely anon! I felt a string pull in my heart when you said that the reader isn’t a touchy person bc... I’m the same! so I was really excited to write this hehe o(≧∇≦o)!! hope you enjoy it! (gif credit: @minhaes​)

tomorrow is your first day of junior year and to say that you were nervous was... an understatement

even though this was your third year in high school and you should be used to it by now you just!! couldn’t contain the butterflies in your stomach when you thought about it

schedules for your classes had come out a few days ago and you had immediately checked to see if you had any friends in your classes

unfortunately... you didn’t TT

at least you had lunch with all of them though ( ᵕ̤ ‧̫̮ ᵕ̤ )

you spend the rest of the day buying school supplies because you’re... that person

but all of the supplies you buy are really adorable so that’ll motivate you to get your homework done!! and to study!! get on your game y/n

anyways, tomorrow finally comes and you’re super close to pretending you’re sick so you don’t have to go but... you have to get that education ya know?

sophomore bestie jisung picks you up and can see that you’re about five minutes from bawling

he just pats your back and says: “get it together, y/n. it won’t be that bad. I can’t believe I’m a year younger than you and telling you this right now.”

“okay okay, thanks jisungie.” you focus on your breathing during the ride and eventually, you calm down thanks to your friend’s words

“no prob,” he mumbles under his breath and hands you the aux cord “wanna play something to cheer yourself up?”

you excitedly nod and plug the cord into your phone, jamming out on your way there

you guys arrive and when you walk in you meet up with your besties!! aka the dream team as you guys called yourselves

your friend group consisted of ballet dancer and artist huang renjun, soccer player lee donghyuck, ice skater park jisung, boxer lee jeno, and pianist zhong chenle

your conversation is filled with laughter as you guys walk each other to your classes and luckily, you, renjun, and donghyuck are all on the same hall for homeroom

they speedily walk you in your homeroom and you go to wave bye to them but they’re already gone

...such good friends (;¬_¬)

you scan the room for empty seats and see two right next to each other on the far left, middle row and you make your way towards them

you sit down in the desk closest to the window and rest your head on your palm, waiting for the bell to ring

you almost doze off until you hear an angelic voice from beside you “excuse me?”

you flinch to the max and turn your head to the right to see a smiley boy standing to the desk beside you

“y-yes?” you stutter out and you mentally slap yourself in the face

his grin grows wider at your bewildered state and you feel your eyes go wide in embarrassment

“is this seat taken?”

you shake your head side to side, not willing to talk anymore after reacting like a fool

he takes no time to put his bookbag beside his now desk and situating himself in his seat before resting his head on his palm like you were once before; staring at your face like he’ll never get tired of it

“what’s your name?” he softly questions you

he can see the blush on your cheeks and how you’re quietly jumping your leg up and down, but he doesn’t pay too much attention to it as you catch his attention once again by moving your hair out of your face

“my name’s y/f/l/n. what’s yours?”

“I’m na jaemin. it’s nice to meet you.” he emphasizes ‘you’ in his second sentence and outstretches his hand towards you

“likewise.” you glance at his hand nervously before taking it in yours, giving it a firm shake

you two retract hands and you visibly cringe about how clammy yours was

while jaemin’s were... soft, warm, safe

his chuckle rings in your ear and you peer up at him “what?”

“your hands are very clammy.”

this was your face right now: (๑･▱･๑)

you dearly wished for one of your friends to save you from this class TT

jaemin didn’t sense your dilemma and kept on driving you mad instead: “are you nervous?”

“yeah... even though I’m a junior the first day never fails to give me jitters.”

his ears seemed to perk up when he heard the word junior “oh? you’re a junior as well?”

“yes I am... wait a second...” you take a good look at his face before continuing “were you in my sociology class last year?”

“I was!! I sat all the way in the back. you?”

you wrack your brain and you can see him in your mind... sitting in the back, occasionally talking to the person beside him... always asking the teacher questions

wow, this was unexpected

“I sat in the very front. woah, that’s crazy.”

the bell had finally rung for the class to start, and he gestured for you to come closer and whispered: “I thought you looked familiar when I walked in. all the more to get to know you, right?”

you had a hard time paying attention to the teacher after that interaction

after homeroom, you may have bolted out of that classroom as fast as you could, not hearing jaemin suggesting to walk you to your next class

you clashed into renjun and he could just see your expression and wondered... what happened??

you started rambling incoherent things and he just looked at you like you lost your mind... he decides that this isn’t the best place to discuss things and wraps his arm around your shoulder before pulling you along somewhere else

meanwhile, jaemin just watches all this by his locker, unknown to you and renjun

you only have enough time to mention to renjun that a boy sat beside you in your class before you have to head to your next class but he looks... kind of angry? more like peeved

he looks like he’s ready to fight jaemin tbh

renjun was pretty protective of you and the rest of the dream team... so if anyone was causing you trouble he’d be right beside you, ready to deck them out

time skip to lunch!! finally, you get to see all your friends (^-^*)/

except, you have an additional person seated at your regular table and that person is... you guessed it! na jaemin

you quietly grumbled as you plopped down between jisung and renjun

they give you a concerned glance and jisung opts to ruffle your hair to try to make you feel better

it’s not like you disliked jaemin or anything it’s just... this morning he made your heart kind of... explode... it’s not like you have a crush on him or anything... you barely even know the guy

“y/n! my new friend! how’s your classes?” jaemin removes you from your moping, you glance up at him with a fry sticking out of your mouth

you hear jisung chuckle and you gently slap his shoulder

“they’re good. except, I don’t have any of my besties in them.” you pout as you look at your friends at the table

jaemin mimics you, and you hear renjun cough from your right side

“are you okay? I’ll grab you some more napkins.” jaemin leaves the table and renjun looks at you pointedly

“...is that the guy that sat beside you in your homeroom?”

“yeah.” you answer back before picking up another fry and tossing it in your mouth

“oh, I invited him to our table because he’s in my history class.” jeno speaks up from beside jisung “is that okay?”

“n-”

“yeah! it’s fine!” you squeak out, interrupting renjun who just grumbled beside you. you rested your hand on his head before ruffling his hair like crazy, him swatting at your arm in an attempt to make you stop

the rest of the day went by in a blur, and as the week went by, you learned more and more about your deskmate, jaemin

the two of you would text every day, sharing things you found hilarious, talking about your days, and gossiping

renjun was protective as always, but after a while, he got used to jaemin and his front slowly faded

he quickly became part of your friend group and to be honest, it felt like he was always meant to be there, you know?

if you had met him sooner, you would’ve totally introduced him to the guys earlier

the two of you would sometimes abandon the rest of the dream team to go on your own adventures, which consisted of going shopping, watching the stars, stuffing your faces, and/or hanging out each other’s houses

...and yes, sometimes you would give in to letting jaemin cuddle you because he begged you so much, although you weren’t a really touchy person to begin with

your hangouts with him were all careless fun until renjun pointed out to you one day ―

“I think jaemin has a crush on you.”

your brain immediately went on lockdown when those words slipped out of his mouth

“injunnie, that’s not possible. we’re just good friends.”

“friends who hang out 24/7 and can’t seem to get enough of each other?”

you roll your eyes at him. “as if. he probably sees me as his little sister or something.”

he lightly slaps the back of your head. “do you know how ridiculous you sound right now? don’t act like you don’t see the stars in his eyes when he gazes at you.”

“injunnie, don’t rope me into your romantic fantasies.”

“just see for yourself, then.”

after that convo with injun, you couldn’t stop thinking about what he said... no, no. jaemin looked at you like any other friend, not in a gushy, special way

jaemin was already a touchy person as he is, but when he was around you, he seemed to get even clingier

obviously it was something you would have to get used to, but whenever he touched you, you could feel a warmness spread throughout your stomach

....y/n, no. you don’t like jaemin. you would say to yourself

but as the weeks passed by, you found it hard to believe that you don’t like him romantically

“y/n! y/n! how about this movie?” jaemin snapped you out of your thoughts as he hung out at your house one day after school

you took a quick glance at his phone before mumbling “sure.”

you could hear him huff beside you and you glanced at him to see a pout playing on his lips

“what’s wrong?”

“I just feel like you haven’t been interested in anything I’ve been saying today...”

you feel your heartache as he peers at you, trying to search your eyes for a hint on how you feel. “that isn’t true, jaem, I―”

“no, it is true, y/n. something’s been bothering you recently, something big.”

you just stayed silent, proving jaemin right. you look down at the bed underneath you, not wanting to look into said boy’s eyes beside you because if you did, your heart would be gone for good

the two of you stay like this for a while, him gently playing with your hair when you finally decide to speak up. “jaem, I―” you glance at him and he nods before you continue “I think I have a crush on someone..”

he just hums at your confession and you turn to look at him, but his smile is sweet as ever as he looks off into the distance, pondering

you take his silence to explain more in-depth. “I’ve only been best friends with him for a month or two, however, he’s extremely important to me. he’s shown me many new experiences, and at this rate, I would say that my feelings for him undermine the word crush. it’s love, jaem, and I don’t know what to do with these feelings anymore.”

“are you comfortable enough with them to confess your feelings?”

“...I don’t know... I feel like I just did.”

to your surprise, jaemin’s face turns bright red. “a-are you saying that I’m the person you love?”

“yes, jaemin. I’m in love with you.”

you hide your face with your hands and you can hear him moving beside you, which tempts you to peak out from your fingers

he has a heartwarming smile on his face as he opens his arms

you inch closer to him and he gives you a bear hug, holding so tight onto you that you can hear his pounding heartbeat against his chest

“I’m in love with you too, y/n. I’ve been since the first day of junior year.”

you feel your cheeks grow hot as you nuzzle your head into his shoulder

so after this, it’s safe to say that jaemin never fails to give you a heart attack every time he touches you or whispers something sweet into your ear

the next day at school, he drives you to school and you guys walk in, your fingers interlaced as the rest of the dream team look at you two like you’ve grown another head

“what did I say, y/n?” renjun asks with a big smirk on his face and you roll your eyes before a smile reaches your face

“wait, what did he say?” jaemin whispers beside you

“ahem, more importantly, if you ever hurt y/n, you’re going to get messed up real bad by the rest of us, got it?” renjun announces and the others nod their heads in agreement

“also, if you ever make her uncomfortable with your touchiness, just know that we’ll be banging on your door.” jeno states and the others hum along with him

“I understand. and besides, I’m pretty sure y/n is used to my clinginess by now, right, y/n?”

he squeezes your hand and you feel your veins fill with excitement at his touch

you giggle before squeezing his hand back. “right.”

[drag-oon23]

One Lifetime

Summary: What if the merging of the various universes weren’t as seamless as the shows portrayed? Countless lifetimes suppressed into one life, one body, one mind. That’s going to leave a mark.

AO3 Link.

Nyssa awoke to the nastiest headache she ever had in her life. She reached for her dagger under her pillow and groaned in confusion when it wasn’t there. Why would she have knives under her pillow in the first place?

She stumbled out of bed and dragged herself to the bathroom to get some painkillers. Nyssa squinted as she turned on the light and looked at her appearance in the mirror. Her hair was short. When did she cut it? Why wouldn’t she cut it?

She dropped the pill bottle into the sink as her hands couldn’t stop shaking violently. The pain in her head traveled down her body making her knees buckle and she fell to the floor. Her hands looked wrong, her body was too soft, where were her scars?

The pain in her skull kept throbbing as she pulled herself up to the bathroom counter. She only briefly looked at her face in the mirror before turning away when the pain increased.

Her curiously unscarred hands fished the pill bottle from the sink and opened it, dumping two tablets into her hand. After swallowing them, she stumbled back into bed. Nyssa dimly was aware she had to call in sick for work, but she was exhausted. Using the last of her dimming strength and as her vision blurred, she grabbed her phone and dialed an unfamiliar number.

She passed out.

-

When she awoke, she found herself in a medical bed with numerous advanced  equipment. The pain stabbed deeply into her head repeatedly, making her close her eyes tightly and groan.

“Why isn’t it working, Gideon?!”

“Her body is rejecting the merge and all my attempts to stabilize her, Captain. At this rate, she will expire in 24 hours.”

“What can we do then?!”

Nyssa recognized that voice and it sounded the same and yet different from how she remembered it. An unknown word bubbled through the pain and she gasped, “Habibti?”

Someone grasped her hand and she opened her eyes, briefly noting yellow hair before slamming her eyes shut as countless conflicting memories crashed into her brain. Lifetimes upon lifetimes condensed into one single moment that seemed to stretch into agonizing eternity. She was an assassin, a lawyer, a student, a barista, a soldier, a demon, an experiment, and a casualty. Nonexistent wounds opened and closed, her limbs shortened and lengthened, her body destroying itself as it configured and reconfigured at an inhuman pace over and over again trying to match countless conflicting blueprints of a thousand lifetimes.

She mercifully blacked out, distantly noting the screaming noise in the background was hers.

-

When Nyssa awoke, the first thing she noticed was the warm water surrounding her body. She was so tired and her head continued to pound but at least it wasn’t the sharp pains of being stabbed and carved up a thousand times over and over again. Nyssa gingerly tested all her limbs and let a small sigh of relief when the pain didn’t become worst as it did the previous times.

“You’re awake!”

The woman turned her head to face the speaker. Shoulder length blonde hair, blue eyes, a wide sunny smile. Nyssa closed her eyes as the pain suddenly returned. Other images floated to the surface of feral eyes and an angry snarl. Or was she a brown haired woman with green eyes and an easy smile?

Nyssa felt hands grasp her shoulders causing her to look up into concerned blue eyes. “Hey, hey, stay with me. Concentrate on my voice.”

Nyssa gritted her teeth as she tried. The stabbing of her skull throbbed in time with her quickening heartbeat and she grasped the blonde’s forearms tightly with her hands as she listened to the blonde’s voice telling her sweet nothings. Who was this woman to her? 

When the pain finally lessened and she became aware of her surroundings again, she realized her head was in the other woman’s lap. A name drifted from her heart and she realized who this woman was. Sara. Her name was Sara.

Nyssa gingerly lifted her head from Sara’s lap and released a relieved sigh when she could finally look at the other woman without knives stabbing skull.

“Sara.”

Nyssa frowned at herself why the name slipping through felt both right and wrong. “What is happening to me?”

“What do you remember?”

“I was in bed at a safehouse, no an apartment. A knife under the pillow? I went the bathroom to get some painkillers. I called a number.”

Nyssa drifted into silence as the memories swirled into one, but without the excruciating pain of before. Lifetimes upon lifetimes, a thousand memories of falling asleep in a thousand different rooms and cells before she awoke in one room, one body, one life. 

She looked up at Sara, noting the guilty look in her eyes. “What happened?”

-

Nyssa, looked out the a window on the time ship over looking planet Earth. The crew had largely ignored her though whether due to Sara’s orders or her own glares she didn’t know or care.

The League did not exist in this one lone universe. She was a scientist, studying and marveling the stars and planets for their beauty. In this world, she never met Sara.

Nyssa looked down at her hands which had numerous half formed and faded scars, her body’s compromise. That’s what she was now, an amalgamation cobbled together from various lifetimes, crudely stitched together by the waters of a Pit. Her assassin self may have destroyed all of the ones in her universe, but here they were all still very present and just as dangerous. She made fists, relishing the feeling of blunt, broken nails digging into her palms.

“Hey, how are ya doing?”

Nyssa doesn’t turn to the voice, though she could feel her tired heart beat just a little faster. This world’s Nyssa and many others never knew Sara, but countless more knew and loved her. Some were even able to hold her close and call her-

Nyssa dug her nails deeper into her palms, relishing the anchoring pain. In this world she never met Sara. “I am fine. Is there something you need, Sara?”

She can tell the other woman was hurt by her abruptness but she couldn’t help it. Nyssa was not the assassin (or lawyer, or barista, or doctor, or any of the other countless lifetimes) and she would never be again. The Crisis and Pit’s waters saw to that.

Sara scratched her head, looking sheepishly at the other woman. “Just-Where do you want to go? I can drop you anywhere and any time.”

Nyssa stood tall, taking one last look at the spinning blue and green planet beneath her. This world’s Nyssa would have loved the view. “Take me back to my...apartment.”

-

Back at the apartment, Nyssa absentmindedly noted what was the same and different about this particular world’s set up compared to those in her various memories. She faintly smiled at the stuff animal of a yellow bird on a seat. Her abandoned notes on a new star laid on a table and she supposed she should just continue her work as best as she could even with the countless memories in her brain now. She would survive regardless. The ones who didn’t make it deserved that much.

With her back turned to the other woman, she spoke coldly. “You can leave now, and return to your time ship. I no longer require your help.”

“Nyssa-”

Nyssa gritted her teeth, refusing to acknowledge how her cobbled together heart beat so quickly, screaming for her to stop talking, to fight back. But she was so tired and she already lost. Every time she had some small measure of happiness, it was just as quickly snatched away from her. Perhaps it was best for her to just fade away in this world. “I am not her, Sara. You salvaged a ghost.”

“No.”

Nyssa turned sharply to glare at the other woman. “No?”

Sara took a step forward. “I abandoned you once, at your request. I am not doing that again.”

Nyssa rolled her eyes, digging her nails into her palm. “She’s dead, Sara.”

“No, you’re here, standing in front of me.”

Nyssa shook her head, unable to look at Sara any longer. “What’s standing in front of you is just a broken vessel that’s full of fragments of who we - I used to be. Nothing more. Besides, you already have a beloved. Go back to her and live your life, Sara. The league doesn’t exist in this life and I am merely an astronomer, a safe profession. There will be no assassins, bounty hunters, or others with murderous grudges against me here. I might even die of old age with all my limbs intact.”

Sara flinched at the reminder of her own obligations, which gave Nyssa a slim measure of satisfaction mixed with pain. The dark haired woman unconsciously felt her right forearm to make sure it was still there. When the blonde made didn’t make a sound, Nyssa nodded in resignation and slowly walked to the bedroom, ignoring how this feels like a final end of something.

When she heard the front door mercifully open and close, Nyssa finally allowed herself to mourn the lifetimes lost and the maybes that never will be anymore.

- 

Her colleagues at work gave her a wide berth after noting the haunted look in her eyes and the numerous scars. Her cover story was a very bad car accident and Nyssa had no desire to speak with them anyway. 

Her work comforted her as she tracked and analyzed the new data coming from various satellites. They kept her busy and her hands occupied. Sometimes she forgot she had both arms in this lifetime and used one or the other exclusively until she remembered. She could never remember which hand was suppose to be the dominant one.

After the first month of uneasy peace, Nyssa felt restless despite her daily basic workouts. The need to move, to fight, to do something gnawed at body until she finally found herself grabbing a knife and slicing the air with it. Decades of muscle memories of numerous katas flowed, helping guide her body’s through the movements until she dropped to the floor, breathless and exhausted, knife still in hand. She leaned back against the wall, her grip tightening around the handle of the knife.

Against her better judgement, she found herself purchasing a bow and arrow set. The set sat in the corner of her apartment for the better part of a month until she finally caved and took them reluctantly to a public archery range in a city park. Nyssa stood nervously in line, waiting for her turn, her palms becoming sweaty. Finally, when a spot opened she moved her gear to the shooting line. Just like with the knife, memories of lifetimes guided her body to the proper form. When she nocked and released her first arrow, Nyssa felt like she could finally breathe. With each released arrow, she felt another part slide of herself into a more fitting location. The feeling of a bow in her hand, the familiar and yet unfamiliar twinge in her shoulders, her mind quieting with the repetition of the motion, it almost made up for the fact that her arrows never quite found the center of the target.

For a time, the knives, bow, and arrows help to make her feel just a little like before but she found herself losing track of time as memories would haunt her. Everywhere she looked she saw ghosts from multiple lifetimes and the nights were the worst where she was reminded how just how alone she was in this new world. Her dreams remained fragmented of various memories mashed together and she often awoke unsure of who or where she was.

One evening, she noted someone was following her. Exasperated, she turned around to face her stalker. “You can come out now, Sara.”

The blonde sheepishly appeared from behind a corner. “Hi.”

Nyssa crossed her arms, frowning at the other woman, trying to stop her traitorous heart from beating so quickly. “What do you want?”

Sara nervously looked around the streets as she said, “Can we do this back at your place?”

“Fine.”

-

Once inside and doors locked, Nyssa turned to face the other woman, crossing her arms. “What do you want, Sara?”

Sara’s eyes lingered on the bow and arrow set in the corner before turning back to Nyssa. “I broke it off with Ava.”

Nyssa dug her nails into her arm as she willed her face to show no emotion. She had not expected that and didn’t know what to say.

Sara continued after noting Nyssa’s silence. “You don’t know how fucking terrified I was when I received that call, Nyssa. No one calls that number without a damn good reason and when Gideon tracked it down? Shit, I dropped everything to get there and we almost didn’t make it, your body was already a mess. It was like something out of the Thing.”

Sara began pacing, words tumbling out. “You know how I feel about the Pits but I was watching you die a horrible agonizing death on that table and there wasn’t a single fucking thing I can do. And then I thought of the Pits. If it can raise the dead, maybe it can keep you stable while we figured something out.”

She stopped and looked at Nyssa again. “At the Pits, you don’t know how relieved I was when the water seemed to keep up better than Gideon with your merger. You stopped screaming. I don’t know how it worked, and I frankly don’t give a shit but-”

She slowly took Nyssa’s heavily scarred hands into her own. “I realized that I’ve been an idiot. Nothing and I do mean nothing can compare to what we have. And I’m gonna spend the rest of my life making up for abandoning you all this time. I shouldn’t have ever left in the first place. Even if you only see me as a friend now or never forgive me.”

Nyssa swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. She pulled her hands out of Sara’s loose grip. Everything she always wanted to hear but it almost felt a little too late. She was no longer her. She fisted her hands and turned around, unwilling to look any further at her heart’s desire. “There’s nothing to forgive, Sara. As I said earlier, I don’t require your help any longer and you can leave. There’s nothing for you here.“

“Bullshit.”

Nyssa stiffened when she felt arms wrapped around her from behind in a loose hold. “You’re still her, Nyssa. You’re still here. Don’t think I don’t see that well used bow and arrow set. Or that bird stuff animal. Or how you organized your papers with precision because you’re OCD about that type of stuff.”

Nyssa couldn’t help a watery chuckle at the last point.

“I know I failed you before but I’ll be damned if I let this go without even trying at all. That’s not us, Nyssa. If this doesn’t work out, than I’ll leave you be but aren’t we worth a chance?”

Nyssa couldn’t answer. Instead, she squeezed Sara’s hand.

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #238

Tues May 05 2020 [02:04 AM] Wack'd: Have some Wolverine publicity

[02:05 AM] maxwellelvis: It BEGINS [02:06 AM] maxwellelvis: THERE's the John Byrne we know and... sigh because the guy who comes up with great covers like these is still the guy who sabotaged Jean Grey's spinoff attempt. [02:06 AM] Wack'd: John Bryne: fun dude but still a friggin dude [02:07 AM] Wack'd: So here we go. The secret story of Frankie Raye [02:08 AM] Wack'd: Turns out this is naturally what she looks like naked, plus a spiffy pair of elbow-length gold gloves

[02:08 AM] Bocaj: He didn't notice the gold gloves at any point? [02:08 AM] Wack'd: All this stuff just...vanishes when she puts clothes on [02:08 AM] Wack'd: Yeah no Johnny is like "I've seen you in a bikini" and she puts her robe back on and the gold clothes vanish [02:09 AM] Bocaj: "My terrible secret is that I'm a never nude" [02:09 AM] Bocaj: "There are dozens of us. Dozens" [02:09 AM] Wack'd: I understood that reference [02:09 AM] Wack'd: So anyway Frankie has been somehow psychologically conditioned to never notice that a superhero outfit appears on her whenever she's naked [02:10 AM] Wack'd: As well as not to think too hard about the fact that she has no memories before age 14 [02:10 AM] Bocaj: Uh. [02:10 AM] Bocaj: Well y'know what fair enough. I try not to think about that stretch of time either [02:11 AM] Wack'd: Her earliest memory is waking up in a dingy warehouse under an old labcoat [02:11 AM] Wack'd: She lived alone in a deserted apartment and got checks for a thousand bucks in the mail every week [02:11 AM] Wack'd: And was psychologically conditioned not to think about how off-spec that was for a teenager as well [02:12 AM] Wack'd: A lot of nonsense here resting on, essentially, a Somebody Else's Problem Field [02:12 AM] Wack'd: Whoever set all this up probably would've had a lot easier of a time if they just...gave her a normal life? [02:12 AM] Bocaj: I feel that however this explains her fear of fire from earlier on, this cannot have been what the original plan was even a little [02:13 AM] Wack'd: Anyway somehow meeting Johnny started to make the conditioning decay [02:13 AM] Wack'd: She freaked out when Johnny flamed on because it made her think too hard about things, but she was attracted to him in part because of that [02:14 AM] Bocaj: uh [02:14 AM] Wack'd: Anyway Johnny pushes her to explore this whole ordeal further, because she feels like the dam is finally about to break [02:14 AM] Bocaj: I have a dumb thought [02:14 AM] Wack'd: And break it does

[02:14 AM] Bocaj: She was completely naked in that- HOLY BEANS [02:15 AM] Bocaj: she was completely naked in that scene where she had the breakdown in that other issue and she didn't get the gold booties there [02:15 AM] Wack'd: She didn't but also because up until that point she was Somebody Else's Probemed into not seeing them, remember? [02:15 AM] Wack'd: And so we the audience didn't either [02:16 AM] maxwellelvis: Like the clown graffiti all over John's house [02:16 AM] Wack'd: Johnny uses his fire absorption powers to keep the building from burning down and gives chase [02:18 AM] Wack'd: He catches up to Frankie and gives her a crash course in steering and pacing herself before she and her new ecstasy for life burns down New York [02:18 AM] Wack'd: And she explains Frankie Backstory 2.0 [02:19 AM] Wack'd: She was raised by a simple repairman, a good man, who suddenly lost his friggin composure when the Fantastic Four arrived [02:19 AM] Wack'd: Ranting about how dare Johnny call himself the Human Torch, he dragged her to an old warehouse and began raving about old experiments [02:20 AM] Wack'd: Frankie humors him for a bit but while carrying an old oil drum it bursts into flames, leaving her miraculously unharmed [02:20 AM] Bocaj: Simple repairman has a point. Kind of rude, Johnny [02:20 AM] Bocaj: Jim was a war hero, ya dink [02:21 AM] Wack'd: And then dear old stepdad hypnotized her and abandoned her [02:21 AM] Bocaj: 😐 [02:22 AM] Wack'd: A year later a package arrived with a tape recorder and a gold costume. The tape recorder hypnotized her into putting on the costume and then erased her memories [02:22 AM] maxwellelvis: What a drip [02:22 AM] Wack'd: Anyway from all this Johnny deduces her stepdad was Phineas Horton [02:22 AM] Wack'd: But you guys already figured that out, I bet [02:23 AM] maxwellelvis: I forgot who he was. [02:23 AM] Wack'd: Jim Hammond's dad [02:23 AM] maxwellelvis: Oh [02:24 AM] Wack'd: Anyway Johnny decides to become her mentor and, after she tries to fly as high as possible and runs into that pesky atmosphere problem, takes her back to the Baxter to have Reed run some tests and figure out what her limits are [02:24 AM] Bocaj: I'm for once not sad that Ultron killed him after forcing him to turn the original human torch into the Vision [02:25 AM] Bocaj: Until Byrne retcons that to not be the case because dude loves him some jim hammond [02:26 AM] Wack'd: Anyway I misremembered what Frankie's deal was. I assumed android [02:26 AM] Wack'd: But Reed thinks that whatever was in that fateful oil drum was some sort of superscience chemical that mutated her [02:26 AM] Wack'd: Not sure what the point of her being a nevernude was [02:27 AM] Wack'd: Or why Phineas Horton brainwashed his fourteen year old daughter into wearing a strapless bathing suit at all times [02:28 AM] maxwellelvis: The guy labeled Jim a renegade when he showed the first signs of not being completely under his command [02:28 AM] Wack'd: It sure is a good thing this teenager with no parental guidance never did anything where that bathing suit might've become a problem! [02:28 AM] maxwellelvis: guy's a drip [02:29 AM] Wack'd: Reed has proven his hypothesis that biological sex determines how flame powers work I guess??!?!?

[02:29 AM] Wack'd: What sort of cis nonsense is this [02:30 AM] maxwellelvis: Johnny speaks for us all [02:30 AM] Wack'd: What all that means is "after a period of suitable training, we may be calling our friends at Marvel Comics and telling them to start publishing the Fantastic Five!" [02:31 AM] Bocaj: This is a thing that marvel does sometimes [02:31 AM] Wack'd: Good news for all those Spider-Girl fans I guess [02:31 AM] Bocaj: They've decided that Laura Kinney's foot claw is what girl wolverines be like [02:31 AM] Wack'd: *sigh* [02:33 AM] Bocaj: I'll say that Spider-Girl did it better by not saying, as far as I recall, that the difference was because man vs woman. [02:34 AM] Wack'd: Okay so we have another story in this issue [02:34 AM] Wack'd: Well, two, kind of [02:35 AM] Wack'd: First a brief interlude in which it is established at some point the Four will be going to the tiny town of Benson, Arizona to investigate cases of people being "frightened to death" [02:36 AM] maxwellelvis: @Wack'd My primary suspect is this man [02:37 AM] Bocaj: Put those tingles away [02:37 AM] Wack'd: Here's a Sue pinup which I'm mostly crossposting to see if I can wrangle a coherent set of interests out of her bookshelf

[02:38 AM] Wack'd: Pogo's on there. Sue has good taste in comics [02:38 AM] Bocaj: I was about to say [02:38 AM] Wack'd: And now on to our second feature [02:38 AM] maxwellelvis: She's got a copy of Shogun in there [02:39 AM] maxwellelvis: Dangerous Visions, a sci-fi anthology [02:39 AM] Wack'd: Meet Crow T. Rob--I mean, HERBIE 2.0

[02:40 AM] maxwellelvis: "You listen to me, 'Mr. Fantastic', you are NOT my real father!" [02:40 AM] Wack'd: "I want to decide who lives and who dies!" "So long as Franklin is in the 'lives' category I'm strangely okay with that" [02:41 AM] maxwellelvis: "Hey, Franklin, the secret word for today is 'booger'! Booger booger booger booger-AAAUGH!" [02:41 AM] Wack'd: Anyway this is not the only surprise Reed has in store today! [02:42 AM] Wack'd: He also has A Cure for Being the Thing Number Fucktillion [02:42 AM] Bocaj: Panel 2 Franklin does not look like a child [02:42 AM] Wack'd: He looks like a 1950s Western bit player [02:43 AM] maxwellelvis: "Oh great, another cure! How does this one work, and where can I hide when it backfires?" [02:43 AM] Wack'd: Ben is skeptical but as Reed points out science is always marching on [02:44 AM] Wack'd: He has more data than he's ever had [02:44 AM] Wack'd: Ben you've never asked her that before because it's literally never come up before. Fuck she's dated you while you were cured! Remember when you were riding around in that robot suit?

[02:45 AM] Wack'd: Anyway [02:45 AM] Wack'd: The machine blows up [02:46 AM] Wack'd: Welp

[02:47 AM] Bocaj: Could be worse [02:47 AM] Bocaj: At least its not pinecone grimm [02:47 AM] maxwellelvis: Oh that's coming [02:47 AM] Wack'd: Could be covered in bees. That'd be pretty bad [02:47 AM] maxwellelvis: Not for Ben it wouldn't. [02:47 AM] maxwellelvis: Unless they flew into his mouth. [02:47 AM] Bocaj: "Hahah sting you fuckers" [02:48 AM] Bocaj: "This time it is permanent!" Reed shut up [02:48 AM] Wack'd: Anyway this sure is weird nostalgia baiting [02:49 AM] Wack'd: Folks have done plenty of Lee/Kirby throwback stuff but was anyone nostalgic for this, like, at all [02:50 AM] Wack'd: Also like. C'mon Bryne, integrate your story developments naturally. You shouldn't need an entire issue where all that happens is status quo changes [02:50 AM] maxwellelvis: @Bocaj You might know, had Byrne ever written a comic book before his FF run? [02:51 AM] Wack'd: I guess Frankie was integrated a little naturally (even if she went from recent love interest to team member in no time flat) but the Ben is fairly hamfisted [02:51 AM] Wack'd: You can just check Marvel Wiki [02:51 AM] Bocaj: He co-plotted with Claremont I know [02:51 AM] Bocaj: And Claremont was big on the idea of co-plotting. [02:51 AM] maxwellelvis: But this would be his first, like, his first time flying solo? [02:52 AM] Wack'd: Dude has a lot of X-Men credits and some Captain Americas [02:52 AM] Bocaj: His first writing credit was on Iron Fist apparently [02:52 AM] Bocaj: at Marvel [02:54 AM] Bocaj: But from a skim of wikipedia fantastic four was his first extended solo writing thing