#i always forget to tag to continue the game im sorry my brain is just AHH | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ray-ray-writings · 4 years ago

Note

UMM THIS

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMe24dvmM/

Im sorry I know you are packed and busy but can I make a request based on that video?? BECAUSE HOT DAM JUST WILBUR ENTERING LIKE

‘WHAT IS THIS I HEARD ABOUT HURTING Y/N AND TOMMY ‘

LOOK AT THAT VIDEO LOOK AT IT AND TELL ME YOU ARENT SIMPING TO THAT MAN

I simply cannot tell you that because it would be untrue because I am SIMPING so hard…. Also this was way longer and had a lot more plot than I originally planned so…. There’s that lol. Hope you enjoy. (P.S. Because it’s so long, this is going to be the only post tonight, my brain is a bit fried rn lol. Have a great night everyone!)

Warnings: Mentions of very quickly losing a lot of weight, it’s brief but it’s there. As well as, manipulation from Dream. At one point the reader is like “wow it’s been three days since you hit me… Thanks Dream!” And a few swear words here and there.

Before Wilbur died, you and Wilbur were married. It absolutely broke your heart to watch the love of your life lose his mind (and then his life) for the nation that you and he created to raise and protect your boys in. But you stood by his side until the very end. You held his hand as he died and clutched his body with Phil once it was over. Ghostbur gave you somewhat of a shock. Because you’re husband was back, and he remembered you. He was the man you had married. The person he was before the presidency, before the war, before L’Manberg… You’re Wilbur was back. But you were still sad. You couldn’t hug him or kiss him like you were able to and although he seemed to be right in front of you, it felt like he couldn’t be farther away. Ghostbur can see this and decides that if he can, he really wants to try to come back to life. He tells his father and older brother about this and so they begin planning and researching. In doing this, they kind of accidentally turn a blind eye to what is happening to you and Tommy.

While those three are figuring out how to bring Wilbur back from the dead, you and Tommy are being harassed by Dream. Something else you lost when you lost Wilbur was protection from Dream. For some reason, Dream was always afraid of Wilbur. Perhaps it was his ability to always stand up for what he wanted and fight for the things he loves… Or perhaps it was because he was Techno’s brother. Doesn’t matter. Point is when you lost Wilbur you lost the protection from Dream. Dream threatens you and Tommy, trying to provoke Tommy and trick him into doing stuff so that Dream could get him in trouble and one day it finally works. Dream tells Tommy where George’s vacation house is because he knows that Tommy cannot resist checking a place out and looking through other people’s stuff. So Tommy drags Ranboo over there and while they’re there they accidentally knock over a lantern and burn some of the house and some of the chests. On the other side of the server, Dream is in your home, poking fun at you for losing your husband and telling you that it was partially your fault and just stuff like that. You didn’t react. You never could when talking to Dream. But his words stung and slashed deep, and he knew it. Finally after a while of this, Tommy comes bursting through your front door, out of breath and seemingly panicked. “What’s the matter?” You ask softly, leaving your kitchen and going to comfort your boy. Tommy is about to spill everything but when he looks up he sees Dream and immediately swallows his words. “We were playing tag… That’s all… Tag” he says. You absolutely do not believe him but you catch his gaze and know that whatever he’s done he cannot say it in front of Dream. So you decide you’ll just have to wait…. You don’t have to wait long.

“You burnt down George’s vacation home?” Dream’s deadly tone sounds from the kitchen. Your eyes widen and scan Tommy’s face and the look that overtakes him, you know it’s true. “I did not burn it down… I knocked over a lantern and a small fire broke out… I tried to repair everything, it’s fine.” Tommy insists. But Dream seems too pissed to listen to reason. “Come with me” he hisses, marching forward and snatching Tommy’s wrist tightly and marching out of the house. A small whimper left Tommy’s lips as he was pulled causing you to fly into a rage. “Let go of him!” you demand, chasing after them. Dream doesn’t listen and so you reach out and shove his shoulder causing him to stumble, let go of Tommy’s wrist and whip around to face you too. A chilling smile rests on his face, “Oh you just messed up big time.” Before you can react, he reaches out, grabs your wrist, grabs Tommy’s again and continues on down the Prime Path. You’d try to fight it but the grip on your wrist was just too strong. Dream pulls you to Tubbo and immediately jumps on the boy. He explains what happened as well as says that you assaulted him and that he wants you two exiled from L’Manberg or there will be hell to pay. Dream tells Tubbo he will start a war and will kill everyone and everything if his orders are not followed. You can tell Tubbo really doesn’t want to, but it’s something he has to do. Tubbo lets out a small sigh and nod, “Okay Dream. You win.” He murmurs, not looking at Tommy’s betrayed face. “Excellent choice, Mr. President,” the man spits out. “Tubbo” Tommy utters broken heartedly, staring at his best friend, silently begging him to say sike… It never comes. “Dream please escort Tommy and Y/N out of my country.” “With pleasure” You wrist is seized again and you’re being dragged away from your home.

After you three get out of the SMP, Dream lets go of your wrists and lets you walk for yourself. You approach Tommy and wrap a comforting arm around him. “It’s going to be okay Tommy. Everything is going to be okay.” You comfort the young boy who sighs and nods, “I just can’t believe that he would throw me under the bus like that,” Tommy murmurs. “I know kiddo. I know.” You follow Dream for a very long time until he is satisfied that you are far enough away from the rest of the SMP. “Okay, we stop here… Put your stuff in this hole,” Dream commands, digging a small hole for the two of you to throw your stuff in. You let out a scoff and roll your eyes, “No way. You’ve already forced us into exile. There’s no way we’re giving you our stuff.” Dream’s face flushed a bright red before he lurched forward and grabbed you. Putting in a headlock to where you’re back was pressed against his chest, his arm around your throat while he has a crossbow to your head. “I’ve had enough of you fucking attitude Y/N. You have no power here. I do. I’m in charge and when I say to do something, you do it. If I ask you to jump, the only thing you may ask after that is “How high?” Do you understand?” You don’t speak, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of obedience. But then the tip of the arrow digs into the side of your head causing you to let out a small pained whimper, “I said, do you understand?” he demands again. “Yes” you finally whimper out. He moves the crossbow away from your skull and lets you go and shoves you forward, stumbling into Tommy who catches you and stabilizes you. “Put your stuff in the hole… Now” he growls, not in the mood for any more ‘games’. You and Tommy share a look and then a sigh and slowly put your things in the hole like he demanded. And you could only watch as he placed TNT above it and blew up everything. All of your items that you had worked hard for… Gone in a moment. Dream leaves with a cackle. You and Tommy are just there. Shocked. Finally, after a few moments, you’re able to shake yourself out of it. “Okay… Let’s get started, there’s no time to waste.” Tommy just looks at you and then he sighs and nods. “Let’s do it then.” The two of you spend the rest of the day gathering materials and building yourself a little shelter. You were all alone… At least you were all alone with your brother.

As we all know, Dream comes back almost every day. He comes back, blows up your stuff and leaves. The first time he came back you tried to stop him… It didn’t go well. “Dream, please he just-“ He cut off your words with a harsh slap across the face. It sends you flying and leaves your head spinning. “Haven’t you learned yet? Stuff. Hole. Now.” And you have no choice but to obey. You watch with a broken heart as Tommy slowly begins to actually trust Dream and believe him when he says that no one misses him. You do your best to be there for him and convince him that it’s not true but as days go by and no one, not even your Ghostbur, you can’t help but slowly believe that they’ve forgotten about you two. As time goes on, it seems that you and Tommy fade. You lose a lot of weight. Your food source is scarce and you have to do a lot of work because you’re restarting every. single. day. You get hurt a lot easier and it takes a lot more time to recover. Every once in a while, Dream will physically hurt you. Whether it a slap or a small sword slash, he does it just to make sure you still remember who’s in charge. You just learn to take it and deal with it. It hurts, but at least it’s you and not Tommy. Ranboo visits you once and is horrified at what he sees. He’s worried about you, but knows he can do basically nothing to help you. He makes a mental note to tell someone about it back in the SMP…. And even though he has memory problems, this is one thing he cannot forget.

On the other side of the SMP, Philza, Techno, and Ghostbur have done it. They’ve cracked it. They have figured out how to bring Ghostbur back to life and to bring back Wilbur. The three make the plan and tell no one, especially not you. (Yeah…. They don’t even realize that you and Tommy aren’t around rn lol) They want to make sure this works before they tell anyone. So they do all the prep and the work and then they perform the ritual. They perform it in a cave somewhere just a little bit away from Techno’s house so that absolutely no one would know where they are or what they were doing. They begin just as nightfalls. Carefully completely each step and making sure they’re doing everything just right, knowing if they fuck up one small thing it’s over and they won’t be able to get Wilbur back. The three complete the final step and wait…. Nothing happens. “Fuck!” Techno curses, his eyes falling to the book, “We did everything right! It should have worked!” “Techno calm down, we’re all upset but at least we-” Philza doesn’t get to finish. All of the sudden a bright light floods the room. The light? It’s coming from Ghostbur. “Uhh guys?” the ghost questions in fear as he is levitated off the ground. Philza and Techno cannot look at him for fear of going blind. Ghostbur is unsure of what is happening but then the shredding pain fills his body. A scream rips from his throat as his whole form begins to physicalize. The skin begins to become real as the bones, blood, organs, and all other internal body parts forms. All memories that Ghostbur had forgotten flood Wilbur’s mind as his whole life flashes before his eyes, reminding him of everything. It only lasts a few moments more before the light fades and Wilbur is dropped from the air. His body hits the ground with an extremely harsh thump. He feels the impact and lets out a groan. His whole body is sore… But he’s there. He’s real and most importantly he’s alive. “Wilbur?” Philza asks hesitantly. Wilbur lets out another groan. The two standing men share a look before rushing to his side. They kneel beside him and gently reach out. Don’t tell anyone but tears threaten to fall from both men’s eyes, Philza and Techno’s, as their hands actually are able to touch Wilbur and they don’t go through him as if he were a ghost. They gently help him from his side to laying on his back. At the movement, Wilbur opens his eyes and is met with the tear laced ones of two of his family members. “Hey guys” he manages to croak out, “how’s it going” “Wilbur” Philza breaks, a tear streaming down his cheek before he lurches forward and wraps the boy into a warm hug. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” the older man sobs to his son. “Shhhh,” Wilbur calms his father, “It’s okay Dadza. I wanted it. You did what you had to do. It’s okay.” To the two’s surprise’s Techno’s buff arms wrap around the two and join in the hug. “It’s uhhh… it’s good to see you Wilbur” Techno grumbles, not really liking the emotion that had built up in his chest. Wilbur let out a soft laugh, “Good to see you too Tech.”

The sweet moment is broken by someone calling Techno’s name a little ways away from the cave. At first, they elect to ignore it, but then the voice calls again, this time for Philza and they can tell now that whoever it is, is panicking. So the two help Wilbur up and gently help him out of the cave. They look out over the snow and find Ranboo there, standing on Techno’s front porch. “Ranboo!” Techno calls out causing the tall boy to turn around and then run at them. “Techno! Phil!.... Is that Wilbur? Like actual real Wilbur? He’s alive?” Ranboo asks, his tone still slightly panicked. “Yes Ranboo… It’s a long story but to sum it up we managed to bring Wilbur back to life… Now why are you here and why are you panicked.” Ranboo’s eyes shift back to Wilbur and gulps, “I knew you weren’t going to like this… But now you’re really not going to like this… Dream is hurting Y/N and Tommy…” All three, especially Wilbur, snap to attention at that. “What?” Wilbur asks harshly. Ranboo gulps and nods before diving into his story. He tells them about your exile and how Dream has been treating you two, blowing up your stuff and even physically harming Y/N. He tells them that Dream has the two convinced that nobody cares about them anymore. The three go stiff at that. Have they all been so focused they really missed all of this? Well time to go right some wrongs. It is almost as if all ache and tiredness left Wilbur’s body at the thought of his spouse being hurt, especially at the hands of Dream. He straightens up and takes a few steps toward Ranboo, “Take them to us” he speaks, his tone pretty damn dark. Ranboo nods and quickly turns around and leads the three men back to the exile spot.

Back in exile, you and Tommy built a house… Logsted! It wasn’t exactly your taste, but it made Tommy happy so you lived in it together. You had woken up, actually feeling kind of good. The bruises and nicks on your face had slowly begun to heal and Dream hadn’t hit you in the past three days. You had a nice dinner last night, you and Tommy had found some chickens and made a small chicken farm a little ways away from the house so that way Dream couldn’t easily find it, but point is you had chicken for dinner… that’s what I was getting at… I’ll move on. So long story short, you were feeling good. The sun had risen and so Tommy and you were just kind of waiting for Dream to show up so you could get the daily blowing up over with. And like clockwork, he shows up, but for some reason he’s angry. For the past couple days he’d actually be pleasant to be around, greeting you asking you how you’ve been. But today was different. He slammed the door open and begins digging a hole in the middle of Logstedshire… That’s really weird. He was going to blow up the stuff inside the house? No way. But he points to the hole and you know he wants you to dump your items in. You move to the hole but don’t throw your stuff in, “Inside the house? Can we please go outside, I don’t want to ruin our hard work” wrong thing to say. A growl escapes Dream’s lips as he reaches forward and slaps you hard across the face, harder than he’s ever slapped you. It is enough to make you dizzy, but you don’t even have time to recover because his hand is in your hair, yanking it back forcing you to look at him. “You stupid bitch. You would think that after all this time, you would have learned by now… I mean you were doing so so well. But it just seems that you never learn your lesson… Guess I’ll have to teach you yet again.” And he pulls out his sword and points it at your stomach, ready to slice you again. Just as he’s about to harm you, the door swings open again and someone stumbles in. They lean against the doorframe with their hand grabbing the top of the frame. You can hear Tommy let out a gasp and you watch Dream’s eyes widen in fear. “So Dream,” an all too familiar voice calls, “What’s this about hurting Y/N and Tommy now?” And then you’re let go by Dream. You crash to the ground, fall flat on your ass, but you manage to scramble to a stand as you stare at the door frame in complete... Shock? Amazement? Fear? You can’t tell. You’re husband, Wilbur, is standing there in the flesh. Literally in the flesh. He’s alive again and you cannot believe it. “Wilbur” Dream stutters out, “You’re alive? How-” “That doesn’t matter, Dream. What matters is the fact that you’ve been hurting Y/N and Tommy… We can’t have that. So now what is going to happen is I’m going to take my family back to L’Manberg and you are never going to hurt them again,” Wilbur announces, moving ever so slightly further into the room. Seeming to have recovered just a bit from shock, Dream actually retorts, “Or what?”. Two more people enter the house and it causes Dream to blanch even further. “I think you know what… now run along.” Not wanting to risk it, Dream takes off running.

Once you’re sure he’s gone, you allow yourself to speak. “Wilbur?” You whisper out, still not sure if this is real or if you’re dreaming. Wilbur’s attention shifts to you and he completely soften. “Hello,” he greets with a soft smile on his face, taking a few steps toward you, “Have you missed me?” Deciding you don’t care if he’s real or not, you rush forward and throw yourself into his arms. You, like Philza and Techno, almost cry at the feeling of your body’s connecting. He’s here. He’s real. And he’s alive. His arms wrap around you and hold you to him so tightly, you almost can’t breathe. But you don’t care. You’re hugging your husband. You’re actually hugging your husband. “I missed you so much, Wilby. I mean we had Ghostbur but it wasn’t the same. I missed you,” you mumble into his shoulders, the tears slowly falling out of your eyes. His hand comes up and slowly pets your head, in silent comfort and reassurance.

After a few minutes you pull away slightly, “How are you-” You’re cut off by his lips pressing against your and you cannot help but melt. It has been months since his passing and this was just the absolute best feeling in the world. You kiss back with so much passion it makes your head spin, this time in a good way. It’s also probably the only time ever his brother’s didn’t fake vomit at the sight of you kissing. You only pull back to catch a breath, but right as you breathe in, Wilbur’s lips are back on yours. The process repeats a few times, before you manage to breathe out a “Will,” causing him to pull back, but leaving his forehead resting on yours and his lips just hovering above yours. “Yes my love,” he mumbles to you. “Can we go home please” you ask, not wanting to be here at Logstedshire any longer. He gives you a warn grin, leaning the inch forward and kissing you once more before giving his answer. “Of course my love. Let’s get out of here.”

#mcyt #mcyt imagine #mcyt x reader #mcyt drabble #wilbur soot #wilbur soot imagine #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot drabble #philza #technoblade #tommyinnit #ranboo #dream #tubbo #ray responds #our beloved alex8o

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jungxk · 4 years ago

Text

just one (viii)

summary: the only guy on campus who’s track record trumped that of your best friend’s - park jimin - was jeon jungkook. not that that was a problem…until he set his sights on you.

notes: first of all i wanna thank the people who supported me and encouraged me through one of the worst writers blocks of my life. all the messages and comments are the reason why i finally managed to post this. special thanks to @whippedforkook for helping me with the monstrous tagging process as well as giving me so much praise. and also @lonelyending for cheering me on for a literal YEAR bc thats how long i cried over this fic! this story is so special to me. we’re in the home stretch now x

warnings: mentions of illegal drug use and distribution, swearing, brief smut.

genre: drama, romance, humour, college!au

wordcount: 8k

tagging: @cutechim @benz-biarritz @gyukult @bangulin @eatersanonymous @alyssa1926 @skivv1es @a-sucker-for-them-sappy-shit @moonights @jeymuffins @juuneaux @catsukiii @andreaisaac @whatheydontunderstand @sreveles @noruls619 @henryharios @just-a-fuxked-up-kid @befriendswithj @btsbesharam @poemsandpunani @taelha @misosoup-forthesoul @jikooksmut @heart-eyedmf @the-piano-woman @angrysunshine @chaoticpaperfanhoagie @jsungshine @ci-yen @faby-montana @shinypeanutsportshero @jooniestrivia @alucards-s @cynamyngirl @jiminie-angel @myskoova @jkshoneybuns @smokintae @remmykinsff @majinbuwu @jangx2manboongx2 @potatodogs @seul-queen @alpharyth @blenxxxg @plsky @th-singularity @bapbaptothetop @hermiones-enchantment @stomachfilledwithbutterflies @euphorora @supachloe94 @jiminxjimout @ggukkieland @just-another-fic-recs-blog @jalexad

part i // part ii // part iii // part iv // part v // part vi // part vii // part viii // part ix // part x

4 years ago

jimin hated yugyeom.

well, maybe hate was a strong word. he just didn't like talking to him, being around him, hearing his name or interacting with him on any level, social or otherwise. he really tried though, since he was one of jungkook's closest friends and still respectfully referred to him as hyung above all else. and if anything, jimin would always have a soft spot for jungkook, the kid he used to coddle when his own brother wasn't around. but having said that, there wasn't really much basis for not liking yugyeom. it was just a gut feeling jimin couldn't explain, a very subtle callousness about him only jimin could pick up on. for the most part he was just like very other mild mannered boy by day and party animal by night, but jimin still ducks when he sees him enter the library.

"fuck," he hisses under his breath, scooping up his laptop to stride behind a book shelf for good measure. because sometimes, contrary to popular belief, jimin wanted to be alone. he didn't want to make small talk or listen to someone tell him about how well they scored on their last paper or complain about their annoying girlfriend. sometimes jimin wanted to have no thoughts and listen to fleetwood mac as per his human rights. which is why he shoves into the first private study room he sees.

and not an empty one at that. there's a girl inside, sitting cross-legged in her chair at a desk with an array of dried up paint tubes and brushes surrounding open sketchbooks. you don't look annoyed or even that phased, just amused as you give him a once over before going back to painting. "on the run from solji?"

jimin blinks, back still pressed against the door. "huh?" he regards you properly. "i'm sorry, have we met before?"

"not really," you admit with a sheepish smile, which is when jimin suddenly realises that you're...attractive. "solji is in my stats class. you hooked up with her last week at some party and she told me about it."

"oh," jimin takes in your plethora of art supplies. "you don't look like a stem student."

there's a glimmer of something in your eyes, and though you hide it well jimin knows he's struck a nerve. "yeah, i get that a lot."

"it's not solji by the way," jimin clarifies. for some reason. "that i'm hiding from. just a bellend i don't have the energy for right now."

you smile. "it's fine. you don't owe me your life story."

"i do when i'm about to impose on your...study time," jimin peers through the window in the door, wincing when yugyeom enters the hallway. "what would it take for you to let me stay in here for a while?"

you pause for a second. "honestly? just be quiet and leave me alone. is that okay?"

jimin perks up, a weight leaving his chest. "perfect, actually."

[jungkook 11:42pm]: why does it say wings on it

[jungkook 11:42pm] where is it flying

[you: 11:43pm] ffs kook

[you: 11:44pm] im still on the toilet can u just hurry up

[you 11:44pm] grab some tampons too pls

[jungkook 11:46pm] fine what size pussy do u wear

[you 11:46pm] i hate u

[jungkook 11:53pm] ???? ? ? well? ????

[you 11:54pm] REGULAR

jungkook giggles at his phone, already having left the women's sanitary aisle to grab some chocolate. months later and teasing you was still bundles of fun. he knew for a fact that you were sat there with that angry pout on your face, nose crinkled. he had never bought anything like this before, but jungkook had enough brain cells to know that chocolate was another necessity for that time of the month. after grabbing a large hazelnut bar, he pauses beside the oreos before grabbing a packet of those too. just for good measure. he strides to the self checkout - because even he wasn't man enough for the cashier yet - nearly dropping his array of sanitary products and confectionary when somebody calls out his name from behind the queue.

"kook!" the voice is unmistakably yugyeom's, confirmed by the hand that clamps jungkook over the shoulder and swivels him round before he could think about hiding his socially compromising shopping items. it takes a second for yugyeom to notice, doing a double take at the pads atop his small tower of goods. he holds back a laugh, balancing a bottle of gin in one hand while he waves back at some friends to continue. they were clearly making their pit stop before a night out, probably pre's if they still start as late as jungkook remembers. with his hair styled and expensive cologne lingering, jungkook almost forgets he probably looks unrecognisable in his sweats and cotton-fresh hoodie. friday nights weren't for cuddling. still, yugyeom's smile is welcoming and familiar. "got the munchies? and maybe also a uterus?"

"shut up," jungkook grumbles, averting his eyes. he shifts to his other foot uncomfortably. "my friend just needed a favour, that's all."

"uh huh," yugyeom gives him a teasing look. "is this friend the reason why i barely saw you at jin's the other week?"

jungkook blinks back at him. "wait, you were at that party? i had no idea!" a boyish smile breaks over his face. "why didn't you call me? i haven't seen you since-"

"minseok-hyung's new years eve party," yugyeom throws his head back with a laugh. "remember how we ended up on a boat after the ball dropped and-"

"spent all of new years day detained by the coast guard!" jungkook finishes with a mischievous cackle of his own, nearly dropping the tampons in the process. "fuck, that was so much fun! we need to meet up again, i haven't been out with the guys in so long."

"well no wonder," he quips a brow at jungkook's shopping again. "word got out you're a family man but i didn't believe it. until now, that is."

jungkook's smile falls. "what do you mean?"

yugyeom looks at him for a second, confused by jungkook's surprise. yugyeom was never quite as diplomatic as namjoon or yoongi, to put it lightly. and definitely nowhere near as accomodating as jimin. which is why his next words make jungkook's back stiffen. "bro, look at yourself. you got dairy milk in one hand and tampax in the other. on a friday night. the next time i see you i wouldn't be shocked if you had a baby buggy and a mortgage." still, yugyeom throws him an apologetic look. like a mouse caught in a trap. "face it, kook. you're old news."

"what? that's not true," his brows furrow unhappily. "i don't know what you're talking about. it's not like she's my..."

he can't say the word, but it hangs between them like a dead weight.

"yeah, right," the condescending look on yugyeom's face was starting to agitate him. "you totally blanked us at jin's after she showed up. not even just jin's..." he thinks twice about holding his tongue, but as always, decides against it. "i don't know you, jungkook. whoever this new jungkook is. it's been months. you used to hit us up and be independent and spontaneous and wild and now you're just...someone's boyfriend.

"stop fucking saying that," jungkook snaps, all visible signs of friendliness gone.

"why?" a beat. "do you even use a wrap with her anymore?"

jungkook splutters, heat rushing to his ears and hands in a stinging combination of anger and embarrassment. "how is that any of your business? the fuck are you asking me something like that, as if you-"

"thought so," yugyeom looks away from him with a sigh. if anything, yugyeom knew never to overstay his welcome but that clearly backfired tonight. "whatever, jungkook," he looks over his shoulder at him. "guess you're the last one to find out you're officially married."

"you're ridiculous," jungkook scoffs. "all this over condoms? grow up, yugyeom."

"only couples do it raw," yugyeom turns away from him, alcohol in tow as he waves a hand over his shoulder to join his friends like jungkook was nothing but a lost cause. "you would remember that if you still had game."

jungkook stands there, dumbfounded while the group of boys exit the store noisily but he can't hear a thing. the siren that had been itching the back of his mind all this time was suddenly there at full force, right between his eyes. the glaring truth that yugyeom might be right makes his knees buckle. all those rules jungkook once had, all those measures he kept in place to protect his liberty, to prevent this very occurence - where were they? what happened to them? as the sweet and accommodating counterpart to jimin, why had you never complied? though, the blame wasn't on your hands alone. he got complacent, comfortable. lenient. and now without even realising he was here, a scene from a romcom in the middle of the night, with nothing to say for himself but fuck. the realisations wouldn't stop racing, one after another on the conveyer belt of his anxiety.

the photos on his phone; mostly you. time spent, usually with you. the portfolio for his latest photography module also had some resemblance to your interests. charcoal pencils, night drives, orchids. like the ones you always drew on any scrap of paper lying around. now that he thinks about it, he's seen nothing but your orchids for months. and not just that - you wore his clothes sometimes too. his bathroom had your toothbrush, contraceptive pills and coconut shampoo. his closest friends, his hyungs...not one of them was devoid of affection for you. he wasn't even confident that if the choice was presented, they would still pick him over you.

by the time jungkook finishes paying and practically sprints to his truck in a daze, he can hardly keep himself from shaking. he palms the wheel compulsively, he could feel the sweat in his sideburns, hoodie suddenly suffocating him. it smelled of you.

and then, like a final curtain call: was he just your latest fixer-upper project? some good girl wet dream to play out in the wake of your emotionally traumatic past? a slap in the face to seokjin, maybe, and nothing more? when you were done, when he was out of your system, when you knew his taste by heart and had nothing new left to try - would you stay? did you even know how to?

did he?

jungkook starts the engine. he drives to your door, drops your bag of snacks and pads on the porch, and texts you before leaving. he does not go inside.

"you sure you'll be okay with just the boys?"

you scoff at seulgi when she pins you with a worrying look, taking some of her clothes out of her bag to re-fold them just so you had something to do with your hands. jisoo had already left for the long weekend with her family, so there was no one there to fill up the empty space between your awakward reply. you didn't know how to tell the girls that jungkook hadn't contacted you in nearly a month. and even though he was a notable flight risk from the beginning, you couldn't help but feel like there was hostility there. every now and again he'd at least send a nude or have a quick phone call when he was drunk or high at three in the morning, but you hadn't heard a peep from him. you couldn't stand the idea of someone you cared about harbouring comtempt for you, but the fear of reaching out and somehow making the situation worse outweighed it tenfold.

you look up to see seulgi still staring at you with concern. "of course i'll be fine! they're boys, not piranhas."

"at least piranhas contribute our ecosystem. boys just cause problems for the hell of it," seulgi lays a hand on the crown of your head like a berating big sister, swivelling you to look at her in your fit of giggles. the urge to nestle you under blankets like a baby bird made her chest heave, and you could tell. "i'm serious. if jimin tries anything, call me immediately okay?"

"jimin?" you snort. "out of a room full of delinquents, my ex, and taehyung, you're worried about jimin of all people?"

seulgi wrinkles her nose. "god, when you say it like that its like i'm throwing you to the dogs." she pauses. "something's up with jimin. i don't know what it is, but he's...off."

you tilt your head innocently, remembering the brief interaction you had with hobi at seokjin's party. you had been so caught up in jungkook - or lack thereof - you hadn't thought to press him about it afterwards. in truth, jimin remained as...jimin as ever. if he was acting differently you certainly couldn't tell. "you think so?"

"mmm," she leans on the lip of the open suitcase thoughtfully. "but maybe with jungkook there, he'll behave himself."

you gulp, fiddling with his watch on your wrist anxiously. "maybe."

you nearly yelp when you feel a big hand swivel around your waist, bucking into the kitchen counter reflexively. jungkook always did this before rubbing his boner against your ass, but the light scent of citrus and short squeeze lets you know immediately that its taehyung. hoseok, jimin, namjoon and yoongi were still in the living room playing video games, giving taehyung the perfect opening to intercept you. namjoon and yoongi had insisted that you come over to their place after finding out you'd be alone for the weekend, and you had completely refused before taehyung's coaxing. and of course, jimin's persuasive nudging. even though you felt safe and relaxed here, it felt wrong to be in jungkook's friends' place without him. almost like a breaching of an unspoken boundary.

and clearly, taehyung picked up on your discomfort by the way he stared at you so softly. his back was to the sink, his sillhouette particularly long and lean this evening. "you need to lighten up, princess. you keep looking over your shoulder so much it's making me nervous!"

your visibly droop with a sigh. "i'm sorry tae. i've had a lot on my mind lately, and..."

he claps his hands on your shoulders, teeth peeking through his grin. "you're not doing anything illegal by being here without jungkook."

you wince at his name. "have you always been able to read my mind like this?"

"absolutely," taehyung's brown eyes look so rich up close. "you're allowed to have friends that are also his friends, because - and try to stick with me on this - relationships between people are allowed to be independant from the primary circles they met in. mind boggling concept, i know."

you wack him on the chest until he laughs. "stop making fun of my anxious thought processes! its called mental illness, sherlock! i can't help it!"

his nose scrunches cutely, enjoying your first fiery outburst of the day. "whatever. i call it not getting laid for a month and losing critical thinking abilities from it."

you gape at him indignantly while taehyung roars with laughter. "you're such a dickhead," you hiss through gritted teeth, yanking his hair and jabbing your fingers in his sides the way you would with jimin during a tickle fight. "whores have feelings too, taehyung! whores have feelings too!"

you both fall about with laughter, knocking over half the snacks on the counter in the process which only makes the pair of you laugh even more. it's such childish chaos trying to clean up the mess on the tiny kitchen floor that neither of you notice the front door open, or the gust of metaphorical and literal wind that follows. watching taehyung trying to salvage a bag of broken crisps is just so funny that the presence of an another voice in the living room goes unregistered, as do the footsteps leading up the hallway to the kitchen, so you have no time to brace yourself or properly pull yourself together with you see-

"...jungkook."

yours and taehyung's heads snap to the doorway. jungkook stands there with almost complete lack of emotion on his face to the pair of you kneeling in crumbs and napkins. there's a brief pause where the tension in your eye contact alone was so strong that it felt wrong to breathe. but it is shortlived. jungkook tiptoes over you like spilled milk, reaching for a glass of water. you and taehyung lock eyes while the tap runs in the awkward silence. "hey. you okay?"

"um," you're not sure whether to stand up, hug him, look at him, or even face him. "yeah! yeah, i'm fine."

he nods politely. "hyung?"

even taehyung looks visibly uncomfortable. "i'm good."

"cool. see you later," he says, downing the glass impressively fast before leaving the room just as fast as he entered it.

you and taehyung stare at each other again, not understanding why you both feel like kids caught eating cake before dinner. you could feel the sweat pricking at your back from the realisation. jungkook had no idea you'd be here, and given that interaction he'd probably want to leave now. there was always the inkling woven between his radio silence that he was done with you, but you never let yourself take it seriously out of logic. because how could months of passion and tenderness and honesty be undone so irrevocably like that? it didn't make sense. you hadn't changed. you were the same girl he hit on relentlessly and chased against all odds. so what was different now?

"____," taehyung calls your name gently, and it's only then you realise you're already up and trailing after jungkook into the living room. when you walk in he's already putting his shoes on to leave again, barely making eye contact with you while he chats absently to his hyungs so he can look busy. the four boys on the large sofa can only reply wearily, eyes darting between the pair of you like a firework was about to blow to soon. and it was.

you could feel it in your throat, under your breast bone, bubbling up your stomach. "wait, jungkook. um...h-how have you been? i haven't heard from you in-"

"i've been good," he keeps tying and re-tying his laces without looking up. "super busy. you know how it is."

his curtness makes you flinch. this same time last month jungkook used to kiss you senseless before he had both feet in the door. he'd ring the doorbell incessantly like a child and greet you with the biggest, toothiest grin you had ever seen. he'd make fun of your bed head and squeeze your cheeks until you'd snap at him. and now when he looked at you he hated every second of it. your mother had the same look. your eyes start to burn involuntarily. "yeah, i do. how is uni? your final project is due soon, right? what theme did you pick in the end?"

"the one i told you about," he stands up abruptly. "sorry, noona. something came up. i'll see you arou-"

"something came up?" you step closer to him. "something came up the second you saw my face? or did you really just trek all the way to your hyungs' place for a glass of water, jungkook?"

jungkook stiffens, but is determined not to lose face. and it's difficult to do under your big, accusatory eyes and jimin's death stare at his back. the whole room was waiting for his response, so he just shoves his hands in his pockets resolutely. "i needed to see yoongi hyung, but i can come another time."

you fold your arms. "well it's clearly important, and you're here now. so don't let me stop you."

"but you will stop me," jungkook snaps. "that's the problem."

"kook-ah," yoongi warns quietly, but he took one look at your face and knew the damage was done. jimin was already standing up, circling around the back of the sofa towards you. the red lights were all there; your watery eyes, your trembling hands. every breath you took looked difficult for you to complete and only jimin noticed.

"what are you talking about?" you squint. it takes you a second to understand; yoongi's guilty expression, jungkook's indifference. "oh, you're fucking kidding me." your resolve breaks for a second turning away only to glare back at jungkook with so much fire you can hardly stand it. "you're selling again? are you insane, jungkook?"

"see," jungkook's eyes are stony. "i knew you'd get this way."

"what other way am i supposed to get?" his lack of response only infuriates you more. it felt disrespectful. "jungkook, you're not a kid anymore. if you get caught with drugs the consequences are serious! forget the potential jail time, you could get kicked out of university, it would go on your record forever and-"

"stop talking to me like i'm a kid!"

"then stop acting like one!" you hate raising your voice, but it keeps climbing without your approval. "did you think about this for even five minutes? this isn't like just going to juvie like before and being done with it jungkook. your hyungs can't bail you out of everything."

"this is a lot of talk for someone who lapped up those fancy paints without a second thought," jungkook says darkly. his eyes aren't like you remember, his face solemn and near unrecognisable. "or did you think that getting that kind of money overnight is only something that's possible through daddy's credit card?"

dread blooms like a garden inside you. "that's...that's how you bought the paint set?"

"welcome to the real world," he quips. "as if selling overpriced weed to a bunch of pick-me-freshmans is considered a crime against humanity to anyone but you."

"you think that's why i'm yelling at you right now?" your voice was growing hoarse, desperate. "you think that's the problem i have with you being literal drug dealer, jungkook?"

he hates it. the sweltering silence, the judgmental eyes digging into his back, the slow realisation that the tears in your eyes were not at him but for him. jungkook's ears ring enough to make him sway on the spot if his feet weren't planted so firmly on the dingy carpet, this metaphorical ground. he couldn't shake the feeling that his lifestyle was only an issue now because of you, how he never felt a shred of guilt about any of this shit until he met you. and if there was anything that jungkook never responded well to, it was pity. and he could feel it from every person in the room, all people that that once cherished and coddled him until you came along. he swallows, throat dry from the way he couldn't look at you knowing what he was going to say next.

"you're embarrassing yourself, noona. you're not my girlfriend and you never were, so stop acting like it."

cotton. it's very faint, under the layers of conflicting cologne and beer and smoke, but jungkook still smelled of cotton while he spat acid. nobody could speak, even though jungkook never raised his voice let alone a hand to you, it still hit like a slap in the face. it sunk into the walls, your clothes, suddenly every hair on your body felt heavy with it. dirty. the shame came first, the humiliation next. and then the sorrow, the dread, and finally the defeat. you knew the stages well by now, and they were cycling through you like clockwork. how foolish you were, to make the same mistake again. nobody dared to move, everyone but jungkook staring at you in denial and horror. they couldn't believe their eyes when you nod steadily, bowing your head to the floor.

jimin is already slotting himself between you, his jaw tight. "that's enough, kook. just leave already."

"no," you stop him, unnervingly resigned. that single word cuts through all six men with ease. "he's right." you step around jimin, closing the space between you and jungkook. for a brief moment he wonders if you'll actually hit him, but somehow watching you unclasp his watch from your wrist and drop it on the coffee table in front of him is far worse. the sound seems to ring like church bells, definitive and umistakable. "you're right, i'm not your girlfriend. you win jungkook."

they all watch you leave in dismay, listen to the door closing softly behind you. within a second jimin sprints after you, calling your name, leaving everyone else dumbfounded. jungkook's stare could bore a hole into the abandoned watch on the table, still ticking away like nothing changed. like his eyes weren't burning, lightheaded at the realisation that he would never wear a watch again let alone the one he put on you.

to an outsider, you looked like you were coping well considering you just got dumped in front of all your friends. but jimin knew that face. your stony eyes, lips pulled thin as if to seal inside the collapse of a monument. you took the tea he offered, and then his arms, your face finding his chest with ease. muscle memory. his torso was a tad shorter than jungkook's, his heart closer to your mouth as if the steady thumps were asking for a kiss of acknowledgement. every time you close your eyes you could see jungkooks face, hard and unforgiving and nothing like the man you trusted all this time. but it wasn't a new expression; you parents looked at you similarly the last time you saw them. it was the look of someone who had no regrets cutting all ties. and now, jungkook was behind them in a lost list of people who chose to be strangers over loving you.

jimin sighs when you cry into his chest, brushing the back of your head gently. he had been ready for this for months, but he still hated to see you this way. again. it made his bones itch, his skin crawl uncomfortably every time you weeped. the only time he considered violence was when you were crying. but he knew what to do, laying down across the sofa so you could curl up into a ball next him, head on his bicep and face smushed into the crook of his shoulder. you used to cry like this for hours and hours, his arm familiar with the prickle of pins and needles. but it was the only place you felt safe. tucked into jimin's side is where you would always belong, and that truth was more glaringly obvious than ever now.

"lets get something to eat," he offers eventually, hand craddling the crown of your head like a child. jimin's other hand on your hip is warm and heavy when he pats you soothingly. in your episodes, you responded well to touch. "what about thai food?"

"not hungry," you grumble against him.

"we could make something together?" he peers down at your lack of response. "come on, babe. you gotta eat something. you didn't even have breakfast-"

"why am i so stupid?" you whisper, a fresh bout of tears welling up.

jimin rubs your thigh. "it's not your fault."

"yes it is. jungkook gave me plenty of red flags, and i ignored all of them-"

"oh, i meant you being stupid."

you scoff. "cheers."

"what?" jimin cocks a brow when you lift your head to look up at him. he wets his lips and you follow the swipe of his tongue thoughtlessly, distracted enough by his touch and proximity that you take a second to digest his words. "it's not like any of this exactly came as a surprise. you ignored me, remember? wanted to flex your big girl pants."

you pull away from him and sit up, forcibly shutting out the daze that jimin routinely puts you under. "what's wrong with you? can't you be polite and wait for a couple hours before laying into me like a normal person? jesus, jimin."

"so let me get this straight," jimin sits up, watching your back as you sit away from him. "you're mad because i'm not telling you what you want to hear?"

"no," you say, head shaking. "i'm not mad. i'm upset because i came here to be comforted by my friend and you're just making me feel worse."

"what do you want me to say, ____? that i had high hopes from the start?" jimin pushes his hair back, brows now at a sharp incline from frustration. "i told you starting something with jungkook was trouble but you didn't listen. why should i feed your victim complex when all i've done is try to help you?"

"victim complex?" you repeat, standing up slowly. the sudden steadiness of your voice causes jimin to panic.

"not like that. don't take it like that, it's just," he's suddenly before you, his warm hands palming up your arms warmly. "i didn't wanna see you get like this and it happened anyway, is all i'm saying." he sighs when your scowl doesn't let up. "if hobi hyung hadn't have given up so easy, then maybe…maybe this would never have happened. maybe if i had been harsher with him then you would have-"

"what are you talking about?" you ask quietly, searching jimin's face. "give up so easy? what's that supposed to mean?"

he looks away, hands slipping off you. "it's nothing."

"jimin."

he struggles to look at you, tongue in cheek. his lips purse for a moment, pink like roses. he's wearing that navy jumper you like. "look, it's not a big deal. he wasn't supposed to fuck you or anything, just take you out for a while. get your mind off kookie, show you a nice time."

your blood runs cold. "what?"

jimin's expression softens. "it's not as bad as it sounds-"

"really?" your voice is sharp, sharper than he's ever heard it. you recoil as if you had been struck for the second time today. "because it sounds like you asked some guy to keep me occupied like i'm a fucking dog. all because you can't stand the idea of me being within a meter of jungkook-"

he steps in, but you step back. "you know that's not true, _."

"don't i?" you scoff, covering your face in disbelief. "jimin, you've been hellbent against me even looking at the guy since day fucking one."

"because i didn't want you to get hurt!" jimin counters, eyes downcast. "i know, okay? i know how much of a dick it makes me sound, but its not like it hurt you when you had no idea! hoseok broke it off before you even knew about it so why-"

"because it's worse," you turn away from him. "you tried to control me. choose what's best for me because you think you know better than i do. sound familiar?"

his jaw sets, and it's like you can hear the twine snap in his head, the percussion of his heartbeat above yours even though he doesn't close the space between you. jimin stares at you for a long minute before drawing in a thin breath. "fine," he steps in, and you can't look away. "you want me to say it? fine. i'll say it."

suddenly the air is lace thin around you as you stare at him, waiting. jimin looks off somewhere else, somewhere you can't reach. "don't tell me you haven't thought about it, because i know you have. if i have you must have too. and lately its all i can think about - being with you, holding you, being the one who gets to touch you. and yeah, maybe it took having to see you with jungkook for me to realise how much i want all that, i put my hands up. but you have no idea what's it like to watch the person you love most get toyed around with by a time bomb like that. i've seen jungkook go through girls like underwear and i love him, god i love him, but even the idea of you being one of those wasted girls sitting outside a party crying over his sorry ass makes my fucking ears ring."

"j-jimin…" you whisper, but you have nothing to say. your hands shake.

"you deserve more than that, ____. you deserve more than waiting around for booty calls or living up to what the next guy wants. from jungkook, hoseok, anyone. you deserve someone's devotion and yeah, maybe all this time i've been too much of a pussy to give it. maybe all this time i was tiptoeing around my feelings for you because i knew if i admitted to myself that i loved you - if i admitted i was just like every other guy - i'd actually set the bar for something other than disappointment. id actually have to step up, and i didn't know if i could do it. i still don't. but if it has to be someone…it should be me."

suddenly he's holding your hands, calming the tremble that rattles them. his words bunch up together in your ears, the meaning lost amidst your awe. "jimin….jimin what are you saying? where is all this coming from, i don't...i don't understand wh-"

"i'm saying," he cups your face. "choose me." he pulls you in. so, so close. "choose me, not jungkook. not anyone else. me."

and there's a part of you that has already caved. that's already kissing him, melting into his arms like you've wanted to for so, so long. you're falling back onto the couch with him in a fit of giggles, curling back into his chest to hide your watery eyes, asking him why the fuck he took so long. you chat together between teasing kisses, pour your hearts out, maybe cry a little. later you would make tea and order pad thai and watch the office all night and fall asleep together in the living room well past dawn and then-

you close your eyes. "i can't."

"you can," jimin says, so passionately you shudder. his brown eyes are teaming with too much determination and ardour for his own good, and you both know it. its difficult to grapple with how huge a risk he's taking, because jimin never takes risks. it made the whole situation seem dire. "you know you can, ____. it's us. there's no one like us."

you don't know how you're not crying yet. you only have jimin to hold onto, hands balled in his shirt without knowing if you're about to push him away or pull him in forever. "maybe back then. maybe if you'd have said all this before," you feel empty, the beat of your pulse suddenly strong in your fingertips. "but it doesn't matter anymore."

he shakes his head in denial, his determination palpable. "of course it does-"

"i'm in love with him," you say. to jimin. to yourself. to the world, finally. "i'm in love with jungkook." holding jimin's stare isn't as difficult as you thought it'd be. "you know if you'd have done all this a few months ago…if you'd have just...i was always yours without question, jimin. and you knew it." it's his turn to bristle under the strain of your voice. "jungkook isn't perfect. i'll be the first one to admit that. he's made me cry, he fucks up, he makes mistakes. but he's never lied to me. he never made decisions for me. he never passed judgement on what i should or shouldn't do with my life. something that i never thought i wouldn't able to say about you, too."

there's a brief moment where everything stops. neither of you can believe what you just said. jimin watches you, frozen in his place as you take your bag, eyes glittering with tears when he calls for you. suddenly he's the time bomb he feared becoming, the panic in his eyes lighting them up like fire crackers. for the first time in his life, he stumbles over his words, and then his feet when you reach for the door, all composure lost. he was unravelling like a tapestry in front of you, never to be repaired, and he could feel it. "____. ____, please," jimin chokes, his cheeks blotchy. "i wanted to protect you, i was just trying to help. don't go. please don't go. i was trying to help you."

"no. you were trying to have me." you say, closing the door behind you.

you have no idea what time it is when you hear the bell ring incessantly.

it had been hours since you'd returned home from jimin's, but there was no way for you to keep track when your only priority was just keeping yourself afloat. you turned your phone off, drew the curtains, and resolved to alternate between sitting in seulgi and jisoo's rooms until they came back. you didn't know what else to do. when you weren't crying you were hyperventilating, and when that stopped the absence of emotion was so powerful you could barely keep your eyes open. you were exhausted but could not sleep. starving but could not eat. it was a miracle you even made it down the stairs, using what little strength you had to yank it open without even thinking about who could be on the other side in the middle of the fucking night. but at this point, you would gladly take a serial killer over jimin or jungkook.

"taehyung," you breathe when you take in his face, relieved. you must look like absolute shit because he scans your face and winces.

"jimin told me," he says, the apology in his voice and expression was almost painful to register. "he told me everything. ____, i'm so sorry. i should have told you about the hoseok thing, i just thought it would be worse coming from me, and then i tried to force jimin into confessing but then he didn't because he's jimin, and now-"

"you're only allowed to come inside if you stop apologising," you say weakly, voice haggered from the hours of crying.

taehyung's pouty expression almost makes you smile with how cute he looks, gingerly stepping over the threshhold. "i really am sorry though."

"for what," you say monotonously, closing the door behind him while he takes off his shoes. "my inexplicably terrible taste in men? my uncanny ability to get manipulated by literally anyone who shows me a scrap of affection? or my absolutey shredded-to-shit attachment style thats barely intact let alone functioning healthily? after hoppping between the first two for a few hours i'd personally go for the latter. but whatever."

"please shut up," taehyung sighs, bringing you into his arms before you could have a second thought about it. "you need to amp up the misandry in this context. a lot of this had nothing to do with you and everything to do jimin and jungkook."

you're too tired to open your eyes, snuggling into the softness of taehyung's chest. you’re too exhausted to argue. "where did you learn the word misandry? have you been reading?"

"yeah," you can hear his big, pleased grin. "i know you and the girls have been calling me a himbo behind my back."

"affectionately," you add, peering up at him. he wipes the wetness off your cheeks, moving upstairs to your room with your hand in his. he fetches you a glass of water before putting you into bed like he's paid to do it. taehyung was the cuddliest person you had ever met, but you had rarely seen him dote on anyone. "girls love himbos. it's a compliment."

"not all girls," he mutters when he returns from the bathroom with a glass of water. "drink this, would you? you look so dry it's making me itchy."

you do as he says with a roll of your eyes. "what do you mean?" you finish your water with a big gulp. "jisoo loves dumb guys, what are you talking about?"

taehyung looks away from you, bottom lip rolling up under his teeth so fast you barely catch it. he pulls up your desk chair next to your bed, thinking long and hard before meeting your eyes again. "i don't mean jisoo."

you don't understand at first, but after staring at his face for a long minute your stomach drops. "don't. don't you fucking dare," another beat of silence. you rip the covers off you to scamble to your knees, grab your pillow and hurl it at taehyung's head. "taehyung, please don't tell me that the one remaining, healthy relationship i have with a man has also been shot to shit because i swear to god i'm gonna-"

"it's not a big deal," he says firmly, and he really does mean it. taehyung catches your wrists when you lunge at him, effectively ending your outburst before it can begin. he keeps hold of them while he stares into your eyes, watching the way they fill up with a fresh bout of tears. "i've had a crush on you for a while, so what? it's not anyone's business but mine so don't worry about it."

you try not to scream at him. "how long?"

"...since the start." he shrugs. "it's not like i could have done anything anyway. with jimin around. he’d never have it."

"but...! but..." you splutter, the highlight reel of your friendship suddenly marred before your eyes. "but you let me talk to you about boys! you gave me advice with hobi and jimin and jungkook and...! you encouraged jimin to confess to me. and the whole thing with jisoo?"

he wets his lips guiltily. "jisoo is a nice girl. i like her, but...not like you. i've always liked you."

you shake your head in horror, your face crumpling. bile rose in your throat. "so all of that...playing with my friend like that. was just to get to me?"

"listen to me," taehyung says firmly, gripping your wrists to make you look at him again. he's so close you can feel the warmth of his breath on yours, and you never realised how large taehyung's torso was compared to yours before. he could have smothered you, but he didn't. in all senses. "the way jimin and jungkook handled their feelings is on them, just like how this is on me. it doesn't matter if i'm fucking you or not, you're my friend and i'll always want people to do right by you. and that includes me."

there was nothing else to say, so taehyung wordlessly wipes your face again and fetches you more water before retreating to sleep on the couch downstairs. all the while you sat there in your bed, confused and bewildered and thoughtful. the same bed jungkook fucked you on. the same bed jimin held you in. out of all the men in your life, taehyung was the only one who treated his feelings for you with reverence. there wasn't one interaction you could think of where he made his feelings clear, where he even hinted towards wanting something more. if he hadn't have said anything tonight, in the wake of one of the most emotionally tumultuous days of your life, you would still be in the dark about it all. and that was the scariest part. you didn't know anyone else who hadn't let their feelings for you effect how they treated you. so ultimately, it was possible.

and jimin and jungkook chose not to do that. but taehyung did.

taehyung did.

when you finally pad downstairs after hours of ruminating, jisoo's bedroom door is wide open. and that's who you should be thinking about now - your friend and sister jisoo - as the sky begins to lighten with the signs of morning. you hadn't slept for over twenty four hours, you were hungry and thirsty, delirious from the whirlwind of losing the two most important men in your life in one day. but still, you are drawn to taehyung. taehyung, who never asked anything of you. taehyung, who was as silent as he was selfless this whole time. taehyung who routinely put what he wanted aside in favour of what was best for you. taehyung, who protected you without needing credit or recognition for it. taehyung, taehyung, taehyung, taehyung, taehyung-

"taehyung," you whisper scraping your nails through his hair. his eyes fluttered open, twisting his head to face you as you hovered above him. he could barely see you in the darkness. "taehyung, wake up."

"what is it?" he croaks, sitting up with half-lidded eyes and a yawn. he doesn't know how to read the expression on your face. he swings his legs off the sofa in a sitting position, wearing nothing but his boxers and tee, visibly alarmed. "what happened? are you okay?"

you take his face in your hands and kiss him.

taehyung stiffens against you, breath drawn thin. you pull away to gauge his expression, desperately searching his eyes in the darkness. for discomfort, disapproval, anything negative at all. the absolute ardour you find instead could knock you down if taehyung didn't reach for your neck, kissing you again. you whine at the feel of his tongue, having no idea where such sudden and intense arousal was coming from. when you pull away with shaky limbs, you climb onto his thick thighs so he can feel your wetness through his boxers. taehyung grunts at the sensation, and again when you kiss him passionately and without abandon. the sweet girl every guy he knew was agonising over, suddenly in his lap. he's barely had his tongue down your throat for ten minutes and you're already rocking into him, his erection betraying his resolve.

it's better than he dreamed.

"taehyung," you gasp, palming him now. he groans when he pulls away to look at your mouth, glistening with his saliva when you take his hand and guide it down to your arousal. "please."

#jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook au #bts x reader #bts au #jungkook scenario #bts scenario #jimin x reader #jimin x you #jimin au #bts fic #jungkook fic #jimin fic #jungkook college au #jimin college au #bts college au #myfic

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sunaswife · 4 years ago

Text

𝕻𝖗𝖔𝖌𝖗𝖆𝖒𝖒𝖊𝖉 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖍𝖎𝖒

Shigaraki X f! Reader

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, brainwashed/ programmed reader, implied kidnapping, Dom/sub, use of the word ‘pet’ and ‘master’, first time sex, uh..does this count as yandere..? Idk lol

🔪: this is like my second time writing smut so I’m sorry if it’s bad 🙇‍♀️ plz don’t spank me. N E Wayz I dedicate this fic to @aoi-turtle 🖤 and Any other shiggy whores out there

Edit: I FORGOT TO TAG @dinablossom and @toworuu IM SO SORRY BSVAKAGSJA

Summary: Imagine being programmed to be the leagues healer but also Shigaraki’s little cum bucket

♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎♡︎☠︎︎

“Master what is the meaning of this.” Shigaraki looked at the television screen as he scratched his neck. “I took her quirk and made it a thousand times better.” He said simply. “Tomura shigaraki where should I place her?” Kurogiri asked. “Anywhere. I don’t care. I just don’t understand why you brought a stupid hero here.” He said annoyed.

“Now now—“ “Shut up and put her somewhere out of my sight!” Tomura demanded and Kurogiri sighed and carried your body to the spare room by shigaraki’s private quarters. You looked dead, you were exhausted, traumatized, in shock.

You were frozen. Your eyes stayed open, unblinking as you stared at the ceiling. It looked as if you were dead. But your body is warm and you were breathing, you’re alive and you’ll recover quick. Thanks to the quirk All for One fixed for you.

Dabi smirked at your ruined form. Spinner hid his rosy cheeks, you were a cute one. Toga was excited to have another girl in the league she talked with Twice about all the fun things you two could do together. Whether it be painting your nails, doing your hair, torturing someone, or making them bleed. She was excited.

“What’s so good about her quirk that you needed it.” Shigaraki asked. “It’s come to my attention that the league has been missing an important puzzle piece.” He started off. “Yeah? What’s that?” The light blue haired man asked. He was beyond ticked off to have a hero here. “She’s not a hero. She was training under UA’s school nurse. But she fell into the hero course for recovery and first aid training.” He said and everyone stayed silent and patiently listened to the brain behind the league.

“Her quirk is pyrokinetic regeneration. She manipulates fire with the energy of the person who needs healing and together she heals with so called fire. Her quirk was small, only a few cuts a bruises here and there could she heal. But I added cell regeneration so she can even fix up deep wounds that could need surgery in a matter of days instead of months.”

“Sounds amazing! No she could use her fire against us!” Twice said and Toga nodded. “She won’t. Her fire doesn’t burn unless you’re hurt.” Kurogiri returned. “But she’s still a hero brat so wouldn’t she try to resist?” Dabi asked. “I don’t know but let me try and see!” Toga giggled and pulled out a knife she easily slit her wrist and skipped her way to your new room.

Out of curiosity the other members followed suit. Shigaraki first, he wanted to see if you were truly useful if not then he’d disintegrate you right here and now. “Hi hi new friend! My name is Toga!” The psychotic girl giggle as her blood dripped all over the floor. You looked up slowly from your spot on the bed. “H-hi...T-toga..” your voice was low. “Kurogiri Can you bring her some water?” Toga asked and he left and came back in the blink of an eye.

Your hands were shaking for the cup of water but Toga held it back, away from you. “If you want the water then heal my wrist first.” She said sweetly with a giggle. “Heal your wrist?” You whispered and she nodded. “O-okay..” you stuttered and you slowly removed the blanket from your lap. You stood up with wobbly legs to go to the girl but you fell. The chain on your ankle pulled you back. You winced and looked at her, pleading for her to come to you. She asked if you were okay and when you responded she shoved her bloody arm to your face. “Take a deep breath. This may sting...” you started and a small green flame came upon your hand. You rubbed the flame over both of your hands like you were putting on lotion, finally when the flames covered both hands you pressed hard on her wrist. She winced, “ow ow ow.” She whimpered, you removed your hands and everyone stared at the flame around her whole wrist. “Give it thirty seconds....or not...” you said as you stared wide eyed at her already healed cut. It was barley a touch and it’s gone now. “Wow. No scar!” She giggled and turned to show the guys. “Wow stab me next, please don’t or else I’ll bite ya!” Twice said and you reached for the water. “Interesting.” Shigaraki mumbled with a small squint. Kurogiri looked over and hoped he wouldn’t do anything bad to you.

“Shows over. She needs her rest.” Kurogiri said and everyone left one by one. Toga gave her a hug and wished for you both to be the best of friends and she skipped away. “Tomura Shigaraki. What are you thinking?” Kurogiri asked as Shigaraki began to walk into your room. “Nothing that concerns you.” He spat and slammed the door. Kurogiri sighed but returned to the bar nonetheless.

“Do you know who I am?” Shigaraki asked, “Yes you’re the leader of the league of villains, You’re name is Tomura Shigaraki and your quirk is decay—“ “that’s enough!” He raised his voice and looked at you with wide eyes.

You looked so sad and you glanced down at your cup. “Mr. shigaraki I know I don’t usually talk this much. I’ve always been the quiet type. I think whoever kidnapped me gave me a huge sense of knowledge. I know the league is bad but I don’t care about the heroes anymore and I don’t know why. I know everything about you guys, your true identity, your quirks, your past. And when I see you I—“ you quickly stopped yourself.

Shigaraki raised a brow. “You what?” He asked curiously. “N-nothing. Just forget it.” You answered and he growled. “Answer me now before I kill you.” He said and your legs subconsciously clenched together. You stayed quiet and your chest rose and fell a little more quickly. Why was this feeling in your chest when this killer, this man child looked at you? What exactly did the man he calls master do to you?

Before you knew it he gripped your chin and lifted it harshly so you could look at his wrinkly red eyes. Even though he looks like a bum he smelled nice and clean. A hand was covering his face and you slowly lifted your hand to touch it and his other hand grabbed your wrist. “What the fuck are you doing? Do you have a death wish you fucking idiot?” He growled and you gulped. “C-can i see your face?” You asked and he tilted his head confused.

“No. Answer my question-“ before you both knew it, as if your body had a mind of its own you tackled shigaraki down and you snatched the hand off his face. His hand quickly wrapped around your neck and arm and you pressed your lips against his. He halted his finger from pressing against your neck. He was beyond confused.

“If only tomura finished listening to what i had to say.” All for one chuckled loudly. You both were able to faintly hear the television from down the hall. “He would know that I managed to change y/N’s desires and whole way of thinking. She’s now with the league of Villains and she’s in love with its leader, Tomura Shigaraki. Consider it a present and motivation for the future of the league.” You both heard and you pulled away from him. “I’m sorry. I should have asked.” You said lowly. He stood there stunned and silent.

He slowly sat up and looked at your figure. “So you were brainwashed like my Nomu.” He hummed and took a few steps back. He noticed how you crawled closer to him but the chain was keeping you away.

“Who do you love?”

“You.”

“Who do you belong to?”

“You.”

“Who’s your master?”

“Tomura Shigaraki.”

You said and he smirked. He was gonna have fun with you. “At least master was kind enough to give me a beauty.” He said as he held on to the chains. “Don’t freak out.” He warned and you nodded. He disintegrated the chain around your ankle and he pulled you by the arm. You were wearing an ugly hospital gown and you were barefoot. You couldn’t help but shiver. He went next door to his room and he shoved you in and slammed the door. You nearly tripped over the mess and you turned to look at shiggy. “Why are you just standing there?” He asked, “You haven’t given me orders.” You deadpanned. “You can’t think for yourself?” He questioned. “No i can but I Don’t want to upset you.” You replied.

“Fine then clean this shit up.” He referred to his very very messy room. You nodded and began to lift up a piece of trash but he pulled you away. “Change first.” He said and handed you a black hoodie. “Do you have a bathroom?” You asked. “No change here.” He said and you nodded. You turned so your back was facing him and carefully began to take off the gown, leaving you completely bare and Shigaraki couldn’t help but look.

Your skin was so beautiful and looked so soft. He saw as you carefully put on his hoodie and it completely engulfed you. It reached to your mid thigh. You slowly turned to look at him with rosy cheeks. The hoodie smelled just like him. “Tomura—“ “It’s master to you.” He Interrupted and you nodded, subconsciously squeezing your thighs together once more. “Sorry...m-master.” You said and played with the hem of his hoodie.

“Master..can I have some underwear too...? I feel weird, when I’m bare underneath..” you asked. “No, continue cleaning my room.” He answered coldly and sat on his gaming chair. He turned on his console and began playing whatever game he had.

You sighed and you couldn’t help but admire his gorgeous yet scarred face and his beautiful long fingers. In an instant he can kill you, but if you’re good..then he might even reward you. If you were to die, I’d rather be in the hands of your master than anyone else.

You quickly began you pick up the instant ramen bowls and bags of chips. You separated recycling and trash. You even managed to pick up all his dirty clothes and put it in the hamper in less than an hour. Tomura was stunned, one minute he can barley walk in, the next It’s almost spotless. He saw you from the corner of his eye, you were folding his clothes that practically had the same color scheme.

“Can i go through your drawers to put your clothes away..?” You finally spoke up. “Yeah it’s whatever. I don’t care.” He mumbled and returned to the screen. “Ugh stupid game!” He huffed and began pressing the controller more furiously. You chuckled and thought that it was so cute and adorable when he was frustrated.

You went to his California king sized bed and began to fix the sheets and make his bed. Since it was so huge, you had to climb on to properly fix it. You were completely in your own world when Shigaraki turned and saw your wet cunt on display in all it’s glory. Ever since he saw you he couldn’t help but feel that urge to take you. His resistance was getting to him and now he wanted to give in to his urges even more. He was too distracted that he lost the fucking game and he growled and disintegrated the controller. That was his own form of rage quitting.

You heard his sound of frustration so when you turned you expected him to be in the same chair uttering bullshit, but you were shocked when you felt your hips being pulled back. Your cunt was touching his pants, but you can feel his bulge. “Um..master..I—“

“Shut up.” He said and reached for your neck. He pulled you back to him and wrapped his other arm around your waist, hovering your aching clit. “This is whats gonna happen.” He started off and you nodded. “I’m going to fuck you. And you’re going to like it. Okay?”

“I understand.” You said softly, you felt his hands slowly lift up the hoodie just a bit to get a better view of your ass. You couldn’t help but feel slightly embarrassed. “I know I’m probably not your dream girl but I promise to be a good girl, master..” your voice shook. He tilted his head, were you getting insecure?

“No pet, you’re perfect to me.” He assured and you could hear his belt jingle as he took it off. “You seem pretty wet already, pet. Since how long have you been like this?” He asked as he got out of his jeans. He slowly open your cheeks to reveal your little pussy clenching around nothing, how cute. “Since I saw you..” you mumbled. He smirked and leaned down. He immediately began to eat out your cunt causing you to gasp in shock and grip the sheets. Your chest layed roughly against the bed as your ass stood proud in the air for the leader of the league of villains to enjoy.

“Fuck—“ you moaned and you felt a slap on your ass. You slightly jumped released a small yelp. “Watch your language.” He growled from your pussy. “Yes master.” You whimpered and he slowly began to rub his thumb on your other hole. Your small moans filled the room and he easily slipped his middle finger in you. You squeezed around him so deliciously, he couldn’t help but wished his cock was inside.

This has never happened to him before, this feeling in his chest. Someone that loves him and will obey his every command. You’re so beautiful as well, and your sounds. Your moans and whimpers, in all honesty he jut wanted to get himself off. But after hearing you and seeing you. He wants to make sure you have pleasure as well.

He continued pumping his finger in and out of your slick walls and your voice started getting slightly higher. “Master...I—I’m gonna cum...”you panted and your toes began to curl. “It’s okay, cum for me, pet. You’ve been a good girl.” He said softly and he felt you clench around his finger. When you came he slowly removed his finger and examined it. You must be new to is if you could get off with just one of his long fingers.

You layed on the bed a bit tired, not paying attention to your master who had tasted your cum on his finger. It was delicious and he wanted another taste. When you felt a lick on your cunt again you immediately shivered and clenched your thighs. “Hold still I just wanna taste some cum.” Shigaraki huffed and he pulled your thighs apart. You were pretty sensitive but you obeyed nonetheless.

You moans began to fill the room once more and before you could finish and cum again he pulled away. You automatically whimpered and turned to give your master puppy dog eyes. “I would let you cum again, but my cock is so fucking hard I don’t think I can wait another minute.” he said and began to pull down his boxers.

Before you could get back in position, which freaking hurt, he flipped you over on your back and you made a small oof noise. You looked up to See shigaraki focused on his cock, he was rubbing himself up and down your slit to use your cum as lube. “Alright I’m going in.” He announced and slowly pushed his rather large member inside your tint cunt. You immediately yelped and held on to his biceps. “M-master wait—it hurts..” you pleaded and Tomura finally looked up at your face.

He loves inflicting pain, he loves watching people’s painful expressions when they’re hurt or when they’re gonna die. Chisaki’s face was so amusing. But when he saw yours, his heart shattered and he didn’t want to hurt you at all. You’ve been nothing but good to him, he doesn’t want to hurt his little toy. “I’m sorry.” He apologized, “it’s okay..” you sniffled. After a minute of him being patient you gave him a nod and he continued to slowly bottom out.

You both released a moan when he was all the way in. You both have never felt anything like this before. “Can I start moving?” Shigaraki asked you as he brushed way the hair from your face. You nodded and he pulled almost all the way out and he slammed back in. Your little gasps and moans came back which made shigaraki feel at ease. You can clearly hear your slick with every thrust and it was music to his ears.

“I’ve been neglecting these.” He grunted and lifted his hoodie over your chest. Finally he was able to see your beautiful soft breasts bouncing with each thrust. “Fuck you’re so beautiful.” He moaned and immediately lowered his mouth to one of your nipples. You squealed and your back arched and he pushed you down. “Master...” you moaned softly. His tongue swirled around your hardened bud and your fingers tangled in his light blue hair. Two of his fingers pinched your other nipple and he lightly bit the nipple in his mouth.

“I think I-I’m close—“ you gasped and he removed his mouth. His thrusts decreased in speed but they became harder. He had a stupid smirk on his face and your eyes widened when he wrapped his hand around your throat. “Hold it until I say so.” He demanded and you muttered a weak yes. He felt how your gummy walls squeezed against his large dick, he was getting close too. “Fuck Fuck Fuck.” He groaned with his head tilted back and your mouth watered at the sight. Why is he so fucking handsome?

He could feel himself getting closer to his climax so he rubbed his thumb on you clit while increasing his pace once more, causing you to be even louder than before. Everyone in the bar could hear and a certain fire villian grumbled in annoyance. “Master I can’t hold it anymore!” You screamed. “Then cum my stupid little pet. Cum all over my cock like a good girl.” He grunted and bit his lip at the sight of your sweaty body. Your bouncing breasts, crazy hair, your adorable ahego face, your twitching legs and finally your grip on his biceps. You were so prefect and so good to him and only him.

When you came you felt his cum shoot inside you as well causing you to gasp at the delicious feeling. Tomura rested his head on your shoulder and tried catching his breath. You couldn’t help but smile and blush at the closeness. You slowly wrapped your arms around him and you gave his shoulder a kiss causing him to freeze. “I love you master, thank you for making me feel good.” You said softly. He chuckled and pulled you closer, “I love you too.”

I wanna write a part 2 of Shiggy finding out his little toy is being used by a certain fire boy 👀

#tomura shigaraki #shigaraki smut #league of villains #my hero academia #yandere shigaraki #smut #[🏌️‍♀️🔪.yandere]

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emptymasks · 4 years ago

Text

And I’ll be coming for you too

Pairing: Tom Cody/Raven Shaddock

Words: 3319

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Read on Ao3

Notes: So this whole fic was just written as a practice for the actual fic I want to write, but I wasn't sure if I was getting Raven's dialogue in character so I thought as a practice I could just write scenes from the film. So all the dialogue is actual dialogue from the film (apart from one line), and Raven's internal voice is all my writing. I wasn't sure whether to post it as this was just to help me practice getting into character for them, but once I finished typing I realised it was 3k words long so I may as well post it.

Also, yes, hi, hello, it's been over 2 months since I posted. I was being so good at writing frequently again and then I just dropped off. I don't know why I became convinced I didn't have the time to write, and when I did I just couldn't get myself to do it. But now the UK is on lockdown and I've had to shut my shop, my only source of income, guess I don't have the excuse of not having time anymore huh.

Also it's late and my eyes were hurting as I proof-read so there may be mistakes there wouldn't usually be, sorry.

He’d almost forgotten how pretty she was.

They’d tied her up as soon as they’d gotten back to the bar and Raven had stayed with his men, sorting things out and going through how he was going to handle her, and how none of them were going to tell anyone where she was.

Ellen was still on the bed where they’d left her, of course she was, it’s not like she’d be able to untie herself. She was moving her arms, trying to tug them free and failing. She was glaring at him with such cold hate that only sharpened her features. Her chest was heaving.

Raven was across the room in an instant. He sat on the bed, putting his hands either side of her waist. Not touching her, not yet. He smirked down at her and her expression didn’t change. He felt a twinge of anger. Couldn’t she feel something, even if it was burning rage? Without thinking he swept down in an attempt to kiss her but she turned her head away.

“You know, you’re making things real hard on yourself. You act nice, me and you fall in love for a week or two, and then I let you go. Nobody gets hurt,” He reached out to hold her cheek. “You see, I ain’t such a bad guy. I just… get excited around pretty girls.”

He tried to kiss her again but she continued to turn away and push her legs up to try and create distance between them. Raven frowned.

There were women in this area that would love a chance with him (some men too), though granted it was more because they figured sleeping with the leader of the Bombers would give them some protection, but here he’d had to go after someone who didn’t want him.

She was so beautiful though, even more so without those brightly coloured lights from the stage beaming down on her. She seemed so much smaller like this…

Raven watched as Ellen continued kept herself pressed away from him. He got to his feet and paced the length of the room and back. This should be easy, she was tied down, just… you know… do it… But he’d been hoping she could be into it, a stupid fantasy. Is that what he’d done all this for, some fantasy crush?

Goddamn, if it was that this would all be so much easier.

He’d sensed the Bombers getting restless. What with other gangs rising up, and trouble with the Road Masters, he’d sensed that somewhere getting pretty displeased about how he was running things. They felt like they hadn’t done anything big in ages, that Raven wasn’t bad enough, wasn’t tough enough. That he was starting to go soft. So what could be a bigger move to show he was not to be messed with than to successfully kidnap the single most famous and heavily-guarded person in Richmond. That would be big enough to shut them all up.

He cast a glance back at Ellen before storming out of the room. He let out a slow breath to make himself appear calm before crossing the hallway and into the room where a group of Bombers were playing cards, and he sat in his usual seat next to Greer. Greer wasn’t the best fighter among them, but he’d quickly become Raven’s right-hand man as he had an uncommon sense of loyalty towards Raven. He’d rather have an okay fighter who’d actually give a shit if he was shot, rather than the best fighter who’d leave him to bleed out in the streets.

Raven put Ellen from his mind. Either she’d come around and they’d have a fling, or she wouldn’t and Raven would move her to somewhere where the others Bombers couldn’t get to her. He didn’t want all his men putting his hands on her, and while he had gone to all this trouble, he wasn’t the type to force himself on someone. Abducting, sure that’s easy and hey you don’t have to hurt them, but he wasn’t comfortable doing that. Not that he could let the other Bombers know that.

He was trying to focus on the game and lit a cigarette, when some blond girl burst into the room.

“Knock, knock,” She said, smugly, as she pointed her gun at them.

Raven calmly took the cigarette out of his mouth. He’d had guns pointed at him too many times for it to bother him anymore. Maybe that would worry some people. Maybe it should worry him.

There was a commotion outside the bar, and then he heard footsteps closer to them, before retreating. Shit, someone figured out where Ellen was.

“Guys, it’s been a slice,” The blonde girl backed out of the room, shutting the door behind her as she ran off.

Raven shot to his feet. “Well don’t all just sit there!” He yelled as the Bombers finally started moving and following her out of the door.

When Raven finally got outside, away from all the bodies crashing into each other in a panic, there was fire in the street. Whoever came for Ellen sure was having some fun. Raven could respect that.

Navigating his way through the fire, he saw a man starting up a bike, a Bomber bike.

“Well,” Raven called over to the man as he approached. “Looks like I finally ran into someone that likes to play as rough as I do.”

The man on the bike turned around. Raven had never seen him before. Strange that it wasn’t a local, only locals knew how to get into the Battery. Maybe he was some hired hero or hitman paid off to get Ellen back.

He was pretty though.

It wasn’t like Raven to not notice that. He’d realised when he was fairly young he had a penchant for pretty things, whether they were girls or guys. His mother used to say it was a good thing he was named after a bird, since he always seemed to chase anything pretty and shiny.

“Yeah, this must be your lucky night.” Oh so the man was sure of himself. Quick too. And what those words could mean in another context. Raven could almost think the man was flirting.

“I’m lucky? I guess maybe I am,” Raven smirked, then dropped into a scowl. “And you’re dumb. Real dumb if you think you can pull this off.”

“I think you’re forgetting something,” The man pulled at the front of his coat. “I’ve got the gun.”

“I can get guns, smart guy, lots of them. Now why don’t you tell me your name?” It was a perfectly normal question. If he was going to find this mystery pretty boy (mystery man, his brain fought among itself) and track him down, he’d need his name. It wasn’t because he was interested… Alright, it wasn’t just because he was interested.

“Tom Cody. Pleased to meet ya,” The man’s lip twitched into the hint of a smile. It annoyed Raven.

“I’ll be coming for her. And I’ll be coming for you too.”

“Sure you will. And I’ll be waiting.”

Raven let his face break out into a smirk that seemed to get under the man’s skin as he turned his head away. Raven watched him set off on the bike, then turned to walk back through the fire.

Raven sent Greer to go and arrange the meeting with the cops. Greer could take care of himself, but also Cody wouldn’t care to go after him. Hell, Raven couldn’t show up alone anywhere right now, Tom Cody present or not. Ellen Aim was well loved and being her abductor was not making him any more well liked than he was. People still feared him, sure, but now people from out of town knew his face. He wasn’t sure if he liked that. A guy always needs to be able to disappear. You never know when you might have too.

“I want Tom Cody. I want to nail that son-of-a-bitches’ head to the side walk under that marquee that says ‘Ellen Aim’ on it,” Raven couldn’t help but grin at the thought.

Cody was infuriating him more every second. First he shows up and takes back the girl, then he proceeds to shoot his men, blow up his street, and steal a bike (maybe the bike should bother him less). He wanted to punch him in the face real bad. The idea of Cody losing to him, submitting to him, was a pleasing thought. And he needed it. Not because he was obsessing over Cody, no, not at all, but the Bombers had just suffered a lot of damage while he led them and that was causing a lot of rumblings. If Raven didn’t make Cody pay, the Bombers were going to him pay.

The cops hated him, he knew that. Fuck them.

“And to prove to you that I’m gonna be a nice guy,” Raven continued. “I’m coming in with just two of my men. After I take care of Cody, they’ll be no more trouble,” He was smirking again as soon as he said Cody’s name, he could feel it.

And they were lies of course. For a week or so he’d act like he was keeping his word, but then start to scale things back up again.

“Do your job man, keep the peace.”

That fucking bastard cop. Fucking liar. Cody hadn’t shown up. Knowing Officer Price, he’d probably warned Cody to get out of town.

Whatever. It wasn’t like he was dumb enough to trust cops.

He rode down, with Greer and Mikey riding just behind him, and came to a stop in front of the barricade of cop cars. He stopped his bike and watched as the cops approached, clenching his jaw.

“Well?” Raven lounged back on his bike. Cody was possibly still here, or at least could still show up.

“It’s real simple, Raven,” Officer Price spoke up. “There’s no showdown. Tom Cody ain’t here and neither is the girl.”

Oh fuck, yeah the girl. He’d sort of forgotten about taking Ellen back since he’d been so focused on Cody.

Cody who wasn’t fucking here.

“I don’t get it,” Raven felt his jaw starting to shake.

“Get off your bike, Raven.”

Alright, tough fucking cop.

Raven stood, swinging his leg over his bike. “I ain’t too crazy about jails, chief. I got a better idea for ya.”

As Raven raised reached into the pocket of his black, leather coat, he watched the cops tense as they expected a gun.

Idiots.

Raven pulled up the air horn so they could clearly see what it was, and he pressed it.

He watched the cops faces as they realised what was about to happen. It was so fucking satisfying. Watching their faces crumble as he head the rumble of bike engines approach and approach and the cops’ eyes widen as they realised just how many where coming.

“I told your friend Cody I could get a lot of guns.”

It felt like such a brilliant moment.

Some short little runt had to ruin it, pushing his way through the gathering crowd to start yelling in Raven’s face.

“What is this?! You can’t get away with this! You think you can ride into any town and kidnap anyone you want?”

Yeah, pretty much.

“Now, get the hell out of town and leave these people alone,” The man spoke as if he was somehow intimidating. As if that was going to make Raven leave. Pathetic.

He didn’t even need to tell Greer to get the guy out of his face, Greer just stepped forward and punched the man. The officer behind Price scurried over to help the fallen man.

They could easily take the cops. It would be something. Not as satisfying as if Cody was here. It wasn’t fair.

Then there was a screech. Tires on concrete.

Raven saw the red blur before he even recognised it as a car. Cody pulled up behind the cops, perfectly placed so Raven could see him, like he wanted all of Raven’s attention on him. As soon as Cody stepped out, he took one look at Raven and shrugged off his coat. He threw it back into his car with a sharp turn and stalked towards Raven. Raven couldn’t help but inspect the other man’s physique more. Perhaps Cody was more muscular than he’d thought. He could still take him though… especially with what he’d brought with him.

“Sorry I’m late,” Cody didn’t look fucking sorry at all. His face was this blank expression. Raven couldn’t tell if he was angry, or just bored.

He won’t be bored for long.

“I’ve got something special in mind. I brought them along, just for you,” Raven removed his own coat, revealing even more black leather underneath. He turned around to throw his coat onto his bike.

He motioned to Greer to get the weapons he’d brought with him.

“Well my plan went to shit,” Officer Price turned to Cody. “Let’s see how you do.” He stepped closer to Cody as if he didn’t want Raven to know what he was saying, but Raven could still hear. “Kick his ass.”

He watched Cody give a slight nod and a smile to Price. He looked more infuriating when he was smug.

There was shouting people started to run out form their houses, as they got closer Raven realised most of them had guns. Well, he really better fucking win this.

The hammers made a clanging sound as Greer spun them around in his hand, before throwing one to Cody and the other to Raven.

Fuck guns. These were things that could do some real damage. It also got them up close and personal, made strength come into it. Anyone could stand and fire a gun.

“Nice, huh?” Raven twirled the hammer in his hand, looking casual, before pouncing and striking towards Cody.

Cody’s reflexes were good. He dodged every blow and Raven fully realised the weight of the weapon. If you weren’t careful swinging it, it would bring you down with it.

“Get him!” Greer cheered as Raven struck Tom just below the shoulder.

He’d got a hit in. Okay, he could do this.

Their hammers locked and Raven twisted so it fell out of Cody’s grip, but he was quick to pick it back up. Fuck that. When their hammers locked again, Raven let go with one hand to punch Cody in the face.

That did feel good.

He backed Cody up against a car as he kept dodging more blows. He dodged Cody’s swing that continued on through the car window, covering them both in tiny shards of glass.

They continued to fight and while Cody managed to hit Raven, they quickly went to locking hammers against each other’s. This wasn’t going to work. Fuck! Cody was physically stronger than he’d anticipated. He couldn’t tell from that trench coat that underneath was a fucking jock. If he couldn’t beat him with strength, he’d have to be agile. He twisted and kicked his leg out, his boot landing in Cody’s gut.

Cody was caught off guard and Raven punched him again, sending Cody sprawling onto the floor. He was faintly aware of Greer screaming past the adrenaline pumping through him, blocking out everything other than Cody.

He went to strike down on Cody, but the bastard kept moving. He wasn’t paying attention, purely running on emotions, and before he knew it Cody had grabbed his hammer back and swung it around to hit Raven in the back.

Well turns out he’d been right about them fucking hurting.

Cody then managed to get up and bring his knee into Raven’s stomach, before hitting him across the back with the handle of the hammer.

They locked their hammers a final time as they both pushed with all the strength they had. Their gazes flickered between each other and the hammers which were slowly moving down. Raven could feel himself slipping, he wasn’t strong enough, god fucking dammit.

Raven’s hammer clattered to the ground.

He’d fucked up.

He watched Cody swing back and couldn’t help but feel all kinds of fucking scared as he realised if that hammer hit his head he was very much not going to be okay.

But Cody threw the hammer to the ground.

What the fuck?

What the fuck?! He didn’t want Cody’s fucking pity!

Raven heard himself screaming before his brain processed that that noise was coming from him. He charged at Cody, running him up against some of the Bombers, knocking them and their bikes over. He didn’t care. He didn’t fucking care, he just needed Cody to stop being so fucking infuriating.

He kept punching and kicking and Cody fell and tumbled some more, knocking over even more bikes in his path. When Cody tried to stand up, Raven kicked him in his stomach. When he didn’t try to stand up, Raven grabbed him and pulled him to his feet just to punch him in his face and sent him falling back down again.

He approached Cody again, but Cody’s leg flew up (how was he that fucking flexible?) and kicked Raven in the face. It was Raven’s turn to go sprawling over the floor, landing on one of the Bombers.

He looked up and saw Greer’s face was cold. Jesus, fuck, it’s always the loyal ones isn’t it. Or the ones that think you are. How dare he act like Raven was disappointing him?! He’d only been punched once and already the Bombers were giving up on him.

There he was, not paying attention again, and Cody hauled him to his feet, punching him again and again. They were both getting tired. Raven could feel himself slipping. Tom punched him in the face once, twice, three, four times in a row. Raven stumbled back, barely staying on his feet. He wasn’t sure if he was swaying or the whole world was. His vision was getting blurry.

A shape that looked like Cody walked closer to him and all it took was a push on his shoulder and Raven was falling onto the ground.

He was faintly clinging onto consciousness as he heard cheers and then the sound of too many guns cocking.

“Let’s get out of here!” Greer’s voice called out.

He heard the bikes drive off, more and more or them and he wasn’t sure what he hoped for. If they left him here he’d be sent to jail. If they took him with them… fuck. He’d fucked up. They were not going to keep him around as leader. If they took him with them, he was probably going to get more of a beating and either killed or left out in the street to die like some fucking roadkill.

He felt hands on his shoulders.

“I’ve got you, boss,” It was Greer. Greer was picking him up and placing him on the back of one of the bikes.

Fuck. He was fucked.

His bike was left behind because of course no one fucking thought he might need it. They knew he wouldn’t. He was so tempted to just let his body slide off onto the road before they reached the Battery, just slide off and lay there until someone found him, or he died. He didn’t really care which, right now. He tried to move, but Mikey’s hand was tight around his waist.

“Just making sure you don’t fall off, boss. Don’t want you getting any more hurt than you already are.”

Yeah, sure. That was fucking why. Because they were concerned. Not because they were going to take him back and use his limp body like a trophy to whoever knocked his teeth out first.

This was all his fault.

If Raven lived through the night he was going to hunt that man down.

Tom fucking Cody.

#streets of fire #raven shaddock #tom cody #yep a fandom with 3 fics to its name #mywriting #mine

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lyouna · 5 years ago

Text

Tyler and his love for his fans

On the Thank You Note of Trench album, he said ” To our fans, thank you for letting me disappear and come back when I need to. You guys mean so much to me on a level that is difficult to explain.”

Tyler is surely one of the most talented and nice people I’ve known. He always seems to care about each one of us and make sure we all doing great.

On May 2013 he posted a picture of him held by tens of fans on Instagram with this description “|My-clique/> yours”

In February 2014 he thanks his clique if feel local everywhere “Feeling like a løcal band in Europe. Favorite kind of shows. Still missing home. UK up next. Stay løcal.”

In April he posted a picture of him kneeling in front of little a girl and taking a piece of paper that she was tending him “she drew me a picture.”

On July, 8 of 2014 he posted of him and the beautiful Jenna Black (at that time) “:.:She said yes:.: I want to share ans celebrate this with all of you right now. How public or private should this be? Well, you guys deserve to see where you have taken me and I like sharing with you who I am. Who we are. We’ve always felt an overwhelming support from all of you and we can’t wait to take this next step together…and yes, that was the most nervous I had never been.”

On October 2014 he posted a picture of 24 clikkies “:.:mutant•kids:.:

On December 2014, a photo of a clikkies tag”:.:clique•art:..i seewhatyou create”

On April 2015, he tweeted about Blurryface Album telling them to “wait until your hear everything”. Few minutes later, he tweeted ” phone corrected ‘until’ to ‘unlit’ for a second, and now i’ll use that word to describe things that are great. twitter game unlit right now”.

And after that, he starts using his new word in a lot of his tweets.

He started by using that word towards one of the person he loves the most on earth, “josh is unlit“, and after that, he used that word to qualifies a lot of his shows and by it giving love to his fans.

He also posts on Insatagram “clique••art:. stay unlit, keep creating” And he posted a lot of clikkies’ art.

He always seems very thankful for everything and thanking everyone for it. ” thank you, my friends. all of you.” Later he addressed to his fans” couldn’t survive without you, friends. will you still be here on the 19th? need to lean on you that day, friends.”

I try to make everyone sure that they get noticed by him “i see you all; in one fashion or another; so thank you, my friends; my peers;” / “it breaks my heart to see that Not posting would lead some of you to believe that i do not Love and Support you. that is simply not true. any day when love defeat hate, you can know i am celebrating, just maybe not on twitter. as for the silence: through personal experience, i want to create and influence something that might help others navigate through the battlefield that is the brain. and for those who understand that terminology, you know what battle i am talking about. but while at this mental ground zero, i have found that any other influence added on, no matter how noble, becomes to heavy for me to carry. i am not strong enough. be patient with me as i grow, that some day i might be able to carry more weight. but for now, i write what i know. both josh and i mean this, with Love and Support, .tyler”

On July 2015, he said ” you all have become so important to us. thank you. now go on, git. you gon make me cry now.”

On August of that same year, he continued “my frens i appreciate you all so much. i use music. you use music. thank you for letting me be a part of that with you.” On Instagram “:newfrens:__|__:øldfens: cometogethernow”

On September, he said “gangsters don’t let their gangster frens cry but my frens and i cry all the time. bye.”

On November, he thanked his fans for making a video for his anniversary “saw the video some of you guys put together for my day of birth. got me all misty. thank you for making me feel. all you, i like all you.::” ” thank you all for the bday weesh’s my frens. now go create.” On Instagram “the German clique always puts on amazing shows. hate that i can’t be with them these next few nights. we’ll be back very soon, i promise. dang, this photo makes me all emotional roadshow.” / ” love getting clique:art at shows, especially when it creeps me out a little. took a close up of this one on my phone. sorry I didn’t catch who to credit.”

On December he posted a clique art on Instagram “i see what you guys create and it convinces me i should keep creating too. you have no idea.”

On the last day of 2015, he thanks his fans to made what he hope for possible “2thousand5teen the year i fell asleep and had one long dream. thank you |-/ “

He also said, “i wish i could have a real conversation with all of you individually.“

“and if you or someone near you needs out of the pit for an emergency, hold up your hand and point down at them. i’ll stop the show for you.“

” just drove slowly past the entire line for our show today. i’ve fallen for you guys. each one of you.“

On February 2016, he posted a photo of him “shows in europe:.:can’t wait to see you frens”

On August “i will never forget this tour. the first installment of the emøtiønal røadshow will forever be a part of who i am as an artist, a friend, a performer, a fan. you guys know how to put on a show. so if you watched from a distance, checked in online or helped hold us up in the pit: thank you. because we are “famous” now we have to do all kinds of interviews with random people but the thing that those people always ask us about is you guys. it’s my favorite type of question because i love to brag about you. i know i may have been distant online recently but i can only take that kind of break to focus on doing shows because i know you guys always hold it down, keep the fire burning, keep tending to that flame. if you guys continue to look out for each other, support each other’s art, and stay together you’ll be unstoppable. and the distance is just a season. more shows to come, more songs to write. only for you guys. |-/“

The clikkies did again a video for his birthday in 2016 and he replied” if you hurt any of these people i will hurt you. thank you frens. so much. |-/”

” . you deserve more than a :thank:you: my frens. the ones who hold this thing up. i brace for the fall but you keep on holding. . “

On February,14 of 2017 he posted 3 times, one for Jenna, one for Josh and one for us” and to you. Happy Valentine’s Day. lets all date.“

On October 2018 he said ” ok im out. i should get on here more. first show of the bandito tour tomorrow in nashville. i like you guys.” / “TRENCH ||-// out now:: tell some people you know, if you can. and if you already spread the news, thank you my fren:: josh was up all night calling everyone in his contacts” In November “hit me hard last night, where we came from, how this started. playing last night in phoenix was a perfect representation of that. thank you, frens. |-/ “

On December “you all are so weird” “and i love every bit of it thank you for making this birthday great/weird and, you know what, happy birthday to all of you, whenever that may be. because when that day truly comes around, i won’t really care that much”

“the bandito tour is very special to me, including any of you who made it to the show this year. thank you. things get quiet around this time, and i’m reminded why i write so much about the lack of sound. it’s deafening. all of the questions. is what i’m doing any good. this last album, was it good enough, what’s the point. i hate typing them out, which might be why i refuse to grant them any punctuation. but then i’m reminded of the show and the people who come. this odd theatrical convention we have landed on as a species, a concert, is somehow healing and protecting, boosting the immune system of the psyche. maybe it’s the ethereal sensation of hearing you all singing in unison, or its the natural warmth of the collective body heat from the pit billowing toward me. whatever t is, i’ve learned it can be harnessed and preserved so that the echoes of its effects can be tapped in to when needed. kneeling down in front of you during the show, i’m collecting. and now as i type this out i’m unpacking, to combat those questions that show up in the quietest of places. feels silly just saying”thank you for coming to the show” so i thought i’d explain it a little. see you at the next one |-“

I hope I made you believe that Tyler loves you because he truly does. He isn’t a singer who doesn’t care about his fans, he does love us. He wants us to stay alive, it’s not some jokes that people told because they think it would make you feel better, it’s the reality. If he learns you didn’t stay alive, it would devastate him.

Stay Alive frens ||-//

#tyler #tyler joseph #twenty one pilots #twenty øne piløts #top #21 piløts #21 pilots #frens #love #fans #fan

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theradicalfishdoctor · 7 years ago

Text

Tagged!

Thanks for tagging me @shingeki-no-shitty-glasses !

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better.

1. Nicknames: Don’t really have any nicknames since my name is pretty simple, but sometimes my friends call me Rad-kun （　´∀｀）☆ (but sometimes my friends call each other by character names, and in that case my nickname will always be the bae Hange)

2.Gender: Wamen

3.Star Sign: Taurus

4.Height: I’m pretty sure I’m 5′4 (i wish I was a tree ;-;)

5.Time: Tis 5:30

6.Birthday: May

7+8.Fav Bands: Hmm not really into any bands, but I love lots of Individual artists! Hiroyuki Sawano, Sebastiano Serafini, of course anything sung by Romi Park ,...(forgets everything else I’ve ever liked)

9.Song stuck in my head: It was literally that one song from Sweeny Todd a second ago but it just switched to Thanatos for some reason (I often get Sasageyo stuck in my brain though)

10.Last movie I watched: Unfortunately, my friends and I watched Twilight as a joke and it was very painful

11. Last Show I watched: Dunno if this counts as a show, but my friend showed me a beautiful series on youtube called Batman and Piderman y’all should watch it ^L^

12. When did I create my blog?: It was actually only about 4 months ago I think (`･ω･´)

13. What do I post: Oh boi I spam my followers everyday with copious amounts of Levihan and Hange appreciation (─‿‿─) (btw I’m sorry)

14. Last thing I googled: Oh.... L e v i h a n f a n f i c t i o n *is not surprised*

But the next searches are: Nyan Neko sugar girls (horrendously bad ms paint fanime) & h a n g e

15.Do I have any other blogs: Nope! But I actually hope to start another one soon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

16. Do I get asks: I would love to get asks from you dudes ;-; Don’t be shy friends!

17. Why I chose my URL: Actually I chose my name because it’s my lifelong dream to get a doctorate degree in marine biology, and I always say I want to be The Fish Doctor. But sometimes people interpret it as saying I am a fish that is a doctor which is also cool. Radical because I tend to overuse the word rad ;-;

18. Following: Dunno how to find how many peeps I’m following, but mostly friends/ levihan/ snk blogs (but also cool some other cool dudes)

19. Followers: 114 rad people! Appreciate y’all ★~(◠﹏◕✿)

20. Hobbies: Needlefelting, shipping, reading, fangirling, obsessing over my otp, researching sea creatures, eating

21.Average hours of sleep: 6-8 (*~▽~)

22. Lucky numbers: 9 (not sure why actually)

23. Instruments: Used to do violin but got discouraged and continuously didn’t practice

24. What am I wearing: Right now, wearing a red tank top and flowy thingy (like a .... flowy ..... cape shirt thing?)

25. Sexuality: Het.

but I respec all sexualities with all my heart (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

26. Dream job: Fish Doctor! But theres so many things I want to do ;-;

Psychology, video-game developer, youtuber, animator

27. Dream Trip: Japan & Sweden

28. Fav Food: Calamari/ Pulled Pork Sandwich/ dried cranberries

29. Nationality: American

30. Fav Song: Oh boi theres a ton

Bauklötze, Trisha’s Lullaby, I remember you (Adventure Time) , Blind alley (Ib)

Im tagging: (forgive me if you’ve already been tagged)

@h-a-n-j-i--z-o-e, @friedeyelidscollector , @aphcirclestealsursoulathogwarts , @echodragon214 , @eykonto , @huh-what-did-you-say , @thereal-hanji-zoe , @soulsuckingleech , @iamafreakingfangirl , @xgiigiix , @stohessdistrict , @anoushkathebest , @love--lemons , @why-all-da-feels , @lookingatthebigasstrees , @isathegeek , @sleepy-heichou , @hanjiist , @jean-kirschtein-rants

(also forgive me if I forgot anyone)

#thank for tagging me this was fun #i apologize if i was cringe-worthy #levihan is my city #ヽ(゜∇゜)ノ

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ubelyptus · 7 years ago

Text

soooooooooooo bb,,,...,.,,,strawberrry.

......I JUST FIND IT

interestinggggggggg

how you Big mad cuz MY block game seeems

skrong or summn

hanh???

oh.

well.

i never blockedt you

on snapchat

or whatsapp (you weren’t even muted),

yup, i still haven’t

but i didn’t have a properly working phone...

still......don’t

but either way you keep threatening to split on me

like a weapon…fcking

manipulative as shit

it just seems to me that you just want to?

you never imprinted tho

but she did

so why should you?

i won’t ever, again, fight....

….with you.

my favorite accomplice

i wanted to learn with an open mind

even after my phone died

how to remain soft with you.

even after being callled

“old news"

pffft

at least until

i ‘m eventually murdered by a cisgender man...

but

don’t fckn

pppppppop shit

cuz like….. literally…..all i did was change my url.

shit, i Only blockedt you AFTER i saw you referencing gaslighting.

bc uhmm IIIIIIif that is about meeeeeeeeeeee

ha!!!

how fucking dare you.…..lyk....wuhh?

like when you said there is no difference between syn and alesia?????

HANH?

oh, but you think i blockedt you first bc i didn’t wanna get my feelings hurt?

….mhhhhhhh. ok.

seeems odd since you’re not liar

right, eli????

but,,,,,so what’s this about the cozi password change? am i just shifting too rapidly between your and my reality???

bet.

no, i blocked you on things after THAT

AND THAT WAS TODAY

oh, and didn’t your friend, my so-called “fighting buddy,” anan…

.just,,,,,fckn block me like i’m useless

trash

randomnly

after all

i asked

was that they

not speak to me

about you?

but YAAAAAAS twas ONLY Me and simply Myself and just i

who ain’t wanna get….hurt.

hanh?????

oh ,

obvi,

yeaaaaaaa

yeeeei

truuuu,

sooooo

sssssorry,,,,but

calling me “old news” or saying i’m “old too”

don’t forget your girl is 2 yrs older than you

and then staying silent for these few days about changing passwords

that..... already did that, boo

at least i sent alesia third party emails thru the app, boo

she pushin 30 and can only talk you

venuse....????. no....a

talking and

w a l k i ng tragedy

entyway don’t bring that up just to be loud and wrong about that too

you’re not always wrong tho, you know

you’d probably fuck up and slit my throat

powertripping

when i’m wrong about you

and you can only do that if you

black and white

me out

to NEVER BE WRONG

AND I DO

ACTUALLLY HATE THAT ABOUT YOU!!!!!

WHY CAN’T I EVER BE WRONG, ELI????

WHY????//

OH your emotions....? about your father that after 6 yrs you didn’t tell me about?

your reality? when you have a habit of projecting?

and lowkey being dishonest

to yourself first

and then subsequently

to me????

your time? when i’m mostly on yours?????

your efforts? like ripping up notes and telling me

“my turn” to get fucked

by you

was over

when the only reason i was tiredt

was bc i crashed

too tiredt after explaining to You

that

i‘m not even going to LET you play middleman

for a baby pushign 30????

oh. bet.

but since we’re being transparent:

here are receipts with timestamps:

http://microhealer.tumblr.com/tagged/hop-hop-hop-hop

http://microhealer.tumblr.com/tagged/hop+hop+bun

http://microhealer.tumblr.com/tagged/hop-hop-bunny

yea you must love dirty laundry

oh.

but that’s what i knew about you.

oh:

be yr own guest my love

i Knew you would ignore the “old news” message since that's literally when you started telling on yourself

you do treat trans partners

like side hoes,

thasssa wholeBET

and some change

for you to create

cuz thassssssss

how you feel about me fr fr

so that “like” is mine but

i…..actually really Really love that you laughed tho.

bc i haven’t heard you fully belly laugh in a long time.

if ever iirh.

even after knowing you for 6+ years,

your supposed “first friend “ in the DMV

the person i can trust my life with

the only

you’re my only...

,,,,,even after i spiraled

and cut myself for the first time since middle school?

now my friends are fucking spotting you

and talking to each other

about you

oh, you didn’t know.

but i got mehndi done today

let a summer baby boy

love

a cut up

by me

body

before noon

today

thinking i’d see you and we could talk like,,,,

…..like real people do.

and you’d be distracted by the design and not zone in

on the failed cuts

on my wrist

since i’m shit at not just repeatedly carving into

white meat

when i can only use a ceramic blade

i just didn’t WANT you to

so i never “came home to [you]”

you said that on nov 4th/5th of last year

and

i’ve been looking up bpd all day

eventho i told you

i don’t trust the internet

sooooo you not telling me

didn’t hel p

but it’snot at all your job to

and i sitll

stilllstil stil stilllca’t see

....and i dind’t want you to see.

bc i’m not just a man.

i’m still femme

which you seem to love to forget

and still soft enough, i think.....

i hope…..or learning to be soft,,,,

where it won’t get me killed,,,,,

but where it still counts.

with…or without you.

either way i’m a man who loves you. a man whose phone died at 28% trying to get you to see that i was trying to be soft even after you called me

“old news”

but,,,,,.....,,,compared to …..who?????? sh....oooo??????

your new girlfriend who is 1 or 2 years older than you?????

and can’t speak to me

a man who is only barely out of 23???

and instead only whispers

to you?????

bruh, she’s clearly not fond of me.

and you’re not a liar ,

so don’t

she had to tell you that she wasn’t the one putting out “aggy energy”

specifically

during yennayer which

i ruined

and im still sorru

but which means

she’s probably done it in your apartment on purpose already, boo

didn’t think of that, did you

lingustically.,,,,,nope.

oh, but there’s power in a whisper, darling.

i am just cardinal like you

i am air too.

i should know

bc i accidentally whistled....and,,,,,,

i only blockedt you so that you wouldn’t “hurt [your] own feelings”

like you told anan you sometimes do.

sooooooooooooo yea... i

did it so you wouldn’t hurt you.

as cardinal water/pisces moons

are prone to do.

you can;t drain

and you can’t drown

ain’t that how i affirmed you

i already hurt me

when i dissociated

and i’m STILL FUCKING sorry

that there was blood that you had to see.

i couldn’t stay in my body long enough to clean fast enough

but i still didn’t want you to hurt you bc of me.

like you did repeatedly

bc of bpd or bc of basically cishet or at least cis ~queer girls

or other partners

like when you were with kat,

who’s still disgustingly attached to a messy white

and now a new black kid.....

or with shushoo.

and how you might with alesia.

no, correction: how you have with alesia.

how you will continue to, if you’re not careful, with alesia.

you’re a lion facing a prince of a house kitten ,....,

.,, who is homeless.

do you feel good, big boss?

all i asked was for you to listen t

o how you were speaking to me

on the phone

at your place of work

and when she’s there

possibly a place of worshiop

..... even after i told you

that i was intentionally putting energy into Not fighting you

and you

say you

"don’t wanna be a middle person"

but you also….wanna cape for yet another fucking cis girl.

who isn’t even muslim this time.

HOWtragic.

i couldn’t laugh

couldn’t ever laugh at sway

bc by whatever fortune if you do split or don’t

i still love you

i love you too much

but in those moments after that phone call….

after my phone died…

and my body couldn’t move to charge it.

wouldn’t move….

and all i could do was cry during the adhan.

bc you’re tooo much like matt now

i wish i knew what it could feel like to

hate someone

who called you

"OLD NEWS”

compared to a bitch pushing 30

youza WHOLE fuckn clown, dawg.

matt did this same shit

move me out for a new side bitch

yet anotehr cis

look at how cute trans love can be

no,

this is what you give me:

laughter.

BC what fucking luck.

BUT IT’S gotta be TROOF

s ince you don’t lie?/?

shit I LAUGHED TOO:

it sounds like….

NEITHER OF US

KNEW WHAT COULD

HAVE BROUGHT US

HERE, ELI.

maybe you nursing poison in your own home

and telling me i’m making you feel unwelcomed

on a blog and not to my face did it

fuckingggggggggg. why’ald.

you think it’s too much sweat????? false.

that apartment stayed cold.

too many tears?

ok ok yea troof.

but too much love? forreal?

we?????

ooooop

hoooop!!!

oh, you speakin’ french now. our collective colonizers tongue in 20gayteeeeeeeen?????

CAN’T RELATE

bc I’M TOOOOOO GAY

wow. we ruined it, fam???? fr fr?

nah, chosen fam.

you ruined us.

you ruined us over:

a cis girl and

your own impatience

and your own anger.

and my slow brain and my slow body

i’m not sure she’d find you from maryland

if you dissociated bc your other semi

but not

girlfriend emotionally abused you

until people who didn’t know you were muslim

thought you were fucking drunk

and you fucking stilllllll

work with her?????

why couldn’t you just wait until she found a new job???

ain’t she trying????

or izzzzzz she??????

hahhnh???

where was the damn rush?????

you’re like two goofy high schoool kids

reaching for the quickest nuts every 6 hours

like jesus fuck.

you’re irresponsible as shit telling me i’m a grown man making grown decisions and i see this

?????

unREASONABLE, ELI.

this isn’t a situation of a kettle calling a pot black

babe

bc i’m actually Black

and you’re not

but she’s black too.

what did i tell you:

"you datin’ two whole Niggas. if you fight me over her, you will lose either way.”

but instead you called me “obtuse”

SAT words for me

but not for you…….what.,,,.,,,,,,,, fckn luck……..

what luck,,,,,that the one person who housed me consistently

and kept me alive

when i trusted no one

would call me "old news”

and let their cis girlfriend

turn herself into your

personal "healing” …...

sibkid. \\\\

howTragic like all of CC’18

you know what happens when you slip and get sloppy and let a baby bitch be responsible for your healing?

she leaves.

for a real bitch

with microhealing abilities,

GOOFY.

she worships a new goddess every friday?????

well, i know only of orixas

and only of black power

but from what i know of goddesses OFF of OUR continent…

soooon...

at least one of them WILL want a soul from her

just letting you know it might not have to be hers.

…..OH!

and when i chargedt and openedt my phone after days of wandering. ….the last messages from you are:

YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID “LEAVE [[[[MMMMMYYYYYYY]]]]]] KEYS”

like a fucking baby.

imagine that.

even to you, i’m still a whore.

out…the…bakc….dooor.

??????

i couldn’t even work a john when i wanted to

if i was sad about you.

but imagine?????

a cis-pixie woman older than you

letting you treat her like a child?????

then

imagine me feeling shamed into leaving

bc of pictures of your smiling face

after i cut myself and felt shame

that

in your unwelcomed to both me and you

BLOOD

blood

is what brings me back

to life.

how.

fucking.

why’yald.

i blockedt you so that you didn’t lurk.

bc THat is what you do.

instead of speaking with me,

you seem to have expected me

to read your blog back 7 years.

and just know all of the fatherly things that trigger you.

like…even during the times when i was afraid of my own phone and laptop for 2 months bc of my sister, brother, and birth parents????

funny how i’m the youngest of us “grown folks” and yet still find that really

FUCKING

immature.

of YOU

to do

you really never knew me, or did you…..??

you donated to me before you even knew me.

so i know your heart has parts made of gold.

but now you show off your crystals and your gold.~~~

yep.

here we are.

you’ve "only every seen [me] as a boy.”

ok. bet.

and unti this post:

i’ve hardly heard you refer to me as a man.

so:

ain’t you late?

ain’t you late, babe??

ain’t you late?

i’m a year younger than you.

which means if you grown

i musta BEEN a man too, boo.

but you’ll always be

my favorite accomplice

and always be my favorite friend too.

but you cannot think you can play me by calling me

“old too” or “old news"

for young fish who is basically femme trade

and thinking i won’t cut open a fool.

which coincidentally always happens to be me

she’s hardly out to anybody important and lying at work too.

i must be bigger fool.

bc you knew better and didn’t do better.

but i’m being immature.

ok ...,.,,.,,

cute.

your pisces moon is keeping you from seeing clearly but that’s what young water seems…to do. to much light reflected; tho it is a fountain of youth.

she’s pushing 30 baby

but true, you’re her boo.

yea, a childish boo.

you ever wonder why her playlist from you had more songs than ours did?

why she can never keep a man around for valentines day?

oh but don’t you love “patterns”, baby????

unless it’s her leaving shit around the apartment

or her triggering you

or her treating your dick like it’s foreign,

even to you.

my gay ass was shookedt

when you told me you voluntarily

triggered yourself

for her kitty too

but i AM

a grown man

who is “running” from….you

you think that statement is not…. dishonest??

you really think that statement is true???

—

i didn’t run. i just

needed space

and you afforded me none.

you couldn’’t afford it.

february is before march which is before april

sooooooo it’s always a tight month ain’t it???????

oooooooh but you afforded her plenty.

she gets to take off her fucking pants while i try to figure out if i should move from a spot next to you….

on your fucking bed.

she took off her pants to climb near you before she could even say hi to

nooonoo

ahh right

and THEN ME.

“Oh, you CAN stay”

that’s what She told me.

and you said nothing.

so i left….the room.

i never run.

you pushed me out with your captain save-a-cis silence.

it’s violence.

and

you’re still pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing

until me…you know

i, the "old news”

just feels like he should just

fucking fall

onto the district streets

and she finds it

to her fucking fancy

to fall

into your lap

like a damn,,,,zel.

distressedt.

with a roof over her head outside of your apartment too.

woooooooops!

yip, as she is probably prone to do.

her kind….isn’t new….boo.

her kind isn’t new to me

her kind isn’t new to you

you ever wonder why she feels so familiar to you?

she reminds Me of the girl who told you

she could never marry you

and is now trying to date someone just like you

so don’t be so unkind to me

or to you

or be so foolish

as to believe i gave up on you

you gave up on me

and on top of that

you think i just...ran

ran….with what clothing?

the ones you packed up for me and left at the door

that i was suppose to pick up

and slide out the back….like a fucking whore?

you just tryna be

a cissie's bae

who stay clownin on trans folks now?

oooooooh issa bet, mo

. i mean.,,,.,,.mhhhh i guess?

—==—

but troooof, i don’t “need" anybody.

but i want you.

but you need her.

that’s how it work, don’t it?????

that’s why you risk job security every day.

and let her leave her panties on my clothes.

and let her tell me i "can stay" in …..A, not MY, spot next to you

in yo'bed?

what fucking fools. the two of you.

but “no one is forcing [me] to"

oh, baby you /are/ forcing me too

i look on your blog and then find out you’ve been feeling “unwelcome in [your] own home”

this whole fucking time

all the way since early november, innit?????

if i love you at all,

what else am i to do?????????????

??????????????????????????/

know that you will self-destruct

and just…wait for you to????????????????????

???????????????????????????????/

i didn’t run.

you just fucking pushed me.

and you’re still fucking pushing.

and you’ll keep pushing.

bc that is what you do.

embe…..@strawberreli

se sá’m te konne nu’ou.

you like microblogging so much

so like it if you read this shit

#ritten #pisces tw #solar cancer cw #cutting cw #self harm cw

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franruto · 7 years ago

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sasuke + the mountain goats songs

if this read more doesnt work on mobile im so sorry

so i was thinking about how many tmg songs could be applied to sasuke and i decided to make a list. tmg has an absurd number of songs and im doing this just from my fave albuns + a quick check so this list very probably isnt even complete. also, some of these songs are more sns than just sasuke but o well. if u have suggestions to add lmk

- no children: this might be the most sasuke song ever made. im going to put just the last part here but please listen to the whole song

I am drowning, there is no sign of land You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand And I hope you die I hope we both die

- autoclave: i lov this one and all of it is sasuke too so listen to the whole thing

When I try to open up to you, I get completely lost Houses swallowed by the earth, windows thick with frost And I reach deep down within but the pathways twist and turn And there's no light anymore and nothing left to burn I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam And no emotion that's worth having could call my heart its home

- heel turn 2:

Get stomped like a snake Lie down in the dirt Cling to my convictions Even when I get hurt

(...)

Spend too much of my life Now trying to play fair Throw my better self overboard Shoot at him when he comes up for air Come unhinged Get revenge (...) Let all the trash rain down From way up in the rafters I’m walking out of here in one piece Don’t care what comes after Drive the wedge Torch the bridge

- game shows touch our lives: gives me sad sns feelings

Shadows crawled across the living room's length I held onto you with a desperate strength With everything With everything in me And I handed you a drink of the lovely little thing On which our survival depends People say friends don't destroy one another What do they know about friends? Thunderclouds forming, cream white moon Everything's going to be okay soon Maybe tomorrow Maybe the next day

- oceanographer’s choice: this is one so fucking sad, it makes me think about sasuke trying to break his bond with naruto

I don't know why it's gotten harder to keep myself away Thought I'd finally beat the feeling back, it all came back today And then we fell down and we locked arms, we knocked the dresser over as we rolled across the floor I don't mean it when I tell you that I don't love you anymore Look at that, would you look at that? The way the ceiling starts to swerve What will I do when I don't have you? When I finally get what I deserve

- up the wolves: i really like this one for sasuke & i love john darnielle’s comment on it too so i’m going to include it here. “Part of me wants to say look it's about revenge, but as soon as I say that... no, that's not quite it. Part of me wants to say it's about the satisfaction of not needing revenge... and I say no, thats some new age stuff. I think it's a song about the moment in your quest for revenge when you learn to embrace the futility of it. The moment when you know that the thing you want is ridiculous and pompous and a terrible thing to want anyway. The direction in which you're headed is not the direction in which you want to go, yet you're going to head that way a while longer anyway cause that's just the kind of person you are.”

There's bound to be a ghost at the back of your closet No matter where you live There'll always be a few things, maybe several things That you're going to find really difficult to forgive

(...)

I'm going to get myself in fighting trim Scope out every angle of unfair advantage I'm going to bribe the officials, I'm going to kill all the judges It's going to take you people years to recover from all of the damage

- cry for judas: listen............

Some things you do just to see How bad they'll make you feel Sometimes you try to freeze time 'Til the slots are a blur of spinning wheels But I am just a broken machine And I do things that I don't really mean Long black night, morning frost I'm still here, but all is lost

(...)

Sad and angry, can't learn how to behave Still won't know how in the darkness of the grave

- outer scorpion squadron: ok this is darnielle’s comment on it again and he says it better than i could: “This is a song (...) for people like me, who have a strong indwelling evidently permanent urge to damage themselves or cut themselves off prior to some accomplishment or arrival at a place of comfort and happiness. I didn't succeed in my goal to not bum everyone out, but... In short, this is a song about trauma, and surviving it”.

If you really want to conjure up a ghost Cultivate a space for the things that hurt you most Rake the sands until they surface Bind their tiny eyes Stake out your position, let your armor fall Stay put 'till they find you, it won't take long at all Rake the sands until they surface Up they come, gone translucent They're coming up no matter what Fools rush in and the doors slam shut Ghosts of my childhood, stay with me, if you will Find a place where there's water, hold you under 'till you're still Rake the sands until they surface Don't let anybody call them ugly

- the young thousands: ok this one makes me think of pre timeskip sasuke who continues to live in his parents house and also has a lot coming in his future

Boats ease into the harbor bearing real suspicious cargo And the sunlight on the water sets a switch off in your brain The things that you've got coming will consume you There's someone waiting out there in an alley with a chain The ghosts that haunt your building are prepared to take on substance And the dull pain that you live with isn't getting any duller There's a closet full of almost-pristine videotape Documenting sordid little scenes in living color (...) The things that you've got coming will do things that you're afraid to There is someone waiting out there with a mouthful of surprises The ghosts that haunt your building have been learning how to breathe They scan the hallways nightly vainly searching for a sign

- hebrews 11:40: this is one of my faves tmg lyrics. think sasuke w/ orochimaru period

Bright candles in the manor Where the curse takes hold Bodies reassembling down where the worms crawl Make your own friends when the world's gone cold It gets dark and then I feel certain I am going to rise again If not by faith, then by the sword I'm going to be restored Build fires to keep the beacon flashing where the earth lies flat Blood calls to blood as the hours draw down, invent my own family if it comes to that Hold them close, hold them near Tell them no one's ever going to hurt them here

- deuteronomy 2:10: this one is esp relevant bc of The Last Uchiha stuff

Feel in my bones just what the future has in store

I pace in circles So the camera will see Look hard at my stripes There'll be no more after me

I have no fear of anyone I'm dumb and wild and free I am a flightless bird And there'll be no more after me

I sang all night The moon shone on me through the trees No brothers left And there'll be no more after me

- absolute lithops effect: i like to think of this one as sasuke healing

After one long season of waiting After one long season of wanting I am breaking open My insides are pink and raw And it hurts me when I move my jaw But I am taking tiny steps forward

After one blind season alone in here After one long, sweltering summer I'm going to find the exit And I will go to the house of a friend I know And I will let myself forget With a little water and a little bit of sunlight And a little bit of tender mercy, tender mercy

- rain in soho: i might just be indulging here because i listen to this song 10 times a day and its overall feel reminds me of sasuke

No promise sweeter than a blood pact Nothing harder to go through with than a vanishing act No morning colder than the first frost No friends closer than the ones we've lost Nothing sharper than a serpent's tooth Nothing harder than the gospel truth Though you repent and don sackcloth and try to make nice You can't cross the same river twice

(...)

No town more barren than our town No haven safer than the one they tore down No greater love than to lay my life down for a friend No sweeter pleasure than to see the credits clear through to the end

ok so this is the moment where i give up because holy shit. some honorable mentions that im too lazy to go into detail (keep in mind some of those have just like one line that reminds me sasuke): this year, the house that dripped blood, old college try, choked out (i SWEAR no double meaning intended), prowl great cain, magpie, heretic pride, all up the seething coast

@yondaiime hello im tagging u here

#im so tired im going straight 2 bed now #sasuke

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stylessemantics · 8 years ago

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11 Questions Tag

Rules:

1. Always post these rules. 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you. 3. Write 11 questions of your own. 4. Tag 11 people.

I was tagged by 3 cuties and I’ll be answering all their questions. Under the cut cause it’s 33 questions. Also I’m reposting my same questions cause not a lot of people have answered them, and I want to tag different people and have them answer the same 11 questions I came up with the first time I was tagged so... Let’s go! :)

@fairylightsstyles aka T’s Questions :D

1. Who is the person you admire the most? I’m going to go with my mom. cliché I know but she’s amazing. I also admire Ed Sheeran, Harry Styles, Emma Watson, etc etc etc.

2. If you could be in any television series what would it be? The Flash. I want to have super powers lol. Or maybe Sherlock Holmes or some comedy sitcom.

3. Best childhood memory? I’m going to go with going to New York for the first time ever. It was a long flight for 9 year old me (assuming i was nine, i can’t remember. Have to ask around)

4. Favourite song at the moment? Escuela De Calor by Radio Futura. It’s old and I’ve loved it for a while but recently I made a Guitar Hero 4 playlist with all the songs I loved to play when my brother and I jammed out and I was reminded of this hit. Play it first when I go to take a shower or whatever and put on that playlist. It’s such a dance-able song I’m very in love and know every beat and drop to it and always dance it very sexily.

5. Where is the place you feel most at home? Home. I wish I had some awesome thing I can say like some tree house or some hill or whatever but we don’t do those things here or live close by to one. Also I was never a leave my house walking to go over to some hangout place with my friends type of person. No one in this country is really. Specially when young. So I’m saying home feels like home. In my room. I hate being home though. Also my cousin’s place in Miami feels a LOT like home. Second home it is really.

6. What is the country you want to travel to the most? *brain from pinky and the brain voice* Same as it’s been the past 11 years, lovely: England.

7. What plans do you have for the summer? Summer? What is that? I go to college, I study in the summer :P But the plans are hopefully London in June or July. The opportunity struck and I’m almost fainting at the thought.

8. 3 guilty pleasure songs? No Reason Boner - NSP (i know all of it i’m sorry. Any NSP song really is... god damn. Also Dan I love you.) Persona 5 OST. (my brother’s fault. Completely) Undertale OST. (specially metaton’s theme, Bonetrousle and asgore’s theme... Oh and Final Sans fight theme... SORRY THIS GAME IS GENIUS) whoops.

9. If you could say something to the whole world, what would you say? LOVE LOVE LOVE. SPREAD LOVE IT’S NOT THAT HARD AND IT MAKES THINGS SO MUCH EASIER!!! TREAT OTHERS HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED. ALSO STREAM SOTT AND BUY HARRY’S ALBUM.

10. What is the best meal you’ve ever eaten? OMG I don’t know if it’s the best meal but it was the one that popped up the quickest, and technically I didn’t eat it, it was my mom’s plate; but there’s Peruvian place here and UGH! Apparently Perú has like THE best cuisine (according to my parents that have travelled quite a lot) and jesus lord everything we have eaten there is so good. Mom had... this amazing Salmon in fucking PASSION FRUIT SAUCE OMG PASSION FRUIT SAUCE GOES WITH EVERYTHING GUYS UGH NOW IM CRAVING IT.

11. Do you believe in ghosts? yes and no. if they are for real well then i don’t think i’ve done something wrong to anyone enough for them to spook me, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to be moving into some “rumour has it this house is haunted” place. If they aren’t real then good, but I’m not gonna go testing the theory and getting myself into some dark magic/spirit shit or using some ***** board (I’m not even saying the name of it)

@cheshirepuddin‘s questions <3

1. Who’s your role model? My Mom, Harry, Ed, Emma Watson, My Cinematography Language teacher, My Concept Art teacher, My Art Direction teacher.

2. What’s something you want to accomplish in the short term? Is losing weight a short term thing? Let’s go with that or finally finishing some of the million and one fics I’ve got collecting dust in my files.

3. What would you like to ask Harry? WOW uhm... On the spot I can’t think of a good enough question. I would ask him to recommend me one thing for every branch of art. A book, a song or artist, a movie, a painter or painting, etc etc etc. I would also ask him if he’d like to hang out later on and teach me things. Get your heads out of the gutter I mean it in the sense of teaching me art, writing, something he loves, something he thinks is his expertise. To spread knowledge with me. If he’d allow me to be with him as a little grasshopper for a while.

4. If you could travel through time once and then come back, would you prefer to travel to the past or the future? Why? Neither. I have a lot of things I would love to change but I also am kind of a believer that every single decision, no matter how small, makes you who you are. And although I could be a lot better, this is my life and I guess it’s not half bad. Also seeing the future scares me and I would hate to spoil my own ending to myself. Based on that thing about decisions, today my future can be one thing but tomorrow, based on what I do, it could be another. Also FLASHPOINT PARADOX GUYS. LORD TIME IS SO INTERESTING. Is there even a past to go back to? You’re telling me the past is happening RIGHT NOW in some other time and I can go to it? Or the future? Then why isn’t it happening now? What defines past and why can or would we be able to travel to it?

5. Where’s your favourite place you’ve been to? None of the places I’ve been seems to catch my eye enough for me to call them anything close to a favourite. That’s so sad wow.

6. Would you like to get married and have kids someday? yes yes yes. Would love to marry. Would love to have (3?) kids. Would love for one of them to be adopted.

7. Do you have a motto you live by? I thought I didn’t but I like to think I go with the treat others how you wish to be treated thing. Also I’m always telling my friends that emotions demand to be felt. That’s like my line. Emotions demand to be felt; even bad ones. What I will not allow you is to feel the bad ones for any longer than you have to ;)

8. Have you ever been in love? Are you now? I don’t think so. Unless we consider Harry and even I - with all my hopes that maybe someday we will meet and he’ll find me interesting enough to keep me around - can’t call this love. I don’t know him to be able to love him like... proper love him. So I don’t think I have been, and I don’t think I am now.

9. Which song reminds you of some time/someone/something very important to you? Any old song that my mom has ever shown me reminds me of her, cause she has amazing taste in music. Same with my dad or my mom or my best friends. There’s a song that reminds me of something important that has yet to happen though. My wedding. There’s a few songs I know I NEED to have at my wedding, and when they come up they make me think of me dancing them on that amazing day if it ever happens.

10. Do you pay attention to fashion trends? yes and no. I’m not up to date with fashion in general. I just see something I like and would love to try and I try to do it. I never rock anything so I go back to what I already know and call my comfort zone. I pay attention to them to some degree. They look great on other people and I never quite get to try them or buy anything similar, and when I do I don’t rock it so I don’t keep trying.

11. If you could change anything about your life, what would it be? Everything. Goes against my travelling in time answer but lord would I change it all. whoops. I would change a lot of it. Not all of it. Specially bad things.

@legend-waitforit-harry aka J’s Questions :P

1. What’s the name of your autobiography if you write one? I think it’d be a guide on how to laugh at yourself both because you’re a pity and because you have to let go of things. And I’d call it something like “Do as I say, not as I do. A guide to living with your damn brain.”

2. One incident you will never forget. STORY TIME! When I was a kid, around 6 years old maybe less maybe a bit more, no more than 8, I used to take afternoon english classes at the same school I went to in the morning. After classes were over we would run around and play with the rest of the kids that were in tutoring or english classes that were also out of their class already and waiting to be picked up. There is of course a “no running in the hallways” policy in pretty much every school. While playing something silly like tag or something we were chasing someone and I took the empty hallways as route. I had sandals that were slippery and I was running very fast. Right as this guy Ivan - who is a year younger than me and the principal’s secretary’s son- walked out of the classroom he was at. I can still remember it went in slow motion. Me putting my arms out and trying to stop running, him looking at me and going wide-eyed. Both of us screaming. My feet slipping and being unable to stop. And then black. LITERALLY. BLACK! You could have added the little hit signs they add to cartoons when people crash into each other. I opened my eyes and my vision was blurry and a teacher was helping me up. I was ok. I don’t quite remember how or where I landed. Ivan was crying and in pain. He had fallen on the very edge of the little step that divided the cement hallway from the actual court where we could play. I only had a scratch, a bit of pain in my arm that I think was what collided with him. I was fine and wondering why Ivan didn’t get up and continued to cry out “ouch ouch please”.

Ivan had split the back of his head open on the step. Just a bit. I think he had 10 stitches total. His mom arrived short after; like really short after. I think she was on her way to pick him up when it happened and arrived to the school to find his child wallowing in pain on the ground and with a cracked skull bleeding out. I hid. God I hid. I was so scared of my parents finding out, of Ivan’s mother finding out, of my parents having to pay Ivan’s then seemingly difficult operation (i was like 6 I thought the guy would die cause of me)

Ivan knows I guess, and his mom is the absolute sweetest woman ever and she never resented me for it, if she knows it was me. If they know it was me; they never showed. To this day my parent’s don’t know. Or I think they don’t. Ivan and I get along good and we were friends while we were in school. Don’t know if he even remembers it was me who accidentally crashed into him. The next day at school all of the kids that were there that afternoon (we all went to the same school the ones who took classes in the afternoon there) were called to the principal’s office and I remember my principal asking “who crashed into him?” and the second grade teacher legit pulling my by the shoulder shoving me in front of the group and I was almost weeping. I don’t think I got any punishment other than a warning and an obvious lesson.

Do not run in the hallways.

3. Lyrics that means a lot to you. Que todo tiene su hora, debajo del sol naciente, ya viene tu amor bendito de nada vale ser impaciente. Juan Luis Guerra’s Todo Tiene Su Hora

You can’t bribe the door on your way to the sky. You look pretty good down here but you ain’t really good - Harry Styles’ Sign Of The Times

It’s alright to cry, [...] It’s alright to die cause death’s the only thing you haven’t tried [...] So live life like you’re giving up, cause you look like you are. - Ed Sheeran’s Even My Dad Does Sometimes.

4. You’re winning a Nobel Peace Prize. What’s the cause you worked for? Nothing lol I’m definitely not winning one of those. I’m thinking equality. Gender equality, race equality, culture equality, respect for human rights. That or some psychology topic I expressed in some book (NOT SELF HELP I HATE THOSE) in a way that makes it relatable and everyone laugh. Like why be happy when you can be normal? (that is an actual book)

5. If you are given all the money in the world but need to have a new identity, who are you and where are you? I’m still me and I live in England. Don’t ask.

6. Mountain or ocean? Both. Never been to a mountain tho but I want to go and I’m not sure it will mark a significant decision over these two. I’m always going to like something that is not staying home.

7. If you were asked to do something out of your comfort zone, what would it be? Definitely Model. Whatever it is, taking photos of me, my face, my body, my hands, my feet; whatever it is you could model... Just no. I’m terrified of the thought and I would be so uncomfortable knowing the results would be awful and everyone would hate them or that at least I would.

8. If you can kill anyone without any repercussions who would you kill and why? No one. I don’t think I will kill anyone. You can joke all you want about someone being very nasty and whatever but I would never. If you give me a repercussion-free bullet, I hope and pray I never have to use it. I only would in defence of my family and loved ones.

9. Any childhood nightmares? My parents suffering some accident in one of their many travels. To this day I think that’s the biggest nightmare.

10. A song that makes you cry. Even My Dad Does Sometimes - Ed Sheeran Fall - Jonas Brothers. Supermarket Flowers - Ed Sheeran Cuando Te Beso - Juan Luis Guerra.

11. Recommend me: a song, a book and a movie. (Sorry, Iv! Stole your question) YOU THIEF! No jk, it’s fine. Uhhh. A Song: look at my song rec tag I don’t think I have a good one right now. I love too many songs. Let’s go with Harry’s unreleased tracks. I recommend those. Also To Die For by the Bohicas cause it just came up.

A Book: My teenage-self is screaming at me to recommend you Elizabeth Scott’s Bloom, or Heather Brewer’s The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod (THAT I STILL HAVE TO FINISH, GOD DAMN)

A Movie: it’s sad to admit but I don’t have a good movie to recommend you. Maybe The Green Mile if you want to cry and have your life shaken up, watch it. It shattered me. That movie fucked me up. I still have flashbacks to it and fucking weep.

I’m tagging: (different people than i did the last time): @team-styles @honeyskins @moonchildstyles @stylesprimes @yeshaddy @weeklyfangirl @stylesunchained @a-butterfly-on-his-tummy @secret-rendezvous1d @cuddlemusclestyles @whoopsharrystyles

My questions: (once more):

Do you have a favourite pet name? What is it and why, and if you don’t have/don’t like pet names; why?

Tell me a Joke:

Are you a plant inside the house person? If yes; fake or real plants. if not: why?

Take me down memory lane and tell me a first. (first tattoo, first kiss, first time you saw the colour pink idc, just take me with you)

Pick one of Harry’s 8 unreleased songs and give me a prediction. What does it sound like? What is it about? Get creative and write a verse of the song if you want. Just for funsies!

You’ve just won a Grammy/Oscar/Emmy/IDK. Thank you speech? Go:

Fill in the blanks: I instantly smile when _____ because _____

Favourite Harry Trait? #AHarryLovePlatform.

What don’t you understand? (besides this question, come on, be creative) ((example: IDU how people don’t like Harry Styles))

If a sandwich was named after you, what would it be called (your name or something else)? What did you do to earn that honour? What’s in it? (taken from my 1 page at a time daily creative companion book)

Recommend me: a song, a book and a movie. (they can be Harry inspo or not. Just give me art!)

#11 questions challenge #11 questions tag #tag #i was tagged #tumblr shenanigans #tumblr shenanigans with people i love #I'm sorry #this is long #about me #personal

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