#i always feel bad like maybe it doesn't seem like i care in return bc i'm offline a lot now but i really do!! i care a lot!! love y'all xox

[holocene-sims]

a sneak peek for an upcoming (timeline tbd) update 😊

[yesimwriting]

Normalcy

A/n deadpool and wolverine drabble bc the movie was a little too good

Summary: Still reeling from the loss of your powers, you struggle to hold it together inside the TVA's void. Thankfully, you find an uncharacteristically peaceful distraction in your old friend Deadpool and in the wolverine variant who wants nothing to do with you.

Warnings/info: reader is a (former) avenger (bc i love the avengers <3), reader is described as having similar powers to wanda and having trained with her (bc i love wanda), implied beginning of an accidental love triangle if you squint ig, maybe too much lore for a drabble (?), me writing for characters for the first time so be nice 😭

----

The lines etched into your palms do not bend and twist to spell out secrets, there are no messages worth decoding pressed into your skin. Knowing this is not enough to stop you from staring at your hands like if you could just think about it hard enough...

"There you are, Peanut." The words are so warm you're briefly pulled out of your internal angst. You straighten, head lifting slightly and arms crossing in front of your chest. "Thought I lost you."

Wade continues forward until he's directly in front of you. He pauses, watching you with an unabashed openness that you'd only ever allow him to get away with. "Kidding," he tries, "I'd never lose you."

The familiarity of the casual affection eases you further, the corner of your mouth tugging itself upwards. "I was like 15 feet away from you."

"Sorry for caring." It's his go to comeback when it comes to defending the displays of affection you have the audacity to find overdramatic.

You blink, lips parting despite your lack of response. The world has felt a little slower these last few days, moving at a pace that leaves you with no choice but to reflect. Maybe it's the void.

"Hey," his voice feels a little flatter without his usual humor, "Are you okay?"

You let out a breath, shocked by this new low. Sure, you've known Wade for awhile and you've both seen each other through plenty of stages, but he's never felt the need to attempt a genuine pep talk for you. He's never struck you as the pep talk sort...for anyone. Do you really seem that off?

It's bad enough that your identity crisis has stolen the abilities that would have helped your trio pop out of the void with no real fanfare, you can't also make your insecurities everyone else's problem. "Yeah." The response doesn't feel convincing, but with Wade wearing the Deadpool mask, it's hard to be sure. "Just y'know...we're in a void and our reality might be ripped apart, so I've been better."

He's still watching you with a level of focus that's unnerving. You've gotten used to his familiarity, his lack of care for personal space or the social rules around watching people. "You're doing it again."

"Seducing you with my ability to have a heart to heart while looking this good in my suit?"

You sigh in an attempt to dismiss your slight smile. Happy or sad, superhero that once fought Thanos or regular person that can't regulate their emotions, Wade always treats you the same. "The staring thing. You said you'd stop."

"No, you said I'd stop." The correction is a return to what you're used to. He takes a step towards you, his proximity now forcing you to tilt your chin up slightly to look him in the eye. "I'd never promise to look at you less."

"Comforting."

He angles his chin downwards, making the limited distance feel more significant. "I thought so." For a moment, he's quiet in a way that doesn't feel very him. "Are you sure you're...good?" His hesitance is another reminder that this is far out of his element. "I know this is your first..." Wade's rarely careful, only ever treading lightly on the one subject you never want to bring. "Outing, since..."

"I lost my powers."

Wade goes quiet again. If this conversation is as inevitable as it seems, a part of you wishes it could have come up elsewhere. Maybe in your shared apartment, definitely without the mask so you could better interpret his reactions. It's not often you keep secrets from him, but the hollowness you feel knowing the part of yourself you've lost isn't something you can just share.

It's more than just about missing your party tricks, it's about losing a part of yourself. They were all that was left of your time with the Avengers, of what Wanda taught you before Westview.

He lets out a breath. "They're not lost." You raise your eyebrows slightly, giving him a look meant to caution him against sympathetic optimism. "We don't know that."

He seems so happy to be able to tell you that there's no proof that any and all magical abilities have been flushed out of your system, you don't have it in you to remind him that that's mainly because you have no one to ask. What's left of the Avengers and your government connections either barely understand what you were or are untrustworthy.

"Educated wish?"

His mask muffles a slight gasp. You press your lips together in an attempt to resist smiling. "The last one worked out great."

Your eyebrows pull together skeptically, a reminder that the two of you are still technically in the middle of the last educated wish he attempted to speak into existence. "Didn't Wolverine stab you multiple times--"

He cuts you off with a heavy sigh. "If I took getting stabbed personally, do you know where we'd be?"

In a reality where Wade holds grudges over those kinds of things, you wouldn't be anything to each other, except maybe enemies. You've never pulled a knife or sword or anything sharp on him, but when you first met he did startle you before you had a total grip on your abilities, which resulted in him getting thrown through a wall.

"I never stabbed you."

His hand finds your shoulder. You let him drag his thumb against against the fabric of your suit. "And that's how I know you really love me, Peanut."

You roll your eyes in an attempt to dislodge the warmth that settles in the pit of your stomach. The last thing Wade needs is encouragement. "I mean, I do go around stabbing everyone I like less than you."

He lets out a sound that feels like a scoff attempting to mask itself as a dry laugh. "There's the sense of humor that'd hurt me if I knew you less."

"Well--"

He squeezes your shoulder, "I know you." Okay. You'll let him have this one because maybe there's some truth to what he's saying. "I'm going to go check on the car, because a fucking Honda Odyssey would break down on us for no reason before we got to the fight."

"For no reason or because of the bitch fight you and Wolverine had in it?"

There's a beat of silence in which all you can do is try to imagine Wade's expression behind the mask. You'd like to think that he's smiling. "Oh, Pumpkin." He sighs as if you've stumbled onto saying something terribly naive. "It wasn't a bitch fight, it was awesome, and probably turned you on."

You deadpan a flat, "You caught me." He hasn't let go of your shoulder, and a part of you is oddly glad for it. "I'd offer you help with the car, but..."

You're self aware enough to acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses, car maintenance being the latter. Wade doesn't even let you get your oil changed by yourself anymore.

"I've met you." He squeezes your shoulder again, the gesture weirdly stabilizing. "Give me 15 minutes to actually look at the car and then I'm all yours."

Wade lets go of you, his arm falling to his side. "Aren't you always?"

He lets out an exaggerated gasp. "You're making me feel cheaper than my usual rate, Peanut."

You smile as he turns away. Things are always a little easier with Wade. It's more than just distraction, it's his way of making things feel a little lighter. You're not sure what to do with your 15 minutes of solitude to avoid falling back into self pity.

You originally broke away from the group of void trapped heroes under the premise of needing fresh air, but even here, with the expansive, sparsely wooded area at your disposal, the oxygen in your lungs still feels flat. If Wanda were around, you'd be able to ask if she felt the strangeness of this other plane of existence as well. At least then you'd know if your dislike of the void is only mental or an actual sign of life from your abilities.

You begin to walk forward, hoping to shed all thoughts of both your former self and the eeriness of this other world. There are other people you could talk to you. The others have been polite enough, or at the very least, passionate enough to be talked into facing Cassandra.

The trees you've been wandering through grow in their sparsity, the edge of the woods revealing a patch of grassland highlighted by a fire's warm glow. You squint past the tree line, attempting to make out the figure sitting in front of the flames. Wolverine.

Secluded from the group and staring at a campfire. Surprising. Though, you guess it's not fair to judge him too harshly, you left the group to brood as well.

He doesn't like you, doesn't know you well enough to dislike you, but it took him no time to find a way to get around that. Maybe it's your proximity to Wade. You've done your best to take his hostility as un-personally as possible. You've seen enough people you really care about go through the guilt ridden, fallen hero thing to know how deep that kind of hurt runs.

You've never known a Wolverine or Logan Howlett variant, so you have no way of knowing what he was like before. Sure, you've heard stories, but you're also overly aware of how the media can twist and turn those stories to fit their narrative. One day, a superhero is the world's greatest protector, and the next their the greatest menace. Maybe he was always a little dark, or maybe he wasn't.

"Don't just stand there." The gruffness of his voice startles you more than it should.

Heat crawls up your neck, a part of you more embarrassed than you should be. You weren't lurking, or at the very least, you weren't trying to.

You sigh as you abandon the safety of the tree line. "Sorry." He turns his head away from the fire. "I wasn't--I was just walking."

He's quiet for such a long moment you almost expect him to not respond at all. "Without your shadow?"

Wow, only a halfhearted dig at Wade. You must have caught him in a good mood. "Friend, and he's looking at the car. I'd be looking at the car with him, but I figured the odds for tomorrow are bad enough as is."

Another uneasy stretch of silence. "Yeah." There's not much, if anything, to take from the comment. "If you're here to convince me to go with you guys tomorrow--"

"I'm not." It's an honest answer. You had been walking around aimlessly and happened to stumble onto him. "I'm not into the pep talk thing." He scoffs, the sound lacking in genuine aggression. "What?"

He lifts his gaze from the fire, his eyes settling on some point past the horizon. "I thought you were an Avenger."

You're not sure what bugs you more, the fact that he's so sure he has you all figured out or the implication that the Avengers spend their days encouraging each other instead of actually doing things. What the Avengers are--or maybe were--is so much more than that.

You step forward, further separating you from the cluster of trees. "The Avengers are about a lot more than that."

His attention briefly shifts onto you before returning to the flames. If the silence is meant to be dismissive, it doesn't feel that way. There's a patience there that doesn't suit his usual brooding.

"Do you care if I sit?" The question is forced out before you can overthink it. "I promise no inspirational speeches or small talk."

After a beat, he dips his chin downwards in a nod so subtle you would have missed it if you had been watching him any less carefully. You're more relieved by his acceptance than you should be, your feet carrying you towards the campfire.

You sit at a polite distance, knees bent in front of you. His silence seems to push against the void's sluggishness. Maybe the issue has been you fighting this world's momentum.

"Why are you with him?" You're not sure if you're more shocked by the question or the break in silence. When all you can do is blink, he continues, "You seem--" He subtly clears his throat, as if struggling to admit this next part, "Nice, normal."

Oh. If you had been focused, you likely would have got what he meant without the clarification. "I know Wade's a lot--especially to you." You place a hand against your knee, thinking about that very specific safety you only feel with Wade. You don't have to try at being anything, or worry about earning your keep in any capacity. "But once you get to know him, he's a good friend."

You look away from the fire pit in time to see the skeptical look Logan throws in your direction. "I'm serious." His expression doesn't change. "He um--after I stopped being important to everyone else, he still liked me ." This isn't the conversation you wanted to stumble onto, especially not with someone who you barely know and actively dislikes you. "That sounds kind of dumb, but the point is, he's loyal."

He turns his head back towards the fire. "You always call him by his name." The observation is so stiff you'd consider it hesitant if it came from anyone else.

You've never thought much about Wade's name. Part of it is familiarity, and the rest of it is a force of habit. Even when you were with the Avengers, you preferred using actual names when off duty. It's easier to separate the mask from the person beneath it when you make an active effort to.

You shrug. "I'm not into off duty superhero names, Wolverine."

He falls silent again. You concentrate on the flames, the way they illuminate the world around you. "You can--" He cuts himself off, attention never wavering from the fire. "You can call me Logan, if you want."

An unsteady warmth roots itself in your chest. You didn't expect any sort of kinship between you and the wolverine Wade stole from some other timeline beyond him occasionally accepting your attempts at creating peace between him and Wade.

"Okay," you focus on keeping your tone measured, avoiding any emotions that might startle him, "Logan."

There's no tension in the quiet that follows. You let the minutes pass until you're certain that Wade's waiting for an interruption disguised as an attempt to help. "I should go, Wade's probably waiting for me."

You push yourself to stand. You let yourself glance at him one last time before turning towards the trees you emerged from.

[emilicious0]

okay, so, im finding myself more and more attracted to Valentino. I mean im starting to simp ��‍💫💀

so i'd love to see some gen sfw (and nsfw if you can but dont have to)

Maybe he started to like one of his workers or something (fem if possible but gn is fine)

He could like, work her with clients less and stuff, less videos, maybe less drugs 💀 anyway imma hop off now 😩

f!reader x valentino sfw and nsfw headcanons

TW: VALENTINO, abusive behavior, mdni

SFW

□ he really thinks he treats all of his workers good, which is kinda true (I strongly headcanon that v's may be a band of psychos, but they appreciate hard work and always offer good salaries)

□ you get a good amount of money and thats the reason you work so good as his assistant

□ he notices the hard work and slowly starts to treat you more like a friend (in his own way, like slapping your butt or whistling whenever you are passing by)

□ that behavior lasts for some time, until he sees you on your day off in a club with some other demon (who was your friend)

□ the two of you seem close and youre hugging each other, which made valentino see red

□ he was ready to jump inside and kill the bitch who dared to touch you, but vox called in asking him to be immeadiatly back in their tower for a meeting

□ after that valentino realises his feelings for you

□ the butt-slapping, cat-calling didnt stop and only became worse

□ he would call you nicknames now, the most used one is "baby"

□ you would get a lot more money than anyone else

□ also loves when you praise him

□ a drama queen, who loves when you take care of him (buying ice cream)

□ would try to trick you into making a deal with him (but he would eventually give up on that idea, since he wants you, to want him too)

□ actually tells you everyday how he loves you, or how beautiful you are, only to yell at you next moment for not loving him back

□ he would come to you drunk crying and you have to take him to bed and tuck him in

□ if you accept his feelings and you become a couple, he immediately fires you

□ becomes your sugar daddy, who asks for every second of your time in return

□ carries you around like a treasure, showing you off to everyone

□ gives you small gifts everyday, and not so small gifts too

□ he is the type to forget about the anniversary, but feel bad about it later

□ despite him being still physically active with his workers and vox, he is romantically absolutely yours

□ he has hard time listening for your problems, but he comforts you wrapping his wings around you and kissing you

□ he has hard times understanding a lot of things about your problems (hard for him to be there for you), but he tries to do it in his own way (physical affection)

□ valentino has his episodes when he bursts and shouts at you and everything, apologizing afterwards, but they will happen again

□ kinda enjoys scaring you, but with you it's never about physical abuse, more like teasing

□ sleeps more calmly next to you

□ doesn't allow you to leave him (it will crash him in every possible way if you do, resulting him to become obsessive and start stalking you)

NSFW

□ has any possible kink in existence

□ inpatient, rough

□ loves edging, into degrading (loves to degrade and wants to degrade you)

□ public sex is his favorite one (as well as group one)

□ roleplays with you a lot of his crazy scenarios

□ makes you watch him fuck with others (doesn't let you do the same)

□ but your sessions with him are super private bc they are different

□ switch (hard dom/top, soft sub/bottom)

□ loves seeing you on your knees for him

□ seeing you cry is his favorite turn on

□ threesome with vox✌️

[chaifootsteps]

I've seen fanart of Stella/Striker floating around and the more I think about it the more interesting it could be

so like, at first Striker has contempt for Stella bc she's another noble, she seems like an airhead but they can both agree that Stolas sucks so he takes the contract. money's money

but then Striker finds out about the arranged marriage. how Stella was forced to give birth to Octavia on top of that and even worse, how she was the one putting in the effort in the bedroom to do what their family expected of them (and then Stolas turns around and claims he was the only one trying). how it made her feel victimized all over again. how she had mixed feelings about Via but maintained enough of a relationship with her that Via didn't know she and Stolas weren't getting along for yrs & yrs on end

how Stolas made her feel unattractive and unwanted and just a prop being used by his family. how she maybe realized at some point that he was likely gay and would never want her, but their families married them off so young Stolas may have just buried the truth about his sexuality bc he thought it was the thing to do

how he always saw himself as the sole victim of the scenario despite him having magic and more power than her, and she was forced to bear his heir for the families sake. how she has to play the part of the socialite and her only outlet is venting to her friends about her sucky husband. how despite it all she fears Stolas turning Via against her because Via takes her after him so much in looks she sometimes feels she doesn't exist. how Stolas mocks her for not reading despite his family never caring if she's well-educated or not, how he can't even respect her material possession which she has to cling to bc they're all she has. and she hates who she is around Stolas - that anger at him is what the family has reduced her to and she never got the opportunity to be anything other than that. how she feels she can't self-actualize in any meaningful way bc being 'Stolas' wife' is all society ever allowed her to be, and then it & Stolas turned around and villified her for not being good at it like that ever would be enough for her

and Stella in turn has her eyes opened to how bad it is for imps. how they have to scrape and scratch to survive, how the imp she resented so much for cheating with her husband has in fact been coerced into a monthly deal for sex, exploited just like her, in return for the spellbook that Stella thought Stolas was supposed to be protecting with his life. not only is her husband far worse than she already thought he was, his power comes from marginalizing imps like Striker, who's sharp-egded and wrathful but also 100% hitting the nail on the head when it comes to how little royals do for themselves and how they literally fuck over the poor.

for this ship to ever work I think Stella would have to give up her royal position, but honestly with how little joy she's allowed in her own life I don't think that's a big sacrifice. maybe once she and Striker are done with Stolas, she escapes the royal system entirely and out into Hell and Striker and her get on good terms with IMP, helping elevate the business with her remaining funds. or maybe she and Striker just have a high old time getting revenge on all the Goetias that screwed her over in the process & both of them become ride or die for each other in the process

(don't get me wrong, I'm BlitzStrike over this ship but it definitely has potential. mostly I just want a 'For everyone personally victimized by Stolas' support group/polycule to happen)

And that's as valid and noble a shipping goal as any!

[changanomaly]

Anyways. Dundie imagines and hcs and other things that pop into my brain about them because I think about them a lot and I hope someone out there cares as much about them as I do or likes them a normal amount and would also be as interested in reading this bullet point list I've made

They're very, very queer. I am just unable to tell you in what way but they ARE trust me

Duncan fell first AND harder. Sadie admits to it first.

They're long distance but they both always try to meet up whenever possible- esp Duncan, not that Sadie doesn't try bc she does but! there was this one time in like Christmas break where Sadie got a phone call from prison and it was Duncan telling her that he fit himself in a suitcase and illegally got into her hometown but don't worry he's gonna break out (she ended up getting him out instead)

Sadie (and Katie who she brings along when she can which is often) do Duncan's nails. He's been doing them himself prior and they're chipped and gross looking and are obviously ONE COAT only which they both say is stupid if he's picking BLACK nail polish like smh

I think Sadie, while bringing out his nicer side, brings out Duncan's awkward side just as much. She swoons easily over him but she's equally as unintentionally charming as he is smooth and it catches Duncan off guard.

Duncan grew out his mohawk after the show because at some point Sadie was trying to braid it while they were hanging out in this awkward point between their like friends and their feelings blossoming. She was a bit sad that she could barely make it into a braid and he. HE REMEMBERS!! and it's only barely braidable but it made Sadie sooo happy

Duncan and Sadie both like being little spoon. THEY TAKE TURNS!!

Sadie made him a little friendship bracelet and he's like so attached to it. He made her a skull in return and AUGHH they're so cute

In terms of love language, Sadie's the type to like giving words of affirmation (she really likes expressing herself verbally, always speaks what's on her mind about him and it's often nice, makes cute nicknames) and Duncan's the type to enjoy gift-giving (he's spraypainted her so many murals in random alleyways) (they both love that abt each other btw.)

Sadie calls him various things. "Duncey" sticks, obviously, but she's tried stuff like "pumpkin" and "sweetie" which he seems to like. She calls him snookums sometimes too and he comments on how they sound old and married. She blushes, he blushes, and they stare for a bit before going back to what they're doing.

Duncan tries to respond back by calling her stuff like his "main squeeze", "sunshine" and "charmer". He also lets her call him by his middle name when they're alone. (I think it's Tate. He looks like a Tate.)

Duncan thinks it's kind of corny but sort of endearing but. They do good night and good morning texts (Sadie initiated and he thought it was adorable and they haven't stopped since)

Duncan usually just sends her pictures of his random alley murals but figured out how to send stuff over to her house and mailed her a brick that he spray painted a small mural on for her. She has it on her desk (which she thanks god can hold it).

Sadie always ends up giving him small trinkets she like to make in return. Made him a little skull pin and gave it during Christmas and he's keeps it wherever he goes even when he doesn't wear it.

Duncan tries to tease her all the time and it seldom works and she usually replies in earnest which flusters him real bad. It's so damn cute.

But when he gets her OHO he gets her GOOD. She starts blubbering about and giggling. Which still flusters him so bad.

This especially happens when they watch horror movies together. Sadie's scared of most of them and clings onto Duncan for dear life when they watch it at home and like. He thinks it's so cute aghh!!

Their future domestic life is kind of bliss. They share an apartment, have a cat and a couple lizards and spiders, maybe. Whenever it's the other's turn to cook they always hug em from behind.

Whenever they visit each other or get to meet up they always leave something with the other person by accident. Duncan has multiple of Sadie's jackets and wears them sometimes and keeps forgetting to return them. Duncan usually leaves his shirts but Sadie actually remembers to return them.

[rainisawriter]

hihi! can i request for tsukasa (h&l) with a jealous reader, like tsukasa has been receiving gifts from girls, and reader gets insecure bc she couldn't give him a gift. but, one day, reader finally gives tsukasa a gift and tells him how she felt insecure and then tsukasa just hugs her and tells her that she doesn't need to give her gifts bc (author, you continue:) )

(sorry for my bad english😓)

A Gift for You (Tsukasa)

Word Count: 3,581

Genre: Angst, fluff

A/N: Thank you so much for your request, I appreciate it! ^-^)/ Sorry it took me so long to get this out. I hope you enjoy it and, hopefully, it's what you were looking for~ Your English is fine, by the way, don't even worry~

━━━━━━༻❀༺━━━━━━

You knew what you were getting into when you started dating Tsukasa. Despite being a delinquent, he was one of the prettiest, kindest boys you've ever met and you weren't the only one who felt that way. Girls were always fawning over him, staring shamelessly as he passed. Hell, even some guys couldn't help staring at him.

To your credit, it didn't bother you for a long time. It wasn't until the two of you were in your senior year of high school that it started to chip away at your confidence. The girls approaching him were so pretty, bringing him different gifts every time he headed to or from school. There was one in particular that seemed hell-bent on getting his attention and she just happened to be the most beautiful girl you've ever seen.

You often found yourself picturing them together and you hated how perfect they looked. In your mind, she would look a lot better hanging off his arm than you did. Besides, she was rich and could afford to bring him expensive gifts and baked goods. Your family didn't have a lot of money so you couldn't afford to buy him anything despite wanting to.

It was honestly frustrating.

Did she know that he was dating someone? You didn't want to bother him with something like this so you decided to take things into your own hands. You left school early one day, hoping to catch her before she could approach Tsukasa again. Maybe if you cleared things up and told her that he was taken, she would stop giving him gifts and waiting for him every day.

There she was, leaning against a wooden fence with her phone in her hand. A plastic bag hung from her arm and you could see the top of a red ribbon sticking out of the top - a present, no doubt. You took a deep breath to calm yourself before approaching her with a kind smile.

"Excuse me?"

She glanced up, sent you a disinterested look, and returned to her phone.

Despite finding this to be quite rude, you kept your tone friendly. "Are you waiting for Tsukasa-kun?"

Her eyes narrowed at you as she straightened her back. "Yeah, so what?"

"Well, I just thought you should know he's seeing someone."

"So?" she quirked a brow, hand on her hip. "If he's accepting my gifts, clearly he isn't happy with his girlfriend. I bet she can't even afford to buy him anything he deserves."

You visibly winced at the comment, feeling as if her words were arrows piercing your skin.

"Oh my god, it's you, isn't it?" She smirked, looking you up and down. "No wonder he's seeking attention in other girls."

"Tsu-kun is too nice to flat-out reject someone," you told her, doing your best not to let her words get to you.

She giggled loudly, bringing a manicured hand to her mouth. "Oh, honey, is that what you tell yourself to help you sleep at night? I bet he's only with you because he feels sorry for you! You must know that, right? If you really care about him, you should let him go so he can be with someone who actually deserves him."

Before you could even reply, she turned on her heel and walked away, flipping her wavy hair over her shoulder. You swallowed hard, unable to move from where you stood. Was she right? Was Tsukasa only dating you because he felt sorry for you?

You felt as if you were at risk of losing him. After all, what kind of partner were you if you couldn't even give him a simple gift? Your fists clenched at your sides, determination burning in your eyes.

━━━━━━༻❀༺━━━━━━

"Damn it, you won again!" Fujio groaned, tossing his cards onto the table. He and the rest of his faction were sitting on the roof of Oya High.

Jamuo grinned, wrapping his arms around the stack of snacks and pulling them closer. "Thank you, Fujio-san!"

"Tsukasa~" Fujio pouted at his best friend as if he could somehow fix the problem.

The blonde shrugged from his place on the couch, one arm slung over the back and the other resting over your shoulders. "I told you not to go all in."

His eyes fell on you next and you laughed.

"Tsu-kun did tell you. You should have listened."

"I want to go again!" he declared, eyes narrowed in determination. "All in, Jamuo!"

The shorter boy pretended to think about it for a moment before shaking his head, a grin on his lips. "I don't wanna!"

"Oh, come on! I'll definitely win this time!"

"I'm not taking that chance. These snacks are mine!"

Tsukasa shook his head as the two continued arguing, a smile tugging at his lips. Your eyes fell on him and you also smiled, feeling your heart skip a beat as it did every time you looked at him. The sun was beaming down on him, making it appear as if he were surrounded by a soft glow. It had been a few weeks since your confrontation with that girl, but her words often replayed inside your head.

Your phone vibrated in your pocket and you tugged it out, quickly turning off the alarm you had set. It was time for you to leave but it was always hard coming up with an excuse that your boyfriend would believe. He was frustratingly perceptive, usually able to pick up when he was being lied to. Not only that, but he was also quite protective over you and he didn't like you going around on your own.

You cleared your throat before standing up from the couch, offering your friends a smile. "I need to get going. I'll see you guys later."

"Bye," smiled Jamuo, offering you a small wave.

"Take care!" Fujio smiled at you before attempting to take one of the snacks, his hand being smacked by Jamuo. "So mean!"

Tsukasa stood up without hesitation. "I'll walk you home."

"No need," you replied quickly, smiling reassuringly at him when he furrowed his brow. "I'm meeting up with my cousin."

"I can still walk you there."

"It's okay, really. You need to stay here and keep Fujio from losing his mind over his loss," you joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Tsukasa observed you for a moment, lips pursed and brow furrowed as he tried to determine what was going on inside your mind. You've been acting strange for a couple of weeks now and he wasn't sure why. Every time he asked you about it, you told him that everything was fine. He knew it wasn't, but he couldn't force you to talk to him. All he could do was let you know that he was here for you and wait until you were ready to talk.

"Alright," he finally replied, cupping your face so he could bring you closer. "Promise me you'll be careful."

"I promise."

"And if anything happens, you'll call me?"

"I will."

"Good." Tsukasa closed the distance, kissing you gently. "I love you."

Those three words were enough to steal the breath from your lungs, leaving you feeling giddy.

I bet he's only with you because he feels sorry for you!

The words echoed in your head like a mantra, followed by her high-pitched laughter that sucked every ounce of happiness from you. Your smile faltered and you knew that he had noticed it. Before he could question it, you pulled away from him and hurried toward the stairs, your heart pounding in your chest.

'If he wasn't suspicious before, he has to be now!' You cursed under your breath. When you reached the courtyard, you could feel eyes on you and knew it was Tsukasa watching you. As badly as you wanted to turn and smile up at him, you resisted the urge and hurried away from the school.

After the interaction with that girl, you decided that you were going to get a job and save up to buy Tsukasa a gift that would blow all of hers out of the water. With his birthday right around the corner, you were determined to make it one he would never forget. In truth, you hadn't been lying to him because you were meeting your cousin - he was the one who got you the job and he also worked there with you.

You tugged open the door of the bakery, the smell of freshly baked brownies wafting across your nose. Your cousin, Taka, was wiping down the counter, smiling when he noticed you.

"Hey, you ready for the afternoon rush?"

"Not even a little bit," you chuckled, heading into the back so you could put your things away and grab an apron. After washing your hands, you returned to the front just as a crowd of people approached. For the most part, it went perfectly fine, excluding the fact that you didn't get more than a few seconds to breathe. The place was packed, people talking loudly as they waited for their order.

Your cousin nudged you, holding two lattes. "Can you take this to table five?"

"Sure." You carefully took the cups from him focusing on where you were going rather than who was sitting at said table. "Two lattes for Maki-san?"

"Oh my god, it's you."

You glanced up, instantly feeling your heart sink into your stomach. It was her, the girl that insisted on taking Tsukasa from you. She was there with her friend who was just as pretty as she was. Your jaw clenched as you carefully set the cups on the table. "Can I get you anything else?"

She snickered in amusement. "Let me guess, you got this job so you can afford to buy Kasa-kun a gift, right?"

Kasa-kun? Your brow furrowed. No way was she close enough to call him by a nickname.

"You could work here for the rest of your life and still never have enough to give him what I do. Oh and look, it's time for me to give him my gift again!" Maki stood up, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she picked up the bag containing his gift. She sent you a smirk before purposefully knocking over the drink, the lid popping off and the liquid inside spilling out onto the table. "You shouldn't be so clumsy!"

You sent her a deadpan look, well aware of everyone's attention now on you.

She shoulder-checked you as she walked by, her friend close behind.

"I hate her," you muttered under your breath, glaring at the spilled latte.

"Oi, what are you doing?" snapped your managed with a scowl. "Clean that up, now!"

You bowed to him in apology before rushing to clean up the mess she had made.

━━━━━━༻❀༺━━━━━━

You bit your lip as you walked around the jewelry store, scanning the items on display. Most of them were crazy expensive and way out of your price range, but they had a sale going on right now. You had been working hard and had saved up a bit of money, though you did give some of it to your parents to help pay the bills since they were struggling.

What should you get him? You weren't sure but you wanted it to be special, to be something meaningful that he could wear for a long time. Sure, you could just get him some flowers, a card, and something sweet to eat, but those things won't last. They also didn't feel very meaningful to you because of how common they were.

As you scanned the items within the glass case, your eyes landed on a bracelet sitting at the back. It was beautiful. It looked to be made of black pearls with silver crowns and blue pearls at each end. In the center was a silver lion head. It immediately made you think of Tsukasa because of the time Murayama-san had called him a sleeping lion. You thought the term was fitting because he was just as majestic and strong as one. Would he appreciate such a gift or be annoyed by it?

"It's a beautiful bracelet, isn't it?"

You looked up in surprise at the woman standing on the other side of the counter, a friendly smile on her lips. Her name tag read, 'Yuki.' "Yes, it's quite beautiful. Are those pearls?"

She shook her head. "No, they're made of black tourmaline. It's said that these stones work as a bodyguard to shield their wearer from harm, strengthening their immune system and helping them find relief from discomfort. It keeps your chakras balanced and helps to soak up negative energies."

Your eyes widened at her words. That sounds perfect for him, given how much danger he always puts himself in. "And the blue ones?"

"Blue agate. It's excellent for reducing anxiety, despair, and stress which also aids in the healing of one's body, mind, and spirit. As for the lion, it exudes charisma and courage. This bracelet is designed to help you channel your inner lion no matter what situation you find yourself in."

You bit your lip, unsure if you believed in what she was telling you. It sounded too good to be true and, in your experience, such things rarely turned out well. Did you really have anything to lose, though? If it didn't work as she described, it was still a beautiful piece of jewelry to adorn his wrist. And on the off chance it did work, it could really assist him with the life he's chosen to live.

"How much is it?"

"The normal price is fifty dollars, but it's currently on sale for forty."

If you bought the bracelet, you'd be dead broke which meant you wouldn't be able to treat him to dinner as you had planned. 'He can just have dinner with his family,' you decided. "I'd like to buy it, please!"

She smiled warmly at you, nodding her head before unlocking the case. "Would you like the box wrapped?"

You felt embarrassed telling her that you couldn't afford it but she seemed to sense your line of thought.

"It's no extra charge."

You almost exhaled in relief but managed to hold it back. "Yes, please!"

"Of course."

You watched her as she carefully wrapped the box in wrapping paper. She made it look so easy, doing so without tears or creases. It was pristinely wrapped, as if done by a machine rather than a human being, and she topped it off by wrapping a yellow ribbon around it.

"Thank you so much."

"I'm sure he'll love it," she told you with a smile, handing the gift over to you.

"I hope so," you replied, bowing to her politely before leaving the store.

As you approached Oya Koukou, you felt nerves dancing within you like butterflies. Would he like it? Had he seen Maki already and accepted her gift? Did she even know it was his birthday? A million questions filled your mind but you did your best to ignore them, focusing only on the task laid out before you.

When you finally reached Oya, however, you saw your boyfriend standing outside the gates and he wasn't alone. Maki stood in front of him with a gift in her hands - it was tall and rectangular in shape with a giant red bow on top. A frown tugged at your lips as your gaze fell to the small box in your own hands, no doubt much cheaper than whatever she had bought him.

You caught Maki's eye and she smirked at you, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Tsukasa's cheek. Your heart clenched painfully as you turned on your heel, quickly walking away from them. It felt stupid to feel this way, but you just felt as if you couldn't compete with her. You found yourself wondering if you were holding him back, preventing him from being in a relationship that he deserved.

Fingers wrapped gently around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. You didn't even have to look to know who it was, the scent of vanilla mixing with his cologne wafting across your nose. It was such a beautiful smell, one that you enjoyed deeply, but it couldn't calm your nerves at that moment.

"Hey," Tsukasa called out softly, his hand slipping down until it found its place against your own. "That wasn't what it looked like. She -"

"Really likes you," you interrupted just as softly, unable to face him. "She brings you gifts every day..."

"You knew about that?"

You nodded, lowering your head. "She's really pretty and she has money to spend on you."

"Just what are you trying to say?" his brow furrowed, hand tightening around your own.

"I'm just saying," you took a deep breath, closing your eyes. "That maybe she's a... better fit for you than I am."

"You're joking," he laughed but it lacked any sense of humor. "Is this why you've been so distant with me lately?"

"That's part of it..."

"Then what's the other part?"

You hesitated for a moment before slowly turning toward him and holding out the gift. "I've been working. Here, this is your birthday gift."

His lips parted, gaze flickering between you and the gift as he searched for the right words. "Did you... get a job to buy this?"

"It's not much. Not compared to hers." You muttered the last part under your breath. "Take it."

Instead of doing what you told him, he tugged on your hand, pulling you into his chest. His arms wrapped tightly around your body, one hand going to the back of your head. Your body tensed up at the sudden gesture, having not expected it, but you quickly melted in his warm embrace.

"You didn't have to do that," he told you softly. "And you definitely don't have to compete with Maki."

Your body tensed at the mention of her first name and he sensed it, increasing his hold on you in case you tried to pull away.

"She went to the same elementary school as us," he explained. "She had a massive crush on Fujio back then. She even called me ugly."

You scoffed at this, having seen pictures of him when he was a child thanks to his mom. "You were the cutest kid ever, what the hell?"

Tsukasa chuckled, finally pulling away. "Thank you, hun."

Warmth flooded you at the pet name and you cleared your throat, motioning toward the gift. "Are you gonna open it now?"

"So impatient," he hummed, carefully undoing the bow and handing it to you. He took his time with the paper as if he didn't want to tear it too badly. His brow went up when he saw the jewelry box. "Are you proposing to me?"

"Of course not!" you replied quickly, cheeks darkening at the thought of spending the rest of your life with him. "It's too big to be a ring box."

"Not if it's a big ring."

"Oh my god, Tsu-kun."

He laughed again, the sound pleasing to your ears. After what felt like ages, he finally pulled the lid off and carefully removed the bracelet from the box. He held it up, inspecting it carefully.

You bit your lip nervously, shifting from one foot to the other. "I know it's not much, but -"

"I love it."

"Eh?"

He slid it onto his wrist, eyes shimmering with love as he repeated, "I love it. Thank you so much, hun."

"Really? You really mean it?" You searched his face for any sign that he was lying but you found none.

Instead of answering you, he closed the distance, his hand resting on the side of your neck as his lips claimed your own. Your fingers curled around his shirt, tugging him closer as you returned the kiss, hoping he could feel all of the love you felt for him.

He rested his forehead against your own, a bright smile on his face. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," you breathed out, unable to stop your own smile.

"And for the record," he explained, brushing your cheek with his thumb. "I didn't want to accept her gifts but Fujio talked me into it. Her dad owns a big bakery and she always brings me sweets from there."

"Sweets?" your brow furrowed. "Not jewelry or clothes?"

"No, just sweets." He frowned, pecking your lips again. "You were really worried about this, weren't you?"

"Not at first," you admitted, tugging at the bottom of his shirt. "It wasn't until I confronted her that I started to feel... I don't know, insecure, I guess."

"What did she say to you?" his eyes darkened. "If she hurt you -"

"Nothing," you replied quickly, not wanting to ruin the moment. "It doesn't matter. I'm sorry for being so weird lately."

"Don't apologize. Just promise me that you'll come to me next time. If there's a problem, we'll work on it together. Okay?"

You nodded, brushing the hair away from his forehead. "I promise."

"Good. I won't accept her gifts anymore."

"Are you sure? Fujio will be sad."

"He'll get over it. Now, come here." His lips found yours again, filled with so much love that it stole your breath away.

You realized how silly you had been to let her words affect you. Tsukasa was your boyfriend and he loved you dearly. He was determined to make sure you knew that and never questioned yourself again.

[dareactions]

I just have a few requests x3

How about the companions react to a Young!Inquisitor reacting to solas's betrayal by saying this: "I dont know why I was surpprised, everyone I have ever loved has either left me,died,betrayed me somehow,or given me copious amounts of trauma. I'm kinda numb to it all at this point" and they stop hiding their emotions and they just look....so old? Like almost broken old?

I return just to hit y'all w the angst hammer im so sorry. (I'm not <3)

Solas goes first bcs he is a big meanie and should feel bad for hurting poor young!inquisitor smh

Solas: It's not the answer he expects or the response he wants. There's no doubt that he knew from the beginning that he'd hurt them, that no matter what happened they would look at him as if he'd lit their entire life on fire and watched it burn down but not once had he even considered that they'd look so- aged. There's a horrifyingly burning feeling in his chest and he wants to grab their shoulders and beg for them to be angry, kick, scream- do anything a normal person would. But instead, they're just staring at him so exhausted and for once Solas feels dread.

Cassandra: Her first initial feeling, is anger. Cassandra always responds to things with that first burst of fiery rage and need for justice, but once that passes it's just the need to protect. She finally understands her own brother, a bit. Cassandra helps in the only ways she knows, holding the Inquisitor until they finally let themself cry, and after that, she makes it her own personal life goal to cave in the skull of anyone who ever makes them make that expression again. She considers for just a moment if maybe she is part of the problem (she knows she is, she remembers the first time they met in that cell), but she can't bring herself to think about it.

Blackwall: He knows he is part of the problem, of that long list of people who have lied and turned tail when it came down to it. And fuck if he doesn't feel bad. Blackwall hates to admit that he is an expert in self-pity but he really can't help the wave of self-hatred that seeing the Inquisitor like that brings. He has never seen someone young seem so old but then he remembers young soldiers, young mages, and templars all with that same dead look in their eyes. Blackwall turns away, he might make them small trinkets and keep an eye on them but he is nowhere near brave enough to look them in the face for nearly a week after that.

Dorian: So, he is adopting them- everyone shut up, you don't get to pick. It's his younger sibling now and as their new legal guardian, he would want everyone to back the fuck off. Dorian is the most likely I think to fall into the attempts of regaining normalcy for the Inquisitor. He treats them the same, doesn't matter what horrifying piece of information they may have dropped he keeps the same level of jest and care between them. But he is more keen-eyed on making sure nobody gets too close, that nobody says something that no teenager or child should year. Nothing is more horrifying than a Pavus with protective habits, let me tell you that much.

Sera: I love Sera, but she is fucking horrid with the emotional support and she knows it. Sera will step around like she is walking on glass shards, get annoyed and say something bordering on insensitive and then realize what she has done- and try her best to mend things. Sera forgot their age, she said and had them help with things that maybe a child shouldn't deal with but no child in Ferelden isn't broken a little bit, so she isn't entirely sure how to navigate someone so numb to it all. Sera of course suggests crime, that always makes her feel better and it'll make them feel better for sure.

Iron Bull: See, the Inquisitor is a member of the Bull's Chargers. That means they're family and they're looking so fucking miserable and sad right now that it just means that he kicks into that need to protect. Bull knows better than to lean onto his past mistakes and regrets, think about everything he could've done better at this point to protect them. He just is more weary, more aware of their age- he does his best to keep some semblance of childhood in their life even if its far too late. And if things get too hard he pats their shoulder, leans down and reminds them 'horns pointed up, chin high' because nobody can take them down and if they are too numb to go on then he'll just have to re-ignite their flame.

Varric: Oh, he has seen that look before. Hawke carried it like a horrifying shadow of dread after their mom, after everything. He remembers the glazed over look, the empty tone of voice and the exhaustion. The way nothing is hidden on their face and he hates it. A part of Varric had promised himself to not let it get to this point, and he failed miserably. Varric never saw himself as much of a parental figure but somehow he falls into one pretty easily after that reveal, he is far less willing to let things slide. Varric is the first to admit he will put a bolt through Solas throat if he sees him again though.

Vivienne: She sees that expression, hears those words and she sees red. If you've ever seen this woman mad you've never seen her mad like this and it's like watching a mother lion with its cub. It's almost laughable when people try to get too close to do something after this, it's as if the Inquisitor has their own personal mom to freeze people at will now. She can't undo that hurt, she knows she can't, but she sure as hell can help them in the future.

Cole: Oh this poor lad, he feels that pain into his very core and it makes him feel like he will shatter and break himself. Cole is hovering, but not in the way that Cass of Vivienne is- he hovers in a surprisingly...helpful way. Cole whispers words of comfort, reminds them of the good and is well aware of when to be quiet. Sometimes he can help, not with everything, but this he can help with and he does so the only way he knows- words of truth and letting the Inquisitor wear his hat and hug him, obviously.

[nugulover69]

What if Sakura and Mira switching team? Or Jou and Masumi? I want Akashi to take care of Taiya's puppies, or maybe train them with his usual tough love.

*Cough*Sakurashouldpunchtheentireboonboomgerteam*cough*

Oooo the situations that could be had

I imagine Sakura would probably be cool with Taiya, bc he is committed to his duties. hell she might even relate to him a lil since he's not the most open emotionally just like her. ISHIRO on the other hand would be soooooo livid with her bc how DARE this WOMAN try to strategize with HIS TAIYA. THATS HIS JOB >:(

Jou is a stupid obedient pubby who clearly needs an authority figure to tell him what to do so he'd LOVE her. she would NOT like Sakito and Byoon D, loiterers not focused on the team's mission. she would be copacetic with Genba and she would likely just go along with Taiya's orders of "let him deal with his problems on his own", even if she doesn't think its right

As for Mira the Boukenger, Akashi would def be fond of her moxie, although her bumbling and lack of dexterity could be worked on. Souta would have similar feelings, plus he'd honestly find Mira's affable and strongly independent self very attractive

Her and Natsuki would get along like gangbusters, genki girlies uniteeeee. Masumi doesn't seem to like women generally AND Mira is the kind to actually snap back when someone is acting up, so there's tussles to be had there

The boons would hate Masumi so bad. him and Ishiro would get into the sissiest slap fight ever seen by man. maybe he'd push Taiya to have one emotion via being such an unrestrained cunt. Sakito and Genba would get big kicks out of teasing him tho

Jou would fit like a glove in the boukens. that boy loves receiving orders and protecting people. he'd be like having a male Natsuki around. Souta takes up Genba's job of lightly razzing him

Regarding Boon!Chief, I think the boons deserve a red that actually cares abt their well being and complements them to their faces. I think Ishiro would be so overwhelmed by the genuine niceness he'd puke. Mira and Jou would just enjoy being directly appreciated at least

I think he could fix Genba actually. like he'd also let Genba go off on his own, maybe to find his own treasure or something like that, BUT he'd be like Mira and Jou and reaffirm how beloved and needed he is and that he can always return to them. also he'd whipped Sakito into shape right quick. he's dealt with a manchild in Masumi before. Sakito's whimsy is helpless in the face of a chad red

I don't think the boukens would like Taiya much. like he'll do his job gladly but he's not much a leader ya know, he's more inclined to let others figure their own strategies out. the boukens are not incapable of doing things w/o Akashi ofc but a detached leader won't instill high morale

[acourtofthought]

You seem like a fair and kind person to me, plus you do a lot for this fandom; we're lucky to have you, and you deserve the compliments! Also I wanted to add that the az-luc theory was nice to hear bc it made the whole situation b/w them less “teen drama” I feel like a lot of the times the explanations given for the tension among the 3 of them are oversimplified. And although it’s not bad thing when guys fighting over a girl, it seems out of place in this series. Idk how to explain it exactly, but yeah it just seems so random snd doesn't make sense for this situation?

Thank you again!! 😊

I agree (with the rest of your message, I wasn't saying I agree with be deserving compliments though I greatly appreciate them 😂)

I think some treat the Az / Lucien setup as if it's really not a big thing but it's so out of character for two of the good guys in the series and the animosity Az has for Lucien has been mentioned enough times that it doesn't feel like they're simply going to shake hands in the next book and walk away without further explanation. SJM has made Az's dislike of Lucien a pretty big plot-point.

It's hotly debated but I honestly don't think Az was romantically interested in Elain until Solstice of MAF. I think he was protective before that because to him she seemed to be someone in need of protecting but he was relieved not to have to get her a gift and while she was in the room with him at Solstice, he stared at Mor with heat and yearning. You just don't do that if you're interested in another female at that moment.

But he was pissy about Lucien before Solstice:

"Send Lucien then. As our human emissary." (Az said this line)

After saying it, Rhys takes note of: "I studied the tenseness in Azriel's shoulders, the shadows veiling half of him from the sunlight."

He also says: "I don't make a point of looking after his movements" and: Azriel's Siphons guttered, the stones turning as dark and foreboding as the deepest sea. "Where did Lucien go"

After that last line Rhys is a bit taken back Az's tone and the way he basically demands an answer.

When Rhys asks Az if he thinks Lucien can handle being around Graysen, Az adopts an expressionless face and says "Why should I be the judge of that?".

And Rhys thinks again on how Az is giving absolutely no emotion away.

This can't be about Elain, he's still lusting after Mor. He's either mad about the fact that Lucien was "worthy" of a bond (regardless of who it was with) or mad that Rhys is looking to Lucien for information where Az used to be the go to person.

And of course after Solstice Az gets fixated on how Elain gave him and gift (which he opened after blushing, lusting over Mor) but didn't give one to Lucien and suddenly Az is caught up in his thoughts of Elain and his anger towards Lucien has progressed to him really not giving shit about Lucien at all, to the point that he's annoyed to have to ask him for help in Spring, thinks he's not good enough and doesn't care that he's casually talking about killing him.

I mean....what?!?

There's deeper emotions going on when it comes to how Az feels about Lucien that I don't think has anything to do with Elain and I kind of like the idea of it echoing whatever fallout may have existed between Fionn and his best friend, maybe some sort of jealousy that drove (Pelias?) to kill him.

That whole "history repeating itself but we'll do better than our ancestors" is always a good trope in books. And I think it was the TOG series that said something along these lines but maybe I'm thinking of something else entirely, "all the original players have returned". Which adds up to there being key people thousands of years ago that made mistakes which led to bad things happening and now, all those that were once connected to the originals have come together to succeed where they failed.

I don't know, it would make this whole setup a big more grand and purposeful and would be something more exciting to sort out instead of having a fan favorite MMC go down a path where he's being a dick to Lucien all on his own for absolutely no reason that's important to the story aside from being mad that he's not getting what others are getting. Having their setup be an echo of history somewhat takes the focus off Az's childish behavior and puts the focus on the bigger story.

[golbrocklovely]

You know what I find really sad is every time I’ve heard Colby mention his ex and what happened with her I can’t help but think he sounds like a genuinely good boyfriend, at least from the way he describes his behavior with her. I remember watching that Q&A he did a couple years ago and I noticed that he consistently talked about his actions during their time together in a negative light but all I could think was he just sounded like a really normal, caring, attentive boyfriend. Wanting to be with your partner all the time is normal at that stage of a relationship, especially if you’re really into them. Wanting to take care of and be there for them is normal.

Was he overbearing? Perhaps a little, especially if he maybe wasn’t listening to what her needs might have been, we don’t know the exact situation but so many women would absolutely love a guy that is that crazy about them and it breaks me heart a bit that he seems to now think those particular actions/behaviors were why the relationship failed, especially cause he seems to think she did nothing wrong (at least from the way he’s talked about it), at the very least it definitely seems like she was not communicating with him very well. It just sounds like she personally didn’t need or like those types of qualities in a relationship, especially if she wasn’t feeling it as much as he was but so many women would absolutely adore a guy like that. I just find it really sad that that relationship seems to have hurt him so much that it he might still be holding back on what feels normal for him to do in a relationship because he thinks the reason it ended was completely his fault due to those actions.

And from what he’s said, I would bet money on him having Quality Time as his primary love language and trust me, as someone who has quality time as theirs, it can come off as extremely overbearing if it’s not how the other person receives love cause just being around that person, making time specifically for that person is how you show you care and them wanting to be around you and making time for you is how you feel cared for in return. Him being upset with her seemingly pulling away or cancelling shit on him is consistent with something that would deeply hurt someone with this love language.

i will say the one thing i find interesting about colby talking about his ex is that he never really says anything bad about her. it's always that he did something, that he was too much. most ppl when they talk about their exes always go for "well they were bad for X, Y, and Z reason" and then maybe later get into their own faults.

now idk if he does this bc he himself thinks she did nothing wrong and he was the bad one, or if it's more of a self-realization that maybe he was the problem to some extent, or if it was the third lovely option of self esteem issues and he blames himself solely. who knows the true answer but colby.

nonetheless, i do think to some degree colby definitely was clingy and overbearing, even if she wasn't either telling him to calm down or that she needed a bit of space. every relation, no matter what, takes two to tango. but the tango in this case is the break up. so while she had her issues, so did he.

but i do feel bad for him regardless. to not have your love reciprocated is really hard. and it hurts to feel like you're not being seen or supported. i get that deeply.

all of my loves have been one sided so i know how much pain that causes and how much it holds you back when you want to get up again. it takes a lot of effort to move forward, so to some degree i get why he hasn't really gone back out there. plus, if he's not ready for a relationship, getting into one ain't gonna help.

i just hope that when he does feel that spark again, he doesn't hold himself back. everyone deserves to feel love.

[rule-number-3]

I have thunk that won't go away, TrollReader lives in troll market and when they hear gunmar is free they freak out because they used to court him but cancelled it and left when he fought to take over the gumgum army and haven't seen him since

Idk if it makes sense but thank you for reading this :>

No no no. This makes sense. This may just be because I did a lot of fic writing back in the day but this sounds like a really good ot for one. Ripe with angst and worry. I'm only sure it doesn't exists yet bc I have scraped the Gunmar tag and ao3 and came back with crumbs. I always forget just how small this fandom is.

Anyway, love the story idea. We got so very little of pre-killahead Gunmar in Wizards but even there he seemed... I don't want to call it nicer, but he didn't seem like he was as much of a glorkhole as he would later be post Darklands and was probably a comparatively decent person in the time before that, which is actually something I've been wanting to do one of my little think pieces on in the future. My point is that I can easily imagine him being a significantly different person and his potential s/o seeing his descent from standard levels evil's for a gumm gumm to outright tyrant and noping on out of there while it was possible.

Gunmar is understandably peeved. He genuinely seemed hurt when he saw that Arrrgh had switched sides so seeing a lover among the those fighting agaisnt him or hiding from him will set him off, probably. He has a heart. He cares about family. Jim and the other will absolutely do everything they can to protect poor s/o but Gunamr is nothing is not stubborn and an a hole and he will want to confront them personally, at least. Maybe if circumstances are right even offer the opportunity to return to his side and rule. More of an ultimatum than a choice, though, but that's like the whole theme of trollhunters so it fits. If declined it enslavement as a mindless grunt with the rest of them but he will feel bad about it for a while.

[joyboythehopepunk]

the color of growth

the color of growth by donovan melero

it's one of those emotive songs that helps me feel things i normally put to the side. not sure if anyone else does this. where you just get into one of those moods.. where you have to think about/feel the things that are bothering you?

it used to be more self destructive for me than listening to a sad song or two. i used to be an alcoholic. i used to be depressed and a little bipolar.

but i'm autistic with cptsd. being in fucked up situations really does a number on me in a way it doesn't seem to mess with other people. that is why i have only been in handful of relationships.

things affect me much more intensely.

at first i thought i was just a highly sensitive person. well. at first i just thought i was a moody weirdo who happened to be intelligent.

anyway.. this part of my self discovery journey only began in earnest with a failed relationship. i had to know what was wrong with me.

but... just as i'd feared: nothing is more wrong with me than anyone else. i only confirmed i am fucked up. like everyone else. just in a different way. definitely less fucked up than the general public.

that was this issue, ultimately. if you're closer to health and your society is mostly sick.. you look more damaged. you look like the crazy one. but you're actually sane. more sane than any peers you've had. i'm also a statistical anomaly in a way, too. being mixed, trans, and disabled is common on this hellsite.

but lgbtq people, brown people, and neurodivergent people are technically still minorities.

anyway.. my journey has been a long one. and it isn't over yet.

the color of growth is a sad song about the loss of love and regret. which is mainly what I feel when i think of her. the one that really hurt me. for some reason.. it seems to hurt more than anything i can remember in a long time. and yeah, i know autistic people experience trauma more extremely.. but oof.

ramble. it wasn't just my fault. i know that. i just wish i could find someone who is as patient and considerate as i am. i make an excellent lover. it is too bad people keep proving me right about their characters. but we all have fucked up things going on. idk.

i'm tired of being alone. i have been alone my whole life - unlike others. no real emotional/mental support my whole life. was barely taken care of as a child. as an adult i've had no real friends/family.

people make me uncomfortable. and with how i've seen them treat one another (except in rare instances) it is understandable. why anyone would be wary. and maybe that is why people don't really seem to value relationships as much as they say.

but i am a voidpunk/spiritual being. i've never looked at humans the same way as other people. i value life, i really do. i probably value the connections more than normal. i see peoples' humanity more than normal.

but lately.. lately i have grown more detached. bc i just don't have the energy to give people. bc i'm tired of being hurt and disappointed.

people who don't see me as a person. people who can't respect or give space or support me. especially when i've always been a very giving person... why should i give them consideration? other than it's the right thing to do? (which has gotten me taken advantage of and misunderstood too)

always in lop-sided relationships. (bc people expect something specific out of me/expect more from me)

never understood or loved properly. (bc people don't know how to be there for me/love me. they only have so much space in their hearts ig)

there's no point to this post except for me to air my feelings out. it feels like i have a giant wound inside me. and tho i suspect others feel the same.. there is a difference in the clarity and magnitude of awareness.. how much we know of ourselves and others deepens such pain.

ah. it hurts. to think of loving and being loved in return.

(a/n: check out Aurora's Nature Boy song)

can't wait to find my companion, lover, and friend. hopefully i won't wait much longer.

[eatnightmares]

1.15 the end of the beginning :)))))

OH CARPENTERRRRR RETURNING TO A FAITH YOU’RE SICK OF BUT IS THE ONLY THING FAMILIAR THAT FEELS SAFE

“I remember mostly sensations” GOD HOW OLD WAS SHE WHEN THIS HAPPENED??? she said her parents were killed a year after she was born but it seems like she's able to speak full sentences here so she has to be at least 5-6...then again she says the radio is talking about them but the newspapers have already moved on so it feels like there's some timeline confusion here hrkshgl

“She had no other options” immediately defending her 😭😭 oh i’m so sick. you were a baby. you were just a baby.

“I remember feeling surprised that it smelled just the same from inside as it had from the outside" GOD. CHRIST. WHETHER YOU’RE DOING THE FEEDING OR THE ONE BEING EATEN IT'S ALL PART OF THE SAME MACHINE. AND SHE'S A BABY.

classic nana glass moments 😬👍 (she does change and it does last and she does it by being the bravest person on planet earth i love you carpenter)

HEAD IN HANDS HEAD IN HANDS CARPENTERRRRR (did they talk after? did they say what they needed to say? did you tell your brother you love him carpenter?)

(also very crazy about how nana is always singing + drowning song, music as a negative thing in carpfaulk's lives that they still try to associate with positively)

something about the angels coming but not feeding. something about nana and the cairn maiden both being described with long fingers. something about “unworthy vessel”. let’s explode

(side note. this is carpenter to me.)

the girlies 🩷🩷 and carpfaulk both being so impulsive hrifhdi…

“everywhere else we’ve been haunting” yeah…oh the ways they will remain…

“YOU TWO IDIOTS” SO TRUE PAIGE!!!!!

“I'LL SEE IF I CAN BRING FAULKNER BACK TO US.” THE BEGINNING IS THE END IS THE BEGINNING OUR PAIGE COME WITH ME WHATEVER WHAT THE FUCK EVERRRRRR

may your peace walk on with you for awhile…the last time they see each other until s3…everything they both go thru in regards to losing and gaining gods…

carp being in so much pain here 😭 babygirl it's only s1 how do u live as long as u do...

carpenter bringing a weapon to confront faulkner s1 vs having the chance to take cull's rifle and just giving it back before she goes to see faulkner in s3. “wish i had the same confidence in myself” whatever whatever whatever.

bites my fingers off. how many lights in glottage.

brother caring is the Only thing that matters. (and looking for the trawler man’s reflection…ooaaauugghhh...buddy you're not gonna like what you see soon...)

i've never seen anyone draw them in the silly little bumper car but it's such a good mental image maybe one day i'll do it myself... (not to be on my utena shit but. them spending the whole season in a car. sitting in this little kids car as they admit they don't know what they're doing and are in fact very bad at what they try to do. very tous*i motorbike scene of them. censored bc i don't like them <3)

carp trying to be nice but in some way encouraging him on the path he's taking...

carpenter and her brothers insatiable needs to kill themselves for a god that doesn't care about them :)

MAN...THEY'RE SO CLOSE...they get it but what can they do...why should he hate us because we turn our backs...AT LEAST WE COULD BE ALIVE TO TELL THEM HOW IT HAPPENED...

THE LAUGHTER'S THE LAST THING LEFT TO US BEFORE WE GO 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

MADLY FURIOUSLY JUBILANTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i forgor her cover name is her moms name oh carpenter...making yourself a monument carrying your loved ones everywhere...

every single one of them died for you and thought it meant something!!! and here comes my new brother ready to do the same!!!!! but at least he'll die cursing your name!!!!! I'M STILL ALIVE!!!!! I'M NOT DYING FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY LAST DEATH RATTLES MOCKING YOUR NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"faulkner, *pray*" delivery got me like yes ma'am 🫡🫡 outta my way sibling boy i'm boutta get it

anyone else in this thread constantly thinking about how carp is the only one of the main 4 to not explicitly be said to be suicidal at some point but she has some of the most moments of Implications.

PAIGE NAMING HERSELF VAUGHN CARPENTER NAMING HERSELF SANDRA RAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

what if i died forever. the editing of "i close my eyes/i keep my eyes open" is soooooo good

something about the offerings left behind...state of Prior Happiness...that really is all he ever gives...

I FORGOR SID ESCAPES GOOD FOR HIM

paige being a bit of what instigates the political conflict to begin with teehee...

mason when i get my hands on you. but also how faulkner would've gotten what he wanted if he died here. lol. (but man all the different versions of the story...rose crest moments...)

"but what else can you do, but keep on going? just keep limping on" OH CARPENTER OH CARPENTER OH CARPENTERRRRR

"gods for sickness. gods for good health." in sickness and in health. promised bride. ☝️

RIPPING THE WALLS APART CAAAAAAARRRPPPPPPPP

if anyone needs me i'm going to kill myself forever 👍

(on vacation so i won't get to s2 for a minute but i'm def relistening to it too once i'm back!!)

[nathank77]

5/18/24

9:25 p.m Edited/Added to

I just got home from the hospital. It was nice seeing her. I spent a couple hours there maybe 3. She was mostly sober cause yea she was on oxy. So we had a regular normal conversation which was really nice. She seemed sober. It was really nice. I could see my mother behind her eyes. Something I don't see ever.

She's thinking about trying to apply for fmla so she can go to rehab. Her idea not mine idk what fmla is lol but paid leave. That's all I know. I made sure to bring it up to her nurse and gave her skyes contact cause of the hours. Bc the case manger could potentially get it approved. She came in the er so drunk. They know the right things to say and now is the time to act..

So hopefully she does that. I won't give my hopes up. Cause I get it she needs to get paid and she also will return to her normal habit if she stays at home. It's sad cause she always thinks about quiting drinking when she's spent a few days away from it at the hospital... like she knows she feels better once she stops withdrawing and is more clear headed but she can't quit at home.. which i mean I do get. There is a reason rehabs exist.

I feel better having seen her. I'll go tomorrow after therapy if she doesn't come home. We could have a really good relationship if she stopped drinking that's the saddest part. I love her so much. I hope they can get it approved and I hope she actually goes. I'll visit her all the time.

But I'll expect her to come home and drink herself to death cause yea. She brought up a time when she was sober cause she was out of work... I low key remember but I think she was still drinking just less so I didn't spend time with her. I was with Katie and thats something I resent about Katie is she made me resent my mother more and stay away from her. It's important to me that my partner takes my mother as she is. I get that if she had kids, she couldn't be around the kids. I get things would be a little different but I expect her to take her as she is. And to talk to her and make eye contact with her. Katie wouldn't even make eye contact with her.

Anyways I'm still stressed about sleep... I'm worried I'll struggle.. but hopefully it was just anxiety about not seeing my mom and all those feelings that came up last night about how she could have died. And the fact that I didn't go to see her...

Idk what to do about Mark. Here are my thoughts:

1) I will respect myself more if I don't go cause he didn't accept me for who I was as a person. And I always put everyone else first and disregard my feelings. This isn't to spite Mark. This is me saying. He didn't mean anything to me and I don't need to see a dead body and people crying and I dont need to say good bye I don't want to talk about the, "good times." My dad looked at mark like he was shit. They didn't talk. Of course it's his brother but I mean why do I have to go for you? When he didn't respect my identity? My entire being? Who I am as a person?

I'm not trying to spite anyone. I feel bad he died. I feel bad for him-how he died. And for his family for my father. For everyone who loved him..but I respect myself too much to pretend he meant anything to me beyond I care that another human being suffered...

But then I will put a wall between me and my father.. bc he doesn't want to understand that for one mental pictures are a thing. Negativity is a thing. I need to be in healthy situations. And only deal with something like death if someone I truly care about is dying...

Beyond that it's my identity. Not the fact that I don't work or idk that I'm fiscally liberal or something.

2) I will likely respect myself equally if I go bc- it's the right thing to do for my father. But only for him. It's not the right thing to do for me.

I always put everyone else first. All the time constantly... and for once I don't want to but I don't want to build a wall between me and my father.

So idk what to do cause it's only the right thing for my father not for me.

That's the thing about the right thing.. the right thing isn't always obvious...

"Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are same."- The Fray All At Once.

The hardest thing and the right thing are the same in this case, putting myself first but it will effect me and my father's relationship.

So idk. All I know is the right thing for me is to not go. The right thing for my father is to go.

I reference that song for a reason bc of that quote. The fray is one of my favorite bands of all time and that qoute struck me when I was a teenager. And it applies to this.

The song below is really important to me:

"Looking for something I've never seen

Alone and I'm in between

The place that I'm from and the place that I'm in

A city I never been

I found a friend or should I say a foe

Said there's a few things you should know

We don't want you to see we come and we go

Here today, gone tomorrow

We're only taking turns

Holding this world

It's how it's always been

When you're older you will understand

If I say who I know it just goes to show

You need me less than I need you

Take it from me we don't give sympathy

You can trust me trust nobody

But I said you and me we don't have honesty

The things we don't want to speak

I'll try to get out but I never will

Traffic is perfectly still

We're only taking turns

Holding this world

It's how it's always been

When you're older you will understand

And then again maybe you don't

And then again maybe you won't

We're only taking turns

We're only taking turns

Holding this world

It's how it's always been

When you're older you will understand"

[psychelis-new]

sometimes i dont know how we are expected to enjoy something in this economy or in modern society where people seem to only really care if its about a rich person or someone whos popular or pretty and attractive. for instance if celeb passes away its such a huge deal but if its one of us it doesnt matter so much cause we dont matter or only a few handful of people would miss us compared to a celeb. or that society is so much about what someone does and how much they make from it that i feel soulless like theres so many folk who say do something bc it make u money not bc it make u happy.

im really conflicted nowadays and i dont like the state my country is in, it doesnt care about it citizens but it care more about the royals than anyone else every tome w royal member breaths they get free press but any time someome normal does something it never gets the same reception. as i said i dont think it matters anymore who does or doesnt live a long life bc it only matters what they did as a person or how society is constantly about having a following or likes comments and subscribes or is it the fact that screens are being used everywhere?

honestly i think this is the worst version of society. i dont want to have to chase people only for them to barely give effort in return but thats what i feel like i have to do bc society has its cliques online and offline. i hope this rant makes some sense and thank you v much for letting me rant!

Hello dear :) Well, there's a lot here...

Despite I understand what you mean, it's also about statistics: famous people are known by far more people than "common" (let me use this adjective, even if it's not right) people, so it's obviously natural that more people can be aware of their existence and cry over one of them passing away compared to one person known only by 20-30 people or less: famous people have the chance to "keep in touch" with/be seen by many people at the same time through what they do, cause all they do has a resonance caused by the ability they have to move markets and create capitals as well (mostly because of "common" people being so invested in them, js). For this reasons their lives are under the lenses of the world: not that good in the end, as their privacy is basically non-existant; they're supposed to share everything about them, cause people wants to know everything about them and compare their lives to the ones of those famous people: if they go through lows, "common" people may feel better about themselves, or see famous as more "normal"; in the best case we just can get inspired by famous people (maybe they made a dream come true and so we hope to be able to do the same somehow). It's very tough cause it's not just about love, but they get also hated and envied far more easily and by far more people than "common" people: again it's about statistics.

The thing to keep in mind here imo is: it's not about quantity, but quality. One can be loved by the whole world but it doesn't mean everyone will remember them forever (and also, it depends on how and why they will: it's not always for something positive or good). Focus on you and your own personal relationships, on making them good enough so that even if just one person will care about and remember you, it will be more than enough cause it will be for the right reason. And that's what matters in the end (imo, ofc).

Life these days is easily influenced by fake lives we see online through social medias: all is buildt up so that it can look amazing (think photographs and AI as well). Many people (not just influencers) try to avoid sharing the "bad" part but only focus on the good and so the idea that everything must be perfect to be good and there's no way one can go through lows in life is something that is playing with the mind of many, making them think their lives are just terrible because they cannot make it good or make enough money (what is enough even? Everything costs more and more, so the fear of running out of money may make people fear living in poverty and need to make more money: no matter if they aren't happy as long as they're safe -it's about the root chakra yk-. For example esp. in the Southern area of my country, not having a secure job is unsafe for many elders, they may push their children to work in State's offices even if they don't want to, so that they will be sure they'll get paid all the months). All this is just adding a stress that is totally unnecessary: as you're noticing, not feeling supported in our choices by those in an "authority spot" (be it family or state letting us down more or less figuratively) is not going to help us find happiness or even wealth (what one can consider it made of). And seeing other making it (famous people for instance), may make us envious of them. Resentful even.

I don't think there's someone living the perfect life, we all go through bad stuff, it's just a matter of how we decide to deal with it and how much we share. Many pretend it's not real and try to forget about it by focusing on whatever else, and even on other people (=famous people) but it doesn't work in the end: fake positivity or avoiding negativity never solved any problem. But this is where famous people come in: seeing good/positive posts and being pushed to believe that something good can be (as it will), or even just being comforted by someone we admire can be of help for those going through a bad moment. On the other side, by showing the best side of stuff, some influencers (eg.) may try to convince us to interact with them also to know more about them or to see if their life are really better and how we can be like them... but they mostly do that to gain something. We're still talking about a job (social media in particular, but remember every famous person also generally gains from their appearances and image): followers and interactions of any type with an account, help them reach certain numbers in the algorythm of that specific social media, get viral or become famous/known enough so that they can start collaborations and gain more. And live (they try to make money as well as anyone else: ofc it depends what idea we have of how they make money and how much we know of it). This too has lows ofc, as everything, but we may not always know about them unless the person wants to share about it.

What I mean is: yes society has f-up rules and ideas, it's pretty much corrupted, but it's not famous people the real problem imo. Maybe "common" people just find in them a way to escape their reality (be it for the best or the worst, to send love or hate; maybe they just project, find comfort, avoidance... whatever other need they have unmet), as I was saying. Maybe they just find online (reels/tiktok in particular, fast and entertaining stuff for a life that goes fast and people's decreasing attention span caused by generally feeling low and not being able to keep up with that pace and ending up alone/left out ig) the entertainment they need to unwind and that they cannot find in their lives: they need to look outside, to not think about themselves. I think that until we look at what goes on outside instead of inside (whether it's to find validation or support or whatever else we need and were never given), there's not much that we can change in our lives. I am not demonzing famous people by any means (nor juding "common" people's behaviours): it's part of their job to be there and act as a trigger (at times) for others, but that's not always a pleasant job in the end: what I mean is, maybe we don't have to blame them for what is going on as their lives have pros but also many many cons we need to consider, understand and respect. In their place many people may not be able to deal with the stress and all and give up easily (don't wanna talk about the many famous people giving in to various addictions because of this).

But if you feel like because of society you need to act in a certain way to be accepted and you need to accept crumbs in your relationships, then that's wrong imo. You are free, don't let society cage you into unreasonable rules. You can make your own rules: you may feel alone at first, but you're not going to be forever. There are other people like you. You deserve much more than crumbs and you deserve to at least try to live the life you dream of living. Try to stop for a moment and realize what is this confusion you're experiencing really about. What do you see in the way famous people are treated and what you make it mean of you in comparison (despite I generally don't suggest to compare with others for this but ...yeah)? Do you feel not enough? Do you feel rejected? Underappreciated? Not seen? Idk... Do you really know what you want for yourself and how to get it? If not, start from the basic, see what you really want and need, and work to obtain it. Whatever goes on around you.

Not sure if I said all I wanted to say but I guess I touched the main points at least... Take care<3

[frenziedslashers]

sorry if this is a weird request but... Sinclairs (or one of your choice) with an s/o who asks them to cut/clip their nails? bc bitches be depressed, have shaky hands, and just hate the feeling. and whole process. and I'm also really bad at cutting my nails idk why

then comes the right hand and everything's over

As someone who bites there nails and fishes... I forgot fingernail clippers are meant for clipping fingernails and NOT trimming fishing line after tying hooks 😭 Man Lester would laugh at me rn

Lester Sinclair:

Lester would be hella nice about it

"Yeah sure thing sweetie, ya got the clippers?"

He'd take it as bonding time, and even massage your hands afterwards if you have achy hands(like me).

I fully think that he chews on his fingernails, too, but I think he would fuss if he caught you chewwing on your own. Idk, he just gives off those vibes.

He would also take the opportunity to maybe slip in some cuddling or just chatting time with you since he's always working or one of you are always busy with something Bo or Vincent have going on.

Just make sure you take the clippers from him when you're done, cause if not they'll go into his flannel pocket and never be seen again by either of you.

Vincent Sinclair:

He is a little lenient at first. I really do think that he has shaky hands too. All three of my sluptor/painter friends are super shaky so I feel like it's common or maybe there's just something in the water here

He would definitely give it a try though and try and be as careful as possible with you.

If you so much as flinch though he's worrying over you and dropping the clippers. It might take some convincing for him to pick them up too.

He just doesn't wanna hurt you

He's definitely more into the thought of rubbing your shoulders or something. It seems less dangerous, really.

Bo Sinclair:

Eh, it really depends on his mood.

If you ask him on a bad day he might roll his eyes and tell you to bug off and find a way to do it yourself.

If you catch him on a good day he'll comply... After teasing you about it a little.

He may be helpful in this occasion, but he will bug you about it anytime you ask

If he catches you trying to do it yourself in the future though, he'll probably take the clippers from you and do it himself. No use seeing you struggle.

Really, he just likes being able to hold your hand in the process.

Plus, he convinces you to return the favor with an act of service for him

Whether it be some help in the shop, or something else. It truly depends on your boundaries.