#i always dress up a bit for the day

[sheenapr]

[14dayswithyou]

Maybe you already ask this already, but I haven’t seen it. your probably not gonna answer this question, since its a secret. but I got two. Later in the game will we learn Ren’s real name? or is Ren gonna tell us? and second, why did Ren change is appearance and personality for us? Was it Mc type? Or himself wasn’t enough?

✦゜ANSWERED: I've mentioned this before, but you'll learn all about Ren and his real name in the future!! In order to get him to revert back to his real self, however, you'll need to make specific choices and reach a certain quota. Otherwise he'll stay as Ren.

As for your second question, Ren changed his appearance to appeal to your current hyperfixation, which is Haruko — a fictional character from an anime called 'Attack On Giants'!!

I know there's a lot of people telling me that Haruko isn't their ideal type at all, but I purposely made this decision because it'd be impossible for me to cater to everyone's ideal type ;v; Having a set character with an established appearance and personality makes things easier for me, and because that's been the plan since the very beginning. I've toyed with idea of giving players the option to choose a different style for Ren at the start of the game, but that would just be an additional workload for me, and there's not enough official 14DWY content released for me to consider working on it yet ^^;

But for those who keep telling me they don't like Ren's persona/Haruko: please understand that if it were possible for me to do it, then Ren would 100% canonically choose your current ideal type instead — regardless if it's the soft, shy boy aesthetic or not. If you like e-boys, then he'd definitely dress like his real self, but he won't show you his true personality because he's been conditioned to vehemently hate it and think it's unappealing since birth.

[icewindandboringhorror]

It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.

Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.

[rosykims]

IVE NEVER GOT THIS HOWE DIALOGUE. THROWING UPPPPPPPPPPPP

[floorpancakes]

i feel like the logical next step to watanuki being mentally ill in two day old eyeliner and expensive heirloom kimono worn as loose fitting loungewear is watanuki being mentally ill in two day old eyeliner and expensive red or purple or black lace trimmed negligees that have a low neckline but maybe thats just me

[humanmorph]

it's crazy to me that everyone keeps saying the people at the archive are sooo nice because I kind of fucking hated it there. oh the people I found so unpleasant to be around that I started taking walks in the rain during my lunch break at 8°C in November so I didn't have to be inside? yeah haha (gritted teeth)

[sysig]

Cat wearing clothes (Patreon)

[dashiellqvverty]

the thing about that last post is that thats exactly how it feels explaining why you are so certain that harry styles is gay/bi for real. except its not obama its. well. you know.

[earlyspringtranscendence]

finished watching lockwood earlier today and im gutted there wont be a second season bc it's so much better than [redacted] on all levels and ALSO claire finlay thompson of costume design fame i owe you my liiiiiiiife

[enigma-the-anomaly]

I hate when there is anger inside my body. I am very small and my feelings are very big :(

[araedi]

// prepare for a spam soon >:) not freed from college for the year yet but only one more essay is technically due before January so I'm excited to get to some fun writing at last!!!

[dvrast]

a thing about jesper is that he is constantly afraid. angry and frightened— that's what the fjerdan had called him. what had matthias and inej seen in jesper that he didn't understand ? / [ stop treating your pain like it's something you imagined. if you see the wound is real, then you can heal it. ] / you taught me to lie. [ to keep you safe. ] i had a gift. you should have let me use it. [ it's not a gift. it's a curse. it would have killed you the same way it killed your mother. ] i'm dying anyway, da. i'm just doing it slow. it's a genetic disease, father to son. inheritance. power, from his mother. fear, from his father.

it was one thing to be born zowa in his father's house, a weight impossible to tip - toe around with the old farm floorboards creaking under every step, something reaching deep down in his chest to hold his breath from a young age. it was that easy, as breathing, as long as it kept the fear off his father's face ; even easier, whispering truths like pearly whites tucked inside unassuming seashells with his mother. she was brave, braver than the both of them, and she made it easy, until she couldn't. after her death, colm's fear deepened, widened, and it swallowed jesper whole.

the world was always too small for jesper, too big, for grisha of any kind, an open range with traps and snares littered every few feet like landmines. you're born as prey animals native to every continent, or trained into predators in ravka. there isn't a single hill or meadow that's safe, not really. this is a part of why he leaves for ketterdam in the first place, no matter how afraid he is to leave his da, alone in a haunted house. but he can't stay there, not when it feels like the same thing that killed his ma is lurking under the floor, hiding in the rafters, breathing down his neck. but it wasn't the house. it was a part of him, some heavy, extra organ, and he takes it with him wherever he goes. it begins to feel like some kind of birth defect, something somewhere just a millimeter out of line, killing him slowly with every too - fast beat of his rabbit heart. sleeping, waking, this inescapable, primal paranoia. it'll kill him, just for being born.

jesper has what we would call generalized anxiety disorder on top of his attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and it's at its worst once he realizes this feeling isn't something he can leave back home in his father's house. one could go mad with it, not a single place in which you can feel yourself, safe, whole, and he feels a little mad, at first, digesting this revelation ; this is his life, a blessed death. this is what it means to be zowa, his mother's son, his father's prodigal, home or far from it, everywhere, anywhere in the world. he can't ever catch his breath in ketterdam, since before even that, light and heavy all at once, a freedom you can only feel from falling. he feels like a dead man walking the streets, less to lose than even that, and it's easy, easy as breathing, to lay down what little money fit in his pockets with or without the promise of it earning any of it back. ketterdam is alive, though, and he learns quickly how fear is in the very air, but with it, an immunity in its people. something fearless in the water. it was almost inevitable, then, that the most fearless creature in the barrel is who jesper finds himself drawn to even more than the promise of a light burning brightest before it goes out, like a moth to flame. kaz brekker makes him feel like he could be brave for the first time since his mother. like he could survive.

fear is a lot easier to face if you don't ever look away in the first place. if you never come down from the high, there's never any crash - landing, and life with the dregs is a rollercoaster of ups and downs to simulate a freefall that's in his actions instead of his bones. joining the dregs, joining kaz, it gives a name to the grip in his chest— a false one, but a name all the same. he can't be afraid of living if he's dodging death left and right. this fear he has is for a bullet in his head, a knife in his back, dime lions or black tips or stadwatch or debt collectors instead of slavers or drüskelle or ravka or poisoned little girls in need of saving or his father's scared, scared eyes— ketterdam is where taking a deep breath could get you killed anyway, and it's the first place he feels he can live in. the first place he feels he could survive, because living in ketterdam demands it.

[cetoddle-archive]

maybe i’ll try actually getting dressed tmrw and go to the library. it’s just so hot 😖 it’s supposed to be a bit cooler wednesday but still so warm ..

[soft-serve-soymilk]

I have acquired the books~! …yeah I’m having a normal one rn

[lunarsapphism]

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[1980ssunflower]

i feel like im melting just thinking abt my ryan 🥺💖💖