#no one’s ever on that side so no one bothers me
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sanriovin · 2 days ago
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steamy shower sex with simon.
the man's just come home from a deployment which took you away from him and him away from you for a whole month. a whole month of both of you having no sexual contact with each other, no calls, no photos, no nothing.
so just imagine the desperation and the raw need between the two of you as he stepped foot back into the place that finally felt like home after so many years of trying to find it, dropping his bag to the wooden floor, not even bothering to take his shoes off as his arms found themselves wrapped tightly around your smaller body, holding you close, so close.
"missed you, lovey." his voice was deep, low, as usual, yet his tone was softened, into one of vulnerability, love, desire, and need. one that he only ever used towards you. only you were deserving of hearing and seeing his true emotions, which were hidden behind a cold mask to others.
you insisted he should take a shower, clean himself up from the messy deployment, ease his stiff, aching joints, slowly ground himself back into the domestic side of his life, even if it wouldn't last forever. not yet, at least, one day, maybe.
however, simon didn't want to be alone yet, no, not after he just came back to his sweetheart. so in the end, the two of you ended up showering together. it started as a normal shower, which slowly escalated into more.
which is how you found yourself, in simon's big, well-trained arms, his scarred fingers pressing tightly into your thighs, back against his muscled chest, as he fucked up into you, his fat cock stretching out your pulsing, clenching walls with a slight new found difficulty from how long he was separated from you. but, that just means he has to get you nice and stretched out, doesn't he?
the running water did little to conceal the groans and low moans from him, and the higher, louder moans and whines from you. your head was leaning against his shoulder, eyes barely open, as his tip repeatedly pressed against your sweetest spots inside you, making you feel dizzy from the unwavering pleasure.
rutting his hips up into you, his grip on you tightened, as he slowly lowered his head, whispering into your ear amidst his noises of pleasure and relief. "feeling good, pretty girl? getting close? i can fucking feel you clenching around me so hard. you wanna cum, yeah?"
he was teasing you with his words, as he soon began to simultaneously bring your wet pussy down onto his dick while fucking up into you, but you knew he was just as wanting as you were in this moment.
your moans grew louder in noise, stirring him on to do the same, his groans and grunts of your name and dirty words growing louder and more rushed. your wetness was dripping down his cock, slipping down his bare, marked skin, leaving a trail which almost immediately got washed off by the running water in the shower.
the glass was steamed up, a white sheet of condensation hiding your two bodies away from the outside. the air was getting hotter and thinner, which, along with your current states, didn't really help much. but, none of that mattered in the moment. what mattered was that you were with simon again, getting one of the best sex experiences in your life.
"g'nna cum, wanna cum, pleasee, 'leasee!" you cried out, turning your head, trying to capture simon's lips in a long-awaited kiss. you could see his eyes moving to look down at your lips, as he lowered his head down, capturing your lips in a wet, messy kiss, one with tongue's meeting, fighting for the dominance, which undoubtedly you had lost quickly.
"you wanna cum, huh?" he muttered out, his pace constant, not speeding or slowing down. "wanna cum so desperately? then do it. be a good girl for me and make a fucking filthy mess."
and that was all it took for you to snap, your body jerking and trembling as the tension in your lower abdomen snapped, mind blank, save for simon's name, as your orgasm hit you so intensely, squirting so hard as your body shook from it. your pussy clenched and twitched so much that that in itself was enough to bring poor simon to the breaking point.
holding you down tightly on him, which was definite to leave many loving, reminiscent marks of what had happened, he let out a lusty, heavy moan, burying his face in your shoulder, as hot spurts of his cum shot into you, intertwining with yours, creating a sticky mess between the two of you as it began to dribble out, getting flushed away through the shower water.
it took you some time to gather yourselves; to catch your breaths, come back to reality, to ground yourselves from the orgasms you had just experienced. simon slowly let you down, turning the shower off, looking down at you, as you slumped against him, barely managing to stand on quivering legs.
"well, that shower was pointless, wasn't it?"
but he wouldn't trade these moments for anything in the world.
(author's note: wrote this on a whim, not too proud of it 🤞)
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lcriedlastnight · 1 day ago
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Hii! I have a request:
Lando's 'friend' (who actually has a crush on him) is rude to his girlfriend (Reader), and reader doesn't say anything because she doesn't want to cause problems. But Lando finds out somehow and decides to show his 'friend' just how much he loves his girlfriend.
I see it more as a kind of smut, but whatever you're comfortable with is fine!
hi! tysm, i don't think i'm completely comfortable with smut, sorry!!
if you see any mistakes you actually didn't because i don't make mistakes that's actually just how those words and spelled now.
1.5k words
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"does she not bother you?" carlos asks you as he watches her throw herself all over your boyfriend. you watch along as well because what were you supposed to do? you sure as hell weren't saying anything to him, they had been friends longer than you had even known lando and you were not the type of girlfriend who told her boyfriend who he can and can't friends with, even if one of them is so clearly throwing herself at him and does not want a platonic relationship with him.
"it just baffles me how he doesn't even notice it. he's completely oblivious. it's insane." you reply back to the spaniard. "she's so rude to me too. i don't think she's ever been nice to me."
carlos scoffs, knowing all too well what she was like, i mean he's had to deal with her for a great deal longer than what you've had to. you're heart does go out to him, poor boy.
before carlos can actually reply to you though, lando makes his way over and of course she is hanging off his arm, like usual. you've never said anything to lando before because you can see every single way that the conversation goes pear shaped but she is acting like she's the one dating your boyfriend and you're just clinging onto him. if nothing it's embarrassing for you and you're friends hadn't been as kind when they told you how looked from the outside.
lando walks over to stand right beside you with his 'best friend' on his other side. carlos give you a look that almost makes you laugh. it was supposed to be a serious look but carlos did not pull it off as effectively as he would've wanted with the alcohol coursing through his veins.
"hey." you greet them both, giving lando a little side hug then taking your arms off him completely. lando looks confused but he doesn't even get the chance to say anything about it because she is opening her mouth and her voice hurts everyone's ears, you're sure of it.
"you not even gonna say hello to your mans best friend?" she slurs, you aren't sure how much she's had to drink but it explains how handsy she was tonight. she's never usually this bold when you were around.
"i did, i was saying hello to you both." you try to clear up. being sober you were not in the mood to argue with some drunk girl who so clearly wanted what you have.
"mhm, sure. you just wish that you and lan are as close as we are!" she giggles. carlos can't even hold in the noise he makes at that and he knows that he has to leave before he says something he might regret in the morning. he leaves with a 'goodbye mate' to lando and a sympathetic look to you, feeling bad for you leaving you.
"why aren't you drinking, lanny?" she asks, voice all high pitched it makes your ears ring. god, you have never wanted to leave somewhere as quick as you did here.
lando gives you a look that you don't have time to decipher before he turns back around to her to answer.
"well, we are going out tomorrow and i don't want to have hangover tomorrow." it's a simple explanation and it's the exact same he had told you when you were both getting ready at his. she grunts and grips his bicep maybe a little too tight for a friend, but again, what were you to do about it?
"ugh, you should just drink! remember when we used to go out partying all night? those were the days huh? no one tying us down?" this tips you over the edge and you decide that it's maybe better for you to leave before you can't control your words or actions anymore.
"i think i'm going to head home." you tell lando, no explanation. lando frowns - you can tell he wants to ask you whats wrong but he can't because she's literally pulling him away from you and towards the bar with what you can only describe as an evil smile on her face.
you decided that lando has to know. this conversation was not going to be easy.
★・・・・・・★
after talking to lando you realise that he actually did start to notice how weird she was acting so it did make you feel a little better. what you weren't looking forward to though was a dinner to celebrate her birthday that you had both been invited to. you were kind of surprised that you had even been invited but still you both decided to dress up and attend the fancy dinner.
lando had promised you in the car that he wasn't putting up with her bullshit tonight and he was just going to tell her directly - her birthday or not. it didn't make you want to attend the dinner anymore than before though.
as lando pulls the car into a parking space around the side of the building, he pulls the hand break up and pulls your hand into his with a promising look in his eyes.
"i know you really didn't want to come tonight - you don't know how much it means to me that you have. i promise the minute she starts i'll call her out and put a stop to it. in front of everyone if i have to." the look in his eyes is enough to tell you that his words hold meaning so you believe him and let his press a sweet kiss to your hand before he;s running around the front of the car to open your car door for you and lead you into the restaurant.
making your way inside you catch the eyes of all of her posh, stuck up friends and they all give you the exact same dirty look that, if it was anyone else, would've made you curl up and wish the night to end so you could go home and cry about it but that was not on the cards for tonight, so you put on a brave face and walk towards the two free seats, clinging onto lando's hand. he gives you a quick squeeze.
the dinner doesn't actually go too bad, but you think that's because you aren't seated close enough to her for her to actually interact with you or lando. you both just keep to yourselves until the end of the night approaches and offers of heading to a nearby club to celebrate further are being thrown around the table like confetti from a canon.
"you'll come out with us, right?" you hear her call from the other end of the table, she was always so desperate to make conversation with lando she would scream at him from miles away. it wouldn't take an idiot to notice lando's discomfort so that's when he decides to excuse himself and head to the toilets to 'freshen up', leaving you alone in your own personal version of hell.
the table was loud, it had been all night but you can hear the words she brags loudly, almost like she wanted you to hear over the bustling crowd surrounding you.
"yeah she's just place holder, lando told me that i was the one for him and that he's just looking for an excuse to throw her to the curb!" her voice is as shrill as usual, maybe even more.
you don't think yourself to be a secure person much but you think this moment may go down as the one moment in your relationship with lando that you think that you are the girl you would pick over anyone else. you feel the rage boil up inside you and just before you can stand up to call her out of her complete and utter bullshit of a lie, a hand is resting softly on your shoulder and before you know it you get a fleeting glimpse of your boyfriend's cheeky smile before he is practically eating you whole.
you and lando have had your fair share of passionate kisses throughout the course of your relationship but every single one of them had been in the privacy of one of your homes, so to kiss him like this where anyone could see, where she could see? it filled you with so much joy and possessiveness that you could never imagine you were even capable of.
lando pulls away with a smile but is leaning back in for a few more quick kisses like he can't get enough of you before he is properly pulling away and holding a hand out for you to take. the entire table is silent, the first time the whole night you think. holding your hand just like when you both arrived, lando throws some cash on the table.
"that's for our meals, thanks for the invite but i don't think we'll be seeing each other again...ever." lando says before practically dragging you to the car, desperate to get you home.
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servicpop · 21 hours ago
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family trip adrien ( deliquent oc ) x bttm m reader
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ⓘ established relationship au
Through the excessive amount of visiting each other's houses almost everyday of the week, it was only natural that your families would grow close.
It wasn't a surprise when you received a pretty little invitation by Adrien to come join him and his family on a small trip to the coast. Since you had nothing better to do that weekend, you gladly accepted. Adrien brought up his family's van and offered you a ride in which you also agreed.
You never thought to ask Adrien about his family, assuming it was a topic he didn't particularly like as he never talked about them anyways. So seeing two little girls and a young boy that were the splitting image of Adrien if not his parents. They were a rather rowdy bunch as Adrien's mother rounded up the little troublemakers into the 2nd row of the van while her husband was busy packing things into the trunk.
“Why didn't you tell me you had siblings? And so many,” You question, turning to Adrien who seemed to be on his last straw trying to get his siblings to calm down.
“Didn't think I seemed like an only child,” he quipped.
You stop yourself from rolling your eyes when Adrien's mother walks up to you. She's gorgeous, straight nut brown hair, short and slim like a doe. It's strikingly different from Adrien's rough appearance.
“Oh dear, it seems like there's only one chair left,” Mrs Castillo's voice is like a hydrating balm to the soul as she places a hand on her cheek.
You open your mouth to propose a solution — as the responsible person you are — but you're acutely cut off by prince charming himself.
“He can sit on my lap, no problem.” You can see the relieved expression Adrien's mother carries before she walks off into the passenger's side of the van, leaving you absolutely speechless.
“Since when did I agree to that?” You sigh, but it's ultimately the only solution you can think of on the spot.
Adrien slips into the back seat first, getting himself comfortable before patting his thighs. There's a sour expression on your face as you climb in, settling yourself on Adrien's lap. He slips on the seatbelt from behind you and slides his arms around your waist, holding you close.
“Don't worry, I'll be your seatbelt.”
“I wasn't worrying.”
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The ride was anything but smooth. You were profoundly aware of every single movement Adrien made underneath you, the soft thumping of his heart rattled against his chest every time you leaned back to rest.
Not to mention his demon-like siblings turning around to ask you bizarre questions.
“Did Adrien kidnap you?” “Do you think you can do a cartwheel and then the splits because I can.” “How much money did he pay you to be here?”
You couldn't even answer one question before another was interjected. Even Adrien seemed annoyed by this constant noise.
“Stop bothering him,” His tone caught you off-guard; it was harsh and grounded like he truly meant it. It didn't seem like the kids understood the message until Adrien swatted at them to turn around.
He sighed, leaning back into the car seat, pulling you down with him.
“They can be a damn handful sometimes,” He exhaled, letting his forehead rest on your shoulder.
The soft gesture, the heat radiating off his face to your shoulder, and his forearms locked tightly around your waist made something in your heart ache ever so slightly. Your fingers hesitantly move to rest on Adrien's arm, patting it gently like you're consoling him.
A few more hours pass by and the kids have already fallen asleep, not a sign of liveliness from the three. Your own eyelids start to grow heavy until the van drives over a rather large speed bump. From the scratchy sound of tires crunching along gravel, you can pretty much assume that the road is going to be filled with dents and bumps.
A barely audible groan comes out from Adrien's throat and you freeze up. Did you hurt him? Your movements are cautious as you turn your torso to look back at him, trying not to move so much so you don't hurt him further.
“Shit, are you okay?” Your eyes narrow and your nose crinkles in concern, Adrien has his head lowered before he lifts it up to meet your gaze.
The hands planted firmly around your body tighten and he pulls you back up against him.
“Just— Stay still,” he grunts out, forehead returning back to your shoulder.
You shuffle just back to get comfortable just enough that you practically grind against the tent growing in Adrien's pants. It takes you a moment to realize what was happening. A small gasp escapes your lips as you grip the flesh on his arm, keeping your head dipped.
The van drives over another bump and you feel it now. Adrien's hand clasps around your shoulder blade and he muffles a strangled grunt again. Your body grows hotter by the second, heat pooling in your lower half.
Now you were both hard.
“Ah shit, prez, you're gonna kill me,” He lets out a dry chuckle, hips twitching from underneath you. You crave it just as bad as you're rocking your body against his in a steady pace. There were too many people in the van, it was way too dangerous to fix the little problem.
“Wait it out,” You whisper, patting his arm once more like trying to calm down a dog.
He doesn't respond, instead, he grumbles into your shoulder.
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The van finally comes to a stop. The engine whirrs off and the kids are hustled out of the doors before you and Adrien climb out behind them. There's a satisfying crackle and pop of your joints as you stretch, letting the good ol' sunlight kiss your deprived skin.
Getting the bags out of the trunk wasn't much work since you packed only for 3 days so you rolled your suitcase into the lobby alongside Adrien's family. A small notification pops up on your screen, a check-in from your family which you happily reply to.
Since it was such a large gathering, the family had split into different rooms with you and Adrien sharing one.
The reception hands Adrien's mother the keycard to each room and she hands them out, passing one to Adrien.
You turn your attention to him to see the guy already racing his way towards you, grabbing your wrist and pulling you past his family. You can hear a brief exchange of words between him and his dad, picking up on the lousy excuse that you're 'tired.'
Through the lobby, past the pools, around the bar and to your shared room. Adrien smashes the key card against the reader and he slams the door open.
“Fucking finally,” he sighs, shutting the door behind himself and burying his hands into the back of your head. He's tangling his fingers in your hair, pulling it back before latching his mouth onto yours.
He's practically welding himself to you, devouring your lips in a heated kiss. He pulls back to look into your eyes before he goes in for a second serving. Adrien guides you towards the bedroom, lips never leaving yours as he gently pushes you back onto the bed.
“You know how hard it was to keep myself in line?” Adrien chuckled against your cheek, his hands beginning to descend your body, tracing all the way down to the waistband of your pants.
“That's your job baby, not mine.”
You have half the heart to complain when he's pulling off your pants, lifting your hips off the bed to help him slide your clothes off. He pulls both your legs up and over his shoulders before kneeling onto the ground beside the bed.
“Adrien,” you call out his name almost breathlessly, fingers finding purchase in his thick hair.
He responds with a small hum that causes his throat to vibrate ever so slightly. Adrien's hands are coiled around your thighs, palms laying flat on your lower stomach as he leans in to kiss your inner thigh.
His lips tickle your skin and you can't help but jerk your leg from the sensation—which you're prevented from doing so by his arms holding your legs hostage.
Warmth envelops your lower half as Adrien wraps his mouth around your cock. His breath is hot against your trembling skin and he forces the most obscene noises out his throat. Slick slurping sounds mixed with groans and sighs like he's been starved a hearty meal.
The hand on your stomach slides up, pushing your shirt further so he could feel the flat plane of your torso. Your squirms and thigh twitches are held down by his built arms—it honestly seems like he trains just for this.
“Could do this for days.” its hard to tell what he's saying since all his words and muffled and gurgled.
He pulls off for one second to fish out lubricant from the hotel drawers, applying a hefty amount to his fingers before returning back to you.
Sliding back down to his knees, he prods a finger to your winking hole, teasing and pushing past that ring of muscle and pulling it back out just to watch it shiver from the loss.
“Pervert,” You grumble under your breath.
“Who's the one who asked me out?”
You shoot Adrien an irked glare but the annoyance fades from your face the moment he wraps his mouth around your dick once more. Your eyes flutter as he finally pushes that finger in, sliding in a second to slowly scissor you loose.
He's more skilled than you with his tongue and you can't help but wonder what his past experiences were like; you dismiss that thought as quick as it came.
You look down at him from half-closed eyes, watching as he hollows his cheeks to take in more. You're practically whining and thrashing around in his grip. He's buried his face to the hilt, nose brushing against your pelvic bone. Its almost a ticklish sensation, feeling him breathe against your skin.
His fingers press and pressure your walls, pushing them apart to ready you for his cock. He's rhythmically pushing his fingers deeper, curling at the apex before pulling them back, repeating that process in a steady pace. You can feel them hit your prostate, sending jolts straight to your dick.
It's too much for you to handle; your hips are rising to meet the bob of his head, back arching off the satin white sheets.
“Wait— Adrien pull off I don't want you to—” Your words are all diced up, spoken in short gasps as you try to pry his head off from your aching cock.
You succeed—for a bit—before he's dipping all the way down again, holding your hips steady as he forces you down his throat. He's fucking loving it too, moaning with your dick in his mouth as his fingers speed up, pistioning two fingers into your hole.
Your hips raise even more and he encourages it.
His name comes spilling out of your mouth like a mantra as your muscles spasm from the intensity of your orgasm. Adrien keeps sucking like he's trying to wring every last drop from you. You feel his tongue swirl over your slit, lapping up your sweet fluids.
He slides himself off of you, letting you rest on the bed for a bit as he tilts his head back. His Adam's apple bobs while he swallows, and he lowers his head back down to smile at you.
“Don't tell me you're tired already, I haven't even taken off my pants yet,” he tsks at you, shaking his head disapprovingly while he joins you on the bed. You're still dazed from how hard you just came but a warm hand pulls you back down to earth.
Adrien's hand grazes over your cheek delicately as he hovers over you, caging you in with two arms on either side of your head.
“Just relax prez, I'll do all the work, 'kay?” He takes your little grunt as an 'okay,' rolling you onto your stomach and guiding your head to rest on the pillow. It smells so distinctly of freshly cleaned hotel sheets with a hint of citrus and bleach that you take a moment to close your eyes and enjoy the scent.
You can feel the mattress dip on either sides of your hips as he plants his knees there. He leans his head down to peek at your blissed-out face, pressing a light kiss to your cheek. You can feel his hands run down the curve of your spine, running over your lower back before he settles them on your waist.
“Are you relaxed?” He hums, leisurely rolling his hips against you. His tone is so sultry it causes your muscles to visibly relax under the siren call of his voice.
A hand moves down to where your leg meets the curve of your ass, parting the round flesh for him to comfortably slide in. He had stretched you out enough that it slipped in with ease, hugged by your warm velvet walls.
He sucks in air between his teeth while he steadily rocks his body back and forth, tuning into the wet squelching sound with each thrust.
“Feel it yet?” He chuckles, poking fun at the fact that you've been too dazed to respond to him. You nod against the pillow, your hair spilling over the silk case like spilt water. A small, shaky exhale leaves your nose as he begins to hasten his thrusts. It's almost bruising as he slams himself against your tailbone—you know you'll be whining about the soreness tomorrow morning.
Your voice gradually gets louder as he pounds you into the bed, fingers curled up in the sheets as he slams his pelvis against your ass. You can feel him throb from inside you, twitching and ready.
A particularly deep thrust has you crying out into the pillow but you can't squirm, not when Adrien is pinning you down with his body weight. He's pushing against your prostate over and over again and you can feel that familiar feeling of an orgasm creeping up on you.
“Fuck, Adrien,” You hiccup, muffled by the fluff of the pillow, eyes flickering like you're struggling to keep them open.
“Yeah baby?” You can hear the smirk in his tone as he keeps at the rough pace. He's hitting all the right spots and your dick appreciates. You feel a hand dip under your neck, cupping the curve of your throat as Adrien lifts your head up to face him.
He moves in to kiss you, soft and gentle as he wraps his arms around your whole body, holding you in a tight grip while continuously slamming himself deeper into you. Your loud cries and moans are enveloped by Adrien's mouth, swallowed up.
“You gonna cum? Feels so good you just can't hold it in?” He cooes, chuckling against your swollen lips as he feels you tremble underneath him. You swear stars enter your vision and your eyes roll back, muscles jerking and tensing as you let out a string of whimpers while your orgasm comes crashing onto you.
Adrien buries himself to the hilt before emptying out all he's worth, coating your insides with his dna. He groans as he pulls out halfway just to watch his semen flood out of your hole, still tightly clenched around his cock.
He sits up, raking his fingers through his tousled hair and sighs with satisfaction like drinking an ice cold soda in a hot summer day.
“You tired prez?” He asks, smiling down at you. His eyes narrow and concern settles in when you don't move or answer him.
“Baby?” He quickly leans back down to look at your face only to see your peaceful expression, eyes closed and mouth slightly agape. He lets out a relieved chuckle before pulling out, sliding off the bed to grab a towel.
He figured he'd get you some fruit to replenish your energy, pulling on some of his clothes after cleaning you up and getting you comfortable in the bed. He makes his way to the buffet, piling all favorite fruits and sweets onto his plate before he spots his family.
“Where's your boyfriend?” Adrien's mother asks, also holding a plate of food. Seemed like the two of you missed lunch.
“He's uh—” Adrien tenses knowing that he can't just openly admit to his mother that he fucked the daylights out of you.
“Taking a nap.”
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princesssmars · 2 days ago
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it's getting sticky!
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a little vi x reader
wc : 1.166
inspired by this tweet. don't look at me.
contains : boxer!vi ib this, fem!reader, scissoring, vi's a horndog wbk.
a/n: can't wait for act 4 to drop next week don't worry they just took a week's break guys. pitfighter vi changed my life i had to keep pausing the episodes to scream into my hands baby girl come home.
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ever since vi had met you, she had been discovering quite a few new things about herself.
she is apparently an active sleeptalker, has a habit of biting her lips when thinking, and once she gets you in bed she needs to keep going until she passes out.
she’d always known she had a soft spot for pretty girls, constantly flirting with and taking home the girls who showed up to her matches with her face plastered on their shirts and phone cases. but eventually, she started to grow a bit bored with the routine of a night of rough sex with a stranger before parting ways, never to meet again. well, hopefully. unfortunately, some of the girls could get a bit obsessed. one of the cons of being too good with a strap.
but like a deity above heard her secret prayers she spots you in the crowd at one of her shows, oh-so-pretty face stuck staring down at your phone as a girl she assumes is your friend looks on to the match with glee. as cliche as it was, she was instantly intrigued.
she had no choice but to come up to you after the show, black leather jacket slung over her shoulders as she greets you with a flirty smile and one of her most trusty pick up lines to make you laugh.
you aren't impressed. you do call her cute, which is a win in her book. luckily your friend is a huge fan, and manages to persuade you into giving her your number for an autograph. she swears she hears the girl call her hot when your friend drags you away, and she doesn’t hear you disagree.
you make it very clear at the start of the relationship that you know about her reputation with other women, and that you don't want to have sex until you are sure she is committed to you. and while she obviously respects your boundaries, taking the care to make she never goes too far whenever things do start to get a little more intimate, she has to admit it’s a bit of a struggle to keep it in her pants. she swears after a few weeks you start teasing her, hugging her from behind when you're in a towel fresh out of the shower and wearing tops with lower and lower necklines.
and once you finally do tell her you're ready to go all the way? the girl is stuck on you from sunset to sundown, wringing countless orgasms from you until you have to use the last of your energy to tap out.
she adores how you can keep up with her, especially after she successfully wins a match. the adrenaline from the fight is still pumping through her veins, sweat and bruises dotted over her skin as she rushes over to you once she’s cleared of injuries and lifts you up in her arms, twirling you around until she starts to get dizzy. the sound of your squeals and giggles as she bites and kisses at your neck one of her favorite sounds in the world.
it can only be paralleled by the noises you’re making now, desperate and pitched-up whines and gasps as you sit across from her, eyes drooping and head falling back as you grind your hips into hers. she had been so desperate to get her hands on you that she couldn’t be bothered to pull down either of your underwear, the friction from her boxers and your panties making her eyes roll into the back of her head. she’s sure the grip her hand has on your leg propped up next to her is too tight and sure to leave a slight bruise, but you only subtly push it closer to her grip, biting your lip when her nails dig into your skin.
“come on, come on pretty girl, keep giving it to me.”
her hoarse voice pants, tilting her hips just the slightest to the side so that her clit rubs even harder on the wet fabric below, brushing against yours the slightest bit to make you let out a needy moan. normally her dirty words are enough to send you into overdrive but she can tell that tonight the euphoria is getting to you, too deep in the experience to register what she’s saying. her other hand that's not gripping onto you for dear life reaches over, her breath hitching when her cunt presses even harder into yours, and gently but firmly grabs you by the back of the head so your head is upright again.
“vi, ‘h my god-” your moan is cut off by her plush lips harshly pressing into yours and sticking her tongue in your mouth, muscles massaging each other before she pulls away and watches the string of spit that connects you to each other. a dopey grin grows on her face before she ever so slightly tilts your head down, laughing at the strained gasp that leaves your throat.
even with fabric there you’re obviously both soaked, dark and light materials stained by yourselves and each other and only growing more intense by the second. it creates a perfect blend of embarrassment but arousal in you that forces you to grind yourself into her harder, chasing that high for the both of you as you hear the audible noises of your bodies meeting.
as you both get closer you start to get clingier, your trembling hands resting on vi’s shoulders as a subtle hint that she picks up on immediately. she helps you to wrap your arms around her shoulders as hers moves to your back, squeezing your sides and rubbing over the skin when your teary exhausted voice calls her name over and over as you get closer and closer to the edge.
“vi, vi, ‘m so close, please, oh shit harder-”
“i know, i know, baby. just a little more, fuck you feel so good, prettiest girl, god prettiest pus-”
she smiles and bites into your shoulder when your orgasm finally hits you, the desperate grinding of your hips paired with the breathy whining from your throat right next to her ear sending her to nirvana right after you, broad hands pulling your overstimulated into hers so she can keep using your pliant body to carry her through her orgasm.
you sit in each other's arms for a minute, hands softly brushing through each other's hands and pressing kisses to each other shoulders. she loves these little moments with you where she can just bask in the fuzzy post-sex bliss with you. she loves it even more when she delicately rubs herself into you to test the waters, always met by your lovesick giggle as you hold onto her tighter and return the movement, ready to go as soon as she gives you a sign.
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im pregnant and pifighter vi is the father
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st7rnioioss · 1 day ago
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꣑ৎ BUNNY!READER x SHY!MATT STURNIOLO
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˚𝜗𝜚 warnings... my awkward babiessss, crying, comforting, soo gentle kisses, pet names (baby, sweetie, princess, sweetheart), matt being gentle with bunny!reader :((
matt’s fingers ran carefully up and down your back, resting his chin on your shoulder as his other arm tightened its grip around your waist, pulling you closer to his chest, praying you couldn’t feel his heart going a million miles per hour.
you let out soft sobs and cries, your face buried in matt’s neck, your arms draped awkwardly over his shoulders as the tears kept flowing from your waterline. he felt your hot breath on his neck, your breathing unsteady as you let out cries between breaths.
matt knew how sensitive you were, and how easily the waterworks started coming from just a small snarky comment. you never talked much back, so whenever someone threw a hateful comment your way, you got so confused and frustrated that you couldn’t help your eyes brimming with tears.
matt didn’t mind it one bit - he loves you unconditionally and is always there to help and ‘hug it better’, as he says.
he hates seeing his pretty girl upset. he’s so used to your soft-spoken nature, always treating everyone and everything with so much care and gentleness. he doesn’t mind that you’re a crybaby at heart.
so when you came home from work, your adorable face already pouty and not looking back up at him when he greeted you, he knew immediately something was wrong. he helped you get out of your coat and shoes, taking your hand to bring you to your bed and shyly heisting you onto his lap.
“m’sorry, matt..” your crying always left your mind running. not only did it make you completely nervous and awkward sitting in his lap, but now you were crying and clinging onto him. you thought you had completely ruined matt’s peaceful day by coming home with teary eyes until he shushed you.
“shh, none of that, sweetie..” he felt his heart ache at your quiet sobs, bringing your face to his chest as his hand made it to the back of your head, his chin now resting on the top of your head. “i hate seein’ you cry.. you gotta let me know what’s bothering you, sweetheart.”
you shuffled closer to him, if possible, letting out a sob as you felt the hot tears roll down your cheeks. “it was at the bakery t’day,” you sniffled, your arms wrapping around his middle, toying with the fabric of his shirt, his fingers caressing the back of your head. “um.. a woman came in, and- and she started complaining about something i made.. and said the service was horrible… she was so mean!” you sobbed, feeling matt pull back slowly to look at you, meeting your teary eyes.
he cupped your face with both his hands, his lips turning into a copy of your pouty ones. his eyes were ever so gentle, his thumbs shyly wiping the tears off your flushed cheeks as the fat tears fell.
“oh, princess.. don’t listen to a word she said. y’know how hard you work, she’s got no clue what she’s on about. i’ve tried every single pastry, and they’re all just as sweet as you.” his words were firm but he had such a pleasant and careful tone to them. one of his hands let go of your face, tucking a few strands of hair behind your ear, offering you a weak smile.
your heart fluttered at his words and actions, returning the faint smile while leaning into his touch. “thank you, matt..” you mumbled, regulating your breathing as he mumbled a quiet “you’re welcome.” you brushed some curls of hair out of his eyes, flicking it to the side to properly meet his shy gaze.
you both kept eye contact, until you noticed matt’s face starting to blush, making you smile wider, looking away from him as your own face heated up. your heart was thumping away as he chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. he wanted to kiss your adorable face so bad, to kiss the tears away. but instead he looked away as well. by now, you had completely stopped crying, forgetting all about the rude lady, just sucking in the moment.
you suddenly felt a little awkward, being so, so close to him, and getting a little flustered from crying into his neck for the past fifteen minutes or so. matt felt the exact same way, but not that either of you was complaining about it. he liked being close to you, and so did you.
when you met his eyes again, he saw his shot to gently lean forward, kissing your pouty lips, his lips barely even touching yours. it was a silent way of telling you that he was always there to reassure you, always by your side no matter what.
as always, the feather-light kiss left you flustered, shyly looking back up at him with a wicked smile on your lips. his own face was beet red, getting all hot and bothered from, in his world, bold move. his fingers came to rest under your chin, tilting your head backward to peck your lips again, the soft kiss making both your heads spin.
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more bunny!reader here!
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୭˚. ᵎᵎ tags: @jetaimevous @missmimii @mattscoquette @pearlzier @witchofthehour @elizasturn @loveparqdise @sturnsmia @delilahsturniolo @phone4pills
let me know if you'd like to be added or removed at any time!
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© ST7RNIOIOSS est. 2023
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33max · 18 hours ago
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winter warmers ☃️ - day one, lingerie
max/daniel, 921 words, mostly sfw (only one cock mention and one hole mention)
Max is not usually shy. Daniel knows this and has experienced first-hand exactly how not shy Max is. There have been times when Daniel has been showering and Max has barged right in to take a piss a couple of feet away. A few too many times where Max has told Daniel, in excruciating detail, about the food poisoning he caught from a dodgy kebab shop in Milton Keynes. And more recently, he’s not been shy about how much he likes it when Daniel puts him face down on the mattress and pulls his ass cheeks apart to tongue at him there.
So, Daniel doesn’t know why Max is so tight-lipped about this particular thing. As far as kinks go, this is probably closer to the vanilla side of the kinky scale.
But Max is still shy about it. He blushes whenever Daniel brings the subject up. Once, he even choked on his mostly empty gin and tonic, coughing loudly until Daniel dropped the conversation and instead started patting him on the back.
The thing is, Daniel is like a dog with a bone. From the moment he first brought it up with Max and it elicited cherry red cheeks and a spluttering dismissal from his boyfriend, Daniel has thought of nothing else.
Two things are certain.
Max Verstappen wants to wear lingerie.
And Max Verstappen is too proud to admit it.
So Daniel takes it into his own hands, and starts searching for the most perfect lingerie set he can find for Max.
Choosing the right colour is hard because as far as Daniel is concerned, Max looks good in everything. But it’s important he gets this right.
Orange seems too obvious.
Red seems too predictable.
Navy blue is too close to Max’s work attire.
White would look lovely on Max’s pale skin, but Daniel is looking for something with contrast. Something that will stand out.
He sees a forest green set online and immediately starts entering his credit card information because he knows Max will look gorgeous in this colour. Milky white skin underneath forest green lace.
It has a corset, panties and a garter belt. Daniel doesn’t even bother to read the price tag. The price doesn’t matter when it’s for Max.
When the set arrives, Daniel spends a long time deciding how he is going to gift the set to Max… who probably still thinks he has successfully shown little interest in any sort of lingerie. After much deliberation, Daniel ends up leaving the set, wrapped up in a fancy gift box, on their bed for Max to find.
That way, Max can spend some time looking at the details without pretending to be uninterested in front of Daniel. He can run his fingers over the lace and hold it up to his body and maybe even try it on. So, as desperate as Daniel is to see Max’s reaction to the gift, he knows he needs to let Max process this by himself if he ever wants to actually see him in the lace.
Not that Daniel is counting but it is exactly forty-three minutes after Max walks into their bedroom and finds the lingerie that Daniel hears a faint “Daniel? Can you come here?”
He doesn’t know if he walks or teleports to the bedroom, but the next thing he knows he is standing in the doorway looking at Max, who is completely naked clutching the gift box tightly to his chest.
“Do you like them?” Daniel asks, letting his eyes roam over Max’s exposed skin. He’s so hot.
“No,” Max lies, but it’s with a small lopsided smile. His cheeks are pink.
“Are you sure?” Daniel laughs, eyes trailing to where Max’s cock is chubbing up between his legs. Twitching.
“Will you help me put them on?”
Daniel doesn’t answer him, it’s a silly question, and he is already practically vibrating with anticipation. Instead, Daniel walks towards Max and carefully takes the box out of his grip.
“Let’s get you all dressed up,” Daniel says, leaning in to press a line of kisses along Max’s collarbones. “You are going to look so beautiful in these, baby. I bought them just for you.”
Max lets out a tiny breathy moan.
“How long have you wanted this?” Daniel can’t help but ask. He’s been dying to know.
“I don’t know,” Max blushes harder, his cheeks so pink. “Always.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Max shrugs. “I didn’t want you to think I was weird.”
“Maxy, it’s totally normal. It’s a normal thing to want.” Daniel reassures. “You could be into almost anything, and I’d be into it too because you like it.”
Max blushes harder.
“Baby?” Daniel says. He’s very aware that Max is still completely naked, and he is fully clothed, he doesn’t want Max to feel too exposed so he will drop it the moment Max looks even slightly overwhelmed.
“Itsnotjustasexthing!” Max blurts out, before turning away, his eyes firmly avoiding Daniel.
It takes a few moments to process what Max has said. It’s not just a sex thing.
“Max, baby, look at me.” Daniel says, “Even more reason to let yourself wear them.”
Max’s blue eyes search Daniel’s until finally, those words seem to sink in.
“Ok?” Daniel asks.
“Ok.”
“Let’s get you in these panties,” Daniel says, tickling at Max’s sides.
Daniel is right. Forest green is Max’s colour.
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milla-frenchy · 2 days ago
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A/N: This one is gonna hurt. I’m so sorry.
Oh Ally... ngl, I'm a little scared 👀 Ok let's go!!
His black t-shirt is pulled up just slightly and his hand is what's mostly in focus, holding onto his cock that is peeking out of his flannel pajama pants. He is pulling his foreskin down tight making the head of his cock flush with color against his skin.  The shadowiness makes his happy tail look even thicker and more unruly than what you have seen.  
wtf, is your goal to make me horny before breaking my heart? Because if that's the case, congrats 😂😭
“Mmm what are you doing to me, baby girl.”
Fuck
“I’ll call you, alright?” His voice is firm, there is no room for questions.  “Alright.” You force a smile and he nods and heads to his truck. It was hard not to take that as asking you not to bother him. He wasn’t being unkind in his tone, but he wasn’t being truthful either.   You can’t shake the feeling that something is off. 
Aaaaaaah I already wanna cry 😭Ally 😭
“I never asked you for anything.” Tess utters quietly. Joel nods in agreement, silently reliving all the things he loved about her. Still loves about her. “Never had to.” Joel gives a gentle side smile. Their eyes meet. Eyes that are intimate and mourning all at once. Hopeful and nostalgic. 
Oh damn this is so beautiful
Questioning why Tess was introducing you to the man you had been fucking for the past few weeks. The man who had naked photos of you on his phone. The man you were hopelessly besotted with.  Joel’s eyes glance up at you and for the first time ever he looks sheepish. He holds his hand out standard and practical. Emotionless like it's a formal business greeting.  “Joel. Nice to meet you.” You stare, dumbfounded by his words, spoken so nonchalant.  Nice to meet me? 
Oh fuuuuuck.
Joel stares him down as he walks away and you could have easily mistaken it for jealousy. The irony of it, as your harmless flirting was nothing compared to his potential relationship with your boss. You needed answers, whether or not Joel wanted to disavow you.
Omg I love this so much!!! I just love it, when joel is emotionally unavailable, breaks our heart, but shows evidence of jealousy and possessiveness, aaaaaaah 😍😍😍
The bartender interrupts you to hand you your drink and gives Joel the side eye, no doubt noticing how prickly he was and how much your demeanor had changed from earlier.  “What are you staring at?” Joel snaps at the bartender. His intimidating tone was low but it was threatening. His misplaced anger was looking for any way to escape.  “Relax, bud.” He puts his hands up in a submissive gesture and backs off.  He glances back over to you but you look away and don’t make eye contact with him again. “She ain't’ interested.” He threatens and somehow makes himself look even bigger. The bartender nods with a knowing smile that might as well say ‘not worth the trouble’ as he grabs Joel’s empty beer bottle and moves on. He wasn’t interested enough to contest with Joel.   You hate how much it turns you on to see him get protective over you.
DEAD.
I had to quote all of it because damn that was so fucking good!!
He presses up against you, pinning you against a stack of boxes. It is reserved but still so sensual. He pushes your hair behind your ear and combs his fingers through it, smelling your sweet scent mixing with his woodsy, pine cologne. 
Fuck. I would fall for him 😭😂
And then, the song? Oh my heart... This is so good, Ally ❤️❤️
And I wonder what you got for us in the next part 😍😍
The Wolf You Feed (Part 4)
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Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader
Word Count: 8.1k
Part 4 / ? (Ongoing) A O 3 | M A S T E R L I S T
Summary: Set in a fictional New England town, you fall for your handsome, intense and outdoorsy neighbor while renting out your parent's vacant summer home during a brutal winter.
Chapter Warnings: ANGST. Smut. POV-Switching. Rated Explicit. 18+ MDNI. See series masterlist for complete warnings.
A/N: This one is gonna hurt. I’m so sorry.
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You get ready for bed and eye the flannel that you stole from Joel’s house. You hold it close to your chest and breathe in his scent that still lingers. 
You strip down to nothing but your lacy panties and don his shirt. You precariously drape it off your shoulders and look at yourself in the mirror. 
Joel would love this. 
Your hair is still damp and messy from your shower but you look clean and bright. The I’m positively smitten glow you have makes you radiate. 
You position yourself on your bed perched on your knees with your legs spread open. You adjust the shirt just right to hang over your shoulders and around your breasts, just barely covering your nipples.
With your phone positioned slightly above you, you snap a pic while making your most innocent face. Your full body is in the frame and perfectly teasing with your frumpy shirt placement. Your sluttiest black, lacey panties also help to conceal just enough to be a tease. 
You: Getting ready for bed
You attach the photo and send it. You sit back on your heels and eagerly watch for the read receipt. He is quick to reply.
Joel: Goddamn
Joel: Beautiful
A brief pause. 
Typing. Typing. Typing. 
Joel: Got any more?
Your heart skips a beat. You absolutely want to give him more. 
You: Maybe
You sit back and let the flannel shirt drape open, fully exposing your breasts and your hardened nipples. You sit more upright, and grab a fistfull of your hair and gaze up to the camera, looking a little deranged and lustful. You eye your photo before sending it, impressed with yourself. 
Sent.
Joel: Fuck
Joel: Look at them tits 
You smirk as you imagine him losing his mind and hope he is as horny as you are. You feel your heat begin to surge inside. You feel so needy for his cock.
You: Your turn
You weren’t too sure what to expect or if he would even play along but after a minute you got your answer.
The photo he sends is so poorly taken, it is endearing when you get over the disappointment of not having his dick perfectly photographed. It’s dark and grainy. You can just make out the navy blue sheets under his skin to deduce he is in his bed too. His black t-shirt is pulled up just slightly and his hand is what's mostly in focus, holding onto his cock that is peeking out of his flannel pajama pants. He is pulling his foreskin down tight making the head of his cock flush with color against his skin.  The shadowiness makes his happy tail look even thicker and more unruly than what you have seen.  
Nevertheless, it is undeniably Joel. The flutter you get inside that you only ever felt from him.
You: Joel, how naughty 
One more photo, he earned it. 
This time, you let the shirt fall off completely to your hips. You slide one of your hands into your panties and hook your thumb over the edge to pull them down. You make a “V” with your fingers and press yourself apart so your swollen clit is in full view. With your free hand you snap one last picture and send it. This one is more focused and does not show your face, but it certainly was an eyeful. You doubt he would even be looking elsewhere.
Your message is instantly read. After a moment Joels typing comes and goes until it stops completely. You wonder if he is touching himself. Hope he is touching himself. You impatiently rub your fingers against yourself while you wait, aching at the thought of him.
Your screen changes to an incoming call from Joel Miller. 
Of course you answer it as calmly as you can.
“Hey, Mr. Miller.” You greet him with a flirty tone.
“Mmm what are you doing to me, baby girl.” He speaks low and sounds relaxed and groggy. You wonder if you woke him up when you sent the first pic and kind of hope you did.
“Just getting ready for bed and thinking about you.”
You hear him make a breathy acknowledgement and you know he is stroking himself just by how he is breathing. You feel bolder and more daring talking to him on the phone. You can be a tease and he can’t do anything about it. 
You put it on speaker so you can have both your hands free.
“Wishing it was your fingers on me.” You lay back on your bed and slide your fingers over your clit until a moan escapes you. “Or your cock.”
“Mmm. Keep going,” he growls low. 
Even on the phone he has to be bossy. His voice cuts straight through you. Always so commanding but spoken with a warmness that makes you melt. 
You slide a finger inside your wet and needy cunt and use your other hand to tease your clit. 
“Joel…” you rasp his name low as you moan. “How hard are you right now?”
You hear him chuff quietly. 
“Bout ready to come, sweetheart.”
His shallow breathing and occasional grunt cheers you on. Your hands are so inadequate compared to his. You need to be filled by him. Want his rough hands putting friction in all the right spots.  
You fumble with your nightstand drawer for your dildo. His ears pick up on the creak of the wooden drawer opening and he stops you in your tracks. 
“No toys.” His stern voice commands. “I want you to get off with your fingers.” 
You can hear his grin on the other end.   
“... and beg for my cock.”
That wouldn’t be hard to do. You already are screaming inside for him to put you out of your misery. Your performative moans are now all too real.   
“Joel… fuck.” You whine but bring your hand back to your opening and press inside with two of your fingers while you massage your clit. 
His authoritative demands empower you. Hearing him breathing, groaning and barking orders at you makes it a lot easier to get yourself to the edge. Despite how tiny your hands are in comparison, your mind fills in all the gaps as his voice penetrates your ears. 
“I want you to fill me,” you whine.   
“Mmm. Gonna make a mess of me.” He sounds haggard. He has been holding back his own release for sure. The thought of making Joel Miller come undone over the phone is intoxicating.
You moan and your breath hitches as you can feel yourself teetering on the edge. Pleading to release.
“Joel…” You whimper. Begging. 
“Come for me, baby.” His commanding tone returns, beckoning you to do as he asks. 
“Let me hear you. Come for daddy.”
You gasp at his words. That was never something you thought you were into. It went straight to your pussy. Your walls flutter around your fingers as you replay his words in your head. You do come for him, hard, and let him hear you climaxing over the thoughts of him inside you. 
“Mmmm.” He groans low as you ride your climax high and let your desperate sounds tip him over the edge.
His labored breathing and raspy moans pick up and you know he is coming.   
He goes silent and You can just imagine him laying in his bed with his cock in his hand, pumping himself until he comes over his knuckles. Spent and sticky. 
A moment passes as you both breathe heavily catching your breath. Enjoying the moment with one another and relishing in the aftermath of your shared experience.   
“Such a good girl.” He praises. “Now, get some sleep.” 
You roll your eyes. As if sleeping was going to come easy at this point. 
“Night, sweetheart.”
“Night… daddy.” You smirk to yourself, amused and satisfied, and hang up. 
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You were pretty shocked to see Joel in your driveway come the next morning. He was scraping ice off your windshield and there was a fresh tossing of salt and sand on your walkway. There was some freezing rain overnight, unbeknownst to you. 
“Hey, you really don’t have to do that for me.” You call out as you lock your door and make your way down the path. 
“I know.” He scrapes at the last bits of frost. “Still gonna.”
You brighten at the way he says it. Feminism be damned, it felt really good to have this man looking out for you.  
You were looking real cute in your Bean boots and beanie. Acting a little more timid compared to your late night activities. 
You shoved your hands in your jacket pockets and walked over to your car with a cutesy spring in your step. Joel tried to hide his disdain for your carefree jaunt down the icy path. Still, he looked so handsome in his brown suede coat and his relentless refusal to wear a winter hat. Always wielding that power to make you melt in his presence.
“Thank you.” You smile at him as you approach him at arm's length. “Still not giving you the shirt back,” you tease.
“Don’t want it back.” He holds back a smirk and quickly looks you over. Reliving last night's photos, you can imagine. You suppress a wicked smile imagining him saving them in his main album like a heathen.
He takes a step towards you and with his gloved hand he gently holds your chin and brushes his thumb over. You note the subtle way his eyes soften. His longing stare makes it feel like he isn’t going to see you for a long time, and it lingers. He drops his hand and puts it on his hip. His other hand fidgets with his leg like he is unsure what to do. 
“I’m not gonna be around for a little while” He hesitates and looks like he wants to say more and you pickup that something is off. Something he still has decided you are not privy to know about. Whatever has been bothering him the past few days is still weighing on him. “I got some stuff to take care of and I’ll be real busy.”
“Ok, Joel.” You don’t give away that you think he sounds suspicious. Guilty even. You want to press him, but you let it go, again. You open your mouth to speak but he cuts you off.   
“I’ll call you, alright?” His voice is firm, there is no room for questions. 
“Alright.” You force a smile and he nods and heads to his truck. It was hard not to take that as asking you not to bother him. He wasn’t being unkind in his tone, but he wasn’t being truthful either.  
You can’t shake the feeling that something is off. 
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You are dragging your feet at work. After your late night fun with Joel your mind was wide awake and you had trouble sleeping. 
Marlene is extra bubbly today. She is riding the Friday wave and you are grateful she takes on more of the customer facing role while you just work mindlessly making endless orders of lattes and cold brews. 
“So, do you wanna?”
“Huh?” she had been talking to you, apparently. 
“Do you want to go out tonight?” 
“Oh. Yeah, ok.”
“You sound really interested.” She says sarcastically while she stares at you and crosses her arms.
“Sorry, just tired. Yes, I’d love to.” 
“Good. Meet at Copper’s around 8? They are doing all night happy hour and open mic.”
“Sounds good.” And it does sound good. Something to do to keep yourself busy and it’s better than going home and watching Netflix by yourself. You have no idea how long Joel is going to be occupied and Marlene is the only other person you would consider a friend since moving there. It would be nice to spend some real time with her outside of work. 
“Its not the classiest place, but the crowd is good. Dress slutty and maybe we can get some free drinks.” Marlene jokes, but you have every intention to dress like a knockout and have a good time. 
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When you walk in it becomes obvious you are overdressed. Many eyes were on you. You stuck out and had a lot of attention, some unwanted, but it also was flattering. Your choice of black minidress was conventionally good for a night of drinking and letting loose, but less practical once you walked through the door and saw what you were working with. 
Copper’s was just a few notches above a dive bar and significantly less upscale than the late night Boston clubs and speakeasy’s you frequented. It was mostly crawling with locals, many of which you recognized from Grind. Despite that, the energy felt good. Friendly faces lit up when they saw you and even more cast some not-so-conspicuous stares at your body when they thought you were not looking. 
The expansive bar wrapped around the back wall and there was a small stage on the wall across from it. High tops and tables filled out most of the middle with little room to do much more than sit and socialize. Get drunk off beer and cocktails and fat off appetizers and hot wings. The whole place was a little chaotic and rough but it felt cherished. It embodied that small town feel that was brought to life by the patrons. 
Marlene walks up to you with some sort of fruity cocktail in each hand. Dressed much more casually than you with a high waisted denim skirt and a low cut band tee. 
“About time you get here. Damn, girl!” She looks you up and down as she hands you the drink. “You don’t play around.” You share a laugh, and relish your new, unexpected friendship. 
The cocktail is overkill on the sweetness but the vodka hits you hard when you take a sip. 
“You didn’t tell me this place was a dive!” You tease. 
“Well it’s the only bar we have open year-round so don’t knock it.” She pretends to scold you.
“I’m joking. This is perfect.” And it was. 
You and Marlene make quick work of your drinks as you float around the bar. She introduces you to new people and you get friendlier with familiar faces. The bartender flirts with you when he learns you are new to town and you indulge in some harmless fun. 
The bar is quickly filling up and you think it must be a fire code violation at this point. You buy the second round of drinks and take a seat while you still can. Laughter and the high from your buzz set you on the right path and you are filled with gratitude for your new friendships and your new home.
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[Joel POV]
Joel fiddles with his empty beer bottle, unsure what the hell he is doing. Tess should be arriving any moment now, and he is no closer to ending things with her. 
He has his guitar in tow, stowed against the wall. He perches himself in the very last seat, enjoying some solitude while the bar slowly starts to fill in. 
He raises two fingers at the bartender and signals that he is ready for another beer. The bartender returns a moment later with a fresh Budweiser.
“There he is!”
Joel spins on his bar stool to the familiar voice. 
“Hey Frank. Bill.” He nods to them as Frank slaps his back enthusiastically and sits down next to him. 
“Been a while. Tess coming too?”
“S’posed to.” Joel takes a swig of his beer and doesn't give them much of an opportunity to ask more.
Bill sits silently on the other side of Frank, orders two beers and slides one to Frank. He never was one to talk much compared to his counterpart.
“Well, we have missed you. It has been at least a month since we have seen you.” Frank turns to Bill, urging him to converse a little. They were all old friends, but Tess was the one that tended to be the glue between them. 
Bill nods in agreement. “Ain’t like it used to be. Not missing much.” Joel keeps to himself, staying mostly quiet while the other two make small talk between themselves. They know Joel well enough to recognize when he is in a mood and to give him space. 
Tess walks up to the bar shortly after and throws her arms around Frank in surprise.
“Hey Stranger!” She turns to Bill and does the same thing but he is much more reserved. She intentionally makes him uncomfortable with an embrace, making Frank laugh at his discomfort. 
Joel turns his body so his legs are back under the counter and sips his beer. The three of them chatter for a few minutes while Joel broods.
“They are going to start soon. Lets grab a table before they are all taken.” Frank was already buzzed and it made him even more eccentric.  
“I’m fine right here.” Joel declines. 
“Alright, well join us if you want to later.” Frank taps his shoulder and shuffles off towards some tables closer to the stage. Bill follows behind after giving a silent nod to Joel and Tess and lifting his beer to gesture goodbye. Poor Bill was not one for going out and socializing, but he did it for Frank. 
Tess takes Frank’s seat and hails the bartender right away. She notices it's not their regular guy and isn’t too impressed with him making her wait. A silence looms for a few moments. The air is awkward and tense. 
“Two shots of whiskey.” She requests and glances over at Joel as the bartender pulls out two shot glasses. Joel nods in agreement. 
“Wasn’t sure if I’d see you tonight.” Joel is the first to speak.
“Likewise.” Tess says sharply but follows up softer. “I’m glad to see you.”
The bartender finishes pouring the shots and pushes one to each of them. They knock them back.
“Look, I meant what I said.” Joel sounds like he is reassuring himself as much as her. 
“I know.” She retorts. His eyes find doubt in her words. “Jesus, Joel, I know. Can’t we just have some drinks? Don’t be such a sour puss.” 
Joel scoffs at her words. He pushes his empty shot glass away and taps near his glass when the bartender walks closer. He pours another round. Joel and Tess knock back a second shot. It isn’t nearly enough to help him deal with his issues but it does help him lighten up a little.
Tess leans against Joel's shoulder and presses her hand onto the top of his thigh. She always was a lightweight, and had no problems coming on to him. No doubt she had pre-gamed before coming out, same as Joel. 
“Why can’t it just be like this?” she traces a circle on his leg and moves her finger closer to his groin. He shifts his leg as she grazes his zipper. 
“Nothings’ ever easy with us, Tess.” Joel pauses and puts his hand over hers. Reluctantly he peels her hand away. “We don’t want the same things anymore.”
“You don’t want this anymore?” She slides her hand back over his zipper this time with more force and she feels him twitch under the denim. She strokes her fingers down his length pressing into his seam. He stifles a groan and stirs in his seat.
“Tess..” His words plead her to stop, but his body reacts to her touch as it always does. Betraying his good intentions. Their attraction for one another was never in question. It just made things a whole lot more complicated. It was hard for him to resist her advances, and he wasn’t even sure he wanted to. She wasn’t exactly cooperating with his poor attempts to resist either. 
“‘Course I do.” He looks at her, wantonly and holds her gaze. He pauses and chooses his words carefully. “But it’s not enough.”
She was observant of his reaction, calculating what sort of leverage she had left with Joel. She could see his genuine anguish and was reminded too well of the circumstances that brought them together in the first place. She never said it in all those years, not once, but she did love him. 
“We can make it work… we always do.” Tess tries to reason with him, but she has defeat in her voice. 
“It’s too late for us, Tess.” Joel reaches a hand out to the side of her face and gently holds her. She removes her hand from his lap and wraps around his forearm and covers his hand with her own, leaning into his touch. The moment is intimate and despite a room full of people it felt like they were the only two. The unspoken love between them was always there as a thread to keep them together. This was not ending because the love was gone, it was ending because it had no more room to grow.  
He could see that she was finally accepting what he was saying. At least she was trying to. He brushed his thumb over her cheek and reassured her with his touch that his feelings for her were not lost, but he was not going to give into them anymore. 
“I need a clear mind.” He locks eyes with her as he takes his hand back. “I’m playing tonight.”
“You are?” She pulls away, surprised and easily distracted with the subject change. She looks down and eyes Joel’s guitar case leaning against the bar. “Singing too?” Joel nods. This feels familiar and comforting. 
“Well I’ll be damned.” Tess’ smile fades and expression softens, filled with sadness. A realization that they had moved away so far from where they used to be. A silent moment lurks but it is not unwanted. It gives them both time to think. 
“I never asked you for anything.” Tess utters quietly. Joel nods in agreement, silently reliving all the things he loved about her. Still loves about her.
“Never had to.” Joel gives a gentle side smile. Their eyes meet. Eyes that are intimate and mourning all at once. Hopeful and nostalgic. 
He was always going to love Tess. 
She stands to interrupt the silence and reaches for his hand to follow. 
“Lets find Bill and Frank. I wanna sit with them while you play.”
“Alright.”
Joel leaves his guitar at the bar and follows close behind her. The room is getting more and more crowded by the minute. The first act is wrapping up and switching over to another singer. The bar is alive with excitement. 
Following Tess into the crowd his heart drops. There you are, just a few tables in front of him, sitting at a hightop with Marlene. Dressed incredibly sexy with your short dress and your cropped leather jacket. Knee high boots and your hair flowy and free. He wished he could take you right there and have his way with you.  
You looked so happy. So unaware of what was about to happen. Innocent and at peace.
Tess grabs his arm and pulls him towards your table, excited to see you and Marlene and she makes a beeline to say hello. 
You shouldn’t be here. His brain screams and his heart races. His chest gets heavy and tight as he inches closer to your table, unable to stop the encounter. It was too late. You had already noticed him approaching when Tess called your name and you saw him in tow.
He should have told you from the start, but he didn’t. Even if nothing had happened with Tess since he started falling for you he was well aware how this was going to look.
He was finally making some progress with Tess and couldn’t risk that getting ruined. At your expense, too. There was no other way. 
And he knew right at that moment he was the biggest asshole in the world.
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[Reader POV]
You turn your head as you hear your name being called out. You see Tess first and just towering behind her is Joel. It was impossible to miss him with his broad shoulders and brooding scowl. For a brief moment, you light up to see him when your eyes catch his.
He was a sight to behold. Wearing a button up navy blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up on his tight forearms. Jeans hugging his body and perfectly accenting his burly frame. His hair was also slicked back and styled like he gelled it fresh out of the shower. The moody lighting masking his silver streaks more than usual. He looked absolutely delicious and it made you ache for him all over again. You had just put him out of your mind too. It didn’t take much to stir up those feelings again when your desire for him was relentless and insatiable. Your heart races, fueled by your longing. 
Until you realize they are together. 
A wave of dread washes over you. Joel immediately looks away from you in a panic, confirming your fear that something is wrong. He won’t look at you but you can’t take your eyes off of him and ignore everything else around you.
“This is my new star employee. She’s wonderful.” Tess lights up talking about you and playfully bumps into your shoulder. She is babbling on but you have no idea what she is saying because you aren't listening to her anymore. Too preoccupied with figuring out what was happening. Questioning why Tess was introducing you to the man you had been fucking for the past few weeks. The man who had naked photos of you on his phone. The man you were hopelessly besotted with. 
Joel’s eyes glance up at you and for the first time ever he looks sheepish. He holds his hand out standard and practical. Emotionless like it's a formal business greeting. 
“Joel. Nice to meet you.” You stare, dumbfounded by his words, spoken so nonchalant. 
Nice to meet me? 
He holds his hand out firmly, waiting for you to take it. His eyes plead with you to go along with it. You lightly grasp his hand. His fingertips drag tenderly as he pulls it away, as if they were apologizing. You say nothing but force a pathetic half-smile. 
Tess clearly having one too many drinks hangs off of his shoulder and bumps into his hips. You try to hide the confusion and disgust on your face. Joel refuses to look at you again after your introduction.   
He doesn’t reciprocate her energy at all. He looks like a lost dog. Uncomfortable and out of place. She seems oblivious to it, but you are dead focused on reading him to get some answers while she carries on talking. He is a stone wall, giving you nothing.  
Marlene says something in response and the two of them laugh but you can’t hear anything but muddled voices over the loudness of your thoughts. 
Joel nods at whatever she says but is silent. He looks so distant like he wants to shrink away. Guilty and cowardly. 
Every piece of your being wants to scream. What is going on? You don’t want to assume anything. Maybe they are friends and you are overreacting.  But then why wouldn’t he have said something sooner? Why did he pretend not to know you? Why won’t he even look at you? The questions keep piling up and your stomach is in knots.
“Come on, Joel.”  She hooks her hand around his arm to pull him along. You’ve never seen him act so submissive. “See you girls later.” 
As he brushes past you he catches your arm when no one is looking and he gives you the softest brush with the back of his hand. He tries to be inconspicuous and whispers in your ear as he passes.
“I’m so sorry.” His words stab you. They sound sincere and painful but offer no comfort or answers. 
As Joel and Tess disappear into the crowded room of people, Marlene is quick to notice you are in your head but brushes it off as being a little drunk. 
“God they are annoying.” Marlene shakes her head and takes a sip of her drink. You hear her talking, but still not really listening. You are preoccupied watching Tess take a seat a few tables away and see Joel make some brief small talk and wander off in the direction of the bar. 
They didn’t look romantic, at least not from his angle. Are you just overreacting? The alcohol is probably just making you paranoid. You hate how insecure he makes you feel. The reality is that the more time you spend with him the harder it is to be apart. He was unlike any man you had ever been with on so many levels. He made you feel so needy for his attention, and jealous that he was with Tess in some capacity, instead of you. You feel foolish. 
A singer briefly performs a song and the room gets loud again as voices rise between sets. You are silent and disassociating with everything around you, unsure if it's the buzz from the alcohol or your serotonin working overtime to calm you down. 
“You ok?” Marlene asks.
“Yeah…”
Marlene prys. “You don’t look ok.”
It was obvious from that awkward moment earlier that she knew Joel. You wanted to spill and tell her everything and pick her brain, but your suspicions made you question where her loyalties may lie. You had never told her who your neighbor was and now you felt trapped and alone with this secret.
“I just need another drink.” You laugh and play it off coolly. “Gonna grab one at the bar, be right back.”
As you walk to the back of the room you take note of Tess still sitting at the table and talking to a few guys. It looks like they are familiar and catching up. Joel is standing at the crowded bar at the very end, mostly tucked away and probably how you missed seeing him sooner because you weren't looking for him. Against your better judgment you approach him.
You squeeze into the space next to him and try to keep a little distance from him, but your bare thigh rubs up against his leg as you step in and the person to your left pushes into you. He stays facing straight ahead and doesn’t acknowledge you, except to move his leg from its wide posture. His scowl works overtime to keep his composure. He takes a sip of his beer.
You hail the familiar bartender with your empty glass. He winks and goes to make you another. Drink three and he already has your order memorized and was probably hoping to get your number.  
Joel stares him down as he walks away and you could have easily mistaken it for jealousy. The irony of it, as your harmless flirting was nothing compared to his potential relationship with your boss. You needed answers, whether or not Joel wanted to disavow you.
“You wanna tell me what the hell that was about?” Your voice is a little shaky, wavering through your anger and confusion. 
“I owe you an explanation.” He nods, still staring off ahead. 
You pause, waiting for him to say more, but he doesn’t. Your eyes bore into him and his ignoring you is making you fume more and more. You try to read him, and see the subtle changes as he gets more and more frustrated that you are not getting the hint to leave him alone. 
“So… explain?” You push his chest, try to pry the information out of him. His jaw tenses. Glowering and annoyed. His calm facade being chiseled away by your incessant need for answers. 
Joel looks at you with cold eyes. Sad eyes. Eyes you do not recognize. He recoils at your touch. Makes you feel like a dirty secret. He tips back his beer and downs the rest of the bottle. 
“Can you please fucking say something?” You beg. You are annoyed at how he is acting. He was clearly frustrated by your being there and that anger was festering by the minute. 
“This isn’t the time.” He says unphased by your request.
The bartender interrupts you to hand you your drink and gives Joel the side eye, no doubt noticing how prickly he was and how much your demeanor had changed from earlier. 
“What are you staring at?” Joel snaps at the bartender. His intimidating tone was low but it was threatening. His misplaced anger was looking for any way to escape. 
“Relax, bud.” He puts his hands up in a submissive gesture and backs off.  He glances back over to you but you look away and don’t make eye contact with him again.
“She ain't’ interested.” He threatens and somehow makes himself look even bigger. The bartender nods with a knowing smile that might as well say ‘not worth the trouble’ as he grabs Joel’s empty beer bottle and moves on. He wasn’t interested enough to contest with Joel.  
You hate how much it turns you on to see him get protective over you. His mixed signals were giving you whiplash. You suspect and even hope that his lashing out and acting this way is just a tactic to get you to leave the matter alone for now. It wasn’t going to work with you though. You were not afraid of him or intimidated.    
His fingers curl over the counter and he flexes them, agitated. He taps his fingers in a rolling motion and pushes himself away from the bar with the heel of his hand. 
“You should go home.” His words hurt and are spoken with finality through dark eyes that penetrate you. “We’ll talk about this later.” 
“No.” Your brows furrow at the audacity. “I want to talk now.” You demand. 
Joel ignores you and pushes past you to get to the back hallway. He makes you feel insignificant and like you are just an obstacle in his path to walk around. It makes you even more angry.
You tip back the bulk of your drink dangerously fast and follow him. There were so many people, no one was really paying attention to you and Joel, so why was he acting like this?  
You stumble down the corridor to the bathrooms, instantly regretting your choices to drink so recklessly. It makes you feel gross and desperate that you have to chase him someplace so dark and secluded.
With his back to you he balls his hand into a fist and knocks on one of the bathroom doors with enough force to startle anyone in earshot. Someone inside yells that they need a minute. 
He puts a hand on his hip and the other drags down his face as he paces and turns towards you. He knew you would follow. He fans his hand out in your direction, pleading with you to let this go. 
“I said later.” His words sound tired from your persistence. He looks you up and down and you see something else in his eyes. Behind the anger, the hunger for you is still there.
“Joel.” Your anger starts to cool when you see how agitated he is. Afraid that you are just making everything worse. Maybe you should just leave this alone until later. You could be making a scene over nothing. 
“You shouldn’t be here,” he speaks slowly and deliberately, trying to keep himself calm. You try to hold it back but you can’t stop the tears from welling up in your eyes. Impatiently he bangs on the door again and an angry yell returns, calling him an impatient prick. 
“I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight.” You are not sure why you are the one defending yourself here. You feel the room spinning and reach to brace yourself on the wall before you stumble. The alcohol and the adrenaline of being afraid to lose Joel was just becoming too much.  
Joel reaches out to you and grabs your wrist to steady you. He leads you a bit further down the hall, and just at the end is a small and dark alcove with storage boxes. You can still hear the loudness of Copper’s echoing through the hallway but at least it feels more private. Trashy, but discrete. 
You back yourself against the wall, feeling overwhelmed by everything and your anger vanishing into nothing but hurt. Joel stands across from you with his arms crossed. He takes a deep breath.
“Listen. This ain’t got anything to do with you. Ok?” Now is your turn to respond with silence. You have a thousand questions but no words manage to come out, instead a tear drops down your face. You wipe it away quickly but he already noticed it.
“Sweetheart.” He closes the gap between you and holds your face in his hand, wiping his thumb over the wet trail on your cheek. You look up at him with glossy eyes and he looks pained to see you so upset. “Please don’t.”
You feel foolish crying given the real probability of infidelity. Still, you lean into his touch, craving the contact with him that he had been denying you. Soaking in his warmth and pushing the negative thoughts as far away as possible.   
He presses up against you, pinning you against a stack of boxes. It is reserved but still so sensual. He pushes your hair behind your ear and combs his fingers through it, smelling your sweet scent mixing with his woodsy, pine cologne. 
The heat from his cock feels so good against you, and you can feel him harden slightly when you push your hips into him. Even through tears your body can’t say no to Joel. His body towers over you and makes you feel calmer being in his clutches.    
He sneaks a hand up the side of your leg and slips it under your dress. You feel his breath hot on your neck as he kisses you there. His scruff scrapes against the soft meat of your neck and makes you come undone. He presses his mouth into you, hedonic and greedy. 
His thumb slides under the thin straps of your panties and he draws circles on your hip bone, dancing dangerously closer to your center. He doesn’t cross the threshold, and with restraint he slides his hand around to your hip over the top of your dress. He presses his forehead into yours and holds you there for a brief moment, relishing having you in his grasp.
As soon as the heated moment starts it fades and Joel takes a step back, holding you at arms length. With a desperation in his eyes, he speaks.    
“Go home.” His words hurt. “Please. Go home.”
He turns and leaves you alone in the hallway, disappearing into the crowd. Discarding you like an unwanted problem. A mistake. Something to acknowledge only in the dark. 
You feel absolutely blindsided and used and you don’t even know what is going on. You slide your back down the wall and curl your arms around your knees, hugging yourself. You have never felt more alone and abandoned. You hold yourself harder to keep back the tears.
Moments later you hear footsteps and a familiar voice rattles you back to earth. It’s Marlene, knocking on one of the bathroom doors asking if you are inside. You regain your composure and bring yourself to your feet and walk sheepishly towards her from the alcove. You adjust your dress and hair, both a little disrupted by Joel. 
“There you are! Is everything ok? I’ve been looking for you.” You turn to face her and do your best to look composed and calm. 
“Yeah I was just feeling my drink and had to get away for a minute.” You are a terrible liar.
“Uh huh...” She reaches her hand out and wipes some black makeup that still lingered on your cheek. “Don’t tell me you’re crying about that guy you’ve been seeing?” She tries to guess what could have you so upset. You fake a laugh and try to throw her off. She notices your messy hair. “Or did you makeout with that bartender that was hitting on you?” she asks excitedly.
“Nothing like that. I’m fine. Really.” You say with confidence but she is still skeptical. You take a few steps down the hallway. The words Joel begged of you before leaving you replay over and over.    
“Hey, do you… know that guy?” You struggle to get his name out. “Joel?” She looks at you puzzled. Inquisitive. Amused at your question. 
“Everyone knows Joel Miller.” She stares at you, her expression trying to hide some judgment but can’t resist. “Why?”
You don’t answer and just stare off blankly. You feel like a total idiot. A used trollop. She tries to read between the lines, assuming your drunk ass is crushing on him.
“Don’t get involved with Joel.” She warns and hooks her arm in yours and leads you back to the main room. 
Your table had been scarfed up which was no surprise. There were so many people.
You are floating between being too drunk and carefree and on the verge of a mental breakdown. For now, the alcohol was keeping you afloat. This wasn’t the time or place to deal with whatever was going on with Joel and you were not in the right frame of mind to handle it. 
You made up your mind. You were going to stay and try to salvage what was left of your night. You would stay clear of Joel. Why should he get to tell you what to do? You lose your footing and stumble but Marlene balances you.
“Ok… you need to drink water.” She mothers you and takes you by the shoulders to lead you back to the bar.
“Yes, mom.” You muster up a joke and take a deep breath.
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Another half hour passes. You don’t see Joel but you don’t look for him either. You don’t want to see him or want him to see you. The water helps sober you up just slightly. The music is loud but soothing as it occupies your headspace. The current act was a man and woman duo singing something moody and playing guitar. They played a few songs and then the MC shared that they had just one more performer for tonight. 
You lazily look at your phone and it’s so much later than you realized. You turn to ask Marlene if she is ready to go when you see him, walking towards the stage with a guitar slung on his back. Joel was the final performer? You watched him walk up to the stage with disbelief. He wanted you to go home so you wouldn’t see this? It felt forbidden to look and of course you needed to.  
You had no idea he was the musical type. Realizing now you didn’t know much about him at all, apparently. The thought of that makes you feel sick. 
You feel numb to everything around you. Maybe it was all just a bad dream. It had to be.
He takes his seat on a stool in front of the mic, propping up his guitar on his lap and strums a few chords. The audience is awakened. You hear people mumbling to their friends that they can’t believe Joel is playing again. 
Apparently everyone but you. 
You want to be angry. Upset that he was so deceptive to you and kept his life so secret. Dismissive about your desire to understand.   
Your body betrays you, fluttering at the sight of him. The room is darkened and the light shining on him makes him look even more gorgeous, casting harsh shadows that accent his tight body. His silver streaks in his slicked hair catching the light and his broad frame defined perfectly in his well fitting shirt. His watch reflects the light as he positions his hand to cradle the neck of his guitar. His forearm flexes as he guides his hand over the strings. It makes you wet.   
“This one’s…. for Tess.” 
Your heart stops. 
His voice wavers as he looks down to his guitar, avoiding eye contact with anyone. The room is deadly silent. He has everyone’s attention. You are certain your heartbeat is the loudest thing as you are filled with panic. 
Did you hear that right? 
He strums his guitar and a low and gravelly voice follows. 
Love will abide
Take things in stride
He said… Tess?  
Sounds like good advice
But there's no one at my side
You feel a pit in your stomach.
And time washes clean
Love's wounds unseen
He said Tess.  
That's what someone told me
But I don't know what it means
'Cause I've done everything I know
To try and make you mine
The profound sadness in his voice hurts. It cuts you like a knife. His guttural but steady low singing moves you. You would never, but it makes you want to run up to him and hold him.  
And I think I'm gonna love you
For a long, long time
You hate this. Being in this moment, trapped. It felt like listening to a private conversation. Still, you can’t look away.  
Caught in my fears
Blinking back the tears
I can't say you hurt me
When you never let me near
The sharpness in his tone is notable and you see him clench his teeth at those words.  
'Cause I've done everything I know
To try and make you mine
The pit in your stomach grows as your fears are being realized before your eyes. 
And I think it's going to hurt me
For a long, long time
Joel was in love with her. 
Wait for the day
You'll go away
Knowing that you warned me
Of the price I'd have to pay
You look over to where Tess was sitting earlier. She looks hurt and fragile, masked by anger. Not like anything you had seen before. You pity her. You pity yourself. 
And life's full of flaws
Who knows the cause?
Living in the memory
Of a love that never was
Joel is hurting. Whatever their relationship was, he certainly wanted it to be different. 
'Cause I've done everything I know
To try and change your mind
And you are just a toy for him to play with. You need to leave. You need to be anywhere but right here. 
And I think I'm going to miss you
For a long, long time
Suddenly the room is spinning. You are going to be sick. The alcohol and anxiety inside you mix together and you feel like you can’t breathe. 
'Cause I've done everything I know
To try and make you mine
And I think I'm gonna love you
Joel looks up and his eyes accidentally find yours for the briefest moment. An unintentional stare. He looks away and down at his guitar, no doubt outraged that you didn’t go home. That you saw him spill his heart and soul out to another woman. 
For a long, long time.
Angry that you caught him cheating. The only truth you know. 
The loudest silence follows as he strums the last chord. Then, the room erupts in applause and many people stand up to clap and cheer. Even the drunkest person could have watched that performance and felt his pain. You suspected few people realized it was so good because it was so honest.  
Marlene looks over at you and can clearly see how ghostly and unwell you look. You shake your head and try to hold back the flood of tears welling up in your eyes.
“Can we… can we go? Please?”
“Yeah, of course.” Marlene puts an arm around you and helps you up. The tears start falling and you can’t stop it. You can’t hold back the flood of sobs and emotion leaving your body.  
“Whoa… Whats wrong?” She puts her hand on your cheek and tries in vain to wipe the tears away. Looking extremely concerned and no doubt piecing things together.
You can’t even think properly. You gasp at the air to save you.   
“I just need to get out of here.”
You glance up to the stage and Joel has already left it. Probably going to his lover or whatever the fuck that was all about. That sickness feeling surges back. You want to throw up. You want to disappear and erase every moment you had with Joel.
“Come on, I’ll take you home.”
To be continued...
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A O 3 | M A S T E R L I S T | N O T I F I C A T I O N S
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fushiguruuzzzz · 2 days ago
Text
ᥫ᭡ A Strangers Heart
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𝄞 “I think it’s strange you never knew || A stranger light comes on slowly || A strangers heart without a home” — Mazzy Star
Playlist — that minx ! 🍓 | Moodboard
Itadori Yuji x Fem!Reader
Words — 9.6k
Cw — mentions of violence, mentions of alcohol, mentions of catcalling, strangers to reluctant friends to lovers, no animal death I changed my mind but forgot to remove the tag oops, foul language, leads are both 16, a 20yo hits on reader he’s creepy asl, reader sort of inspired by Kat Stratford, aesthetic is Maxine minx inspired, not proofread, lmk if I missed any !!
Another summer, another hick on your farm desperate for an extra buck. Except, this time, something’s different. It isn’t just some douchey, approval seeking suck up chasing your father around and spending his extra time hoping you’ll hop on something other than your horse. This one’s different. And when late night bonfires and early morning horse rides turn into something more, what’s a girl to do with only a few weeks left?
a/n — ik most people lwk don’t fw Yuji like that but PLSSS give me a chance…. I’m not even that attracted to Yuji I just love him sm he’s so silly. I had to write a cute lil (not so lil… oops) farm Yuji fic :(( honestly my first ever fic that’s more than 2k words but I yapped hard here. Don’t judge chat don’t judge!!!! If u read this I’ll kiss u on the mouth I promise
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By definition, summer was that warm chunk of the year spent basking in sunlight, free of the stress that came with education and growth. It was cold beer and campfires and sleeping from dawn to dusk, being awake at the call of the night. Everyone always talked of their vacations, their countless hours spent at the side of their friends (if you could even call them that, it was more so anyone that they could gather up) with no regard for responsibility at all.
In a way, your personal summer was as said. But simultaneously, it was far, far different. To you, summer was stargazing and picking strawberries and riding bareback through the forest. Summer was the thrill of driving down the gravel road, screaming as loud as you wanted to. It wasn’t like you were disturbing anyone, anyway. Nobody was around for miles, aside from the crazy old couple living by the church and the Kugisaki family, whose youngest was usually in your passenger seat. It was the crimson tint left on your lips after a long day of lounging and snacking on the cherries you’d picked up from the market just the day before. Summer was blissful, free.
Summer was also fucking annoying.
With every summer came more activity on the ranch. Your father was a simple man, he could handle his own farm, but sometimes things got too much. The summer brought on more horseshows, more wild animals itching to sink their teeth into the livestock, and the sticky uncomfortableness that came with every move. So, the staff consisted of just a few more people. The year rounds were you and your father of course, as well as two of his close friends. More your uncles than anything, if you’re honest. Occasionally they brought their wives or their kids, and if they were chill enough, that wasn’t a bother. Others came and went, barely spared a second glance by you. The one problem came with summer, the need for an extra set of hands bringing excuses for more pests to wriggle their way into your peaceful farm. The summer workers.
It was only one or two boys, only two months of the year, but they had much more of an effect than one would assume. Your father was a wealthy man, he was generous with his pay. When word spread of this –as much as it could in this scattered excuse of a town, at least– the power hungry assholes scrambled for their place. Usually it was aspiring cowboys decked out in shiny buckles and enough leather to make you a new back seat, hoping that doing well enough would get them on your family’s good side, get them “in”, as they said. It never worked. Your father may seem arrogant, but he isn’t stupid. It’s easy to see a peacocks intentions when it bares its feathers at you.
Often times, when they realized that their consistent efforts weren’t doing much good, they chose another form of preoccupation. You. You and your babydoll tops and sunkissed skin and bows in your hair that seemed to work in your deceit were often a target of various wolf whistles and not-so-creative rewording of asking what colour underwear you were hiding beneath your jeans. Even when they were warned, told stories of what happened to the rest of them, they persisted.
“Don’t be fooled,” they’d been told. “She’s tough as nails. She’ll stab you with ‘em, too. Ever wonder why she hangs around that Kugisaki girl?”
Fools.
It wasn’t your fault, really! You can only take so many catcalls, so many sly comments laced with thick southern accents until you find them looking conveniently punchable, and then you’re washing your knuckles of a red substance, either strawberry juices or blood depending on the day. It wasn’t like you didn’t make a point to avoid them, in fact, you might even be considered harsh for it. Better to be safe than sorry. You always ended up sorry though, somehow. As they lay on the ground below you (hopefully not in the manure pile) clutching their ever so precious faces, you almost feel a pang of sympathy. But then a profanity falls from their lips like it’s the most natural thing in the world and you remember who you’re looking at.
“New intern starts today,” your dad says, glancing up at you from the plate of sausages and pancakes you’d thrown together for him. You felt a need to groan, and for a moment you were convinced you’d let it slip, your father raising a brow and giving you a pointed look. “Don’t hit this one with your car.”
“I told you that was an accident, daddy!” you rolled your eyes, letting your fork fall onto your plate with a soft clang. Your shoulders slumped, letting out a huff of disdain. He simply shook his head, though the just barely hidden curl of his lips didn’t go unnoticed by you.
“Sure,” he said. “Accident or not, any more blood hits this property, you’re in shit. We can’t keep trusting they won’t call the cops.”
Yeah, sure. You doubt the police would do much anyway, they barely existed out here, let alone acted. Though you knew arguing was pointless, so you pushed your pride to the bottom of your priority list and nodded.
“Yeah, ‘kay. Stop hiring assholes and we’d have much less problems, though.”
“Hmph.”
𓍼
“Another one?”
“I know. I’m surprised they keep comin’ with how they all end up leaving,” you said, a grin tugging at your lips. You tossed your head back, shutting your eyes and letting your face bathe in the sunlight. You were sprawled out over a heap of hay, the compressed cubes scratchy against the exposed skin of your limbs. It dragged over the bottom of your thighs with every movement, kneading into your hair if you weren’t careful enough.
Nobara eyed you, her expression mirroring yours. Considering the two of you were pretty much attached at the hip, she’d gotten to see all of the reality TV worthy strategies you’d come up with to rid your farm of the parasites known as farmhands. There weren’t many people around these parts of the country, you could count two neighbours, only one whose house you could spot from yours. So that one neighbour having a girl your age was a luckily miracle, your friendship was fate. Not to mention you actually enjoyed her company, too.
“Hey, maybe you’ll get lucky this year. Maybe it’s a gentleman come to sweep you off your feet and whisk you away to the city, make you a housewife,” she grinned, orange hair shining in the sunlight as you met her eye.
“You and the city,” you rolled your eyes, picking a stray piece of hay and lazily tossing it at her. “As if.”
If there were any differences between you and Nobara, that was the largest one. She longed for the city, was desperate for it. You were sure the moment she got the chance, she’d pack up and leave. She was a city girl at heart and everyone knew it. You, on the other hand, were perfectly content with your little farm life and intended on keeping it that way. It had always been that way.
“Forgive me for not wanting my cause of death to be a horses foot,” she grumbled, though no real malice lingered in her tone. You shook your head, shook off her words.
A comfortable silence settled over you, the distant whirring of tractors and the pounding of hooves against dirt fading to background noise. You gazed out over the field, the stables parallel to the barn the two of you were leaned up on. Then, you noticed something. An unfamiliar head of hair, attached to a boy who was holding the reins of a horse, leading it towards the building you’d been looking at. Had it been brown or black you would’ve paid no mind, but it was pink. Was that natural?
“Well, there he is.”
“Our mortal enemy for the next two months.”
He paused, seeming to feel your eyes on him. He turned, spotted you, eyes narrowing as the bright sun shined into them. And then, he smiled. It was big and bright and warm, a stark contrast to the wolfish, greedy smirks you were used to receiving. His eyes crinkled at the sides, his irises almost as welcoming as his grin. You felt something odd in your chest.
He was still your enemy. You were sure. Just… maybe he was worth giving a chance.
𓍼
The sifting of dirt beneath your feet made a soft sound as you walked, doing little to warn the salmon haired boy of your presence. You came to a halt behind him, and you were beginning to think he was a little too spatially unaware to work on a farm, because he still didn’t turn around. He was busy tending to the horse, gently brushing through the chestnut fur. You had an urge to clear your throat, but the guy was unaware either way, so you chose the more efficient route.
“What’s your name?” you asked, your voice cutting through the otherwise quiet atmosphere. He flinched, head turning in your direction all too quickly. Upon seeing your face, his guard seemed to be let down, a more relaxed expression taking the place of the startled one from moments earlier. He was silent for a moment, seemed to be caught in some sort of trance. Only when you cocked a brow in question did he realize, a somewhat bashful grin on his lips.
“Oh- I’m Yuji. Itadori. You’re… Mr. [l/n]’s daughter, right?”
You gave a nod, somewhat curt. You didn’t want to waste your breath being too nice, not if he was going to be like the rest of the piggish teenage boys hanging around every summer. Truth be told, you weren’t mean, just guarded. Especially with men, you’d grown a sort of buried resentment towards them, as much as you hated to admit it. That was a story to later be told, though.
“That’s right. You’re here for the summer, yeah?” you asked. It was better to be sure you were correct about his role here, to prevent looking stupid in the case that you were somehow wrong.
He nodded. “Hey, you’re my age, aren’t you?”
“Sixteen?”
He nodded, his cautious smile turning to a full grin. You could basically hear his thoughts jumping out of his mind, screaming at you.
“That doesn’t make us friends,” you said, hip popping out to the side as your arms crossed over your chest. “Just so you know.” Why did you feel such a need to push him away? Were you always this defensive?
“Eh?” He gazed at you for a moment, eyes narrowing a fracture as if he were figuring you out. His hand had stilled, the brush now resting pointlessly against the fur of the horse. “…okay,” he shrugged. Though for a moment, it was like he knew something you didn’t. That sparkle of determination in his eyes was all you needed to see to know exactly what his motive was.
𓍼
The moment Yuji Itadori set his eyes on you, his purpose for the next two months was set in stone. This goal wasn’t to harass you, to make your life a living hell. It wasn’t even to annoy you, or to make you fall in love with him. It was to make you his friend, make you like him. He wanted to prove to you that he wasn’t the loser you seemed to take him for (even if he was). Yuji wasn’t one to suffer and dwell on those who didn’t like him, he could deal with that, even if it bothered him some. Being the outgoing and kind guy he was, it wasn’t something he dealt with often, anyway. It was the fact that he could tell you didn’t hate him that drew him to you, he wanted to know why you put on that act.
The interactions started small, like a thrown comment about the shirt you were wearing or the offer to help you out with whatever chore you’d been tasked with. That was his job after all, so you couldn’t tell him off for that. He’d hang around you and Nobara, and as much as it pained you to say, she was warming up to him. Maybe you were, too. It had only been two weeks, for fucks sake! He’d already weaseled his way into your life, you couldn’t escape him. Your dad loved him, his boyish nature being something your father always sought out in his workers. Probably the longing for a son, honestly. You knew it wasn’t a jab at you, he loved you with his whole heart, but every man wanted a son in the same way every woman wanted a daughter. It was that familiarity of who he once was.
Because of this, the little fucker had even begun eating with you.
“Hey, Mr [l/n]!” came a voice, a head popping in through the side door. Your dad suppressed a grin at the sight of him, looking over his shoulder from where he stood beside you, seasoning the meat as you chopped vegetables. You didn’t bother looking back, it was always the same person anyway.
“Yuji,” your father greeted, nodding at him in acknowledgment. Yuji stepped inside, smiling mindlessly as he glanced around the kitchen. Every time he was in here, it was as if it were his first time seeing the place. You didn’t understand what was so fascinating about your old western kitchen, anyway.
The phone on the wall rang, and you momentarily dropped the green onion you were slicing to answer it. You assumed that was your job, considering your father’s hands were covered in various spices and seasonings.
You grabbed the dull beige telephone, the coiling chord extending out as you raised it to your ear.
“Daddy,” you said, placing your hand over the microphone of the device. “They need you down at the Kugisaki’s. Their fence broke.”
He nodded, placing your uncooked dinner back down on a plate and moving to rinse his hands, the leaky tap in front of the window sputtering out some water. That was country life for you.
You picked the phone back up, alerting Nobara’s grandmother of your dad’s pending arrival and saying a quick goodbye. Yuji still stood by the door, watching the whole interaction. You were much calmer in the comfort of your own home, when darkness creeped over the sky and the stimulation of the bustling ranch wasn’t ringing in your ears.
A mischievous grin crossed your face, making your father groan. He knew exactly what you were going to ask, and he knew he wasn’t going to be able to say no. “I’ll pick up Nobara while I’m there,” he grumbled, though as he stepped out the door, turned back with a pointing finger in the air. “Wake me up after dark again and I’m throwin’ both of yous in the corn field.”
You watched with a snarky grin as he walked away, hopping into the worn down truck sitting in the driveway.
Then, you looked just a few inches to the side. Oh. Yuji was still here.
You opted to not pay him much mind, taking the few short strides from where the phone sat on the wall. You took up your task of preparing dinner once again, knife in your hand as and chopped up various veggies and sides.
“You need help with that?” he called, not bothering to wait for an answer as he took an onion from where it was sat on the counter. He grabbed a knife as well, beginning to chop it.
“I never said yes,” you said, observing him from the corner of your eye. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbow, dirt staining various parts of his clothes, which you assumed was the doing of your horse. She wasn’t fond of men.
He pouted in mock offence, placing a hand over his heart as if he was physically pained. “Wow, just kill me I guess. I figured some help wouldn’t hurt.”
He wasn’t exactly wrong, though you would’ve protested a little more before admitting that. A defence was on the tip of your tongue, but you bit it before the words could leave your lips. Over the time you’d known him (or rather, he’d been inserting himself into your days and forcing you to hang around him) the disdain in your tone had faded, becoming more sassy than resentful. That was progress in his mind.
“…thank you.”
His lips curled into a smile, momentarily taking a gander at you before looking back to the knife in his hand. “‘Welcome.”
Aside from the rhythmic chopping of blades against the wood of the cutting boards, the room was silent. There was a dull hum coming from the refrigerator, though you’d grown used to it. It was a constant noise in the background, it had been since you were born, even before that.
“Would you mind putting this in the microwave for a moment?” you asked, noticing his free hands. You gently nudged a dish towards him, the fork you’d been using to chip away at the dish sticking out of the top. It was in desperate need of defrosting, a little nudge in the right direction wouldn’t hurt, right?
He nodded. “Alright,” he said, picking up the platter. His next moves were unknown to you, your back turned to him as he –supposedly– popped it into the microwave. The sound of the buttons being pushed accompanied by the robotic whir of the machine started alerted you of such.
“You cook often?” Yuji said, leaning back on the counter. “You’re good at it.” You picked up the diced bits of vegetable and put them into a separate bowl, dusting your hands of the remnants of them. You allowed yourself to face him, to actually give him your attention for a moment. He’d proven that he was worthy of that much, at least.
“Usually,” you said, mirroring his stance. Your palms pressed into the edge of the counter, the marble cold against your skin. “Daddy’s always busy, but he helps sometimes.”
He nodded. He may have been lacking a couple brain cells, but he knew well enough not to ask why it was only you and your dad. He wasn’t that stupid. He couldn’t help but wonder, though.
Sensing his curiosity, you let out a soft sigh. “I never knew momma. Just me ‘round here.”
He looked surprised to hear you say it, as if the question wasn’t written all over his face. He was more surprised how willing you were to share it, though. He thought you’d hit him with your car or something if he dared to ask, thought you viewed him like the rest. He barely lived a similar life to yours and he’d still heard the stories, but it was rather obvious that something was being left out. Maybe you weren’t such a maneater after all, maybe there was a good reason. There was.
“Oh,” he said. He opened his mouth to speak, but your attention was quickly moved elsewhere when you saw a faint flickering of electricity in the window of the microwave.
“Yuji!” you lurched forward, opening it in a haste. Inside it was revealed to be the dish you’d given him, just as it had been. Just as it had been, as in the fork was still inside. You mentally facepalmed, closing your eyes and bringing your fingers up to pinch the bridge of your nose.
“You’re kidding me.”
“What?” he asked. Your head shot up. Was he serious? He seemed to know his way around the kitchen just fine, you were even a little impressed. How could he be so familiar yet so… unaware?
“You put a fork in the microwave. You can’t do that,” you sighed, the second sentence coming out more condescending than you intended.
“…Oh.”
A beat of silence passed, a dumbfounded, somewhat embarrassed expression on his face. It was comical. Suddenly you felt the irresistible urge to laugh, the chortle leaving your lips before you could bring yourself to stop it. He just looked hilarious like that, and you were growing sick of withholding your amusement.
He somehow looked even more confused, though when he realized this was the first time he’d seen you laugh (save for the chuckles and giggles you shared with Nobara when you thought he wasn’t looking), the corners of his lips couldn’t help but quirk up. “What? Why are we laughing? What’s funny?”
Through hearty giggles, you managed to stutter out the first thing that came to mind. “You’re- you’re dumb. You know that?”
His mind buffered for a moment, staring at you blankly. You almost thought he was offended, but then, that thought was quickly washed away. A breath left him, soon turning into full belly laughs that matched yours. Soon enough the two of you were doubling over in laughter, falling all over the tile kitchen floor. You barely even knew what you were laughing at anymore, all you knew was Yuji’s stupid face and the unwelcome feeling of warmth you’d began feeling every time he was near.
You were so distracted that you failed to notice the two figures standing in the door, the two closest people to you. Your best friend and your father watched the two of you as you nearly clutched eachother in laughter. They didn’t know what was so hilarious, but they knew one thing. That one thing was shared in a short glance, teenage girl and burly man connected by one thing: you.
Later that night, Nobara ever so boldly brought him up. The two of you were sat in your bedroom, some calm music playing from the radio on your dresser as you mindlessly chatted away.
“So… you seem to like Yuji better than the rest.”
You glanced at her from where you sat at the head of your bed, her sprawled frame over the covers making a pang of amusement shoot through your chest. You shrugged. “Well, he hasn’t tried to get in my pants, so I think that automatically means somethin’, doesn’t it?” you asked, something beneath your words saying ‘duh’.
She let out a huff of laughter, a knowing smirk tugging at her lips. “It means no new dents in your bumper?”
“Exactly.”
The two of you shared a laugh, the muted red checkers of your bedding being crinkled with the movement. She grinned, “Remind me to make you drink more often.”
Your eye twitched, slapping a hand over her mouth and letting out a hurried “Shhhhh!”
She let out muffled protests against the skin of your palm, eyes narrowing. The feeling of her teeth readying to sink into it was enough to make you remove it, though, knowing that she wasn’t playing around. She did it once, she’d do it again. She was still the same kid she was ten years ago at heart.
“My dad is in the next room, stupid. Believe it or not, I’m not supposed to get in my truck after two beers and some Bailey’s.”
“Oops,” she said, smiling in feigned innocence. You could punch her. You let out a sigh, flopping back against your headboard.
“Back to my point,” she began. “You seem to… not hate him. And I think he likes you.” She propped herself up on her elbow, orange hair falling to the side. It brushed over her shoulder, the delicate fabric of her (your) pyjama shirt moving at the contact.
You nearly choked on your spit. That had been the last thing you’d expected her to say, and you were expecting many things. Was she actually stupid or something? I mean, you called her that a lot, but you never genuinely meant it. You were starting to believe your own words.
“Hush. Don’t say dumb shit like that.”
“It’s true! He’s got to have a thing for you, at least. Come on,” she groaned. She was real sick of your denial whenever it came to being liked. You always shut it down, always dismissed her with an eyeroll and shake of the head. She always assumed it was because you didn’t like the guys, deemed it an insult to be of their interest, but this was different. This guy was good.
You shook your head, just like you always did. “He’s just friendly like that, Nobara. Don’t be silly.”
She quirked a brow, a devious smile hinting at her lips. “Oh, so you notice him enough to know that, huh?”
You tossed your head back, your skull hitting the worn wood of the headboard. “Oh my gosh, shut up! I can never win with you!”
“Damn right.”
𓍼
The sun was yet to be high in the sky, casting a soft golden glow over the expanse of the farmland. The sky was painted orange and pink, clouds strewn about the soft canvas of the sunrise. Your boots thumped against the ground as you walked, passing over gravel, grass, and dirt alike. You approached the stable that was home to your horse, the smaller structure coming into view. Beside it was the barn; the place that held the other animals aside from the horses. On the other side of it was a fence, closing in an area for them to roam freely.
You swung open the door to the building, taking note of a birds nest in the nook of the roof that you hadn’t seen before. The ground was littered with hay and bugs, the occasional spider skittering across a floorboard.
You made your way to your horses stall, the word ‘Matrix’ carved into a silver nametag on the door. You slid into the small, enclosed space, shutting the clunky sliding door behind you. You lovingly patted your dear horse, a warm smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
Once she was decked out in her reins and saddle, you lead her out of the stable. You’d grown all too used to this routine, setting off into the sunrise every morning you got the chance. It was your peace, the moment of the day that felt like you were on top of the world. Like everything was yours to have, to keep, yours to live and experience and laugh and love in.
You had just made it to the gate at the back, the one leading to the trails within the clusters of trees that separated yours and Nobara’s house, when you halted. Something caught your eye, the silhouette of someone sitting atop the fence just a few paces behind you. Yuji. Of course he was here, he was always here. The thing that bothered you most was that you were beginning to question if that was a negative thing or not.
He called out your name, waving tall and proud as if he was miles away instead of a few short metres. He hopped down from the fence, and you were honestly surprised the wood was holding up so well. You were wealthy, yes, but there were many things around this place that needed either a good fixing or to be completely replaced one of those things was that fence, most likely because it wasn’t paid much attention at all.
“Where’re you going?” he asked once he’d caught up to you, hands resting in his pockets. There was an early morning chill blanketing the air, seeping into your bones further with every gust of wind.
“A ride,” you said, beginning to walk again now that he was at your side.
“Well, I see that. Where?” he pushed. He was a little more sassy than you’d expected, honestly. The ball of sunshine could bite back when he wanted to. You suppressed a grin, glancing at him over your shoulder.
“Through the forest. S’real nice at this hour.”
He let out a hum, nodding. He looked over the stretch of the treeline, where the earth met the sky and formed a pattern of the zigzags and spikes that were the tips of great pine plants.
“What’re you doing up, Yuji?” you asked, attempting to sound less interested than you actually were. You’d given up the act of disliking him, but you still kept your distance. What was the point of getting close, anyway? You only had 5 weeks left of him, so to keep him at arms length was the most logical thing to do.
He smiled. “I always see you out here. I wanted to see what that was all about.”
He’d… been paying attention? Come out here for you? You hated the way that made your heart thump against your chest, that attentiveness and interest in you something you weren’t even sure teenage boys were capable of.
“Stalker,” you said, smirking. The both of you knew you didn’t mean it, you couldn’t hide it if you tried. You passed through the gate, the bright red metal clanging against the lock as it shut behind you. He followed you, silent for the first time in… forever?
You situated a foot in one of the stirrups, swiftly throwing yourself upward and swinging your leg over to the other side of your horse. It was a split second before you were sitting comfortably in the saddle, no struggle at all. Yuji always found it mesmerizing, how well you knew your way around these things. He could ride a horse just fine, but not like you. It was as if Matrix was an extension of you, so familiar that it barely took you any effort to have every bit of her all figured out.
You wriggled your hips against the leather beneath you, holding the reins loosely in your grasp.
“You comin’ or not?” you asked, looking back at a distracted Yuji who perked up immediately at your offer.
“Yep! Uh- Wait- hold on!” he shouted in a panic, not wasting a second before darting back to the stables. He was oddly fast, you’d noticed. He seemed to be blessed in the physical department, not that you’d been paying attention or anything… he just drew attention to it, okay? Yeah. That was it. Blame the T-Shirts and the rolled up sleeves and the summer heat for causing it, not your wandering eyes.
It was only a couple minutes before he was approaching you once again, saddled horse in tow. He sported a proud grin, one that had grown all too familiar. It was the same as when he’d get you to smile, when you would eat the dinner you cooked together and agree with your father when he complimented it. He wore it when he successfully managed to infiltrate yours and Nobara’s girl time, and you were sure that when he inevitably convinced you to let him in on everything else, he would wear it then too. That wasn’t to say you exactly minded, perchance you’d even grown somewhat fond of it.
The trees provided shade as the two of you walked along the trails, the chirping of awakening birds ringing through your ears.
“You’re right, it’s nice out here when it’s early,” he said, looking around at the lush trees, eyes sparkling in awe.
“Isn’t it?”
You kept walking, though it didn’t make much of a difference, the greenery looked the same all around. The red of your wool sweater stuck out against the emerald background, making you look like the centrepiece of an oil painting. At least, that’s what Yuji thought.
“Yuji,” you began, making his head snap to you. He’d gotten a little distracted by a bird fluttering above you, the flapping of its wings making a crisp noise. “How come I’ve never seen you around school?” you asked.
“Oh, I had to drop out to take care of my grandpa,” he said, looking ahead. He stole a glimpse of you every few seconds, but for once, he avoided your gaze. “He was sick and… he’s all I got left, so…”
Oh. You were silent, blinking away the shock of his reasoning. You’d expected him to say he went to school in the city, or that he was staying in town for the summer, or… something. Something else, something lighter. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “No, it’s fine. He’s better now, anyway. That’s why I’m here.”
You nodded, allowing a hint of a smile to cross your face. “That’s good to hear.”
“Good to hear that I’m here or that he’s better?” he joked, grinning. He cocked his head to the side, rosy locks of hair rustling with the breeze. You rolled your eyes, shaking your head.
“…maybe both.”
His brows shot up, surprised. Usually such a joke would’ve been shut down immediately, whether that was by a one finger salute or a straight up order to be quiet. You couldn’t help but let out a breathy huff of laughter, realizing that maybe you were a little too mean to the poor boy.
“You aren’t so bad, Yuji.”
To say Yuji beamed was an understatement. Best believe he rode that high for the rest of the day. The rest of the week, maybe. Even when your horse kicked him in the mud and left him looking like a dirty, squashed bug, even after Nobara nearly ran him over whilst learning to drive in your truck and excused it with an ‘oops’ and a ‘you’re a man, you can take it!’ But that was okay, both circumstances were okay, because you’d tended to him after. Well… maybe you’d sprayed the mud off of him with the hose like he was a rabid dog, but it was attention nonetheless. Maybe you’d have been nicer if he hadn’t chased you around and insisted on giving you a hug, sludge and all. The second time you’d asked if he was okay, played it off with a laugh. Maybe he himself was oblivious to it, but Nobara saw the worry in your eyes. But of course Yuji had responded with a bright smile and a corny thumbs up, which although stupid and boyish, had both eased your nerves and made a dopey smile of your own threaten to appear on your face.
𓍼
“How can you tell if it’s good or not? It’s a peach. They all look the same.”
“No they don’t, idiot! Look!”
“But that literally looks the same?!”
Your two friends bickering was simply background noise to you as you strolled through the humble little market of Chiudam, the closest town to your settlement of farms. Originally, this was supposed to be a solo trip. Keyword: was. Your plans had been spoiled when the happy go lucky, pink haired boy had hopped into your truck the moment he saw you, didn’t even bother to ask. An unfortunate chain of events had lead to Nobara joining as well, your smooth drive down to the grocery store turned into what felt like a mobile zoo exhibit.
There you were, actually shopping whilst they argued over peaches.
You let out a sigh under your breath, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. You loved her, but you’d come to realize that whenever Yuji was around, Nobara got increasingly stupider. Honestly, though, you were just happy to see that she was making more friends. She wasn’t exactly popular around these parts, her temper had granted that.
“You guys keep bickering, I’m gonna check out,” you called back, dropping the last of the items on your list into the basket hanging from your elbow.
You left them in the dust, making your way to the one and only cash register in the shop. You didn’t pay much mind to whoever was standing behind it, their back turned as they punched something into a computer at the back wall. You began unloading the groceries, placing them on the counter one by one.
And then, you glanced up. You felt something in you shift, your guard immediately going up.
“Fancy seeing you here,” he smirked wolfishly, like a predator looking down on its prey. You sneered, disgust written all over your face.
“Kotaro,” you said, a curt greeting. You stood stiffly, expectant as you waited for him to scan your items. Could this guy do his job instead of staring at you like that? His scruffy brown hair nearly touched the flannel draped over his shoulders, and he seemed oddly dirty for a store clerk. He’d been banned from working on your farm, along with the rest, after being particularly creepy for his entire time there. A hand sliding up your bare leg, inching under the fabric of your sundress, a wolf whistle as you walked by, gross comments behind your back, you name it. A punch in the face and the threat of his downfall didn’t seem to bother him, because here he was.
“Haven’t seen you around lately,” he said.
You mumbled under your breath, “I wonder why.”
“You been avoiding me, little lady?” The fact that he was 20 didn’t help the way that nickname made you nearly recoil. Coming from anyone else, it was endearing, most often used by role models and father figures. From him it felt much more perverted, much more odd.
“Don’t call me that.”
He leaned over the counter, breath nearly wafting over your face. His scratchy, stiff hand was placed on your arm, forbidding you from moving without making a scene. You didn’t know why you felt so defenceless. Making a scene had never scared you, but it was different when you were here in public than it was on the outskirts, at your home.
“Come on, you know you like it. Admit it,” he said, voice low and eerie. You pulled away from his grasp, eyes narrowing in a glare. You were about to speak, ready to spit some sort of insult or name at him, but you were cut off.
“I think it’s pretty clear she doesn’t like that, man. Take your hands off of her.”
Yuji was just behind you, nose scrunched up as he took in the sight before him. He looked oddly serious, more than you’d ever seen him before. He swatted the man’s hand away, gentle but enough to pry it off. There was a red imprint left on the skin of your arm, the traces of his greed staining the flesh.
Kotaro laughed arrogantly, clearly sizing Yuji up. He puffed out his chest, jaw ticking as he glanced between the two of you. “What are you, her boyfriend or somethin’?”
Yuji paused for a moment, glancing at you as if to ask for permission. He looked back to the social reject standing behind the counter, speaking. “Maybe I am. What’s it to you?”
He scoffed, shaking his head. He grumbled to himself, nothing but a gruff murmur under his breath as he scanned the last of your groceries, lazily shoving them into a bag and taking your cash. Nobara joined the two of you once you left, she’d been waiting outside. As the bell atop the door rang softly through the empty streets, Yuji turned to you.
“Are you okay? Sorry, I uh… I didn’t know what else to do,” he said, a lopsided grin making its way onto his lips. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he waited for a response, hoping and praying you wouldn’t think he was weird for what he’d said. He visibly relaxed when you smiled, a huff of laughter leaving your lips.
“Yeah, I’m okay. It’s okay,” you said, nodding as the three of you walked. The concrete was run down, pebbles poking into your shoes with every step as you approached your truck. You halted for a moment, a delicate hand placed on Yuji’s arm. He stopped in tow with you, and Nobara obliviously continued her pace. Or maybe she wasn’t oblivious, maybe she was all too aware, walking away for the complete opposite reason to what you’d thought.
“Thanks, Yuji.” You pushed yourself up on your tiptoes, pressing a soft, chaste kiss to his cheek. You were pulling away in an instant, but he could’ve sworn the feeling of your lips lingered. His lips parted, face heating up as he gently placed his fingers over where you’d kissed him.
He stood there motionless for a moment, struggling to get a word out as he watched you join Nobara. It was only when the two of you turned around and waved for him to follow that he snapped out of it. He smiled, jogging to catch up with you. That lovesick grin didn’t leave his face, not for a long while.
“Uh.. how do you know that guy, anyway?”
Nobara cut in, all too eager to give Yuji the run down. “Oh my gosh I have to tell you. We fuckin’ hate him.”
Though Yuji’s eyes widened a fraction at her foul language, he was somewhat eager to hear her. The entire ride back home was her airing him out, because somehow, she knew everything about everyone in this damn town. Not that you minded. All you could do was grin as you drove, glancing into your mirror to get a fleeting glimpse of Yuji in your back seat. The way he’d defended you made something within you stir, something you hadn’t felt before. Was this what Nobara was talking about?
Just later that night, the three of you found yourselves circled around a bonfire, sharing a flask of whiskey you’d swiped from your kitchen. It was at the back of the property, a small clearing so far from the road that it couldn’t even be seen. Over the years, you and Nobara had mapped out every bit of the farm, knowing it like the back of your hands. You knew every good spot, every trail, every dip in the earth. On nights like these, the perks of that really shone through.
This was Yuji’s first bonfire. You hadn’t invited him before, keeping the little event a secret between you and Nobara. Because of recent changes, though, you decided Yuji was worthy of the experience.
The fact that this wasn’t only his first bonfire with you, but his first bonfire ever wasn’t apparent until the heaps of wood in front of you began going up in flames. He stood there like an awestruck child, mouth open in shock. It was a wholesome sight to see. The flames danced in his wide brown eyes, and you cursed yourself for paying more attention to him than the fire before you.
“Woah…” he said, voice soft and low. You shared a look with Nobara, smirking. It had become less impressive and more routine to you by now, so to see it be so foreign to someone was undeniably entertaining.
You sat down in some lawn chairs, taken from the depths of the shed in your yard where nobody would notice their absence. The sky was only beginning to darken, a cool chill beginning to set in the air. The three of you chatted mindlessly as you stared at the stars above, tips of the raging fire creeping into your line of sight.
You pulled the cool metal flask from the pocket of your sweater, unscrewing it with ease. You took the lid off with a flick, letting it land in the grass with a soft thud. Taking a swig, you winced. Bitter.
You passed it to Nobara, who downed a sip with a scarily straight face (though you both knew her mind would spin after just a few more). Next was Yuji, who eyed the drink like it was an artifact from another planet. He took a drink from it, his face contorting in disgust and nearly spitting it out. He coughed, placing a hand around his throat to ease it.
“Blegh! That’s gross,” he said. You laughed, taking the flask from his hand and downing some of it. He eyed you, taking in the way your throat bobbed as you swallowed. A drop of it fell from your lips, down onto the skin of your chest. He pulled his eyes away to be respectful, telling himself he wasn’t staring, but his throat felt dry. He glanced back at you, looking at your eyes this time. “Gimme another sip.”
It wasn’t long before drunken giggles filled the air, though contrary to what most would expect, Yuji was the main cause. Though Nobara was somewhat a lightweight based on country standards, Yuji was the worst of you. You assumed he wasn’t one to drink, especially since he’d spent the past year taking care of his grandpa. When would he even have the time? Besides, you were sixteen, it wasn’t like you could waltz into the liquor store and get some yourself. You and Nobara only drank because you were allowed though, it was normal here. Nobara’s family was more strict in that sense, but your father wasn’t. He’d slip you a beer on cool summer nights, and the three of you could sit on the porch and reminisce like a group of old women. It was nice. It wasn’t like you were a few delinquents stealing booze from your parents cabinet, though with the way you’d basically fed Yuji that whiskey, it sort of felt that way.
You laughed at something insignificant, probably a stupid face someone had made or the memory of that time Nobara and Yuji had fallen in the mud whilst running to you. So much had happened in the past month, or rather the nearly six weeks since you’d met. It was funny to think about how you’d been so cold yo Yuji upon first meeting him, and now you couldn’t peel your attention off him. Even just being his friend, if it would still be classified as such, had changed you.
Everyone had noticed. You weren’t so stand offish around most people now, it seemed his happy-go-lucky attitude had rubbed off on you. You just felt… happier. More you. It felt as if a piece of your soul had been kept from you, only reuniting with its whole when Yuji came around. Your heart was with him, and now that he was here, it had found home… for the next two weeks, at least.
Two weeks. Fuck. You only had two weeks left with him, and the boldest thing you’d done was a thank you kiss on the cheek.
Suddenly a lazy arm was draped around you, heavy and strong. A cheek was squished against your shoulder and you could feel him grinning against it, crooked and dumb. And cute.
“Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout?” he asked, speech slurred and dragged out. He laughed at himself, drunk but not drunk enough to ignore how drunk he was, I guess.
“Nothin’ Yuji, don’t worry ‘bout it.”
Nobara laughed, draped out over her own chair just a few feet away. She let out a snort, to which she only laughed harder at. Yuji joined in, his laughter racking both yours and his body, as he was still wrapped around you. You were honestly just as intoxicated as the two of them, but you handled it better. Well enough to not end up falling to the ground in hysterics because of a snort. The corners of your lips did quirk up, though, much to your dismay. As their laughter died down, the only noise heard was the warm crackling of the fire and the crickets chirping from all around you.
Somehow, some way, Yuji ended up asleep. His position didn’t change, still holding onto you like a sloth, but soft snores rumbled against your sweater now. You glanced down at him, brushing a stray tuft of hair out of his face. He looked so pretty, so peaceful. You liked that, you wanted peace for him. You liked him.
You didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the undying need to get it off your back, but you spoke. “I think I might be falling for him.”
“Glad you finally accepted it,” spoke a half awake Nobara from the chair beside you. Her eyes drifted shut, a grin tugging at her lips as she mumbled some last words before falling asleep. “You better do something about it soon, he’s too scared. Then he’ll be gone and you’ll be sad and whiney, and I don’t wanna listen to you.”
As she peeked at you one last time before unconsciousness took over, you knew she wasn’t lying. She was all too right, as bitchy as it sounded.
“Yeah yeah fuck you, I know,” you mumbled. Then your eyes fell shut, shifting to lean against Yuji as sleep enveloped you. You knew you had to do something. Someone like him didn’t come around often, people with hearts as big as their minds and eyes that sparkled every time you came around. He was different, and you wouldn’t lose him.
𓍼
“I like you.”
You were once again out for a ride, the sun rising over the horizon and spreading the mornings glow over the trees as you passed through them. You’d slowed, the sound of hooves beating into the ground lowering to a soft, steady beat. This had become routine for the two of you, something you looked forward to. Usually he’d come to wake you up every morning, the sound of pebbles hitting the glass of your window something you expected every day at 6am sharp. He told you he wanted to get out before the sun rose, but really, he just liked how you looked when you’d just rolled out of bed. All messy haired and droopy eyed, that annoyed look etched into your face. You just looked so mundane and pretty, a contrast to the composed girl he was used to seeing.
That had been the case this morning, too. When you first awoke, you didn’t have this planned. You were expecting another little horse ride, maybe some laughter and conversation, but not this. You don’t know why you just blurted it out like that. If you hadn’t, though, you weren’t sure you’d ever say it at all.
He choked on his spit, both of your eyes widening simultaneously, as if you had only heard your words when he did. “…what?”
“What?” you echoed. He made a face, a mix of ‘am I schizophrenic’ and ‘don’t act oblivious now.’
“I’m dumb, but not that dumb,” he muttered, avoiding eye contact. You still moved leisurely through the forest, the trees passing by slowly, slower than time. “I… I heard that.”
You let out a breath of air through your nose, chest rising and falling. Your hands felt shaky, and you were sure you were on the verge of passing out. You could only imagine what would happen if he didn’t like you back. Well… at least there was only one more week of him staying here?
“You did.”
He began speaking, but stopped. He kept opening his mouth and closing it again, like a floundering fish on land. He was struggling for words, speechless for once. He felt dizzy, his mind scrambled. “I- do you mean that?”
You paused for a long moment, one that to Yuji, felt like years. He had been yearning to hear those sweet words fall from your lips for… well, he couldn’t exactly remember when it started. He’d even asked Nobara what to do, desperate for some sort of help. The thing was, he wasn’t convinced that you liked him back. Even when Nobara pushed it, even pinky promised, he couldn’t bring himself to believe her. But now you’d said it. You were right here and you’d just told him you liked him, and he just needed to hear you say you meant it.
Well, there wasn’t much of a point in denying it now. “Why would I say it if I didn’t?”
He swallowed thickly, hastily nodding. That was true. He knew that, you weren’t a liar. He felt so dumb. He just felt all over the place when he was with you, more than usual, and that had been multiplied tenfold now. He brought his horse to a stop, a short neigh meeting your ears as well as the sound of his feet meeting the ground.
You stared at him for a moment, mind blank, before coming to your senses and following him suit. The two of you tied their reins to a fallen log nearby, that was the closest you’d get to something proper.
He stood parallel to you now, shakily meeting your eyes for brief seconds before staring at the ground once again. He didn’t look all that nervous, but internally he was freaking the fuck out. He was screaming and yelling but at the same time, resisting the urge to pump his fist in the air and cry from joy.
“I uh… I don’t know where to start,” he said.
“I’m sorry.”
His head shot up, panic overtaking his features. He reached out without a second thought, shaking his hands and head simultaneously in defence.
“No- no! I like you too! A lot!” he exclaimed, eyes wide and shining with something you couldn’t quite recognize. Your throat closed up, blinking at him in shock.
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” he said, smiling as he rubbed the back of his neck. He did that often, you noticed. A nervous habit of his. “I just… I didn’t think you liked me back, so I didn’t say anything. I thought Nobara was just saying that, you know? But I really, really like you, like I just said, I was just scared. I’m a coward, I know. You’re not supposed to be the one to confess, I-“
He was cut off as you lurched forward, pressing your lips against his. They slotted together perfectly, like they were always meant to. It barely took him a second to kiss back with equal fervour, equal enthusiasm. His eyes fluttered shut, matching yours. His hand rested at the back of your neck, holding you, but giving you enough room to back out if you wanted. He held you as if he kissed you first, as if he was unsure that you wanted to.
You parted with a pant, breaths mingling. It took the both of you a couple moments before your eyes opened again, and it was then that he regained some of his consciousness.
“What was that for?!” he asked, though any suspicion you had of his anger were washed away as his lips began spreading in a smile. “I was talking there.”
You mimicked his grin, lovesick and stupid. “Had to shut you up somehow.”
He laughed, eyes crinkling just like they had the first time you met him. When he’d been nothing but a stranger, one you had a particular distaste for at that. Nothing but a heart without a home. That strangers heart had found home on your little ranch, with you.
“In that case…” he said, though his sentence wasn’t finished with words. It was finished with him reeling you back in, kissing you like he wanted to make up for lost time as well as the next few centuries. Like you were delicate and eternal and everything he wanted, and in a way, you were. He’d be fine spending eternity with you, but if that wasn’t possible, he supposed the rest of his life could suffice.
He pulled away, gazing down at you as if you had placed every star in the sky just for him. “I think I’m doing this backwards,” he said, “but will you be my girlfriend? Please.”
You grinned, your heart racing wildly in your chest. You were sure it would jump out if that pace kept up, but at the same time, you figured it wasn’t yours anymore anyway. It was his, it had been for a while.
“Well, since you asked so nicely.”
𓍼
Yeah, Yuji went home the week after that. But he didn’t leave, no, not in the slightest. It wasn’t long after that when he got his license, and he made sure to take frequent trips to your farm. Also, a pleasant surprise (or moreso something he’d forgotten to mention) was that he was starting school again, at your school. You could imagine the surprise you felt when you sat down in homeroom only to see the bright face of your boyfriend staring at you from the doorway.
He was there for every big event, and every small one too. Your weekly campfires with Nobara became ritual, after which you’d end up curled up in your bed, his face squished against your neck and suffocating you with his weight. He was there for every rodeo you took part in, screaming and clapping ridiculously loud. He was your number one cheerleader, always right next to Nobara and your dad, the former yelling almost as loud as him. You couldn’t have been more grateful for your morning routine, and your mouth that moved before your brain did, because it gained you who you were convinced was the love of your life and lost you nothing but the nuisance of dealing with other boys.
It was safe to say your dad hired him next summer. And every summer after that. And for every summer after, he loved you just the same.
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Perma tag(s) — @anotherwriternamedclara
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heartlesscorpse · 1 day ago
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Soft Spot
A/N: I MADE IT, it’s finally done 😤😤 — I did a little rerun of Mr. Machete’s route some nights ago, just to get a layout with writing his character so I’d get a better gist in how I was gonna work with him. There wasn’t a lot of content for Mr. Machete in his tag which makes me sad so I wrote this for self-indulgent reasons and I just had the need to write smth again. The homicipher dictionary I’ve used was created by another user! The link is here if anyone else wants to use it for their writing :))
Summary: After narrowly surviving yet another altercation with a resident, you woke up in a room with Mr. Machete’s cradling you in his lap. Although Mr. Machete hated staying in one spot, he begrudgingly stayed by your side, and the two of you taking a short break from your travels.
WARNING: Mentions of consumption of blood, this also takes place after Mr. Machete’s ending so there will be spoilers mentioned!
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The last few moments you could even remember before you blacked out from the fall was you just had yet another run-in with a resident with Mr. Machete, you took your chances to run from the situation. While Mr. Machete on the other hand, being the energized one who's always looking for a fight; he struck weapons with them head on. The ground began shaking violently underneath you as you ran, another earthquake was about to strike the area.
Some debris was falling from the ceiling due to the large magnitude, Mr. Machete from seconds ago had just caught up to you when he defeated the resident and the both of you were now running to safety. When you reached some place safe from most of the damage totalled by the earthquake, your vision was obstructed by visual snow and everything became blurry all of a sudden, you feel light-headed and your knees were extremely weak. You were unable to support your weight without having to grab onto something or lean against the wall to prevent yourself from collapsing, and the last thing you saw was Mr. Machete turning his attention towards you…
As your consciousness was slowly coming back to you, your eyes cracked open as your vision was adjusting to your surroundings, the large blob looming over you that you could vaguely make out was Mr. Machete. A small unpleasant cold chill ran through your body from Mr. Machete’s calloused touch, and as your sight was beginning to focus and you regained your bearings… You found yourself in Mr. Machete’s lap. Your head cradled in his arm, his weapon laid discarded beside him with an unreadable expression written on his features.
“ત ટ д λ п บ ८.” (You awake.)
Mr. Machete grumbled, his lips turned to a deep frown, expressing his bit of annoyance and disappointment.
“ત ટ д п こ λ ☨.” (You weak.)
There wasn’t much you could say on that note, you remained unresponsive and gave Mr. Machete a weak smile, Mr. Machete huffed a breath in reaction. You’re lucky he cares about you, not that he’ll ever tell you of course.
“Sorry…” You murmured quietly, repeating the apology again in his otherworldly language. Mr. Machete still didn’t seem pleased with this, but he’ll let it slide this time. He didn’t want this to turn out as the same situation like when they encountered Mr. Hugeface, though that ended swiftly when you showed off your strength when defeating Mr. Hugeface and he surprisingly complimented you.
Mr. Machete grunted in response to your apology, briefly accessing your weakened state as you shifted your weight on his lap. Your senses were still somewhat clouded and the light headedness from earlier lingered.
“ป ८ ሰ ટ?” (Hungry?)
Mr. Machete reached for his weapon, slicing open his palm with the blade and beads of blood began seeping out from the wound. You didn’t bother to struggle and you opened your mouth, Mr. Machete squeezed his hand and the blood trickled past your lips. You still weren’t used to the strong metallic taste of blood and your face scrunched up the moment it touched your tongue. While this was one disgusting method in getting 'food' to keep yourself energized, you bit back the urge to gag and laved your tongue over the cut when Mr. Machete pressed his palm over your mouth.
“ટ ⊔ נ つㅗ…” (Thank you…)
You pushed away Mr. Machete’s hand, wiping away a drop of blood on your chin and you sat up. Mr. Machete seemed ready to get moving again, so you rolled off of his lap and climbed to your feet. Mr. Machete got up and grabbed his weapon, he busted open the door on the other end of the room and lumbered off, then you followed him shortly after. Mr. Machete still doesn’t understand know or why he hasn’t even ditched you yet, this was the second time he’s had to feed you his blood, he shouldn’t even care about your physical wellbeing.
But he had the warm fuzzy feeling creeping in his chest just listening to you ramble about things, those few times he saw you smile did some things to him too… He really has gotten soft around you. Well, somewhat. But he’ll never say that out loud.
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amnayel · 3 days ago
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I hope book 8 will be all about malleus
Im really disappointed with book 7, I’ve waited years for it to come only for it to drag infinitely talking about literally everyone else BUT malleus
He is only relevant during 3 parts of the 11 we have until now, which is also the only 3 parts he even appeared
Every other ob boy was the focus of their book yet malleus is being treated like a side character, they really made of everyone a hero of a fairy tale and cast malleus aside as a villain
From a story perspective, book 7 is actually pretty interesting, but from a malleus stan perspective I’m so disappointed
I know most people must think malleus stans are annoying for complaining about this but yall will never know how it was a knife for us to see so little of him in book 7 when he is already THE CHARACTER WITH THE LEAST CARDS
He appeared in 5 events, 4 of them where full cast/half cast events
He was only ever in ONE exclusive event, and he was a SR
Don’t tell me to not be bothered by the lack of screentime he has, idc if he is one of the most famous characters
I don’t want popularity, I want official content
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leviackermanssjewishwife · 2 days ago
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“It’s okay..”
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Summary: Levi comes home from a failed expedition absolutely wrecked, so you and your unborn child try to comfort him.
Details: 601 words. Hurt/comfort. 2nd person pov. Levi just needs a hug.
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You had always decided to meet Levi at the front porch of your guys small shared house, rather than the crowd that “welcomed,” back the scouts with complaints and insults.
Though you also knew something was up the moment you saw him coming down your small dirt road, you knew the expedition went badly, you could just see the dark cloud hanging over him.
Your suspicions were confirmed with how quickly he tied up his horse, and for one of the first times you can remember in your marriage, he ran up in hugged you. Avoiding the round large belly, you are pretty sure the child had already sense their father was home, as you could feel the movement inside of you.
After you got Levi inside the house, he immediately went upstairs, saying that he wanted to clean himself up. It wasn’t just about Levi’s obsession with cleanliness that fueled this you figured, judging by the red blood that stuck to him and clothes, and the fact that is hadn’t evaporated, it wasn’t titan blood.
A little later, when the sun was setting and night was falling you and Levi sat in the shared master bedroom. While you folded laundry, Levi sat on the large fluffy bed, his legs hanging off the side, his feet brushing the wood floor, running his fingers across a baby blanket you had made, for the little one yet to come.
You knew Levi was never a talkative person, but sometimes it got on your nerves that he wasn’t. You knew something was bothering him, you could see it in his eyes, and the dark cloud that hang over him. Wanting to get an answer, not for any malicious reason, but you wanted to comfort him. You wanted to comfort your husband, and you knew he wouldn’t accept it until he wanted it.
You sat down besides him, the bed making a squeaking noise as you did, and you hope that meant the bed frame was old and not that you were gaining to much pregnancy weight. Which is something that Levi always assured you was okay, so now you’re going to assure him.
“Talk to me.” You whisper softly, as you use one of your fingers to tilt his head up to yours as his soft gray eyes meet yours, and you swear you can fall in love again. Though before you can even you can get your second sentence out, he is moving to the floor, and you can hear his knees hit the hard wood floor as he grips your legs in his arms, his head resting on your thighs as if looking for comfort in your physical body.
“I’m a failure.” He whispered into your house gown, and you can feel his lips and the words against your skin. He moves one of his hands from the back of your calf to the large round stomach, to the unborn child resting inside you as if seeking comfort from the person that is not even aware of presence, let alone their fathers.
“Oh, Levi. It’s okay.” You whisper back in his ear as you lean down, brushing a few strands of his dark back hair behind his ear, the motion calming you both.
You don’t know how long the two of you stay in that position. You whispering soft nothings in his ear, as you feel a couple soft warm drops of water on your leg. You don’t care how long you two stayed in that position, as long as he got the comfort he looked for, you were okay with it.
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A/n: This is probably one of my favorite things I’ve ever written for this account. It’s also probably one of the longest.
Taglist: @shayewrites @defnoturman @obsessionprofessional @ackermanswifee @fxnnyackerman
Join my taglist!
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realcube · 10 hours ago
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dilf decemeber
day one ⭑ tsukishima kei ⭑ hot neighbour x reader
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tw : age gap, second-hand embarrassment
you know you shouldn't, but when you see the flickering lights of his car pulling into the apartements' resident parking bay, followed by the whirring of the elevator as it brings him up to your shared floor, you can't help but press your ear against your door from the inside to hear if he bought his kids home with him today.
they always fill the apartment complex with such a jovial and chipper energy; the other residents of your floor complain that his kids are too loud when kei brings them home after work, but you think 6PM is a perfectly reasonable time for them to be a bit boisterous.
regardless, it was a shame when all you heard was his lone feet dragging over to his apartment's door. but on the bright side, it meant you might get a moment alone with him tonight.
originally your plan was to let him get changed and have a moment to himself first before you started bothering him, but you quickly realised the food you made would be cold by then, and you'd rather him enjoy it while it's fresh and hot.
so without delay, you throw on a pair of flats and cute hoodie over your pyjamas and rush over to his apartment door, knocking on it eagerly.
it did concern you that greeting him so soon after he finished work would be irritating for him, and the last thing you would want is to be on his bad side, but he seems to have a soft spot for you. whenever you talk to him, even if he has his phone in one hand trying to make a call, and his kid pulling on his other arm, his gaze still appears to relax when looking at you.
and you hope he really does like you and this isn't all in your head, as you've also had your sights set on him ever since he moved in next to you. something about the way he sents off in the morning with his fitted beige suit on and hair perfectly pulled back. how stern and determined he looks behind those glasses in the morning, but come evening, it's typically melted into a stirring pit of stress and fatigue. but he still looks hot hauling himself to his door.
that why you decided it would be nice if you brought him something to eat — at least then he wouldn't have to worry about making dinner himself. you cooked a lasagna because you heard it was his kids' favourite meal.
it took a minute or so but eventually tsukishima dragged himself over to the door and pulled it open. "yes?" he calls out in a gruff, low tone. evidently he was expecting someone else, as when his eyes fall upon you in his doorway, he visibly straightens his posture, clears his throat and adjusts his glasses. "oh, (y/n). can i help you?"
"yes! i mean, no. uh," you catch yourself awkwardly strumbling over words already, while he just silently snickers, "i made this for you and your family. i hope you enjoy it." you offer him the lasagna, and he hesitantly reaches out and takes it.
"thanks. but it's not poison, is it? because i know how badly you all want my kids to be quiet." he jokes, but you immediately jump to defend yourself, abash at his implication.
"oh, no. of course not. i actually don't mind your kids making noise, i think it's sweet that they have so much energy and they should be able to express—"
tsukishima interupts your ramage but smirking and placing a large hand on your shoulder, "i'm kidding. i want them to shut up as much as the rest of you do." he says light-heartedly, glancing half-lidded between the lasagna in his hands and your glowing face, "but even if this was poison, i think i'd still have a bite. looks pretty decent."
"pretty decent?" you laugh.
"yeah, decent. might even be edible." he nods, trying to suppress a cheeky smile, "but i need to try it first to confirm. want to join me?"
"join you?" you repeat in shock, raising your eyebrows.
"yes. you're the one who made this, after all. you should try some." he turns around to head inside his apartment, looking at you from over his shoulder and quirking an eyebrow, "unless you've done enough volunteer work for today. you probably have better things to do then entertain the elderly." he teases, and you trail after him, following him inside.
"i always have time for the old and senile."
"well, aren't you just an angel sent from heaven?" he says mockingly, still brandishing a playful smirk, as he sets out places and begins to serve the slices of lasagna.
he motions for you to take a seat across from his at the dinner table, and you do so. he sits down too, after retrieving a tall bottle of red wine and placing it on the table for you to gawk at.
"ooh, that looks fancy. what's the occasion?"
he rolls his eyes and works at uncorking the bottle and serving it, "first childless dinner in three months. though, that's assuming that you count as an adult, which i'm not too sure about."
you can tell there is banter in his tone, so you reciprocate and reply in a light-hearted manner, scoffing playfully, "what the hell do you mean?"
"i can see your rainbow socks sticking out from your shoes." he replies monotonously, which causes you look down in dismay. and indeed, there it was. but instead of being outwardly embarrassed by it, you agonisingly try to conceal it with confidence and repartee.
"so what? they're comfortable and economical." you weren't entirely certain why you related your socks to the economy but fortunately tsukishima moved on. as he was pouring the drinks into your respestive glasses, he noticed you hadn't started eating yet so he encouraged you to do so.
"go on. what're you waiting for? are you waiting for me to take the first bite so you don't have to consume the poison?"
you roll your eyes and just to prove a point in a dramatic fashion, you cut a large section of the lasagna off and attempt to stuff it into your mouth. and for the most part you do, but in the process, a large serving of tomato sauce spills down your cheek.
you hastily grab a napkin and begin to clean it up, while tsukishima just sits across the table and laughs. loudly. "wow, angel. your status of an adult is really coming into question again."
you scoff, and once your finished chewing your large portion of lasagna and have seemingly wiped your face clean of any remaining sauce, you mutter, "just because i've not got cataracts yet, doesn't mean i fail to qualify as an adult."
"wow, rude. i don't have cataracts; these are regular glasses for regularly blind people." he teases, then follows it up by pointing to your cheek, "and it seems like you need them more than me. you missed a spot."
your face flushes in embarrassment, as you pick up the napkin and follow his gesture to locate the smudge, "where is it?"
he leans in closer, until his hands is near to your face, then quickly runs his thumb against your cheek — right beside your lips — and smearing cold sauce against your skin in the process. "right there." he chuckles.
you groan, using the napkin to wipe it away again. "so childish." you shake your head disapprovingly, and he just raises his eyebrows at you.
"well, that makes two of us."
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btw ik it's not said explicitly but he's obviously divorced, this isn't a cheating fic.
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gojoscinnamonroll · 1 day ago
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i wish i could forget what you did last december...
cw: sukuna angst, no comfort, mentions of death & infidelity, sfw
it was december 23rd, and you were laying in bed moping over your first love, ryomen sukuna. it had been a year since you and your ex had called it quits, and it doesn't help that you've known the stubborn and selfish boy your whole life.
the two of you had always been inseparable since a young age despite your differences. he first came up to you at the park at the age of 5 when you were bawling your eyes out because your doll had broken it’s arm and offered you his robot toy. "tch. stop crying and take this, have it. you shouldn't cry, it makes you look weak." the bratty little boy extending an arm out to you to hand you the toy. "what are you playing anyway?" sniffling and taking the robot from his hands, you gave him a toothy grin telling him how you were playing castle.
and since that moment, the two of you were always together everywhere. all through out the school years and even into university. always at each other's houses every weekend and sometimes, for days on end. and when the holiday season came around every year? you two were practically attached at the hip. christmas was never really his thing— mostly because he didn’t understand what a big deal it was, but he knew how special it was to you so he was always by your side to celebrate with and for you. along the way, maybe sometime during one of the many decembers spent together over the years, you both had realized the feelings for each other were deeper than you both thought. however, the romantic feelings grown for each other always ended up being suppressed due to one factor— fear.
when sukuna had lost his parents during his third year, it was hard on him and it took a toll on him mentally. he had basically moved in with your family. taking care of him, giving him a place to stay, and giving him comfort. for that, (though he would never say it) he was eternally grateful but he lived in terror of letting you know his true feelings for you because he thought that in this sick and twisted world, if he was loud about what he loved, the world would take that away.
eventually, sukuna did overcome his worry for his love for you, confessing how he felt at a temple in the winter and was just as relieved when you admitted your mutual warmness for him. your relationship with him began blossoming beautifully, healing him from the pain and darkness he was fighting prior, and as if you two weren't already entwined enough, it was increased tenfold.
"we belong together. you know that? you are not to ever leave me woman. i would not know this thing called life without you.” leaving a kiss on your forehead as he embraced you. "yeah yeah, think we knew that from the start when you gave me your robot toy when you were a bratty little kid." you giggled as you hugged him tighter and he rolls his eyes hiding the slight blush on his cheeks.
until one night when attending a christmas eve party, you got up to grab another drink and came back to a scene that shattered your heart into pieces just like the glass that slipped from your hand... he was kissing somebody else??? arms around the other like nothing?? "i- i don't understand? did he just forget about me? w-what.." your heart and mind racing a million thoughts at once, but you did know one thing for sure... to get the hell out of there. you grabbed your stuff, tears falling from your eyes uncontrollably as you called a friend to come pick you up and take you home since he was the one that drove and you were already a few drinks in.
when you got home, you didn't even bother to call or text him because of all the sadness and rage you were spewing out. you were also a very emotional person, so you knew speaking to him in this state of mind was going to get you nowhere. drained from all the events of the night, you passed out on your bed and woke up the next morning with 50 missed calls, 20 text messages from sukuna and a knock on the door of your apartment. you opened the door automatically knowing who it was and told him, “it’s over ryomen. you can have her. don’t ever contact me again. forget about me. we clearly don’t belong together.” he tried to hold the door open with force to prevent you from closing it, in hopes you would hear him out. "listen, it was a mistake, you have to hear me-" you cut him off. "go away. i don't want to hear what lame made-up, kiss butt, sorry excuse you got." you said coldly and slammed the door in his face, all the memories from the night prior replaying in your mind as you sobbed on your cold floor.
it was difficult for the two of you to deal with. not only because it was over between you and your boyfriend, but also because it was the end of a friendship with your best friend that you’ve known since forever. you struggled with accepting it was true but you knew you should’ve also known better because he was a mess. a beautiful one at that, one that only you could understand. difficult for him because he thought that the universe and world was being cruel to him all over again for taking what he loved the most and what all he’s ever known away from him again. but maybe it was time for the two of you to go your own ways and discover that maybe there was more to this world than just the two of you.
so once you’ve finally came around to that conclusion, deciding maybe it was time to start seeing other people and probably give your heart to someone else, find somebody special who is not him, hoping it would save you from tears and more heartache. you tried it. over and over. but nobody could ever get you or know you like he did. so you just gave up. and you hated it even more that this had happened during your favorite holiday which sukuna knew it was.
which brings you to where you are now, wondering how sukuna is doing even though you knew you shouldn’t. you couldn’t help it no matter how hard you tried. after all, he was your soulmate, your childhood best friend, the one who helped you through it all. as you lay on your bed staring at the lights of your christmas tree, deep in thought, you shed a few burning tears as you cried out, “damn it ryo, why the hell did you have to ruin everything last december, you know this is the time of year we are supposed to do everything together. you broke my heart with no warning, left me a freaking mess, you-“
you hear a knock on your door and wiped your tears away with your sweater sleeve as you sat up in your bed. “who could be out there in the middle of a snowstorm right now??” you thought as you open the door to see him standing before you. “apologies for pestering you at a time like this. mind if i come in?”
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likes + reblogs appreciated <3 please don't steal/copy/modify my works!
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moralesluvr · 11 hours ago
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IDFC | BILLIE EILISH.
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୧ ‧₊˚ your best friend comes home drunk again, and you realize that hiding your love for her is dawning on you more than you thought.
pairings & aus. billie eilish x fem!reader warnings. angst & nothing but it | unrequited love | no happy ending (but do tell if you want a part two...) author's note. hello second upload of the day!! (this is so unlike me) but i had this revolutionary idea while listening to idfc by blackbear...so here's this very angsty fic lmao! enjoy! word count. 2.7k
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falling in love with your best friend has got to take the cake for the ‘dumbest shit i’ve ever put myself through’ award, you think.
you didn’t mean for it to happen— of course not, and it all happened so quickly that you didn’t realize how deep you were in it until months later.
you and billie had became friends in an odd way, you knew someone who knew claudia and of course, billie did too— so the both of you mingled at her birthday party a couple years back, when the both of you were just shy of eighteen.
nobody could seperate the two of you if they tried, and that trait carried on with you and billie until you stepped into adulthood. moving in together seemed like such a good idea in the past— you two were tight, and billie wanted to live separately from her family now— it should’ve been so easy, right?
well no, of course not.
before meeting billie, you assumed that you were straight. but as teenagers, that when lines start to get blurred and things start to mess with your head, and you would sometimes catch yourself staring at her for a little too long, or your heart twisting whenever she texted you.
it killed you to fall in love with billie. it was painful and long, and with every day that passed— she only made it worse.
because she was billie eilish, she would unintentionally flirt with you, but that’s because she did it with everyone, of course she wasn’t going to treat you any differently. she always called you nicknames like ‘baby’ and ‘mama’, which wouldn’t have bothered you that bad if you understood the friendly connotations behind it. but you wanted her to be yours so damn badly, and every time she called you anything but your name, it made your skin fiery to the touch.
but the worst of the worst, god— the thing that’ll haunt you forever, was when she had kissed you in your shared apartment after your 20th birthday. compared to her at the time, you were much more innocent, and hadn’t hardly kissed anyone in your entire life. and with your own speculation that you may not be strictly into men, you had drunkenly asked her to take your ‘girl kiss virginity’ away, and she obliged like it was nothing.
you didn’t like the kiss at all. not because she wasn’t a good kisser— she was a damn good one, but it was because the kiss was deep and passionate, and her hands were roaming all over your body as one kiss turned to two, and two turned to three, and you don’t even know how long the both of you were wrapped in each other until she complained that she was tired and that she was going to go to sleep.
it made you feel like shit. she had slipped out of your room and left you lonesome, and you brushed your fingertips over your lips to try to make sense of what just happened. you had just made out with your best friend, which wasn’t the issue, the issue was that you liked it.
you eventually had to pick a side, if you were going to let your little crush get in the way of friendship, or if you were just going to sweep all of those romantic feelings under the rug. and that’s exactly what you did— you pretended like it didn’t hurt when she would get into relationships, or come to you asking for help to plot on someone she wanted to be with.
you were just being a good best friend by helping her out. she would always ask you why you didn’t ever date, and you just made up some lame excuse about how that wasn’t what interested you. which wasn’t entirely a lie, it didn’t interest you, because only she did.
in current time, it’s half past two in the morning when billie stumbles through the door of your shared apartment, keys jingling on her carabiner against her jean-clad thigh when her eyes meet yours. you’re sitting idle at the kitchen island with a bowl of cereal in your hand, clad in nothing but a pair of billie’s boxers and a lacy white tee. you shoot her an inquisitive look, “where have you been dude? it’s like, two in the fucking morning, and i’ve barely seen your face all day.”
she gives out a nonchalant shrug, closing the door with her foot, and you can just tell by her sluggish body language that she’s anything but sober. she’s smiling too much and not talking enough, and when billie gets like that, it’s usually because she’s had a couple of drinks.
you’ve been out all night, don’t know where you’ve been, youre slurring on your words, not making any sense— but i don’t fucking care.
“where have you been, billie?” you ask her, dropping your spoon in your empty bowl as you looked at her, waiting on your answer.
she’s moving so slow that it starts to piss you off, and she just gives you another drunken shrug with a wave of her hand, “don’t worry a-about it, mama, just..a l-little get together.”
the nickname that she gives you makes your skin crawl, and you slide off of your stool and grab your phone, placing your bowl in the sink without saying a word billie. you don’t have the energy to entertain her shit tonight, so you walk up the stairs quietly, slamming your room door in contrast to your silence.
you don’t expect her to bother you for the rest of the night, but billie being billie, she unsolicitedly opens your bedroom door, leaning against the door frame with one arm resting above her head, the other at her side, holding a cup of juice.
“what did you do…tonight?” billie’s words are choppy, and you try your best to not pay any mind to her. usually when she’s drunk, you’d take such good care of her, getting her into comfier clothes and letting her sleep in your bed. but you were irritated now, and you tried your best to fight the urge to be your usual, hospitable self.
“nothing, i waited on your ass to get back so i could sleep.” you responded coldly to her, walking over to your dresser to grab a hoodie to slip on. your eyes scanned the array of clothing, and you bit your lip when you realized that all the clean hoodies you had belonged to billie.
you pretended like it didn’t bother you and grabbed a gray essentials hoodie, pulling it over your head and fixing the hood, “i’m gonna go to sleep, so…”
billie sunk into the oak wood of your door, and of course, when you turn your head for five seconds, she slips and falls straight to the floor.
“fuck!”
you quickly whipped your head around, and you wanted so badly tonight to just keep to yourself and not deal with billie’s shenanigans, but you couldn’t control yourself as you ran over to her, kneeling down and grabbing her face. her eyes were closed like she was asleep, and you tapped her cheek lightly but frantically, “bils? talk to me, are you awake?”
“i-i’m fine.” billie breathes out after a couple of moments, sitting up with her back pressed against the wall. she lets out a deep sigh that makes you let out one in relief.
even though you spoke against it at first, you were determined now to put her to bed safely. you offered her your water bottle that was on your dresser as you promised her that you’d be back, venturing out into the hallway and stepping into your bathroom.
you drew a hot bath for billie the way she liked it, leaving a change of clothes on the toilet, paired with a towel.
your blood was pumping adrenaline through your veins so hard that you could feel it heat your forehead. you weren’t even angry anymore— you just felt weak now, upset with the fact that billie always seemed to have this hold over you.
you loved her too much. it was becoming an issue now, but there wasn’t anything you could do or say, so the only option you had was to stay silent and suck it up. and although it hurt, really damn badly, those were your only options.
so you walked back into your bedroom and helped billie to the tub that waited for her, helping her strip out of her clothes that reeked of burberry perfume and tequila. her shirt was now discarded on the floor along with her pants, and the only thing she was in now was her bra and underwear.
of course, billie being your best friend— you’ve seen her naked plenty of times, but it still shocks you a little when she slips out of her undergarments, sinking into the bathtub, resting her head on the side of it.
“will you stay and talk to me?” billie murmurs, a little more sober now, and you nod silently, sitting crossed legged on the floor next to her.
it takes everything in you not to kiss her right now. she’s resting her head on her arms and looking at you with soft, tired eyes, her eyelashes drooping as she fought against sleep. her lips were pink and a little swollen, and she parts them to whisper lowly, “i’m….sorry.”
“sorry for what, billie?”
silence hangs in the air for a second until you hear her move in the water, taking a loofah and lavender scented body wash. she starts with her arms, head leaned against the wall behind her, “such a mess. i am— i-i’m sorry that you…have to put up with my shit.”
“it’s okay.” you mutter silently, “i do it because i love you.”
that makes billie smile, yet she’s got no idea that the love you’re describing is so much deeper than either of you could ever imagine. but you mask it well, flashing her a fake and small smile, throwing your head back to rest it on the toilet seat lid.
you honestly start to fall asleep until you hear the water drain, and billie grabs her towel and clothes behind you as you rub your eyes, jolting awake.
there’s no talking between the two of you. you just wait until she’s done putting on her t-shirt and sweats and when she’s ready, you lead her back to your bedroom instead of her own. you didn’t trust her to be alright on her own, so you let her sleep in your bed.
when you turn all of the lights off, billie climbs into bed next to you, her face so close to yours that your noses are almost touching.
her hand touches yours for a brief moment, “thank you…for always taking c-care…of me. i love you, y/n.”
billie falls asleep before you can even reply, and you eventually do the same, a tear slipping down your cheek silently.
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the morning after is quiet, too quiet. the kind of quiet that presses against your chest and makes you want to scream just to break it. billie is still asleep when you wake up, her face turned toward you, the sunlight peeking through the blinds casting lines across her freckled skin. her lips are slightly parted, her breathing soft, and it makes your chest ache in that stupid way it always does when you look at her for too long.
you slide out of bed as carefully as you can, trying not to wake her, but even in her sleep, she stirs when you move. her hand stretches out to the space you just left, searching for you instinctively. it’s not fair how effortlessly she makes you feel like you belong to her, even when she doesn’t mean to.
the kitchen is the only refuge you have. you busy yourself making two cups of coffee, your hands shaking just enough to make it hard to pour the water into the machine. every sound feels too loud—the clink of the mug against the counter, the hum of the coffee pot, the low groan of the fridge door as you open it. your head is swimming with the memory of last night—her drunk apologies, the way her voice broke when she called herself a mess, and how much you wanted to hold her and never let go.
but you can’t. because she doesn’t love you like that.
she shuffles into the kitchen a while later, her hair a mess and her hoodie hanging off one shoulder. she looks like chaos wrapped in comfort, and it’s unfair how effortlessly beautiful she is. she rubs her eyes, leaning against the doorway as she watches you. “morning, mama,” she says, her voice still scratchy from sleep.
you don’t even bother correcting her nickname this time. it’s a battle you’ll never win. “morning,” you mutter, sliding a mug of coffee across the counter toward her.
she takes it, wrapping her hands around the warm ceramic, and gives you a soft smile. it’s the kind of smile that would make anyone else’s heart flutter, but for you, it just feels like a weight. “you didn’t have to do all that for me last night, you know,” she says quietly, her eyes downcast.
“it’s fine, billie,” you reply, your voice more clipped than you intend. “you were drunk. i couldn’t just leave you like that.”
she frowns, her brow furrowing like she’s trying to figure you out. “are you mad at me?”
you laugh bitterly, shaking your head. “no, billie. i’m not mad at you. i’m mad at….myself.”
her frown deepens, and she sets the mug down on the counter. “but why? you didn’t do anything wrong.”
her response makes you want to scream. you want to tell her everything, every little thought that’s been eating away at you for months, years even. but instead, you bite your tongue, because you can’t risk losing her. so you lie, like you always do. “forget it. it’s nothing.”
she doesn’t believe you—of course she doesn’t. but she doesn’t push, which almost makes it worse. because deep down, you wish she cared enough to dig. you wish she could see past the walls you’ve built up and realize that every time you look at her, it feels like your heart is breaking all over again.
the day passes in a blur of nothingness. billie spends most of it curled up on the couch, scrolling through her phone and occasionally singing along to whatever song is playing softly in the background. you try to distract yourself with chores, cleaning the apartment until your hands are raw from scrubbing. but no matter how much you busy yourself, your thoughts always circle back to her.
it’s late when she finally speaks again, her voice cutting through the silence like a knife. “do you ever feel like you’re…stuck?”
you glance up from where you’re folding laundry, startled by the vulnerability in her tone. “stuck how?”
“like…like you’re not where you’re supposed to be. like you’re waiting for something to happen, but it never does.”
your throat tightens, because that’s exactly how you’ve felt since the day you realized you were in love with her. “yeah,” you admit quietly. “i know what that feels like.”
she doesn’t say anything else, but her eyes meet yours across the room, and for a moment, it feels like she’s trying to tell you something without words. but then she looks away, and the moment is gone.
later, when she’s fallen asleep on the couch, you sit beside her, watching the rise and fall of her chest. the lyrics to “idfc” play in your head like a cruel mantra: “tell me pretty lies, look me in my face, tell me that you love me even if it’s fake.”
you reach out, brushing a strand of hair from her face, your fingers lingering for just a second too long. “i love you, billie,” you whisper, your voice barely audible over the sound of her breathing.
but she doesn’t hear you. and maybe that’s for the best. because no matter how much it hurts, you’ll keep pretending. you’ll keep being her best friend, her safe place, even if it kills you. because as much as you wish she could love you back, you’d rather have her like this than not at all.
and so you sit there, the weight of your unspoken feelings pressing down on you, and you let the tears fall silently, knowing that tomorrow, nothing will have changed.
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blackenedsnow · 22 hours ago
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Can you do a one shot of Art The Clown x actress reader?! Like when he sees her he gets all excited like with santa but he doesn't want to hurt her but she's still like 😨😨😨😨😨
silent curtain call
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WARNING: None
PAIRING: Art the Clown x Actress! Reader
NOTE: Hi anon! I absolutely loved this idea—it’s so fun. I hope you enjoy and sending all the best vibes your way!
SUMMARY: A late-night encounter at a nearly empty movie set leaves you face-to-face with the infamous Miles County Clown.
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The set was dead quiet.
The crew had packed up hours ago, leaving only you and a handful of stragglers tying up loose ends. The horror flick you were starring in had been plagued with delays, and now you were running overtime under dim work lights, trying to wrap the final scene.
As you made your way back to your trailer, exhaustion draped over you like a heavy cloak. The parking lot was nearly deserted, lit by a handful of flickering streetlights. You sighed, unlocking your door and dropping your bag inside when a sound made you pause.
A faint crack.
You froze. It was soft, but it carried through the air, cutting through the silence like a knife.
“Probably some intern messing around,” you muttered under your breath. Still, your heart started to pound.
Turning, you scanned the lot and caught a glimpse of something—or someone—standing just beyond the reach of the nearest streetlight. A figure, tall and unmistakable in black-and-white stripes, tilted its head at you.
The Miles County Clown.
Your stomach dropped, and a shaky laugh escaped your lips.
“Okay, very funny. You almost got me,” you called out, though your voice wavered. “Who put you up to this? Alan? Because I swear—”
The figure stepped forward, revealing more of himself under the dim light. The clown’s pale, corpse-like face and blackened eyes met yours, and he grinned, his sharpened teeth glinting in the light.
This wasn’t a costume.
Your blood turned to ice as the realization slammed into you like a freight train.
That wasn’t someone dressed as Art the Clown.
That was Art the Clown.
Your knees locked, your breath caught in your throat. You’d read the stories, seen the reports. You knew what this thing did to people, and the fact that he was standing there, grinning at you like you were the funniest joke he’d ever heard, made you want to scream.
Art didn’t move for a moment. He just stared, his head bobbing slightly from side to side as if deciding what to do with you. Then, to your horror, he raised a hand and waved.
Like you were old friends.
You forced yourself to take a step back, your heart hammering against your ribs.
“H-hello,” you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper. “I-I don’t want any trouble, okay?”
Art’s grin widened, and he pulled out his tiny black hat, placing it on his head with exaggerated flair. Then he gave you an overdramatic bow, one hand sweeping out to the side like he was performing on stage.
You didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
“Look,” you said, your voice trembling, “I don’t know what you’re doing here, but I’m not—I’m not gonna bother you, okay? Just… just leave me alone.”
Art straightened up and clapped his hands silently, his shoulders shaking with laughter you couldn’t hear. Then he pointed at you, then at himself, and made a heart shape with his hands.
Oh, God. He wasn’t leaving.
He took a step closer, and you instinctively backed up until your back hit the door of your trailer. Your mind raced, desperately trying to remember everything you’d read about him.
He loved theatrics.
He didn’t speak.
He enjoyed playing with his victims before…
You swallowed hard, your chest tightening.
But… he wasn’t attacking you.
Not yet, at least.
Art’s expression suddenly brightened, like he’d just remembered something. Reaching into his bag, he rummaged around for a moment before pulling out a crumpled flyer—your movie poster. He held it up triumphantly, pointing at your face on the poster and then at you, nodding excitedly.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you muttered under your breath. He recognized you.
He tapped the poster again, then gave you a thumbs-up, his grin widening to impossibly creepy proportions. He was… a fan?
The absurdity of the situation almost made you laugh, but fear kept you frozen.
“Uh, thanks,” you managed to croak. “That’s… nice of you.”
Art clapped his hands again, silently applauding. Then, without warning, he pointed at your ankle, mimed tripping, and fell flat on his back with an exaggerated thud, his legs kicking in the air.
You blinked. He was… reenacting one of your scenes.
It was so surreal, so bizarre, that for a moment, your fear gave way to utter confusion. “What… what are you doing?”
Art sprang back up like a jack-in-the-box and gave you a smug little shrug, as if to say, What can I say? I’m hilarious.
Despite every instinct screaming at you to run, you found yourself rooted in place, too terrified to move but too intrigued to look away. Art was watching you closely now, his head tilted, his expression almost… expectant.
“Uh, great performance,” you said weakly, hoping to appease him. “Really… uh… really nailed it.”
His grin stretched even wider, and he mimed taking a bow again.
Then he reached into his bag.
You tensed, your breath catching as you braced yourself for whatever horrifying weapon he was about to pull out. But instead, he produced a handful of fake flowers, the kind that squirted water, and held them out to you.
You stared at them, then at him. Your hands shook as you slowly took the flowers, half expecting them to explode or spray acid or something equally horrific. But they didn’t.
“…Thanks?” you said hesitantly.
Art gave you a cheerful nod, then pointed at the poster again, tapping your face and giving you another thumbs-up.
It hit you then—he wasn’t here to hurt you. Not tonight, anyway. He was excited to see you, like a fan meeting their favorite celebrity.
That realization didn’t make him any less terrifying, but it gave you a tiny sliver of hope. Maybe, just maybe, if you kept playing along, you could get out of this alive.
“Well, it’s been… uh, great meeting you,” you said cautiously, clutching the fake flowers like a lifeline. “But I should probably… you know, get going.”
Art’s grin faltered slightly, and he tilted his head, looking almost disappointed.
“Um… maybe I’ll see you around?” you added quickly, your stomach twisting as the words left your mouth.
He brightened at that, nodding enthusiastically. Then, with one final bow, he turned and skipped off into the darkness, his bag swinging at his side.
You didn’t move until you were sure he was gone. Then you bolted into your trailer, locking the door and sinking to the floor with the flowers still clutched in your hands.
Your heart pounded in your chest as you tried to process what had just happened.
You’d just met the Miles County Clown.
And somehow, you were still alive.
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silentscrying · 1 day ago
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🎸 out of my mind ! 💿 track three: something about a beat
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guitarist!ino x drummer!reader
summary: it's the annual battle of the bands at the fix, your college campus's iconic live music bar, and this year you're taking the stage as the drummer for indie rock group cursed technique. you know the competition is strong, but no part of you is ready for lead singer and guitarist takuma ino. you lock eyes at the edge of the stage, and something starts—something that might make you feel alive even more than the beat of the drums.
warnings: language, hopeless stupid pining, alcohol, mentions of deceased parent, maki is Fed Up, anxiety, unbearably cute dogs. || sfw. 9k words.
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“OKAY, IT’S UP,” Nobara says, grinning at you over her laptop. You’re sprawled across the living room at Takuma’s place, surrounded by a random combination of your band and his while others are in classes. After spending last night mixing the single, Takuma helped Nobara set up an artist profile for the band, and now your music is available on streaming services. Just like that.
“That’s so weird,” you say, grinning as you pull up Spotify on your phone. Next Fix by Cursed Technique. Strange to see your face on there, a photo taken of all of you by some freshman when you last performed at The Fix. Nobara sends the link in your group chat, and Toge responds within seconds.
freak no. 1: FAME freak no. 1: FORTUNE freak no. 1: wait it’s not opening freak no. 1: nvm i’m just stupid
“Does he ever pay attention in class?” Nobara mutters. Maki snorts.
Yuta is also in class, but that means he’s locked in, all his devices on Do Not Disturb. You don’t think Toge’s turned DND on a single time in his life.
“I’m going to Kinji’s!” Kirara shouts from the front entryway, and Yuji leaps to his feet and disappears down the hall, barreling back out of his room seconds later.
“Wait! Can you give this to Panda while you’re there?” He hands her a drive, and Kirara rolls her eyes and takes it.
“You need to slow down every once in a while,” she says, ruffling Yuji’s hair. “Okay, bye. I’ll be back in a few hours.” The dogs follow her to the door and return the living room when she’s gone, curling up on either side of Megumi, who’s busy writing some paper in the corner.
“What was that?” Nobara asks.
“Demo drive for the radio station,” Takuma says. “Panda plays our stuff sometimes. I bet he’d play yours, too.”
“That’d be sick,” Nobara says approvingly. She turns to bother Megumi, poking at him until he takes his headphones off and talks to her, and Yuji strolls into the room and flops down directly on the floor.
“Comfy?” you ask, poking him with a socked foot.
“Mm. Yeah.”
“Ah, look what you did, Kugisaki,” Megumi says, and you look up to see Shiro trotting toward you with her tail wagging, having abandoned her post at her owner’s side.
“That was not my fault! You’re the one who moved.”
“Because you kept poking me!”
You immediately slide off the couch onto the floor, letting Shiro sit in your lap. “Um, excuse me,” Takuma says, offended. You crane your neck to look up at him behind you on the couch. His face is lit up by his computer as he works on a string of code he tried (and failed) to explain to you, and there’s laughter in his eyes despite the affronted tone of his voice.
“Favorite,” you inform him with a wide, cheeky smile. He very maturely sticks his tongue out at you.
“Toge message,” Nobara informs you all, reading off her phone. “He says omg we have four listeners do you think they’re writing slutty fanfiction about us already.” She glances at you. “Petition to remove him from the chat—oh, look, he started sending the wolf memes again.”
Hanging out like this has become natural so quickly you almost forget you haven’t been friends with Shibuya Incident for ages. You feel almost as much at home in the tapestry-covered living room here as you do in the plant-filled kitchen of your own house down the street.
Maki checks her watch, sighing. “We should get going soon. The guys will be back in half an hour.” Then you have rehearsal, even though you’re not one of the three bands performing tomorrow night. When you do take the stage next week, you want to be ready.
Nobara is trying to read Megumi’s texts over his shoulder, which isn’t working out well for her, and he tells Maki, “Yes, please, take your invasive little gremlin home.” He puts his hand right on Nobara’s face and pushes her away, and she screeches and tries to tackle him, but he’s already sitting in a beanbag chair in the corner, so it doesn’t really do much except make Kuro jump on top of them both.
You glance up at Takuma again, still stroking Shiro’s fur while the others start to stand, ready to head home. “You rehearsing today too?”
“I’d hope so,” he shrugs.
“Yes, dipshit, in two hours. If you ever read the group chat,” Megumi says.
Takuma doesn’t seem fazed by Megumi’s irritation and just shrugs. “We have a new song for tomorrow.”
“You didn’t tell me!” You poke at his knee in retribution for his secrecy. “I wanna hear it!”
“You will,” he says. “Tomorrow.”
“Skipper, help, I don’t wanna walk our gremlin home by myself,” Maki calls from the door, and you reluctantly pat Shiro on the head and stand. She follows you to the entryway and sniffs at you while you cram your feet into your sneakers.
“Maki Zenin.” Nobara turns up her nose and crosses her arms over her chest. “If you hated me so much, why didn’t you just say so?”
“Bye!” Yuji shouts from the living room, and you all call out varying goodbyes and noncommittal sounds before making your way out the door and down the block, the afternoon air chilly against your cheeks.
Nobara waits all of ten seconds before spinning around and walking backward, grinning at you mischievously. “I bet Ino wrote a song about you.”
“Oh my god. Shut up,” you laugh. “He didn’t.” You can’t imagine you’ve given him all that much to work with. What would he write, that you like coffee and drums and Megumi’s dogs?
“Why else wouldn’t he show you? Don’t you guys text each other song lyrics like the little romantic fucks you are?” Your face is flaming, and you’re suddenly very grateful for the cool of the wind against your skin. The idea of him writing a song about you plants something weird in your gut—not something bad, just something unexpected and warm and blooming.
You try not to show it and your friends see right through you, Nobara turning back to skip up the drive with a satisfied grin and Maki rolling her eyes at the both of you.
“I’m gonna write a song, too,” Nobara declares, unlocking the door and pushing her way inside. “Skipper and Ino, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S—”
This time, you and Maki speak in tandem. “Shut up!”
“There’s a joke here,” Gojo says, tapping both of his index fingers together while he thinks. “About being a drummer and a journalist. Something about a beat.”
You laugh, jotting another note on the lined paper of your small spiral notebook. “I hate to tell you, but I’ve heard that one before.”
You’re not sure features qualifies as a specific beat, more of a broad category, but your staff isn’t nearly large enough to assign people to smaller specialties. Plus, it’s a college publication, designed for experimentation and growth. Nobody wants to be boxed in yet. That’ll come later, out in the monotony of the real world, and you’ll be confined to some hyperspecific beat like neighborhood crime or high school basketball.
“No!” Gojo cries, dragging his hands down his face like it’s the end of the world. “I can’t believe somebody plagiarized me before I even said it.”
“That’s not how that works,” Utahime cuts in dryly, sliding three shots across the counter to the waiting group of sophomores and then effortlessly throwing together another cocktail.
Gojo leans toward you, shadowing out your notes, and stage-whispers, “You see what I have to put up with?”
You do, actually, see what Utahime has to put up with. She long ago put down a line of blue painter’s tape to divide her side of the bar from Gojo’s, and she preaches frequently that there will be dire consequences if he crosses it.
Of course, he crosses it at every opportunity, and here he is, still.
It’s also just how the two bartenders split up the work, the customers, and you write that down too, that it’s an effective division of labor. “Don’t read my notes,” you tell Gojo as he squints at your writing upside down. “It’ll wreck the journalistic integrity.” He sticks out his bottom lip in a pout that reminds you violently of Toge, who’s taking photos of Utahime as she works.
You glance over to the stage, where Angel is performing the last number of her set, a bouncy, belty song that you recognize from a video she posted earlier this week. The crowd loves it, dancing around and singing along, but still, you think she’ll have a tougher time making it through as the only solo artist remaining in the competition.
You whoop and cheer as she hits her last note, holding it for an ungodly amount of time, and Gojo eventually has to abandon his teasing to do his job. When Toge thinks he’s got enough photos, the two of you slip back into the crowd, Panda commentating on the change of artist as you catch up to your friends.
“And now, here’s your alt rock duo, your boys, the Kamos,” he says as you come to a stop beside Yuta. “Give it up!”
Nobara very loudly gives it up.
“Hi.” Yuta nudges you. “How’s the reporting going?”
“Good.” Noritoshi and Choso settle in on stage, tuning their guitar and bass and making girls swoon in the front row but somehow remaining entirely oblivious to it. “You’re not going home tomorrow, right?”
Yuta shakes his head. This weekend is fall break, which just means that there were no classes today. You spent the first day of your three-day weekend cramming for midterms.
Toge’s heading out after this and Nobara will leave early in the morning, but Maki and Yuta will be here for the weekend. You wonder about Takuma and his band, but you can’t ask right now—they’re all backstage, waiting to go on after the Kamos.
The boys in question, when they’re not doing covers, have incredibly nonsensical song names that have little to nothing to do with their lyrics. The first track of theirs you ever heard was called Song About the Time My Dog Got Lost for Three Hours.
“Okay,” Choso says after their cover of a song by The Smiths. “This one’s called Please Don’t Tell Your Mom I Was At Your House Past Curfew.”
He and Noritoshi then proceed to play the most upbeat, energizing alt rock shit you’ve ever heard. You love these guys, and the crowd does too, the way they don’t take themselves too seriously but they’re genuinely talented. But it’s making you nervous for Takuma and his band, because only one group goes on tonight. Only one.
No, you think, shrugging it off. They got this.
When Shibuya Incident finally walks on stage, the ensuing roar of applause before they even do anything eases whatever worries you might have had. They were slotted at the end of tonight’s set for a reason. Everyone loves them.
Without prelude, they launch into a song you recognize from their EP, a fast-paced track with a pretty simple chord progression that gets entirely flipped on its head in the bridge. You let Yuta spin you around as you dance with the rest of the crowd, the lights and sound washing over you. Yuji’s in his element, Kirara is fucking killing it, and Megumi—as always—is the rock the band stands on, unerring tempo and steady presence keeping everyone on track.
After the song finishes with a crazy riff from Kirara, and the crowd takes a minute to freak out and then slowly wind down, Takuma grabs the mic to address the audience.
“Hi again,” he says, scanning the clusters of people from his place on the low stage. His gaze lands on you and your friends, and he smiles a little wider. “That was Godspeed. We’re gonna slow it down a bit for our next song. It’s a new one. We’re calling it Curious.”
Nobara practically launches herself over Toge to get to you and shake you by the shoulders. “What did I say?” she hisses.
“Oh my god,” you say, shoving her off. “They haven’t even started yet.” But you look back at Takuma to find he hasn’t stopped looking at you.
To your surprise, the instrumentals don’t start first. Most of Shibuya Incident’s music opens with a riff or a fill or at least four bars of introduction. But this time, Takuma leans into the mic and starts singing, just a low “ooooh,” and the rest of the band comes in one by one—Megumi, then Kirara, then Yuji. Kirara’s harmonizing on a higher note, and the effect is a slow, dissonant build that makes you lock in, all anticipation.
Then Takuma tugs the mic from the stand and sings,“I see your eyes, curious, curious, you wanna know why the sky’s so goddamn blue. I hear your voice, curious, curious, you’re asking me if I’d ever fall for you.”
And as you listen, Nobara’s smile just gets wider and wider, and Takuma keeps making fleeting eye contact with you, and you realize abruptly that she was right.
This song is about you.
Takuma’s said it to you before, in passing, how he likes the way you look at the world—through a journalist’s lens, curious about how everything works, always searching for unseen answers.
“Wish I could see my life like you do,” he and Kirara sing in unison. “Wish I could walk the streets each night… wonderin’ if the full moon sees you, but I just keep lookin’, lookin’ down at the time.”
You’re transfixed, just like the first night you saw Takuma perform live, and you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the stage if you tried. Someone should write a story about him, you think. This man could be on the cover of Rolling Stone and you wouldn’t question it.
God, you’re so far gone, aren’t you?
When the set is over, the last song finishing with a long, drawn-out chord, Takuma thanks the crowd and hands the mic off to Panda to take over. As the band disappears one by one into the backstage area, he lays out the voting process.
“The voting period will last ten minutes, assuming no technical difficulties,” he says. “QR codes, as usual, are posted around the bar. If you’re a competitor, you can’t vote. Make sure you’re logged into your .edu accounts or you won’t be able to access the form…”
Your fingers are tapping nervously at your thighs, the crowd around you already glued to their phone screens. The band isn’t back out on the floor yet—Panda will call all three artists up at the end of the voting period and announce the finalist live.
Sweat is starting to pool in the palms of your clammy hands, and you wipe it on your jeans, anxious. To you, there’s no question. But it’s not up to you.
“Relax,” Yuta says, putting a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “It won’t even be close, Skip.”
After the longest ten minutes of your life, Hana Kurusu, the Kamos, and Shibuya Incident join Panda back on stage, a dramatic spotlight bouncing between each artist as Panda draws out the announcement. “And the artist from tonight moving on to the finals in two weeks is…”
“Just say it,” Maki huffs beside you, and Yuta chuckles and nudges her with a shoulder. She tries to hide the slight upturn of her lips, but that’s not going to slide past you.
You’ll tease her later. For now—
“Shibuya Incident!”
The reaction is explosive, both on the floor and the stage. Yuji practically leaps onto Kirara’s back, and Takuma’s face goes slack in surprise before a shy smile works its way across his spotlit features, Megumi being his nonchalant, unaffected self in the midst of it all. Nobara is screaming, and you’re yelling at the top of your lungs, Toge whooping and snapping photos as the Kamos and Hana crowd the band, congratulating them on the victory.
Takuma looks out into the crowd again and you wave, smiling unabashedly, so fucking proud and excited and thinking maybe, maybe, if you make it too, you’ll be facing off against each other, and wouldn’t that be something?
Maybe you shouldn’t be so thrilled. He’s the competition, after all.
But if he wins for going up there and singing curious, curious with his eyes locked on yours, you suppose it wouldn’t be all that bad.
Most of Saturday passes in a barrage of classwork and inconsistent, snacky meals in between, the diet of a harried college student, ramen and chips and whatever actual food Yuta leaves for you in the fridge. He’s back from work by three, and Maki wraps up her own work around the same time you do, late afternoon creeping into evening. The three of you are curled up in the living room, the TV on while Yuta and Maki try to pretend they’re not looking at each other.
You need to get them alone.
you: are you busy takuma: not at all takuma: what’s up? you: mind if i crash your house?
You glance up and swear Yuta has somehow, in the last two seconds, moved closer to Maki on the couch.
you: i think yuta and maki need some ~ALONE TIME~ takuma: TEA takuma: sorry kirara told me to stop saying that in response to everything that happens ever takuma: it’s fun tho
“I’m going to Takuma’s,” you announce, and Maki raises a brow at you.
“Again?”
“Sue me for having friends.”
Yuta’s brows crease a bit at the word friends, but he doesn’t comment. With a furtive glance back, you grab your shoes and slip out the door, successfully leaving Maki and Yuta alone in the house for an indeterminate amount of time.
Please, you think. One of them has to make a fucking move soon.
Takuma answers the door before you can knock. “Hey.”
“No pups today?” you ask as you step past him into the entryway, kicking off your shoes.
“Sadly,” Takuma says. “Fushiguro took ‘em with him, wherever he went. Ah, man. Did you only come over for them?” His tone is teasing as he closes the front door behind you, trading the October cold for the warmth of the house. “Afraid I’m a letdown.”
“Takuma,” you scold at his self-deprecation. “You’re basically an excited puppy yourself, so—”
“Hey!” he squawks, and then thinks about it and tilts his head, conceding. “Fine. Maybe. Yeah, okay.”
“What have you been up to?” you ask as the two of you make your way to the living room.
“Procrastination. Guitar instead of homework, mostly. You?”
“Same,” you sigh. “Well, not the guitar part. But I should have been way further ahead on my homework by now.” You shrug. You’ll get it done; you always do.
You settle in easily on the couch, and the two of you boot up the Wii and play a few rounds of Mario Kart because someone left the disc in. And when you’ve both beaten each other enough times to lose count, Takuma mentions something about your single and you realize you haven’t checked the stats.
“You can see more on a computer,” he says, and you follow him up to his room, where he cedes control of the device to you. You pull up the artist profile and grin at the steady upward climb of listeners. It’s not a ton, but this only went up on Thursday.
“We haven’t even done anything to promote this,” you admit, spinning in Takuma’s desk chair to face him. “I don’t even know how people are finding it.”
He immediately looks down, which means he knows something. You nudge him with your foot. “What? What does that face mean? Takuma.”
“I maybe gave Panda a drive of the mix,” he shrugs, talking fast like the meaning of the words might elude you if he mumbles enough. “And he maybe played it at the radio station earlier today. Several times.”
A wave of affection crashes into you so fast that you jump up and throw your arms around him without thinking, laughing into his shoulder. “You didn’t have to do that!” You pull back, grinning. “That was really sweet. Thank you. Seriously.”
“Ah, it was nothin’.” He reaches up to scratch at the back of his neck, a gesture you’ve come to recognize as self-conscious.
“Not nothing,” you say softly. He smiles.
After a moment, he glances at the window and seems to come to a decision. “Hey,” he says.
“Hey yourself.”
“Wanna go out on the roof?”
You blink, processing the words, instinctively looking to his window. You’ve never really realized it before, but it opens out onto a flat expanse of shingles, a perfect lookout right outside Takuma’s bedroom.
Your grin is answer enough, and he unlatches the window and pulls it open. He glances back at you, up and down, and you feel yourself blush before you realize he’s taking in what you’re wearing. He grabs a thick jacket from the closet and tosses it to you, then shrugs one on himself and leads the way, gripping the window frame with one hand and pulling himself outside. After a moment of consideration, he reaches back in and grabs his acoustic guitar by the neck from its place against the wall, pulling it out with him.
When the window shuts behind you, you’re immediately grateful for the protection of the extra layer. Even with your hands balled in the sleeves of your hoodie, it’s chilly out here.
You’re surprised by how much of the campus you can see spread out in the distance. It’s early evening, but the days are getting shorter, the sun a misleading blaze of heat in the otherwise cold hour.
“This,” you say, “is fucking awesome.”
“Right? I called dibs on the room as soon as we toured. For this.” He grins, leaning back on his palms, legs spread out in front of him. You lie back on the roof, letting the cool surface seep through your hood, staring up at the sky.
“So Maki and Yuta,” he says, shaking his head fondly. “Are they finally a thing?”
“I don’t know, but if they’re gonna do anything about it, it’s not gonna be while anyone else is home.” You shrug, or at least do whatever approximation of shrugging you can when you’re bundled in a bulky hoodie and jacket and lying on a roof.
Honestly, Yuta and Maki are some of your favorite people on this planet, and you can’t imagine anyone else who really deserves them. They’re the de facto mom and dad of your group—as in, Yuta is the band mom and Maki’s the gruff father who won’t admit his affection for the pet he didn’t want to get but ended up loving anyway.
“Man, I’m glad I wasn’t around when Kirara and Hakari were in their pining phase,” Takuma chuckles. He pulls his legs in, sitting cross-legged, and picks up the guitar, idly tuning it as he speaks. “Then there’s Itadori, probably picks up girls everywhere he goes and has never once realized it.”
“What about Megumi?” You let your head loll to the side, looking at Takuma with the guitar settled in his lap.
“Fushiguro? I don’t know, man, he doesn’t tell us anything. He has like, resting yearning face. I’ve got no idea. I don’t even know where he is right now, just that he’s supposed to be back really late.”
“That means the dogs will be back?” you say hopefully.
Takuma shakes his head, strumming another chord, and another, fingers moving deftly across the frets. “I’m not enough for you, huh?”
“I said no such thing.”
He plucks out a happy little melody on the guitar, looking at you. “Wanna learn?”
You sit up, your hood falling back off your head in the process. “Really?”
In answer, he hands you the guitar, scooting closer to you to show you where to place your fingers. You’ve been around your bandmates enough to know the basics, but you let him teach you anyway, giggling a little when he guides you through a three-chord progression and says, “Damn, you’re a natural.”
He leans back and stares at the sky, listening to you play. Eventually you add a few other basic chords into the mix, varying your strumming patterns, already feeling the strain in your fingertips from the unfamiliar press of the strings.
“So,” you say, still idly messing around on a G chord. Takuma props himself up on his elbows, looking over at you. “What was the incident in Shibuya? Have you been to Shibuya?”
He snorts. “Nope. Honestly, it was more to make people ask the question. You know in the Marvel movies, how Hawkeye and Black Widow are always talking about Budapest?”
“And nobody knows what the hell happened there,” you say, laughing. “Ah. I see.”
“I’ve never even been to Japan,” Takuma admits. “Fushiguro has, though. Maybe he had an incident in Shibuya. Who knows?”
G, C, D. D, C, G. You play the chords over and over, strumming softly, slowly, letting your finger catch on each of the strings, then five of them, then four.
“This is a really nice guitar.”
“Yeah.” There’s a beat of silence that makes you glance up, weighted differently than the usual pauses in conversation. Takuma is sitting up now, knees pulled loosely to his chest. “Was my dad’s.”
“He taught you to play,” you remember aloud, recalling your conversation in the coffee shop. But now you’re hung up on that word: was. Part of you doesn’t want to ask, but part of you feels like his words are a sort of quiet invitation, like he wants to tell you, but doesn’t want to force it. “I… is he…?”
“He died when I was twelve,” Takuma admits, eyes fixed on the sky. “Uh, car accident. It was stupid, some issue with the other guy’s car. Couldn’t stop it.” You’ve never heard his voice like this before, taut, oddly thin. Carefully, gently, you set the guitar on the roof beside you, watching him.
“Were you…”
“In the car?” Takuma sniffs. “Ah. Yeah.”
“Oh,” you breathe, and that’s what it is, more of a breath than a word. “I—Takuma…”
When he laughs, there’s no humor in it. It’s a hollow kind of chuckle, one that says everything he can’t. “It’s why I learned to skate, actually,” he says quietly, not meeting your eyes. “I’d get everywhere that way. I didn’t—want to drive, I guess. Got my license late and everything. I think people thought I was just a slacker.”
Whatever words you might scrounge up feel inadequate for a grief this large. You don’t want to pity him, and you don’t want to dismiss him, and that’s always the problem with hard conversations, isn’t it? What a line to walk.
“You’re not a slacker,” you say eventually, and he raises a brow at you. “I mean, maybe you procrastinate coding projects to a worrying extent, but you always get it done.” You smile thinly. “You don’t give up in any way that matters, Takuma. I like that about you.”
He chuckles. “Nanami said something like that, once.” His eyes go far-away again, just for a second. “He’s kind of the closest thing… like… I don’t know. I’ve known Nanami for a really long time. He was my dad’s friend. And I guess he sort of became a father figure, after…”
He shrugs. “It’s probably a big part of why I decided to go here. That, and it’s not too far from my mom’s. I don’t know that she’d have been thrilled if I went somewhere farther.”
“You’re not home,” you say carefully, a question but not question. “For break?”
“She’s on a business trip,” he says. “So not much point. But I’ll see her at Christmas, at least.”
For a while the silence stretches out comfortably between you, like a weighted blanket. You can’t ignore it, but it isn’t unwelcome. At some point you scooted closer to him, and now you sit side by side, only the layers of your jackets separating you.
“Thank you for telling me,” you say eventually, soft, unwilling to break the quiet. He nods.
“You didn’t go home either,” he points out, an unspoken question in the spaces between words. “Is it just ‘cause you’re from so far away, or…”
“Yeah. A Friday off didn’t feel like enough of a break to warrant a flight back.” But that’s not all of it. His silence tells you he knows it, too. He’s been so candid with you all night. You can share this part of yourself, you decide.
There’s something about Takuma, anyway, that makes you want to tell him things. You want to know him, and you want him to know you—you now, here, at school, but also you there, home, in the past.
“I haven’t been home since July,” you admit, hugging your knees to your chest, mirroring him. “My town is… small. I liked it when I was little. But the older I got the more I started to feel, just—I don’t know, stifled?”
Your hometown used to feel huge, like you could explore it forever on your Razor scooter and never find all its secrets. But you grew, and the town didn’t grow with you, and suddenly you were standing outside your high school realizing you knew every corner of the self-proclaimed suburban city, every street and coffee shop and alley. You’ve always been curious. And at some point, there wasn’t anything left in that place for you to be curious about.
“I love my home. I love my parents. It’s just… I needed to get out. I don’t think they ever really understood that.”
It’s easier to admit things when you’re looking straight ahead like this, out over the lines and curves of buildings, picking out street lamps, watching a few stray cars make their way around slow corners.
“Is it what you wanted it to be?” he asks quietly. “Here, I mean.” He nods out to the vast stretch of campus, spread across the city. So many corners you’ve been here years and haven’t found them all.
Campus is weird on break, you muse, looking out over the darkness. A whole parallel world for you to explore, the shadowed version of the place. A video game map on single-player, a dead server. Hardly any lights on in the windows, no kids out on the street. Like a ghost town. But it still doesn’t feel empty to you. There’s so much promise in it.
“Yeah,” you answer after a moment, soft. “Yeah, I think it is.”
A ghost town that isn’t lonely, somehow. You could write a song about it, you think. Friends with all the dead in my ghost town. The phrase plays itself out in your head, and it sounds like something moodier than your band usually goes for. It sounds like Shibuya Incident.
You wonder if this is what it means to be in a relationship—not a romantic one, necessarily, but a friendship, or any kind of bond between two creative people. If it’s this, the sharing of intellectual property with another person to the extent that their voice and yours start to blend.
It’s in the way Nobara can finish your sentences when you’re throwing out potential verses, scrambling for rhymes. How Toge and Yuta can anticipate each other’s movements, match chord progressions without talking about them. How Maki slips into your tempo seamlessly, every single time.
And now your lyrics sound like something his band would play. Maybe Takuma’s songwriting will start sounding like yours, too.
You don’t think you’d mind.
“Can I tell you something?” Takuma murmurs after a moment, sounding hesitant.
You rest a cheek on your knees, hands clasped together in front of your shins, facing him. “Mhm.”
“That song last night,” he whispers, and he’s not looking at you, just staring out at the rapidly darkening campus. “It was about you. And how you—I don’t know, the way you look at things. Like they’re always so full of potential. I wish I could do that. You just see things and want to know more. I like… watching you, being curious.” He pauses for a beat and then quickly adds, “Not in like, a creepy way! Just—I don’t know.”
A chuckle slips through your lips against your will, the darkness hopefully hiding the color in your cheeks. Maybe you can blame it on the cold. “Watching?” you ask, teasing. “I can’t imagine I’m all that intriguing. There’s a lot of cool people around here, y’know.”
“Skip,” he murmurs, and now his eyes are locked on yours. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you.”
Every nerve in your body is hyperaware of his proximity, and his hand reaches up to cup your jaw, the touch ghosting over you, barely there, hesitant. A nonverbal question. Is this okay?
You lean into the warmth, letting his breath wash over you, mingling with your own in the space between your lips, smaller and smaller and smaller.
He’s watching you, closely, giving you a chance to pull away. So many words exchanged tonight, but you don’t need any for this.
You don’t pull away.
It’s slow at first, and soft, and hesitant. The shingles dig into the heel of your hand as you lean forward on one arm, a grainy feeling on your fingertips, in the grooved imprints left by the guitar strings. You find your free hand moving up to his shoulder, pushing, guiding him down until his back is pressed against the roof and you’re over him, lips locked with his. You look at him, and he’s so full of potential. You want to know everything about him, you want to know how he works, you want to ask questions. And you do, with your tongue along the seam of his lips, and your hand tangled in his hair, and his breath mixing with yours in the air. It’s near full dark now, feeling later than it really is, evening in autumn.
You’re not cold anymore.
He deepens the kiss, body coming up to meet yours, and you feel like maybe this roof is the top of the whole world, because how could you ever feel higher than this?
“Takuma,” you murmur, and you kiss him again, and you don’t think you’ve ever felt this way before, but you’ll do maybe anything in the world to feel this way again.
And then a sharp, deep sound makes you jump, scrambling to sit up on the shingles, breathing heavy from the kiss and the noise. Did that come from inside or out?
“What—”
“Oh, crap,” Takuma groans, pulling open the window. “Someone’s home.” He looks back at you, cheeks flushed from the cold or the kiss or both, looking a little helpless, a little apologetic, and you can’t help the small laugh that bursts from you at the absurdity of the situation. You feel like a teenager getting caught by your parents.
“We should…” He nods toward the window. You hand him the guitar, then crawl back over to the window and slip inside after him, the warmth a stark relief from the temperature you’ve gotten so used to. Your heart is a jackhammer, rapidly pecking away at the once-stable structure of yourself.
You kissed him.
You kissed Takuma.
Your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you pull it out with still-cold hands.
utah: [1 Image Attachment] utah: dinner?
Admittedly, the pasta does look amazing, and your stomach grumbles as if on cue.
“I should go,” you say awkwardly, holding up the phone for Takuma to see.
“Uh, yeah, uh—for sure, no problem, I should go see what’s up down there anyway,” he says after a beat of hesitation. “I’ll see you, uh…?”
“Around?” you finish, laughing slightly.
“Yeah,” he echoes with an amused half-smile as you make your way down the stairs. “Around.”
You’re freaking out.
It’s 4:31 on Monday afternoon, you’ve been listening to the same song on repeat for an hour, and you’re freaking the fuck out.
After Saturday night, you didn’t talk about it. You kissed him on the roof and your heart turned into a hummingbird and you were warm all over, and then the front door slammed and you nearly jumped out of your skin, and Megumi was back early and Takuma had no idea why, and you pet the dogs and then slipped out, wanting to give them their space.
And you haven’t talked about it. You haven’t had time. Sunday was a mess of cramming for midterms and your housemates returning from break and you threw yourself into your studies and tried not to remember, but now…
The stupid fucking switch in the back of your brain has flipped itself on and you can’t turn it off, all worry and criticism and hypothetical worst-case scenarios and you’re giving too much too fast, Skipper, you know better than this!
How many people in your tiny town fell in love young and grew to resent each other? How many of your high school friends grew up with divorced parents? How many breakups have you seen in your two and a half years at this university, how many tears and shouting matches in public halls, how many friend groups falling apart because two people fell in and out of love?
The thing is, you know you’re panicking about nothing. Takuma hasn’t asked anything of you. It was just a kiss. He is not your boyfriend. This is not a contract.
But if you talk about it, it could be, and you don’t understand why that scares you so much. Do you have commitment issues? What the fuck is your problem?
You probably wouldn’t have a problem at all, if you’d just had the time Saturday night to figure out what the kiss meant. But now that a whole day has passed and you haven’t seen him and you don’t know for sure, your mind keeps wandering down paths it should have stayed away from.
What if it’s a friends with benefits situation and you’ve just read too much into it? Maybe this is all he wants, making out, spending late nights together getting physical. Maybe that’s all. A heated makeout session on a roof doesn’t mean he feels the way you do. And do you even know how you feel? Fucking hell.
It’s the anxiety talking, the more logical part of you says, the part that sounds an awful lot like Maki. Your friends aren’t around to tell you how stupid you’re being, so the only texts you and Takuma have sent since Saturday night are playlists and song lyrics skirting around whatever truths you’re trying and failing to articulate.
Do I Wanna Know floats from the speaker on your desk, your phone next to your head on the bed, facedown and dormant. Do I wanna know if this feeling goes both ways?
Your door slams open and you jump up, whirling around to find Maki with her arms crossed, leaning on the frame. “Alright,” she says. “That’s the tenth time I’ve heard that godforsaken song. What the fuck is up with you?”
When you don’t respond, she steps inside and closes the door behind her, pauses the music, and then makes herself comfortable on the edge of your bed. “Talk to me,” she says. “You’re driving yourself crazy.” The words stall in your throat, useless, stagnant things as you avoid her knowing stare, instead staring at the popcorn ceiling until it blurs.
Maki sighs and shifts entirely onto the bed, turning herself to face you.
“I didn’t know you were home,” you say lamely.
“You’re driving me crazy, Skip,” she tries, and she knows you so fucking well, because the guilt trip is exactly what dislodges all those words built up in the back of your mouth—she breaks the dam and you spill your soul onto the quilted comforter, rambling, a rush of truths and things you thought you’d hidden from yourself but you can’t anymore. And she just listens, not looking away once.
You tell her everything: that you know you catch feelings fast, too fast. That despite your bleeding heart, you haven’t really been in a long-term relationship since high school. That you think of the future, of all the places you want to go, all the things you want to do, and there’s no guy in those dreams, and the thought of restructuring the life you’ve planned out for yourself around a boy who might be temporary is too much to even fathom. That—
“I kissed him,” you say breathlessly, bordering on hysterical, and you feel so stupid, this worked up over something so small, something that should be good. “I kissed him and now it feels real and now I’m freaking out.”
“I can see that,” Maki says calmly. “Let me ask you something. What is the worst thing that could happen, if you date him and it doesn’t last?”
“I…” You chew on your bottom lip, mind spinning through every bad outcome. “He could end up hating me, Maki. I could get some crazy job and have to leave, or he would come with me and leave his whole life behind and then he’d grow to resent me and we’d just be in some kind of hellish limbo until one of us snapped. Or he could—he could leave me, or we could try long distance and he could fall in love with somebody else, or I could, or—or—”
You flounder for a second, realizing your biggest worry is the one most immediate, the one most central to your life as it exists right now.
You’ve been sitting here thinking about big-picture things that are so far out, trying to make the feeling curdling in your gut feel like a valid reaction to a major life event. But that’s not what this is.
You’re just really, stupidly, pathetically scared that Takuma kissed you and didn’t mean it.
“Or—I guess that’s not the issue. Not really,” you admit quietly, not looking at Maki. She probably already knows. She has a way of knowing exactly what’s bothering you and just asking the right questions, getting you to talk yourself out of whatever hole your anxious mind has dug.
“I—it was just a kiss. What if he doesn’t want something serious right now, and I like him this way and he just wants something casual? I can’t do casual, Maki,” you say, raking a hand through your hair. “And it could fuck up this thing we have going. Yuji and Toge get along so well, and Nobara and the boys and Kirara, and Megumi’s your cousin, and I don’t wanna cause some weird, awkward rift, you know what I mean?”
Because it’s been so good, getting to know them. You don’t want to fuck up the dynamic just because you caught feelings too fast.
Maki leans back against your wall, humming as she thinks this over. “Okay. First of all, take a step back. Do you actually think you and Ino dating or not dating or whatever would mean I stop talking to my cousin? Or Nobara to the guys?” She raises a brow at you, unimpressed. “Seriously. I love you, Skipper, but you do not have that much power. These relationships existed before you knew Ino. Yuji is incapable of having conflict with anybody. And Toge doesn’t give a fuck about awkward relationship drama, he just wants to play Smash.”
As she speaks, you can feel your heart settling back into its home in your chest. Maki always knows what to say. Always.
“Second: Let me put it this way.” She levels you with a serious look. “You are so worked up about all these incredibly hypothetical situations. If you shut this down now, if you don’t act on what happened on Saturday, you’re still going to be worked up about hypotheticals. They’ll just be different ones. I know you, Skipper, you’re gonna drown yourself in what ifs. So you have to pick the lesser evil. There’s an unknown factor either way. Which one is gonna be worse?”
You groan, faceplanting into your bedspread. In the process, your forehead must hit play on your phone, because all of a sudden Arctic Monkeys blasts through the JBL again and Maki is grabbing your phone and saying, “Absolutely not. Nope. We are done with that.”
You look up at her helplessly. “Do I wanna know?” you choke out, half-laughing. “Because if I’m taking this out of proportion, if he doesn’t feel this way and I’m just another girl he kissed—”
“You’re not,” she says firmly. “Are you kidding me? Skip. That boy kisses the ground you walk on.” She shakes her head, some mix of fondness of exasperation flashing across her face. “You already know. The question isn’t if he likes you, or if you like him. It’s whether you’re gonna let it play out or shut it down before it has a chance to.”
Your door slams open, and Nobara strolls in and puts her hands on her hips. She glares at Maki and then at you.
“Please tell me I’m wrong,” she says, and you know you’re in for it, “but I believe you both had significant relationship developments this weekend and didn’t immediately call me? What the fuck? Spill.”
Abruptly, you feel like the worst friend in the world. Not necessarily because you haven’t filled Nobara in—she hasn’t been home—but because Maki is flushing pink, and you left her alone with Yuta on purpose, and it’s Monday, and you haven’t even asked what happened.
You look at Nobara. “Close the door.”
She does, but she doesn’t sit down, choosing instead to pace the room as she speaks. “Exhibit A: the plants have name tags and the handwriting is not Yuta’s. Exhibit B: I just came from down the street and Ino is acting weird as fuck.”
You sit straight up, suddenly on high alert. “Weird how? Did he say anything?”
“No. Like, the entire time. That’s the weird as fuck part.”
You turn to Maki, trying to read her. “Okay, what happened with Yuta? Was it when I left? Because if I wasn’t obvious enough—“
“You were very obvious, thank you,” Maki says, her blush deepening. “Uh, we made dinner. As you know.”
“It was good.”
Maki is pointedly looking everywhere but at you and Nobara, gaze darting from the ceiling to the bedspread to the door, as if she might escape the conversation. You hadn’t even noticed the plant name tags. That’s maybe the most sappy gesture that’s ever come from Maki Zenin.
“Mm. Yeah. Uh,” she says, eloquently. “We might have kissed. We might be… together.”
“Maki!” you and Nobara both scream, which results in Toge nearly breaking down your bedroom door five seconds later.
“What?” he demands. He clocks Maki’s bright red face and grins widely. “Aha! Yes. Good.”
“Wh—”
“Yuta won’t look me in the eyes, so I figured. You wanted to tell us all at once?”
Maki nods sheepishly.
“Too late!” Toge says cheerfully. “And he’s not home. So we can take this quality girls’ time to—”
“You are a man.”
“That’s the first time you’ve ever said that to me,” Toge tells Nobara, hand over his heart.
She swats at him in response and flops onto your floor, and Toge drops down beside her, you and Maki leaning over the edge of your bed to see them both.
"I ate your love pasta," you tell Maki, and she groans.
"This is why I don't tell you people things."
After the appropriate appoint of freaking out about Maki and Yuta (of course I knew, I always know, Nobara says), they make you go through the whole of Saturday night in detail.
You leave out the part about Takuma’s dad. That doesn’t feel like your story to tell.
When you get to I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you, Nobara blinks at you, and the innocent expression on her face means whatever she’s about to say is anything but. “So he told you you’re not like other girls?”
“Oh my god,” you groan, dragging your hands down your face.
“Oh, shit, Skipper!” Toge nearly shouts from the floor. “We have to go, like, two minutes ago.”
“Shit!” You scramble off the bed, shoving your laptop into your bag and weaving around Nobara, who has made no move to get off the floor. You and Toge have your usual Monday night class time to do field reporting, and you’re meeting up with Geto and Utahime.
The front door clicks open and closed, and you grin at Maki, who goes red. Yuta’s home. God, you wish you could stay for this.
“Hi, Yuta! Bye, Yuta!” you call on the way out the door, patting him on the head, and Toge follows suit with a much more aggressive motion that messes up Yuta’s hair.
“Oh, hi! Um. Bye?” Yuta’s startled laugh follows you out the door, and then you’re on your way.
You’re always on your way back to The Fix, eventually.
Utahime, notably a happier person in general when Gojo’s not around, lets Toge into the back to get some photos of the storeroom. That leaves you alone with Geto, back on the same stool as last time, phone on the counter as you watch him work, talking as he goes.
“Finished inventory,” he says, typing something rapidly on his laptop, “and now it’s budgeting. And yeah, that’s about what it looks like on the day to day. What else did you want to know?”
Geto is remarkably easy to talk to. He’s soft-spoken and articulate, a good listener, and you find yourself forgetting it’s an interview after a while, lost in conversation. You learn that he studied business in school, so opening an establishment like this wasn’t much of a stretch. He handles the finances and hiring, and he’s the one working with Panda on the Battle of the Bands. Gojo and Utahime bartend, Nanami is security, and Shoko handles everything else. It’s a small team, he says, but they work.
“I wanted to be able to be home for the girls when they were growing up, and this wound up being a great way to do that, schedule-wise,” he tells you. “And now they’re here, which is great. I wouldn’t say I ever saw myself opening a bar, back in college, but now that I’m here and Shoko and I have been running the place for a while, I’m not sure where else I ever could’ve ended up, y’know?”
You nod, head propped in your hand with your elbow on the counter. “So is this the dream? The endgame?” you ask. “Think you’ll stay a while?”
“Well,” he says, closing the laptop, “I think it comes down to doing something because you love it, not because other people love that you do it. Though right now, both of those things are true, which is fortunate for me." He leans on the bar counter, head tilted as he considers his words.
"If the work makes you happy, if the people there make you feel the same way, I think that’s worth hanging on to," he says. "If I ever stop loving the work, I suppose I’ll move on. I don’t see that happening, really, but if it does, I’ll roll with it. Whatever comes after.”
“That makes sense.” You sigh, leaning back in your chair. “Man, I wish the career thing was that clear-cut now. I know I have time, but it’s weird to think about.”
“Would you ever go further than this with the band, you think?” he asks, seeming genuinely curious. “Or is the journalism thing pretty much what your heart’s set on?”
You’ve thought about it. Drumming makes you feel alive like very few other things do, but you love writing, reporting, meeting people and telling their stories. You want to go for editor-in-chief next year when Tsumiki graduates, but the reality is that you won’t have so much time for the band if you get the job. And you love your band.
Not that it’ll be the same, anyway, without Maki and Yuta. That’s something you don’t love to think about.
“I don’t know,” you confess, sheepishly realizing you’re still recording, that you’re supposed to be the one asking the questions. “I don’t think… that the band is ever necessarily going to be a professional thing. Maki and Yuta have all these big career plans. And it’s like, how much do I invest in that now, knowing it’s not… forever? When the journalism thing, the career, might be? I don’t know.”
“You know, I don’t think it matters all that much whether it’s forever,” Geto shrugs. “If it gave you what you needed at the time, wouldn’t it be worth it?”
He glances up at you, taking in the lines of your face, the tapping of your fingers against your other arm. You kind of feel like he sees something you don’t.
“Here’s some unsolicited advice, kid. On the record. Maybe life is short, maybe not. But regardless, your heart is not a finite thing.” His eyes are soft but not sad, serious but with a sort of levity that’s wise and not regretful. You think, idly, that you would find it very hard not to trust him. “If you’ve got something, love it while you have it.”
Something tells you he’s not talking about the band anymore. Or maybe that’s just you, looking for answers where there aren’t any.
“Thanks, Geto,” you say, turning off the recording. “This has been really helpful.”
Your heart is not a finite thing. And you think you’ve made up your mind.
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a/n: what is this? setup for the megumi spinoff i'm writing after this? oo (sorry he was a cockblock it was for the plot, this one AND his, hehe)
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