#i also really want to write my own version but that involves actually being able to make words
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itsjustdg · 2 years ago
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Hudson & Rex S06E07 Promo
Or: Charlie whump is coming and I can't wait!
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Still waiting for that January release date, CityTV... 👀
(Also, if any of you make GIFs, please do.)
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shipmansflannels · 1 year ago
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the yellowjackets with a younger s/o...
hey, I'm back! it didn't take me long, right? it must be because I have too many things to write on this blog, finally (and I have relatively enough time to organize my ideas for now). so I thought, I made a headcannon of the young yellowjackets, but I might as well make the adult survivors, right? anyway, maybe this is also a sign to say that I will "moderately" write stories with the adult versions, too. who cheered? anyway, without further ado, let's go! thanks for the likes on the first post, I'm glad you liked it! enjoy! sorry for any grammatical or coherence errors, english is not my first language and I'm trying to improve!
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dating a younger person with the yellowjackets women...
shauna shipman.
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okay, it's canonical that shauna would have no problem being in a relationship with someone younger.
I mean, even after adam, I think she would be willing to try.
it would be a lot easier in her mind, because dating someone younger means being able to reconnect with callie more easily too.
in shauna's mind, the two of you would be best friends based on your approximate age, regardless of how old you were.
now in terms of dating shauna, i think she would inevitably be an easy going person, to a certain extent.
overprotective as hell, of course, because she's lost so many people she loves over time (and it's become an incurable trauma in her life), that she can't bear to lose you.
she would also cook for you (rabbit meat inserted) all the time, especially if you felt like eating something special.
oh yes, the weekends would have to include callie with you, which is actually not a problem. at least not for you.
I feel like shauna hasn't been, since she was a teenager, someone who would be involved in loud parties or anything like that, so probably the perfect date for her would be watching a movie at home, wrapped in blankets with you, popcorn and soda and a solitude considerable enough for you to kiss, exchange affection and even make out (or have sex) without anyone to get in the way.
natalie scatorccio.
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natalie, like shauna, would also have no problem dating someone younger.
since her life has always been full of risks and she was never very afraid of taking most of them, I honestly think that age never made much of a difference to her, at least not after middle age.
but to be honest, dating natalie comes with a combo of even bigger problems and risks that you wouldn't be able to deal with if you didn't love her so much.
I see natalie completely using her s/o as an outlet, or a shield. after rehab, you would be like a kind of warning for her to control herself.
not that it wouldn't also include (if you're a smoker) the two of you smoking in your spare time when you're bored.
natalie would be the kind of girlfriend you could have any conversation in the world with, sober or not. she probably has and gained enough empathy to listen to you and give you accurate advice on how to live your life.
making out a lot and having sex in unusual places also counts.
in my head, despite everything, natalie is the master of serving affection. spooning with her is the best whenever you need it.
she would do anything for you. everything really. anything.
she would be able to get into a fight for you. and risking her own life as well.
lottie matthews.
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number one defender of the thesis: "age is just a number".
lottie is literally the personification of quality time and acts of service.
much because of her lonely life, her traumatic and confusing teenage years and the relationships she maintained with people over time, lottie would probably never want you to lack for anything, so any opportunity she has to be with you, she will be, even on her worst days.
arts and crafts dates with her when she is not taking care of camp green pine. you spend hours enjoying each other's company, and the whole world falls silent.
extremely overprotective of you too. just the thought of losing you because of her own insecurities leaves lottie haunted for weeks if she stops to think about it.
she is the ideal companion for anxiety and panic attacks.
she will most likely use the techniques she learned over time with you. if they work, that's another matter. (they always work because in the end it was never about lottie's gift, it was about her company).
a little submissive, a little dominant during sex. lottie is probably the typical "am I hurting you?" at the right time and even if you insist no, she will ask again just to be sure.
she's also the master spooner (I literally see you two fighting over who's going to be the big spoon every night).
taissa turner.
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ok, public life has always been a problem for taissa.
but when she's with you, she's able to forget about it for a few minutes.
despite all this freedom, taissa never lets you go out unaccompanied (without a bodyguard) or lets you read the headlines or see the commercials about her first, for fear of any criticism about your age difference.
but more than anything, it's you she turns to when the stress finally gets to her on the worst days.
I see her making any effort for you, and I see her trying to keep a fine line between you and her old life too.
this includes your relationship with sammy, which, in fact, has always been the best possible, and her friendly relationship with simone as well. taissa knows that she cannot take her son out of her ex-wife's life and, even so, she makes a point of including you in family programs with him.
she will literally spend it all on you. anything you ask for, even with a high amount of money, she will buy.
it's probably a way of apologizing about her sleepwalking and her traumas making her even remotely distant from you for some time.
like I said, you're the one she looks for when crises end up attacking her mental health. she won't sleep if you're not safe in bed with her and she makes a point of being snuggled in her arms so she doesn't have any sleepwalking attacks in the middle of the night.
dates with her are always in fancy places, but taissa doesn't care about them that much.
anniversaries, yes, she always takes you to dinner at a fancy restaurant.
but, on her days off, she would easily choose to just spend time with you watching a stupid series or a cliché movie while you sleep cuddling in the middle of it.
sex always, sex anywhere, sex on any occasion. you will never miss this, you can be sure.
van palmer.
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this nerdy woman deserves the world and a significant other who doesn't know half of her references.
you two are a match made in heaven, for sure.
van wouldn't waste time trying to get you to watch all the movies that were popular in her time. and she would use your ability to tinker with technology for the video store whenever necessary.
this woman is literally the embodiment of girlfriend material.
quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, she has mastered every love language in existence, you bet.
van will always cook for you. there are rare nights when she lets you make dinner or even order any junk food.
she would also stop whatever she was doing so she could cuddle with you whenever you needed her.
dates with van are always at the cinema, or at an amusement park, or, when she is a little less in debt, at a tourist spot around the world that you would mention that you want to see.
she has good enough memory to remember them all.
the sex is always good, always affectionate, and every now and then, when she's not tired, you'd try a quickie in the bedroom for just a little while, until you feel satisfied.
hopeless romantic until the end of time.
misty quigley.
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a walking red flag, misty would probably treat a relationship with someone younger as if it were a great adventure.
well, if you like crazy women, misty is your ideal partner.
she has a bit of a misconception about taking care of you and keeping you safe, so every now and then she'll make a point of checking your calendar and trying to monitor meetings with people in your circle, just to make sure there's no problem.
but this is also a good thing because, if there is a specific date or specific problem, she will remember it and make everyone special, in her own way.
anyway, but she's a good girlfriend too, aside from the weirdness. she has everything under control, she is attentive to you and makes a point of making your day better if it is bad.
dates with her don't need much. If it's in a cafe relaxing and talking about her day, if it's watching crime series or chatting with her about citizen detectives, she'll be happy.
sex is also good, to be honest. I see misty as the roleplay girl, so if she's in the mood to roleplay with you, you can be sure she'll do it. from weirdest to sexiest, it also depends on her day.
she achieved the feat of making a young person like a bird and want to have a bird at home. she is, at the moment, the only one of them to be able to do this masterfully.
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dreamsofbroflovski · 7 months ago
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Dude, I just— I made a Tumblr account to follow you JANDKSND and ask for a request 🤧🤧
Can we have some of Kyley-B x reader? 😵‍💫 I would like to read a cliché of the innocent girl and the bad boy who incites her to do illicit things (with smut, of course). 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Heeeeeyaaaaaa my first request! ❤️
I am so so so so sorry for taking so long to get to it. Really need to make my writing more speedy and efficient.
Hope you liked it, and once again, really damn sorry 😭😭😭
Also, a belated merry christmas/happy holidays to everyone!
Kyley-B x Reader - trinitrotoluene
Also available on ao3!
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Summary: An innocent librarian's whole views on the world - as well as her guts - are rearranged when she takes into the equation South Park's resident New Jersey asshole. And she wouldn't have it any other way.
Warnings: Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content (everyone involved is above the age of consent), Penis In Vagina Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Semi-Public Sex, Doggy Style Position
A/N: Gods was this one hard. I never imagined writing Kyley-B would be this hard. Props to everyone who has managed thus far, because this guy wrestled against me in my mind for the whole 14 pages of the Google Docs and even now that I'm posting it I'm not sure I actually won.
I tried my hardest to put together what an adult version of Jersey Kyle would be if he really donned the mantle. Hope I did him justice.
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The story of how my life changed forever was rooted in New Jersey, but happened nowhere near there.
When I applied to work at the South Park Public Library, I thought it would be an easy task. Library work in a small secluded town, in a day and age where people mostly forgot about physical books due to the convenience of Kindles or their own phones? How hard can it be? Turns out, very. The place greatly suffered from a lack of useful employees, so I ended up doing a lot of extra work that had nothing to do with what I was hired for, with no extra pay, when the salary was already not that stellar to begin with. Not a great headstart for a fresh-out-of-college English major such as myself, but it was this or the 7/11.
Days like that one kind of made the whole thing worth it, though. Summer weekends in the middle of July, when all the students were on vacation and people lacked the urge to read in favor of other activities, and the only people that would actually visit the library would be soft-spoken loners who just craved the social connection but at the same time didn’t want to chase it. In those days, I was able to just sit back on my chair at the reception counter and take full advantage of the amount of books around me, reading to my heart’s content for almost a full eight hours and getting paid for it.
Such a situation is how I found myself at that particular moment. Curled up as well as I could get in my tiny office chair, my shoes forgotten under the desk in favor of the comfort of being barefoot, yet another book in my hands that wasn’t part of my enormous ‘To Read’ list. It was all cruising up to be another quiet and peaceful day, just a few check outs and some small talk.
Except it wasn’t.
I heard the sizzling of a dynamite’s wick before seeing a full blown atomic bomb. Loud squeaky sounds of sneaker soles trudging across the hardwood, strings of profanities being spewed with each step, followed by the shocked gasps of some of the people seated nearby and their hurried movement as they got out of the way in every direction. Noise like this would usually have me kindly remind its emitter of the setting around them and beg for more silence, but as I raised my eyes from my book, I knew it would be of no use.
Already in front of the counter was one of the most obnoxious-looking men I had ever seen. His blazing curly red hair was slicked back with an obscene amount of gel on it, to the point where it made me wonder if it just started to stay that way after his showers. I couldn’t see him from the waist down, but he was wearing a loose fit wife beater, showing off the muscles of his arms in all their ‘glory’. A golden chain dangled around his neck, clearly fake, the paint already chipped in places where its links connected. His tanned skin already looked out of place in the cold town in the middle of the mountains, where its citizens were mostly pale due to never seeing enough sun to actually get a tan to begin with - but this man was just a few shades away from orange, painfully artificial, he’d stand out like a sore thumb no matter where he was.
“That’s right, you better fucking go, bitch!” The loud addition to my peaceful workplace called out angrily, looking over his shoulder, finishing up his threats on the last bypasser he could before turning his face forward again, which finally let me take a good look at his features. There I saw which had to be the only real thing about him - intense olive eyes that glinted with a fire unknown to me, pure passion and energy, the type that could either burn someone to the ground or keep them warm and safe in the winters. Right now, however, they could set the entire library ablaze by sheer feral glares alone.
I hurriedly scrambled to adjust my position in my seat and rested my book to the side of my computer. “Good afternoon and welcome to the South Park Public Library, restrooms are at the end of the first corridor to the left,” my explanation was kind and gentle, accompanied by a gesture of my hand in the general direction I spoke of.
“I don’t wanna know about no fuckin’ toilet,” the man spat, as if me merely opening my mouth to say something that was of no use to him was enough to make him angry beyond measure, “I’m here to return this.”
With an unneeded display of strength that made all the other items in the counter shake slightly, he slammed a book on it in front of me, his hand staying splayed on top of the cover, allowing me to see that his fingers were fully decked out in fake gold rings in the same fashion of his chain.
Even without seeing the full thing, I recognized that book immediately. My eyes widened. If I was to be honest, I didn’t even imagine the guy in front of me was capable of reading to begin with - and the book he brought was such difficult literature, even I struggled with it at first, so to imagine he deliberately checked that one out and allegedly read it to completion flabbergasted me.
I forced myself to blink and reel back from my shock before continuing the interaction. Get it together, I told myself mentally. My mother told me all the time to never judge a book by its cover - even if that defeated the whole purpose of book cover graphic designers to begin with -, and this was what I was doing right now; letting my prejudices get in the way of what could be a healthy interaction with a fellow bookworm.
Lightly, I placed my hands on the sides of the book and pulled it slowly towards me, letting it slide under his palm, which I avoided touching altogether lest it make him more angry. “Of course, sir,” I managed to assemble a gentle smile on my lips, trying my best to not let my previous thoughts show up on my face.
“Don’t call me sir, I’m not that old,” this complaint was slightly less persistent, but I was still not about to test his limits on it.
“Of course… Mister,” the word in that context sounded way too weird to me, but it was better than the two alternatives of either insisting on ‘sir’ or just not calling him by any title at all, “I’m just gonna need your library card, if you have it on you right now…”
His hand left the counter to retrieve something in his pocket, before swiftly passing to me a tiny rectangular piece of plastic - his library card, the old design of them at that, which meant he had it for quite a while now. My eyes narrowed as I scanned it, my brain multitasking with my fingers typing his card number on the database, and I found myself repeating the information out loud. “Alright, let’s see… Kyle Br-”
“Kyley-B,” his correction came harsh and immediate, stopping me from saying even one more letter of his government name, “And don’t you dare forget it.”
I really hadn’t. It wasn’t like I didn’t know his name, everyone knew it well - he was an infamous face in town. Originally from New Jersey and carrying with him every single terrible stereotype about the place, the man before me caused trouble wherever he went, having very little regard for anything that didn’t concern himself, and yet expecting everyone else to show him the respect he lacked for them. He had actually been in South Park longer than I did, but apparently what was said held true: you can’t take the Jersey out of someone.
“M-My apologies… Kyley-B,” I tried my best to abide by his request and use his nickname in a sentence no matter how ridiculous it sounded, while still typing on the computer to avoid enhancing his anger in any way, “It’s all set. Feel free to peruse the collection if you’d like to borrow something else.” Please don’t was the thought that came right after.
He nodded curtly, taking the card from me to put it back in his pocket, and I noticed his shoulders relaxing a little. Apparently, me being polite and understanding appeased him greatly, like he had understood that I wasn’t one of the assholes trying to get him pissed or something. For as long as I was respectful, I’d stay out of the path of destruction. I could swear I saw the intensity in his eyes shift a bit - but I avoided staring too long, both in fear of getting him angry again and in slight embarrassment at the thought that he might notice me doing that. “Thanks. I think I will.”
Leaning back in my chair and picking my book back up in my hands, I figured that was that. Kyley-B would go off somewhere looking for trouble and I’d be back to my silence and my reading. Yet I didn’t hear the same noises I had when he arrived; no cursing, no loud shoes, no nothing. When I raised my eyes again, he was still there - leaning towards me with his forearms on the counter and a curious expression on his face.
“Do you… Need any help?” I inquired, slowly placing the book on my lap and rolling the chair closer to the desk so he wouldn’t believe for a second that he didn’t have my attention.
A smirk curved his lips as he eyed me up and down. “Nah, just… Perusing.” 
Well, now that’s a word I would never hear out of the mouth of a Jersey guy.
“Okay…” My fingers nervously tapped the cover of my book. “If there’s anything I can do for you, then-”
“There is, actually,” his body swayed slightly as he shifted his weight on his feet, “Has to do with my phone. You can put your number in it.”
Another jolt of bewilderment crossed my features. Allowing myself to focus my eyes on his again, I then understood what it was I saw on them earlier. Attraction. Now that he wasn’t angry anymore, Kyley-B was allowing himself to see me as a woman instead of Personal Enemy Number Ten Thousand. And he made no attempt to hide that he liked what he saw. The blood ran to my cheeks and ears before I could compose myself, my body clearly not accustomed to such unabashed interest. “E-Excuse me?”
“Your number, baby,” he repeats as if it’s nothing, “Could say I’m tryna make a movie with you here, but you clearly rather have your erotica in book form.”
What kind of Jersey asshole even knows about the word ‘erotica’? “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about…”
A ring-adorned index finger pointed towards the book on my lap and I froze. I had deliberately chosen the version of this book - a rather obscure piece of erotic literature, the first of a series - that had a more passable cover, absolutely nothing in it that could give away its themes, in a way that they could only be known by someone who already knew the title. And there was no way Kyley did, right?
“I’ll tell you right now, stop at the first one. The sequels are garbage.” Kyley did. He shook his head with his own advice, like the memories of having to go through the continuations of that book brought stress back to his mind again.
My hands quickly grabbed the book and tried to hide it behind my computer monitor, away from his eyes, but the damage had been done. I tried to retort, but the words got stuck in my throat, coming out as gasps that enhanced further my petrified face, my wide eyes and the intensifying blush in my cheeks and ears. 
“Cat get ya tongue?” Kyley teased as if reading my mind, his upper body leaning over the counter so his pointing finger could brush softly against my cheek, “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. I’m no blabbermouth.”
Still I took a bit to relax and believe his words. This was a small town, gossip spread as easily as the snow fell, it would be hard to show my face anywhere without having jokes hurled towards me about being a ‘closeted freak’. Which was extremely far from the truth, to be honest - that genre of book was not amongst my most read, I was as vanilla as they came, it was literally an unfortunate circumstance that led to anyone finding out about this.
The fact that Kyley-B was so uncharacteristically decent and understanding about it too, despite the initial teasing when he was hitting on me, threw me off even more. He had no reason to help me, and he was notorious for being unhelpful, so this was odd behavior on his part. My mind raced with reasons as to why that would be, trying to make sense of the madness - maybe he had secrets of his own, or maybe he just understood how it was to be the subject of unsavory discussions everywhere he passed. Either way, I found myself thankful for his actions.
Eventually, I let out a deep sigh, my lungs almost hurting as I did. “Thank you… Kyley.” I murmured, nodding slowly, my eyes shining with the gratitude that I couldn’t express with words without sounding corny.
He brought his hand back to himself, and I looked at his face again, seeing the exact same intense expression as before. Maybe, in my slight delirium of trying to build up Kyley-B as an actual human being with thoughts and feelings instead of your stereotypical Jersey playboy, I had imagined it faltering.
“That’s something I like to hear,” the flirtatious tone of voice was back with a vengeance, “Now, about that phone number of yours...”
And just like that, I was avoiding his eyes once more, my hands drifting down to fidget with the hem of my skirt absentmindedly, making me look even more suspicious. “I… I don’t know if that would be appropriate.”
“We only have to get inappropriate if you want me to,” his smirk grew. His voice didn’t even drop in volume as he said this, like he was completely comfortable with talking to unknown women like that - which he probably was, “We can just go party, have a couple drinks, make some noise, shit, whatever it is you like.”
Whatever it was I liked did not involve any of the things he mentioned. “I… I’m afraid I might not be the ideal person for that.” As I tried to let him down easy, I felt a striking pain in my chest; like the act of refusing made me uncomfortable, like I somehow wanted to accept it, even though it didn’t belong to me at all. “But thank you for the offer.”
“‘Not ideal’? What the fuck is that about?” He retorted, and for a moment I thought I might’ve riled him up again - but, although he was still loud, he didn’t seem angrier. More so confused about what I said rather than the circumstances of it. “I’m inviting ya, ain’t I? How the fuck is that not ideal?”
“It’s not the invitation!” I was quick to respond, “It’s just I don’t think I’m the right kind of company for all that… I’m sure there’s better people in town who would love to go clubbing with you.”
“Well, I’m not inviting those other people, I’m inviting you!” It was clear the insistence would not wane anytime soon. He rubbed his eyes with his palms for a bit, his mind trying to come up with a solution, before taking a deep breath and looking at me again. “How about some coffee, or tea, then? You into that?”
My eyes widened in surprise and he probably knew he struck gold there. A coffee shop was much more up my alley, but never in a million years would I imagine the likes of Kyley-B in such an environment - somewhere with no alcohol, no loud music, and where fighting was not tolerated. “I… I am, yes.”
“Coffee it is, then,” his tone was every bit as comfortable as he was when he mentioned partying, “Just gotta avoid that one place near the movie theater. Tastes like shit and the owner is a piece of garbage.”
A small giggle left my mouth. I had been to that coffee shop and knew its owner personally, it wasn’t hard considering the town was pretty small. For once in his life, Kyley-B was right, even if I personally wouldn’t phrase it all like he did. The business was probably only kept standing due to the fact people were too used to it by now, but it was the one place where I wouldn’t mind seeing a Jersey-level rage outburst take place. 
My reaction was stifled by a glare Kyley shot at me, his eyebrows furrowing as he tried to understand if I was laughing at him or with him. “I’m sorry! It’s just… I don’t like that place either.” I admitted, immediately scanning the library hall with wide eyes, trying to see if there was anyone around that could’ve heard me say that. 
His expression relaxed and he nodded. “You ain’t gotta be so shy, you know,” he commented, his tone slightly more serious, “If you have your truth, then you gotta just say it. It’s how we do it in Jersey, and it works!”
It didn’t really work, but I wasn’t about to question him, not when the structure of his message was in the right place. My whole existence happened inside strict lines ever since I was a kid, I was one to keep my opinions to myself and rein in my actions to keep myself palatable to the people around me. This lifestyle had me sheltered to a fault, but until that moment I was fine with it; going through life avoiding trouble kept me healthy and safe, and I didn’t want to jeopardize that. However, Kyley-B’s advice still held some sort of water, and I found myself willing to hear more, even though it came from such an unreliable narrator.
“I know, I know… I just didn’t want anyone to hear me say that. It feels weird.” I shrugged.
“Well, maybe if that place wasn’t so trashy, you wouldn’t have to complain about it, it’s exactly what I am saying!” He retorted, the serious edge in his voice gone and replaced by the usual annoyance. “And I keep telling people that, but they won’t listen!”
With every passing millisecond, Kyley-B managed to confuse me more. While a part of me was stuck on the still present image of the annoying jerk who only knows how to pick fights and be rude to others, another part slowly took form; one that was intrigued about that man, knowing that although he could be a little too much, he was still completely true to himself, which is more than what can be said about a lot of the people around me. Right now, he carried his actions like a motorcycle zig-zagging through the traffic of my mind. Its destination? The inside of my skirt. 
“I’ll keep that in mind… Thank you.”
Kyley-B nodded with a smirk, content that I wasn’t disputing him like people usually seemed to do. Though something told me that even if I did, I still wouldn’t be subjected to the same type of verbal abuse others would if they tried that. “Now, back to that coffee…” 
I then managed to notice that we weren’t alone in our conversation anymore when a hand sneaked from behind the Jersey man, tapping his shoulder a bit. Immediately my brain was blaring sirens, the word ‘DANGER’ being transmitted by every one of my neurons. “Excuse me, sir?” Another male voice called out, well-mannered enough, yet still firm.
Kyley-B immediately turned to face the unknown third party, his eyebrows furrowing and whole expression hardening into anger. “What the fuck do you want? Can’t you see I’m in the middle of something here?”
Apparently the stranger had very little regard for his life, because he didn’t back out from the rude display, their tone instead becoming louder and more insistent in retaliation. “Well, your ‘something’ needs to happen somewhere else, because I have to check out this book and this is the only counter available!” He lifted his hand to show Kyley the book he was holding, as if that would drill the information into his skull.
All it did was make him more angry. He quickly snatched the book from the client’s hand, throwing it with such force it managed to hit the wall farthest from us, before stepping closer to the stranger and crossing his arms in front of his chest. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”
The client was stunned for a second, both from his book being thrown and from the sudden inferred physical threat. “What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?” Through his shock he still managed to spit back, trying his best to mirror Kyley’s body language and tone; but it’s hard to be as violent as a guy from Jersey. “Can’t you see you’re fucking wrong? Back off!”
“No, you back off!” Kyley used both his hands to push his adversary away - the other guy stumbled backwards a few feet, but luckily didn’t fall. However, the Jersey man was quick to breach the freshly created distance with hard steps. “I’ll fucking teach garbage like you not to mess with me!”
Right in front of the stranger again, Kyley cracked his knuckles and squared his shoulders. The other guy straightened his posture and balled both fists at his sides, prepared to strike the Jersey threat right back if it came to that.
Mustering the small courage I had in me and having to force my fear-frozen legs to move, I ran from behind the counter towards the two men, putting my hands on their shoulders and praying to all deities that my presence would make them back off instead of turning me into a casualty of the upcoming brawl. “G-Gentlemen, please, don’t…” My voice was thin and desperate, reflecting the state of my mind as I tried to diffuse this situation to the best of my abilities, “There’s no need for any of this! Please, calm down!”
Luckily, they heard me well enough, and my guess is having to acknowledge the presence of a woman put a damper, however small, in their urge to clash. For a moment, our little group was completely silent except for the heavy breathing noises coming from the three of us - the two men furious like bulls about to strike, and me in terrified anxiety over the situation. They maintained a quiet staredown for what felt like forever, and I knew that if they were telepaths, the offenses they’d be mentally hurling at each other would contain curse words that could make a sailor blush. Then Kyley-B did something I didn’t even think he could physically do - he took a step back from a fight.
“Screw this noise,” he huffed, before turning his face to me again and making a gesture with his arm that beckoned me to accompany him somewhere, “Come on, can’t fucking talk in here without a shithead butting in.”
“W-What? Come on where?” My hands gestured desperately towards both my counter and the client in front of Kyley, who the redhead was now clearly ignoring as if he was nothing more than a decorative piece of the library, much to the other’s confusion, “I mean, I’m working right now!”
Before I could stop him, he walked back to the reception and reached over to the space of my desk, his hand clumsily scattering a bunch of the items on it before he could retrieve what he wanted - a small desk sign that just said ‘Be Back Soon’. He placed it firmly on top of the counter, the text facing him. “There. Now you ain’t.”
Kyley-B didn’t even allow me to put my shoes back on before he grabbed me by the wrist and started taking me away from the reception. I sent the other client one last apologetic look over my shoulder as Kyley dragged me, his sneakers louder than ever as he brought a barefooted me all the way to the farthest hallways of the library, down the always empty and slightly dusty Latin Literature section. His hand only loosened its hold when we stopped walking completely. Place was empty except for me, him and one of the trustworthy metal library carts, containing an assortment of books that needed to be delivered back into their proper shelves.
When he put both his hands in his pockets, I realized that now, away from the reception counter, I could see the lower half of his body. Even though he wore a belt, his acid wash denim jeans still hung a bit low on his hips - when his shirt shifted slightly, I could see the top of his boxers’ waistband peeking out. A look that normally would have given me pause when it came to a guy, but at that moment, what paused was my gaze, that I had to forcefully tear away from the region as I imagined what he looked like minus the outfit.
“Fucking finally. Can’t stand those hicks sticking their nose in business that ain’t theirs.” He spat, looking over his shoulder a bit towards the direction from which we came, like he was still trying to send his message to the other man who couldn’t even hear him anymore. 
“I guess...” I didn’t really want to continue dwelling on what just transpired; Kyley’s anger was still fresh - was it ever not? - and the last thing I wanted was for him to decide to head back and finally start what he was about to before I intervened. Besides, from our small interaction in the reception desk, I had learnt that he had a ‘not complete jerk’ side to him that was much more tolerable to be around.
“I swear, people in this town stress me the fuck out. Gahbage, all of them.“ He shook his head and with that, finally turned his face back to me - his expression was still intense, but at least he wasn’t completely pissed off anymore, and a hint of that cocky flirtatious grin had returned to his lips. “Well, not all. But enough about that bullshit. What do they call you around these parts?”
The way he asked for my name sounded weird to me, but I guess that’s the type of sentence someone’s got to use when their name is ‘Kyley-B’ and they refuse to be referred to as anything else. “I’m Y/N.”
‘Y/N, huh? That’s hot.”
Of all the adjectives he could have chosen, he went for the one I had never seen used before to describe a name, especially mine. “What do you mean by that?”
Kyley frowned a bit in confusion. “I mean it’s hot, what of it?” The answer came with a dismissive shrug, as if it was obvious and I was dumb for even having something to question. “Your name is hot, you’re hot, there’s not much else to say.”
My mouth spoke before my mind could catch the words this time. “Well, that’s a surprise.”
His frown intensified and I put my hands over my lips, the mistake getting to me. “And what do you mean by that?”
“Well, it’s just, I’ve seen you around,” my brain cells worked themselves into overdrive trying to find a way to say it that didn’t sound accusatory, “With some girls, and…”
Lively laughter that almost seemed to rumble the books on the nearby shelves interrupted my train of thought. “Oh, so that’s what this is about?” Kyley ran his fingers through his own hair - it almost didn’t even move due to the sheer amount of hair gel. “Don’t ya worry about it, baby. I like the covered up look too. You’re really pretty.” 
He eyed me up and down slowly, still grinning, as if he truly appreciated what he saw. I looked down at myself as well, taking in my outfit - a loose-fitting blouse, a skirt that ended just barely above my knees, my bare feet that were earlier covered by a pair of flats. Miles away from the style of the women that I’d seen Kyley-B have in his arms - women who wore clothes with much less fabric, shoes with much higher heels, makeup with much more vibrant colors. Women that dressed like they wanted the attention, in the way that Kyley’s personality denounced the same thing.
Yet that Jersey man still looked at me like he wanted me in a much worse way than he’d want any of those girls, beyond just flirting for the hell of it or so he could add another number to his body count. And I was eating it up despite myself - having the undivided attention of Kyley-B in a somewhat private setting like this, instead of fighting other women for it at a club or something, was deliciously feeding into my ego, and it took everything in my mind for me to remind myself that this was my job and I was working and there is no way anything can happen and oh my lord his eyes are so gorgeous.
My eyes drifted to the floor, suddenly very interested in the nail polish on my toes and the small creases on Kyley’s Jordans. “Thank you…”
 “See? This is what I’m talking about.” One of his hands made its way to my chin, tilting it upwards just enough to bring my attention towards his face again.“That’s the fourth time you’ve thanked me now. Makes me wanna actually give you something to be thankful for.”
Now forced to look at him - honestly, I don’t know how ‘forced’ I really was, considering I made no attempt to dodge my head away from his hold -, the fire reddening my face was on full display for Kyley, a sight that made his smirk widen.
“There’s no need for that,” I murmured, though the little vain monster in my heart yearned for him to continue talking about me like that, to continue making me feel actually interesting, “It’s just… who I am.”
He stepped closer, keeping his eyes on mine. “Who you are? I wanna know all about that… Inside and out.”
My nervous hard swallow was audible. I was sure I could boil a kettle using only the heat radiating from me at that moment. His voice was dripping with desire; the double entendre almost making the air around us crackle with how charged it was. Despite my whole body presenting all my real feelings, my personality still clamored for some semblance of that decorum that Kyley-B was trying to make slip away. "I don’t know… I don’t think we should…”
“Why not?” This time, there was no anger in his voice as he questioned me; its volume had dropped lower, matching the ‘private’ nature of the conversation. “I’m into it, you’re into it, I don’t see the issue.”
I could’ve denied, said he understood everything wrong and I was just being polite, thanked him for his time and left that place with my decency intact. But I was always a very bad liar, and there was no denying the way my heart beated like a drum with his proximity, how my face got beet red just from our simple conversations, or the way I eagerly paid attention to every word that came out of his mouth.
Why was I feeling so drawn to his offer anyway? Was it the forbidden aspect of it all, the knowledge that I’d be going wild and letting loose while still maintaining the looks of a productive member of society? Did I internally enjoy the attention of someone who usually went for women that had nothing to do with me in either appearance or personality? Was the savior complex acting up again, the ‘I can change him’ mentality? All of the above would lead to the same outcome.
Another thing that really led me towards the path of surrendering to Kyley was the fact that, during all of this, he still hadn’t touched me in any way that was inherently sexual, despite all of his verbal advances. He was still waiting for my consent, exhibiting atypical patience, which made me believe he would’ve been okay even if I legitimately rejected him - the thing he couldn’t take was me hiding myself from the both of us, my attempts at masking my interest, and that’s why he was still pressing the issue. He wanted to take me, but he also had to make sure I wanted to be taken.
“Come on, baby… Talk to me…” His voice dropped even lower as he took the final step towards me, our bodies inches from each other now, “Wanna know what’s going on in that pretty little mind…”
The deep shuddering breath I took brought to me the smells of old books and some very strong cologne, the latter of which I could easily imagine on my pillow. “Need you…”
His hands grabbed both sides of my face and he pulled me into a fierce kiss, groaning into my mouth once we collided. His lips were surprisingly soft, likely due to a religious application of chapstick, but the kiss as a whole was still rough in a figurative sense; tough, possessive, everything that man was now being transferred to me through the clashing of our mouths, basically demanding me to respond in kind.
Which was something I didn’t even know I could do. I wasn’t necessarily a virgin, but that doesn’t mean I was all that seasoned, either. My years in university weren’t necessarily the great breeding ground for sexual experience that they seemed to be for everyone else - turns out all the other English majors were more interested in reading about steamy affection and whirlwind romances rather than actually living them. 
So that moment with Kyley-B, in the back of my workplace, was the first moment of my life I actually felt desired - like my whole presence did something for the man in front of me, something he couldn’t ignore. And I found myself in equal measure wanting him as well, entranced by his untamed nature, like a tiny wild side of me I didn’t even know existed was slowly coming to life now that he was close enough.
We needed to have each other. So, letting my last sliver of rational thought become dust and settle on the books in the shelves around us, I kissed him back, my hands resting on his shoulders and gently bringing him even closer. Kyley’s hands tightened around my waist and he pushed me backwards until I felt my ass lightly hit the library cart, hearing the faint squeak of the wheels as they moved a bit from the slight impact. His tongue led mine in a sensual dance, one that I initially didn’t know the moves to, but that quickly became second nature under his expert tutoring. His hips pressed against me and I was a bit glad to notice he was clearly affected too, seeking whatever friction he could get by grinding his bulge against my lower abdomen. 
Both of us had our chests heaving heavily when we pulled back in need of air, and that’s when I realized my whole body was trembling with a mix of nerves and anticipation. “Please…” was all I could manage to say, and I didn’t even know what I was begging for; for Kyley-B to calm down, to keep going, to do more, to bring me somewhere else or take me right there. Just whatever it was that would calm down the heat on my lower abdomen, since I knew only he could take care of that now.
“You really know your magic words, what a good girl,” Kyley murmured with his mouth still inches from mine, his words teasing, but with an undertone of praise. One of his hands slowly drifted down from my waist, pulling up the fabric of my skirt a bit just so it could slide under, a feather-light touch making its way towards my inner thighs until it settled right over my clothed pussy - the material already thoroughly damp from just his previous contact.
Two of his fingers traced my slit over my panties before they stopped right on top of my clit, applying slight pressure to it before rubbing tight firm circles over it, the fabric of my underwear providing even more friction against my extra sensitive bundle of nerves. My teeth dug into my lower lip as I stifled my whimpers, squirming quietly under Kyley’s teasing moves.
“You’re real wet, ya know that?” He moved his head so that he could whisper in my ear, his teeth grazing my earlobe. The tip of his tongue then slowly traced the outline of my ear, a seductive gesture that sent goosebumps through my whole body. “Love to see it. Basically dripping for me.”
His digits moved back lower between my thighs, tracing me yet again, but the pressure on my clit wasn’t missed for long, as his palm was now flat against it, applying a bit of pressure and moving just barely to still keep me sensitive. He pushed my very damp panties to the side, a finger now circling my entrance, the small wet sounds it made almost deafening to me, proving Kyley’s previous claim without a doubt.
When he pushed his index in, I grabbed hard on the library cart handle, making it rattle a bit with the sudden movement. My breath hitched with the sudden intrusion, and Kyley chuckled in satisfaction, his face lowering to my neck. The pleasurable pain of the bites he started to place on the sensitive skin came in tandem with his middle finger also plunging inside of me, all the way to the last knuckle.
Kyley-B wasted no time before curling his fingers in a come hither motion, pumping them in and out with a type of strength that made my whole body shake with each push inward. My hips moved towards his palm in sync with his ministrations, subconsciously trying to get extra friction on my clit. 
Despite never having seen me before, it was like he had a complete map of my body in his mind. He knew exactly what to do at all times to make me feel good, and handled my body with a type of care that I would never expect from the likes of him. My worries about his nature or his intentions were gone with the wind; he could be whoever he wanted, as long as he’d continue laying his passion on all the neglected erotic parts of both my body and spirit. Soon my nails started making scraping noises against the metal of the handle, like I wasn’t just holding on to it, but also to the last little bit of my sanity before Kyley-B would kick me right into the deepest ends of pleasure.
Then suddenly, it stopped. His fingers withdrew from me and he took them to his mouth, cleaning my whole arousal out of those digits as he sucked on them. Not saying a word, he then used both of his hands to hike up my skirt completely so that it would be bunched up on my waist, immediately pressing his body against me again while his fingers drifted to the side of my panties. With a fierce tug that would’ve made me lose balance if not for his presence, he tore the damp fabric clean off, dropping it on the floor near our feet.
“What… Why did you…” I stuttered a bit as I looked up at him with my mouth hanging slightly open, looking every bit needy and desperate for him, absolutely pathetic in my yearning for the touch of that man.
His response came as a series of quick yet sensual kisses, the last one prolonged by the soft pulling of my bottom lip between his teeth. “Think we’re both gonna like it a lot more if you cum on my cock, baby,” he cooed, “And ya want it too, right? Don’t think you’d want to come all the way here just to get two fingers in.”
My head moved in a meek nod. My brain would’ve normally scolded me for agreeing so easily to words like these, so overtly sexually charged, but I couldn’t exactly lie to Kyley, either. I wanted him to fill me up. Taking in my agreement, he pulled back just a bit so he could make quick work of the belt and buttons in his jeans and pulled both them and his boxers slightly down, just enough for his cock to spring free. 
A lot of times, when people see feisty men with boisterous personalities, they like to say that those men are compensating for a lack of something. Kyley-B absolutely was not. He had the inches and the girth to back up every single aggressive display and explicit word that left his mouth. I pressed my thighs together, both in a gesture of fear for my poor pussy and also as a way to create some sort of pressure in the area that could calm me down until he would finally give it all to me.
My light squirming did not go unnoticed by his ever observant olive eyes. For all his violent behavior, he was still a really sharp individual. “You can take it,” he stated in a way that left no room for questioning, “I’ll make sure of it.”
Kyley took my lips back in his as his hands then moved from my waist to my ass, the unfamiliar sensation making me gasp against his mouth. He kneaded the soft flesh a bit, feeling it around. Then, without warning, both his hands delivered hard smacks to each side of my bottom, and I broke the kiss with a loud high-pitched yelp - the sounds almost echoed in the quiet library. He immediately started rubbing circles with his palms on the areas he slapped, as if trying to soothe them, contented groans rumbling in his chest. His next sentence came as an order. “Turn around. Need to feel this ass on me.”
I spun 180 degrees on my feet without a second thought and he pushed my back unceremoniously, making me bend over the library cart in front of me before shoving my head down towards it so that my back would be even lower and my ass would be in a more prominent position. My face landed on its side on one of the books that I was supposed to put back in place - Don Quixote. I had the feeling that by the end of my encounter with Kyley-B I too would be crazy enough to fight windmills.
I could only hear the noises his shoes made as he settled properly behind me, the hand he had used to shove me now placed at my back, putting slight pressure to keep me bent. He held his cock with the other one, giving a few light taps with it on my ass, and I just knew his gaze was burning into me as he watched the soft flesh jiggle a bit. When he positioned himself to start dragging the head across my slit, gathering up my already plentiful arousal and spreading it around even more, I whined and bucked back a little with my hips, the library cart under me rolling a bit as well. 
Immediately the hand that had been resting on my back moved to my ass and grabbed it fiercely. “Damn desperate for my cock, are ya, baby?” I could almost hear the smirk in his lips as he said those words, “Don’t worry, Imma give it to ya… And you ain’t even gonna need to thank me for it…”
Fortunately Kyley-B did not make me wait much longer after that. He was all about that instant gratification, and my submissive behaviour fed right into it. He traced my slit a few more times with the tip of his cock before pushing it fully inside of me in one swift motion, taking advantage of my wetness buildup. 
Another yelp from deep within my throat, this time accompanied by a deep grunt from Kyley-B’s. Both his hands grabbed my hips with such ferocity it felt like he was trying to get his fingers to break through my skin - but he’d have to settle for them just leaving a couple bruises. The stinging sensation deep in my walls as they stretched around his cock was like nothing I had ever felt before; worse than it felt when I lost my virginity, yet it was better, as in, actually good. I took a deep breath, hoping the air coming inside my lungs might help ease the burning somehow.
“Fuck, you’re so fuckin’ tight,” Kyley-B grunted behind me, his tone of voice faltering for a moment, becoming less brutish than usual - he was lost in the feeling of being inside me just as much as I was on the feeling of taking him. “Gonna end up ruining ya… If I’m not careful…”
He already had.
His grip steadied on my hips as he pulled away from me, before slamming all the way back in, giving me no time to calm down as he quickly settled into a steady pace, each thrust burying his cock to the hilt inside of my cunt. He was so big I could feel his tip hitting my cervix, constant jolts of pain coursing through my lower abdomen with each hit - yet I didn’t feel any urge to bring myself away from it or make it stop. It was the best pain I had ever felt in my life, which is a sentence I never thought I’d put together. 
Before I knew it I was letting out loud pleasure whines, my perception of the environment around me slowly being lost. Kyley still seemed to maintain his for a bit, though - to stifle my noises, he quickly shoved his index and middle finger inside of my mouth, almost all the way to the third knuckle. As if on cue, I started sucking on those digits and swirling my tongue around them like it was second nature.
“Fuck, girl,” he groaned with a husky voice, “If ya pussy wasn’t this fuckin’ good I’d be using my cock on this great tongue ya got instead.”
His other hand grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled it with reasonable strength, making me gasp and bringing my head up - my mouth opened wider and I could now taste the brass of his fake rings on my tongue as he pushed his fingers all the way inside, having the surprising care of positioning them in such a way that they wouldn’t make me gag, while I continued to work on them.
He didn’t keep my noises muffled like this for long. Soon he seemed to realize it was of no use and we were already loud anyway; so he let go of my hair and my face immediately fell forward, his fingers leaving my mouth with a wet noise and slight pain to me as his rings clumsily hit my teeth from the sudden movement. His hands slapped both sides of my ass again and I yelled with full force of my lungs - now that I was free to make noise, he seemed interested in testing my ability of it, and I could swear the squelching noises my pussy made with each of his thrusts became louder as he sped up a bit.
With each potent snap of his hips against my ass, my whole body would jerk forward and cause the library cart to hit the tall wooden bookshelf right in front of me, shaking the whole thing up and making it bang against the wall behind it. Heavy hardcover books rained from the shelves, hitting the parquet floor with loud thuds.
Completely immersed in the pleasure the Jersey man was giving me, I failed to notice the danger I was in, of a book striking my head and knocking me out cold. I only realized that situation when all of a sudden Kyley-B had the whole weight of his upper body against my back, his harsh breathing on my neck sending shivers down my spine while his arm moved at the speed of light to backhand a falling book out of its path towards our bodies, sending it flying a few feet away like it was nothing. He hissed between his teeth, likely from the pain of the smack, but didn’t voice any complaints besides that, his pounding against me not faltering for even a second.
I adored the new sensation. Though I was almost fully trapped against the library cart, him leaning on top of me like this was strangely comforting, seeing all of that oppressive strength being used for my protection. Kyley-B clearly took care of what was his, and at that moment, that’s exactly what I was.
Best as I could, I sneaked one of my arms over my shoulder, my hand clumsily grabbing a fistful of his gelled up hair. He grunted roughly against my neck, apparently not used to being touched like that - maybe it was usually the other way around - but making no move to stop my awkward attempt at a caress either. His thrusts slowed a bit as he stayed like this for a moment or two, before he straightened his posture back up with his chest away from my back and gave my ass another slap, picking up speed again - maybe that was his way of taking for himself the smallest bit of control over the situation I held for a bit. 
Not that I minded. Him taking charge was all that I wanted at that moment. Not a single useful thought graced my brain while he fucked me senseless, all of my neurons hyper-aware of how his cock felt when it pushed against the most sensitive spots inside of me and not much else. Everything was Kyley-B, the world around us irrelevant, merely a void environment that could absorb all of my moans and screams of pleasure, as well as the squelching and slapping noises of his thrusts, with no repercussion. Even the swear words he grunted every so often now sounded like music to me; because it came from a place of intense pleasure, which I was giving him, so he could curse as much as he wanted near me as long as he’d do it in that lascivious tone.
Kyley’s thrusts became even quicker and more erratic, as if he couldn’t bear to have a single inch of himself not buried inside of me for any amount of time. He bullied my walls and my cervix with wild abandon, and I felt myself tensing up under his chest, my toes curling against the hardwood floor as my body braced for the impact of the release that his cock was about to give to me. 
He noticed the physical aspects of my buildup and a hoarse chuckle cut through the sounds of his hips slapping against me. “Gonna cum for me now, are ya, babe?” He murmured huskily, giving the lightest of taps to my ass, an action that felt weirdly reassuring. “Told ya it was gonna be better with my cock… Go on, let me see ya…”
My eyes rolled almost to the back of my head and I let out a cry that made my whole throat quiver as the most intense orgasm of my life crashed on me like a tsunami, my spine arching and making my upper body press even more against the cart under me. While I whimpered and trembled through the ripples of pleasure in my system, Kyley-B grabbed my hair again, pulling my head back some more as he used the newfound reins to jackhammer into me with my cunt clamping fiercely against his cock, trying to make it a permanent attachment to my body - a very smart decision on its part, really.
Despite riding my climax out to the fullest, I did not get any time to catch my breath - Kyley-B’s attack on my walls had already started to cross the line into overstimulation, making me whimper from the continuing massage on the extra sensitive region, before he suddenly withdrew from me. Although I already had way too much everything considered, that action surprisingly made me legitimately angry for half a second - I missed him inside of me. His breathing shook and faltered while thick jets spilled over my ass and lower back, his seed warm against my skin.
As he came down from his high and his breathing became more steady, I heard him reach inside of his pocket again, then felt the slightly rough sensation of lace being rubbed against me - he was cleaning up his release with the very same panties he tore away. Seemed thorough about it, too, as he took his time and by the end of it I didn’t feel sticky anymore. Yet, the knowledge of what we did had painted my body forever, the warm sensation still very much psychologically present, even if I was physically ‘clean’.
I looked over my shoulder just in time to see him stuff the panties in his pocket. The normal confusion I’d exhibit if seeing such an act did not grace my features, either because I was too fucked out to care or because I actually liked it.
He tucked his softening cock back inside of his boxers and closed the buttons and belt on his jeans before leaning towards me again, this time to put his nose to the side of my neck, inhaling my scent sharply while his arms wrapped around my waist.
”Did so fucking well for me, baby. You were so damn good.” Kyley-B whispered against my skin, his voice once more taking that less rowdy tone I heard earlier. Hearing it again, in a full sentence this time, sent shivers down my spine - different shivers from the ones that had coursed through my body earlier. Like I could catch a glimpse of the man behind the fake tan. He made sure to leave one tiny nip at my skin before pressing a kiss right on top of that region - a surprisingly soft kiss, like he was now trying to be careful with me.
He stayed like this for a little more before straightening up again and letting go of my body, giving my ass one last playful slap, chuckling as he watched it jiggle. “You’re the real deal, Y/N,” the Jersey playboy voice was back at full force, “Let’s go out sometime. I’ll call you.”
Which was a weird thing to say, considering I hadn’t given him my number at all, but for some reason I just knew that was the least of his problems. He knew where I worked. He’d find a way, and I’d give him as much direction as I could for that.
As soon as I couldn’t hear his footsteps anymore, my knees gave in, and I fell right on them, letting the library cart hit the now much less packed bookcase a final time. My hands clung to the side of it with what little strength I had in my body, that still felt like it was made of jelly. I could’ve fallen asleep right then and there, the exhaustion from the unfamiliar ‘exercise’ getting to me. Dozens of books laid around me on the floor, waiting to be put back in their places, but I decided to just make that a problem for future me, instead choosing to let my muscles catch a break.
When I finally managed to pull myself together enough to return, alone, to the reception desk, I realized I was in deep shit. Every single set of eyes in the location turned to me, wide and horrified; apparently, the whole time I was with Kyley-B back there, my clients at the library were frozen in place listening to the whole thing. I tried to avoid my shame by looking elsewhere, but then my eyes rested on a decorative piece of mirrored glass at the wall; I could now see myself clearly. My hair was messed up beyond belief from all of Kyley-B’s pulling, my whole makeup was smudged - with special attention to the huge pink blur of lipstick around my very kiss-swollen lips -, my shirt was creased everywhere. Not to mention that now my underwear was hanging out in a New Jersey man’s pocket, leaving me totally commando. And I had a few more hours of my shift ahead of me.
It didn’t affect me as much as it should.
༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚
Surprisingly enough, I did not get fired from my job after that. My guess was they knew they couldn’t find anyone else who could put up with the extra work that had nothing to do with my appointed position, not for the money I was paid. So I got to stay.
What did happen was the influx of people at the library augmented significantly. This did not mean a proportional increase in the number of books checked out, however - it just meant way too many people were suddenly interested in Latin Literature, and my workplace became a lot noisier.
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Dividers by @cafekitsune
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edgy-ella · 2 years ago
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IDW SONIC READERS, PLEASE READ THIS!!!!
I am begging you. On my hands and knees. Begging. More so than anything else I’ve asked of this fandom.
Please please buy the Fang miniseries when it comes out
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Don’t just read it. Buy it. I will admit that I’m very guilty of reading through a lot of IDW Sonic through…less than legal means, and I know I’m not alone in that regard. But I think it’s really important that for this miniseries in particular, you actually go out and buy the damn thing. Show your support with your dollar.
Really think about it for a second—they gave Fang his own miniseries. Fang! An underutilized, underrated fan favorite for sure, but hardly a mainstay of the series. I’m sure that this was at least somewhat prompted by Superstars, where Fang is a major antagonist…but Bean and Bark weren’t in that game, and it already received its own online promo comic prior to the game’s release (notably, with Fang as the star).
Classic Sonic stories have also exclusively been relegated to one-shots in IDW, not a full on miniseries like what Fang is getting. Basically all of the IDW Sonic miniseries we’ve gotten so far have been plot relevant side stories to the main IDW comic that focus on side characters with little to no involvement from Sonic himself. Tangle and Whisper, Bad Guys, Impostor Syndrome…the only odd man out besides this Fang miniseries is Scrapnik Island.
Really think about it for a second. FANG is getting his own focus comic BEFORE KNUCKLES.
And that’s why it’s so important that we buy it.
I think Sega is using this comic to test the waters to see if people like Fang and want to see him in more future projects—be it comics, games, or even cartoons. But there’s more to it than just that.
See, Superstars hasn’t been doing that great. I know I said in an earlier post that people seemed to like it, but I retract that statement. It was damned by faint praise at launch, and now most of the discussion I’ve seen surrounding the game revolves around its flaws (chief among them being the middling OST and that the Steam version stealth installs an Epic Games service along with the game). No sales numbers have been projected as of writing, but it’s definitely been beaten out by Mario Wonder and Spider-Man 2.
So, Classic Sonic games aren’t doing too hot right now (I’m sure that many modern fans are jumping for joy at the prospect). But the classic characters are.
People really like the extended classic Sonic cast, just as much as they love the extended modern cast. From my experience, the two fan favorites are Mighty and Fang. Fang stands out to me in particular for a couple reasons: people were really upset that Sega specifically said no to Fang, Bark and Bean coming back after Ian snuck in a reference to them in IDW Sonic #3 (using their old team name from Archie, the Hooligans), and the fanmade 16-bit remake of Triple Trouble, Fang’s debut game, received private praise from many members of Sega and Sonic Team. People like Fang and the media he’s in, and Sega is starting to take notice. That’s why we’re getting this miniseries.
That’s why it’s so important that the miniseries sells well. If the big boys at Sega and Sonic Team see Superstars’ iffy reception but see Fang’s comic sell above expectations, then Sega will want to continue to use Fang (and potentially other “classic” Sonic characters as well) in more narrative driven projects. That means modern Sonic.
“But Sega won’t let any classic Sonic character into a modern Sonic project!” I hear you thinking. And to that I say, so? Sega changes its mind all the time. Remember that whole two worlds nonsense? That was thrown out with in Tailstube. Characters debuting in Boom and the comics were previously barred from the mainline games, but they’ve broken that “rule” in both Speed Battle and Frontiers. Hell, they’ve even been talked out of some of their sillier comic mandates, like characters not being able to wear different clothing.
For all their flaws, Sega does listen, and money speaks louder than anything. If this miniseries fails, Sega will just assume that people aren’t hot on Fang or the extended classic cast anymore and throw them back in the bar. But if the comic sells well, then Sega might take it as a sign that, hey, people like this character (and his two lackeys), we should put him in projects that fans are more interested in. Mighty and Ray probably wouldn’t be too far behind, especially given Mania’s success. Whether that means comics or games, modern or classic, who knows. What’s important is that it sends the right message to Sega, and they will listen to their consumers. That means us. If we don’t support this miniseries now, we might have to wait another thirty years for another chance.
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butterflydm · 4 months ago
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wheel of time 3x01 - additional thoughts
So our group spent a month on a boat together before the start of 3x01! We get some hints about what happened - Randgwene are sleeping in the same bed but haven't talked anything out. Avilayne were flirting. Mat was flirting with Bain & Chiad. Aviendha was sleeping on the deck under the stars. Nynaeve and Lan were probably sleeping together too, I'm going to assume.
But there's a lot of gray area there to play with too! Them all being together on that boat can potentially lead to some fun fic scenarios, canon or not.
I'm pretty happy with what we got from the relationships, overall, even if I remain sad that we do not get our Second Great Cauthor Roadtrip. It lives in our hearts.
I can't believe that I forgot to mention that Alviarin was the White Sister who was part of Egwene's Testing! I mean, I assumed that she wasn't merged with anyone, but it's nice to have it confirmed.
So about that Avirandlayne! Avilayne are the ones who hook up in this episode, but they very much had a dynamic that involved the three of them as well as individual dynamics, which is what I like to see.
Taking the plunge first with Avilayne does establish that they are both attracted to women and this isn't going to be a "Rand's harem" situation, which is an important thing to establish (especially if Min isn't romantic with Aviendha and/or Elayne, though she might be! we will see!). But the episode also made a point of having Elayne involved in the (currently antagonistic) relationship between Aviendha & Rand, and Elayne also ends up being the person who motivates Rand to make his choice about where to go at the end of the episode and does so in a manner that is designed both to please Aviendha and to help Rand. Very neatly done by our political and emotional communicator (which Elayne is pretty good at being in the books when she isn't writing letters to Rand, which always goes poorly).
The way they set up Mat staying in the White Tower was also really good and made sense. We've seen that he's struggling with his memories from blowing the Horn and that he's trying to bury his feelings/nightmares using drinking and flirting, and those are definitely canon coping mechanisms for him.
Randgwene does seem like it is going to be a slow dissolving over the course of the season. The show making it clear that Avilayne have a strong attraction to each other does simplify some of the things that I was potentially worrying over for s4 (which we will hopefully get!), and I do understand why the show wants to be true to the emotional unraveling of the stronger version of the relationship that they've set up. But Randgwene is, by far, the thing where my brain inserts book knowledge and tries to resist show changes, because I am just constantly startled when they're not broken up yet.
Lanfear and Moiraine trying to work to undermine Rand's relationships with his friends and failing (mostly)! I really liked this touch. It brings out Moiraine's ruthlessness, it shows us how Lanfear is able to play nice to get what she wants (we know she's a great actress, from having first met her as "Selene"), and it also showed that they both underestimated the strength of the EF5 bond and Rand's own willpower. All good things!
I was really glad that (unlike the books) none of the characters blamed Rand for what happened. Nynaeve assumed right away that it was one of the Forsaken. It does still split Rand off from most of his friends (except the one that Lanfear probably MOST wanted him to shake off lol) but he doesn't go to a place that either Moiraine or Lanfear show any interest in him going -- it is Aviendha and Elayne who shape the direction of Rand's next move forward, and we see him fully willing to take someone's advice when they're actually offering advice and not trying to force him into doing something by seeing him listen to Elayne and ultimately decide that she's got the right idea (this is also one of the things in book canon that made Elayne fall in love with Rand -- that he listens to her advice).
Interestingly, I don't think anyone else actually knows that it's Elayne's advice that Rand is following here, which kinda makes her a secret ace in the hole when it comes to political knowledge and advice. If we do all meet up in Tear at the start of s4, it's Elayne who will have set Rand up for success -- both in suggesting he go to the Aiel first, and potentially by that letter that we saw her send out (depending on how that goes!).
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doctor-hopper · 9 months ago
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I'm really tempted to comb through his lines about luck and write meta on it, because even off the top of my head, looking only at DR2/Dangan Island content, it's like
His FTEs frame bad luck as being part of good luck: bad thing leads into something good enough to compensate
But he has at least one Dangan Island line where he anticipates something bad after experiencing something good
And interestingly considers nothing much happening to him to be bad luck in Dangan Island's ending, even though he had a good time, which warrants some unpacking (my current hypothesis is it's because his impending death is making him desperate to make his life meaningful, not 'waste' his remaining time)
Not all of his examples fall neatly into his luck cycle model, especially not the FTE version where the events are connected. The diagnosis and HPA admission were separate-ass events, in DI's ending he expected his convo with Hinata to go well because of the aforementioned general '''bad''' luck too, the events of chapter 5 are hard to sort into the model, some DI interactions make it sound like he just has extreme outcomes sometimes (eg. he'd win capture the flag first try every single time), etc etc.
I have a feeling at least some of the way he talks about his luck is copium, especially in his FTEs since he really had to focus on the idea of bad -> good in the killing game. But as you say, he could have been intentionally oversimplifying... and if he actually thought the cycle worked both ways, saying he lives in fear of bad things every time something good randomly happens might've veered too close to genuine vulnerability. Which he avoided (by his standards anyway- I think he lacked awareness of how bad the kidnapping + plane stories were) until the final FTE.
Either way, I definitely need to scrutinise his lines more :'D
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A ton of good points! Komaeda’s luck is fascinating and nowhere near as clear-cut as he originally makes it sound. Fics where he tries to “game the system” and finally gain some sort of control over his luck are interesting—but honestly, I feel like he’s already been trying to do that for as long as he’s lived. And he exercises an impressive amount of power under those restraints! But…also.
As for anticipating something bad after experiencing something good, I do think the way Komaeda portrays the order of events is just what he tells himself and/or Hinata. In reality, good and bad luck are two sides of the same coin to him—the real important part isn’t the order, it’s that nothing good can happen without something bad happening too. Everything has a price. Luck is a zero-sum game.
(He touches on this again in 2.5 when he says there’s “a fixed amount of luck in the world” and so he’s content to suffer the bad luck for everyone else’s benefit. In the dream-world sim, the luck he experiences is apparently “ideal”, but it still has to exist. There still has to be an Omelas child of sorts. Komaeda would just rather it be himself.)
As for good being caused by bad vs. just following it, it definitely happens both ways and he’s definitely contradicted himself. Beyond that, even, there are cases in the game where it’s not totally clear what sort of cycle is involved in the luck he experiences. In 2-1, he draws the short straw simply because he wanted to. Was the bad…offscreen? Was it the killing game itself? Would “being forced to clean” actually count as bad luck even if he wanted it? Was it then followed by the good luck of finding the secret passage? People hypothesize that his luck works differently in the simulation according to his own belief, which would complicate things even more, but I’m sort of back-and-forth on that theory. There are arguably examples of luck working the way Komaeda claims it does in DR2, also—such as getting the Despair Disease the worst out of anyone thanks to his compromised immune system, but being able to discover in the hospital that Tsumiki was the culprit. ending up in the hospital but meeting a lovey-dovey nurse GONE WRONG
I’ve always read the Island Mode ending as copium myself. I do definitely think he was hoping for a chance to die meaningfully on the island, and I guess in his mind that could be bad luck, but it doesn’t really fit his model. The way he tries to nudge Hinata into agreeing it’s bad luck, the scene reads to me like he just needs to believe it’s bad luck so he can solemnly ask Hinata to be his friend. (And I think it’s notable that in the word he uses for friend here is 友達 tomodachi, which in this context could be understood as more of a personal friend—everywhere else, he’s used the word 仲間 nakama, comrades, to refer to the whole class as a unit.) And remember, being loved by someone is another way that Komaeda’s death could have meaning—so even if he didn’t end up in the climactic situation he was expecting, perhaps he’s realized there’s another way to get what he wants. :’)
But, yeah, what decides if something is good or bad luck for Komaeda though? I think even that’s not always clear to him.
I’ve heard the view that it “gives him what he immediately wants while taking away what is subconsciously valuable to him” (from TheAmityElf, I think) which is interesting, especially to play with as a writing tool, but not ultimately convincing. Some events could be loosely mapped to that pattern, but others contradict it a bit—you can’t tell me he just wanted money, and he did actively try to turn down his invitation to Hope’s Peak.
Which is now also making me think: Since the diagnoses and the invitation weren’t directly related, do you think he even connected them in his mind at first? What if he didn’t, and so he was afraid that by going to Hope’s Peak he would be invoking even more bad luck yet to come?
One more interesting dimension of his luck to think about is whether it hurts others vs. himself. In 2.5 it only hurts Komaeda, but that’s not quite the direct opposite of his real luck, because his real luck gave him cancer and dementia! However, it also does seem to be proactive in protecting him from actual death in both 2.5 and the rest of canon.
I’ll conclude this reply with this…relevant blackout poetry (blackout infographic?) I made years ago and which you suddenly reminded me of, lmao.
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Silly coda: This is why Komaeda’s favorite word is eucatastrophe.
(…How lucky, then, that people say “Komaeda, eucatastrophe!” to him all the time!)
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chasedflames-a · 2 months ago
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               [       𖤓       ]    Alright,  so  I've  done  some  thinking  since  the  first  post  I  made  after  doing  the  HSR  update  and  I  want  to  write  out  my  whole  realization  and  theories  about  what's  really  happening  on  Amphoreus.  Of  course,  for  spoiler  reasons,  things  are  under  the  cut. 
So  first  thing  is  first,  we  know  there  is  a  lord  ravager  on  (  or  in  ←  this  will  be  explained  )  Amphoreus.  While  Lygus  might  be  clearly  behind  some  things,  he  doesn't  appear  to  be  entirely  dishonest  in  his  telling  Herta  the  real  threat  here.  I  believe  100%  that  the  lord  ravager  is  Phainon.  Whether  it  is  the  Flame  Reaver  version  or  Phainon  himself  remains  to  be  seen.  But  after  the  leaks  we  see  of  his  light  cone  and  other  form,  it  is  hard  to  mistake  him  for  someone  who  received  Nanook's  power. 
Second  point:  Amphoreus  is  not  a  planet.  I've  seen  a  lot  of  people  try  to  debunk  this  not  being  apart  of  Hi3rd's  story  and  that  it's  not  an  Elysian  Realm,  but  I  believe  that  it  is.  And  it  all  lies  in  what  they  said  about  March  being  lost  in  Amphoreus.  We've  never  really  seen  how  she  would  react  if  her  consciousness  was,  say,  removed  from  her  body.  If  she  is  an  emanator  (  made  clear  by  the  gun  in  Herta's  ship  not  being  able  to  read  her  )  of  the  Remembrance,  then  it  makes  sense  her  body  would  react  to  protect  her,  thus  encasing  her  in  ice  for  the  time  being.  Also,  we  never  really  see  the  ship  that  Dan  Heng  and  the  Trailblazer  were  on  crash  on  the  planet.  We  simply  see  a  whirlwind  and  then  suddenly  they  are  there.  We  have  no  reason  to  believe  that  they  actually  crashed.  My  theory  is  that  getting  close  to  whatever  actual  place  this  is  pulled  them  into  the  simulation  happening.  Either  to  protect  their  secret  or  defend  against  them.  Either  way,  this  is  all  an  Elysian  Realm  type  scenario. 
Third  point:  Phainon  is  a  sim  of  Kevin.  In  Hi3rd,  Mei  brings  up  a  VERY  valid  point  about  the  sims  in  Elysian  Realm: 
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They  are  sentient.  They  are  completely  able  to  shape  their  own  identity.  We  also  know  that  it  is  entirely  possible  for  someone  to  have  copied  the  flame  chasers  again  and  run  even  more  scenarios  with  them.  And  that  brings  me  to  Elysia  and  the  Remembrance.  Elysia  once  said  that  she  was  the  gatekeeper  of  the  Elysian  Realm.  Essentially  the  protector  of  their  memories,  keeping  everything  intact.  Mem,  who  we  know  is  Elysia,  shows  up  at  the  beginning  because  she  is  there  to  protect  them.  Hence  her  essentially  being  the  glue  that's  holding  everything  together.  Still  uncertain  her  particular  objective  here  since  we  were  left  with  that  insane  cliffhanger  of  Cyrene  showing  up,  but  I  do  believe  she  is  protecting  them  all  from  who  or  whatever  is  running  them  through  all  this. 
Third  point:  Mobius  is  involved  in  some  way.  Let's  go  back  to  my  theory  that  Voracity  is  involved.  Voracity's  path  follows  Oroboros,  which  we  know  is  the  all  devouring  serpent.  Oroboros'  symbol  represents  infinity,  which  was  Mobius'  signet.  I  have  a  strong  feeling  that  somehow  she  will  show  up.  Whether  is  a  physical  form  or  in  some  sort  of  mentioning.  In  any  case,  I  believe  that  somehow  Oroboros  is  involved  in  everything  happening.  The  symbol  of  infinity  is  too  important  a  thing  to  overlook. 
So  to  summarize,  Phainon  is  Kevin's  sim  that  was  gazed  upon  by  Nanook  at  some  point  and  is  now  a  lord  ravager  (  when  this  happened,  who  knows  )  and  they  are  keeping  him  locked  up  trying  to  control  his  powers  for  possibly  a  good  reason???  Anyways,  this  is  all  just  speculation.  I  could  be  totally  wrong,  but  I  guess  we'll  find  out  soon  enough. 
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lanonima · 2 months ago
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Talking about anime @docholligay and @sola-nine
*prefacing this with I don't like watching things in Japanese so I watch anime in English and donghua in Chinese, those are the specific versions that I'm talking about
**also not including Mushi-Shi, Kino's Journey (2003), or Frieren as Doc already watched some of/is watching those, though I'm happy to talk about them!
It's a little bit long. It's 10 anime I love a lot, and sort of roughly in order of things Doc might like from most to least likely...?
Starting with the queen of my heart, my most beloved, probably will not ever be dethroned
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The Twelve Kingdoms (2002)
I said a little bit yesterday but this is primarily about a girl who gets violently ripped away from everything she knows and dropped in the middle of the strange, hostile land by herself after being told that she is supposed to be the queen of these people that she knows nothing about. It has a focus on iskeai as something difficult and horrific that isn't present in a lot of shows of this nature. I love the art, I love the character writing, I love the whole package.
As the title says though it does focus on more than just one kingdom, and there are running themes about what it means to be a chosen one, who's doing the choosing, and what they have to gain by telling people that they're special.
My only complaint is that the last few episodes start the next major story arc and then get cut off, so it always leaves me wanting more u__u
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Eighty-Six (2021)
Look my top 3 anime had been Twelve Kingdoms, Mushi-Shi, and Kino's Journey for almost 20 years until this show came along lmao
I do think that you probably should at least Enjoy: mecha shows, war dramas, and/or post-apocalyptic stories to really love this, but I still think that this is a perfect example of its genre and one of the best animes I've ever seen, if not the best. I read the first novel and while I think the base story is solid, it gains a lot from being adapted into a visual media because they're just so clever with how they do things!
I would say the running themes of this one are what it means to be human, what it means to be alive, and what it means to be able to make your own choices in life (as well as the cost of war on the people involved in it).
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Fantastic Children (2004)
This is perhaps my most obscure cut, at least as far as the purpose of this list goes, but I love this anime. I liked it a lot when I was young and finally got a chance to rewatch it about a year or two ago and not only did it hold up but I actually like it more as an adult than I did before.
Probably the anime that I have the most pretentious things to say about. I don't know how to talk about it without giving a lot away but running themes are death and loss and reincarnation and the effects of not being allowed to die.
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Link Click (2021)
Chinese show about two guys who can enter the past using photographs and the ways that this goes compoundingly wrong almost immediately. The first two seasons are both really solid, I'm still part of the way through season three so I can't say for sure that it continues to stick the landing, but so far the third season has also been really good.
I don't want to say too much about it (again) because it's mostly mystery and suspense, but it's difficult to do time travel stuff well and I think this is a very interesting take on it that hasn't let me down so far.
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Trigun (1998)
I know that most people preferred Cowboy Bebop as their sort of Space Western choice but Trigun has always been my favorite.
While it might be a little bit goofier than Doc would particularly prefer (the show is definitely over-the-top), it is another fun example of a character who suffers for his choice to be a pacifist.
The new one is okay, but it's missing some key things in my opinion. (why would they not make the main characters insurance claims investigators, that is such a funny choice and they should never have gotten rid of it, also the guns are really boring compared to the original)...I just like the old one lot more.
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.Hack//Sign (2002)
I know these days there's a lot (A LOT) of shows about characters getting trapped in video games but you know what, this one was here first and it's still one of the best.
I think it's fun that only one character is actually trapped in the game. Everyone else plays as normal, and the other players who encounter them end up getting pulled into this mystery of who they are and why they're stuck and what is actually holding together this game that they love so much. And it also deals a little bit with their lives outside of the game too. This has just been one of my favorite animes for a long time and it's a very solid choice in my opinion.
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Last Exile (2003)
It's been so long since I've seen this one that I think I will struggle to talk about it succinctly, but I've loved it for a long time (also has one of my favorite soundtracks NOT made by either Yuki Kajiura or Hiroyuki Sawano).
Essentially airship delivery pilots get pulled into horrific and mostly senseless conflict happening between their country and another country, there's a lot about the spirit of exploration and how the greed of the upper class is destroying the planet and how you can do totally horrific things and not be censured for it because ~it's not war crimes as long as it's following the rules of chivalry~.
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The Heroic Legend of Arslan (2015)
Arlsan is a Story Of All Time for me and while I don't know which adaptation is definitively my favorite, I wouldn't necessarily say the newest anime is it…but it is certainly one of the most accessible in terms of availability and also understandability. (I have a soft spot for the 90s OVAs but they don't explain Jack Shit about anything. Beautiful art though). I do actually like the new manga more than its anime but I do still enjoy the anime too. Also this newest adaptation was spearheaded by the chick that wrote FMA so the art is familiar haha
Anyway this is a historical political war drama set in a fake medieval Persia and deals with issues of war, religion (lots of tie in to the Crusades), inheritance, what it means to be a good king, etc.
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The Elusive Samurai (2024)
This is a partially fictionalized account of a real historical figure from Japanese history. Most of the characters are children and it does lean a little bit into juvenile humor BUT I've been saying it all along, ever since the manga started coming out, if you like historical war dramas, you should check this out.
Also if you're a big fan of animation, you should check this out. The animation in the peaceful scenes is beautiful but the animation in the action scenes is stunningly fluid and experimental.
I love this one enough that I watched the anime as it came out in Japanese which is really saying something, and the experience of watching it did not disappoint me.
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Seraph of the End (2015)
I will be fair and say that I don't think this anime has much, if anything, for Doc but I love it. It's created by people who thought "I want to write about A, B, C, D, E, and F" but never had the thought that maybe those should be separate stories...it has everything. It has vampires, it has demons and demonic possession, it has horrible plagues as proof of divine wrath, it has an interesting idea about angels, it has the apocalypse, it has monsters, it has cults, it has human experimentation, it has political maneuvering, it has battle and strategy, it has high school bullshit, it has a decent helping of homoeroticism...
Not to say that I have no complaints about the show, I certainly have some complaints, but nothing that seriously affects my enjoyment of it. Do I think that the authors know where they're going with any of this? Absolutely not. Do I think that they're going to be able to land any of the planes they have in the air? I also have no idea.
I think anime is insane, and I personally think that it's really fun. That's all.
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crossdressingdeath · 2 years ago
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Thinking about the disappointing ending to Durge's personal quest and how they either go full villain or lose most of what makes them unique as a character and basically just become Tav, and like... since Durge's death and immediate resurrection adds nothing to the plot (and what with things like the companions not responding to it, there being no clear reason why Durge is able to do something that Withers specifically says breaks cosmology and Withers apparently being unable to resurrect Durge if they kill themself to defy Bhaal at the very end of the game for no apparent reason it actually causes a surprising number of problems in the writing), why couldn't the good ending just involve finding a way to stop Bhaal from interfering in their life rather than Bhaal killing them?
Here's one potential solution, just off the top of my head. All the other origins' personal quests have trade-offs, right? Durge is the only one with this perfect "you get everything you want with no downsides" sort of ending. So what if instead of Bhaal killing them and them immediately getting brought back, they had to make a deal with him? He sets them free, and in exchange they do something for him. I can't think of what the exact terms would be, maybe something like... I don't know, "You'll uphold the usual 'murder once a tenday' tenets of the Bhaalists and if you stop you're mine again" that wouldn't really do anything in the game itself but would become an issue afterwards (like Astarion losing the ability to walk in sunlight if he remains a spawn and Wyll losing his warlock powers if he breaks his contract)? But whatever the terms are the upshot is that Bhaal removes the Urge as a show of good faith and the party is allowed to leave freely. Maybe also add in something like Shar still harassing Shadowheart if she spares her parents, like... maybe Bhaal removing the Urge and agreeing not to force Durge into their apocalyptic destiny doesn't mean he can't try to convince them to do it of their own will, so he occasionally pops into their head and tries to push them in a more murdery direction in a less aggressive version of the Urge that can't directly take over them? Or possibly just. hurts them out of spite because as long as he doesn't do anything permanent or force them to harm anyone else he's remaining within the bounds of their agreement. And that way they remain a piece of Bhaal's divine gore with everything that entails, they're just not on Bhaal's leash anymore. And they've also agreed to do something pretty fucked up of their own (coerced) will in exchange for their freedom, so they don't retain the annoyingly spotless moral high ground of the canon end of redemption Durge's story where they selflessly die rather than become Bhaal's apocalypse-triggering Chosen again.
You could even keep that "I'd rather die than serve you" energy without actually pulling the trigger: since Durge is actually a part of Bhaal rather than just his child like other Bhaalspawn, maybe they'd have ammunition for forcing Bhaal to bargain with them that regular Bhaalspawn don't. Like, say... maybe since they're a part of Bhaal them being destroyed utterly would do a fair amount of damage to him (which may have something to do with why they can be resurrected despite that usually being impossible for Bhaalspawn), and—to keep Withers's involvement in the quest, since that's actually really fun and given his distaste for Bhaal makes sense—the death god they're palling around can help make that complete destruction happen. Under those circumstances it would be better for Bhaal to lose them as his Chosen and mess up that particular plan for total victory rather than continue to try to force them and weaken himself permanently! I think if nothing else all that wouldn't make less sense than the canon ending.
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icecreamfoxes · 3 months ago
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6/25/24
12:37 pm @ Alamitos Beach, Long Beach, CA
Ok. Things I’ve been reflecting & learning & being damn tested on. Random bits.
I need to/will make this magazine/zine/online version
For not only myself, but for the ones that are appearing back into my life again.
I’ve been cuddling w/ the Earth at the beach while I lay down. I’ve been trying to be immovable, or maybe not that but “unaffected” I guess.
I keep being tested. In situations where I’m faced with the lessons I’m meant to implement just over & over again. It actually feels like finals week. Life finals & tidbit tests to see if I’m capable / able / willing to / deserving of better levels & layers to come.
I feel like I have to “help” so many. I’ve been putting year after year doing this in intimate settings. Relationships, being divorced. aha! That’s one. Nothing bad, no judgment from myself. That’s been a bigger theme. I’ve been judging & fighting with different parts of them & myself. It gets jumbled up.
I see people pretty lost as well, and a lot more silenced by it. It’s a silence that they don’t even understand they’re creating by not saying, by suppressing, bottling up. The more I love though, it’s so cliche but it’s very true & it’s really what makes people be / feel seen. That’s another big one! Being seen & loved. I feel like I give that a lot, it’ll take a lot out of me but I always replenish. Because it’s what I am.
I know I veered off a bit of times. That’s all natural though & that’s in the realm of “love”. But anyways, I digress. Jk <3
So. The more I’ve loved & forgiven myself, over & over again. It’s more and more layered.
I guess that comes with practice though. You realize & see all you didn’t know you didn’t know. It’s nice to breathe it out. It’s not always comfy. I remember a time where I really didn’t think forgiveness was a thing. I knew this wasn’t true & that it is but in that phase that’s all I could say.
“It’s hard to let you come on in & let you know that I was hurt” - My mans Chaz (“Blessa” - Toro Y Moi)
Search for love & light in every second
We also have to practice forgiving all the versions of ourselves that we think we don’t like. Really it’s some type of avoidance or uncharted territory.
You can discern what you want to explore. We have autonomy.
Allowing yourself & people to be “cringe” & any version of themselves that they would just automatically write off. You can write about it, but don’t write it off.
I wrote this after a very mixed year.
I had finally let go of a toxic relationship, after a second abortion, had started meeting and reconnecting with important people who inspired me to keep going. Was let go from work after getting started on more projects and becoming involved with the community and had stopped medication for Depression, Anxiety, and PTSD.
I’m glad a lot of the old flows and day to days were finally starting to fall into a better place for me. It required a lot of letting go. And a lot of new viewpoints.
Things started to come up more and more, as I weened off everything to look for my natural baseline aside from anything outside of myself.
Things that I needed to heal, things I needed to see differently and reflect on.
I knew I needed to express and transmute the experiences I had lived through.
I knew I needed to make something bigger than all of that, especially after getting closer to friends and family and hearing their own unique stories and experiences.
I want to give back to all of this and have been putting the pieces together bit by bit, while also healing these parts of myself.
I know it’s going to take time, more growth and knowledge, and I’m looking forward to the experience, and to eventually share the pages that I create with those who find it and will need it too.
- Carmina 🤍⚡️
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shirajellyfish · 1 year ago
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Director’s cut! What inspired you to write As Long As We Are Loved? Was it something specific or just the general concept of living dolls that caught your interest?
And a follow up question, you mentioned your original concept was different than what you decided in the end (that dolls coming to life was a world established thing). What was your original idea going to involve?
UHHH this got long. I'm sorry!! I'm gonna put it under the read more because oh no, you activated my trap card and the trap is I talk too much
There's an idea I've thought about a lot. Robots are often said to be immortal in fics and other media, but that isn't necessarily true, is it? A mechanical being must be maintained. What happens when one day, there's no one who will maintain them? Or no one who will make for them the replacement parts they require? A robot might live for a very very long time, or they might live for only a few years before being discarded. They have no set lifespan, they will live for as long as they are loved.
I think that's what grabbed me. The idea of something that literally requires someone's caring to survive. Realizing that unaging is not the same as immortal, seeing how neglect can eat at anything. The idea of being able to give that needed love and care, to take something nearly lost to neglect and to love them until they are well again. Plus I just really, really enjoy slowburn healing.
My original idea was a future where many people have robots of their own. All very pretty, all very perfect, all very well maintained. Each one perfect, so much so that one might assume they will be perfect forever. Then Reader would discover what happens when one is no longer wanted. They'd randomly see a Sun (one they'd never met before) in a dumpster, holding tight to a badly mangled Moon. The Sun would be still active, but not really reacting anymore. Resigned, just waiting for his battery to run out. Reader would then of course be horrified, taking the two in and fixing them up. The original idea also had a separate body Sun and Moon that would become two AIs in one body as Moon's original body was going to be too broken to fix.
I decided to go doll AU for two reasons. Firstly, because an animatronic version of this story wouldn't be anything new for me to write. I See You Sundrop already has a lot of long repair scenes. It already has repair as a form of care and kindness. It already has situations where an animatronic's life is likely to end soon, but that is prevented because someone cares too much to allow that to happen. I didn't want to write the same thing all over again, so I needed something else.
That's where the second reason comes in- I just really wanted more doll AUs. There are only a few floating around on AO3, and none are quite the genre I was hoping for with that concept. If what you want to read doesn't exist, you have to write it yourself, right? Well here we are, an opportunity to write it myself haha (My biggest hope is that someone will read my fic and go "We should write more doll fics actually." Feed me the content.)
I decided to make living dolls normal in this universe just because with this concept, I felt like the whole "omg magic doll" stuff would get in the way of the fic's actual themes. I did once have a "spooky haunted jester dolls off ebay" concept once, but that one never grabbed me hard enough to actually invest the time to write it- or at least it hasn't yet. Dolls or animatronics or something else, I always wanted to make everything going on 'normal' for the universe it was set in.
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loversj0y · 2 years ago
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am i the only one who has a boiling hatred for fanon ghostbur?
Like--- I'm neutral about canon ghostbur.
But i really really hate how so many people went as far as saying that Ghostbur was all the good parts of Wilbur.
That is just so wrong---- ghostbur has the good memories, but not all the good parts. it just drives me nuts.
ghostbur wasn't good for c!tommy or anyone coping with wilbur's death
it wasn't his fault, but people need to stop depicting him as they do
ohohoho i specifically waited to get to this until i had my laptop because i love me some character analysis! so. lets talk ghostbur!
disclaimer: these are opinions, i didnt write the character, this is just how id analyze ghostbur and audience portrayal of him
so something i think people dont note about ghostbur a lot is the fact that he is not wilbur in a much more real sense than people realize. something that revivebur kind of touches on but people dont really note (in my opinion) is the way the memories and your actions during memories actually shape you as a person. ghostbur could never be all the good parts of wilbur because without the negative memories, he could never have knowledge of how he can be good in negative scenarios, like being good towards tommy in darker times. this is one of the biggest things that makes ghostbur not healthy for the characters around him, and why wilbur being revived is so important to wilbur's overall character arc
ghostbur is the image of wilbur if he never dealt with significant problems, never caused problems or engaged in them, because he only has good memories, he's never seen himself in a negative situation (think to how ghostbur reacts to philza telling him fundy wants to be "adopted" by someone else (i cant remember who at the moment))
when people tell him of his own negative consequences, he literally cannot react in a way of genuine remorse. he feels guilt because he learns that the living version of himself did those things, but he cant actually give any apology that would be beneficial to anyone involved. ghostbur cant apologize for something he cant remember doing because he doesn't know why he acted in those ways.
we can contrast this with when revivebur tries to later apologize (im thinking particularly to fundy) and how when fundy asks why he did those things, he tells him about how he wasn't well mentally. even though fundy doesn't accept the apology (in a very. drastic way), revivebur can actually acknowledge his own motivations, which allows him to actually have a chance as being forgiven.
ghostbur doesnt know any of those motivations, which is why his character is unhealthy. he is literally a ghost of the man he once was, so even though people want genuine answers, before knowing he was going to be revived, they had to realize that ghostbur is basically a punching bag for them to push their issues with c!wilbur onto because ghostbur cant actually respond in any meaningful way in terms of remorse and forgiveness.
also, as for the audience portrayal, i think people got very caught up on the "sweet ghost boy" image rather than what he actually is and how he actually affects the characters. he literally haunts them and reminds them of all the trauma c!wilbur gave them, while knowing that he can't actually answer for any of it because he doesn't remember hurting them
its a very famous philosophical argument (i believe by kant) about the concept of "if someone has no memory of committing a crime, can they actually serve time for it?" because if you have no memory of doing something, can you actually learn from and grow from your experiences?
because ghostbur cant. and thats what hurts the people around him so much. people like c!tommy and c!philza who geniunely care about c!wilbur and want him to be okay know that ghostbur is not that answer because he can't grow from memories he doesnt remember playing a part in, so it hurts to see someone you love be constantly stuck in place of never being able to grow and never being able to answer for all the things you want to ask.
ghostbur is so important to c!wilburs arc because he reminds people not to seek justice on those who can't answer for it. some people actually recognize this, some don't, and some just avoid him like a plague because it hurts.
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chloepleasestopdying · 1 year ago
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There’s like a hundred fics I won’t write. Here are some of them:
Criminal Minds crossover, either version; version A, where the FBI gets called in when Max and Victoria get kidnapped and the FBI team have to find them. Max believes that Chloe is dead because she was shot before she was kidnapped but the FBI find her in the graveyard on the edge of death and Max gets shot herself in a standoff with Jefferson.
Version B, where the FBI get called in after a what they believe is a murder spree. Max and Chloe kill a pair of cops and conveniently the dash cam is missing. The FBI slowly uncovers the fact that the Arcadia Bay police are trying to cover up the Prescott’s mess and the girls were just defending themselves.
Both of these are a bit too dark for my tastes, so they won’t be written.
The Wilds crossover; basically Max and Chloe are part of the original experiment due to their past friendship and falling out. I like the idea of Chloe struggling with being the oldest girl there and also trying to stay mad at Max. I’m still crushed about The Wilds being canceled so I won’t be writing this.
The ‘Max and Rachel death match’ AU. Essentially this AU involves Chloe and Max meeting up the summer before Max comes to Blackwell and making up enough that they begin dating. Chloe and Rachel have been an on and off thing for years and had a huge blowout fight, which is the reason Chloe was in Seattle in the first place, but Max (not knowing the full context of what happened) says that Rachel is Chloe’s friend and tells her it’s fine that they make up. Rachel, having a host of issues going on, reacts really badly to possibly loosing Chloe and tries to cheat with Chloe. This ends up blowing up in her face. Max and Rachel then kinda have this low key kind of war for a while before Rachel owns up to her mistakes and apologizes. Not going to write this one because I feel bad about making Rachel a bad guy and I don’t think I could write her struggling in that way well enough to justify it.
‘Baby trap’ AU. Max is coming off a really toxic relationship with Warren when she meets up with Chloe again in their early twenties. They both acknowledge that there is something between them but due to their issues (Max’s toxic relationship and Chloe’s resent struggles with addiction) want to move slow. However this is quickly fucked up by the fact that Max discovered she’s pregnant due to a purposely pieced condom by Warren. This AU is much fluffier than it sounds, as Chloe quickly steps up as being a ‘dad’. I won’t be writing this AU for a similar reason as above, I’d feel bad about making Warren out to be a bad guy. Plus a don’t actually like babies.
The ‘Ryan is Ryan’ AU where Ryan Lucan is also Ryan Caulfield due to time travel shenanigans. I was never able to make this one work very well but the basic idea is that Ryan Lucan has time related powers too but more uncontrollable than Max’s and got stuck in the past when trying to save Gabe. He was unable to travel back to his own time and started a family in the past with Max’s mother. He has come to believe that messing with time is extremely dangerous but when he learns that Max and Chloe are in Haven Springs around the same time that Gabe dies he decides to act. I never got this idea to work despite my liking of it so I won’t be writing it anytime soon.
DAO AU, not to be confused with the DAI AU. Max is mage who gets taken to the tower later in life compared to most while Chloe is something of a modified Ash Warrior. William bred and trained mabari and Chloe has somewhat continued that tradition with something of a tempest flare. Her special interest is in different Kaddis’s and her desire is to expand the war paint, not just to humans but also the effects. Her quest for finding a recipe for a warpaint that prevents the Blight almost kills her— luckily she’s found by the last Gray Wardens in the kingdom who just so happen to include her old friend Max, who got taken along with Surana when Duncan was visiting the tower. Not going to write this one due to it being similar to the DAI AU.
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fiepige · 2 years ago
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More Sea Serpent Hobie thoughts!
(been thinking about this au all day, it's completely consumed my mind!)
I was kinda toying with the idea of Hobie being able to take a human form. (In this version most people wouldn't know that sea serpents exist so he uses it as a way to interact with humans without revealing his true nature to them)
He visits a small local fishing village from time to time to hang out with the locals- mostly at the pub, but he also likes hanging around at the harbour
Cause he just gets lonely sometimes and humans make fun company- he finds tales about daring trips to sea entertaining, but he also loves to hear stories about places from far within the mainland as he's always stayed close to the ocean.
Nobody in the village knows what he really is- they all just think he's this odd but kind loner who visits from time to time.
He's well renowned by the people in the village, both for being a nice and helpful guy and because of his unique skills*
He never pays for anything in cash but instead in old trinkets and treasures he finds while out at sea - this resulted in a few arguments at first, but now people have come to accept it, some even look forward to seeing what he'll pull out as payment whenever he visits
if he doesn't have any treasure to pay with he'll offer to pay in favours- specifically favours that involve diving.
*If you need a diving job done he's your guy
He can stay underwater forever and go far deeper than any of the locals.
So if you need to retrieve something from, let's say a sunken ship, he's your guy!
He insists on going on missions alone- it's just easier to get it done if he can dive unseen in his serpent form.
The only people he doesn't get along with are authority figures and whalers!
There aren't any whalers residing in the village but sometimes a whaling boat will come by to restock. Every time they do Hobie terrorizes the crew as much as he can get away with. While also being very vocal about his opinion of them in general. He's gotten in fights with them more than once.
It's also not unusual for the whalers to find their ship vandalised if they stay overnight.
When he's in his human form he lives on a small island near the village, but far enough away that he can't be seen changing from serpent to human form and vice versa
He has a small hut where he keeps some fishing equipment (mostly for show in case a human comes by and wonders how he's able to feed himself on this tiny island) as well as a small garden where he grows different greens.
He'll trade his food for stuff with the villages, he mostly trades for clothes, sewing equipment or beer at the pub
Sometimes he'll disappear at sea for weeks at a time- if any of the villagers question him about it he'll just say he was out fishing- despite him only owning a small rowboat with a small engine, that doesn't work half the time. - He uses it to get to and from the island in human form as to not alert the villagers to his true form.
At some point he befriends Gwen**, who's a newcommer, when a local overhears her lamenting the loss of her mother's trinket at sea, and they suggest she asks Hobie for help- since the guy has a way of finding things lost at sea
Gwen doesn't really believe he can actually find it but seeks him out nonetheless cause it can't hurt to ask
Hobie accepts the job. In exchange he wants Gwen to tell him about the places she's been to before she moved to the village.
(** you can kinda replace Gwen with any character you want. I'm kinda considering making a small fic for this au where the reader takes Gwen's place, but I don't have the time nor energy to write it any time soon. Also I've never written a fic from the first person point of view so I'm not sure how it would turn out lol.)
Lemme know what you guys think! 💙Any input is welcome- it can be world building stuff, story stuff, ideas for hobie's serpent form or something else!
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unkillability · 3 months ago
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b c d for slevin for lore reasons
bc youre obsessed with slevin
B) What inspired you to create them?
i know i make it sound like skip+slevin just clock in at the kys office (as if its a normal office where you also sometimes kill people, which isnt grossly inaccurate tbf) but at some point i realized i wanted an external perspective on skip during her decade in the kys pit and also that in all practicality, she needed a handler/secretary/mission control/partner w/e because she has absolutely zero interest in doing non-physically intensive busywork. theres a lot of weird unseen moving parts around skips life and the things that happen to her/that shes in involved in, but she herself is pretty directionless. like she’s generally compelled to act, but her motivations really boil down to being wound up and let go in the most destructive way possible. slevin is more or less her insurance/accountability/anti-lock brakes and naturally has to work in a sort of synergy with her.
C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?
not reeeeallly but he definitely became more important later on which threw a wrench in things. (i got attached.) slevin wasn't supposed to be very significant but I realized it's impossible to make someone spend a million hours functionally handcuffed to skip without them being like. interesting ? or able to hold their own? she wouldve killed herself/him otherwise.  (slevin was originally meant as an associate that skip didnt really like or find compelling, but when i was actually writing him i realized that didn't make any sense given her character.)
D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?
pretty much ? i don't think there was ever a version of slevin that was unrecognizable as slevin, unlike my other main ocs who i've had since early highschool. though i've def put more thought and care into his design since i started giving a fuck about him as a character- i did make him an unambiguous bottle blonde out of respect. 
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deadn30n-arch · 3 months ago
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i think two of my favourite things about having decided to throw my version of OG!Luo Binghe into the HSR universe are;
A) his ability to finally build meaningful connections with the people around him that doesn't involve subterfuge, constantly keeping his guard up, or people tripping over themselves just to fuck him. and by this, i mean building those connections in a space separate from everything that reminded him of the haunts of his past. a place where he's not consistently reminded that he's destroyed everything that ever opposed him but he still can't fully escape the ghosts of his past, because he's in said place. granted, i do sincerely believe back in his world he did have meaningful connections with some of his wives, but over time those connections kind of degraded due to the unraveling of his mind. it's hinted at that despite having attained everything he could've ever wanted for himself, he wasn't completely happy. i don't fault any of his wives for that either; i'm sure there were SOME that were probably just using him for status, money, etc etc but i do also believe that -- at least before his soul fully blackened -- his connection with girls like Ning YingYing or Liu Mingyan or even Sha Hualing were definitely genuine, at least at first. but again, over time, those connections degraded for a variety of reasons that wasn't wholly the women's fault whatsoever, but primarily fault of his own fragile mind. he may not show it, but i think his trauma left a profound and lasting effect on him that he's barely been able to keep a lid on. pair that with Xin Mo's incessant need to dominate him and take over, trying to turn him into a senseless killing machine and he probably has been losing himself for a while. he grew cold, detached, might even have started hallucinating to some degree
and
B) MY ability to actually deep dive into his psyche and explore the things he feels, thinks, and the various impending breakdowns he'll suffer through. i've mentioned before that his reason for becoming a Stellaron Hunter is literally for 'the death of mind' ( erasing the memories that torture him the most ) and the bitterness he holds for what was done to him. being separated from his home and thrown into a place where everything is unfamiliar && brand new opens the perfect gateway for him to start considering other aspects of life he hadn't previously considered, to try out and walk down different paths, and even possibly experience what it's like to heal from what he endured. i really really REALLY love the aspect of being able to pick apart the various nuances of his psyche, apply them in different forms of rp, and have him meet && interact with all different types of people he never really got to in his home. also, becoming a Stellaron Hunter allows him to understand a special brand of loyalty shared between a small and specific group unified underneath a similar goal. like a family of sorts but a very unique definition of 'family' ( for him ). there's literally nothing i love writing more than exploring the most intricate facets of a specific character by breaking down what makes them complex and applying it into writing both subtly and not. being able to expose things that are otherwise carefully hidden away and just asdlfkjsdlkj I'M SORRY I LOVE COMPLEX CHARACTERS A LOT
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