#i also love to drive myself to distraction thinking about what it must feel like to lose so much power and be facing imminent doom and

[nysscientia]

okay but Wyll is like. a prodigy, actually. and I want to talk about that more

like he is a folk hero for a reason. it's not just because he's so nice to people. he is also an incredible adventurer.

when you meet him in the Grove, he is on a level with you—but dialogue makes it clear that's because the tadpole fucked with his capabilities. if you have him around and hear his little interparty exchanges and reactive lines, he talks about things he's done as the Blade of Frontiers, and they include wrestling a giant one-on-one, and fighting a dragon. by himself.

he fought a dragon by himself!!

like (spoilers for end of game), even when you fight a dragon in the finale, you're not doing it ALONE. you have 3 other party members and as many allies as you care to summon. WYLL WAS ALONE IN THE WOODS WITH WHATEVER SUPPLIES HE COULD SCRAPE TOGETHER AS A SOLO ADVENTURER. AND HE FOUGHT A DRAGON.

by all accounts, I think it's reasonable to guess that before the tadpole, he was more powerful than the level 12 cap that's built into the game. and sure, he's a warlock drawing power from a bond, but most D&D lore I've encountered build in the idea that warlocks need a certain amount of skill and prowess to handle the power offered to them by their patron—there's a reason warlocks and clerics still level up, rather than just shooting to the top of the ladder. PLUS, he had to know how to use that power effectively.

and then!! (spoilers for epilogue) if he does the Avernus version of his ending, he's become a ranger within the 6 months since you've last seen him. and not like, he took a level or two in ranger and he's working his way up to it. he tells you about devils he's killed that are on par with the dangers y'all faced in your adventures—and he's doing this either with only Karlach for company, or possibly even by himself (??? I've only ever had him go with Karlach, I can't stand it). so. he is ALSO now one of the most powerful RANGERS in the realms. IN 6 MONTHS.

which makes sense! he wouldn't lose all his adventuring knowledge and skills just because the pact is ended! but to master an entirely new discipline, magic and all, in such a short time??

WYLL RAVENGARD HERO OF THE REALMS. WYLL RAVENGARD GENIUS OF ADVENTURE. WYLL RAVENGARD CAN DO ANYTHING HE SETS HIS MIND TO

[honeytonedhottie]

cultivating creativity and a deeper understanding of self⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍰

PROMPTED JOURNALING ; 

shadow work and prompted journaling is a rly helpful way to get to know urself better. it cultivates not only creativity and a sense of identity, but also healing.

journal therapy is literally everything and i cannot recommend it enough. some shadow work prompts that you can use to start off are listed below.  

what part of myself do i feel disconnected to and why 

how do i let others invade my boundaries 

what beliefs and behaviors did u adopt from ur family that you now question 

what easily triggers sadness or anger from you. and what might be the deeper reason for this sensitivity

are there desires and ambitions that you feel embarrassed or scared to admit? and why?

journaling mainly involves self expression without fear of judgement. it’s like expressing urself without feeling ashamed so i highly recommend it for anyone who feels like they struggle with self expression. 

SELF EXPRESSION ; 

working on ur self expression also helps to kind of cultivate a sense of identity and knowledge of who you are and what u value. like i mentioned earlier you can express yourself in so many different ways. i’ll get deeper into the self expression aspect in the post. 

PASSION ; 

what are you passionate about? what drives u everyday? is it money? academic validation or academic research? maybe it’s romance or a strong desire for something. 

it’s okay. everyone’s answer might be different but there’s no wrong answer. identify what motivates you and what ur working towards. 

BEING BORED ; 

give yourself the privilege to do nothing. give yourself the luxury of being bored. when ur not doing anything, this frees up ur mind to think and cultivate ideas and concepts, most of the epiphanies that i have are a result of my alone time. 

when there’s nothing to do, you’re forced to think. and most ppl look for distractions and excuses to not spend time by themselves bcuz they don’t wanna spend time in their thoughts. they don’t wanna just be in their mind and i understand cuz at one point i was also in that position. 

to break this habit and be comfortable in ur own mind you must first be uncomfortable. start small, dedicate a small amount time to just lay and think, let ur mind wander as far as you want. and the next day let ur mind wander for a longer amount of time and so on until you can do this comfortably. 

CREATIVE OUTLETS ; 

something that i’ve learned on my journey is that having a creative outlet was rly important for me to be able to cultivate who i wanted to be and to be authentic and original. 

a creative outlet is a way that u can express yourself and your ideas some examples of a creative outlet could be 

pinterest accounts - i have so many pinterest accounts and on those accounts i turn my boards to art. lately i’ve been interested in photography and photos in general so this was rly good for me. 

a blog - starting ur own blog about something that ur passionate about/know a lot about or something that ur learning about is a great way to track progress and document ur journey

a journal - like i’ve mentioned earlier on in the post a journal is the simplest one to do in my opinion and i love it so so much

creating art - whether it’s pinterest boards, paintings, sketches, music, poetry, stories WHATEVER YOU WANT. 

DEEPER UNDERSTANDING ; 

process ur emotions in a thoughtful and efficient way and try looking deeper into ur behavioral patterns and habits. why are you the way you are? 

what are you passionate about? etc etc. cultivate a relationship with yourself through self care and healing work. remember that healing isn’t a linear process and in no case will it be, but i think that u owe it to yourself to know and cultivate urself. 

[emilys-bangs]

Awww congrats on 200 followers lovely!!! You deserve it, I always find myself rereading your works! So I went to the first section Andromeda, saw prompt #1 “Pull over. Let me drive for awhile.” and thought YES that’s an Emily prompt right there 🤣 I feel like Emily being able to immediately sense reader’s feelings would be super sweet. Like maybe it was rough case/day for reader, Emily steps up, and then starts rambling trying to distract reader so they’re both just laughing and even more in love by the end? Will also read whatever you want to write 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Tysm lovely!!! It amazes me that you reread my fics, I'm so happy you like them🥹!! I changed a tiny bit of this at the end, hope you don't mind <3

Word count: 0.9k

Join my celebration here <3

You’re upset. It’s not hard to see—shoulders rising to your ears, your jaw set, the skin pulled tight over your knuckles as you grip the steering wheel. Add that to the lack of your usual easy chatter and Emily’s worried, absently picking at the loose skin around her nail as she tries not to make it too obvious she’s staring.

The case was hard on you. The two of you shared a room this time, so she was more in tune with you than she normally is. She heard the sounds of distress you let out in your sleep almost every night, the way you’d toss and turn on the bed for hours after. Emily didn’t say anything, held back her urge to talk to you about it, but she noticed the restless frustration building in you, the way you poured yourself into the case. 

It ended badly, and you’ve been quiet ever since.

She hadn’t argued when you grabbed the car keys, figuring you’d appreciate the small modicum of control, but it’s been almost half an hour and she’s grown uneasy from your still-tight grip on the wheel. Her eyes flick to your face just in time to see the tick in your clenched jaw.

Before Emily can think about it, the words are out of her mouth. “Pull over,” she says softly, breaking the stillness. “Let me drive for a while.”

You give no indication that you heard her; silence makes her words hang in the air, unanswered. Her worry increases when you don’t protest, simply pulling over and unbuckling your seatbelt. 

Emily gets out of the car and makes her way to the driver’s seat just as you’re getting out. She knows her gaze must be hot on your cheeks, but you don’t look at her. Instead, your gaze tips up, and she follows it.

The one road leading out of town is dark. Apart from the headlights of the car and a few spare street lamps, it’s swathed almost entirely in darkness, and the sky above you is lit up with stars.

“Pretty, aren’t they?” Emily murmurs, desperately trying to draw an answer from your lips.

You hum noncommittally and move past her to get back in the car.

Helplessness crawls up Emily’s throat and settles there like a hard lump. She swallows tightly and gets into the car, briefly unmoored at her reaction to your reaction, unsure why it is that she so desperately wants you to be okay.

The silence is back as she drives off. From the corner of her eye, she sees you rest your head on the window and cross your arms, turning away.

Emily is an expert on body language—she has to be—but this time, she can’t sit and watch you drift away from her, further into your mind.

“Did you recognize any constellations out there?” She blurts out, then winces at the stupid question. 

You’re slow to respond. 

“Think I saw…what was that famous one called? The hunter?”

Relief floods Emily’s veins. “Yeah, Orion.” She nods, turning to get a glimpse of you. Your head is still on the window, but your body is tilted toward hers. Her next breath comes a little easier. “It’s arguably the most recognizable constellation in the Milky Way. It lies on the celestial equator, so it’s visible from both the Northern and Southern Hemispheres.”

“Okay, Reid,” you retort, but the gentleness to your voice tells her you don’t mean any malice. Emily turns and finds a small quirk to your lips; she bites back a smile of her own.

“Yeah, I was a big geek about the stars,” she whispers. Still am. Emily clears her throat. “When I was younger, I used to spend summers in a cabin up in the Alps with my grandfather. He had these huge books about stars and constellations.” You’re quiet next to her, but she sees the way you perk up and shift closer. She never shares her past—or any aspect of her life, really—with anyone, but it’s you, and if it makes you feel even a little bit better, she’ll spell out her whole life’s story for you to hear. 

“The sky was so clear there, it’s insane. I used to draw constellations on the back of my hand and try to search for them in the sky; I spent hours looking up until Grandad called me back. And for each one I’d found, he’d tell me a story.” A wistful smile pulls at her lips. When Emily turns and finds you staring with your head cushioned on your arm, her smile widens.

“Do you want to hear the story of Orion?” She asks softly.

She hears the low whoosh of air as you breathe in, then nod once. “Yeah,” you give her a small smile and warmth spreads all over her body, “I do.”

You’re asleep by the end of it, exhaustion claiming your body, but somehow, at some point, your pinky linked with hers. Both your hands rest on the console now, and Emily looks away from the empty road ahead of her. Your lashes rest on your cheeks, the tense lines of your face relaxing in sleep, and she squeezes your pinky before turning back to the road, her heart somewhat lighter.

taglist: @suckerforcate

[towriteloveontheirarms]

Let me put my lips to something (Alicent Hightower x Reader)

synopsis: Neglected by your husband, you find a confidant in Alicent, who is being treated the same way by her own husband. The depth of that trust and friendship however stay hidden to the two of you until one faithfull evening.

warnings: period typical homophobia, more porn than plot, kissing, oral sex, afab reader

word count: 3k

taglist: @hopelesswritergall, @urmomsgirlfriend1

(If you want to be tagged for a specific character/fandom/series or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

It is late when you knock at the queen´s chambers. You are aware it is, but you don´t know where else to go as well. Trying to keep a neutral expression on your face for the servants that walk by you, your foot taps on the stone floor, until the heavy doors finally open. You can tell Alicent is surprised to see you at this time of day.

“The hour is late. Are you feeling well?” She asks with worry coating her voice.

It takes a while for you to find your own voice as you see her standing in front of you however. She looks so beautiful. Her curly, auburn hair flows over her shoulders perfectly and the dressing gown covering her night dress adulates her figure in the most flattering ways.

“May I come in?” You ask quietly so that only the woman can hear.

“Naturally.” Alicent steps aside to let you in.

Together the two of you sit down at the table in her rooms and suddenly you are more nervous than before your knuckles grazed her door.

“I must say, you look positively radiant this evening.” You compliment her in the hope to distract her attention from the way your fingers pick at each other and you eyebrows pull together. To no avail.

“You are amongst friends. Speak your mind freely. What is wearing so heavy on your soul?” Alicent lays her hand on yours to keep you from hurting yourself. Much like you often did to her. The touch sends a spark of electricity through your arm to your heart, making it stop for just a beat. You weren't sure how it had happened but after you married her eldest son, the queen and you had become a source of comfort for each other. Both neglected by your husbands and left to fend for yourselves against a seemingly uncaring world. Or court at least. And some time in the three years you now lived in the Red Keep, you had found yourself falling for the one person you could never have. Not only a woman, but the queen of the seven kingdoms none the less.

"My Queen. My friend. You know I do not like to speak ill of people, even more so when it is your own son I am speaking about. Yet every day more I feel I am not strong enough for this marital bond. I find myself wishing Aegon would simply divorce me. The silent sisters or even the wall would seem like a simpler lot."

“I feel for you and I do not blame you for such thought, my dear. Yet I must also protest. You possess much more strength than you think. I can see it in your eyes. Your husband may not know how lucky he is in having someone so lovely and intelligent besides him…” She pauses in the middle of her sentence and never finishes it. Searching anything in the room but your eyes.

“I cannot thank you enough for listening to my foolish worries. They must seem so small compared to what you have to endure.” Your hands take a hold of her delicate ones and you allow your thumb to caress the back of them to get her attention again.

Unbeknownst to you that simple action drives her heart to pound against her chest in a much quicker rhythm than before.

“If they burden you they are not foolish at all. Better to voice them in the safety of this chamber than to break from them. I have to admit, I do feel like I am trapped in a gilded cage from time to time. Though your presence has made my suffering more bearable.” An inexplicable blush lays itself over the queen´s pale features at the last sentence.

“I will always be here for you, dear friend. For as long as I breathe.” You squeeze the woman’s hands gently to emphasize the intent in your words. Words that speak of a love far deeper than the one for a mere friend.

One of your hands leaves her touch to rest against her rosy cheek. Your thumb caressing over the warm skin. The air between the two of you seems to crack with tension. Her breath falters under your fingertips and suddenly nothing between you seems like it should be between friends. The underlying feeling of her being your husbands mother is gone entirely. It encouraged you to utter the words you swore you would never tell a single living soul.

“May I confess something else? Something darker than what I laid upon you already?” You feel Alicent nod under your hand. It is your only answer as you avert your gaze in shame at the desire you are about to share.

“I had a dream last night. Stemming from desires I tried to hide and pray away for some time now, but all the praying in the world was for naught.” Your voice is barely above a rough whisper.

“What happened in that dream?” Follows Alicent´s question. Equally as quiet at the seriousness of the moment.

“I dreamt about you…” The words come out only slowly. “And me. We were lying in bed. You were writhing underneath me in pleasurer at my touch. It was a most sinful, yet beautiful dream.”

Alicent is left speechless, with an even higher beating heart and an animated fantasy. Despite that, her words speak of the opposite sentiment.

“This… this is highly inappropriate. We are both married and even if we weren´t this could never be by the laws of the seven. It would be better for you to retire to your chambers now” The words have so little conviction that you are unsure who she is trying to convince.

Your thumb wipes over her heated cheek once more and before you know it there are mere inches separating her lips from yours. Your eyes meet hers one last time and with a shuttering breath you taste her lips on yours. It´s only for a moment, but that tentative touch heightens your senses massively. When your eyes open again Alicent´s brown ones are already looking back at you. Uncertain, searching in yours for what to do next, for an answer to all this.

“You need to leave. Now. Before this can lead to anything… more…” The brunette stands up, walking out of reach to wrap her arms around herself. The feelings of shame and want clashed inside of her. Swirling in her stomach in a whirlwind of emotional conflict.

“Please, do not send me away so soon.” You plead in a soft tone. Walking after her to lay your hands on her shoulders. “I am begging you, dear friend.”

Alicent doesn´t push them away. Instead she turns around to take your hands once more.

“What are you doing to me?” She breathes.

“I merely wish to love you. To worship you, just like you deserve. Even if it is for one night only. Let me prove the true nature of my feelings to you. I care naught for how sinful these desires are. You are too beautiful not to sin.” You lead your friend to her bed and sit her down beside you. “Will you let me?”

Your hands travel the length over Alicent´s arms with feather light touches as you wait for an answer. Taking in the satin of her dressing gown underneath your finger tips and the silky, smooth texture of her hair as you put it behind her ear.

Her soft lips part to make way for a fluttering breath to escape and then she leans in to lock her lips with yours again. It takes not even a second for you to respond to it. At first they brush over Alicent's lips in a slow, sensual manner. You try not to overwhelm her with everything. That however quickly wanes, when her tongue presses against your lip to silently ask for entrance. Of course you let her in letting her tongue explore your mouth and dance with yours as you do. One of your hands wanders down to open the dressing gown and slips it off Alicent´s shoulders. Wandering up the front of her body, grazing her breasts that were now only clothed in a thin nightdress anymore. The way her heart beats against it clearly tangible. Assuring you that your friend is just as excited as you are. Next your hands gently push the older woman backwards by the shoulder, to lay on the bed as you straddle her hips. Letting your hands wander over her breasts over the fabric of her nightdress once more, a small moan falls sounds off into the room. Her body has long since forgotten what is happening right now is a sin. She feels herself being pulled into the heat of the moment, letting her body go loose to the touches of her friend´s hands. You part from her only for a second, trying to gather yourself. It is so unbelievable that you are lucky enough to be allowed to touch her in this way. Then you place a peck to the corner of her now kiss swollen lips, trailing more passionate, open-mouthed kisses along the length of the side of her neck. Looking down, Alicent's fingers clutch at the blankets, her hips instinctively rising towards yours as your bodies brush against each other. Another moan escapes Alicent's lips, as the tingling sensation your touch leaves behind and that excites her more and more.

“Do you know how long I have desired this...?” Alicent whispers in a voice full of passion, her voice catching in her throat.

“Tell me how long.” You murmur against the hollow at the base of Alicent's throat. Mouthing at it and then kissing further down to her collar bones. Alternating between soft kisses and gentle nibbles.

When the queen´s hips raise off the mattress again, you shift your weight to put a leg between both of her thighs, to assist her in her search for more friction to satisfy the need for more stimulation.

Alicent turns her head to be able to look into your eyes, even though they are blurred because of lust and love and the way her body rubs against yours. Her heart still pounding heavy in her chest.

“Since I first saw you. When you came to the keep after the match was made. Your dress was such a beautiful green and you hair… Oh, your hair.” Alicent's voice trails off as she closes her eyes, unable to keep looking for the moment.

“Keep looking at me. I want to see your eyes.” You whisper into Alicent's ear with a soft dominant tone. Waiting until you have your lover´s eyes on you again to push up the nightdress to reveal her pale skin and the rosy nipples that sit atop her beautiful breasts.

“ I cannot.” Alicent says while trying to hide her face, but she can't manage too.

You grab her chin between your thumb and forefinger to turn her face back to you and  her body is overcome with lust, and her mind is consumed by the image of your hair in her hands. Your eyes looking deeply into hers, with a look as if she had created the world and your lips on her supple skin.

“Look at me.” You whisper with more emphasis. “You are so beautiful.”

“Yes, oh yes.” Alicent whispers in a faint voice, her breath catching in her throat.

She feels her mind go hollow and her heart beating so fast it feels like it is about to explode. She moans again and again as she is overwhelmed with so much more than she has ever been able to desire in her lifetime.

“You are a goddess…” You murmur breathlessly against her breasts. Your tongue swirling around the erect buds until they are painfully hard. Blowing on them to elicit another sound of pleasure, before you close your lips around the peaks of her chest to nibble and suck on them.

Meanwhile your hands find Alicent's hips. Leading them with a firm grip in a slow rhythm to drag against her thigh.

Alicent's breath comes out in hot, shallow breaths. Her entire being is consumed with your touch, her body shaking.

“It's like heaven. It's divine, that touch of yours.” Alicent's breath quickens, yet her mind remains empty of all thought. All she understands is the need to feel more.

The older woman´s hands let go of your hair and the bedsheets to take hold of your shoulders. Her nails digging into the flesh as you guide her away from your thigh and instead replace it with your fingers. Reverend touches of your fingertips, pull all kinds of sounds from her. Delicious whines and whimpers and needy pleas for more.

“Please, oh gods, please. More… More...” Alicent is on the edge of losing control. Her mouth opens, but no words can form under the small, deliberate circles you rub into the sensitive bundle of nerves that sits at the top of her fluttering cunt.

You can tell Alicent is close to her release. So you capture your lover's lips in another passionate kiss, swallowing her every loud moan as to not get caught by any guards, your fingers lead her over the edge of pleasure.

“Yes! Yes!” That's all her mind can grasp as her entire body shakes with her release.

Once all the pent up energy is out of Alicent´s system and the shaking dies down to a trembling again, You take your fingers, that had caught some of her juices, away from her wet heat and lick them clean.

“You truly are a delicacy. To be savored, not used and cast aside at the whims of men that cannot even begin to process the goddess that you are.” You groan at her sweet taste.

Diving down between her legs, wrapping your arms around them to keep her hips still, you begin to kiss all around her center. Nibbling and sucking a few, easily concealed marks into her flesh. Teasing her long before she finally puts her lips to the queens wet heat. Letting her tongue swipe out to lick a wide stripe through it.

Alicent feels like a bolt of electricity has hit her. Her entire body is consumed with excitement. She does not want you to ever stop touching her. Every touch is a pure delight that Alicent's body and mind crave. It has her panting and heaving for air, writhing underneath you in no time. Not able to stop the feelings she feels building up in her body, she tries to push her lover´s head away, but her weakened arms cannot stop the force of your touch.

Assured by her actions, you suck on the queen's pearl even harder. The feelings of another oncoming release begin to wash over her again, she is taken back to that moment when her body was pushed over the edge. Her nails raking over your back to leave red markings along it. Until they reach the back of your head.

You willingly let Alicent pull your head closer between her legs and think, that if you were to die then and there, tasting your lover's nectar on your tongue, it would be the happiest death. Nevertheless you live and Alicent reaches her second peak. Alicent gasps for air as her entire body is consumed with pleasure. She is convinced that her heart will give out any second now from how hard it beats. She is in the seven heavens. Would be screaming out her feelings, if it wouldn´t be for your hand covering her mouth. You are eager to please the queen, but you are not eager to face the king´s wrath for doing so. Your tongue guides her through her climax. Making sure not to waste a drop of the sweet nectar from between her legs. While under your hand a muffled whine of your name signals her overstimulation. Then you kiss your way up again. Over Alicent's stomach and chest up to her lips.

"You taste so sweet. Truly divine.” You murmur as you give her a taste of herself.

Shifting your weight once more, you lay next to Alicent. The pinky finger of one of your hands entangled with one of hers as your other hand runs lightly over Alicent's bare arm.

“How do you feel?” Alicent feels her heart flutter, as the simple touch and question. She looks towards her lover, her eyes fixed with adoration. Her cheeks become flushed once more as she takes in her love, not only for you but for the way you makes her feel. Safe, loved, content.

“I do not know how you manage to make me feel this way.” Alicent says as she caresses your cheek.

“I am merely a fool in love, lucky enough to share the bed of the most beautiful woman in all of Westeros.” You say as you savor every moment of the sweet touch. Butterflies raging in both of your stomachs.

Alicent cannot take her eyes away from you. The love she bears for her lover, the way all her thoughts and emotions are consumed by the desire for your touch and love makes her smile.

“Come here.” Her voice remains calm, though it trembles slightly due to her lasting breathlessness. “Kiss me again.”

“Anything the queen commands.” You tease her with a wide smirk. Letting her pull you closer, before laying her lips on Alicent's in a slow, most tender kiss. You wrap your arms around the queen. Tracing the length of her spine with the most reverend touches.

Even the softest movement of your fingers send a wave of pleasure down her spine. She cannot hold back any longer. Alicent's body is overcome with a feeling she can barely describe.

“Love me.” Her voice trembles with excitement, though she cannot say much more. All she wants is you.

“You will never go unloved for another day as long as I live. I promise. In the smallest gazes and touches or in the biggest gestures we can allow. I will always love you.” You promise her and the look in your eyes tells Alicent that you mean every single word of it.

[wearelondonhq]

TWILIGHT SAGA SENTENCE STARTERS.   feel free to change pronouns   /   change the sentence(s) to your liking.  

Happy Meme Day!!! If you want to take part all you have to do is reblog this post. Remember if you reblog to send them out to EVERYONE who also does. Meme lasts from today until the next Sunday (the 26th of May).

❛  i’ve got it,  i’ve got it!  i’m all right!  ❜

❛  you fell down two flights of stairs.  you went through a window.  ❜

❛  i’ll do whatever it takes to make you safe again.  ❜

❛  you’re in here because of me.  ❜

❛  ( name ),  calm down,  everything’s alright.  ❜

❛  you just can’t say stuff like that to me.  ever.  ❜

❛  rip him apart and burn the pieces.  ❜

❛  where else am i gonna go?  ❜

❛  where should i meet you?  ❜

❛  i put a new can of pepper spray in your bag.  ❜

❛  i’d never given much thought to how i’d die.  ❜

❛  c’mon,  we gotta talk boys!  are you being safe?  ❜

❛  dying in the place of someone i love seems like a good way to go.  ❜

❛  i have to go home now.  you have to take me home.  ❜

❛  you were a stubborn child,  weren’t you?  ❜

❛  when everything’s done,  i’m going to come back and get you.  ❜

❛  leave me alone!  it’s over!  get out!  ❜

❛  that’s gonna be a home run,  right?  ❜

❛  i’m gonna make it go away.  i’ll make it go away.  ❜

❛  what am i gonna say to him?  ❜

❛  death is peaceful.  easy.  life is harder.  ❜

❛  i just want to try one thing.  stay really still.  ❜

❛  i can’t hurt him.  ❜

❛  ( name ),  you are my life now.  ❜

❛  this isn’t real.  this kind of stuff doesn’t exist.  ❜

❛  we can do more stuff together.  ❜

❛  you’re not gonna drive home right now.  ❜

❛  ( name ), c’mon. i just—  i just got you back.  ❜

❛  why don’t you lemme drive?  ❜

❛  if i don’t leave now then i’m just gonna be stuck here like _.  ❜

❛  what if he kills one of us first?  ❜

❛  babe,  c’mon,  it’s just a game.  ❜

❛  is it enough just to have a long and happy life with me?  ❜

❛  i’ll keep her safe,  ( name ).  ❜ ❛  you’re ready right now?  ❜

❛  i/we won’t be bothering you anymore.  ❜

❛  i dream about being with you forever.  ❜

❛  if anything happens,  i swear to god.  ❜ ❛ 

❝ I decided as long as I'm going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly. ❞

❝ I said it would be better if we weren’t friends, not that I didn’t want to be.❞

❝ What if I'm the bad guy/girl/person? ❞    

❝ Do I dazzle you? ❞

❝ The right thing isn't always real obvious. ❞

❝ You’re still waiting for the running and the screaming, aren’t you? ❞

❝ I am not really breaking any rules. ❞

❝ You think I regret saving your life? ❞

❝ I always say too much when I'm talking to you. That's one of the problems. ❞

❝ I know love and lust don't always keep the same company. ❞

❝ Do you like scary stories? ❞

❝ No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end. ❞

❝ I miss you. ❞

❝ Distract me, please.  ❞

❝ You really should stay away from me. ❞

❝ It's too easy to be myself with you. ❞

❝ It's not the end. It's the beginning. ❞

❝ Your hair looks like a haystack, but I like it. ❞

❝ I'd rather know what you're thinking - even if what you're thinking is insane. ❞

❝ Can't you just thank me and get over it? ❞

❝ You've got a bit of a temper, don't you? ❞

❝ I don’t like to lie – so there’d better be a good reason why I’m doing it. ❞

❝ Without the dark, we'd never see the stars. ❞

❝ I hate you for making me want you so much. ❞

❝ Immortality must grant endless patience. ❞

❝ I'd rather die than stay away from you. ❞

❝ I love you. It's a poor excuse for what I'm doing, but it's still true. ❞

❝ I wished there was some way to explain how very uninterested I was in a normal human life. ❞

❝ I'm feeling extremely insignificant! ❞

BONUS! UNDER THE CUT, FIND A FEW MORE FROM NEW MOON AND ECLIPSE:

"what  part  of  'mortal  enemies'  is  too  complicated  for  you  to—"

"i  don't  think  you  should  dump  all  your  other  friends  for  your  boyfriend."

"sure,  sure.  i'll  stop  by  your  crypt  after  school."

"do  you  really  think  hurting  her  is  better  than  protecting  her?"

"i  thought  it  would  be  something  faintly  realistic."

"look  after  my  heart  —  i've  left  it  with  you."

"if  i  get  hurt,  it  was  because  i  tripped."

"i'm    not    going    to    hide    out    in    the    forest    while    you    all    take    risks    for    me."

"let's    get    this    stupid    party    over    with."

"i    am    not    really    breaking    any    rules."

"i    wondered    why    i    was    being    so    formal.    must    be    the    nerves."

"how  can  we  be  friends,  when  we  love  each  other  like  this?"

“you  try  very  hard  to  make  up  for  something  that  was  never  your  fault.”

“you  didn’t  choose  this  kind  of  life,  and  yet  you  have  to  work  so  hard  to  be  good.”

“you’re  the  very  best  part  of  my  life.”

“it  was  exactly  what  was  to  be  expected.”

“i’d  rather  deal  with  real  zombies  than  watch  a  romance.”

“can  i  help  you  with  something?  you  look  lost.”

“your  friends  are  a  lot  more  interesting  than  mine.”

“five  foot  four  is  perfectly  average.”

“you’re  like  a  little  doll.”

“do  i  look  like  i  tripped  in  your  garage  and  hit  my  head  on  a  hammer?”

“you  can  be  so  out  of  it  sometimes.”

“i’m  in  the  mood  for  action.  bring  on  the  blood  and  guts!”

[skzstoryvault]

Erase and Rewind (angst, fluff, smut - Hyunjin - Final part)

F!Reader

ex!Chan

good friend Hyunjin

multi chapter story

this chapter: feelings and smut

Chan broke up with reader

Reader is moving on

Hyunjin is being a supportive friend

Featuring insecurities, internalised misogyny and self-hate

This is in no way meant as a commentary on the real persons depicted here. They all deserve the world.

Please be kind.

Please do not report this post. If it's not your thing, just scroll away.

If you're underage, please scroll on, there is nothing for you here.

If you enjoy this story and are reading along, I would love to hear your comments in the replies, reblogs or DMs - however you feel most comfortable.

*** Part 3

You were single for two Valentine’s Days and for two White Days now, and other than staying in and distracting yourself with action movies, you did not feel the seasonal sadness affect you. Not to mention, there were other friends of yours who weren’t big on celebrating those things and who invited you to their houses for casual gatherings. Minho hosted a silent rave at his house one year (which Chan and his girlfriend skipped), Felix invited himself over one White Day, with cake ingredients and his infectious good mood. You were doing great.

This year, for White Day, Hyunjin declared the entire world could fuck off with its lovey dovey shit and he invited you for an art experience at a gallery which provided huge canvases, non-toxic paints and small thongs for the clients to use for painting on each other, then rolling across the canvasses and creating their own unique art pieces. “Uh… this is a literal string. My whole dick is out.” Hyunjin said from the changing booth next to yours. 

“My outfit has no bra. Granted there’s not much that can go in it but I bet you didn’t sign up to see my nips on this God’s fine day.” “Shall I tell the staff we’re not doing it? If you’re uncomfortable?” “How much did you look forward to this, Hyune? And also, this must have been such a headache to organise, for you, with how booked you are. And aren’t you uncomfortable?” “Well, I really wanted to do it. I thought it would be nice for us to have this special thing in common.” 

“Tell you what. Let’s still do it - butt naked. I know you love me and won’t laugh at me, and the same goes for me too.” “Fuck yes!” Hyunjin burst out of his booth, naked and in flip flops. “Jewellery - on or off?” You thought for a bit. “Off, I’d say, we don’t want the canvas to snag. Or for you to be up at three am, cleaning out paint from your custom diamond pieces with the toothbrush.” 

“One less thing to jiggle around.” He said, heading for the canvases. “These really are big.” You exited your booth too, joining him, also in your birthday suit. “Shall we begin? Please, no pastels for me.” By the time he was halfway done with putting paint on you, you noticed him fidgeting and noticed why, as well. “Look, it happens, okay? You’re young and fit, a breeze coming in through the open window can give you a semi. It’s fine.” “It’s not a breeze though, it’s you. “ Hyunjin said. “You’re just so fine, and the fact that you wanted us to do this, even naked… so hot. But don’t worry, I’ll behave. I know how you feel about sex with men lately.” 

“Er, that was almost two years ago. The sex itself is not the issue, the other shit it came with is. And… you think that’s the issue??? Hold up… excuse me for presuming here but… I didn’t think you’d be into me. Chan said you don’t like women.”

“He… what?” Hyunjin gasped so hard you feared he might straight up hyperventilate. “Or… that’s what I understood. I don’t remember the exact phrasing but he said that if you fished in the same pond no one would ever be so much as noticed by girls.” “Well maybe I don’t crop dust my charms all over the world because I’m not about all that. Whenever my hormones are taking the reigns, I use that energy and that drive to make art, to dance, to train, to push myself harder. To be the perfect whore for Stay so they’ll give me the most attention. I really don’t think I have to be a slave to every erection that comes and goes. I guess from the others’ end it might look different.” He said, looking down at his now behaving dick. “Case in point. Although I’ve been insanely attracted to you since we met, but then you went for Channie and I thought, eh, we’re not the same type, I’m not even an option. I’m not as confident and in charge as him and I’m shy so I… decided I would take any kind of place in your life you deigned to give me. But then he broke up with you, like a donkey, I might add, and you were so hurt and defeated, I though it inappropriate to still have a crush on you. I didn’t want to feel like I was friends with you for… predatory reasons. Just know that I think you’re everything and also… there’s these. Warning, I am not trying to be a pervert but look… I’ve had it done in Japan.” The madman. The absolute, perfect, amazing dumbass, you thought, looking at the twin scars. 

You pointed to yours, now faded and pretty much invisible unless you drew attention to them.

“We… we actually match.” You said, feeling tears threaten to spill. “Jinnie… I’m going to cry! But… are you sure? That’s pretty extreme.” “I am crying! And yes, I am very sure. I can always adopt a child who needs love, and between you and me every time I hear people say how beautiful my kids will be with this creepy sort of entitlement… I used to shudder, now I can laugh about it.” He said, scooching closer to hug you. “We’re mixing up our paints. And… and I can’t believe I scrounged up the balls to tell you. And you like it? Like… me?” “Jinnie… you’ve given me back to me this past year plus. And it’s not just gratitude, don’t think you have to work hard to earn my affection, but… you carved out all the darkness from my world and replaced it with your colours. I should be so lucky to have your love, in this way or another. Your love is worth the risk. You’ve taught me there are no guarantees beyond what we choose to give each other today. And I want your love, if you want mine in return.” 

Hyunjin just sobbed harder, everything else forgotten for a long, elastic moment stretching outside of time, in which the two of you sat naked and entangled in the middle of a tarp, covered in colours. Still crying, Hyunjin took your hand and helped you up. He rolled you across your canvas and you moved him across his own. You then stood, together, looking at your finished art pieces from further away. “They’re beautiful, Jinnie.” You said, moving closer to him and taking his hand in yours. “And they match perfectly. Like us.” He said, finally finding your lips with his, enveloping you in his arms and holding you close, glued to him. 

It didn’t even feel like you were naked with him then. He made you feel so safe and seen, you forgot you were supposed to feel self-conscious.

You went back to your place after the gallery, to wash the rest of the colours off and to continue your make-out session. Still damp and with steam coming off of your skins, you collapsed between your sheets together, kissing ravenously, hands roaming and mapping previously off limits parts. You ended up in a tangle of limbs on the bed, Hyunjin’s cock down your throat and his tongue in your pussy. The way you both pulled and squeezed at each other’s skin, trying to get deeper, closer, was matched only by the neediness in your sounds. You had always guessed Hyunjin was the vocal type, now you knew for sure and his gone moans and whimpers made your core clench painfully and your walls slicker. It felt good and normal, that sense of vulnerability you hadn’t liked before nowhere to be found. You knew, deep in the back of your mind, that you and Hyunjin were thick as thieves and even if he did move on from you sexually, he would never cut you out of his life and allow you to fade into the faceless crowd of people who orbit him but are inconsequential to him. He comes without warning, from you running a wet finger over his hole and you pull back a bit so you wouldn’t choke or hurt him, focusing on drinking him down and not spilling a drop. He tastes so clean and familiar, and you know it’s psychological, this part - the thought that taking his come inside you can’t harm you or change the course of your life to a trajectory not of your choosing. This is, of course, in line with how Hyunjin makes you feel in every other way: seen, protected and cared for. Like a precious secret or a superpower. 

You don’t expect to come, you’re too lost in the tsunami of emotions crashing down on you, and usually when there’s a disconnect between mind and body, nothing happens, but this time, Hyunjin pushes you down that steep slide by simply keeping at devouring you with his lips, his tongue, his long and gentle fingers. You don’t expect it, yet you start shaking like a leaf in autumn and feel yourself gush all over his face, an actual scream tearing out from you at how unexpectedly intense it feels. 

By the time you can breathe normally again and can string two thoughts together, Hyunjin is still panting and his skin feels like it’s burning. He’s sweating profusely, like from an hour-long dance practice. His hands are still idly caressing you where he can reach, your thighs, your hips, your belly. 

“Give me a moment and I’ll fuck you until we black out.” He says, his intoxicatingly appealing confidence making you shiver again. “Going to fuck every memory of Channie-hyung from you so you’re all mine.” 

It’s a double-edged sword kind of comment that could land well or really badly, but the fact that he risked it for your own benefit is incredible. 

Hyunjin already pieced all the broken parts of you together and glued them with his gold.  You don’t know why or how, certainly not because you’re special - because you know you’re not. But on the other hand, he went all in too, and if it’s all a cruel prank or some background bet with the boys, it’s a damn high value one. “You being in your head, listening to your mean girl voice?” Hyunjin asks, sitting up and coming to caress your face. “Tell me.” He adds, leaning down to lick your lips into opening, sucking your lower one and then biting into it just the right amount so it stings but doesn’t hurt. “I want you fully here for what I’m going to do to you.” 

His words make you gasp. “I’m still wondering why you chose me. I’m just a girl. Not even the prettiest.” 

“To me you are THE girl.” Hyunjin says, bringing a hand up to caress your lips with careful, featherlight fingertips. “You can learn so much about a person when you dance with them, it’s so intimate and electric. I’ve never felt like this, like I want to take all of you and put you inside me and protect you from the world.” 

His words send pure pleasure sparking up and down your spine, you never expected someone would feel like this about you and he’s right, that feeling when you dance together, that you are one soul in two bodies - you’ve felt it too and it was all-overpowering. 

You close your eyes briefly, against the tide of rushing sensations coursing through you. Underneath, like the dark waters of the ocean, are your feelings, which are also stirring. You could love Hyunjin in the same all-consuming, all-overtaking way he acts towards you. The feeling of safety he gives you is unlike anything you’ve felt before and makes you want to go anywhere he wants to take you. 

You become aware of the closeness of your bodies, the way your heated skins touch almost all over, with Hyunjin now half on top of you, with a leg bent and thrown possessively over you. His cock is pressed against your hip, leaking on your skin there, hard already. Everything about him is so ethereally beautiful, from his pillowy soft lips and his spindly, strong and gentle fingers, to his cock, long and thick and now hard again. You run the hand currently not carding through his hair down along the thigh he had flung across you, and the muscles shift subtly beneath your fingertips. He makes a completely ruined sound, squeezing his eyes shut and opening them to look at you. “Can I? Please, can I?”

“Yes, Jinnie, you can always have me. I’m all yours now.”

“Only mine, too.” He whispers, as though he’s manifesting it for himself. “Help me? I don’t want to mess this up.” You nod, reaching down and guiding him to rest against your entrance. One deep breath later and you’re breaching yourself  before he takes over, pushing in just the tiniest bit. The stretch is just on this side of pain, after so long. You’re turned on out of your mind though, and he can slide in easily, but you want to feel more of that stretch. “Slowly, until you bottom out. I want to feel all of this.” You say, voice coming out raspy and breathless. “Heavens, Jinnie - you feel perfect.” 

He lets out a breath he’s been holding for ages, it seems, lowering his forehead to yours. “I’m afraid to move. If I do, I’ll bust.” He says, his eyes closed. You could be with him like this forever. Him above you, inside you, trembling like a leaf from all the things rushing through him. He never looks more gorgeous than he does in moments like this one, fully naked with you, inside out, no make-up, no retouches. Soon, he does move - halfway propped up on an arm while the other one is under you, pulling you closer and anchoring him to you, wrecked-sounding and with eyes squeezed closed, lower lip chewed up and hair sticking in wet tendrils to his face and neck. He looks like a god. 

It takes him a bit to find an angle and a pace he can sustain, and all the pressing and wriggling around just pushes him closer into you, so close that every movement of his hips is felt in your clit, and you just know it’s a matter of when by now, not if he makes you come. “I can’t… fuck, I can’t…” he pants out in frustration. “I can’t hold it long enough, I’m sorry.” He adds, collapsing on you and peppering apologetic kisses all over your face and neck.

You know he means he can’t hold a steady rhythm in this position, not long enough to get you both to that place where you both fall over the edge. 

“Kneel up, baby. Sit back and spread your legs beneath me.” You guide him. He can definitely do it, he has the strength for it, and the hubris needed to attempt to pull off the switch in position while still inside you. 

“Oh… my… God!” He exclaims when it works and he finds himself with you in his lap, with your legs on either side of him, grinding on his length which is now buried impossibly deeper inside you. His first reaction once he’s sat down and his heels are digging into the sheets is to pull you close and bury his face in your neck, leaving a deep mark at the spot where your neck meets the shoulder. For a moment, he forgets to move up into you, distracted by how much closer he can have you now, how much easier it is to reach your neck, your collarbones, the swell of your breasts, your nipples. “Are you close, baby?” You press out, wanting his focus. If he forgets himself now, the rhythmic squeezing of your walls around his cock buried deep inside you and the maddening, overwhelming feel of his lips and fingers on your nipples will throw you over the edge and leave him behind. And any other time, that would be perfectly fine, but you need him with you this time, the first time of many. 

“Yes, fuck, this is so… it’s everything!” He pants. “I was close since you let me in. I’m barely holding on, so you don’t think I-” He gets cut off by the next squeeze of your walls around his length when you’re seated flush in his lap. “Oh fu-” Hyunjin goes cross-eyed briefly, holding on to you and pulling you close, wrapping his arms around you and locking you in, your front glued to his. 

Seeing him lose it for you, because of you, throws you over the edge too, sparks of pleasure turning into currents shooting up and down your spine, spreading tingles all over you, all the way to your toes. As soon as your heavy breathing goes down a bit, you lean in and kiss Hyunjin, stealing his breath and licking along his now spit-slick lips. He’s going slack beneath you and you push him backwards so he ends up lying down on the bed. You follow, his softening cock slipping out of you, causing you both to whine at the loss of contact and the sound of your bodies separating wetly. 

“That was… holy… I knew it would be good but… because it was with you, it was out of this world. I felt like I died and got zapped back to life.” Hyunjin speaks, his words leaving his chest slowly. He sounds so dreamy and relaxed, like he might fall asleep while talking. “I want to do it again and again, till I can’t move or remember my name. I want to let you try everything on me. Tie me up, fuck me, blindfold me, spank me, pi-” “Jinnie!” You chime from your comfy spot on top of him. “I appreciate the enthusiasm. I guess we have to stay together for a little while so we can try all the things you want.” 

“I want that. I want to try it all with you.” He says, sounding far away and half into the land of dreams already. “Wanna keep you fucked out and pleased all the time. Or… uhhh, do things in your own time? I want to tell Stay about you right away, to sort the haters out and to be able to be together like normal people.” "You don't have to. People are full of hate, Jinnie. I want you to keep being the loveable brat, the prince and the spoiled baby in public. You should be Stay's best and cutest husband, it's good for your career. Better than announcing a girlfriend." "But... won't you hate being kept a secret?" "Babe, I'm being selfish. I don't want the world to be in on our relationship. And well, statistically, we have more of a chance to last as a couple if we don't invite everyone else out there into it." "Then I'll do what feels right for you. I like being an idol and I love being yours now. If I can continue doing both... all the better. And we can keep hanging out like before, I need to see you every day when I'm around here." “Mmm, good thing you said that, I don’t want us to go from being besties to only being strictly dickly.” You say, finding a comfortable spot to snuggle next to your boyfriend. “A lot of people have dicks, but there’s only one of you, my good sweet Hyune.” 

“Don’t stop, go on,” he says, his eyes closed and a smile tugging on his lip corners. 

“You are so good to me, my baby. You gave me my joy back.” You say. “Wanna keep you to myself for so long.” 

You’re not sure he heard the last part, since he’s already snoring softly, like a cat purring itself to sleep. But the words that left your lips are enough of a shock to you already.  It’s the truth. Hyunjin never cared how much of a mess you were. To him, you’re the hottest thing in the world and he gave you more than 100% of himself in every way. 

[laevanders]

Hm

Incorrect Quotes with the caballeros.

Cause I can

Donald, driving José and Panchito: So how was your day?

Panchito: We almost got surprise adopted!

Donald: What?

José: We almost got kidnapped.

Donald: Oh, okay.

Donald: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?

Panchito: Donal' and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

José: *Sighing* What did B do?

Panchito: he chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Donald: Who wants a steering wheel?

Panchito: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

José: The car takes a screenshot.

Donald: For the last time, get the fuck out.

Donald: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

Panchito: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

José: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Panchito: Good thinking.

*insert donald having flashbacks to his uncle*

Panchito: How's the sexiest person here~?

Donald: I don't know, how are they~?

Panchito, flustered: I-

José, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

Panchito: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Donald: Wasn't C with you?

José: In my defense...I was also left unsupervised.

I feel like this one is canon

José: I told Donal' his ears flush when he lie.

Panchito: Why?

José: Look.

José: Hey Donal'! Do you love us?

Donald, covering his ears: No.

Panchito: Are you sure this is the right direction?

José: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Donald: In that case, we're definitely lost

The squad is trying to con some random guy

Panchito: Um, Jose, why are you pretending I'm this guy's family?

José: We need money!

Panchito: You're scamming him?

José: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him?

Panchito: What?! No way!

José: Why not? We already stole Donald!

Donald: Hey guys

Panchito: No, we didn't. Donald can think and talk for themself, they can do whatever they want!

Donald: I wanna steal

Panchito: What do you think Donal' will do for a distraction?

José: he’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Jose: ... or he could do that.

Donald: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.

Panchito: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.

Donald: Not when you’re playing with José, it’s not. They put words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

Donald: Hey, what are you reading?

José: This is my magic book where any ink spilled shows a scripture of the future, however it bears a curse making it broken, and as such in order to make any scripture appears, I have to do it myself.

Donald: Impressive! I must have it for myself!

Panchito: So it’s just a Notebook?

José: It’s just a Notebook.

José: Everyone, calm down! We're grown-ups, let's deal with this like adults!

Panchito: So, we're just going to wing it and hope for the best?

Donald: Obviously. Now, Zé, pass the shovel.

Donald: Yesterday, I overheard Panchito saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and José replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

Donald: Just think about this! I’m your hottest friend.

Donald: No, that’s José… I’m your nicest friend.

Donald: No, Panchito... I’m your friend!

*Zé and Panchi proceeds to shower him with affection*

Panchito: If I die, my funeral will be the biggest party ever and you're all invited.

José: "If"

Donald: Great, the only party I'm ever invited to and they might not even die.

José: I dare you-

Donald: Panchi is not allowed to accept dares anymore.

José: Why not?

Panchito: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.

José, to Donald: ...And I need you and Paco to help, and by "help" I mean "do everything."

Panchito: A party is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they’re loved. Donal has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for them.

José: By forcing him to have fun at a party that he don’t want to be at?

Panchito: I knew you’d understand.

José: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body.

Donald: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot.

José: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!

Panchito: Hmm... I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free... not sure where you're getting your facts from...

José texting group chat: What flavour of ice cream do you guys want? I’m at the store so be quick!

Panchito: Moose Tracks is good!

Donald: What the fuck is that!?

Panchito: *Gasp* How dare you insult moo-

Donald: No. No no not that. What the hell. Why do you spell flavor like flavour. It’s like you have flavor but then this guy shows up and is like “Oui Oui Would you like chocolate flaVOUR or vanilla flaVOUR.

José and Panchito: what?

Donald: I don’t get it why add the EXTRA u when it’s PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS!?

José: You done now?

Donald: Yeah ok.

J and P: ...

Donald: ...Can I have the Mint Chocolate chip flavour?

[notoriousbeb]

I don’t know about you, but my dash is…less than fun right now. SO I decided to do some lyrical analysis, which always distracts me and cheers me up.

Specifically, I noticed Folklore and Evermore have some very strong themes…

Fantasizing About a Path Not Taken / Pining

“As if you were a mythical thing/Like a trophy or a champion ring/And there was one prize I’d cheat to win/The more that you say/The less I know/Wherever you stray, I follow/I’m begging for you to take my hand/Wreck my plans/That’s my man” - Willow

“What must it be like to grow up that beautiful/With you hair falling into place like dominoes/My mind turns your life into folklore” - Gold Rush

“Eyes like sinking ships on waters so inviting I almost jump in” - Gold Rush

“I see me padding across your wooden floors/With my Eagles t-shirt hanging from your door/at dinner parties I call you out on your contrarian shit/And the coastal town we wandered around had never seen a love as pure as it” - Gold Rush

“The old widow goes to the stone every day/But I don’t, I just sit here and wait/Grieving for the living” - Ivy

“Write this down/I’m staying at my parents’ house/And the road not taken looks real good now/And it always leads to you and my hometown” - ‘Tis the Damn Season

And a subset of the same theme: Dreaming about Someone She Thinks She Shouldn’t

“I can’t dare to dream about you anymore” - Gold Rush

“Head on the pillow, I could feel you sneaking in” - Willow

“I can’t stop you putting roots in my dreamland” - Ivy

Personally, I think all this longing and wondering coincided with one of Taylor and Joe’s “rough patches.”

Then, we get Midnights. These feelings haven’t disappeared, and now they’re being channeled into autobiographical reliving of sleepless nights.

Three of these, I believe, are about the same person: Harold.

Many people, myself included, believe Maroon strongly points to him, based on their shoeless karaoke session in a red-toned room in NYC, the hickey he put on her collarbone that a bunch of people saw, her iconic red lipstick, Harry’s god daughter being named Ruby (this one might just be me, but I stand by it), and the fact that a person left behind on an island is called a maroon.

But I haven’t seen anyone making what I call “the rosé connection” to The 1.

Maroon: “Your roommate’s cheap-ass screw-top rosé, that’s how”

The 1: “Rosé flowing with your chosen family”

You know who had roommates like chosen family? Harry.

Also, I have some observations about why Snow on the Beach could be about him, which I haven’t seen before:

“One night a few moons ago, I saw flecks of what could have been lights/But it might just have been you/Passing by unbeknownst to me” - He used to drive by her house in LA at night

“This scene feels like what I once saw on a screen/I searched ‘aurora borealis green’/I’ve never seen someone lit from within” - Reference to green eyes

All that to say, it appears to me that girl spent at least some of 2020 in a heavy state of confusion/longing (that she channeled into some really great fictional settings) and then went on to just lay it all out there in Midnights.

[katsu28]

heyy! congrats on 1k xx could i get a candy for male!harry potter pls? preferably marauders era but either is good <33

my pronouns are she/her. i'm an enfp, a ravenclaw & a sagittarius w. a virgo moon. i'm 5''3 with an hourglass figure. my hair is curly auburn & my eyes are dark blue/green.

i would describe myself as observant, witty, empathetic & kind. i can be pretty sensitive which causes me to become defensive. i love meeting new people and i feel like i'm easy to get along with, although i can be outspoken about my opinions.

i like shopping, 60s and 80s rock music, old movies, going to cities, astrology, playing the guitar, and tarot readings. i like to go on spontaneous trips to towns & lakes, but i'm happy doing whatever.

i talk more than i listen although i love to ask people questions & get to know them. ideally i want a partner who's pretty talkative so that i feel as if it's equal. i'm a pretty hopeless romantic and my love language is quality time - i also like physical touch but i have to feel safe around the person.

hii thank you so much my dear!! <3 i would ship you with sirius black!

a gryffindor like himself with a ravenclaw like you might seem like an unlikely pair at first but i think you and sirius would vibe instantly because you're both pretty extroverted and easy to get along with, and especially since you're both talkative. he loves how easy and fun it is to talk to you! you're able to talk to each other or other people for hours on end, and his favorite thing is to have long conversations with you about anything you want! he tries his best to keep your sensitive nature in mind and even though sometimes he might forget to think before he speaks, he always makes sure that you know he's not trying to be mean in any way, he's just kinda impulsive with his words.

60s and 80s rock music and old movies are so his thing too, so he would absolutely adore that you have similar interests. maybe one time he takes you to an old muggle drive in movie or concert for a date! i think it's a common headcanon that sirius plays the guitar as well, so you like to teach each other new things or have a jam session whenever you can! you could teach him about astrology and tarot readings if he doesn't know anything about them, and as much as he wants to pay attention to what you're saying, he'd keep getting distracted by how pretty you are talking about things you love. honestly, sirius would think you're the prettiest girl he's even laid eyes on, and he wouldn't hesitate to tell you all the time.

spontaneous trips with sirius are a must! i can imagine him taking you out on his bike and the two of you just making a day out of exploring wherever you end up, shopping, walking around, going sightseeing—anything you want! his love language is also quality time, and he absolutely loves doing anything and everything with you! and he's also the same way you are about physical touch, but he warms up to you pretty quickly. sirius feels safe enough around you to let his guard down, and he only feels that way about a select amount of people.

i feel like you'd get along pretty well with the rest of the marauders too since you and sirius are quite similar! they would joke around saying "merlin's beard there's two of them 😧" but in reality they like you too and they love how happy you make their best mate.

kait's sweetest celebration!

[twinsloveco]

I hear him play this gentle welcoming song that vibes love and kindness patience forgiveness warmth etc like ...

Come here and forgive me ill let you talk about all your big feelings and be good and faithful this time I promise I am so sorry..

But idk if its true if I'm crazy Adam gaslighted me so God damn much....

But you didn't lie when you told me what u and Adam did... he told me you were a lier...

So I yelled lier and pushed u away ...

You weren't mean this time you just softly said you will keep trying to find a way for me... you were gentle you held me.. we fucked.. I felt delusional and crazy

I asked Adam if I was.. I said am I being played rn? Am I just making shit up cuz that's what I wanna hear or happen or believe is that they care? ..he agreed it was probably that and the witch trying to tear me and him apart and spread seeds of lies and doubt

He only admitted later cuz I was going through his phone of Adam x lucifer pictures he was showing me and I seen something and I knew instantly and made him tell me and he said oh I was gonna yeah ONLY AFT4R YIU SAY THEY THREAT3NED YOU

Mfer smirking and being shitty to me as I purely tried to give him everything and love him thinking hopeful shitboncr again just to find dark shit now I want fucking no one yeah i said right? Oh nope here comes gabriel to fuck with my heart strings in Astral and give me the best time ever wtf man 😭

We both knew he'd you .. get in Adam to reach me..

That's the only time I didn't feel disgusted and sick asf like I can't even kiss the fucker I never could ..he's gross to me and he's fat yeah but that doesnt make him ugly and I know I'm attached cuz of everything but I know I don't want him he MAKES delta kid seraph confused needy want andnused our energies to lure me and weaken me.. ughhh

Now that i know it's yours I'd want out of him and would get so frustrated cus I wasn't getting it.. he's going crazy word salad mad.

Adam showed me a hurtful ss of What you said that set me off that final days ...

He told me not to tell u plz. So I didnt....

[How could I talk about it without outing him? Why tf protect that asshole ? I didn't wanna think of the pain of hurtful things behind my back ... it was too damn much]

And I still don't want to. I don't wanna see it

Maybe one day when I'm fucking okay...

Well guess what? He promised me he would let me gather myself so I could talk to you about shit FIRST in the best loving calm way possible ...and the fucker lied and went and did it while I was fucking asleep sick tired from the long drive and the pain of being torn once again from my person....

He was saying all this shit riling me up getting me freaked out and confused and feeling unsafe don't know who to trust

I see now that's what narcs do to control and distract you so u can't see wtf is going on.

It also keeps you in a dysfunctional state so you need them.. he made me sicker than I was and made me need him and then got mad at me for needing him and blew it out of reality acting like he's being slave driven when all we wanted was him to fucking respect my dad's wishes and clean up after himself ..we'd let shit go for WEEKS trying to be nice and he'd be a dick cold run over us etc dad told him not to lay his clothes ev3rywhere it's not that God damn hard and he continued and continued not giving a fuck cuz he knew we wouldn't kick him out...

He was like that before me and lied and blamed it all on Donald... others are sick of his bs too .. if u can walk out past your clothes and to the bedroom which u must past the washroom first you can grab ur sweaty pants and throw them in the wash wtf and he always word salad ran ignored went weird etc if you tried to ask him why and even try to find a root ground stand so we can help him help himself and us .. for him too. He wouldn't even do that. He said make a plan with me plan it so we did and he still wouldn't we had every damn right to be mad. I shouldn't have to hand hold a grown man and repeat myself a thousand times this is narc abuse and my friends have been helping me learn all their games and now he's throwing choas again because I'm onto him and he's losing control and hopefully you're seeing it too now ..cuz he said he showed it.

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

Depressive Episodes : Owning up to my emotions and allowing the waves of depression to push me through my toughest battles.

One thing about me, is that I never give up.

Im resilient, even when I don't believe it.

I've never allowed myself to fail, even when at times I knew I was falling. Its just... not in me to let go. I just gotta breathe, man. I can't see myself allowing the world to dig me into my own grave.

But that doesn't mean I havent thought about it.

Sometimes when I can't see the future, I go crazy and can't stop myself from having a manic depressive episode.

Other times, I can see the future, or the idea of it, and still go into a manic episode. So of course.. it doesn't matter when, what or where, when that wave of depression hits.. it starts to get me down to one of those spiraling series waiting to be channeled into something else.

So far, I've learned to creative outlets for my depression. Being honest, and escaping into worlds of creativity like painting, drawing, poetry.. Im still learning how to paint my emotions and make it seem more meaningful. But hey, anything to cure the depressive thoughts. I can't live like this anymore.

But the thing is, depression comes through waves and tries to leave its mark on society due to a painful reality we seem to suppress within. We can't lie to ourselves anymore, things are getting worse, and it seems as if it has no plans on getting better.

Or so they say...

I have a feeling that depression in our society has a LOT to do with our needs not being met, but ALSO because theres something negging at us to be seen. And its love.

We live in a cold reality, where most people pretend to be in their ego but not in their hearts. The warmth we are needing is in community, but there hasnt been too many spaces for community to fondle in. Depression sticks due to some of the food we eat, the shows and news we digest, the constant negativity that is plastered in front of us day in and day out. You know.. this can tire out a lost soul, and distract you from the primary mission. So to say that depression can be easy to fix, isn't the most practical way of thinking, at least not on my end.

Its taken me 5 years to really get to the nitty & gritty of depression, anxiety, shame, guilt, fear.. etc... and I've come to the conclusion that this thing can be generational as well as something going on in the psyche and needs further analyzation in other to appreciate the whys and the why nots of depression so you can heal it clearer. In most cases, depression can find healing through the arts, but what if thats not your niche? What if theres something more you must succumb to and haven't figured it out?

One of the things I've learned is mathematics. Boy I hated math as a kid cause I 'sucked' and I kept failing, however as I've made it to adulthood, I realize I DO love math, just not the way it was taught. Over time, I've made time to study math and all its different layers, its like a universal code. It helped me remember some parts of my childhood that made it easier to appreciate it. I say this because it's been one thing that's lifted me up along side photography. On of the main things that lifted up my energies into higher vibrations and being able to relieve myself of any depressive wave that entered my energy. Anytime I do feel depression sometimes I sit with it, sometimes I go and find purpose.

Because depression is causing you to lack clarity, focus, drive and remembrance of your souls horizon. Your purpose. Your mission. What reason did you decide to come here, love?

So what I want you all to know is that when your feeling depressed, there is something in you that wants to be notified. Yes those emotions are deep and sometimes rather intense but the only way to get out of the mud is if you get to digging and remembering why you even started doing it in the first place. It's so you can get back to you.

So began to say good bye to your depression, your healing era awaits my love. Depression is only a wave of thunderstorms creating a destiny for you to see that rainbows are on the other side of that tired, daunting feeling.

[prompt-prose]

I hate that I do this to myself.

I can’t stop thinking it as I drive home.

I just finished another lovely but awkward family dinner at my parent’s house. Alone. Because he wouldn’t come with me. Because he’s had a long week and is tired, or he’s not feeling well, or he forgot he had these other plans, or whatever fucking excuse he used this time.

It’s never the anger. That isn’t the problem. He’s allowed to decide not to go to things. And I am allowed to be angry that he makes me go alone.

The problem, the thing that I hate, is what comes after the anger. I get mad at him, but then wonder if I’m too mad. Or get mad at myself for being mad, and then mad at myself again because I have to remind myself that I’m allowed to be mad.

And I know this isn’t healthy. Spiraling into emotions like this. Being mad and then getting mad about being mad and getting mad about being mad that I’m mad and getting mad that I’m mad about being mad that I’m mad…and it isn’t even those emotions alone! Cause while that spiral is happening, and none of those feelings are actually being dealt with because I just keep building on it, I’m also sad because we’re supposed to love each other and want to be there for each other and yea it was a nice dinner, but being around my family is hard on me and he knows that and he still left me to it alone, again, and I don’t feel like I get the same support in this relationship that I offer him. But I also feel guilty thinking that, because there’s a lot he does for me, just not this.

You see the problem?

I *argue* with myself, with my own emotions, because I try to logically sort out what is fair and valid and what isn’t, and then by the time I get home, I’m so tired from this, that I just give up. We don’t even have the fight I’ve been gearing up for. I argue with myself, I feed into my own emotions, I break my own heart, and then I don’t even have it in me to fight the fight I actually need to.

Maybe this isn’t a healthy relationship. Or maybe I’m just an unhealthy person, and that makes the dynamics of any relationship with me inherently worse.

I’m inside the apartment and sitting on the couch before I really realize it. I don’t fully remember parking and coming upstairs. Muscle memory, force of habit, whatever. I had been driving. Getting that distracted was dangerous. Another thing to be upset about.

“Babe? Oh, good, you’re home. You would not *believe* the match the guys and I just had, you have to hear this…” I take a breath before looking up, and I see him. I always feel like he should look different after I’ve spent the time spiraling into emotions like this, like the pain he caused me should be reflected on him in some way.

He didn’t cause this. He only wanted to stay home. He caused the first anger. I did the rest.

“Babe, you okay?” I blink and realize I’d been staring at him, but hadn’t complimented whatever video game ability he’d just been describing to me.

“Sorry, I zoned out a bit. It’s been a long day.” I bend back to my shoes, working my fingers under the laces.

“See? This is why I don’t like going with you to your family stuff. You always come back in a weird mood.”

“Fuck, Jason, maybe I’m in a weird mood because you don’t go with me?” I bite out before I realize what I’m saying, before I can think more of it.

“‘Jason’? You’re using my name? You only use my name when you’re mad at me.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I’m mad at you.” I look back up to him, still standing in the hallway, like he’s half-torn between coming over to me or going back to his computer. I look back down and start on my second shoe. “Or maybe I’m mad at myself. Or maybe I’m just mad. Or maybe I’m just tired. I don’t know.” I sigh, finally getting both shoes off. I don’t know why I like those shoes. They always hurt. I stay seated on the edge of the couch, and brace my hands on either side of my thighs. I look up at him.

He’s on his fucking phone.

He must realize I’ve stopped talking, because he looks back over at me.

“Shit, sorry, the guys are texting wondering where I am. Sorry. What were you saying?”

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it. Go back to your game.”

He runs over and gives me a kiss on my forehead. He asks if I want to watch something together once he’s done with his game. He disappears back down the hallway.

__________________________________________________

A month later, and it’s the same all over again.

Another lovely but awkward family dinner. “We’re sorry Jason couldn’t make it. We miss him. We hope he feels better. Tell him we say hi!” Because he wouldn’t come with me, again.

Spiraling into emotions. Being mad and then getting mad about being mad and getting mad about being mad that I’m mad and getting mad that I’m mad about being mad that I’m mad…none of those feelings are actually being dealt with. Being sad because we’re supposed to love each other and want to be there for each other and yea it was a nice dinner, but being around my family is hard on me and he knows that and he still left me to it alone, again, and I don’t feel like I get the same support in this relationship that I offer him. But I also feel guilty thinking that, because there’s a lot he does for me, just not this.

But he doesn’t. Do. This. He does a lot for me, but I don’t actually ask for a lot, and I actually ask for this!

And I’m arguing with myself again.

I’m inside the apartment and sitting on the couch before I really realize it. Driving distracted again. I’m pretty sure I remember checking the rear view mirror a few times. At least there’s that. But I’m mad at myself for it, again.

“Did I hear you come in? Oh, hey! You would not *believe* what happened in my show, there was this…” I take a breath before looking up, and I see him, in the hallway, leaning against the wall instead of just coming to sit next to me. He should look different, but he doesn’t. I should look different, but I won’t. I look to the mirror hanging up by the door and confirm.

“Babe, you okay?” I blink and realize I’d been staring at him, but hadn’t complimented whatever video game ability he’d just been describing to me.

“Sorry, I zoned out a bit. It’s been a long day.” I bend back to my shoes, working my fingers under the laces.

“See? This is why I don’t like going with you to your family stuff. You always come back in a weird mood.”

“Yeah, Jason. I’m in a weird mood because of my family. That’s all. What else could it be?” I bite out before I realize what I’m saying, before I can think more of it.

“‘Jason’? You’re using my name? You only use my name when you’re mad at me.”

“Yeah, well…” I look back up to him, still standing in the hallway, and he’s on his fucking phone.

He must realize I’ve stopped talking, because he looks back over at me.

“Shit, sorry, I had been Googling this actor from the show, trying to remember what else I saw him in. Sorry. What were you saying?”

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it. Go back to your game.”

He runs over and gives me a kiss on my forehead. He asks if I want to watch something together when he finishes this episode. He disappears back down the hallway.

___________________________________________________

Two months later.

“Does he not like us? It seems like he never comes with you. We won’t bite, we swear, we just want to get to know him. Try to get him to come to dinner, just the two of us and the two of you.”

Because he wouldn’t come with me, again.

Spiraling into emotions. Being mad and then getting mad about being mad and getting mad about being mad that I’m mad and getting mad that I’m mad about being mad that I’m mad……….

I don’t ask for a lot, and I actually ask for this! And he just won’t come!

I’m inside the apartment and sitting on the couch before I really realize it, again. Driving distracted, again. Mad at myself for it, again.

At least I’m fairly certain I could make the drive between my parent’s house and our apartment blindfolded.

“Are you okay? You weren’t gone for long. Did you even eat?” I hear him coming down the hallway. I stay focused on my shoes, tearing at the laces.

“It’s just been a long day.” I sigh as I remove the shoes. Why do I like these shoes?

“I’m sorry I couldn’t go with you. Is there something I can do for you now?” I lay back into the couch.

Part of me wants to say “You could have gone with me”, but I’m tired. I’m so tired, I don’t even have it in me to fight.

“No, I just need to rest a bit.”

“If you’re sure.” He turns and goes back down the hallway.

____________________________________________________

“Are the two of you having problems? You can talk to us, if you are.”

Two more months, and another awkward family dinner. He wouldn’t come with me, again. I don’t remember his excuses anymore.

Spiraling into emotions. Being mad and then getting mad about being mad and getting mad about being mad that I’m mad and getting mad that I’m mad about being mad that I’m mad……….

I’m inside the apartment and sitting on the couch. I didn’t cause any major accidents, and today I’m calling that a win.

He doesn’t come down the hallway this time. I get my shoes on - God, I hate these shoes - and I head down the hallway to our bedroom.

He’s on his computer, playing whatever new game with his friends. I sit on the bed for a minute before he notices me.

“Hey, I’m gonna hop off mic real quick.” He takes off his headset. “Hey, babe! How was dinner?”

“It was fine.”

“You ok? You seem kinda off.”

“Just been a long day.”

“Do you need to take a break from seeing your family? It seems like lately every time to you see them, you come home upset.”

“Do you love me?”

“What?” He pauses his computer and turns to me. I look him in his eyes, and feel my anger start to crack and fall apart. It’s just a dinner. So what if he doesn’t go with me? Yeah, I want him to go and hurts that he’d rather stay home without me, but it’s really not that big of a deal, right?

“Nothing, never mind…”

He starts to turn back in his chair.

And I feel it.

The spiraling.

“No.”

He turns back to me completely, his eyebrows raised in a question, waiting for me.

“Do you even love me?”

“Do you wanna explain to me where this is coming from?”

So I do. I explain all the spiraling. The loneliness, the anger, the hurt. The anger. The guilt and the second guessing and the excusing. The anger. The exhaustion. The fights I’ve had without him. The anger.

“All of that. All of it. Because you just. Won’t. Come. To. Dinner. With. Me. And you know something’s wrong about it, you always make the shorty comment about ‘This is why I don’t like going with you to your family stuff. You always come back in a weird mood.’ but you don’t fucking put two and two together and realize that I come back in a weird mood alone because you won’t go with me. So. Do you even love me anymore?”

He sits there and stares at me.

Stares.

That asshole.

Finally, he starts.

“Love is complicated…”

“It shouldn’t be. Not for us.”

“Why not for us?” He’s still staring. “Are you and I not human? Are we not allowed complex emotion and idiocy? What makes us special?”

“Because we are us.” Fuck, how do I get him to understand this.

“And we are in love. And love is complicated. You have to acknowledge that you aren’t just you anymore, now there’s this whole other person you’re tied up in and invested in and the lines between you start to blur and sometimes it’s fucking terrifying because you still want to be an individual and maintain your own identity, but it’s also love and some stupid romantic part of you wants to swept away in it, so maybe you dig your heels in and fight for your own identity in some stupid pig headed tiny way that you don’t think matters because maybe the person you’re in love with doesn’t communicate that the way you’ve decided to maintain independence just so happens to be something that’s very important to them and now it’s, fuck, months? years? Into the issue and you’re just learning about it and you feel like an ass for not realizing sooner it’s a problem when you thought everything was fine.” He stands to pace around the room. “Love is complicated, because I love you but I also need some space and time to myself sometimes, and communicating that to you is scary because I don’t want you think that it means something is wrong with our relationship or with you when everything is great, I just need a little me-time.” He pushes his fingers through his hair. “Love is complicated because even though you’re in this complex tangle of emotions and life with another human being and there are places where you aren’t just you anymore and the two of you kinda blend together, you can’t actually read each other’s thoughts and apparently both have been having issues you needed to communicate about that you thought you didn’t need to communicate or couldn’t for whatever reason.” He comes and plops on the bed next to me. “Love is complicated because humans are complicated and that’s that.” He reaches for my hand. “But it’s still love.”

We end up talking for hours. For the dinners, we end up determining that he’ll start coming with me, at least most of them, since now he knows they’re important to me. For the space, we come up with a code word to use that means “I love you, but I need some individual time right now, I’ll talk to you more later” as shorthand so we don’t have to make a big deal out of it if one of us needs space.

Love is complicated, but it can work if the people involved are willing to put the work in

Character A: Do you even love me anymore?

Character B: Love is complicated.

Character A: It shouldn't be. Not for us.

[unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin]

Daddy Orton spoiling his darling, please this Yandere series wants to kill me apparently 😆

Spoiled Rotten Sweet

Summary: The only thing Randy loves more then spoiling you is you.

Warning: this is Yandere, but it’s a bit softer then some of my other stuff. Randy is also given the honorific of ‘daddy’ in the fic.

Taglist: @fiskers7136 @peachmango-kombucha @kcloveswrestling @bellalutionn @xkennyxomegax @tummyyellin @cuzimacomedian @auburnwrites

“Baby!” You heard Randy’s voice call from the living room. You quickly got up from bed to hurry down the hall. You found the man lounging on the couch, a glass of whiskey in his hand. You bounced over to sit on his lap, your legs on either side of him and his arm wrapped around to hold you steady.

“Hi daddy.” You greeted, letting you hands rest on his chest.

“How was your nap baby?” He took a sip of his whiskey.

“Good daddy.”

“Well, something got here while you were resting.” He gestures to the box sitting on the couch next to him. You look between him and the box a bit, making him chuckle. “Go ahead.” 

You reached over and grabbed it, seeing it had been opened already. When you opened the flaps you were met with a pile of deep green clothe. You reached in to feel the velvet and pulled it up, realizing it was a dress.

“You like it baby?” You nodded, still looking at it. You felt a small pinch on your leg, making you Yelp a bit while looking up at Randy. “I ask you something.”

“I love it daddy.” You whispered, feeling him cup your face in his hand.

“Good, I knew it would look amazing on you tonight.” You frowned at his words a bit confused.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’ve been so good these past few months. Doing your chores, not breaking rules, and it’s been a year since… the incident. So, I’m going to take you out for dinner.”

You felt your face light up at his words. It felt to good to be true. “Really daddy?” You practically whispered, worried that he would suddenly say he was lying.

“Really.” He assured you, kissing your lips lightly. “Now go get ready for our night out. I want you to look like my pretty little eye candy.” He sent you off to your room with a light pat on your ass.

—————

An hour later you were wearing the long sleeve dress Randy had gotten you, along with some black heels. Your hair was done along with light makeup, just how Randy always liked it.

“Look at you,” you turned to see Randy leaning against the door to the bathroom. He himself was wearing a black suit, adored with a deep green tie. “Looking like a snake. Half tempted to just keep you here for myself.” You must have looked panicked because he chuckled at you and held out his hand.

The two of you walked to the side door, and you watched as he unlocked it. Once it opened he led you into the garage and helped you into the car. Once he got in he turned to you while locking the doors.

“I will only tell you this once. If you even think about trying anything, I will drag you back home and you will never see the outside of this house again.” His eye were staring right at you, and you you knew he fully meant what he was saying. “Understood?”

You nodded, and that seemed to be enough for him. He pressed a button to open the garage, and turned the car on to drive away.

——————

Randy ended up taking you to a fancy restaurant, and although you were distracted by seeing other people, you had a surprisingly good time. After Randy paid for dinner you expected him to simply take you home, but instead he stopped in front of a tattoo parlor.

“Where are we?”

“I have one more surprise for you.” He said before getting out and getting you out. When you walked in the place was empty except for one tattoo artist.

“Hey Josh.”

“What’s up man? This must be the lady?” The guy greeted, looking over at you.

“This is her, you got the area ready?”

“Lead the way.” He gestured to a seat already set up for someone.

“Sit down Babygirl.” Randy told you, making you give him while eyes.

“W-what?”

“Calm down.” He whispered, hugging you to his body. “I just want a marking showing who’s you are.” His fingers lightly danced over your color bone. “But, I did ask for something extra.” He showed you a photo. It was a design you were going to get a while ago, before Randy, but you obviously hadn’t. “You get mine, and I’ll let you get that. Deal?”

“…Deal” you agreed after a moment of silence.

—————

A week later you looked at the words that were written across you color bone. ‘Daddy’s Princess.’ The skin was no longer red, and you didn’t know how to feel.

“I love that tattoo so much.” Randy’s deep voice whispered as he walked up behind you. “Now you will always belong to me.” At his words you finally let a tear slid down your face. “Aww, don’t cry. Now I can spoil you rotten for the rest of our life’s.” 

[monster-fricker]

Chapter 11: The Luggage Chronicles

Male Orc (He/Him pronouns) x Female Human Reader (She/Her pronouns) - NSFW

- Porn without plot as an apology for being busy. Decided to "switch" things up. 😇 -

The book tour officially began tomorrow. There was a small signing an hour outside the city, followed by a three hour drive to your next destination. Time was limited, save for the evenings. Rasdane made sure to remind Oluan of the schedule, although the orc did not need it. He was too anxious to think about much else. You were also anxious- on his behalf, of course, but also due to the sheer enormity of it all. You were in love with him. You were about to go on a lengthy trip with him. And in the midst of the chaos, you were going to meet his family.

That last part was nothing short of horrifying. You considered the etiquette of calling in sick to the visit, much like you would at work. It wasn't a great idea and even worse when you remembered you were unemployed. Maybe calling out was not the best plan. It did not help that the two of you were going to be spending the night there. What was the etiquette of requesting to sleep in the car? It was definitely rude by human standards, but you weren't familiar with orc customs. Maybe they would welcome the idea. You made a mental note of asking Oluan later.

Since the infamous dinner, Rasdane called him everyday. She never explicitly said so, but it was clearly out of concern, a maternal protection for the orc. When you gave her your number, she began calling you too, always asking how you and Oluan were holding up. Despite her worries, Oluan wasn't upset. To the contrary, he was happy, giddy. Saying "I love you" to one another had seemed to take a weight off of his shoulders, gave him more confidence. He admitted that he wanted to tell you for awhile, that he knew he loved you from the second date. You were giddy too.

Both of you had finished packing, though Oluan would repeatedly check his luggage, convinced he must have forgotten something. It was a good thing his hair was loose or else he would be occupied fixing his ponytail from the amount of times he ran his fingers through it nervously. Even in his frenzy, he was gorgeous- dark hair curling along his shoulders, only dawning boxers, his thick green thighs jiggling slightly with every movement. After the fifth instance of him rummaging through his bags, you decided it was time for a much needed distraction.

"Oluan," you cooed, "Come here." You patted the space beside you on the bed and he gave you a sheepish smile before conceding. The furniture creaked beneath his large frame.

"Sorry, I don't know what to do with myself. I hate the anticipation," he confessed, resting his head on your shoulder. "There's a lot to consider. The meet and greets, the traveling..." His voice lowered. "Seeing my family."

You hummed in agreement. "Yeah, there is a lot to consider, but I think I have an idea of what you can do with yourself." Oluan looked up at you quizzically and you winked in return. It took a moment to register, but once it did, he inhaled sharply. You loved how easy it was to turn him on.

You said nothing more, pulling at his waist to signal that you wanted him to straddle you. The orc scrambled to oblige and, as he positioned himself, he leaned down to kiss you. The kiss was chaste at first, experimental. No matter how long you had been together like this, he was still shy, awaiting orders, awaiting you to take charge.

And you did, opening your mouth for him, slipping your tongue in his hungrily. Oluan did the same, snaking his tongue with yours, long tusks pressing hard against your cheeks as the kiss became more passionate, more demanding. When you bit his lower lip, he whined and humped at nothing, then quickly slid his hands beneath your shirt, groping at your breasts, rougher than usual. He pinched your nipples feverishly and you gasped.

"Mm, someone's feeling a little assertive tonight," you murmured against his lips.

Oluan pulled away, ears turning a brilliant shade of dark green. "I- I want to be dominant this time. I'm usually not, but I- fuck-" He grabbed his bulge through his boxers and squeezed. "Fuck. Is that okay?"

Electricity shot up your thighs. Your clit pulsed. You had never seen him dominant and the prospect was driving you crazy. "Take me," you whispered.

That was all the permission he needed and he growled, leaving you to remove his boxers. His massive cock bobbed out and he took it into his hand, stroking it slowly as his eyes swept over you with severity.

"Take off your shirt and panties," Oluan barked. You obeyed, wriggling out of both and suddenly feeling very exposed. "Now spread your legs for me." Despite the order, he forced your thighs apart himself, unceremoniously shoving one thick finger inside of you while swirling his thumb around your clit. A moan immediately escaped your throat.

"You're practically dripping," he smirked, adding another finger and fucking you with them, your juices splashing out and coating the digits. You were bucking into him now, breathing heavy as he added another, down to the knuckle, circling your clit aggressively. "You like that?"

"Fuck. Yes, y-yes. Feels so good." The words tumbled into the air, your brain entirely clouded by your growing climax.

"You going to cum from me finger fucking you, hm?" he chuckled darkly.

You did not respond with anything understandable, moaning and whining wildly, overwhelmed by the feeling of him filling you up, hitting your g-spot over and over again. When he added a fourth thick finger, you came hard, squirting on his hand, body jerking from the stimulation.

Oluan popped his fingers out of you, sucking on them, then shoving them in your mouth, making you do the same. Your teeth scraped along his knuckles and he growled. Suddenly he was sitting on your stomach, holding his weight up with care, as to not hurt you. You felt small, vulnerable beneath his enormity. Your core surged with heat.

He fondled your breasts, growling once again. "These are fucking delicious, you know that?" You shuddered at the words. "Do you know how often I have dreamed about fucking them? Since the day we first met. I went home and jerked off to the thought."

Oluan glided his massive cock between them, heavy and slick with pre-cum, squeezing your tits together to create a perfect, warm hole for him to thrust into, and he did, snarling and cursing under his breath with each plunge. He was beginning to unravel.

"I want you to cum to this." He rutted further, the head of his cock pressing against your lips momentarily. You opened your mouth and sucked at it with every thrust, making him groan. You moved your hand beneath his thigh and began to finger yourself earnestly, throwing your head back deeper into the pillow, eyes snapping shut. "No," he growled, "I want you to watch. I want you to see what you do to me."

You listened, gaze on him as he fucked you vigorously, your tits sore and bouncing, your core reaching climax in spasms. You cried out, shaking all over.

This sent him over the edge and after a few more fluctuating thrusts, Oluan shot hot ropes of cum on your face. You licked at it, still riding out the waves of pleasure.

Once he was finished, Oluan climbed off of your body, hitting the bed with a thud. He eventually grabbed you tissues to wipe off the mess and you wrapped yourself in his arms immediately, planting demure kisses on his chest and neck and cheeks.

"Was that...," he heaved, "too much?"

"It was fucking perfect," you cooed, exhaustion creeping through your bones.

"I'm not usually like that. But, fuck." You both chuckled.

"I love you, Oluan." Your voice was a whisper now and you were starting to fall asleep.

"I love you too. More than I could ever say."

Suddenly, he removed himself from the bed with a start, making you turn your head in surprise.

"Shit. I wonder if I packed an extra charger," the orc mumbled, returning to his luggage.

"Jesus. You're such a fucking nerd."

Previous Chapter

[skinnyducky]

the meeting // v.h.

This was probably a bit difficult to write because I didn’t know what approach I wanted to go with. But, I found the best approach that fit my style and I hope you enjoy! Also, I’m going to hold off on pt. 4 of Party at Y/n’s. I don’t really like what I’ve written so far with it and I’m going to rewrite the whole part. But, that means you’ll get more stuff like this so...yippee!

Word Count: 1435, slightly edited

WARNING: fluff, language (i think), sexual jokes, and more fluff

---------

Vinnie rubbed his sweating hands together as he thought about whether or not coming with you to your hometown was a good decision. Sure, he’d be sad for a weekend without you…but that wasn’t worse than having to meet your parents. This was a huge step in your relationship, and something that could make or break it. And that fact that you weren’t even slightly scared made him even more afraid.

“I can’t do this. Maybe you should turn around and drive me back to the airport.” Vinnie sighed, fiddling with his rings.

You laughed, keeping your eyes trained on the road. “Vinnie, there is nothing to be nervous about. My parents are going to love you.”

“You say that now, but what if they don’t?”

“Vinnie, they’re going to love you. I haven’t stopped mentioning you since we started dating. Hell, the minute I told my dad about you and your cars, he cried tears of joy. I’ve never seen him that happy before, and I’m his child.” You explained as you pulled into your driveway. “Look, babe, you have absolutely nothing to be worried about. As long as you’re yourself, they’ll love you.”

Vinnie took your words into consideration, and they filled him with a little comfort. Although, they weren’t enough to completely rid him of his anxiety. But still, he was a lot better now than he was a few minutes ago.

“So, are you ready?” you asked, placing your hand on Vinnie’s shoulder. He looked at you with a worried glance and answered, “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

The two of you exit the car and walked up to your doorstep. You knocked on the door and within a few seconds it opened up to reveal your smiling mother. “Y/n!” she cried, pulling you into a tight embrace. She pulled back and looked at Vinnie who awkwardly stood behind you.

“And you must be Vinnie!” she grinned. “The pictures Y/n sent me don’t do you justice! You’re really cute!”

“Mom!” You groaned. She muttered a sorry before turning back to Vinnie.

Vinnie let out a timid chuckle and stuck his hand out for your mom to shake. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Y/l/n.”

Your mom grabbed his hand, but instead of shaking it, she pulled him into a hug. “Enough of that formal crap. Please, call me Y/m/n.” The two broke out of the hug and she ushered the both of you inside, the smell of her famous pasta filling your noses.

“Y/d/n, they’re here!” your mom called, shutting the door.

You heard heavy footsteps come from the living room, no doubt belonging to your dad. The very man rushed towards you and Vinnie with an eager grin on his face. “Y/n!”

“Dad!” you exclaimed, rushing into his arms. He spun you around and put you down, moving his attention to your boyfriend. He cleared his throat, putting on his best intimidating dad act as he stomped over to the boy.

“And I’m guessing you’re Vinnie.”

Vinnie gulped, looking your dad in the eye. “That w-would be me, sir.”

It was silent as the men stared at each other. Then out of the blue, your dad laughed. “I’m sorry, man. I can’t do the whole ‘dad’ act like I used to. Call me Y/d/n.” He shook Vinnie’s hand, much to your boyfriend’s surprise. “Nice to finally meet you, Vinnie.”

“You too, Y/d/n.”

“Y/n told us a lot about you. She mentioned you liked cars.” Your dad pointed out. “I’m a car man myself. Gotta Mustang and a 1953 Hudson Hornet.”

Vinnie nearly lost his shit at your father’s small collection. You could practically feel the excitement radiating off of him. “Really?”

“Not that he drives them though. Don’t let the coolness fool you, Vin. He drives a soccer van.” I teased, making my dad blush.

“I drive the van to work and work only.”

I scoffed, “Sure you do.”

Your mom clapped, gathering your attention. “Well, dinner is done. So, we can go ahead and start eating and catch up.”

“But, honey, I wanted to show Vinnie my cars.” Your dad whined.

“You can show him after, sweetie.”

“But-“

“Y/d/n.”

“Sorry.” Your dad sighed and followed your mom into the kitchen. You and Vinnie exchanged looks and broke out into laughter.

“Like I said, very excited to meet you.” You said, leading him into the dining room.

You and Vinnie sat across from your parents who had brought out the large bowl of pasta. The four of you started eating, catching up on life and what not. Well, at least you and your mom did. Vinnie and your dad were too busy talking about their shared love of vehicles to even be interested in the conversation. Dinner ended, much to the pleasure of your dad. Him and Vinnie headed into the garage where your dad would offer him a beer and show off his collection. You and your mom retreated to the kitchen to wash dishes.

“So, what do you think?” you asked, wiping down a plate.

“I like him. He’s a really good guy.” Your mom responded. “He’s much better than any of the other jackasses you’ve dated.”

“He was so nervous coming here. He thought you and dad wouldn’t like him.”

Your mom scoffed, placing a fork in the drying rack. “Why wouldn’t we like him? It’s obvious that he completes you and that you two are perfect for each other. Plus, I don’t think I’ve ever seen your dad so happy before, and I’m his wife.”

“Hah, I said the exact same thing.”

“It’s true. I wouldn’t be surprised if your dad divorced me for him.” Your mom joked. “Our only concern is that you’re happy, Y/n. And its evident that Vinnie makes you more than that, so as long as he keeps doing what he’s doing…he’s good in our book.”

“Thanks, mom.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Now, let’s finish up these dishes. Real Housewives of Atlanta comes on in a few.”

Around the time you two finished the dishes, your boys came strolling back into the house. You and your mom peeked out from the kitchen, watching in secret as your dad and Vinnie talked to each other.

“…and y’know, I’ve never seen Y/n as happy as she is with you. I can tell that you really care for her,” your dad said, “and as long as you keep doing that, I have no problem with you.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Your dad chuckled, “Now the ‘sir’ is something I definitely have a problem with. I’m not that old, son.”

A smile found it’s way onto your face as you and your mom walked out. “Well, I wouldn’t really consider you to be young.” Your mom quipped, before turning to Vinnie. “He can’t even get it up as much as he used to.”

“Mom!” you shrieked. “What did I tell you!?”

“No sex jokes. Sorry, honey.”

“Especially one’s that aren’t true.” Your dad added. “I’m like a tank; I’m strong.”

You stared daggers at your dad as you stepped beside Vinnie. “Dad!”

“We’re sorry, we’re sorry.” He apologized, finding his way over to your mom. “So, you two headed back to your hotel?” asked your mom.

You and Vinnie nodded, earning a groan from your dad. “Awe, I wish you could stay the night. Although, I don’t think Y/n’s twin size bed would fit the both of you.”

“You’ll see us tomorrow,” you replied. “Remember? We’re going golfing, right?”

“Oh yeah, I forgot!” Your dad said, placing his hands on his hips. “I guess we’ll see you then.”

You and your parents bid your goodbyes—and your dad may or not have cried a bit. He really wanted to spend more quality time with Vinnie. Thankfully your mom was there to console him and keep him distracted long enough for you two to leave.

Once you got into the car, you glanced over at Vinnie to see him smiling. “What’s got you so giddy?” You asked.

“Your dad likes me.”

“I know, me and my mom were spying on you two when you walked in.” You said, starting the car. “My mom likes you too. So, in the end…you had nothing to worry about.”

“I guess not.”

As you pulled out of your parents driveway, you said, “My dad’s right you know.”

“About what? Him being able to still get it up?” Vinnie asked.

You rolled your eyes and giggled, “No, you idiot. About the fact that you do make me happy.”

You watched as Vinnie broke out into a smile. “I do?”

“You very much do.”

[harry-writings]

Bothered

- A blurb in which somebody flirts with Y/n for the first time, and Harry lets jealousy get the best of him

This is a little Drive Me Wild extra for all your valentine’s day needs!!! I hope you enjoy :) 

Masterlist

-

“Tequila, please. The best one you’ve got!”

Open bars at work parties are an absolute lifesaver.

Harry and Y/n have been nonstop on their feet since three, wearing their sunday best, talking to all the higher ups and other officials at the firm with as much professionalism as possible. And though it was certainly a nice break from the work setting, it was still a lot for the both of them to keep up with.

It’s nearly eleven now, the party near its end and the exhaustion finally settling in. But Y/n wouldn’t ever dream of passing up unlimited free drinks whenever offered (neither would Harry, but getting her home safe is his biggest priority). Besides, she needed to take the edge off, somehow.

The bartender smiles at her, his eyes looking at her up and down very briefly before making her drink.

She’s humming softly to herself, her fingers tapping against the bar, the palm of her other hand resting on the back of her neck and she looks around the venue, admiring the architecture and the chandeliers that hang from above her.

“How long have you been working for them?” The bartender asks as he slides the shotglass to her, to which Y/n smiles.

“Almost three years! It’s been really good to me so far. I must say, though, it gets a bit stressful and there are a handful of times we end up having to take our work home. But I’ve met some of the best people through the company, so I can’t complain much! Especially when this is the only job I’ve ever considered staying at for so long.”

When the bartender doesn’t answer, yet rather just stares at her with amusement and endearment in his eye, Y/n starts to get nervous.

She considers diverting her attention back to Harry and moving on with her night as if she hadn’t spoken a word at all, but she’s never been the kind of person to walk away from an uncomfortable silence. And most certainly, she has never found it in her will to escape somebody’s pressing and persistent stares.

All of it just makes her so anxious.

So, as an attempt to calm her nerves, Y/n throws her head back as she takes her shot of tequila, her nose scrunching and eyes squinting as it burns down her throat and settles in her chest.

“What about you? How long have you been working as a bartender? I’ve heard it’s a lot of work, remembering all the recipes and stuff. Whenever I went to university, I would go to bars and get drunk by myself and watch how fast all the bartenders made drinks. I found it mesmerising, really. Like an art, almost. A sport, too, I suppose, given how much you all have to think and act quickly yet unmistakably.”

Harry smiles softly to himself, a bittersweet feeling bubbling in his chest as he listens to her get caught up in her rambles.

She doesn’t do that much with him anymore, not in the way she used to. And it isn’t because she’s lost any trust in him, or because she loves him any less — rather, it’s because she trusts and loves him so much more that she doesn’t feel the need to fill any gaps or spaces between them anymore.

He doesn’t make her nervous.

She doesn’t need reassurance with him because she already knows how madly in love they are with one another and how they are undeniably bound to spend the rest of their lives together. The silences they share are comfortable for her, his simple presence enough to make her feel at ease and loved and respected without him having to constantly remind her.

And surely, Y/n still chews his ear off here and there, but he only ever wants more of her.

It’s a disease, his greed and longing for her. She is so enough yet so not enough at the same time, it kills him to think about it, but only in the best way possible.

But the smile and the admiration die down nearly instantly when Harry’s eyes catch the way the bartender looks at Y/n, and the way he straightens himself before her, and the way his bottom lip tucks between his teeth ever so slightly.

Harry crosses his arms at this, watching the way another man is drooling and fonding over his Y/n and not at all trying to hide it. And the sad part is that he can’t even blame him for it — how could he? He had done the very same thing for nearly two years straight.

So he suffers with it in silence.

“My goodness, I do love me a woman who can carry a conversation.”

Harry’s eyes squint over at him, his arms still crossed over his chest, his fingers twisting as he watches him blink flirtatiously at Y/n and the upward twitch of his lip whenever she flips her hair over her shoulder.

She only ever does that when she’s sweating, he knows this because she’s his girlfriend and he knows her more than he’s ever known himself. He also knows that Y/n thinks too lowly of herself to ever consider one’s kindness as flirting.

And though Harry wouldn’t dare to dream of changing anything about her, he does wish, just this once, that she’d see it.

Y/n blushes at his comment, but only because she doesn’t know what to say.

“Can I have another shot, please?” She asks as a form of distraction, but in such a sweet manner the bartender barely seems to notice. “I never get to go out to drink much nowadays, with work and all. So, I’m sorry if I order too much. Large groups of people aren’t really my thing. Not that I hate people, or anything. I guess they just make me nervous.”

And as the bartender pours her shot glass full of tequila, his eyes don’t make the slightest move to leave her. He’s gawking, looking smug as if he could ever stand a chance.

Y/n pretends not to notice.

“Look, I close down the bar in an hour. And since large groups of people aren’t really your thing, why don’t I take you somewhere nice —”

“Oh...”

“— just you and me, so I can have the chance to get to know you more? Maybe in more ways than one, if I’m lucky?”

Oh, fuck no.

Flirting is one thing, but listening as some stranger talks about wanting to have sex with his girlfriend is something entirely different. Especially when she hasn’t done anything other than be nice and considerate towards him.

He’s taking advantage of her kindness.

Harry can’t hold himself back anymore.

“Excuse me?”

And curse his fucking natural lack of emotion because it was supposed to sound threatening and protective, but rather, it must have come off the way any other customer were to grab a bartender’s attention because he looks over at him with a tight and strained smile, clearly laced with annoyance, with not a hint of suspicion.

“Yes, sir, what can I help you with?”

Harry clenches his jaw and nods his head, his gaze falling to the top of the bar as he tries — really, really tries — to keep himself together instead of knocking this poor bloke’s teeth in.

The urge is there, but he could never scare Y/n like that, or sacrifice his job for satisfaction’s sake — he was lucky he didn’t jeopardize it when he landed a solid right hook on his coworker a few months back. But to make such a rude, blunt, disrespectful comment to his girlfriend is too much for him to process.

But it’s not all anger. There’s something else there — something else brewing and swelling inside of him that’s never been there before. He can’t identify it no matter how hard he tries.

“It would help me tremendously, actually, if you were to stop asking to sleep with my girlfriend right in front of me.”

It’s silent for a moment, the air thick with tension as the bartender looks both between Harry and Y/n, Y/n and Harry. He looks weary of it, as if it were so impossible for her to ever be seen with somebody like him.

“You’re with him?” He asks Y/n, as if Harry’s word wasn’t enough and it nearly throws him off the deep end.

Y/n’s eyes blink with confusion and shock as she tries to adjust herself to her surroundings. Everything happened so quickly to her, she feels like she can’t keep up.

Harry senses this — he senses her uncertainty and uneasiness and takes notice in the way her fingers begin to grip at her shot glass a bit tighter. Confrontation and arguments are not Y/n’s strong suit and in the hands of either one, she is defenseless.

“Is my word not enough for you?”

The bartender lifts his hands up in defense, his eyebrows raised as if somehow proving a point he’s clearly been missing. “Can’t blame me for assuming she’s single, you’re sitting next to the prettiest girl on earth and you look like you couldn’t even be bothered.”

Harry’s hands turn to fists, his jaw clenching and eyebrows twitching as he hears him speak all the words he’d rather die than hear spoken again.

How a complete stranger can cut a wound so deep within him is unfathomable, but here he is, bleeding out with all his insecurities and flaws and weaknesses along with it. And it pains him. It hurts and if one more wrong word is spoken, he’ll fall victim to all the darkest parts of himself.

He can’t risk that, not around Y/n.

“I would highly suggest you stop talking now —”

“You aren’t even interested in her! I gave her more attention in the last ten minutes than you’ve given her all night!”

“Hey.” Y/n cuts in with pouted lips, her face fallen as her voice quivers at the argument brewing in front of her. “That’s not true. He — he’s been beside me all night. I thought it was — I thought it was obvious.”

“Doesn’t matter anymore. We’re going home.”

Harry’s tone is unlike anything she’s ever heard. It’s stern, harsh, laced with impatience as he stands from his barstool and scrambles to gather her belongings.

And Y/n’s at a loss, just standing against the bar helplessly, looking at Harry with tearful eyes and shaking lips. He has never been this angry at her before and she doesn’t know how to fix it. Talking was what got them into this mess, she’s sure talking won’t get themselves out of it.

But it doesn’t hurt to try.

“Wait, H. I’m sorry, I —”

“That’s enough, now. We’re making our last rounds and then we’re going straight home.”

That was the first time he’s ever interrupted her.

-

It isn’t until Harry starts the car that Y/n breaks the silence.

“H, I didn’t know he was going to ask me out on a date.” She speaks with a voice small and shoulders slumped as she tries desperately to fix all the trust she has broken. “I was just trying to be nice and —”

“Not now, Y/n, please.”

She realizes the severity of the situation when he doesn’t call her a pet name.

Her eyes fill with tears, fully aware that even when he was most upset with her, he never interrupted her while talking or avoided her gaze like it was the last thing he ever wanted to see. He’s doing both right now and to say that it hurt her is an understatement.

He’s sick of hearing me speak. He’s angry at me for talking too much to everybody and not noticing the consequences. He’s tired of listening to me make excuses for myself when I’m never going to change. He doesn’t want this anymore.

Her mind can’t help but to think such things, and though deep down in her heart she knows he’d never feel that way towards her, words of her past can’t help but torment her in the heat of this moment. Because this is so different than how it usually is with him, and it all started with her.

Harry can feel how much of a toll his words took on her, but he doesn’t know what to say. He is feeling so many things, and processing so much, he feels like he’s lost himself. All sense of everything else had left him the second the bartender spoke the words he always feared to hear.

You’re sitting next to the prettiest girl on earth and you look like you couldn’t even be bothered.

He knows it isn’t true, and he also knows she knows it isn’t true, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

To know other people see it that way devastates him. He doesn’t date Y/n to look uninterested in her, or bored of her, or tired to be with her — he dates Y/n because he wants to show her off, desires to make her and everybody else see how in love with her he is, to make it known she never has to walk this world alone.

To know he has failed to do that simply by being himself is a lot for him to take in.

He sighs, ripping off his glasses so his other hand can rub at his burning eyes before settling the both of them back on the steering wheel, his gaze still set on the windshield.

“I’m sorry for not letting you finish talking, twice now. It wasn’t right and I know what that does to you. And I’m not angry or upset with you, either. I’m just — I’m just not in the mood right now, alright? I need some time to think.”

Y/n nods, fearing that whatever words she chooses to speak will only make it worse.

Neither of them talk the rest of the way home, but that doesn’t mean Harry doesn’t reach his hand over to her thigh to squeeze at it three times, as if to tell her he loves her.

-

It isn’t until they make it into their bedroom that Harry starts to let it all out.

He’s pacing, his hands fidgeting with his clothes and running through his hair, his eyes wild but still refusing to look at her, muttering curses under his breath but nothing directly towards her just yet.

Y/n’s standing by the dresser, taking off her remaining jewelry and allowing him his time to dwell on his feelings. He needs this. She knows she’s the only person that he’ll ever show this kind of emotion to — he couldn't even show it to himself — so she listens, smiles sympathetically at him here and there, refusing to leave his side until this is all figured out.

He huffs before letting out a sickened laugh.

“Who the hell does he think he is? Telling me I’m not interested in you. I can’t be walking around kissing and hovering and touching all over you at a work party, I respect you too much. But he wouldn’t know a damn thing about that, would he?”

He throws his suit jacket down on the bed, only allowing himself one beat of a moment to shake his head before his hands start to fidget again, pacing around the foot of the bed to try and understand his primary emotion.

He feels a million and ten different emotions scrambling within him at once, he can’t make sense of them. Whether he’s angry, or sad, or hurt, or insecure, or humiliated… he doesn’t know. It all feels the same yet all feels so different. He is utterly lost in all of them.

“Then proceeds to have the nerve to say he’s given you more attention than I have. What the fuck does that even mean? All he does is serve you two drinks and speak one sentence. I give you all my time, all my company, all my attention, and somehow he thinks he’s better for you than me?”

And it hits her.

No wonder he’s been acting so different towards her and so quiet despite him not blaming her for what happened — he’s jealous, which is the exact reason he doesn’t have an understanding with it.

She’s his first girlfriend, and until now, there had never been any reason for him to feel this way.

But as sick and twisted as it sounds, Y/n’s heart warms at the thought of it. Because never once has someone ever had a problem with letting her go. Her loss never affected anybody around her, and so nobody had ever feared it.

To know that out of all people, it’s him who does, means everything to her.

She hums at him, an all too knowing smile on her face as she makes her way to her frantic lover, who stills when he notices her closeness.

Her hands rest at his chest, rubbing at it over his dress shirt, just the way he likes. It reminds him of the night of their first date — when she gave into her cravings and put her hands nearly everywhere they could touch — and so she always goes back to that very first moment.

It never fails him.

“It’s okay, lovebug.” Y/n smiles softly at him, her voice even more soft and tender than usual as she tries to get him to relax.

Her hands slither down the hem of his trousers, her fingers resting just above the swell of his bum and pulling him in closer to her. And he wraps his arms around her shoulders, a heavy sigh leaving his lips before bringing his chest toward her cheek for it to nest in.

“Don’t let somebody get the best of you. Especially when they don’t know anything about you or me or our relationship. We know what we are and what we have, it doesn’t matter what he thinks is better for me. I have what’s best. Forever.”

He sighs, the weight of the night lifting from him slightly, but not enough.

He rests his chin on the top of her head, his eyes on the verge of being soaked with tears. Because though he knows her words to be true, he just can’t seem to shake what’s rattling in his bones and picking at his skin.

He wants it all to be okay, and it almost is, just not fully. And it’s killing him from the inside out.

“It’s a new feeling for me.” Harry confesses sadly, trying to think of the right words to say to explain what’s burning in his chest. “It hurts me to feel it. I’m so comfortable and confident in you and yet somehow I can’t — I can’t stop thinking about you and that fucking bartender and him touching you and making you laugh and —”

“You’re jealous.”

She pulls away from him slightly, her eyes looking up at him softly and sympathetically. He gives into her gaze for only a beat longer before looking away from her again, unable to take it.

It all makes sense — the unfamiliar feelings, the scrambling of emotions, the sensitivity to the words that had been spoken about him. His relationship had been threatened for the first time since it started, how could he not be?

“Of course I’m jealous. Which is absolutely horrible because you look so pretty yet it hurts too much to look at you.”

She chuckles, a playful smirk on her face as she reaches her hands up to his cheeks. And she turns his head to the side, forcing his eyes to look into hers as she rubs her thumb along his cheekbones.

Even like this, he is the most perfect man she’s ever seen. She has loved this person longer than she has loved anything else, how he could ever feel jealous of anybody is absolutely beyond her. He is all she will ever need, and everything she will ever want.

He is the only person that has ever deserved her.

“Baby, you have nothing to be jealous of. I don’t think, since the moment I’ve laid eyes on you, I’ve ever bothered to look for anybody else.” His breath faults, then, his heart dropping as if it were falling in love all over again.

And just like that, the hurt is gone.

“I’m yours, H. I have always been yours.”

He wants her to keep going, so instead of answering, he taps the back of her thigh twice. He’s never done so outside of sex, but he needs her all over him, holding him, hanging onto him. He needs it now more than ever.

She giggles, understanding exactly what he wants before jumping up until her legs are wrapped around his waist and her arms are looped around his neck. He catches her instantly, snuggling his face into the crook of her neck and kissing at the exposed skin.

She loves how much her words have an affect on him.

“I love you so much. I always will. No matter how many sleazy men ask me to sleep with them.”

He whines, lifting his head from her shoulder before looking at her with sad eyes and pouted lips at the subtle reminder that somebody else thought of her that way. Only he has, only he can, it doesn’t matter the circumstance.

She’s his.

She smiles down at him with a small blush on her cheeks, her arms unwrapping from his neck so her hands can grip his face again.

“I sleep with you. Every night. In more ways than one.” She kisses at his lips. “Cause I’m lucky.”

And for the first time tonight, he smiles. And as if that wasn’t enough for her, he laughs too — quietly, breathlessly — his hands rubbing all along her lower back and her thighs.

“Hmm... I am lucky, aren’t I?” Harry hums in bliss, his eyes looking at her fondly as she hangs on his neck in their home and it doesn’t get better than this. She had a man practically drooling on her lap and yet she’s here, with him, loving him, choosing him, just like she always has. “I do have the prettiest girl in the world. And the sweetest. And the strongest.”

“Too bad you couldn’t be bothered.” She teases, a smirk on her lips before her tongue pokes out to run quickly against his closed lips.

He lets out an almost sinister laugh, rumbling so deep in his chest she somehow manages to feel it in her legs.

“Why don’t I show you how bothered I am?”