#i also kinda only half understand the combat system i kinda just Know by heart the numbers meanings and stuff but if you asked me to explain

[harukapologist]

after discovering this game less than a month ago, me at any point in time: man i wish I was playing limbus company rn

[greasygyeom]

Title: Blame it on Me [Part II: Where Do We Go From Here?]

By: GreasyGyeom

Summary: what is someone supposed to do when they have to choose between the love of their life and the career of their dreams.

Word Count: 9.2k

Yugyeom x Reader / Angst, smut (kinda)..more angst. (i use noona but just pretend it’s y/n)

Warnings: Mature content please read only if 18+

Author’s Note: i am back after two weeks this is a character development guys. hope you like part II !! if you do leave an ask or write in your tags. i love hearing from you guys! tell me if it made you feel something. if there’s spelling errors, let me know hahaha. love you guys and thank you for reading.

Read Part I here

Your night burnt by slowly, filled with explanations and fake acceptances of congratulations that everyone showered you with; that you had no interest in. The only reason you stayed awake was because you were hoping Yugyeom would actually come back. Little did you know he’d been so drunk BamBam had to let him pass out on the couch and keep a bucket right next to him; because if drinking had taught him anything, the amount Yugyeom had, he was bound to throw up. 

You, poetically so, had also passed out on the couch. It was hard to believe that in the afternoon you were in a relationship, getting fucked out of your mind and by night you were single, bawling in your living room.

Still, he had to come back at some point, it was his house after all. How was he going to go to work without his clothes? BamBam for sure wasn’t going to let him stretch out his T-shirts.

Hanging onto that hope, you prepared breakfast in the morning, which unfortunately sat out cold until noon, while you face timed your best friend and let out all your pent up emotions.

She advised you to not hang onto the hope of him wanting to be with you for a few days extra. It wasn’t fair to him, because everything said and done, you were leaving. If there was a way around it, you would have done everything within your control to get that promotion without the transfer. Unfortunately the path you were going to take had been set in stone by your company. There was no space for any alterations left.

You didn’t want this to happen but really, what else were you expecting. This was never going to have a happy ending from the start.

Last week you’d wanted him to act like a douchebag so you could be bitter and cop out of being hurt over having to break up with the best guy you’d ever known. 

You finally understood why ‘be careful what you wish for’ was such a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

After your long distance chat, begrudgingly you got dressed for the office; even though you didn’t have to really go officially—you were off until you started at London next Friday—there was some paperwork that needed your signature. You wanted to get it over with so as to spend the next few days peacefully crying in bed.

Half-heartedly walking to the train station, you wondered if you’d even crossed Yugyeom’s mind since yesterday.

Maybe it was a bit selfish, but you wanted to know if he was thinking about you; or was it just you that was miserable.

He was.

Of course he was.

While he chugged a bottle of water, because his mouth felt like sandpaper, all he could worry about was how you were going to pack all your belongings in such a short amount of time, without forgetting the most important stuff; and how he was going to not lose his sanity over it. 

Ominously so, life had come such a full circle for him; because had your colleague not been a student at the academy, he would have never met you.

The work-life that brought you to him, ultimately took you away too. 

Funny how the universe works, right?

He’d drank so much alcohol the previous night in hopes of forgetting you that even an hour without your face swimming in his head would have been worth it. Yet, all night all he lamented about was how unfair it was that he was going to have to let you go.

His friend circle–that over time had also become your friend circle–had been made aware of the whole ordeal, so they knew what to expect. They were just surprised by the magnanimity of it. 

Yugyeom had never been heartbroken—at least to this extent. In the 10+ years of knowing him, he’d never expressed so many emotions in such little time to any of his friends. It was like witnessing a compressed pack of cocaine burst under high pressure; messy and not a good look for anyone.

When he woke up he already had a text from Jaebeom very sternly asking him to not come in to work until he got his shit together, several texts from Mark asking how he was feeling and to start hydrating his body immediately, and a whole essay from Jackson on how he should drop his tough guy act and be with you till it was time to go. 

He hated being called out like that.

Yugyeom: Hyung you’re supposed to be my friend and tell me I should forget her immediately. His text elicited an immediate response. 

Jackson: Listen you brat. I’m your friend that’s why I’m asking you to spend the last few days she is here with her. Because I know you and you’re going to regret this later.

Yugyeom: Tell me, how does it matter if she’s out of my life today or after five days?

Jackson: You won’t even try to stay in touch?

Yugyeom: No.

Jackson: Is that a mutual decision?

Yugyeom stopped replying after that, because now that he was sober, he was back to not being able to aptly express his feelings and he actually didn’t know the answer to that question. 

He’d thought about this so much yesterday, while in bed next to you. There was no expiration date on your time in London, there wasn’t even any guarantee that after London you’d come back—you could get transferred to anywhere in the world. That particular uncertainty had torn his heart into smithereens and had led him to end the relationship so abruptly. 

It had seemed logical yesterday.

Today? not so much.

You’d zoned out staring at a travel bag while window shopping. After your work was done you thought of giving retail therapy a shot, an endeavour that was proving to be extremely unsuccessful, for the lack of focus you were carrying with you.

A loud, screeching, honking bus on the road snapped you back to reality, but not really. You were still dazed and confused and within seconds wanted to go back home, wondering why you thought this was a good idea in the first place. 

You did buy three pastries and a venti on your way though, to devour your feelings once home. To discover that you’d forgotten how you lived life before Yugyeom and not understand how to combat it, was definitely taking a toll on you. The concept of being without him seemed so outlandish, it felt like a distant dream you might have had in your childhood. For now, until you found a way out of this maze, unhealthy coping mechanisms would have to do.

Truth be told, you were itching to call him. When it came to him, your ego was barely existent.

You were still plenty mad and wanted him to realise how stupid he was for not taking you up on the offer last night, of course, but you also wanted hear his voice equally badly, at the cost of him being unwilling to entertain you.

You had been postponing your urge every hour, since morning, because this time around you were reluctant to lose this battle; even though you’d already lost the war.

At 9am it was ‘Wait for another hour, maybe he’ll turn up.’ At 10am it became ‘Maybe I’ll stop by the studio’– but that was too much effort (and you were in no mood to face Jaebeom). When you were leaving for work, you baited yourself by saying you’ll call him after you were done at the office and currently you were convincing yourself to wait till you reached back home, so that at least when he ignored your calls, you could cry into a cup of tiramisu and feel better about it.

That thought was more comforting than it needed to be.

This awkwardness of not being able to wiggle your way into his life this time, was eating you inside, honestly. It’s not that you’d never had disagreements and fights before, where he’d left for Bam’s because he was too frustrated to even talk to you—in spite of him indulging his anger to a bare minimum, there had been plenty of those. But this was the only one time where saying sorry and promising to buy him chocoshakes for a week wasn’t going to cut it.

Along your route home, you bought more food—a full loaf of strawberry bread from the train station, some chips and a sandwich at the convenience store, a slice from the pizzeria nearby and finally your favourite fried chicken. Clearly, you had a lot of feelings to chew through and some days of solitude to chew them.

You hadn’t anticipated the struggle to get your apartment door to open, with all those packets hanging on your arms, trying not to spill any of the contents. What you also didn't anticipate was Yugyeom opening the door from inside, asking you to hand over some of the things you were holding.

You felt your system shut down like windows 98 being attacked by a trojan.

Was this real? Was this a delusion and you'd really just dropped everything on the floor? 

“Yu….gyeom?” You called out, afraid of not actually hearing an answer.

“Why are you still standing outside, noona?”

“Oh-uhm-I….” you fumbled, before closing the door. “This.. is-uh?? Hmm-what-what are you… doing here?”

“Honestly? I don’t know.” He replied curtly.

You furrowed your brows accompanying it with frown lines on your forehead, indicative of the confusion you were unable to convey verbally. 

However, you chose not to question him further, not wanting to go wherever that interrogation would have taken you. You were more than content to see him move around at close proximity, even if it was in silence. 

There were plenty of places he could have gone, really, he didn’t have to be there if he didn’t want to; but he did want to. Oh god he’d wanted to see you so badly. More so than the hangover, it was a bizarre feeling in his chest, from the way he’d behaved with you last night, that had caused him discomfort all morning. That and Jackson’s messages. 

Was he really not even going to try to keep in touch? But then….. who likes to stay in touch with an ex? 

“Want some cake?” you asked, in an effort to dissipate the elephant in the room. “Or some other food? Pizza? You look like shit, you should probably eat something greasy.”

“You went and bought the whole shop didn’t you?” he raised his eyebrow. 

“I… did not. I was….. craving a lot of things.”

“You know, the only times you’ve bought so much food is when you’re sad about us fighting over something.”

“Well—I am sad,” you paused, “and we are fighting ... and this one seems to be the last one.”

“For now” he added and then immediately retracted his statement 

“I’m...I don’t know why I said that. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Yugyeom... baby,”

When did you even get close enough to do that, he wondered, as you cupped his face.

“I’m really sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, you know?”

He put his arms around your waist and pulled you into a tender hug, because if he looked into your eyes any deeper he would have either kissed you or teared up; and neither was a good option to choose from.

“Noona will you promise me something?” he then asked, his words heavy and morose.

“Hmm?”

“Please try your best to forget me.”

You weren’t expecting that sentence to knock the wind out of your lungs, because you weren’t expecting to hear that sentence at all.

You broke away from him, tears accumulating against your will. 

“Did you come here to hurt me, Yugyeom?”

It felt like a sword was now ominously hung above your head, when you looked at him; and it could fall at any moment and sever your head.

“Don’t take this the wrong way. I just…. I don’t know. Don’t hold onto some irrational hope or something. That’s all I meant.”

“Irrational hope? Really, of what? Getting back together someday? You wanna get rid of me and move on so fast that you want me to forget you? Is that it?”

“Don’t twist my words. That’s not what I meant. You know that’s not what I meant.”

“You think I don’t understand that this is the end for us?”

“Just ... leave it, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Yeah you shouldn’t have.”

“But I don’t want to be the reason you hold yourself back in London. That’s all.” He yielded, not wanting to make matters any worse.

“You know what…. I was wrong to think it would be a good idea to pretend like nothing’s changed until I get on the plane. You win.” 

The anger in your tone and your deadpan face made it very clear that you were not interested in holding a conversation about this, any further. “I’m gonna go start collecting my stuff. I should be out of your apartment and your life, by tomorrow evening.”

Before Yugyeom could react, you slammed the bedroom door shut and locked yourself inside.

One second later he was banging on the door frantically.

“Noona! Come on, open the door please.

Please, baby!”

He must have stood there trying to rotate the knob, begging you to let him inside, for at least fifteen minutes before giving up and sliding onto the floor.

This was turning out to be worse than his worst nightmare.

If he knew you at all, he knew you would want to come out to smoke soon. So he sat by the door, getting annoyed at himself for saying that and at you for taking it out of context.

Before coming here, he’d asked for Jinyoung’s opinion on whether this was a good idea or not; and Jinyoung had replied asking him to not do anything foolish. He had assumed Jinyoung meant going to his house to meet you was the foolish act. Dejectedly, he typed a text.

Yugyeom: Well…. I should have listened to you. I went to see her and you were right, it was a bad idea.

Jinyoung: when did I say that was a bad idea?

Yugyeom: you said not to do anything stupid

Jinyoung: yeah, I meant don’t go there and mess it up. I didn’t mean don’t go there at all. What did you do?

Yugyeom: oh…. nothing. 

Jinyoung: I can call her and ask.

Yugyeom: No! Fuck. please don’t do that. She’s already pissed at me.

Jinyoung: what did you do

Yugyeom: I asked her to move on

Jinyoung: huh?

Yugyeom: I don’t want her to get hung up on me and us and the maybes and what ifs when she's there. Because I know she will.

Jinyoung: and what about you? Are you going to try your best to forget her?

Yugyeom paused and stared at that question for a few minutes. No…. of course not, how could he want to forget you or anything about you. Even if every memory attached to you dug into his organs like shards of glass, he’d gladly take them all to his grave. 

Yugyeom: she doesn’t need to know if I do it or not.

Jinyoung: I’m glad God gave you the gift of dance because clearly intelligence and common sense are completely lost on you. 

Yugyeom: hyung i'm really not in the mood to be insulted right now.

Jinyoung: Jackson asked you to drop your tough guy act didn’t he? She doesn’t need you to protect her. She’s never needed anyone to protect her from anything. You should stop trying to save her from whatever it is that you think you’re saving her from.

Yugyeom: I’m not trying to do anything. I don’t want her to regret going to London.

Jinyoung: How is asking to forget you a solution to that? Say hypothetically she does forget you. In a years time she doesn’t give a fuck about what you meant to her. She meets someone else and starts dating, maybe even gets engaged. Would that make you happy?

Yugyeom: No. But she’ll be happy. 

Jinyoung: that’s your problem. You’re assuming that forgetting you and finding a new life would make her happy. 

Yugyeom: Well won’t it? Idk I just don’t want her to be hung up on us and if she gets stuck on it, I don’t think she will be. 

Jinyoung: You just said you don’t wanna move on so then why the fuck are you forcing it on her?

Yugyeom: hyung she doesn’t need to know how miserable I am. Without knowing that whenever she sees me she apologises to me. if she gets to know how much I want her to stay I’m scared she’ll turn down the promotion. She’s already thought about not going.

Jinyoung: let her make her own decisions? Right now you’re lying to her. I’m 95% sure she’s pissed because you’re trying to act unfazed by all of this.

Jinyoung: Just this one time, try to not bottle up how you’re feeling.

Jinyoung: tell her you have no interest in moving on. Be honest, man.

Jinyoung: and just saying, asking the ‘love of your life’, who calls you ‘the love of her life’, to forget you after 12 hours of breaking up is a shitty thing to do. She should have kicked you in the balls. 

He typed up a stingy reply to that but, before he could send it, the sound of you unbolting the door from inside distracted him. Hurriedly, he stood up, to catch hold of you. 

“Yugyeom, leave me alone. You got what you wanted?”, you spoke frostily.

“Are you going to smoke?”

“Are you going to stop me?”

“No.. But I wish you’d hear me out. Let me say my piece and if you’re still pissed, I’ll leave. I promise.”

After opening the window sill and lighting your cigarette, you waited for him to start. Your face was red and hurting from crying so incessantly, but you were determined to not let your emotions get the best of you, in front of him. At least, not right now. 

“When I asked you to forget me, I didn’t mean… you know, erase me from your memory or whatever. I meant give yourself a proper chance at happiness, when you’re there.”

You gave him no expressions.

“Like… I’m not dying to move on. This is killing me. I don't want us to come to an end. I even thought of giving long distance another shot… or like you know….maybe just keep in touch. But every time I thought about it, it was too painful. So I couldn’t ask you to do that because I…. didn’t wanna do that.” 

Saying that out loud made him realise how selfish he sounded. He continued his monologue when you wordlessly stood still and puffed away.

“I wanted to pretend like this isn’t hurting me, but I’m so miserable, noona. I don’t know how to live without you. I don’t even want to know how to live without you. But, I want you to live your life without me; which is hypocritical, I guess, but that’s why I asked you to forget me.”

“That’s really fucking unfair.” you interrupted. “You’re planning things for me without asking what I want. That’s not how it works. If I want to move on or not, is my decision. If I want to be miserable over you or not, is my decision. If I want to live my best life in London or not, again, is my decision. I have never loved anyone like I’ve loved you, Yugyeom; so what you asked of me was just cruel. I know I want to live in a fantasy until I have no option but to accept the outcome. I know it’s not a good way to deal with things. How could you even think  that forgetting you would ever be an option?

“I’m sorry” he pursed his lips and looked at the floor.

“When I said we have five more days, I wanted to play pretend. I was just trying to live in this denial bit longer. 

“Then… can I live in that denial with you?”

“No, I’m sorry, I gotta pack and hand over the house to the owner by tomorrow.”

“I’m sure the owner will understand if you’re delayed by a day or two or four.”

“I’m tired of running around in circles with you man”, you sighed. “No matter how this turns out, I will never not love you. Maybe in ten years time you’ll be with some other girl and I’ll be with some other dude, even then I will probably, in some capacity, still love you. And I get it if you don’t want to feel the same way, you don’t have to. But don’t ask me not to.”

“Thinking about you with someone else really fucking hurts.” he admitted, feeling a knot tighten in his throat.

“It hurts me too but you’re the one so fucking adamant about moving on like it’s gonna happen in 2 days.”

“Are you still angry?”

“Yeah, of course... but I can let it slide if you promise to forget about me.” 

“Haha very funny.”

You chuckled and he wasted no time in giving you a kiss on the forehead.

“The only thing I can promise you is that I’ll love you till I die.”

“No one is dying, baby.”

“Without you, I just might.”

“Jaebeom won’t let that happen, you’re the second reason his studio has clients.”

“What’s the first?”

“Jaebeom, obviously.”

Yugyeom rolled his eyes at you. “He’s going to have to be the only reason, till next week because I’m stuck to you till you get on that plane.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I’m not letting you leave that room for the next 100 hours, starting now.”

He didn’t give you much time to process his words, as he picked you up to take you into the bedroom. You tried to fake-protest to the best of your capabilities, but truth be told there was no better feeling than hiding your face in the crook of his neck; while he effortlessly carried you in.

Making his intentions for the night perfectly clear, he took off his shirt.

“Wait-wait-wait!” you yelped, pinned under his lithe form. “All the food is on the table, I'll be damned if that Tiramisu goes to waste. I’ll be back in five.”

“Make it three.”

“Okay baby.”

Then you kissed him on the nose and ran out.

Since your last reconciliation, you'd spent most of your time in bed, mostly without clothes, wrapped in Yugyeom’s arms; savouring every kiss, every touch, trying to save these ending moments in your memory, so you could replay them over and over again at the end of this week when all this would inevitably be over. Your departure was three days away and the fact that you were still unpacked was beginning to weigh down on you heavily. You were at a point where you couldn’t really avoid it any more; even though it was antithetical to the denial you’d built your cozy house in.

As much anxiety you had regarding leaving and not wanting to deal with that, there was an equal amount of anxiety related to not being prepared ahead of time. It was a lose-lose situation either way, with consequences that weren’t susceptible to change. So, you decided to rip the bandaid completely, to avoid running around like a headless chicken at the last minute.

You didn’t have to deal with the furniture, at least, because even though some of it was bought together, Yugyeom owned the apartment. You just had to sort through your clothes and products.

He wasn't the most excited at the thought of seeing you empty out the house. 

“Do you know your living situation in London?” he asked, trying to hold up a conversation.

“Yeah…they’re giving me a furnished apartment as part of the deal.”

“Wait no rent?”

“Uh-huh”

“Woah that’s amazing.” The lack of excitement completely contradicted his statement. “And who’s gonna help you set up and stuff? Won’t you need help?”

“Uhm... mum’s already gonna be there when I land. Not at the apartment, obviously, but…. in London.”

“Aah. Ok ok. It’ll be good, you haven’t seen your parents in a long time”

“Hmm I guess.”

“And your visas and shit?”

“Yeah my passport’s with the company, they’ll sort it all out and hand it to me on the day of the flight.”A

Yugyeom felt like he’d accidentally stepped on an emotional land mine. 

He was already gutted about seeing his closet empty, and now hearing your monotone voice just upset him even further. But he didn’t want to show how sad this was making him either, because then you would probably cry.

It was really frustrating.

He quickly made up an excuse to leave for a bit. “Is it okay if I go to the studio, Jaebeom hyung needs me to sort through some assessments. But if you need me to stay, I’ll tell him something.”

”No, it’s okay. I have to face time Ishi anyway. I haven't spoken to her in a hot minute. And Jae has been more than patient this past week. I’ll try to be done soon too. It’ll probably take me 4-5 hours.”

Oh.

 “I’ll definitely be back by then.”

“Or… maybe I can meet you at the station and we can go to Naksan?”

He gave you an affirmative forced grin, kissed you on the forehead and headed to the studio to redirect all the aggression he was so suddenly full of.

Just knowing that you’d be leaving a giant gaping hole in his life, was driving him nuts. He wasn’t sure if he could keep up his end of the bargain any longer. You at least would get to start over a new life, in a new place with new faces. But he was going to have to pick up pieces of his life that he knew you were about to leave behind shattered; and never look back at 

Your fragrance lingered in every corner of his apartment. His bathroom smelt like your shampoo, his closet smelt like your body spray and cigarettes, his bed.… how was he ever going to exorcise your memories out of his bed? His king size bed that had not seen a dip on the right side up until you had waltzed into his life. Everything was going to remind him of you. His favourite restaurants, clubs, hideaways—it was overwhelming him. 

“Aah fuck” he mumbled to himself, absent-mindedly walking into the studio - much to Jaebeom’s surprise.

“I thought you weren’t coming in?”

“She’s packing. I’ll break something if I have to sit through it.”

“Don’t break anything here.”

“Maybe my bones.”

“The third room is empty.”

He was barely going to be able to concentrate on whatever choreography he was going to try, but he acknowledged Jaebeom and locked himself inside.

Jaebeom also felt rather incompetent to handle the situation, since he’d never seen this volatile and mostly upset side of Yugyeom. So he just let the kid do whatever he wanted to. No one knows what to do until you actually start doing it, right? Jinyoung would probably disapprove of this philosophy, but he wasn’t there to voice his objections, so too bad!

When dancing, Yugyeom barely ever understood the concept of time, so between choosing a song, researching some new styles, to mentally animating the possible formations, 4 hours flew by. He yelped and hurriedly ran to his phone, hoping he wasn’t already late.

You sighed heavily at the other end of the call “no... I’m still working through the pile. It’s probably going to take me two hours more.”

“It’ll be too dark to go to Naksan then.”

“Yeah…. I guess. Just come home?”

“It’ll take me some more time at the studio though.”

“That’s okay, take your time. It’s a mess here anyway.”

“Hmm… I’ll see you later then, noona.”

And he went back to focusing on perfecting the new moves, even harder than before, because otherwise your voice would keep ringing in his ears. He could hear how disheartened you already sounded and he wanted to be there for you, but he had to take care of his own feelings first, before he could take care of yours.

He didn’t know he could feel such a foul mood, but that’s what his days had recently been made of. All he’d done was get blackout drunk, fight and then fuck; this wasn’t a routine he recognised at all.

It was almost nine in the night when he entered the house, fully expecting to see you still having a rough time with a mountain of clothes next to you. Surprisingly, he found you passed out next to an empty cup of coffee.

He peeked inside the bedroom and his eyes immediately went to the two giant suitcases stacked in the corner and a cardboard box balanced on top of them.

His closet now housed his bare minimum collection of T-shirts and sweatpants and the bathroom was entirely stripped of its former glory. It was depressing. He took a quick shower and considered slumping onto the bed, knowing full well he should wake you up and make you eat something.

Who was going to feed you actual healthy food in London, with him not around? Because if you had it your way, you’d call a bag of chips dinner and call it a day.

He tried with everything he had, to not care about it and went back into the bedroom, fully determined to go to sleep. Perhaps it was his frustration towards the situation that was garnering such a petty reaction. But then he thought about it for five minutes more and felt like an absolute asshole. Why was he taking this out on you? It’s not like you deliberately caused it. It’s not even like he wanted you to stay for him.

He shook his head almost aggressively, as if trying to physically shake off the bad thoughts and went back out, to do what he actually should have done as soon as he came home.

You’d fallen asleep in the most haphazard position; your head resting on your arms on the kitchen island top, and your body stretched out on the chair. It didn’t look comfortable whatsoever.

He nudged you gently, “noona?”

You barely even stirred.

“Wake up, baby”. The butterflies he gave you, at such close proximity, made you open your eyes. 

“What time is it?” you groaned, lifting your head the slightest bit.

“It’s almost 10.”

You did a little cat stretch. “Did you just get back?”

“No... it’s been a bit, I took a shower and everything”.

“Oh… okay. I was planning on taking a bath too” you trailed off, yawning through the rest of the sentence.

“I’ll make something for us till then.”he replied, thinking about what they could eat, but his chain of thought was disturbed by a phone call.

“Oh hyung, yo.” you heard him say. His energy seemed so low.

“Wait right now? I don’t know hyung.”

Inquisitively you tilted your head and he handed you the phone. The quota of patience he had for the day was very low. 

You could see Jackson’s name on the screen and you greeted him accordingly.

“You wanna chill here?” You repeated, simultaneously gesturing to Yugyeom about his thoughts on the matter at hand. 

He shrugged indecisively and you came to the realisation that you hadn’t actually thought of when you’d say your final goodbyes to Jackson, or in fact anyone else except for Yugyeom; so now seemed like as good a time as any.

“Yeah cool, how long will you take?”

With his patience running on thin ice, the man standing in front of you frowned, but you pretended to not notice it. Instead, you stretched and headed for the shower, avoiding his gaze. Yugyeom’s energy was all over the place and you were lowkey glad you wouldn’t have to deal with it by yourself.

You thought about planning your day tomorrow and meeting at least some of the people you cared about. What you hadn’t expected was Jackson bringing most of those people to you.

Half an hour after the phone call, your living room was at full capacity. It wasn’t even that many people honestly, just your usual hang-out group - a mixture of your and Yugyeom’s combined friend list, but your living room looked full. 

Yugyeom was even more displeased than before, but managed to hide it by holding onto a bottle of beer, like it was crucial to his existence.

“He didn’t say he was coming with…. everyone.” You sheepishly expressed. 

“It’s fine. At least you get to meet most of your friends.”

“Yeah I guess, i was just thinking about it.”

You get distracted by a hand on your shoulder, “thinking about what?” Bambam asked

“Meeting some people before leaving.” You repeated.

“Ooh depressing.” 

“That’s one way to look at it.” You gave him a deadpan stare, unimpressed by his poor timing.

Yugyeom took the opportunity to wander off to his other friends, most of whom were gathered around the table of food, in front of the TV.

Some random nonsense movie was playing that Mark and his girlfriend were really invested in. He considered sitting next to them but he was not sure when they’d start making out, so he parked himself next to Jaebeom instead. His head was heavier in that moment than it had been in the morning, when he’d left. He couldn’t leave right now though, Jackson would beat his ass.

So he settled for eating silently and drinking slowly, in his little corner.

Meanwhile, you were trying to keep up a brave face. Jackson had already repeated himself at least thrice, saying how much he was going to miss you and it was getting more and more difficult to hold your tears. 

Taking a large gulp of the wine you had in your hand, you told him you were going to miss him a lot too and gave him a partial hug.

There was no scope of hiding from the reality of the situation anymore.

Two days later no one in this room was going to physically be a part of your life. Just two days. All you wanted to do was find Yugyeom and bury your head in his chest, like the ostrich that you were.

You took in some really deep breaths and poured yourself more booze, in the hopes of turning it around and becoming chipper.

Inevitability should be accepted or else life begins to feel like a drag…. no?

Alcohol made it a lot easier for you to bury the sadness that came with your unofficial ‘bon voyage’ celebration. A part of you was also suddenly scared to approach Yugyeom. You studied his face carefully, discreetly, while seated on the couch. Get togethers usually made him hyper, yet here he was looking into his phone like he was studying for a phd degree.

Even though there was an overwhelming urge to go and talk to him, you decided against it. If he wasn’t feeling some type of way, he would not have isolated himself like that and you knew you were partially to blame for it 

You indulged in more cocktails, talked to your friends and somewhere in the middle of all this chatter, Jackson, for the nth time commenced a relay of toasts addressed to you. Really on brand of him to talk about his feelings like that but because you were caught so off-guard you started crying.You weren’t prepared for this kind of emotional haranguing.

Yugyeom hated every minute of it. He didn’t want to hear over and over again that you were leaving, or see you cry. He should have declined Jackson’s proposition when he had the chance to, but now he had to deal with long speeches almost all of which included him too. He felt his lungs constrict like he was about to drown. Jaebeom gave him a comforting pat on the back and passed him a new bottle of soju. 

From time to time he looked at you but avoided eye contact. He knew he should have been next to you, hugging and comforting you, he just couldn’t bring himself upto the task. It was that same resentment he had felt earlier today that made him respond in this fashion. All he wanted was this night to end and for everyone to leave. But then again, maybe this was better because he didn’t have to be alone with you. 

You cried for a good hour while everyone told you they were going to miss you. There were long hugs and accelerating levels of inebriation involved. You promised to text everyone back because at that moment you had no proper words to say and you wanted to tell them all so much. 

By the time you crossed your threshold of tipsy to near blackout drunk, it was almost daybreak. The sun was just beginning to peek at you from behind the mountains. 

Yugyeom was in a worse shape than you, so Jackson and Jinyoung decided to clean up a bit, as your parting gift; trying to rope in Bambam in.

“No way. I know what’s coming after she leaves. I deserve a break before donning my emotional clean up crew role.”

“Don’t lie, you’re both just going to drink.” 

“Yes and drown him in his sorrows. This is how you clean out emotions. He’s gonna drink and cry.”

“That’s the worst way to deal with anything.” Jackson rolled his eyes

“Hyung…. you work out and write music, he drinks and dances. It’s not really all that different.”

“It’s not the same either though. If I feel something I don’t carry it with me. All he does is let it eat him until he forgets it or explodes.”

Can you debate about this later and help me carry him to the bedroom?” Jaebeom interrupted. 

Jackson handed the empty bottles to Jinyoung and got to the task of shifting Yugyeom’s large body from the couch.

“Just him?” Bambam asked

“I already tucked her in,” Jaebeom replied. “We should get out of here soon.”

“Yeah, I still have to go to work. Can’t believe Youngjae and Mark left me alone.” Jinyoung complained, trying to make as little noise as possible while trashing the garbage.

With a lot of difficulty, Jackson was able to plonk Yugyeom on the bed. Jaebeom studied you both before heaving a sigh. The peaceful look on your faces was not an accurate testament to your respective behaviours prior to passing out. But there wasn’t anything he could do about it. He kept a trash bag and a bottle of water each near your nightstands before leaving. 

At least he could hope that when you wake up, you’d feel better.

... You didn’t.

The splitting headache you were experiencing was really on another level when combined with your sandpaper mouth. Thankfully things were conveniently placed around you because if you had to walk to the kitchen to drink water right now you'd rather die of thirst than get up. Your attention turned to the man next to you, his porcelain skin tempting you to kiss him or at least stroke his face, but you resisted. 

You finished the whole bottle and gently lowered yourself back into the bed, lying awake with throbbing pains radiating from various places. 

Yugyeom made a cute sound in his sleep, making your heart jump. It was nearly impossible to not want to scoot closer to him. He hadn’t given you a hug in all of twenty four hours and you were already about to lose your mind.

How you were going to survive without him was really beyond your comprehension.

You just lightly touched your fingers to his palm and closed your eyes, hoping you’d fall back to sleep. The next thing you knew he had one arm around you and was pulling you into his chest; aligning his body with yours. His soft breaths landing on the back of your neck, making you shiver.

“Feeling okay?” He asked in his hoarse, morning voice. 

“Hmm…”

You could feel his lips moving against your skin as he spoke, making you melt in his embrace. Your heartbeat accelerated and he held onto you even tighter. 

Melancholy hung in the air, much like Christmas decorations in December; he could feel it. Your legs intertwined and he heard a faint sob.

There was nothing he could say that would change the atmosphere. It was time to burst the bubble, so he let you cry, and he cried too.

Head buried in your back, he whispered, “noona…. please will you leave a hoodie of yours with me?”

You nodded and kissed his hand. 

“I love you.” He said and the both of you went back to sleep. 

It was almost evening when he finally woke up. You weren’t in bed anymore, his head was hammering to a tune of it’s own, in spite of having medicated in the morning, and his body was craving water. Staggering, he made his way to the kitchen and found you in a semi-messy situation with cooking paraphernalia all over the counter.

“Oh? What is happening here”. It sounded like he was concerned but he was really only a bit confused. 

“making some sandwiches.”

“Suddenly? Why? We could have just ordered.”

“Yeaaah I don’t know, just felt like it.”

He smiled, because you looked so cute in that apron. His mood was foul but looking at you made it better. He chugged some water while you emptied the pan and he was overcome with the urge to hug you.

You were caught off-guard when he put his arms around you, but you reciprocated his gesture. It was difficult for you to look him in the eyes because you weren’t sure if, for the hundredth time, you'd end up crying. He cupped your face and nudged you to see him, the sincerity in his face…. all the love he wanted to shower you with right then.

He kissed you slowly, taking his time to taste the light traces of your strawberry lip balm. You didn'’t know what spells he used to get you turned on so fast. Threading your fingers with his hair, you deepen the kiss. The urgency that took over him was maddening. He wanted you right now, which he made abundantly clear when he slipped his left hand under your T-shirt and began caressing your boobs; his other hand gripping your hair and pulling it sharply. 

There was air caught up in your lungs as he kissed your neck, like you’d temporarily forgotten how to breathe. Low moans began to escape your lips and you squeezed your thighs together. You were so wet, just with his mildly aggressive kisses.

He knew what he was doing to you when he felt your lower body clench and both his hands slid back down to grab your butt.

The kiss got sloppier as your focus dwindled to his boner, your fingers already caressing it over his sweatpants. He bit your lip in response, pushed you against the kitchen island and aimed to remove your clothes. You were still in your flannel and shorts from the night before, so he fumbled a bit on the buttons. His accuracy was failing him because you weren't stroking him over the sweatpants anymore; he could feel your hand sliding over his skin, purposefully slow and tender. His eyes were barely open, your lips were still locked and he was trying to get you naked without actually seeing what he was doing. He grunted helplessly when you touched the tip of his cock. Wet sounds of you stroking his length, mixed in with his shallow breaths and moans, filled the kitchen. 

He nibbled on your neck, as your movements accelerated. With your non-dominant hand you tried your best to remove his sweatpants, but he stopped you.

“Turn around.” He whispered, pulling your hand away. The way he seduced you with his demanding voice and bedroom eyes, you gave in without a fight. You bucked your hips and grabbed the closest edge of the marble top. He bit your neck, gently sucking at the skin caught between his lips, until it looked bruised and then he moved on further down, while dry humping your ass, one hand firmly placed on your waist. A small gasp escaped your lips when his fingers slipped inside your panties. Automatically, you spread your legs wide, to let him access the delicate parts. 

He could smell your shampoo mixed in with your intoxicating scent and it was sending him over the moon as he played with your wet and sensitive clit.

“Good girl” he praised, when you pushed your ass further into his boner, craving to feel it bare.

You hummed, his thin and long fingers dancing to the tune of your arousal. He fingered you slowly and deliberately, and it was excruciating. 

It was the last time he was going to get to feel you. Tomorrow you'd be gone. It made him angry and sad. It made him desperate. 

You could feel his aggression in the way his lips collided onto yours with force, the way his nails dug into your skin, the way his body was stiff and wrapped around you in a solid cage.

His hold on you tightened and he spun you around again, to face him. He wanted to make sure you never forgot how he made you feel; so that no other man would ever be enough for you because he set that bar up so high. He wanted to spoil the idea of being pleased again by anyone else, for you. Maybe it was toxic to think that way, but he was already letting go of you.

He had no choice but to let go of you. The train of thought he'd gotten on made his brain short circuit and switch off. He wasn't aroused anymore and everything was blurry and confusing. Before he could stop himself, he took a step back.

“Don't leave me, noona.” He said in a small voice, looking at the floor.

The words crash on you like a violent wave. 

You wished he'd stayed looking at the tiles, because when he looked up, you felt the guilt of having accidentally run over a puppy. There was sadness and shame and anger and you didn't know which emotion to address first.

“Yugs….”

So many words swirled in your brain but your lips were sewn shut.

“So, I guess that's a no.”

“What are you trying to do, Yugyeom?”

“Oh well, It was worth a try.” He chuckled, rather bitterly.

What else was he expecting would happen.

Life is not a movie scene; the girl doesn't quit on her career for the boy, in real life. But was it valid for him to feel the sting that persistently worsened as you two stood opposite each other uncomfortably? He knew this was going to happen. He chose it with you. Hell, he chose it for you even. While he was trying to rationalise his own resentments, you straightened yourself up and started putting the buttons of your shirt back in place. 

“I don't know what you want to hear from me, Yugs. You know I don't want to leave you. And you don't want to come with me.”

Shit, that stung him even more.

“I have to leave for the airport in 12 hours so do we have to be like this?” You asked defeatedly. 

He shook his head and you extended your arms, waiting for him to fall into them.

“I'm really sorry we have to end this way.”

In his experience, there was no safer feeling than being held by you, but right now it was the root cause of all the knives ruthlessly jammed in his chest.

Nonetheless, he hugged you and exhaled pure agony.

“I'm gonna go take a shower. Maybe afterwards, if you feel like it, we can go get some drinks?” You asked cautiously.

“Yeah… I’d like that” he lied, as he let go. Truth be told, he couldn't look past the multiple ‘last times’ anymore. The last time he could hug you, the last time he could fuck you, the last time he could hear your voice… he couldn't do any of it. He didn't want to do any of it. He didn't want this for the last time. He heard you close the door to the bathroom and started fixing his appearance however he could, grabbed his wallet and phone and headed out. If he stayed in that house for a second more he felt he'd choke and die. He was trying to run away from the toxic fumes his own thoughts were emitting, and there was nowhere to hide from them, so he tried to leave them behind. 

His brisk walk turned into a sprint and then he ran as fast as he could towards the subway station. And just like that he vanished into the sea of anonymity, nowhere to be found.

Four hours had gone by since you'd come out of your shower to a deserted house and a singular message from Yugyeom. “Sorry noona, I can't do this.”

it felt like a cruel déjà vu.

His phone wasn't reachable. Bambam had no idea, neither did Jaebeom. You were much too confused to react in any appropriate manner.

“He left” You said to Jaebeom, who was equally confused and infuriated.

It seemed like you'd already connected the dots as to Yugyeom’s unavailability but a part of you was holding onto some hope.

“I'm sure he's gonna show up dude.”

“I have to leave in like 3 more hours. He wouldn't have left if he planned to show up.”

“He's definitely not at Bam’s?”

“Jae…. unless I was being lied to, he's not there. And i don't think Bam has any reason to do that.”

“Okay. Keep me posted.”

“Yeah” you sighed. 

You were neither angry, nor sad and you had good reason to experience both those emotions at once, but the way your brain had switched itself to autopilot, everything had just become a matter of necessity. 

You tried Yugyeom’s number once again, and weren't even surprised anymore when you heard the automated switched off message. 

While scanning the room your eyes fell upon your suitcases and your heart dropped 6 feet further than where it was already at.

You had to leave soon.

The silence had already been gnawing at your sanity, now it was overpowering guilt because if you had just said no, none of this would have happened. If you had just said no to the promotion. If you had tried harder for Seoul. If you had chosen to stay when Yugyeom asked you to, then the chain of events would have been different. Maybe, if he'd not run away from this whole situation you could have figured out a solution. But he wasn't here and you were running out of time.

A high pitched buzzer cut through the atmosphere, giving you a jump scare. For a second you thought maybe it was Yugyeom, but why would he need to ring the bell.

You saw Jackson's silhouette in the little alarm system by the door and sighed. 

“You look so unhappy to see me.” He huffed, when you greeted him dryly.

“Gee Jackson, sorry I'm upset about Yugyeom literally bailing on me when I have to leave in an hour.”

“Wait what? He's not back?” 

“No…..i don't know where he is.”

“And he's still not answering?”

“I tried about 50 times, it's off. Anyway, how come you're here?” 

It was comical how distraught you were internally and how inept you were at translating your emotions externally. The way you were talking, no one would think you were in this sad sad situation of leaving your life behind to start a new one.

“You don't remember asking me to drop you off?”

“Was I drunk?”

“Well…. tipsy maybe?”

“I was definitely drunk. I don't remember any of it. But, I'm glad you're here.”

“Are you…. packed?”

“Yeah, I just got the last batch of clothes I need to shove in.”

“Cool. You have anything to eat?”

“I made some sandwiches in the evening. Have at it.”

You were trying your best to be normal. A few minutes later Bambam and Jaebeom arrived as well, both without any worthwhile news of Yugyeom.

“I'm gonna kill him when I see him.” Jaebeom raged.”this is very childish.”

“It's fine man…. i know why he just vanished. It's okay. I'm not mad.” 

“Bro are you…. Hearing yourself?”

“Very clearly. He was never good with confrontational emotions. He didn't want to see me leave so he left. It's not rocket science.” 

“You went through your stages of grief really fast with this one.” 

“I didn't have an option.” you looked at the three of them sitting around you “So…. are all of you taking me to the airport?”

“Yeah, duh.” Bambam countered.

“Okay then wait for me in the car, I need to say bye to the house.”

“And you can't do that in front of us?” 

“Would you rather get uncomfortable watching me cry?”

Honestly, you were just prolonging it, the actual act of leaving. You felt so heavy when Jaebeom rolled your suitcases out. In passing you looked at your two favourite hoodies you'd left on the bed and it took everything out of you to not have an emotional breakdown right at that moment.

It was difficult, leaving was difficult especially without Yugyeom. You were in denial of your feelings but you were so angry at him but also so sorry towards him, your emotions kept cancelling each other out. You just wanted to hug him one last time and get the closure you were hoping to get but he took that option away from you. In your three year relationship, this was maybe the most cruel he’d ever been with you. But it was over now. This chapter was done, even with all of its loose ends.

You took your time saying your final byes to three of the most important people you'd met in Seoul. It was quite impressive that you didn't burst out in tears, even when Bam and Jae almost did. There was a part of you that was distracted by a hope that he'd be at the airport to see you off. When he wasn't at the main gates, you hoped he'd be there at check-in. While walking towards your departure gate you kept an eye out, hoping to catch a glimpse of his smile. You just wanted to say goodbye. But he never came. You sat glued to your spot, because what if he did try to find you and you weren't there. You boarded your flight at the very end. You gave an imaginary him all the imaginary chances you could, to materialise and tie a neat ribbon around your life in Seoul.

But your flight took off and the last shred of hope you had snapped and so did you.

Because life isn't a movie. Just like the girl doesn't leave her career, the boy doesn't run through the airport either. 

[atopearth]

Final Fantasy VII Remake Part 1 - Avalanche, Flower Girl & Childhood Friend (CH 1-8)

The long awaited remake!! Jessie is sooo pretty btw, I love it! I’ve always liked Jessie since the original because of how nice she was to Cloud, so it’s nice to see that they put so much effort into her looks. Biggs looks pretty cool too, but he’s such a silly guy haha. Most of the first chapter was pretty much like the demo so nothing much to say about it besides that I like the Japanese dub much more than the English haha. Btw, I’m playing on normal mode~ Barret is so aggressive and a bit annoying now that you can hear him though LOL. I have to say though, the camera is soo annoying in this game lol, it frustrates me so much. And the boss in the reactor has so much life, it was a tiring battle lol. Otherwise, great nostalgia! I still remember so well in the original when Jessie gets her leg stuck and you have to free her~ In the original, you kinda had to go to her to yourself, whereas in this remake, they force you into the scene of freeing her which is good!! Because lmao, I legit didn’t realise she was stuck in the original game and totally ignored her and went back up the elevator, and what happened?! I was stuck and couldn’t get out of the reactor without her, and I couldn’t go back to save her because it didn’t let me backtrack!! So yes, nice memories, I felt so bad though, I legit left her there to die LOL. Anyway, despite Heidegger and them contributing to the destruction of the sector, it is true that it was because of Avalanche’s actions that made all these people die or get injured, since Heidegger probably wants to pin on them how much of a terrorist they are to the masses.

Sephiroth appearing is so awkward btw, but I think what irks me is that the menacing part of him isn’t shown very well. Doesn’t help that Those Chosen By the Planet (what I think to be Sephiroth’s theme) doesn’t have the same threatening feel to it imo. Aww I felt like the train scene with Barret shooing off the Shinra people was done more seriously than the original, and I feel like it also shows how rash and sometimes naive the Avalanche group is. I felt like the scene was funnier in the original because Barret was being aggressive and scared them away lol. Anyway, not sure what those things flying around Aerith are (dementorssss!), but nice flower lol. I found it sooo cuteee how Cloud so naturally gave the flower to Tifa though, like dang, my heart swooned! Tifa is so beautiful btw~ Interesting that she rented a room for Cloud, guess it was unnecessary in the original since you’re running around everywhere already, whereas in the remake, Cloud is going to be earning money joining the neighbourhood watch (killing monsters) and doing odd jobs haha. Honestly though, seeing Barret dote on Marlene was so sweet, I always found it heartwarming how much he loved and cherished her. Lmao when she ran away from Cloud since he was a “stranger” lol. Nice to see all these different materia though, looks like it’ll be fun to try them!

Okay, the side quests were pretty useless but I guess it helped to gain experience and get me used to the combat system a bit more. Honestly though, playing as Tifa is much more fun than Cloud haha. Doesn’t help that Tifa is such a cute beauty~ Am I the only weirdo taking non-stop screenshots of her because she looks so good in every angle? LOL. When Tifa asked what kind of clothing suits her best, I wasn’t really sure, but I guess I would like to see something mature haha. I can see why Tifa would have doubts about what Avalanche is doing though. I mean, sure she agrees with their ideals and goals, but the way they’re doing it isn’t exactly the “best” way to do it since it involves a lot of casualties. So, I’m kinda glad that Cloud kinda advised her in his own way that she should really follow her heart and to not do it if she isn’t able to. Oh and that darts game at Seventh Heaven? Yeah, I sucked at it LOL. Anyway! Jessie feeling bad about the bomb she made causing such unprecedented destruction on the city is understandable, so going to grab a weaker reagent is something she’d do. Nice that she got Cloud to come along with her, but it was also pretty cute that Biggs and Wedge kinda knew what she was up to. Didn’t think about the idea of the Avalanche members having families, so knowing that Jessie seems to have a warm family that would turn on the light every night waiting for her to come home is kinda sweet yet saddening. On the other hand, that motorcycle chase lmao, I was so terrible at it, I legit nearly died hahaaha. Roche was a crazy guy man, it felt so difficult to catch up to him and deal some damage lol. Like how does he do all these crazy stuff with the motorcycle?! Honestly, it makes me think of a motorcycle version of SSX (that snowboarding game where you do tricks) because, I’m surprised he and his bike are intact lol.  Although, in a sense, it did seem easier than the original game though, I mean, I used to legit miss the targets reallyyyyyy badly in the original hahahah. But yeah, it was nice to have that mini game I guess, I just didn’t expect it right now lol. BUT, the highlight of the motorcycle chase here was definitely Jessie hugging Cloud from behind on the motorcycle and feeling so comfortable and safe with him around. I honestly felt it, but then again, who wouldn’t feel safe with Cloud?! He’s so reliable and cool!

Honestly, I never would have thought Jessie would be an actress at the Gold Saucer! That’s an interesting back story. Kinda saddening though, that when she finally got a starring role, her dad collapsed in a Mako storage (since he was a maintenance supervisor for Shinra) for half a day and got Mako poisoning, so now he’s in a comatose state. I guess it’s understandable how one thing led to another for Jessie to join Avalanche, but I feel devastated for the mother. It’s a tough life but there’s still the hope and happiness of seeing Jessie return home when she can, but…that’s not going to happen forever.. Well, well, that diversion Cloud had to do alongside Biggs and Wedge was not fun! But it was cool to see Ifrit haha. Honestly think the highlight was seeing Cloud warm up to Biggs and Wedge after this little mission, not only did he get to see that Wedge is willing to put his life on the line for Cloud even though they just hired him for these missions, he also got to see how passionate they are about their reasons for being in Avalanche. They really should count themselves lucky that another sub group of Avalanche was there to bail them out though! Anyway, Cloud smiling was so cute. Lmao when Wedge called Cloud “aniki” after the mission hahahah, it’s so adorable. I love how Cloud tells Wedge not to call him that every time he does it hahaha. And it was so cuteee when Cloud quietly said he hopes Jessie’s dad will get better soon, he cares!! It’s so sweet! 

Oh, btw LOL at the random grandma that noticed all the commotion from Cloud/Avalanche and thought it was Wutai attacking Shinra again, so she said she’d join in since she used to fight against them when she was young loll, chill grandma!! It’s quite cute how Biggs and Wedge can tell that Jessie is interested in Cloud, so sweet how they look out for Cloud instead and say she’s not serious though hahaha. Omggg, Jessie giving him a hug as extra payment for helping out on the mission was so cuteeee, I love her. She’s so forward and honest, but so cuteee. I loved how she said she’d make pizza for him. Biggs overthinking was really adorable, but Cloud telling him to prioritise resting up for tomorrow was nice to see. He has such a soft spot for them all now, it’s so heartwarming. It was so considerate and kind of Cloud to offer to listen to Tifa’s worries, I loved how casually he said it.

No idea what those spectres are, but OMG!! CLOUD PRINCESS CARRYING JESSIE?! Yes, my heart squealed🥺🥺🥺 That Shinra Middle Manager guy on the train is so passionate and loyal to them, it’s pretty admirable tbh. He’s obviously scared of Barret but he’s unafraid to voice his opinions and views to him, Shinra sure has passionate workers. I loved the jumping out of the train part!! Cloud held Tifa close and protected her🥰 On the other hand, I really didn’t need the corny part where the Shinra Middle Manager was shocked that Barret and them would protect the others on the train though, I think if we just see him being impressed and kinda acknowledging them, it would have been fine lol. Anyway, is it just me or are the normal monsters harder than the bosses?! Like seriously lol! Or maybe I’m just too reckless tbh because I legit just roll around and attack hahahah. Yes, that’s how I roll. Oh btw, I forgot to say, but I’m kinda sad that we never got to go downstairs at Seventh Heaven!! That’s like my favourite part! I loved the interactions between everyone at Avalanche there, oh well I guess… We kinda got the interactions through Jessie’s story instead I guess.

Going through Sector 5 was legit tedious lol, but it was cool to see holograms of the President and Heidegger, and the boss!! I’m not sure if I really weakened the boss by taking away the right stuff, but I just kinda took all the big bombs and some programming cores and it was relatively easy. Btw cowboy Tifa is adorableee! Aerith and Cloud reuniting at the church and squashing his flowers wasn’t as magical as it felt in the original imo (even though it was HD T_T). And I also feel like Aerith was more cooler in the original in my memory haha. Reno definitely looks better as a bunch of pixels than in HD LOL, I’m sorry Reno, you’re my favourite boy ever in FFVII but I hate his close up look here hahaha. Although I think it’s mainly because his open shirt look is very...ugly LOL. Make him cool not tacky! The Turks theme wasn’t as clicky sounding(?) as well so I think it kinda lost how cool the soundtrack was imo, but oh well~ And dang, I legit found the battle so difficult with him hahahah, I probably should have used more magic etc to deal with him but far out, his lightning attacks lol. I’m kinda sad they kicked out rolling the barrels to save Aerith from the Shinra soldiers though, I used to just let Aerith fight them, and I think it would have been cool if they let Aerith fight them, since it kinda showed that even though Aerith is physically weak, she’s still got a lot of guts and resolve to fight against people stronger than her imo. Instead, we get that stupid chandelier thing and the hand bars that had superrr clunky controls, it wasn’t fun at all! 

Cloud and Aerith talking and bonding throughout their little trip on the rooftops to escape was cute, I love how she answered that the Turks might have been after her because she would be a great SOLDIER candidate (since the work Turks does includes scouting for SOLDIER) hahaha. The princess carry Cloud did to catch Aerith when she fell was cute, but it was done so purposefully that I couldn’t like it as much as I wanted, Jessie’s one was much more natural and sweet. But it’s Aerith so I’ll take it, because dang is it beautiful~~ I wish they showed how Aerith was trying really hard to catch up to Cloud and was like out of breath by the time they got to the sector lol, I found that cute in the original. Anyway, I also miss Aerith using her staff to smack monsters, the sound was so iconic lmao. I guess it’s understandable that they changed her skillset to be shooting magic out of her staff but still🥺 Rude on the other hand looks pretty cool! I wonder if they’ll mention how he likes Tifa and they’ll add it into the battles so that he won’t attack her hahaha. Oh yeah, forgot to mention it, but did Cloud see Aerith die in those visions he had? Not sure if I’m into how it’s all going right now, but hmm kinda weird.

Elmyra doesn’t look as gentle as she did in the original, kinda sad~~ But I still think it’s hilarious how pushy Aerith is and how much she does things at her own pace lol. I hope we get to do the tiptoe thing at night like in the original where Cloud tries to run off in the middle of the night when she forces him to stay at her house for the night haahha. Shiva was pretty easy! I’m proud of myself hehe! Legit just Fira her to death until I could summon etc hahaha. Not sure how I feel about that intern being able to make summon materia though, I always felt like summons were spirits of nature that you kinda make a contract with, so artificially creating them feels weird. I honestly feel like more effort was put into Tifa than Aerith when it comes to the expressions and their faces imo. I always imagined Aerith to look very energetic, happy and kind, but in a lot of the scenes, her face looks very stern and you can’t see the kindness in her eyes, whereas with Tifa, there’s lots of details in every expression she makes. Sigh, it’s pretty saddening since Aerith is my favourite girl… Btw lmao at the Leaf House drawings of the cactuar, tonberry, chocobo and moogle hahaha, so cute but ugly lmaoo. Hahahaha there’s such a thing as fat Chocobo candy🤣🤣🤣 Moggie is weirdddd looking lol, did not expect that. Whack-a-box was a pretty boring game tbh, Gunners Gauntlet in FFX-2 is way better imo. Maybe there might be more stages later? I do appreciate how easy it was to get 30,000 points though haha, I’m still salty over the jump rope in FFIX lmao, no way could I ever do more than 50 of those jumps hahaha. Okay, don’t judge me, but I farmed moogle medals with the game by leaving it on while I played other games on my phone lmao. Man, those side quests were difficult to do with Aerith, I really hate her skillset right now lolll. I guess that’s normal though? Since, in the original, I found this part really difficult at times because she was so weak lmaoo. The fight with Rude was much easier than with Reno though! Maybe it’s because Aerith was there just to heal me hahaha. Anyway, I really like how careful and protective Rude and Reno are with Aerith. I feel like you can feel that a lot of it is related to their work as the Turks, but at the same time, they honestly feel that Aerith should take care of herself better by not running around so much lol. Btw lmao at Cloud carrying that flower basket hahaha. When Aerith was talking to the flowers and saying that they don’t respond to her no matter how much she talks to them, I found it really cute that before they left, Cloud asked to the flowers to respond to her some time since she’s so sincere haha. Cloud is such a big softie, it’s adorable. Just saying, but Aerith running up the stairs to clean the guest room for Cloud was so cute, I’m dying. Cloud’s mum looks pretty! Lmao, the tiptoeing out of the house is actually hilarious. I just took one step and hit a bucket and it made the loudest noise ever hahahaah, of course Aerith could hear! Lmao, I failed twice and they removed the buckets so you don’t need to dodge anything hahahha. I’m sorry I suck okay?! Although I always found it hilarious in the original that you can actually see Aerith jump out of bed and run super fast to push you back into your room hahaha.  I’ve always loved how Aerith pops out and surprises Cloud that she noticed him leaving without her. Does Cloud’s tears mean subconsciously he remembers her death? Is this FFVII 2.0? A sequel? Are we reliving FFVII alternate universe so we can save Aerith this time?

Overall, the remake has been relatively fun so far. The camera is rather clunky at times but it’s okay I guess. The story is pretty linear and won’t let me walk around and explore unless it wants me to though, I swear that warning sign is so obnoxious I want to punch it! So yeah, it can be rather frustrating when I’m looking for treasure chests, like I’m constantly being called out for going to the wrong way hahaha. Let me live my life, guys! Everything looks great and I really enjoyed the extra bits with Jessie tbh, I think that was my highlight for these 8 chapters haha. I hope everything will continue to be as beautiful and interesting. I’m not a fan of the soundtrack though, it feels a little too electric? Techno? I don’t know how to describe it but it feels weird haha. Also weird to see/hear different theme songs and stuff at vending machines, because it just..doesn’t suit the atmosphere lol, anyway I’m just picky, it’s still cool. I really like Jessie’s Theme though!

But yeah, I really loved that the remake added the part where they go to back to Jessie’s home etc. I found it really sweet and comforting to see that Jessie had a family, and that Biggs and Wedge got along with her mother so well. I think the extra bonding and interactions between Avalanche and Cloud will really make the lost of them that more painful and dramatic. I think some people think Jessie seems too “thirsty”, but I think she’s great because of how forward she is, and how subtle but also honest she is about her feelings. She’s never completely direct about it, but she’s obviously attracted to Cloud and I think it’s really cute, mainly because she can see how cold he may be on the surface, but also how soft he is on the inside. I think my favourite moment with her was when she hugged Cloud on the motorbike so comfortably, it honestly felt like (from her perspective) that she found someone she could really rely on and believe in when she’s in trouble and I thought that was really heartwarming. Otherwise, wow, the shipping with Cloud and the girls is SO STRONG, I’m starting to think it’s a visual novel where I can pick the girl I like lmao. Honestly though, you can tell how much it’s catering to older fans who love the girls. The fanservice is blatant! But it makes for great screenshots so yay~! But seriously, the dementors and Sephiroth appear too much, it’s frustrating, especially the ghosts/spectres.

[etherealwaifgoddess]

What He Wants (Pt. 15)

Main Characters: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced Reader

Summary:  On going series of Bucky getting his shit together and falling in love with you.

Warnings/ Content: none, angst if you squint

Word Count: 1194

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! Who else got Endgame today now that it’s out on bluray/dvd?! I have it ready to start once this post is up and I’m so excited to see it again!!  But enough of that... This installment is a game changer. And the very end had me squeeing while writing it. I hope you all squee along too! Also, thanks for all the love this story has been getting so far. I’m eternally grateful for all the likes, reblogs, and comments. Seriously, I love ya’ll <3 

If you missed the first few parts, you can read them here: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

XOXO -Ash

What He Wants, Pt. 15

By noon you have run out of chores to keep yourself busy and you finally join Bucky who is reading a new book in the living room. You had just called the therapy center you work at and let them know you would be available to start the following week. You want to give Bucky a chance to settle into your world before you dive back into work. 

“So… I go back to work next week.” You tell him as you take a seat on the other end of the sofa. 

Bucky looks up from his book, a look of surprise on his face. “Okay, mouse. I’ll be fine here when you’re out.” 

“Actually, I was thinking you could come with me.”

“To the therapy center? I still don’t know about that. You forget that millions of people still want me locked up for life or worse. I don’t want to go in there and make it harder for people who are already having a rough go of it.”

“Who says anyone will even recognize you?” 

Bucky waves his metal arm at you and points to the red star on the upper part of it. “Even if they didn’t recognize my face the arm is kinda obvious. There’s a reason most of my wardrobe is long sleeves.” 

“Okay, I’ll give you that. But I want you to think about the dozens of returning war vets we see every week. The guys who could really use someone to talk to who knows what it’s like to be in the military and in combat. We get the occasional ex-cult members too. Girls who have been brainwashed for years and just want to get their lives back. I’m not asking you to go in and start telling these people your life story, I’m just asking you to go be available to listen to them if they want to talk. Not as a therapist but as someone who gets what they’re going through.” 

“How would that even work though? And don’t you want someone who has their shit together a little bit better to be interacting with these people?”

“You do have your shit together or you wouldn’t be sitting here with me. Stop downplaying your progress because you’re not where you want to be. And it works with the staff we have so far. We have two domestic abuse survivors, one former Air Force private, and a girl who grew up in the system. It’s just an option for our patients to hang out a little and talk to someone who understands them. The people who do, end up having much more successful therapy sessions later on.”

“I just don’t know…” 

“Well, you have ‘til 7:30 on Monday to decide but I think it’ll be good for you. And the center.”

“Good for me? Sorry mouse, I’m not gonna just start going to therapy because I’m there all day.”

“I’m not asking you to. I meant that it’ll give you something to do. Something productive and rewarding. It’s part of how I cope with the more difficult missions. I help people and it makes me feel like less of a monster for doing what needs done sometimes.” 

 Bucky looks like he’s on the verge of screaming or crying, intensely frustrated but trying to keep himself under control. “There is no atoning for everything I’ve done though. How can you not see that?”

“Because you don’t know that. You can only do your best and try. So what do you want to do?” You are pushing harder on this than you meant to but you’re on a roll, “You can hide out here reading books, keeping away from the world, waiting for me to come home every night. Or you can actually live, and come along with me, and make a real, positive difference in people's lives. What do you want Bucky?” 

Bucky makes an exasperated noise in his throat. “I want a lot of things, none of which I can have.” 

“Like what?”

“Too many things.” 

You move across the sofa so you’re kneeling next to him, hovering just the slightest bit over him, making sure he understands you’re not backing down on this. “That’s not an answer.” 

His eyes are blazing when he lifts his head to stare you down. You want to run, to apologize for pushing too hard too soon, but something keeps you in place just a beat longer. “What are you so afraid of wanting, Bucky?” You place your hand on the bicep of his metal arm, trying to keep him from bolting. 

But he can’t run. Your touch, and the genuine concern in your voice are his undoing. A tortured sound breaks free from his chest and the super soldier seems to collapse in on himself. He pulls at his hair, scrubs his hands over his face futilely, unable to handle all the emotions bubbling up. “I want what Steve got.” He whispers. 

His words echo painfully in your chest, I want what Steve got. You school your reaction and  let him process the emotions coming up in his own time.

This is the first time Bucky really lets himself admit it, that he wants something for himself. The tears come and he wishes he could hold them back but in the moment he can’t. The loss of his freedom back in the war, losing his arm, the wipes and time on ice, the brainwashing, the torture, the constant gnawing feeling of being hated for what feels like good reasons. It all comes crashing down until he can’t breathe anymore. The loss of Steve is still so fresh and it makes it harder to keep his emotions in their tidy, neglected box. 

Your heart breaks when his tears start falling. You just wanted to get him to make a decision for his life instead of staying stagnant from fear and self loathing. You know there is nothing you can do but be there for him while he shatters so you throw your arms around him and wait. After several painfully quiet minutes Bucky’s sobs subside and he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you impossibly close to him. You can feel the wetness through your night shirt, his tears not yet stopped, so you started running a hand through his hair soothingly. Eventually he looks up at you with questioning eyes, searching you for any trace of disgust or pity and still he finds none. You brush a long lock of brown hair out of his eyes and give him a half smile, glad he is calming down a little more. 

Bucky holds you tightly, still not willing to let you go. “I know what I want, mouse.” His voice is low and raw.

“What is it?” You ask quietly.

“I want… God knows I don’t deserve it but… I want you.” 

Your heart is hammering in your chest like it had grown wings. It’s hard to form words as your mind swims with reasons to pull back and even more reasons to give in. “I’m yours.” You tell him before your brain can catch up with your heart.

Tag List Lovelies: @my-current-fandom-is @blacklightguidesnic @amazonianbeauty @ladyemofhousestark @abswritesfandoms @rupestria 

[toocool2btrue]

Rare Moments

Lance always took pride at his girlfriend's intellect. For him, she was the most smartest person in the universe and not just humans but a lot species agreed with him.

Unfortunately there was a time, that seemed more like a problem. They had started dating shortly before returning to earth and even before they had started dating, the pair of them had made several plans that they would implement upon after returning.

Unfortunately like always, life doesn't go as expected with a dangerous threat hanging over their lives. The paladins found themself busier than ever, a part of him missed the free time they used to have in space.

It was no surprise, that Pidge had become one of the busiest paladin. Her schedule had become overpacked, hardly leaving time for her to rest even.

But despite the tough schedule, Lance saw the joyful glint in her eyes, her smile could outmatch all the stars in the galaxy.

He didn't want to discourage her so he said nothing. So he kept quiet even though their time spent together became shorter and shorter.

One day as he got out of the training room, he was greeted with a pleasant surprise.

His favourite person was waiting for him.

"Pidge!" he greeted in delight, quickly pulling her into a hug.

"What are you doing here?, I thought you were busy today" he asked.

"A problem came up with the system. They are trying to fix it, so I decided to check up on my wonderful boyfriend" she teased.

He was kinda surprised that his girlfriend wasn't the one leading the operation.. not that he was complaining.

"So is the offer for lunch still up?" she asked slyly.

Lance grinned, taking her pale hand into his tanned one.

"Of course it is" he softly stated, kissing the top of her head.

Lance narrated his week's events, which mostly consisted of training or spending time with his family.

In turn, Pidge gave her usual snarky comments, which he secretly adored though he pretended to be annoyed.

"You should be worried my dear Pigeon" He warned.

"And why is that?" she inquired.

"I have been practicing and this time you don't stand a chance against me in Killbot Phantasm" he declared proudly.

"We can play right now and I will still beat you" she threatened with a confident smirk.

A small hope lit in his heart, he had been dying for a gaming night.

"Can we?" he asked hopefully.

Pidge shifted in her seat, her eyes fixed on her food tray.

"Depends on how long it will take to fix the system" she replied in a small voice.

"Oh" he mumbled, trying to hide his disappointment.

Uncomfortable silence hung in the air, as they quietly ate their lunch.

Pidge cautiously eyed her boyfriend who resembled a kicked puppy.

"Lance.." she started, he reluctantly looked up from his tray to meet her eyes.

"Holt!!" A stern voice called making the pair of them jump.

Iverson stood at the doorway of the cafeteria, there was a glare gracing his face.

What is he so mad about?

Lance wondered.

"Sir!" they greeted as he made his way towards their table.

"Holt, your brother has solved the 'problem'. Get back to work" he ordered marching off.

"That reminds me of our old cadet days" Lance joked, turning back to Pidge. She gave him a concerned look, biting her lower lip as Lance felt pang of guilt in his heart.

"Go, show them how it's done" he encouraged, affectionately ruffling her hair which earned him a grateful smile from her.

"I will try to see you soon" she nodded, pressing a quick kiss on his cheek before running off.

_______________________________

As Allura ended her meeting, her eyes fell on the red paladin. He had hardly spoken at all, instead he stared at the table with a distant look in his eyes.

Allura waited patiently as the Garrison officers started to leave, She signaled Keith and Hunk to stay.

Red paladin finally stood up to take his leave as well, he managed to his friends a weak smirk along with his signature finger guns.

"Going to see Pidge?" Allura asked with an encouraging smile.

Lance shook his head with a sad smile, "She is busy today. I am going to have lunch with Ronnie"

The others nodded and Lance took his leave.

Allura resumed her original seat, "I have never seen him so unhappy" she confessed.

"Lance is like an open book sometimes. Even if he tries to hide it, it's eventually written all over his face" Hunk informed and the rest of the two silently agreed.

"He has been occupying himself a lot with training and helping the refugees"

"But man it's hard to catch a break these days, trying to modify human technology according to the advanced civilizations. Pidge and I have gone crazy" Hunk added.

"She is also helping Sam and Shiro with their operation. I am pretty sure that the meetings are the only time Keith and I see her" Allura stated worriedly.

"Bu

Keith sighed, "I ran into Pidge and Shiro in the morning. They both looked like they would fall apart any minute. The Garrison shouldn't be so hard on them!" he gritted his teeth in anger.

Allura squeezed his shoulder in comfort, "That is the price of war we have to pay" she softly stated.

"What's with the long face?" Veronica sternly asked, her blue eyes glared at him from behind her glasses.

"I don't know what your talking about?" he challenged turning back to his food.

"Looked inthe mirror recently?, You look like a grumpy old man"

Lance simply rolled his eyes at the comment, "I am just stressed out. After all there is a death threat hanging on our heads" he snapped.

Veronica's eyes widened in concern as she opted for a more softer way, "I understand that there is a chance we might not survive but acting this way is not the solution. We should be optimistic and try to spend as much time with our loved ones as possible"

"Unfortunately that is not really possible in my case" Lance grumbled.

"A-ha!" her blue eyes glinted mischeviously.

"I should have known it was something to do with the green paladin who has my little brother wrapped around her finger" she teased.

"Is everything alright between the two of you?" Veronica asked.

"Yeah, it's just that I haven't been able to spend time with her since we got back to earth and I really miss her.. I know it's selfish of me to think that way but I can't help with that!" he vented.

"Talk to her" Veronica simply stated.

"But she's busy" he objected.

Veronica rolled her eyes, it was time to give some older sister wisdom.

"From all I know, you two are crazy about eachother. You don't think she misses you as well?" She questioned.

"Now go and call her" she ordered.

______________________

Lance paced in his room, glaring at the phone in his hand. He couldn't believe the last time he had called her was two weeks ago but Ronnie was right, he needed to talk to her.

Communication is the key for a good relationship, right?

Finally he pressed the call option, he held his breath eager to hear the voice at the other end.

But no one answered..

He could feel the dreaded disappointed spreading in his heart. Without another thought, he threw his phone on the floor which mercifully landed on a pile of clothes.

He grabbed his jacket deciding that he needed to go on a long walk.

The weather beautifully mirrored his mood, the sky was covered with dark clouds and there was the occasional thundering.

It was no surprise to him, when water drops started falling on his face. His anger partly cooled as he remembered that it was the first time he was experiencing rain after coming back to earth.

He outstretched his palm, catching rain droplets in his hand. The wind had picked up it's might and blowed powerfully, beating against him.

Lance grinned, pushing his windswept hair back. Any sane person , would have returned home but he simply tugged his hoodie on his head and moved forward.

____________________________

The next morning Keith eyed his fellow paladin questionably as he stumbled.

"Everything alright?" Keith asked, Lance simply gave him a thumbs up and got back into position again.

Keith charged again, Lance deflected the first attack easily but was knocked off his feet at the second one.

"Why don't we take a break?" Keith suggested, Lance simply nodded dropping his bow staff.

He pinched his nose, trying to ignore his pounding headache, stretching his stiff muscles. He took a seat onthe floor taking a big gulp of water , he could feel Keith stare from the otherside of the room.

"What?" he asked wearily.

"Your sloppy today" Keith stated.

"Oh great leader forgive me" he teased.

Keith however looked unamused, "We were really making progress with your close combat skills but today you seem uncoordinated . Are you feeling ok?" he brought his hand forward in concern.

"I am fine" he weakly answered, as he staggered on his feet and grabbed his staff.

"You charge" Keith ordered, getting into a defensive position.

Lance closed his eyes trying his best to focus but the headache seem to be taking over his senses. He ignored his body's demand for rest as he moved forward, ready to attack.

Lance let out a cry charging towards with all the force he could muster, unfortunately his conscious finally gave in and the last thing he heard was Keith yelling his name before being engulfed by darkness.

_______________________

As the early morning light of the next day crept through the curtains.

A certain person groaned in his sleep, Lance finally regained conscious though his eyes only partly open. He tried to recall the hazy memories of the previous day and managed to remember that he was ill.

The headache was still present although now bearable, he could still feel the taste of the bitter medicine they had given him while he was half awake. He shifted slightly trying to get in a more comfortable position, every muscle in his body ached in response.

He tried to lift his left arm but was met with a strong tug. Curiously his eyes opened a bit wider to see a small pale hand holding onto his wrist with a tight grasp.

The tiredness suddenly vanished, as he sat straight in surprise. His expression immediately softened at the sight of Pidge in deep slumber, she was sleeping in a sitting position her back propped against her favourite green pillow which resided in his room.

He stifled a laugh seeing her glasses still resting over her closed eyes. He reached over and gently removed them not wanting to awake her.

After all a peaceful expression on her face was rare sight to see, sunlight gracefully showered on her giving her pale skin an angelic glow.

He simply sighed contently leaning closer to admire the beautiful sight.

Unfortunately the moment was short lived as Pidge slowly opened eyes and almost got a heart attack.

"Lance, what the hell!" She breathed, clutching her chest.

"Sorry" he chuckled, happiness blooming in his heart.

"How are you feeling now?" she asked, her eyes darkening in concern.

"Would you believe me? If I told you that the sight of your angelic face completely healed me" he teased, clasping her hands into his.

Pidge rolled her eyes in annoyance but smiled nonetheless.

"We need to get your eyes checked. Nothing is angelic about my face right now" she gestured to her exhausted appearance.

"Don't tell me you were up all night?" he asked.

"It's alright. Veronica was with me so I wasn't bored" she grinned mischeviously.

"So I heard you once tried to runaway from home with only a lunchbox and swimming trunks"

"I was just five. Cut me some slack" he pouted.

"Fine I will leave it..for now" she smirked.

Pidge glanced at her watch, "It's almost time for your medicine but you need to eat something first. Let me get something for you" she said getting up.

He nodded falling back into his comfortable bed, his eyes started growing heavier and he was about to fall asleep when suddenly Veronica arrived.

"Lance, finally your awake" she smiled.

"Hi Ronnie"

"You idiot!" she took a 180 degree turn and smacked him on the shoulder.

"Ow!" he groaned.

"Who told you to get drenched in the rain. Do you have any idea how worried we all were?"

"I am sorry" he mumbled rubbing his sore shoulder, the early guilt returned. He hadn't meant to get his family and friends worried at such a crucial time.

"It's alright." she waved off.

"Although.." she started her voice taking a softer tone. "Take care of her Lance. Your lucky to have her"

"I know" he replied, his heart filling with pride.

Just then the said person appeared balancing a tray of porridge and coffee while she lightly kicked the door open.

Veronica grinned, "I have to go attend a meeting now. I entrust this idiot in your care"

"You got it!" Pidge grinned, giving a mock salute.

Pidge took a seat beside Lance and handed him the bowl of porridge. He gave her a pleading look, sighing softly she took the bowl back.

"Don't get used to it" She teased, raising a spoon full of porridge to his mouth.

"Oh please you love this"

"I beg to differ" she said, raising another spoon full.

Lance simply rolled his eyes, his grin getting wider and wider. He hadn't felt this happy in a longtime.

But something heavier weighed in Pidge's heart.

"Lance.." she started, her eyes downcast.

"Hmm?"

"I am sorry" she mumbled.

"What?" he asked.

Pidge fidgeted, her eyes scanning the room.

"I haven't been fair to you. I know we planned alot of things for earth but we haven't been able to do any of those things much less even spend time together"

"Pidge..do you think I am mad at you for that?" he questioned softly.

She sighed stiffly.

"You might not be but still it wasn't as if you were happy with the arrangement" she added.

Lance chuckled, "Of course I wasn't happy I wasn't able to see my adorable girlfriend."

"But I know that the world needs you more than I do right now. So I didn't want to come in your way" he whispered the last part.

Pidge frowned at his statement, "You know who I need though?"

Lance quirked his eyebrow in curiousity.

"You. I need you" she stated firmly.

Blood rushed to his face and he doubted the heated cheeks had anything to do with his fever.

"Now Pidge. I thought I was the cheesy one in our relationship" he grinned.

"I am serious. My family, our friends and most importantly you help me stay grounded. The other night in the lab, I was overstressed and exhausted. A part of me felt like I was going crazy but then I saw your missed call. Believe it or not but it provided reassurance to me" she confessed.

"I tried calling you again but you weren't picking up and then I came by your room and you weren't there either. Then the next day you faint during training" her expression turns cold.

"You do love scaring the hell out of me!!" she raised her fist.

Lance weakly chuckled, "Now Honey. I can't be there for you, if you kill me"

Pidge lowered her fist, "Just don't do that again" she warned.

"Wouldn't even dream of it" he assured.

"Good" she declared pulling him into a tight hug.

A moment of unspoken words went between them. Pidge clung on to his neck tightly, He rubbed her back in comfort and when they finally pulled away, she gave him a small smile gesturing to her watch.

"It's time for your medicine. Then you should go back to sleep" she advised.

Lance shook his head stubbornly, "No way! I finally get to spend time with you and you want to go to sleep"

"How about we watch a movie?" she offered, picking up her trusty laptop.

Everyone in this world has a small world of their own, the one which gives them a reason to smile in the dark times. The world for which they would do anything to protect.

Even though they were in the middle of an intergalactic war and survival at times felt a far fetched dream.

Pidge still found hope at the sight of the person softly snoring beside her as she stroked his hair. Cherishing the rare moments they had..

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, Ep. 6 (Cont.)

Hibiki, having seen a horror upon horrors, immediately asks Tsubasa if she’s okay. Tsubasa points out she’s a hospital patient, why would you ask this question, you insensitive prick. Hibiki points to the following scene:

Now, you may be asking yourself. “How does a formerly comatose person who is now bedridden on an IV drip manage to do this much damage?” Simply put, Tsubasa has a very chaotic aura. She doesn’t even have to take stuff out of her room; the places she goes to just naturally wind up like this. It’s a metaphor for how much of an absolute mess this person is simply by existing.

“l-look i just- its hard to organize things and- im more of a visual person and-”

“BITCH YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?”

Hibiki unwittingly gets her revenge on Tsubasa. She doesn’t realize it, but her lecturing Tsubasa on what an absolute mess every facet of her life is could possibly be heralded as her lowest point in the entire series.

No, wait. Thinking about it now, this is her second lowest. We won’t see her lowest until GX comes along.

“hibiki, every single bone in my body is broken, you dont have to break my pride too”

Hibiki, being an absolute darling, actually picks up Tsubasa’s mess. This is more than she can say about her own messes.

“haha, miku usually does this for me! wait- wait a minute.”

“i dont get it. i tried to kill you. i tormented and ignored you. i refused to help you for months. i failed to train you on any facet of combat as your senior. i nearly let you get kidnapped and, failing that, nearly killed myself while making you watch, which ALSO didnt help you not get kidnapped aside from scaring the shit out of that weird lady. why are you... helping me?”

“because either we’re going to be very good friends or im going to toss you out the window personally!”

“oh god, that aggression screams kanade. i cant not like her.”

Absolutely annihilated. Just kick her while she’s down in her Taco Bell spiral of humiliation and self-discovery, Hibiki.

“it’s okay, tsubasa! you may be a terminal dumbass, but im sure if we all work together, we can share our braincells and become collectively smarter, for each other!”

“interesting theory. how many ya got?”

“ZERO!”

They trade the kind of banter two people with 0 brain cells would have and then Tsubasa points out Hibiki is doing a great job in her place.

“hey hey HEY HOLD THE PHONE IVE LEARNED MY LESSON IM NOT TRYING TO REPLACE YOU OKAY IM NOT YOU, IM JUST HIBIKI, DOING HER JOB, ALRIGHT”

Meanwhile, in the library, Miku is looking at books, as she does what she says she’s gonna do, unlike a certain other person cavorting with cute idols.

“The Gay Way: How to Get Your Same Sex Relationship Back On Track, by Dr. Lesbe Honest. wow, this one is right up my alley.”

Okay, I’m gonna be honest with you. I literally forgot they show you the title in this. Imagine my face when I made up that title on the spot only to be hit with this little number. Holy shit, Symphogear. There’s this thing called subtlety. I’m begging you. We get it.

OH, AND IT GETS BETTER, BECAUSE

THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK IS THE WRITER OF THE SHOW

IT’S LITERALLY GOT HIS NAME ON IT

THIS IS THE EQUIVALENT OF WRITING A STORY AND THEN INSERTING A BOOK CALLED “LEARN THE PLOT” WRITTEN BY YOU, IN UNIVERSE

KANEKO STOP THIS BALONEY, PLEASE

AND LIKE FUCKING CLOCKWORK SHE JUST- SHE TURNS HER HEAD AWAY FROM THE BOOK TITLED “THIS IS THE PLOT MOTIF” BY “AUTHOR” AND THEN FUCKING

SHE CONVENIENTLY LOOKS OVER TO THE DISTANCE

AND SHE SEES HIBIKI WITH THE HOT IDOL MIKU WAS INTO, THAT THEY WERE BOTH A FAN ON, AND SHE’S JUST CHILLING THERE AND MIKU WAS TOLD HIBIKI’S ON SERIOUS BUSINESS

AND THE HOSPITAL QUARTERS ARE SOMEHOW CONVENIENTLY CONNECTED TO THE FUCKING LIBRARY ON FULL DISPLAY BECAUSE GOD KNOWS EVERYONE IN A LIBRARY HAS TO WATCH SICK PEOPLE DIE IN REAL TIME

AND NOW MIKU IS THINKING “OH MY FUCKING GOD IM BEING CHEATED ON” AND HER FEELINGS ARE HURT FOR THIS TOTALLY CONTRIVED FUCKING COINCIDENCE

AND SHE’S ALL “BOO HOO HOO I’VE BEEN NTR’D! THIS WAS A CUCKING PLOT THIS WHOLE TIME! WOE IS ME!” FUCK YOU. THIS IS THE WORST. THIS IS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE WHY WOULD YOU- WHY DO YOU EVEN NEED TO SET THIS UP? THERE’S SO MANY BETTER WAYS TO DO THIS!

AND SHE’S JUST STARING BACK AT THE BOOK WRITTEN BY THE SAME ASSHOLE WHO WROTE THIS ENTIRE DAMN SCENARIO IN THE FIRST PLACE, AN EVIL GOD MOCKING HIS SUBJECTS IN THE FACE OF SCRUTINY FOR DRAMA WITH THE MOST CLICHE LOVE NOTES IN A GODDAMNED SOAP OPERA

AND HIBIKI IS NONE

THE

FUCKING

WISER

SYMPHOGEAR SURE IS GREAT, HUH? I SURE DO LOVE SYMPHOGEAR WITH ALLLLLL MY HEART. WHAT A WELL WRITTEN MASTERPIECE! FUCKING BELONGS IN THE FUCKING MOMA!!!!!

Okay. Okay. Let’s get that out of our system. The worst is over. This is the, uh, crescendo of the bad side plot as it inevitably sets itself on the road to resolution. I’m not going to have an aneurysm. My brain is not going to split itself in half. We’re good. I swear, we’re good.

Tsubasa, meanwhile, wants to understand why Hibiki fights, wrestling with the Da Vinci code that is her own emotions. She points out the fight against the Noise isn’t a game, and it ain’t no comic book bullshit either. It’s real, it’s out there, and it’s not pretty yet easily marketable as cute mascots. And what does our protagonist say? No making it up, she literally says:

“i dunno”

Not a damn brain cell in her body, but props for keeping it real. I’d likely say the same thing.

This is the face of someone currently sucking air through their teeth at the raw frustration that someone would be dumb enough to risk their life for the sake of only helping others.

“listen. im gonna keep it real here. i suck at literally everything. math. social studies. writing. helping people is all i have, because its not a competition. you just... you do it. you dont get better at helping people, you just help. like, thats it. i dunno what else to tell you.”

Then Hibiki points out that she feels it all started with Kanade saving her, and the speech implies its a ‘pay it forward’ sort of affair. She was saved, and so she should save others. Unfortunately, it comes off more as a guilt complex. “I lived, and I feel bad about that, so I gotta save everyone else” kind of stuff.

“its my coping mechanism for my countless traumas!”

“i get it now. you’re just as much of a mess as i am. you just dont show it as much. that kinda thinking’s gonna get you killed.”

Tsubasa then correctly points out that it is a kind of survivor’s guilt, where she wants to be released from the pain of old wounds, completely unaware of the irony of her statement.

“yeah. i get ya. we’re both wrecks. but... we can be wrecks working together.”

This would be the part where she says I’M SORRY but apparently we just don’t fucking do apologies in Symphogear, huh? Too good for ‘em, eh?! God.

Then they go outside and talk more about stuff and Durandal. The summation:

“do you have the capacity to live a life forever kicking ass?”

“yeah”

Hibiki, coming to terms with how she wants to deal with shit, manages to sharpen (haw) her resolve as to who she is and how she uses her abilities.

Meanwhile...

“i cant believe hibiki is having an affair with an attractive idol popstar. especially my favorite one from their old band. not only is she cheating on me, but she’s cheating on me from one of the five people on my lists id immediately get with if i had the chance. it feels like a double betrayal. a real life one, and a fantasy one... why do i find this weirdly hot...?”

“HEY NEWCOMER WELCOME TO THE CUCK AND BUCK WHERE WE SELL FRESHLY FRIED CUCKS FOR ONE BUCK, REAL EASY, REAL CHEAP, GOOD OL’ FASHIONED JAPANESE SOULFOOD”

“ive come to take my throne. i’ll take the ‘one flew over the cuckoo’s nest” and have the three eggs over easy with the ‘easy sleazy pancakes’”

“make it an extra lonely helping. this is gonna be a long afternoon.”

“ahhh. a freshly cucked newcomer coming to the cuck and buck to duck amongst their bad luck run amok, huh?”

“listen dont sass me about my busy girlfriend with your dr. seuss antics just gimmie the food and lets get this over with”

“no problem! sorry, they just come easy. it’s hard to buck at the cuck and buck when rhymes you huck make you wanna fu-”

“FOOD. NOW.”

Miku then ponders about how her feelings may have spiraled from a process of over thinking, or possibly hunger. Maybe both. Maybe Hibiki isn’t cheating on her. Maybe the reasons are more complicated than she knows. She briefly contemplates communication; a futile gesture when it is Hibiki safeguarding a secret she is forced to keep for incredibly stupid reasons.

“thanks for the food, miss. it really helped sort my feelings out.”

“no probs, kid. here at the cuck and buck, the only thing we cuck here is... our hearts.”

Meanwhile, Hibiki is still hanging with Tsubasa. Hey, if you’re gonna hang out with a critically acclaimed popstar, might as well squeeze every minute out of it, right?

“so... taco bell, huh? im surprised you actually like taco bell now. maybe you just like fast food styled psuedo-mexican restraunts? have you tried chipotle?”

“i... maybe you’re right, actually. i’ve grown to love taco bell, but... maybe i should expand my horizons. kanade did say... singing makes you hungry. maybe thats what she meant. i should take to new life experiences...”

“yeah! i can take you to all the good fast food places i know!”

“dont you have a girlfriend?”

“she can join us! she’s a big fan of you after all!”

“hey- hey wait! m- more friends? more... more friends... more friends.....”

“more friends...”

Meanwhile, a crisis develops.

Chris, having heard the f-word (friendship), is heading immediately to do the exact opposite of this.

She’s taken some pointers from Tsubasa, t-posing to assert dominance.

“how the fuck is she even flying”

“i cant wait to tell hibiki how much i love and appreciate her despite the weird NTR aura surrounding this whole situation”

“yeah, that’s right! i’m meeting the Gremlin in the park for an asskicking, don’t worry!”

“oh, speak of the devil! hibiki! i love and appreciate you despite the weird ntr auras!”

“miku- wait. oh no. i saw this happen in sam reimi’s spiderman 3. im fucked.”

“YOU GUESSED CORRECTLY, PIDGEON BANGS”

I know I’ve joked about homewrecking, but this is ridiculous.

Chris realizes there’s someone else around she may have potentially hurt. This is surprising, given murder is not something she has shyed away from, but she’s slowly climbing that ladder of morality, so cut her some slack for taking it one rung at a time.

“im losing my girl. losing my grip. now im about to lose my life. this NTR business truly is the worst.”

Chris has accidentally employed the Dio Brando style of disposing of people, which consists of throwing a vehicle and smashing them until dead.

“you’ve taken one step too close to my heartstrings, Gremlin, and for that you’re about to understand the full definition of an ass kicking.”

Hibiki fucking punches the car. Everything is forgiven in this episode for now.

“i... hibiki... are you... a street fighter character? holy shit. oh my god. hibiki oh my god you’re a street fighter character. thats been the true problem here. you’re a street fighter character now. oh my god. cheating? how could i have thought cheating was involved? you were literally just becoming a straight up superhero! oh my god. the abs! the washboard abs! the signs were all around me! the only thing you went to do behind my back was kick ass!”

“i’m sorry. i need to go kick ass now.”

The good news is all that tension just got evaporated. Miku sorta gets the truth now: her girlfriend hasn’t been cheating on her, she’s just been trying to save the local tri-county area from the grips of inter-dimensional alien eldritch entities controlled by a Gremlin and her Mistress. It’s a lot to take in, though.

These two are about to fight head to head. Last time, Hibiki was but the pupil. Now, she is the Master.

“can’t touch me, goldie locks. lemme do you a favor and CRACK THAT WHIP!”

“oh my god hibiki’s gonna fight that weird looking person”

“naruto running deeper into the woods isn’t gonna stop me from beating your ass senseless, fists for brains”

“thats because i wanna talk, asshole”

“wait. wait, what? you... you want to talk? to me?”

Hibiki proceeds to aggressively describe herself to her. Name, identity, blood type, age, the works. This is because she’s trying to befriend her, because Hibiki feels fighting people is bad, and that talking is more useful than fighting. This is a recipe for suicide, normally, but in this instance...

“what in the goddamn hell... i... um... nice.. to meet you...?”

Hibiki deploys a counter-T-Pose to show kinship, feeling that they don’t have to fight like this since they’re not Noise.

“talk may be cheap but it’ll make kicking your ass all the more easier, nerd”

Chris learns this, in fact, does not make the ass kicking all the more easier. Hibiki’s fresh new moves manage to dodge whip after whip of Chris’s attacks, and it’s really starting to annoy her a lot.

“pain in the ass. so you learned how to fight, huh? fine. you’ll tire out eventually.”

“let’s just talk, seriously! or maybe we can bond over board games-”

“i FUCKING hate board games. the fuck are you, a grandma? just fight already! people cant understand each other anyway!”

“JUST DIE ALREADY!”

“i was told to kidnap you. but im exerting a loophole today; no one told me to do it alive”

“the only kidnapping going down is me, sleeping in on a thursday afternoon forgetting class exists, you neon porcupine. so come at me. can’t kick me ass if you dont come any closer, right?”

“WITH PLEASURE!”

“ive watched the entirety of dragonball z, i know exactly how this fight’s gonna go down”

“finally. looks like i got y- hey, wait, what?”

“ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY JANKING MY LEG? THIS BITCH IS LITERALLY GOKU? PULLING KAMEHAMEHAS AND SHIT? WHY? god. its me. yukine chris. why do you hate me. why do you drag me through all this shit only to be hit in the head with some real anime baloney. why. please. have some mercy.”

“i dont know what a goku is but sure, yeah, why not”

“im going to kill her. oh my god. she doesnt even know who goku is.”

“get that tentacle shit away from me. im not fucking around anymore. we’re going to have a heart to heart whether you like it or not!”

“oh shit she found my weakness. really close melee combat.”

“MADE A FRIENDSHIP GIFT FOR YA. IT’S A FRESHLY MADE KNUCKLE SANDWICH, STRAIGHT FROM THE DELI”

“OH GOD, PLEASE, NOT MY FACE”

“REQUEST ACCEPTED, PAL”

Hibiki punched her so hard that she physically destroyed the entire armor Chris was wearing in a single blow.

“she... she doesnt punch ME like that... i mean, probably because she loves me, but..”

“did... did she just kill that person...? hibiki...? you, uh... you alright...?”

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

What if Ax joined the team in the first book?

[Someone asked me what would happen if Ax joined the team at the same time as everyone else.  Whoever it was: sorry that I lost your ask; drop me a line so I can credit your idea.]

When Aximili asks to come along for the fight, Elfangor — against his better judgment — relents.  «Stay close,» he says, and «Don’t touch anything.»

«Yes, Prince Elfangor,» Aximili says.

Elfangor flashes him a quick smile, stalk eyes only.  The use of the title shows that Aximili understands the seriousness of the situation.  This is no driftball game where they can argue over the rules.  This is combat, and thus Elfangor’s word must be law.

Elfangor knows he made the right call.  That Aximili is mature enough to be cabin boy (as the humans would say) for the GalaxyTree.  He was right to insist to his captain that his little brother is ready for combat, aristh or no.  And he proves to be right in letting Aximili come along in his fighter.  Otherwise, Elfangor is reasonably certain, Aximili would have perished along with the rest of their crew.

It’s mere seconds into the battle that the Blade ship’s dracon cannon strikes the Dome ship square in its broadside.  Mere minutes that pass between the T.O. first spotting the yeerks and a thousand warriors crying out in a single thought-speak shout of despair, only to be horribly silenced.

In that moment, Elfangor’s mind races in a dozen directions at once: Andalite fighters aren’t equipped for planetary landfall.  The Time Matrix is down there on that planet.  The G-force of attempting to reach it could kill them both.  There’s an Escafil device stored in his fighter’s center console.  The yeerks are on Earth.  Loren is on Earth.  Tobias is on Earth.  Aximili is right here in the fighter with him, sharing the risk and the blame if anything goes wrong.  The Time Matrix... The G-force... The Blade ship... The humans...

Elfangor makes an impossible choice, because all the choices are impossible.  «Strap in,» he tells Aximili.  «Brace for impact.»

Aximili doesn’t ask.  Doesn’t point out that Elfangor’s out of his mind.  Instead, he scrambles for the crash harness.

A nudge of the controls.  Almost slowly, almost gently, the little fighter surrenders to the planet’s gravity well.  It tilts.  It slides.  And it starts to accelerate.

Elfangor yanks back on the thrusters with all his strength, even as the hydraulics scream at him and the craft judders with hull-cracking force.  They are become a meteor, arcing across Earth’s sky in a jet trail of flames.

Bracing all four hooves against the floor, Elfangor struggles for fast calculations of half-remembered geography.  That’s North America... That’s the west coast... No, no, further south, struggling to force the craft to obey... That patch of light must be Los Angeles... That satellite is San Diego...

Aximili is whispering the oaths to prince and people and honor, the oaths repeated before death.  He does not have to do it so that Elfangor can hear, and yet he seems to want to share this small comfort before the end.

Elfangor slams the secondary braking system into place.  The craft goes from thousands of miles an hour to mere hundreds in half a second.  Gravity flips sickeningly.

Aximili, safe in the harness, gets jarred but nothing else.  Elfangor, who had no time to join him, slams into the far wall with a breath-destroying crunch.  He staggers to his feet, weak gasps of pain escaping without his permission.  He’s bleeding internally, ribs broken, his lower heart sending out horrible judders of pain with every beat.  He remains hopeful, however — until he looks down and sees a wasteland of concrete and half-finished buildings where an empty field should be.  «No,» he whispers, helpless.  «No.»

«Elfangor...?»  Aximili’s voice is so tentative it verges on inaudible.

Elfangor is staring at the nav screen showing a familiar set of coordinates and also at the fifteen feet of solid cement between him and the Time Matrix.  Still, a part of him refuses to believe.

He lands anyway.  Stumbles out, just to be sure — and finds himself face-to-face with five human children.  Five children on a planet on the brink of subjugation.  Five children surrounded by threats on all sides and yet unknowing and defenseless.  Five children, one of whom has Loren’s wide grey eyes and soft yellow hair and the round-shouldered build of a long-lost human named Alan Fangor.

«Aximili,» Elfangor says.  The yeerks are coming.  Visser Three will kill him, either now or after the kind of hunt that will tear this planet apart.  Better to let it happen now.  Better to use these last moments to give Earth a fighting chance.  «Come out here.  Bring the Escafil device.»

Ax is reeling, spinning, too far into shock to take it all in.  Elfangor is dead.  Dead because of Visser Three, the Abomination.  Dead partially by his own choice, as well.  Because when Ax tried to insist that they stay and fight, or that they morph and run, Elfangor held up a hand to stop him.

«Aximili, I can’t explain everything right now, but this is what has to be done.»  His private thought-speak was rushed, harried.  «I need you to go with Tobias and the others.  They’ll keep you safe.  And they’ll need you to guide them.»

«I can’t do this,» Aximili had whispered.  «I don’t know enough, I don’t know how...»

«Aristh Aximili, formerly of the GalaxyTree, formerly of Mother and Father’s awful lopsided scoop they’ll never get around to fixing.»  There had been a catch of emotion to Elfangor’s voice, thought-speak letting more leak through than the words alone.

Aximili felt himself go cold all over, knees locking, breath struggling with unshed tears.  He understood a field promotion when he heard one.  He knew what was coming.

«I hereby relinquish my command to you, Prince Aximili.  I do so in utmost trust that you will serve our cousins faithfully, both on the homeworld and here, though we are far from home.»  Elfangor bowed his head.  «I am the servant of the People. I am the servant of my prince.»  He lifted his eyes to look straight at Aximili, leaving no chance that he could be referring to their captain.  «I am the servant of honor. My life is not my own, when the People have need of it. My life is given for the People, for my prince, and for my honor.»

It went against everything they’d been taught, but Aximili allowed the tears to fall then.  He’d listened, one last time, when Elfangor told him to take the humans and run.  To flee this place and not look back.  To avoid knowing what was going to happen next.

They take Ax (they call him Ax; he doesn’t care) back to the house of the human called Jake.  Ax staggers along, awkward on two legs.  He acquired the human called Tobias, for now.  Later, he will have to make himself a properly unique human morph, but for now he’s too sick at hearts to perform a proper frolis maneuver.

The humans were very concerned with putting artificial skins on Ax’s human shape; the two females refused even to look at him until he wore a windbreaker from the human called Jake and the human called Rachel had fashioned him a sarong of sorts from her overshirt.

“My parents are going to think that Tobias is a raging nutjob, but that’s okay because they’ve never met him before,” Jake says, by way of apology.

“Nutjob.  Nut.  T-t.  T-job.”  Ax understands most of the words, but for those two.  It’s comforting, even in this strange shape, to allow the dual click of his human tongue: once at the very front of his mouth for T, once further back for J.  “T... Tuh.  Juh.  T’Juh.”  The repeated motion calms him, keeps him from thinking.

“Yep, you’re really proving my point right about now.”  With a sigh, Jake pushes the front door open.

Jake shepherds Ax up to his room after a bare minimum of interaction with the rest of the family.  He offers a padded tube known as a sleeping bag (Ax declines) and assures Ax more than once that they’ll work out a better solution tomorrow.  Ax finds the human dwelling strange and uncomfortable; it is all blocky angles and enclosing walls.  He cannot even see the stars, and the thick fabric covering the floor proves to be inedible.  After demorphing, he folds himself into a  corner to try and sleep.

At first Jake asks many questions: about Elfangor, about morphing, about yeerks and controllers.  Ax does his best to answer without giving too much away.  Finally Jake’s voice tapers off, his breathing becomes slow, and he starts to make a steady noise that Ax will later learn is called snoring.

Ax tries to sleep.  He lists z-space theorems in his mind, breathes slowly, tries to think of nothing.  He recites the ritual of death.  Recites it again.  Continues to turn the phrases over in his mind.  Hoping that soon they will take on meaning and cease to be mere words.

They are both awakened the next morning by a staccato tap tap tap against Jake’s window.  Jake sits upright, rubbing at his eyes.  “What the...?”

There is a small quadruped balancing on his windowsill, batting at the glass with one front paw.  «Let me in, would you?» says the quadruped, in a voice that Ax recognizes as Tobias’s.  «I’m still learning how to balance as a cat, and it took me forever to get here.»

With an ease startling to Ax, Jake rolls to his feet and shoves the window open with strong human arms.  “How are you doing this?” he asks.

«How long have you been in morph?» Ax says over him, alarmed.  Elfangor told the aliens about the time limit last night, and Ax emphasized it again after they left the construction site.  This kind of behavior — morphing unsupervised, using an untested animal, failing to track the time — is shockingly careless.

«Not sure.»  Tobias drops lightly to the ground.  «This is hands-down the coolest thing I have ever experienced.  I don’t know how you andalite types ever get anything done, with this kind of fun to distract you —»

«Demorph immediately!»  Ax speaks so sharply that both Jake and Tobias stare at him.

«Okay, but I’m kinda naked—»

«It is imperative that you demorph!  Do you wish to become a nothlit?»

«Fine, fine,» Tobias says.  To Ax’s enormous relief, he is resuming his human form as he speaks.  «What’s a nothlit?»

Jake removes some artificial skins from the much smaller room adjacent to his desk and hands them to Tobias.

«A nothlit is a person who has become trapped in morph and cannot resume andalite shape,» Ax says.  «The process is irreversible.  Fifteen percent of andalites in the first generation ever to morph suffered this fate.  It is the terrible price of this gift.»

“Huh.”  Tobias finishes pulling one of Jake’s garments over his head.  “And then what happens to them?”

«They are trapped.  Unable to demorph.  Forever.»

“Yeah, but I assume you, like, accommodate them as animals or whatever, right?  You said fifteen percent of some groups.  So there’s probably a lot of people like that, and you probably have some fancy tech to help them do stuff, right?”  Tobias’s eyes are wide in what Ax is beginning to recognize as a human expression of hopefulness.

Ax shifts position on the carpet.  «No.  Not really.  They are usually secluded from society.»

“What, just because they’re stuck as cats forever?”

«They are vecols.»  Seeing Tobias’s confusion, Ax clarifies, «warriors who are permanently wounded.  It is best to allow them their privacy, apart from mainstream andalite society.»

“Separate but equal, huh?” Jake says, a darkness to his tone that Ax does not understand.

«Yes, exactly,» Ax says.

Tobias and Jake look at each other.  Tobias makes a wordless sound in the back of his throat.

“So much for the superior alien society coming to enlighten us,” Jake mutters.

«It is for their own good,» Ax tries to explain.

“Oh, so you polled every single one of them, and they prefer the ghettos to —”  Jake cuts himself off.  “Okay, this is not what we need to talk about.  Aliens.  Yeerks.  Let’s go get the others, yeah?”

The next few days are... overwhelming.  All of them assemble near the home of the human called Cassie, in a space filled several other species of Earth animal.  They have questions for Ax, dozens of questions, and they talk over each other in their eagerness to learn about andalites and thought-speak, interstellar travel and dracon beams.  Marco and Cassie want to recuse themselves from the war entirely, while Tobias and Rachel want to throw themselves headlong into the fight with an eagerness that shows they don’t truly understand how hopeless the fight will be.

Ax does his best to tell them what he can, while keeping state secrets to himself.  He reminds them time and again to be careful when morphing, because it’s the only thing he knows that they must be told.

He doesn’t know how to lead them.  He’s not qualified to be a war-prince.  He has no idea how to balance Seerow’s Kindness against their demands to understand why their home is being invaded and destroyed.

In the end, Tobias helps Ax set up a scoop in the woods.  Jake’s appalled at the idea of Ax being alone out there with no human domicile, but eventually Ax succeeds in impressing on him that this is what he wants.  Finally he wins them over.  It’s a relief, to be out in woods that are not quite familiar but nevertheless closer to what he knows from the homeworld.  It gives him the chance to be alone, away from the aliens and the infinite answers he doesn’t have for them.

All of the humans come by with gifts for his scoop: books, a small television, magazines and newspapers, a material called plywood that keeps out the rain.  Marco provides several cans of a delicious substance known as Spam, and an even more delicious condiment known as kerosene.  Their worry is... touching.  But Ax also suspects it is not right.  A prince should look after his warriors, not the other way around.

At their next team meeting, Ax walks in to find an ongoing argument between Marco and Jake.

“You don’t have any proof,” Jake is saying.

“That cop knew him.”  Marco crosses his arms. “That cop, who was definitely a controller, was like ‘oh, you’re Tom Berenson’s brother?  Never mind then.’  Not to mention the fact that you said yourself he’s been acting weird.  And yeah, him deciding to give us the ninth degree about UFOs and how we know Tobias was really fucking weird.  So you just don’t want to admit that your brother —”

Which is when Jake hits Marco across the face with a closed fist.  Marco staggers back a step, cursing and cupping his jaw.

“Stop!” Cassie shouts.

Marco presses the heel of his hand to his swelling lower lip.  “Tell me I’m wrong,” he spits.  “Tell me the Sharing isn’t sketchy as hell.  Tell me the way he talks about it is totally normal.  Go ahead.  Look me in the eye and tell me you actually believe that.”

Jake is gasping for air, face flushed, staring around himself as if lost.  His knuckles are bleeding.  “Ax,” he says.  “Ax, I’d know, right?  I’d be able to tell if — If —”

They’re talking about Jake’s older brother.  Ax briefly met the human in question on that first night, and didn’t get much of an impression one way or another.  “I don’t know,” he says at last, very slowly.  “I have not known... nnnnooonne... any controllers.  Oll-lers.  The yeerks can access all the memories of their hosts, so it would be possible... ssssib-bble...”

“Possible.”  Jake takes a breath.  “Possible.  But not guaranteed.  So we... we use this morphing thing.  We go to a Sharing meeting, and we prove that there’s nothing wrong with the Sharing, because Tom would never get involved with a yeerk organization.  In the process, we prove that there’s nothing wrong with Tom.”

It occurs to Ax that he shouldn’t allow his team to take this kind of risk, especially not for the sake of a single human who is likely lost to yeerk control already.  He knows, too, that Jake may even be right about his brother being unlikely to join the yeerks willingly, but that it makes little difference if so.

Only, the thing is, it occurs to Ax as well to wonder what he would do if it was Elfangor who’d been taken.

“We can do this,” he says aloud.  “Th—ssssss.  But we must be careful.”

Ax’s suspicions about Marco’s suspicions prove to be correct.  Tom, and most of the Sharing’s other full members, are in fact controllers.  Jake proves to be right as well that Tom isn’t voluntary, sparse consolation though it is.  Ax doesn’t like Jake’s plan to go charging down to the yeerk pool to free Tom and the other hosts, but this is a human affair and perhaps a human decision.  So he goes along with them to acquire DNA — and when Cassie gets taken, he commits fully to leading his first-ever battle.

“Tobias has been in morph for kind of a while, right?” Jake asks Ax as they walk to the middle school.

Ax has warned Tobias already about timing; he doesn’t feel capable of doing it again.  “I am sure that Tobias knows how to be safe,” he says.

Ax has read about battle.  Studied it extensively.  Listened to Elfangor’s stories, asking incessant questions.  Learned all the theories.  Even watched holos of famous fights.  In short, he is as prepared as it is possible for an untested aristh to be.

He knows nothing of war.

The battle happens all at once, from more directions than even he can watch with stalk eyes scanning frantically all around him.  Humans and animals and hork-bajir and taxxon clash and scream, shoot and claw and die.  Blood slicks the floor, spilled kandrona slopping over the sides of the pool as bodies crash down among the yeerks.  He doesn’t know who is a controller, who is a host, who is a friend or an enemy.

Hork-bajir charge him, dozens of blades at the ready.  He bashes them back with frantic graceless tail swings.  A taxxon is already down, intestines spilling across the floor, before he has time to plan the strike.  No time to think.  No time to feel.  Exhaustion and foreign gravity drag him down.

He’s going to die down here.  He’s going to die like his brother, slaughtered on an alien planet and devoured.  He’s going to die, and his parents will never learn what happened to either of them.

«Ax! Ax!»

He strikes at the shape.  Luckily fatigue slows his swing.  Luckily Jake ducks with cat reflexes.  Too late he registers blood-matted orange fur.

«We’re losing ground,» Jake says, gasping for air.  «Time to get the hell out of here while we still can.»

«But...»  Ax is crazy; why is he objecting?  «But we haven’t saved anyone... We haven’t...»

«This is— Ax, we stay, we die.»  He’s right.  He’s right.

«We go, then,» Ax says.  He’s a failure.  A coward.  He’s running from his duty.  If Elfangor knew— «Everyone!  We have to go!» Ax shouts.

Rachel raises her trunk, bellowing.  She shoulders aside controllers and hosts alike, clearing a path for the rest of them.  She’s not going to make the stairs, not with that bulk.  Marco is loping behind her, but Cassie is pinned down by three hork-bajir clear across the room.  There’s no sign of Tobias.

His warriors are dying around him.  He doesn’t know what to do.  All the choices are wrong.  Enemies are on all sides, far too many to fight.

«Help Rachel and Marco!» Jake calls.  «I’m going for Cassie.»

Ax doesn’t question.  He leaps, clearing the heads of a dozen human-controllers, and lands next to Marco.  Together they brutalize their way forward, cutting down or shoving aside anyone that gets too close.

The battle swells and screams and roars around Ax.  It’s too much to keep track of.  He loses Jake and Cassie, still hasn’t found Tobias.  All he can do is keep swinging, keep yanking his tail back bone-sore and flinging it gore-slick into yet another hot sick piece of flesh.

He stumbles over a small protrusion in the floor.  Marco steadies him roughly.  It’s the first stair.  He struggles up the first several too-small steps, hooves sliding on the blood-slick stone.

Rachel is shrinking, half-crushed by the crowd of fleeing hosts.  She goes down.  Marco and Ax haul her upright.  They pull her forward with unforgiving speed in spite of her many injuries, trying to keep the mob from eating her whole.  Ax feels the strange sizzling non-pain of a fourth-degree dracon burn along his left hind leg.  His collapse halted by the press of the crowd, he shoves onward.

Ax bursts into the bizarre empty quiet of the high school hallway.  Marco is just ahead of him, carrying Rachel with her face hidden against his dark fur.

Half a dozen hosts are fleeing in every direction.  «Godspeed,» Marco murmurs, looking after them.  His thought-speak is shaky with unshed tears.

It’s nearly a half an hour — long enough for Ax to show Rachel how to morph to be rid of injuries — before there’s a clatter of hooves.  Cassie, still in horse morph, bursts through the doorway.  Jake is slumped across her back, clinging to her mane with the arm that isn’t severed at the elbow by a hork-bajir blade.  His right side and Cassie’s entire flank are soaked with blood.  He slides off the moment they’re safe, green-white with shock.  Ax rushes to his side to tell him to morph.

When Jake has morphed and demorphed, he slowly sits up.  He looks from where Rachel is punching a locker door repeatedly to where Marco crouches over the custodian’s sink to vomit.  Finally, he looks up at Ax.  “Where’s Tobias?” he asks, soft and hoarse.

Rachel whirls away from the locker she was abusing.  “We thought he was with you!”

They all stare at each other in silence for several more seconds.

Jake curls forward to bury his face in his hands.  “We have to go,” he says into his palms.  “If... if I don’t get home before Tom does...”

There’s another long moment of silence.  Marco becomes the first to turn and walk away.

Tobias finds Ax, later that night.  He’s not dead, anyway.  And he’s not a controller, not in that form.  Ax knows better to voice such sparse consolation.  He can’t offer hope, not really.  Instead he does his best to listen, and to let Tobias say what he will.

Their next meeting in Cassie’s barn is... tense.

“How could we let this happen?” Jake demands.  “How could we have done this?  I should have known—”

«Jake...» Tobias says.

“Anyway, I’m out.”  Marco stands up.

“Fine, then get out!” Rachel shouts.  “What are you waiting for?  Go run home to Daddy!”

“What I’m waiting for is to see if I can convince any of you people to come with me!” Marco says.  “Because, for the record, we should all be out.”  He takes a breath.  “Ax... Jake... I know you both have more of a stake in this.  But...”

“It’s your call, dude,” Jake says.

“Okay, but back to the real problem,” Rachel snaps.  “How do we fix Tobias?”

Ax takes a step back.  She didn’t look directly at him, but both Jake and Cassie did.  «I... I wish that I had more answers... Escafil’s paradox of zero-space delay...»  He has no answers.  No words.

«In short: we don’t.»  Tobias jerks his head.  «So.  Guess I’ll be hanging out with Ax a lot more in the future.»

“But even if we can’t demorph him...”  Cassie is definitely looking at Ax.  So is everyone else.  “There has to be something we can do, right?”

Ax’s tail hits the stall door behind him.  He’s been backing away from them the entire time.  His chest heaves with panic, eyes skittering from one target to another.  Except Tobias.  He can’t look at Tobias.

“Ax?” Jake says, and then, “Hey, Ax, hey.  Just, just, take a second, okay?”

“Take a second?”  Rachel crosses her arms.  “He’s the one who got us into this, and now Tobias—”

«I’m a fraud!» Ax bursts out.  He’s shaking, still gasping.  «I don’t know what I’m doing — I’m just a stupid incompetent kid.  I ran last night, like a coward, and I left Tobias to be killed.  I’m not a war prince, I’m a fake!  A stupid, useless fake!»

Tobias flutters down to land on the stall door across from him. «There’s a big difference between being inexperienced and being a liar, Ax-Man.»

«You don’t — You don’t understand.»  Ax wraps both arms around himself.  «I can’t lead, I can’t do anything right. I have less than four months of training from living on the Dome ship, and even that was only because of being Elfangor’s brother.  I never should have tried to pretend to be a war-prince, because I’m not.  I’m not even a warrior.»

“And, what, you think any of us are?” Jake asks quietly.  “We’re all dumb kids with even less training than what you have.  But we all went down there anyway.  Not because you told us to.  Because I asked for it.”

«I still had responsibility for you all,» Ax says miserably.  «And I failed you.»

“You screwed up, yeah,” Rachel says.  “So do better next time.”

“Next time?” Marco demands.  “You saw that place— You heard— Are you out of your mind?”

She rounds on him.  “You’re right.  I saw.  I heard.  There are little kids down there right now, Marco.  My cousin is down there.  And so are thousands of other people.  If you’re too much of a coward to do anything about it, that’s your problem, but I’m not letting that stop me.”

«I’m still gonna do what I can to help,» Tobias says.  «So count me in.»

“I’m in too,” Jake says.  “Ax?”

«I can’t lead you,» Ax insists.  «I can’t.  It wouldn’t be right.  It’s not my place.»

“Hate to say it, but we need a leader,” Cassie points out.  “Ax, we can’t make you do it if you don’t want to. Tobias, should you lead us?”

«What?  No!  I’m nobody’s leader.»

“Okay, okay.”  Jake looks around.  “We don’t have to decide this right now.  We’re all tired, so let’s just take a breather and meet back here tomorrow when we’re clearer headed.  Yeah?”

None of them argue.  Cassie and Marco murmur agreement.  Rachel’s already turning away, asking Tobias where he plans to stay tonight.

Interesting, Ax thinks.  The vote isn’t until tomorrow, but he suspects he knows already who they’re going to choose.

Jake is not what Ax would’ve expected from a prince.  He calls for a vote any time there’s a major decision to be made.  He always explains himself to his team, after the fact if not in the moment.  He becomes the first one to admit when he made a mistake, and sometimes even when a mess wasn’t his fault at all.  He asks Ax questions.  A lot of questions.

But he leads them.  He makes the calls in the battles.  He takes responsibility for them all, and he carries it well enough to get by.  Unless, of course, the situation calls for an official chain of command.

«Prince Elfangor asked me to lead in his stead,» Ax tells the andalite commander on the long-distance call.  «I accepted the honor, and was humbled by it.»

«Very well, Prince Aximili.» Ithileran’s expression is stiff, but he doesn’t argue.  «We would like to discuss the nature of your strategy for leading the Earth resistance.»

Throughout the conflict on Leera, Commander Galuit seems to be almost bemused by the Animorphs.  «I’ve heard a great deal about you, Prince Aximili,» he says.  «What do you suggest we do about these explosives?»

«I wouldn’t dream of making such a decision without consulting my warriors,» Ax says diplomatically.  It’s Jake’s cue to make a polite suggestion, but that Marco can also be expected to weigh in with an opinion.

«Yes,» Galuit says, as much to himself as anyone.  «You’re an interesting one, indeed.»

“You’ll have to forgive him,” Tobias says loudly to the security forces.  “He’s visiting royalty, you see.  Extremely important prince.  From a place you wouldn’t have heard of.”

Ax has consumed what is, perhaps, slightly more than a typical quantity of mini quiches at what is supposed to be an all-you-can-eat banquet.  He fails to see why this is an occasion for law enforcement.

“Anyway.”  Tobias is now shepherding Ax out of the room, which is unfair because he has only made it halfway through the platter of crab rangoon.  “It’s considered a compliment where he’s from.  And if you even think about filing a report, you will be hearing from the rest of his majesty’s security team.”

“We will not be falling in line,” Jake tells Arbat, chin lifted, eyes narrow.  “We will not be deferring to your command.  We will do what Prince Aximili tells us, and I suggest you do the same.  Because you can either help us, or you can get out of our way.”

Standing on the bridge of the Blade ship, hand resting on the pad that broadcasts footage of the Animorphs to the entire Andalite Electorate, Ax does his best to look confident.  «We have won a great victory this day, but now is the time for peace.  Now is the time to work with the humans to help them rebuild.  Now is the time for forgiveness, for yeerks and taxxons alike.»

«Who are you?» the Technical Officer demands.

Marco opens his mouth to make a smart comment, but refrains.

«I am War-Prince Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill,» Ax says.  «And as of this moment, I am officially ceding my position to Prince Jake Berenson, Commander in Chief of the Earth Resistance.»

Jake steps forward.  Grieved but unbowed.  Nervous but resolute.  All eyes are on him.

So no one notices when Alloran nudges Ax gently in the side.  When he says in private thought-speak, «I can say with utter certainty that he would have been proud of you.»

[osmw1]

Crowbar Nurse   Chapter 9 — Fighting Alongside Him, Even if It Takes Us To the Ends of the Earth

“Kiryu! Are you okay? Seeing you drive yourself into a wall like that makes me wonder if you’re really human.”

“...! Well, looks like you’re alright on your end.”

Landing firmly back on the ground, Kiryu looked over his shoulder and responded to me. Him gritting his teeth told me that repeatedly running into a wall had hurt.

“Yes, the troops should be fine on their own now… we’ll let Nick and the army take care of the enemies in the area. We’ve cleared this stage already, so we can consider it a safe zone.” “You really are something else… I know I’ve asked you if you could do something to stall them, but I didn’t expect you to build a fully-functioning automated zombie-killing system.” “I couldn’t have done it without you coming up with the bait. If it were just me all alone, I probably wouldn’t be still alive.”

I forced a half-hearted chuckle.

“If anything, you’re the one who’s been amazing, Kiryū. I had completely forgotten about bugs and glitches. I didn’t believe you at all at first, but it seems like there’s really a spot which we can use to escape this world…” “Yeah… if I keep attacking this wall, I’ll be able to get past it bit by bit and eventually clip through it entirely.”

Kiryū points to the wall with his chin and to which I nod along.

“Right, and that’s amazing. But… you know, Kiryū, not only do we have the unstoppable army from hell, we also have Nick now. That means we can safely fight the zombies with combat tactics and strategy. You don’t need to force yourself anymore.” “…” “…” “… b-but I want to try.” “Okay. Then let’s do it together.”

He scratched the back of his head after my awkward outburst.

“You don’t need to suffer with me either.” “Well, joining you would be a bit of a headache…”

My forced laugh didn’t make it any less awkward.

“Why are you so focused on this one wall anyway? Are your game dev senses tingling?” “Well, kinda, but also, I just want a clue…”

He paused to let out a melancholic sigh.

“... a clue on how to get out of here. The more I think about what “here” is, the more confused I get. If we’re truly in a game, then there’s gotta be bugs that we can exploit. Something like this wall here.”

Kiryū patted the wall as he spoke.

“Hackers aren’t people who try to force their way through an impenetrable defense. Rather, they scan every nook and cranny where they think they might find chinks in the armor. … I still don’t understand much about this world, but I’m certain, with enough patience and perseverance, I’ll find a bug somewhere. And it’ll be by exploiting those bugs that we’ll find our way home… or so I think.” “Kiryū…” “Y’see, Sera…”

Kiryū looked down at me with a grave face.

“… you have the skills to survive in this world. You were so calm and collected, even when our situation seemed so bleak. But that won’t get us home. There’s no point to survival without a goal. I’m a game dev. Let me handle getting us home… and luckily for us, cracking security is my forte.” “Hey…” “We’ll be alright, Sera. We’ll definitely make it back home.”

He followed his words with a soft, clumsy smile—a telltale sign of someone not used to smiling.

“… you’re right. We’ll make it out of this.”

I couldn’t help but follow suit and smile after seeing his. I realized I came to adore his beautiful smile. —Ignoring the fact that Kiryū is a total hottie from a dating sim game, there’s still something calming about his smile. It’s scary to even imagine how I would be without him… I’d still be lost and wandering alone. I turned and faced the direction of downtown, where zombies and NPCs were killing each other.

Under the thick black smoke billowing out the skyline, monsters ran amok in the city. It was a scene from hell.

Being thrown into this world is frightening. It still frightens me. But I’m glad to have met him…

I was in reflection.

… with him by my side, I can do it.

We’ll laugh at silly things together. We’ll search for our escape together. No matter how bleak our way may seem, we’ll fight through this together.

“… let’s escape past the walls together, Kiryū.”

The profession of a common goal came out of my mouth as I turned towards Kiryū. Be it playing a game or looking for bugs, it’s better with two heads than one. Kiryū cheerily responded with another smile and he showed me the way.

“Thanks. Well, ladies first.” “... what are you so happy about?” “Things are more fun when you get to share it with someone. Isn’t that obvious?” “Running into a wall head first is fun for you?” “Ha-ha, very funny. No, but exploiting bugs is. Okay, listen up, Sera. Stand like this, right up against the corner… yeah, just like that. Now, keep jumping as hard as you can into the wall and you’ll find yourself clipping through it.” “Alright… ugh, I bet this is gonna hurt.”

I might have been grumbling about it, but after closing my eyes shut, I did exactly what he said and began ramming into the wall… though at some point, it really did start to hurt my head.

“You can stop jumping, Sera! You’re through!”

His voice came from beyond the wall. I gingerly opened my eyes and the scene that lay before me was… indescribable.

It was just as Kiryu described—I was beyond this world.

☆

“Whoa…”

Entering another dimension had rendered me speechless, dumbfounded. There were yet more dilapidated buildings here, even more than the Downtown area in game.

I recognize this place… I’m in the Slums.

Hanging from the sills of broken windows was laundry that looked more like rags. An abandoned bicycle lay in the streets below, but anything worth money has already been plundered.

‘The Slums’

Though I may have seen it countless times, I had never stepped foot in the area.

They teased it in the trailer, but this area never made it into the final game…

I racked my memory as I looked around. Not so surprising was the fact that there weren’t any enemies around. What was though, was the backdrop.

The scenery reflects in the sky…

Shivers ran down my spine.

What’s usually the background of the game was now duplicated and plastered all over the space above. But even so, I remembered all of this. This tree stood beside this building, as it did when I played the game. This creepy, odd scene was so… familiar.

I remember someone hacking their way into the Slums portion of the game and uploaded it for everyone to watch…

This space was weird. The buildings and the trees that surround them seem to be crafted out of flimsy sheets of plywood. Almost as if they’re scenery built for a school play. But… scenery pieces and props don’t float in the air, as far as I know. I’m definitely not back in the real world yet.

—Will we really be able to break free of this bizarro world?

“… looks like we’re definitely trapped in another world.”

Instinctively, I spun around to the voice that was behind me. It was Kiryū, and he was here before I even realized. He was grimacing and clutching his head. Must’ve been from running into the wall too hard.

“Guess we really are in an alternate game dimension…” “What do you mean by that? We’re not actually in the game?”

Kiryū’s eyes were shut, still wincing from the pain.

“Yeah. All of the bugs are still present, but this is too well-refined to be the actual game. Take for instance… oh, like my belt here. I’ve strapped the crowbar and the rifle with unlimited ammo to my belt. There’s no way the characters in game could do anything like this.”

He spun around and showed me his backside and there were the crowbar and rifle hanging off his belt.

“Jeez, you’re going to shoot yourself in the butt, Kiryū. … well, but you’ve got a point. There’s no way in the game to stick a gun in your waistband like some gangsta. Oh, and thanks so much for bringing my gun here too.” “You’re far too careless. You know there are zombies out there, right? You can’t afford to leave your weapon behind.”

Kiryū sighed before scanning our surroundings.

“… we’re able to do things we shouldn’t. Things show up that shouldn’t. There are a lot of things we do that require really complex calculations, and we’ve really broken the physics engine too… there’s no way we’re in a game.” “That’s true. Not only have the zombies been freely roaming, we’ve been moving around with way too much freedom than the game would’ve allowed… I’ve never seen this before when I was playing, that’s for sure.”

I looked around once again before shrugging.

“It’s impossible on a technical level, huh?” “Yeah. This world we’re in is barely believable as fantasy, let alone science fiction.”

His eyes narrowed, staring off into the distance. Then, silence fell between us. I was lost in my own thoughts as I glanced around the thin, fake-looking buildings.

Will we make it back alive? How are things like back in the hospital? I wonder if my disappearance caused a huge stir. Or maybe time isn’t even elapsing while I’m on the other side…

Kiryū broke my train of thought as he began to smack the buildings and throw rocks at them. Then I noticed the unusual, distorted shadows by my feet.

“… the resolution of the shadow mapping is really low… clipping over the wall to this side didn’t change a thing.”

Mutters accompanied Kiryū as he examined the different bugs in this world… then, a rock by his foot fell through the ground and disappeared.

“Whoa, is physics not a thing here?!” “… seems that way. We should really watch our step. We might end up falling through the ground and disappearing too.” “What the…” “Well, I guess if you fall, you fall. There’s no helping it, even if you were to worry about it.” “… but you were just telling me to be more careful. Your curiosity beats your risk aversion, hey? It totally shows on your face. It’s saying, ‘exploiting these bugs is too fun to miss out on,’ you know?” “…”

I caught a sheepish, embarrassed smile on his face before I turned to looking around again. I’d be lying if I claimed to totally understand everything he’s said, but I know at least that this side of the wall is a lot weirder than the other side. We really should be more careful…

“… oh. Oh! I just remembered, Kiryū.” “What is it?”

Like a certain theoretical physicist would do, Kiryū had been bashing his red crowbar against every object he saw to make sure there weren’t any bugs that he might have forgotten about.

“I just can’t help but feel like this is all sci-fi. Are you sure we’re not trapped in some sort of game world, like the protagonists in Lance Art Online?”

While voicing my concerns, I sat down on the ground, leaning on a wall. It looked safe enough anyway. He answered with shock.

“We were just working unpaid overtime, weren’t we? Where did we get the time to start playing video games?” “Umm, our memories probably just got a little scrambled. You know how popular VR gaming has been real popular lately? Someone probably knocked us out, kidnapped us, brought us to some underground testing chambers of a secret government agency, and made us guinea pigs to test out the newest VR headsets! … whaddya think?” “It’s just a little farfetched.”

Kiryū snickered as he playfully smacked me on the top of my head.

“Could you feel that?” “Totally.” “Me too. We both physically felt it. No game is capable of this level of haptic feedback. If a player hits anything with their hands, then the same amount of energy should be sent back into their hands. That would require actuators. Without them, we would have neither the senses of “touch” and “being touched”. We haven’t even dreamed of having a gaming console or VR system with that level of technology.” “Dang. Sci-fi is endlessly deep.” “It’s not sci-fi either. We’re at the brink of large-scale development of that kind of tech.” “Hmm… stuff like that kinda goes over my head, but I assume it’s still not feasible to fit all that into a glove.” “You’re exactly right.”

He nodded.

“That’s why if we were really in a current-gen VR game, we would phase through other players and walls. The collision detection isn’t at that level yet. Plus, I don’t think any headset could provide such an expansive field of vision.” “I guess… that’s kinda lame, though. It would’ve been cool if we were stuck in a VR game world.”

Kiryū snickered again.

“I feel you. But think about it. Firstly, if we were really stuck in a VR world, we could simply take off the headset and get out of here.” “I think the in Lance Art Online, the players couldn’t get out because their brains were hooked up to the game.” “That’s the least believable part. How would you even connect a brain to a game? We don’t have that sort of technology yet. What, did they crack open their skulls, plug in electrodes, and stick a USB port out through the back of their necks?” “No way, that’s super lame. And grotesque.” “Gross, sure, but I don’t think anybody would do that much for ‘just a video game’ anyway.” “Oh, I’m not so sure about that.” “It doesn’t sound very lucrative either. … there’s no way any company would develop something that over-the-top. I don’t think you’ll have to worry about being stuck in a VR world.”

With a shrug and a smile, Kiryū dismantled my theory before becoming dead serious.

“Anyway… it doesn’t look good for us. If we’re really lost in some of alternate game dimension, then how are we meant to get back? What’s the key to solving all of this…?” “…”

I grimaced at the words Kiryū said to himself. —How do we get out of this world? I haven’t got the slightest idea… Not ideas, rather I had tears started welling up before I knew it. I had more important things to be anxious about, though.

“And, umm, Kiryū? I was wondering…” “What’s up?” “Are we… stepping on someone?” “…”

We instantly turned our heads down to the ground to see a purple lump trampled beneath our feet.

“Agh, we totally are!”

We weren’t strictly stepping on a body, but just a skirt—the skirt a girl was wearing. I knew she probably wasn’t an NPC simply by looking at her grandiose clothing. She’s one of us… someone trapped in the body of a video game character.

■VR headsets

A headset for VR games. Though there was a setback in the mid 1990’s, this medium found its resurgence in 2012. It was then a teenager and his handcrafted prototypes received remarkable crowdfunding support and ultimately, rapidly leading the current trend.

contents: /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /ch005/ /ch006/ /ch007/ /ch008/ /ch009/ /next/

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[bananareview]

Hataraku Saibou Episode 1 Review

FINALLY, AN ANIME THAT I CAN UNDERSTAND FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!

So, Hataraku Saibou or Cells at Work is an anime that focuses on the lives of our cells. As what Aniplex USA had described,

“This is a story about you. A tale about the inside of your body...

According to a new study, the human body consists of approximately 37 trillion cells. These cells are hard at work every day within a world that is your body. From the oxygen carrying Red Blood Cells to the bacteria fighting White Blood Cells. Get to know the unsung heroes and the drama that unfolds inside of you!”

[Source: http://cellsatwork-anime.com/introduction/]

This is a very much anticipated anime, especially to people like me who are in the field of Biology. Beware as this review contains spoilers!

So the first episode started with its very cheerful and upbeat opening. I really like the opening since it gives a vibe that the anime is nothing too heavy (yet?). And I really like how it shows a lot of characters that might probably be introduced soon (I haven’t read the manga yet. Hehe).

And THERE ARE CHIBIS IN THE SHOW!!!!

Chibis make the world go round, so I’m really excited for this.

The first character to be introduced was Red Blood Cell who was delivering oxygen in the arteries.

She was introduced as the cell that carries oxygen and carbon dioxide using blood circulation. I really like how she was illustrated especially her hat. Red Blood Cells are biconcave discs which allows them to be able to absorb more oxygen (N E R D  A L E R T), so for Red Blood Cell to have her hat shaped like that was really fascinating.

Back to the story, right after Red Blood Cell successfully delivers oxygen, the floor suddenly exploded!

Then these weird looking blue cockroaches suddenly came out. Yikes! [But they actually look good as villains so W O W even if they look like cockroaches with tubes.]

They found the place (arteries) as comfortable and filled with food so they decided to terrorize the resident cells and chase them away. [Hmm, that sounds so familiar.]

Then this leader of the blue cockroaches suddenly attacked Red Blood Cell who did not run while the terrorists were declaring their claim on land. Come on, girl, why did you stay there and listen to their crappy statement. Do you want to die!?

But main characters NEVER die on the first episode so here comes the hero!

So this is obviously white blood cell from his all white appearance.

Then this Mr. White Blood Cell MURDERS the blue cockroaches. and then he was followed by the other white blood cells who executes an OPLAN: Massacre the Blue Cockroaches.

Then he is the third character to be introduced. He is Mr. White Blood Cell Neutrophil Division, U-1146. Let’s just call him the Main WBC since he looks so cool among the others. YAS!

His function was introduced as he was responsible in eliminating foreign substances. And take note that he is a Neutrophil [There are other kinds of White Blood Cells] which consists about half of the White Blood Cell population.

The blue cockroaches with tubes were introduced as bacteria, so let’s drop the “blue cockroaches with tubes” name.

The other cells described the Neutrophil gang as scary, merciless cells. Well, they have to be merciless towards invading organisms for us not to be in danger.

Then Ms. Main RBC (Red Blood Cell)l stood up and thanked Mr. Main WBC.

Then Mr Main WBC coolly replied that there’s no need to thank him since he’s only doing his job.

This seemed quite cold, thus he rephrased his statement into “No, I mean you’re welcome.” Cute.

AND I THINK SOMEONE FELL IN LOVE ALREADY!!!

One would think that the problem was already over since the Neutrophils had come to the rescue.

But no! There’s one more who escaped the neutrophil’s wrath!

After that, Ms. Main RBC resumed to her work.

And apparently, she, kind of, doesn’t have any sense of direction.

Because she ends up in different places that she’s not supposed to be in. [And by the way, Macrophages are so good looking!]

Then she ends up in the lymphatic vessel, which is clearly, not the lungs.

Then she decides to ask some of the other RBCs but they said that it’s a bit hard to follow the maps since constructions are always on going.

Then, she ends up in an alley with no one in sight to ask for directions, but there is this one green door with an X, so she decides to knock and ask.

However...

She finds the lone ranger of the invading bacterium instead!!!

And the funny things is, instead of screaming and running away, or wailing so bad while seeking for help, Ms. Main RBC closed the door like she saw nothing inside.

That would have been my decision too, you know. Close the door and walk away; act like nothing happened. HAHA

But then, of course, the bacterium will not allow that.

The bacterium started to attack Ms. Main RBC and Ms Main RBC had some superb  ninja skills to defend herself. Still, those superb ninja skills cannot protect Ms Main RBS, so our hero appeared once more!

YEAH! COME ON! KILL THAT BACTERIUM!

But then, as we know, bacteria have capsules to protect themselevs from  being attacked by our immune system. So the bacterium released its capsule with a smoke bomb and trapped our main characters.

Then, Mr. Main WBC ran to search for the bacterium and introduced the bacterium as a Pneumococcus which multiplies asexually. Mr. Main WBC describes Pneumococcus as a bacterium that invades the lungs, causing pneumonia and other diseases.

So they ran while looking for the bacterium, but then they have to  it quickly as Pneumococcus also causes pneumococcal bacteremia -- invading the other organs through the bloodstream.

Mr. Main WBC asked the other WBCs for help since Pneumococcus is quite fast in terms of infection. But then, the other WBCs were also busy.

Then, suddenly, Mr. Main WBC’s receptor vibrated, which mean that the bacterium was just near!

Yeah, it kinda looks like an antenna from Teletubbies.

Then they realized that the bacterium was actually heading towards the lungs, so they gran towards the lungs. They passed through the dendrtic cells, which were illustrated in a very fascinating way.

AND THEN HERE COMES THE CHIBIS AKA PLATELETS!

It's so cute that the platelets are illustrated as chibis. HUHUHU. My heart is exploding with kawaii feels.

Anyway, the road was closed because the platelets are working on a construction. HEY! THAT'S CHILD EMPLOYMENT! THAT'S NOT ALLOWED!

Huhuhu, but the bouncing litle girl looks so focused on her job, so okay. [But still! Child employment is illegal!]

Curse those delivery people AKA RBCs who left the Calcium ions on the road!

ARIGATOU GUZAIMASU, MAIN CHARACTERS, FOR UNLOADING THE CALCIUM IONS!!! <3 <3

Then, our main characters continues on their path towards the lungs. Mr. Main WBC's receptor kept on acting up, so they concluded that it was just malfunctioning.

Another set of cells were introduced through the Helper T Commander News: the Helper T Cells!

They announce the presence of Pneumococcus in the system, but they told the other cells not to worry too much since Lymphocyte cells were being mobilized.

Killer T cells are relatives of White Blood Cells, so they also exterminate foreign substances.

Then this certain Killer T cell tells Ms. Main RBC that she seemed so nonchalant while there was a Pneumococcus on the run. Mr. Main WBC defends her, saying that she might just didn't know that Pneumococci are alpha-hemolytic cells that targets RBCs because of their nutrients. Mr. Main WBC told Ms. Main RBC that she was just being scared.

They now arrive to the lungs.

They bid each other goodbye since Ms. Main RBC arrived on her destination safely...

Then, Mr. Main WBC noticed that his receptor stopped vibrating, which means that the bacterium was already far away from him. Hmmm.

Killer T Cells and Neutrophils are now mobilized to exterminate the bacteria, while Ms. Main RBC was searching for the capilliary that ordered from her. Amidst her panic, a senpai suddenly appears! THANK GOODNESS!

Senpai helps Ms. Main RBC in finding her capilliary.

She arrives at her right capilliary, then her box of Carbon dioxide suddenly rumbled, and the Pneumococcus came out!

Ms. Main RBC decided to run but her co-RBCs are walking towards her capilliaries so she closes the door instead. Was she trying to be a hero??

THEN OF COURSE, OUR HERO FOR THE DAY COMES AGAIN!!!

Thank goodness for their ability to migrate. Wew!

He decoded that his receptor was vibrating non-stop because the Pneumococcus was with Ms. Main RBC all this time. Thus, he decided to search for Ms. Main RBC, which led him to the bacterium! WBCs retained their nucleus so they are way smarter than RBCs!!!!

The bacterium then started to attack RBCs that carried cutrients, however, Mr. Main WBC was fast!

However, the bacterium produced a more powerful capsule that acts like his shield! Mr. Main WBC revealed that he had no chance in close combat. HUHUHU. SADT.

But Mr. Main WBC still fought him! He is so C O O L.

Then, they led the bacterium towards a machine that captured it. Then, Mr. Main WBC bought tea while teasing the bacterium. He's quite savage, you know.

Upon realizing that Ms. Main RBC got bruised, he offered to buy her a drink -- a tea. HEHE. M O V E S.

Then, the bacterium was ejected through the bronchial tubes. YES!

Mr. Main WBC bids goodbye to the bacterium. Then decided to go back to work. BUT, our lovely Ms. Main RBC called out to him and shyly asked if they will ever meet again. Sadly, Mr. Main WBC said that they will probably not since there are far too many Neutrophils. Ms. Main RBC agrees by saying that there are more RBCs than WBCs. THAT IS SO SAD, but I don't believe that that will be the last time you'll meet. Duh.

But Mr. Main WBC said that since they belong to the same world, they might cross each other's paths once again someday.

[END]

SO THAT'S IT FOR EPISODE 1! It was an amazing episode that left me wanting for more. And it fascinated me so much since the references were quite accurate and creative. As a person who is involved in the biological field, this is something that I would definitely recommend to others! And although Ms. Main RBC is quite the blockhead, I found her adorable and funny. Haha! Still, I admire Mr. Main WBC coz he's a real hero. Hahahaha! But more than others, PLATELETS WILL DEFINITELY MAKE THIS ANIME GO BIG!!!!!!!!!!!

So, remember to take care of yourself as your cells work non-stop for you! <3 <3 <3

AND WATCH THE SHOW NUMEROUSLY COZ IT’S FREAKING WORTH YOUR TIME. YAAAAS!

See you again!

[mysticdragon3md3]

JJK ep6-13

My reactions while watching Jujutsu Kaisen ep 6-13.  Please ignore my idiocy. This is more for my own fandom memories. . . .

6:49 PM 12/20/2020

Jujutsu Kaisen ep6

Haaaaaahhhhh~  Crunchyroll crashed at the beginning of the first commercial break.  Now I remmeber.  I decided to stop watching thru Firestick and reconnect my laptop to my Tv.  

6:53 PM 12/20/2020

Let's try this again.  

I forgot how great this animation was in this series.  I should have paid attention to studio MAPPA before Yuri on Ice.

"rotten mikan"?  

7:18 PM 12/20/2020

The great thing about watching on my laptop instead of Amazon Firestick, is that I can rewind and pause when I need to get food, and I don't have to worry about the Firestick crashing Crunchyroll.  ;u;  

Oh now...Fushiguro is talking to that guys' mom... ;o;

Y'know, everyone keeps describing Fushiguro as "cold", but he's REALLY nice.  A LOT.  

Wait.  She doesn' thave a PE uniform?

Oh, that's cool.  The other freshmen need someone good at close combat, and Yuuji is good at it.  

Oh no...!  SUNSHINE SMILE!!!!  MY HEART...!!!!!!!!!!!!!  GODDAMNIT!...

"I couldn't save anyone...I want to become strong."  Endearing shonen protags!!!!  ;U;!!!!!!

This paper silhouette of Yuuji is hilarious.  Which is really odd, becasue just the other week, I was complaining and complaining about how KNY's drawn-out humor got on my nerves.  Yet this joke has been going on for a while, and it wasn't annoying.  O_o?  

Wow.  So many references!  ^O^  Spirit Gun, Bankai, Rasengan,...LOL  

Gojou-sensei says he's not suited to being a teacher, but he's good at being encouraging and focusing students on what they need to study.  

"Negative emotions are the source of Cursed Energy."  Well, nice to get confirmation on that other episode's implied world-building.

I really like so far how this movie-watching training is about practical, mundane emotional control.  I always liked magic systems that alluded to real life emotional experience, and just added some "supernatural", but kept the way emotions work in reality.

Also, I like how often Yuuji does something foolish or silly, and Gojou not only goes along with it, but often also agrees.  In so many other past series, it would be an excuse to chastise the silly protagonist for some "comedy".  You know the routine.  They go back and forth arguing...One gets insulted or angry at the other's lack of sympathy, the other either gets angry that they're getting yelled at for the other's incompetence, or they're stoically dismissive and then the protag gets insulted at that lack of respect, or the protag tries to justify their foolish actions as reasonable, then the other character argues with them about that,...blah blah blah.  Gojo getting along so well with Yuuji is so incredibly refreshing, you don't understand.  

7:44 PM 12/20/2020

I'll save ep7 for later.  Watching anime takes so much effort when I keep wanting to write reactions AND eat at the same time I'm reading subtitles.  Maybe if my eyes were as fast as they used to be...Ah well.   . . . 10:28 PM 12/20/2020

JUJUTSU KAISEN Episode 7 – Assault

I thought this guy got warned not to fight Gojou head-on?  No, wait.  It was just to seal him vs killing him.  Is he ready to seal Gojou?

Gojou's asking this guy to hold up his hand, while he's drawn all cartoony...  This series' humor---!  LOL  ^O^

That is CLEARLY LOTR...  How is this series getting away so many references!  lol

Gojou is really consideratee, compared to a lot of past mentor characters.  I always appreciate compassionate characters.  ^-^  If this series keeps slipping these traits into most of it's characters, I'm going to really love this series even more than I already am starting to.  ^^;  

"New Humanity"?  Is that what Curses think they are?  Talking like it's superior?  But if they're made up of primarily or only negative emotions/energies/Curses, then they have a limited spiritual/experiential range.  That's stagnancy and evolutionarily inferior.  This series is more and more sounding like my Personal Myth's magic system.  lol  And if they start talking about Domains cancelling each other out by one overtaking the same space with its own energy density...Well, this series may be more in sync with my type of thinking than I realized.  ^^;

He can still interrogat Jougo after decapitating him?  Did they establish that Curses can still function a little after being torn up?  Or am I remembering Demon Slayer Kimetsu no Yaiba instead?  

Well, I guess that guy is a former student.  

Flower attack and they're both cartoony again.  LOL  This freaking show and it's humor blended into the tense scenes!  ^O^  ...WAit a sec.  How the hell did MAPPA find a director that could so seamlessly blend all that?!  ...Well, it's anime and anime ahs been doing that blending of tones for years, so why is this so surprising to me?  I guess the contrast is a lot more stark.  And yet, it's not jarring AT ALL!  O.O!  

I like that the attack spell was to take away their will to fight.  Usually, I've only seen that concept with humor instead of a peaceful setting.  It's interesting.  

Suddenly it's classroom ettiquite. These dorks!!!!!!!  ^O^  I love them so much already!  LOL

Halloween?  Are they going to explain why sealing Gojou on Halloween is advantageous?  I love Halloween mythology.  

Wow, this omake has a LOT of animation!  O.o . . .

3:43 AM 12/22/2020

JUJUTSU KAISEN Episode 8 – Boredom

I skipped watching this earlier because I thougth I coudlnt' eat and write reactions simultaneously.  But that just made me not watch anime all day.  ;_;  So I'm going to eat while I watch again.  

Odd they're going for a tournament arc when I thought fans were getting tired of it.  But I guess it's only some anime critics.  

Even stranger that fellow students are being set up as antagonists, when there's already such a strong threat established outside of their comrades.  But I guess it's to futher establish the "higher ups" are corrupt and more of a problem than Curses.  

Okkotsu's place?  Was that the person Fushiguro implied died with him on a mission but wasn't in the same year?

I guess not.  

"Boring tastes in women"????  What if someone says they like a feature and in Aoi's opinion that's a "boring" trait but in that person's opinion, it's a great trait?  I can't believe this guy recognnizes it's ok to like guys instead---he'll understand someone else's differing opinion on that level, but not in how subjective a trait can be valued.  -.-;  Well, "ridiculous character introduction" achieved.  

"Unshakable character"  is a good answer.  

See?  What'd I tell you.  Subjective perception.

I'm starting to like Nobara.  She deciphered Maki's weakness already an just started insulted it.  lol  Not even bothering for a physical attack.  

"I panda.  I no understand human speech."  lol

Interesting how Renin makes sure to insult both herself and her sister instead of just insulting her sister.  

Is it weird I like Nobara even more because she's seriously choking Maki?  Naw.  Must be my pet peeve against bullies making me really want to see Maki suffer.  

Liking Nobara more, seeing how calmly she takes these new antagonists.  

4:04 AM 12/22/2020

Crunchyroll is buffering.  ugh.  I hope it doesn't crash.  I'm watching thru my laptop and everything, so it shouldn't crash like the Amazon Firestick.  ;o;

4:14 AM 12/22/2020

Ok. Looks like Crunchyroll froze.  Finsihed an entire YouTube vid, waiting. I'm going to reset the episode then.  ~_~;

4:15 AM 12/22/2020

Oh wait.  It's working.  ---No, wait.  Buffering again.  Ugh.  It's so hard to watch this series!  Lucky I like it more than Demon Slayer KNY.  Makes watching worth the buffering/crashing.  But Yuuji hasn't been in this ep so far, and it's trying my patience without him.  

4:17 AM 12/22/2020

omg.  It unbuffered for only one second.  o__o;;;;;;;

4:19 AM 12/22/2020

Refreshing the page.  

There's stil buffering, even after reloading the ep.  Ugh.  I'm tired of this.  I can try to watch this ep later.  I'm going to watch YouTube.  

5:28 AM 12/22/2020  

I kinda miss my other fandoms.  Persona 5, FE3H,...Much simpler, or rather relationships between characters felt less vitriolic, even when they disagreed.  Even Akechi got dealt with and eventually taken off screen permamently.  I didn't have to spend (much) time with characters I hated.  At least those series didn't have bullies.  Bullies reallly tick me off.  Which again, is weird pet peeve for me to have since I've never been bullied before.  But certainly makes sense in terms of my depression.  How can people go out of their way to make life miserable for others, when life is already miserable on it's own? I can't forgive that Malice.

These so-called classmates from the Kyoto school don't even know what True Strength is, if they're wasting their time bullying their underclassman or any comrades in general, instead of focusing on fighting Curses.  No wonder the number of Curse-related deaths is so high.  

Ugh.  I need to get past this episode soon, before I get soured on this series and drop it, despite its excellent protagonist, like HeroAca.  There are enough horrible things/people in real life.  Why would I put up with fictional people who aren't a joy to be around, in any way?   . . .  

8:41 AM 12/23/2020

Jujutsu Kaisen ep8

AND CRUNCHYROLL JUST CRASHED AGAIN!  LOL

I was just trying to re-watch ep8, even that first half that I didn't like, and Firestick crashed again.  I thought it'd be ok since it was the first thing I had the Firestick do this morning, but dang.  

Anyway, I just wanted to reiterate my annoyance with Todou Aoi.  Just because he thinks "tall" and "big ass" are interesting traits and that "taste in women" supposedly reflects an interesting person, doesn't mean those are objective assessments of those traits.  There are no objective assessments of sexually appealing triats!  A trait that could be "boring" to Todou could mean everything interesting to someone else!  What a jerk.  If he wants to fight so badly, he should stop hiding behind excuses and come out and fight.  Idiot.  

And the worst thing is that ridiculous antagonist characters like this are probably going to turn out to be really buddy buddy with a "silly protag" like Yuuji.  Goddamnit.  ~_~;;;; . . . 12/25/2020 ..During breakfast, once again tried to finish Jujutsu Kaisen ep8, but Crunchyroll crashed again on Amazon Firestick.  The other day, Crunchyroll crashed on my laptop too, so I didn't have much hope for watching thru my laptop, which is why I bothered watching thru the Firestick/TV in the first place.  It crashed only after the first few minutes; not even reaching the mid-episode commercial break.   ..Got fed up an watched Jujutsu Kaisen ep8 on YouTube, but it was an edited version that skipped every few seconds.   . . . 11:45 AM 12/26/2020

Jujutsu Kaisen ep8

During breakfast today, I completely gave up on trying to watch on Crunchyroll.  It's crashed on me too many times on Amazon Firestick/TV and too many times on my laptop.  So I just straight up went for the YouTube bootlegs.  I didn't even try this time.  Because I've tried to watch this episode 8 at least 5 times by now, and I'd like to finish it before Nendoroid Fushiguro's preorder window closes, so I can decide if I should preorder him or not!  How many times do I have to watch this first half of ep8?!?!  And it's full of bullies, no less!  Bullies are my pet peeve!  I've dropped frickin BNHA because of just ONE reoccurring bully character, and the first half of JJK ep 8 has TWO.  So no, I don't want to keep watching the fist half of JJK ep8 over and over and over again!  

Miwa was cute and the gag about her being a Gojou fangirl was funny.  

But it made me stop and wonder why this episode had 2 fanboys/fangirls:  Todou Aoi and Miwa.  What are they trying to say?  Since the traditionalist Kyoto school leader was visiting, is it a statement against blindly following something?  

Another thing discussed in this episode that struck me was the very non-traditionalist, antagonistic towards "the olds" way that Gojou spoke.  It clashed against a lot of the popular Shonen series lately that have background messages about "working hard", "simply accepting things", unquestioning,...and something else I can't quite rmember.  One Punch Man, Demon Slayer Kimetsu no Yaiba, and maybe even Boku no Hero Academia  I'll have to watch the 2nd half of this ep again to solidify this thought.  But I did notice something in this episode that made Jujutsu Kaisen seem more counter-culture than a lot of the other popular Shonen series I've seen in recent years.  

Also, what's up with that one month future time skip, only to go back to the present to return to Miwa getting her photo with Gojou?  What?  What was wrong with just showing the sequences chronologically?  The curiosity is going to drive me nuts if I dont' stop thinking about it.  lol  

I also really liked Nobara's cute head lean onto Zenin Maki when she realized how much she respected her.  I'm sorry, but I'm always weak for kuudere girls unconsciously making all the other girls fall for them.  ^.~   . . . 1:59 PM 12/27/2020

Jujutsu Kaisen ep9

I"m not going to type so many reactions, until maybe after the ep is over, because I'm going to focus on eating instead.  Hopefully, I'll remember all the points I reacted to.

2:29 PM 12/27/2020

Episode over.  Let's see what I remember.  

I liked how in depth it portrayed how real life emotions and grudges can fester until they become these supernatural curses.  That first part of the ep, just about Yoshino's supressed anger, getting bullied, feeling harassed, etc. got a whole lot more screentime than most other demon-hunter or yokai series. (Maybe it's just because he's going to become a kind of major character, seeing as he gets to be in the opening theme sequence.) Usually that type of emotional backstory to explain supernatural phenomenon, does get a poignant exposition, but even though it's effective, it's often pretty quick. (Though, I am referring to the more frequent one-shot characters of each supernatural escapade.) Especially in action demon-hunter series, like Ushio & Tora.  Still emotionally effective, but very short screentime.  But this guy, Yoshino's bullying scene goes on, intercuts with daily slights, for that chaotic feeling of compiling grudges everyday, and then he gets onscreen monologues of his specific thoughts while getting beat up.  It's all very viceral and I apprecate that.  I mentioned before how I like that Jujutsu Kaisen seems to portray real emotions to explain its magic system, instead of just making up a fake mystical power source.  I mean, I'm usually fine with that type of purely imaginary magic system that has only vague explainations (in real life emotions), but JJK feels like it more directly translates grudges into Curses/magic and that feels interestingly refreshing.  

This scene with Yuuji and Gojou introducing Nanami was so funny, I was instantly laughing out loud, several times.  I'm so glad I ended up preordering Gojou's Nendoroid and not just Yuuji's.  lol  

I love how whenever Nanami says he doesn't care, the direction returns to the exact same angle, frame, etc.  Really makes the joke hit each time.  LOL  

But again, like I was writing earlier about my growing suspicion that a lot of current popular Shonen series seem to fetishize hard work (without considering people disadvantaged by the same systems) and even sometimes outright parodying people who expect hand-outs (like One Punch Man)---(though I will append that BNHA does have a character like Shinso that demonstrates how the system is stacked vs people no matter how hard they could work)---It may be just my misunderstanding, but I feel like JJK seems to criticize the system, in contrast. I suspect JJK may be more counter-culture than other popular Shonen series right now.  While checking out other current series like OPM, Demon Slayers KNY, and BNHA, I often run into a moment that makes me uneasy in how eagerly a protagonist throws themselves into accepting the abuses of a system, instead of criticizing the system, and how "heroic" that unquestioning or submissiveness is portrayed.  In contrast, Gojou straight-up explained he doesn't believe in the Jujutsu community's current authority systems.  But now we also have Nanami here pointing out that no matter which system you submit yourself to (whether Jujutsu sorcery or office work), it doesn't matter.  Nothing matters...towards happiness or fulfillment, anyway.  Therefore, he explicitly says that he doesn't put excess effort into anything.  But at the same time, he states that he agrees with Gojou about the current system of Jujutsu authority to be wrong.  I'm sure there was a time when themes of fetishizing hard work, without question, worked for me, but I've gotten too old and seen how the system is stacked against people even when they work hard, and how blind followers of the system fetishize "hard work" as an excuse to not show compassion towards others.  It seems especially important in recent years.  

I liked that Nanami mentioned that explaining your technique can actually make it stronger.  It's an idea I liked to play with but  didn't used much until Persona 5.  The idea that the reality people build in their heads can be influenced by external forces.  It's why in Kingdom Hearts II, just thinking about Maleficent, remembering her, resurrected her.  Everyone's thoughts about her, together combined, adding energy for whatever traces of her to finish manifesting.  It's like how some entities come into existence, simply by enough people sharing the same thought or pouring energies into the same beliefs/images.  Some yokai series use this idea to explain why some entities manifest out of prevaent thoughts/emotions that happen in the same place or centered around a specific object.  It's nice to see JJK also use this idea in both to explain Curses that manifest out of fears people have had for centuries about the mountains/forests/ocean, and also to reinforce a magic attack.  Because seeing this technique used in a magic system for the purposes of combat, and not just exposition to explain an entity, doesn't appear often.  (Until Persona 5).  

Oh, and I REALLY LOVE the art style/animation on Yuuji's Divergent Fist.  *U*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Interesting that they're starting to alreay discuss the concept of humans turning into Curses.  But I guess it's more a display of "some villain's horrifying technique", than the climactic change that a lot of other series use this trope for.  ...I love this trope, by the way.  Just villainizing antagonists as "monsters" always feels flimsy to me, so I like plot reveals about "the random enemies you've been fighting all this time are actually human victims transformed into monsters".  Madoka Magica, Claymore, Kamen Rider Heisei phase 2, Bleach, Demon Slayer Kimetsu no Yaiba, etc.  But most of all, I love how this trope forces protagonists to use more empathy, since my favorite ideal is "Compassion as the ultimate True Strength".  

That omake---!  LOL  I really thought this was a flashback about Gojou asking Nanami to help with Yuuji, like he mentioned during the episode.  But it turned out to just be a penis joke!  LOL!!!!!!!!!!  I laughed out loud, "WHAT?!"   . . . 2:26 AM 12/28/2020

Jujutsu Kaisen ep10

Isn't Yuuji going to be sent to infiltrate Yoshino's school.  I hope he can protect them.  

This poor kid Yoshino.  Never been validated before.  He has to hear that it's ok for him to go vs his ideal of Indifference by hating people.  

The body came before the soul.  On this planet, anyway.  And at the very beginning.  Of course now, there's been so much history and accumulation and entities evovled on Earth that there can be entities that begin as souls first and maybe they stay that way or maybe they get souls.  But I think you'd have to go to a whole other star system to find a species that was first on their "planet" that evolved as energy/souls first.  But I'd think most of those species actually started in nebulae than planets.  ..Unelss we're talking about gaseous planets.  

omg I can't believe Yuuji pants'ed that teacher.  It's true that dragging Yoshino along with him woudl've been more expected.  I'm glad the writing called that out.  

Can Yuuji see negative energy on people better now?  Can he see how much Yoshino hates that teacher?  Or was he just reading his expression?  

Interesting that Mahito is distinguishing between protecting the body vs protecting the soul and reinforcing this idea about needing to be aware of one's own soul in order to protect it.  

Aw.  Episode over already?  ;o;  This series is good, but I am trying to catch up, since there are spoilers for this series all over social media and I already ran into a few of them.  

What the hell is this omake.  Why is Nobara's uniform being worn by Panda and Inumaki...And Gojou---Actually Gojo makes sense.  I get the feeling he'll do anything for a laugh sometimes.  lol   . . . 8:38 PM 2/19/2021

Jujutsu Kaisen ep11

Started Jujutsu Kaisen ep11 around 8:10pm.  

8:41 PM 2/19/2021  Just finished.  Hm.  2 sets of previews.  I wonder why.

I finally managed to watch anime again.  ;_;  For many years now, I've had this problem where I can't get myself to watch anime, becaus eI know it's so good and I know it'll be totally engrossing and distracting, that I get preemptively guilty for being so unproductive.  I mean, a lot of times, I can't even multitask _eating_ during anime, because I can't read subtitles as fast as I used to.  So I haven't really watche anime on a regular basis in a long time.  Even though I know I love it.  I guess this is why a lot of my recent fandoms have been videogames instead of anime series.  which I guess doesn't make sense, considering games take as much or more time than watching a series.  Anxiety is wierd.)  There's the inability to multitask, there's pausing every few minutes to write reactions, there's the inevitable daydreaming I have whenever I watch something that's SOOO good that it demands my mental interaction, and if I manage to not write while watching, then there's writing reactions after the episode.  watching anime just takes a lot of time out of me.  I wish I wasn't afraid of that.  Because I'll lose time, wasted on YouTube instead, and a lot of that is just "empty calories" compared to anime watching.  Anyway, I finally managed to watch anime without sitting at my computer, pausing to write reactions at every few minutes.  Finally!  I was searching for a YouTube vid to watch, and everything I clicked was so uninteresting, that I ask myself, "why arn't I watching anime?"  If I wanted something interesting, then go watch anime!"  

Since I'm writing my reactions AFTER watching the episode and I have a very bad memory in general, these are by no means all my reactions:

Sometimes I get confused when Mahito's dialogue slips in some kind of exposition thing about how the magic system in this series works.  Like, a soul's connection to its vessel, effecting the shape of a body.  Yeah, that makes sense, but then he also talks about the reverse not being true---and I'm like, "No, both have to be true, otherwise it doesn't make sense.  I watched FF7AC; there was logic behin Kadaj not being able to house Sephiroth until his body changed to be able to fit Sephiroth.  But psychosomatic effect is a thing that exists in the real world."  Much more than Mahito torturing/experimenting on random people, I was more perplexed by him not recogizing the body/spirit connection not going both ways.  Or like in this episode, when he explained something about his surprise that he really could do something with the shape of his soul.  Didn't he already know he could do that?  But then later in this episode Nanami's internal monologue explained that Mahito must be a new entity and is essentially just a kid playing around, still trying to figure their powers out.  Makes sense.  

Not that I don't understand this magic system, but there seems to be a funamental work around on its restrictions.  Like, Curses/negative energies can't be the only strong magics in a magic system that translates emotions into energy/magic.  Series after series, we see magic based on negative emotions as being outclassed by magic based on positive emotions.  I keep expecting that to be the big twist in Jujutsu Kaisen.  Because a magic system based solely on negative emotions seems strangely restricted.    

Yuuji continues to prove himself to be really sweet an IMMEDIATELY smile-inducing.  It was really nice to see him getting along so fast with Junpei Yoshino.

I was worried about Yoshino and his mom being on bad terms, because of all his repressed anger asides.  I was afraid that maybe she used to abuse him with cigarettes and maybe that was why he had made her promise not to smoke around him.  I can't believe I had _completely forgotten_ that the bullies burned Yoshino's face with cigarettes.  So I was relieved when Yoshino admitted to Yuuji that his mom was nice.  Too bad she immediately was murdered. I feel like Mahito did it; just another experiment.  In the flashback, it was really surprising to see a Japanese mom being ok that Yoshino take time away from school for his mental health, and being so supportive about it.  This manga-ka sure knows how to portray characters as uickly endearing (except Nobara).  

I liked that Yuuji's explaination for his reluctance to kill felt a little more nuanced that the usual answers I hear protagonists give to that uestion.  The line (Yoshino) repeated from Yuuji's monologue was about "being afraid of killing tainting one's soul".  But I preferred how Yuuji explained it before that line.  Something about the temptation of having killing as an option in your arsenal, until it becomes too commonplace, and you lose a sense of taking lives as having any meaning, also losing the sense that lives have value (in preserving or appreciating).  

9:56 PM 2/19/2021

well, that's all I remember so far. . . .

5:45 PM 2/21/2021

Jujutsu Kaisen ep12

6:12 PM 2/21/2021

So the good news is that I actually got myself to watch anime while eating---guilty about distracted unproductivity be damned.  The bad news is that the episode was so good that I stopped eating.  Thsi is my first meal of the day so I really do need to eat.  But I"m not the type of person who can eat popcorn while watching movies.  when I watch something, I give it my full attention.  I don't eat while I'm concentrating.  

Ok.  I guess I should say something about how odd this omake is.  o.o?  Usually you'd have a chibi cameo of a known character.  But I guess we're just getting metaphor instead...or just nonsense.  ^.^;  

Since I avoided sitting at my computer while watching, I'll have to retroactively write reactions again.  

i really loved that this series just had our protagonist TALK to the antagonist, get junpei's story, his reasons for attacking the school, sympathize with him, solve the conflict by promising to help him.  Any other past Shonen series would have had them just fight and then later, after the protag kills the antagonist, he'll learn the "tragic truth" and then carry that regret into his next battles.  I'm glad thee genre is evolving past that.  Not that I don't like that old style---hell, I love that vanilla Persona 5 killed Akechi, instead of redeeming him like P5R---but it's nice to have a variety in the genre.  And Yuuji has proven himself to be a highly sympathetic personality, and curbing genre tropes to accomodate his best qality is really nice.  ;u;  in fact, a lot of the top series in modern Shonen have highly empathetic, visibly emotional, and vulnerable protagonists:  Demon Slayer Kimetsu No Yaiba's Tanjiro, Boq no Hero Academia's Midoriya, and now Jujutsu Kaisen's Yuuji Itadori.

I had been considering for a while the idea that people in this series' would coul be turning other people into Curses on purpose.  not just the soul-shape transfigurations that Mahito is doing.  I mean like, manipulating people to be so full of negative emotios that they become a Curse.  Like, is that how Suqna became a Curse?  It's interesting to see this episode kind of foreshadow that idea through Mahito's monologues explaining his manipulations of Junpei.  

I'll admit it.  As a Kingdom Hearts fan, when Junpei was repeating what Mahito taught him about hearts not really existing, all I could think of was Xehanort lying about that to Organization XIII, in order to manipulate them.  ^.^;  

I will say it's really wierd to watch this series act like being able to influence others' souls and being aware of one's soul energy, is a novelty or a rare high level skill...after watching so many series in my life, where that was basic.  Like, in Claymore, that's pretty much HALF of what they do!  There's even a warrior Galatea who is DEFINED by manipulating other's energies.  And I don't mean Jujutsu Kaisen has a bad magic system.  it's really exciting that it's kneecapped its protagonists so much so the audience can anticipate how far they're ascend.  Instituting harsh level, restricting magic system rules, to establish the characters' growth throughout tackling the conflicts of the series' battles, is something I'd wish videogame seqels would do instead of just taking away the protagonists powers.  Don't make the protag start at zero just to give them an up to go to!  Make the system/environment more difficult, to match their increasing power level!  So I'm not frustrated at Jujutsu Kaisen doing this.  But it is strange when your brain is buzzing with, "well, why don't they just do this?" after having watche so many other series' solutions to similar conflicts.  Like, if this was Claymore, any warrior with enough training woul have been able to sync up with Junpei's soul energy and reform him into his body's original shape.  So it feels very odd to be in the POV of a protagonist like Yuuji who doesn't even realize that's a thing that's possible, or at least seems possible within this world's rules.  I mean, Mahito is doing it.  But Yuuji is still a novice student, so he gets a pass; he doesn't become a frustrating protag to follow.  But this series does give the impression that Mahito's ability to transfigure people's souls/bodies is like a power specific to him.  I wonder if his character is just establishing this techniqe into this world's magic system or if it really is just Mahito.  Because so far, it feels like only Mahito.  Only time will tell if Mahito was just an establishing point for this function of this magic system.  

Also, Yuuji, don't rely on that jerk, Sukuna.  lol   . . . 6:24 PM 3/29/2021

Jujutsu Kaisen ep13

Let's see if Crunchyroll will finally let me watch this series.  Well, it's not crashing atthe first commercial before the episdoe starts.  That's a good sign.  

6:32 PM 3/29/2021

Well, look at that. Crunchyroll didn't crash at the 2nd commercial break, right before the opening theme.

6:39 PM 3/29/2021

LOL  Yuuji totally just punched through that Domain?  LOL!  

Whatever potential Fushiguro has that Sukuna is interested in, the story is certainly setting this up this foreshadowing early.  

It's really has been a while since I watched this series. I can't remember where Yuuji got those holes in his back.  

Love these little resolution talks after a big fight in a story.  Impressed that Nanami sidestepped actually answering the philosophy of Yuuji's question and just commented that Yuuji saved him and can save others.  It's that type of good writing I can't do, that always makes my writing get bogged down.  Like in Kingdom Hearts II when Xehanort was asking all these philosophical questions and Riku got caught up in answering them, but Sora had the wisdom to see that the whole line of questioning was faulty or a distraction to begin with.  

Playing a vocal song during the last scene?  Makes it feel like a season finale.  Well, it is ep13, so I guess it's a halfway mark for the season.  

6:52 PM 3/29/2021

I'd had to stop watching when Crunchyroll is actually working well for me right now.  But I've got other stuff to do.  ;o;

Ha!  You were going to skip the previews!  I forgot this series has an omake segment after the ending theme!  

So if Yuuji taught Fushiguro to make meatball...Oh yeah, they think he's dead.  

6:55 PM 3/29/2021

How odd.  Crunchyroll automatically brought me back to teh episode selection screen intead of autoplaying to ep14.  I appreciate it.  But I wonder why that happened.  Is it part of Crunchyroll crashing and glitching on me all the time?  Or did they change their UI?  

[peachiejihoonie]

park woojin - demigod!au; hermes

when he was younger, he was a master at pick pocketing 

in middle school, he wouldn’t stand up for kid being bullied but rather go to the bully and pick pocket back the lunch money 

he wouldn’t really hand back to them, he’d just put it on their desk, underneath their pencil bag or inside it

constantly transferred schools too, which meant constant new encounters, and he hated it 

he was sick of change, he just wanted something permanent

one friend, one home, one school, one setting 

he was always alone since he just kept leaving 

so when he made it to camp half blood, he was shook 

he wasn’t used to the atmosphere but he was immediately claimed by hermes 

he was quickly engulfed by a crowd, his siblings and they were are all so jolly, happy, snarky but also welcoming 

at first he was really reserved and shy but when head counselor taehyun introduced him to everyone, he was overjoyed 

overtime he came out his shell 

he was the master mind of plastic wrapping all the chariots together

is known for being very mischievous and silly 

very bro

is the type to blame it on someone else 

works half of time cause he’s good at playing innocent

“woojin it was you wasn’t it”

“what? me? why would i ever? no way!!!”

honestly, he does it for shits and giggles and never has intentions to ever hurt or anger someone

he’s really good at hand to hand combat (aka flipping people) 

he carries around a simple celestial bronze knife but rarely uses it 

is really talented 

raps and dances he’s pretty cool my dude

the apollo cabin doesn’t really see him as all that talented though they’re to busy thinking they’re better than everyone else 

you on the other hand, were constantly getting kicked out of schools because of your “problematic” behavior

it wasn’t your fault that people always listened to whatever you said

even if you had asked to cut in lines, get a’s or to skip class, it’s their fault for listening to you

at camp half blood, you were known to be quite fiery 

it was hard for anyone to believe you were an aphrodite child honestly 

you stand for what u believe in, you’re straight forward, and you have no problem with casting permanent make up on anyone 

one time, at the dining hall, someone tried to mess with your sibling’s food by placing a magnetic force around it so the food can never sit on the plate 

you immediately flung around to the giggling hermes cabin 

and this time woojin was out of the loop he doesn’t commit such petty pranks uhm hello??

“okay who did it?” you glared at all of them, honestly this happens everyday and normally you’d ignore it but honestly it was gettin out of hand 

“WOOJIN!” a hermes cabin kid screamed 

and everyone snickered 

he’s just there with a piece of bread of his mouth, puppy dog eyes, lost, looking up you 

“huh?” 

and you glared at the one who yelled his name and you casted the permanent make up on him and everyone else who laughed got ugly outfits with neon colors 

and all the other tables are doing obnoxious ‘OOoooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOooooooOOoOOH shiTTTTTT”  

the hermes kids now think you have a bratty princess attitude

but did you care????????

no 

and the next time woojin sees you, he kinda wavers around you, and you don’t recognize him at first

as you’re setting up your weapons for capture the flag (i love ctp okay im sorry if your’e sick of it omg) he just opens his mouth 

“sorry about my brothers and sisters yesterday…” 

at first you were like ??? oooOOOOHHH 

“hahahahHAHAHA no its no probleM!!” 

are you nervous ?? is he that cute ?? is it just me omg

he’s a little flustered, mainly cause he just feels bad 

may or may not have avoided playing pranks on you or just the entire aphordite cabin tbh 

he was gonna say something again but chiron calls for the teams to shake hands and you two are on different teams 

and so you had the found the flag, but your back up was taking forever

no one was on guard though, and the flag was just out and exposed in the creek

you wanted to go for it, seriously, your blood was chasing through your veins, it was getting hard to hold your back you impulsiveness. 

and suddenly there was cheering behind you 

and when you walked out of your hiding spot, you saw woojin being thrown in the air,

your team flag in his hand 

and you were chill, i mean it wasn’t the first time you lost

but what really bugged you was when hermes cabin wouldn’t stop reminding you 

this happened almost every time you lose 

and when you’re in greek history class, they were just at and you were trying so hard not to explode 

and just when you’re about to, woojin clears his through

“hyungs, please shut the fuck up, i’m trying to read here” 

everyone is shooketh

cause he isn’t that straight forward and he’s normally a witness rather an unpstander 

after class you thank him and he just shrugs it off like no big deal 

inside he’s all squishy and warm cause aw you thanked him ?? you thank people ??? 

and you’re blushy because aw he cared ?? 

and tbh you guys stay in this weird phase for a while 

very small talk, short glances

but nothing more

it was awkward for the both of you 

it was the first time to feel this warm in the inside 

you both knew there was something more there

there’s no way you two are just friends 

ya’ll both squishes for each other 

but you’re both convinced otherwise 

all of woojin’s siblings tell him to not for fall an aphordite kid 

they tried to convince him that he was just falling for your stupid but blessed love charms and looks

“they’re all heart breakers !! don’t know you know about their little game” 

yea, your cabin loved doing this point system thing 

each time they “won” a person, a point 

and whoever got the least amount of points got the shoes of shame 

you H A T E D it 

you’re cabin was trying to explain to you that you weren’t falling for some “disgusting, annoying dumb, hermes kid”

“no way !!! you have to date one of the hot apollo kids, or the ares kids, but cMON, not a hermes kid. don’t be silly!”

and it just makes you want woojin more

he started getting bolder though 

but hes still shy 

your little talks became conversations, you glances became eye contact 

then the conversations would last through the lunches and he would even walk you to your next activity or back to the cabin 

his eyes not only lingered but he would also flash his cute little canine at you or even make silly faces when chiron is teaching 

and you were complaining about your cabin with him one day during your shared free hour together 

“i just don’t understand them at times, i really don’t think i fit in that cabin a at all” 

“well i think you do”

you’re laughing as you look over at him but he aint laughin

“i think you fit in that cabin perfectly. you’re really genuine, kind to everyone but you’re definitely not a push over. you know that the inside personality is what is important, not the outside. everyone thinks that you’re just being mean, but i think it’s because you base your attitude on personality.” 

and at first his explanation doesn’t make sense

he thought he was being weird and he freaks out 

“oh my go-god,i-uh- i ig-ignore what i just said hah ha ha hahahah” he would utter out, redfaced and looking away 

“no please explain what you mean woojin” and you place your hand on his shoulder

“i-it’s just like how your siblings are with looks! not to say that they’re aLL vain!! i-i i mean li-like if they’re ‘ugly’ they would kin-kinda isolate them ya know?? and when they’re pretty they date them. you’re kinda the same, but with per-personality.”

you’re speechless and his eyes are glued to the grass 

“y-you just share beauty in a different way, that’s all, and i like that, a lot” he chuckles as he palms his neck nervously 

“t-thanks” you mumbled out and he’s grinning to himself cause you’re so cute

and the feelings are just floating in the air 

since he’s all shy and awkward and doesn’t know what to do

“i like you too” you smiled back 

and yall slowly and slowly become more comfortable 

you like watching him pick out the food you don’t like in your pasta

honestly he’s the cutest when he eats

his checks are puffed out and you can see the way he’s chewing and he’s just fluffy omg 

and he would catch you staring and have his confused mouse face 

how could you not want to feed him at that point 

but slowly he would start getting flirtier and flirtier 

he would run up to you and wrap his arms from behind 

omg imagine his cabin is so surprised and they cannot believe he swooped an aphordite child 

“brurhruhrhruhr you hella scored omg hooow???” 

“well i mean, i just told them i liked them ?? and they happened to like me back ??” and he’s blushing, lookin down and a small grin on his face

they all watch you both in amazed 

like you guys are laughing and smiling, arms linked, walking towards the mess hall and they’re just watching all wide eyed and jaws dropped 

“that’s so unfair” they’d all pout 

he secretly enjoys them being jealous

imagine him look all aggressive and hot while playing capture the flag 

you can’t even play properly ???? how can you function ???? 

like you’re suppose to be his back up but you’re so distracted 

you’re teammates know to never put you guys in the same team/group ever again

but he doesn’t realize you’re distracted by him,

he’s all sweaty and puppy like comin to you 

“babe are you sick ?? are you tired ??? you don’t look okay ..” 

“nO woojin i’m fine hahahha!!! don’t worry !!!” awkward laughter 

“ookay..” is still slightly worried 

the next day he comes by with cookies and he’s such a nervous mess cause omg your sibling opened the door 

ya’ll exposed af, all you’re siblings are watching the gesture 

and you slam the door on their face LOL 

“woojin what are you doing ??” 

“i was just worried, and i knew you liked jinyoung’s cookies so i got some for you cause you didn’t look well yesterday” and he’s all flustered 

one hand in the pocket, the other palming the back of his neck nervously 

he’s such a pup omg help the cutie out 

but all you could do is stutter a thanks out

your siblings on the other side are just giggling

jihoon, your half brother thinks you two are disgusting 

especially cause 2park is lyfe and you don’t in 2park

but overall, he’s very sweet and loving 

he maybe shy at times even though he’s wild with his siblings 

it’s just cause you make him nervous

you guys prove stereotypes wrong and people lOVE it 

i’m so sorry this took so long lmao, thanks 4 waiting  !!! esp the anon who asked for woojin a long long time ago

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #463

Top Ten Tweaks I Want to the Series X Experience

I got an Xbox Series X for Christmas. Well, more accurately, I got one on launch day, but for Festive Reasons it remained boxed up till Christmas. Anyway, since then, I’ve been able to play the sexiest of new Xboxes, plugged in to a moderately-fancy 4K TV for the first time too; this is my first proper taste of 4K gaming and certainly the first time I’ve ever played a game at 120fps (it was Star Wars: Squadrons, fact-fans!). So despite the dearth of exclusive content the “next-gen difference” has been very real for me.

I could go on about all the things I like about the console: how fast it is, how quiet, how genuinely aesthetically pleasing I find it when it’s sitting there on the floor, all hard angles and funky green holes (I do genuinely worry about my kids spilling apple juice into its vents however). Playing on the new Xbox is transformative in the sense that things just kinda work; it’s a smooth and painless experience navigating the dash, switching users, booting a game, etc. True, the fact that the dashboard itself is unchanged means it doesn’t jump out at you as being all-singing, all-dancing, but it’s like upgrading a phone or a PC within the same OS ecosystem; what you know, but better. Games look gorgeous in 4K, they run like butter, 120fps gaming is a treat, and HDR is transformative. However, there are a few areas where I feel improvement is needed, and that’s what I want to talk about today.

This post isn’t criticism; for the most part, these are work-in-progress areas of an always-evolving UI and general experience. Like I say, actually playing games on the thing is a joy, and its technical grunt can’t be denied (I’ve not encountered a single performance issue in Cyberpunk 2077, for example, although I have come across some amusing glitches, such as a character doing finger guns throughout an entire shootout, turning a tense combat experience into a scene from Spaced). But as we go forward, taking advantage of the power of the machine (and perhaps moving away from having to support the “old-gen” Xbox One family of consoles), here is a list of tweaks, improvements, and features I’d love to see added to the Series X/S down the road.

Manage Quick Resume: Quick Resume, when it works, is a marvel; jumping instantly to the last moment you were in a game, with virtually no loading. It feels responsive, it feels fast, it feels next gen. When it works. Understanding that there are some games where this isn’t supportable (live service games, for instance), there are too many games where it either doesn’t work right yet, or where it will spontaneously “forget” a Quick Resume. So I’d like it improved and refined. Plus, open too many games in the interim, and your Resume will likewise be “forgotten”. But how many? I dunno. I think it varies. So why can’t we see how many? Give us a Quick Resume button on the dash or in Settings, let’s see how much space is allocated to it, see what games are there, etc. Maybe a warning if one is about to be “pushed out”. Maybe we could pin a game, so it’s always in Quick Resume? Or maybe we could increase or decrease the SSD space allocated to it? Basically, it’s a terrific feature that needs streamlining.

Improved Achievements: back in the 360 era, Achievements were amazing. They really changed how I played games like Crackdown or Gears of War, and there was much friendly rivalry over Gamerscore. Since then, they’ve kinda been forgotten. Finding them now is actually a chore, and the navigation interface is almost non-existent; it’s like Microsoft don’t care. Meanwhile, Sony have overhauled their similar Trophy system, with meta-games and multiple kinds of rewards. Microsoft kinda tried this when the Xbox One launched, with time-limited “Challenges”, but it was a bit of a damp squib. However, they really need to improve Achievements. Give them their own tab on the Guide; make them really easy to view and filter, not just as a social thing, but as a reward all on their own. Use them to track game progress, give us loads of stats about each achievement! Let us pin them to our profile, or have a trophy cabinet of ones we’re most proud of. Make them relevant again, basically.

Improve the App: the Xbox app has had a lot of improvements and refinements recently, but it’s also lost a lot of functionality. There are now at least three Xbox apps anyway – a “normal” one, a Game Pass one, and one that lets you fiddle with Family settings. How about just one that does it all? View your game library, including Game Pass, and let you download and purchase games, as well as play them (I must say, the app is brilliant when it comes to cloud gaming – the touch control layout is really good too). Searching for Games on the Store but not being able to buy them feels a bit weird, and other functionality seems buried in menus. What do I want to do in an Xbox app? In order, probably view achievements, purchase and download games, and see what my friends are up to (oh, and cloud gaming, obvs). It seems weird to me that so much of this is obfuscated or impossible. I do like the ability to download games you don’t own, however (useful for pre-installing a game, especially a disc-based game), and I love the “Rewards” aspect of Game Pass; but it feels the most basic functionality is what’s missing.

Improved Guide Customisation: the Guide has improved a lot during the Xbox One’s lifetime, although I’d argue it’s still not quite the dashboard-in-miniature that you had with the Xbox 360. I like the fact that it’s now customisable, but I’d like it even more if that went further. Yes, some of this is “make it easier/better to view achievements,” but also I’d like to decide which features can be part of the Guide. Jump straight to Netflix, or a particular game? Have my Quick Resume management there? Game Pass? Oh, and make it easier to get into settings; it should be as few button presses as possible. I mean, if they essentially stuff Achievements, Games & Apps, the Store, and Settings in there, I’d be pretty happy.

Better use of Avatars: Avatars are a bit controversial I think; they’ve never been as loved as Nintendo’s Miis, and as time’s gone on their stock as only decreased. But they exist, so why not use them? It’s okay that we can get them as a sort of “live picture” when viewing a friend’s profile, but how about making it into a kind of interactive “room”, showing off Avatar Awards and with our top Achievements framed on the wall? And make more games like Joyride Turbo or A Kingdom for Keflings that make use of Avatars. MS could really do with some kind of party game, Nintendo-style, that incorporates their multiple franchises/characters, and lets you play as your Avatar. But to be honest the thing I think they should do the most is redesign them again. They’re a bit too uncanny valley at the moment; too much details but all smooth and bland, like a CG cartoon character from twenty years ago. Either allow us to make them more gnarled and grotesque like a Sea of Thieves character, or go entirely the other way and make them really stylised, like someone from Ooblets or Untitled Goose Game.

Managing Games from Dashboard: one of the things the PlayStation 5 does that sounds quite cool is the ability to jump to specific points in a game, straight from the dashboard. Whilst I don’t think it would be quite as useful, long-term, as Quick Resume, I do like the idea of “right-clicking” a game and saying “resume last checkpoint” or “go to multiplayer lobby”. At the very least I’d like the option to skip all the launch logos and go straight to the main menu. I’d also like the ability to tinker with aspects of the game right then and there; choose which elements to uninstall, say. This is sort of possible, but although a game like Gears 5 will ask you which bits to install (single-player or multiplayer components, for instance) you don’t appear to be able to uninstall separate sections, at least not from the dash. I’d like to see this implemented system-wide; imagine being able to choose exactly which games – and game modes – to install in Halo: The Master Chief Chronicles, for instance.

Customising the Home Screen: the Xbox isn’t really that customisable, which I think is a bit strange, because I spent a large part of my teens making Windows look really hideous with its vast suite of personalisation options. You can create “Groups” of games and apps, but I’d like it also if you could make your actual Home screen look more you. Instead of (or as well as) recent games, how about pinning one or two biggies? Maybe having folders that expand instead of scrolling down to other lists? Or being able to resize icons? Or how’s about we look up the list a couple of spaces and incorporate our Avatars a bit more, if we so choose?

Simplify Sign-In: I still miss the 360 controller’s little green quadrants; you always knew who you were. Nowadays, because the whole console is tied to a particular account, it can be hard keeping track if there are multiple users signed in, to the point where it’s possible to lose progress or accidentally kick a game from Quick Resume because you weren’t aware that – despite switching user – for some reason the controller was still assigned to someone else (I know it’s possible to sync a controller specifically to one profile but you shouldn’t have to rely on that). Some kind of system-level way of warning or asking who the user “is” – without changing a game’s status – would be nice, as would a permanent on-screen notification visible on the dash. Either that or rejig the controller and bring back the quadrants!

Track Game Usage: the Xbox sort of does this, but like Achievements it feels a bit half-hearted and almost forgotten about. Basically, I like to know the date I started a game, the date I last played it, how long I’ve been at it for… as well as other useless game-specific data such as how many headshots I’ve scored, how many miles I’ve ridden Roach, how many times I’ve chainsawed some dude in two, that kinda thing. They could tie all this in with the “Avatar Home Screen” idea and improved Achievements to allow you to deep-dive how you play on the Xbox!

Share Account Across Family: now most of what I’ve been talking about here as been, essentially, tweaks or redesigns of their UI; features that I’d love to see on the dashboard, either system-level or essentially as new apps. Some of these are more realistic than others, I know; some are probably of interest only to a small proportion of users who share my weird tastes. This last one is more of a re-evaluation of how Xbox views their accounts and their notion of “Family”. Basically, I’d like it if everyone in my family – that is, the four of us who live in this house and use the same Xbox, and who are all joined as an official “Family” according to Microsoft – could share all products and services in perpetuity. This doesn’t seem that unfair; if we were only using disc-based games on a pre-internet console, then there’d be nothing stopping my daughter playing my copy of Forza on another Xbox in another room whilst I’m playing Halo at the same time; or my wife theoretically playing Civ on the PC. Because games are increasingly digital and tied to an account – to say nothing of being playable only through that account’s subscription – it makes it more restrictive. I’d like it if I could install the Game Pass app on a tablet and allow my daughters to play it with their accounts, so I’m essentially sharing the service with them. Similarly, I’d like it if digital purchases could be shared among family members, not just on the “Home” Xbox (in this case my new Series X) but also on the household’s other hardware (my old Xbox One). Could they do this by requiring some kind of online handshake? Or having, I dunno, three consoles designated as a family’s machines? I think all of this may be a bit pie-in-the-sky, but you never know; Microsoft are pushing at the fringes of digital ownership and cloud gaming, so maybe acknowledging that people in a household will want to play all their games everywhere at once might mean that we’ll see some of these features sooner or later.

So there we are; ten things I’d like to see Xbox adopt going forward. As is hopefully evident, none of these are fixing glaring problems, just improving existing features, or adopting new ones that I think would be quite good. But let’s start with that Quick Resume thing, because there really are an awful lot of logos and menus at the beginning of Gears 5.

One final thing: I have a sneaking suspicion I’ve used this gif before. Oh well.

[jmsebastian]

Dragon's Dogma, Open World Gaming, and a Fool’s Errand

Open world games just really aren’t for me. This is something I started to finally realize during my playthrough of Breath of the Wild. Tying the do-what-you-feel approach to a series I’ve enjoyed as much as Zelda seems like it would be the magic formula to allow me to finally understand the major appeal of these types of games. Sadly, that did not happen. It was an enjoyable enough experience thanks to its leanings on classic Zelda mechanics and some more modern action game tropes, but I just did not care very much about exploring the world at large. Unlike games such as Skyrim, which have huge worlds filled mostly with empty landscapes, at least Breath of the Wild had stuff in it. There were tons of people, lots of collecty things to pick up for obligatory crafting, horses that still can’t compare to Shadow of the Colossus’ Agro more than a decade later. I cared about none of it. Everything I did in that game was with the singular purpose of beating it so I could say I did. I should have learned my lesson.

Fast forward several months and I’d begun to itch for a new fantasy adventure. There are more types of these games than I could ever play, so there was some care taken to ensure that I chose wisely. Reviews, game play samples, wiki entries all helped lead me to choose that next game. That’s why Dragon’s Dogma: Dark Arisen now takes up a substantial amount of space on my hard drive. On the surface, it was exactly what I was looking for. You can customize your character to a large degree. It has fantastic animations that feel responsive without being finicky or making the combat too easy. There’s still weight to your actions, so you can’t Bayonetta your way out of trouble or anything, but it is much faster than the From Software games of the world. So, perfect then. Fantasy hole filled.

Dragon’s Dogma is an open world done very poorly. The point of the game, at its most basic, is that you have to kill the dragon that stole your heart (which sounds suspiciously similar to the 1996 film Dragon Heart, but sorta kinda reversed). Having your heart stolen somehow makes you an Arisen rather than spelling your instant and everlasting death. Being Arisen means it is your destiny to kill the dragon to reclaim your heart. There’s no way around saying it, it’s a stupid premise. First, as an Arisen, life seems exactly the same save for everyone now calling you Arisen and the huge scar on your chest. With no practical difference in life pre Arisen and post, there’s simply no inherent reason to pursue getting your heart back. The game makes that your goal, so it’s your goal. Unfortunately, there are a lot of less clear cut goals in between.

For all its problems, at least the game’s framework is concrete. It’s easy to understand, and that’s a lot more important for games than is often acknowledged. Maybe some players don’t need the game to provide motivation through narrative, but if I’m going to spend a lot of time leveling up and fighting the same battles over and over again, it would be nice if it felt as though what I was working toward was going to pay off. Dragon’s Dogma made almost no effort in this regard.

At more than 30 hours in, I didn’t feel as if I’d learned anything that brought me more understanding of what was going on. In those 30 hours I fetched some herbs to heal local sick people, went to an outpost so that a Hydra could be triggered and I could lop one of its heads off, learned about the slave class called Pawns (whose lack of free will and incessant need to repeat themselves was profoundly disturbing to me), chased a boy around a village with no endgame, and murdered a fort full of goblins that were maybe somehow in cahoots with the dragon that stole my heart? At no point did I feel like I was doing anything of my own volition, but instead was just carrying out tasks handed to me by middle managers who didn’t want to bother putting in any effort for anything. If my character’s life was this unfulfilling, that makes the lives of the Pawns that served and died under me even more tragic.

The focal point of the numerous problems that arise comes from task management. Games like Dragon’s Dogma don’t know when you’re going to do any particular task, and it’s crammed with so many tasks and subtasks that there’s a need by the developer to bring how the game manages task out into the player’s face. That means I see little bubbles above the heads of people I need to talk to (as towns are filled with people who have no value to me as the player and simply exist to make the town feel like a town). It also means when I talk to them, a graphic appears and a sound effect plays alerting me that a task has begun. When I complete the task, my screen is splashed with experience points, money earned and more sound effects disrupt the natural ambiance of the scene to tell me I did a good thing. It’s a Pavlovian trick and robs me of any genuine sense of accomplishment.

This is not motivating, it’s demoralizing. The sheer number of things to do feels insurmountable. Since their relevance is impossible to know when undertaking a request, you sorta just go through them in order. They take you back and forth across miles of terrain, so even accomplishing something small takes a significant amount of time. Typically you’ll do something like seek out a witch in a forest. Part one of that quest is to find the witch. That means running around a shrouded wood until you uncover the witch’s house. The second part of that quest is telling the person who told you to do it that you did it. There’s a certain realism to this that, I can’t deny, has a certain charm. That charm quickly fades when you realize that you’re running back and forth along the same path, listening to the same information be mindlessly told to you, with the same enemies popping out to attack you “unexpectedly”.

This world is huge, yet the space between major points is bogged down with filler.

There is fast travel in the world of Dragon’s Dogma, thankfully. Unfortunately, you can’t really access it until you make it a good way into the game and can purchase the items that let you warp to certain places you’ve already been. It’s on you to investigate the items you can buy from vendors in order to discover that you can fast travel at all (there is an even worse fast traveling mechanism built into the original version of the game that’s not worth explaining for its lack of usefulness). Fast travel helps make things more bearable, but the fact that it needed to be included (and then improved for the PC release) highlights just how much of a wasteland the game takes place in.

The expansiveness of the world makes for another problem, which is that it’s very difficult to tell if you’re within a reasonable level to kill the enemies and beasts you stumble across. Even the weakest enemies are hard to kill alone. This is done to keep players from steamrolling their way through the game and to account for the possibility of three Pawns accompanying the player at any given time. For any enemy of reasonable strength, you’ll have to chip away at their health bar, focus on areas of weakness to gain an advantage, and manage the battlefield for extended periods of time. Isolated, this makes for interesting scenarios and is the most enjoyable part of the game, by far. It is taken to the extremes much of the time. The amount of damage you deal to enemies that are in your league and those way out of your league is difficult to determine even several minutes in sometimes. This means you can get yourself in unwinnable scenarios pretty quickly if you aren’t careful. God forbid you chip away at a Manticore for thirty minutes before realizing you’re not where you’re supposed to be.

Running into obstacles too difficult to tackle at the player’s current level can be a great way to guide them through the game’s intended route, but it’s at odds with a game that is supposed to allow you to do what you want when you want to do it. Most of the time, fights are really only difficult because you’re simply outnumbered or the mythical creature has a seemingly limitless supply of HP, and not because the enemies themselves are tricky to figure out or have complicated move sets. The flexibility of the combat allowed for through the Vocation system, the target points that exist for the larger enemies, and the adventuring party nature of combat all feel like elements meant for a game more like the original idea for Shadow of the Colossus than an Elder Scrolls style open world RPG and makes it feel as though progress is never really being made.

The dots represent the number of health bars this guy has.

There’s no easy cure for this sort of design. Dark Arisen has an additional component, Bitterblack Isle, that feels like the counterpoint to the main game. It offers a nice respite from the mind numbing openness by being more focused and self contained. You are taken there and you just have to dungeon crawl and kill everything. You are free to explore, but progression is more carefully planned and feels both genuine and rewarding. Sadly, Bitterblack Isle’s difficulty as a whole makes taking it on in the early game a pretty extreme exercise. I spent roughly half my time playing on Bitterblack and it was ruthlessly punishing for my characters. By level 30 I managed to find a bit more success, but getting to that level on Bitterblack alone would have meant cheesing the easiest of the island’s enemies hundreds of times. Given the choice of doing that or doing the main quest, I felt forced back into the main quest where I could get experience for far easier, if crushingly boring tasks. This pretty much killed any motivation I had to keep playing.

I probably had the most fun decking my character out in equipment more than anything else.

Maybe that’s my problem with open worlds. For all there is to do, games like Dragon’s Dogma seem to rely purely on the will of the player to push them forward, even when their designs seem to actively discourage moment to moment enjoyment. There’s something exploitative about the genre that just rubs me the wrong way. It’s not fair to make me be a messenger boy for an hour just so you can reveal some more details about a plot that barely holds together when it’s finally all presented. No reward in these games will make filler worth it. Games being big for the sake of being big live on the idea that value lies in the sheer amount of time that can be spent playing it, and take it to their most fallacious logical conclusions. I can only hope that in the future I’ll see the warning signs earlier.

[classpects-for-dummies]

Hey there sorry to bother you but can you analyze my session. We have a Thief of Space, a Bard of Time, a Prince of Life, A Witch of Breath, a Heir of Doom, and a Seer of Rage. Thank you very much.

Thief of Space *and* Bard of Time? Some people just want to see the cardinal aspects burn.

Thief of Space: one who steals Space and through Space for personal gain.

If you’ve followed this blog for a long time you might know that I have a personal vendetta against Thieves. I just… I just don’t like them at all. But even my own opinions aside, a Thief with a cardinal aspect is a terrible idea.

Don’t get me wrong; this Thief is powerful. They could complete the breeding with ease and be a great offensive addition to your team. But, only if you can actually persuade them to follow the cause – Thieves have a tendency to do whatever they want and not take orders from anyone. That being said, if your Witch isn’t too busy keeping the Prince quelled and the Seer sane, they would be able to completely manipulate gently suggest that the Thief stays on track.

Powers-wise, the Thief can steal the size, speed, mass, and other physical attributes of opponents (and allies) to use for themselves. They can also teleport with frightening speed and accuracy to anywhere where there is another person, by stealing their position. The Thief is a force to be reckoned with, and for the love of Skaia, keep them on your side or face the consequences.

Prince of Life: one who destroys Life and through Life.

Are you afraid of the big bad wolf?

Their enemies would say that the Prince of Life is a bully and cruel. They are a ruthless combatant that destroys not only the literal Life of their enemies but also their enthusiasm, their happiness, their desires. Do not let them view you as an enemy.

Princes start off leaning on their opposing aspect as a crutch: in this case, Doom. They would be meticulous about following rules and overcome by futility and the inevitability of death. However, as they grew they would begin to understand how this only makes what we do more important, and become obsessed with destroying the system: be that dismantling the hierarchy, breaking the game, or – and this one is the most likely – thoughtlessly slaughtering anyone in their way.

This is not the protagonist, oh no. They fit the role of antihero much better. The Witch and the Seer have their work cut out for them, geez.

This Prince, as Princes tend to, has a lot of unchecked emotional baggage, mostly fury and hate from having their dreams crushed by Doom so many times. If you can help remind them what you’re fighting for, they will be an irreplaceable ally.

Bard of Time: one who invites the destruction of Time and destruction through Time.

The phrase “ticking time bomb” has *never* been so literal.

Destruction through destruction is not exactly a promising thought, but regardless I stand by the fact that Bards don’t have to be assholes. This player is gonna start off rejecting Time and everything it represents. They hate the passage of time, hate destruction and endings, hate Time with a burning passion. This will carry on until the trigger, an event that forces the player to accept their aspect. If you get an unhealthy Bard – which you probably will – this will result in, with no semblance of doubt, the end of your session. Sudden, violent destruction rains around the Bard, along with careless, rampant time travel with no regard for the laws of stable loops, causing not even dozens, but *hundreds* of doomed timelines and hundreds of dead Bards. Remember how dead Time players are the enemy? Yeah.

Or, you might, if you’re lucky, have a healthy trigger and a healthy Bard. Congratulations! You managed what canon couldn’t. But here, you have quite a useful player. They can destroy doomed timelines, ensuring that you stay on the Alpha, and are quite a useful fighter as well.

Heir of Doom: one who invites manipulation of Doom and through Doom.

Heirs are typically influenced and shaped by their aspect, and this one is no different.

The Heir has likely gone through something very tragic and stressful to do with Doom. This could manifest itself in a number of ways: perhaps their guardian is incredibly strict? Perhaps they have witnessed death too much? Perhaps they had no rules at all? Regardless of its exact appearance, this event shapes them into who they are, and they don’t really like who that is. They see death wherever they go and they don’t like it.

In an ironic fashion, however, the Heir’s powers all revolve around death; they will cause death indirectly and set things into motion using death. Just as Doom has influenced the Heir, the Heir will learn to influence Doom to do what they want it to.

This player is actually going to be the least problematic out of your whole session: they don’t have any underlying issues they can’t sort out themselves, and they don’t really have anything overly terrible to stress about after they overcome the Doom in their past. However, learning to bend their aspect without help is part of an Heir’s challenge.

Witch of Breath: one who manipulates Breath and through Breath.

I hate to embody the cliché that “Tha breath playerrr is thu leeeaaader!!!!! uwu” but in this case, I genuinely think that in this case, the Witch is going to be the leader. I would stand by this if they were a Heart/Mind/Blood player as well; I just think that this is the player that this session really needs. This player is a pretty powerful combatant in their own right, but in fact, most of their efforts are going to be focused on complete manipulation gently suggesting ideas to the other players on what to do. For this player, the most important meaning of Breath is freedom; they will manipulate what other players think they are free to do, subtly shifting what the player actually does.

The Witch is the one to keep both the Thief and the Prince at bay, although if they have the time and the mental strength they will be helping to nudge the Bard towards a healthy release, and as aforementioned keeping the Seer sane.

The struggle for the Witch is striking the balance: how do you make sure you keep yourself healthy, while also not going mad with power? If they wanted to, this player could commandeer and control the entire session. I see a strong moiraillegiance forming between the Witch and the Seer, to keep them both sane and (somewhat) happy.

Seer of Rage: one who invites understanding of Rage and through Rage.

Starting off doubting themselves a lot, this player is going to grow into their skin, and become an invaluable battle strategist. When fully powered, they will have the ability to instinctively know how to spark emotions in anyone – player or enemy – but most of their expertise will come in starting or stopping negative emotions: anger, stress, and fear. They are likely to naturally be a stressed person and a worrier, and their challenge is to try to slip out of the paranoia that they feel about themselves and step out into the open.

Perhaps the Seer’s path in this session is the most difficult of them all. They also have no help with this challenge, with there being no Heart or Mind players, and let’s face it, the Witch has enough problems on their hands.

Conclusion:

This is kind of a mess of a session if I’m totally honest. Strictly speaking, it is a valid session that *could* be successful but I really don’t like your odds. Looking at the stats, you have an even active/passive balance which is good, but not only do you have a 2 to 4 scale of + to – aspects, you have BOTH of the destructive classes AND a Thief in a six-player session! Kinda a recipe for disaster when half of your players are unpredictable and likely to be not much help. Add to that the specific problems that the Witch is going to be spread too thin and the Seer needs to be helped as well and not really much is looking good here.

To raise the odds, I’d recommend adding a couple more players: A Rogue of Heart and a Maid of Hope would be your best options in my opinion. This would keep the active/passive balance while fixing the +/- imbalance, and provide some help for your Witch and Seer, allowing them to more fully keep the team together.

Good luck!

- mod Aaron!

[pineapplesareunderrated]

Choke on it

Waw. I have been here for more than half a year and haven’t posted a single thing ? Well, let me fix that. Here is my fanfiction .Its already on Archive but I wanted to put something here as well. ₍₍ ◝(●˙꒳˙●)◜ ₎₎ Gonna put first three chapteres into one cuz why not ?

Summary

Rhys was supposed to go to college, get his diploma and follow in his father foot steps into becoming a famous technical developer. That all changed when his mother died and Rhys's father decided for him to become a Vault Hunter and clear the universe from all those nasty bandits. The story is about Rhys who is the Vault Hunter in Borderlands 2, but he hates ALL the bandits. Handsome Jack on the other side ?Who wouldn't want to work for someone like that ?

The train trip to Opportunity was way longer than expected. When they told him that he will be travelling by train, Rhys expected it to take about two or three hours at most. But here he was. Sitting on an uncomfortable seat with muscles itching from lack of movement. He and the other four Vault Hunters have been on this train for about six hours, without any information about their whereabouts what so ever. Rhys tried to ask one of the guards passing him in the wagon, but he would always get the same answer. “We will be there soon, sir. Please just wait on your seat.” Once more he tried to use his ECHO eye to see if he can get any hints about how far from the city they were, but since this was his first time on the planet his eye wasn’t fully collaborated with the land yet and so it could show him nothing but blur of useless information.

Rhys sighed and looked around at his four companions. They were sharing this small space for almost seven hours, but none of them have spoken a word.

Nearest to him was sitting a girl with blue short hair and yellow shirt that was missing one sleeve. Her arm was covered in a tattoo matching her hair with its colour. She was reading some old-looking book. Rhys tried to look at the name, but it was written in a language he didn’t recognize.

On his other side was a handsome looking blond man trying to fix something on his turret that he’d deployed after an hour of their trip. Rhys had considered offering him a help with that, but decided against it. After all, he wouldn’t let anyone touch his mechanical arm either.

In front of him was sleeping a short man with funny looking beard. His snoring seemed to be louder than the train itself. Rhys was tempted to wake him up, but he valued his life too much for even getting closer to the guy. Even though he was short, Rhys considered him to be the scariest of them all. The guy had more muscles than the mutated cows on Eden 5.

And then there was this… person, sitting right next to the sleeping cow guy. He was dressed in black thin armour and had a helmet covering his face. He was not moving. At all. From the first moment, they got in the train until now, Rhys did not see this person move. It was freaky, but fascinating at the same time.

After a quick self-convincing he decided to talk to the girl.

“Hey.” Rhys greeted her, moving to sit closer.

“Hey.” She replied, her grey eyes never leaving pages of the book.

“Ehm...” The brunet cleared his throat. “The book you are reading. It looks… Interesting.”

“It is.”

“What is it about? “

She sighs, understanding that he will not leave her alone that easily, and finally looks away from the book turning her attention to Rhys. “It is about mystical realms and the effect they can have on one’s aura and mana.”

“Oh” Rhys replied not knowing what he had expected. “That’s, nice. Aura and stuff. Really cool.” Smooth one. God the day he learns how to talk to girls will be the day skags will start writing gay romantic poems.

The girl raised one eyebrow. She was about to move back to her book, but then she noticed the mechanical arm and pointed at it. “You made that yourself?”

Rhys looked at his arm, as if just now realizing it was there. “Oh. This? Well, I had a little help with the basic structure, but yeah. I did most of it on my own.”

“Can I have a look?” She grabbed the arm without waiting for permission and started inspecting the separate parts. “Is it connected to your nerve system or just the arm muscles?”

“Both, actually. It allows it to react on both conscious and subconscious impulses. I also have it synchronized with my ECHO eye, so I can use it as a computer.” He turns on the projection of map from the projector built into the metallic palm to show his point. ”This thing can come really handy in combat.”   Rhys chuckled to himself. “Pun intended.”

To his surprise, the blue haired girl smiles back leaving his arm be and looking back into his eyes.

“Those are hard to find these days. How did you manage do get one?” She asks this time pointing at his ECHO eye.

“My dad was a scientist. He gave it to me when I was ten years old. Saying it will improve my chances to follow in his footsteps.” Rhys looked away to stare at his black shoes. “But you can say things didn’t really turn out as he’d expected.”

The girl was silent for a moment not sure how to respond to that. “My name is Maya.” She says after a second of thinking. “It is really nice to meet you. You seem to be a nice guy, for a Vault Hunter.”

“Rhys.” He smiled, shaking her hand. ”Same goes for you.”

“So, tell me Rhys. How did you end up working for Hyperion?” Maya asks closing her book.

“Well.” He rose his hand running through his hair. “I was kinda hoping that it would get me to meet Handsome Jack.” Rhys paused looking at blue sign with the man’s face. “I really do admire the guy you know? I was thinking that working for him would be a great experience.” At this Maya laughed.

She´s got a beautiful smile. Rhys thought, blushing a little. “You are lucky that the man decided to hire Vault Hunters. Must be a dream come true.”

“Heh. Guess you’re right.” He smiled looking at his shoes. “Don’t get me wrong. There are plenty of things the guy does that I don’t agree with. Still, it only took him a decade to turn Hyperion into what it is today. And I think that’s admirable. “Maya shrugs mumbling something that sounded like, guess you’re right, under her breath.

“And what about you?” Rhys’s eyes finally leaving the floor and turning back to her.”What made you join?”

She stayed silent for a second thinking about her answer. “I came to Pandora to find more information about sirens. Because this place seems to be their origin. But I had no luck with coming across any valid clues, only this one guy talking about a siren that used to live here. Unfortunately, she got killed by Hyperion a few months ago. At least that’s what the official records say, but the rumour has it that she is still alive. Hiding, because she knows Hyperion is after her.” There was a brief pause before she continued. “Anyway, I have been running out of resources, and the pay check Hyperion offers is hard to say no to.”

Rhys nodded. “So you really are a sir-“ He got interrupted by a loud noise of something landing on the roof. They wasted no time getting combat ready, standing up from their seats, loading their guns.

Rhys’s attention got caught by a movement coming from the sign with Handsome Jack saying “Welcome Vault Hunters.” It was revealing another sign. Handsome Jack was on it still smiling, now with a murderer’s grin. Rhys’s heart stopped when he read the new red sign.

Welcome Vault Hunters. To you doom.

                                              (nothing personal)

Part 2 - Daddy's lil monster

 There were two loader bots charging up right before their shocked eyes, and more sounds were coming from the roof. Rhys spotted the black armoured Vault Hunter moving to the window and climbing his way up after the sources. He wanted to join him, but got interrupted by Maya who caught his sleeve and dragged him down on the floor to cover just a second before the robots started shooting at the spot where the two of them were standing. New turret was deployed responding them with the same number of bullets.

Mayas tattoo glowing in light blue as she pointed her finger at the nearest loader bot. “Freeze.” She yells and the unfortunate thing is trapped, levitating in dark purple bubble, unable to move. Rhys wastes no time before he starts sending his bullets into it. They manage to destroy him unusually fast. From Rhys’ experience, you need at least one full gun magazine to wipe out a single Hyperion loader bot, but now with Maya´s help he only used a half of it.

There were more of them coming. Rhys looks at Maya, waiting for her to make another bubble but she just shook her head. No more bubbles. Reloading his SMG Rhys aimed for the red light placed in the middle of robots’ head. Their weakest spot. This time it didn’t go as fast as before, but he managed to take down two more robots, before running out of ammo and switching for pistol. Luckily Maya was still there, helping with dealing the damage. The total count of destroyed robots by the duo was five.

The two remaining Vault Hunters meanwhile took out the other four loaders, the smaller one now shooting into the door with maniacal laugh. It takes him only a moment to get them opened and once the passage is clear they all run into the next room, the last Vault Hunter in black armour joining them, his sword covered in fresh blood.

Rhys’ heart freezes at a sound of s familiar voice coming from figurine sitting in a red chair in the middle of the room. But Rhys didn’t hear what it was saying. His full attention got caught by the enormous amount of explosive that was stocked in the room. Without a second thought, Rhys turns on his ECHO eye to its maximum performance.

He likes to call this his “ultimate ability”. By connecting all data it had received, and after analysing the possible outcomes, it allows Rhys for a few moments not only to predict, but to see next moves of his enemies as well as the future shape of his surroundings. Right now, it was calculating the unavoidable explosion and its outcomes, leading him into the safest position by the window granting him 1.028 % of survival.

He gets into the position just to hear Jack´s voice say, welcome to Pandora kiddos followed by an explosion that throws Rhys to the wall hitting his head hard and knocking him out into the darkness.

 It was raining outside when his mother was murdered by local bandit’s gang, god knows what she did to piss them of. She was well known for her sharp tongue so the chances were that she just said the wrong things to the wrong people.

His father would've always say that she was going to get herself into a trouble if she wouldn’t keep some things to herself. And so here she was. Lying in a pool of her own blood in the middle of their living room, her empty eyes looking at her son and husband who just got back from the grocery shop.

The bags his father was holdingfell on the floor as he was running to her. “Call the medic!” He yelled back at his son, who immediately did as he was told. But Rhys knew it was pointless, she was already gone. And so was the rest of his father’s sanity.

Before the accident, his parents had a great plan prepared for Rhys. He would go to college, get his diploma and follow in his father's footsteps into becoming a famous technical developer. To increase his chances, his father replaced Rhys’ biological eye with an ECHO eye of his own creation.

But with his wife dead, Rhys’ dad had a change of mind. He determined for Rhys to become a solider, who's quest will be to get rid of all bandits in the known universe. As impossible as the idea might sound, he truly believed that his son will be capable to achieve that goal.

“You are still too weak.” He commented one day, looking down at Rhys who was laying down on the ground (again) after being defeated by the robot (again) that his dad made for him to train with. “You need to become stronger. You need to become strong enough to knock someone out just by punching them with your…” He paused for a second “fist.” At that, he turned on his heel and walked away. Rhys didn´t see him for a week after that.

When he finally returned, he grabbed his son and led him into the lab. Rhys’ attention got caught by a silver robotic hand laying on the working table, and so he didn’t notice his dad holding an injection, until he felt sharp pain in his neck. His knees buckled and Rhys slipped into unconsciousness.

When he woke up, his left side felt like it was set on fire. He looked for the source and saw the silver arm from earlier attached to the left shoulder. His father ran to him when Rhys started screaming.

“Oh. You’re finally awake.”

“YOU CUT OF MY ARM!” Rhys’ eyes wide open, staring at the silver thing lying next to him.

“Would you calm down?” His dad replied, the same monotone voice as always. “I had to replace your arm. It was too weak.”

“YOU CUT OF MY FUCKING ARM!” Rhys continued yelling, his voice full of panic. Tears making their way into his eyes.

“Listen young man.” Clearing his throat, he continued. “Soon you will understand how big favour from me this was.” He paused for a second, focusing on his son’s new attached arm. “I will give you some time to adjust. Come to the kitchen when you are ready, we have to do some tests with it.” At that he left, closing the door behind him. Rhys waited until the sound of father’s footsteps subsided in the hallway. Than he started crying.

As much as Rhys hated to agree with his father, the hand was indeed very useful. Not only it increased his physical strength but now, after few adjustments, he could connect it to his ECHO eye, gaining for himself an access into every machine that was running on ones and zeros. They returned to their training and things started looking a little better.

That was until his dad tried to cut off the other arm in his sleep.

Rhys woke up in the middle of the night, feeling a pressure on his mattress. Scream escaped out of his mouth when he saw a figure kneeling above him, holding another injection. He pushed into his father’s chest with all his strength. Underestimating his new gained power, he pushed him way to hard and so his father – who obviously did not expect Rhys to do that – ended up falling backwards, hitting his head on the sharp corner of the bedside table.

And so, Rhys watched his second parent die in a pool of blood.

After that, Rhys decided to leave his home town. He sold his house and used the money to buy an equipment that allowed him to become a proper Vault Hunter.

The first time he’s heard about Handsome Jack was on one of his missions on Eden 5. His task was to assassinate the head of a small bandit camp. Rhys got the quest from the mayor of some random town that had been having lots of troubles with the group for almost half a year.

When he was done shooting a hole into the guy’s head, he heard news from the radio that had been turned on before he got into the room. They were talking about Hyperion’s new CEO and about how he was doing some massive changes within the company. Rhys chuckled when he heard his name. Handsome Jack. What person with sane mind would want to be called like that? There was no way his mother had given such name to him.

He didn’t pay much attention to him at first. CEOs come, CEOs go. That’s a known fact.

But over time, Rhys heard more and more about him. About how he focused on mining eridium, about how Hyperion’s every gun was now a top sale, or about how they were on a constant need for new employees.

And so, Rhys ended up searching his name on the ECHO net. And couldn’t get him out of his mind ever since.

Handsome Jack was perfect. He was fearless, he was respected, and he claimed for his life goal to be whipping all bandits out of Pandora, planet Rhys had never heard nothing but stories filled with psychos, mass murders and fauna that can kill you the moment you set your foot on the land. Rhys has become obsessed with him.

The day he saw the poster, saying the Handsome Jack was looking for Vault Hunters, was the luckiest day in his life. He decided to take the picture – of Handsome Jack with his arms wide opened, inviting every Vault Hunter to join him on Pandora – with him after staring at it with his jaw dropped for almost ten minutes.

He was going to work for Handsome Jack himself! He will be able to look him into the perfect mismatched eyes, and who knows? Maybe he will even talk to the guy.

Rhys smiled for himself. Maybe the universe didn’t hate him that much after all.

 Part 3-  I am sorry

Universe despised Rhys. And its way of saying that was making him wake up with his head half buried in the snow, and ears ringing as if he’d been listening to malfunctioning megaphone in headphones on the maximum volume. But he was still alive.

Rhys groaned and dug himself out of the white dirt.

He set a moment in the snow, waiting for his head to stop spinning, while trying to connect the previous events.

He was on the train. Going to Opportunity. It was s trap. The train exploded. It was supposed to kill him, but it didn’t.

Unsure what to do now he stood up and started walking in a random direction. Snow was cracking heavily under his shoes, while Rhys tried to move forward as fast as the white material allowed him to. It didn’t take a long before he heard noises coming from one of the broken wagons.

Rhys immediately started running that direction, ignoring the burning pain in his left leg.

He saw Maya laying on the ground, stuck under an iron pillar, her tattoos glowing light blue as she was trying to move the thing away from her torso with her magic. But the fact that she was bleeding heavily on several places sure was making it difficult for her.

She gave up on her trying when she spotted Rhys. Her lips moved as if calling his name, but no sound reached Rhys’ ears. He ran to her, tripping over his dysfunctioning leg. Yeah, that’s definitely broken.

Rhys joined Maya in trying to get the thing away. Together they pushed with all their strength, but it was immediately clear that even if he had his arm fully charged, only the two of them would never be able to lift it up. It was just too heavy.

Judging by Maya’s changing face expression, she was thinking about the same thing.

“I…I can go and try to look for help. There might be someone-” He tried to stand up but Maya grabbed him by his sleeve shaking her head. There was something sad in her eyes when she pointed at the gun Rhys had tucked to his belt.

Rhys was confused for a while, looking at the gun and then back at Maya, not understanding what she wanted from him.

His eyes widen in surprise when the realization hit him. “You can’t be serious!” He shouted leaning away from her. “There has to be some way.” Maya didn’t say anything, so Rhys continued. “I’m gonna go up there, I’m gonna get some help and we will get that thing off of you.” He tried to stand up again, but she only tightened her grip.

“You are a Vault Hunter, Maya.” He was pretty much yelling at this point. “Vault hunters don’t give up. We fight till our last breath, until there is no other way, and, and even then! We go and make our own…” Rhys’ voice was shaking as the tears started making their way into his eyes.

“I am done fighting Rhys. I am stuck under a train in the middle of a frozen desert.” Her voice was weak, easily lost under the sound of frozen wind.

Rhys didn’t answer. He wasn’t even looking at her, his eyes set on the white cold ground, head shaking.

“Rhys, please.” She whispered “Don’t let me…. Bleed to death slowly. That’s not…That’s not how I wanna go.” When he didn´t move, she continued with weak voice. “There is no one around here. Handsome Jack had his reasons for waiting with the explosion until we reached this location.” Rhys shook at the name. He really wanted to hate the man for being the cause of his current situation, but in the same time he did understood his motives. He finally met with her tired, gray eyes. There was so much sadness hidden in them. But no fear. Maya wasn’t afraid of death.

“I don’t wanna do it.” He said. His voice abandoning him. “I really don’t.”

“I know. I am sorry Rhys.”

He nodded. Fingers running through her blue, blood soaked, hair before slowly standing up, reaching for his gun. His flesh-hand was shaking way too hard for him to hold the weapon in it, so he put it into the robot one instead.

“Goodbye Maya.” Rhys whispered, tears running down his cheeks.

“Bye Rhys.” She smiled.

The smile did not leave her lips even after Rhys pulled the trigger.

Harsh sound of gunfire echoed through the frozen land, spreading the message of young girls’ death into the wide world, making all other noises go silent. But after a moment, it just got lost in the wind.

Rhys stood in the same position for a couple of moments before his knees betrayed him and he fell onto the frozen ground next to the dead girl. He didn’t even know her for that long. And there he was, kneeling next to her dead corpse, crying over her death, tears freezing on his face.

As a Vault Hunter, he should be used to people dying around him. He should, but he wasn’t. Rhys never really got to enjoy killing like others usually did in this kind of job. He wasn’t built to be a Vault Hunter, but his father did great job making him think that this was the only thing in his life he could do properly. That killing people is the only way for him to ever achieve anything.

He stood up, ignoring the growing pain in his leg – which seemed to be way more intense now when the adrenalin was washing away from his body – and headed away from the corpse. Not even considering picking up the gun. It used to be his favourite weapon. He did many modifications on it, making it to be one of the best guns he had ever have. But now? After using it to kill Maya? There was no way he would ever use that one ever again. Plus, if the rumours were true, Pandora was drowning in weapons. It wouldn´t take him long to find, or create, a proper replacement.

He noticed a light, coming from behind him. First, Rhys blamed it at the flames that were still surrounding some of the destroyed wagons. But there was something off. Was it even possible for the flames to be blue?

Rhys turned around, when the light started to grow more intense. “What the-” He watched some form of blue energy raising from the place where he left Maya’s body.

Without thinking, Rhys started running away from the source. But the leg hurt him like hell and he only managed to get a few steps away before a flash of blue light hit him, rising Rhys up from his feet up above the ground.

He saw nothing but white. He felt nothing but cold before the energy started spreading through his whole body, making it impossible to do as little as breathe. When his vision came back to him he was floating in the air, the blue light he saw earlier was now surrounding him. It was the clearest colour he had ever seen. It was so scary, so beautiful, so energetic all in the same moment. And yet, it left him completely numb, his brain being too overwhelmed by trying to process the situation Rhys was in, not having any time to produce proper emotions.

Before he managed to figure out what was happening, it was all gone. The blue light, the energetic feeling…Only thing that stayed was the cold.

He was lying on the ground again, without any idea about what just happened, unsure what to do now. When the cold started soaking in, he got up with a sight.

Rhys knew that there was no point in trying to figure out what had just happened to him. His life was filled with crazy stuff like that, he gave up on trying to understand them years ago. His life was weird. Weird things happened to him, practically on daily basis.

Plus, right now he was too cold, too sad and too tired to even care about anything. All he wanted to do was find some safe warm place, curl up in the corner and forget that the rest of the world ever existed.

Still, he couldn’t get rid of the awful feeling, that this weird experience was going to have some really bad consequences.

 ***

 “What do you mean one of them survived?”

“That there is a person whose life functions maintained untouched even after the explosion.”

“Don’t be a smartass Angel. It doesn’t look good on you.” Brown haired girl on the screen rolled her eyes as Jack leaned his back on the table while holding his chin with the left hand. “Did you manage to locate them?”

“No. Not yet. The storm is blocking my signals. We will need to wait for the weather to calm down before I can contact them.”

Awesome. This means that there is a pissed Vault Hunter running around in the Southern Shelg, and Jack has absolutely no control over them. “And I don’t suppose you know which one of them it was, do you?”

She shrugs. “Nope. No Idea. Could be anyone.”

“Well isn’t this just fricking perfect?!” Jack turns away from the huge monitor he has been using to communicate with his daughter and starts walking around the table. “First there was that fiasco with Maliwan catching our spy, another of our eridium mines got taken over by some cock-sucking bandits and now I gotta deal with some piss stain who just won’t stay dead after I fucking tell him to!”

Grabbing his gun Jack shoots his whole magazine into one of his targets he had someone to set up all around his office. He did that after Angel suggested that shooting into his employees every time he needs to cool down his temperature might not by the best idea if he wanted to keep his number of stuff in the same way it is.

Jack knew she was right, but still. It just wasn’t the same without all the blood and begging being involved.

When he turned back, Angel was still watching him with unamused expression on her face. “What do you want me to tell them when I manage to establish contact?”

“I don’t know.” Jack responds in frustrated voice throwing his hands up, still holding on that gun. “That it would be lovely if they just could jump off the nearest cliff and break their fucking neck or something.”

“I don’t think that would help us to achieve anything. Besides, even if I would succeed in persuading them into doing so, I don’t suppose anything would happen to them. Judging by the odd way the gravity works on this planet, they would just walk away after that in the same shape they were before.”

“Angel, what did I just say about being a smartass?” She smirks back at him with raised eyebrows. Jack could not help but see himself in that expression. Sometimes he wishes that the two of them weren’t so alike. She would be way easier to deal with, if she hadn’t had inherited so much from him.

But she has a point. Getting rid of a Vault Hunter is never that easy, especially when they expect you to come after them. He needs to be smart about this. “Alright. We are going to have to do this right.” Jack continues, the left hand back on his chin. “You will gain their trust. Help them reach Sanctuary. We can use having someone who will listen to you in that forsaken city.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? Helping another Vault Hunter to join the resistance? Wouldn’t we be just playing into their hands?”

Jack just waived his hand dismissively. “Nah, they are going to get there anyway. This way they will at least have a feeling that they can trust you. And I am pretty sure we will be able to use that in our advantage.”

Angel nodded with pensive expression. “All right. I think I can do that.”

“I know you can, sweetheart.” Jack winked at her. “Just let me know when you find out who exactly are we dealing with, will ya?”

Nodding again, she mumbled something like, as you wish, before the screen turned off.

When he was alone, Jack returned to his computer. There was so much work for him to do, even before the fuck up with assassinating the Vault Hunters. He opened his e-mail with the conversation with Maliwan. It was time for him to turn the charms on and someone to manage to get Hyperion back on good terms with the elemental-focused gun manufactory, before they manage to turn it into an armed conflict.

This was going to be a long night.