#i also have one more in mind but i can't seem to find which ep this was from 😭

[chahnniesroom]

to have and to hold

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: you don't think there's anything chan can do to make you love him more. chan continues to prove you wrong.

word count: 1.4k

warnings: mentions of pregnancy, lots of fluff!!

a/n: sorry it has been so long since i posted! i have been wanting to write this since that ep of return of superman where chan and felix took care of rowoon, it was so so sweet. also i'm so sorry but i did not edit this at all

till death do us part collection | read it on ao3 | masterlist

“Do you think you’d ever want to have kids?” 

Your question breaks through the quiet dialogue of the show that you and Chan are watching. Behind you, you feel Chan freeze before he forces himself to relax and continue fiddling with your fingers.

Chan hesitates for a moment longer before answering.

“I don’t know,” he says, slowly and carefully. “I think that I’d want to eventually, but right now? Being an idol- It would be difficult. I mean, for anyone it’s hard, but especially with this career…”

“Do you like children?” you ask, curious even though you can anticipate his answer.

“Yes.” This time he replies immediately, although his voice is still cautious. He releases your hands from his hold and gently nudges your shoulders so that you twist to look at him. “Y/n- Do- Are you-”

“What?” you stare at him, not sure why he suddenly seems so worried.

“Are you pregnant?” he asks gently. “It’s fine if you are! We can totally work things out and I will 100% support you the whole time-”

“Oh!” You smack yourself in the forehead. “No! Definitely not! I was just thinking.” 

“Ah.” Chan slumps against the back of the couch, this time he’s actually relaxed. “Just thinking or- what brought this on?”

“I’m sorry,” you say hurriedly. “That must have been out of nowhere for you. No, it’s because my older sister’s wedding anniversary is coming up, the first one since she’s had a kid, so I wanted to let her go out without having to worry. I was wondering if you wanted to help me babysit?”

“I see,” Chan says, sounding relieved. “Your sister. Yes, I haven’t met Doyun yet, right? I’d love to help you take care of him.”

—

Your sister is delighted that you’ve offered to take Doyun for an evening and you quickly coordinate with Chan what day would work best. It’s not possible to babysit on your sister’s actual anniversary due to Chan’s schedules, but your availabilities line up on a Friday night the weekend after.

Chan is nervous leading up to it, which you find absolutely adorable. When you look over his shoulder one night, curious what he’s focusing so intently on, you find him scrolling through articles on interacting with babies as well as tips on baby-proofing an apartment.

Before your sister arrives, you work with Chan for a few hours transforming the open area of your apartment, placing pillows and draping blankets over sharp corners and making sure to keep any small objects out of reach. 

When the doorbell rings, Chan panics, popping his head out of the kitchen from where he’s been trying to figure out a way to prevent Doyun from being able to open the cabinets.

“We're not ready!” he says, eyes wide.

“What do you want to do, keep them waiting outside until you finish?” you joke, then pause when it looks like Chan is actually considering it. “Don't worry, I'll go let my sister in and you keep working on that. We'll be watching Doyunnie the whole time, so even if you can't work that out, it's fine.”

Your sister doesn't stay for very long. She hands Doyun off to you and assures both you and Chan that your place looks safe for a baby. After going through everything that is packed in the massive diaper bag that she’s leaving with you, she heads back home to get ready for her dinner.

Doyun has a short attention span and cycles between playing with a stuffed animal, a ball, some plastic fruits and vegetables, and toy trains within the first hour. He is so adorable that you and Chan don't mind how much energy is required to keep him occupied. Luckily he's a fairly easygoing baby and hasn't fussed at all, although it did take a while for him to warm up to the two of you.

He's comfortable now, especially since Chan has started to spin the two of them around, hands firmly gripping Doyun’s torso. Doyun absolutely loves it, shrieking in excitement with his eyes crinkling. Even after a few minutes of the same thing, he never grows bored, just as thrilled everytime that Chan lifts him above his head. Although Doyun isn’t very heavy yet, after 15 minutes there’s sweat visible on Chan’s forehead and he’s starting to get out of breath.

“How about we take a bit of a break? Do you want to read?” Chan sits Doyun down against some pillows and rummages through the bag that your sister packed, finding some of the books that she included.

Chan hands the books over and although Doyun accepts both of them, he throws them aside and instead clumsily reaches up towards Chan, clearly asking to be picked up again. Chan pretends to groan and complain as he lifts Doyun back up.

“Aww,” you coo. “He really likes you.”

“And I really like him,” Chan says, spinning Doyun around. “I just wish I hadn’t gone to the gym earlier today, I didn’t realise what a workout this would be!”

Eventually Doyun grows tired, no longer begging Chan to continue. This time when Chan settles him on the ground, he just looks around curiously before crawling up to Chan and grabbing at his curls.

“He’s so small,” Chan marvels. “Look at his little fingers!”

He reaches out towards Doyun, who immediately wraps his hand around Chan’s index finger and pulls it towards his mouth.

It's comical to see the difference in size between their hands and Chan visibly melts, allowing Doyun to gum at his fingers, quickly covering them in a sheen of saliva.

“Are you hungry Doyunnie?” Chan asks. “It’s almost time for dinner, let’s see what your auntie prepared for us.”

By the time Doyun is set up in a high chair with a bib on, you’ve finished cooking. Dinner for Doyun is simple, consisting of steamed vegetables, tofu, rolled omelette, rice, and a bit of fruit. You’ve also used the same ingredients plus a few additions to make kimchi stew for you and Chan.

Chan is distracted the whole meal, prioritising feeding Doyun and wiping his face clean in between bites over eating his own food. It's a futile effort since Doyun seems more interested in smearing the food around rather than getting it into his mouth.

When you're finished with your food, you switch spots with Chan and coax Doyun into eating the last few bites he has left while Chan scarfs down his own meal. 

After dinner, you carry Doyun into the bathroom and start filling the bathtub with a shallow layer of warm water. He watches with wide eyes as you add bubble bath that changes the colour of the water to a deep blue and creates a thick cover of bubbles. After washing the dishes and wiping down the kitchen, Chan joins the both of you just as you’re rinsing suds out of Doyun’s hair.

Cleaned and dressed in a fuzzy onesie with tiny bear ears poking out from the hood, Doyun struggles to stay awake for the rest of the evening. It’s obvious that he’s tired, he’s starting to get cranky and his blinks get longer and longer, but he stubbornly continues to play. After his third time nodding off while slotting plastic shapes into a cube, Chan picks him up and walks him around the room, rocking him slightly while humming a melody that you can’t recognize.

When your sister comes to pick up Doyun, he's sprawled out on Chan’s chest, deeply asleep. A line of drool drops from his open mouth to form a wet spot on Chan’s shirt, but Chan doesn’t seem to mind, staring at Doyun with stars in his eyes.

That night, right when you're about to fall asleep, Chan speaks up. His arms are wrapped around you and you can feel his breath against the back of your neck. 

“I think,” he says quietly. “I think I want kids. Not now, I still have the same concerns as before, but in the future? I want it.”

“You did so well with Doyunnie, it looked so natural,” you agree. “I think you would be a great dad.”

“Only if you’re there by my side,” he corrects.

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

till death do us part collection | read it on ao3 | masterlist

[maximumqueer]

Ok, so I got to (and past) ep. 26 of Witchlight, where Gideon is hit with a fey love curse which has him be head over heels in love with Kremy. And it just has me thinking about how vastly different the two of them reacted to being fey cursed to be in love with the other (though we all know they are in love without the fey curse) and what that says about them as people, as well as the way that they view relationships.

When Kremy was under the effects of the fey curse, he was dead set on making sure Gideon (or anybody really) did not find out about him being in love. He, for all intents and purposes, did not act all that differently that he would have other than being more outwardly jealous of the fact that Gideon was marrying other people. (Richie saying "I know" with that smug look in his face will live rent free in my mind forever). This says a lot about Kremy, and the way he views romantic (or even just more intimate) relationships. He is so full of shame and insecurity at the prospect of being in love of Gideon that it all has to be done through a false lens of irony. And I think that is because Kremy, at the end of the day, is a conniving conman. He views relationships as advantageous. He is so clearly afraid of vulnerably that, even when under the effect of a love curse, is still trying his best to not let on that he is in love. (I also think this points to him actually being in love with Gideon, as it does not completely alter his behavior). He needs to maintain control on his feelings in order to be in control of every situation he is in, so that he can exploit the people he needs to, as well as make himself as un-exploitable as possible. Obviously he is friends with Gideon, Gricko, and Frost, but I can't help but believe that the trust we see him have in them was built slowly over years. Just look at the way he views Torbek earlier on. And as such, admitting that the relationship he has with Gideon goes deeper, and is more intimate that just friends and business partners, is a (nearly) impossible task for Kremy, as he does not want to feel or be viewed as vulnerable.

With Gideon, the second he gets cursed, he immediately goes all in. He says that he loves Kremy, that he is happy they are married, and goes out of his way to touch him, be close to him, compliment him. Now, this is more distinctly different from how Gideon usually behaves around Kremy, but I don't necessarily think that means that his love is completely fake. I do think, however, that it means that Gideon is unaware of the full extent of his feelings when it comes to Kremy. Because, while it was said in a joking manner, I believe that there is some truth to the claim that Gideon has commitment issues. Not in the sense that he is or ever would be unfaithful in a more committed relationship, but rather that some wires got crossed in his head (thanks to the years and years of trauma from the fucking train) and that he now views being 'tied down' to one individual in a romantic sense in a similar way as being imprisoned. He wants freedom, he doesn't want to feel beholden to a single person. And obviously this is an unhealthy way to view relationships, as a healthy one will not make you feel like you are being caged. But this does not seem to be based off of experience for Gideon, as all of his 'romantic' exploits seem to have been causal hookups that may end in him getting shotgun married and then immediately cutting town, but nothing more. It is the concept of romantic commitment that Gideon does not like, not the actual act of commitment itself. Because he IS committed to Kremy, and he has no qualms with being 'tied down' to Kremy in this way. As such, he doesn't view his feelings as being anything other than platonic, as he expects romance to feel like a cage. Until he gets slapped with fey magic, and those feelings about commitment temporarily go away.

Basically this is a really long way of saying that I LOVE how Richie and Mace both decided to play their characters being (explicitly) in love with the other. It makes for beautiful (and very funny) character work and gives us, the audience, a bit more insight into the dumbass minds (affectionate) of Kremy and Gideon.

[buffyfan145]

I think I figured out what is going to happen with Haladriel in the season 2 finale after all the stuff we got today, mostly from Amazon's latest TV ad which gives away another major part of it. It's also all over Twitter/X and Reddit now but warning others in case they don't want that many spoilers as I've seen the fans who went to the NY screening now posting in disbelief how Amazon is just spoiling so much of it. Will say if what I'm thinking happening is correct it's actually good imo and not fully a repeat of the s1 ending like so many think. So it's up to you if you want to see it or not. It doesn't give away any other spoilers though for the other characters/ships just Haladriel.

So from all of this it seems like after Galadriel and Sauron/Annatar have their sword fight he does switch back to Halbrand and proposes again. We got confirmation of this from that review of s2 that was posted today and already in the tags (though that reviewer really didn't like a lot of season 2 as a whole so here's some negative stuff in there). It seems like whatever Sauron/Halbrand does with Galadriel does almost make her say yes. There might be a vision too or not, but whatever he says and does it's so tempting and we can clearly see that she does want it, but at the last moment snaps out of it either due to Nenya or her own will. Then she jumps off the cliff!!! 😮

The new trailer shows Sauron back as Annatar on that clifftop after she falls and he's using his magic to save her. You can see his hands are moving similar to how he controlled those elves in ep 2.7 in the forge. Seems it's similar to Eleven on "Stranger Things" with her telekinesis powers and he saves her from dying. Not sure if he gets the 9 rings back before this or after but this is likely the moment their head s2 director Charlotte says that by the end of s2 we'll know he truly loves her. A lot of figured she might get injured and he heals her, but saving her from dying again would prove this and that he won't let her die, and likely can't live without her now like the classic enemies to lovers troupe.

Then there's some leaks that Gil Galad and/or Elrond find her and take her with them and Sauron lets her go with Nenya before he leaves, which does make sense now if this is the case. Also that she lets him leave too with the 9. This also sets up s3 and them still connected, especially once he makes the One Ring and has control over all the rings.

I'm totally ok with this if this happens. It proves again he loves her and he won't stop trying to have her by his side. Would also mean that we'll likely get more mind palace scenes in s3 and that it's far from over between them since she almost said yes. I would've loved if she went with him but I never really thought that would happen anyway. We'll see for sure on Thursday but this is what my head is telling me now.

[skydaemon]

does anyone want to hear the worst iwtv thought i've ever had? spoilers

so yknow how there's been a load of hints this season (and some last season) that claudia won't be killed by sunlight like she was in the book, but will die in a fire? i can't recall every instance right now, but in ep 4 there was her talk w santiago and daniel's question about the theatre, both of which could just be hinting at the fire in general, or could be suggesting that claudia dies in the theatre fire. there's loads more examples that someone else collated, but i can't find that right now. considering armand and louis are together in the present, it seems unlikely louis knows armand killed claudia, so if she died accidentally (or "accidentally") it would make sense for them to possibly have trauma bonded or just stayed together, rather than being torn apart the way they were in the book. again, could just be coincidence, or could be foreshadowing.

but i was watching ep 4 today in the scene where claudia confronts louis about armand and i found myself offhandedly thinking that the embers from louis' photographs were going everywhere, and they could start a fire.

then i stopped fucking DEAD.

because this episode sure focused a lot on the fact that louis is learning to control fire, huh? weird, since it's not a skill we see him use in present day. also showed he's not totally in control of it, and that he gets emotional and sets things on fire. so of course my brain jumped to the worst possible conclusion: what if louis set the theatre on fire and it killed claudia?

now, it's totally possible that, as in the book, louis just sets the theatre on fire in response to claudia's death. but before i could snuff out the terrible thought, another one followed: if he did, does he know?

because to me, there are four options. 1: he didn't kill her and he knows it. boring, basic, as per. 2: he killed her and he doesn't know. armand has mind-wipe powers that he's clearly used on louis, and it seems pretty in-character for him to hide this from louis. it would be absolutely devastating as a reveal and i KNOW jacob would kill me by acting it. 3: he killed her and he knows. this would be so INTERESTING!!! like retroactively making it canon that louis killed his daughter/sister/best friend and has been dealing with that for the last seventy-five years has INSANE implications and that would destroy me. 4, and possibly the most awful: he didn't kill her but armand made him think he did. this would explain the way louis in the present is significantly more under armand's thumb when daniel arrives compared to their 40s relationship, and why louis is so fucked in the head. it is so fucking juicy i want to rip into it with my teeth like a ripe mango.

anyway, very possible none of this will turn out to be right, but it was such an arresting thought in the moment that i felt pressed to share it.

[zhuoyichenpretty]

Ep 25 Commentary

“難受嗎？難受就對了[...]卓大人，你習慣就好。” Is it difficult to bear? Good [...] Zhuo Daren, you'd better get used to it. —Zhao Yuanzhou, Ep. 1

Oh my god what the fuck ep 25. Ohhh my god. I don't think I ever stopped going "holy shit oh fuck" for the entire forty minutes. My head is in my hands. Why is FoF experimenting with onscreen physical/emotional/mental whump at a frequency and intensity previously unknown to man? To my favorite character? 我前輩子得罪了誰？？(Who did I wrong in my previous life??)

Quote from ep 1 because I had just re-watched it earlier in the day and those words came back to me not with any particular use towards interpretation but just as a characterization of—all of this. It is indeed difficult to bear.

Spoilers incoming.

Also spoiler for how I feel about this episode in case the sound of me wailing in lament in the distance makes it unclear: It was probably one of the most effective episodes for me thus far, personally. It struck many, many chords and did not stop for breath at all.

Honestly I'm kind of at a loss for words because I really, truly, did not expect shit would get so much worse for ZYC so incredibly rapidly. The speed with which the situation deteriorated broke the fucking sound barrier (I'm exaggerating, I'm being dramatic, but jfc I wasn't prepared). I apologize in advance if any of my reactions become a little bit repetitive, there are only so many ways I can express continuous distress and shock and despair.

My stomach dropped during the watchman attack scene. I can't believe how effective it was for me, this moment coming at the heels of ep 24, how that episode was a whole meditation on the goodness of ZYC's heart, his gentle and sensitive nature, the reasons why everyone loves him, the way things are bad but they will not break us and we may lose heart individually but we will persevere together.

And then in one single moment, all of that is threatened and very nearly destroyed. I felt every one of ZYC's dry heaves.

This drama is not one I necessarily go to for subtlety of intention, so the fact that I really had no inkling how at-risk ZYC's irreproachability would be in the coming episode despite being very invested in his arc made it all the more shocking and well-done, personally. They set him up as high as they could so they could tear him down as thoroughly as possible in an instant, and I did not notice the set-up at all.

I also have to say, I really appreciate PSJ. How quickly she cut to the chase about what he'd seemingly done, how she'd said the things that aren't just hard to hear but also hard to say. Because that's exactly what ZYC will care the most about. It seems to me her righteousness helped keep his own intact. In such a moment of complete and utter vulnerability and devastation, her moral clarity is as terrible as it is necessary and true to ZYC's belief system, just when it is most susceptible to collapse. And I say this not to mean that I think he is culpable for the supposed attack, given how much discussion the show goes into about culpability or lack thereof when not in one's right mind, but just that I find PSJ's moral compass to most closely align with ZYC's beliefs as he has been carrying them out throughout the show, and she keeps him from contradiction in a moment when it may be on everyone else's mind to spare him from the double-edged blade of his own righteousness. (Also, I may be reading too far into WX's statement later on that PSJ protected ZYC with her decision, but it could be interpreted that WX agrees or understands that as well on some level.)

And the fucking fact that all this takes place in front of a shrine for the Righteous God of Virtue and Blessing. As I said, I'm speechless.

(Speechless, she says, as she continues to ramble.)

Ouughhhhhh the reversals. ZYZ draping the cloak on ZYC this time. Fuck. The dungeon. Oh god. The way ZYZ loses more and more of his facade of calm, even just from his somewhat tense but understated distress in ep 24 to this unblinking, almost unseeing stare at ZYC in shackles.

Also, I'm glad for the moment PSJ and WX have to themselves once ZYZ proves ZYC's innocence. The way we get to see them navigating a situation so dire together despite its potential to push them utterly apart. PSJ's near-silent delivery of "friend" fucking kills me. It's loaded with so much emotion that neither the voice nor the term can truly handle that weight. That's art to me.

And then oh god, the Tianxiang Pavilion scene. I don't even know what to say. How everything spirals completely out of control. How we literally watch ZYC's worst nightmares play out. WX's first shout, the way I don't feel like I've heard that particular shade of emotion in her voice up until now, even with everything they've been through. Honestly, each of their expressions as the mob began to jeer and before they were separated was so effective. Ying Lei's indignation, PSJ's alarm, ZYZ's agitation, WX's fury. And the palpable panic as the crowd surged around them and pulled them apart.

I've watched this whole scene three times now. Every actor is giving their all here, and it's so impressive because this isn't at all the usual context of their angst and heartbreak. This isn't a decisive battle over life and death. The range of tragedy stretches so far in this kind of fantastical drama and yet they are able to create such tension and emotion that the shock of that first egg thrown has all the impact of a fatal wound. And it's worse in some ways because it means so little to an outsider and everything to this family.

That rage and helplessness in WX as she wipes ZYC's face and asks who threw it, when she says if the crowd goes any further, they'll fight back—her delivery is so raw. When I heard her lines, I felt the fantasy genre completely slip away for a moment and it became absolutely personal. Like, this point is getting a little away from mere commentary so please forgive the brief aside but those are words I can hear in my own family's voices.

Then, watching the very last vestiges of ZYZ's composure fully crumble away in real-time. God, I wish I could say something more substantive about ZYZ's entire reaction because it's so so good but I'm feeling levels of angst I truly don't know how to convey, which is really saying something given how much of an essay I usually write despite claiming I'm speechless.

Just. The way this is the most desperate and near-breaking we have ever seen them, in a completely different manner than the grief that has come before.

Alright, and then, the juxtaposition of the mob and the cheering crowd around ZYC?—yeah, that's when I started sobbing. As I've said before, the effectiveness, the efficiency, of TJR's acting. The way we can read every emotion off of young ZYC's face: his awkward pride, his self-consciousness, his bashful happiness. Even though this is a memory only recently and fleetingly alluded to in the previous episode and this is a ZYC we have never actually met, we know him and all his mannerisms and expressions so well. He is so alive with his character and so familiar, and then we cut back and, god, how unrecognizable everything is now. That absolutely broke me.

Finally, ZYC and Li Lun's conversation. Again, so so good and again, not sure I can offer much substance in my commentary to do it enough justice. I've been writing this commentary for over three hours now, so if my coherence is petering out, I do apologize.

This is so much of what I wanted and didn't even know I wanted from them, simply because they've been kept apart by the plot for so long. To see some of this come to pass is so satisfying. For Li Lun to claw so desperately at ZYC and try to bring him down, what that means about how he views ZYC's role in ZYZ's life right now. That this is twofold, to ruin ZYC and to be understood, and how he can never get the latter if he is still holding onto the former, wanting to pull others into the abyss rather than seeking a way to perhaps be pulled out of it. Li Lun is so precise in his brutality towards ZYC, digging his fingers directly into the worst of ZYC's fears, and yet ZYC is so insanely clear-eyed and incorruptible and incisive with his words in a way Li Lun has never experienced or had to combat (ZYC, articulate king fr). And for all of Li Lun's bluster as he continually makes to take the physical and conversational upper hand, how quickly that becomes a pitiful immaturity when ZYC truly fights back (in defense of ZYZ). Yan An plays this part so well, when he's looking up at ZYC.

And seriously, talk about ZYC delivering just the most on point monologues to struggling characters ever (ZYZ, Bai Jiu, now Li Lun), and doing all that after the day he's had?? To be honest, I don't know what direction this conversation will push Li Lun. I can see it go either way because yeah ZYC just basically rubbed in his face how alone and pitiable he is and how he'll never get what he wants out of ZYC, but at the same time I've never seen Li Lun so close to understanding why he has ended up alone, nor look so desperate enough to not be that he might end up making a different choice for himself. And just as Li Lun is that mirror showing ZYC the darkness of the abyss, ZYC must be reflecting to Li Lun how bright the dawn could be. (Oh the inextricable nature of character foils.) Even though ZYC has denied Li Lun the understanding he wants, he has seen through Li Lun so thoroughly that that is an understanding in itself.

And then oh my god. The reverting to Bai Jiu's voice and body. One of the most top-tier narrative choices ever. Li Lun, deconstructed by ZYC completely, is really so unbearably young in his heartache.

Okay, I think that's all I have to offer. I'm so wrung out, and I apologize if the quality of the commentary declined in the second half, but I hope some of this was enjoyable to read!

[obscurecurse]

Not Waving But Drowning (Ep 13)

ok sorry i got distracted by those other details from the ep. but i am once again asking for the KPTS scholars to dissect a kim look and it's this one right here:

(full disclosure the series of gifs for this post is titled like, "ohgodohfuck1, ohgodohfuck2, etc." i have been crying in public all week. and i accidentally dissected this scene in Reverse Chronological order, which is kind of interesting... does someone want to watch KPTS backwards with me? lord knows we've watched it forward enough times.)

i'm going to Posit™ some shit, but i did in fact ask for Your Interpretation...

this scene comes to the audience as a flashback, while kim is feeling emo about chay, looking at the polaroids in his apartment. and because it's got that flashback cinema feel, it almost reads to me like a glimmer of kim's mind, a bit of unreliable narrator? it's as if all of his memories of chay are compressed into a single moment, and its one that he feels he fumbled spectacularly. it's the epitome of their dilemma.

i didn't do a full rewatch for this (lol) but as far as i can tell, there's no other scenes where they're wearing these outfits, which makes it a little hard to place within the timeline. obviously this is before chay finds kim out, before chay is kidnapped, and probably before chay confesses? i reason that it's after kim has realized that chay is just a fan, though. the emotions behind the lyrics of chay's song seem to register as lyrics for Kim.

i think of kim, in general, as fairly composed. usually. he's an idol, well-mannered, and leans heavily on a poker face he's spent his entire life perfecting. (he obviously flips once he hits some threshold, which we see a few times. and then there's the moments where he literally has to turn it off, superseded by survival instincts.)

it's so interesting to me that he walks away here. he walks away when chay confronts him outside of his apartment, too. it's like, he doesn't trust himself, so he removes himself? or it's just muscle memory at this point? (he seems to flee quite a bit. he left home. he disappears himself after he pulls chay from the warehouse. its implied he's been avoiding chay. khun even seems to have a sense of humor about how aloof kim is when they meet in passing. kim continues to strengthen the muscle each time he walks away. walking away does not change things, but clearly he's getting something out of it. or it worked for him once and now it's just a character flaw. anyway)

he didn't even know he was playing with fire but now it burns. kim can't focus while chay looks directly into his eyes and sings to him. he can't sit still:

his jacket (HIS BLUE JACKET) is stained with black brushstrokes.

and perhaps my favorite thing about this scene is the envelope it comes in: we see chay how kim sees him now -> framed by the window of the sound engineer's booth, singing only for kim

my questions: why do you think he walks away here? what is behind that look? is it guilt? (because he knows how this will all later look to chay, and he understands now that chay had approached him honestly) is he barely containing the urge to return the apparent confession in chay's song? is he conflicted, torn by the firm belief that he's wrong for chay? is he considering letting the cat out of the bag, about being a theerapanyakul? is there something specific that kim does not want chay to see or glean from the look on his face? maybe a mix of some of these?

the other point of interest, for me, though not directly related to my query, is the look on chay's face. it's something like rejection or at the very least disappointed surprise? at face value, playing a song for someone you look up to is a very vulnerable act. this is not the reaction he was hoping for or anticipating. but it makes me wonder, also, if chay knows(/suspects) more than we all give him credit for? somewhere deep down he must know how unlikely it is that his idol would engage him, a fan, in this way? i'm not saying he's onto kim, but maybe he's aware something is off about this situation? or, i guess, another possibility is that he's just worried about kim?

[the-catmans-offical-2]

The offical art when it comes to Ed and Wrath are few and far between. However, there's some things I've noticed and would like to share!

Wrath, as a human, would have blue eyes - while this is something we pretty much already knew just by watching eps 28 through 30, if you look at Ed's eye color then you'll realize that they're very close to being inverses of each other!

Also Wrath is cool colors (Blues and greens, blacks and purples) whereas Ed is warm colors (Yellows and reds, whites and oranges). I think that's another contrast or inverse between them to show who they are as characters - with Wrath being a homunculus he is colder colors like the tones of a dead body or just generally not something alive, while Ed has warmer colors like a living human would.

There's more differences between them! Wrath's iris shape is (in the picture and originally) more circular than Ed's - who's is more ovular. Wrath also has slightly larger eyes than Ed, giving him a bit of more childlike appearance though his facial shape keeps him appearing as though he is of similar age to Ed. (I remember reading somewhere once, and please correct me if I am wrong but I personally believe this greatly, that Wrath was made with the goal kept in mind that he'd be an opponent to Ed of similar age and similar in other ways as well.) Wrath also has sharp teeth whilst Ed has dull flat ones - oddly enough Wrath's ears are pointed slightly and Ed's ears are rounded, furthermore giving the visual feel that Wrath isn't human. He must appear rather uncanny to Edward or to any human - same with the homunculi in general - because he looks human but with subtle things that make him... Off.

Wrath is all smilely too, whereas Ed looks more serious or weary; Showing off Wrath's inital innocence (which stays there throughout the series until he was betrayed by Dante and Envy, and I will fight anyone on that) and Ed's lingering distrust for Wrath. Fun fact, in CoS he seems to trust Wrath more even though the two never see each other again. Oh, they're gonna be the end of me. ED FUCKING ACTED LIKE HE KNEW WHAT WRATH WOULD WANT, which leads me to believe they had a talk or just SOMETHING during ep 51 that was cut out.

I have no idea what this image is from so please let me know if anyone knows! I've been curious for a while.

Anyway, Wrath:) He's poking out from behind Ed, and there's more things to point out between them!

Wrath is wearing dark clothes whereas Ed's wearing light ones. Like usual, Wrath's hair is down and messy while Ed's is up and neat. This is the offical art that made me realize that Ed has longer, thinner eyebrows than Wrath - who has thicker ones!

Also Wrath seems to be staring directly at Ed, but I personally can't read his expression as anything? Maybe curiosity? I'm not good with reading facial expressions lmao.

I only added this one bc WRATH LOOKS SO SILLY WHO THE FUCK PUT HIM IN A LIL SUIT??? HOW THE FUCK DID SOMEONE PUT HIM IN A SUIT???

I'm looking for a clearer image for this so I may update this post at some point to put the clearer one there if I find it!

Anyway so Wrath and Edward are standing back to back. They have a slight height difference with Wrath as the shorter of the two (I bet Ed is very happy/j)

Ed's expression is more angry or solem while Wrath's is a grin - but both can be said to look angry I'd think.

They both have a hand on their hip (Ed's in his pocket but Wrath doesn't have pockets, L) and the opposite arm resting more languidly at their side. They're both standing straight, Ed's head is tilted slightly downward while Wrath's is tilted up - no one else is shown standing back to back. Only Wrath any Ed. Al is there, standing beside Ed, but Gluttony is standing with his side to Alphonse, and Lust is more off to the side and facing the others rather than with her back to anyone. I think it is to further show that Ed and Wrath are such parallels (and Lust is standing a little to the side, possibly showing how she isn't really obeying anyone but herself - showing how she betrayed Dante and went to help Ed get Al back in exchange for becoming human again; But we know how that played out..)

I'm not really gonna talk about these here, as one of them is simply a scene redraw, and they're more Izumi focused if you look at them - with Izumi appearing somber while Ed looks weary or even fearful, and Wrath is just.. Being a kid. Running and flipping, and then in the redraw fighting Ed and Al.

The same could be said about these!! They aren't really interacting - in the first image Wrath is asleep at a table with the other homunculi, and in the second he does appear to be staring at Ed; But again Ed isn't focused on him.

Probably some of the ONLY FUCKING COS OFFICAL ART I HAVE FOUND with Wrath in it. Wrath and Ed are facing opposite of each other. No one, other than Wrath in the image, is fully facing at a side profile - which at first I thought represented how he had died, but Alfons is there and so is Eckhart.

Ed looks wistful, not angry but not happy. Sad perhaps, which is what he seems to be a lot in CoS. But Wrath, he looks down right angry. Yelling maybe? His mouth is opened wide and showing his sharp teeth, his visable eyebrow furrowed, he looks dirty and tired. Clearly this is during his fight with Gluttony. I love that they're seperated by the margin, representing the Gate kinda - Armestrian characters on one side, 'our world' characters on the other.

Again, this isn't really Ed and Wrath in particular. But I want you all to really look at Wrath. He's licking his Ed arm. In a similar fashion Dante does to Lyra's arm after possessing her body, and basically asking Hoenhiem to.. Yk, fuck. While I definitely don't think Wrath is doing it out of sexual desire or reason (that is a child, that is a child, that is a child), I do believe he's doing it to mimick or copy Dante. Wrath could've seen that she liked Hoenhiem, which is putting it lightly but for the sake of the sake I'll just say she liked him, and then copied her by licking said limb out of liking Ed or desiring (non-sexually) his body/limbs. To become human.

Also jfc Envy is buff, go back to being a twink you loser.

Uhh I dunno, I just rambled a lil. Maybe I'll make another post with this? Maybe not, but this is what you get for now!! Use my ask box if you have any questions! :)

[valkyriexo]

Invasion of Privacy | Ep. 5 -Draw me like one of your French girls

ᑉ³SYNOPSIS; In the dazzling world of fame, you have it all—a beautiful home, devoted fans, and Chan, the love of your life. But when cryptic messages start arriving, the line between adoration and obsession blurs. With each note, you feel increasingly unsafe. Now, you're on a dangerous journey to uncover the truth before it's too late.

ᑉ³PAIRING; Chan x Idol! reader. Ft. Stray Kids

ᑉ³GENRE; Smau, FF , Angst, Hurt, Comfort, mystery

ᑉ³GENERAL WARNINGS ;Violence, Sasaeng (Stalker). Mentions of a knife, mentions of blood, Home invasion, cursing, Kissing, Pain, death, Implied female reader, Certain episodes may be Suggestive MDNI ᑉ³EPISODE WARNINGS;  Violence, Injuries, Blood, Pain, unconsciousness,

EPISODE WORD COUNT; 7.2K

AUTHOR'S NOTE ; a little Longer of a Chapter..

If you enjoyed this episode, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Whether it's through comments, reblogs, or sending an ask, your feedback means the world to me. Remember, none of this is real. It is a story. It is fiction. You can choose not to read it if it will make you uncomfortable.

Master Post | Teaser | Suspect Cards

STOP. THIS EPISODE CONTAINS THE ANSWERS TO THE GAME. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO PLAY BEFORE CONTINUING CLICK HERE.

The first puzzle appeared on the screen, and you, Chan, and Seungmin leaned in closer, each trying to get a better look.

"Cross out six letters and you'll find a word that we should know, This must be done in order." Chan read aloud.

You furrowed your brow, your gaze fixed on the tangled mess of letters displayed before you. With a thoughtful expression, you began to mull over the puzzle's challenge. "Let's see... if we remove six letters, what word could it form?"

"Nothing? There's no combination of words just by taking out six," Chan remarked, a hint of frustration creeping into his tone.

Seungmin nodded, his gaze still on the screen. "They wouldn't have specified 'SIX' spelled out like that. If they meant the number, they would've just written the number 6. Right?"

You pondered the arrangement of letters. "What if the instruction 'six letters' is a hint itself?" you proposed.

Seungmin's eyes lit up in recognition, his expression mirroring yours. "That's it! If we take out the letters 's', 'i', 'x', 'l', 'e', 't', 't', 'e', 'r', 's', we're left with........'important'," he exclaimed, a triumphant smile spreading across his face.

Excitedly, you double-checked his deductions, your eyes scanning the letters on the screen once more. When you found that Seungmin was indeed correct, you wasted no time in entering "important" into the text box. With a satisfying flash of green, the puzzle was solved.

"Great catch, Minnie," you praised.

The next puzzle appeared on the screen. it seemed to be a series of numbers: 0,3,4,5,8. 

You furrowed your brow, trying to make sense of the sequence, but before you could even start, Chan spoke up confidently, "This one's easy. It's a simple code."

You looked at him, intrigued. Chan's mind raced as he analyzed the clues. "4 is on 5's right, but not directly next to it, so that means 4 can't be the last digit, and 5 can't be the first."

Seungmin and you nodded, following his train of thought.

"Also, 0 and 5 keep a maximum distance," Chan continued, his eyes scanning the screen. "So, they're likely at the ends of the code."

"The 3 is between the two numbers that usually follow it, which means its in between 4 and 5." you added, trying to piece together the sequence. Chan's brows furrowed in concentration. "And the two digits on the right add up to the same number as the two digits on the left."

With practiced precision, Chan arranged the digits according to the given criteria. "The code is 53480," he declared confidently.

With a few taps on the keyboard, Chan quickly deciphered the code. "53480 translates to 'clues'," he announced, a satisfied grin spreading across his face.

You blinked in surprise, impressed by Chan's quick thinking. "That was amazing! How did you figure it out so fast?"

Chan shrugged modestly. "Just a knack for puzzles, I guess.... Let's enter 'clues' and see what happens."

Following Chan's lead, you entered "clues" into the text box, and sure enough, the screen flashed green, indicating that you had successfully cracked the code.

"Nice job, Chan!" Seungmin exclaimed, patting him on the back.

Chan's chest puffed out slightly, a hint of pride evident in his demeanor. He shot you a sideways glance, a playful twinkle in his eye. Unable to resist, you leaned in and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. Chan's cheeks flushed bright red, a mixture of surprise and delight spreading across his face.

The next puzzle appeared on the screen.

It wasn't a series of numbers or a cryptic code, but rather a poetic verse. You furrowed your brow, trying to make sense of the words.

"It seems like some sort of riddle or poem," you mused aloud.

Chan and Seungmin leaned in closer, reading the verse carefully. "But what does it mean?" Seungmin wondered.

"It feels like there's a hidden message here," Chan observed, his eyes scanning the lines intently.

You nodded in agreement, feeling a sense of frustration at the puzzle's ambiguity. "Let's break it down. Maybe there's a clue hidden within it."

Together, you dissected the verse, searching for patterns or hidden meanings. But despite your efforts, the true significance of the poem remained a mystery.

"We're missing something," you sighed, feeling a twinge of disappointment. With each passing moment, the answer seemed to slip further from your grasp.

"Wait a minute..." You glanced back at the screen, your eyes scanning the verse once more.

And then, it clicked.

"It's an acrostic," you exclaimed, excitement bubbling up inside you. "The first letter of each line spells out a word!"

Chan and Seungmin looked at you, puzzled at first, but then their eyes widened in understanding.

"H-I-D-E-S," Seungmin spelled out, realization dawning on his face.

"Exactly," you confirmed. "The answer is 'hides.'"

With a sense of accomplishment, you entered "hides" into the text box, and the screen flashed green, confirming your correct solution.

As the final puzzle materialized on the screen, the room fell into a hushed silence. The string of seemingly random letters stared back at you, taunting in its indecipherability.

"Looks.... like we have another code to crack," Chan remarked, his eyes narrowing in concentration.

You nodded, your mind already racing to decipher the hidden message within the jumble of letters.

"Bnmfqzstzshnmr..." you murmured, your lips moving silently as you attempted to decode the message. You paused, then couldn't help but chuckle. "Well, that's certainly a word… in some alien language, perhaps."

But despite your best efforts, the letters seemed to resist your attempts to unlock their meaning, the message remaining stubbornly cryptic.

"This is harder than I thought," Chan admitted, frustration creeping into his voice. 

You nodded in agreement, feeling a pang of disappointment. "Let's take a step back and look at it again. There must be a clue we're missing."

Seungmin sighed loudly and then quipped, "You know, if we had a Scrabble board handy, I bet we could score some serious points with this."

For what felt like an eternity, you and your friends wrestled with the puzzle, trying different approaches and strategies to crack its code. But each attempt seemed to lead to dead ends, leaving you no closer to unraveling its mystery.

Chan leaned in closer, his expression thoughtful. "There has to be a way to form words from this," he mused, his mind already working on potential combinations.

Seungmin chimed in, "Yeah but we shuffled the letters around and tried different combinations, and nothing makes sense."

But Chan shook his head, a spark of insight in his eyes. "What if we're approaching this the wrong way? Maybe we're not supposed to rearrange the letters, but instead, they mean something else altogether."

His suggestion gave you pause, prompting you to reconsider your approach to the puzzle. As you sat hunched over the puzzle, your fingers absentmindedly traced the delicate patterns of the bracelet wrapped around your wrist.

The bracelet adorning your wrist was an intricate design a mesmerizing tapestry of silver and sapphire. Delicate silver links intertwined with precision, forming a lattice-like pattern that shimmered in the soft glow of ambient light. At the center of each link nestled a small sapphire, its deep blue hue reminiscent of the ocean at twilight.

As the minutes ticked by, the tension in the room grew.

"Wait a minute," you exclaimed, a memory sparking in your head.

"Fetch!"

"I know I'm a puppy but I don't really feel like running right now." seungmin whined taking a sip of water from a glass.

"No. Not you Seungmin.... Fetch." you said again.

Chan looked at you quizzically. "All these letters translate to the word 'fetch'?"

"No. No. Fetch. The show," you replied.

"The kids show?"

"Yes."

Chan and Seungmin looked at you, their eyebrows raised in disbelief at the unexpected reference. It was as if you had suddenly suggested decoding the message using a recipe for chocolate cake.

"What?" Seungmin said incredulously. "How does a kids' show have anything to do with cracking codes?"

" Well there was this spy episode where they talked about how spies would communicate with each other."

Chan and Seungmin looked at you, intrigued by the sudden recollection.

"They would encode their messages using a specific key or pattern, so that only other spies code read it. Both sides would have the key to the code," you continued, the pieces slowly falling into place in your mind.

It was as if a light bulb had gone off in their heads, illuminating a path forward in the puzzle.

"A cipher" Seungmin said.

As the wheels of your mind spun in search of a solution, Seungmin's eyes widened. "Wait a moment," he said, reaching for his phone. With a few swift taps, he brought up an image of a cipher wheel on the screen.

"Look at this," he exclaimed, displaying the intricate design of the wheel to the group. "If we shift each letter by one place according to the wheel, it might reveal the true message."

Hope ignited within you as you examined the image, the simplicity of the concept striking you as a potential breakthrough. "That's perfect," you said. "Let's give it a try."

With Seungmin's phone serving as a guide, you and your friends set to work, shifting each letter forward in the alphabet. As you made the adjustments, the seemingly random string of letters began to take on new meaning.

With the screen now displaying the deciphered message, excitement filled the room as you all read the words:

"Congratulations! If you can read this, you have figured out that it is a cipher! Aren't you smart. The word is Member.'"

A collective sigh of relief and accomplishment swept through the group.

Chan eagerly stepped forward, confidently entering the password "Member" into the screen.

With bated breath, you awaited the response. And to your joy, the screen flashed green, confirming the correctness of your input. Excitement filled the room as you all realized that you had successfully cracked the code.

"We did it!" Chan exclaimed, a broad smile stretching across his face.

Seungmin chuckled, shaking his head in amazement. "I can't believe we actually cracked it."

But then, a new prompt appeared on the screen: "To find the Password, take all the words and put them in the correct order."

You exchanged puzzled glances with your friends. Taking a moment to gather your thoughts, you recalled each puzzle and the words associated with them: "important," "clues," "hides," and "Member."

With a mix of anticipation and caution, you entered the final code:

"Member hides important clues."

Anticipation hung thick in the air as you awaited the screen's response. Then, with a satisfying beep, the screen flashed green, indicating success.

The screen flickered for a moment, and then a new page loaded, revealing a chilling image accompanied by an address.

The image sent a shiver down your spine, its eerie composition and unsettling ambiance heightening your sense of unease. It depicted a dimly lit room, and in the center, a lone figure stood, their face obscured by darkness.

As you and your friends exchanged uneasy glances, the words below the image caught your attention.

"Come find me."

Beneath the message was an address, standing out against the ominous backdrop of the website. It beckoned you, and sent a chill down your spine.

What awaited you at the address?

Who had sent the messages, and why?

With your heart pounding in your chest, you knew that the journey was far from over. The address was a new clue, a new mystery waiting to be unraveled. And with determination burning within you, you knew that you had no choice but to heed the call and confront whatever awaited you at the designated location.

As the weight of the situation settled in, a tense silence enveloped the room. The address on the screen seemed to pulsate with a silent urgency.

You quickly pulled out your phone, fingers trembling as you typed the address into the search engine. The results were chilling—nothing but a desolate warehouse located on the outskirts of town, its exterior shrouded in darkness.

"Are we… are we actually going to go to that address?" you finally voiced the question that echoed in the minds of all three of you.

Chan's expression darkened with concern. "Absolutely not. This is not safe," he asserted firmly, his voice laced with urgency.

But despite his warning, a sense of determination welled up within you. The need to confront the source of the messages, to uncover the truth that had eluded you for so long, burned within your chest.

"I have to go," you declared, your voice resolute as you met Chan's gaze head-on. "I need to know who's behind this, and why they've been sending these messages."

Seungmin nodded in understanding, his expression mirroring your resolve. "You can't go alone," he stated firmly, his eyes meeting yours. "If your going, I'll go with you."

Chan's features hardened, his concern palpable. "No, absolutely not," he repeated, his voice stern. "I won't let you put yourselves in danger."

As Chan's insistence rang through the room, you felt a surge of frustration mingling with your determination. His concern was understandable, but you couldn't shake the feeling that you were on the brink of uncovering something significant.

"Chan, I appreciate your concern, I really do," you began, your voice steady but with urgency. "But we can't just ignore this. We need to follow this lead, find out what's going on."

Chan's jaw tightened, his gaze unwavering. "I understand that you want answers, but this is too risky. We don't know what we're walking into," he argued.

"But we won't find out unless we go," Seungmin interjected. "And Y/N's right. We can't just sit back and let this mystery go unsolved."

The tension in the room escalated as Chan's frustration became palpable. His brows furrowed, and his jaw clenched as he struggled to contain his rising anger.

"Seungmin, this is not up for debate," Chan snapped, his tone sharp with frustration. "I said no, and no means no."

But you couldn't let his resolve deter you from your mission. The need to unravel the mystery gnawed at you, driving you forward despite the risks.

"Chan, please," you pleaded, your voice soft but insistent. "I understand your concerns, but we can't turn back now. We have to see this through."

Seungmin nodded in agreement, his expression unwavering. "We'll be careful, Chan. But we have to do this."

"We're not doing this," Chan declared firmly, his voice leaving no room for argument. "You'd put yourselves in danger."

"But Chan, I'm already in danger," you countered. "Ignoring this won't make it go away."

For a moment, Chan's gaze softened, his features betraying a flicker of uncertainty. But then, with a heavy sigh, he shook his head, his resolve hardening once more.

"I can't let you do this," he stated firmly, his voice tinged with resignation. "I won't."

With a heavy sigh, Chan's frustration reached its peak. Without a word, he strode over to the computer, his movements tense and purposeful. With a swift motion, he slammed the laptop shut, cutting off the ominous glow of the screen.

With frustration boiling within you, you couldn't contain the anger that surged to the surface.

"Chan, you don't get it!" you exclaimed, your voice laced with agitation. "I'm tired of sitting back and waiting for things to happen. I need answers, and I'm not going to just let this slide."

But Chan remained unmoved, his expression stubborn and unyielding. "I understand that you're scared," he responded, his voice strained with frustration. "But rushing into this blindly is not the answer!"

"I've had enough of waiting and planning," you declared, your voice trembling with righteous anger. "I'm done playing it safe while someone out there is toying with me." His words only fueled your anger, igniting a fire within you that refused to be extinguished.

"I'm not asking for your permission," you continued sharply. "I'm going, with or without your support."

With resolve burning fiercely within you, you stormed away from Chan, determined to take matters into your own hands.

As you made your way to your room, frustration and determination mingled within you, fighting for dominance. With trembling fingers, you pulled out your phone and hastily composed a message to your bodyguard. Anger simmered beneath the surface, threatening to spill over as you fought back tears of frustration.

You told him to meet you at the house ASAP.

You hit send before second-guessing yourself, the urgency of the situation propelling you forward. As you waited for his response, the minutes stretched into an agonizing eternity, each passing second amplifying the tension that hung heavy in the air.

Finally, a notification chimed on your phone, and you breathed a sigh of relief as you read his response. "On my way," it read, accompanied by a reassuring emoji.

You hastily gathered the essentials: a flashlight, water, an extra phone battery pack, and anything else you thought might come in handy.

You hesitated, torn between your determination to move forward and the lingering sense of guilt at leaving Chan behind. But as he entered the room, you knew that you couldn't leave without at least attempting to persuade him to join you.

"Chan, I'm going whether you come with me or not," you stated firmly, your voice steady. "But I'd feel better knowing you're by my side."

Chan's gaze softened, his features etched with worry. "Y/N, this is dangerous," he protested, his voice pleading. "I can't let you go alone."

You took a step forward, closing the distance between you, and placed a hand on his arm. "Then don't," you urged, your voice gentle yet determined. "Come with me."

As Chan's hesitation lingered, his eyes searched yours for reassurance amidst the tense atmosphere of the room. You held your breath, the weight of the moment hanging heavy in the air, hoping fervently that he would agree to accompany you.

Finally, with a resigned sigh, Chan nodded, his decision apparent in the reluctant tilt of his head. "Alright," he conceded, his voice carrying the weight of his reluctance. "But on one condition."

Your heart skipped a beat, anticipation coiling within you as you waited for him to speak.

"You stay by my side at all times. If I can't touch you, you're too far," Chan insisted. His hand reached out, gently grasping yours. "If things get too dangerous, we turn back. I'm not leaving there without you in one piece. You hear me?"

You nod, unable to form any words.

"Y/n.. If anything happens to you..." His words faltered, the weight of his love filling the air. It was as if every syllable carried the weight of his fears, his heart laid bare before you.

His voice trembled as he fought to express the depth of his feelings. He paused, his gaze locking with yours, his eyes filled with an intensity that took your breath away. "I need you to understand, Y/N," he continued, "I love you more than anything in this world. I cant lose you.... Please."

With a solemn nod, you conveyed your understanding and acceptance of his words, your heart swelling with gratitude and love. "I love you too, Chan," you whispered, your voice barely above a breath but carrying the weight of your sincerity.

Without a word, he reached out, his hand gently cupping your cheek as he leaned in, pressing his lips against yours.

In that moment, the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the warmth of his lips against yours.

Just then, the sound of footsteps approaching broke the spell, and you turned to see your bodyguard leaning in the doorway.

Adam's muscular frame was outlined by the soft glow of the hallway lights. He wore a fitted black suit, the fabric stretched taut over his powerful physique, thanks to years of training and discipline. Despite the seriousness of the situation, you saw reassurance in his eyes, a silent promise to protect you with every ounce of his strength.

Adam, spoke, his deep voice resonated with a calm authority.

"Sorry to interrupt. Everything okay?" he inquired, as he took in the scene before him.

You and Chan exchanged a brief glance.

"We're heading out," you replied, your voice steady. "There's something we need to investigate."

Adam nodded, his expression serious but unchanging. "I'll be right behind you," he stated firmly, his commitment to your safety evident in every word.

As you turned to leave, you noticed Seungmin waiting nervously nearby.

"Seungmin, are you sure you want to come with us?" you asked. He nodded firmly, his eyes meeting yours.

With a grateful smile, you nodded in acknowledgment of his loyalty.

As the group prepared and gathered by the doorway, you filled in Adam on the details of what had happened.

"We need to consider who else we can trust," Adam suggested, his voice full of concern.

"I know it can't be Jeongin. He was with me when we first encountered the stalker an-"

Just then, there was a knock at the door, interrupting your conversation. You exchanged wary glances with the boys, none of you expecting any visitors at this late hour.

Felix stood on the doorstep, his brow furrowed in confusion as he took in the four faces staring back at him. "Did I leave my Switch here...." he asked, his voice trailing off. The dim light from the hallway cast shadows across his features, accentuating the lines of concern etched into his expression.

Felix's confusion deepened as he surveyed the group, dressed in dark clothing. His eyes darted from one person to another, searching for an explanation to the unexpected sight before him.

"Where are you all going?" he asked, his voice tinged with surprise and apprehension. His gaze lingered, silently pleading for an answer. You exchanged a quick glance with Chan and Seungmin, unsure of how much to reveal to Felix. 

But before you could respond, Felix spoke, his expression turned serious. "Look, I don't know what's going on, but it's clear that something's not right," he stated, his voice firm but compassionate. "And whatever it is, I want to help."

His words caught you off guard. You knew that bringing Felix along would add an extra layer of risk to your already risky mission.

"It's okay, Felix. We'll be back soon," you say, trying to navigate past him, but he remains unmoved, his gaze fixed on the group with determination.

"Uh, it's not really a trip to the store, Felix," you began again cautiously, trying to find the right words without revealing too much.

Felix's brow furrowed in confusion, his expression betraying his growing curiosity. "Then where are you guys going?" he pressed. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, an impatient energy radiating from him.

Chan hesitated, clearly grappling with how much to disclose. "It's... it's a bit complicated," he replied vaguely, his words failing to mask the unease in his voice.

But Felix wasn't about to let it go. "Complicated how?" he persisted, taking a step closer to the group, his curiosity piqued.

You realized that avoiding Felix's questions would only make things more suspicious.

"Felix, it's not something we can really explain right now," you finally admitted reluctantly. "But trust us, it's not something you want to get involved in."

But Felix remained resolute. "I don't care," he asserted firmly. " I'm going."

You exchanged a helpless glance with Chan and Seungmin, realizing that Felix was determined to accompany you, regardless of the risks involved. With a heavy sigh, you nodded in reluctant agreement.

"Fine, but stay close," you insisted. "And follow our lead."

Felix nodded eagerly, his expression filled with determination. "Got it," he replied, his voice brimming with conviction. "Let's go."

With Felix now added to the group, you all piled into the car. Felix sat in the backseat, his bright yellow shirt standing out like a light against the darkness of the night.

"You're too bright," you remarked, handing him a black hoodie from the backseat. "We don't want to draw unnecessary attention."

Felix nodded in understanding, slipping on the hoodie . As he zipped it up, his expression mirrored yours, a reflection of the seriousness of the task ahead.

With one last glance exchanged between you and your friends, the car pulled out of the driveway. The road stretched out before you, winding its way through the darkness like a path into the heart of the mystery that awaited you at the address you'd been given.

As the car came to a stop in front of the warehouse, a sense of apprehension settled over the group. The imposing structure loomed before you, its darkened windows and looming shadows creating an eerie atmosphere. The gravel crunched under the tires as the engine cut out, leaving an eerie silence in its wake.

Felix, ever the inquisitive one, couldn't seem to contain his curiosity. "So, what exactly are we doing here?" he asked, his voice filled with what sounded like excitement and fear.

The group, ignoring his question, stepped out of the car. The gravel crunched beneath their feet as they shut the doors with a bang.

Felix, sensing the gravity of the situation, followed suit, his curiosity still burning brightly despite the lack of response to his questions. With a determined stride, he joined the others, his gaze fixed on the structure before you. Unable to contain his curiosity, he piped up again, "Guys, seriously, what's going on? Why are we here?"

Chan shot him a withering look, his patience wearing thin. "Can you please just shut up for a minute?" he snapped, the tension of the situation beginning to take its toll.

Felix recoiled slightly, stung by the harshness of Chan's words. 

"We need to figure out how to get in," you interjected, redirecting the conversation away from confrontation. "Let's focus on that for now."

After a moment of scanning the building, its weathered exterior hinted at years of neglect, with broken windows and faded paint, Seungmin spotted a side door slightly ajar. "Over there," he whispered, gesturing towards the entrance.

"Let's go," you said, your voice low but determined. Chan stayed close, his presence reassuring you in the darkness. You felt the weight of his hand on your back, a silent gesture of protection. The rusted hinges creaked softly as Adam opened the door, as if protesting the intrusion.

"Stay close," Chan murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. With cautious steps, you all slipped inside, the darkness of the warehouse enveloping you.

The interior was dimly lit, the faint glow of distant lights casting long shadows across the floor. You moved forward slowly, your senses on high alert as you navigated the labyrinth corridors of the abandoned building.

As you ventured further into the warehouse, the darkness seemed to press in around you, suffocating in its intensity. But just as the shadows threatened to overwhelm you, the lights flickered to life, illuminating the interior with a harsh fluorescent glow.

For a moment, you were blinded by the sudden brightness, blinking against the glare as your eyes adjusted to the light. And then, as the scene before you came into focus, a gasp escaped your lips, a sharp intake of breath that caught in your throat.

It was a chilling sight that greeted you, a scene straight out of a nightmare. The walls were adorned with photographs and drawings, a chaotic collage of images that seemed to stretch on endlessly. 

There were photographs of you, hundreds of them, each one capturing a different moment in time. Some were innocent snapshots, while others were more sinister, taken from a distance or in secret. And interspersed among the photographs, were drawings, sketches that depicted you in various poses, some eerily lifelike, others distorted and grotesque.

But it wasn't just the images that sent a chill down your spine.

Scattered around were pieces of clothing, personal belongings that had gone missing over the past few weeks.

And in the center of it all was a single photograph, larger than the rest, framed in a gaudy gold frame.

As you stood frozen in shock, your eyes fixated on the central photograph framed in gold, a shiver ran down your spine. It depicted a moment of triumph, frozen in time. You, standing on stage, holding the award for Artist of the Year.

You stumbled backwards, your legs threatening to give out beneath you as the full weight of the situation crashed down upon you. This was no ordinary warehouse. It was a shrine, a twisted homage to your darkest fears and deepest secrets, and you were standing right in the heart of it.

Chan's strong arms wrapped around you in a protective embrace, steadying you as you stumbled backward.

With trembling hands, the world spun dizzily around you as you struggled to make sense of the nightmare unfolding before your eyes. But deep down, you knew that there was no rational explanation for what you were seeing. This was the work of a madman, a predator lurking in the shadows, waiting to strike.

 "What the hell is all this?" Felix exclaimed, his eyes darting around the room in bewilderment.

Seungmin's gaze flickered to the surroundings, taking in the eerie display with a mixture of dread and fascination. "It's like some kind of twisted shrine," he remarked. Felix's eyes widened in horror as he processed Seungmin's words, the gravity of the situation sinking in.

"Who would do something like this?" Adam murmured, his voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart.

You shook your head. "I don't know," you admitted, your voice trembling with fear and uncertainty.

As if drawn by an invisible force, the five of you stepped closer to examine the items scattered around the room. In the photographs and drawings, there were poloroid images of you with all the boys, your manager Zayne, and even your bodyguard Adam. Each picture was a secret snapshot, taken without your knowledge or consent.

Among the photographs and personal belongings, you noticed familiar items that didn't belong to you alone. Some were pieces of clothing worn by the boys, and others were personal effects that belonged to them.

"This is sick," Chan muttered, his eyes widening in horror as he took in the disturbing collection. "Wait.... these are Han's shoes," he exclaimed, pointing to a pair of sneakers tucked away in the corner. As he leaned closer, the intricate designs drawn on the shoes became clearer—Hyunjin's distinctive style evident in every stroke. "Hyunjin drew on them for him, remember?" he added, as he glanced at you for confirmation.

Seungmin's brows furrowed in concern as he surveyed the scene. "And those are Changbin's headphones," he noted, his voice barely above a whisper.

You felt a chill run down your spine as the realization sank in. Whoever had orchestrated this twisted shrine wasn't just fixated on you—they had been watching all of you, collecting pieces of your lives like trophies.

And then, as you continued to sift through the evidence, Felix's sharp intake of breath caught your attention. His eyes were fixed on a small camera lying among the other items, its sleek black exterior gleaming dully in the dim light.

With trembling hands, you picked up the camera, its weight heavy with the weight of its implications. The sleek black surface was marked with a small detail that made your heart sink:

HH initials engraved discreetly on the side.

Felix's eyes widened in recognition. "Wait... this is Hyunjin's camera," he exclaimed, his voice trembling with disbelief.

You froze, your heart skipping a beat as Felix's words sank in. Hyunjin had mentioned misplacing his camera not too long ago, but to find it here, in the heart of this twisted shrine, was beyond unsettling.

Seungmin's brows furrowed in concern as he reached out to inspect the camera. "But how did Hyunjin's camera end up here?" he questioned.

Felix shook his head, his expression a mix of confusion and alarm. "I don't know, but… look at it," he urged, pointing to the camera's worn exterior. "It's like it's been through a lot… and the photos…" He carefully picked up a photograph, holding it up to the dim light. The image, a faded Polaroid, matched the type that Hyunjin's camera would produce.

"T-They match." he stuttered.

Your stomach churned with dread as you noticed the telltale signs of wear and tear on the camera. It looked like it had been used extensively, as if it had been the one responsible for capturing the hundreds of photographs that adorned the walls of the shrine.

As you mulled over Felix's revelation, Chan's voice broke the heavy silence. " There's drawing's too," he added, his tone grim as he gestured towards a pile of sketches nearby.

You put the camera down and approached the pile of sketches, your heart pounding in your chest. As you sifted through them, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled over you. The drawings were indeed different, varying in style and execution, almost as if they had been created by two different artists or personalities. Chan picked up one of the sketches, observing it silently.

"Who else can draw like this?" he pointed out after a while, his tone grave. The style was unmistakable—it bore a striking resemblance to Hyunjin's artwork, the same attention to detail and fluid lines that he had meticulously honed over the years.

A knot formed in your stomach as you considered the implications. Hyunjin, your friend and confidant, had always been a pillar of support and kindness. But could he be capable of something so sinister?

Seungmin's expression darkened as he processed the possibility. "It doesn't make sense," he murmured, his voice tinged with disbelief. "Hyunjin wouldn't... he couldn't..."

The realization hit you like a punch to the gut, leaving you feeling sick and unsteady on your feet. Hyunjin, your friend and confidant, had always been a pillar of support and kindness. The thought of him being capable of such a sinister act was almost too much to bear.

As the conversation unfolded, your eyes flicked nervously around the dimly lit surroundings. Suddenly, a movement caught your attention—a figure standing atop the railing, shrouded in darkness and clad in all-black attire, their face concealed by a mask.

Your heart leaped into your throat as you caught sight of the mysterious figure, their presence sending a jolt of fear coursing through your veins. Seungmin and Felix followed your gaze, their expressions turning to shock as they spotted the figure.

"Who… who's that?" Felix whispered, his voice barely above a horrified murmur.

Chan's grip tightened on your arm, his expression grim as he took in the sight before him. "I don't know," he admitted, his voice tense with apprehension. "But we need to get out of here, now."

Your breath caught in your throat as you locked eyes with the mysterious intruder. Yet, before you could react, Seungmin's darted towards the railing where the shadowy figure had been perched just moments before, his footsteps echoing off the cold, hard surfaces as he ascended the stairs.

"Seungmin, wait!" Chan called out, his voice ringing with urgency as he reached out towards his friend. "Get back here!"

The figure, sensing Seungmin's pursuit, sprang into action, leaping off the railing and onto the platform below. As they landed gracefully, they wasted no time in breaking into a swift sprint down another flight of stairs and out the door.

You were torn between the impulse to follow Seungmin and the instinct to stay rooted to the spot, paralyzed by the surreal turn of events. As Seungmin surged forward, his voice rang out in the night, sharp and commanding. "Stop! Come back here!" he shouted, his words echoing off the walls of the deserted alley. But the figure showed no signs of slowing down, their pace unyielding.

As the figure dashed away, Seungmin in hot pursuit and Chan torn between following him and ensuring your safety, Adam leaped into action. With a swift motion, he bolted after Seungmin, his muscular frame disappearing into the darkness outside.

With Adam gone, Chan's attention snapped back to you, his grip on your arm tightening even further. "We need to go," he said urgently, his voice strained with worry. "Now."

As the tension mounted and the urgency to leave intensified, Felix remained steadfast, his phone in hand, capturing every detail of the eerie scene with precision. With each click of the shutter, he immortalized the chilling evidence before you.

"Felix, let's go!" Chan called out, his voice edged with urgency as he urged everyone to leave the warehouse behind.

"We can't leave without this evidence," Felix insisted.

Chan's patience wore thin, and he shot Felix a stern glare, his expression conveying a sense of urgency that left no room for argument. Felix, momentarily taken aback by the intensity of Chan's stare, quickly backtracked.

"Okay, let's go," Felix conceded, his voice tinged with a hint of apprehension as he hastened to join the group. With Felix now at his side, Chan led you out of the warehouse through the same door you came from.

As you made your way to the car, the adrenaline coursed through your veins drowning out the sounds of your footsteps, your heart pounding in your ears.

Outside, the cool night air offered a welcome reprieve from the stifling atmosphere of the warehouse. You breathed deeply, trying to calm yourself as you leaned against the cold metal of the building's exterior.

But even as you tried to push aside the unsettling thoughts that gnawed at your mind, one thing was clear:

the nightmare was far from over.

And until you uncovered the truth behind the twisted shrine and the person responsible for it, you wouldn't rest easy.

In the dim light of the alleyway, you could only catch a faint glimpse of Seungmin in the distance, grappling with the shadowy figure. Your breath caught in your throat as you watched Seungmin's valiant attempt to apprehend the intruder. For a fleeting moment, it seemed as though he had gained the upper hand, his fingers closing around the figure's arm in a desperate bid to restrain them.

But then, in an instant, everything changed.

The figure, desperate to break free, lashed out with surprising strength, delivering a powerful kick that sent Seungmin staggering backwards. With a sickening thud, he collided with the side of the building, his head striking against the unforgiving surface.

A gasp escaped your lips as you watched in horror, the scene unfolding before you in slow motion. Panic surged through you as Seungmin crumpled to the ground, his body limp and motionless.

Seconds later Adam appeared, racing to Seungmin's side with lightning speed. With practiced precision, he assessed the situation, his hands moving swiftly to check for signs of injury.

"Seungmin!" Chan's voice pierced the silence, his tone laced with urgency as he sprinted towards them, his footsteps echoing in the alleyway. His command compelled the rest of you to follow suit, each step heavy with dread and apprehension.

With every passing moment, the weight of the situation bore down on you, the reality of the danger you faced becoming all too real. As you all reached Seungmin's side, Chan knelt beside him.

"Seungmin, can you hear me?" Adam's voice was urgent as he gently cradled Seungmin's head in his hands.

But there was no response, only the haunting silence of the night, broken only by the distant sound of footsteps echoing in the darkness. Adam carefully examined Seungmin.

"He's alive. He's.......He's breathing, but he's bleeding."

"We need to get him to a hospital," Chan declared, his voice steady despite the panic that you all were feeling.

With Adam's assistance, Chan carefully lifted Seungmin's limp form, supporting him as you all made your way back to the car. Each step feeling like an eternity.

You quickly formulated a course of action, mapping out the fastest route to the nearest hospital.

As the car sped through the darkened streets, the urgency of the situation hung heavy in the air. With each passing moment, Seungmin's condition seemed to weigh on you more heavily.

Together, you navigated the twists and turns of the city, your eyes fixed on your friend as you raced against time to save him. And as the lights of the hospital came into view, you felt a surge of hope, knowing that help was finally within reach.

As you rushed Seungmin into the emergency room, the hospital staff sprang into action, whisking him away for immediate treatment. Your heart pounded with fear and anxiety as you watched them disappear behind the swinging doors, leaving you feeling helpless and alone in the sterile corridor.

As you waited anxiously for news of Seungmin's condition, your phone buzzed with a new message. With trembling hands, you unlocked your phone to find a text from the Unknown number that had been haunting you.

The ominous words sent a chill down your spine, a reminder of the danger that lurked in the shadows. Whoever was behind this was playing a dangerous game, and you were caught in the middle of it.

ઇଓ EP.6 - To be or not to be

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My more detailed thoughts on EP 2x04 :

Spoilers below the cut:

@emeraldinerosefaedragon pulled this quote about Armand, which I believe is from The Vampire Companion book, that I think encompasses very much what we saw by the end of this episode:

Do I think Armand is some huge grand mastermind, manipulating every single thing that is going on years in advance in a mustache-twirling villain-type of way? No, I do not.

But just because Armand's not that, doesn't mean he isn't cunning or smart. And that he can't think this way on the fly, especially when a new troublesome situation presents itself to him.

Armand had two main problems at the start of this episode: the coven grumbling about the fact that Louis was still not a member -- after almost two years it seems -- and Louis not viewing Armand as his companion.

And by the end of the episode? Well, both problems are pretty much solved, aren't they? Louis, in letting Dreamstat go, has made a choice to start to try and move on, with Armand the one he is choosing to have by his side. Louis didn't say it, but Claudia did -- Louis had decided, after that trek to the museum, to accept Armand as his companion.

Along with this Louis also decided, (after he comes to terms that his photography isn't going to go further for him after meeting with that photo editor guy), again of his own free will, to join the coven. Which now makes Louis bound to its ways and laws. Which, in the book, the Great Laws are just a fig leaf, but I think the show is having the TdV -- and had Armand too at first as well -- take them much more seriously . . . but that's a meta as to why for another time.

Anyway, at the end of the episode, the two main problems Armand had at the beginning of the episode are very much solved by the end. Louis is joining the coven and Louis is accepting Armand to him as a companion. And no, the solving of those issues was not a happenstance IMO. Armand even told Louis, rather directly at the top of the episode, that these two things were problems for him, and Louis just barely conceded to one of those two things at the start -- which is only that he'll "come around" and spend more time with the coven. By the end of the episode, however . . . Louis fully commits to giving Armand both things.

Do I think Armand might have had a bit of influence over what that photo editor said to Louis about his pictures? Hey, I can't prove anything, but it wouldn't surprise me if he did, given Armand's Mind Gift abilities (which, put a pin in this, as I'll get to talking about that in a bit). But, more than anything, I think Armand went with a strategic full-court press when it came to having Louis decide to commit to him as a companion wrt that whole museum date.

And, unlike Lestat, who held his trauma and vulnerabilities from Louis until things had reached a point of no return, Armand opens up to Louis about his past traumas and vulnerabilities long before it has even begun to get to such a point. But also because Louis is still reluctant to fully give himself over to truly being companions with Louis. But here, Armand is showing Louis that he will not withhold when it comes to such things as this -- something Lestat very much did withhold for a very long time.

However, a bit of dialogue from Armand during the scene where Louis is practicing his Fire Gift abilities is key when it comes to Armand's thought process when it comes to why he decided to share this about himself with Lous, as well as when it comes to solving issues in general IMO -- "I try to find the vulnerability within the object."

Which is what he says wrt how he uses the Fire Gift, yes, but I do not believe that it is something Armand just does when using the Fire Gift. I believe that comes to all situations in his life, especially when it comes to being a coven leader and master.

Lestat withholding in the ways he did made Louis feel not just frustrated but powerless. As Louis exclaimed just last episode, "Lestat didn't tell me shit!" Because even when Lestat did finally start to tell Louis (and Claudia) some things (about Magnus and Nicki) there was still very much he still withheld, even after that.

But Armand? Well, after that museum trip that withholding issue is starting to look quiet different with Armand than it was with Lestat, I'd say.

And in Armand's eyes, well . . . if even yielding can be a way of eventually gaining something, then so be it. Because who says yielding to something means that you must now also be in a weak position? IMO, it's very much like the adage about attacking from a defensive position.

This brings us to the end of the episode and seeing what Santiago, Celeste, and Quan were up to.

And can I say right now -- it actually doesn't matter one way or another if this ends up being a true mutiny by the coven . . . or if Armand is manipulating this stuff. For the record, I personally don't think Santiago and the others were under orders from Armand to go and search Louis and Claudia's apartment. But again, it doesn't matter one way or the other because there is just no way in hell a vampire as powerful as Armand didn't know he was being watched at that moment in the park with Louis.

Armand put not just the entire dining room but all his coven members -- including Claudia -- into a stasis state by just one command. (And no, that power isn't something from the books, but the show made it clear back in episode 2x03 that the ability to do this is part of the Mind Gift -- which is one of Armand's two most powerful abilities btw).

No. Armand knew damn well he was being watched. And frankly, I would not be at all surprised to learn that Armand could hear all that telepathic conversation going on between Quan, Celeste, and Santiago either. Again this episode already made it clear how powerful Armand's Mind Gift abilities are, plus that he can hear thoughts even when at a distance. (Such as when he got summoned from the museum wrt Claudia befriending Madeleine).

So, no. Armand knows damn well what is going on wrt the coven. The reason I don't think Armand was behind Santiago and the others doing this -- at least right now -- is only because I don't think Armand has decided, just quite yet, to fully choose Louis over them completely and therefore have the coven destroyed. I think that is a choice he is going to make -- due to some event, mostly likely the turning of Madeleine -- in Episode 6.

But once Armand makes that choice? That the coven has to go? He will use what he knows to bring that about. And probably winning the coven fully back to his side right before the trial is set up . . . in order to set everything in motion for their demise in the end, and having Louis all for himself.

(Where the Frankenstein Experiment comes into all of this I still can't figure out, but that can be put on hold for now.)

So yeah. Armand isn't a Machavelli. But he is smart and cunning and good at working out situations he finds himself in. To the point that, even when he appears to be yielding, he still ends up dominating.

Other things:

-- I've already been thinking that one of the reasons that the show made present-day Daniel older was because it was going to be part of helping Armand work through his issues with Marius. And now, after this episode and hearing from Armand's own mouth how much darker the show's version of Marius is -- and Armand's relationship with Marius is looking to be, I feel that all even more. Because now older Daniel will not only have the maturity to directly say what that relationship dynamic was . . . but it will also help Daniel himself understand why his past relationship with Armand was the way it was because . . .

-- I've also been thinking that, in many ways, Armand and Daniel's relationship in the past was going to mirror a lot of what we'd learn, and then eventually see, of Marius and Armand's past relationship. And I feel that even more so now. I think a lot of parallels will begin to be set up now that we, the audience have heard from Armand himself what his relationship with Marius was like.

-- I don't feel that was just a random slip-up by Daniel when he mentioned the theater fire. I think something else compelled him to say that. Well, something or someone else.

-- That final scene between Louis and Dreamstat was so sad. I really do think that Louis, at that moment, was accepting that Lestat was well and truly dead.

-- Those Talamasca files that Daniel has are not the full and complete files about everything. I was already suspecting that when Daniel was given them last week. But the fact that there are those 5 files (three images and two audio) related to Daniel? Nope. Daniel was strategically given what he was given. Because it's not like Daniel can verify if that is or isn't the complete files the Talamasca have about himself or anything else.

-- And speaking of the Talamasca . . . just like with the coven, I will be surprised if Armand doesn't know that he and Louis were being tracked by them at one -- or many other -- points in time. Though, in that instance, if he doesn't I won't look too sideways at it . . . given that I just finished reading the chapter in Prince Lestat that explains the Talamasca's origins. And Rolin Jones did note that Prince Lestat is one of the books this season takes information from, so . . .

-- I knew Santiago was going to get to Claudia's diaries at some point. But even then, I can't really tell if he truly likes her or is just 100% playing her. But, maybe deep down Claudia herself feels something off with him, or she wouldn't have sought out a friendship -- companionship -- elsewhere. I, personally, don't see what is developing between Claudia and Madeleine as romantic (eros) love, but there is love growing there -- for sure on Claudia's end, and I'd say affection (just right now) on Madeleine's. The show is probably being a bit careful on this, seeing as how Madeleine still thinks Claudia is just a kid, although it's also clear she's sensing something is different about Claudia as well.

So, all in all, very good episode. I actually like it more than last week's. It's still mostly set up, but it's set up with more movement to it when it comes to character development and plot IMO, which I really loved.

[telomeke]

4 MINUTES – ON GHOSTS, DEATH AND DYING (PLUS SOME THAI AND CHINESE CULTURAL REFERENCES)

The cogs and gears in my head are clanking and clunking away, trying to work out what the underlying plot logic of 4 Minutes might turn out to be. (And the machine upstairs seems a little rusty, to be honest! 🤣)

For the moment though, my money's on 4 Minutes as a supernatural thriller in which some of the characters are actually ghosts or spirits from another realm, interacting with humans still in the world of the living.

I've written more about it here:

And looking more closely, there are a few more clues that point in this direction – especially in the scenes with Lukwa, the only one of Den's interviewees who seems to have familiarity with the four-minute rewind.

My view is that Lukwa is a ghost, and that Den is one of the few humans who can see spirits and interact with them.

This is echoed by what Lukwa herself tells Den in Ep.4 – he's the only one who listens to her talk about her experiences after her heart stopped, unlike the others who seem to pay her no mind. I'm thinking everyone else is ignoring her not because they think she's crazy – but because most humans can't see her in her ghostly form, unlike Den who is blessed (cursed?) with the gift of second sight.

At their first meeting in Ep.1, Lukwa had already been scheduled to see Den (he knew her formal name was Arinya without looking up from his file). But she must have died just before the appointment time, and turned up in spirit form instead. This is why Den looked more than surprised to see her, because he had been expecting a living human interviewee, not a ghost. 👀

And this is also why Lukwa is clad in both black and white in this scene – she'd barely left the Four-Minute Zone (where the spirits are clad in black) and was transitioning to white (as is befitting of the ghostly dead) when she decided to keep her appointment with Den.

There are also some subtle visual details hinting that Lukwa no longer belongs in the world of the living.

In all three of her scenes (her two conversations with Den, and also when we see her in the Four-Minute Waiting Room), Lukwa is carrying a bag in which mesh (made of string) features prominently as part of the design composition. In Ep.1 it's a black mesh bag, in her Ep.4 impromptu visit with Den it's a bag with white mesh detailing, and in the waiting room, it's a white mesh bag.

I strongly think all this abundance of stringy accessories is a nod at a particular Thai funerary custom (among many others), in which a sacred string (called sai sin, usually white) is tied around the wrists of the deceased.

And when Lukwa first appears in Ep.1, the string handle of her mesh bag is looped around her wrist, which (I think) is signaling that Lukwa has already departed the realm of the living:

‌It's black rather than white, because Lukwa is still transitioning from the Four-Minute Zone (where black rules) to the ghostly realm (where white is de rigueur).

OK, so when we see Lukwa in the Four-Minute Waiting Room, one of the more unusual visual details is that oddly-positioned bed, deliberately skewed at an odd angle away from the walls:

I think this is a reference to the Thai superstition that beds should never be oriented to face west, because that is the direction reserved for the dead when they are laid out in their coffins at funerals.

Annoyingly, I can't find consensus online as to whether it's the top of the deceased's head that points to the west or rather the chin and feet that do. But no matter – I think it's enough to suggest that the bed Lukwa is perched upon is oriented such because it's the convention for the departed – and this must make her (and any other visitor to that room) one of them (and that includes Great, whom we see in the room with her 😥).

And this calls to mind immediately the scenes where we see Great waking up in his bed – it's also ominously positioned away from the walls (and thus echoes the Bed of the Dead in the Four-Minute Waiting Room). It's another hint that Great is a ghost too.

Still in the Four-Minute Waiting Room, that giant 04:00 projected on the curtain is probably some kind of timer, but we are not shown it counting down:

I think this timer has been counting up to four minutes, just like the giant projection in Great's apartment that we see counting up to 11:04 (which will likely mark the shutdown of his shared interlude with Tyme in the Four-Minute Zone). And as the waiting room projection has stopped at 04:00, this probably also means that both Lukwa and Great have left the Four-Minute Zone behind them and are in the room waiting to be admitted to the ghostly realm beyond.

So the projection is not really a clock, but it does call to mind all the various clocks in the preceding episodes.

And this is more a Thai-Chinese thing (rather than purely Thai), but clocks are also an ominous reminder of death. I'd originally not wanted to post about this (since this is a Thai show, not a Chinese one), but with Ep.5's nod at the Thai-Chinese significance of the numeral 4 and the realization that 4 Minutes is being broadcast (a little too coincidentally) during the Thai-Chinese Ghost Festival saat jeen I think it's worth mentioning.

So clocks in Chinese culture are often associated with death; you should never give a Chinese person a clock as a gift, because the words for "gifting a clock" (in Mandarin and Cantonese especially) sound like "paying one's last respects at a funeral" – song zhong (suggesting that the gift is also a wish for the recipient's death to be imminent).

Even without the gift-giving, the word for clock/钟 (in both Mandarin and Cantonese) is also a homonym for a word meaning death, demise or ending (终).

As a lot of Thai people have at least part-Chinese ancestry due to intermarriage dating back centuries, it's not inconceivable that quite a number of Thai viewers will recognize the ominous undertones every time a clock appears in 4 Minutes.

Although you don't need to know this to understand that a ticking clock also symbolizes time slipping away, which aligns well with the urgently palpitating heart of 4 Minutes, this convoluted supernatural gay romance thriller that has so many of us in a chokehold...

‌

[the1northlanderprincess]

And in the Darkness, bind them...ep 8 meta analysis, pt 1

**I decided to split this up because otherwise it'd get way too long. I've seen insanely lengthy meta before and it can be very hard on the brain.

It's go time, people!

Ok, I have finally (hah) watched the finale, so I could get some better context from the source as opposed to looking at soundless gifs (I'm weird like that). I'll be using screenshots to go over what I thought were the most important aspects of Haladriel's fight. I'll talk about the dialogue, the intonation, and even the music (which does include some critique of it).

The beginning:

Galadriel sees an opportunity right away to strike Sauron, as he has his back turned while kneeling by a very dead Adar. She sneaks up behind him, but, since he's Sauron, he senses her, and catches her sword with his crown. He has such intense eyes on her before turning his attention to the ring.

Upon seeing it, he says it's even more beautiful than Brimby described it. However, I feel there's more to it; a double meaning. Let's break it down. He hasn't seen her in goodness knows how long. Now that she's in front of him, Sauron is hinting at how attractive he finds Gal as if he's never seen her before, and has only heard rumors of her beauty.

Soon after, she frees herself from him and immediately goes on the offense, brought on by him demanding the ring. He parries her attack, in no rush to do much of anything. It's just as we suspected: he's playing with her. He's like, eh, I'll humor her. He goes as far as to tell her he "does not wish to harm her". But, much like a petulant five year old, she doesn't seem to care what she's told, and she is a little more forceful. Sauron's reaction is hilarious; he's like, seriously, woman?! I can't believe she's making me do this.

Later on, they move up to the ruins. Sauron has trapped her sword yet again, and he gives her the 'darkness' line again. When he says her name, it's in a chastising way, but there was something really attractive about it. He continues to press into her, pushing her against a boulder. A couple minutes later, this happens.

She talks about his illusions as Halbrand, but he tells her that "not all of it" was....in a completely breathless way, mind you. And, their faces are so close together! His expression is so vulnerable, likes he's mere seconds from getting on his knees and pleading for forgiveness. Anyway, some of you guys pointed out that he said it in his Halbrand voice. I'd like to think that he did it subconsciously; that, somewhere, deep down, a part of him is still present, which brings me to....

So, Gal gains the upper hand on Sauron and kicks him over the edge. When she creeps down the stairs, she's stopped in her tracks by the appearance of Halbrand in his armor. He repeats what he said to her on Their Log. I've read some posts saying he was mocking her. On the contrary, he sounded more melancholic and kinda sad. Meanwhile, she has this expression. Look at the poor girl; she's darn near ready to sob. I think I even noticed her lip quiver ever so subtly. He keeps his eyes on her as he walks back up, and she follows him as if she's in a daze. He has a hold on her, and I like that.

Now, while this was a lovely moment, I'm torn about the editing. So, the BTS vid shows him tilted his head up at her. The version we got is, like, BAM, he's right there. Also, Halbrand's theme here is a lot more subdued than it was in the released OST, and the music when we first see Halbrand is dark, then it cuts right to his theme. It's too stark. I like the chimes from the transition to the theme in the OST. Also, the underlying strings would add a more emotionally charged layer to the moment.

That does it for part one. Stay tuned for part two later on!

[feelbetterlove-books]

Oughhhh okay first of all, I am SO happy to see Bucktommy back on our screens and I WILL be mass reblogging things about them soon, fair warning! I took a bit after the ep to stop jumping up and down about how good it was, but then I came across the subject of this post and so first, to get it out of my system: a rant! It's not about the episode, probably not of any interest to most people, especially Bucktommy fans trying to protect their peace, so feel absolutely free to ignore this, I'll put it under a cut, I just have to get it out. I've been holding my tongue where bobs are concerned for the most part because I don't want to be mean/have a bunch of negativity on my blog/have any of them find and come after me like they're known to do, but idc rn.

So, there's this author I follow on insta, have followed for years, have read a few of her books and had the rest on my tbr. The ones I've read weren't mind-blowing or anything tbh, but for contemporary romances (not my usual genre) I had fun with them. What I really liked about her was that she is so outspoken about all of her books having bi characters: f/f and m/f. Bi4bi m/f, bi woman x straight man, bi woman x lesbian etc. I love to see bi rep and her efforts to make bi characters visible are great, I respected her for it and I found out last season, she's also a 911 fan! A Buck fan! Cool! She ships B*ddi3 but usually idc ship and let ship, I didn't think she was a Bucktommy hater.

That is, until tonight when I went on insta and saw her post. Bee cupcakes as the first pic, I went oh cute, for 911!! But then I scroll through the post and find this bingo card, the more I looked at it, the more I was like 😬 oh so she's a bob, huh? She only cares about Buck and his bisexuality if he's with E**ie? I didn't want to jump to conclusions, but then there's this in her stories (edits by me to highlight what I'm on about):

And I've blocked a LOT of blogs to try and avoid Tommy/Bucktommy hate so getting blindsided by this when I was in such a good mood enjoying our favorite guy's scene sucked. I literally felt sick about it for a while afterwards and I've decided to unfollow her and unhaul the books I own without reading more. It's not the first time I've stopped supporting an artist I was a fan of, granted this reasoning may seem dumb or petty to other people but I just can't get over it, I mean-

You're a romance author with 5 books published, I didn't think it was a stretch to assume you at least had some decent media literacy and appreciation for a good story/a sweet, queer, rom-com inspired ship. But you hate Tommy just because he's in the way of your ship? You champion bi characters, but will hate on the gay boyfriend of one who is breaking stereotypes and making people feel represented because you think his straight best friend would be a better match? Seriously?

And it's not only these two things, I looked her up on tw*tter, which I'm never usually on, but had logged into today to look at Lou's posts, and I found that she follows multiple people who I know to be particularly nasty Tommy haters/bobs. So. Yeah. I'm out of there, I just can't look at her the same anymore, not to be parasocial or whatever but she always seemed cool, I liked her, I wanted to support her work, I HAVE supported her work personally and as someone who works as a bookseller, I've pointed people to her books and sold them.

But now I just have a bad taste in my mouth. There has been SO much hate towards Tommy, Bucktommy, and worse, the real people who ship them, Lou, and even Oliver over the last few months, because it's constantly being stirred up by this kind of B*ddi3 shipper. I would feel sorry for them for how desperate and bitter they are if not for the fact that I simply cannot stand them anymore. They are miserable and determined to make Bucktommy shippers miserable, too.

I just don't get why people can't stay in their fandom lane and leave others alone?? Like, getting mad that Buck's ESTABLISHED BOYFRIEND and E**ie's FRIEND, WHO HE LIKES, was in one (1) scene, when it narratively made sense for him to be there to remind the ga of him, is pathetic. Tommy came to support E at the virtual birthday party of his estranged teenager, and make a heavy scene lighter and you're acting like he's some kind of monster. I can't even, I'm done!

I hope all the bestie boos will start to leave the fandom soon, when Tommy sticks around, because tbh they only care about one thing that's never going to happen and they don't even seem to have fun on their side of the "ship war". They're too busy being nasty all the time, can't talk about their ship without dragging ours down.

Anyway this rant is becoming more generalized than what I planned to say about that person and has already gotten sooo long, so I'm just going to post it to throw all my anger and frustration out there with it and then bury it with happy Bucktommy posts!! If any Bucktommy fan for some reason actually reads this 1. Oof. Sorry! 2. I 💙 you, Bucktommy fans are the best and I'm so glad to be in this fandom despite everything!!

[myechoecho]

Perfect Marriage Revenge, ep 6

I love this show so much.

Do Guk doesn't know what exactly has triggered Yi Joo so badly, but he is able to calm her down. He promises, again, to help her with whatever she needs. You can see that this is agony for him to see her this way and to know that she is not happy.

The cheekiness for Yi Joo putting her hand to her chest when she bowed to her mother. Yi Joo only looks happy when she's thinking about the revenge.

I see that Yoo Ra really thought she did something when she showed up in the wedding dress. But no, people there thought she was crazy and just look at the side eyes she's getting from the people behind her:

And Yi Joo was completely unbothered and got in the line about living her real life while Yoo Ra only has the love of online people.

The hurt but slightly amused look that Do Guk has when he realizes she's gone on a honeymoon without him. Still, she makes sure he is able to find her - though I don't know if she is consciously doing that.

Yi Joo thoughts are full of him. She has hard time accepting that he will be by her side. Then he shows up and she's not mad.

Do Guk has made the decision to tell her about the accident. As expected, Do Guk did not throw his brother over the railing. He was only guilty of being an annoying younger brother who tried to surprise his brother but it made his brother drop a keepsake from his mother by mistake. Which fair, I get being mad about that. But his brother tried to throw Do Guk overboard to "get the phone". It seems like they both went over the railing but only Do Guk was able to hold on. So yeah, his brother was a psycho from childhood and has lorded this incident over Do Guk ever since. It was so hard on Do Guk, especially since no one believed. It also kinda makes me wonder what Do Guk's relationship with his brother was before this incident.

Honestly, this was important for Yi Joo to fully see that he also very damaged but in a different way.

Do Guk has also decided to let her know about how he feels. For the first time, he takes her hand and not her wrist. She allows it. THEIR HANDS:

What follows is probably one of the funniest bits in the whole show. Which again, I don't mention it much but the show is genuinely funny and on purpose. I was dying that the whole who's going to take a shower first in the clear bathroom scene. She literally throws him down on the bed. He suggests they both just look. She's "scandalized", and it ends with him taking a shower first and then pushing the privacy button. Which she didn't know existed. He still taunts her to look and leaves the button right beside her in case she changes her mind. After all:

More importantly, Do Guk realizes that despite what she says, Yi Joo is VERY much aware of him as a man. But he doesn't press too much and lets her pretend to sleep.

I loved their their time at the beach and how she helped him with the ocean. He was able to do it because she was there. Though I suspect it would be very different it if they were in deeper water.

The next bed scene starts off as lighthearted and funny. The man just wants to sleep beside her. She doesn't protest that much and then slaps his ass and makes a line out of a blanket not to cross.

The scene then turns heartbreaking. I honestly thought that Yi Joo looked so happy at the beach but Do Guk can see her inherent sadness. He can also understand why.

He has to ask if she doesn't trust him and it's so sad when she says she doesn't. She actually does trust him, to a huge degree, but not fully. Yi Joo explains that he's not just him it's everyone she cannot trust because everyone has let her down.

But even though she says she doesn't trust him, she opens up even further and tells him about her identity which must have made the pieces fall into place for him about how she's been acting recently.

She kisses him, but then also says she can't love him. Which quickly changes to shouldn't which is a huge difference. But he tells her HE can love her. To be honest, this is pretty heartbreaking because is it so not healthy for Do Guk and even he understands that. This man is doing the heavy emotional lifting in this relationship. It's going to be incredible when she finally lets herself love him.

Despite what she says she does want that connection with him, which is why she reaches out to his face. Not sure I wanted their first time to be oblivion sex but she definitely wants him as she's desperately trying to get his shirt off, which he gladly whips off along with his watch. I'm not exactly fond of how he said no when she asked him to pause but she didn't push it further and she's kissing him back. We do get to see he has the same date in his wrist.

I love, love, love how Yi Joo is taking the gallery away from her mother and Yoo Ra, with Do Guk fully at her side. I don't like Yi Joo's father but I do like how he asks Yoo Ra why she should get the gallery when she says it should be hers. Even better, she cannot even explain why the gallery should be hers other than she's great at social media. But Yi Joo points out she cannot quantify if that has turned into sales. Yi Joo, however, can show that she's brought value to the gallery considering her mother has been secretly selling her paintings and she is considered a hot artist.

Last couple of thoughts:

cackling at Se Hyeok finally banging the woman he loves only to have her get engaged to someone else. SUFFER

Jung Wook sucks at business apparently, and is okay bribing people which Tae Ja does not want. No wonder she wants Do Guk to inherit he business

I love that Do Guk's mom immediately knew that Yi Joo's mom was selling her paintings on the sly. And that despite what Yoo Ra says, Yi Joo has a friend in Do Guk's cousin

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

Sam Messed Up + Tria Prima Ramblings

There are a few solid CAT# but one I really like is that it's based on if an incident affects the body, mind, or soul of the victim. This started off as an offhand example I used to explain how they could work, but there are a lot of fun links to it and will now make a semi-baseless accusation to continue to support it

Sam can't file documents correctly even when being told explicitly what to do.

Anyway, CAT#'s have been shown to have the following values, either in the show or on the Klaus doc: 1/2/3/12/13.

It stands to reason that if 13 can exist these are non-mutually exclusive categories and so 23 and 123 can also exist. And if an incident can be both 1 and 3 it would appear that these represent discrete facets of an incident's manifestation.

Given the show's obvious alchemic motifs it's not a huge leap to link that to the tria prima, alchemy's three primes; soul, spirit (mind), and body. These are represented by sulfur (🜍), mercury (☿), and salt (🜔) respectively. Each of which can be found on the OIAR's logo.

The strongest link here is that 3 is Body/Salt/🜔. Daria's transformation (full) was CAT3, ink5oul has 🜔 on their insta bio, and body is even the third thing in the list. Which is a great start.

We've also got transformation (eyes) at CAT23 which also helps back that up. There was an elemental of paranoia and mental manipulation to it as well as the transformation itself. That tracks really well for Spirit/Mercury/☿, which in alchemical terms is mind as most people would think of. CAT2 was also the watching doll which does also track.

The problem for me is with the last of our categories. CAT1 in the show has only been seen for reanimation (partial), combined with the extra context that said reanimation was "amalgamative", and I don't think that lines up well with a basic idea of Soul/Sulfur/🜍. If this was CAT13 I'd be all over this but I think given there is a strong emphasis of the physical body being an important detail here then it's not entirely convincing. Greater context could make it a stronger case though, if lots of undead ends up in CAT1 then it'd probably a sure thing.

The real problem with this idea is that Dr. Webber's incident seems to almost entirely disprove it. It was CAT2 and while it obviously had a strong mental component it's undeniably a huge physical transformation so it'd have to be CAT23 to really make this all make sense.

Which brings us to Sam. Sam definitely made one obvious mistake with the case number of Ep 3's incident. I think he also made a major mistake in its header. Both of which have solid foundations in the show's text. But I also think, somewhat seriously, that a third mistake has been made with the metatextual reason of obfuscating the meaning of this system.

So, after the incident plays and Sam talks to Alice about it she pretty explicitly tells him what it should be filed as. She says "“Infection” comma “arboreal”. Cross link it with “guilt” if you’re feeling fancy.", but this is what we get instead:

CAT2C8175-03042009-22012024 Infection (full body) -/- arboreal

Ignoring the header for the time being there firstly a very obvious and inarguable mistake. He missed out the R, and they all get the R because it's just a label. The header is also close to being different than what Alice mentions and arboreal as a crosslink specifically doesn't seem to fit in with the more emotional or mental elements crosslinks have had to that point. Arboreal doesn't fit in with regret, trespass, or dysmorphic, but guilt does. Which would make this the seemingly more correct case number and header:

CAT2RC8175-03042009-22012024 Infection (arboreal) -/- guilt

But based on the tria prima theory I'm now wondering if it's not meant to actually be this:

CAT23RC8175-03042009-22012024 Infection (arboreal) -/- guilt

And the 3 was removed to obfuscate the case numbering format. Because the stuff that was "wrong" is fairly obvious to find if that's all that was wrong with it but removing a digit from the CAT# is basically impossible to show unless you know for sure what's meant to be there. It's the sort of mistake that hides really well in ignorance, which makes it a great data point to screw with because of how it breaks ideas.

[miss0atae]

Random Thoughts about The Rebound Ep 5 and 6 :

Let's give credit where its due, The Rebound remains a compelling story and these two new episodes haven't changed my view on the series. It's truly an interesting sport series. Even if you're not a fan of basketball or a fan of the main actors. I'm neither of those and I still find a real pleasure watching it. I would even say, it shouldn't deter you from giving it a chance.

▪️ So Ryu and Zen were back to square one in their relationship and they couldn't stand each other anymore in these episodes. Their disagreement was starting to be an obstacle for the team as they were constantly fighting on the court. Their coach figured out a way for them to make peace. He forced them to be tied to each other for 24 hours. When you can't escape the other one, you're forced to deal with it. It was easy to see they both missed each other, but what happened in the past is still remaining a sore point between them. Of course, Zen is still sad and lost about the disappearance of Ryu in the past, but we kind of get pretty fast that it's not the only thing which hurt him. From the beginning of the 5th episode, we had a flashback of Ryu and Zen when they were in middle-school. They were both showering and helping rubbing soap to each other. Then, they got this moment… There are a lot of interrupted moments between them. Zen was fully expecting Ryu to kiss him and he was eager to do it… but then Ryu freeze and decided not to do it. I believe Zen was clearly hurt by this too. Even if he can't really say it out loud, he has these very strong feelings for Ryu and he finds himself constantly disappointed by him. While being force to stay together all the time, Ryu and Zee's anger quietly dissolved to make they find their strong bond again.

▪️ The state of the team is totally linked to whatever Ryu and Zee are feeling when they are playing with the rest of the team players. When they are both in their right mind and happy with each other, the team is able to success in anything they want to do. Otherwise, when they are at odds or something is bothering them, the team isn't able to work well together. I'm not saying the rest of the players are just here to make contrast, but most of them remains solely background character. Only few of them seems to be important to the story: Jed who is mostly the comic relief, Prince who has a special bond with Jed (but it remains to be really seen), Shogun who is the basketball prodigy and Jedi as Ryu's friend. Lin is totally the token girl of the series who will be used to create some tension between the main couple as she has a crush on Ryu. Thankfully the story seems to have provided her with an alternative choice when she will see that she has no chance of being with her crush.

▪️ Last week, I thought it was Ryu who was hurt because he couldn't get Zen to see his feelings for him. I felt he was the one who was showing more his love. I think it was because both Q and Atom questioned him about it. It made me think it was him who was, at the moment, more in love or more aware of his feeling. However, now that I watched episode 5 and 6, it seems to me that it's the opposite. Zen is the one who has already accepted his romantic feelings for his friend, while Ryu isn't really sure about it. I mean, he likes/loves Zen. It was shown countless times, but at the same time, he doesn't really want to talk about it or to make others know about it. By the end of episode 5, we get a kiss between them. It was full of lingering feelings for something they wanted to experience before, but didn't get to. The way Ryu was slowly moving his face towards Zen to kiss him sweetly. He was also stroking Zen's hand. It felt to me like he was finally experiencing something he deeply wanted to do, for a long time. Ryu didn't have any hesitation and gladly consented to this kiss because it is also something he desires. The moment is truly precious for them and it is reinforced by the melody of the soundtrack. However, when Ryu heard the sound of the dropped bottle, he quickly opened his eyes and you could see how scared he was and he turned over fast. It left Zen alone who was still looking at him, as if he was still processing everything. Ryu was flustered and he was looking at the ceiling, while Zen was still looking at him, hurt again. I get deeply emotional thinking about this scene.

▪️ Let's talk about Atom now. I have to make amends. I was so hard on him last time after I described my thoughts about episode 3 and 4. I felt like we couldn't trust him and he would hurt Zen… Turns out, he is better than I thought he would be. I think he really wants to make a friend. Since he never really seems to have a real friend in his life, the first person who was nice to him, he got too attached. The way he wants to be close to Zen is so wrong, but at the same time, I believe he just doesn't know how to do it. That's why it gets across as clingy and a bit controlling. I'm not saying he is right. I'm just feeling like he needs to understand boundaries and how to create a healthy friendly relationship with someone. There is also the fact, that he doesn't just want to be friend with Zen, but he also has a tiny crush on him too. Atom has grown in a family that expects him to devote his time to sport. His father seems to be really authoritarian and Atom can't really do what he wants. It seems he made really a lot of effort to be available when he met Zen. I felt bad for him. It is not easy to grow up in a family where you have to constantly prove your worth and when they expect you to stand out. Now we know he is also a basketball player in a rival team. I'm glad he remains true to sport values and didn't befriend Zen because of this. Of course, he becomes the perfect love rival for Ryu and he seems determined to be close to Zen. I wonder what it will bring. Now that he is again in my good book, I feel like I'm back with the same dilemma I had while watching Deep Night where I couldn't decide if Seiji had to be with Pan or Ken.

▪️ I also felt really bad for Q. It seems to me that he is stuck in this life without any way of escaping it. Yes, his relationship with Boss Tos is hot, but at the same time it’s kinda pitiful. There is nothing sexy or healthy in their relationship. Q doesn’t seem to have any feelings for him and he only has sexual intercourse with him to protect Ryu. However, it’s not exactly working well and he is back into threatening Ryu to work for them and to play street basketball. Q is always dragging Ryu back to the trappings of his past. At the same time, we can’t deny the protectiveness Q has for him. I really think he has his best interest at heart, but unfortunately Q is not a big shot in the “streets”. He is just a small fry.

I really want to see what is going to happen in the next episodes.

[fountainpenguin]

I think the fundamental thing about Ep. 1 Martyn-Cleo [Zombiewood] dynamic IS that it's about misunderstanding... but in an interesting way.

Martyn spends Episode 1 mostly in the mines (getting armor; not unusual for Day 1), but he and Pearl do search the Overworld. They run into several people, but not their soulmates.

Once Martyn has a water bucket and finds a lava pool, he opts to go to the Nether because he wants potion resources, which would set him and his partner up well.

- In the previous season, the Southlands (Martyn's allegiance) struggled because they didn't have a brewing stand for most of the game, so they tried to steal one from Team BEST (iirc). - He says in Episode 2 (granted, after he's had a week to come up with a defense) that he wanted to bring his soulmate gifts so he wasn't showing up emptyhanded, because that's rude.

So, decent reasons to go to the Nether: he'd taken the time to get armor and now he's after an item he'll regret not having if the other teams start brewing potions later. It would only take one jerk breaking the blaze spawner to limit potion access for everyone else.

But Martyn going to the Nether is super confusing to Cleo, who gets the notification that he's gone into the Nether, but remembered potions were against the rules that season.

- Cleo is acting under the assumption that Martyn also remembered potions were forbidden, so they're flummoxed as to why he would go somewhere he has 0 chance of meeting his soulmate. Clearly, he is goofing off for no reason. - Further confusing for them, Pearl entered the Nether right behind him, implying they're allies. Cleo cannot fathom what possible reason Martyn has for what he's doing- Just that he doesn't seem to care about having a soulmate and seems to have picked Pearl as his buddy instead. - Write him off, king. You don't need him.

When the "potions are banned" reminder dropped in chat, Martyn panicked. At that time, he'd been trying to barter those resources to Bdubs and Impulse, but when he got the reminder, he hurriedly closed the deal and scored unlimited access to their cows.

- In his mind, he messed up, but recovered well and came out with a great deal; that's gotta be worth something, right?

In my mind, when Cleo figures out in later episodes that Martyn forgot potions were forbidden, she's more willing to see his side. This is why she apologizes to him in Episode 3 for judging him harshly.

- Cleo makes comments throughout the season that she's willing to take him back if he apologizes. - She recognizes his mistake and stops holding it against him, but wants him to indicate he's willing to work through things with her. She can't put her trust in him until she knows he'll work with her without resenting her. - She remains emotionally aloof, but doesn't push him away. Scar sets her and Martyn on a date and she tolerates it. She plays along with Martyn and they lightly try to mug Bdubs on their walk home. - She even invites him to stay in her base after Etho and Joel grief his and the warden drops down in Ep 3, and Martyn says he might take her up on that- after he killed her that episode. [Martyn POV 49:04]. - In the end, she even shares stuff from her Red Life base. She keeps a wall up, but stops begrudging him so harshly.

Martyn, I think, is slower to come around to Cleo's POV that the items were useless. I think his vision is "It was a risk worth taking. It didn't work out, but if that HAD been allowed, I would have set us up for success and it would've been a gamechanger."

- It didn't pay off, but he has no regrets and sees no reason to apologize. - If his early Episode 2 dialogue is to be believed, Martyn is convinced that Cleo cheated on him first. He says this to Jimmy 14 minutes (in his "When is she going to think about mending OUR bridges?!" rant). And to be fair, Cleo was already living with Scott and calling him her chosen soulmate when Martyn finally met up with her, so you can see his confusion. - Martyn does apologize when he wants to. He goes from 0 to 100 apologizing after accidentally killing Cleo by punching them off a cliff and losing their first life, because he legitimately and completely knows he messed up. - He also apologizes to Pearl for breaking up with her, which was a heat of the moment decision he made after Cleo dumped him. He just ?? refuses to apologize to Cleo, because he doesn't get it. - And b/c he's probably playing the divorce quartet bit up, but shhh...

He wasn't there to see Cleo when they were confused about why he ran off to the Nether. I think Martyn focuses on "Cleo is mad at me for getting hurt, which is stupid because I came prepared with food and armor and was trying to be careful. Yeah, of course I got a little hurt- I was fighting blaze and ghasts! She expects me to be perfect, and I'm only human. She expects me to read her mind; she's so high-maintenance."

- Martyn's also so mean to Cleo in Ep 2 and that's worth pointing out. They're both victims of misunderstanding, but they're also petty and mean. - It's very funny how much he insists to the audience that "this is all Cleo's fault currently" - either because his character is refusing responsibility or is genuinely confused - and it's wild how much he lays into Cleo by telling her she's being "childish, immature, and really selfish." They are such a mess <3 Terrible job, everyone /jk - He just so badly wants to distance himself from blame (and be in the right) that he's not focused on if this hurts them or burns his bridge...

After Cleo cuts ties early on, Martyn does try to "be a good partner" while staying outside their house. He just... shows his efforts in comedically terrible ways, like building a giant heart in front of their door or watching them through his spyglass.

- Shout-out to Martyn in the dead of night hiding in trees and watching Cleo until he's determined that "she seems safe, she seems happy, she seems healthy" before he goes to do something else. I'm not saying stalking is good, I'm just saying it's hilarious for his clingy ex persona. - Just rewatched and it's Martyn who's the first to tell the audience he's putting his heart on the line and Cleo can connect back up with him if they ever want to. I thiiink Cleo in Episode 3 seems to think she was the first to have the idea of symbolically connecting their bridges - seeing as she tells Martyn later that he needs to put in the work to meet her bridge halfway - so that's kind of funny. They're on the same page, so close yet so far; I want to shake them-

In Episode 2, he defends himself by claiming he was "providing" and "putting food on the table," and he's probably still proud of the fact that he scored unlimited cow access despite accidentally pursuing banned items.

- Up until Cleo corrects him later in Episode 2, Martyn operates under the assumption that Cleo might take him back, but Scott is whispering in her ear and warning her not to. He tells the audience that "He doesn't like it" and that he's "going to wait until they've parted ways to do anything else." Yeah... How'd that work out, buddy? - Interestingly, Martyn cites Scott as a bad partner because "He's all about building cottages and flowers while meanwhile [Martyn] is trying to get the most powerful items in the game." - Side note, but Martyn's stress levels going up when he sees Cleo's outdoor furnace is my everything. it's so funny. "Take it inside! Look, he's ruining you!" He has such strong opinions about outdoor safety... - Martyn seems to be operating under the assumption that Cleo's already turned her back on him and won't really forgive him unless he proves he's a good ally. He clings to things that will make him [and Cleo] stronger and safer, so he offers to enchant Cleo's gear while he's heading down to the Deep Dark to enchant anyway, even though they're on poor terms. - Which is so... ahughuggh to me because Cleo asks him why he'd even want her and says "What do I bring to the table? I mean, really. I bring rubbish PVP skills and pithy one-liners" and Martyn's immediate response is that he loves pithy one-liners and doesn't care if she's bad at PVP because he'll handle it. "I bring the skills, you bring the vibes." Just?? Lovely dialogue, fantastic improv; no notes. - EXTREMELY funny to me that when Cleo and Martyn part ways, he tells the audience that 1) He thinks it went well and they're actually genuinely on the same page, 2) He's convinced he misjudged her at first, 3) He believes Cleo is scheming to trick her allies into protecting her, and 4) He's going to play up his broken heart base design and pretend he and Cleo are more at odds with each other than they actually are to fool the other teams... ... meanwhile in Cleo's POV she's like "Yeah, I had to talk to him about strength and the value of having allies in a way he'd understand so he'd go away" sdfklj. She reads him so well there and Martyn is... like that.

Anyway, when Martyn and Cleo talk early on, Cleo pushes this idea that Martyn went to the Nether, got hurt, and it was annoying because she had to use her food to save his life (especially when she saw no purpose in him being there and probably thought he wasn't taking the game seriously).

But I think the core of her hurt is more along the lines of "I can't fathom any reason why he'd be in the Nether unless he straight-up doesn't care about finding his soulmate."

- Which!! what I'm trying to say is, Martyn doesn't get why this is her conclusion. His thought process seems to be "Of course I care! That's why I'm trying to get valuables so we'll have an advantage in the game!" He and Pearl defend themselves by saying they DID look for their soulmates. - Cleo and Scott focus in on "Why did you go somewhere with no people, then?" They knew potions were banned and (judging from their Ep 1 convos) don't seem to consider the possibility that such a thing was forgotten. Thus, it's upsetting their soulmates left them for no perceivable reason and paired up with each other.

Martyn I think focuses more on "My soulmate thinks I hurt myself" - In Episode 3, he claims he "hasn't been dangerous since then," and Cleo acknowledges he's been better at not taking damage. But it's not about the hurt... it's about being ditched.

- There's a certain level of being ditched that Cleo can take, which I think is why she's more accepting of him after finding out he forgot potions were banned. She's not mad he wanted good resources- she was mad that she saw him go to the Nether because to her, going somewhere with 0 people meant he had no interest in finding his soulmate. - She forgives him after she realizes he made an honest mistake and wasn't being malicious. She keeps a safe distance, but she tolerates his presence and even forms a secret alliance with him. - And I think Martyn understands and acknowledges that Cleo is frustrated... for taking damage, or for taking so long to find her (which he'd probably chalk up to bad luck since he and Pearl did wander that map looking for people). - But instead of doing the one thing she asks him to - apologize - he tries to show what a useful ally he is... while Cleo's looking for evidence that he can be emotionally self-aware, so she can put down that wall and trust him. - Also they attack each other and it's great. Martyn walks off and insists he killed her as a joke, this would hold up in a court of law despite Cleo's giggled protests, and he's now banned from pudding for two weeks... very silly.

tl;dr - I have so many thoughts about them and wanted to put my interpretation into words :p

They counterbalance and play off each other so well, and it's a shame (in a beautiful storyline kind of way) that they came crashing down. But I love it so much... The mortifying ideal of soulmates passing like ships in the night.