#i also can't fight and have chronic pain

[kindlykolorful]

look it's me in bolas rojas team!

[ghostlyschizophrenic]

fingers crossed but it looks like i'm starting to stabilize. i had a relatively normal day yesterday, and while i still had more drastic mood swings than i would have at baseline, i wasn't overly manic and i also didn't feel suicidal when going to bed so i was able to fall asleep pretty quickly and without music at full volume in my headphones. i woke up naturally this morning around 8am instead of 4am or sleeping until someone wakes me up to tell me it's already noon and i feel pretty rested and able to focus. i'm almost caught up on my quantitative reasoning homework assignments and i'll be back up to being ahead of the class content wise.

i see my psychiatrist in a week so i'm going to keep monitoring it and let the new dosage adjust to my system but maybe, just maybe, my bipolar 1 is starting to recede!

[autumnalhalcyon]

.

[thelovelyblark-barg]

I'm so tired of having a body that has never liked me

the corkscrewing spine, the tonsils the constant size of ping pong balls, the cyclical vomiting syndrome, the chronic migraines, the periods that go for anywhere from 3 weeks to 3 months,

[shadowed-yet-vibrant]

I have had severe, anaphylactic-level peanut and tree nut allergies my entire life. Allergies are absolutely disabling. I agree with every point in the OP, and have some of my own (particularly based on nuts, but these apply to many other allergies as well).

It limits job opportunities, because it eliminates all food service jobs as possibilities. Even a local neighborhood cafe will almost certainly have those allergens on hand.

It makes transit risky. A friend's vehicle, a public train or bus, and especially airplanes, all become terrifying mobile prisons that could have your allergens lurking on any handle, seat, pole, or the shared air.

It limits how you can interact with your pets. Dogs love peanut butter, and it's crammed into tons of treats and toys. It makes dog parks and the vet dangerous, and means you can't give your dog something they'd love. It also makes interacting with friend's and stranger's dogs risky.

It limits what you can drink. The USA does not require allergen labels on alcoholic beverages, and between the popularity of "peanut butter" brews for beer and the longtime use of almond liqueurs, any shared facility or packaging line can be a fatal crossover. There is also no requirement to label wheat or gluten, and it can be found even in liquors that don't traditionally use it.

This may be the same routine I've had since I was 6 years old, but that doesn't make it any less terrifying or any less disabling. I will live with my allergies for the rest of my life, and they will continue to put my life at risk. How I interact with my friends, my family, and the public, will forever be dictated by my allergies. They are absolutely a disability, and deserve to be taken seriously.

you know what. i've always been hesitant to describe my anaphylactic food allergies as a disability because "it's just allergies" but if you look at the numerous ways this has affected my life as an adult (because everybody only talks about kids having anaphylactic allergies):

no restaurants or fast food

no store-bought food from small companies (less accountability/resources to prevent cross-contamination)

no candy or desserts (unless they are 100% homemade, which takes a lot of time and energy if you have other disabilities like i do)

no hand-washing dishes (every place i live in has to have a well-functioning dishwasher)

no kissing people on the mouth/lower half of the face

other people cannot kiss me/put their mouth on me

no allergens in the house (really difficult to enforce with non- immediate family members!!)

always having to cook my own meals/bake my own treats/desserts

no sharing drinks/food with other people

no food cooked in other people's houses/kitchens

always having to bring my own "lunchbox" to family events, work or school, all-day events, or any other situation in which i could THEORETICALLY need to eat or drink something other than bottled water

calling food manufacturers to verify label information on new/changed foods

and none of this is counting the avoidance behaviors i developed with obsessive-compulsive disorder around age 13 in response to the panic attacks i'd have remembering about the anaphylactic shock i experienced at age 10.

i was taught to read labels at age 5. i was taught how to use my own epi-pen at age 6. my parents and i have always been careful and responsible about my allergies. it's not "i just don't like this food", it's "if i eat this my throat will swell up and block my trachea AND i'll go into shock from low blood pressure." as inconvenient as it might be for YOU, you can learn these things too and save a life. happy disability pride month; stop being a dickhead

i don't usually talk about my allergies because it gives me a LOT of anxiety but i felt this was important to share, because most people have no idea what being an adult with allergies is like. life went from "everyone at the birthday party gets a cupcake but me and i'm sad" to to "if i want to kiss someone i like, i have to make sure she hasn't eaten anything i'm allergic to in the past few days" (which is like. hugely awkward to ask of someone holy shit) or "i have to turn down the meal from my friend's mom even though she has the best of intentions and now she thinks i'm an asshole"

[ryanjudgesthings]

There's a mistake I see a lot of people in the mental health community make and in all honesty, it's one I've made myself. But I think we should really work on it. And that's saying "if this were a physical illness, wouldn't you care?"

I've learned that no actually, people wouldn't care. Katelyn Weinstein (theADHDprincess on Twitter) is a neurodiversity acceptance activist who really put this in perspective for me. She said that it's actually more an issue of longevity than physical vs mental health.

If you're having a bad day people will generally be understanding. But when you're experiencing chronic depression and you have many bad days people lose sympathy.

In the same respect people may be understanding when you've broken a bone that will heal properly or when you have a cold that will go away soon in ways they simply won't understand when you have chronic pain or need to use a wheelchair. They may send chicken soup for a temporary situation, but when you need consistent accomodations it's an entirely different story.

I understand that from our perspective it looks like people care more about physical health than mental health, but it's good to remember that our own perspective is also limiting. Facing ableism doesn't mean you can't be ableist. And I know so many people are not ill-intentioned when they say this. I know I wasn't. But we can't discount the lived experiences of physically disabled people. If we want true equality we need to be united and we need to listen to those with physical disabilities and illnesses. And those with physical disabilities and illnesses (some of which are also invisible) have said that they are not given proper accomodations either.

So let's be united and fight for equality and accomodations for everyone, no matter what their illness or disability may be.

[ultimate-marysue]

I feel like a lot of the Batfam fandom misrepresents the sibling relationships not out of some inherent lack of reading comprehension, but just cause they're only children.

Listen, the sibling experience is so weird. Like, you'd die for each other, you ignore them most of the time, once you move out you barely speak with them (not even your favorite one) until you get together and spend three hours talking nonstop. You don't hate them, but they annoy you in ways most mortals can't even comprehend. The alliances and rivalries shift at random. You may be in good terms with two siblings that can't stand each other.

When you truly fight (I'm not talking arguing about something, I'm talking someone has done something that truly hurted the other) it's bad. You may still talk to each other and have fun together but it can fester and rot the relationship from the inside out. And even then, depending on what happened and their personality, they may still be there for each other.

If there's neurodivergency or disabilities involved it's a whole different shit show. You obviously want to help your little brother with chronic anxiety but jesus, you're trying to live your life too! You know they're autistic but come on can't we go out for dinner to a different place, just this once?? And don't get me started on disabilities, they may understand how your body works and still invalidate your pain on accident.

You cover for them in front of your parents and sometimes you rat them out for whatever reason. If you're angry with your father you will get in the middle of their fights, and if you're angry at your sibling you'll enjoy the show.

Siblinghood is really complicated from the outside, but from the inside it makes perfect sense. So yeah, I get why people that haven't experienced it have trouble reconciling Dick's love for his siblings and also his fierce independence from his family. Yeah, it's weird that Damian goes from hating Tim to joking around with him without fixing their issues but sometimes it is what it is. It makes sense for Jason to hang out with Dick's friends since they run similar circles and everyone thinking it's normal except for Dick. Cassandra doesn't speak to any of them for months but the second she's back from Hong Kong she's besties with Duke and Tim again.

It's only contradictory if you don't have siblings.

[cressidagrey]

Holy Ground - Chapter 5

Summary:

Nobody knew that Azriel found his mate. Until she nearly died. This is the aftermath.

Warning:

Rhys Bashing (as usual), Inner Circle Bashing (kinda), Referenced/Implied Sexual Assault, Referenced/Implied Domestic Violence, Discussion of Religion(?), Chronic Injury/Pain/Illness, Minor Character Death (It's probably nobody you love), Magical Work Accidents, Explosions, Injuries

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.

“You want to talk about it?” Her mate asked her flatly and Mor couldn’t help but grimace.

"No," Mor said simply, her tone clipped. She had been hoping to avoid this conversation, but it seemed as though Emerie was not willing to let her off that easily. "There's nothing to talk about."

Her mate just snorted. “Yeah, absolutely nothing,” she said sarcastically. “How about the fact that the male that spend 500 years being in love with you, met his mate 2 years ago and hasn’t said a single thing about it to any member of his family?”

"What do you want me to say, Em?" she asked with a sigh.

At the start…before Nesta had forced her to actually confront what she was feeling…Before she actually thought about the fact, that no…it wasn’t actually funny for Azriel to keep their mate from them…and it also wasn’t normal for him. Of course, Azriel liked his privacy, it was something that he fiercely guarded, but he was also…he wouldn’t have actually hidden away his mate from his family. He would have introduced her, would have invited her to birthdays and Winter Solstice and Starfall…

But he hadn’t. 

He had rather hidden away every trace of that relationship than actually talk to any of them about it. 

“Nesta told me that she laid into you,” Emerie said with a shrug. “You did use Azriel, you know that, Mor.”

Mor's expression hardened at Emerie's words. 

Emerie was right. She had used him. 

Of course, at the time…she had been desperate, afraid of the feelings that she had been having…willing to hide them… but the way she had gone about it hadn’t been…It hadn’t been fair. 

She just didn’t like to reflect on that. 

"It doesn't matter now, Em," she said flatly. "It's in the past."

“Is it?” Emerie asked, sharply. “You never tried to actually talk to Azriel about it. You just expected him to be alright with it. Alright with us,” she continued. “He has never once been anything but polite to me, but quite frankly he would have had every right to be pissed off.”

Mor just so managed not to grimace. 

Not a single word. Not a single gesture. Nothing but politeness and kindness had come from Azriel after her and Emerie’s mating bond had snapped. Nothing. 

"You don't think I know that? You don't think I'm racked with guilt every damn day?" she asked her mate, turning away from from Emerie, running a hand through her hair in frustration. "I know that I hurt him, Em. I know that I used him. But what do you want me to do about it now? It's in the past, it's done. I can't change it."

Emerie was silent for a moment, her expression softening slightly. "You can apologize," she said softly. "You can try to mend what you broke. And maybe, just maybe, he'll forgive you."

Mor let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. "Apologize? For what?" she asked, her voice dripping with self-mockery. "For using him? For making him think he had a chance with me when he never did? For breaking his heart when I knew damn well how he felt about me?"

Emerie's expression hardened again. "Yes," she said firmly. "For all of those things. Because at the end of the day, Mor, you used him. And he deserves better than that."

Mor's shoulders slumped, the fight leaving her all at once. She knew that Emerie was right. She knew that she had been selfish, that she had hurt Azriel in a way that could never be undone. But the thought of facing him, of admitting her mistakes and opening herself up to the pain and rejection that surely awaited her…it was terrifying.

“I imagine he had a few very good reasons to keep Irena a secret from all of us,” Emerie said softly. “Regardless of what feelings he once harboured for you…he was always your friend, Mor. And he kept his mate a secret from you.”

Mor sighed, her shoulders slumped. "I know," she said softly. "I know. I thought it was jsut Az being Az but it’s not, is it?”

Emerie reached out, placing a gentle hand on Mor's arm. "No," she said softly. "It's not. It's him protecting something that he loves. And I don't blame him for that."

***

“Are you hungry?” Azriel asked his mate softly.

Madja had checked on her the evening before…had told her to keep off her leg for a few days and plied her with more potions, bandages the bruises again… given her more sleeping draught. It hasn’t stopped Irena from waking up twice with nightmares.

"No," Irena said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. "I don't have much of an appetite." She looked pale, her eyes dull and lacking their usual sparkle. It was clear that she hadn't slept well, and his heart ached at the sight of her discomfort.

Shock had dissipated and left his mate…grieving and sad and Azriel curled himself tighter around her.

He could feel the weight of her sadness and grief, and it broke his heart to see her this way. He wrapped his arms tighter around her, holding her close and hoping to offer some comfort and support.

“You need to eat something, love,” he insisted softly. “Whatever you want.” 

He really didn’t care if all she had in her stomach were her favourite cookies, at least that would be something. 

Irena shook her head, burying her face in his chest. "I don't want anything," she said, her voice muffled against his shirt. "Just...just stay here with me."

Azriel's heart tugged at her words, and he pulled her even closer, cradling her against him. "Of course," he whispered, his lips brushing the top of her head. "I'm not going anywhere, love,” he promised her fiercely. “But you still need to eat something,” he whispered. “How about the shadows get you one of those blueberry pastries you like?”

Irena sighed, snuggling deeper into his embrace. "Alright," she said softly. "I do love those pastries." She looked up at him, her eyes still dull but a small hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

He didn’t even need to order the shadows to do anything, they had one of her favourite blueberry pastries on a plate on the bed side table in a breath. *Please tell me you left the money,* he told them mentally.

The shadows seemed almost indignant. *Of course we left it. Do you think we're thieves?* Azriel smiled at their tone."

"Of course not," he said aloud, reaching for the pastry and offering it to Irena. "You're just very efficient." The shadows swirled around him almost smugly at the praise, and he shook his head with a chuckle.

“Thank you,” Irena thanked them softly. The shadows preened.

Azriel chuckled again, watching as the shadows swirled around Irena, as if basking in her gratitude. It was cute how they seemed almost puppy-like in their desire for her attention. 

He was amazed, as always, by how much the shadows adored her.

He had never expected them to warm up to anyone else, especially not as quickly as they had to his mate. 

Suddenly…as soon as he had properly introduced his shadows to her…as soon as it was clear that she wasn’t going to start flinching away from them or from him if they showed up to badger her…as soon as that was clear, they had started to dote on her. Seemingly so pleased that there was another person that wasn’t scared off them. 

The shadows and Irena had formed a bond that defied explanation, and it made Azriel so happy to see the two things he cherished most in the world getting along so well.

(Even if he sometimes got jealous that the shadows never had doted on him like they did on Irena. He got porridge for breakfast but Irena got the ridiculous expensive pastries from the newest high end bakery. Irena got bubble bath, while he only got salt dumped into his bath water and got told that it was good for his muscles.) 

He watched as the shadows swirled around Irena, nuzzling against her like cats seeking affection. Irena laughed softly as they tickled at her ears and played with her hair.

He knew that his shadows were often feared and misunderstood, but with Irena they were playful and affectionate. It was like she had unlocked a whole new side of them, and he couldn't help but smile at the sight of them interacting so sweetly with her.

He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her temple. "I never thought I'd see the day when my shadows would be so smitten," he teased, his lips curving into a small smile. "I should be jealous, but I can't help but find it adorable."

Irena laughed, her eyes sparkling for the first time that day. "They're so sweet," she said, reaching up to brush her fingers through the shadows that surrounded her. "It's like they're a different side of you."

Azriel chuckled, his gaze softening as he looked at her. "I guess they are a part of me, in a way," he said. "And they seem to have a mind of their own, especially when it comes to you." He watched as the shadows nuzzled against her cheek, almost vying for her attention.

"They're quite taken with you," he said with a grin. "I don't blame them. Still, it's strange to see them so affectionate towards someone else." He reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair away from her face.

"But it makes me happy to see them like this," he said softly, his fingers lingering against her cheek. "It's like you're bringing out a side of them that I never knew existed. And it's a beautiful thing to witness." He leaned in, pressing another soft kiss to her forehead. "Just like you."

There was a knock at the door.

*The High Lord and the Ancient One,* the shadows offered. *And the healer.*

*I’ll deal with them,* Azriel said with a snort.

“Finish your breakfast, alright?“ he told Irena softly as he slid out of the bed. Irena nodded, a small smile on her face. 

"Thank you," she said softly, watching as he got up to answer the door.

“Madja,” he greeted the healer drily. “Irena just had breakfast. The bruises are already lightening,” he reported.

Madja nodded, her expression softening slightly. "Good," she said. "Keep an eye on her for the next couple of days, make sure she takes it easy. The leg needs to heal properly." He opened the door further, letting Madja slip in, and could just hear, "How are you feeling, my dear?" From Madja and Irena’s soft answer.

Which meant that Azriel turned towards his brother. “What do you want?” He demanded from Rhys, his voice sharp. 

Rhys held his hands up in surrender. "Calm down, Az," he said, his voice low. "I just wanted to check on Irena. Amren looked at the spellbook that Merrill was using,” Rhys explained.

“And?” Azriel asked flatly.

Did it actually matter? Merrill had been stupid and arrogant and a thousand other things. The spell didn’t seem to have done anything to Irena…her injuries had been thanks to the debris that had resulted in the spell going absolutely haywire, killing Merrill and seemingly exploding her office. 

“It was written in a language I do not know, but the best match is ancient Illyrian,” Amren gave back drily. 

Azriel's expression darkened at Amren's words. "Ancient Illyrian?" he repeated, his mind racing. "That can't be good."

Not at all. He didn’t even want to think about what his ancestors had come up with. 

"It seems to be a very old dialect," Rhys explained. "One that hasn't been spoken or written in centuries. It'll take some time to decipher it, but we're working on…”

“It seems to be a healing spell. Probably used in childbirth,” Amren cut him off. “When it didn’t find a pregnant female to latch onto, it redoubled back onto Merrill.”

"So Merrill's own spell backfired on her," Azriel mused. "And Irena got caught in the crossfire." He rubbed a hand over his face. “Has the spell done anything to Irena?” He demanded.

“Madja didn’t think so,” Rhys said carefully. “I wanted to check on Irena if that’s alright with you.”

He crossed his arms, not willing to entertain that even for a moment. 

“No,” he said flatly. 

“Let him in, Azriel,” his mate said softly, and he turned towards her, staring at Irena. 

The shadows were already dragging a fur around her shoulders, fluffing the pillows behind her, as Madja bandaged her leg.

Irena met his gaze, raising an eyebrow at him. 

He didn’t want Rhys anywhere near her, Azriel was certain of that. And still…an still…

“Fine,” Azriel growled, stepping aside to let Rhys through. "Don't overstay your welcome," he warned Rhys. 

Rhys nodded, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips at Azriel's protectiveness. He clapped a hand on Azriel's shoulder reassuringly. "I won't stay long," he reassured his brother. "I just want to make sure she's alright."

Amren rolled her eyes, but for once didn’t say another word as Azriel closed the door. 

“High Lord,” Irena greeted Rhys, every inch the perfect lady even while she was laid up in her bed.

Rhys inclined his head, smiling gently at Irena, while Azriel already crossed the room to sit at her bedside, taking her hand in both of his. She reassuringly squeezed it. 

"How are you feeling?" Rhys asked her. 

Irena gave him a small smile, shrugging her shoulders a little. "I've been better," she admitted. "But I'm healing, I suppose." She gestured to the leg, Madja was bandaging once again.  "Madja says I'll be good as new in a few days. And I’ve had worse,” she added flatly.

Rhys chuckled softly, his eyes softening with concern. "I don't doubt it," he said. "But still, it must have been quite a harrowing experience." He paused for a moment, looking at her intently. "I wanted to speak to you about what happened," he said gently. "If you feel up to it, of course."

Irena nodded, steeling herself for whatever questions Rhys might have. "Go ahead," she said quietly.

"I just wanted to ask you about what you saw when the spell hit you," Rhys said carefully. "Do you remember anything after the initial blast? Could you show me?”

“No.” Azriel snapped. “You are not going read her mind, Rhysand.” Not in a million years. 

He nearly bared his teeth at his High Lord in annoyance, already regretting letting him into their room. 

Irena was healing.

Rhys held up his hands in surrender, his eyes flickering to Azriel for a moment. "I wasn't going to do anything without her permission,  brother," he assured him calmly.

“It’s alright,” Irena agreed with him. “It’s fine, Azriel,” she assured him softly.  Azriel tensed for a moment, torn between wanting to protect her and respecting her wishes. "I want to do this." She turned her attention back to Rhys. "Go ahead."

Rhys nodded, his expression serious. "Are you sure?" he asked, his voice low. "It might be difficult to recall the memories, but I need you to try."

Irena just inclined her head. "I'm sure," she said firmly. "Just...just go ahead."

Azriel watched, holding her hand tightly. Rhys was well trained at using his daemati abilities, but that didn’t mean that…

A moment later a soft shudder run through his mate, and Azriel growled. 

“Thank you, Irena,” Rhys said quickly, clearly already withdrawing from her mind.

“What kind of spell was it?” Itena asked her voice hoarse. 

Rhys sighed, "The spellbook was written in some kin of ancient language, we think some dialect of Illyrian. The spell itself was healing spell, probably used for childbirth," he explained. "The magic was searching for a pregnant female to latch onto, but when it couldn’t find one, it became more volatile," he said, his expression grave. "And that's when it found you, Irena. It was a complete accident, but the effects were still devastating."

“Did it do…anything to me?” Irena asked Madja quietly.

Madja looked up from the bandages she was applying to Irena's leg, her expression softening as she took in Irena's worried expression.

Madja studied her for a moment, her eyes flickering over the various scrapes and bruises on Irena's body. "Not as far as I can tell,” Madja said finally. "You're healing nicely, and there are no lasting effects to your body that I can see.”

It was something. It was reassuring to know that her physical injuries were being healed, and that there were no lasting effects.

Azriel squeezed Irena's hand, relief flooding through him at Madja's words. 

It was good. Some form of healing being found…

And the last thing Azriel had expected, where Irena’s next words, as she addressed Rhysand. 

“I’ll hand over my duties to Madja, as soon as I can,” Irena said softly. “I am aware that after what happened I am no longer suitable to make any more research involved decisions. I take full responsibility for what happened.“

Her voice was even, measured. Calm. 

Even when he could see the storm in her eyes…even when he could see…

She loved her job. He knew that she loved her job. She adored it in fact. And she excelled in it too. Irena seeme to be made for her job in the House of Wind. And to hear her contemplating giving it all up, just because of an accident that hadn’t been her fault at all…

Azriel opened his mouth to protest but Rhys spoke before he could say anything. "That won't be necessary," Rhys said firmly. "Irena, what happened was a complete accident. You had no control over what happened, and we all know that." He shook his head, his expression serious. "You can't blame yourself for what happened."

Rhys leaned forward slightly, his gaze intent on Irena. "If anyone is to blame, it's Merrill," he said softly. "She was the one who was messing with magic beyond her understanding, she didn’t follow your orders and she was the one who unleashed that spell. You were just an innocent bystander in all of this."

He paused, looking between Azriel and Irena, his expression softening. "We will need to take precautions going forward, so nothing like that can ever happen again." he said carefully. "But we can figure that out together. And you do not need to give up your duties, Irena. We need you."

Irena looked down at the blankets in her lap, her fingers fiddling with a loose thread. "But what if something like this does happen again?" she asked softly.

Rhys shook his head, his expression firm. "It won't," he said, his voice filled with conviction. “None of what happened was your fault,” Rhys repeated firmly.

Azriel nodded in agreement, his grip on Irena's hand tightening. "He's right," he said gruffly. "You didn't do anything wrong. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, love. This is on Merrill, not on you. "

“And you can’t quit because otherwise we’ll all drown under paperwork. Well, more than we already do,” Rhys said with a sigh.

Irena chuckled softly, a small smile pulling at the corners of her lips. "Well, I suppose I can't let that happen," she said wryly. "I can’t let the high Lord deal with even more paperwork, can I?“ she said drily.

Rhys moved to stand but then he suddenly froze. “You have been doing this on purpose,” he suddenly said, staring at her.

“Doing what?” Irena asked, cocking the head to the side. “Make sure that the library generates plenty of paperwork that needs the High Lord’s personal attention?”Rhys stared at her for a moment, his expression a mixture of surprise and awe. 

"You really are quite devious, aren’t you?" he said with a small laugh. "I never would have thought you’d be using your job specifically to ensure that I spend even more time doing paperwork."

“I don’t.” Irena said flatly. “It was petty revenge.”

Rhys chuckled, shaking his head. "Petty revenge?" he repeated, raising an eyebrow. "What on earth did I do to deserve such punishment?"

Irena just stared at him for a moment. “Maybe you should think a bout how you have been treating my mate.”

What? 

Azriel had had no clue that…

Azriel hadn’t known about that. Hadn’t had the faintest inkling. 

Irena had been making sure that Rhys had more paperwork to go through?!

Rhys looked at him for a moment before sighing, rubbing a hand over his face. "I suppose I deserved that one," he admitted. 

Azriel just grunted, his expression flat. "You deserved a lot more than that," he muttered. But there was no real anger in his voice. He was too tired for anger at Rhys. All he cared about right now was Irena. 

“You really are a perfect match,” Rhys said with some amusement. “And I do owe Azriel an apology,” he said simply. "I’ve been harsh on you, Azriel. And I haven’t been fair. I’ve been treating you like a tool, instead of like a brother, and I owe you an apology for that.”

Azriel was taken aback by Rhys's words. He had grown used to the way Rhys treated him - as a weapon first, and a brother second. Hearing Rhys acknowledge his mistakes was…certainly unexpected, and it left him feeling a little off-balance.

He paused for a moment, his mind racing as he tried to figure out how to respond. Finally he looked up at Rhys, his expression serious. "Thank you," he said quietly. "I appreciate the apology."

Rhys nodded, his expression sincere. "I mean it," he said quietly. "I'll do better moving forward."

[dredshirtroberts]

i hope you don't mind the reblog ^_^ I ended up with a couple thoughts just a smidge too long for a concise comment.

Short answer: if you’re asking the question, get the cane.

MUCH MUCH LONGER ANSWER:

starting with re: this tag in particular: #idk my mobility isn't really limited but i am in a lot of pain frequently and standing without something to lean on makes it a lot worse

If you are in pain your mobility is being limited and you are allowed to take whatever steps are necessary to relieve that pain. To reiterate the short answer: if you’re asking the question, you need support or help of some kind, and the best way to know if a mobility aid you’re considering will help you is to try it. Being in pain limits the amount of time you are able to walk, stand and be out and about with people comfortably. Trying to solve that problem is adjusting for the limitation you’ve already identified. If you’ve found that pain is relieved by having something to lean on like a counter or a wall or a chair, etc. then a cane is probably a good fit for you, since you’ll have the ability to put more weight on it when you’re away from those sorts of structures you’ve been using to help in the interim.

If you’re concerned about the chance it won’t be a good fit for you (as in it’s not actually providing the relief you want) start with a less expensive option first. You can check to see if there are mutual aid groups in your area who do exchanges which is also a great way to give back if you find it's not working for you, or it is but you'd like a more personalized one for you.

For carting around, there are collapsible ones that are a lot easier to transport when you don’t need it right that moment (mine is! I love it to death). As well as the strap or hook options - mine has a strap and while sometimes i forget how space around me works, or how objects work in that space, the strap itself works for me fairly well. The trick is figuring out what works best for you - which is another reason it might be beneficial to try something that's less of an investment initially.

But again, going back to the short answer which is what it really boils down to: you should get the cane if you’re financially able to. I made similar arguments when I was in denial about how much pain I was in, because I wasn’t really sure it would help and in some ways I wasn’t wrong – it’s not something I need if my legs or lower back/hips aren’t the problem. Unfortunately most of the time my legs, lower back and hips are the problem lol. It also turns out I might need additional support that the cane can’t cover. If leaning on something helps, a cane will take a lot of that. You deserve to be as comfortable as possible in the environments you need to be in. If you’re in a place you’re going to be standing for long periods of time and that causes you pain, you are allowed to relieve that pain if you need to and can.

And you’re allowed to tell anyone who questions why you’re using a cane to fuck off. :)

going through another round of "what if i got a cane would my life be easier with a cane should i get a cane" hmmmm

[disabledfurry]

i may have made this post already

happy disability pride month to people with conditions that cause muscle atrophy and weakness, especially progressive muscle atrophy and weakness

to people who choke all the time, to people for whom swallowing hurts or is so uncomfortable it makes eating and drinking miserable, to people with moderate to severe gerd, to people who can't get rid of gas and it just stays trapped in their chest or stomach and hurts, to people who get nauseous every time they eat, to people who don't want to eat because of how it makes them feel, to people who get sick after eating, to people with dumping syndrome

to people who are losing the ability to walk even with an aid

to people who can't pull themself out of a seat easily or at all

to people who are losing the ability to pee or use the bathroom on their own, to people with chronic constipation and urine retention, to people in serious pain because of those things

to people who can't easily cry or laugh or cough or who can't cry or laugh or cough at all, to people who get or are too weak to talk, to people who have to fight to keep breathing, to people who stop breathing over and over because they're too weak to do it anymore, to people with worsening heart problems, to people who hallucinate and are confused from lack of oxygen and do and say strange things that they regret later because of it

to people who are losing the ability to use their hands, to people who struggle to grab and hold onto things, who drop stuff often, to artists with atrophied and weakening hands especially, to people who use speech to text or wish they could but it doesn't work with their voices or accent

to people for whom chewing is tiring, to people who can't chew on their own

to people who can't blow their noses

to people who can't hold their head up or sit up on their own

to people who are losing their sight or hearing

to people who can't move without feeling like they've been working out, to people whose muscles are always sore, to people who often can't be touched without pain, to people with angry nerves, to people who like me get random pinching and searing, to anyone else that's getting worse for

to people whose muscles twitch constantly

to people who are in bed all the time or most of the time, to people who feel like they're asleep more often than they're awake, to people who are forced to lay down and then can't even talk or open their eyes because they're too weak

to people who also have worsening cognitive issues, to people who thrash and twitch and twist, to people who have always had seizures or just started having them, to people who stutter and stammer and can't make sense, to people who just "feel really weird"

to people for whom everything seems like a fight because their muscles just don't want to work

to people who are losing or who have lost the ability to do adls

to people who have already lost a lot of things and will lose more

i just wanted to make a post. i can't list every experience, but tried to list as many as i could think of of my own, and as many as i know about. i think having this experience is lonely, for what it is, especially if you have no support irl. i rarely meet anyone like me, i really only know of 3 people, 4 tangentially- someone offered to connect me to her, but i feel like it's weird to ask. i wish i met more of us in the wild, as it were, and not by chance like someone's spun a wheel. i'm also glad i guess that this isn't that common of an experience considering how much it hurts. i always just feel really distraught and insecure about both being able to see and feel my body deteriorate. i worry about what i'll lose next. i worry about how to supplement what i have lost. i worry about my chest as a whole and my esophagus and my bladder and my stomach and my brain and my spine and my heart.

there's a lot of things i could say if i knew how to say it, but anyway, i'm glad you're here. i just really hope you have fun.

[chronicallycouchbound]

Intelligence Doesn't Equal Morality

Intellect is rooted in ableist systems and stupidity and intelligence are pointless social constructs that don't relate to morals or character.

I try to be a pretty good person, I fight for human rights, I regularly engage in mutual aid, and I care for my community. I try to do the right thing and support causes I care about and make positive changes in the world.

But I also am not very smart. I have several neurodevelopmental disorders, as well as cognitive disabilities. I can’t do simple, basic math, it’s hard for me to remember facts or algorithms, I rely entirely on spellcheck and speech-to-text to write, I failed many classes in high school and I barely passed with a low GPA, I had low pSAT scores and I never took the SATs. I moved around a lot all through school starting in third grade, and I missed a lot of basic fundamentals in learning (like how to do division and multiplication) so when I went to a different school they had already passed it and expected me to know. After my TBI, I could barely read AFTER I was cleared from my “concussion” symptoms because letters and words would flip around and I’d get headaches. Which still happens sometimes.

A lot of people see me as smart because I've learned a lot of academic language and can formulate thoughts into cohesive posts. But I lack a lot of necessary skills and rely on my caretakers to assist me. Things like budgeting and planning are extremely difficult for me. If I need to do simple addition or subtraction, even with a calculator, I quickly get confused and struggle. I forget basic information about myself all the time, let alone other subjects. I'm talking, has to check my ID for my birthday type confused. Doesn't know my name or address or what year it is confused. It happens daily, sometimes multiple times a day. Being able to type out posts like this often takes weeks and many adaptive tools to get there. Focusing is extremely difficult on many fronts, severe chronic pain, ADHD, dissociation, fatigue, migraines, and TBI, are just some of the contributing factors. I struggle daily with many things because of my lack of intellect.

I’m also privileged in the fact that I had some access to education as a homeless youth, that I had some supports in place to help me (towards the end of school), that I was somewhat able-bodied at the time and could walk or bike to and from school when the school system didn’t provide transportation. I was fortunate to have a chance to succeed, and I’m proud that I graduated high school because it was a difficult task for me, and others often aren’t offered that chance or get accommodations. I almost didn’t and I dropped out many times before graduation. I passed on sheer luck and what little privileges I had. 

That all being said, me being stupid (reclaiming it here) doesn't make me a bad person. I don't hurt people because I can't do math. I may mess up things or get confused but it doesn't make me want to harm others.

We often (wrongfully) equate morals with intellect. Being ‘stupid’, ‘dumb’, or an ‘idiot’ doesn’t automatically make someone a bad person. Plenty of evil, awful, and abusive people are extremely intelligent. 

I see this most notably with people advocating for IQ tests to be able to vote. Often from left-leaning people, in hopes it'll make the right (that they view as unintelligent), unable to vote. The reality is, it just hurts some of our most vulnerable members of the community while not actively doing anything to restrict some of the most dangerous members of our community-- those who know what they're doing to harm others and deliberately doing so. My voice matters, and I speak up against injustice and participate in dismantling oppressive systems. Taking away my right to vote won't make the right stop oppressing minorities (which also puts a lot of faith into the two-party voting system, which is a post for another day).

Additionally, legislative measures that discriminate against intellectually disabled people such as IQ tests for voting are also rooted in racism and classism. 

Yes, education can be a vital tool when it comes to addressing discrimination and creating safer communities. But the kind of education that is measured with an IQ test (or any test) isn't the same. Building compassion and caring for others can (and should) happen at any IQ level. We can all practice this, we can all participate.

It harms our communities and stagnates our progress when we equate intelligence with high morals.

[dootdootwriting]

hii can you do where like the genshin impact boys lovers are like taller than them?

featuring: albedo, alhaitham, ayato, baizhu, cyno, diluc, gorou, itto, kazuha, kaeya, kaveh, tighnari, venti, xiao, zhongli, (separate) tw: light foul language (scattered throughout), mention of violence/fighting (childe), mention of chronic pain/illness (baizhu), haitham is autistic because yeah. type: fluff, sfw, hcs reader: tall, gn, no pronouns, no use of y/n a/n: i was GOING to do literally all of them but i gave up after tighnari sorry i just did NOT have it in me. if you want hcs of this same scenario with different characters, do feel free to request that!

also not using canon heights for this bc they don't . make sense to me so you get mY HEADCANONS. (close to canon at least i promise)

ALBEDO

not hard to be taller than him tbh, he's like 5'4

i can't see him particularly caring about height in an s/o, rather just personality. if he likes you, he likes you and that's really it, you could look like just about anything

you could be three feet tall and he wouldn't care as long as you were understanding about the unholy hours of the night he has to stay up to in order to do his work

he won't deny the fact that dating someone tall has its advantages, though.

for one example, he finds it particularly difficult when an ingredient he's trying to get to is too far up for him to reach

and yes, he could just summon his geo flower and have it elevator his ass up the tree or whatever, but it's so much more convenient AND so much more comfortable to just have you pick him up so he can get higher

also, it's insanely hot

probably would be into it

DILUC

he's probably just a bit taller than average, i'd place him at about 6' or so

so it's not rare that he meets someone taller than him, it just doesn't happen every day

has no qualms about your height other than he finds it slightly annoying to look up at you when you're having a conversation

it's hard to be intimidating when the person you're talking to is looking down at you with an adoring smile, as you can understand.

other than that, if need be, he has the winery mansion adjusted to suit you

just some basic things like carving a bit out of a doorframe if you're prone to bumping your head on things. nothing too drastic

KAEYA

thinks it's hot

he's kind of a slut for people taller than him, i think. or just a slut in general maybe. either way, thinks it's hot

he's probably just a bit shorter than diluc, maybe at 5'11. diluc won't let him hear the end of it and it pisses him off

looks are the first thing he sees in a person. it isn't nearly the end-all be-all of choosing a partner for him (he really looks for someone with more mental acuity and wit), but it does play the part

being tall helps you with this

is the type to DEFINITELY be able to reach the top shelf and pretend he can't anyway so he can grin at you while you get things for him

asshole

VENTI

did someone say short-ass twink?

he's like 5'3 sorry i don't make the rules. short.

so yeah, again, not hard to be taller than him.

he's so playful about it too

"oh nooooo~ they put the apples all the way on the top shelf so i can't reach them~ whatever shall i do!"

bitch, you can fly. be fr

it doesn't matter. if there's something you can do (even if he can also do it) for him because of his height, he'll bat his eyelashes and flash you a grin so you can't help but show off and do it for him

also makes sharing the bed a hell of a lot more difficult. venti already flails around all over the place, and having someone taller sleeping next to him...? forget about it. you're both waking up on the floor.

BAIZHU

tall

probably like 6'1, and lanky too

there is no cabinet he can't reach, and besides he has changsheng to slither up in the rare situation that he actually can't reach something

however, the tables are turned on him completely when he's having a flare-up. a lot of the time, if he tries to exert himself reaching for something (or just getting out of bed at all), he'll dissolve into a fit of coughing and have to sit down

this is when having a tall partner really comes in handy, and you're more than happy to get him whatever he needs to help him calm it down

extremely grateful for your help, and lucky that he has you. anytime you get him something, especially when he's not feeling well, he'll thank you and give you a kiss

XIAO

joining the "it's not hard to be taller than him" club at a whopping (not really) FIVE FOOT TWO

bro is SHORT short

this doesn't bother him as much as you think it might. in xiao's own words, "height has little effect on one's ability to fight," and therefore he can protect you and fight for you even despite how small he is

will pretend not to be thankful if you help him with reaching things, but instead sends you a short glance that only you can decipher as being grateful

going out with him is a little bit like walking with a small but on edge dog

ZHONGLI

taller than REX LAPIS?? REX FUCKING LAPIS??? THE LORD OF GEO???

i think in his human form he's about 6'3, but he gets to like 6'8 with his draconic features out. no, i'm not counting his horns, i think he actually grows when he relaxes and stops hiding his features

is impressed that you're taller than him, and, honestly, a little worried about your back

with this tall of a couple, he definitely has to adjust his living situation. for sure has his ceilings raised and doorways sanded so the both of you can fit

walking around liyue harbor with him is a SIGHT. two giant sized folks casually going out for a stroll along the waterfront, enjoying their date as if they aren't big enough for a seagull to accidentally fly into their faces

also likes having you do things for him. he's tall, he can do them himself, but he's lying if he says he doesn't like watching you reach to screw in a lightbulb or the like.

AYATO

he's probably around 5'11, so he's tall but it's not unusual for someone to be taller than him per se

he's kind of a cheeky lil bastard? he puts everything on ridiculously high shelves on purpose so that he can watch you get them for him

"oh, sorry to trouble you my dear, but it seems the brown sugar is just a few inches out of my reach. could i trouble you to grab it for me?"

"there are like eighteen other different shelves you could have put it on."

"are there? i hadn't noticed! oh, well :)"

also likes to show you off. pulls up to the function (important dignitary meeting) with his tall ass partner

GOROU

little guy! he's probably around 5'4-5'5 so if you're even like average height you're probably a little taller than him

embarrassed about it, almost as much as he is about the whole tail cuddling thing

that isn't to say he doesn't love how gorgeous and tall you are (he does for sure!), he just is a little self-conscious about his own height

he WILL hide behind you if he sees yae miko approach. benefit #1 of having a tall partner: meat shield

also bonus for you: he is a dog, so when he wants you to grab something for him, he'll look up at you with the most adorable puppy eyes you've ever seen

ITTO

good lord you must be insanely tall . i think he's probably around 6'3

the first time he meets you he's blown away. bewildered. incredibly flustered. possibly already in love.

he's used to being the tallest guy around, used to being the big guy in charge. so when he finds you, and has to look up at someone else for a change, he's stupefied (in a good way)

there are no shelves he can ask you to get things from that he can't already reach. instead, he likes to watch you just pick people up

he'll gather some arataki gang members and ask them to stand in a line and have you go back to back with each one just to measure how tall you are compared to other people

he WILL give bear hugs. if you're more lanky, they may break a few bones... so, beware of that

KAZUHA

another almost short-stack, probably around 5'6

he hasn't ever really thought about his height, he isn't insecure about it or anything.

to him, your height is just another thing that he loves about you! he doesn't care much for physical appearance, it's what's inside that counts to him

and once he gets to know you, he finds everything about you stunning!

probably writes poems about how you look standing strong in the wind or something. really he'll write poems about you no matter what.

since you're taller than him, he enjoys being the little spoon. let him recite lines to you while you hold him!

ALHAITHAM

tall ass guy. prolly around 6'1

is surprised that you're taller than him, but other than that doesn't really care all that much

while he does care for physical traits such as height, he mostly values intelligence and wit, so as long as you can keep up with him in a conversation, you're good enough to date

he has parameters, you understand. you have to fit to a certain standard in a series of specific categories, including age, wit, compatibility....

he might be a little autistic.

my point is, height doesn't really factor in there

still enjoys being the big spoon, even if there's more of you or if you don't quite slot together ideally in that position

it doesn't matter if you're 8 feet tall, this guy Will hold you

CYNO

putting him in around 5'5

despite his small stature, he's a force to be reckoned with. everyone around him knows it, even if he sometimes wishes they didn't care as much

has absolutely no trouble asking you to get things for him if he can't reach them. unbothered king.

this comes less from a place of him not caring about being short and more of a place of him knowing his limitations and understanding when he needs help!

doesn't really care about being shorter than you. well... unless you tease him about being short, then he gets a little miffed. he doesn't mind being the shorter one as long as he isn't just called short

doesn't mind being the little spoon if you suggest it

KAVEH

i wanna say he's about average height, 5'8-5'9 ish!

he's comfortable with his height. he doesn't really think about it very often

that being said, i do think he would be very into someone who's taller than him. i just get those vibes

PLEASE please lean in a doorway and look at him or something. he thinks it's so attractive

probably will ask you to reach up and get things for him just so he can like... poke you in the side??? for no reason?? while you do it

likes to show you off but is also shy about it. will hold your hand when you walk around in public but also really doesn't want anyone to notice. there are two wolves inside of him.

TIGHNARI

I AM A 5'6 TIGHNARI TRUTHER. idk. he gives 5'6 vibes and i don't know why!!!

honestly couldn't give two shits about his height. As long as he can get to the samples he's trying to study, he doesn't care!

Thinks every part of you is stunning, so to him your height is a part of that!

Looks come second to personality to him. This isn't to say he doesn't find you attractive, just that the second he actually starts to like someone all of a sudden oh, they're really pretty actually.

lowkey wants to do like, a family gene chart of you? He wants to learn everything about you, down to where all your different traits come from!

[ethan-acfan]

Desmond head canons (with a few non desmond head canons thrown in) (I love desmond and all non-desmonds equally I swear)

Desmond once came out of the animus and tried to greet the others, but he couldn't figure out which language to use, so for about 5 minutes, he cycled through different languages trying to find the right one before just giving up.

Ezio has chronic pain from climbing buildings because he never learned the correct way to climb them, nor the correct stretches to stop the pain

Haytham once convinced Connor to come with him to a tavern, Connor ended up getting drunk and zoning out for 30 minutes before putting his head down and silently crying in the corner

Connor never processed his mom's death because after she died, he had to rebuild the village, then he had to learn to fight, then he had to worry about his villages safety, etc. So he never processed it

Altair and desmond suffer from migraines and not the "my head hurts" migrans I'm talking the ones that cause you to black out for a minute and get sick

Altair once was learning to do a leap of faith, but while it was being explained, he accidently turned on his eagle vision and nearly freaked out (his dad had to take him home right after and explain what Altair was seeing)

After a few days of reliving ezios' memories, desmond started to gravitate towards Shaun because (just like Leo) Shaun smells like books

Altair has the stupidest sense of humor

Ezio collected cats, Altair collected birds, connor collected dogs/ wild animals, and now all animals are just drawn to desmond

Desmond once fist fought a gang leader *and won.* He also got the leaders' respect. (Being a bartender in Manhattan does things to you)

Desmond with adhd

Connor doesn't like walking into new places without being able to scope out the area first

DESMOND WITH ADHD

Altair has severe attachment issues, so bc of this, he distances himself as much as possible, so he doesn't get attached

Desmond got into an argument with Bill and got so frustrated that he started talking in native American without realizing Bill then said something snarky and desmond snapped in a perfect native America accent. "Haytham, you are unbelievable"

Desmond can control his ancestors' ratatouille style

When there is a time jump in the animus (for example, the time jumps in the training montage in monteriggioni), it's super disorienting for desmond bc he gets the memories of his ancestor but if he focuses on them he can't remember them

Desmond once cried for an hour in his room bc he couldn't remember Rebecca's name when he came out of the animus

Desmond nearly attacked Bill on multiple occasions because his bleeds made him appear to be a Templar (Bill is no longer allowed near desmond as he is getting out of the animus)

While they were in the temple, a bear wandered in, and everyone freaked out, but desmond just helped the bear find its way back to his mom (they now get random prey left outside of the temple)

One time, desmond tried to reach for a throwing knife before realizing he dosent have throwing knives, and he nearly died, lol

Desmond called Rebecca Claudia once, and she never forgot it

I have so many more, but I don't feel like typing them out rn

[coquexari]

I'm sorry, I just realized something while I was reading your post about Banthena (I hope that's okay? If not, I'll stop using it) trying to fight the suitors & not having an easy time of it.

How she was upset over it due to her being the goddess of war, but then I remembered that she's not simply the goddess of war. She's the goddess of war strategy & wisdom.

It's possible that she may have somewhat forgotten that due to her previously natural goddess endowed strength & may need to be reminded.

(And as I was typing that, I imagined Ody or Mac or both possibly, singing a reprise of "Warrior of the Mind" to do so, which could be so flippin' cool!!)

Actually... this could be an opportunity for her to actually refine this aspect of herself because she can't rely on her deity strength anymore... In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she was used to fighting like a man. I wonder, would she need to learn how to do physical things as a woman? Like, by focusing more on the strength in her lower body; legs, hips, core. So, things like dodging, flexibility, kicking, quick reaction. It's like how guys can muscle through climbing, but women climb best by using their legs & core strength.

So, if one were to put that together with her having to work on her mind, including on-the-fly strategizing... if she were to turn back into a goddess... Man, wouldn't it be ironic is becoming a mortal ended up making her a better at her roles as a goddess, in the end? Like, actually being a goddess her whole life had actually been holding her back from her full potential?

Can you imagine that it eventually led to her overthrowing Zeus like he'd been afraid of happening with Metis? "One often meets their destiny on the road to avoid it," right?

(Some other things I also remembered reading about her lore is that she's also the goddess of justice & suffers of a chronic headache so long as injustice exists. But, as a mortal, that is no longer her domain, so imagine that she gets to a point in her recovery where she realizes that she'd been in so much pain all over before, that she hadn't realized that she suddenly didn't have a headache anymore &... she just can't... How do you even describe not being in pain after only ever knowing pain? But I imagine that it must be odd. Another thing I remember of her is that she's also the goddess of handicrafts, things like weaving, pottery, I imagine painting & sculpting are on that list too. So, if she insists on paying her way, then perhaps she could do so that way? Whether it be by selling them or just helping Penelope around the house.)

Sorry for chattering so much. I tend to do that when I find a REALLY good thing with a lot of potential. ^^;

HI I TOOK EONS TO ANSWER THIS BECAUSE YOU MAKE SUCH A GOOD POINT AND MY BRAIN CANT MAKE ANY POINTS TO ADD ONTO THIS, so I'm eating your thoughts now, please continue to ramble in my asks anon <3

Also, teehee banthena is allowed indeed, and it's now the tag for if you want to make fan posts of the au :3!

[gg-neptune]

Late Date

A/N: Okay so lemme rant rq. I just got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue, right? Now I am getting a flare up from the combination of the new medicines from my messed up genetics. So if I don't post I am sorry. Currently can't move without being in pain. Anyways I hope you enjoyyyy :))))) Trying my best to keep him in character but it's so hard bc like we never see him in this light.

Sum: Sev is late

Pair: Severus x reader

Word: 2.0k

“Class Dismissed,” Snape grumbled to the class. His nose was pinched in between his fingers. Longbottom had melted another one of his cauldrons today. It was a careless mistake that could have been avoided if the young boy had just been paying more attention. Now there was a gooey mess all over his classroom.

As the students filtered out, Snape sighed. His day had been going well. He had been awoken to the sweetest of sounds—the sound of his love telling him it was morning. There was fresh fruit in the great hall for breakfast. All of his classes had gone well, with only a handful of disrespectful students that had shut up when he took house points and threatened detention. He had even been able to actually take his lunch break instead of working through it. Of course, it was his last class. He was going to be late if he didn’t clean this up immediately. Even if he did, would he be able to make it anyway?

"Hey, Hon-oh.”

Snape’s head snapped up at the sound of your voice. You were standing in the doorway to his class room. Your eyes were wide in astonishment at the mess that lay before you. The multicolored goopy liquid had now made its way to the middle of the classroom. 

His dark eyes met yours. He wanted nothing more than to just leave the classroom and deal with this later. He knew he couldn’t; it was against policy. You could have students fight Voldemort and almost die on campus, though that was fine.

“Hey, everything is alright,” Severus asked. His voice was laced with worry. He could tell by your expression that you were curious or worried about something before you had seen the mess in his room.

"Well, I was wondering what you would want me to wear tonight, but now I am guessing it’s off for tonight.” Your sad eyes looked at him. He could tell you were disappointed. Not at him, but just that idea. He knew you had been looking forward to this for weeks now. It had been so long since they had been able to go out. He wanted to treat you tonight. Spend the night with just you. For so long, he knew you both had been craving to not have to worry about anyone else and just worry about each other.

“No, I’ll find a way to get everything taken care of before then; don’t worry about it. Also, wear what you want; you know I love you in anything you wear.” By now, the man had managed to maneuver his way to you. Careful to avoid all of the goo, he pulled you into his arms and sighed. 

“Longbottom melted my cauldron again. But this time I don’t know how because none of the ingredients should have reacted like that. So that means he got the wrong one.” Snape leaned his head on top of yours, mumbling about the carelessness of the boy.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean to Sev. You know he’s a bit... spacey at best when he’s in your class. I mean, the poor boy is terrified of you.”

Severus just grumbled in annoyance at that. You were too nice to students. He squeezes you tightly and buries his face in your hair before releasing you.

His eyes raked over you. You were absolutely stunning, even after teaching dunderhead students all day. Your eyes shone with delight. Being held by your dear husband always seemed to have that effect on you, as he noticed. 

“Anything you want me to wear tonight,” he almost grins, teasing you a bit.

“Yes, I want you in a bright pink, tight dress. I will accept no less from you,” you say with a smile, also teasing him before quickly walking off, leaving him with the mess in his room and not being able to respond to your teasing. He grumpily turned back around to face his classroom, glaring at the goo and nursing under his breath.

2 hours later, and it is just now seeming like Scourgify is actually Scourgifying. The majority of the gunk had finally been removed from the floor. What remained of the table Severus had disposed of. While he continued to clean, he came to the conclusion that Neville must have used Bezoar instead of Bat Spleens. Bezoar, when mixed with the rest of the ingredients, creates a reaction. A sticky, messy substance that slowly expands to about 20 times its size. Severus stood back and looked over his floor. This was as good as it was going to get, he decided as he wiped sweat from his forehead. He should have given the boy detention and made him clean up. However, it would have taken him twice, if not three times, as long as it did the professor. If he had been able to do it at all honestly,. 

Snape walked to his office, which was just the next door over, and grabbed his keys. He locked both his classroom and his office doors and cast a spell that would show any student who should even look at them that he was not there and to not even think about trying the door.

Briskly, he walked to his chambers, his long robes billowing behind him, making him resemble a bat. 

Severus’s long legs and tendency to power walk allowed him to reach his chambers pretty quickly. He stepped inside quickly and immediately began to prepare for your guy’s date. Quickly, he stripped down and stepped into the shower, trying to get the grime off of himself. After a quick scrub, he swiftly got dressed in a pair of his nicer-looking robes and finally decided to glance at the time.

Shit. He was late. Really late.

Fastening the last button on his black shirt, he didn’t even bother with putting on the rest of his robes in his rush to get to you. Fumbling with the door, his hands were shaking as he slung it open and took off down the hall, damn near running to Hogsmeade. Hoping and praying that you would still be there. Also hoping and praying a student didn’t see him, though right now this was not a major concern of his. 

He had wanted this night to be perfect for the both of you, and he had already managed to fuck it up somehow. What if you were sitting with another man by now? So mad and disgusted by him, you decided to get the attention you deserved, which he couldn’t give you, from another. He quickly shook that thought from his head as his eyes caught a glimpse of his wedding band. He finally got to the road that led to the little village that you were currently in. Waiting for him.

The man briskly walked, trying to catch his breath; he was not used to running like that. As soon as he got past the magical enchantments that forbade apparition he apparated right outside the Three Broomsticks. For a moment, he stood outside. Trying to catch his breath and calm himself. Smoothing his hands over his shirt and just hoping he looked alright, he entered the little restaurant. He had never been late before. In fact, he was always early, and the man was terrified of how you would react. 

Inside the cozy place, the hostess greeted him politely, asking him if he had a reservation. He already knew where his seat was and where you were supposed to be, so he just ignored the woman and walked in, going straight to the back and looking in the far right corner. The potions master's hands shook with fear. Fear that you will not be there and that he will be greeted with an empty table and an angry wife after he finally locates you.

Fortunately for him, he saw you. Your beautiful face is reading a book in the corner of the booth he had reserved for you. The table was empty, but there were two menus on the table and two waters. From your expression, he could not tell if you were upset or not. Quickly, before you could get upset, he rushed towards you and grabbed your hand as he sat on the same side of the booth as you. Even though you had told him multiple times never to sit on the same side of the booth as each other, he did not care at this moment.

"Dear, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to be late. I was cleaning and it wasn’t coming up and- I promise I didn't forget I am so sorry please what can I do to make it up to you? I am so sorry.” His voice was shaking as he gripped your hand tightly. You were startled by his sudden apology, as you had been engrossed in your book and honestly expected him to be a bit longer. You knew the disastrous attempted potion was going to take him hours to clean up, and since he refused help, he would be late. 

"Severus, it’s fine. I knew you were going to be late. That goop kicked your ass, didn’t it?” you tease him as you take in his appearance. In this moment, as frazzled as he was, he looked rather handsome. His inky black hair was falling in front of his face, and his glossy eyes were filled with tears. His black shirt, which you usually could not see very well because of his robes, framed his body just right. You knew he was terrified you would be mad, but how could you be realistic? It wasn’t like he just blatantly ignored you or was thinking of others.

“You're not mad? I left you waiting here for almost 15 minutes; why are you not mad at me?” He was unbelievably close to you by now. Staring into your eyes, dumbfounded, and looking at your waiting for you to snap at him. Desperately hoping he could make things better. The man had a strong thirst for knowledge, one that he was always trying to fulfill. He did not understand how anyone could love him. How could one feel the same way as he feels? You not being mad at him genuinely puzzled him. Why were you not mad?

“Severus, it’s not like you were just laying in bed blowing me off.”

“But I was late.”

“And you were cleaning up mystery goo, were you not?”

“Yeah, but I was late; you should be mad at me.”

“I’m not, though.”

“But why?” his voice had almost a childlike curiosity in it as he interrogated you as to why you were not mad at him. You stare at him for a moment and think of a response. Should you be mad at the man? He was late, but he had a good reason and was currently on the verge of tears in fear you would be mad at him.

“You apologized to me before I could even realize it was you, and you feel genuinely guilty for it, so even though I was never mad, for your peace of mind, I forgive you. Now go sit on your side and look at the menu. I already know what I want.”

Before he gets up, he wraps his arms around you, enveloping you in his scent. Immediately, you melt against him and wrap around him as well, relishing in him.

“Did you bring the book because you knew I was going to be late?” he whispers in your ear, still sounding a tad guilty. By now, you had completely forgotten about the book and were just focusing on him.

"Partially, but I also think you’ll like it,” you whisper back to him, giving him a squeeze before releasing him and gazing over his face. The tears from his eyes had vanished now, and he seemed to not be as upset.

The man went to the other side of the booth and took his seat. A small smile finally graced his face as he looked at you. 

He clasped his hands in front of him. "Well, go ahead. Tell me all about it.”

You delve into explaining your book to him. He stared longingly into your eyes as you did so. Happy to have such an understanding partner as you.

[teddy06writes]

Whumptober Masterlist/Overview

Hey guys! I'm going to be attempting to participate in Whumptober this year (though admittedly I did kind of mash together a few different prompt lists). I have about 20 days planned out right now, and I really hope to get through them, but no guarantees unfortunately, because I do have other stuff going on in my life. Also most of these are in fact just going to be hurt/comfort because I am a weak man. Also yes I am aware that the variation in these characters is kind of insane, don't come at me.

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Day One - Survivors Guilt/"It's not your fault." - Robert 'Bob' Floyd - An accident during a training hop leaves your WSO badly injured, and you can't help but blame yourself. Bob makes it his mission to convince you otherwise.

Day Two - Migraines - Darry Curtis - Juggling a migraine and the Curtis gang is not the easiest thing in the world. Luckily, Darry is there to come to your rescue and tell the others off

Day Three - Overstimulation - Diego Hargreeves - (1960s, autistic Reader) - Between the prison break, Diego's strange brother, and home movie footage showing the assassination of the president, your not sure how much more you can take.

Day Four- Field medicine/"Hang on, we're going to have to improvise." - Fili - Even with the battle beginning to turn in your favor, there are still many losses to come, no matter how hard you work to prevent them.

Day Five - "You don't need to earn this." - Tommy Shelby - When your surprises and gentle treatment catch Tommy by surprise, he questions what he'd done to deserve it.

Day Six - Hostile environment/"I don't know how anyone could survive that." - Alfie Solomons - (War Era, Male Reader) - A poorly planned attack leaves you stuck in no mans land. Even if you make it back to the so called "safety" of the English trenches, nothing will ever be the same.

Day Seven - Needles/Stitching - John Shelby - After being sent on another needless errand by his brother, John returns late, exhausted and bloody.

Day Eight - Panic Attack - Aaron Hotchner - When a case that hits too close to home has too many missing pieces, and seemingly no end, you can't help but fall prey to a growing sense of panic.

Day Nine - Falling Asleep in a hospital room - Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw - When a training incident gone wrong lands Bradley in the hospital, you take it upon yourself to stay with him.

Day Ten - "Shhh, I've got you now, I'm here." - Alfie Solomons - Sabini's men kidnap you in a desperate attempt to get a leg up on your husband. When Alfie finds out, he's ready to burn the world down to get to you.

Day Eleven - Chronic pain - Boromir - The first day of a cold spell causes your pain to flare up, but you're determined to grit your teeth through the pain. Boromir however, is determined to get you to rest.

Days Twelve - Fourteen Break Days

Day Fifteen - Hiding an Injury - Aragorn - Somewhere in the thicket of Helms Deep, you're injured, but in the chaos that follows, doing anything about it seems to slip your mind.

Day Sixteen - "I did good, right?" - Umbrella Academy Unit - A mission gone wrong forces you to over use your powers, pushing you too far.

Day Seventeen - Bleeding Through Bandages - Kili - After being injured in escaping the Orcs, Oin does his best to heal you, but miles down the road, it doesn't seem to be enough.

Day Eighteen - Nightmare - Alfie Solomons - Night after night, you are plagued with nightmares, and Alfie seems to be the only thing that can cure them.

Day Nineteen - Scars - Diego Hargreeves - While patching Diego up after a fight, you see his scars for the first time.

Day Twenty - "Who did this to you?" - Dallas Winston - You get jumped, Dally plots revenge.

Day Twenty One - "You haven't done anything wrong." - Aaron Hotchner - (Autistic reader) - After a particularly long day, you find yourself overwhelmed and unsure. Luckily Aaron is there to help you calm down, no matter how much you protest.

Day Twenty Two - Chronic Pain (again) - Alife Solomons - Getting Alfie to take a day off when his sciatica is bothering him is a full time job.

Day Twenty Three - Exhaustion - Darry Curtis - Darry has been working himself to the utter bone. You take it upon yourself to make him rest.

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These might not get posted consecutively, but I'll do my best.