#i also believe that they are some flavor of trans and queer

[coff-in]

i love my little guys, they all have a place in my head and heart.

this is another tcoaal oc, however they're more flexiable than my other one's when it comes to their role? they can either be a sibling or a kid of andrew and ashley (not decided and can go either way in my head).

their name is just a. graves for now (i sometimes call them andromeda), and they insist on not being called anthony... that is a different person. they're a introverted person and a NEET, they're always at home reading a book and listening to music in their bedroom. they do not want to meet new people or make new friends, they're perfectly content with just their family.

they weren't always so doom and gloom! they were pretty jovial and hopeful when they were a young lad, excited to grow up and do all sorts of cool stuff! they would maybe be a cook, or an astronaut, or a firefighter... but that was then, and now they've just sort of given up. it doesn't really matter what they are in the end, does it?

if i had to write them with my other graves sibling ocs, they'd be twins with aria (both are the youngest/18 years old in my head) and share their heterochromia (aria has a pink right eye and green left eye, a. has a green left eye and a pink right eye)

a mutual in the tags said that they look like andrew! this was on purpose at first when they were younger but overtime they decided to just let their hair grow out more. they do get mistaken for andrew sometimes at school and they do not like it (they don't necessarily hate it though)

(the playlist is just songs that i think fit them or that they'd like, they do not fit the time period though (late 1990's/early 2000's) so please keep that in mind)

that's all for now :3

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

It's like if you don't like erotica go read smth else??

respectfully I agree with you broadly but also feel like this is missing the point of why, specifically, the lovely people I've been corresponding with today are so opposed to so-called "dark romances"

when you make something a moral panic you can't just look away and do something else. if you look at some of the people responding to my post, they genuinely and sincerely believe that dark romance poses a tangible, real threat to people (namely women) by convincing them to accept and emulate the dangerous and abusive dynamics they read about.

an apt comparison may be the frequent glib retort to opponents of gay marriage: "if you don't like it, don't get gay married!" it's a decent goof, sure, but the thing is that many of these people don't just think gay marriage is gross, they think it's a very literal threat to the moral fabric of society. in particular, many anti-queer bigots sincerely believe that many children who would otherwise be good, normal members of cishet society are tricked or groomed into being queer, whether by sexually abusive adults (there's a LONG history of gay men being seen as targeting young boys this way, in particular) or cartoons with queer characters or by strangers on the internet pressuring them to trans their genders. these bigots can't just ignore gay and trans people and mind their own business, because to do so is to ignore a real, horrific danger to children and society right under their noses. they're wrong, obviously, but that's what they genuinely believe.

this particular flavor of anti-dark romance girlies are on the same thing: no, the fiction is not just fiction, and is actively making vulnerable and suggestive women more susceptible to accepting abusive behavior. they can't just read something else and leave women who enjoy those romances alone, because those women are endangering themselves and they have a moral obligation to say something about it.

which, again, isn't true, but you have to understand that some people are engaging with this one a MUCH different level than just "these books aren't to my personal taste."

[coyoteprince]

Some thoughts on the masculine side of my gender experience and how it ties into vulnerability

I am nonbinary, I believe some flavor of fluid, but I just read as a goth cis woman to the layperson. That's fine and good, there is a safety and privilege in being stealth even with the alternative way I dress, but there also feels like a safe with something precious I keep locked away in me.

I take comfort in referring to myself as a "woman with a man's personality" and likening myself to a kelpie or nymph: beautiful, soft, but merely a vision of a woman: in reality underneath the gossamer, a beast that fails man's words.

Occasionally, something stirs to life in me, similar but different: those feelings of masculinity. I am naturally positioned by my genes (I can grow a shitty sparse beard) and temperament to have some secondary features- but thats it.

And yet, when the pangs of longing ache, they come on suddenly and harsh and I feel trapped.

There is nothing I can truly do to feel comfortable with the swing of identity. Only shapeshifiting back and forth could satisfy me which is impossible. Yes, I could seek hormones or surgery, but I have decided for now to not for a variety of reasons. As part of that, I've always been rather... defensive and secretive about the masculine part of my identity. I have a secondary masculine name I only allow people I trust to call me, and this dumb tumblr post is the first time I'm admitting some rather personal things to the public eye.

I'm well aware today many won't respect the nature of my gender just because I am a ~nonbinary girl~ and not seeking permanent transition, but even before that the thought of being trans was too much for me.

The first time I realized I was trans I wasn't older than 15 and noticed the thoughts I was experiencing about wanting to feel like a boy. It frightened me so bad that I vowed to never give it attention again specifically because I already knew I was queer, mentally different, being abused, and "didn't need another target on my back". Haha. Hahaha

Ignoring those thoughts hasn't been too hard except when I see the ghost of my identity. Then it is overwhelming, like a wave crashing over me and threatening to sweep me into the tide. Painful and exhilarating all at once. Before I know it, it's gone again.

I read and watched The Outsiders in middleschool, as did many. I latched onto Johnny, a greaser kid with an abusive family who tried to play tough but was really just an incredibly scared, sweet runt. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I identified so hard with him but hindsight is 20/20. Despite the hamminess of Outsiders, I continue to hold a fondness.

Later, when I became comfortable with my nonbinary ID (something that was quite difficult for me) and an adult, I saw another ghost. A theme now set: soft hearted greasers. The first time I heard this I curled up and couldn't stop replaying it even though it made my chest ache.

Finally, the last ghost I've seen and what really made it all click for me was Izzy.

I was neutral of Izzy for the first season (sorry my old man fucker peers), but seeing him become disabled and starting to soften made me intrigued. Then, the drag scene and him singing: I yelped in excitement, bewilderment, and bawled like never before. It was the most intense gender euphoria I've ever felt. Izzy shot to the top of my favorite characters ever in an instant with all he grew to embody.

I guess I identify with boys clad in leather, forced to become rugged in all the wrong ways. Underneath, a natural softness terrified but desperate to show itself.

You can see this in Waite, too: A handsome, dark man who is oh so soft underneath. It's no secret that in my story over time he accepts his nonbinary identity and allows his truth to be seen framed by carnations and frill. Perhaps he is what I wish I was.

On the other hand, Degare is somewhat closer to my reality. A gender all his own, effeminant masculine mannerisms, fairly feminine dress, breasts and vagina and all- though he is still often more masculine than how I present. In contrast to Waite's uneasy fear of judgement, he tries to guard his natural softness rather aggressively out of fear of being taken advantage of.

I'm sure to many reading this I sound like a transmasc "egg" that hasn't cracked yet. To others, very mentally ill. Maybe to some who are fluid, they know the wish-washy feelings.

Either way, I'm a proud freak and I've worked hard to not allow others to hold power over how I view myself anymore. These past 4 years through a cocktail of treatments (though meditation and practice have been the biggest game changers) I've diligently learned how to balance being openly loving to all and authentic- yet protecting my energy and staying sure of my identity no matter another's opinion. Misery loves company and bitter, paranoid gossips and I no longer get along.

Softness, kindness, vulnerability for others and yourself are all difficult, at times seemingly impossible things to achieve when you come from a harsh upbringing and live in a world bombarded by bad news. Change in your view and behavior is excrusiating. But I believe striving for authenticity and love is the most important thing we can do as humans in this life.

Whether I end up transitioning down the line or staying as I am, I've learned to cherish these flashes of masculine desire and be empowered by vulnerability- and I don't regret it.

[arotaro]

I love voidpunk but I’m also curious about if there are any guidelines or rules, like what things are allowed and what things aren’t? /genq sorry if you’ve answered this before or answered something similar and I missed it I’m not super pro at finding stuff 😭 also double sorry if it’s an offensive question to ask. I’m genuinely not trying to offend you I’m just trying to learn more and since I’m kind of a baby queer I want to make sure the words I use fit me.

You can check the voidpunk tag on my blog, since I have talked about it before, but I'll go over some quick points:

There is no "requirement" for participating in voidpunk. Anyone who tells you "oh, only such-and-such group can be voidpunk" or anything along those lines is lying. HOWEVER:

The "punk" part of voidpunk is not there for no reason. It is tied to the punk subculture and it's best to have a general understanding of this subculture before participating in voidpunk. Also, voidpunk is specifically a reaction to dehumanization, and it's important to understand that certain people experience this more than others. People of color get dehumanized. Disabled people get dehumanized. People with personality disorders get dehumanized. Trans people get dehumanized. Aspecs get dehumanized. etc. etc. We are here to call attention to and take power away from this, not to be niceys about it. I left the voidpunk subreddit and its associated Discord server because it was full of entitled white cunts who acted like they couldn't possibly be racist because they were autistic or some shit and I was being sooooo mean and disruptive for asking them not to be blatantly racist, and I just want to make it clear that if this had been a real life social group and not an online space, I would have knocked their teeth out. Understand? That said, you don't have to be every oppressed minority ever to participate in voidpunk- you just have to be respectful and willing to listen.

One misconception I see very often is that voidpunk is some sort of personal identity along the lines of otherkin, etc. This is not true. Voidpunk is an aesthetic and philosophy, NOT about genuinely believing yourself to be inhuman. There certainly may be people who identify as both voidpunk and otherkin, or what have you, and that's fine! That's cool! I love those people. But they're not synonymous and should not be treated as such. You don't assume I'm really a vampire because I'm goth, right?

Also, the "void" part of voidpunk doesn't really mean anything. Genuinely, it was chosen because it sounds cool. I think another misconception I see sometimes is that voidpunk specifically is about like, literal voids or shadows or black holes or space or something, which is not true. It's kinda whatever. There are as many flavors of voidpunk as there are blue guys in the X-Men.

Have fun!

[eveningrelics]

This pride month, here is a reminder to the younger queer people out there or anyone who apparently needs the refresher:

Games that depict transphobia and homophobia realistically are not bad.

Games that refuse to pull punches when dealing with triggering material are not inherently bad.

My name is Robin. I am nonbinary, 32, game dev sensitivity reader and script editor for multiple titles, but today we're talking about one dear to my heart:

Mare is an RPGMaker Horror game about trauma.

It is covered in trigger warnings and tells you each of them extensively. On the game page, when you start. And in the read me.

Horror games about trauma will depict trauma. Feels self explanatory, no?

Well, last night, someone went across my sister's social media pages, telling her to die, because she depicted transphobia in the game.

Some major spoilers, but they'll be brief.

At the climax of the game, the Pov shifts to show that the events of the game transpired due to a suicide attempt by a transwoman named Chiyo.

In this brief gameplay segment, you have the option to interact with her PC where you can see online hate she has received, one of which is "a tranny is still a tranny".

This segment was co-written by myself and fully vetted and approved unanimously by all of us, a team composing of multiple queer and trans individuals. We are all horror fans and the realistic depiction of our struggles and the abuse we face was cathartic, but as a result, we also made it clear to not interact with the game if you could not handle heavy subject matter.

This was, ironically, the tamest version of the scene I suggested but the best one, I believe.

I should note, this scene is five hours in. After multiple child deaths, suicides, abuse, etc.

But someone came to my sister, @zmakesgames and told her she should die for including a Trans main character and portraying that they deal with transphobia.

This is not okay.

If you don’t find this type of media cathartic, that's okay, but you don't have the right to police those of use who do, especially when it's coming from an ally inspired in part by listening to the struggles of her older sibling and friends and trying to help give them a voice.

If you can not handle triggering content in your media, do not engage with media that contains those triggers, but it is never, ever acceptable to stalk or tell a dev to kill themselves because you willingly engaged with media you knew would be harmful to yourself.

If you got through this, hi, @zmakesgames is the kindest person I know and all her games are a flavor of rainbow because she is also a lesbian. Please support your queer game devs this June and all year.

Thanks.

[citizensun]

Queerness and the House of Usher (spoilers!)

See I just added these Thoughts to the tags in @quecksilvereyes 's post but now I have Feelings too

TFotHoU (or HoU, as I will refer to it here), as expected from a Mike Flannagan show, has a bunch of Queer Rep™ to talk about. HoU is, also, about remarkably evil people - amoral capitalists who'll step over anyone if it means they'll get something from it. And look! Some of them are queer! Kinky too!

That's bad queer representation... right?

The show isn't that clear when stablishing sexualities, but we see that at least three of the Usher kids - Napoleon, Camille and Victorine - have same sex SOs/assistants with curious job descriptions. Prospero's taste for orgies probably implies queerness too, but honestly I don't remember if he gets it going with any guys in the story. I honestly have no idea about Tamerlane's voyerism thingie and Frederick is the only one with a "traditional family" going on.

Unrelated, but: Leo is definitely cheating on his bf Julius. Completely dismissing about his worries for him too. And for his cat. That's objectively evil, clearly. Vic literally killed her fiancée Alessandra, though she didn't stuff her under the floorboard, which is an L when compared to Poe's original. Cam doesn't believe in true love. Perry blackmailed his sister in law. Mean. He's also got a surprisingly high kill count for the family's disappointment, but since unlike Roderick he only killed rich people, we stan. I don't belong in Kinky spaces so I haven't got a big take on Tammie, only that - well, she's completely dismissing of her husband and sees him as a prop, just like the sex worker she hires.

Huh.

See, the nature of a story called "the fall of X family" is that X family is going to be the main character. The title kinda implies that they're falling for a reason, ergo, they're despicable fucking people. And they're queer! They're very queer. Many flavors of gay. They're the main characters, and they're monsters, and they're gay.

No, that's not bad rep.

Queerness as a movement, a community and a theory is very focused on scaping a cisheteronormative society's binaries (ie man/woman, husband/wife, public/private) and creating living conditions to those who fall outside of these categories - mlms and wlws, the trans, the nbs, the aros and aces... we are all queer, strange and estranged from this weird and limited worldview. And so we create a community for ourselves. It's very focused on care and anti-stablishment. Since a cisheteronormative society tends to be very white, rich and western, it's also focuses on anti-racism, anti-capitalism, anti-imperialism. Y'all know that, this is Tumblr and we love leftist Discourse.

I also know many, many gay people irl who are not like that at all. Libertarians, anarcho-capitalists, terfs, completely apolitical people and the like. Sexuality at it's core is personal, not political, so there are gay people out there who are perfectly comfortable with their sexuality on an individual level but do not see the point of getting involved in the broader context. They're queer, but are they...?

Well—

Not to mention there's lots of asshole gays out there! Don't you have a shitty ex? Have you never been almost run over by a drunken butch who blew cigar smoke into your face? I have! Life experiences are just like that. Maybe you should touch more grass. You'll probably find a lucky gift from your neighbour's dog, who is an astrology-obsessed bisexual and also really hot but stopped making out with you at a party once she found out you're a pisces (the neighbour, not the dog).

(Granted, none of this is as bad as implanting an experimental heart contraption into the fiancée you just killed because she dared to have ethical principles and then being so consumed with grief you stab yourself in front you'd your dad but you know how it goes. We're not the 1%.)

My point is, queer people are people. We are complex. We fuck up, and sometimes there's still times to fix things and sometimes... there isn't. We're consumed by jealousy and regret and sometimes we're so locked into our own head we stop believing the rest of the world is real too. Just like any other people, because unfortunately, queerness isn't a sign of morality.

And even if queerness does mean community, kindness and acceptance, tell me... Where the hell would the Usher kids get those from? The people around them are not really peers – they're ass-istants, blowjob-giving apartments, orgy mates, heart surgery providers, hired fitness moneybags, perfect housewives. Even if the partners are all shown to care for the Ushers, there's still a distance, a power gap, that makes the relationships fundamentally wrong.

And the partners? Arguably they're the good queer rep in the show, but look – even when Julius and Alessandra are shown to be good people (or at least people with an ethical boundary), they're not the good gays, they're simply the good SO's to a family of psychos. Exactly like Bill and Morrie, who afawk are straight people.

Which leads us to HoU's parameter of morality - Auguste Dupin. He refuses to drink the Amontillado, symbol of all the Usher opulence over the years. He got screwed over by the Usher twins and by the Raven herself, but he refused to cave in (except for the informant part, admittedly). He's not a good gay guy; he is gay and he is a good man.

The fundamental difference between our show's main tragic yaoi couple isn't that Auggie is a happily out gay man (and therefore is good) while Roderick is a sad divorced hetero (and therefore is bad). Auggie is the richer man because he is a good man; he has a spouse and children and grandchildren he loves with all his heart. He has a family and a community and he has found a sort of happiness no money can buy. Roderick owns the world – but what does he really have? What do his children even have? How could they ever build communities for themselves if they were never in one? Their father made them compete for his love. He never nurtured their bonds, he just showered them with money and excess until it was too much for them to handle. Juno herself pointed out - they were never a family. The House of Usher was only that. A house. It is empty and soulless.

What is queerness without a community? How could the people who represent the relentless corporate normativity and cutthroat capitalism ever be good queer rep? How can they even be queer?

Hear me out: on the most individual, simple level, being queer is still about not fitting in. These kids are bastards. They are are PoC and women in a predominantly male and white dominated space. They're on top of the world, but they're still outsiders to their own House. How could they not be queer?

And yes, I know this discussion takes a different turn when it comes to representation in media, but it's not like Flannagan fell into a Hays Code-era flamboyant villain trope. Queerness is just there. Just like Victorine and August are both black people in (arguably) the opposite ends of the morality spectrum, there are queer characters of many kinds here. The story just happens to be about the fucked up ones.

HoU is a poignant critique of capitalism and a surprisingly funny adaptation of Poe. We'll judge it by that. It happens to be queer – more things should be.

[crazy-pages]

Yes - your experiences with RHPC are also there to mistreat and degender trans women. It's indicative of your privilege why these spaces were "welcoming" to you. Learn to realize that instead of shutting your ears.

I am begging you to get out more. Please, actually go to a Rocky Horror Picture Show showing! You don't even have to go in! Just look at the crowd that shows up. You have this absolutely detached from reality notion of who is watching it and why, and I swear on any god you care to name, if you actually go to one you will see throngs of trans women having an amazing time. It's not for everyone, sure, but (and I can't believe I have to say this) no part of the queer community is a monolith and you need to actually try and understand the experiences of others who feel differently than you.

But no, you know what? I'm gonna put a positive note on this.

Buckle in, I'm planning on making up for all the negativity around this with quite a bit of positivity and it's gonna be long.

The very first time I watched Rocky Horror Picture Show, I was in college, freshman year. I knew I was a bi guy by that point, had dated a guy*, and still felt absolutely petrified being openly bi around strangers. I had no idea how messy my queerness actually was by this point.

*She turned out to be a transfeminine mostly woman genderfluid person later, but at the time it was my first gay relationship.

I'd just had a talk with a straight guy on my floor. He'd made some comments about how he supported pride, but like ... not the gay people who are so out there, you know? That's just uncomfortable.

And damn me, I agreed with him. Not because I actually agreed with him but because the thought of disagreeing petrified me. I didn't know how to say that I actually wanted to be one of those out there queer people. That I wanted to have that bravery. I want it to be accepted, of course, but gods I also craved the simply bravery of people who hung pride flags in their own rooms. Who felt confident enough to say any flavor of "I don't fucking care if you want it, I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it."

And then a trans girl I'd met during orientation invited me to watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show with her. I had no idea what this was. But she got what felt like every damn queer freshman in the entire dorm together. Gay, bi, trans, whatever. Our straight friends? Sure. Some of us who turned out to be very queer later and who she somehow clocked? You betcha. She got us all together in the dorm lounge, which was open and faced the elevator. Every single person moving through the dorm that evening would be able to see us.

And she put The Rocky Horror Picture Show on.

It was every single queerphobic stereotype the 70s could throw together. Transmisogyny? Hah! That shit went beyond transmisogynistic depiction, the demons out of the fevered imaginings of 70s straight culture weren't broken down into categories. Faggot? Dyke? Tranny? They all meant the same thing and it was totally indistinguishable to your average suburban straight person in the 70s. They had no damn concept up there being a difference between a guy who wants to fuck other guys and a guy who pretends to be a woman. The decree of vicious stereotypical othering on display was literally beyond current conception. It was everything that straight guy I had talked to was thinking of when he said "gay people who are so out there", distilled and refined.

And it. Was. Joyous.

It was a movie which took hold of all of those stereotypes, even the explicitly predatory and infectious and doomsaying ones, and screamed "YES! SO FUCKING WHAT!? WE'RE HERE, WE'RE QUEER, AND WE FUCKING LOVE IT!" It is a movie which takes the stuffy suburban point of view characters and makes them queer. It does so in a way that embodies every aspect of the 70s fear of infectious homosexual permiscuity and then shows it as joyous! As liberating and wonderful and the best fucking experience of their lives!! Its characters were messy and full of conflict and doomed from the beginning and also gloriously fucking alive and happy to be queer!!!

At the end of it the trans girl I'd met during orientation, who would go on to be my friend for the next decade to this day, asked me what I thought of it.

I said I really liked it.

I meant it had changed my life.

She started gushing about it, and a lot of the freshman went back to their dorms at this point, but the rest of us talked for what must have been longer than the movie itself about all of the queerness in it. Yeah about the trans misogynistic stereotypes and the homophobic stereotypes and the complicated way the movie both mirrors and subverts the way 70s discourse about queer culture and even the way it elided cis queer women. And we did it all in plain view of everybody. We were the queers in your face and it meant the world to me.

The second time I went to a Rocky Horror Picture Show showing, I was actually invited by a straight friend who was invited by some queer friends he didn't know quite as well as me. (It really ended up being the two of us going together.) I was living in Arizona at the time, which is not quite as bad as the Deep South but still pretty damn conservative and it made being openly queer scary as hell.

I had realized at the time that I liked wearing skirts. Like, really liked wearing skirts. A lot. Lots of gender euphoria about it. Now like I said, my queerness is messy. I am very much a man. I am also pretty sure I want to get bottom surgery someday. I genuinely don't know if that makes me cis or trans. Hell I'm not sure what the word for that even is. Transsexual maybe?? But at that time, I was still figuring it all out. I didn't know if I was a trans woman or not. I knew I didn't really feel like a woman or want to be a woman or vibe with feminine secondary sex characteristics, but like ... I dunno when you're getting euphoria over wearing skirts and in the deep dark recesses of your mind you think you want a vagina, it's kind of impossible to not ask that question.

And the thing is, I had never been out in public in a skirt before. I'd never even been out in public with makeup before.

But I had that experience with Rocky Horror Picture Show to draw on. I knew that showings of this movie were where you go to be openly, loudly, unapologetically queer.

So I put on a skirt and a see-through shirt and really intense makeup (not in this picture unfortunately) and the biggest smile I felt like I'd ever worn in my life, and I went to The Rocky Horror Picture Show with my friend.

Now for those of you who don't know, there's a tradition at showings where people who haven't attended a showing before get marked with a V for virgin, and called up on stage before the showing to get kind of lightly sexually hazed. It was very explicitly done with consent at the showing I went to, everybody was made to understand they could bow out at any point and that it was all in good fun and in the service of expanding people's boundaries. Stuff like being asked to kiss other people in queer ways, encouraging a blushing baby lesbian to motorboat a hot older woman in leather, getting two guys to do an overwrought romance improv, etc.

And when I got to the door with my friend, there was someone working the door who was some flavor of queerly transfeminine and supremely confident about it. She looked at my friend and immediately asked him if he'd been before and gave him the V. (He came in a tshirt and jeans.) Then she looked at me.

And I'm never going to forget what she said.

She gave me a look up and down, chuckled, and said, "Yeah you've done this before, go on in."

I had not actually done this before, I hadn't gone to a proper showing and so I missed out on the virgin experience, but I could not bring myself to care. Because I was riding the high of her comment for days. I'm still riding it, to be honest.

She hadn't recognized me as any particular gender or flavor of queerness. All I knew was that she had seen a visibly masculine dude with a buzz cut and a skirt and poorly done makeup and said "Oh yeah. You're one of us. ❤️"

Also my straight friend had a great fucking time and we ended up gushing about it for like an hour afterward and I got to pass on a bunch of the stuff I learned from my old trans friend about the history of the queerphobic stereotypes on display and the underlying meaning of aggressively joyous claiming of that from the '70s queer movement.

So yeah. It is a movie which portrays queerness as intrinsically alien to straight society. The creator is a genderqueer man who believes that trans women are women, but an intrinsically different flavor of women, an opinion which has aged very poorly and quite justifiably gotten him scorned by the modern trans community. And some modern queer people, especially trans women who are sensitive to portrayals of transmisogyny, are going to feel uncomfortable with the movie.

And yet.

I've had people in my DMs and anons in my asks yelling at me for saying there are transwomen who like this movie, and that the question of whether it's trans misogynistic is more complicated than whether it portrays transmisogynistic stereotypes. Most of those have involved people screaming at me that they're sure it must have only been trans men and tme (transmisogyny excluded) people attending showings (and you could really feel the sprayed derisive spittle as they typed those terms), that it's impossible for any true trans woman to enjoy showings of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

And to those people, and to you, all I can hope to do is share these experiences with you and hope you try to understand the different queer experiences of others.

Not just mine.

But the experience of a trans girl who I'm sure was feeling even more alone and isolated as a queer freshman than I was. Who assembled a whole group of queer kids, who sat with her to take the very nightmare stereotypes which haunted her every day and turn them into a weapon of raucous joy and in your face queer solidarity with her.

And the experience of the person at the door of my first showing, queer and transfeminine and supremely confident about it, seeing some baby queer looking like every damn flavor of masculinity rocking up in a skirt and poorly done makeup. Saying "Hey kid. You're one of us," and watching the baby queer's face light up like a million Christmas trees.

You don't have to like the movie. But the people who like it? Are here, are queer, are - yes - even trans women.

Get used to it.

[consumedbyfeels]

I'm sorry but Disney get your facts right. I've seen several places where Disney is calming that the Rouge/Doctor kiss was the first gay moment is Doctor who/ with the Doctor. Excuse me?

First off have we forgot my beloved Captain Jack Harkness? He kissed the Doctor on the mouth and flirted a lot with him before that, then proceeded to flirt with everyone else and I do mean everyone. For crying out loud we met this man when he called rose's bottom excellent then turned around and told the man behind him he had an exsilent bottom as well. Not to mention Torchwood and the whole Ianto thing and the John Hart thing but lets ignore that for the sake of this since it's a different show even though it's the same universe.

Not to mention Jenny and Madame Vastra the Victorian lady and her lizard woman from the dawn of time Wife. Technically Sapphic but Disney is acting like they invented the queerness is Doctor Who so I feel the need to point it out

Master/Missy thing with the Doctor was also definitely fruity but they never kissed so I'll conceded it doesn't really count.

Don't get me started on Clara and Jane Austen I believe it was, I vaguely remember a few Clara being queer of some flavor moment but it's been a while since I watched her seasons so forgive me.

Bill was a lesbian canonically and even had a girlfriend for a bit.

I'm sure I forgetting loads of moments and things but like i said it's been a while since I've done a full watch through so it's not as fresh.

But basically Disney you did not invent the gayness in Doctor Who it has been there forever, do better. Representation is great but you don't get to take credit for something you did not create.

Edit: I have been informed that I was wrong on a couple of things. Thank you for correcting me and I will have to do a re-watch. Rose was not the first trans character. Cassandra used to be a little boy and missy and twelve kissed. Again thank you for correcting me in the comments and please continue to do so if I got anything wrong or forgot something.

[the-golden-vanity]

💚 for the Terror. 💖🧡 and 📖 (but chapter(s) instead of entire book(s)) for Moby Dick

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

Ooh, it's time to make some enemies.

I really, really dislike the popular fanon characterizations of James Fitzjames. Depending on what particular flavor of queer a fanwork is depicting him as, the kind of... shallow femininity that gets forced on him makes me MASSIVELY uncomfortable. It often comes across as somewhere between homophobic and misogynistic caricature, personality stripped away and replaced with a pretty dress.

I can see where this started, though—the pre-Carnivale dress scene is something that's very important to a lot of Terror fans, and perhaps something that endeared them to a character whose Empire-loving, glory-hounding, "the atrocities I've committed are fun table conversation"-believing ways are (hopefully) unsympathetic to a modern audience. Still, I'd like to see more fanworks engage with that side of James Fitzjames—the tool of an empire that can never love him back.

This isn't to say I don't love queer or trans readings of Fitzjames! I just want to see the character still be a glory-hounding veteran of an imperialist war, and someone I can still believe would shoot rockets at bears.

💖: Already answered here!

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

I had to think about this one for a bit. I'd say it's the take that I see floating around on the Internet a lot that Moby-Dick is cosmic horror. If we're taking cosmic horror to mean the horror of the incomprehensible, the impossibly alien, the Things Man Was Not Meant To Know, then there is exactly one chapter that fits the bill—"The Castaway", which includes maybe my favorite passage of the whole book.

However, almost the entire rest of the book is our narrator-protagonist making sense of the whale, as if knowing everything he can about it is his way of coping with the devastating trauma of losing everyone he spent two years of his life living with.

It's almost reverse cosmic horror—rather than a sane man going mad from coming face to face with an incomprehensible monstrosity, our mentally ill (traumatized/depressed/bipolar/open to interpretation) protagonist makes meaning for himself by learning to comprehend the monstrosity.

📖: If you had to remove one chapter from the book, which would you choose?

Ooh, that's a good question. And a hard one.

Moby-Dick is, rather famously, full of chapters upon chapters of whale facts, some of which are even true. I will not be getting rid of any of those. Those are load-bearing whale facts. You pull them out, and the book collapses into a respectable revenge tragedy, rather than the earth-shattering psychological epic that it is. The whale facts represent both the fact that for long stretches of a sea voyage, nothing particularly exciting is going on, and you have time to contemplate things like the immense scarred brow of the whale, and also that this story is being told by a traumatized man who's going off on tangents because he really doesn't want to get around to the part of the story where he loses everything and all of his friends die.

If I had to get rid of one chapter, it would probably be "The Town Ho's Story". Of all the ill omens and tales of woe that the Pequod's crew encounter on their fateful final voyage, this one drags out longest and (to me) was one of the less memorable. However, I'm sure it's probably someone's favorite chapter. Many of them are.

Thank you so much, @georges-chambers/@alienmythologist! You gave me much to think about.

Ask me for my unpopular opinions about boat stories!

[velvetvexations]

bonus concept bc youve touched on it and idk how to shoehorn it into any given reply: fourth genders. (and also fifth genders).

fourth genders are the missing descriptor for transmasculinity and when i learned abt them the other night i almost cried bc i just kinda, idk, id begun to start believing that most non-western alt genders are skewed transfeminine and that transmasculine people just happened to not exist.

sometimes 3-5 are collapsed into third gender, but people and educational materials and stuff dont use the term to refer to transmasculine genders. the visibility here is sort of like, foundational visibility, in a sense: when learning basic overviews of queerness and queer history, trans women (and transfems/etc) know without a doubt that there have historically been people at least Somewhat Like Them.

(somewhat, bc, like, western concept of gender/simplifying/etc)

in lists of translated terms for trans identities in other cultures, the terms for trans women specifically sweep the board in comparison to any amount of terms that explicitly refer to transmasculine people (as in: like, listing both). i had to really scour through versions of a presentation about native american genders and saw, through iterations of it, missing transmasculine terms were added in at an oddly high rate

but when people take terms from it--theyre using the og version. they dont care enough to find the missing terms, to go "man, arent all these really specific for trans women?" its erasure through ambivalence and negligence.

i just idk, assumed that i just couldnt connect with transness in other places for the longest time, and before i knew i was trans, didnt understand that i was allowed to be trans in the opposite direction. id been kinda forcibly spoonfed the idea that trans men are less valued across time and space as a rule.

i mean fuck, i only learned about drag kings within like, the last year or two. its like repeatedly waking up and just learning that theres a term for the thing i am, its trans male, (and also genderqueer/bigender/etc etc etc), and then having some complex sort of mental reaction that idk how to describe, like having a portion of a certain flavor of existential dysphoria lessened (seeing a glimpse of existential euphoria?).

(once again in the back of my mind im concerned abt sending this and seeming weird esp bc of how long it is off anon, but also, the dopamine of the "ask answered" notification goes Crazy, and youre one of very few people who both Get It and enjoy like, communication en masse? like just showing up and infodumping at you)

Gender is a long path of self-discovery. It's amazing how much I'm still learning about myself even as old as I'm getting.

[red-hibiscus]

BL characters I relate to most as a mentally ill gay trans man

Daisy from SCOY

Surprising no one, I, a trans person, relate to Daisy. They're outgoing and seemingly don't care about how people view them. They know they're visibly queer and they normally don't mind it (from what I see). But at the end of the day, society does affect them. They're hesitant to believe Touch genuinely cares and is attracted to them despite Touch being an absolute green flag who is very direct with his flirting. Even after, Daisy was worried about people would view their relationship with Touch and tried to become Day, a more masculine version of themself. Impossible of course and they broke down emotionally exhausted. I feel that so much because I also don't believe it when people, especially cis gay men, are attracted to me. I've caught myself trying to change my behavior to be more masculine (as I'm a bit on the nonbinary side of things). It's bad, but I know how Daisy feels.

Wang from 180 Degree Longtitude Passes Through Us

As a 26 year old trans gay immigrant in a country that doesn't want me, I have a shit ton of pent up anger that has been building up since I was a child. I've calmed down over the years, but I can still be stubborn and argumentative when it comes to politics and human rights. I'm also a linguistics major, thus an academic.

Wang is so much like myself and like a lot of people around me. Like me and Wang would be close friends irl I know it. We're young and stubborn. We're angry at the older conservative people around us, too much sometimes. So he lashes out. Many of his points are correct, but they're not hitting. Partially because the people he's talking to don't want to change, partially because he himself is stubborn. People like us yearn to be free, to be ourselves and to learn. Wang has a passion for the humanities like myself. Yet he knows society really only cares about STEM fields. I've compromised and am getting a master's in computational linguistics. Even though really I just wanna learn as much as I can about sociolinguistics.

Karl from Gaya Sa Pelikula

I haven't watched GSP in a hot minute, but I do remember feeling very seen.

So in the show Karl has his gay awakening, tries to internally and externally deny it, and eventually let himself be free to feel everything and be himself (at least in private).

Now I didn't have a gay awakening, but I guess you could say a trans awakening. In middle school I felt different, I suspected maybe some flavor of LGBT, but wasn't sure and I was too afraid to think about it too hard. Come high school I secretly wanted to join the LGBT club, but was afraid. Then I was essentially adopted into the LGBT club and dragged into the friend group during lunch because I was a loner like everyone else. At the time still "identified" as a cishet woman. As time went on people started to suspect. "Why are you in the club?", "why did you cut your hair", "why do you dress like that?", "your voice is low for a girl haha", etc. Much like Karl, I was not ready for any of that. I was still struggling to make sense of it all and come to terms with it myself. So I kept rejecting it and every time it hurt.

I kept rejecting it until I couldn't. Until someone I resonated with so much came out as trans and it clicked. My trans awakening was complete. I became able to be more myself, but only in private safe spaces. I wouldn't come out and live as a man until after high school and it was terrifying.

Adachi from Cherry Magic

I've only watched the jpn ver, but I'm sure that character remains the same.

I'm anxious and used to be quite shy. Now I'm just awkward. I'm really bad at seeing the good in myself cause I feel like I'm wandering around aimlessly in life. Not that impressive. So when people compliment me I think "haha they're just being nice" (refer back to me never believing people are actually attracted to me).

Adachi is the exact same. He has the same routine every day. Just going through the motions and not really thinking anything of himself. But then Kurosawa comes along and the ability to read minds. Adachi then realizes "wait, someone I respect so much actually loves me? And thinks I have a lot of good qualities? Makes me wanna cry." And me too Adachi. I'd be the same.

Jared from 7 Days Before Valentine

Jared, my precious baby, is described throughout the show as kind, but weird and different. We later learn that he has dyslexia, and honestly he seems to be somewhere on the autism spectrum. Even if he isn't, he has a behavioral difference people pick up on and then shun him for it.

I too was seen as kinda weird growing up. Maybe it was the autism, maybe it was the social anxiety. Probably both. And then of course there was the gnawing feeling that I was different than everyone else and it turns out it's because I'm trans.

So when Jared said that people didn't talk to him because he wasn't like other people it hit me so hard.

Myungha from Love For Love's Sake

The whole show is sad yet cathartic for me. Myungha is depressed yet spends his time comforting others. He has a hard time loving and receiving love. If you give him a fictional character who is very similar to him he will love them and see all the good, but he doesn't see it in himself. Relatable as hell.

I have an incredibly hard time being honest with my emotions and letting people love me and express attraction. Mostly in a romantic/sexual context. Dpdr is cockblocking me. So dating is hell, but I'm lonely and yearn to not be.

Probably if you put me in a situation like Myungha I'd also go "yep, that right there is my blorbo" and then not realize that all the things I like about the person and make me care about them are things I have.

Honorable mentions:

Both Akk and Ayan from The Eclipse

Nozue from Old Fashion Cupcake

Oh-Aew from I Told Sunset About You

Cher from A Boss and a Babe (I headcannon him as autistic)

Amber from DNA Says Love You

Uea from Bed Friend

Mitsuomi from Restart After Come Back Home

Jao from SCOY

Maybe I'll make another post for those later

[fearsomefive]

Queer DT17 headcanons

Get ready folks this is a long one

Scrooge: Ah yes the Crowley of Ducktales in terms of funky gender and David Tennant-ness. For a while I’ve been a fan of bisexual trans man Scrooge (before season 3 even aired) but I’m also toying around with him being some flavor of multigender

Donald: Bi trans man. This is real to me

Della: Lesbian who uses she/they pronouns, I haven’t decided on an exact headcanon for her gender wise

Huey: I actually don’t have a definitive headcanon for Huey tbh. There’s barely a headcanon out there for him I wouldn’t like

Dewey: I refuse to believe this kid conforms to gender roles no matter what. He is aro to me and I think he genuinely would describe his gender using his name

Louie: Gay trans boy who uses he/they. Something about wearing hoodies all the time is trans as hell

Webby: Lesbian 100%

Beakley: Also a lesbian and definitely had something going on with Black Heron

Fethry: Bi and idk about specifics in gender but probably uses they/he/she (also Gladstone is not on here because I genuinely lean towards him being cishet, sorry Gladstone)

Lena: Nonbinary lesbian whose gender is [shrug]

Violet: Trans girl but really hasn’t even thought about who she might like, it just hasn’t come up

Gyro: I’ve said it a million times but not even canon itself could convince me he isn’t a gay trans man on the aroace spectrum

Boyd: A definitely real boy. (I don’t have a definitive headcanon for him but Astro Boyd is such a trans episode to me)

Fenton: As said earlier, bisexual and uses he/they

Gandra: If you ask Gandra’s gender she’ll probably say “What are you, a cop?” (Bisexual and uses they/she but does not label gender other than ‘sure as hell not cis’)

Drake: Same as Gyro minus the aroace part (Launchpad is not on here due to canonically being pan and me not having a definitive headcanon on whether he is cis or trans, so putting him here would be a bit redundant)

Gosalyn: To me DT17 Gosalyn feels like she either is in or is about to experience a gender crisis, probably ends up describing herself the same way as Lena

José: Bi and stupid (affectionate)

Panchito: Gay (you can’t fool me, og caballeros movie) trans man. I feel this one in my bones for every version of him ever

Daisy: Bisexual trans woman

Storkules: Has this man ever loved anyone the same way he loves Donald, genuinely? I completely doubt it like yeah he loves everyone in some way but uhhh [gestures to the Donald statue he made that one episode and his box of Donald fan art]

Selene: MOON LESBIAN MOON LESBIAN

Penumbra: Obviously a lesbian but I love imagining she has a weird gender. Once she becomes familiar with butches on Earth she fits in pretty well, also I don’t imagine her caring about what pronouns someone uses for her

[cardentist]

apparently there's discourse (not in the bad way, just the discussion way) surrounding lich and trans headcanons because of how he talks about michaela in the books

so here's my opinion as a trans person (other trans people are allowed to have different opinions but this one is mine):

I believe that mothy himself is well meaning about his trans and gay representation, but is unfamiliar with what We'd consider problematic. I'm not familiar enough with either mothy or the general culture of japan to say if this is the result of mothy himself being out of touch, or japanese queer culture just being different from the US's. but either way this is my read on the situation.

and so I engage with evillious with that in mind. it's a series that means well but has problematic elements. and that doesn't have to be a Bad thing, it's just something that needs some awareness while taking it in.

so when mothy writes lich openly acknowledging and accepting that michaela is his sister but then Also has him refer to her with her dead name I don't see that as mothy intentionally portraying lich as transphobic or unaccepting of her. it is, after all, how mothy chose to reveal that she was a trans woman in the first place (introducing us to "lich's brother michael" and having it revealed that she was michaela all along, and having lich acknowledge her as his sister now).

and I think there are two ways to go about this with this understanding.

we could simply gloss over the issue, because at the end of the day we're not going to be able to sit mothy down and explain why it can be hurtful to trans people. we don't have that direct communication with him. and it's not being written with the intent of being read as malicious on lich's part, so it's simply easier to smooth it over.

Or we could translate mothy being well intentioned but misinformed onto lich as a character trait. this works best within the context of him having to learn what he's doing wrong and grow, but obviously it's up to personal interpretation.

as for trans headcanons, there's nothing wrong with that in the first place. trans people are misinformed sometimes, nobody comes out of the womb socially conscious and fully aware of modern sensibilities.

having lich realize that they aren't a man could be tied into lich gaining a better understanding of transness. having lich be transmasc already and just not knowing any better because He doesn't mind these things and hasn't stopped to think that other people may feel differently. having lich be whatever flavor of trans you want in whatever way you want just because it's fun and you'd like to. it's all fine and doesn't hurt anybody

I would Also like to point out that levia has been making fun of behemo for wearing dresses and make up since she was introduced as a character, and people tend not to call her transphobic or highlight this as transphobia.

yes, there is more ambiguity in behemo's case as mothy has never stated outright what behemo's identity is, but calling someone you interpret as a man disgusting or weird for wearing dresses Is Transphobia (and was specifically highlighted As transphobia/bigotry that behemo has faced during barisol's child) regardless of what that person's gender actually is.

I personally like levia a lot, just like I like lich and behemo and michaela, and Personally I think they're all trans Because I like them. and I'm not saying that we should Start defining levia's character by this trait.

but I Am saying that it's an obvious double standard to hold lich as a character accountable while Not doing the same for levia when arguably levia is intentionally written as being harmful while lich isn't.

anyways, I think it's funny if levia realizes he's a trans man that still likes to wear dresses and make up, and I think lich is seth's boyfriend and banica's girlfriend and eater's -̴̱͔̫̭̎̆͆-̴̠͚͘͜-̶̺̰̙̦͗-̸̡̻̽̅-̴̢̹̰̠͐͑̃̈̑friend, and equally trans no matter what

(also potential lich and carlos dynamic intrigues me but I think it's much funnier if they aren't dating each other. banica's husband and banica's girlfriend silently and awkwardly eating brunch together because they figure they're supposed to hang out but between the two of them there isn't one drop of social intelligence)

(they do this every day, it never gets any better)

[queer-reader-07]

ok buckle up cuz we’re talking about ✨religious trauma✨ today (i’m allowed to sparkle emoji it this is entirely a self insert meta)

ok so aziraphale in the context of religious trauma. specifically, why i think his character is one of the most accurate and real portrayals of religious trauma in media. and i want to explore that because i’ve seen it talked about a little bit but my raised catholic turned queer trans self has some more thoughts.

a lot more under the cut

i’m sure we’ve all seen the “why would aziraphale leave crowley?” “why would he go to heaven?” “doesn’t he know heaven is bad?” posts. or some flavor of the same idea.

and they seem to be coming from the same crowd who also think that aziraphale going to heaven was “out of character”. which isn’t true if i’m being perfectly honest.

when we look at aziraphale through the lens of trauma, his actions begin to make a lot more sense. he is in an abusive and toxic relationship with heaven. and we all know (or at least we all should know) that leaving toxic/abusive environments isn’t an easy feat. and more often than not, abuse victims are very likely to end up in an abusive situation again.

aziraphale only knows heaven. while he and crowley have both seen that heaven doesn’t always do the best things (e.g. killing everyone in the flood, wanting to kill jobs kids, armageddon 1 AND 2), crowley has seen first hand that heaven is bad. crowley has fallen (or sauntered vaguely downwards), he’s been told that he isn’t worthy of heaven. that he isn’t enough. and he knows that what heaven does is so often wrong. he see that, because heaven already cast him out. why would he bother defending them?

but aziraphale only has heaven and has only ever had heaven. yeah he doesn’t agree with heaven or God on all fronts but heaven is still the right side,,, right? heaven is still his side.

aziraphale is comfortable with heaven. he’s used to it. and admitting to himself that heaven is toxic or problematic or bad would dismantle everything he’s ever told himself. it would mean admitting that he is a part of that toxic/etc institution. and possibly complacent in it.

(side bar: i would argue he isn’t complacent. we’ve seen him defy the will of God or heaven multiple times. see: giving up the flaming sword & lying about it, saving job’s kids and lying about it, stopping armageddon)

speaking from a personal perspective here: religious trauma is a beast to deal with. and a lot of people with religious trauma (myself included) go back to The Church over and over again despite being burned by it so many times.

for me it was knowing that The Church didn’t care about my reproductive rights. and knowing that they didn’t condone my queerness. and knowing that they think i’m somehow sinful for the music i listen to or the clothes i wear. and knowing that they believe my friends who are wonderful people and i love deeply are doomed to eternal damnation because they aren’t catholic.

aziraphale is the same way. for him it was being shown over and over again that heaven doesn’t care about him. doesn’t care about humanity. doesn’t care about what he thinks. doesn’t care (and in fact actively hates) the one being he loves more than anything. doesn’t care about anything but “triumphing over hell” (whatever that means).

but he kept going back. and i kept going back. i kept going to sunday mass for years after i figured out i was queer. i kept going long after i settled on my leftist politics that are far too radical for the catholic church. and aziraphale kept going back. despite having worked side by side with a demon for millennia. despite heaven wanting to kill his best friend/lover/most important person. despite wanting to destroy humanity (not just in armageddon, the flood did happen).

it takes a lot of work to even begin stepping away from toxic and abusive institutions. aziraphale gets better. season 1 is very “i am an angel you are a demon we cannot work together (but also we definitely are)” but by season 2 we have “our car” “my former people” “i thought we carved [this fragile peaceful existence] out for ourselves”. he’s beginning to realize that heaven does not have his back. he is on a side with crowley. they are in it together.

and yet. he still goes back to heaven. after all this time. all the failed attempts to get heaven to hear him out. why is he going back now? after a love confession from the demon he loves more than literally anything ever.

because he wants to enact change. he wants to finally see heaven rebuilt so that humanity is safe. so that the things he loves about the world are left unchanged. and most importantly, so crowley is safe. and he can only do that if he fixes heaven, right?

i know i’m not the only one who’s thought to myself “i’d be more religious if only i could fix The Church” or something adjacent. this idea that it’s an institution that can be fixed. when in fact, organized religion can’t be fixed. the structure it’s built upon is inherently flawed. personal faith is beautiful and i value my own, but organized religion will always bear systemic issues and oppressions.

aziraphale wants to be the change. he wants to fix it. that’s why he went back. he didn’t reject crowley. he didn’t leave crowley because he doesn’t love him back. he went back because he loves crowley. he went back because if he fixes it, crowley will finally be safe.

and i for one, want to see him succeed. i want him to be able to actually fix heaven. i want him fighting tooth and nail to make the world a safe place for the love of his life.

i want him to succeed in the change the rest of us never managed. i want him fulfilling what was mine and so many others dreams.

[amazing-spiderling]

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

📖: If you had to remove one book (/season/comic run) from the series, which would you choose?

🏳️‍🌈: Which character who is commonly headcanoned as queer doesn't seem queer to you?

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

It's actually good an interesting for him to have an established religion, it's just that not all writers handle it as deftly as they could. In most cases, if the writer is unsure how to handle the subject, or is unwilling/without enough time to do their due diligence when it comes to research, then it's better to just sidestep it. Despite what zealots on facebook would have you believe, most devout believers aren't screaming scripture in your face, they're letting the principles of their faith guide their actions.

📖: If you had to remove one book (/season/comic run) from the series, which would you choose?

Oh noooooooooooo, all the copies of Ultimate X-Men fell in the trash and burnedddd it's so saaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. I guess nobody is gonna get to read about creepy homophobic Nightcrawler ever again :((((((

🏳️‍🌈: Which character who is commonly headcanoned as queer doesn't seem queer to you?

This is gonna get me cancelled- so let me go ahead and say that I 100% understand why people think this, and I totally respect that it's important to them, and I would never take that away from them but- I don't think Spider-Gwen is trans. Like, YES I see the flag and the patch, and yeah I can see colors and YES I understand PARALLELS but like, in regards to the narrative I think it makes a lot more sense if Peter was the trans character. (I also understand the issues with that as well.) IDK Maybe it's just because I came into ATSV post Spider-Gwen and a lot of Spider-Verse comics where that's not really part of the vibe at all that it's just at odds with my existing conception of the character.

I guess to be fair, I am open to the idea of her being queer in other ways (gay/bi/ but mostly aro in some flavor) but this particular popular HC isn't one that jives with me.

[branmuffins22]

for the toh ask game- 2, 8, 12?

from this ask game:

2. Ramble about your favorite character of all time as much as you want. We're listening

Ohhhh boy. Oh man. Oh geez. You play a dangerous game, starting out with the kicker.

The obvious choice would be Luz, right? because she's like, the perfect main character. Lovable, relatable, flawed, believable (mostly; those fireworks were a bit much), clever, emotional, funny, the list goes on.

But.

However.

I have to go with Vee.

To me, Vee is all those things and more. She's still relatable, but for completely different (some unaddressed by canon, some completely made up by me) reasons. She's the cutest sweetest little shapeshifter we actually got the chance to get to know (sorry Stringbean). She's flawed, she'd completely given up on Luz's return and was ready to throw away whatever parts of her life she didn't jive with, and then even after most of a day of hanging out with her, she was STILL kinda mad at her! She's got confusing emotions and she was able to admit it! She's a tortured and traumatized kid who's trying maybe a bit too hard to put it all behind her, and even her more fantastical struggles are made to make perfect sense in that context. She's clever and observant enough to blend in with humans (and even convince Camila she was Luz for a while), and she was instrumental in solving the rebus. She's funny not just in her sense of humor (which is anywhere from awkward to earnest to dry, all hilarious), but also in the dichotomy of being one of the more "normal" "human" characters in the show, despite not really being either of those things (part of a thought-extinct species, and unique even among others of that species. said species is a kind of magic-eating shape-shifting demon from another realm, and here she is in suburban connecticut, idly learning spanish with her friends).

She's my precious baby blorbo and I love her. She's chubby (I'm chubby), she's awkward around her crush (I'm awkward around my crush (and also in general)), she likes to wear warm colors and big boots (I like to wear warm colors and big boots (not that I have any that fit well enough for daily wear)), she's got a bit of an overbite (I had one when I was young), she is (or, I guess, was?) kinda sorta something like a twin (I'm a twin), her hair is poofy and long (at least in her epilogue design) (my hair is poofy and long), augh, she feels basically tailor-made for me. I'm not exaggerating when I say I learned to love certain parts of myself by loving them first in her.

She's perfect.

also. im gonna rant about her even more in the next bit, sorrynotsorry.

8. Any headcanons? If so, which are your favorite?

Soooo many. Like, enough that I'm writing a whole ass barely-even-canon-divergent AU just to give myself the excuse to explore them. Actually, kinda writing two if you count MatVNN, but it's more of a post-canon affair.

Probably my favorite, though, is Vee being trans (and a bunch of other flavors of queer). I'll admit, a lot of the things that make me like Vee so much are just Sorta Plausible Shit I Came Up With, and chief among them is my trans Vee theory.

So, I'll start with the canon stuff:

Vee is rather unique, even among basilisks. Her tail has 3 fins rather than the other basilisks' 1 or 2 fins, her eyes have a different structure (and more individual colors) than the others', and she has a distinct head and neck that the other basilisks don't have. She's also a lot smaller than the other basilisks: about half the size of III and IV, and even smaller compared to the "greater basilisk" which attacked Hexside (we'll call her the Inspector). In the epilogue, Vee's size doesn't appear to have changed much, if at all (hell, even in her human form, she doesn't look much taller), nor have the sizes of III and IV. The only change any of them appear to have gone through is that Vee has more/longer hair, some of which is a lighter cyan than the previous navy blue, which still remains at her roots and on her ears.

Those are the facts. Now, there could be any number of reasons for her unique traits.

The doylist reason is the easiest: she was designed to look smaller and more humanoid to appear to the audience as more sympathetic. Her strange eyes could just be a bit of fun character design, something to make her stand out on screen. No biggie.

The watsonian reasons are a lot more compelling to me though.

She could very well be quite young for a basilisk. Perhaps their eyes change shape and lose some of their color as they grow up. Perhaps the neck becomes less distinct as they get older. Perhaps even after the 3+ year timeskip before the epilogue, Vee was still prepubescent for a basilisk.

Perhaps the various basilisks are representative of different species within the same family (ex. the Inspector is called a "greater basilisk", but the others are just referred to as "basilisks"), and Vee's unique traits are staples of whatever specific species she is (I first came across this theory in A Blight on Bonesborough, by GeminiAlchemist, and they proposed "fat-tailed basilisk" as the name of Vee's species, mostly for the sake of a gag)

One of the more interesting theories is that she's only half basilisk. I wasn't the one to come up with it, but I don't remember who was, so for that I apologize, but basically, there was a theory going around for a little while after her introduction, that Vee was actually the bastard child of one of the other basilisks and Warden Wrath. The biggest point of evidence was the yellow pupils, a trait only shared between Vee and Wrath, as well as the fact that Wrath was clearly involved in the basilisk project, as shown in Vee's flashbacks in Yesterday's Lie. It's not my favorite theory by any means, but it's a super interesting one, very angsty.

My personal theory, however, and the theory on which I base a few of my other Vee headcanons, is that all the myriad differences between Vee and the other basilisks can be explained away by a simple case of sexual dimorphism in the basilisk species. "Number 5" was simply the only "male" basilisk shown on screen.

Now, what's the evidence for this theory? There is none! As with all the best headcanons, there's no real reason it should be true, but there's ALSO no definitive evidence it isn't true.

So, Number 5 escaped the labs, wandered into the Human Realm, took the form of the only human he'd seen, and spent 3 months at summer camp incidentally trying out being a girl. Turns out, she liked it! So when the time came to give Luz back her identity, Vee made her own new form a girl too.

Now, this headcanon comes with some... caveats? Complications? Sprinkles of realism? I like to imagine some extraneous silly little plot points surrounding this.

Gonna mention 'nads & stuff in purple, so skip past it if you're squeamish about people having body parts or whatever.

When Vee took on Luz's form, she didn't really know what was going on under all those clothes, so she improvised, and kept things as close to her basilisk form as possible. It was partly to conserve magic during the shift, and partly just because she couldn't imagine what to put there. This meant she had a dick, and probably a pretty funny-looking one, too, until she came across a human health textbook and got a better picture of what that whole situation is supposed to look like.

Eventually, during an accident with someone in the Cabin 7 crew (probably standard "woops, didnt realize you were changing in here" shenanigans), someone catches her with her pants down, and she accidentally makes them think Luz is trans. A silly little mixup, definitely no consequences in the future, for sure.

After this, Vee ends up learning about pride flags and their meanings, and starts collecting those things like trading cards. She is staggeringly queer. I tend to think of her as bi/pan/demi-rose, genderqueer, genderfluid (usually on a sliding scale between fem and neutral, but outside that range often enough to be noteworthy), and polyam (in theory, anyways, but even by the epilogue she's still only had one partner, Masha. Granted, she's only maybe 18 by then, so she's got a LOT of time left to try things out), but because that's So Many Labels, she tends to simplify down to Queer. Am I projecting? Yeah, a little. Maybe a lot. So what?

Anyways, when Luz comes back and Vee picks out her own human form, she mostly performs a 1-1 translation from her basilisk form to her human form (matching her standing height, size, approximate face shape, etc), and in so doing, takes on a few typically-masculine characteristics (like a mostly-flat, somewhat-wide chest, bodyfat mostly at her belly, and of course, a (normal, human) dick (most of the time, anyways; she is a shapeshifter, and can do whatever she wants forever)), resulting in her rather androgynous appearance. If her human form is gonna be her, it's gonna reflect her truth: she wasn't always a girl, but she is now. In the epilogue, her human form looks a bit more feminine/less androgynous than before (most notably with wider hips), as if she'd been on HRT for long enough to see some changes.

Now, I've also got all manner of general Basilisk Biology Headcanons, such as how shapeshifting works (magic is used to perform transformations, and reverting to their natural form doesn't use any; holding a transformation only burns calories, not magic; transformations are holistic, inside-and-out, with the two exceptions being the brain and whatever organ stores collected magic), how magical hunger works (it doesn't quite exist, they're not vampires, eating/draining magic is just a thing they Can do in order to transform, not a thing they Have to do to live; however, when a basilisk is hungry, it begins burning through its magic to stave off malnutrition, causing them to seek out magically dense food (really just magic in general, kinda maladaptive like humans' sugar cravings)), how mass distribution works when they transform (they retain their weight when they take on new forms, which limits their transformed size by how far they can compress/decompress their mass. this is part of why the Inspector was so hungry; they were near the limits of how far they could compress, and burning through calories like crazy to stay that way), their natural habitat (fins on their tails suggest they're at least semi-aquatic, but the fact that they stayed on the Boiling Isles as they fled from Belos suggests that they're not immune to (and thus not native to) the Boiling Sea, therefore I propose that they were native to lakes, the only bodies of water shown not to be boiling all the time. also they use their shapeshifting to change their bouyancy as they dive for mollusks or whatever), reproduction (internal fertilization, followed by egg laying; they can change their physical sex pretty much at will, because they're shapeshifters, but if it's not their "natural" form, it still consumes magic to get into that form and burns extra calories to hold the form; fertilization and pregnancy tends to go quite poorly if a basilisk changes/reverts to a form that doesn't have the proper equipment for whatever child they're currently bearing), and so on (basilisk eyes are adapted for underwater, leaving them relatively nearsighted unless transformed to be otherwise, and they have a short-term photographic memory to make assembling accurate disguises on the fly easier/possible), but I don't really feel the need to go tooooo into detail with all that >.>

12. What do you consider the most memorable scene? Why?

That's a very tough choice, between the graveyard fight in Thanks to Them (Very intense. Very beautiful, very powerful) and the Lumity dance in Enchanting Grom Fright (Very romantic. Very beautiful, very powerful). They both basically defined the fandom brainrot after their respective releases, and unlike the various season finales, there was little else cutting in to interrupt and distract from them. Just tasty, tasty action, one at the breathtaking height of fluff, and the other in the soul-crushing depths of angst.

A close third, to whichever one of those is only second-best, would be the duel for the portal key in Eclipse Lake (Very dramatic. Very beautiful, very powerful). Another big action scene, who'd'a thunk it, and another angsty one, too.